#but i think it’s bc of familiarity and feelings for me
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cw: child abuse and non-sexual grooming
VEILGUARD SPOILERS (from lucanis' writing, a mission towards the ending and a little general)
About Lucanis and the Antivan Crows...
after finishing datv, I can finally say for sure that despite the fact that i find this game was overall fine, there are several things about it that have disappointed me. one of those things is about lucanis (and it's not even the only thing about lucanis that bothers me, but we'll leave that discussion for another time, because there's a lot to say about the writing).
in this game, Caterina Dellamorte (lucanis and illario's grandmother) is portrayed as a woman that's cold and demanding. not particularly nice, lucanis fully acknowledges that she's not exactly the loving type, and it's easy to assume things about her and about their relationship based on that... but for some reason it's never addressed that she abused lucanis when he was a child, by beating him and starving him. this is something that you can read in lucanis' story in tevinter nights, the wigmaker job, which was lucanis' introduction.
"Memories of sweat-filled days without food or water came unbidden Lucanis’s back tingled from where his grandmother’s cane had bruised his flesh for letting his guard down or fumbling his footwork. For years, he’d hated her. But his time as a Master taught Lucanis that Caterina’s cruelty was her way he was prepared for this life—that he survived."
I was waiting to finish the game before I said it, because I expected him to mention at some point but... no, nothing. I don't know if there's anything in a codex or something specific I missed, but even if that's the case, I expected it to be significant at all. it wasn't.
i'm not even going to get into what lucanis should feel about this. before the game came out i talked about some of my hopes for him based on the info we had about him, and imo there was not even half of that level of depth to his character. but i wouldnt have minded if the game went in another direction, or if lucanis simply just wasnt open to discuss it, or if he came to the conclusion that it was fine. i won't get into how "problematic" thinking that is, because i could understand that he tells himself that, and as a fucking assassin, i understand that he's come to terms with it because otherwise he probably wouldnt have survived in such a dangerous enviroment. i won't get into it bc as i said, i can understand it. my problem is that lucanis never says it. he never tells rook or anyone else that caterina abused him, or that the crows overall are very abusive and that they do this to children and break their minds basically in order to become emotionless living weapons. and if this is said in any banter, then i missed it in my 91h of gameplay, and i had lucanis in my party every single time we went outside. or it might be in a codex entry, idk. the point is that even if that's the case, that's not a great way to tell this info, especially when in the story theres no other way to learn anything like this about the crows. ppl that i talked to that didnt read tevinter nights didnt know this fact abt caterina and lucanis' past, they simply didnt cause how could they. I just wanted to say this because I think it's important to know if you like lucanis, or the antivan crows, and it's never even actually implied.
I also have many other issues with his writing, but the antivan crows are unfortunately also whitewashed. at least if you've played dragon age origins you know this, but our first antivan crow companion, zevran, talks about how he was taken as a child by the antivan crows. how he was literally bought by them as an orphan, and forced to become an assassin, and when he tries to flee, they attempt to murder him throughout the game. he even talks about how apparently some crows even made their members go through blood magic rituals to acquire abilities (SOUND FAMILIAR? IT'S LITERALLY WHAT ZARA DOES TO LUCANIS, ISN'T IT. HOW FUCKED UP). i think it's so disrespectful to dragon age's worldbuilding and so appalling that they simply... ignored all of this. I'm very upset that this was completely whitewashed. i wont get into it, but i assume they didn't show the crows being awful because, well... they have to be the good alternative for government in antiva. the bad guys are the antaam, and that's it. but one of the things i always loved about dragon age is how they treat these sort of political things. as i said, in origins the crows were more of an antagonistic figure, but at least it made them feel more real and serious. and people loved the crows like they were, fucked up assassins. in this game... idk, am i supposed to believe the assassin guys are nice? why hide the ugly? of course it's gonna be there, and it's ok. irl it happens a lot that oppressed people have to rely on groups that are less than ideal for their liberation, and a lot of times citizens are kinda ok w it bc no one else will stand up for them, so they have to work w what they have, and they're just relieved theres someone there for them. and it also shows that people are not perfect victims. if you're putting ppl in a corner, at some point ppl are rarely gonna care about being "good", and it's only human. and im not even gonna get into being an antivan crow rook because... sigh, it's more of the same. just disappointing. rook even mentions that theyre an orphan. and im pretty sure in the final mission about treviso, at least if you helped jacobus, he is like "i'll take in orphans and give them a chance". oh man, yeah. cool. please tell me how you'll raise them to be, im so curious to see how you won't groom children and abuse them into becoming mindless cold soldiers. that's fucking insane. this feels like fucking US army levels of propaganda and grooming. i love when we normalize child soldiers that's so fucking awesome i love this "woke" game when it's pro-military and anti-fucking-questioning-anything-a-military-force-does.
i even wondered if all of this has been retconned or simply ignored. i dont have a problem w retconning overall, and it's only natural it would happen in a franchise that's as old as DA, but the thing is... why would you do it. it literally just makes them flatter, it doesn't make any fucking sense.
so yes. im VERY disappointed in this game and the writing. this is one of the many things in the writing that disappointed me. the antivan crows are an organization that bring hope, and im perfectly fine with them being portrayed as "saviors", but im not ok with them conveniently not addressing any of their very bad issues. it's unrealistic. it's disrespectful to our intelligence, to dragon age fans and to dragon age origins. it's disrespectful to characters like zevran, who got into an insane war with them for a fucking reason. it's disrespectful to every antivan crow character to be honest. and im sorry, i dont even think this is insane to ask from them. like.... im literally just asking for consistency. they had it already, i dont understand why they did this. i had faith in them, but perhaps that's on me. im so heartbroken.
