#but i still want to do it how do i get myself to fucking stop
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đ i want it â h.js x fem! reader
pairing: han jisung x inexperienced! reader genre: smut warnings: swearing â slight corruption kink â needy han â slight perv!han â sorta dubcon â reader is called âbabyâ (several times) & âmy girlâ (once) â non penetrative sex â munch jisung â dialogue heavy wc: 707 synopsis: you both promised to take it slow, but jisung struggles to keep his word, and you certainly don't mind. author's note: been thinking about this for days this is so incredibly self indulgent its not funny. this is not beta read. this is barely proofread. i'm just a whore.
© dollracha do not copy reupload or repost.
âfuck, âm sorry, baby.â jisung whines into your neck as he ruts his cock against your wet panties. heâs got one hand wrapped tightly around his cock, the other gripping your hip hard enough to bruise. youâve both soaked your panties, his precum and the wetness from your pussy make it almost uncomfortably sticky.
âgod, âm so fuckinâ... gross.â he rambles, pulling himself up to spit on his cock. he watches it slide off the side of his tip and down your ass. âmaking a mess of your poor pussy just to get myself off.â
âhannieâŠâ your moan has him rolling his eyes back. you canât remember how you ended up beneath him, just that you didnât want it to stop yet. It wasnât enough. and yet you were trying to find it in you to tell him to slow down, itâs what you wanted after all. to take it slow, wait until âthe right timeâ for your first time with jisung. that went out the window the moment he started feeling you up today.
âi know⊠said i'd keep my pretty girl all pure for a little longer.â
but jisungâs cock throbs at the sight of you all defiled. your hair is a mess from when he shoved you down on the bed and had his hands all up in it when he kissed you earlier. your makeup is smudged, mascara messy from the way tears well up in your eyes and spill when his cockhead rubs against your clit just right. your lipstick blurs around your lips from the sloppy kisses you shared. he begged you not to wear a bra this morning when you got dressed, it made your tits even easier for him to access. all he had to do was pull down your little tank top and they were all his. your skirt is pushed up, soft tummy peeking out. and your pussy, so wet for him already and heâs still one layer away.Â
âlook at you⊠so nasty fâme.â
âcan i take off your panties? please, baby?â jisung stops rutting against your clothed pussy and gives a couple hard taps against your clit. âknow itâs dirty, baby. but itâll feel good, okay?â
all you want at this point is to feel goodâscrew everything elseâso you nod and lift your hips so he can slide your panties off your legs.
You try to shut your legs but jisung is quicker. both of his hands keep your thighs open. âlet me see that pretty pussy, donât hide it from me.â heâs quick to spit on it again, and this time you canât help the high pitched moan that escapes your lips.Â
âdid your exes ever spit on it, baby?â
you shake your head, hands coming to cover your flushed face. nobodyâs ever touched you like jisung has. youâre not a virgin⊠you're just unexperienced. very unexperienced.
âlike it?â he asks and you donât respond. is it wrong to say you liked it? itâs gross, you think. itâs so so gross⊠but is it wrong?
warm saliva hits your pussy again, this time you can feel jisungâs breath on you.Â
âdo you like it when i spit on your pussy, baby?â
â... yesâŠâ you respond, and finally pry your arms away from your face. jisungâs laying down on the bed, hands pressed against your thighs to keep them open. he canât decide whether to look at your pussy or your eyes. he settles on your eyes.Â
âfuckâŠâ jisung whispers. his eyes fall back to your pussy with a smile. he licks his lips and lets his head fall against the blankets.
âji?â you reach for his hand, and as soon as he feels your hand on his heâs grasping it, and raising his head up to kiss your knuckles.Â
âi know you wanna take it slow⊠but please, please can i eat you out, baby? âs all i want.â
jisung agreed to take it slow, but he's got you half dressed and soaking your bed. maybe you should be mad, but god, the pleasure jisung was giving you was addicting. you werenât afraid to give yourself away to him at this point.
âi want it.â you nod, and jisung kisses your hand again.
âgotta give my girl what she wants then, yeah?â
© dollracha do not copy reupload or repost.
#dollracha#han smut#jisung smut#han jisung smut#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids x reader smut#skz x reader smut#han x reader#han jisung x reader
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winning you back pt.2
-where haikyu boys try to win back you their ex gf
-this is lwk depressing but maybe itâs bc of the music im listening to rn LMAO
contains; atsumu, tsukishima, kita, sakusa, oikawa, iwaizumi
pt.1 of winning you back here!
atsumu; He still very much has all your pictures on his feed that he never deleted and never will you had to go minimal contact with him because he kept texting you every other day to try to get back together, he still loves you and thinks your gonna be his wife and that this is just a rough patch, so when you post that youâre going to be volunteering at osamuâs restaurant for a charity that osamu is doing for young kids to get into volleyball he takes it upon himself to cancel his practice for that day and go and join you two and begged and forced osamu to make you too work together so he can talk to you, and those dam miyaâs being so good and weaseling there way back into lifeâs, it worked. You two are now talking again. You told him that you wanted to take this slow, but atsumu later that week posted a soft launch of you two at dinner.
tsukishima; tsukishima acts like heâs so nonchalant but no oneâs seen him cry over how bad itâs killing him that you can fully ignore him when heâs usually the one doing that. He hates how bad he fucked up so he decided to make a plan to win you back, what does that mean he had to do? work at the same cat cafe as you, at first you werenât on the same shifts and maybe hanging out with cats was a plus but getting crushed on by other girls wasnât. Anyways as soon and he saw you two were on the same shift he couldnât be more happy, it was a slow shift so he used this time to catch up and be very soft and respectful he saw you werenât fighting back so he was thinking that was a step forward, until later on when a girl came by to order a drink and was clearly flirting with him so tsukishima ignored her, as she said âcan i get your number?â you turned to see what he would do all he said was âno i have a girlfriend sheâs right there actually, i donât what gave you the confidence to think you could ask meâ he said laughing which left the girl embarrassed and you flustered.
kita; Kita is forever my yearning man. He writes letters for you and sends them, you kept them all because you still didnât get over him. He thought it was the right choice to let you go but he couldnât have been more wrong, and I fear kita is the type to have a romantic scene like the movies. So what? anyways he comes by your hour IN THE POURING RAIN. to apologize âiâm sorry im selfish for breaking up with you yn, i just clean up well i forget myselfâ OOOO YOU END UP SOBBING BC WHO WOULDN'T?! anyways safe to say you kissed in the rain and he won you back
sakusa; stubborn ass ho. He was shocked when you broke things off even more when you actually stood on business, sakusa was one to keep his composure and not crashout but he couldnât understand why he was so affected by the breakup itâs like his whole life flipped upside down. He even stopped keeping up with himself for a bit which was totally out of the norm. So when you saw him at your apartment in the lates of the night messy hair, wrinkles in his clothes looking dead you knew something was wrong, he almost felt like he could breathe again once you embraced him, disgusting and all and he didnât let go since and tried to change for the better
oikawa; He acted happy at first like it didnât matter because he thought you needed him more than he needed you. Oh how wrong he was, the fan girls didnât support him the way you did, didnât cheer for him the way you did, no one could cook as good as you, no one could get him out his depression like you could, so one night around 4am he gave you a call wanting to quit volleyball because he felt like he couldnât do anymore without you there, which broke your heart because you saw how bad he was struggling without you there and thatâs when he finally admits âI needed you more than you needed me. Come back yn, iâm sorryâ and you did because you needed him just as much as he needed you.
iwaizumi; it was mutual breakup but not really he just did whatever he could to make you happy he hated fighting with you, he never deleted your pictures, he still kept all your stuff that you didnât take at his house, he was still loyal even if you werenât together, He blamed himself for not fighting back. he became very very career oriented thatâs when he saw you at a job interview, you had just finished interviewing for the place he works at as a sports medical assistant. you werenât aware he was working there so he stopped you and asked to get lunch since you were leaving and he was on his lunch break. That's where he apologized for not doing more and still thought about you and asked for a redo and would do anything for a second chance, and you agreed because you felt the same.
tags; @solarvrse (for the atsumu one) @sahrii (for the iwaizumi one)
#cherrysurf writes#atsumu x reader#tsukishima x reader#kita x reader#oikawa x reader#kiyoomi sakusa x reader#iwaizumi x you#haikyu x y/n#haikyu x you#haikyu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x#haikyuu x imagines#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x reader
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God, Iâm just so mad and upset and I need to rant for a minute:
I live in Wisconsin, where the last several years winters here have been scarily mild. Itâs not uncommon for us to have a mild winter every few years or so, but weâve been having milder and milder winters for the past several years in a row. Winters here are supposed to be long and snowy. Itâs supposed to start snowing in November, sometimes October, and the snow doesnât melt all the way till April, sometimes early May.
