#but i think she had fight in her once

[tripleskxawng]

as someone who was briefly a woman of color in stem (im now a man of color in a pink collar job #thriving) i often wonderrrr if the avatar was empowering to alma in the workplace. when i was a stem fem my superiors didn't take me seriously when i met with them in person, and their treatment of me noticeably shifted when i started meeting with them through zoom during covid and was no longer physically a foot below them and when my asian features were somewhat obscured by a shitty webcam. also i have an anecdote from a friend whose racist family member was IN LOVE with netytiri until he realized she was portrayed by a black woman. when he realized she was zoe saldana under the blue cgi he reacted like he'd been catfished.

in a meta sense i think white guys see black woman characters very differently through the lens of a na'vi or avatar body and i wonder if that might extend in-universe.

obviously spending all her time in the avatar was an unhealthy way of coping with identity issues but i wonder if those identity issues had anything to do with how she was treated in the RDA as a black woman. plus we don't know how tall alma is because this is a video game but i think she's extremely 5 foot coded and regardless physically towering over men who metaphorically look down on you i think would probably be an ego boost.

i'd like to believe Human racism and sexism aren't as big of a problem by 2154 but if they werent ingrained into the fabric of the culture i think they wouldnt be doing any of that shit to pandora in the first place like i have no evidence but i imagine an antiracist culture probably would not genocide and colonize a species of indigenous-coded blue alien people. also the way mercer talks about the humanities reeks of scott yenorism

[cha-r4]

renruki in the first arc

[5a-alf]

I fear Kevin Day is the type of person whose struggle always came second. He funcioned enough that while everyone knew he wasn't alright, it was also nobody's problem, as someone else was actively having a harder time and they took precedence. He internalises all his problems and keeps going and going but he is fueled by alchool and sheer desperation a 100% of the time. If he were to stop for even a second he wouldn't know how to start again.

Did he ever, at somepoint in his life -away from the ex foxes, a pro player, married to Thea- wish he had it worse, just so that maybe it would have been his turn being saved? Being first? How badly would he feel, just one second after thinking it, because he knows damn well he has enough trauma to fill a stadium and he isn't actually jealous of his friends that had it worse, he isn't . That's a fucked up thing to think, stop it, stop it.

Would he still drink himself into a stupor to shoote the ache, to banish the thought? That's the help he got, when he was at his worst, a drink, and then two, and then a thousand. And it worked, it made him go, it picked him up when he was down, and now he can't get down without crashing.

Did he wish to be saved? Did he hope somebody, anybody, took the time and put in the effort to help him, just because they saw him down, not because he begged, but because they noticed he could use a hand. Or two, actually. Was it torment, to always be under the spotlight, yet never been seen? Did he run toward fame hoping the more eyes on him meant it would be easier to be noticed?

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[rustedleopard]

Still thinking about how Clover on the No Mercy Route likely would've given up their quest for vengeance and lived with Martlet had Axis not told them that he killed Integrity. The only real difference between Aborted No Mercy Run Clover and No Mercy Run Clover are a few more destroyed robots and the knowledge of what Axis did, which sent their LOVE skyrocketing to LV 19.

Look at them. They can't even look Ceroba in the eye after they inflict the final blow.

[dailykugisaki]

Day 335 | id in alt

Being desperate to end the fight might make you even worse off in the long run, Shoko.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Voyager should have had an episode where the command trio beat the absolute hell out of each other while blaming each other for being stuck in the delta quadrant as the fever pitch of a rising tension that was building throughout the episode. Like, they're absolutely being pushed to do it by some outside force. Maybe it's a telepathic being - maybe it's that they're stuck in some arena or an alien court or a time loop only the three of them are aware of - no matter the specifics, the sentiment behind their words has to be true and it has to be something they've been keeping back for months, maybe years. That fear and hatred and blame that doesn't really have an actual target because it's not actually rational but 'who's to blame' doesn't have to be capital T true to feel true. If Chakotay hadn't been in the badlands, If Janeway hadn't made that choice, If Tuvok hadn't supported it... "You trapped us here. It's your fault. If you hadn't-! If you hadn't-! If you hadn't-!" are just echoes of "I trapped us here. It's my fault. If I hadn't-! If I hadn't-! If I hadn't-!" Because at the end of the day more than being angry or hateful they're despairing in their own ways. Episode probably has a somber end - they beat whatever it was and it's a victory! They won by working together even after they beat each other half to death! But after the celebration we see them alone in their quarters...silent. Gazing out at the stars, into a candle's flame, at that same family picture before turning away. Because even though they won they're still there in the delta quadrant. Is that really victory?

