#but i wanna say it i wanna say it so fucking bad because this man has wished death upon me more times than he ever said i love you
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AN: bc I can't get the damn tiktok audio out of my head
CUZ I SAW THE TITLE OF THIS AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED SINGING THE EDITS IVEEE SEEEENNNNN BESTIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WE NEED TO BE TIKTOK MOOTS
“Can't get comfy,” he mumbled, lifting the hem of your shirt to bury his nose into your skin, the tip of it like an ice cube.
👁️👄👁️❓❓❓❓❓❓ WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR
“Sirius! Merlin, you're a handful,” you rolled your eyes and looked towards Remus for assistance. He was stretched on the other end of the bed, watching the two of you over his own book. Sirius’ feet were in his lap, tucked between his thighs for warmth.
?????? HES A BRAT???? HES A BRAT?????? 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 BRAT 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 IM FREAKING OUT
“But I love heeeerrrr,” Sirius whined, clutching you tighter. “Smells s’good,” he hummed.
HES SO ME IM LOSING MY MIND
Remus shook his head, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, dove. I tried.”
ME TRYNA FIND WHEREEEE WHICH PART YOU TRIED????? HEEELLLO you were like. Hajima 🤚 then left it alone???? REMUS IM GOING TO BITE YOU
Studying your hands as you wrote, groping beneath your robes to squeeze your flesh, nuzzling into your necks, whining pitifully in your ears.
Mans down BAD bad. GET THE FUCK UP
[...] before Slughorn kicked him out for being a nuisance.
😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰 HE FUCKING WHAT SIRIUS YOUR HORNY GOT YOU KICKED OUT HELLO????? ARE YOU JOKING ME
You'd even given Remus a full kiss when you'd returned to the common room, tugging at his lower lip with your teeth the way you knew Sirius liked, but only gave Sirius a chaste peck, leaving him dumbstruck at the bottom of the stairs.
See now that's a hate crime. That's just nasty behavior. I would NAWT be surprised if Sirius committed arson
“Because you cunts have been torturing me all day,” he huffed, but it was toothless, softened by the breathless edge of his voice.
BESTIE ILL SAY IT AGAIN I DONT GO HERE BUT WHAT THE FUCK IM FREAKING OUT IS THIS BIBLICALLY ACCURATE SIRIUS BECAUSE I NEED HIM BIBLICALLY HES PATHETIC PATHETIC SWITCH WHO HES A NASTY LIL SOBBY SUB
“You’re right, maybe you wouldn't have been such a needy brat all day.” Remus tickled the bottom of Sirius foot and he yelped, flipping over onto his back to try and bat Remus away, but you held down his shoulders, keeping his upper body in your lap.
I WANT TO BE SIRIUS ATP MANHANDLED AND TORTURED BY REMUS
Sirius gaped at you and Remus snickered. “That is the meanest thing you've ever said to me,” Sirius said, clutching his heart. “Like you don't even know me.”
Me and Sirius^ 🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝 trust
“This what you wanted, pet?” Remus said, spitting on Sirius' cock and stroking it with his fist. “To be smothered by us?”
In the words of the great Sirius Black himself WAHHH WAHHH IZ LIKE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY
“Hi, dolly,” Sirius hummed, drawing you up by the chin for featherlight kiss. “Ready to get fucked out of you mind?”
“Shh, there's our sweet girl. Rem’s gonna get his now, okay? Can you do that for him? Take it like a good little slut?” Sirius asked, petting your hair and smoothing a hand over one of your trembling legs.
OK OH WOW THERES THE SWITCH AHAHHAH IN FINE
Remus brushed his lips along your spine, still teasing your clit with his cock. “You always are, precious,” he murmured, straightening. “Just try not to wake the entire castle.”
I WANT HIM I NEED HIM WHAT IF I JUMP THROUGH THE SCREEN AND CLAW INTO THE FABRIC OF YOUR UNIVERSE
“You wanna come around our boy? Let him stuff that greedy little pussy full?” Sirius reached beneath you, his middle finger finding your clit like it was magnetized to it. “Absolutely dripping wet for us. Fuck me,” he praised, removing his hand to steal a taste before returning to massage quick, tight circles around the puffy bud.
HES SO NASTY FUCK I WANT HIM YOU OUT HERE MAKING MY HANDS SWEAT LIKE SHAKING MY HEAD LIKE IM INSANE KEKJDNSNNSJNSSJJSNNSN
“Didn't mean to be so rough with you,” he murmured, skimming your jaw with his thumb. “M’sorry.”
You can stop on my throat and I'd thank you
You shook your head, silencing him with another kiss. “I love you. That was amazing. You're amazing. If I wasn't 90% gelatin I'd tell you to do it again “
Me. Also... You can overstim me if u like 😋🤪✌️😗
The boys chuckled, Sirius climbing up to lay beside you both. You settled into your usual sandwich, Remus wrapped around your back while you nuzzled into Sirius' front, his arms draped over the both of you, and your legs all tangled together.
DESPERATELY need to see your take on poly wolfstar smut. sorry if thats too broad but youre an amazing writer and i just need to see you bring it to life.
had me at poly wolfstar 🫡
LOCKJAW | poly!wolfstar
feat. poly!wolfstar x fem!reader
CW: MDNI 18+, no plot just smut. oral, piv, dirty talk, cursing, softdom!Remus, switch!Sirius
AN: bc I can't get the damn tiktok audio out of my head
masterlist
Sirius was draped face down across your lap, nuzzling into the crease of your hip while his hands kneaded your thighs.
“Sirius, quit squirming,” you huffed, lifting your book to glare down at him.
“Can't get comfy,” he mumbled, lifting the hem of your shirt to bury his nose into your skin, the tip of it like an ice cube.
“Sirius! Merlin, you're a handful,” you rolled your eyes and looked towards Remus for assistance. He was stretched on the other end of the bed, watching the two of you over his own book. Sirius’ feet were in his lap, tucked between his thighs for warmth.
Remus tsked under his breath, pinching Sirius’ calf and earning an annoyed grunt. “Leave her alone, Pads. She has an exam tomorrow.”
“But I love heeeerrrr,” Sirius whined, clutching you tighter. “Smells s’good,” he hummed.
Remus shook his head, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, dove. I tried.”
Sirius had been a needy, pouting wretch all day. You woke up with his morning wood digging into your stomach, his hips twitching in his sleep as soft, mumbled moans dripped like honey from his lips. Any other morning, you would have taken full advantage of your drowsy, wanton boyfriend, but when you checked Rem’s watch on the side table, you realized the three of you were about to late to Charms…again.
And later in class, Sirius seemed incapable of focusing, every spare scrap of attention he had devoted to you or Remus, or both of you. Studying your hands as you wrote, groping beneath your robes to squeeze your flesh, nuzzling into your necks, whining pitifully in your ears. He even pulled you into his lap during Potions, his boner pressed against your uncovered heat for a dizzying, thrilling moment, before Slughorn kicked him out for being a nuisance.
At dinner, Sirius was practically eating out of your hands, desperate for even a little contact, an ounce of physical touch. By then, you and Remus had put together what was ailing your poor boy and started to play along, keying him up even further only to deny him the smallest satisfaction.
You fed Sirius grapes, bits of bread and cheese, but wouldn't let his lips touch your fingers. Remus rested a hand on Sirius’ lower thigh, tracing the bones of his knee through the hole in his jeans, but didn't dare twitch a finger higher, no matter how much Sirius whined and squirmed. You'd even given Remus a full kiss when you'd returned to the common room, tugging at his lower lip with your teeth the way you knew Sirius liked, but only gave Sirius a chaste peck, leaving him dumbstruck at the bottom of the stairs.
If you didn't relieve him soon, you feared he might combust.
You glanced up at Remus again, and he caught your eye. “Ready?” You mouthed, and Remus nodded with a sly smirk.
With deft fingers, Remus started massaging Sirius' feet and calves, increasing the pressure until Sirius was moaning against your skin, going languid in your lap with a pleased hum.
“That feel good, baby?” You cooed, running your fingers through Sirius hair. “Rem is so good with his hands, isn't he?”
Sirius nodded, his hips twitching into the mattress as Remus worked higher, pushing his thumbs up the back of Sirius' thighs in a straight line
“So tense, pet,” Remus hummed.
“Because you cunts have been torturing me all day,” he huffed, but it was toothless, softened by the breathless edge of his voice.
“Torturing you? I would never do such a thing,” you pouted, feigning indignation.
Sirius nipped at your hip before laving his tongue over the sting. “I know you felt me this morning,” he chastised, pulling down the waistband of your skirt to kiss along your hips.
“Yeah, I felt we were all going to get detention for being late to Charms,” you said, trying to ignore the blooming heat between your legs from his touch.
“Would've been worth it,” he grumbled.
“You’re right, maybe you wouldn't have been such a needy brat all day.” Remus tickled the bottom of Sirius foot and he yelped, flipping over onto his back to try and bat Remus away, but you held down his shoulders, keeping his upper body in your lap.
“You can't let him get away with—oh fuck,” Sirius' complaint was interrupted by Remus gliding his fingers between Sirius’ thighs, caressing over the thick ridge in his pajamas bottoms.
“You want me to stop him?” You asked, batting your lashes, and Sirius shook his head side to side vigorously, his hair falling across his face.
“Don't you dare stop,” he whined, canting his hips into Remus' palm.
“Poor thing,” Remus cooed, trailing his finger through the puddle of precum bleeding through the fabric of Sirius' pants. “Been suffering all day at the hands of our beautiful girl.”
You scoffed, unable to stop the grin rising on your lips. “Me? You were the one that wore that slutty little sweater vest.”
“It was temperate today! You were the one that conveniently forgot underwear this morning,” Remus shot back, winking at you.
“You what?” Sirius squawked, jolting upright to glare at you. “And you didn't tell me?!”
You shrugged, toying with the hem of your skirt. “Didn't think it was relevant.”
Sirius gaped at you and Remus snickered. “That is the meanest thing you've ever said to me,” Sirius said, clutching his heart. “Like you don't even know me.”
Remus shifted to lay between Sirius' legs, licking a stripe up his cock over his pants, distracting him from his tirade. Sirius collapsed back onto the bed with a moan, and you slipped off the edge of it before he trapped you beneath him again.
“Oh, we know you well enough, Pads,” Remus chuckled, mouthing at the head of his cock. “Don't we, dove?”
You nodded, stroking Sirius’ hair out of his face while Remus toyed with him. His eyes were half-lidded, cheeks flushed, fisting the quilt beneath him.
“Rem, don't tease me,” he whined, the muscles along his abdomen tight with the strain of keeping still.
“But you like it,” Remus said matter-of-factly. “That's why you kept up with whiny puppy-dog thing instead of just asking.”
Sirius huffed, looking at you for help, his green eyes pleading.
“We love you, Sirius,” you said, bending down to kiss his forehead. “And if you need something, just ask, yeah?”
“We're here to make you happy,” Remus added, dragging down his waistband of Sirius' pants to kiss along his hip bones.
“Just need you two,” Sirius panted, reaching for you while Remus licked up the smear of precum along his pelvis. “Please, baby.”
You unzipped your skirt and let it fall to the floor, showing Sirius the drooling, sticky mess between your legs that his desperation inspired, and he groaned, his pupils dilating instantly.
Remus chuckled. “Look how hard that made him, darling. Making a mess of himself,” he teased, though his eyes were locked between your legs too while his tongue traced over the root of Sirius. Another flush of arousal made you pussy throb, and Sirius practically whimpered.
“If you don't bring that sweet pussy over here now,” Sirius warned, grabbing you by the hip to tug you closer.
As soon as you kneeled back onto the bed, he yanked you over his face, throwing one leg on either side of his head so you were facing Remus, who had paused his own work to watch you through heavy lashes.
Sirius immediately laved his tongue through your soaked slit, a deep rumble of satisfaction reverberating from his chest when you cried out, bucking against his tongue.
“This what you wanted, pet?” Remus said, spitting on Sirius' cock and stroking it with his fist. “To be smothered by us?”
You felt Sirius nod, his tongue fucking into your sloppy channel with ruthless, hungry precision, his fingers digging into the meat of your ass to spread you open. Syrupy thick pleasure pulsed through you, making your toes curl and your head fall back while he drank from you, fiendish as a vampire.
“Take your blouse off, pretty girl. Let me see you,” Remus instructed, using his thumb to massage under the head of Sirius' cock, making him whine and twitch beneath you.
You obliged, fingers clumsy as your arousal deepened. You tossed your blouse off the bed, followed quickly by your bra, and Sirius’ hands immediately shot up to grope and paw at your chest.
Delicious, spiralling heat surged through you when he tweaked your nipples, his tongue moving to circle your clit, his nose pressed against your entrance. Sirius was a master with his mouth, and his eagerness only made him more merciless in the hunt for your release.
You leaned forward, resting on your forearms on either side of Sirius' hips, and licked a stripe up his cock, tasting the heady combination of Sirius and Remus' drool.
