#but i said i wouldnt rant so ill stop

[void-hugs]

we owe it to ourselves and to others to be authentic and united

it's not only how we survive but how we thrive

- 🧡

[soni-dragon]

Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered

[tally-vi]

i was only gonna write in the tags but that turned into a rant so

warning! don’t open the tags unless you want a long unorganized rant!

ABOUT THE ALEX KISTER SITUATION

Just found out about the situation, and this might give me hate, but I think its important to say:

LETS WAIT TO HEAR ALEX KISTER

As disgusting as the allegations are, we shouldnt turn this into another Kwite situation. People are already jumping the gun and claiming that him being a creep is the absolute truth, but we all need to wait.

I hate saying this, but this could be fake. I don't like thinking this but after so many cases of shit like this I can't help but have to doubt and wait.

If the allegations are true than I will post here and apologize for doubting the victims. As someone who suffered with stuff like that before, I hope to God that no one ever goes through something like those people did.

Anyway, I might go to bed now, I hope he responds soon so I can have the full picture

[gamblersdoll]

PUT MY NAME ON IT, NOW IT DESIGNER 4.2

smut, behind scenes, filler.

“oh shit ma..”

hakari grabs your hips from behind, gripping on them with such vice and angles himself, slamming into that gummy spot again.

you curl your toes and roll your eyes back, moaning into the pillow on the couch as he plows into your juicy cunt. hed been pounding into you for about a good ten minutes, claiming that you were the one sucking him back in. but in actuality he was so needy for you, it had been so long since he had your pussy for himself. so he wasnt going to let you run.

“take this shit, stop runnin..” he groaned out, keeping a steady rhythm on his hips to make you clench and whine. “who pussy this is?”

“yours kin—uhh!” you cut yourself off with a moan, drooling into the pillow and reaching your hand back to his, only for it to be slapped away. “kinji fuck– please baby!”

“you can keep beggin’, i ain done with my pussy though.” he said with a slight growl, throwing his head back and his thrusts were faster, knocking the wind out of your body.

the moment could be soured when sinji decided to call, making you try and answer. “kin, hes callin, we gotta stop!”

“uh uh, ill be quiet unless you are.”

you rolled your eyes, answering the phone and having it on speaker. “yes sinji?”

“is that fucker still there?” he asks, anger and frustration apparent on his end. you reply no, asking him what he wanted.

“i dont like him, stop talking to him. do you forget what he does?” sinji says, only having hakari hear and slam into your cervix, kissing along your back as you silently moan. “hello?!”

“sinji, im sleepy. can we just.. talk about it tomorrow? promise.” you absently lie, biting your lip as hakari plays with your clit as he licks up your folds.

“you know what, fine, you better have a good excuse for me or imma be mad.” you hang up the phone, on for hakari to slide his dick back in and have a tit in his hand.

“thats my girl, take allat shit..” he moans, pressing his chest to your back and grinding the tip into your cervix. “fuck im gonna fucking cum..” he whispers in your ear, licking at it.

you squirm, feeling his cock convulse in your pussy and a wave of nervousness has you in a chokehold. “did you just cu-“ hakari cuts you off.

“you didnt feel the condom?” hakari asks, showing you the used condom he so filled, his seed pooling at the reservoir. “i wouldnt do that shit to you, babydoll.”

“oh..”

“the fuck you been with who did that shit? was it sinji? it was sinji. imma fuck him up—“ he rants, before you tap him.

“no, it wasn’t anyone, i promise.” you say, calming his nerves. he nods, kissing your plump lips so softly and wiping you with a warm towel.

you end the night with some movie he had picked, laying there half naked while he was fully dressed, because he had to leave early for his club, only to tuck you into bed when you were out cold. he kisses your forehead, turning on a fan, since you could not sleep without one, and turning off a light.

“night, babydoll.”

[toastyyjams]

TELL US ALL OF YOUR ORV THOUGHTS MY HSY BRAINROT IS SO BAD I LOVE HER SO MUCH

TY FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RANT ABOUT ORV OMG

if any pjsk followers of mine reading this dont know orv its a series called omniscient reader's viewpoint!

i highly recommend reading the webtoon first for visualization but definitely read the novel starting from the chapter 180s (theres . like 551 chapters it took me months to finish but it took my older sibling like 3 weeks so it depends how insane u are /lh)

def recommend it if youre a huge fan of found family dynamics mweheheh and also mythology . its like a heart wrenching story disguised as a BL

gonna get into spoilers from the novel so heres ur warning !

anyway u said all my thoughts. so here we go

hsy oughhhh i love her sm shes more than just 'girlboss' i think shes more girlfailure cuz how do u manage to plagiarize ur own work smh /j

