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thecapricunt1616 · 9 months ago

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The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 15

♡ Chapter Inspo: The Archer; Lover (TS) - 'I wake in the night I pace like a ghost the room is on fire invisible smoke and all of my heroes die all alone, help me hold onto you'

♡ Summary: Carmy helps Winnie out of a nightmare, Winnie makes dinner for them, they read together and have some fun time on the roof to end Carmy's day off.

♡ W/C: 7,764

♡ Posted Date: 03/24/2024

♡ A/N: Helloooo! As promised, Here is the twin for C14! The second half of their night in together :) I hope you enjoy!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, Domestic violence, Nightmares, Smut, panic attacks/talks of anxiety

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

His hand wraps tightly around my throat, gripping me so tightly that I’d have a handprint bruised into my flesh come morning. I tried everything I could to scream, my lungs and throat were burning as if I was, but absolutely no sound was coming out.

Suddenly, I was back on the couch, Carmen knelt in front of me, gently shaking my leg, looking terrified and Ms.Mendoza my neighbor softly rubbing my arm as she sat by my side on the couch.

“It’s only a bad dream nak” she said soothingly. I looked between them both with tear filled eyes.

“I’m- I’m so sorry” I shook my head, sitting up, the embarrassment washing over me when I realized I was just having a nightmare.

“No, shh, it’s ok, it’s ok sunshine” Ms.Mendoza hugs me, rubbing my hair gently. “It’s why you gave me a key” she said and I nodded, sniffling a bit.

She’d heard me having night terrors when I first moved in, she always made sure to do everything she could to wake me from them. I’d given her a key to my apartment in case of emergencies and things like this, I must have been screaming again.

“Thank you, thank you” I whisper. Carm sits on my other side, rubbing my back gently.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here” he said softly and I turn to look at him.

“Carmy- no. No. Don’t blame yourself this- these happen a lot. It’s just…it’s my ex and everything- Ms.Mendoza please go home, go relax yeah? Wheel of Fortune will be on soon” I told her, squeezing her arm gently.

She nodded and picked her key up off the table, standing carefully from the couch and grabbing her cane.

“Get a good nights rest” she cupped my cheek and Carm, being the absolute angel he is, helped her back to her apartment to be sure she got in safely, before coming back, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

I waited in the entry hall for him, and as soon as he shut the door I nearly fell in to his arms, holding him tight. “I’m so grateful you aren’t like him” I whispered into his shirt.

He holds me tight, kissing the top of my head. “I’m glad you aren’t like her.” He mumbled into my hair, stroking my back gently.

“I didn’t mean to scare you” I sniffled, closing my eyes and sighing softly.

“Y’didnt, I was scared for you, not of you” he said, the timer for the food going off suddenly and I flinched.

“ s’okay ” he said soothingly. I bit back the lump in my throat, taking deep even breaths and counting to 13.

“Sorry” I mumble and he gently wiped my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Don’t be” he cupped my cheek gently and nudged my chin to look up at him. “Got y’somethin, wanna see?” He gives a small shy smile.

I raise my eyebrows, a tiny smile on my lips. “Whatd’ya do Bear” I asked softly.

“Go look on the table” he nods towards the dining area that I hadn’t even paid mind to in the moment.

I turned around, gasping lightly and looking up at him as if he’d gotten me the moon on a string, a large smile adorning my face. “Oh- oh. Hm. I thought” I put a hand on my hip. “You sir” I poke his chest playfully, earning a chuckle out of him.

“Were not the - how did you put it? mmm?” I hum, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck.

“‘Mmm I forget” he teased “I just know that my honey had a hard day, and I like to make her feel good” he leaned in, kissing me sweetly and reaching down, grabbing my bum and squeezing.

I hum gently, leaning my hips in to his and pressing our chests flush, feeling how wet his hoodie was and pulling away. “Baby” I said softly, pushing down his hood and gently brushing through his hair.

He quickly takes the opportunity to kiss my neck in hot, open mouth kisses. “Hm” he hummed, his thumbs trailing up and hooking in my panties.

“You’re all wet, and cold, you’ll get sick, cmon” I said, giggling as he bites the fleshy spot between my neck and my shoulder and grumbling playfully like an animal.

“And seemingly a very hungry Bear” I said, causing him to laugh into my skin, all of my previous panic and fear melting away like snow on a spring morning.

“I am cold, but Y’re warmin’ me up” he muttered in to my neck, nuzzling his cold nose into my skin.

I kissed his jaw gently, leaving a trail of kisses next to his ear. “You can wear my comfy, you’ll look adorable” I offered, trailing my hands under his hoodie and squeezing his hips.

“The fuck is a comfy” he rests his chin on my shoulder, looking at me from the side.

I giggled at the awkward angle. “A blankey hoodie. You’re shivering, bear. I feel it. Cmon” I laced our Fingers together, kissing his icy feeling digits.

He sighed softly “fine.” He muttered as I drag him to my bedroom, tugging at his his hoodie to which he obliged by raising his arms and I pulled it off him in one swift motion.

I kissed each of his moles from his jaw to his neck, lingering on the last near his collarbone. “Don’t need a sick bear” I mused, gently running my palms up his abs.

“Y’have a drawer y’know?” I mused, opening the second to bottom drawer of my dresser swiftly, tugging out my baby pink blanket hoodie, handing it to him

“A drawer mm?” he hummed and he takes the offer of my outstretched hand to pull me into a heated kiss, running his tongue over my bottom lip like a man starved.

I giggle into his lips, opening my mouth for him and humming as I feel his tongue swipe across mine slowly, relishing in the taste of me. I sucked on his tongue gently and he moaned into my mouth, squeezing my ass and spanking me gently causing the smile on my lips to grow.

“Foods gonna burn” I said softly when I disconnected our lips, he pulls me into another kiss running his hands up my hips, squeezing roughly.

I let a squeak of discomfort out, gently disconnecting our lips. “Gentle, Bear, please” I whispered, nuzzling our noses together gently. “My hip…it’s sore, like all the time…but especially when it rains” I said softly.

He quickly eased his grip, rubbing soothingly over the ache and kissing my chin. “ ‘M’sorry baby.” He muttered, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck.

“Shh..s’okay. I-“ I swallowed thickly, “it’s me. It’s my fault” I kissed his jaw gently and I felt him sigh softly beneath my touch.

“It’s not a fault..never say that, honey” he gently runs his digits up the small of my back and drags his nails across my skin, causing me to shiver slightly beneath his touch.

“Put this on” I said softly, pushing the blanketed hoodie into his chest, pulling away. “I’m gonna go plate up dinner, mm?” I pecked his lips sweetly, holding his hand until I got to the door and gently let it go.

“Yeah..thank you- f’r..f’r cookin’ for us” he said, unfolding it and slipping it over his head.

He looked adorable just like I knew he would. The hoodie was meant to be massively oversized, so it swallowed him the same way it did me. He pushes the oversized hood down, his sandy blonde curls ruffled by the action.

“See this. I get not wearin’ pants. But y’re always wearin’ my shirts and no pants, babe. I dunno how you don’t freeze” he teased, wrapping his arms around me, gently kissing my neck.

“Mmm…What got int’you Bear” I mutter, gently weaving his curls between my fingers and he stopped for a moment as I scratch his scalp, fingers gently tracing lazy circles into my flesh.

“Why- thought y’love bein’ touched, Angel” he reached his hand underneath my heat, gently rubbing my clit between his middle and ring fingers, causing a gasp to escape my lips in lew of an answer.

I felt my knees weaken, a soft whimper leaving my lips as I leaned back into his chest, my cheek mushed into his shoulder in bliss. “Mmm? Y’don’t like it when I touch you pretty girl?” He purred in my ear, slowly circling his fingers in the way that made me whine.

My knees shook with pleasure, he must have realized because his other arm was suddenly securely locked around my waist, leaving soft supple kisses over my collarbone. “Yes-yes…b-but dinner Carmy” I whimpered, “it’s gonna burn baby, but can we- let’s keep this going after we eat, yeah?” I said softly.

He gently nips my skin, easing the ache with his tongue quickly before leaving a languid kiss over the spot. “Fine. Go get our dinner chef” he teased and I giggled a bit, kissing his nose gently before heading off into the kitchen.

He follows behind me, leaning on the counter as I bent over with the oven mits taking the dish out of the oven. “Mm. I should have you cook more often. But only if I get to watch” he mused as I set the bubbling dish on the stovetop, nudging the oven door closed with my hip.

“Why’s that? You haven’t even tried it yet” I asked, grabbing 2 plates out of the cupboard and I felt his arms around my waist, rubbing over the exposed patch of my stomach that showed when I lifted my arms to grab the dishes.

“Cause you look really good bent over an oven” he said lowly, kissing the back of my neck gently.

I giggled “what has gotten into you baby” I hum, spooning 2 tomatoes onto each plate.

“Nothin’ I just love being here with you” he said simply, playing with the elastic of my panties between his fingers.

“I think you secretly love being cared for” I said, causing him to chuckle into my skin lightly.

“Is that it?” He kisses the spot below my ear sweetly.

“Oh” I giggled, looking at him so he could see my glasses had become all fogged. He snorts a laugh, taking them off me.

“There you are. I can imagine with these cooking can be very inconvenient” said and I nodded a bit.

“Yup. But it's better then my eyes being so dry that my contact falls out into a pot of boiling water. That wasn’t fun” I laughed, turning to him and offering him his plate. “F’the best Bearfriend” I teased with a giggle.

He chuckled, taking the plate “bearfriend huh?” I opened the drawer handing him a fork and knife.

“Mmhmm! Cause you say you don’t do well at being a boyfriend, and you’re good at being a sassy bear. So, Bearfriend.” I smiled and he leaned in, kissing my lips sweetly.

“Y’cute, thank you f’dinner angel, really” he said before hissing me again. I hum happily, gently cupping his cheek.

“Of course” I said softly when I pulled away. “You should let me make stuff for you more often, it’s not fair you’re always the one cookin’” I grab my plate and sit with him at the table.

“Oh it’s not fair I do my job. It’s ok baby like I said, I love cookin’ f’you. You know you don’t have to pick stuff off the menu right? I can make you anything. It’s easy cause we have the big kitchen at work” he said and I put my glasses back on so I could see much more clearly.

“But still. I know your back hurts you. You need to be resting more” I said, cutting up my tomatoes to let them cool a little but he goes right for it. Cutting a piece and eating it even though steam was still pouring off of his plate.

“It does- but wow babe. Great job. I haven’t had this in a while. Y’don’t give y’rself enough credit, you know your way around the kitchen.” He said, causing me to blush.

“Oh stop it. You’ve eaten the best food in the world, my stuff can’t compare to that” I said, blowing on my fork before taking a bite. “But Grams recipe is really good” I agree with a proud smile.

“Mm no one’s does, baby. Those assholes…” he shook his head lightly. “It’s not even worth it. The way it tastes for the bullshit it goes into it” he said, taking another bite. “I’d eat this over that. Anytime” he said and I held his hand, gently lacing our fingers and pressing it to my lips.

“I’m glad you aren’t there anymore. They don’t deserve someone as sweet as you” I said, blush creeping into his cheeks.

“Thats why I can’t be there” he drops my hand, looking down at his plate.

I pouted a bit “how do you mean baby?” I asked softly, putting my fork down.

“I- I’m too fuckin….” He sighs deeply, tapping his leg under the table. “I-I take shit too hard like. I dunno. I’m a fuckin-“ he shook his head lightly, swallowing thickly. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, Winnie.” He muttered.

“Carmy…you said it yourself. Those guys are fucking assholes. They- they hurt you. You aren’t that way, I know you don’t want to hurt people. So the fact that you care about yourself, you care about the way you’re spoken to? That sets you apart from them, baby.” I gently rub his arm. “Don’t let their stupid bullshit ruin our super awesome dinner, yeah? You’re a way better chef than them anyways.” I added, gently taking his hand again and he squeezed it.