Sirius cried out, his hips bucking up at the unexpected contact, and you giggled, repeating the motion.
“I c-can't take both of you—” his protest fractured when Remus licked along his base, your mouth suckling the head, and his cock gave a hard lurch as more blood rushed south. “Fucking saints, so good.” He dove back into your pussy, sucking your clit between his teeth and lashing it with his tongue, payback for your dirty tricks.
You cried out, spine arching as he devoured you and you felt your peak start to build, a steady stacking of pleasure that grew more precarious, more overwhelming, by the second.
“You're perfect,” Remus hummed in appreciation, lifting from Sirius’ cock to give you a messy kiss, his tongue tracing your lips before licking into your mouth, making you loose your breath.
After a few moments, and a whine in protest from Sirius, Remus broke the kiss and turned his attention back to your needy boyfriend, finally taking all of him into his mouth with a smooth, practiced swallow.
“Merlin, Moony, fuck,” Sirius grunted. “So tight.”
You combed your fingers through Remus' hair as he sucked Sirius, earning a sweet hum from your sandy haired love.
“You're perfect too, Remy,” you cooed, trying to distract yourself from your mounting orgasm. “My beautiful boy.” You kissed along his jaw, feeling the tension and tremble as he worked Sirius deeper into his throat. You saw his hips twitch, his hands fisting the sheets. “Finish him off and then you can fuck me just how you like. How's that sound?” You purred in his ear and he groaned, creating a domino effect of moans as the vibrations worked through each of you.
You felt two fingers prod at your entrance and you keened, feeling Sirius sink to the knuckle and scissor your open with his long fingers.
“Shit, Siri,” you whined, rocking back into his hand while his tongue lashed your swelling bud.
“Want you to come all over my face, darling. Taste so good, need—fuck—need it so bad,” he mumbled against your sex, lapping at the creamy mess his fingers coaxed from you.
You rested your head on Sirius’ hip, watching Remus gag on his length through a rosy haze, the combined stimulus making your mind you fuzzy, your heart pound. It was too much, an onslaught of erotic sensation, and your body was pulling apart at the seams, nerves fracturing under the strain—
You came with a scream, trying to muffle the sound into Sirius’ skin as you shattered, a gush of moisture surging from you at the intensity. You were rendered matterless, a floating speck of dust, drifting on the current of the stars.
Sirius grunted beneath you, his muscles tensing in a wave, and he bucked hard into Remus' throat, the root of his cock pulsing as he came a heartbeat after you.
Remus took it all in stride, milking Sirius with his mouth while petting your hair as you came down, tethering you both to the earth.
When you were finished, you slumped sideways onto the bed, panting and slightly shaky from the intensity of it all. Sirius rested his cheek on your thigh, breathing labored and eyes closed, his face shining with your slick.
Remus pulled off of him with a pop. “Worth the wait, Pads?” Remus asked, kissing along Sirius’ thighs.
Sirius shook his head. “We could have done that at least three times since this morning, but noooo—”
You swatted his stomach and he chuckled, nipping at the tender skin of your inner thigh. You glanced up at Remus, who was watching the two of you with so much affection it made your heart twist.
“Come here, baby,” you murmured, and Remus leaned over, capturing your lips in an airy, open-mouthed kiss that stoked the dwindling fire in your belly. You could taste Sirius on his tongue and it made your head swim, your thighs clench.
“Think our girl is ready for more, Moony,” Sirius said, untangling himself from the two of you and stepping off the bed to retrieve something.
“Is she?” Remus asked, flipping himself around and bundling you into his arms, raining kisses over your face, neck, chest and making you giggle. “What say you, my love?”
“Please, Rem?” You whined, grabbing at his cock nestled between your bodies, already rock solid and hot to the touch.
“Oh, suddenly she's polite,” Sirius scoffed, swatting your ass as he climbed back into bed.
Remus chuckled, kissing you one more time before passing you into Sirius’ arms. You snuggled into Sirius’ chest, kissing along his tattoos, loving your two boyfriends so much you could hardly breathe around the fullness in your chest.
“Hi, dolly,” Sirius hummed, drawing you up by the chin for featherlight kiss. “Ready to get fucked out of you mind?”
At the same moment, Remus lifted your hips until you rested on your knees. Face down on Sirius chest, ass up. Sirius adjusted his legs so your feet were pinned beneath them, and Remus grabbed your wrists to fasten them with Sirius’ tie behind your back, seamless in the only the way the two of them could be. Like they shared the same, filthy mind.
It made your cunt clench around nothing, your knees weak beneath you, desire pumping thick and sludgy through your blood.
“Oh fuck,” you moaned, squirming in their hold until you felt the head of Remus' cock tap against your still-sensitive clit.
“Shh, there's our sweet girl. Rem’s gonna get his now, okay? Can you do that for him? Take it like a good little slut?” Sirius asked, petting your hair and smoothing a hand over one of your trembling legs.
You nodded, burrowing into Sirius' neck to ground you. “I'll be good,” you answered, and both boys cooed in approval.
Remus brushed his lips along your spine, still teasing your clit with his cock. “You always are, precious,” he murmured, straightening. “Just try not to wake the entire castle.”
In one, brutal thrust, Remus slammed into you, his hips slapping against your ass with a definitive smack. You cried out, the sound barely muffled by Sirius’ skin, as pleasure streaked beneath your skin, frying the last functioning neurons in your brain. The maelstrom of feeling only increased as he fucked into you, ruthless and rutting.
“Fuck, Moony. Look at our girl, takin’ it so well. Aren't you, darling?” Sirius caressed your cheek, dropping a kiss into your hair.
“Yes—mmph—fuck, so big,” you mewled, fingers tensing around the tie securing your wrists, your whole body desperate to move and release some of the compounding energy that was drowning you alive.
“So fucking tight, Pads. Squeezin’ the hell out of me,” Remus grunted, his grip almost painfully tight on your hips. But you barely registered it, completely awash in the seizing, spiraling ecstasy taking over your body, dragging you closer and closer to the edge.
“You wanna come around our boy? Let him stuff that greedy little pussy full?” Sirius reached beneath you, his middle finger finding your clit like it was magnetized to it. “Absolutely dripping wet for us. Fuck me,” he praised, removing his hand to steal a taste before returning to massage quick, tight circles around the puffy bud.
“Please, please, please,” you chanted, fucking back into Remus as you chased your high, feeling him hit every angle, every inch of your stretched out cunt.
“Go on, dove. Come for us,” Remus gruffed, reaching forward to fist your hair and pull your head up, your cries of ecstasy ripping through the air.
Sirius grinned, kissing the tears as they rolled down your cheeks. “So fucking beautiful,” he said, his free hand wrapping around your throat. “Let go, love.”
And you did, your orgasm slamming into you like a branch of the Whomping Willow, knocking your soul out of your body and into the stars. You were nothing, everything, a mindless tangle of flesh and blood and feeling, the only tether you had was your boys hands on your body, Remus’ cock swelling and the scalding heat as he painted your insides.
You collapsed onto Sirius, breathless, boneless, so sensitive that even the brush of his hair was agony, the thump of his heart like a roaring train.
“Sh, sh, sweetheart, I’ve got you. You did so well, all done now, dolly. You were such a good girl for us,” Sirius shushed, his voice growing clearer as the fog lifted. You were crying, trembling in his arms as the pleasure worked itself out of your system. “She's alright, Rem,” you heard him say, and that was enough to bring you fully back to the present.
You turned to look at Remus, who was watching you with a worried crinkle in his brow, slumped against the pillows at the other end of the bed, chest heaving and sweat dripping down his scarred chest.
You wiggled out of Sirius' hold and threw yourself onto Remus, kissing him with a much strength as you could muster until you felt him smile.
“Didn't mean to be so rough with you,” he murmured, skimming your jaw with his thumb. “M’sorry.”
You shook your head, silencing him with another kiss. “I love you. That was amazing. You're amazing. If I wasn't 90% gelatin I'd tell you to do it again “
The boys chuckled, Sirius climbing up to lay beside you both. You settled into your usual sandwich, Remus wrapped around your back while you nuzzled into Sirius' front, his arms draped over the both of you, and your legs all tangled together.
“I need to shower,” you grumbled, feeling Remus' release trickle onto your thigh.
“No, you need a cuddle,” Sirius retorted, already sounding half asleep.
“I could get us into the Prefect bathroom,” Remus suggested, and Sirius snapped awake.
“Why didn't you say that sooner!” He cried, shoving you both towards the edge of the bed. “Let's go, you lazy asses!”
You and Remus groaned, but let Sirius drag you up and wrap you into your robes.
Looks like you'd be sleeping in tomorrow, too.
Thank you so much for reading!
#Im fine its fine#wolfstar huh#✍️w✍️o✍️l✍️f✍️s✍️t✍️a✍️r✍️#k#marauders#wolfstar#poly!wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar smut#remus lupin smut#sirius black smut
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It’s so sad how mullet Stan lacks content of him 😭😭I wish there would be more fics of him so that’s why im gently asking you to give us more mullet Stan crumbs, it can be anything, headcanons or fic 😔 I will eat everything you’ll serve
⤿❝ Mullet!Stanley x reader headcanons (sfw & nsfw)⭑
a/n: agree i agree just yeah 10000% ! traumatised guys with mullet, bad habits and abandonment, daddy and mental issues are my weak spot
sfw
ᯓ★ he’s terrified of commitment but more terrified of being alone. he’ll push you away just to see if you’ll stay. he wants to trust you, but he doesn’t trust himself
ᯓ★ when he finally realizes you’re not leaving, he clings hard. like, once he’s in? he’s all in. but the idea of starting a family? he wants it so bad but so scared of it. he doesn’t want to turn into his father. he’s aware of his emotional instability and the last thing he wants is to pass that onto a kid. he doesn’t even trust himself to be a good partner, let alone a parent
ᯓ★ despite everything, still has a soft spot for kids but refuses to admit it. will grumble and complain but the second a little kid looks up at him with big, teary eyes, he’s sighing and handing over the last piece of his candy bar
ᯓ★ he is a literal stray, a stray dog that growls when you first bring him home but now follows you everywhere. you don’t date mullet!Stanley, you accidentally adopt him. this man has no home, no direction, no plan. he crashes on your couch “just for a few days, toots, promise” and then six months later he’s still there, wearing your robe, drinking straight from the juice carton
ᯓ★ acts like he doesn’t care but is secretly the most doting boyfriend. will fix your car, carry your groceries, give you his jacket when you're cold, all without asking. he just does it
ᯓ★ he doesn’t take care of himself. showers once every few days, drinks too much, smokes too much, eats like shit. if you ever cook for him it breaks him, he just stares at the plate because it’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever done to him, “you made this? for me?”
ᯓ★ road trip king. you wanna run away? hop in, sweetheart, we’ll figure it out on the way. the kind of guy who drives with one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh. he’s got half a pack of smokes, a cassette of shitty rock ballads and a mouth full of sweet-talking bullshit
ᯓ★ as i said, he acts like he doesn’t give a fuck but actually gives too many fucks. will pretend he doesn’t care when you get mad at him, but the second you turn away, he’s overthinking. “fuck what did i say? shit, why am i such an asshole?”
ᯓ★ if you tell him you love him, he always hesitates before saying it back. not because he doesn’t feel it, but because he doesn’t think he deserves it
ᯓ★ literally stunned when you take care of him. like, someone is doing something NICE for him??? with no ulterior motive???
ᯓ★ absolutely a ‘leaning’ boyfriend. leans against walls, leans against doorframes, leans against you. big strong arms wrapping around your waist from behind, head dropping onto your shoulder with a sigh
ᯓ★ survives off diner food, gas station snacks, and whatever you make him
ᯓ★ gets nervous when you’re nice to him. he’s been kicked down so many times, he doesn’t know how to handle kindness. the first time you tell him he looks good, he scoffs, says something self-deprecating, but then stares at himself in the mirror later, touching his face trying to see what you even saw in him
ᯓ★ secretly loves being babied. if you push his messy hair back, clean his cuts when he gets into a fight or tuck yourself into his side when he's sitting down, he fucking melts. “psh, ya don’t gotta do all that,” but his ears are bright red
ᯓ★ will steal anything for you. “ya like that necklace, sweetheart? consider it yours.” he’s a walking, talking, petty thief boyfriend who just wants to see you smile
ᯓ★ lets you play with his mullet when he’s feeling lazy. sits between your thighs while you brush it and if you’re gentle enough, he’ll doze off right there, resting his head against your stomach
ᯓ★ loves his car more than he should. will drag you to the garage to show you how he’s fixing up some old junker, but he looks so proud, you can’t even complain. bonus: he makes you sit in it for a “test drive” (he drives too fast just to see you scream and laugh)
ᯓ★ hands always busy. even when you’re just sitting together, his hands are moving, tinkering with something, rubbing circles on your thigh, tapping on table. he's anxious stressed guy
ᯓ★ he falls asleep anywhere instantly. he’s had years of shitty, uncomfortable sleep, so at this point he can knock out in two seconds flat. the first time you see it happen, you’re stunned. “Stan, are you seriously asleep right now—?” he is. sometimes, he falls asleep sitting up, mouth slightly open, arms crossed. if you try to move him, he’ll grunt, shift slightly and keep sleeping
ᯓ★ he’s a sucker for physical affection but doesn’t know how to ask for it. please, just hold him. run your fingers through his hair, rub his back, let him rest his head on your chest or stomach. sometimes, he’ll just stand behind you and wait until you notice and pull him into a hug. he won’t ask, but he needs it
ᯓ★ this man does not know how to handle being desired
nsfw
ᯓ★ he’s big. everywhere. broad chest, thick arms, a cock that barely fits. “c’mon, baby, you can take it. just a little more, there we go.”
