#but i uh... forgot that i never get sick and i literally cannot remember the last time i had a fever haha...

[paimonial-rage]

Hey I’m absolutely in love with your bookkeepingverse series and I was wondering you ever plan on continuing it 🥹

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it!!! Yes, I am planning on continuing it. I have the next few chapters planned out and I have started on the next chapter. It's just that I faced a small roadblock that keeps me from going any farther haha. But I definitely have no plans on abandoning the series anytime soon!

[ponyosmom35]

I remember you (Elliot x OC)

Elliot Alderson x Original Character

Synopsis: The reader was dating Elliot before he forgot who he was, she never left his side. and months later he remembers.

He clutches his head as memories flash through his eyes. 

There she was, standing in a dress, her hair was curled and she had a smile on her face as she opened the door to see who’d knocked. This woman, the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen in his life. All of the air is stolen from his lungs as he meets her eyes. Her aqua-colored eyes. After seeing the note she posted in the mail room about needing help with her computer, Elliot was curious. He surprised himself by responding to the ad and emailing her. Two days later he stood in front of her door, his heart beating out of his chest. His palms sweating. He’d never felt this way before.

“Hi, Elliot I assume?” she asks  

“Uh yeah” he responds awkwardly 

“I’m Willow, and I cannot thank you enough for answering! I tried taking it to a shop but they wanted to charge me $200, this was kinda my last resort” she explains 

“I’m happy to help”

“I hope you’re good, because I don’t know the first thing about computers” she says “come on in” 

Elliot follows her into her apartment, the layout the exact same as his. She’d decorated the place well, it looked like a home. She had tons of plants brightening up the space, as well as wall art covering every inch of space. A lot of color. He noticed her large bookshelf, a gorgeous color-coded collection. Her windows had sheer multicolored curtains which kept her entire apartment incredibly visible from onlookers. She had no tv and a large cat lying in the center of her bed. Her desk sat in front of the window just like his own, giving her a view of the apartments across the street. He wondered if they could see into her space just as well. The thought made him sick to his stomach. 

“Here it is” she says leading him over to the desk, her MacBook sits in the middle of the desk, perfectly aligned with the planner next to it. As soon as he laid eyes on it, he could tell that it was a simple fix. Five minutes max. A part of him felt disappointed that it wasn’t a large project to keep him in her apartment for hours. 

“I see what’s going on, its no problem” he says as he begins typing in a code

“Oh my gosh you are literally a lifesaver, I need this for work like seriously my entire life is on this dumb computer” 

“Fuck me” he curses 

“Elliot what’s wrong?” she asks 

“No I told you, dinner is on me as a thank you” she smiles as she sits across from him in the diner. “What sounds good?” she asks 

“I’m not sure” 

“Well I can recommend their garden burger, it’s one of the best I’ve ever had” 

“Garden burger?” he asks 

“Oh I’m a vegetarian by choice. I watched an animal cruelty doc in high school and now I’m scared for life”

“Okay, I’ll try it” he nods 

“Really? Nobody has ever actually listened to my recommendations before” she laughs 

“If I hate it then that means you’ll just have to take me out again” he says, smiling at her

“Deal” she smirks 

“you’re scaring me”

“How did you get into coding? It seems like such a niche skill” she asks as they walk down the street side by side. His jacket slid over her shoulders. 

“My dad taught me my first code, I taught myself the rest” he shrugs 

“Why?”

“I always found it to be interesting, the power of hacking into something and being able to see all of the secrets someone’s hiding. You can see exactly who someone is, no sugar coating no lies. You can always trust a code” he admits, shocked that he felt comfortable enough to actually say any of this out loud. 

“Have you ever hacked me?” she asks quietly 

“No” 

“Why not?”

“You’re different, not like the rest. You don’t rely on technology to survive. I wanted to know you” he says 

“I’m glad you responded to my ad Elliot” she smiles 

“Me too”

“Do you want me to call Darlene?” she asks 

Elliot stands to his feet and scrambles to his door to see who would be knocking at 9 pm. He looks through the peephole and there she was. He rips the door open and stares at her in concern. Before he could say a word she drops her head as her lips tremble. Tears fall down her cheeks and Elliot panics. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks

“My boss, he asked me to dinner tonight to discuss our big meeting on Friday. But he never even brought it up,  he told me that If I didn’t sleep with him then I would lose my job. I can’t afford to lose my job, Elliot! I love what I do, fuck I don’t know what I’m gonna do” she responds. His body is filled with rage as he takes in her words. 

“What did you say?” he asks 

“I told him I had to go and I ran straight here” she sniffles 

Elliot pulls her into his arms, holding her body close to his as he lets her cry. He clutches onto her hair, smoothing it gently. He’d never been comfortable with touch before, yet at the moment he’d met this girl he wanted to touch her skin, feel how soft it would be. He craved her like nothing before. 

“I’m gonna fix this, don’t worry” he promises as he places a kiss on her head. 

“Please say something!” she pleads 

Elliot had just gotten off of work. He hated his new job. A simple programmer, protecting Allsafe from any potential hacks. The simplicity of it was nice, yet he craved more. He was capable of so much more. He sets his bag down and sits on his couch. He was tired, after he’d spent the night talking to Willow’s boss, he hacked him and exposed him to the police for money laundering. He’d stolen millions. He closes his eyes to attempt to get some rest when a hand slams on the door, pounding angrily. He gets up and opens it to see WIllow. 

She pushes past him and walks into the center of his apartment and crosses her arms. “Did you hack my boss?” 

“Yes” he shrugs 

“He got arrested at work today, they said he was stealing money” she snaps, he does not respond and stares at her blankly. “You can’t just do things like this Elliot!”

“I was protecting you” he says, causing her to stare at him with an unknown emotion in her eyes. 

“Its not your job to protect me, you put yourself at risk” 

“I don’t make mistakes, and I don’t leave evidence behind” he says moving closer to her

“I can take care of myself” she says in a small voice as he stands mere inches from her. 

“I know you can”

“So why do this?”

“He made you upset, he tried to hurt you. He doesn’t t get to go free after that” 

“Why does that matter to you?” she asks

“Because you - you’re everything to me Will” 

“I - what?” she asks 

“I refuse to let anyone hurt you ever again” 

Elliot places a hand on her cheek and kisses her gently. She gasps in shock and melts into his hold. The touch of her skin against his makes him feel alive. This is what he’d been searching for his entire life. Peace washes over his anxious brain. All of the loneliness that consumed his nights melted away. This was it, this was everything. 

His eyes finally focus on her own, noticing the panic in her eyes as her tears threaten to spill. Two years’ worth of memories flooded him. All of the unconditional love and support she’d given him. The hours she held him while his body fought his anxiety. The way she would curl into his chest at night, tucking herself into him. Her loud laugh bounced off the walls of the apartment as she forced him to dance. He was happy, he was loved. And he’d forgotten her. Treated her horribly. She’d never said a word about who she was to him. Despite all of his words she stayed by his side. 

“I remember” he says simply 

“What?”

“I remember us” 

“Don’t fuck with me like that Elliot” she warns, stepping back. He reaches out and grips her arm out of instinct. 

“Your real name is Margaret, after your grandmother, but you go by your middle name” he says, watching as her tears fall. “You’re a Taurus and your favorite flowers are roses even though you’re allergic. You are my girlfriend, the woman I love. You are real”

“El?” she asks  

Elliot pulls her into a hug, holding her as though she may disappear any second. Willow breaks down into tears and cries into his shoulder. Her entire body shakes as she sobs. 

“Fuck I’m so sorry - I can’t even begin to apologize for what I’ve done” 

“It’s not your fault” 

“I left you”

“I knew something was wrong, it wasn’t you. I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me” she says as he wipes her tears 

“You knew?” 

“I wasn’t sure, but I knew that he wasn’t you. I’m just so glad that your back” she smiles

[sonianvmd]

thh characters with a crush on you

warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major

oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much

a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)

also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*

edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY

spoilers under the cut!!

★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★

makoto naegi

when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous

nervous around you, that is

y’all saw how he was with sayaka

if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it

he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes

he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says

you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents

he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually

let’s hope his luck comes through 😁

byakuya togami

now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐

he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you

but it was hard not to

the way you preferred to get to the point

the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him

he's ruthless

anyways

you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources

he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself

and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐

he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials

he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you

but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well

yeah they on his ass LMFAOO

kyoko kirigiri

kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious

she’ll probably just hang around you more

she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly

“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”

hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways

she finds you respectable

if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor

when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO

she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk

take her hand

pls

toko fukawa

y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick

yeah so 😁😁😁😁

no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀️ tendencies

she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast

but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya

i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational

the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again

if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids

you’ll most likely put two and two together

unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways

if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao

she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)

expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift

and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol

calls u a baka 😍😍

aoi asahina

i know y’all all see how she is with sakura

yeah.

aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them

she values you and your friendship very much

bring her donuts

just trust me bring her donuts

she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time

and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it

uh oh looks like we goin for a swim

sakura ogami

similar to kyoko, she’s very calm

despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl

she cares for you and your well-being very much

will indeed go on x games mode for you

the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken

kith her

naow

im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔

leon kuwata

flirtatious ass mf

and he’s lightskin

so this just cannot go well

y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder

yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO

he’s very confident

he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️

but

you feel.. different than usual ??

those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win

but you

he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time

he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance

he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all

he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you

he doesn't tell you in a grand way

probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin

he's chillin

mondo owada

you know

for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader

or just for being in a biker gang period

mondo’s a huge softie lol

yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends

so mfs need to be nice to you

or they gettin whooped

when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO

he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go

“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”

real smooth mondo i think you got em good job

please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny

he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it

but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾

also mondo would call his s/o doll

that is all

chihiro fujisaki

my fav dude in a dress <3

chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there

he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are

he cares about you v much

the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar

and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings

he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you

he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you

not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO

sweet lil boy

i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot

and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”

sobbing i miss him

kiyotaka ishimaru

okay here’s the thing

if taka were to like someone

i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)

or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO

so imma write a lil bit for both

in the case that he was even stricter:

he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place

of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well

if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY

but in the case he let up:

he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students

if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself

if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj

either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands

sayaka maizono

she will tell you

idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol

she’d make sure she’s sincere

she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything

ok bc

while i do think she’d tell you

i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel

like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile

and naturally, you're like :o

and of course you come to support her

and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out

for real this time

she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO

———

i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾

fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁

and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*

bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever

———

edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍

[whumpitisthen]

Récamier

Masterlist

First drabble! This was made as a way to torture my friend who has a slightly unhealthy obsession with vampires. That’s why it’s in first person, I usually write in the third! Anyways, hope you like it. :) 

"So..." - He began. He sounded soft and patient. - "You told me last week you've been having nightmares, ones you’ve never had before."

"Oh, did i tell you about that as well?" You reply, having genuinely forgotten that you told him about those.

"Yes, you have. Has your memory been getting worse as well?" He sounds almost concerned, a look of empathy in his eyes.

"Oh, no, no, I think it's pretty much the same as it always has been...?" It came out as a shaky reply, not confident in your own answer either.  

"You don't sound too sure of that, Darling.” He says, a mocking smile playing on his lips as he notices the reaction the pet name has brought out of you. It wasn't anything big, just a small widening of the eyes and setting of your jaw, but he noticed nevertheless. He seems to really pay attention to you, in a way no-one else has, in a way no-one should.

"Uhmm... I think that's not something to worry about. I just forgot, that's all.” You add with a reassuring smile, ignoring the one that he wore still, though now it's starting to morph into a different one. Looks a little smaller, tight-lipped, overly kind.

He seems to disregard your answer entirely, instead, he pulls himself up a little straighter. He takes a deep breath, momentarily closing his eyes, which allows you just a moment to take a good look at him.

You never told him but you do feel kind of intimidated by him. You know you shouldn't be. After all, he's your therapist. You should feel comfortable and relaxed, like you're just having a nice chat with a trusted friend.

But something about him seems... he just seems-, off, sometimes. You yourself are not even sure what the reason for that is. Maybe it's the relaxed way he keeps pulling his finger up and down on the arm of the chair. Maybe its the slight asymmetrical pull of the corners of his mouth, how on the left side it always pulls a little higher when he smiles. Maybe its the way he looks, distinctly paler than you, almost slickly, so much so, that you had to often stop yourself from asking him "Are you okay?". Maybe... Its the way his eyes seem to change colour, with the different lighting. You have noticed all these things about him in the month you've been coming here. Twice a week. He insisted on two times, even though you said you didn't think you needed it. In the end you decided to give in, he was the therapist after all. He knew what you needed.

"You're zoning out again, Darling. Do you perhaps need a break?"

There it is again. That pet name.

He hasn't called you that before. Or has he?

Maybe your memory really has been getting worse.

"Oh, u-uhm, sorry! No, it's fine we can keep going if you'd like." He seems to believe you, as he changes his position, crossing his legs and leaning his chin on one hand, as if getting ready for a story.

"So, you said something about bad nightmares you've been getting at the end of our last session. I'd like to ask you: Have they gotten any worse?"

You still don't remember actually telling him about them and honestly it’s starting to really bother you. You always have your guard up as it is, trust issues and all that, part of why you’re here, talking with your therapist. But for the life of you, you just cannot remember when you told him about those. Because you surely have. You have. He wouldn’t know otherwise! This is stupid.

"Ah, um. I guess... I-I don't know. I feel like they leave me more... tired? Than before. And I seem to get more exhausted as the days go on. I'm afraid I'll start falling asleep at my job if this keeps up."

He hums. Writes something on his clipboard. "Do you still see that shadow person that keeps following you?"

You don't remember telling him that either. No, shut up, you did because he knows, and the only way he would is if you told him.

He seems to notice your hesitation.

"I'm sorry, would you like to not talk about this for now? We can discuss something else."

His voice feels like it's background noise. Like waking up to birds chirping. They're loud and did wake you up, but you don't mind being woken up by birds singing under your window. It's a welcome way of attention.

It calms you. It relaxes you.

It makes you feel... tired.

"We can discuss the way you've been fidgeting a little more today than other times, I have noticed. Or how you keep stuttering so much. I can see something is bothering you. Can you tell me what it is, Love?"

A different pet name, but a pet name nonetheless.

You don't remember him calling you that before.

You don't remember.

You.

Dont-

"How do you know?"

You blurt out without thought.

You immediately regret it, but ultimately decide to keep the question in the air.

Because you cannot explain away the feeling of anxiety at every mention of those dreams, or pet names, or, or- ...you. It feels wrong, in this moment, to talk about you. It sounds dumb, these are your therapy sessions after all. It feels wrong though. Different. Like this isn’t how it was supposed to go. How else could it have gone?

