#but i promise im still here!!

[bellaxgiornata]

So my writing and posting of fics has definitely slowed recently and I will finally share with y'all why: I'm pregnant! I am almost ten weeks today!

I've been suffering through some nausea and brain fog but mostly I've just been so damn tired that I have no energy to do anything. Thankfully now that I'm nearing the second trimester I seem to be getting more energy, but for now I'll probably be updating one fic or so a week unless I get a random burst of writing energy.

Right now I really do need to take the time to focus on taking care of myself so I'm not putting any pressure on myself to write. I lost a pregnancy earlier this year and had a scare a couple of nights ago, so writing is not my main priority. But I am still here! I'll still be writing and posting, just not with that same level of speed for now. I'll try to update Seeking Forgiveness this week, too. That one has been fun to work on lately since finding out I'm pregnant, I'll admit.

So that's what has been going on with me. Unfortunately pregnancy has once again made me want to vomit at the thought of coffee so I don't even have that helping to keep me awake. But I appreciate y'all being understanding and respectful of this change in my updating! ❤️ Even the boys are letting me rest 🤣

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[exoscreamsoda]

who set up the internet in that decrepit little hovel so that lestat can be an ipad kid 😭

[soldrawss]

Huntlow doodle dump including 3 different aus so yeah enjoy

[futuristichedge]

If you are a fan of anybody's work, whether it be art, writing, music, translating, editing, videos, etc- it is incredibly important that you share that you enjoy their work.

It could be a comment, a tag, an anonymous ask saying thank you or something about their most recent piece you enjoy, anything. Creation is more often than not a social thing, and a little note or comment really goes a long way. People are sharing a little piece of themself every day, here on the internet!

So if you don't mind a little challenge, on the next piece of art* you see that you find personally impactful, leave a little tag or comment saying something about how much it means to you.

*this includes writing, music, edits, jokes, anything that has undergone the act of being created by a person

[psychotic-nonsense]

"I'm sorry."

It's the first thing Steve says after everything.

After getting Vecna Cursed. After nearly dying. After a hallucination of Eddie saved him. After running through a looped forest. After finding sanctuary in Steve's memory of that Starcourt bathroom. After Eddie reveals himself as Eddie.

It's the only thing he can think of. It's not big enough to fit everything, but it's the only thing that fits in his mouth.

"Don't be."

Maybe that's the only thing Eddie can think of too. The only thing Eddie can bear to say.

Because don't be can't stop Steve's eyes from watering when he sees the vest in his closet. Don't be can't stop Steve's feet from dragging him to the cemetery every evening to clean Eddie's graffiti-covered tombstone. Don't be can't stop Steve from sitting beside Wayne and listening to him talk about the Eddie he remembers. Don't be can't stop Eddie's body from showing up in Steve's dreams, nor Eddie's corpse from his nightmares. Don't be couldn't keep the pain away enough, didn't stop Vecna from latching onto it while Steve was walking alone in the woods.

Don't be isn't enough for what Steve wants to hear. But even stuck here waiting, hoping, for someone to get Steve out, there just isn't enough time.

"I miss you."

"...Why?"

Eddie says it back so quickly, so quietly, like it's just unfathomable to him. Maybe it is, considering their last memories. But their eyes meet and he looks just as sad, just as longing, as Steve.

"You were my friend."

Steve can't help but say it like that. Like they were friends for years instead of days. Like Eddie was that important to him in their final moments. Like his heart really aches for Eddie every second of the apocalypse.

Can't help but say it like he means it.

"I wish we could've had more time..."

Steve's voice cracks a little there as he turns away, hiding. It's all he wants. It's all Vecna used to entice him with. It's all that's keeping him going, to finally fulfill the last request Eddie made. It's all he has left to feel close to Eddie.

The Eddie that's sitting right next to him, silent, his sight weighing on Steve's skin. Conscious and aware and the real Eddie. Trapped in Vecna's head as a backup power source, yet who still risked everything to come save Steve. Who Steve will never see again because killing Vecna means killing Eddie for good, and his heart doesn't want it, is begging for another solution...

But for once, his broken head overpowers his shattered heart.

"Maybe we did."

Eddie takes Steve's hand. Meets Steve's surprised look with his own small smile of hope. They're both suddenly tearing up, eyes glistening with life in this gray stall.

"Maybe in another world, we got a second first chance. A first second chance. Maybe even a third, or fourth. Maybe in a different life, we had everything we wanted. Because you, Steve Harrington, are too good for me to be doomed to meet just once."

And for a moment, Steve sees it. Feels it. Versions of them connected through the universe.

Little kids playing in the lake. One with bruised skin and shaved hair, loud but unfathomably lonely. One with a bruised heart and soft eyes, timid but stubbornly hopeful.

A rockstar with glittering chains, center stage in the spotlight. A set of eyes in the crowd or behind the curtain, watching only him.

A werewolf and a vampire, two cryptids of horror, meeting in the dead of a full moon night to feel safe with the only other one who understands.

