#but i think basically if there's anything unnatural to her heart

[allthatwas-moved]

WHAT'S IN A NAME?‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎THAT WHICH WE CALL A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL AS SWEET...‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(REGENERATION AU).

she got the life she wanted,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎in theory.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎settled down with the non-doctor‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(john tyler,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎he took her last name),‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎worked at torchwood,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎everything was alright.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they grew old,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they were happy,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they were what she needed.

john died‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎it felt like her life shattered,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the kind of pain that the doctor talked about when she was younger,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the pain of loss that she couldn't even imagine back in the prime universe.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎when she lost john,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she felt for the doctor immediately because the one comfort she had was that she too would go with him.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎|‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎it didn't feel as she thought it would.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she had expected things to go cold,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎slowly fickle out,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but as she was laying in her house,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎waiting for her time to come,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she felt warm,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎hot,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎pain.

it happened quicker than she could've imagined,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ a quick yelp‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she closed her eyes only to awake with her room on fire,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎her heart racing,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎her chest aching,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎everything feeling wrong.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎that's the thing about aging,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎every change is minuscule‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎small so you slowly grow used to it...‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎this change was quick,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎brutal,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎left rose with an energy she hadn't felt in years.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎quick to get up,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎quick to grab some things‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(john's jacket she left on their desk chair,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎a photo of them from when they were younger,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎a picture of her mum‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎dad).‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎on the way out,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she froze momentarily,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎catching herself in the mirror that sat right by their front door as a way to ensure they looked alright before going to work‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(something john forgot without any reminders).

she didn't look like herself.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she looked nineteen,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but not like the nineteen year old she once was.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she was different,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she regenerated.

tldr:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the time vortex altered rose's genes in which she can age,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but regenerates,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎as if the time vortex is snapping the telomeres back into the place they recall,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but messing up the genetic sequencing as it goes.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she can keep getting old,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎in one body,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but the moment that body gives out,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎it returns her back to 19 again.

[yelspyder]

Hey! I was wondering if you could maybe do a Gwen x female (or gender neutral) reader’s first kiss? They’re not officially dating but they both have rather clear feelings for each other. Gwen maybe saves reader from a petty street crime and they share the iconic Spiderman kiss. The reader doesn’t blatantly know that Gwen is Spiderwoman, but they have a gut feeling, as Gwen also has a gut feeling they may already know.

˚‧⁺.-"Kiss me again - he says, drunk and foolish - Kiss me until I am sick of it"

↳ summary: basically, spiderman iconic kiss with Gwen

↳ characters: Gwen Stacy

↳ Gn! Reader

↳ notes: I would with fem reader, but nothing in that work would make that fact explicit, so I titled it gn (which can also be seen as fem), hope you don't mind.

Gwen's heart fluttered when she saw you being mugged. No way was she going to let you get hurt. You were too important to her.

You were paralyzed. Being mugged in a desert street in the big city was not something you used to do, of course you would be scared. The gun was pointed at your face while the thug stared at you with a scary look while another man, presumably his henchman, looked you up and down with a smirk you thought could swallow you whole. And a third man watching the surroundings, ready to warn the others at any sign of the police. The man who had the gun pointed at you looked like some kind of bodyguard for some rich rapper who performs in bars every Friday: gold teeth, tattoos, piercings and such.

Gwen was having a snack until she saw you being mugged in a nearby deserted street. She didn't let herself think long before quickly stepping in and jumping next to the bandits. When she realized that she didn't even bother to put the mask on before jumping in front of you, it was too late to go back and get it, she would have to do it quickly so that no one saw her face.

She was grateful for the darkness of the street when got into a quick melee and threw the thugs away in a dumpster in front of a building, knocking them unconscious. Before you could even process it properly and go after her to thank her, she'd ducked into a nearby alley as quickly as she'd appeared to save you.

You wasted no time in following her, but were disappointed when you couldn't find her. A little frustrated, you turned to resume your walk home, to find the spiderwoman hanging upside down in front of you.

She cleared her throat before speaking in an unnaturally deep voice. "Are you all right, dear citizen?"

You jumped a little in surprise when you saw her before speaking. You really didn't expect her to come back to check on you after saving you. After recovering from the surprise, you started talking. "Uh...-? Of course, I'm fine thanks to you. We've been seeing each other a lot these past few days, you made a point of helping me just across the street this weekend. Do I have a superhero stalker?"

Unknown to you, Gwen smiled beneath her mask and replied in a confident tone. "I was in the neighborhood."

You smiled and took a moment to sigh and admire the figure hanging in front of you. "You're amazing."

"Some people don't think so." She just shook her head and spoke, again using her unnatural low voice.

You didn't say anything, just held your hands out until they hovered over the top of the mask around her neck. "...What?" She asked with a tone of doubt, but without making the slightest effort to stop you.

You withdrew your hands a little, until it took you a while to resume your action. You slowly extended your hands until they hovered over the top of her mask around her neck again upon seeing the, as yet unknown to you, blonde's non-existent attempts to stop you. Still slowly, you pulled your mask up to her nose, to see a strangely familiar gap between the teeth in the superheroine's half opened mouth, and rested your hands on her cheeks.

Without much delay, you kissed her.

She felt herself magically melting into your kiss. Her heart was beating too fast, and her cheeks were burning. At this point, she was thanking whatever god there was that part of her cheeks was still covered, so you wouldn't see the blushing mess you made of her. If the kiss wasn't enough, she was now all too aware of your soft hands resting on her cheeks. She found herself having to resist the urge to relax against your touch right there. She felt in heaven, kissing her crush did wonders for her. The looks exchanged, and the laughter shared during the common lessons at school seemed a distant delusion in her mind now. All that mattered was that she was kissing her crush at this very moment.

The poor girl wanted this moment to last forever, but the need to breathe soon came and you had to part ways. As soon as you pulled away, she saw your breathless appearance and flushed cheeks, and smiled when you adjusted her mask correctly.

"So, my favorite citizen, wants me to walk you home?"

[frownyalfred]

Okay but the angst of Bruce dying from soul bond not being full filled is delicious. Of course Clarke would Never allow Bruce to die, even if it cost him Lois over this, but if after Lois learns about the cheating and Clarkes chooses Lois, I don't think Bruce would tell Clarke.

I think Bruce would kind of assume it's his fault, and if he can't push through this, which in his mind is his own fault, well, he deserves it. Especially since his kids are mad at him, Dick and Jason are not talking to him. So as the effects grow worse, Bruce never says anything, dealing with it on his. At least, until his heart stops, and Clark suddenly feels Bruce's death like his hear withering and dying. He screams and collapses, in more pain he's ever been in. Maybe if he had been listening to Bruce's heart like he had done for years, had heard it stutter, he could have been fast enough to save Bruce. But he had choosen Lois, completely and totally, even knowing there would be consequences to separating from Bruce.

Alfred (and Dick) knew Bruce was going through it, and Alfred even knew about the soul bond aspect (no one else did) and that his health was failing because of it, but thought he would recover. The idea of Bruce dying from what was basically a broken heart was inconceivable to him. But his son body, despite feeling warm to the touch, is unnaturally still beneath his hands, having taken over CPR on Bruce so Dick could have a break, the ambulance 15 minutes out at best.

How could Clark live with himself after? How does Lois feel, realizing that the soulbond stuff was really really real, that her once friend is dead. And Clark, despite knowing this could happen (but didn't really, it was Bruce. Bruce was always the exception, always the outlier, and all the information they had said it only happened in about half the cases and Bruce couldn't- Bruce Can't be...) never believed, never thought this could happen.

How the guilt must kill every day. And imagine the league and family finding out. Dick, Jason and Alfred would never forgive Clark and Lois. Despite originally being on Lois' side. And Lois, I mean, would she stay or leave in that situation? She has to stay or Bruce died for nothing but she can't stay since Clark will never forgive her for her or himself for Bruce's death (even thought it's not her fault), nor will any one in the caped community see her or Clark the same.

So much angst and whump ♡♡♡

(Ps, as an apology for all this angst you totally write SuperBatLane fluffy smut) (This is a joke) (the apology bit, not the superbatlane stuff. You should definitely write some superbatlane)

Oh wow, that ask is a gut lunch. How about, if I finish the cheating superbat fic, I promise to write some superlanebat smut and call it all even? Everyone’s happy then?

[riansdiary]

My Newest Success Stories 💖

Dearest Gentle Readers 💎

Hello! I am back with more of my newest success stories!

First of all, I wanted to let you know that my manifesting style has completely changed. Let's see the difference shall we? Now, I've had a massive change in the way I do it thanks to a little bit of a tower moment in my life. What do I mean by tower moment? I'm learning tarot and this is what it means.

A “tower moment” is a moment of sudden, unexpected change and upheaval. The term comes from the Tower card in the tarot deck. Tower moments can feel incredibly chaotic, but the destruction also paves the way for positive growth and transformation.

I had this one desire that I was completely putting on a pedestal and obsessing with. I forced myself to affirm and try to feel something. Every time I would say affirmations, I would immediately search for it in the 3d. This was something I've been wanting for so long. I was putting so much energy into pretending that I had this thing that it felt unnatural and forced? I would get upset when I checked for it in the 3d and did not see what I wanted to see. I was heavily reliant on the 3d. I know I should not pay attention but I couldn't stop myself because this was one of my biggest desires ever. There was too much feeling or desire and desperation. I ended up acting as if and trying to force feelings of relief but as usual, the 3d made me upset. I was faking sh*t to get it. You know you can't change your clothes by aggressively shaking the mirror right? You have to change the clothes yourself and change self before you see it in the 3d.

I cried a lot during this week but I finally decided to drop what I'm doing and just play some games to calm myself down. I then thought of what loa bloggers always say. The basics of manifestation is that you want it? You have it. They always say that you have it now. I stopped forcing things and I thought if I have it now then I have nothing to lose. I continued to just calmly and confidently silently know that I have all my desires now regardless of everything because I'm a powerful manifestor. Anything that says otherwise is a jealous hater. I didn't force myself to affirm, I thought that I have it now anyway. I had nothing to lose if I believed and accepted that I have it and it's done. I now just calmly decree or tell myself that I have it now. I had this silent but confident inner knowing that I have it now. I just focused on having it in my mind and reminding myself of that fact that I have it now. I didn't care about the 3d because I have it anyway. It could show the opposite but I was sure that I have it now. Why? Because I have it in my mind now. I'm happy either way. I'm good. I have everything I desire now and I won't lose anything by accepting I have it now. I don't need to fake things because I know in my heart and mind and soul that I have all my desires now regardless of everything.

