#but i obviously don't do it with my normal reads now which arguably are more enjoyable but I can't remember how they even ended

[miwiheroes]

Hii, not really a question but I'm rewatching s2 and I noticed a parallel between the "we like steve... but we don't love steve" and Nancy stammering quite a bit to say "I- I do" and Mike having a similar response during his fight with El. I don't really know if you or someone else had already noticed that but felt the need to say it

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Day 32: Murray's Conversation w/ Jancy . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

@j-gvellthings hope u don't mind I hijacked ur ask to use for my post thing i just think this is uber interesting <3

Honestly, that whole conversation with Murray and those scenes could absolutely apply to Byler and Jancy at the same time. In some moments, I feel like what he says could actually apply to Mike more than Nancy.

Jancy say they're "just friends" here ^^ and obviously,,, if you've watched literally any romcom or show with romance in, you'd know that if someone is a little two defensive about the two of them being friends, then the audience is supposed to imply that they could be something more than that -- which happens with Byler in S4, when Mike unnecessarily calls them friends. It's not in the same context obviously, but Mike takes it romantically.

Murray also says that Jonathan and Nancy have 'shared trauma' which is apparently the 'real shit' (meaning the apex of the conversation and the most important thing). Now, this obviously applies to Jancy because they went through a lot and that's what creates this meaningful bond between the two of them. Steve does not understand what Nancy's been through -- Jonathan does. And vice versa i guess.

Byler also have this exact dynamic. Mike was with Will during S2 when all that shit happened - and the subsequent dynamic has shifted so Mike seems like the only one that really understands what Will goes through. They also both go through the same types of bullying, which is shown in S1.

Some examples of their 'shared trauma' dynamic are:

Will says that Mike shouldn't tell anyone else about his True Sight because 'they won't understand' - S2E02

Mike says that Will is quiet today and Lucas brushes it off, but Mike sees it as something deeper - S2E01

Will only tells Mike about D'art and Mike is the one to shout at the others and gets rid of his problem for him - S2E03

At the Snow Ball, Will looks at Mike when a girl asks him out, because he's so used to checking with him for things - S2E09

Mike asks Will if he's okay at the movie theatre because he's so in tune with Will's emotions surrounding scary stuff (they were about to watch a horror movie) - S3E01

I only really named ones in S2 because that's the season where Murray actually says that so I feel like it has more value when it's all in S2

"Trust issues am I right? Something to do with your dad."

Obviously, we all know that Will's had issues with his homophobic father - so has Jonathan, so it can apply to both of them. Most of Will's internalised homophobia can be traced back to bullying which includes his father.

It is shown right from the beginning of the whole show that Lonnie calls Will slurs, and attempts to make him like things that any 'normal' boy should want. Jonathan counteracts this by telling Will that he shouldn't just like things because people tell you to and telling Will that it's much better to be a 'freak' than normal.

This homophobic bullying could arguably lead to trust issues for Will - his internalised homophobia from his dad is what is keeping him from telling Mike the truth. He's afraid that Mike 'won't like the truth' because of the things he's experienced in the past.

Now, the one where Murray calls out Nancy is way more interesting:

"You. You're harder to read."

Nancy is of course, harder to read than Jonathan because she hides so much -- she's harder for the audience to figure out because she's in a relationship already. Even so, I think this applies to Mike even more than Nancy. We have Nancy's POV. We can often see what she's thinking and feelings, but with Mike, we haven't had his POV and private thoughts and inner conflicts since S2. For two whole seasons, there has been barely a moment of introspection for Mike. The audience has constantly questioned what the hell he's thinking and why he's acting this way.

It's simple -- he's supposed to be harder to read.

"Probably, like everyone, afraid of what would happen if you... accepted yourself for who you really are"

HELLO? I think when i rewatched this I was a little confused because the wording of this sentence does not really allude to Nancy's issues alone. She is, of course, afraid of accepting who she really is, but it's hard to see that as her main character arc. She's more afraid of leaving the safety of Steve, but this wording is just so oddly familiar to someone telling someone who's queer to accept themselves.

Literally Mike's arc - he's afraid of what would happen if he accepted himself. If he accepted himself - it would mean he realises he doesn't love El, which means he's failed her and has to break up with her. He might lose her if he accepts himself. Idk, the wording is just tooooo suspicious to just apply to Nancy here.

"retreated back to the safety of... Name?" "Steve"

This is kind of insane UM,,, so Nancy uses Steve as her safety blanket because he's a well-respected, popular person at school and has a lot of money, which is similar to her parents' situation. Being with Jonathan is the less secure option, but it aligns with her true feelings. Which means the audience should want her to be with the person she actually loves rather than someone she doesn't want to lose purely based on safety.

Mike literally does this returning to the safe option thing 3 times in the show...

Mike slowly realises that meeting Will was the best thing he ever did, not meeting El, not helping her etc. This happens over the course of S2, and Mike accepts that El is gone, placing her in the same category as Bob when talking to Max. When El comes back, he's torn between the two, and we can see this dilemma in the Snow Ball scene. Will is off with someone else - Mike is questioning why he's feeling like this and what he should do - so he sacrifices his true feelings for what he feels is the greater good and what he should just do, which is to stay with El.

At the end of S3, Mike realises something and is scared of what this could mean. He realises that he has been trying to change himself too much over the course of the summer and just wants things to go back to the way they were. In S4, he attempts to cover up his feelings and push them down because he's afraid of what would happen of he accepted himself, and pretends to be in a normal, healthy relationship.

During S4, Mike realises that his relationship with El is something that he's insecure about, and often confides in Will about this. He alerts to Will that he should have 'explained himself' to El, rather than telling her I love you, implying that he doesn't want to say that ever. He agrees with Will that the truth could hurt someone he cares about. He's worried that El doesn't need him anymore, and is happy when Will tells him that she'll need him no matter what - but he still has to be encouraged by Will's words to say I love you to her. This is for the greater good - what he thinks will keep her alive and what he thinks she needs.

So again, Mike and El's relationship is built on commitment and safety - being with Will is the least safe option because it would mean having to look inside himself, accepting himself, and possibly losing El, who he still cares about.

"We like Steve." "Yes!" "But we don't love Steve."

This one's pretty self-explanatory and was the original point of the ask above - Nancy has literally in this season told Steve the words 'I love you'. You can say those words even when you don't mean it, the writers aren't that stupid to be worried that the viewers will suddenly go "OH BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE TIME-"

But, obviously, before Nancy went off with Jonathan, the last thing she talked to him about was their argument about her not being able to say I love you to him - in that argument, when asked to tell him, she stumbles and goes "Really?" before they're interrupted. Then she can't say anything. She can't say it because it's not true.

Sound familiar? - while there are many more nuanced aspects to Mileven's scenes in S4, it is arguably similar to the Stancy's plot that Murray is talking about. Nancy 'likes' Steve, but her feelings aren't deeper than that. She cares about him, but that doesn't have to necessarily mean she loves him romantically. In the same sense, Mike blurts out "I care for you" instead of "I love you" during their argument.

Nancy stumbles over her words trying to deny it - which is the same with Mike when he gets confronted about it in S4, leading to him trying to gaslight and become defensive, using words like "ruin" and "ridiculous".

All I'm trying to say here is that the Duffers aren't strangers to writing a plot where a character is repressing their feelings and using a relationship as protection in order to hide who they really are. And the lines are written to be so non-specific that we can't ignore that they can easily apply to Byler as well as Jancy.

[sketchyorsomething]

A Shoulder To Cry On - Fic

(This is crossposted on Ao3, so click this link if you prefer to read it there! Over there you'll find a more detailed conclusion/explanation in the end notes, but it's not neccessary to understand this fic. The Tags are mainly friendship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort; if you want to stay on tumblr you can find the fic underneath the cut)

Author's Notes: It's a little crazy that I'm already able to post this, but it felt like the fic wrote itself. (And more are maybe coming, depending on how much I have to do in the next weeks; Though I can't really say they're all that much happier, somehow all of them end up a little angsty and I don't know what to do against that)

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I obviously don't know any of them personally and also - seeing that the topic is quite a difficult one - never went through the same kind of questioning and fearing, simply because of different cultural and social backgrounds than I think someone in their situation would have gone through. (Read: I didn't grow up in a catholic bavarian household in the 90s/early 2000s)

And again the biggest thanks to my wonderful beta-reader @skijumpingf1

Oberstdorf, January 2025

 

 

Deep breaths. Breathe in, stop thinking for a moment. One, two, three. Breathe out. How is Stephan-

 

Stop thinking, Andreas thought to himself. Stephan is doing fine, you know that, idiot. He told you this morning.

 

Andreas took another breath. Will Stephan watch this competition? Probably not, it'd start around midnight for him. Though Andreas could use some encouragement. He could use some love right now, when everything seems to fall apart around him.

 

Normally, Stephan would anchor him into the present, would calm him down and tell him that his worries are irrational. But Stephan's not here, not part of the world cup team. The last time that happened was because of their injuries. But now no one is injured and no one knows why Stephan is suddenly doing so bad. (Andreas knows why. The safe world they grew up in is ripping at the seams, a bubble about to burst. Stephan just doesn't want to talk about it in the way Andreas himself does, but it affects him as well)

 

They are supposed to be professional, Andreas should start and act that way.

 

But how could he when he still feels the same anxiety his 18-year old self did, all those years ago. When he still tears up in the same way he did, back when he first told his team, before the Olympics in Sochi.

 

He remembers how much he worried about his team mates' reaction, even about landing in a russian prison. Sometimes, the fear still haunts him. Sometimes like right now. Arguably, not the best moment, when he should be preparing for ski flying and definitely not professional behaviour.

 

Slow breaths, Andreas. Calm down. There is no need to spiral right now. And definitely no need to panic . No one will know, unless he actually tells the public, tells everyone that he isn't straight – that's what Stephan always says to him. People are oftentimes too focused on their reality, their truths, that those who disapprove of gay relationships won't see him as gay. See them as gay, as partners, boyfriends. They will be known as colleagues, team mates, friends. But not as lovers.