A future where they won, where the only death was the one that mattered. A process of healing and learning, coming home to a family every single day.

A world without pain, without their hell, where two high schoolers found freedom from their shackles and company in each other. Hiding away together in the dark corners of the town.

Steve even sees other versions of them. Versions that he knows were originally never supposed to meet, yet forces so much greater than them pulled them together.

A metalhead drug dealer, constantly getting into trouble with one nail-bat-weilding cop.

A criminal's fugitive nature leading him to a rugged trailer park, and the dangerous owner within one such home.

An eccentric king in an old coliseum, always choosing one particular warrior as his champion.

A young programmer being pulled away from his work by sobs above his apartment, running upstairs to check on the law student that recently moved in.

Two actors, finding an easy friendship in the months of filming one season of a show that would change their lives.

In that moment, Steve's overwhelmed by the closeness he suddenly feels with the soul beside him. Falling into tears, he pulls Eddie into a tight hug, holding him so so close to convey everything he can't say. Feeling Eddie hold him back, hearing everything Eddie can't say in return.

Familiar music comes on outside the stall. Robin's voice calls out to him, telling him to come home.

And when he does leave, Steve hopes that someone out there will understand that he never can. Because here in Eddie's arms is the only place that will ever truly feel like home.

"Thank you... for everything, Eddie."

Thank you, Steve. For everything and more..."

--------------------

- List of AUs, in order, after, "Versions of them connected through the universe": Childhood Friends / Rockstar!Eddie / Werewolf!Steve & Vampire!Eddie / Eddie Survives / No Upside Down & High School

- List of Multiverse Steddie AUs, in order, after, "...yet forces so much greater than them pulled them together": Eddie x Gator / Baron x Michael / Geta x Sean / Keys x Eric / Quinn and Keery

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

[chateautae]

hi <3

my lovelies are you still here? i'm thinking of dropping something 🥺

[soullessjack]

yea miraculous sucks but honestly they kinda popped off with a magical cat boy whose special magical weapon against evil is a lead pipe and the special magical power of stage 4 necrosis

[girlkisserr]

[chidoroki]

January 15th - Happy Birthday Ray - ft: his tvtropes

[distant-velleity]

“Now… Shall we share a dance?”

[SR] Sinner's Garb Yuhua is here!!! For @beneathsakurashade's fan event~

I. I lowkey think I MASSIVELY misinterpreted the event's rules but--- But------ If I was wrong just pretend it's an alternate universe where he got this role 🔥🔥🔥🔥 (School has fried my brain I am so sorry) I also just came up with the name for the card on my own so I'm also sorry about that OTL I'm really taking too many creative liberties

Anyway um you can tell I've fixated on Evillious Chronicles before so. Yeah!!! UI-less card and voicelines are continued under the cut as per usual <3

~

Summon: A tale of seven sinners and their punishments… Sounds interesting. 

Groovification: — LOCKED — 

Set to Home Screen: The stage is set, and the actors are in place~

Home Transition 1: “I haven’t yet told you that I love you…” ♪ Isn’t that tragic? All these sinners met pretty ironic endings.

Home Transition 2: I heard that there’s going to be a party after the musical. I might not go, though; parties aren’t always my… thing. …but they did promise refreshments…

Home Transition 3: The best actors are the ones who understand their characters. Like, hating your past self so much that you’d erase any trace of it… I get that feeling a little.

Home, after login: “Seven flowers dance and sin is now released / I cover the ugliness of my true self as I continue to drown in lust…” ♪

Home Transition (Groovification): — LOCKED —

Tap Home 1: Isn’t this role better for taller people? I lose any enchanting aura I could have had when you realize I’m short… Well, at least these boots have heels. 

Tap Home 2: Any performer worth their salt should be able to prevent personal feelings from interfering too much with their performance… in theory. *sigh*…

Tap Home 3: According to the duke’s story, the vessel of lust is a sword. I actually dabbled in swordplay for a year, so I’m not totally out of my element. 

Tap Home 4: If I had to assign myself a deadly sin, I don’t think it would be lust. But I guess that’s what makes this musical so fun—exploring the narratives of people who did give in and sell their souls. 

Tap Home 5: Aren’t you afraid of what might happen if you look into “my” eyes for too long? Haha~  

Tap Home (Groovification): — LOCKED —

~

taglist (ask to be added or removed): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia

@skriblee-ksk @boopshoops @scint1llat3 @nyx-of-night @nemisisnemi

@the-banana-0verlord @kathxrat-01 @lumdays @twistedwonderlandshenanigans

[justghostthings]

Self-inspiring trans joy

[He/Him/Xe/Xem] 18+

[squid-seraph]

some hcs and whatnot for the creechures,,, I might change it later to add stuff but im pretty content with this

[blusandbirds]

eli moskowitz - "am i making you feel sick?"

[clematsea]

  # 𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐍   𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐀:         kübra    ,    gif  pack  .

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