Last year, I felt like we barely even had a winter. There was snow on the ground for maybe two months total, it kept melting and then coming back, which isnât supposed to happen. The snow will maybe melt after the first couple times, but once you get to December, itâs supposed to stay on the ground until Spring.
Same thing is happening this year. Itâll snow for like two days, stick for maybe one day, and melt. Itâll stay that way for a couple of weeks. Itâs January now. The fact that thereâs no snow on the ground, in fucking Wisconsin, is alarming. The fact that this has been happening several years in a row now is alarming. Iâm seeing it happen right in front of me. Weâre all seeing the effects of climate change now, and weâre seeing how itâs directly destroying and harming the planet. We can see it with our own eyes.
Iâm thinking about the fires in LA right now. I saw someone talk about how they were alarmed they were getting these kinds of winds in January. (Iâm not familiar with LA climate but this person talked about how abnormal it is).
Everything the scientists have been saying about climate change is coming true. Itâs happening right in front of us, for the whole world to see. And still, the people responsible, the right-wing politicians and businesspeople that profit off of this just deny deny deny. How can you deny whatâs happening right in front of everyone? They are destroying our planet, and they still think they can deny it happening. It just makes me so angry. That a handful of people have the power to destroy our planet and refuse to even acknowledge it. They act like the words âclimate changeâ is liberal propaganda. As if itâs not something we can see happening right before our eyes. They pretend itâs political, they pretend itâs a conspiracy, because they have no other way to justify being against protecting the planet.
One thing that angers me most is that the only thing people seem to do about this is complain on social media. (I know, thatâs exactly what Iâm doing, but hear me out). LA is burning to the ground because of climate change, and whatâs anybody going to do about it? Make a post on Twitter? Maybe write an article about it?
That doesnât change anything. We need change. We need direct action. Itâs only going to get worse if we keep letting companies and governments continue as they are. They cannot continue as they are.
If you havenât heard of the book How to Blow Up a Pipeline, go look it up. The author talks about a lot of the stuff I want to get at here, but he puts it a lot better.
My hope is that these LA fires will start a movement for stopping climate change. Not just a general shift of opinion like weâve seen the past few years, but a real movement where people show up in person to do something. We exist in a time where Luigi Mangione is seen as a hero for his actions, I hope people will get inspired to take more direct action in regards to climate change. (That doesnât mean shooting more people, Iâm not advocating for murder, but we need to start taking action beyond just complaining on social media).
Iâm going to start researching resources to help myself and others to get more involved with preventing climate change. I hope one day, weâll have an actual winter in Wisconsin again. To everyone in LA, please please stay safeâ€ïž
#long post#climate change#global warming#la fires#los angeles#los angeles fire#la#california#Luigi Mangione#activism#social justice#direct action#how to blow up a pipeline#sorry for the long rant#I just got this feeling of anger and terror while looking at footage of the fires#this wasnât supposed to happen#this is the result of manufacturers fossil fuels#corporations that will destroy the whole world if it made them an extra dollar#itâs sickening#deny defend depose#delay deny depose#social activism#United States#environment#Wisconsin#winter#january
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21 WIT NO KIDS
bitch bad no kanye
prelude.
âcome on, g, you havenât gone out in so long! show that sexy ass off.â gwenâs friend, jackie, was begging her to go to tedâs tonight. she had so much homework to do and she had to edit the girls media day photos but shit, jackieâs shrill voice makes her just want to slam her head against the desk.
âfine, letâs go, fuck.â
the blonde hopped up and ran to the brunetteâs closet. âyou should wear this, you look so hot in jeans. like for real your ass in denim is crazy.â jackie paused, holding up a low waisted denim skirt. âare you listening?â gwenâs head shot up from her phone, âyeah.â
in a short while gwen was stuffed into a skirt and a âgoing outâ top as jackie called it. she watched from the bar as jackie did awful kanye karaoke. gwen spotted a few familiar faces, a few girls from her photography class, some football boys, some girls from the soccer team whom sheâd taken photos for.
âgwen!â a voice rang out beside her, a bubby (tipsy) kk arnold stood, smiling at her. kk was always the nicest to her, all the girls were extremely nice but kk was persistent, gwen was a closed off person. kk always tried to break down her walls, getting the other girls to celebrate gwenâs birthday or get her a christmas gift or inviting her to friendsgiving, which gwen always refused.
âhey, kk, how are you?â gwen smiled, her tooth gem winked at kk in the dim lights. kk hopped on the bar stool beside her. âyou know, good. genoâs up my ass, but whatâs new.â kk took a sip of her drink.
âyo, pause.â a blonde slung an arm around the shorter girl. paige smiled and nodded at gwen. âhey, gwen. how you been, ma?â it was no secret that paige thought gwenyth was hot, the girls teased her about it all the time but paige wasnât embarrassed. nah, anyone with eyes could see gwen was sexy. from her silk press to the chunky hoops and bangle bracelets to the dermals in her hips that were always on display with her low waisted pants.
paige stood, abs on full display. her black cargos hung low, showing the calvin klein boxers she wore. her white crop top rose a bit as her arm was up over kkâs neck. âiâve been good, p. how about you?â
âoh normal shit.â paigeâs phone dinged, tearing her gaze away from the gold navel piercing. when her gaze returned her pointed to it, âthat new?â gwen touched her stomach and looked down. âoh, nah, i just donât wear it often.â
kk had looked at paige with narrowed eyes. âpaige, why donât you invite her to sit with us?â
paige elbowed kk in the side making her yelp. âyou, uh, wanna sit with us?â gwen raised one eyebrow and put her tongue in her cheek.
âfuck it, sure.â gwen said as she looked behind paige and waved to the team the was sitting in a booth in the corner. they all scrambled to look like they were doing something other than staring at paige and gwen.
gwen brushed by paige and walked to the booth, âvodka soda, will you?â paige chuckled and smirked but still watched her walk away.
âstop looking at her ass, perv.â kk rang out, making paige roll her eyes.
âbro, i wasnât.â paige said before buying a dirty shirleyâŠand a vodka soda.
âyouâre her bitch.â kk teased before she walked over to the booth where the photographer and the basketball players were laughing.
when we do it, we do it our way
i honestly kinda was gwen for myselfâŠ. but if you donât want your fmc wtf r u doing fr. hope you enjoy my loves
#azzi fudd#ncaa#ncaa wbb#paige buckets#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers uconn#paige bueckers x female oc#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers x reader#paige x oc#paige x reader#paige bueckers#paige blockers#kk arnold#geno auriemma#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#uconn womenâs basketball#uconn x reader#ncaa womenâs basketball
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Tbh 'get in touch with your appreciation for solitude' is fucking right. All friends and family I even had left ran out of patience for "can we find a safe way to include me" before even trying. I go out for doctor's appointments all masked up and equally masked for groceries. I only go out for groceries because I have so many allergies and sensitivities that letting someone else pick out products for me doesn't work, and as a disabled person I can't have a credit card, so delivery services don't quite work for everything. I'm currently fighting with a prepaid card company that might be ripping me off for 507$.
