#but i understand how the framing of the episode might have triggered people

[apaethy]

@tayz-rideordie​ i see that, personally i also thought the scene went on too long. it didn’t need to be so dragged out. but lets also look at how the last seven years played out.

louis himself said that he riled up lestat on purpose. he egged him on until he got angry and he left. and when he didnt do that he literally just ignored him to look for claudia. this went on for seven years, and lestat still trying to bring louis out of this trance. if we need to use the word abuse, this was emotional abuse. so we are once again at the point, where and the end of the episode they lashed out in their own unhealthy coping mechanism.

we will have to see how it plays out in the next two episodes. how louis reacts to it in the past AND how he reframes it in the present. 

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Wow, this episode of Two Worlds. I wish more people were watching, because it's doing some interesting things. (Though it is intense & violent at times, for those who don't have the bandwidth for such right now, totally understandable).

I'm particularly fascinated with what they're doing around Tai. Because he is getting some heroic framing, yes, but at the same time they are making it pretty clear that he is not a standard "good" guy. Especially after this episode.

He swaps one man about to be murdered for another, with zero concern. And yes, this is the son of the "big boss" so presumably not a bastion of moral goodness himself, but what's interesting is that the show takes no time to establish that for us. He could be a horrible person, he could read to blind orphans in his spare time, they don't specify. And that feels deliberate to me, to avoid making Tai's choices always on the side of "good". He is supposed to be a gray character.

He's soft and emotional under his hard exterior, is utterly whipped for Kram, and he doesn't enjoy killing. He is unable to pull the trigger on Por. But he also doesn't hesitate when he feels it's called for, or when he has no emotional attachment, like when he John Wicks his way through his father's men after his Kram's death, or when he sets up Por through the execution of a bound and helpless man.

And this really makes me think of the Tai from our Kram's original world, and how the two characters are connected, and how it might play out through the series. @laurenkmyers has a great post here reflecting on what the difference is between the two. Love with Kram, yes, but is there more, or is this a matter of perspective and framing?

We know Tai was responsible for Kram's mother's death in some way in the original world (I don't remember them clearly showing it, so there's still a bit of ambiguity around what actually happened). But from that day on Kram saw Tai as a figure to be terrified of, and the scar is a symbol of that. But what is actually there under the surface? The framing of their interactions in the original world made a big deal of their moments in the same space. Was it just foreshadowing for Kram's experiences in the parallel world, or something more?

I have absolutely no idea where we will go in this show, but there is a part of me that feels like we have to return to the origin world at some point. We're only halfway through the series. The direct antagonists are mostly dead. (Phupha's story is still confusing, but I don't know how much we're expected to care at this point).

And we have the setup where we know people can have memories from their self in the other world, we know Kram understands Tai and his background at a much deeper level, and he's inclined to want to help the version of the man he loves in the universe that he is currently in.

It would be devastating to see this Tai lose his Kram again. But I'm also so damn curious to see what Kram in his original world would mean for dark Tai.

[tater-tot-jr]

I think I should put in my two cents considering the Hazbin hotel leaked Angel Dust clip. I’ll say that this post should be one absolutely massive trigger warning. If you’re sensitive please don’t read this, I’m pretty blunt. Also I’m only talking about a small leak but SPOILERS!!!

So before I make any points I’ll start by saying that I’m not an inherent fan of vivziepop, this isn’t meat riding, it’s a genuine attempt at open conversation and discussion. I’ll also say I’m a survivor myself and while I don’t claim to speak for anyone else I have some ground to stand on here. I completely understand that people can be triggered by this type of imagery and will at least skip this particular scene or episode, I promise I’m not talking about you guys.

You wanna know who I am talking about though? The weird ass moral police I’ve been watching mobilize. It’s crazy how people are making a big deal out of this. I’ve seen three arguments and all of them are terrible in themselves and being used to justify terrible behavior.

I’ve only seen people claim three major things, this is a bad depiction of a s/a survivor and situation, this is something that’s too graphic and immoral to put in a TV show, the fact that the singing and dancing lightens the tone in a way people find distasteful. I’m going to be trying to prove why I find these arguments mostly ridiculous and unfounded.

As for argument one, s/a survivors come in all shapes and sizes and hyper sexuality happens to be an incredibly common reaction to sexual trauma. I haven’t watched episode one and two but even if I had I’d still have too small of a sample size to determine the entire tone of an incredibly messed up complex dynamic between too incredibly interesting and layered characters. It’s ridiculous to have so many assumptions and expectations of an *11 second leaked clip.*

Secondly. Creative freedom is possible the most important thing in art. If we didn’t have the freedom to put what we wanted on paper or on screen then we wouldn’t have had so much societal change recently. Just because you might find something distasteful and immoral doesn’t mean it absolutely has to be hated on and removed. It’s okay to not like things because you find them gross, it’s okay to not enjoy graphic depictions of serious subjects, it’s not okay to start internet wars over moral bullshit. It’s okay to be mad in silence sometimes, guys.

Thirdly. I kinda get this one, I don’t agree with it but I do understand the point. The idea you don’t want a serious subject framed with a sexy pop song is not inherently bad, it’s just something that makes me think you wouldn’t have liked Hazbin Hotel anyway. I actually appreciate the fact they are using the creative medium to make bold and shocking decisions but I get some people are sensitive to new things, that’s fine. Where this argument gets ridiculous is when people act like this is very out of line for a show like this. This isn’t a Saturday morning kids cartoon it’s and adult animated show about people in hell. It’s highly likely that this won’t be the worst thing we see, you either need to heed the trigger warnings at the beginning of each episode or get over it.

You’ll notice that I didn’t bring up anything about the merchandise pins or the storyboard artist, I did this because they aren’t arguments but barely related attempts at character assassinations. When you spend five minutes thinking about them critically you come to realize that there is nothing substantial to those arguments.

I’d like to finish up talking about how I think this scene is doing more good than harm. It’s important to make people uncomfortable when you’re talking about things so horrible like s/a and rape. It shouldn’t be meek and palatable for a general audience, it should upset you. I remember hearing something in a video game once that stuck with me. There was a character who said that when you’re sick you need strong medicine and that the strongest medication is very bitter.

I think episode four will be some very bitter medicine.

[kamreadsandrecs]

Title: Between Two Fires

Author: Christopher Buehlman

Genre/s: horror, historical

Content/Trigger Warning/s: body horror, depictions of the Black Plague and its effects on people and society

Summary (from author's website): The year is 1348. The Black Death ravages France, leaving fields and rivers choked with unburied dead and causing whole towns to disappear. Thomas, a disgraced knight, roams the land with a band of thieves, living by the sword; when they encounter an orphaned girl in a dying village, Thomas has just enough humanity in him to save her from his colleagues. No ordinary child, this girl sees angels and talks to the dead. She tells Thomas that Lucifer and the fallen angels have risen in a new war on Heaven, that the kingdoms of men have fallen behind the lines of battle, and that he must now shepherd her on a holy quest to tip the scales in favor of good. Between Two Fires invites you on a journey that is at once a fool’s errand into great danger, and a violent man’s first, uncertain steps toward redemption.

Buy Here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/between-two-fires-christopher-buehlman/15286104

Spoiler-Free Review: GodsDAMN this was good! Strange in parts but GOOD!

This is really interesting to read given the way the world is right now - not least because we’re still not quite out from under the shadow of the COVID-19 pandemic (not that it really ended). While the portrayal of the Black Death in this book might read a bit more grotesque than might seem realistically possible, I think the exaggeration is meant to capture how it felt to be caught in the moment of the plague. It’s easy to forget how far we’ve come in terms of our understanding of science and medicine, compared to the medieval period. (This just makes it even MORE annoying that anti-vaxxers exist; all that advancement, and for what?)

It’s also interesting how the novel doesn’t start out as supernatural at all, or at least doesn’t give that impression. Initially I thought the hints of supernatural activity were more a representation of the worldview of people from that specific historical period, but it soon became VERY clear that the supernatural was indeed at work, and it is very definitely nightmarish. The author certainly knows how to create truly horrific monsters, setting up encounters in an episodic manner as the characters travel towards Avignon. Two in particular stand out: the first monster in the river, and the monsters in Paris.

Speaking of the characters, I think they are the heart of this novel, moving it forward as much as they themselves are moved by the plot. They share echoes with other, similar characters from the Canterbury Tales and the Decameron, but especially the latter, since the Decameron’s frame story is about a group of people fleeing the Black Death in Italy. But they’re also well-drawn characters in their own right, as opposed to roughly-drawn sketches; Thomas of Givras, in particular, is a standout, and the young girl who accompanies him will quickly bring Joan of Arc to mind, while also being entirely unique in her own way.

As for the overall structure of the plot, it shares some parallels with the Arthurian questing tales, and even to literature from later periods like Paradise Lost, the Divine Comedy, and Pilgrim’s Progress. It’s clear the author’s drawing from a deep literary well here, and those who’ve read those works will be rewarded by finding their dark shadows in this novel. Readers who are expecting something more straightforward might find this novel a bit slow, but readers who enjoy a slower burn will not find this a problem.

One of the most visible themes a reader might be able to uncover in this novel is how difficult it is to do the right thing, especially when one’s own survival is at stake. The world got (continues to get) a glimpse of how this works in real time during the recent (ongoing) pandemic, and this book, published in 2012, makes it clear just what people are willing to do - and what they’re willing to ignore - when survival, or personal comfort, for that matter, is at stake. But this book makes clear that, even when conditions are harsh, it is still possible to be good, to be kind, to be generous. It won’t be EASY, but being good and kind and generous when the world is harsh and deadly is not just possible, it is absolutely necessary.

But what if one can’t do any of that? We are all only human, after all; when crisis hits, survival is top of mind. Surely one can be forgiven for not being as good and kind and generous as one would normally be in times of safety and plenty? Surely one can be forgiven for not having the strength of will to continue to be good in the midst of extraordinary hardship? And this book says: yes, yes one can be forgiven for such things, and maybe even worse besides (there’s a scene towards the end of the book that, in my opinion, drives this point home). Forgiveness is a vital theme in this novel: both being a giver of, and recipient thereof. It’s hard forgiving others, of course, and the way this book goes, that forgiveness definitely has to be earned. But it’s just as hard accepting forgiveness too - especially when one is convinced that one does not deserve it. Forgiving is hard, but accepting it can be just as hard.

Overall, this is a horror novel that definitely has many scary moments, but those moments hide a core of gentleness that shines through via the characters and their interactions with each other and the world they inhabit. Some readers might not take well to the story’s slower pace compared to other novels in the same genre, but the pace enhances both the horror and the characters’ development in very good way.

Rating: five sorrel leaves

[smile-files]

hey! this isn’t an easy discussion but as a fan of inanimate insanity i think it’s very important to have - and i’m wondering about all of this completely seriously and sincerely, as someone who genuinely wants to understand.

i’ve seen yin & yang and paper & evil paper interpreted as DID systems. i am not part of a system, and don’t have personal experience with DID, and so can’t fully judge for myself whether these interpretations are okay - i of course have opinions on these interpretations, but i can’t just base my perspective on my opinions alone. that wouldn’t be right.

to begin with, i think the main reason why people think yin & yang and paper & evil paper are systems is because both collectives are multiple entities sharing the same body. there are differences in how this is portrayed between the two, though.

yin and yang share a body, but the body has a clear distinction between the both of them (the black half and the white half), which could imply that it’s more of a conjoined twin situation? regardless, the system interpretation is one i’ve often seen. there are things i’m wondering about though; there was the episode in which yin and yang are separated, but in the end it’s concluded that it’s best for everyone if they continue to share a body. no matter how i interpret yin and yang in relation to one another, i can’t really tell what to make of this. if they are parts of a system, what would that be saying about them? again, i don’t have personal experience being in a system, so i don’t know what it’s like being in one and interacting with headmates. 

paper and evil paper is a strange case, as on the ii wiki, evil paper is specifically described as paper’s alter, which suggests that this might be the most widely accepted interpretation, or perhaps the original intention with the character? but i don’t know. this is just me, but i’m hesitant to associate paper/evil paper with DID just because it reeks of ableist stigma to me. like having an evil split personality, like dr jekyll and mr hyde. it isn’t my place to take offense of course, i’m just cautious to say evil paper is paper’s alter or be okay with that if that interpretation seems just like the dehumanizing, fearmongering DID tropes commonly seen in media. in addition, paper being triggered by mentions of idiotic island is framed as a joke and such is clearly a jab at people with PTSD, so i wouldn’t put it past ii season 1 to take a jab at systems as well - especially as paper’s trauma on idiotic island is the circumstance of evil paper’s existence. just on a surface level i could see why people would interpret them this way, but i don’t know if beyond that it’s really okay. i suppose a further question to ask is... is evil leafy leafy’s alter? and what are we really saying if all of these alters are specifically “evil + character name���? 

i enjoy yin and yang and paper as characters but i guess it’s just hard for me to know how to engage with them beyond that (especially evil paper). of course, if you are part of a system, you have no obligation to say how these interpretations make you feel! if you can and want to, however, i’d be more than happy to hear what you have to say. there is a chance that one or more of the characters i’ve mentioned were written to have DID, but weren’t written with much care (if any at all), meaning that their portrayals are more than worthy of criticism; i am more than willing to accept this is if it is the case, as ii certainly has an ableist past (using the r-slur in season 1, and joking about triggers as i’ve mentioned before; and even if ii was otherwise clear of charges, this instance regarding DID would still be worthy of criticism). 

thank you so much for reading through! 

