#but i wanna make her relevant to the plot without making her the equivalent of the camp rock best friend who only shows up

[man1xm4nia]

Im too tired to do chapter 2 but like- i have a few ideas for it- i dont want it to seem filler but i do wanna make it descriptive and like where you can imagine yourself in the actual town

like uh i cant tell yall but its good ideas i swear

i should probably remove other characters names and tags from the work

the actual story will kickstart at like- chapter 3

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 5

Through a Glass, Darkly

Welcome back to the Temple of the Earth Defiant where the girls and their magical horses (and one pony!) have found refuge from the strange, twisted, fae creatures that have been chasing them. The statue of Asha Hammerheart that Ost animated last episode is still alive and wrecking house on the remaining harpies and beasts that are foolish enough to keep fighting and the rest soon get the hint and flee. 

Ost does some healing (boosted by the ambient Hallow effect of the temple which gives everyone a short rest) and then, seeing the damage to the temple caused by erosion, starts using Mending to fix things up. Her friends help out too with Sam and Yelle being most effective--Sam by repairing water damage and Yelle by creating tree cover and other druid-y tricks. But of course, we can’t overlook Katja’s crucial addition of carving “A Horse is a Home” into one of the walls of this sacred temple. 

Anyway, the girls are nesting super hard, the horses are having their scrapbooking reviewing club (an insane thing that was established last episode) and then Sam asks a question. Did y’all mention something about a photo of me going viral? Everyone’s like yeah, but don’t worry, you looked super hot. That’s not the part Sam was worried about. What she’s worried about and what all the girls except Zelda don’t really seem to know is that Sam doesn’t really have a social media presence. So like, 180k and climbing views (as decided by a dice roll) isn’t really what she wants. She scrolls through the comments really quick and sees that they’re not awful but one person is like, “Hey that girl looks a lot like that character from that old show”. Which Sam doesn’t love. She says that she’s fine but also that, even without an Insight check, she’s obviously not. 

Sam kind of looks to Zelda to bail her out and Zelda is like, “Hey, I’m gonna delete this video.” The other girls follow suit, even though they don’t quite know what’s happening. When they have to split up to investigate, Sam has Zelda kind of bail her out again and they split up to go check a nest outside--Zelda waving off Danielle when she wants to go with. Ant and Yelle decide to check out a cache of some treasure they saw earlier and Ost and Katja stay with the horses to keep fixing the temple up. Penny initially goes with Ant and Yelle but rushes back to be with Ost and Kat when Ost discovers a hidden lock while she’s fixing a wall.

So, the girls are split up, let’s run all these scenes.

Antiope and Yelle

Ant and Yelle go see the pile of treasure (near the statue of dwarven paladin Yvonna) which they learn is like a “take a penny leave a penny” situation for weapons and items. They were left by adventures who were similarly chased here and you can take what you need as long as you leave something to help others. Like, “Oh no I only have an ice sword and I need flaming arrows.” It doesn’t have to be equivalent exchange, you just need to leave something useful.

In this space, Yelle feels a weird melancholy and like they’re within the watch of something vast and powerful. She tries to check for TK’s presence but rolls low. Antiope leaves her Kalvaxus killing shortsword and takes some really nice, white feather fledged arrows with mirror tips and an ax Kat wants as a present for her dad. Danielle takes a bandolier of potions (3 healing and 2 mystery I believe) and leaves a bunch of mushrooms. Some of them are psychedelic and Ant takes one because this is probably a good time to be high, right?

It’s not messing with her competence obviously though because she rolls a 25 on Primeval Awareness and gets a weird sense, like something is closing in on this place. And like something very powerful is bleeding, which combined with the chaos of the mountains might explain the weird harpies and the cat/dogs. But she’s high so she explains this is a very spacey, stoner way. Probably a good thing she’s with Yelle.

Sam and Zelda

Sam can fly and Zelda can basically walk vertically with her goat legs so they check out the nest. Well, ostensibly that’s what they’re doing. Really they’re just having a heart to heart. Sam thanks Zelda for saving her ass and apologizes profusely for being so short with her. Zelda gives her a huge mid-air hug and says it’s not a big deal because she knows Sam is just lashing out because she’s hurting but Sam says it’s not a good enough excuse and she’s truly sorry. It’s been her coping mechanism for so long but she doesn’t want to be that way. She tells Zelda that the Everpetals are divorcing and that she’s living alone and Zelda says that any one of the girls would be happy to have her stay with them. Sam further explains that this is a big part of the reason she’s been so broken up about the possibility of their group splitting up and Zelda immediately takes out her crystal and texts her “I’m in” in the thread, breaking Sam again. 

Since they’re in heart to heart mode, Sam tells her that she talked to her bio-mom and an agent and she’s not sure what to do. Zelda says that she’s gonna be spectacular no matter what she does and she doesn’t have to do any of them but it’s cool doors are opening for her but also Antiope and Penny are gonna be PISSED that she’s out here making side plans after she gave them so much shit for theirs. Lol, well it’s a nice moment in the meantime and we cut to…

Penny, Ost, and Katja 

While Penny is lockpicking (and also trying to teach one of the horses to lockpick because sure) Katja and Ost go talk to the statue of Asha Hammerheart. It seems to be animated with at least some level of her true consciousness from beyond the grave and that she can kind of woge into her statue when she wants, which is cool. She’s been there for like 250 years so that’s a lot of history to see. 

Ost is maybe the most polite we’ve ever seen her talking to Asha (at least to begin with lol) and they ask her about TK. Asha says she saw TK show up 12 years ago but she never left, at least not through the front door. And then about 2 years ago (right around when they were in the crystals) that’s when the harpy queen showed up. At first they were normal and then they started mutating. Also, recently, Korra (one of the other statues/heroes) saw a woman in the mountains--not TK. 

Ost then takes a page from the book of one St. Kristen Applebees and asks, “Hey. What’s the deal with our god? He never talks to us, does he just suck?” Asha--who has never talked to him even though she’s a martyred hero and literally in dwarf heaven makes some excuses for the guy but Katja scoffs at them. “If people wanna take care of you, they do.” Ost then straight up asks if Logran Soulforger is even real which sets Asha off but Ost isn’t mad AT her, she’s mad FOR her. You go and do all this cool shit to the point where you have this cool ass statue, you fully DIE for him and he doesn’t even say hi? With a 21 Persuasion check, Asha admits that yeah, she would have liked some recognition. She decides she’s gonna go do some talking to some people and leaves after getting Ost’s number but before they can ask more about the woman Korra saw (who they think is Charity). 

OK, that’s all the small group stuff! Everyone comes back as Penny finishes up with the lock and they go down into this room that’s full of polished, precious stones. This is probably where people who were upkeeping the temple stayed. While everyone else is going down, Sam feels some powerful magical pull--much like her episode 1 Lightning Lure--calling her from the top of the stairs so she goes back up. We’ll get back to her in a bit. 

Penny rolls a high check to clock what’s going on down here. First off, she finds flintlock bullets and airship uniform scraps which makes it seem like there was a battle here involving some airship guys from the Baronies. Which is not just the place of origin of Riz’s imaginary Romance Partner. It’s a cluster of nations known for high rates of monarchical turnover and renaissance style intrigue. I’m picturing just a nation of [REDACTED]s from Crown of Candy. 

With all of this stuff, Penny finds an emblem of a billionaire airship mogul named Lord Talcidimir Tallbreeze who is a friend of her dad’s. Yelle is immediately like FUCK billionaires which isn’t plot relevant but it’s nice to know she’s always on brand. 

Oh also, Penny just casually finds the Legendarium so that’s neat. 

To be safe, Ost casts Protection from Energy on Ant (who is the one who knows how to use it) and brings out her Spirit Guardian (who is a combo of her mom, nona, and Asha, with her dad’s rings). Ant checks it out and sees that there are currently no A, B, or C quests in all of Spyre. While Penny cross references the bylaws to see if there’s a way to get around this, Yelle does some druid BS that I still do not understand to use the crystals in the cave to jailbreak this super powerful magical Artifact so they can just have copies on their crystals. While that’s happening, let’s check on Sam. 

Sam goes back up the staircase where she sees Ending who doesn’t look menacing at all, just extremely sad. She’s looking out the mouth of the cave and, when she turns, Sam can see she’s crying blood. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Sam, the acid-tongued but good-hearted. “Can I help you?”

With a 25 Persuasion check to get her to talk, Ending apologizes for scaring her and her friends before. She didn’t mean to. She sometimes forgets that her very nature can be frightening and dangerous to others. She says that when she escaped, she tried to rejoin her sisters but found their mirrors shattered and them gone. Sam thought they escaped but that doesn’t make sense to Ending. If they had, why wouldn’t they have freed her as well?

Sam asks who her sisters were and we finally get true names for Ending and her sisters:

Chrona, Terra, Pyrria, Nira, Zefira, Anima, and herself, Talura (which is what I’ll be calling her now that we know). Talura is the baby, the youngest. Sam realizes she’s talking about the Eidolons and Talura seems surprised and a bit pleased that Sam recognizes them. 