I've been trying to solve the problem of "how do I re-socialize myself safely" since the pandemic started because I could already tell the end wasn't in sight, I already had pretty much no friends left, and I didn't want to wait until I was desperately lonely and already depressed and neurotic about it...
And to be honest I never really figured anything out.
I've joined discord servers before but it largely isn't for me. I just don't have the social energy to hang out with a large group of strangers with no known shared interests for the sake of spending social energy alone because I feel like I should. I end up lurking with no interest in the conversations until I just start ignoring another server.
I keep telling myself that after the next health episode clears up and after I get my apartment organized I'll get back to trying to figure out what a social life looks like for me... But since the end of 2019 when this started... It just hasn't felt like that pressing of an issue compared to everything else. Even before covid I have been having to mass cut people out of my life because already having had limited ways of meeting people had already left me surrounded with a social circle full of people who were abusive or would side against me if they were told someone else was being abusive.
As it turns out, for me, largely socializing was way more stress and obligation than it was actually worth. I already wasn't getting anything out of socializing as an adult, and now even trying runs the risk of getting infected with something that could kill me.
I keep having thoughts about how to meet people online that actually have lots to talk about, with me specifically, and I still talk to a couple online friends from the before times, but largely my biggest social outlet is just being on tumblr. I'm not engaged with anything emotionally enough right now to be engaged with another person talking about it. I lack the emotional energy to invest in anything but recovery right now. Also I find most groups repellent.
I tried those aps that claimed to be for making friends and forbid hooking up, but everyone just uses them to hook up. I tried discord servers for people over 30 just wanting to make friends, its all full of openly sexual flirtation and they boot you if you don't talk enough. Most the interest groups I tried to join feel like being in a room of chattering kids.
I'm not a 'groups' kind of person, I'm a 1 on 1 quiet gathering at most kind of person, a write letters or stay up till 3 am chatting at a coffee shop kind of person and I do not know how to translate that to meeting people online. I don't even know how to reach past hookup culture enough to convince anyone not to try talking to me just because they are looking for people they can eventually meet and hook up with.
You got to a server for people over 25 [25-40] that forbids sexual advances and you get paired up with someone who acts 14, actively flirts and then loses interest when you don't flirt back and are actually over 30 like the age range of the server states you are expected to be.
You go on whisper, an anonymous local confession app, and everyone stops talking to you once they realize you are serious about not wanting to hook up and not being interested in buying drugs. They laugh at you for pointing out it isn't a dating app, and tell you to try acebook. Then you are asexual on ace-book and get told "yeah but this is largely for asexuals who are looking for sex anyway"...
I have stalkers so there's lost of local aps I just can't use because they want a valid photo and my real legal identity. Besides that, people meeting on local aps generally have the expectation of meeting up eventually, and not like, wanting to be close so you can drop things off for each other or play mailbox tag for fun. Mostly they expect sex is the only real reason you'd want to meet people close by.
If I ever do have a dating life again, it will be strictly in text, but then I have to contend with "how do I verify this person is actually over 30"? and I just don't think I have the energy or resources to field that.
I'll join this server. I've joined others, I can outline the problem and why the current solutions aren't working for me personally, but I don't have a great suggestion for how to fix any of it yet.
At least I've always liked spending time alone, so I have that going for me. Can't imagine how anyone who isn't the most extreme introvert is coping with this.
I just want to ask covid safe nation... HOW are you dealing with the loneliness? Everyone wants to dine in and drink, or if they have a non-food indoor event, no one is masking. I haven't made new friends in years because no one will make it safe to hang out. What do y'all do???
It's mostly online for me. I have a couple friends who will do things like listen to records while I mask and run the central air with windows wide open, but most of my former friends have abandoned me too, and it hurts a lot because not even two years ago, they were praising me for taking good care of my elderly parents who I refuse to pass covid to. I think the best thing to do is get in touch with solitude. If you're looking for like-minded online community, I run a discord covid-safe folks can join and chat about anything you can think of. We do game nights sometimes (I wanna get back on that horse, but it's been a busy time in my life lol. Might be a week or two before I can commit to running that again.)
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That's a Threat?
Mind you Daisuke has killed men before and here Maclolm ass disrespecting the fuck outta him. It's cool though Daisuke thinks it's cute
Transcript under the cut~
Daisuke: Malcolm. Do you have a minute?
Malcolm: The old dude dating my sister. What do we have to talk about?
Daisuke: I wanted to formally introduce myself
Malcolm: What the fuck for?
Malcolm: Did it occur to you that maybe I donât want to meet you? The cradle robber
Daisuke: Iâve been seeing Luna for a year now and I havenât had the pleasure of meeting you.
Malcolm: I donât care. We donât have anything to talk about
Daisuke: Iâm not as old as you think
Malcolm: That sounds like a fucking threat. Are you threatening me old man?
Daisuke: I think it would be in your best interest to speak with me.
Daisuke: I think we could have a more productive conversation in a warmer location. Donât you agree?
Malcolm: Sounds horrible. I decline
Daisuke: Iâve asked Luna to spend Winterfest and the New Years with me. I wanted to extend the offer to you as well.
Daisuke: Malcolm. Iâm not the type of man to ask twice.
Malcolm: Crazy work. Answer is still no
Daisuke: I understand that you are very protective of Luna, and so am I. I would like to use this time to get to know you better and hopefully, you can do the same
Malcolm: Ew. Can I be frank?
Daisuke: Of course
Daisuke: Do you have anything else to add?
Malcolm: I donât like you. I think youâre shady and hiding something and I donât think my sister is safe around you. I heard you guys almost broke up over the summer, she should made that permanent
Malcolm: Yeah. I think youâre an old bastard that should leave my sister alone. You weirdo
Daisuke: Let me be frank. Iâm a man of means, and getting you to come to Mt. Komorebi wonât be difficult for me, but I wanted to speak to you man-to-man and make my intentions with your sister very clear. I plan on dating with the intention of getting married, which means we are going to be family. Letâs use this time to get to know each other, and let me show you how much your sister means to me.
Malcolm: âA man of meansâ eh? sounds like another threat.
Daisuke: You mean a lot to your sister and she's worried we wonât get along. I would hate to disappoint her and tell her I couldnât convince you to come to Mt. Komorebi. You don't want to be the cause of the disappointment, do you?
Malcolm: You fucking suck
Daisuke: Old habits die hard but the sentiment remains the same. I hope you can reconsider
Malcolm: You...*deep breath* Fine...Iâll go
Malcolm: Not because of anything you said, you can keep those sentiments to yourself. I'm doing this only for Luna since she's so set on dating you, I canât force her to stop. I still think you fucking suck and your threats donât scare me
Daisuke: Im happy to hear that. You donât have to worry everything will be taken care of. I promise you
Malcolm: Whatever old man
Daisuke: Iâm not that much older than you
Malcolm: I donât care old man.
Daisuke: It was nice speaking with you
Malcolm: Ew. Iâm leaving
#on my LIFE i swear i thought i took a shot of where they went to have thier little talk. oh well you get the gist#sims 4#sims 4 screenshots#sims#thereevesfamily#black simblr#ts4 story#ts4 stories#the sims#the sims 4
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heâs the only one i could call
âfuck.â i groaned, leaning my head back against the headrest.
i lightly slammed my hands down on the steering wheel and lowered my music.
my car had broken down a few cities over from my own.
i picked up my phone to check the time.
