#but i still need to doodle them a bunch in order to get a feel on how to draw them

[tinycheesecakedetective]

...I'm baaaack.

I mean, I made one post about Swap!PV and then got distracted for months, so I wouldn't really call this a comeback. The moment I did come back though, apparently a bunch of lore just fell from the sky! Beast Yeast is upon us and all of a sudden I remember making an alt. version of this goober.

Turns out there were a few things I wasn't satisfied with in the first one, so here I am with my Swap!Vanilla 2.0 human edition! Even after all this time I still don't have a name for him. There's more white in his design, he has four horns instead of two and they form a crown on his head(that might be a bit hard to see), he also has a halo, his staff changed drastically, and he lost his soul gem. Instead he has two new smaller gems on his "ribcage".

This time around I tried to invoke more death themes, hence the ribcage, more wrappings, the halo, and the burn marks from, y'know, being re-baked and essentially reborn. The halo also makes for a nice double meaning, showing his somewhat good intentions behind the violence and spreading chaos gig.

Speaking of intentions, I maybe or maybe not have mentioned the only swaps happening in this proposed AU are between PV and WL and [possibly] Black Raisin and Red Velvet. I say maybe because if I checked, all the writing would disappear and I would have to start over again. However, I have wondered if those two swapped, how would PV handled the kingdoms? Would it be the same as DE or would the fates of each kingdom end up being swapped as well? It's something I definitely need to think on and develop.

Anyways, ramble break, here's a few doodles I did for Swap!PV!

Yeah, I had a lot of fun doing this. SO! A few changes not mentioned prior. Eyes! There are more eyes, especially on his coat. I took a bit of inspiration from a certain blue jester and his realm of nightmares. It also plays nicely with the whole "truth revealed" theme. Why not give the holder of the light of truth a bunch of opened eyes to represent his awakening? Also they looked good and his cape-coat was too plain without it.

Fun Head Canons: He's always floating, even when he's relaxing his feet never touch the floor. This PV still has a lily garden, it's just hidden away because while he still misses WL despite everything, he refuses to show weakness in front of others. His coat can take the shape of angel wings when angry and multiple eyes can appear when furious or in distress. Speaking of eyes, the ones on his coat glow. Those gems on him are pieces of moonstone that got corrupted after saving him.

As for the story behind him, I had to make a few adjustments. For one, DE and WL are two halves of the same whole, and the only reason either of them exists is thanks to precautions taken by Elder Faerie. Which means Pure Vanilla somehow has to get the stuff from Lily, who came to Beast Yeast without saying much of anything to anyone beforehand. Secondly, it means the Pure Vanilla Kingdom can't be the last kingdom explored. Pre Beast Yeast, the order in which the kingdoms would be explored would change, where White Lily's area would be explored first instead and the Vanilla Kingdom would be last. I'll address the second issue on a different post related to White Lily, but first things first. Fair warning, I wrote quite a bit.

~~~

After forming the seal, White Lily falls ill due to the immense amount of power used. She's not used to using so much of her soul gem, much less creating a seal to lock away ancient evils. Seeing her faltering state, Elder Faerie takes her away to his palace to help her recover. During her time in the palace, White Lily becomes distressed because not only does she feel like she's being a burden, but she won't be able to continue her research on how cookies were made. That was the whole point of coming here, after all. She left her friends and home behind to find the truth and ended up sick and bed ridden instead. The least she could do to redeem herself was to find the truth.

Racked with guilt and regret, she asks Elder Faerie for two favors; she wishes to know the secret behind cookies' creation, and she requests a pen and paper to write with. Before long, White Lily gains a messenger(Silverbell) who gives her books from the library to read, and a way to reach the one other person she understands. Someone who should've known where she was most of all. Pure Vanilla Cookie.

From there the two keep exchanging letters as White Lily brushes up on fae and beast lore. But eventually White Lily would learn about the Night of the Witches in a similar enough way to canon, i.e. finding the book about it. While she's recovered enough, she's still not well enough to go, and Elder Faerie isn't risking her well being and safety for a banquet. She's devastated that her questions may never be answered. If only she could go, if only there was some way to witness it while being in the Fairy Kingdom. And then... she realizes something. Perhaps there is a way for her to know after all...

White Lily, in the discomfort of her hospital bed, writes a letter to Pure Vanilla and asks him to go to the Witch's Banquet in her place. She knows that this is a huge ask, and he has every reason to refuse the favor, but it would mean the world to her if he did. Elder Faerie hears about this and is rightfully worried, telling her about the dangers, and any cookie that goes doesn't come back the same, if at all. He sends his own letter to Pure Vanilla to warn him of the dangers that lie ahead. A few more letters come in from WL apologizing for her request, saying it was out of line and inappropriate. "What a selfish request," she thinks, "after leaving him in the dark for so long, I have the nerve to ask him for anything at all?"

However, despite everything, he eventually decides to go. He knows that this means everything to her, and a part of Pure Vanilla secretly wondered about it as well. White Lily searched heaven and earth to find the truth so she could help others. Why would he keep avoiding it for so long? If he knew the truth as well, perhaps he could use these secrets to help the people of Earthbread alongside her. Maybe now he would finally understand White Lily more.

He wrote a letter addressed to both WL and EF about his final decision. White Lily is surprised at his decision, and is eternally grateful, while Elder Faerie is more resigned and concerned, knowing that he won't be able to change his mind but still wanting to help. He asks her to help write her next letter, and the two send a package to Pure Vanilla. Inside was another letter with the faint smell of lilies, as well as a map to the location of the banquet and a moonstone from Elder Faerie as a show of goodwill and for protection. He in turn sends what would become his final letter to her, unbeknownst to the two reading. He expresses his gratefulness to both WL and EF and declares his determination to find answers both for her and for the sake of everyone, stating, "Let me be your hope when you have none, and you my guiding light in shadows..."

Pure Vanilla proceeds to head to the Witch's Banquet, discovers the bitter truth, and in his attempts to save the other cookies falls into the ultimate dough. The fleeting scent of lilies is the last thing he grasps in his final moments, and the faint glow of a moonstone ensures his survival. His soul gem shatters under the weight of the truth and is scattered across the world, longing to be made whole once again.

~~~

Well! I think I have said everything I can say about him for now. I'm sure I can come up with more things later, but if you read this far, thanks for reading! I did not know I was going to say this much, so yeah. Next post is for White Lily specifically, I hope. I'm also taking suggestions for ideas about the other kingdoms and ways this could go, so if you have anything to suggest, let me know. Y'all have a good evening!

[theamityelf]

Speaking of underrated Yandere characters... what about Makoto? What would he be like as a Yandere? Can we even yan-ify the lad? I imagine the amount of power he has as Ultimate Hope (if this is post-everything) could be wielded in a real scary fashion... but at the same time, Makoto has so little malice in his body I'm really struggling to think of actual harmful yan-yan activities he could do that wouldn't just make me want to pinch his cheeks and go, "You're adorable!" ....Maybe that's a skill issue on my side, though. Since I find everything Makoto does to be babygirl

OKAY, let's do this. 🤩

As you've kind of observed, this needs to be divided into Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto vs. Post-THH Yandere Makoto. (There's a gap in there, between the Tragedy and the end of THH, because anything he does as a yandere while locked in Hope's Peak would be less interesting and so I'm ignoring that time period.)

I'm trying to keep this as in-character as possible, so I should say, before I begin, that it's also possible to go a "Makoto's canon personality is a front to cover his creepy yandere side" route, instead. That just wasn't my choice for this post. There are a lot of ways to go with this, and I'm kind of zeroing in on one interpretation.

(You can read this as x Reader; the best canon character to use as the darling for this is probably Hajime or some other non-Ultimate character.)

Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto: The yandere side doesn't kick in until they're in an established relationship. Makoto is pretty great at pining and having unrequited feelings for people; pre-Tragedy, I'm willing to say there's a generous off-ramp where the person doesn't return Makoto's feelings and nothing comes of it.

Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto, the trap only closes if he starts to date the person or get close to them in a way that is understood to be romantic, at which point his behavior is...extremely considerate. Or I should say, extremely thoughtful; considerate implies there are robust boundaries.

It's like, he's constantly giving his darling things they'll like, or things that remind him of them.

He of course doesn't announce to his classmates that he's dating someone; they notice the change in indirect ways (since he still doesn't talk about himself or his life that much). They notice he's often in a noticeably good mood, and he's often going above and beyond to accommodate his darling's needs. (The more true this is, the worse it'll be later.)

If his darling likes a certain musician, he's finding a way to get them sold-out concert tickets. (Maybe it's Ibuki's old group, and he has to do her homework for a week to get her to call them to get him tickets.) If his darling is home sick from school, he's making sure he has their notes for the day and doing favors for Teruteru to get them some soup and just generally, the vibe is, "Wow, Makoto really likes this person; he's going all out. They're so lucky. He's so great."

So, if the person ever tries to break up, some of Makoto's less scrupulous friends are going to be a serious obstacle.

Something like, Byakuya ordering them to take Makoto back, like, "His birthday is coming up, I didn't know what to get him, so I bought the bank that owns your house. Take him back, or I'll evict you."

Kyoko doesn't blackmail them, but she does some standard detective-ish stalking, enough to be like (if it's Hajime), "I wondered why you would break up with him, but then I found this [Kamukura Project signup sheet]. Needless to say, I think he'd like to know that the reason wasn't anything to do with him. I'll be taking this with me."

Mondo not explicitly threatening them but cornering them and asking a bunch of questions. "So, what gives? There's no way he fvckin' cheated; he was practically doodling your name in hearts 'n sh!t. So what's the problem?" (And Fuyuhiko might pull a similar thing. Makoto makes a lot of friends.)

If his darling tells him what his friends are doing on his behalf, he'll just smile sheepishly like, "Oh, sorry about that," and do nothing to stop them. He didn't tell them to do any of it, because he doesn't have to, and he kind of knows that and lowkey uses it.

Post-THH Yandere Makoto: Post-THH, the opt-out isn't there; if he's spending enough time with someone to develop feelings for them, his friends notice the change in his mood and that's pretty much a wrap, whether they start dating or not. "You can't leave. I haven't seen him this happy since before the killing game." "With everything the world is taking from him, he deserves one thing."