“Thank you, baby.” His eyes met mine again and he leaned in, kissing me softly and gently cupping my chin.

When we finished dinner, he insisted on doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. ‘The cook never cleans’ he insisted, which made me giggle considering I’d found him before after closing, on his hands and knees scrubbing the grout of the kitchen with a tiny brush.

I still managed to convince him to allow me to sit on the counter, drying the dishes as he washed them. “So in school, what was your favorite class? Was it home ec? That’s what they called cooking class in my school.” I asked as I dried off one of our plates.

“Yeah, I only got it in high school though. But it was more like…the only class I was advanced in I guess? Cause they only really showed us how to do really simple shit. And alotta the other kids struggled, but I grew up in a restaurant so.” He shrugged, “liked it cause it was the only class I didn’t look like an idiot” he hands me the bowl he’d rinsed and I poke his ribs with my foot.

“Carmy. You’re like the smartest man I know. No one was that smart in high school. Also- math and science are totally hard. I was only good at English and history, and in home ec I burned pasta.” I giggled, taking the bowl and he rolls his eyes playfully.

“Yeah sure. But I see all y’r books n’ stuff. Y’re actually smart. I just. I’m smart in the kitchen, not really anywhere else. But it’s ok, cause all I need for my job is the talent I already have” he shrugged a bit, working on the dish I’d cooked the tomatoes in.

“Well you could read, y’know? I’m not smart because I read. I’m smart- well you think I’m smart - even though I don’t think I am, because I choose to read. You can read baby, very well. Cooking is a lot of reading, And you’re better at math then you think you are. Converting recipes can go really wrong and Syd says you can literally do it in your head. I know you don’t have a lot of time but why don’t we read?” I ruffle his hair playfully.

“I honestly…can’t remember the last time I actually sat and like…read. Without being forced? But uh…sure. You have any recommendations?” He asked and my face lit up.

“Really? Really? You’ll read? With me? Like- today? Together?” I asked excitedly and he looks over at me, brow raised in confusion.

“Yes? Of course baby, If it’ll make you happy then I’d love to-“ I cut him off with a deep kiss, pulling him close and curling my fingers in his hair happily, smiling into the kiss.

“Thank you, thank you. None of my friends read and I’ve been dying to just sit and read with someone” I rest my forehead on his, kissing the balls of his cheeks with short butterfly kisses.

He chuckled a bit “baby of course. I’m sorry angel we could’ve done this sooner- I didn’t know you like it that much” he said, shutting off the water since he was finished with the dishes. I wrapped my legs around him like a koala, kissing his forehead sweetly.

“It’s my favorite thing, next to you, of course. In this world currently, my favorite pass times are spending time with you and then, reading” I smiled, kissing his brow bone and he hummed, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck and kissing the skin gently.

“Wow so you get two of your favorite things t’day? What a lucky girl” he eased me forward, gently lifting me off the counter. “Where to baby?” He pecked my chin.

“The luckiest girl- To the library!” I giggled, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck and he padded over to the door, nudging it open with his hip.

“Alright. Here we are” he set me down gently and I went over to one of the shelves, gently brushing my finger over the titles as I looked over them.

“So what are you feeling baby? Somethin scary, fantasy, I have a lot of self help books, oo!” I pluck one of my favorites off the shelf. “The Body Keeps Score - this is a great one baby. I learned so much about my panic attacks and stuff from this. But I get it if you don’t wanna think about that today” I offered it to him and he took it from my hands, thumbing through the pages adorned with tabs where I’d annotated things that stuck out to me.

“What are the little flags?” He questioned, opening to one of the pages with a few of them.

“They coordinate to highlighter colors. So this one I have pink blue and green, pink means something that I like- really resonated with and it made pieces click for me. Blue is science stuff where the author explains why you feel the way you feel, and then green is stuff that I genuinely don’t understand and want to go back and research more myself. You can just ignore them I’ve read this book a lot so it’s really marked up.” I said and he nodded, looking over the back.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll do this one” he nodded.

“Perfect! Oh I’m so excited for you to read it Carmy. I really think it’ll help you, okay sooo” I tap my chin as I turned back to the shelf. “Mmm” I hum as I took out one of my books that I was still stuck in the middle of. “You’ll inspire me to keep going. I’m getting bored in this one but the beginning was really good, I’ll do this one” I said and went over to the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor in the nook of the room next to the window.

“Why are you still reading it if it sucks now?” He questioned, sitting down and leaning up against the wall. I laid down on his chest, looking up at him.

“Cause like I said- the beginning was fire. I’m just bored now because they’re doing world building. But it’s necessary for the story.” I said, opening to the page I’d left on and setting my hot pink ‘Bad Bitches are Bookworms’ bookmark on his thigh.

He huffs a laugh, my head moving at the action and I look up at him “yes?” I giggle a bit. He shook his head with a grin.

“bad bitches are bookworms- perfect bookmark for you” he pecks my lips before sitting back and opening the book to the first page.

“Yes! And you’re part of the bad bitch club now, welcome to your initiation” I joked, tucking my knees up and resting the book on my thighs as I read.

“Sorry- did you…” he started after a few moments. “Sorry- sorry..I’ll shut up sorry for interrupting” he blushed and I smiled a bit, poking his cheek.

“Ask me baby, thats the point of reading together- especially books like that, It’s easier to process with someone you trust” I said and rested rub his leg gently.

“It says- like” he cleared his throat nervously. “Did- did you- like…do you have any alcoholics in your family?” he asked and I nodded.

“My uncles, My grandpa, My Aunt Sue, she actually died from liver failure My mom was on the downward slope when I left. I don’t keep big bottles around cause I’m already genetically at risk and don’t trust myself. Why, you know an alcoholic?” I asked, resting the book on my tummy so I wouldn't lose my spot and lacing my fingers together.

“Yea- uh…Yeah..” he said, his eyes flicking back to the book, continuing to read without saying anything else.

“It’s true, what they say- one in four” I said, continuing to read my own book.

It was about 15 pages of my own book before he spoke again, “Babe-” he snorts a laugh and I look up at him “This is making me feel like more of a pussy- this whole first chapter is about guys who went to fuckin war and shit - so why am I relating to how they feel? I keep askin’ myself, what the fuck would I have done if I had to go do shit like that when I can barely handle the training I went through to be a chef?” he asks bluntly and I sit up on my elbow, looking at him.

“I relate to them, too. Their nightmares, how they feel they failed their plattoon because they survived - the part about the guy saying he refused to take pills that would eliminate his nightmares that had been plaguing him- because even though it was torture- it was the only time he got to see his brothers. His best friends. Thats how I feel about Chris. If- if…if its just- the accident, in my nightmares, or never seeing him? Ever again? I will never let him go. It’s- it’s like he said…like a gravesite almost. You’re keeping them alive even if it’s at the cost of your sanity in a way. Am I a pussy, Carmen?” I asked.

He shook his head, gently cupping my cheek and rubbing his thumb over my cheekbone. “No. No, honey. I-I get it…I get that.” he nods, “I-I dunno…I just felt bad..’cause I…” he looked down at the page he’d been reading. “This guy…he said he wants t’love his family, and he-he can’t and that’s how I felt when I came home” he said quietly, his hand dropping to his lap and nervously playing with the sleeve of the sweatshirt.

“Because- y’re probably afraid to lose them.” I held his wrist, gently squeezing. “Y’lost Mikey, and sometimes our brain tells us if we freeze everyone out and let ourselves be numb, that if there's a next time- it won't hurt so bad. Y’re protecting yourself, Carmy.” I rub his wrist soothingly.

He nods a bit, looking down at me. “I really don’t wanna lose you, Win” he said quietly, putting his book down and pulling me into his lap. I settled my knees next to his hips, sitting down comfortably on his thighs and wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him close.

“ ‘Mnot goin’ anywhere, never ” I kiss his jaw gently and nuzzled my face in his neck. He let out a small satisfied sigh, wrapping his arms around my back and rubing slow languid strokes up and down my spine.

“I promise I’ll try to not fuck up, I really love this Win” he mumbled into my skin, leaving sweet lingering kisses on my collarbone.

“Baby, we’re both gonna fuck up. But you’ve already proven that y’re willing to push yourself to be together, that’s enough for me to not just give up and leave” I look at him, gently pushing his curls out of his eyes and combing my fingers through his hair.

His eyes fluttered shut, gently kissing my forearm when it brushed his face as I raked my nails over his scalp. “It’s…easy with you” he said softly, pushing his hands under his shirt I was wearing and ever so gently rubbing his hands over my hips.

“Whats easy baby” I asked, pressing little kisses all over his face

“Talkin’ t’you..I know thats weird- sorry” he blushed a bit and I smiled at his shyness, placing a sweet kiss to his lips.

“No, it just means were good Carmy, it’s easy to talk to you too.” I cupped his cheeks gently, kissing his browbone lightly.

“Is it-” his eyes flutter open, looking at me “Is it like…weird that I’m like…” he blushed, smiling shyly. “Kinda..turned on right now” he asked quietly and I giggled, rolling my eyes playfully.

“No, it’s so sweet baby- you like being close, theres nothing wrong with that.” I gently play with a curl at the base of his neck. “I can always go for some playtime with you especially, you ever hooked up on a roof before?” I kissed his neck with hot open mouth kisses, gently taking the skin between my teeth.

“Fuck babe- no, I-I haven’t won’t people see?” he questioned and I sat up, looking out the window.

“No- well, we like to fool around a lot so the sun will probably be down before you fuck me” I said, connecting my lips to his neck once again and running my hands up the front of the hoodie, relishing in the feeling of his muscled skin beneath my touch.

“W-what if someone comes up?” he stutters as my hand finds its way into the waistband of his sweatpants, lightly rubbing over his hardening length.

“No one goes up there, baby. It’s for maintenance the only thing up there is the water pumps and the AC shit. C’mon- wont it be fun and romantic to fuck with the sun setting behind us?” I kissed his jaw gently, rubbing my thumb over his tip clothed by his boxers, earning a hot whine from him.

“Fuck, fuck- fine, c’mon” he squeezed my ass telling me to get up and I giggled happily, Getting up and going over to my room quickly putting on sweatpants and a hoodie, Carmy comes to the room as well, slipping the pink blanket hoodie over his head and tossing it to the bed.

“What? Y’dont think its cute?” I teased and he chuckled, grabbing his plaid brown jacket and buttoning it so you couldnt tell he didn’t have a shirt on underneath.

“I’m takin’ my shirt back once I get it off you” he said, slipping his sneakers on and I put on my moccasin shoes grabbing my keys from my purse.

“And guess what, I’ll rob you back tonight when you take it off for bed” I kissed his lips on my way out of the bedroom, grabbing his hand and pulling him with me to the front door.

“It’s a win win f’me I love you wearin’ my stuff baby, it’s just when y’leave me naked, thats when it’s a problem” he teased, holding me from behind as I locked the door.

“A problem for who? I mean..you I guess if it’s cold, but every girl in this building should be thanking me - the chance of seeing you shirtless is like- a golden opportunity of eye candy” I mused, lacing our fingers together as I led him to the stairs at the end of the hall, bouncing up the 6 steps that led to the roof and pushing the door open.

He chuckled, following me up the steps. “Wow” he said softly when he saw the view of the sunset.

“Feel free to smoke, I need to” I said, pulling my little preroll tin out of my pocket and sitting down on the stone ledge of the roof, dangling my other leg off the side of the building like I usually did when I was up here.

“Woah- ok, don’t like that, honey. A strong breeze could come and knock you off” he said seriously, sitting behind me and securely wrapping his arm around my waist, causing me to laugh.

