#but i think!! i settled on it being done behind the scenes maybe the next day or whenever bc that wasnt rlly the point of the fic anymore ?

[seiwas]

the comments/tags on the recent col fic are so so sweet and so lovely 🥺 aaah thank you so much everyone 🥹 i’m so happy you love the col couple as much as i do!! 🫶🏻

[coryndoll]

waking up to you

au!rafe cameron x reader

— in which you wake up in a strange alternate reality that just so happens to be the outer banks universe, and to your disbelief, you’re suddenly in a relationship with the shows most unlikely character, rafe cameron.

warnings: alcohol, swearing, 18+ smut (poorly written), p in v, fingering, orgasm denial / control, praising, impact play, choking, drunk sex, just a bunch of stuff

authors note: guys 😞😞 i havent slept yet n its 8am okay see u today ! xo

previous next

sarah walks over with a few drinks, weaving through the crowd and handing them out like she’s done this a hundred times. she’s balancing a faint smile, her eyes flicking around the backyard as she approaches, as if she’s trying to relax but can’t fully settle.

kiara’s on your other side, and even though the party is in full swing, she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else. her expression is tight, her shoulders hunched like she’s holding back from showing how uncomfortable she is.

you don’t blame her. knowing kiara’s character, it’s not surprising that a rafe cameron party isn’t exactly her scene.

“i tried to find the least threatening drinks in all that crap rafe brought tonight,” sarah says, her voice low as she hands you and kiara cups. the corners of her mouth twitch upward in a forced smile, like she’s joking but there’s truth behind it.

you take your cup, grimacing as you look inside. the liquid sloshes around in the dim light, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of concoction sarah managed to scrounge up from rafe’s wild assortment.

you lean back against the brick half-wall, feeling the cool stone press against your spine. sarah settles in beside you, her shoulder brushing yours, and kiara hoists herself up onto the wall on your other side, holding her drink with one hand, but she doesn’t take a sip. not yet.

the three of you stand there in silence for a moment, and it’s strange—this moment of quiet in the middle of all the chaos—but it also feels grounding. like, for the first time all day, you’re not just a spectator, not just someone on the outside looking in. you’re here, with them. part of their group. part of this world.

you glance around the backyard, watching the laughter, the reckless dancing, the drinks being poured and spilled. it’s wild, a mess in its own way, but there’s a freedom in it too.

in a strange way, it feels like you could belong here. like you could get used to moments like this. parties won’t happen every night, but this sense of connection? that could be something real. something that lasts.

you absently take a sip of your drink, the alcohol burning as it slides down your throat. it’s harsher than you expected, and you wince, trying to shake off the bitterness.

but then something else hits you, something harder. the truth. it slips into your mind like the sting of the alcohol, sharp and undeniable.

you’re leaving after tonight.

the party, the people, the wild energy—it’s all temporary. by the time the sun rises, you’ll be back in your own reality, where none of this exists. where none of these people know you.

you pause, your hand tightening around the cup, your mind wandering as you take another drink. you lean back against the wall, staring at the scene in front of you. it was fun while it lasted, but this isn’t your world. at least not really.

and it hits you. it’s been fun. but not enough.

you pull away from the wall, standing a little taller, turning to face sarah and kiara. they look at you, maybe a little curious about the shift in your expression, the sudden spark in your eyes. you’re not thinking about tomorrow anymore. you’re thinking about right now.

“let’s just get fucked up tonight,” you say, a grin pulling at your lips. because if this is your last night here, if this is the end of your wild, unexpected adventure in this world—then you're going to make the most of it.

sarah grins as soon as the words leave your mouth. her eyes light up with a wild sort of excitement, and she’s immediately on board. “hell yeah. let’s do it,” she says, already for raising her cup and preparing to take a bigger sip.

but when you glance over at kiara, you see the hesitation written all over her face. she’s fidgeting with her drink, her shoulders hunched in that same way, a small, reluctant shrug as she stares down at the liquid.

“i don’t know, guys,” she mutters, “i don’t know.” it’s clear she’s not feeling it, the party vibe or the idea of letting loose like that. but you and sarah? you’re not letting her off that easy.

“come on, kie, it’ll be fun,” you say, your voice soft but insistent, leaning in a little as if coaxing her into something harmless.

sarah jumps in without missing a beat, her energy contagious. “just for tonight!” she adds, almost laughing, because she knows kiara isn’t the type to get wasted or go wild in a place like this, but that’s exactly why she wants her to let go for once.

kiara lets out a small, reluctant laugh, shaking her head slightly, but there’s a spark in her eyes now, like maybe she’s considering it, even if it’s just for a second.

you and sarah exchange a quick look, a knowing glance before you both grab her arms, pulling her along before she can protest any further.

“come on, kie!” you say, laughing as you tug her toward the chaos of the party. sarah’s on the other side, matching your pace, pulling her with the same enthusiasm.

you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or the realization that you don’t have much time left, but either way, you’ve decided. you’re going to squeeze every last drop of fun out of this night, out of this reality, before you have to wake up and leave it all behind.

the music pulses through the backyard, a mix of laughter and shouting that fills the air like a sweet buzz.

you find yourself losing track of time as you drink just enough to let loose, the warmth of the alcohol making everything feel lighter, more carefree. you’re wrapped up in conversations with sarah and kiara, their laughter mingling with yours as you dance together.

as the night wears on, you feel a pair of familiar hands wrap around your waist, spinning you around. it’s rafe. you hardly register his presence at first—too lost in the moment.

without a second thought, he twirls you into his chest effortlessly, and your heart races at the sudden closeness. you barely have time to react before he kisses you deeply.

it’s the kind of kiss that makes you feel like you’re melting into him, as if the rest of the world falls away. the music dims to a low thrum in your ears, and all that exists is the two of you, locked in this moment of heat and urgency.

rafe pulls back slightly, his breath warm against your skin. he lifts his chin and lets out a loud ‘woo!’ that echoes through the party, earning cheers and whoops from those nearby. you can’t help but laugh, caught up in the energy of it all.

he looks down at you, eyebrows furrowing in an adorable mix of confusion and amusement, a smile dancing on his lips, and asks, “how much have you had to drink?”

in your tipsy state, you hold up a couple of fingers, a crooked smile spreading across your face.

“that’s my girl,” he says, taking your hand and leading you toward the side of the house. the party fades into the background as he guides you upstairs, taking you to a patio that’s off-limits to the rest of the guests.

the air feels different up here—cooler, more intimate. the view of the party below is mesmerizing, with colored lights twinkling against the dark sky, laughter drifting up like smoke.

rafe stands beside you, practically holding court with his girl by his side, completely at ease in this secret space. he leans against the railing, one arm casually draped around your shoulders as you both look out over the night, the chaos of the party a distant memory.

it’s just you and rafe, lost in the moment, enjoying the night and everything it has to offer.

his lips are working furiously on yours as he lays you down on the bed, a soft groan escaping his throat that fills you with desire. you feel weak against him, his body naturally playing rough with you as he kisses you deeper.

his hands roam your body, his thumbs brushing over the sides of your breasts, pausing to cup them in his large hands as his tongue slips into your mouth, his fingers finding your hardened peaks to trace over them gently. his other hand moves lower, caressing your stomach and hips.

you’re blitzed and needy for him, your hips bucking up against his hand instinctively, pleading for some pressure.

he chuckles against your mouth, breaking the kiss only to trail his lips down to your neck, his fingers lightly dancing over your inner thighs, tauntingly close to where you want them most.

his touch is addicting. his fingers continue their path until they’re buried between your soaked panties and your skin. he groans at the warmth and wetness he finds, his thumb pressing against your clit as his fingers start to rub slow, gentle circles over it.

you whimper softly as your back arches, chest pressed into his. learning down, rafe kisses your neck, his breath hot on your skin as he whispers into your ear.

“eyes on me, baby,” his voice is low, husky, demanding. your gaze is pinpointed on him, despite how difficult it is to keep them open. they flutter shut when he increases the speed of his touch, his own breath hitching as you writhe against his hand. “that’s it, look at me.”

his fingers continue their relentless pace, drawing out your release as he watches you with heavy lids as you come down, his own hardness straining painfully against his jeans.

as you cry out his name, he covers your mouth with his own, swallowing your moans and whimpers as your body convulses against him, his fingers continuing to work through it. he grins against your lips, his pride swelling as your release coats his fingers. he’s so proud of you.

as your body finally stills, he pulls his fingers free from your folds and brings them to his mouth, licking them clean.

his hands move to your hips to flip you over so you’re on your hands and knees, and swiftly discards the rest of his own clothes. when he returns the spotlight, he groans at the sight of you, your ass high in the air, presenting yourself to him.

hie hand comes down hard on your right cheek, leaving a red handprint. “such a good girl,” he murmurs, rubbing the sting away before doing the same to the left cheek, each spank leaving you gasping and gripping the sheets harder than you were before.

he takes a moment to admire the view, his large hands kneading the soft flesh of your ass. “you look so good like this, baby,” he tells you, giving a cheek one last sharp smack before hooking his fingers around your underwear and roughly tugging them down.

his hands return to your hips, his body crowding yours as he leans over your back, his hardness pressing against your still core. he nuzzles his face into your neck, his breath hot and heavy on your skin as he wastes no time, slowly entering you. he’s big, intoxicated, and absolutely hungry for you.

he hisses a breath through his teeth as he fully sheaths himself inside you, his hands gripping your hips tightly. “so perfect for me, hmph?” he says, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he starts to thrust in earnest. he knows he’s not being gentle, but he also knows that you can take it.

his hips snap against your ass with a punishing rhythm. he reaches around to grab your throat, his fingers closing around it like a vice as he chokes you gently.

“my perfect girl,” he whispers, his adams apple bobbing as he swallows thickly, listening to the pleasuring sound of your broken moans. he pulls out suddenly, his thick member slapping against your pussy before he grips your hip tightly and slams back in.

he hisses, his hips bucking forward, his movements becoming more frantic. his hands dig into your flesh as he speeds up, the sound of wet flesh slapping against flesh filling the room. he’s merciless, each thrust meant to claim, to own, to mark. he grunts with every snap of his hips.

at some point, his thrusts become shallower but equally brutal, hitting a spot that makes you wail. he grins.

just when you feel your orgasm building already, it’s like he reads you like a book. rafe abruptly pulls out and flips you onto your back, pushing your legs up and out as he slams back in. he leans over, his chest pressed to yours.

he’s relentless; you’re learning this. with you, you’re like his prey. and he makes all the right noises to drive you over the edge.

“please,” you whine, your head collapsing back against the pillow. “can i please cum? please?”

his hips jerking forward in short, sharp thrusts. “not . . not yet. you can cum when i say you can,” he hisses, his voice laced with dominance. “you can take it, can’t you, baby? for me?”

you hold out for as long as you can but he doesn’t make it easy. tears brim your eyes at the frustration, at the stimulation that’s clouding your mind. all you can think is him. end the night with him.

“i’m not done with you yet,” he tells you, his face contorted with pleasure as he continues to thrust into you. he reaches down and wraps your legs around his waist, tilting his hips to hit that spot inside you that makes you see stars. “wanna fill you up with my cum. make you pregnant.”

“‘m gonna cum,” you cry, and his hips jackhammer as he feels your body clench around him.

he can already feel himself itching for release, just like you. who is he to deny his own? “cum for me. show me how much you love me, baby,” he groans, his voice strained with passion.

his face contorts with pleasure as he feels you clamp around his cock, his rhythm growing erratic as he finds his own release. he lets out a guttural shout, his body growing heavy as he cums inside of you.

you lift your head off the pillow and look down between your warm bodies. rafe reaches for your jaw and presses his lips hungrily to yours—to taste you and to reward you for being so good to him. when he pulls away, he’s breathless, lifting off of you.

his hands cascade down your thighs until he’s gripping the flesh of your hips, pulling his own back, then forward into you. it’s slow, gentle, until he’s withdrawing completely. his cock springs free, attached to it a mere string of cum, a mix of both of yours.

then he’s off, retrieving some tissues from his bedside while you lay in the middle of the bed, fucked out, bruised, but in an unexpected way, relieved.

you hear the crinkle of tissues as he pulls you to the edge of the bed and wipes both of you clean. he tosses the used tissues into the trash without much care before collapsing back into bed, pulling you into him. his arm wraps tight around your waist, almost possessive, like he’s afraid to let go, even in sleep.

you lie there, listening to the soft sound of his snores. his face is peaceful now, so different from the chaos he usually carries. it feels strange seeing him this way—vulnerable, calm, and completely at ease with you. you should feel the same, but your mind keeps spinning.

it’s hard not to think about the day, about everything that’s happened.

just this morning, you woke up in a world you’d only ever seen on tv, a universe that wasn’t yours but one you’ve somehow slipped into. and despite everything, it’s been . . . nice. spending the day with rafe, with sarah, kiara, and even the rest of them. living in their world, even if it was only temporary.

you take a deep breath, staring at rafe as your thoughts drift. it feels like a once-in-a-lifetime experience, something gifted to you without explanation. one day to live among them, to see what it’s like.

you lie there for a while longer, watching as his chest rises and falls with each breath. his face is so peaceful.

before you realize it, you’re leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. your lips linger for a moment longer than you mean to. when you pull back, you watch him again, his face still unchanged, lost in whatever dream he’s in.

you whisper, “thank you.” a parting phrase that feels like a goodbye, and it essentially is. because deep down, you know this isn’t your world. it was never supposed to last more than a day, and as much as you’ve loved it, as much as you’ve found comfort here, you know it’s time to go.

with a sigh, you finally decide to call it a night.

you slip under the covers, pulling them tight around your body. rafe’s arm is still around your waist, holding you close. you let yourself settle into his embrace, his body pressed against yours.

it’s almost too easy, too natural, the way you cling to him, letting your head rest on his chest as you begin to drift off. your thoughts blur, and soon enough, sleep overtakes you.

@v2los @cosmixstar @meeuhsworld @httpsdrewstarkey @lovdrew @lilithblackkk @rovckwells @cherrylooney @iissza @namelesslosers @cocolovey @rafeyswrd @odairtrqsh @gretag13 @vivian-555 @lunaleah @smol-coffee-addict @twinge-vix @behindviolettwrites @avngrssckr @stonerroadbull @cali-888 @coquettajob @simpingcorner @nymphetkoo @pinkpantheris @ilyrafe @romaescapes @cold-soup1223 @inaluvrsworld @rafesweetie @faephoria @solo-pitstop-vibes @my-fabulousness-has-arrived @drewsephrry @sgecorrow @ravisinghs-wife @booksntings @tinyfairies

jk ! when you wake up, the first thing you notice is the light—bright and clear, filling the room. you blink, your eyes fluttering open slowly, though your head throbs with the weight of a . . . hangover? this stuff really spreads to the real world.

the faint smell of something familiar, lingers in the air. groggy and confused, you try to shake the fog in your mind, rubbing your eyes before looking around your apartment.

and then it hits you. rafe is still in bed with you. and this isn’t your apartment, this is still the camerons house.

his arm is still wrapped around you, his body still beside yours. your heart skips a beat, confusion quickly flooding your chest. this isn’t how it was supposed to go. you were supposed to wake up in your own world, in your own bed. this isn’t real.

another day?

you sit up suddenly, your breath catching in your throat as you check your body, running your hands along your arms, your chest, your legs, feeling for anything that might seem off. but it all feels real. your skin, your muscles, the headache—it’s all real.

your eyes go wide as you look around the room, trying to make sense of what’s happening. the bed, the walls, everything is just as it was last night. rafe is still asleep beside you and your mind races, struggling to grasp the reality of the situation.

you didn’t wake up in the real world. you’re still here.

a/n: HASHTAG L O L (guys i panicked how do u explain the twist that y/n is gonna be in this alternate reality withour sounding corny). post-credits scene ahh ending 😭

[zigrethsnotebook]

[INVERTED KISS]

Bill x Reader

words: 864

tags: sfw, Bill developed a crush on you and hates it

a/n: sort of a continuation of [FOOT KISS] but not really important

“Sparky~!” The demon called out the pet name he had chosen for you and your stomach dropped. This couldn’t be anything good. Bill appeared in front of you, his body shrinking to a smaller version of him, smaller than you even. You furrowed your brows in confusion - he’d never done that before.

“All my maniacs are out for the next couple of hours, so we’re all alone… do you know what that means?” You shook your head ‘no’. His tone was more playful than usual, he seemed to be in a good mood. Still, it was hard to agree with him that you were ‘alone’ considering the literal mountain of people behind him he had sculpted into a throne.

“Hmm…,” he pretended to be thinking, tapping his index finger to where a chin might be. “Well, I’ve been browsing through your mind while you were sleeping-” Oh, god. He can do that? Your blood ran cold at the thought. “-and I saw that you were really into this spider-man guy when his movies came out.”

Your eyes widened. If he knew that then he also knew how much you were afraid of spiders - the animal. Internally, you begged that he wouldn’t cover you in spiders or something like that, just to laugh at you. His one eye never left your face, always scanning for every little reaction to his words. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Either way, I decided we should recreate that scene you daydreamed about so often! Wouldn’t that be fun?” Before you could protest or even process his words, he had already snapped his fingers, conjuring two new chains that wrapped around your ankles and lifted you up into the air. A yelp escaped your lips at the sudden movement and you heard Bill chuckle.

Once your body had settled in the air you realized what he was suggesting. “Wait. The kiss?” The demon flew up to your face, locking eyes with you. “Was there a different scene you daydreamed about? Maybe I should take another look…” He floated a little closer and you gasped. “No!” Bill chuckled, floating backwards a couple of inches. “Yeah, I’m just messing with ya, Sparky.”

You sighed in relief, already feeling a little feeble form hanging upside down. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to kiss ya.” “What? Why?” And exactly how was he planning to do that without a mouth? “Because! You humans! Are always going on and on about kissing and being in love and all that nonsense. And I… I want to know what I’m rejecting.”

He… frowned? Bill seemed disheartened somehow. Was he serious? “Why me?” The words left your lips before you could think better of it. He locked eyes with you again. “Because you’re the only human who’s any fun to be around,” he admitted in a quieter tone. A blush formed on your cheeks. Must be because you’ve been hanging upside down for so long, with all your blood running to your head, you decided.

“So I… I mean it’s not like I care what you want or don’t want or whatever,” he argued, clearly trying to come to terms with wanting this himself. “But, like… can I?” His voice was so quiet, you almost didn’t catch it over the sound of your ears buzzing. This time there was no denying why you were blushing. How were you falling for him? He’s a demon!!

“Yes.” You breathed the word but Bill’s eye widened immediately. He floated closer to you again, his eye turning into a mouth in a horrific transformation that would surely come back to haunt you. When it had fully transformed, aside from his eyelashes that were still attached to his lips (which would surely make this even weirder) he began closing the gap between you two.

Bill’s eyelashes-turned-beard(?) lightly grazed your lips causing you to gasp. His little bowtie was touching the tip of your nose. It was so much weirder than you’d thought it would be. But, if only for the sake of not passing out from hanging upside down, you also wanted this to be over as quickly as possible.

His hands were surprisingly soft against your jaw as he guided your face towards his. When your lips met you felt a tingling sensation in them, and you didn’t care to find out whether you were imagining it or he was doing that on purpose.

You sighed into the kiss. Against your better judgment, you were enjoying this. It was a nice change of pace from the chaos that surrounded you every day. Right now, it was only your lips against his, with fine hairs tickling your chin and too much blood in your head to think straight.

When Bill broke the kiss you kept your eyes closed a second longer, so you wouldn’t have to see the transformation again, and totally not because the kiss had left you slightly dizzy.

Without another word he slowly and carefully brought you back on the ground, right side up and all. The chains on your ankles vanished and so did Bill. You didn’t see him again for the rest of the day.

[coneyislandbabey]

well, my boyfriend's in a band. -> e.roundtree

WARNINGS: maybe some profanities

SYNOPSIS: Nobody thinks the thing between you and Eddie can be as pure and real as you say it is. word count: 1,323

NOTES: written for this request!

A lot of people talked about you and Eddie, now that you were publicly together, but none of them knew what they were saying. They spun the story like it was as old as time, unchangeable, inevitable, as sure a disaster as whatever or whoever they were comparing you to in the moment. Him, a rockstar, high on the enormous tide of fame and cocaine, a man who could have anything in the world at the snap of his fingers. You, a couple of years younger, elusive writer from the Los Angeles scene, enigmatic partier– naïve, obviously getting taken for a ride.

It never occurred to any of them that a man like Eddie Roundtree could be truly, inescapably gone for you. Why devote yourself to one girl when you could have as many as you wanted at any time? People had been asking that question about Billy Dunne for the Six’s entire career, and they couldn’t believe another band member was making the same ‘mistake’. Fame should mean freedom. As if getting to give your all to someone and receive their all in return wasn’t a kind of freedom in of itself.  

Let them talk. What difference did it make to you? 

When you stepped onto the tour bus, the afterparty was already in full swing. You hadn’t been able to catch the show because your flight had gotten in too late, but it didn’t matter; you’d be joining Eddie on tour for the next few months, so you had plenty of shows in your future. All you cared about was getting to your man. You located him sitting on the far corner of the couch, squished in with Graham and Warren and Warren’s girl of the night. You had spotted him before he spotted you, and you took a moment to take in the face you hadn’t been able to see since the tour started. His warm brown eyes crinkled in laughter, the sweep of his burnt sugar hair over his forehead. He was so beautiful it made your breath catch every time you allowed yourself to drink him in like that. 