3am⊠of course it is. nobody i know is gonna be up right now to save me.
âthis is what i get for neglecting the check battery lightâ i think to myself. my car stalled a few more pathetic attempts to start as i realized i didnât have the money for a tow service right now either.
i glanced around and picked up my phone to check maps. maybe thereâs a 24 hour diner, or somewhere i can stay till itâs a reasonable hour.
nothing. i wanna throw my phone after i check how far i actually am from my apartment.
as i try one last attempt to move around the map and find a savior my heart drops to my stomach, and leaps back into my throat once i realize just exactly where i am.
two neighborhoods over is his house.
i giggle to myself as an idea flashes in my mind.
before i continue iâll give context.
the whole reason iâm even cities over from my own was because i took a drive to clear my head. to try and forget him.
i had been trying everything i could but he was always gnawing at my brain. always. and i had been trying to control my obsessive tendencies after our fall out.
i had been doing good but, stuck in a neighborhood so close to his house made my body ache.
my fingertips tingled in anticipation as they hovered over my phone screen.
i wondered if he was even awake. he never really had a great sleep schedule. i checked the time again⊠3:05.. i hope heâs not with her.
i nibbled at the inside of my cheek before i threw all reason out the windowâŠ
it rang a few times before a familiar, sleepy voice, answered
â[name]?â
my breath caught in my throat before i answered
âhey⊠hey iâm sorry i know itâs late- were you sleeping?â
âyeah but itâs fine.. are you okay? why are you calling?â
i smiled to myself. he still cares.
âiâm fine! iâm okay! swear. itâs just my car broke down really close to you. everyone i know is asleepâŠâ
i trailed off. i probably sounded so desperate. it dripped off of me.
â[name].. iâm with my girlfriend.. cant- cant you call a tow service?â
i bit the inside of my cheek again. hard. i donât care about his girlfriend. iâll kill her.
i shook my head and nervously played with a loose thread at the end of my dress
âi.. uh.. dont have that kind of money right now.â
i sound genuinely pathetic
âi see⊠uh.. okay um i can come help you. just send me your location⊠and [name]?â
âhm?â
i practically whined at the idea of him coming to rescue me
âiâm just going to jump start your car and leave okay? please donât make this a.. a thingâ
that stung. i swallowed hard and nodded like he could see me
âyeah. it- it wont be.â
my phone beeped indicating he ended the call. i squirmed in my seat as i sent him a pin of my location.
make it a thing? what the fuck?
i wanted to rip out his throat.
shifting uncomfortably i waited outside in the cold. i leaned up against the drivers side window, shivering and pathetic.
when his cars headlights pulled onto the street i was on i felt my heartbeat quicken and my body tingle.
i was starving.
âhey..â
he said, walking up to my car with cables in his hand
âhiâŠiâm sorry again about this.â
i smiled softly at him. he always liked when i smiled at him that way⊠i hoped he felt something. anything.
he smiled back and i swear i could see his eyes linger over my body for a little too long
i felt like pouncing on him like a predator catching its prey.
âno worries. i told my girlfriend iâd be quick so, lets do thisâ
i felt rage flicker in my gut. stop fucking talking about her.
âright..â
i clearly sounded upset but i didnât care.
my bones ached as i watched him attempt to jump start my car. he looked as gorgeous as ever.
it started pretty much instantly and i panicked. he couldnât leave yet. no, no, no, not yet.
âw-wait!â
i practically yelled at him
he stopped abruptly, clearly taken aback by my sudden outburst
âwhat?!â
he was visibly concerned. never mad. he never really could get mad at me.
i felt tears well up in my eyes
âdonât leaveâŠplease.. iâm-iâm sorry. itâs been so long since i've seen you. i had to see you. i canât stop thinking about you. please please donât goâŠâ
i felt so many emotions bubble inside of me, i felt like i was going to burst
he stared at me for a long time⊠then.. he smiled.
âcute.â
i swallowed and looked down at my feet
âstop. iâm sorry. that was really stupid.â
i didnât look up but i heard him take a step towards me
â[name]âŠ.â
i looked up. he was right in front of me, closer to me than he had been in months.
i clenched my jaw. i could smell his cologne and my knees nearly buckled.
âstop it!â
i stepped back. i wanted him so bad but i knew it was wrong. i wanted to kill his girlfriend and rip out his throat, but i was trying so hard to be better. i was really trying
he let out a soft laugh and reached for my hand
âi guess iâm the one making it a thingâŠâ
he held my hand in his so gently i felt myself melt.
âno. we canâtâŠâ
i sounded small, pathetic, desperate. i clearly didnât mean a word.
âhmmâ
he hummed gently, moving his hand up to brush some loose hair behind my shoulder and trace my neck
âwhy not?â
i didnât answer, i just held his gaze. it was so intense i nearly looked away.
i knew i could eventually get him where i wanted himâŠbut.. i didnât think it'd be this easy.
i shivered at his touch and something flickered in his eyes
âyou look as beautiful as ever. i like this dress on you..â
he sounded starving now.
âitâs newâ
i squeaked.
âmm very pretty, dollâ
i let a whimper escape my lips at the nickname and he grinned
âcome here.. let me warm you. itâs so cold out hereâŠâ
i stepped closer to him without a second thought. anything he wanted i would do it. anything at all.
he wrapped his arms around me and i couldnât contain myself anymore.
i tangled my fingers into his hair and pressed my body against his, whimpering in the process.
i needed him bad. primal. animalistic
his hands roamed my body, grabbing and groping every part of me.
my breathing quickened as i melted into his touch.
âplease..pleaseâ
was all i could manage to moan out.
he was barely touching me but i felt my pussy throb and dampen at every grab and tug from his hands
âyouâre so pathetic. itâs adorableâ
he cooed into my ear before nibbling it a little
we were still outside leaning against my car, his hand travelling up my dress and teasing the waist band of my panties
â[name]⊠please..â
i couldnât control myself around him. he was so warm. so sweet. so perfect.
all of a sudden he pulled away tugging my body towards his car. fast.
i barely had time to register what was going on before i was in the backseat and he was looming over me.
i could see glimpses of him in the moonlight. he looked so disgustingly perverted and hungry for me. i fucking loved it.
âyouâre such a fucking tease in this little dress. begging me to come save you, to rescue your pathetic assâŠâ
he said in breathy whispers as he groped my tits and pinched my nipples through the fabric of my dress
i moaned loudly and squirmed underneath him, feeling his hard cock pressed against my thigh
âi canât believe you [name]. i canât believe what you do to meâ
he quickly slipped the dress off of me and his mouth was on my naked body in an instant. digging his nails into my waist and leaving sloppy, uncoordinated kisses, over my chest and stomach
âmmm⊠fuck⊠[name]⊠please just use me however you wantâ
i whimpered pathetically each time he moved his mouth or hands
âoh i will.â
i could barely stay conscious between his hands wrapped around my throat and him rubbing his thick cock against the fabric of my panties
it all felt so good i nearly came just from that alone
he ripped my panties off and shoved his cock into my dripping pussy with one swift motion, i saw stars
i coughed and sputtered from the pressure on my neck as he rammed into my cunt
âoh my god.. fuck.. [name] you feel incredibleâ
he released his grip on my neck to move a hand down to my aching pussy
he gently rubbed my clit as he pumped in and out of me and i couldâve sworn i saw god.
i whined like a pathetic dog as he violated me in ways i had never experienced from him before.
i knew our past sex was good but holy shit
â[name].. iâm sorry. iâm so sorryâ
he apologized profusely as he struck me across the face and rammed into me harder
âyouâre just so pathetic, i canât help myselfâŠâ
all i could get out was pathetic whines as i looked up at him with desperation.
i wanted more. i wanted everything he could give me. whatever he wanted to do i would take it and i would love it.
