#but i still got a picture of it and that’s all that matters to me
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oh ho ho! so simon calls and asks the bartender out...what are we thinking? does he go all out trying to prove he actually isn't a loser and can pull off a suave date? or does he purposefully plan the most off-putting date possible to get back at her for being a pain in the ass?
prev.
i love that you think he's going to call right away. nope.
simon sends some version of you up? after close, then stews for hours when you don't reply. he sits in the dark, phone in hand, grumbling to himself. the cigarette between his fingers burns low, barely making it to the ashtray before he lights another.
he lasts three days. three nights of drinking alone at home, refusing to go to the pub and show his face. the thought crosses his mind to go elsewhere, where it'd take him all of fifteen minutes to find a bit of skirt, but somehow, you've gone and sucked the thrill out of that.
his pride keeps him tethered in place, stubborn to a fault, but even that has its limits. on the third night, the ashtray beside him overflowing, he finally caves. he calls.
"so you can follow instructions. i was worried i'd have to draw you a picture."
he doesn't waste time. "sent ya an address. i can be there in ten."
"yeah, i looked it up. looks like a classy joint. free wifi."
"…you comin' or not?"
"mm, got a policy. can't sleep anywhere lower than three stars."
"s'not for sleepin'."
"then let's do yours. got a bed frame?"
simon straightens, caught off guard. that's unexpected—that you're game. he expected more of a fuss, but if you're just in it for dick, things are back on track.
he glances at his bed. the rumpled dark blue sheets are half-pulled off the mattress, still on the floor where he's always kept it. it's never mattered before, but no one's ever been here, either. hotels keep it impersonal. neutral ground. they reinforce the rules. they do the cleaning.
"can't. i'll come over."
"oof, i've got another policy." you chuckle. "can't have someone over until we've gone on an actual date. you know, to make sure they're normal. or close to it."
you have no idea.
he imagines sitting across a table in some overpriced restaurant, squeezed into a tiny chair, with loud music pounding in his ears. wasting money on drinks and food. all that just to stare at the tits he knows you're going to hide underneath some layers while you make small talk. it makes his skin itch.
but. if your stupid little 'policies' don't exist solely to jerk him around, he'll earn passage into your world. your place. unknown territory, somewhere to plant a flag and humble you all at once.
forget his lack of a bed frame, he hasn't had a bird in her own bed in ages.
"fine. tomorrow."
"sunday," you counter, and he hears the grin in your voice. "i'm off monday. send me a better address, and i'll meet you there. no french food."
he scoffs. "that, we can agree on."
you laugh, teasing. "bring that with you—the sense of humor. you're gonna need it."
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red ochre [5]
series masterlist previous || part five -> kermes || part six -> madder
pairing: viking goap x fem! nun reader summary: big nun, little nun w.c: 3.5k tags/warnings: guilt, religious / moral turmoil, stockholm syndrome, child abuse (past), scars, simon returns, corruption (past), misogyny (past), whipping (past), blood, suffering (past mostly), power imbalance, freeze response (past), guilt, dissociation, dom/sub dynamics, we're learning consent (kinda? eeh), violent imagery, dubcon/noncon, vaginal fingering, choking, throat grab
When Johnny asks how it felt to go from there – the convent, you think he means – to here, you can only describe it as dunking your hands into ice water.
Shocking, painful, and prickling all over.
He only says hm, and moves on. His face is pensive. You don’t tell him that sometimes, you wake up and aren’t in the water anymore.
Even in prayer, you hadn’t thought as much as you had since you’d been taken. Hadn’t worried as much. Teachings from adults since youth had told you that everybody was inherently sinful, even children.
So why is the community around you so happy without God? They have their own, you know this, but the multitude of them and their roles in divine hierarchy aren’t necessarily about absolute power.
There are woman-Gods, Gods without designations, Gods for the earth and the children and unions between people. You find it hard to continue calling them heretics, devils, when they’re really just people. Different, yes, strange and incomprehensible, but people nonetheless.
Heathens, you try to think. Heathens, devils. They took you
You wonder when the last time you thought of yourself as just a person was, when you weren’t a thing set within a rigid mold, beaten down in more ways than one.
On the eve of Simon's return you catch Johnny doing something secretive. He's hunched over the table, the tip of his tongue stuck out of his mouth in concentration. The soft sound of scraping, of wood gently knocking is all you can hear over the fire.
“What's that?” you ask, when your curiosity gets the best of you.
Johnny turns, one eye squinted, the every picture of concentration. He holds up a carved figure – a woman, it looks like. Ah, it’s you. Though hard to tell, the woman wears a veil and sits on a chair, hunched.
Your veil. You’d nearly forgotten what it felt like. It used to be a weight, heavy and pressing, a shackle. Now you miss the safety of not feeling so exposed all the time.
Somewhere in the journey here it had been lost, or maybe thrown overboard. Your habit, too, replaced for the woolen Viking-style dresses bought and bartered for by Simon and Johnny. Even you have to admit you enjoy the colours more, even if the conformity of the convent felt safe.
“How long were you watching me?” you breathe, eyes wide and still staring.
“Not long, lamb,” he smiles disarmingly. “Ah just remember ye, sittin’ pretty.”
“Working on the tapestry,” you correct him, though it doesn’t really matter.
He looks back down to his little figure, pensive.
“Ah guess so,” he says jovially.
“It was my punishment,” you add. This probably matters even less, but the clash of worlds has thrown you off balance. You feel unbearably present, unbearably lucid.
I was a nun, you think. Am I still a nun?
“Punishment?” he frowns. “Ah thought they struck ye?”
“Sometimes. But sometimes I had to work extra hard.”
“Like a bairn?”
“A what?”
“A child, lamb,” he smiles again.
You look into the fire, thinking. Punishment applied to everyone, not just children, no? Even Simon and Johnny had punished you. But who had given them the right? Had you, with your secret want? Your secret lustful sin?
“You punished me,” you settle on.
“Aye, we did,” he nods. “Ye needed it.”
“Then why do you… ah, disparage the church for doing the same?”
He turns to you.
“Ah think ye got it all wrong,” he says simply. “We don’t give it to ye to make ye hurt. Aren’t ye better after? Righted?”
Righted. That’s a word worth its weight in gold. As is the truth of his words, but you stay quiet and look into the fire instead of responding.
You take up Johnny’s offer to spend time with Kari. Johnny walks you there, holds your hand in the cold and blows hot air on them as you wait together outside their door.
When Gaz opens it, he hoots and hollers as if the frigid air outside has no effect on him, as if his inner warmth and naturally excitable disposition is no match for the cold.
You have to admire that. At least a little.
“Hi there,” Gaz says to you, a greeting softer than the one he gave Johnny.
“Hello,” you try to subtly peek inside, “it’s… nice to see you.”
He doesn’t take offence to your awkward, stilted attempt at politeness. Maybe he knows you’re not quite comfortable here, to put it lightly, and only claps your shoulder gently to pull you in.
“Have fun!” Johnny shouts, already leaving, “and give me my wife back in one piece!”
That makes you sheepish, but you try to ignore your feelings in favour of moving towards Kari and the little baby, Tyra.
“Hello again,” she greets, smiling. The baby stares at you, babbles ceasing as if she’s seeing you for the first time. Her little head swings towards her mother, hiding despite her clear curiosity.
“You’ve met me before,” you say softly, trying valiantly not to frighten her as you take a seat opposite to Kari.
“She’s feeling shy lately,” Kari looks down and tuts, swiping a thumb over Tyra’s chubby cheek, “needs her mama.”
Weaving here is not much different than weaving at the convent. Once you get the basics down, you’re threading dyed wool into cloth astride Kari.
Some spirit of confidence grips you.
“Will you tell me anything about Simon and Johnny?”
“About-” she lifts her head, “Simon and Johnny? Don’t they speak to you?”
“They - do,” you rush to assure her, though your voice maintains a weary unsureness.
Luckily for you, she gives you a small but comforting smile over the wool.
“You’re looking for an outside opinion? That’s okay, lovely girl, I just might not know as much about them as my husband does,” she gestures with her chin towards Gaz, who walks towards you both.
“What d’you need to know?” he asks casually, sidling up to Kari affectionately, “think they’ll be able to answer better than me.”
“I only really know… what I’ve seen. I haven’t…” your mouth twists as you trail off, frustration germinating as you struggle. Right, you can commit sins of the flesh but you can’t ask a question to sate curiosity — one which might be the difference between surviving and not surviving.
Knowledge is important, after all. Powerful. You think of Eve, who doomed humanity for it, naked as the day she was born and as clueless as Adam yet ate the apple anyway.
“I know they’re… warriors,” you pause, “since they’re all scarred, but—“
“Well, not necessarily—” Kari starts, until Gaz puts a palm on her thigh and gives her a look you can’t discern.
“That’s not something we should share,” Gaz says tightly, but kindly.
“How else..?” you frown.
Tyra stirs, and Kari gives Gaz another look.
“Simon’s father used to be chief,” she lifts the babe back into her lap, patting, cooing, “it’s not a nice story, but if you need it to understand them better then I don’t mind telling it.”
“I want to know about them,” you insist, trying to push past the sense of danger, the sense that you’ll be hurt or killed for toeing out of line.
Testing the elasticity of safety here perhaps isn’t wise, but testing it might be what you need to settle. Knowing where the boundaries are, what’s expected, where they come from… you wonder if you’ll doom everybody, like Eve.
“Believe it or don’t, but we’ve only just rekindled the hunts, the raids. How it should be,” she starts.
Gaz sighs, leaning back where he’s sitting. You assume his hesitance is out of loyalty for his comrades, but you choose tentatively to ignore him in favour of his wife.
“We had a lazy, drunken leader,” Kari continues, “Simon’s father inherited the title through lineage, not through prowess as is… more natural to us.”
You nod slowly, trying to imagine. In the church, such things were often gained with corruption: any wealthy lords’ son could rise high in the ranks, if he had the money and means.