Before: Finding results in the 3d, feeling desperate to affirm and forcing myself to feel things when you're not supposed to do that. I kept affirming to get and get angry when I don't see results immediately.

Now: Knows she has her desires regardless of everything and she just needs to accept them in a calm manner. Who cares what the 3d shows? I'm good, I have it in my mind. It's not the end all be all. I don't care. Just calmly reminding herself any moment she thinks of her desires that she has it already, nothing more to do than accept that. She tells her subconscious mind what she wants and fully trusts it. No need to force things. Just be. You already have your desires now, there's nothing else left to do.

I also found myself going back to @babygothprincess and Taylor Tookes' Deciding methods! They're right that manifestation is not a process. You just decide you have it now and that's it. I manifested things faster when I did it this way. I guess you could say I was in a little bit of a manifestation slump because of the confusion I experienced between people who teach that it's a process + affirming a lot and people who teach that it's instant and deciding is all you need to do.

Let's start!

1. Manifested using an air cooler instead of the fan in the living room

This happened quite recently. I was not satisfied with the electric fan just going back and forth around the room. It was extremely uncomfortable for me and I'm sweating a lot more than usual which I don't like. I wanna be chill and comfortable not dripping with sweat. All I did to manifest this was say this two times -> "We're gonna use the air cooler instead... It's done."

I said it like a boss or a queen who is giving orders to her reality and subconscious mind. I said it calmly and decreed it like that in my head just twice during the day when I thought of it. I was just sure it's done and it's gonna happen. I learned a lot during that day. I was forcing myself to affirm and it didn't feel natural and like I'm forcing things to happen in the 3d. What did I do? I cried all my frustrations out and thought "Well if all they're saying is that I have it already then why do I need to worry? I don't need to force myself to do sh*t when I can just calmly accept my desires as mine and let the doubts and resistance pass by. Instead of fighting them and flipping them, why not just let them float by and reject them? I'm not gonna lose anything if I just calmly accept that I have my desires. I don't need to force any feelings at all. I have it anyway so I don't have anything to worry about. Anything that says the opposite of my desire is a hater. You're just jealous of me because I'm a powerful manifestor (been saying this to myself when I have time) and I have all my desires. I'm confident that I will have more success stories to tell you!

That's what I did and I just played games knowing I have it already I have nothing to lose as long as I silently assume and accept that I have all my desires now. So what happened was, when I was scrolling on TikTok, my sister came out of her room and took the standing electric fan because her fan seemed to have stopped working and now guess what??? Yes. We're using the perfect wonderful beautiful calming cooling air cooler now!!!

2. I manifested butter cookies! 🍪

Okay so for this success story, there were two moments when I was watching something and I craved cookies. I said it didn't matter what it was whether it was sugar cookies or butter cookies. That was when I was watching an anime! It's an isekai anime and it's called "Sweet Reincarnation"! I recommend it! I thought of it after that and that was when I was watching one of my fave YouTube channels which is People vs food. It was the new Try not to eat Gossip Girl edition. The prize food looked like chocolate chip cookies and I just thought "I would really love some cookies"

Then tonight my siblings and my dad went out to buy groceries and guess what my brother got for me all of a sudden... Yup! It was a tin of butter cookies and he got them for me for no reason! I didn't tell them anything! He knows I love cookies but he hasn't done that before!

3. I manifested getting my favorite butter coconut cookies.

This is just from today and I manifested both things I've been craving recently and all I did was tell myself and my subconscious that I wanted it. I just knew I was gonna get them after commanding my subconscious mind. I also imagined it in my head for a few seconds.

These cookies have different packages. They have a long individually wrapped one and a normal packet of them. I imagined the normal sized ones and that's exactly what I got tonight! Exactly what I said I was gonna get. They know I like them but I wasn't able to eat them recently so that's why I manifested that.

4. I manifested getting my online money topped up 💰

I wanted my money topped up after I spoiled myself with the money I got from the cryptocurrency app so I just casually said "yeah it's gonna get topped up, no worries"

Low and behold, the next week, Mom told me that my aunt decided to send me birthday money. The thing is, it's already August and my birthday is back in July. It was a super late birthday gift! Mom transferred the money to my account and voila!

5. Manifested having Roblox on my other phone even though it did not have enough space for it before

This happened today on Sep 26. I'm just listing any success stories I have and post it.

The story about this is that I wanted to install Roblox on my phone and it didn't let me. It said that it had no more space for it. I installed my fave voice recorder for recording my singing practice a week after that then I wanted to play games on my other phone while my main one charges. I just went to the play store, clicked on Roblox and confidently assumed that I'm gonna have it installed. I affirmed like it already happened, not to get it. I didn't even look at it, I just trusted that I'm getting what I want and I'm not taking no for an answer.

I didn't do anything else to my phone. I didn't delete space to get it, nothing. I just assumed it would install and it did even though I tried before I had the recording app and it didn't work.

6. I manifested my other phone being fixed overnight

I was playing games on my other phone when it suddenly powered off out of nowhere. It was just stuck on the power on reboot screen and I was panicking at first. I was affirming to get first and getting annoyed when it didn't happen so I tried to calm myself down and breathe. I just affirmed in a calming soothing way to myself that it is fixed now. It's okay it's now fixed. I accepted that as a fact and left the phone alone. I lied down and slept after that.

Then when I woke up, I looked at it knowing it was fixed and it was! It's okay and working fine again like nothing happened last night!

7. Our water coming completely back

In the morning, I came into the bathroom and our water was very little and not like it usually is. Water was not running like normal, meaning it was not strong and giving a lot of water. It was just a tiny amount of water coming through so I decided that it's back and affirmed "the water's back! it's running the usual amount again."

I affirmed a few times in my mind and decided it was back. By the time I came back to pee, it was a few minutes after, it was really back.

8. I manifested &subs (&Team Gakuen's translators) to come back after being shut down

I was a huge fan of &Team's show in Japan called "&Team Gakuen" and suddenly the team decided to drop the project and their files were gone. I was so scared at first because I didn't know where I was gonna watch it now. The technique I used was again deciding and affirming that they're back and I can watch &Team Gakuen again. No matter what I saw, I just affirmed "They're back. I'm so glad that they're back. I can watch &Team Gakuen again."

Frankly, I can't remember the exact words but it's just me thinking as if the subbing team and the files are back. I affirmed whenever I thought of it but I knew I was powerful and if I want something, I'll get it.

Fast Forward to a few weeks from that time, I was looking for a way to watch it again and low and behold, &Subs's Twitter was posting new stuff again and their new site is even better than before! Honestly, I forgot about this manifestation until I remembered it as I watched it from their new site!

9. I manifested Apple AirPods 3rd Generation out of nowhere!

The technique I used for this was just following my happiness or doing what makes me happy which is taught by Rita Kaminski. I watched a video on TikTok that she did on that. Well, not really a technique. It's more about if you're making yourself happy, you're telling your subconscious mind that you have that thing now or everything you want and that you're relaxed because you have it now. We want our desires in order to be happy right? Well, if you're making yourself happy by doing things that make you happy (whatever is available to you) then you're tricking your subconscious that you have it now.

Okay so I followed what she said in the video and asked myself, what would feel the best for me to do right now? I was lead by my intuition to watch a Barbie movie. I haven't watched them in a while and it's my favorite childhood movies so I was sure that it's gonna make me feel good!

My parents and I were cleaning up some things and organizing. We were dusting off things and Mom was looking through Dad's stuff and that was when she suddenly asked if I wanted Dad's unused AirPods! Didn't know it was AirPods at this point. I thought it was a cheap brand one. She didn't even wait for my answer and gave it to me immediately because she said that Dad isn't even using it and it's just hidden away in a box so she decided to give it to me.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

Hi! Editor Rian here! 😁

Okay I have an important update on these AirPods! I have been using them ever since I got them and I didn't know what type of AirPods or earphones it was until I decided to use my camera and take a picture of it so I can find the exact name of it. Don't judge me guys haha I've always been an Android user so I didn't know and I was shocked to my core when I found out that they're not just any cheap earphones out there! No, it's an Apple AirPods the 3rd generation!

Anyway this was my screenshot of me searching for the exact name using Google Lens on my camera! My jaw dropped when I saw that it was Apple AirPods!

That is all! This is Rian from the future reporting 🫡

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

~Back to past Rian writing!

I'm using them right now and ooh they're so nice and comfy on the ears! We'll see about the sound quality!

I'm back after testing it on Tiktok and I was watching Ariana Grande's monologue in SNL! Oh my God, the sound quality is so high and so different from my Bluetooth earphones! What? It sounds amazing! Can't wait to try this with my favorite songs, subliminal or ASMR! Ahhh! 😆

The sound is high quality and I'm on 50% and it's a little too loud even? The soround sound effect is so damn good! I recommend this technique! I remember actually complaining a little (inwardly and not to anyone, more so to myself) about the Bluetooth earphones I have. They're good but when I was watching the movie Barbie of Swan Lake, I had to volume up almost fully to 90% or more just to hear it better. This is so amazing and I'll keep on testing this technique! 😍

10. I was craving cheesedog (it's basically hotdogs with bits of cheese in it) and manifested it (this is Rian from the future, yup I just ate that for dinner!)

I was craving eating cheesedog with rice of course and I manifested that just by affirming a few times and seeing it in my imagination via visualization. I just imagined it in my head, just me seeing the cheesedog on my plate and it oozing with bits of cheese in it! That's all I did, I didn't even do it for long. It was just a few seconds and today as I'm editing this right now. I just ate it for dinner and I'm so happy! Been missing it because we haven't eaten that in awhile! It was so good! The cheese just melts in your mouth! I have proof as per usual.

[yuseirra]

I honestly think there's a reason for having written Kamiki's character this way, I can sense it, if this isn't all. I ACTUALLY have a good idea how it's going to be and why it's like this. I jotted something down again...I keep talking about it because I feel like I can catch a glimpse of what they're going for in terms of what they want to do with this character. If you like him or the hikaai ship, it might give you hope~☺

I wrote this as a memo after having drawn that most recent comic with him and Ai, it may add to the context- my comics are based on my intepretations and analysis I have of them. It reflects those.

Yranslated in bulk through the trusty chatgpt 4.0..^^.. I do read it over before posting it but if there's anything awkward...it wasn't originally written in English so please be easy on me..!