In either case, he's a very persuasive yandere. It's easy to explain away any clinginess or off behavior he shows. Anything he does personally (as in, not via being-sad-around-his-friends), he does for a reason. His yandere self is a weird parody of normalcy, where keeping tabs on the person he loves makes sense for a lot of reasons that seem obvious when he says them in that simple, innocent way, but he'll look away shyly if the person he loves were to take their shirt off.

Anything he can't explain away, he'll just apologize for. He's a really easy person to get along with. He adapts to people very well, and he has molded himself around his darling.

He catches them in a lie– even just a normal lie, like exaggerating what time they got back to their room after school, work, or whatever else –and gladly accepts any reasoning for it, and it always seems like he's the one being taken advantage of, because he's always so eager to accept his darling's excuses, but hey, why were you able to point out the lies in the first place, Makoto? And why did you?

Example:

"Yeah, sorry I didn't answer your text. I didn't get out of my study group until, like, 9pm, and by that point I was just too exhausted to check my phone."

"Really? That's weird. Chihiro told me you got out at about 5:45. And I heard that you were scrolling Instagram on your way to your room."

"...Yeah...Well I just...I accidentally checked my texts during study group, so by the time I got out, everything was marked as read and I forgot to text back."

"I figured it was something like that. No hard feelings! It's not like it was an emergency or anything. Hey, I got you something from the school store...!"

[cogmented]

how do you come up with your designs for mcyt’s? theyre so creative and cool so i thought id ask

THANK YOU AND THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION

now entering yap city tihs will be a long post

my steps are basically

voice

personality

og look of minecraft skin/branding

player movement

other ppls fanart (if any)

things that happened/cultural associations

i start with a bunch of random sketches to get the feel of the person.. that's why so many of my early posts were doodle pages. to me, character design is more based on what the person is like rather than what they look like. i think a lot of people do that

I do this with all of the above and shape language, but in bigger art pieces outside of lineups i also use color and perspective (as in youll see more of someone like spepticle in large, sweeping scenes while someone like zam in closed, heavily perspective-based ones) to indicate personality. ill change designs when suited for this too (spoke with or without a gas mask, vi with or without a mouth, etc etc)

my first iteration of lifesteal designs heavily relied on the look of the skins and were gradually tweaked over time. my most prominent example of this is my spoke design, so i'll use him at least once in the examples for continuous comparison.

i watch a couple of each person's videos first, understand their voice, personality, and what they do, then focus on them in other people's videos too to get a full story, their movement, and what others think of them (helps with personality and things we might not see). streams are the most helpful because they're less biased and you see so much more of their antics. huge stream fan.

i get into the how after this

this process doesnt go in order for some designs and others have a more prominent focus on particular parts of the process that override or effect other parts

Voice

starting off with not spoke here's a problem i encountered when designing wemmbu

I based him a lot off of spoke and ashswag due to not knowing much about him besides the fact that he schemes (spoke&ash-esque) and he doesn't move his character around too much when talking (ash behavior). he didn't match the left one because his voice doesn't have the dramatic, flamboyant fratboy flair that spoke has, so I shifted it to be more friendly yet still dangerous with curved square shapes rather than triangles. i made his scheming, diabolical nature more evident through his clothing that's pretty jester-like and sharp, but with a smoother middle that spoke doesn't have (and to match his eyes).

voice also impacts character height. i dont know how to describe this. mapicc and zam are similar heights because their voices are similar, same goes for parrot and vortex, but leo and vitalasy are close to the same height (due to vitalasy's huge fuckass ears) despite having wildly different voices, with leo's bold text voice and vitalasy's higher-pitched jumbled kinda speech they still take up the same "amount of space" in conversation. they stand out. and even though spoke's voice also stands out an incredible amount he is still only slightly taller than average. this is where personality overrides voice in my designs.

Personality

spoke is sharp in every sense of the word, but is also able to mold himself around to get what he needs.

my first attempt at him was pretty lackluster. i didn't know much of him at the time, only his wither video, and thus understood him mainly through his association with parrot. he seemed a lot more evil and more serious at first glance. like woah! fully fledged mouth and nose?! not anymore.

i cover certain expressive parts to also depict more of their personality in some abstract, holistic way. after watching streams and whatnot, spoke doesnt actually speak (excluding his random sounds and yips or whatever he does) too terribly much, except when the spotlight is on him or he's trying to get something. so, i tweaked his design to encompass that when i understood him better.

i take away his arms to allow his hands to stand out more (character movement thing, he moves around a lot when no one is paying attention to him, punches the air when ..not talking but making a point ig. he's a big fan of hovering menacingly), i give him a slinky-like outside skeletal structure to both capture his affinity for withers (i made him a wither thing because of the wither sounds in his video.. and the withers in general) and to give him the feeling of more freedom with his movement.

i also just really like gas masks so. basically, spoke is someone that hides away until he chooses to stand out. thank lord heaven he looks like some shadow creature.

later on i gave him more magenta highlights, especially in the wormhole era because 1. magenta wasnt heavily included in his rainbow look, making it stand out on his whole being, and 2. because magenta is really really cool and people should use it more.

og minecraft skin/branding

hi spokeis here. this will be quick because his branding is so heavy. lightning, rainbow, black. boom. character. withers and white eyes? easy. causes a lot of anarchy? again, lightning and withers.

planetlord on the other hand is someone i greatly differed from the og skin and branding. i saw the design in a vision idk. i shift his colors all the time in different pieces but i use more of his pfp colors now because there's too many purples in this world. his branding, personality, and voice all connect very well. a bit misleading, he's a bit of a weasel.

Movement

i never used to look into movement, but pvp styles and conversational movement of lifesteal is intriguing. unfortunately it was only something i started paying attention to during the end of s4 because vitalasy's movement was so interesting. he's a big fan of getting in people's faces.

ill be real, i didn't really notice spoke a lot during things because he was almost always never alone, and when he was it is always at a distance or you knew he had people to back him up.

spoke's movement isn't actually too abnormal. he's goal oriented and tends to always be doing something, and when he does he finds the most efficient way possible. pretty basic. his design choices are based mainly on voice and personality.

someone like mapicc on the other hand has very particular movement. he spins around people when fighting and gets right up in their face (in nethpot pvp mostly), so i made his clothing tighter to the skin with looser parts to accentuate that movement: practical clothing for close combat battles. it was also noticed (by the lord) that he tends to look straight forward instead of the slightly down that most players do.

zam fights differently, but i made him with the og branding (he's princezam) and what he does in mind. his body language in my art is more indicative of his personality.

Other people's fanart

shoutout the community, a notable amount of ideas were from the mid-late 2022 lifesteal community.

dog leowook and leather jacket mapicc were from gen, jackalope rek from aoi i think, "croptop" jacket spoke from saints-blade, snail terrain from navy-leader, tv ashswag from kish, sock puppet red definitely from someone i dont remember, 4 armed squiddo from seri, and old cartoon jaron was from bucket

Things that happened/istarted talking about cultural inspirations

spoke and his connection to godhood influenced his redesign greatly. this section affects what the character wears most of the time.

i give both spoke and vitalasy painted palms (alta) due to their connection with godhood and destruction, with spoke in particular reminding me a lot of Kali Ma, thus i gave him a skirt (due to nppp too). vitalasy's clothing is based on Indonesian cultural clothing. wemmbu's also takes inspiration from Indonesian and Bhutan cultural clothing.

indigenous cultures inspired some designs too (i do a lot of ethnographic anthropology work with some of the tribes i base the clothing off of), with woogie having Yupik and Inuit inspiration. polar bear = cold climate in my head. and leo has Haida and Yunnan (minority Chinese providence, not a tribe) inspiration.

bacon's... not bacon strip design's clothing was based on Bangladeshi clothing (im Bangladeshi, i also added alpona patterns to ash's design), nomadic cultures, and some german pilgrim thing?? idk not my best design. i specifically looked for nomadic inspiration because of his willingness to flee at any moment lol. i didnt do this for rek despite his fleeing reputation because i dont watch rek content too much and he already had hybrid traits that took care of that presentation.

poafa's design is a goat because of the medusa trials where he was used as a scapegoat. makes sense i think. his horns are from past associations with jepex that infected mapicc as well (devil trio s1). zam's design is very much from s3 empire and s4 castle.

planet's design changed slightly, mostly rounder shapes, but also the number of "spikes" on his scarf, now stuck at three because of 3ht.. and easier to draw than five. minutetech has a bow instead of a bowtie from jumper due to s5 happenings. the gem on his crown has wemmbu's highlights from his gem's main color.

roshambo's design was also heavily influenced by medusa where i gave him a snake body. in my art that depicts before medusa events he doesn't have the snake body, and same goes with before s4 spoke where i draw him with full pants. in some sketches ive depicted mapicc with a muzzle only after the destruction of s4 spawn due to quix's mapicc dog influence shoutout.

mapicc and ro have matching things that persist seasons (mapicc periwinkle collar, ro red painted ring finger... head finger?), as did subz and vitalasy with matching shoulder pads (beginning of s4 subz had a bandana and vitalasy had a bell that traded between them through artworks of mine) Vitalasy also gained sun and moon earrings. mid and 4c have matching hoods/cloaks ^_^ marriage or something.

hope this made sense and covered everything you could have ever wanted forever... feel free to ask me questions i love explaining processes

[nomsfaultau]

thank you so much for writing mandatory family reunion. i just reread it for the eighth time. i think im going to dedicate my life to life to reading your other sbi fics until you update again. also; do you have any tips for committing to fics and not leaving them half-finished?

ahhhh that’s so sweet glad you enjoyed! As for writing fics, having it be your special interest really helps. But for more general advice on finishing:

-Don’t stick to just one story. Which seems counter intuitive! But inevitably you’re going to hit a snag in one story. So instead of stopping writing at all, switch projects. Writing involves a whole bunch of thinking, and stuff needs time to percolate in the back of your head. But having a small project to work on in the mean time keeps you engaged in the writing process, gives you practice, makes you feel like you’re making progress, and allows time to work out the other story. I personally have 1-2 main projects, Fault and MFR, and then rotate a couple back burner stories that I work on whenever I get inspiration and fully expect to have very slow progress and possibly never finish. Short stories, one shots, hell even just writing little one off scenes that don’t go anywhere. It’s a way to keep writing fun and thus you’re more likely to continue working on the stuff you’re trying to complete. Don’t feel bad if there’s breaks between working on your main project. Writing involves a lot of thinking and it takes time to do that.

