#but i want to relisten properly now to really get a feel of the whole thing with all the details in mind

[straykats]

I did a whole album review again may I… pass it across the table to you 👀👏🏼 (aka can we exchange thoughts)

hehe hi izzy here is my lil review (that isnt much of a review and more a reaction/commentary thingy, as all my stuff always is HAHA) BUT !! imma read ur review now and kinda make comments in relation to yours? like a really bad one way email discussion hm AHAHA i avoided reading ur review until i did mine so i don't go into the album with other thoughts (although??? i've listened to all the songs on the album at least once before doing the 'review' so?? idk man HAHA) anyways relistening to the album as i read through yours/reply below HAHA sorry to make this kind of a two-part thing heh (with the review post and then this as well) (dont feel pressured to read both 😭😭)

hall of fame // i agree, it's such a good intro to the album with it's message // yeah the bass is so COOL AND OMGOMG YOUR SCI-FI COMMENT RIGHTTTTTTT RIGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTT i thought i was a weirdo for comenting on the alien-esque sounds (thats what i called that recurring riff in the background AHHA)

s-class// your comment about it showing a bit of everything? so true.

item // yes @ having changbin and lix do the 'item' lines // omg i didnt mention this in my post but i love the vocal pre-chorus thing // oh!! you mentioned the mix of happy and aggressive and it reminds me of one of my first thoughts on the song: okay hear me out idk how to explain this but i feel like if anyone can get me its you HAHAHA so this song gives me like. hacker vibes. BUT LIKE but like the happy go-lucky hacker that acts kinda childish and takes risks and is really. tricksy. like they hack in a way that annoys people and they leave little messages on their targets screen or smth idk man HAHA but like on this relisten of the song and ur mention of the aggressiveness, i'm seeing less of an individual and more of a group? like, a.. rebel kinda group but not rebel. i forgot the word. but like you have ur happy go lucky hacker, you have ur aggressive gunsmen or weaponsmaster and your sniper and the cool leader that always smirks (like think kuroo tetsurou but the Cool part of him not the annoying or dorky part HAHAHAHAH i miss him <//3) and like this song gives me a SUPER specific vibe that i want to write as a fic ARGH

super bowl // yeah i love the chanting/group lines !! it kind of really fits the vibe of this song? cant explain it properly. but haha i applaud u for loving the whispers w headphones; im gently cringeing JNVDJSKNVJDSK HAAHAHA

topline // this song would be so funny at concerts bc everyone will say fuck and then chan will have another meltdown // YES the transition to jisung's verse from tiger jk's is so uGH AND THEN TO HYUNJIN THAT WAS SO SMOOOOOTH // yes this is such a concert song i just hope its one of the songs where they can run around the stage freely bc for the final chorus i can see them hyping up the crowd w them and it would be so fun

get lit // YES THE LIL TRILL THING AFTER 'dance like crazy' right theyre so fun theyre so nice they're so--- wait i though i was typing in caps this whole time (i was reading ur comments while typing and just looked over LMAO) im having so much fun w that part on the piano. its stressing me a little but in a really good way like its so fun // really interesting (that sounds really rude/like online forced politeness and i dont mean it that way okay ily i mean genuinely interesting) how ur seeing this as such a happy cute song and in my thing i was like 'god this song is so bittersweet and sad' HAHAHAHA like YES it does have a lot of happy fun vibes to it (i called it a 'tropical' vibe LOL) but smth is also like. hm. // by little vocals at the end, did you mean the lalalalas? bc yeah same hehe

get lit // ur comment about the bass FJDKD UR RIGHT but im sorry idk why im laughing ur comment just made me laugh // yeah that verse really is harsh, i didn;t notice before // YEAHH THE CHORUS SYNTHHHHHH it kinda gives me like. i can see a girl group going nuts to this but in a really good way idk how to explain it haha // WAIT THATS HYUNJIN W THE SLURRED LINES????? // yes the little sound at the end hehehe

collision // RIGHT RIGHT THE TRUMPETSSSSSS // dont mind quickly editting my post to include collision as one of my favs. i forgot 💀 // i see you are having a lot of verse 2 > 1 moments hehe // yeah the phone ringing !!!!! its so cool i HBVJDSBVHJSVHSJ

fnf // yeah felix vocals :(((((((( love sm and then followed by hyunjin too i ahhbvdsjbvhsjbvhs // oh i only just paid attention to the lyrics bc of ur comment and now im feelin a lil sad HAHA // oh omg hyes it does give tmt vibes // ohoho??? gotta find out what chan said about 'catching up'

youtiful // smth about channo opening it feels so comforting, right? like, the whole song is comforting and feels like sitting on a rooftop swaddled in blankets with them (all of them, one of them, some of them) but opening it w chan specifically was the cherry on top. // omg yeah the disney vibes >>> // (re: one of ur comments) that was the saddest 'woohoo love that for me' ive read in my life

and i'll stop here. sorry again if this was such a long response ahhh heehfhshjs but it was really fun to make my own comments and then listen to the album again and read ur comments.

[dykeyote]

Dearest Jedidiah and the Tonies perhaps? :)

calling him dearest jedidiah made me giggle i think its bc jedidiahs such a fancy name . makes me go hehehehe . the tonies r tricky for me to do mundane hcs for bc i struggle to have distinct hcs for them both separately i gotta pay more attention to those mfs on my relisten to form more characterization . so ill do u just a ton of jedidiah ones which is ez bc im crazy cray cray insane abt him

i think jedidiah takes seroquel when he gets on medication and gets therapy and shit . bc thats what i take and we are the same

he can play the piano because lucille got him to take lessons a lot when he was younger and he liked learning video game sountracks on them (: he hasnt played in a while but he was pretty good at it

he also can only use wired headphones because wireless ones stress him out hes constantly paranoid hes gonna drop them and break them

he has tons of watches on both of his wrists and most of them are analog but he has ONE digital watch and its a shitty little kids star wars watch that sydney got him thats always 14 minutes behind it doesnt serve purpose to help with his rituals he just likes having it on and its easy to hide the sentimental value with having it be with a ton of other watches

he mirrors video game dialogue a lot many of his go-to phrases are snatched from games he really likes and yvonne teases him for it a lot, sydney too when he catches them tho hes less of a gamer so its more rare

every time he plays a pokemon game or anything else with customizable characters he doesnt put in himself he formulates a whole oc with a general personality and feelings about things and then makes choices based on what he thinks the character he made would do

he really likes ferrets and weasels and stoats and other long creatures of that nature he researches them on occasion . he thinks theyre sweet and kinda wants a ferret as a pet but worries about how smelly they are

he collects both pokemon and magic the gathering cards . he likes collecting things if he can find something to collect and organize logically he WILL . but trading cards are a favorite because he likes putting them in binders with specific organizational styles

he listens to a lot of dnd podcasts (: hes often been too busy or shut off or nervous to join an actual dnd group but he ADORES dnd and has all the manuals and shit so its a nice way to deal w that interest . he gets very annoyed when the people on them dont follow the rules tho hes one of those types

hes tried to program a video game several times and every single time hes gotten stressed halfway through and given up on it . he randomly is like this would be suchh a cool idea but then he overwhelms himself . he does find it quite relaxing though so sometimes he works on random projects hes started so he can detense

he always wears clothes slightly too baggy for him . it started out intentional for comfort but now he just genuinely does not know what size clothes fit him so even if he wants to get something that fits him properly he wouldnt really know how

hes tried to write poetry before but hes failed every time due to being canonically too repressed for it . he just stares at the paper and then puts his pen down and stares at a clock for an hour

[echo-of-the-eye]

The long as hell timeline of when i got into tma:

My experience with getting into tma was really long and complicated so I got curious about the timeline of how it happened. I'd forgotten a lot of the early stuff but I went through some old texts and stuff so. For no ones enjoyment but my own, a timeline of how I got into tma:

first heard about it from my friend (if you’re reading this, hi:)) sometime in 2020

fun fact, the first audio I heard was brutal pipe murder out of context (followed by the leitner rant)

then started listening sometime late 2021 (I’d reached ep 28 by nov 7th)

listening was going REALLY slow. it was my first time listening to a fiction podcast and I was absorbing NOTHING.

finished s2 january 2022

side note: I did not realize sasha was dead (I had a hard time with voices and it was so long between listening to season 1 and 2 I straight up forgot what happened. also I didn't know about the transcripts and didn't listen to the credits) and at some point my friend asked how far I'd gotten and I said s2. and they said something like "oh so sasha's dead then?" and I was like "what, no. wait sasha DIES?!" they ended up kinda saving it by pretending they'd gotten the season wrong or something so I thought they'd spoiled me for a future event and that it was going to happen soon. I was shocked when I realized she'd been dead the whole time and that my friend did not spoil me, I was just stupid.

don't remember clearly but I think I took a pretty big break at some point

oct-nov 2022 I was interested enough that I made a (pretty bad) short film based on the anglerfish for a school project

think it was somewhere around this time I started getting back into it and trying to listen properly as I reached s3. I went back and relistened a lot so I could keep track of characters and plot (I used the wiki a lot which… yeah I don’t think I really realized it was supposed to be a mystery? I looked up all the fears and stuff before Gerry explained them cause I wanted to understand what was happening. Patience is not my strong suit)

I listened to the s3 finale on a plane in february 2023. (don't think I’d interacted with the fandom, but I’d spoiled tim's death while reading the wiki I think. I didn’t technically know when or how he died, just that he would be dead by the end of the season but with the way things were going I was not surprised)

summer 2023 is when it became a hyperfixsation. I was listening to s4 and I was starting to check in on the fandom, trying (and failing) to avoid spoilers. I started reading fanfiction from the earlier seasons as well

started s5 in september 2023. took a break between s4 and 5 cause I was really dreading it ending. and I took a while to listen through s5 too

when I heard about protocol I realized I needed to finish s5 before it came out. didn't quite manage it. finished s5 after a couple protocol episodes had dropped. so around jan-feb 2024

then I started listening to protocol after ep 10 was out (I needed a break to process s5)

anyway thats it. think it's so fun when people say they binged all of tma in like a few weeks. when I took three years... makes me realize I’m pretty new to the fandom even though it feels like I’ve been here forever. I’m really glad I get to experience protocol live now.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary264

6/7-8/24

friday - saturday

listening to the album now...

really really liking it. there's i think gonna be 6-7 songs i need to fix up, some of that's a little complicated still i think (there's like 4-5 i'm gonna be relistening to, to figure out though + see if i really need to do anything.) but the album sounds really coherent now, i think, and everything's hitting basically, the vocals are a touch muffled but that's like, fine, i think. it's like fucked up weirdo stuff, so it's okay if it's drowned up by the fucked-up-ness and also it is fucked up what i'm singing sometimes i suppose.

i do think i need to get back into reading properly, work made it like, easier, that's one thing i'll miss. it's too easy to sit and watch dumb things all day, reading books is good. i bought that isabelle nicou book, stricture, as well as preordered the new dennis cooper comp of shorts, very excited for both. i do think maybe i want to stick with fiction a touch longer.... out of what's beside me... maybe i need to do another genet right now. it is pride month after all.

also just finished this listen of the album, i'm genuinely so happy with how this is coming out now, it's like, all now coming together really i think. it's like, solidly in front of me, the hideous lovely thing i have spent over a year on... wow, it's so freakish!!

today was really good though, otherwise, we went out with my gf's mom, and she took us places, we went to this korean-dog place, like the corn dogs, and mochi donuts, this place is by our house and really yummy... so we will have to go back... and it's not too spenny. so #swaeg.

i also talked to my mom today, she watched a let's play of the game sally face which she loved, and she also watched one of disco elysium (because i told her i love that game) and it also moved her, i'm very happy about that. sally face makes sense for her, it is very 'her' i think.