ᯓ★ he’s a messy kisser. tongue, teeth, biting, groaning, he devours you. Stanley makes out like he’s trying to fuck you with just his mouth. his hands are always gripping your face, your neck, your hair, he’s desperate
ᯓ★ he loves fucking in places he shouldn’t. against the car, in an alley, in the backseat, behind a bar, on some random motel dresser, doesn’t matter. the risk of getting caught gets him off. zero patience. too horny to wait, too desperate to care where you are
ᯓ★ if you ever scratch his back? he fucking loses it. he wants you clawing at him, gripping his arms, pulling his hair. especially loves it when you bite his shoulder
ᯓ★ fucks like a guy who doesn’t know if he’ll ever get the chance again. so overwhelmed by how good you feel
ᯓ★ he groans and grunts. loud, unashamed. you know exactly how much he’s enjoying it because he never shuts the fuck up. if you try to shut him up, he just moans louder out of spite
ᯓ★ this man talks during sex. a LOT. filthy, filthy, filthy mouth
ᯓ★ but if you try to stifle your moans, oh, he won’t have that. “uh-uh, lemme hear ya, baby. don’t go all shy on me now.”
ᯓ★ he has an oral fixation, always has something in his mouth. a cigarette, a toothpick, his own damn fingers. pussy? oh, he’ll eat for hours if you let him. he’s enjoying it more than you are. his nose is pressed right against your clit, his tongue is buried deep inside you, his big hands are holding your thighs open so you can’t squirm away
ᯓ★ but what he REALLY loves? your fingers. if you put your fingers in his mouth, he’ll groan and suck on them absentmindedly. don't try to pull away, you’re not going anywhere. he’ll grab your wrist, keep your fingers between his lips and just look at you with those dark, needy eyes
ᯓ★ loves when you pull his hair so make sure to always grab and yank his mullet while he’s between your legs and he’ll groan into your pussy like he’s getting off on it
ᯓ★ the kind of man who will fuck you dumb just to make sure you don’t even remember anyone else’s name
ᯓ★ absolute menace with that tongue + so so messy. will spread your legs, settle between them and go to fucking work. licking, sucking, slurping, spitting on your clit, growling against your folds. doesn’t stop until you’re begging. “c’mon, sweetie, one more for me”
ᯓ★ absolutely gets off on how loud you are. doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night or the middle of the day, he’ll fuck you so good you’re screaming his name, he prefers it “Stanley” tho, not just Stan
ᯓ★ smokes like a chimney, including during sex. he’s the type to take a long drag of his cigarette while you’re riding him, exhaling the smoke lazily as he watches you bounce on his cock. “fuck, baby, keep goin’. look so pretty takin’ me like that.” then puts it out against the nightstand right before flipping you over and fucking you senseless
ᯓ★ smoking during foreplay too, pulls cigarette out of his mouth and presses it into the ashtray, muttering, “gonna put this out and focus on you, sweetie.”
ᯓ★ if you complain about him smoking too much, he’ll smirk, tilt your chin up, and say something like, “well, maybe if you keep me busy enough, i won’t need to smoke, huh?” such a brat tbh
ᯓ★ grabs whatever’s closest to tie you up. belt? works just fine. an old rag? perfect. (also wants to be tied up too)
ᯓ★ a tipsy Stan gets handsy, real handsy. he’s already got no shame sober, but when he’s had a couple of drinks, he can’t keep his hands to himself, your thighs, your waist, your ass
ᯓ★ praise him in the most filthiest way possible, call him big, tell him he’s stretching you out, tell him you’ve never had anyone fuck you like this. tell him how much you love his cock, how deep he is. he thrives on that shit, loves being told how good he feels. “fuck, baby, keep talkin’ like that and i might not last.” but he also LOVES teasing you. “poor thing, already dumb from my cock?”, “look at you, makin’ a mess all over me. filthy little thing.”
ᯓ★ i 100% believe that mullet!Stanley is a bratty switch who acts tough but turns into a desperate, whiny mess the second you take control. i think it needs its own post but ok
#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#gravity falls smut#gravity falls#stan pines x reader#stan pines smut#mullet stan x reader#mullet stan#stanley pines smut#stanley pines x you#stanley pines x reader#gravity falls headcanons#gravity falls fanfiction#gravity falls stanley#stan pines x you#stan pines x reader smut
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NEW POST FROM @sunnnypng
damn you .. i was thinking too much and got an idea . the vibe is like her by tyler, the creator. reader is early 20's ( NONCON ) side note im writing this high > :]
banner from @/cafekitsune
thoughts of you filled up in his head. he was hard.. no fuck hard, that was an understatement he was throbbing - his cock throbbed through his pj's as he scrolled through pictures of you. mmm - you and those curves, how did he get those pictures ? nobody knows but what we do know is that he jerks off to them.
" shit, why ? " he asked himself, he felt disgusted in himself but oddly enough he couldn't stop. while you had no idea this was going on, every time you saw him around the office he would drop his head in guilt. ‘ i wonder if he doing alright .. ’ was your thought every time you saw him. you started to think that you might have done something wrong and to him you did. how he felt was all your fault — was it really ? of course not but because he had this hard-on whenever he saw you it started to become your fault.
“ hi, sir ! i have your finalized contracts ! ” your smile, your voice, and your body — his holy trinity was right in front of him “ thank you, sweet girl … could you put them away for me ? ” you smiled, walking around his desk to he locked files box. “ i can’t help but notice you’re struggling .. here i’ll help you ” he squeezed behind you to help you put it in the right container. ‘ i blame you for this .. oh gosh i can’t right now — not right now ‘ he told himself as he started to grow. “ sir ? is that — ” you were cut off by his hand over your mouth, “ i’m sorry i didn’t mean for this to happen … i’ve been having inappropriate thoughts about you — thoughts that are so bad i can’t even say them .. oh gosh the things i wanna do to you right here right now but i can’t because i dont wanna get caught but at the moment i dont care about getting caught all i care for is to see how nice your cunt feels. i went stalking and found some absolutely stunning photos of you that made me think, wow, i could do a lot of things to you — i could eat - gosh, your flesh, mm your flesh, or maybe i could sneak into your apartment late at night and fuck you in your sleep .. ”
you froze at his heavy breathing “ i know y/n i’m a vulgar man i know and im sorry but please stay right here for a bit longer ” too afraid to move you stood there as he slowly started to move his clothed cock on your ass. “ i’m a pervert , whenever you bend over to put files away i look under your skirt to see what panties you have on .. ”
his fingers slid under your skirt as you begged him to stop but your words fell on deaf ears — “ i know saying sorry won’t cut it .. oh gosh please forgive me ” his cold fingers were now playing with your cunt as he placed kisses on your neck. you felt dirty but the way his fingers brushed against your clit had you biting your lip “ let it out little one ” his voice was so soothing ‘ gosh i hate him ’.
#. brandy’s writing :3#tw noncon#x reader#x black reader#x chubby reader#dark content#aot smut#jjk smut#bleach smut#csm smut#naruto smut#eren smut#anime x black!reader#geto smut#nanami smut#gojo drabbles#anime x reader#gaara smut#kishibe smut#gaara drabbles#gojo smut#aki smut#toji smut#kakashi smut#itachi smut#drabble#anime x chubby reader#nanami drabbles
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Jiwoong being mad at u… he’s so hot I need to be manhandled by him
ouhhh jiwoong always brags about being older and wiser.. but you still always manage to get under his skin. maybe it’s not always the wiser decision, though.
“why aren’t you touchy anymore, y/n?” the dark haired man asks from above you. his large cock is shoved deep inside your cunt while your wrists and restrained by just one of his hands. “i thought this is what you wanted, baby?” he says as your belly tightens
you knew it was a bad idea to tease Jiwoong in public. but you couldn’t help your hand moving up his thigh under the dinner table, making him choke on his steak. you should’ve known you would be in this position now by the look he gave you.
Jiwoong is fucking you harshly. his cock slides in and out of you rapidly, giving you no time to adjust to his size. even worse, you’re not allowed to cum. whenever he felt your orgasm coming, a feeling he was familiar with, his movements stopped. you whine and cried but all for nothing.
“you make me so mad” jiwoong kissed his teeth as you looked up at him. even upset with your behaviour, he couldn’t help but still admire you. your teary face, mascara stains under your glossy eyes, mouth slightly agape and chest full of little bites and kisses. he loved everything he was seeing. but why couldn’t you just behave?
the older man slid his hand under your back and with a singular movement shifted you on your stomach. he picked you up by your hips, adjusting your position to go back to abusing your sensitive pussy. he threw you around as if you weighted nothing. “please… wanna cum” your cries were partially muffled by the bedsheet beneath you, but your man heard you loud and clear.
he lovingly kissed your back as he gave you the okay. the orgasm that ripped through you was necessary, as you felt that if it got denied one more time you would explode. your legs felt weak because of the friction, so much that you plopped down the second Jiwoong let go of you.
#harunade#zb1 hard hours#zb1 hard thoughts#zb1 x reader#harunade jiwoong#jiwoong x reader#jiwoong smut#zb1 jiwoong
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I wanted to comment as soon as I had read it but I was too busy bouncing off the walls of my home, you know just the average girl dinner reaction.
“then he will wrap his big strong arms around you, and squeeze until he can feel your ribs snap.”
Uuuhhh that’s a real intimate way to kill someone Joel, you sure it ends in reader’s my death? Hmmmm, keep telling yourself that. I was literally so gagged when the reader duct taped the remote to her own hand. I was like we didn’t know we had a genius among us.
I’m growing OBSESSED with Joel’s voices. At least, someone loves us out here.
Give’er a lil kiss.
YEAH GIVE ME A SMOOCHIE SMOOCH.
I was so sad that we almost got shot man Joel better be very fucking grateful AND a twisted ankle for his stupid jerky.
UGH and the flashback fucking killed me. I was so heartbroken for her, I knew something bad was there in the past because it was hinted in Part 1 but knowing her brother was in on it somehow was shit shit shit.
We’re really committed to mister-man, forgetting the pain in the ankles when he’s all sad and depressed.
PUDDIN’. Because every Disney princess deserves a pet sidekick even the crazy ones. And I love how smart it was hahahaha playing dead when she was having a moment.
“Skin peels back like overripe fruit.”
Uh yuck but apt.
Ugh this was all Joel’s fault really man why’d you have to insist on meat???
“Joel would beat your face bloody,” WITH KISSES
“and bludgeon your chest in until it caved” WITH LOVE
“What’s that? Fresh meat finally—”
STOP BEING OBSESSED WITH MEAT THAT’S OUR PET.
OBSESSED OBSESSED OBSESSED with Joel’s inner voice. At least SOMEONE is honest around here.
You are in fact insane, but he made you stop crying.
sigh dream man, honestly. It’s all a girl could want.
“Joel’s blood runs cold like ice… who the fuck are you talking to? Or about?”
bitch YOU! Ya think she’s gonna kill her pet? Naw.
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” you say softly, finally meeting his stare head-on. “I just wanna feel normal again…” Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Yeah Sug, keep that to ya’self. You feel ashamed, real shame, uncomfortable for sharing too much, and now the voices are agreeing with each other? That’s never a good sign. You’ve done something wrong.
Fucking teared up at that bit. We have done no wrong. EVER. She deserves to feel normal, no shame and discomfort in that.
Look'it that, ya went'n made her cry! For what!? She's just trynna be nice t'ya! Jus' like she said. She wants a lil boyfriend, someone t'snuggle up with at night-- like a normal person!
YES YES YES. Listen to the voices inside your head Joel. Is it wrong for me to be so fucking excited for Joel to learn about her past? Because I am. I am SO fucking excited for it. I want him to lose his absolute shit.
Ya’ want that sad lil puppy t’come over here, dont’chya?” He does, oddly enough. You being crazy was better than you giving him the cold shoulder, like he wasn't even there.
JUST GIVE INNNN. Admit you want us so badd.
It’s ‘cause you don’t wanna kill ‘er. Ya’ wanna be deep inside that tight, wet, warm perfect hole.
