#but i want it to have some gold foil if i do

[bamsara]

An older piece I finally polished up and felt comfortable posting even though it's been sitting on my drive for a few months lmao.

Something something heart links. Cradled skeletal hands. Chains as wings, heaven and hell. Alt versions below from when I was testing colors:

[mercurymacaroons]

arrives 15 min late with a latte

......sup

[golbiey]

print wips for otakuthon \o/

[daisywords]

the good news: finally started* my new bookbinding project (making a sketchbook for a birthday present for my brother—I think I'm going to do some variant of a sewn boards binding if I can find some kind of card with the right weight. thinking of doing some kind of loz design or at least a sword on the cover? also I found the scraps of gold leaf I scavenged from the trash this has so much potential)

the bad news: it's 1 am and the high of starting something is making me. not tired

*folded the signatures and that's all

[audiovisualrecall]

I srsly want the book with that cover. Why am I like this. If I had waited on that book or at least looked on diff sites at the time I'd have gotten the one I wanted in the first place probably. Am I going to spend $7 to get a 2nd copy of this book? And what am I going to do with the other copy???

[gia-d]

Back in October last year, I started reading This is an Adjuration by @not-freyja.

By the time I had made it to chapter 5, I had already started typesetting this story as I read because I knew this would be one of those stories that I needed to have on my shelf.

When I finally caught up to the story at chapter 31, I begged the author to let me bind this when it was finished.

Nearly a year later, and what is probably the most important bind of my life is finally finished. Check out these glamour shots, and if you want to hear more about the actual binding process and about how this fic actually changed my life, see below.

So funny story, before I get into the technical side of this bind, but this fic actually changed my life. Not as in I was greatly emotionally moved by the story, though don't get me wrong I absolutely was, but genuinely this fic introduced me to some of the best people I have ever had to privilege of knowing (Hello Class, you know who you are 🩷), and also, it introduced me to Freyja, the incredibly talented author, who, as I type this, is curled up in bed next to me fast asleep after flying half way around the world to go on a two week long date with me.

Moral of the story folks is comment on the fics you like. You might accidentally meet the love of your life on, and I can't believe I'm saying this, AO3.

Anyways, about the bind!

This bind was a challenge from day 1. I had to do the typeset for this 300k word fic 4 times, and had to split it across 2 volumes. This was the longest fic I have ever attempted to bind, and it was so thick I couldn't get it in the paper trimmer.

To make this book as durable as possible, I attempted a few techniques. I secured it with 3 tapes, I made an Oxford hollow, I rounded the spine, I made a slipcase and I used 2.3mm boards where normally I use 1.8mm.

The slipcase is covered with embossed faux leather, buckram and plain ribbon, and lined with gold satin fabric. I've never made a slipcase before so this was an experience.

The books are covered with an emerald green silk finish bookcloth which really gave the books the luxury they deserved. I foiled custom end papers as well as every chapter title page using heat reactive transfer foil on toner ink (never again I am never doing that again omg it took days). Huge thank you to @la-sera for letting me use her artwork which helped inspire this fic!

The grey flashback chapters I had to use HTV for the border decoration and I'm very happy with how that turned out because it was so easy and straight forward, unfortunately it just wasn't viable for the whole book.

It feels weird to finally have these books done. They have my blood, sweat, tears and my heart poured into them, and I've been working on them for so long that it's odd to actually have them finished. I'm so proud of this bind, and feel like I've grown so much as a fanbinder by making these.

Anyways, if anyone has any questions about the process, please don't hesitate to ask!

(and if you are an Linked Universe fan and haven't read Adjuration yet, this is your sign!)

[haxkattpress]

Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses

"Harry Potter, returning member of the Oxford University Boat Club, has two goals for the spring of 2005: beat Cambridge, and beat Draco Malfoy. Perhaps not in that order."

This has to be one of the most creative and meticulously researched fics I have ever had the pleasure of reading. If you haven't read it yet, don't walk— run! Citrusses is an absolute genius, and kindly gave me permission to bind her masterpiece.

The cover of this bind is made out four different shades of Allure bookcloth cut by my Cameo 4, and the centerpiece is printed and hand foiled. The banners were machine foiled in gold and black with hand foiled rose gold shading. The endbands were hand sewn with Gutermann silk thread.

You can find more pictures and information about my process under the cut.

The amount of inspiration this fic gave me was overwhelming, and Citrusses' writing fully immersed me in the world of competitive rowing. While designing this bind, I was struck by the sheer wealth of Oxford rowing memorabilia available to me. I settled on this 1929 illustration from an official publication on the Oxford and Cambridge Centenary Boat Race for the cover.

"How hard could it possibly be?" I thought, foolishly. The answer was HARD, but I'll get into that later.

Due to the wealth of design options, I believe that this may be the best typeset I have created to date. Thanks to the help of my friend @tsurashi-bindery, I was able to learn the basics of InDesign (kicking and screaming all the way). There will be spoilers in the text of these photos, so try not to read them if you haven't finished the fic!

For the title page, I modified To See the Crews in Training by Charles Pears (1930). I believe that this was part of a series of advertisements for the race in the London Underground.

For the chapter headers, I redrew the crest from an Oxford Oars, Flags, and Arms postcard, presumably pre 1914. I also had some fun creating a mock email using La_Temperanza's How to Mimic Email Windows on Ao3. Cormac's email makes me laugh every time I read it, and Citrusses provided an appropriately pompous subject.

I also had lots of fun editing the oars from the official OUBC logo to serve as dividers and decorations for the page numbers.

Additionally, I got to edit a full newspaper page for the fic! I was very excited find an opportunity to slip Leyendecker's The Finish (1908) in.

The fic ended beautifully, so I wanted to include one last element at the end to capture the atmosphere. I settled on L'aviron (1932) by Milivoj Uzelac. It makes me feel as though Harry and Draco will continue rowing together long after I've closed the book.

I of course had lots of fun sewing the headbands, and got to do it with not one but TWO copies!

Things got tricky when I had to recreate the cover. I had a poor understanding of how vector images worked, and ended up having to redraw it three times. Once I finally cracked and taught myself how to use Illustrator, the program crashed...and I had to redraw it a fourth time!

I set the vector to cut on my Cameo 4, and I assembled the pieces together like a puzzle on my Silhouette mat. I used Allure's indigo, skylight, white, and black bookcloth in the process. I will be making a tutorial video on this method, so I will keep it brief here.

I also cut a piece of bookcloth to 8.5"x 11" and fed it through my inktank printer to print the center design. I then cut it out using the print and cut feature on my Cameo 4. Both of these methods were a first for me, and they were very scary!!

To be perfectly frank, the foiling was a nightmare and I don't want to get into it. I machine foiled the gold, and then foiled black lettering on top of it. I foiled the rose gold shading by hand, and then foiled a thin black outline along the edge of the banners to make them stand out more.

I hand foiled the spines (because I'm scared of measuring), painted the exposed board (to hide any gaps in the inlays), and used transfer tape to lift my design from the Silhouette mat and onto the cover.

One more fun detail— my copy and the author's copy are sisters! The dark blue and the light blue are inverted on the author's copy, making it distinguishable from mine. This is the first time I have made an author's copy for a fic, and I was admittedly incredibly nervous. I always worry about what authors will think of my work, but Citrusses gave me an incredible amount of encouragement and support throughout the process! Thank you for trusting me with your precious fic!

This story is a work of fanfiction and can be read on Ao3 for free. My bind and typeset are for personal use only and not for sale or profit. Keep fandom free!

[swordsmans]

oh shit! i made a book.

remember back in september when i said i was going to learn bookbinding. well! weeks of trial and error later, i've finally finished my very first bind! as some of you might have seen in past posts, i decided to focus on my 90k zolu mermaid/mafia au the sea makes bones of bodies and now here we are!

the bind itself is a relatively simple 320 page cased-in flatback with a fabric spine and lotka paper covers and endsheets, but i decided to use it as a "test book" to learn a little bit of everything. so! it features hand-traced gold foil on the cover and spine, a hand-beaded bookmark tipped with a genuine shark tooth (iykyk), and what im calling "cookies and cream" speckled edges (lol)

ive posted some screenshots of the typeset already so i wont go too crazy, but im actually pretty happy with how it looked all put together!! i sewed my signatures together too tightly, i think, so it kind of wants to flop closed (rip) but i tried to take some pictures of how it turned out!

i have a ton of pictures of the text body itself (and fun things like the playlist page, the title pages, etc) but this post is already long enough, haha.

the absolute best, best, best part of this whole project was a huge, wonderful, amazing surprise from @fluffyartbl0g that brought the whole project together!!! they were sweet enough to send some incredible art (!!!!) that i sewed into the front and back!!!

