#but i start to learn though 'but who i emotionally invest into THE most?' and yes

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General Yandere! Kotarou Bokuto Profile

Yandere! Kotarou Bokuto x reader

TW: kidnapping, possessiveness, mentions of stalking, mentions of masturbation, allusions to somnophilia, Stockholm Syndrome, emotional manipulation, Ko uses you as his emotional support system, delusional behavior, nonconsensual physical affection/touch, vague allusions to non-con, mentions of physical abuse, Kotarou is extremely emotionally needy and physically touchy and just generally quite a handful, mentions of insecurity, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 11K

DARLING PROFILE: 

Introverted  

Koutarou is a lot. He knows it, his team knows it, hell, the entire league knows it.

His energy is difficult to match; he’s a ray of sunshine, blinding yet impossible to look away from, someone with boundless amounts of energy, someone friendly and extraverted to an almost extreme.

Because he is so rambunctious and loud, he would actually really enjoy a partner who mellows him out a bit more, someone who isn’t constantly hyper and talkative and wanting to spend hours on end with other people.

He works well with Akaashi; who is quiet, calm and not as talkative, and his darling would likely reflect that in many ways – the serenity, the sense of peace and calmness, the idea that they aren’t constantly jumping with energy, constantly bursting at the seams to go do something.

Ideally though, he’d enjoy a partner who is still willing to talk, who’s willing to indulge him in conversation and compliment him and give him that adorable smile, just not a social butterfly like himself. It makes him feel privileged, special because his darling wants to speak to him, that they’re using their precious social battery on him him him.

He’s in awe that they start conversations with him; his darling, who so often doesn’t utter a word around crazy people such as himself, who sees someone as hyper as him and immediately run for the hills.

It makes his ego flare, and he can’t deny how adorable they are when they get embarrassed at his attention, when they roll their eyes and shove his shoulder lightly, when they freeze and cower as he loudly proclaims his love for them in the middle of the movie theater and everyone looks over.

He loves it, and it’s a nice bonus that it cuts down his competition - less dirty work for him, something Koutarou is very thankful for.

Creative

Volleyball is Kotarou’s life, and as a result he hasn’t had much time to explore anything outside of it. He’s never really tried his hand at painting, playing an instrument, baking, or really any other hobby.

And of course he loves the sport dearly, but there’s something alluring to the idea of a darling that’s invested in something so completely different from himself.

It doesn’t matter what the hobby is - cooking, drawing, writing, singing, it could be anything at all.

But once Kotarou finds out his darling enjoys it, suddenly he becomes obsessed with it, wanting to learn as much as he can and hone as many talents within it as possible. In his eyes, everything his darling does is perfect, so the thing that they love most (aside from him, of course) must be amazing, right? It must be worth his time to learn about it and become familiar with it, if only just to impress his darling, if only just to share even a scrap of the love they feel for it.

He’ll beg and pester his darling to teach him, constantly asking questions and carefully watching their answers.

Because rally, while Kotarou develops an interest in the activity because of his darling’s love, he also becomes familiar with the hobby because he lives for the way their eyes light up when they’re concentrating. They look absolutely gorgeous, even more beautiful than normal, something sparkling in their eyes.

His knees grow weak when he sees them biting their lip or sticking out their tongue in concentration, his feelings only growing ten-fold and becoming stronger because it’s just so incredibly endearing that his darling has something they love enough to be this devoted.

They get this ethereal glow about them and Kotarou genuinely can’t take his eyes off of them when they’re in that mode.

And so instead of listening to their instructions, he finds himself drifting into fantasies of them finally getting that glow and radiance when thinking about him. It’s what fuels him, what gives him energy.

He just wants his darling to adore him in the way that he adores them.

Nurturing

If his darling is anything, they have to be supportive.

Poor Kotarou is in constant need of reassurance, and his darling has to be willing to put up with that. They have to be willing to deal with the emotional labor of constantly praising him, of telling him wonderfully talented he is, how funny, how charming, how handsome, any and all compliments they can think of.

Their kind words go straight to his heart, making his body feel fuzzy and warm, an unstoppable grin stretches across his face and his words excited as he asks them really? Are you sure?

He’s overwhelmed by the idea of his darling thinking such thoughts about him - they think he’s strong? They think he’s talented? They think he’s amazing?

Needless to say, a few simple words of praise from his darling are enough to get Kotarou’s entire mood shifting, his metaphoric feathers ruffling and a pleasant, gooey feeling in his heart making him feel lighter than air because oh, they think he’s attractive and fun to be around?

He loves how easily they’re able to make him feel good about himself, and he can only hope to return the favor.

As a result, he’ll compliment his darling often, completely out of the blue and about odd, but strangely endearing things. He just wants them to feel how good they make him feel, and he’ll do anything to get them there. 

Competitive

While his darling needs to be someone capable of spilling praise at a moment’s notice, Kotarou also finds himself attracted to those who has a healthy sense of competition in life.

As a professional athlete, he takes competition very seriously, and is also the type to find that a bit of competition is the perfect thing to spice up a relationship. He loves the idea of having a friendly rivalry with his darling – perhaps at something entirely stupid, like mini-golf or slugbugging or something equally childish.

Regardless, he likes the idea of his darling and him being playful together, of having someone he can establish that teasing rapport with. Besides, while he can sometimes be a bit of an emotional wreck, Kotarou finds emotional intelligence extremely attractive.

Thus, having a partner that’s capable of gracefully winning and losing is wildly attractive to him – they’re able to regulate themselves and put others’ thoughts and feelings into perspective.

He cares too much about other people to have a darling with little to no awareness of others’ feelings, and to have a darling that manages to merge in this awareness alongside a healthy appetite for competition and teasing?

Well, Kotarou finds himself falling hard and fast, loving the idea of a darling who’s so mature yet so wonderfully immature – perfect for someone like him.

(And, though he isn’t consciously thinking about it, perfect for a mother – he won’t explicitly bring up the topic of marriage and children, but he enters every relationship with the thought in mind, always hopeful that perhaps he’s finally found the right woman. And lucky him, he has – his wonderful, wonderful darling.)

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Clingy

He’s naturally quite affectionate with those around him, for better or worse. He’s always looking for someone to talk to, hang out with, goof around with, and once his feelings for you form, so lovely and horrible and overwhelming, this trait is only amplified.

It only increases monumentally with the absolute need to constantly be around you, to have your attention solely on him because god, seeing your pretty eyes focused on him makes his heart race so fast he thinks he’s dying.

He wants you to be looking at him at all times, thinking about him every minute of the day, be craving him as much as he craves you. He wants you to daydream about him smiling at you, making you bite your lip and stare at the ground while you fight back a flustered, school-girl-esque grin because god, isn’t he just so dreamy?

He wants you to be fantasizing about hugging him, feeling his strong, muscular arms wrapped around your body while he nuzzles into your neck, whispering your name in a hoarse voice that gets you shivering and nudging your thighs together because fuck, how can anyone sound that good?

Honestly, the idea of you thinking of him is enough to have him grinning with his eyes squeezed shut, a slight flush on his cheeks as he pumps his fist and lets out a victorious laugh.

(There have been quite a few instances of you patting him on the back, albeit awkwardly, to which he responded with a resounding hey, hey, hey! that sounded much too close to a moan and raised his fist to the sky – you’ve never understood why his voice gets all high and shaky like that, but somehow it seems you’d rather not know the answer.)

He thrives on your physical touch, your sweet words and glossy eyes staying fixed on him, and you’ll quickly notice how Koutarou always seems to just be around, how those golden eyes never really seem to leave, his gray and black hair standing out in your peripheral, followed shortly by a cheerful yell of your name and a bone crushing hug that makes you wheeze and shiver as you realize there’s something pressing into your thigh, oh god why is he hard and nuzzling his face into your neck and is he sighing?

It’s almost flattering at first – not expected, but sweet that he seems to feel so close to you, until it’s happening every day, every time he sees you – he’s always hugging you, holding your hand, ruffling your hair, calling you so cute, isn’t she Akaashi? Makes me wanna eat her right up!

It’s endearing and you’ll be flattered that a famous, attractive professional athlete is so obviously interested in you, but it becomes less and less endearing as time passes. It becomes less cute when he’s making some offhand comment about how you must’ve changed your shampoo – he distinctly remembers your hair smelling like strawberries, and now it has more of a lavender scent; but don’t worry, you smell great either way, cutie!

It becomes less flattering as he tells you while you’re being forced to sit in his lap as the team puts up the volleyball nets that you seemed like you were hesitant to come to practice with me today – is there something I don’t know about? Are you seeing someone else? What aren’t you telling me? It’s not nice to keep secrets from boyfriends, you know.

Quickly you’ll come to realize that Kotarou’s level of dependence on you is completely unwarranted for how close your relationship really is, but there isn’t much you can say to change this fact – he’s clingy, he needs your affection and attention, and when you ask Akaashi or Atsumu about it, about why he seems so needy and so obsessed with you, they’ll both write it off as Bokuto and his fleeting feelings, just his childish nature at work.

And when you try to confront him about it, to tell him that you’re uncomfortable with him suddenly springing up on you from behind, pinning you against a desk with his body looming over you while he inhales deeply and whispers about how pretty you look in your new skirt, he’ll just frown, pouting down at you while he whines about how he isn’t trying to be weird, that he just wants to show you how much he cares, how much he loves you.

He’ll only lean more weight on you, hug you tighter and whisper about how he knows you want this just as bad as he does, that it’s only normal for boyfriends to want to touch their girlfriends, to want to spend time with them and hear their compliments and care for each other.

It’s natural, he explains, to be always by your side, for you to never leave his field of vision – which is why you’ll find yourself coming to most MSBY practices and games decked out in the #12 spare jersey he not so subtly demanded you wear (that still very much has the fresh scent of a recent workout in it – something about pheromones and marking you, Kotarou had explained, with words too quick and slurred for you to really understand).

You’ll find yourself spending most of your meals either by his side or in his lap (trying to ignore the way a certain hardness presses against your ass if you move too much, if you’re squirmin’ so much cutiepie, you okay?).

You’ll be walked home everyday from your job and convinced to spend the evening with him, though he spends more time staring at you than watching the movie you’d thrown on.

And really, you can tell yourself every day that you’ll finally stand up to him, that you’ll finally end this bizarre, possessive behavior coming from a man you aren’t even dating, but each time you bring it up, those soft golden eyes will have you feeling like you’re kicking a puppy, his entire aura being shut down in a heartbeat at your stuttered I-I think we need to take some time apart…

Kotarou isn’t doing it on purpose, but you’ll be extremely hard pressed to ever really change the way he acts around you – it makes you feel too guilty, like you’re spinning the situation into so much more than it really is.

So, when you bite your lip and shake your head, giving him a shaky smile and telling him that you changed your mind, he’s beaming and letting out a cheer and scooping you into his arms to swing you around in circles, despite your demands that you must be too heavy to carry, that he’s making such a scene and the entire restaurant is staring and god, he just loves you so much, he knew you were meant for him and your acceptance only proves this!

It’s not so big a deal, right? Kotarou is mostly harmless, doesn’t mean anything weird by his touchiness, his desperation to be with you, right? It’s just a short term thing, soon his attention will move on, right?

Possessive

Kotarou, while incredibly empathetic and intuitive to other peoples’ emotions, does not handle his own especially well.

He’s terrible at stopping himself from having extreme highs and lows over the pettiest things, and this doesn’t stop at just volleyball, at just his normal life – no, his love for you is most definitely affected by this as well. Namely, in the form of jealousy; he’s a firm believer in faithfulness and loyalty, in the idea that you have one and only one partner, that they should be enough for you and that other men and women are essentially just background noise for the real one, the one that makes your heart race, your palms sweat and a lovely sort of nervousness to grow in the pit of your stomach.

He’s always believed in this, and once his infatuation with you forms, this philosophy most certainly doesn’t change; if anything, he clings onto the idea with frantic fingers, clutching at the concept of you looking at no one else for any reason whatsoever.

He’s plagued with the fear that someone will try and interfere with your relationship, that someone will come along and try and tear the two of you apart – he’s terrified of losing you, of losing who he genuinely believes to be his true love to some other man, to some other loser who decided you were pretty and would be a fun catch.

Kotarou is self-aware enough to know that he isn’t the ideal man, that you likely don’t love his mood swings, his habits of switching emotions quicker than you can likely keep up. He knows this, which is why it makes it so much more painful when that coworker of yours starts talking to you more, looking at you with such light and happy eyes, staring at you with what Kotarou is absolutely sure is a blush on his cheeks, when he’s leaning in way too much.

His possessiveness flares up especially in his sadder moments – when he’s already spiraling into a fit of self-doubt, it’s easy to read too far into any situation in which your gaze flickers over to another guy, easy to over examine the way you quickly apologize after bumping into a player on the opposite team in the hallway.