The convent had somewhat of a similar issue, though the women were ‘married’ into the church and the power rested in the hands of their families.
Such was the world.
Not always, but you’d heard of it often enough. One of the abbots of the monastery in the closest town had been the son of an affluent donator, and thus received power of authority over the other monks.
“To make a long story short, and more respectful to Simon—” Gaz looks at her then “—his father was needlessly cruel both to his own children, his wife, and to those he was responsible for.”
“So, those scars…?”
“Some are from fighting, of course. But usually, no one’s getting close enough to those two to land that kind of damage. I’m sure you can fill in the rest.”
Gaz butts in here, “or, you can ask him yourself.”
“How did that woman, I forgot her name, come to be chief?” you frown in thought.
Gaz takes over again, his hand dragging up from the small of his wife's back and squeezing her nape. It’s as much of a warning as you’ve seen, though it’s quiet and Kari looks sheepish, not afraid, “Kate challenged him.”
“A challenge?” you frown, “such as?”
“A fight to the death.”
“Oh,” your lips close, and thin, and your eyebrows fly up. “I didn’t realize… I mean, violence is…”
They don’t do you the courtesy of filling in for you, so you go silent and the air settles.
Johnny picks you up later, when you’ve helped Kari with a big portion of her weaving. You love the threads, the dyeing process. It’s meditative.
“Good ?” Johnny nudges your side, slipping a hand to just above your waist, fingers tickling the side of your breast.
“Yes,” and it’s honest.
He walks you home, hand in hand, and cannot stop talking about Simon's return.
“Ah’ve never been without him this long,” he rambles over the fire, stirring a potato soup, “think yer gonnae be witness to something dirty. Sorry, lamb.”
Only he’s grinning, and he’s not sorry, and you can see the front of his pants begin to tent.
Johnny later offers you that very same sin, tilting his hips towards you and swinging his cock obscenely, cheekily. You do not take him up on it despite the smolder that begins between your legs – you simply turn, and try to sleep through the sounds of his self-abuse.
Simon returns without much fanfare, slipping into the house with a seemingly practiced silence. He moves like a ghost.
Johnny doesn't wake yet, sleeping like an affectionate log behind you.
His gaze meets yours, as impassive as always, framed in a halo of white winter light. He looks handsome this way, though it also has the effect of making his scars look deeper – crevasses on his face for shadows to lay in.
You watch as he strips his winter garments, slipping then beside you, evening out the weight on the bed.
“How did it go?” you whisper. If he's surprised that you spoke he doesn't show it, staring up at the ceiling, muscles decompressing. Sighing like a big dog.
In lieu of speaking, he lifts something into your focus. Oh, it's a tooth, sharp and white. A predator's tooth.
“The rest tomorrow,” he says quietly.
You can tell he's tired. His face looks weary. How far do they travel for these hunts? You assume quite far, as it’s enough to tire even a seasoned warrior.
So, rather than speaking, asking him from which creature he took this tooth, you tentatively reach your hand up to press your fingers against his thick scars.
Simon freezes, as do you. Then, as he relaxes, you trace the grooves on his face with your fingers tightly. Very lightly.
A delicate moment is born then. Johnny's deep, sleepy breathing behind you, Simon's acquiescence – it's a tranquil thing. As thin as lace, as sweet as a crisp apple.
After some time, when you've traced his face twice over and his eyes are half-lidded, you speak softly.
“Why me?”
“You're beautiful,” he says simply, sighing again, “we wanted to.”
It becomes harder, again, to hold the belief of them as devils. That they smelled the sin on you and picked you that way.
“Don't you think it's cruel?”
“No,” finally, he turns to you.
“It was,” you assert recklessly. Fear twists in your gut, poisonous.
“You were scared.”
“Yes.”
“Are you still scared?”
“I feel like you can see right through me. That scares me.”
“Not at first.”
“Then when?”
His hand finds the dip of your waist. Squeezes.
“On the boat, when you pushed up against me like a wet kitten. Even scared, you needed it.”
“You were cruel to me then, too.”
“I’m a cruel man.”
There's a stray thought that wiggles to life in the back of your head that suggests sympathy for him despite his statement. That you can begin seeing the path of his life and understand how he came to be.
You think of punishment again; about parents and children, husband's and wives, about Simon and his father. That wasn't punishment, if you're understanding it the way Kari implied.
A memory strikes you, unbidden and unwelcome.
Salt blows in the air, metallic and thick in your nose. Not sea salt, not the wind you love so much, but from blood spraying.
The man brought his son to the convent, citing his bad behaviour as ungodly. Sister Margret was pleading with him, hands clasped in desperate prayer and voice high, reedy, as she begged him to just stop hitting him – please, just stop hitting him!
The boy cowered. Not a child, but a boy nonetheless. Young enough to make an impression, round-cheeked, on the cusp of manhood. Stained with blood.
He lifted the rope, again and again and again, even as Margret leapt for his arm and tried to stop him, pulling, shouting.
You were stock still, frozen, not even a tremble in your body. Your eyes had widened when he first struck the boy and you’d been stuck since.
Simon takes your hand, peels it away from your dress, pulling you bodily towards him and out of the memory.
With your cheek pressed close to his bare shoulder, you murmur, “did you take me to hurt me?”
“No,” he says, sounding for once like he isn’t hiding anything.
“Did you hit me to really hurt me?”
“No,” he repeats, then, “I hit you because you needed it, because you liked it.”
“I’ve seen…” you don’t continue.
“I know.”
“We’ve both been hurt,” your voice is a whisper.
“Mm,” Simon confirms.
You think of the boy. Of his father. Of his terrified, deer-like eyes, blood splattered on his back and on the ground and soaked into the rope – about how four townsmen had to pull his father away for fear of killing the boy.
How you felt when you hit yourself, when the abbess hit you, how different they were to when Simon took his palm to your ass.
Shame. That had been in the boy's eyes that day. He had hid his face in his arms, cowering not only from fear but from being seen.
You’d felt that same shame each time you’d been punished, intensifying, twisting together until you’d learned to turn the same pain inwards.
“Are you afraid of being seen?” you murmur to Simon.
“No.”
You don’t have to say the silent part; that you’re the afraid one. That Simon correctly interpreting your need for a different kind of control, one that let you lose yourself, felt like you’d been flayed for all to see.
Simon moves his hand lower, cupping the soft curve of your behind, staring at you, testing the waters. You know that if you said no, he might anyways, but you stay quiet as his fingers lift the hem of your dress.
The fabric slides over your skin, a whisper in the air, tickling you. He rubs his rough, hairy knuckles against your thigh close to where it meets your leg.
He pauses there, breathing slowly, before he slides a finger up your slit and through the thatch of hair above it.
“If I made a request,” you murmured, “would you grant it?”
“Make it, and I’ll tell you.”
He slips a finger to rub your hole, just outside, teasing, while his thumb finds your clit.
“I don’t want you to take me until we’re man and wife… men and wife.”
Simon hums, rubs gently, makes your hips undulate.
“Do you think you’re in a place to be making requests like that, love?”
“I haven’t asked for anything else.”
He raises a brow, sliding his finger inside you to the knuckle when you’re wet enough.
“Haven’t you?”
Your breathing deepens, hands coming down to hold his thick wrist, pulling almost subconsciously. Even now, you can’t totally let go, leaning away from him and the pleasure.
But he understands, leaning over you, using his other hand to pin you to the mattress by your throat. It’s not the nicest hold, but the burning of your lungs heightens the pulsing in your cunt.
“Think you just made a few requests right now,” he grunts, using your leg to rub his hard, clothed cock.
There’s a stirring beside you. Johnny groans as he wakes up, then laughs sleepily.
“Ah woke up just in time,” his voice is rough with sleep.
Simon hums, mmm, in that deep rumble of his. He slips another finger inside you, crooking them, making you gasp raggedly. Your hands still clutch his wrist, weaker now, but it’s half resistance half comfort.
“Mm, good girl,” Johnny murmurs. He curls into your side, cock growing against your hip, wrapping a leg around you while his hand climbs beneath your pulled up dress and palms your tit.
God, you could die just like this: fighting for breath, touched all over, held down and made free. The hate you had for them feels irrelevant, the fear, the brutal way in which they stole you.
You can’t even think about if Simon will disregard your request – your last frontier against them, the treasure between your legs for a husband only.
Simon’s knuckle deep in it, but still, you can’t let go of that final tether. Not yet, not without any other internal pillars to hold you up.
Everything else has been wiped away. Drawings in the sand on a beach swept by foamy white waves.
Johnny leans in and bites your shoulder, gnawing, hips moving against you. You can’t arch like you want to, but you try.
Wet, sinful sounds grow as you gush around Simon’s fingers, as they use you to get off.
When you peak, white spots dance in your vision, mouth open in a silent scream choked away by Simon's heavy palm.
It’s like flying.
In the afternoon, when you’ve all slept, Simon leaves to speak with John and you prepare lunch with Johnny.
More fish, more potatoes. It’s growing on you.
When Simon returns, he has in his arms a rolled up fur. Though unprocessed and still wet underneath, it’s beautiful, pale, spotted.
He takes a heavy seat in front of you, laying the skin over his knees, taking your hand in his and bringing it to the fur.
Soft. Dense. Your fingers move through the pelt.
“For you,” Simon says.
You look up at him, heart dancing.
His gifts. The apple, the orgasms, this– you don’t know what to make of it. Yes, it’s a kindness, but he’s a cruel man. He’d said so himself, and you’d felt the brunt of it.
Leaning into that cruelty has given you a strange power, a strange solidity. You’d so begun to familiarize yourself with his harshness that you’d forgotten this complexity.
You pinch the fur, feeling it between your fingers, breathing slowly. Your neck ached, but it wasn’t a bad ache; it felt like a phantom hand.
“For me?”
Johnny slides three bowls on the table, grinning.
“Yer first wedding gift,” he says jovially.