âfuck. fuck. fuck. [name] youâre so tightâ
he groaned loudly as he rubbed my clit faster
i clenched around his cock as i felt him release a huge load of hot cum inside my womb
i came at the same time, my pussy spasming on his cock as we both let out animalistic groans and pants, clinging to each other like this would be the last time
it was never the last time.
âoh my god..â
was all he could manage into my ear as he collapsed on top of me
i could feel our heartbeats colliding into one, pounding against both of our chests
i laid there staring up at interior of his car, catching my breath
i had asked him to come rescue me in hopes that maybe heâd feel something for me when he saw me
i asked him to save me because i needed to see him
come to find outâŠ. he felt the exact same way
i smiled to myself as he played with my hair, still laying on top of me and softly breathing into my neck
we hadnât spoken a word to each other yet but, i knew.
i knew he felt the same way i did
all this time i thought he had moved on
but we were just as desperate and perverted for each other as we had been back then
i really need to kill his stupid girlfriend. then heâll be mine forever.
so much for âgetting betterâ
i never will as long as heâs breathing. i never wanted to in the first place.
âi love you [name]â
he sighed softly, placing a gentle kiss on my neck
âi love you tooâ
i will never let my darling go⊠ever. again.
#yanblr#obsessive thoughts#yandere girl#obsessive yandere#obsessive love disorder#bpd yandere#yandere thoughts#yandere blog#irl yandere#yandere scenarios#yandere x reader#yandere ex#yan4yan#yandere smut#yancore#irl yan#obslove#yan blog
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Pathetic
WARNINGS: smut, teasing, mean!top!reneé, needy!bottom!reader A/N? - 1.7k words + fem!reader + pwp !! ⯠summary: when reneé's girl needs relief, she can't help but have fun teasing her and teaching her a lesson.
Reneé hissed beneath you softly as you pushed her back into the couch, your lips finding hers in a hot, impatient kiss; your noses clashed from the intensity and your hand that cupped her jaw tightened its grip while your free hand wandered under her shirt and felt the soft skin of her abdomen. Her lips met yours with equal fervor and aggression, her hands finding your hips and squeezing them tightly beneath her fingers. She shuddered as your cold hand moved against the warm expanse of her skin, nails softly biting into the flesh as they moved toward her chest. Before you could continue, she pulled away for air and pressed your hips down against hers, panting softly. "Baby, we don't have time. I have a soundcheck in 20 minutes."
Your brow furrowed as you looked down at her. "What? But that hasn't stopped you before," You frowned. You leaned in to kiss her again and she smirked, putting her hand in front of your chest to stop you. "I said we don't have time, didn't I? Get off," Reneé chuckled with a glimmer of mischief in her emerald eyes. You didn't know what she was trying to do, but you knew she was in the mood for it; she'd been teasing you all day. So, why would she refuse now?
"I'll make it quick, Nae. Please?" You hummed, to which the blonde only rolled her eyes and scoffed. "I said no, baby. What, are you so desperate that you forgot how to obey orders?" She mocked. Usually, you'd listen, but not only had she been teasing you all dayâyou had needed her just as long and as much. You needed to try to get some relief.
You swallowed and looked down at her as your eyes narrowed, mildly frustrated with how she'd been toying with you despite knowing what you craved. "Don't be like that," You hissed. "Please, mommy? I-"
With a suddenness, she gripped your shoulders and flipped you over, pinning you beneath her on the couch of the tour bus. Your eyes widened in surprise and you saw her smirk down at your condition, watching your cheeks redden. "God, you're pathetic," She sneered as she leaned close to you. "Stop whining, baby. I said no, don't make me repeat myself."
Fuck, she was so hot like this; it was unfair. It felt like she could neutralize you with just the right toneâstill, you wanted to try.
"I ... I know, and I'm sorry, ma'am. I justâ"
Again, she cut you off, but this time with a bruising, feverish kiss. You quickly melted into it as she claimed your lips and forced her tongue into your mouth, leaving you breathless and momentarily stunned. After a few seconds, just enough to ensure that she had you hot and bothered, she pulled away with a smirkâthough still hovered a few inches above you face.
"I said shut the fuck up," She chuckled before spitting into your mouth. You whined and she gripped your chin, eyes narrowing as she looked down at you. "Swallow, now."
Reluctantly, you obeyed and swallowed what she gave you, and you felt your face and body get hotter. You didn't say anything else, unsure of how she'd respond; she punished you for groveling and begging, and who knows what she would've done if you'd tried being a brat? It felt like you just couldn't fucking win.
"Anything else to say, huh?" ReneĂ© retorted as she smirked down at you. You swallowed and shook your headâwith how she was towering over you and just treating you, you felt so, so small, and you loved it.
"No, ma'am."
She smirked and pulled away, getting off of you and sitting back on the couch. "Good," She hummed.
A few seconds after she got up, you did, too, but you only sat beside her on the couch. You were trying your best to stay on her good side and not do anything she could punish you forâyou needed her. After a few minutes, someone knocked on the door of the tour bus to remind ReneĂ© of how much time she had left. "Fifteen minutes until soundcheck," The voice announced, until you heard the footsteps descend from the door.
That was when she looked over at you with her legs parted. "C'mere, baby," She purred; quickly, you got up to sit on her lap.
Her arms wrapped around your waist and she pulled you against her, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before burying her head in your neck. You hummed softly at the feel of her warmth against yours, though a feeling of uncertainty settled in your stomach. A part of you felt like this was one of her tricks, but another part just craved some sort of releaseâif she finally gave it to you.
"You've been acting dumb all day," She cooed into your ear cruelly, but you didn't say anything, even as her lips brushed your ear. "What's got you acting so pathetic, huh? What made you forget to use your pretty little head, pet?"
You felt like she was actively turning your brain to mush, even if she hadn't physically done anything. Your breath caught in your throat in surprise, and when you didn't respond, she bit down on your ear. You yelped and she pressed a kiss to the spot beneath it, her softness a stark contrast to how she'd been acting.
"You," You whined out. "I need you, Nae. You know that," You added. Reneé chuckled softly and moved one of her hands from your waist, brushing your hair from the side of your neck before wrapping her arm around you again. "It's pretty obvious, love," She hummed. "But what makes you think you deserve it? You've been acting like you have no sense, so why would I reward that?" She snickered. Reneé moved her arms from around your waist and settled her hands on your hips, pulling you down on one of her thighs. You whimpered softly, but her palm came down on your thigh in response, and you shut up. "I need an answer that isn't you whining like a desperate little thing, y'know."
"I've been good, RenâI mean, ma'am," You croaked. ReneĂ© tsked and began to press open-mouthed kisses to the side of your neck, getting rougher as she went. You gasped softly and hummed, melting into her touch. "Have you? I don't think so. You kept begging until I made you shut up, right?" She mocked, though it sounded like a genuine question. She began to nibble along the side of your neck, her tongue darting out to tease every-now-and-then. You bit your lip to avoid whimpering, squeaking softly. "Y-Yes, mommy. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
ReneĂ© continued to pepper your neck with kisses before beginning to latch her lips to your skin, sucking aggressively as she tried to make her mark. Her hips squeezed your hips and you instinctively bucked down on her thigh, to which she hissed and bit down on your neck. "Sorry, ma'am," You yelped out, yet you continued to roll your hips against her thigh slowly. She chuffed, rolling her eyes. "You don't seem sorry," ReneĂ© growled and slapped your thigh again, this time a bit harder; despite that, you kept going. "I know, justâplease, ma'am?" You pleaded. She tsked and pulled you down against her, giving you just the friction you wanted. "Go ahead, desperate bitch."