 

Andreas hopes there is some truth behind Stephan's words. He doesn't need more negative attention than he already gets.

 

Whether it's the usual „What was up with that jump?“ or the classic „You had such a good preparation in summer, how do you explain your current performance?“ it doesn't help his situation. Because he knows why. He knows why he can't focus, why he doesn't jump on the same level he used to. But he won't be able to tell the press why. They won't like hearing that he fears the future, fears his rights being taken away, fears the Worldcup taking place in more and more countries who hate people like him.

 

It makes him feel so helpless.

 

Which really isn't the best feeling to have right before bolting down one of the steepest hills known to mankind. But alas, here he is.

 

He fixes his glasses one more time and Stefan lowers the flag.

 

Maybe the whistling of the wind will finally silence his thoughts. It's worth a try.

 

The inrun is incredibly loud, he doesn't even hear the thousands of fans down the hill.

 

The edge is coming closer and closer. He jumps.

 

The wind is pushing him downwards, right into the awaiting arms of gravity.

 

His jump is garbage.

 

Worse than in the first round.

 

Andreas is glad, Stephan isn't watching this right now.

 

He lands and just shakes his head in disbelief. He doesn't even know what he’s gonna tell the media later.

 

Maybe Sevi will already wait for him. It's horrible. Sevi's time worrying about him should be long gone, his performance shouldn't be something Sevi has to continue to justify. But he will. He is simply too good of a friend to talk badly about him.

 

 

 

„Germany had big hopes that you, as the vice-world champion, would recover from your little slump of form here in Oberstdorf.” Andreas just nodded along the introduction of the question. He had hoped that as well. And then Stephan was taken out of the team, more or less permanently at that, and he knew that this hope was really just a dream. „Is there an explanation as to why team Germany is currently so bad?“

 

He grimaced. „Well, I know that for me personally, there are a few little details that I need to work on. My position in the inrun was too high up, so that I couldn't really feel the edge.“ Look at him, talking about mistakes in his technique instead of missing Stephan. Very professional.

 

(Judging by Sevi's sceptical glance, he can see right through it)

 

„But as you already said, that is such a little mistake! Does that alone really make the difference between landing on the podium and barely making the second round?“ That's a mean question. Andreas closed his eyes for a second, really more blinking than anything else. He needed to collect his thoughts or he'll say something stupid.

 

„That’s really the way it goes sometimes. Especially nowadays, those little details do make the difference between place 1 and 30.“ Severin, you are a blessing. Andreas should really tell him that more often. „Although it feels very extreme this season, there is almost no midfield.“ Andreas just nodded along.

 

„Absolutely, though I can't really pinpoint what changed to make it seem like that.“, he agreed with Sevi.

 

„Are you in any way affected by all the discussions around the material, like stuff aside from just the hill?“, Severin asked. Andreas should take back what he has thought earlier. That question is definitely targeting Stephan. Sevi knows. Why does he need to ask again?

 

„Well, sure, these discussions, those which aren't directly related to ski jumping itself, can be very exhausting and in the current case, upsetting and frustrating.“ Andreas tried to keep it as vague as possible. „However, I wouldn't go that far and accuse anybody of cheating. Everybody tries to gain some sort of advantage above the other nations, and in the current situation it seems to work better for the austrians than for everybody else." That's good, he’s very professionally avoiding Severin's actual question. He can see a grin spreading on Sevi's face. He outplayed him. Ha, loser. Andreas always likes interviews with Severin, they are great.

 

„But what about the Slovenians? Do you think they are cheating, since three of them got disqualified in this competition but still one of them won?“, the Journalist asked, effectively ending their silent conversation.

 

„I wouldn’t go that far and call it cheating.“ Andreas answered truthfully. „Everyone knows that the Slovenians are really good at ski flying and everyone knows that they're willing to risk a lot with the sizing of their suits. A Slovenian disqualification isn't a new phenomenon. We've got the controls, and I trust them, if they make it through. And I mean, we just saw that even a Stefan Kraft isn't infallible".

 

„As we can see there seems to be understanding for one another in the Ski Jumping Family", the reporter concluded, „Thank you for the interview, Andi Wellinger".

 

„Thank you", he responded.

 

Sevi was smiling in his direction, but that was just for the camera. He could see his question in his eyes. Andreas should get going.

 

He turned around to finally go away, as the woman next to him started shuffling in her notes. He already exited the booth when he heard Severin calling out his name. „Andi!“

 

He paused, „What?“. Andreas felt like he was shrinking. His whole posture collapsed. He felt like the boy again, who confessed his biggest secrets to Severin, simply because he needed support on the road.

 

Severin was smiling at him, eyes crinkling in concern. „We’re meeting up for dinner, right?“

 

Or, if Andreas may translate, 《I'm staying in the same hotel as you are, so come to me, and tell me what's going on. I'm worried about you》

 

„Yeah, sure. See you there.“ Andreas answered and turned around. He hoped Sevi got the hint that, maybe, he'll think about telling him. Not definitely agreeing, but also not declining. His answer is rather a plea for more time.

 

---

 

It was quiet when they ate dinner. Nobody really said a word, or asked a question which required more than a vague noise of agreement. Severin was clearly bothered by it, Andreas could tell. He has always been keen on talking everything out.

 

His phone beeped. Stephan? No, he should be sleeping.

 

It wasn't Stephan.

 

《How about we go for a drink in Willingen next week, you look like you need a hug》

 

Wanki !

 

《Shouldn't you be sleeping as well? But yeah, that sounds nice 》 Andreas answered.

 

《Shouldn’t you be celebrating podiums?》First of all, rude. But before Andreas could even be angry, he received another message. 《I'm too jetlagged, so no, I'm not sleeping. You wanna talk about it?》

 

《I'll tell you next week, please just tell me that Stephan's taking this better than I do. Also, I think Sevi will be disappointed if I don't talk to him tonight; and who am I to bear Severin's disappointment?》he let his friend know.

 

《That's good, please talk to someone! And I do think Stephan takes the decision way better than you do, so no worries here.》

 

《He doesn't want to take somebody else's place, right? He’s just too good for this world, tell him, I love him》

 

《Tell him yourself, he is your boyfriend, not mine》Meanie. 《Good night, try to get some sleep tonight》

 

《Says the right one, go to sleep. I don't want you to fall down the coaching tower :P》

 

 

„Andreas?“, his coach looked at him expectantly.

 

„What?“, he asked confused. „Sorry, I needed to respond to that.“ Using his phone while the others were eating (he should be too) was really impolite. Still, his coach's expression softened.

 

„Was it Stephan? Shouldn't he be asleep by now?“

 

„No, it was Wanki. But I'm not sure if that makes it any better“, Andreas shrugged.

 

His coach just shook his head in disbelief.

 

Andreas grinned and picked up his fork again.

 

 

 

„I'd like to ask you to finally tell me what's bothering you", Severin started as he sat down next to Andreas. „But you seem a little happier since you texted Wanki".

 

„I'm not, exactly. But I feel a little lighter just knowing that I will – eventually – talk about it.“ Andreas tried to shrug it off. „Though I promised him that I'd talk to you tonight.“

 

„Well, then, go ahead. I'm listening"

 

Andreas found that actually saying all the right words was harder than he wanted them to be. Deep breaths, Andreas, deep breaths. He had a lump in his throat just thinking about it.

 

„You remember the night I first came out to you all, right?“, he finally began. Severin just nodded, frowning a little in confusion. „I was so afraid back then, afraid of what you guys might think and afraid of what could happen if the wrong people hear about it, because, you know, it was forbidden during the Olympics in Sochi. I wasn't allowed to be myself, even if no one knew about who I truly was. I hated that I was gay, had been even way before that, and I hated that I couldn't fully concentrate on jumping because I could never change that part about me, so the fear of being discovered would always stay.“ He rambled.

 

He still feels so much like the boy he was that night, and that is his problem.

 

„I don't think I ever really coped with that fear, I've always been afraid of that part of myself, no matter how much good stuff happens.“ He let out a breath. And another one. And another one. He doesn't even know when he breathed in for the last time.

 

He heard his blood pumping through his veins, felt his hands shake, saw his vision blurring with tears. The lump in his throat made swallowing hard, he felt like vomiting.

 

Sevi's hand was on his shoulder, embracing him in a side hug. If Andreas forced himself to listen through the blood roaring in his ears, he could hear the soothing sound of Severin's voice.

 

„I hate it", he gasped.

 

„Shhh, it's alright", Severin tried to calm him down. „What do you hate?“

 

„I hate that-", he forced another breath into his lungs, „that I’m still the same, after all these years.“

 

„Yes, you are.“ Severin agreed with him. Not exactly what Andreas needed right now. „You are still one the most open-hearted, most loving people I know. That hasn't changed, you're right.“

 

„Thank you for the compliment", Andreas grinned through his tears. „But I hate that I still have the same fears and the same reactions to when one of them comes true – or even if it just might come true"

 

„What do you fear, then? What do you think will happen?”

 

„It's just with everything that happens right now-", Andreas tried to find the right words. „You know, I think we as a society really made some big steps forward in the last couple of years. And I became so optimistic about it and finally ripped the metaphorical bandaid over the fear of coming out, of my sexuality off. And you know, I became very happy, finally confessed my feelings for Stephan and so on. I finally felt like I was living in a safe world. But now that safety, the security, seems like it will be torn away from me again.“

 

„I don't think I can quite follow", Severin admitted. Andreas chuckled.