“Oh, I see,” you murmur, but it isn’t a disappointed oh.
Simon leaves later again, full of soup, to process the rest of the hunt’s boon with John. He takes the pelt with him, a snowcat pelt you’ve learned.
Yet, he’d returned with not much more than scratches on him from travel. Tired, yes, but a few hours of sleep and splattering his spend on your belly had fixed that earlier.
You’d bathed, since, though the feeling was hard to shake.
Johnny putters about again, returning to his carving of the little mini you. A peek into the past, one you no longer embodied.
“Can I see when you’re done?” you ask, slipping your favourite wool dress on. The red, well worn one. Soft, comforting.
“Course,” he mumbles, concentrating. Then, his head shoots up.
“Ye want one o’ Simon ‘n’ I, lamb? Carry us around?” Only it sounds like aroond.
You nod, walking on socked feet to where he’s carving.
“Yes.”
#drgnfly writes#sorry this is a bit late ahaaa#im almost late to class to post this oopsie#im also not super happy with it but hey#its posted ig#ghoap x reader#goap x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#soap x reader#cod x reader
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dad!franco headcanons 💐
Before the baby was born, when the furniture for the nursery started arriving he insisted on putting it together himself because he was ‘totally capable of doing so’. And you believed him, but he had a flaw, he never actually read the instructions, only quickly looked at the pictures and guessed it was enough. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. “what happened? i thought you were almost done” you were surprised to see multiple parts of the crib back on the floor “i used the wrong screw, so i was missing some long ones, so i had to got back to get them” “leave it be for tonight, yeah? i’ll help you with it tomorrow” The next morning everything went smoothly as you actually read the steps and organized the different screws and parts by numbers.
You enjoyed being pregnant more than you thought you would, because of your active lifestyle and young age pregnancy was very easy on you. And most of your days were spent on walks, pilates classes and buying. Almost every day you were doing deep research on the best products of each category and online shopping. Especially if Franco wasn’t home, it was the best way to spend time and feel less lonely. You would always call him when things arrived, showing him everything and putting it away in the nursery.
Franco cried way more than you expected when your son was born. Maybe it was because of the exhaustion of being awake with you for 13 hours of labor, maybe he was just very emotional. You were in a bubble for a second when they finally handed you the baby — and it was a short second because you still had more to deliver. But as soon as you were all cleaned up, taken care of and sound asleep Franco turned his full attention to the baby. When you woke up he was humming and the baby was sleeping in his bare chest, only a blanket covering their bodies. “i love you two” you whispered to them
Nothing made Teo happier than seeing his dad come home from work. He was always all smiles when Franco walked through the door or waking up to him when he got home in the middle of the night. “hey” you whispered into the dark nursery “you didn’t need to get up, i got home just in time for his bottle” “thank you, my love, but i’ll take it from here, you go shower so we can go back to sleep” you’d be too tired by the time he was done to say anything about him sneaking Mateo in the bed with you.
Your favorite thing in the world was seeing them sleeping together. It seemed that your boyfriend had magical arms because no matter how fussy or upset Teo was, the second Franco picked him up it was like he couldn’t keep his eyes open, bonus points for chupi and blankie. That’s what you missed the most when he was away, you didn’t have the same patience if Teo was throwing a tantrum to skip his nap times or pushback bed time. You never understood what was so magical about Papa’s chest that made him fall asleep in minutes, if anything you were supposed to be more comfortable – you had two natural pillows! “¡Papa!” your son whined and ran from you when he heard the front door open. “¿que pasa, mi amor?” he picked him up and the crying stopped almost immediately but as Franco made his way in he realized the boy wasn’t the only one crying “vida? what’s wrong? what happened?” he asked but you just buried your face on his other shoulder, letting your tears soak up his shirt. “i’m sorry, ‘t’s nothing, let me take him” “what? no. what the fuck happened here?” he asked calmly “what are you even sorry for?” “not being enough for him, for you. god, i’ve been wrestling him to go to bed for so long, then you get here and boom, he’s out. i just didn’t know what to do anymore” he heard your confession and hugged you tighter, rubbing his palm on your back. “you could’ve called me. i’ll be back in a second. always call me if it gets too much” he kissed the top of your head.
When Franco was home he was in charge of putting Mateo down for his morning nap while you cooked lunch. This one monday though, he had just gotten home a couple hours before but insisted on following your routine, so he sat on the couch with his son, arm wrapped around him to support the bottle in his mouth. Franco was the one to fall asleep instead of the child, who slipped from his dads hold. When he woke up you were standing in front of him, taking a picture of his sticker covered face. “I told you I could put him down if you were too tired” you said, taking the bottle from his hand — that had spilled all over your decorative pillows. “Did he sleep?” you chuckled and pointed to the floor, where your son slept hugging his favorite stuffed animal.
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More Like A Real Man
(Original story posted September 8th 2022) This story has been significantly Updated!
A rare Gay to Straight themed story from me here so if that’s your thing then I hope you enjoy! 😜
“Finally I’m starting to look less like a nerdy piece of shit and more like a real fuckin man.” Henry smirked as he checked himself out in the selfie camera. At last he was starting to see the results of his labour. His body was finally starting to take shape. All the new muscle he’d been able to pack on made him a far cry from the stick figure of a man he was before. “Next thing will be to get some contacts so I don’t have to wear these dumbass glasses half the fuckin time.” He scoffed.
———
This all started over 6 months ago Henry was practically the picture of a skinny booknerd. With his frail body, glasses that framed his average face and clear lack of fashion sense. He was intelligent for sure, easily making it into one of the most advanced courses at his local college, but that only made him less popular when it came to the jocks. Henry was everything they weren’t. And most of all he was gay which didn’t help his reputation with the jock either.
Despite this, one day Henry found himself sneaking into Coach Kent’s office. The Coach had been in charge of the college’s football team and physical education courses for quite some time now. However, news had recently spread about Coach Kent deciding to leave. Saying something about a “Change of scenery”. And so this day was said to be his last day at the local college. Of course Henry, being the meek gay nerd that was, couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see if the coach had left anything behind for him to steal. After all, he'd had a secret crush on the older burly man ever since he started going to this college.
He’d hoped to find maybe an old shirt or pair of shoes. Anything Henry could use to remember the Dilf that was Coach Kent in his own perverted way. What he didn’t expect to find was one of the coach’s jockstraps!?! He couldn’t believe the coach had left it behind but he certainly wasn’t going to complain. The nerd swiped it up without a second thought, giving it a good long sniff before shoving it into his bag.
Henry made another sweep of the office to see if there was anything else worth grabbing. He grabbed an old blue cap that had been left hanging on the door along with a pair of football socks remembered seeing Coach Kent wear a few times before. He was already imagining how hot the cosplay was going to be as he quietly slipped out of the office. Knowing he was gonna nut in that jockstrap as soon as he got home had him struggling to hide his boner.
Once in the comfort and privacy of his bedroom, Henry tossed his bag on the bed and immediately stripped down. He pulled out the worn jockstrap before pressing it to his nose yet again, loving the strong masculine scent left behind by Coach Kent. All the while thinking back on all the fantasies he’d had of worshipping the hot older man.
Eventually however he was able to pull jockstrap away from his face long enough to start putting it on. Sliding up over his lanky legs until the pouch pulled over his moderate cock and balls and the straps came up just below his flat butt. As expected it was far too big for him. So much so that it wouldn’t stay on properly without Henry holding it in place. But it was still super hot nonetheless. Causing his already stiff cock to pulse even harder with excitement as he used his free hand to jerk it.
He was already thinking of grabbing Coach Kent’s socks and cap to wear too… until a strange dizziness washed over him. He could hardly explain it as he started to lose what little strength he had before collapsing on the bed behind him. It was like his consciousness was being squashed down from the inside. That was the only way to explain it. But it wouldn’t matter as he soon faded from consciousness.
———
“Fuck sake! Why did this skinny nerd faggot have to find it first.” Henry shouted in frustration as he looked down and his scrawny body in disgust. Pawing at his non existent biceps and flat chest. Only it wasn’t Henry anymore. “I was sure I told one of the faggy jocks to check my office after I left!” Even his own voice was pissing him off now. Completely lacking any kind of real masculinity or power behind it.
Henry didn’t know it at the time but the jockstrap he’d stolen actually had Coach Kent’s very soul embedded into it. It was part of a sacred ritual that would allow him to take over the body of whomever wore the jockstrap. His plan had been to trick one of the younger closeted gay Jocks into taking it and putting it on but clearly things didn’t go exactly to plan. “I can’t do that fucking ritual for at least another ten years!” The coach vented in frustration.
The body snatcher looked himself up and down in the nearest mirror he could find. “Jesus Christ. I’ve seen chicks that don’t even work out with bigger muscles than this…” When he’d put his soul into that jockstrap he’d hoped to find himself in a new body that was young and strong. One that had potential to become a great athlete some day. Unfortunately Henry met only one part of that criteria. He might’ve been young but his physique was laughable at best. It was practically just skin and bone. And now that’s exactly what Coach Kent was stuck with. “Why did this pathetic little shit have to ruin everything…” He grumbled while gritting his teeth.
It was tough for him to adjust at first. Kent couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this puny but there was nothing he could do about it now. He was stuck in this imp’s body for the foreseeable future as infuriating as it was. However he had no plans looking like a thing for the next ten years so he did the only thing he could do to fix this fuck up. He got Henry’s skinny ass body into the gym.
It was embarrassingly tough at first for the once manly and imposing coach. Only being able to lift some of the smallest weights and having to set the machines he used to a light load. But despite that he pushed this pathetic worm’s body as far as it could go. He combined his efforts with a well thought out meal plan that he stuck to religiously over the next couple of months. It took some time but eventually he began to see some results in muscle gains that made him slightly less disgusted by his own reflection.
