#but i wanna try keep up
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Goretober day 1: cannibalism
#goretober#goretober day 1#cannibalposting#gore posting#my art#digital art#rushed as hell cause i mossed a day oops#but i wanna try keep up
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Zelda goes mushroom girl
#tloz#a link to the past#zelda#link#my art#I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea#I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd#if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though#anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends#like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder#they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it#in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth#and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh
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Do you have any final theories/desires for Book 7 Part 12?
(slamming fists on table) I DEMAND MORE CHE'NYA
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#to be fair i am always in a state of lowkey wanting more che'nya#let him crash cater's pizza party!!!!#i wanna see cater skateboard up that big ol' tower to slam some za with a neon purple cat#truly this is the most radical dream yet#golly. i do try not to speculate too much but the 3-part split has me VERY intrigued#like yeah it most likely is just because hearts has a lot of boys#so it's probably cater and one of adeuce -> trey and the other adeuce -> riddle#but i am curious what's gonna happen after riddle's dream. because we'll have the party all together#and we gotta segue back into malleus somehow...#man i was wondering if the subchaptering of the subchapters was a one-off or if it was gonna be a consistent thing from here on#i guess we're gonna be getting smaller but more frequent drops from now on?#i am into that (keep up the hype!) but i'm surprised that it'll be happening just...around other events#main story has become unstuck in time and is just floating around the schedule now#we're gonna be locked in battle with cater's subconscious while deuce is over there in a parallel timeline trying on crop tops#makes me wonder what's going on in that production schedule...#lemme see those gantt charts twst
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I try to pretend redemptions in reach | prints
#art#my art#pepijopa#arthur morgan#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#thought abt how arthur keeps killing himself and the end is unavoidable and threw up<3 so have this#i wanna do more finished proper pieces and i am !! but also its always cowboys- i think ill try more illustration types again tho next#unless i draw my cowboy from rdo#rdr2 fanart#red dead redemption 2 fanart#rdr#red dead redemption#fanart#arthur morgan fanart#painting#cowboy#western#cowboy art
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Hey Have you also been thinking about Tiger, Tiger by @pepurika non-stop? Great! I've made a playlist because that is what happens when characters live rent free in my brain
#tiger tiger#tiger tiger comic#ludovica bonnaire#luck tiger tiger#elizabeths storytime#my fanart#pleeaaseee ive been so obsessed with this comic#i keep recommending it to people in my friend group BUT NO ONES PICKED IT UP YET#i will keep trying but until then they will have to hear me freakout about new updates with no context#also not alot of songs about sea sponges or discovering cool things on the ocean floor and thats immensely dissappointing#if any of you make more tiger tiger playlists PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME I wanna imagine bad amvs
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_(>u<)/🩷\(O_ō)_
#resident evil 4#ashley graham#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#re4 remake#resident evil#scene Ashely#queue are lovely#lowkey hate this now but I wanna put at least one more thing out b4 my computer is gone for fixing so I touched up an older piece#I don’t care abt timeline this is whenever . 2006 or later EHO care sorry I just wanted to draw her in what I was seeing#as a kid who was into scene subculture ^_^ ismfof girl and breaking Benjamin boy#also we have water back finally after a month but no surprise it is not safe LOL deliver me … x.x#also so sorry I’ll try and me online now that things r slowly going back to normal. I keep saying that but I wanna make an effort to be#more happy and carefree 🧚♀️ love u all!
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Saying Sorry Will Never Be Enough
Feeling a bit angsty so I had this idea.
Danny is dating one of the Bats/Birds, and everything is going great, amazing even! They know each other secrets (from powers to everything etc), they have a wonderful place to live (even if its in Gotham), Danny is in college on the way to becoming a space engineer (and he does side jobs for unrestful ghosts), he's actually getting sleep again since leaving Amity Park, gets along with their friends and family (those who Danny or his partner still talk to, up to the writer), there is even talk about marriage and perhaps adoption/kids in the future between Danny and the Bat/Bird he's dating!
Everything is setting up for a good life in his future, something Danny didn't think could have after his accident. He was happy finally, and currently packing up his old apartment because he's moving in with his partner in a few days.