"Excuse me?" He looks genuinely surprised. You think he might've missed the question, with how fast you blurted it out.

Before you could ask again, or rather apologize for the weird as fuck question, he continues. "How do I know... About what? About...” - He seems lost in thought, thinking about what it might be that you're referring to. His eyes land on his clipboard and stay there for a while, drifting over it. - “...about ...your dreams, perhaps?" He finishes slowly, as if unsure.

"Yes, uh... I... I don't remember t-telling about them... to... you?" You hate yourself for sounding like a scared child. You especially hate that your voice cracks in the middle of it, and you see his eyes widen, just a little, at that.

God, could you be more embarrassing?

"I told you, Dear.” - Another. -”You told me about them last week, didn't you?"

"I-I-I..., um..."

You're unsure of what to say

"I-, ...don't remember." You take a shaky breath, trying to stay calm. You notice the slight tremble of your hands.

"...You seem troubled. Are you quite sure you're alright, Darling?” - He gives a reassuring smile, encouraging you to be confident and tell him if you're not. - “Perhaps, you feel... Hm." He stands up leaving the clipboard on his table. He walks over, as slowly and non-threataningly as he can, putting the back of his hand on your forehead.

"Hm... You don't seem sick. Sweetheart,”- Again. - “maybe we should talk about those dreams. They seem to leave you confused and disoriented."

"Stop."

"Hm?"

"Get off me."

You lean back, away from his hand, and sit up to catch your breath.

He seems perplexed. His hand falls back in place as he gets lost in thought again, looking at you. Expectant. Quiet.

"Am... Am I making you uncomfortable, Dear-"

"Stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop calling me 'darling' and 'sweetheart' and 'love' and 'dear' and-, and... Stop looking at m-me."

He seems to freeze for a second. You're not sure what caused him to do that, but he seems... apathetic. Emotionless. Like he's not there, for just a moment.

He blinks once, swallows, and some resemblance of humanity comes back to him.

"I-... I am making you uncomfortable, is that it." It was more of a statement than a question. "Hm. So you say you don't remember." His eyes wander again. In the end, they come back, and change colour, and you feel like he's 100 metres tall while you're barely an inch.

The lighting didn't change, but his eyes noticeably did. You feel, with every second, more and more anxious, as the eyes keep looking at you, into you, and keep you in place.

Literally.

You cannot move.

You're trying.

The most you can do is flick your eyes betweeen his.

He comes closer now. His hand finds your forehead again, but this time to put a lost lock behind your ear.

He doesn't say anything, simply looks at you. All of you. While you're forced to keep eye contact, his are roaming over the whole of you, taking in every inch, every crevice, every nook and cranny.

As his eyes move the humanity seems to disappear once more and the hand returns to rest on your cheek, then slide down your neck.

As the pressure builds his other hand comes into view, positioning itself on your arm, effectively turning and pushing you down, back how you were before you realised his secret. Because you did, didn't you? You couldn't have just kept playing this little game of pretend between you two. You had to be smart and figure it out.

As you are shoved down back on the récamier, your thoughts are running a million miles an hour. You are panicking and scared and angry but mostly you just wanna run home, curl up under your covers and cry.

The feeling of having forgotten so much makes you wanna break down right there, but even that is denied of you as your "therapist" looms over you, shadowing your face. In the dark, his eyes, that scarlet hue, is so much more noticeable and unsettling.

How do his eyes go from such a pretty black to that mesmerising crimson? That cannot be human.

He leans down, close, close, right over you, so close you cannot see anything anymore but his eyes, boring endlessly into yours.

"Do you know when our last appointment was?"

You think and you feel like you know but you can't actually name the day, date or even time. Not that you could anwser him, not like this.

"Do you feel as if your mind has been working more different than before?"

"Do you feel unsafe, Angel?"

He leans closer, lips grazing your ear as he whispers, even quiter, like a deadly secret.

"Why did you have to ruin our fun, Angel? Wasn't it nice? Pretending? Playing? Why did you have to ruin that, huh, Sweetheart?"

As his voice starts to shake, a little in anger, a little unhinged, a little dangerous, you start trembling through his paralysing gaze.

You still don't remember anything. Not when the last appointment was, not when you told him about the dreams, not when you got here, not where you live, not who he is, not when your own birthday is, not your own name, only Angel, Angel, Angel...

"Does the shadow person ever... touch you? Has he ever talked to you? What did he say? Can you recall? What was it, hm? Tell me Love."

You don't want to. You don't want to you don't want to-

"A-A-Angel..."

"Yes, Love, keep going."

He was suffocating you

His sheer presence.

"A-a... Ang-gel, can y-y-you... can, you-..."

"That's it, keep going, you're doing great, Dear."

"Ange-el, can, can you-u-... can you c-...can y-you come see me-e...?"

"Mhm. There we go. There's a dear."

You feel violated. You feel him climbing on top of you, his weight effortlessly pinning you down even more, as he leans closer. You feel utterly completely absolutely terrifyingly helpless.

"See? In the end, you did remember!" He seems to sound different. He sounds like he's holding something back. Like there's a dam that's about to break and let the water envelop an entire city underwater. Like he's about to swallow you whole.

"Too late now, though. Shame. I was having fun with you. Too bad it had to end so soon. Now, maybe if you look desperate enough, we could do it again sometime? Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Now keep still for me, Angel, this might hurt just a bit. I feel it's only fair i make you pay for wasting my time like that."

[sword-of-summer]

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

[hockeysweetheart]

@mega-aulover  I made you a quick fic   Happy Birthday again 

Name of it ( thinks of one) Baby steps...

This is about Peeta becoming a father and his journey though fatherhood. Now I know how you recently lost your own father so this is another  somewhat honor thing for him as well. I hope you like it...   Hope you don’t cry to much But it is okay if you do I personally had a hard time not tearing up a bit writing this. 

Now it is a little rough but I made it quickly  it could use a bit of clean up... But I wanted to get this out for you 

She shows me the Positive test . She is pregnant I am going to be a father..  This is our first child together...I go and talk to her belly and say hello I am going to be your daddy.. She thinks I am crazy but allows me.  But she is just laughing at me… She tells me “well 9 months from now you will get to meet this child”… I laugh and say “ I can wait”. We Do make an appointment to make she she is pregnant and the baby is doing well. I am giddy as I leave  for work that day. I tell my coworkers and every customer.. I tell them “ My wife Is pregnant”.. they all look at me like I am crazy.

I keep thinking of how I will be a father. The doctor appointments go well. Katniss gets bad morning sickness. But I am there all the steps of the way she has crazy cravings If she wants I try to get or make some combos are weird but I don’t judge.. I read some parenting books in my spare time. Katniss says it’s a waste of time maybe it is but I want to be ready…  Being first time parents for the both of us we are excited.  Katniss’s belly is growing everyday.

Around 21 weeks we find out the gender of the baby.  Well its not until 22 weeks because Katniss’s sister Prim is throwing us a gender reveal party. Nothing big but small…  for our close friends and Family The day comes and of course I bake all the goodies for the party… My coworker makes the cake But Lets me decorate it I have no clue what colour will be inside… Katniss and I cut into the cake and the colour is pink… We are both so excited… we would have been happy with either boy or girl…But I know one thing my little girl will be spoiled she will have her way to get her way with me… How do I know that now Because this little girl will be like her mother and  she knows how to.

We set up her nursery lots of pink for her. It just happened that way. Katniss’s parents buy a lot of clothes for us.   Some were Katniss’s   old baby clothes… I paint some flowers on the wall…

One day we are just watching a show and suddenly Katniss moves off me and tells me the baby is kicking and asks if I want to feel… That is when it hit me for real it was like I was in a dreamland before… I say stumbling “ wow.. Uh... sh.. she  is really in there”… Kantiss looks at me like I said something stupid… and says “ Really Peeta Mellark, you with smooth words are now stumbling” I laugh and say “ I guess this baby left me speechless” I lean in and Kiss her and she tells me “ for someone so speechless you are saying a lot of words”...Before I can speak it is her who kisses me to stop my words…  

Katniss has a few contractions we go to the hospital and they tell us to go home because the baby is not ready yet…

I walk in after work and Katniss is standing in the kitchen with a puddle around her… she says “ I thought I was having a bad contraction and next thing I know my water broke, It  happened a minute ago”… I tell her “ we need to get you to the hospital”…. I walk right out of the door Katniss still standing at the door “ Am I coming to she asks”.. Right I say in my head and go and get her  and guide her towards the car “ Okay honey  don’t walk to fast”… Katniss looks at me “ You are treating me like I am about to burst”. Well the baby could come anytime so she just might…On the walk to the car that is about 2 feet away we have to stop a lot so Katniss can have a contraction and when it’s over we move on… She was literally in the doorway when one hit of the house… When we reach the car I open her door and buckle her in… she says “ Peeta do you have the baby bag” Crap I knew I forgot something. On our last appointment the hospital did help us figure out the car seat so that’s already in.. I walk back into the house and grab the baby bag and walk back to the car. When I get there she is having another contraction I ask her “ Have you been timing those”… She looks me dead in the eye and says “ No I am just winging it over here or course I have that was 2 minutes apart from the last one”…  I drive fast enough that Katniss is not telling me faster… we Arrive to the hospital and Katniss is in a room before we know it… Seeing her in pain is hard for me… All I can do is let her hold on to me..  The doctor comes in and says “ ready to have a baby” if Katniss’s glare could kill she says “ No I am just  here because I really like hospitals”… The doctor gives me a look and I just smirk. I want to tell him “ That is nothing buddy you should see her at home” But I keep quiet..  They check on the baby say everything looks good…  Katniss is in active labor…. When she feels it’s time she is holding onto my hand so tight it hurts but I let her… I support her though it. The delivery nurse says I see the head Katniss you are doing so well one more Push.. She is screaming out of pain this whole time and gives one more push… Then I see my daughter who is crying… They put her on Katniss  she is beautiful and perfect to me. I cut the cord and they take her to clean her up and make sure everything is okay… Then I hold her for the first time… She has my blue eyes and Katniss’s hair colour. She has my nose and Kantiss’s lips… I cannot stop looking at her… I am whiping tears away from my eyes I ask Katniss  “what do you want to name her?” she Answers “Everleigh. Her name is Everleigh” She looks at me and asks “ Do you have a middle name?”… I tell her “ Raine”… Katniss says “ Everleigh Raine I like it”.. Me still holding Everleigh I ask her “ Like your name”… I am wiping tears from my eyes I tell her “ I am your daddy”.. and I give her a kiss on the cheek…  Katniss and I spend a few hours with Everleigh before family and friends come to see her…   I am handing her to family members as they come and visit. I am surprised when My brothers and father comes and see her…  

A few days later we leave the hospital Katniss is healing well. We bring Everleigh back for appointments…  We go home and start our new life as parents… Katniss carries her into the nursery and sets her down in the crib….I walk over at her… Everleigh sleeps though the nights. Sometimes we wonder what we got out ourselfs into but say we wouldn’t change it.

Soon she is crawling Walking and Talking hitting all the milestones… Her baby teeth are coming in. Some nights she keeps us up and some she sleeps though. I remember her first steps Katniss brought her to work and we sat on the floor trying to get her to walk between us and she took her first step… and for the record her first word was dada as much as Katniss says no it was wasn’t.  she is growing way to fast Katniss tells me not to blink and I will miss it..

Next thing I know she is 5 years old. She now has a younger brother… Katniss and I bring Everleigh to school for her first day.. Her hair is in 2 braids and she wears a red plaid dress like I recall Katniss wearing on her first day of school… Ev is a little shy but she warms up pretty quick..  I am fighting back tears my baby girl is growing up too fast for my liking.. It seems like last week she was only taking her first steps

She is now 16 Where did time go. I Have 4 kids now. Everleigh is still my little girl she will forever be…  And same with my other daughter Oakley… My two sons Kaleb and Carson are very protective of their sisters.. all are growing up so fast..  Everleigh sure got her mothers attitude not always a good thing. But she gets good grades so do my other children  Katniss is right you blink and you  miss it. One day Ev comes home and tells us she is interest in a guy. My first instant is to get Katniss’s weapon… But I say when will we meet him… A few days later she brings this tall guy who doesn’t look like 16 he is a year older then her Ev told us. He looks at least 20…  He looks scared when I invite him in good I have done my job… Everleigh comes up to him and says Mom. Dad this is  Nathan Hawthorne… Katniss nearly chokes on her tea at the last name… she tries to cover “ Well that is wonderful honey”. Everleigh asks “Mom what is wrong”  I try to cover “ So who are your Parents Nathan”… Nathan answers “ Gale and  Madge”.. Kartniss lets out a sound Ev says “ Mom do you know him” I grin and  say “ Oh yes she knows him all to well”.. Katniss tells Ev “ Gale and I were friends never in a relationship we tried but then I met your father”…Everleigh  tell us “ That’s great then you guys know each other”… Everleigh asks her voice she knows I have a hard time to say no too “ Daddy can I date Nathan”… I look at Katniss and Nathan and Everleigh and say “ Yes you have my blessing but Nathan you hurt my little girl you will have me to answer too”…

They have been dating for a few months now… Everleigh comes home in tears… Katniss comforts her… I ask her what happened.  She tells us  Nathan cheated on her… I march out of the door and Katniss comes after me and says “ Where do you think your going”… I tell her words I never thought I would say “ To the Hawthornes ”… She says “ Well  you are not gonna stop me from coming are you”… I am shocked and say “ Guess not”… Katniss gets into the car as we drive to Gales and Madge’s house.. I knock on the door and Gale answers the door he says “ Heard our kids are dating” I tell him “ Not anymore”.. He said “ Oh, why don’t you come in”.. I go into their house and Katniss follows she says “ Hi Gale” and walks right past him and gives Madge a hug… we all sit  in the dinning room I explain everything. Madge says “ We had no idea we are so sorry about that” Gale asks “ are you sure its our Nathan we are talking about”.. Katniss says “ Unless there is another  Nathan Hawthorne”… Just then Nathan and another girl walk in… he said  “ Oh  no” when four pairs of eyes look at him…  Gale says “ Nathan where is Everleigh?”… Nathan says “ umm she broke up with me, This is Ashley”… I stand up but Katniss grabs my shoulders.  I get out “ Then why did  my daughter say you cheated on her”.. Ashley chimes in  “ Wait you told me that you guys broke up weeks ago” Nathan starts to sweat “ umm ummm”..  Ashley says “ now your speechless well guess what your single now”.. Katniss beside me is trying hard not to loose it… Ashley literally walks out and says “ Mr and Mrs Mellark I have to go apologize to Everleigh” Katniss says “ you know where she lives she might still be on the couch crying her eyes out”. After Ashley Leaves Gale turns to Nathan and says “ Nate I thought we raised you better then that”…Katniss says under her breath “ Runs in the family” then we leave and head home… When we arrive we  see Everleigh and Ashley talking… Laughing… well at least one good thing has come out of this day… Everleigh has a few heartbreaks and I realize I have to do this again…

A few short years later I am getting ready in a suit.. To Give Everleigh away…  She is now 23. Since she got engaged we reflected back on her life. I still have one more daughter to give away if she chooses to.. Her Husband to be is one awesome guy. He reminds me of myself. He showed me he would put her first.   His Name is Cody Mason.  His mother is Johanna. His father is not in the Picture but Johanna must of done something right. We have known Johanna for a while now… years. Cody is only 4 years older then her… They started dated in  college as My baby girl left to go study at District 7  college… She brought Cody home for one break and I instant knew this man who be my future son in law… The other children are growing up to fast as well as Oakley looks so grown up in that brides maid dress and My oldest son Carson is  going to go to school in the fall Kaleb  and Oakley I still have at home but I will blink and I will prepping for 3 more weddings before I know it. I knock on the door to see if she is ready.. And she looks at me and says. “ Yes I am, The real question is are you ready” With tears threatening to make an apprentice I say  “ never ready to let you go but I know this the right man for you”… Ev gives me a kiss on the cheek and whips away a tear that escaped me..  and gives me a big hug…  We walk down to the chapel the wedding will be in and I get in place and the doors open and I walk her down the aisle.. when I am asked who gives her away I say her mother and I… they give us hugs and I go and sit down and watch her get married… she is now A Mason… I get flashbacks… Everleigh and I share a father daughter dance that is when It hit me..  Katniss and I give a speech …

Before I know it I am In the Hospital room holding my first grandchild…

[teacupfulofstarshine]

living in the real world (ain’t it fun) CHAPTER 6

cw: anxiety attack, driving while tired (DO NOT DO THAT), brief panic, swearing

word count: 2619

chapter 1 // chapter 2 // chapter 3 // chapter 4 // chapter 5 // read it on ao3!! 