Those weren’t the only changes Kent had been making to Henry’s life however. In this time Henry’s friends had noticed a very sudden shift in his behaviour. He used to be a kind and timid guy that loved to talk about nerdy things with them. Yet one day he suddenly began acting crude, boisterous and talking like an absolute gym rat. Just like the dudes that would bully their friend group. In less than a week Kent had already cut ties with them after he started acting like a complete douchebag and calling them all a bunch of homophobic slurs. He didn’t want to be friends with a bunch of geeky homo’s anyway. Henry might’ve been a fag but Kent was as straight as a fuckin arrow!
Speaking of, it didn’t take long for him to have his straight orgasm. On the very first evening of being inside his new body, the coach first opened Henry’s laptop to find tabs upon tabs of gay porn open and in bookmarks. He was disgusted by it and was even more disgusted when his body reacted and got a semi for it. “Fucking faggot body…” He muttered to himself before swiftly deleting all the gay porn tabs with a strong grimace.
“Time to fix this broken dick.” He smirked before clicking on the search bar and pulling up the hottest straight porn he could find. It didn’t take long for Kent to find countless incredible videos of beautiful big breasted bimbo’s shaking their tits and fingering their wet pussies. Their feminine moans were like music to his ears. He glanced down at his cock as he started jerking it. “See? This is what you’re supposed to get excited about.” He said seemingly to no one but his own stolen dick as he returned his attention to the hot chicks on the screen. “Tits and pussy.”
The first few times he jacked off he found it tough to get fully hard due to his current body’s innate gay urges. Thankfully it got easier with each load he busted to the sight of huge tits. Almost like he was shooting out this body’s homosexuality in small doses with each orgasm. This of course only spurred Kent on more. Jerking off Henry’s once gay dick to the thought and sight of women every single night. After that it wasn’t long before the coach had fully conditioned his new cock to get incredibly hard at the sight of women and only women. He was proud to finally have a straight dick again that craved tits and pussy, like he believed all men should have.
But what happened to the real Henry during all this? Well his soul was cursed to be suppressed and trapped inside his own mind. He could see and hear everything but had zero control over what Coach Kent did and said with his body. Kent was in the driver's seat permanently. Henry tried to fight it but there was nothing he could do. Only being able to watch and feel as Kent forced him to workout and be an asshole to his friends. Forced to be a spectator as Kent redecorated his bedroom by ripping down the Star Wars posters in favour of putting up posters of footballers and women in skimpy bikinis. The Coach even went as far as to sell Henry’s comic collection and figures to make money and room for some new weights and home exercise equipment.
“Maybe I can make something outta this shitty body and life after all.” Kent would comment, looking at all the changes he’d made for the better so far. He still had a long way to go if he wanted to transform Henry’s life into the alpha male jock life he’d wanted to relive but it was a good start.
———
Jumping back to the present, Kent had finally gotten his new body into pretty decent shape with some good muscle and size showing. He managed to fill out most of the clothes that’d been baggy on Henry before and some he’d even had to trade for a size larger. His biceps were showing at last and his pecs were starting to come in nicely. Henry's once skinny legs were now looking a fair bit meatier. Not to mention his back and shoulders looking noticeably broader, giving him a far more masculine build. Naturally he still wanted to get much bigger but at least now he felt as though he could look in the mirror and see a real man staring back at him.
In this time he’d even signed up to the college football team at the start of the academic year where he was able to make some new bro friends. Though it a little strange for a couple reasons. One being that most of his new bros were players that he used to Coach before the takeover. The other reason being that most of them also used to bully the old Henry and make fun of him and his former queer friends. That said they gave Kent a hard time at first. Not that Kent minded. If anything he was glad that the young jocks he used to coach weren’t going easy on someone they believed to be a worthless faggot. It showed that he’d done a good job at raising them to be real men as well. And it also meant that he’d have to prove himself to them.
The attitudes of the other jocks began to turn around sooner than he expected. Mostly thanks to seeing the sudden shift in Henry’s attitude to become a jock like them. It wasn’t long before they started to admit how they were actually pretty impressed by the gains he’d made and that he was maybe cooler than they’d originally given him credit for. Especially now that he’d stopped hanging around those losers he was with before. What had earned their respect the most however was how well Kent played on the field with them during practice. By all accounts Henry should’ve been a complete amateur but with Kent in the driver's seat he had decades worth of experience that allowed him to keep pace with the other jocks.
Once again through it all the real Henry was helpless as he watched himself be transformed into even more of a typical straight jock with everyday that passed. Being forced to watch himself become ‘bros’ with the other jocks that he detested. Fist bumping and bro hugging them whenever he saw them whether it be at the gym, football practice or elsewhere on campus. He’d even been forced to use the same kind of dumb brotalk that all the jocks used. And of course joining in alongside them as they hurled homophobic insults towards the types of people he’d have been great friends with before. It was torturous!
The most torturous part for Henry however was the way Kent saw Women. He constantly found himself disgusted at the way Kent used his voice to talk about ‘hot chicks’ to his new bros. Describing how fat their tits and asses were to them and how he’d wanted to bend them over rail their tight pussies. Henry was disgusted at hearing the words leave his mouth. He would never have agreed with objectifying women like this. Yet now he found himself unwillingly staring at the huge racks of any sexy babes around the campus and feeling his bulge growing at the sight.
Tonight however was the night both Coach Kent had been waiting for and Henry had been dreading. Since getting into much better shape, girls around the campus had begun to take interest in the new, confident jock on the football team. Noticing this, Kent thought it was about time to shoot his shot and landed the number of one of the art students Talia. She had a reputation of being one of the “hottest chicks on campus” so when the other Jocks heard they all crowded around ‘Henry’ while jumping and cheering for him. That certainly boosted Kent’s ego for the first time in a while since taking his new body.
After a couple dates, Talia was finally coming over to Henry’s place for the night and wouldn’t you know it before long the two began pulling off each other's clothes. On the inside Henry was cringing, wanting nothing more than for this to stop and take back control of his body and life. Unfortunately on the outside his cock was rock hard as Kent was busily sucking on Talia’s tits while massaging and fingering her pussy like a pro.
“Oh my godddd…” Talia whined lustfully. “Where’d you learn how to touch a girl like that?” She asked between bated breaths. Going on to imply that no other guy she’d been with had been nearly this good at pleasuring her.
“Dunno.” Kent shrugged with a sly smirk. “Just instinct I guess.” He answered playfully before burying his face between her tits again, of course not revealing that in reality he had many decades worth of experience.
Henry’s protest became more and more frantic as things started to heat up. He was begging for it to stop when Talia wrapped her lips around his cock and began to stop but the only things that left his mouth were the soft grunts that the Coach let out. But when the busty college girl laid herself out on the bed, legs spread eagerly, Henry was reduced to screaming ‘NO! NO! NO!’ Over and over again. But his protests fell on deaf ears as they always did. Completely powerless to stop Kent as he their cock up with Talia’s slick entrance. And for the first time in his life, Henry felt himself plunge his cock deep inside a wet welcoming pussy.
“Fuuuuuuckkkk yeahhhhhhhh…” Kent growled at the familiar feeling. Also enjoying the subtle differences in how it felt fucking with a different cock to his previous one.
Henry tried his best to fight against it. To rebel and protest but nothing worked. He couldn’t even stop himself from moaning internally at the feeling of being inside a pussy. After all he could still feel all the same pleasure as Coach Kent pumped in and out rhythmically while groaning out in Henry’s noticeably deeper voice. The thrusts grew faster and more aggressive as the two changed positions a couple times. It wasn’t until Kent had already fucked Talia so good that she’d orgasms all over his dick that he could feel a load welling up in his balls. Something Henry was terrified about. Yet, a few more powerful thrusts and a long groan later, Henry found himself being forced to do something he never thought he would. Pumping a tight pussy nice full with his thick potent load.
In that moment something changed. The Coach was still in complete control but suddenly the real Henry found his mind linking up to Kent’s. Like the act of breeding a woman had left them both in such bliss, whether the real Henry had wanted it or not, that it allowed them to become truly intertwined. After that Henry found himself in a daze internally as Kent’s very soul weaved itself around Henry’s, corrupting him slowly but surely.
‘Maybe I like pussy after all…’ Henry would soon start to think, oblivious to what was happening to him. ‘Maybe being a football jock isn’t so bad…’ Tye corruption would spread as his old sense of sense began to dwindle. Little did he know that soon his individuality would be wiped without a trace. His consciousness would become like a mirror to Coach Kent’s until Henry was more than happy to go along with anything Kent had them do. Whether that be sports, joining the fraternity and fucking busty bimbo’s left and right.
And after that Henry would be consumed entirely, leaving only Kent and his new body…
#male body theft#identity theft#male possession#male takeover#nerd to jock#gay to straight#breeder tf#mental change#forced possession#unintentional#plan gone wrong#mental corruption#middle aged to young adult#possession by clothing#coach#magic
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being a bau agent is draining not only physically but mentally. that’s why spencer is so glad to have you waiting for him on his arrival home. he comes to the door of your apartment and unlocks the door as quietly as he can trying not to wake you. the creaky door opens as spencer tiptoes in to find you laying on the sofa in a new pink set of pajamas you bought while he was away. he tells you to stop waiting up for him after every trip but you never listen.
having your boyfriend be gone for so long was always left you feeling sad and bored. the days seemed to pass by at a snails pace. to pass time awaiting his return you baked cookies, shopped, and simply laid around. spencer’s favorite part about being gone is the little pictures you’d send him throughout the day. little snapshots of you in your skimpy little outfits doing your daily tasks. the team catches his little smirks at his phone resulting in a smart remark from derek. “what’s got you smiling pretty boy?” he peers over seeing one of your pictures shining on the doctor’s phone.
a large grin covers derek’s face as he slaps spencer’s shoulders exclaiming, “MY MAN!”
finishing up his shower he slips on his pajamas and walks out to the living room to find you on the couch still. without trying to wake you he goes to sit. as soon as he hits the sofa your head pops up like you could sense his presence. missing no beat you jump from your cushion onto your beloved boyfriends lap and begin covering his face with kisses.
