#but i think i need to find like a kind of edible i can depend on

[c1airidryl]

Hmmm papas gonna need to switch to edibles again soon

[powdermelonkeg]

Trying to figure out TP Link's diet based on his environment.

Livestock-wise, we've got cuccos and goats. That means

Eggs

Milk

Butter

Cheese

Potentially meat, but I don't think they get eaten unless they're old. Too valuable otherwise | EDIT: Oh yeah you need to breed goats every couple years to get milk. Add in cabrito veal!

And we know for a fact that Ordon Goat Cheese specifically is a thing. Stamped wheel and everything.

There's also fish

And bees/hornets(? It's called bee larva, but the enemy is a Hylian Hornet)

Useful for bait, but Link can eat them.

Did some more research, and apparently in Japan they eat wasp larvae? Specifically in Kushihara. So I'm counting it.

Then plants-wise we have pumpkins

And...corn. Somehow. I've never seen corn growing, but Link has some hanging in his house, so it exists.

I'm choosing to believe it comes from these plants that grow in patches around Ordon.

That gives us a lot. We've got

Cornstarch

Cornmeal

Corn oil

Corn shoots

Pumpkin seeds

Pumpkin seed oil

Pumpkin flour

Pumpkin blossoms

No source of sugar, but depending on how the pumpkins in Ordon taste, they could be naturally sweet. Like pie pumpkins. Also corn syrup is a thing if it's a sweet corn. So corn syrup needs cream of tartar which comes from grapes and apples and such. It's a byproduct of wine. No corn syrup.

Edit: Malt sugar, though!

Now for hypothetical foods.

Ordon is surrounded by pine trees, so that adds pine needle tea and pine nuts to the mix. I was a little worried about species, but apparently there are a lot of pine trees that make edible seeds, so on the list it goes.

Then there are frogs near Rusl and Uli's house, wild songbirds on cliffs, and a squirrel that talks to Link directly, so those are huntable sources of meat.

Is horse grass a cattail? Maybe? Initially, I thought it was—the ends look like cattail seedpuffs, but the leaves are completely different.

I want to treat them like cattails. Cattails that also are probably the main food source for Epona and the goats.

If we do that, that means, on top of all the other uses cattails have like stuffing and tinder and antiseptic, we get

Roots

Shoots

Ground seeds

Can't find a good match for hawk grass though. Concluding that that's not edible. Equivalent exchange and all.

Side note, how do you think horse grass spreads? It's almost always in groups of two or more plants, so that suggests rhizomes, but the image of Link picking one up to blow and stuffing flying out the end of the horseshoe is hilarious to me.

Up next, there are ferns, primarily near trees. After very careful and way-too-deep analysis of a pixelated fern's leaves, I think it's bracken fern.

Which is mildly poisonous.

And also edible.

On the list it goes!

Then finally, Sera has some kind of herb hanging in her shop.

I don't know what it is. I'm calling it Ordon Spice. Congratulations, Ordon Pumpkin Spice is now a thing.

[dxwnfxll]

Heyy!! How are you?<3

I just found your blog and I'm so happy I did! So I decided to leave a request for some hc's of the main 4 eddsworld boys finding out the reader is a stoner? Like they'll just get into the house and see the reader faded af and just being extra chill abt everything??

If you don't do multiple character hc's, then the same premise but only for Tord. Thank you lovely :))

Hiya !! I'm doing swell ! Hope ya are to :) !!

And awesome HC idea totally gonna write it out

Hope ya enjoy it ! (And sorry for the wait i've been busy busy !!)

The eddsworld boys with a stoner reader

(gender neutral reader)

Tord

- So Tord is DEF a stoner, you can't tell me other wise. So when he casually arrives home one day a lil earlier than the others and finds reader faded as hell he just fucking laughs.

- He def gets high with reader, he has a collection of funny lil bongs including a anime girl one he spent a shit ton of money on.

- Reader got munchies? He's got ya, he's got his own lil munchie stash in his room.

- Readers first time getting high? He'll call you stupid but help you through it, make sure you don't freak tf out

- You and him probably sit on the couch looking like idiots laughing at the dumbest shit (probably a dumb commercial Tord keeps rewinding back over and over)

Edd

- I don't see Edd as a stoner but he's okay with the 'lifestyle', though when he came back after a cola run and found Reader staring at the ceiling snickering here and there he's very concerned

- " Did Tord give you something from his stash? TORD !! "

- When he figures out YOU are ALSO a stoner he's like " oh "

- He's kinda curious about what it's like sometimes, especially since he's been casually watching you/Tord getting high randomly and looking like y'all are having the time of your lives.

- Careful if you actually let him get high with you, He's gonna freak tf out and get some bad munchies

- If he never gets high with you though he just kinda keeps an eye on you to make sure you're okay

Matt

- He's not a stoner, doesn't even know what a stoner is. So when he comes home and smells something 'bad' in the air he thinks it's a damn fire

- Idk why he thought it was a fire he just did, he sees smoke coming under your door and grabs a bucket and before you even know it he's thrown water in your room...on you.

- He killed your vibe

- He does apologize though at least

Tom

- He used to be a stoner, he kinda stopped after he got into Smirnoff and didn't wanna be juggling both y'know?

- When he comes home and sees you on the couch he just holds in a lil laugh and goes " i know that face, someones tripping balls"

- He MAKES you give him a hit on the blunt/bong/whatever (or an edible if you prefer edibles)

- He's a pro at this shit so he's chilling, and hopefully you are too. But a few mins in he'll get up and grab some snacks for you two.

- He isn't a very giggly high when y'all two are high but he's more 'idiotic', he'll find random photos and think they're the funniest shit known to man kind. He's also very hungry and thirsty when he gets high

- Tord is NOT allowed during y'alls high time

- He takes big breaks when getting high, so if you're a stoner that does it daily or day after day he's not gonna smoke with ya every day. He smokes like maybe once or twice a week? It really depends

Bonus:

Eduardo

- He judges you, but when he sees how chill you are when high he decides to take a hit. He gets mad when he doesn't get high from one hit

- Excuse him he's a lil dumb, you tell him it takes more than one hit and he just grumbles before taking another hit

- Once he's high with you he just sits there, you probably gotta check on him to make sure he's okay

- After that time he gets high with you whenever he can, dude probably needs it tbh

Jon

- He doesn't really understand but he's cool with it ! :D

Mark

- Mark prefers to not be around whenever you get high, it's not that he hates you being a stoner he just isn't into smoking and all that. He does warn you about the bad stuff with smoking though womp womp

Paul

- Dude doesn't care, he probably finds you high in the barracks at the red army base. He probably sits with you and smokes his own cigarettes just chilling with you

- " everybody needs a break every now and then, just don't be high while your work yeah ? "

- If you ask for anything to help get you down from your high so you can work he'll usually help (if he's in a good mood)

Patryck

- Judging

- He doesn't like that you're high during work, doesn't like the smell and doesn't like how you act while high

- gets a lil annoyed if he has to help you walk around or anything

- def never getting high with you, but he's def had a contact buzz before

Yippe ! Hope you enjoyed sorry if it seemed rushed at all

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Would A Delibird Make A Good Pet?

For no particular reason, it’s time to cover delibird! A delibird would indeed make a good pet, though caring for one would come with some interesting quirks.