AKDFSLGNSRKLAWNIRJGBAWOGEJFAWL wow give it up for mister honesty here.
like Joel’s played some terrible prank on you and you just found out.
My heart fucking clenched. I feel so bad for us.
“Ya' wanna be m'crazy girl? Like Harley Quinn?”
FROTHING AT THE MOUTH YES.
Never would I have imagined we would have the most delicious sex with oven mitts on. PERFECT fucking chapter, so scrumptious.
Part 2- Cave In
Series Masterlist | Part 1
Summary: After the civilized world you once knew came to an end-- the men that survived... well they just take, take, take. Growing tired of having things taken from you-- you have a hankerin' to take somethin' for yourself... and make him perfect.
content warnings: Reader (no descriptions besides having hair that can be pulled) is in a weird mindset; hears voices, talks to herself. non-con/dub-con (if you're looking for enthusiastic consent, ya wont find it here) smut, cock-warming, unprotected P in V, creampies, oral (m&f receiving), rough sex, dirty talk, pussy and peen pronouns, alcohol consumption (altered mental state). Joel wears a shock collar and other various horrible things that would keep him in check-- and he doesn't fucking like it.
Reader warning- flashbacks of readers graphic and sad past!!!
While it looks real pretty, this is a Dead Dove, Do Not Eat. If ya do and then come complaining to me that you ate a dead dove-- I'm gonna fight you. I warned you!
Joel’s mind drifts off to the days and nights he spent teaching Ellie how to play guitar– watching her learn, grow more confident in the way she held the instrument. Then hearing her play her first song is one of his favorite memories. He wonders what her, Dina and JJ are doing right now.
He wonders if Tommy and Ellie are looking for him– Joel can’t imagine they wouldn’t be. Not after what they did in Seattle a couple years ago. His daughter and his younger brother would come looking for him, and eventually they’d find him- and rescue him.
The three of them- Joel right alongside them, would kill you in the process, he’d make sure of it.
That’s all he can think about– being rescued and watching you die as you wrap a second layer of duct tape around the oven mitts on his hands.
As much as Joel hates you, he can’t deny that you’re resourceful.
With the shock collar still around his neck, and now, two pairs of oven mitts secured to each of his fists, Joel watches you untie his arms from the chair.
He is stiff, and misses the fucking sun. Joel just wants to the feel the warmth on his face- but he can’t really even think about that now, he’s thinking of all the ways he’s going to fucking knock you out the minute you crawl into his lap.
He’ll knock the shock collar remote out of your hand, headbutt you– a real one, he’ll go right for your nose and try and break it– then he will wrap his big strong arms around you, and squeeze until he can feel your ribs snap.
He’s got it all planned out- until he hears the sound of more duct tape ripping, and he wonders what part of him you’re going to tape next.
Joel watches in horror as you tape the remote to your palm, your thumb gingerly laid across the button that would shock Joel probably into next week. You wrap the tape until Joel can barely see the remote anymore.
You’re more resourceful than he thought, and that’s terrifying. Joel is almost sixty years old– he’s being outsmarted by some insane woman who lives in a mall in what now is the woods outside of Jackson.
How did you get here? Where’s the rest of your group or community? Joel hasn’t seen a single other person since he got here, and he hasn’t seen or heard you interact or say you had to go meet up with anyone since he’s been here.
There is no way you’re surviving out here all on your own on peanut butter, raspberries and whiskey.
“Let me go,” his voice croaks. “C’mon. Y’don’t really wanna do this.” He’s pleading. He hasn’t fully begged yet, not pathetically– which is what you must want to hear. You wanna hear Joel– the big strong man cry and whine and beg for you to let him go.
You drop the roll of tape on the floor beside your feet, “Got some rules ya’ gotta follow, Mister.” You ignore Joel, taking an inched step towards him. “Number one is ya’ don’t hit. You don’t hit– I don’t zap ya'. Sound fair?" You don't wait for him to reply. "Good. Glad we're on the same page.”
Joel rolls his eyes and is immediately met with an intense muscle spasm throughout the entire right side of his face, and down his neck. It spreads out over his shoulder and through part of his chest.
It lasts for only a split second, but it leaves Joel panting, his brow already beaded in sweat from just that short electric shock.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ– don’t fuckin’--" he starts to warn you with a stern tone and narrow eyes– but he’s greeted by your wet, stare only inches from his.
Your mouth opens and closes once, twice… three times before any sound comes out. “Stop makin’ me hurt you,” you whine, one single tear falling from the corner of your eye. “I really don’t like hurtin’ ya’-- I don’t wanna do it, so don’t give me reason to, right?”
Joel glares at you while deep down inside him somewhere his heart twists slightly.
Awww, look it’er cryin’. Cute lil puppy, alone, out here in the woods–
Joel blinks twice as you crawl into his lap, your soft, warm body pressing against his tentatively, as if you were waiting for him to start fighting you off, to start screaming and shouting at you.
He wants to so badly, he wants to feel his forehead connect with the bridge of your nose as hard as it can– but it’s like you hypnotized him when you curled up on his lap.
“Now ya’ wrap your arms ‘round me,” you breathe against Joel’s neck.
Joel fucking sighs at the feeling, almost wishing you press your lips to the spot directly behind his ear.
Go on, move your arms…
Fuck no! Something is seriously wrong with him, he needs to talk to someone besides you. He knows you’re a bad person; a good person wouldn’t do something like this.
Joel knows that if he puts his arms around you the way you want him to, he might start squeezing, and keep squeezing regardless of the pain from the electric shock. He’d seize up and wouldn’t be able to let you go, even if he wanted.
That might not be a bad thing though, either Joel would kill you, or you would kill him. It would solve his problem either way– and that was fine because he didn’t want to keep living like this. He couldn’t.
It would drive him fucking insane. He already feels like he is going insane the way he wants to kiss your neck, and suck on the spot where your collarbone ends, and your throat begins.
C’mon, fuckin’ do it. Ya’ know she wants it, give it to her– make her fuckin’ beg for it first…
Oh fuck, Joel knows that is the unstable part of his brain talking– and he has to shut it out.
You are Joel’s attacker, his fucking captor– the one keeping him from his family, the one he worked so fucking hard to get back. He might never see them again because of you. He’s thinking of all the ways he could hurt you–to hurt you badly, he wants to see you dead– but all those feelings of anger and hatred flee from his brain when you press the most soft, sweetest, barely-there kiss to his jaw.
“Thank you,” you murmur, resting your head on his shoulder. The way you sigh and melt into Joel, molding to him, has his head spinning for a whole new reason, and he’s completely fucking sober this time.
See big feller, ain’t that hard t’just comply.
Joel realizes only then that he has both of his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him, with his cheek resting on your head.
She ain’t t’bad, right? Smells nice’n sweet, like a pretty lady.
It’s so hard to hate you and want you dead when your soft, sleepy breaths flits across the skin on his neck.
“I have more movies–”
“Anything besides the princess movies- please,” Joel sighs, not removing his cheek from your head. “I can’t do the princess movies again, anything else…”
“Do you like Batman?” The action of you lifting your head off his shoulder is the only reason he pulls away from you. “The cartoons?”
Joel snorts, and nods his head at you. “I do– me ‘n Tom–” Joel stops himself from sharing too much with you for no reason whatsoever, his eyes dropping to your bare thighs.
It makes his mouth water when he looks at them, even though they’re bruised to hell, with fresh cuts and old scars adorning your supple, and kissable looking skin.
He can feel you looking at him, waiting for him to finish what he was about to tell you. His eyes flash up to yours when you question him.
“Who’s Tom? Whatta’bout him?”
Joel can see your desperation in your face and eyes–they're wide, still slightly wet with the tears from zapping him moments ago. You must want to know so badly, and he decides to use it to his advantage.
“Get me some meat– anything– n’ I’ll tell ya’.” Joel can’t help but smirk to himself because this is going to work.
Your eyes light up, and you lean in real close- the tip of your nose pressed against his. “Promise?”
Joel nods, his eyes locked on to yours, “Promise.”
Give’er a lil kiss.
Joel leans forward to do it, but you pull back with your brows furrowed and a scowl on your face.
“No. Ya’ punched me last time ya’ did that.” You whisper at him, still frowning.
“Sorry f’that-” Joel starts but you don’t let him finish.
Your head shakes from side to side quickly, eyes still wide– untrusting, but desperate for something, he’s seen that look before so many times in so many different sets of eyes. After you scramble out of his lap, finding your footing on the floor beside the chair, you look down at him, still frowning.
“Sorry don’t mean nothin’- not out here it don’t.”
S’okay, Sug. You’ll be fine– Mister-man’s gonna be real thankful.
“Well he fuckin’ better! I hate gettin’ shot at, I hate havin’ t’fuckin run real fast- I hate that the place is almost three fuckin’ hours awa–” Your eyes fall onto the horizon where the sun is starting to rise just over the mountains in the distance. “Ain’t even get any fuckin’ sleep–”
Oh Sug, it’ll be worth it, he’s gon’ tell you–
Lies. He’s going to tell you lies, and for what!? You almost got shot–
“I know I almost got shot— You don’t think that I know I almost got shot!?” You’re nearly shouting in the woods. “Now both of yous be fuckin’ quiet– m’tired, and I twisted my fuckin’ ankle–”
And it’s the truth, you did twist your ankle when crossing the stream about a mile back, and thankfully the raiders had stopped following you a while ago, but with all the adrenaline it was easy to keep running. That was, until you slipped on those stupid fucking rocks.
It takes you thirty more minutes to get home, and by the time you do everything hurts, and you just want to go to sleep. Your ankle throbs with every tender step you take.
Taking a deep breath, you plaster on a smile and push open the door. "Honey, I'm home," you call out in a sing-song voice, trying to mask all your exhaustion and this fucking pain that won’t quit.
Mister’s already watching for you as you make your way slowly down the stairs. His eyes narrow as his eyes mill across your frame.
You don't look great. Disheveled, torn clothes, scrapes on your hands and knees from when you fell.
"What happened t’ya?"
Oh he’s worried ‘boutchya! Let him help you, honey.
You wave off his question with a limp hand. "Never mind me,” you toss your backpack on the table, the bottles of whiskey clank around inside noisily as you sit down in the metal chair beside Joel’s recliner. “Gotch’yer meat you wanted to fuckin’ bad.” You say, rolling your eyes.
Mister-man looks you up and down. "Y'look like hell," he says, his eyes tracing over the scratches on your arms and legs.
You ignore his words and his wandering eyes and open up your backpack. “I got jerky,” you pull out two large containers of dried meat and set them on the table. “-got bread ‘n more peanut butter— they had jam this time.”
“Who is ‘they’?” Joel asks, his eyes never leaving you even as his arms and wrists begin to twist gently under the restraints.
Embarrassment floods you, it takes over everything that you are, just like it did when you told him you had been watching him for a while. You know what you did was bad, and you shouldn't be stealing or killing-- but you're only doing it for him!
You look at him, with a hollow feeling in your chest that you can't quite place. "They’s just... people," you say quietly. "They don't matter none."
Joel tilts his head, studying you so intently that makes you want to squirm. "Ya’ hurtin’?" he asks, voice rough like sandpaper grating your ear canal.
“Who is Tom?” You avoid all questions about you, and any issues you have because why burden Mister-man? You're not his problem, you want to give him a worry, burden free life here in the mall with you and Puddin'.
Mister watches you very carefully as you pull a slice of jerky out of the container, he’s practically drooling when you place it as his lips. He groans as he begins to chew, and immediately takes another bite before he’s even swallowed the first.
He doesn’t answer— not even after the entire piece of jerky is gone, so you withhold the next piece.
“Who. Is. Tom?” You shift closer to him and wince when your ankle brushes against the leg of the chair.
"Tom... Tommy is my brother." His voice… there's something almost tender in his tone when he says his brother's name.
It feels like someone it clenching your heart in their fist, and they’re fucking squeezing.
"You're my fucking sister!" His voice is so hoarse, raw and desperate. It doesn't even sound like him anymore. "Don't— please, don't fucking do it, I'm sorry-" "You told me sorrys don't mean nothing anymore— not out here they don't!" You shout back at him, the gun in your hand trembles right along with the rest of your body. "You were supposed to t-take c-care of me! You p-promised mom and dad," you sob, your thumb pulls the hammer of the revolver back and your index finger squeezes the trigger. "Hey, HEY!" He holds both of his hands up, a weak attempt to shield himself from whatever is about to happen. Shoot him, kid. He deserves it after what he put you through. He let those guys— The gun just goes off, you don't even feel yourself pull the trigger. All you see is a fine, red mist explodes from his forehead and the back of his skull— and then everything is quiet, everything is calm. Good job, Sugar. I'm so fucking proud of you.
That was the first time you ever heard the light voice, the sweet voice that says nice things to you.
And m'gonna be here for ya' forever, Sug.
“I know,” you sigh.