beyond the k-dogs, we went to town square, which is like a nightmare shopping bougie zone but it's kind of cute to walk around, my gf and i wandered around some stores, she got a smoothie bowl and i didn't get one cuz something in my throat hurts and it suxx, uhh, we wandered around a victoria's secret a bit, i need to buy underwear but obviously i'm kind of a special case. it's weird how they don't seem to have anything relating to that... it's not like i even tuck just something a bit... idk, i guess thicker in terms of fabric would be nice. anyways, we did that, looked at some shitty clothes (nothing good is ever down there really i think), and after i was being all 'no i don't need to eat' she made me go to a ramen place which was good for my messed up throat. then we went home. oh we also got oatmeal inside of whole foods.

whole foods makes me nostalgic, all that kind of hippie-health food wook orientalist stuff reminds me of being a child, and i remember going to whole food with my mom when i was younger, it was like a special treat to get food from their food-court thingie. i think the first cannoli i ever had was from there. i love cannolis. kind of fucked up they're going to be associate with whole foods for like forever for me.

something about oat meal too, i saw a box of oatmeal that had celtic decoration on it, which also reminded me of all the fae pagan stuff my mom was into when we lived in an apartment together, just her and i, i really have a fondness for that kinda thing. learning about the cycle of the moon, the child's moon, hearing about lilith, special kinds of rock, incense, decoration from cost plus world market, as i get older i sometimes yearn for some of these things... we've gone to the world market semi-recently, i loved looking at the intl. food section.

anyway, i also took selfies today, here i am:

there's some more angles of me in these... hope i am cute... i think i am, which makes me happy. i've been feeling cute again lately without work. which is good.

i also did not read any monster today, shameful but also i was out for a while and stuff so it's not my fault or it is but it's okay cuz it's just for fun it doesn't really matter.

also i feel like it's rather obv but when i take selfies there's like more than what i post. idk why i feel like talking about this but i am, cuz i do the same pose a lot, like hold it for 4-5 pics maybe. maybe not that many or maybe more depending on the pose. idk why i think about posing really i am just trying to be a thing and be visible to create proof for myself + idk, i like people seeing my face and seeing their faces and then having that kind of relation, it makes me more physical, i'm not capable of escaping the body, so i embrace it. i guess this is embracing the body, the excess i keep saved on my computer, the xtra selfies, a strange waste-product, or are the ones i post waste-product, or i suppose it all is, this is the dust that escapes into wind, growing thin, all the particles spread out across everything and mingling with anything and everything else, becoming atmosphere, filtered down, eaten, turned to waste elsewhere.

also isn't the shirt cute... it's got a big pile of discarded stuffed animals on it. i think it is very sweet.

wow, i just found something crazy, some guy on here who really wants to be in the hellp, look and listen:

it's not bad but it's so obvious. i think it's interesting that it's so obvious i guess. the more i listen to him, the more used to his vocals i get, i think he's kind of cool with that at least. he doesn't suck, he's just occupying weird space in the song i feel like. this one is also a bit of a non-song, this one's properly good though:

it's so weird... the guy with bangs + leather jacket +sunglasses thing, not being joey ramone, but just referencing nyc mid 00s dickheads, or early i suppose as well. we've got a guy like this out here in vegas, i call him loewe guy because i've seen him in loewe sometimes. he's nice and really liked the noise set i did and i made him listen to les rallizes denudes. i kind of expected him to be at guitar wolf but my gf said guitar wolf are too rock and roll, formally speaking, and maybe affectively speaking too, but they play stuff super indebted to old rock n roll, 50s stuff you know, psychobilly garage rock indebted freakout music, obv different too but they've got the classic punk thing going where they just love that kinda shit and pull from it like crazy, she said that kind of thing is a 'zoomer check' which is funny but probably true.

going back in this guy's uploads on sc, they get to feel less like the hellp, more like an anonymous ref to a lot of the indie sleaze thing, also feeling like this other kid (hollis?? i think, he's okay, this guy might be better as a songwriter), but this is also pretty good:

the cover is like hilarious to me,

anyway, i need to sleep now, so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hauntedhotel]

Thoughts at the end of season 2 of TMA:

1. How much of a letdown was Jurgen Leitner??? When Jon said his name I was like, "oh snap! the devil's librarian!" but then he was just some muppet collecting evil books cause he was bored of his rich-kid life and then he just straight up lost them all??

2. I almost don't want to ask but...is THAT what the fuck happened to Sasha? Like...is she dead dead? I can't cope, I was totally hoping they were going to be able to rescue her from table-purgatory or whatever but I might need to scream into a pillow now.

3. ELIAS!!!! Turns out he really did murder Gertie! Tbf even though I was joking when I said I thought it was Elias, finding out Gertie was planning to destroy the archives is a little bit worse than just finding out she was fudging her expenses so maybe it was justified. But the archives are evil (or...are part of a Lovecraftian entity of fear or torment or whatever, I might have to relisten to the episode to fully understand what's going on there) so maybe Gertie's plan to burn the place down was justified. Elias, you are a suspicious little dude and I don't like you, even if I'm not sorry you brained Leitner in the head with a pipe.

4. Jon and Martin intrigue me, because I know people ship them (although I don't know what basis this has in canon so if the whole show ends with Elias marrying them on the Institute roof or something don't tell me) and obviously at the start it seems like, laughably unlikely and the whole time I was listening to season 1 I was like "where tf does this ship come from, Jon is a straight-up bitch to Martin" but dammit, I can already tell this is going to be one of those ships where every tiny stupid thing has my heart-eyes on max. I was listening to the end of Crusader where Martin's asking Jon if he wants a sandwich from the cafe and Jon's like "that depends, are you going to helicopter me if I go to the canteen?" and Martin's like "that depends, are you still sticking to your bullshit story about the breadknife?" and Jon's just like "...I'll get my coat".

Me: oh...oh no...are they...actually adorable?

5. A genuinely sad thing I found about the tail-end of the season was the whole time I was convinced Jon was eventually going to have a proper conversation with Tim about the stalking and I figured it would fix things because Tim is not a monster and I feel like if Jon explained and apologised properly he wouldn't hold a grudge forever, but now Jon's left it to fester and it's past the point of being fixable and now Tim thinks Jon has murdered a random old man in his office.

6. Martin Blackwood, my beloved, he makes my heart grow three sizes every time he speaks! "Living happily ever after wouldn't actually be the worst thing in the world TIM!" You tell him babycakes! Your taste in men is questionable at best but if "secretly an idiot in an academic packaging" is your type then you fight for that happy ending!

*exhales*

Okay. Done now. Stay tuned for unhinged thoughts on Season 3 I guess!

[the-ipre]

Relistening to Balance and I remembered something absolutely buck wild; Barry and Lup aren’t officially married in cannon. There’s no mention of a wedding, a wedding ring, or anything. Griffin never says they’re NOT married, but still, crazy right???

all due respect to griffin (which is a lot!) but also. cowardice.

–––

Lup and Barry are in love, and that is almost a given state of the universes at this point. Before they put that into words properly, though, they pined for decades and they did fake being in a relationship more than once in the half a century before one actually happened. 

Two years after the Legato Conservatory, Lup offhandedly mentions getting married. For the tax benefits, of course, because this plane is something of a nightmare in that regard and it would be fun, and she knows that she is talking more quickly than usual because it stopped feeling like a joke almost before she opened her mouth.

She keeps her eyes trained down the barrel of her microscope, biting her lip in a futile attempt to hold back a tense grin as Barry audibly fumbles and drops something.

“Uh, never let it be said that I would say no to marrying you, because that would be. Uh. Good,” Barry says, and a knot of tension that shouldn’t have existed in the first place unravels in Lup’s chest. “But i also wouldn’t be opposed to getting married for reasons other than tax purposes.”

Lup looks up from her microscope and Barry is a more than a little bit flushed, but he smiles at her and she returns a grin in full force. “Barry J Bluejeans, are you suggesting a marriage for love? Whatever would our family say.” Lup draws out the words, scooting her rolling chair closer to Barry.

“Probably that it’s about time?” Barry says. “I think that Taako was ready to straight up leave the planar system last time we pretended to be married just to get into a gala.”

“To be fair, it was a very good gala.” Lup links her fingers through Barry’s, and almost without thinking, he lifts their hands up to press a kiss against the back of hers. “Really though, you do want to get married? For real this time?”

Barry’s eyes are crinkled in a smile behind his glasses, and Lup doesn’t know how much longer their quest for the Light will continue but she is prepared to spend every day of it with him. “I do, yeah. I don’t- aw, shit, I don’t have a ring on me.’

“Neither do I, but I think that the two most accomplished scientists on all the planes can figure something out,” Lup says. Honestly, she really would have expected this whole proposal thing to be a more formal deal, what with how long it had taken them to get together in the first place. Sitting here, though, hands linked in the lab that they share, it feels as close as perfect can get for people like them. “But! For now, at least, how about this.”

Lup lights a kiss on Barry’s ring finger where it is locked with her own, and a bright red line blooms around it. It’s just a prestidigitation, nothing that will last forever, but that’s okay.

Besides, the look on Barry’s face is one that Lup will remember forever. “I love you,” he breathes out, the words seeming to slip out without his realizing, and Lup ducks her head in a laugh, bumping his shoulder with her forehead.

“I love you too, babe.”

Barry traced a finger around the base of Lup’s ring finger, drawing a line of dark blue behind it. “We’re really getting married,” and there’s awe in his voice at that, so much that Lup can feel it filling her up as well.

“No doubt about it,” she says, bringing her newly marked hand up to Barry’s face, smile softening as he presses his cheek into her palm. Later, there will be time for plans, time to laugh at the look on Taako’s face when he hears about it, time to worry and hold each other through that worry, but they can face that as it comes. In this moment, Lup needs nothing more than to hold her fiance (for real this time!)

Oh, and also to smooch his brains out. That’s high on the list.

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[icharchivist]

hello icha!! i finally got around to finishing the stranger haha,, by which i mean i just watched it today. was veryyyy excited for it as i really like the poster design for this one. anyways. this event starting w/ the sort of portrait format or whatever / that narration is like. god. threw me right back to autumn troupe. I kind of love that the storytelling format itself is so distinct for autumn! the moment I realized it was omi I started getting teary… like oh man oh man… omi…. And the connection with him taking photos! ahh!! now that I think about it… omi kind of seems a bit like early version tsumugi, huh? also I keep forgetting this man is a college student lol. suspension of disbelief I suppose. onto the play i think like. mankai should invest in a fainting courch for tsuzuru. i also went to watch the play and 1) im betting yuki had a hell of a time costume design wise like the vines on the body? such fun costuming wise and 2) the ethical implications of whatever this play has,,, fun fun. tsuzuru was clearly having some kind of thoughts. i love zeros design and am always up for a3 characters crossdressing bc 1) i think its fun and 2) the costume design. i also dearly wish this whole thing was animated bc I feel like it’d be o fun to see taichi act as zero. or at least I hope this event gets full voiced one day... moving on to the scene where omi adds soy sauce to the paella I know it’s just like haha homare funny so lets five him a lil bit but like everyone in autumn troupe making their comments on the paella and like homare just jumping in. homare autumn troupe besties. just thinking. also the way they just r like. no no no omi it’s fine if u made a mistake!! it’s ok! we like it (you) anyways <3 it’s got it’s own special taste. something something omi’s perfectly pleasant as he is now but even if he weren’t on his a-game and was dealing with all of the biker gang stuff they would love him just as hard. another thing that got me was omi telling banri that he’ll give him something sweet so juza will stop grinding his teeth in his sleep… guys… guys you’ll give him cavities…. mb omi is a college student after all lol.

anyways when i saw the actual costumes. appreciative of them, i like the lil circuit-esque detailing on banri’s outfit, and that sakyo and taichi (nine and zero) both share that like collar detail? its very symbolic and probably also literal but its a nice way to sort of signify their relation to each other visually! also sakyo just looks nice. seeing him without glasses is so great. whoever thought up the like two mole detail for him was doing gods work.

