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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years ago

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Babylon (l.h)

End Up Here -Part 5

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x 5sos! Fem! Reader

Summary: A lot has happened and too many things were left unsaid. Even after a month they still find ways to be in each others mind.

Warnings: Angst and smut. Mentions of vioence, physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, harassment, cheating, fighting, sexism, frustrations, alcohol. Language and some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count : 10.1 k

Author’s Note: I cried a lot writing this, so I’m sorry. Final Part coming up March 16th! Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help me ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Series Materialist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4

Liked by banksmadden, 5soslover55 and 1,750,316 others

yn5sos how did I end up here?

View all 55,432 comments

ashtonirwin who’s there with you?

hater7 pathetic

ynfan2 LEAVE HER ALONE PLEASE

5sosfan9 this is so irresponsible. I thought you were better.

↪️ yn5sos me too

“OUT OF CONTROL: Singer Y/N L/N seeing partying once again after the concert. L/N was last seen with a crowd of people, none of which were her bandmates”

“Sensitive, are we? On their last concert, Y/N L/N from the band 5 Seconds of Summer was caught running away from the stage mid-show, leaving her poor bandmates Calum Hood and Michael Clifford to finish the song for her. L/N came back minutes later to finish the show. Videos show the singer crying along to the love songs”

“5SOS BREAKING UP? SINGER Y/N L/N GOING M.I.A ON BAND’S SOCIAL MEDIA LEAVES FANS CONFUSED AND WORRIED”

“Y/N?!” Ashton kept banging at the door. His patience ran thin as the girl refused to answer “Y/N! C’mon!”

“She’s still not answering?” A voice called behind him.

Calum and Michael were already dressed up, ready for another day of interviews in a foreign language. Ashton assumed that the girls were already downstairs waiting for them.

The older man shook his head, frustration clear on his face as he kept banging on the door like it was his drums.

“Y/N, I will break down the door if you don’t open it!”

It wasn’t an empty promise. They could pay the hotel after but he’d be damned if something happens to Y/N.

She hasn’t been herself since Luke left. When they came back from doing promo that day they were met with the news of him leaving. Y/N didn’t leave her room that whole day.

They were mad, furious even, with Luke. All the things they warned him about were thrown down the drain. They told them not to believe the media and to talk to Y/N but he did none of those things, he only made it worse for all of them, especially the girl who was now spending half the tour absent-minded over heartbreak.

She told them several times that she was fine “I asked him to leave” She would say. But they know better than to believe her right away when she says those stuff, not after that night when she told them the truth about Madden. They swore never to make that mistake again, but history was repeating itself! Only this time it was ten times worse.

Y/N would go out every night after the show, no matter in which part of the world they found themselves in. She was determined to drown herself in alcohol rather than self-pity. They tried to spot her several times but she wouldn’t listen, so they agreed that at least one of them would accompany her whenever she went out just to make sure that she is safe and that she doesn’t go too far.

Last night, however, it was Michael’s turn but Beth felt sick so he couldn't go. He texted Calum, but he was already asleep so he didn’t see the message. Ashton was out with Dani for a date night and when he came back he found Michael in the lobby asking for some medicine for Beth’s stomach and when Calum answered their call with a sleepy voice they realized that Y/N was alone.

And now she wouldn’t answer the door.

“Y/N, I swear to God!”

“Why do you gotta bring the lord into this?”

The three men turned around and found Y/N standing next to them. Her hair was messy and her makeup was smudged, but his eyes remained empty as she looked at them quizzically.

“Were you already downstairs this whole time?!” Ashton asked, raising his voice. Y/N cringed as she shushed him.

“Ugh, could you talk any louder? My head is killing me”

Calum looked at his friend up and down, realizing what was happening “You just came back, didn’t you?”

All three of them turned their heads to her, unable to believe what was in front of them. This wasn’t the Y/N they knew. She was never like this, ever.

Y/N rolled her eyes at the sad, angry, and pitiful looks of her friends. She didn’t need to answer what was obvious.

“Where were you all this time?” Michael asked “We were worried sick”

“Wow, thanks dad,” She said with sarcasm, walking towards her door as she tried to find her key somewhere along with her pockets “I was at the bar. Did you know they open 24 hs? There’s no such thing as the last call here! I love this country”

She let out a little squeal of joy when she finally found her key, pushing Ashton out of the way with the side of her body as she inserted it on the lock.

“We have an interview in 30 minutes!” He reminded her.

“Yeah, your girl told me that downstairs” She answered before she started to close the door “Have fun with that”

But before she could close it completely, Ashton’s foot got in the way.

“You can’t keep doing this, Y/N,” He said with a serious tone, ignoring the pain of the door hitting his foot, still trying to close on him.

Y/N pushed a little harder “I want to sleep, Ashton. Good night”

“No! Goddammit, Y/N. This has gone too far!”

She opened the door, making Ashton trip, and almost fell to the floor in front of her. She was beyond pissed as she began to talk.

“No! Everything has already gone too far, I’m just catching up!” She spat loudly, making the boys look at her in surprise “Madden went too far, the media went too far, the industry went too far and Luke went too far. And I let them crash into me like I’m just a bystander, waiting to pick up the pieces they left of me! So excuse me for finally doing whatever they thought I did. Forgive me for catching up to this fucked up world and finally live up to their false expectations! But I’m not allowed to break down, not right now and probably not ever! So I will keep running. Maybe that way, if I catch up, they’ll leave me the fuck alone” Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke, but she will not cry in front of them. Not anymore “So, good fucking night”

Ashton closed his eyes when he felt the wind of the door slamming inches away from his face. He raised his hand to knock again, but soon he let it fall with a sigh.

He turned around to face the guys and they all had the same hurt expression, not because she hurt them, but because she was hurting herself. They all thought she was doing it unconsciously, but now it was rather obvious that she knew exactly what she was doing.

Y/N is destroying herself because there’s almost nothing left of her. So she’s speeding up the process.

“We can’t leave her like that” Michael said in a whisper, none of them were looking at the door right now, all their eyes were set on the floor as they contemplated their options.

“Well, she doesn’t want to see us. That’s for fucking sure” Calum murmured.

The three men stood in silence in the hallway. Breathing heavily from time to time as their minds tried to find a way to reach out to Y/N before it was too late.

“We have to do something” Michael broke the silence again, fidgeting with his fingers as he met the worried eyes of his two best friends “The fans are already saying that she’s going to leave the band and-“

“No,” Ashton interrupted him, clenching his jaw as the headlines of the articles ran through his mind “We are not letting that happen”

“But what if she wants to?”

“Then that’s not our Y/N/N,” He said “And I refuse to lose her this way or in any way, for that matter”

After a few minutes, it was clear that Y/N was not coming out of her room any time soon. So the boys had to get downstairs to get to the interviews, already thinking about excuses to justify her absence once again.

They wanted to stay with her, but management was already being too hard on them as it is, and they didn’t want Y/N to pay the consequences if they didn’t show up to at least one promo interview. So they had no choice but to leave her alone in her room.

Once the elevator doors opened, the three of them were met with the worried eyes of their girlfriends who quickly met up with them halfway.

“How is she doing? She didn’t speak to us when she came through the doors” Bethany explained as she stood next to Michael, grabbing his hand in comfort.

Ashton just shook his head.

“We talked,” Kat said with a sigh “We decided that we are staying here with her”

“What?”

“You’ll be fine in the interviews without us, but she needs someone. Even if we just wait for her in the lobby all day. Someone needs to check up on her” Kat continued.

“She’s lonely,” Danielle followed, “Even if she doesn’t want to admit it. She’s hurting too much for words to even describe”

The boys knew they were right. Even if Y/N doesn’t want to, they will still be there for her every step of the way. They were not going to leave her to drown.

“Thank you,” Ashton said, truthfully “But there’s gotta be something else we could do for her… just standing by and keeping an eye on her while she wastes away is just…”

He couldn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t need to. They all knew what he was referring to; that damn feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.

“We’ll figure something out,” Calum said confidently “We are not going to give up on her”

There was nothing much to do back in L.A. as Luke found out when he stepped out of the plane almost a month ago. His life has completely changed since he met her and now… Now she was gone and he was left with nothing.

It was his own fault, that’s what he reminded himself every single day since the morning Y/N asked him to leave. He acted on emotions rather than with reason, angry with the world that allowed him to get close to her just to rip her out of his hands the moment he realized his mistakes. He should’ve listened, should’ve fought, should’ve stayed. He should’ve done a lot of things and now he doesn’t even have the chance to fix it.

He hasn’t checked anything about Y/N since he came back. No articles, no tweets, no posts… nothing. He feels as if he didn’t have the right anymore. He never had the right to do it from the beginning, not without letting them fill his brains with lies that eventually left him in pieces.

How could he? How could he let all those things get to him? Everyone told him to ignore them, not to believe the lies that were written for the clicks and the gossip. He knew the truth, he lived with it, and yet, he had turned on her the second it had become too much.

Y/N was a private person and Luke could never understand why. Why if she was so private with her life did every news article write about her? They were all lies. And if he had at least an ounce of decency he would’ve realized that sooner and stand by her side instead of siding with the media. Yet, those thoughts were sticking with him at the back of his head, haunting him even in his sleep.

How easy it was for him to turn away from her. How easy it was for him to leave her. But how hard it was to ignore the love he feels for her, knowing that she won’t take him back and with good reason. Y/N deserves better, in every way, shape, or form. She was such a bright light in such a dark world, and he just hopes she will be strong enough to see it someday, even if he’s not by her side anymore.

God, he was just a fucking idiot.

And now, as he walked past the coffee shop where they first met while he fought the urge to cry again, he was willing to beat himself up for it. For losing the only person he cared about just because he wasn’t brave enough to fight for her as he should’ve. There wasn’t anything that didn’t remind him of Y/N, nothing he could do to shake the self-inflicted pain he caused, so he thought better than to let it consume him.

Luke sat on an empty bench near the campus, his classes didn’t start until a month from today but he longed for some kind of distraction. Once he settled, he took out his notebook and started writing. He doesn’t write about love anymore, rather he wrote about the loss of it while still mourning it fresh on the flesh. Finally understanding what Ashton meant when he said that heartbreak breaks you, and, for a moment, he thought about how she might feel at this moment; if she, at least once, thought of him with something wasn’t hate.

He spent hours sitting outdoors, writing as if his time were to end at any moment. He wrote letters of forgiveness, poems of grief, and free thoughts of the guilt he was feeling. He didn’t mention her, but they were all about and for her. For his Y/N who was now a world away and who he will not call his ever again.

It must’ve been late when his phone started to ring; the streetlights were starting to lit up the pavement as the sun started to set, leaving soft shades of pink and purple to cover up the sky. He didn’t know the number, so he let it ring thinking it might be just one company trying to sell him something he didn’t need.

But the unknown caller was relentless; calling and calling until Luke decided to answer after the fourth time.

“Hello?” He said, annoyed by the interruption. He didn’t want to talk to anyone; not like he had anyone to talk to, after all.

“You fucker” The voice at the other end said. Luke froze when he recognized it.

“A-Ashton?”

“Were you expecting the fucking queen?” He sounded angry and even through the phone he left Luke completely intimidated as he sunk into his seat.

“How - Whose number is this?” Luke asked, knowing he had all their numbers saved in his phone.

“Would you have answered if you saw my name on the screen?” He wouldn’t, they both know it. But at the same time…

“Why are you calling me?” He finally muttered, his head wrapped around the only reason Ashton, out of all people, would be calling him. He knew it was not to catch up “Is Y/N okay?! Did something happen to her?!”

Something must be terribly wrong if Ashton was calling him. That man was very protective over his best friend and Luke was sure he would’ve killed him if he found him the day where he yelled at her, knowing that Y/N must’ve told him everything. He knew Y/N was not going to forgive him and neither will the boys for that matter. That day he lost more than just his girl.

Ashton laughed without any kind of humor “No, she’s not. Of course, she’s not! You happened to her, mate. I don’t know what the fuck you did but she hasn’t been the same since you left.”

Luke’s eyes widened “She didn’t tell you?”

If he thought about it, it really wasn’t that surprising. Y/N never talked about her problems with him, but the boys always knew everything, them being the only people she knew she could trust with her whole heart. Luke had always been jealous of that, but once he found out the truth of why she kept some things for herself he understood why she could only trust her bandmates with it. He immediately thought that she would tell them everything, every word he said and the hateful words he wrote, but she didn’t and that could not mean anything good.

“She told us enough. That you believed the lies of her and Madden and didn’t let her explain before you lashed out and she asked you to leave. Not a single detail about it, only that you were gone and were not coming back. I guess she didn’t want us to kick your ass, but Luke, you better be certain that-”

“I know!” Luke said with a sigh “I deserve it”

“Dude, what the fuck did you do to her?”

How could he tell him? How could he mutter the courage to tell one of his best friends how he absolutely fucked up? Ashton would hate him, with every reason in the world he should hate him. Luke just hoped that he didn’t.

He, Calum, and Michael were the only friends he knew since he met Y/N. They took him in, welcomed him into the group with gritted teeth with the only condition to never hurt their friend. And after a year of being friends, he broke not only Y/N’s trust but theirs as well. And the fact that Y/N didn’t tell them what he’d done seemed cruel because now he had to. Breaking more hearts than their own.

“I fucked up, Ash” Luke muttered, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips as he crouched forward on the bench and placing his elbows on the top of his thighs, getting ready to face the consequences of his actions “I fucked up badly. I was just- You saw those articles, you saw those tweets and those photos. She never talked about him so I thought… What was I supposed to think? She had a reputation, and with the way, she acted the night before it all made sense to me. So I snapped”

“Luke, I swear to GOD if you touched her-”

“NO! God no, I would never!” Luke quickly stated, horrified at the thought of ever hitting her. He was not like that. He would never be like that “But the things I said to her… fuck, Ash. I threw everything in her face, called her a whore and a cheater without giving her a chance to explain herself. I was so fucking angry and she didn’t say a word. She took all of it in silence and I kept going, even when she begged me to stop I kept going... I didn’t know. You must know that I didn’t know what happened to her or her past with Madden. If I knew then I would’ve never-”

“But you did”

Ashton's words were simple, but they cut deeper than a knife through Luke’s heart. He never heard him sound so disappointed and angry. It reminded him of her and the last words she said to him.

“Luke, this girl has been through so much and you still went and dragged her through the mud just to hurt her”

“I didn’t want to-”

“Don’t fucking interrupt me” Ashton barked into the phone “You did. She gave you everything she could give and you threw it on her face like it was nothing without a chance to explain herself. And it’s not like she could run off, turn off her comments and go back to a normal life! I have never seen Y/N so broken since-” He stopped “What did she tell you?”

Luke knew he was referring to Madden. He remembers her face covered in tears, lips trembling and body shaking as she told him what happened in that relationship. He finally saw the hurt and scars that covered her soul.

“She told me what she could”

Ashton sighed “Then you must know that she would never go back to him,” He said, Luke could tell by his voice that he was hurting, too “He met her at a concert in our second world tour as a solo act. He is the son of a very famous producer and they hit it off right away. We didn’t know exactly when things turned for the worse, but we knew something was happening. She would cover herself more, never hanging out with us unless he was present, she wouldn’t eat in front of him or talk to any of us directly unless it was something about work and that still pissed him off. We all heard the rumors of him cheating on her, but she always dismissed them saying that he loved her and he would never do that. I still wonder what other things we didn’t know that she’s still processing.

It wasn’t until the night he almost killed her that we understood the severity of it. She came by my house while I and the others were hanging out. She was bleeding all over herself, her face was covered in blood just as her shirt and pants. It was terrifying; I don’t remember ever driving that far to the hospital, paying the nurses to keep quiet because she kept asking to keep it a secret. That bastard broke her nose and one of her ribs. She had bruises on her arms, stomach, eye, inner thighs, and legs and a cut over her eyebrow. She lost a lot of blood on her way to my house so Calum had to donate some of his because she needed a transfusion. She stayed in the hospital overnight; the next morning we filed a restraining order against Madden and she moved in with me that same day, promising herself and to us that she would never let someone do that again to her. We promise we would never let anything happen to her from that moment on”

Luke was shedding silent tears at Ashton’s story, all the things he imagined happened to her didn’t compare to the reality she suffered. And he only made it worse.

“She was never the same after that” Ashton continued “Until you came into the picture”

Ashton could hear Luke crying over the phone, his sniffs had given him away. But he knew he needed to hear this; he needed to know.

“We didn’t want you to get close to her, afraid you might hurt her the same way Madden did, but she insisted that you were different, that you were a good guy. And against our better judgment, we believed her. We never expected that little by little, we would get our Y/N/N back. She was smiling again, laughing and singing songs about the love we never thought she’d be able to sing again. It was so obvious that she loved you that we couldn't do anything about it but be happy for her, you brought her back to us.

I guess Madden saw that and didn’t like it, that’s why he came to see her that night. We don’t know much about what happened there or what he said to her, but she was shaking when she came back. All she said was that he cornered her, threatened her and called the paparazzi that worked for his father to take pictures of them, and since we were not in America, there was nothing the restraining order to do to help her”

“He did what?!” Luke shouted at the phone, fuming over the fact that that fucker decided to get close to her when she was vulnerable. He promised that if he ever saw him he’d kill him.

“Now you care about what happened?” Ashton asked in return, frustration lacing his voice at Luke’s sudden feeling of protection “Luke, she called you over ten times that day as she was breaking down in the green room. She asked us all if we could get ahold of you because the driver came back without you. She was so fucking scared and you weren’t there when she needed you by her side. So don’t you fucking dare get offended right now. It already happened and you weren’t there”

Ashton was right. Luke had no right to be furious at the moment, given that he was the one who abandoned her deliberately when he saw the pictures of her and her abuser. He had the excuse of ignorance, but that wasn’t enough. It never has, not it ever will be, because his girlfriend needed him at the time and he left her alone.

He cried into the phone, not caring if Ashton could listen or not. He was so fucking angry at himself, at Madden, at the world… He was supposed to protect her, he said he would and then he gave the final punch. He failed her because of his insecurities.

“I’m sorry” He cried, but Ashton was having none of that.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing for”

“She doesn’t want to-”

“Listen to me you shit” Ashton hissed into the phone “I don’t care what you think she wants. She is destroying herself over the fact that the last person she thought would hurt her left her because he chose to believe the lies of the media over his own girlfriend”

Luke’s heart broke all over again “She’s what?”

“Oh my god, how dense are you, dude? Now you decide to ignore the gossip?! She’s been going out all night, drinking herself to death and refusing help from any of us. She is slowly killing herself by killing her soul” He sounded worried, scared even, as he muttered the last words “We are losing her”

“Wh-what can I do?” Luke asked helplessly. Not being able to bear the thought of Y/N being gone.

“We booked you a flight. Figure it out and don’t make us regret it”

“Forgetting the lyrics again? Y/N L/N surely knows how to displease an audience”

“Y/N L/N MISSES YET ANOTHER INTERVIEW AFTER PAPARAZZI CAUGHT HER AT A PARTY THE NIGHT BEFORE”

“What is going on with YN?”

He arrived late to the hotel, having his flight delayed for a few hours, and the boys were already waiting for him in the lobby. Luke took a deep breath as he spotted them from afar, they were talking among them, concerned looks covering their expressions as they looked through their phone.

Luke walked up to them, mustering enough courage to say “Hi,”

The three men turned towards the blonde, Calum quickly walking up to him and punching him in the face, caught Luke by surprise as he backed up holding his nose and looking at Calum with widened, surprised eyes.

“That’s for hurting my best friend, you asshole!” He said, making the other guests look in their direction.

Luke hissed as he made sure he wasn’t bleeding “Thank you. I deserved that” He said, blinking twice “But to be honest I was expecting Ashton to deliver the blow”

“Calum won at rock, paper, scissors” Ashton shrugged “But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. We still need to have a serious talk and I might punch you there”

Luke nodded, understanding that he did not only fail Y/N, but he also failed them. He promised them that he would take care of their best friend and they believed him. They even helped them get together and served as trust advisers for Luke about what it means to date a celebrity and yet he ignored every single one of them.

He might never get their trust back, but now they needed to focus on other things more important than that.

“Where is she?” He asked.

“Out,” Michael answered “The girls went with her. We don’t want her to be alone when she’s drunk”

They started walking towards the door, getting into the car that would take them to Y/N and the rest of the girls. “Do you know what you will say to her when you see her?” Calum asked.

