#but i missed shit and i don't have time to deal with a headache

[vellichorom]

there was also the annoyance of the guy whos phone broke when he brought it down to be fixed which could easily parallel everyone outside of the parable when they realize that neither of them can ever be close to normal ever again

OH NOOO THAT'S CURATOR;

the curator is the one who oversees the entire game, not by choice - but by circumstance ( a bodiless entity similar to the narrator who accidentally got trapped in the museum ), & tried as she might have to convince rosemary to keep some distance from thierry, or grow more of a backbone & REALLY put him in her place, anything to try & steer the train back on the TRACK... that didn't work out,

the poor woman has to just watch these two destroy & build each other over & over & over, & she can't do anything more than at least be there for rosemary ( the only one she can converse with ) & try being there for them " both "

she's the most mentally healthy in that entire game & she's not necessarily proud of that

[itsa-me-lily]

First: How sfw/nsfw are we allowed to go with asks and whatnot, as well as stuff you won't write? I'm not intending on sending anything crazy, I just don't wanna cross boundaries

Second: Every guy in my family (minus one), married in or born in, is/was military, and I have heard that it's not uncommon for military spouses to cheat on their partner, especially when deployed. I'm not saying dear reader is cheating or anything of the sort, but I could def see some fresh dumbass recruits trying to pull the legendary Lieutenant's wife, if only for bragging rights. Curious how that would shake out (would the recruits ever be seen again, who knows!)

TLDR for the first part, I'm okay with NSFW asks and you can find my list of no goes (as well as the master list for Military Program Spouse) Here

Here is the Simon & Thimble playlist

Now for the second part

Content Warning; Discussion of size (kind of), discussions of cheating (kind of) (please let me know if I'm missing anything)

Also Reader is fat, like size 18/20 pants, like there's a jiggle no matter what she's doing (remember kids fat isn't a dirty word what size you are doesn't define your morality, your actions do)

Also also please know that my brain does not want to let go of Reader telling Simon "well we wouldn't be in this situation if you could pull bitches" but I don't think it's going to fit in this

Honestly the sex talk had gone better than you had anticipated. In the past when you had tried to explain being demisexual and what that meant for your sexual attraction to other people you'd gotten blank stares, been told you were just picky or that you were just talking about a crush that everyone got. You knew it wasn't, but it got old fast. And while Simon stared as you explained yourself, he didn't push or tell you that it was some new made up sexuality.

It was refreshing.

You weren't even that offended when Simon had stated he had no interest of sleeping with you. You'd come to accept that you weren't everyone's cup of tea, not everyone liked a little jiggle in the wiggle. So you'd be two people who legally shared the last name, roommates, broskis if you will.

You'd agreed that any extramarital activities had to be respectful, discreet, and that if it turned serious divorce was an option on the table. Or well, you listed out your ideas in what you thought was a logical manner and Simon just listened before grunting what you thought was an affirmative and then turning on the TV for some sort of sports game. You were a theater kid growing up, you weren't a fan of sport ball. So the two of you started your married lives with the ever perpetual hall pass.

Not that you ever used yours. Again there was the fact that you only felt any real attraction or desire once you had gotten to know someone, felt a connection that...intrigued your soul for lack of better phrasing. And you are a very self sufficient woman. People weren't typically banging down your door to...well bang, so really you just went about your days.

It was probably why you hadn't noticed the recruit flirting with you at first. At first it was just a polite nod and acknowledgement of who you were when you had to come to base to fill out paperwork. Then there were the times you'd run into him while walking through the neighborhoods. Private (or was he Second Private? You never really paid attention) Pearson was alright, a pretty boy who seemed to know it, given how he seemed to preen with attention once you caught on to what was happening. Yeah he was alright but nothing that really wanted to make you deal with the headache of dealing with two men in your life. Plus you were pretty sure he had mentioned something about working with Simon? You were not a person who shit where you ate.

So you played dumb when he tried to flirt with you, and never took him up on any offers to 'help' you around the house or to show you how to use the gym equipment, after hours of course. The cockiest had to have been when he offered to help you 'stretch' any time. The smile he wore when he offered that one was so slimy you felt like you needed a shower after.