 

„Politics, Sevi. I'm talking about the shitshow that is our current politics "

 

„Oh", was all he could say to that. „Which-", he paused. „Which party do you fear most?“

 

„Are you really asking that? Shouldn't it be obvious?“ Normally Severin wasn't this dense. He knows, or he should know at the very least. „The Firewall is crumbling, and everything more to the right from that wants to ban same-sex marriage again.“

 

Andreas took a breath. He could feel the cold creeping into him, but the crisp air helped a little to calm him down. The stars sparkled above him. „I want to marry Stephan one day, Sevi"

 

„I know, and you should.“ Severin agreed. Andreas could feel he wanted to say more. „I wish I could tell you that I get it, that I understand what you are saying, but I don't want to presume that. I didn't experience what you did, both your fears and the joys. But I will tell you, that I'm always there if you need a shoulder to cry on. And that I’ll obviously try to stop your fears from becoming the reality, but in my mind, voting for democratic parties really is more common sense than anything else.“

 

„Thank you, Sevi.“ Andreas smiled sadly. „I appreciate it".

[crowsbeak-cos]

Christmas miku!

A brief, probably unhelpful rundown of how i impulsively made this cosplay in two days (with a LARGE helping of creative liberty) - part one!

(I'm writing this at eleven pm)

This entire cosplay was literally only because I saw this arch downtown and thought it would make for a cute asf picture - and I WAS RIGHT IT DID - but that does mean I had to majorly improvise.

First off- this entire cosplay was made out of a thrifted prom dress (thank you local liquidation store for selling formal dresses for eight dollars) and about half a yard of the cheapest sherpa I could find (thank you Joann Fabric I love you Joann Fabric). There are a LOT of deviances from the original outfit - most notably, Miku has her normal hairstyle (long ass pigtails...). My regular Miku wig is, naturally, horrifically tangled from being stored incorrectly, so I ended up going for the wig I bought for when I eventually do Vampire Miku. It's a lot less bright and obviously a lot shorter, but I kind of like the dark green? It feels a little more Christmas to me. Miku also wears gloves (fuck no) and has knee-high red boots instead of the thigh-highs and mary jane heels I went for. Let this be a lesson in creative liberty - if you are in a rush and it isn't for a competition, be lazy.

I can go more into detail on every thing in part two, but the dress was literally just three rectangles i stitched together and then took in to fit. Shift dresses are easy, I'm lazy, and I can't be bothered to make an actual pattern for one of these even though I've made at least four at this point. I was also very lazy when it came to finishing my seams- all I did was go in with pinking shears. It's not a competition piece- I don't have to care.

The capelet was equally simple - I literally used the math for a half-circle skirt pattern (aka I used this calculator: https://byhandlondon.com/pages/circle-skirt-app thank you for existing) to cut my outer and lining pieces. The capelet is the only actually lined piece on this cosplay because ONCE AGAIN. I did this in two days.

The collar piece and the tie were pretty easy, i ended up making essentially a tube of sherpa and added a snap for the closure. The tie was made kind of how you make an actual tie, just cut way shorter, and stitched to one end of the collar piece. The star (which is made of my good friends cheap craft foam, hot glue, plastidip, and spray paint) was glued onto the sherpa collar so that it covers the snap and makes everything look relatively seamless. I just hot glued it, the sherpa is thick enough that the glue soaked into it pretty well and the star should stay in place for a long time.

The hat. Exists? I honestly don't know if it's even made the way you're supposed too - it's kind of janky, but it works for what I need. Everything got a (very messy) helping of sherpa for trim and then Fran and I absolutely booked it downtown and half froze to death shooting these! Big shoutout to that random security guard for not yelling at us for lurking in that lobby with the camera- it was so cold and I cannot afford the medical bills that come with frostbite.

I'll go into more details and talk about the shoot itself in part two- for now thank you for reading my arguably slightly deliriously written post and I hope you had a good holiday <3

[trans-leek-cookie]

very personal (arguably oversharing) but vague on details talking about. CSA and experiences in my life that idk how to like. Organize my thoughts on them. 👎 And also I genuinely couldn't care less Abt who reads this (minus like. Pls keep urself safe y'know) here's a mahjong tile 🀄 because idk

Thinking abt CSA is fucking weird bc there was an instance that (clothed and minimal physical contact. I don't wanna over share but Id feel weird not clarifying). I have trouble personally labeling bc like in my mind there wasn't intent to harm or like. Full Awareness of what what happening bc the other ppl involved were also my age. So I don't want to label them as abusers but at the same time I do think it affected me. But, besides that, the thing is I don't think the event was The Big Thing that fucked my relationship w sex/sexuality as a kid bc really That One Was The Internet. Like the reason The Thing happened was bc all of us as kids were exposed to porn at a young age and we didn't have the ability to really process what that meant and idk Abt them but my parents just tried to keep me away from that stuff rather than actually helping me process what I was seeing?

Especially since it wasn't even something that I really actually... Idk i sought it out bc I didn't understand it well more than actually being aroused by it so. Yeah I do wish my parents had given me more info there.

But to summarize basically I don't think that even was uniquely traumatic in that like. I don't want to downplay the fact it obviously still affects me but it honestly feels like. Idk it wasn't anyones fault directly it was just decisions that we all didn't have the proper context for (my peers and I lacked the info and experience to have informed consent when it came to sexual stuff and my parents didnt know how much sexual stuff i was seeking out bc I actively hid it from them) so like.

The way I'll put it is that if someone has The Exact Same Experiences I wouldn't say they Were Wrong to label it as CSA (specifically COCSA) but personally I think that label doesn't capture the way it registers and therefore affects my relationship w sexuality. I feel like I struggle with that in some ways bc it's a sorta... Hard to define gray area and I don't Like That. I want things to be defined and like fully dissected to I can understand them.

Then there's. Like. Another incident in which my dad exposed me to a movie that. Idk it was about strippers so it wasnt that it had A Sex Scene it was About Sex Work and shit. Also one of the fuckin. Trailers for other movies they put on DVD had a "please be 18" joke (it was a racecar driver getting flashed) that. Now idk if it was meant as like hopeful or worried? But I had to ask my dad to explain that to me and he did??????? And I barely remember his explanation but man what the fuck

Anyway it's another case of I don't want to call it CSA bc that implies there is An Abuser and that. Doesn't feel right. I guess. And not just bc like oh he's my dad he wouldn't do that

It's like i wasn't forced or coerced into watching I was just curious so I watched it. And I think the problem is the fact he didn't like. I don't know

Because I was getting exposed to sexual shit on my own, so I don't even think making me Not Watch it wouldve helped in the long run. I guess it's more that fuckign. Both of these things are singular incidents that are easy to remember bc of the fact they are identifiable as Incidents

But like. The thing is that I genuinely don't think those Incidents are the problem, because even if they didn't happen I would have still been exposed to sexual material that normalized fucked up ideas of consent and sexuality and sex. Like.

I guess the problem is less Abuse and more... Neglect? In that I wish adults around me had done more to explain consent and that sexual shit isn't Bad in some nebulous way but is like. Dangerous in the way a knife is.

Because the problem isn't the fact a knife is sharp the problem is that you arent careful when using the knife and hurt yourself or someone else (or someone else hurts you) and a knife can be used to hurt people because it's dangerous but that doesn't mean it's always bad it's just Dangerous. And also it should be kept out of kids' reaches until they understand how to safely interact w it

Also tangent: I don't think asexuality should b like pushed on kids or whatever but I think it's worth telling kids about because learning about asexuality as a (pre?)teen when I had known about sex since I was probably 7 ish? really helped prevent my relationship with sex getting worse

Mainly bc it taught me it was normal to not want sex and never want sex, and I think while some kids might think they're ace when they're just y'know. Kids who aren't interested in sex. I think it does help kids who have been exposed to sex contextualize their experiences more

Like. Explicitly having confirmation that sometimes people just don't have sex (which isn't exclusive to ace ppl there's just a lotta overlap) or experience sexual attraction Ever was helpful for me to fully understand the different parts of sex. And also I don't think it's the end of the world if some eleven yrs old thinks they're ace and when they become an adult they realize they were wrong or whatever.

[redphienix]

I agree with the emptiness some games put forth by trying to be "spur of the moment successes", and I agree with the follow up of how the market side of things LOVES these successes and the many fucking shitty things associated with it.

It's leading to some unnecessary dev time being directed towards "What's gonna grab them for a week!" instead of more lasting content, and many ideas being shelved for not fitting that mold.

But also. The shit ass industry has always been like that?

It's always been "Fuck that good idea, repeat the last success!" for like, at least 30 years now. That sucks. It's not necessarily the fault of the newest "format"'s success.

In addition, not every game that comes out, does its thing, then leaves is bad, MP focused included.

What about RPGs you beat once? What about action games you clear then pass on? Any multiplayer game for that matter? whataboutism #4 whoops. Lemme divert from that.

Infinite gameplay isn't normal, or remotely good, like at all. Not to imply that's the "longevity" being talked on, I just hate infinite gameplay so I'm tossing that in my prose.

Longevity doesn't necessarily have to be involved for an experience to be worth while. Not Every game is that game you turn on every few months and that's okay.

Fall Guys gave some people a good few weekends of joy, that's enough. Or should have been, more on that later. Definitely the odd sheep out in the discussion as it is emblematic of some industry soullessness.

But simultaneously, it means buying into it "today" is most likely not enough, it's arguably lesser, it's arguably "dead", and that aspect of the design sucks----- but mostly occurs if it was the intent which uh, with how Fall Guys was made and later adapted, may be the case.

I can't look at Among Us, a game aping on a classic game format of "who's the killer/werewolf/etc" as being a game designed with the intent of stealing a weekend from you and then being dead in your library, or LC for that matter, being an amusing take on extraction games that kinda just wants to be fun for a bit.

Among Us and LC seem, from what I gather, the more sincere variants of this success. Games made to be fun for a bit, end of story.

Both are what they are. And if you gather some friends, you can have some fun in them at any point in the future. They retain their ability to be "worth it" by virtue of being effectively crafted multiplayer experiences rather than "Please SPOTLIGHT US YIPPEE!!!" MP experiences.

Both seem to have come out, found their niche as a 'party game' of sorts, and are doing well where they are- and that's chill!

I would take a million "It is what it is and people adore that for a few months" games over the litany of "This game won't ever die!* *= death would be preferable this game is just here to take your time please keep playing this game" games.