and i promise i actually think the game overall is ok. it was fun. definitely one of my least favorite games, if not my least favorite, but still. i appreciate it, and LOVED. LOVEEED some scenes. in fact, it might have at the very least one of my favorite scenes from the whole franchise. i think this game has very low points, and very high points, so it's hard to say what i think about it in few words.... but there are so many things like this in the writing, and it's just SO upsetting and disrespectful. im sorry. im truly sorry, you don't know how much i wanted to love this game and the writing. you have no idea. but i have self respect, and i don't lie to myself when i see something i dont like. it feels like they're whitewashing the crows cause we'd be too stupid to understand complex political issues. i thought this game was mature and could handle mature themes, but it doesnt seem like it's the case anymore. perhaps bioware is dead. i still want to believe they can come back from this but......... the post credit scene doesnt reassure me AT ALL. sigh. im just upset and sad. and as i said, this is only one of my many issues. i'll talk about the rest in the future, but im writing all of it down and i need time for that. i hope you understand that this comes from a place of genuine love. sorry i can't be happy about this game, but some of the stuff i see just ruins the rest for me.
edit: someone told me that apparently theres a banter when you go to dellamorte's villa and lucanis *implies* that he was beat by his grandmother (at least to another antivan crow rook). this whole post still stands though. i think that should have not been a banter that i (and im sure others) missed. and again, it also ties to how i think the crows as an organization and their methods were whitewashed. even if it's not particularly a lucanis problem, it could have been to some extent addressed by him.
#sorry but im not sorry for having opinions. i hope you understand.#child abuse#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#dav#da4#dragon age#dragon age critical#datv critical#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#illario dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#zevran arainai#jacobus#house dellamorte#dragon age lucanis#datv meta#dragon age meta#lucanis dellamorte meta#lucanis meta
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HII this is my fluff wip tht i scratch away bc i hv too many smut reqs
Summary : One of them writes a love letter to get over their feelings, but it accidentally ends up in the other’s hands. Not knowing the letter is about them, they ask the writer for advice on how to respond to their own letter, sparking a chain of misunderstandings until the truth is revealed.
What i had in mind :
-Jake wrote it to y/n
-He accidentally lost the letter while he was walking on the hallway
-The letter ended up in front of y/n’s locker
-She picked it up and read it
-Told jake abt the letter (but they r both idiots) until somehow they figure it out bc it got obvious
Feel free to change the plot!! ( I might write a part 2 from ur fic if u make it <3)
Letter of the Heart
pairing : jake x f!reader ୨ৎ content / warning(s) : fluff, they're friends, funny misunderstanding cause they're idiots(jake specifically but its okay <3), highschool au ୨ৎ word count : 1k
synopsis. when y/n finds a love letter at her locker, she has no idea who it’s from, so she asks her best friend, jake, for help with what to say. jake, being the good friend he is, jumps in—giving advice, joking around, and even offering to “practice” her responses.
ᐢ..ᐢ lev notes : ended this on a cliffhanger hehe >:3 hope you like what i did mama belle <3 cause i had an awesome time, thinking of what to add on to make it more fun.
part 2 here!
it all starts with a love letter. jake, who’s been silently carrying a crush on you for ages, finally pours out his feelings on paper. he didn't plan on giving you the letter—it just something he wrote to work through his emotions. but the next day, while walking to class in a rush, the letter slips out of his notebook and lands right in front of your locker.
later, you spot the folded note, curious, and decide to read it. your heart flutters as you take in the words—gentle, vulnerable, clearly written by someone who has been holding these feelings close. but who could it be? the handwriting is neat, but familiar. intrigued, you decide to find out.
during break time, you bring it up to jake. “i found this letter outside my locker,” you say, holding it up, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “it’s… really sweet. but i have no idea who wrote it!”
jake, obliviously laughs. “a secret admirer, huh?” he teases, thinking of all the possible suspects. “what did it say?”
you blush reading a line out loud: “‘every time i see you smile, i feel like everything makes sense.’” jake’s heart skips a beat, hearing his own words, but he quickly pushes away the strange familiarity of it.
-------------
later that afternoon in the cafeteria. you hold up the love letter, cheeks flushed as you read through it again. you sigh looking to jake for help. “it says, ‘you make me believe in all the little things that make life beautiful.’ how… how am i supposed to respond to something like that?”
jake laughs, trying to brush off the pang of recognition he feels. did he… write that? he wonders but shakes the thought away, assuming it’s just an odd coincidence.
“maybe say something like, ‘i didn’t know i had such an impact on you!’” he suggests. “or if you want to be bolder, add, ‘tell me more about these little things.’ you know, just to tease them a bit.”
you beam, nodding. “that’s actually perfect! you’re a genius at this.”
jake chuckles, putting on a casual smile while his heart races. “just call me the love doctor.” he can’t shake the strange feeling, but he pushes it aside, too embarrassed to imagine he might be her admirer.
-------------
in the library the next day, you and jake go over the letter again, trying to analyze every word.
“whoever wrote this,” you murmur, pointing to a line, “has a way with words. ‘every time i see you smile, i feel like the world gets a little brighter.’ that’s… that’s intense. do you know anyone who’d say something like that?”
jake’s pulse quickens as the words ring a familiar bell in his head. that sounds like… something he would write.
trying to cover, he shrugs. “uh, well, it’s probably someone with a soft side,” he jokes, mentally kicking himself. “maybe they read a lot, or… watch a lot of rom-coms?”
you laugh, clearly enjoying the mystery. “could be… but it feels so genuine, like they really meant it.”
he tries to smile, but his mind races. could it really be… his own letter? the thought sends his heart racing, and he fights to keep his cool, feeling embarrassed that he might be guiding her response to his letter.