YOOHANKIM DYNAMIC MAKE ME ILL like the author cant exist without a reader . but the story also cant exist without an author . but you cant read anything if theres no author to create that story yk like THEYRE ALL TIED TOGETHER ITS AGHHH

during the previous ask i mentioned how orv handles platonic love and im still super happy how its portrayed esp kdj and ysa ... ik alot of ppl ship them romantically and/or often make them exes or such

but ive read rly good kdj x ysa platonic soulmate fics and OUGHH MY GOSHHH it made me go crazy cuz they care about e/o sooooso much

like how that one scene where kdj randomly traumadumps on her and as a defense mechanism he goes haha . just kidding XD ! but then ysa just . quietly holds his hand and shuts him up

bc ysa will never understand what hes gone thru but she can and will listen/support him when he needs it yk theres no words that need to be said shes holding his hand as kind of an anchor like 'hey ik u said u were joking but ik ur not and thats ok'

jung heewon too oughhhh when she goes "this is no salvation" I WENT BONKERSSS kdj stop hurting your companions!! u want them happy but u deserve it too!!!!!! shaking his shoulders YOURE KINDER THAN YOU THINK THE STORY YOUVE LOVED FOR YEARS AND KEPT YOU ALIVE LOVES U BACK KDJ AUGHH

i love the fact that 98% of the novel is in first pov of kdj and the fact that hes an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator . like i usually dont like first pov but orv does it well

esp when all of a sudden during the epilogue it started being third pov when kdj split into the 49% and 51% IT GAVE A RLY GOOD SENSE OF "wtf is happening . something is wrong" it rlly gives us readers the same feeling the characters have like uhmmm kdj ur ok now rigjt. right! i remember feeling so confused and uncomfortable at the sudden third pov ITS SO CLEVER

can i just also say i absolutely hate the live action . orv is meant to be consumed as a novel LIKE OF *ALL* POPULAR WEBTOONS TO ADAPT ITS THE ONE THAT WOULDNT WORK AS LIVE cashgrab ass scheme smh

i also hate and admire the fact that anyone who has finished orv is a kdj fragment . i hate how anyone who finished the entire novel kins kdj in some sort of way . like when i kin pjsk characters for example im just like haha i relate #relatable but when it comes to kdj . hes just so uncomfortably relatable for me like i need to put him under a hydraulic press

"you who reads this will survive" ITS SOOO CLEVERR its addressing kdj and YOU! the whole theme of the novel is just so . personal lowkey so when the live action got announced and some annoying ass mfs were making fun of orv fans for being upset i wanted to rip my hair out THE STORY IS FOR US kdj himself would be rolling in his grave at the disrespect for a webnovel fr

[mothman9283]

Ok i try to keep private but. guys.... i think i have a fever kink... and if this ever gets traced to myself irl i might have to change my identity. heres a rant about my experiences and preferences just to get it out of my system so i can be productive again and stop thinking about it 😇

anyways! i think ive always been intrigued to fevers my whole life. I remember when i was younger, young enough to not know my age, I was playing doctor with my friend and I was taking my stuffies temperature. i remember just continuously adding on pens and sticks and anything i could find to make the thermometer longer because "the temp is too high! the thermometer is gonna burst!"

i also hated showing or telling ppl i was sick ever since i was young, like id always hide it if i was unwell, and i wouldnt tell my parents or friends and would desperately try to make it seem like i was fine

irl i have no interests in sick people or being sick. if one of my friends has a cold or is coughing i always try to keep my distance so i dont get sick either. lowkey sometimes if they r a bit too snotty or whiny i even get annoyed.. 😓😓 I only ever feel this way about characters through a screen, or through little daydreams and fantasies.

anyways, i lowkey dont know if its a sexual tjing or not (ofc not when i was younger), but its just always something that made my stomach then and my heart pound.

i found out abt this community (<3) when i was in my teens. one day i got a yt video in my recommended of one of those "animate my story" videos. the title was smthing along the lines of "im addicted to seeing other people in pain" and i was like "damn. ok lets see whats up!" and clicked it. in the video the guy describes fantasizing about his favourite characters being hurt and being taken care of, and how its never about real people and whatnot, and as little teenage me watched it, i realized "damn. fhis is fr me but with illnesses!" This was the first time ive ever found out there were others like me, so i immediately scrolled to the comments. unfortunately, literally everyone was liek "bro this dude is a freak..." and i was like "oh.. 😕😒" BUT THEN. this one commenter with a pink defualt yt profile pic said "hey :) ! this is actually called whump, and its more common than you think!" and i went WOAH. since then i searched up "sick fever" on google, found tumblr and fanfics and never looked back.

after seeing some of the #s on this site i definitely feel less alone now, but having a fever kink is still pretty uncommon right..? like i dont see anyone posting about it anywhere else except for the two sites a stated prior, and its not listed anywhere either (granted i havent looked very hard).

isnt it also just kinda weird- like even from an evolutionary standpoint... fever = infectious = bad = why would i wanna get closer and die..