If I'm reading too far in the wrong direction go off, your post my bud, but I feel like an extrapolation is being made between "I don't want to buy a game that dies in a month" and "Games should never be one thing focused on small MP experiences" by way of the cynicism being directed towards games that don't persist beyond their shelf life, specifically MP focused titles in this case which can indeed have value despite that.

To circle back at the obvious though- OBVIOUSLY don't go buying games you don't think are worth it, regardless of literally anything, including my own ramble on my perceived value in these 'fad' style games.

For some people the only value is in the fad moment itself- for others it's more timeless in its appeal- and for yet more it's not a problem to them that it was only a fad because it was fun in that moment and that equates to being worth it years later when disinterest is all that remains etc etc etc

It simply feels like it's a disservice to view games that are great experiences in and of themselves as overall disappointing just because they aren't an endless experience- though I believe that exact disdain would indeed begin to grow if one were to begin associating the success of these "flash in the pan" style experiences with overarching game trends.

But to be completely honest?

I think the overarching game trends are much more interested in "Play this forever please :)" to the point of even tainting "flash in the pan" titles like the aforementioned fall guys, thus making them far worse over time as they stop being What They Are and start being "Play This Short Experience FOREVER!!!!!!" which uh, no thanks.

Fall Guys seems designed from the start to be a spotlight game, from the get go it takes the worst timed life of a normal multiplayer game (think I don't know, fuckin' call of duty, people are going to get better and then run out of progression/fun to have) and then mashes that with a SMALL experience of "do the obstacle course and silly minigame" thus lowering its lifespan even more, which makes it pretty easy to understand why it's still shambling along as a live service corpse

Fall Guys mashing battle royale stylings with lower ceiling gameplay is in itself an interesting concept that deserves the attention it got- but combining those two things was damning it to a short life- to slap a live service on top of it is just barbaric lmao

Meanwhile among/LC were made to be fun in a small group and can arguably persist- with their only death knells being individual people getting their fill or people who binge video content of them until they forcefully fill themselves even without playing it.

I mean hell, Fall Guys is the only of the three that's built on a foundation that demands it changes as a community experience over time as people get better at it due to random matchmaking. You can "get too good" at among us and kill the fun for yourself, but you're not forced to by matchmaking as it is primarily a friend group game. You can "get too good" at LC and kill the fun for it, but again, friend group game, unforced etc.

Sometimes you just play a game through once and you enjoy it that way; These "shocking successes" often fulfill that same concept, just instead of being a grand story you beat over a dozen or so hours and remember but rarely replay- they are a few weekends of coop game sessions that you remember but rarely replay. That's chill.

I played like 100 hours of Phasmophobia and will probably never play it again despite it continuing to update, because I got my fun out of it and that's okay. I played like 10 hours of among us when it was "the thing", probably never touching it again, that's okay. Got a clean 24 hours on Lethal and think I have like 10 more hours in me, that's okay.

To some people these timestamps are benchmarks for whether a game is good or bad to begin with, but honestly with what I got out of each game I think it could be any number from 1 to a 1000 and I'd be content.

Each was unique and fun and has stuck with me.

It doesn't have to be endless to be good is all. Conflating this specific design with the industry's eternal trend of soullessly rehashing until the point of over-saturation seems.... off?

Especially when only one of the three examples provided is a game designed wholeheartedly to grab your attention (and money) and then die, with the other 2 just being like, coop games that got overly popular and as such over-saturated in pop culture for a bit.

multiplayer trend games are sooo terminal. im sorry but its true. fall guys, lethal company (amongus kinda?) etc etc. their shelf life is very short. i guess it just kinda sucks too because i don't know if i want to spend money on something that everybody plays for 3 weeks and then nobody does for the rest of the year.

if something pops off, it doesn't really ensure success. i saw so many people be like "holy shit LC made this much in less than a month!!!" like its some kind of success story. unfortunately for indie devs thats a little dangerous. you can only do so much with the content before there's nothing left you can do. theres no more eggs in the basket. im happy it popped off for the dev cuz who WOULDN'T want their game to do well. it's just sadly unsustainable and i truly hope for the best that indie devs are able to truck on and have more successes.

but ive always said that if vtubers play it, it's a certain death. (shakes head and wags finger)

[ncityzen]

I'm a reader I read

[zosonils]

Wait, no, actually, tell me about the Scribblenauts timeline. I must be real... I like it too. I love unifying timelines where things seemingly just happen, tell us!

scribblenauts fans rise up >:] to be clear this isn't an attempt to sort out the canon timeline [although if you asked i'd guess unlimited > scribblenauts > super > unmasked based on the few splinters of plot we get] but rather taking inspiration from the scraps of story available to build something new and coherent, although at this stage 'coherent' isn't super accurate lmao it's just islands of solid ideas amidst a sea of autism nonsense

basically i'm deciding that the doppelganger's presence in 10-5 of super counts as a plot and slapping that on top of the more consistently defined world and lore of unlimited and onwards [so kind of what unmasked and the subsequent comic did but batman isn't there], with an added sprinkle of the 'scribblenauts being an actual organisation that maxwell is involved in' thing that never made it past background details in the first game. while unlimited arguably has the most iconic and/or existent plot and for sure i want lily to be a deutragonist i'm not sure how much of it i'll retain because 1. turning your daughter into stone is bad parenting 2. let her tag along and be an actual character instead of a literal rock you cowards and 3. the more super-inspired storyline i have in mind with the doppelganger is probably enough to carry the emotional intensity of a mostly lighthearted story by itself and i don't want to bog things down with too many subplots lol

i'm absolutely reading too deep into this kiddie game but i think the doppelganger as an antagonist of maxwell's own creation reflecting all his worst traits would be super interesting in an environment that puts more consistent and deliberate thought into character writing, so that's the idea i'm basing this autism-powered rehash on. i don't think it's ever actually specified but when i was a little sporelet playing scribblenauts unlimited for the first time i somehow got the impression that starites grant wishes? which is cute so i'm using that as maxwell's motivation to join the scribblenauts and seek them out, that he wants to collect enough to wish for something cool and superficial that a 12ish [?????] year old kid would want. but then after lots of adventures and character development when he's in the dramatic final confrontation with his doppelganger and has matured enough to see him as a distressed kid in uniquely terrifying circumstances rather than just an annoying knockoff he instead uses his wish on giving doppelganger the chance to be a normal kid with a normal life because he wants to make kind decisions now. then i guess they all go home and nobody dies in a scripted ufo explosion

this post is getting toooooo long so i'm gonna try and wrap it up now but god i already have so many ideas rattling around my head for an autism reawakening that could be over in a week lmao. now i'm even sadder that my computer is busted because i want to replay unlimited and refresh my lore so badly..... there's a fandom page [breezewiki sweep though] for the series which has helped refresh my memory but none of the sources are cited it's a nightmare. what do you mean maxwell and lily are twins for the love of god give me a single screenshot or manual scan that mentions this

also i didn't have a good place to insert this but even though edgar and julie having 42 kids is obviously a Silly Joke and excuse to give unlimited some unique characters i am choosing to interpret it as them being experienced foster carers. i don't care to sort through every single character and decide which if any are biologically related to each other lmao but adopted/foster families are swag as hell and there should be more of them in media! it also adds a nice layer to the doppelganger plot - maxwell is more willing to reach out to him because he's seen 'angry bitter kid who will only get better with kindness' in a lot of his brothers and maybe himself, and it gives doppelganger an easy place to go for his happy ending because maxwell's parents are experts at taking in kids like him. didn't want to end this post without mentioning this because i'm already suuuper attached to the concept

[knickynoo]

A Family Ties "A, My Name is Alex" Deep (Deep) Dive pt 1

This has sort of been a long time coming. After two years of wanting to but not quite having the motivation, several of you showed interest in me putting this post together. And so guess what? We're gonna take a real close look at the greatest Family Ties episode of the series and what is arguably MJF's finest moment as Alex P. Keaton (and some of his best acting, period, in my opinion).

This is going under a cut on account of the episode is a two-parter, and there's just so much to cover. But I will be adding gifs to break it up and make it easier to read! Enjoyyyy. *vaguely maniacal laughter*

Alright, so there is a reason why you may see me mention this episode more than others. And there's a reason why it's earned itself a spot on TV Guide's list of "Top 100 Episodes of All Time." It is so wonderfully done and such a pivotal point in the series. It is THE Alex episode, where everything we've learned about this character for the previous four and a half seasons culminates in this big, serious, sad plot that works to carefully unravel exactly who Alex is and why he's that way. Here we go...

We open with the Keatons returning home from a funeral. Alex's very good friend Greg has died--a result of a car accident. Prior to this, we've actually never even seen or heard of Greg before, but the decision to kill an unknown character was the best one for this situation. What were they going to do, get rid of a friend we actually know? Skippy??? Or Doug, Alex's goofy, loveable buddy from season 3?? Alex doesn't exactly have many friends, and those that we do know are too wonderful. They had no choice but to off a rando. Nevertheless, we get a strong sense of the deep bond Alex had with Greg and find out they had been friends since they were seven.

The Keatons are all overwhelmed by the tragic loss. Except for, ya know, Alex. He's unsettlingly upbeat, raving about what a great funeral it was, making jokes, bopping around the kitchen, etc. But this behavior isn't all that strange for him. This is season 5. We know that Alex struggles immensely with processing his emotions. He frequently relies on his family to help him identify his emotional states and work through whatever is causing them. So, Alex's mom knows that he's hurting but that he may not know it. She urges him to go and lie down. Alex rejects the offer and starts talking about what a lucky guy he is. See, he was supposed to be in that car with Greg too. Greg had asked him to come help run an errand, but Alex didn't want to and said no. He realizes that he was being selfish in not helping but claims that it's to thank for him being alive. He's almost giddy as he's explaining this to his parents.