“(y/n)!” Warren shouted, being the one to notice you first in the fray of the party, pointing to you with one long finger as if the shout wasn’t enough. Eddie’s head whipped around, and his mouth stretched into the widest grin at the sight of you. You returned the smile with your own, squeezing through the small, packed crowd until you landed right in his lap. 

Eddie’s arms instantly went around your waist, hands settling warm and solid on your lower back. Yours went loosely around his shoulders, your head dipping down to a well-received kiss. His eyes were bloodshot and he was half gone to whatever booze and drugs he’d done already, but even through the haze of inebriation they were settled on you. 

“You’re here, I can breathe again,” he said, voice lazy. He was leaned all the way back, head resting on the window behind him, like it was the first time his body had been able to relax in weeks. You lifted your palm to his cheek, rubbing your thumb gently along his lower lip, curved up in that little smirk of his. 

You bent your face close to him so that only he could hear you. “Missed you, too, baby boy.”

Eddie leaned over the side of the couch, and when he came back up he was holding his lighter– red, engraved with his name in gold, a gift from you shortly after you had started dating– and a joint. He lifted the joint and you took it in your lips, he grabbed your chin and held your face gently with his guitar-calloused fingers as he lit it for you. You took a long drag, exhaling only after the joint was between Eddie’s lips. 

Eddie’s hands went back to your waist, skimming up beneath your shirt and skating across your spine. The whole time he’d been away and you’d been stuck in Los Angeles without him, you’d felt unmoored, but you hadn’t realized the extent of it until you were finally back in his arms, back with your anchor. This was where you were meant to be, and Eddie felt that just as much as you did. 

The next night, you stood in the wings with Rod watching the band play. They were all mesmerizing in their own ways, especially, of course, Daisy and Billy singing together, but your eyes never left Eddie. He always exuded confidence, but never more so than when he was onstage, and it was intoxicating to see. He wore that cocky smirk on his face, the one that either made you want to smack him or kiss him and nothing in between, his body moving as one with the bass. He’d never wanted to play the instrument, you knew, but god did he play it like it had been made specifically for him. 

Any chance he got, his eyes were on you, even onstage, even in the middle of a song. As the song came to an end, he caught your eye for the hundredth time that night, bringing his hand to his mouth and blowing a kiss into the wings for you. You laughed, pretending to catch it and press it to your heart, making him grin before he had to turn away and start playing the next song. 

“That guy’s got it fuckin’ bad for you, huh,” Rod observed, and you snorted. 

“Mm, he better,” you nodded. 

Eddie made a beeline for you as soon as the show was over, shedding his bass on the way and scooping you up in his arms. You squeezed him tightly, laughing as he picked you up off the floor and spun you around. When he set you back down on the ground, you grabbed his face and kissed him, skin warm from the lights and exertion everywhere you touched, hair sweaty where your fingers tangled with it at the nape of his neck. 

“You were enthralling,” you told him once you had pulled away. 

“That was my best show so far,” he said, “Had to pull out all the stops because I knew my girl was watching.”

“Well, you really blew me away,” you laughed. “But you blow me away every time, you always will.” 

You two skipped the afterparty that night, instead heading straight to Eddie’s hotel room. You needed just each other, alone, away from the hecticness of tour. You wanted Eddie all to yourself, you always did, and Eddie would give you as much of himself as he could at every chance, just as you did for him. That’s why you found him so easy to love; he knew what you needed from him, and was nearly tripping over himself to give it to you. 

The next morning, you were in a diner with Eddie catching a quick breakfast before the buses had to leave. Your eyes scanned the newspaper rack in boredom as you waited for your food, and your mouth drew up into a smirk as you spotted something familiar. 

You grabbed the tabloid and turned, showing it to Eddie. On the front was a photo of him on stage from the night before, eyes turned towards the wings, hand extended mid-gesture as he blew you a kiss. A smaller photo was superimposed in the corner, catching the two of you walking out of the venue later that night, your arm looped through the crook of his elbow as you walked back to the hotel. The headline was something invasive and completely false about your relationship, but you ignored it. 

“They love to talk about us,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“These pictures are pretty good, actually,” Eddie said, grabbing the tabloid to get a better look. “I should get in touch with them and ask if I can have some copies of ‘em.”

tag list: @eonnyx

[lewis-winters]

Hiii you’re like the person I trust the most to give me band of brothers analysis lol so I wanted to ask about the tension between dick and lew in crossroads. I’m not sure if I’m misinterpreting it or if I missed out on an important detail but the whole interaction where moose and lew go bug dick while he’s writing up his reports confuses me. I get Dick doesn’t want to be behind a desk and wants to be leading easy company again but once moose leaves it looks to me as though dicks’ question about the intelligence being any good ticks him off, prompting him to make the comment about the bacon sandwiches. Do you mind sharing what you think is going on between them here? Both canonically and your interpretation

Sure!

Canonically: Lew is ticked off because he's S2. Intelligence is literally his whole job, and Dick is questioning how well he's done it.

My interpretation (which is largely informed by canonical interpretation): some of the tension of this scene is definitely because Moose is handling the company now, and Dick is stuck behind a desk. You're correct on that one. I think it's a little exacerbated by Lew coming in and making jokes about it-- which is quite an anomaly, since we've seen Dick laugh at Lew's jokes before, even if they're at his expense. But even when you bear that in mind, he's not REALLY that annoyed at Nix yet. He snarks at him a bit, but other than that, he's really just sulky. He'd been bared from the details of almost everything but logistics, and on top of that is having to write a report he really doesn't want to write. Furthermore, he's annoyed at the learning curve of being behind the desk-- you could see it with his discomfort with the aide assigned to him, and with how Zielinski has to hover over him and teach him where to sign or where to write etc (though that's later in the episode). Our poor Richard is a jock, through and through. I'm willing to bet he'd rather be outside using his body instead of waiting behind a desk. But, bless him, he's taking it in stride and really just pouting.

Then, he changes his tune when he finds out Moose is leading the company out on Operation Pegasus. He becomes MORE anxious. He forgets what he's sulking about and immediately starts talking strategy. Those are his boys! He wants to look out for his boys!

And Nix can tell. You can see his face falls when Dick starts asking after times and places. So, he goes over there and tries to calm him while also rescuing Moose from Dick being too overbearing.

AND THEN Dick asks after the integrity of the intelligence Nix has.

Remember how, in the battle prior, on the titular Crossroads, they ran into a whole-ass company of SS? That could, arguably, be Lew's fault. It's his job, as Intelligence Officer (that's what S2 is-- though irl it's kinda conflicting because some sources say he was S3 around this time, not S2, but in the show he is, so we'll talk about that) to KNOW what's there, right? So he could warn the platoon walking into a battle that what they're facing isn't just another platoon, but a whole company.

But here's the thing: I only said arguably. In reality, sometimes intelligence is just wrong.

Other times, intelligence expires. Maybe Lew knew that it was just a platoon the day before, right before Alley and co. were attacked (evidence: Tab knew what was beyond the crest of the hill when Dick asked him, meaning that there was a briefing amongst the NCOs that happened about the lay of the land before they settled in that place-- Nix would've lead that, as S2), but come morning of the next day, he didn't know that said platoon had called for backup, and are now a company. Other other times, maybe there's no intelligence at all, and they all have to make do with expired intelligence. That's just one way things could've gone wrong.

Dick knows that. Lew knows that. There is a margin of error in intelligence that should be accounted for.

But I'm willing to bet Lew feels guilty about it, anyway, so he gets a little defensive; "I think it's pretty good." And then when Dick presses, he goes right for the kill, and hits a sore spot; "Why don't you ask Moose when he comes back?" and even when Dick STILL presses, though little more gently, with; "tell me if anything goes wrong," Lew bites back still; "yeah tell me if you see any bacon sandiwches [that I asked your orderly for]."

Which is him effectively telling Dick to mind his own business-- which is. Behind a desk and with Zielinski.

That being said, I don't think asking after the integrity of Lew's intelligence is bad or malicious because the lack of it DID lead to the previous blindsiding of Dick's platoon. He really is just worried about Easy. And I don't think Lew getting defensive about the intelligence is bad, either-- intelligence is SO fickle, you have no idea. Especially in an active warzone. You will get things wrong sometimes, and people will blame you. No use rubbing it in.

But also? Dick chose to charge into said company with NO new intelligence at all. Like. Richard. Dick. You came up with that attack on the fly. Were you even in communication with Nix while you were doing it? George is literally right there with the radio, Richard, did you ASK him????) I know the show paints that attack as necessary and also a success, but if you read Parachute Infantry, David Webster thought that attack was risky and uninformed. It makes you think, ya know? Biases, biases.

^^ THAT is most definitely for a whole separate post lmaoooo

Anyway. TL;DR: I think Lew was a little ashamed and guilty about not having had the intelligence Dick needed on hand (to know that he isn't running headfirst into a company of SS) before and got a little defensive when Dick brought it up. So he drops the jokey façade for a minute and does his own lashing out (to the extent that he allows himself to lash out at Dick, anyway-- which, btw? we need to talk about bc the way Dick lashes out at Nix is VERY different to how Nix lashes out at Dick and it's so INTERESTING).

They both apologize, though. Non-verbally, at least, when Nix comes back up for the VAT69 and Dick allows him. Mm. Love Winnix. Love when they say so much shit but never anything they actually mean. Kings of passive aggression and double entendre. Love that for them.

shameless plug: if you like meta posts check out my #bob meta tag for all your meta needs!

[sarawritestories]

Oh Hello

Hello, Lovelies!

It's been a while I have had, an influx of people asking about updates for series, and life and making sure I'm okay and I just want to come one here and say. THANK YOU. You all are truly so sweet and kind and supportive and the DM's and the asks have really filled my cup.

Seriously in January when I started if you would have told me I would be sitting here writing to people who are itching to read more of my writing I would have laughed and been like, these little stories that are un-edited and riddled with errors. But here we are and I'm so happy you are all here.

Here is a much needed updated (I am aware no one is obligated to one but we're all friends here and I'll be giving updates for future works.)

A Life Update

So what's going on in the next few months you may ask?

I move in 6 days and my Apartment looks like we haven't touched it. A big chunk of packing will get done this weekend, but it's a tad bit stressful.

That being said in two months, I get married! Which is exciting and I have talked about it before. But we are so close I'm getting excited!

I think when Halloween comes around I'm not going to know what to do with myself not having anything to plan or do (Besides looking for a new job closer to my new home).

Writing Update

As life is going on even though I haven't been posting, and I have been hit with the biggest slump I've had (Reading , writing, drawing, I was having none of it).

However, I have still been plotting and writing behind the scenes! Though my brain has been consumed with a novel idea that I'm working diligently to pursue and write from beginning to end.

But Sara what about Unwavering Presence? All Too Well? I Wanna Be Yours?

I'm so glad you asked!

All of my series at the moment are on a brief hiatus. I love these characters so deeply that when I continue their story I don't want it to feel forced, or like I was rushing to get it done. Their stories deserve to be told in the way I want them to with care and love. Once my life starts to settle I'll get back into the throes of it!

Now There are some one shots that people want sequels for, or The Dark Side of Prythian series and the Mermaid series I promised and I they will come. But my brain can really only operate on 1000 words stories maybe 2000 if I'm lucky. So as you all have already have been so patient with me. I ask for just a little more for my life to settle as I'm making some big life changes and moving into this new and exciting phase of life with the person I love the most and our four legged companion!

As inspiration strikes I will post one shots, because I am not going anywhere and if you want to say hi feel free! I love yapping!

Alright, I am going to end this updated with this.

Thank you to my Mutuals, anons, and new friends, for being so kind and checking in on me. Most importantly thank you for giving my stories and my characters a chance and reminding me that I am at my a core a dreamer.

XOXO Sara

[thespiritssaidso]

Movie Night

Summary: Shawn loves watching movies at Lassiter’s house, always at night. Usually, Shawn leaves once it’s over to go back to his apartment. This night is different, however. 

Notes: Had this idea for a while, lol. Enjoy!

Also, I’ve been falling behind and I think I might be getting slightly overwhelmed. I think I’ll just go ahead an finish up to day 19 and call it quits. Sorry guys

Flufftober day 17: Only One Bed

—————

Lassiter sat on his couch facing the tv, one arm slung comfortably over Shawn’s shoulders. A bowl of popcorn settled in his lap, considerably less full than it had been at least an hour ago. No thanks to the detective. He took a few nibbles of it here and there, but didn’t risk any more. Too much salt would’ve been bad for his already questionable blood pressure (being a cop had its cons, not so surprisingly. 

Shawn was nestled cozily next to Lassiter, all of his weight practically boring into his boyfriend’s side – not that Lassiter was complaining, he liked the pressure. He had been taking huge handfuls of popcorn and shoving them in his mouth every five minutes. 

Currently, the movie playing was Back To the Future, at Shawn’s insistence. They had just gotten to the scene where Marty had to play the guitar part for the song ‘Earth Angel’ so his parents would get together. At first Lassiter had objected to the movie. But after a good fifteen minutes of disagreement, he caved to Shawn’s request. 

Lassiter stealthily checked his watch to see what time it was. 12:52 a.m. It was getting pretty late. Normally they’d be done by now, but Shawn had come in later than normal — something about Gus, Lassiter couldn’t remember — and had taken forever to pick the movie that they had bickered over. 

He wasn’t sure why, but Lassiter didn’t feel like it was right to just send Shawn off so late in the night. Which was weird, considering they were both grown-ass men. But he couldn’t shake the feeling. Maybe he just wanted him to stay the night. 

But that would be a big step in their relationship. A step that Lassiter was most certainly ready for, but he didn’t know if Shawn was as well. The psychic was unpredictable, jumping headfirst into some situations while hesitant about others. 

It was something Lassiter noticed about Shawn. He could be so impulsive, throwing caution to the wind. And yet… so tentative when it came to something big or important. 

So he did his best to be patient, keeping himself from trying to rush his boyfriend. It was difficult, but Lassiter was managing. 

He was startled out of his thoughts when Shawn, without looking away from the screen, said “Hey, Carly.” 

Lassiter hummed in response. 

“What’s for breakfast tomorrow?” 

Such a simple question. A simple question with so much meaning behind it. Breakfast meant waking up here, at his house. And that meant he would have to spend the night, at his house.

Lassiter could practically feel his heart beat faster. He wanted to stay. Stay here and sleep here and wake up here and eat breakfast here. 

He blinked, and answered, “Uhm… eggs. And toast.” 

“And coffee?” 

“…Yeah, I’ll brew a pot.” 

“Cool.” Shawn snuggled deeper into Lassiter’s side, if that was possible. 

Silence, save for the sound of squealing tires and a roaring engine coming from the TV as Marty gunned it down the road. Then- 

“I don’t have a guest bed.” 

A big grin on Shawn’s face grew instantly. “Ooo, so there’s only one bed.”  

Lassiter rolled his eyes, even though he knew Shawn would see it. “Well I might just make you sleep on the couch-”

“You wouldn’t!” 

“Do you want to find out?” 

Shawn mock-grumbled. “Noooo.” 

———

It was definitely well past midnight now, and Shawn and Lassiter were both cuddled up under the sheets of the king-sized bed. The detective had offered a pair of his pajamas to his boyfriend and was immediately taken up on it. 

Shawn himself was out cold, passing out almost the second his head hit the pillow. 

Lassiter was still awake. It took a lot longer for him to actually fall asleep. He had no idea how Shawn had done it. If he was in a different bed than he was used to, it would’ve taken him at least an hour to simply familiarize himself with the new setup. 

Looking over at the fast asleep Shawn, Lassiter took in the vision of him wearing plaid flannel pajamas. His pajamas. And he didn’t mind. In fact, he loved how Shawn looked wearing them, all cozy and the like. 

Quietly, Lassiter turned over, allowing himself to be the little spoon, and fell asleep, the feeling of Shawn’s arms wrapped around him comforting him.

—————

Notes: suuuuper duper short this time, but it’s whatever. Next one shall be longer, I promise <3

ao3 link

[movedto-mrs-bluemarine]

So. That super blue moon last night huh

zhdfygji I STARTED THIS LIKE THIRTY MINUTES AGO!!! V HAPPY TO HAVE IT DONE IN ONE SITTING (IT'S ONLY 450 WORDS! gets shot) anyway who's hungry for JUPIDONNY

Divider credits!

It was an amazing sight, getting to sit outside of the Black Bull’s HQ on a crystal clear night, with none of Jupiter's beloved squad mates to interrupt the serene scene.

Behind the base, she was given the perfect position to see the full moon. No trees, no clouds, nothing to block its beauty, her gentle light shining down on the redhead, kissing her face so tenderly. It was nights like this that made Jupiter feel positively blessed for getting to experience it.

She closed her grey eyes, taking a deep breath of the pure night air, and let it back out. Her dulled ears didn't pick up on the sound of boots against the rocky walkway, and Jupiter wasn't aware of her company until her eyes opened again, being treated with a bloodred gaze. Gordon waited until her eyes were entirely open, black lips parting to speak as he slightly crouched down in front of her.

“Wonderful night, isn't it?”

Seeing her best friend, Jupiter gave him a goofy grin, acting like another new beam of light. “Yeah, it is!” She was interested to see him awake so late. Normally Gordon was very punctual with his sleep schedule, but she was excited that he was here, nonetheless.

She patted the ground, and Gordon quickly settled down next to her, knees pulled to his chest. He watched the sky with her. The moon kissed his pale skin, giving him an otherworldly glow. Jupiter wished she had the words to describe seeing him like this. To explain it the best she could, Gordon looked just plain pretty. Her attention was taken off the moon, now she was itching to read whatever words left his mouth next.

“It's incredible. I've never seen the moon shine so bright.” His soft voice didn't dare to even disrupt the air around him.

The redhead’s grind stretched even wider. “Me neither! I can't believe no one else wanted to stay out to watch it!” Jupiter's voice had the opposite effect.

But… maybe it was for the best that it was just the two of them. Jupiter allowed herself to be greedy, if just this once. Tonight, the moon would shine for just her and her Donny. “It's so pretty tonight…”

This time, Gordon looked away to watch her. The moon was highlighting the color of her eyes, looking like they were glowing in their sockets. They shone silver, sparkling in amazement at the beauty of nature. Nothing like he'd ever seen before.

“Yes… it is.” But Gordon wasn't sure if he was even thinking about nature when he said it.

Jupiter didn't get to see what he said that time, only hearing the soft, sweet murmur of his voice. An arm slipped around her shoulders, and she allowed him to softly pull her against his side, enjoying his warmth, letting it wrap around her like a comforting blanket, fighting away the crisp night air.

[screeblees]

Hiii! I absolutely love reading your stuff and I especially love the angry!yandere drabble too! I do have a question though if you don’t mind answering, if by some miracle mc had escaped and managed to get back to their home, what would angry!yandere do/how would he react?

Anyways I l I’ve your work and keep up the good work but don’t stress yourself too much hun, thanks☺️

Hii! Ahh thank you so much!! Thank you for the question, I love receiving them! (Though I’m always nervous about whether it meets what the asker is thinking.) 

Link to Angry ! Yandere headcanons here !

Sorry it took so long to answer! I’ve been swamped with work irl :(

Find my Masterlist here !

Please enjoy!!<33

To set the scene; Reader somehow managed to escape despite the extensive measures and being in a furnished basement, and Angry ! Yandere was out of the house, studying or working.

Angry ! Yandere’s initial thought would be that you’re hiding, which is incredibly disrespectful of you to continue to do after he repeatedly calls for you and tell you he isn’t in the mood for playing “hide and seek”.

He finds this irritable and begins searching for you. Stomping slightly, shoving pillows and blankets and such out of the way, gradually almost ripping cupboard and wardrobe doors off of their hinges and slamming them shut behind him in frustration because where the fuck could you be hiding?! Maybe he finds evidence of your escape such as an open window or a stool placed near one thats against the ceiling, something alike and realises that you’re gone. 

He’s sent spiralling at the thought, for once his rage isn’t purely spurred on by anger or irritation; but raw fear. 

He is shaking violently, barely able to contain the overwhelming amount of emotion coursing through him, but despite his unsound mind Angry ! Yandere manages to decide on a course of action and begins breaking, entering and searching the full range of places he suspects you might have wandered off to; your old home, your “friends’”homes, the local police station and hospital, your place of work and/or school, anywhere and everywhere else you may frequent - and of course he’ll threaten and beat anyone in his way, using his hysterically unhinged demeanour to emphasise his usual intimidation, all the while blowing up your old phone with threats of what’s to come.

And when he finds you, you’ll be dragged back, kicking and screaming. Gone is the mercy he previously held for you to avoid any unnecessary pain for his dear reader. Angry ! Yandere is only overcome with unfathomable amounts of relief once he finds you. 