[outofcontexttokusatsu]

I'll make this its own post to keep the dash at least readable but it just reminds me highly of Saber in every single worst possible way.

The first episode legitimately gave me a headache with how there was always a thousand things on screen at once and everything was constantly moving around. It's like there was simultaneously too many things happening and yet nothing happening. Other than a clunky minute long infodump we get very poorly introduced to the cast with almost nothing to really clue you in on what each character is like beyond assumptions based on their aesthetics. The only character who has any real screentime is Gira (Red) and I won't say he's bad but he just has no real direction beyond "hyper screaming".

I know this screenshot might seem like cherrypicking but it was legit the only frame I could find where it was still, but just look at this! Why is this so unnecessarily elaborate and detailed? Why is everything so brightly lit yet the characters are barely lit? Why the hell is the camera pointed at the fucking ceiling in the corner when the focal point SHOULD be the characters who are squashed down to the bottom and barely viewable because everyone's lit in fucking orange and they all blend in! It'd be one thing for the camera angle but the characters are so far away and out of the center of the screen you can barely tell where they are!

And almost every scene is like this! I could barely tell what was happening half the time. Every single set is a horribly over designed and distracting CG nightmare landscape beyond a small few scenes (which actually looked really good) and there's a great big deal of absolutely nothing significant going on beyond Red's argument with the king guy there, and that was a painfully generic "I'm an asshole because I'm the king and I can be an asshole" kind of speech. It's really been a while since a Sentai had such an generally unpleasant opener and I just cannot understand where people are saying it was good come from, unless their brains are so fried that the overload of stimulation just immediately triggers a "good" response regardless. (Disclaimer: this is not a directed attack at anyone please do not get angry at me)

Like look I'll still probably keep going until I either have a aneurysm or I get too fed up to keep at it but this was a generally unpleasant watching experience and I do not foresee it improving in any way. I dunno where this cope of "YEAH BUT DONBROS" or people saying the first episodes are always bad because like I can't think of the last time a Sentai had a bad first episode but ended up turning around except like, MAYBE ToQger? It barely establishes the characters, the plot is just kind of haphazardly thrown around, the entire show is just very poorly shot on a base filmmaking level, the overuse of CG with no real coherent or consistent style is nauseating and it just REEKS of Omori pushing his bizarre ideas onto the show already and I don't feel like sticking around for the 4th time dealing with him.

Even the changes were boring! How do you do that? How do you make a boring change sequence!!!

[ordinaryschmuck]

Once again, I want to point out that spoilers don't ruin the story, they ruin the experience.

A story likely won't be ruined by a good twist or surprise. Heck, it's what makes the story strong as you see all the ways the writers cleverly led up to that twist.

The only thing being cheated out of by a spoiler is the experience. To see a story with fresh eyes and getting to witness all these big moments WITH the characters. Some people might not get that, which is fine. Some either want to know if there are any triggers in it that studios neglected or if what they're trying to get invested in is FULLY worth it. There's some logic there...I don't get that logic aside from the triggers thing, but I can admit that there's logic. The problem is that most people don't want to know all the juicy details unless they experience them themselves for the first time. The experience is far more important than the story, at least on an initial viewing, and if it's good enough they would want to rewatch it again to see how well the story holds up. And nine times out of ten, the story holds up REALLY WELL. If you want spoilers, there are circles online where people can TALK about them, or sections to posts and videos that have a cut off to discuss spoilers, all to keep the experience safe.

Now, to be fair, there ARE some people in Spoiler Culture who need to relax about what counts as a spoiler. A character saying a randomly funny line doesn't ruin the experience and knowing the GENERAL PLOT of the story isn't a spoiler either. Not to mention that there's a usual time-frame in regards to spoilers and when it's considered okay to talk about them.

If it's an episode of a TV Show, it's fine to mention spoilers a WEEK after an episode's premier. Because if you couldn't watch an episode within a week before the NEXT one comes out, it's kind of on YOU at that point.

In regards to a movie, it's safe to wait about three weeks after it came to theaters. Not everyone can afford to watch the movie the day of it comes out, or even the first week. Some actually have to save their money, wait for a day off from work, or organize a perfect time to go with friends or family. Some might not even get those three weeks, but if you're a person who still wanted to watch the movie AND went online to see people talk about it, it's still kind of on you.

And that's another thing both sides of Anti-Spoilers and Pro-Spoilers need to agree on: The understanding of communication. If you want to talk about spoilers, then at least tag posts or mention as soon as you can that there will be spoilers, regardless of how major or minor. And if you want to avoid spoilers, then what the hell are you doing online? Specifically, what are you doing online within the same circles of people who are talking about this thing you want to see with fresh eyes? If you want to avoid spoilers, then avoid these conversations entirely until you've experienced the story yourself.

What I'm getting at is that, no, spoilers don't ruin the story. They ruin the experience for people who want to go in blind, but those same people need to get priorities straight over what counts as a spoiler and need to learn when it's okay to talk about spoilers.

[renon4224]

Angel Wings

Chapter Three: Saturday, in the dorms, evening

After a rather uneventful walk, she went to her room and closed the door. After about 20 minutes, everyone else was coming back, so I went outside. Better to stay away than have to deal with them.

“Hey Bakugou, wait up.” Kirishima grabbed my shoulder.

“Go away.” I shrugged him off.

“So, you and Akari looked pretty cozy earlier.” 

“Shut up.” Cozy is not what happened.

“Oh come on, just admit you like her already.”

“No, I don’t.” I just don't want her to get hurt.

“If you don’t make a move Kaminari will,” He gave me a look, “See,” He pointed to my hands, which were clenched, so I flexed them, “Just admit you don’t want that to happen.”

“I don’t,” Akari walked into the room, going straight for the sliding doors where we were, “Care, it’s her life.” I turned around, hoping to make it out before Kirishima noticed I was lying through my teeth.

-Akari Aizawa-

“Hey, Lady Aizawa?” It was Denki Kaminari.

“Yeah?” I fingered the knife hidden under my shirt.

“Will you go out with me?” He said it so calmly.

“Huh?” Kyoka Jiro coughed, and I just looked at him.

“Please?” He looked so nice, but I didn’t understand why he wanted to ask me out.

“Why me?”

“Because why not?” I bit my lip and looked around, was nobody even gonna comment on this, no one gonna tell him to knock it off? 

“She doesn’t want to go out with you, give it up Denki.” Jiro saved me.

I sighed a breath of relief, after Kaminari walked away, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” She left.

-Katsuki Bakugou, 10 minutes later-

“He did it.” Kirishima said, leaning on the door frame, “Thought you might like to know.”

I did, even if I didn’t want to admit it, “I told you, I don’t care,” 

“She didn’t say yes.” Kirishima was looking for a reaction.

“Go away.”

“You like her, admit it and I’ll go away.” 

“I don’t like her being here, I never have, she’s someone that Mr. Aizawa is forcing me to deal with, she’s annoying, has no idea what personal space is, and anytime anything happens she starts crying, there is no way I could ever like having such a little girl here.” 

-Akari Aizawa-

I stepped out of my room, just to hear that? I just looked at him, if he hated me that much, why did he put up with me? He could’ve easily just ditched me the second Uncle wasn’t looking. I looked away and turned to leave.

“Wait, Akari, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that-”

How does he know my name? Never mind that “You didn’t mean to say you hate me? How is that any better? You still hate me right? You still wish I wasn’t here, right?” I took a breath.

“Not exactly-”

“What do you MEAN? I see the way you glare at me, and Shouta for letting me join his class, you wish I wasn’t here right? Say it to my face this time, tell me just how much you wish I wasn’t here.”

“I don’t glare at you-”

“Oh yeah, sorry, I MEANT that you can’t even stand to look at me, I’m such a thorn. So go on, tell me how much you hate my presence.”

-Katsuki Bakugou-

She was right about two things, I hate that she’s here, and I don’t try to look at her. “I hate that instead of keeping you safe after being released from the hospital, they kept you here, they put you into the most dangerous class, and I hate everything I know about you, I hate that there are some things I just can’t admit because of you. I hate how you always seem to hear everything I wish you wouldn’t and how you are stuck in the past. I hate how afraid you are of me, how every time I walk into the room, you flinch or back away. I hate how I seem to be the trigger for your episodes, how every time I’m near you, you always break down. I hate how every time I help you, you forget. I hate how only two people visited you in the hospital, I hate that I was one of them, I couldn’t move and I made sure you made it out of the episodes without killing yourself. I hate how you never eat anything, I hate how you only give yourself the bare minimum out of fear for someone who isn’t here, I hate you always say ‘sorry’, I hate what he did to you, making you so afraid of everyone and everything that if you make a single mistake, you try to make certain that the other person is completely happy. I hate how you never think about yourself, only thinking of how to keep everyone else happy. I hate that when you were seven years old, he sent someone to hurt you, and what that person did can never be erased, I hate how he made that scar on your right arm, the one caused by someone who didn’t care what happened as long as you were alive, I hate how you suffered. I hate that I had to watch you scream that last night, I hate how nobody was guarding you, because they ALL knew that you leaving would hurt you so much that you never even tried to escape, I despise everyone who watched or took part in your pain, because they never did anything to help you. I hate that you don’t remember anything from that night, I hate how you weigh almost nothing and you’ve been out of there for three months, I hate how I can still feel the touch of your icy fingertips, I hate how you can never just let go and be okay with what happened, I hate that you can’t even touch someone without fearing them lashing out. I hate that you are afraid of yourself, I hate that you don’t even know what your quirk is. I hate that some part of you still wants to be tortured because that’s the only thing you know.” The last part I whispered in her ear, I had grabbed her hand and pulled her close, she needed to know exactly what I hate about her.

By now, I think everyone in our class was here, trying to look and see what the fuss was about. Akari was looking at me, her eyes were huge, she was backing away from me, she hit the wall of her door. “You don’t know me, we haven’t even met until six days ago,” Her voice was small, she was scared, she was trying to remember the night she was saved, “You don’t smell like caramel.” Everyone let out a chuckle, I felt the blood rise to my cheeks, that was what she remembered? “You haven’t even seen me have an episode.”

“Who do you think carried you to Mr. Aizawa yesterday?” My voice was small, admitting this could change the way she looks at me forever.

“Someone who smelled like caramel, you aren’t that person.” She was trying so hard not to see me and her saviour as the same person, I can’t blame her.

“Actually, he does,” Uraraka piped, wait, how does she know what I smell like?

“No! No, no, no…” She sank to her knees, hands holding her head, she looked the same as she did when I found her yesterday.

-Akari Aizawa-

Bakugou saved me? But how? He’s so so so ... .mean. Does he really think I enjoy being tortured? Wait, where did everyone go? I looked around, the world had a wishy-washy look to it, all of a sudden I was pulled into a pitch-black space, I couldn’t see anything. Then a bright silhouette came walking towards me, it was All for One, but when he got closer it was….Bakugou, and he…….hugged me? 

His hands held me so tight I stopped being able to breathe, “Baku..gou, you’re….hurting me.”

“I know,” It was just a whisper but, he said it, and he started crushing me.

“Please, stop.”

-Katsuki Bakugou-

“Please, stop.” She was still on the floor, her quirk had pushed everyone else away.

“Go get Mr. Aizawa, NOW!” I yelled at no one in particular. She had done this once before, and I had a scar because of it. She just needs to push through it.

“You’re hurting me, stop.” 

She sent out a flash, her wings barely grazing my shoulder, “Ahh,” I gasped in pain, this pain was so much worse than last time, last time she wasn’t aiming for me, “Akari, wake up! Snap out of it!” The wound healed, “What the?” Should I grab her? She would just burn me again, and forget all about it. Mr. Aizawa walked in, his quirk ready, he looked straight at her, and the pain of her wings went away, but the rest didn’t.

“What should I do?”

“Grab her, she is spiralling. If she doesn’t wake up soon she’ll overcome me and possibly blow up the place.”

“Are you kidding me?” I grabbed her and pulled her as close as I could.