So he felt like his core was being pulled out of him when he opens his apartment door one day receiving a knock to find his parents, who had hadn't seen since they kicked him out of the house after coming clean about being Phantom (their words of anger and denial that their son was 'dead' and now a monster, still hurt)
Sure they didn't attack him or proclaim he's dead but still their last words and anger HURT.
Danny didn't give them a chance to open their mouths, both looking nervous and guilty, before he slams the door close and turns invisible, grabs his phone, and fly's out of his apartment to his partner's place in a panic attack.
His partner, isn't happy.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Who Danny is dating is up to the writer/reader#Danny is happy only to feel dread when he sees his parents at his front door#Jack and Maddie have come to try to make amends#does it work? idk again leaving it open for people to play with#they didn't attack him after finding out he's Phantom or proclaim him dead but they said some nasty stuff#Danny booked it out of Amity after that though not wanting to risk it#Danny's partner isnt happy to find their boyfriend in a panic attack after getting a sos text#its been a few years since he and his parents have seen each other#Danny and his partner relationship with their own families/friends are once again left open for the writer/reader to play with#Is Danny still friends with Sam and Tucker? Or have they grown apart after Danny left? Was Sam upset he 'abandoned' Amity Park/her?#Was Tucker upset too? Idk again leaving it up to anything#Is he still in contact with Jazz? Or has she been pushing him to try to talk with their parents only it keeps rubbing Danny wrong#IDK I felt angsty today and wanna make some people join me in my sad corner. Join me. Join me. Join meeeeeeeeeee -pats seat next to me-
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nice sword
#wanted to practice some metal rendering and its fun but good lird is it time consuming#i gave up halfway through and i feel like you can kind of tell but oh well i had fun#not entirely satisfied with this but i didnt really wanna keep working on it#i havent really properly sat my ass down and finished a drawing in months so i needed to at least try#cassia rainsong#my art#charr#gw2 charr#guild wars charr#gw2#gw2 art#gw2 ocs#gw2 oc#guildwars2#guild wars#guild wars 2#guild wars art#guild wars oc#cw blood#blood cw
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squeaky_toy_sound_effect.mp4
#im gonna end up giving half the hermits these animal noses bc they're too cute and fun they'll all look like goofy movie cast#its a sacrifice im willing to make tho#i wanna try to implement more fun and magical details and traits into my designs and not only base them on realism#god knows if something comes out of it#like. you know how in ancient mythology they mashed all the cool animals together in insane ways that make no sense? i wanna do that#about scar: idk if im gonna keep drawing him with this nose tbh. still haven't decided if i like it more than the normal one#might also come up with something else entirely too. that's always an option lol#like. maybe a more kitty nose? or ooh a big round lilo and stitch nose damn... really i should be drawing this and not typing whoops#hermitcraft#goodtimeswithscar#my art#sketch
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so,, Arcane huh?
#gonna try to do a bit of an art countdown till season 2 but lets see how well i keep up with that#ive got a list of characters i wanna draw prepped itll be cool maybe#art#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#jinx#arcane#league of legends#lol#jinx lol#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#powder#arcane powder#arcane fanart#undescribed
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Yesterday performance with Guo Hongxu, Ji Xiaokun & Cai Lu <3
#my art#link click#shiguang dailiren#shiguang#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#qiao ling#i'm still trying to deal with my mental state so there are no updates#I still wanna draw a lot of things from musical#I can't keep up with their speed :(#but all of them are adorable
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Alex and my farmer Cosmo (he/him)
#my replacement pen came in today ican finally start working on artfight attacks YAYYYYY#ive been clawing at the walls itching to get my ideas out for weeks#i drew alex with wavy hair in the second drawing bc i got his dialogue where he stops using hair gel and i hc he has naturally#wavy hair ^_^ i think it goes well with him softening up as u get to knw him.. now im just trying to work up the courage to give#him a bouquet lol. i keep flip flopping on whether i wanna play this file thru my oc or just fuck it and go self insert#but i like building little ideas in my mind for how my farmer would fit in pelican town and how they run their farm so i think ill keep thi#an oc thing. i have another file on pc since 1.6 isnt released for mobile yet so thatll be my self insert thing where plan on#shooting my shot with harvey. HES CUTE.. I LIKE HIM#cosmo seems pretty deadpan but only bc hes hardly fazed by anything and after working at joja for like 4 years. hes#desperate to touch grass. i think his personality would bounce off well with alex's since he comes off as arrogant to get a reaction#frm others and then u have cosmo whos like 😐👍. i like to think itd drive him up the wall LOL#he gets more of a reaction out of cosmo when he shows him his soft side which encourages him not to front all the time <3#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sdv farmer#sdv oc#stardew valley#sdv#sdv alex#alex mullner#doodles
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buck never knew how much he would love being pampered and wooed until tommy came into his life. the first time tommy gave him flowers he forgot how to form words, marveled at them, feeling cherished. he scrambled around his loft looking for something that could hold them. as the days passed and the flowers began to sag and wilt buck would stare at them like a sad puppy. eventually they died and he had to throw them out, and the next day there was tommy with more flowers and a gift and a sweet kiss. maybe buck swooned and started to fall in love.