-------------
that night, as jake lies in bed, an unsettling thought lingers in his mind. could it actually be… my letter?
the more he thinks about it, the more familiar those lines sound, and his stomach twists with both excitement and dread. sitting up, he grabs his backpack and rummages through it, pulling out his notebook. he flips through the pages, looking for the tucked-away letter he remembers putting there. but as he gets to the back of the notebook, his stomach drops.
the letter isn’t there.
“no, no, no…” he mutters, flipping through each page again. but it’s nowhere to be found. he recalls that day in the hallway when he’d been rushing to class. it must’ve slipped out then!
jake groans, covering his face with both hands, completely mortified. 'she’s been reading my letter this whole time… and i’ve been helping her respond to it!'
-------------
as you sit in class together, you try to bring up the letter again. “so, about my response… i was thinking of adding a line about—”
jake quickly interrupts, laughing a bit too loudly. “oh, yeah, sure, whatever you think, it’s all good!” he blushes, then looks away. “i mean… i’m sure whoever it is would be thrilled with anything you say.”
you narros your eyes, studying his red face. “are you okay, jake? you’ve been acting really… weird since yesterday.”
jake scratches the back of his neck, glancing everywhere but you. “who, me? no, no, i’m fine. totally normal. it’s… totally normal for me to help you write a love letter to someone i don’t even know, right?”
he lets out a nervous laugh, mentally cringing at how ridiculous he sounds, and you just raise an eyebrow, watching him closely. is he blushing? you wonder, putting the pieces together bit by bit. but you don’t say anything yet, waiting for the right moment.
-------------
the next day, you read the letter over again, something finally clicking. as you recall jake’s reactions, the strange look in his eyes every time you talked about the letter, you suddenly realize the truth.
the next day during lunch, you turn to jake, a small knowing smile on your face. “jake… i have a hunch. about who wrote the letter.”
jake’s heart stops. “oh? who… who do you think it is?”
your eyes search his, twinkling with a new understanding. “i think it was… you.”
jake’s eyes widen, and his mouth opens, but before he can respond, the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. you stand up, leaving him stunned in his seat as you head off to class with a glance over your shoulder, you give him a teasing smile.
“see you after class, jakey~” you say with a playful tone.
jake is left sitting there, his heart racing, unsure of what you’ll say—or what he’ll say—when you finally meet again.
perm taglist.@honeybelleee @honeychocos @manaah02 @kozumesphone (open!)
requests. open!
©levandright
#lev writes#ᐢ..ᐢ lev's request#🦁 lev moots#sim jake fanfic#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jake x reader#sim jaeyun#jake x reader#jake sim#enhypen jake#jake fic#enhypen jaeyun#enhypen jake x reader#sim jaeyun x you#jake x you#jake fluff#sim jaeyun fluff#jake soft hours#jake soft thoughts#enhypen x reader#enhypen#kpop x reader#kpop#enhypen fluff#enhypen drabbles#enhypen imagines#enha x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x you#enha fluff
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but you should write about levi's strength
!!! Bless you for letting me talk about Leviathan with reason.
Let me do it in a list format so it doesn't feel like I'm rambling.
-Let's get the facts everyone knows out of the way first -As we all know the order of the brothers are also a determination of their strength. So Levi being the third brother indicates he is the third strongest demon amongst them. -Although he is one of the physically weaker ones, which makes him being ranked third even more impressive. -Which , I still believe it is justified. -To start off with, he is the Admiral of the navy. You definitely need to have a considerably impressive strength if you want to be an admiral and have a whole army under you. -His love (and talent) for games also suggest high levels of focus and strategic skills which plays into him being a good admiral. -This also plays into him having political strength, as he is able to maintain that position and control while being an absolute homebody. -He is also able to summon Lotan, which in itself says a lot about his overall abilities. -I mean you probably got to be real strong to have an ancient sea serpent as a familiar/summon. -It is a canon fact that each demon can overpower the demon(s) below them, so even though he is physically weak, this implies that he can easily bring down his brothers save for Luci and Mammon. -He is also someone that the other brothers have mentioned avoiding winding up, vaguely mentioning how disastrous things can be if he loses control (this was brought up in one of their devilgram posts, I'm sorry idr which one anymore) -Also it is basically canon that the ranking is based off magical power so let's talk about that a little too. -When it comes to abilities via magical powers I think Levi's abilities are one of the most talked about. -It's mostly to do with water (a.k.a controlling a whole element) -He can summon giant floods, breathe underwater (or hold his breath for a scarily long time I've forgotten), and can even communicate with sea life. -Sailor man you really turn me on- -Lastly, and what I believe is a valid theory; their assigned sin/emotion is a huge source of their magic power -The first three, Pride (Lucifer), Greed (Mammon), Envy (Leviathan), are pretty consistent emotions. They're feelings that more or less stays with you. A prideful person is always prideful, a greedy person is always greedy, etc. -The rest of the brothers, their sins are more commonly a feeling that comes and goes. A person will become angry and calm again, a person will become sleepy and will stop once they've slept (yk what I'm trying to say, sorry I'm doing my best to word this in English) -Which is why, I think Lucifer, Mammon and Levi are the stronger demons. -Similarly it may also be based on how their sins affect the world but that's harder to judge/rank.
Bonus: -I do think Levi's insecurities play a big part in locking up his potential strength. -He's never really interested in talking about or showing off his strength (he's more proud of his gaming prowess) -Overall he may be the most peaceful demon amongst his brothers, which makes him come across as weaker than he truly is. -But we should know by now, peacefulness is not the absence of strength.
So yeah, obviously Levi is not the strongest. And I'm sure he has a lot of people telling him he doesn't deserve to be higher than his other brothers. But I beg to differ.
Leviathan deserves his position as the third brother. And y'all should be glad God didn't give him an ego bc if he did you'd all be screwed.
