#but i wanna keep looking at my dash

[pikachu-deluxe]

been awake for like 19 hours already damn

[kiose]

Another entry for the Football League AU (and another chance to draw Spitfire in a soccer uniform... Yay!) I love this thing where teams give young, talented players a weird nickname to keep them humble (or at least I assume it IS to keep them humble)

Poor Dash, it just happened to be the worse nickname you could give her...

[mistletouchunderthetree]

there’s something i’ve talked about here before at length but it’s been a long time so just to catch up any newer followers to speed:

(if you know about sara, you can skip to the bolded small paragraph and go from there) (if you don’t know who sara is but want to be in on the post without reading the essay i wrote, there’s a tl;dr at the bottom!)

in college i moved away from home and moved in with my brother, who lived about 45 minutes from my university. my parents knew my anxiety over making friends so they gave me an ultimatum: either you join a club and BE ACTIVE IN IT, or you come back home. so. i joined a sorority.

BEFORE YOU SHIT A BRICK, my school had a very small greek presence. if you rush, you get into one no matter what (not sending girls home crying bc none of the 10 houses on campus wanted them).

i met sara during rush week, first day. zeta was my last house of the day and i was feeling discouraged - no where had felt like somewhere i’d fit in. and then this girl with this bright and colorful tattoo of a cactus on her arm brought me into the house and we talked about mexican food and harry potter (year 2015 ok) and anime. i talked to a few other girls in that house, more of the same. connections. shared interests. god i wanted them to pick me.

fast forward a week and there i was, a new member of zeta “dating” girls from the pledge class above mine to find my big sister, who is your mentor and your best friend and your confidant and your guide all rolled into one.

i’m too tired to go through it all but basically i requested a date with sara bc we weren’t set up for one and we met at a coffee house and talked for hours. best date by far.

and then big/little reveal…. this is us the moment i found out she was my big sister (it’s her face you can see, and the back of my head):

god that picture makes me want to burst. so we got five wonderful months attached at the hip. i can’t talk about it too much because all these years later it still hurts so much. but i called her my “denton best friend” since i already technically had a “best friend” at home. we signed a lease to live together the next school year on december 29th.

on new year’s eve a stranger in his car with his friends pulled up beside sara’s car. she was designated driver and had 3 passengers. i was supposed to be there but i canceled at the last minute and felt awful about it. in the time it takes for a light to turn green, a boy in sara’s backseat and the guys in the other car had a verbal altercation that ended with the driver of the other car shooting twice at the boy in sara’s backseat. unfortunately this happened as sara was driving away.

the first bullet hit the back door and ricocheted down. the second went directly in front of the boy in the backseat and hit sara in the back of the head. she was brain dead instantly, but a donor so they kept her alive.

i remember holding her hand at the hospital. it was swollen and i kept thinking if i didn’t recognize her black chipped nail polish i wouldn’t even know it was her. the bullet exited her left eye so the top half of her head was entirely wrapped up. there were little specks of blood on the bed.

i gave a eulogy at her funeral, and became close with her parents. i was one of their links to denton - they lived about 3-4 hours away in san marcos - and i made and put up a cross with her picture on it at the place her car crashed, against a telephone poll. you could still see blood on the ground.

something that’s harder to explain about greek “families” is that your big sister is more like your mom. so your big sister’s big sister is your grandbig. my grandbig happened to have another little sister, making sara a twin. her twin, claire was my aunt, and her little, another girl in my pledge class, was my cousin. we’re the ones that had signed the lease to live with each other two days before sara was murdered.

that next summer sara’s parents invited her “zeta family” to visit, so we did. being in her childhood home was like walking into a time capsule. but we all got along with her parents very well (her mom greeted us with very expensive tequila shots) and afterward that relationship continued and thrived. it’s helpful for them to have that link to sara, and honestly, it feels helpful to me, too. when they’re in town we get breakfast at sara’s favorite place (and the last place i ever went with her), and i text her mom pretty regularly to keep her updated about my health.

if you already know about sara and my relationship with her parents you can start reading now!

the reason this is relevant is bc clay, sara’s father, and i butt heads on politics on facebook, big time. we’ve never been outright mean to each other, but he’s said some things that have made me take a step back and not reply because i know id say something i couldn’t take back, and this is too important a relationship to risk. i get so nervous posting but im also someone who’s not ever going to be quiet about what i think and what i believe in so i posted something today, and when i saw he commented my stomach dropped because i outright said if you voted for him do not talk to me. this is what i got:

i was shocked. usually it’s a paragraph disputing my every point. does the green heart mean something i don’t know or is it just because it’s my favorite color? i want to take this in good faith but it is so out of character (not him expressing his love, because he always does that at the end of political “discussions” too) for him not to say anything, especially after what i said.

am i reading too much into this? is sara looking down on me saying “im so sorry trump won, ill guide my dad not to be a dick about it”???? (sounds like something she’d do). i didn’t know what to say so i just did the heart react. any way if you made it through this fuckin essay, i love you, that’s amazing, and if you give your opinion my love for you only grows. 🩷🩷🩷

TL;DR one of my best friends was murdered in college. i became close with her parents as a way for all of us to feel closer to her. her dad,clay, and i butt heads about politics on facebook pretty much any time i post anything political. this is what he commented today, and im confused by it. hopeful, but confused.