“ohhhh my baby boy is back. i missed you so so so so muccchhh. i was so bored without you here.” you exclaimed as he wrapped your legs around his waist.
“missed you too princess.” spencer softly murmurs against your lips. having you in his arms makes him feel like a huge burden has been lifted off his shoulders. feeling tension he had in his body you begin rubbing up and down his back and begin whispering softly to him. “you okay baby? wanna talk about it?” you knew that some of the things he saw on the job really stuck with him. it worried you for his mental health but that’s something he always reassured you he was fine dealing with not wanting to worry you.
“i’m okay i’m okay. i promise. just want to talk to you. remember you promised me a fashion show from when you went shopping hm? i’m ready for it.” spencer stands up still holding you and heads towards the bedroom kissing you on your neck making you giggle.
no matter what he’d seen or done the days prior coming home to you made him forget it all. you were his little piece of goodness in the dark world that he worked in and he wouldn’t change that for the world.
#spencer reid x black!reader#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fic#criminal minds#fluff#black reader
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Jessie’s Girl
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁, 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿, 𝘀𝗺𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 (𝗰𝗶𝗴𝘀)
𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗻𝘁: 𝟰.𝟱𝗸
the third chapter of Open Til Midnight
June 23, 1979.
You and Eddie were at Skull Rock. Fourteen years young and laying back on a blanket, snacking and listening to Black Sabbath together. Eddie’s got his vest off, sewing a new patch onto it.
“Motörhead.”
“Yeah. Can you believe I got this at the fabric store. Kenny made it for me.” He smiles as he sews the patch on.
“Wish we could see them live. No way would they ever come here.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t even think they know Hawkins exists.”
You look over him. Eddie’s changed from a punk to thrash guy. His curls moving with every head shake to the music. “Your hair’s growing so long.”
“Yeah. Wayne says I’m starting to look more and more like my mom. Think he just wanted an excuse to say I look ridiculous again.”
You laugh. “You know he means well.”
“Yeah.. think he’s just tired of buying new shampoo. Not like he needed any hair cair.” He snorts.
“You tried another shampoo?” That’s the third one this month. Eddie just wants to make sure his mane smells good. He remembers in those interviews on Mtv that girls are attracted to rockstars and hire they smell, what they wear, what they play. With his new hairdo, new hellfire tees and promised gigs at the hideout on tuesdays, he was on the route to that dream.
“I did.” He smirks, proud of himself. “Go on give it a whiff.”
You lean in and his curls tickle your nose. You hum. “Blueberries?”
He nods. “And..”
“Something minty.” You raise a brow. “Peppermint?”
“Lemon mint.” He smiles. “What do you think?”
You giggle. “Think I have the same one.”
His eyes widen. “You’re joking right?”
“Wish I were. You’re swooning ladies with their own shampoo, Eddie.” You giggle and he shakes his head.
“Blasphemy. The bottle was in the men’s section.”
“Yeah but did you read the bottle? Did it say mens?”
“I just smelled it and put it in the cart.” He smiles at your laughter, now laughing at himself. “Damn. I can’t win can I?”
“Well you’re still new to having hair this long. And you’ve got all summer to rebirth yourself.”
“Damn straight, princess. And we’re gonna go through high school like nothing. Me and the boys can rehearse and have some real campaigns now that we’ve got the club. And since we’ve got gigs at the Hideout maybe we’ll finally be seen. Gonna focus on getting signed. Getting out of here.”
You love when Eddie gets like this. Talking about his dreams for Corroded Coffin. For his band.
“Leaving me so soon?” You nudge his foot with yours and he returns the gesture.
“I’m offended.” He clutches his chest yet again. “You think i’d let you stay here? No. Screw that, you’d be with us all the time.”
You can’t help but smile. “You are the sappiest metalhead I know. Nerdiest too.”
“Nerds have more fun.“ He winks at you. “And if im a sap so be it. You’re my best friend and you’re always here for me. We’re a package deal, sweetheart, no matter what.”
You grin. “No matter what.”
Best friends. A package deal. You and Eddie were and still are, inseparable. You swore that you’d always be there for each other no matter what, which is why Eddie’s disturbed today. He can’t stop thinking about how weird you were, how avoidant you behaved before leaving his apartment yesterday. He knew something was wrong but he didn’t want to pry. Not when there’s bigger things to focus on.
As you organize the cds, you try to focus on literally anything to get your mind off of Eddie. The ding of the door when a customer walks in, the sound of the Talking Heads from the store speakers, the annoying baby crying in his mother’s arms from the Fleetwood Mac section.
All you see is Eddie. His hair, his body, his face in those pictures. His lips so pink and arms so toned. Maybe he has been working out. Those jeans made his thighs looks so good, that slim waist.. you inly imagined how good his ass looked in them. And seeing him naked like that. His scarce happy trail leading down to his-
“Found it. Thought this broke ages ago but I can take it to Argyle’s buddy, see if he can check it out.” Jonathan says as he holds a half damaged amp from the break room.
“Looks good enough to sell. Did you check for any plugs?”
“No but im taking Robin and Steve to three different pawn shops so if we get a good deal just call.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you after.”
You head to the register to take up for Robin while she leaves. Selling the old amps and guitars, different things you don’t use anymore from the storage space next to the store. It’s an easy way to add cash to your current savings. You just hope it’s enough.
~~~~
Your shift is going nice. It’s an easy one. Monday’s usually are. Inventory is done, customers come and go and you enjoy your spot at the register, talking with different customers and introducing them to new music.
Chrissy walks up to the counter. “Hey, i’m taking lunch so Eddie’s gonna cover for me up here.”
Eddie. Just great. You hadn’t spoken to him since yesterday after seeing those pictures.
“Okay.”
She smirks and looks in the rock section. You think Eddie’s standing there but no, it’s someone else but still, someone familiar.
“That cute blonde guy’s back again.” She smiles and looks at you.
“He always comes on mondays.” You nod and shrug, not thinking much of him.
“I know. He flirts with you every monday.” She grins, with a suggestive look in her eyes.”
“Is it flirting if I don’t reciprocate?.”
“Yes.” She smiles. “Come on, you haven’t had a date since when?”
Since last October. You found him hooking up with some other girl, she looked nothing like you. And you honestly didn’t know if that hurt you more or relieved you.
“Give it a rest, chris. He’s a customer and I am not interested in some random guy-“
“Could I get one of those Springsteen pins?” He smiles, vinyls in hand and a cute grin on his face.
He’s got the cutest nose and blue eyes so captivating, the ocean would be jealous. Maybe it is. His beachy waves of blonde hang over his forehead a bit.
You grab the pin and grin as he sets his yinyls on the counter. Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Madonna, Aerosmith. Of course he gets Aerosmith, he always does.
“Madonna?” You raise your brow.
“It’s for my sister.” He’s quick to respond. “But I do love a good material girl.”
“Can’t argue with that.” You smile, ignoring how Chrissy’s been glancing at the both of you from the record player behind the counter.
“That’s a nice ring you got there.” He nods at the silver ring on your left middle finger, a dark onyx gem in the center.
“Thanks, was a gift.”
You remember turning 20, and the big party you all threw here in this very store. Steve walked you out for a surprise lunch and when you came back, everyone had party hats and hung streamers. The store closed earlier that day as you all shared cake and drinks.
Everyone gave you their gifts at the party but Eddie waited to drive you home to give you his gift. The ring looked so expensive and he explained he saved up for it for months. When he slid it onto your finger it just made since, it was perfect. And you looked into each other’s eyes. You still remember what he told you that night in the van. His voice.
“Excuse me.”
His voice.
“Shit.. sorry.”
You move to the side to let him reach under the counter. Sharpie. More vinyls to be shipped out. Chrissy steps back to let Eddie key into the register since he’s next to check out customers here.
You bag up the customer’s cds and he hands you his cash.
“Will this be all?” You ask the blonde guy.
“Yeah,” he nods and takes the bag and his change from you. “Actually um, I just wanted to ask if you were busy. Tomorrow.”
Chrissy looks at Eddie. Eddie looks at your foot. Your boot tapping against the rug. Nerves. And he feels them too.
“Um.. well, I have to work, so..”
“What time do you get off?”
“Seven.” You nod.
“How about I pick you up? Take you for dinner?” He smiles.
Suddenly Eddie hates the color blue, seeing how the guy’s eyes light up when you say..
“Sure.”
He smiles. “Well great. I will.. i’ll see you then,” he looks at your nametag then saying your name.
“I’ll see you then..”
He smiles. “Jessie.”
You grin. “Bye Jessie.”
He leaves and goes out the door. Chrissy decides to leave to avoid the awkward conversation she knows is about to take place. You focus on your register as the space behind the counter feels smaller. You’ve told yourself too many times that Eddie is just your best friend and he definitely doesn’t see you like that. If he did, he would’ve made a move, and he hasn’t made a move. You needed something. Anything, to get your mind off of the pictures of Eddie that you saw. If it was a date with Jessie then so be it.
After some silence you Eddie speaks up, his voice a bit relaxed. Too relaxed.
“Dating the Aerosmith guy?”
“I guess dinner would be nice.” You look at him and he hasn’t looked up from the clipboard as he writes down the packages he’s signed and boxed up.
“He pulled the push door again on his way out.” The corner of his mouth lifts a bit as that familiar smug smirk starts to form.
You grin. “What are you keeping tabs on him?”
He huffs out a small laugh and shakes his head, his messy curls falling with each movement. He whips his hair back to look at you this time.
“Maybe I should if he’s taking my best friend on a date.”
You raise an eyebrow at him, crossing your arms. "Since when do you get all possessive?"
He leans against the counter, the smirk growing as he shrugs. "Since Aerosmith wannabes started sniffing around you."
You roll your eyes but the warmth rising in your cheeks betrays you. "It's just dinner, Eddie. And it's not like I need your approval."
He places a hand over his heart. "Approval? Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart. But a warning? Absolutely."