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me!#obey me leviathan#obey me nightbringer#leviathan best boy#leviathan
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as a retired ff writer ive come out of hibernation bc the lack of smallville clark kent ffs is unacceptable tom welling is toooooo fine
sorry for all the grammatical errors i wrote this all at once and didn’t reread
SECRET ADMIRER - clark kent x reader
Fumbling the lock of your locker, you sigh; you were on your fifth day at smallville high school and you weren’t ecstatic to say the least. After your dad had gotten into some legal trouble with LutherCorp your family had to move out of Metropolis to somewhere more safe.. more remote. Adjusting to the rural life of smallville had proven to be difficult and the people seemed strange. Slamming a fist against your locker you try again, meticulously turning the lock of the locker. Click. As you open the doors of the locker, a piece of paper slowly falls out.
Picking it up you read your name in bright red across the folded up piece of paper, you smile to yourself thinking, my very own secret admirer..
Maybe smallville won’t be so boring.
—————
Sipping on your coffee, you annotate your copy of the scarlet letter for English class. “Hey! y/n right?” A friendly voice calls out. You look up from your book, smiling. “Yeah! you must be Lana?” She nods, “I see your getting ready for the English exam, you need any help?” You glance at your book before starting, “I’m good for now.. I’ll let you know if I have any questions!” She smiles again before turning away to walk back behind the counter. Your eyes follow her as she talks to the costumers by the counter, they look familiar— a blonde girl with short wispy hair, and two other guys beside her.
You almost jump out of your own seat when you lock eyes with one of the boys, has he been looking at me this whole time? You think, embarrassed, quickly focusing on your book again. Although you’ve looked away you can still feel his gaze lingering on you.
“Hi.” You’re startled as you hear the voice, looking up at the boy that was staring at you from across the room. Before you can reply he starts, “You’re in my first period Bio class.. you know.. with Jenkins..” You blink, waiting for him to continue. He gulps, “uh well Jenkins is really tough.. and we have our first quiz next class so I was wondering if you would want any help….?” You smile sweetly, what is it with small town folks being so eager to help out? “Yeah I would really like that actually,” He smiles, almost in a relived way. “Great. You’re actually my new neighbor so I’ll just come over to help out,” He says before turning away. You cock your head to the side before saying, “Wait.” He turns around, facing towards you, “I never got your name,” you say.
“Clark Kent.”
—————
You’re sitting on your bed as you peer up at Clark while he explains how to convert moles into grams, “So you’re going to divide the number of particles by Avogrados number..” You yawn tuning him out, your eyes fall the paper that slipped out of your locker earlier today. I still haven’t read that note. You grab the note, opening it up, “y/n are you listening to me.” He says clearly frustrated. “Sorry Clark..” you say apologetically smiling, he notices the paper in your hands and nervously looks back up at you. “What is that?” He says, shifting around in his seat, looking intently at your face. You smile lightly, giggling, “It’s a letter from my secret admirer.” He visibly relaxes, “Oh.. I take it you like having one?” You nod shrugging, “makes smallville a lot more interesting than it could be.” He fake winces, “Smallville is a lot more interesting than you think.” You raise your eyebrows unconvinced, “Really? You’ll have to show me what’s so ‘interesting’ one day.” He smiles glancing down, “Maybe I will.”
You look at Clark’s notebook and your eyebrows furrow, the handwriting looking strikingly similar to the one in the note you found this morning. “Clark..” “Hm?” He looks up at you, “Do you possibly happen to know whoever wrote me that note?” He scratches his head, “No? Why would I?…” You shrug, “Just curious..” He awkwardly smiles before writing in his notebook again. You shift your position on your bed, scooting closer to him, “Clark, it’s ok you can tell me if you do know…” you bring your hand to his exposed forearm caressing it. He coughs before breathlessly stating, “I really don’t know who wrote it, y/n.” You push up against him, drawing circles up his arms, “Hm.. that really is too bad..” He swallows dryly, “yeah?” You nod slowly, “yeahhh.. I would’ve gone along with everything they wrote in that letter..” There’s a moment of silence as he looks at you. He shuts his eyes, sighing hard before confessing, “I wrote it.”
You grin mischeviously, running a hand through his hair, “You really didn’t have to lie, Clark..” He opens his eyes to look at you, his cheeks red from embarrassment, “y/n” “hmm?” You hum, tilting your head bringing your lips closer to his. He glances at them, sighing heavily before parting his lips to say something. He’s cut off by you pressing your lips against his, you feel his body relax into yours, his hands sliding up your back and his lips pushing deeper into the kiss. You pull away from the kiss, your hands holding Clark’s head; using your thumb you wipe lipstick off of Clark’s swollen lips as he looks at you longingly.
You press your lips together, suppressing a giggle, “Hmm it’s getting late.. how about we pick back up tomorrow?”
#tom welling#clark kent#tom welling smut#clark kent smut#superman#clark kent x reader#x reader#red k clark#clark kent smallville#smallville#smallville clark kent#superman x reader#tom welling x reader#secret admirer
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Hey congratulations on the milestone 🥳
Can I request letter A 🫶🏻
hope you enjoy & ty for participating! 🌹
OTHER 1K DRABBLES | Read on AO3 Join the celebration by requesting a letter!
letter: A | prompt: adrenaline | wc: 2.1k | cw: alcohol, mostly just them making out bc Emily doesn't get her way lol | a/n: Post-ep for 7x15, "A Thin Line."
Please do not repost (reblogs welcome) or otherwise claim as your own.
--
“Prentiss.”
Without looking up from her desk, Emily simply made an unintelligible noise in response.
“Come on, Emily.” Hotch’s voice was gentle yet insistent. He’d been watching her stare blankly at her after-action report for nearly an hour, her leg bouncing rapidly all the while. Idly, he wondered if she’d even be able to bear weight on the leg and found himself moving in a little closer in case he needed to steady her. “I’m taking you home.”
Emily finally raised her gaze to meet his. “I don’t want to go home.”