Mister blinks at you, “You know Tommy?”
You blink back at him, “No?”
The silence stretches between you, thick and heavy like the evening air at the end of the summer. Joel watches you, his eyes darting between your face and the jerky still in your hand. “Okay…”
“Did Tommy like Batman?” If Tommy likes or liked Batman or anything about that universe at all, he’s an okay guy in your book.
“He likes Superman,” Joel chuckles when he delivers the news. “I’m the one who likes Batman.”
You audibly gasp, “You like the comics and the cartoons?”
Joel's lips twitch at the corners, almost forming what looks like a smile. "Used to read 'em with Tommy when we was kids. " His eyes fill with sadness.
You lean forward, tilting your head to the side in curiosity. "Why’re y’sad?" you whisper, the pain in your ankle momentarily forgotten.
"I ain’t sad," Mister-man is gruff. "Tommy and I used to collect comics, argued about who was cooler. Obviously Batman, 'cause he ain't got no superpowers. Just pure skill. Tommy thought Superman was better."
“Both of ‘em suck— I just like Harley Quinn,” you nod.
You were going to say more but the very faint sound of clicking ticks in your ears. It’s far enough away that you can get upstairs and drop the metal gate that locks the store up nice and tight.
It’s never fun, and you don’t like having to do it— but thankfully you just made a haul, so you’ll be good for a couple day.
You just hope Puddin’ is okay. Ya' saw him yesterday, but he didn't sleep in the big bed with ya' like he normally would.
“Har—” Mister-man starts, oblivious to the terrors that are lurking just above your head.
“Shhhhhh,” you hold your finger up to your mouth and furrow your eyebrows at him. “Stay quiet ‘n I’ll give ya’ some more jerky, okay?” You whisper almost silently.
He nods and stays quiet because he knows how scary those fucking things are, and he probably doesn’t want to be tied to a chair if one every came around.
Standing up feels like a pack of sparklers— like the ones they used to have at the 4th of July parties when you were a kid, before all this— it feels like those, popping and sizzling up your leg. You have to bite back a moan as your body leans against the table for support. The table skids across the floor noisily as you hold yourself up on it and it makes your blood run cold.
You have to get up those stairs and drop that gate, Sug. Mister is countin’ on you…
It’s like time freezes and all you can picture is poor Mister getting torn apart.
You hesitate listening intently. The clicking grows louder, a sickening, bone-chilling sound that echoes through the abandoned mall. Your twisted ankle throbs, but adrenaline starts pumping through your veins.
“Gotta move, sweetheart.” He must have heard the clicking this time too. Joel’s whispering voice is even and calm even though your chest feels like it could cave in on itself, your ribs feel like they could explode inward towards your lungs like sending shattered bone fragments hurdling towards your delicate, soft insides. “Y’can do it. I know it hurts—”
The metal gate. Everything around you goes silent, and the only thing you can hear is the sound the gate makes when it closes and locks into the floor. You have to get to the metal gate.
You clutch the railing with a white knuckle grip and pull yourself up the stairs two at a time, biting almost completely through your bottom lip, grunting with each painful step.
The clicking is clearer, and closer now that you’re on the same level as the infected, and you can tell there is more than one, and they’re moving fast.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” you hiss as you limp towards the entrance of the store.
As you reach it, you can see the seven infected closing in fast. Your sweet, sweet Puddin’ is hauling ass towards you— the infected right on his little, scaly tail.
“C’mon Pud,” you whine, dropping the gate down for just enough room for him to run through, and possibly let one of the infected in if you weren’t quick enough closing it behind him.. “C’mon Puddin’!”
It’s like your words spur him on and his little legs kick into overdrive. He slips under the metal gate just as the infected slam into it, throwing you off your balance. You’re thrown back at least three feet, and watch in horror as the gate starts to rise on its own.
Move kiddo, come on! Get your ass up and fucking shut that gate!
Your body screams in protest as you scramble across the floor, your twisted ankle sending sharp bolts of pain through your leg.
Puddin' is playing dead right behind you, but you don't have time to think about him right now. He's safe and inside, that's all that matters. The gate keeps rising, inch by torturous inch, and the infected are pushing against it with stupid inhuman strength!
"No, no, no," you mutter, pushing through the pain. The clicking grows louder, more frenzied, as the first infected begins to squeeze its misshapen head underneath the rising gate.
Pulling the knife from your belt in one hand, you bring it down into the skull of the infected trying to slip through, and with the other, your fingers grapple for a hold on the handle of the metal grate.
The infected skull cracks open with a sickeningly wet crunch, dark blood and gray matter splattering across the floor.
Your hand finally grips the smooth metal tightly, even though now your palm is nearly dripping with sweat, and with a grunt that feels like it's being stolen right out of your lungs, you pull down with all the strength you have left inside of you.
The gate comes down with a crash that echoes throughout the mall, the infected on the other side of the gate screech and squeal loudly. Some of them stick their arms through the slots, and their skin peels back like overripe fruit, claws scraping desperately for any piece of you they can reach.
You don't even want to think about how grotesque they are, you flip the lock that secures the gate to the floor as their fingers grapple and scratch deep into your skin. It clicks into place and you finally exhale, not realizing you had been holding your breath.
So fuckin’ proud of you, Sug. Knew you could do it.
The shrieking cries of the infected fill the otherwise silent mall and the confined space you’re now trapped in. You can't help but glance back toward Puddin'—the little white and gray furball who is still playing dead.
“S’okay, we’re safe,” you sigh, letting yourself rest on your elbows and then on your back completely. You stare at the ceiling, and wonder how long the infected will stick around.
The sounds coming from right above Joel has his heart racing, and he’s trying to free himself from his restraints harder and more desperate than ever before.
With a roar of determination, uncaring of the dangers above him, he jerks one arm up and then down. It’s not enough; he can still feel them biting into his skin painfully, creating new rope burns.
“C’mon, c’mon!” he grunts as time stretches into an eternity. The picture of you being shredded by gnawing and gnashing teeth makes his stomach churn.
Just as that thought creeps in, he hears a metallic rattling, but the wailing of the infected are still clear as day.
The clang of metal echoes again, and for a moment, he thinks maybe you did it. Maybe you’ve locked them out. Maybe you just signed yours and his death certificates and locked some of them in the store.
He tries to twist his wrists again, then again, but each movement sends sharp, stinging pain surging up his forearms. “Fuck!” He exclaims loudly.
She’s up there, fightin’ them off all alone—
"I know, dammit.” His jaw is tense and he focuses all of his energy on trying to loosen the ropes enough, or rub them against the metal fame to fray it enough so he can snap them. The strain builds in his muscles, and he can feel the ropes biting deeper, but he can’t stop— the feeling inside him brings him right back to the hospital in Salt Lake when he was looking for Ellie.
He thought he had felt helpless then, he thought he had felt helpless when that girl and her group of friends had trapped him and Tommy in that cabin— but now he knows the true definition of despair. Tied to a chair, listening to you getting torn apart right above him, and then he’ll have to watch those infected come to tear his throat out.
The door to the basement opens slowly, and Joel’s heart almost stops beating completely. Bile rises in his throat at the uneven steps that start down the wooden steps. It’s a slow, clumsy sound accompanied by grunts and pained whimpers.
When your boots come into his line of sight, he exhales loudly. The sight of you, safe and still breathing sends a warmth through Joel’s spine that spreads into the rest of his body and he’s not sure why.
Awe shit, she’s hurtin’ real bad.
Joel fucking knows, he can see it with his own two eyes. You’re limping, worse than you were went you bolted upstairs and now you’re covered in fresh wounds, and blood trickles down your left forearm, wrist and fingertips, leaving little droplets in your wake. Your cradling something dead and furry in your right arm.
“Ya’ get bit?” Joel’s skin prickles as he asks, trying to get a better look at your arm, straining to see in the dim light.
“Naw,” you grunt at him, sitting in the chair you had been sitting in before you had run upstairs. “Just got scratched.”
Joel eyes you, unsure if he can believe you while you extend your left arm and show him the deep gouging scratches carved into your flesh. “S’bad,” Joel murmurs as you press your arm against your dirty jeans. He flinches at the sight, and turns his arms under the ropes.
What’chya wanna do? Hit her or help her?
Both? Joel synchronously wants to do both. He wants to lay you down on the mattress across the room and tend to your wounds. He wants to wash the blood of your skin, and wrap you up— watch your eyes glisten and sparkle as he cares for you. And then Joel would beat your face bloody, and bludgeon your chest in until it caved.
“M’fine,” you offer weakly. “Ain’t the worst that’s ever happened t’me.”
Somewhere deep inside of Joel twists painfully when the inflection in your tone tells him you think that’s true.
“How’s your ankle?” Joel doesn’t bother looking, he knows it’s bad by the way you limped down the stairs.
“Said m’fine,” you grumble, setting the dead animal down on the table very gently next to the shock collar remote.
“What’s that? Fresh meat finally—”
Joel doesn’t even see it coming, your hand moves so fast and the next thing he knows he is being zapped into silence.
“Ain’t fuckin’ fresh meat- you don’t ever speak about Puddin’ that way, ya’ hear me?” You zap Joel the entire time you’re speaking, and he can barely hear you over the screaming between his ears. It’s deafening and blinding, and making him feel fucking stupid.
“Fine fine.” Joel grits out through a jaw clenched so tight he might actually break his teeth.
You flick the remote off and toss it on the table as if it’s too hot to touch any longer. The buzzing in Joel's ears fades slightly, leaving only the thudding of his heart and the rasp of his breathing.
“I fuckin’ hate hurtin’ you,” you sob softly, wrapping your arms around what appears to be an opossum. You pull it closer to you, and nuzzle your face against his fur.
Joel recoils at the sight, but watches as the dead animal comes to life, and gives your cheek a gentle lick. “That’s your pet?” He asks, disbelief dripping off his tongue.
You don’t look at him, or even really acknowledge that you heard him— you just continue to snuggle the animal and cry quietly.
Joel doesn’t really know what to do, he wants to comfort you in a weird way, but he still wants to see you dead? But the thought you dying also scares him a little?
It’s ‘cause you wanna be the one snuggled up next t’her. Jealous of an opossum—
No the fuck he doesn’t! Joel does not want to snuggle up to you, he doesn’t want to feel your warm body pressed against his—
Even though she’d fit perfect right next to ya’. Picture it, ya’ got’chya arms ‘round her ‘n you got your legs all wrapped in hers…
The sight of you, vulnerable and fragile with that small, stupid animal, tugs at his heart in ways he hasn’t experienced in years. He shakes his head violently, as if he could actually dislodge the thoughts spinning in his mind. “You’re fuckin' crazy,” he mutters to himself under his breath.
Your chair scrapes across the floor as you turn quickly to the right so you can face him. Your jaw ticks and one of your eyes twitch. “I ain’t fuckin’ crazy— stop sayin’ that.” You whisper to him. “Why ya’ bein’ so mean? I jus’ saved your life…” Your face twists up like you might start crying again, and your eyes now are still wet with the tears you had been crying moments ago.
“Saved my life?” Joel scoffs through clenched teeth, the remnants of your electric assault still tingling faintly in his fingers and toes. “That’s what y’think you did for me?” He can feel his resolve faltering as the fat, wet tears begin to roll down your cheek, but he forces himself to stay angry. It feels safer— it feels better that way. “More like puttin’ me through hell, darlin’.”
He doesn’t even mean for the word darlin’ to come out of his mouth, he wasn’t even thinking it, at least— he doesn’t remember wanting to cal you darlin’.
But the moment it slips out, he watches your expression change. You wipe at the tears staining your cheeks, smearing dirt and blood across your face. A flicker of something warm and soft ignites in your eyes, like sunlight breaking through dark clouds. “Darlin’…” you echo him, a fractured smile threatening to bloom despite the pain etched across your features.
Joel’s heart sinks, and also bursts with pride all at the same time. You are in fact insane, but he made you stop crying.
Look’it that, she’s almost smilin’ now.
That warmth spreads through him again, against his will—against all logical reason. “I didn’t mean it,” he mutters, not really sure if he did mean it or not. Yet the sight of you still clinging to that opossum, caressing him carefully as he nibbles gently on one of your fingers. The sight draws him in deeper than he would like to admit, but he just wants to clean you up, wrap you in bandages and then let you fall asleep on his lap.
“Didn’t… mean it?” You repeat the words like you don’t understand them, and your smile falters just a bit as you study his face, searching for truth. “Liar,” you smirk at him.
There is a warmth in your crazy eyes that makes Joel want to sink as far into the chair as he possibly can, he wishes he could disappear but he doesn’t. He says, watching you like he’s frozen in place. “Nah, s’just the shock talkin’,” he whispers and nods his head to one side like there would be a video replaying the who ordeal that happened only moments ago. He wishes there was so he could watch it happen over and over, so he could build up the walls around him, keep you the fuck out of his head.