Elyse again tells him to go and get some rest, to which Alex replies, "No, no, no, Mommy...Mommy, I don't want to lie down now, okay? I wanna stay up; I wanna keep moving." This line stands out when you factor in a certain tendency Alex has regarding how he addresses his mother. In a normal situation, he almost always refers to her as "mom." BUT (and this is one of those details about the layers they put into Alex that I particularly like), in moments of high stress--when he's really upset, scared, or anxious--he often calls her "mommy" instead. Keep this in mind for later when we move into part 2 of the episode.

Anyway, Alex's family decides to leave him be, and once he's finally alone, he has a very vivid hallucination of Greg being in the kitchen with him. His family walks back into the room to find Alex hugging the air, and they're obviously concerned. Steven has a brief heart-to-heart with Alex, telling him to let himself grieve and not to rush himself. It's a process. Spoiler alert: Alex will not be taking this advice. The next scene, which I'll just mention super quickly, involves Alex contemplating becoming a monk as a solution to dealing with his increasing anxiety surrounding death and the meaning of life. He quickly changes his mind when he learns that monastic life would require him to give up girls.

Cut to later in the day, and Alex is alone in the kitchen. He again starts hallucinating that Greg has come to visit him. And here, I'll include the two reactions we've gotten so far to each of Greg's "visits."

Notice the shift from Alex just wrapping his arms around Greg in the first gif to literally gripping his shirt in his fists in the second. And whereas the first visit made Alex happy, he's distressed during the second, especially as they get to talking. Greg sees Alex is studying for his economics final and says he'll leave him to study in peace. Alex, who typically prioritizes his grades, hurriedly swipes all the books onto the floor and gives the following speech, which I will type out in it's actual form because it's a jumbled, stammered mess and a good indication of Alex's slow-building unraveling:

"What, are you kidding me? You're more important to me than this. I don't...I don't know why I'm bothering. This, this, that's, this is meaningless. That...that's meaningless. Look, uh, I mean, I mean, I mean, what's the use of busting my tail to try and build a future for myself?"

This is an Alex turned nearly incoherant with grief.

Greg tells Alex that he has to keep living. Alex ignores this and starts apologizing over and over, saying that he should have gone with Greg that day. Greg points out that if he did, he would be dead too. "I don't care. I don't care. I was lazy; I didn't wanna go--" Alex replies, returning to the same thing he's been fixated on since Greg's death: his own selfishness. Alex has now reached the point of feeling such guilt for staying home that he wishes he had died too. Mallory walks in on Alex screaming at nobody, and he tells her he was supposed to be in the car with Greg. Mallory reminds him that he wasn't, and Alex has this emotional exchange with her.

Mallory gives a typical sibling response and tells him that he's still alive so that he can continue to aggravate her. This answer doesn't help Alex or change his belief that he should have been in the car. Now, this thought of "I was supposed to be there too" is one that would likely hit anyone in this scenario, but it's especially strong for someone like Alex, who canonicallly has issues with fixating/ruminating on things. He gets something in his head and literally can't shift his focus to anything else. Remember the episode where he grows a mustache and almost every single thing he says for days has something to do with it? Or when he's afraid his head is too big and spends the day like, "Is my head too big? Hey, mom, is my head too big?? Do you guys think I have a big head? I see you're all having a serious discussion...that's nice. What is your opinion on my head, though?" It is. A problem.

Steven and Elyse walk into the kitchen, and it's then that Alex reaches the point of complete meltdown.

It's a very powerful scene and by far the most emotional we have EVER seen Alex. And! It leads the Keatons to the realization that, quite frankly, anyone watching this show has already known for several seasons now: Alex. Needs. Therapy.

The next scene brings us right into Alex's first session, and the setup, if you've seen the episode or my gifs in the past, is very interesting. It takes place on a stage, with a mostly dark background, save for the various "memories" of Alex's that pop up. This is inspired by the 1938 play, "Our Town," which follows the characters' lives through flashbacks and monologues and was done similarly on a mostly empty stage using few props. It's a fitting way to handle the rest of the episode and really get inside Alex's head. We also never see the therapist--only hear his voice as he talks to Alex. From here on out, Alex is under a microscope, forced to confront many things about himself and his life that he's tried so hard to avoid.

Alex introduces himself and tells the unnamed therapist how old he is, that he's a junior in college double majoring in economics and business. He mentions that "anything to do with money" has been a passion of his since he was a kid. This interest, we know, is due largely to Alex finding interpersonal relationships difficult and seeking the comfort and reliability that facts and figures offer him. Alex tells his therapist that his childhood was normal. He brings up when he was in nursery school and how he had the ability to identify coins by their sounds, even if multiple were dropped at once. He tells his therapist that his teachers used to blindfold him and drop coins into a piggy bank to test him--a memory he recounts as if it's like. A normal thing for people to do to a 3/4-year-old. But it serves the purpose of laying the groundwork for what will be a recurring theme of Alex being treated like some sort of interesting anomaly by his teachers throughout his school career. But we'll get more to that. Anyway, off-screen, you hear the therapist drop several coins to the floor, and Alex swiftly identifies each one. "Two dimes, a quarter, and three pennies." He's quite pleased when his therapist is impressed with this talent.

Moving on, the therapist brings up the reason for Alex being there. That his mother had said he wasn't sleeping or eating and that he's being "troubled by visions." Hallucinations aside, this is a typical reaction to stress/sadness that we see at other points in the series. There's a whole episode where the plot is Alex being so stressed over life that he literally doesn't sleep for days and throws the house into turmoil with his exhaustion. And after he and Ellen break up, he also stops eating and sleeping. So this is a definite pattern. @ the Keatons: your son should have been in therapy loooong before this lol.

Getting back on track: cue our first "flashback" from Alex's childhood. These are done very interestingly as well, since they don't use a younger actor to play Alex. It's just MJF playing each iteration of his younger self, and he does it SO. WELL. Like, just through a slight change in his speaking pattern and body language! It's fascinating to watch. In this flashback, he's 7-years-old and with his mother at the breakfast table. I won't rehash the whole thing, but it boils down to a conversation where Elyse expresses her concern that Alex is so wrapped up in news/politics/business instead of living the life of a typical child, and Alex pointing out that he just can't relate to a room full of kids whose primary concern is learning to tell time. I especially like the way it transitions from the memory--where Elyse is trying to get Alex to stay and eat breakfast before school (he says he can't because he's so busy) back to him speaking to his therapist. It also serves as a good reminder of where Alex is at mentally, that he thinks he somehow could have prevented the accident.

The flashback is fitting because Elyse worrying about Alex is, in fact, a big part of the show. You may have seen me mention in FT posts how much I absolutely love the relationship between Elyse and Alex. She is such a loving, supportive mother to all of her children, but her parenting style is notably different when it comes to Alex. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that Alex, independent and headstrong as he can be, really does need her support more than his siblings do. They're all pretty well-adjusted, have a grip on their emotions, etc. Alex isn't like that. He has no clue what he's feeling half the time. He bottles things up until he implodes. He has trouble with social relationships and seeing things from other people's perspectives--the source of endless problems for him. He's an extremely black and white thinker, so when it comes to sorting out those situations that are more nuanced, who does he run to? Mom. Who helps him to put things in perspective or explain why a situation went the way that it did? Mom. Who writes a script for him to carry in his pocket for when Mallory needs advice and she and Steven aren't around? Mom. Elyse is always worrying about Alex. (She also coddles him a little too much at times, which I think ended up actually hurting him a lot of the time, but that's beside the point)

The therapist wants to talk about Mallory next, so off we go into another scene from Alex's head. He and Mal have a little chat about life and death, and Mallory very optimistically shares her theories on the afterlife. Alex is in awe of how she seems to have it all figured out and mentions that it must be so easy to be her.

"Is it hard to be you, Alex?" we hear the therapist interject. Alex does not want to talk about that and wants to be left alone to talk to his sister. The therapist tells him to answer the question. "You know the answer," Alex says, "Of course, it's hard," then immediately resuming his conversation with Mal about what she thinks heaven is like, where she delivers one of my favorite lines of the episode:

"Why is it so hard to be you?" the therapist prompts again.

And with that, we reach the halfway point in the episode and the end of this post, which you're probably thankful for because, wow this was a lot. Stay tuned for pt 2, where things really start getting good.

PART 2 HERE

[daikonwatte]

//Spoiler warning: Toilet-bound hanako-kun chapter 81.//

Thoughts and theories.

First of all, I would like to start with the fact that I partly discussed it with @hania-chan therefore thoughts and facts are similar. Before I come up I stele something.

----------

Facts:

- We now know that Hanako died at 13. [Unless Kou says this wrongly, which I very much doubt]

- Nene admitted she likes Hanako [It was obviously the knowledge we all know]

- The mysterious guy is called Katakuri

Topic one: Tsukasa death, the black hole and the house.

We now officially know that Tsukasa had contact with this hole before his greatest wish. And above all, has expressed smaller wishes, but never for himself but only for his brother.

Tsukasa died for Amane sometime in the winter of 1960. By giving his life in exchange for Amane's life.

Before that one could clearly see how this black hole slowly learned how Tsukasa reacts and behaves. Tsukasa always has the hole by repeatedly copying the sentences.

Then Amane refer to this hole as a god. Or rather, he suggests that it could be something like that.

If this hole, this house were a god, it would certainly not be a real one.

Perhaps at most in the manner of fallen God. And the question is why, in the end, the hole copied Tsukasa. And why the copy does not appear until more than six months later.

And while this copy may seem good, it is arguably not good enough. Because the mother has recognized that it is not her child. At the time that this black hole learned from him, Tsukasa was very fixated on wishes. But only to make his brother happy.

In other scenes from the manga, however, you can see that he is not so focused on it. Perhaps that explains why the elder Tsukasa is so extremely obsessed with desires. Because little Tsukasa brought living beings to the black hole again and again, as a victim the black hole probably thought that this boy doesn't care about any other life except for his brother.

I doubt that, but this would explain his behavior from the older Tsukasa.