-Devoting time to do that thinking also significantly helps. When you’re falling asleep can be a good time to rotate stories in your head. Could also be if you’re walking from place to place, or brushing your teeth, or other little gaps in the day. Even if you’re not physically writing, it’s still part of the process and can make it easier when you actually sit down to write because you know what scene you’re most excited to work on. Also, talking over your story idea with a friend is a great way to stay motivated if you can get over the mortifying ordeal of being known. You can bounce ideas off them, and other people’s investment in a project can be a great motivator to finish. Like legit a single ao3 comment once stopped me from my plan to abandon a fic. Reminding yourself why you (and other people) like the story makes it easier to want to continue.

-Keeping a rough outline of what you envision for the story can give you a road map to how close to done you are and where to go next. Just like you can hop between projects, I find jumping around the plot time line to write what scene I’m most interested in atm keeps me going instead of writing everything in order. Though, all writers have different degrees of plot planning, so that depends on your style.

-Art! I’m an artist, and while writing definitely fuels what I draw, I find doodling cool scenes I want to write really inspires me to keep going. This sorta falls under the same category of continuing to think about the story and motivating you to finish. -I found keeping a writing journal has improved how I view my writing. Basically, I’ll jot down a bullet point list of scenes worked on that week/month. Writing is a very slow process, so seeing a timeline of actual progression on a story makes it feel like I’m actually getting more out of my head and onto paper. I also jot down what ideas for scenes I came up with since that’s also part of writing, and might include a chill no stakes writing goal for that period, like work on X or Y project, or a particular scene. Sometimes my goal is just ‘write at least one sentence’. I give it lots of leeway, and accept that the muse may just be somewhere else that week. And if the goal isn’t met, no sweat! Life can get busy at times and it’s more important that you aren’t beating yourself up if it’s been awhile since you last touched a project. Forcing yourself to write a scene that isn’t ready won’t result in a good scene or an happy writer. Switch projects, give yourself time to think about it, take care of yourself, etc.

And, legitimately, don’t be afraid to abandon a piece. Maybe you’ll come back to it, maybe you won’t. It can feel disheartening to feel like you can’t seem to finish a project, but unfinished pieces also do a lot for you: they hone your craft, allow you a creative outlet, give you scenes that could potentially be reworked for later pieces, and most importantly were hopefully fun to write! Story crafting is a hobby that should bring you joy, not frustration and shame.

Like, I have stories that will never see the light of day and are just so I can have fun and poke it with a stick occasionally. I’m 100% confident in saying that every author will have tenfold the number of unfinished wips compared to complete works. That’s just part of the creative process: exploring different worlds to find the one you want to write.

Perhaps a fic might never get finished, but in the wise words of Technoblade: “if you enjoy it, it’s not time wasted, no?”

(Now, I think he was talking about murdering people, but the point still stands.)

[piedpiperart]

Phantom in Gotham 4

Chapter 3

Danny wasn't sure if he had told Red Hood too much or not last night. Did he need to know about the ghost zone? Probably not, but Danny knew what it felt like to not have anyone guide him on the development of his ghost powers. Danny felt a sort of bond with the Hood. They were similar in the way that they'd sort of come back to life with a bunch of unexplained changes with no idea about the whole ghost community they were now a part of. Though, Danny guessed Red Hood wasn’t really a part of it anymore, but still. Stuff like that can be hard to adjust from, and having someone talk them through it is helpful.

How long had the Red Hood been living with contaminated ectoplasm? Danny thought, shuddering. He at least hoped the guy would feel a bit better now that the rage was gone. Even Danny had trouble controlling the Ring of Rage, he wasn't sure how a regular human could deal with that kind of anger on a normal basis. A thought came to him about how Red Hood killed a bunch of criminals in the news he’d seen a while ago, and then it kind of made sense. 

Danny sighed, laying his head down on his desk for a nap. He'd snuck into the school early to take a nap at his desk before classes started, like he usually did. It was better than sleeping in the pizzaria for sure, even if he didn't have anything comfy to lay on. At least he never got cold, he thought.

Danny was a little glad he was able to talk to Red Hood about the GIW, considering the guy was more of an anti-hero and less likely to follow the government's orders. He hoped the guy might be able to investigate a bit, or help him in case Danny ever got captured by Agent K or his parents. Again. Danny wasn't so sure anything would come of it, but he figured someone with ectoplasm contamination should at least be aware of it in case he put himself on the GIW's radar. Danny shivered at the thought, pulling out his homework instead to focus on something other than experiments on his ghost friends and himself.

By the time people started shuffling into their seats, Danny was doodling designs for ghost gear. Like the Specter Detector, he wanted to reverse it to hide a ghost's signature instead. He and Ellie would be able to hide from the GIW and any ghost-weapons that relied on those kinds of sensors. Since he was in Gotham, the GIW's scanners back in Amity wouldn't reach him. Probably. He'd be out of their range, or at least he hoped so, for the time being. If he went back to Amity, having a way to hide his ectoplasmic signature would come in handy.

Danny perked up from what he was designing when Tim practically fell into the seat next to him, nearly spilling his coffee. "Dude, you okay?"

"Long night,"Tim grumbled, rubbing his eye. He looked over at Danny with poorly concealed concern. "You okay?"

"Yep!" Danny beamed back at him, yet Tim could tell his eyes were full of something like anxious nerves and a bit of hope and fear about his interactions with Red Hood last night. "I'm more worried about you, did you even get any sleep last night?"

"Few hours,"Tim said, sipping his coffee. "Was just working on a project. Oh." Tim stopped, looking at Danny with tired eyes. "What's that you're working on?"

Danny blinked, looking down at his notebook. "Oh, nothing important. Just designing an invention I was thinking of."

Tim made grabby hands for his notebook and Danny stifled a laugh but handed it over. Nothing on it specifically mentioned ghosts, so he figured it wouldn't arouse any kind of suspicion. "This is pretty advanced." Tim said, scanning over the blueprints. He squinted at Danny. "Why the interest in hiding energy signatures?"

"U-uh,"Danny stammered, "My... parents, are inventors. Just sort of picked up a few things from them. It was just an idea I had." Danny waved off, and accepted the notebook back from Tim.

"Really? What sort of stuff were your parent's working on?"Tim asked, genuinely curious.

"They made pretty much everything,"Danny breathed out a laugh, "Like, from electrified nets to toasters that shoot lasers for home defense kind of things, so they weren’t taken seriously very often.”

"Huh,"Tim thought, sipping his coffee in thought.”What are they working on now?”

“I’m not really sure, I don’t live with them anymore.” Danny said, turning back to his desk. He rubbed at his chest absentmindedly, feeling phantom pains from the scars his parents gave him. Tim narrowed his eyes at the answer, but figured he just didn't want to talk about it. He stared into his cup of coffee, thinking absently of how many hours of sleep he got the night before and if that was affecting his ability to communicate. He had the sudden urge to bring up ghosts but pushed that down.  

“I don’t live with my parents anymore either,”Tim offered, and Danny gave him a sympathetic smile. 

“Adopted? I heard a little bit about the Waynes, but I didn’t want to pry,”Danny asked. “My friend Tucker is obsessed with Wayne Tech.” And he was pretty sure Sam had kept track of their environmental progress, but he didn’t know much about that since she usually just ended up talking about Poison Ivy. 

“Yeah,”Tim inclined his head. He thought about what Dick had told him about Danny and fought to keep a frown off his face. “What about you? Who do you live with now?”

“Uh, just me right now,” Danny winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “My sister helped me get an apartment around here to stay in while I go to school.”

Tim frowned. He’d forgotten about Danny’s two sisters. One was in college, and the other one seemed younger. Was she still staying with Danny’s parents? Why was Danny lying about the apartment? “Oh yeah? Why’d you choose Gotham Prep?”

This made Danny light up.”I wasn’t really paying attention when my sister explained it to me, but I can see now why she wanted me to go here. The astrology and science programs are the best- way better than back home. My old school was a lot smaller and underfunded, but we only had one class of twenty or less per grade. Gotham Prep is just- huge.”

“What school did you go to before?” Tim pressed. He could look into a school without using the batcomputer. 

To Tim’s dismay, Danny waved him off. “You wouldn’t have heard of it. Small town, you know? We didn’t even have to wear uniforms.” Danny added, tugging at the collar of his own with a wince. 

“You’ll get used to it,”Tim laughed. Or so he thought. Tim was used to it, but as far as he could tell Jason never liked the uniforms. Dick maybe, but still. 

“I hope not,”Danny grumbled, making Tim smile. “So what’d you choose for the chemistry project? I have to say, physics and mechanics are more my expertise.”

“Yeah, I finished it this morning,”Tim said absently. He was running through their conversation and making notes on the potential red flags. Knowing Danny, there had to be a reason why he was practically homeless yet attended a private school. Not to mention what his sisters were up to. Tim had a suspicion that his older sister was involved a lot more than the parents were. “I chose kryptonium.”

“Huh,” Danny nodded, resting his chin on his hand. “I chose Aluminum. It’s good for a lot of mechanical engineering.” Danny let out a breath, mumbling,”And since ectoranuim hasn’t been discovered by the whole world yet,” under his breath. 

Tim squinted,”What?”

“Nothin, just lamenting the lack of knowledge we have for other possible elements in different realms or on different planets,”Danny explained, then started a rant to cover up anything about ectoranium.”Like Kryptonium, basically. Who knows what other things are out in space. There could be a bazillion undiscovered elements out there.”

“I’m pretty sure the Justice League is responsible for at least 8 new elements,”Tim nodded. Not mentioning the ones they kept under wraps from the general public. 