At nearly three feet tall, delibirds are certainly taller than I assumed, but they’re certainly not too large to fit in most homes. While, due to their resemblance to real-world penguins, one may worry about how well delibirds can handle warmer climates, have no fear: this species prefers cooler climates but is able to withstand the weather of locations as warm as the Alola Region (Sun)! One thing to keep in mind is that a delibird would most likely prefer to rest somewhere up high. Wild delibirds build their nests at the edge of sharp cliffs (Silver), indicating a surprising skill in either flight or climbing.

Delibirds have been known to get along great with humans, which isn’t surprising given their happy-go-lucky attitude and generosity. You see, this pokémon loves to share their food with humans and other pokémon, especially those in need (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum). There’s even tales of a delibird using their food storage to help a famous explorer reach the top of Mount Everest (Ruby/Sapphire)! This is a result of natural instinct: wild delibirds spend a lot of their time gathering food to carry back to their young in their bag-like tails (Silver). Delibirds aren’t picky about their food as they are omnivorous (Ultra Sun), which should make it easier to find the best way to feed them.

Their scavenging behavior won’t be without its difficulties, however. Delibirds are said to always be scrounging for food to share (Moon), so don’t be surprised when anything your delibird can reach that they think is food disappears into the folds of their tail, be it actually edible or not! You must also be prepared to graciously accept gifts that may not be the tastiest to you, like bug pokémon that they find outside (Ultra Sun). Just as you would need to keep your food away from a curious child, dog, or cat, you would need to make sure your delibird doesn’t get their hands on anything dangerous or precious. On the bright side, unless they’ve already eaten your missing item, you’ll always know where they’re hiding it!

Delibirds aren’t very dangerous at all. They can only naturally learn two moves: Present and Drill Peck. Drill Peck might hurt, sure, but given the species’ small beaks it would be far from lethal. Present, on the other hand, depends on what your delibird has managed to get their hands on. In a pinch, wild delibirds defend themselves by lobbing whatever they’re carrying at enemies to fend them off (Crystal). If a pet delibird tried to use Present to attack, what they’d be able to throw is entirely dependent on what they’re able to find. Not to victim-blame, but it’d kinda be on you. Thankfully, delibirds seem to only be violent if attacked (Crystal), so the chances of ending up in this situation are low.

Delibirds are small-ish, kind-hearted, nonviolent pokémon with a quirky lifestyle that may delight or annoy, depending on who you are. Overall, however, I’d wager that they’d make pretty good pets.

[sharkboy-starmites]

Can sebastian lay eggs?

Okay, so. I've been doing evil research and the conclusion I've come to is based on this:

Female anglerfish don't need to mate to lay eggs

Mantis shrimp don't need to mate to lay eggs

Sea snakes need to mate to lay eggs

Silver spinyfins need to mate to lay eggs

Great whites and blue whales don't lay eggs (technically great whites have eggs but they hatch in the womb because gw are oviviporos)

So this means the majority of fish he is need to mate to lay eggs/have babies. There is a slim chance he could lay eggs without mating (to me it depends on if he's afab or amab because laying eggs without mating is like... fish period?) But it's unlikely. So, the reason we were even having this conversation in the first place is because we were trying to find out what he eats. Because

He asks what's wrong with you when you eat a wall dweller

There aren't edible fish in the let vand zone

There just isn't food down there

So I've come to the conclusion that either he:

Used to have 4 arms and ate one of them

He eats the expendables when they die

I think he does both because one arm is not enough to sustain a BEAST like him (big boy) and it's not cannibalism if you aren't human anymore (joking kind of) also they don't care they're dead. Or maybe he does lay eggs and he eats them and that's his nutrition but that wouldn't work because the energy expended to lay them would most likely negate any nutritional benefit.

Suggest things you think he eats in the blacksite because idk.

[starlight-lesbians]

Would love to read more about their post-work hang out between the coffee shop and taco bell au. Especially Greaseball and Dinah. I just adore it so much

After Work HCs for the Coffee Shop/Taco Bell AU!

a/n: yesss i’ve been thinking about this!! cw for substance use (they smoke a little weed and it isn’t in detail), dinah is a year and some change younger than greaseball for context.

Greaseball was the first to find the old picnic table behind the dumpsters at the back of the parking lot. She was seventeen when she started at the Taco Bell and she really needed a place to avoid home at, so the hideout came in handy

Dinah came next, she started seeing Greaseball disappear behind the little brick wall hiding the dumpster and into the trees when she would take the trash out, so one day she snuck back there herself to see what it was

She found Greaseball leaning against the table, smoking a joint and scrolling on her phone. They made eye contact and Dinah made to leave her alone, but Greaseball waved her down, “You can stay, just don’t be a narc, okay?”

Dinah agreed, and so the spot became hers as much as it was Greaseball’s. They started coordinating breaks so they could sit together and trade food.

Slick got hired at the Taco Bell, and Greaseball let her in on the secret spot, followed shortly by Belle.

It kept going until everyone knew the spot. Even Momma knows, but she pretends she doesn’t and keeps their secret (Rusty felt guilty and told her)

Usually, depending on who’s there, they’ll pass around a joint and eat whatever food was wasted out at the end of the night.

Greaseball used to be the one who brought the weed, but Hydra does now because he has a better kind.

When they were still all teenagers, they’d play spin the bottle or truth or dare, but they slowly replaced that with Cards Against Humanity or just doing their last minute college homework. (they do still occasionally play spin the bottle for the sillies)

Dinah and Greaseball get the table to themselves for breaks as a general rule, they need their private flirting time because they still aren���t officially dating after three years of situationship madness

They do usually end up sneaking off from the group at night to make out because they’re annoying and stoned.

Pearl and Rusty are the only ones that don’t smoke, but they’ll take an edible if they’re offered

Hydra, Porter, and Lumber like to climb the trees surrounding the clearing in the dark as a “challenge” (at least one of them falls every night)

They have a game that’s essentially “Who had the worst customer today?” where they tell a story about the worst customer they had that day, and then everyone votes on which story was the worst. The winner gets all the leftover nacho fries and cinnabon bites.

Hydra taught Dinah how to roll a joint and Greaseball about killed him (they were Not flirting she’s just the most jealous mf ever, and she liked doing them for Dinah)

Electra is the only one who doesn’t go out there often, they’re technically invited but they don’t really seem interested

There’s some more of the sillies!! Ty for requestinggg!

as always requests are OPEN!!!

[maracujatangerine]

73.1 Forum Discourse

CW: institutionalised slavery, dehumanisation, box boy universe, pet whump

Previous

*

Posted by u/GreenBookworm 3 days ago:

Hi!

So, I haven’t really posted here before, but I’m at my wit’s end and I really hope that some of you can help me.

I have a male pet that I got from some less-than-ideal circumstances. He’s been with me for over a year now and he is really making progress. I think he is trusting me more and more and it seems like he is getting over some of his previous experiences.

Still, he wakes up from terrible nightmares very often. I’m not sure how to comfort him and how to make him feel safe. What do you think, how can I fix this situation?

TL;DR: My pet has terrible nightmares, what can I do?

Futureiteration77 – 3 days ago: How many times per day are your beating him?

ManiacalTiger – 3 days ago: I have a similar problem. My pet is always crying at night and keeping up the rest of the house. What do you recommend?