It’s so fucking easy to feel like his place as your rightful partner, as your lover and boyfriend and future husband is being threatened when he sees literally anyone approach you – because really, Kotarou can’t help but wonder if you’d like them more, if maybe you’re only nice to him and letting him hug you, compliment you, and everything else because you feel sorry for him, because you’re pitying him.

And it’s those thoughts that drive him to march up to you and pull you into his chest, to press your ear against his heart while he buries his face in your hair, tears streaming down his cheeks as he asks in a whisper if he’s still enough, if you’ve found someone else, if you even really love him.

And really, as disarming and disorienting as it is, there’s some part of you that will feel bad for him, that will want to comfort this man so obviously in need of praise, so obviously in need of someone to tell him that yes, he’s enough, yes you love him and you’ll always love him.

Even if it’s not true – even if it’s just something you’re saying out of a misplaced sense of guilt, even if it’s something you’ll find yourself horribly regretting the deeper into delusion Kotarou sinks. And so, as you promise that you do in fact want him, that you need him as badly as he needs you and that you’ll never, ever leave him, Kotarou slowly begins to relax, melting into your arms and trying to calm his ragged breaths, the racing of his heart, the tears flowing down his cheeks.

It’s difficult, but as he pulls back and sees your confused, beautiful fucking face, a small smile makes its way onto his lips, the knowledge that you’ll never leave him ringing in his head. Because really, how could he ever ask for anything more?

All he needs is you you you, and now that you’ve promised him, he’ll hold you to it. And when you’re trapped by his side some time later, those strong arms wrapped suffocatingly tight around your waist and his grin big and dopey and scary as he promises to never, ever let you leave his side, you’ll really only have yourself to blame. Because really, while Kotarou’s jealousy manifests mostly as self-deprication and an increased need for your reassurance and praise, ultimately you’ll be the one to push forward his dependence on you.

You’re the one telling him that he’s wonderful, that you’re not interested in any other men, that he’s every girl’s dream. It’s small things that slowly build up, feeding into Kotarou’s delusions until he’s too far gone to really even listen to you anymore; picking and choosing what he wants to hear from you, twisting your words into some grand declaration of love that gets him smiling like a fool, crushing you into his arms and leaving your lips bruised with the ferocity of his kisses.

You’re just so perfect, huh?

Delusional

But in an extremely specific way – on his own, Kotarou isn’t a particularly delusional man. He’s tied to his beliefs, yes, but he’s grounded and lucid enough to understand the importance of seeing multiple perspectives, of listening to others, of staying in touch with reality and not letting himself get too carried away.

And this is still true in the beginnings of his obsession – he knows that you’re just friends, that you have a budding friendship that he’d like to progress into something more, something deeper and more romantic in its origin. And he’s strict about this for a long time – going to Akaashi for dating advice or asking the ever-grumpy Sakusa how he thinks Kotarou should approach you.

(Akaashi gives much, much more insightful advice than his teammate, of course – telling Kotarou to take things slow and listen to what you want, to let you guide the pace and direction of the relationship. Sakusa merely scoffs and tells him to stop being loud and irritating, and you might have a shot.)

And Kotarou sticks to this advice well in the beginning – establishing a positive connection with you and letting you get comfortable, your friendship blossoming and growing into one that you can foresee being one of your most cherished.

But then elements of his infatuation begin developing, and suddenly that advice gets a bit warped, his understanding of your intentions slowly crumbling away because of one critical, crucial factor: Kotarou grows an incredibly strong sense of attachment towards you.

He’s already quite physically touchy and needy as it is, but as his obsession with you progresses, this dependency morphs into not only the more tactile side of things, but his mental state as well. He quickly grows to absolutely need you in every sense of the word; you’re something that keeps him tethered, grounded. Your love and attention is something that he needs in order to survive, in order to wake up everyday and get himself out of bed because he knows that he’ll get to see you today, to hug you and touch you and maybe even kiss you if he can catch you off guard enough.

Within the span of a few months after he recognizes that his feelings for you are more romantic than platonic, Koutarou’s entire mental health and wellbeing revolves around you and the attention you give him.

The advice of his friends still rings through his head, but he instead begins interpreting your actions as you wanting to foster this dependency of his. He thinks that you’re aware of his brewing feelings, and that you feel the same way – surely that’s what you mean when you always praise him, right? His every action comes back to you; he hits a spike in a match he got you exclusive, front-row player’s box seats for?

Well, he’s immediately peering up into the stands, golden eyes frantically searching for you, and once he spots you he’s waving like a madman, blowing obnoxious kisses at you, proudly exclaiming that was for you babe! And he’ll keep going until you acknowledge him, until you give him a thumbs up and a toothy smile, until you yell back that you’re so proud of you, Ko!

(Of course, the phrasing of ‘babe’ is a bit suspect, but you’ll blame it on mishearing him in the loud, packing stadium.)

When he tries out a new recipe for a particular dish he knows you love, he’s eager to call you, begging you to drop whatever it is you’re doing and swing by his apartment to try because he really, really needs you to say you like it.

(He’ll be watching with rapt attention as you hover the fork to your lips, practically not breathing as he watches you chew and swallow, his palms so sweaty and clammy that he nearly drops the pan in excitement when you compliment the food. Don’t pay attention to the way he gulps loud enough for you to hear, nor the way he grabs you by the waist and spins you around, laughing that booming laugh of his and seeming much too joyous for a simple well-cooked meal.)

Everything comes back to the basic principal that Koutarou just wants desperately to impress you – he thrives on your praise, seeing you proud of him and happy to call him yours, and he’s leaping at each and every possible chance to achieve that, to make you laugh and wrap your arms around him, to whisper into his ear that you’re so proud baby, I know you worked so hard, now what’dya say we go home and I reward you for all that hard work, just how you like it?

He’s committed to being your dream partner, to being someone you can proudly call your own, and he quite literally needs you praise and validation in every aspect of his life to solidify his delusions about the way you feel for him – your opinion is something he values over his own life, your presence something he genuinely believes he can’t live without, and so to have you by his side constantly, always smiling at him and making him feel so giddy and happy is something that Kotarou really honestly needs.

The bottom line is that his entire emotional and mental state rests firmly upon your shoulders, firmly upon your reactions to the things he does for you – so keep that in mind as he rushes up to you with the excitement and energy of a puppy, ranting and raving about how he managed to hit one of Atsumu’s new kinds of tosses or block one of Hinata’s best spikes.

Keep it in mind as he presses you flush against his body, his face buried into your neck, his audible inhale and whimper that vibrates against your skin making a shiver shoot up your spine in anything but pleasure. Keep in mind that now it’s your responsibility to keep Kotarou happy, that your job is essentially to make sure that he stays at least somewhat stable.

(With the pressure coming from the entire management staff of the MSBY team, who’ve realized that Kotarou has a bit of a massive crush on you – you, who isn’t doing the best financially, who could very much not survive a class-action lawsuit for ruining one of their star players.)

And once he’s stolen away, it’s your responsibility to keep him happy so that he keeps leaving the apartment, leaving you, making sure that you have enough food and water to survive, so that his depressive episodes don’t cost you your life.

So really, have fun; because eventually the emotional toll will hit you, but don’t worry because Kotarou will be right there to help pick you up again.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

Because his jealous streak is really quite strong, Koutarou has a tendency to misinterpret nearly every single interaction you have with a member of the opposite sex.

He’s automatically assuming that everyone is interested in you, that everyone wants to date you and make you smile and kiss you and fuck you, all of which are things that only he should be allowed to do. He’s jumping to conclusions before things really even happen, sure that you’ll somehow be manipulated into leaving him, into leaving the happy, loving relationship you share with him.

It’s a fear that permeates his every moment when he’s away from you (something that is admittedly quite rare, but still), that seeps into the back of his mind no matter how hard he tries to convince himself that you love him, that you’d never cheat on him or trade him in for someone better.

 Of course, he trusts you enough to not immediately act upon his jealousy when he notices another man in your vicinity. Rather, he’ll start demanding your attention even more, trying to keep you physically turned away from the stranger and keep your eyes focused only on Kotarou, because if you can’t see the man, the man can’t see you, right?

It’s poor logic, and Kotarou panics the entire time he tries to stall, only able to imagine the way you’d look by this new man’s side.

And at the end of the day, that’s really it – Kotarou knows that he’s not perfect. You, with your lovely figure, beautiful face, wonderful personality, and many talents, could really get any guy of your choice. So why would you want him?

He seems confident, like he has no doubts about himself and his abilities, and for the most part he doesn’t, but there’s just something about you that makes him constantly reanalyze himself, that makes him wonder if he’s really enough, if he could ever really be enough for someone as perfect as you.

Sure he’s athletic, friendly, handsome, kind, but he’s not the number one hitter in the league, not the brightest, not the most charming, not the best looking or most mysterious or funniest or any number of other things that you might find more attractive.

And as time passes this eats away at Kotarou’s mind, driving him insane the longer it occupies the back of his thoughts because he just can’t shake the image of you in another man’s arms, laughing and kissing them and just being so fucking happy without him.

He’s dependent on you to an unhealthy degree, absolutely fixated on the idea of needing you in his life, and so Kotarou doesn’t really hold back in terms of trying to control his jealousy – he knows he needs to step in before you even get the chance to be lulled in by some other man. He needs to interfere before he loses you forever, and while he knows you’re probably embarrassed by how he barges in anytime you talk to someone else, Kotarou doesn’t let it hold him back.

Nothing can hold him back in the face of something as terrifying as losing you.

You’d never pegged Kotarou as one for video games, but when he’d dragged you to the new arcade that opened up a few blocks from his house, he practically seemed like a child in a toystore.

With his hand wrapped tightly around yours, he’d led you through row after row of game machines, golden eyes wide as he pointed to each and every one, promising you that he’d beat this one in two tries, or that one with his eyes closed. It’d been endearing in a way, watching how excited he’d gotten, before he dragged you over to a game in the far corner with especially bright lights and all sorts of noises coming from it.

He’d challenged you, telling you with a booming laugh that he’d bet you couldn’t beat him, a challenge you eagerly accepted. And really, while he’d been mildly embarrassed to sheepishly admit he’d run out of quarters after his fifth try through the game, it didn’t stop him from practically sprinting up to the ticketing counter, digging in his wallet for the largest dollar bill he had on hand to trade in. Leaving you alone at the game, biting your lip and reading over all the cartoon-style text decorating the game’s exterior.

You were so engrossed in the game’s appearance that you didn’t hear the blond man’s calls to you, shy little excuse me’s falling on deaf ears. Soon a tapping at your shoulder tapped you out of your reverie, spinning around to come face to face with a man you’d never seen before. Sandy blond hair and thick rimmed glasses sitting atop a rather brightly colored dress shirt and dark jeans.

Do you know how to play? Even his voice seemed timid, and while you were a bit shocked at his question, you’d only smiled and said no, hoping the man would drop some hints on ways to beat Kotarou – hearing his boasting was worse than hearing his moping, after all.

The man seemed relieved, moving forward to restart the game and talking you through the level, telling you tips on when to jump, which treasure chests were worth more, tricks on how to move the toggle piece, even telling you that the game would sometimes glitch and delete off ten seconds to your total time if you moved just right.

You’d thanked him profusely, excitement brewing in your chest at the thought of how you would crush Kotarou, but the sudden feeling of being watched washed over you and left you stiffening up, no longer paying attention to the stranger’s words.

In less than a moment, you were suddenly pushed from behind, spun around so that your back was pressed against the arcade wall, the breath knocked out of your lungs and Kotarou’s face – fit with a scowl – filling up your entire view.

Your surprised yelp was cut off by him suddenly lunging forward, his lips settling onto yours hard enough to make you flinch a bit. He kissed you roughly, loudly, the sound of wet smacking filling your ears and surely the stranger’s, if his facial expression was anything to go by. With red cheeks and a shocked look spread across his features, the man was quick to stutter an apology and speed off, trying to avoid the sight of Kotarou pressing you tighter against the wall and the sound of his groans and grunts.

As soon as the man was out of sight, Kotarou pulled back, licking his lips and looking at you with something akin to hunger swirling in those golden eyes.

Who was that?

Is all he got out, hands still firmly placed at your waist.

Your shock barred you from answering right away, before a resounding smack rung through his ears, the mild pain of your slap to his chest leaving him winded, the pleasant sensation of you touching him numbing out some of the hot, angry envy in his veins.

What the hell was that, Kotarou? You practically yell at him, the sound drowned out by the ringing of a few games nearby.

Kotarou only sighs, squeezing your sides and fixing you with an unblinking stare.

That man was bothering you, couldn’t he see you were here with me?

At your bewildered look, he merely laughed, one hand coming up to teasingly ruffle your hair. Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he’ll leave us alone for the rest of the day. Now c’mon, I got more quarters – watch me win!