You raise a brow, trying to read him. It’s a bit impossible to right now. "And what exactly are you warning me about?"
He taps the clipboard against the counter, thinking for a second before locking eyes with you. "Those guys always have an angle. Dinner leads to dessert, dessert leads to backstage passes and before you know it, you're a line in one of their breakup ballads."
You can’t help but to laugh. “Are you telling me Corroded Coffin has lines about girls in their ballads?”
He chuckles. “Did you see any girls lined up to talk to us?”
“Well, not really.” You bite your lip. “You really think Jessie’s like that?”
Hearing you say his name scars Eddie but he’s playing it cool. “Don’t know. Just looking out for you, someone has to.”
You meet his gaze with a playful challenge in your eyes. "And what if I don't need looking out for? What if I like the idea of being a song lyric?"
He leans in closer, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine. "Then you're more reckless than I thought."
You swallow at the closeness and for a moment, the air between you changes. Charged and heavy like the static before a storm. His smirk falters for just a second, replaced by something softer, something... real. Something innocent. Those soft boyish features that hide how rowdy and chaotic he is.
A customer walks up to his register. He looks over your face and speaks lowly for only your ears. “Just be careful.”
He stands straight and greets the woman, ringing up her tapes and you swallow and stand in front of your register.
~~~~~
Tuesday. Four days until the first.
Steve managed to get a decent six hundred for a box of some of his old sneakers. Jonathan and Robin made four hundred and thirty seven dollars for the amps and an old acoustic guitar. You added the cash together from Hopper’s pile and the college dealings you and Eddie did on Sunday.
You sit in the break room, counting the cash as you hear a curse from the restroom.
You call out. “Are you okay?”
“Uh.. all good , sweetheart.”
The door’s cracked open so you take a break and walk over, walking in after he tells you to. You gasp, seeing he has scissors in his hand, his thumb bleeding as he sucks his wounded finger.
“What the hell are you doing?!” You quickly grab the scissors.
“Just a trim.” Eddie winces and reaches for the first aid kit.
You take out the bandages and shake your head. “To your bangs? You’ve actually lost your mind.”
He flips on the sink and washes his hands. Drying them and taking the bandaid from you. “Thanks mom, but I think i’ve got it.”
Your brows furrow. “But you always let me trim your hair.”
He shrugs and looks away. “Didn’t think you wanted to.”
You couldn’t blame him for how he felt. You just pull him to sit on the lid of the toilet seat and take out the scissors. He gives a small nod of surrender, letting you do as you please. You stand between his legs and get to trimming.
You speak softer. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more communicative.”
“You don’t need to apologize, princess. Just.. worried I made you upset or something.”
You raise a brow. “Why would I be upset?”
He looks up at you. “The party.”
Your eyes widen a bit. The college party? “What do you mean?”
He fiddles with the rips in his jeans a bit. “You really dont remember?”
He’s hesitant and that worries you a bit. “Eddie what happened?”
He speaks in a tone so low as if to save you embarrassment from each other. “You know, when you tried to kiss me.”
What?
“What?”
“When you had that smirnoff and we sold the last bag of K, you like.. grabbed my face and pulled me down.” He looks away.
“Oh I.. I didn’t know-“
“It’s okay. I know you were pretty drunk you had like ten of those things.” He sighs. “I guess I just.. when you tried to kiss me I kinda grabbed your hands and told you to stop. I thought you might’ve been pissed at me and left in a hurry on Sunday.”
You can’t believe yourself right now. Wanting to kiss Eddie? Hell yes. But making him feel like your behavior was his fault and not due to your own discovery? Not in a million years.
“No. Eddie I, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get handsy or weird. It’s just.. so much going on. I feel like shit.”
He looks up at you. “I don’t mind at all. I get you wanted to get drunk and forget about your worries for a bit. I just can’t stand the way things are right now.” You watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “I miss you.”
You look back into his eyes. “I miss you too, Eddie.”
He sighs and stands up, pulling you into a hug in which you happily and quickly return. It feels good being this close to him. His hair tickling your skin, the warmth of his body, his scent. That scent.
He raises a brow when he feels your body tremble from holding in a laugh. “What?”
You laugh. “Blueberries and lemon mint!”
He laughs along with you. “Damn, I feel exposed princess. You’re being a bad friend.”
“You still use that same shampoo?”
“Hey it hasn’t failed me in the ten years that i’ve been using it and I plan on keeping it that way.” He points a finger at you so you point one back.
You grin, leaning closer as your finger playfully taps his. "Ten years, huh? That's commitment. You might be more loyal to that shampoo than anything else in your life."
He chuckles, dropping his hand but not stepping away from you. "Maybe. But hey if it smells good and works why change it?"
You tilt your head, your smile softening as you study him. “Fair enough.” You sit the scissors down as he rakes his fingers through his hair.
“You look really nice today.” He says a bit sheepishly.
You do. After all, you had a date tonight. You wanted to make an impression. Since you and Jessie agreed on a casual night out you wore a brand new pair of light wash jeans, the bootcut ones that show off your curves in the best way. Your pretty white notched Twisted Sister tee and your hair beautifully worn to your liking.
“Thanks. I mean, I didn’t wanna scare him away on the first date with a shit ton of eyeliner or some demonia’s.”
“If that scares any guy away then he’s blind.”
You smile, cheeks tinged with heat. “Thanks, Eddie.”
“Promise me if things get weird you’ll call me.”
“I promise.”
“Good.” He gives a small grin. “I would hate to show blondie the beast.”
“The beast?” You laugh. “Eddie, have you ever actually won a fight?”
He gasps dramatically, clutching his chest. "I'll have you know I almost won plenty of fights, thank you very much."
You laugh, shaking your head. "Almost doesn't count, Eddie."
He narrows his eyes playfully, leaning against the counter. "Alright princess, remind me never to count on you for moral support.” He straightens up a bit. “But seriously. If he does anything sketchy, call me. I'll be there in ten minutes. Fifteen if traffic sucks but i’ll be there.”
“Thanks, Eddie.” You grin.
He shrugs, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a half smile. "Anytime. Just don't forget about us regular folk when blondie sweeps you off your feet."
You roll your eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. No one's sweeping me anywhere.”
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
You lock eyes for a second. A warmth there that had been missing for a few days. So you almsot drunk kissed him and saw his pics, big whoop. If Eddie could move on from the avoidance so can you. The sweet moment is interrupted when Robin speaks over the intercom.
“Dingus needed at the register, the doors are now open.”
You both laugh.
“Duty calls,” he says, pushing off the counter and backing up to the door. "And remember, if he so much as looks at you wrong-"
"I know, I know," you interrupt with a laugh. "The beast will be unleashed."
"Damn right," he says, flashing you a grin before the door shuts behind him.
~~~~~
It was a nice day. No rude customers, your friendships were all good, and when you finished counting up the money you were closing in on having over five thousand. It’s only half, but it’s more than you started with before. But you promised yourself to focus on one thing tonight.
Jessie.
He’d taken you to a small bar with live music and then you grabbed dinner at the diner. You two got along well, talking rock music and careers. He was nice, a gentleman. He seemed pretty perfect. Too perfect. You two sit in the booth as you wait for dessert.
“I wanted to ask you something.” He sits up.
“Okay.”
He hesitates, not sure how to begin. But he does it anyways. “I come to the store a lot and well.. you dress differently a lot. I thought you were like some kind of goth or something.”
You smile. “Well I like goth music too but metal’s got my heart through and through.”
“Right but uh,” he shifts a bit in his seat and shrugs. “I mean you’re still normal to me, you know? Not like the rest of that crowd.”
You wait for the waitress to walk away after bringing your desserts. Jessie got cheesecake and you went for a milkshake per usual. Once she walks away you speak up.
“Rest of the crowd, huh?”
“Yeah. Like this really weird girl at my campus, she paints her face white and wears a bunch of pentagrams.” He hums and snaps. “And that one guy at Empire, with the messy hair? He’s got like some weird tattoos. I think one’s the devil-“
“It’s a horned demon from a board game.” You say softly, trying not to show how offended you feel.
“Yeah but, I don’t know. Just saying you’re not like them. At all.”
You stir your milkshake with the straw, forcing a tight smile as your stomach twists uncomfortably. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Jessie leans back in his side of the booth, completely oblivious to your growing irritation. "I mean you're normal. You know, you don't go overboard with all that creepy goth stuff. You've got style, but you're not like... a freak." He laughs like he's made some kind of joke, but the sound grates against your nerves.
Freaks. What they called you and your friends in school. Years later and now on this date it all feels the same. So infuriating.
You put your milkshake down, suddenly finding it hard to look at him. "You know, some of us freaks actually like that 'creepy goth stuff," you say, trying to keep your tone light, though the edge in your voice betrays you.
Jessie raises an eyebrow. "Oh, come on. You know I didn't mean you. You're cool. But those people? They're just... weird. It's not normal."
You sit back on your end this time and cross your arms. “Define normal, Jessie. Because I'm pretty sure painting your face and having tattoos doesn't make someone less of a person."
He looks genuinely baffled, like he has no idea why you're upset. "I don't know, it's just... people like that are trying too hard, you know? Like they want attention or something. But not you, you're different."
"Sure," you say, your voice colder now. "I'm different because I tone it down for people like you, right?"
Jessie stares at you, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "What? No! I just meant you're not... extreme like them."
You sigh and rub your temple. “Jessie I.. I should go.”
His brows furrow. “What?”
“Those freaks are my friends. The people I love and consider family. And i’m not gonna sit here and let you badmouth us because you can’t accept that not everyone is a conventional as little perfect Jessie.”
You slap a ten on the table for your meal and stand, walking away before he could say anything else. Assholes like Jessie and Larry get away with everything and you’ve had enough. You just wanted comfort. Someone who got you, someone who would never judge you, never disappoint you.
You think of the one person who’s always been there. Inserting a coin into the phone booth you call him.