Futureiteration77 – 3 days ago: At least twice per day or they have too much pent up energy. As an pet owner it is your responsibility to help them manage and release this.

ManiacalTiger – 2 days ago: I have been doing at least three times and still have issues.

Blue_prominence – 3 days ago: What kinds of nightmares? Can u get him to give u more specific details? B specific.

GreenBookWorm - 2 days ago: Idk, really. He doesn’t like to talk about it. It is usually about the training, I think. Sometimes he talks about white rooms that are neverending - that is usually the exact phrase that he uses. Sometimes, it seems to be about his former masters. (He’s had several.) He screams and cries, sometimes he just seems… empty. Do your pets act the same?

Imaginativesloth – 2 days ago: Get him retrained.

Densecircus281 – 2 days ago: ^^ Good suggestion. That’s what I did.

Fancycyclone1565 – 2 days ago: Try NyQuil and Dramamine, both available OTC. Sometimes we also give ours an edible to help them sleep soundly all night.

Throwaway7966123 – 2 days ago: You could ask him if a nightlight would help.

AbsentSnark – 2 days ago: That’s ridiculous!!!!!! He won’t know that, it will only make the problem worse!! This is terrible advice. People shouldn’t come on here without having a basic understanding of how helpless and brainless pets are. It is shocking how much misinformation and bad advice is out there.

GreenBookWorm - 2 days ago: That is a good idea! I haven’t thought about that, thanks! Does your pet have a nightlight? Does he or she have nightmares, too?

Temporarydaybreak987 – 2 days ago: It may be difficult to face the time apart but retraining by professionals is the best option for both pet and owners.

Sunset_Lover – 2 days ago: I suggest finding a separate, soundproof room where you can lock him up at night. Even if he starts crying, it won’t wake you up. Edit: If you don’t have spare room you could use a muzzle

DeepSeaSquid – 2 days ago: if your Pet is a cuddly type, you can let him sleep near you? Mine is really needy and since I let him in my room his night crying has reduced almost completely. But again, it depends on your Pet’s type.

RueTheNymph – 2 days ago: I swear, those people. If you treat him softly like that he will never stop being clingy. Give him few beatings or whatever form of punishment he responds to the best and he will learn not to waste your time

DeepSeaSquid – 1 day ago: Thank you very much for your useless advice. Have you considered that my Pet is clingy because I want him that way? And if beatings simply worked then there would not be a need to make this post, hmm?

RueTheNymph - 1 day ago: You shouldn’t be allowed to be an Owner

DeepSeaSquid - 1 day ago: Lol, forgive me for wanting to have a lapdog

roses-and-embers - 1 day ago: @DeepSeaSquid nothing wrong with wanting to cuddle, but are you sure your Pet is not crying on purpose to manipulate you into letting him into your room?

DeepSeaSquid - 1 day ago: That’s a valid suspicion, but I am sure he’s not doing it on purpose. He’s having nightmares even if I’m not at home and someone else is watching him, besides he’s too well-behaved to dare to try and manipulate me.

*

This post is a collaboration with brilliant @distinctlywhumpthing and @octopus-reactivated. ✨❤️✨

It is a crossover AU with Leo from Distinctlywhumptning’s Unintentional. We also have a cameo from Octopus-reactivated’s Decima from Title me Miss. For Lydia and Coriander, this is canon.

*

Tag List Part 1: @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-em @whumpzone @wh-wh-whu @neuro-whump @carnagecardinal @cowboy-anon @whump-me-all-night-long @redwingedwhump @myst-in-the-mirror @haro-whumps @eatyourdamnpears @bloodsweatandpotato @pinkraindropsfell @whumptywhumpdump @theydy-cringeworthy @whump-in-progress @whumpsy-daisy @nicolepascaline @whumpcreations @briars7 @shiningstarofwinter @whumppsychology @alex-ember @miss-kitty-whumptastic @whumpy-writings @in-patient-princess @youtube-fandoms-bands @goblinchildindabog @mazeish @distinctlywhumpthing @inpainandsuffering @canniboylism @icannotweave @incoherent-introspection @kim-poce @broken-typewriter @the-monarch-whumperfly @whumpers-inc @grizzlie70 @lil-whumper @writingbackwards @sunflower1000 @wingedwhump @thecitythatdoesntsleep @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @onlybadendings @rabass @wolfeyedwitch @melancholy-in-the-morning

[bucketspammer4life]

ITS....

MY BIRTHED DAY YIPPEE YAY YIPPEE HIP HİP HOORAY!!! ♡

and for that.. i bring you..

☆ the boxers planning a birthday party ☆

and for this special ocassion.. I will be posting my cringe writing!!!! Happy birthday to me!!!

Glass Joe

- 99% he was the one that baked the cake, he really didnt have a choice other than to go with the walmart cake

- doting on everything, the cake has to be the perfect flavor, the invitations have to be in the right font so its not too fancy but its not too bland, the decorations need to be cheery but not too childish, the presents need to be spot on with whatever they like but not too spot on because stalking people is not cool, generally organized

- on that last note, he can and will stalk your social media accounts to find out what you like and how you like it, you'll suddenly see that "baguettedude420" is following your Facebook account and "winethief21" is viewing your instagram story (and accidentally liked a post from 2016 uh oh)

- going all out like its your last birthday

Von Kaiser

- doing his best, hes not good at remembering dates so he usually celebrates it WAYYY too early or after a week, you'll see a "happy birthday!!" message from him a month after your actual birthday

- gets "generally liked" gifts if he doesnt know what you like including: perfume, merch of a band you might like, jeans and socks (kaiser you have bad taste)

- will buy a pre-made cake because baking is not his thing

- will not sing happy birthday, nuh uh hes not putting you through that

Disco Kid

- going all out like this is his last day on earth, you cant get him to directly ask you "what do you want for ur birthday" because he'd rather cartwheel off a cliff than do that, doing mental gymnastics to find out what you would like for your birthday, "oh so you like sharks?" He then proceeds to get you shark themed gifts (if you have a hyperfixation on something really specific this is a win for you)

- goes out of his way to make, decorate & throw edible glitter at a cake for you

- definitely asking your friends "what does this bitch like??" (not that exact question but still close) since he doesnt have the guts to ask you what you like without making it obvious he wants to get you something specific

-oversinging happy birthday

King Hippo

- rushing on the last day, the only thing that saved him was the reminder on his phone

- also stalks your social media accounts because he didnt have the time to think about what hes gonna get you, uh oh looks like "theking5262627" is following your instagram account

- his gifts are mostly food related, like baking? Heres a whisk, like cooking? Heres a apron & a pan, like fruit? Enjoy this Apple shaped mug

- bakes a gorgeous cake, if you dont like how it tastes he'll be heartbroken, so for now you'll have to suffer through the blueberry allergy or he'll be sad

Piston Hondo

- overdoing everything like Joe, this time its not limited to asking your friends & stalking your social media accounts, hes gonna contact your family & ask your siblings and parents like "i know that you dont know me but your childs birthday is coming up what do they like pls tell me im gonna get them a gift" and it usually ends in hondo being friends with your parents, hes gonna whip out the oujia board to contact your deceased relatives to ask what kind of cake you like, hes gonna to swim in your gene pool to find out what your favorite color is, hes gonna get info, one way or another

- He thinks more about your birthday than you do, planning this like his life depends on it

-makes sure the decorations fit your taste because nothings worse than a badly decorated birthday (other than a family argument ending in both sides cutting contact but my point stands)

- makes it obvious hes planning it, you could say something like "i think green is a really good color" And he would just start overthinking it like "so you like green??? Do you also like plants?? Nature??? Mint??"