It all came to a head one day in the mailroom. Somehow a random package had been delivered to the house instead of on base, and since Simon was out doing god knows what somewhere in the world it wasn't like he could take it with him. So you were doing your good deed of the day and dropping it off. Only to run into Pearson, who was with friends...even better.

You had tried to just smile politely and wave, acting like you were in the middle of running Very Important Errands. It didn't help much. Pearson and Co still came up to you like you were all the best of friends, Pearson even being so bold as to drape an arm across your shoulders, or he tried you. You side stepped him easily enough to his annoyance.

You lightly chit chatted, looking for an opening to excuse yourself. You'd be blunt if you had to, but you really didn't want to deal with any back lash for being a 'bitch'. Though maybe you should have. He must have sensed your deep rooted desire to get the fuck out of there, because Pearson put on the grosses looking grin, leaning in as if to share a secret.

"The boys and I were going to go out for some drinks tonight. Why don't you come with us? Promise we don't bite."

The last part was whispered liked it was a promise of the opposite. You honestly wanted to barf. A) Drinking wasn't really your scene. B) Pearson definitely wasn't your scene.

"As tempting as that sounds, sorry boys. I uh- I don't drink."

"Oh come on pretty girl, one drink won't hurt you."

You wanted to roll your eyes as Pearson tried to tempt you out, reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. Thankfully you had heard little rumors that maybe the 141 was coming home. Simon wouldn't mind you using him as an excuse...probably.

"Really I can't. Simon should be coming home soon and I still have things I want to take care of before he's back."

Maybe it was the threat of their CO being back that caused all of them to freeze for a moment, giving you the opening to slip out from their little triangle they made, making your way to the exit. Pearson must have really been desperate, or just that stupid to practically shout after you.

"Come on, you really can't enjoy him more than me right? Doubt he's really all that great and impressive."

Oh that stopped you in your tracks. Simon Riley was a lot of things, annoying, stubborn, an asshole, rude, louder than the fucking heavens when he snored, a person who didn't care if he used up all the hot water, one could even say he was creepy at times. He didn't open up about things, and acted like socializing was the bane of his existence.

He had a sense of humor that people seldom understood, but he still entertained himself. Scared you half to death dozens of times over with how fucking quiet he was, like he was appearing out of thin air, but he'd try to knock to catch your attention if you were in the bedroom or bathroom. Had what was probably a herculean amount of strength in a single bear paw of his, but you'd seen him try to offer a finger for Tombo to sniff when the little curly mop got curious.

You plastered on the biggest polite smile you had, the one that boarder lined on looking a little crazy with how much it stretched your mouth, and spun on your feet to look at the trio of men who really tried to try you this day.

"You all know my husband."

You didn't actually wait for a response as you walked back to the men, who all started to look like they were regretting their choices.

"Lieutenant Riley. You know, Lieutenant "built like a brick shit house" Riley."

You stopped directly in front of Pearson, hands on your hips as you met his stare straight on, before looking him up and down slowly.

"Really what makes you think you can...measure up?"

The scrunch of your face at the end made it very clear that you had decided that the younger man was severely 'lacking' when it came to any kind of measuring. Clearly none of them had expected you to react like this, given that they just stared gobsmacked as you shrugged and waved them good bye with the tips of your fingers, happily making a sassy exit to your freedom.

Simon Riley was a lot of things, and he was your husband. And no one talked shit about your husband except you.

Edit;

There's a second part I want to add to this that I'll probably work on this weekend. I'm very out of the habit of writing so it takes me a hot minute to get stuff down the way I want it. Anyway I hope you like this! And remember

A) Being Fat doesn't make you good or bad

B) I am a greedy greedy goblin who loves getting asks

[merchelsea]

sacrifice - lando norris

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

summary: you and lando have a long distance relationship due to your hard work. you rarely have free time to attend to his races, the only one you actually attend every year is monaco's. you understand things will have to change when lando gets into a crash and that makes you want to be there with him at everytimes.

author’s note: i hate making myself go through this.

word count:

warnings: lets pretend lando crashed duriung the interlagos gp, not the LA one, for the sake of the plot :)

"hey, babe!" you mumbled as you stirred from your nap. originally meant for a quick rest before the race, it turned into a marathon of sleep that spanned the entire duration of the race. checking the timing, you muttered, "shit."