!!! AAA!!!!

overall, i learned so much and i took a ton of notes so i'll (hopefully) avoid some of my beginner mistakes when i do this again. i already have three more versions of the text block printed out and pressing right now! >:3c im going to keep practicing with this story for at least three more binds (because i want to get my technique down and i have some new ideas i want to try), and then switch to typsetting ocean theology and attempt a thinner 40k bind.

shoutout to renegade publishing for their wealth of technical help, and a big huge thank you to the dumbass zone for watching blurry videos of me flipping through printer paper at 3AM and just generally being so, so supportive while i learned all these new skills. you guys are the best!!

now... on to the next one!

EDIT: i've been asked for the typeset, so if you are interested in binding this yourself, you can find all the files here!! :D if you do make your own copy, i would love to see!!! PLEASE TAG MEEE!!!! :DDD

[spockandawe]

Here we go! I have some smaller books to share as well, but I've been absolutely VIBRATING with excitement to share a BIG one, and I'm going to indulge myself and post that today, then figure out words for the rest. Because I bound a new cnovel. Check it out, guys, I bound jwqs/clear and muddy loss of love :D

Let me indulge myself and backtrack a little! First, these are quarto books, so they're short. But I think these average a little under 500 pages each, and jwqs is a LONG book (my beloved), and this adds up to a total eleven inches of lesbians. More like twelve once they're in their cases. It's over a million characters in Chinese and I think the English translation comes in somewhere around 890k, it's HUGE

Making these books was SO FUN, I hadn't read jwqs and still haven't, and will probably read on my phone when I do. I don't have any exciting photos of the typesetting, but I knew this was an imperial succession story, and that made me nervous, those stories don't always click for me. Well, the process of typesetting and adding footnotes for this beast definitely confirmed that I'm going to have a good time with this thing when I have the time to read it, but there was also so much going on that only the vaguest of spoilers sank in. I went into an absolute FRENZY of typesetting, and after I printed, cut and folded it, well. That was one afternoon of sewing. You're looking at the reason I'm scrambling to make up a few hours of missed work, hahaha

After that, I needed cases. At the very beginning of march, I received a shipment of some FASCINATING bookcloth. It's called Duo, and it's made by layering a thin gauzy fabric of one color over paper of a different color. Depending on the combos, you get a really cool range of color-shifting effects. And they've gone out of production! But I was part of a group order to get some of the goods, and hadn't yet finished a new project. Reader, I went for it.

That purple and green is bananas!!!! It's so hard to photograph, this midnight picture of a few cases is one of my most successful attempts to capture the full range up close. Originally I'd been thinking of trying to evoke imperial gold, but I figured this was still the kind of drama and luxury suited the book, and also something something the hidden colors suited Qi Yan's character. I tied it back a little to the imperial gold with the endpapers, then titled them in silver foil, since the endpapers had silver in them.

But once the books were made, I felt like it wanted something... more. Something like a BOX!

And me, I chase novelty. A set this large would be tricky for anything clamshell, but a slipcase for all seven would leave books tipping all over if it was wide open, but putting walls between slots would be demanding in terms of precision and would risk similarly-sized books getting stuck in the wrong slots. Then I remembered learning about slipcases where you could put in a little insert to support the weight of the text block, and the concept SNAPPED into place.

Colors aren't going to photograph well at midnight, but I made the supports using the scraps and off-cuts from my endpapers, to tie it back into the bindings. The back of the case is lined in more of the duo, and the walls are lined with a faux leather bookcloth I like a lot, it feels buttery smooth and seemed like a good neutral material to tie the papers and bookcloth together. I listened to some of the DEEPEST layers from the nine-hour conspiracy theory iceberg video while I was working on this, haha, it was a TRIP.

And in the end, each of the supports is sized to comfortably sit in the smallest of the volumes, and evenly spaced, so I believe it will take the books in any order with no problems. It's easy to grab the books without having to cut notches into the walls to grab them from. And even though weight is less of an issue for quarto sizing, the books in here have their weight supported no matter what angle the box is at! I'm so, so pleased with how this concept worked out and definitely plan to do more with it in the future.

So there we are! Jing Wei Qing Shang! I had such a fabulous time with this project, and I'm so excited to get to share it with all of you. The story was fun to work with, the bindings and box were fun to make, and everything here came together just as well as I could possibly have hoped. I'm so proud of this, and incredibly, incredibly excited to show it to you!

[petrichorca]

Hello, I am slowly figuring out how to use tumblr effectively. I thought I'd give an update on fics I've written in 2024, but keep forgetting to talk about here in a meaningful way.

As We Go Hand in Hand (explicit, gentlebeard, 7100 words) follows Ed as he processes the past few months while living on the island with Stede, massively in love but struggling with himself. I wrote it while feeling a lot of delayed grief around the (confirmed) s2 cancellation, and while it's sad at points it's also quite romantic I think. I really love this story.

Behind Closed Eyes All I See is You (explicit, gentlebeard, 5300 words) is a smutty PWP my dear friend @chaoticturtleturtle invited me to write with her. Stede lets Ed take the lead in a scene with some sensory deprivation, pwp, and aftercare.

like sugar to my heart (mature, gentlebeard, 4200 words) is a silly fic I wrote for my Animorphs OFMD AU co-writer as a birthday gift. Our blue four-legged four-eyed mouthless alien Stedeth gets foiled by a vending machine (based on the tumblr art of the giraffe centaur), and Ed consoles him.

like a bird (teen, gentlebeard, 3700 words) with @ghostalservice gives some backstory about Stedeth's life prior to the events of our 177k fic and features some very cute art of Mary and Stede's children (as Andalites, of course) by @theogem

Stede’s Cursed Red Suit as a Metaphor for Grief and Moving On (teen, stede + izzy, 1717 words) explores the squishy time of season 2, episode 5, and the dynamic between Stede and Izzy in season 2 overall. I am also obsessed with how Stede acts in the cursed suit. I find their s2 relationship really interesting so this is me looking a bit at that via a missing scene starting with Stede yelling OH FUCK OFF.

Calypso’s Dawn (explicit, gentlebeard, 1800 words) centers around how Ed made his boyfriend blush the morning after Calypso's birthday and how Ed feels about it. I love this fic. I've been trying to challenge myself to write more self-contained, shorter stories and this one turned out really well imo.

Life as a Series of Forward Rolls (teen, gentlebeard, 9900 words) features Stede running into his teenhood crush, the gold medalist in men's gymnastics from the 1996 Olympics. This fic also centers around a Barbie doll in Ed Teach's likeness, which @swashbuckling-sweethearts made an INCREDIBLE art of (embedded at the end of the story), inspired by my own 1996 Olympics Barbie. Silly and light modern AU!

Did you mean to do that? (teen, gentlebeard, 700 words) explores Stede's grief around Ed dying, even when he knows Ed is alive. I had no idea I would be so interested in writing missing scenes, but long conversations with friends have really ignited me in exploring these. (The length - I was trying to channel @brigdh, whose ability to write devastatingly brilliant drabbles inspires me, and I'm pleased with this one!)

Perfectly Ordinary Tuesday (mature, gentlebeard, 4900 words) with @ferventrabbit follows Stede and Ed deciding to get married on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday, and drag their inn guest Dave along for the ride. We split up writing the vows, and I balled my eyes out writing mine and then reading em's. This story is fluffy and fun, and it was a great way to start 2024. :)

What's next: I'm working on or noodling a lot of projects, solo and with different collaborators. Imminently, I've got a fic with @veeagainsttheday coming for AUpril on April 1st. Hoping to get something else out in April for @ofmdjanuaury's AUpril 2024 event, which I highly encourage folks to check out - it's for all sorts of creators!

@ghostalservice and I continue to think about our blue alien Stede and his human boyfriend Ed. Wanna Fly Away was such an important project to me while we were writing, and it's become even more special as folks find it. WFA now has art embedded in most of the 15 chapters, so if you haven't seen those check it out. More to come in that space.

Where was I going with this? Well, I suppose I want to say I'm still here. OFMD changed my life, and the OFMD fandom community is deeply important to me. I still hold out hope for a third season, or a follow-up that brings us more closure, but no matter what I'm still thinking about our pirates and will for a long time. If you read this far, thanks for being part of my community. <3

[highlynerdy]

"Aithusa has seen her father's mate in his memories and smelled him on her father's skin when he comes to visit, but this is the first time she gets to meet him for herself."

Nepenthe and Lavender by @0hheytherebigbadwolf

My latest fanARTifact is an entirely handlettered, handbound, and illustrated book of this beautifully fluffy fic (and it has actually been in various states of progress since March 1, 2021.) More below the cut!

So as I said above, I actually started planning this fic over two years ago. Which, yeah, I don't really want to talk about because adhd is a hell of a thing. I love love love this fic (and this entire series) and I was inspired by The Black Hours and other gorgeous manuscripts with metallic on black paper.

I ordered some black paper from Canson for the text block, used Arabic gold finetec paint mixed with water and gum arabic as my ink (I used three pans of the gold paint...), and a Nikko G nib with a straight pen holder for the calligraphy. I really wanted to use one of my broad tip nibs, but I just couldn't my Uncial letters small enough with it. I used Uncial since that was technically the alphabet/font they used in the Arthurian time period.