Great Tiger

- He already knows what you want, what flavor of cake (or any other desert) you want since he stalked your social media accounts WAYYYY before this, what on earth made you think "thegreatestman11" was a normal account

- dont let him sing happy birthday (PLEASE) or he'll perform a entire choreography (am i spelling that correctly)

- baking and putting his soul into it, theres sweat, blood and tears in that cake (not in the literal sense hes not that nasty) but he did see the light halfway through decorating the cake

Bear Hugger

-going off vibes & what he knows and is pretty spot on, if he cant decide on a gift he'll make a Facebook account (not to stalk you this time) to abuse the data stealing algorithm and get you a funny t shirt, sorry but your legally a old man who skateboards, has a weird obsession with fire extinguishers and was born in august now enjoy your destiny

- cannot bake to save his life, if you told him to bake a simple cake or do a backflip off a building he'll happily take the plunge, for this reason he just gets Ms. Bear to help

- you will get at least one (1) camo themed object from him

Don Flamenco

- this fucking bastard, hes rushing the last day to get you a present from walmart, hes just grabbing objects he could see you looking at and going "This is ok i guess" And running, cake? He got it from a bakery since he was normal enough to get you a edible cake with a hint of care

- He just dissapears after 20 minutes from your party he has places to be and this is not one of those

Aran Ryan

- fucking hell. He gets you dumb t-shirts off aliexpress along with gag gifts since he doesnt have the energy to be sane, best case scenario he'll handcarve you a little cat made from wood if he cares enough

- worst cake ever, hes simply struggling, eating the cake he baked would cause you a stroke, 20 heart attacks, 98 diseases, 2 ancient curses and liver failure, he has to film a apology video now uh oh

Soda Popinski

- handmaking stuff for you, decorations? He made them all, gifts? He crochetted (im so not spelling that right), he knitted, he carved and baked (both a cake and clay)

- definitely came late but still came

- (forgive me for these becoming short im exhausted + this is a scheduled post)

Bald Bull

- definitely not coming because no one wants to get swarmed at their birthday, no way

- He wont even go through with getting you a gift, hes just gonna send you money because why struggle with thinking about a person when they can think about themselves??

- stalking your social media accounts (not even for your birthday, hes just a bit noisy)

Super Macho Man

- same case as Bull, sends you money & wont show up, except this time he also gets you gifts other than money, also stalking your accounts

- no cake but will go all out for your decorations

Mr Sandman

- actually sane, hes not overthinking it but hes not forgetting about it either, he'll get you stuff he thinks you would adore, hes not really spot on but hes doing his best

- needs help with the cake, Sandman please stop youre gonna burn the kitchen down and im sure this is the 2nd building you'll wreck if you dont stop

[thevagabondexpress]

Can't believe I've never asked you for them, but could I please have some Christopher headcanon 🤲🏻

Okay. Christopher headcanons. Go.

A) He hates ties. He feels like the kind of person who'd just. Hate ties. And also collars because of the way collars were starched back then. It's too restrictive, and something scratches every time he turns his head. So whenever he can he wears sweaters (which were just barely coming into fashion at the time) to avoid that, and if he can't then he wears bow ties because at the very least those don't pose an occupational hazard if they come untucked from your shirt/waistcoat.

B) He sets stuff on fire on purpose more often than you'd think. Specifically he burns old paper that he knows for sure he's never going to need again (grocery receipts once the taxes have been done and notes telling his mum he'll be late for lunch and stuff like that) and clothes he's irreparably ruined. It's an efficient method of disposal, it serves a practical purpose in keeping the laboratory warm, and depending on what it was that ruined the shirt he's burning, it might turn the fire blue or green. Matthew keeps a hawk's eye on this practice to make sure Christopher doesn't set fire to anything anyone is actually going to care about, but Kit doesn't have any intentions to.

C) He's also not, actually, a shit cook. I see this a lot in fanfics but I actually think he'd be reasonably good at it. Baking is an edible form of chemistry, and I think he'd enjoy stir fry because pop! sizzle! spatter! There's plenty of appeal there for someone who's not afraid of explosions. However he's not really into cooking for other people (he already doesn't like parties that much, the idea of entertaining is a huge no) so nobody will probably ever know this unless they're actively living with him.

D) He seems to be well known and well loved at the Shadow Market. While he obviously interacts with that world differently from the way Anna or Matthew do, I think Christopher also thrives in the Downworld spaces he visits. He's not threatening, he doesn't have his nose in the air, but he's also not scared of these people, he doesn't get nervous being in a room full of werewolves. He's just a guy who pays well for mushrooms and maybe he's not going to remember your name but for some reason he'll remember that your little brother sprained his wrist doing something stupid last week and probably ask after him.

E) Speaking of memory, I think his works a lot like mine does. The things neurotypical people think are important, like names and deadlines and grocery lists, just get lost in the ether. But if it's a weird little detail? Oh, he'll remember it to the end of time. Does he remember your name? No. Does he remember what medals your grandfather earned when he served in the war? Yes. Does he remember that he was supposed to buy celery? No. Does he know eight common names for celery as well as the scientific one? Yes. Stuff like that. At first you think he never remembers anything. Then you begin to think he never forgets anything. Come to find out, both are equally true, at the same time.

F) He grinds his own glasses lenses. He employs a jeweller at the Shadow Market to make the frames, but he makes the lenses himself and adjusts their strength on his own. While he needs the glasses to see they also can be really annoying in some circumstances, especially battle, so he's spent years developing glue that he can use to keep them on his head in a fight (and solution to safely dissolve the glue later), and shatterproof lenses, and more effective cleaning solution, and even a primitive antifogger.

G) Personally I headcanon him as having both autism and ADHD and one of my reasons for the autism headcanon is I think he's a hyposensitive/low-pain autistic. He tolerates cuts and burns to a far greater extent than other people would. While he'd never hurt himself on purpose (in fact, if you ever brought up the idea, he'd probably look at you like you'd suggested he was an elephant), he'll take, say, a pretty good cut to the shoulder from an exploding beaker, and only realize he's bleeding when he goes to see why his shirt feels wet. He's the kind of person who could get an absolutely massive full-color tattoo and it'd just feel like little scratches. What he would want a tattoo of I don't know though, I don't think I could see him with one.

H) This is a lot less lighthearted than stuff previous, but I'm going to dig into that "if he lived" hypothetical again. Personally I think, once he woke up from the coma/came back from the dead/what have you, I think he would've been disappointed and maybe a little annoyed with Grace about the fire messages. She credits the first one as "invented by Christopher Lightwood and sent by Grace Blackthorn" but I think in his eyes, while she used his research, Grace was the one to complete the invention and she ought to take equal credit for it. I don't think he'd ever really understand what she was trying to do there with saying only that she sent them. As you've probably noticed, while I like both of these characters a lot, I don't need them to have a completely tragedy-free story and this is one of those pieces of how I think it would realistically have panned out.