regardless of reason, i just love a good sickness- fevers with flushed, hot skin, and chills and coughs. i also need a good temperature readings for the full experience, and i love all the descriptive diction about their health. im not a huge fan of descriptive puking or sinus related stuff, but im happy with it if it contributes to the fever plot-. ive also noticed over the years that its not simply just a cold- they need to be literally described/shown as flushed and sweaty. being "pale" or "green" AINT doing it for me 😡

anyways! yeah that was my rant :) wow thats long. in the unlikely event someone finds this lmk if u have an similar/different experiences, or if a younger me sees this hopefully they wont feel like such a weirdo and feel less alone

[ganondoodle]

every now and then i get comments on some of my older rants about totk and im pretty sure its usually the very first post without any of the additions i tend to add later on-

old post about how i found it a lil weird that the one of the first things rauru and sonia doing is put zelda back into a little white maiden dress even tho her own clothes didnt look damaged at all and were far more practical and someone commented that its so she doesnt stand out (something that was said in nearly every comment i got on that post already) and that it was only weird bc i was making it weird or sth xD

but it made me think about it again, so .... that excuse doesnt work for me at all bc .. why wouldnt she want to stand out? whats the danger of that? her suddendly appearing out of nowhere, not knowing anything of the traditions or happenings of the time, being around the king and queen all the time with a duplicate enigma stone and unknown technology (purah pad) isnt weird? i know the excuse of oohoho shes a distant relative of sonia (i know its far stretched techinically true i guess) but why even do that, why go to such lengths of keeping her time traveling secret? making her less of a target for gan isnt really sensical either bc he went for sonia anyway, despite zelda clearly being the younger and less experienced of the two with less control of her power, and if he knew she was techinically more powerful .. well then shes even less in danger, and if he might have wanted to get information from her what could he have gained from it really? she didnt really know anything more anyway? like all she could tell him would be like you will lose i guess lol

(also you could keep it secret from him but why from the others, i just dont see the point, i dont find her look pretty either, she just looks uncomfortable, like if she gets put in to a lil white uwu maiden dress AGAIN im just gonna assume ok you are stripped of all your agency and will sacricifce yourself again wahoo what fun)

in a world were time magic is normal why wouldnt you just say yep she literally came from the future to help us? the usual rules of time travel, as in, dont tell anyone who you are, dont mess with the happenings bc everything can have major consequences, doesnt apply anyway, she goes around by her real name and is involved in literally every major happening .. so why care?? keeping it secret from gan for the future? why? he literally recognizes her within a split second anyway

(no gonna get into why i think her time travelling in the first place is like .. so forced? its only segway to put her out of the game essentially and the oh no tragic twist, but like why, she got the powers and the stone so she unconcisouly travels ... back in time ..?? why not reverse the stones she fell from or something, if it was soemthing that would come up again ok! like she did the time travel accidentally and then learned how to return over the time she spent in the past thats good!! i like that idea, but its never broguht up again, the closest thing to it is the weird two time bubbles that just serve to give you her time powers (whats up with how that went down anyway) and then to send the mastersword back ... why even do that when it could have fallen and travelled back with her right away?? and both of those are at the very start of the game AND IT NEVER COMES UP AGAIN, like fine if it was her trying to go back but not getting it right so she creates weird ass time bubbles cool! why not put them all over the place with them getting bigger and maybe being able to talk to link from the past idk SOMETHING- ok ill stop here ...)

[fappellmoan]

so right a couple of my film friends and i met last night to do wine and glee and i left and tried to catch a bus in our gross rainy cold weather and so when it finally comes im just like zoo wee mama my glasses r fogging up and all that shit. but who of course is on the bus but my one friend the main perpetrator of acting like im some flaky cunt (rant city below)

so i guess technically this wouldnt look great on my part bc i was obviously Somewhere and had been ignoring the group chat making plans but oh my GOD whatever who careessssss who Cares. so im like fucking phenomenal ok walk back Omg hi and she moves her shit so i can sit and i get settled and am like hey. and she asks what i was up to and ofc when i say anything bc this is fucking awkward shes just got this stupid smug little smile but i was just sitting there like bitch im not gonna sit here and act embarrassed for seeing my other friends so i was just like So are u guys doing x tn and shes like mhm yep are you coming and i was like well gee i dont know. sarcastic shrug. make conversation about the timing of the place for a second kinda jokin then awk silence

and so then because im a chill normal adult and am aware that shes about to go meet the group of friends and no matter what this interaction is going to be brought up and i had been planning on composing a levelheaded text but i just said Look im sorry that i ghosted you guys (and shes again smug smiling nodding next to me. girl.) i just honestly got tired of feeling like im being singled out and judged when i cant make it to something and she literally is just like Well im sorry you feel that way just u know we do try to come up w different days etc (if u like me are bad at reading between the lines this was a non apology and defense based on uh Nothing) and i was like right well ik last semester wasnt great it's just that sometimes i feel like im being shunned in the group chats when no one answers or reacts to anything i say and the other day when you said like. yk the 'could u commit' thing that felt really sort of condescending