“No,” Luke answered honestly “I guess I’ll know then”

“And you better not fuck it up again, Hemmings, or I swear it’s going to be the last thing you do”

The dance floor was crowded. People were dancing one against the other as the beats of the songs reverberated all over their bodies and started the flame of having just one night of fun. Among them it was Y/N, dancing in the corner with her friends and ignoring their concerned eyes as she moved freely thanks to the alcohol that was cursing through her veins. She knew she had to wake up soon, but she just wanted to keep living this dream every night instead of facing the nightmares that would come in the morning.

She missed how easy everything was before that night when the nightmare started. When she couldn’t find Luke in the crowd of their concert nor their bedroom late at night. Now she doesn’t even want to go to sleep, knowing that she won’t find him there ever again, all because she asked him to leave.

But he wanted to leave, even before she asked him he was already getting his stuff to leave her “cheating ass”, writing words that describe their relationship as toxic. Is that what it was? Were they toxic or just scared? She couldn’t tell the difference anymore, not after spending night after night trying to erase those words out of her mind, but they were already scared forever in her skin. She promised herself she would carry them as a battle wound, as proof that no matter what you do, you could never win when the whole world seems against you even when you have done nothing wrong… Unlike now.

She knew what she was doing, she knew she was disappointing a lot of people. She was disappointed in herself, too, but she couldn’t stop. The world was finally telling truths about her and it felt nice to at least have that. They denied her the truths for so long, feeding everyone lies that they would believe without hesitation or her explanation, just like Luke did, and now she was finally acting like people supposed she had. Now, at least she had control over that.

She wondered if Luke ever thinks about her. If he’s forgiven her for whatever he thinks she’s done or if he continues to read the articles and rejoice in the fact that he was right, even when he wasn’t, he was right. Maybe he’d be proud?

“Darling, are you alright?” She heard Bethany shout over the music. All the girls were looking at her. She didn’t realize she stopped dancing.

However, she just nodded “I’m going to get more drinks!” She said, faking a smile even though the girls could tell that she was crying. But she was so far out she couldn’t even feel the tears that rolled down her cheek.

Y/N gripped the marble countertop of the bar, trying to hold herself steady. She was thinking again, she didn’t want to think anymore. She ordered two shots of tequila and drowned them down before asking for two more. But before she could drown the fourth one, someone snatches the drink out of her hand.

“Heeey” She slurred “Don’t get between me and my- oh, hello!” She smiled happily at the stranger who took her drink from her “You look a lot like my ex-boyfriend”

Luke’s eyes widened at the word. She has never called him her boyfriend in front of people before. He glanced behind her and saw Michael, Ashton, and Calum already standing next to their girls, nodding encouragingly at him.

“Ex-boyfriend?” He asked, eyes meeting hers and noticing the glimmer of tears in them. But she kept on smiling and nodding before she started to pout.

“But shhhhh,” She said, laying her head on the counter, almost like she wanted to take a nap “It’s a secret. No one knows we’re together… or were together. They will never leave him alone if they find out”

“Who?”

Y/N looked to the sides, almost as if making sure no one was listening before she leaned into him and whispered “The media,” Then she started to giggle “If they found out I have a boyfriend then they will want to know everything about him! And poor Luke wouldn’t be able to handle that, he shouldn’t go through that”

Luke’s heart broke at the sight of the drunk girl sighing in the bar, holding her empty shot glass and sniffing every other word to stop the tears from falling.

“He doesn’t deserve that, the hate. He’s a good guy, a little shy and awkward, but he’s nice. But the media is cruel and a liar, and I don’t want him to feel baaaaad. How stupid it is that because I love someone they should get hated on, right? Hahaha, I just wanted to protect hiiiim, cause I love him sooo so much. I even protected him from my friends! You know?! I never told them what he did to me in case they wanted to keep their friendship going, Luke is a very shy guy and he loved them very muchhh, I couldn't take that from him"

“Even if he hurt you?” Luke’s words were careful and filled with pain. When the boys told him that she was getting drunk each night he never imagined her this far gone. He never imagined her this sad.

Y/N shook his head “I deserved to get, hic, hurt” She said between hiccups “He said I was a cheating whore monster liar, b-b-but I don’t blame himmmm. I’m sad but at least he doesn’t have to deal with me anymore and this BULLSHIT” She yelled, throwing her hands up to the sky. But then she started crying, sobbing as she tumbled backward before Luke caught her.

Luke was trying to contain his own tears as she sobbed into his embrace “I just want to tell him that I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him from myself” She cried “I wanted to be happy with him but we are both sad and toxic for each other. That’s what he said in his poem. I-I-I just w-want him to be ha-happy”

Luke cried as he held her, burying his face into her hair as both of their bodies trembled. Even when she had every right to hate him, she still wants to protect him. Something he should’ve done.

“I’m so sorry, my love” He cried, making Y/N look at him with worried, tearful eyes.

“Oh, don’t cry, stranger,” She said as she cupped his face and wiped his tears “I’m sad but you should be happy!”

“Why?”

“C-cause you’re not me”

Luke stared into her eyes, she was smiling while the tears kept falling. Even at her lowest, she tried to be strong for everyone around her, even the stranger she thought he was. He pressed his lips on a thin line and nodded, hugging her tighter as if he was trying to hold on to the last piece of her that didn’t show coldness to him before she remembers everything in the morning. At least he would hold her one more time.

Y/N didn’t understand much of what was happening but she returned the hug with the same energy, letting the stranger cry into her shoulder as she rubbed his back with her fingertips, wondering what Luke was doing right now. She decided that she didn’t want to know.

“I want to sleep,” She said after a minute of holding the man.

Luke pulled away from her, wiping his tears as he nodded “Then let’s get you to bed, my love”

She shook his head, pulling on his hand as he tried to walk them out of the club “But Luke won’t be there when I wake up”

All the wind was knocked out of his lungs, did she want him there? “I’ll be there,” He said.

“What?”

“He’ll be there. I promise”

Luke gave one last look at the group. They were all staring at him with worried and hopeful eyes, actually surprised that this didn’t end badly just yet. Luke nodded at them and pulled Y/N with him, the rest of the guys followed him into the car as they made their way back to the hotel.

Y/N slept all the way back, her head was placed in Luke’s shoulder as the blond kept staring at her, silent tears still dying on his cheek. The guilt was eating him alive; it was painful to see her this way, but at the same time he knew that she was at peace as she slept, letting the world fade for at least a few minutes before reality came crashing down.

When they reached the hotel, Luke carried her back into her room. He sat her down on the bed and started to take off her shoes as she lazily rubbed the tiredness from her eyes, suddenly waking up for a moment.

“Luke?” She asked. Luke raised his head and was met with her eyes already locked with his, a glaze of new tears adorned her pupils as she whispered “Am I dreaming right now?”

“No,” He answered, voice as soft as hers as he got up and placed a kiss on the top of her head “No, you’re not, darling”

“Good. I always hate to wake up without you there” She said, looking over her shoulder to the empty side where Luke used to sleep.

They both stayed quiet for the rest of the night. Luke took off her silk shirt and leather pants and helped her put on one of the big shirts she’s used to sleeping in. He wiped the makeup off her face and followed her nighttime routine without missing a step. When she was done, she curled up to her side and quickly fell into a deep slumber.

Luke stared at the girl, his heart aching for her as he saw how fragile she looked while she slept. He thought about all the things she said that night, how he never considered her side of the story before. How he just assumed that she was hiding him because she didn’t want people to find out she was taken when in reality she didn’t want people to hurt him the way they hurt her. The way he hurt her.

Tears started to pick up in his eyes again. He hated to cry but there was nothing else he could do at the moment. Everything became too much too fast and he didn’t know if he could fix it. So all he could do was cry for the girl he loves and the girl he lost, not knowing if she would ever come back to him.

“I’m sorry” He whispered in a quiet sob, getting into bed with her and holding her close “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry, my love” He kept murmuring into her hair until sleep claimed him as well.

The next morning Y/N wakes up in her hotel bed but she doesn’t know how she got there. She looks to her side but the bed is empty, yet she finds an aspirin and a bottle of water in her nightstand. She wonders who was the poor soul that had to go with her last night to make sure she doesn't end up drunk in a ditch, at least they succeeded.

Then she hears water running up in the bathroom and her heart sinks. Did she bring someone here last night? No, she wouldn’t do that. But she was very drunk… Oh my god, what did she do?

Luke could hear her shuffling in the bed as he brushed his teeth. “It is now or never,” He thought, but he didn’t know what he would find behind the door. She didn’t know him yesterday, but today was another story and Luke’s heart shrank at the thought of Y/N hating him for coming back, even if it was to apologize to her. He was terrified, but he was tired of running away.

As soon as he opened the door he was met with Y/N’s surprised gaze. The girl was quick to cover herself up, cheeks tinted red at the sight of her ex-boyfriend in her hotel room. She didn’t miss the flash of hurt that ran through his face when she did that.

“Luke…” She said in one breath, suddenly feeling self-conscious by his presence “What are you- Did we-?”

“No,” He answered quickly, stepping closer to the bed “No, we didn’t. You were drunk and I- You know I would never do that to you”

“I thought we didn’t know each other…”

Her words lingered in the air between them, creating a tension that could be cut with a knife. How fast did they become strangers when they used to know every single cardinal point of their bodies, every breath they took and what they meant, every sigh, every look… Now they were just two people in a room with so much to say but with no words coming out of either of their mouths.

Luke noticed how her eyes changed. While they were no longer filled with tears, they now laid emotionless in front of him, dull and empty as she stared at him.

“I did this to her,” He thought “I took the light of her eyes. It’s my fault”

She cleared her throat, breaking the silence as she spoke “Well, thank you for bringing me here last night. You can go now” She said, tearing her eyes away from him as she sat on her edge of the bed.

Luke stood still “No,”

“I’m asking you to leave” Y/N clarified, her voice growing stronger but still a bit sore.

“And I’m telling you I’m not going” He responded, taking tentative steps towards her “Something I should’ve done all those weeks ago”

He was standing in front of her in a matter of seconds; he crouched to meet her eyes but she quickly turned her face away “Y/N, please” He begged, his hand coming to rest on her cheek as his knuckles caressed her skin while the other one was placed on top of her hands, both intertwined with each other on top of her thighs “You could look at me yesterday, please don’t deny me at least that. Let me see you, my love”

But Y/N didn’t move, her face stayed turned to the side with her hair covering most of it. She couldn’t look at him, she just couldn’t. It was too hard, too painful. Luke sighed.

“Okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to, but at least listen to me, yeah? I just- I need you to listen, Y/N, please” He pleaded, placing both hands on top of hers “Y/N, I love you”

The knot in his throat became tighter as he noticed how the veins of her neck tensed and she started to grip her hands tighter. But she needed to hear this, and even though it hurt to see her like that, he continued.

“I love you. I love you. I love you” He said, voice breaking at the end, impossible to fight that choking feeling in his throat “I loved you since the moment I saw you. You were all dressed up in Calum‘s clothes and you had a pen in your hair, and I thought you were the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, but you were so nervous about trying to clean the coffee you spilled that you didn’t even notice I fell for you without knowing your name” He let out a tearful chuckle “I started to fall that day and I haven’t stopped, not even for a second. Y/N you are- You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I was an idiot for not seeing that. I don’t know what I have to do for you to forgive me, but I’ll do anything, my love. Anything to make it better. Cause I followed you blindly from the start, and I’m so sorry I let you down. I’m so, so fucking sorry that I let my insecurities come in our way. I love you, even then I never stopped loving you”

He could see how her chin started to tremble, she was trying to hold off the tears as much as him “I - I wish I could go back in time. I would’ve never said the things I said, I would’ve never doubted you or left without listening to what you had to say. I should’ve fought harder for you, but I was a coward. I still am, if I’m being honest, but I will not run away, Y/N. Not anymore. I know I will never deserve you, but I’ll do my best and try. Because you, my love, are the love of my life, the greatest love I have and - and I can’t -“

It became too much for him. He couldn’t say anything else without breaking down. But he wanted her to know how much she meant for him, how much he is willing to fight for her if she lets him. She needed to know how sorry he was and how much he still loves her. But the words got stuck in his throat. The poet was left speechless.

“Y/N you are so strong,” He finally said “So strong, my love. And I’m so fucking proud of everything you do, I always have and always will be” He brought her hands to his lips and started pressing kisses all over it while wetting them with his tears “I wish I could take back everything I said. All those words were said out of anger and jealousy, that is not how I see you at all. You are so beautiful, Y/N, inside and out. So kind, so smart, so giving… You are perfect. And I love you, I love you, I love yo-”

Suddenly his words were interrupted by her lips as she started kissing him. Y/N didn’t want to keep listening anymore so she did the only thing he could, the thing she wanted to do the most since she saw him come out of the bathroom.

Their hands flew to cup each other’s cheeks, keeping their faces as close as they could, feeling how their tears became one as they started to deepen the kiss. They rocked back and forward with the intensity of their energies colliding once again, it was everything they needed and more. Suddenly, Luke got up from the floor and brought Y/N along with her, pressing her against the wall as their lips never left each other.

“I love you” He breathed into her lips before kissing her again and again and again, already getting lost in the feeling of euphoria she brought to him “I love you”

She kept crying as their lips met, savoring every word, every praise that came from his mouth, trying hard to hold on to them as she felt her breath become short “I missed you” She cried into the kiss, pulling away to see his face.

Luke’s eyes were blown wide as he stared at her, their lips were pink as they tried to catch their breaths. He knocked his forehead against hers before kissing it lightly “Please, forgive me” He begged, holding her tight against his chest.

“Luke,” She whispered as she tugged on his shirt, making him look back at her “Kiss me”

He looked at her softly, his baby blue eyes saying more than he ever could as he caressed her cheek one more time before leaning down and trapping her lips with his. He had no rush because there was no other place he’d rather be, no other person he’d rather spend time with. Only her. Only his Y/N.

Her hands traveled tentatively under his shirt, softly caressing the skin of his back and his stomach as she parted her lips to grant him more access and control. Luke’s hand that was not cupping her cheek rounded around her waist, bringing her body closer to him with the need of feeling her, all of her.

“Y/N…” He groaned, tilting his head back when he felt her kiss along his jaw and neck.

“Please…” She murmured against his skin, sucking and kissing on the spot that she knew would make him shiver.

Luke pressed her against the wall with his body completely covering hers. He grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her feet from the ground as she locked her legs around his waist. “Please,” She begged again, closing her lips around the shell of his ear and slightly biting into it. She could feel him getting hard as her hips moved forward, her core pressing against his hardening cock. She moaned softly into his ear “Please, Luke. Please”

The movement of her hips was all Luke needed to lose himself to her, thrusting right back at her and moaning at the friction of her soaked panties against his clothed erection. Her sound became more breathy and he knew she was getting close just by the friction alone, having spent too much time without this feeling.

“Y/N…” Luke groaned into her after a particularly hard trust “I-”

“I know” She breathed “I need it too,”

Without a second thought, Luke turned both of them around, still holding Y/N by the back of her thighs as he placed them back into the bed. Now it was his turn to kiss along her face, her lips, her neck… everywhere she would give him access to and would leave her breathing his name. His hands fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, taking it off completely in one swift move and occupying his hands by touching her breasts, massaging them softly as his lips closed against one of her nipples, tongue circling around the hard pebble until they were nice, erect and wet from his kiss only to do it again with the other one.

Y/N was a whimpering mess under him, her fingers tangling in his hair as he sucked on her sweet spot, kissing down her body until his lips found her wet panties. He kissed over her clothes bundle of nerves, making her moan and begged for more as he swiftly hooked his long fingers at either side of her hips and pulled them down, kissing along her thighs up and down and up again only to finish tongue deep into her hole, lapping at her arousal and moaning against her at the taste of her. He always found her exquisite.

Stars were playing behind her eyelids as she felt one finger inside her while Luke’s lips closed against her clit, sucking it lightly as he inserted another finger per her request, thrusting then inside and out as she chanted his name like a prayer when her walls clenched against them.

Luke licked her clean as her fingers played with his hair, relishing this intimate moment as a precious memory for the future. When he pushed himself up he noticed that there were a new set of tears rolling down her cheeks “Are you okay, love?” He asked, “Did I hurt you?”

She shook his head, looking up at him with teary eyes “I love you”

His eyes soften at her words, hands caressing the side of her face as he leaned in without thinking, kissing her tears away with such care, never wanting to see them again.

“Luke…” She whispered, kissing his chin “Luke, make love to me”

Blue eyes met Y/E/C, sharing all the love he had in them before leaning down again to trap her lips with his; tongues dancing together like it was the first time all over again where no other words were needed.

Y/N helped him out of his shirt and shorts, pumping his cock in her hands as he moaned in her ear how good it felt before lining it up with her entrance, quiet gasps leaving each other’s mouths as they felt the familiar stretch when he bottomed out.

Soft words and kisses were shared as Luke’s thrusts were slow and steady. It was silent, needy, passionate; it was everything they needed and more. Their hands explored the familiarity of their bodies, leaving faint marks as they enjoyed their shared pleasure.

“Please,” She begged against his lips, moaning as Luke started hitting her spot “Please, please, please, plea-”

Her orgasm came over her like a wave and Luke was entranced with her face as it contorted in extasis, helping him reach his climax as he cum inside her, painting her walls as his thrusts became sloppy.

They stayed like that for a while, kissing on top of each other as their bodies stayed connected in the most intimate way. But soon Luke had to get up, getting a wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaning her up, whispering sweet nothings to her as he did so.

He climbed into the bed next to her, pulling her closer against his chest as his back rested against the headboard, drawing circles in the soft spot of her back and resting his chin on the top of her head.

They must’ve fallen asleep after a while because when he opened his eyes again he felt Y/N crying into his chest.

“My love?” He asked, worry lacing his voice as he accommodated himself better so he could see her face. Y/N eyes were puffy and filled with tears as she struggled to contain a sob “What’s wrong?”

Y/N sniffed, voice breaking as she asked “You love me?”

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion “What a stupid question,” He said as he started playing with your hair “Of course I love you”

“But what else?”

Her question confused him, even more, when he saw pure heartbreak spread along her face.

“What else what?”

“You love me and what else?” She repeated her question.

“What else is there?”

Luke’s answer made her lips tremble as a new set of tears filled her eyes. His heart fell to his stomach with her reaction, not knowing what he did to make her this upset “Baby, what’s wrong? Is love not enough?”

Y/N shook her head as she took a deep breath, trying to find enough voice and courage to say what she needed.

“I’m not perfect, Luke”

“I know,” He said, bringing his fingers to caress your cheek but you shook your head.

“No, you don’t know” She stated, tears rolling down her cheek “You still see me as something out of your reach, as something you don’t deserve because you hold me to such standards that is impossible for me to live up to your expectations. I will let you down, even without wanting to, I will. And- a-and I don’t think I’ll be able to stand that look in your eyes once I do. I can’t go through that again”

She cried softly for a while, trying to find the right words to say.

“Luke, I need you to listen to me very carefully and really think about what I’m asking for here, okay, love?” She said after collecting herself just enough. He nodded as he gave her his undivided attention “Luke, I love you. More than anyone in the world, I love you. I thought I would never say those words again but I can’t deny my feelings for you nor do I want to. I love you. But I also love my life”

Luke’s eyes were fixed on her as she spoke, nodding along to what she was saying. She took another deep breath before continuing.

“A life that is filled with concerts, traveling and recordings and parties and interviews… A life that I chose to follow my dreams and make them come true. A life I am not going to give up because it’s mine and I truly love it. But in this life, there are some bumps in the road. There will always be people trying to bring me down, sending hate to me and the ones I love, spreading rumors all around where sometimes you won’t be able to distinguish fiction from reality. With people trying to get to me, by flirting or abusing their power with threats. But I keep going, I deal with all of that because that’s just the way it is. I will go to an interview that might get twisted, I might go and get flirted on by a random stranger that works for publicity. I might have rumors of me dating people I haven’t even met! All of that without my consent or knowledge. But I agreed to this when I agreed to follow my dreams and I can’t help it when it happens and most of the time I can’t say anything about it even if it hurts.