“The first experiment we are running today is to determine exactly how far away from Thomas we can get before hitting an invisible wall or suffering adverse effects,” Logan says. Thomas, Roman, and Patton nod at him. Logan pulls up one of his blue mental screens and pokes at it. “Thomas, if you look in my backpack, you should find a tape measure which I brought from your home.” 

“I didn’t even know I owned a tape measure.”

“You own three,” Logan recites. “Two of them are sewing tape measures and the third, which I have brought for our purposes today, is a conventional construction tape measure.” Thomas pulls the clunky black base from the backpack at his feet and hums. 

“How did you know I owned this if I didn’t know I owned this?” 

“Just because you are not consciously aware of something does not mean that it is not known to you,” Logan says. “I am home to a great repository of information that has fallen below your conscious level of awareness. Name three differences between an animal cell and a plant cell.”

Thomas stares at him. “Uh . . .”

Logan sighs. “Plant cells are surrounded by both a cell membrane and cell wall, whereas animal cells only possess a cell membrane. Animal cells are generally round, irregular shapes, whereas plant cells are rigid and rectangular. Plant cells, in addition to mitochondria -”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell,” Thomas and Roman recite, in perfect unison. Logan sighs, again, and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Plant cells also possess chloroplasts, which animal cells do not.” 

“Whoa,” Thomas says. “I really know all that?” 

“Falsehood. You knew it once and then forgot it. As the keeper of your memory archives, I retain this information and can call upon it at will, although I confess that I am . . . better in some situations than others.”

“Is that why I can never remember the answer in time for trivia games?” 

Logan blushes, and the screen in front of him glitches out with some sort of indecipherable error code. “I - well - that is to say - um -”

He adjusts his glasses. “ANYWAY! The experiment?” 

Thomas stifles his laughter. “Right, right, of course. My apologies, Logan. What do you want us to do?” 

Logan adjusts his tie, looking thoroughly disgruntled. “You are going to stand in one place and hold the base of the tape measure. The rest of us will take turns holding the end of the tape measure and walking as far as we can until we hit whatever invisible force is binding us to you. I will record the data, and then we will experiment.” 

Thomas nods. “Sounds reasonable.”

“I am your logic. Everything I say sounds reasonable.”

“Who goes first?” 

“Me!” Patton says, freckles beginning to shine yellow. “I wanna go first!” 

“The order does not matter in this experiment, so I will permit it if Roman is not opposed.”

“Go for it, Padre.” 

Patton eagerly grabs the end of the tape measure and bounces in place while Logan readies his screen. “Wouldn’t a pencil and paper work just as well?” Thomas asks. 

“For the purposes of recording data, yes. However, information that I enter into my screens is then encoded into your brain as short-term memories. When you sleep at night - which reminds me that we need to have a discussion about your frankly abysmal sleeping habits - I can enter the pertinent short-term memories and information from the day into your long-term memory.” 

“Oh.” 

“Patton, you may begin.” 

Patton gives a cheery wave and turns around, beginning to walk. Logan stops him at five feet. “Any changes?” 

“Nope! All good in the neighborhood!” 

Patton walks another five feet, and Logan stops him. “Anything?” 

“Nope!” Logan looks at Thomas. 

“What about you?” 

Thomas rubs his sternum. “There’s something . . . weird, in here. It’s kinda painful, but more so just . . . tight, you know?”

“Are you okay to keep going?” 

“I should be.” 

Logan calls to Patton, who walks another five feet. The tugging in Thomas’s chest is beginning to get more intense, burning slightly, and he can feel anxiety beginning to mount in the back of his mind. “Are you okay to keep going?” Logan asks again, voice gentler. “It is okay if you want to stop, Thomas.” 

“I think I’m okay.” Thomas smiles, but it feels thin and strained. Judging by Logan’s expression, it looks that way, too. Still, he signals Patton to keep going. 

Once he hits twenty feet, Thomas drops to one knee, clutching his chest. The tightburningtightburning tightburningwrongwrongWRONG feeling in his chest is starting to escalate. “Uh, Lo? I hit the weird invisible wall again,” Patton calls. 

“I feel not great,” Thomas says. He drops the tape measure and jerks a hand up in a strange, twisting gripping motion. Patton yelps as he suddenly sinks down, dropping through the earth. Panic spikes through Thomas so intensely that his vision almost whites out, but Patton quickly pops up in front of him. 

“Kiddo?” 

Patton drops to his knees and pulls Thomas into a tight hug. The feeling in his chest evaporates all at once, and Thomas inhales deeply as he shoves his face into Patton’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, breathe, okay?” The purple light of Patton’s freckles bleeds through Thomas’s eyelids as Patton rubs firm, soothing circles into his chest. “I’m here, Thomas. I’m right here. I didn’t go anywhere.” 

“What - what was that?” Thomas gasps. His voice sounds strangled and strange, even to him. 

Logan frowns, kneeling next to Thomas and Patton. “It . . . seems to have been a panic response. Patton is an integral part of who you are. The three of us are literally fragments of your soul. When you realized that Patton was distancing himself from you, you panicked. You needed him beside you right at that moment, and you were able to call him to you.” 

“Do you think I could do that with any of you? At any range?” 

Logan hums, looking at Patton. “I do not know. We could test it, if you are up to that, but I will not force you. Your health and safety is most important here.” He gently puts a hand on Thomas’s shoulder and squeezes it. Carefully, Thomas leans back from where he’s clinging to Patton. 

“Can . . . can you give me a minute?” 

Logan nods. “Of course. Do you want Roman or I to test the distance limits while Patton is with you to keep you grounded?” Thomas looks at Roman, who’s been setting up the picnic blanket a few feet away. 

“Roman, do you wanna go and test it now?” Thomas asks. Roman nods, drawing his sword. Panic spikes through Thomas’s chest, but Patton hugs him a little closer, and it ebbs away. 

“Fear not, Thomas! I will return unharmed!” 

“Just take the tape measure, Roman,” Logan sighs. 

*~*~*~*~*

Roman and Logan both make it twenty feet away before they hit the same invisible wall as Patton. Thomas doesn’t feel the sick, twisting, cramping, heart-rending fear that he had when Patton walked away from him, perhaps because Patton is right next to him. Thomas is no longer curled in his lap like a child, but he does hold Patton’s hand. 

“Twenty feet for both of us, as well,” Logan says, swiping across one of his schema. “It seems that is the hard limit for our distance from you.” 

“What’s next?” Thomas asks. 

“That gesture you did to . . . summon Patton to your side. Do you think you could replicate it?” 

Thomas lifts his hand in the same gesture, but nothing happens. “Huh.” 

“What were you thinking when you summoned Patton?” 

“I was . . . anxious. I was thinking about how much I needed him at my side immediately, about how much I needed him with me before something really, really bad happened. I wanted him next to me.” 

Logan hums. “I am going to walk approximately ten feet away from you. Once I am in position, I want you to make that summoning gesture and think about me appearing by your side. Do you think that you can handle that?” Thomas nods “Okay. I am going to walk away.” 

Thomas keeps his eyes locked on Logan’s form as he walks, turning and nodding at Thomas once he’s in position. Thomas inhales, jerking his hand up, thinking about how he wants Logan next to him. Logan drops through the ground like a ghost and pops up next to Thomas, looking slightly ruffled. “That was . . . an experience.” 

“Did it hurt you?” Patton fusses, reaching over to pat at Logan’s torso and arms. Logan shakes his head. 

“The sensation of sinking and rising was . . . strange, but I am uninjured.” Thomas smiles at him. 

“That’s good.” 

“Yes, well. Alright, Roman? It is your turn.” 

*~*~*~*~*

They perform a wide variety of tests before breaking for lunch. Thomas eagerly digs into one of Patton’s sandwiches. “This is perfect!” 

Patton grins, face shining yellow with joy. “I’m so glad, kiddo! And I made cookies for dessert!” 

“No processed sugars until after you’ve eaten a healthy lunch,” Logan says disapprovingly. Patton grins at him and wiggles a sandwich at him. “Wh - is that -”

“A jam sandwich!” Patton says. “With that Crofter’s stuff that you love so much. I know you can’t resist this, Lo!” 

“I have a name,” Logan says testily. He still takes the sandwich, tearing into it and making a soft, pleased humming noise and smiling broadly as he settles cross-legged on the picnic blanket. Patton hands Roman another jam sandwich, and he makes a joyful noise. 

Patton tries to eat a cookie, but Logan glares at him until he smiles guiltily and picks up a sandwich instead. “Can’t slip anything past you, can I?” 

“No, you cannot,” Logan says. His chest puffs up a little in pride as he takes another bite of his sandwich. Thomas smiles, softly, and takes another bite of his own sandwich. 

*~*~*~*~*

They learn many things during the course of the day and its experiments. Logan dutifully distills them into a numbered list.

1: Twenty feet is the maximum distance any of them can get from Thomas before hitting an invisible wall. They cannot go any farther than that. 

2: If a side is twenty feet away from Thomas and they both walk at the same time, they can move as long as both of them move in unison in the same direction. 

3: Thomas can summon any of his sides with a hand gesture as long as he is thinking about calling that side to him. If he isn’t thinking about calling them to him, the gesture is ineffective. 

4: The sides can refuse a summons if they try hard enough, but they all admit to feeling a painful tugging burn in their chest that gets stronger and more painful the longer they resist. 

5: Because Thomas is the source of Logan, Roman, and Patton (Logan names him “the Host”), he can directly control their actions if he gives them a direct command. 

(“Is that why you and Roman stopped talking when I yelled at you to shut up when you were fighting?” 

“Yes, I believe so.” 

“I’m so sorry, Logan, Roman. I - I didn’t mean to control you like that -”

“It’s alright, Thomathy! We know you didn’t mean to!” 

“It is not your fault, Thomas. You did not know. But now we do know, and we can work on this together.”) 

6: The sides do not know anything that Thomas doesn’t. They are, however, repositories of any knowledge he has accrued over the course of his life. Specifically: 

Logan can access knowledge and facts 

Roman can access ideas and daydreams 

Patton can access memories and emotional catalysts 

“That’s a lot,” Thomas says. Logan flips the schema around to show Thomas, but it just appears to be random shapes and squiggles. “I . . . can’t read that.”

“Of course you can’t,” Logan says. “This is a representation of your subconscious thought processes. You cannot comprehend it with your conscious mind.” 

“But you can understand it?” 

“I cannot ‘read’ it in the traditional sense that you would read a book, but I can understand it. I can connect it to the information that you have learned. Would you like me to send it to you for processing?” 

“Processing?"

“Patton and I are in charge of recalling your memories and knowledge, but your subconscious processes it. That is not us. I will give you this schema, and then it will integrate into your subconscious to be processed at a later date.” 

Thomas nods. “Okay, Logan. Do what you need to do.” 

Logan places a hand on either side of his schema and compresses it, inhaling slowly as he does so. The schema condenses and collapses into a little ball of dark blue light in Logan’s hands. Thomas doesn’t know when Logan closed his eyes, but when he opens them again they are solid blue and glowing. He steps forward, holding the schema tightly, and presses it against Thomas’s forehead. 

Thomas expects it to hurt, but in truth it doesn’t feel like anything at all. The schema dissolves into his forehead, and Logan shudders as it phases out of his hands. “Transfer initiated,” he says, voice flat and monotone. 

“Uh . . . Logan?” 

“He gets like this sometimes,” Patton says. “Give him a couple minutes. He doesn’t directly control the processing of information and memories, but he has to wait for the schema to phase out of his grip and into the subconscious. He’ll be alright.” 

Almost five minutes later, Logan stirs for the first time. “Transfer complete.” He blinks, and his eyes become normal again. He drops to his knees in the grass, and Thomas surges forward to catch him. 

“Whoa, Logan. You okay?” 

“Yes,” Logan murmurs, pressing a hand to his forehead. “I . . . have never done that in this manner before. It was draining, but . . . I will be alright.” 

Thomas carefully lays Logan down on his back on the picnic blanket. “Take a breather, Logan. Just rest here, okay?” 

Logan looks up at the darkening sky and laughs. “Look, everyone. Look.” 

Thomas looks up, into the warm late-spring-early-summer night, and watches as the stars begin to appear. “They’re beautiful.” He blinks, rubs his eyes, and frowns. “This . . . those aren’t stars, are they?” 

“Fireflies,” Logan says, sitting up slowly. One of them flutters down and lands on his nose, and Logan blinks, going cross-eyed to look at it. “Oh!” 