and shes like again well im sorry u felt that way i was just trying to find another day that u could actually make it cause i wanted us all to be there so im not really sure how that came across as condescending but um yeah. and i, jackass that i am (<3) pulled out my phone and pointed and said Well u see we didnt have actual plans and in fact no one answered when i said anything abt it and yk things come up and so for me to have sent this whole nice thing and just get 'do you think youd be able to commit' in response felt a little bit needlessly mean (and i also tried to earnestly say at some point in all this that i genuinely do love and care for them and want to see them but yk this Sucks and was just bad timing)

THEN we somehow spin into her going Well i just had no idea this was even a thing until you brought it up just now i mean i wasnt even thinking abt it ive never really thought that of you etc and so then im sitting here feeling like im being gaslit in real time not to be dramatic and i felt very much like when i was in high school and people manipulated me bc i was a very easy target (its not that real but w/e) and so im like Ok be calm but dont just like let that slide cause girl be serious (prob should have but what ever) so i was like well you know i do apologize if i just couldnt tell your intent over text, but after you guys never answered me about hanging out and then the short responses like maybe u can kind of see where i felt like you were being rude (didnt say it quite that bluntly w/e)

and she pulls out the big card. the. well i just think youre being defensive. oh years and years of being the youngest and punished for um having feelings lmfao slammed me in my chest at that moment. and i calmly said Okay cool i think youre being defensive. and i lit missed my bus stop cause this driver was swerving so then i was just like Well you guys have fun maybe ill see you tonight bye. so. really feeling awesome abt the state of that. in all reality tho it's like i hung out w some friends and then went out to the gay bar w others and danced and etc and i can only imagine how much of a Thing this was for them so. if someone could win it'd be me right

(on another note at some point during this ride sams roommate requested to follow me back <3 which i had been pretending not to think abt for the last couple hours) anyway

this has been a post let me know if im being normalish

[goremet-chef]

vent/rant

its so fucking ABSURD man. "whats with the attitude?" you want me to kill the mood even more? want me to say im depressed cuz my cat is dead and i didnt even realize that on the 21st, that would be the last time id ever see her again? is that what you fucking want?

its so NON EXISTANT to EVERYONE, it means fucking nothing to them!!! how could you care so little, just because we didnt live with her? she was the last remnant of my home. a home free of yelling and violence and blood, home where my friends live, home where i was safe and now shes gone, she was the last one. i thought i had longer with her, at least with riley i got to say goodbye properly

the same thing happened with domino, when i was younger. i felt so betrayed that they didnt even let me say bye to him, i feel a similar anger now.. but i live 2 hours away, there was no convenient way for them to let me do that. i think just..

the SUDDENNESS of the decision is what breaks my heart. she didnt know she wasnt gonna wake up ever again, she probably had no idea what was happening and its. its not like i wanted to see her die, the same way we watched riley get worse until we realized there was no saving him and he wasnt gonna get better, but.. was there really nothing we couldve done? nothing at all? was euthanasia the ONLY course of action? maybe we could have saved her, but its too late now. it doesnt matter anymore

im still kind of in denial, honestly.. it doesnt feel real. some part of me thinks it was a sick joke from my sibling. i know its not, i know its real, but with how everyones acting like it didnt happen at all, you couldnt blame me for feeling that way. part of me really hopes it was a joke but. i know if i ask ill just get confirmation that it wasnt

i wish i was there at least. that way i wouldnt be stuck in this limbo of thinking its not real. i know when riley was put down, id still go to my grandmas room and go to the living room at night somewhat hoping that he'd be there when i looked, but of course he never was. one time i was zoned out and i subconsciously reached over to pet him and feeling time stop when i froze and saw i was reaching for nothing, it hurt so fucking bad, it still hurts so fucking bad man. looking up and seeing the little box he was inside, it fucking sucks i hate this so much

i wish i was there, because at least my grandma gets it. those were her cats, have been for years. she always played it off like they werent because technically artemis and riley were OUR cats, but my mom lost her home and my grandma took us in when i was like.. 8 or 9. and she decided to go back and get them for us. im so grateful she did, because they wouldnt have lived as long as they had out there.

she gets it, because she loved them too. my mom didnt love them. my brother didnt love them. my older sister literally just completely abandoned and probably forgot about riley, who was HER cat. i remember he used to attack my feet from under the bed, when i was a little kid. the only one who came close to loving them like how we do was my oldest sibling, and even still he doesnt seem sad about it at all. like i know hes sad cuz he loved her but he rarely ever saw her, it was more like a passing claim of "oh, thats my cat", yknow?