“Yeah, but you never know what the government is hiding,”Danny scowled. He looked like he genuinely disliked the government, which, Tim could agree they weren’t great on the best of days. Especially since he found out about the anti-ecto-acts that affected Jason and Phantom. 

“Woah, what do you have against the government?” Tim laughed. Danny only scowled more. 

“I think they get away with too much. Easily corrupted. You know, the usual,” Danny scoffed. “Not like I’m a conspiracy theorist, but still.”

‘What, you think they have some sort of Area 51?” Tim asked. Of course, Tim knew exactly what was in Area 51, but he wasn’t going to say anything. 

“Maybe not, but something like it, sure.” Danny said, taking a breath. He turned to face Tim with what looked like false cheer. “Why, don’t you believe in cryptids? I mean, if aliens exist, why not?”

“Like ghosts and stuff?” Tim smiled. “Yeah, I believe in ghosts. We should go to a haunted house sometime.”

“Wha- you believe in ghosts?” Danny laughed. Tim smiled softly at the sound. He couldn’t remember the last time Danny had laughed. It was nice. 

“You don’t?” Tim raised an eyebrow at him, amused. 

“Yeah no. Bigfoot’s probably real though,”Danny nodded. Tim couldn’t help but notice the way Danny’s bangs fell in front of his eyes, and had the urge to brush them away himself. He had a sudden flashback to Dick’s sly smile when mentioning Danny and felt heat on his cheeks.  “My goal in life is to meet Mothman.”

“I thought your goal in life was to go to space,”Tim shook his head fondly, trying to dislodge the sudden gay thoughts that overtook his mind for a moment. Maybe he needed more sleep, he thought.

“Okay, my goals are to go to space and meet mothman,” Danny relented. He glanced at Tim with a glint in his eye before adding,”You think I’ll find Mothman in space?”

“Wh- no, why would Mothman be in space? Wasn’t he seen in the middle of the US?”

“Maybe Mothman is from space. Might be more of him out there. I could be the one to finally bring him home, where he belongs.”

“Danny no.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t launch Mothman into space?”

“I wouldn’t trust you to be launching anything into space, much less a person.”

chapter 5

[maxdreavus]

Snip! | Piers x OC Maxine

Rating: Teen+ (Cursing)

Summary: It had been about 15 years since Max's haircut. Given it now threatened to brush her ankles, she wanted to change that.

She went into this mission with intentions to chop off a foot or two, but wound up with a shaggy, uneven mess that desperately needed saving. Luckily, Piers was more than willing to help.

(Or, how Max's hair got to how it looks now ^^)

Author’s note: This is part of a series of one-shots! Please see my SWSH Masterlist for the recommended reading order.

Give it some love on ao3!

“It can’t be that bad.”

Max sniffed and wiped her tear-stained face on her forearm. She was surrounded by chopped up chunks of hair, all from her own head, which looked… well… 

“It’s like if a toddler took a pair of squiggly crafting scissors to my hair and went crazy.”

“Now how’d you manage that?”

“I dunno, I’ve never cut hair before! I didn’t think it could be that hard.”

“Well,” Piers sighed, holding back a laugh, “I’ll see what I can do when I get home, yeah?”

“Or I could shave my head.”

“You’ll be the shiniest egg in all of Galar.” Piers was happy to hear some wet laughter on the other end — a welcome change from the quiet sobs he’d been hearing prior. “Seriously, though. I’ll fix you up, alright little ghost?”

A deep sigh racked through Max as she rested her head against the cool tile wall behind her. “’Kay, fine.“ 

She had the apartment to herself for a majority of the week, seeing that Piers was touring a Galar for all of it, while Marnie had been visiting and camping with some friends for the latter four days.

And Max loved to be alone. 

She could sing — something she enjoyed but was too shy to ever do within hearing range of others:

One time, Piers had heard her singing softly to herself in her room while she doodled in an old, beaten up notebook she rarely used, and she was horrified when he joined in from the opposite side of the wall. Couldn’t even bring herself to talk to him for most of that day.

He thought her voice was lovely. It wasn’t the idea of her singing badly that mattered, though. It just felt weird to be heard and she didn’t like it and never wanted that to happen ever again ever. She couldn’t explain why, even to herself.

Alone, Max could also get a bunch of chores done without interruptions or distractions:

She was able to clean the kitchen without someone else coming in and needing to use it. Mop the floor without worrying that someone would emerge from their room and slip and hurt themself. She had the freedom to choose meals for herself, and only herself. She enjoyed cooking for the others, and having them cook for her, too — a lot, actually. But sometimes she just wanted to whip up a sandwich, or a mediocre rice cooker curry, or anything small and quick, and call it a day.

Most importantly, though, Max could happily laze about when she was by herself. Being disabled mentally meant needing a lot of time alone and in a safe space to recoup from her interactions, at work and otherwise; being disabled physically, on the other hand, meant she’d never pass up the opportunity to be really, truly cozy and pain-free. 

Piers and Marnie knew that, and they never made her feel bad or judged her for it. In fact, the two did their best to support her. Always. Piers was her rock, and now that Marnie had grown into a tween, she was becoming one too. A pebble, if you will.

Unfortunately, Max still couldn’t help but feel a sense of shame for her needs. Being ridiculed as a little kid for her ineptitude in things her older and more abled siblings could easily do had taken a permanent toll on her; and because of that, she found it hard to spend most of her time laying down when other people were around to see it.

With all of that being said, though, without her roommates around to keep the monotonous of daily life a little more exciting, Max had grown dreadfully bored… which led her to her current situation. 

The trainer just wanted to end her staycation with a bang. She hadn’t had her hair cut since she was eight or nine, and being in her early-mid 20s now, it was a change she thought it was time to make.

How hard could it be? she had wondered to herself less than an hour prior, tying her meter-or-more of hair in front of her torso and chopping away after watching a single PokeTube tutorial. 

I can fix this, she’d thought to herself on several occasions in the process, each time feeling less confident and more panicked. 

She knew her brown tresses leached into pink when they were cut, but she had no idea of the rate in which it would happen, and failed to consider it going into this project. Her body hair never grew beyond a short stubble, and said stubble was always pink because of how well she kept up with her shaving routine. 

She had no idea what to expect from her longer strands, and was immediately overwhelmed upon discovering that the color shift was nearly instant. 

So, Max kept snipping, and snipping, and crying, and snipping some more, staring at her reflection in horror while she tried over and over again to save herself. After one particularly uneven cut, Max tossed her scissors aside and plopped down onto the bathroom floor. It was around then that Piers had called her.

Upon hanging up, she sat with her chin on her knees and her knees tucked close to her chest, her misdreavus snuggled up to her side. Typically when Max did anything with her hair, the mischievous little pokemon would try to interfere — to chew on it, to play with it, to tug it just to annoy its human for fun. This time, it resisted the immense urge to have a field day with all the scrapped hair on the ground and did its best to be another rock in Max’s cozy little garden instead, offering some comforting sentiments in the form of chirps and nuzzles.

Since it was about two in the morning, Max didn’t need to worry about leaving the apartment in her current state. She at least had that to ease her mind a bit. Piers was due home by the afternoon, which meant she’d hopefully look more normal before needing to run any errands again.

What she didn’t know was that Piers had been on his way back long before calling her. His final show finished up right on time, and he was able to dodge his fans well enough to make it to the tour bus and start the trek to Spikemuth right away. He only stopped about an hour into the drive to freshen up with a quick shower in the tiny onboard bathroom. 

Piers missed his city, he missed his bed, and most importantly, he missed Max; and, knowing she was bored and lonely for the past day or two, Piers figured his early arrival would be a pleasant surprise for her. His assumption was only solidified by their most recent conversation.

The girl in question had only just begun sweeping up the remnants of her massacre when Piers made it back, having spent a long time sulking before she stood back up. She was lost in the sound of her music playing and the light scraping of bristles against the ground when a baritone “Boo” snapped her out of it.

Clamping her eyes shut and squeaking out a short scream, Max swung her broom at the door, convinced that a stranger had broken in. When the visitor caught the weapon and pulled it towards them, she felt her stomach leap to her throat.

This is it, she thought. Of course I have to die with a fuckass haircut.

Upon hearing Piers’ laugh, smelling his signature scent of musky cologne with a whisper of cigarettes, and feeling his long arms wrap around her, though, Max gasped and latched onto her “intruder,” nuzzling her face into his chest.

“Dickhead,” she mumbled against him.

“I’m hurt.”

“Like hell you are.”

Piers chuckled again, and Max sighed, pressing her cheek to the reverberation of his chest. She missed him so much.

She needed this.

She needed him.

After a short silence, the man took a strand of Max’s hair between his fingers and observed, “You weren’t kidding, huh?”

“I did my best…”

Amused, Piers huffed one last time before detaching. “One sec.”

After changing into something cozier — a blue, cropped muscle tank and pink pajama pants — Piers retrieved a stool from their makeshift dining table, plopped it in the center of the small room, and patted it. As Max sat down and fiddled with the hem of her own blue tee, Piers gently combed through what remained of her tresses.

To fix this, he’d have to cut her hair short. The furthest her damage went was close to her shoulders, if not a little higher than them. Seeing his friend’s hair like this was already strange, considering he’d only ever known her to have hair that was — at its shortest — reaching her butt. He could hardly imagine what she’d look like in the coming moments.

“What length were you aiming for?”

Max shrugged, ignoring her nerves as Piers began cutting. “Mid-back, maybe.” She peeked up at him in the mirror and winced in response to his grimace. “I know it’s a lost cause.”

“At least it’ll grow back,” he reassured her. “Who knows, maybe you’ll like it short.”

“Shaving is still an option if I don't.”

“Alright, dramatic.”

The two fell quiet, Max basking in the feeling of Piers’ fingers in her hair; in the way he’d occasionally and softly ask her to tilt her head a certain way, or hum along to whatever song was playing from her phone. She nearly dozed off as comfort washed over her until Piers got close to her ear, whispered, “Almost there, love,” and gave her shoulder a light squeeze. 

That woke her right up.

By the time he was finished, the man had successfully cut Max’s hair to just above her shoulders, forming it into a shallow u-shape rather than a blunt bob. And as much as he’d adored her absurdly long hair, he loved how this looked.