The paper was cut down and folded into signatures of three and then I drew out light pencil lines for the text and for the margins. Every single letter was done sooooo slooowwllly because if I messed up on one page there was no way to erase it, which meant I would have to do basically four pages worth of lettering again since they were all connected.

And I did mess up.

More than once.

I think the most heartbreaking mistake was at the very end when I was trying to erase my pencil lines and I just ripped a page completely in half. The tears were real, folks.

Once I finished lettering - which took hours and hours and hours over many weeks - it was time to assemble the text block and sew it. I used gold silk thread I had leftover from Arthur's scarf (which is also used as the backdrop for the photo shoot) to sew the block together and I love how it gives just another little peek of gold to the book.

I painted the end papers in a vaguely floral pattern with the same gold and also some silver finetec paint, glued them all together and put them in my book press and then promptly didn't work on it again from October 2022 to July 2023. Sigh.

But once I committed to getting it done, I asked @swanfloatieknight to help be my accountabilibuddy and make sure I finished it this week. I tested out so many different cover designs, from fabric and thread, to paper, to finally settling on this all over design done by my cricut. Historically accurate?? Nah. I'm about as historically accurate as BBC Merlin.

I tried my hand at gold foiling and that was a disaster so I just used a gold silk ribbon to give the color a little bit more color. Once it was bound, I painted in a triskelion and Aithusa on a double page spread I left intentionally blank.

And it was finally done!

All in all, I'm pleased with how it turned out. Was it an exercise in patience? Yes. Did I learn a lot? Also yes. Mostly that handlettering an entire fic is madness and also this is far too small to case bind, but I'm a stubborn ass and it was happening regardless.

All total, I probably worked on this for about 50+ hours. It was most definitely a labor of love and I'm so happy that it's finally done.

Thank you for inspiring me to take on such a project by writing such wonderful fics, @0hheytherebigbadwolf! And thank you for everyone who reads these long fanARTifact posts. 💛

[gingermintpepper]

Day 4: Aristaeus

Interpretation notes and trivia below the cut!!

All rise for the entrance of my president !! Honestly, of all the figures and characters that were up for debate when I first started thinking about this story and who I wanted leading the charge Aristaeus was not one of them. Originally, I'd always known that Asclepius and Orpheus would be worked in somehow - they've always been favourites of mine in terms of children of Apollo (even if Orpheus as the child of Apollo and Calliope is less popular classically) and I expected my pick for the third child of Apollo to be involved to be similarly mortal like Iamus or Tenes but the more I looked into Aristaeus the more I fell in love with him! Ultimately, he's meant to be both a foil and a reflection of his father - a boy who grows up thinking his father's footsteps would always be warm only to realise that following in them would lead to death and destruction. While his status as a rustic and hunting god is still important here, Aristaeus' interpretation is much more focused on his connection to the Etesian wind and his quelling of the dog star Sirius which is why his hair in particular is so long and spiralling. All in all, more than any other figure I've chosen to interpret and represent in my work Aristaeus is the god I hope more people get interested in and research! I think there are a lot of important stories in his various myths and travels and I definitely want more people to discover and fall in love with them as I have!

Some fun trivia:

Apollo's firstborn son. Because he was born mortal on account of his very mortal mother, Apollo immediately took him to Olympus to eat ambrosia to begin his transition into divinity. Apollo would continue to feed Aristaeus small amounts of ambrosia and nectar for the next ten years until the child fully shed his mortal skin and was reborn as a god.

Due to the nature of making mortals deathless (namely the fun part of the process where they are completely remade and lose their mortal memories) Aristaeus spent most of his early life with his mother and siblings where they all pitched in to reteach him his family, his hobbies, his favourite things and ultimately how to live and love. Aristaeus was very attached to his maternal family because of this and his early acts of ingenuity were mostly born from his wish to make things easier for his family.

Aristaeus is the only one of his children Apollo hand raised full time. In those days, Aristaeus adored his father and believed him completely upright and blameless, the true face of a benevolent deity and the kind of man he aimed to be when he was full grown.

They would later have many bitter arguments and conflicts, the first and perhaps most impactful of all being their disagreement over Actaeon, Aristaeus' firstborn son. He wanted Apollo to teach him stating that it was a normal thing for a grandfather to do but Apollo vehemently refused to have any part of Actaeon's rearing, stating that he was not his child and that it was highly inappropriate for him to educate another god's son. When Actaeon later dies, Aristaeus blames a not insignificant part of that on Apollo - something that only worsens when he learns that it was Artemis who cursed the boy and that Apollo was always aware Actaeon would die young.

Spends most of his time travelling from place to place. Doesn't really like Olympus and prefers to spend his time minding animals or tending to fields. Is on wonderful terms with Demeter and Persephone and often makes decadent exchanges of olive oil and preserved meat for exotic flowers and fruit for his bees.

Big fan of wind and percussive instruments. Never liked the kithara because of how finicky it is and far prefers the hand drums and reed flutes of his mother's country. Exceptional dancer.

Will sell prized cattle for high quality and highly unique jewellry. Doesn't much care for gemstones but is an absolute gold fiend and has a massive collection of bracelets, anklets, nose and lip adornments and rings. Has never been north enough to hit India but got a ton of rare and different adornments from his Phoenician in-laws when he was married to Autonoë.

Hates dogs but doesn't mind wolves. Not a big horse fan either

Unlike other winds, he cannot transform into various animal forms. He's close enough to the Anemoi that he keeps up with the gossip but he's only really friends with Notos. Gets along poorly with Zephyrus whose preference for pretty youths has often led to them getting into physical altercations when they were younger. Aristaeus still holds a bit of a grudge about it.

Has a big stupid crush on Dionysus which is embarrassing because Dionysus also put him out of a job. Due to Dionysus' relative youth, he feels a bit conflicted about such feelings - mostly because Dionysus is on extremely good terms with Apollo and Aristaeus doesn't want him to get burned.

Despite kinda despising his father, Aristaeus is a pretty decent eldest brother and regularly keeps in contact with a lot of his siblings. He often delivers mead, flavoured honey and olive oil and uses it as an excuse to chat and catch up. Currently in a bit of a tiff with Asclepius because he's worried about him and his family.

Favourite colour is the rich gold of purified honey, favourite food is lokma and his favourite time of year is winter.

[thetempleofmara]

My Gol Hah Dov book project!

@99corentine

I have an enthusiasm for hardbound books and decided I want to turn Gol Hah Dov into a physical book.

I wanted to share with you the final project as well as my design inspiration and thoughts:

Cover design I wanted a hardbound book, with cloth and foil inlay like the mockup I made below. I modeled book 1 after Chrysanthe and drew a chrysanthemum for the cover as well as a blue and gold colour scheme.

The inspiration for the border comes from the skyrim artbook as well as the in-game "book of the dragonborn" The dovahzul in the frame is Miraak's quote from the dlc "The first Dragonborn meets the Last Dragonborn at the summit of Apocrypha" (or at least the first few words because I ran out of space, but it's the thought that counts.)

I chose some of my favourite parts of the story to use for key illustrations.

They are:

Chry meets Miraak in Apocrypha for the first time and a mute Miraak slams the wall while Chry is looking for him in the dark (I need more romance to be introduced as horror, thank you)

Chry meets Partysnax, I think you wrote him very true to character (and maybe I just wanted to draw the old boy)

Chry sets Miraak free by using the gol hah dov shout on him and beats Mora's ass with the rueful axe, I loved how all the little plot points came together for this one. ( the shout breaking mind control, the axe cutting a daedric prince, the hints of Mara assisting Chry, you are a genius)

Storm call dragon fight! I always thought storm call is such an OP ability if it would exist irl and is one of the shouts that really shows the power of a dragonborn. And you made them do it twice, such a great moment.

Chry communicating with Mora underwater. One of the best moments, and also my favourite drawing. Also just for fun here are the horrible thumbnails of the art:

Each chapter also has a Chry-inspired decal. I used chrysanthemums for him as well as using the design for Mara from the game, and the main mission quest marker from the journal:

The thumbnails:

The final ones used:

Each chapter has the number in english and the name of the chapter in dovazhul just for fun.

The sketches through the book I initially wanted to make in the style of skyrim concept art, like so:

But the style of the concept art and the style of the book was a bit too different and I felt it didn't look good with the use of red colours so I ended up with a more loose b+w style like the Teldryn one.

For the chapters where you had translations at the end I wanted to make a little dictionary design:

I based this design off the in-game miscellaneous quest markers.

[broomsick]

Holy spaces & shrines in the modern norse path

Before we dive into the oh-so-diverse topic of holy spaces, let me first specify a few practical tips!

I’m very much aware that the definition of the term “holy” is deeply subjective and varies depending on one’s opinions. I’ll elaborate on a few of my thoughts on the topic further!