And just like that, he seemed to have forgotten all about the rather heated, intimate moment he’d instigated – all smiles and laughter and taunts for the rest of the day as you shakily and wearily settled by his side, trying to rationalize that perhaps it looked different to an outsider.

Perhaps Kotarou thought the man was bothering you, and was worried he’d only get the hint through extreme measures. And he’s always been a bit extreme and exaggerated, surely he meant nothing by the kiss – even if it had been rather graphic, even if he’d been practically moaning at just the taste of you.

That must be it, you decide, as Kotarou whines and pouts about losing the level once more, begging you to give him just one more try. The small, half-hearted smile you give him is enough permission for him, and just that look settles the raging jealousy in his heart.

You were looking at him again, just as you should be – him and him only.

(And later that night, that’s what’s falling past his lips in a mantra as he vividly remembers the feel of your body in his hands, your lips pressed against his own, the smell of you clouding his every breath.)

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

Kotarou’s infatuation with you is, in most ways, strange.

He’s utterly obsessed, of course – his every waking moment is either revolving around volleyball or you, often times mixing and jumbling up so that he’s imagining all sorts of things that get him grinning like a fool, his cheeks bright red and his breathing too heavy to be considered normal.

(Things like seeing you wear his jersey, for example, or having you toss him a ball that he smacks so hard it hurts, seeing your impressed and flustered expression as he teases you about how strong he is. The kind of thing that makes his chest swell with pride, that makes him bite his lip and clutch at his covers late at night when he’s dreaming and wanting and needing you.)

His feelings for you carelessly breach any sort of trust or boundaries between the two of you, and for the most part Kotarou doesn’t see an issue with this.

Of course you probably don’t like when he checks the tracker he’d installed into your phone, but it’s just for safety and he’s sure you’ll eventually understand! It’s unsafe to let someone like you travel around alone at night (or in the day, or in crowded streets or public parks or even in the safety of your own home-).

He’s just taking an extra precaution to make sure someone’s got an eye on you – he’d be more than happy to install a tracker into his phone for you to keep tabs on his location too, if you’d like. (And oh, he wishes you’d like that.)

You’re probably not the biggest fan of when he wraps an arm around you in public, beaming and planting a wet, long kiss against your temple as he greets you, walking to your favorite coffee shop with his arm still wrapped around you, migrating down to your waist and making walking uncomfortable while he prattles on and on about his latest training regiment.

(And sure, maybe he’s exaggerating just a hair about how much he can bench press, or how fast his serves are, but those golden eyes of his are constantly scanning your expressions, looking for even the slightest hint of awe, analyzing any signs that you’re impressed with his physical prowess, his dedication. Impressed by him, really.)

And so really, Kotarou breaks every physical and intangible barrier and wall that you have down, slowly and bit by bit until you’re so desensitized to his antics and his behavior towards you that you stop questioning it. You’re not exactly supportive of the possessive, overly clingy way he treats you, but it’s just Kotarou, so really how harmful can it be? He’s just a silly, overgrown puppy of a man, and why should you ever be afraid of him?

And Kotarou’s feelings towards your living situation reflect this sentiment – that is, he absolutely does not want to kidnap you.

Not only does he find the term entirely unapplicable to your situation if he were to steal you away (because he’s convinced that on some core level you’d actually be pleased, like you want him to whisk you away and keep you wrapped up in his apartment as his little housewife), but it leaves an unpleasant taste in his mouth to imagine keeping you cooped up in one place all the time.

He loves to be out with you, to take you to markets and restaurants and movies and all sorts of other things – he likes having you out in public. It stresses him out a bit, yes, constantly being vigilant and aware of any man that tries to approach you, but by and large he finds that he enjoys your company most and enjoys showing you off most when you’re not all alone at home.

That isn’t to say that he dislikes cozy movie nights spent on his couch with now-cold takeout sprawled across the table, but there’s just something special about seeing you laugh so hard you cry because of him in a busy, sunny street café where everyone can see just how entertained you are by him.

(Those cozier evenings are of course favorites of him, though, because he gets to see a more intimate side of you – when you get sleepy and your eyes start drooping, he has to physically hold himself back from cooing and squishing your cheeks. And especially when you fall asleep on his shoulder or shift just right so that he worm his way into your arms, noticing how your flimsy sleeping shorts ride up just a hair to expose the lower curve of your ass, his mouth is left watering and his own shorts feel uncomfortably tight – something he'd be absolutely crazy to dislike.)

And so, Kotarou will hold off for as long as possible on stealing you away, just for the selfish reason of being able to drag you to all his games, to pretty dates (that you aren’t aware are dates, of course, but that’s just a technicality), to keep you happy and excited and free by his side.

But if things were to go south and you started to really critically analyze his behavior and decide that you don’t want to remain in his life?

Well, Kotarou has never quite felt panic like when you swing by his apartment one last time to announce that you’re moving away. He’s never quite felt a level of dismay like when you tell him you’ll be blocking his number because he’s made you uncomfortable, or when you tell him you’ll be crashing at a male friend’s place.

And really, that last portion is the kicker – it sends Kotarou’s mind spiraling, panic engulfing him and leading him to grab you, his hands shaking as he holds you, eyes flashing as he drags you to his bedroom, holding you down on the bed and using a spare t-shirt to tie up your wrists and ankles.

He’s never known fear like this before, and as he stares down at you – writhing, looking at him with tears in your eyes, looking at him –

He’s never quite known excitement like this before, either.

As a captor, Kotarou isn’t terrible – with one glaring exception: he’s needy. You’ve known this for as long as you’ve known him, but once you’re trapped in his home this is only amplified, the clinginess getting worse and worse because you have no way to dissuade his touchiness, no way to distract him away with outside people and activities.

No, now it’s strictly you and him – which is heaven for Kotarou, exactly what he’s been fantasizing about come to life.

Unfortunately for you, this means excessive time spent together and a lot of physical contact. Though his delusions aren’t quite deep enough to fully mask the fact that you’re unhappy, Kotarou is able to chalk up your lack of enthusiasm for things you did pre-kidnapping as you simply being moody, shy, womanly.

It’s infuriating how much he blames your behavior on your hormones and menstrual cycle.

He’s practically impossible to deal with once your period begins, his touches soft and gentle and nearly scared, treating you like you’re some breakable, delicate piece of treasure that can’t do anything on your own.

He’ll cook meals for you, then promptly bring the chopsticks up to your mouth and say ahh, smiling like a fool as he guides the ramen past your lips, nodding enthusiastically when you chew.

He’ll hold your hand and help you walk around the apartment, big eyes wide and worried when you near any corners, terrified that you’ll somehow hurt yourself because you’re distracted with cramp pain or simply having brain fog. And really, it would be endearing how earnestly he’s trying to make you comfortable and provide for you during your time of the month, but there’s something truly humiliating about the level of disregard he feels for your complaints, simply smiling lopsidedly at you and telling you don’t worry, I’ll make it all better! I’ve got some of that chocolate you like, you want some? I can heat up your heating pad too, and we can watch some old reruns of my games – you’d like that, right? You like watching me play, yeah?

And really, that’s the main thing with Kotarou – the level of care and attention he both gives to you and demands from you is incredibly draining.

The constant feeling of walking on eggshells around him is enough to have your mind running in circles, constantly worried that you’ll say the wrong thing about his personality or his actions and have him moping, convinced that you’re just being mean because you’re disappointed in him, that you’re just playing hard to get because he hasn’t been treating you like you deserve. And so how does he respond to this?

By giving you more attention, swamping you with questions and touches and all sorts of things for the two of you to do together. He’s always forcing you onto the couch to try out a new video game Akinori mentioned when he last ran into him, or watching a scary movie and clutching onto you for dear life at every jump scare.

(He thinks it’s romantic, but the slight bruising left on your thighs and sides from his very, very tight grip are less sweet.)

He’s just generally so very out of touch with how you’re feeling that it’s infuriating – but you have to be careful, because everything you do and say will only cause him to grasp onto you tighter, clutching onto you with more strength than you can handle because his entire mental wellbeing is still resting firmly on your shoulders. He forces you to sleep in bed beside him, waking up to you tangled in his arms every morning, starting his day off right and making it slightly easier to leave you for early morning trainings.

(He has to wake up with you every morning or else he feels like something’s off, his performance severely lacking and the only thing that can fix it being excessive affection from you – something a bit difficult to come by.)

He forces you to share meals with him because it gives him a reason to unabashedly stare at you (though he does this anyway, frequently) and watch as you eat the food he provided you. He has to be the sole one cooking or buying you take out, because it feeds the narrative he’s crafted in his head that he’s your provider, that he’s taking care of you, that he’s being a good male partner and spoiling his perfect little wife.

(Of course, you may not be married yet, but to Kotarou it’s just a matter of time – you’re already entwined in every possible way, living together and spending every waking moment together, so why bother with formal ceremonies and official titles when he can just buy a diamond and slip onto your finger with a toothy grin and a much too long and much too detailed declaration of his love? Of course, if you want the ceremony he’d be more than willing to give it to you, but he’s content with the knowledge that you’re his and his alone already.)

So really, if you can handle his hands constantly being on you, his lips always pressed against your skin, his voice always ringing in your ears, and his presence always a looming shadow over you demanding your praise and attention and time, Kotarou isn’t terrible.

There’s shades of genuine love in how he treats you – the gentleness in his touches, the tenderness of his compliments, the way he’ll moan into your ear the most adoring, utterly pathetic things as he settles himself between your legs.

There’s evidence that he truly loves you in some horrible, twisted way, but it all just feels like too much. Too forceful, too desperate, too passionate, too him.

But no amount of trying to get through to him will ever change the way he treats you, or ever persuade him into loosing the metaphorical lease he keeps you on – you’re his, and no matter how hard you try Kotarou will always firmly believe that fate has brought you together.

And isn’t that so romantic?

PUNISHMENTS:

In general, it’s rare for Kotarou to get genuinely angry at you.

Of course he has his highs and lows – he may be unwilling to seriously listen to your complaints or insults hurled at him, but he’s not inhuman. He still knows that you’re being mean – criticizing him and visibly displeased with him, and just that fact alone has his eyes drooping, guilt, self-pity and shame resting heavily on his shoulders.

His delusions about your feelings for him bar him from fully comprehending that your anger lies in the fact that he’s kidnapped you rather than not cuddling with you the night before, but he can still tell that something is amiss. He doesn’t like when you aren’t smiling and happy, when you’re bothered and troubled, when you aren’t acting like you used to, back before he relocated you to his apartment.

It’s upsetting, really, and it leaves Kotarou desperate to figure out how to get a grin back onto your lips, how to make you laugh, how to please you again. A lot of Kotarou’s anger and punishments stem from a place of insecurity and worry about your perception of him – he’s really quite sensitive, especially coming from someone he idolizes and reveres as much as you, and so his solutions to any sort of non-desirable behavior from you is to simply try harder.

It’s seemed to have worked in his career – hours upon hours upon hours spent lagging after practices to work on his spikes just a bit more, to serve just a few more balls, to get just a bit better.

And he applies this same principle with you – he’d rather pull his nails off one by one than physically hurt you or deny you of food and water or leave you all alone or any number of things he could do to force your codependency on him to become stronger.

And so, Kotarou wracks his brain for any and all possibilities on how to get you to like him more, on how to make you happy, on how to be a better boyfriend.

And frankly, it results in a much, much worse time for you.

If you thought Kotarou was clingy before you yelled at him for installing locks on his windows, then he’s downright glued to your side afterwards, his breath constantly fanning on your cheeks and his voice seemingly never ending as it rings over and over and over in your ears.

If you thought being in the same room as him was difficult before you slapped him across the face for giving your ass a playful squeeze, it’s nothing compared to how he plants more and more kisses onto your unwilling lips, leaving pretty dresses and lacy lingerie out on your (forcefully shared) bed for you, the way he starts piling on the compliments with such frequency and urgency that it nearly makes you sick.

Kotarou has always been a lot, truly, and once his feelings for you are thrown into the mix he becomes too much – and when you’re angry at him, ignoring him or hurling insults at him or denying his affection?

Well, the sadness quickly dissipates into fear, anxiety eating at every inch of his body because what if you hate him now?

You’re meant for one another, sure, but what if he’s messed it all up by not being enough for you?

It’s the stuff of nightmares, and in order to correct it he’ll instead become your nightmare.

You hear him before you see him – his keys jingle loudly in his pocket, the rhythmic noises of the padlock on the front door locking back up sounding too familiar now. You’re sitting at the dining table, staring down at the new book Kotarou had gifted you a week ago – you’ve read it twice already in that span of time, but as his footsteps approach the kitchen area, you resolve to read it once again.

His voice is loud as he calls your name, and you can hear the smile on his face as his footsteps quicken, his pace nearly turning to a run as he approaches you. His arms are around you before you can stop them, his words already pouring out as he starts telling you all about his day, rambling on about how Meian and Hinata had promised to take Kotarou out to a new bar later this week.