“Oh my god Carm, Sure- i’m not 5 foot but im surely over 100 pounds, i’m fine I do this all the time” I said, leaning into his chest nonetheless and resting my head on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arm around my waist after he got his cigarette lit, gently rubbing over my ribs with his palm.”Mmm’ still not feelin’ good ‘bout it. I’ll stay here, thanks” he mused, taking a drag and blowing it away from us.

“It’s nice up here, quiet” he said after a few beats of silence, squeezing my side gently.

I nodded a bit against his shoulder, taking a drag of my preroll. “Favorite part about spring is the sun sets at 8, so I come up here after dinner and will read until its too dark. It’s what sold me on this place, even though I can hardly afford it. Fuckin’ therapy and shit“ I muttered, ashing my joint over the ledge before taking another drag.

“Why? Y’boss not payin’ y’enough baby?” he questioned, rubbing over my hip gently.

“No- no…he probably pays me too much if i’m honest..the uh- the therapy? It’s like… its a special kind of therapy, but insurance doesn’t cover it, so I dump alot- most of my money into it…But its the only thing that keeps me like…sane- so. I just deal with it.” I shrugged a bit, taking another long drag.

“Well…y’can always live w’me” he kissed my neck gently and I giggled, poking his cheek.

“Carmy. You’ve known me all but a month.” I smiled, resting my hand over his that had made home on my stomach.

“Mmhmm? And?” He questions, causing me to giggle. “You can be my little decorator. I could use some help, my house is like…empty other then necessities” he chuckled into my skin and I look back at him.

“Don’t tell me you’re living like a frat boy” I teased, taking a drag. “Is that why I haven’t been over your house? Please tell me you at least have pillowcases baby” I said and he blushed, looking away.

“Ok- I do. But. They’re dirty and I took them off and haven’t washed them cause I don’t sleep in my bed” he smiled sheepishly and I laughed.

“No wonder you sleep like a brick whenever you’re over here. We need to go shopping baby, you can’t depend on me for a good night sleep. What’s gonna happen when I go to The Hamptons this summer for my Nanny Job?” I questioned and he froze, looking down at me seriously.

“Where? Wait- what?” He sits up a bit and I turned around, facing him.

“I didn’t tell you? Yeah I- I take a break off of therapy for 8 weeks during the summer to go nanny for this family. I’ve been doin’ it since like- I was 16? 17? Somethin like that. It’s like- the most money I make all year.” I said, ashing my joint.

“When do you leave?” He questioned, grabbing my other hand and lacing our fingers together.

“May 20th, I come back July 15 because they do this summer camp thing until August before school. I’m sorry baby…I’ve been doin’ it for so long I guess I forgot to mention it.” I said, rubbing the back of his hand gently.

“Y’really leavin baby? F’r…8 whole weeks? That’s- that’s too long.” He pouted a bit, squeezing my hand.

“Mmhmm. 8 whole weeks. I think it’ll be good, missin’ eachother isn’t all bad. Just think of how good the sex will be when I come home. And now nice it’ll feel to cuddle again.” I kiss his lips gently.

“Well now I’m gonna be sad” he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my jaw. “How can I enjoy this time with you I feel like there’s a fuckin…a fuckin’ timer over my head now. What if you…” he sighs softly. “What if you meet someone there?” He mutters and I smiled a bit, putting out the butt of my joint on the stone and getting up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him into my chest.

“Baby I’m gonna be counting the days to come back to my best bearfriend ever. I’m not gonna have eyes for anyone else, promise” I said and he flicked the rest of his cigarette off the roof, wrapping his strong biceps around my thighs and lifting me up causing me to giggle.

“How am I gonna manage t’remember to take a break without you honey” he wraps my legs around his hips, resting me against the brick wall and kissing my jaw, nipping gently.

I hum happily, resting my head back and eyes fluttering shut. “Well for starts, don’t think y’getting rid of me, I’ll be calling and we’ll be talking same time we hang out.” I gently scratch his scalp with my nails earning a satisfied soft moan from him.

“I was hoping so, and what am I gonna do not being able to play with these f’what. 2 months?” he pushes my hoodie up, exposing my breasts to the chilly evening air, causing my nipples to perk up.

“You have an imagination Carm- oh god” I breathe out, my eyes fluttering shut as he flicks his tongue over my nipple, gently kissing over the sensitive bud, playing with my jewelry with his tongue before taking it in between his teeth and tugging gently.

I whine out, my back arching into his touch “mmm- fuck Carmy that feels so fucking good” I whine as he pulls at my nipple with his teeth, pulling away with a pop an looking up at me hotly as he flicks his tongue over the bud, every touch going straight to my core.

“God - fuck- you’re so fucking sexy” I said as he sucks more of my breast in his mouth, massaging the other with his hand angling his hips to keep me sat on the wall. “Fuck- need you Bear. The- the fuckin” I point fervently. “Shit. The ac boxes. Fuck me please” I begged, tugging his hair gently.

He gently lifted me further on his hips, walking over to them and laying me on top, pulling me to the edge and tugging my sweatpants down, “sit up” he orders and put the sweatpants under my head as a makeshift pillow when I obliged.

I laid back comfortably “y’sure baby?” He asked and I nodded.

“Always, c’mere” I rested on my elbows and connected our lips once again, opening my mouth for him and moaning a bit when I felt him drag his fingers over my now soaked panties.

“Shit baby” he muttered, holding his fingers up to where I could see they were glistening with my arousal. I took his hand, slipping his fingers in my mouth and looking up at him to gauge his reaction. I swirled my tongue around the digits, moaning softly at the taste.

“Holy fuck” he said softly, pushing his fingers further down my throat, he hummed in satisfaction when I swallowed around them, my eyes fluttering shut in bliss. “Good fuckin girl” he grumbled, pulling his fingers out and pushing my panties to the side, rubbing my clit in quick circles.

My head dropped back, foot coming up to balance on the edge to spread my legs wider. He took my foot, resting it on my shoulder and kissing my ankle as he slipped one finger in. I whine in pleasure as he curled, in search of that special spot.

“Yes- yes fuck- I’m good I’m so good- say it again Carmy” I moaned out, one hand travelling down and rubbing my clit as he added another finger, pumping his wrist faster, wet lewd squelching noises getting louder as I got wetter and wetter.

“My good girl. Y’re my good girl, angel” he said hotly in my ear, humming proudly when I writhe and squirm beneath him as he curls his fingers against my gspot, my legs beginning to shake and core tightening. “Thaaaats it honey good fuckin’ girl. Cum on my fingers princess” he mumbles into my neck, holding me up against him with his other forearm, our chests flush together as he leaves a mark on my neck.

“Ah- I’m- yes bear!” I squeak out, my eyes squeezing shut and mouth dropping in bliss as that line in my middle that had been winding higher and tighter snaps. Fireworks of pleasure shooting from my core through my legs and stomach up through my chest as he works me through my orgasm, thighs shaking and strings of swears, praises, and whines leave my lips all jumbled and slurred.

He removed his fingers, causing me to whimper at the loss of sensation, and my eyes fluttered open to see he was sucking on the 2 fingers that had just been inside of me, eyes shut in pure bliss. “Holy fuck Carmy.” I said, my core twitching at the absolutely sinful sight.

“Sorry- y’taste fuckin amazing babe.” He said and I nod in agreement.

“It’s fucking hot- can I taste? C’mere” I tug his collar and he gives me a devilish grin.

“Yeah? Y’wanna taste yourself sweet girl? Open” he said. My cheeks heat, thinking he was gonna stick his fingers in my mouth again. I shut my eyes expectantly, and moan when I felt him grab my face and a hot large drop of saliva fall onto my waiting tongue.

My eyes fluttered open, looking up at him surprised. “Sorry- should I have asked?” He blushed a bit. I closed my mouth, enjoying the taste of us both for a moment before swallowing.

“Please do that every time you eat me out. I’m on fucking fire right now, Carmy, fuck- I’ve never even thought about that holy shit. Can you do it again?” I asked, opening my mouth and looking up at him pleadingly.

He chuckled a bit, “greedy girl” he said, growing quiet for a moment as he gathers more saliva before leaning in and spitting it into my awaiting mouth. I smiled gratefully, sticking out my tongue to let him see before swallowing it happily.

“Fuck every time I think somethin’ll freak you out you prove me wrong, little weirdo” he teased and kissed me hard, I giggled into his mouth, gently tugging his curls between my fingers.

“Mm- nothin’ you could do would ever freak me out, the weirder the better” I gently push his sweatpants down enough so his cock sprung free, tip glistening with precum. “Not the only one who’s excited mm?” I teased, running my forefinger up the throbbing vein that ran underneath it- giggling a bit when it jumps at my touch. “Sensitive are we?” I teased and he pushed my shoulders so I’d lay back.

“Y’re in no position t’be teasin’ about sensitive” he pushed the head of his cock between my heat and my panties, rubbing himself through my wetness. I moaned out, realizing the platform I was laid on was the perfect height for our hips, so Carmy wouldn't have to bend at some uncomfortable looking angle.

“Oh- fuck - wow Carm- that feels fuckin amazing holy shit” my head drops back onto my sweatpants, whining as the tip of his cock runs over my clit.

“Fuck- these are fuckin’ soaked honey” he pulled my panties to the side, lining himself up and pushing the tip in. I whined out, grabbing his hand to ground myself at the stretch.

“S-so big” I whimper, my back arching and hips eagerly lifting to try and bury more of him inside of me.

“Y’can take it, my good girl- you love takin’ this cock, mmm?” he said and I laid there, already fucked dumb, jaw dropped, nodding stupidly.

“Yes- yes- i’m yours” I manage to whine out, moaning loudly when he shoves up my sweatshirt and takes my nipple into his mouth again, sucking on it roughly as he thrusts deeper into me. I clenched around him, already feeling that cord in my middle becoming tight once again. Only he could bring me to the edge this fast.

“Yeah? Y’mine baby? Mm?” He hoists my other leg onto his shoulder, holding up my hips and head falling back in bliss as he bottoms out, thrusting in to me with short hard strokes, each one the head of his cock driving into my gspot, causing my eyes to roll back and grunts of pleasure to leave my throat.

He chucked a bit, snapping his hips quicker causing me to squeak in pleasure, my back arching up harder letting out sobs of pure ecstasy. “I-I’m coming i’mcoming- fuck carmy i-ah!” I sqeak out, tears pricking my eyes as my second orgasm crashes over me, Carmen holding my hips still as he chases his own high.

“Fuck- ah- I’m s’close angel just, mmm shit-” he growls as my walls flutter around him, his thrusts becoming much sloppier and less consistent.

“Yes- yesyesyes Bear - fuck- fucking cum in me please baby” I begged, lacing our fingers together and kissing his knuckles sweetly.

He rested his forehead on mine, kissing me deeply and groaning into my mouth as he spills inside of me, getting a few more hard thrusts in as he rides his high, panting hotly, gently wrapping my leg around his waist and pushing himself deeper causing me to whine into him, sucking on his tongue gently.

We made out like that until he was fully soft, his cock eventually slipping out causing me to whine at the sudden gaping empty feeling. “That was…fuck, Bear - like every time we fuck- you impress me more” I said, causing him to chuckle as he fixed his sweatpants and grabbed mine from behind me, gently helping me into them.

“Thanks? I guess? Did I like…suck the first time er’ somethin?” he questioned, causing me to laugh a bit.

“Fuck no baby, I mean like- you’re better then I’ve ever had. I-I didn’t like…realize I had a spit kink till you did that t’me. I love it. I’m like…still thinking about it.” I blushed a bit, moving over so he could sit next to me.

“Thats a kink?” He questioned, taking his cigarettes out and lighting one, wrapping his other arm around me as he smoked.