In no way are you bound by any rule regarding this aspect of paganism.

I will base my post off of my research, granted, but also on my personal experiences and practices!

Now, what makes a holy space sacred? Not necessarily "holy" per say, but simply sacred.

The very first factor to consider is, what is sacredness? Lots and lots of pagans engage mostly in solitary practice, so much is true. Which is why lots of us find ourselves gravitating towards spaces others may not necessarily find any sense of "sacredness" in. The corner of your room where you tend to pray the most? Sacred. Or the spot in your garden where you perform your harvest ritual every year! It’s the connection we feel to the space that makes it sacred in the first place. But a space being holy depends on whether or not we choose to anoint it in such a way.

When something is sacred to me, I tend to feel a sort of spiritual pull. A swelling of the heart, if you will, like the feeling I get when faced with a breathtaking landscape. The feeling of spiritual connection to a particular spot is the first intuition one needs to tune into when choosing a holy space. After all, staying in tune with one's intuition might be one of the most important aspect of any spiritual practice.

Within nordic practice, a holy space is often called vé, a sacred enclosure. Vé's are attested in numerous toponyms as well as ancient texts, such as Beowulf, or the Skáldskaparmál. Their omnipresence in Scandinavian toponyms might, when considered through a pagan lense, signify something quite interesting: the holiness of a space depends on the space itself, its location, rather than what's inside it— or rather, how grand and ornate it is. When building a holy space for oneself, one does not need lavish decoration, or an elaborate shrine with the gold foil and the statues.

However, there are a few steps one can follow in order to anoint a space as holy, if one wants to reconstruct a few practices from pre-Christian Scandinavia. Although I'll specify that as always, no rule is set in stone when it comes to neopaganism. The choice to abide by them or not is entirely up to the practitioner. And in any case, even as I was gathering these few ideas, it was clear that, as always, pre-Christian practices centered around holy spaces vastly differed depending on the place and the time. Regardless, I think it's fun to do some research on the topic in order to reconstruct on our own terms a holy space in the nordic tradition.

The first step? Having a good knowledge of your area. Both before and during the Viking Age, holy places were more often than not located outside. It can be a great help to know where to find the greenery in one's area. Is there a beach near home that the public has access to? How about a large park where you can spend some time alone without being bothered? Even your backyard does the trick! Anywhere you can see the sky and breathe the open air is already perfect. Now, the Germanic tribes would generally worship near an object of particular importance, such as a grove, a body of water, a clearing in the forest, a hill... Although this doesn't seem to be very present in historical attestations, and considering I'm devoted to Yngvi-Freyr, I'm an especially big fan of worshipping in plains, or fields!

I think it's important for me to note that if you are lucky enough to live near a body of water, you can choose to engage in one of the most popular forms of offering in nordic historical practice: throwing offerings out to sink into the water! This practice was especially widespread, evidence of it having been found as far as Britain and Iceland. Evidently, if one chooses to engage in such a practice, it's important to respect the ecosystems and stick with offerings that won't damage them (acorns, stones, flowers and the like). As for an outdoors shrine located in a forest, or near woodland, it would have been customary during pre-Christian times to center a holy space around a tall tree, perhaps representing the World Tree Yggdrasil.

Considering lots of neo-pagans prefer to keep their practice discreet, it goes without saying that the holy space of your choosing does not need to be especially big, nor especially decorated. It can be as small as it is humble! One of the spaces where I most like to worship is the little corner of the yard, tucked under a cedar tree, where I rebuild my hörgr every year, as soon as the snow melts for good. Nothing too flamboyant!

Now, the second step to building a little outdoors shrine for yourself is to choose a representation of the deity to adore. It's said that the human-like appearance of this representation mattered little to the Germanic tribes, whose representations of the Gods could be rather simple, and not especially ornate. For this reason, it would be perfectly logical to even choose an object associated with the deity in question to serve as the main representation placed in the sanctuary. If we're talking about Freyja, a falcon statuette, or feather could do the trick! As for Fenrir, any wolf imagery could work as well! In the case of Thórr, one could replicate the case of Donar's Oak and choose to center their shrine around a particular tree (the rowan are the oak would make the best choices, if one is to pick a tree sacred to Thórr). These are just examples, and the possibilities in this regard are limitless. This "main" representation can be used as the center of your sacred space, and given offerings during rituals or celebrations. In my case, I like greet this representation both when "entering" the sacred space and when leaving it, as a sign of respect!

If one so desires, it's possible to set up some kind of "delimitation" in order to mark the entrance of the sacred space, or its outline. I like to place either ribbons on nearby branches, or litter stones here and there to lie in a loose circle (we wouldn't want to block the rays of the sun from reaching the earth and keep the greenery from growing). In order to signal the entrance of shrines, the Germanic tribes would generally use heaps of dirt or pillars of stone, among other things.

Another intresting element one might include in their sacred space is the presence of fire! Whether this be a bonfire, incense, a simple candle or even just a handful of ash, there's lots of ways to include the "element" of fire into a modern day shrine. It's a means of warming up the space, so to speak: tending a fire in the shrine is akin to having a hearth in the home!

Ideas for common, historically attested offerings: Ethically-sourced animal bones, gold or golden jewelry, tools, representation of the Gods, beads and beaded jewelry, alcohol, food and meat…

Now, let's pull away from the history lesson and let's dive into modern, neo-pagan practice! I'd wager some of you are wondering, how exactly can one keep a whole shrine, but make their practice as low-key as possible?! After all, I know firsthand that solo practice is especially common among neo-pagans. So my answer to this question is, who said anything about keeping? One piece of advice I've already given to a few fellow pagans in the past is to create a little portable shrine all to yourself! Let me explain myself: you arrive at your chosen location, you put down a basket full of decoration and you put up a temporary space in which to worship for an hour or two. You take out a deity representation, a few candles (if they're allowed on site!), a handful of offerings and a cloth on which to place them. And when you're done with the ritual, you pack up your things and make sure you leave the site as clean as when you first found it. In other words, what I’m suggesting is the possibility of gathering a few designated worship items in order to make oneself a portable, personal little shrine! It might seem like a silly idea at first, but I’ve discovered it’s not only a fun habit, but it’s also greatly helpful on a tight schedule to have a quick and easy way to engage in outdoors practice.

As always, I wrote this post aiming to help fellow pagans find ways to balance historical practice and modern, solo practice! I hope these few ideas did the trick, and wish you all a good and plentiful spring season!

First picture

[ninthcircleofprythian]

Unbound

Part One - They Don't Know About Us

Series Summary - Not having a mating bond didn't stop the love Azriel and Celeste have for each other or their commitment. When an unknown magic lingering from Celeste's past causes her to lose all memories of the last century, will they be able to rebuild their life without a bond tethering them together?

Word Count - 4.2k

Authors Note - This is part one of a continuing series. This first part is establishing background. Fluffy with a pinch of angst.

Warnings - references to past domestic abuse/injury, some sexual innuendo.

“I hope you’re prepared to be annihilated this year Az,” Rhys drawled as he pulled gloves over his slender hands. “And please — let’s refrain from being petty in your concession speech.” 

Azriel flashed a furtive smile. “I’m not even worried. Cassian’s the sore loser – not me.”

“I am not!” Cassian lashed out a sideways punch at Az’s shoulder, which he effortlessly dodged before kicking out and knocking Cassian leg right from under him.

Cas landed in a hard wallop on his back onto the snow covered ground. “Hey! Watch the wings!” With a nimble move he popped straight to standing again and shook the icy crystals from his webbed appendages. “What’s the count up to now anyway?” He directed at Azriel. “Three hundred and thirty something isn’t it?”

“Three hundred and thirty three this year. When I win.” Az adjusted his own winter leathers in preparation to begin. “Feels like a lucky number,” he added, rubbing his siphon clad hands together and blowing into them, his shadows responding to his breath and scattered before him.

“You know what they say Az, good things come in threes.” Cassian punched out again, hitting both Az and Rhys in the shoulders in jest, his boisterous laugh rang out in echo across the empty clearing they stood along the edge of. 

Rhys let the punch land, rocking back slightly and laughing in return. “Alright, we all know the rules here. Let’s get this show started.”

“Well–what’s the verdict?” Feyre exclaimed, popping her head up from the sofa as the three imposing Illyrians filed into the River House foyer. “Do you have a surprise for me?” She narrowed a questioning look at her mate who stood behind the sofa, hands clasped behind him. Rhys’ normally hidden wings were out on full display which she assumed was a sign of the news. 

“My money is on Cassian,” said Mor cooly from where she was painting her nails a shocking red on the coffee table. 

Rhys gave a sly noncommittal nod. “Hmm. I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders without releasing his grasp behind him. 

“C’mon! Let me see!” Feyre kneeled on the sofa seat reaching over the back and playfully grabbing at Rhys’ arms to get a look at his hands. He halfheartedly attempted to evade her before bringing up his hands showing empty palms. 