He’s still hugging you as he goes on to tell you that it’s supposed to be super good, I’ll have to let you know how it is! Maybe I can bring something home for you – I know your favorite’s always been –

Your mouth is moving before you can even really stop yourself, the words seeming to burst out without your control. Don’t tell me about all your plans in the outside world – not when I’m stuck here wasting away in this fucking apartment.

Your voice is low, uneven, and immediately Kotarou tenses, his eyebrows drawing together into a pout. What are you talking about? I just want to bring you a good drink and maybe we can watch that trashy rom-com you love and –

You cut him off again by harshly shaking off his arms from around you, moving your elbows out in an attempt to get him off of you.

Don’t you get it? I don’t want you to get me a drink! I don’t want you to do anything for me – you need to let me go, Kotarou. You can’t keep me stuck here forever! I should be out there getting a drink too, and going to the fucking store and seeing my friends and living my life! You’re – you’re a terrible person, and I hate you!

Your chest is heaving by the time you finish your spiel, having started off in that same low tone but eventually getting to a yell. He’d backed off of you, watching you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, his mind racing and trying to understand what you could possibly mean.

Stuck here? What were you saying?

You were happy here – you always return his hugs and his kisses and let him pull you closer to his chest at night and laugh at his jokes and smile at him and say you love him to and and and –

He moves back towards you, going to wrap his arms around you again, but this time you stand up and scurry off to the other end of table and now Kotarou can see the way your eyes are glossy, how you’re on the verge of tears and your lip is trembling.

Leave me alone, I can’t stand you! Not after what you’ve done to me!

And with that, you turn tail and run off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you. Behind the door your hands shake, the tears finally falling as you slide down the wood, landing in a sitting position and cursing Kotarou for not putting locks on the interior doors.

A fresh wave of tears falls down your cheeks as you realize you can’t even use the toilet in peace, not without the constant, lingering threat of him watching you. It’s too much, and soon your head is in your hands, sobs wracking your body.

 Meanwhile, Kotarou is still standing frozen, his heart and mind racing because you’re obviously upset. He doesn’t know why you’re overreacting like this, but the image of you with tears in your eyes pulls at his heartstrings, prompting him to rush and grab his car keys once more, flying out the front door and practically speeding to the nearest store, his grocery cart full.

He’s home roughly twenty minutes later, tears already pooling in his own eyes because the more he’s thought about the state you’re in the more he comes to the conclusion that it’s his fault, that he must’ve made you angry or sad and now he has to fix it.

He has to show you that you don’t hate him – you’re just having a rough day, that’s all. You’re just sad that he’s been gone all day and hasn’t been home to give you the proper love and care that you deserve. His fingers grip the steering wheel tightly even to leave his knuckles white, his teeth grinding and gritting together as he presses down on the gas gauge just a hair harder, desperation and guilt weighing heavily in his chest because god, he hates seeing you so upset.

And as he races back up to the apartment with all the groceries in his arms, he’s quick to wrap his fist against the bathroom door, asking in a breathless voice if you’re okay or if you’re hurt.

You’re still quietly crying, sniffling heavily and trying to ignore him as he knocks again. He knows he could bust the door open, easily overpowering you and giving him direct access to you, but the hurt look in your eyes flashes through his mind again and he decides against it. No, he needs to prove that he’s good enough at reading you and figuring out what you need – he needs to prove himself to you, to make you like him again.

He calls your name through the door again, before resting his forehead against the wood and wincing. I’m sorry for whatever I did, baby, I promise I didn’t mean it!

 He hears you scoff at that, and bites his lip.

You know me, sometimes I just get carried away! I never meant to make you upset, you’ve got to know that. He pauses, shifting around the bags in his arms. You mean so much to me, I love you. I love you more than I think I should, but it’s okay! I’ll be better for you, I promise. I’ll be a better boyfriend and I’ll make you happy. Just – you just have to let me try, okay? Please baby, let me try.

It’s silent for a moment, and Kotarou’s chest feels tight.

Please, he tries one last time.

And although you know you shouldn’t and that you’ll regret it, some small part of you almost feels bad as you hear him sniffle through the wood, the sound of him crying obvious. You bite your lip, a small voice in the back of your head quietly wondering if you should believe him.

After all, does he really make you that unhappy? He’s always so eager and pathetically excited when you smile at him, and is it really so bad to have someone give you all their attention and time? You’re ashamed to admit some part of you almost likes it, and soon your body is moving before you can stop it.

The door opens and Kotarou’s heart is in his throat, the sight of you with red, puffy eyes and your lip caught between your teeth making something between a sigh of relief and a whimper slip from him.

The multitude of bags precariously balanced in his arms immediately have your eyes widening, the names of your favorite snacks peeking through the sacks and making that same pang in your heart twist again, the knowledge that he went out and bought all of this for you just because you were sad forcing you to take a step forward.

You don’t say anything, and Kotarou stares at you with wide eyes, a wild sort of look overtaking his parted lips and pink cheeks, and when you mumble something small, he has to physically strain himself to hear you.

You repeat your favorite drink, swallowed harshly and struggling to make eye contact with him. He mouths it back to himself, before slowly, shyly, smiling down at you.

You won’t regret, I promise! He laughs, the sound relieved, dropping all of the shopping bags on the ground and immediately scooping you into his arms, hugging you so tightly you nearly can’t breath, all the while that familiar, chiming laughter fills your ears.

I love you, I love you, I love you he repeats into your ear, keeping you close and occasionally squeezing tighter.

And even as something crumbles up inside you, you find yourself wrapping your arms around him too, shoving your face against his chest and nodding, your words muffled as you murmur the smallest  I love you, too back.

And Kotarou can only beam down at you, repeating the phrase over and over until all the words start slurring together, until all you can do is slowly relax into the warmth of his arms, into the feeling of someone completely and utterly loving you.

OVERALL DANGER:

6/10

Kotarou is less dangerous and honestly more pathetic than anything else.

He’s a fully grown man who’s desperate for someone to love, whose desperation becomes so deeply ingrained in his feelings towards you that he clutches onto you and never lets go.

Reading into your feelings festers delusions about how you feel towards him, feeding him pretty lies about how you really feel and what your actions really mean.

He builds a relationship between the two of you in his head, growing closer and more intimate with you than socially acceptable for a friendship, becoming more and more dependent on you and the praise you so willingly give him.

It’s heaven, really, and it leaves Kotarou blinded to the ugly side of his obsession.

He’s clingy and overly possessive, always touching you and calling you his and making sure that everyone sees the two of you together – that everyone knows that you’re his woman and he’s your man.

He wants to make sure that your relationship – fake or not – is idyllic, that you’re so happy with him that you could never even dream of wanting another man, never even entertain the notion of needing anyone else because Kotarou is everything you could ever want.

And while he won’t explicitly acknowledge any behavior that clashes with the pretty image of you and your love that he’s crafted in his head, he’s not immune to your negative reception of his touches and his rather aggressive affection.

You’ll have to walk on eggshells around him, careful to keep him from falling deeply into a spiral that could lead to your own slow demise being trapped under his thumb.

It’s stressful, a lifestyle that’ll leave you haggard and spent, tired to the point where slowly it will stop feeling like an act to return his hugs, to compliment his muscles, to tell him that you missed him while he was away at work.

It will feel less and less like a lie, the words slipping off your tongue so easily that it’ll leave you scared.

Because really, while Kotarou is overbearing and quite honestly scary with the way he barrels forwards and takes whatever he wants from you, eventually you’ll find yourself less and less angry, and more and more complacent. It could be worse, couldn’t it?

You have a warm bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, and food to eat.

And the man that holds you flush to his chest in said bed, pays the rent for said roof, and hand-selects only meals he knows you like can’t possibly be that bad, right?

After all, doesn’t it feel good to be needed?

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Bill Dickey SFW Alphabet

This is more so for the TV pilot version and not so much for the comic version. I LOVED it the moment i saw it and i’m so disappointed it was never picked up 😭 but at least we’re able to make our own content for it 🤷‍♀️

Please just remember that this is my interpretation, we can agree on some things and disagree on others, but that’s ok! If my interpretation isn’t for you then i encourage you to find content that works more for you and your interpretation. 💋

A- Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they like to show affection?)

- He is surprisingly more affectionate than some might think. Especially when he’s around the guys or other people in general. He likes being able to show you off like the precious gem you are. He considers you his most valuable collectible, though you have to tell him quite often to stop comparing you to objects. He likes to be able to have his hand on you at all times, wether it’s holding yours, around your waist, or placed gently onto your leg.

B- Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

- Absolutely terrible. It would go one of two ways: 1- He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from being the raging misogynist that he is, constantly questioning your knowledge of everything you interact with. You would barely be able to get any words into a conversation without him cutting you off. Or, 2- He’d be so invested in the fact that a girl wanted to spend time with him that he’d try way too hard to make himself seem like the perfect guy. Nonstop staring, especially at your chest or thighs, opening every door and pulling out every chair, but he would also try to keep any other guy from getting close to you. He’d even go as far as staring down the cashier at the movies for looking at you too long.

C- Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

- He loves getting to cuddle, but only when it’s just the two of you. He’ll show you off all he likes, but he only likes to cuddle when he knows you won’t be bothered. It’s something he wants to be able to enjoy for as long as possible, being held close by a hot girl is something he can only imagine, why would he want it to end?

D- Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking, cleaning, etc.)

- He wants to, but children are out of the question entirely. He’d absolutely love to get married one day, specifically so he can tell people he’s not only married, but he’s married to an absolute dime. However, he doesn’t want anything to do with children. He thinks they’re too messy, too loud, too much responsibility, and he’ll have to constantly keep watch of his collectibles around them.

E- Ending (If they had to break up with their partner how would they do it?)

- If he did ever break up with you, it would be an immediate regret. You’re quite literally the only girl who’s ever wanted him and he wants to make sure it stays that way.

F- Fiancé (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

- He absolutely wants to get married, just as long as it’s to you. If he had it his way, your first date would’ve been at a wedding chapel, but realistically he wouldn’t put a specific date on it. He wants to make sure you can live together comfortably first, or at least until you’re able to get out of your parents places.

G- Gentle (How gentle are they? Both physically and emotionally)

- Not as gentle as you’d like him to be, but he’s learning. When he gets angry, rarely ever at you, he just needs a minute to get all his anger out before he apologizes and tries to word it in a way where you’d be able to understand why he’s so pissed off that Josh insisted on borrowing one of his comics for a day longer than planned.

H- Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

- He enjoys getting them, especially when he’s pulled in tight and held close to your chest. He says it’s comforting, but you know the real reason why he enjoys it. When he hugs you he tries his hardest not to squeeze you too tight, but he’s just happy he’s able to get close enough to a girl to do it.

I- I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

- First day. You’d get through one date, converse over your shared interests, and as soon as you start yapping on and on about your favorite things he’s smitten. It feels nice to know that a girl, especially a hot girl, can be as obsessed with something as much as he is. When he says it for real he nearly cries when you say it back. He didn’t know that someone could find him likable enough to love.

J- Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

- Insanely jealous. It’s not to the point where it’s overbearing, but he will shoot dirty looks at cashiers if your transaction takes longer than normal or will immediately assume a guys normal common decency towards you is their attempt to take you away from him. He never blames you, it’s always the other guys who are trying to get you all for themselves.

K- Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

- Bill has absolutely no preference for when or where you want to kiss him. It’s only when he’s in front of his friends that he wants you to tone it down a little. He just doesn’t want them to use it for their own perverse imaginations. His kisses always start out gentle but he just can’t help himself with you sometimes. If his lips can reach it, you’ll get a kiss there.

L- Little Ones (How are they around kids?)

- Absolutely awful. He doesn’t like children, he finds them to be too annoying, and he can never see himself having any in the future. They’d want to get their grubby little hands all over his still boxed action figures and he’s never going to let that happen.

M- Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

- Surprisingly enough he does quite well in the morning. He has routines that does morning and night, though sometimes his ‘mornings’ are closer to 11 AM. On weekends he’ll lay in bed for a while, but other than that he’s up earlier than you for the most part. He just doesn’t want to wake you because he’s too busy focusing on the fact that there’s a girl asleep in his bed.

N- Night (How are nights spent with them?)

- He never goes to bed earlier than midnight, and that’s on a good day. How nights are usually spent in the basement with the guys doing their normal club things, but when he comes upstairs after they all leave he wants to get into bed with you as soon as possible. Most of the time you have to remind him to brush his teeth and take off his glasses before he gets into bed, but it’s only because he’s so eager to get you to lay with him and watch one of the Star Wars movies for the millionth time.

O- Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or do they open up slowly?)