The elder Tsukasa must have been killed after November 25, 1969. But still in 1969.

Topic two: Amane his death:

Amane did not die when Tsuchigomori got moonstone from him. He must have died in winter too. We know that Tsuchigomori got moonstone in July. Then there is almost half a year in between until Tsukasa dies. Or even half a year.

Can you think of what? Tsukasa his copy came six months later as a small child. [even if it was a little more. It is similar]

It's just one thing I noticed, I don't see any further meaning in it. Do you have any thoughts on that?

With all this together, however, it is not clear how Amane died. Especially how it came about that he is bound to school. It was once said that there was a family suicide in the Red House. Does that include Amane?

If he died there, with everyone else. Has he then perhaps made up his mind to commit to the school?

If we start from the seenario that he wanted to punish himself, it could be that he wanted to bind himself to the place he hates most. The school. Terrible memories, probably bullying. This has not yet been confirmed.

Or whatever god Hanako had to do with, that was his punishment from God.

There is still far too much room for speculation on this subject.

Topic three: Katakuri:

Is Katakuri Evil? Does the house belong to him?

We know his past, that he was wrongly sacrificed. Maybe he couldn't just see this and his anger, his anger at all the people, have turned into power.

And you have seen that little Tsukasa always sacrificed a life for the house and, in the end, his own.

What if he tries to come back to life through other living beings, through another soul? The question then is why did he keep Nene down below? In the end he expressed the wish, or the request, that she should stay downstairs with him.

Or he's a normal boy who just didn't want to be alone while he will die soon.

Topic Four: Name Katakuri:

Katakuri is a flower that literally means: dog's tooth. She's of the kind of lily ... and that reminds me of something.

It could actually be related to Hanako. Especially on the cover you can see that Hanako is surrounded by such flowers and others.

Their meaning is also quite interesting:

First love, we know that Aida and Iro named Nene as Amane's first love during the festival. That's quite interesting ..

Topic five, why do I find every action by Tsukasa and Katakuri so .. suspicious ?:

[I got this reference on Twitter from ChicaAizawa]

Somehow that gives me the mega Hanako vibes. I don't know why, it could simply be because Aida and Iro like certain behavior patterns, but some things are just very similar.

That too! It irritates me. However, it is now quite unlikely that this person Hanako embody his feelings. And the two are brothers. That's probably why it looks like that here. But usually Tsukasa rarely makes such faces ..

And above all suddenly to Nene ..

Topic six: splinters or splinters of glass behind little Tsukasa:

These splinters also remind of Hanako but also of the separation. What if Kou, with his strong words, did something messed up what will happen now?

What exactly I don't know yet, so what do you think about that?

Thanks for reading my thoughts and theories from Chapter 81!

And I would also be interested in your opinion .. @milkandbubbletea What do you think?

[ectonurites]

thoughts on Cissie kissing Tim out of nowhere in Young Justice #17?

I swear to god some of u ppl read my mind I was JUST thinking about that yesterday

But I was thinking about it in terms of ‘how id make this about Cissie having a crush on Cassie but being closeted’ for the sake of a cissiecassie fic i one day want to write as opposed to necessarily how it went down in canon, but I will talk about both ❤️

So. Anyways. That kiss huh, it feels super out of nowhere, right? Lets look back at the whole scene

(Young Justice (1998) #17)

Cissie has this really emotional private moment with Cassie, a playful one with Bart, a tense one with Match pretending to be Kon, and then when Tim tries to do a normal goodbye (as basically the only one not trying to pressure her to stay/come back) she just... grabs and kisses him.

Now lets pretend we're back in December 1999 when these issues came out- and hop over to that month's Wonder Woman issue that starts off with this little disclaimer

(Wonder Woman (1987) #153)

What do we find out there? That Cissie apparently has a secret crush on one of their teammates.

(Wonder Woman (1987) #153)

So with the way things go down in YJ #17, it's pretty heavily implied that she was talking about Robin, and the YJ thing was just her making her confession bluntly as she leaves- a 'now or never' type thing. Overall it's kinda random still because before this stuff it really didn't seem like she had a thing for him (compared to how Cassie's thing for Kon was blatant) but 🤷‍♂️

I think it's interesting that she kisses him after specifically saying this stuff though:

(Young Justice (1998) #17)

Robin (who at this point none of them have seen unmasked AND don't know the name of) is arguably the person they know the least about- seems a little odd that she'd make such a point of calling out how little they know each other before confessing feelings she apparently has for the most closed off member of the team via a kiss.

WHICH is part of what leads into my queer hc reading of all of it:

Cissie does not actually have a crush on Robin, it was just something she said to get Cassie off her case at some point*, and Cissie kissed him as an impulsive thing because she wanted to make a dramatic exit that would leave everyone more confused than anything else, as a distraction from feeling sad (because as evidenced by the tears, Cassie in particular was sad) and this opportunity just presented itself (especially bc Cassie had urged Tim to say something to her- Cissie could easily think 'Cassie thinks I like him and is trying to use him to sway me into staying, doing this and exiting will make a big scene and show how serious I am about leaving')

Obviously that wasn't the actual intent as it was written, the intent was probably more something like 'oh surprise drama! Cissie had a secret crush on him the whole time!' BUT I can interpret things how I want to for fun <3

*I imagine the conversation going something like this:

Cassie: Okay- well I told you who I like... do you like someone on the team? Cissie, thinking about that time she fell asleep holding Cassie's hand in YJ #7: It's none of your business, Cass. Cassie: Oh come on! You totally do- you gotta tell me, we're best friends, right? Cissie, panicking: Um... Okay, but you have to guess. Cassie: Bart? You did tell him that one time- Cissie: [laughs] Oh god no- he's like my little brother. I just did that to shock his senses. Cassie: Wait... is it... is it Superboy? Is that why you don't want to tell me? Cissie, rolling her eyes: Trust me, if I liked him, I already had plenty of chances. He's all yours. Cassie: Then it's Robin! The whole man of mystery thing does it for you? [laughs] Cissie, realizing she has to say yes now or else Cassie might realize something's up: Well, yeah, he's gotta be cute under that mask- I bet he's got pretty eyes. But... promise not to tell?

[thestorytellersapprentice]

Why Do-yeok

I cannot believe I'm writing another one of this "Why" post. I thought it's a one-time thing with Love Alarm... But, here I am. Maybe because just like the previously mentioned Netflix series, Nevertheless causes huge discourse among its viewers. Team Potato and Team Butterfly. Jae-eon and Do-hyeok. Sanctuary or the gravitational pull.

And first off, an important note: my intention by writing this is not to seek any debate with anyone. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so here's mine. Feel free to read it or definitely not to read it if you're firmly on Jae-eon's corner and you can't imagine Na-bi with anyone else but him. I just want to sort out my thoughts simultaneously through writing this. And this is gonna be a bit long, I suppose.

So, as the title already declares, I'm Team Potato all the way. And, yep, this means I'm thoroughly on Do-hyeok's side and I want him to be happy because he deserves it. (Still need to see what's in store in the final episode, but I'm perfectly okay with an open ending: Na-bi ends up not choosing anyone but herself, as long as her friendship with Do-hyeok remains intact.)

And this comes down simply because of who Yang Do-hyeok is as a person.

If Do-hyeok is real, then you can bet that I'll date him myself too. At the very least, I'd definitely like to be friends with him.

Why?

Because....

One. His whole vibe is just so....warm and comfortable. We often see Do-hyeok's cheerful sides. He smiles a lot (and boy, Chae Jong-hyeop's smiles are just so endearing, but we're talking about the character here. Ahem.) He's attentive, thoughtful, and open. And he's not only like this with Na-bi. He, by nature, is a very friendly person, as you can see from his interaction with Do-yeon, his cousin, also with Na-bi's friends and the hyeongs in the noodle restaurant that he works at.

And I like it a lot that even just after Do-hyeok confesses to Na-bi and she turns him down, the very next day, they're able to speak with each other normally and just talk about his videos and how she'll watch them and give him feedback. That night, Na-bi also answers his call with a smile on her face. They joke around and not even stopping after Do-hyeok throws her some arguably-cringey-lines (if uttered by other guys and not handled properly). Clearly, Na-bi's very on ease and comfortable with and around him despite everything that has happened.

She even says this on her own: "And most of all, I feel comfortable when I'm with him."

Two. With Do-hyeok, the communication is sterling. Honesty and communication is also very important in a healthy relationship. Your partner isn't a mind reader, so you gotta tell her/him what you feel and think about, especially when you're having a hard time, so you both can work on it together. And our potato guy is the perfect example of openness and honesty.

Even when he's having a hard time, he doesn't lash out (unlike a certain someone), but he communicates it clearly to Na-bi: "I saw you and Park Jae-eon going into your house together. I know I said that I could wait for you as long as it takes. But I felt so jealous."

Do-hyeok also casually throwing lines like: "It's nice to hear your voice. The whole neighborhood seems empty without you." which can be really cringey, but hearing these with Chae Jong-hyeop's delivery = it's just Do-hyeok openly sharing his thoughts. And, again, he's not just like this with Na-bi. That's just the way he is. He openly states his concerns and thoughts to people close to him.

After her first disaster relationship and Jae-eon (who's a master deflector on all personal questions and is truly opaque), IMO someone like Do-hyeok is what Na-bi needs. With Do-hyeok, she never has to guess where she stands. And Na-bi responds to his openness accordingly. She shares her worries and not-so-good moments ("I was spacing out because the critique went badly. I got scolded. This semester is really the worst. I didn't get accepted to the exchange program as well.") And of course, Do-hyeok responds by reassuring and encouraging her.

Three. They begin as friends. Childhood friends, even. And while some may point out that she friend-zones him, I beg to differ. The expression on Na-bi's face when she first sees Do-yeon and hasn't recognizes her is not the expression of someone who sees her just-platonic-friend conversing with a girl. You can practically see the gears in her head turning and she suddenly looks unsure: "Who is that girl talking to Do-hyeok?"