And when that happens I need to know that you will trust me. Because I cannot possibly ask you to leave your dreams to follow mine, meaning that we won’t be together all the time like we’re used to. And I need to know that you will trust me when I’m away from you”

Luke stayed quiet, his mind running a thousand miles per hour at her words. Could he trust her? When they were together on tour, and even at home in L.A, the rumors about Y/N were strong, so much so that he didn’t know if they were true or not. And even though he knew her, he still wasn’t sure. He doubted her, more times than not he did which ended up in him losing her until last night. He trusted her now, but…

“I don’t know,” He answered honestly, feeling like the weight of his shoulders was being lifted as he spoke “I don’t trust my mind, not when it’s about you. Not really. I trust you here, right now but I can’t promise that my insecurities won’t get in the way, changing that for the future. But I can try, I’ll do my best-”

“What if your best is not enough, Luke?” She asked, sucking the air out of both of them.

“What?” He asked in return, voice small and soft.

She sighed, blinking through the tears “What if- What if it’s not enough? You love me, but you don’t trust me. I love you, but I’m scared you’re going to run away every time you hear something about me that could tint the image of me you have in your mind. I’m scared of that Y/N because I’m not her and I might never be able to compete with her. I wish I could tell you that everything will change for the better, that love will be enough. But if we can’t see a future now…”

“There might not be a future at all” Luke finished for her.

The truth hurt more than they could ever have imagined, but it was still the truth. Without trust, there is no love that could endure the passings of times, but they could try, couldn’t they?

“What now?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“Hold me?”

Luke opened his arms and Y/N nested into them, setting her head upon his chest and letting his heartbeat be the melody of her heartbreak. “I love you” She whispered into his skin.

“I love you, too”

“I might never stop loving you”

“You don’t have to”

She sighed “I know, that’s what scares me”

Luke nodded, even though she couldn't see him. He let his fingertips trace up and down her arms and back, serving as the only comfort he could give right now.

“Stay with me tonight?” She asked, tilting her head so she could look him in the eyes “Just one night the two of us where we can leave the world behind. Just us and for tonight that’s enough”

He smiled sadly “Morning will come eventually”

“And what will happen to us in the morning?”

Luke let out a sad sigh “I don’t know”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimesos @kingxnichole @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hufflehemm @wildflower98 @girl-toxxic

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unrestedjade · 4 years ago

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Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

#ds9 #star trek #meta #ferengi #i love them Too Much help #reliving my brief libertarian phase from high school from the opposite direction #my heart wants to make them simultaneously as queer and as repressed as possible #i didn't even make it to the goddamned blessed exchequer my head is too full #i will find beauty in this vulgarity if it kills me #this is too long #why did i spend my time this way

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 4 years ago

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TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

@ziasaph

Prompt: When Roman and Y/N have a little phone teasing, Roman is left with a problem to solve...with his bare hands.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, masturbation(male),cursing,explicit thoughts,smut(implied)

Notes: This is my first time ever trying to “recreate” what would go through a man’s mind while masturbating( I don’t have a wiener, so you know, this might not be 100% accurate) this is written in Roman’s POV only. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Fuck me...” I whispered as I adjusted my bulge for the 4th time. I just finished a phone call with Y/N, and we kinda had a little phone teasing so now,here I am making my way to my locker room with a very painful hard on that I couldn’t wait to take care of.

As soon as my eyes met the locker room door I sighed in relief, until I heard

“Yo Uce,hold up!”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I barked under my breath

“What up Uce?” My cousin Jimmy happily smiled at me

“Good,good...” I dumbly replied

“You ok there?”

“No I’m not ok Jimmy,what to you want?”

“Is this because you lost your match? Uce, you gotta learn how to lose man”

“This is not because of my match ok? It’s another thing that’s bothering me”

“Oh...Is it because Y/N hasn’t come back yet? I know you love her and all, but ever since she left, you got all blue and shit... I’m aware of your obsession towards her,but she has her own life problems to deal with you know? You can’t get all bitchy every time she needs to leave man...” he vaguely said

Y/N took a one month license so she could solve some problems regarding her family business, and ever since she left my mood has gotten worst and worst, and I still got 8 more fucking days ahead of me before she comes back! The racional part of my brain understands and agrees with what my cousin’s saying, but the other primal part of me just wants to punch his face and tell him to shut the fuck up.

He doesn’t understand the connection that Y/N and I have, she is my other half as cheesy as that sounds. I’ve never had believed that sort of stuff UNTIL the day I met her. From that day on I knew I had found my one and only. So you can’t really blame me for being in such a shitty mood, I was left without my sunlight for a whole fucking month, so yeah, I was gonna whine about it.

“Are you done,mom?” I said with an annoyed tone

“I’m just trying to help Uce”

“Yeah I know man” I sighed “I’m sorry is just that I gotta take care of something..” I vaguely said

“Ok, I’m not gonna keep you long, I was just gonna ask you if you would like to go out to th-“

“No,thanks. I have other plans” I quickly said before he could finish

“Really? And what possibly great plan is that,that you gonna miss a night out with your favorite cousin?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah! And it’s better be a good plan for you to dismiss me like that”

“I’m gonna take a shower, take care of a very painful boner, jack off while I think about my girlfriend, then I’m gonna head back to my hotel room where a nice,big and comfortable bed waits for me...and maybe jack off again looking at some pictures of Y/N. Happy now?”

He looked at me in disbelief

“So you’re dismissing my invitation for a night out so you can jack off? How old are you? 14?” He started laughing

“Is that all Jimmy?” I made sure my voice demonstrated how annoyed I was.

“Yeah, yeah..go ahead Mr. Puberty go do your business...even tho you won’t need to take care of it yourself..” he barely whispered

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing...here I’ll even open the door for you..just so your hands don’t get too tired!” He said mocking me “Milady, please” He bowed down and was now 100% laughing at me

“Fuck you Jimmy” I muttered under my breath closing and locking my locker room door.

I got out of my ring attire faster than a demon from church and made my way to the shower, while I waited for the water to heat up, I begin to stroke myself lazily while I thought about Y/N and the last time we were together. I got under the shower and remembered her body, the way it felt against mine, her breasts and how they are a perfect handful size, how soft her skin is (specially her boobs), how delicate her nipples feel against my lips.

Her sexy love handles,fuck I love those, which is why I don’t really get it why she hates it so much and wants to get rid of them so bad? I love how they feel when I tightly grip them on my hands whenever I’m holding her hips in place while fucking her from behind. My dick got harder just to think about it..Fuck I wish she was here!

I love her ass, I was always a tits lover until I saw that ass! Then I was officially converted into an ass lover. I just love to touch it, grip it, bite it, I love to watch it bounce when she rides me, I love to kiss it, spank it, rub my bulge against it..

*I begin to stroke my cock harder*

And fuck it..I love to fuck her ass.

But not as much as I love to fuck her pussy, nothing compares to the feeling of my cock buried deep inside of her tight pussy, I could cum just by remembering the vision of my dick sliding in and out of that sweet pussy..MY pussy, that belongs to ME! Fuck I just wish she was here, I would eat her out like a mad man.

I love to go down on her, seeing her eyes roll to the back of her head as I hungrily devour her..seeing how she squirms underneath me, moaning..begging for me to fuck her, how incredible she tastes...

But I also love when she sucks my dick.

The sight of her, on her knees, with a mouthful of cock while she looks up to meet my gaze.. FUCK ME isn’t that a beautiful sight?! Her lips all swollen and red from sucking me, her hands stroking my cock while she looks up and give me one of her satisfied smiles..so fucking gorgeous. Even more gorgeous when she chokes on my dick, making me slide all the way down until I hit the back of her throat just so she can pull back, gasping for air, while she giggles amused about how far she had taken.

With all of those sweet memories I came on my hand, giving me some sort of relief (at least for now). But it wasn’t the same thing tho, it wasn’t her and I NEEDED her!

God I love that woman, and I just fucking miss her, I just wish that she was here..

I made my car ride back to the hotel thinking about everything that I missed about her. I missed her scent, her voice, her smile, her hugs, her kisses, the way she likes to stroke my hair to help her sleep, her stealing all of my gray sweatpants just so I couldn’t “advertise” my package to other women, our late night conversations that were sometimes meaningful others meaningless, our make out sessions, lazy morning sex, horror movies marathon, the way she argued with one of the characters and told them they were “so dumb” and she “wished they would just get killed already”, the way she comforted me, the way I comforted her...

I opened the door to my hotel room, dragged myself to the sofa and was so deep in thoughts that I didn’t even noticed that the lights were on.

“Should I come back later?” The voice said in quite an amused tone.

*Wait..I know that voice!*

I turned my head to my left side so I could meet the owner of that voice, the one I had waited 3 long weeks to have by my side again

“Y/N” I couldn’t help but ran towards her, grab her tightly in my arms and kiss her so intensely that she almost couldn’t breath.

“Ro” she giggled “Baby, as much as I love this affectionate side of yours, you’re kinda making it difficult for me to breath” She chuckled

“Sorry, it’s just that I missed you so fucking much! You have no idea what hell I’ve been through those 3 weeks without you” I said as I gave her light pecks all over her lips,neck and face.

“Aww Rome.. I missed you too love! That’s why I decided to make you a surprise come back, everything solved before expected so I didn’t need to be there anymore so I decided to come back to my home,you!” She smiled

“I am your home,just like you’re mine! Those 3 weeks without you were a nightmare!”

“Oh I know! Jimmy told me you were being a little bitch and if I didn’t came back soon he would whoop your ass!” She was laughing uncontrollably

“That fucker...he knew you were coming back today didn’t he?” I asked remembering his little comment about me not needing to jack off at the hotel.

“Yep! He helped me with everything. Why?”

“Oh nothing, it’s just that he asked if I wanted to go out with him somewhere after the show and I declined saying I had other stuff to do”

“Like what?” She asked slightly confused

“Oh you know, like jack off in the shower thinking about you..”

“Did you?” She looked at me with that vixen look on her face

“What do you think baby girl? After our little teasing on the phone, you got me all worked up so I had to think about you while I took care of business with my own hands” Which where now roaming down to grab her ass.

“That sounds fun..why don’t you tell me everything you thought about huh?” She deviously smirked at me

“Oh baby, I might as well just show it to you” With that I picked her up in my arms and made my way towards the bed. I was going to show her everything that went through my mind those 3 weeks.

And fuck,she better be ready, ‘cuz I got all night long..

#roman reigns imagine #roman reigns smut #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns #wwe imagine #wwe fanfiction #wwe one shot #masochist writes

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kominum · 4 years ago

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rewatching old sailor moon and thought of like... disgruntled tuxedo mask!corpse but with unrequited love because i’m a glutton for angst

wc: ~2.2k

warnings: death of a minor character, implicit knowledge of sailor moon lore, modern twist, unedited

please send in ideas you might have that i could write short blurbs for! this was honestly fun to write.

It’s a scratch he can’t itch. It’s what has him waking up in cold sweats, confused and moderately annoyed that his hard-earned sleep has been so rudely interrupted. He hates the cape, he hates the itchy suit, he abhors the top hat – and the only things he doesn’t really hate are his baton and endless supply of darkened roses.

The first time he transformed, he was half-asleep and struggling to understand why he was speeding down the highway and parking two blocks away from some random back alley. His pain was relatively dulled, which was surprising, and his body suddenly possessed a world of fighting skills that felt foreign yet familiar. All he could recognize was a slightly disheveled woman cursing and just trying her best against some odd form of demon spawn, and before he knew it, he’d thrown down a dark purple rose and engaged in combat. Once said woman found an opening, she took off her headband/tiara, performed a throw that would put professional frisbee players to shame, and the monster disintegrated into dust.

“Jesus Christ,” he panted, body hunched over and hands on his knees. “What the fuck was that?”

“More like who the fuck are you?”

“Fuck if I know,” he muttered and dusted himself off.

“What’s with your get-up anyways?” She failed to hide her snickering. “You’re 3 decades behind.”

“Do I look like I want to fight in a suit? Plus, you’re fighting in some rendition of a schoolgirl uniform.” Her black thigh-high boots were killer, but he wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction.

“You should’ve seen what it was before, but I was able to make some changes. Good heads-up for you and—”

“Sailor Moon, are you okay?!”

Oh. So she’s got a talking cat, too. What in fresh hell was going on? Did he take something? But also—“Your name is Sailor Moon?”

“We’re working on the name change,” she grumbled, bending down to let said feline jump up her arm and settle on her shoulder. “Anyways, uh…thanks. I was kind of in a bind, but I’m usually not I swear. Good timing, I guess?”

“If that’s what you wanna call it.” But she was already in the wind, hopping from roof to roof with no inhibitions, and left him completely dumbfounded.

His silly attire dissolved back into his previous clothing as he ambled back towards his car, thought not exactly at his own will. But he shrugged, slid into the car seat, and dialed the only person he could think of who would readily pick up at this ungodly hour of…2:37AM. That was just the start, and he can’t tell if things went downhill from there.

He should backtrack.

He met you almost two years ago at a hospital.

You had been waiting anxiously for your boyfriend to come out of surgery after being in a bad car accident, biting your nails, occasionally pacing back and forth, smoothing your hands worriedly against your jeans, and gnawing your bottom lip to death. It was midday, sometime after lunch, and he’d come in for some routine checkup he can’t remember what for now, and sat a few seats away from you in the tiny hospital coffee shop. He’s no therapist or expert, but he highly doubted that any caffeine would alleviate your anxiety. Yet you sat there with two to-go cups and a granola bar wrapper, and something told him to stick around for now.

He’s never been one for a lot of small talk, but you looked to be about his age and no one else was with you. Tragedy tasted most bitter when alone, and some force of the universe told him to at least say something, anything. So he stuffed his hands into his hoodie and shuffled awkwardly to your table, tentatively asking a, “Hey, uh…is everything okay?”

You’d looked up at him with wild eyes on the verge of tears, heart battering against your chest, and the only intelligible thing that left your mouth was a “Huh?”

And he’d casted a gentle grin, eyes laced with a mixture of pity and concern, and asked again his first question. “My boyfriend’s in surgery. He got in a bad accident. There’s um…roughly two hours left, I think.”

“And you thought coffee would make it better?” He jutted his chin towards your large cups.

“Hot chocolate,” you chuckled. “I’m not keen on torturing myself like that, not now at least.”

“Well, I’ve got an appointment soon but I should be done before his surgery’s over…want me to come check up on you?”

Dumbfounded was the best way to describe your expression, and he was so close to retracting his offer before you gave him one of the most thankful smiles he’d seen in many years. “I’d really appreciate that.”

He nodded. “Sounds good then. Give me a sec.”

At the counter, he paid for another cup of hot chocolate and added in a chocolate chip cookie for good measure before bringing it back to you. “I hear chocolate helps.”

“Thank you, again. Go, don’t want to make you late.”

But an hour and a half later in the waiting area outside surgery, the doctor came out with a solemn expression, and you all but collapsed into the plastic chairs, tears leaking like waterfalls from your eyes. Part of him wanted to bail and go because there wasn’t much he could do, but it wouldn’t be right to leave you to drive home now. He wanted to make sure that you were calmed down, all cried out, and breathing properly so you could at least operate a vehicle safely.

The same unknown force had him offering you his number in case you needed anyone to talk to, yet the conversation sat empty for weeks until curiosity and guilt ate at him. He tapped out a message, deleting it, then another one, more deleting, before he settled on a plain, “It’s the guy from the hospital. I know it’s been a while but…how are you?”

Your reply was almost instantaneous, to which he worried if he’d accidentally woken you up at 4:13AM. First, it’s a casual, “hey, thanks for checking up on me! I’m doing okay,” but he knew better. And the other shoe dropped in the form of a simple, “I miss him.”

It’s a quiet, heartwarming friendship. You know nothing specific about him – he’s incredibly vague on any identifying information. Hell, you’d be willing to bet that the name at the hospital was a fake one. Nevertheless, he’s one of your closest friends. You know he mainly works online, has a lot of trouble sleeping, is chronically ill and has a number of medical conditions, his general disposition and feelings on things, but overall, just wonderfully easy to talk to.

Yet something just feels wrong about falling in love with him. It’s a horrid combination of guilt and disbelief. Are you rebounding? Are you subconsciously searching for your dead ex-boyfriend? Are you so desperate for romantic connections that you’ve twisted yourself into believing you love a man that you’ve seen fewer times than the number of fingers you have?

You come to peace with it when his custom ringtone chimes softly on your nightstand in the middle of the night. Rain or shine, stars or none, there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him. Nothing has ever woken you up so quickly, not even alarms on interview days. “Hello?”

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Kind of, but it’s fine. What’s up? Wait,” you interrupt yourself and listen carefully to your speaker. “Are you…driving?”

“…yeah.”

“Should I ask from or to where?”

“I…honestly don’t know. Something felt off, felt like I had to get out of my place and just fucking do something. So uh, I drove somewhere and just started driving back home.”

You curl up under your sheets on your side and plug your earbuds into the phone. “Well, did it get rid of whatever you were feeling?”

“I think so? Honestly couldn’t fucking tell you. Still really bizarre to me.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” you murmur. “Well, feel free to call me whenever you feel like that again.”

“I don’t wanna fuck up your sleep schedule though. Feel like it’ll happen more often than I’d like.”

“How about this – if I don’t pick up, it’ll just be my nice way of saying ‘fuck off, too busy sleeping right now’?”

A soft, deep chuckle warms your chest and cheeks. “Sounds good. So how’ve you been?”

“Well, you know…”

It’s the same night that you think you might have a chance at love again. You fall asleep with his voice weaving stories and tales in your ears and wake up to a message that says, “Wow, didn’t know I was so fucking boring that it made you snore so loud.” The hope that creeps through your veins is dangerous and thrums urgently whenever you get a call or message from him.

And as bright as a star, it all comes crashing down in a firey blaze.

You crash into a girl as mysterious and serenely beautiful as the moon with a talking black cat one afternoon. She exudes a gorgeous amount of confidence in her stance as she protects you from a creature that looks like it’s out of a horror video game, and you can only stare in awe. The cat from before yells instructions at you, throwing what looks like a pen with a red cap on it and you blindly follow them. Your subsequent red heels feel incredibly comfortable and you can’t remember the last time you wore a skirt – but there’s no time to ponder as you push the girl you were admiring out of harm’s way and somehow manage to direct fire at them from your fingertips.

The monster burns and screams in agony before getting hit with what looks like a glowing frisbee. Your savior wipes the dust off her outfit before extending a hand out to you, “Welcome to the club, Sailor Mars.”

Say what now?

“There’s gotta be a better name than that,” is the first thing you say as you get pulled up. She throws her head back and lets out a charmingly obnoxious laugh. “We’ll work on changing it. I can tell we’re gonna be good friends.”

“Her name ended up being a rip-off of my name,” the cat quips and receives a scowl from the supposed plagiarizer. “I’m Luna, and this is Sailor Moon, or Lunaria she says.”

“You gotta admit, that’s cutting it a little close,” you agree and Lunaria flips the bird. “How the fuck am I going to change Sailor Mars? Also, can I do anything about this outfit?”

“We can go shopping tomorrow for sure. Luna and I can fill you on everything and – oh, before I forget, there’s a guy—”

“So it looks like you don’t need my help?”

You freeze in your steps, startled by the familiar baritone approaching you two. He was involved in all this?

“I told you, I don’t need your help—”

“Is she new?”

“Yeah, which means, we really don’t need your help. She’s got actual fire power. Literal fire.”

“That’s pretty fucking cool,” he accepts. “Good to meet you.”

You spot a set of veiny fingers that appears in your peripheral and you tentatively turn in his direction, hoping that your hair will obstruct your face as much as possible. “Same,” your throat manages to squeak out as his warm hand engulfs yours in a firm handshake.

“Get out of here, Corpse,” Lunaria chides and lets go of you to push a finger to his chest.

“I’m only here because you fucking needed saving. Now you’ve got another person dragged in.”

“I told you, I’m not some fucking damsel in distress,” she hisses. The mirth in his visible eye only causes the infuriation to grow and swirl more vigorously in her gut.

You watch the exchange from the sidelines as Corpse’s teasing only increases and provokes Lunaria further, disheartened that you’ve never heard him laugh so much in one exchange before. Dread from deep within your veins begins to freeze around your heart, something so set and undeniable that causes your brain to realize that falling in love with him was a mistake. It was the kind of mistake that would strike you with pain for years and the intense foreshadowing has you spinning on your heel and bounding through an alleyway. Your outfit shifts back to what you’d been wearing before, the characteristic weight of your phone in your back pocket seeming heavier than ever.

You call him that night, holding in a deep breath when the dial tone breaks midway. A rustle, a breath, and then, “Hey what’s up?”

Oh god, you scream to yourself as your heart shatters at the bottom of your chest. His voice, again, cannot be misconstrued as anyone else’s – the inflection, the tone, the volume, everything belonged to him.