Sam asks if she can hug her and Talura hugs her tightly in a very cold embrace that doesn’t hurt. Downstairs, she hears her friends (Penny specifically) freaking about about the lack of quests but she doesn’t break the hug. 

“My own sisters are struggling right now but I’m gonna stay with you because you don’t know where yours are. But maybe we can find them.”

Talura clocks that the way that Sam is being is her true nature, not the bitchiness she often uses as a shield. Then she starts to talk about her history. That she and her sisters were sealed away when the gods were done with them (Sam can relate to being used and set aside) and the only way out was death. Talura has been crying and looking for her sisters to no avail. Her tears of blood leaking seems to be what caused the monsters to mutate which is in line with what Yelle and Ant were sensing. 

Talura doesn’t think anything could have destroyed her sisters so she’s very confused. Sam offers Talura her Mirror of the Past because it almost knocked out Sam to get god-tier information but Talura presumably won’t have that problem. Talura offers her a boon in exchange for this great kindness but Sam says she doesn’t need any quid pro quo. “This is just because you’re hurting.”

Talura is supremely touched and still wants to do something for her new...friend? Sam accepts the title and says that what she needs is some help on her GED quest. Once she explains what she means, Talura again recognizes Aguefort and is like, Oh, you need a quest? I can totally help with that! As we learned earlier, these guys are kinda genie connected so it’s not super surprising when Talura very happily goes full your wish is my command.

Downstairs, a Class A quest suddenly appears in Spyre on the screen. 

Back upstairs, Talura says that it’s been too long since she got to grant a wish and seems really happy about it. Sam gives her the mirror so she can check what happened to her sisters but when she does, she totally flips out and gets super angry--not at Sam, just at whatever she’s looking at. She can hardly believe it. Sam tries to figure out what’s wrong but she just gets super big and then disappears into a puff of smoke, leaving Sam's mirror on the ground, covered in frost. 

Downstairs, the Class A quest expands across the entire globe and then the Legendarium cracks. Ost’s spirit guardian disappears because of alarm bells ringing in the afterlife. And the girls learn that a Class A quest is a quest that affects the whole MULTIVERSE. Yikes!

So anyway, they girls go upstairs to check on Sam (on a bear that Penny makes because sure) and they see that something clearly just happened with Sam. Yelle asks if she’s good and Sam is like yeahhhh I don’t think ANYONE is good right now. Sam seems like she’s about to cry and Antiope instantly forgets all the petty bullshit going on between them and rushes to make sure she’s not hurt. 

Sam gives the girls a rundown of what happened and Yelle concretely puts together what I said earlier about Talura’s tears messing with nature. 

Sam wants to check her mirror to see what Talura saw and Brennan says she can do it the safe way with risk of failure of the surefire way with risk of personal harm. She, of course, picks door 2 and rolls a 13 on her con save which means she rises into the air like Storm from X-Men, eyes wide, and then instantly passes out and goes into shock. Antiope is there to catch her as she does. 

Also, she looks SUPER hot while falling on a 31. Honestly, it’s a shame she doesn’t allow herself a social media presence. 

Anyway, we’ll get to what she sees in a bit. Yelle and Ant make sure she’s OK (she is, but the has to be knocked out for this or she won’t be able to handle it). 

Penny tells them what she knows about each Eidolon from her earlier research which is what element each goes with:

Chrona: Time (Related to astral and elemental planes) 

Terra: Earth

Pyrria: Fire

Nira: Water

Zefira: Air

Anima: Life

Talura: Death 

They also talk about TK never leaving via the front door and all this airship stuff being around. Maybe she left out the top of the mountain on an airship? Katja has the hookup with this Tal guy (she’s met him when she was younger) so they decide they need to check it out once Sam is good. 

The girls fix the Legendarium and Ost, when she goes to pray for her spells for the night, doesn’t pray to her usual god. She prays to Asha. And not only does she get her spells, she also gets a new one--Commune. 

And now let’s get to what Sam is seeing in her Vision Coma. 

She was told by Talura that the only way out of the mirrors given to them by the gods was death. And what Talura saw that drove her to do whatever multiverse threatening thing that she did was every one of her sisters walking out of their mirrors and choosing death. I will specifically highlight that the oldest sister leaves almost immediately with a small, “Oh,” of realization and Anima, the closest sister to her seems terrified before coming to a joyful realization and leaving.

And that’s the end of the episode! Join us next week when apparently there is talk of a masquerade ball?????? Brennan, you shouldn’t have!   

Superlatives 

Sam: Most Likely to Accidently Snag a Brand Deal

Did you guys ever read the Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche? Where Psyche was born so hot that it was basically a curse and she was miserable because she was so hot that Aphrodite hated her? That’s Sam. She is incapable of almost dying in a non-aesthetic way. It’s like a Pantene commercial every time. This is my favorite running gag.

Random Thoughts

Man, I have so many feelings about Sam. She’s such a BITCH in so many ways but it’s so obvious that she has a good heart. Every time she has an opportunity to be nice with no gain--helping Lola find her dog, magically turning the pages for the horses during book club, fully refusing a boon from Talura--she does. And I’m glad she gave Zelda such a sincere apology and didn’t let the extenuating circumstances absolve her because she said some pretty uncalled for things. But at her core she’s so kind and I want only good things for her. 

Also those of you who know me from my FH recaps know I’m a messy bitch for sister stuff so Talura and Sam both referring to the other maidens as her sister had me dead. You can tell when something in this show is f’ing me up when I just start directly quoting instead of paraphrasing. 

Katja being richer than Helio but having no idea what any of the brands Ost is mentioning are is peak comedy.  

As is Ant’s response to the take and penny leave a penny translation from Ost, “No, Penny didn’t come with us.”

Ost: I get service in the afterlife.

You could really tell which of the players watched Sophomore Year because the Baronies came up and all of them went into fight or flight immediately. 

Very Elsa vibes from Sam during the top of the scene with Talura. (Sam is, of course, a better sister but we simply do not have time to get into my feelings on Frozen 2 right now).

I was wondering why this season was called just “The Seven” when it dropped initially. Like, was it snappier? Did they not want to use the word “maiden”? But they still call themselves the Seven Maidens in the show so it’s probably not that. Now I’m wondering if it’s just to parallel the 7 of them w/ the 7 Eidolons. 

So it seems clear based on the reactions of the first and sixth sisters that they didn’t just “go gently into that good night” as Ant would say and ditch Talura. It seems like they figured something out. Also Brennan isn’t really a “and then they all died, the end” kind of DM, you know? Credit to my friend @camwritery for getting here before I did but the gods said the only way out was death and she is death so you know? Those def seem like puzzle pieces that go together. 

The only crit rolled this episode is a 1 by Penny which she gets to reroll as a halfling. 

[gayninjas]

(1/2) Okay so I'm still new to Naruto so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Also, this is long. I'm sorry. I'll split it.😅

Out of the K12 kids, Naruto, Sasuke and Neji were fucked over by Konoha (either by their clans, the old man hokage or the villagers). I'd include Rock Lee but I think he was just bullied as a small kid for being... weird? or not having chakra?? And he worked super hard and that didn't last long.

Anyway, I've read plenty of reviews about how the series ended poorly and how messages like "you can change your fate" were disregarded. That the the Naruto franchise would've done better staying an actiony, ninja shonen that focused more on changing the shinobi system instead of turning into the forced romantic shojo that it became. I agree with all of that.

And I said that to say this, I really am disgusted with how things went for Naruto, Sasuke and Neji. Naruto doesn't receive any apologies from those who should give him one (like the villagers! I think the old hokage bastard died so.. no apology there I guess). Like, I know Iruka apologizes to him and I don't know why. I know Iruka was Naruto's first bond, what'd he and only him have to apologize for.

Not only that but Naruto just accepts everyone and then hides the fact that those in charge of Konoha planned the Uchiha massacre!!! (Does Sasuke know he's doing that?) It's ridiculous to just hide the genocide committed by the state (because he's patriotic? Wants to stick to the status quo as much as possible while trying to change things??). And it's somehow worse to hide it when you have this intensely close relationship with the lone survivor of that genocide.

Like, why write Naruto like that? To receive no actual closure (imo) on how he grew up in Konoha and tp make him a top tier bootlicker

included the second part of the ask

(2/2) With Sasuke, that genocide happened and he was just left to his own devices on the outskirts. And he's treated as a villian for justifiably wanting to "destroy" Konoha and wanting a revolution. It gets under my skin how much the K12 kids don't give a fuck about stuff like this. (I like all of them (except for 2) and stuff like this sours my opinion on them)

Not only is he treated as a villain, it appears that no one pay's for the Uchiha massacre (except for Itachi?) which is bullshit. It's just swept under the rug. And THEN Sasuke is written to become another Konoha bootlicker??! He has to go off on his own to atone for his sins? What!