The moment she gave you permission to do so, you began to grind against her thigh, whining softly as you got the friction you'd craved the entire day. The seam of your bottoms pressed against your clit which made you lose your shit, and you had to contain yourself from speeding up too quicklyâif you did, you were scared that ReneĂ© would force you to slow down or stop entirely.
She continued to mark your neck and grip your hips, and it wasn't long before her hands began to guide you at the pace that she wanted. She'd speed up, then slow down, and repeat until she knew you were frustrated. As you got off on her thigh and felt your pleasure build up, she'd slow down, and you'd whine in protest.
"Don't be a brat," She scoffed. "You're gonna take what I give you, and don't even think about being ungrateful," The blonde spat, though she chuckled under her breathâshe knew what she was doing. "God, you're fucking pathetic, love."
After a while, her lips detached from your neck and she just watched you move, until she wanted more to seeâshe wanted to see you fall a part. She quickly achieved that by pulling you down quicker against her thigh, her pace increasing and this time, never ceasing as you felt your release begin to surface; the inseam of your bottoms and her thigh continued to rub your pleading cunt. You whined and shut your eyes, biting your lip to stay silent.
"Mommy, please?" You whimpered, desperate for release. She hummed and tilted her head as yours fell back slightly. "What, slut?" She growled as her breath fanned against your ear. "Am I allowed to cum, please? Please, Reneé?"
ReneĂ© didn't say anything elseâshe only hummed and smirked, just watching you try to not fall apart. Not too long after, there was a knock at the door, but she kept you going at an even quicker pace, and you tried your best not to make too much sound. "ReneĂ©âit's time for soundcheck."
Perfect.
Without warning, she stopped you on her lap and you whined, panting softly as you tried to keep your pace. "Stop," She growled, this time, slapping your thigh hard enough to make you really want to stop. You slowed down and whimpered, looking back at herâyou saw that fucking big smirk on her face. "Get up, I need to do soundcheck."
Your eyes narrowed down at her and you frowned, confused for a moment until you realizedâit really was another one of her fucking tricks.
"Reneé, don't be like that, please," You whined, but she shoved you off of her lap and dusted herself off. "How about you don't be pathetic, please?" She mocked, though reached down to help you up. "You should've fucking waited like I told you to. How about you try being a good girl for me next time, yeah?"
Her smirk was big and her eyes were bright as she waved, walking out of the tour bus and shutting the door behind herâleaving you there like she hadn't just left you shaking and desperate for more.
#renee rapp#reneé rapp#reneerapp#reneérapp#renee rapp x you#renee rapp fanfic#renee rapp x reader#reneé rapp x reader#renee rapp x y/n#reneé rapp fanfic#gabe.itches
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helpless glutton
i want you, my feeder, to take me to a buffet. I want you to make me eat. And I mean *eat*. I want you to make an absolute pig of myself, a gluttonous fat fuck stuffing his face Infront of people who look on in concern, murmurs and giggles of people watching this display of lard and excess.
Touch me under the table, remind me who's in charge as I gorge on endless streams of food, burping, farting and making a mess of myself. I'm yours to do with as you please. Tell me what an embarrassing little piggy I am, tell me how people are watching as I uncontrollably binge, the only thing on my mind is pleasing you, dear feeder.
I eat, I grunt, I moan as you touch me. My belly swells and my shirt buttons strain, my arousal obvious in my tight pants. Buttons begin to pop, one by one, releasing my swollen gut, my pants button busts and pings across the restaurant, but still you put more food in front of me. You know I can't and won't stop, even though I'm full, youre sure to whisper in my ear those words that make me keep eating.
I'm yours forever, and I'm going to get very, very fat
#feedee encouragement#feed me#feedee feeder#feedee piggy#feeding kink#gaining weight on purpose#fat belly#feedee belly#belly expansion#gluttonous piggy#gluttony
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âIt is serious,â Apollo countered, brow furrowed at Cassioâs deflection. âIt changed me, whatever it was. It overtook me. I was myself, but I couldnât break out of thisâŠthis trance, and who knows what will happen next time? What if it affects everyone? Thatâs never happened to me before, Cassio. I canât risk something like that happening again. Theo is the only difference. It has to do with him.â He didnât understand his best friendâs reluctance to analyze for traces of magic. âIt wasnât just caught up in the moment. I couldnât think about anything else; I couldnât stop. What if I had hurt Isaac because I was so fucking blinded by whatever that was?âÂ
Finally, he convinced Cassio and the blonde stepped forward and placed his hand on Apolloâs chest. He sighed with relief at finally being heard. He stood still, tracking Cassioâs eyes as he scanned him over. âWhat?â Apollo asked, missing the words Cassio was saying. He felt fuzzy again as if a fever was overtaking him. The blondeâs hands sliding across his chest and arms left his skin with goosebumps. âCass,â He whispered. Memories of the two of them together were brought to the front of his mind. That lithe body of a dancer, flexible in all sorts of ways that the two of them explored together. And they had been good together. They were. They could be again. It was like his entire world focused on the blonde; nothing else could hold his attention except the need for more contact. Cassio rested his forehead against Apolloâs shoulder, and the man squeezed his eyes shut, shivering at the contact. It always came right back to them, didnât it? So why werenât they together?
He turned around to face the blonde, his hands cradling his face. The skin-to-skin contact nearly made him groan. And he knew it was wrong. He knew he and Cassio hadnât been together since they were at Hogwarts, but what was stopping them? Why had they never tried to be together? He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to the blondeâs. They were so close that Apollo could feel his breath on his lips, and if he just closed the inch between them, he could remember what it was like to feel his lips. âCassio,â he whispered, soothingly stroking his thumbs over his cheeks. âLetâs just leave. Fuck it, letâs just leave together. Remember how good we were? It would be even better now.â He dropped one of his hands to Cassioâs chest, fingers curving out the indents between his ribs. âI know you remember. I see it in your face sometimes when you look at me. Let me worship you.âÂ
Oliver stepped into the walk-in pantry, Isaac following behind him. âHe needs rosemary, cayenne pepper, and saffron,â He said absentmindedly. âWouldnât hurt to pull some ginger either. Orion said it can boost the spell and help decrease our little guy's side effects.âÂ
He shuffled through the potion's ingredients, looking for what they needed. So far, nothing had come up. âYou donât have to apologize, Isaac. I know how hard it can be with them, butâŠâ Oliver sighed, shrugging his shoulders. âApollo and Cassio are always going to be Apollo and Cassio. It wonât do us any favors to wedge between them. If anything, itâs just going to make them more secretive. We know their history; if they wanted to be together, they would have made it happen, but theyâve never toyed with the idea of a relationship together, and weâve been with them for years. They choose us instead of each other. Isnât that enough?â He promised himself there in the pantry that he would be a better, more present friend to Isaac. Cassio and Apollo had a way of unintentionally making them both feel like odd men out.Â
âBut I have your back, you know that, right?â He turned to Isaac, shooting him a smile. âBut you should give Cass a chance. Most of the things you get upset at him for are almost always Apolloâs fault anyway, but I get that itâs easier to be mad at my boyfriend than yours.â Oliver narrowed his eyes playfully and returned to the shelve he was shuffling through. âOkay, I officially canât find anything. Where is all of this stuff hiding?â
"Think someone'd be pretty relaxed if they were in your shoes." Cass' lips turned in on themselves. It took damn near every part of his being to keep him from laughing in Apollo's face at that request. His brow did raise at the concern and it was really clear to him that Apollo didn't have the faintest idea what had just happened to him. His gaze landed on the swing door where both his boyfriend and Isaac were now with that child. "Apollo, I really don't think it's that serious." He brushed him off, not sure where his place was meant to be in this because if he was right in what happened between his best friend and his boyfriend upstairs and he said something? He could count his days of private visitation with him as over. "I think you just got caught up in the moment and you guys had it out. Don't be so in your head about it. We don't care." Well, that wasn't entirely true, Oliver cared. He shrugged as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Mostly because it wasn't the worst thing that had happened in Apollo and Isaac's relationship and honestly, who was Cass to start that shit show for them.