But you’ve earned yourself a plethora of punishments, arguably breaking every rule he has;

You didn’t reply to him when he called for you

You didn’t just try to escape but managed it

Which is incredibly disrespectful for you to do to him after everything he’s done for you

You were sneaky, hid your ideas, collected items and actions that resulted in you escaping

You entirely avoided him until he got you back

You answered none of his calls

You didn’t speak to him at all about this stupid “escaping” idea

He should’ve counted the amount of times you flinched away from him, from when you first saw him after your brief adventure to even now as you settle back into your rightful home

You shook so so much as he took you back, chest wracked with sobs and screams and pure agony

And escaping entirely avoids all the punishments you earned your actions leading up to this grand scheme

You ran so, so far, dashed even, desperately though the streets you thought you knew

For the next couple months (at the very least) you will remain completely bound, no matter the aches, pains or wounds it may cause you, especially whilst Angry ! Yandere waits on his newest precautions being delivered. Maybe your screams provide their own type of comfort he had never thought of before; the comfort that you’re still here, locked up in his basement for him and him alone.

He’s learned from his mistakes and will assure you will never leave him again…

[technicallysublimechild]

“My family…” Splinter says, his back turned to his four sons as they jump up onto the rooftop he currently occupies. The sun has just set but the noise and bustle of the City below is carried to them on the cool night breeze. The dark night filled with light and life and everything else they have fought so hard to preserve.

“I am proud of each and every one of you.” Splinter continues as the boys line up behind him. The neon glow of the sign in front of them casting them all in a vibrant green hue. “You are no longer children, you are true heroes. It wouldn't surprise me if someday someone made a movie about you.”

Leo smirks confidently, sheathing his swords and crossing his arms as he soaks in the praise he and his brothers have always craved. It should feel more strange, he thinks, coming from their previously absent father, but Leo knows they've earned this. They saved their father, defeated the shredder, reunited Karai with the soul of her long corrupted father, and saved the City of New York. Not bad for a day’s work. A couple of days? A month? Leo's lost track of the time. It's been a whirlwind of events, from being beaten so decisively by the Shredder to unlocking their Ninpo. But they've done it and they somehow made it out the other end together and alive. Leo's never been so proud of his family. His father is right: a movie about them would be Oscar worthy.

Leo takes a moment to imagine his own heroic action scenes; valiantly taking on the Shredder in an epic one-on-one battle, his long golden locks flowing in the wind. Maybe it's not how it actually went down, but Leo's not above taking some creative liberties.

He's so lost in thought for a moment, he almost misses what his father says next.

"Oh, and Blue, you are the leader now.”

“Wait, what?” Leo exclaims, his daydreams grinding to a sudden halt while his brain resets, frantically replaying his father's words. It makes no sense. It must be a joke. And judging by the startled noises his brothers make beside him, they must be just as confused as he is. But when his father turns around he locks his eyes directly on the slider and Leo can see nothing but a fierce and sincere confidence.

“Leonardo.” He says, gaze unwavering. “You asked me once why nobody trusted you. I am sorry that I have made you feel this way.”

Leo's eyes widen at the unexpected apology. Where was this coming from suddenly? That talk had been ages ago while he and his father had fought in the Battle Nexus for the mystic collar they needed to stop the Shredder. While his father's skepticism and open frustration with him had been hurtful, Leo had proven to his father that he knew what he was doing. Leo assumed it was all water under the bridge. Apparently not.

“Maybe it is because you are loud, and impulsive, and never take anything seriously!” Splinter continues in an increasingly loud tone, clearly forgetting himself as he's reminded of some of Leo's less than stellar traits.

And there we go, Leo thinks, deflating. Wasn't this supposed to be some sort of motivational speech or something?

Splinter catches himself, taking a deep breath before settling back down into a serious tone. “But I have also seen your bravery, resilience and strategic mind. I know that you care for this family and would put their safety above anything else.”

Splinter puts a hand to his chest as Leo reels at the shift in tone. Talk about emotional whiplash.

“I wish to extend to you a show of trust by giving you the opportunity to lead this team.” Splinter continues, extending his hand out towards Leo, palm raised. It's as if he is holding his heart out to Leonardo, all his faith and trust in his son on full display for all to see. The weight of the gesture feels too heavy, and Leo whips his eyes back up towards his father's warm gaze.

“I see great potential in you Leonardo. I believe in you and your ability to be a great leader like many Hamato before you. I entrust this task to you and I know you will make your family proud.” He finishes.

Leo stares, his mouth flapping open in anticipation of the witty remark his mind is sure to supply. He's good at ruining an earnest moment, the best even. But right now his brain has left his mouth on read, and all he can think to do is snap it back shut again.

The thing is; Splinter's offer is everything Leo's ever wanted. A vote of confidence that his family (or at least his father) trusts in him and recognizes his abilities. And maybe he's never truly thought about being the leader before today - it's never even been on the table. But now that it suddenly is, laid out before him in all its alluring glory with promises of honor and acclaim, all he can feel is a sense of rightness. He knows he can do this, knows that he has more potential than just being the face man, and suddenly he wants it with a fierceness he can barely contain.

Leo smiles, an awkward chuckle bubbling up to his mouth from the unexpected excitement rippling through his chest. He wants to laugh, he wants to cry, he wants to sweep his dad up in a crushing hug and make him proud! But before he can do any of it he looks over at his brothers, as he always does, and sees Raph.

Raph, who Leo and his other brothers have followed around since before they could talk. Who has always taken care of them. Who has led them through all their battles, won and lost. Who is the most responsible, hard-working and caring person Leo knows.

Raph is standing next to him with an unreadable expression. Is he happy or sad? Hurt or confused? Maybe it's everything, tumbling around behind his eyes in the same way Leo's emotions are. But when Raph notices Leo's glance he gives him a tentative smile, as ever the supportive big brother.

To Leo in this moment, the gesture is like water to flame. The sudden guilt sweeping across Leo’s mind extinguishing the building fire that was his newfound burning desire. How could he want this when it would mean taking it from Raph? How could Leo ever think to do that to his oldest brother?

Leo turns away from Raph with a frown. Any response he may have had to his father’s words dying in his throat.

Splinter looks between the two of them and sighs, before stepping up in front of Raph.

“Raphael. You have led this family with great strength and love.” He begins, taking one of Raph’s large green hands gently between his own.

“But leadership is a heavy mantle, a mantle you have bravely carried since far too young an age.” Raph watches his father silently as he speaks, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes as he takes in his father’s words.

“I thank you, for being there when I was not. For filling the void I left in your lives for so long. While I know you will always watch over them, you deserve the chance to be cared for as you have always cared for us, and to take time to understand who you are outside of this role.”

Everyone stands transfixed in stunned silence. It's a lot to take in, all these heartfelt words and uncomfortable truths being voiced. They love their dad, always have, but it's true that he hasn't always been there for them. That they've had to learn the hard way how to do things on their own. They don't really like to talk about it; it's awkward and uncomfortable. What's the point of bringing up all that hurt? They've done fine up to now on their own. They have each other to rely on, and Raph to fix their mistakes, and…

Well maybe their dad has a point.

Raph looks like he's about to cry, and Mikey probably too based on how his bottom lip has started wobbling at the emotional display. Leo's still buffeting between excitement and guilt, with a healthy dose of discomfort at all the second hand emotions flitting through the air.

That's it then? He thinks to himself when no one says anything. He's the leader now? Shouldn't there be a ceremony or something? Maybe a pin? A sash? Do leaders wear sashes? Or is that Mayor's? He could be Mayor instead. Mayor of the sewers and his constituents will be rats and he'll deal with the leaky sewer pipes while Raph stays the leader and oh ho ho boy, is it getting hot in here or is it just -

“But Papa!” Donnie suddenly pipes in, his exaggeratedly prim voice cutting through the tense atmosphere with all the subtlety of a baseball bat to the face.

“If we're going to have our own movie, you can't make Leo the leader! There's no way he could carry the film as the main protagonist!”

Leo's eyes bug out in offense, emotional turmoil forgotten in the face of such a brazen affront upon his movie potential.

“Excuuuuse me?” Comes Leo's outraged response as he points at his handsome and most-definitely-leading-man-material face.

“I have enough charisma and good looks to carry a whole franchise on my shell. The final showdown where I beat the bad guys and save the day will go down in cinematic history as the most epic fight scene ever put to screen!” He proclaims, wrapping his arm around Donnie’s neck and panning his other arm out in front of them as if to show Donnie the epic scene laid out before them.

“Just because he's the leader doesn't mean he's the main character.” Mikey chimes in, waggling his finger in disapproval as Donnie escapes Leo's chokehold. “It could easily be a coming of age story!” He suggests excitedly, then dramatically drapes himself over Raph's arm. “The youngest brother, often overlooked and underestimated, goes on an epic journey of self discovery to prove himself to his friends and family!”

“Laaaaame!” Leo interjects, amplifying the word with his hands cupped around his mouth like a megaphone. He ignores the glower Mikey gives him in response and continues on in a chant, arm pumping in time to his words. “Beat the Baddie! Epic final fight! Leo saves the - euf!” He exclaims with a sudden exhale of breath as Donnie pushes him to the ground before he's able to finish.

“Oh please, how uninspired.” Donnie says dismissively as Leo sits back up and tries to recalibrate his brain after the sudden interruption.

“If anything our movie should be a science fiction adventure!” Donnie continues brightly. “An epic space opera where we explore the mysteries of the universe with only our wits and my awesome tech to protect us in the harsh cold void of space.” He finishes dramatically before jumping up, hands shaking happily in front of him as he adds “Also alien spaceships!”

Everyone can’t help but laugh along at Donnie's excited outburst as Mikey steps up beside Leo to help him back up onto his feet. The bubble of tension that had previously surrounded them has burst and the mood is suddenly so much lighter than it had been just moments ago. Leo would almost think the conversation had been a purposeful distraction if he didn't think that was giving Donnie way too much credit. That would be Leo levels of diversion, and he's the reigning champion. Regardless, he's happy for the distraction.

Leo nods at Mikey in thanks for the hand, receiving a bright grin in return before Mikey turns to Raph.

“What do you want our movie to be about Raphie?” He asks their oldest brother, who's smiling fondly down at their sudden antics.

“Oh! Ummm…” Raph responds, furrowing his brow as he takes a moment to think. “Raph doesn't really care what it's about,” He says shrugging, “as long as it has a happy ending.”

It's such a Raph thing to say and Leo’s first instinct is to tease his older brother mercilessly for such a sentimental remark, but it’s been a hell of a day - Leo doesn't want to ruin the moment.

“Absolutely, happy endings are a must!” He declares, throwing his hands casually behind his head as he instinctively starts to move in the direction of the lair. The serious discussions for the day have been successfully diverted and he is exhausted. Time to go home for some well earned rest and relaxation.

His other brothers all voice their agreement, Mikey patting Raph on the back of his shell as they begin to trail behind him.

They're quickly stopped by Splinter.

“My sons…we cannot go back to the lair.” He reminds them. “We will need to find somewhere else to stay for the night.”

Right. The lair was destroyed. They no longer have a home to return to. Leo feels everyone deflate at the reminder. So much for avoiding any more serious discussions…

“Well we can’t leave the lair as it is.” Donnie remarks. “Now that the inhabitants of New York have been returned, we don’t have long before the damage is discovered. We need to get as much of our things out of there as possible and destroy the rest before anyone finds something that could compromise our safety.”

“Do you think there's even anything left?” Leo asks. “In case you don't remember, the whole place kind of caved in on itself after being engulfed in demonic fire.” He means for it to come across light-heartedly, but judging by Mikey's suddenly slumping shoulders, it didn't quite hit the mark.

Donnie huffs, ignoring Leo's failed attempt at humour. “I don't know, but we need to check. All of my tech at the very least needs to be destroyed so that no one can get their hands on it.”

Splinter steps forward, putting a supportive hand on Mikey's arm. “It has been a long day, you all should rest before attempting such an endeavor.” He suggests softly.

“But we may not have another opportunity.” Donnie argues in return. “By the time we're all rested, the lair could be crawling with clean up crews.”

Realizing that they are at an impasse, Leo, Mikey and Donnie all look up at Raph for his input. Unless Splinter puts his foot down, they'll leave it up to Raph to decide. But instead of answering like he usually does, Raph looks over at Leo, raising his brow expectantly. Everyone else’s gaze follows, and suddenly all eyes are on Leo. That's right - he's the leader now, and Raph is reminding all of them of that fact by deferring to Leo on this one.

The sudden attention catches Leo by surprise. It's not exactly unwelcome, it's just so different from how he usually has to vie for attention from his brothers. It throws him off to receive it so freely without having to bully them all into listening to him.

Huh. He could get used to this.

Leo closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before making his decision. “We need to make sure the lair is clear before we do anything else. Let’s deal with it while we can and then find somewhere to crash.”

Leo lets his answer hang in the air for a moment before peeking an eye open to see how his decision has been received. Donnie seems happy enough, already walking past Leo to start making his way towards the lair. Mikey looks over at their father, giving his hand a quick squeeze and a small smile before following after Donnie. Raph looks over at Leo with a little smile and a quick thumbs up.

Oh god, he appreciates the reassurance but does Raph have to be so embarassing? Leo blocks Raph from his view with his hand, shoulders hunched, and shuffles after his other brothers to avoid any more humiliatingly supportive gestures.

He hears Raph chuckle and follow after him, a solid presence at his back.

[sapphires-and-silver-linings]

Half-Life | Chapter Four

You realized then how delicate this all still was.

Pairing: Plaga!Leon S. Kennedy/F!Chubby!Paranormal Investigator!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst, Sexual Tension, Masturbation, Blood, Body Horror, Animal Injury & Death

Notes: Heeeeey, guys. It's been a minute since I last posted, but here is chapter 4 (finally)! My summer has been more busy and stressful than I ever could have imagined, so I'm happy to finally be able to finish this chapter, which is the longest chapter of anything I've ever written at just over 14k words!!! I keep breaking my own personal record every time I write, it feels like lol. I also think this is some of the best writing I've ever done and I'm extremely proud of it! Not sure when chapter 5 will come out, as school is starting back up for me soon and a couple people I know irl are getting married this fall, so I'll be traveling a lot as well. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know your thoughts! (And here's a little behind-the-scenes tidbit: the painting I describe at the beginning of this chapter is actually in RE4R in the grand hall!)

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You awoke before Leon, for once.

You couldn’t stop yourself from sitting up on your air mattress and looking at his curled-up form, finally allowed to take in his appearance fully without having to sneak a glance or risk embarrassing yourself and him by getting caught staring.

You had yet to see him so at peace until this moment. He was laid atop his blankets, nearly in the fetal position, one long arm tucked under his pillow while the other was slung across his exposed midriff. His appendages were retracted again and his tail was hanging off the side of the bed, twitching slightly in his slumber. His breaths were deep and even, and his messy blond hair covered his closed eyes.

Never in your life did you think a literal monster could be so damn cute—so damn attractive in ways most humans hadn’t been to you before. Even the ones you dated. You wondered what that said about you.

As you gazed at Leon, you were reminded of the day before, a lovely warmth settling over you like that of the sun spilling in from the window above.

You could feel yourself blush as you recalled him carrying you across the bridge; how he had plucked a flower just to stick it into your hair; the fact he was willing to dance with you in the dilapidated ballroom simply because you asked; the way he played into your little game as you sat upon the throne, faces so near, you could brush your nose against his if you had just moved a little bit closer.

But then he had pulled away, leaving you breathless… and confused.

You weren’t sure why he would humor you with the flirting and the lingering glances and the gentle touches just to distance himself again—why he was holding himself back.

It was maddening, and you struggled to muster the courage to ask him about it or take matters into your own hands. Because, if you were honest with yourself, you were terrified of what it would mean if you did.

Worst case scenario, he would reject you and send you away. It would sting, but you had grown accustomed to the feeling; almost expected it by now. Besides, you were going to leave anyway, weren’t you?

Best case scenario, though? He would reciprocate and then… what? What could come of this? Would you still go home and let this remain as some passionate, short-lived fling? Would you work out how to stay and leave your entire life—friends and family—behind? Or would you come and visit him when you could manage it, living some kind of half-life split between your world and his?

Every outcome you could think of seemed to hurt, and you thought maybe it would be better to keep things as they were; tense but platonic.

However, being with him was so easy. Natural as breathing (when he wasn’t stealing your breath away, that is). Sure, there had been hiccups and misunderstandings. The both of you were stubborn and set in your ways, but you put your differences to rest so quickly. 

But god, were you different. The type of different that you thought before meeting him would never work. As a human, he was handsome. Devastatingly so. Could have been a model, had he chosen another career.

And, most notably, he could have had anyone he wanted.

You had come to love your body with all its curves and marks, but you doubted he would even look your way if you had crossed paths in another life.

You knew it wasn’t fair to yourself or to him to compare who he was to who he is now, considering how much he had gone through over the years and his transformation. However, you couldn’t help but think the attention you were getting from him came from loneliness and nothing more.

If anyone else had been just as stupid and nosy as you, he probably would have acted this way towards them in your stead.

Could you so easily be replaced?

Your chest clenched painfully at the thought and you forced yourself to look away from him, eyes bouncing around the room until they landed on the painting hung on the nearby wall.

It was a beautiful depiction of the castle—how it must have looked when it was occupied by people instead of dust and crumbling stone. The colors were vibrant, and a couple in the foreground were walking away from it, arm in arm. You admired it for a long while, feeling a sense of serenity overtake your anxious mind for a moment.

And then memories of the day prior flooded it instead, how you and Leon had spent the rest of the evening making crude wooden frames for the paintings you had “borrowed” from the castle, carefully finding the best places to hang the new pieces on his once empty walls.

Leon acted like he didn’t care, letting you decide for him, but you caught him glancing at the artwork from time to time, a gentle smile on his face at the way they brightened up his home.

You knew once you left he would be lonely again. You hoped if you could make these changes for him it might be enough to keep him content, even for just a little while. And, selfishly, you felt that if you couldn’t have him, you could at least inject remnants of yourself into his life. Maybe then he’d think of you the way you knew you’d think of him until your last breath.

Everything about it was unfair.

You heard a rustle and a quiet call of your name, your gaze meeting the half-lidded one of Leon as he sat up to look at you. He let out a yawn, his impossibly wide mouth gaping open in a way you once thought to be terrifying, those razor teeth glinting in the low light of the morning sun. Now, as he blinked the sleep from his red eyes, you found it more endearing, like the maw of a cat. Precious in all its sharp edges.

“Good morning,” you told him softly, a smile playing on your lips as if you hadn’t nearly worried your teeth through them moments ago.

“Mornin’. You been up long?” he asked as he swept his hair from his face. You wished you could do it for him, but you pushed that thought deep down instead.

“Not long. Was just looking at the painting,” you replied, half-lying as you pointed at the artwork in question.

His gaze trailed up to it, a small grin alighting his bizarrely beautiful features. “It really was a great idea, bringing them back here. Makes the place a lot less depressing.”

“I have those, occasionally,” you joked, pulling yourself to your feet. “I’m gonna start breakfast if you’re interested in something other than fish.”

With a tilt of his head, he asked, “What’re you makin’?”

You smirked as you walked up to him. “You can find out for yourself if you get dressed and meet me downstairs.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, catching you off guard by leaning in close, so tall that even sitting down he was the same height as you were standing. “So demanding, bunny.”

You scoffed. “Forgive me. Please get dressed and meet me downstairs. Better?” 

“Baby steps.”

Splaying your hand against his chest, you teasingly shoved him, “Whatever. I’ll just cook without you.” 

He grabbed your wrist, clawed fingers cool against your skin, causing a shiver to run through you. “C’mon, you’re breaking my heart here.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, pulling slightly against his hold. “Then be good and do as you’re told.”

He sighed dramatically, releasing you from his grip. “Yes, ma’am.”

You grinned triumphantly, gently tapping your finger against the tip of his nose. It caused him to scrunch up his face in a way that made you laugh, and then you turned on your heels and strolled to the door.

You glanced back at him as he stood and stretched. “Bacon and eggs, by the way.”

“Now that’s something I can’t pass up.”

“Figured.” And with that, you were on your way.

You kickstarted your morning by brushing your teeth and washing your face in the sink, then quickly got dressed so you could begin working on breakfast.

Leon was swift to join you, staying out of your way as he would be little help with his claws but keeping you company regardless. You made sure to leave his eggs runny and his bacon undercooked to abide by his more primal eating habits.

Soon enough, the two of you were at the table, sitting across from each other as was becoming the norm. It all felt so… domestic.

“Got any plans I need to know about?” he inquired after emptying his plate.

You swallowed the bite you had been chewing, glancing out of the nearby window. “It’s a nice day out. Pretty warm for autumn. Would that lake trip I mentioned yesterday be out of the question?” 

“Don’t see why we can’t. And there’s lots to see. I think you’re going to have a good time.” 

“With you? Always.”

You could have sworn a faint pink rose to his face, but he was quick to stand and place his used dishes in the sink, so you couldn’t be certain.

After a quick prep for the trip, you headed down to the lake, Leon helping you get onto the boat, which rocked violently as you stepped onto it, to your dismay. He chuckled as you grappled his shoulders to steady yourself, slowly lowering onto the bench beneath you.

“Not too keen on a swim, huh?” he teased you.

“Not fully clothed, at least,” you muttered in reply.

He simply smirked at that but didn’t respond. 

Leon smoothly directed the loud motorboat to the first location you had agreed upon back at the house, which was a small cave that held a wooden shack inside. It was such a strange little place, but you liked to hear the echo of your voices bounce off the cave walls, as well as the sound of the boat gently slapping against the dock.

The headless statue with the dark stains on it—that looked an awful lot like old blood—made you uneasy, but you could see yourself camping out at a place like this.