my grandma gets it. i know she knows its really hard for me. it was so hard when domino was gone. when riley was sick, she tried to be lighthearted about it and even when i saw him for the last time, and we were both crying, she told me to say bye to him in kind of a goofy voice. i know she doesnt want to see me hurting like that, and it was kind of dreadful at the time, but im really glad she let me say goodbye to him, because it was a goodbye i meant. it wasnt "goodbye, see you later", it was the real one and i didnt get to give that to arty. i just said bye like normal, because i thought shed be okay! i thought whatever was wrong with her, we could fix. i cant believe it was so cut and dry

and i cant stand it here, they dont have and kind of sympathy, i think my mom doesnt even KNOW that i know. which means she just didnt plan on telling me at all. even my sibling was confused as to why she wouldnt have. its like they cant fathom why id be sad for more than a day or two, but i loved her! i fucking loved her, i loved all of them

i dont believe in the afterlife, but part of me wants to believe that they can at least know how much i miss them, how much i love them. its the only sort of comfort i have, even if i dont really believe it. i hope they can hear me cry and they know that its because i love them so fucking much and i want to see them again

it doesnt help that, exactly like when riley was put to sleep, im having dreams about her. dreams where shes dead, but im hallucinating her and i can see her again and im petting her and its so real.. shes there in my head and everyone around me tells me "its not real" but i dont even care! i dont care if its not real, because seeing her is enough. arty, i love you so much girl, im so fucking sorry we couldnt do anything. im sorry to riley too, and domino, and talcum. im sorry marceline, im sorry ellie. i know its not my fault, there was really just nothing we could do, but man i wish that wasnt true

they lived their whole lives with us, which is why its so crazy to me that most of my family doesnt really care. no one is gonna remember them, so ill drown myself in the grief just to honor their memory, because they deserve to be cried over. they deserve to be missed, to have someone who loves them after everything. their loss should be mourned, how could i think back on their whole lives and do anything but? i know people say "oh, remember the good times! they wouldnt want you to be sad" but the good times are gone. crying affirms the fact that i loved them and ill keep loving them until im dead too, because they deserve that

[oscheadcanons]

i cried tears of joy when i saw this account finally another outlet for people to listen to me

hmmmmmmm. i actually have twenty seven thousand six hundred thirty headcanons for my favoritest girl (PIN) but ill start with something more basic

also i might have already said this somewhere else idk

pin is actually a very hot headed-person, BUT she really hates getting angry AT HER FRIENDS ESPECIALLY, so when she has a problem she tries her best to explain it without making her friends see the fact that she is in fact very very angry LIKE PIN'S TPOT 2 RANT (which i ADORE) due the the fact that she was UPSET AND ANGRY coiny was somehow unable to understand what she was actually concerned about ^o^

SO I LIKE TO THINK OF TIMES LIKE IN TPOT 2 OR BFB 1 OR OR OR *SO MANY CASES* WHEN SHE SEES HER FRIENDS DOING SOMETHING THAT- okay get this, although on the surface it mostly seems that she doesn't like her friends doing the wrong thing because its objectively the not right thing to do and isnt virtuous/righteous (which is right by the way), if you want to really connect it to bfb 6 then YOU COULD SAY THAT SHE WANTS HER FRIENDS DOING SOMETHING *THAT BENEFITS THEM AND HELPS THEM SUCCEED. because as a leader AND someone who wants to improve as a person since season one, SHE HATES SEEING HER FRIENDS FEELING DOWN OR IN STRIFE, AND TO HER IT MAKES SENSE THAT HER FRIENDS WOULDNT BE DOING WELL BECAUSE THEYRE NOT DOING THE RIGHT THING. so she cares a lot of whether they're doing the right thing or not because she cares for her friends and teammates and she wants them to be successful and prosperous and happy ^^

for more pin headcanons that make every little thing about her make perfect sense or if you are confused on why she does a certain thing in any part of the series then please come to my big brain store i have a full supply of explanations for her story its really important to me you should really stop by i love seeing pin make mistakes and be hated by everyone for reasons that only her and i know and recognize (since we are the same person /gen)

.

[cherrrydragon]

hiya pooks, i wanted to get to know you more so i have a couple fun questions for you that include my personal answers! (i’m an oversharer)

1) fav media of spider-man?

i looooooove ultimate spider-man. i think it’s so over hated because the kids who watched spectacular grew up and were upset the next spider-man show was a kids show and not an adult show made for them. the fact that there just so much room for cameos from all other marvel media really helped me build a love for marvel as a whole. i wouldn’t know half as much marvel lore or characters without it since i never read the comics. (too poor to continuously buy growing up + can’t read comic panels over screen cause bleh. i think it was our first time meeting miles on screen too, which was awesome!)

it showed me who spider-man was at his core, a good person. and that’s what stood out to me. it also showed me that spider-man was super funny and always had a ‘quip’ lol. bonus points for ps4 spidey for being the first game i played of him and into the spider-verse for literally changing animation for the whole world. straight up best movie ever made.