Patton laughs, face shining yellow, and the fireflies flock to him. “They must think I’m one of them! They’re really lightning bug-ging out, aren’t they?” Roman sprints around the field, catching fireflies in his hands and bringing them back to Thomas. 

It’s a pretty wonderful time. For the first time since the sides manifested, Thomas doesn’t feel the persistent anxiety digging its claws into his chest. 

*~*~*~*~*

Thomas knows he shouldn’t be driving. 

Patton, Roman, and Logan are slumped together in the back of the car. Patton is fighting to stay awake, but he’s not really succeeding; Roman is snoring against the window, and Logan is leaning into Patton’s shoulder, breathing evenly. Thomas is barely awake himself, but he wants to go home. 

The road is dark and winding, and all of the trees blur together as Thomas drives. He blinks once, twice, three times, lifts a hand off the wheel to rub his eyes. He hears Patton mumbling to himself as he starts to drift off, and Thomas grips the wheel tightly. 

“Stay awake,” he yawns. His head starts to lean forward, hands sliding off the wheel. His chin hits his chest, but before he can fall asleep properly, someone shrieks in his ear. 

“THOMAS SANDERS, WAKE THE FUCK UP AND GET YOUR EYES BACK ON THE FUCKING ROAD!” 

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 2 』

· Sept. 26th → One Ball, Heart and Soul ·

Characters: Sawamura Daichi, Testurou Kuroo, Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru, Terushima Yuuji

Prompts: A. favourite position/role + B. travel/journey

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: I found it so hard to pick a favourite position/role, because they're all so interesting and important, and I love everyone 😭 But I settled on the role of captain because of the headcanons I thought of. Captain Sqaud, assemble! So, want to find out what these boys are like on a road trip?

(Just to be clear, I do love all these guys. None of this is hate 😂) All my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have some NSFW stuff on my blog, too. Feel free to check that out~ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Dad-chi™

Comes prepared with all the food, drinks, snacks, med kit, camera – literally everything you could possibly need on a road trip

Plans out the route beforehand down to the tiniest detail nothing gets past this man

As well as multiple backup routes in case there's diversions etc.

Plans for regular breaks at two-hour intervals where everyone can pee, stretch their legs, buy anything they need, etc.

He's the one who's driving he's not letting anybody else get a scratch on his van, lmao

And he's good at it

No speeding he's a cop, y'all but he doesn't dawdle either, no running red lights, turns corners well, keeps an even foot on the gas, etc.

Just a good time, tbh

Nobody is getting car sick because of him that would be a damn disgrace

"Stop fighting right now, or I'm turning this van around"

And will actually do it if you don't stfu, lmfao

Don't even think about making a mess and dropping your rubbish in the van you'll be walking home

Everyone else thinks his music is boring and for old people, but Daichi honestly doesn't care

Besides, it's either that or no music at all, because he needs to concentrate on the road

He takes this shit seriously. People's lives are in his hands, dammit!

☆ Testurou Kuroo ☆

Likes to switch between driving and riding shotgun/being designated navigator

Is fairly decent at both

Is constantly eating something but, like, he probably doesn't even know what it is

Some kind of edible is shoved towards his mouth by whoever's riding shotgun, and in it goes shut up. Not like that, you cretins 😂

Somehow manages to behave like an overbearing grandparent and an overexcited child at the same time?? Nothing new there, I guess 😂

I'm sorry, Kuroo, I love you. Please don't be mad 😭

Has a banging playlist full of throwback songs from the 90s and early 2000s

Drums along sofly on the steering wheel or dashboard constantly

HATES driving in rain he's low-key terrified he's going to aquaplane

Likes driving with the windows wound down and feeling the wind in his hair

Will plan the route, but then forget to save it/print it off, etc.

Cannot work Google Maps or SAT-NAVs to save his life Kenma, please help him

Actually packs properly balanced meals, but is heavy on the snacks, too

You'd think he'd drive too fast, but he's actually really responsible

Constantly telling dad jokes to try and keep people amused the groaners are the best

Would probably fight someone at the gas station if they started being a dick and causing trouble

Kuroo, baby. I love you, but please don't get arrested 😭😂😭

☆ Bokuto Koutarou ☆

Dear God, do NOT let him drive leave it to Akaashi, I'm begging you

Has really bad spacial awareness in a vehicle and drifts all over the place

Probably speeds without even knowing it, too

Likes to ride shotgun, but is a terrible navigator, so is nearly always made to ride in the back

Is the loud one that moves around too much and blocks the rear view mirror strap him in tight, Akaashi

Belts along at the top of his voice to whatever music is playing, he's not fussy

Was told to pack essential items in his backpack and proceeded to fill it with sweets and snacks and a pack of condoms??? and thought he did good

Bokuto: Bro, you said they were essential

Akaashi: NOT FOR EVERY SITUATION

Rarely ever has to pee, but when he does, it's always miles away from any service station, and he has to hold it for hours

Has definitely peed at the side of the road multiple times because he couldn't hold it any longer, but he wasn't even embarrassed as numerous cars zoomed past

Likes sticking his head out the window like a dog on the motorway which gives everyone else heart attacks

Like, get the hell back inside you maniac 😭

If the car has a sunroof, he's 100% standing up through it with his hands in the air just you try and stop him

And they will. Everyone will try

"HORSES!!"

Will get out of the car in traffic jams to find out what's going on and end up chatting with random strangers until it starts moving again

And he's very sad when he has to leave his new friends. Droopy hair and emo Kou for the next 2 hours :(

Unironically enjoys playing 'I Spy' for hours at a time

Is a bit much to handle in such a confined space for hours on end, but he's just so excited for the road trip

Will fall sound asleep in a matter of minutes if you set him up with a travel pillow and it's freaking adorable!!

☆ Ushijima Wakatoshi ☆

No music whatsoever it's distracting. Why would he want it?

Okay driver, brilliant paper-map navigator

Will sit and do absolutely nothing but stare out the window the entire trip if he's neither

Breaks too hard and accelerates too fast, though

Is also kind of heavy-handed with the gear stick he may or may not have snapped one off before...

Never give him a SAT-NAV, though, because he will follow the directions with 100% accuracy and end up driving through a wall or some shit don't try and deny it

Does he ever even blink when he's looking at the road? We may never know

Might be astral projecting, who knows

Forgets people need toilet breaks but refuses to make unscheduled stops

"Just hold it in"

Uh-huh, sure. That's how that works, Toshi

No snacks

Or rather, no fun snacks. Protein bars and mineral water all the way, babyyyy 🙃🙃🙃

Could probably drive all through the night without taking any breaks but that's irresponsible

Don't do it, kids

Will likely devour the entire KFC menu at the service station he's big, okay? He eats a lot

Is prone to leg cramp after long drives oh look, he needs a massage 😏

Doesn't get car sick. Ever. Upset stomachs are for the weak

Has garbage and recycling pouches on the backs of the front seats use them correctly, or feel his wrath

Isn't exactly a barrel of laughs, but it's somehow endearing just like always *happy sigh*

But it's actually a good thing

There's no hidden side to Ushi or any bad or annoying habits that come out of the woodwork on a long road trip

He's just the same old reliable, adorably straightforward Ushijima ❤

☆ Oikawa Tooru ☆

Calls shotgun and demands the aux cord every. Single. Time but it's pretty decent music, so no-one really complains

Not that he's any good at navigation pray for Iwa-chan

Is constantly taking selfies, making TikToks, and documenting the trip on his social media

#ROADTRIP #SQUAD GOALS #BETTER THAN YOU

Will send all the photos in the group chat when it's over, and they actually come out pretty well

Will not stop complaining if the air conditioning is busted and Iwa-chan will threaten to dump him in the middle of nowhere if he doesn't can it 😂

Iwa-chan: I shoulda left you on that street corner where you were standing

Oikawa: But'cha dIDN'T

Bonus points if you get that reference, lmao

Has to keep taking breaks because his butt hurts when he sits down for too long because it's fLaT

I'm sorry, Tooru 😭😭 Forgive me. I love you, really

Is constantly on his phone

But he points out pretty views and interesting sights to everyone all the time awww

Low-key needs to pee all the time, but gets defensive if someone brings it up please stop bulling him, travelling is hard

"Are we there yet?"

Seems kind of annoying, but is actually just genuinely excited to go on a road trip and spend time with his friends 😭😭

Buys matching souvenirs for everyone in secret to surprise them with 🥺

When people complain about all the photos, souvenirs, and enthusiasm, etc. and ask why he has to keep doing it, Oikawa says:

"I want to remember as much of this as possible. I want us all to remember as much of this as much as possible," with a sweet little smile 😭😭😭

And that's when everyone realises how mean they've been to him about being over-the-top and irritating, and they all feel terrible

Just like in the freaking anime, man

☆ Terushima Yuuji ☆

Will hijack the aux cord to play his incredibly niche music taste

Feet up on the dashboard when he rides shotgun

Shoes on is bad enough, but shoes off just stinks up the entire car you have to roll all the windows down, lmfao

Will break all sorts of road laws if you let him behind the wheel please don't

Daichi will come and arrest him 😭😭

Lives on energy drinks

That's all the drinks he packs. Nothing else

Travels in sports wear and sliders yes, even though you reallly shouldn't drive in sandals

Like he knows or cares 😭

Will chat to girls at the gas station and ask for their numbers, even though he's never going to see them again

"You never know, man! It could be, like, fate or something"

Yes, Yuuji, you do. And it's 'or something'

Thinks it's a good time to sext his current booty call because, like, he has hours of free time. What else is he going to do?

Probably forgot to pack actual food

Has to live off of snacks and cheap service station food for the duration of the trip

But not his own snacks, of course. Everyone else's one doesn't keep friends and buy one's own snacks

Genuinely doesn't realise if he's being gross or annoying, so let him down lightly like a bro and he'll probably make an effort to stop

Doesn't plan the route or anything, even if he's driving. Just punches it into Google Maps as he sits his ass down on the day and trusts it to get him there in one piece and on time

Entire Johzenji team: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

For some reason knows how to change a flat tire, though, so he's good for something, I guess 😂😂

Probably saw a YouTube video on it. Maybe a WikiHow article

Somehow still manages to be an endearing part of the trip??

He smiles a lot and makes a lot of jokes, particularly when things go wrong, so it keeps everyone's spirits up

It definitely wouldn't be the same without him

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[danetobelieve]

A Couple’s Home Is Their Castle || Rio and Winston

When: 24/08/2020 Who: @3starsquinn & @danetobelieve Where: Rio and Winston’s home. Summary: Winston and Rio keep working on the defenses that they’re slowly building up around their house.  Warnings: n/a

Winston looked at the large spotlights that they had just finished attaching to the roof of their home. Ricky was down in his workshop grafting away at a new set of fastenings for the next set of defenses that they were affixing to their house which left Rio and Winston the job of actually installing the stuff to the house. A job that was more difficult for normies. But when you could use magic and your boyfriend had a serious degree of supernatural strength then everything was honestly a little bit easier. As Rio held the large frame of the bank of UV spotlights in place, Winston finished fastening it to the roof, made sure that it was secure and then gave it a slight rattle to see if it was done. “You know, I don’t think i could move this even if it was going to fall off,” Winston admitted, “do you wanna test it?” The bank of spotlights was something that they had been working on for a while. The idea was that they were basically security lights. Except they would shine out UV light (they were technomagically enchanted with a variety of runes and high powered LED bulbs). In theory they would stop vampires from getting too close to their home. In theory. The truth was Winston wouldn’t know until they tried it out. Which they hoped they’d never have to do. But better safe then sorry, especially when Miriam might be involved. 

Orion liked watching Winston work. Considering all of the other thoughts that were constantly running through his head, this was a more than welcome distraction. And considering the whole love potion fiasco, Rio considered himself lucky that Winston was being as cool about it as they were. Even if it wasn’t Rio’s fault and Winston had insisted that the two forgot it ever happened. Rio’s body was still sore from the spawns, but he happily stood out and held the light into place as Winston worked on it. After it was completely fastened, Rio switched just group and began pulling at it, feeding only a small bit of his hunter strength into the motion. He didn’t want to accidentally rip it free, though he wasn’t sure he was necessarily in the best shape to do that anyways. Afterwards, Rio scratched at the wounds of his arms over his sleeves and winced at the pain. “This is incredible. It’s too bad we don’t know any vampires to test this with. I mean, not that I’d want to burn them or anything.” He studied the mechanism and glanced back and forth between it and Winston. God, they were so cool. “What can we do next? Please don’t make me go back into my room again. There’s only so many video games I can play.” 

Somehow the sweetest and kindest person who had ever existed had managed to get themselves hurt again. Winston had all but forgotten everything to do with the love potion, although it had been tough to accept, Winston had worked through it and they’d been able to put the whole thing behind them. That was the way it had to be. Rio had hardly been consenting and Winston hadn’t admitted it yet but they really cared deeply about Rio, maybe to the point of loving him. But this was their first relationship and they didn’t want to knee jerk anything until they were completely sure. “You really think?” Winston asked curiously, “Honestly, you remember when we had that month of perpetual night and there was a shit load of vampires out there just snapping at everyone’s heels all the time, well that was when me and Ricky decided that it was time to start taking the safety of this place a lot more seriously.” With their developments in technomancy, well automating everything was only easier. “Oh, I know we’ve installed everything up here but don’t get excited about being with it yet.” Winston couldn’t help but tease Rio, he looked so cute when he was teased. “I still need to hook this up to our AI in the house so that we can literally go like defenses on or whatever and the house will become a safe zone, or as safe a zone as you can have in White Crest.” 

“Of course I do! You’re like a tech genius. Anything you do is incredible.” Orion shrugged, as if this was the most natural thing to say in the world. Rio remembered back when they had first met. Rio had troubles giving anyone an abundance of compliments, afraid he was going to come across as weird or desperate. Now, Rio practically told anyone that he could about how great Winston was. It was a welcome change, one of many positive changes that Rio had begun noticing after moving in with Winston and Ricky. “Yeah I remember. It didn’t make doing things at the Scribrary easy. I mean, for people without night vision I mean. Well, I’m glad this place will be safe.” Luckily, Rio didn’t have much of an issue seeing at night. But it had certainly been creepy. He wished there were defenses against hunters they could do. “Oh. Great. So we’re staying on the roof then?” Rio crosses his arms and poured, “Guess it’s good I’m not scared of heights or anything.” He laughed sarcastically and readjusted his hold on the machine, holding onto it in case he slipped. “But that sounds super cool. So do your thing.” Rio couldn’t offer much in terms of technology and was here based solely on his muscle, by some weird sense of irony. But he supposed he could offer some suggestions. “You know, and I hate even suggesting this, but my family replaced all the doorknobs on the house with silver and pure iron.” He made a face at the idea of following something his family did, but depending on the threat, maybe it wasn’t the worst idea. “Not silver, obviously. We know too many werewolves. But maybe we can do something with the iron?”