[3amclothesmonster]

I've talked about fnaf too much a William Afton smut fic appeared on my recommended last night I'm crying

[truly-quirkless-a]

What Tarot Card are You?

The Lovers.

the bounty of your heart is abundant. warmth extends from your fingertips, and your smile has the power to light the darkest of rooms. your presence is a comfort– a gift– it is something to be cherished. just beware of stretching yourself too thin; a heart cannot be full if it is constantly emptying itself for the benefit of others. extend that mercy to your own heart, so you may continue to love and let yourself be loved. your chest is not an empty cavity. NUMBER: 6 UPRIGHT: love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices REVERSED: self-love, disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values

Tagged by: Stolen from @/nuravity. Tagging: @eraseur, @the-wild-card-hand (for Sero or Kaminari, have fun!), @emerald-might, @modeinthemiddle , and if you want to do this- mate, steal it, embrace the goblin-

[a9saga]

do you guys know that your likes are appearing on people's dashboards now? not in large numbers or anything. i've been seeing smutty fanfictions on my dash and i mean i'm not judging you, but i do wanna give fair warning that it may just appear on there for other people.

[rotisseries]

this year, I kept a reading log spreadsheet of all of the fanfiction I read. so, assuming I don't read anything else in these last few hours of 2022, these are my final stats. here is my ao3 wrapped!

i read 496 fics this year. these are surely rookie numbers 😃 (this picture isn't even the entire spreadsheet)

my total words read in fanfiction this year is 6,227,818. 6. million. and 22 thousand. words. 24 of these fics, or about 5% of the fics read, were of a length equivalent to that of a standard fiction novel, which is a length of 40,000 words at the lowest average count. I feel like it's necessary to state here that, whenever I read incomplete fics, I put their current word count, but when the fics updated, I did NOT update the listings, so this number is an estimate

my no.1 fandom this year was stranger things! at 74% and 441 fics read, a surprise to no one. the runners up are the legend of zelda, in no.2, with 24 fics and 11% of my reading, and avatar the last airbender, in no.3, with 18 fics and 8% of the stuff I read!

my no.1 pairing this year was byler, with 57% at a count of 289 fics read! again, a surprise to no one! runners up are, no.2, ronance, with 67 fics and about 14% of the fics I read, and no.3, steddie, with 58 fics and 12% of the stuff I read

my highest month for fanfiction reading was july! of the 496 fics I read this year, 162 of them were read in july, which is about 33%.

468 of the fics I read this year were completed when I read them, which is about 94%.

the author I read the most from was @andiwriteordie, with 34 fics, which is about 7% of the fics read. tbf though, this is because she's insane and wrote a LOT of stuff this year.

409 of the fics I read this year, or 82%, were oneshots.

and those are my ao3 reading habits for this year! I'm thinking that maybe I'll track some tags and other stuff for 2023

[hotboiessek]

new desktop update makes it so i cannot even go to MY OWN post from a reblog

[r0semultiverse]

Is there free audio listen-alongs out there for these skeleton gays that y’all post about? 💀

[verdant-avidya]

"Now what kind of crimes are we getting up to tonight."

[cashewally-sarcastic]

to the professors who are making all their textbooks digital access books that students can't keep, sell, or try to find used for cheaper, I hope you die very painfully

[gengarpng]

begging whatever deity is out there to stop making me and my family have to fix or replace shit for one gd week.

[1roentgen]

.

[spocksbedsidemanner]

.

[hellishvxbes]

why is it every time I step on this blog there's always some anon related drama going on?? Ya'll gotta know anon hate REALLY is not that frequent. shit is getting old, and to see it every time?? about to take out my mom voice and say ya'll all need to just turn anon off cuz ya'll can't play nice or just ignore shit for the love of christ.

[stxtic-scribbles]

ARES WRIGHT.

AGE: 14.

VOICE CLAIM: donatello (rottmnt, josh brenner)

FACE CLAIM: drawings of him. lord dominator (wander over yonder).

PRONOUNS: he/him.

CREATED FOR: penn zero: part time hero.

VERSES: main. spiderverse; e-42008.

DESCRIPTION: ares is THE LIGHTNING LIZARD. originally a creature from another dimension, he was brought to Middleburg by his current caretaker. part-time villain. lightning powers, glowy-ness, chameleon tail, sharp teeth & ears.

occasionally plays as THE KOMODO, a street-roaming vigilante.

TAG SOURCE(S): his PLAYLIST.