[ganondoodle]

(im maybe thinking a little too much about that totk rewritten project ..)

had a cool idea and wanna know what people would prefer; after you beat ganondorf once, marking the half way point of the game, would you rather:

get a long cutscene in which you see some of his memories, that shows why he ended up there and why he is the way he is, with you occasionally being able to walk around in them

get a few sudden flashes of memories, nothing detailed or clear but have 'miasma hearts' spawn across the surface and underground map, a tree like growth of miasma that holds an important memory from the past; they unlock in order of them happening as there are several stages of growth to them, you can find all before seeing the first one but you cant access the memory until the 'tree' has matured, they will grow more the closer you are to unlocking them; they slowly lead you back towards ganondorf and you need all of them to unlock the endboss

[trappedinafantasy37]

It is now time to go down into the sewers and to face Orin. With this run being just Shadowheart and Minthara and no Durge, this definitely feels a lot more personal for Minthara.

The moment we passed the threshold into the Undercity, Minthara drops the alurlssrin confession. Of course, Shadowheart has no idea what that means. But Minthara is walking down into that temple terrified that she will not make it out alive and she wants to tell Shadowheart she loves her in the best way that she can

Did not exactly feel like doing this bullshit of a fight, so I engaged in a little pro-gamer move I like to call, "If they can't see me, they can't fight me." You'd be surprised how many problems you can get out of if you just avoid them entirely!

Behold, the Temple of Bhaal in all its dreadful glory!

Orin is quite excited to see Minthara again! Oh, how she missed her Minthara.

Turns out, Orin is not too happy that Minthara has a new girlfriend now and wants to get rid of the competition. What is it about evil lesbians that compels them to resort to violence to solve their problems?

I have learned quite a lot of things about Orin these past few days. Not only is Orin capable of turning invisible in the middle of a fight, but she can also resurrect the dead! Who knew? I sure as fuck didn't! What else is she hiding?

YES! SHE DID IT! BABYGURL KILLED ORIN ALL BY HERSELF!

Death is too good for Orin, she deserved worse. Minthara deserved the honor of doing worse.

Even though she personally dispatched of Orin, Minthara has a hard time believing that Orin is dead and that her nightmare is over. She is still quite terrified. Once, she had believed that killing Orin would make her feel better. But vengeance is not all its cracked up to be it would seem.

But, it's okay. Shadowheart is here to make it all better. Orin is dead and can never touch her again.

I almost exclusively play Durge and have always found the fight to be easier in a one-on-one duel. Sadly, Minthara is not granted a duel or the ability to confront Orin directly. Stocking up on some spell scrolls and with some carefully targeted attacks, I was able to make it so that Minthara was the one who fought Orin. And she won.

Like I said, Minthara being my only companion on this run definitely made the confrontation with Orin feel a lot more personal for her. She is sidelined and regarded as if her trauma is just an after thought and doesn't get the opportunity to confront her abuser. Perhaps Minthara's character development gets stunted because she isn't given the proper chance to work through her trauma like all the rest. It will forever infuriate me. But, that's what fanfiction is for and I will always give Minthara what she actually deserves in my little stories.

Next up, the Elder Brain and the end of the game.

< The Foundry and Gortash | Doomsday >

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

i don't think it's readable but my candy's shirt says "1-800-HOTTOGO" (luv u chappell) this would be her everyday style and i wanted for it to contrast her more formal look for work.

I considered making her everyday the outfit she wears to ballet but then I heard chappell and I totally forgot about it lol. Her color palette as for now has been really soft and pink, but it's because i feel like these first parts of the story take place in spring? for some reason? but when the story progresses I'll give her different fits.

i wanted to share all the looks in one post but i thought this one looks really cute and i'm staring at it like this:

[aingeal98]

Daisy: You know after having spent 25 years alone and unloved I really thought searching for my birth parents would be the only way I could find a family but you know what this team is kind of-

Daisy: OK so at least one of my team is a traitor and my birth parents are alive they're just evil monsters. Cool cool cool I am once again not feeling very safe and secure

Daisy: Oh actually wait my bio parents love me? They want me? I can make a home here mayb-

Daisy: Oh never mind my mom just tried to murder me. And my dad is still a monster but he's agreed to have his memory wiped. At least he's still breathing I guess?

Daisy: Good news is I still have my found family parents so at least-

Daisy: Aaaaand found family dad is dead. You know what this is fine as long as I just have-

Daisy:

Daisy: Universe. Universe listen to me very closely. You bring back my found family mom right fucking now. If I have all four of my parents die on me I will destroy this world just like you all said I would

Daisy: OK good. We found a nice compromise. I get to keep one parent and don't have to watch four of them die. Oh hey it's my bio mom from another timeline where she didn't get tortured into insanity and could actually love-

Daisy: Are you fucking KIDDING me.