After that, Leon said he was taking you to what he called “chicken island”, which made you laugh. 

“Can’t imagine why they’d call it that,” you mused.

“It had chickens there if you can believe it,” was his deadpan response. 

And he didn’t lie. Although the birds were no longer present, many rusted cages full of straw nests were stacked across the small area and worn feathers littered the ground. There wasn’t much to it, as he had warned, but you felt the need to at least say you had been to such a silly place.

He then took you into another cave, pulling up to a large dock with only your flashlight as a guide. You climbed up the ladder to the deck above—a place that you had passed through to get to the lake in the first place—to sit on a crate and eat your lunch.

Time was passing rather quickly while out on the water, and you worried if you spent too much time dawdling, you’d have to come back the next day and waste precious hours you could be doing other things.

The end of your visit here was coming up sooner than you’d like, after all. 

You were halfway through your sandwich, giving the room a more intense sweep, when your eyes fell upon the elevator in the corner. You had pointed it out before, but Leon wasn’t keen on using it, as the generator keeping the thing in service had long since lost fuel. 

Apparently, there had been a shooting range with moving targets on the floor below, to your bewilderment. There was also one inside the castle and another in the mines beneath it, though Leon told you it was too dangerous to trek the old shafts. 

You glanced at the counter next to the elevator and a thought came to your mind. “Hey, Leon, you said there were moving targets in the shooting range, right?”

He looked at you quizzically but nodded, mouth full of sliced ham.

You giggled at the sight, but continued your questioning, “So if they were moving, was someone controlling them?”

He swallowed thickly before answering, “Yeah... This guy I just referred to as ‘The Merchant’. He popped up all over the village while I was trying to save Ashley. Helped me a lot by selling me supplies. He was in charge of the shooting ranges around here.”

“How did he know where you’d end up in time to set up shop? And how did he avoid getting infected with the parasite?” 

Leon clicked his tongue. “Your guess is good as mine. He was… weird… but he did me a solid, so I figured it would be best not to ask questions. Even sold me some things to live on after I turned. He never came back after that.”

“Do you wish he did?” you asked, unable to stop yourself from prying. It was a bad habit, you knew, but you couldn’t help it.

You wanted to get to know Leon in every capacity, even though leaving would only hurt worse if you did. You must've been a masochist, then. 

He sighed wearily, crossing his arms. “If I’m being honest… every day I wished someone would come back. Didn’t matter who. Used to lay awake at night and think about Claire or Ashely or Ad—” he paused at that, and you were going to ask what name he was about to say when he continued, “Anyway, I used to imagine them coming to find me. Just to say hi, I guess. To see how I was doing. But they never did. Not that they should. I told Ashley not to come back for her safety, and to not tell anyone I was alive. Don’t know why I hoped she’d break her promise.”

“Well,” you started, reaching over and wrapping your fingers around his hand, “at least I’m here.”

“Yeah, and I’m glad for it, even if it's just for a week.” He was staring down at your knuckles and you wanted nothing more than to coil your arms around him, but you refrained.

You considered him for a long moment instead, all your overthinking from earlier being tossed out of your mind as you promptly made a decision, saying, “I could always come back. Make this a yearly trip or something.”

His gaze jumped up to your own, then, shock evident in his pale features. “And why would you do that?”

You let out a huff of laughter. Was he really that clueless? Well, you weren’t about to give him the full truth—that you were utterly infatuated with him—instead replying, “Because I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

“Friend,” he repeated, voice low. Was there a hint of disappointment in his tone, or did you imagine it? “Yeah, I guess at this point, you really are. But I don’t know if it would be a good idea for you to come back.”

“Why?” You felt hurt by that, but you tried to hide it behind a nonchalant attitude, attempting to sound more curious than bitter.

“We’re wasting daylight,” he said instead of answering you, standing up from his crate. “We should keep moving.”

You stood up, too, confusion and frustration circling in your head like vultures. “Fine, but this conversation isn’t over, Leon.”

“Hm,” was all he replied, already making his way to the boat before you even finished zipping up your backpack. 

The short trip to the other side of the cave was one full of awkward silence. You didn’t want to show that you were annoyed, but it was difficult to mask it while he was giving you the cold shoulder.

You realized then how delicate this all still was. A few days together was not enough time for him to fully open up to you. You were upset, but he had a stormy history—one he wasn’t keen on sharing.

Whether it was to protect himself from the vulnerability or spare you from the weight of his past, you didn’t know. But you wanted nothing more than to assure him that he meant something to you. That he could trust you.

You kept your mouth shut.

Despite the change in attitude, Leon was still quick to help you out of the boat. It was something you appreciated, given your apparent lack of sea legs.

Your concerned thoughts were replaced with a renewed sense of awe, though, as you shone your flashlight over the cave walls and rushed forward. Leon simply followed behind you while you explored the place, as he made a habit of doing since your arrival.

You found another headless statue stained in dark brown, to your disgust, but not much else resided in the labyrinthine tunnels.

You went back to the boat, and as you were about to leave the area altogether, you pointed out another small dock nearby. “What’s over there? Can we go?”

He seemed hesitant, shoulders tensing, but he eventually nodded, pulling up alongside it.

Once on solid ground, you were swift in finding a painting on the cave wall, which was a large and very old map of the lake with what looked like a whale in the center.

“What is that?” You asked Leon, the uneasy silence from just before fading as your curiosity took root in its stead.

He grimaced as if remembering something terrible. “Del Lago. Giant fish monster in the lake. I killed it, though, so don’t worry.”

“Ah, a Spanish Nessie, then,” you teased despite your horror at such a concept. “Must have been old, if this painting is anything to go by.”

“Its body sank to the bottom of the lake pretty much as soon as I downed the thing,” he said, looking up at the depiction of the creature. “It’s almost a shame, what happened to it.”

“Why, cos you killed an ancient majestic beast?”

He turned to you with a smile. “No, cos I wasted all that meat.” 

You laughed and he chuckled in response, the awkward tension from earlier finally giving way to the easygoing banter you enjoyed so much.

“C’mon, there’s more to explore,” you urged, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along.

Near the mural was a shrine with two large hands sticking up from the cave floor, a head sitting in either stone palm.

Well, that explains the headless statues, you mused.

You moved on quickly after that, the cave giving way to a forested path. You made a face as you skirted past a sacrificial altar, gripping Leon a little tighter.

After having to crawl underneath a tiny gap in a stone formation, you made it to a fork in the path, a small building to your right, and a winding trail to your left.

“What’s over there?” you asked Leon as you pointed to the trail, leaning down to wipe the dirt from your clothes. 

He seemed to freeze before responding a little too quickly, “Not much. And that cabin just leads to another dock. We should head back to the boat.”

“Oh, c’mon, we’re already here! Might as well take a peek!” you chirped, marching onto the trail. 

Leon didn’t argue, but he was tense as he followed you up to the end of the path.

You were more than a little confused by what you found there.

“Graves?” you questioned aloud as you looked upon the two crosses made crudely of sticks, names carved into the wood. They weren’t next to each other like you’d expect, but spread apart and angled toward the center of the dead-end path. “How strange. The only other ones I’ve seen were in the church cemetery.”

“Yeah, strange,” Leon muttered behind you, sounding almost… nervous? You wondered why.

You leaned down to the cross on the left, barely able to make out the name “Luis Serra Novarro” on the wood. An old lighter was on the ground beside it. You wondered if it even worked anymore with how long it looked to be sitting there. 

You then crouched before the other cross, “Major Jack Krauser” etched messily upon the surface.

“Well, his name isn’t very local-sounding,” you joked of the latter.

Leon didn’t reply, but you were too distracted by what was dug into the ground in front of the cross to comment on it. It was a large knife with an engraving of a snake on its rusted blade.

“Wow, that’s cool,” you mused, reaching out to pull it from the dirt. It felt like a waste to leave such a well-crafted weapon just sitting there.

“Stop!” Leon barked, lunging forward and yanking your hand from where it brushed against the scales.

Shocked, you pulled away and stood up, taking a step back at the snarl on his face. “Whoa, what’s wrong? The thing booby-trapped or something?”

He sighed, his expression turning weary instead of angry. “No, just… would like to respect the dead.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Respect the dead? You piled up human corpses at the entrance to the village. Not sure how that’s exactly—” You stopped mid-sentence, realization hitting you as you took in the miserable look on Leon’s face. “You… you knew these guys, didn’t you?”

He grimaced at your words but slowly nodded in response.

“Who were they?”

Leon crossed his arms over his chest tightly, as if to hug himself, before jerking his head to the grave on the left. “Luis helped me and Ashley. He actually saved me from him, too,” he said, looking at the grave to the right. “He was killed by that very knife.”

“Why bury this guy next to your friend if he murdered him?” You were flabbergasted by this whole thing, desperate to make sense of Leon’s strange actions.

He winced at that. “He was my mentor. Trained me to be an agent in the first place. Without him, I don’t think I could have survived.”

“What caused him to change?”

Leon decided to plop onto the ground, his tail whipping in agitation along the dirt. You joined him, sitting cross-legged beside his slouched figure, waiting for him to say something.

“He was betrayed by the very country he fought to protect. His whole unit was wiped out and he was badly injured, unable to fight like he used to. He ended up going MIA and joined the cult. They infected him with the Plagas, too. I had to fight him. I had to—” he stopped to take a steadying breath, “I had to kill him. With that same blade. His blade.”

“I’m so sorry, Leon,” was all you could offer him, placing your hand over his and squeezing gently. He closed his claws into a fist and squeezed back.

“I buried Luis first,” he began. “Had to go into the mines to retrieve his body, ferry it out here. Then I went to the island on the other side of the castle to find Krauser. The whole place had collapsed in on itself, but I had hoped I could get to him. Dug in the rubble for days, but… couldn’t find a body. The knife is all I had left of him, so now it’s here.”

“I see,” you said quietly, staring down at the muddled reflection of Leon’s dirt-covered leg in the rusted blade. “Why’d you place their graves so far out of the way?”

“It’s secluded. Quiet. Peaceful,” he replied, head tilting towards the sky and closing his eyes. “Figured I would bury Wolfie here, too, when he eventually dies. Just thought it would be a good place to…”

You saw him swallow back his words.

“A good place to what?”

He sighed and shook his head before looking at you, those red eyes so hauntingly melancholy, it made your heart ache. “A good place to rest.”

The two of you sat quietly in the dirt, simply holding hands and watching the breeze ripple through the foliage surrounding you.

He’s right, you thought, comforted by the shade of trees, yet still able to make out the blue of the sky above, it is a good place to rest.

You knew Leon grieved the life he once lived, so evident in the way he carried himself—the way he spoke. But this kind of loss was news to you. You never realized just how much weight he carried.

You were determined to lighten the burden in any way you could.

“Come on,” you told him, finally standing. “We have one last stop, don’t we?”

He didn’t need your help to get to his feet, but he still took your outstretched hand, giving you a small, grateful smile when he towered over you once more. “Yeah. We do.”

Before you knew it, you were back on the motorboat, heading straight to the center of the lake for your last location.

You had seen the old, half-sunk fishing vessel from the shore, but wanted to explore it last for the hell of it. You were glad you made that decision, hoping that spending more time on the calm waters might lift Leon’s spirits.

He came to a stop at the port of the large wooden boat, gracefully exiting onto the dilapidated vessel before reaching his hand out and pulling you onto the algae-slick deck with him.

“Careful,” he warned, releasing his hold on you. “The boards are pretty damaged. Wouldn’t want you to fall through.”

“Yes, sir,” you teased, but you took your time walking around, just in case. You heard him chuckle as you shuffled slowly forward, giving him a lighthearted glare in response. 

There really wasn’t much to see of the place, only able to access the front of it. 

You leaned against the railing of the bow after a brief sweep of the area, looking out onto the blue, blue water. It was beautiful, and you could see why Leon would spend hours fishing out here beyond catching a meal or two.

You glanced over your shoulder at him, finding him leaning against the front of the cockpit, his eyes already on you. You wished you knew what he was thinking when he looked at you like that. You hid your blush by turning back around.

You placed your hands on the railing, a light giggle escaping you as a thought crossed your mind.

“What’s so funny?” he questioned, and you knew he was smiling without needing to face him.

You tapped your fingers on the wood. “You ever see the movie Titanic?”

He scoffed but didn’t answer, instead stepping closer. Before you knew what was happening, he had gently tugged your arms up, holding them in the air as he leaned down to place his chin on your shoulder. Your breath was caught in your throat by the proximity, his own tickling your cheek.

“Was this what you had in mind, bunny?” he asked you, voice low and teasing in a way that made your stomach flip. You kept your arms up as he slid his hands down to rest on your waist and you wondered if you would pass out from your inability to pull oxygen into your lungs.

You needed to get yourself together, so you forced out a nervous laugh before saying, “If only we had Celine Dion playing in the background. I think we’d be dead ringers for the remake.”

Leon laughed heartily. “I can’t imagine they’d do a remake of such a nineties classic.”

You giggled, turning slightly to meet his eye. “They remake everything these days.”

“Well, I don’t think I have what it takes to play Jack, but you’re pretty enough to go on the big screen.”

Oh. 

That compliment made heat flood your whole body, though you didn’t want him to notice it. “What are you talking about? You’re practically Leo DiCaprio two-point-oh.”

“Mm, maybe ten years ago,” he mused, pulling away from you, to your chagrin. “C’mon, we should head back to the house.”

You pouted as you turned to face him. “But I don’t want to yet!”

“Well, there’s not much left to do out here,” he replied, as if coaxing you to follow his lead.

But that wasn’t exactly your style, now was it? 

Instead, you let your hair down from its messy bun, kicked off your shoes and socks, and yanked your shirt over your head.

Leon’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as you stripped in front of him, pulling your jeans off and leaving yourself only in your underwear. You could tell he was trying not to stare, focusing solely on your face as he choked out, “What the hell are you doing?!”

Still, you saw his gaze drop to your bare skin. You felt utterly exposed, but you weren’t ashamed.

In fact, you felt good.

You felt free.

You sat on the railing of the boat, smiling wickedly at him as you flipped your legs over the edge. “I told you if I was going to have a swim, it wouldn’t be fully clothed, didn’t I?”

Before he could say anything else, you plunged into the water.

It was so cold, you locked up for a moment, your body shocked by the sudden change in temperature. You stayed under for a few seconds, willing yourself to adjust before breaching the surface.

You wiped the water from your eyes, blinking up at Leon as he hung off the bow of the boat. It looked like he was about to dive in after you, as if he was worried you wouldn’t come back up.

His concern for you warmed you right up.

“Are you serious?” he interrogated, breathing out a sigh of disbelief. “You said it was too cold to bathe out here, but you’ll take an afternoon swim?”

“Definitely too cold for a bath,” you replied, nodding sagely. “But you should still come join me!”

“Absolutely not. You’re crazy, you know that?”

You smiled, all teeth. “What was your first clue, sweetheart?”

He scoffed. “You showing up here in the first place, probably.” 

“So…” you began, “you should learn to expect the unexpected. And jump in. I know the cold doesn’t bother you, Leon.”

He sighed, staring over at the shore for a moment before turning to face you once more. “Fine.”

You whooped in victory as he stepped back from the railing, and then bit your lip as you watched him pull off his shirt, revealing his lean, taut upper body. His legs were obscured by the boat as he tore his pants from them, but you got a good look when he leapt onto the ledge of the bow. You had to crane your neck to take in all of him, grazing your eyes up his muscled form, covered only by boxer briefs.

Before you could stare for too long, he dove into the water behind you, and you covered your eyes as it splashed up in a small wave.

He quickly rose to the surface, flipping his blond hair from his face.

“See? Not so bad,” you told him, paddling closer to where he was treading.

“Guess not.”

You were about to speak again when you felt something large slither along your leg. You yelped, pulling your body away from the sensation. “Oh my god, something just touched me!” 

Leon shrugged. “Probably just a fish.”

“No, no, it was definitely a snake!” you told him, eyes staring down as if you could see into the dark water.

“It’s possible. There’re vipers in the area, I told you that before.” He seemed to be taking joy in your distress and you glared at him angrily for it.

“Leon, if that’s true, I need out RIGHT now.”

You began to swim towards the motorboat, suddenly very over this whole situation, when something touched your leg again. You screamed as it wrapped around your ankle, pulling you under the water.

You weren’t under for very long, whatever it was almost immediately releasing you. You sputtered as you pushed your head above the surface, panicking.

But then you heard Leon laughing hysterically nearby, and the realization that he was just screwing with you hit you like a brick.

“Oh, you asshole!” you yelled, wading back over to him and shoving his chest in rage.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just had to,” he told you between laughs.

“Yeah, you will be.” With that, you splashed his face with water, feeling smug that you got him before he could use his arm as a shield.

You splashed him a few more times until he lunged toward you, grabbing your arms, “Okay, we’re even now. Happy?”

He released you and you pretended to think about it for a moment, easing closer. Your faces were mere inches apart, and you wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him. You weren’t sure how the action would even work, considering his protruding fangs, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to find out. 

He seemed to edge nearer, and you wondered if he had the same idea.

But your nerves got the better of you.

Instead, you jumped up and shoved his shoulders down, dunking him completely under the water.

It was your turn to laugh as he came back up, his wet hair covering his eyes. “Now I’d say we’re even.”

He pushed the strands from his face and shook his head, chuckling. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

Before you could say something else, the sky seemed to darken suddenly. You still had a couple hours of daylight left, so you glanced up, confused. You saw that clouds had converged over the sun, looking awfully heavy.

Something splattered against your forehead, and you wiped it off, realizing it was a raindrop. Several more began to fall on and around you, and you knew it was time to head back to shore.

You and Leon quickly got dressed as the sprinkle of rain turned into a steady shower, dampening your once-dry clothes. Still, you made the time to glance at Leon’s cute butt as he leaned down to pull up his pants, and when you turned to put on your own, you could feel his eyes on you too.

Thankfully, Leon decided to head back to the cave, the rain only coming down harder as you finally entered it. Leon moored the boat, and the two of you hurried through to the quarry. 

A flash of light streaked across the sky as you reached the church, the echoing BOOM that followed it making you jump out of your skin. You must’ve looked like a wet chihuahua with how you shook, both from the sound and the cold rain seeping down to the bone.

Leon turned to face you, his expression concerned. He got close, placing his palms against your arms. “You’re freezing. C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Despite your misery, you couldn’t help but feel warmed by his words.

Let’s get you home.

He said it like it was yours, too.

He grabbed your hand, tugging you along as you rushed back to his place, knowing it was still quite a trek.

You finally made it to the house, and you doubled over as soon as you crossed the threshold, panting heavily from practically jogging the whole way. You were shivering violently, your teeth chattering as you finally caught your breath, when you felt Leon lay his hand across your back.

“Hey, you should get changed. I’ll start a fire,” he urged, eyes soft as he looked at you.

You nodded, doing as he said, wringing your drenched clothes over the tub before hanging them on the sides of it.

Feeling slightly better, you went back into the main room, seeing that Leon had pushed the dining table over and moved the couch in front of the fireplace, where a stack of logs was piled in the hearth.

He was struggling with the matches again, so you gently took them from his hands, alighting the kindling yourself. He simply nodded at you before you sat down on the couch and reached your hands towards the slowly growing flames.

“You’re soaked,” you told him. “Go change. I’ll make dinner when we warm up.”

He smiled down at you as he stood, stroking the top of your head. You never wanted him to stop. “Be right back, then.”

You were finally losing the chill as he returned, sitting down beside you, his tail draped between you on the seat.

Another loud crash of lightning made you cry out, flinching.

“Whoa, there,” he said softly. “You okay?”

You grimaced. “Yeah, I’m not… the biggest fan of storms. I like the rain when I’m cozied up inside, but thunder and lightning… I don’t know. It freaks me out.”

“So you’re afraid of heights, snakes, and storms. Anything else I should know about?” he asked lightheartedly.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not afraid of heights, just falling off a shoddy bridge, thank you very much. And snakes only scare me when they’re venomous and I think they’re slithering around my leg.”

His tail flicked up as you stared pointedly at it, the movement incredibly cute to you. He could really be just like a cat sometimes.

“I stand corrected. Just storms, then,” he teased.

The conversation flowed to other things, but looking around, you realized with sudden concern that Leon’s dog wasn’t nearby. “Hey, where’s Wolfie? Was he upstairs?”

Leon’s brows furrowed at that, standing and glancing around the room. “No… he wasn’t. He usually doesn’t stay out when it storms.” 

“Is he okay?” you questioned.

Leon crossed his arms. “I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe staying somewhere out of the rain.”

You nodded, though you worried for the poor dog’s safety.

As you promised, you made dinner—a roast, actually—and you had never seen Leon so excited by something you had cooked thus far (though he wouldn’t touch the potatoes, onions, and carrots that simmered alongside it).

As you worked on washing dishes, you saw Leon staring out of one of the windows, and you knew he was looking for Wolfie. You finished the chore, walking into the main room to stand beside him.

“He’s never been gone this long,” Leon stated with a frown.

You worried your bottom lip. “Maybe… Maybe we should go find him.”

Leon glanced at you, then, brow raised. “I’ll go find him. You should stay here.”

“No way,” you argued, already pulling on your hiking boots. “I’m not letting you go out there alone.”

“You could catch a cold, and that bear is still around. Besides, you hate the thunder and lightning, and it's only getting worse.”