And the universe told you then and there that he, undoubtedly, belonged to her.

#corpse x reader #corpse x y/n #sailor moon!au #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband angst #corpse angst

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bard-llama · 3 years ago

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WiP Wednesday: Upcoming Thronebreaker Fics + Gascon Backstory

Okay, for today’s WiP Wednesday, I wanna share a few fics I have planned for Thronebreaker! Don’t worry, I will definitely continue writing Iorveth/Roche (and also Isengrim/Eldain, though most of those haven’t been published yet. But I have a doc with 8 WiPs for them).

But now that I’ve properly met the Thronebreaker OT3, I am suuuuuuper here for them. I’m still kind of figuring out their dynamic, but to be honest, 90% of my fics will probably take place in the months they travel from Lyria’s capital to Aedirn, ‘cause that journey would take a long time! Even just to the border would be a long walk (and armies move SLOW), but then Vengerberg is fairly central and I assume Black Rayla comes in somewhere near the Moulderwoods, since that’s Eldain’s territory. So like... it would take MONTHS of slowly traveling down the road - and also probably avoiding patrols and maybe even towns, because they’re outlaws now. And considering most towns are BUILT on major roads...

Point is, there’s plenty of time for them to get to know each other while traveling to Aedirn. And I hear that Thronebreaker gets pretty sad and depressing (I don’t know the details, but I also don’t mind spoilers. I know some big ones already, but I’m sure there’s more) so tbh, not sure if I’ll ever finish the game. Which makes the period of Meve, Reynard, and their handful of deserters traveling with Gascon and his Strays of Spalla perfect for fic settings lol.

So far, I have 3 specific fics planned and a few other ideas percolating. The first one is the Taint of the Common Man, which I went into pretty in detail here, so I won’t repeat that (but be warned, link goes to very noncon/dubcon set up stuff).

The second fic is Gascon-focused angst! Well, really ot3 angst, but I’ve only written Gascon’s POV so far, though next is Reynard’s POV and then Meve’s. The premise is that they’re on the road to Aedirn and they’ve been sleeping together the three of them for several months - but Gascon gets a reminder of exactly what he is to them when they mention their 10th anniversary. And he tries to act normal and cheerful and brash, but his heart is breaking because he stupidly fell in love with a queen and her top general and what is he? Nothing.

So he starts to subtly pull away from them, trying to protect his heart. But Reynard notices and worries over it and brings it up with Meve - who is all “nah, he’s fine”, and then watches Gascon and has to rescind her words, because he is absolutely not fine. And Gascon is spending more and more time with his strays (and his right hand gal in particular, which they’re totally not jealous over or anything), so it has to be them that are the problem. Which means they have to talk.

I’m still thinking about non-sexual ways Meve and Reynard can show Gascon that he’s loved, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to throw them my way! But it’s definitely gonna have a happy ending with them working to show Gascon that he does belong with them.

The third fic is actually about Gascon becoming the Duke of Dogs XD If there’s a canon explanation, then too bad, because I like mine lol. Anyway, remember that right hand gal I mentioned? Well, her name is Medusa and she has purple hair that she braids and styles meticulously to look like snakes around her head. She also happens to be the best cat burglar in Aedirn - but she wasn’t always. So this fic is set way in the past, to when they first meet, because she’s the one that introduces him to the Strays of Spalla and vouches for him at first. Obviously later they both rise through the ranks and once Gascon takes over leadership, he works to make them more of a family (a family of crime lol).

Anyway, before any of that, we have Gascon as an 8yo who just saw his entire family murdered by the king’s guards for the crime of speaking out against the way nobles treat their people and their land. (idk if a reason is given in canon, but that’s my reason because it connects to some of the changes Gascon makes to the Strays. Basically, while they’re still a gang of criminals, I’ve decided to take inspiration from the incredible Black Panthers (who, to be clear, were NOT criminal, but were extensively treated like it by the FBI because they took care of and protected their community (you know, the ones the FBI was actively spying on and introducing highly addictive drugs to). I think I’ve lost the thread a bit and there are a lot of parentheses, so I’ll just conclude this bit by saying that my version of the Strays of Spalla steal from wealthy merchants and even wealthier nobles and use their ill-gotten gains to help the peasants (esp around Spalla, but across Lyria too). Which matters because I think Reynard semi understands that poor people are people (he talks to Meve about being proud to fight alongside the Strays because they’re fighting for freedom and what better cause is there?), but he’s still a nobleman who has spent the majority of his life at the king’s side. And Meve is queen. She has no fucking idea what the actual people of Lyria’s lives are like, because she’s always been concerned with managing her realm - which means managing nobles, who then are responsible for tending to their land aka getting taxes and shit from the peasants. So basically, both of them have a LOT of blindspots about what real actual people’s lives are like in their ‘great realm’. But Gascon? Gascon has lived that life.)

Right, so, the plot. The plot is actually not at all about how Gascon changes the Strays (oops), but about how he first joins them. So, 8yo Gascon. He just saw his family murdered, he was only saved because he was hidden in a closet, stuffing his own fist in his mouth to keep the guards from hearing him cry. But he Knows that they’ll kill him if they find out he survived, so he goes through the house and grabs what he can (what the guards didn’t loot) and tries not to throw up and cry too much. Then he runs.

But lil Gascon Brossard is a nobleman’s son and that’s the only life he’s known until now. And it’s obvious from his fine clothes that he has money - which means he ends up getting beaten and robbed on the streets a lot. Eventually, he learns to not share his name (’cause WOW that’s such a nobleman’s name lmao), but like... he’s 8. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s just trying to survive. (Also, for extra angst, I’m thinking he got his mom’s signet ring from the house before he left, but it got stolen. But when he’s older, he steals it back.)

I’m not sure why he decides to rob the house of a minor noble in the Spalla area, but he does. And he actually plans it pretty carefully - he creates a cigarette bomb for a time-delayed (minor) explosion that busts open the door to the kennel and scares all the dogs, so they go howling and barking and running and create chaos. (A noble’s household would likely have a lot of dogs, most of them working ones.) His plan is to break into the kitchen while everyone is otherwise occupied and steal enough to eat for a good while.

But before he can do this, while he’s hiding in the bushes and waiting for his bomb to go off, someone else finds him. Specifically, Medusa finds him - because she was casing the place to steal stuff (probably jewels. She really likes shiny things). So she pulls a knife on him and demands to know who he is. And idk if the Brossards owned a duchy or if he was just being cheeky, but he’s all, “I’m a duke!”

“Yeah?” Medusa laughs. “Duke of what?”

At that moment, the bomb goes off with a little pop and then utter chaos descends as dogs start howling and baying and barking. And Gascon just grins his gap-toothed grin (he probably lost some teeth getting beaten tbh) and proclaims, “of dogs!”

Then he invites her to come raid the kitchen with him. And she’s not 8yo, but she’s only a few years older and those pastries do smell good. So the steal the whole lot and then Medusa brings him into the Strays and it starts to get a little bit easier for Gascon to survive. Idk how much he hides his name (’cause Gascon is SUCH a nobleman’s name, but also, he later signs orders to his men with all his amazing made up titles and then -G) but he definitely starts going predominantly by “Duke” and “the Duke of Dogs”.

Anyway shit, I gotta go get ready for an event, so - hope you enjoyed hearing about my upcoming Thronebreaker fics!

#meve x reynard x gascon #thronebreaker ot3 #thronebreaker #wip wednesday #fic planning #the witcher

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somestansomewhere · 4 years ago

Text

Frank’s Dementia in 11a

Points to discuss:

Moments where Frank forgot.

Things he might be able to remember.

Other characters finding out.

Aftermath...

So to start of, I made a list of every instance in SEASON ELEVEN A, where Frank’s memory seemed a bit off, I’m not gonna analyze the whole series for this but I’m sure there’s more there. Now:

Moments Where Frank Forgot

11x01

1. Frank’s History of Chicago

While this does appear to imply just the opening monologue, there are actually several moments throughout the episode where Frank is talking about the Gallagher’s running Chicago to Alan. And while this seems like typical “Frank being drunk nonsense”, plus a spectacular opening to the season... I now see it in a different light especially after:

2. Frank’s Memory Elixir

Frank LITERALLY has a line asking for “memory elixir”, meaning booze, which Alan hands him. Ironic since he has ALCOHOLIC DEMENTIA. You can’t tell me that wasn’t intentional!

3. He Forgot Bars Were Closed

Now, I may be reaching here... BUT when Frank enters The Alibi for the first time this season (what a grand enterence btw) he says “I heard somewhere all bars were open again”. V responds by saying something along the lines of “three weeks ago maybe” and that the mayor shut them down again. Frank says “Well who the hell can keep track”. And okay, yeah maybe Frank genuinely didn’t know... but this is the bar he goes to EVERYDAY. Not to mention if they shut down less than THREE WEEKS AGO, Frank should know... idk this one might not count but I added it anyway. Kermit is unaware of bars being open/shut down in 11x03 so moving on:

11x02

4. The Alibi’s Secret Enterence

Okay, again REACHING! However, when Frank entered The Alibi through the Keg Zone door he forgot to use the “secret knock” and Kev had to remind him about it. Now in 11x01 he used the front door (and I’m not sure he knew to use the other door in that ep) but still at least he remembered to use the correct door in 11x02.

11x03

This is where it got noticeable.. strap in, here we go:

5. Taking Franny to School

He took her to the wrong school. This is the same person that knows the Southside perhaps better than his kids (lol), like the back of his hand! He not only took her to the wrong school but a middle/grade school. Franny is in elementary/preschool school. You can see in WHM’s face here that Frank was confused...

6. Uncle V and Aunt Kev

Maybe just a comedic slip up, but Frank calls Kev and V “Uncle V and Aunt Kev” as opposed to what they really are. Maybe he forgot? I’m reaching LOL.

7. Debbie Is Not Fiona

Frank talks about one of his favorite MEMORIES with Franny’s mom: Debbie, but “oh no, maybe that was Fiona”. Small moment, typical Frank but... nonetheless, poor memory. The writers are smart by mentioning Fiona in this scene... it’s “a Fiona mention”, we’re going to remember this, and that’s probably why they did it.

8. The Paper Store

Yeah, this was the first red flag for me and if I can recall, the moment EVERYONE knew something seemed off. Frank, walks out of the paper store with Franny and cannot remember where he is, or where they are headed. Once he is reminded of their “goals” for the day (by Franny, a five year old) he proceeds to head to the paper store... Franny once again let’s him know that they already went there and Frank notices the paper already in his (Franny’s) backpack. Ouch.

11x04

9. The Nation of Islam

Ooo this one hurt! After Frank suggests to visit The Nation of Islam in an attempt to get their help to get rid of the Milkoviches, him, Kev, and Liam do. We SEE them go there. It’s a whole scene, so later in the episode when Frank suggests to go ask them for help AGAIN as if it were a completely new idea, we as an audience know they already did that. As Kevin says they “JUST did that”. Frank forgot. Shit.

11x05

10. Mrs.McCurdy

Frank discusses with Kev about murdering Mrs.McCurdy, later he tries to murder her. We see it, we remember it becaue she grabbed Frank’s dick. It was funny, the scene evoked laughter, it forces the audience to remember it. Frank mindlessly walks into The Alibi and Kev asks Frank if he “did the thing”. Now at first Frank is confused. They were using “quotation talk” earlier so yeah I get it, but then when Kevin is more direct with Frank, Frank thinks Kev is implying that he had sex with Mrs.McCurdy... Frank is clearly confused. Only then does Kev point out that he meant MURDER. Frank takes a second, again if you watch he does not know what Kev is talking about, but then it hits him, and he remembers. Thus continuing the convo like nothing.

11x06

11. Monica

Now this one REALLY hurt. Frank’s first scene of the episode is a sex scene between him and Letty. She’s blonde, and Frank calls her Monica. He truly believes he is sleeping with Monica, only Monica is dead, she been since season seven. When Letty mentions that she isn’t Monica (thinking Frank calling her that was only a sex thing), we see WHM’s brilliant preformence once again. Frank doesn’t know what Letty means, he thinks she’s Monica. Then when he realizes she isn’t, he gets this lost dejected look on his face. He’s confused and knows that he keeps getting confused.

Frank says “I gotta get to work”. Letty asks him where he works and Frank is left bewildered.

12. Seven

Okay so remember Frank and Franny’s adventure in 11x03? Frank visits a dry cleaners to get some weed. They make a point of Franny saying that Frank will pay SEVEN for the weed. No offer is made and Frank must get it somewhere else. Throughout the episode Frank refterences SEVEN to Kev & V as the asking price to sell. We as an audience are forced to remember SEVEN. Also in 11x03, as Debbie frantically looks for Frank/Franny, she visits the dry cleaners where they were (retracing their steps). We as an audience have been there twice.

Now, in 11x06 Frank goes to pick up an order but like, we already saw him go there episodes ago. When the woman behind the counter literally tells him she has nothing for him and he argues with her, WE KNOW she is right. Once again, Frank forgot. I’m so sad. Not only that but Kev and V don’t have Frank going on runs anymore. Ian & Mickey are doing it... Frank is legit lost and forgot that he’s not doing that anymore, Kev tells him he’s not in 11x04.

Ms.G even says to Frank that she doesn’t need to write anything down to remember it because the “Mind’s a steel trap”. She doesn’t owe him... she can use her mind to remember where Frank cannot. The irony.

13. Pedestrian, Blue, Handlebar (abc)

a) Frank getting hit in the head results in him having a visit to the hospital where a nurse discovers that Frank has no clue how he got there and more specifically, how he got hit in the first place.

b) The saddest part, when asked his name he remembers FRANK. But has to look down at her sheet to know his last name is GALLAGHER. This is the man who walks around saying “It’s up to Frank Gallagher to save the neighborhood”. He forgot his last name.

c) The scene goes on, the nurse asks him to remember three words: pedestrian, blue, and handlebar. They discuss other things, then she asks him to tell her those words. It’s so abundantly clear that Frank just cannot. He doesn’t remember. He was told like 30sec ago and gets, for the first time ASHAMED. He’s the most shameless person ever (hence the title of the show) but now the tides have turned. He “doesn’t wanna play this game anymore”. Frank can recognize AGAIN that he is confused, only now he is forced to face it. The nurse noticed, she runs some tests and Frank learns that he has early stages of alcoholic dementia. This isn’t his liver, he can’t get a new one, this is his brain.

14. + 15. Letty & Terry

Just two bonuses, Frank wanders aimlessly into the Alibi again (like in 11x05) because it’s routine for him. Letty calls him over. Frank forgot they were supposed to meet there. :(

Frank and Terry on the porch: Maybe it’s just bad writing or they were trying to make a point but like a “Gallagher-Milkovich War” never happened??? We watched the show for 11 seasons... Also are the Milkoviches actually from Poland Frank? I’ll excuse that one cuz Ian mentioned it too, but I thought they wer Ukrainian. These seem like writing mistakes tho so oops.

Things He Might Be Able To Remember

Frank has his and Franny’s name tattooed on his body... he literally forgot his last name at the hospital. And if he forgets a bunch in 11b then that’ll be the payoff for the tattoo... he might not know why the tattoo is there or who the people are listed on his arm, or even what it means exactly, but he will know that Frank loves Franny.

Where he lives. Frank never threw out the paper with his diagnosis. He might remember his home, however the conflict comes in the fact that the Gallaghers might be selling it. He needs to be around people/places that are familiar to him. This could jeopardize his memory.

The Alibi is where Frank seems to just walk to or go to whenever he has no clue where he is or going but it’s subtle. I could see him getting lost and no one knowing where he is and Frank just being at the Alibi beacuse idk muscle memory? He’s on autopilot.

Early stages of ALCOHOLIC Dementia can improve. Like if maybe Frank were to tell someone and if he wasn’t removed from the Gallagher house, and oh I don’t know if Frank STOPPED DRINKING, he could remember. But I don’t think we’re heading in that direction, especially if the house is sold, and let’s face it... it looks that way.

Fiona? Will he forget her... this all feels reminiscent of 4x11.

Other Characters Finding Out

Franny, Kevin, and Liam, are the only people who have REALLY been subject to the possibility of noticing... but think about it. Franny is too young to notice anything, Kevin is not the brightest bulb, he doesn’t seem to realize it either, and Liam was exposed to it once, but at that time he was so scared about the Milkoviches that he didn’t notice it. Maybe if he saw it again, he would. Liam is smart enough.

I wonder if the Gallaghers will just find out the hard way (,like those stills from 11x08 are making me think,) or if anyone will begin to seriously pick up on it. I intially thought they would show Frank forgetting in front of each character until someone was able to notice but scratch that. They seem to be setting Lip up on the “alcoholic path” this season, (and I may go more into depth about that one another time, it’s another big post if I do get into it). But what will the Gallagher’s reactions/feelings be towards Frank’s diagnosis? Mickey and Ian had many Terry/Frank discussions in 11x06 literally setting up for it. It hurt when they all kept dismissing Frank because yup, they don’t know yet. They would have to help him in order to keep his memory maintained, but that’s the thing... Frank’s pride. He might deny their help even if they actually were to give it to him... Either way, I’m “looking forward” to see how this all unravels and how everyone finds out and what their reactions will be, which brings me to my final topic:

Aftermath...

So what happens? Will they sell the house, potentially causing Frank to forget? Will he not know his kids, his history? Will he die? Will Frank finally stop drinking... yeah I doubt that... So what WILL happen? Will the Gallaghers be left to take care of Frank? Will they even do that? Will he remember them?

What if in 1x01 Frank’s narration IS his memory? We see him talking about his kids to someone? It circles back? I don’t know, but either way I expect this whole thing to pull on our heartstrings. When the rest of the regulars find out... it’s gonna get real, and rough.

Interesting stuff coming up in 11b I’m sure. Let’s see how this plays out for our Protagonist and Patriarch: Frank Gallagher.

Omg, if you read through this, you are so cool and I really really appreciate you! Please send me an ask or write a note, I would love to get your take on the matter. 💙

Hope you enjoyed this analysis and I hope it didn’t go on too long.

#frank gallagher #season 11 #shameless season 11 #shameless #gallavich #dementia #my lists

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kindness-bliss · 4 years ago

Text

New Beginnings Ch. 10

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: none

Maya sighed as she sat in the and leaned her head back against the headrest “Why did you lean in to kiss me ?” she finally asked

“I just felt the moment was right, you held my hand on your own and I thought maybe it was a good idea. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, I just did what I felt was right in the moment” he explained “I apologize, I really do. I would never wanna make you feel like it was forced”

“Don’t do it again” she said softly “Now hurry up so you can drive me home and we can both change, you got your outfit ?”

“Yeah, just um a black long sleeve button up and black pants, that okay ?” Marcel asked

“Perfect” she grins as they got out “Also feel free to loosen up tonight, I can handle my drinking”

He raised a brow as he pulled in and followed “Do I need to remind you about what happened in Berlin ?”

Maya widened her eyes as she blushed and shot him a look “You said you’d never bring it up, so don’t start now”

“Sorry but you causing world war 3 at a club at 2 in the morning that led to us running through the back door isn’t exactly a small thing” he laughed as he brought his bag in “I’m not even drunk ! I’m fine, let’s go dance !” he mocked in her voice “and then suddenly a fight about who knows what and bam we’re in a taxi. How you weren’t some kind of fighter in your life still shocks me”

“I felt like it” she shrugged “she insinuated my Cartier bracelets were fake so I let her have it, period. Oh yeah and she hit on you right in front of me, she deserved it”

He laughed, shaking his head “how about none of that tonight ? Just fun, enjoy yourself with your friends and celebrate your cover”

“I invited Fabian” she blurted out, taking out her curling iron to touch up her hair “he said he’s coming, I gave security his name”

Marcel nodded as she took off his t shirt and ironed his shirt “That’s cool, glad he can make it”

“If you two don’t say sorry and make up tonight I swear” she groaned. Yeah they had been friends for a little over half a year but that didn’t mean him and Fabian were back together. Those two were like a married couple and seeing him without Fabian made her sad, he wasn’t the same without him and it killed her inside

“I can’t promise anything but if he’s there obviously he knows I’m going to be as well so who knows” Marcel admitted as he fixed his hair

“Lay off the gel, you look you belong back in Germany in some grade school with this haircut” she laughed fixing her eye shadow “Plus it’s gonna be hot in there”

“Then I’ll take my shirt off,” he smirked. “I think some girls there would really like to see that, don't you think ?”