something that confused me was ryo mistaking juza for nachi for a split second? like. does juza… look similar to nachi? or was it just that ryo only heard juzas voice and made that mistake. if it’s appearance wise too. kumon nachi confirmed. I’m joking lol bc I feel like I would’ve heard at least something abt it in one of the like small conversation comments, plus that doesnt seem like itd fit summer troupes style and kumon is for sure the wrong age… but still.

i really like how for this event, the roles for taichi and omi were kinda reversed. and taichis just so like. idk. smiley. rly lifts ur spirits. its kind of nice how this event contrasts to that cg where taichi is crying on omi. I also think like. idk. considering the story of the stranger. wolf gives zero a sense of purpose and life and I think that zero helps wolf lose his apathy. it’s about “the stranger” and the ending makes him like… not a stranger, right? because he’s got a companion. in the same way, taichi brings omi out of his emotional isolation. the picture taking! also the stickers coming back… thats such a good setup! the found family of it all!!

when he was trying to work out zeros character as soon as taichi mentioned a sharp speaking style I KNEW it was Yuki… yuki would never be as honest as zero is though lol… to me i imagine she’s got a sort of juza internal monologue feel? anyways. the taichi yuki dynamic intrigues me. havent yet decided how I feel abt it but when I do… yes. sorry that I make literally no sense. I think it’s very obvious that yuki is my fav chara kind of? I’m just. hmmm it makes me think! I’ve been monologuing to myself abt the yuki and juza dynamic lately which, to my a3 knowledge so far, doesn’t exist, but its ok bc I’ll make it exist! uhhh anyways this event was very good i liked the pacing. i think it didnt drag too hard and it really properly honed in on just omi and taichi, which was quite nice. they really did a lot for just an event!

time to listen to the event song,,, ok so. ah. i rly enjoyed just for myself it was very much to my taste so. out of curiousity i was like ok lemme look up the composer / producer AND IT WAS YUYOYUPPE....... that guy is like!!!! one of my FAV producers ever!!!!!! i know him from like. his vocaloid days and god leia is still one of my fav songs to this day...! this knowledge gives me so much joy omg!!! like wow!! wowwww!!! like i knew yuyoyuppe was out there doing other stuff (i know he worked on a lot of babymetal music which is cool) but like idk. to suddenly encounter it like this. heheh.... its so nice! made me soooo happy. going to relisten to leia now haha

WAIT ONE MORE THING. i was like "haha let me look at other songs i remember liking a lot" which. for me was rakuen oasis and don't cry. anyways. rakuen oasis is ALSO by yuyoyuppe???? oh my god!!! oh my god... sigh. feel like im in heaven.

OH HI FRIEND!! so good to see you with an a3 update!! :D

godd yeah The Stranger started so strongly and the idea to still incorporate portraits in his story was really something to make us cry!

And linking Omi and Tsumugi like this is pretty interesting :O <hat is your reasoning exactly? :O

For the fainting couch for Tsuzuru LMAO and i'm letting you know there's a webcomics that addresses it in Act 2 (hough there's no spoilers aside from the fact Chikage is here)

Im glad you liked the costume and the play!!! yeah i love the designs and it is always a blast to see them this into it, and yeaaah Tsuzuru has thoughts huh. It'll get voiced sooner than later hopefully and there we'll see more in details :3c but also that's what made the seiyuu live so fun bc they perform the songs in play cosplay and replay a bit of the play everytime and it's *chief kiss*

HOMARE AUTUMN TROUPE SOLIDARITY YES. LOVING IT.

And yeah the scene itself was so cute TwT they all want to reassure Omi and be there for him it's so sweet :( but yeah i love how you say it all, Omiimi TwT

and dLKFJDFLKJFDFD Giving Juza cavities is the price to pay for sleep i guess??

yeah agreed on the costume they all look so cool! and nice catch on how those three seem linked like that with their costumes, Yuki (and the designers) does such a good job! and god yeah for Sakyo.. yeah. He has sucha good design dLKJFDF

aND DLKFJD yeah no Juza is supposed to look like Nachi physically, but mostly his face? like i think Nachi was had green hair? we see a sprite of him in a future story, and yeah, everything is in the eyebrows. so Kumon should be safe? Omi mentions he sees a lot of Nachi in Juza, and while it is mostly due to their passions i think, the fact they're also rough looking guy with a heart of gold must play a part as well. but yeah, he does look like Nachi a bit.

and i love your deeper analysis of the event yeah!!

I feel like Taichi is really an emotional core of the troupe in the sense that is, he tends to catch on what others are feelings easily. And he uses it in the early chapters to ease off the tensions and stuff, but he was being held back by knowing he was deceiving them. So now that he's more free, he can be more of himself. but yeah i also love the contrast with how Omi was the one to help Taichi through his breakdown and guilt, and now it's the other way around, it's Taichi helping him through it. and the parallelism between the play and their dynamic is spot on imo! well said!!

and god yeah the sticker things made me cry sO HARD, and the pictures! and everything!! sobs it's such a sweet found family i'm going to cry :(

And! i love what you say about Yuki, Taichi and Juza on this one. I love that Taichi keeps bringing it back to "that childhood friend" and it's always like. so obvious who it is for us rip. But it can make you wonder if Yuki was more honest as a kiddo when Taichi knew him, though now he's clearly not. I love the mention of how Zero is more like Juza's internal speech (which, if anything is another argument about why you should let Juza wear a dress, cOWARD)

but also your mention of the Yuki and Juza thing, while i can't think of them having a dynamic per se yet, but i actually wrote a post during my reread about how i was baffled at the fact they treated Muku the same way?? like both of them tried to push Muku away because they were scared of how people would react if they say pure, sweet Muku was associated to them. And i find it fascinating because i guess those two are pretty aware of how the world see them, and it used to stop them from fully allowing them to be themselves.

I also find it relevant with the fact Yuki says in his personal song that while all of this way people judge him weight on him, he rather be himself, and "I want to love myself". Meanwhile we have Juza who's also aware of the way people judge him and it weight on him, and he wants to change himself from this person he hates, this self loathing - and in a way, he can grow in a way to be "someone" he may not hate, even on stage. I feel like those two have quite a bit in common in this way of being rejected by their peers in some sort of way.

I really want them to share some stuff at some point because there's really a groundwork on it all :(

But i'm really glad you liked that event!! agreed on the pacing and i do love what it brings to the characters! it really fleshes them out and have them move forward a little and it's pretty sweet.

AND OMG THAT'S SO COOL FOR THE SONG!! i'm so glad you liked it, but that's incredible it turned out to be from one of your fav producer!!! ahah sometimes life is like that where you end up finding the stuff you loved back into new stuff! and the fact Rakuen Oasis was from him as well... that's so cool!!! just, so so cool!

im pretty sure he has more songs going forward so i hope you'll enjoy the ride even more!!

thank you once again for sharing your thoughts about a3 :3c it always makes me so happy to see them!!!

Thank youu <3 have a good day :3c

[willmelon]

i don’t usually do this but i feel Compelled to do a liveblog/review of Mouth Dreams so here goes

Please don’t read this if you haven’t heard the album yet as it’ll spoil Everything

(i’ll admit the idea came to me After i listened to Just a Baby so these first ones are gonna be relistened reviews)

first we got Yahoo. what can i say about this song? neil starts off Strong with incredibly sustained notes and just one phrase, in typical neil style. and he makes it work in so many different ways! honestly didn’t expect myself to get so attached so fast but that’s just the way his magic works ig. when the hoooooooos harmonise it almost brings tears to the eyes. i would love to see a group of choristers singing this with another guy on an electric keyboard. what a cold open. 9/10

of course then we go on to the titular track, the dimension of sound, the dimension of imagination, the dimension of doors. rod serling narrates the intro in his traditional monotone as the warbling twilight zone theme plays in the background. i tell ya i was actually Screaming when the track finished and he dropped the title! it may not be a song per se, sort of like Blockbuster from Mouth Moods, a ‘filler track’ if you will, but the effort in those fifty seconds cannot be ignored. it just goes to show once again how Good he is at what he does. 6.5/10

oh lawd, my favourite so far, Spongerock. reading the title i had absolutely No idea what to expect. the goofy goober song from the movie? winner takes all from band geeks? i was pleasantly surprised to find myself tapping out queen’s distinctive boom boom CLAP as the song progressed, and i was in complete Hysterics the whole way through, chanting along with the kids as the pirate encouraged me to sing louder. it’s such a beautiful fit the way they mesh together, and it’s one of those mashups that you listen to and think ‘why has nobody done this before?’ but neil is on a higher plane of existence than us and Knows where it’s at. you’re never the same after you’ve listened to Spongerock. 7.5/10

Just a Baby, where i stopped to begin this thing, is a melancholy song, which i’m not usually a fan of. i admit i don’t know the original song so i kept quiet until the last chorus or two. it’s the yang to the yin of Wow Wow from Moods, another sentence-mixer that was like a full Bop and barely gave you time to catch your breath. in Just a Baby you begin to empathise with the singer as he regales confusing times of his constant youth, including the time his mother (a train) shot a man in cold blood. it’s a powerful ballad, and it’s got a tasteful amount of justin bieber adding backing vocals to the chorus. i may have to deduct a few points cos the lyrics are gonna be hard af to remember. 7/10

ok next up we got Superkiller. this one’s totally blind! i’m. ehhhhh okay not diggin this one very much. ok that say something once line being repeated was comedy gold but talking heads are just like. kinda tuneless tbh. i’m glad he’s trying to lassoo it together with u can’t touch this but it’s kinda falling short tbh. i wouldn’t skip it but it’s not as memorable as the previous ones. 5/10

starting Get Happy. i’m not gonna lie i think i Know what this is, there are only so many options after all. i predict it’s a mix of “get dancin’” by disco-tex and the sex-o-lettes and “happy” by bahrrel williams, and i really hope that ain’t the case cos i Love the first one but despise the latter. oh well let’s see if he can pull it off. sounds like village green by the kinks so far lol uhhhh i have no idea what to make of this. okay i feel like i’m gonna like this after all. hey it’s got memorable lyrics at least! is it gonna get faster? or just more bassy? yknow maybe i was too critical at the start, but i had no idea what to expect. this is a feel-good pop song and it’s definitely making me feel happier than i was when i was listening to Superkiller. 7/10

Ribs? wtf do i expect from a song called Ribs lmao another song i’ve never heard of IH IT’S EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE TH WORLD OH YEEEEEEEEES omg i Love this song i sing it to myself when i’m walkin my dog cos his little paws click-clack on the pavement to the exact rhythm of the song omg i’m in Love! another one with odd lyrics but i think after a Lot of repeat listening i’ll be able to properly croon along to this one omg! it reminds me of Best from Mouth Silence in that they’re both about products, only instead of folgers in your cup it’s about chili’s baby back ribs omg neil you’re Perfect! how come more advertisers haven’t contacted you for a product placement deal?? 7.5/10

next we got My Mouth. welcome to? who knows let’s hit play. ooooh minor key. is this a real song? it sounds like oney singing a cover of something. oh That’s the gimmick? 2:30 long i hope there’s something else tbh cos otherwise it’s gonna get pretty thin pretty fast. mm not a fan. the weakest so far imo especially after Ribs blew me away. definitely a bad dream. 3.5/10

Aerolong don’t fail me now! okay see This is how you do a mashup. I DON’T MISS YOU BABAY AND I DO WANNA MISS A THING THAT’S GOLD!! this is just a song about saying bye to your ex lmao i love it. wish it was longer though. 6/10

Sleepin’ here we go! ok in the youtube version the first half of this song is just silence so that wasn’t fun. gee this one’s only moderately better than My Mouth i’m feeling very shortchanged. 4/10

what to expect from Aamoorree? hopefully this one’s another jam but...okay i’m likin this one. it’s Fun and isn’t trying too hard! it’s just a drunk dean martin singing about pizza pie on karaoke night, what more could you ask for lol. 6/10