- He’d be very open with the things that are easy to read about him. He’ll go on and on about his interests, telling you every minor detail about every one of them as if theres going to be a test about it as soon as the conversation is over. It would take about a month, give or take, before he actually starts telling you about his own personal life. He needed to make sure you weren’t dating him on a bet before he gets too comfortable.

P- Patience (How easily angered are they?)

- He’s angered pretty easily but it’s never at you. You know that he can get into heated arguments pretty often with the guys, you’re used to hearing them scream at one another every time they’re together, but if he ever yells at you it’s only when he’s relaying the arguments from earlier on.

Q- Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they mention every little detail in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

- He’d memorize everything about you like it’s his job. He can remember the most minute detail of a horror movie he saw once years ago and it’ll still come back to him like he watched it five minutes ago. He likes being able to know everything about you, especially when he sees how giddy you get when he remembers the little things. He sometimes has to keep himself from pointing things out when he’s with the guys and saying “(y/n) would like that!”

R- Remember (What is their favorite moment of your relationship?)

- When he first saw you. That moment replays in his head over and over again every time he thinks about you. Of course he gets some of the details mixed up, sometimes when he thinks about it he’ll imagine it as if you were a princess and he was a knight that was so captivated by your beauty, or an alien priestess who warped his mind to make him become obsessed with you. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

S- Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

- He’s not necessarily overprotective, but he’s definitely a little bit possessive, he does question a lot of the other guys that are around you. He says that since he knows how they think, he knows how they act, and he doesn’t like it when the other guys in the comic shops or the movie theaters imagine you in all the ways that he likes to. He never thinks you’re doing anything to intentionally make these guys want you, it’s not your fault that you’re an absolute smoke show. He likes to always be around, just in case someone tries something with you.

T- Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

- At first he wouldn’t be the absolute best at remembering things like that, he’s just not used to it. In order to remember better he keeps lists of everything important: your birthday, anniversary, and he even has things like your favorite color, movie, restaurant and order. He tries his hardest with the little money he has, but he’ll always pick up something for you whenever he sees you. Plus, he knows that whenever he gets you something, he’ll always get something in return.

U- Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

- A smaller list would be his good habits. He’s gotten better overtime, especially when you tell him he’s not getting any until he does what you say. And in those cases, he does it happily. If you tell him to shower, he does it. If you tell him to clean, he does it. It’s just a little more difficult to get him to do these things on its own. The most difficult thing about him is his constant need for new things for his various collections, though you were able to find a compromise when you agreed that every time he bought something, he had to get something for you too.

V- Vanity (How concerned are they with their appearance?)

- Not very, though when it comes to specific occasions he makes sure to really focus on himself and how he might be perceived. For the most part, he’ll shower at least two to three times a week, he doesn’t mind if his hair gets greasy but when it gets unruly it becomes a problem. His routines make sure he brushes his teeth at least once a day and he never leaves the house without making sure he doesn’t look a complete mess. He’ll rewear clothes until they either smell or have a noticeable stain, or if he runs out of clean clothes entirely.

W- Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

- Absolutely. He can’t imagine life before you, and any time he can recall times before then he was in misery. He still gets into physical fights with the guys, and he still goes out and causes disturbances in all his local spots, but now he gets to do all those things with a girlfriend. One who listens to him and cares about him, and it’s nice to know that even with all his flaws he’s still got you.

X- Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

- He wants you to sit in with the club so badly, and it’s not like you’ve never been around them before, but he knows that if you’re around them for an extended period of time he knows where their minds might wander. He’s shown you things like all the movies and games and books they talk about, but there’s no possible way he can have you be around the guys for more than an hour.

Y- Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

- Interestingly enough, he would hate having someone that does everything he says. He wouldn’t want to have someone listen to everything he says and does anything he asks. Though he’ll never admit it, he likes having someone challenge him and tell him what to do.

Z- Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

- He always needs something on when he sleeps, wether it’s a TV show or a movie, he needs something for background noise. It’s a lot easier to sleep with nothing on when you’re over, he says it’s because it’s comforting to have another person there, but even when you’re over he insists on putting on a movie to fall asleep to.

[sillybruja]

hiii, I hope you're well. I want ask you about two synastry aspects if that's okay!

so I wanted to know your thoughts on Node conjunct Mars synastry in the 12th house and also Lilith conjunct Moon

Thank you so much! <3

Hiya! I can def explain my interpretation on this. Keep in mind this is just my interpretation!

Nodes conjunct Mars

Starting with the Nodes conjunct mars. Since the North/South nodes are all involving some form of karma, as well as the 12H house... paired with mars, the planet of sex, transformation, work, etc... I would say this aspect in synastry can bring a whole lot of change into your life, BUT it could also bring you a lot of of nothing too. When you have strong Node contact, particularly with personal planets, it is safe to say these two ppl came together to sort out, reap, or collect karma together. This synastry aspect is not easy, and I have seen this manifest in numerous ways. One of the most common ways I've seen this aspect play out is usually in a "what could have been" situation and/or situationship. If basing romantic compatibility on astrology, particularly this placement, I would say it can be very hard to maintain this relationship (not for everyone though) due to the fiery, impulsive nature of mars (or mars person) Negatively manifested, this couple can bicker for days, and sometimes have physically impulsive reactions, or heated debates. More positively manifested and I see two people who come together, feeling like they were on a "mission" in this life time. Given that all of this is happening in the 12H, I think it is fair to say that these two keep lots of secrets together, and from each other -- they probably often dream about each other a lot -- I have also seen this manifest as two people dreaming about their arguments too, and any issues they have. The 12H is also about hidden motives or enemies, what this synastry aspect can suggest is a few things: 1. You two came together to truly not know the motives of the other, but with the goal to learn discernment and trust. 2. This person *could* be a hidden enemy. 3. Both people with this synastry aspect some how sabotage the connection in some way, but they do more so with South Node mars synastry. However, when this happens -- it is often because mars person (or either person) has the wrong idea about the Node person. Sometimes one or both people could be under a delusion about the other person - particularly about their motives, intentions, morals, character etc. More positively aspected, and I see this having potential to be serious, consistent, loyal, and sacred. This could also be a very safe relationship as you feel this other person you have this synastry with knows your heart and soul to the core.

Lilith conjunct Moon

In terms of lilith conjunct moon... I will give my vague opinion because it genuinely depends on who is what placement, and where this aspect is but, I have noticed there is a unique sense of vulnerability the other person brings out of you. People you have this synastry with (romantic or not) will at some point, see you at your worst, and still love you for who you are (this is also for lilith conj. moon natal). I will say, this can be a challenging placement... especially since it seems a big theme of this aspect deals with emotional wounding & reoffending. The lilith person can often trigger the moon person's emotional wounds, especially if those wounds pertain to the mother wound. There's also an element of risk to this connection -- be it actual risk like one or both of you are unavailable (this gives emotional affair vibes), or one person feels a bit afraid to be emotionally vulnerable with the other due to the other's often displaced temperament There is definitely a bit of obsession involved with this aspect, as at some point one or both people feel very deeply invested in one another, and very curious to explore the deeper, darker sides of each other's psyche. Basically, this aspect can suggest a very deep and emotional, sexy connection that could be a bit obsessive and toxic if there's lots of bad aspects. I can also say with most certainty that one of the biggest themes of this aspect involves triggering each other's mother wounds, or in general, bringing up heavy issues with a mother figure. Could also signify that one (or both) of you have a mother who lacks boundaries and crosses the line (or could) with you partner. Lots of rough stuff can go on with this placement too.

[tomurakii]

My last post about bloodweave was pretty negative (though necessarily so imo) so I wanted to talk about the little things about the bloodweave dynamic that I DO like and want to see more of in fic (under the cut).

- the orb means Astarion can't start their relationship transactionally. Gale can't give Astarion blood, and also can't have sex with him (and presumably would refuse casual sex anyway). How would the relationship develop without Astarion being able to rely on the give-and-take, forced instead to just trust Gale will watch his back? Astarion isn't a plans guy, I imagine having to come up with something on the spot (considering none of the other companions are reeaaaally an option either) would lead to a lot more emotional vulnerability as he tries to take a route he has much less experience with. Not to mention that the flirty and standoffish front isn't exactly going to endear him to Gale, who approves of the capable, loyal, and righteous. How long can Astarion pretend to be invested in Gale's wellbeing before it becomes true?

- they both have bad ascension endings, but different natural outcomes. Gale is considered the more morally upstanding one, but in their solo states (without the player's influence) Gale will go through with ascension and Astarion won't. Would they goad each other on? Gale disapproves of Astarion's ascension, using arguments that could apply to himself about the personal sacrifice and loss of the soul. Would Astarion flip them around, become defensive? Their dynamic could mean the power hungry character ending up discouraging the pursuit of godhood, or the two of them hurtling over the edge together. Or, maybe, Astarion encouraging Gale to ascend and having to trust him to return.

- they're the party members with the most life experience, and they're also both pretty well-educated (even if Astarion's law qualifications may well have expired by the events of the game). He spent his time under Cazador sewing (like Gale in his Baldur's Gate epilogue) and learning languages (of which Gale knows four). They have enduring common interests beyond their circumstances. Gale can help Astarion rediscover the latent nerd potential he lost when he died, and lord knows he would love to pick his brain for a first hand account of the mid-to-late 12th century.

- Astarion recently regained hope for his future when the tadpole freed him, Gale recently lost all of it. While act 1 is a continuous series of positive discoveries for Astarion (tadpole frees him from cazador -> ceremorphosis is held off by the dream visitor -> tadpole can be controlled), Gale's life gets worse with time as his treatment stops working. It's a dynamic that could give Gale hope, force Astarion to practise empathy, or put them completely at odds.

- Astarion's all-encompassing desire to reclaim his life could be inspiring to Gale. Moreover, I imagine seeing just how passive Gale is about his death would infuriate him. To have so little regard for his real, mortal, free life? It's a great source of angst, and also a great starting point for Gale to start wanting to live again. Because after learning about Astarion's past he would agree, he'd recognise how much value a mortal life was supposed to have. He'd think himself ungrateful or impolite for entertaining the idea of throwing it away when Astarion would give anything to have what he had. This would lead to guilt, and potentially self-loathing, unless someone was there to help pick up the pieces.

- If Astarion meets Oblodra before Gale's act 2 romance scene, (or for a fanfic plot, just before Gale is confident enough to confess) they most likely won't have sex until the graveyard scene in late act 3 (or the post-ascension equivalent). It means that rather than the fuckfest we so often see from bloodweave fics, the relationship is almost entirely a slow-burning, emotionally intimate affair. I'd really love to see that play out, the progression from semi-horny yearning on both parts as the orb keeps them apart, to two love confessions that are followed by the both of them experiencing non-sexual intimacy for the first time in years. I doubt Mystra was one to hug her chosen, after all, or hold their hands.

I just love a bg3 ship that forces the characters to take different actions than they do in canon. It makes me feel like I'm developing a broader understanding of the characters, you know?

[plounce]

i think criticism of lyse's design is extremely valid. i think if she looked more like basically every other ala mhigan (brown) a lot of the wrinkles around her stormblood character* would get ironed out. however i do think that she is overly criticized. gamers hate when a woman has an arc where she grows and learns.

lyse's story is one of diaspora, and returning to her homeland and having to learn about how people live under occupation and how to work with that. there's a reason she is paired with hien (lived under the empire, helped lead a failed rebellion, and then fled into exile) and fordola (lived under the empire, doesnt know a free ala mhigo, is a depiction of how imperialism steals away a people's future (their youths) and chews them up in its machine to further crush resistance). she is both an outsider who asks questions to be a vehicle/companion protag for our wol to learn more about ala mhigo, and provides someone who is very emotionally invested in its struggle for freedom. contrast to heavensward: the person most emotionally invested in their own people is ysayle. estinien seems very mercenary and gruff and is mostly invested in his hatred of nidhogg, aymeric is a cool-headed politician who's trying to do what's right but also politically possible (aymeric the #bluewave), and haurchefant is pretty absent for a lot of the plot and is mostly invested in the wol. nobody is as passionate about ishgard as lyse is about ala mhigo (this is my perception, YMMV, etc, i am notably rather lukewarm on hvw). the point of lyse is that she must learn about the homeland she was ripped away from and still desperately wants to help. and to learn about something, you have to start out with a lack of knowledge. you know. like a character arc.

also i feel that people often misremember lyse's job. she is not the leader of ala mhigo. that's more raubahn's job. lyse became the leader of one specific cell of the ala mhigan resistance, of which there were many. she now has a position in their armed forces. we see her a lot when ala mhigo comes up in msq because 1. we are almost always with the scions and she is obviously gonna be ala mhigo's scion liasion 2. she is the character most strongly associated with ala mhigo so of course the writers are gonna use her for that. but while she is influential in the government she does not run it. also - lyse has experience as an anti-imperial activist! she was involved in multiple castrum infiltrations and both of the empire's massive defeats on the eorzean front! she's a scion, she has experience!

i have other thoughts but it is late. obviously not loving lyse doesn't make you a misogynist. i don't even feel very passionately about her, i think she's fine. i am talking more about macro-level fandom trends than accusing you the reader of being a gamergate mra. i also think that there's a lot of unpacked misogyny in all our heads that we need to deal with, and if that part of that means stepping back and giving female characters more grace and putting some mental energy into actively understanding/analyzing them, then all the better.