“Mmhmm- I have a BDSM book, we should look at it together and learn some stuff. I haven't really looked at it too much, but I have a few pages dogeared for stuff I wanna try” I gently brushed his curls from infront of his eyes.

“I just thought I was a nasty fuck, I mean- I thought it was hot, like in porn- I saw this guy, he spits on his girls pussy ‘n stuff before he eats her out…I didn’t know if you’d like it- but dirty stuff is like…hot t’me I guess” he said and I smiled, resting my hand over his.

“You aren’t nasty- thats hot baby…I dunno why I never asked, what kind of porn do you like?” I rub my thumb over his fingers as he took a drag of his cigarette.

“Uh…well- real shit- they call it like.. amateur? Which feels weird t’me, but like…I don’t like scripted shit. I also don’t- Like..not in t’guys at all so I cant focus if im watching a girl get fucked if like all im seein’ is some guys dick. So- I usually watch like…girls getting of - er’ er like…getting eaten out. I dunno” he blushed, eyes fixed on the ground shyly.

“Thaats why” I giggle a bit and he looked at me, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Thats why what?” he questioned and I smile.

“You eat pussy like a fuckin champ- You must be takin’ tips without even realizing it. Really Carmy, y’re like- fuck - the way you eat pussy is insane- its..like the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen” I laughed a bit at how dramatic it sounded but it was nothing but truth.

“It’s not hard- y’just gotta pay attention is all. Can’t imagine its harder then suckin’ dick” he shrugged, taking another drag of his cigarette.

I laughed a bit, eyebrows raised. “Sucking dick is crazy work- are you kidding? Theres virtually no reward other then the sexy noises you make. Other then that, im gagging and crying and choking on your dick, my chin is covered in spit- I probably look insane” I giggled and he shook his head.

“Ok, then maybe its not as hard, but- you look hot as fuck when y’suck me off. Are you kidding me baby? When you look at me and y’re eyes are all teary- its so fuckin sexy” he pulled me into a kiss and I smiled, relishing at the taste of smoke on his tongue.

I pulled away a bit, “You’re the only guy i’ve ever like..enjoyed going down on.” I kissed his chin gently and we both looked up as the door swings open and I rolled my eyes, just my luck.

“Oh- Uh, sorry. Gotta switch over the units from heat to cool, y’guys shouldnt be sittin up there anyway” he maintenance man said and I sighed, hopping off and taking Carms hand as we passed the man.

“Careful- could be slippery over there sir” I joked, causing Carm to chuckle and squeeze my side with his hand as we walked back into the building.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡

#carmen berzatto #the bear fx #the bear fic #carmy berzatto #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #the bear #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto x oc #carmy berzatto smut #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x oc

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nan0-sp1der · 2 months ago

Text

> H.A.S.S._INFO

Greetings. It seems you have found my internet blog, or 'Tumblr', as one would call it. Here you will find some basic information about myself, as seen below. Do read through it at your leisure or at your convenience.

> NAME: " BRIDGE ", HUMANOID ANDROID SURVEYOR SYSTEM, NAN0-SPIDER, "BB"

> ACTIVATION DATE: DECEMBER 24TH, 3048, 4:00:35 UTC

> WEIGHT: 95 LBS / 43.09 KG

> HEIGHT: 5 FT 8 IN / 172.72 CM

> SPECIES: ANDROID, ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, " SPIDER-PERSON ", " THING "

> LOCATION: EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE

> MBTI: ENTJ-A

> VISUAL REFERENCE:

> ADD. DOCUMENTATION 🔗

> AUDIO RECORD 🔗 [MISSING ENTRIES]

> CONNECTIONS

> Boss - @spiderman2-99

> Allies - @lyrate-lifeform-approximation , @glowing-arachnid , @kari-araneaai , @noir-spider-noir , @peterbsideparker , @spiderbite-from-0202 , @ghostly-sunflower , @itsmiguel2099 [INCOMPLETE DATA SET]

> Enemies - Deimos

> DIRECTORY

// post tags

> .IMG - reposted images

> .TXT - reposted textposts

> .LOG - IC blog posts

> Active Processes - physical interaction posts

> H.A.S.S./nano spider - general IC posts and muse tag

> { mun's art } - you get it

> { mun's writing } - self-explanatory

> { ask the mun/muse } - the ask game tag

> { OOC } - mun posting

> { Patch Notes } - small but relevant updates to the blog and other yammering from mun about the blog that is supposedly relevant like seriously who cares?

> MUN_INFO/RULES

> { a blip on your dash } - queued posts

Mun/Admin: misnomer/misno/'mis', she/they/them--nonbinary preferred

lives in the EST timezone

Other Blogs: @asciiid, @ a secret third thing

{ OOC looks like this by the way. This is mun, hi. A lot of Bridge's blog posts might have this weird formatting, but more often than not it'll just look like a normal post without the additional formatting and whatnot. If this lowers readability for anyone, do let me know asap so I can use a more readable method. }

{ here's some basic guidelines for interacting with the muse or myself }

18+ content is permitted, but smut is a no-go. Gore and violence are ok (I'll include a CW out of courtesy ofc).

Haven't really (openly) dived into shipping the muse yet, but if you're considering, hit me up with a DM and we'll discuss things further for the sake of cohesion. Please, please ask me first.

My activity is a bit scattered. if im slow on the pick-up, im either: burnt-out, busy, still trying to figure out how to reply, or with my head deep in a project of some sort. it's never going to be personal.

If I ever forget about a thread, hit me up! I have the memory of a goldfish (/j) and tend to forget most things with ease. Just remind me.

Asks directed at mun are ok! just be mindful and specify who the ask is for. :)

It's self-explanatory that if you come to cause (genuine) trouble, you're not going to receive a warm welcome. think before you speak.

Kind-of a personal rq but if you're ever curious about oc lore or wanna interact to explore it a bit more, I'll happily oblige! This character has been a passion project for about three years now, so I have plenty to share--both tangible and in the form of thoughts that have yet to see paper... oops.

Random starters to my ask box or tagged are ok! Mind the brief period of inactivity as I formulate a reply.

Wanna do an art or writing collab of some sort? Hit me up at @asciiid! Alternatively, DM me here and we'll discuss there.

Thanks for reading, and see you somewhere out there in the rpc. (^^)ｂ

#{ OOC }#H.A.S.S.#humanoid android surveyor system #oc rp #spidersona #spider man: across the spider verse #spider man: into the spider verse #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse

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nocturnowlette · 10 months ago

Text

Fun Hypnotic Ideas #2: Memory Play

My next few entries into this series will be re-iterating some things I've talked about before, so apologies if you have read all of my former posts before now.

First off, if you’re the subject, MAKE SURE that you trust your hypnotist. This is something you only wanna do with someone that you know would not abuse it. Not everyone is affected enough to where its easy to do such a thing, but that’s not a gamble you want to take if you find your hypnotist even slightly iffy. This is, undoubtedly, the dangerous side of hypnosis.

If you’re a hypnotist, be sure to inform your subject of all of this and take things very slowly at first. Make sure that they want to continue before doing more, and make sure of those things out of trance while the person is fully sober and aware. Part of hypnosis a lot of the time is some aspect of role play, but you need to discuss what each party wants and is okay with beforehand. Install safeties to make sure that if something is happening that the subject doesn’t vibe with, that your suggestions can be rejected easily by them.

That all being said, from what I’ve found, you cannot make someone forget information they’ve already taken in. Our brains are quite stubborn in that regard. That being said, there are ways to both limit information coming in and also ways to deal with recalling information.

So, here are some ideas:

Suggest as a trance begins to direct the subjects focus on your words, focusing so much on each new word that it’s hard to remember what was said just a bit ago, going right to their subconscious instead of their conscious memory.

Focus on redirecting their memory when attempting to recall something specific. My hypnotist introduced me to this one, where any time you try to recall what happens during trance, the thought redirects to whatever the hypnotist wants. A trigger is the simplest, perhaps something that clears their thoughts like a bubble pop or something similar. In my opinion, it’s important that what their thought is directed to is something specific like a visual for it to be effective, instead of something abstract like “you will drop when you try to think.”

Another option is to suggest that the subject doesn’t want to recall or think about the trance. This is most effective if a lot of your suggestions focus strongly on obedience and devotion. Your subject willingly wanting not to do it can’t hurt.

The last option I have seen used well is to suggest that whenever you specifically ask your subject if they can remember something, it suddenly becomes impossible to think about or remember whatever you said. It can be a nice way to demonstrate the power of your suggestion and make it feel more legitimate and possible, which will then make it more effective.

However, the most effective practice, and the thing that will really put you over the top, is combining multiple if not all of these. If you have 5 traps set in place, even if some fail, each layer has a chance to intercept the recall.

And, of course, the most important part of all of these is to reinforce. Reinforce, reinforce, reinforce. I do not see enough hypnotists reinforce their suggestions enough. Reinforce them during the one trance, reinforce them during multiple trances after them. Give suggestions that it will keep getting stronger, and keep reinforcing after that.

Those are all of my thoughts on the topic for now. I've done some memory play with subjects and if they're strongly suggestible to you already, it can be a lot easier than you may think to make it very difficult for them to remember anything.

Be safe, and good luck.

#owlette #hypnosis #text hypnosis #memory play #mind conditioning #mind control #hypnosub #hypnok1nk

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jazzically · 1 month ago

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magp 8

ugggh even though im listening for it i dont always notice norris slipping into human voice till ex post facto it's completely seamless which is just AGAIN ITS SO SO COOL I ADORE THIS IDEA

OOH MY GOSH ABANDONED SPACE NEEDLE?!?!?!?!?

brilliant. fabulous lovely fantastic. i havent written much bc ive been concentrating too hard on understanding the academic paper lol but it's sooo goood i love this

hell yeah metaphorical hunger and spooky parking lots

UGH OK SORRY (im only apologizing to myself bc i keep pausing per every 10 seconds audio) but like another reason this episode is gorgeous is that even throughout the description of the experience, the author maintains a mostly academic tone and references the original purpose of telling the story when appropriate. in short, this new format — and every such new medium of storytelling brought to the series through each episode — is not some flimsy shell covering up a spooky statement, some excuse to tell the tale that needs to be conveyed. this case actually sounds like a scholar's genuine description of the events that led him to begin a scientific study and OOOGH THATS!!!! MARVELOUS

k back to listeni Oh another thing — alex does really well with controlling the amount of subtle pauses and inflections in speech (decreasing their frequency when robotic, increasing their frequency when speaking as a human)

OOOOH IS THIS ONE A CALLBACK TO MAG 48: LOST IN THE CROWD MAYHAPS..... (i love that episode did you know i love that episode)

with the matching clothes and eVERYthing god

ykw i see it now. valid. the stranger. as far as im concerned theres still a case for the lonely so these two are giving more of like a mashup of both i think

AUGH im doing it again. stop trying to categorize!!!!!

THIS IS ACTUALLY SO SCARY WTF

i dunno i just really like that at the beginning alice assigns these names to the computer's various voices and we just start calling them that. it feels so natural, like another office shtick, that you forget we don't actually know their names

oh wait he actually did lose his finger!!!? whoa

god i just love alice

alice's and gwen's personalities are very interesting

aw man i miss teddy dude. he seemed like a great guy. i didn't quite register fully that bro was leaving (although now that i can sort of see the larger structure of the story unfolding, i understand the setting up of plot in ep 1 better. it feels cool to think about)

geez this is a long one

FOLY HUCK

GIGI???????

HOLY CHRISTHUBIJOGSIEIHS ITS ACTUALLY GERRY I MISSED YOU GERRY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

ok so is this an actual alternate universe??? or did this just happen before gerry died ???????? huh???????? then how do they have jonny's and martin's voices on some random old computers????? OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO screams and fixates and yells

GERTRUDE YAAAAASSSSSSSSS i hope she gets to cackle i really really do

ok wait this can't possibly be in the past because the ep about the voyeur blog post movie thing had entries from like 2022 iirc

HUH

oh yea i nearly forgot gerry paints!!!