~~~~~
“What a dick.” Eddie says, puffing out a cloud of smoke from his cigarette as he drives you in his van.
“It’s okay. Just.. glad that’s over.”
Eddie smirks. He figures you could use a laugh. “You know.. when he picked you up, we were being nice but the second he pulled of Robin thought it was a good idea to play Jessie’s Girl on the speakers.”
You laugh. “Oh i’m gonna kill her.”
“Kill Steve, he was really into it.” He chuckles and starts to dance. “He hit us with this move.” He wiggles his hips in his seat and shakes his shoulders.
You laugh. “You know what, you guys are so not funny.”
He smiles. “Sorry, princess. Can’t help but to tease you for going on a date with that goofball.”
"Yeah, yeah," you reply, rolling your eyes but unable to hide your grin. "You're all comedians. Real original."
Eddie chuckles again, flicking the ash from his cigarette out the window. "I mean come on princess, you can do better."
You lean back in your seat, crossing your arms "Oh, and who exactly should I be going out with? Got any suggestions, Munson?"
He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, his smirk faltering just for a moment before returning full force. "I don't know, maybe someone who won't make Robin crank up Rick Springfield to cope."
You laugh again, shaking your head. "That's a pretty low bar."
"Exactly," he says, flashing you a cheeky grin.
"You deserve a guy who actually likes what you like. Someone cool. Someone, dare I say… metal." He emphasizes the word with a dramatic air guitar move, almost swerving the van in the process.
"Jesus, Eddie! Watch the road!" you yell, clutching the door for support.
He laughs, straightening the wheel. "Relax, princess. I got it under control. Besides, you're safe with me."
You give him a skeptical look, but his words linger in the air longer than you expected. Safe. Judgement free, laughing, smiling, safe with Eddie. There's something about the way he says it so casually but full of weight that makes your stomach flutter.
You clear your throat, looking out the window to avoid his gaze. "Well, maybe next time you can pick my date. Since you're such an expert on who I should be with."
He grins but doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes another drag of his cigarette, the soft glow of it illuminating his face from the night sky. "Maybe I will," he says finally, his tone teasing but with a silent edge you can't quite place.
You glance at him and raise a brow. "I'm not sure if I should be terrified or intrigued."
Eddie smirks, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music playing softly from the radio. "A little bit of both, princess. Keeps things interesting."
You shake your head, fighting the smile creeping onto your lips. "You're impossible."
"I prefer the term eccentric," he shoots back, flashing you another grin.
You smile, enjoying the ride and the music and Eddie. It’s how things have always been. How things should always be. Forget the shitty date and the corporate assholes that have been ruining your month. This moment here with Eddie is all you need to keep going.
taglist: @pupwrites @sheneedsrocknroll92 @koshkahhh @kthomps914
#joseph quinn#eddie munson#corroded coffin#hellfire club#stranger things#eddie the banished#eddie the freak munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie munson series#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#eddie munson x female character#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson x female reader
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YOU HAVE A BIG HEAD! NO I DONT!
One shot
Azzi crosses her arms, resisting the urge to roll her eyes as Paige continues her antics. She holds up the picture of her face, her voice mocking, “You have a big head!” Then, without missing a beat, she holds up Azzi’s picture, this time making it say in her high-pitched tone, “No, I don’t.”
Azzi’s patience is wearing thin. “Paige!” she snaps, trying to keep her voice steady but the irritation clear. She gives Paige a warning look that would stop anyone else in their tracks, but not Paige. The girl is like a caffeinated squirrel on a sugar high, running off vibes Azzi can’t even begin to understand.
Azzi forces herself to breathe slowly. She can’t stand the chaos right now, the constant energy from Paige a stark contrast to her own desperately needed rest. Her hands ball into fists for a second, and she honestly wants to punch the grinning Paige just to knock some sense into her.
“Seriously,” Azzi mutters under her breath, half to herself and half to the universe.
The crew’s laughter doesn’t help. Paige’s energy is contagious—just not in a way Azzi can appreciate right now.
“Alright, guys, you ready?” the cameraman asks, adjusting the lights. “We’ve got everything set up. We’ll read out the questions, and you just hold up the picture of who you think it most relates to.”
Azzi nods, trying to shake off the tiredness. “Sounds good,” she says, bracing herself.
Paige, of course, has other plans. She mimics Azzi’s tone, holding up Azzi’s picture with a mischievous grin. “Sounds good,” she teases, in an exaggerated version of Azzi’s voice.
Azzi exhales sharply, turning to Paige with a look of pure exhaustion. “I hate you,” she mutters, her eyes heavy with the weight of the morning.
Paige responds instantly, as if this is a well-worn routine. “No, you don’t,” she says, matter-of-factly, as if nothing’s out of the ordinary.
The rest of the filming went smoothly, at least as far as Azzi could tell. She tried to stay focused, answering questions as honestly as she could, but the whole time, Paige was… well, being Paige. It wasn’t necessarily that Paige’s answers were wrong—it was that they were well wrong.
Take the “messy” question, for example. Azzi knew exactly how it went. The moment they hit the question about cleanliness, Paige—who had a tendency to leave her things scattered around like a tornado had passed through her room—flashed that innocent grin and held Azzi picture up confidently .
Azzi rolled her eyes internally. If anyone had seen Paige’s room—well, they’d know better. It was basically a war zone of clothes, empty coffee cups, and papers everywhere. Just ask Nika. She had walked in there once and almost tripped over a pile of laundry. Azzi had to bite back a laugh, but she wasn’t about to call Paige out on camera. Sike that exactly what she did.
After the filming wrapped, Paige turned to Azzi as they walked out. “I hate you, huh?” she asked with a sly grin.
Azzi rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips. She gave Paige a light shove. “Oh, shut up,” she muttered, her tone a mix of irritation and affection.
Paige’s grin widened as she switched to full-on doe eyes, dramatically batting her lashes. “Would you like me more if I bought you food?”
Azzi raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. “Actually, it would,” she said, already heading to the passenger side of the car.
Paige followed, still flashing that overly sweet expression, as if a meal could erase all the chaos she’d just caused. Azzi got in, shaking her head in mock exasperation but secretly looking forward to the food.
As Paige pulled out of the parking lot, she couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the day. Paige, glancing over at her, raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Be honest,” she said, leaning a little closer. “Do you stay with me because I buy you food, have heated car seats, amazing music taste, and a closet you can ransack?”
Azzi didn’t even hesitate. “Yes,” she said with a grin, already reaching for the radio to turn on some music.
Paige’s jaw literally dropped in disbelief. “Wait, what?” she sputtered, looking utterly stunned.
Azzi just laughed, cranking up the volume and singing along to Sia on the radio, her voice off-key but full of energy. Paige sat there for a moment, still processing, before shaking her head with a smile.
“you have a big head” “no, I don’t”
Azzi is so done with her 😭
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Hihi y’all made it be a funny number
#it might be changed by now tbh#but i still got a picture of it and that’s all that matters to me#edit after i woke up a bit: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK#guys please calm down i’m. HUH??#cable stupids#milestones#(but silly)
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Not publishing the ask yet because I want to reply with the playlist but I have to comment on it because
Anon. You just gave the biggest neuron activation.
IT'S 2 AM. BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WHEN I'M THINKING ABOUT THEM.
#I have so many thoughts and none of them are coherent#srmthfg#it's just- they make me a little insane sometimes#especially after ghost in the machine (was that what that episode was called. I think it was that)#what if you had a crush on the second in command for ages but never had the guts to actually confess#because he's always focused on the bigger picture and the job and all the things that are More Important#AND THEN HE FUCKING DIES RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES. WITHOUT YOU BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT#listen to me. I don't usually have many problems with the show. but I do think the semi comedic tone of savage lands part 1#was kind of weird sandwiched between all the serious stuff. I understand wanting some levity but everything is in the shit#so. allow me to make it angsty in a gay way. let me indulge for two seconds#WHAT IF YOU SO DESPERATELY WISHED HE SAW YOU AS HIS THIRD IN COMMAND#even if it doesn't matter now that he's gone. you want to think he'd give you that. that he saw you that way#and then he comes back... and you find out that he didn't#but also- he came back a robot. so is it really him? can you trust this illusion just because it talks and walks like him?#even if he isn't... could you ever leave him behind?#WHAT IF HE HELD YOU SO TENDERLY AFTER YOU SAVED HIM AND CARRIED YOU BACK TO SAFETY. WHAT THEN#(blatantly ignores all the spove in ghost in the machind)#WHAT IF YOU GOT TRAPPED IN A MUSEUM AND BECAME COWBOYS. I LOVE COWBOYS#I'm sorry. I'm still kind of sick and thus not fully sane#I promise I'm normal about the monkeys
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Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.