Her head was resting on my shoulder, she was still muttering about the pain being too much, “Who’s hurting you?”

“Ba-Bakugou, stop, please, it hurts.” 

I’m the one hurting her? Is her episode is this severe because of me? “She wants me to leave her alone, she wants me to stop.”

“Don’t stop, she needs to know the truth.”

“Fine,” I made sure I was whispering, “I saved you that night because when you smiled, I could see you were broken, I was forced to watch videos of you being tortured, they showed me what happened on your seventh birthday. The scar you saw, that was because I wouldn’t leave without you, I was willing to stay if that meant you were safe. I know some of your deepest secrets, and I know that nothing I say or do can change them, but I don’t want to change you, I want to help you heal what they broke, I want you to see the beauty your quirk brings, I want you,” I stopped, “This isn’t working Aizawa.” 

“I can’t hold her back much longer, everyone evacuate.”

“No, she’ll die in the crash, we can’t leave her.”

“She won’t die, but you will if you don’t get out of there, right now.”

“Akari, look at me, I love you, please, don’t die on me.

-Akari Aizawa-

The messed-up Bakugou let go. The smell of caramel returned, I was being crushed, but it was a soft embrace. I still saw the messed-up Bakugou, but he couldn’t hurt me anymore. 

I stood up and looked around, “Hello? Anyone?” I called out.

“I’m here, Akari, wake up.” I turned, the normal Bakugou was there, he was holding out his hand, he looked so perfect.

“What if I hurt you?”

“Then I’ll take the pain, please, come back.”

“Akari! Don’t you dare die on him!” It was Uncle, he was there too, he wanted me to take Bakugou’s hand, wanted me to let go.

“What if you die because of me?”

“I am responsible for my own actions, not you.”

“Just wake up already.” Uncle was impatient.

----

I woke up to feel rather than see Bakugou, my head was on his shoulder, and Uraraka was right, he did smell like caramel. His arms were strong, but his voice was hoarse like he had been straining it. 

“Baku-” I was pulled back, he tilted my chin to look at him straight in the eye, and then pulled me in again, crushing me against him. His face was buried in my hair, arms around my back, he was crying, “Baku-” He cut me off by squeezing me even more, “That- hurts.” He let go, standing up, letting me breathe.

I saw that Aizawa was there, he was looking at me like I was a ghost. Everyone else was gone, and there was a ton of random stuff all over the floor.

“Did I do this?” I touched Bakugou’s arm, it had dried blood covering his forearm.

“No-”

“Yes.” Uncle was glaring at Bakugou, “You had another episode, this one was more volatile than the others, but you need to go back to the hospital, you need something to help you keep it under control, if Bakugou hadn’t insisted, you would’ve blown up the whole place.”

“Does it hurt?” He shook his head, but he winced when I touched it, “Why would you do something so stupid for someone you barely know?” I shook my head, and then I remembered something, “Better question; why would you do that for someone you hate so much, huh?” Bakugou flinched, worse than when I had touched the wound. I pushed myself up and away from him. “How dare you even think that being nice to my face would cover up the fact that you despise me?”

-Katsuki Bakugou-

She doesn’t remember, anything? Nothing about what happened? “You don’t remember?” 

“I remember plenty, but I guess even if I wasn’t completely conscious, I still remembered enough to hurt you back, guess the feeling’s mutual.” She was so upset she didn’t even notice that in her anger, she had walked into my room.

“You don’t remember the only part that mattered to me,” I whispered, but as always, she heard.

“And what part might that be?”

The part where I said ‘I love you’? “The part where I told you the truth, about everything.” I took a step towards her, she took a step back.

“Oh, and what did you lie about? Besides the fact that you hate me?” She is good at cutting deep.

“I lied about not knowing who saved you, about hating you, how long I’ve actually known you…” I let the last word trail off, I had her backed up to the window, I think she finally realised that she wasn’t in her room.

“What do you mean?” She touched her temple, it looked like it was giving her a headache.

“I smell like caramel.” I cringed, it was the only thing I could think of, it was the thing that bothered her most.

“Caramel? N-no,” She took a breath, “Oh…I guess…you do?” With that, the rest of her memories came rushing back. “Yo-you….s-”

I held her, she was still smaller than anything I’ve ever felt, her hands were cold, but I didn’t care, as long as she was there. She leaned into the embrace, for once she stopped fighting her inner monsters and just let it happen. Suddenly, I was hyper aware of how close she was, and exactly where she was. Her lips were lightly touching my bare neck, her head tilted into me, but she was crying.

@fakegingerrights @conquerius37 @sunrisemcash @wolves-write-in-moonlight @gummybugg @phosphophyy

Chapter Four

Chapter One

Chapter Two

[constructionaccounting]

562: Improving Productivity And Leadership Mentality As A Contractor

This Podcast Is Episode 562, And It's About Improving Productivity And Leadership Mentality As A Contractor

As a construction business owner, improving productivity is essential to your company's success. But you may often find yourself pulled in different directions by competing responsibilities. At some point, we all experience that.

  Classifying tasks and tackling the most time-consuming ones can feel daunting. But why is it so hard for us to start – or even finish – seemingly insignificant tasks? Why do these tiny tasks become the bane of our existence, tempting us into procrastination limbo? 

  Let's explore why we get stuck on even the most minuscule duties and how that might hold us back.

Understanding the psychology behind procrastination

Procrastination plagues many people. It's a common problem that often leaves people feeling frustrated with themselves. But what if we could understand the psychology behind procrastination and use that knowledge to overcome it? At its core, procrastination is linked to negative emotions like stress, anxiety, and fear of failure. By avoiding or delaying a task, we temporarily alleviate these unpleasant feelings. 

However, this relief is short-lived and ultimately only creates more stress. By being aware of this pattern and learning how to manage negative emotions, we can break free from the cycle of procrastination and become more productive.

Breaking down the task into small, manageable parts

When faced with a daunting task, it can feel overwhelming even to know where to start. However, the key is often found in breaking down the task into small, manageable parts. By dividing larger projects into smaller, more achievable tasks, we can focus our attention and energy on one step at a time, leading to a greater sense of progress and accomplishment. 

Whether working on an estimate on a project or a personal goal, taking a moment to map out the necessary steps and tackle them individually can make all the difference in achieving success. So next time you're feeling stuck, take a breath and ask yourself: what's the next small step I can take?

Using rewards as incentives to get started

Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of extra motivation to get things done. That's where rewards can come in handy as an incentive to get started. Whether it's a tasty treat, a fun activity, or even some well-deserved relaxation time, a reward can give you that extra push to begin tackling a task. 

Studies have shown that implementing a reward system can increase productivity and help you achieve your goals faster. So why not give it a try? Choose a reward that suits you and your task at hand, and see how much more motivated you feel to get started.

Finding out what your specific procrastination triggers are

Have you ever found yourself staring blankly at your to-do list, unable to muster the motivation to tackle any tasks? Identifying your procrastination triggers can be the key to overcoming it. Maybe certain types of tasks are more daunting to you, or you get easily distracted by social media or other forms of entertainment. Whatever it may be, pinpointing your personal procrastination triggers can help you create a strategy to combat them and finally get back on track. 

Developing a plan and timeline for success

Success isn't something that happens overnight. It requires careful planning and a well-thought-out timeline. Whether it's starting a business or working towards a personal goal, having a plan in place is essential. 

The first step in creating a successful strategy is to define your goals and establish the time frame you want to achieve them. It's crucial to take the time to map out the smaller steps needed to reach your ultimate objective and assign realistic deadlines to each of them. Along the way, it's also essential to evaluate your progress regularly and make necessary adjustments to your timeline or plan. With a clear strategy and timeline in place, success is within reach.

Planning to avoid distractions or delays

In our fast-paced world, distractions seem to lurk at every corner. The constant buzz of notifications, the temptation to check social media, and the never-ending stream of emails can quickly derail our day. The solution? Planning to avoid these distractions and any potential delays. By setting clear goals, creating a schedule, and arranging your workspace in a way that helps you focus, you can reduce the distractions that come your way and stay on track toward achieving your objectives. With some forethought and discipline, you can turn your day from one filled with distractions and delays to one of focused productivity.

Letting go of perfectionism and allowing yourself to make mistakes

Perfectionism is a trait that can drive people to do their best, but it can also become an obstacle to personal growth. The constant pressure to achieve flawlessness can lead to fear of failure and deflection, ultimately limiting your potential. Accept that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process, and they give us experience and insight that we wouldn't get otherwise. Embracing imperfection requires a shift in mindset, but by acknowledging our flaws and being willing to make mistakes, we can move forward with confidence and creativity.

How can this improve your Leadership Skills?

Construction Companies have two basic leadership styles: wait until an urgent situation occurs and react like a firefighter or develop business processes that allow the company to respond calmly and direct resources and solutions to the issues like a traffic police officer on a sunny afternoon.

Firefighter Leaders - Operate in one of three mental states:

Going into a crisis

Coming out of crises

Waiting for a crisis

Traffic Director - Leaders operate in one of four mental states:

Preparing for new projects to appear

Preventing projects from becoming an emergency

Planning for implementation of current and future projects

Empowering others and directing the flow of projects to completion and billing

The Graph Below - Is similar to the diagram shown in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Habit 3: Put First Things First, by Stephen R. Covey, to demonstrate this principle.

As illustrated in the Time Management Matrix above, we spend our time in one of four ways. This matrix defines activities as Urgent / Not Urgent / Important / Not Important. 

In conclusion

Ultimately, it is essential to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to overcoming procrastination. People are inherently different and have different needs and motivations regarding goal setting and habit formation. The key is to be patient with yourself and accept that change takes time.

By determining which tasks are the most important to you and your construction business and scheduling your day based on those criteria, you can ease the pressure caused when you have a long list of activities to take care of. If bookkeeping is on your list, call me and let me know how I can help.

PS 

We offer free resources to help you save time and money that you can download and print now. 

About The Author:

Sharie DeHart, QPA, co-founded Business Consulting And Accounting in Lynnwood, Washington. She is the leading expert in managing outsourced construction bookkeeping and accounting services companies and cash management accounting for small construction companies across the USA. She encourages Contractors and Construction Company Owners to stay current on their tax obligations and offers insights on managing the remaining cash flow to operate and grow their construction company sales and profits so they can put more money in the bank. Call 1-800-361-1770 or sharie@fasteasyaccounting.com.

Check out this episode about Contractors Marketing - Accounting - Production (M.A.P.)!

[nobodyfamousposts]

The one thing I will never understand is why people got so mad at Marinette for winning against Max. Sure, her motive was to spend time with Adrien to practice for the tournament. I feel like people are forgetting that technically Marinette had to earn that spot by beating Max. I also noticed how no one pointed out that Max was ‘reading’ codes or combinations on the game while playing and that is technically cheating. Also, it isn’t Marinette’s fault that Max was akumatized because technically he didn’t lose to just Marinette but Adrien as well.

These are just my thoughts.

That's been a valid counterargument that people have brought up about that episode. Even if Marinette's reason for joining the tournament wasn't "pure", it wasn't like anybody was actually there to compete "for the glory of their school" and it doesn't change the fact that Marinette won the contest fair and square because she was simply better at the game, which was the point of the tournament. Competitions in general are based on ability rather than personal feelings or reasons for competing. It sucks when you're the loser, but that's how it works and if Marinette didn't deserve the spot, she wouldn't have gotten it.

I think the main reason people got mad and blamed her for the whole thing was because the narrative itself was framing Marinette as the jerk in the situation for winning, even if she did it completely fairly and was the better pick for the position based on ability. It's the same sort of lesson like Annie Get Your Gun where the entire point is that while the woman was better than the guy at the specific thing they were competing over, she should have let herself lose to protect the guy's precious feelings because not upsetting the guy is supposed to be the most important thing. And in a city where anyone who gets upset will be turned into some sort of monster, that would understandably be a legitimate concern in Miraculous. But in that case, Marinette might as well just stay in her room and never go out or do anything so she doesn't risk upsetting anyone.

It's a poor lesson, but it's not far from the course with Miraculous.

On the flip side, I've heard arguments of sexism with Max specifically targeting Marinette instead of Adrien. To be fair, I would argue that Marinette may have been Max's target not because she was a girl but possibly because she was the second and final winner that bumped Max to third place instead of second. Hear me out: Psychologically speaking, even if more than one person or thing is responsible for a person getting angry, when they're tipped into a rage, they tend to zero in on the most recent trigger or the current available target. How many of you have seen someone go off on someone else when the truth was they were really mad over something entirely different that happened earlier? Or multiple upsets throughout the day that just led to an explosion at the end over something relatively simple and completely unrelated? It could arguably be sort of like that.