tommy never knew how much he would love being treated like he was precious, cradled in someone's arms, cuddled in bed, being the little spoon, a treasure. he'd known physical intimacy but not like this, not as the one receiving all of one person's attention, focus and energy. his exes assumed that just because he was bigger, a firefighter, that he always wanted a specific role. buck didn't assume like that, and when he wanted, when he was craving it, buck was always there, able to hold him, pin him, ravish him. the first time buck picked him up and threw him on the bed he saw stars, it would've been embarrassing had buck not kissed him about it, telling tommy he was the cutest thing ever. maybe tommy dragged him back down for another kiss and fell in love just a little bit more.
#i cannot stop thinking about them#bucktommy headcanons#bucktommy#tevan#evan buckley#tommy kinard#ch: evan#ch: tommy kinard#otp trying to keep up#tv: 911#911 abc#911#my headcanons#saf.txt#saf rambles#every time i write shit i wanna delete it cuz i feel like i make no sense even to myself lol
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you can reply here with fanart requests/ideas or drop stuff in my askbox ✌️
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 fanart#bloodweave#astarion ancunin#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#[oc tag]#look - i just wanna make a lil zine of shippy stuff of these two idiots (affectionate) so help me come up with some ideas#tis the season#(or recommend some fics you've enjoyed)#i havent done an open call for art requests in a while so here's hoping this goes okay 🤞#lets try to keep this relatively safe for tumblr but if anyone has nsft ideas then maybe ill shove those to bsky :p#commissions and requests#audience participation
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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OMGGG Your latest smut fic is so amazing!!! The smut is absolutely delicious! but....the angst is breaking my heart so...could you please write a continuation or part two where the reader confronts Aventurine's dark internal thoughts and comforts them? A fic where they actually get him to believe that they love him for real, where they tell him that he's not a monster and that he wasn't ruining them.
You've got it ! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Aventurine x Reader
You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves. (Part 2)
Read part 1 here !
CW: dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), lots of mentions of death, passively suicidal Aventurine, violent imagery (through metaphors, nobody is actually physically harmed), intrusive thoughts, Aventurine thinks kind of vicious things about you (refers to you as "stupid", "brainless", "naive" etc), cursing.
Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!
Small note: Spoiler alert sorry, but you will not completely fix Aventurine in this fic. Making any real progress would take YEARS. The trauma he's gone through and his beliefs about his own humanity are EXTREMELY deep-seated, just one conversation would not be enough to make him truly believe he was loved. Super sorry since I'm sure that's not what you wanted (you specifically requested they "truly get him to believe that they love him for real", but this does still end on a hopeful note so I hope you won't be too disappointed (•ᴗ•,, ) )
Sometimes Aventurine gains enough clarity to remember where he stands. More importantly, he gains enough clarity to remember where you should stand. That is to say, as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, you are never keen on doing that.
In these moments of clarity, he distances himself. If you won’t do it, he has to. He needs to. He needs to even when he can feel the little pieces of him that you’ve managed to haphazardly glue together splinter into tiny shards again, even when it feels like every step away is a step walked on shattered glass. He can hardly be called a ‘person’ anyways, what does his suffering matter? He has already lost so many good things, why not add another loss to the tally?
He reads your texts, but he doesn’t respond. He hangs up on you the moment you call. By doing this, he makes sure you know he is alive. Both because he knows it would devastate you if you thought he died, but even more so to make sure you know he is intentionally ignoring you. He hopes at least some part of you hates him. He thinks part of him hates you.