Where Is My Mom? by the p-p-p-pooo-oo-ooo-oooool of course. i don’t recognise the other song but it’s decent. i’ve listened to slowed-down songs before (the sludgefest chipmunks albums lately) and this one’s kinda ok. not a fan of the ending but points for effort ig. 5.5/10

Fredhammer ay? might there be some peter gabriel in there? undoubtedly. yup there it is lol ok now bring in the flintstones? oh ig that’s fred durst? mm not totally feeling it so far but censoring he** was funny lmao HEY THERE’S SEINFELD i’m wheezin that was a good way to end a song, well done neil. 6.5/10

here goes Limp Wicket. i’m on the edge of my seat. and Again i’m disappointed. is this a bunch of ewoks singing some kind of star wars song? or is it jarjar? either way this is Not a good song. it probably wasn’t before he mashed it up but this wasn’t an improvement. bringing in Fredhammer didn’t help this song much at all, in fact i think it brought both songs down actually. last one was a 7/10 but i Have to dock it points now that it’s a two-parter. as for this one? i’m being generous cos the limp bizkit song was good. 1/10

Cannibals runs for 4 minutes. PLEASE don’t let this be a repeat of the last one. i get that miners can’t dig up gold every time but don’t just show up with a bunch of rocks and iron pyrites yknow i’m just gonna start. i don’t want to be angry at this album. i recognise that sound in the bg! from a cyriak vid i think. thx comin in. loooooooong drone. ugh UGH there are Too many lucid dreams on this album. starting to regret liveblogging this cos i Loved the other three mouth albums. this one’s just falling flat again and again. 3/10

here comes The Outsiders. there is NOTHING to say about this. 1.5/10

come on Johnny. okay that got a laugh out of me, not many songs start with a booing crowd like that, is that meta? wouldn’t put it past him tbh. ah i’ll give it a 5/10, for a kinda filler song it wasn’t too bad.

Closerflies, this has gotta be gold. PLEASE. intro’s goin on for a little too long...mm having never heard the original version of closer i gotta admit i thought it’d be faster, like the one used in Rollercloser in Silence. this version seems very sloppy and sluggish, especially the bassline. 3/10

Nightmovin’ i’m not expecting much OH good intro oh YES now here we go. this is a good one, it’s got clear lyrics and a catchy tune, i’m liking this one more and more by the second. cuts off weird but it’s going into the next one. so i’m gonna leave the rating out of this one and see how it is after the next one.

Whitehouse i’m holding my breath. mm it’s Good but not great tbh. criminal that the last one was half as long as this one. think i’m gonna give both of these songs a 5/10 i doubt they’ll be anyone’s favourites. the title is a nice little joke too i respect that.

Wah! what’s neil’s obsession with using wannabe as a source lmao! it’s another decent one but nothing memorable again. 5/10

Pee Wee Inc i’m expecting big things. good intro I’M IN LOVE okay this is Much better than i imagined it’d be. did he use the radio edit of feel good inc? this is a heck of a way to bring it back to the gold stuff and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is what neil’s head sounds like all the time. 7/10

on to 10,000 Spoons. not sure what to expect from the title. okay this is a Nice one i think. throwback to the likes of Just a Baby with the two songs and the sentence mixing and it’s Good. and really 10,000 spoons is So ironic anyway, don’t you think? 7/10

oh another song called Mouth Dreams? an extro? that was Weird lol ok the intro i wasn’t too keen on, def not as much as the intro, but i got to appreciate it as it went on. like Rlly appreciate it i was beginning to reflect on what a journey i’d been through tonight, especially writing it all down. felt very poetic. and then WHAM, out of nowhere, after being gone for 23 songs, all-star came Back and How! gotta give this one a 7.5/10

keep the train rolling Brithoven! i can hear faint bits of instruments in britney’s song in the back of her audio which sound like a mistake but knowing neil.......yah lmao. this song’s kinda like Promenade (Satellite Pictures at an Exhibition) from Mouth Sounds, i liked what i heard. very nice. 6.5/10

the final song. we’re gonna be hit one more time for Ain’t! and i have NO idea what i’m in for! in the hall of the mountain king eh? is this like a way of looping around to the first song of the first album with classical music? ok the snoring’s a nod to Bustin i’m sure lmao funny anyway. i thought i heard a hey now in there but i must be going nuts. wouldn’t call it a grand finale but it is what it is. 5/10

now the question that must be asked - was Mouth Dreams trying to make a point? was there a reasons so many songs were of lower-quality than previous albums? perhaps it’s just a matter of taste, or perhaps it’s as rod said back on track two, that this album is a doorway into another dimension, and the further you progress, the more mind-rattling, brain-melting concepts you come across. the album gets an average of 5.5 which is kinda disappointing. don’t think i’ll be listening to the whole thing again. thanks for reading!

[ananas-pineapple-thing]

okay here r my final thoughts on hadestown now that I have calmed down:

i liked the line “it’s a sad song but we’re gonna sing it anyway” from the moment I heard it, but after listening to the full show it really makes me think about why exactly someone would listen to something they know is tragedy again? and why I myself, specifically, am 100% down to relisten to the whole thing again? I think, when we listen to tragedies, they don’t make you feel anything more than something happy does. and also media that creates sad endings just for shock value and because happy endings are perceived as childish is actually kind of harmful. With Hadestown, the tragedy is already understood because of the myth it’s based off of, so the challenge for the creators was to make the tragic ending more than just sad for the sake of sad. And they succeeded! The tragedy throughout the show and the end is always paired hand in hand with hope and a message of the resilience of the human spirit. This makes the ending meaningful and the whole story worthwhile!! I’d listen to it again because of the strong sense of hope despite everything interwoven in the show! Even in the horribly tragic ending, there’s hope for Persephone & Hades and hope for the workers in the Hadestown. I think it’s wonderful that it could deliver so hard in commentary on tragedy and hopeful human spirit at the same time!!

everyone’s voice is so good and distinct!! shout out to Hades for genuinely freaking me out (he sounds like a Disney villain!), Eurydice for having so much emotion in her voice all the time, and the fates for sounding so cool

my favorite songs are wait for me, wait for me reprise, uhhh whatever that super cute song where they talked about going home together was called (too lazy to google), all the chants, and wedding song (which I’ve mentioned in like. every other post :P)

since I love it so much I’m going to talk about wedding song!!! leave this post while u can!! also I’m listening to it right now lol. first of all, disclaimer, i usually don.t really like romances in anything because 9/10 times they (usually white and/or straight ones) are less based on genuinely loving each other and appreciation, but some weird sort of resentment and “fiery” arguing? which is supposed to be cute? anyways Eurydice and Orpheus avoided that trap and i love that about them. they had obvious chemistry and even before the whole “going to hell to pick up my wife! >:|” thing you could tell how much they loved each other. and one of the things about the show is how very opposite Orpheus and Eurydice are in how they see the world, which is partly what leads to the conflict in the first place. (and leads to her doom in the end, which I wrote another post about) Wedding song is a brilliant first example of how their dynamic is gonna be and how their personalities will mesh together under the guise of a goofy flirty song. Eurydice is talking about very real concerns (and using the wedding as an example) like food, money, and shelter (does the wedding bed count as this? pretend), and Orpheus's reply is complete faith in the song providing something they need pretty much immediately, despite having not finished it yet. But he does believe this! and he’s trying impress her which is just. so cute. and her awe at what the song does and her transition from doubt to genuine excitement at the end is so sweet! (who else saw that 40 second clip of the OG cast singing this? the way she bounces towards him at the end ;–; I’m emo) this song is also a perfect example of, despite their drastically different views, they want to support and love each other! they’re so sweet

I love the whole vibe of the album. it sounds so lively and I love all the harmonies!!

“don’t come on too strong“ “who are you?“ “the man that’s gonna marry you!!!!” > every other couple’s first meeting

I love the entire concept so much that I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s like I found something that caters exactly to my interests and what I find to be important messages all in just 2 hours. just. this whole story y’all. I love the concept of hadestown and this modernish take on everything and how it’s sorta based on the 1929 crisis and all the things about poverty and freedom and love and hope and tragedy and all the “wait for me”s and ughhhhhhh

I’m so impressed that I feel like I got so much without seeing the show and just listening to it!! Obviously seeing it would be more fulfilling but I really don’t feel like I’m missing anything!!

the fact that Hades's disconnect with Persephone was partly due to him creating an industrial revolution to impress a garden/springtime goddess and how he tried to make it hot with lamps because she misses the sun and how he picks her up early because he doesn’t have the trust in her that Eurydice and Orpheus share and how the song that set the world back in tune is a song about them— this show is very smart and I don’t have enough brain cells to analyze this properly!!!

everything about the workers and how Hades manipulated them and how Orpheus got them to question their situation and how they put all their hope in Eurydice and Orpheus making it out :’(

I love how everyone had such a distinct personality!!

I think Eurydice is always (usually) played by a WOC? I think it’s nice how they have someone like her as the prominent love interest in a show that’s on Broadway

Shoutout to the YouTube commenters who explained that Orpheus was getting beaten up (I want u all to know that my phone just corrected that to eBaying) during papers. poor dude

I love all the la la la melodies!! I mean during the chant I was internally screaming at him to stop la la la-ing and get his wife some food tho >:[

someone pls tell me what the flower is suppose to symbolize and when he gets it!! is it just a cute gift for Eurydice or is it something else? the internet has informed me that it is either a carnation or a poppy, is there any official info on this?

Uhhh that’s all I think? shoutout to the anon who told me about the tony’s performance!!! you’re amazing thank you!!

also thanks to anyone who gave me info about it!!!

[rivetgoth]

This is gonna be long, apologies in advance. Just wanted to type something up properly about all of my thoughts now that I'm home and decompressing 🖤

--

Last year, I took a late night flight back to LAX on the Monday after Cold Waves VII. My signed VIP poster was the most valuable possession I could possibly imagine, and I was scared of it getting crushed in my luggage, so I brought it as a carry on. I knew that if I listened to ohGr I would start crying, and I didn’t want to cry in the airport, so I waited, clutching my little rolled up poster that Ogre and Paul Barker and the whole ohGr crew had signed. Ogre had drawn a little heart and written “hugZ and much support Artistically.” I had picked a spot in the very back of the plane, because I thought it would be less crowded, and I was right. I had no one else around me, my row was empty aside from myself. I’ll never forget the feeling of looking out the window as the plane took off and I watched Chicago get smaller and smaller and turn to little specks of light in the night, clutching my poster like it was all I had to live for. I put on Sunnypsyop and cried myself to sleep.

There’s so much I want to say about Cold Waves and I don’t even know how to start, so I guess I can start at the beginning. Last year on September 20th I flew to Chicago for the first time in my life and met up with one of my best friends in the world, Trigger (Sylvan), to see Nivek Ogre, my biggest hero, and meet him for a second time (I was meeting both Trigger AND Ogre for a second time, actually). It was a life changing event for me. For starters, seeing Ogre is always life changing. The love and care and passion and kindness that he puts out into the world makes the whole planet a better place and lights up my life in a way that nothing else ever has. He’s the heart of the industrial scene for me, because it was through him that I got into this music and found this community. When I saw him, not only did he remember me from when we had seen each other before a year earlier, but he encouraged me not to give up on my art, telling me that not only was I talented but that he could see the work I put into what I did and could tell I was improving. He told me not to give up and gave me so many hugs and he drew me a puppy to get tattooed. Ogre was currently nursing a recently-broken jaw but he was in the cheeriest highest spirits, he was as warm and loving as ever and so excited about the tour, and he put on one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. His strength and resilience and passion for his art inspired me so much, and getting to see him alongside Trigger and even be able to tell Ogre that we met each other through our shared love of his work made the whole thing even more special. Over the course of the festival I also got to see the rest of the ohGr crew, Paul Barker, and Jared Louche, who were all incredibly sweet and fantastic. Many of them have been people I’ve had the honor to speak with either online or off various times since then and have served such a crucial place in my life as role models and figureheads of a community that means so much to me.