“Well, I’m worried about him too. I want to help.”

He sighed as you stood upright, seeing the determination in your eyes. “Fine, but dress warm.”

You nodded vigorously. “I have a raincoat and a jacket, don’t worry.” 

You quickly ran to your luggage, throwing on your hoodie, sliding the raincoat over it, and grabbing your flashlight from your backpack.

You met Leon at the door, the two of you heading out into the dark.

You kept your arm braced above your brows to block the rain from your eyes, the hoods of your jacket and coat pulled over your head still not enough to prevent the onslaught, raking your flashlight over the ground as you and Leon called Wolfie’s name.

You didn’t know how long you were in the storm, and although the clothes on your top half helped to keep you dry and warm, your legs were getting soaked through. You pushed past the discomfort, your concern for Leon’s animal companion taking precedence.

The look of worry on his face was compelling enough to keep moving forward on its own.

You were near the church again, calling out the dog’s name as loud as you could, getting desperate to find him safe, when you heard Leon gasp beside you.

“What?” you questioned.

“This way,” was all he responded, bounding through the woods at a speed you could barely keep up with.

Leon was taking you deep into the forest, and you could focus on little else but his darting form as you followed him, afraid to be left behind in the dark.

You thought you were gaining on him when you tripped over a root, cutting your knee as you fell to the ground, hard. You were quick to pick yourself back up, sprinting after him and gritting your teeth against the pain.

You lost him, though, the realization filling you with panic. You just continued running in the direction you saw him taking off, calling after him frantically.

The thunder rumbled deafeningly from above, making you cower in fright, but you knew you had to keep going. The darkness seemed to encroach upon you, the torrent of rain pelting against your whole body hard enough to hurt.

You don’t think you had ever felt this afraid.  

To your relief, you finally caught up to Leon, but it was short-lived when you took in what was ahead of you.

Leon was crouched over, and you could hear him muttering in distress. Before him was Wolfie, laying motionless on his side, four streaks of dark red seeping out of his white fur.

You rushed forward, dropping onto your injured knee, not caring how badly it stung as you assessed the animal in front of you. He was still breathing, thankfully, and letting out quiet little whimpers. The wounds looked deep as you appraised them, wondering what could have done this to him.

As if reading your mind, Leon growled, “It was that damn bear.”

You didn’t respond as he stripped his shirt off, easily ripping it into strips. They were soaked through with rain, but it was better than nothing.

“Here buddy,” Leon reassured Wolfie as he grabbed his own tail.

“What are you doing?”

Ignoring you, he gently pricked the barbed end into the dog’s side, who yelped and writhed at the feeling before near-instantly relaxing.

“Kills the pain,” is all he offered as you looked at him in shock. He then shoved the strips of cloth into your hands. “I’m gonna lift him up and I want you to wrap these around him, okay?”

He’d only ever been this serious when protecting you from that bear two days prior, and you swallowed before nodding in response.

You began to carefully slide the first strip over one of the gashes, about to tie it off, when Leon interjected, “Tight, but not too tight.”

“Got it,” you said, fingers shaking as you followed his direction for each wound. You weren’t sure if it was the cold or the nerves but you managed it well enough.

When you were done, Leon stood. Wolfie was held in his arms, the dog’s blood smearing against his bare chest. It made your stomach twist with unease.

“I have bandages in my first-aid kit,” you told him as he began the trek back to the path, trying to keep up with his long, hurried gait.

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Leon said. “We can change the bandages, but I don’t know if he’s… I don’t know if he’ll make it.”

You couldn’t reply, tears pricking your eyes at the thought.

Leon’s voice wavered as he continued, “I know he’s old. I knew I’d lose him eventually. But not like this. Not this soon…” 

You pushed back your tears, sadness giving way to conviction. “After we replace the bandages, I’m gonna take him to the vet, okay? You’ll have to carry him to my car, but I think if we’re fast, we can do this.” 

“What if he dies on the way there?” Leon asked miserably, “I don’t want to be away from him in his last moments.”

“I know it’s a risk, but we have a real chance of saving him, Leon. You told me to trust you yesterday, right? Well, now I need you to trust me.”

He seemed so conflicted but eventually nodded, his features solemn. “Okay. I’ll trust you.”

You reached over and squeezed his arm comfortingly.

God, I hope I’m right about this.

+++

It had been a long time since Leon felt this afraid.

He had lost everything once, and was forced to spend a decade trying to survive the hole that loss gouged out of him. Just a void sitting inside his chest, the edges slowly creeping out to devour what was left.

Wolfie had been there for him in ways humans never were. Even when he wasn’t this grotesque monstrosity, he would rather die than burden someone else with his innate brokenness, preferring to mask it with his need to help or his oftentimes cynical sense of humor.

The truth of the matter? He didn’t know who he was when he wasn’t useful to someone. When he wasn’t a protector. He had never felt so unmoored, going without this self-imposed purpose to drive him forward.

Wolfie had renewed that purpose a month after his transformation, when Leon was at his lowest. He limped up to him with a swollen leg after being bit by a viper, clearly recognizing him despite his mutated features. He had done all he could to nurse the poor dog back to health, and Wolfie hadn’t left his side since.

He sometimes wondered if it was fate that brought them together again—if he allowed himself to believe in something beyond the mundane—but he had renounced god and any other spiritual bullshit ages ago.

He looked down at the dog in his arms, no longer in pain due to his venom’s painkilling properties, but his breaths were still concerningly shallow. He wanted nothing more than to sprint full speed back to the house but worried the movement would only exacerbate Wolfie’s injuries.

He wasn’t completely sure he was okay with letting you take his dog from him—not wanting to miss any precious time he might have left—but he agreed that it was worth a shot to bring him to the vet clinic, even if he couldn’t join you.

He glanced over at you, your teeth gnawing into your bottom lip as you silently walked beside him, and was at least glad you were here with him in this nightmare. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to do this alone.

Eventually, you made it to the house, and he moved aside to let you open the door for him. You both rushed into the building, you grabbing your first-aid kit and a pair of scissors.

You were quick to find the proper bandages, and Leon just held Wolfie’s body out so you could cut off the bloodied strips of his shirt and re-wrap the wounds. Your hands were shaking, but you were careful and methodical, so he didn’t comment on it.

When you finished, you grabbed a blanket and a towel, laying them on the dining table so Leon could bundle the dog tightly inside to protect him from the rain. It was a bit of a walk to the hunting lodge, after all.

You moved away to wash your hands and find your car keys, but Leon could only stare down at your leg as you came back into the room. There were mud and grass stains, which he expected, though he was caught off guard by the knee of your jeans being torn, bright red trickling down your shin in a small but steady stream.

“What happened to your leg?” he questioned, unable to recall when you could have gotten the injury.

“Oh, it's nothing. I just tripped when I was chasing after you. Nearly lost you completely because of it, but I found you pretty fast,” you told him nonchalantly as you packed your bag.

He felt his stomach drop at your words, realizing that he hadn’t once looked back to check on you during his mad dash to find Wolfie. The thought that you were hurt and lost in the middle of the woods during a storm that scared you, and he just left you there, making bile rise to his throat.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I should have waited for you… I didn’t even know you weren’t behind me anymore…”

You shook your head, smiling at him, but the expression couldn’t hide the exhaustion in your eyes. “It’s okay, I promise. You were worried about Wolfie. I don’t blame you.”

“It’s not okay,” he seethed, his own self-hatred pooling into his chest. “I left you alone in a storm! In the dark! What if that bear was still around, huh? It could have killed you and I left you there, with nothing to defend yourself with!”

“Leon, I’m fine. Nothing happened beyond this little cut.” Your voice was calm and he wished he could hate it. Hate you for how you could talk him into or out of almost anything.

It had been mere days. He didn’t know you, and yet he trusted you implicitly. Trusted you with the life of his only companion.

And then, when he asked you to trust in him, he had sabotaged it in an instant.

He didn’t respond, knowing he might say something he’d regret, so he only watched as you quickly rolled up your pant leg to blot and disinfect the cut. He disliked seeing you in pain, witnessing the way your face screwed up as you used peroxide on the small wound—heard the hiss you made as it bubbled up on your broken skin.

You were wrapping one of the extra bandages over it when Leon looked out the window, the storm only hitting harder as the hours passed. “Maybe we should wait it out. You shouldn’t be driving in this.”

You sighed as you unrolled the leg of your jeans, walking over to stare into the dark with him. “Under normal circumstances, you couldn’t pay me to go out in this weather. But I don’t think we have time to waste, Leon.”

You both glanced over at Wolfie on the table, wrapped up and hopefully comfortable in the blanket. Leon had no choice in this if he didn’t want to lose his dog.

He was meant to protect him and now he was sending him off with someone most people would call a stranger.

Any quality of his that could be halfway useful in this situation, and he wasn’t even there when Wolfie was attacked. And now his only companion was bleeding out on his dining table and he could do nothing to stop it but put him in someone else’s care and hope he lived.  

Leon had all this strength, all these heightened senses. His entire body was deemed a weapon. And yet he couldn’t even save his dog.

What was the point of any of it, then?

And what would he have done if you weren’t there to help him? Watch Wolfie slowly die, helpless to prevent it?

Worse still, what if it was you who had been attacked?

He imagined your lifeless body lying in his arms, frightened eyes wide and staring off into nothing, drenched in blood that wouldn’t stop pouring out of you, and he could do absolutely. Fucking. Nothing.

“Come on, Leon. We have to go,” came your gentle voice, pulling him out of his dark thoughts. 

He only nodded in response, grabbing Wolfie and heading back out into the downpour, beyond the safety of his home.

The two of you trudged in silence through the village, the storm raging above your heads. He could practically sense your anxiety coming off of you in waves, but you were doing your best to remain stoic. He didn’t know if it was to calm yourself or him, but he appreciated the attempt.  

Finally, you made it to the hunter’s lodge, and you spoke up as soon as the door shut out the torrent. “I was wondering, how did you know where Wolfie was? Back there in the forest?”

“The storm dampened it, but I could hear him whimpering from the path. When I got close enough, I could smell the blood.”

“Right, super senses. Thank god for ‘em.”

He glanced at you sharply. “I’d rather have stopped him from getting hurt in the first place.”

“Hey, I know this sucks, but he’s alive and he’s going to stay that way if I have a say in it.”

He really took you in at that. Your face was wet, strands of your hair sticking to your forehead, but the fire in your eyes…

He had no way to know if things would work out the way you wanted, but your conviction—your unyielding, infectious hope—quelled the needling fear, if only for a moment. 

He might not believe in god, but angels must be real if you were standing beside him.

You made it to the car shortly after, Leon gently placing Wolfie into the backseat as you threw your bag into the passenger side and sat behind the wheel.

You turned the ignition, the vehicle roaring to life as Leon looked down at you, urging, “Please be careful. I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”

“I will be. I promise.” Before you closed the door, you glanced back up at him, asking, “What are you going to do while we’re gone?”

He clenched his clawed hands into fists, feeling the sharp edges dig into his skin as he grated out, “I’m going to kill that fucking bear.”

You looked shocked by his words but nodded in agreement. “Okay. Good luck.”

And with that, you closed the door.

Leon stepped back to let you drive off, knowing that the fate of his companion was out of his hands.

He exhaled harshly and turned on his heels, ready for the hunt.

Now this is what he was good for.

Shifting onto all fours, Leon was quick to shed his more human qualities for the sake of the kill, sprinting faster than he ever had on his legs alone. He focused solely on his senses to direct him through the downpour and to his prey, feeling his claws digging into the wet earth below.

As he had told you earlier, the storm dampened his abilities, but that wouldn’t stop him from reaching his objective.

In fact, it only made him more hellbent on completing it. 

It took him nearly an hour to find where the massive animal was lurking: a cave not far from where he had found Wolfie bleeding into the mud.

Despite its size, there was not much of a fight as Leon latched those deadly teeth of his around its throat and ripped. It barely had time to even register him launching at it before it was wheezing and choking on its own blood.

In this form, Leon was too proficient at killing. A part of him—deep, deep down—wanted to take his time tearing the beast limb from limb, listen to it roar and whine in agony before he finally put it out of its misery.

When its jilted movements eventually stilled, blood coating the cave floor and Leon from his mouth to the knees of his dirty pants, he stumbled back into the wall and closed his eyes tightly.

Vengeance. It was something he understood, but he didn’t see the point of it. Blood for blood’s sake never sat right with him. He only sought to kill out of necessity—to survive.

And yet, here he was, bloodlust finally fading as the bear’s large corpse laid before his weary gaze.

He could pretend all he wanted that this was an act of protection, a means to prevent further attacks in the future, but the sadistic glee he felt when his teeth sunk into warm flesh… there was nothing to excuse that.

This bear was simply living as it was born to do, even in its aggression.

Maybe Leon really was losing his humanity. Not a descent into a mindless killing machine, but a dissipation of self—fully aware of his own cruelty, but basking in it instead of rebuking it. 

He wasn’t sure which version scared him most.

He had to make this worth it, then. He had to alleviate this burning shame and break apart the guilt sitting heavy in his gut like a stone.

And so, with care, he carved up the carcass of the once dignified beast and devoured it, leaving only bones and fur in his wake.

It was the only form of reverence he could convey.

He dug a shallow hole in the mud beside the cave, laying the gory remains inside before covering it once more.

The storm had finally started to clear as he finished the task, the scent of petrichor not quite able to hide that of blood. 

Unsure of how long it would take for you to return with news of Wolfie’s condition, he rushed over to the hunter’s lodge to wait out the hours.

They passed slowly. Agonizingly. All he could do was curl in on himself and sit just inside the door of the old building, wet with rain and blood and mud. 

He once thought his initial transformation was the worst he had ever felt, that it was rock bottom. Before that, it had been what transpired in this village. And before that, it had been the disaster of Raccoon City.

He realized bitterly there was always further to fall.

He wasn’t sure why you were so adamant to befriend him like this. To help him. Was this pity? Was Leon some charity case for you? 

But then he thought of the way you smiled at him, the look on your face as he joined you in the cold water of the lake, the way you drifted to him like you were caught in his orbit and couldn’t fight the pull. 

The thought that maybe, just maybe, you felt the way he did… it was a jolt across his slumped form.

However, nothing could change what he was. His nature, it was a vicious one. And someday, you might not survive the animal that unfurled inside of him—through him.

Whatever happened after tonight, he knew one thing: his only escape was death.

He would simply wait out the end of your trip, selfishly wanting to wring out any joy he might find in your company, and if Wolfie survived the night, he would send him home with you to live out the rest of his days. He was certain you would take good care of him, provide for him better than Leon could ever hope.

But, he was reminded, Wolfie might not survive.

And it was Leon’s neglect that was to blame.

Useless, useless, useless, he repeated like a mantra in his head. 

He never imagined he’d have more to lose than he already did. More to ruin.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, the dawn breaking up the night. The sun’s warmth upon his skin did little to lighten his mood—as it burned more than soothed—but then he thought of the way your soft flesh felt against his and he nearly fell into a dream, eyes drifting shut.

He shot up suddenly at the sound of an approaching vehicle, though, his misery morphing into an all-consuming apprehension.

Was he prepared to grieve?

Your car finally pulled up near the lodge, and he rushed to the side of it, his heart palpitating as he stared into the backseat window.

He saw Wolfie laying there, breathing slow and steady.

He was alive.

Leon had never felt so relieved. 

He turned to face you as you opened the door, looking up at him with tired eyes.

Your expression turned to full-blown concern when you took in his appearance, reaching out to touch the blood staining his bare chest. “Are you okay?”

Leon placed his fingers over your hand, holding it close to him, the warmth of it more of a balm than the sun ever was. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.” 

You sighed, eased by his words. “You found the bear, I take it?”

He nodded solemnly. “It won’t bother us anymore.” You didn’t reply and he looked back at Wolfie’s unconscious form once more. “How did everything go? Will he be alright?”

“It went great. He got stitches and a blood transfusion, and they kept him overnight for observation. Went ahead and got him a few shots when they said he was in the clear this morning. He took it all like a champ.” You dropped your hand, to Leon’s chagrin, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. “They told me to change his bandages every few hours and monitor for any infection. Gave me antibiotics and a few days' worth of painkillers. He should be just fine.”

“What did you tell them about the injury?” he questioned, suddenly concerned by what information you might have let slip in your distress.

“Don’t worry, I told them he got attacked while I was out camping. No specifics, I promise.” A look of realization then dawned on your features, to his confusion, before you began sifting through your bag.

You then pulled out a blue collar from its depths. It jingled as you held it up to Leon, shot tags dangling behind a bone-shaped one at the front, sporting the dog’s name and what he assumed was your number. 

“Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it,” you said, shrugging as you stood from the car.

A flood of emotions washed over Leon, then, namely an overwhelming sense of gratitude for what you had done for him. It went deeper than the collar in your hand, deeper than even saving his dog. 

You had faced a storm for him, soaked to the bone and afraid. You suffered being lost in darkness with an injured knee, even if it was only briefly. You drove through a torrent and stayed up all night to make sure his companion would live. You witnessed him covered in blood and filth and you reached out…

You were always reaching out.

Before he could think it through, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. He felt your plush body pressed against his hard edges—heard the way you gasped in shock. You almost immediately settled into it, though, holding him in turn despite the drying grime flaking onto your clothes.

“Thank you, for everything,” he murmured, face buried into your neck, the natural smell of you drifting to his nose. It was all at once sweet and grounding.

There was so much more he wanted to say, but this would have to suffice, the words caught in his throat.

“I’d do it all again in a heartbeat,” you whispered, your small hands sliding across his back soothingly.

The warmth of you made him ache, made his eyes burn, never wanting to let you go.

He knew he must.

The walk back to the house was a silent one, the only sounds the rainwater dripping onto the ground and the squelching of mud underfoot, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The two of you were just exhausted and still reeling from how the night had spiraled to near tragedy. 

Leon glanced down at Wolfie’s sleeping form in his arms, so drugged up on pain meds he likely wouldn’t wake for anything. He gave the dog’s head a gentle stroke, beyond relieved that, for now, it wouldn’t be the last time. 

The three of you entered Leon’s home, deciding that you would bring Wolfie’s bed and blankets downstairs, nestling them beside the fireplace to keep him comfortable and prevent him from exerting himself more than necessary once he was up and moving again. 

Once the dog was settled in, Leon could only stand and stare, worried that if he took his eyes off of him for a moment, he might die in his absence.

“I’ll make you up a bath, Leon,��� you said quietly from the kitchen, already bringing a large pot to boil on the stove. “You could really use one.”

He sighed, finally dragging his gaze from Wolfie so that he could level it on you. “Don’t worry about that. I can just clean up at the lake.”

You huffed indignantly, approaching him and taking him in—in all his filthy, monstrous glory. “No way. You need a nice hot bath, and that’s that.”

“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he replied, scoffing good-naturedly. In truth, the thought of you caring for him like this made his heart beat a little faster. 

“Oh, I know,” you said with a smile, one that was so sweet, he would hold on to the sight of it for the rest of his life, “but it’s what you like about me.”

He found himself chuckling for the first time since last night, always so surprised by your ability to pull him out of his misery.

“Not the only thing,” he said lowly, fingers twitching at his sides to reach out and touch you again. 

Your cheeks flushed pink at his words, but you shook your head and laughed. “Go on, sit down for a bit while I finish what I started.”

He wanted to argue—to assist you in your task—because being waited on like this was something he had never been used to. Instead, he did as he was told, plopping down next to Wolfie on the floor and petting him to pass the time. 

He had almost fallen asleep again, unable to fight his eyes from drooping closed, when you called to him, informing him his bath was ready. He stood and stretched, yawning as he met you at the entrance of the side room. 

“Here,” you told him, a pile of his clothes, a towel, and a washcloth in your arms, “knock yourself out. Well, don’t really.” 

He took them gratefully, smiling at your ridiculous comment as he thanked you and disappeared behind the corner. 

He quickly shed what was left of his tattered clothes, dropping them haphazardly onto the floor before stepping into the tub and lowering himself in the water.

It was hot, but it didn’t burn. In fact, it was rather soothing as it lapped at his skin. The tub was almost too small for him, however, his knees peeking out of the water from having to fold his long legs.

It was cramped but not completely uncomfortable. He sunk in a little further, letting out a pleased sigh. 

This was definitely better than the lake, that was for sure. 

Before he could relax fully, he caught sight of something on the side table next to him. He turned his head and instantly regretted it.

It was a makeup mirror you had brought, and it was angled in a way he could stare directly at his own reflection.

It made him flinch.

He didn’t look away, however, gritting his teeth against the image of himself he had loathed from the moment he transformed. But not only was he faced with his monstrous visage once more, he could now see the blood and dirt caked onto his skin, exposing him for what he truly was.

Something that was meant to kill.  

He fought the urge to shatter the glass, not wanting to destroy something that belonged to you, instead leaning over and turning it away.

As he laid back in the water and began scrubbing the grime from his body with the rag you had provided for him, a barrage of thoughts overtook his tired mind, all of them relating to you. 

He couldn’t bear to look at himself, yet you rarely took your eyes off of him.

He was disgusted by his own existence and the form he was forced to live in, yet you treated him like he was normal. Like he was a person. 

He quickly finished bathing, the water starting to cool, but he was in no rush to leave, allowing himself this moment of peace and to think. 