And finally Neji. He died as he knew he would, for the main house family. I will hate that forever and always. His destiny didn't change. Little!Neji in the chunin exams exposing how fucked up the Hyuuga clan is, no one (except Naruto?) cares. He gave Hinata a chance to back out before he killed her, which was allowed, she didn't, he was about to end it and then 4 teachers(?) jump in to save her because, special treatment. Can't let the (former) Hyuuga heir die, she means more than the other kids.

And he was treated as an antagonist for being rightfully pissed off. But no, he just gets over it I guess after befriending Naruto, the Hyuuga clan continues with its slavery bullshit and he dies sacrificing himself for Hinata. What a way to go.

And I know they don't address the slavery Neji wanted to abolish in Boruto. They just ignore it and act like everything's fine and dandy. Naruto isn't one of those series where things just happen offscreen and we know it's cool, right? They can't just expect ppl to think the Hyuuga clan changed right? They don't even focus on them, Neji died and so did any relevance to the Hyuugas because Hinata doesn't do anything.

(Had Neji lived I know he also would've been turned into a major bootlicker too)

In conclusion I can't stand how these 3 boys were screwed over by the village in many ways and then screwed over by bad writing. It's irritating. I love Naruto but there's so many problems with it.

i tried to be concise, hope i covered everything!

I agree that if the Naruto franchise didn’t end off with lackluster romance plots and instead gave closure for all the things they left open ended after the end of the war it would have made a much better ending to the series.

Kishimoto had even admitted he had trouble writing romance in as he hadn’t ever planned on it. He never considered it that relevant so when they did include it, the whole thing felt so forced and awkward it was even kinda ooc for Naruto and Sasuke (scenes like narutos flat ‘im not in touch with my emotions’ reaction to hinatas confession that butchered his character were an absolute pain to sit through)

Nejis death being an awful plot devise to develop NH was a terrible move, like neji sacrificed himself for someone who moments later held narutos hand and went "his hands are warm"??

Don’t even wanna list anything I dislike about ss cause their marriage is so lifeless i feel dead thinking about it.

As for the villagers, they were happy to alienate a poor kid who couldn’t fend for himself and let him believe he was a demon and was deserving of it all but then started licking his boots when they realized they had the equivalent of a nuclear weapon desperate to protect them, and even then they weren’t remorseful of their actions, its all very sickening really,

I think the whole end of Naruto was handled in a way that went against the characters values? like I can easily imagine Naruto being rightfully enraged at the people who issued the massacre of hundreds of innocents, and he wouldn’t ever think of hiding anything like that, especially from the victim who was also his friend??.

How they wrote sasuke as someone who now fucking bows down and becomes a soldier for a village that destroyed him and has done nothing for him is just absolute bs. Although with sasuke, even if one argues his loyalty was for Naruto, the patriotic lines are just too much.

As for the rest, I don’t have much to say cause they never tried to understand why sasuke was doing what he did, they only saw a power hungry uchiha who was seeking revenge.

And yes nejis end was tragic for all the wrong reasons, i was more pissed than sad watching it. He was treated as a tool for nh and his anger at the hyuga clan and their issues was brushed off without much thought because the series never delved into it or resolved it.

And yes we got no real closure for the uchiha massacre, all the messed up things in the hyuga clan and the way Naruto was mistreated his whole life etc. Its aggravating how they expect us to believe its all fixed and fine now

I really do love the pre shippuden arcs like the zabuza and haku arc especially though. They were the peak naruto experience for me and are always the scenes I reminisce and often get nostalgic over.

[floralkittygambler]

RadioDust is the Healthiest Toxic Ship for Angel so far

@honesthazbinarchives​ Briefly. I’d like to go into this more in the future BUT these are the main points I said I’d do. Heh ‘stay tuned’ for why HuskerDust is toxic [haaaa funny fuckin reference n shit like Viv herself aint overdone it]. Yer dont even wanna know the lack of enthusiasm in tryna do a playful ‘cringetopia’ joke - wasnt as fun as anticipated. Anyfuckinways, the shit. Before we begin, disclaimers n whatnot, no hate intended, dni if you’re a bit of a knobhead [either stan or extreme anti], an all that nonsense. I dont own the characters no shit.  In this I’ll discuss how RadioDust aka SpiDEER (thats right, yer stuck w my shit humour now) is both the healthiest ship for Angel we’ve seen so far but still rather toxic. Idc if you hate me for it but dont fuckin waste yer time telling me. Great. I dont care. Yer fuckin hard n whatnot for harassin strangers online. Big dick energy to you. This will be slightly messy, my apologies, it’s a quick summary of many points.

Alright. Firstly, out of the entire male cast Angel interacts with over all platforms, Al is given a fair bit of mercy in terms of sexual advances. In fact, a swift ‘no’ and Angel doesn’t do it again - unlike most of the other cast [pent’s is covert, husks is overt]. One thing I like is that Angel himself admits to their chemistry (claiming that whilst he thinks Al’s a prick, he thinks Al dislikes him which saddens him as he’d at least like to be friends as he feels they have good chemistry - according to the VA via Hunicast’s 1yr anniversary), there’s no further efforts to jump on his dick but a clear curiosity/interest in what Al can do.  Lets go to the basics, both are of similar age [allegedly in their 30s, though Ive heard Al may be up to mid 40s] as well as created near the same-ISH time (as in, Viv’s oldest characters, at least for HH). Likewise, Viv admitted to knowing fuck all on either of their eras (and to make that public wasn’t really a wise choice BUUUT if you felt the need, it’s better worded with interest “Right now I’m working towards educating myself more on their time periods to improve their portrayals” <-- crucial if yer want that ‘realism’). Because of their real-world ages, Viv confesses they’re her favourites (even if you didnt know, she makes it pretty clear). It could be a nice ‘homage’ to their impact in her life but not too relevant otherwise. It could fulfil the need for self indulgence that she’s unhealthily leaking into the canon - which will ultimately make the series shit. No sugarcoating there.  As for their ages, a relationship can work whether the gap is large or small HOWEVER there are many ethics and conflicts to each. And being an adult into kids is always fucked up. With that being said, studies have shown that closer ages often work better due to the often similarities in mindset, maturity and life goals (older folks are more likely to want to settle, younger often have more ambitions), likewise there tends to be an unbalanced power-dynamic if the ages are too far, which can lead to various types of abuse. Dont get me wrong, being with someone much older (AS LONG AS NONE OF YALL ARE KIDS) very much CAN work - but rarely. There’s much more hardwork needed as well as being in the right mindset for both, otherwise it’s bad. More on that in HD. Long story short, both are closer in age meaning both are more ‘relatable’ to one another. There’s common grounds, even in the eras there’s some higher understanding of one another. Notice how Vaggie and Charlie are similar in age? (Even though Charlie is far older, her appearance and mentality for her race is on par with Vaggie’s, making it far more likely to work out positively) One of the most prominent out of all of this however is their actual interests. So listing; Both like action/chaos/having fun (often at the expense of others), both love cooking and can be food snobs in their own right, both have sadistic AND masochistic tendencies, Al likes performance and theatre whilst Angel loves *to* perform, on that last point Angel was very intrigued and enjoyed Al’s song number/performance naturally, both really enjoy pranks and both enjoy liquor (neither show an actual addiction, but rather an interest in social drinking - no dependencies on it). Again, close eras mean both have a higher probability of understanding the other and their lifestyles better. Both are high on appearance and love themselves, implying self confident mindset (healthy BUT the narcissism isnt) yet enough consideration for how they are viewed. On the parent system, one adores his mama whilst the other hates his pops.  Now Ive gone on about how they’re similar. But similarities ALONE is not enough. If it was, then fandom’s would be a lil more harmonious~ A HEALTHY relationship needs compatibility, POSITIVE conversation flow, common grounds, trust, openness and understanding. Even then, some people click and some just dont. It’s like how you can just hate someone for no reason. It just IS. Common grounds and similarity is scientifically proven to be attractive to someone - be it good or BAD. People are drawn to those like their parents in some way usually, likewise we look for people similar to ourselves (from our interests, to humour, beliefs, goals, etc). Science itself states that ‘opposites attract’ solemnly applies in the real world successfully. Though similiarity plays a large role, there has to be some differences too - that person is STILL an individual separate to yourself. Too similar and it’s boring. Too similar and you’ll do everything together without some ‘you’ time. Both Vaggie and Charlie have similar interests/hobbies in dance and music, yet still have enough differences to be identifiable when together. Vaggie is more grounded than Charlie. Charlie gives some optimism and fun to Vaggie. Remember, a partner does NOT complete you - that’s a toxic mindset when taken too seriously, You complete YOURSELF. Whether you have someone or not, you must feel complete in yourself as to not slip into toxic dependency on a lover - to become them, a shadow of them or feel like you’ve lost your identity without them. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Chaggie compliments each other without a dependency. You stand alone yet uplift one another. You don’t always agree but in the end you always have each other’s backs. Love is often butchered in a toxic light in the media.  So taking that into consideration, how does spideer work? Well, here’s some examples of good, bad and neutral: - Angel loves animals, Al fears/dislikes dogs. Perhaps Angel could assist him in overcoming this? - Al hates being touched, Angel dislikes being squeezed. Maybe this could help them reach an understanding... Or cause a rift? - Angel was the only one to break Al’s composure, either Angel is the *key* to delving further into Al’s more raw self... Or just another obVOXious pest? (yeah, I said it-) - Neither respect other’s boundaries, meaning both may fuel the other to be overly disrespectful in this area. Not good. - Angel is a sarky/sarcastic fuck, Al loves dry humour. Both seek amusement and chaos. In relationships one needs to see how conversation flows and in the hunicasts, both keep up some good as well as toxic banter. Both could roast the fuck out of an opponent however. - Al is acro/ace, Angel is hypersexual (appears like a sex addict - now I say this as his book has a crossed out ‘fun stuff’ with ‘work shit’ written on it. He’s always fixed on sex from his job to his humour), this could either aid Angel ease up on the sex stuff OR make him overly push it onto Al causing major rifts and discomfort (aces can have sex, ref to ace posts that real asexuals put to understand more but no one wants to be forced into sex is the point here). And we’ve already discussed their lack of respect for boundaries. The positive is that maybe this will make Angel understand how Val is rubbing off on his own behaviour towards men [again, more on that in the HD post]. - Both similar yet different in a way that does suit their compatibility chances but that doesnt mean they will click, it just improves the odds. - Both have similar enemies in Val and Vox, they’re on common terms. Likewise, Al is against the ‘sexual deviance’ of hell meaning he may be oddly supportive and protective of Angel in terms of Val. I dont even think his sadism will override this either. - Al dislikes modern tech, Angel seems to use it as his job requires it. A nice little menial difference. - Only ONE is an addict. Take it from an expert, you NEVER put two addicts together. They’re very vulnerable and prone to slipping deeper into their addictions as well as depending on each other too much that they essentially become very clingy, suffocating and toxic to each other. Seen it in action, it’s ugly.  - Both could have a lot of fun and calm moments with each other. - He isn’t immediately smitten with Al but immediately shows a natural interest in Al’s powers and performance, embracing it openly. Leads for a good friendship turned lovers plot. - In Viv’s patreon, she confirmed Angel loves confident guys [sounds exactly like Al] We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea.  Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict.  Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both.  Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate. I live with an ‘Angel Dust’ like person. It used to feel like life gave her everything and most times it did. Everyone loved her and she could get away with murder if she wanted to. But now she’s had to struggle and grow, let go of some ‘wants’ because they werent good for her and she’s becoming better for it. She has a long way but she’s more humble for it now [still got self confidence but it’s less narcissism now, which is more healthy for her]. Also, they make the word anal lol