The whole weekend was incredible. Trigger and I made so many memories that I’ll cherish forever. I still laugh over so many little things. The show was amazing. I don’t know if I could ever envision a lineup cooler than Cocksure, Lead Into Gold, Chemlab, and ohGr back to back. So many heroes, so many legends. I was living in the middle of nowhere at the time and had missed a lot of concerts due to being unable to get to them. I was seeing people like Chris Connelly and Paul Barker for the very first time. I thought I would never see Chemlab, and yet there I was seeing them among so many incredible people who I had looked up to for so long. So many people who had changed my life and saved my life. But everyone was amazing, and I not only got to see other legendary incredible bands like Front Line Assembly (CYBERAKTIF!!), I got to discover new bands I relisten to all the damn time like ACTORS. I felt connected with everyone in the audience and I got to meet a ton of cool people who were so friendly and so accepting of me. Jim Marcus got on stage and gave a talk about how Cold Waves and the industrial community at large is like a family and I really believed it and felt it and knew it was true.

The craziest thing about Cold Waves VII, though, was the fact that I literally moved out of my parents’ house and to Los Angeles the very next day. When I landed in LAX in the middle of the night I didn’t go home – I met my parents at a little motel where they had brought all of my stuff, sitting in boxes in the back of their minivan. I had packed it all up before I left for Chicago. The next morning we moved everything into my dorm room and my parents left, and there I was living in Los Angeles, alone, away from my family for the first time in my life, at age nineteen. I had just been accepted to UCLA late that spring and classes started the Thursday after the festival. It was a huge change and a huge new beginning and I was so scared of what was to come. I was scared of being alone and I didn’t know if I’d be able to survive in LA. I didn’t know if I’d belong, if I’d be able to succeed, if I would be able to fit in anywhere. Cold Waves served as the opening to a whole new chapter of my life and I was able to leave the completely magical world of the Metro and fly to a brand new home and start my life with the knowledge that I had been surrounded just a day before by countless people who understood me and supported me and who felt the same love and passion as I did. The following month I got Ogre’s puppy tattooed, and I began going to local goth clubs and concerts and meeting up with various people and making friends nearby. It was a slow process that’s probably ongoing forever, but I feel like it all traces back to Cold Waves as a catalyst for a reminder that I would never be alone.

This year’s Cold Waves was a weekend I’ll hold onto for the rest of my life. With my venture into the Los Angeles goth scene and the world around it I met another one of my closest best friends, Angel, who’s now also my roommate. Funny enough I owe Ogre to our meeting as well, because our first conversation was about her going to see him. This time, she flew to Chicago with me to meet up with Trigger. Being able to add a third person to our little entourage was so fun and cool. I love both Angel and Trigger so so much and it was so cool to see our little group grow bigger and I felt like there was an instant ability to connect through shared jokes and shared passions and shared understandings. On the night that we got there, after a little bit of initial awkwardness just as we figured out what we were doing and settled into a workable dynamic between the three of us (and found food after a day of accidentally starving ourselves in the way one does when traveling), we ended up staying up until five in the morning doing “Chemlab karaoke” in our hotel room until we received a noise complaint (oops). Then we had to get up less than three hours later so we didn’t miss breakfast, and spent the whole first day of the festival running on about two and a half hours of sleep and weird tasting  hotel bananas. It was an amazing bonding experience and that night alone was some of the most fun I can ever remember having, just being able to hang out with two of my best friends and scream the lyrics to music we loved, so excited for what was to come. I was able to prove that I know EVERY lyric to “Jesus Christ Porno Star” before the noise complaint forced us to shut the hell up.

From here, I don’t even know how to start. How do I even begin to talk about the next four nights? For one, everything was perfect in a way that I didn’t know was possible. Absolutely everything went perfectly as planned. Everything worked out. It felt like we had entered a dimension where nothing bad could happen. Quickly discarding our failed attempt at continental breakfast, we got into a daily ritual of waking up, getting ready, loitering at the Starbucks by the Metro for a few hours, and then heading to the venue early enough that we were guaranteed a spot at the front of the theatre every single night (we didn’t do much Chicago sightseeing… we needed to sleep in with how late we were staying up each night, hehe). On the very first night Jared spotted us in line and came over to give us big hugs and say hi!! That was amazing, because we’d been looking forward to hugging Jared all year. And that was one of MANY to come!! We got to be front and center when Curse Mackey came on stage, who we’d been looking forward to since the release of his first solo album earlier this year. The album is completely fantastic as was his performance. Trigger and I had such a blast being able to scream along to every single song. When we yelled out “WE LOVE YOU CURSE MACKEY” he called back “I love you too!”, and he grabbed our hands so many times during the show. And then… fucking CHEMLAB!!!! Easily one of the best shows I’ve ever witnessed. It was so fucking perfect. The absolute chaos of the beach balls, Jared’s grand entrance, Curse’s return to the stage, the music, the paint, the feathers, Jared spitting water at us until we were covered in his spit, and then Adrian Halo, another friend I’ve made in LA who I love, was pulled onto the stage for the finale. And Jared gave Angel the painting he made on stage! I felt like I was going to cry just watching it all. It was so fun, so exciting, so thrilling. I never wanted it to end. After the show we got to meet up with Curse and Jared and they were both so unbelievably nice. It felt like talking to old friends. There was immediate acceptance of us as fans and as people. I can’t thank either of them enough for the kindness they showed. They made me feel like I belonged there and I mattered there and I was apart of something.

…And we WERE apart of something. We got to witness so much greatness. We got to cry in the front of the audience when Severed Heads ended their final song of their final set. We got to experience the raw, primal, intense excitement the moment Paul started blaring classic Ministry tracks from his Min-Dub Soundsystem. Acumen vs 16Volt were so fucking fun and cool and their backing footage at the end absolutely made me cry. Light Asylum was amazing and her return to the stage with Test Dept. (also totally mindblowing and so INDUSTRIAL) was so epic – As was her Leigh Bowery shirt, which was awesome (I love Leigh Bowery!). Every single band stood out and did something interesting, fun, engaging, creative, cool, etc. It felt like I was apart of something real and this community had carved a very real space for itself in the world of music and art. I got to meet in person people who I’ve known online for ages. People I’ve only ever chatted with through Instagram DMs and Facebook comments ran up to me and we immediately hugged and started talking and it was perfectly natural. We clicked immediately because we knew that we were all here for the same things. I got to make new friends while waiting in line or waiting for the show to start in the theatre. It felt like every single day I was making new friends or meeting up with old friends. I finally got to meet Jim Marcus in person and thank them for the times that they’ve been a pivotal role model for me in my life and give them the huge hug they deserve. I have so many memories that I’ll hang onto for the rest of my life.

I worry about being alone a lot in my life. Not necessarily physically alone – If anything, I love a lot of solitude and I’m not always very sociable. I’m definitely more introverted than extroverted typically. But I worry a lot about a more deep-seated loneliness, especially as an artist. I’ve always been drawn to artistic groups in history that functioned as, well, groups. Andy Warhol’s Factory and the New Romantic Blitz Kids have been interests of mine for a long time because I’m so fascinated in the idea of artists being able to form a community and be connected, even when there is a fallout or things don’t always go perfectly. I’ve struggled more than I care to admit with a sensation throughout my life of not belonging or fitting in with anyone anywhere. I’m good enough at putting on a friendly attitude and people tend to like me, it’s not even that I end up a social outcast. It’s internal, an inwards fear that no one will ever be able to understand me and people like me with the same passions as I don’t truly exist. But Cold Waves proves that they do. People “like me” in every type of way really do exist. It was completely amazing to be able to meet so many people, to be able to strike up conversations with just about anyone, to meet up with new friends and old friends and feel connected to so many human beings around me, all from different walks of life, from different parts of the country or even world, with different stories and hopes and dreams, but we all could be connected for that weekend to our shared love of industrial music and our shared love for Jamie Duffy and Chicago and everything that this subculture has built. The musicians themselves accepted us so quickly as apart of their world. We were more than just fans, there was a real exchange of energy and passion between creator and audience happening, a connection between everyone in the Metro.

On the last day of Cold Waves I wore a pig costume, partly because I love PIG and had been looking forward to seeing Raymond live since I saw him tour with Killing Joke the year before, but also partly just because I fucking adore pigs (the animal) and thought it would be fun. It was goofy and I almost didn’t do it because I was worried people would think I was stupid, but I love the idea of dressing up and wearing fun costumes and I wanted Raymond to see! It ended up being the perfect ending to the festival and it tied everything together so well. Everyone loved it. So many people complimented it and took pictures of me or with me. I’ve seen Instagram posts from strangers talking about me, mentioning the “devoted young fan in the pig nose in the front row.” I’ve seen Facebook posts that mention me. It sounds conceited, but it’s not that I care about popularity or attention, honestly – Most of these people will never even know my name. It was just so fun to be able to dress up in a fun way to support music that I love and represent something that means a lot to me and have such a hugely positive reaction, all these people who love it and accept and embrace it. Raymond reaching down to poke my pig nose during the show was the absolute highlight of the night, and one of the big highlights of Cold Waves altogether. I had a stranger come up to me after the show and say, “You know, you were a really important part of the PIG concert!” It totally made my night. I got to meet so many great people that night. I met up with Logan, who’s a total sweetheart and I’m SO glad we had the chance to connect in person after talking online, I also finally talked to another Angel who lives in LA who I had seen around and they were so so so sweet as well. I got to speak to Jim Marcus, as I said before (they’re my dad now), I got to say hi to and hug Paul Barker for the third time, I got to meet Raymond Watts for the first time and tell him about how much I love his work and hug him, I got to chat with all the people I had already met in line and in the front row the past few days for a final time. It felt so connected. I felt so connected to everyone. When Jim gave the talk on stage about our community and how much it matters and how we’re all there for each other, I really started to cry right there at the front of the audience. It’s so true in such a real and profound way that I’ve never felt anywhere else but in the industrial community. I was there hundreds, thousands of miles from my home in California, surrounded by people who were mostly more or less strangers, but I felt so connected to them and so accepted by them and I loved all of them so much and I felt like they loved me.

It’s so sad to leave Cold Waves and be back home. I love LA but there’s nothing like Cold Waves. There’s nothing like being in the Metro surrounded by everyone else like that. I can’t wait to go back. I feel so reinvigorated in my art and my projects, I want to create and I want to bring to life my own passions so that I can share them with others and give back to this community. I wish I had a way to properly thank everyone – All of the unbelievably talented musicians who are all so sweet and so humble and so amazing, all of the people in the audience who chatted with me and befriended me, all of the friends I made there and all of the friends I already had, the security guards, doormen, managers, everyone who helps keep the place together, Darkest Before Dawn, everyone who works tirelessly to put this event together each year. I don’t know where I’d be without it. Thank you so much for the most incredible time, I’m going to try to keep the spirit of Cold Waves alive in my art and creation even now as I settle back into my home. And I can’t wait to be back next year!