This character(Kamiki) seems to have a very lonely personality. Ai has a slightly avoidant temperament, so she endures things alone, handling everything herself without relying on others. But this character genuinely loves being around people. Because of that, he finds it difficult to let go of people, easily trusts others, and, even though he gets hurt, still has a desire to build connections. In some ways, this desire is even stronger than Ai's; Ai is content if she can express herself and form a meaningful relationship with one or two people she truly cherishes. However, Kamiki has always liked being around people. It’s not so much that he’s extroverted—he just seemed to enjoy being around others. Due to environmental issues, he developed some anxious tendencies, but if he had grown up naturally, true to his nature, it’s likely that he, not Ai, would have been the one to act affectionately. You can tell by his expressions—he looked so happy, so joyful, and delighted. When he looked at Ai, he seemed like he almost didn’t know what to do with himself because he was overjoyed. He naturally had a love for people(more than Ai in a way because Ai started out cynical- they are in reverse. Kamiki starts out having a natural affection towards people and ended up becoming heartless while Ai started out being wary, then she started to find genuine love. They both are "loving" but I'm talking about their nature of development), and all that affection ended up ultimately being directed at Ai, who had shown him love. He adored people like a puppy, even when he was kicked around, and wanted to keep loving them.

But after losing Ai in such a terrible way, his heart completely withered away. In fact, it feels like the Kamiki we knew died when Ai did.

He changed completely, becoming someone entirely different.

This character's past is filled with suffering, and he is extremely isolated, which feels very unnatural given his personality and appearance. It seems like he never met anyone other than Ai who treated him kindly and warmly, and it’s as if he had no real family relationships either. Normally, in a natural situation, this kind of isolation would be unlikely. It’s not like he had a bad personality, wasn’t attractive enough, lacked intelligence, or had no abilities—he was superior in many ways. Yet, strangely, his life is downright miserable. There are lives like that, but in his case, it seems as if his happiness has been deliberately designed to be absent without Ai.

If I were the writer crafting this character, that would be the main reason for having made him like this.

To ensure that this person, who was decent to this extent, ended up living solely for Ai, I would push his life to such extremes. Making him so blindly dependent on Ai that he couldn’t possibly live without her. The character would be created so that Ai becomes his entire world. He would be willing to give everything, sacrifice anything, live entirely for Ai. But even with all that said, Kamiki wasn’t inherently the kind of person who would go completely mad, even under the worst circumstances. His basic nature wasn’t like that; he wasn’t the type to harm others. He was genuinely gentle and sensitive by nature. Now, he has completely lost his mind, which means there must have been a critical external factor that pushed him over the edge.

That’s what the songs are describing.

In a way, that’s a source of hope, because without it, how could he possibly be saved? It would be hopeless!! What’s the point of trying to save a person so evil and corrupt to the brim? But Ai asked to save him, right? So, it has to be done. For a character like Kamiki, what matters most is Ai’s will, from a narrative standpoint. Even if he says, “I’m beyond hope; I’m a criminal and can’t be saved,” if Ai says, “No, you deserve help,” then that’s how it should go. In this story, who matters more? Ai or Kamiki? It’s Ai, right? Kamiki exists because of Ai, and he is a character who moves according to her presence. He’s simply a character created for Ai. I like it :) Writing stories like that and creating characters like that—it’s quite common in romance stories. Even if you don’t study it, you get the sense of it just by observing.

If I were the writer, I would feel sorry for this character. I had to create him this way for the story (for characters like Nino and Ryosuke, I’d feel sorry because they were designed as villains from the start, but for this character, I’d feel sorry for making his life like this and breaking him to pieces). I probably wrote it this way because it was necessary for the story.

If I were in charge, I’d make sure to give the character enough focus in the story. I would definitely do that.

And if it were up to me, I would never let this character end like this without achieving anything, even once. Even for a villain, if they’re a proper one, they should be given some spotlight. If not, well, then they aren’t really the final boss, are they? Look at what’s happening now. It just makes you think, “Wow… this guy has lost it,” and, “Oh, he wants to see Ai (but is this true love or obsession?)” That’s what you think when you take a step back and just look at it. The character has depth, but this just doesn’t feel satisfying. Looking at the authors’ capabilities, it’s not that they can’t write it properly; they’re just holding it back for now.

It’s really cruel, the way they handle this character. But... if my guess is right, this author’s way of handling characters may be quite similar to mine. I get it, so I end up talking a lot.

When someone creates something beautiful and then completely shatters it, leaving no trace of its original form, it’s not without a reason, as long as it doesn’t come from sadistic intent.

Well... if it turns out they’re doing this just because they lack space in the story, or the effort for proper development, then it'd explain them having given them those two really good songs out of pity. But I hope that's not it. Either way, you'd feel sorry for this character from a writer's standpoint. That'd be the case for me since for me, my characters are like my children or a part of me. You don't make them suffer for the sake of plain suffering...at least, it's not the way I work. I guess I can't say for the writer's behalf but I feel like they do care about their characters. It's inevitable to a degree, if you want to form a character's heart and mentality. You have to dive into them in order to create a complex state of mind. And Kamiki's probably pretty complex. We can't seem to get a clear idea of him, but it does seem like he'd be a lot more than just a flat piece of paper.

It’s almost like, just like in the song "Dead and Seek," he wished to see his deceased lover again, and then something crept into his eyes, shattering and twisting his personality. The songs seem to imply that. If he were just a normal character, I wouldn’t even bring this up. He was someone who practically didn’t have a single malicious bone in his body.

Ai also often misses the mark, but she doesn’t seem to have any intention of hurting others. Aqua and Ruby, on the other hand, have those aspects, and while they can be negative, those traits are also what make them more human in a way.

But with Ai and Kamiki, those traits were almost entirely absent. It’s like they were divine beings in a way. That's actually why I feel...it may be that his responsibility of what brought him to be this way could actually be less than what we may make out of it. If someone contaminates water and dirties it, the water is not at fault but the person is. This boy...started out to be so pure. I guess he should be held responsible, he should be punished for his wrongdoings if he's done so many horrible things, but he didn't start out like this and I'm not sure if he could have become this way while being himself. It really gets me. And that's honestly the only way I see Ai's wish bearing fruit.

[monstersinthecosmos]

okay I wanna talk about how Marius & Lestat are such similar people both in the sense of their personalities & behaviors but also the way they were turned and I keep coming back to this quote in BCtu:

So let me begin the narrative on a night when Marius, the ancient Roman Child of the Millennia, in a fit of pique became impatient with what he referred to as my “nauseating buoyancy and optimism” about the world in general.

I keep coming back to the thought that something divides them here, the big thing that they DON'T share is the optimism. Marius finds it nauseating! Part of this is like, the 1800 year age gap, so I always have to wonder like what that does to him and ask if Lestat will have calmed down even a little by the time he's that age. But it's hard to know how much is innate, and how much is locked in place by the Blood anyway, and how capable any of them are of real change. But I think it has a lot to do with the way they were each turned, and the immediate aftermath, and how Marius's life was basically instantly burdened with something enormous that caused him pain for 2,000 years. It feels more like, although they have so much in common, Marius is essentially sort of a pessimist, even though he likes to pretend he isn't.

“Lestat, you are the damnedest creature! Yes, a brat prince.” Slowly, he reinvoked every detail of Lestat’s face and form. The ice-blue eyes, darkening with laughter; the generous smile; the way the eyebrows came together in a boyish scowl; the sudden flares of high spirits and blasphemous humor. Even the catlike poise of the body he could envisage. So uncommon in a man of muscular build. Such strength, always such strength and such irrepressible optimism.

Anyway I bring it up because I was thinking a lot about how Marius ALSO has a drive for creative expression, but tends to spend his entire immortal life loathing his nature and feeling like he isn't allowed to be a part of the human world. Like this part about how he destroys all of his writing:

But then there came nights when I thought that everything I'd written was useless. After all, what was the purpose? I could not enter these descriptions, these observations, these poems, these essays, into the mortal world! They were contaminated in that they came from a blood drinker, a monster who slew humans for his own survival. There was no place for the poetry or history which had come from a greedy mind and heart. And so I began to destroy not only my fresh writings, but even the old essays which I had written in Antioch in the past. I took the scrolls out of the chests one by one and burnt them as I had burnt the records of my family. Or I merely kept them, locked up tight, and away from my eyes, so that nothing I'd written could spark in me anything new. It was a great crisis of the soul.

And this part about his paintings:

Always, there was that sense of familiarity - that I had seen this garden that I had known it long before I was allowed by Akasha to drink her blood. I had seen the stone benches in it, I had seen the fountains. I couldn't shake the sensations of being in it as I painted, so strong was the feeling. I'm not sure it aided me in my work. Perhaps it hurt. But as I gained skill as a painter, and I did indeed gain skill, other aspects of the work disturbed me. I was convinced that there was something unnatural in it, something inherently ghastly in the manner with which I drew human figures so nearly perfectly, something unnatural in the way I made the colors so unusually bright, and added so many fierce little details. I was particularly repelled by my penchant for decorative details. As much as I was driven to do this work, I hated it. I composed whole gardens of lovely mythic creatures only to rub them out. Sometimes I painted so fast that I exhausted myself, and fell down on the floor of the shrine, spending the paralytic sleep of the whole day there, helpless, rather than going to my secret resting place - my coffin - which was hidden not far from my house. We are monsters, that is what I thought whenever I painted or looked on my own painting, and that's what I think now. Never mind that I want to go on existing. We are unnatural. We are witnesses with both too much and too little feeling. And as I thought these things, I had before me the mute witnesses, Akasha and Enkil. What did it matter to them what I did?

But it's still something he feels he NEEDS to do, he has to appease his creative drive so that he can survive.

But now I took stock of them from my point of view not as Marius the rich man who can have whatever he wishes, but as Marius the monster painter who had rendered Pandora twenty-one times on the four walls of Akasha's shrine. I saw suddenly how inferior were these paintings, how rigid and pallid the goddesses and nymphs who peopled this world of my study, and quickly I woke my day slaves and told them that they must have everything covered over with fresh paint the following day. Also an entire supply of the best paints must be purchased and brought to the house. Never mind how the walls were to be redecorated. Leave that to me. Cover up all that was there. They were used to my eccentricities, and after making certain that they understood me, they went back to their sleep. I didn't know what I meant to do, except I felt driven to make pictures, and I felt if I can cling to that, if I can do that, then I can go on. My misery deepened.

This was a lot to copy & paste, apologies! But all of this stuck out to me as I've been thinking about the ways Marius and Lestat are both creative people who need to make things. With Lestat it was his music, and then his books. ((Also a sidenote but there were so many of Anne's journal entries that I saw at Tulane where she kept saying things like "I need to write stories" !)) Imagine if he'd felt Marius's shame and pessimism and had the foresight to destroy his work or to keep it private. And imagine if Marius's manic creative episodes had happened in the 1980s when it was instantly global and breaching containment to the detriment of vampire kind!

At this point in the book Marius is around 300 years old, so not that far off from Lestat. But he's still young and raw and emotionally dysregulated ! It's just fascinating that Lestat lived in a time where he couldn't just undo what he created.