He rested his clawed hand against his chest and could still feel where your small palm had been placed there, could still feel the way your flesh gave under his tight hold when had embraced you. The warmth that radiated from your very being.

His hand lowered mindlessly as he lingered on the image of you stripping bare to him on that boat, offering him your impish little smirk and batted lashes over twinkling eyes. 

It lowered further as he thought of your lips, wondered how they’d feel against his skin—how soft they would be.

He hissed as his hand gently wrapped around the base of his cock, almost shocked to feel it was already achingly hard.

Leon couldn’t remember the last time he had touched himself like this.

In the beginning, he worried he would hurt himself, what with the small daggers that were his new fingers. Eventually, he dared to wander—carefully, of course—and soon it was one of the few things human left of him, to have this libido to relieve. But as the years passed and his body changed, he hardly had the urge.

And now here he was, fisting his cock at the thought of you. 

He held back a groan as he slid his thumb across his slit, imagining it was your tongue instead.

He could picture your pretty eyes looking up at him as you took him into your mouth, how you’d tease him with kitten licks and the gentle scrape of your teeth until he was begging you for more, how you’d pull away just to level him with that mischievous smirk you wore so well before you’d cave and take him to the hilt.

Leon gasped as he picked up the speed of his pumping fist, lifting his hips above the cooled water, trying to avoid sloshing it onto the floor with the motion. 

He then thought of your cunt, how sweet it would taste as he laved it with his tongue—mused about what precious little sounds he could pull from those plush, kissable lips of yours. He could almost feel how your fingers would card through his hair, yank it to get him closer to where you wanted him; how he’d tease you the way you did him before finally conceding, your desperation for him almost more delicious than the very essence of you that he fed upon.

He grit his teeth as he neared the edge, fighting to hold back.

Too soon. It was too soon.

He paused his movements, taking in a slow deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart, letting the wave of pleasure that nearly crested over him fade to a lapping tide.

His mind slipped back into his fantasy, then, needing to finish what he started before he was driven mad with desire.

He imagined you underneath him now, bodies flush together, the head of his cock sliding against you—not a taunt but a preparation for what was to come.

He wondered how tight you’d be as he pushed inside, how warm and wet and inviting, squeezing his hand as he emulated the scene from his head.

How well would you take him?

Although much of his body had changed over the years—grown—what sat beneath his belt had not. This was not a concern for him, however, having been well-endowed even for a human man of his former stature. In fact, he almost seemed more… proportionate… now.

Would he be too much?

Or would you plead for him to go harder and faster? Deeper?

Leon couldn’t stop the near growl that escaped him as he imagined the way you’d cry out into the crook of his neck, his name like a breathless prayer against his skin. He could feel you wrap your legs around him, scraping your nails across his spine hard enough to draw blood. 

He was on the precipice once more, but this time he didn’t hold back.

He thought of you looking into his eyes as you came undone beneath him, wide and full of unshed tears, overwhelmed by the euphoria coursing through you. His body shuttered at the idea of your walls tightening impossibly around him, pulsing and wet.

He managed to bite back the whine that clawed up his throat as his cock twitched, his seed spurting across his chest and stomach.

He collapsed back into the tub, his mind so gloriously blank and full of fuzzy warmth as he caught his breath.

And then the realization hit him.

He had just masturbated. To you. While you were just on the other side of the wall, without even a door to fully separate the room. 

He was flooded with remorse, then, wondering if he had managed to keep quiet enough so that you wouldn’t hear or suspect his reckless sin against you.

He stilled, listening intently to any sounds in the house, his inhuman ears able to pick out the overlapping breaths of you and Wolfie over the whistling wind outside, right there in the dining room. 

He swallowed the lump of shame that formed in his throat and roughly wiped the spend from his flesh, the harsh scrape of coarse fabric a small punishment for his transgression.

As he dried himself and changed into sleepwear, he wondered how disgusted you’d be with him if you knew just what he was thinking.

Surely, you’d never look at him the same.

He wanted to blame his exhaustion from a sleepless night, but he knew deep down this was bound to happen eventually. Your very existence was a temptation to him, after all. 

He took a steadying breath before he finally turned the corner to face you, pleasantly surprised and more than a little relieved that you were fast asleep, curled up on his couch with a blanket draped across your legs.

He smiled softly as he approached you, all worry forgotten as a swell of affection replaced it.

You looked so sweet laying there, head resting upon the pillow you must have brought from upstairs and your pressed hands, your breaths puffing out a strand of hair hanging over your mouth. Leon quietly chuckled as he tucked it behind your ear and pulled the blanket up and around your shoulders to keep you warm before standing upright once more.

He knew as he gazed upon you that regardless of whether you returned his feelings or not, his own might never leave him. He would have to make his peace with that.

He sighed, closing his eyes tightly before opening them once more, deciding that was a problem for later.

He then sat beside Wolfie, checking on him briefly before laying down right there on the floor, exhaustion overtaking any real need for comfort. Not like he hadn’t done it the first night of your arrival, anyway.

As he drifted into a deep slumber…

He couldn’t help but dream of you.

+++

The night had been a long one.

You had sat in the emergency room of the vet clinic with Wolfie for hours, watching as they tried to keep him alive.

You would never get the image of his terrified eyes out of your head, looking to you for help or for comfort as people he didn’t know surrounded him while he couldn’t even move.

You didn’t let your tears escape until they told you he was stable, locking yourself in their bathroom across the hall and sobbing into your hands, the events of the night finally catching up to you.

He would live.

You weren’t sure you could forgive yourself if he didn’t. You wondered if Leon would have.

Oh, Leon, you thought worriedly, I hope you’re okay.

You wished you could get ahold of him somehow to let him know Wolfie was alive, aware of the fact that even if he owned a cell phone, the village had no service anyway. You were half tempted to drive out to see him and tell him the news, but you didn’t want to leave Wolfie alone for that long.

You then recalled the bear and Leon’s promise to kill it, hoping desperately it didn’t hurt him. You didn’t know what you’d do if you drove back just to find him bleeding out in the mud like he had found Wolfie, the thought piercing your heart like a bullet.

To calm yourself, you replayed the day in your head, focusing only on all the good parts.

You thought of how he opened up to you at his friends’ graves, how he held your hand as you sat in the dirt together. 

You thought of how he slipped his palms across your waist on the boat, how he spoke so lowly in your ear, how your faces got so close in the water. 

You thought of how he stroked your hair while you sat by the fireplace, the affection so freely given it was as if he couldn’t stop himself from touching you.

You thought about how concerned he was for you when you returned to the house after finding Wolfie, how he was upset you had gotten hurt and lost in the woods and blamed himself. 

And then you thought of what he said before you left for town:

“I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”

Those words were looping in your brain over and over.

You knew he was just concerned with your safety, that he’d probably feel guilty if something happened to you while you were trying to save his dog, but the way he said it… The way he looked at you…

“I can’t lose you.”

It was like he meant it.

Despite your anxiety, you managed to nap a bit on the bench outside of the observation room, asking the veterinarian to wake you when Wolfie came to.

In the morning, while he was still out cold, you took a brief stroll outside of the clinic, making your way into the neighboring pet shop to bide the time. 

As you passed the shelves of toys and supplies, your eyes caught on a large blue collar, realizing that it was about Wolfie’s size. You held it aloft as you considered buying it, thinking it was almost silly to put a collar on a half-feral dog.

But then you thought of the other outsiders that might appear in the village every so often. You worried they might dog-nap Wolfie for his friendliness or kill him for his intimidating appearance, deciding it may be worth the purchase, just in case.

Besides, Leon seemed drawn to the color blue, if the majority of his shirts and his preference regarding the castle’s art was anything to go by. It was oddly endearing imagining the scorpion man and his wolf-dog matching in such a way.

After buying it and getting an engraved name tag, you returned to the clinic, petting Wolfie and offering him soft words of encouragement as the vet gave him some much-needed shots.

The rain finally subsided as you made your way back to the village, your nerves still alight despite Wolfie’s improved condition. 

When you finally pulled up to the dirt road near the lodge, you were overjoyed to see Leon appear beside the car.

Your heart was in your throat, however, when got a good look at him, his face and still-shirtless torso covered in dirt and so much blood.

You couldn’t stop the instinctual need to touch him, reaching out and placing your hand against his stained chest. “Are you okay?”

He gently laid his clawed fingers across your knuckles, pressing your palm into his skin, as if your very being was a solace to him. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.” 

Your relief at that was palpable, beyond overjoyed that he was perfectly safe. Though, the blood had to come from somewhere, and it wasn’t all Wolfie’s. “You found the bear, I take it?”

Leon’s eyes seemed to darken, but he nodded, replying, “It won’t bother us anymore.”

The answer was jarringly cryptic, and Leon seemed more upset to admit he killed the bear than you would have thought, considering how eager he was to do it before you left.

You shook away your thoughts as he asked you questions, the conversation turning to Wolfie’s health.

You then recalled your purchase at the pet store, pulling it out of your bag and waving it in front of Leon. “Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it.”

You stood from the car, ready to get back to the house and take a nice, long nap, when Leon wrapped his arms around you, to your utter shock. 

He held you close to him, the strength of it enough to feel your bodies meld together, but not enough to hurt you.

It took you a moment to register it all, short-circuiting at the feeling of him against you, but you eventually hugged him in return, shivering as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck and let his breath fan across your skin.

“Thank you. For everything.” His voice was tight in his throat and it made your heart ache to hear it. 

It was the least you could do, a part of you deep down blaming yourself for what happened to Wolfie, because you had kept Leon out longer than he wanted. What if Wolfie had only been in the woods waiting for the two of you to come back? Maybe if you had agreed to return to the house before the storm hit, none of this would have happened to begin with. 

Instead of saying that, you only replied, “I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.”

It was still the truth, as you would do anything to protect this half-man and his dog—willing to suffer more than just a nasty cut and a sleepless night if it meant they were safe.

Leon pulled away, to your despair, and grabbed Wolfie, the three of you heading back to the house.

As you set up Wolfie near the fireplace, you couldn’t help but notice the way Leon wouldn’t take his eyes off the sleeping dog, and although you understood it, he needed to wash the blood and grime from his body and get some much-needed rest.

If your night had been rough, you couldn’t imagine what his had been like.

He argued against you making him up a hot bath, but you wouldn’t hear it, telling him your decision was final. 

“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he said in faux annoyance.  

You replied, smiling, “Oh, I know, but it’s what you like about me.”

“Not the only thing.” The words and the way he said them made a tingle run up your spine, but you were quick to shoo him off, taking a deep breath as you went about your task of filling the tub.

You changed quickly into your pajamas before sending Leon to his bath, flopping onto the couch with a quiet groan after fetching your pillow and a blanket from upstairs.

You thought that maybe you could sleep forever as you shifted, getting comfortable on the old piece of furniture. You wanted to wait for Leon, though, staring up at the ceiling in quiet cogitation.

Despite your fear that you were the reason Wolfie was out in the storm in the first place, you couldn’t understate your role in saving his life. Had you not been there, Leon wouldn’t have been able to do anything, and you could sense the distress that caused him at the realization.

You worried deeply about what might happen after you leave.

A stray tear escaped your eye and you battled the awful thought of one or both of them dying out here in this village, all alone, with no one to call for. 

Wolfie was old and this place was dangerous. And even if Leon ended up being fine physically, you knew his loneliness would eat him alive, especially with the inevitable loss of his dog an ever-looming threat.

You squeezed your eyes shut, wiping them to stop you from crying.

You thought about Leon’s smile instead. Thought of his voice and his laugh and the way he looked at you. Like you were normal. Like you were important.

You could still feel the way his arms wrapped around you, how safe you felt. How cherished.

You sighed deeply, turning over to stare at Wolfie, watching the slow rise and fall of his side as he breathed. You reached out your hand to him, gently stroking his head, his fur soft and warm.

You wondered as your eyes drooped shut and your mind began to fade to unconsciousness, your fingers slowly falling away from Wolfie’s form:

How could you leave them now?

--------------------

Masterlist | Previous | Next

[buckyarchives]

The Domestic Life Of Living With a Runaway Assassin [chapter one.]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x soulmate!reader

summary: you hate many things in life. You hate soulmates. You hate the avengers. You hate guns. You hate lost snorers and complicated relationships.

Bucky Barnes is associated with all of those things, yet you can find yourself hating him

W.c: 6.9k

Author note: did not think this was going to actually get notes. I forgot how bad my wiring was back then and going through and rewriting all of it is just. Ugh. I’m too lazy.

masterlist

Today was going down as the most inconvenient day ever. 

It was 10:30 pm, and you were sitting in some stupid coffee shop, the only one that had free Wi-Fii in your area because yours is down for the next 24 hours. The coffee tastes like shit because of-fucking-course it does. This place closes in 30 minutes and you have all that time to send in all your week's work to your boss, which is also due in 30 minutes. You weren't even going to think about the fact you spent all day having to listen to ongoing construction outside and having to run your roommate all around Queens to help her get comfy and organized at her dorm. 

You wanted to kick someone, honestly. 

As you tried your best to focus and very frantically type away at your keyboard. You were probably going to break your keyboard at some point tonight, either by typing too hard or just simply throwing it across the fucking room in a fit of rage. 

A woman, maybe in her mid-30s – if it matters, walks up to you and reminds you that the place closes in half an hour and gives you a free, pity coffee. Probably noticing the growing under eyes bags or seeing you yawn into your hand every 7 minutes, give or take. 

You had chugged the coffee and put everything you had into the next 20-something minutes and you sat back after your third look over everything to make sure you didn't miss any mistakes that could possibly get you fired. You were finally done and could go home. 

Closing your laptop and packing your shit up, you wave to the lovely lady probably waiting for you to leave so she can close up. But because nothing goes your way and New York is just the most wonderful place to live, especially with the avengers. You don't make it out the door before you hear rapid gunfire rattle your ears and suddenly you’re ducking beneath the first table you find. 

Your day could not get any worse, you thought.

Maybe you could have just crawled up in a ball and accepted your fate of being killed midst the 7th random gunfight of the month, you could even make it on the news! Nope, fate had other ideas and someone just has to save you. 

Your ears filter out everything besides the sound of gunfire, glass shattering, and people screaming and yelling. It's too fucking late for this. A firm hand grabs yours and before you can get whisked away and snatch your bag because your life is worth risking for your laptop and books. You swear you got whiplash from how fast you moved away from the scene, only seeing a black blur of a human in front of you. 

You regain your senses, most of them. After being pushed and crouched in a back alley behind the now-destroyed coffee shop, you hoped the lady was okay. catching your breath and hearing frantic shuffling next to you. A man, tall and built, dressed entirely in black with a plethora of weapons attached to his body. He glances at you for a moment and you think he looks familiar, maybe he was an Avenger. God, you hate the Avengers. His eyes continued to scan the dark area, before settling down next to you, eyes trained on one end of the ally. 

He has a messy mop of a head, you can't really see his eyes clearly but you definitely notice the insane-Robert-Pattinson's-batman-amounts of black eyeshadow around his eyes. He has a black mask on too. Okay, so edgy Avengers. Haven't heard of him on the news yet. Like you even watch the news. 

You must have been staring for a little too long and too hard because the mystery Avenger takes notice of it and his bushy eyebrows furrow at you, looking at you like you had personally offended him. Then, you notice his eyes and are a little, only a little, taken aback by their intense blueness and beauty of them. You barely notice what he says. “I'm sorry, you probably don't feel very safe with me.”

You scoff. “I don't even know who you are.”

The emo Avenger freezes and looks at you with wide eyes like you grew two heads. Or you were the crazy one between the two of you. “What?” you question him and he mumbled and sputtered under the mask. You motion for the mask, telling him to take it off. And he slowly rips it off his face, his very pink lips are parted and he's breathing hard and fast. 

“You.. what did you say, your words.”

Wait.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Your mouth falls open and you really want to kick something, or him. “You're my soulmate?” you said maybe a little too loud and it came out harsher than intended. He looks hurt by your tone and if it wasn't for the shock taking over your head, you would have felt bad. 

Today is the most inconvenient and the worst day of your life.

“Wow doll, you're the first person I've met that sounds disappointed to find their soulmate.” you ignore his comment and especially ignore the nickname, hoping that wouldn't stick. You wanted to go the fuck home. 

“Can I leave?”

Your soulmate narrowed his eyes at you. “No.”

“Why.” your eyes narrow back into his and just for a moment you realize you’re now in an impromptu staring contest with this man in some dirty back alley, hoping you don't get shot. “Listen, man, I have work tomorrow and I'd rather not get shot or dragged into some avengers bullshit.

He rolls his eyes, but you're not done. “I really don't like the Avengers. Seriously, you couldn't have chosen any other job? The number of cars I've seen the hulk throw and then miss–”

“I'm not an Avenger.” his bushy eyebrows furrow, plus the black war paint makes him look intimidating. If you weren't pissed,  you might have been a little scared. Only a little.

“You really don't know who I am?”

“Am I supposed to?” you fire back. The ego of this guy!

He sputtered for a moment, “No, I guess not.”

your back hits the brick wall, sigh to yourself, and slump back down. You made yourself small. Now nursing a monstrous headache.

A frustrated grunt comes from the dark brunette. “Ok, ok, ok, ok… I'm going to walk you home.”

“No.”

“Yes,” he says, you just realize you don't know his name. “You said it yourself, you don't want to get shot. I’ll make sure that you don’t.”

You were really tired, letting people win wasn't something you did often. You'll make an exception. You huff and blow some stray hair away from your face. “What's your name?”

He pauses, “Bucky.”

“Well, Bucky.” you bring yourself to your feet. “You bring me safely home, quickly with no little side quest. That's it. And then you turn around and don't come back to my place.” you grab a hold of his hand to drag him along but you're met with cold, hard, metal. He flinches out of his skin, and metal. Your eyes travel up his arm. 

“You’re an amputee?”

Bucky looks confused. “What?”

“Nevermind.” you shook your head and continued to drag him along to your apartment. You were so ready to go the fuck to bed. You hoped this walk home wasn't painful, but when do you get what you want?

Bucky was confused. Your pace matched his as you walked side by side to your apartment. The gentle wind brushed against his skin and flew through his brown locks. He was walking next to his soulmate. You were his soulmate and it seemed you wanted nothing to do with him. 

Bucky knew very well he was way out of his time but he couldn't come up with a coherent answer to why. Was this new generation against the universe? Was this some weird trend? Unless you lied to him and did know who the winter soldier was, that would make sense. But, you seemed pretty persistent that you did, in fact, not know him (which the more he thought about it– he felt good that you didn't know). You must not read the paper, or watch the news. You thought he was a goddamn avenger!

He glances over to you, your lips. You were chewing on your bottom lip. It was painted red. You look beautiful with the dim yellow street light shining down on your face. “Don't do that.”

Bucky's voice is soft and gentle. He doesn't recognize it.

Your eyes trail to him. “Do what?” you ask

“That.” Bucky pauses in his spot on the sidewalk, takes a few steps towards you and he brings his flesh hand up to your mouth, slowly grazing his thumb across your split lip. “Don't chew so hard on your lip like that. I'm sure it hurts.”

Bucky's eyes are trained onto your lips, he doesn't dare look up at your eyes. But you are staring at him with widened eyes. You felt like you were on fire.

Too close. You pull away. “Okay, this is my apartment. Bye, Bucky.” 

And just like that, you're quickly walking into your apartment lobby, you glance back at him and give Bucky a sincere smile before leaving his sights. Bucky stood there feeling like an idiot, completely forgetting any government or hydra issues he was dealing with earlier.

Bucky was going to walk away but his intrusive, no,  protective – as he would describe it – thoughts took over. He jogged to the other side of the building, hoping he would be able to figure out which apartment you lived in without going too far. He saw a light turn on and noticed a figure walking by, your figure. This wasn't stalking, no. Bucky was just making sure you made it to your home, safe and sound, he was just looking out for his soulmate. As he should. So, not stalking. And maybe, if bucky only really needed it, he would remember that window so he could pay you a visit. Not stalking you, he just cares about you. For some reason.

Bucky can hear Steve calling him a punk in the back of his head. He missed steve.

On the other end, you dragged yourself into your apartment and dropped your bag the moment you reached your room. Not caring to clean yourself up you flopped on your bed, with a long and painful groan. You felt a small weight down on your bed and you turned your head to see our cat sitting down next to your head. 

You smile and bring your hand to pet his head. “My savior. You are the only man I need.”

A soft purr vibrates from the felines, followed by a meow.

You sigh. “You're right. I need a shower.” 

Your mind wandered in the shower, as the water trickled down your body you couldn't help but bring your hand to your shoulder blade. Your finger traced around the words on your back. Your lip tug at your bottom lip. You nibbled at the already raw skin. Don't do that. You could practically feel the warmth of his hand on your face as your mind flashes back to when he was standing so close to you just moments ago. 

Bucky. There was no way you were going to let him haunt your head now. You turned the warm water off and grabbed your towel in annoyance. Drying yourself off and heading the fuck to bed. Praying that maybe when you wake up this whole day would be a dream. No soulmates, no getting shot at, and absolutely no getting flustered outside your apartment by someone you met an hour ago. 

–

 Bucky couldn't wait to see you again. He has been on the run from Hydra and Steve Rogers for too long; bucky had a hint on who would find him first. One night everything got to be too much. Parts of what hydra did to him are still very much a part of him, it was tearing him apart. It was getting harder and harder to diffrerencate what was bucky, the winter soldier, or this third feeling of pure absence of someone he didn’t know yet. He needed someone, anyone. He needed you.