It was more fitting. As if she looked more like herself, somehow. Without the weight of the long locks that came close to rivaling her height, Max looked fluffier. Scruffier, but in a good way. The pink of her hair stood out more and complemented her skin’s rosy undertones, making her look just a little less washed out, too.

But it still felt like something was missing…

Max had yet to see what her new length looked like, a little too nervous to look in the mirror just yet while Piers scrutinized his work. When he wrapped back around to her front and played with some of the strands near her sideburns, she grew worried that he didn’t like it. He cut his own hair, as well as Marnie’s, so Max knew she could trust him to cut hers; but there was a pit of doubt in her stomach as she prepared for whatever criticism he was about to bring.

That is, until he asked, “Can I try something?”

The fact that he still wanted to experiment gave her some hope. “Depends,” she answered, shyly meeting his gaze. 

Piers inspected Max’s face a little more, trying his best not to swoon too much at the way she looked up at him, eyes curious and lips slightly pouty. 

Focus. 

After a beat, he murmured, “You’d look fuckin’ adorable with a fringe.” It was just as much of an observation as it was a suggestion.

Max wasn’t new to his compliments, but it didn’t mean they didn’t still fluster her every time. Her eyes widened and cheeks reddened as she froze for a moment, both absorbing his praise into her heart and taking his words into consideration.

I mean, if he thinks it would look good on me…

Max gave Piers a curt nod — his sign to go for it. 

She was reminded that, despite having hugged, kissed, and cuddled plenty, close proximity with him still frazzled her just as much as it comforted. Her cheeks felt like they had been breathed on by a charizard as Piers crouched down for a better view, holding her face in his palms for a moment before creating the part where her new bangs would go. 

She swiftly averted her line of vision, avoiding his eyes and missing the way he reactively smiled at the color on her cheeks.

Another few moments went by, and Piers had completely transformed her. As he put the scissors down and gave Max one last combing, he said, “Go on. Have a look,” with a gentle upward curl on his lips.

Fidgeting with her nails, Max muttered, “I’m scared.” And she was. Change was hard for her. Even though she felt this could be a positive change, it was still something new nonetheless. 

“Hey,” he tilted Max’s chin up with the comb in his hand, forcing her to meet his eyes and her tummy to flutter. “You look really fucking good like this.”

His sincerity could have killed her. 

With a deep breath through her nose and her teeth digging into her bottom lip, she nodded, before swiveling herself towards the mirror.

She was taken aback for a moment. Max barely recognized herself, and yet — similarly to Piers — she thought it suited her way better than her old style. 

She reached up and ran her fingers through her loose waves, which felt softer than they had in ages. It all looked thicker too, for better or worse. She shook her head to test how it felt, and couldn’t help but grin at its newfound weightlessness.

“How did you even do that?” Max muttered, looking at Piers through the mirror while she krabby-handed with both thumbs and pointers.

While she spoke, he placed himself behind her and leaned forward, his palms resting on the sink on either side of her and his chin planted atop her scalp. Between the excitement of her new look and this proximity, the stim was necessary. 

“Witchcraft.”

“Misdreavus never evolved,” Max pointed out, “who would you have learned that from?”

“I have contacts.”

Max tilted her head back against Piers’ chest, looking up at him and sending a jolt to his heart this time. “What you really have is something on your face.”

“What?”

Max reached up and squished his nostrils together, his button nose becoming a thin line in her grasp. She snort-laughed as her hand was swatted away, then began cackling and kicking when Piers lifted her off the ground, carrying her out of the room and placing her in the center of their tiny kitchen. 

“What are you—“

“Make us some tea, yeah?” Max’s transport asked while he walked backwards towards the hall.

She barked out a laugh. “Make it yourself!” 

“I’ll be too busy cleaning your hair.”

“Why don’t you make the tea and I clean the hair, then?”

“Gotta piss,” he shouted through the closing bathroom door, “two corviknights, one tinkaton, or whatever.”

“You suck.” Despite her words, Max happily got to work on their drinks.

When their tea was made and the bathroom had been cleaned, the pair curled up on the couch and caught up with each other. They’d been in touch for most of the week, so there wasn’t much to be said; but they valued moments like this, and neither of the two wanted the night to end yet. Their time apart was the perfect excuse for that.

Eventually, Piers rested his head in Max’s lap. And eventually, Max found her digits weaving through his hair, braiding tiny sections, twirling it around her fingers… 

While she mourned her own hair to a certain degree, at least she had his to play with.

[tazienimp]

Words we wish we could say

Mephiles: It was never supposed to be like this

Crystal: I know

Mephiles: I'm sorry

Crystal: I forgive you. Maybe not for everything, but i forgive you.

Mephiles: I love you

Crystal: I love you too.

Crystal and Amethyst, together: We always did

These words will forever go unspoken between them. Mephiles is unable to say he's sorry, and Crystal hates to admit, that after everything her father has done, that she'd forgive him no matter what, at least enough that she can't hate him.

This is directly after this interaction.

After the Shadow Virus was over, after Ames tried and failed to take over her sister's body and the world, after Mephiles discovered both his daughters were technically still alive, after his actions indirectly pushed them into the hardest moments of their lives, after everything, Crystal still couldn't stop herself from running into her dad's arms after their fight. And the words were right there, but none of them could say them.

But they still felt them.

Big big vent under the cut, i just need to ramble, I'm so sorry. Minimal tagging on this post specifically for this reason.

Sorry if it's kinda shit, i haven't drawn Ames in over a year, and i haven't drawn Crys in a hot minute either. I also think my artstyle's changing again, and i wish it would stop that, but it happens. It's also like, almost 3 am and i drew this without even putting my glasses on. It's been a really hard week, and my session yesterday was pretty difficult. I got home and passed out, but then woke up tonight and couldn't go back to sleep, so i figured I'd go ahead and get this off my chest.

It's been really hard to hold myself together these past few weeks. And every project I've been teasing lately, i need to push it back. They'll happen when they happen, I'm tired of fighting them when i can barely function. So, i don't know when those'll happen. I'm just really tired. The biggest hurdle has been, my brain has been wanting to just give up drawing permanently, for a while now. Every day its like, well what if i just... stop. Yanno? My upload schedule is already nonexistent, it's not like it'll be missed, but at the same time it's difficult to put my au to rest. So i don't know what to do, and I've already promised so much stuff to come out to a bunch of my friends, and i just can't get myself to finish any of it rn, and i don't know why. I'm so so so sorry. Specifically to @jadedazemations , i still really wanna draw your boys, and I'm so sorry i haven't been able to contribute to the crossover myself when your doodles have been so cool and i think about them all the time and our convos about them have meant everything to me and continue to do so, and i can't get myself to match your pace and I'm so so so so sorry if ever i made you feel unappreciated or like you were doing so much work for so little in return.

I'm not scrapping the wips, of course, cause i know I'll be able to get back to them at some point, and most of them are like 60% done lineart wise, if not partially colored already, so it's likely I'll finish them someday, i just don't know when, and i know that's super disappointing to hear and I'm so sorry for everyone waiting so patiently for them. I'm so sorry, you guys are my entire world and i feel like i give you all so little in return for all the happiness you give me.

I'll still be posting any art i manage to get out, I'm not quitting just yet.

Also not posting any of this lil blurb to Deviantart when i post this piece there btw, this is something I'm keeping here, but, yeah. I love you all, more than you know, and again I am so so so sorry.

Edit: God fucking dammit Mephy. Anyways so i fixed the pic order, I'm usually better about catching that

[artimeanatheart]

Aaron Character Analysis-Book Four Part Two

Now that I've talked about Eva, it's time to get back to my regularly scheduled Aaron content. He actually plays a much bigger role in this book than in book three, which means that there's more for me to talk about!

Beginnings and Endings

Aaron has a couple of 'lasts' in this book. He starts the book with his last interaction with Alex pre-redemption arc and ends the book with his last interaction with Eva pre-redemption arc.

"They [the ships] were headed to Artime. For a rare moment, Aaron felt a pang of compassion. And for the briefest time, he actually thought, perhaps I should help them. But the moment passed quickly and Aaron realized that his first order of business was to protect Quill. He would close up the space in the wall and build a barricade in front of the entrance to Artime."

Let's start with Alex's confrontation with him.  This is actually the last time the two of them see each other prior to their reunion in book six.  There's almost two whole books between when they interact, and there's a lot of growth for both of them in between.  Keeping this last interaction in mind, it's easy to see why Alex doesn't trust Aaron one bit at their reunion.  Artime decided to protect Quill against Warbler if it came down to it, and Aaron decided that Quill would never help Artime and leave it to fight it's own battles. He was close to being willing to work together at the end of the last book, but then he remembered that Artime is capable of defending itself and doing the work of defending Quill without Aaron having to lift a finger.

"Alex worked his jaw. 'When you come to regret this, remember that you sealed your own fate-literally. If you wall off all access, it will be for forever if I have anything to say about it.' He pulled himself up to his full height. 'You want to cut all ties? That's completely fine with me. I don't need you in my life-you're just a cowardly, annoying fly buzzing about, being worthless.' He went on, growing more stubborn and reckless by the minute. 'But make no mistake. If you do it, Artime will never, ever help you again. Never.' 'As if I need help from a bunch of Unwanted losers.' Alex glared at his brother. He glanced at the drawing on Aaron's desk and shook his head, disgusted. 'You could have been one of us.' 'Death would have been a better option.'"

When Alex confronts him, he comes upon Aaron doodling to help himself think while still denying his creativity.  This is the moment that convinces Alex that Aaron will never join his side. Alex is ready to sever ties and never see his brother again. Aaron is ready to completely wall off Artime. Interestingly enough, neither of them actually follow through. It takes Alex until the beginning of book six to recognize that Aaron can't be saved and leave behind any attachment to him (yes, I'm aware of the irony). And Aaron never extends the wall to close off Artime, which is kind of symbolic, in retrospect. Aaron never could fully shut down the creative part of himself.

"The High Priest Aaron, straining for breath as he stared at the gray ceiling of his office, muttered, 'Well, I suppose I deserved that.'"