In Max's case, while Adrien did beat him first, he at least still had a chance to compete in the official tournament. As such, while Max may have been unhappy about the loss, it was minor for him because he would still get to play. It wasn't until he was booted out completely from competing that he had an issue, and it's fully possible that he would have been just as angry if the lineup was switched and it had been Adrien or anyone else in Marinette's place. I think this is the case as Max's attitude didn't change when Adrien gave up his spot to Marinette, indicating that Max didn't really care that a girl had beaten him so much as he cared that he'd lost the chance to play altogether.

Of course, I may just be giving Max the benefit of the doubt here. As it is, there are a few of us who noticed he DID have the codes on his glasses, so there's been some question as to whether that was something he actually did or if it was just the show trying to highlight his expertise in gaming, but given the way the show works, that doesn't seem likely.

So yeah, Max lost and he likely cheated. That's not Marinette's fault. Her only "fault" is being insensitive to a friend's feelings, but she didn't actually know just how much Max cared about the competition. Also, the bigger point is it IS a competition and someone was bound to lose. She shouldn't have been made out to be in the wrong over that, especially when she wasn't the one showing off and looking down on her opponent.

Here's the thing: Much like with Reflektdoll, I don't have an issue with Marinette apologizing because she's a good friend who seems very much the sort of person to apologize to a friend if they're upset and if she feels she has had any part in that upset, regardless of whether or not she was actually the one in the wrong. It's less of a "moral of the day says Marinette was wrong so she HAS to apologize" and more of that just being Marinette's personality where she's of course going to feel bad for upsetting a friend even if she wasn't the one who did anything wrong (Reflektdoll) or it was a legitimate win (Gamer).

The problem I have is that the episode ended with Max going to the tournament despite knowing he wouldn't get to take part and instead of either apologizing to Marinette for trying to MURDER HER or doing the sportly thing and congratulating her for her victory or cheering her on, he was acting pretty passive aggressive given his stance and body language—which clearly indicated that he was still holding a grudge and giving the impression that he was likely there to make Marinette feel bad or cheer for the school team to lose out of spite. He was pouting until Marinette tried to give him his spot back...at a point where it really didn't seem like it was any longer her call to make and even if it was, it was a pretty lousy way to for him to treat someone he'd just attacked over it. This episode was primed for a lesson on good sportsmanship, but for that to work, it really needed to be focused on Max and have him being the one to apologize for being a sore loser instead of Marinette for winning.

[tiggymalvern]

Hi. Ok do you know why Will imagines himself killing Molly (and even Alana in one scene) while taking the Red Dragon case? This never happened before with other cases, like in other seasons he slipped into killers mindsets but he never looked at people and imagined killing them. Seems like a plot point to make Will give up on his family, I wish his return to Hannibal was more organic and not just because other people were poisoned to him :/

I’m sorry it took me a while to get to answering this, Anon, I had a very busy week.

Season three wasn’t actually the first time we see Will imagining himself killing someone he cares about. Back in just episode three, he dreams of slitting Abigail’s throat, when earlier he’s been to visit her in the hospital trying to reassure her. Then he visits her house with her because she wants to go and needs to have people with her. Alana and Hannibal seem like entirely adequate emotional chaperones for that visit. There’s no need for Will to be there too, but he still goes, because he wants to help Abigail.

At that point, Will is showing the first signs of his encephalitis, waking covered in sweat, and we could perhaps attribute his imagining killing Abigail to a simple nightmare, if it wasn’t a thing that recurs again later, as you say, long after his encephalitis is cured.

So I think the question more realisitcally becomes, ‘Why does Will Graham sometimes imagine himself killing people he cares about?’ There’s never going to be a definitive answer for that, all we can do is speculate, so here I go, speculating away! I’m going to leave Hannibal out of my speculations, because Will does imagine himself killing Hannibal during the honey trap phase of season two, when we know he’s already falling in love with him, but at the same time he still hates Hannibal for framing him and having him dumped in a mental institution. The internal conflict there thoroughly muddies the waters, so I’m going to stick with Will’s visions of killing people like Abigail and Molly, people he only wants to protect.

I would say from the start that stress seems to be a triggering factor for it. Will imagines killing Abigail not long after the first time he kills someone, in the form of her father. We know from what Jack says that Will has been actively trying to avoid killing people, that he left the police because he didn’t want to use his gun. He’s long suspected that killing a person would unleash something within him, and now he’s done it. When Abigail says that she’s worried about nightmares, Will replies, ‘I’m worried about nightmares too.’ The thing that Will had been trying to avoid for at least a decade has finally happened, and he’s scared of where it will lead him. And sure enough, he’s dreaming of murder.

In the Red Dragon arc, the thing that Will has been trying to avoid for three years is Hannibal. He’s put that life behind him - he moved away, stayed out of law enforcement, married a lovely woman, and worked so hard at being ‘normal’. And then the thing he’s been avoiding happens - Hannibal is back in his world. Will tells Molly he’ll be different if he goes; once again he’s scared of where he’s headed. So there’s an obvious parallel there - Will imagines killing Abigail, and later Molly, when he’s having to face up to a reality that he’s been trying to ignore.

On the most basic level, Will imagines killing people because he wants to kill people. He’s known that about himself for a long time, which is why he was so determined never to do it. After he kills Hobbs, it’s not just a theory any more, he knows he likes it, and then the temptation to do it again becomes so much worse.

But in the real world, Will only wants to kill bad people. He wants to kill the murderers, the people who threaten and harm the innocent. He wants to be a protector and an avenger. He would never harm Molly, or Abigail. And I think the fact that he imagines himself doing that is a sign of his internal conflict.

Will Graham is scared of what he wants. He doesn’t want to enjoy killing people, even bad people. He was lecturing in a classroom to avoid any risk of violent situations, because he’s worried about the slippery slope. If he kills one person, he’ll want to kill more (he isn’t wrong about that). And I think that decent, moral part of Will is terrified of how far he might eventually go. If he starts off killing bad people, might he eventually end up killing less bad people? What if his urge to kill keeps increasing and he becomes one of the bad people who hurts innocents? I think it’s all part of his struggle with accepting the reality of who he is.

So any time Will Graham knows himself to be starting down the path of the killer - after he shoots Hobbs, when he goes back to investigating murders and discussing them with Hannibal - his mind shows him the worst case scenario, the thing he fears most in the world. The potential monster inside himself. And in Molly’s case, there’s the added guilt that Will knows he’s placing her in danger, because of Hannibal, a guilt that manifests in her imagined death at Will’s hands.

And so I come to the last part of your ask: I wish his return to Hannibal was more organic and not just because other people were poisoned to him

This takes us back to what is really the over-arching theme of Hannibal. It's clear that Will would never have chosen Hannibal as the love of his life. Will doesn't want to love Hannibal, any more than he wants to love killing people. But the facts don't change because they're inconvenient for Will's moral compass.

The world has effectively been poisoned for Will his whole life. He speaks to Hannibal of his isolated childhood, the boy who never fit in. He lives his adult life alone, surrounded by dogs, with acquaintances, not friends, because everyone around him considers him somewhat odd. His potential 'normal' romantic partner, Alana, has been avoiding being alone with him. With time, he learns to 'pass' as normal better, to the point where he can marry Molly and appear to be a typical family man. But that's what it is - an appearance. Will isn't fulfilled in that life. He wants to be, but he's not.

Hannibal is right for Will because neither of them fit in the 'normal' world, and the way they don't fit is the same. Hannibal isn't a show about Will accepting that he loves Hannibal - it's a show about Will accepting that he is who he is. And when he accepts the things he doesn't like about himself, only then can he accept that he loves someone who shares those traits.

Hannibal isn't the consolation prize for Will, because nobody else will have him any more. Hannibal has always been the only person who can understand him, and Will has known that for years. He just has to stop hating them both for it before he can decide to live with it.

(And it was all written by a gay man, and it's an obvious metaphor for growing up ostracised for being gay, and hating yourself for being gay, and having to accept and embrace gayness before you can accept loving another man, but that can go off on a very long tangent!)

[jyndor]

I’m rewatching the Puppetmaster for ~research~ and ugh.This is such a good episode but I cannot stand the treatment of Hama and also Katara’s special bending ability. And I’m gonna talk about it because I can’t help myself. But I also want to offer a solution maybe something that the writers could have done instead. Granted I’m a white US American so while I am about to talk about imperialism, anti-indigenous racism and racialized misogyny, I am coming from a position of privilege here and ymmv. It’s important that we as fans (especially white fans) acknowledge the things that our favorite stories can do better so that we can make our fandoms safer for everyone.

And btw fans of color have been talking about this so I definitely am going to be quoting some phenomenal bits of critique I have read on here. Also you should follow @shewhotellsstories and @visibilityofcolor for anti-racist fandom commentary.

I am also going to talk about grooming, so just be aware if that is a trigger for you.

I. Hama as a Campfire Horror Story Monster

The episode starts out with the Gaang camping in a creepy forest telling ghost stories to each other. Set to spooky music, Katara tells a story about something that happened to Kya, a friend named Nini (likely) dying in a snowstorm and then haunting her family’s home as a ghost. Immediately after, Toph hears people screaming under the ground - and then Hama finds them and invites them to her inn.

Every so often, Hama says something spooky with the spooky music playing. Katara immediately takes to Hama, but the others (especially Sokka) find her pretty unnerving. Katara says she reminds her of Gran Gran before Sokka starts snooping around and finds a bunch of puppets and a comb from the Southern Water Tribe. It’s the standard horror movie fakeout.

Every so often we get an artfully placed hint about Hama’s agenda - pulling water out of thin air, showing Katara that “plants - and all living things” are made of water. And oh yeah, she makes herself ice claws. Cool skill, but in the context of the episode, a little more unnerving.

The “moon monster” that Old Man Ding mentions, the alleged Moon spirit, turns out to be Hama (of course) and the tension builds to a peak as the Gaang rush to save Katara from the “dark puppetmaster” that has imprisoned the villagers.

Meanwhile Hama and Katara stand under the full moon washed in spooky cool lighting with an ominous breeze around them. You see Hama practically transform into a monster in a way sort of reminiscent to a werewolf - her fingers become claw-like, her veins pop out. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it’s a coincidence that as she reveals her true agenda, she becomes less human in appearance. Which... okay I’ll get to that later.

While I can’t say that Katara fits the Final Girl trope very well, I do think it’s interesting to note that horror movies often do feature women as heroes who defeat the monster/killer/whatever and usually the Final Girl is used to allow audiences to experience the full horror of the villain, which absolutely is how Katara is used here. Yes, her friends come to help, but she saves everyone in the end (my queen).

So here’s why that’s bullshit.

Framing Hama as a horror story monster make sense when you don’t think about the Implications of framing the indigenous woman POW living surrounded by people who have benefited from Fire Nation imperialism. It does - it’s a common trope: the reclusive witch who first seems kindly to some lost/wandering children before revealing her true intention - to use them for her own purposes. Yeah, I know they’re playing on Hansel and Gretel. But yeah, I’m gonna call bullshit on that too - drawing on a c*nnabalistic witch for inspiration when you’re writing an indigenous woman character is probably not the way to go.

II. Hama the Puppetmaster* and Groomer

A puppet master is obviously a puppeteer, and Hama has puppets (creepy though they may be). But in terms of the underlying meaning, she’s a chessmaster, an Emperor Palpatine/Dick Cheney kind of master manipulator who works mostly through other people. What most people would consider a psychopath (in layman’s terms). When her friendly mask falls, she is terrifying.

She is cold, calculating, manipulative as fuck - she isolates Katara almost immediately. Hama uses Katara’s desire to connect with her culture to groom her to become a weapon. It’s actually such a good example of grooming that it has to be purposeful:

Targeting a victim - Hama hears that Katara and Sokka are from the SWT. She also hears Katara tell a story about Kya. To Hama, a waterbender from her own culture is a hell of a target.

Gaining trust - Hama reaches out to Katara in particular, is especially kind to her, gives her individual attention that the others don’t get. She prepares a SWT feast for them and tells the Gaang about her heritage when they go snooping.

Filling a need - so once Hama has given Katara reason to trust her about waterbending, she promises Katara to pass on SWT waterbending heritage that only Hama knows. She fills a unique need of Katara’s.

Isolation - From then on out, we don’t see Katara with the rest of the Gaang until the end of the episode. Hama seems like a normal teacher but she does start to drop little hints, pushing Katara very gently to see how she will react to her real agenda and desensitizing Katara to what would otherwise seem unacceptable coming from someone else who hasn’t established that unique trust. “You’ve got to keep an open mind, Katara.”

So this would be the point at which Hama would make sexual contact but this is metaphorical so that obviously doesn’t happen. What does happen is Hama pushes Katara’s limits. She makes her pretty uncomfortable with the idea of killing the fire lilies for water, but when Hama appeals to their shared history of marginalization she gets over it.