[sexybritishllama]

i'm only like 5 minutes into the 7.1 msq so far so hey maybe they'll turn my opinion round on this but...... why are the dawntrail writers afraid of conflict in any shape or form

we open up with a guy talking to his dad about how difficult it has been for him adjusting to life after being trapped in the dome for 30 years and then coming back to tural to everyone expecting him to still be a kid. because he should still be a kid! as far as people in tural are concerned, a couple days/weeks ago, he was a child

but now he's not. with all the time-fuckery, he lived 30 full years in alexandria, he has a wife and kid now, he's made a whole life for himself! and it's incredibly disorienting to come back to what SHOULD be home, only to find everything is foreign now, even basic daily tasks now frustrating and embarrassing because he's so used to relying on electrope after doing it most of his life!

this is INTERESTING. it's difficult for both the dad and the son. you understand frustration/sadness on both sides, there's time lost that they can never get back, and a newfound cultural divide that there's no precedence for dealing with before

aaaaaand we get like, 6 dialogue boxes of dialogue talking about this before wuk lamat comes in to say hey, heard you were potentially struggling with something and that is not allowed, here's an immediate solution

and the guy just says oh great thanks! i will be fine now :)

and this just feels like a repeat of how EVERY potential conflict in dawntrail goes. defused immediately before it goes anywhere, with an unnatural level of amity from everyone involved.

like when we went to the mamook for the first time i was excited because like oh the villagers won't even talk to us, bakool ja ja is competing for succession and hasn't been playing fair so there's no way we'll solve everything with a single heart-to-heart, we'll have to work harder and have some conflict and even then we probably still won't agree on everything-

nope. talk to your obligatory 3 villagers, go to location B, have wuk lamat do her heart-to-heart and everyone is suddenly in agreement again and working towards the same thing and together and fine :)

ugh. there's just so much potential in dawntrail that they don't do anything with and i think that frustrates me about it more than anything else

[bumpkinspice0]

Parallels Chapter 15: The Cure

Miguel O'Hara x Spider!FemReader

No use of y/n

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Ignorance is bliss, but bliss is always temporary.

Warnings: Like just so much angst, big feelings, mentions of past smut, verbal argument, this is cringey, i'm sorry

A/N:  Again, sorry updates to this story have been slower. I didn't really know which direction I wanted to go with everything up to this point/ how to resolve stuff I have planned. BUT I think I have a much better plan and idea of how to continue (and eventually) end this story. So, all that to say updates will likely be more frequent again now that I know what direction I'm going. Like the next 2 chapters are already half written so we good. Loves yous guys!

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Series Masterlist

AO3

_______________

Chapter 15

The Cure

“I’m not eating that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s fucking blue, Gwen.”

“People eat blue stuff all the time,” Gwen slides the lunch tray closer to you, the most off-putting hamburger sitting in the center. An absolutely unnatural blue bun with the design of Miguel’s mask painted across the top in red. You wonder if he approved this himself or if it was a private joke everyone was waiting for him to notice. Very likely the latter.

“Bread is not supposed to be blue,” You push the tray back across the table. You swear the little edible abomination is staring back at you.

“I’m with her on this one,” Jess nudges your side, looking just as disgusted as you were at the blue monstrosity. “Things creepy, Gwen.”

“I’ll eat it then,” Hobie snatches the burger from the tray and takes a generous bite without hesitation, “Rid us all of such a horrid thing.”

“Do they serve any non-spider-themed food here?” Gwen and Hobie’s new friend asks, “Like just normal food?”

“The empanadas are alright?” Gwen shrugs.

Pavitir Prabharkar. Pavi, they seemed to call him for short. Just joined about a month ago. He only had a few months of being Spider-Man before that. He was fresh and rosey to the game. An enthusiasm you probably once had when you first started. Hobie and Gwen had taken him in immediately and you’d rarely seen one of them without the other at their side these days. It was sweet, and honestly relieving to see people so young with such a big job have each other, especially Gwen. She was finding a family here after losing everything.

You ran into them in the cafeteria just grabbing a quick bite. You could have eaten in Miguel’s house but you ultimately decided to be a little more social to start your day. You sadly woke up alone, again, but Miguel left a note on the bedside table for you. 

Had some errands to run. Meet me in the lab at 1.

-Mig 

He even topped it all off with a sweet little heart drawn in the bottom corner. It seemed unlike him to vanish with a note. Well, actually it was very like him, but something about it just felt off. Even Lyla wouldn’t elaborate for you. Maybe your emotions were running high after spending all night tangled in each other's arms.  Maybe he needed time to process everything, or maybe he really was just that busy. He did have a whole multiverse team to run. You’re past the point of wondering why he did the things he did.  Miguel had his ways and you had yours. As long as you find each other in the end.

Regardless, you were completely fine with moping around the tower for a few hours today. You didn’t have anything to be home for and you had some catching up to do with the crew.

So here you were, roped into a lunch with mostly teenagers trying to feed you lethal amounts of blue dye 99. All in all, you can’t complain.

“Room for one more?” The most comfortably dressed of the spider-men slides in next to Gwen, his infant daughter strapped proudly to his chest for all the world to admire. 

“Sure,” Gwen rolls her eyes but still has an amused smile she tries to hide. “You wanna try a Hamburger, Peter?”

“The blue ones? Say no more.” Peter B. Parker— basically Gwen’s weird uncle. You didn’t know him much yourself but he liked to hang around Gwen. They’d both been one of the originals shot into Earth-1610. The place that started it all— forbidden from travel. Home to the original anomaly. You never asked Gwen about it but you could see it in her eyes sometimes. The longing for someone she left there. You think Peter felt similarly. How could they not? You’d caught them bickering about it once or twice— about him and when they could go back for him. If they could go back. 

Someone who changed their lives forever, just a watch jump away. You’d heard his name whispered like it was a curse. 

Miles Morales. The original anomaly. One of the main reasons you're all here. Just a kid caught up in the wrong mess. Still, he had someone like Gwen and Peter to help him through it. What you would have given to have someone like them around when you first got bitten. You don’t know the details of what happened, and you don’t want to be rude and ask, but it clearly changed something for both of them. Whoever they were before was someone completely different than the people you knew sitting at the table with you today. The multiverse will do that, you suppose. 

Mayday crawls from her carrier and takes her place prominently in the center of the table. Center of attention, as she should be. 

“Oh, MJ’s gonna love this.” Peter pulls out his phone immediately, dozens of pictures taken in the span of maybe 3 seconds. 

Hobie and Pavi don’t hesitate to join in on the impromptu photoshoot. Jess and Gwen both hang their heads in embarrassment. Gwen was taking on her mannerisms after a few months of mentorship. Jess really did take her first request to heart and practically adopted the girl. 

This was it. This was your community. Your tribe. These fucking weirdos, and you loved it. In spite of all this fucked up shit with Miguel, you’d made a home in this place— with these weirdos. It seemed like Miguel could be part of it if he just tried a little harder. You think he wanted to be. He longed for those human connections, it was so obvious once you got to know him. And still, he kept everyone at arm's length for almost no reason. He always wanted to be viewed as equal. He did the same work as his other spiders, had the same missions and goals, yet closed himself off from being a part of the community. Maybe he wanted to be feared as well. He always tried so hard to convince you he was a monster. That he wasn’t worthy of love. 

You should bring him down here. You could help him join it all again. He was a stubborn man, yes, but could eventually listen to reason— if you were annoying enough about it. Miguel deserved so much more than he gave himself. 

Would he do that with you? Be out in the open side by side? You’d never thought about it before but now you think it’s something you might want. No more hiding. There would be a lot more to work out but… that’d be a start.

Maybe. Maybe he would go for it. 

One o’clock sneaks up so quickly you almost miss it, shamefully having to pull yourself away from your chaotic lunch table with some made-up excuse. Maybe you wouldn’t have to lie anymore. Maybe you could finally come clean and this weight could be lifted off your shoulders. 

Something changed between you and Miguel over these last few months. Something that wasn’t there before. If you think about it too long you’ll start to doubt yourself. He couldn’t hide it either. What you’d both become to each other. It started out so complicated but now it seems like you’d both surrendered to it. He showed you his home, his life, his heart. You’d both given it all to each other and now one of you just had to say it out loud. 

What in particular you’d say, you have no idea. 

The spider-sense hums when you cross the threshold into Miguel’s lab. The air in it is heavy, but that’s nothing new— especially considering what happened here the other night. The memory makes your cheeks blush.

And as always, there he stands on his desk platform, still as a statue. Always working. Yeah, you really needed to force some friends on him after this. You swing up to the platform and pull him into a hug from behind. He almost topples over from the dramatic entrance, bracing himself on the desk. 

“Hi,” you murmur lovingly into his back. 

“Hello,” He grumbles. It comes out irritated but you can tell he’s smiling. 

“Just got back from the cafeteria. You should really get a burger from there some time,” you tease him, leaning back into one of the swivel chairs.

“Why?” He turns to face you, eyebrows knitted together. 

“I just… think you’d like them,” you smile, giving the chair a good spin, “So, what’s up? You wanna talk about yesterday I’m assuming?”

His shoulders immediately tense and you feel a little bad for bringing it up so bluntly. God, he probably felt awful about putting you both in that position and ultimately… how it got resolved. Not that you minded. You feel like you have to stop yourself from blurting ‘Not the sex! The sex was great!’ Instead, you just shut up and let him take the lead.

“I… no. And yes,” he stammers, leaning back against the desk, “How are you… feeling?”

“Uh, fine I suppose,” You bring your knees up to your chest, suddenly a little wary of how to continue. He was on edge about it, you could tell. Your hand rubs over the fresh healed skin on your neck, “Just fine.”

“Good,” he looks away. Something was off. Maybe he just asked you to come in because he felt like he had to. Like he had to explain himself. You want to assure him he didn’t. 

“Miguel, if you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s—”

“No!” He snaps his head back in your direction, “It’s not that. It’s not—”

He growls, pushing several papers off his desk. Okay, so he was really upset about something. Something you did? Something in the multiverse. You don’t know, but when it comes to dealing with Miguel you’ve found a gentle hand is what gets results. 

You stand up and wrap a hand around his forearm, urging him to face you. He turns, a grimace on his face. He still looks away. Could he not even look at you? The implications of that frighten you, but still, you press on. Your other hand slowly comes up to his cheek and the lines on his face instantly smooth under your touch. Well that’s a good sign, right?

“You’re making this so much harder than it needs to be,” he mumbles, placing a kiss into your palm. 

“Please tell me what on earth you’re talking about so I can stop freaking out down here.” You weakly attempt a smile. 