2) fav media of dc?

gotta be the 2022 batman for me. i was so happy they finally got him right on the big screen! it took so long for people to realize that batman is only fear to his enemies, but hope to the people. they also count have picked a better catwoman! and the fact that the riddler is just some guy? mwah, perfection, amazing, incredible!

side rant; everytime i see someone mention how they thiugtt he robert patterson didn’t play a good bruce i wanna scream. how are we lacking so much media literacy nowadays that we can no longer recognize this is before he gets his whole playboy persona. he doenst even have financial stability! he’s literally just learning who he is. there’s deadass a whole scene dedicated to him trying to go into the club as batman and getting turned away vs being welcomed in as bruce and realizing bruce wayne has actual value to fighting crime.

3) fav non live action character?

sam anderson’s nova is so fun! he’s such a sweetiepie. i know earlier i said i don’t read the comics, but i do listen to them. i really wish they would put him in as teen trying his best with the guardians of the galaxy <3

klarion the witch boy is so silly (especially in young justice. his va is perfect for him.) he literally just terrorizes people for funsies. gotta love the lord of chaos and his cat.

hi hi! i just wanna preface this by saying a lot of media im a fan of i havent actually watch/read/played just because i cant truly sit down and consume content like i used to when i was younger. literally yesterday i watched the second deadpool movie after like, maybe 2 years since watching the first one (and i probably wouldnt have watched it if the new dp and wolverine movie didnt come out LOL) so i can't really answer these as efficiently as id like but ill try my best

fav media of spider-man?

before it would've been mcu spiderman simply because i havent watched the raimi or amazing spiderman ones, but now without a doubt i can say the spiderverse movies are my fav ones! all movies are pieces of art, but the spiderverse movies are truly by and for art kids. the animation and art is beautiful and i think the way it so artistically connects all things spider-man is really cool.

2. fav media of dc?

so... the last time i watched any dc media was when i was way younger LOL. i distinctly remember watching dc super hero girls, justice league unlimited, the flash (tv) and i think arrow (tv)? but like i said, i was young and don't remember much. ive seen from numerous people that the dc timeline is kind of a mess and that + the fact that there's so much content is what's keeping me from consuming it now. on the topic of batman 2022 there's literally nothing stopping me from watching it but i havent LOL i just cant sit down and watch it. i think the brainrot got to me rip.

i think what stops me from consuming content is the fact that i become a fan of it without actually participating. i read so much fanfic that i learn the plot of things through there, and because i already know what happens i dont desire to spend time and take it in. i might be cooked ngl. but anyway, no official favorite dc media from me

3. fav non live action character?

dude theres like way to many to name but one that comes to mind immediately is black cat (i dont think she's been in any live action from marvel yet?) something about those cat burglars man... LOL. i know this doesn't really count but i really like her portrayal in "Dark Matter" by mysterycyclone on ao3 (and amazing peter parker in gotham fic, highly recommend) i truly love the idea of the thief becoming friends with their crimestopper, because like catwoman, they aren't really hurting anybody (at least, from what ive seen)

as for dc... like i said i have not consumed enough media to pick LOL my bad 💔

[trickinabucket]

Feelings dump (but in a self reflective, positive way; there is mention of suicide tho)

I wanna put this here jic its something i wanna talk to my therapist abt.

This morning I just couldnt stop crying bc i just can't stop thinking of myself as a burden.

That if I had some grave illness I'd immediately ask to be put out of my misery. Whether the misery would come from the illness itself or something else wouldn't matter.

[sad rant]

And that led me down a path of guilt and anger. And wondering if I would even bother telling anyone about the decision. Something about it either being manipulation (for people I loved), or useless and painful for everyone (for my family, that I've completely given up on.)

And how I dont know what to tell my mother that wouldnt make me feel like I'm gonna make her think I'm guilt tripping her. But really wanting to tell her that I meant it when I said I was sorry about how I messed up college and everything I ever did to piss her off, and she still kept driving like she didnt care if she killed us both and I just felt rejected again. And that I stopped telling her things because I knew she would think I was too young to be depressed. And that I felt scared all the time and I didn't know why. I didn't want her to think I was being annoying if I asked for something twice, including the times I was actively asking for comfort or taking her for her word when she told me to wait my turn. That I wouldn't be forgotten. And that even the times I cried in front of her and felt like a child when she told me to stop trying to get attention, I cried more times when she was out of earshot, and considered many times hiding in the closet when I did it so that I wouldn't get caught. And I didn't mean this in any way to tell her she failed, but instead, tell her why I acted the way I did, and even if she really wanted another chance (and that truly would have been the last time she made that mistake), I just couldnt keep giving her chances anymore, because my heart just couldn't take the rejection anymore. It hurt so fucking much and I just wanted to forget.