And even saying it he know Apollo wouldn't let it go and so he sighed, his head hanging back as he moved to his friend and placed his hands on his chest. "Aside from your afternoon rendezvous and the kid." He smiled, moving his hands down the right arm of Apollo and he assessed with his eyes and then any sense anything he could on his friend. But how did he tell Apollo it was just their veela boyfriend pissing all over him? "How's your day been so far?" He joked, moving from that side to the other and he moved to his backside, tracing lines down his back as he did. "Didn't have time to pick up an extra family three towns over did you? Pull one from your dad's play book?" He teased, his hands sliding up through the other's scalp and he still found nothing.
"Think that kid's a plant?" He asked low, watching over the other's shoulder to the door. He could hear Oliver and Isaac talking animatedly. If nothing else, Cass was happy the two of them got along. And they did too, very well. It would have been nice if just he and Isaac could. Though after today, they would be having a talk. He could appreciate that Isaac didn't like them being friends after all the bullshit they seemed to always be in and drag both he and Oliver in to. "I don't feel like it's their style but it was the only thing that could make sense. I mean ... did you even want a kid? Surely not." He plowed right through that line of thinking without giving him the chance. "I know we said we'd be done soon and I mean it but ..." He sighed, his forehead pressing to Apollo's shoulder blade for comfort. "This shit is real weird, Apollo. I don't like it."
Feeling the weight of the little boy nestled against his chest warmed Isaac to his very core. All the craziness going on with them and yet there was this child, just simply existing in complete and total knowledge that all of them would work to keep him alive and happy. It was something to feel that sort of trust blindly given. It spoke worlds to the way of the world when it came to them as children and them as adults. It was only looking at his sleeping face did Isaac feel that what he'd done to Apollo was wrong. Well, it was more selfish than anything else. He hugged the babe closer and turned to watch Oliver in his mad dash to find whatever it was he was looking for.
He couldn't help but smile at the sight and think how crazily different he was to Cassio. The name turned his nose up slightly but Isaac scolded himself and allowed the thought to fully process. Because Cass was Apollo's best friend and whatever the two of them had overcome in their childhood, Isaac couldn't relate to and shouldn't be too harsh over. If Oliver in all his big ways and thoughts could find a way to let them live and still be happy, he could too. "'m sorry 'bou' earlier." He spoke, not wanting to talk about hem disappearing or the fact that Isaac was starting to tell the after effects of that session more fiercely just then. "I's been a real lon' day 'n I jus' should ha'e been betta abou' everythin'." He spoke a little quieter feeling the boy move and readjust against Isaac's chest. It was hard not to look down at him and just feel this sense that it was right. He wasn't sure if that hurt more than not knowing who he truly was.
"Apollo didn' say wha' exactly we're doin' an' 'm no' sure 'm happy wit' jus' lettin' this poo' boy be subject ta all sorts of magic." He shouldn't have been so protective over this little one but he just couldn't help it. It felt right to speak up on behalf of him but still want the best for him. What the hell was going on? "'m jus' worried ..." Oliver looked at him then with full arms and Isaac drew in a deeper breath. "'m worried for all o' us."
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all of the weather has lost its charm and whimsy it is simply now the land's purposeful torture for me
#i dont want to wear my stupid fuxking coat im gonna be wearing 3 sleeves and i want to die. i want the vape and i want to be nice but i keep#being me and being angry and ive already made like 4 coping memes about how much i wanna kill myself or my boss like im tired im tireddd#let me fucking sleep for 8 months i dont want to be alive if all i am is cruel i want to purposefully lash out so bad all the time and i#have to suppress myself with other alters but even then i still am the one who wakes and sleeps usually. so i wanna fucking die already god#im tired of my hormones im tired of my anger im tired of how much a part of me these things are. theyre all i am. what else do i do with it.#i just want to bite the hand that feeds to test if it would ever feed me again but i cant do that anymore im not a fucking child#but i still want to do it how do i get myself to fucking stop#vent
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Trans? Need a Name?
i will fucking name you hmu
Edit: istg y'all if you want a name ask for one via reblogs and at the very least tell me your gender or pronouns Im not scrolling through all the damn comments and looking at your bio looking for basic info names are reblog only from this point forward (& I probably won't get to it bc I never check my tumblr)
#âoh but a name is so personal how can you name a stranger?â I'm your fucking dad now. I'm gonna name my fucking kids and you cant stop me#if youre trans and already have a name but still want a mostly deadbeat internet dad that works too#i can send you a shitty lil digital card at the holidays it'll be great#if you want a more personalized name (i.e. not a random name that pops into my head but a name w a specific meaning theme etc)#i will do it but itll cost you like 1-5 dollars idk#i need an outlet for naming things other than pets stuffies and myself#im this close to making my middle name Sievert-Nathaniel-Russel#and thats too many fucking names for a middle name#imagine trying to get that monogrammed#it's five names in total it would be a fucking nightmare#thats why i have to name you ppl now#queer#genderqueer#genderfaun#transgender#ftm#nonbinary#transmasc#trans#lgbtqia#transfemme#trangender#transfem#genderfluid#name suggestions#naming#trans names
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idw bumblebee and prowl shouldve broke up bcs he wouldnt stop đsking prowl to pause his report for just one lil astrosec so he can change his various pastel colored pens while making his cute little aesthetically pretty for no reason & very time - consuming notes with big colorful fonts & cute designs real quick
also another thought abt annoying ass bb trying to make running a literal planet cotteque so he doesn't go crazy bcs hes now a politician when all he ever wanted was to deliver mail & smile & wave at bots who call him cute ---
bee: đ heeljack, im so sorry about this but do you mind repeating the time-stakingly long introduction, instruments, research references, modules, hypothesis, counter thesis, procedures, analysis, second - retrial, results, & explanation that you just spent 700000 earth hours saying because i was busy drawing a cute little bee in the corner of my notes please :] ?