“Sorry darling, maybe next year.” He bent over and planted a wet kiss in the center of her forehead. 

“I knew it!” shouted Mor. “Pay up Nes.” She held her freshly manicured hand out toward Nesta sitting in the chair nearby. Nes slid an icy glance up from the pages of her novel and then immediately went back to reading.

“Wait–you bet against me?!” Cassian wailed, flying up from his slouch in the other armchair. “Your own mate?! Gods spare me!” He promptly flopped back into the seat, adjusting his wings with a loud thump.

Feyre immediately snapped her gaze back and forth between Cassian and Azriel, who had nipped into the dining room to snag one of Elain’s pastries. 

“Alright, fess up you two. I want my present.” Feyre huffed, a dramatic pout and hands on hips like a toddler.

The ridiculous tradition had begun one year when Rhys got the idea to craft a trophy for the winner of the annual Solstice snowball fight, which just happened to be him that particular year. The tiny pewter cup had been plastered with gold foil and wrapped into a lavish package which Rhys had then presented to his mate as her birthday gift. He had tried to pass it off as his only gift before whipping out a lovely necklace to adorn Feyre’s neck instead. Every year since, the tiny cup had been passed off from that year’s winner to Feyre as her first official birthday gift of the year. Feyre, Mor and Nesta however had started their own tradition of betting money on who they predicted would be the winner. 

Sauntering past the sofa arm and settling into the empty half, Azriel balanced his pastry with one hand and reached into his leather’s chest pocket with the other. 

“Happy Birthday Feyre,” he said quietly with a smile and passed off the cup into her waiting hands. The darkened strands of shadow curled excitedly around the small gift as if they were showing it off before quickly returning to his fingers.

“Oh Az! Congrats! You shouldn’t have,” she said with mock humility. “No but really,” her face turned serious. “You shouldn’t have. I’ll never hear the end of it.” Feyre shot her mate a teasing look as Az threw his head back and laughed, mouth still full of pastry.

“And you thought I was the sore loser.” Cassian grumbled playfully.

“Oh Cas,” Feyre started gently, “if it makes you feel any better my money was on you too.”

Rhys choked in surprise on the whiskey he was sipping as he leaned on the mantle. “What the fuck! Seriously Feyre?” 

Az threw his head back further this time, nearly dropping the plate from his lap and let loose a deep belly laugh. 

From the other side of the room Cas pointed his fist at Rhys as if to bump it from a distance. “Solidarity brother.” Turning his attention to his other brother on the sofa, “And I don’t know what you find so funny over there. In case you didn’t notice – that means no one bet on you.”

Nesta had finally closed her book, nestling it next to her in the chair and joined the conversation. “Az was too obvious a choice,” she stated, her hard face showing no sign of a smile. “Betting on the underdogs gives a higher payout.” 

Cassian made a throaty gurgling noise as he mimed stabbing himself in the heart and flexed his wrist. “Twist a little harder, why don’t you Nes.” 

“Underdog huh?” Rhys quipped from over his whiskey glass, his violet eyes flaring a bit.

“I would have won, you know,” Cassian argued. “If it wasn’t for Az’s unfair advantage I would have totally been victorious.”

“And what exactly was my ‘unfair advantage’ Cas?” Snaking lines of shadow writhed down his legs as Azriel lengthened his posture into a relaxed lounge.

“C’mon brother. Don’t play dumb. It’s time to fess up.” Cassian’s eyes twinkled with hints of a secret knowledge. 

“I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about,” Az answered lazily.

Mor began fanning her hands in the air in order to dry the second coat of her polish. “Let’s hear it then, Cassian. If there was foul play we should know.” 

“I think Az was right, Cassian.” Rhys chuckled to himself. “You are the sore loser.”

“Oh c'mon Rhysie darling,” Cassian teased. “I know a mating bond chafe when I see one. I remember ours well.”

Everything stopped. Any rustling or whispering or shifting of bodies abruptly halted. Mor’s fanning paused in mid-air, hands hanging comically in front of her face. Even breathing seemed to be on pause. At least it was for Azriel, as all eyes in the room fell upon him. He didn’t even notice the shushing whisper of his shadows curled around his face trying to tell him something because all he could hear was the slamming of his heartbeat in his ears. And he wasn’t convinced that everyone else couldn't hear it either.  

“What exactly do you mean by chafe, Cassian?” Nesta broke in.

“Oh, so you can give it but you can’t take it?” Cassian quipped as he stood to cross the room. “I don’t mean anything by it, my love.” Dipping his frame he extended his arms in an attempt to embrace his mate. She very quickly shot out one palm, planting it in the center of his chest and shoved. 

“And what exactly about me having a mating bond would be unfair?” Azriel rumbled darkly, sitting rigidly upright now.

Cassian’s head whipped in Azriel’s direction. “That’s not what I meant,” he said tensely as he made his way back to his chair next to the sofa. Then softening his voice, “You know that’s not what I meant.” Cas reached out and placed a hand to Az’s knee.

“So what did you mean?” Az responded, his tone menacing.

“All I meant was that with Rhys and I, we all knew about our bonds before the annual fight. We all knew what we were walking into. You could have told us in advance,” Cassian’s hand squeezed Az’s knee gently. “Level the playing field a bit.” Cassian winked with a laugh for the benefit of everyone listening, but leaned in with another squeeze. Lowering his voice to a soft pitch he said, “You could have told us.” He smiled sadly before dropping his hand and Azriel’s gaze.

“A mating bond?” Feyre asked astounded. “Az? Is it true?”

“Who is she? Do we know her?” Mor chimed in quick succession.

“A secret lover? How scandalous. How long have you been hiding her away?” Nesta asked dreamily, thinking what a good plot to a romance novel this would make.

The questions erupted in a flurry. 

“There is no bond.” Azriel said flatly, fortifying his face into an unreadable cover.

Feyre sighed out the breath she had been holding and rubbed her hand on Azriel’s forearm. Mor’s fanning resumed at a slower pace, her eyes still fixed on Azriel gauging his mood. Rhys still stood languidly against the mantle wearing a similarly unreadable mask.

“No bond–,” Nesta said lowly. “But there is someone isn’t there?” Her hard stare penetrated into Azriel as he met it. Ever since he had seen her emerge from that bog long ago as a frightful Goddess of Death, he swore she could see things in him that no one else could. 

It was true he had once yearned for a mating bond so badly that he thought he’d rather retreat into his own tortured mind than live without one. But the time after meeting his love had changed that. From the time she had first started entering his circle as an acquaintance to the time they were inseparable as lovers, Azriel had come to find that she was worth more than every mating bond he was never granted.

He held Nesta’s stare just a moment too long. A shiver spread through his wings and he pulled a sharp inhale through his nose. There was no use lying about it. He had indeed kept her a secret for some time now but they had both already agreed to make it public, they just hadn’t exactly decided when yet. 

The length of time it took Azriel to answer Nesta’s question led all the eyes in the room to shift back to him. 

“Yes.” Azriel said and heard Mor gasp, also noticing how Rhys’ whiskey glass remained touching his lips but he wasn’t swallowing. “There is someone.”

“I knew it.” Mor whispered breathlessly.

“No you didn’t, Mor,” Feyre shot. “You always say that.” Turning to Azriel next to her she flashed him a beautifully authentic smile. “We are happy for you Az. I can’t wait to meet her.”

Rhys had broken his frozen stance and moved lithely over to the small bar cart in the corner. He held a glass out to Cassian and then turned to do the same to Azriel. “We are very happy for you Az,” he offered out the heavy crystal whiskey glass matching the one in his own hand. “Cheers brother.”

Azriel accepted the drink, tipping it gently towards the one in Rhys’ hand until they clinked together. 

“May the Cauldron bless you both,” Cassian added genuinely as the motion of tapping glasses was repeated between them.

“You should invite her to Solstice dinner tonight.” Mor uttered from the floor.

“Yes!” squealed Feyre “Az, invite her! If she is free that is.”

Az brought the whiskey to his mouth and drained the glass in one gulp. “We’ll see,” he said through the burn.

“Yes, if she’s free, please do invite her tonight.” Rhys offered. “And let’s hope she is free, or I might never hear the end of it.” He winked a teasing wink at his mate, who then belted out a ringing belly laugh of her own. 

“No. He won’t” Feyre agreed. Azriel couldn’t help but smile to himself at that, knowing it was entirely true.

Celeste sat hugging her knees on the sofa in her apartment listening intently, wide-eyed at Azriel’s recollection of the conversation that had taken place earlier that morning.

“Oh! This is so, so good Az. No really, it’s delicious,” she crooned, bouncing in her seat on the sofa. “We couldn’t have planned it better ourselves! They are going to be so surprised!” 

He listened with amused distraction as she began plotting and planning the whole thing, exacting how they would make their grand reveal. As she jotted down ideas and paced around the small apartment living room, he could only focus on her and not her words. 