He sighs, gently removing your hands. He grabs a metal case from the desk. He clicks it open and holds it in front of you. Inside are two vials of a pale green liquid. They look remarkably similar to his power dampeners. 

The realization finally hits you.

“Miguel?”

“It finished synthesizing after the attack.” His voice is so gentle now. So calm, “I wanted to give you time… Give us both some time.” 

There it is. The cure to your bond. The very thing you were praying for months ago. You should be happy, right? This is what you wanted. Your salvation. So why did it feel like you just got punched in the gut?

“It’s…it’s a one-time injection,” He takes one of the vials out and examines it in his hands. “There’ll be no pain. It’s safe.” 

You don’t know what you're supposed to say. Was he really expecting you to say anything, though? Your stunned silence was probably answer enough. He takes the other vial out and hands it to you. You hesitantly accept it, almost expecting it to burn your skin when you roll it around in your hands. It was so… innocent. It was nothing. This little tube was holding your heart in your hands. 

“What…what do we do now?” your voice comes out so small you almost do recognize it. 

You see a twinge of pain flash across his face. He turns away to grab the injector gun. He holds it idly between you two. 

“Now we… go back to business as usual.” 

You look down at the offensive object. The final nail in the coffin to seal both of your fates. This was the goal all along. This is what needed to happen. You place your hand on top of the injector gun. This time it does burn. It feels wrong. The spider-sense makes your vision flash with white as soon as you touch it. You stumble away, almost in fear.

“I… I can’t do this, Miguel.” 

“What?” he hurriedly sets the gun aside. 

“Don’t you feel it?” Your heart is suddenly beating a mile a minute. You're afraid. Afraid of losing him or afraid of what this serum with do to you, you’re not really sure. 

“It– it doesn’t matter. We have to.” So he does feel it too. The rising anxiety. The panic. The screaming inside your head. 

“And what if we do, Miguel? What happens after?” You’re fighting to hold back tears. You’re already bargaining. You’re pleading with him and it feels so pathetic, “Can’t we still—”

“No.” It came out so quickly it was like a bullet to your chest, “We can’t— we shouldn’t. It’s too risky. We’ve already risked enough just by–”

He trails off, turning away again. He doesn’t want to be doing this either. If it was painful for you, it had to be painful for him. He couldn’t just cut you off so callously, right? He was putting on a stone mask because he didn’t want to feel. You know this all meant something to him. You meant something. You know it.

Suddenly you want to hurt him. You want him to feel how you feel. Make your words sting— Just show he’ll show some emotions. Anything.

“I keep sharing so much of myself with you and the next day you turn around and act like it meant nothing. Like I mean nothing to you.” A tear finally falls. He turns back around and you can see him resisting the urge to comfort you, hands clenched tightly at his sides.

“That’s not true.”

“Then say it. Say I mean something. Don’t you fucking care?”

“I—I can—that’s not—”

It’s not fair. You’re not being fair but panic is taking the wheel. It makes you angry. Makes you mean.

“No? Then say I don’t mean anything if you want this to be over so bad.” You spit.

You see the words wound him, “Of course you do. But you know— you know this can’t possibly work.”

“Why not?!”

His lips flatten into a thin line and he turns away. He hunches over the desk with a heavy sigh, “I shouldn’t have to explain why to you.”

For once, he’s right. He doesn’t. You know why. You absolutely know why. His wife. His daughter. An entire world gone by his doing. Somehow, you can’t bring yourself to reason with the very real risks— the selfish risks you’ve been taking. What either of you could do to your respective realities. You could end the world if you weren’t careful. Everything must be balanced and this bond was tipping the scales. You both simply being together was a risk to the universe at large. Something so small had very real consequences. Miguel proved that a long time ago. 

You always knew this was selfish from the beginning.

Yet another part of you doesn't believe that. This was hard but the right choice should be obvious, right? You made hard choices all the time as a spider. The right choice was always easy in the end because you were sure of yourself. So why did this feel so… wrong? 

The tears fall at full force now. 

“Miguel I— I don’t know what to do,” you clutch at your chest. “I know this is what we agreed on. I know it’s what we should do. I know but it feels so— you have to feel it too.”

He catches you before you can crumple to the ground. He pulls you in close as you tremble in his arms. The sense hums but it wants more. It wants him, and this just isn’t enough. 

You’re not sure how long you stand there with him holding you like a pathetic child. Hugs are usually so comforting. This one felt more like an apology. An unsaid I’m sorry for putting us both through this. You want to hit him. You want to kiss him and never stop. You want to scream. 

In the end, you do nothing. You do nothing and he just holds you.

Eventually, he’s the first to break the silence.

“This is the way it has to be.” 

You're angry. You’re angry because you know he’s right. Despite being so similar, you were from different worlds at the end of the day. Different realities. You were never supposed to meet. Yet here you are crying into his arms. 

Fate is ruthless that way. 

The cure is still clutched in your hands, burning a hole through your palm. You pull away from him and look down at the horrid little thing. 

“You don’t have to take it right now,” He says, his hand closing over the top of yours. “When you're ready.”

You nod, shoving the damned thing in your pocket. “When will you take yours?”

He hesitates for a moment, “When I’m ready.” 

It makes you want to start sobbing all over again. He didn’t want this to be over either. Just when you thought you could have it all, it’s ripped away from both of you. 

But… this is how it had to be. 

Despite the pain, despite your own greedy wants, it’s what must be done for the sake of the greater good. That’s what a spider always does, right? That’s what this world is, constant sacrifice. The glamorous life of a hero— you’re so tired of it. 

You’re not making it any easier for yourself by lingering around him. He wanted this to be over quickly, and so did you. End it, then you can go your separate ways— and cry on Jack’s couch for the next month. If this had to end, then it had to end completely. Snuff out the flames now so he doesn’t hurt more later. 

You want to kiss him so badly, but you have to remain strong. Both of your resistance is paper thin and a single wrong move could tear it all down and make this even more painful. Take a page from his book and put on a stone mask. Don’t feel— at least for right now. 

You step out of his grasp, instantly missing his warmth when you do. You hug yourself, hoping to keep some of him with you. 

“I should go,” You simply say. 

“Okay.” He nods, reaching out and then instantly retracting his hand. God, why did this have to be so hard?

You don’t even realize you’d hit your button home until the portal materializes behind you. Its deep bassy buzzing falls deaf on your ears. You gaze into its menagerie of pulsing colors and see only gray now. 

The sense pounds against your skull when you take a step closer to your way home. 

Stay! Stay here, with him!

The sense always seemed like its own entity anyway. Something inside you panicking for its own self-preservation. Maybe that’s all this was— a parasite. It helped to think about it that way, at least. 

You turn to take one last look at Miguel. A hulking man standing at nearly 7 feet tall… just looked so small right now. So defeated. You did that to him— and you can’t do anything to fix it. Not anymore. 

Your first instincts about the spider-sense were right. 

It was a curse. 

“Miguel?” His name almost hurts to say. He looks into your very soul, blood-red eyes somehow speaking words that could never be fully articulated. “Thank you. For… everything.”

You don’t wait for a response, stepping into the world between worlds, eager to be home where you’d allow yourself to fall apart all over again. 

________

Taglist:

@ineedgarlicbread @pinkiemme @thesilenthill @bontensbabygirl @fallenangelsongwolf @raerorigel @littlefreakymunson @viriexo

@w33ni3 @del-ightfulling

Taglist post here!!!

[rudycomics]

Rudy Recs: Witch Watch (and its bittersweet love story)

I've written in the past before about some of the things I've been reading in shonen jump, You and I are Polar Opposites as an example, and the current generation of manga in their lineup right now has some interesting stuff going on. Somehow, Witch Watch is not one of the manga I hear other people talking about as often as the others and I think that's a real shame!

Kenta Shinohara has 2 award winning manga under his belt and even though his concepts don't have this really intense fantastical hook and his art isn't clamoring for attention in the ways things like Chainsaw Man or Dandadan do, I think Witch Watch has incredible range. It's part romance, part slapstick comedy/gag manga, and part shonen battle manga all together, bouncing back and forth between these different styles each chapter.

I always felt like it was just really solidly put together and consistently entertaining (except for when the story focuses on some side characters writing fan doujinshi which bores me to DEATH), but the thing that made me feel like I needed to write about it was the way the series handles the romance between the two main characters, Nico, the witch given a prophesized control over every type of magic, and Morihito, her childhood friend and chosen protector because he happens to be one of the last Ogres in the world.

I'm going to be talking spoilers for things that happened in recent chapters, so be warned!

I will put a warning when I get to it, but I like writing about these things because I personally think getting someone to gush about specific instances of well executed craft gets me more interested in checking out new things than anything else.

The basic setup to their romance is that Nico has a crush on Morihito (which she calls Moi and I'll use this nickname for convenience) and she begins living with him as her mother received a prophecy that some evil force will try to use Nico and her unnatural powers for evil purposes that will ultimately bring her harm in the process. Moi is chosen to be Nico's familiar to protect her from whatever this vague danger may end up being, but we see their personalities clash right away. She's very aware of him and he seems very stone-walled and closed off, despite their being some sort of connection between them from childhood.

The two get into a lot of wacky situations as Nico attends school and continuously uses her powers to try to help classmates with their personal troubles and they make some new friends along the way with their own special powers. The household of just the two of them grows into a house of 4 boys and Nico, with two other girls making frequent appearances. We learn about all these characters and their quirks and see how they are all invested in helping Nico try to form a relationship with Moi. It's not until a good handful of chapters later that we learn that in typical Nico fashion, she had somehow ended up putting a curse on Moi when they were children that locked Moi into being "best friends forever" with Nico, essentially kneecapping any romantic growth from sprouting from Moi.

It's not that important to what I wanted to talk about, but I do think this is such a fun story device because it completely fits in line with everything we've learned about Nico and what every wacky situation stems from in this series: Nico somehow uses her magic in ways that challenge the intuitive way the powers would seem to work and creating unintended effects on top of what the power is supposed to do. Nico's bond with Moi ever since they were children has also become the reason that nothing will ever happen between them.

EXCEPT... All of their new friends have sussed the situation out and form a plan to break through the curse and free Moi to accept the feelings that are actually blocked off inside his heart that they all know are there. They even have this fun visual metaphor of a heart with a valve leaking romantic feelings that gets repeated all through this arc.

They try some things to get Moi to over flow with feelings faster than the curse can repress them which is fun but ultimately fruitless, only for Moi to accidentally being able to listen in to Nico tell everyone that she loves him because of all his flaws that are center to his insecurities that make him close up. It's a beautiful moment that caps it off with using that visual metaphor again to really push emotion to the reader and I thought this was so effective!