[library-with-tales]

Bungou Stray Dogs Band AU that I spontaneously came up with like a second ago.

Based off the mobile game if you haven’t noticed. Someone probably already thought of this buuuuut I like my idea so here we go:

World setting

Port Mafia, Armed Detective Agency and The Guild are music agencies while the other smaller groups are just bands (haven’t read manga yet but I’m aware there are other groups). The Special-too-long-of-a-name people are the big boy cooperation (I am so uneducated with the music world why do I do this to myself).

Port Mafia are filled with talented people yes, but they have the habit of straining the music artists sometimes (this will be relevant in a bit) and are more focused on the monz. If you want a reference, their music are on the same level as your good ol’ big pop groups, the real famous on the radio ones.

Armed Detective Agency (in this case they’re called Armed Music Agency, yes they are still armed) is a smaller agency since they prioritize quality and feelings over quantity and catchiness, which makes them pretty indie tbh, They have songs that don’t particularly appear on the radio a lot, if not, not at all. Though they’re talented all the same.

The Guild are basically the equivalent to K-pop and J-pop, not quite famous in Yokohama, but definitely famous enough to go on tour there.

Atsushi’s arc

There were a few ideas for him (music school was in the draft but I dunked it faster than I pulled it up) but it boils down to one thing: Atsushi accidentally becomes a famous singer from an old video he made when he wasn’t fully into music yet. He, being the oblivious guy he is, suddenly starts gaining fans and is beyond confused yet appreciates it very much.

Though not sure why people are calling him the Beast below The Moonlight (Plot twist, you big stupidhead, that was the title of the old song you made). He goes along with it though, calling himself Moon Tiger, which is so him honestly.

Anyways it’s not Dazai if he doesn’t try to drown himself so while Atsushi’s vibing by the open canal he just sees him. Like canon, Atsushi saves Dazai. But the thing about Atsushi is; he’s camera shy and most of his videos have him covering his face and out of camera view, so Dazai doesn’t immediately recognize him as the famous youtube singer.

As thanks, Dazai treats Atsuhi to dinner with Kunikida, and Dazai has a hunch that Atsushi is Moon Tiger so they start a small convo about it. Atsushi’s all; “ERRRRMMMMMMM” and he wants to leave until:

“Y’know, whoever Moon Tiger is, I’d totally pay a lot of money to hear him sing.” Dazai hums. Kunikida kinda agrees to this, saying how talent like his shouldn’t come totally for free. Atsushi doesn’t ask for donations or get youtube money (because he dunno how :( ) so he’s almost flat broke, and this kinda perks his interest.

“Actually, uh, I kinda know Moon Tiger. I didn’t want to bring it up because I thought you’d ask for autographs or something ha ha. I agree with the paying part.” Atsushi you’re low key greedy ngl, Pre-Bullshit Atsushi was greedy. Money-eyed hoe. “If you want I can get you to meet him, but he won’t wanna show his face so it’s gotta be somewhere he can hide himself while still being able to sing.”

“Done!” Dazai holds his hand out like it’s some sort of deal. “I know a place.”

I’m sorry Dazai, but I’m not smart or sexy as you, so I don’t know the place. Let’s go with the regular canon spot, yeah? And Dazai listens while Atsushi sings behind a big crate and when Atsushi is done, he expects money but he gets a thunderous applause instead and suddenly his identity is revealed and everyone is clapping and staring at him super amazed.

And Atsushi faints from being too overwhelmed. 

Anyways, things happen, some parts are alike to canon, some parts aren’t. Atsushi’s main goal in this AU is to get over his terrible stage fright while simultaneously trying to avoid clashing with Port Mafia, who at first, wants to recruit him before he fully signs the contract with AMA.

I don’t know how battles would work in this, but they happen.

Dazai’s backstory

So my man Dazai amirite?

Not a surprise, he used to be under Port Mafia. At some point he does numerous collabs with free lancer Chuuya because Chuuya’s little sheep band had an issue with copyright with Port Mafia (oops). 

Onto the main course though: Odasaku.

Ango is in charge of Oda and Dazai, who usually does music together because they’re friends (hurray). But Oda had long gave up on doing vocals because his throat just couldn’t handle it, he much prefers writing music and Dazai doesn’t mind because he never has extremely big ideas anyways.

A clash with Mimic happens and Mori’s all: We need more music we need to stay number one. And so -I dunno how- he forces Oda to finally use his voice to sing via Ango’s persuasion.

Oda completely loses his voice in the end, like he completely damaged it, and he can’t handle the music industry anymore so he leaves. And Dazai’s all: “Don’t go please.”

And Oda writes on his phone and holds it out for Dazai, “This agency. It doesn’t care much for music, does it? I used to sing because I liked singing, because there were feelings in it. But slowly this agency stopped me from being able to do that. Dazai. Don’t you think you should sing with feelings too? You’ve never made an opinion on my ideas, is it because you can’t or you won’t?”

And Dazai realizes he only likes doing music because of the people around him, especially Oda, and now that Oda isn’t in Port Mafia anymore, it just isn’t the same. He’s been making music to grab people’s attention and not much because he wanted to. So he decides to change and switches agencies.

(His relationship with Akutagawa is as straining as canon; “I don’t care about how you made this dumb song, it’s not good enough! How will anyone want to listen to this crap?” Now Aku’s music are catchy and all but lacking in meaning.)

Other things

Yosano’s music is pretty rough, but it literally lets all the feelings out, so it becomes pretty nice. So you know that music that cures this and cures that? That’s Yosano’s music, except it’s really hardcore. I don’t know how she does it, she just does.

Kyouka is the daughter of two big music geniuses and is expected to be the same, so she gets an immediate acceptance into Port Mafia and it nearly breaks her until Atsushi meets her. During a concert or something -because in the end, Atsushi’s still the fan boy type- Atsushi goes up to Kyouka and asks if she’s okay and stuff.

“I’ve made 35 songs, but I can’t...hear my own voice, my own music...” Your Lie in April ref do not hunt me please. 

Ranpo is known to have serious in depth meaning behind his music, and a good 20% are just matryoshka songs (he gives out stuff if you find out if his song is an in depth meaning one or just nonsense that somehow speaks meaning while having no theme at all)

Poe’s are somewhat the same as Ranpo, except they’re more like stories to be honest, and his songs get numerous fan interpretation and so far, Ranpo always gets it right. The only one who ever does without missing a beat (ha ha got em.)