But anyway, iIluminatedquill has written here and here what I want to say and more, so I won't add any more here, other than this: it's my own personal preference as well. I'm just more drawn to romantic relationships which also evolve from friendship. I feel that lust will only get you so far, and the companionship aspect is what makes it long-lasting. (Even in my personal life, my boyfriend is not only my boyfie, he's my friend and partner in crime also.)

Four. Do-hyeok has good and normal relationships with his family. He obviously has good relationship with his Grandpa (judging from the way he's reviving his Grandpa's noodle place until his Grandpa feels better) and is close with his cousin, Do-yeon. While this is based on what's been shown and even though we never see or hear about his parents, I think it's safe to say that Do-hyeok most probably grows up in a loving family and he carries their values with him as he approaches his relationships with people as an adult.

Again, this is mostly personal preference, but as someone who highly value family, for me this is another point for Do-hyeok. I'm not saying that someone with dysfunctional family cannot form loving relationships, but it's what one aspires for.

Do-hyeok cares for people. He takes care of them (e.g. voicing concerns over Do-yeon's plastered hand, preparing umbrella and coffee for Na-bi, etc etc). And, sadly, Jae-eon's distant family background just makes him even more detached and non-committal towards people.

As for Na-bi, she wants to learn from her mother and not following in her footsteps. "I promise myself I would never date while watching my mom." It's heavily implied (and is practically confirmed by her aunt) that her mother dates around as well, and from the one scene we're shown during her birthday weekend, she always feels like her mother neglects her and she's upset about it. So, yeah, Na-bi wants to live differently, and it's clear who's a natural at it already.

Five. I can see them growing together. Yeah, Na-bi's mostly the one who needs to sort out her life, but she also can be a good influence to Do-hyeok. She gives him feedback on his videos (as an example) and he builds upon that.

From Na-bi herself: "I don't want to ever disappoint Do-hyeok." She sees him as such a good guy and always receives things from him. I interpret her line here as her desire to improve herself, to be better. And that's how a good relationship should be, right? It brings out the best out of each other.

That's it from me for now.

I guess some of the points up there can be different priorities for different people, and that's okay. As I've said at the beginning of this post, this is all mine, so feel free to disagree.

To me, Jae-eon is like this very strong gravitational pull: he's sexy, mysterious and very alluring, yet he displays oh-so-many red flags. It's all such a rollercoaster ride with him: very fun and thrilling, yet can also cause you extreme dread.

While Do-hyeok is like a sanctuary. He represents safety, stability and ease. With him, it's like strolling on a park somewhere under the sunshine: things feel warm, pleasant, and cozy.

Na-bi probably still feels the gravitational force of Jae-eon. It's hard to shake off completely on such a short span of time, but I hope she remembers that just like her namesake, she always have her own strength to fly and defy gravity.

[hklnvgl]

Hi! I have a totally random question lol. I've seen a few people compare Pynch to Wolfstar (and Adam and Ronan to Lupin and Sirius as people too). What I don't get it folks saying that Wolfstar was a 'better' (stronger? more interesting? idk) ship than Pynch. I mean..? I don't see it, personally. What am I missing here?

👋 hi! i’m gonna begin this (i’m guessing it’s gonna get long—i’ve actually filled two pages of handwritten notes to try and make sense of my many opinions about this) with a disclaimer: my approach to shipping is very different when it comes to pynch and other fandoms. normally, i’m not actually a very active shipper—when i read fics for other fandoms i normally look for plot and feelings and, because most of the time there’s shipping involved, i usually don’t mind if a ship is there and might actually enjoy it but it’s not something i tend to go out of my way to search for. i just don’t usually ship fictional couples romantically! it’s all the same for me if they’re canon or not (though if they’re canon they will have more canon scenes together so that might help me to eventually ship them? idk i’m just the least romantic person you can find out there 🤣)

so that’s why i haven’t read a lot of wolfstar fics (i think maybe 2 or 3 where the focus was on their relationship? i remember a quite lovely texting au) and even less meta—when i read hp fics i will look for explorations of harry’s abuse, which is what gives me feelings, and in those wolfstar is usually there bc they adopt harry or something like that.

that said, and having therefore canon!wolfstar in mind (perhaps the similarities are stronger in fanon, i just don’t know enough to say!), i really don’t see why people would compare them either (apart from the fact that they’re popular mlm ships?) and i do have to agree with you that pynch is a more interesting ship (for me!)

and, yes, i can see there are a few traits remus and adam might share if you squint, but imo once you start really thinking about it they’re two very different characters! they’re both said to be poor on text, but in adam’s case that comes from the family he was born into and if i remember correctly remus’ dad was middle class (i can’t remember exactly but i think he worked for the ministry?) and remus was poor only because he couldn’t hold a job due to him being a werewolf. idk if people’s comparisons go further and they see cabeswater as a parallel to the werewolf thing? but if that’s the case adam made that choice himself and he embraced it eventually and it’s actually crucial for the resoultion of the series’ plot! remus being a werewolf was great for book 3′s plot twists and for shunning him out of society and little else. personality-wise i guess they’re both smart? i do think remus is more the type to give up after a while but 🤷‍♀️ (oh is it bc if wolfstar were canon it’d be implied that remus is bisexual bc of tonks??)

now when people compare ronan and sirius they only look at the surface which makes me super mad! they say they’re the same just bc they’re brash? and wear leather? and were born in rich families?? but sirius was abused as a child and left his family bc he was the odd one out (which in the lynch family would actually be more accurate to say declan is??) and ronan’s trauma comes from a wildly different place! arguably niall (and aurora? apparently from that little snippet of mister impossible i haven’t read yet) were also abusive to him but definitely not in sirius’ way? (that’s actually closer to adam’s family’s brand of abuse!)

i’ve also seen people say the gangsey’s dynamic is the same as the marauders’! and i’m sorry but i really think that’s not true! for starters we only see the marauders as a whole in flashbacks! and not even then bc lily was not part of the group yet (i guess people compare her to blue bc they’re the only girls??) imo the marauders (or what we see of them) do not inspire healthy friendship feelings! james is the leader and a big asshole and only sees sirius as his equal—he is very happy with peter’s (apparent) worship and i guess they all were super happy to believe remus was the traitor bc they didn’t trust him enough (a werewolf will always be a werewolf) and everyone completely oversaw peter (which i guess is why he did what he did but he’s too plain of a character to have had believable motivations when he turned to voldemort) and he was considered second-class among the group. also that scene with snape in book 5, where we see them all together, is not the gangsey’s dynamic at all??

anyway. back to wolfstar/pynch. the only canon moments in which they give me similar vibes are, for wolfstar, in book 5 when harry firecalls grimauld place from umbridge’s office (i think it was that moment) and we kind of can guess sirius and remus are spending time together at the house and have this caramaderie going (that i guess could be interpreted as shippy) and, for pynch, back in trb when ronan is driving adam to the trailer park for the last time and he says: “man, you don’t have to go back in there” (and i remember thinking in my first read something long the lines of “aw, they are friends after all!).

so. because adam and ronan are part of the main cast of their series they are more flashed out as character (i’ll always think sirius and remus did have potential but everything was too tangled in the plot and, besides, hp is harry’s story!) and i actually do care more about what happens to them as individual characters! but i also ship them! their relationship and their dynamic simply appeals more to my personal tastes! i believe they are perfect for each other and i could read a thousand alternative first meetings and soulmate aus with them as protagonists and i’d never get bored.

as of wolfstar, well, as i said i don’t mind if i go into a fic and they’re a couple in there (they’re cute, sure!), and they’re great friends and obviously care for each other, but we do see too little of them together and how they would counter their respective differences for me to say they’re a perfect couple (they might have been in a different universe and i’m sure there are plenty of fics out there that explore that, which i personally have not read simply bc i lack the motivation to do so).

tl;dr: i like adam and ronan more as separate characters and i just love the dynamic they have in canon, which is why i enjoy reading/writing about them as a ship. imo, wolfstar had potential but hp was not about them and if people say they ship them i nod as i do when a friend tells me irl they’re seeing someone new and i hope they make each other happy.

perhaps someone who’s more deeply in the wolfstar fandom can add a different view to this?

[solasan]

I absolutely love half-elves and Roslyn seems like a total sweetheart so if you don't mind! 🌹🌻🌺🌼 from the soft asks meme if it's not too much trouble!

omg 🥺 !!!!!!! ofc it’s not too much trouble it never is thank u for askin abt her and thank u for liking roslyn too <3

🌹 where in the world does your OC feel most at home? is there any reason why? if it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? what does home mean to them?

roslyn is never gonna see the place she feels most at home again and that makes me sad. but! it’s called westgrove, and it’s her father’s estate; she was born there with very little fanfare. (another of her cousins, odanna, had been born only a couple days earlier, so the whole trevelyan clan was celebrating a legitimate baby while roslyn was screaming her way into the world.) it’s an olive farm, technically, but none of the family itself does any farming; everything’s harvested by workers. it’s out of the main city, too, and kind of far away from the closest village; it’s the place of roslyn’s childhood, so she thinks of leaves and mud and sunshine every time she remembers it.

home, to roslyn, is softness and freedom. she found something similar w solas, i think, just bcos he felt? safe? and free? she always felt very comfortable w him. she still does, in a way; even knowing what she does now, she thinks of him and misses home. it’s v v sad

🌻 what little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? what tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?

on a larger scale, it’s the inherent goodness of people that makes roslyn happy. early on in the game, shes very happy w all the people like corporal vale who are trying to help the refugees, for example. it’s like……. shes been seeing the worst of people, arguably, for the last ten years, but seeing that there are still good people in the world, people who try to help, inspires her. cole’s one of her bffs of all time for this reason; they adore each other, bcos they’re two helpful people who look at suffering and cant bear it, they have to do something abt it, and they like seeing that reflected in each other

but littler things do too. kids playing swordfight in the yard, or maids teasing each other. the devotion that that dude in redcliffe shows his dead wife, asking for flowers to be brought to her grave even now, and having brought flowers to her grave in the past himself. it’s just….. people. shes very different from solas in that people have always felt real to her, real living beings with their own lives and little tics and thoughts and dreams etc etc. it’s why shes as compassionate as she is