#i still cringe to call myself 'poor' bc i have my own apartment and can afford groceries#and even fun stuff like museums and cafe visits and public transport sometimes#but the reality of the matter is that after i pay off my student loans every month#i do not have enough money left to pay the following month's rent#and that's the way it's been my whole life#all my groceries and museum visits and coffee come from those few hundred euros left over#my whole life i've been choosing between 'having savings' and 'having even the smallest most humble life' and obviously i choose the latter#i never go to the movies#i buy all my clothes second hand (got some this past month after not having bought any new clothing in almost two years)#i have visited a museum TWICE this year#i go to restaurants like... once a month max#i am living the most frugal life that i possibly can without denying myself all pleasures#i don't even have netflix or anything like that! i only very rarely order delivery! i cook my own damn meals!#you get the picture#and yet still: one single missed paycheck is enough to potentially fuck up my life seriously#i've never missed a rent payment in my life but i'm scared it may happen this time#just wrote to HR of my former employer (who is supposed to still be paying me through october) to politely ask where my paycheck is#it's probably coming today (i sure as hell hope so) but if it doesn't... i legit don't know how i'm going to pay my rent#my rent is 673 euros and i only have 400 in my bank account#i probably have enough food in my pantry to survive for a month if i had to#but i've never missed rent in germany before (or ever) and i have no idea how long they'd wait before evicting me for non-payment#i'm scared. and i'm tired of being apparently the only fucking person in my social groups who is this poor#i am an over-educated 37-year-old professional who typically gets classed with the 'expats'#but one missed salary payment has me thinking about eviction and affording groceries#this is what i mean when i say i'm an immigrant. not an expat.#those people with their apple watches and co-working spaces and spontaneous trips to thailand or brazil are... a world apart from me#how come everyone i meet is so damn rich? where do i find fellow poor friends?#anyway i'm stressed. and i'm so so tired of spending my mental energy worrying about money#cosmo gyres#personal
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Attempted to do a photoshoot for the one and only cosplay I'll probably ever do and. These are the only pictures I got that matter
#there were a lot of blurrier ones that were completely incomprehensible lmao#i did also get some decent serious ones but. idk if i'll post them/might save them for halloween or something. we'll see#i dont like taking pics of myself and i dont like sharing my face on the internet. it just so happens this particular character has bangs#and also sunglasses so it works out#nicholas d wolfwood#cosplay#trigun#rosie posting#cats of tumblr#i love my girl so so much. but lord she love gettin all in my business when im tryna do shit ykwim#taking pictures or drawing or whatever tf. it dont matter. she must be in the way <3#i went to put my clothes away and like. sure it's a relatively cheap suit but it still cost a good amount#and this goddamn cat is swiping and pouncing on my clothes as im tryna put em away like 😭😭😭😭 GIRL#anyway pretend ww has uhh curly hair. and literally no jawline. and also a normal/fat waist. and a thick ass neck jesus lordt#that's what my ww looks like <3 sowwy that's just how im built lmao#oh and the wrong nose. i have the wrong nose for every anime character 😔#bitch ass half white half pinoy got me out here lookin like a gotdamned Freak lol <3#the absurd amount of cookies in the past week probs hasnt been helping#i live alone and shit's hard yo 😭😭#this also means i took all my goddamn photos myself and thus. the excessive cat bombing <3
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...
#not that it matters but i don't think silver springs guy actually got married?????#we have five million mutual friends and none of them posted ANYTHING about the wedding and like. these people post whenever they go anywher#every other wedding they've gone to they've posted about#and maybe this is very chronically online of me but none of them even posted congratulations on facebook???? the number one place people#post about weddings??????#and this is not in an 'ohmygosh maybe i still have a CHANCE' stupid way#i wouldn't get together with this guy if he BEGGED me-not that he would lololol#but i *was* looking forward to the closure of seeing him happily married#and now maybe he isn't#i hope for his sake it worked out and they're happy and that when we see each other again some day that there's no pain for either of us#but yeah it's weird#i was sorta expecting to see all these pictures roll in over social media#and then...nada#lilac's silver springs chronicles
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hold on im still too mad at this one fucking guest to take a nap i need to be a hater for a minute
#so when i say hell on earth kinda day i mean HELL ON EARTH kinda day#we had a large bus travel group from slovakia and then some other guests and it was almost a hundred people for breakfast#the bus group all came at the same time they descended onto the buffet like fucking seagulls i swearrrrr#and i divided tasks like i had two helpers with me in the kitchen so one guys job was just to gather dirty dishes + washing + taking clean#ones back out#and the other guy running around the buffet checking whats needed + restockjng the cold food + telling me all the hot stuff that needs#refilling. so i was in the kitchen making all the hot foods on constant rotation + chopping fruits and making smoothies and shit#and like we managed. WE MANAGED. the buffet was never even half empty at any point like yes there was always something that was empty but#dude who cares if the vanilla yoghurt is empty for 5 mins just pick something else.#and everyone was happy with their breakfast and really nice when asking if we have more of this and that etc and then there was one lady#this ONE FUCKINGGGG lady i swear i almost threw hands#she was complaining about everythinggggggggggg#about there not being any more fried eggs (already in the pan. done in 2 mins. but when helper nr2 told her that she said well why did we#run put in the first place) about the bread station being full of crumbs like girl its BREAD. my giy was running up and down the buffet#wiping it off and cleaning as fast as he could but if you allow people to cut their own bread there will be fucking crumbs. the fuck.#then she also didnt like how the butter looked bc OBV people kept using the butter and no matter how many times you go in and make it look#neat again as soon as the next person takes some it will not look picture perfect anymore#like while i was running back and forth restocking stuff with my arms full she TOOK MY ARM and pointed at things and was like#'this looks shit' so does your fucking face but you dont see me getting physical about it#and then when i came out with a big tray of fresh glasses and cups she pointed to where someone had spilled some water at the dispenser and#went 'there is water on the buffet' (far away from any food + literally its just water) and i said 'yes i know' and she goes 'well it doesnt#look very appealing. this is the worst buffet ive ever seen' and i go 'well surely you have seen how busy we are' and she FUCKING GOES#'i dont care. i paid money for this.' and i go 'well that makes two of us for not caring. we'll get to it when we have the time.' and she#said something else idk what bc i was finished with my task and had SHIT TO DO BC PPL WERE STILL EATING#so i just turned and ran back to the kitchen to keep working#actually i got back to the kitchen and said to guy nr1 'i need to go punch something' and then went out the back and started kicking the#shit out of a pile of paper boxes and THEN i continued working#and then she started TAKING PICTURES of everything she didnt like of the buffet like full offense i hope she gets hit by a bus#like with some people you can just tell they never worked a day in the service industry and no matter what you do theyll keep complaining#anyways :) tag limit. apparently. so its nap time now. honk shoo snork mimimi and so forth <3
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do you guys think I should actually start smiling while showing my teeth
#i NEVER smile with my mouth open because my teeth have gap between them and my dad won't let me get braces#i was begging him again recently and he was like okay fine but exam ke baad#and that's kinda..idk....i don't want to like go to work at some big corporate (hopefully) and have braces like a child#and my sister is so against them she says you don't need them at all because you literally look fine pretty even and#the right people won't care#it makes sense#i guess? idk#ive been trying to manao my dad since i was 15 so it's been 7 years now lol😭#idk i just got a new phone and i washed my hair and i was fucking around on snapchat because my sister wants to make#a streak with me so i sent her a picture of myself in her pajamas saying thank u for the gift 🤭#cause like lol TECHNICALLY she didn't give them to me she just left them here bc luggage was too heavy#i mean she did tell my mom that if if i want something let me take it but still hehe#so anyway i tried smiling with my teeth#and i rewatched xo kitty few days ago and kitty has gap bw her teeth too but she's so pretty ive never thought#that it made her ugly or anything#and i think i looked fine too? idk#i mean it's definitely the snap filters too lol making my skin all clear and glowy but idk idk#is it really okay and ive been making it up all in my head????#i mean i know perfect teeth would be prettier definitely but like that's not the point the point my family have been trying#to tell me that it doesn't matter because looks don't matter#im just talking to myself btw
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@katkastrofa: *writes a single throwaway line in one chapter of Lost and Found that is never referenced again*
Me, completely randomly and with no prompting: Alright, bet–
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#as if I don’t have enough of those already#I really don’t know what possessed me here. I mean. sometimes my mind did drift to this mention of Zaheer’s sisters#because broken bonds is my absolute favourite LaF chapter. but I ever really thought of them that much since Kat never brought them up agai#and then about 24h ago I randomly remembered them again and was like. hey. p’li and ghazan’s sisters play a huge role in our stories#and ming-hua is an only child. so what of zaheer’s sisters? what are they like? do they ever cross his mind? are they aware of his crimes?#and in the afternoon I went digging through my art supplies bc I felt like painting and found my old 2020-2022 sketchbook with 2 empty page#so I thought. why not. it’s been a while since I’ve done traditional art. so I pulled up a reference of rich EK outfits from the artbooks#and got to work. drew this up in about half an hour? traditional sketching is a lot faster than digital for some reason#then took a picture and cleaned up and coloured in procreate. and I’m really happy with the end result#this was hella fun to do as well so.. win-win?#alright enough backstory rambling. on to the characters themselves#I looked up Zaheer’s name and apparently that particular spelling is urdu in origin. so I went off that#the article I found was written edited and fact checked by three pakistani women so I think it’s about as trustworthy as these things go#summiya means ‘a woman of proper name’ and aiza means ‘respected high place in society’. which I thought were fitting for noble girls#for outfits and hairstyles. like I said. I turned to the avatar artbooks. those things are life savers. I just played around with colours#looks wise I colour picked from zaheer and then shifted around a little so they look similar enough yet not like clones of each other#but they’re also teenagers here so they wouldn’t resemble book 3 Zaheer much anyway#kat never mentioned ages but since their mother was looking for matches I assumed they were older than zaheer#he ran off at 11 or 12 iirc. so I decided they would have been 16 and 14 respectively#though in their community matches are probably made much earlier than actual marrying age. still.#if it was such a pressing matter that their mother was ‘preoccupied’ with it. then they were probably teenagers right#that’s what I’m gonna go for anyway since currently I have no information to disprove any of this#oh yeah Kat btw if you did have images of Zaheer’s sisters in mind before this then you don’t have to replace them. I just filled a blank#we’ve never talked about them so I assume there’s nothing. feel free to correct me. maybe someday we’ll discuss their personalities/lives#all I have is that they probably weren’t too close with zaheer. and their lives now are all about husbands kids and status. but we’ll see#hope you like them anyways <3
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Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.
And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.
I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.
But do you know what I found?
I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,
I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.
Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:
I was worth talking to when I was quiet.
I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.
So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.
You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.
(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)
#original#social anxiety#autism#that one post#actually autistic#self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally.#social skills#socially awkward#socially anxious#autistic positivity#autism positivity#like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person#this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'#which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but#genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think#people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that#it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are#acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice.#being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong#and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say#actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me.#i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol#like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary#doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do.#side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣.#like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me#I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY#I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing!#note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written.#tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD
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