Maintaining control: Hama makes her final move, which is obviously bloodbending, and reveals her true agenda - and when Katara refuses to manipulative living beings’ blood, Hama violates her bodily agency. And not only this, but she pushes Katara into bloodbending when she victimizes the Gaang, fully realizing her control. 

Hama sees it as a victory, and telling Katara breaks down at the end in one of the most emotional scenes in the show. She feels like so many of us have felt at some point: violated, betrayed by someone we trusted. And then they never really deal with that.

I actually think that’s the point of The Puppetmaster, especially given ATLA being a show for children. I think it’s supposed to be a metaphor for csa.

And... okay.

Undoubtedly it is important to send these messages to kids. And yes, people usually are victimized by those closest to them, by those in their own communities. But not indigenous women. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but according to the National Congress of American Indians, Native American women  and girls are more likely to be sexually assaulted by non-NA men. 57% of cases are perpetrated by white men. Not the people in their communities.

Choosing to tell this story with an indigenous woman POW (who very likely would have been victimized herself lbr) is a choice that I find really aggravating. When writers tell stories with a Point, it is incredibly important for those writers to understand the implications of what they are saying about the characters who they are using to make that point.

Like I’m not saying don’t make that point, or don’t use Katara (who would in real life be at a higher risk of sexual violence than the others) to make it, but why make the perpetrator someone who is statistically unlikely to be Katara’s abuser? I’m not sure I have a good answer to that question. My guess is, like with making Hama animalistic and about as unsympathetic as it gets, the writers just had blinders on about the cultural implications of what they were saying.

Not even considering the whole victimizing-the-“innocents”-of-the-Fire-Nation-town plot, Hama’s not a good person. This is probably because she was driven mad by the need for revenge, which, eurgh okay, but still it’s very apparent that she is not interested in winning over Katara’s support directly or honestly.

* also the antisemitic history of this trope hmm.

III. Hama and The Victims of Genocide Victimizing Oppressors #NotAllFireNation

Okay. So this is the part that I think annoys me the most because it’s so bad. Like, imagine for a minute that you’re a white guy and you’re gonna tell a story about a victim of genocide who is completely divorced from her culture and homeland, and furthermore is an escaped prisoner of war who has radicalized in prison - okay it just hit me, I know what they MIGHT have been going for, like maybe some kind of anti-Gitmo statement? But that didn’t happen. People who were stolen away from Iraq and imprisoned illegally in Guantanamo Bay, and who were released after being detained illegally, haven’t really shown any real radicalization. They’re pissed at the US for victimizing them, but like that seems pretty fair considering so many of them did nothing wrong.

That’s been the US government’s excuse for not releasing innocent people who were detained illegally. The idea that prisoners of war radicalized in Gitmo so they can’t be released because they’ll attack the US is propaganda. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened, but that’s where it comes from.

Considering the time period ATLA was written, considering how much of it was inspired by the US wars of aggression and imperialism, considering how political ATLA is (and why it was so popular during its initial run - during the years that Bush lost a ton of popularity) I think if that’s what they were thinking about, that’s not great.

But for all of Avatar’s good messaging on imperialism and war, it’s still written from a white US American mindset. Well surely I’m not responsible, surely you shouldn’t imprison and abuse me, a random white girl in the States. It’s my government, which I cannot control because of two-party politics or some shit.

So first off, that’s shitty because oppression is often about systems, not individuals. Sure we need to always consider the individual experiences of people who are victimized, but the people who are benefiting from imperialism? Me? Fuck if I care if someone in El Salvador or Iraq or Chile or idk any of the countries we have meddled in, let alone from a marginalized community in the United States, hates white US Americans for what our government has done - and that’s even silly because white US citizens support our government. Like we think the institutions are sound, although sometimes we don’t support the guy in charge. We think the cops are going to help us, even though that isn’t really the case.

Why frame it about what she’s doing to the Fire Nation civilians at all? Why make Hama the villain? I don’t think they wanted her to be unsympathetic, I mean they tell her story and I don’t think anyone would conclude that it doesn’t justify her desire for revenge, but why tell this story through a victim of genocide?

Recently I saw a post by @sunkin-akh where they point out that Hama basically quotes Malcolm X:

I was literally just watching the Hama episode again and I just noticed for the first time that while forcing Katara to bloodbend she says that they must fight back against the Fire Nation (and she used this exact phrase) “by any means necessary”, which is Frantz Fanon’s phrase popularized by Malcolm X during the Civil Rights Movement (iirc). They directly compared Black liberation to Hama’s evil acts and it disgusted me.

The full context:

Hama: The choice [to use bloodbending] is not yours. The power exists. And it’s your duty to use the gifts you’ve been given to win this war. Katara, they tried to wipe us out, our entire culture, your mother.

Katara: I know.

Hama: Then you should understand what I’m talking about. We’re the last waterbenders of the Southern Tribe, we have to fight these people whenever we can, wherever they are, with any means necessary.

I find that so appalling because it is framing resistance, specifically anti-racist resistance, as barbaric and monstrous. And given the way that Hama is portrayed at this point, about as inhuman as anyone in ATLA, that is extra gross.

Finally, after Katara defeats Hama, she is lead away by the authorities in CHAINS.

So now the FN cops are the good authorities who we’re gonna trust a SWT waterbender with? I mean she’s a villain so we’re probably not supposed to feel bad for her, like yeah sure the FN is usually bad but she’s a criminal so it’s okay that they take a POW back into custody.

No, no, no.

I know I am reading into this far more than the writers intended - but that’s kind of the point of critically engaging with media. Because shockingly writers don’t always question their choices - they are people and have implicit biases just like all of us. When those writers come from a privileged culture that has colonized the culture they are using as “inspiration” for their story, they need to be extra mindful of how they represent those people.

IV: How To Write Hama

Well, I’m not gonna talk over indigenous fans on this one on specifics, and you should read this rewrite by @kispesan​  but my thoughts generally are:

lose the horror framing it’s just not right for this context and this character

don’t frame Malcolm X as a villain because that’s nasty and racist

have Katara learn to use bloodbending in ways that she is comfortable with (and not just like once in one episode where she’s extra vengeful and the hero of the show doesn’t approve of her actions JFC) and don’t make the dark-skinned girl the only character whose special bending skill is dubious (I know she also has healing but still)

bring Hama home

have indigenous people in the writers room

Anyway, I’ve gone on wayyy too long. Let me know if I am speaking out of turn please if you feel that I am. and I’m sure I had other thoughts but if you want to read some other good pieces of Hama meta, I’ve listed some below:

post and another post by @marsreds​

this post and this post by @visibilityofcolor​

this post by @shewhotellsstories​

anyway katara is a queen and should have been allowed to heal, and hama never should have been irredeemable because if you can make iroh redeemable, if the show was going to redeem AZULA, you can make hama redeemable.

[mr-and-mr-diaz]

I Don’t Understand Buck Begins.

PSA this is a bit of rant. Not a hate-rant or anything like that, but I do express frustration and if you’re not here for that right now, please skip this. It is complicated and ended upa bit long. But if you’re up for it, I’d LOVE to know your thoughts.

I actually want to talk about this with people. I’m not here to drop a statement like a microphone and walk away. The first time I watched Buck Begins, I loved it. I still do. But as I think back on it and rewatch, there are some major issues I’m spotting:

1. Buck in his whole life has been endangering himself in order to get the attention (dare I say LOVE) of those around him. I feel like the Firefam’s (very OOC) responses to him recklessly endangering himself again only enforced these destructive habits?

2. Firefam’s OOC reaction: In literally every other episode, when Buck recklessly endangers himself the firefam immediately put the brakes on, tell Buck to treasure himself, not to be reckless, to think things through, to realize that the victim got out because of sheer good luck (as well as hair-brained thinking on Buck’s part, but some of Buck’s decision making also really endangered him, more on that later.) The fact that Bobby let Buck work that fire at all in the state of mind he was in is odd. The fact that Hen told him he was for whatever reason correct in choosing to split from the party and go on his own in his current state of mind was beyond odd. Looking back, it doesn’t feel like real moments, but rather contrivances dressed in nice words like “I don’t this often but you’re right” (NO HE’S F**KING NOT!!) so that we wouldn’t question them immediately. Was Buck correct that the other team needed anotehr man? Yeah. Was he right that it should be him? NOPE. Anyone could see that, we could see that, the Firefam could see that. but they let him go anyway. This is OOC, they’re smarter than that, and they’ve known Buck for long enough to know when he’s triggered and more likely to make poor decisions. During it, when Buck disobeys orders and Bobby is calmly just like “Yeah he does that sometimes.” I’m sorry, did someone put Xanax in Bobby’s coffee? Why on earth would he be so calm?? In a normal situation he would never be calm about that--add to it the fact that he KNEW Buck wasn’t at his most stable at the moment? He should have been shouting into his radio and hauling ass, not shrgging and smiling with pride like “Yup! It’s cool with me” like what?? Then afterward, nothing but kind words and praise. Good job risking your life like an idiot, good job risking the other guy because you were so determined to get him out asap you didn’t stop to think. That’s what you do, Buck. 

Like did they really just say that!?

The only nuance that I thought was right here, the only thing that was given emphasis that felt RIGHT, was not that Buck stays behind, not that he makes reckless decisions sometimes, not that he jumped into a fire while unstable, THE ONLY THING that should have been emphasized here, that the episode should have been based on? Is that BUCK DOESN’T GIVE UP. There’s a quality in him that we’ve seen before. one that Buck doesn’t seem to realize about himself. Athena’s moment was the only moment that looking back gives me any kind of cathartsis, because it is the only healthy reaction from the firefam that I saw (aside from them all running in after him--still love that moment.) they should’ve been gentle baout it, but nonetheless should’ve told Buck to treasure himself more, not be like “And here’s our most rekless memeber, pat on the back, kid, we love that you throw yourself into danger without thinking, in fact that’s what we love most about you!” Thinking back, I could SCREAM that that’s the message they left Buck with.

3. The victim: Let’s face it, the only reason the victim didn’t die is because the writers didn’t want him to. They made sure the tank landed somewhere non-fatal so that Buck could still get a win, even though many of his decisions thus far had been hare-brained and ill-advised, driven by a mad need to prove himself, and to never leave people behind, even if stopping and waiting and thinking might be more advisable at some points. In fact, when the victim first falls, and buck wakes up and he looks at him and I thought the victim was dead, first of all I was really sad for the victim, but I also felt like that was the right way to go. Buck’s decision making wasn’t sound, he wasn’t thinking straight, he went in anyway, by all rights the only reason the victim stayed alive after everything he went through was because the writers wanted him to stay alive which they followed with a big and in my opinion inappropriate Pat on the back Moment. The victim dying would’ve been tragic, but it would’ve driven home a lesson for buck, that hurting himself, endangering himself isn’t the answer, won’t always save the day. It would’ve taught Buck (harshly yes, but) that he needs to get his head  on straight in this job. And if he had lost teh victim and the firefam had been there for him anyway, it would’ve been a whole different scenario.

In the episode, while it was super sweet and had some incredible moments, Buck learns nothing, his relationship with the Firefam doesn’t actually change at all, and his relationship with his family doesn’t appear to have actually progressed. He’s still prioritizing them over himself (bringing the parents into therapy since well, they’re trying which is apparently enough now), he’s now been encouraged to continue the reckless streak of self-sacrificing decision making that he’s been on in the past in order to gain teh love and recognition of the poeple around him.

I wish the writers had placed focus, not on Buck being accepting, not on Buck being restless, but on Buck not giving up. We saw bits of that yeah, but it wasn’t as highlighted as Buck ebing reckless and feeling overall like he’s not enough. I wish the episode had been centered there, and they had created an entirely different scenario start-to-finish that (like in Eddie begins, where there were no contrivances, the only reckless thing he does--cutting the line--is something that there isn’t a quetsion in a single brain he WOULD do and should do) where Buck is level-headed, where he’s in some kind of scenario where only he could uniquely succeed in because he never gives up. This episode had bits of it here and there, but ultimately what was running teh day was buck vulnerabilities, not his strengths. Insead of pointing out where Buck shines (like the other Begins episodes), they really only further highlighted what his weaknesses are and then proceeded to have the people around him encourage those weaknesses. Like, what?!