This is so fricking funny i bet gerry keeps calling gertrude "gigi" just to annoy her

WAIT is he actually her grandson?? was that mentioned in the original series ???

gertrude answer the question

AWW GERRYS HAPPY he sounds so joyful and it makes me wanna cry he was so cool and awesome and deserved better in tma

TELEPORTATION??? HELLO?

OMG CELIA WAS ON WTG THE WORLDBUILDING GOES CRAZY

wHEW ok that was a long (and amazing) one. lot of HMMMs goin on in my head rn. EEEEE

#tma #tma spoilers #tmagp #the magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers #jazz freaks out about tmagp #tma.txt

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nekoannie-chan · 4 months ago

Text

Wrong chose

Title: Wrong chose.

Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Reader, ? X Reader.

Word count: 952 words.

Rating: Teen.

Summary: You think Steve’s gonna be with you for the rest of your lives.

Major Tags: Sad, heartbroken, time travel.

Additional tags: This is my entry to @caplanbuckybarnes Songs4Caplan Challenge with the song:

"Rolling in the deep by Adele."

youtube

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate my work myself) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. Please let me know if you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish: Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter.

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @Smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @Harrysthiccthighss @Marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @Here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard

In a small hidden cafe, Steve sat in the corner, sipping a coffee while watching the people go by. You entered the café looking for Steve, they had arranged to meet there.

When Steve saw you, he looked up and smiled. You approached the table; everything had been so strange since the click.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I'm fine, I just needed a break,” you replied.

You and Steve spent the night talking, laughing and sharing stories.

Despite everything that had happened, the life you now led was almost what you had always wanted, except for one thing... As much as you had tried, you still didn't have a baby.

One night, days after the Blip, Steve came into the room, you noticed the confusion and pain in his eyes.

“I don't know what to do,” he confessed, taking your hands in his.

“What's wrong, Steve? “you asked him, worried.

“As you know, Tony has found a way to travel through time, which is what we used to get the gems and well I don't know, I was thinking...” he said, his voice trembling. I could go back and be with Peggy, and live the life I always wanted.

“You have to do what you feel is right,” you said, leaving the room, you knew that if you stayed there, you would cry.

Steve followed you and stopped you, kissed you with an intensity that made you forget everything else; and then without saying a word, he hugged me. You felt his tears in my hair and knew this was as hard for him as it was for me.

“I love you,” you whispered in his ear, knowing it was the last time you could say those words to him.

“I love you too,” he replied.

The day Steve would leave came; while he was surrounded by the others, you were at a safe distance, you thought no one saw you, but Brock noticed what was happening.

You and Brock had been in a relationship years before you met Steve, when Steve showed up, you guys split up.

And as soon as you saw him disappear in the time machine, you decided it was time to leave too, you knew your life would never be the same again.

A month later

You were startled when you heard someone ringing your doorbell, you had finally moved into the house your parents had inherited from you, Steve didn't know about it, so he wouldn't look for you.

You hardly ever had visitors, so you thought maybe it was the girl scouts selling cookies.

When you opened the door you were surprised to see Brock.

“It's been a while, you didn't come back,” he said.

“I have no reason to come back,” you replied, letting him pass.

“Ever since I met you, you told me you've always wanted to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. ”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. no longer exists and you know it,” you interrupted him.

“It's because of him, isn't it? ”

You kept quiet, you hadn't told anyone what you had found out a few weeks ago.

“I can arrange everything so that they don't meet, but we need you...”

“No, Brock, I can't go back... I'M PREGNANT! “You blurted out, but immediately covered your mouth with your hands, you were never supposed to tell anyone that secret.

“He went away and left you knowing that.... “Brock clenched his fist; you could hear the annoyance in his voice.

“He didn't know, I found out the day after he went into the past, he can't find out. ”

“Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. I never really stopped loving you and that baby needs a father. ”

“Brock... ”

Brock came over and kissed you.

You knew that your son would never meet his biological father, but he would have the perfect father as Brock immediately began to set up the room and everything they would need.

You gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who looked exactly like Steve. Both Brock and you decided that you would not tell anyone about the baby, you would protect him from everything and everyone, and you were not going to allow him to be separated from you.

One day, while you were walking with your son in the park Brock had gone to buy him the balloon he wanted. You turned around when you felt you were being watched, and that's when you saw Steve, you recognized him even though he looked different.

“I came back,” he said, approaching you.

“Why? “You asked him, trying to stay calm, you didn't want the baby to start crying.

“Because I love you and I can't live without you,” he answered.

“Steve, you can't be here,” I said, your voice starting to shake.

Steve looked at you in disbelief and then at the baby, he was confused, trying to understand what was happening.

“My son? “he asked, surprised.

“He's my son, we don't need you, he has the ideal father and it's not yours. ”

“But he is my son... ”

“I can't let you take him away too,” you said firmly. My son can't be part of your world. ”

Steve tried to protest, but you stopped him.

“You must go back to the past and live your life with Peggy. It's best for all of us. ”

“Peggy and I divorced, the children she said were mine... ”

“I don't care. I don't care. ”

“You'd better go, Rogers.” Brock appeared behind you. Steve was startled at the sound of his voice.

“You guys...? ”

“Bye Rogers “Brock carefully took you by the shoulders to lead you away from the place.

#songs4caplan #steve rogers x reader #Youtube

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bellyyearner · 2 months ago

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Not a horny post

Holding my hands like a foot from my gut and acting like I'm jiggling my belly when in reality I'm gripping nothing is as hot as it's always been. Like just the thought that eventually I could be that size, my tummy is growling with desire just imagining it.

I love being fat, it's fucking great, and I remember this post on here(I forget who it was by) but it boiled down to "you need to be ok being fat on your own, outside validation won't always be there, a partner could leave you, you could leave, or they could unfortunately pass away". 100% agree, you need to be 100% ok and fulfilled in your own skin.

The only part of this idea that is uncomfy is that for those of us that wanna be massive it's such a huge commitment and you'd hope that mutual commitment between you and your partner would last forever. Like the only reason I lost weight (and still losing weight 375 -> 310) is because I wanna gain for my partner, I wanna have that experience last as long as possible. Their love being added to my hips is a lovely idea. But realistically 500ish lbs is a good limit for my height at 6'3" if I was married to them, if I was married for like a decade with that person then that's a different story and my limit would be *their* limit. Id maybe go to 400ish before a marriage proposal

But as for actively gaining outside of a committed relationship, it's a tricky question. I'd love nothing more than to be a massive fatty, smoking weed and indulging often. Id gladly stuff myself during the dating phase and indulge, but id still be heading to the gym often though. Because realistically I gotta focus on my EMS career and build a future that's potentially a solo future, cause for me I doubt I could have a long term relationship without feedism. I don't need to be actively gaining but I'd need to have the love for fat be apparent. It's an integral part of who I am and has been for as long as I can remember. From being a kid adding playdough to my legos to make them fat, rewatching cartoon episodes centered around weight gain over and over, finding deviantart wayyy too early and reading stories for hours, my eyes lingering on fat people too long, all the way to finally getting on Tumblr a few years ago. I don't know how or why it started but for as far back as my memory goes, fat has been a centerpiece of it.

I'm not 100% sure where I expected this post to go, it's more of a diary entry than anything ig, but I'd find it hard to believe I'm alone in these sentiments. The world we live in isn't built for fat people, let alone massively fat people. From societal expectations to architecture it just seems like fat people were not considered.

Anyways I'ma shut up cause I'm rambling. TLDR I love being fat and hope with all of my being that I can find a life partner that is just as obsessed with fat as I have always been

#feedist discourse #not a kink post #its not the same thing but i kinda view it the same way i view gay ppl #like you cant change what you like and expecting someone to abandon part of themselves for a 'normal' life is dumb

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kingdomkeykitsune · 5 months ago

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KHOC WEEK 2024 DAY 7: Future

The last day of @khoc-week is always such a bittersweet day, but we'll be back next year I know. So for now, have a look into C.E.'s not-too-distant future, when things have calmed down a bit, there's less need to worry about protecting the town, and her next big challenge is just facing down growing up.

(Also, I'm rescheduling Seifer, Rai, and Fuu's "Hero's Journey" to be sometimes post-KH3, for plot convenience. Because it's my story and I get to choose the timeline 😜)

I never want to leave this sunset town

But one day the time may come

And I'll take you at your word

And carry on

I'll hate the goodbye

But I won't forget the good times

I won't forget the good times

- Good Times, by All Time Low

-☆-

C.E. stood on the platform in the central station with a duffle bag by her feet and her phone clutched loosely in one hand as she waited for her train to arrive. She could hardly believe this was happening, she’d never thought she'd find herself leaving this town… It was her home, the only one she’d ever known... She knew every nook, cranny, and back alley, she’d explored every inch of the tunnels in the old underground network. She could find her way anywhere blindfolded if she had to.

And now she found herself leaving it behind.

She closed her stinging eyes and swallowed against the lump growing in her throat, silently reassuring herself that it was only temporary. She’d be moving back as soon as she finished school, and she’d be back to visit before then. It wouldn’t be that long, she could do this. Taking a deep breath, she tried to steady herself when, suddenly, a familiar voice spoke from behind her.

“Hey.” She blinked and turned to see Seifer standing behind her, a large backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Hey…" She said quietly in return, not sure what he wanted. He looked her over, eyes landing on the bag next to her.

"...Heading down to the beach?" He asked.

"Sort of… There's a town near it with a really good photography school… Classes start Monday and since the train doesn't run close to campus I'll be staying in the dorms…" She said, twisting a lock of hair around her finger. He frowned.

"So… You're leaving town all together." He stated, and she nodded. Then she gestured at his bag.

"What about you, where are you headed with that big ol' bag?" She asked. He looked at his bag and shrugged.

"Rai, Fuu, and me decided to take a trip. They'll be here soon. Surprised your misfit entourage isn't here to see you off." C.E. frowned at him.

"Luka has a shift and Nao's babysitting, not that it's your business. So all three of you are leaving town too?" Seifer nodded.

"Yeah. Taking the other line down the mountain." He said, gesturing to the other outbound track and C.E. nodded, fidgeting with her phone. An awkward silence fell between them for a long moment. Suddenly Seifer shoved his phone at her, screen open to a fresh contacts entry.

"Gimme your new contact info, maybe I'll write you or something." He said, refusing to look her in the eye. She blinked several times before letting out a hushed chuckle.

"Okay, yeah, sure, but you gotta give me yours too. I don't wanna have to wait on you to make the first move, we'll never talk again." She grinned, handing her own phone over. He huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes as he took the device.

"Yeah, fine, whatever. Just hurry up, I don't have all day."

"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on." She snorted, plugging her information into his phone. They traded back just as Rai and Fuu walked up.

"Yo! Our train's at the next platform man!" Rai called and Seifer rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know, just gimme a sec!" he called back, waving him off. Rai grumbled but followed Fuu to their platform. C.E. chuckled.

"You should go, you've got a train to catch." She said. He turned his attention back to her, seemingly mulling something over.

"Yeah, there's just one thing I need to do first." He said and she raised a brow.

"And what's that?"

"This." He smirked and hooked a hand behind her neck. Before she could ask any more questions his lips crashed against hers, catching her in a bruising kiss. Her eyes widened for a moment before her knees went weak and they slid closed as she whimpered softly. His other arm slipped around her waist, pulling her close as one of her hands tangled in his coat. The kiss felt like it lasted forever, and yet it still wasn't long enough before he pulled back. He chuckled at her dazed expression and made sure she'd be steady on her feet before letting her go.