*i do realize that part of the issue was that they were stuck with her 1.0 design of a blonde white girl on a middy model (since f highlanders didnt exist for a while). perhaps there is a universe where her dropping the archon mark glamour changes a lot more about her appearance, and that lyse had a few different phenotypes than her sister - but i am not qualified to say whether this would be better or worse. there would be some interesting discussions on it, though.

[chefkids]

In your opinion, how could they have made Claire a better love interest? I’m a huge romantic, and even though I was suspicious of something between Syd and Carmy, I wasn’t really convinced until I saw the clear contrast with him and Claire. So as a pure hypothetical, how could Claire be made into a better love interest?

I mean I think there are two sides to this question: One is how could they have made Claire a better love interest who will actually end up with Carmy? The other is how could they have made Claire a better love interest who won't end up with Carmy but who most people would still enjoy watching as a character?

Dropping Claire out of the blue in Season 2 without even a mention of her before is just a very clear indication that she was never meant to stick around. If they wanted Claire to be someone serious for Carmy, either for endgame or at least believable for a season or two, they should have introduced her in the first season. The fact that she knew he was back in town for months, she was communicating with the Fak's and with Tiff, yet she never even approached him or tried to reconnect after his brother died or even just to pop by The Beef to say hi, just frames her as someone who was only interested in Carmy as a love interest for herself too. She saw him at the grocery store, thought he looked cute and had a glow up from high school, knew he was some big shot famous Chef and suddenly decided she wanted him in her life again.

There was no indication that Carmy was someone who she truly cared a lot about even if he didn't want to date her. Adding her in Season 2 felt like an afterthought and it made her seem like she was not actually as close and emotionally invested in him as she and everyone around her tried to make her seem. What makes Sydney more appealing as a love interest than Claire is that we actually see her care for him and his family and everything he's gone through even when she had no connection to him and when she had no real intent of pursuing a romantic relationship with him. Sydney cared about Carmy beyond just him being a potential boyfriend for her. If Claire had been shown to have an interest in Carmy outside of romance and we saw her be a part of his life, people could still have liked her even if they were meant to break up.

I'm sure in Season 3 we'll learn more about what happened after Fishes and what Claire saw and how/why they left things off when he went to New York and didn't talk for years. Claire and Carmy would have likely been in New York at the same, and yet again she didn't seem to make any effort to connect with him while he was there, and neither did he. Sydney found Carmy in New York and formed a connection, albeit one sided, by discovering his food and made an effort to pursue him, even just platonically. If they wanted to make Claire an actual serious love interest and the true long term love of his life since childhood, they needed to show that Carmy and/or Claire actually tried to reach out to each other during their time apart and actually missed each other.

They needed to build upon that invisible string that Syd and Carmy have. Carmy and Claire knew each other because they happened to be at the same place at the same time, they happened to have grown up together, they happened to have run into each other at a grocery store. Which is fine for the start of a relationship, just how Syd happened to try Carmy's food. But there was no push from either Carmy or Claire to have a connection other than the fact that they both happened to exist around each other. They have seemingly no similar interests beyond being raised in the same town. There was nothing to base their connection on in the show other than she is pretty and nice and he had crush on her. Adult relationships need more than physical attraction and kindness, there was no spark between them. There was nothing to indicate that Claire understood Carmy better than anyone else and vice versa.

Claire took it upon herself to try and push Carmy out of his shyness and took him to a party. She knew he didn't drink, she knew he grew up around alcoholics, she heard him say he wanted to leave as soon as they got there. Not everything about everyone needs to be fixed, and it's okay for Carmy to not be the type of person who enjoys parties or being around heavy drinking, even if he didn't have childhood trauma. Claire tried to change his interest, but Sydney never tries to change Carmy's actual personality traits, she just tells him when he needs to adjust his behavior when he's acting out. Claire used to be nerdy and not as pretty in school, then she changed and found herself to be a social party girl which she likes. She wanted to do the same to Carmy. What makes the audience like Carmy is the fact that he's not perfect, he's kinda awkward and weird at times, and that's okay. Having Claire try to fundamentally change the main characters personality and force interests onto him that he never previously cared about and even actively disliked just placed her in a bad light.

Carmy in his own way was trying to change her too, just less externally like her and more just in his head. He created an idea of what she would like based on what Sydney liked. Carmy would have actually had to put in an effort to know what Claire liked for us to know her and feel like she was a real character and person and not just a blank slate for Carmy to do whatever he wanted with.

There was also zero conflict between him and Claire for the most part. She was always available, never stressed, seemingly had no real problems aside from needing to move boxes for her mom and comfort crying Kelly. And it's not that she needs to be some traumatized or miserable person to be likable or to empathize with her, but even golden retriever nice guy Pete faces conflict in the show. The fact that Pete is not universally beloved and accepted as perfect and that he has conflict with other characters and even little bickerings with Nat like when he let Carmy use their freezer, just makes him a dimensional well rounded character even when he is a seemingly very normal level headed guy like Claire.

The fundamental problem with Claire is that she is tied to Carmy's past, and he does not like his past. He might have liked her in high school or had fond memories of her, but it is very clear he did not like himself in the past and everything he does with her reminds him of it. Claire would have to be written to have something new and different that makes Carmy want to connect with her and want to actually know her for her, if the show wanted any chance of Carmy breaking the connection he has of her with his past and making her a serious and believable relationship for him. There is nothing about who she is present day that has shown that Carmy really cares about her personality, and even she does not seem that invested into Carmy's personality without trying to change it to fit her own lifestyle.

If Claire had a discernible personality, a connection we actually saw with him beyond the romance, conflict with Carmy and other characters, she would have had an actual chance of being more appealing to viewers as a stand alone character, regardless of if they ended up together permanently or not.

[peachdues]

Re: bundle of joy - I can't get Sanemi's comment abt how he watched his mom suffer miscarriages at the hand of his father out of my head. What if he saw his mom cry every time she realized she was pregnant again? Like she loved all of her kids, but she knew what their dad would do to them. What if he also helped take care of his mom through her pregnancies and post-partum because his dad never did? I'm just UGH I'm SO SOFT FOR NEMI.

THIS THIS THIS.

Sanemi was the eldest and therefore took on the most responsibility after his mother, and he was a mama’s boy through and through. I think his mother was his single biggest influence. I actually think his early life observing his father’s treatment of his mother plays a huge role in how he approaches Y/N’s pregnancy — and his relationship with her in general.

I imagine that everything he did for Y/N in Bundle of Joy, he learned by helping his mother during her pregnancies. I agree that he probably saw how difficult pregnancy was for his mother (because let’s be real, none of those kids were born from love, and that’s heartbreaking), and has long since promised that if he ever has a child, he will do everything he can for both his kid and their mother. He’s ecstatic at first, but then Y/N says she wants to keep things in the down-low for a bit, and suddenly he’s terrified that he’s done to her what his father did to his mother, and he would rather die than cause her any pain. I think his deepest insecurity is becoming like his father, and while Sanemi can be a hardass and tough, he cannot be anything other than soft for his lover and their children.

I think that after the kid is born (and let’s be real, he is so girl-dad coded), he would take the most parenting inspiration from his mother. Sure, Sanemi is still going to be Sanemi, but both he and Genya idolized their mother. Not only does he love his kid without limit, but I could also see him trying to incorporate her gentle way of parenting, too. He wants his child(ren) to have everything he didn’t when he was growing up, and he will do anything to ensure they get it.

Something that I wish we saw more of in the Sanemi-realm of demon slayer content is more of an understanding of how he treats women in general. I think there’s a tendency to write him along the same lines of how Obanai treats other female slayers apart from Shinobu and Mitsuri, but I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate.

We’re told several times that Sanemi is kind to women, but I don’t think that’s limited to non-Corps women. He observes a lower-ranked female slayer being harassed by M*dea and straight up makes the pig piss himself by yelling so much at him. He doesn’t tolerate any disrespect towards women because Sanemi starts every day by drinking his Respect Women Juice. I’m not saying he’s soft on female slayers, but I think he’s definitely more subdued. He’s not going to level personal/emotional attacks against them because that’s what his father did (along with the physical abuse) and Sanemi hates his father.

Honestly, tempted to explore more of the Bundle of Joy universe — like how Y/N and Sanemi actually meet and get together/their time in their secret relationship, and even as parents. Sanemi doesn’t strike me as someone who sleeps with another without already being emotionally invested in them to some degree, because he doesn’t like to feel as though he’s using them as a means to an end. I would like to write some parallels between Y/N’s pregnancy and his memories of his mothers’ pregnancies and show how they directly influenced him later on. We’ll see!

[hockeyisforthegays]

gotta know how you felt after reading kugisakis epilogue :D

ooooh ok well. im pretty sure the things i have to say are overall more criticism than positivity just to warn you. let me start with some of the positive things which include: kugisaki is looking SOOOO cute. its a great outfit great hairstyle etc. i also like the idea behind her motivation for seeking out her mother, that she's doing it out of respect for gojo's last stated wishes to her, even though she has no personal interest in this herself? that has something intriguing within it. however. it also dovetails into my criticisms bc

one. i wish we learned anything at all about why that would possibly be gojo's last wishes for nobara. we don't get enough in the epilogue to see if there's anything particularly important she could derive from seeing her mom, unless it's the vengeful pleasure of siccing her grandma on her? in which case, i would love to know that. that could be an interesting move for gojo to make, and one that could potentially make sense given his own implied shitty family. however you notice how i have to reach a bit to get there? because we dont even get the text of gojo's letter or anything afaik. as it is, the way it's written leaves me wondering why the hell gojo, who has already experience with a child who Does Not Care Or Want To Know about their deadbeat parent, would decide to provide This for another child who [insert repeated phrase here]

two. kugisaki caring about gojo's last wishes to such a point seems like a really cool character/relationship decision until i think about it for two seconds and go. well. it would have been cooler, more emotionally resonant, if the gojo and kugisaki dynamic had any canonical depth at all. in fact i am trying to think about Any and Every interaction they have in the canonical story and im coming up with 1. when kugisaki is introduced and 2. when she gets eyeballed and he's one of the people she sees in her chair dream sequence and UHHH. I THINK THAT MIGHT BE ALL GANG. obviously you can say implicitly they spent a lot of time together its just not shown, they're relationship would have developed. but uh. that's an entirely different than the time and importance given to something by the narrative which is supposed to. you know. give depth to the things it wants us to care about, so that we actually can develop a genuine investment in them without having to rely on our imaginations/non canon material/etc.

connecting to the third and most obvious critique which is. like gege already set up? characters that kugisaki cared about? saori and fumi? who i hoped we'd see any sort of closure on? instead we introduce in THE LAST CHAPTER the idea of a new character never before mentioned and kugisaki literally goes Well I Don't Care About That. and then we follow her to find out about that character anyway. why? what is Anyone getting out of that narratively? kugisaki doesn't care, not even the audience is given room to develop investment in that storyline. it just happens at the expense of a storyline that was at least given some amount of set up for the audience to invest in.

and im not even touching on the Tropes used to establish the mom herself's character. in a vacuum potentially this archetype could be done in an interesting valid way (could even be taken as a gender inversion of the sleazy deadbeat dad tropes that are generally more common in this genre) but uhhh given gege's track record with female characters. well it twigs some alarm bells lets just say

[piracytheorist]

Hello will be a kiss Twiyor at some point in history ?

Hi! Honestly, I'm 50/50 on this.

On one hand, I believe twiyor will be canon, in one way or another we will be shown that they've become an actual, real couple. Ideally post-reveal, so they can learn to love each other without any big secrets and lies between them.

On the other hand, manga and anime usually aren't super explicit on kisses, especially if they're targeted towards younger audiences. The Spy x Family manga is rated 16+, while the anime is rated TV-14, and it's shounen, so I wouldn't be surprised if they never even exchange "I love you"s, honestly, considering how rarely those words are said out loud in Japanese culture. Spy x Family is shounen, and those have even fewer kisses than shoujo and josei manga.

I'm guessing that Endo writes from his own experience, and mostly with a Japanese audience in mind. And that audience is used to couples going only as far as holding hands or maybe hugging. Kissing isn't a big thing, especially in shounen manga.