You heard someone call for your name, they kept shaking you. You just wanted peaceful sleep goddamn it. You needed it. You rustled in your bed sheets, waving your hand at your roommate. She said your name again, and again, and again and ag–

“What!” you look over to see her, barely, in the dark of the room. “I'm trying to sleep!”

“There is someone in our living room.” she barely whispers.

Oh. “are you sure?” you squint at her. You don't know if she can even see you clearly enough.

“Yes.” another scared whisper.

What does a person around here have to do to get a full night's sleep for fuck sake? 

Your eyes practically roll to the back of your head. Pulling back the covers and throwing your phone at your roommate. “Call 911 if I scream or take longer than I should.” you grab the metal bat in the corner of your room.

 The fucker that decided to rob you tonight picked the wrong house, knowing the amount of pent-up rage you had; you were sure you could knock out fucking Capitan America if you wanted. Just imagine your boss's face. You sigh, loud and hard footsteps echoed through your apartment. Rounding a corner and pulling the bat high up and–

Cling!

You braced for impact. You don't get it. You look up at whoever, whatever you hit. “You!”

You are angrier than you were when interrupted from your sleep. What is he doing here? In the middle of your living room, at least he's not wearing his stupid, edgy superhero get-up. Just normal clothing and a baseball cap, but you could see the outline of a gun through his jacket. 

“Can you put the bat down?” Bucky’s holding the bat, stopping you from landing a hit to his head. 

“No. what are you doing in my living room.”

His face scrunches. Pulling the bat down and yanking it from your hands. That fake arm of his was stronger than you expected. Bucky lets out a pained sigh, “I don't know but will you just listen to me and not hit me, please?”

You feel bad. “Maybe.”

Bucky looks at you and you swear he looks like he’s going to cry. The moonlight shining through your windows makes his face look sharper, defining his features more. You think maybe this is a dream because he looks really good. Bucky looks at you like you are his whole world, or maybe you will be someday soon. “I just…”

You’re quiet, you listening to him. Bucky realizes that maybe he will cry tonight. “I just need to talk to someone, anyone. Be with someone right now or… or…” he trails off, not wanting to think about what else could happen.

you feel terrible. “Do you not have someone else than a soulmate you've only known for an hour?” you joke, but he looks at you like it's definitely not a joke. Bucky's eyes are trained on the floor as he shakes his head.

His head jerks up when your roommate walks into the room. “Do I still call 911?”

“No!.” you and bucky yelled at the same time. Eyes snapping to each other after the syllable left your mouth, eyebrows furrowed and spite heavy on your face. Whilst Bucky looked one wrong move away from a nervous breakdown. Weird dude.

You motion to your roommate to tell her to go back to bed but before you can get any words out she’s shoving past you to get too bucky. “Wait.. are you... I’ve seen you on the news.” her hand raises to her face to cover her gaping mouth. Her eyes go wide and she suddenly looks like a ghost. “Oh, my god.”

What the fuck. “Seriously, jasmine go back to bed and stop gawking at my soulmate.”

She shouts your name like your mother would when you started cussing. “You are not serious. Do you know who this is.” her pointer finger goes towards bucky aggressively. Bucky looks panicked, you wonder why but based on this mood earlier; it was best to ask questions later. It was time to play dutiful soulmate. 

“Look, jas.” you grab her by the shoulders. “I don’t know and I don’t care. Just go to bed, please?” you guide– no, drag her out of the room and give her a final nudge away, despite her weird shouts about a winter something. You couldn’t care to listen.

“I’m sorry about her. She gets paranoid.” you release a breath you forgot you were holding, followed by a plop of the couch. Bucky settles awkwardly next to you. “You really shouldn’t go breaking into people's houses, buck.”

Bucky gets whiplash at the nickname, his mind goes to Steve and suddenly he feels out of place. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, you barely hear him. “I should go, this was stupid.” Bucky goes to get up and head toward the fire escape again but you’re quick, grabbing his wrist. Bucky could have pulled away from you if he wanted, but he crumbled under your touch. Bucky holds his breath like he’s going to drown.

Bucky’s days kinda blend together. He likes routine, but there was no routine to have when you're doing what he does. You met him two weeks ago, it felt a lot more than that, or less. He couldn't tell but your touch made him feel like everything was so far away, he caught his breath for the first time in weeks. 

Bucky thought about spilling it all out, his past, his everything. But that would defeat the purpose of coming here. That talk could wait. “I'm sorry that you got me as a soulmate.”

You smack your lips and scoff. “As your body should say– uh, somewhere.” you wave your hands dramatically, “I don't even know who you are. Nothing to be sorry for, yet.”

His lip quirks up. “Except scare your roommate half to death.”

“Maybe wouldn't have happened if you used the doors.” you smile at him, Bucky’s sure he wouldn't be able to see it without the soft light of the moon shining on your face. And maybe it's just his super soldier-enhanced senses, either way, he’s soaking it up like it's the only time he’ll ever see it. 

“Doors aren’t really my thing.”

You scoff. “I'm not sure what that means but, at least go through my window next time.”

“Noted.”

“And knock!”

His lip quirk turns into a small grin. “Also noted.”

Bucky glances over at you, you’re biting your lip again. He wants to kiss you. He settles for pulling your chewed lip from under your teeth before it bleeds, just as he did that night outside your apartment. You smile, thinking that maybe you'll let him stay around for a while.

You realize that Bucky didn't walk you to your door that night, and didn't even make it inside the building. Your eyes furrow, and confusion and… amusement fills your body. “So did you stalk me the past few weeks or did you just kindly ask my landlord which unit I lived in?”

He pauses, hoping you wouldn't ask about that. “I wasn't stalking you, I just notice things.” 

You laugh out loud, and he's caught off guard by how nice it sounds ringing in his ears. “That's literally what a stalker would say.”

“I'm serious, I've been busy doing stuff these past weeks.” Bucky tried to reassure you he wasn't camping out on the roof of the building across your window like an actual stalker would. You haven't decided if you were going to believe him. You just laugh because you feel weirdly good with him in your presence. You curse to yourself, why did the universe always have to be right?

You don't care to respond so Bucky continues. “So you're not going to ask me about what your roommate was talking about.” he turns his head to look at you. He can practically see the gears turning in your head, and he gulps. 

You shake your head, eyes trained on whatever is in front of you. “Nah.” you look at him.

Bucky thinks you're the most interesting person he's met in a long time. He’ll test the waters. “What if I'm dangerous.” he narrows his eyes at you.

You narrow yours back at him. “If you're not going to kill me or you're not an avenger, I'm not too worried.”

“What do you have against the avengers?”

You groan. “It's a long story, but they are the reason I don't watch the news and why my roommate is a paranoid freak.”

Oh. so you really don't watch the news. Bucky thinks. He feels guilty when he feels a sort of relief go through his body, followed by more panic realizing he had to explain everything to you soon. Not now though, god no, not now. Maybe he could get by with not telling you at all. Bucky mentally punches himself in the face, no that wouldn't be right. Plus he was sure your roommate would babble to you about how badly the news painted him. Maybe him telling you first would be a better idea. 

“Have you ever heard of the winter soldier?”

-

The golden rays of the sun showed down onto Bucky's face, he looked over to the window hearing the loud bustling of city life below him. Your curtains are brown with white detailing. Bucky shifted on your living room couch, he gauges his mind for the memories of last night. Everything was still all so hazy. 

What day was it? Oh, last night. He tried, really, to get out the truth to you. Fumbling over his words and trying to even remember who he was, it was too much. But you, a god-given gift, told him he was too tired to talk, gave him water, and sent him off to bed on your couch. 

“You can give me your tragic backstory tomorrow, get some sleep weirdo.” you had said to him before literally pushing him onto your very comfortable couch, before returning to your room for the night.

Bucky didn't sleep, he felt oddly safe and comfortable. But he couldn't sleep. Honestly, he was close to dozing off before your roommate had woken up just before sunrise to quietly go off to work, he assumed. Bucky couldn't tell what time it was, he was guessing it was probably around 5 or 6 am. He ought to get up soon and leave. Should he leave without saying something to you? Is that rude? He was sure you'd be okay with getting him out of your hair, he was already enough of a problem to people around him. Bucky gets up to grab his boots.

“Did you even sleep?” Bucky flinches, confused as to how easy it was for you to sneak up on him. He looks up and sees you leaning against a wall, assuming you just woke up. You're still dressed in comfortable clothing, your sweater falling down, giving him a full view of your collarbone. Your skin glows in the soft sunlight. Bucky shook his head in response.

You hum, your feet shuffling across the wooden floor as you make your way into the kitchen. You start making your coffee and Bucky follows. His eyes go to the table, is he intruding if he just sits down? He stands in the doorway and watches you make your drink. You turn to bucky with an oversized mug in hand, deadpanned. “Can't believe I'm soulmates with a stalker. Sit down.” 

You motion to the seat next to you. “Not a stalker.” bucky mumbled, and you scoff.

“You want something to drink? I got tea, coffee, juice, anything your heart desires.”

Bucky pauses. “Water?” 

“Boring.” your eyes roll and you grab a bottle of water from behind you. Handing it to him, his finger brushes against yours. Bucky’s eyes dart to see your reaction, but nothing.

You get comfortable in your chair and open up your phone. Bucky is still sitting across from you, glancing between the door, window, and his water. He tries to look anywhere but at you. You quickly notice, a smart-ass comment comes to mind but you decide against it. Keeping the comfortable silence going for now.

You glance at Bucky, noticing the way his hair was still a mess from whatever he was doing last night. Quickly you realize this is the first time you've seen him in natural daylight, his eyes are beautiful and his usually dark hair looks closer to a light brunette. You could imagine going out on a date with him if he wasn't so dark and broody, but doesn't that just add to the appeal? Maybe.

You set your coffee down. “So…” trailing off, bucky finally makes eye contact with you. “You want to try again?”

Bucky's eyebrows furrow. 

“I still haven't told me who the winter soldier is and it's taking everything in me to not use the internet.” you wave your phone around in the air before setting it down next to your coffee. Bucky purses his lip. “But, I respect you and wouldn't do that.”

Bucky's eyes are trained on the table, his mind trying to find any starting point for this. Should he just tell you about hydra? Start from the beginning with the 40s, fuck, he barely remembers any of that. He's not good with words anymore.

“Can I just…” he pauses, tapping his finger on the wooden table. “Show you?”

It was a bad idea, a really bad idea. Bucky told you that but you'd instead not question him why, bucky wasn't going to elaborate on that either. With both Hydra, the US government, and Steve Rogers looking for him, being in public wasn't the safest. Especially at such a hotspot for Captain America bootlickers and history nerds. 

After many lazy complaints from you, you and bucky made your way out of your apartment together. Bucky wore the best casual disguise he could conjure up, and you and he stood in front of the Smithsonian museum.

Bucky glances over to you, a reasonably confused look plastered on your face. “Why are we at a museum?”

“Just follow me and don't draw attention to yourself, please?”

Instead, You roll your eyes and go ahead of him. “Stalker activity.” bucky hears you mumble before he follows you into the front door.

“What are you showing me, stalker.” bucky walks side by side with you, your presence is comforting in the crowded area. He noticed a group of elementary kids walking around, probably on a field trip.

“Stop calling me that.” he mumbled, “Captain America exhibit.”

Bucky looks at your hand, he could grab it. Only so he doesn't lose you in the crowd, just to keep you safe. Not because he wants to hold in, not because the quick graze of skin this morning left him wondering what it would feel like to hold you. Bucky decides against it and keeps walking.

“Isn't Captain America the like co-leader of the avengers or something?” you ask, bucky just shrugs? You see the large blown-up screens of steve roger and roll your eyes. 

Bucky's eyes lock on his memorial tribute. “Don't freak out and you can ask me questions after we leave.” 

Your face is littered with confusion again as you look at him, but you nod and turn to where he's looking at. 

“..Best friends since childhood, James ‘bucky’ Barnes and steven rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield…” the voice spoke, highlighting a memorial on bucky. Your eyes widen after realizing the bucky standing next to you was the one talked about.

Your eyes travel to the photos of Bucky. One standing next to Steve Rogers with big smiles plastered on their faces, and one of just him. His hair is shorter and he looks much younger. There is a shine in his eyes you don't see now, a bright look that hadn't been snuffed out yet. Bucky watches you as you process the information given to you, watching for any negative or even mad emotions. You lean closer, reading the sign. Bucky was from Brooklyn, a sergeant in the military, he had 3 sisters and he was born in 1917 and he died in 1945. Well, obviously he didn't actually die, more like presumed dead.

“That's…you?”

bucky nodded slowly, eyes trained on the photo of him. He couldn't even recognize himself anymore.

Bucky scans the area, looking for anyone that may have recognized him. he lets out a very shaky breath. “Okay, we've been here too long let's go.” he really wanted to grab your hand on the way out. You don't look at him on the way out. God, did he ruin this already? He wants to punch himself.

You both make it outside, the cold morning wind gives you whiplash. It feels good. You turn to look at bucky and he kinda looks like he's going to have a mental breakdown, you don't blame him. What you just saw explains so much yet, leaves you with more questions than before. You don't think. You grab his flesh hand in hopes of being some comfort, praying that it doesn't make it worse. It doesn't. Bucky doesn't flinch this time but feels his heart jump out of his chest. 

“Are you done with being outside or can we go somewhere?” bucky gives you a nervous and almost… pained look. “It's safe, hidden away and I know the owner,” you reassure him. Bucky reluctantly nods. I'll go anywhere with you as long as you keep holding my hand. And with that, you drag him through new york to your favorite-less-likely-to-get-shot-up coffee shop. It's small, always empty and the owner is an actual sweetheart. 

The bells ring as you waltz in, bucky very close behind you, still holding your hand like a lost child. “Gary! Honey I'm home!” you shout with a wide, playful grin on your face, bucky gives a sigh of relief after noticing that it was indeed empty today. 

An older man comes out from the back, along with a girl who looks like she should be in high school behind him. You wave and give him a warm smile, leaning over the counter slightly, “the usual, please?” you glance back to bucky, “.. and a water?”

You turn to bucky. “Sit anywhere, I”ll be right over in a second.” 

He hums, releasing him from your grasp and suddenly he feels a little empty and more awkward than before. He goes to the table in the farthest corner. Front door. Window. Back door. You. he checks off the list and settles against the wall.

You grin. “How’ve you been holding up, old man.” you tease. 

Gary, the owner. A wonderful and long-time friend of yours. When you first moved to new york years ago this was the first place you went to. You became a regular and you watches workers come and go, you came here when you needed quiet to work or sometimes just to snag a free drink from Gary since he just adored you so much. 

His niece, Emma, was in high school now and worked here for the past year. You would help her study during her breaks and in return, free coffee, and pastries. She was a good baker. You didn't have family here in the city so they were the closest you were going to get to anything like it.

“Not too much, dear.” Gary gave you a warm smile, his eyes squinting. He glances over at bucky in the corner. He laughs “Got a pretty paranoid date over there, I can see his eyes hitting all the exits.”

You scoff, not expecting any less from him. “Not a date, but sadly my soulmate.”

“Finally!” Gary’s eyes light up, and you give him an annoyed look. “Oh be happy about it! Emma won't stop nagging about how she hasn't found hers yet.”

“Have not!” you hear the girl shout from across the bar. You laugh and shake your head. 

Gary hands you your drinks and you bid him a quick bye, knowing he’ll just go back to his crossword puzzles in the back. Heading back over to sit next to bucky and hopefully find out he's not a zombie that's been raised from the dead.

“Your water, sergeant.” you joke, praying it doesn't hit a bad spot. Bucky was surprised by the name, he can't remember the last time someone called him that. His body feels weird.

You don't speak for a moment. You sip at your drink, hoping it will kick it as you didn't get your needed caffeine intake for the day as bucky was dragging you out the door to the museum.

You look at him through your eyelashes, he still looks like he's going to break down any second. 

“Are you a zombie?” 

“What?”

You set the cup down. “You died. So you must be a zombie. I can't believe I'm soulmates with a stalker zombie.”

Bucky's lip quirks up. You're such a dork, he thinks. He almost laughs, it more or less came out as an amused scoff. “I'm not a zombie, I didn't die.”

“Museums these days… always spreading fake information,” you mumble into your cup, taking a quick sip. Bucky smiles, slightly.

“No, I…” bucky trails off, you keep up with the jokes yet you give him a comforting, understanding look. “I fell off a train in the war, I was supposed to die.” bucky catches his breath, talking shouldn't be this hard. “I didn’t, Hydra found me and put me on ice.”

Your eyes perk up in understanding, “like Captain America, right? So why are you on the run then?” bucky looks down, and both of your hands are cupped around your drink. He wants to grab it.

“I'm not Captain America, I did a lot of bad things when Hydra had me. I killed…” Bucky trails off, and memories of Hydra came back to him. All he hears is the sound of guns, and all the blood, he can still smell it. The electricity buzzed in his head as Hydra did their best to strip everything from him, take everything out of him, and then put it back in. bucky can see it all.

You grab his hand and it stops, he just feels you. Your hands are so warm and he wants to cry suddenly. “You don't have to tell me, I do know about Hydra. They did fucked up shit, I know. I'm sure whatever you had to do, wasn't your fault.”

You lean in. too close. your hand raises to his face and you wipe away a stray tear. Had he been crying? 

Bucky lets out an unsteady breath. He can do this, you deserve an explanation. Bucky repeats in his head. He squeezes your hand gently. “They turned me into an assassin, they gave me a mission, and… I did it. I didnt know who I was before, but I didn’t... I didn’t know anything. I just knew my target.”

Your eyes are focused on him. “They had me on ice for most of it, like steve, that's why I don't remember anything. It's all so… foggy. I was sent on a mission and when I completed it I got put back under.”

“And when they needed me again, they'd just bring me back up again.”

“Like I was leftover food for them.”

You don't speak, you didnt dare to right now. Bucky's eyes were filled with anxiety as he watched you process the information. Your eyes fell, and you fiddled with your coffee cup. He saw you bite your lip again, he wanted to remind you not to. But the comment was lost in his throat. Bucky felt sick.

Say something. Please.

Your eyes glance at the silver metal shining between the cuff of his jacket and glove, something shines in your eyes, Bucky’s not quick enough to catch it before you're looking down again. Bucky is now convinced he ruined things on the first day of actually knowing you. He feels like he's going to throw up. Bucky is uncomfortable in his seat and suddenly the fresh warm air of the cafe makes him feel like he's suffocating. He goes to leave and never looks back, but your quicker this time. Grabbing his metal wrist before he gets the chance to stand. Bucky doesn't flinch this time.

“Buck, sit down.” you look at him now. “I don't hate you, calm down.”

He gulps. “You're scared of me though.”

“No.”

Bucky blinks at you, once, twice. “Why. I've killed so many-”

“Don't do that, bucky.” you shook your head at him. “Don't do that to yourself. I'm not dumb, you were a prisoner of war, a victim. You had no choice.”

A victim… he hadn't heard that word be used to describe him. 

Bucky's throat goes dry. His leg bounces under the table, he can't look at you. Bucky's eyes dart to the clock. Tick, tick, tick… the door. The other door. He feels trapped. 

You whisper, “bucky.”

Your name is the only thing that manages to escape Bucky’s lips. He sniffles, “Listen, I’m sor-”

“Hey, guys! Everything okay over here?”

 Emma's cheering voice interrupts Bucky, you both flinch back and your hand retracts from Bucky’s hand. He feels cold. Bucky's cold hand wipes away any extra tears left. You mumble a quick response, and a few thank you’s and she left a muffin in front of you. Bucky hears her footsteps receding. He should have heard her coming up, when did he get so useless? That could have been an enemy and, boom. He's dead. 

You push the blueberry muffin in front of bucky. “You like blueberries?” bucky looks at you, the muffin, back to you. Your lips are in a straight line, but your eyes are smiling. 

“Plums.”

You were caught off-guard. “What?”

“I like plums.”

You hum in response and split the muffin in two. One for you and one for bucky.

The next hour is mostly silent, bucky ordered a coffee of your recommendation. Well, more like you ordered it for him and guilt-tripped him into drinking it. It was sweet. You ordered another large cup and bucky takes a mental note to make you drink more water in the future. Your hands grasp your coffee and a book, he wants to hold it again. He wonders what it would feel like to hold you, all of you. 

He looks at the crossword puzzles you stole from the back for him. How could he possibly do a crossword puzzle when you're sitting in front of him? Bucky would glance up at you and he'd catch you looking at him, he looks away, and vice versa. Bucky is not shy, but sometimes he just gets nervous. How could you not? I mean, just look at you.

Your book falls from your grasp. “I don't want to intrude, but you are my stalker so I think I'm allowed to just a little.” bucky rolls his eyes. Your tone turns more serious  “Just tell me if I am intruding though…”

Bucky doesn't respond and lets you speak. You're hoping you are not going into a sensitive area. “How did you get out… is that why you're on the run?”

Bucky inhales sharply. His eyes flutter. A simple no was all he could push out. You don't know bucky well, but the look he's sporting is enough for you to stop asking any more questions. 

The clock reads 9:30. Shit.

“Fuck. work, I forgot about work.” you stand from your chair abruptly, the wooden chairs scraping against the floor. “I- we gotta go.”