I also think this was the moment to solidify the firefam as his family. Instead, we see Buck retreating back toward a very unhealthy family situation and the firefam remains where they always are. What they did for buck in this episode was something incredible, but it’s also something they would do for any member of the firefam. What I wanted was for the firefam to show up for Buck in a way that he uniquely needs. How, I don’t know--perhaps taking a jab at his loneliness, surprising him with a dinner party at the loft, whatever. Something that told Buck “we see your pain, we see how tough your parents are, how you and Maddie need family who will show up and treasure you no matter what (WHICH BTW INCLUDES YELING AT YOU WHEN YOU’VE BEEN AN IDIOT AND TELLING YOU TO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CRAP DON’T ENDANGER YOURSELF LIKE THAT AGAIN, PLEASE VALUE YOURSELF), that’s what Buck needed. An episode that would help him learn to treasure himself, believe in himself more, love the fact that he never gives up about himself, learn that dangerous stunts and running into things without thinking because he bleives that’s what gets him love is incorrect and unecessary. We didn’t get any of that. The episode was also trying to kill two birds with one stone, which brings me to my last point:

4. Framing Buck Begins around the sibling’s relationship, while GORGEOUS (seriously LOVED these moments they did and the casting was amazing, and both JLH and OS played their younger selves to perfection) I wish had been placed in a completely different episode. They didn’t belong here in an episode of Buck learning about himself. And because of the amount of airtime they took up, we ended up with an episode where Buck doesn’t really learn about himself in the end. Everything remains largely external instead of internal.

All in all, I feel like we need another Buck Begins episode to right the wrongs of this one. Nothing has been solved or fixed. Buck’s relationships remain pretty much the same going in as they do leaving. He has found no peace, no resolution (except in confirmation that Maddie loves him, which is nice, but largely external) he is still fuled by the belief that reckless behavior is what wins him teh love and attention of those around him.

This frustrates me to no end. If you feel like Buck Begins did scratch every itch for you, I’d love to talk and see your perspective as well, because I hate this itchy feeling of dissatisfaction and I dearly hope I’ve missed something here.

Anyway sorry this got so long. Didn’t realize I had QUITE so many thoughts until I started writing and then shit happened. If you made it to the end, thank youa nd I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree.

[terrascookiejar-archive]

Purple Yam canonically has PTSD

Hey I’ve been thinking a lot lately and want to offer an alternative take on a character the fandom seems to LOVE to Hate. Purple Yam Cookie.

Purple Yam Cookie’s rage comes from the fact that he is deeply traumatized.

Now a lot of people tend to take things about Purple Yam at face value, for a few reasons. But we’re not going to get into the race debacle or bigoted opinions here. We’re here to talk about the thing everyone overlooks, His Character.

And yes if you take time to actually read and consider what is in the game about Yam, you’d understand that a character was there.

Starting at the place where we learn the most about cookies initially, his story

Now there’s two very, VERY important takeaways from this story I want to bring up to all of you.

Purple Yam was baked in extreme temperatures again and again until the heat finally got to his head. Ever since, Purple Yam Cookie has been in an angered state (to say the least!) that’s why we advise being extremely cautious around him.

and

The Cookie (Purple Yam) claims that no one has suffered in the “flames of hell” more than him, but little does he know that - in fact - other Cookies went through the Witch’s oven too...

We know that Yam likes to talk a lot about “The Fiery Hell” and how we “Have No Idea How Hot it was In there”

I think the one thing we need to think about is the fact that Yam didn’t just go through the Oven ONCE. He went through it an UNKNOWN amount of times until it BROKE him MENTALLY. 

Now trauma isn’t always someone becoming reclusive or someone becoming weak or depressed, etc. etc.  The fact of the matter is everyone experiences trauma differently, and anger? Anger is a VERY common side effect of trauma. In fact a very, very common symptom of PTSD IS Anger!!

Now there’s a great article on PTSD and not just how but why Anger is a common side effects, from the US Department of Veteran Affairs (Because, well, PTSD is a common thing coming back from war)

Anger is often a large part of a survivor's response to trauma. It is a core piece of the survival response in human beings. Anger helps us cope with life's stresses by giving us energy to keep going in the face of trouble or blocks.  (...) One way of thinking is that high levels of anger are related to a natural survival instinct. When faced with extreme threat, people often respond with anger. Anger can help a person survive by shifting his or her focus. The person focuses all of his or her attention, thought, and action toward survival. Anger is also a common response to events that seem unfair or in which you have been made a victim. Research shows that anger can be especially common if you have been betrayed by others. This may be most often seen in cases of trauma that involve exploitation or violence.

Now all these things we can attribute to Purple Yam in spades.

Purple Yam’s whole skill is based his anger, reaching a fever pitch and becoming “a tornado of rage.” It’s a trigger response, and when he reaches the end of his energy??? He gets blasts of rage that happen very rapidly, It’s a the end of his energy. This is his survival instinct.

And too, we need to identify the fact that Purple Yam seems to very much believe that  no one has it worse than him. He might not be aware that other cookies have gone through what he has, though I think the most likely attribution is that he thinks his experience was worse because he was forced to experience it over and over again.  You could say that others attributing the fact they went through the oven as well might make Yam believe they are challenging him by marginalizing what happened to him. In fact, everything is a challenge to him now.

Purple Yam is always looking for a fight. Always.

Fighting seems to be the one outlet for him to get all this rage out. This is the only way he can cope with his anger. The anger and rage that he was baked to his breaking point into having can only be satiated by fighting. 

One could argue that losing to Dark Choco was SUCH a blow to his pride, because fighting is the only that makes Yam feel GOOD about what happened. Losing was the ultimate threat to who he IS and what DEFINES him at this point that he NEEDS to get it back. He NEEDS to find Dark Choco and RECLAIM the ONE thing that makes Yam happy and proud. His raw power as a fighter.

and this doesn’t just extends to fighting, his anger overtakes EVERYTHING.

Going back to the article, it illustrates my next point well.

In people with PTSD, their response to extreme threat can become "stuck." This may lead to responding to all stress in survival mode. If you have PTSD, you may be more likely to react to any stress with "full activation." You may react as if your life or self were threatened

Now Purple Yam is not great with any other emotions, he literally responds to ANYTHING from a threat to a COMPLIMENT with ANGER and INSTIGATION. Yam is literally so unable to cope with anything that’s not anger, that the stress of it turns itself around and back to being anger again.

Everything he can’t deal with his activating that survival instinct and turning back to anger. Which only adds to the destructive nature he gives off. Every little thing becomes as bad as his life being in danger, even if it’s small. 

With this all established. There’s one more important thing I’d like to talk about. There’s more to Yam than his anger.

Yes Purple Yam has PTSD, Yes Purple Yam is very angry and anger is his one outlet to his trauma. However, like an actual Sweet Potato, there’s actually an inner sweetness to Yam beneath all the heat. 

We need to remember that someone with any kind of Trauma isn’t just someone WITH trauma. They are someone

Very much brought upon symbolically, like many cookies, through his magic candy item.

This sweet potato might look scary with its sharp spikes, but it tastes like heaven. But who could be brave enough to try this thing in the beginning?

Scary with spikes, but something much nicer on the inside? Hmmm.

Now to round this out, how do I know that there’s potential for Yam to be something more that isn’t just defined by the anger that he uses to cope? Why the first guild adventure of course!!!

The first time we see Yam, he’s busted down the walls of... some place and meets Milk Cookie who, in Milk Cookie fashion, greets him with open arms thinking he’s here to join his guild.

Throughout the adventure, we see something NOBODY likes to talk about. A CHANGE IN YAM’S CHARACTER.

In the beginning, things are very tense between Milk and Yam once Milk finds out Yam wants to challenge Dark Choco! Milk Cookie doesn’t just easily let Purple Yam get away with the idea that he’s going to hurt the cleric’s mentor! So Milk cautiously follows from a distance whilst being threatened by Yam to stop following him. 

That’s when they encounter a jellyworm and a fight ensues.

The next time we see these two, Yam is still questioning why Milk is following him. It can be assumed that not many cookies would stick around Yam up until his point. A lot of the tension that mired the beginning is gone, and Milk seems to be more trusting of Yam as a cookie. Perhaps after the encounter starting to realize that inner good that Yam has under the surface. While Yam has gone from threatening to mild annoyance at Milk’s refusal to leave him alone. Seemingly to only let Milk follow along because he won’t leave the Berserker alone.

After saving Purple Yam from a close call, Milk Cookie suggests that perhaps it would be better if the two work together. Purple Yam, though begrudgingly, agrees. Though when Milk Cookie frames it in the form of the challenge, Purple Yam is far more on board. Almost as if Milk Cookie has come to understand how Purple Yam’s mindset works and it can be attributed to a positive goal rather than a negative one.

Yam has gone from being hostile, being threatening, being mildly annoyed, to accepting help in the form of Milk Cookie to ultimately reach his goal. The two might have different goals in mind, but thanks to Milk Cookie’s patience and perseverance he’s managed to even get a cookie as stubborn as Purple Yam to work with him to make it to the end.

Now I’m not gonna say the obvious. However I will leave you with this thought. Someone is suffering heavily from trauma that results in episodes of anger, and someone comes into their life who doesn’t entirely get what’s going on, but wants to help. It might be met with animosity... yet with patience, perseverance, and understanding can come to help that person to cope. Thus allowing the one with PTSD room to open up and perhaps find outlets outside of anger. Gaining someone who, though might not always agree and have all the answers, can be one they can trust to help them.

Maybe there was always more to the first guild adventure than meets the eye.

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Killabustas (S2, E9)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:00 - Are the birds flying past Malcolm’s apartment supposed to be an omen for the rest of the season? Or just some foreshadowing for the bird-heavy episode? .....I’m probably reading wayyy too much into this.

0:12 - Ugh. Someone give this sweet cinnamon roll a hug. He’s spiralling. He is so close to having a total mental breakdown and it breaks my heart. (but like, I also want to see it because emotional whump is my favourite).

0:23 - “How can I trust you? I know what you did.” This. This is what’s killing Malcolm. The fear that if Gil, Dani, JT, and Edrisa find out what he did for Ainsley they won’t trust him. He’s afraid they’ll abandon him. He’s afraid that they’ll hate him as much as he already hates himself. ISTG the moment they all find out (or tell Malcolm what they suspect) Malcolm will break. That will be the metaphorical straw that breaks the camel’s back. 

0:34 - Anyone else think Malcolm looks completely adorable (yet super sad and scared) when he’s focusing on painting? <3

0:45 - “Why must everything you paint have an exit wound?” I love that this suggests that this isn’t the first mother-son painting session. <3 hahaha

0:47 - “It’s a pear.” It’s heartbreaking that Malcolm didn’t even realize that his pear was bleeding. C’mon Jessica, it’s time for an intervention. Malcolm is breaking in front of you. DO SOMETHING. 

1:01 - NO. DAMN IT FEDAK. I wanted to see Malcolm’s reaction when Jessica told him she was writing a memoir. I wanted to see it so badly. I wanted to see him panic about the fact that she was inevitably going to disclose information about his childhood that he’d rather not have public. 

1:09 - “How much worse you really are.” OOOOOOOOOOHHHH SHIT. I can’t believe he said that to his Mother’s face. hahahaha OMG. Malcolm is a little shit head and I love him. Well, at least I know he’s upset about the fact that she’s writing this book. His jab at Jessica proves that much.

1:42 - Is Malcolm playing matchmaker here? hahaha or is he just trying to get Jessica out of his loft ASAP?

1:53 - “Why didn’t they call me?!?” Can you hear the sound of my heart breaking? I understand why they didn’t call him in on this one BUT it’s not helping Malcolm’s mental health. On top of the fear that he is becoming his father, the stress of covering up a murder, the fear that his sister is going to become a serial killer, his childhood trauma, and usual mental health issues - Malcolm is afraid he’s going to be abandoned if the team finds out about Endicott. This is reinforcing those fears. 

1:55 - “Where should I start?” At least Jessica can see how much pain Malcolm is in. I wish she’d do something constructive about it.

2:00 - “Forget to call someone?” Something about the way Malcolm waltzes into the frame and delivers that line is super endearing. He’s like a little kid running after his older siblings and their friends when they tried to go to the mall without him. <3 

2:05 - Why the hell didn’t Gil just pull a 1x12 on Malcolm and insist Malcolm take a holiday? Hell - he could’ve gotten Jessica to enforce it. The fact that Gil is being super distant with Malcolm is not helping Malcolm’s very fragile mental health. GIL I’M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU (and I have been all season....) :(

 2:12 - “Trauma’s my middle name.” Okay so 1) what is Malcolm’s middle name? If it’s Martin please tell me he changed it when he changed his last name. 2) At least we got a small papa!Gil moment this episode. <3 

2:26 - “Fine.” This is Gil terrified. Remember what Gil said in 1x12? “He was losing it. I mean, I could see that. But I was afraid that I’d lose him.” That’s why Gil is letting Malcolm on this case. He knows Malcolm is losing it and he’s terrified of what Malcolm might do to himself with time on his hands. Gil doesn’t think Malcolm should be working but he knows it’s the only thing he can do to help Malcolm in the short term. 