That said, the setting is in a fictional European country, and as a European myself I feel that Endo has done a great job making the characters and the setting feel European. And in European media, for the most part, kisses are a big part of romance. That too said, SxF isn't a romance, and even when twiyor becomes canon I doubt it will shadow the relationship of Anya with her parents, and the family in general. So it's quite possible that there won't be an actual kiss between Yor and Loid in the story, because their relationship won't get that much focus to warrant the need of an on-screen kiss. If there is one, it might be the kind of Big Damn Kiss that tv tropes talks about, and just the one, to "solidify" the relationship to the audience.

I think it could be used in the story to show character development. Twilight started relationships with women only for the needs of his missions, never investing emotionally in them. With Yor, how will it feel that he actually feels things when they kiss, and how will it feel that he wants and desires to kiss her, after he'd spent all his years as a spy denying himself any human connections? And for Yor, it would be a big step in letting someone close, in feeling safe and secure in someone approaching her enough for that. Her job has poisoned her view of close proximity, since the only people that get so close to her are Yuri (whom she basically raised) and her victims (who attack her, and she has to defend herself before she kills them - proximity with them means danger). She's already being affectionate with Anya, but that is similar to how Yuri was like with her when they were young. How will it feel like to have Twilight, a man who lied and cheated and coated his hands with blood, approach her to kiss her and for her to feel safe, to know that whatever happens, he will actually protect her and fight alongside her and not against her?

So maybe yes, maybe not. I honestly hope we do get at least one kiss, but I wouldn't be surprised (though I would be a little sad, due to my own expectations) if we never got one.

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[verdemoun]

one of the many RDR2 time travel fics but instead of John or Arthur returning to Colter, someone like Sean, Lenny or Kieran. Not sure how it would work but its a fun idea.

Since Sean would have such limited knowledge of the events of the game, being one of the first to die, and even if Kieran knew he wouldn't have the power to do anything to change it, I think it would be cool if Lenny got time travelled.

Lenny stops Sean from being shot by asking him to come on a robbery with him when Bill starts talking about the 'security job'. This results in Bill being shot instead (rip Bill).

He also stops Jack from being kidnapped, but the gang still retaliate against the Braithwaites for even attempting it. Kieran feels indebted to Lenny for realising the Braithwaite boys weren't meant to know where camp is.

Lenny takes full advantage of this to guilt Kieran into actually being part of the gang. Forcing him to sit with him at campfires, taking him out on jobs, taking Bill's spot in the tent with him and Hosea.

Kieran is actually being treated like part of the gang means Lenny is no longer the newest gun. Despite being a decade older than him, it's obvious Kieran now looks up to Lenny and Lenny's ego is inflated because of it. But more importantly, his opinion as slightly more weight. Only more than Kieran's, but to the right ear, a lot more.

Convincing himself it's the only way to make sure Sean and Kieran stay safe, Lenny regularly finds jobs and forces them both to go with him. They end up bringing in a pretty good amount of money, and Lenny thinks they're going to be okay because the gang haven't encountered Bronte at all in this timeline. Spirits are high in camp!

He gets to see Sean and Kieran become friends!! Having missed their conversations in canon, he was shocked to hear Sean actually remember stuff Kieran had said about his life and Kieran make jokes about calling Colm 'Colom'.

However, the O'Driscolls still attack Shady Belle, minus a headless horseman. This confirms to Lenny that Kieran was most likely taken directly from camp in the original canon, and didn't go willingly like some members of the gang suspected. This leads to the urgency to find a new location, which brings up the Saint Denis Bank job.

Since they have extra guns in the form of Sean and Kieran still being around (though no Bill), Lenny offers to go with Hosea and Abigail pretending he wants to learn about the conning side of outlawing instead of the shooting. Hosea is delighted.

This is where things start to go wrong. Abigail is captured instead of Hosea. John immediately loses his mind and shoots Milton, which means Abigail lives but the shootout is chaos. Kieran is shot in the shoulder in the place where Lenny was meant to die, which means they are officially off script and Lenny has no idea what is happening next.

Kieran buys them time to get to the hiding spot, because bless his heart the only thing that boy is good for is running. Dutch is unravelling because he didn't see what happened to Hosea. Sean and Lenny, having done similar schemes on their heists, are the ones to distract the guards.

Charles, John, Arthur, Micah, Javier and Dutch are the ones who end up on the boat, which still wrecks in the storm. John drowns. Charles gets emotionally invested in helping Hercule, and considers staying in Guarma to help if not for the fact he's realised Arthur is sick. Micah almost talks Dutch into leaving Javier behind when he's captured, playing on Dutch's guilt that he already lost one son - would he risk another for Javier?

Hosea leads the gang to Moonstone Pond instead of Lakay, which is much comfier. Despite having lost so many, with no idea where the Guarma gang are, there is the slowly dawning revelation they can survive without Dutch or depending so much on Arthur.

Lenny, Sean, and a begrudging Sadie, go rescue Kieran from Sisika. Due to lackluster medical care that wasn't exactly a priority for prisoners, Kieran's arm has been amputated, ending his usefulness to the gang.

Instead of the celebration cut short by Milton's appearance, the Guarma gang's return is nothing but misery. The camp gang learn John is dead, and Arthur is sick (with Charles having forced him to go to a hospital the second they reached shore - slightly earlier than canon). Javier, having had to fend for himself despite healing (without Bill playing caretaker), has a noticeable limp in the leg he was shot in.

John's place in the gang was completely understated in canon. Dutch has lost his protege. John was the prodigal son, the one who's return meant everything would be right again, and he is gone. Abigail is completely catatonic in mourning. Hosea has lost one son, and now knows he may need to bury another before his time is up.

And Dutch is still talking about one last, big score.

Hosea puts his foot down. They're done, it's over. The time of outlaws is up. He is taking Abigail, Jack, Arthur and anyone else who wants to come with him, out west: where they were meant to be in the first place, where the air is warm and dry, where no one is looking for them anymore thanks to Dutch's distractions.

Dutch gives one of his chapter 6 'there ain't no freedom for no one in this country no more' speeches that reveals how unhinged he has become over John's death.

There's simply no one left to stand beside him, except for Micah. Javier, the only one as deeply affected by John's death as Abigail, wants to go with Hosea's gang: for Jack, to be there for the poor young boy who doesn't understand his pa isn't coming back this time.

Miss Grimshaw takes Tilly, and a drunken Molly (who has given up on Dutch loving her and lost herself to alcohol) to make proper women of them. She offers the same governance to Karen and Mary-Beth who, while appreciative, refuse. Some bridges were burned long before Dutch's downfall.

Mary-Beth wants to go back to the city, and make a name for herself writing novels. She coaxes Kieran to come with her with the promise of stables, of horses he can care for despite his newfound disability, and whatever peace they can find together.

Strauss would rather fend for himself than stay with only Dutch and Micah. Reverend had given up on the gang the second he heard Dutch's speech: he lost his faith in their leader and refound his faith in religion. Sadie had realised she can fend for herself, and would rather die trying on her own than die for the gang.

Lenny takes off with Karen and Sean, the brains to their reckless charm. He reads Micah and Dutch were shot dead trying to rob a train. 1899 finishes, 1900 begins. He falls into the same state of perpetual drunkeness as Karen and Sean, trying to forget everything and everyone they lost. And when it's dark, when Karen and Sean have retired for the evening or already passed out, he wonders if he dies again, will he have a chance to find a better ending for them all.

[shegeekery]

Pretend there's a clever title here (intro post)

Update: I'm going to start putting links to my fanfics in this post as well. If you prefer reading on AO3, my author page is here. Splintered (DW/Loki crossover, 13,439 words) Dream Therapy (One-shot about Erik Selvig, 1,308 words) Misfits (Jane Foster & Loki in Valhalla, 15,714 words)

Update: I have a side-blog for spiritual stuff now (@finally-learning-to-be-me ). This main blog is mostly for fandom and general stuff. Norse Loki and MCU Loki are two very different things in my mind, but it can get confusing if it’s all jumbled up together in one blog.

Guess I should probably introduce myself on this platform...

Hi everyone. I'm a geeky, AuDHD, NB, Gen-X software engineer and mom. I'm a long-time Doctor Who fan, but since the Loki S2 finale I've been completely obsessed. (I mean, seriously? David Tennant and RTD were coming back and suddenly all I could think about was Loki? How did that happen?) I just needed others to share with as I'm socially isolated and my family doesn't get into these things the way I do.

If you couldn't tell from my previous posts, I spend a lot of time thinking about (over-thinking?) certain characters. Nice to read all of your posts and know that I'm not alone in this!

I don't really get emotionally invested in ships, but I don't mind reading others' takes on them. Lokius, Sylkie, OB/Casey, whatever. It's all good. The only thing I actively avoid (in any fandom or in tabloids, for that matter) is anything that involves shipping real, living people. That's a line I'm not comfortable crossing. I've dabbled in writing fan-fic in the past and I think I may do so again in the not-too-distant future.

Other interests include studying history and connecting with other autistic folk online. I've stopped using other social media platforms, though — too much drama and not enough listening. Who needs it?

I know I'm older than the vast majority of people here and I'm more than a little self-conscious about it. I seriously considered not mentioning it at all, but I've spent most of my life trying to hide who I really am in a vain effort to "fit in" and just don't want to do that anymore. Hope that's okay with you all. Truth is, I've never connected easily with people my own age.

Views: social democrat, strongly pro-LGBTQI+ (one of my daughters is trans and nothing brings out the mama-bear in me like transphobic nonsense), anti-genocide, agnostic, anti-bullying of any kind.

[matchaflavored]

So whats your favorite thing about Trey Clover? Essays welcomed, encouraged even

CRACKS KNUCKLES, then an essay I shall give you... you have been warned! Now... when i first played the game, I only had very superficial impressions about each character. This was also when there was very little content in the game itself. It was hard for me to gauge which character I would try to emotionally invest my soul into, so I went with a type a character I've always been fond towards: kind and older brotherly or mentor types. I really didn't know much about him besides that and I'm kind of glad I didn't then because everything that came after was a pleasant surprise of consistent and compelling writing. Now, I do think that's applicable to every character so I'll try to be more specific.

I've always talked about how I think Trey's writing is "unique", but that's more of me appreciating that as a character he's specifically written in a way where it's very difficult to take any of his words at face value. Analyzing him feels like a really good brain exercise, and at some point you start to notice he's very carefully crafted his image so he can come off as ordinary as possible. Well, I do think the general fanbase knows he's not exactly as unconditionally altruistic as he's insisted he is and other characters have pointed out he's weird about coming off as average, but I do think there's more to him than just being "two-faced". Frankly, I think it's sort of incorrect to describe him that way. Like, yes, he can be inconsiderate and deceptive, but I find it extremely tame in comparison to the rest of the cast. Ultimately, he doesn't do things because he's a malicious person. That being said, I really enjoy that he's the type of character who can be doting and compassionate, but not exactly empathetic so he doesn't particularly care about not being the most truthful person. I don't think these two things are mutually exclusively, but they're definitely treated as such. It's definitely what I enjoy the most about him, because after that I was like oh, so what about Trey is him being "genuine" then?

Now, Trey isn't a very emotive person, so you kind of have to parse which situations would get him to admit something about himself that won't damage his reputation, won't bring attention onto him, or won't reveal too much about him. There are a few exceptions to this (the biggest being when the topic involves Riddle, but that is a Trey + Riddle essay and will make this ask longer than it is so I'll save that for another day), but in general I tend to cross reference his stories because he can tend to be very... contradictory. Not in a "he's a flippant person" way, but in a "one of the things he said isn't true and you have to see which situation would get him to lie" way.

I guess as an adult, I enjoy this type of writing more as this type of polite 24/7 psychological navigation is relatable haha. Everything I read about him feels fulfilling, like I'm learning something new about him or am able to be conclusive about another aspect of him even though he views himself as just Trey Clover. Nothing more, nothing less. But figuring out his thoughts and feelings he tries so much to cover up will be something about the game I'll never get over.

tldr: Trey says he's some guy ninety percent of the time and someone who's this insistent about it while being fairly inconspicuous but never too terribly evil must be hiding something.