Debating if I should just make Kunikida an agent or a music artist that just likes writing songs rather than performing them.

Naomi could be an idol ngl but she’s not, she’s her brother’s number one fan! (She’s a secretary in the agency.)

Chuuya’s more famous for his pretty looks than his music at this point, but it doesn’t mean he’s a shit music artist though.

Higuchi is Aku’s agent.

Kenji’s songs are so happy and go-lucky it makes anyone listening to it feel pumped up. Hence his music are often used in AMVs or sports exercise (what a range!)

Yumeno’s music are those cursed type of songs that weren’t meant to be creepy or weird to begin with (e.g Tonight You Belong To Me, it’s an innocent song yet it can be taken as horror(?)) but end up becoming one anyways.

Dazai’s songs are so sad sometimes but they’re always upbeat. A weird yet perfect balance for his listeners.

That’s all I got! Honestly, don’t really know how to develop The Guild in this, maybe one day I will. 

[lit--bitch]

Current-Reads (20/04/2020 - 26/04/2020) 🍓🐢

(Disclosure: I don’t know anybody I’ve been currently reading this week. 😊)

Adding the preface again here: every Sunday without fail I throw up the freshest literature and photography I’ve read over the week, sometimes it’s a book, sometimes it’s a piece I saw in a magazine or an online zine, sometimes it’s something I saw on social media, etc. Sometimes I add ‘RECOMMEND’ next to a few of the titles, but that’s not to say I don’t recommend all of them, I just love some pieces more than others. Not everything will be everybody’s cup of tea, yanno, c’est la vie. And any titles that you see in bold are hyperlinked so if you click or tap them they’ll direct you straight to the source… or shopping basket. 

This week I’m gonna throw in a red herring and tell you about something I’ve been watching as well as what I’ve been reading, because I think it’s really cool and definitely appropriate for the age we’re living in at the moment. 

So I’ve been reading: Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) which was edited by her son, David. I also read an interview on Granta from March between Rachel Long and Morgan Parker. I’ve also tucked into a couple pieces on Fence, Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’ and Anthony Michael Morena’s ‘The Whale’. I also saw Cecelia Knapp’s poem in Bath Magg Issue Three (but the whole issue is an absolute smacker, it’s great). Last but not least, I’m up to episode 5 of a brand new thing called The Midnight Gospel. It is crazy good. And it’s on Netflix right now. 

***

Cecilia Knapp, ‘I Used To Eat KFC Zingers Without Hating Myself’, Bath Magg Issue #3: I really loved the whole of Issue Three, I guess I was quite struck by this particular poem for its “staccato-ness”. This poem is buttered with present-day references. But they’re not necessarily about creating a familiar environment. Rather the object of familiarity is found within the assemblage of places, snacks and thoughts, all of which compound the grief ‘I’ is experiencing. The ‘I’ ruminates on life’s banality and their personal insecurities in living banality: ‘I need a thigh gap. I use emojis / to avoid conflict. Worry I’m a gentrifier. Watch docs about murdered women’. The vapidity is funny. The pain is not. The insecurities deepen. Your body, your life, continues the ache of day-to-day routine, and finds no resolution in the things which may or may not stand to comfort oneself when ravaged by loss. The poem feels quite loose, and disinterested. It’s a sore poem, but its array of references make it colourful. It sort of reminded me of Édouard Levé’s work a little bit? But if Édouard Levé had been a pop culture fanatic chewing HubbaBubba bubblegum on the London Overground.  Bath Magg is a pretty exciting new magazine, (been around just under a year I think?) and they’ve published a lot of great writers, many of whom are emerging and I’ve spotted some quite established peple in there too. Kudos to their rubber ducky logo. It’s run by Mariah Whelan and Joe Carrick-Varty. 

In Conversation with Morgan Parker and Rachel Long, Granta Magazine: I deeply love Morgan Parker’s work, she’s, in my opinion, the master of titles. I can’t think of anybody who titles their work as well as Morgan Parker does. And I love the depth of honesty and charisma in this interview. Like yeah, it appears to be a generic Q/A but, it genuinely feels like a conversation, and it’s welcoming and unpretentious. Rachel Long asks some penetrating questions, and Morgan’s answers are so detailed and self-aware. Most of the discussion revolves around the action of writing poetry in general and where does that impulse arise from, but they do discuss Morgan’s latest collection Magical Negro which came out February last year. It’s a narrative on black womanhood, on micro-aggressions and reoccuring violence, it’s about breaking down white perceptions of blackness, and dissolving those projections. What I love about Morgan Parker is she’s tackling this fucking idiot thing where (mostly) white people think she’s attempting to represent all black women in her writing, which is, by Morgan’s own admission, impossible. Her work is a duty to herself, to the background she’s lived and lives, and to unpack that discourse in her own way. And if it resonates, then great! I felt all this was inherent in the interview and only adds to my respect for her, and to Rachel for being such an attentive interviewer. BTW Rachel Long has a debut collection coming out this July, My Darling from the Lions.

Anthony Michael Morena, ‘The Whale’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): I can’t tell you how much I adored this beautiful mass of whale and word. It’s an essay which references the American Natural History Museum’s Blue Whale model. The writing is thick with feeling and fat with concern. It blends monologue, memoir. It’s non-fiction and documentary. It’s elusive, enigmatic, fragmented. It’s like broken biscuits and blubber. To me it felt like a note on the offences of climate change, the emotional response and grief as we bystand erosion and corrosion, the loss of life, and the urge to merge something back together as it dissolves and fragments before our eyes. It’s as personal as it is public. A gorgeous and complex piece.

Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) (RECOMMEND): I felt so afflicted reading Susan Sontag’s diaries, because y’know, it’s the equivalent of invading an Ancient Egyptian pharaoh’s tomb. Like, leave people alone. At the same like, this woman. These diaries are still shaping me, and each section leaves you with the weirdest aftertaste. Her personality permeates through every detail, every line-break, every reference and articulation of feeling. You learn so much, you gain so much from her perceptions and observations. How do I contain Susan Sontag? How do I describe these diaries? Not at all. Just buy it. 

Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): My eyes locked onto this piece and just didn’t really stop reading. Lexi’s voice is enamouring and hypnotic. It’s so violent too. You’re lunged into friction burns and sports injuries, time and progression, the tensions between collectivity and individuality, family and sexuality, or as Fence put it, ‘lesbian eros’. This piece felt acidic. At times you can’t tell if the ‘I’ is indifferent or hurting to the point of numbness. It straddles so many different thematics, and breaks down a lot of conventions pertaining to the “ideal experience” of family relationships and team work. The resolution seems to be that in spite of people, our collectivity is defined by our collective solitude. This essay kicked me around a football field. It takes a good few repeated reads to appreciate its kaleidoscopic shifting, but it’s definitely one of my favourites.

The Midnight Gospel, from Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell, Netflix: (RECOMMEND) So the other day my friend Ben linked this to me and I had seen the trailer ages back and thought “Oh yeah I really wanna watch that”, but just forgot. After his reminder, I started watching it and ever since I’ve been saying to loads of other friends “Have you watched ‘The Midnight Gospel’ on Netflix?” because I’m d y i n g  to talk about it with everybody. 

I literally can’t categorise this “TV show” to you. It’s like if animation had a baby with a philosophy podcast and then put that baby onto an IV drip of psychedelics. It’s this swarm of different stimuli which you kind have to zone in on and absorb individually and yet somehow collectively. 

So like, “Clancy” is a spacecaster who sets up “spacecasts” (podcasts) with creatures from other simulated worlds and he interviews them. But when Clancy transports himself into these worlds, it’s not like they’re sat down on some cream sofa with two glasses of water like it’s animated Oprah. No, his interviewees are like in the middle of fighting off a zombie apocalypse or meditating on a mountain or trying to find and save their lost lover. And Clancy just joins them on the journey and interviews them about their “specialism”. These are real people that are being interviewed like, the first episode is with Dr. Drew Pinker. And when you’re watching it, you think that the animation is totally separate to the conversation exchange the characters are having, but that’s not true. They have intersections, they have meaning. It only becomes obvious that it has meaning right at the end of each episode, but if you lock on you’ll see it’s all relevant throughout. 

One of my friends was like “Oh I might stick that on tonight and have a joint” and I was like, don’t fucking get high when you’re watching this because it’s already intense enough as it is, like you know that Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell have felt some real shit to create this absolute rare jewel. In my opinion, you don’t need cannabis to appreciate these discussions. But if you wanna do it, then hey it’s a “free country”. And it’s not as though there’s a serious, central core plot like there is with Rick & Morty, I mean there is a kind of overarching plot but it’s not always integral. Like ultimately we’re invested in Clancy’s story but also all the stories of all the other people that come his way. There’s multiple plots, there’s multiple dimensions and ways of seeing. It’s a programme which delivers on multiplicity, which manifests itself in everything and everyone we see and know and touch and hear, etc, etc. 