[catscratching]

How does your character take breakfast? I'm talking specifics here: how toasted do they prefer their bread? Do they like their eggs scrambled, boiled, sunny side up? Do they like them hard or runny? Do they pour their milk in before the cereal? Do they like their bacon burnt to a crisp?

This is such a good question!   I generally do not want heavy things on my stomach upon first waking – especially with the little one making everything… complicated.

[Her expression is rueful as she looks down and pats her abdomen.]

So to actually break my fast, I usually do fresh fruit, perhaps some aged cheese and tea.  I rather like chai, but find it too heavy most days; the little one cannot make up his mind whether he likes dairy or not.  So generally I go for a nice black tea with sugar.   How much sugar… depends on the day.  Sometimes I need it syrupy, some days no more than a teaspoon.

I do adore traditional breakfast foods though, and like to eat them for my last meal of the day – with my current schedule, I’m retiring just after the city is starting their day, so it lines up well.

I love breads – there are very few bread products I do not enjoy, but I find toast to be one of those foods that can be very good… or very mediocre.  Good toast is cooked on one side to golden perfection, so the other side is still soft, served with butter and berry jam.  Delicious, and I am particular to sourdoughs and egg breads like brioche.   Although if we’re talking about the pain perdu – the kind dipped in an egg/milk mixture and grilled on both sides?  Ahhh that is wonderful with clotted cream and fresh fruit – stonefruits or berries seem to work best.

Bacon is likewise dependent on who is cooking it and how it was prepared.  Thick cut bacon should be chewy and meaty and just cooked through.  I generally only find this in someone’s home or at more quality eateries.  Taverns and the like generally serve thin-cut, fatty bacon; cook that until all the fat renders – which usually means it’s shatteringly crisp and just on the right side of burned.

I do not often eat cereal, but people that pour the milk in first perplex me.  The cereal is going to float.  You get less in the bowl.  What is the point of this?  Cereal first, milk second.

Eggs are again dependent on where they are prepared.  If at a tavern, fried.  You don’t generally get to choose how done the yolks are, but fried eggs are generally more edible when overcooked than say, scrambled.   I’m not fond of poached eggs (they look too much like eyeballs for my taste), nor do I enjoy soft boiled – although an acquaintance has told me I must dip toast in the runny bits for the full experience.  Scrambled eggs are a delight for the tastebuds when prepared by someone that can cook – Sometimes we scramble them at home with a splash of milk and some vegetables.  Great on those days when it’s too hot to prepare anything more intensive and none of the street vendors are agreeing with me.

… Speaking of street vendors, I am now starving – would you like to join me for a bite?  There’s a place just around the corner that has wonderful, savoury msemen – or if sweet is more to your taste, the sfinge near the Meyhane are absolutely wonderful.

•───────────────────⋅☾ ☽⋅───────────────────•

This was so much fun - I think Seda generally prefers savoury to sweet (aside from fruit) for her meals; she doesn't have a huge sweet tooth in that regard. (French toast being an exception!)

She loves the foods of Radz-at-Han, and has probably made it a goal to try every street vendor and eatery in the city at least once. :D

[Also of note, she doesn't know what gender the child is; we agreed that if being able to determine that is possible, it's highly unlikely that the healers available to Seda and Fakhri would have that ability. She wants a boy, so she uses male pronouns. :) ]

@gatheredfates

[femboyhunting]

Listen. I ran out of room to comment

Left hand, right hand or ambidextrous

Did he eat glue as a child. Would he still do it at his current age if told it was edible(as a joke).

“If all your friends jumped off a bridge would you?” His reply

How good his singing voice

From cinnamon to devils butthole hows his spice tolerance

Shower routine(laying in the water to so many products what)

If he could keep one part/organ of his LI in a jar what would it be

If his LI could keep one part/organ of him what would he like it to be

His reaction to that information

Is he the type to care about his LI’s true feelings or does he go off his own perceived notions of what they might feel about him(they love me i know they do)

From homeless and on welfare to just a side hobby, how much time does he dedicate to stalking his LI

If he could fuck one part of his LI what would it be(making the hole or not)

Left hand!

He totally ate glue as a kid, he had a lot of alone time so he'd get bored and do dumb shit. He chews on random crap present day and would probably eat glue bc he doesn't really give a shit about his health and is super impulsive.

"I don't have any friends lol. Can I still jump off the bridge?"

He's a terrible singer, but he's very good at playing instruments.

Low spice tolerance. He loves sweets though.

Ya boy does not bathe. You have to make him. He's very forgetful and uncaring about taking care of himself. If he does he prefers baths though. And he gets in there and sits for hours even as the water turns cold. He uses men's 5in1, scrubs until his skin is raw, then just sits there.

Oh my God how could he ever chose. An eye, probably. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, after all. And he thinks his darlings eyes are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He wants to always be able to feel their gaze wherever he goes, he wants them to keep their eyes on him.

A hand so they can always hold it. Though he'd definitely joke about it being his dick.

He'd do a lot for his beloved. He says Anything, he'd do anything, but the truth is he's definitely not going to leave them the fuck alone or tone down the creepyness or stop stalking them and breaking into their house or let them go if they've been bad, so it's not really anything is it. It's more that he'd go to insane extremes. If he knew his beloved wanted it he would get high as shit, cut off his own hand, and propose with it, still covered in his own blood and loopy. If his darling is ok with smaller gifts he's just taking out a tooth. He wants them to have a part of him that he can never get back, to prove to them how devoted he is to them. Otherwise he's already giving them a vial of his blood and slicing their name into his skin, like that's just something he does.

He's kind of delusional but he, at first, probably develops a real connection with LI. At first it matters what they think. He genuinely cares about them, he's putting in the work to find out what they like so he can have things in common and doing his best to be someone they like. But the more he falls for them the more he realizes he just Needs them so fucking bad it doesn't even matter if they want him or not. But it does absolutely devastate him when they fight back or don't share his feelings, he gets self destructive. And then he drinks until his head is fuzzy and he remembers that actually it's fate that they be together, all couples fight, he loves them even if they're being a stupid fucking bitch that should be grateful he's treating them so well when he didn't fucking have to.

That depends. He's, at a baseline, pretty intense. He's doing background checks, he's hacking into anything he can, he's installed by cameras and tracking chips, he's taking pictures and covering his walls with them. But the time he devotes to it, the relative intensity, and how frantic he is depends on how close he is to his LI and if they actually like him. He chills out a bit if they're actually in a relationship with him and he trusts them. Otherwise he just gets worse and worse and just spends all his time watching them and making plans and going more and more insane until things reach whatever breaking point they're building to, and he does that instead of literally everything else including eating or sleeping.

He's a simple man, he likes their mouth. He like their noises. Though he does think about how their blood would feel gushing around his dick if he fucked a stab wound. Would he be able to feel their pulse?

[yourfellowhuman07]

Alliances of the Heart

A She-Ra: Princess of Power 2018 fanfiction

For centuries, the All Princess Ball has been a time for the nobility of Etheria to let loose. Flaunting their power, prestige, and fashion for all to see. The ball had always been politically neutral, but, as tension from the war rises, not everyone is so keen to forget what happens beyond the walls of Castle Chill.

Lord Hordak, along with Princess Scorpia and Force Captian Catra, have come to the party to make alliances and find out everything there is to know about their enemies. Careful to not arouse the suspicion of the Princess Alliance.