Maya rolled her eyes, going into her closet and picking out a body con sequin dress, something to make her stand out from the others. She wanted to be absolutely sure she looked better than anyone else there, especially after what Tim had told her. Tim. As if that Dickies wearing, missing tooth asshole knew anything about fashion she shook her head. “No one cares Maya, he doesn’t matter at all” she repeated in her head turning and widening her eyes as she saw Marcel changing

“Wow...wow” she muttered quietly as she hid behind her closet door and peaked, taking a look at his perfectly tan body and abs, watching him check himself out in the mirror while buttoning up his shirt. He had to me the most vain individual she had ever met yet there she was hiding so she could admire him from afar. Her, the actual model, hiding in a damn closet to stare at him of all people. She quickly snapped out of her own thoughts and changed, putting on her heels as she walked out

“Alright all-” Marcel stopped speaking, practically stopping his breathing when he saw her

“Hey” Maya grinned softly as she saw his face

“Maya….I….” he took a moment to think clearly about what he wished to say, not wanting to make himself seem even dumber than he already did

“I-wow” he chuckled out finally as he put his hands in his pockets

“You...you look beautiful, stunning”

“Marcel, you’ve seen me in dresses but thank you” she giggled

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve seen, ever” he said sincerely “you look beautiful every single day but tonight is just wow”

She looked at him, trying her best to keep her look calm and friendly but part of her wanted to jump him right then and there. “Come on, let’s get going it’s late” she grinned as she went back out with him to the car and allowed him to take a picture of them to post ******

“So now explain” Johnny said as he sat with Tim in the living room of his home “why exactly did you um...snap ?”

“I did not snap” Tim responded calmly as he pet their dog Pawdme

“I...words didn’t come out as well as I hoped okay, that’s all”

“Um...you went to college right ? like graduated, correct ?” he asked

Tim nodded as he gave a confused look “uh yeah, I uh have a degree in Journalism, worked at a newspaper company for years. Actually” he chuckled “when we met in evolve I was stil- wait what does this have to do with anything ?”

“So you’re telling me you’re college educated with a degree in JOURNALISM of all things, like as in good with words and writing yet you don't know how to speak to a woman !” Johnny exclaimed “You legit use big ass words and write pages yet when a girl clearly is giving the whole “take me in the back seat of your car now” eyes you insult and demean ?” “Johnny, enough” Candice spoke up “He gets the point, clearly he’s upset and mad”

“Thanks” Tim nodded, “and to answer all your questions, yes, I get it. I acted like a moron and well here I am trying to think of ways to apologize once again and convince her I want her with me”

“Well we can all talk about this tomorrow, we got somewhere to go” Johnny stood up dressed in a button up and black jeans along with Candice in a black dress

“A funeral ?” Tim asked confused as he looked at both of them “sorry for your loss, whomever it may be”

Candice let out a soft sigh as he looked at Johnny and nodded towards Tim with her head “tell him…”

“Okay, first it’s “Johnny, shut up!” and now it’s “tell him” he mocked in her voice as he put his hands on his hips and looked up at Tim

“We’re…..we’re going to Maya’s cover launch party, she invited us a month ago and well we RSVP’d and honestly I won’t lie, it looks like a lot of fun, man. She rented out the entire club. It's at EVE and I mean we don’t get to do shit like this, it’s the best club in the city and we’re on the list and I feel special alright ?”

“Wait wait, what ?” Tim asked bewildered “You two are going ? Like actually going ? This isn’t some sick joke right because if it is I got pranked” he put his hands up “the act can stop now, I get it”

Johnny and Candice looked at each other as they both turned and gave him a sorry look as Candice’s phone buzzed “sorry Tim...we gotta go now, Oney’s waiting with Joanne”

Tim scoffed as he nodded and opened the door, catching Oney about to knock “I know, don’t even try to explain” he said as he shut him up before he could even speak

“Well damn” Oney shot him a look “Guess that means, you don’t wanna be my plus one….”

“What ?” the other 3 asked in unison as they looked at him

“Joanne can’t make it, she has work so that leaves me with a plus one” he showed the message “Maya never said I couldn’t bring Tim” he gave a shrug

“Wait…. He can’t go like that” Candice emphasized “babe quick, go look for a bigger shirt and Oney, switch pants with Tim and Johnny will give you another pair…..NOW !” she raised her voice at the 3 of them as she watched them scurry and go to her bedroom

“Wow, who knew you could clean up so nicely” Johnny smirked “let me do your hair now, you can’t go out looking nicely dressed with messy hair, oh and cologne, you gotta smell good in case ”

“You’re not serious ?” Tim asked

“You want her to see you looking good right ? So listen to me, if you look good and smell good she’ll like fall in love with you, she won’t even remember you insinuated her work was cheap, or that bikini models are whores or that-” Johnny gulped when he saw him glare at him “here just..just add a little gel and um see you downstairs, hurry up”

Oney chuckled as he watched him get ready “If this doesn’t work, then I don’t know. Not gonna lie you look….nice. You really do, this is probably what she wanted to see”

“Whatever” Tim shrugged as he finished buttoning up the shirt “I just wanna talk to her that’s all, talk to her and get this settled and we’ll go from there” he nodded as he followed him back to Candice and Johnny’s Uber and sat down

“Wow” Candice grinned “look at you, I mean it. You clean up so nicely Tim, you really do”

“Thank you” Tim said softly as he gave her a small grin. “How the hell did I get myself into this ?” he thought to himself. None of this was him, he could feel the sweat start to build up in his arm pits as he moved around in his seat lifting his head up when Oney offered him a mini bottle of Patron

“A roadie, to loosen up before we get there. You could use it, need a chaser ?” he offered some seltzer water widening his eyes as he watched him chug it down in one gulp

“Give me another, now” Tim nodded as he reached out his hand, taking the second bottle and downing it “there, much much better”. No not really all that better but at least it calmed his nerves slightly as he watched them pull up to the club. He looked through the crowd to see who he recognized, some were definitely other models but lots were from work. She really had invited everyone but him, not like he expected it anyways.

“Remember, leave no later than 3” Candice said as they got out and reapplied her lipgloss “Jesus, she’s popular look at all these people”

“You don’t say” Johnny looked around “And she invited US, that means she really does like us and thinks of us as friends. She’s SO nice”

“She is. She really is something” Tim whispered to himself as he stood with them ************

“I love seeing you two so happy and together !” Maya smiled a little tipsy already as she put her arms around Fabian and Marcel’s shoulders

“The two besties are back together ! You can go back to taking your little sexy shirtless gym pictures now !”

Fabian chuckled “well thank you I think ? Thanks for inviting me again”

“Yeah yeah of course, anything to get you two back together” she sipped her martini, feeling slightly buzzed as she sat next to Marcel and put her hand on his thigh “oh my god, you look so cute tonight I can’t believe I didn’t tell you already” she pouted

Marcel chuckled as he placed her hand back on her lap gently “Thank you, you’re telling me now and to me that’s all that matters”

“Maya maybe, maybe we can stop the martini’s for a bit” Fabian suggested as he motioned for the waitress to come over and order them waters with lemon

“What a complete party pooper, I thought Italians were supposed to be fun. This is NOT how Jersey Shore made it seem” she rolled her eyes, pulling out her compact to look herself over as she watched Fabian just laugh at her

“Hey... still very very pretty,” Marcel grinned as he closed it for her. “There’s no need to keep looking at yourself when you look perfect, now have some water so you can sober up a bit and enjoy your night. Everyone’s here for you”

Maya stood up and fixed her dress when she saw Candice walk towards her “hey, oh my gosh you look beautiful !” She gave her a hug and smiled, tilting her head when she saw Johnny take a selfie with her custom cake “why...why is he ?”

“Listen he’s telling everyone we know he’s at a celebrity party and how you’re his friend, he’s truly living it up” she admits with a chuckle

“I just...I like how you guys came, you two are so kind and nice and to be honest I kinda like you guys here more than the others my agent made me invite” she smiled softly “Can I offer you a drink ?”

“Oh yeah sure, I’d love one of those fruity ones you’re having” Candice grinned as she walked over to the bar with her “Listen before we enjoy the night, I have to tell you that Oney’s girlfriend couldn’t make it so...so he brought Tim”

“What ?” she spat out her water “He’s here ? As in right now ? Candice what the hell ? After what happened earlier ?”

Candice sighed as she took her drink in one sitting and got up “Long story short he feels horrible and wants to talk to you, really talk to you. 100% serious this time, no insults nothing so when you’re ready you let me know and I”m getting you two together to talk even if it’s the last fucking thing I do” she nods

“I just wanna enjoy my night and maybe when I’m a little more drunk so I can let his ass know everything I’ve been feeling” Maya nodded as she cheered her and took what she believed was her 15th shot of the night

“So are those real ?” Candice asked as she pointed to her revealing dress “because they look real but they also look way too perfect to be real”

Maya laughed as she touched her shoulder with her arm “They are, but did you drink before getting here ?”

“May have had a couple roadies” she admits as they continued to drink together, getting rowdier once everyone else came to join

“Let’s give it up for Maya !” Johnny yelled as he raised his champagne glass “MY friend is a model and she’s on an ACTUAL magazine and on a billboard !”

“To me ! For being really fucking pretty and having an amazing body !” Maya exclaimed drunkenly as she leaned on Marcel

“And with REAL boobs !” Candice added as they all cheered together and moved to the dance floor as the DJ played a playlist of mid 2000’s songs

Everything was great, perfect actually until Oney spotted Tim talking to a girl, a little too close for comfort in his eyes as he left and sat down keeping a close eye on him

“So what brings you here, do you know Maya ?” the girl asked Tim as she grinned and sat too close to him at the bar

“In a way yeah, you ?” he nodded trying his best to keep up straight as the alcohol from the car ride and the beers he had consumed were beginning to hit him

“well she won this cover over me. Some thing about brunettes over blondes, Kara by the way” she reached her hand out “and you are ?”

“Tim” he responded as he turned around and faced her, looking her up and down as he raised a brow at the less than favorable red number she had on “drink ?”

“Vodka soda” she smirked as she ordered “oh is this your friend ?”

“What ?” Tim asked confused as he turned and saw Oney with crossed arms standing behind him

“You’re drunk, come with me”

“He’s fine with me” Kara smiled sweetly “Don’t worry, your friend is perfect with me here”

“Tim….”

“I’m fine” Tim shrugged “You go and continue being stupid, I’m fine here with her”

Oney shook his head and sighed as he left him alone and went back as he sat down on a couch and watched

Maya pulled Marcel close to her as she turned around against him, moving to the beat of the music as she felt him move with her, putting his hands on her hips both swaying to the old Ice Cube song that played loudly in the club. They had gone to multiple clubs in the past and danced to way too many songs but this time something was different and they both felt it

Marcel felt the jolts in his body as he touched her hips and felt her backside press right against his groin area. Gulping to get rid of what felt like a ball stuck in his throat he made sure to keep his hands there as they moved

“You good ?” she asked not realizing what was even going on with him as she looked up

“All good, we can keep going” he nodded

He was positive his once black shirt was now soaking and see through with sweat as he tried his best to make sure he didn’t get hard as he squeezed her sides every so slightly. As he heard the song end and change to what he recalled was an old Lil Jon song, he groaned feeling her move quicker. Part of him felt like it was best to just leave to the car and handle what he needed to do but the other part said he needed to be composed for her. All that went out the window the second he looked down and saw her dress slowly ride up as she moved lower and lower

“I...I gotta go to the bathroom” he blurted out as he turned her around and saw her eyes, he knew better than anyone what that look meant

“We….we should go to the bathroom” she whispered as she laced his fingers with hers and leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth gently

Marcel shuddered as he looked around and noticed everyone too busy to even notice them gone, he quickly took her hand and rushed to the nearest bathroom with her as he pushed her against the wall and crashed his lips onto hers, moving his hands up and down her hips as he moved down to kiss her neck feeling one of her hands on the back of his neck and the other immediately trying to undo his belt

“Not...not here” he whispered as he stopped her hands and held them in his as he kissed each of them “This...this is cheap, I don’t want it like this with you. You deserve more”

“My place” she kissed his lips again not wanting them away from hers any longer “You and me, my place. I want you, I need you Marcel” Marcel looked in her eyes trying to see any doubt , going with his gut as he nodded and walked with her, hitting a stall with his shoulder

“Busy” a female voice groaned “um really busy”

“Sorry” Marcel apologized quickly, cursing as Maya tripped against him causing him to fall against the unlocked door, widening his eyes at the view in front of him

“What’s going-” Maya stopped speaking immediately as she felt her heart drop to her stomach as she saw Tim entangled with a girl doing way more than kissing. She felt her legs turn into jelly as she watched him kiss and move her against him, at her party of all places.

Tim heard her voice and immediately opened his eyes as he pushed Kara off and fixed his pants and shirt “Maya ! No…..No listen I-I” he stuttered struggling to form a cohesive thought as he reached his hand towards her earning a hard punch across the nose and kick in the groin “Fuck that hurt !” he grimaced in pain not sure if he needed to grab his balls or nose

“Marcel, why is she crying ? what’s going on ?” Johnny asked concerned he watched Candice going after her “Did someone hurt her ? Tell me and I’ll knock them out !”

“That, that’s what’s going on” Marcel said coldly as they both looked at Tim and Kara exit the bathroom both disheveled with Tim’s more than obvious broken bleeding nose

“I told him to stop” Oney spoke up “He didn’t listen, brushed me off. The second he saw me talk to Johnny is when he left”

“It wasn’t your job to babysit” Johnny answered disappointed as he stared “Grown men can take care of themselves, or so we thought”

“You’re not getting a foot near her !” Oney exclaimed, fed up “How fucking dare you do this to her ? At her own fucking party ? Was this what you wanted all along ? To just come here and ruin her night ?”

Tim shook his head as he held his nose with his hand “I….I can’t….I can’t even talk, where is she ? I need to talk to her now” “You’re getting you and your little prost-.....friend the hell out of here NOW” Oney ordered

Tim snarled as he felt her touch his hand “get the fuck away from me”, scaring her enough as he watched her walk away quickly and hurried out the door. He looked at the guys and pleaded with his eyes as he watched them walk away from him

Marcel clenched his fists in anger as he calmed himself down for a second before walking quickly to the parking lot of the club searching around space by space as he found Candice consoling Maya on the pavement and rushed over

“Maya, Maya come on let’s get you home” he said softly as he kneeled in front of her and dabbed her face full of mascara tears with his sleeve. His own heart breaking as he saw how devastated she looked. Nothing mattered more to him than making sure he got her home and safe

“Listen to Marcel, he’s gonna take you home sweetie” Candice whispered as she helped her stand up as Johnny, Fabian and Oney joined them with sorry looks on their faces “It’s brisk” Fabian said softly as he took off his suit jacket and put it over Maya’s shoulders to cover her up “I’m gonna, I’m gonna take her home now, is that okay Maya ?” Marcel asked as he pet her head gently

Maya simply gave a small nod as her eyes stayed glued to the floor, her whole night and heart done for.

#timothy thatcher #timothy thatcher fic #timothy thatcher x oc #timothy thatcher imagine #marcel barthel #marcel barthel fic #marcel barthel imagine #fabian aichner #candice lerae #johnny gargano #oney lorcan #NXT

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rhys-writes-sometimes · 4 years ago

Text

Music Worth Making Part 6: Finally Free

Requested: yes actually lol

Warnings: Luke’s birthday is in this chapter, so sadness, but I think that’s it (other than bad writing of course)

Series Summery: When the reader’s life is ripped away from them, they’re distraught. But with her two best friends and three certain ghosts, maybe the afterlife isn’t so bad after all.

Chapter Summery: You and the band play at your first gig.

Word Count: 3,233

A/N: Aaaa I’m so sorry this took so long! I was in a bit of a writing slump, and then school started. Also, I was trying really hard not to cry writing Luke’s birthday scene, so I have no idea how I’m gonna get through Unsaid Emily. Anyway yeah I hope you enjoy!

______________________________________________________

“How can we die if we’re already dead?” Luke asked, locking eyes with you.

After what happened in the gym last night, you decided you needed a little time alone, to process everything. Whatever it was had scared you, badly.

You poofed into the Molina’s guest room, where Danny was staying. Wincing when you landed on your bad foot, you limped over to the window seat and sat, looking out at the street below. It was such a neighborhood. It was hard to believe that anything bad could happen here.

And yet, it had.

You gasped as the memory of the club came rushing back to you. Not the fun you had, but before that. Seeing the man who had killed you floating above the table. The Club had somehow made you forget that your host was a murderer.

Sometime around 9 am, you decided to go check on the boys. They had been hit with the jolt too, after all.

“Y/N!” Reggie called out as you appeared in the studio.

“Where’d you go last night?” Luke asked from his chair.

“I just needed some time to think.”

Luke nodded once, knowing from your tone not to pry. “Uh, hey, we were gonna go to a cafe, you wanna come?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah sure. Sounds fun.”

Luke narrowed his eyes slightly in confusion, but grabbed your hand and teleported to the cafe.

-----

“Oh, great angle, yeah,” Reggie said as the lady snapped a picture of her food. For some reason, you, Alex, and Reggie were all sitting with this lady while Luke was standing at the counter.

“Is this what we’re here for?” Alex asked, his voice showing that he was regretting all of his life decisions. “To watch people take pictures of food?”

“It’s fun!” Reggie defended himself. “Watch this, people never stop looking at their phones.” He began to move the woman’s food around the table. She looked around in confusion before leaving the cafe. The three of you chuckled.

“Plus, Luke said something about this place being a hot spot for music industry people.”

“Boys!” Luke said, sitting down in the chair the lady had just left. He glanced at you before continuing: “and, uh, Y/N, being a ghost definitely has it’s privileges. I just wrote our names on the playlist for tonight.”

“I’m getting a little worried about him,” Alex said, speaking to you but loudly enough so that the others could hear him. “He keeps forgetting that Julie quit the band.”

“And that she’s gonna come back!” Luke protested. “Just as soon as she knows we have a great gig.”

You bit your lip. You knew how stubborn Julie was, and she was pretty mad at the boys.

“But if she doesn’t come back, let's not forget we do have somewhere else we can play,” Reggie said, noticing the look on your face. “And eat pizza.”

“Dude, I know, it was awesome to be seen by lifers at Caleb’s party-” you flinched. “-but we got this with Julie. We don’t need him.”

Pain flared through your body again, almost making you fall out of your seat. It was getting worse; it felt like being stabbed again.

“It’s that same thing again,” Alex said, rubbing his side.

“Just like yesterday!” Luke added.

“It feels like that time I was fixing my amp in the rain,” Reggie said. You stared at him.

“You shouldn’t… okay,” Alex started, giving up.

“Look, do you think something’s wrong with us?” you asked, to no one in particular.

“Yeah, yeah, we ate 10 pounds of pizza yesterday without a stomach. I’m sure it’s just our bodies working through it,” Luke said, although there was a hint of worry in his voice.

“So we’re just gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?” Reggie said, desperate to change the subject. “That jerk stole our music!”

“And he has to live with that guilt. It’s like what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound, okay? That’s what we should be focusing on.” Luke leaned back in his chair, looking at the three of you.

Alex suddenly sat up straighter. “Isn’t that Willie?” he said, walking out the door.

Reggie smirked. “Well, someone’s not focusing on our music.” You gave a small laugh.

“Hey, Y/N, are you okay?” Luke said, leaning over the table towards you.

“Oh, oh yeah, I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now,” you said, giving him a small smile.

He leaned back in his chair, chewing his lip. He knew you weren’t being completely honest, but he didn’t push it.

-----

“We’re sorry

So sorry

We’re super-duper, crazy stupid

Sorry!”

The boys sang as Julie walked into the studio.

“In case you missed it, we’re all really sorry,” you said, walking over to her.

“Yeah, I… I got that part.”

“We’ve been here for like, three hours,” Alex said, high-fiving Reggie.

“We almost sang to your little brother.”

“He comes in here a lot. Mainly to use the bathroom.”

“It’s not our favorite part of the day,” Alex whispered.

“But, Julie, it wasn’t okay that we flaked on the dance last night,” Luke said, getting the group back on topic.

“We know we let you down,” you said, moving to stand with the boys.

“And none of us wanted to disappoint you,” Alex said quickly. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to us since we became ghosts.”

“So, in hopes that you’ll rejoin the band, we booked a new gig,” Luke said, nervously handing Julie the flyer.

“A mega important, life-changing gig,” Reggie smiled.

“Oh, okay, check it out. Tons of managers go here to listen to new bands. All we gotta do is blow them all away, and we’re living the dream.”