“You’ve tasted my cooking right?” Winston replied with a chuckle, “Because not even your sweet sweet lips,” Winston winked in the most exaggerated way they possibly could to show that they were joking, “cannot convince me that my cooking is incredible.” The scribrary was going to be a perpetual work in progress for Winston, they weren’t sure if they would ever complete everything that they wanted to do with it, but the fact that they didn’t have to carry a flashlight with them at all times was refreshing enough. “We got all the lights fixed though,” Winston replied with a smirk, “so we’re definitely making progress.” Looking around, Winston shook their head. “Don’t worry, we won’t be up here for too much longer, we’ve just got to thread the wires down through the roof and then Ricky has said it’s cool if we set everything up for the connection in his room, he’s going to be in his workshop for a few more hours anyway so if we’re quick we shouldn’t even take up too much time or space.” Winston quickly and expertly began threading thick spools of wires through the hole in the roof. “Can you just like slowly give me slack on the wire until we’ve got it all through, and then we’ll go in through Ricky’s skylight because I’m way too lazy to climb all the way down and go in through the front door.” Heights bothered Winston too, they didn’t want to be up here any longer then they had to be. But it was easier to not seem bothered by stuff when Rio was around. He made it easier to be confident. “Uh, well we’ve got some fairly crude salt traps for ghosts, we could definitely include like iron and silver traps too, but I’d rather not have them in the doorknobs, it makes it difficult to bring anyone who’s fae or like you said a werewolf over without warning them not to touch the doors.”

Orion considered Winston’s statement. Sure, Winston’s cooking still probably beat Rio’s own. More due to the fact that Rio never actually tried to cook. The little that he knew he knew from cooking with Ricky. Who frequently took over jobs when Rio proved hopeless. “Not everyone can cook like Ricky.” Rio stayed neutrally, blushing at the comment about his lips and scratching nervously at his neck. Okay, so not all the butterflies were gone. But could Rio be blamed when Winston said stuff like that? “The Scribrary has come farther than I ever thought it would. So even if we never do anything else to it I’m going to count it as a win.” Of course, neither of them had any intentions of stopping their progress. The Scribe HQ was really important to Rio. Outside of being filled top to bottom with knowledge and a source of escape from Rio’s old life, the Scribe building attributed to how close Rio and Winston were now. If they hadn’t run into each other that night or started working on the place together, who knew if they would be as close as they were now. Rio would probably still be awkwardly crushing on them in secret. “You got it, boss.” Rio gave Winston a thumbs up and then moved over to hold onto the wire to help out. He loved the skylight idea, mostly so he didn’t have to stare at the ground and try to get down. “I completely agree. The last thing I’d want is for someone like Ariana to burn her hand try to come visit us. I want this place to be safe against threats. So I also want it to be safe for any of our friends that aren’t human.” It was strange, acknowledging that some people weren’t human. For as long as Rio could remember, he had considered everyone human. Undead, werewolf, Fae. But he remembered his conversation with Morgan and the one with Athena about Ariana. Not everyone wanted to be referred to as human. He was still getting used to that. 

“Honestly, for someone who only eats meat or fish, I find it almost a little bit disconcerting that he is so good at cooking things that he can’t eat without getting sick. It’s like some kind of unfair super power.” Winston was honestly still glad that they were living with both Rio and Ricky. The two of them made their life so much easier then they had previously imagined that it could be. Grinning gently at Rio, Winston nodded. “I know we’ve still got tonnes of work to do, but with every step we make and everything that we do to make things like a bit more accessible it all seems a bit easier you know.” Winston shrugged to themself and Rio before continuing. “I was actually thinking that we should back up both of the databases, cause I know we back up the Scribrary here and vice versa but it’s probably not a bad idea to back both of them up just in case there is a truly cataclysmic event or something that could damage both locations, which although it sounds unlikely when it comes to White Crest I guess that you can’t be sure.” Laughing at Rio once more, Winston finished threading the wires through the hole in the roof before turning to Rio and pulling open the skylight. “After you dude, and yeah, exactly. I would ideally like to be able to turn everything on or off so that depending on who comes here we can make sure that nothing we have in the house hurts them. Just because someone is fae or something doesn’t mean they’re definitely bad but I also think it’s a good idea to have different things in place that can work with both, I don’t know, it’s just an idea and obviously all the houses defenses are still a work in progress. I’ve not got the autoturret prototypes anywhere near working yet, they don’t aim for shit and the firing mechanism doesn’t work properly either but we’re starting to really make progress on everything else.” 

“Right? He has an unfair advantage.” Not to mention his human body was sculpted like some sort of Greek god. It had made talking to him very hard that first night the two had met. The infatuation didn’t last very long though, just until the two actually became close friends. It had been a common trait with most of Orion’s crushes. That star-eyed butterfly feeling mostly disappeared after getting to know them. Winston has been the exact opposite, that feeling only getting stronger and stronger the more time they spent together. “It’s a good idea. I was thinking it wouldn’t be bad to find someone else to keep hold of the information. Y’know, someone trustworthy obviously. If we start building this like we want to, we’re going to need to add in some more people eventually.” It was something Rio had thought about a lot recently. He had ideas of people he could ask, but he wanted to be really careful not to just pull in friends or people he liked. He needed to be smart about this. He wasn’t trying to create some fraternity or book club. He wanted to make a difference. “I’m not trying to hurt anyone. Just keep us safe.” Rio was slowly starting to realize that sometimes the two had to go hand in hand. It wasn’t a fun realization. Lots of existential crisis involved in that inner monologue. With the skylight open, Rio climbed down into it and then jumped, hitting the floor of Ricky’s room and rolling. It wasn’t graceful by any means, but Rio wasn’t injured. “I can’t believe we’re actually casually talking about turrets right now. With anyone else, that would scare me.”

“He’s also just a competent adult which isn’t something that I feel like I’ve ever been able to achieve,” Winston replied with a laugh. Winston raised an eyebrow and bit their lip. “Well there are options, someone like Nell or Bea or Luce could work but I don’t know if they’re impartial enough with their coven involvement, there’s also someone like Leah who’s already got her own library of information and I think that she would understand just the sort of discretion that this needed,” Winston honestly wasn’t sure if they were really the right person to be deciding who  should or shouldn’t be involved in all of this, they were still so new to everything that they didn’t think that they could be impartial. “I just worry that if I have to pick someone then the obvious temptation is going to be to just pick my friends and you know that isn’t exactly a good idea.” Biting their lip, Winston slipped into through the skylight after Rio, landing far less gracefully and not managing to roll at all. “You make that look so easy, but yeah I get you. I just know that there’s a bunch of people that have either threatened me or would threaten me with death if they knew the actual truth about me -- also known as a witch hunter -- and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a relative safe haven in which we could offer people in need a place to go should everything go terribly terribly wrong.” 

“Y’know? Valid. I wish I was half as competent as he was at adulting. I only got book smarts.” Orion laughed, though it hadn’t entirely been a joke. He often felt like the only thing he could actually contribute was an uncommon amount of storage he kept in his memory for historical facts. He was starting to learn that maybe he could bring more to the table. Just like many had told him, maybe this strength of his wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. “Leah? I know her name. Nell is supposed to introduce us.” A library? That was certainly interesting and something Rio would have to remember when they met. “I know what you mean. My first thought was Blanche. And I think she’d be great but I didn’t know if I only thought it because she was my best friend. Maybe we should make a pros and cons list!” It was one of his nerdier ideas, only made nerdier by the fact that it genuinely excited him. Winston followed after Rio, dropping onto the floor and wobbling against it. “You okay? I have uh- lots of practice falling from things. You didn’t hurt your legs did you?” He studied Winston’s legs for a minute before swiftly averting his eyes and trying to focus on what they were saying. “No. Yeah. Totally. I agree, safe haven is good.” Rio had heard about the witch hunter. He didn’t like the knowledge before, but now knowing about Winston and Nell and others he really didn’t like it. He crossed his arms and his sleeves rubbed against the wounds, a pain shooting through them. Rio was ready to ignore it before he realized that he didn’t have to wear it at all. “Hey uh- this is probably a dumb question, but…” Rio paused, not sure how to ask without sounding weird. Why did he feel so awkward about taking his hoodie off? Probably because he had never gone without it around anyone that wasn’t his family. “Do you mind if I take this thing off? It’s hurting my arms.” He had pulled his arm through the first sleeve but didn’t want to do anything without Winston’s approval. He had the short sleeved shirt under his hoodie, but his arms weren’t always easy to look at.

“Everyone has different abilities and different skills, unfortunately I think that Ricky got all of the practical and useful skills and the two of us got all the useless ones that are only good at Trivia nights.” Winston grinned. Spending anytime with Rio was always a pleasure but he was so similar to Winston in so many ways that sometimes it was night just to spend time with someone who had such similar views to them. “Leah is cool, she was one of Bea’s friends when they were younger and so I kind of know her through Nell and Bea, but she’s really cool and really nice and really really helpful. When I was struggling after Bea’s resurrection she was the one who really helped me work out how I could get rid of all that excess energy.” Chewing their lip, Winston nodded. “I think that Blanche would probably do great at it, but the truth is that she’s also my friend so I don’t know for sure if I can objectively say that, I guess my only concern is that she has lots of people constantly coming to her for help all the time when they probably shouldn’t and I don’t want to give her more tools to make things worse for herself and put more pressure on herself. I think that the scribrary is also a tool and not one that should be used lightly.” Dusting themselves off, Winston stretched a little as they got to their feet. “Nah, I’m okay, just not nearly as graceful as you.” Winston didn’t really realise what Rio had meant at first and frowned a little as they looked at them confused. It took them a minute to work out exactly what Rio was asking. “Oh, please of course, you don’t have to check with me if you don’t want to be wearing that sort of thing.” Winston quickly crossed the room and pressed a kiss to Orion’s lips. “I don’t care and it’s none of my business what you wear, you always look cute with or without the long sleeves and if you’re comfortable then so am I.” 

“At least together we’re always going to win first prize?” Orion questioned, shrugging and hoping to find the silver lining in it, but he was giggling the whole time. Clearly, Rio and Winston had found a way to put their talents to use. Even if Rio’s only real contribution was an impressive memory for weird historical facts. The Scribrary was the perfect place to hone that talent. Rio nodded along as Winston explained Leah’s connections to the Vural’s and Blanche’s connection to… well everything. Rio was certainly intrigued by Leah, the girl who Nell said could help him learn more about Phoenix’s. From the sounds of it, she had more knowledge than just that. As for Blanche, Rio didn’t want to overwhelm her. And he didn’t want to ruin his only chance to get things with the Scribes kicked off again. He was positive she would make a good addition, but he didn’t want to rush anything. Not yet. “Good points. We will think on it more. We don’t have to rush anything. Especially since right now we don’t even really know what we’re doing.” That was the truth, at least for Rio. He knew they were going to continue archiving the Scribe information, but he still needed to figure out exactly what he wanted to do with it. All he knew was that he wanted to help people. They needed to figure out the how. But for now- Did Winston just say that Rio was graceful. He started snickering to himself, “Wow. I didn’t think anyone would ever call me graceful. That’s really sad for you.” With Winston’s approval, and a bonus kiss, Rio pulled the rest of the hoodie over his head and tied it around his waist. The sudden exposure in front of someone still felt incredibly weird. Weirdly enough, Rio didn’t even feel that awkward in the short sleeves around Winston. Rio supposed it was a testament to how much he cared about and felt comfortable around them. “Thanks. Seriously uh- I’ve never really walked around with a hoodie on so… it’s weird. But not with you. It’s just- god it’s so much less hot without that thing on.” He sighed into a laugh and gave a quick thumbs up to Winston, his way of thanking them for offering their support to Rio, “Okay, let’s get back to work.”

“I certainly hope that we’d always win first prize.” Winston had only ever been able to rely on their intellect in life. The rest of them hadn’t been exceptional in anyway, but being smart and having magic were really starting to get them places. “Plus with the amount of time you’re in college and the amount of time that I’m working, and the amount of time that we both seem to spend getting caught up in supernatural messes, well it is all something that is a bit much too plan to actively restart the Scribe chapter straight away, we definitely need other people to help and we could probably do with more resources then the two of us have at our disposal.” In that moment Winston wished that they had more money. Sometimes it felt like money fixed everything. Especially when it came to starting a supernatural organisation dedicated to recording supernatural phenomena. Laughing with Rio, Winston shrugged. “Sometimes I guess you have to just accept that your shortcomings are your shortcomings and move on with your life, grace isn’t something that I’ve ever possessed in any real quantity.” Pleased that Rio didn’t feel the need to keep from taking off the hoodie, Winston returned to their work, carefully and neatly winding the wires through the rafters with magic before taking them in their hands and continuing the work when they were at a level that Winston could actually reach. “Rio, you don’t need to say thank you for not wearing a hoodie, if you feel comfortable enough doing it then you know you’re totally fine doing it right, I don’t care as long as you don’t care y’know. It’s like, the people that matter don’t mind and the people that mind don’t matter.” 

What Winston said made a lot of sense. The two would need more help, and they would need people that specialized in things that the two of them didn’t. Orion tapped his finger against his chin as he considered all of this. “I’ll start putting together a list. Try to figure out exactly what we are going to need and who may be able to help us, but-” Rio knew the thing that they were really lacking. Funding. “Well, I know we said we don’t want to pull in friends, but what we don’t have is money. Right now anyone that could offer to help us would be more volunteering their time like we are.” He shrugged it off, realizing that wasting time stressing over it now was useless when Rio was here to try to help Winston arm the house. “But that doesn’t matter right now. I’m going to start a list of what we need and then we will start thinking about it.” Rio settled in with Winston, what they were working on now wasn’t something that Rio could provide much help in, but he enjoyed watching them work regardless. “Yeah, yeah. I know. I get what you’re saying but all I’m hearing is ‘I’m Winston and I’m adorable and amazing and support my boyfriend no matter what’” He put on his best Winston impersonation but giggled the entire sentence through. Not that Winston would accept the thanks, because that was the amazing kind of person they were, but Rio couldn’t find a way to describe his gratitude that Winston didn’t act bothered by his appearance. It was only because of them that Rio felt comfortable right now. “So what are you doing right now? With the wiring?” 