Princess Entrapta, being the scientist she is, decides to come to the party to decode the secrets of body language, despite getting the same data from every other party she has ever attended.

When the two rulers cross paths, their plans flip on their heads as the two grow closer. Now it is up to Catra and Scorpia to push the two together as Adora and Glimmer stick their noses where they do not belong.

________________

Hi everyone. Sorry about not posting this earlier today, stuff came up. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.

It has also come to my attention that I have been spelling Salineus wrong, so I'll have to take some time to go back and fix that. Also, the map I'm creating should be finished in maybe two days, depending on my mood.

________________

Chapter 4: What Are We?

“Ok,” Adora dropped a pad of paper onto the table. “Here are the notes I made on Lord Hordak and Princess Entrapta’s intera- where is Bow?”

“I don’t know.” Glimmer buried herself further into the armchair. “Probably having fun with his new best friend Perfuma.” Adora rolled her eyes. Recalling how Catra acted whenever Adora spent time with anyone else, and how Catra would whine until Adora spent time with her, neglecting everyone else in the process.

“Whatever. Let’s see, Lord Hordak was seen dancing with Princess Entrapta well after the two should have separated. Lord Hordak has always been known to be a stickler for the rules, so this must be a big enough deal that he would engage in such a ‘flagrant breach of conduct’.”

“Wait didn’t Mermista mention in one of her stupid sea-themed mystery books that the murderer seduced some dutchess to then murder her? Maybe Hordak is trying to charm Princess Entrapta into allying with him and the Horde!”

“Oh please, all Lord Hordak does is yell at people to get away from him. There’s no way he can ‘seduce’ anyone.”

“Well, he must have done something because Princess Entrapta went on the spend the entire rest of the evening with him! The two have probably struck some kind of deal already to unite their forces and crush the rebellion!”

“You’re right. We have to convince Princess Entrapta to join our side.”

“How? Every time we bring up allying our forces she finds some excuse to leave.”

“Then we need to get her in a position where she can’t get away.”

“Can we talk with her tonight?”

“No, I want to make sure of what we are seeing before we do anything. That and we need to figure out the angle in which we need to approach her.”

__________________________________________________

Entrapta entered the ballroom for the second night of festivities. She made a beeline for one of the many snack tables, filling her pockets with enough miniature desserts to last the night.

She raked her eyes over the sugared confections laid before her. The best part about parties such as this is the food. Everything was always miniaturized for efficiency, which is why Entrapta loved tiny food. They had small cupcakes dyed blue with snowflake candies sprinkled on. Miniature cookies frosted with floral shapes coated in edible glitter. Moon pies are colored to look like the 12 moons of Etheria. Stacks of macarons in every color of the rainbow. Every type of chocolate a person could think of covers ripe strawberries. Milk chocolate poured out of a miniature fountain. Tables like these were scattered across the ballroom filling the room with the scent of baked goods and chocolate.

“Hi, Princess Entrapta!” Called out Scorpia who was pushing past the other glittering guests.

“Hi Princess Scorpia, where is Catra?”

“Right here,” Catra said, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Catra placed her hand on Entrapta’s shoulder. “How have you been, we barely got to see you last night after you ran off with our boss.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Another night of data to collect. Heh,'' Entrapta's hair slipped Catra’s hand off of her shoulder.

“Hey, Princess Entrapta, what were you and Lord Hordak doing last night,” Scorpia asked, trying to desperately contain a smile.

“Oh, he just told me about the Fright Zone and what to expect when I get there. We told each other about some of the things we have created in the past. He was very nice to me throughout the whole evening” Catra chuckled. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, it’s just the words ‘nice’ and ‘Hordak’ don’t go together.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you must be really special to have him be so nice to you. He’s usually really grumpy and aloof.” Scorpia explained.

As Entrapta’s cheeks began to flush, she pulled her mask down pondering all the meaning Scorpia’s statement could have.

“Well, we better get going. You do have all that important data to collect. Enjoy your evening Princess Entrapta.” At that, the two women left a flustered Entrapta alone.

As her mind raced to find the meaning behind Scorpia’s words, she remembered her fleeting conversation that afternoon with Morella. Was there another reason she wished to ally with Lord Hordak? Even in one evening, they had formed a connection. They both understood each other in ways others could not. She was unable to describe what they had. Were they friends or just acquaintances that understood each other’s interests? In her 29 years of living, she had never met another person who could keep up with her the way he could. Everyone either couldn’t understand what she was talking about and played dumb while desperately trying to change the subject, or they did understand her but didn’t care about her ideas. Hordak has been one of the few people who understood her ideas and saw their potential of them. 

Entrapta was brought out of her trance when someone bumped into her. It was Princess Spinerella and Princess Netossa of the Unnamed Kingdom.

“Oh, I’m sorry Princess Entrapta.” Spinerella apologized, putting her hand over her heart.

“It’s ok. I shouldn’t have been standing there for so long. Have you two decided on a name for your new kingdom yet?” Before the marriage of Spinerella and Netossa, their kingdoms were completely separate. Then when they did get married and united the two kingdoms, they had no clue what to name their newfound kingdom; hence, why it has been called the ‘Unnamed’ or ‘Unknown’ Kingdom.

“Not yet, turns out naming a kingdom is harder than it looks,” Netossa admitted. “Speaking of kingdoms, have you decided to join the Princess Alliance yet?”

“I’ve decided to join the Horde.” Entrapta smiled despite the dread that crept up her spine.

“Say what now?”

“Um Princess Entrapta, are you sure about that decision?”

“Yes actually. The Drylian ideals and politics better line up with those of the Scorponi kingdom; furthermore, their economy is better and the wealth is more evenly distributed across the kingdom.” Entrapta prepared herself for the onslaught of criticism.

“I-I um… Very well Princess Entrapta. We are glad your mind has been made up.” Spinerella shot Entrapta a fake smile and lead her wife away into the crowd.

That was weird. Entrapta pulled out her recorder, clicking it on.

“Princess Prom night two, log one: after informing the Princesses Spinerella and Netossa of my newfound political alliances they did not react outright negatively, even though they opposed me joining the Horde. Instead, they expressed their relief at my decision-making. They then made a hasty getaway, a trademark occurrence when I speak about tech to other people. I theorize they were not looking for a conflict or a debate with me so they escaped the conversation as fast as they could. Further analysis will have to be made through gaging the reactions of others when the topic of my allegiances is brought up.”

_________________________

Hordak stood off to the side, sipping a glass of wine and listening in on the conversations around him. Thus far, he has gathered Prince Peekablue is a no-show. He saw who he believes is his girlfriend, Princess Sweet Bee, wailing that he, once again, did not come as promised. Which was unfortunate because Hordak was hoping he would be in attendance so he could get him on his side. His powers of foresight could greatly help with the war by predicting what campaigns bore fruit and what campaigns resulted in disaster. Perhaps he could find him another day despite his status as a hermit. He also gathered the Head Sorcerous Castaspella was also not in attendance which he found odd since, according to his sources, she was there at the previous Princess Prom. Perhaps something is happening in Mystacor he was unaware of.