He nodded knowingly. He had expected as much, knew what the weight of silence in an empty apartment felt like, especially after a case like this one. “Then let’s get a drink. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”
Emily studied him for a long while: the strength in the set of his jaw, the sharp angle of his body, his hand heavy on the back of her chair. What she really wanted was to be reckless, anything to stave off the dread that had weaseled its way under her skin. Running herself ragged at the gym, maybe, or getting into a fight, or fucking a stranger.
But, she conceded, in lieu of those, there were worse ways to cap the evening than at O’Keefe’s with Hotch.
--
From the moment they set foot in the bar, their eyes were everywhere but on each other. Even with the bass of the unrecognizable song pounding through them like a heartbeat, silence pressed pointedly between them as Hotch’s mind raced. As he thought about how everything had narrowed to the sight of her emerging from Hilary Ross’s home, blood snaking bright red down her fingers. As he thought about the way fear had dried his mouth, tasting bitter on his tongue.
She had been quick to reassure everyone that she was okay, of course, a demonstration of overcompensation that had only made him more apprehensive. He knew she could feel his eyes on her during their flight home, especially as Morgan had moved to sit by her, clutching her good hand in apology. He had watched Emily’s lips twist teasingly as she once again assured the other man that San Bernardino was not an echo of that warehouse in Boston just a year before.
He had watched as Morgan rose and returned to his previous seat, and Emily’s careful mask crumpled ever so slightly around the edges.
He had watched as her gaze found his and held it, a challenge.
“I’m okay.”
Hotch blinked in surprise; he hadn’t expected she would be the one to broach the topic. He took a long pull of his beer. “It’s okay if you’re not.”
That earned him a trademark Prentiss glare. His lips twitched at the sight, glad her fight wasn’t gone entirely. “I know,” she replied testily.
“Do you? Because your thumb is bleeding from where you’re picking and I don’t think you’ve noticed.” He watched as she snapped back into her body and reached across their small booth for a napkin to staunch the small crescent of blood. “Your first injury in the field since Doyle, and with Morgan as your partner nonetheless,” he said carefully. “What you’re feeling is understandable, Emily.”
“Hotch,” she warned, before downing the rest of her negroni. “Your projecting isn’t exactly making me feel better.”
He raised his hands slightly. “I’m not projecting. I’m just looking out for a friend.”
She knew he was right, of course; no amount of overcompensating could make her do Morgan’s healing for him, but when she closed her eyes, she could still see the all too familiar look on his face as he registered her injury. She didn’t want to be thinking about any of that right now, though, and she certainly didn’t want the play-by-play of her boss profiling her in real time.
Emily grumbled something that sounded a lot like who died and made you my therapist then pushed herself up onto her feet. “I need another drink.”
--
“I want to dance,” Emily said, several shots later. “And I want you to come with me.”
Hotch frowned pointedly at her sling. “Emily, you need to go home and rest.”
“You’re so serious,” she whined. “Come on, Hotch. Loosen up for a night,” she said with a devious smile. She traced a slender finger around the rim of his glass of whiskey, toying with the idea of getting him another drink—anything to get the tension out of his body. “Please? For me?”
Hotch eyed her pretty pout warily—he had always been a sucker for her doe eyes, and he was beginning to think she knew—then stood and extended his hand. “One dance.”
“Excellent.”
They both knew it wouldn’t just be one.
Emily hummed contently as they moved in tandem to the beat of the music. His touch was light and respectful but warm, and she found herself leaning into it more and more. Inhibitions blissfully lowered, she dropped her fingers to the curve of his arm to trace a vein there, causing his hip to stutter accidentally against hers. Her gaze snapped up to his then, and her heart pounded at the look of obvious want in his eyes. Her resulting smile was beatific.
“What’s making you smile like that?” Hotch murmured, the low thrum of his voice only stoking her need.
“Nothing,” she said sweetly, biting her bottom lip and watching as his eyes flicked down to her mouth, then back up.
He chuckled. “You’re not a very good liar when you’re tipsy.”
“But you have to admit, I’m a pretty good dancer for someone who got shot less than 24 hours ago,” she said brightly, before looping her good arm around his neck and closing the space between them—the space he’d been trying diligently, if not half-heartedly, to keep.
“That you are.”
Fuck, she felt good as she moved against him. He vaguely registered the alarm bells sounding at the back of his mind at the heat building between them, but Hotch couldn’t think beyond the fact that this was Emily and she was in his arms, just like he had wanted for years. Every glance through his blinds at her in the bullpen, every cup of coffee delivered to him with a smile, every swish of her ponytail when they were paired together in the field, all of it building and cooling and culminating here.
“You were right, by the way,” he said eventually. She made a curious noise in response, the sound turning into a giggle at the shiver she pulled from him as her thumb traced mindless little patterns at the very top of his spine. “I was projecting. I didn’t want you to be alone this evening…but I didn’t want to be, either. I needed to see that you were okay.”
Emily looked up at him, besotted, then took his hand in hers and placed it over her chest. He clenched his jaw at the action; he could feel her heart, strong and racing at his touch, and was instantly consumed by the need to find every way he could elevate her heartbeat. To feel her heartbeat at every join of her, every join of them.
“Feel that?” she whispered, cutting through his reverie. “I’m okay.”
--
He hadn’t meant to kiss her back. Really, he hadn’t.
One minute, they were dancing, their bodies moving in sync as they toed the line of propriety with stolen touches, a nose against a cheek; the next, she was silencing his laugh by pressing her lips to his, rejoicing at the groan that rattled in the back of his throat as he felt her tongue coaxing his mouth open.
Hotch’s grip on her hips tightened, but the taste of gin and campari in her sweet mouth made him channel all of his restraint and pull away. “Emily—”
She moved her lips to the corner of his mouth. “If you even try to stop this,” she whispered, “I will break your jaw.”