We also get another hint here that Aaron actually feels a little bad for how he's hurt Alex.  Alex punches him (2 for 2!) and afterwards he says that he guesses he deserved it. He did deserve it, but it's interesting that he's aware that he deserved it. Aaron has this sense of self-awareness that becomes especially pronounced later in the series, but that is still present this early on. But I'll talk about that more on my next post.

"He also needed to put aside his thoughts about what he'd just done to Secretary. He could hardly believe he'd done it. But she had crossed the line so many times, and Aaron had been too lenient with her. He'd let it go too far, hadn't he? Once the insults began, there was nothing else he could do, no matter how she pleaded. She was dead wrong, and she wouldn't stop bugging him with her wrongness. It's not like she didn't know she was over the line. More than once. But Secretary was useful. And perhaps, deep down, Aaron was a tiny bit fond of her."

Anyways, almost the entire book passes and then he has his last interaction with Eva.  He's just so. . .cold and detached in this scene.  He actually does care about Eva, in some way.  There's a reason he's kept her around, even though he doesn't fully trust her, and I don't think it's just because Justine liked her.  But in this scene she pushes just the right buttons to get him to send her to the Ancients Sector. We know that Aaron terrified of losing power.  He can't have people disrespecting him.  And. . .he also knows that she's right.  That he should wait before attacking Artime.  He's not ready.  Quill isn't ready.  But he feels like he has to be right.  He has to be right that Quillens are better than Artimeans.  That he's better than the Unwanteds, better than Alex.  And she's threatening that.  So she has to go. 

Aaron held her gaze for a long moment. And then he looked at the guards who stood at the portcullis. 'Guards,' he said, wincing and clutching at his [injured] shoulder, 'take her to the Ancients Sector.' Eva's heart froze. 'What?' Aaron didn't look at her. 'Get busy!' he barked. The guards jumped to attention, grabbing Eva Fathom by the arms. 'No!' Eva cried out. 'Aaron, no!' But Aaron Stowe, High Priest of Quill, turned away from her pleas and continued walking through the open gate toward Haluki's house."

However, we don't really see Aaron's side of things in the scene, as it's mostly from Eva's POV. She is devastated and desperate and afraid and sad that she'll never get to reconcile with her daughter.  She'll never get to see her grandson grow up.  So she does the only thing she can think of to help her feel better and goes to Artime, not knowing that Aaron has decided to spring her from the Ancients Sector.  And she sacrifices her life to save the children that Aaron doomed. Considering that this is her last memory of Aaron, of course she doesn't forgive him when they meet again in the afterlife.

[softsky-daily]

4/13/2025

Vast and endless blue.

Positive thing: I got lots of things done and maintained a good mood all day.

Sleeping in multiple days in a row really works wonders, truly. I woke up and it was like one of those Disney princess scenes where the birds fly in and there's a breeze in your hair and the sun is shining perfectly. I finally had the time and energy to throw away some boxes that had been clogging up my room, I donated the bags of clothes that had also been sitting for about a month, I bought more soap and rice and got my car washed, I had a fruit tea, it was glorious. Conversation Table went well too. I even doodled stuff since I was in such a good mood. And also because OHSHC is still running circles in my mind, but anyway.

It had been a while since I got my car washed. I've had bad luck where every time I finally have some time to try to go to the car wash, I get there and it's out of order. But today my luck changed and the one nearby was actually working for once, so my poor car finally got some TLC. She's been dusty for a hot minute. I also enjoyed watching all the soap and water dance around my windshield.

Ever since I was little I was fascinated with the soap colors. They're very nostalgic to me now.

I also had fun looking for regular hand soap. Our bathroom is Pochacco themed, and most of our decor is blue, so I try to find soap that matches. As a result I've gotten pretty attached to blue soap. I wandered around Bath and Body Works admiring all the different soap names and scent notes. I always wonder how they come up with them. Some of the notes are straightforward sounding, like flowers or citrus, but other times they throw in a "sapphire opalite" or whatever and a big question mark forms over my head.

In terms of the upcoming week, I need to get a move on with my grad portfolio. It's also my last week of internship, and the last week of normal class. Everything is moving so fast and it doesn't feel real. I feel like I need to start solidifying post-grad plans too. Bwah. Can't I just hibernate and not do anything until it's over... I'll take my diploma and then curl up in bed, thanks.

Oh yeah and internship has been slowly falling apart because of shitty new management, and case in point, the manager messaged me to finish a bunch of progress notes where half of them weren't even designated as my responsibility. And the other half I swear I already did? She doesn't even remember my name or thank me or acknowledge me, and I'm not even getting paid for this, plus it's my last week. So honestly I've been tempted to just figure out the business-appropriate way to say "fuck off until you actually start treating your patients and employees like human beings, also learn my name before you ask me to do anything" and then vibe with our patients and let her flounder. I would feel bad since notes that don't get done end up the other therapists' responsibility, but I already heard they're threatening to quit, so lol. lmao even. The manager can learn the hard way that she needs to get her act together or the turnover rate is going to continue to get worse.

But anyway. Life continues to life. Maybe I was in such a good mood this past weekend because our other roommate was out. And all the background stress went away... sigh. I hate saying that someone's very presence is stress inducing, but it's just the truth at this point. I'll keep holding out hope for a maintained peace one of these days.

[adapembroke]

Psyche in the Underworld: Asteroid Psyche Conjunct Pluto

When we tell mythological stories, we always speak in the past tense, as if the story is something that already happened. We know that myths aren’t true. They aren’t describing events from the past, but we’re used to hearing stories about things that happened before, so when we tell mythological stories, we place them in before, too.

There is a sense in which this is necessary. If you’ve ever read a story written in the present tense, you know how wrong it feels. We seem to be equipped with a visceral sense that it’s impossible to live an event and tell the tale about it at the same time.

But the comfort we feel with the past tense telling of myths hides an uncomfortable truth: Myths are not stories from before. They exist outside of time in the “always now,” or the Timeless Country, as I call it in my book The Gods of Time Are Dead.

We are creatures of time. We can understand the concept of no-time, but we can’t experience a timeless way of being any more than a 2D doodle creature is capable of experiencing a sphere. The closest we can get to understanding timelessness is a cycle, events that play over and over like an endlessly repeating playlist. Play the cycle fast enough, and the events kind of blur together, but everything still happens in a sequence, so we never really escape chronological time.

That endless playlist of mythological stories is one of the things that astrology models through the movements of the planets. As Venus, the Mesopotamian goddess Inanna goes to the underworld and returns endlessly. The sun of the Egyptians is born and dies and reborn again. The Greek goddess Persephone cycles between her lives as the Maiden Goddess of Flowers and the Queen of the Dead.

Psyche’s Descent Into the Underworld

One of the cyclical stories you can watch unfolding in the sky is the myth of Cupid and Psyche. There are asteroids for both of the lead characters, and we can watch them dance. Separating and returning. Bonding, betrayal, redemption. Repeat. I talk in depth about the astrology of Cupid and Psyche in my course on their asteroids.

As I am writing this, asteroid Psyche is about to (re)enact one of the pivotal moments of her story. In astrological terms, she is meeting with Pluto the Lord of the Underworld, and she is beginning the infamous descent into the land of the dead.

She has been separated from her lover Cupid, and she is doing all of these dangerous and seemingly pointless tasks for his mother Venus, trying to win him back. She’s been given a task that has to be the last because there can’t be anything more impossible: She has been ordered to go to the underworld to retrieve beauty ointment from the Queen of the Underworld herself. No one goes to the underworld and returns (except all the gods and heroes who break the rules “just this once”), so this will definitely be the end of Psyche.

Going to the underworld and returning successfully requires following a particular set of rules. Psyche’s task requires her to have a single-minded focus on her mission. She encounters a bunch of people along the way who need her help, and she cannot help them. She needs to be ruthlessly selfish, or she will fail.

Pluto as the Face of Evil

One of Pluto’s functions is to represent the face of evil for a particular time. As Pluto cycles through the signs, it shows us different ways the human soul can become corrupted. As I write this, Psyche is beginning her descent to the underworld just as Pluto is moving into Aquarius, showing us a new face of evil.

Asteroid Psyche Conjunct Pluto Dates

March 19, 2024 - 1 Aquarius 39’

April 17, 2029 - 10 Aquarius 19’

September 5, 2029 - 8 Aquarius 29’ (Retrograde)

October 6, 2029 - 8 Aquarius 05’

May 29, 2034 - 18 Aquarius 08’

July 24, 2034 - 17 Aquarius 28’ (Retrograde)

November 13, 2034 - 16 Aquarius 00’

December 5, 2039 - 23 Aquarius 34’

December 22, 2044 - 00 Pisces 46’

Since Pluto went into Capricorn in 2008, we have been getting a crash course in the evils of individual ambition at the expense of society. We have experienced the mortgage crisis and financial crash of 2008, the Arab Spring and Occupy Wall Street, the childish temper tantrums of billionaires and a defeated American president, and strongman-driven invasions with sickening civilian casualty counts.

By this time, we should know that greed is not good, and individuals who put their own desires before the needs of others create (and usually become) monsters.

And yet, there is evil at the other end of the spectrum, too. The masses can swallow the rights and needs of the individual in reigns of terror, red scares, and Kafka-esque nightmares. Each sign is a reaction to the excesses of the previous sign. This face of the evil of the masses is what we are beginning to see with Pluto in Aquarius. This is the territory we will be traveling through for the next 20 years, and this is the underworld that Psyche will be traveling to whenever she meets with Pluto.

It feels significant to me that it is in the first few moments of this new Pluto in Aquarius chapter that “just a girl” Psyche goes down to the underworld on her selfish quest, deaf to the cries of the masses. Psyche descends on the very last day of winter in the northern hemisphere, and she will begin her return from the underworld accompanied by Persephone, the two of them bringing spring along with them.

Pluto Conjunct Psyche: Hero or Villain?

In an article for The Living Hearth, I talked about Aries season as the season of the hero. The hero’s quest is fundamentally selfish, but their selfishness is redeemed by the gift they bring back from the underworld for the community.