This production articulates some of the revelations that psychedelics can give you. Psychedelics don’t make you see the world literally like these animations do, but the sensations of the animation are reminiscent of an acid trip’s oscillating moods and sensitivities. It’s really cool, and it’s very poignant, and it’s my new favourite show to watch. And what’s so great about it is that, it requires multiple watches in order to really absorb everything in its entirety, so it’s a series you can just keep going back to even after you’ve seen them all. It’s re-watchable. Just fundamental goodness all round. Best way to indulge in it is with ice cream. 🍨

***

So that’s it for this week, next Friday’s review is Annie Ernaux’s A Girl’s Story translated by Alison L. Strayer, published with Fitzcarraldo Editions. 

Stay safe and well as always, my little caramels. 💁🏽

[emperorlotorr]

Why are the faunus even a thing in rwby?

I made some post about how I wanted a faunus subplot to be handled in V7 of rwby but by doing so I began questioning the faunus as a whole in rwby.

Why do the faunus exist in rwby? Why does the White Fang? Why is there a hint of a racism allegory subplot that’s never used?

I don’t need to make any arguments about how rwby utterly fails to show any faunus discrimination that matters in the show. Plenty of people on the internet have done so and it really boils down to: roosterteeth keeps telling you that they’re mistreated but shows you almost the complete opposite. Faunus are never discriminated against in the school, a faunus fucking runs a main school in Mistral, there’s faunus in leadership positions, there’s faunus just walking around, no one cares when Blake reveals herself a faunus. Literally no one cares. To get this in perspective: Change the faunus into what they’re supposed to be an allegory for: Imagine a histroy setting where a subplot is slavery/racism against black or any other nonwhite people. But the black people are treated equally, they get leadership positions, you never see any black person suffer from racism, they just tell you: slavery/racism is happening. And then, the black people, just decide to start murdering people to get equality I guess. And instead of being painted as the victims they are, they’re painted as terrible murderers and criminals. Exactly what they’re being accused of and discriminated against for. 

The White Fang exists, and the reason for their extremism at the start is weak as shit. Why do they exist? Why does roosterteeth make an extremist group like this??? They paint the White Fang in a terrible light, they’re extremists for no good reason, they murder people for the equality they already have but you’re told they don’t and they’re never seen as morally grey, only as evil. Why didn’t they just make them some evil group then? Because Cinder and salem already have that schtick I guess?

If you make an allegory to racism, if you want to make your world deal with racism and want to base it off of real racism in the real world, Why deliberately do such a bad job of it? They want the racism allegory card but they don’t want to do the work. they don’t wanna put in the work to put in some scenes or important and morally grey characters. 

BUT! What about Ilia. Yeah what about her? The worst thing that happened to Ilia, was her parents dying in a mining accident and the worst part of that, is that this is the second biggest actual show of racism in the entire fucking series. Ilia is the Remnant equivalent of white passing, in this world she’d be privileged and her parenents died I guess? Which again, we’re told by the way, not shown. Ilya could have been interesting, a lot more interesting, had the show already established this racism properly but it hasn’t and Ilya’s (and basically every white fang members) motivations fall flat.

And then: Adam. Why give Adam that scar/brand? Why if you’re never gonna bring it up again. Blake and Yang tell everyone what happened on the ship and the only reaction we get from Weiss is “I’m sorry you went through that but I’m happy you had Yang” yeah okay so, I guess the brand wasn’t relevant then. Why would you give the person you’ve been making an abuser, you’ve been making inexcusably evil and horrid throughout the show, who you’ve never shown in any good light a fucking faunus??? Why would you give Adam the White Fang angle? Why what’s the fucking point? Adam could have been just an abusive person, wouldn’t have ever needed to be a fucking faunus because you’re not going to explore any faunus subplot properly? He could have been some angsty piece of shit gangsta boy and it would have changed nothing. Put things into perspective: Imagine Adam being PoC, the only PoC in the entire fucking show to be shown having been abused and mistreated. And the PoC is the most horrible, psychopathic murderous scumbag in existence. Getting the picture?

Now, you might be thinking: “They wanted Bake’s personal story to be interesting and to tie it in with the rest of the world properly.” Listen to me, Yang has a fucking great arc, she has a fucking great backstory and motivation, she wants to find her fucking mom. And guess fucking what? Raven is the Spring maiden!!! She ties into the plot perfectly and her bandits and role are small scale enough to do properly without needing the hard work and consideration a faunus subplot needs. So raven feels a lot better done and the same goes for Weiss. Weiss’ entire backstory and arc is the Heiress under the thumb of her abusive father. The SDC is much better established than the White Fang because it’s just a company. It doesn’t need much, some referrences to it, a logo here and there, some people recognizing Weiss as the heiress and boom, you’ve got it all set up. But the faunus subplot they’re trying for need so much more than that and the problem is they treat it exactly the same as Yang and Weiss’ subplot but it doesn’t work that way.

Rwby would have been perfectly fine without the White fang or the faunus. But they wanted to give Blake Cat Ears and they wanted to be angsty about it yet they didn’t want to do the research necessary to pull it off properly. They had the premise, they had the possibility and chance but they didn’t want to take it because that would be too much work.

(I’m not saying they should have focused on the White Fang and faunus alone and leave the main story, as if that’s the only way to do this subplot justice. The only thing they had to do was pepper in the racism now and then but they fail to do even that. They could have done the brand reveal earlier (or on someone else) and done it justice, they could have had some characters we know react very negatively to Blake being a faunus, they could have avoided putting faunus in power deliberately, make one of the teachers obviously racist, literally shown a faunus being barred entrance instead of some sign)

[antthonystark]

tbh the whole downworlders= poc is a little weird cause downworlders are literally part demon... and werewolves and vampires have actual violent urges that can get out of control and also the allegory was created by a white person so idk it bothers me a little

okay so i didn’t really wanna get into this again but, uh, here we go 

so i wrote a pretty comprehensive post on how i feel about how people have interpreted the allegory in shadowhunters here. the essential thing is, people take it as this face-value “x fantastical thing = y real-life thing” and thinking that it is a direct instrument of political opinion or discourse, rather than a very loose figurative/rhetorical device of literature/storytelling.

i don’t look at the allegory as “downworlders are 100% equivalent to poc” - it’s an oppressive system that exists  only in this urban fantasy world, which has some definite and deliberate connections to oppressive structures in the real world, without necessarily being a complete, perfect depiction of those (including structures of racism and white supremacy). and a good allegory doesn’t have to be a complete, perfect depiction of real life - its purpose in storytelling is to allow for reflection on real-world issues through the lens of a fantastical, fictional one, where vampires and fairies and werewolves are oppressed by angels in a way that is tenuously similar to some real-world structures. in that, i think it’s a successful allegory, but people have wildly misinterpreted it. 

elaboration below 

the first example of effective allegory i like to use is zootopia, whose predator/prey allegory is the most overt and heavy-handed that i’ve seen in popular media (not that that’s a bad thing). what it accomplishes is, it allows for people to think about prejudice, fear, and stereotypes through this fictional animal world. however, it’s not a perfect, face-value depiction of the real world by any stretch of the imagination. for one, there is no “oppressor” and “oppressed” - prey are stereotyped as stupid and weak and spaces like the police force are clearly structured against them (and judy’s “a bunny can call another bunny cute, but when another animal does it…” speech shows that prey are prejudiced against and that there ‘cute’ is effectively allegorical for a reclaimed slur) and predators as savage and, in the case of foxes, untrustworthy. so you can’t look at zootopia and go, “the white people are x animal and the poc are y animal.” but that doesn’t mean that the allegory is not effective. 

in that, i think we can apply the same principle to the allegory in shadowhunters. it’s not meant to look like real life in every way, and its primary purpose is not to be an allegory to real life, but rather the clave/downworlders rifts are primarily meant to drive conflict within the story first and foremost, which means it’s not going to always correspond perfectly. but i would argue that that’s not the point of it anyhow. 

the second example of allegory, this time much more relevant and similar to TMI/shadowhunters is, of course, harry potter. blood purity = oppressors vs. oppressed, with the added axis of discrimination against sentient magical creatures like house elves, centaurs, and werewolves. again, which of these populations perfectly corresponds with groups and oppressive structures in real life? none, really. they echo many different types of oppression in real life, and do so effectively enough to provide reflection on such real-world issues again through a fantastical lens. 

but the more significant similarity between harry potter and TMI is simply that, unlike zootopia and unlike how many people interpret shadowhunters, the allegory is not the main narrative focus of the show. this isn’t orwell’s animal farm, where the only purpose is to be a cautionary tale against stalinism through the story of the animals. in contrast, both harry potter and TMI (and shadowhunters, although the ensemble nature of the show masks it a little) are three major things before they are an allegory: 1. a hero’s journey 2. a fantastical bildungsroman and 3. a good vs. evil plot. 

a hero’s journey is one of the most common story structures in western canon, from greek mythology to jesus to harry potter and beyond - and clary’s journey undoubtedly makes her the hero in the hero’s journey. you can read up on it in great detail here but essentially it’s a broad arc that encapsulates a “departure” an “initiation” which changes the hero in some key way (”apotheosis”, an elevation) and then a “return”. a bildungsroman is a coming-of-age story; and “good vs evil” is the most basic of all fantasy plots, i don’t really need to explain it 

so that’s why i think that people need to chill about the allegory basically, because it does play second fiddle to a whole lot of other story forms and narratives that take precedence, and therefore the story serves these - the hero’s journey - before it serves the allegory. such that, clary being the “hero”, if you are only looking at the allegory and not the hero’s journey, is going to make her look like a “white saviour”. if you ignore the allegory and look only at the hero’s journey, she’s the “heroine.” if you look only at the bildungsroman aspect of it, she’s just a young protagonist who comes of age/loses innocence as a result of the events of the story. integrating all of them, she’s some mix of these things that is none of these things at all, if that makes sense. 