From here on, I think what I want to talk about is spoilery enough that I should put a marker here for people that don't want to see anymore before reading:

**SPOILER WARNING!!**

The two both have feelings for each other at this point and Moi wants to confess to Nico now, but tragedy strikes as the big bad makes his move to attack Nico and friends which ends up costing Moi his life as he gets shot in the chest with a gun. Nico uses her powers to heal him at the cost of something of her own and what she ends up giving up is her time, which includes her memories, and turns back into a 5 year old.

The group find out that Nico can be restored to her natural state by collecting these magic butterflies that escaped from her body during her spell, and here is where I think this series does something that really grabbed me.

I read a LOT of manga. Like, scouring for new stuff to read every day. Comics are my primary source of entertainment and I read a LOT of romance stories. One of the things that I feel like authors have to consider when writing compelling romance is how to get readers to connect with characters enough to also want to see those characters get into a relationship. In general, I think a lot of this connection buildup happens AFTER characters get together and you have to just get accept the weak initial romantic beginning (like Galaxy Next Door for example), OR the story spends its whole lifetime creating their bonds slowly and ends right as they get together which annoys me, personally (hoping this one doesn't do that, but we will have to see).

What I think Witch Watch does here is so striking and unique; Nico and the gang put in so much effort in between their escapades to get these two characters together so that they can be happy. Right when things lock into place, it all comes to a halt and resets, but what doesn't get reset is the readers' understanding and connections to these characters. We're already invested in Nico and Moi and we get a second chance to see these characters form a loving connection in a really unique way that feels unpredictable as Nico slowly regains her age and memories back. It's got a bittersweet tone to it as Moi doesn't get to express his love in the way that he wants to, but we get to see such a complex form of love develop as he takes the role of a caretaker for little Nico. Love is more than romance or attraction and getting a chance to put that trope away for a bit to do something different is so refreshing. It really builds out something so much more complete and more befitting of a seinen maybe, rather than a shonen with fight scenes and mythical characters.

This current arc is the beginning of part 2 of Witch Watch, with the big bad leaving the group alone because Nico is useless to him as a child with no control over magic. We know this peace will come to an end when Nico is restored to her proper age, but we get to see the characters all get up to their silly antics again with child Nico in the mix now. It's a really cool shakeup that adds new life to the slapstick comedy bits that make up most of the story, putting the action in the back seat again for now. This is the most recent chapter at the time of me writing this (chapter 133), and seeing Moi's perspective as the point of view in contrast to Nico's experiences so far is really gripping to me. This final page of the chapter is what did it for me:

It hurts, but it's love. The pain is temporary, all for the goal of being together when it's all over, with a connection deeper than anything that they would have formed otherwise.

Please go give Witch Watch a read! It's really fun!!

[star-girl69]

I Loved You Like the Sun

a/n: ok thoughts on this being a fix-it fic??? aka no one dies basically (i still have to work out the details but…) anyways we’re finally back to the (somewhat) canon plot. i hope you all enjoy!!

also this fic is available to read on ao3!! my acc is: star_girl69

warnings: incest, swearing, mentions of violence, mentions of death, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Eighteen- I Made You

—-

Before your mother had died, you spent all of your time with her. The nanny’s were often dismissed, the nursemaid not needed, because your mother wanted to hold her baby. Do everything for her baby, for you.

You had a memory of her, hazy, of her getting ready for a dinner with some important people from the region. You sat on a chair beside her, watching with wide eyes as a handmaiden placed a pink powder on her face, brushed her hair back.

“Promise me, my love.”

“Yes, mama?” You has whispered, entranced with your mother.

She turned to you with a sad smile, and you could see the creams piled onto her face. She looked unnaturally younger.

“Promise me you’ll never change what I made.”

You tilted your head to the side, confused. She pulled you into her lap, brushing something wet off of her face.

“I made you, you know. I made your heart, your brain, your fingers and toes. That is the most beautiful thing about being a mother. Knowing that you made something from scratch, made a whole human being.” She took a shuddering breath, and a handmaiden whispered that it was time to go. “Promise me you won’t change for someone else? Don’t pile these creams on your face, don’t wear tight dresses. You are perfect the way I made you.”

She lifted you off of her lap, giving you a final pat on the head before heading down to dinner.

A nanny whisked you off to your own room, tucked you into bed with a story and promises that your mother would be back soon.

She died a few days later, of course. A horse-riding accident. But even as young as you were, you never forgot what she said.

No matter if you couldn’t make sense of it. No matter that the memory hurt to think about.

You never forgot.

—-

It wasn’t until this day that you finally understood what your mother meant.

As you stared at the thing in your arms, a writhing mess of blood-covered flesh. White hair on top of a head, tufts of it, like snow.

“A girl, My Lady.”

“A girl?” Your brown was damp, hair sticking to your sweaty head.

“A girl,” the maester repeated, kind smile on his face. You think you smiled as well, breathless and still consumed with pain.

You looked back down to the baby. To your baby.

She didn’t open her eyes, but you knew she had the most stunning lilac eyes. From somewhere outside, you faintly heard the unmistakable sound of Cannibal roaring. His approval for a healthy baby, you thought.

“Shall I call in the Prince and Princess, my Lady?” You nodded absentmindedly to the handmaiden, watching as your daughter wrapped her small hand around your finger.

“I made you,” you whispered. “Don’t change what I made. Because I made you perfect.”

The door flew open, the sounds of footsteps filling your ears. You looked up, seeing Daemon fall to his knees at the edge of your bed.

“Oh, oh, Gods,” he murmured, reaching out a tentative hand to the snow-white tufts of hair. “Oh, my love, you did so well.” He brought his other hand to you, pressing a kiss to your bare arm.

Rhaenyra followed, stomach round like yours, looking over Daemon with that same look in her eyes.

“A boy? A girl?” She asks, something wet falling down her face as she reaches forward to brush back the sweaty hair stuck to your brow.

“I made a girl,” you whisper, proud of what you’ve done. What you’ve made.

Rhaenyra lets out a cross between a sob and a laugh.

Love, you have learned, is not contentment. Is not something to just get by. It is fire, it is consuming, it is fear and fire all rolled into one.

In this moment, you do not feel content. You feel scared, loved, proud.

“Our baby,” Rhaenyra whispers.

You are on fire.

—-

You are thirty-two years old. You know the difference between like and love, the difference between want and need. You know that you love your daughters, your sons. You like books and chocolate cake, sewing with Rhaena. You love Cannibal, and you love the feel of just him and you in the clouds.

You know that you need your husband and wife, want the fire they create inside of you.

You are like a storm inside, and you crave equilibrium. You need them, with their warm hands and overprotective natures, clipped ways of talking that make you hang from their every word. They are the right amount of chaos and peace, keeping you on your toes while simultaneously making themselves a fixture in your life. Dependability and spontaneity do not mix, but your dragons have managed to roll the two into one. They remind you of your own mortality while still making you feel engrossed in the moment, enough so it only hangs in the back of your mind.

Besides, with them, you never feel anything other than fire.

You are thirty-two, standing on the balcony of Dragonstone. You fidget with the necklace hanging on your chest, a Valyrian steel dragon.

You look out towards the mountains, where your husband searches for a clutch of dragon eggs. You have only had one daughter- the light of your life, blood of your blood, Daenys- but Syrax and Caraxes are as insatiable as their riders.

You sigh as Joffrey calls for you, turning away from his nanny.

“Yes, sweetling?”

“What should I name my dragon?” You turn to him, seeing a wooden dragon in his hands.

“Oh, Gods. I’m not sure. Perhaps you should name it Y/N?” He laughs, and you smile while your stomach rolls with nausea.

You have had a bad feeling all week- Daemon jokes you might be a dragon dreamer- and it has manifested itself into a feeling in your stomach. Rhaenyra scolds him and urges you to visit the maester, who gives you teas that do help. It is anxiety, he says. About what, you do not know.

The door opens abruptly, red silk swishing as Rhaenyra walks down the steps. She beckons you over and you come into earshot of Jace and his tutor.

“And landed at the Blackwater Rush.” Rhaenyra takes your arm, pressing a kiss to your cheek. She walks forward with you next to her, speaking something in Valyrian you don’t quite catch. Your stomach rolls pleasurably know, the way her tongue rolls over the sounds making the fire inside flare deliciously.

Jace repeats the word several times, trying to get it into his brain.

“At the end?” He asks, gesturing towards Rhaenyra.

“Mouth.” She provides, and he hangs his head.

“Mouth! Come on, Jace, you knew that.” You break from Rhaenyra, placing what you hope to be a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Perhaps that’s enough for this morning.” Rhaenyra suggests, both arms looping under herself now that she does not have you to hold.

“No, no! I want to keep going.” Rhaenyra shrugs, and you back away, let him have his space. “Maester,”

The maester says something else, and Jace nods to himself.

“Aegon ordered that the trees should be… killed.”

Rhaenyra shakes her head with a smile, and you start to circle over to her.

“Cut down?” You ask, and she shakes her head again.

Jace shrugs, and Rhaenyra takes pity on him.

“Felled,” Jace scoffs.

“It is a related word,” you try.

“We don’t expect you to learn High Valyrian in a day, Jace.”

Jace shakes his head, hair whipping as he does so.

“A king should honor the traditions of his forebears.”His tone is final, but Rhaenyra does not waver.

“Well… unless you’re planning to depose your own mother you have plenty of time to study.”

Jace stands in silence, and Rhaenyra looks on him warmly. But the door opens and Daemon comes up the stairs, having returned from the Dragonmount.

His head hangs low as he walks and you would be lying if you said you did not practically run over to him. But his face does brighten when you open your arms to him. He wraps around you tight, pressing a distracted kiss to your temple.

“Leave us,” Rhaenyra murmurs, and you hear the shuffling of feet and doors. Daemon let’s out a hard sigh, and you pull back to look at him.

“What’s happened?” You ask as Rhaenyra walks over, and he does nothing but hand her a small scroll and pull you back to his side.

You watch Rhaenyra’s face as you read, seeing confusion, understanding, and anger all roll across your face. She gives the scroll to you with a distressed look, and you pour over it quickly.

“He means to question Luke’s legitimacy. And by extension Jace, and by extension my own claim to the throne.” You frown, taking in her words and Baela’s swooping letters.

“Vaemond cares only about Driftmark and the Velaryon line. Not about our politics.”

“He’s a foolish man,” you hiss, and Rhaenyra takes the note back from you.

“Has he made common cause with Otto Hightower yet?”

“That is what I fear.” She sighs, letting her arms fall. “Rhaenys has flown to court. Surely she cannot be planning to back him.”