In her flurry of excitement she had swept her dark brown curls up atop her head and out of the way, exposing the soft expanse of her neck and the whole of her face. His eyes lingered along the scar that traversed her features, beginning its snaking path in her right eyebrow cleaving it entirely in two. Barely missing the corner of her eye, it continued over the bridge of her nose, through the flesh of her left nostril and slipped down into the plump pillow of her top lip. Although it had been healed for decades now, it was still fiery bright red in color against her lightly tanned skin. 

The scar itself had never bothered Az. It did nothing to detract from Celete’s beauty and charm. It was the origin of the injury that had his blood boiling. The mark was a relic of her former partner. A vile and cruel male who had enacted punishments upon her for any perceived slight. The scar came about after one of the times Celeste had attempted to escape him. Ever since Azriel had first heard her recount a particularly awful recollection to Nesta after walking in on a girls night in the House of Wind, he had attempted to find the man named Tyrik. As spymaster, Azriel might have abused a few of his court powers in order to do so. Every lead for the last three decades ended in a dead end. One day though, Azriel was convinced that Tyrik would be the one dead.

Azriel mentally tugged his thoughts away from that male before the anger began showing in his body language. His hazel eyes continued to trail Celeste across the room, still pacing animatedly. How anyone could hurt this wonderful female before him, he would never understand. He answered the flurry of questions Celeste asked him in quick succession and offered his opinion on how things should be timed for the surprise. 

“Oh. Oh, Cauldron boil me!” Celeste suddenly exclaimed with a squeak. “I have to pick a different outfit!”

Jumping up from the sofa across from where he sat, she wound her way around the coffee table with ease. Grabbing his face between her two hands with more force than she intended she yelped out, “Az–oh! Sorry. But I need your help.” Planting a quick kiss to his lips, she was already scurrying down the hall before she finished. “Don’t go anywhere. You have to help me pick. Wait there!”

“I’d rather watch,” he shouted back. Her sharp laughter rang back down the hallway. 

Az just chuckled to himself as he heard her rummaging around the tiny closet in her bedroom. Alone in the now quiet living room, he began to think about how much she had changed since he first laid eyes on her. The version of Celeste he had met in a dark tavern was a stark difference to the Celeste that had just bounced off frantically.

She had been working in a shabby tavern on the outskirts of the city. It was where he went when he didn’t want to engage in the ravelry of Rita’s with the rest of his friends. Azriel had quickly picked up on the fact that her feisty attitude with the male customers wasn’t an attempt at playing hard to get or to garner increased tips. As spymaster he recognized it immediately for what it was – a defense mechanism. She piqued his interest like a puzzle he wanted to solve. In typical Azriel fashion however, he kept to the shadows, never approaching her or striking up conversation. Only silently observing. 

It wasn’t until Celeste had met Nesta on one of her nights off years ago, drinking alone at Rita’s, that he had even entertained the possibility of knowing her. Their blossoming friendship had carried her into his circle with increasing frequency until it was nearly every other day that they were in each other's presence for one reason or another.

Azriel’s private struggle over a lack of a mating bond and his terrible habit of choosing unavailable love interests kept him at an emotional distance however. He had joined group nights out and laughed shyly at Celeste’s jokes with others without ever attempting to grab her attention. From the fringe of their friend group he had watched as Celeste transformed from the defensive and harshly playful female he first noticed into a confident, easygoing, empathetic and kind friend.

Once she had begun to discover her healing abilities, Rhys had generously offered to send her to Dawn Court for extensive training. As her time away from Velaris turned from weeks into months, Azriel had begun to realize what was missing from his life. Her. 

Every missed opportunity to approach her on his own and every gap in conversation she had purposely left open to him replayed over and over in his mind. He mentally kicked himself over the fact that he wasted so much time pining over others in the past. 

The week of her return from Dawn, Azriel had commandeered the healer rotation schedule from Madja under “official court business”. The first date that he had seen her name penned on the calendar was when he enacted his plan. One well acted slip during training with Cassian and the priestesses that morning left him with a nasty gash along his forearm and a healer was called to the House of Wind. 

The minute she laid her light supple hands along his deep golden skin he had nearly lost all nerve and backed out entirely. Minutes of silence on his part passed as she cleaned and stitched and bandaged, talking all the while to fill the void. When the last wrap of bandage was taped down and she had started to pack up her supplies, he rushed into action before he could lose his nerve again. 

“Celeste?”

“Hmm?” she purred softly, still packing her things.

“Would you join me for dinner tonight? Just the two of us I mean.” He stammered nervously. “Like – like a date.”

Her hands had stilled atop her bag after clasping it shut before she slowly lifted her gaze to him. Those dark tawny eyes meeting his had sent his pulse into palpitations but the smile that spread across her lovely face had threatened to stop his heart entirely.

She released a laughing sigh that was like the calming breeze after a storm. “I thought you would never ask,” she answered. 

The best part of the entire plan, according to Celeste, was that Azriel’s someone had already been invited to Solstice dinner well before Rhys and Feyre had extended their invitation through Az. Being a part of Nesta’s circle of girlfriends had left Celeste with a standing invitation for the last few years. 

“Are you sure no one has any idea?” Celeste questioned as she stood by the bed toweling her still wet hair.

“I’m sure about everyone,” he answered, calculating mentally. “Except Nesta. You really don’t think she would tell Cassian first if she thought it was you?”

“Absolutely not,” Celeste insisted. “She would have approached me about it before ever mentioning it to him. I’m positive.”

“And what makes you so sure about that?” He peered at her quizzically.

“Have you ever taken a peek at the books she’s always lending me?” Celeste raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes. The scar that spanned the entirety of her face tightened with her animated expression. “She would have come running to me first for all the details. She would have wanted to know all about—” she pulled her hands apart in front of her before throwing her arms out fully “ — your wingspan.” She flashed a wink before ramping herself up into a fit of giggles. 

Az let out a shocked huff of a laugh before pulling his palm down his face, color rising to his cheeks. “Mother above,” he sighed. 

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, Celeste started shooing him off the bed with her towel. “Az, you have to get going. The shop will be closing soon and they said they are holding the rings for us. Go!”

“Alright, alright. I’m going,” he teased with his hands up in playful defense. He pushed himself up to stand and then gracefully swooped his arms around Celeste’s waist, pulling her body against his. “A kiss goodbye at least?”

“You’re coming right back,” Celeste narrowed her gaze in a comical frown but leaned in with sincerity, brushing her mouth gently over his before nipping at his bottom lip. Her eyes darkened with promise, “Hurry.”

The promise of that word hung in the air as Az grabbed his coat and headed out of the apartment. Unfortunately he knew that he wouldn’t be able to join in on that promise, at least not before dinner. He had to stop home for one last thing after the shop and his return would cut it close to when they had timed their departures. 

Kicking off from the cobblestones on the corner in front of the apartment building Az launched into the air. He made quick work of locating the jewelry shop just a short flight away. It wasn’t the one that Rhys often frequented for his mate’s jewels but it was the only one open this late on Solstice night. It didn’t matter to Azriel though, as long as Celeste was happy.

She had gotten this idea in the final hour of their planning, which had forced them to rethink nearly the entire plan. The joy that had radiated from her at the thought of being able to pull it off was well worth the hassle. Azriel had been sent out in search of an open shop that could fulfill their request last minute which luckily didn’t take as long as he thought it would have. A pile of coin and two hours later he was walking out of the shop, the proud owner of two simple and plain gold bands. 

Azriel had insisted that they didn’t have to rush, he would give her the commitment ceremony of her dreams if that’s what she wanted. Celeste had teased him back that he could still do that for her even if their new plan went smoothly. Committing to each other was something they had spoken about before at great length. Their feelings for each other, mating bond or not, were serious and true. 

After arranging the pickup of the rings, she had told him very seriously that this is what she wanted. She didn’t want a huge party or ice sculptures. The fact that this was a surprise to everyone involved was thrilling enough. The only thing she wanted was to declare themselves committed in front of their family and to slip that ring on his finger. Celeste had even proposed the idea to adopt the usual mortal terms of husband and wife. 

“I like the sound of ‘husband’ so much better than ‘partner’,” she had said. “It feels better rolling off the tongue.” 

Azriel’s chin had dipped in a seductive grin. “There are other things I can think of that feel better rolling off the tongue.”

Slipping the newly purchased ring box into his inner coat pocket, Azriel kicked off once more, heading to his townhouse before circling back to meet Celeste one last time. This flight was longer, as he didn’t live in the downtown district like Celeste did, but instead closer to the quieter outskirts of the city. 

He glided smoothly through the drafts above the clouds. The path between the two dwellings was something he knew by muscle memory having flown it so many times over the last many months. Az allowed his mind to wander as it usually did in times of quiet. Spending so much of his life inside his own head had made the habit a hard one to break. 