[mysterioussinkhole]

Binary

Statement Summary: Taken directly from Tessa Winters, a computer programmer. She seems fairly shaken when she comes in. The tape recorder catches her interest, because they’re digital rather than analog like everyone assumes. Very rudimentary but still very much digital. She goes on to talk about the nature of language and feelings and how they relate to computers. After a bit, she starts with her story. It has to do with downloading consciousness and how human minds can’t properly work within a computer. There’s a story online about a man named Sergei Ushanka, a programmer who supposedly got a degenerative disease so he worked to upload his brain to a computer. Some say he died still tapping away. Another version says he physically shoved his head into the hardware. Whatever he did, it worked. His mind was put on floppy discs, then CDs, then purely digital. It’s a popular topic for chat bots, the sort that eventually break down screaming. The only things all the bots share are a pixelated screaming face and the phrase “The angles cut me when I try to think” marking the beginning of the spooky talk. She’s not much for bots but she used to do that sort all the time. One night she was on a sketchy sort of website and found a file called UshankasDespair.exe and quickly downloaded it. It didn’t take up much memory. Most of the comments said the link didn’t work. She had a day off so she messed around online for a bit. At around 2AM she finally opened it up. It was stylized like an old-school text adventure game. She typed first: Hello. There was no response for a few seconds until it sent a bunch of symbols. It kept typing these symbols, that would change and scroll and sort of twitch. It kinda hurt to look at. Every now and then there was English like “helphelphelp” and “it peels my mind like knives”. It was spooky but not out of the realm of possibility. Her laptop’s fan started making odd noises like it was frantically pushing out air. It wouldn’t close when she tried to X out so she crashed it. The noise stopped but the text kept going. The power was off which meant it was impossible. More words like “you wanted to talk” and “hihihihihihi”. Then an image took over. Very old webcam footage of an aging man crying with pain. He was looking at a computer screen in the dark. He reached down to tear up a key and then ate it. He did the same thing again, his mouth bleeding. She shut the laptop and drunk until she passed out. When she woke up it was still dark, and her TV showing the same video. The speakers played the sound of crunching. There was no way it was possible. The man muttered things like “it was like thinking through cheese wire” and “there’s no feeling like the no feeling hurts” and “it’s cold without blood”. At one point he ate a shard of glass from the monitor. She unplugged everything in her house and went out to wander. The video was on every screen she saw until she watched the whole 17 hour thing. No one else could see it. She watched it all after a month. It was awful. At the end he laid down and said “The maze is sharp on my mind. The angles cut me when I try to think.” The back of his head was missing. Thirty minutes later it was over. It doesn’t show up anymore but it haunts her nonetheless. Jon offers to help her but he’s a bit at a loss. She thanks him anyway.

Who Did It: Spiral/End or the Bonus Power

Spooky Rating: 10/10, utterly terrifying

Archives Drama: Jon posted on a few tech focused chats and it yielded results. The statement giver got him into Gertrude’s laptop. He’s about to go into more detail when Tim comes in. He gets kinda pissy when he sees Jon is “scheming” and goes to leave, but stops when he hears Jon mumble about his tone. They get into a fight, Tim upset that Jon is still so suspicious of everyone and Jon unconvinced that the CCTV footage is definitive. Tim tells him to shut up as he really gets going. He calls him a pompous idiot. Tim goes off about how in the Archives no one seems to care or have his back. He hates that Jon acts like his experiences are the only ones that matter. When Jon needed to take control but he went off the deep end. Elias should have fired him weeks ago. Tim hates it so much. Jon asks why he hasn’t quit. Tim wants to but for some reason can’t. Jon speculates that he can’t fire him either. He apologizes but refuses to trust him or anyone else. They decide to just deal with it.

Stray Thoughts: This episode is a lot to take in, especially the second time around. I guess I’ll take it in order. This statement is one of the ones that legitimately terrifies me, which isn’t many tbh. I think tech is definitely the way to go with the new power. Jonny said something in the Q&A about the tape recorders “not being neutral” and then at the beginning of this episode there is a deliberate point made that they are digital. Hints of another power emerging and taking hold? Especially with how the Archivists didn’t start using tape recorders in their until very recently, Gertrude mostly using hers for off the books research. Jon is such an old man and I love him. That being said, Tim telling him “Fuck you” is deeply cathartic. While he’s a big reductive of his peers, he is right. Jon left them high and dry when they needed him and acts like he’s the only one that matters. He’s a wonderful character, but he is massively flawed. I really like having Tim’s perspective coming into play. His character arc is so depressing. The moment where they both realize they’ll never get out is perfect. This is the kind of episode that fires on all cylinders. You should relisten to it.

[theinquisitivej]

SteamHeart Episodes 9 & 10 Reactions

It’s been a while, but we’re here – this is SteamHeart.

Whether you’re a newcomer or a long-time fan of the alternate history fictional series New Century, there’s a lot to be excited about when it comes to this new entry. SteamHeart is a grand road trip narrative that follows a group of charming and capable characters embarking on a mission of utmost importance. It’s set in the late 19th Century in the Reunified States of America, a country that has just barely come back from the brink of total disintegration after being confronted with the Wendigo, a devastating and savage new species of uncertain origin.

         That’s the set-up, and while there’s a few extra details from the preceding New Century stories that will doubtless come up in SteamHeart as it progresses, that’s all anyone really needs to know before jumping into this new story. It may be the instalment that closes out the first phase of this overarching narrative, but SteamHeart is very considerate towards newcomers. Relistening to the first eight chapters of the audiobook through the podcast, I found that everything you need to know about the setup of this world and the pasts of all the key characters is given to you in a way you can easily digest if it’s all new. Not too much is thrown at you all at once, and the personality of the different characters narrating all of this always comes across, meaning that you not only know who they are straight away, but you also have a compelling way to find out all this information. You will not be at a disadvantage if you’ve never heard of New Century and start listening to SteamHeart.

         But, if you are curious to know more about what this story is, and what the first eight episodes are about, then I have a list of writeups you can check out if you want to take a deep dive into one of the best alternate history fantasy series out there. If appealing characters, the steampunk aesthetic, Westerns, huge anthropomorphic badass purple tigers, nail-biting human drama, survival horror/action against savage and fascinating beasts, or decent writing in general is up your alley, start listening to SteamHeart here, and then read the following articles to get you all caught up on where we were when we last left off on this story.

Since these chapters were originally published in a slightly different order before the definitive edition of Secret Rooms was a thing, the titles of these articles may not reflect how they are currently ordered or titled in SteamHeart.

‘Chapter One: The Fall’, ‘Chapter Two: Sharpshooters’, and ‘Chapter Three: Last Survivor’

‘Chapter Four: The Subtle Engineer’, ‘Chapter Five: The Starlit Eyes’, and ‘Chapter Six: The Shadow in the South’ 

‘Chapter Seven: Return of the Hunter’ and ‘Chapter Eight: Armor’ 

         So, after finishing Let Them Go, reexperiencing Secret Rooms in its best form, we have returned to SteamHeart. We’re back in – Let’s ride.

 Chapter Nine: Eight Dresses

You can listen to the episode here. 

Preparations are underway for the ball that will introduce Team Steam, the new name for the group going on this expedition, to the general public. We get a brief discussion on the stifling world of formal women’s fashion of the time period. Despite the Reunified States being an even harsher place to live than the America of our world in the 19th Century, keeping up appearances is evidently still a necessary duty for anyone dealing in politics or public engagement. There may only be one dress maker left in Washington, but their services are nevertheless still required, so society hasn’t entirely moved past unnecessary decadence. The whole thing seems ridiculous and uncomfortable to Abigail. She reflects on the excessive and dangerous lengths people go to in order to put together a finished ballroom dress, and when she’s pushed into the pink monstrosity and the suffocatingly tight orange dress, this insane world of fashion and Abigail seem incompatible with one another. It’s cathartic to see her rip the orange dress and talk about buying and burning the shop down once she returns from the mission a rich and famous hero. Still, Abigail is aware that the mood has changed after she vents her frustrations, noting that whatever playful levity had been there had been sapped away by her behaviour. There’s no dramatic altercation, but the development of the scene does echo those moments in life where spirits flare up and all of a sudden the easy-going atmosphere of the situation has dissipated without our meaning it to.

         We move on to a scene with some really solid characterisation of Annie and a wonderful moment shared between her and her husband Frank Butler. Annie is still turning over in her head the weight of responsibility that has been put on her by Director Arlington. She has been given a direct order to execute her charge if the situation calls for it, and the possibility of that scenario coming to pass is messing her sense of surety in her own judgement. She has no idea what tiny decision might set off a chain of events that means she has to make that call, and that much anxiety would make anyone susceptible to indecision. It could explain why Annie seemed particularly upset in the previous scene when Abigail was being deliberately difficult with Truth; Annie doesn’t want Abigail to be butting heads, because one day that could reach a point where the two of them will fall out to such an extent that Annie will either not be able to make a clearly thought out decision, not be able to properly protect Abigail, or even be forced to follow her orders and execute her. Annie made a promise to Katherine Holloway to look after James and Abigail, and she must be feeling torn up inside to know that she may one day have to break her promise in the worst possible way.

         But bless Frank, he lifts the situation up in just the right way. Giving Annie the dress and the means for her to make all the changes she actually wants for her very own dress shows just how well he knows her. Frank knows that Annie can sew, he knows what kind of dress she would want, and he knows that having something she can work on and control right now will do her the world of good when so many things feel out of control. The performances of Laureta Sela and Spencer Leeb do hit just the right tone of tenderness and genuine joy that their respective characters feel when they’re in each other’s company. Seeing this perfect moment that these two people who love each other get to enjoy is profoundly touching. Don’t you dare harm them Alex, I know you’re thinking about it. AH- DON’T.

         We transition to another tender moment of a husband and wife enjoying a secluded minute to themselves as Sarah and Thomas Arlington get ready for the ball. Sarah recalls the effort that she, Truth, and Harry had gone through to reconvince Thomas that it makes the most sense for Harry to go on the mission with the others, even if his paternal protectiveness and general wariness of danger on all sides makes this a difficult decision for him. We see Thomas exhibit his characteristic mistrust of the world when he lays Sarah’s bullet proof jacket on the bed, asking her to wear it as a precaution and a favour to him. If Thomas had it his way, he would enclose himself and the people that matter to him in the most airtight, perfect suit of armour he could find. The events of Arlington make it easy to see why he feels this way.

         But Sarah isn’t Thomas, and his gesture presents her with a dilemma that she has to seriously consider. Wearing the armour is a statement, and even if its disguise as a civilian jacket means that very few people will realise she’s making it, she has to decide if she’s comfortable knowing that she chose to make that statement. Sarah wants to trust people – it’s an elemental part of who she is, as represented by Sarah’s remark after her mind goes to the many outfits in her wardrobe, as she says “not all of which went with this jacket of mine”. This jacket is a part of her wardrobe, but it’s not compatible with every outfit she would normally wear, and I would argue it’s not entirely compatible with who she wants to be. This time, she resigns herself to wearing the armour, but she resolves with a strong determination that she will step outside without armour another day. It’s a small decision that provokes an introspective moment that explores meaningful questions of trust and our unspoken interactions with the rest of the world. And yes, it does have a profound resonance for those who have a strong attachment to Arlington.

         The epilogue of this episode tells us that Truth fantasised as a child that she would grow up to be Queen of America. It’s a cute fact about Truth’s childhood that provides a small glimpse into a more playful side of her character. It also provides context as to why she has such a head for politics and public engagement. She’s played with the idea of leading a nation her whole life, and the fact that the childhood version of her wanted to be Queen of a monarch-less country is indicative of a romanticised vision of what a leader could and should be. It’s a surprising thing to learn about the pragmatic, more calculating version of her that we know.

 Chapter Ten: The April Ball

You can listen to the episode here.

I love those episodes or chapters of ongoing fiction where we get to see the main characters go to a party. Cutting between different individuals or pairings to see how the different personalities are handling themselves in an environment we don’t usually get to see them in can be a source of memorable humour and especially enjoyable character moments. It can also lead to some meaningful moments of introspection that can come out in a unique way; sometimes there are those strange, lucid moments that sneak up on you when you’re at a party where you suddenly become very reflective or melancholy. It doesn’t always have to be a party either. ‘The Ember Island Players’ is one of my favourite episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender because it’s a respite for the main group right before things are going to get more intense than they ever have before, so it’s a chance for both the characters and the writers of the show to have a little bit of fun before they close out their journey. I bring this up because I get a little bit of a sense of that with ‘Chapter Ten: The April Ball’, especially due to its name which suggests the ball is a spring-time event, a season of vitality and optimism when things are on the up and up. Team Steam is going to be heading out on a grand journey that will be full of perils, so it makes sense both within the context of the story and from a structural point of view to have this ball where we get to see our characters at a party.