[/sad rant]

And all of that, and I stopped crying. I stopped thinking about that, and really thought about me crying in a different scope. From one thing I said. That I tried not to cry around her and make her angry, and to just suck it up that I was hurting and had no word for it. That I was just severely backed up. And for years, I would cry and be angry at myself for doing it, because it was over, and far away, and it couldn't hurt me anymore. And I felt like I'd been crying for years and just sick of it.

I would hide when I cried. I would try not to cry, when I was a kid and had the fear and uncertainty. Now it just feels like I cry all the time, and of course it would when I used to stop myself from doing it. I feel small and helpless as a child when I cry, because that kid who existed back then gets to cry now. And just telling her to suck it up was just doing the same thing my mother was doing to me. No one should be ashamed to cry in front of their mother, or to show they're in distress and worry about whether it's the time or place to "get" to feel distressed.

We get to cry, because the threat is gone, and that's what we were programmed to do. I shouldn't feel annoyed at her and uneasy because of her, because no one's coming to make her shut up Or Else They'll Hear Me. I have a mouth and I can scream. So can she.

Even with Ed around, I'm free to, and sometimes I can even ask them to hold me if it's too much.

The headaches are a pain, but I need to drink more water anyway.

[leminhthinking]

i dont know what else to say. rant. youve been warned

crawling up onto this blog to do this whole essay rant thing again because i miss you dearly, i still miss you even when i said it again and again pretending that you can still read my posts and comments and pretending that i was talking directly to you. its pathetic, yet somehow its not enough. i need closure, for myself only, as i want to escape that feeling, because i dont deserve to feel it. i dont think i deserve to miss you or even love you in anyway. either in time or too late

going here to rant just because i know even when you were still alive you wouldnt be able to read this. i dont recall you had a tumblr, and i dont think i would let you read a longass english post because i know youll be more comfortable with vietnamese. im just saying things pretending im talking to you while also pretend that im not actually talking to you. so like. i am here to talk to myself. about you

i dissociate a lot yknow. i stop myself from feeling to catch up with work. i think a part of it helps with my mindset that i respect your death and the only one who is supposed to have any say in it is you. i refrained myself from feeling any actual emotion of grief because i feel like if thats not what you want, i shouldnt feel it at all. but i still miss you, i still get sad, i still cry whenever i talk it out. its tiring. but i really cant hold it all in

i need sleep, its alr 4:29 am

i love you. im saying that to myself, as an unchangable truth. if you are listening i wouldnt say that to you. if you were still here of course i wouldnt say that to you. its just that at least i found a word enough to call whatever i feel about you, or that... im not very sane with all this feeling and trying not to feel things going on.

i think ill sleep for now

[sunnybubblezzz]

im just gonna rant bc no one’s gonna see this anyway

ughhh idk its such a weird feeling to know that im drifting apart with one of my closest friends. its so dumb because we’ve only known each other for like a year or two but mann i put so much effort into them.

its the gifts that i spent so much on getting for you, the not hanging out with my other friends to talk to you instead, the late nights we spent texting, the pinterest board i made about you that i deleted now, the music you got me to listen to, the shows i watched for you, the books i read for you, and ugh i just dont know.

and it sucks because its probably all in my head. im probably just overthinking but like still. it kinda hurts because we used to talk everyday and i realize i barely know anything about her.

i would tell them everything i did, and i mean like everything.. and yet, when they’re in another country they dont even tell me?? i just wish i could ask.. why?

they put so much effort into hanging out with all their other friends besides me. i lowkey just felt like such a a side tool if that makes sense.

maybe i should have put more effort into making plans for us? was it my fault?

and its like to see a movie.. they would rather invite their other friends besides me. like i wouldnt care, but she said she would watch it with me. i told you you should invite them…. and you invite them yet dont invite me.

and i dont care about that movie. I COULD CARE LESS about it. but it’s the fact that you didnt even think to ask. you didnt want me to go and i realized that but man didnt you think that would hurt just a little? or did you just think i wouldn’t know.

i lowkey wonder why you never post me on your stories. why dont you ever take pictures of me-with me... is it because i’m not pretty enough? because you’re ashamed to hang out with me? its funny, i’ve never heard you call me pretty. i dont know why your opinion mattered so much to me.

we used to talk daily.

now we haven’t talked in what feels like so long.

you used to know so much about me, i used to know sooo much about you. now i dont even know how you spent your christmas, how you spent your new years. honestly, i dont even know if ill get a birthday wish from you.

my birthday’s in three days.. happy birthday to me ig..

but you know what, i still love you

i will always always love you.

and even if i know that i love you more then you will ever love me. im still so happy for all those moments we spent together. because i LOVED YOU. and ive never ever loved anyone else who isn’t in my family, like i loved you.

but i was just a stop on the way to your soulmate.