“So, this means a lot to you, huh?” Julie said coldly. “Kind of like how playing in front of my entire school meant a lot to me.”

“Sounds like sarcasm… I’m starting to think our plan isn’t working,” Reggie muttered to you and Alex.

“Look, we know we messed up,” Alex started.

“But, we need you in the band,” Luke finished.

“Of course you do. Because without me, no one can see you guys playing.” You looked at the ground in shame as Julie spoke. “You know, I thought that the music we were writing was special, but you’re too obsessed with your past to even care.”

“I do care!” Luke protested. “Our band has a real chance at greatness, and I’m not gonna let that get away from us again!”

“Uh-huh. Right. So then why did you bail on me to get back at Trevor? I’ll tell you why. ‘Cause there’s only one thing you care about, Luke Patterson, and that’s yourself.”

She turned and stormed out of the garage. “Y/N, are you coming?” she called out. You glanced at the boys apologetically before following your best friend.

-----

Julie sat on the couch, quietly scribbling down answers to her math homework. You sat in the chair next to her, sketching on a piece of paper you had found.

“You uh, you got a second?” Alex asked as the boys poofed in. Julie ignored them, turning on the couch so they wouldn’t be in front of her. You stared at the paper you were holding.

“Oh my gosh, she can’t see us anymore!” Reggie exclaimed. Alex gave him a look; Reggie muttered “oh.”

Alex sat on the arm of the couch. “Julie, please.”

“I already told you, I’m done with the band,” she finally spoke.

“Yeah, we know, alright? But before you decide that forever, we just… we wanted you to know that Luke isn’t as selfish as you think he is.”

“Yeah, you’ve got him all wrong,” Reggie spoke up.

Julie scoffed and went back to her homework.

“You remember that song ‘Emily’? Can we at least show you who that’s about?”

-----

You never thought you would be spying on a ghost boy, but here you were. The four of you had walked to a house not too far away from Julie’s, and were peering through the front window from a distance. Luke was sitting on the counter, his eyes red from crying, watching an older couple move around the kitchen. It was Luke’s parents house.

“So, Emily’s his mom?” Julie asked, peering out from behind a tree.

“Yeah. Yeah, Luke comes here a lot,” Alex said, crouching behind a chair.

“He thinks we don’t know but, we’ve been following him,” Reggie admitted. “All he does is just, hang out like this and watch them. They never really do anything, though.”

“They’re having cake,” you noted. “That’s something.”

“It’s a… it’s a birthday cake. For Luke.”

A tear slid down your cheek, matching the boy inside.

“I never knew Luke was hurting this much,” Julie said.

“Yeah. It’s even worse because when he died, he… left on bad terms. You know, his parents didn’t want their 17-year-old to be in a rock band, so… he just left.” Alex said softly. “He never got the chance to make up with them.”

You watched as Luke blew out his birthday candle. His parents relit it and blew it out together.

“That’s why Luke was so angry,” you guessed, tears falling freely. “If Trevor had given Luke credit for writing all the songs, then…” you trailed off.

“His parents would have known his dreams were worth chasing,” Reggie sighed.

“They would have been so proud,” Julie said, her voice breaking a little. You looked over at her and saw that she was crying, too.

Alex stood up. “We know how bad it hurts when someone that should’ve had your back… completely lets you down. We never meant to make you feel that way.”

“Julie, we love our band,” Reggie said, still crouching behind a plant. “And Luke does too. Please give us another chance.”

You looked back at Luke and his family one last time, noticing a bouquet of flowers on the island. You smiled to yourself. They were dahlia’s, Rose’s favorite.

-----

“Marching on proud

Turn it up loud

‘Cause now we know what we’re worth,” you and Julie harmonized.

Luke suddenly appeared in a chair. “Whoa,” he said as the music died out. Then he smiled. “Julie.”

She smiled back at him. “Grab a guitar. We got work to do.”

“What made you come back?”

“I realized how important music is to all of us. And we’ve lost so much already. We can’t lose this too.”

“Thanks,” Luke said quietly. Julie smiled at him. “Alright, boss, where we at?”

Julie smirked, taking pride in the name. “Oh, and by the way, happy birthday.”

Luke looked a little stunned, and he glanced at you.

“Happy birthday,” you said quietly, smiling at him.

A slight blush creeped onto his cheeks.

Julie laughed slightly. “Let’s go from the pre-chorus.”

Alex smiled. “One, two three four!”

-----

“Guys, are you sure? She’s probably just getting dressed or something,” you said as Luke, Alex, and Reggie stopped outside of Julie’s door.

Reggie smirked. “Which is why I’ll be doing this.” He stuck his arm through the door and knocked on this inside.

You heard Julie chuckle as she called out: “What are you guys doing?”

Reggie stuck his head through the door. “We’re being classy,” you heard him say. You and Alex pulled him back.

The four of you walked through the door.

“Why are you still here?” Luke asked. “We’re going in like, twenty minutes.”

Julie sighed. “I lied to my dad, so… now I’m stuck in my room all night.”

“Yeah, but, we were just at the venue! I mean it’s packed, like, VIPs, managers…” Alex trailed off. “It’s kinda crazy.”

“What are we gonna do about my aunt?” Julie asked, sighing again. “She’s right downstairs.”

Luke walked over to her window, smirking as he opened it. “You’re not taking the stairs.”

Julie shook her head slightly. “Okay. Let me get dressed. I’ll meet you guys there.”

The guys all poofed out, but you stayed behind for a minute, admiring your best friend’s room. It was just so… her.

“Y/N?” Julie asked, making you jump slightly.

“Oh, sorry, I’ll leave-” you started, but Julie cut you off.

“No, it’s fine.” She walked over to the trunk of her mom’s clothes, pulling out a leather jacket and turquoise romper.

“So,” she started. “What’s the deal with Luke?”

You felt your face go red. “Huh?” you sputtered. “I don’t-”

“Oh come on, Y/N,” she said with a smirk. “Everyone can see the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you.”

You shook your head. “Even if I did like him, which I’m not saying I do, there’s no way he would like me back.”

Julie rolled her eyes.

“Really Jules! I mean, look at me!” You gestured to yourself. “I’m a mess, inside and out.”

Julie walked over to you and let her hands hover over your shoulders. “Y/N, you are one of the most beautiful people I know. Inside and out,” she smiled.

“You really think so?” you asked.

She nodded. You smiled. ��Thanks, Jules.”

“Anytime,” she said, smiling back before putting on her outfit for the night.

-----

“Next up, Dirty Candi,” announced the MC.

“Am I too late?” Julie said, rushing over to where you and Flynn were standing.

“Too early,” Flynn said, staring at the stage where Carrie was standing.

“Hope you all came to have a great time!” she said in a peppy voice.

You glanced back and forth between Carrie and Flynn a few times.

“Dirty Candi? How’d she get on the list?” Julie asked.

Flynn scoffed. “Her daddy probably made a call.”

You saw the way Flynn was staring at Carrie, trying to hide behind disgust. You smirked to yourself, but didn’t say anything.

“I like this!” Flynn said, examining Julie’s jacket. “Pretty flower.”

“Thanks. It’s a dahlia. My mom’s favorite.”

The three of you fell silent as Carrie started to sing.

“Whenever I walk in the room

All the focus on me

The way I talk the way I move

They all want on my team.”

You rolled your eyes; it was clear that Carrie was just bragging about herself. Although you had to admit, the song was catchy and the dance moves were pretty cool.

The guys appeared behind you, smiling as they watched the routine.

“The party don’t start ‘till I walk in

I’m stealing all the attention

Don’t get me started on mentions, yeah”

Suddenly Alex was on the stage. You and Reggie looked at each other in confusion, but Alex looked just as confused as you did.

He quickly got over his confusion however, and he started dancing along with Dirty Candi. You laughed at his antics, making Flynn look at you in confusion.

“Oh, it’s the guys,” you explained.

Alex poofed back off the stage.

“You having fun out there?” Julie asked him, laughter in her voice.

“It’s not my fault it’s my… it’s my feet.”

Julie scoffed, smiling at him. “Yeah.”

Alex grinned. “Put me back in, coach,” he muttered before appearing on the stage again.

You were thoroughly enjoying watching him dance around on stage, walking through Carrie and obviously having the time of his life.

When the song ended, he hopped around in a little circle. “You’re making me blush,” he said, pretending the audience was clapping for him. Four members were.

He poofed back to you guys. “I um, I was just doing that for you guys.”

“Mmhmm. You can stop smiling now,” Reggie said playfully.

“I’m not gonna lie, that was… kinda good,” Julie said.

“Yeah.” Flynn scrunched up her nose. “I forgot why I hate her so much.”

Carrie walked up to the six of you, although to her it only looked like Julie and Flynn.

“Hi girls!” she said brightly. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

Flynn turned to Julie. “Now I remember.”

“If you’re looking for Nick, he didn’t come,” Carrie said coldly.

Julie stepped up to her. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Okay, looks like we’re closing out the night with one more group,” the MC announced. “ ‘Julie and the Fat Ones’.”

You, Alex, Reggie, and Julie all looked at Luke as Dirty Candi laughed.

“Really?” Alex asked him.

“Yeah man, my handwriting sucks.”

Julie walked past Carrie onto the stage, the four of you following her.

“Uh, hi, it’s actually ‘Julie and the Phantoms’,” Julie said, her voice coming up at the end of the sentence, making it sound like a question.

“Okay,” she muttered when no one answered, and started to play the piano.

“Hearts on fire

We’re no liars

So we say what we wanna say

I’m awakened

No more fakin’

So we push all our fears away”

You joined her, appearing on stage and taking the harmony line. The crowd gasped.

“Don’t know if I’ll make it

‘Cause I’m falling under

Close my eyes and feel my chest

Beating like thunder

I wanna fly

Come alive

Watch me shine.”

Suddenly, the boys appeared too, making the crowd gasp again.

“I’ve got a spark in me

Hands up if you can see

And you’re a part of me

Hands up if you’re with me

Now ‘till eternity

Hands up if you believe

Been so long and now we’re finally free”

Julie smiled, letting you take the second verse.

“We’re all bright now

What a sight now

Coming out like we’re fireworks

Marchin’ on proud

Turn it up loud

‘Cause now we know what we’re worth”

You smiled as Luke joined you.

“We know we can make it

We’re not fallin’ down under

Close my eyes and feel my chest

Beating like thunder

I wanna fly

Come alive

Watch me shine”

The five of you launched into the chorus again, Julie taking the melody. You dropped out, letting Julie and Luke sing the bridge.

“I got a spark in me

I got a spark in me

And you’re a part of me

Now ‘till eternity

Been so long and now we’re finally free”

You smiled into your microphone as Julie nailed the high note, taking the melody of the chorus.

You grinned as the song came to an end, enjoying the adrenaline rush that came with singing in front of a crowd. You heard the crowd gasp again as the four of you disappeared, leaving Julie apparently alone on stage.

“Thank you, we’re Julie and the Phantoms. Tell your friends,” she smiled before stepping off the stage. She immediately ran over to the bar area where you and Flynn were waiting.

You all squealed as they hugged each other.

“You were incredible! Both of you,” Flynn said, beaming at her two best friends.

“Yeah we were!” Reggie said as the boys appeared.

You stood there in an excited silence for a minute more.

“Hey, hey, whoever Carrie was trying to impress is coming this way,” Luke said suddenly.

“Oh, it’s…” Julie trailed off as she turned around and saw the woman making her way over.

“She looks all business,” Alex said a little nervously.

“Wait, who should do the talking?” Reggie asked. Julie looked at him. “Oh, right.”

The woman stretched her hand out for Julie to shake. “Hi, I’m Andi Parker, and I’m-”

“Julie.” Andi Parker was cut off by Ray.

“Dad!” Julie said in surprise.

“It’s time to go.”

Tag List: @xplrreylo @ifilwtmfc @sunsetcurvej @yagorlemmalyn @caitsymichelle13 @phantompogues

add yourself to my tag list!

#music worth making series #rhys writes sometimes #jatp #jatp fic #julie and the phantoms fic #julie and the phantoms #luke x reader #luke patterson x reader #jatp x reader #julie and the phantoms x reader #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

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hold-me-sickfics · 4 years ago

Text

14 Days: Taehyung

Hi guys! I’m really happy to be able to post this (somehow my internet came back, and I decided to post while I have it). I hope this is alright, I had a hard time writing it because I’m back home for the weekend and it’s hard to find somewhere quiet lol. I hope you guys like it!

TW: Food, Emeto, Nightmares, Slight anxiety attacks, Bruises are mentioned, (If there are any more, let me know and I’ll add them in!)

Note: Also, I wanna give some major credit to @thatoneemokpop-02 for all their help with ideas and getting me started. I kid you not, I was entirely blank earlier and in a few texts with them, they had me ready to write! Please go check out their writing, because they’re so kind and amazing and not to mention, they have some of the most well-developed fics I have ever seen. Especially their “You’re my Yellow” fic. I love it!!! <3

Prompt: “What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.” That’s Taehyung’s thought process when it comes to the other members. For the past several weeks, Taehyung has been having relatively frequent nightmares. Only these nightmares aren’t just “bad dreams.” No, they have him waking up gasping for breath, tending to an anxious stomach, and really whatever else bad can happen with nightmares. At first, he had a nightmare every week, but now it’s gotten to the point of every other night. Lack of sleep is catching up with Taehyung, causing him to really need some extra love from the other members. The only thing is, he’s too embarrassed and afraid to talk about them. Luckily for Taehyung, one of the members happens to find out on their own…

“Ladies and gentlemen, BTS!” The host gestured to the boys who were currently walking on stage.

Once the crowd quieted, the host began talking about BTS’ most recent accomplishments and asking questions to each of the members. As usual, Namjoon translated for them… mostly. BigHit had made a huge deal over them learning English and at least answering one question without Namjoon having to translate. Something about boosting their American support? The boys thought this was rather strange, considering their fans didn’t seem to care whether they spoke in Korean or not, but they did what they were told.

Taehyung watched and listened as the other boys answered their questions in perfect English, and the crowd squealed after every word they spoke. Then, it was his turn.

“Taehyung, let’s talk a little about you. A lot of fans, including myself, were absolutely stunned at your Singularity performance. How did you feel about the song? Any favorite parts in the choreography?”

Taehyung couldn’t breathe. He knew he was supposed to answer in English, but he couldn’t remember the words. Not even the first one.

He said his answer in Korean, hoping Namjoon would cover for him. Namjoon just gave him a look, seemingly saying “I’m not helping. Say what you’ve gotta say.”

Taehyung felt his blood run cold. Everyone was staring and starting to gasp… the cameraman looked worried as to whether or not to shut off the cameras and the members… they were looking at him… disappointed and somewhat angry…

Taehyung woke up unable to catch his breath. He was sweating all over, and not to mention trembling. His vision was blurry with tears.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He’d had a nightmare every night since Saturday (which was when their manager told them they’d be doing an English interview soon), and it was Wednesday now. He’d thought about telling the others, but he turned the idea down. He felt too embarrassed about not knowing as much English as they did, and he also knew they were exhausted and he wanted to make sure they got sleep. Or at least, as much as they could get. The boys already weren’t getting home until 11:45 every night, so when Taehyung actually could come home and go to sleep, he’d usually wake up around 2:00 with the nightmare, and wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after that. Part of this was because of his anxious stomach.

Speaking of which, Taehyung was now frantically pushing his covers off, and covering his mouth. He knew he had about 10 seconds before his late-night dinner would reappear. Luckily, he made it to the bathroom in time, and was able to kneel in front of the toilet. His knees had hit the tile hard, but he figured a couple bruises wouldn’t be as bad as having his dinner projected across the floor.

No sooner than his hands were gripping the sides of the bowl, was his dinner coming up and to the back of his throat. In one retch, he’d brought up a small stream. Followed by another, and another. Taehyung’s stomach was killing him, since he was so sore from having thrown up so much.

After what felt like an eternity, it was over. Taehyung rested his head on the rim of the toilet, and reached up with a sweaty hand to flush it.

Shakily, he stood up and looked himself in the mirror. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, then went back to his bed.

He walked slowly so he wouldn’t jostle his stomach.

Taehyung got into his bed, and pulled the covers up over himself. The warmth felt nice, being as his sweaty skin had felt like ice in the bathroom earlier. He decided to follow his normal routine after this kind of stuff happened…

“Siri, open LanguageGuru.” He whispered, his throat still sore from all the acid.

The app opened, and Taehyung spent the next two hours working on his English. Somehow, he’d gotten lucky, and at 4:30, he’d fallen back asleep. However, since they had to be up and out of the house by 6:00, he had to wake back up at 5:15.

When 5:15 came, he jolted awake, and went to the bathroom to puke again. It had just become part of the routine by now. He threw on a t-shirt and sweats, brushed his teeth, and combed his hair. Each action made his core hurt. Putting on deodorant was one of the worst parts, being as he had to put his arm up and then use his other one to put it on. Every motion felt like his insides had just been squeezed and beaten. By 5:30, he was able to head to the kitchen.

Jungkook just happened to come out of his room at the same time.

“Morning Taehyung!” Jungkook was awake… somehow.

“Morning Kook.” Taehyung’s voice was at a mere croak.

“Woah, hold on are you okay?” Jungkook gently took Taehyung’s wrist to get him to turn and look at him.

“I’m good. Just tired.” Taehyung hoped he’d believe it.

“Yeah, I don’t know about that. Tired is what Yoongi looks like right now… you look sick.” Despite popular belief, Jungkook was actually following in Jin’s footsteps as a lead caregiver for the group.

The maknae pressed the back of his hand to Taehyung’s cheek.

“You don’t have a fever… what else is wrong?”

“Nothing Kook, like I said, I’m just sorta out of it since I didn’t get much sleep.” Taehyung still allowed Jungkook to hold his wrist since for some reason, JK’s touch comforted him.

“I don’t think so.” Jungkook moved his hand from Taehyung’s wrist to Taehyung’s back. He rubbed up and down, and watched as Taehyung leaned into the touch.

“We’ve got dance practice this morning, but if you feel sick, tell me. I’ll get Namjoon hyung to let you come home. Alright?” The concern in JK’s eyes was shining.

“Thanks Kookie.” Taehyung smiled slightly, and then continued walking to the kitchen.

Jin was already rolling with cooking.

“Okay guys, we’ve got 20 minutes till we’ve gotta be in the car. I’ve made toast, and there’s bacon if you can get it away from Namjoon. Taehyung, Jungkook, what do you want to drink?” Jin was pouring “on the go” cups for each of the boys.

“Orange juice. Thanks Hyung.” Jungkook looked over at Taehyung.

“Coffee please.” Taehyung’s bags under his eyes seemed to be deeper and darker than everyone else’s.

Jungkook didn’t approve of Taehyung’s choice, being as coffee in the morning always upset his stomach, but he allowed it, hoping that it would at least make Taehyung feel less exhausted.

By the time everyone had eaten, it was time to load up and head to the studio.

The car ride was torture. Taehyung had developed a mean headache, and felt like he was gonna throw up at the first stop sign.

Jungkook had sat in the seat next to him, since he still wasn’t convinced that Taehyung was as “alright” as he said he was.

They were almost 15 minutes from BigHit when Taehyung’s stomach finally revolted. Before he even had a chance to ask for a bag, coffee and chewed up bacon and toast was spilling down his legs. Jungkook was quick to put a bag under his chin for the next round, but it didn’t come. That first one and a mean wave of post-vomiting nausea was enough for him.

Taehyung cried, and Jungkook just held him. Jungkook knew he was sick now, and he could prove it. Before he could even tell Namjoon, the leader had already stood up and looked back at them.

“Oh no,” the concern in his eyes was evident. “It’s okay Taehyung, we’ll be at BigHit in a minute and we can get you cleaned up. Jungkook, can you help him get to the showers?”

“Yeah Hyung, I’ve got him.” Jungkook was wiping the leftover vomit from Taehyung’s chin.

“Taehyung, bud, I’m sorry you feel bad.” Jin spoke up, as he came back from the front. He’d brought a water bottle out of the cooler and a paper towel.

Jungkook helped Taehyung sip the water, and Jin dabbed the sweat from the younger’s face.

“Hey, this is Namjoon…” he went on to tell their choreographer what had happened. (It was always a big deal when one of them threw up. That could mean they were catching a virus, and since their trainer worked with other groups as well, he had to be strict about that kind of thing. It was the same way a few months ago when Namjoon came down with the flu.)