         Having said that, it’s not a fun filled jubilant occasion for everyone. Raven’s opening narration catches new readers up on the current state of class divisions in the Reunified States, going over how, when the Wendigo was at the doors of the people of America, high social standings didn’t do much to help you out, and they certainly didn’t give you a lot of skills to fall back on when you were part of little pockets of survivors and had to find a way to contribute to the group. A large percentage of the upper class didn’t make it. Even so, this ball has brought out the last remnants of that world, along with those who have risen up and established themselves at the top of the ladder in this new society. The atmosphere is hardly convivial, and several members of the main cast don’t appear to be at ease in this setting. Abigail feels out of place and sees James, who looks completely right for the occasion, as her lifeline, but is denied this when they’re separated. Harry finds that there’s a little too much information to take in, managing to stay afloat when James, sympathetic to her feelings in this situation, walks her through the steps (both for the dance and how to get by when surrounded by this many people). Most heart-breaking of all, Jeremy and Donald have been partnered with other people and, for all-intents-and-purposes, have been forbidden by Truth to dance together or show any signs that they’re a couple. It’s painful to hear about Jeremy putting on a smile while barely keeping back his tears. The injustice of society working against people being with who they love if it doesn’t fit their standards is eloquently summarised by Harry’s remark “it’s such a shame they won’t let us dance with who we really want to”. A perfect summation of denied love. Even Truth, who has an eye for navigating her way through these parties, addresses the fact that this is not a place for our characters to relax. She briefs the other female members of the group on their approach, telling them that they’re here to make connections and work on making the best impression of the group and the mission they can – “There’s a time for fun and games, and it’s not at parties”. The mood of this episode is playful at times, and there are moments where you’re happy for this chance to rest before things get dangerous. But it also shows why these settings can be a source of anxiety, and why putting on a show for the world can be soul crushing.

         One of the most intense scenes at the ball is when Abigail dances with Arlington. Hearing her thoughts as she struggles to get a read on him shows how striking the effect he has on people is. He has a quiet fire that is frightening and magnetic all at once. Abigail even confesses that she sees many of the qualities in him that attracts her to James. The two men do share a calculating disposition that values logic which seems cold at first, but it hides a passionate resolve that flares to the surface when it counts. Arlington moves with a stoic surety that compels Abigail to follow his steps as they dance, which acts as a poetic metaphor of his approach to politics and his efforts to lead this country. For the time being, Arlington is leading this dance, and the country, in a way which seems correct and will likely get them through to the end of all this. But he and Abigail talk of the desire to deliberately put a foot wrong, just to see what will happen. Arlington is conducting himself exactly as he knows he should, but there is a part of him that wants so badly to kick the table over and meet the people he sees as enemies on his terms. When Abigail asks how long they can continue this dance, he answers “as long as we can” with sad, tired resignation. I find Arlington to be one of the most fascinating characters in all of New Century.

         There are so many pieces of great writing and enjoyable character moments peppered throughout this chapter, so to finish off I’ll quickly go through some of my favourite bits. Abigail noticing Thomas and Sarah Arlington’s armoured jackets and wondering what they expect to happen and feeling worried is a decent payoff to the end of the previous episode when Sarah deliberated over whether to wear the jacket or not, showing us that she was right to think about the message such an action conveys. The footman announcing each of the main characters and his occasional embarrassment and frustration at being interrupted is a fun to watch, and Abigail’s commentary on how each person is received and how they conduct themselves speaks volumes of their different characters. When James and Abigail share a mischievous laugh together afterwards, it’s absolutely adorable. I ship it. Later, Abigail meets the blusterous buffoon Dutch Van Tassel, and she describes him as having “a great big bushy beard”. Now, this might just be a result of having watched this film a dozen or so too many times, but hearing that statement makes me wonder if that’s intended to be a reference to Hot Fuzz. Abigail gets bailed out from her conversation with Dutch by- oh sweet, it’s Li! She was a cool addition to the cast in Arlington, and I’m definitely glad to have her quiet, steely temperament back. Annie and Frank have the good fortune to be able to dance with the person they love and openly display that connection to the world, but they’re also compassionate enough to help those who aren’t having as great a time. I’m glad that Annie helps Jeremy get close to Donald, and when Frank speculates that Harry has feelings for James it did make sense, as I had similar suspicions. I continue to enjoy Frank and Harry’s relationship, as he’s a good friend to her and knows just how to word things. I’m pleased that Abigail gets to meet Nathanial Curtis and that she gets along with him. He’s an accomplished and immensely respectable man who nevertheless has the humble nobility of an old friendly soldier, so it’s no wonder that Abigail likes him immediately, especially with her father being a soldier as well. The episode and the party conclude with Abigail stepping outside for some air and meeting Raven, and his honesty is refreshing, even if his attitude means he isn’t the smoothest conversationalist. The instruments finish playing their music, and the applause signals the end of the episode.

I do love a party.

         Chapter Ten’s epilogue tells us that Thomas and Sarah have twelve days left, referring to the closing events of Arlington. But I have to wonder whether the wording means that the significance of the statement is that they each have twelve days left, or that they have twelve days left of being together. Either way, it’s an immensely sad thought.

[thatgirlonstage]

Podcast Challenge: September Recap

The Adventure Zone

Current

That new liveshow was everything. What a blessing.

I have been fucking WAITING for Beacon to pull some kind of shit like this, I am absolutely DYING to see how this plays out

Adventures in New America *NEW SHOW*

Current

The very first episode of this just came out on September 28th, and I’m not ready to make a final judgement on how much I like it, but I’m definitely intrigued

The Bright Sessions

Current

I really hope this show really does make it onto TV/Netflix/Hulu/wherever, because I think they could take time to explore more of the worlds and the different types of atypicals and I have adored these Bright Sides episodes, I’d be so down to see more of everything about this world 

Bubble *NEW* *CAUGHT UP*

Started listening and binged the first season!

A lot of potential that is severely undercut by an over-reliance on exposition, a script clearly still intended for the TV pilot it originally was rather than being truly adapted for an audio medium, and a rushed expansion of the world before properly establishing what they already have

I have hopes that they may take their time with S2 and improve, now that they have a better idea what they’re doing

Can I Pet Your Dog?

Episode 11-21, out of 160 episodes currently

There was a weird out of order episode that’s gotten switched with another one somehow? I just noticed because the guest was the wrong person from the title, and they were talking about it being December when the episode was dated to October. But the show continues to be cute and fun and a very nice way to start my day before I go walk dogs :D

Conversations with People Who Hate Me

Episode “Bigot Scum”-“Nauseating” | 21/23 episodes currently

I was so close to catching up this month and I really wanted to but I didn’t quite make it. DEFINITELY next month though

I like Dylan doing the mediated discussions, they’re interesting and they break up the pattern

Critical Role

Just episode 7 this month. Look, what can I tell you, I can’t listen to this one on the go because I watch it on YouTube instead of playing it from my podcast app and I was like. Never at home this month.

Ear Hustle

Current

Season 3 started!

It seems a bit weird to break these up into “seasons”, since there’s no real overarching focus or theme for each one, it’s just a way to collect the episodes and for the creators to take a hiatus from time to time. But, regardless, I’m happy it’s back.

The Flop House

Episode #52-#71, out of 267 episodes currently

I am very, very slowly learning to distinguish Dan and Stuart’s voices. The entire “find Dan a hook” thing helped, lol.

It Makes a Sound *NEW* *CAUGHT UP*

Started listening and binged the first season!

Unfortunately I’m... really not a fan of any of the characters? Deirdre is painfully irresponsible and really, REALLY needs help getting out of her fantasy world, and the rest of them I just don’t like very much

The story has some passing interest and the music is good. Will definitely check out the album they release, like Bubble I’m hoping they may hit their stride more in S2.

This whole story did feel a little like set up, like they were spending the season trying to get to that video at the end. Obviously any story with a defined climax is always “heading” there, but I really didn’t feel like I was taken on a journey so much as getting an explanation for how this group of people ended up singing and spraying graffiti in a clubhouse. Parts of it were quite clearly padded for time, to the point of being irritating. But hopefully they might have ideas for what comes after that are more interesting

The McElroy Brothers Will Be in Trolls 2

Current

HOLY SHIT THE MCELROY BROTHERS WILL BE IN TROLLS 2

This is actually happening and I’m never going to stop screaming

My Brother, My Brother, and Me

Episode 163-194, out of 426 episodes currently

The introduction of guestperts!!!! Including LIN FREAKING MANUEL MIRANDA (yes, I knew they were friends, I know about the MBMBAM bits in Hamilton, I’m just never going to be over it)

So close to 200...

My Dad Wrote a P*rno *CAUGHT UP*

Current/Caught up this month!!!

Went from S2E11 all the way to the current episode, which was. Oh boy. It’s so much bad porn, lmao, but it’s so funny.

Now I get to live through the clithangers with everyone

HOW IS THERE ACTUAL PLOT AND FUCKING SPIES NOW????? HOW DO I ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS???

The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air

Didn’t listen to anything this month, I have the Imaginary Symphony episodes downloaded from before they deleted them so I have been meaning to listen to them, I just haven’t gotten to it

Sawbones

Episode “Alcoholism”-“Phrenology” | 34/245 episodes currently

I am still thinking about Albert Einstein finding cosmic sex energy in a box. I will continue to think about that until the end of time. I will find Albert Einstein in the afterlife and I will make him tell me about it

Shmanners

Episode “Office Etiquette”-“Handshakes and Business Cards” | 17/133 episodes currently

I continue to be infinitely more interested in the history or cultural difference aspect than any of the advice they give, but I do see episodes popping up more recently in the feed about things like “Pirates” so I’m holding out to be much more excited for those

I saw the next Shmanners episode I had to listen to was “Office Etiquette” while I was binging MDWAP and laughed because. Oh man.

Shit now I need the McElroy brothers to be guests on MDWAP and read a chapter with Jamie, James, and Alice. Can you IMAGINE the chaos 

The Thrilling Adventure Hour

Episode #101-#110, out of 220 where the podcast ended plus specials

Well I woke up this morning to find the vast majority of episodes deleted from my feed and behind a paywall, which I am pretty fucking pissed off about, not gonna lie. I donated to their Patreon because getting to listen to the rest of it is worth $5 for a few months to me, but they haven’t even uploaded the whole back catalog there yet, so I don’t know when I might be able to listen to more

I’m excited it’s coming back but that is thoroughly overshadowed by how angry I am about this

Welcome to Night Vale

Continuing my relisten!

Currently posting reviews for each episode as I listen to them, see the ones from this month here: The Man in the Tan Jacket | Street Cleaning Day | The Phone Call | Valentine | The Traveler

Within the Wires

Current

We started Season 3!!!

I LOVE S3 so far, I really like the more overtly political angle and I think it has the potential to reveal a lot about the world

We’re already getting hints and nods to S1 and S2, I can’t wait to see what else happens

Wonderful!

Episode 18-23, out of 52 episodes currently

This show is kind of growing on me. It’s a good cooking show. It’s very soothing, in a way

Previously Completed Podcasts: Alice Isn’t Dead

[flammene]

5 things and some ramblings on ep. 81

Best thing about Wednesday night? YEEES, it’s the Magnus Archives, and I hate the middle of the week a bit less... Well... we can say the first episode of Season 3... happened. The last few hours before it was released I was just all nerves, I was finishing some reading, but it was really hard to concentrate, I was a bit too excited. And then it was here, and it said it was a statement from Jon. I’d hoped the 1st episode of the season would be his statement, but I hadn't given much thought to what kind of statement that would be. And for it to be the story of his first encounter with the supernatural... well, I was beyond excited by that point. 

It also means I only managed to fall asleep by 5 a.m., so if I'm not very comprehensible now, you know what to blame. 