“Yeah…” There is a distance to your tone, like you’re not really there anymore, and you drop your gaze to the opossum nestled in your arms. “Ya’ made me do that though,” you whisper, eyes flicking up to him quickly— they’re darker, a little scary and Joel wishes he could hide inside his own skin.
“Made you?” Joel’s voice rises, anger flaring throughout him like a wildfire in a forest of dead, dry trees. It spreads fast before Joel can control himself.“Y’think I made you do that? You are a crazy fuckin’ bit—”
You zap him again with a jolt that sends white hot sparks crawling up his spine, and sucks the air right out of his lungs.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” you scream and clutch the opossum tighter.
Joel watches as it goes back to playing dead in your arms. He’s about to shout back at you, start a screaming war and hope those infected break through that gate upstairs and kill both of you— but then you whisper something quietly, and Joel almost doesn’t catch it.
“I’m not gunna fuckin’ do that, stop tellin’ me t’kill him.”
Joel’s blood runs cold like ice… who the fuck are you talking to? Or about?
“Are you still hungry?” Your voice is soft, almost sweet now. “I can get you more jerky… I got lots of whiskey—” you say, the fierce anger from moments ago melting away, replaced by a manic eagerness to please him. You reach for your bag again, your arm still bleeding badly— but you’re unfazed by it, or at least doing a good job pretending it doesn’t bother you.
You pull out a glass jar.
“Are those coffee beans?” Joel can barely believe his eyes. His mouth starts to salivate immediately.
You wrinkle your nose at him and shrug your shoulders. “Dunno— they look like some kinda bean— smell all burnt up to shit though,” your nose stays scrunched up as you begin digging around in your bag again.
“Lemme smell,” he can barely contain his excitement as he watches you unscrew the lid to the mason jar. There is a hesitation in your movements when you go to hold the jar under his nose, like you’re trying to figure out his game, the trap he’s set. Your eyes scan all around him, face and body unmoving. “I jus’ wanna smell it— I’ll tell you if it’s coffee or not,” he’s as close to begging for something as he’s ever gotten.
“You like coffee?” You sound so curious, and gingerly place the mouth of the jar under his nose. He takes in a deep inhale and the wonderful, deep and rich aroma of coffee fills his nostrils.
Joel groans loudly, and for a long time as the scent permeates his sinuses, he can almost taste it on his tongue for a fleeting moment.
“Take that as a yes,” you giggle and let him breathe in the smell a little longer. “How do I make it for ya’?” You ask, pulling the jar away and screwing the lid on tight.
“Gotta grind those beans up real fine— then let it brew in some hot water.” Joel explains, watching as you dig around in your bag for more of your loot. "They make special pots for it— percolators."
"Percolators?" You parrot him, tilting your head to one side—
Cute lil puppy.
You fucking are, Joel hates to admit it to himself but even all covered in blood, and muck— looking like you've been to hell and clawed your way back out by the skin of your teeth— your eyes are bright and alert, watching him intently.
"Yeah, keeps the coffee grounds out of your water—" he starts, but you cut him off.
"So you put those crushed up beans… in the water… to just not want them in the water at the end of it all?" You hold up the coffee beans and look at them incredulously, your eyes squinted and narrowed on the glass jar with one eyebrow cocked up slightly.
Joel can't stop the corners of his mouth from turning up at your expression, your face still dirty and tear stained. "Never had coffee before?"
You shake your head at him, and continue rifling through your bag.
The opossum on the table comes alive again now that you're calm and quiet, he pops his little head up and this is when Joel notices the small teal and pink collar around his furry neck. As you pull the rest of the things out of your pack, the little critter starts to lick and clean your wounds.
It makes Joel grimace at the sight of the wild animal trying to help you, take care of you, but again— it tugs at a place inside of him he hasn't dared venture in years.
You're in the small bathroom just off the main room cleaning up in the sink you filled with water from a jug you brought down yesterday. “Ya’ wanna sleep on the bed t’night?” You nod to the mattress pushed up against the wall across the room.
What the fuck?
Mister-man looks just as shocked as the dark voice in your head sounds. “Ya’ gon’ let me sleep comfortably- take these fuckin’ ropes off me?” His voice is bitter and bites at you, makes you furrow your brows at him.
Sug, he’s been tied up for a while now—
For good fucking reason, he’s going to kill her the minute she unties him.
He’s got the dang collar on now, he’s gonna listen to her.
What happens when she falls asleep? Huh? She’s been up going on almost eighteen hours—
How d’ya know how many hours it’s been? She don’t have a watch or a clock!! You don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ ‘bout.
She’s going to fall asleep and the minute she does— he’s going to strangle her.
The image of Mister-man with his hands around your throat makes you do two things— it makes your stomach flip, and it makes your cunt clench.
What the fuck was that?
She likes the idea of Mister-man chokin’ her a lil, dont’chya Sugar?
The heat rises from your chest and up your neck, behind your cheeks. You kinda do want Mister to choke you a little, but not with the intention to kill you!
“What’re you fuckin’ smirkin’ ‘bout over there?” Mister snaps at you.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, you are smirking and just standing in front of the sink frozen in place. You swallow hard, trying to ignore the images of Mister’s big, strong hands around your neck. “Nothin’,” you lie to him, which makes you feel bad— but you can’t tell him that’s what you were thinking about.
Tell him, see what he says…
Will you shut the fuck up���
“I figure you can sleep there ‘n I’ll sleep in the chair t’night— still gon’ have to tie you up, but least you can lay down…”
That’s not really what you want. You want his arms wrapped around you, and your legs all messed up in his. You wanna feel his warm breath on the top of your head because that’s gotta be the best way to fall asleep, feeling someone else’s warm body, feeling their heart beating inside their chest.
Let’s ya’ know they’re really there- ain’t a dream or something you’re imaginin’.
“Why the hell d’ya want me all comfy f’anyway, huh?” he asks, suspicion laced in his tone, but a hint of curiosity glimmers behind his dark brown eyes.
You shake your head and go back to cleaning your arm so you can bandage it. “No, I’m jus’ tryin’ t’be nice. Figur’d you could stretch out if ya’ wanted.”
He watches you, that suspicion still etched into the lines of his face, but the curiosity is unmistakable, swelling in the way his brow furrows deeper and his lips twist just slightly. “Why ya’ tryin’ to be nice?”
“I dunno… don’t want you hatin’ me no more—”
Stop it right now! Shut the fucking door and stop talking to him.
“Why would I ever stop hatin' you?” His voice is low, almost a whisper. Mister-man hones in his gaze on you like a hawk. “You think bein’ nice t’me is gonna make me forget that ya’ tied me up down here?”
You shrug lightly as you wrap a bandage around your arm, feeling the warmth of blood already seeping through the fabric.
Don’t listen to him, Sugar. He don’t mean it.
Sounds like he fuckin’ means it.
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” you say softly, finally meeting his stare head-on. “I just wanna feel normal again…”
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Yeah Sug, keep that to ya’self.
You feel ashamed, real shame, uncomfortable for sharing too much, and now the voices are agreeing with each other? That’s never a good sign. You’ve done something wrong.
“Normal?” He chuckles, but it feels malicious. “Ain’t nothin’ fuckin’ normal about this, sweetheart.”
“Stop sayin’ that if you don’t fuckin’ mean it!”
His laughter dies down, leaving an awkward silence between you. The room feels smaller, somehow and it feels like Mister-man is right on top of you with judging eyes. “I do mean it,” he replies, softer now but still sharp and angry. “Y’think it’s normal t’be tied up in the basement by some—”
“Some what?” You interrupt him as the anger rises to meet the shame and hold its hand.
Mister stares at you, face unchanging when he speaks. “Some. Crazy. Fuckin’. Bitch.” He enunciates every word. “What is this? Some fuckin’ fairy tale to you? One of your stupid princess movies, huh?”
“They’re not stupid,” you snap back, your voice rising in defiance. “And I’m not crazy. I just…”
“Just what?” he presses, his tone challenging. “What do you want from me?”
Don’t fucking say it.
“I jus’ want ya’ t’like me,” you whisper- feeling small and insignificant. “Want ya’ t’not hurt me again,” you point to your still slightly blackened eye.
His studies you like you’re a problem that he can’t solve— the muscles in his jaw flex, and he pinches his brow together tightly. “Ya’ want me t’like you?” He echoes softly, he says the words like they might unleash an evil into the room.
You nod, feeling like you’re frozen and on fire all at the same time, it makes your stomach churn like you might be sick. The way he’s staring at you make you feel naked and exposed.
“Why?” he asks suddenly, breaking through the silence and makes you flinch.
“You’re handsome,” you let the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them.
He shifts in the chair like you made him uncomfortable, confusion weaving its way into the creases of his hardened and in fact, beautiful face.
“Handsome?” he repeats the word like it's a foreign language, like it’s something he hasn’t heard in ages.
“I sure think so,” you nod again.
Your face is so hot it feels like it’s being held to flames.
Well, this is the most you’ve talked to anyone in a real long time, Sug… it’ll get easier.
You could just stop talking completely and go to sleep. You’re delirious.
No she ain’t. Mister-man is handsome, and she want’s him inside her again real bad.
Your walls clench around absolutely nothing at the thought of his thick, throbbing length plunging inside of you, stretching you to fit around him perfectly. The idea of it happening again makes you dizzy and you can’t help but bite your lip, your face somehow grows hotter than you thought possible.
The look Mister gives you- the half smirk, one raised eyebrow makes you think he can read your mind.“Handsome,” he snorts softly, eyes never leaving you, but now they trail down the curves of your body. “You trynna ‘sit in my lap’ again, sweetheart?” The words come out of his mouth slow like molasses, and that country twang he has sends a shock right to your core.
“Maybe,” you say, voice trembling slightly but unwavering, “maybe if you wanted to, I would.”
His face softens slightly, the anger and suspicion melting away like snow in the sun. He raises an eyebrow, a small smile playing on his lips. "Why would I want that, honey?" he asks, his voice teasing slightly.
“You seemed to want it the other night,” you limp out of the bathroom and sit down in the metal chair beside his recliner.
“I was real drunk,” Mister explains, but his demeanor has changed, he looks relaxed, he’s resting his head on the back of the chair, looking at you through hooded eyes. “Ya’ took advantage of me,” he growls softly, but beckons you over with a nod of his head.
“Ya’ told me t’do it…” you snap. “I ain’t take nothin’. Advantage- I ain’t-- what? You asked me t’do it!”
He sure fuckin’ did ask you! How dare he say that bullshit ass—
I hate to admit it, but… he’s right—
The last thing you ever wanted to do was take something from Mister-man that he didn’t want you to take! It’s the worst feeling in the world- being held down and forced into—
Shhhhh, Sugar. It’s alright, s’all over now. It was just a misunderstanding.
“I ain’t m-mean t’do that,” you say weakly through the lump forming in your throat. “I thought ya’ wanted me t’do it— that’s why ya’ punched me?”
His eyes widen slightly, “I didn’t punch ya’ for that.”
"Then why did ya’ punch me?" Your voice cracks slightly as tears begin welling up in your eyes again; embarrassment filling every cell within your body once more.
“I was gonna try’n leave. Go home—”
“Ya’ lied t’me… said you’d stay,” you whimper, wiping the tears before they can fall.
“Please stop cryin’…” Mister-man's voice is surprisingly gentle as he speaks, and you feel your heart squeeze in response.
You sniffle, trying to regain your composure. "I wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t ask me first," you mumble, wiping your nose on the back of your sleeve.
"Why not?" Joel asks softly.
Look'it that, ya went'n made her cry! For what!? She's just trynna be nice t'ya! Jus' like she said. She wants a lil boyfriend, someone t'snuggle up with at night-- like a normal person!
There isn't anything fucking normal about you, not at all.
“I ain’t like stuff gettin’ taken from me,” you admit quietly, turning your gaze away from him.
Joel narrowed his eyes, sitting up a bit straighter in his recliner, the leather creaking underneath his weight. "What’ya mean by that?"
“Lets get ready for bed, ‘kay?” You ignore his question and stand up, wincing when you put any weight on your ankle. You hold the remote in your mouth gingerly as you begin untying him from the chair.
****
Joel watches you from the mattress in the corner. You have his hands still bound up in the oven mitts, and now you’ve tossed a rope over a pipe in the ceiling and tied up his elbows so he can move and lay down. Stretch out if he wants to, but he can’t walk more than five or six feet in either direction— and the pipes secured tighter than he had been hoping it would be.
Joel can hear you reading the Batman comic books to yourself and that opossum you keep calling Puddin’, but you haven’t looked or spoken to him since you tied him up an hour or so ago. Just left him with two things: a plastic bottle of water and metal flask with whiskey in it. He was silently thankful when you twisted the lids off without him having to ask.
He knows struck a nerve with his question, but he didn’t really expect you to shut him out completely. He takes a swig from the plastic water bottle.
Ya’ want that sad lil puppy t’come over here, dont’chya?”