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

youved been warned vent under the cut

you make me so mad and yes i get it you have crippling anxiety and cant get out of the house and you might have something else and you also have dpression and whatever shit and youre on meds AND IM SO JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU KNOW AHTS WRONG WITH YOU

and yes its hard and yes i undertsand and yes your mum is the nicest person but strict when it comes to you and yes i udnerstand when you say everyone hates you and yes i undertsand you and wehre youre coming from and yes i get it i get it i get it but GOD why

like please stop makong everything about you like girliepop. miss gurl why like (ok wtfim like rockijg back n forth thats how insane i am) anyhows oh ma daayyyyssss brruoooohhhh i get you have a bad life but like hvnet you thought about other people????????? oh right right right yep i make everthing about me so you play the vistim and say ohhh whenevr i try talk about my feelings its disreagerdede and thy make it about them like girliepop ur not even tryin to be subtle rn

ok fist of all. FIRSTLY youre being a hypocrite. a little bit (a lot). not to call u out but im calling u out. GIRL- also why u gotta call me gay everytime i see a woman on my screen GOD anyways that was random

ANYWHOS BESTIES this betch like girl omg ok look i might be making shit about me but mAYBE if you comMUNICATED THAT i would KNOW and not DO IT anyMOOROEEEE instead of just siTTING THAERE and pLATING THE VICTIM cos GIRL

yeah you have a thing tomorrow and youre failing school cos you acnt get out of the house and your relationship is failing and i dont talk to you anymore and youre hurt and crying and aw i feelbad i swear but havent you realised i dont talk to you anymore and have that connection ecause youre talking to me about your feelings and im not talking you to you about my feelings because whenever i do all you say is "im sorry can i do anything" an im like nope cos its not like you could solve it n we move on BUT when we talk about your feelings oh sob sesh feel so empathic awh pity pity can i do anyhting to help yes motivational words but girliepop at least im trying to help and not mutter a half assed snetence. i notce when youre down or sad but its about you and what you want and maybe if you asked about me or noticed when im feelin down and payed attention to me because i thOUGHT IT WAS EQUAL LIKE AS IN 2 HALVES LIKE 50-50 HELLO MATHS UR SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT MATH

yeah maybe if you werent sulking we wouldnt be here. like girl GIRL. please stop being a crybaby and upping everything because you make me feel bad whenever you do something n ur like oH iLL gO BECAUSE ARGH IT MAKES ME SO MAD I WANT TO SAY "oh do it then i double dare you" COS MISS GURL AKJFGHSFH STOP. LIKE I HAVE TO PHYSICALLY STOP MYSELF FROM LAUGHING???? AND SAYING THE MEANEST SHIT COS YOULL PRETEND TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AND I SWEAR YOU ONLY STARTED BECAUSE I DID BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN YOU WITH SHIT BEFORE AND YEAH I RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES BUT WE ARE LITERALLY SO CLOSE I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR HOUSE MET YOUR FAMILY BEEN THERE FOR EVERY SINGLE MOMENT MAYBE IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU WERE COMFORTABLE but its fine cos im not an asshole (even if you say i am) and i respect your boundaries :)

so yes ill just shut up and rant on tumblr so i dont explode at you which will cause you to pretend to have an existential criss OMG U KNOW WHAT MAKES ME SO MAD

YOU LYING. I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT MAKE THE EDIT AND JUST SAID IT LOOKS COOL BUT BESTIE ITS NOT COOL TAKING OTHER PEOPELS EDITS AND POSTING THEM AS UR OWN. I CAN LITERALLY SEE THE WATERMRK DO U THINK IM DUMB. ALSO THAT ONE TIME WITH THEC HEESE PIE LIKE I KNOW WHAT A STORE BOUGHT PIE LOOKS LIKE AND I KNOW WHAT A HOMEMADE PIE LOOKS LIKE IM LITERALLY SO MUCH BETTER AT COOKING THAN YOU ITS INSULTING HOW YOU THINK IM THIS STUPID

ok im sorry i hope you never read this i swear im just insane im sorry if that didnt make sense and i understand if you, reader, skipped through it because i would too :) (also why tf is there so much sass in this post what)

i am so unhinged rn like the only thing running through my head rn are feelings and not actual thoughts and maybe i should do something about that but im just manically laughing bevause HA

ok no i just had an argument and had to stop myself from saying the meanest shit and i feel like a bad person now but im also mad so like like girl not everything is about you plase stfu kindly :))))))))))))))ADDSGSHKH ahem

hang on this is js unhinged i need to make a vent post istg wtf anyways guys love u alllll

[lily-blue-blue-lily]

im so fucking sick of the pedestal yall have put john mulaney on