“No. Whatever disagreements we may have had, she’s not cruel… or stupid enough to do that.”

“Disagreements?” Rhaenyra hisses, and you sigh and place your forehead upon Daemon’s shoulder. The events leading up to their marriage had been eventful, to say the least, and you had heard much about it. “She believes we had her son killed so that we might marry.”

“Yes… and yet, she’s taken Baela to ward.” Your heart clenches at Daemon’s words, at the thought of your Baela.

“And it is Laena’s memory she homes. She has no love for us.” She shakes her head, smiling bitterly. “The only one of us in this marriage she actually likes is you, Y/N.”

Daemon smiles and leans back, arm curling up to press against the side of your head.

“Has the viper’s venom spread so far?”

“Those vipers rule in my father’s name. And my father-” She trails off, and your purse your lips. Reaching out a hand, she sees it and takes it. Her skin is warm against yours, and she squeezes, excess stress seeping out from her. She sighs. “What choice do I have?”

Daemon says nothing, simply taking his left hand and reaching out. He rests it on the side of Rhaenyra’s face.

The moment is tender, and you feel sated with love.

Daemon drops his hand.

“To King’s Landing, then.”

—-

With your late husband gone, King’s Landing holds no strife for you. Besides Otto Hightower, knowing that the threat you present to his family with your dragon.

Otto is a latern. You are fire. Cannibal much prefers fire.

The boat ride was uneventful, the most that happened being some of the younger children feeling sick. As the carriage bumped, you thought back to long night’s in your cabin with Daemon and Rhaenyra, the three of you each holding a nauseous young child all throughout the night.

Daenys and Viserys squirmed in your lap, much more happy at the feel of earth beneath them.

Rhaenyra looked to you with a smile, shifting to face you. Her legs pressed against yours, her smile hard to see in the poorly lit carriage.

“Are you nervous?” You whispered, hoping she would let you in.

“A bit. But it is best to face it, yes? No use worrying.” You nodded, pressing a solemn smile to your face. She stared at you for a moment, before the carriage came to an abrupt stop.

“All hail Rhaenyra of House Targaryen,”

“Jace, help your mother with one of the babies,”

“Princess of Dragonstone-”

“But-”

“-and heir to the Iron Throne-”

“You would do well to listen to her, Jace. Now help your mother.”

“-and her royal consort, Prince Daemon Targaryen.”

You straightened your skirts, Viserys tight in your grip, after Jace had taken Daenys from you. He scowled, balancing both his sword and his younger sister.

“Cunts,” Daemon hisses. “I have two wives.”

The carriage door opened and Rhaenyra stepped out, taking a few slow steps down the stairs. No doubt feeling a thousand emotions, seeing the place she grew up after so many years. The people she has grown up with.

Daemon stepped out next, standing next to the stairs as you followed. Warm hands around your waist, making sure you didn’t stumble on the delicate wooden steps.

His gaze flicked from you to Rhaenyra, and you nodded, feet touching solid ground. He left you with the children, Jace and Luke following as well as Rhaena. She pressed herself to your side, never one for unfamiliar places.

The door opens, and a lord you do not recognize walks swiftly over to Rhaenyra. He bows, awkwardly, as Jace complains that carrying a baby will ruin his reputation. Rhaena huffs before you can say anything, taking Daenys from him without a word.

“Welcome back, Princess.”

“Lord Caswell.”

—-

taglist:

@wondergal2001 @akiraquote @a-lil-bit-nuts @anginoguera @thatkinkylesgirl1 @stitchattacks @honeypillowsblog @kaloafd @blackhoodlea @softtina @wallace02sblog @tetgod @hotd-fanfic @rxscpctals

[ut-scatteredextension]

I think it's been long overdue for me to talk about what happened to Sans after I promised I would, so, here we are!

When I said I threw him in the Void, I was not lying dgshshf.

Sans had been somewhat involved with the efforts to revive Papyrus after he died. Chara came to him with the idea, and he was the one who provided them with Papyrus' scarf/cape, which was what a lot of his dust had settled in.

Sans wasn't totally on board with the plan and was skeptical that it would work (since, y'know, people who die aren't supposed to come back from that). But a tiny part of him still wanted to have hope that maybe he would get to see his brother again. Ultimately though, Chara's safety was more of a priority to him. Tori'd kill him if he let her kid get hurt on his watch, after all. So, I'd say that he did make some half-hearted attempt to discourage Chara from trying to revive Papyrus, but also didn't actually do anything to stop them when they insisted on going through with it.

As I've said before, Chara had less Determination available to work with compared to Alphys when she did her experiments. Alphys had extracted all of her samples from the human SOULs that had been collected (as mentioned in canon in the True Lab). Those SOULs disappeared after Frisk's battle against Omega Flowey, though, so Chara wasn't able to do the same. They found and used the leftover Determination that Alphys had previously collected, but it wasn't enough. So, from there they had two options to get more:

They extract some from the Amalgamates (not actually an option; the process could be painful, they refuse to harm a monster, absolutely not, no way are they doing this)

They extract some from their own SOUL.

In Chara's mind, there was only one choice.

So, with Sans' hesitant supervision, they hooked themself up to the DT Extraction machine.

However, as I'll get into some other time, Chara's SOUL is massively Fucked Up. Their Determination is pretty much the only thing holding it together.

Y'know, the very same Determination being extracted from them?

So, because the extraction process is basically killing them, they try to RESET on reflex. However, their ability to RESET also depends on the amount of Determination they have. Which they are currently in the process of losing.

This put the timeline in a weird, unnatural state of an incomplete RESET, causing time, space, and reality as a whole to begin tearing itself apart.

Sans intervened at that point, terminating the extraction process early and saving Chara's life as a result. However, his interference forced him to get very close to the source of the space-time disruptions (and thus where the destruction of reality was at its worst). He, unfortunately, got sucked into that whole mess, causing him to get sent to the Void and erasing him from the minds and memory of every living person in the process.

So! Sans got Gaster-ed lmao rip. Though actually, his erasure wasn't as complete as Gaster's was. Gaster got erased from all of existence entirely, whereas Sans has only been erased from his specific timeline (and all the other timeline iterations that branched off after his erasure). He exists outside of time now, watching over the world that he can no longer interact with. If anyone here happens to be familiar with Chrono Trigger, I'd say Sans' situation is somewhere in between Gaster's and Gaspar's. ...Funny how their names are. Fairly similar actually dgssgf

As for the out-of-universe reason why I threw Sans in the Void, it's the best way to make his role as the "game's" narrator work. Being a monster instead of a human, it doesn't make sense for him to have some sort of "soul connection" or something with Trace that Chara had with Frisk and/or the player.

So, he doesn't! But by existing outside of time, space, and the game itself to some extent, he, similarly to Gaster in Deltarune, is aware of and interacts directly with the player. Trace themself doesn't actually know about Sans' presence for most of their adventure. All of the narration and UI stuff is Sans talking to and interacting directly with the player specifically.

[heyiwrotesomethings]

I'm looking at screenshots of Mitsuri from back when I watched season 3 and really who gave this lady the right to be so damn pretty? Especially when she's all mad and protective? Makes me hit the desk. Basically this is a long winded way of saying thank you for putting protective Mitsuri content in your writing 🙏 I read it often.

That makes me think, though, while she doesn't have the bug association like Shinobu does-- Mitsuri actually kinda gives me SM vibes too given her agility and unnatural strength. No Uncle Ben event or anything like that but who says you really need anything like that? ⋅⋅⋅ᴵ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ᵇᵉˢᶦᵈᵉˢ ᵐᶦᵍᵘᵉˡ⋅ So as an idea-- what do you think would happen if poor, poor Y/N found out that not only Shinobu was a Spider-Person, but Mitsuri ended up being a second one as well. I think it'd just about give her a heart attack I reckon. ᴺᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ'ᵈ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵃᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ⋅ ᵀʷᵒ very ᵖʳᵒᵗᵉᶜᵗᶦᵛᵉ ˡᵃᵈᶦᵉˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ˢᵘᵖᵉʳ ˢᵗʳᵉⁿᵍᵗʰˀ ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᴵ'ᵈ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ ᵃᵗᵗᵃᶜᵏ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃ ᵈᶦᶠᶠᵉʳᵉⁿᵗ ʳᵉᵃˢᵒⁿ⋅

Yeee Mitsuri is wonderful! Glad you enjoyed those😊

Yn would probably be like, ‘Really?! Both of you?!’ Probably starts feeling left out. Might start seeing the occasion wayward spider and think that they should see what happens if they poke it a little. They either chicken out or one of the girls’ smacks their hand or pulls them away. Which could be aggravating even as a protective gesture. Yn doesn’t want to be left behind, they want to help too! They’re probably giving Shinobu and Mitsuri just as many heart attacks honestly.

Says they’re going out to pick up some stuff from the grocery store, but then Shinobu and Mitsuri see them on the news getting flown around the city as a villain’s hostage because that so-called trip to get milk was actually an attempt to get intel for Shinobu and Mitsuri. What a mess! But of course the heroines get them back in the end and hey, now they don’t have to wonder about how they were going to catch the villain because they all ready did it! Win! But of course when Yn points that out, they are still met with Shinobu’s glare and Mitsuri’s tears. They’re gonna have a hard time going anywhere without someone coming along or following them from the rooftops for awhile after that.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

I thought about this last night and I just can't get it out of my head so I thought I would share. We know that Joel is 36 when the whole thing starts and Sarah is about 12 (which means Joel became a dad when he was about 24). We also know that Sarah's mother is nowhere to be seen. Now, a few months ago I watched a movie (the lost daughter) and it was basically about 'unnatural mothers' anyway, what if Sarah's mother just...couldn't deal with motherhood? What if she didn't feel that special bond with her child and really, just started hating her life from the moment she became a mom? One day, Joel wakes up, baby Sarah is screaming bloody murder because she's hungry and when he turns around, his wife is gone. He thinks she's downstairs making a bottle but nope, not in the kitchen. He goes to see Sarah, calms her down and feeds her thinking 'maybe she left for a run'. One hour passes, nothing. He gets worried. He calls her cellphone. Nothing. He goes back to their room and that's when he notices the half empty closet. He checks the bathroom. All her stuff. Gone. He has no idea what is going on. They didn't fight, she didn't mention anything. A week later, he gets served divorce papers. He tries to talk to her, get answers but she only talks through her lawyer. Joel is completely lost. He's not even 25 and he has a baby to care for and has no fucking clue how to do it by himself. But he has to because his little girl needs him. So he works as much as he can to give them a comfortable life. He leaves Sarah with the nice old lady in the neighborhood even if it kills him to let her go every morning. He learns how to braid hair. He gets up when she's teething and sick and scared because of a nightmare. He puts his entire life on hold because now, everything revolves around his Sarah. She's all he has (apart from his brother) and the fact that her mom left because she didn't care is hard enough for a child, he would do more than his best so she wouldn't feel the absence too much, so she'd grow up and know she's loved nonetheless. Anyway, made my heart ache to think about a young Joel Miller, suddenly having to raise a baby all by himself, the support he was supposed to have completely vanishing with no explanation. I mean can you imagine? Your partner just leaving because they realize they don't love you or the child you share? Pls give this man a hug :'(

THIS!