Hotch barked out a surprised laugh. “Sweet talker,” he said dryly. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Emily grinned widely. “I like the sound of that.”
As he piled her into the car, Hotch felt a pang of guilt at the victorious expression that had flickered across Emily’s face. He knew what she was craving; she needed a release, she needed him, but no matter how much he wanted the same, he knew he couldn’t follow through. Not tonight.
Finally reaching Emily’s place after much giggling and wandering fingers at stop lights, Hotch watched amusedly as she threw herself onto her couch. “Can I get you anything?” He eyed the Bialetti on her stovetop before sitting down beside her. “Some espresso to sober you up?”
“I’m not drunk,” she countered unconvincingly.
He snorted. “How about a different method? Dave shared a hangover trick with me when I was still fresh out of the Seattle field office. You’d just need amaro, which feels like something Emily Prentiss would keep around.”
She gave a throaty laugh at that and the sound shot straight to his groin. “I do have amaro. You are not the only one Dave has ever plied with expensive alcohol and gotten drunk. But,” she said, holding his gaze, “I don’t want to talk about Dave anymore.”
And at that, she straddled him.
Hotch’s eyes fell shut at the press of Emily’s body against his. There was something about her that triggered the most visceral reactions from him, his throat constricting and chest tightening as her teeth found the shell of his ear, the sensitive spot right below it. Perhaps it was that he had imagined this so many times before: imagined unraveling her carefully constructed exterior and coming undone to her, with her, imagined finding her pulse point with his mouth and sucking hard enough to leave a bruise, only now he was actually doing it and she was whining and it was the most exquisite sound he had ever heard.
Emboldened by the sear of his mouth on her neck, Emily reached for him with renewed determination and urgency, fisting a hand in his shirt and making to tug it upwards over his head. It was the jolt to the present that Hotch needed, and he forced himself away, panting heavily. He wanted her to keep going, wanted to feel her, wanted to press his mouth to more of her, cut through her anxiety and adrenaline right to the core of her and make her fly apart; but instead he dropped his face in the curve of her collarbone and left a kiss there. “Emily, you have no idea how hard it is for me to stop you right now,” he ground out, “but we shouldn’t do this tonight.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea how hard you are,” she purred, rocking her hips against his and rejoicing in his resulting whispered fuck. “I want you, Hotch.”
“And I want you, too. I have for years.” Hotch smiled a little at the pretty blush that colored her already ruddy cheeks at his words. “But regardless of how eloquently you protest, I’m going to feel like I’m taking advantage of you right now,” he said as she opened her mouth to interject, “and I don’t want this to be something you regret tomorrow morning.”
Ghosting her lips against his in a barely-there kiss, Emily slowly shook her head. “I could never regret this,” she whispered.
“Please, Emily,” Hotch said a final time, stilling her hand as she tried taking her own shirt off this time. He rose to his feet, Emily still wrapped snugly around him. “Not like this. We need to get you to bed.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole time,” she said cheekily; but she followed him obediently, flashing him an inviting smile once she had stretched out across her bed. She watched him hungrily as he raked his gaze over her and swallowed thickly.
Needing the distraction, Hotch slipped away to find ibuprofen and fill her a glass of water. When he returned, she had dressed down and removed her sling, and was staring at him as if he were stupid, but he just shook his head and sat in bed beside her. “You’ve had a really hard day,” he said gently, running a hand through her silky hair. “When the alcohol and adrenaline wear off tomorrow, I’ll be right here, okay?”
“Sometimes I hate that you’re such a good guy,” she said with a concessional sigh; but when she looked at him, all he saw reflected in her gaze was admiration.
Hotch couldn’t help but crack a smile at that. “I’m sorry.”
Emily laughed then, lolling her head to the side to peer at him with tired eyes. “Thanks, Hotch,” she said softly.
“Of course, Emily.”
She was out in a matter of minutes.
#holy shit i finally finished it#this mini moodboard is one of my faves btw#hotchniss#hotchniss fanfiction#hotchniss fic#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fanfiction#emily prentiss#emily prentiss fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#cm#cm fanfiction#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss#hotch x prentiss#hotch x emily#aaron x emily#1k celebration#mine*cm
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yall ever think Shen Yuan went through like, internet withdrawal after being transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu? Like, he's canonically a NEET shut-in who did nothing but spend his time online, you can't tell me that for the first week or first few weeks of being SQQ he wasn't twitchy.
Like, reaching instinctively to his pockets for a phone that wasn't there, having an obsessive itch in the back of his mind that he should check and see if X or Y novel or webcomic has updated -- only to realize he can't anymore and being irritated by it. Wanting to go and see if there's new posts about this or that, but again realizing that he can't.
When he's bored or uncomfortable or just feels like wanting to escape he tries to go for his phone to distract himself, but oops! Not there anymore, and now he has to find a new and different way to distract himself from his feelings. And going through system notifications, quests, etc only does so much.
And there's that Tetris Effect too. SQQ makes a mistake while writing and instinctively goes to backspace on it except hey-ho that's not a keyboard and now he just dipped his pinkie into a bottle of ink or on a still-drying letter.
With him scrambling to fix his reputation and learn how to be a peak lord, I think his abrupt cold-turkey from all things internet would just be another straw on the camel's back that he promptly Ignores until it goes away on its own after he acclimates to his new surroundings.