Heroes and villains are shadows of each other. Both act selfishly, usually because they feel they must. The only difference between them is that the hero ultimately brings life, and the villain brings death.

We cannot live life and tell the story of it at the same time. We live in the present and only understand the role we play in our life stories when those stories are past, when we reach the unknowable future, and it is revealed what our descent to the underworld has done.

This is the real (hidden) reason why it takes so much courage to be a hero: You have to face your shadow, confront the truth of your motives, and descend to the underworld without knowing what you will find there or if you will be able to look yourself in the mirror when you return.

It’s so much easier to stay home and never risk anything at all.

Related Articles

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

new developments

something killed my christmas spirit

sweet baby jesus in a manger

shopping for things even in target was hard

luckily the kids all have a bunch of christmases

so my lack of enthusiasm don't be the main event

it made me so nauseous that I was

literally holding my hand over my lips gagging

but still, items were procured

I'd rather die than wrap them

going in the morning was a good idea

going to a new place to shop also helped

but the moment there were crowds I felt aggressive

luckily there was a pet store right next door

presents in the car and butt on the floor

in front of the rabbit cage

there were three of them

two of them with unfortunate droopy ears

but the one with her ears straight up

she had blue grey eyes like me

I love to watch their noses

they breathe so fast and their noses are so weird

then I went over to the bird display

made friends with a cockatiel who loved to bite

but he didn't bite hard and it seemed affectionate

he bobbed up and down and

when I mimicked him he kept doing it

he had a colorful girlfriend and she cuddled him

but all that still wasn't enough to

get me enough energy to finish shopping

I went into aldi and wanted to run people down

with my cart which is not exactly

how I want to spend my weekend

my body knows what's coming

christmas will be the ultimate lesson

in detaching from my youngest

who I have been with most of the days

he's been alive for six years

I don't blame myself or my body for this

I understand the anger and the despair

I understand the aggression and nausea

it will hurt and suck and be awful and miserable

but we'll get through it

we've done it before which makes it harder

because we know exactly what to look forward to

to worry about it is to suffer it twice

but that's my mind talking

you can only heal what you feel

I can still make christmas eve fun

might like christmas more next year

it's okay if I'm a grinch this year

I can't even enjoy the nsync carols

that was my favorite part of christmas

and the reindeer likely because they're like horses

my autism does make me realize now why

rudolph happened to be one of my favorite songs

something something about a red nose

and exploitation once you're of use

and santa getting all the credit

I wonder if my blood tastes bitter now

if my wine is sour to my spirits

luckily I did get some macaroons

should make it a bit sweeter

it's okay to struggle with things a bit

the holidays are popular for that

plus, I got myself a book

just for the pleasure of reading

I have a feeling nesta and me will recognize each other

I've used books for listening to or studying

but I haven't been reading them for recreation

the habit may have been lost to kids

or chronic hyper-vigilance

I can read it in the bathtub again

there's nothing like getting lost in the pages

turning them and since it's my book

indulging in the sin of dog-earing them

I also found a disco ball pillow

I think my daughter will love the flared pants

and the softest pink sweatshirt known to man

my youngest got his emo clothes

still have to grab something for my oldest

three types of lava lamps for the win

it's the shortest day today

I am looking forward to seeing more sunlight

I'm planning a ritual for my old identity dying

still trying to figure out how to make a little fire

likely need to use jasper for the wood to burn

I didn't journal for awhile because they don't

carry my journals in the store anymore

I kept forgetting to order them

but now I have them and my heart

is happy again that I'm doodling

my room is a mess again

I wonder if I can wrap presents

without gagging or if it's too much to expect

I guess I can't know until I try

maybe if I put Ella and James Taylor on

and sing along I won't be so bah-humbug

I wonder which of the christmas spirits I am

this year I feel like I could be all of them

especially the reaper pointing at the grave

there are still very good things brewing

all is never lost just a little cold under the snow

I wonder if I could stomach White Christmas

oh look it's so interesting to explore

all these new emotions and contexts to them

when I get curious and not deny them

who knew? who knew?

[valsvonvalentine]

Has this been done yet

Tw/blood

[uncpanda]

The Ties that Bind: Two Years

News: In other news I’m working on the Foyett Arch, and possibly working on Hotch and Reader finally getting together. 

AN: I have gotten some great recommendations from people for this story of what people would like to see! And I am loving them!!!! This one goes out to the anon who suggested a heart to heart between Spencer and the reader. I think there will honestly be several of them throughout the series, but this is certainly a big one.

Master List

“It’s big.” 

You can’t help the smile that comes to your lips. Despite being a certified genius, Spencer is still only eleven years old. Big things and new experiences still terrify him, and starting high school while being a foot shorter than everyone else is a terrifyingly new and big experience. 

You shift the bag on your back, and then fuss with Spencer’s. It’s new. You’d managed to squirrel away a little money this month while doing the bills. You’d had just enough left over to buy Spencer the Star Trek backpack of his dreams and a new pair of shoes. The money from your job had covered the school supplies for both of you, and few new clothes from the local thrift shop. 

You look down at him, “You ready?” 

He nods, and grips the straps of his backpack, “Ready.” the determined glint in his eye is enough to give you hope. To be completely honest Spencer doesn’t need to be in high school. He’s tested out of every class, but he can’t go to college just yet. He has to wait for you to graduate first. And he had insisted he’d rather be in the high school where there’s a chance of an academic challenge, then in the elementary school where there’s no chance. 

The fact that it’s hard for him to make friends also plays a role in it. You know that, but you don’t say anything. When you step inside the building and the number of people increase, Spencer reaches out and grasps the hem of your shirt. He’s in most of your classes with you, despite the guidance counselor’s protests. And the principal, well he’d been excited about the prestige Spencer would bring to the school with his test grades and college acceptance letters. He’d been willing to bend over backwards to accommodate your brother. If things go well this semester, next semester he’ll take classes by himself. 

People greet you and call out your name. You’re quick to wave and ignore the odd looks when they see Spencer trailing after you like a baby duck. Only a few friends have met him, usually when you went to pick him up from school. None of them have ever been to the house though, and you intend to keep things that way. 

English is up first, and you lead the way to the room instead of finding your friends and socializing. You know Spencer is memorizing every step to the class, and he’ll feel better once he’s out of the crowd. The classroom is mostly empty and you settle in one of the middle seats while Spencer takes the one next to you. 

You watch in amusement as he takes out all his new supplies and sets them up in a neat and calculated order before folding his hands in his lap and turning to smile at you. “Do you think we’ll start talking about the summer reading right away?” 

“No. We have a few days of introductions, and class rules, and a bunch of stuff we already know but still need to go over.” 

He slumps a bit, sighs, and mumbles, “Stupid rules.” 

More people file in, all of them give Spencer weird looks, but it’s Bryan Lee who finally asks, “Why is there a kid in our class?” 

You don’t look up from the doodle you’re scrawling on the cover of your notebook, “He’s my brother. He’s super smart, and elementary school was boring him. So here he is.” You look up, “Problem?” 

Bryan holds his hands up in a mock surrender, “Nope. Just curious.” 

He steps in front of Spencer’s desk and crouches down, “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Bryan. Most people call me Bry. Your sister is the exception.” 

Spencer studies him for a minute before saying, “She doesn’t like nicknames. Not sure why, but she doesn’t.” 

Bryan smiles, “Well. It was nice to meet you Spencer.” Bryan sends you a wink, before going to take his seat. 

Spencer turns to look at you, but he doesn’t say anything. Your brother takes notes on everything. His pencil never stops moving and you’re worried his hand is going to freeze in a grip hold. He doesn’t ask a lot of questions, and you’re proud of him. You’d had a long talk about drawing attention to himself, and how answering every questions and asking a bunch of questions probably wasn’t the best idea. You’re glad he took it seriously. 

Two years. You only need to make it two years before you can take real custody of Spencer and get the hell out of Nevada. You’ll graduate early and have yourself emancipated by then. 

Lunch is spent with your friends. They make room for Spencer at the table and largely ignore him. Your brother is fine with that. He has a book on the Russian language with him and it’s the size of a cinder block. You not really sure if it’s learning a language or not. He memorizes words, speech patterns, and the forms of words and then just speaks it out like he normally would. His accents are atrocious. But he can already read books in Greek, you figure Russian is just another tool for that. 

You listen to your friends describe their summers; the places they went and the things they did. You had spent most of your summer coaxing your mother out of her paranoia. She was convinced the government was listening in through a device in the TV. She had broken it, and then slipped away for a few days.

When she had returned, you’d gotten her back on her meds, and she had gone back to work. She was now focused on some new path for her lectures and creating a new syllabus from scratch. She was safe, that was what mattered, but you knew things were getting worse. Two years. You just needed two years. 

Your last class of the day, is the only one you don’t share with Spencer. For you it’s a creative writing class, for him . . . it’s gym. You reluctantly, very reluctantly leave him outside the boys’ dressing room. Spencer had been too small for the school’s gym uniform and had been forced to bring play clothes from home. 

Your mind is on him for the majority of class. Sports have never been Spencer’s strong suit, and you know how mean high schoolers can be. You bolt out of class when it’s done, and make it to the boys locker room right as everyone is leaving. Spencer is one of the last ones out, with Bryan guiding him by the shoulder. 

You surge forward and examine him for bruises or cuts or tears. You find none. Your eyes move towards Bryan, “How’d it go?” 

Bryan shrugs, “Some freshman gave him a hard time. I set them straight. And he struck out at baseball.” 

Spencer scowls, “I hate gym.” 

“So noted.” You stand and give Bryan a small smile, “Thanks for looking out for him.” 

He shrugs, “I’ve got two younger sisters. It’s one thing if I give them a hard time, but no one else gets to do it. I figure it’s the same for you two.” 

Spencer’s brow furrows, “No. My sister is my best friend.” 

Bryan’s eyes flicker to you, “It’s true.” 

He smiles, “Well that’s good to know. I’ll see you two around. Spencer, remember to wait for me outside the locker room tomorrow, okay.” 

Your brother nods and Bryan’s gone a second later. 

Spencer looks up at you, and the two of you start walking, “He likes you, you know.” 

“I know.” 