Well, motherhood is a scary thing but I just know, I KNOW, that if she would have voiced her worries to Joel he would have gotten her to stay and at least give it a try. He would have been there doing absolutely everything and anything to make sure that she was constantly reminded that she was an amazing mother. That she was never alone. That no matter the thought in her head were saying Joel would always find a way to chase away the demons. Because he is so capable of love. He would have never left her alone.

And you just know that he was the most amazing dad ever to Sarah. Like bet my ass even after the longest shifts he was there having tea parties with her. She wants him to put bows in his hair? You bet he's doing that. She wants to have a little princess dance party? Joel is there spinning around with Sarah in his arms, both in matching tutu skirts. We didn't get to see much of their relationship but I know it was the most beautiful thing ever. I doubted she was worried about telling him anything. Joel might get all flustered at first if she was like to seek him out and ask something about periods or something. But then he would be up late at night, reading about it so he could be there for her.

Joel did an amazing job as a father. Sarah was one special girl. They both deserve nothing but love. Now I'll go cry....

[hanabeeri]

i am forcing myself to finish little women. because aaaah i'm so sad and not satisfied with the way things are ending.

jo is basically like alcott herself in many ways, alcott didn't want her to marry anyone initially, which is fine - but to marry her off to some old man that "tamed" her free spirit is so AAAAAAH frustrating!!! the same if teddy!!! he didn't want to fit into the world that was already set for him, he didn't want any of it and he was still paired up with the one sister that appreciated good manners and the old world more than anything; that quite literally tamed him, too.

burn me on a stake but i will die with the belief that jo and teddy should have been together. if not as a married couple than as lovers to defy societal standards of the times. and i know deep in my heart that they would have fit 😭 ms alcott once i'm dead i'm finding your soul and you will sit through days upon days of my crying because NOOOOOO!!!! if jo really HAD to marry someone it should have been the only man that didn't try to change her!

they deserved so much better. the relationships felt so unnatural and forced. i can get behind the marriage of meg and john, it's sweet and as traditional as it gets. but jo and teddy could have been the complete opposite. and the relationship between them was building up!!!! like you could tell he really liked her from an early point :(((

JO YOU DESERVED BETTER THAN SOME GERMAN OLD MAN 😭😭😭😭😭 she deserved a teddy that would have defied societal expectations and norms, a relationship between them may have been fiery and at times fierce but you can't seriously think that a boy who was set to reach his full potential in his studies to make jo love him, wouldn't have done more to keep the love going? it just doesn't make sense. and maybe, maybe i'm just a little bit misinterpreting and coping (i am ahahaha) but i truly do believe that she would have fallen in love with him for real :( if only he would have tried at a later time when he was more figured out. not tamed, not more mature or nursing. but independent, when he would have realized that he shouldn't have had to impress her in the first place, that she loves people for what they are not for what they try to be 😭

but i do understand that my thinking may be too progressed for the time alcott lived in. perhaps she was forced to alternate a lot of things. but it still doesn't do anything to console my heart :(

anyways. i'll finish the book today. and then i will need some good therapy.

update: therapy won't be enough. I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 why must books hurt me like this, everytime omg 🥹🥹

[sharkblizzardblogs]

Writeblr Interview Tag

Thank you @sableglass for the tag, please feel free to include me in more like this!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

As in which one of those do I write? Novels

What genre do you prefer reading?

For Fiction

Fantasy/Dark Fantasy, Sci Fi, Apocalyptic/Post Apocalyptic, Folk Tales, and a few coming of age stories

For Non Fiction

Plant guides, Artist/animation, Natural History

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Usually a write as I go, though sometimes that sparks the loose idea of a plan…well, more of a list of bullet points anyway.

What music do you listen to while writing?

Lots of stuff from Blue Turtle on youtube. Also a lot of DnD Ambience/WritingAmbience kinds of things and Bridgerton style pop instrumentals, basically anything without lyrics.

Favorite books/movies?

Hmmmm, right now I’d say: The Ocean at the End of the Lane, Bridge to Terabithia, The Poison Study trilogy, Paper Towns, and the Locke and Key graphic novels.

Any current WIPs?

Nowhere to Nowhere, a story about two sisters who walk through a gate while exploring on their camping trip and end up in another dimension, the land of the fae. After meeting a fae cat named Bryn, one sister is kidnapped and the other must work together with their new friend to rescue her. The story is told from the perspective of the cat, Bryn.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

A green sleevless shirt, denim shorts, tennis shoes and glasses

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

I incorporate behaviors from people I know into my writing all the time, sometimes in a positive light and sometimes as a cautionary tale. Do I like it? Yes, I suppose so. It’s therapeutic in any case.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

No. If they die it has to have a specific purpose and I don’t find shock to be that purpose for most of my work.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Neither. I despise tea and coffee makes my heart do unnatural acrobatics.

Slow or fast writer?

Slow writer, if only for the inconsistency. I am chronically busy and so when I find time to write I can easily do a thousand words or more in one setting but finding the time is more difficult than I’d like.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Everything. I’ve always had an expansive imagination and it’s like any other muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets. And of course I use people in my life, and the cats in my life, as inspiration too.

Most fav book cliche:

More of an archetype but The Hero’s Journey or Group of Misfits

Least favorite cliche:

Love at First Sight

Favorite scene to write?

I don’t think I can answer this without an essay.

Reason for writing?

Again, I need an essay here but the short version is:

Analyzing myself and those around me, picking us all apart and restitching us. Explaining what I’ve learned and what’s important to me without writing a memoir. Engaging my imagination and letting it run without bounds.

Tagging: @aziz-reads , @philosophika, @mauvelilywilliams, @faeriecinna

[loetise]

character interview.  ˎˊ˗

basics.

name: valentine "allie" hope fleur. 

nicname/s: allie, al, als, allie cat, allie pie, allie belly, tiny, teeny, little flower, little fairy, little cupid, little dove, dove, little fae, little wing, angel, angel dust, angelfish, doe eyes, starfish, sunshine barbie, mouse, birdie, sweetheart, darling flower, princess, sunflower, fairy baby, ladybug, chickadee, lotus, cupcake, lamb, tinkerbell, pocket fairy, pretty girl.  (yes these are all rp ones and real i made a list of them like 2 years ago)

age: 18 - 22.

species: half-fae / half-human.

personal.

morality: lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true

religion: whatever the fae got goin on.

sins: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath

virtues: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

known languages: english, minimal fae.

secrets:  she really isn't a person with any secrets, and is a very open book besides keeping her full name close to her. she's kind of scared to talk about her trauma in fear of bothering people. at least, she doesn't talk about the trauma that she knows is trauma. she's very frequently dropping concerning information about her childhood without thinking of it.

physical.

build: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average

height: 4′11″

scars / birthmarks: two scars down her back, in line and along her shoulder blades, where wings should be, though she's very insecure about them and she covers them with magic treatment that puts a glamour over them to hide them. she also gets little scabs and bruises a lot because of her clumsiness and frequent time spent in the woods among sharp branches and thick roots. / she has one on her left hip that she swears looks like a heart. (it does not actually look like a heart but you will break her heart if you tell her that, she’s very proud of it.)   

abilities / powers: magic affinity, being able to detect magic without meaning to, affinity for nature, communicating with plants and animals, somewhat unconscious allure, especially to humans (ex: she's harder to refuse, normally very easy to be drawn to in a crowd, unnaturally charming), she has somewhat of a temperature resistance, or at least she has one on feeling alone. (meaning, her body may suffer from the effects of the temperature and her not realize it) she also has a high alcohol tolerance and strong immune system (both due to fae blood as well as her experiences) for human alcohol and human diseases.

restrictions: iron and silver, though she really tries to stray from metal of any kind. iron and silver, specifically, poison her and her skin, making her feel ill and burning her. her senses are heightened and more sensitive than the average human, and while that alone isn't a weakness, allie finds that harsh smells and sounds bother her to a point of almost pain. meat also makes her ill.

favorites.            i'll let you know right now this was a flop. there are hardly any favorites just vibes, she so rarely has favorites.

food: she kinda just loves food and trying new things, there aren't really any flavors that she doesn't like, besides she just doesn't eat meat and actually doesn't enjoy any substitutes that claim to taste like meat. no favorites here i think but she loves fruits and sweets always and forever.

drink: sweet and fruity things <3 again <3.

pizza topping: i don't think she really has favorites for this but she doesn't eat meat, otherwise she likes everything.

color: she loves pastels, and pinks and greens and yellows and oranges and greens and purples and blues. she does not care for red, black or dark colors. 

music genre: she enjoys pop n dream-pop but she'll listen to anything. very much a top 40 girlie by default just because it's what is always on.

book genre: she's not a book girlie 😔

movie genre: rom-com's/chick flicks primarily i imagine, she just loves fun movies. not a big fan of horror movies but she's never Opposed to anything. you will just need to hold her hand. 

curse word: she really doesn't swear. she doesn't even like,, fake swear. 

scents: flowers......

fun stuff.

songs: matilda + harry styles, you're on your own, kid + taylor swift,  wildest dreams + taylor swift, cry baby + melanie martinez, all you wanna do + SIX, aimee atkinson, 13 beaches + lana del rey, sober + p!nk, nonsense + sabrina carpenter, because i liked a boy + sabrina carpenter, hey blondie + dominic fike, what was i made for? + billie eilish, earthangel + the penguins, moonlight + kali uchis

aesthetic: dainty jewelry, friendship bracelets, dancing in the rain, parties, loose curls, hair ribbons, cuddling with your friends, sundresses, kicked off shoes, meadows filled with flowers, fun patterned rolling papers, playful love, barefoot in the grass, colorfully painted fingernails, glitter everywhere, baked goods, forest floors covered in blossoms, intense feelings said casually, holding hands, petting wild animals and cradling them like babies, talking and singing to your plants, lots and lots of kisses, sparkly lipgloss.

sings in the shower: absolutely!

likes puns: yes! she thinks they are so fun and clever and will always laugh. 

tagged by;   stolen <3 from nearly an actual year ago &lt;3 tagging;   you, steal this and say i tagged you!