#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#i think him learning how to be a peak lord and cultivation and everything else would help distract him from the internet withdrawal for the#most part. but the moment there's a lull in the day and his mind wanders or he becomes bored or stressed and he instinctively reaches back#for his phone and realizes it isn't there it just sends a spike of panic/frustration/irritation through him because its a familiar comfort#and now its gone. like this is all based off my own experiences from being Chronically Online but i just think its neat to think about#in that same vein i think it also pushes him into getting into the arts on QJP. Like as the peak lord naturally he would be doing this kind#of stuff but hes NOT the peak lord but to keep up appearances he has to know how to do this stuff. and finds it??? actually quite rewarding#even more than getting into an argument online or getting a new merch item. he's making or doing this stuff. he starts drawing and finishes#a piece and regardless of its skill level he feels something unclog in his chest. like sediment being scraped off the bottom of a creek and#being washed downstream. a weight that's been slogging through his veins suddenly untangled. physical proof of his efforts that feels great#starry is incapable of NOT giving her favorite blorbos more hobbies. starry is incapable of not giving her favorites artsy hobbies#this is probably NOT a new or original thought whatsoever but im throwing it out there anyways bc it fascinates me. i love transmigration#and albeit i've only read isekai manhwa/manhua there's a common theme of the people there assimilating into their new lives relatively quic#which i know is for ease of transition and getting to the rest of the story. but WHAT IF.#i have still not read svsss yet and idk when i'll be able to BUT have some thoughts anyways
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like theyre like siblings part 2 for me
explaination or smth
#undertale#frisk#flowey#toriel#premaposting#siblings part 2 ksjadjakdnad i just realized how funny that sounds#aksjdakdjkasda#you can tell i kinda burnt out later#it is 12 am#give me slack#i like to think flowey was adverse to the friendship#since yknow#deja vu isnt fun when its associated with a bad memory#but eventually was kinda chillin#oh yeah this point only frisk knows he's asriel thats it#imagine your adopted child pulls up with someone who you dont recognize as their biological son#but no one tells you#i like to think that flowey overtime would kinda care about frisk more#but also be like#100000 ft wall bc this is all feels too familiar for good but more freshly bad reasons i dont like that#im sorry if this explaination barely makes sense#im kinda trynna rush this rn#but uh#click linked post for slightly more clear explaination idkdsnadkjajanska
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i was gonna do this meme with the original format then a much better came to mind
#stranger things#erica sinclair#dustin henderson#idk if they have a friendship name#i am usually v good about not cross tagging but bc these are literally the least popular characters so byler and max will be tagged bc byle#is popular and bc i produce so much max content it evens out lol#max mayfield#byler#dustin and erica being mlp friends is so special to me btw#also 4 those not familiar w/ the mlp g1 naming conventions these names makes sense#technically there was already a pony named ribbon but it's hard to find a single word girly concept or item that they didn't use#and the boys were named shit like quarterback and barnacle so i feel like dragonslayer is in character for dustin and mlp#also if it was the original format i would've used like lucas or steve but i also couldn't because they would also think erica's ponysona i#cool and want their own tbh
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Ransom Greyson,
6'8 dhampir tattoo artist with daddy issues. recently lost his mother and decided to move to new york san myshuno from new orleans willow creek to find his deadbeat vampire father. goes back and forth on whether or not this was a good decision but well. he's pretty much broke now, so it is what it is.
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#forcing myself to commit by adding his lil bio thing to this post even tho im very inconsistent with these anyway#ok so. i lied last time but im so fr this time this is the last time im editing him im so serious#look at him tho.........thats my baby#i feel like i might have gone a little full circle with his makeovers bc he looks familiar?? in a weird way#i know that sounds dumb bc hes the same oc but#like he looks different usually for every single makeover but i FOR SURE think we've had this face before....must be how hes meant to be#he matches my drawings of him better AND ok im realizing as im typing that he looks familiar bc he looks VERY MUCH like his ts3 version#so. theres that#anyway. bisexual pretty and mentally ill#he just like me fr#bye
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cheneige moment aka me trying to learn how 2 draw rsa students
#u can probs read better @ full screen image lol sowwy i cram a bunch of tiny things onto one canvas#twst#twisted wonderland#cheneige#neige leblanche#chenya#cereal tries to draw#marinating them in my mind i think theyd be a fun combo#also guest star vil and cater hanging out 😌#i also want to see more cater and chenya interactions but this aint about them [yet] [ill give chenya a caytober day later] [maybe neige to#maybe they can share a day lol we'll see#anyway didnt chenya and neige have like one(1) interaction in an event?? i feel like they did. or am imagining things.#am i mixing it up w/fanart??? i feel like theres one instance where neige and chenya were in a situation#and chenya was being a silly goober and neige was like chenya!! dont tease them!!!#but idr wtf was going on lol. i feel like it wouldve been glomas bc idr if theyre in any other events 2gether#ik chenyas at portfest but idr neige being there#well whether that was a real thing or not i do see it in my mind palace. they have that vibe TO ME!!!#chenya being a lil scamp and neige being like u are so fun but also u must be nice blease;#i love the comparisons of like. chenya to riddle + chenya to neige + cater to riddle#it's all connected... in my mind map.... similarities....#also trey is there. trey to chenya and cater as well LOL#anyway i love when rsa characters are on screen being like tralala teehee i love having a good time#and then a nrc character is clenching their fist like I WANT HIM DEAD#theyre so funny. why are they so dramatic. actually nvm hs rivalries are just like that#except usually both schools want blood so maybe rsa is the weirdo school here#the rain suddenly got really heavy while i was typing all this but then it chilled again#u know how it is w/a pre-hurricane#anyway i love that cater kinda knows chenya by extension of riddle and trey like he recognized him w/familiarity in the tea party or w/e#so i think it would be so funny if he was like wtf beyonce is dating my besties' bestie#tumblr cut off the rest of my tag rambling ig. SORRY.