“Definitely, I can do the same thing and maybe once we’ve actually got some more time to look into this we can compare our notes and see what the other was able to come up with.” Winston knew that money was going to be an issue for a little while and they weren’t sure how they were going to solve that specific issue, but for now it was an issue that wasn’t pressing or urgent and it was certainly one that Winston could live with. “We can work all of this out soon, ideally we would be able to find some sort of donor or someone who could fund this for us but this isn’t like a university grant system and they were already hard enough to get in the first place.” Winston quirked an eyebrow thoughtfully as they pressed on with their work. Letting out a slight chuckle, Winston shrugged at Rio and gave them a quick smile. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it, ignoring all the compliments which thanks for those by the way, but yeah, I will support you no matter what because what’s the point of going out with someone if you’re not going to be there for them all the way, all the time, no matter what.” They didn’t even need to ask Rio about whether they’d do the same for them because they knew without hesitation that they they would. Focussing on their work, Winston grinned. “So, we’ve got power cables because this is going to take up a lot of power,” Winston indicated a bunch of the cables, “then we’ve got these, I’ve installed solar panels on the back of the lights and those feed down into a generator and battery set up that I’ve got in the basement of the house so that our power bill isn’t monstrous when or if we ever have to use these things, plus we should all invest in renewable resources anyway if we can…” Winston pulled a final wire out of the bunch and wiggled it for Rio to see, “this is an ethernet cable, it connects everything up there to the internet and to our computer and AI system so that everything works on voice command, at least that’s the theory.” Making magical tech work was an entirely different story.

“Deal!” Orion agreed, happy that he had Winston here to work through this with. Everything seemed easier with Winston’s help and support. “It’s sort of crazy to say, but honestly I’m not even stressed about it. And I’m usually stressed about… well, everything.” That wasn’t even an exaggeration, “I think I owe that to you. I mean, I also owe it to Ricky and Blanche and Ariana and everyone else. But with the Scribes stuff, you keep me grounded.” As Winston explained what they were doing, Rio peaked from behind Winston and rested his chin on their shoulder. His hands were flat against the ground, supporting him on either side. He pressed a quick kiss against Winston’s cheek from behind and turned his attention back to wires that Winston was fiddling with. “Have I mentioned that I love watching you work?” Rio was trying to get more comfortable with banter like this. Being able to openly compliment and flirt with Winston because the two were dating. It was still an odd feeling. “But in all seriousness, I love the idea of it being voice command. As long as I can’t accidentally voice command it to activate the turrets or something. But this is like the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You know that we’ll get there in the end, just like with the scribrary and the house defenses, I think these things naturally take time.” Winston pursed their lips thoughtfully before bobbing their head in agreement with Rio. “Maybe it’s just a sign that you’re getting more and more mature then you already were and you’re getting better and better at handling all the stuff that the world throws at you, sure we’ve helped, but you were the one who has done all of the hard work. We’ll all obviously keep helping you, but you’re the one who’s doing the lifting you know, you can’t forget that. You shouldn’t either.” Winston gave them a reassuring smile. “But you know, you really keep me grounded too.” Running a hand over Rio’s cheek affectionately, Winston returned to their work as Rio watched, explaining everything that they did as they worked. “I’ve noticed that you love watching me work, I always just assumed that everyone thought it was boring, but I guess you not being bored by me is why we make such a good couple.” Winston returned the kiss before laughing. “I’ll make sure that the voice command to set off the turrets requires double verification or something so that you don’t have to worry about that, but considering that on some scale the house is going to be powered by a magic spell that I’ll be weaving as it goes, you’ve kind of got to bear in mind that once this all goes off it’ll feed off of my energy a bit, I know you won’t fuck around with it, but yeah, don’t fuck around with it … lol.” Winston was right back to being awkward. Great.

“Bleh. Ew. My one greatest weakness.” Orion feigned coughing and grabbed at his heart for dramatic effect. The joke was meant mostly to distract from the compliments and avoid having to agree with Winston that Rio had anything to do with his own growth and development since moving in with them. He’d rather give all the credit to his friends and the others that had helped him stand up to his family and leave. “But that’s good. I want you to be able to feel as comfortable as I’m able to feel around you.” Rio had that thought about it a lot recently, especially after the love potion. Once it began wearing off, it was so easy for Rio to say that he never loved Blanche. Because that wasn’t what love felt like. Rio was pretty sure he knew what love felt like now. It all seemed so obvious. “I don’t know how people couldn’t find this stuff fascinating. Technology is so rapidly evolving so watching someone work with it and learning how to wire things and-” Rio stopped himself, realizing that it actually did sound pretty boring just talking about it, “Y’know what? Now that I’m thinking about it I think it’s just you. I just like watching you specifically work.” Rio nodded and crossed his heart as a promise, but found himself smiling by how Winston’s voice trailed off awkwardly. Since the two had spent so much time together, the two didn’t sound nearly as awkward as they had when they first became friends or first started getting feels for each other. “Ooh. I can’t believe I’m the one not super awkward right now. It’s really cute.” Rio pokes at Winston’s cheek playfully, “No worries about me accidentally using the AI for evil. I don’t even like asking Siri to do too much for me.” 

Winston knew that Rio was not very good at giving themselves compliments and they also knew that they were worse at taking them, so they would just continue giving them compliments until it was so normalised for them that they had no other choice but to accept them. That was the plan. “Of course, I do, like, you wouldn’t believe how comfortable I feel around you, you … I guess I just trust you without any hesitation.” Raising an eyebrow, Winston secured cable ties and plugged things in, making sure that everything was neat and tidy as it did run up through Ricky’s roof. “I’m glad that you admitted that you’ve just got a bit of a thing for watching me work because honestly sometimes when I do the stuff you love to watch even I am bored, there are definitely things that you’ve obviously just got to get done you know, but I appreciate you keeping me company, it makes everything a bit better and less boring then before.” Laughing gently, Winston shrugged. “I can believe that i’m the super awkward one, I know you think I’m not as awkward as you, but social situations don’t always come easy to me, people are less easy then computers.” Probably because they didn’t just think in ones and zeroes. “I don’t worry about you accidentally using the AI for evil, I worry that someone will upset Ricky and he’ll set the autoturrets on them for not being polite or something.” Winston joked, they were pretty sure Ricky wouldn’t do that … right? 

Knowing how comfortable Winston was with Orion was probably the greatest compliment that Rio could receive, and certainly one that he was willing to accept. The trust between the two of them was something Rio had always wished he could have with someone but figured he never would. “Same to you. It’s good to have someone that I know I can come to with anything. And i’m glad you know that you can do the same with me.” Sure, not everything could be the most exciting thing on Earth. But one of the greatest things about the mutual comfort Rio held with Winston was that the two had the ability to work around each other and be completely comfortable and entertained. The two could probably just lie on the floor across from one another and Rio would be content. So maybe all of the actual work itself wasn’t the most riveting, but Rio loved watching the way Winston’s hands fiddled with the project. Or the way their nose scrunched as they processed something in their head and the switch in facial expression once they finally worked it out. Watching Winston’s break work through their passion was sort of incredible. “I’m here to hang out whenever you want company. And I can also dip whenever you need time to focus.” It wouldn’t hurt Rio’s feelings. “Yeah, you’re right. I mean, we can’t all be like Ricky. Or Nell. Or any of the other social butterflies. But I think you have a certain charm with people. Even if you don’t think you do.” A lot of people in town seemed to know them and like them, so Winston must have been doing something right. Rio chuckled at the thought of Ricky messing with the turrets, mostly because he knew that Winston was joking and probably wasn’t serious. At least mostly. “Yeah well, let’s just keep an ear out for that to be sure. Otherwise, I think you’ve got a really good start. I feel safer already.”

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 23: 1x29 Operation Annihilate!

I’m very tired but at least I’m done with work for the year! Now to...set about furiously writing because I’m behind on like 3 different events, including, most egregiously, Chopped. Woah well. Here are some thoughts on the FINAL EPISODE of TOS season 1.

This ep isn’t messing around with the drama. Very first scene involves chasing a ship that’s flying into the sun.

Sam! I have a lot of Kirk brother feels even though tbqh they’re entirely about a relationship made up in my head. Like, there’s not really a lot of canonical Kirk brothers content, in either TOS or AOS (okay, nothing in AOS...technically...) but in my head it’s like this whole Thing and I’m obsessed.

This is one of the most beautiful planets in the galaxy I guess? Looks a lot like generic California to me. Cool architecture though.

I think I missed the explanation of what this planet does lol.

Sam is a research biologist.

His wife has such a weird name that I sometimes think of her as an alien but I guess they are all human. Less interesting lol. She might become an alien in HAICG but probably not.

All the people are in their homes, hiding out. I know this is to save money on extras, and then in-universe I guess because people hide from that which scares them, even when that’s pointless, but all I could think was “they’re self-isolating.”

Kirk and co. go to Sam’s lab to find him, but his whole family is there... do they... live in the lab?

We finally meet Sam...and he’s already dead. So bitter about this.

I remember a specific close up of just Sam’s face where it’s super obvious it’s Shatner with a mustache but this seems subtler... has it been edited, or am I mis-remembering?

Spock doesn’t know what to say. Does he really “understand” lol? He wants to be comforting though.

Guess Aurelan calls him Sam too. Thought that was only Jim.

I remember someone on tumblr pointing out that Jim beams down to the top of the stairs just so he can walk down them dramatically and now I can’t unsee it.

I’ve also heard people make fun of the aliens but I legit think they are alien looking and scary and gross. “It’s not life as we know or understand it.”

Been a while since we saw Christine and here she is.

“Spock’s readings are strange... even for him, which is saying something!”

“If you can’t do this, get another nurse!” What other nurse lol? This whole ship has a medical staff of 2.

“His body’s full of tentacles.” That is legitimately disgusting.

This is a very bad day for Kirk.

Spock’s on the loose, we must catch him--oh how convenient, he is here on the bridge!

Must...pinch... Captain...

“I apologize for that mutiny attempt back there. We’re all good now.” And miraculously, he actually is.

I HAVE MY OWN WILL. LET ME HELP. Interesting phrase there!

The needs of the few do outweigh the needs of the many. He MUST save Spock. And his nephew.

Is Spock, uh, hypnotizing himself? I don’t know if I believe that Vulcans can just stop themselves from feeling any pain.

“I was confined to sick bay. I unconfined myself.” He is really determined to run this errand. This needs to be the attitude I take toward my errands.

Bad ass Scotty. “Captain, your space husband is trying to escape.”

Kirk is so in love. “Your logic, as usual, is inescapable.”

McCoy just wants his patients to stay put.

I love when McCoy just randomly examines people.

“Your affection for Spock.” That’s one way to put it.

I feel like it took them way too long to figure out that the sun produces light. “What are the properties of the sun?” / “It exists.” Starfleet’s finest minds, everyone.

These creatures are sort of...like vampires. In a way.

Cool specs. I want a pair of those (prescription).

“The best first officer in the Fleet!”

“I am also quite blind.” What a drama queen. He knew he was blind already, obviously, he just needed to bump into something and make a big production out of announcing it.

And then literally seconds after blinding Spock, the tests they were ALREADY RUNNING come back and they realize that they never needed to use the blinding light. Like... I appreciate the drama but omg you dumbasses. And you call yourselves men of science. It wasn’t even like they hadn’t thought to do the tests. They were doing them!

Jim’s mad now.

Ew, gross, disintegrating vampire creatures. Clean up is going to suck.

I feel McCoy’s grumpiness about the weird eye thing lol. Unexpected...optic nerve...thing. Except actually it’s the eyelid? Developed to respond to “the brightness of the Vulcan sun”? That Spock just FORGOT he had? Very suspicious. I suspect more manufactured drama.

Uhura’s really enjoying this banter.

YOU FORGOT ABOUT HIS VULCAN EARS.

This whole last scene is so good. If you’re going to go on hiatus for 6 months, this is the way to do it.

I legitimately love this episode. Yes, there were moments when Kirk and friends were kind of dumb: taking forever to think about light (not buying McCoy’s line about how “light isn’t harmful” because first of all, there are nocturnal creatures on Earth so the idea that a living being might not like the sun isn’t weird, and second, even if it WERE weird, these are ALIENS so--think more broadly!); and being so quick to test out the light on Spock (while the results from the first test were still ongoing!) but I’ll forgive them that. Everyone has blind spots. Even very smart people can get caught up and not think about stuff that seems obvious as soon as they realize it. Plus, with the tests on Spock in particular, I can see how the urgency of the situation, the excitement of coming up with a potential solution, Spock’s desire to be free of the pain and also to be Dramatic again, and Kirk’s general commanding presence, might have all combined to lead them to jump the gun.

Also they totally forgot about Peter by the end lol. I mean we assume he got the same light treatment that Spock and the planet did but he’s also an orphan so...where does he go lol?

But other than that, pretty perfect episode! Got some good K/S moments. Some Kirk family stuff, even if it’s not a big element and also probably superfluous given that Spock being injured gives Kirk exactly the same personal stake as a family member being injured does. GREAT alien: I’m always here for any ep that can reasonably sneak in an “it’s not life as we know it” line. I like that they’re one giant organism, but spread out over a great distance; they’re using people for their bodies, to build ships and basically be their colonizers for them; they infect people in a gross and scary way; they’re defeated in an unusual manner. Basically, a great combination of Alien, as in unusual, and frightening.

And it’s a PERFECT triumvirate episode. A lot of focus on all three, and on their strengths. A philosophical problem that puts the difference between Spock (we must destroy the comparatively few to protect the many) and McCoy (we cannot kill that many people for any reason) into stark contrast, and then sets up Kirk as the fulcrum between them (we’re not killing anyone, now or later, just find my a solution--that great combo of optimistic and commanding). Kirk gets a special spotlight appropriate for him as Captain: he has to make these big decisions that could lead to a million deaths, while also thinking about the people important to him. Spock gets a spotlight that emphasizes his Vulcan nature. Mccoy gets a spotlight that emphasizes his role as doctor. They all get to interact together in a way that shows their real affection for each other. There are great moments like them all squashed in the doorway, or when Spock is blinded and Mccoy has to hold Kirk back from helping him TOO much. The banter at the end is easily among the top end-scene bridge dialogues of the season. And it’s a good note to end on because it sets up the importance of the triumvirate going to S2.

I am not going to take a 6 month hiatus lol. Next time, probably next week, not really sure, is Amok Time! Truly a wild choice to start out the season.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[hermannsthumb]

I’m stuck in bed w tonsillitis, can I pls pls pls have a bored and sick Newt fic because I am also bored and sick?

OF COURSE.... sending all my love!!!! here are some pen pal era boys and newt with tonsillitis just for u

Hermann would never reveal this to Newton, but one of the reasons he saved up and sprung for a smartphone in the first place--or perhaps the only reason--was so that he could properly keep up daily correspondence with Newton. His ancient flip phone, with its tiny three-letter-a-number keyboard, simply wasn’t up to task when it came to matching Newton’s constant stream of texts. Nor were the international rates remotely affordable. He can send Newton pictures now, those funny emoticons Newton loves, text him over wifi, and, even better, they can video chat whenever either of them want.