[greatamericansatan]

Edgie Comics: on TV

Content Warning: Statutory Rape, Homophobia, Biphobia, Eating Disorders, Fatphobia, let me know if u think I should mention anything else…

Social justice score: 1 out of 5

So Archie Comics got hella weird in the Nü Millennium, with attempts at maintaining relevance by reaching different audiences. One of those tacks was to make a series of serious adult-ish comics with edgy elements written by Mark Waid. Now adult-ish edgy Archie is on The CW and to kill a minute I’m watching the first episode. Thoughts as they come… 1) They open with a mystery about a wet dead teen in a forested town with secrets, so Twin Peaks is being explicitly homaged. We’ll see how that goes. The editing, pace, and pretty much everything is too modern TV to evoke David Lynch, but whatever. Total ripoffs are embarrassing.

2) They say Cole Sprouse – who is I guess a disney expat / internet celeb – is pushing to have his character be asexual, as he is in current comic canon (which itself is very consistent with the character over the years spurning love for cheeseburgers). So coo, but then, I’ve heard rumor Sprouse is a crappy dude, so ehhhhh. As I mentioned he’s playing Jughead here, and in a move that surprised me, he’s acting as the Doogie Howseresque laptop-typing narrator of the show.

3) Betty’s gay best friend type espied Archie’s new hot bod from the house across the way and was like, hubba hubba. Gay lust is edgy. But at the same time, he described Arch as “swell,” not “swole.” So they’re mixing the edge with the faux-retro cheese. Another Twin Peaks point.

                                                   heyoooooo!

4) LUKE PERRY AS ARCHIE’S DAD!?! I love it. He has aged into Bryan Cranston, but without current success adding “importance” to the performance.

5) Hey Reggie is Asian. And a beefy all-American jock jerkbro, so getting away from the usual stereotypes in at least one department. Cool.

6) Oh so gay best friend is the gay character from Archie Comics circa now, named Kevin Keller. And they hung a lampshade on the trope. No escaping stereotypes for this lone homosexual.

7) The Pussycats are all black girls. Hello there. Kinda sassy, not sure if that’s canon or stereotypes. Either way, shutting down the intruding white boy, so good job. Sugar Sugar sucks anyhow. (I think the actor playing Arch is a wee bit Maori but not sure, nonetheless he’s white in this story.)

8) Holy shit. Sexy Miss Grundy?!?!? This might be the case in the comics too, I never read them. Only caught a bit of press. Well, it’s statutory rape time, whatever the case. Hooray?

9) Mädchen Amick’s name in credits? Also we’re just now seeing credits? Ah, she was Betty’s mom, didn’t recognize. Well, Twin Peaks point three.

10) Luke Perry again, boy, he seems as smoked out as he did in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So chill. And yet, we’re probably supposed to buy him pooping on Archie’s dream of playing shitty pop songs, instead of being more like Tommy Chong letting Rae Dawn be in all the movies.

                                                  just add weed

11) Oh god no, it’s the actual songs they’re doing for Archie. Coming soon to a Starbucks near you. x_X bleeeeah

12) GBF: “Is cheerleading still a thing?” Cheerleader: “Is being the gay best friend still a thing?” Oh, sick burn. Homophobia is totally equivalent to mocking school clubs. Plus the lampshading wasn’t even working the moment the character appeared, now it’s totally shot to hell. You don’t get to call your own writing sucky preemptively to hope the audience won’t criticize it.

13) Was the cheerleader implying Betty’s meal of a muffin, an apple, some vague leaf, and water might make her too fat to cheerlead? Good times. Even from a character we’re clearly not supposed to like, I don’t accept this. For now tho, I feel like I can press on. For the sake of this review. I did, after all, finish the second season of The Strain.

Yes. She was saying she was too fat. And how to help her feel better? To say, oh no you aren’t fat. Because being fat is inherently bad, rather than something that only sucks because of diet industry moolah-fueled fatphobia saturating our culture. That’s what I want to think about during my entertainments.

14) Veronica calls Betty “queen bae of the strive hive.” I have to admit, I never watched the recent teen shows like Glee and what-have-you, but this seems a bit much. First hint of bisexualities on show tho?

15) Fuccck more Archie moaning musics with sexy Grundy listening in the sexfully dimmed music hall. But she seems reticent. No statutory rape for you today, Mr. Andrews. Oh, it’s time for murder mystery stuff. Didn’t see that coming.

16) Oh and now the edgy girl on girl kiss from the trailers for the show. And the context? This makes negative ten thousand sense. It’s offensive and foolish as hell. So Veronica’s bisexuality is just for show, great, that isn’t a biphobic trope against women or anything. My dude points out this writing would make sense in the context of a porno, if not anywhere else.

                    something foolish and offensive happened

17) This Mean Girls stuff isn’t really for me, so I don’t feel qualified to comment. Though it seems like they’re kinda rushing the development here, and will pay for it with filler episodes later in the season.

18) This polyamory tease will not last.

19) After school specialing across the universe. The more u know, the more u grow.

20) In this scene with Arch & Dad, did Arch just imply losing his virginity to statutory rapist made him a manly musical brooder?

21) Luke Perry defied expectations to be the understanding dad what tells u to follow ur star but with the great power-great responsibility Uncle Ben undercurrent. He will be the show’s conscience, won’t he?

22) “This post-James Franco world”… Veronica is kinda fun. I dunno.

23) Salacious gay biz must be mentioned but not seen. It’s only 2017. We’re not ready yet. Maybe when the world is on fire and we get a Movida Madrileña as the Trump dynasty begins to decay.

24) Spin the bottle to “ride the ginger stallion.” Sounds legit. Carry on.

25) Arch & Veronica in the closet. As they stand so close, things heatin’ up, she ends up looking cross-eyed and I wonder, does that happen to everyone when they try to make eye contact at close range?

26) Oh god we looped back to Sprousehead at the all nite diner. Narration again. Lay it on me, guy… Nope. Nothing of interest happened.

27) This big Archie Betty sad scene is what it is. She’s doing a good enough job of acting, he’s losing points because he has to be too manly to express big feels. “Yr 2 good 4 me” that’s some tired biz. Don’t hate yourself because you’re a rape victim, Archie. That’s my generous interpretation of his act here. I find Betty has a kinda cute nerd voice, didn’t really notice it before. Maybe it gets more charming with snotty tear time.

29) Jug narration continues beyond his scene. We did get the excuse for it – he’s novelizing the town’s dramas. But how does he know everything? French fry-based divination? Potatomancy?

                            jughead jones, potatomancer

30) A little hint of gay cocks that must forever be blocked, and a body is found to bring the show to a close. Mysteries! People standing around! Look at each other meaningfully. You know you wanna watch a season of this…

In the end, I only watched it because Archie Comics are a weird-ass American institution. Their mere continued existence at the supermarket checkout stand amuses me. As for the show? Arch looks too damn square-jawed and is too manly to show believable emotions. Stephen Amell on The Arrow is similarly the least expressive character on his show and still more believable than Arch.

The Archie/Veronica/Betty drama so far doesn’t seem too mean-spirited or egregiously sexist, might be the best thing on the show. They center the shared coming of age stories theme and it works fine, just not my thing. Anyone who saw the trailer and imagined you might see ladies lovin’ ladies should give it a hard pass. Even if they do tease with that later in the season, there’s no way they’ll stay with it, given the history of the characters.

As for the Twin Peaks homage, if you want the candy-coated parody of the visual style plus only the soap opera elements of the plot, you’re in luck. Otherwise, nuh. And for the show in its own right? I saw nothing to keep me around. The gay stuff is a side joke / tease job that will yield absolutely nothing of importance in the long run. I’m not that into soap operas with no fantasy, scifi, action, or horror element. I’ve never watched The OC, Party of Five, Beverly Hills 90210, etc. If any of you have more experience with that genre and saw this show, what did you think of it?