wheeljack:
idw bee trying to run a planet that fucking hates him is just rlly funny to me, especially since everyone views bee as the goody character who everyone loves & he views himself as that & then they finally win this consuming war & he can reap his rewards of being loved without holding a gun & no one fucking likes him. hes even getting on his own old team's nerves & not in the loveable scamp way but the get the fuck out of my face way
#everybody regarding bee during the war: aw cute lil guy! bringing some positivity to this cruel war!! his goofups are so sparkwarming#it's ok lil guy!! we will always support u at the end of the day bcs u remind us of our sparks inside & love is rea-#everybody regarding bee constantly fucking up on how to run a wholeass planet: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU#he was just a scout trying to do his best to appease optimus and now hes a bitch still trying to appease optimus for some reason#wheeljack: so i set these tools aside to route a waste system whenever you're ready to establish that legally & ill get to bui-#bumblebee: CAN WE HAVE A TIME MACHINE SO I DONT K*LL MYSELF :D ??#wheeljack: ....... we need a waste system due to disturbed population disrespecting your rules & this planet is getting worse &#bumblebee: please primus wheeljack i Dont know what youre Saying i just want my DaMn tiMeMacHine so people will LiKe mE!!!!#wheeljack: im gonna kill you .#scout bee: grahh who does that guy think he is >:[ im gonna go kick his BUTT!!! being mean to my FRIEND! grah! TAKE THIS#wheeljack: haha no lil guy dont do that ull die lol lets reel back & go back to base to build some cool bombs instead YAYYY they will die :#not US! YAYYYY!!!#* they celebrate in guys who are desensitized to violence *#guys who are desensitized to violence now forced to govern a planet that hates violence but no one else is trusted to do it->#bee: WE NEED TO BUILD SODA FOUNTAINS EVERYWHERE SO PPL WILL STOP PREFERRING WAR CRIMINAL STARSCREAM OVER ME PLS#PLS JACK PLS đž!!!!!#wheeljack: bumblebee i havent blown up a mech besides myself in so fucking long. im so fucking close.#when ur squad so fucked up the mentally ill undiagnosed ppl pleaser obsessed teachers pet bitch is the best choice#to run a planet bcs everyone else will bomb 99% of the populatjon and leave#bee stills bombs like 5% of it but it's ok bcs theyre decepticons & theyre bad guys & this is def not problematic thinking at all :)#<- literally murder#transformers idw#bumblebee#wheeljack#prowl#transformers#maccadam#tf idw
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AIGHT THE REVIEWS ARE IN
imeda i love you this fic has bewitched me body and soul i legit am no longer able to can neo is whats keeping me sane atp thank u for making this i will never ever recover (wrote this as i was reading lol)
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I MADE A MEME LMAO
odysseus what the fuck dude. step the fuck up. what the fuck >:[
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âI would rather my son fade into obscurity than live a life like yours, rotten and vicious, remembered for nothing but the lives you took and the agony you caused." BITCH WHO DID THAT??? WHO??
"Youâll be remembered as Achillesâ son, who fought for less than him and destroyed everything he touched.â OH NO HE FUCKING DIDNT
the line neo spits to ody abt tele being the opposite of him bc he was untouched for 20 years fucked me up i hope ur happy
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first telemachus appearance whoop whoop *bites him cutely*
also neo being absolutely whipped FROM HIS VOICE ALONE (he called him pretty 3 seconds ago but whatever) SENT ME LMAO
obligatory agamemnon slander lol. also i adore the post odyssey setting its genius its brilliant its everything i ever wanted in life and more. also odypen giggling over war plans has no right being this funny to me
HE CALLED HIM BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT *explodes*
squeaking like a fruit bat over here lmao my heart
"... acquainted" my ass neo (i love u). GET HIS ASS TELE AHAHAHHAH god i want to draw them so horrifically bad
THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. OH MY GOD THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. theyre married ur honour
imeda i had no idea neo was this fucking down bad for tele this is the funniest thing ive ever seen in my life neo is so angsty and brooding the whole time (and rightfully so lol) and then tele looks at him and hes like damn i no longer want to disembowel myself with the dagger (engraved with his faveourite flower/ plant) he gifted me
HNBHGNBHJMNBHJNHNHJMNH HE SAID THE F WORD (FRIEND)
lmao dinner with the in laws! odysseus get rekt
i need neo and deidamia shenanigans i think theyre both menaces.
LMAO NEO MY BABY I CANT. his dates training sessions with tele are purely to train him as the biggest fuck u to ody and not at all to spend more time with the crown prince. as one does of course.
all i can think of is tele as that one vine: i am NOT chicken little XD
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argos!! idc what yall say he is alive and well and gnawing on the bones of suitors.
THE PALMS OF HIS HAND IM CRYING AND BEGGING U TO STOP ur so cruel i love u pls continue and torture him (and me) harder
neos PTSDyyseus (geddit?) is slowly killing me. cant wait to see how this plays out esp if tele does something that really strikes a nerve
ody: u just want attention, u dont want my sons heart neo: *throws his throne at him*
the love and a slit throat line is so raw and beautiful, something tells me its a favourite of yours as it is a maxim to neo lol
neo was really harsh and tele has unlocked 17 new kinks asdfgh. stop falling deeper in love with him its going to break u neo wake tf up
"He likes this look on Telemachusâ face. He likes the fiery determination, the indignation, the rage. He likes this Telemachus just as much as he likes the sweet one who could grow flowers with his touch alone. He thinks that not as many people get to see this Telemachus." god help me. my beans >:')
OHOHOHOOH "holding her close to him with a kind of desperation that Neoptolemus recognizes" FUCK
i think i remember a snippet of where neo says deidamia would gladly accept pyrrhus back, but neo was no longer him, and it still hurts to think of. well done u truly have a way with words and imagery that compounds the gravity of the situation and spins them into a morsel that loves to squat in the middle of your throat and make u feel things.
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fuck i just got to the underworld bit and im sick to my stomach. fuck. *combusts in nonexistent daddy issues* *heals only to die again worse*
OH MY GOD. NO U CANT DO THIS TO ME. HOW DARE U MAKE IT WORSE neo now being scared bc his dad cared and he can no longer tell himself welp its not like achilles' approval mattered anyway. FUCK
âHe regretted much in his life, but you were never one of those things,â WHAT IF I CRIED. WHAT THEN?
lol tele pulling if not his friend then mine shit. love that for him
polites?? polites in my neomachus fic?? america exblain. (no seriously pls im genuinely confused, didnt he die via zeus?)
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in conclusion:
neo: *punches tele's nose* fuck you
tele: *bleeding profusely* i love u too
neomachus my one and only tether to sanity (and my moots ofc)
(fun fact i made this before getting to the part where neo actually punches him in the nose and ngl i feel great no one talk to me lmao)
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also also while reading i was humming along to blue eyes and guess what im gifting neo lmao. its 17 times funnier to me now after reading bc they flirt by nearly killing each other.
anyway bless you eternally, tysm for writing and gracing my eyes and heart and nourishing my soul with this ship lol, best of luck in uni may u pass every exam with flying colours and eat ur favourite food always
givin u a bajillion kudos ao3 cant tell me what to do >:(
also fable and truth slaps lol like its such a great opening chapter title
HELLOOOO EVERYBODY!!!
chapter one of my neomachus fic, someday i know youâll come to your senses, is finally up!! you can check it out HERE!!
#my parents: everyone be quiet shes studying#she:#no regrets i love my babies and would commit crimes for them#neomachus#my bebes#neoptolemus#pyrrhus#telemachus#fic stuff#the amount of serotonin this gave me is absolutely getting me through exam season >:3#me 21 sipping mint tea and reading abt a 22 yo child soldier and his many many issues & crises: damn hes just like me fr#lol#pls excuse my incoherence#it will happen again#ALSO#found a single spelling mistake#neos name is missing an l somewhere lol#just so ya know
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Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...
You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.
And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?
(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)
Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?
You can't think about yourselfâ acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.
You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.
#Dimension 20#fig faeth#fhjy#Idle Chatter#my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art#because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make#the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art#which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!!#so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist#anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way#ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH#BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU#it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem#you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life#if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates#SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters
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#I remember a few years ago there was one artist that really liked Gil and they were constantly drawing him and talking about him#and one day I saw a message from them that Gil started to make them anxious and feel terrible#because of the whole thing in the fandom that revolves around his character and stuff like that#and they've gone tired of him and stopped liking him and moved to other fandom#and at that moment I felt really sad because I loved how they were drawing Gil#and the fact that they stopped liking him their own reasons just made me feel bad as well#and a few years later I understand that person because whenever I see a certain toxic ship and people that are shipping them#just makes me hate myself and him#because I feel like a total hypocrite for liking such terrible character#and I don't know what to do with that feeling because I really don't want to hate Gilgamesh because he means a lot to me#he helped me to get through a lot of tough times and I know that he's much more than this toxic douchebag#and that I love him not because of that trait but still...#like I could've chosen some other character as my fave#someone like Link or Vash or Ichigo from Bleach but no... I've chosen this golden prick...#maybe I am just as fucked up in the head as those people who into *that* toxic relationship...#personal
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