He does, oddly enough. You being crazy was better than you giving him the cold shoulder, like he wasn't even there.
He wonders if you read to that stupid animal every night, and if you snuggle with him in the bed you sleep in upstairs. He wonders if you have to drink yourself to sleep every night with how many bottles of whiskey you brought back.
His mind just continues to race.
****
Joel can’t sleep. He thought for sure the minute he put his head down, he’d drift off and sleep better than he has since you tied him up down here, he’s got a blanket and a pillow now but they do nothing to comfort him into closing his eyes.
Call her over, see if she’ll come snuggle up next to you.
“Hey,” Joel whispers into the completely dark room.
“What?” You whisper back to him from the void.
“C’mere— it ain’t fair ya’ gotta sleep in that chair. I know s’uncomfortable.” What the fuck is he doing? He’s not going to willingly allow you into his space, is he?
“M’fine,” you murmur back to him. “Go t’sleep.”
“Can’t sleep— come sit in my lap again,” Joel smirks to himself because fuck, what he would do to feel your warm cunt enveloping him like you were made strictly for him, and him alone. It makes his cock twitch just thinking about it.
Joel holds his breath, waiting for you to respond. Then, finally, you murmur back, your voice barely more than a whisper, “Why would I do that?”
“‘Cause I’m handsome…” Joel teases you, listening to the way the chair creaks as you shift on it. He wishes so badly he could see you. “I know ya’ wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too.”
“Y’just wanna punch me again, try’n escape—”
“Where would I go? Them infected are still up there, I ain’t gettin’ outta here anytime soon,” he’s being honest. He had thought about it, but the idea of having to share a room with your dead body— even if he moved you upstairs, the idea of having to wait around with your corpse until the infected cleared out gave him a bad feeling.
It’s ‘cause you don’t wanna kill ‘er. Ya’ wanna be deep inside that tight, wet, warm perfect hole.
“Fuck,” Joel mutters under his breath. His cock’s fully hard now, and it’s making a tent in the black sweatpants you put on him before bed. He rubs the oven mitt on his hand against the bulge in the fabric and groans loudly.
“What’re you doin’?” You ask from your place in the chair.
“Come find out, sweetheart.” He sighs, leaning against the wall the mattress is pressed up against.
Joel listens to you limp and shuffle towards him in the dark. Your hands hesitantly touch his shins before you crawl onto the bed with him.
“Take ‘em out f’me, baby girl,” he leans into you now that you’re sitting next to him, pushing his nose into your hair. He inhales deeply and takes in the heady scent of your sweat lingering whatever fucking pheromones that are making him just as insane as you.
“Ya’ really want this?”
Joel wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you as close as he can get. “M’sober this time,” he moan quietly into your ear when you push his mitt covered hand, away and slip your hand underneath the waistband. He bucks his hips up into your fist as you begin to stoke him.
“You’re s’warm,” you sigh, turning your head to face him.
Joel wastes no time catching your lips in a kiss, slipping his tongue into your mouth to taste you, savor your flavor. You taste like whiskey and strawberry jam. The smell of cheap bathroom hand soap lingers on your skin from washing up in the sink. All of it makes him feel like hes intoxicated.
“Fuck, y’feel so good,” he growls into your mouth, nipping at your bottom lip gently as you pull away. “Take these fuckin’ mitts off me—”
Your hand leaves his pants and the warmth of your body is gone from beside him. “It’s a trick?” You sound hurt in the dark, like Joel’s played some terrible prank on you and you just found out.
“No, no, no-” he’s desperate for your touch. It felt so good, and he wasn’t even thinking about trying to trick you or do anything shifty once you took the mitts off, he wanted to grip you and grope you. Plunge two or three fingers right into your wetness. “No, m’not trynna trick you— I just wanna touch you.”
“S’what you said last time,” you snap at him. He can tell you’re still close, probably still on the mattress. He shifts and tries to get closer to you but he hears your skin drag across the concrete floor.
“Shit,” Joel grumbles. “I know, fuck— I know, but I mean it this time-”
“I don’t believe you.”
Of course you don’t believe him! He socked you right in the eye as hard as he could the last time he didn’t have at least 4 inches of padding on his fists.
“I wanna make y’feel real good, the way y’were makin’ me feel real good just then,” he’s inching towards the sound of you dragging yourself across the floor on his hands and knees slowly. The ropes stop him from going any further while you continue your retreat. “C’mon, baby…”
“Y’just sayin’ that, don’t mean it…” The sound of your body shuffling away from him stops though, and he wonders if he’s got you on the hook with the pet names.
Try it again, Mister.
“Please, honey… I wanna hear y’moan Mister’s name,” he coos to you, hiding from him somewhere in the darkness.
You let out a long, slow, shaky breath before you answer. “What is your name…”
He’s so fucking desperate for some sort of relief that he tells you before he can come up with a fake name— he’s learned the hard way about sharing his real name with strange women. “Joel.”
“Joel…” You whisper back to him. “My very own Mister-J?” You sound excited.
“Mister-J?” Joel cocks his head to one side, but is pushed back onto the mattress by the force of you barreling into him.
“That’s what Harley calls the Joker,” your straddling his waste again and without thinking twice, Joel wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into him. His forearms brush against the bare skin of your thighs and it makes him groan softly as he pushes you down into his lap.
“Ya' wanna be m'crazy girl? Like Harley Quinn?” Joel chuckles as he nudges his nose against your chin, tilting your head back to expose your neck.
You hesitate, and pull back from him slightly.
“I ain’t gon’ bite you,” he promises, leaning in as much as he can so he can press his lips to the column of your throat.
“Fuck,” you breathe out, sinking into him like you’re melting. “Oh fuck,” it leaves your mouth as a whimper, and Joel’s cock throbs at the sound.
“Like this?” He nips at the spot where your neck meets your shoulder and you shiver in his arms. He can’t hide the smile, he doesn’t care to. He loves that he’s capable of making you make those sounds.
You hum an almost silent ‘mhm’, and wrap your arms around his neck and thread your fingers through the curls at the nape.
Joel has so much more room to move around now that he’s unrestrained, so he rolls his hips up into yours so you can feel what he has to offer. You gasp and arch your back, pushing yourself further onto him. He moans softly, his mitts trailing down your spine and cupping your ass cheeks as best they can. He can feel the heat between your legs growing and he has a nagging thought in his head.
Lay down, let her climb right on top—
Joel shifts and wiggles down onto the mattress so he’s flat on his back, with you still straddling his hips. “Take your lil shorts off,” Joel taps your thigh, and then lifts his hips so he can shove his sweatpants down his legs.
You don’t ask any questions. You roll off of him and Joel feels your shoulder touch his as you lay down to remove your bottoms. You go to crawl back into his lap but he stops you.
“Sit up here,” he grips your hips as best he can with the mitts, and tugs you up to his face.
“What!?” You sound distressed, “Ya’ want me t’do what?”
“Turn around, and sit down,” Joel growls up at you.
You hesitate, the uncertainty clear in your voice. "I-I don't know..."
"C'mon, darlin'," Joel coaxes, his voice low and husky. "Let me taste you. I promise ‘m gonna make you feel so good."
With shaky movements, you turn around and slowly lower yourself over Joel's face.
He inhales deeply, taking in your scent. "That's it," he murmurs encouragingly. "Just like that." Joel can feel the heat radiating from your core as you hover uncertainly above him. He lifts his head, nuzzling his nose against your inner thigh. "Lil lower," he nips at your supple skin.
With a soft whimper, you finally sink down onto his waiting mouth. Joel groans at the first taste of you, his tongue delving between your folds. Your sweet and tangy, a little sweaty and musky— it’s fucking heady and perfect. He can’t get enough.
“Oh fuck,” you shudder as Joel licks a stripe from your clit to your entrance, which is already dripping and Joel feels pride swell in his chest.
Without Joel having to ask, or prompt you in any way, you lean over and take his hard, aching cock in your hand. Joel nearly comes right there when he hears you spit on it noisily and palm your warm saliva around the throbbing, drooling tip.
“Fuuuuck,” Joel moans approvingly before his tongue pushes into your entrance.
"Oh god, Mister," you whimper, your hand still working his cock in long, slow strokes. Then you kitten lick the tip and he has to stop himself from bucking his hips.
Joel's mind goes blank as your warm, wet mouth envelops the head of his cock. He groans against your pussy, the vibrations making you shudder above him. His tongue laps eagerly at your fold, drinking in your arousal as it flows freely.
You bob your head, taking more of his length with each downward motion. Joel's hips twitch, fighting the urge to thrust up into the heavenly heat of your mouth. Instead, he focuses on pleasuring you, sucking your clit between his lips and flicking it with his tongue.
You whimper around his cock, grinding your hips down onto his face.
Joel pulls back slightly, his breath hot against your core. "That's it, baby girl. Ride my face," he growls before diving back in, his tongue circling your clit.
You pull away, your hand replacing your mouths ministrations and rest your head on Joel’s hip as you stroke him, never faltering on giving him pleasure. “Please d-don’t stop!” You cry out, your grip tightening around his shaft as you rock your hips. Joel's mitt-covered hands grip your thighs, urging you on.
"Gonna cum for me, darlin'?" he murmurs against your slick folds. "Let me taste it."
Joel feels you tense above him, your thighs quivering as you grind down harder on his face. He doubles his efforts, lapping at your clit with quick, firm strokes of his tongue. Your hand on his cock speeds up, pumping him in time with the rocking of your hips.
"Oh god, oh fuck," you whimper, your voice muffled against his hip. "I'm gonna-- I'm--"
Your words dissolve into a high-pitched moan as you come undone. Joel groans as he feels your pussy pulse against his mouth, a fresh wave of your arousal coating his tongue.
Your sounds, the way your hips continue to rock against his mouth as you unravel has his own release bubbling up to the surface. Joel groans deeply as his own orgasm crashes over him, his hips bucking up involuntarily as he spills into your hand. You stroke him through it, milking every last drop as he shudders beneath you.
Joel's whole body twitches as you clean him and your hand with your tongue, "Taste good," you mumble against his stomach, pressing soft kisses to the trail of hair between his cock and belly button.
Then, with shaky movements, you lift yourself off of Joel's face and turn around to face him. Even in the darkness, he can sense your uncertainty.
"C'mere," Joel murmurs, his voice rough. He reaches out, pulling you down to lay beside him. You settle against his chest, your breath warm on his neck.
“Don’t kill me in my sleep, ‘kay?” You sigh, pressing a kiss to his pulse point.
Joel murmurs something incoherent, already on the verge of falling asleep.
Sorry it was like 45 minutes late (two days early if you look at the master list ok?-- I may have had something to drink.... and of course thanks @pedrospookie for that adorable fucking mood board. I hope you all like this chapter-- it's a little domesticated (i think), but I have more crazy, unhinged antics coming next chapter!)
TAG LIST: @pedrospookie @gothcsz @joelmillerisapunk @sp00kymulderr @paleidiot @goodvampykitten @rosebuds-and-moonlight @diabaroxa @zhazy-blog2 @almostempty @xdaddysprincessxx @tobethlehem @lilac-boo @xkyxkyxxlylcylulucuflfluclu @rav3n-pascal22 @baronessvonglitter @joelmillerisapunk @syd-djarin @probablyreadinsmut @itwasntimethatdidit40 @letsgobarbs @lovehappyloki @joelalorian @pedrostories
(omg I think I got everyone but that's so many people, please let me know if I left you off or if you want to be taken out of the tag list!)
#kidnapped!joel miller x unhinged!reader#pedro pascal characters#fic: girl dinner#joel miller x reader#joel miller/reader#DDDNE#joel the last of us#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#tlou joel#joel miller#crazy reader insert
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I've got such a bad habit of changing my entire aesthetic based on whatever fictional man I'm watching at the time. "whoa I wanna start dressing like that guy" no you don't. That guy dresses like ass. You just want to be percieved as a dude and he is one.
#''I'mma start dressing like Aizawa'' He is wearing black pajamas.#''wanna look like jigen!'' a suit? you're gonna wear a fucking suit? A fedora? gonna try to grow an Abe Lincoln beard too? dumbass.#''Rick Gri-'' that is a goddamn flannel and jeans. Every man in this show dresses like the word ended in 2010 because It Did.#gotta keep self aware so I don't get lost in Outfit World#*bad* outfit world at that#do not be fooled by a flat chest and facial hair. Tis Not The Fit Which Will fix You.#trans stuff#I'm not tryna say clothes don't matter at all dgmw#it was laundry day today so I dug deep into the closet and emerged in a striped sweater red beanie and the world's bluest skinny jeans#looked in the mirror and 2014 hit me like a flashbang#felt Bad all day lmao#edit: this post is about me. myself. I'm not 'right' or 'wrong'#just so y'all know
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in my perfect world everyone makes so many lesbian muses the men then have to deal with the exact same behavior when every single post ever written isn’t about dick.