I have nowhere to go, bucky thinks quickly. Before standing up with you, he doesn't say anything.

Grabbing both of your cups and chucking them in the trash, before returning the books to the counter. Bucky just stands there awkwardly, watching you. You notice and mumble a quick, “stalker” under your breath. Bucky pushes back a small grin. You gab his metal hand, covered by a glove, and push something into his hand. a key?

Bucky's eyebrows furrow but before he can get anything out. “You can't possibly think I’ll feel good knowing my soulmate is out on the run, probably sleeping behind some dumpster like a raccoon?”

“My roommate doesn't get home till tomorrow, and use the door his time!”

And with that, you’re speed-walking out, a soft jingle from the door as it closes. Bucky stands dumbfounded in the middle of the cafe as he blankly stares at the key in his gloved palm. His legs feel like jello. A soft cough from behind bucky brings him back to earth, it's the old man.

“Don't break their heart, I may be old and..” the old man, you said his name was Gary, looks bucky up and down. “...you may be big, but I'm sure I got a good right hook in here somewhere.”

Bucky feels warm and normal. Like he was a 15-year-old boy meeting his date's dad again. Bucky nods.

“I promise I will keep ‘em safe.”

tag list; @i-l-y-3000 @ivywasmaroon @waywardcrow @alana4610 @ozwriterchick @slytherinambitious @wintermischief

[tulipsaisle]

London in the Rain

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: ʟɪᴀᴍ x ᴍᴄ

𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ + ғʟᴜғғ

Liam pants heavily, but smiles as soon as loud cheers and clapping erupted on stage. He looks up to see the crew members all gathered together, laughing and huddling with each other after their tiring practice for the day. Everyone's gazes turn to him and somehow their faces seem to light up even more.

They gave pats on the shoulder and ruffled his hair in adoration, complimenting how he once again managed to bring the main character in their play out to life with that stunning acting.

Liam rubbed his neck and laughed, feeling shy but also loving the attention that he'd been getting from his fellow actors who had done nothing but be nice and inclusive of his appearance in their group. They exchanged pleasantries and humble gratitude until a loud clap from behind the curtains was heard.

It was Tom, their director and he had a huge grin on his face. He gave each of the members a meaningful stare until his gaze settled on Liam and he just smiled even bigger.

"Liam! I knew I could count on you in this new act!" He walks up to Liam and places his hand on his shoulder, giving a gentle and firm squeeze. "Thank you to everyone as well. I know this new play will be a hell lot of with the stunts and other stage effects, but I want to let you all know that you guys have done a marvelous job in making all this possible. Everyone worked very hard and gave their all in this and so I want to give this thanks to you all by..."

He paused, face looking down which caused the others to peer closer at him and wait in anticipation of what he would say next.

"I'll be treating you all to the resort next week on Saturday after the play premiere ends!" Tom pulled out the many tickets from his jacket pocket to show the crew and soon, loud cheers and clapping could be heard throughout The Scala. Liam laughed along with the others, loving the warm atmosphere he was in.

However, the reality was bitter, and that moment only lasted for a short while until he went back to being lost in the darkness again.

Bang! Bang! Crack!

Thunders from afar came out of nowhere with heavy rains following shortly after. The sky had darkened, and huge droplets of water hit the glass window with sheer force. The actors and director paused to look out at the sudden storm but then continued to rave about the resort tickets like there was nothing to worry about in the first place.

Their voices soon drowned out as Liam stood staring out the window. All of a sudden, he felt smaller and further away from everyone. Each drop of rain that splattered outside tugged his heart, its weight had made him feel so heavy and restless.

He quickly slipped away from the conversation between the rest of the crew members and head straight to the entrance.

He wanted to be alone with his thoughts for a moment, and although he knew it was a bad idea to do so, it was for the best. He didn't want to be a nuisance to anyone. Walking with dragged feet and hands in his pockets, he casts his eyes down to the red carpet at his feet. Soon, the light from the main door greeted him until he now stood outside The Scala staring up at the rain.

Of course, he had forgotten his umbrella.

London was painted with pale white clouds of water and fog while a few people hurried their loads back inside, and some ran to seek shelter. Whereas Liam's face darkens in sadness even more. His anxiousness is building up by little at every single sounds that reached his ears.

He couldn't understand why some people would think the sound of the rain was so relaxing, or how they find it fun to dance around the puddle, under the falling water. He couldn't even think close enough to find the romance of walking in the rain with someone.

Maybe people like to imagine things or maybe it's because of the cliché scenes he'd read in books. Nevertheless, he finds it all troublesome. Imagination and fiction are nothing close to the harsh and bitter reality. He would never enjoy those things when he can't even enjoy the feeling inside his chest. Perhaps a pathetic walk under the rain back to the castle will soak his restless hot body, leaving him cold and trembling when he finally finds something else to worry about other than anxiousness.

Sighing softly, he was about to step out until he heard it...

"Liam!"

All I know is (ooh ooh ooh)

...a familiar voice called out to him from afar, followed by a pair of shoes clicking against the asphalt of the road.

Of course. How could he forget?

About his lover.

And it seemed at that moment, the pouring rain slowly subsided as he watched Kate's figure walking closer.

She had finally caught up to Liam panting, holding a big magenta umbrella that was his. It was as if she was looking for him all this time.

Liam's breath caught up in his throat as he stared at her with his mouth hung open. "K-Kate...?" It was all he could manage to say when he looked at her wide-eyed. Why is she-

"I couldn't find you at the castle so I thought maybe you might be here." She said with a nonchalant smile as if reading through his thoughts. That's the reason why she always surprised him. Sure his best bud Harrison - despite the said guy denying so - could read him like an open book even without using his ability, or William whom he looked up to, Kate was another person who could tell what's been racing through his mind.

Was he always this honest with his expressions? It was now that he realized he and Kate were both emotional alike.

"I was thinking maybe we could walk around? If that's okay with you."

There it was again. Her sentence came out like a question, more like she was trying to read what his face was trying to convey.

We could go anywhere, we could do

Now Liam was sure that he wanted to be alone with just him and her for a moment before returning to the Crown castle. He smiled softly at Kate, knowing full well a tint of blush will dust on her cheeks, and it did.

"Sure, I'd love too."

Anything, girl, whatever the mood we're in

With that, he extended his arm and she happily hooked hers in. Liam chuckled, taking the umbrella from her other hand so he could hold it up for them this time. He noticed now that the rain had become a small drizzle, however, his heart still beat rapidly. Not from anxiety, not from the tension, but from...

Yeah all I know is (ooh ooh ooh)

...he stole a quick glance down at her for a moment to find those bright eyes peering up at him as if he was the most interesting thing in the world. Her eyes were like a thousand shining galaxies whenever she looked at him; that was the closest he could describe. Now he hoped that he could show her the same thing, to let her know that he was just as infatuated with her as much as she did with him.

Getting lost late at night, under stars

Their eyes met, and Kate smiled at him. It took his breath away for the many times that he lost count and he could easily tell she was smug about on the inside from the glints in her eyes.

Finding love standing right where we are,

Suddenly, Liam felt this strong urge to put his arm around her shoulders and turned her to face him as they both stopped walking. Kate hummed at him in question. They both found themselves staring at each other; the shadow of their umbrella, the soft patter of the rain, and the way Liam's eyes moved downwards...

Your lips

Then he leaned down to kiss her softly while his free arm still rested around her shoulders protectively and adoringly.

They pull me in the moment

Kate's eyes widened, but as she placed her hands on his chest, his heartbeat was pounding wildly and soon hers followed suit. She couldn't realise how she could feel any warmer during the rainy weather, but somehow Liam made it happen and knowing the way he leaned closer for a deeper kiss, he did feel the same way.

You and I alone and

It felt like it was just the two of them in this world whenever they kissed. It felt just right. Even the gasps and murmurs from folks nearby wouldn't even matter.

People may be watching, I don't mind

"What a lovely couple." The redhead woman whispered to her fellow lady friends and they nodded in agreement.

"Young love..." The old woman cooed as she nudged her husband, "They do remind me of us back in the days." She looked at him while he smiled back and chuckled.

Liam slowly pulled away from Kate and stared at her fluttering eyelids as those eyes looked at him in a daze. He smiled softly, tucking back her loose hair strands and planted a soft kiss on her forehead as if to send a small loving message.

'Cause anywhere with you feels right

Kate grinned and giggled happily. They both shared a hug under their big umbrella while the passerby was awed while they parted for the young couple's privacy.

Liam combed his fingers gently through her hair, smelling the sweet shampoo that he bought for her. They both stood there, embracing each other for as long as they wanted and it felt right.

Anywhere with you feels like

Gone were those empty taunting voices that he heard and was now replaced with this serene like feeling in his heart where he sure would cherish and bask himself in anytime.

For once, he felt like he deserved this happiness. She made him greedy for her attention and love, with them holding each other like this under their shared umbrella, under the soft rain, in the middle of a street in town with people walking by, he'd come to love this kind of atmosphere.

We don't need a fancy town,

Or bottles that we can't pronounce

Liam kissed her once again.

'Cause anywhere, babe

He'd come to love London in the rain.

"I love you." He whispered to her in a loving voice that was only for her and him to hear as it echoed out to mix with the sound of the rain around them.

Kate didn't say it back, but he could feel her smile against his chest and her small sigh of content. Those were enough to know that the woman in his arms was happy being in love with him as he is with her.

-Fin

Special Mentions: @lemeowade @judejazza @nightghoul381 @archiveikemen @gayuu-the-necromancer @flimflam707

[thegettingbyp2]

Just say your last post about writing for Tveit Sweeny! I'd love for either Tveit sweeny x Mrs lovett reader. Or Tveit sweeny x Ensemble /first cover Johanna reader! I cannot wait for the clips of Aaron as sweeny and more photos!

Oh, Mr Todd, I'm So Happy

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‘Take five, go get a drink and then we’ll try again,’ you director called out across the rehearsal room. Trying to dampen down your giggles, you quickly rushed across the room to grab your water bottle from your bag. You and your best friend, Aaron Tveit, had been cast as the new Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett on Broadway, and whilst it was incredible being able to work with your best friend, it also caused a lot of distractions.

You’d been trying to rehearse the By the Sea number for about two hours now and you still hadn’t gotten past the first few lines. You knew the song like the back of your hand and you knew that you could sing it, but trying to keep a straight face when you turned to face Aaron for the first time in the number was proving to be an impossible task.

Whilst the song was happy for your character, Aaron had to keep a straight face for the entire number, something that he was surprisingly really good at. However, every time you turned to face him, you couldn’t help but erupt into giggles when you saw him.

‘You know you’re an actress, you should be able to just switch it off you know,’ Aaron said teasingly as he came up behind you to get his own water bottle.

‘Well, I’m sorry if my scene partner just has one of those faces you can’t help but laugh at,’ you replied sarcastically, grinning as you spun around to face him. ‘I don’t get it! I’ve been fine in every other scene that we’ve rehearsed so far but there’s something about this song that I can’t help but laugh!’

‘Maybe it’s because you’re just so excited to finally be in a show with your best friend,’ he said, grinning widely at you.

‘No, I don’t think that’s it, because at the moment, I think I might kill him before opening night.’

‘I think you’ll find I’m the one with the knife in this show.’

The two of you burst into fits of laughter again as you put your water bottles back and made your way back over to the “stage”, getting back in your positions, ready to start the number from the top as soon as everyone else was ready. ‘This time, we’re going to get through it, okay? There’s going to be no laughing, nothing, it’s going to be a perfect run of the song, you hear me?’ you said abruptly, turning to Aaron, determination written clearly on your features.

‘Yes, ma’am,’ he replied, mock saluting you, amusement colouring his tone as he spoke.

‘Right,’ your director said as he wandered back over, ‘are we ready to get this done? And then we can move onto Anthony and Joanna’s scene so you two can have a break, sound good?’

‘Sounds great!’ you and Aaron replied at the same time, the both of you trying to hold your laughter in.

The music started back up and you both settled back into your characters. As soon as you started singing, you threw yourself into the song and it took everything in your power not to laugh at Aaron, silently pleased when you got past the bit that had been holding you up all day.

You’d almost finished the song when you leant in to peck Aaron’s cheek; that was when he absolutely lost it. Falling onto his back, clutching his stomach, he dissolved into fits of giggles that had everything in the room coming to a halt.

‘Aaron! We almost had it!’ you exclaimed as you started laughing alongside him.

‘I know, I’m sorry! You started this!’ he replied in between laughs.

You heard your director sigh before speaking. ‘Right, let’s move onto a different scene for now and we’ll come back to this one tomorrow.’

‘We’ll be better tomorrow,’ you said from your spot next to Aaron on the floor.

‘Yeah, we promise!’

[neonscandal]

Hello, can I ask from this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/threecheersforinking/677824836625694720/anime-ask-game?source=share

For anime/manga : Banana Fish, SK8 The Infinity, Attack on Titans and Wotakoi...

P.s

I want to ask JJK and BNHA, but I'm afraid if the ask will be too long....

Hello, hello, anon! 💜 thank you for reaching out. Just know that we do not fear length here. Those who will read, will read. Besides, this is a question posed by and meant for you.

I appreciate that you knew I'd struggle to be succinct tho haha I think I nailed it okay (literally, what do I know?).

BANANA FISH

Favorite Character: Ash Lynx

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: The moment of recognition that focused Ash’s eyes when, with his vision compromised, he realized Eiji had come to rescue him from Dino. 🥹 Eiji hugging Ash after they rescue him from Fox. MAX BURNING ASH’S PICTURES.

Character I Think is Underrated: Max Lobo. I don’t know where he rates but it‘ll never be high enough in my book (see above).

Character I Think is Overrated:

Favorite Ship/Pairing: AshEiji

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: I honestly don’t know if I loved it. I mean. I’ve recommended it on multiple lists but it was triggering, I bawled my eyes out, I had to stop watching part way for over a month because it devastated me and, after everything, it ended so unfairly. Watching Banana Fish is an experience that festers within me that I am occasionally compelled to relive. So maybe there’s something to be said for a story that can inspire that in a way that lasts (I’ve literally only watched it once and won’t again). Maybe I just love the idea of a broken person who can still be loved and regarded gently without condition.

SK8 THE INFINITY

Favorite Character: Kaoru “Cherry” Sakurayashiki, he’s so gender.

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: this is one series that justifiably has a beach episode if only to set up Miya cockblocking Joe. Joe will never beat the Down-Bad-For-Kaoru allegations, either.

Character I Think is Underrated: Miya. I feel like there’s more unexplored lore RE: Adam, his relationship with food and, of course, his relationship with his parents and peers. Oka is another sleeper but I think I was just intrigued by the fanon idea of Oka from fan art

Character I Think is Overrated:

Favorite Ship/Pairing: MatchaBlossom, also, knowing Kaoru and Adam had some fling or something pre-MB is precisely what I mean when I say your favorite characters wouldn’t just settle down. Let them be messy like people, it’s better for the lore.

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: I love a show I can share with my niece and nephew but, more than that, the music was a VIBE.

ATTACK ON TITAN

Favorite Character: Levi Ackerman

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: Erwin’s galvanizing speech in Shinganshina. 🔪💔 Or the big reveal at the castle tower when the main cast were just recruits under scrutiny. Their outlandish victory there.

Character I Think is Underrated: Poor Moblit had to put up with so much hahaha respected Hange's pronouns, supported their eccentricity (with caution) and was an absolute ride or die.

Character I Think is Overrated: Eren Jaeger.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: Eruri

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: the exposition. Not by the spoonful but, instead, by the shock of a snapping jaw. With the subject matter being as heavy as it is, the world building unfurled in such a way that you, as the viewer, are an ignorant person behind the wall. You learned things as the characters, namely the main trio, came to understand them. They grew up with your expanding world view, their innocence falling away as the harsh reality of the world they lived in shifted into focus and it was done so elegantly that you never see the next big twist coming. Even with all the easter eggs you come to realize after the fact!

WOTAKOI: LOVE IS HARD FOR OTAKU

Favorite Character: Hanako Koyanagi and Hirotaka Nifuji are like neck and neck

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: Not only finding out that Hanako cosplays but that she is like renowned for her handsome characters.

Character I Think is Underrated: Naoya Nifuji - I kinda feel like there's not a thought behind those eyes but so, so nice. Also, well meaning chaos when he almost blows Hirotaka's cover. But, see what I mean?

Character I Think is Overrated:

Favorite Ship/Pairing: Both of the main two couples have some issues but.. isn't that real life? So.. Hanako and Taro even though they argue, the love runs deep

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: It's so relatable ✨ (see above)

JUJUTSU KAISEN

Favorite Character: So many, honestly. Gojo, Nanami and Nobara are just top tier, in my opinion for many reasons.

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: Toss up between Nobara and Yuji becoming accomplices because the trio were really stepping up while trying to undo that curse or the Hidden Inventory/Premature Death arc in setting the stage for everything.

Character I Think is Underrated: Nanami Kento. I talk a lot about Geto Suguru being doomed by the narrative but maybe it's just any earnest man in jujutsu society. It's why Gojo tests to make sure his students are crazy before accepting them.

Character I Think is Overrated: Toji Zenin. Don't get me wrong, character wise, he's zesty and he's so grossly mischaracterized that it makes me question people's reading comprehension. He's an interesting wildcard whose omitted background, I think, will boomerang back into the story. But some of the fan obsession is a bit out of my realm of understanding.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: *gestures vaguely to the rest of my blog* SatoSugu, but it's pretty casual.

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: Surprisingly, the prevalence of alternative representation and bad ass female cast that subverts typical shonen fodder. But also, the fact that the chaos that is seemingly bringing on the end of the world in the current timeline is literally thanks to two teenagers who would willingly fight a god but couldn't be honest about how they felt 10 years ago. There are so many "if only's" in this series, it's maddening, actually.

MY HERO ACADEMIA

Favorite Character: Katsuki Bakugo

Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene: All Might vs. AFO as Bakugo and Deku watch from a distance.

Character I Think is Underrated: Tokoyami. Having placed third in the sports festival, Tokoyami appreciation is still not loud enough for me. Locks down an internship with the Number 2 hero. Bears the burden of a heteromorph quirk while locked in an eternal effort to subjugate Dark Shadow. Has presumably stellar taste in music and poetry. Kid is legitimately fearsome and, yet, people don’t put enough respect on him even though he’s lowkey also OP.

Character I Think is Overrated: I’m going to get some hate for this but.. All Might. His arrested development may not be his fault but misguiding Midoriya out of some misplaced sense of ego or obligation was so frustrating when he's the adult in the situation. I just think he deserves more slander.

Favorite Ship/Pairing: BakuDeku and/or EraserMic (fanon EraserMic content is always just 😘👌🏾) but there are a lot of great ones to choose from, I have plenty of faves.

Something I Love About the Show/Movie: The idea that anyone can be a hero and, inversely, that anyone can be a villain. The latter stemming from the fact that you don’t know who you are in other people’s story, nor how close you are to ruin with one lapse in judgement. There’s a persisting idea of redemption while a lot of the heavy hitters in this conflict are entrenched in generations' worth of unrest. Think about Compress, Geten's family (not calling out a spoiler here but IYKYK), Redestro, All For One, One for All... the list goes on and on. I have a draft somewhere about this but got too busy to put all my thoughts down for a lot of theories I had for MHA. So maybe I also love that it's a story that has always kept me guessing in a really constructive way. Lastly, with such a huge, nuanced ensemble cast, I think a lot of people are able to see themselves in the context of these characters which is really unique.

[its-a-me-mango]

(Two Cents Anon) I've decided that I'm gonna start watching SMG4 content again, just because.. It looks like maybe the whole Celeste thing was settled. iirc she did give Lottie her blessing, AND Lottie was completely unaware of the situation so... yeah

The whole thing still kinda leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, HOWEVER I think this was a very good lesson not only for Jasmine, but for those also involved (other than Celeste, she did everything right in this situation)- don't jump to conclusions and communicate properly!!

So yeah :) looking forward to this new movie/arc

Haiii two cents anon haiiii :3 back to give me your two cents, I'm going to be RICH MUHAHAHHA

That's fair enough I'm also going back to watching SMG4 for now. In a way, I've kinda just accepted that, this is it, what we have is all we're doing to get unfortunately. Which obviously isn't the best outcome, but an outcome nonetheless.

The fact that Lottie is still voicing Tari in the most recent episodes says to me that she's likely going to be sticking with it, Celestes' statement, while very disheartening and upsetting, still gave her support to Lottie to voice Tari in the future.

Celeste has been treated like shit during all this, but thankfully she's a kind enough person to not take this out on Lottie. To me that really shows the kind of person she is, and I feel so bad for her that all this has happened. I can only hope that she can keep going and achieve greater things, I don't want to say she should "move on" because as far as we know, she hasn't been given the courtesy to do so.

I've said it before, but seeing VA's being treated like this sucks so bad, and I think everyone should still feel upset about it. This isn't something to be forgotten about, and I will still be keeping an eye out incase any other information is revealed.

For now though, I think this is it, I can only hope lessons have been learned and that something's been said and done behind the scenes to make this better (I'm still low-key pissed at Jasmine for lying, like why did she do that, girl...). If anything else happens, then I'm done, straight up lol, once is a mistake but twice is neglect.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the next movie/arc, excited to see what it is :3