There was so much there that I probably need a few more relistens to go through the whole paradigm of reactions properly, because the first (out of two, at the moment) time I listened my brain just went from 'I'm scared of how well-written it is' to 'actually scared now' to 'oh wait how does that work' to 'so sorry for what's happened to you' to 'well but your suffering is written really beautifully'. 

So, five random things that I took away from it. Spoilery spoilers below.

1.  'A guest for Mr Spider'. WHAT A DELIGHTFUL TITLE. Among my favourites for sure. I should squash together titles of all the episodes that mention spiders sometime and look what happens. 

While I’m at it, let me talk about the Spider for a minute. Is the Spider just a hungry thing that will devour anything? Or almost anything, considering that Mr Spider doesn't eat flowers. Or is it more about the web? What about people like Annabelle Cane? Of all the entities the Spider confuses me the most, largely because of its assumed name. All of the others seem to have their nature or their purpose reflected in what we have taken to calling them. The Spider, meanwhile, is just the spider, it bears the name of an animal, a concrete noun that doesn't explicitly stand for any concept. Maybe we've yet to find a name that fits it more accurately than just the physical way it manifests. Or maybe... I don't know. Because we still don't know what it wants or what it really does. Also, the fact that 'What do the spiders want?' is a hashtag is hilarious to me. I can visualise the spider book very easily. Funnily enough, while Jon did not get the feeling of having read it before, I feel like I've seen it. I wonder if it's just me — I've actually encountered quite a few similar-looking books with black-and-white covers and those kinds of illustrations, though most of the books were poetry (and didn't depict spiders). I think. Still, maybe not. The descriptions were very detailed, and very affecting. It could've just been their vividness, I suppose.

2. I did imagine Jon a bit older. Considering I couldn't possibly know what he looked like, it probably should be attributed to 'something in his demeanour' in this case. The fact that he is apparently just a couple of years older than Martin took me a few hours to get used to (it still feels kind of weird!). And while I didn't have any specific headcanon for what his family was like, aside from 'distant', I did have some headcanons of how his life could have been up to the point when we met him as the Archivist. Time to re-imagine now! 

Also, now I'm more curious about how old everyone else is and what sort of look exactly did Tim and Martin and Sasha give Jon when he first mentioned his age to them (assuming he did mention it himself). It would be interesting to put it in this perspective. 

3. I was expecting the first episode to be exposition-y, I didn't expect it to be very scary. WELL I SHOULD HAVE. Every time I think the show won't surprise me anymore, it just proves me so wondrously wrong. I'm not easily scared by stories, especially if the text is in English (I read an article once that said you’re more likely to be emotionally affected when you're dealing with something that’s in your first language, it apparently has to do with how the language was studied or picked up). The last one that managed to truly shake me was Fatigue. Well, this was at times almost worse. (What I mean to say, of course, is: absolutely literally stunning). 4. When I heard the other voice, I knew immediately it was Georgie. Not to give myself too much credit, of course, I mean, there weren't that many options, but still. I wonder what their relationship is like. I wonder what she is like. From what we've heard it seems to me like she fits Melanie's description of who the industry is comprised of ('Sceptics pretending to be believers pretending to be sceptics...' — 'I think the word you're looking for is charlatans'), but she sounds really interesting. And she's not pushy, which means I instantly like her as a character. 5. When I relistened, I picked up something I hadn't noticed the first time, what with all the emotions and terror. Jon mentions to Georgie (who runs a podcast called What the Ghost) a familiar group of things, may I say, which include money, socks and apparently rubbish mattresses. It's hilarious and I have to transcribe it. 'I suppose you are rolling in all that sock money. Up to your eyeballs in mattresses?'   'Oh, don't... They did send me one, you know. Oh, it was dreadful, I couldn't sleep on it. I managed three days before my back gave out. I've still got it somewhere in the guest room if the other one is not up to your exacting standards'. 

And if I’m to finish off with a TBT reference, then what I have to say is: the best thing The Black Tapes could’ve done for me is introducing me to The Magnus Archives. Last winter I found a recommendation on Reddit... and it’s been the best thing in the podcasting world for me. And I can’t wait to hear more of it.

[all-the-kings-archers]

Ok Arden inspired me to relisten to Speak Now the album deluxe edition (cause I’m sad and I love speak now) so I’m just gonna type thoughts as I listen. Warning(s) beforehand, they probably do not make any sense. This is getting really long, sorry if you don’t want to read this. If you’re on the computer you can hit “J” and it should take you to the next post. Mobile users, I am SO sorry.

Those first notes of Mine felt like coming home. I love how I can hear her smile in her voice. Also I forgot how much I love her country accent, wow. “said I’ll never leave you alone” aka something I need to hear right now.

Ugh, Sparks Fly has the best intro. I don’t actually have the energy to do this properly, but this is one of my favorite songs on the album. “kiss me on the sidewalk take away the pain” reminds me of a weird dream I had this week. in a good way, obviously. Sparks Fly is so much sexier than we give it credit for.

I can’t handle Back to December right now. This is NOT fair. She sounds so small. “but this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying i’m sorry for that night“ this hits so hard “it turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you”. I legitimately cannot handle this right now, not today. It’s giving me chills, I can feel my body temperature dropping from this.

Stupid turbotax ad. I hate this stupid ad. Not all people are tax people, leave me alone. I am also not interested in stupid horror movies. I do not want to watch the invisible man. leave me alone. also neutrogena, stop. i have that face wash, and it made my skin peel.

Speak Now, hello lovely. The imagery in this is WONDERFUL, and it’s so snarky, and can you believe Taylor Swift wrote this herself? I feel like James Madison discovering the comma, sorry. “don’t you” you can tell she’s smirking. I’m a sucker for happy endings.

Dear John, you do NOT get to make an appearance now. “and I lived in your chess game but you change the rules every day” my entire life feels like this right now. It’s not your optimism to blame, please don’t blame yourself. Yeah, 19 is too young to be played with. Am I calling college John? Abso-freaking-lutely. Good for you Taylor. Go be your own fireworks. I believe in you. Wow, I am really delirious right now. “i should’ve known” to “you should’ve known” is a glow-up. do we still say glow-up? I don’t care. I still say glow-up.

Mean, hi, I need you right now. Screw you college, I don’t need the major I wanted from you! Taylor is right, someday I will be living in a big city, and all you’re ever gonna be is mean and wishing I was one of your alumni. Also stop pointing out how stupid I am, I know I have flaws. I bet they are just sitting somewhere being miserable. Every single time saying “Taylor Swift has peaked, her next album is gonna flop” and every. Single. Time. Being proven wrong. I’m so proud of her.

I hate ads. I hate ads. I hate ads. Neutrogena needs to stop bothering me. The horror movie is back. I hate horror movies. this is why I don’t listen to Spotify before bed anymore. Old Navy, finally a change of pace. Still a waste of time, but a NEW waste of time.

The Story of Us is a BOP. Oh, wait, no sad for a second. Stop making me feel things Swift, I’m using you to assist in my escapism. AND WE’RE NOT SPEAKING AND I’M DYING TO KNOW IF IT’S KILLING YOU LIKE IT’S KILLING ME YET. Next chapter is iconic. “but you held your pride like you should’ve held me” and, like, the entire bridge (which I would quote if I could type that fast) are sooooooo good. THE END?! Already?!

Never Grow Up is... a lot of feelings for right now. It’s so soft, but it’s also kind of exactly what I’m feeling right now. Like, this is me to younger me, but also for my little siblings. The fear underlying this is hitting really hard, why exactly did I pick Speak Now? The point of this was to get out of my head, not further into it. It’s always colder than you think it will be on your own. I wish I hadn’t grown up either. Stupid introspectiveness, let me enjoy this beautiful, sad, soft song.

Enchanted, how wonderful to see you. I’m just gonna let this one wrap around me like a blanket. This was my first stan song of Taylor’s. So I’m just gonna let myself feel comforted by this. “wonderstruck” is a beautiful word. Look at this desperate pining, but also simple joy and excitement, and there is so much emotional range in this song. “Please don’t be in love with someone else, please don’t have somebody waiting on you” is what made me fall in love with her music. I just love Enchanted so much.

ADS. STOP THE HORROR MOVIE ADS. Can I sue for repetitive or badly targeted ads? I wouldn’t, cause that’s a waste of money and time, but I REALLY want to know that I can if they ever push me over the edge. Honey (ad), go away.

Better Than Revenge. I can’t help but love this song. Except for the mattress line, that’s kinda... uncomfy to hear. It’s full of such smart insults, except for that one low blow (which is unfortunately the one that’s repeated). It’s still such a fun song, though. “You might have him, but I always get the last word” 

Oh, Innocent. You’re so sweet and sad, but you don’t make me sad cause you’re so hopeful and heartfelt. And so soothing too. “I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new”

Hey Haunted. It’s kinda jarring to not have it acoustic, but it’s still so GOOD. The instrumentation is ugh, and her voice is just so beautiful, and I can’t stand explaining how this makes me feel cause I can’t find words, and it’s just wonderful.

Last Kiss, aka the home of one of the best bridges of all time. ”All that I know is that I don’t know how to be something you miss” is so heartbreaking. also this is taking me several hours longer than Speak Now (deluxe edition or otherwise) is cause I need periodical breaks. The build-up before the bridge is so good. And the bridge itself I think I’ve already addressed. “just like our last...” ugh she’s so SMART

Long Live, I can tell you’re gonna make me cry and that’s not allowed. This is so nostalgic. Just, this is something that belongs on a playlist on the ride home from a tournament in 8th grade. Everyone singing (and poking fun of the one guy who was always so monotone). “for a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world” is everything that I felt back then. The energy in this song is so beautiful. “we will be remembered”

Ok, we’re on to Ours. I’m gonna be honest and say I’ve never really clicked with Ours. It’s cute, and in a way I usually enjoy, but it’s not a favorite. “people throw rocks at things that shine” is a nice line. and I like the positive message that the entire song has. The little things she loves about him are adorable to hear listed.

Is it gonna be ads? Yes it is. Great. CVS, that’s new. And now Spotify promoting itself AND Google Home.

If This Was a Movie. A song I unfortunately forget about far too often. “if this was a movie you’d be here by now” hits so hard. Just the entire feeling where you lose someone and you just want them back but it doesn’t... it just doesn’t work. yeah, that’s a feeling. “I thought you’d be here by now”

Superman... Not a favorite. But, once again, cute. “He’s complicated, irrational” I do not remember her mentioning flaws before, maybe I just need this one to grow on me. “I loved you from the very first day” is such a nice resolution to the “I loved you forever” thing from earlier (in this same song).

Back to December... but now acoustic. The first time screwed me up enough, I’m nervous. This feels somehow slower? Maybe it’s the instrumentation change, or maybe she really is going slower, but I have absolutely no complaints. It’s beautifully aching like this. It feels like they’re pulling on heartstrings, not just the strings on their instruments. Have I mentioned how much I ADORE strings instruments when played well? And all the lyrics in this song? The way everything goes super quiet for a second? I think I might like this version better than the original.

Haunted... also acoustic. I’m fairly certain that I do like this version better than the original. The heavy piano, and the violin, that’s just so nice. It’s just slightly jarring, and it makes you feel everything that this song conveys so wonderfully. Hello violins, I love you for this. Is that a piano solo? It does not get the recognition it deserves. that last “break”

Mine but pop? I’ll give it a shot. This is making it pop-y? I guess I don’t mind as much as I thought I would. And there’s something to be said for starting and ending an album with the same song (even if the second is technically a different genre) Ok, this is enjoyable. Yeah, I like this. The buildup feels a bit weird at times, but it works, and I like.

Ok. That’s it. That’s the album. Taylor deserves more awards than she has for this album. Acoustic anything deserves separate, individual awards. I think that’s all I’ve got to say about the album as a whole. This was definitely something that I needed, and I hope someone else finds it fun to read.