Then something caught his ear. It was the Princesses Netossa and Spinerella of the Unnamed Kingdom whispering something to the Star Sisters. He walked closer to them, trying to look inconspicuous. Staining his hearing to gauge what they were talking about.

“Princess Entrapta has allied herself with the Horde,” Netossa whispered. The three sisters gasped quietly.

“Why would she do that?” Asked the blonde sister.

“Something about their political ideals lining up and having a better economy.”

“Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but I did see Princess Entrapta and Lord Hordak sitting close to each other up in the rafter the other night.” whispered the thinnest sister.

“Perhaps they are having an affair?” The pink-haired sister suggested.

“Perhaps it is none of your business.” Hordak’s crimson eyes pierced through the souls of the five women. Terror froze their faces. They gave small apologies before scampering away.

How dare they speak about Princess Entrapta that was. Fury courses through his veins, boiling his blood. It took him every ounce of willpower in him not to scalp the five women, mounting it on his wall as a warning. He balled up his fists, unaware of the wine glass he broke in his hands until a poor servant came to clean it up.

A wave of embarrassment flooded him, washing out all the rage he felt. Hordak apologized profusely, getting down on his knees to help clean up. This astounded the servant who, while earning the occasional apology, never got help from a royal. After cleaning the area Hordak put a gold coin, twice his daily wage, in the servant’s hands. The servant gave him a swift bow before returning to his post.

Hordak took a deep breath, still modified at his public outburst. He moved to a wall where there were few people. He bit the inside of his cheek as he wallowed in his embarrassment. Why must I act like this? Why did I act like that? Why was I so offended on behalf of someone I barely know? If it was anyone else, say one of his commanders, he would be miffed they were speaking ill of one of his associates; however, he would never react in the way he had just done. An associate is what Entrapta was, so why did simple petty words get such a rise out of him? Perhaps, subconsciously, he saw her as more than a work associate. Perhaps, he saw Entrapta as a friend? Utterly ridiculous! They had just met yesterday how could he have such a bond with her? Even though the two had similar interests, were able to keep up with each other verbally, and understood each other's goals and ideas does not mean they were friends. Were they? Gah! Curse his minuscule emotional range! No matter. He will continue as he did before. He did not want to jump to conclusions without Entrapta’s input.

Speaking of, where had the princess gone? Hordak served the crowd of sparkles, spotting the princess conversating with Scorpia. He was tempted to join the two, but he knew he shouldn’t. Entrapta had a scientific excursion to pursue, and he does not need to be a distraction. Besides, he has his work to do.

_______________

Also, if you want to know who the Star Sisters are, look it up on the Wiki. Aka, the MVP of this fic.

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump No. 10

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community. I’m Malice and I’ll be your host. 

Today we have @suspicious-pools-of-blood joining us to share his whump story!

Tell us a fact or two about yourself!

I'm a butch (he/him) and I enjoy rock climbing, leatherworking, and losing my entire goddamn mind over Xena: Warrior Princess. 

What does whump mean to you? 

To me it can range anywhere from a trope to a vibe involving some kind of hurt. I definitely consider angst to be whump.

How did you find the whump community? 

It was actually very straightforward; I was up one night and the word "whump" kept rattling around my brain, I'd probably seen it tagging a fanfic at some point, but I didn't know what it meant, so I looked it up and found a definition followed by the Tumblr community. Specifically, it was albino-whumpee's writing that came up, so I was introduced to whump and box boys and WRU all at once. I stayed up all night reading their stuff and then made a sideblog and dove in, dragging my OCs down with me. 

Do you think your views on whump has changed? Maybe the way you consume whump media?

This community was basically my first foray into reading original fiction online instead of just fanfic, and now that's definitely what I read most.

Favourite whump trope?

One of my favorite tropes is carewhumpers--not of the bad caretaker variety, but more whumpers who don't let whumpee have any caretaker but whumper themself. Relatedly, I like captor bonding (not sure if that's an actual term, but that's what I call it because the term Stockholm syndrome has a super gross history), as well as intimate whumpers, nsfwhump/noncon/dubcon, slavery, power imbalances, etc. Also a big fan of a whumpee who internalizes their hurt hard enough to become a whumper against a new whumpee, continuing the cycle of violence and abuse rather than the typical whumped-turned-whumper trope where the two characters just switch roles. I really like the mental/emotional side of whump, seeing how both whumper and whumpee feel about what's happening, why whumper does what they do, and how the whump changes both of them as people.

And your favourite piece you've written? 

Really hard to pick, but currently I'll have to go with Not You Too and its companion piece Wish . It's more angst than any physical whump, but it's an important piece for developing and understanding the psyche of my main character.

What's your writing style like? 

Oh man, calling myself out here on this one. Don't be like me, kids. Often times I find that not being sober helps me get over mental blocks that prevent me from getting the words onto the page. It depends on what I'm writing, but usually a couple bourbon old fashioneds or an edible get me into the mood to write, night time, lights off, candle lit on my desk, relevant OC or WIP playlist playing. I'm trying to get better about that though because needing to be intoxicated to write is not good. I try to write regularly but usually I just end up sitting in front of my Notion board for hours on end while procrastinating on work I should be doing.

Is there anything you struggle with writing?

Cisheterosexuality is fuckin impossible for me to write.  I have no experience with it so I'm profoundly confused when I have to write about it for plot reasons

Is there anything you're working on at the moment?

The current piece I'm working on is my main character's first time sleeping with another woman. I am, if nothing else, committed to realism in writing, so I did spend more time than I wanted to today remembering my own first time and cringing but hey, at least I got the vibe!

Do you have any writing advice?

Make some lil guys and rotate them in your mind; literally no one can stop you

Shout out time!

@winedark-whumpk-whump has some truly fantastic stories and was really encouraging when I was struggling with engagement and feeling self-conscious about my original content.

Anything you'd like to add? 

Thank you so much for this interview, this was lots of fun!

Thank you for joining us, @suspicious-pools-of-bloodod ! It was great to have you here!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[little-engineer-who-cant]

3 and 5 for alla stone shield!

Thank you so much for the ask and I am sorry for the delay, life got a little busy! This does get long and has mild spoilers for the ongoing Damnation Saga, so I've put part of it under a cut.

3.What are their religious affiliations, and how does their worship (or lack thereof) affect their day-to-day life?

Alla didn't to think much on religion at the beginning of her story. Growing up in Windhelm, she worshiped the Nine but modeled herself after her parents in their more casual devotion. Tossing a quick aside up to Talos, offering prayers at the temple when needed for holidays and harvests, but her personal religious beliefs did not play a central role in her upbringing. To her, the Nine are real and very important forces, but they don't do much for her daily life.

However, she was VERY aware of how religion affected other people and politics. Her close proximity to Ulfric's ideology (fueled by religion) lent her a unique view into the systemic use of religious beliefs to further the ambitions of a political entity. Windhelm is a place where everyone is listening to everyone else for a lick of dissent, a climate that grew more extreme the longer Ulfric's war dragged on. While she herself is not very religious, she is conscientious of all the ways one can speak that displays their religious, as thus likely political, affiliations.