🌺 what does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? how do they handle this if they’re alone?

oh phew roslyn doesnt sleep for a long time after haven bcos of her nightmares. but she likes to read to calm herself down. anything, rly. she’s re-read the tale of the champion so many times; when she meets varric, she has a total freakout. this isn’t quite the same, but given the nature of her upbringing (she was basically raised as tho she was a legitimate trevelyan by her father), when she needs to immediately distract herself, she goes through the steps of various popular ballroom dances in her head. sometimes u’ll catch her unconsciously doing them in small movements, usually in her chambers.

reassurance is always good for her, tho. from anyone, rly. she needs to feel as tho shes doing the right thing, shes being a good person, shes doing her best, her fears are valid but untrue, so if anyone acknowledges that, shes immediately like uwu. but she’s so used to being alone that her main coping mechanisms are ones she can do alone

🌼 who are this characters friends and found family? how did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? what do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

ok i have a lot of feelings abt roslyn and dorian. they’re very distantly related, but both on very bad terms w their immediate family, so they kind of adopt and cling to each other like ‘YOU are my family, i have u, i dont need the rest’. they rly do treasure each other a lot — they’re like twins, almost? both funny, both bookish, both soft and wounded underneath. 

apart from him, tho, sera and solas also feel like family to her. for very different reasons, obviously. but sera and roslyn understand each other, bcos roslyn used to be a servant and knows how much nobility fucking sucks, and bcos they both have a lot of confusion over elves and elven culture etc etc. solas and roslyn are just like……. rly fucking good friends, honestly. even before anything gets Romantic they rly value each other’s opinions etc, and they talk so much about so much, always pushing each other to ask questions and consider the world around them. which is why shes so broken up abt the ‘we arent even people to u?’ thing bcos shes like darling….. beloved….. i thought u were looking at us. i thought u were looking at the world.

in friendship and romance, she looks for kindness and good humour first, but also intelligence. she wants to be able to have a good conversation w someone, most of all, and she wants a connection, bcos she’s felt so disconnected from the world for so long. shes quite unexperienced in love — i have this whole thing of like. nobles dont like her bcos shes a servant, but servants don’t like her bcos shes a noble, so before the inquisition she had like 0 friends or lovers — but she just wants someone who will be there at the end of a long, hard day. i love her…….

[scumbagsblog]

Loving the text messages!! Keep up the good work! Also if you don't mind could you describe darks and antis personalities according to you?

Absolutely!!! Beware though, I’m about to wax poetic because I LOVE these two characters. I’m sorry that this post is so long but I’m NOT putting it under a cut because I worked on this for over a fucking hour instead of writing my history paper and I want at least one person to actually read it. :P

I’m gonna go a little in depth with what I believe is their canon personalities according to my interpretation and then how I incorporate those interpretations into Texts From Dark And Anti. Some of you may be surprised to find that I actually heavily take their canonical personalities into account when I make my edits; it’s not all just dick jokes and memes for the sake of notes. Texts From Dark And Anti is my love letter to these two characters, and I’ve gone to great lengths to portray them in the best way possible.

But enough babbling. Let’s start with Dark.

CANON PERSONALITY: Master Manipulator and Sexual Predator

Per Mark, Dark is a master manipulator. He’s a snake in the grass, ready to tell you anything and everything you need to hear in order to get what he wants from you.

I’d argue that this often works for him. Obviously he’s a very good actor if he’s able to mimic Mark perfectly in the “Chocolate” ending, so that makes me think that he’s able to assume whatever personality and/or extend whatever favors he needs to to trick his victims into abiding by him.

But it’s also worth mentioning that Dark’s biggest weakness (arguably) is his jealousy. As Mark said, Dark’s extremely jealous of Mark, and he wants everything that Mark has: wealth, fame, success, and devoted fans. I’d be willing to believe that that last thing is what rubs Dark wrong the most.

Evidence? Mark’s fans are exactly what he goes after. Wanna know what’s freakier? IT FUCKING WORKED.

Mark took all of his fans out on a date. All of us adored him for it. Dark got jealous of this, so he infiltrated the date and tried to get us to support him instead. And when Tyler Mark showed up to fight him, Dark didn’t kill him himself. He manipulated us into doing it for him.

And what brings this home is that Dark has had the longest lasting potential out of anything to come out of this video. All of the other memes and references have lost their luster by now, but the resurgence of Dark-related fan art, ask/rp blogs, edits, and memes are still going strong. Dark infiltrated our date and convinced us to love him and worship him the same way that we do Mark, and we fucking fell for it.

So why does he do this? Is it just because he’s a jealous prick? Partially, but I think that, canonically, there’s more to it. I think it’s because he thrives on his ability to hold power over people, which is comparable to–get ready for it–sexual predators.

Dark exhibits a lot of the traits we normally attribute to these criminals. He’s attractive, charismatic, extremely manipulative, and sadistic. He says things like, “I can give you anything,” and, “If it’s dinner you want, I can provide.” Provide is an interesting word choice here, because that’s what society has dictated the man in a relationship should do. He even acts seductive: arching his neck, eye-fucking the camera, and he even blows us a kiss (see below). But the way that he grabs and shakes us periodically throughout his mental breakdown betrays his inner sadism and anger issues, also common among sexual predators. I absolutely think that based on Dark’s behavior and what we know about him, he’s totally down to fuck anyone and everyone in order to get what he wants–consensual or otherwise. And I definitely think he’ll enjoy it.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that Dark is a nymphomaniac. As an otherworldly being, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t even have a sex drive. But sexual predators don’t usually rape their victims just to get their dicks wet. Usually, it’s a power issue; they want to feel like they have mastery over something, and that they are dominant and in control. Given Dark’s obsession with taking all of Mark’s glory away from him, coupled with his violent mood swings and sadism, I would say that sexual assault is probably just one of the many ways he appeases his insatiable appetite for power and manipulation. And I’d even bet that it’s one of his go-to’s.

In Texts From Dark And Anti, I normally portray Dark as a bitter old demon who doesn’t understand memes and doesn’t want to put up with anybody’s shit. But I didn’t just do this for fun; I did it because I could see Dark being jaded in real life. Off-camera, when he’s not trying to seduce us into adoring him over Mark, I could see him being sick of being overlooked. He’s old, even by Mark’s channel’s standards, and up until “A Date With Markiplier”, he wasn’t mainstream in the fandom at all–not fun for someone who craves the adoration of others. So he’d definitely be off-put by Anti’s much younger, more erratic personality, and in a bad mood he’d bitch at him for it. But in a good mood, he’d use it to his advantage to get whatever he wants–sex, souls, and anything else his blackened heart desires, both for the reward and the thrill of not having to do it himself.

Now let’s talk about Anti.

CANON PERSONALITY: Chaotic Psychopath

Jack has been near-silent on his personal interpretation of Anti (although he’s stated that he definitely has a personal canon that he refuses to share, the little fucker), so all of this is going to come from speculation and what we see onscreen.

While Dark chose to make his debut in one long, continuous, elegant appearance, Anti showed up randomly throughout the month of October, with no prelude and no explanation as to why he was there. Also in contrast to Dark’s smooth, charismatic personality, Anti is visibly unstable, jittery, and psychotic. Both he and Dark exhibit bloodlust, but Anti doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t hold back any of his sociopathic tendencies, going so far as to murder his host on camera for the world to see.

We don’t exactly know what Anti’s agenda is, but that’s just it: I don’t think he has one. At least, not one beyond the psychotic urge to kill as much and as many people as he can. Even in “Say Goodbye”, all he does is laugh at/condemn the viewer for not warning Jack and saving him. The other times he was on camera in October, he was glitchy, with several different appearances (fangs, gauges, blood, etc.) and contorted, unsettling body movements, making me think that Anti is a supernatural being that thrives on chaos and bloodshed.

But  Anti doesn’t just want to cause havoc–he wants to cause havoc and get the credit he deserves for it. That’s why he showed up so much on camera without Jack noticing; he was there for us, not him. Then he made a big deal about us not telling Jack what was going on, condemning us for our failure to make his existence well-known. Then he crashed Jack’s panel at PAX, angry at us for “forgetting” him. He’s not trying to garner our support like Dark is; if anything, he wants us to be terrified of him.

But personally, if I had to choose between being locked in a room with Dark and being locked in a room with Anti, I’d choose Anti in a heartbeat. Because even though Anti is more obviously psychotic, at least I’d know I would be killed quickly–unlike Dark, who would torture and manipulate me verbally, physically, and possibly even sexually for an indeterminate amount of time. This is Anti’s downfall, I think; Dark disguises his true nature with seduction and charisma, but because Anti’s so unpredictable and surface-level, he identifies himself as a very obvious threat, ironically making him a little easier to understand.

Thus, my interpretation of him in Texts From Dark And Anti reflects this (albeit in a more comedic way). Anti loves memes and silly trends because he wants to stick out in a way that’ll gain recognition. He’s more up-to-date with Internet trends and slang because he’s much younger than Dark–but that also means that he’s more gullible, and a lot of simple things go over his head. Basically all of his emotions are double that of Dark’s, and he makes no efforts to disguise them. He’s also much more privvy to senseless murder than Dark. This speaks highly of his psychotic tendencies and general disregard for any order or secrets he could be bothering to keep. What you see of Anti is what you get: an easily-excitable, always-ready-to-fuck-shit-up killing machine.

So…yeah. That’s pretty much my piece. Told you it’d be long. X’D

But tysm for asking!! And if any of you bothered reading this far, PLEASE reblog or leave a reply with your thoughts on my interpretation of these two characters and how you characterize them personally. I’m super crazy interested in the lore around these two (or lack thereof), which is why I created Texts From Dark And Anti in the first place. ^_^