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[real talk: I’m a lesbian transmasc little enby guy. but my gender? is lesbian. it’s how I explain it. my attraction to women is a part of#my innate gender. that’s just how it is and the two things inform one another. heteronormativity is still so alive and now everyone can put#it under progressive little labels where the character is bisexual but everything that’s focused on for miles is the hetcoded shit. it’s a#cool little thing people do now. it went from when I was a kid and ‘there’s no such thing as bi you’re just confused’ to ‘everyone is bi#because it gives me points but I will never meaningfully observe the queer aspect of that identity and it can make me seem comfortable with#queer identities’. it’s lip service so much of the time. and I never ever ever say you’re only valid if you write bi characters in a#queercoded relationship. bisexuality is forever valid always even if you’ve NEVER been in a queer relationship. but this is writing and#real bisexual people (I’m not even bi I’m literally a lesbian) have experiences irl that make them feel shitty#when they see them boiled down to shallow. a lot in the same way I get upset when I see lesbian relationships brushed off or ignored in#spite of my own excitement toward the ship. MY POINT IS that lesbians are completely ignored by this point and I can say this both irl and#on here because when you live a life that excludes men from your romantic space you’re basically illegal. it drives me fucking insane. the#way anyone can make a fucking whitebread ass man on this site and their inbox will be exploding but you make a lesbian and you have to pad#quietly around because from jump you’re already worried about how people will perceive you and you KNOW they won’t be immediately welcoming.#this is an irl thing in such a big way and I’m a NEW YORKER. but the fact that this exists in the rpc? truly I miss when we just wrote and#enjoyed things and this wasn’t a cesspit of discourse instead of an actual creative community. like. I went to college to study boring#theses that couldn’t keep my attention. I slogged through litcrit theory. do I love it? yes. but some of yall really just wanna be on#debatebro YouTube and not in the actual rpc. it’s wild. everyone’s a philosopher but no one wants to meaningfully engage. and if they do#they want to in either bad faith or basically hardheaded ignorance about an issue. someone’s 2 seconds from rping destiny.#swear to fucking god if I see one person make an asm.ngold joke I will cry.]
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from a vibes perspective, i totally understand why so many people look at keefe and go ‘this guy would be the male equivalent of a wine aunt when he’s older’.
but. but.
taking lore into consideration, in my heart, he’s terrified of alcohol (even if he tries really hard to hide it). because. like. his first exposure is almost guaranteed to be through cassius, and cassius canonically threw a glass extremely close to him at least once when he was, like, 8. maybe cassius wasn’t always extra nasty when he was drunk, but there’s gotta be a correlation in keefe’s brain between risking getting seriously hurt (emotionally or physically) and alcohol consumption that’s really hard for him to shake.
#tw alcohol#tw child abuse mentions#lmk if there's more trigger warnings i should put#i have a thing for hurt/comfort lmao#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#this is brought to you by:#that one fic my brain started writing internally where it's sophie's 21st bday and she's like man i#have saved the world so many times we've all lost count. i want a fucking drink#and keefe's internally like OH GOD OH FUCK in a bad way but externally he's like yeah babe whatever you want!!#and then she's like. i don't wanna do anything super stupid though. and drinking alone is super stupid when you've never drank before#will you stay w/ me? please?#and keefe's like. i cannot say no to that face#so he spends the night doing an increasingly bad job of hiding how bad he's freaking out#because sophie is a safe space and alcohol is not safe and he doesn't know how to deal w/ the two colliding#ESPECIALLY since sophie's just getting dorkier and sweeter as her filter goes down instead of throwing insults or objects at him#(i feel like sophie would be the kind of drunk that's very impulsive and says EVERYTHING that comes to the forefront of her mind#and stellarlune was more than enough to prove that she sees keefe and a lot of the time her brain just goes hnnngh soft little tortured#artist. MY soft little tortured artist.)#yeah but even intoxicated sophie can tell something's wrong even before he flinches super obviously at an empty glass falling over w/o#breaking. and so she's like nah man it's hurt/comfort time and he's like BUT YOUR BIRTHDAY and she's like do you really think i'm#gonna just let go of the fact that i know you're stressed? i'm not a dickhead keefe#so yeah it ends in cuddles. because of course it does#keefe sencen#annnnd out of the drafts this goes. post!
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the other day my dad was showing me how to do this thing for an account and because hes incapable of not being a huge bag of dicks all the time he was all like oh im doing this for you because you cant and ur useless and stuff (it was incredibly simple, i wouldve figured it out in like two minutes. i didnt even ask him to do it, he just told me "im doing this" and when i said i would just do it myself he said no) and i was mad at him for being a bitch but i cant say im mad or do anything or he gets mad, but you will not believe the satisfaction i felt today after being able to do an IT thing for my mum that he couldnt, at least i get this, fuck you and eat shit old man, whos useless now?
#alex says shit#i love my dad! /sarc#im annoyed tho bcs i wanna give him the silent treatment but he would get so fucking mad at me for even insinuating hes in the wrong#bcs hes an enabled man child who thinks he can just say whatever he wants bcs 'hes the only one who does anything'#so that justifies him treating everyone like crap#(if hes the only one who does anything how about he goes and gets a job)#but i cant just let him think that he can do whatever he wants because he fucking cant#not me trying to teach my father (whos in his late fifties) how to treat people with a minimum of respect#who tf else is gonna do it tho#not my mum whos too kind and too much of a pushover to do anything but excuse his actions#(love her tho)#certainly not my golden child sister#but he doesnt respect my opinion so he'll die a jaded miserable piece of shit with one daughter who feared him and one who hated him#i'll likely die just as jaded and alone but i'll never make it anyone elses problem like he does#damn i really always go off in the tags#dropping a whole lore my bad
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.
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw negative#cw health issues#‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You#like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want#‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT#if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it#dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache#i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting#food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick#but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault#everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough#for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need#cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either#i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position#my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired#god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain#That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night#the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis#well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify#and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but#there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.
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this is from my "taking what's not yours" fic!! i just felt like sharing this here plus i love the idea of feeding hungry Stan, like smth about a starved, down-bad Stanley Pines being taken care of ruins me. let the poor man eat!!! let him be treated nice for once!!!! ughhh i guess it means the second chap is coming soon
Stanley Pines doesn't know what to do with kindness. Not the real kind, anyway. Not the kind where someone takes him out, sits him down and actually pays for his meal like he’s worth the damn trouble.
He can't help it, he's not used to people being nice to him. He's not used to much of anything, except scraping by, finding the next scam and eating cheap food out of plastic wrappers. So when you dragged him to the Gravity Falls diner one afternoon, promising him a real warm meal, he was suspicious.
The waitress barely had time to finish setting down the menus before Stan barked out an order. “Burger, double. Extra fries. Chocolate milkshake. And gimme some bacon on the side.”
Your brows shot up, but you didn’t say anything, just smiled and told the waitress to put it on one tab. Stan’s gaze snapped to you. “One tab? wait, you’re payin’?”
“Yeah, why not?” you say casually, because it's not a big deal for you, but Stanley frowns.
“You sure about that? ‘cause, uh, i don’t exactly have, you know. . .” he trails off, scratching the back of his neck.
“It’s fine. Just eat, Stan.” and that’s what fucks him up. Because nobody’s ever wanted to spend their money on him before, not unless they were expecting something in return. But you just look at him with those soft, genuine eyes and tell him to shut up when he starts talking about returning money.
When the food arrives, Stanley attacks it like a man starved, which, honestly, he definitely is. The burger disappears in minutes, followed by the fries, then the bacon. Grease smears his chin and he doesn't even bother wiping it off, too busy slurping down his milkshake like his life depends on it.
You watch in both amusement and horror at the starved man in front of you, who barely stops to chew.
“Jesus, Stan, you wanna slow down before you choke?” you tease, propping your chin on your hand.
Stan grunts, barely acknowledging you. “’s good.” you notice the ketchup on his cheek and giggle. “yeah, i can tell.”
After couple of minutes, he finally pauses, chewing slower. He swallows hard and taps his finger on the table, avoiding eye contact with you.
“. . . Nobody’s ever taken me out before.”
Your smile softens. “Ever?”
“Nah, not like this.” not without expecting something, not without it being some transaction, he wanted to add.
“Oh. . . well, i just wanted to. You deserve it.”
Stan snorts, but it’s weak. “Really?”
“Yeah. And you’re cute when you eat like a starved dog.”
That makes him choke on his milkshake, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, glaring at you while you laugh, watching his ears turn pink.
“You tryin’ to embarrass me, sweetie?”
“Is it working?”
“Yeah,” he grumbles, shoving another forkful of food into his mouth to shut himself up, still smiling though. He’s never felt so full. “uh. . . thanks.”
“Dont mention it.”
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thinking about freehoun so bad tonight oughhhhhhhhhhhh
#i wanna draw it so bad but i need to eat and then go to bed#like- just the idea of the rescas. barney sees gordon being dragged away and is forced to leave him#and even though he knows gordon lived- he defeated the nihlanth after all- he's still never going to see him again#the vorts say he's alive- they INSIST he's alive- but he'd still be on xen with no way to get back#and then barney just exists selflessly trying to help the resistance for 20 years#every so often he hears about gordon coming back one day and fuck he wants to believe that but he just *cant*#until he sees him at the train station#holy shit. it's him. and he hasn't aged a damn day.#barney can't even properly reunite because they would get caught and killed#so he calls issac and sends gordon on his way trying so so so hard to pokerface for the rest of his shift#when he gets back he only finds out gordon is on the run and in danger#and he cant do shit to help him#and when gordon gets to black mesa east barney isn't even there#all that- all of half life 2- and they can't properly reunite#and then the citadel explodes#man. he would ABSOLUTELY think gordon was just fucking killed then.#and when he STILL survives... just. imagine this with me.#im ill. i am so very very ill#freehoun#half life#dimond speaks
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I will never forgive the people who went after teenagers for going by Arson. It's a genuinely cool name fuck you, just admit you're allergic to teens having fun with self expression (or teens having fun at all) and stop trying to make it a morality issue
#'it's a crime!!! you can't name yourself after a crime!!!' me and my homies tax evasion and vehicular manslaughter laughing so hard rn/j#you have to be a massive snowflake if you piss yourself over someone's name bro#and I'm not even fond of calling people snowflakes but when someone's self expression upsets you that much it's just... come on man#I never once looked at the tiktok teens with their edgy appearances named Arson and thought 'oh my god they wanna be quirky so bad'#or 'I'm gonna scream at this literal child because I think they're cringe'#says a lot more about the person going after a self expressing teenager than the 15 year old named Arson tbh#even if the bully is a teenager themself#also the Arson bunnyhat kids were cool as hell. they inspired me to experiment more with my own fashion as a teen#never forgive and never forget how people went after tiktok alternative kids just because it was a 'trend'#emo and scene were 'trendy' at one point. does that discredit THAT alt subculture as well? fuck no#transgender#self expression#alternative
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
#i cant focus on anything rn but the stuff i wanna make and its turning my brain into mush#the weird brainfucked fear that if i dont get these things started Soon ill forget it#my memory is so fucking borked man and my brain runs too fucking fast to hold on to anything#i make so much that i went and made my own hell lol#the two jobs thing i think is probably the crux rn cause ive got even less time than i used to and my time blindness gives me troubles#ill get adjusted to it#sometimes with all my fucked up processing issues makes me feel like im kind of stuck in a weird bubble#like i have no idea whats happening or whos around me or what people are saying and i just have to stumble through it yknow#shouldve been born as a tiktokers pet snail#not tryna be complainy or in a bad mood or nuffin im fine i literally just want to be making stuff rn#even though works like a big Thing its also been understimulating the past week because theres nothing to do i just gotta Be Here#i need to be put under pressure i need squeezed i need smushed and i aint getting that#if i ever make something for u plz hound me about it#so i can explain in excruciating detail what step im on and how im doing it and what still needs done and how ill do THAT#i should make tutorials#i feel like im way too stream of consciousness to make anything actually helpful#idk i want a toast chee
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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You can really tell trans men are men because instead of accepting that women experience more or even just different kinds of oppression then they do they have to turn every discussion about the problems trans women face into a argument about Solidarity and also us not being able to coin slurs used to reduce TMA people to a porn category is basically violence and you are literally saying that we are not trans and do not experience transphobia. I hate some of you fuckers so much
#Why do you want to say tr*nny so bad why is it is so important to you.#I dont care how many times youve been called one IRL because somebody thought you were a trans woman.#Like if you wanna have the personal experience fight I can tell you all the disgusting fucking things#cis people have said about trans women to me IRL and often#AT MY FUCKING JOB about how Relieved they#were Im a trans man and not a trans woman.#Like shutup. shutup. the end goal of all disvussion ksnt#whether or not you get to call yourself a edgy slur grow up.#ok anyway.#you wanna reclaim so bad why arent you calling yourself a cuntboy.#Incheresting. ok ANYWAY
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