  “He like likes you though. I think he may want to kiss you.” the sound of disgust in your brother’s voice makes  you laugh. 

“I know, but how do you know?” 

“He asked a bunch of questions about you and mentioned all of his sports accolades. I doubt he’s a life long partner but he might be suitable for a high school love interest.” 

“I don’t have time for a love interest. I have my job at the library, I have you, and I have a mother who is . . .special.” 

“She’s schizophrenic. You can say it. I’ve looked it up.” 

You let out a breath of air, “She’s getting worse Spencer.” There’s no use hiding it, the kid is too perceptive to hide it. And you refuse to lie to him. 

“Two years, right?” 

You nod. Two years and you’ll have your degree and you can apply to a college in California and Spencer can go to Cal Tech. The school had offered him a full scholarship including living arrangements for the two of you and a monthly allowance. You just had to last two years. You’d already lasted sixteen, you could handle two more. You had to. 

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

OK my apologies if requests r closed but if not;

I just maybe possibly most likely sprained my wrist, and i was wondering if u could write some hc's for the demon brothers taking care of mc after they had an accident and hurt their dominant hand (bc i would like comfort ty very much i rlly appreciate it/gen)

Brothers Caring For GN!MC Who Sprained Their Wrist (Headcanons)

A/N : Oh god, sprains are so annoying, so I really hope your wrist feels better soon, anon <3

Lucifer

He’ll definitely help take care of you, but not in like… a babying type of way. More so, if you need his help, he’ll be there in the blink of an eye, but he doesn’t want to hover… unless you want him to hover… He can do that too.

Since it is your dominant hand, he can’t imagine not being able to use his dominant hand, so he’ll definitely help you with writing or texting.

He’ll make sure that you’re following doctor’s orders though because he wants your wrist to heal quickly so you won’t be in pain anymore.

Mammon

He’s very worried. Whether you come in with a splint, a cast, or the bandage that keeps you from moving your wrist too much… He’s panicking, and he has so many questions. What happened? Who did it? Where are they? Are you okay?

He’s definitely babying you, you’re his human, and he’s going to make sure that you get the very best care he can give you. No matter how annoying it may seem.

Although he doesn’t know much about how to treat a sprained wrist, he’s very good at getting the ice packs, and the pain medicine. He still feels like he’s doing a good job though, and he’s trying his very best.

Leviathan

At first he thought that it was just a joke and your way of getting out of playing video games with him (please don’t get mad at him for thinking that though, it’s just his pessimistic brain talking.)

When he realizes that you really did sprain your wrist he feels really bad for assuming, and he’s going to help wherever and whenever he can. He’ll help you rebandage your wrist if you need help with it, and he’ll probably be really blushy the entire time.

He’s not really the best at caring for other people since he is usually alone, but he’ll do his best to try to care for you because you mean a lot to him.

Satan

He is the #1 caretaker… There's a book about this and he’s read it. He’s going to ask you a bunch of questions, and he’ll probably sound more like a doctor than any doctor you’ve seen.

He’ll really delicately examine your wrist, make sure there’s no swelling and no redness. While your wrist is still healing he’ll hold all the books that you want to read, and he’s kind of taking advantage of this because he gets to spend more time with you.

Dr. Satan knows all the remedies, all the at-home care and treatments for this, and he’s going to show you all of them. He won’t let you be in too much pain for too long.

Asmodeus

He’s got a lot of questions, but the main one is if it hurts, and if it does, how bad? He doesn’t want you in pain, it hurts his heart. He will help you with anything, literally anything.

He hovers, but only because he cares a lot. If you need help in the shower, he’ll offer to help (not in a sexual way, in a “please let me help you” type of way). If your wrist is in one of the bandages, he offers to find nicer ones that’ll match your outfits. Just little ways to brighten up your look on it.

He actually follows the doctor's orders very closely. He also really likes to do little doodles on your hand to keep you smiling throughout the day.

Beelzebub

With all the working out he does and the sports that he plays, he knows what it’s like to have a hurt wrist, although, as a demon, he heals pretty fast and it doesn’t hurt as bad. He definitely knows how to care for a sprained wrist though.

He’s a big proponent of letting your wrist rest, so he will do everything he can to keep you from using that hand at all. He’ll help feed you, and he’ll buy cute little curly straws to put in your cups so that you don’t have to lift them.

Basically, he’s letting both your wrists rest until you’re all better. He doesn’t want you to put extra strain on your other wrist to compensate, so he will do everything for you.

Belphegor

He doesn’t ask many questions because he doesn’t want to pester you about it, he mainly wants to know what it is that he can do to help you heal faster.

He’ll bring you ice packs, and pain medication, he’ll also use all of the pillows on his bed for you to rest your hand on to keep it elevated. He’ll definitely ask you to stay up in the attic with him just so he knows that you’re not straining your wrist or using it too much.

After you’re healed is when he’ll ask all the questions. He really just wants to know if someone did it to you. He waited so he could fully focus on you and get your wrist better first though.

[snowycorpse]

Tate Langdon headcanons

(aka me projecting onto the poor guy)

He is bi/pansexual (doesn't mind either label)

Has internalized homophobia bc of Constance’s bullshit though

Adores fruit, one of the only things he'll gladly eat

Loves being praised

Thrifts all his clothes

He is 100% an artist

Reads constantly (and has great taste)

The library is like his escape room 

It’s quiet and secluded and has so many worlds that he can escape into

Once the internet became bigger he went absolutely wild

With all that knowledge to be consumed at his fingertips, he was enamored 

He's a little too into true crime though

Like he'll get really into one case that will consume him for weeks

You should have seen him when all the Jeffrey Dahmer stuff came to light

He was very much not okay

Kurt Cobain's death was part of the reason he snapped

Gets peeved out by eating sometimes, so he skips meals often

Really emotional pretty much 24/7

Little to no friends

When he was still alive he would try to get out of the house as much as possible because of his mother

He would still be there for Addy when she needed her brother though

He loves cuddling, especially being the little spoon

Please hold him

Constantly longs for more cardigans, he has a problem

Halloween is his favorite holiday

The Nightmare Before Christmas came out a year before he died, he loved it

Probably liked Beetlejuice too

A fan of Tim Burton's aesthetic in general

Ben prescribed him Lexapro so he probably has either anxiety or depression (at least)

Loves new technology, show him Spotify and he'll be the happiest little guy

One of those kids that pretended to be a vampire in 3rd grade

Likes causing discourse on the internet

Maybe a bit of a theater kid (?)

Probably enjoys vandalizing things/spraypaint

Also enjoys shoplifting

Just petty crimes

Almost got arrested several times but always managed to get away until the last time

Despises change

More than likely had a couple romantic partners before Violet, but only got hurt

Would run a successful aesthetic Tumblr blog

Let's be real he would live on Tumblr if he got a device with internet access

Slang confuses the shit out of though, he really is still a 90s kid

Is sad he can't go out to movies after he's dead

Would order a projector online and make his own movie theater in the attic

Invites all the other ghosts up there to join him

Laughs at portrayals of ghosts in movies

Adores slashers though

I feel like he'd love Friday the 13th and Scream specifically

He's an online shopping addict now because I said so

He can't leave the house, it only makes sense

He'd steal the current residents of Murder House's credit cards to pay for it all 

This also causes more discourse among the families, which I honestly think he might find entertaining

Speaking of addictions, he is 100% a caffeine addict

Especially loves green Monster Energy

It gives him heart palpitations but he drinks it anyway 

Back when he was alive, the caffeine addiction eventually spiraled into cocaine and meth 

But we all knew that that’s literally canon

Absolutely gets jittery for no reason, even without being on anything, so the drugs would only heighten that

Self-conscious about how scrawny he is

Definitely owns a jewelry box

Larry probably called him a sissy for owning jewelry once, so he makes a point to wear it every day

Made earrings out of his wisdom teeth

Makes earrings out of anything

He writes poetry and his own songs to get rid of his extra emotions

He carries a composition notebook around with him everywhere for scribbles and doodles 

You never know when inspiration is going to strike

If he for some reason doesn’t have his notebook on him when he gets an idea he will write on napkins, his own skin, shoes, whatever he can find

He seems like the kinda guy to save newspaper clippings, don’t ask me why

He’d keep a bunch of them on his corkboard or pasted into his notebook

Basically “lives” for music when he has nothing else to keep him going

Loves sleep but stays up way too late at the same time

His love language is touch, but he’s also afraid of being touched/is touch-starved

Gets obsessed with random topics and will research them for days

He has a bunch of miscellaneous knowledge because of this

Likes fire/ burning stuff

Fav colors are reds and greens (but absolutely not next to each other)

His fav color scheme is orange and purple/black because it reminds him of Halloween

Buy him presents and he will love you forever

Or just make him something

He didn’t ever have  a lot of people caring about him growing up, so he will  absolutely treasure any gift that is offered to him

He would love playing classic video games like Pong, Tetris, and Pac Man

This doesn’t stop him from enjoying new games too!!

I have a feeling he would be a big fan of Animal Crossing especially

Being friends with cute animals makes him feel less alone

Also seems like he would carry around a battered deck of cards with him everywhere for quick games of Solitaire

He has a wall of entertainment/distraction materials in his room (VHS tapes, CDs (both blank & burned), DVDs, records, books, games)

Fascinated by anatomy, it’s the only science class he ever did well remotely well in 

He was probably one of the “advanced” kids in elementary school, but by the time he hit high school he was too done with people to care that much anymore 

He’s smart, just done with society and conforming to its rules

Probably wanted to grow his hair out at one point, but Constance wouldn’t let him

Speaking of hair, he probably cuts his own

He started having to do that himself in middle school and at first it looked awful

He’s a pro by now though

Loves braiding Addy’s hair for her to help her look like a pretty girl

He’s a great brother, even though he’s the youngest

Mess with his siblings and you mess with him

That’s all for now, but I’ll probably come back and add more later. Please consider adopting any of these headcanons as your own and then telling me so,  as I adore validation. 

I’ve also got headcanons for Kyle in the works, and feel free to request any of your favorite Evan characters as well :) 

Thank you for reading!!!

[corpsentry]

january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end