[deepinthehorrors]

So...about what the fuck Ouija Experiment

Um, so yeah. I’ve been working on this one for a while, It’s the first found footage horror I picked, and I picked it at random, but my god, I fucked up. Where do I start??

*two tokes and a beer later*

Ok, let’s begin. FIRST! Let me break down our five main characters

Brandon: A rude motherfucker with a camera who’s idea this all was and constantly gets on everyone’s nerves. He has no redeemable qualities and although he starts and documents the movie, he isn’t really the main character.

Michael: Acts like a neurotic asshole sometimes, a playful jackass other times, and completely bland everywhere In between and he’s our sorta actual main character?

Calvin: The most stereotypical narcissistic black guy it’s ever been my displeasure to see in a horror movie. A man who lies to get women in bed, uses them for favors and cheats on them. (Fuck this guy)

Shay: A rich dumb blonde stereotype who somehow got stuck in an Asian girl’s body, and is dating Calvin…and being used for her money by Calvin…and being cheated on by Calvin. (Fuck that guy)

Lynette : A stereotypical sassy, don’t play that shit black girl, to an insulting degree. For the most part she’s playful and thoughtful yet still is utter redickulous in her dumb moments, she’s also Calvin’s sister. (Fuck her brother)

So the movie is about fuckwad Brandon trying to film some supernatural shit for some film class shit. So he gets shay to get her boyfriend calvin to call his best friend mike to come to his house and film some spooky shit.

Before they set up the OUIJA EXPERIMENT they do little mini interviews that basically tell you what I did about the main characters without my filthy language….boring. That is all.

So immediately Mike starts getting on Brandon’s about sticking a camera in his face and not filming when they start using the board….like really bro? Tha fuck is up with that? You have invited a film student to your home for a OUIJA EXPERIMENT and you expect him NOT to film that shit? That’s your fuckin fault for not getting info from any of those people Brandon had to go through to get to you!! Dick!

Mike lays out the rules for ouijaing and explains that the most important rule is to say goodbye to send spirits away. So Apparently the board is like a portal or stargate or some shit? Lynette immediately says “fuck this shit I’m out!” But they pull her back. Let her go! She’s the closest to being likeable in this whole thing!!

Anywho when they start playing Branfucker sets the camera up to record it, (I dunno how he dose this without anyone noticing) and they start communicating with some from beeeyoooond the graaaaaaave……until Calvin’s phone rings and he gets up. He just gets up and takes the call, like he was just chillin and not talkin to a ghost. This redickulous dicking fuck dick puts a fuckin ghost on hold to talk to his side bitch? His girlfriend is at the table!

You wanna know what Brandon does? Follows him and sticks a camera in his face……leave the board and the supernatural phenom happening, the thing he came there to fucking do, leaves it to film Calvin on the phone with some ho???

Are you wondering how it gets better? You want some more? Ya thirsty boys? Ya hungry girls? Want something fucking great? Well to top off the torrent of insanity; Shay, who’s just now suspicious of Calvin, asks the board who he’s talking to….and it answers her.

She uses a supernatural Ouija board to find out if her boyfriend is cheating. And, I dunno what to say to that except…….sounds legit??

It’s unbelievable how little fucks anyone gives to the fact that they are talking to a spirit, and she’s more interested bout some bitch on the phone with her mans? Tha fucks? I think the only reason the spirit answered her is because she’s probably thinking “well if they don’t care why should I? Yeah your boyfriend put his dick in that girl on the phone, now let me be dead bitches”

So yeah, Shay and Calvin dead leave to argue or some shit and Mike and Brandon keep playing, getting a message to go to the bedroom. Lynette is the only one who’s actually unnerved by this message while the other two resolve to investigate on their own.

So at the mention of splitting up, Lynette dead says “y'all gonna split up and leave me alone? This is the part where the black girl dies cuz the two white people left? I’m goin’ with you!” and as stupid a line as that was, the cadence and energy she said it with was genuine…and a little funny.(forgive me my sins)

So back to big black hole of ass, who somehow resolved his shit with Shay, is in the very next scene trying to secretly record him and her having sex so he can put it online………

Now let me repeat that, cuz it bares repeating. This fuckboy, after cheating on his girlfriend and somehow making up with her, tries to convince her to have sex with him so he can secretly film it and put it online!

Ok, you know how offensive it is to women when they’re overly sexualized for no reason, have vapid or shallow characters and are only there to look good? Well here is the male equivalent, and I am offended. I can’t believe I’m saying this given my own ethnic background but fuck it, I hope this black guy DIES first. I hope he suffers. It would please me if he did. This schovanistic, masogonstic, alpha-male bullshit testosterone sucking pathetic excuse for a man should not be allowed to exist in there world or ours!

So back to Lynette and Mike who have relocated to Brandon’s place to get more Ouija info….for some reason. Wasn’t it Mike who had the Ouija board knowledge earlier? shouldn’t he know? This scene just drops a bunch of stupid ass references to internet celebrities and Daniel Tosh for whatever reason. (Does he know about this movie??) and outside of a light chuckle I got from Mike and Lynette annoying the shit outta Brandon (like he does to everyone else) the scene goes no where and does nothing.

So Mike Brandon and Lynette assemble again to play some more Ouija. Is Brandon out to make this an anthology movie? Cuz the plot is serpentining all over the place. Anywho guess who pops in to join the fun? Yay Shay! Oh wait, no…no she only there to ask more questions about her cheating fucker boyfriend.

Does she not get that he’s an asshole without supernatural guidance? You know with all the typical stereotypes shown, it’s funny that the Asian girl is as far away from any Asian stereotype as possible. I mean come on the board basically tells her the obvious “Bitch what did I say about his dick and other women’s vaginas? It’s in them, all the time! Stop asking me!”

She immediately has a conniption and ends up making everyone chase after her. She ends up at Lynette’s house much to her annoyance and I don’t know why she even let her in. That’s her brother’s girl, ain’t her responsibility. And Lynette has the attitude of “bitch why the fuck you crying on my couch?”

Wait, but they didn’t say goodbye to the board! *gasp* the portal is still open! Uh, so can they die now?

I mean shortly after Mike starts hearing noises and shit, but nothing of substance was shown. Then Shay hears noises at Lynette’s place, sees a 2 second faint image of a person, and then nothing of substance happens.

Oh wow, they went back to play Ouija part 3! I wouldn’t have seen that coming. I mean they can still say goodbye and close the ouijagate right? Fuckin right!?!? So Calvin comes thru to bitch out Mike about telling Shay that he’s a ho, and Doesn’t believe that the board told her. How do you not believe in the board that fucking channeled spirits? There’s footage! Witnesses! One of which is your own sister! What’s your deal you ass among men?!?! 

 After stealing the board and preventing them from saying goodbye, again, her proceeds to record himself using it to prove to Mike it’s not real and because of that brings one of the spirits to his house. And that fucker is pissed! “You doubt me son? You testing me?this is OUIJA’S house now! Fwaachaa!” Then she snaps his neck……Thankfully…..blessedly, Calvin dies. Gloria en excelsia deo. Blessed be the meek, for this pompous ass is dead. 

So get this, and you’re gonna love it, Shay calls Calvin and the ghost girl answers….. 

Shay:hey Calvin, I know you cheated on me used me for sex and money, but I still love you and want you back! 

Ghost:*grooooooan* 

Shay:oh you must be that bitch he cheated with, fuck you calvin’s mine!

Ghost:grrraaaall? 

Shay:that’s it! I’m coming over there! *click* 

Ghost:da fuck? 

Then she goes over and a possessed Calvin eats her face…. 

So I literally thought the movie wasn’t taking itself seriously and maybe I was taking it too seriously. But as Mike search for info on the ghosts we get some relevant info. To see who the ghosts once were you have a flashback/vision of the past where we see a mother killing her daughter and then blaming the murder on her mentally handicapped neighbor, then shooting him, then cutting her own throat……..DARK! What the fuck is this heavy shit doing here? Not only that, but the acting in this Segment is leagues above the main cast. So much it’s uncomfortable. Like comparing IT to fatal attraction.

So Brandon ends up his head cut off and I’m a little confused, cuz he didn’t even play son. Tha fuck? Was it just cuz he was there? Cuz he filmed? I mean I hated his dumb ass but still, reasons? Explanations? So they have to burn the ouija board to close the stargate,(makes sense) and the ghosts try to stop them. So in the struggle Mike our mainish character dies…off screen, and becomes a floating ghost camera. The end. 

 So in the end is there a single thing redeemable about this abomination of all that is good in horror? Yeah, there is.(I threw up in my mouth just typing that) But nah son, there is something well done, some of the scares are well done! Seriously! They did the lighting right, the scares were subtle and eye catching, and most of them weren’t jump scares or cg. I actually flinched a couple times! The problem is without characters to be invested in, or a story that draws you in the actual horror element is lost. I can’t suggest it unless you’re a seeker of shit. But if you do, I made a drinking game to help get you through!