Unfortunately, Newton appears to want to video chat right no, right in the middle of Hermann’s afternoon Calculus lecture, and Hermann’s made the grave mistake of leaving his ringer on and his phone buried in the very bottom of his tote bag with no way he can possibly subtly switch it off. He talks through the first two times, certain that Newton will recall the five hour time difference and the fact that Hermann has a job and stop any second now, but after three more times he admits defeat. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment,” he tells his students, with forced calmness and gritted teeth, and then begins digging through his bag.

He finds his phone on ring number six and declines the video call, only to discover that Newton’s blown up his phone with dozens of text messages as well, all some variant of either begging Hermann to pick up his phone or telling him that it’s an emergency!

Hermann immediately feels a pang of guilt for ignoring his friend for so long. “We’ll end early today,” he announces, scrolling down, and down, and down through Newton’s texts. “I’ve got a bit of an emergency, I’m afraid.”

There are murmurs of pleased surprise, and Hermann’s students begin quickly packing up their laptops and bags, but Hermann beats them all out the door. He answers Newton’s next video call on the first ring. “What is it?” he half-shouts at the screen, preparing himself for the worst. The video feed on Newton’s end finishes loading, and he’s face-to-face with Newton--

--at home, in bed.

“Hi,” Newton says, sounding as if he has a bad cold.

“What’s the matter?” Hermann pushes, though he slows to a halt, half-out the front doors of the university building. “What’s the emergency?”

“Oh,” Newton says, looking moderately surprised. “Right. I forgot I texted that. I’m just bored.”

Hermann hangs up.

Newton rings again, and Hermann picks it up very begrudgingly. “I cancelled my lecture for you,” he announces. He does not tell Newton that he’d been halfway to purchasing a one-way flight to Boston, nor that the webpage is currently still open in his phone’s browser. 

“You did?” Newton says, sounding incredibly pleased. “That’s so sweet. Thanks, Hermann.”

“That wasn’t meant--” Hermann begins to hiss, furious, but a small group of his first-years scurry by him and he shuts his mouth. (He already unintentionally terrifies them enough. Best not to give them any more reason.) He tries again, mildly calmer. “I was under the impression you were in the hospital. Or dying. Or both.”

“I mean, technically,” Newton says, “I’m dying of boredom. And I was in the hospital.”

Hermann startles in surprise. “You were?” he says. He supposed it would explain Newton’s radio silence over the last few days.

“Tonsillitis, baby,” Newton says, which would also explain why his voice sounds--like that. “I can’t eat jackshit. Or leave bed. It sucks.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to--”

“Literally anything,” Newton says. “You could read me the phone book and it would be more exciting than this. Do you know how many episodes of House Hunters I’ve watched?”

“You could change the channel,” Hermann suggests.

“Hermann,” Newton whines.

It’s not even four in the afternoon. Hermann’s bus home isn’t due to arrive for at least another half hour. He sighs and finishes the walk to the bus stop bench, then sits down. “Oh, fine,” he says. “What would you like me to talk about?”

Newton beams at him and wriggles into a sitting position, and Hermann is struck by how strangely endearing he looks, with his baggy t-shirt and messy bedhead. (Damn Newton and his infuriating ability to distract and beguile Hermann at every turn.) “I don’t know,” he says. “I kinda expected you to hang up.” Hermann feels another pang of guilt. “Uh, what’s the weather like there?”

Hermann squints at the gloomy grey sky. “Overcast.” He recalls the report he heard over the bus radio that morning. “We’re meant to expect rain.”

“What’d you do today?”

“I ate breakfast,” Hermann says. “I taught, but I left early, on account of an annoying colleague--”

“Jackass,” Newton says affectionately. Hermann smiles. 

“You ought to get some sleep,” Hermann says, moderately softer. When Hermann had his tonsils removed when he was ten years old, he remembers doing nothing but drinking sugary tea, assembling small models in bed, and sleeping. Mostly sleeping. (He also remembers being wildly displeased with the amount of school he had to miss.) Besides, Newton does look quite exhausted.

“Will you keep talking to me if I do?” Newton says. Hermann’s got twenty-five minutes to his bus. He can spare the time. He nods, and Newton looks pleased once more. “Talk about your latest research or something.”

Hermann snorts. “You must think so highly of my work if it puts you to sleep that quickly,” he says, and--to his surprise--embarrassment instantly clouds Newton’s features.

“’S not that,” he says, averting his eyes from the camera. “Your voice is...nice. I just like it.”

“Oh,” Hermann says, and hopes Newton cannot see his blush. “Er. Thank you, Newton.”

Newton says nothing else, so Hermann launches into a brief summary of his latest, and yet-to-be-published, research, research he’ll undoubtedly be sending off to Newton to peer-edit and peer-review in less than a weeks’ time. As he speaks, he watches Newton settle back down into bed, his eyes drift shut, his lips curl into a little smile, and by the time Hermann’s bus comes--by the time Hermann hangs up with an identical smile on his face--Newton’s sound asleep.

Feel better, Hermann texts him, and, after a moment’s consideration, adds a small heart emoticon.

[wheelthefridge]

in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:

bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago

sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it. 

*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing

me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:

sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!

joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing 

dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2"  dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion  dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—

joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book

didi: is eating a pistachio  katherine: is that sour cream

sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles 

joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her 

katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me

katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener 

sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here

sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes

adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready

something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*

mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries 

sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars

sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day

katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much

sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly

someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids  kerry: pizza bj: vodka 

sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good

edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good. 

sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it 

bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that. 

sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now  sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again 

joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy

bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah

edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*

sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over  me: it’s barely started  sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car

bob: hi sam sam: hi bob  didi: hi sam sam: fuck off

joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker  katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen

joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off 

bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money. 

bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.  

colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying 

katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him

sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat

bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy.  bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…

bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that. 

bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well. 

dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks 

bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good. 

bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?

bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really. 

bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm

nancy: I’m sleeping

sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!

sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine

bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*

sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice 

bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda. 

bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm.  bob: *screams*

radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??

sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow. 

bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands  bj: bob has gone offline

katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters. 

bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time

bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey! 

didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you  didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here 

bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but

random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix. 

bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up 

bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*

sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??

bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor. 

bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet

bj: cheeeesy. 

laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go

caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*

bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it

caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish

bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets 

bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like

sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers. 

bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child

bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*

ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!

mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good. 

sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!

caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning

dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away 

sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*

bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun. 

bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel

bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!!  laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble. 

sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*

bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!

katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know 

bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!

bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you

bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is

guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah

sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks. 

sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it

sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up

bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven

sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one. 

bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home. 

bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice. 

me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe. 

danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?

sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one. 

me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it. 

danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up

sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home

bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine. 

bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!

danny: sorry casey  me: what for  danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah

didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die

danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!

sam: is that a chicken patty  sydney: it’s my dog

sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight

sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up

[goodnightmoonvale]

92 truths tag

RULES: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

Tagged by @radio-charlie . . . sort of

LAST:

drink: water

phone call: idk, I don't answer my phone

text message: to my husband to tell him I was on the way home from work

song you listened to:  There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At The Disco

time you cried: Tuesday at my therapy appointment

HAVE YOU EVER:

dated someone twice: no

been cheated on: probably. Given that I didn't realize what was probably happening until we were already broken up, I'll likely never know for sure

lost someone special: no one I love has died yet. I'm worried I'm not going to deal with it well when it finally does happen

been depressed: oh yeah

been drunk and thrown up: nope! I've never even been drunk, lmao

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

made a new friend: yes? I hope some of my Discord peeps would count me as a friend . . . 

fallen out of love: nope

laughed until you cried: I honestly don't remember. Probably. I get giggly when I'm tired and I've been tired a lot this past year

met someone who changed you: yeah, I mean every friend you make changes you a little, right?

found out who your true friends are: I honestly don't really label someone as a friend unless I am pretty sure I can call them a true friend for the most part

found out someone was talking about you : no, I am usually completely clueless if people are talking about me

GENERAL:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Uh, well, there is exactly 1 person I follow on Tumblr who I went to high school with, but she doesn't know it's me (it's not weird; she's a semi-popular comic strip artist and lots of people follow her) Otherwise I keep my Tumblr pretty separate from my real life

do you have any pets?: nope, our apartment doesn't allow them and also my husband doesn't really like animals 

do you want to change your name?: Naw, my name is fine

what time did you wake up this morning: 6:30am

what were you doing last night: eating, putting the kids to bed, working on more work stuff, doing the dishes, staying up late for no reason

name something you cannot wait for: spring, I'm getting pretty sick of this Seasonal Affective Disorder shit, yo

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: Yep, one of my friends in highschool was named Tom. He was very tall and big and had a loud voice and played Gaston in Beauty and the Beast (but was actually one of the nicest guys I knew)

what’s getting on your nerves right now: my back/neck has been tense for like 3 days and it keeps giving me a headache

blood type: uh forgot, A+ maybe?

nickname: "Orenijūsu" by my dad when I was a kid, "Spiderman", "La Reine", and "Butterfingers", all by a particularly nickname-prone supervisor in college, "Moon" and "Moonie" by my Discord peeps. I don't have an actual nickname that someone calls me on a regular basis anymore (tbh my real name is fairly hard to nickname especially since I got married and changed my last name)

relationship status: married

zodiac sign: Scorpio

pronouns: she/her, they/them

favorite show: Mythbusters

college: Brigham Young University, aka BYU

hair color: brown and hot pink atm. Need to bleach the rest of it and dye it purple again.

do you have a crush on someone: nope

what do you like about yourself: my singing voice. 

FIRSTS:

first surgery: wisdom teeth (yeah, they put me all the way out because they had to chip my wisdom teeth out in little tiny pieces)

first piercing: the normal earlobes ones

first sport you joined: softball

first vacation: uh . . . I think we went to Disneyworld when I was 3 and don't remember; idk if that counts as a first vacation or not though

first pair of sneakers: literally no idea

RIGHT NOW:

eating: shredded wheat

drinking: the milk out of the bowl

i’m about to: take a shower and go to work

listening to: Effington by Ben Folds

want kids: yep! Got me some :) I'll probably have another one in a few years

get married: already am :)

career: marketing

WHICH IS BETTER:

lips or eyes: both are good ;)

hugs or kisses: hugs! You can get them from more people

shorter or taller: idk, I'm fairly short so not many guys are shorter than me 

older or younger: around my age? Not too much younger for sure, a couple years younger and everyone starts seeming like a baby. But I feel like dating someone too much older would be weird

romantic or spontaneous: are those opposites?

sensitive or loud: sensitive. Loud people make me nervous bc my family is fairly quiet

hookup or relationship : relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. I'm kind of terrified of getting in trouble, I don't want the person I'm with to rachet up my anxiety

HAVE YOU EVER:

kissed a stranger: mmmmm, nope

drank hard liquor: nope

lost contacts/glasses: no, don't wear 'em

sex on first date: nope

broken someone’s heart: unfortunately. I was just out of a serious relationship and not looking for anything too serious and he sprung "I love you" on me like 3 days after we kissed for the first time. In retrospect it was probably good I got out but I did it in the most dickish way possible, so that's still one of those things that I think about at 3am when my brain is showing me a movie of all the awful and awkward things I've ever done in my life

been arrested: nope

turned someone down: see above

fallen for a friend: yes - was friends with my husband for a couple years before I realized I liked him

DO YOU BELIEVE:

in yourself: depends on what I'm doing, I suppose

miracles: theoretically yes. have I seen any in my own life? Not sure

love at first sight: attraction, yes, love, no

I don't think I have 25 individual people to tag in this so if you read this consider yourself tagged (seriously I would love reading your responses if you want to do this but I hate pressuring ppl into stuff and this is super long so only do it if you want to. But tag me if you do so I see it!)

[scriptshrink]

Bad Psychology: Netflix’s “Gypsy” (Part 1)

CW: alcohol, suicide

So Netflix made a show about a “therapist,” starring a woman I forgot the name of who is essentially a Knockoff Nicole Kidman (and thus will hereafter be referred to as “KNK”). In summary, KNK is a therapist who is bored with her marriage and decides she wants to sleep with a client’s ex-girlfriend that she’s heard him describe in therapy.

This show is a garbage fire. It’s so bad. I only managed to watch the first two episodes and I have never in my life regretted wasting as much time as I did on it.

As someone studying to become a clinical psychologist, this show’s portrayal of therapy makes me want to scream and tear my hair out. This show promotes an extremely inaccurate portrayal of therapy that may prevent people from seeking the help they need. It gives therapists a bad name. As such, I feel the need to set the record straight.

[Gif: Picard from Star Trek: “What you’re doing here is unethical. It’s immoral. I’ll fight it.”]

Note - This post has been broken up into two parts: this part deals with my therapy-related critique, and Part 2 will be my general / random thoughts about the show (including the fact that the very title of the show is a racist slur). 

Let’s get started. God help us.

The first time we see her in therapy, KNK is writing nothing but the word “boundaries” over and over in her notes. Very professional. That’s definitely going to help jog your memory when you’re typing up session notes later. /s

Actual dialogue:

Old lady client: I haven't seen [my daughter Rebecca] in two months. She barely answers her phone. So this weekend, when she canceled, I blew up! Why do you think she's avoiding me?

KNK: It's impossible for me to speculate on Rebecca's life. I only have access to you.

Client: I think she's just busy. If she were dating, that would be a good enough reason. I used to hope that she wasn't picking up because she was having sex. [laughs] That would be fine by me, you know?

KNK: I understand your concern, but by giving her space, you might show her that you're respecting her boundaries.

Client: I'm furious... that she won't give her mother any time. Her job is more important. The gym is more important. Even her weekly blow-out every Monday. That she has time for. And I've been to that salon. It’s really not very nice.

KNK: Rebecca loves you, Claire. Just give it some time. Emotions change like the wind.

[Gif: Morello from OITNB resting her head on her hand, smiling and marveling at the stupidity, “Do you hear yourself sometimes? Like, when you speak?”]

KNK, you cannot say that the client’s daughter really loves her. You said yourself that you can’t speculate about her. You have no fucking idea if it’s true.

Just stop.

Different Client: *tells story about having to drop out of school because she was caught stealing money for drugs and how her mom has lung cancer*

KNK: *uncomfortably long blank stare*

Immediately cut to KNK ordering wine at a coffee shop (in the middle of the day, no less) to try to impress the client’s ex-girlfriend she wants to bang.

BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SHOW ACTUAL THERAPY IN A SHOW ABOUT A THERAPIST

Wait. I think I figured it out. KNK isn’t really a therapist. She’s a fucking voyeur. She doesn’t actually want to help anyone. She is taking lurid pleasure in her clients’ vulnerability and pain.

Oh, and speaking of wine, KNK is drunk or drinking in about half of all the scenes she’s in. She drinks wine at lunch and goes back to see more clients like wtf. 

...Hold on. I take it back, this could actually be a good thing!

[Gif - Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.”]

Please for the love of god anything to get KNK to stop spewing her unethical nonsense.

Oh, man. The supervision scenes (where KNK meets with other therapists and they discuss their clients and stuff) are fucking hilarious.

KNK: He shouldn't marry her.

Therapist 1: Uh, that's not for us to decide. We're here to address his issues, not make his decisions.

Note - “Uh” here translates roughly to: “what the fuck is wrong with you, did you not pay attention during literally the entirety of your graduate education? We fucking learned this day one and were reminded at least once a month for literal years.”

KNK: I'm sorry. I just feel like we've been hearing about his rampant cheating stories for the past year straight. And now he's getting married.

Therapist 2: Well, behavior change takes a long time. And he's made growth in his commitment to his relationship, so as long as he's showing up for sessions and putting the work in--

KNK: I'm not questioning that we support our patients, but if they keep making poor choices, maybe we need to change tactics. It's just disheartening that sometimes all we can do is help them keep their head above water.

Because respecting your clients’ agency and keeping your clients alive is boring and sad.

Also, KNK could not be more condescending in this scene if she fucking tried. Just fucking look at her:

[Image: KNK looking patronizing as fuck, “I’m not questioning that we support our patients…”]

Therapist 1: Jean, remember, our job is not to do the work for our patients. Sometimes we're just here to listen, to be a sounding board. And realize that you can't fix everyone.

KNK: Yeah, I know. I get it. Trust me, I have tried. But I am just tired of sitting in that office listening to the same old story week after week with no results. It's frustrating.

I dunno, KNK...maybe you could try doing actual therapy, not just sitting in your office twiddling your thumbs while listening to your client?  Like...maybe try CBT or DBT? Teach your client some coping skills?

Oh, right. That would involve a level of competency that KNK clearly does not have.

[Image - KNK at a supervision meeting with other therapists. KNK: “And now she’s questioning the value of therapy, the value of me.”]

Newsflash, KNK - your client is questioning your value because you’re a worthless therapist.

OH SHIT STOP THE PRESSES. She’s actually giving her client homework! Like a real therapist might! I wonder what it is!

Oh. She wants the client to sign an oath not to contact his ex-girlfriend, who KNK is trying to bang.

Seriously, that’s the homework.

Because if he contacts his ex, there’s a chance he’ll find out about KNK trying to bang her.

Fuck you, KNK, you selfish unethical asshole.

Oh, also, a former client of KNK’s is evidently accusing her of something (unspecified as of the end of episode 2). This is KNK’s response.

[Image: KNK: “Yeah, well, she’s borderline. She’ll say anything.”]

Really. REALLY???

Now. It’s an unfortunate fact that some therapists don’t treat their borderline clients well. But what the actual fuck. Do you really want to paint your protagonist as a shitty, awful person?

Oh, wait. Too late.

So a random client shows up and is just sitting in KNK’s office waiting for her, which is potentially a huge breach of the confidentiality of KNK’s other clients.

KNK’s response is to make a snide comment about there being a waiting room, then to proceed to yell at client for being late to the appointment. 

Because wasting a therapist’s time is worse than something that is actually illegal and can result in thousands of dollars in fines. KNK’s clearly got her priorities straight.

KNK then lets that same client fall asleep on the couch in her office. Just in case it wasn’t unethical enough the first time around!

For fuck’s sake.

[Image: A seedy nightclub bathroom. KNK says to her client’s ex who she’s trying to bang: “You’re like a human Rorschach.”]

So she’s outdated, invalid, and meaningless? Sick fucking burn, bro!

Also, Hermann Rorschach, who was in all likelihood human* would like a word. I think the writers meant to say “inkblot.”

Who the fuck is writing this fucking shit.

* Note - the Shrink has no evidence to confirm or deny that Hermann Rorschach was a vampire, werewolf, or other non-human creature.

The absolute worst part comes when KNK’s ‘forbidden’ and ‘dangerous’ relationship with her client’s ex leads to KNK learning something important about her actual client. Namely, that said client has in the past been suicidal after a breakup.

This is slightly important because, you know, said client is currently going through another breakup - and may become suicidal again.

Guess what? KNK NEVER FUCKING BRINGS IT UP IN THERAPY.

She didn’t have to tell him she knows about his past. She could just ask him if he’s having thoughts of suicide - it’s a routine question that therapists ask! A lot! Some therapists will ask it every session!

But no.

KNK legitimately does not fucking care if her client lives or dies.

The only value her client has to her is that she can pump him for information about his ex-girlfriend. She uses her position as a therapist to manipulate her client into serving KNK’s agenda to get laid.

I’m not joking.

Actual transcript:

KNK: You know, I was thinking, Sam, is it possible that you came on too strong with Sidney [his ex that KNK wants to bang]?

Sam: [stammering] What do you mean? Today?

KNK: No, in general. She just seems so independent and free-spirited, from the way you describe her. Maybe she felt claustrophobic.

Sam: I don't understand why you're telling me this.

Me fucking either.

Sam: We were in love, and then she got scared. Decided she needed to experience more shit. More people.

KNK: So she's dating?

Sam: No, she actually told me she’s not interested in any guys.

KNK: So she's interested in women?

Sam: No. What?

KNK: Well, the way you... Anyway, it's very common for young women to dally or try things.

How fucking dare you.

Fuck this show. Fuck everyone involved in producing it. Fuck Netflix for hosting it.

[Gif: John Oliver repeatedly pounding his fists on a table and saying angrily, “Fuck you! Fuck you all forever! You fuck yourself! You go fuck yourself right now!”]

Okay. The Shrink needs to take a break to calm down. Stay tuned for Part 2.

Disclaimer // Support me on patreon. I watch this shit so you don’t have to.

[nothingbutparticles]

ALL THE QUESTIONS and for number 35: are u a good sports player and also r u a good dancer

I LOVE YOU MOJITO. Gonna do it under a read more tho (lol sorry mobile users)

1 - Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Wow that’s a heavy start tbh. Actually though, I do have some nihilistic views on reality and often find my mind wandering to thoughts like, “If we don’t remember anything from before we were born, will that be the same when we die? What happens to our thoughts, our experiences? Did we exist before we physically did at all?” Being someone who has a theory on reincarnation which I will not go into much detail on, I do comfort myself with some answers, but sometimes! Yeah, I start thinking perhaps life is indeed but a dream and everything is fabricated. So, tl;dr, yes.

2 - On a scale of 1 to 5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Negative ten. (Ok it depends on the situation I guess, but I will often walk around in unknown places with my eyes closed, even, bc I fall asleep walking sometimes so... I am really not)

3 - The person you would never want to meet?

Donald Trump idfk I also never wanna run into Judy again

4 - What is your favourite word?

Your name ok but I have a few! Some include incommodious, conundrum, ambiguity, ambivalence and pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

5 - If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

I guess I do admire blackthorn trees a lot?

6 - When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I have not yet looked in a mirror today but I did put on my webcam at one point to look at my cat behind me to see what he was dong without disturbing him and I saw myself and thought “man I need to stop picking that scab on my eyebrow”

7 - What shirt are you wearing?

Man I wish I was wearing something not PJs aw heck... Well, I am wearing my extremely large like 6-sizes-too-big t-shirt made to look like a shark is tearing out of it and my Graphic Design school hoodie on top :v

8 - What do you label yourself as?

Uh? I do not understand this one too well but um. A loser?? Unless we mean identity? Agender??

9 - Bright room or dark room?

Somewhere in between is ideal because I’m quite photosensitive so! Too bright a room will hurt my eyes but too dark a room and screens will hurt my eyes....

10 - What were you doing at midnight last night?

Talking to you!!! And RPing! With you!

11 - Favourite age you’ve been so far?

I guess I really enjoyed 18 and 19... Lots of changes, mostly for the better, met most of my best of best friends around then, and just looking back there was a sort of... just really neat feel to those years.

12 - Who told you they loved you last?

My uncle in a response to my birthday text to him like an hour ago

13 - Your worst enemy?

Myself OOOHH DEEP but fucking true sorry for the edge :V But ok if I wanna not sound like a 2007 tween, I guess Judy

14 - What is your current desktop picture?

Depends what computer we’re talking. My old laptop/media centre still has a FE:A background that I set on it years back (it barely gets touched), my iMac has a pic of a spectacled bear (I set it while I was still frequently screen sharing with my illustration clients so I kept it to Something Professional and besides spectacled bears are fucking great) aaand my macbook still has the BG I set on it like a year ago when I got it because honestly I am just so bad at changing desktop images because I do not tend to care about them since I look at my desktop BG for maybe 3 seconds a month.

I mean it’s a good picture tho

15 - Do you like someone?

Yeah ;w; ...

16 - The last song you listened to?

I am still listening to Digitalism thanks 2 you IT IS GOOD STUFF MAN and ironically enough 2 Hearts is actually the song that just finished... I swear I am listening to other songs tho LMAO

17 - You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who do you pick to blow up?

Donald Trump lmfao or myself

18 - Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Judy

19 - If anyone could be your slave for a day who would you pick and what would they do?

UMMM I’d rather not have a slave actually LMAO if anything I’d like to be the slave I mean what HAh

20 - What is your best physical attribute?

I guess it’s a tie between being VERY SOFT, having a really really pretty eye colour, and my gUNS

pew pew

21 - If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you look like and what would you do?

Likely look p similar bc I am pretty androgynous I like to think, maybe a bit more angular?? And I’d likely have stubble bc I love that shit. I’d just carry out my day like normal though honestly (ok I’d fucking jerk off at least once but)

22 - Do you have a secret talent? What is it?

I am a fucking pro at whistling and also apparently a decent singer

23 - What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

I have scopophobia there’s that

24 - You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient is at your disposal

PB, jam and old cheddar

25 - You found $100 !! How are you going to spend it?

Probably on a dinner out with Booty and Em and Cyn

26 - You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world but you have to leave immediately, where are you going?

Knock knock I am at ur door

27 - An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Canadian rye whiskey that was a long question for something so easy

28 - You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Aw hell idk I am no good at leadership the first thing I’d do is hold an election among my friends for a different leader lmfao

29 - What is your favourite expletive?

30 - Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

Probably my bag? Like it has all my ID and money and stuff. Usually my DS and games too and some deodorant that’s important.

31 - You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Judy

32 - You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

This question is null because time travel is a thing I do not like to ever consider. But then the ending has nothing to do with the start?? Anyway knock knock I am at ur door again

33 - The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

S’mores and make him immortal please

34 - What was your last dream about?

I forgot

35 - “are u a good sports player and also r u a good dancer”

No and no

36 - Have you ever been admitted tot he hospital?

Not for anything long-term no. Been to hospitals on several occasions but never for a stay.

37 - Have you ever built a snowman?

Of course I have I live in Canada

38 - Colour of your socks?

Invisible

39 - What type of music do you like?

Alt rock mostly!! A lot of indie stuff too. I like some electronic as well!! Basically anything with a good beat. Moody/poetic lyrics make my life too. Pair those together (gimme them drummmms) and I’ll have a new fave band. (See Amber Run, Barcelona and Nothing But Thieves for a few good examples of Shit I Cannot Get Enough Of)

40 - Sunrises or sunsets?

Sunset!

41 - Favourite milkshake flavour?

Milkshakes make me sick but I guess strawberry

42 - What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

That one team that does the thing and scores the ball

43 - Any scars?

My knees are peppered with scars from the bus accident still, I have a little nick in my forehead from when it got split by a gym door, and I have tons of tiny pet scratch scars all over my hands and arms lmao

44 - What do you want to be when you graduate?

I already did that, both high school and college (twice) so um

anyway I am not even what I went to college for oops

45 - If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My sex probably. I am very comfortably agender but would prefer to reside in a male shell...

46 - Are you reliable?

I do my best to be!

47 - If you could ask your future self anything, what would it be?

“Are we happy?”

48 - Do you hold grudges?

Sadly yeah LMAO but I back-burner them very easily. I can seem and act perfectly fine with someone who has hurt me but honestly there’s a 99% chance in the back of my head I am picturing great misfortune on them

49 - If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Bears and cows. Listen man. Imagine it as a mount.

50 - What is the most unusual conversation you have ever had?

This is actually literally impossible to answer bc I have a lot of really really weird convos lmao but um... I guess honestly like... any time I have had a normal and professional convo is unusual then??

51 - Are you a good liar?

Oh, very.

52 - How long could you go without talking?

Not long actually. I often even talk to myself, so yeah maybe a few hours tops.

53 - What has been your worst haircut/style?

When I was like age 10 until age 15 I pretty much just let my hair lay. Middle-part, barely even cleaned/kept. Just, flat, greasy, middle-parted, no bangs. I actually also had it loosely tied back for a lot of that. I cringe to remember. It was down to my waist and just soPLAIN and BAD LOOKING

54 - Ever baked your own cake?

Plenty of times

55 - Can you do any accents other than your own?

I don’t even have an accent I have the typical, flat central north american nothingness accent. I can try to do accents but I am bad at them and they are usually pretty generalized bc like there are! So many! Accents! (Mojito pls teach me the Yorkshire Ways)

56 - What do you like on your toast?

I have two faves!! Either ricotta cheese with jam/red pepper jelly, or PB and cheese or jam or honey.

57 - Last thing you dew a picture of?

An RP response 8) ;;; I do not know.... what my last full drawing was. Aw man I need to draw more.

58 - Dream car?

Chevy Avalanche in matte black with turquoise accents LMAO nice

59 - Do you sing in the shower, or do anything else unusual in the shower?

Yes I do!! All the time lmao. And um. Yes I do... other thing s . .

60 - Do you believe in aliens?

Of fucking course I do anyone who denies them is denying science itself tbh

61 - Do you often read your horoscope?

Mostly just for fun but yes

62 - Favourite letter of the alphabet?

J

63 - Dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons probably sorry dinos

64 - Babies?

Fucking nope hate hate the sounds hate the staring hate the.... fragility... smell... no thanks 8) ;;;

65 - Freebie ask anything but u didn’t so anyway I’ll fill in for you “Is Mojito Amazing?”

Yeah he is!!! He’s great!! I love him!!!