[kylejsugarman]

do au squared jesse's feelings of inadequacy or self hatred mean he ever neglects baby, physically or emotionally?

yeah :( i know im number one conflict avoider but giving a 24 year old drug addict who experiences The horrors a literal infant to take care of is not going to go perfectly. he makes a lot of mistakes early on due to ignorance and sometimes due to being high or just not paying the right attention, but thats part of the learning curve and theyre more like direct concrete mistakes that he can be like "oh shit" and try to fix. as the show goes on and things just continually Get So Much Worse though, jesse understandably feels Tormented and like hes the source of the evil thats slowly poisoning his life and that really exacerbates his ongoing inner conflict of "wanting to be the sole provider for baby and not trusting anyone else to take care of her, but also feeling disgustingly inadequate and like his poison is eventually going to destroy baby too". when hes in his really low pizza sonic crackhouse place, he struggles the most with this conflict and does emotionally neglect baby because he Thinks this is the correct course of action. he's a murderer and the bad guy and baby shouldn't even be close to him. he leaves her with demi whenever he possibly can and is distant and sad when she's around, feeling even worse every time he looks at her. obviously, baby doesnt understand wtf his damage is and gets upset as they spend more time apart both physically and emotionally, which just reinforces his notion that he's bad for her.

jesse's on the verge of straight up handing over baby to demi despite the absolute agony that would cause him when a night comes that throws everything back into perspective for him. it's shortly after the "gus decides to invest in jesse and keep him from killing himself" arc begins where the Party is beginning to wind down, but theres still some people around and hes still using intermittently. hes coming down from a high downstairs when he hears baby crying upstairs in her room, which he always keeps closed and locked with one of those child proof (and meth head proof) locks so no "guests" can never enter her room. her crying doesnt just trigger that parent, "let me go see what they need" reflex: it Hurts him. terrified that someone got in and is hurting her, he hurries up the stairs and fumbles with the lock for a long moment before finally managing to let himself in. there's no one else there, thank god, just baby wailing in her crib. he picks her up, automatically checking to see if she's wet (nope), then notices that she feels a little warm. he knows by now that babies get sick all the time—"u look away for five minutes and they'll start running a fever," mike will say to him later on during a drop—but that realization still feels awful. jesse's about to have the "i did this and baby needs to be away from me" thought and call demi when baby makes her grabby hands. desperate for a hold. desperate for Him. he obliges, holding her close and feeling her little body wiggle around to eliminate any possible space between them. she wants him. in spite of Everything, she wants him specifically. he ends up sitting there in her room for a long while, just cuddling her as she cries and eventually calms down and nuzzles his neck even though his scruff is probably all scratchy. there's stuff to do (the baby thermometer is downstairs and he should still have some infant tylenol around), but he just sits and cuddles her first. baby still loves him. he hasn't poisoned her and the distance has just been hurting the both of them instead of protecting her. he loves his baby so, so much and he promises her in his head that he's going to be better for both of them. they both deserve it.

[jpriest85-blog]

I'm getting too emotionally invested in @gonzague-if that I've decided to go develope Headcanons about my Prince Médée's family. I've even come up with concept designs and created a family tree charting their relationship dynamics with each other.

I've given Médée's younger brother Philippe the full name of Gonzague from the Le Bossu novel to tell him apart from his sister. Also, I headcanon if little Philippe had survived to adulthood, he would look very much like the novel version Gonzague. Despite the fact Philippe was on the track to turning into an abusive POS like his father, I headcanon Médée didn't actually want him to die. They probably got along when they were young children considering how close in age they were, but Médée is probably the only one old enough to remember those times. Also, even with Philippe being their father's favorite and heir doesn't necessarily mean he was free from his father's abuse. Philippe had to learn that behavior somewhere, and I wouldn't be surprised if the former Prince used harsh corporal punishment on his heir if the boy showed weakness, even if Philippe wasn't punished as often as Médée. Also, considering their father was a firm believer in only the strong survive, I wouldn't be surprised if he pitted his own children against each other to see which is stronger. Médée figured out early on that her father sees her and her brother more as valuable chess pieces rather than his children, so she doesn't care about winning his approval, she just tries to succeed just enough to avoid punishment. Philippe, however, was still young enough to care about his father's opinion. So he gets very jealous and angry when his bastard half-sister gets praised by his father for being clever when she gets better marks on their arithmetic studies, or when the girl he has a crush seems more interested in spending time with his older sister because Médée is the "cool fashionable teenager," while Philippe is still at that awkward preteen phase and bigger than most of the other kids. So he lashes out at his sister physically because acknowledging his emotions and insecurities is weakness.

Considering the previous Prince of Gonzague, didn't seem to grieve the death of his only son but instead made Médée his heir by forcing her to literally replace her brother, even giving her Philippe's name and raising her as a boy. It is safe to assume he was an absolute bastard. Which seemed fitting considering out of his children his illegitimate daughter is the one who physically resembles him the most. Médée inherited his nose, square face shape, and height. While Philippe had his father's dark curly hair and eyes, he had softer features and a rounder face like his mother. Médée despises the fact that she looks so much like him, even long after her father's death. Even though she inherited her blonde wavy hair from her mother, it started darkening as she got older. So Médée will often have Peyrolles help her lighten her hair regularly. Most people at court assume it's just for fashion since blonde hair was in vogue at the time. In reality Médée does it because she hates how much she is forcefully reminded of her father whenever she catches a glimpse of her reflection with darker hair, especially when wearing suits. He's dead now she made damn sure of it! Her father can no longer hurt her or control her life again!

It probably shouldn't have surprised Médée that her father was also controlling with her birth mother as well, a fact she didn't learn until after her father's death when she found some letters in her father's personal effects. Until then Médée never knew anything about her mother, except that she inherited her eye and hair color from her. Apparently, her birth mother was a Mezzo-soprano opera singer from Vienna named Laura, whom her father became enamored with after watching her perform Dafne for the court in Mantua during his youth. It seems that despite the fact her father despised "weakness," he was also a hypocrite, considering how pathetically in love he was with her mother from his letters. Especially since from her mother's responses Médée could figure out her mother was politely indifferent at best to her father's affections before gradually starting to resent and despise him. Considering how competitive the theater can be, actors and opera singers can be just as scheming and cut throat as the nobility at Versailles, except their poisoning and assination attempts are usually only on stage. Apparently Médée likely inherited her cunning and charisma from her birth mother as the Austrian Prima Donna earned her spot not just for her musical talents but also knowing how to plot and recruit alliances to get ahead. Unfortunately, Laura's ambitions to secure a Nobleman sugar daddy backfired, and she wound up with a possessive and controlling Baby Daddy instead. If the Prince's attempts to woo his golden haired songbird wouldn't make her love him, he has other means to get her to agree to become his mistress. His title and influence give him enough strength to threaten to ruin Laura's career she tries to leave him, and being unable to outright rejects the Prince for fear of her lively hood...well an unplanned pregnancy would shackle her to him as well as any chains. Her mother does eventually escape her father and flee the country but unfortunately had to leave baby Médée behind. Early in her opera career Médée's mother was often cast in "breech roles," where a female performer would play a male character, which not only seems to be a trait Médée inherited but helped her avoid being found after fleeing the county.

As for the late Princesse de Gonzague, we unfortunately don't know much about her other than she was a gambling addict and died shortly after giving birth to her son (although considering how Médée's father was it's a reasonable suspicion that his wife didn't die from complications from child birth like most people assume). It can be safe guess she was not happy being married to such an awful man, and like most noble women from this time period, she probably left the raising and care for young Médée to a nurse or nanny. I do headcanon that Médée's stepmother also had lighter hair, partly because it would be easier for her father to pass her off as Philippe if his wife had a similar hair color. Also, I think it's funny if Médée's father had a fondness towards beautiful blonde women, but they always wind up hating him😂.

[suzannahnatters]

Thank you so much for opening this up and for the list, Suzannah! :) Below are my asks~~

5. What is your ultimate favourite book?

11. Favourite authors? (Feel free to include/emphasize the underrated/non pop ones ;)

31. Is there a particular album/movie/TV show that really matched the vibes of a book you read? Which ones?

39. Favourite book to movie/TV show adaptation? (feel free to throw in a few - old+new are appreciated ;)

42. If you could change the ending of any one book, which book would you pick and why?

58. A book that emotionally wrecked you?

Thank you so much!

5. My favourite book of all time is The Lord of the Rings. Not a single misplaced word. The greatest artistic achievement of the 20th century, bar none. Demonstrates magnificent command of narrative, spectacular use of language, majestic thematic resonance, unforgettable settings and characters, impeccable grasp of military strategy and tactics, and an ending so poignant in its bittersweet emotion that it lifts an already brilliant book into the pantheon of great classics.

It may surprise you to learn that this is my favourite book because I've never even attempted to write anything remotely like it, but this is simply me recognising that I'd be an utter loon to try.

11. Favourite authors? I have so many! Among the dead my faves are JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis, Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, and Edmund Spenser. The most obscure author I'm really abnormal about is Spenser, whose Faerie Queene is a magnificent epic of knights, monsters, virtues, vices, and the coolest ladies you will ever meet (Britomart, my love!!!). My favourite author of nonfiction is William Dalrymple who writes about travel and history mostly in Asia and is always worthwhile. 31. I'm having a lot of trouble with this one, so I'm going to flail out wildly and say that the album "Arcadia" by Eurielle is, from memory, a really close vibe match with Elizabeth von Armin's The Enchanted April, which is totally a book you should all read - peaceful, sunshiny, nostalgic.

39. Right now my favourite book-to-screen adaptation is Dune - Villeneuve's two movies are a brilliant adaptation job that capture what makes the book great and then improve on it in some key ways. Other noteworthy adaptations include The Princess Bride for a note-perfect adaptation of an already enormously fun book and Crazy Rich Asians which is SO much better than the book it's hard to believe.

42. Ooh! There are two books I absolutely adore, but the endings really disappointed me. Anthony Trollope's Can You Forgive Her? is one of my favourites of his, but I will always be disappointed that Alice ends up with John Grey - he starts out by disrespecting and gaslighting her, and while they eventually patch things up at the end, I never felt that he had really learned his lesson or would treat Alice any better in the future, and given that the book is over 300,000 words long I was super invested in Alice getting a good ending and I will never not be disappointed that she didn't. On the other hand, there's The Prisoner of Zenda in which the hero and heroine heroically relinquish their love for honour and this is why I can never write a good old-fashioned swashbuckler, even though I adore reading them, because deep down I don't believe that one should act like a turnip for the sake of honour, and you can't have a swashbuckler without that. 58. The most emotionally wrecked I've ever been by a book is Jennie by Paul Gallico. I was a BLUBBERING MESS but also mad about it to this day because I don't think he had the right to do that to anyone.

(Ask me more asks!)

[peachypede]

Small update. Daphne, his heracross, is now a regular colored Heracross because I wanted to give Pecha a shiny Heracross. (Can you tell my favorite shiny is Heracross kfgjsdkf)

Voice Claim: TBD

Battle Theme: Battle! Bug Type Expert by Maxo

Height: 6'2" (187 cm)

Weight: 245 lbs (111 kg)

Birthday: May 1st

Current Residence: Nimbasa, Unova

Likes: Bug types, Camping, Hiking, Foraging, Wilderness survival, wrestling pokemon, seeing his kids succeed in any way, Educating others on how to properly care for bug-types, learning new things about bugs!

Dislikes: hatred and mistreatment of bug-types, professors who act like they know everything

Fears: His kids ending up in a relationship that hurts them

Born in Hammerlocke, Galar to emotionally distant but wealthy parents, Calhoun often spent much time in the wild area befriending wild pokemon. He particularly became hyper fixated on bug types to the point that when he grew up, he decided to work towards being a pokemon professor (which required apprenticeship under a professor) but also wanted a doctorate in entomology (which requires traditional education) so Calhoun would juggle a lot of time between apprenticing for Professor Magnolia in Postwick then commuting to school back in Hammerlocke.

Though Proffessor Magnolia tried to convince him to continue her study on dynamax phenomena and his parents attempted to force him into the family's big investment business, Cal's heart longed for travel instead. When he graduated at 28 with a doctorate, he would leave Galar to go studying bug types abroad. It was during these travels that he would meet a woman in Unova named Persim Rodriguez. They would very quickly get married and soon after had their first child, a daughter they named Pecha.

Calhoun would become confused by Persim's sudden change in behavior after Pecha was born. Instead of kind, fun, and loving she would become easily frustrated with him to the point of screaming. Not only that, she'd rather leave most of the childcare to either Cal or her parents, Trueno and Leppa. At first, Cal thought that this was just due to the stress of becoming a new mother so he pushed through, but the behavior continued to the point where Persim began actively abusing Cal and neglecting her children. It would come to a head when Persim left the two children in the car during a summer day. Cal was quick to divorce Persim and gained full custody of his children and the three of them would move in with Trueno and Leppa, who had disowned their daughter and offered to help Cal raise the kids.

Cal embraced the new freedom he had with his kids and would take them on lots of trips. He loved having them with him when he was studying bugs instead of them being stuck inside at home. However, once they were teens, Leppa would approach Cal and tell him that they should attend school. It was difficult for Cal, but he decided to enroll them in Naranja-Uva Academy and, being a bit of a over-protective father, he also applied to be the biology teacher there and would stay as the biology teacher until Rawst graduated.

With his children all grown up, Cal suddenly found himself a bit aimless. He would help them through the tough times both of them would have attempting to find what they wanted to do but Cal couldn't help but realize he was in the same boat. Taking a note out of Rawst's book, Cal decided to start not only a youtube channel but a small bug type foster center as well where he would make youtube videos on how to properly care for bug type pokemon.