Celeste’s face alight with excitement was the first thing that popped up. He felt his heart clench as he sifted through all the expressions and laughs she had produced tonight as she plotted out everything. The fact that the reveal of their relationship hadn’t happened until now was not lost on him. It was his hesitancy that had delayed this moment – her moment. The throb of guilt, knowing that he could have allowed Celeste this joy sooner, sent his heart into a squeeze.

[raayllum]

You Have A Good Heart — It's Super Annoying :: An Ezran and Rayla Meta

Forgive me for a moment, meta readers, for a quick anecdote.

Ages ago (aka pretty shortly after S3) I had plans to write an Ezran and Rayla focused meta, centred primarily on how the show highlights their unique bonds with dragons at different intervals and thus far (and honestly still now) with an emphasis that hadn't been doled out likewise to Callum. It was meant, therefore, to be a companion piece to my "Callum and the Dragon Prince (Zym)" relationship analysis, and is built upon a similar thought that Ezran and Rayla are fundamentally more similar to one another than they are to Callum. (Also just goes to show that procrastination can, indeed, last up to four years.)

Ergo, previous meta / thoughts you might want to consult if this is an area of interest:

Brief Rayla & Ezran parallels meta + headcanons

Ezran & Rayla parallels compilation (s1-s5), some of which we'll be going into more detail with

A short meta about how Callum is different from Ezran and Rayla (s1-s4)

For fun, this poem always makes me think a lot about Ezran and Rayla a lot too.

Now, this isn't to say that Rayla and Ezran are 100% or even 80% similar; they are very different, and I would say they're one of the few dynamics in the show that doesn't quite hit the foils mark, either (at least not to me). Nor is this to say that Callum and Ezran, and Callum and Rayla, don't have parallels or similarities. The brothers are both very compassionate, love each other and their father deeply, have many big feelings, are generally emotionally pretty open, and Callum takes on being Zym's caretaker when Ezran turns around to go home. Callum and Rayla's early arcs both have a great deal to do with coping with ideas around failure and familial belonging, and their arc 2 plot lines have been dominated by their devotion to each other and being pushed back onto paths (dark magic, assassinations) that they would rather leave behind.

Therefore, what I am saying that is that Ezran and Rayla are quite similar to each other in some really important, interesting ways, and that I think they are more similar to each other in terms of their Core characters than they are to Callum. Take it or leave it. Okay? Okay. With that out of the way, let's get into it

Core vs Presentation

One thing that I find particularly useful when it comes to discussing/analyzing characters, or when creating them, is the difference between a character's core vs their presentation. The most classic kind of example we see is the "jerk / bad boy with a heart of gold" archetype where the character's presentation is one way (outwardly prickly and/or mean) but their internal core (values, priorities, 'truest self' etc) is very warm, loving, and caring. We see it so often it borders on the point of being cliche.

However, it is useful in explaining just how much a character's core can differ from somebody else's, but their presentation might be similar, or vice versa, with their presentations being different but their cores being similar. And obviously even that is simplistic (characters can have pieces of one another's core but still be very different; for example, while Viren and Callum have a similar devotion to their loved ones, Viren does not always act on it and puts things above his loved ones - leading to theirs and his downfall - whereas Callum thus far hasn't put much above his inner circle, because he always acts on his devotion).

The reason I get into all of this is because I think that while Ezran and Rayla have different presentations, they have very similar cores.

Despite Ezran being more childish and cheery where — especially season one Rayla — is more gruff and impatient, Ezran and Rayla both have similar responses when it comes to forgiveness, their families / upbringings, senses of self worth, and their priorities.

But first, let's get some of the basic parallels out of the way. Ones with an asterisk * next to them will be expanded upon later in greater detail:

General Parallels

Not being believed (by Ruthari and Callum in BH and 1x08 respectively)

Not fitting in growing up

Following in parents' footsteps vs wanting to be different/better than your parents

4x08 gift giving being relational to their fathers, whereas Callum's is Ibis' staff

Arguing to give up hands as they perceive something as being mostly their fault (1x06, 5x08)

Going the nonviolent route in 5x05 vs Callum wanting to seek out the Nova Blade *

A thematic / social emphasis that never quite affects Callum in the same way *

"I knew I had to be strong alone." / "It's not fair you have to struggle through this alone." *

Now let's get into the specifics.

Upbringing

On the one hand, Ezran and Rayla had very different upbringings. Ezran never knew his mother before she died, whereas Rayla remembers, loves, and resents the parents who left. Ezran is given plenty of space to be a fun loving, mischievous little boy, whereas Rayla is playful too, but definitely more dutiful and devoting more time to training and taking it more seriously. Ezran believes that "it's okay to be afraid of things" whereas Rayla mandates that "Moonshadow elves aren't supposed to show fear, ever".

One isn't blamed for being a child:

And one is:

Now, part of this is context. While Ezran has decisions to make, his current ones (up to s1) haven't caused any harm or consequences. Rayla sparing Marcos and then lying about it (pre-binding spell too!) has gotten her team into a load of trouble. But where Soren reminds Callum of his youth to reaffirm that Callum needs to stay safe (much more in vein with Opeli) even if it's in a cruel way, for Rayla it is little more than a critique. She's a child, she had compassion, so she's weak.

This is also a critique lauded at Ezran ("You're just a little boy believing in fairytales" -> "This is a trick and a trap, you're a fool Rayla") in terms of their hope for peace. Likewise, Viren believes that if a child king leads them, Ezran will make 'weak' (aka bad) choices. In spite of their compassion being what they are most critiqued and punished for (Ezran is imprisoned for his abdication of his duty to try to spare people, and Rayla is exiled for sparing Marcos), this is ultimately what makes the difference in ending the war and protecting Zym.

With that in mind, let's talk about Ezran, Rayla, and

Dragons

Ezran and Rayla are both routinely shown to be more anchored to the dragons in a way that Callum is not in arc 1. This is shown in them agreeing with each other about Zym in 1x03 ("It has a mother and it needs to go back to her" "You're right, it wants its mother") even when Callum doesn't act until Ezran is put in danger, Ezran being Zym's tried and true soulmate whereas Rayla becomes the Last Dragonguard, and other little notices.

In arc 2, Soren arguably steps up to take the other half of the draonic-caring role (highlighted most notably by Rayla walking away from the drake in 4x05) in addition to Zym getting less plot focus. However, we still some of this overlap given that Rayla is the first to initiate the gift giving with Rex Igneous, and Ezran is the one to actually figure out what the great dragon wants. Additionally, when Rayla was at her best / not tamping down said self, we see that she does reflect Ezran.

One of my favourite little season four parallels was also the trio's responses to Zym's 'death' in 4x07 and Soren's an episode before, where Ezran and Rayla are the most distraught respectively (Ez stays optimistic about Soren, Rayla turns and mourns alone about Zym), and Callum steps in to look after both of them. Moving on.

That said, the parallel between Rayla and Ezran that sticks out to me is:

Blame, Responsibility, and Self Worth

One of the things that's stood out to me on my most recent S2 rewatch is how unnecessarily hard on himself Ezran is (which Callum verbally acknowledges in 2x03), and how much it reminds me of Rayla throughout the series. This isn't to say that Ezran's mental health or self esteem is as poor as Rayla's — he does have a better view of himself (good, however?), he processes and shares his emotions better, for example — but that they repeatedly use the same language and phrasing, and worry about similar shortcomings.

Ezran: I'm so sorry I messed up the plan. Rayla: Ah, you should cut yourself a break. Everyone messes up sometimes. Or in my case, all the times. (1x08)

Ezran: Corvus, I'm sorry I let you down as king. It only took a few days for me to mess everything up. (3x05) Rayla: I let you both down. I let the world down. (1x09) / Oh no, I messed up again! (4x06)

Rayla: Ugh, I'm such an idiot. I should've figured it out. She's not a healer, she's a fake. She's an illusionist. She can't heal anything. (1x09) Ezran: You knew? Ugh, I'm such an idiot. I should've figured it out! When we met you, you had two of those assassin-y ribbon-y things, but one of them fell off that night. (2x08)

We also know Ezran's super annoying good heart is something that Rayla has too ("I told him you were too good-hearted for the work of an assassin") and something she has various levels of self hatred for ("Rayla felt her heart turn soft in her chest in just the way she hated" —Chasing Shadows part 1).

The point, however, is ultimately that Ezran and Rayla tend to primarily blame themselves when things go wrong, they worry immensely about failure and letting people down, and that Ezran has a greater capacity for self loathing than I think we sometimes give him credit for.

For example, both Rayla and Ezran exchange themselves for Viren in S3. Ezran abdicates and takes Viren's spot in jail, though the mage likewise finagles his way into being king, which wasn't part of the deal, and Rayla tackles Viren off the Pinnacle even if that means also dying in order to save Zym.