"There you go, a little something to remember me by, until you see me again. See ya later, dorkface." He grinned and strolled off towards where Rai and Fuu were waiting. C.E. shook off her shock and squeaked indignantly.

"H-Hey! Wait! What was that about!? Seifer? SEIFER!" She yelled after him but only got a loud laugh and a wave in return. She wanted to chase after him but had to stop herself as an announcement saying her train would be arriving momentarily crackled over the station's old intercom system. She scowled and yelled after him.

"Don't think this is over! You'll have to answer me eventually!"

-☆-

Later, when she went to sit down in her seat on the train, she found his beanie hanging out of her back pocket.

#khocweek2024 #khoc week #my oc #c.e.#seifer #my writing

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gaelsstuffiehome · 5 days ago

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I've been meaning to update our pinned post about Gael-specific tags, but before I do that, wanted to let everyone know how I keep things organized around here!

#GaelPersonal - Super simple! These are blog entries about my personal plush collection, which can include plushie hauls, thrifting adventures, Disney Parks trips, fun things my bears and stuffies are doing around the house, and more!

#GaelACNH - I don't like to post too much Animal Crossing New Horizons stuff here, but when I do, this is the hashtag I'll use! I want this blog to focus more on the shop, my personal collection, and traveling, but sometimes, I'll just really wanna share some silly ACNH stuff with you!

#GaelShop - And this is why I have this blog to begin with! Our first and foremost mission is to find homes for old stuffies of all shapes and sizes! Whether I'm telling you about new listings, giving an update on Gael's day, making small repairs (like Woolly the Wild Republic Mammoth) or anything else involving finding new homes for loved-before plushes, this is always the hashtag I will use!

Sometimes, I may even use two hashtags. I may add more as time goes on, but I don't want this blog to get too chaotic, so we'll have to see 😊

Hope everyone's having a nice day! I'm ready for a pillow fort and nap! Maybe a few episodes of Goof Troop, which I've had fun rewatching lately.

Click here to check out our adoption home for old stuffed animals, where everyone is 40% off this week! And don't forget our popular Mystery Plush orders in any size are 25% off! All orders have guaranteed same-day shipping if placed before 7 PM EST!

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ladyazurith · 6 months ago

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Hi! How are you? I saw the story giveaway you’re doing and thought I’d like to enter!

I’m a vil lover first and foremost lol, he’s my special little guy, and my biggest gripe is that. Not that many people can actually write him well imo? Like! They don’t do him Justice! They fall for the facade!!! They have fallen into the trap and it’s actually smth that happens to Carter’s character a lot too!!I wanted to try my own hand but kept on getting lost amongst bee hyperfixations so they’ve been put on hold. And then I saw this!!!!!

CaterVil is actually a newer ship for me, and I’ve never read any fics before but it was while I was perusing the tags that I came across ur blog. Gonna read your fics next lol but I thought I’d jump on the fic giveaway first lest I forget.

Anyways, my prompt was vil working on the music aspect of his career—(pop star vil lives in my head rent free I truly believe this man is triple threat material, I mean absolutely beautiful?? Come ON!!but if u don’t wanna explore that part, than maybe he’s trying for a role of some hero in a movie musical? Or smth idk) and he’s trying to write some original love songs, but he’s struggling cause he wants it to be authentic but he’s never BEEN in love before tho he’s played at it convincingly. So he asks cater for help writing a song. And cater HAS love songs ABOUT vil. And it’s ironic bc like vil knows caters got these love songs and they’re so raw and real but at the same time believes caters feelings for him are fake. When he finds out these songs are abt him oh my GODDDDDD. Culminates in vil succeeding at writing love songs. And they’re abt CATER.

Yeah okay I was listening to I want to write you a song by 1D when I was struck by this 😭😭😭

I feel kind of lucky in a way myself. I just made my random selection by Dice Roll and you were the winner. I had several different entries but not many with my favorite ship. Since you posted this anonymously; and I have no way to know who actually sent me this, I will go ahead and post the story publicly on Ao3 tagged as the contest winner, with a link to Tumblr. I hope you enjoy it Anon.

#twisted wonderland #twst #cater diamond #vil schoenheit #vilkei #twst fanfic #story give away

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king-a-queen · 2 years ago

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Eurovision 2023 pt. 1

pt. 2 | pt. 3

It’s this time of the year again! To honor beginning of Eurovision week here’s my opinion on this year’s songs and my ideal qualifiers at the end. No hate, just positive vibes here, feel free to disagree.

Semi-Final 1

Croatia (Let 3 – Mama ŠČ!) – You either love it or hate it. I personally love it – it’s grotesque, weird, absolutely unique and outstanding. We’ll forget most of song from this Eurovision in few years, but not this one. It shows that there’s not just one way to convey an anti-war message.

Ireland (Wild Youth – We Are One) – Not a big fan of this one. Sounds like it comes from a Disney Channel teen movie. It has a summerish, positive vibe, but that’s about it. Also, the live performance from Irish TV leaves much to be desired.

Latvia (Sudden Lights – Aijā) – At first I wasn’t a big fan of it, but right now it’s one of my faves. The vibe of this song makes me wanna lie on the floor and just become one with this song. And they’re great live performers.

Malta (The Busker – Dance (Our Own Party)) – This song feels like it’s a mix of Daði og Gagnamagnið, The Roop and SunStroke Project. It has its own charm, the staging is eventful and the lyrics are relatable. While it’s not one of my faves, it holds a special place in my heart.

Norway (Alessandra – Queen Of Kings) – Definitely one of the strongest participant this year. The song has everything that Eurovision wants: the strong vocals, the lyrics, the staging, the vibe and the powerful message. My only concern is whether it being a viral is more of an advantage or disadvantage.

Portugal (Mimicat – Ai Coração) – Amazing, vintage, burlesque vibe. Not my favorite, but I really enjoy it.

Serbia (Luke Black – Samo Mi Se Spava) – My number 1 since I’ve heard a few seconds of it on PZE recap. I love the message and the dark, mysterious vibe. It feels like it belong in a trailer of some epic, post-apocalyptic game. I regularly listen to it on repeat.

Azerbaijan (TuralTuranX – Tell Me More) – Do they have a chance? Probably not, but they still bring a great, chill vibe.

Czech Republic (Vesna – My Sister's Crown) – My Slavic heart loves all of it – the message, different Slavic languages and folklore elements. You don’t get bored listening to it. I just feel, Vesna need to work on their live performance for it to be perfect.

Finland (Käärijä – Cha Cha Cha) – Before Finland’s NF I didn’t get the hype for this song. I found it weird, messy and chaotic. But after seeing live performance and public going absolutely crazy for it, I started to get it. Now it’s one of my favorites. What can I say, it’s crazy, it’s party.

Israel (Noa Kirel – Unicorn) – It’s a great, well-produced song and Noa is a very talented artist. I think it may be one of the dark horses of this year’s comp.

Moldova (Pasha Parfeni – Soarele şi Luna) – I love those ethnic bops. Pasha is a great performer and it sounds absolutely amazing live.

Netherlands (Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper – Burning Daylight) – It’s hard for me to judge it, as I don’t fancy songs like that. I’m not a fan, but good luck to them.

Sweden (Loreen – Tattoo) – In my opinion it’s a bit overrated entry. And before anybody comes at me, I like the song and I know it’s really good. It’s just that it’s absolutely what I expect from Sweden and Loren at Eurovision and I prefer to be surprised. But Loreen is amazing performer and I don’t think that this song would work so well if anybody else without such charisma tried to sing it.

Switzerland (Remo Forrer – Watergun) – A great anti-war ballad. I’m not a fan of ballads, but I think it’s a good one. With great staging, he can do well and I’m sure juries will appreciate it (if he qualifies that is).

My ideal qualifiers (in no particular order): Croatia, Latvia, Malta, Norway, Serbia, Czech Republic, Finland, Israel, Moldova, Sweden

#eurovision #Eurovison Song Contest #eurovision 2023 #Croatia #Ireland #latvia #malta #norway #portugal #serbia #azerbaijan #czech republic #finland #israel #moldova #netherlands #sweden #switzerland #esc

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stonyponyofficial · 2 years ago

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hi!!!! :3 here are "some songs" ive been "listening to" that "i" think "you" should too!

spotify || youtube

notes on each below ^w^

Big Dipper - Death Grips: this song has such a good bounce to it, it makes me move no matter what, i cant help it. especially the chorus cuz ill start singing along and, well, then theres no stopping me. ill wiggle in my seat or like put some bounce in my step. which is all fun when im listening to music at home, but at work, where i mostly listen to music, i cant i have to skip the song. plus i love u songs that end with a good few minutes of noise just because, i never skip u i swear 🥺

classic j dies and goes to hell - glass beach: im fiiiinally getting around to glass beach and why didn't ANYONE say it was good? don't think ive heard the opinion that the first glass beach album is good yet. i wanted to listen to more bc of the hazel "Twinkle Park" version of the self titled song which is also very good but i put this one on this list bc it builds energy and emotion soooo well. it starts so somber but builds and builds till we're screaming about supporting each other and making a home for yourself despite despite despite.

DOGTOOTH - Tyler, The Creator: he creates once more! i always forget i had a kinda big tyler thing in high school until he releases new music. out of all his recent releases post-Flower Boy, Call Me didnt connect with me as much, but this single from the Call Me If You Get Lost "estate sale" of stuff that didnt make the album surprisingly did! it feels a little flowerboy-ish in the production but has the call me vibes of like "i can afford all these cars, buy my neighbors house, and ill still take my private plane to Switzerland for the day just cuz i was craving some nice chocolate" very braggadocio, very tyler, very good :)

Dumbass!! - Machine Girl: this song both sounds like and has similar effects as brainworms. it fuckin. got in there and made me quantifiably more insane than i was before. said brainworms make me wanna scream the lyrics and scuffle my feet and just like run into traffic and dance around the cars bc this song makes me believe i could and id be fine. i hope to fucking god they play this at the mg/100 gecs show. this song is also one of the few times ive looked up the lyrics for a machine girl song, usually content to just let the beats jar my head, and as soon as i did i couldnt get them out :) like some sort of... thought... eating... something or other idk theres probably a word for it (<-the worms are finally getting to her)

Fantastic Cat - Takako Minekawa: this song is sooooo cute, there is so much synth and whimsy to be had! unfortunately i don't know much about the artist bc this was one of the first songs i found after using Radiooooo (which u should be basically required to use if u like music and finding new music) set to Japan in the 90s, but she's part of the 'shibuya-kei' genre/subculture that was popular during that time, which sounds like an interesting topic to dive into :3 the whimsy contained in this song is almost too much tho. the melody is so sweet, that wind instrument is so silly, and the moog breakdown in the middle too is. well, its all quite fantastic.

HI 5 - Frost Children: i took too long making this post that this entry went from originally a cheeky indirect plug for their upcoming album bc i just really liked this single to just,, oh the album came out... but either way i wanted to talk about the song bc 2 me its just more proof of how exciting of a voice in hyperpop the frost children are. the bass on it is as crazy and slick as the one on the cover. this whole song just explodes with eccentricity i think ull really like it :) also check out the epic music video! its ai generated for those who'd like to know beforehand, but they use it to like. rotoscope real footage its preddy neat!

Introduce me to your family - Otoboke Beaver: i made a little post recently about Otoboke Beaver's influence on six impala's WFLYTD, and after revisiting their album, Itekoma Hits, after making that post i got this one stuck in my head for a while. the hook hooks (the main reason i had it in my head for so long), the bass is groovy, the guitars are sharp, the rage is channeled, its all here! they keep all the energy going and growing the whole time until you cant help but scream along.