[yuwuta]

i know i write and i yearn but—and maybe this is naive and unrealistic but idc—i would rather drink a denim jacket through a metal straw than date any man i’ve ever encountered in my life bc why would i give up my alone time and start splitting things 50/50 if i was already paying for everything myself 😭

[ryp3004]

For the past week or so, Ryanne has been feeling… Off. Like there’s a string inside of her that’s being wound tighter and tighter. Like her skin doesn't fit her body. Like her joints are stiff and she’s primed for a fight.

She knows why. How could she not be affected after Ace betrayed her? Someone she thought was her friend, her family. It stung far more than she’s letting on. 

Luckily she’s had practice all her life at keeping her emotions in check, not letting a single crack slip out. 

It was especially hard when Wes snapped at her about her integrity. A lightning strike of hurt rocketing through her at the memory.

But… It's not Wes’s fault. It’s hers. She shouldn’t have said those things about her friends, even if she was upset. It wasn’t fair to them. She knows they all count on her, and that’s the way she likes it. She loves to help and she must have-!

Stop. She needs to calm down. She needs to be focused for this. Wes has a plan. Wes always has a plan. A plan that will work. It will be fine. She just has to get into a fight with him in the courtyard in front of everyone she knows. That way, Ace will think her and Wes broke up and he can get close to him again. It will be easy. Ryanne knows how to act. This is just… Stage fright, that's all.

With a deep breath, Ryanne enters the courtyard, swallowing at the whispers and stares of her classmates. Wes is in front of the fountain, just like they planned. Ace is sitting with a few of the student council members, not too close but not too far, just like they planned.

“Hey, Wes,” Ryanne starts softly, though with the quieting down around them it might as well have been a shout.

“Ryanne.” Wes regards her coolly. And even though she knows he’s faking, she knows it, she can't stop her breath from catching and her posture straightening. 

“You stood me up last night… Didn’t return my calls… Did something happen?” Ryanne tilts her head with a small, tense smile.

“Oh, don’t give me that.” Wes scoffs. “You know exactly what happened, Hunt.” Ryanne blinks, thrown off.

“After what you said about us?” A gesture to the listening classmates. “About me? I thought you knew better than that, Ry.” It’s fake. Ryanne steps closer, putting a gentle arm on his shoulder that he rips away from her. It’s fake.

“Wes, please, we can talk about this.” She says, and she doesn't exactly have to fake the hurt in her voice. “Tell me how to fix this…” Wes rolls his eyes. It’s fake.

“What do you want from me, Ryanne? I thought I knew who you were, but was it all just an act?” He takes a step towards her, pointing his finger accusingly. It’s fake. “I can’t believe I fell for it. Even now, you’re standing here, playing the victim yet again. I mean,” He laughs in disbelief, a hand on his forehead. “I thought you were smarter than this.” It’s fake. 

“Wes, you can’t just say that about me. That isn’t fair.” Her hands are shaking at her sides.

“You wanna talk about fair? How is it fair that you lied to everyone and still have to be the good guy? It’s actually incredible, Ryanne. Really, bravo.” He claps sarcastically. It’s fake. He doesn't know that that’s what they used to say to her.

Poor Ryanne, always the victim. Poor Ryanne, hurt herself yet again. Ryanne, haven’t you gotten enough attention? Ryanne, have you finished yet? Ryanne, Ryanne, Ryanne…

She slaps Wes, an angry flush on her face and a stinging on her palm. He doesn't have to feign his surprise.

“Fuck you.” She spits. “How dare you, Wes? After everything I have done for you? After everything I have done for all of you?” Her eyes snap to the classmates that were listening in. “When is the last time I have ever asked you for anything? When is the last time we hung out without you needing anything? When is the last time you even asked me about myself, huh?” She gets in his face, voice low and shaking.

“When is my birthday, Wes?”

Wes flounders for a moment, mouth open to prove her wrong but nothing coming out. Ryanne sniffs, the anger making way for tears. She wipes at her eyes. “We’re done. Don’t text me.” She turns on her heels, making a swift exit. She waves off Payton and Mia, both of their eyes wide. Julian and Nishan look almost impressed. 

Right.

It was an act.

Of course it was an act.

Then why does she feel like this?

Ryanne ignores the people trying to comfort her and locks herself in one of the empty classrooms. She doesn't want them to see her like this. She’s supposed to be a piller. She’s supposed to be a beacon. She’s supposed to be perfect.

With a shaking hand she unlocks her phone. There’s a message from Wes.

“That wasn’t all an act, was it?” is all it says.

“No. I think we actually need to talk.”

“👍” 

Despite herself, Ryanne snorts at her terrible, wonderful boyfriend.

“I’m in Mr. O’Brine’s room.”

“I’ll be there in ten. Ace is about to approach”

“👍” 

[deus-ex-mona]

the opinion i’m not allowed to have: i genuinely think tsumurin could help concon get better™️

[weirfq1]

with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo

[estyiels-little-art-cave]