A faint noise told Taehyung that they’d been given the rest of the day off, which they were all more happy about than anything.

Then, they got a second phone call.

“Oh hey um-“ Namjoon wasn’t even able to get a word in. Judging by his expression, whoever was on the other end was yelling- a lot.

“Alright. We’ll be there soon.” Namjoon hung up, and then turned to the group.

“That was the head choreographer.”

Jungkook was still holding Taehyung close. He never was one to let a little throw up bother him.

“He’s still bringing us in. Taehyung… I’m so sorry. He’s letting you take a half-hour to clean up but then you’re supposed to join us…” Namjoon knew they weren’t his own orders, but he still felt like the bad guy having to say it.

“I-I’m okay hyung.” Taehyung shivered mid-sentence. “It was just the c-coffee. My stomach didn’t like it. I’m okay.”

How he looked said otherwise, and Jungkook piped up to mention that.

“Hyung isn’t there anything we can do? We’re all exhausted but Taehyung looks like he’s gonna collapse the second he gets off.”

“I’m sorry guys… he sounded serious… I’d talk to him but it seems the only thing he’s gonna do is make practice worse if we keep bugging him.”

The car stopped, and all of the boys stood up. Hoseok had his earbuds in before, but now that he’d taken them out, Yoongi was quick to get him out of the car and explain to Hoseok what was happening before he saw it. Hoseok’s sympathy sickness was not gonna help the situation at all.

Jin and Namjoon got off as well, followed by Jimin who was headed inside to find some clothes for Taehyung to change into when he got out of the shower.

“Taehyungie, can you stand?” Jungkook sweetly placed his hand on Taehyung’s upper back.

“Yeah I’m alright.”

Taehyung stood up, and Jungkook came right behind him. Luckily, the showers were on the first floor to the left, so Jungkook and Taehyung got there quickly.

Taehyung undressed himself, and then stepped into the shower. The hot water helped to soothe his sore muscles. He used the time in the shower to calm down, and try to refocus on his main mission for the day. Staying awake.

“Hey Taehyung, I’ve got your towel out here and Jimin brought clothes and a toothbrush. I’m out here when you’re ready.”

Taehyung knew what that meant. They’d been called back, and Taehyung’s time for showering was over.

He stepped out of the shower, and Jungkook handed him the towel. He got dressed quickly, and he and JK went to the studio.

By the time they got to the studio, the choreographer had already left, and the rest of the boys were already being led by Hoseok in the routines.

“Woah woah, pause it.” Hoseok waved the music off, and everyone stopped for a moment.

“Feeling better Taehyung?” Hoseok asked, walking toward the two.

“Yeah. The coffee just got me a little. I’m alright now.”

“Okay but if you need to stop just tell me. Joon, can you hit play again?”

Namjoon hit “play” and they started practice up again. Jungkook kept a close eye on Taehyung throughout the day, wanting to make sure that he really was alright.

Rehearsal lasted until 8:30 p.m. When it was over, the boys loaded up and headed back to the apartment.

“I’m making supper for anyone that wants it.” Jin got the chicken nuggets out of the refrigerator, and started to put them in the fryer.

“I think I’m gonna go ahead and turn in.” Taehyung both dreaded sleep and longed for it. H knew he’d end up having a nightmare anyway, so he might as well get some sleep while he could.

“Alright, night Taehyungie.” All the boys said their goodnights, except Jungkook who went with him back there.

“You going to sleep early too Kookie?” Taehyung asked, his eyes already heavy.

“Yeah… hey um if you need me tonight, wake me up okay?” Jungkook gave Taehyung a tight hug.

“I will Kookie. Don’t worry. Just get some rest.”

The boys said goodnight, and Taehyung was asleep almost instantly.

---

2:00 rolled around quickly, and as usual, Taehyung woke up unable to catch his breath. He was crying, terrified once again of forgetting how to speak in their upcoming interview. He felt sweat coating his skin, and he was almost at the part where he pukes, then someone came in.

“Tae Tae, it’s okay. It’s alright. I’m here. Breathe.” Jungkook was at his side, holding him tightly. Taehyung didn’t know how he got there, but he was glad to see him.

“J-Jungkook?”

“It’s me. Taehyung, you’re shaking…” Jungkook’s eyes widened.

Taehyung felt the bile rise in his throat, and he quickly went around Jungkook and ran to the bathroom. Once again, he crashed down, and vomit spilled out of him.

Jungkook came up behind him, holding his middle.

“Just get it up Taehyung. It’s alright. I’m here with you.”

The vomiting part didn’t last as long as usual, and Taehyung attributed that to Jungkook being there. Soon, they were back in Taehyung’s room. Jungkook decided to sleep with Taehyung in case he had another nightmare, but they couldn’t sleep until Taehyung told Jungkook what had him so upset.

“It’s that interview on the 25th. I’m- I’m afraid I won’t be able to speak correctly… or at all.”

Jungkook’s eyes filled with compassion.

“How come you didn’t say anything?” Jungkook rubbed Taehyung’s arm.

“I felt embarrassed about not knowing as much as you guys, and I didn’t want anyone to be worried about me since none of us are getting any sleep anyway…”

Jungkook took Taehyung’s hand, and gently squeezed it.

“First of all, I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with this by yourself. I know it must have been scary. But now you’ve got me and everyone else. The truth is, all of us have been nervous about the interview. Or at least, I know I have. But that’s a good thing because it means maybe we can help each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve been studying pretty hard, and I know you have too… so maybe we can study together! Then if one of us has trouble in the interview, the other once can step in and help them out.” Jungkook smiled.

Taehyung liked the idea, and agreed.

“Good. We start tomorrow.”

After that, both boys went to sleep and thankfully, slept through the night.

For the next couple weeks, they worked hard together on learning English. Namjoon got them some extra time by firing their old choreographer and hiring one that gave them more time between rehearsals so they wouldn’t burn themselves out.

By the time the interview came, Taehyung and Jungkook both aced it. Including the part where Taehyung introduced himself.

“My name is V, and I’m good boy.”

#RPF #Emeto #Nightmares #14DayFics #Taehyung!Sickfics #Caretaker!JK #TW Food #Hoping to post JK tomorrow!#Slight Anxiety Attacks #Bruises mentioned

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bethhxrmon · 4 years ago

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passed down like folksongs, chapter six- steve x reader

[gif credit to @flyingrichardgrayson]

chapter six- they say ‘move on’ but you know i won’t

series summary: Living in Hawkins was never easy for anyone. However, it becomes ten times more difficult than usual when you catch feelings for one Steve Harrington. What should be a simple schoolgirl crush ends up being complicated by your step-brother, Tommy Hagan, and the mysterious goings on in the town of Hawkins. [masterlist]

pairing: steve harrington x female! hagan! reader

chapter summary: Convinced there is nothing left for you to do, you spend a bulk of your time searching for Barbara Holland. A search that leaves you with nothing.

warnings: swearing, angst, the usual!

word count: 3.1k

a/n: Well, you can tell I was certainly going through it while writing this chapter <3 and because the steeb tag hates me *insert dudebro youtuber voice here* smash that like button and let me know what you think!

~*~*~*~

By the time March came around, you rarely got a few hours of sleep a night. You were trying to look for any sort of clues Barb may have left behind to be found. There had to be something. It was a long while ago since she left, but you didn’t have anything else to do in your free time. The last of your greenhouse ended up dying off and the winter was still going on at the beginning of the month. You would have to wait for weeks to try planting anything again.

You thought of every possible route at the bus station in the city, tracing lines all over a cheap map you bought at a gas station. It wasn’t that you thought it would be easy to do this, but you thought you would have had some type of lead by this point. As it turned out, you were by no means a great detective.

Still, you had a couple of ideas, and you worked on that map all hours of the day and in any free moment you got. That meant some people saw you tracing a map of the country, but no one ever asked what it was for. Either because they thought you were crazy already or they truly couldn’t care less about what you were doing at this point.

If you had anyone to stop you, they probably would have by now. The one perk of not having any friends was that you could focus on anything else that you wanted to.

That was until Tommy and Carol caught onto what you were doing. They came up to you while you were in the library one day. You were starting to get a good feeling that Barb ran off to Chicago. That just sounded right.

“What’ve you got there?” Tommy asked.

You were quick to try and fold the map shut, but Carol snatched it up, “She’s probably planning to run away.”

“I’d give you the money to get the hell out of here,” Tommy said with a laugh.

You shook your head, “I’m not running away.”

“Then what’re you doing?” Carol asked.

Tommy was quick to put everything together, “She’s looking for Barb! Hawkins Police couldn’t do it so she thinks she can!”

“Oh, sweetie, maybe we should take care of this for you. You’re never gonna find her and I think we all knew that,” Carol said, starting to rip the map.

You leapt up to get it out of her hands, “No, stop! You can’t do that!” “You’re gonna drive yourself crazy looking at this all day. I’m doing you a favor, Y/N,” Carol said, tugging it back.

You tried to pull it back, putting a massive rip in the paper, “What did you just do?!”

“We did you a favor. Come on, you didn’t think she was actually going to come back, did you? She left and she doesn’t wanna be found. Deal with it,” Tommy said with a shrug.

Carol looked over the half of the map she took, “I think I’m gonna use this to start a fire when I get home. Thanks for the kindling, I might use all the dried up shit in your garden next.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying when they walked off with the other half of the map. They weren’t wrong, that was the worst part. You knew that there was no way you could find her on your own, but you had to try. Didn’t you?

A part of you wished that Barb had said something about running away before. Except, she never even talked about getting out of Hawkins any time soon. There were a few places she wanted to go to college after graduation, but she didn’t have her heart set on anything. You wished that she had a place she obviously loved to go to.

You hoped that she figured out that place and that wherever she was that she was happy. That was all you could do. Unless you went all the way to that bus station yourself and asked anyone who was there if they had seen Barb. The police may have done that, but they didn’t know Barb as you did. Maybe what led nowhere to them would give you something to grasp at.

While you didn’t have a car, you did have a bike. That would just have to do. The city was a long while away, but no one would really notice if you were gone for that long. At least, you would be able to buy yourself enough time to get to the station and ask some people what they had seen all those months ago. You could only hope that someone remembered her.

It was simple enough to leave the school. No one batted an eye as you went through the front doors and got on your bike. After that, you were off. In a way, it was the closest thing to feeling okay that you had felt in a long time. There was just something about the cool air hitting your face as you pedaled.

Although, that feeling of slight elation only lasted so long. Your legs started to burn while you were somewhere on the side of the highway. A part of you wanted to stop and hitchhike, but that felt too risky. It was either turn around or keep going. You had to keep going. No one else was looking for Barb so it had to be on you.

That thought was enough to keep you pedaling as hard as you ever had before. At least, until you felt a pedal go out from under one of your feet and heard it clatter on the road.

You skidded to a stop as you clutched your brakes. A swear left your mouth as you tried to twist it back onto your bike. All you had on you was your backpack. It didn’t have anything that would help, so you used your hands to screw it back on and went on your way again.

How long you were off for was beyond you. It never occurred to you that your bike wasn’t meant to go quite so far like this. Though, that realization hit you like a bus when you heard an odd noise and one of your bike tires flattened.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” you muttered and looked over your bike.

This, without a shadow of a doubt, sucked. You were never going to find Barb and all anyone was ever going to think was that you were crazy. Maybe you were but at least you didn’t give up like everyone else had.

Around that same time, Steve had gotten into a bit of an argument with Nancy. It was over everything with the Upside Down, because it always was. He loved her and wanted to be there for her, but it was hard to do when she wouldn’t tell him how she felt.

It wasn’t the worst fight they had, not by a long shot, but he went on a drive to clear his head, getting on the highway to do so. That’s when he saw you, standing on the side of the road, staring at your bike as though if you stared at it for long enough, it might just fix itself. Having not seen Steve’s car, you were pretty sure this was the part where you walked home.

What were you even going to say? How could you explain that you were biking to Indianapolis? Your mom would freak out and Tommy would have a field day. You were so screwed.

You jumped when you heard a car grind to a stop almost right next to you. For a moment, you thought you were in one of those dumb horror movies where the girl had to run away from a crazed murderer. However, you would have recognized Steve’s BMW just about anywhere. In a way, this was the second-worst option.

“Hey, uh, do you need a ride?” Steve asked.

You pursed your lips and nodded, “Yeah, I- I guess I do.”

“Get in, I’ll get your bike.”

“I can get it.”

“I got it, just sit down,” Steve insisted.

You couldn’t argue too much with him, so you got in the passenger seat of his car. He probably thought you were crazy too. Not that you cared all that much about what he thought or what he had to say about anything.

Steve didn’t complain or make any snide comments as he just barely managed to get your bike in the back of his car. Then again, saying hurtful things right off the bat wasn’t quite his style. You just hoped that the drive back could stay as quiet as things currently were.

However, you didn’t have much luck with that as he got back on the road. He kept driving away from Hawkins.

“I thought you were taking me home.”

“Is that where you were headed?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Well, no, but-”

“Where were you going?”

“You’re gonna laugh.”

Steve glanced at you, “I promise I won’t laugh. What is it? Were you trying to run away?”

“No, that might’ve been a better idea, though… um, I was trying to look for Barb,” it was dead quiet and you were quick to continue on, “I- I thought maybe I could get to that bus station in Indianapolis where they found her car and that maybe someone saw her and might’ve remembered where she went to.”

The car was still quiet and Steve knew he had to say something. He wanted to tell you everything, but he couldn’t bring himself to. You’d never believe him anyhow.

He sighed, “Do you still wanna go?”

“I- I can get there myself.”

“I think you got a flat tire. What were you even gonna do?”

“Well, I guess I’d walk or hitchhike if I had to. There’s gotta be something there.”

“Do you actually think you can do better than the police have?” he asked.

You shrugged, “They gave up and they don’t know her. Maybe I’d have better luck. A- and even if I don’t, I have to try. I don’t have another choice. Tommy took all the work I’ve done so far and I can’t just start from scratch again.”

“Y/N, don’t take this the wrong way, but don’t you think that if she were still around someone would have found her by now?” he asked.

The truth was, you had thought of that. You thought of it so many times, but you couldn’t accept it. Barb had to be out there somewhere. If she wasn’t then your best friend was dead and, in a way, it was your fault. It was easier to bike all the way to Indianapolis and back than accept that.

You stared at your hands folded in your lap, “I- well, it’s worth looking, isn’t it? No one else is, it’s like everyone’s forgotten that she disappeared. And if I don’t do this, then no one else will. I- I know it’s crazy and stupid, but I have to try looking.”

“You just wanted to talk to some people at a bus station?” Steve asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, that’s all, you don’t even have to go around with me. I mean, if you ever thought that you were going to take me there.”

“I don’t have anything better to do,” he said, “And I’m not letting some serial killer pick you up in their car either.”

Steve knew that if he didn’t take you that you would try this all over again. And when you did, he wasn’t sure that you would get any help if your bike broke down. He knew there wasn’t going to be anything where you were looking, but he couldn’t say that. Maybe it would be easier to let you figure it all out for yourself. That was his theory.

The car ride was mostly quiet. You didn’t ask what he was doing on the highway. He was probably just driving around to think. You knew he liked to do that. Steve turned on the radio so the silence wouldn’t get too awkward.

You did get a chance to go to the bus station and ask a couple of employees if they had ever seen Barb. None of them even recognized her name or appearance. It was a dead end. She must have really wanted to be gone. You wished that someone would tell you why.

Steve knew that when you didn’t find anything, you wouldn’t take it well. That didn’t make it any easier to see you just on the verge of tears when you got back in the car. He knew better than to ask if you found anything out. That felt like such a cruel thing to ask.

“They’ve never seen her before,” you said softly as you sat in the passenger seat, “It’s like Barb was trying to just disappear without a trace.”

Steve kept his eyes on the road, “It’s been a few months, they see a lot of people.”

“I know, but this feels more and more hopeless. And now I feel like I really have to find her because I’ll just look even crazier if I don’t,” your voice cracked, “I just wanna know what I did wrong.”

Steve winced a little, “Nothing, you didn’t do anything wrong. Whatever happened with her, it’s not your fault.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m not. I know you won’t believe me, and maybe you shouldn’t, but this isn’t on you and you don’t have to fix all of this either.”

“I’ve put too much time into this to stop now. My garden’s totally gone because I kept forgetting to water it, I don’t have any friends, Tommy never gives me a break anymore, everything’s just getting worse and worse and I can’t stop it,” you let out a sob, burying your head in your hands.

Steve pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the car, “Hey, it’s gonna get better.”

“You don’t know that! I’m the one who’s been dealing with all of this on my own and it’s not going back to normal. You were right, okay? Maybe I should just give up.”

“I told you, I shouldn’t have said that. And maybe things won’t go back to how they were earlier, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t get any better. Things can change. You can plant another garden soon. Maybe that’s a place to start.”

You shrugged, “What’s the point if it’s all just gonna die off?”

“Don’t you like it? I mean, I guess I don’t know what you like anymore, but you always seemed to like that sort of stuff before.”

“I do… I just don’t like it as much as I used to. I don’t really like anything all that much anymore. All I’ve had for months now is looking for Barb and I can’t even do that right,” you buried your head in your hands, “Sorry, this isn’t your problem.”

Steve frowned and put a hand on your shoulder, “Maybe it’s not, but I still care about you. You know it’s okay that you can’t find Barb, right? She’s been missing for months and no one’s found her. Including people who actually know what they’re doing.”

“But no one else is looking for her! Hopper said it’s a cold case and that’s just such bullshit! He gave up on her just like everyone else and I can’t do that to her. She wouldn’t have done that to me.”

“But maybe it’s time for you to start moving on,” he paused in case you were going to argue and then continued, “I don’t mean you have to forget about her, but I don’t think Barb would want you to tear yourself apart trying to find her.”

You nodded, “Maybe you’re right.”

A part of you still desperately longed to push Steve away, knowing that nothing good could come from letting him back in, but you couldn’t do that right then. Not when he was actually being helpful. You still couldn’t figure out why he would take you all that way and back without batting an eye. Maybe Nancy made him a more considerate person or something like that.

By the time Steve pulled up to your house, it was already past dinner time. You knew that, but you were still glad Steve got you home either way. Though, you were still trying to piece together a good excuse for being out so long in your head.

When you walked in, your mom rushed right to the entrance of the house, “Where have you been?!”

“Um, I was studying at school and lost track of time. I was biking home and my bike got a flat so I had to walk the whole way back,” you explained.

Your mom let out a sigh, “Why didn’t you call?”

“I didn’t think about it,” you said weakly.

Tommy’s dad walked in, “How were you at school when Tommy said you ditched the last half off the day?”

You stared at the floor, “I um… I- okay I wasn’t at school, I was riding around, I needed a break away from everything.”

“Oh, you need a break from your failing classes?” he asked, “What could you possibly need to get away from? You never do anything. What do you even do while you should be at school?”

“Nothing,” you said, clenching your jaw.

Your mom glared at him, “There’s a plate for you in the oven.”

You took that as your cue to get out of the entryway and go to the kitchen. Why did Tommy have to say anything about you? A part of you wished that he would just ignore you. That had to be better than everything he had done lately.

While you made sure your food was warm, you could hear the arguing just the next room over. It was about you and you didn’t need to catch any of the words to know that. Who else could they be talking about? They were arguing and it was your fault. Maybe Steve was wrong about things getting better.

Once your dinner was heated up, you went straight to your room to eat. You caught a glimpse of your phone and had half a mind to pick it up. Except, who in the world were you about to call? The only person you could think of was Steve and you felt like you unloaded enough on him for a lifetime. This was simply something that you would have to take care of on your own. You could do that. You had done that every single day for the last few months.

After you finished your dinner that night, you figured out what you were going to try to plant in your greenhouse for the spring.

taglist: @flyingrichardgrayson @holidayharringtons @scooprtroopr @insideafictionaluniverse @l0ve-0f-my-life (if you’d like to be added, lemme know <3)

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #folklore fic

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lilolilyr · 3 years ago

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And ohhhh, anything you can tell us about any future projects? 👀

Sure! I'd love to :D

For TOG, I don't have many new WIPs, but I do have

- about 2 more chapters of the Andromaquynh University AU coming up soon(ish)... It's still a damn slow-burn, I swear if I end up only having the getting together in the last chapter, I'll write an epilogue for some established feels xD

- As far as I remember I ended up never posting the (smutty) Andronilynh fic with Quỳnh in lingerie? Was supposed to be a discord collab with a fanartist months ago, but I think by now I can assume they've abandoned the project xD (vague so I won't call them out lol), so... I'll just post the fic itself, I think it's finished already, just gotta dig out the draft

- Sth more for the Just You And Me series maybe? I do have a bunch of ideas but no concrete plans yet...