こんがらがった! (Kongaragatta!/Tangled up!)- Necry Talkie: started reading the bocchi manga recently (im just past where the show ends as of now :3) and they have art at the beginning of each chapter with the kessoku band members that references visuals from like irl japanese bands and music videos which i thought was really cool! of course i had to find a collection of all the referenced songs, and what do ya know... this cute little number was in there! (if ur wondering it's the art for chapter 18 that references this song's music video :3) its such a dinky beat at first (said so so lovingly) but it evolves into a precise, energetic little jam.

One Million Dollars - 100 gecs: this fucking sonnng.. not everyones fav off 10k i know but it is for me :3 it just rattles me in such a specific way. it originated and is the only way to sate the need in my brain to hear what it was like for nic cage in that "not the bees!!!!" scene. i love it sm, but im absolutely biased from my hearing this at a gec show and falling for it right then and there. the live version and the album version are a bit different and i think the changes they made for the album make it a fuller song i just. loved the feeling of hearing this live so much. i would just search up the epic live version at terminal 5 where Laura fucking SHREDS on the guitar at the end over and over while i was waiting for the album. again, makes me very excitied to see them and machine girl soon :3

o (__*) - Hakushi Hasegawa: i dont know much about this artist but goddamn the few songs i have heard from them have made such an impression. u know a song is good when its not even dnb but uses the "yeah.. woo!" sample to keep everything going. and yeah with how crazy fucking banana bonkers jazzy and technical the drums and piano get at times it needs that tiny bit of stability at least. this song feels like the epitome of controlled chaos in the absolute best way possible.

PARTY GIRL - Angel Electronics: after rook's latest solo album came out i decided to go back and visit this collab project of hers with ash nerve i had missed at first and.... weeeeeeh ;w; this song makes me wanna cry every time. rook can obviously write some bangers but i love her more tender songs too. so many parts come together to make it just the sweetest thing. the part that stuck with me the most was the chorus, like it's sooo cute id just sing it to myself on loop bc it leads into itself so well. i wanna just keep talking about how fucking cute this song is but like George Costanza voice the love story between the party girl and the weird shy girl got to me okay?

Prime - Marnie Stern: kinda the reason im making this list hehe :3 this song was on char 'igottawin' mp3's most recent WILT (what im listening to) poast (hi char :3) and it was What Im was Listening To... too... (both of us bc of this epic animation) so here it is on MY knockoff WILT post too mwahaha hahaha! haha but seriously guys this song is quite good. it does so much with all the variations on just that one verse and i get sucked into the lyrics and the guitars. and by the fourth time im chanting this same unending verse the song is surprisingly over and i just wanna listen to it again. this one deserves a 10 hr extended version frfr

Wait and Bleed - Slipknot & 青春コンプレックス(Seishun Complex) - Kessoku Band: whats this? a double entry? ahaha yes! 😈 i would've put these songs here separately bc ive been getting into both slipknot (thank u char :3) and the actual kessoku band album, both of which are quite good on their own. but i only combine their entries here bc of this epic mashup of these two songs by the aforementioned rook blackdresses which makes me unable to sing either without thinking of the other song. like the first three chords of the bocchi theme start playing and my brain wants to scream the GOODBYEEEEEE from Wait and Bleed. the slipknot chorus melds with the kessoku band guitars soooo well. to me they are pieces from different puzzles entirely but they still fit together <3

wants mom to know she looks cool and doesn't plan on changing - leroy: i finally listened to the dariacore and accompanying berdlycore serieseses and ive loved diving into this little subculture of silly hyperpop meme mashups that fuck immensely. takes the silly to earnest and very good pipeline to a new level. plus having been a fan of dltzk and jane's other stuff its the one thing i never really got into but there are. so many dariacore related things i need to listen to now. i feel like theres lore i have to catch up on but im excitied :3 this is one of my faves off dariacore 2: electaria corebaloo (not what its called)

This has been... Post! thanks for your time. if u read this far i love u so much please never forget that. 'til summer music-heads! *curtsies and shows myself off-stage*

#violet originals #some songs #i guess that's what im gonna call these hehe :3 #ik how very laid back and noncommittal of me #i wanna do these kinda regularly but idk how often ill have new music to share #so i think a good compromise schedule-wise is seasonally? but if it strikes my fancy i wont stop myself from doing a 'spring 2' so to speak #anyway music love music love sharing music with others <3 #thanks to char mp3 for inspiring um. all of this i suppose :3 <3 #read her WILTs too theyre even better than mine #(also i know i use a lot of parentheses i just have thoughts about my thoughts.okay?)

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annyankers · 2 years ago

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Have you given us a breakdown on Anya (Train’s version) yet? I’m loving your recent Anya posts and want to know more

kdjlsfghdfjklsg OKAY!!!!! ANYANKA!!!! TRAIN'S VERSION!!!!!

First off I fancast her with Emma Myers now or Maya Hawke in the recent past. I feel both of them could handle the role and both are closer looking to the 17-18yo age we’d need for S3!Anya which is one of my main reasons for even recasting Anyanka bc lbr... Emma Caulfield is iconic in the role no notes really on her end. But yeah, both could pull off that “alien who just moved to earth tries to hang with the teenz” vibes that are so integral to the Anya experience.

After that I just lean WAY more into her established backstory and season 3 personality, you know, how she was before they flanderized her to hell and back. Basically more of a cranky adult trapped in a shitty mortal teen body and having to deal with all this shit they can’t remember from their own youth and probably didn’t have to even deal with the first time around. Her moods are all over the place in S3-4 since she’s so new to being mortal and like...18 years old. It’s like being boss baby and needing a nap lol.

She also has beef with Willow and Giles from day one and actually develops a real friendship with Cordelia and Faith-- basically if they’re in the Scooby sphere but not well liked by the Scoobies proper they’re gonna end up friends with Anyanka. Which means by the end of the series she’s homies with Cordelia, Faith, Spike, Oz, Angel, Wesley, Andrew, etc. The only one I don’t think she’d have time for is Amy and that’s entirely because she doesn’t have time for her or Willow and their issues with magic, superiority complexes and how little they listen to her even tho she’s you know, their obvious magical superior on the knowledge front.

Circling back to Willow and Giles it’s because she’s the anti-Willow and anti-Giles in some ways and until a better set up is thought up she’s basically the spirit and mind of the shadow self hands-heart-spirit-mind metaphor that the scoobies take on. She and Spike are basically already the Rowdy Ruff Boys to the Scoobies’ Powerpuff Girls as is. She’s already kind of established as a shadow Willow in the show but I wanna you know...... NOT FORGET SHE CAN DO MAGIC FOR LIKE 4 SEASONS.

Without her demonic powers Anyanka is not as strong of a witch as Willow when it comes to pure strength. But she was an extremely gifted one even before she got 1,000+ years to hone her craft and learn more. She can buy and sell Willow and Giles any day of the week, they basically only win against her because Buffy’s the slayer, luck, MC powers etc etc yada yada. She’s also not afraid to remind them of this fact which makes Willow especially very insecure and dislike her a LOT. Along with that Anyanka still lacks a filter nor cares to get one. She probably also backed Faith’s whole bad slayer shit for a while like “yeah you go girl get your revenge!!!! (and also idk can you maybe help me get my powers back or like??? talk to your boss about it????? idk idk)”. bc ofc she’s not giving up on that so easily and also you know, Faith is a pretty wronged lady and old habits die hard. Also it parallels the Buffy-Willow friendship and makes it all sexy and evil and shadow self-y.

ofc once she realizes what he wants to do is Ascend she’s like LOL NVM I’M OUT!!!! LOL BYEEEEEE!!!!!

I’d still have her going to prom with Xander, negging him when she asks him and terrorizing him unintentionally the whole night. It’s comic gold. But I want her entry into being a main cast member to not be wholly dependent on her riding his dick on the reg like in canon so she’s the first person to bang on Buffy’s door and be like “something’s happening to the Sunnydale demon population!!!!” because ofc she still cares about them, in her brain she’s not human, she’s a demon. This whole mortal form thing is temporary really. Her and Xander is a background courting ritual of freaks and losers incomprehensible to all around them. It’s not the slap slap kiss vibes of Xander/Cordelia but it still has the same “whAT--?!?!?” moment and top tier comedic duo timing.

Anya only really starts to see herself as human when she breaks her arm in 5x2 and even then it’s very uneasy. It’s like 8 kinds of crisis she’s combatting here guys.

Also starting in S4 she and Spike are besties. Again it’s a shadow self, my demons are their own angels, us but sexier energy. They’re serving Scoobies from the Negaverse. They’re giving “this could be you Buffy but you playing”. They’re also like, the greek chorus in the back being like “uhhhhhh what’s with the gross human-centric ethics you creeps?”. They’re another next level comedy duo. Could’ve removed his chip the whole time but he never asked so she never offered. She mentions this casually in Season 7 and he mcloses it over that for several episodes, it’s a running gag.

Anya and Willow have Tension from Season 4 on about being the Magical Girl of the group. The Scoobies all naturally pick Willow pretty consistently over Anya but then Willow Fucks Up (something blue etc) and they turn to Anya to fix it. It’s a popularity contest and they all know it and it makes Anya bitter and Willow even more insecure. This feeds into her Dark Willow Arc later. Also, she and Anya have a Wizard Fight at the end of Season 6 and it’s Sick Nasty.

Xander still leaves her at the altar because I think that’s actually very important to both of their characters and she does still become a demon again. The major difference is that she doesn’t then stop being one in Season 7. She ends out the series still a demon and the confrontation in the frat house actually is basically a psychological boss battle for Buffy that gets into shit relevant to the season and her own struggles.

Anyanka never really asked for this, she was basically tricked/manipulated both times into becoming a demon but she also gains incredible powers from being like this that realistically she wouldn’t want to give up as they’re a part of her now. Her identity is malleable, she’s been treated like she doesn’t get to have one, she has to fight to make one of her own. she’s in a position when she’s controlled by a cruel man and if she goes outside the lines or does things she feels are right the consequences are dire. She is Buffy, she’s the demon side of Buffy. The counterpoint to Dawn’s innocent youthful human girl, she’s the grown adult demon woman. She’s representing the struggles Buffy is dealing with now in herself and the plot. Buffy ends up deciding to not punish her for the murders both yes because of friendship but also because Anyanka is an irreplaceable asset, even more so now that she’s a demon again, and Buffy cannot afford to lose any of those right now. A logic that Anyanka actually approves of.

I enjoy Anya’s fish out of water and no filter vibes in the original but I hate how they consistently forget she’s smart until it’s useful again. Like lbr, S4-7 Anya is basically just there to say something cringe or funny or say “when i was a demon--” before being shunted to the back again so the Most Important People could talk. Season 3 Anya was cunning, acerbic, clever, knew the basics of how things work in the mortal world and I’m sorry-- I know it’s very important to many people but I hate her monologue in The Body. I just HATE it.

She’s been killing people for over a thousand years. She knows what death is and how it works. She knows it means this person will never eat eggs a-fucking-gain sHE KNOWS THIS!!!!! Now if this was about the emotionalness of that loss-- of being the one to actually do the losing I wouldn’t hate it!!! That actually tracks. Anyanka is basically immortal and likely as never had a single person she truly cared about die in that time. It would make sense if she understands that Joyce is dead but doesn’t know how to react to that or process it. Loss is a thing she inflicts, it’s not done to her. She wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

Also she doesn’t give a stupid fucking speech about running away that makes NO sense and just TELLS YOU SHE’S GONNA DIE with a fucking FOGHORN and then DIES POINTLESSLY IN THE FINALE. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

#anyanka (train's version)#answered #excited to talk more about my brain versions of people lol #i'm touched people even want to read these honestly NONE of them are short rip

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thetaylorfiles · 1 year ago

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Does your friend want to trade husbands? Mine is useless TS connection wise lmao You're winning the six degrees of separation game! Although you did have a friend who went on a date with Taylor years ago right? It's just a matter of time now before you run into her at a party or something. Girl, I'm here manifesting that for you!