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2023 reads
The Spider And Her Demons
YA Australian urban fantasy/horror
about a Malaysian-Chinese girl who’s half spider-demon, just trying to keep her head down and survive high school
when she accidentally kills and eats a man in front of the most popular girl at school, they strike up a strange friendship and she starts to learn more about herself and the supernatural world
aroacespec/sapphic ish
#The Spider And Her Demons#Sydney Khoo#loveozya#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#you give me a teenage girl with giant hair spider legs who scuttles across her bedroom wall on page 3#and then eats a man and i am already sold.#also aus books are always so familiar compared to US books :)#and yes sexuality stuff is ambiguous but basically: a bunch of discussion on relationship hierachies (ie friendship equally/more important)#themes of feeling unlovable bc you're different and different forms of love#multiple times the MC says she has no interest in dating or relationships and also is touch (and maybe sex) repulsed#- but of course that Also has to do with the whole Being A Monster thing#and it definitely shows some kind of attraction to dior - ie looking at her lips/bare skin; blushing; etc#and ends on sort of hand kiss / 'is this something??' vibes#I asked the author and they said they see them as QPR / platonic soulmates but are not at the point where they would know what to call it#which makes total sense to me!#the part of me who wants more obvious aroace YA wishes it was a little more specific#but also I DO love ambiguity and I think it wouldn't be true to the characters#who are clearly not even ready to start figuring that stuff out.#and also. aroacespec sapphics is like. also something i want#also like. I think it's reductive to assume just because 'looks at lips' is a common allo attraction trope....doesn't necessarily mean#it has to be that. yknow.#anyway. i loved it a lot.#gross spidergirl (affectionate)......#also dior is such an interesting and complex character. like another book could have made her nicer or less fucked up
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.
#i tried so hard to be funny and nice but the way they replied to each thing i said made me feel like a scumbag LOL#ive never had that happen before. im very polite when i talk to strangers and i was being very polite then too!#i dont think they even saw it happening in realtime bc they were so calm and even keeled about it#but my god. still thinking about it. absolutely rattled me.#'ur so cool' 'oh its not the olympics. everyones cool. ur cool too' 'haha ur right yet ur still winning' 'hm. its not a competition.'#i was trying to make you laugh im sORRY i was being goofy when i said that i promise i did not say it straight#'you have so many cool tattoos' 'oh ive got a couple tattoo artist friends' 'oh thats so cool. maybe i could get a foot in the door'#like obviously as a joke but they replied gently 'you shouldnt seek friends out just to get something from them.'#NO I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY IT HAPPENS TO ME CONSTANTLY I KNOW TRUST ME#i panicked and was like 'oh haha no i wasnt serious dont worry. im an artist so i know the feeling.' but i guess it came across as like#yknow. bc they just went 'hm.' and pulled out their phone#FUMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so embarrassed#the worst part was id been talking to someone in the back who makes familiar plushies and shed set a few out#so i was talking to them while i was trying to pull up her insta to look up more info about one of the familiars#bc it looked SO FUCKING COOL and i stood there saying that to my husband right in front of them after this legendary fumble#finally pulled up the insta post for it and. they own that one. its theirs. they dressed it like that. i was so fucking embarrassed skdjfks#i wanted to look at the pricetag bc i assumed it was there bc she HADNT sold it yet#god. legendarily embarrassed.
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omfg . radio play version of much ado with david as benedick from 2001
#this version of benedick is a lottttt more serious and restrained than the 2011 version#definitely due to the medium and bc it matches the energy of this version of beatrice way better#it's not david and catherine's insane comedic chemistry but it's still really good imo..#like it's obviously not as endlessly fucking funny as the 2011 version but it's still really solid#and i'm impressed with how they did the humor in a 100% audio format#and i actually really love this interpretation of benedick as more cynical and leaning into his Hater side#ironically david's benedick here generally comes off as older and more mature than his benedick 10 years later#'the prince's fool... hAhH???' is obviously extremely funny but also 'the prince's fool... [uppity hmph]' is Inspired#and his outraged 'oh!'s and gasps and sighs when he listens to don pedro/claudio/leonato talking abt beatrice being in love with him#also funnily enough i think benedick's whole monologue after this is SO good. if not better than the 2011 version#cuz it's more restrained you have benedick's haterism actively fighting and losing against his satisfaction and giddy laughter#and the bit where benedick challenges claudio is so ohhhghhgouhgghg#the way his voice deepens with 'and her death shall fall heavy on you' just FLOORS me it's fucking perfect#but also equally as fun are the line readings where they have evidently remained the same (or similar)#my dearrrrr ladyyyy disdaiiiiinnnn#and the 'she misused me past the endurance of a block' rant#and when he's bitching about claudio falling in love w hero#but the vibes are so different this feels like a whole separate guy and that's really cool#i'm not sure how much i would love this production overall if i wasn't as familiar w the play tho#much ado#essentially trying to say in the least embarrassing way possible that david tennant is now both my first and second favorite benedick
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len.exe
#鏡音レン#color#sketchy things#bakaroido#crossoverz#art queue#oh someone asked about the keytar in the tags and i did think about it but not super deeply for it to make sense#i liked to think when the buster is used one of the keys disappears#bc his shoots are the keytar keys#recharges automatically and probably works as a loader connected to the buster#all parts floats as layers and is also used as an instrument#(he can and will also beat up ppl with it bc regular len also. does that.)#also yeah rmx was one of my first big fandoms and the only thing i drew for years so im familiar to most of the sagas#its also one of the reasons why i ended up liking len and a lot of aspects of his design are fun to draw to me#i have always wanted to design him for X Exe Zero and Legends/Dash....... but i feel so rusty w the sagasfdsnjk
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feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole
#hivemind tv#hmfcu#riley savage#graydon weaver#quadeca#jane remover#eden burke#my art#2023#fanart#doodles#furry#its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online#doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself#and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling#and come back and then the cycle repeats#its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard#so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)'#NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here#and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out#and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave#i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style#idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment#i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one”#or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it”#sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse#whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m#friends for a while i think#woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography
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