That said, one of the main reasons these two are so hard on themselves is because of the amount of internalized responsibility they take on when it comes to their

Collective Priorities

While both care deeply about individuals — friends, family, strangers, animals — Ezran and Rayla most often prioritize the collective, albeit in different ways. We see this first hand in 2x09 when discussing Ezran's decision to turn home and prioritize being king of his kingdom:

E: Now that I'm king, I have to go home. Maybe I can help the world better from the throne. I can do whatever I can to stop the war. R: Ezran, returning Zym to his mother is the world's best hope. E: I know. And you guys will do that. You'll find his mom and Zym will take his place in Xadia, just like I have to take mine.

This is also reflected in how Rayla wants to stay behind in 2x07 for a stranger, Ezran reminds her they have to take care of Zym (and follows Zym down), and Callum follows Rayla down and does dark magic. We see this once again in 4x04 and 5x01 with their choices:

Opeli: King Ezran, maybe there is a way. Go with her. Ezran: But Katolis needs me. Opeli: The world needs you right now. The high council can take care of the people, I promise you. Ezran: You're right. The kingdom will be in good hands.

Rayla: I love you, and I haven't forgotten about you. But... I can't help you yet. Because right now, the world needs me. Callum and Ezran need me. A great evil is trying to return to Xadia and we have to stop it. At any cost.

We also see this in how they prioritize their own understanding of harm mitigation over Callum's, as Ezran and Rayla ally with each other over the prison vs Nova Blade discussion, even though Rayla was the one to tell Callum they should be looking into killing Aaravos in the first place. Now that both stopping the mage fam from finding the prison and going after the Nova Blade are on the table, Rayla chooses the former over the latter, reaffirming her and Ezran's 'violence as a last resort' whereas Callum sees it that way, too, but is more inclined to get there faster (since Rayla has made that mistake twice, and is trying not to repeat it.)

Season five doubles down on this Ezran-kingdom and Rayla-world set up yet again, with Ezran primarily thinking things through in relation to his duty as a king, and Rayla in the self-imposed duty she feels to the greater good, even if that means denying doing or feeling the things they want to do or need to feel:

Soren: You deserve time to do kid stuff. If you spend all your time doing adult stuff now, you'll grow up weird, like your brother and Rayla. Ezran: I don't have time to do kid things. I must gain the trust and cooperation of the dragons, and I shall not be deterred. So many people are counting on me to do my duty. [...] Every time I sit on my throne, I'm reminded of the immense pressure of my kingly duty.

Rayla: It hurts me to know they're trapped like this. It's agonizing. But I know our mission comes first. The world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused. Callum: We can help them. Rayla, we can undo this spell. Rayla: Not yet, Callum. Believe me, I want to do something, but [...] Callum, we have to leave! Callum: Two minutes, that's all I need.

From what we know in 6x01, this seems reflected in Ezran putting off looking for Zubeia until they have something settled on with the prison, Rayla agreeing with Ezran's verdict that the prison should stay hidden in Katolis for now (until Callum convinces her otherwise), and Rayla reaffirming that while she wants to free her parents, she won't let it bias her.

All of this honestly just makes me more excited because when Ezran's mental health starts to crack, it's going to crack hard and be absolutely devastating. What will Ezran's mental health start spiralling over? Well...

Fathers and Remembrance

Like Claudia, Ezran and Rayla are direct legacy carriers. While every character in TDP carries some kind of legacy or hold over from their past, some characters are more entrenched in it than others.

For example, Soren's occupation has — as far as we know — nothing to do with his father, so that has nothing to do with legacy, but Soren choosing to be a different man than the son his father wanted absolutely does. Callum sort of gets the inversion of this, as occupation wise as mage and particularly as a high mage, he's carrying the weight of Ibis, Claudia, Kpp'ar, Viren, and potentially the Jailer on his back. That's where legacy comes into play, as although he's very much Sarai and Harrow's son (and Harrow's letter is a legacy unto itself), he's not struggling with the same things they struggled with primarily outside of "how to break (or perpetuate) the cycle," which every character struggles with. If he was having an arc decidedly about being a warrior, leader, or ruler, it might be different, but his occupation is what his legacy is mostly about, which fits a character who's meant to be 'born normal' and ascend to great heights purely by his own merit, even if he has royal status.

Ezran and Rayla, meanwhile, are given both occupational and familial legacy to deal with, much like Claudia, namely because all three of these characters are shot down the line to carry their parents' — primarily their fathers' — mantles.

Harrow was king, so Ezran becomes a king ("So I've realized I don't have to be the king my father was [...] I don't want to be that kind of king"). Runaan was an assassin, so Rayla tries to become an assassin ("Is this right? The moonshadow assassin who isn't capable of killing?"; Lain and Tiadrin were Dragonguard, so Rayla becomes a Dragonguard ("Don't you remember who you are? You're the last Dragonguard"). Viren was a dark mage, so Claudia becomes a dark mage ("I have led my beloved daughter down this path").

We see this reflected in the gifts Rayla and Ezran offer to Rex Igneous, tokens of love and remembrance that they carry with them to remind them of their fathers, but are willing to sacrifice. We see this in the way that each want to honour their parents, but also want to be different than them (i.e. Rayla doesn't want to be an assassin like Runaan, mirroring Ezran's changing assertion of "I wish Dad was here, he'd know what to do" to realizing he can't solely look at his father in an idealized lens because of his mistakes).

Of course, their gifts to Rex Igneous highlight their interrelated trauma. Ezran lost his father because of Rayla's father. Rayla's parents were imprisoned by proxy because of Harrow through Viren. Rayla is going to get her parents back. Ezran? Well... not so much, but it doesn't stop Claudia from mirroring Callum in her offer.

We see this aspect of remembrance and loss and mistakes in S3 as well, as a good deal of the first half of the season emotionally deals with Ezran and Rayla coming home and finding not quite the circumstances they wanted. The primary father they wanted to be like (Harrow, Runaan) is fallen, and so they have to step into different roles. For Ezran, that means being a new kind of king; for Rayla, that means becoming a Dragonguard.

With all this in mind, we're wrapping in similarities (though I'm sure there's some I missed or didn't touch on much, like the "the crown is a heavy burden" and "There's a burden I'm carrying" y'know?) but for now, onto the

Differences

Shorter section as these are more obvious, and I'd expect apply to both surface level and core aspects. Ezran's never been as prone to action/violence or being super active, Rayla's mental health is still somewhat in a ditch whereas Ezran's holding on (by a thread maybe but a thread nonetheless), Stella is the only animal Rayla's had a very close bond to meanwhile Ezran bonds with every animal, etc etc.

That said there are two I want to highlight in particular.

The first, like I've already alluded to, is that Ezran is better at holding and thinking of dualities in terms of priority and in terms of emotions (even if sometimes he can barrel on a bit too fast, like in 4x03). For example, when heading up the Cursed Caldera, Ezran is the one who mentions her hand (fittingly, since if she loses, it'll be for him):

Ezran can hold and prioritize two things at once. To help break the cycle, you have to hold love and pain in your heart at the same time. Upon inviting Zym and Zubeia to Katolis...

Corvus: But is this really about changing the world, or is it just an excuse to see Zym again? Ezran: Can't it be both?

Ezran is, of course, likely going to initially fail at his own challenge of thinking about Both when it comes to Runaan, prioritizing his pain and love over Rayla's, but the point stands that Ezran is usually better at focusing on what can and what needs to be done.

Ezran felt bad for Rayla and her fear of water, but he knew she could face the fear again. He was about to encourage her to cross the bay when Callum jumped in. “You know what?” Callum said. “We’ll just walk around it somehow. With our legs.” Ezran couldn’t believe what he was hearing. But thankfully, Rayla shook her head no. (—Book 2: Sky novelization)

Rayla, meanwhile, tunnel visions, and tunnel visions hard. When Ezran brings up her hand, she tells him, "Don't worry about my hand, the egg is all that matters." When she goes to save Pyrrah, she states, "It doesn't matter what happens to me, live or die, this dragon goes home." She destroys her relationships in the name of killing Viren and puts herself at risk, and it takes two years to come back and start making amends and recovering. Where Ezran's passivity shifts to carefully weighing things and making pretty measured decisions most of the time, Rayla's tendency to not consider anything but the immediate goal in front of her routinely gets her into trouble... such as abandoning a mission to save an individual (Harrow + the egg, Pyrrah, the Dragon Queen) no matter what the personal cost.

On that note, we also see Ezran directly reject the worst of Rayla's more toxic mindset, re:

The other difference that I noticed, particularly in S5, is that Rayla knows not everyone has a good heart, even if she expects someone to:

Ezran, meanwhile, continues to see the best in everyone even when being told it's unlikely.

Both these perspectives are good and bad circumstantially, and both can get them into trouble, but it's an interesting one to me to say the least.

Conclusion

Overall, I hope you enjoyed this dissection of Ezran and Rayla's similarities, contrasts, and flat out differences. I don't think we'll see a lot of their bond in S6 as we got to see in previous seasons, but fingers crossed for S7! As always thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.