But he can never stay away for long. Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. Thoughts of you always cloud his mind too much to do what is right. He reminds himself he will destroy you. He comes back anyways. He is too selfish not to.
And you welcome him with open arms every time. Sure, sometimes you yell. Sometimes you berate him. Sometimes you cry. But he never does something beyond the bounds of what you’ll forgive, even though he tries to. You’re patient to a fault. Though he feels bad, he never takes it fully seriously, because you always hold him with so much sweetness, even when your words are filled with righteous anger and justified hurt. You always end it by reminding him that you love him. Something clenches in his chest; something that is not his heart, because he has none. He claims he is sorry, but you both know he will do this again. He always does. You know he will hurt you over and over, even if you don’t know the extent. You know he will test you, that he will ignore you, that he will cling to you and that he will taunt you. You don’t know he will drag his claws through you and tear you to ribbons; you don’t know he will sink his teeth into your neck and drink all your blood; you don’t know he will lure you to sea and drown you. You are never aware of the true danger you are in.
Maybe that’s why you one day feel comfortable enough to corner the creature that has taken on the appearance of a lover. You sit down next to him in bed one evening after one of his many attempts to push you away, your expression grim. You look straight ahead, right into his dead eyes, unaware that a monster is towering over you.
“We can’t go on like this,” you say. For one moment, the crushing relief and devastation threatens to consume him, and he’s not sure which of the feelings is stronger. For one moment he can’t breathe.
He hacks our a laugh, his skin straining. Something is shifting beneath his flesh, something ugly and dangerous. He needs to leave and he needs to do it quickly.
“You’re right, we can’t,” he agrees, his voice a lot more steady than he feels. He feels the urge to grab you and shake you until you pass out. He feels the urge to suck out your life force until your body is an empty husk. He feels the urge to slam your head into the bathroom sink in the next room over. He feels the urge to shoot himself in the head, because he does not want to do any of that.
“I love you,” you say, unexpectedly. Or maybe it’s not unexpected. You always say such stupid, brainless things. (You say it with sweetness. The only sweetness he can offer in return is the sweetness of bacteria digesting rotting meat. Is the flesh his, or will it be yours?) He laughs again.
“I thought we were breaking up,” he says. Smirking, as if it’s funny. (It isn’t.)
“No, we’re really not,” you say firmly. He snorts.
“Maybe we should.”
You don’t answer. Instead, you come closer.
Get away, he thinks. Run, you fucking idiot.
You don’t have many flaws, but the ones you do have are insurmountably big. You are too forgiving, you are too kind, you are too selfless, you are too naive. You will kill yourself doing this one day. You will let him kill you.
Your arms wrap around him. He can’t help but relax. The thing lurking under his human disguise grows more restless.
“I don’t hate you,” you say, unexpectedly. And this one really is unexpected, because what made you say that? Your arms squeeze around him tighter. “I thought I was being obvious enough about that, but you’re so bad at understanding it.”
The feeling he has is the same as the feeling he gets when he realises a deal is going awry. You are the highest risk stakes he has ever made a bet on: will he ruin you, or will you ruin him? What you could do to him is so much more serious than death. He knows that he is holding a losing hand. He doesn’t even know what he stands to win.
You kiss his neck. He shudders.
“Why are you so scared of me?” you ask.
Scared? He is not scared. What an outright laughable concept. Neither of you are scared, but if one of you was, it should be you, but you aren’t, for some reason.
“What gives you that idea?” he chuckles, but his voice is not as steady this time, and he can feel his smile slipping. (What is wrong with him? He doesn’t want to think about it. The answer is always ‘everything’.)
“Your hand is shaking.”
It is, but that is not because he is afraid. Fear is a human response, borne from the desire to live. It is instinctual. It means kicking and screaming, it means clawing your way out of hell for the chance to see another day, it means fighting for the life you don’t want to end. He cannot die, you see. Death cannot occur twice. Just because his body reacts, that does not necessarily mean he can truly fear any longer.
(Then again, maybe his reaction does not come from the thought of his death.)
“I’m not scared,” he says, and his voice sounds a lot weaker than he had expected. You pull him closer, cradling his head against the crook of your neck. His blood is pulsing too quickly.
“It would be okay if you were,” you murmur. “I know you don’t know how to be loved. That’s okay. I’ll teach you. You just have to let me.”