All this changes after she awakens her Dragonborn soul. She now has a new place in the cosmos, amongst and in opposition to the aedra and daedra. To others, depending on how the Dragonborn legend is viewed by their culture, she is a god made flesh. She's now directly in divine crosshairs and this leads to an ongoing religious crisis that is steadily building throughout Acts 1 and 2 of look into the eyes of damnation and bare your teeth right now and will continue as her destiny unfolds. Prayer becomes more important throughout her journey, especially as the influence of the likes of Akatosh, Hermeaus Mora and Molag Bal (and others but that's big spoilers) become more overt.

5. Would they be able to live off the land if they were lost in the wilds of Skyrim? How skilled are they at foraging and hunting?

She is kind of able to survive the wilderness on her own. She's decent enough at foraging with a very workable knowledge of basic alchemy ingredients and edible roots/berries that one can find on the trails of Skyrim, but she's really shit at hunting and trapping. She'll get lucky every now and again, but that's not sustainable. Unless she found a way to build a shelter and have a makeshift homestead, surviving on her own long term is out of the question. This is why Kaidan is so valuable to her and Lucien early in the story, before they get to know him. He has wilderness survival skills in spades. Once they can no longer safely use roads, he becomes even more important. Though he does try to teach Alla how to hunt, it does not go very well. She's just not patient enough to find prey when a perfectly good berry bush is right there you know? (Best not to say anything about his single attempt with Lucien.)

Once prey is caught though, she's in her zone. As a farmer, she's had to butcher livestock and prepare them either for selling the meat or for prolonged storage and personal meals. Pelts and leather are also right in her wheelhouse so if she manages to snag something sizable, she's set for a bit.

[maplesyrizzup]

hi, april... can i know all of them????? jfjfjgjfhf

Height: 5’1

Age: 20

Shoe size: 6.5

Do you smoke: nope

Do you drink: yes

Do you take drugs: not yet. I would love to try some edibles but it's not legal in my state

Age you get mistake for: usually 1-3 year's younger than my certain age, depends

Have tattoos: nope. Afraid of needles. I pass out

Want any tattoos: maybe

Got any piercings: no

Want any: nope

Best friend: they are sisters and I will always be grateful for them.

Relationship status: single and pining over fictional characters

Biggest turn ons:

Biggest turn offs:

Favorite movie: the kingsman movies. Love them. Also grown ups

I'll love you if: you treat me with respect and love me unconditionally

Some you miss: no one currently

Most traumatic experience: also drowning

A fact about your personality: I like to get other people's opinions before deciding. I like to get both sides of the story. I need all the information before I do anything

What I hate most about myself: my face and how I speak before thinking

What I love most about myself: my humor

What I want to be when I get older: author was a big dream of mine but I've given up

Combining next two, relationship with parents and siblings: not good

My idea of a perfect date: LASER TAG. PUSH ME IN THE CORNER AND KISS ME. BUT I SWEAR IF YOU DONT SHOOT ME AFTER I WILL SHOOT YOU. Also I think picnics are cute

My biggest pet peeves: leaving the toilet seat up. Not pushing in your chair. Not cleaning up after yourself

A description of the girl/boy I like: a girl, she's funny and smart, like really fucking smart. Tall. Black curly hair. Weird in a good way. A boy, I haven't liked a boy since high school but they were all wrestlers, brown hair, & glasses.

Description of the person I dislike most: I'll leave this one blank

A reason I've lied to a friend: to not hurt their feelings

What I hate most about work/school: work is fine, it's calm, most of the time. A couple assholes here and there but it's a library, the people I deal with want to be there.

What my last text message says: I wish you the best of the luck

What I find attractive in women: intelligence and kindness

find attractive in men: glasses(?) I've never gotten close with a guy I've had a crush on so idk. Being a nerd maybe

Where I would like to live: where I am now, in my home town

One of my insecurities: my dark body hair

My childhood career choice: veterinarian

Favorite flavor of ice cream: cookie dough! Though, Häagen-Dazs Caramel cone is to die for

The last thing I ate: hamburger helper tomato basil penne

Sexiest person that comes to mind immediately: cody christian

A random fact about anything: the average person has about 5 liters of blood in them. Losing 2 liters of it, there's a good chance you’ll die. Losing 1 1/2, good chance you’ll be okay. Losing 1, eh you’ll live. Losing 1/2, you will mostly definitely be okay. I also know what that person will feel like when losing that much blood, I have it written down somewhere. Good for writing

[fierceawakening]

Yeah, Tumblr gets very hung up on bad.

Where I personally, like. A big part of my work in therapy is my therapist going “you can say not just that that isn’t right for you but that you straight up think it’s bad! You’re allowed not to qualify your opinions by thinking of every exception! It’s okay! You’re allowed to think some things just suck!”

Then I go on here again, and ring around the Rosie about what bad means. It means my ass don’t like it. Go from there.

So I think for me there’s two questions:

Are PEOPLE who eat junk food bad?

No. That’s everybody.

Is junk food bad?

Well… yeah? Probably?

It’s made by companies under capitalism, and it’s designed principally as a way of transmitting flavors and textures rather than nutrients (though it does, as someone is sure to shout in a reply if I fail to mention this, have some.)

It’s to the benefit of the people making it, who want money, to encourage you to consume a lot of it, because the more of it you buy and the more often you do so the more you line their pockets.

THEY may well not even be fat! THEY may be skinny men in suits who think of you as a stupid pig with all the fatphobia you hate, but they make bank off you, and that’s all they need you for.

This is in contrast to… like… a piece of broccoli. Which is just… kind of… There?

I mean, it’s also grown by agribusiness, so there’s not the same kind of shady shit but surely there’s some. Mostly it’s just being a living dude and growing and getting harvested though.

Farmers will like it if you eat more, but there’s no chemical analysis going on to make sure you take another bite, not in the same way.

Similarly:

Are cutters bad?

No. They’re in pain.

Is cutting bad?

Yeah, probably. Lots of people who do it feel ashamed and not helped by it, and this is especially rough if you end up with visible scars.

Is it possible for someone to do either or both of these things in ways that acknowledge and accept risk? Would that make those instances clearly not bad?

Yes and probably.

Is it highly likely everyone does?

No, or at least, society isn’t very good at treating the decision as autonomous and giving everybody judgment free information. When society is bad at those sorts of things, people tend to be similarly bad at doing things with heavy potential downsides in informed and fully considered ways.

And you might find said judgment free information in a support group for cutters (though you can also find copycatting and feeding each other’s bad shit ummmm less productive?habits, depending) but it at least seems to me you’re not likely to find said judgment free information about junk food in a community of people who celebrate eating it.

At least here on tumblr, what you find seems to be “all foods are here to nourish you, even the ones that are only a step up from cardboard with spices on it because they have to technically be edible, and pleasure is good. Eat, my lovelies, EEEEEAT!”

Which just… again, since if I’m at risk of anything it would be binging without purging, I look at those posts and just bewilderedly wonder why they don’t at least specify their target audience.

That could well be harm reduction for some people (and I’m probably pissing off the ones for whom it is), but it’s actually not for others.

Especially especially when “indulgence is good” is ITSELF an advertising slogan, used to sell particularly rich junk food as ~naughty sinful~.

Like, when I watch Virgie Tovar I don’t get the feeling I’m not hearing that food is a moral issue. I get the feeling the moral judgments are all still there but just flipped.

I’m not hearing “cake is morally neutral” at ALL. I’m hearing “if you don’t want a big piece of cake you’re a no fun Puritan and probably even a handmaiden of the patriarchy.”