2:42 - hahahaha Gil’s taken-aback look when Malcolm starts not-so-subtly being a member of the Gillica fan club. hahaha <3

3:00 - Okay. I’m done. Edrisa can’t still think she and Malcolm might happen. I can’t handle this blantant one-sided worship anymore and I’m so glad it’s ending this episode (I hope).

3:07 - “and also, you’re bleeding.” <3 JT looking out for Bright. <3 

3:12 - “Oh. I thought that this was your hobby?” <3 Dani teasing Bright. <3 I love that Dani, Edrisa, and JT are at least giving Malcolm some positive attention right now. It’s good for his fragile mental state. <3 

3:40 - The directing is really good this episode. I’m not usually a person who notices that kind of thing but DAMN. 

“It’s an expression of power and control.” “Sounds like someone with serious anger issues.” Yikes. Why do the ‘cases of the week’ always relate back to Malcolm’s current mental health crisis?!? Malcolm dismembered a body (for Ainsley but still). Now he’s profiling that the act of dismembering a body is an expression of power and control. That reinforces his fear that he’s becoming like Martin. Dani’s distaste and offhanded comment about anger issues won’t help Malcolm’s very real fear of abandonment. Hell, it’s compounding his fears that he’s like his father - the man obsessed with power and control who has a nasty temper when things don’t go his way. 

4:09 - “Our killer derived pleasure from this.” Dani looks terrified when Malcolm says this. Is it just because she thinks this is a gross and scary murder scene? Or is it because she’s connecting the Malcolm+Endicott dots?

4:11 - “budding homicidal psychopath” is this supposed to be foreshadowing that Malcolm is becoming a psychopath? The writers have been suggesting that Malcolm enjoyed cutting up the body all season. .....and I don’t want the story to go that way. Please no.

4:15 - “I think I just became a vegetarian.” hahahaha JT is my hero. I love this dude and his dry but humorous comments.

4:26 - Once again - I can’t rewatch the Martin+Capshaw scenes. Once was more than enough. My basic thoughts on this particular scene? Capshaw and Martin are both gross. I think Martin is desperate for physical contact and Capshaw knows it. I think Capshaw is manipulating Martin (why is a mystery to me). I also think Martin is manipulating Capshaw so he can use her to help him escape.....I do however think Martin is a heterosexual male who is full of lust and physical desires. (which is really gross to me - a sex-repulsed asexual).

 6:22 - I have a serious love-hate relationship with this scene. On one hand, Gil is clearly so so so concerned about Malcolm here and it warms my cold dead heart. On the other hand, the fact that he sends Dani to talk to Malcolm instead of just talking to Malcolm himself kind of pisses me off. Gil’s been really distant with Malcolm all season and it’s killing me. BUT I also kind of understand why Gil is passing off Malcolm to Dani (I don’t agree with it but I digress). All season the writers have been pushing the Brightwell relationship. We’ve seen a lot of really good meaningful conversations between Dani and Malcolm. At this point in time, it appears that Malcolm is willing to open up to Dani more than anyone else. Think about it. Even in season 1 - Malcolm never really opened up to Gil about his mental health. Gil knows that Malcolm won’t talk about his mental health with him - so he’s sending in the expert (Dani). I’m not happy about this but I kind of get it. 

6:39 - OMG. Malcolm excitedly sliding into the room is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. <3

6:44 - “What are you guys talking about?” “You.” Exhibit A. If Malcolm had just responded with “what? why?” or Gil had followed up his statement with “we’re worried about you” we could’ve had a meaningful conversation about Malcolm’s mental health. Right. Here. BUT Malcolm knows why they’re talking about him. Malcolm is deflecting. He doesn’t want to talk about this with Gil. So he rolls his eyes and walks away. Gil shouldn’t have let Malcolm off the hook so easily. :( 

7:36 - “There’s a special place in hell for people who hurt birds.” Ugh. I just want to hug this little cinnamon roll. <3 

7:55 - “Where’d this murder board come from?”  hahahaha I love how JT’s constant mood is “I work with crazy people”. 

8:07 - “You’re a web sleuth.” I love that JT somehow manages to get across that he thinks Edrisa is a complete weirdo but he respects the hell out of her. Also - the fact that JT teases the people he loves is so cute to me. 

8:31 - “Ouf.” This was funny but it also felt a little ooc? Like wouldn’t Gil just cross his arms and say “Edrisa” as a gentle but stern warning? 

8:53 - Does Edrisa have no filter or do people really think about sex this often? As an asexual, I’m genuinely asking.

8:55 - I love how uncomfortable Gil and JT get every time Edrisa starts talking about sex and/or reproductive anatomy. hahaha

9:37 - Did Martin ever kill animals? As a teenager maybe? 

9:47 - “They have all the control over this cages, seemingly inferior creature.” ....is this supposed to be a subtle reference to the Martin/Capshaw thing? Capshaw being the killer and Martin being the inferior animal she’s controlling? 

10:15 - Nope. I’m out. Can’t do it. So gross. 

11:00 - “It’s super gross.” Malcolm is all of us. 

11:08 - Soooo is Martin fantasizing about killing Capshaw after they do sexy things (hopefully consensual ones)?

11:52 - “Oh I’m already crazy.” This is somehow adorable and completely heart shattering. Malcolm is hiding his pain behind humour but he genuinely believes that he’s crazy. :( 

12:00 - Is this the only conversation Malcolm and Edrisa have ever had without Edrisa hero-worshiping Malcolm?......I like it?!?! These two are total weirdos and should definitely be besties.

13:14 - Damn. Edrisa is shining in this episode. <3 <3 

13:33 - “No. You won’t” hahaha JT being the team big brother is so cute. 

13:46 - “You coming?” Malcolm is so soft here. <3 <3 

14:00 - I love everything about this scene. I love how Dani opens up to Bright - even though it’s clearly still painful for her to talk about. I love how attentive and caring Malcolm is. I love how in character they both are. Malcolm is trying to deflect his problems. I love how Malcolm is 100% aware that Dani doesn’t believe his “I’m fine” bs. Dani is trying to get him to open up by sharing some of her own demons with him. Dani looks upset and worried that Malcolm won’t open up - but not surprised. 

15:00 - “I pulled a Bright.” hahahaha OMG. I love that Dani and Malcolm don’t question this expression at all. It suggests that the team has used the phrase “pulling a Bright” before and I am here for it. 

15:27 - This is what I call ‘passively suicidal’. Yes, Malcolm jumps in front of that car because he thinks it will help him solve the case. Yes, it’s technically an action motivated by the will to live. HOWEVER, he doesn’t move out of the way when Dani tells him to. That car is driving slowly. He doesn’t move. Because he’s in a mental state where he doesn’t care if he lives or dies. He has moments when he cares about life (like solving a case) but those just aren’t enough anymore. Yes, he looks a little alarmed when the car approaches him - but I honestly doubt Malcolm is frozen in fear. 

15:56 - “You had the right of way. He can’t sue.” Holy shit. First of all - I immediately think Ashton is a douche. Secondly - is this how America works?!?! In Canada we teach our drivers that the ‘pedestrian always has the right of way’.

16:11 - “My super close friends from online.” Honestly - I feel called out. This is how I must sound when mention my internet friends to my family.

16:25 - Sooooo we’re all in agreement right? The fact that Malcolm has hit the left side of his head without medical treatment this many times = 1) mental breakdown sometime before the end of the season or 2) a way to get him out of taking the fall for Endicott.

16:38 - *sigh* can someone please hug this man!?!? He just can’t catch a break. This whole conversation between Malcolm and hallucination!Martin is heartbreaking. It shows that on some level even Malcolm knows he’s going to break soon because his mental health is in tatters. 

17:23 - “She’s not like the others.” Who are the ‘others’? Are these the other people that Malcolm’s had a romantic interest in? Are ‘others’ friends from Malcolm’s past? Or are the others Gil, Edrisa, and JT?  

17:34 - Ugh. Floppy haired. Bruised. Sad. My whump heart is so full. 

17:56 - Does Malcolm not go on the internet? He didn’t know what a sock puppet is? (granted, I’m 24 and I didn’t know either).

18:04 - The firefighter’s name is BLAZE (Blaise)?!? Are you kidding me?

18:24 - “No. No, it isn’t.” Damn. JT is worried about Malcolm. Just look at him. 

18:51 - Do I think it’s weird that this dude is so openly flirting with Edrisa in the middle of a police questioning?!? HELL YES. Do I think it’s weird that Edrisa’s allowed in the questioning??!!? HELL YES. Am I glad they’re giving Edrisa a love interest who isn’t Malcolm? OH HELL YES. ....also Edrisa and Blaze are kind of cute? Like they’re both weirdos and they’re both into each other so ...?!!?

19:47 - Wow. This whole “Killabustas police interrogation” scene is painfully hard to rewatch. Like - the dialogue makes absolutely no logical sense but it had to be there for the plot? Everything is just too convenient. The pamphlets. The fact that these members were all so quick to meet IRL. The fact that these dudes were able to track Alex down so quickly....I mean....who is buying this nonsense?!?!

20:05 - Ugh my asexual ass can’t handle the amount of horny people in this episode. 

20:18 - Anyone else think it’s strange that Gil referred to Malcolm as “Bright” to Jessica?!? I mean, Jessica is Malcolm’s mother. PLUS it feels like Gil is trying to emotionally distance himself from Malcolm?!? 

20:24 - “Remind me to take Malcolm out of my will.” hahahahaha OMG. I love Jessica so much.

20:44 - These Jessica/Gil scenes were a highlight of the episode for me. They’re just so cute. I love how supportive Gil is. I love how Jessica isn’t repressing her feelings with booze during this episode. I love how open about her insecurities Jessica is with Gil. I love how happy they both look. <3 <3 <3 <3 

21:24 - “Some still do.” YES!!!! YES!!!! Keep flirting Gil!!! Don’t give up on her!!! <3 <3 

21:45 - Holy shit. How much does Edrisa get paid?!?! This is a rich person apartment. I’m shook. 

23:05 - Again. I must fast forward through the nasty romantic manipulation that is the Capshaw+Martin scene. The sexual tension made me nauseous the first time. But I WILL say that I think the black guard in this scene - Mr. Benjamin will be the dude Martin maims next episode (from the previews) - not Mr. David. Either that or the black patient in the room. 

25:25 - “Watch out. I bite.” ........I have no words. My asexual ass is shocked, disgusted, and .....kind of proud of Edrisa for going after what she wants (even if she’s super crass about it). 

26:03 - “That’s a seriously twisted mind.” “Sure. The kind I get.” This whole scene is heartbreaking. I honestly can’t tell if Malcolm is projecting himself, Ainsley, or both of them onto the suspect. “He killed for attention” - sounds like Ainsley to me. “Alex was going to out him to the group” ......HOLY SHIT. Does this mean Ainsley’s going to try and kill Malcolm and/or Jessica because she think’s they’ll rat her out?!?!?! “It’s about preserving the group. The Vulture needs them.” - That sounds like Malcolm to me. Malcolm doesn’t want to tell the team about Ainsley because he needs them and he’s scared they’ll abandon him if they find out about Ainsley. 

27:10 - I’m getting secondhand embarrassment from the west coast of Canada.

27:21 - “Our killer would never order take out.” Weak, Malcolm. Weak excuse. 

27:40 - annnnnndd this scene was a hard skip for me. I can’t watch Martin and Capshaw prepare to do sexy things. Nope. ALTHOUGH, I will say: Capshaw’s story about how she ended up in Claremont is interesting. Whether it’s true or not is debatable but it definitely shows that Capshaw is manipulative and creepy like Martin. I have a very strong feeling that Capshaw is a psychopath, serial killer, or sociopath. 

31:00 - Edrisa checking out Malcolm’s loft is everything I dreamed it would be. The fact that she’s clearly in awe of his weapons collection. The fact that she has no regard for his privacy and just starts going through his fridge and sleeping area. The fact that she so openly comments and judges the stuff in his loft (ie. restraints on the bed, lack of food in the fridge). It’s perfect. 

31:27 - “This is the fridge of a very sad person.” LMAO. I love this line so so so much. I love how Edrisa seems to be realizing for the first time just how broken Malcolm is. I love how sheepish Malcolm looks when she unintentionally calls him out. I love how amused Dani is by the whole situation. <3 <3 

32:00 - annnndddd the Killabustas have taken over Malcolm’s loft. They don’t ask for permission to set up his TV. They don’t awkwardly hang out near the door until Malcolm invites them to ‘make themselves at home’ or any of the other common pleasantries us North Americans go through when we visit the homes of acquaintances. They walk right in and claim ownership. It’s kind of beautiful? 