This post is brought to you by my first dose of Concerta. I was recently-ish diagnosed (by a doctor) that I have HDHD. I tried another one that didn’t work and now I’m trying this. Today is my first day and, I must state that I had an espresso when I normally don’t, but I’m in the mood to organize, so things, and my mind feels clearer. It’s got to be placebo affect or the coffee but I’ll take it! Anyway this’ll be far too long I’m sure. (Oh hey, now you get why I’m so obsessed with t swift! Kaylor began as a special interest and thankfully, by the time I stopped believing, I was hooked on her music and personality. Oh my god what was my point? Okay, clearly adhd not cured! 😂 um it’s long? Don’t read if you don’t want?

——-

Answer:

Yes, but that doesn’t count as an actual TS encounter. And now that I’m Very Old, if I attempt to make that happen via any connections, it would be to get my daughter anything personal or signed from her or just anything as long as it focused on her.

I introduced her to Taylor slowly over the years. And now she’s obsessed. But in a 10 year old way. She doesn’t know much if folklore or evermore unless it’s exile because Mom was so fucking obsessed with it she had no choice to listen and assume I’m right that it’s best ever. She knows that hits and the deep cuts I make her listen to.

My love language is giving gifts. I hate getting them unless I’m so comfortable I’m married to you or you’re my child and you’ve written something. Ha. So I give her tons of makeup and what not. But I found my 4 lover books with the diary entries and the posters and left them out. She sheepishly inquired if she could look at them all…? I said, “they’re yours.”

There was a point. Oh, don’t forget the perimenopause. And the cannabis. That really contributes to being forgetful. Why am I writing so much?!?

Oh!!! Yeah, I was close friends with a guy that was a working actor and still is. He’s not recognizable by name unless you know actors really well. He’s a character actor that books all sorts of series and guest spots but always as a friend. He’s super hot. Well he was back in his 20s. He told us that he was daring her. We made fun of him (She wasn’t cool the ), but more just to annoy HIM. He wasn’t super super smart but he was so sweet but still had that bad boy swagger. You know? He was like a brother to me but I get whey women hit on him.

So back in early twenties he dates her for … I wanna say a few months. She didn’t live here on LA at the time as far as I knew but came out often. Maybe she had another house? Anyway, they were more friends who were attracted to one another who met up when both were in town. Only one of our group met her, his best friend. All we heard was that she was nice and far from a boring good southern girl. That she seemed like a city girl. Anyway, they hooked up off and on. They never went anywhere together as they weren’t together. They were each others last night call after date one and two failed to produce the necessary love spark. But they were both stupid hot.

That’s all I know. I never met her or saw pics. No wait. I did. I saw one of them together at her place wherever she stayed then. Why did I explain that? Please tell me you asked me to! I’m sorry. I’m so high and wanting to talk and like make and complete goals!! 🤣🤣🤣 k, night. Gotta watch some tv downstairs once kids have vanished. Shhh

I have a feeling I didn’t answer a single one of your questions, nor did I speak to whatever you wrote about. I apologize. If you were in person you’d love me. When I get high (vapes), it makes me so much damn more pleasant!

Oh my god. Go to sleep!! (Bethenny voice on Scary Island) I’m referring to myself by the way. K, night. Tv time.

#i’m going to regret this #these rumblings are unhinged I fear #go easy on me

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sinkingwmyships · 17 days ago

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my musings on touch-starved Dick Grayson and Jason Todd (which got out of hand fast). enjoy :) cw: injuries (mild/minor & non-graphic); physical touch (obviously). they also complete a mission tgt. sprinkles of batdad bc i can.

consider: touch-starved Dick Grayson and Jason Todd (but if you're seeing this post i bet you've considered that before *bombastic side-eye*)

neither of them think that about themselves, that is if they even believe in the concept at all—until Dick claps Jason on the shoulder once and Jason jolts, not from surprise or pain or anything, but from the foreignness of the touch, so friendly and easy, something neither he nor his body remembers the last time they've felt. but he must have looked at Dick weird (read: annoyed or angry or something), because Dick swiftly retreats with a mumbled apology and hands held up and out, his gesture of surrender.

after that, Dick doesn't really want to risk crossing his brother's boundaries again—but when he opens his door to Jason halting mid-step, alarm on his face as if he's thirteen again and Dick has caught him sneaking out to patrol even though his homework isn't done, again... well, Dick's got to say something.

"what's up?" he asks cautiously.

turns out Jason needs help with taping his fingers because "don't wanna bother Alfred" and "the old man would probably be overjoyed now that i can't shoot properly" ("that's not true, Jason, an injury's an injury," Dick sighs), so Dick is his last resort. last, final, forget about it because it's never going to happen again. but, he sits down patient and calm while Dick scours his room for some tape (you'd think an athlete would be more prepared)—and again, while Dick winds thin, sticky strips around his fingers. Jason's hands resemble Bruce's, in their stockiness and warmth, with their countless scars and calluses, ghastly pale from being encased in their gloves all the time. his fingers twitch against Dick's, involuntary; there is something comforting about a solid sensation within his touch. Dick checks the tape two, three times over; Jason's fingers are still outstretched by the time he's finished putting the tape away and turned back around.

then Dick makes the blunder of asking "anything else?", and Jason huffs in lieu of reminding him he's not thirteen anymore, before withdrawing and vacating his room in all of two seconds.

Jason's fingers make a swift recovery. the next time they meet, it's gunfire that has drawn Nightwing to his location.

"d'i miss something?" he greets, swooping in grandly then landing by Red Hood's side upon the warehouse catwalk so soundlessly, it's as if he's nothing more than a passing shadow. he can't perceive the eye roll under the, well, red hood.

"only three factories' worth of child labor and the goons manning them." Hood discards his empty magazine then reloads. "don't worry; i didn't miss. c'mon." he starts walking away before Nightwing can comment on what he's said; still, he can feel the bat's gaze nearly puncturing the back of his helmet.

"where're we going?" Nightwing calls after him. "looks to me like you and your people got it under control."

Red Hood shakes his head. "some of the supervisors scurried in here before we could get 'em." he cocks his gun sharply. "i closed all the ground exits. what say we do a little hunting?"

"Hood...."

"figure of speech, man." he easily brushes his brother's scowl off, before gesturing for him to follow. a flick of the chin and Nightwing understands they're down there.

they venture away from Nightwing's entry point into the darkness. the building's creaks and heaves mask their footsteps, while shadows fall around them like folds of a heavy cape. cutting the lights means his opponents won't be able to see, but with how deep the night is, Red Hood can't make out jack shit, either. the only reason he knows his gun's still in his hands is because he can feel its weight and shape—the same reason he knows his brother is still beside him, from the press of Nightwing's back against his, steady, reassuring, almost warm even through their armor. Red Hood shouldn't get used to it, shouldn't stop watching his back just because it's available this one time; but already the figurative weight on his shoulders has lessened by half.

and then, the touch vanishes.

"'Wing?" he calls fast as a reflex. fuck; Red Hood doesn't know what bothers him worse, that he reacted so immediately, or that his brother is nowhere to be felt (god, that sounds weird). but his split-second of alarm subsides when a foot bumps against his firmly.

"here." Nightwing leans on him again. is that the rhythm of his breath, or Hood's own? "i thought i saw—"

something knocks Red Hood's head back, as jarring as a brother's flick to his forehead. he shoves Nightwing down before returning fire, picturing viscerally the bullet-sized dent on his helmet. if that had been Nightwing—

he feels a lithe form slide by his legs through the railings and down.

fuck! he should have grabbed him—if only he can see! fuck! Red Hood's eyes sweep frantically over the murky shadows below. a flash of blue, a spray of yellow— there! the yellow dies after he takes his shot. fucking Dickwing—he's a good marksman, but this is pushing it!

"DON'T!" and the idiot still has the compassion to plead for his opponents' lives. god, Red Hood should've just told him to piss off the moment he showed up.

still, he yells, "NON-LETHAL!" before scrambling down the catwalk as a dozen bullets zip through the space he was occupying just a moment prior. compromising his position over something so trivial... unbelievable. Red Hood channels all his frustration into his next shot—hears the thud of body hitting floor, before many others of fist hitting body, knees hitting body, escrima hitting body (maybe there are worse fates than just plain getting killed, though they'd never take him seriously)... until a final crak of face hitting floor (what did he say?) sounds out, and then all falls quiet for a moment, the sound of his own breathing within the helmet all Red Hood can hear.

"that was good!" Nightwing sounds like he's praising a three-year-old's arts and crafts project. "nobody had to get lethally injured!" Red Hood groans and drops down on the catwalk heavily. "and didn't we make a good—"

the catwalk breaks apart where it was shot at, and Red Hood can only hang on as god-knows-how-many-pounds of metal plus himself comes swinging down right at his brother.

...

Dick doesn't dare open his eyes for a moment, for fear of finding himself nothing more than a pulp on the floor.

what were the chances? didn't get shot, didn't get hit, didn't even trip once. hell, he trusts Jason, but he's pretty damn sure the chances of being hit by one of his non-lethal rounds were way higher than... whatever the hell just happened!

he's still conscious, at least, but he fears what physical state he's going to discover himself in. he can wiggle his toes fine— wait, he's not in his boots. already got medical attention? he can't be at the batcave—Jason knows its location but Dick highly doubts he'd willingly go there, especially accompanied by Dick in this condition; same with reaching out to anyone that might've been in the area. but this place doesn't smell or sound like a hospital. if Dick breathes deeply, he can make out a homey rather than industrial scent of detergent; and the occasional footsteps and conversations outside are much too clear-sounding for him to be behind the doors of a hospital room.

he cracks his eyes open. thank goodness it's dim; his head is beginning to hurt already, probably a concussion (he'd still consider himself lucky if he got away with just that). he's tucked snugly into a couch, a cozy, almost cramped fit, with a pillow wedged into the gap between his shoulder blades and the seat, a blanket or two on top of him, and his legs extending across Jason's lap to dangle over the couch's edge on the opposite side. Jason himself looks fast asleep, head lolled back onto the cushions, lax arms draped across Dick's legs where a book is also lying, open and face-down. he seems quite comfortable given... everything (well, to be fair, it wasn't him whose brother tried to squish like a bug). this must be one of Jason's safehouses, then? and for some reason, probably that they are still pretty much in their full, dirtied gear, he's put them into this arrangement on the couch?

his head throbs again, so Dick just gives up and closes his eyes. this beats the floor of some random warehouse for sure—it's warm, it's soft, and it feels surprisingly pleasant to have his legs across Jason's lap and the weight of his brother's arms upon them somehow. it's soothing, like the way sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with his siblings or teammates is. it's reassuring, like the way Bruce would pat his arm or (rarer now) his head is. it's safe, like the way his and Jason's backs against each other's in the warehouse is, the calmness of his fingers in Dick's hands is, the impulse that got Dick to clap his brother on the shoulder is. he's missed it. he's needed this.

after this night... i imagine they're a lot less awkward about, and a lot more open to, physical contact. leaning against each other; using the other as a head/arm/leg-rest; huddling for warmth; physically pushing/smacking/moving the other away instead of just saying "fuck off;" evolution from shoulder/back clap to fist bump/high five/handshake to hug when celebrating/congratulating; actual long, substantial, gratifying hugs.... this can also definitely branch off into fighting with their feet under the table until Alfred has to raise his voice at them. but goodness, just- casual physical contact, man. and slowly doing away with their own and each other's touch starvation. eventually they aren't drawn to physical touch out of need anymore, but at that point it's just become habit—and it's a darn comfy, calming, convenient habit, what's not to like? w.

(also- Bruce would like to pat his children's heads more but they're all rapidly outgrowing him-)

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