Then, I've got some Milippa fics coming up:

- a getting together ficlet (2k, T) I wrote in the middle of the night and after looking at it earlier today and then just closing the Word doc with a headache, I think I'll just post that without further edits lmao - edit- posted!

- I want to write a longer(ish, probably still just a ficlet of 1-2k) version of this photostory for ao3! I was thinking about whether to make it established or pre-relationship, then came up with an idea for a getting-together variant that I like, and now I've just seen @onaperduamedee's tags here, and I love that idea as well! But maybe as a separate ficlet some day (if you'd be okay with me writing that, Flo?), as I don't think it'd work out with the idea I already drafted now.

- The very very slowly growing fic (I have more or less abandoned the idea of turning it into a longfic, but maybe that means that I'll post it soon-ish now... Damn, I really love the idea but I just can't seem to bring myself to write much for it, why brain whyy) that's a follow-up to this post by @georgiov :)

- a mirror/mirror idea @forestcircle reminded me of earlier today :D

Thanks for the question! <3

Feel free to ask me more about these, or send me other asks/prompts for thirsty thursday!

I also have some vague ideas for projects in other fandoms (below the cut):

- Rly want to continue my 666words Good Omens series, but no actual wips started and they're all one-shots anyway

- a bering&wells artefact story that I thiink I posted the summary of on discord somewhere, but who knows whether I'll actually write it... guess it goes on the list of Might Write It If I Get A Reply to both remind me of the idea's existence and show that there's an interest for it

- Thinking about whether or not and if yes for which ship I should write the suburbs AU I posted about on my WIP blog @thelucyverse

- I'd love to finish my Heistwives Kinda Job series one day, but goddammit I know I probably won't anytime soon lol

- Thinking about whether or not and if yes when to start podficcing part 4 of Leo Inter Serpentes by @aeternumregina, a wonderful longfic series (and I've seen you've started posting the last part!!! Really need to catch up), problematics being a) time (podficcing is hella time extensive and I'm not sure I want to get tied down in weekly uploads again, but on the other hand a slower upload schedule would make it harder to remember the voices and all when reading), b) it's partly NSFW, which I'd censor for the audio, which again is Work, c) it's HP and... Well... I've been working on getting the overterf's name /out/ of my ao3 fandom top5 (the ones that are shown without clicking expand on the list) by getting my Star trek disco fic count to higher than HP, which it now nearly is, and I don't want to ruin that lmao, d) if I do start another long podfic, I'd actually love to podfic my own Andromaquynh fic In Your Stead? Because for once I have a story I wrote myself that I feel would be worth it... But like... I also really do want to continue Leo Inter Serpentes! But it's 7 monsterlong fics! And just...aaah! XD #strugglez

- Wanna write more lezbean smuttttt

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twomoonstwosuns · 5 years ago

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in too deep.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warnings: alcohol, smut (18+), swearing, age gap (reader over 18), everything consensual

word count: 4.0k

a/n: tag list is open, let me know if you wanna be added! feedback is greatly appreciated. also this whole series has gotten such a great response so thank you so much <3

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Do you want to go on a date with me?

Want to get a drink with me sometime?

You had rehearsed it in your head seventy time since you got ready for class that morning.

The only thing you didn’t have prepared was what he would do if he actually said yes.

You knocked on Poe’s office door, the momentum from your knuckles causing the door to move in place. “You wanted to see me?”

Poe gestured you in, pausing the cleanup of all the papers on his desk. He left the door open, the tiny glimmer of hope that office sex would happen going straight out the window.

“Yeah, I finally found that book for you.”

Poe pointed to the thick book on his desk. You walked in and picked it up, thumbing through a few pages in the middle. You had been talking to Kaydel before Poe’s class a few days prior about a paper you were starting to write but finding very few sources for and he had heard you, mentioning to you that he might have something that would help.

“Shit, this is heavy,” you said, putting it into your bag. “Thank you, really. I’ll try to get it back to you soon.”

“Take your time with it. There’s a lot of info you might find useful in there, you might need to keep it for a while to be thorough. It’s not exactly at the top of my reading list right now, so I won’t miss it.”

You smiled appreciatively. Your brain told you this was your opportunity, the question on the very tip of your tongue. You opened your mouth to speak, but Poe spoke first.

“There’s something else.” You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. He let out a heavy sigh as he busied himself with piling up the papers on his desk. “I have a date tonight.”

Your lips parted like you wanted to say something, only you realized you didn’t know what to say. You were quiet for a moment, clearing your throat as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other.

“Oh.” You feigned nonchalance, but your mind was racing with questions. You kept your face as neutral as possible. “Ok.”

Poe finally glanced up at you, looking for any signs of protest.

“I know what we’re doing is casual—“

“It is,” you replied a little too quickly. “I mean, it is. Casual.”

The added inflection of the word was not lost on Poe. His brow furrowed just a little as he studied you. You avoided his eye, instead adjusting the strap of your backpack.

“Thanks for letting me know.” You backed towards the door, finally meeting his eye and giving him a tight-lipped smile. “I gotta go, but have fun tonight.”

Poe opened his mouth to stop you as you turned away but he didn’t say anything. You had already rushed out. With his hands on his hips, he looked down at the papers in front of him, thinking how he kind of didn’t want to go on this date, but it was probably for the best that he did. He was getting too attached to whatever you called what you were doing. That didn’t stop the sting in his chest upon having to tell you.

But you did seem upset about it, and it posed a question in Poe’s mind: why would you be upset about that if you didn’t care?

Perhaps he was overthinking it, reading too much into it, but he couldn’t help but feel elated at the idea of you not being ok with him going on this date. He replayed your whole visit in his mind, from the moment you smiled at him to your face falling at his news. He told himself that there was in fact jealousy in your response, and Poe suddenly didn’t care if the date went well or not, because there wasn’t going to be a second one. He really hoped he was right about you, because maybe it meant you wanted a more than a physical relationship.

Stars know Poe did.

You waited until you were a safe distance away from Poe’s office to let out a loud sigh. A heavy weight landed on your chest and you wished you hadn’t stepped foot in his office. He interrupted you before you could ask him out, but you could’ve asked him not to go after he told you. But you didn’t, and you missed your chance.

“Y/N!” Karé greeted you happily as soon as you stepped foot in your apartment. “What do you say to going to Maz’s tonight? Celebrate the beginning of our last ever semester of undergrad?”

You dropped your backpack, thinking before nodding with a smile.

“Let’s do it.”

You quickly changed into something nicer and did your hair and makeup, meeting up with your roommates in a record thirty minutes. The walk to the bar was a cold one, but better than trying to deal with someone staying sober to drive home or worrying about leaving a car somewhere overnight.

Maz’s was a sports bar frequented by college kids Thursday through Saturday, though it was still popular amongst the locals. The owner, Maz Kanata, was an older woman with a zest for life so grand that she could keep up with hundreds of drunken college students each weekend. She got to know her customers and was a very well known by everyone.

“Alright, quick question before we start drinking,” you said as you slid into a booth with Jessika on your right and Karé across from you, two drinks in front of each of you. “Hypothetically, how would bring up possibly going on a date with the person you’re casually sleeping with who just so happens to be out on a date right now?”

Jessika nearly choked on her drink.

“Hypothetically? Since when do you want a relationship with your booty call?”

You glanced at Karé,who didn’t look as surprised as Jessika. Since your confession to her the night you came back from Poe’s, she had a feeling that you were feeling something different.

“I’ve been really enjoying myself with him lately. And the way he makes me feel…I just thought maybe we could get to know each other, see if it could go anywhere beyond physical. But I also don’t want to scare him away thinking I’m looking for commitment. And I don’t want to ruin what we already have going, which might happen if I ask for a date and he says no.” You expressed all of your concerns; the words just tumbling out like word vomit and you hadn’t even had a sip of alcohol yet.

“You said he’s out on a date right now?” Karéasked, giving you a sympathetic look. You nodded.

“My stomach dropped so hard when he told me. I’m surprised I managed to keep my cool.” You couldn’t help but glance at the time on your phone. It was still early in the evening, just getting to 7p.m., and you wondered if Poe was getting ready to leave or if he was already out. “I don’t know, maybe I should just be happy with what I’ve got. I might not get him for much longer if his date goes well.”

“I think you’re thinking too much.” Karésaid.

“If you told us who he is…” Jessika hinted, but you shut her down with a single look. She held her hands up defensively. “Alright, alright, I won’t ask again. All I can say then is go with your gut, not your heart. Just make sure you’re sober.”

You nodded in agreement as you took a sip of your drink. Your heart was telling you to go for it, risk getting it broken, but your gut was telling you to think about it. Was it really a good idea to get into a relationship with your professor?

Your night with Poe had not left your mind once. Everything from the subtle touch of his fingers in your hair and the lingering kiss he left on your forehead to the way he listened to you attentively without judgment was replaying on a constant loop. You also couldn’t help but think of the little things you’d become so fond of: the crinkle of his eyes and the dimple in his cheek when he smiled, the way he sometimes got passionately carried away when talking during class, and the way his tongue would peek out when he was heavily concentrated on something.

You were getting in so fucking deep that you didn’t know how you’d come out of this without a broken heart.

Two-for-ones turned into two more and soon you found yourself swaying drunkenly to whatever music was playing in the bar. You knew your limits, allowing yourself to enjoy your drinks to the point that you wouldn’t start pouring out all of your secrets. But you did get drunk enough to make some not-so-smart decisions, which is what you did when you stepped outside and called Poe. He didn’t answer his phone, but you left him a very explicit voicemail telling him how much you wanted to fuck him in that moment and all the things you wanted to do to him.

Like your thoughts, your dreams tended to get a little dirty when you drank too much.

You woke the next morning, slightly hungover with a deep desire and an ache in your core only Poe could fulfill. The smell of hash browns and bacon had wafted into your room, the thought of a greasy breakfast making your mouth water. Stepping into the kitchen, you immediately hid your face in the hood of your sweatshirt as your head throbbed, the sunlight glistening on the white snow and making it unbearably bright. Snap stood at the counter, a mug of coffee already made up and he handed it off to you.

“Were you at the bar last night?” You asked, taking a sip and relishing in the feeling of the hot drink warming your insides. Snap chuckled.

“You don’t remember?” You shook your head. “You three got drunk and barely made it down the block before you were walking into snow banks. Karé called me to come pick you guys up.”

“Coffee, breakfast, and a sober cab. I owe you so much,” you mumbled as he set food in front of you. “By the way, if the other two aren’t out here in fifteen minutes, I’m eating their breakfast.”

Snap sat down next to you, stealing a piece of bacon from your plate and getting his hand chased away by your fork. “Karé told me you had a rough night last night.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “My…friend had a date last night.”

“And you’re mad about that because…”

“Because it should be me out with him. I like him and he’s out with some other girl. God, I’m pathetic.”

“You’re not.” Snap assured you. “I don’t need to tell you that friends with benefit type relationships cause complications. You’re experiencing it right now. Just do what’s best for you and if things don’t work out like you want, I’ll gladly be your sober cab.”

You smiled and gave him your last piece of bacon. “You rock, Snap Wexley.”

“I know,” he said, standing up and taking away your empty plate. “Go shower, you smell like a distillery.”

You stuck your middle finger up at him as you walked out of the kitchen, a shower actually sounding very welcoming at that moment. Breakfast and your heart-to-heart with Snap hadn’t quelled the deep desire within you, and you nearly took care of it in the shower but stopped yourself. You expected Poe to ask you about the voicemail you left him, but what if he was still busy with his date this morning?

Your phone rang as you stood in your room in your towel and your heart jumped when Poe’s name flashed across the screen.

“You know, I was just thinking about you.”

“Funny, I was too.”

The question was out before you could stop it, and you mentally slapped yourself for sounding so pathetic.

“How was your date?”

“It was nice,”Poe said and you gulped, wondering how you were going to fake being excited for him. “Didn’t really feel a spark with her though, so I’m not going out with her again.”

You pulled the phone away from your mouth and let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you said, not the least bit genuine. Poe had to hold back a laugh. His suspicions about you caring were correct.

“It is what it is,” he said. “I want to talk to you about that voicemail you left me last night.”

“What about it?” you teased. You knew exactly what he wanted to know.

“Are you planning on sharing the details of those ideas you had with me?”

“Maybe. What’re you doing later?”

“You, hopefully.”

“I’ll come over in a bit.”

“My door will be open for you.”

“See you soon.”

You hung up the phone, acutely aware that it probably wasn’t the best idea for you to go over there. But thanks to your dirty thoughts and dreams, you were practically shaking with arousal. You were addicted to him. He affected all of your senses.

And if you couldn’t have him the way you wanted, you’d have him in any way you could.

》》》

Just as he promised, Poe’s door was unlocked. You slipped inside quietly and were taking your winter layers off when Poe came around the corner. He was shirtless with a pair of dark grey sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips, the chain of his necklace glinting in the soft overhead light. You couldn’t help but gawk at him.

“I’m flattered, but you didn’t have to get all dressed up for me,” you said sarcastically.

“I figured we’d save a couple of steps,” he said as he took a few steps closer to you. His hair was damp and messy, like he had just finished drying it. You gulped as he took you in, eyeing you like a predator eyes its prey. “So, about that voicemail…”

You walked slowly into his apartment, deciding to toy with him a little bit. You took care not to touch him as you passed him.

“To be completely honest Poe, I don’t really remember what I said in that voicemail,” you said, running your hand across the top of the table. “But then I had this dream…”

You took your sweatshirt off, leaving you in a thin black tank that did nothing to hid the fact you didn’t bother to put on a bra. You looked at Poe over your shoulder with a smirk on your face. “…and that I remember very clearly.”

Poe chuckled lowly, throwing his head back and looking at you. “You’re a tease, you know that?”

You cocked your head to the side, licking your lips slowly while studying Poe. You crooked your finger at him, lust burning behind your eyes accompanied by a look of pure desire. Poe walked over to you, his curiosity spiking. You could see he was already starting to get hard at the mere thought of what you wanted to do, even though you hadn’t actually touched him yet. He pressed his body along yours, backing you against the side of the couch. His brown eyes roamed your face, memorizing every inch, every freckle, and every line, and you were sure you forgot how to breathe.

“Show me,” he demanded, his breath fanning over your lips as he grasped your hips. You let out an airy laugh and pressed your hand against his bare chest, your voice just barely above a whisper.

“Well, it started out like this…”

You leaned up, running your lips over the vein in his neck and following it up to his jaw, gently nipping at it. His grip on your hips tightened and he groaned when you wouldn’t put your lips against his own, where he really wanted them. You were drawing this out, teasing him as your hand floated down his chest and to the waistband of his sweatpants.

“And then…”

You said it so quietly that Poe felt the words against his skin rather than heard them. You gently took his bottom lip between your teeth, giving a gentle tug as your hand slipped into his hands and wrapped around the base of his cock. That was the final straw for Poe as he claimed your mouth with his. He grabbed the side of your neck as he tried to take control, but you had other plans. You took his hand off of your neck and pulled away, your cheeks flushed and lips swollen. He gazed at you through dark, hooded eyes, arching an eyebrow in interest at what you were going to do next.

You dropped down to your knees, one hand bringing his sweatpants down and the other applying a bit more pressure to his hardened cock. His head dropped back with a deep exhale as you took the head in your mouth. His hand found your hair and he tangled his fingers through your locks. With a flick of your wrist, you spread your saliva along his entire length. You ran your tongue along the underside of his cock before taking him fully in your mouth, your head bobbing as you sucked him off.

Your tongue swirled around the head and you looked up at him from your lashes. He was breathing heavily, his hands tightening in your hair whenever something felt particularly good. Your hand came up and cupped his balls, and he couldn’t help but springing his hips forward at the sensation.

“Fuck, sweetheart, that’s it.”

He was going to cum embarrassingly quickly. All his resolve flew out the window when he saw you looking over your shoulder at him with bedroom eyes, like he was a cool drink of water and you hadn’t had anything to drink in days. His hips bucked at the light scrape of your teeth, the feeling sending an unexpected jolt of pleasure through him.

“Stop.”

His cock left your mouth with a soft ‘pop’ and he pulled you up with his hand cupping your jaw. He stepped out of his sweatpants and you leaned in, not quite pressing your lips against his.

“I also seem to recall you saying something last week about bending me over a desk?”

You took a few steps back until you bumped into the table.

“It’s not a desk but I think it’ll still work.”

Poe followed you, turning you around so your back was against his chest. He locked one arm around your waist to keep you still. One hand gently pulled the strap of your tank top down, his mouth replacing where it laid on your shoulder while the other laid flat against your stomach, fingers splayed against your bare stomach and tracing small circles against your soft skin. You sighed dreamily as his lips sucked a mark onto the top of your shoulder, his teeth nipping just enough to send a jolt of heat straight to your core. You were positively dripping at this point. You pushed back against him, feeling his cock pressed against your back. Poe moved to the other shoulder, repeating the same action as you unhooked your arms from the straps. Your hand came up to cup the back of his head, your fingers tightening around his hair.

“Oh god, Poe…”

Poe dragged his lips from your shoulder up your neck, the wet trail stinging with cold with every breath he took against you. The smell of your hair was intoxicating. He enveloped the shell of your ear in his mouth, tugging on your earlobe with his teeth to make you whimper.

“Tell me what you want,” he growled. His hand dipped into your leggings, the groan he let out upon not finding another barrier vibrating against your skin. He rubbed lazy circles against your clit, putting just enough pressure on it to make you write in his embrace.

“You.” All of you; mind, body, you. Of course you’d never tell him that out loud. “Please, I need your cock inside me.”

Poe pushed your tank down your body, removing it along with your leggings and tossing them to the side. He pushed your body down onto the table, the wood cold against your breasts. You moaned as he ran his fingers along your pussy, feeling just how wet you were.

“You’re soaked,” he sounded pleased with himself and you gave him a small roll of your eyes. As if he didn’t know he had this effect on you. You bucked your hips against his fingers, needing to be filled to dull the ache of your pussy.

“Poe, don’t tease, please.”

Poe had a smartass remark on the tip of his tongue, something along the lines of how you had teased him and not being able to take what you dished out. But he was painfully hard and the way you were bent over for him with all of you on display made him not want to wait anymore. He guided his cock to your entrance and slid inside. The sudden intrusion made your lips part with a soft cry, the new angle allowing him to feel like he was impossibly deeper inside you. He didn’t wait for you to adjust, instead pulling out almost all the way and snapping his hips back home.

You expected it to be rough, but each thrust was deep and deliberate. Poe was making sure he put everything he felt into each snap of his hips. He wanted this, but he also wanted you. He held your hips tightly, finger-shaped bruises sure to be there later on. You rocked back against him with whatever strength you had, your hands desperately trying to grip the flat tabletop. You felt everything from this angle, the ridges of his cock against your tight walls and the table rubbing against your clit as your body moved. The sensation was overwhelming.

Your moans increased in volume as he increased his pace, both of your releases just out of reach. You had been so worked up before you got to his apartment that it didn’t take much for you to feel the heat low in your belly and the coil getting ready to snap. Poe hauled you upright, one hand tweaking your hardened nipples and the other rubbing your clit with ferocity. You clenched around his cock as your orgasm washed over you, your head falling back onto his chest. Poe wasn’t far behind, thrusting his hips once, twice into your sensitive pussy before spilling inside of you.

He held you against him as he pulled out of you, the mixture of your cum dripping down your leg. He then squeezed your hip, bringing your attention to him.

“We forgot a—“

“It’s fine,” you panted, realizing the same thing. “I’m on the pill.”

Poe set you carefully on the tabletop, stepping away from you and coming back with a washcloth. He cleaned up between your thighs, the gesture one of those little things he did that made your heart race. He tossed it aside and stood over you, hands on either side of your hips as he eyed the marks he left all over your neck and shoulders.

“Think you have a few more in you?”

You laughed.

“For you? Always.” You slid off the table, your legs still regaining strength. “But maybe in like five minutes.”

Poe smirked at you before leaning down and hoisting you over his shoulder. Your laugh was music to his ears, a beautiful song he wanted to play on repeat. You swatted his ass as he stepped over the discarded clothing and took you into his bedroom.

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#poe dameron smut #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader insert #poe dameron #modern au #modern poe dameron #smut #back to you series

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