32:13 -......so did they already have Malcolm’s wifi password or am I expected to believe that they either a) have a mobile hotspot, b) are using data, c) web-sleuthed their way into hacking his wifi, or d) Malcolm had his wifi password written down somewhere super obvious inside the house?!?! This is honestly the most unrealistic thing about this episode. It’s 2021. The first time you visit a friend’s house you ask for their wifi password. It’s what you do. 

33:28 - Ok. I like the kiss on the cheek. Very respectful. She clearly would’ve been down for more but he’s a gentleman and I respect the hell out of it. 

33:48 - “I’m sorry Blaze is so jacked.” hahaha OMG Edrisa - Malcolm’s not romantically interested in you. He never has been. Read the room woman!

36:11 - Ashton is Malcolm in this scene. “I’ve been a freak my whole life. I had nothing until that bird video. Suddenly, I was a part of something.” == “I’ve been a freak my whole life. I had nothing until I joined the team. Suddenly, I was a part of something.”

36:38 - “Ashton, it won’t work. Family will only go so far. Because once they know the truth - who they’re really after - they’ll give up on you. And no more family.” Ouch. This hurts. Malcolm genuinely believes that Gil, Dani, JT, and Edrisa are going to abandon him the second they find out what he did for Ainsley. Malcolm thinks they’re going to hate him. Malcolm thinks they’re going to think he’s like Martin - a criminal. A killer. Look at how broken Malcolm looks and sounds here. It’s not just that Malcolm thinks he’s going to be abandoned. It’s that he thinks he deserves to be abandoned. He thinks he’s a monster. 

 37:02 - EDRISA!!! DAMN. I love this badass. <3 <3 So proud of the girl who literally had a panic attack in 1x15 when she had to save a that ‘almost-victim’ by injecting alcohol into him. 

38:05 - My heart is so full. This is honestly one of my top 10 moments of Prodigal Son to date. I love that we see Gil’s new car. I love that he’s working on his car in a police mechanic shop. I love this little glimpse into Gil’s personal life  - the man who likes fixing up old cars with a cold beer while listening to 80s music in an boombox from the 80s. <3 I love the absolute adorableness that is Jessica and Gil awkwardly flirting. 

I love that Jessica - the rich socialite - holds Gil’s wrench without question. Even though she looks a little confused. I love that Jessica comes to Gil this time. He’s been instigating the flirting most of this season. It looks like Jessica’s finally ready to be an equal partner in the relationship.

I love that Jessica - the rich socialite - takes a drink of Gil’s working-class beer with a smile. His social class isn’t beneath her. She doesn’t care about how rich he is - just about the purity of his intentions and the depth of his devotion to her family. 

39:00 - “Oh I remember her. How fiercely she protected her kids.” I LOVE THIS. I love that Gil is attracted to Jessica’s devotion as a mother. I love that the fact that she had children with another man (a serial killer) doesn’t bother him. He loves how fierce, independent, and strong she is and that’s absolutely gorgeous. 

I love who wholesome their romantic moment is. Unlike Edrisa and Martin’s live scenes - it’s not fast, heavy, and physical. It’s slow, gentle, and emotional. Gil and Jessica dance like an old married couple when the song they danced to at their wedding comes on the radio. 

I love the setting of the scene. How they’re dancing in a dirty mechanic’s shop. Jessica is dressed like the rich woman she is and Gil is wearing a plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows. The contrast is striking and beautiful. I love that Jessica isn’t trying to make Gil fit into her social status. She’s not dragging him to rich people galas and forcing him to dress or act like someone he’s not (although he would so do that for her). She’s hanging out with Gil on his turf and she’s delighted about it. <3 

 40:08 - “Do you think you can ever really know someone?” Isn’t this what Malcolm said to Gil in 1x17 as the whole Endicott thing was boiling? You know - a few episodes before the team arrests Malcolm in his loft when he’s in the middle of a mental crisis?!? Is this foreshadowing for the next mental health breakdown?!? (Hopefully a fully mental health breakdown this time?!?!)

40:18 - “Masquarading as someone he wasn’t” Yikes. Malcolm truly believes he’s lying to the team just because he’s not acting like a monster. Malcolm has truly convinced himself that he is his father’s son. 

40:45 - I don’t even care how you feel about Brightwell. The fact that Dani is the only person this whole season who has told Malcolm that he’s not a monster makes her the greatest friend he could ever ask for. 

40:51 - “Ever since Nicholas died.” ....well Dani isn’t a moron so if she didn’t connect the dots before she will now. If we don’t get an intervention next episode I’m going to throw hands. 

40:57 - Why. Does. Martin. Have. To. Ruin. Every. Chance. Malcolm. Gets. To. Begin. To. Heal?!?!

41:16 - “ooooohhhh here comes the kiss” .....honestly though. Martin is every Brightwell shipper.

41:20 - I respect the hell out of Malcolm for shutting Dani down like this. Yes - he absolutely should’ve come clean with her. HOWEVER, he clearly isn’t ready to share this burden and the fact that he shut down the progress of any romantic relationship is really good. Because Dani would be SO MAD if they started dating while he was actively lying to her. It would be the end of their friendship. Forget your Brightwell ship - they wouldn’t even be friends. 

41:40 - “Why are you ruining this!?” Dani had to have heard this. Even if she didn’t....Malcolm was pretty obviously glancing over her shoulder at hallucination!Martin before she left. There’s no way Dani - a detective - won’t be able to figure out that Malcolm is hallucinating. I WANT A MENTAL HEALTH INTERVENTION. NEXT EPISODE. I’M MANIFESTING IT INTO EXISTANCE. EVEN THOUGH I DON’T TRUST FEDAK TO GIVE IT TO ME. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO HUG MALCOLM. 

42:06 - Honestly thought Capshaw was going to beat the crap out of Friar Pete here. This woman is unstable. Mark my words. She’s going to kill someone (if she hasn’t already). 

I know I kind of shat on this episode a bit but I honestly really liked it? I loved the character development it gave us. Even if the plot was pretty subpar. 

Thanks for hanging out. See you next week. <3 :) 

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

lol okay so I dashed off most of this the day of and then kept not posting it because I kept thinking I needed to add stuff, but then I ended up adding more stuff mostly in reblogs instead (should all be under the “my meta” tag if anyone’s curious) and now episode 2 is technically coming out tomorrow night in my time zone so obviously I need to just post this. bullet points of disconnected thoughts, some of which are probably at least slightly outdated by now but whatever, here you go

seems very possible Mobius left the tape with him on purpose because he figured Loki wouldn’t be able to resist looking at it

would have to check the timing but I’m pretty sure he started looking terrified as soon as Thanos came onscreen without really knowing the context (aside from the very basic outline of “it’s been several years and he reconciled with Thor”), which at least underscores that they weren’t buddies--Loki knew something awful was about to happen the second Thanos showed up sadly this is not true, the clip he sees first is him trying to stab Thanos, so...yeah it stands to reason that he’d know it was about to end badly no matter what

other people have mentioned this but I love that we got to see Loki just like...existing?? like I know he’s never been the protagonist before and seeing him as the protagonist has always been one of the things that’s excited me most about the show, but now that it’s here I’m just kind of struck by how HE’S THE PROTAGONIST so we’re getting all these emotions and little gestures and moments when he’s alone that we only got in tiny, sadly easy-to-overlook snatches before (and it also occurred to me that I don’t think we’ve ever seen Loki eat anything, which is something else that might change)

also his projection is fascinating, and so is the fact that he explicitly turned it around on himself, which seems relevant to all the theories about a lot of his other statements (”freedom is life’s great lie,” most of what he said to Natasha, etc.) being things that were drummed into him on Sanctuary rather than stuff he just came up with on his own, so that seems to cover a lot of the stuff he says in Avengers and here

on the other hand it seems unlikely we’re ever going to get confirmation that Bad Stuff happened to him on Sanctuary aside from what we already saw in Avengers, which is frustrating, although to be fair I also wasn’t expecting to see Loki crying about his family in the first episode (and the most I’m really hoping for, still, is that nothing will explicitly contradict the idea, so...we’re good on that thus far, I guess)

so the first half of the episode was...ehhh, I don’t know, but the second half was amazing. I know some people didn’t like that part either, but I felt like...okay, I don’t love him being humiliated so I would’ve preferred different framing for some of this BUT a lot of casual viewers still see Loki as a cackling caricature without having picked up on any of the stuff that very clearly showed otherwise, and this show wants to treat Loki as a person, someone worthy of audience sympathy, so they kind of had to go in hard and fast on that aspect to get everyone up to speed. like, yes, fans who’ve been paying attention know that Loki’s a person, that he’s wounded, that he doesn’t hurt people just because it’s fun for him, that he feels things very deeply, that he loves his family, but somehow the mainstream perception of him has missed like 85% of that, and the show’s just not going to have much impact unless it gets everybody on board with those very basic ideas. in terms of story structure it probably doesn’t make sense for this to be his lowest point, but starting from the bottom and eventually getting somewhere better is fairly standard, so at this point I can imagine tons of ways things could improve for him

yeah I do hate the whole Sacred Timeline thing, see also my posts about how much I loved that Endgame canonically (I thought) established multiple timelines where everything was fine, so yeah I’m pissed about that because it means those timelines were canonically pruned

like I don’t...hate it as a storytelling device? I just hate it for fandom reasons, and I’ve hated it in other fandoms when canon did something that seemed to open things up to all this incredible possibility and then went “actually no, we’re boxing it up again into this one specific Way That Things Happened” and for fanwork purposes it doesn’t matter all that much, I don’t think it’s actually that much harder to do AUs or go “okay well in this universe the TVA doesn’t exist, whatever” (in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if AO3 quickly develops a new canonical “not TVA compliant” tag for basically all Loki fic), but it is annoying that it’s now like “canonically, every AU is Not Allowed”, and if that ends up sticking as the status quo with the TVA considered good guys or at least a necessary evil then yeah, I’m going to be annoyed

HOWEVER

I don’t think that’s inevitable for a variety of reasons

this whole show is going to deal with multiverse shenanigans and so will Dr. Strange 2, so it seems completely possible that the end result could be a status quo of “there’s a multiverse actually and that’s fine” (...although yes, I’ll be doubly annoyed if the end result of this show is a restored multiverse of some kind and the end result of Dr. Strange 2 is condensing it back down to a single timeline)

the multiverse is a long-running comics tradition, which still seems to be the case even after...whatever event it was that collided a bunch of them and tried for a Highlander thing, look I wasn’t really following it and I know some characters ended up in other universes from where they started but I’m pretty sure we still have a multiverse of some kind

almost all the recent Loki-centric comics have focused on questions of fate and agency

Agent of Asgard in particular was about Loki eventually going “fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” and forging a new path (and, okay, it does seem like runs other than AoA have been the most influential here but again we’ve only seen one episode)

Loki, specifically, is an agent of chaos and change, like that’s his whole thing going way back to mythology, because sometimes stagnancy is death and chaos is healthy, and of course myth!Loki (and earlier versions of comics!Loki) is always responsible for triggering Ragnarok, which isn’t just the end of the world but is also a natural, crucial part of a cycle of renewal, and yes the MCU already did Ragnarok but that doesn’t at all mean they can’t play more with those ideas

Tom Hiddleston has brought up this specific point several times in recent interviews, that sometimes chaos is the one thing that's really needed

also, on Jimmy Kimmel the day of the episode, he kind of...planted a seed about the TVA maybe not being uncomplicated good guys because seriously what gives them the right to make these decisions for literally everyone

so at the very least I think it’s completely possible that things aren’t quite what they seem, and that for instance we’re supposed to discover that Mobius is consciously manipulating him to turn him into the type of tool the TVA wants him to be

also “the timeline wants to break free” shows up on a lot of merch, which does seem to indicate a free will vs. predestination theme

I’m not at all familiar with comics!TVA, although I understand they’re considered villains (although to be fair, so were the Skrulls, and at least thus far that’s been inverted for the MCU), but their whole thing reminded me of a few other entities in a way that could be relevant:

the tape running out was like the Norns cutting the thread of somebody’s life

Those Who Sit Above In Shadow in AoA (and also maybe whatever was below the God Quarry in Infinity Wars although I’m less familiar with that)

the gods in Cabin In The Woods, who were also kind of audience proxies in that they really just cared about the sacrifice being entertaining, which kinda seems like the only logical reason for the Timekeepers to prefer any given series of events over another

my personal hope for the series: the Timekeepers are ultimately the Big Bad and the rogue Loki variant is ultimately right in trying to wipe out the TVA (because sure I realize it’s maybe dumb of me but I still don’t want any Loki to be completely a bad guy!!); the major named TVA characters realize they’re the baddies actually and team up with a whole army of Lokis to take them down and GIVE US BACK OUR MULTIVERSE