Squash. Slice. Tear.
Maybe you are the monster. He can feel your claws prying his chest open; he can feel your teeth dig into his flesh; he can feel something that is not air fill his lungs. The biggest difference between you and him is that he devours, while you give. You painfully shove something back into the cavity meant to contain his soul, you pump blood back into his system, and you fill whatever gaps are left in him with something that is first cold but quickly warms.
(He realises, belatedly, that something is pumping inside his chest again. But it can’t be a heart, can it? He lost that so long ago.)
“I’ll kill you,” he manages through gritted teeth, claws digging into your shirt. It is not a threat. It is not a warning. It is just the truth.
“You think too much,” you admonish him. Your tone is as gentle as your words are cutting. “I wish you would trust me more. You’re so determined to ruin your own life, and I don’t like it.”
“That’s just how I am. Deal with it or leave.”
“I’ll deal with it, then.”
Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. He will destroy you. But you accept it.
He has tried time and time again to push you away, but he is weak. So incorrigibly weak, and though your flaws are insurmountable, his are all-consuming. He is a monster in all the ways that matter. But you stubbornly will not leave despite that.
(Maybe that makes him a little more willing to try to change his nature. Just a little. Just for you. If you will not leave anyways, maybe he could try to make his presence a little less torturous.)
“Just… please stop ignoring me,” you sigh, nuzzling into his hair. Tenderly, tenderly, tenderly, so tenderly it makes his skin crawl. Your claws are softly piercing into him and he is helpless, unable (unwilling) to fight back. “I can deal with everything else. I just hate it when you do that. I can’t keep going weeks without speaking to you. I know you have some kind of… weird ideas that I’d be better off without you, but that’s not true. I love you, and I love being around you. I can’t help you when you cut me off at every corner.”
Cut, slice, slash.
Something in him breaks. Something he knows cannot be salvaged. Something he knows you would not want to salvage. Something he is not sure if he wants to salvage either, now that it is broken anyways.
He breathes a shaky breath, his fingers — his fingers, not claws, not this time — digging into your back. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and he does not feel the urge to bite down. Though his eyes feel wet, it would not be enough water to drown you.
He knows your line of logic is wrong. He knows the fact remains unchanged: he is a monster of a man. He will ruin you. But maybe your presence sparks enough electricity to keep his heart pumping, just for a little while, and maybe he can wait until things actually start going downhill before he lets you go. Maybe he can remember how to be a human for a bit, maybe he can pretend he is.
“I just… don’t want to do something I can’t take back,” he whispers. “Not with you. You’re the… the only good thing I have left. I don’t know what I’d do if I…”
“That’s sweet, but I’m not as weak as you think I am,” you reply. “I’ve held out this long, haven’t I? Put more faith in me.”
He smiles.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
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My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3 Also reblogs are EXTREMELY appreciated the final push I needed to finish this was from a very kind individual who reposted and analysed my writing I've been riding that high ever since they did that ily bro
#[rawbin]#[aventurine]#[rawbin fanfic]#[by me]#aventurine x reader#Tried some sort of weird monster metaphor by bringing up werewolf vampire and siren imagery idk if that worked out the way I wanted but -#whatever part of the process is making weird decisions and learning what did and didn't work out#Not entirely happy with this but I wasn't with the previous part either so yolo I don't have the patience to scrap this and start over#Tried to make the dialogue sound like things real actual human being would say but idk if I succeeded#Especially when reader reassures him what person actually speaks so eloquently ?? not me that's for sure#And the part where Aventurine is like “😢 i-i-i don't w-w-wanna hurt you pookiebear!!!” he would not say that straight out#but whatever I'm tired and I can tell I will not be finding the motivation to work for this one more night#plsss continue sendinf requests guys it makes me happy#Currently working on qpps Aventurine (whoever sent that request I actually love you)#(reason it's taking so long is because I've written so much in the tumblr app and my phone keeps overheating so I need to take breaks HELP)#(I've learnt my lesson and will try to stick to writing in my notes app when I suspect I might write a lot <3)#Jesus these tags are an essay sorry I just CANNOT shut up I looove speaking I love it love it love it#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine hsr#aventurine star rail#hsr aventurine#aventurine#aventurine fanfic#reader x aventurine#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#hsr x you#hsr x reader#hsr#star rail
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