"were you asleep?" he chuckled.

"yeah... I'm sorry babe. I was just trying to catch up on some sleep debt before the race. I am just tired..." you explained with a low rumble. lando always had a away of understanding things. "anyways, how did it go?"

"not so well, i am kind of glad that you didn't watch it, you would've freak out unnecessarely." he sighed

"why? what happened?" you sat up, eyes squeezed shut in alarm.

"it was nothing serious, just a crash." he reassured. the word 'crash' froze you, an unsettling feeling settling in your chest. "I'm fine now; I'm at the hospital doing some tests."

you didn't answer him and he immediately sensed your worry, it was your usual reaction whenever he had an incident. it was your own way to deal with stuff. "I'll have to stay here in brazil for some extra days. we don't want to rush things. everything is alright, but still."

"yeah, I know. how are you feeling? any pain? wasit bad? why are you at the hospital? is there anything they're worried about?" your thoughts rushed out, anxiety evident. you wished you could've been there with him, knowing how much he disliked going through hospitalization alone.

"calm down, baby. I'm fine, no pain. they gave me painkillers for my headache," he began, his voice carrying weariness and sadness. "the crash felt horrible from inside the car, but I've seen the footage, and it wasn't that bad. I don't think they're worried about anything specific, just my racing career," he added with a hint of self-deprecating humor.

"shut up. you know those jokes aren't funny, right?" you retorted, hating his tendency for such jokes. "anyways, I miss you so much. you have no idea." placing your phone on the bed, you awaited his response as you searched for your notebook.

"I know babe, I miss you like crazy too. and i won't be able to be home for some more days, as i told you. i hate it." you both sighed. "but it's okay, i'm glad you weren't here this time."

although you felt the honesty in his words, you could also know that it was pure bullshit. he wanted you to be there more that anything, and the fights you two had over the past weeks showed that clearly.

lando felt your support fading away and, as always, he talked about it with you, but there was nothing you could do, you could not just leave your work and follow him around the world.

your life had to come first. you couldn't be financially dependent. you had never wanted that for yourself.

"I love you, lando. you know that, right?"

"i know. I love you too." anuncomfortable silence lingered, more apparent to him than to you, as you were preoccupied with booking a flight to brazil. "look, I have to hang up to do some exams. I'll call you as soon as I can, yeah?"

"yeah, okay. keep me updated, for the love of god." he laughed and silently hang up.

as soon as you were able to, you called your boss, letting her aware of the whole situation, who, understandingly, granted you a week off, more than you needed. grateful, you expressed your thanks in every single way you could.

as you couldn't just fly there without someone knowing, you called lando's dad to let him know that you were going. he was thankful that his son had found someone who cared so much about him, and as so helped you through everything.

you would obviously be staying at lando's room with him, so you didn't need to worry about that, but there were things you actually needed to deal with and that's where he was an absolute angel, taking care of everything for you.

the flight proved to be torturous; sleep eluded you, your mind consumed by worry for your boyfriend, presently hospitalized in a foreign country that held no appeal for him. the inability to communicate with him intensified your anxiety, and the endurance of such a long flight was a challenge unfamiliar to you.

the only thing keeping you focused on trying to sleep was knowing that you'd see lando soon and that you needed to be sane.

once you arrived in brazil, adam had already sent an uber to pick you up and drop you at the hotel. you were eternally grateful for him. your appreciation deepened when, upon entering the hotel, you found everything seamlessly taken care of, allowing you to reach his son without delay.

he drove you there himself, the casual conversation during the car ride centered uiquely around the topic most dear to both of you—lando's health.

every detail adam shared heightened your awareness; lando was okay, but not as well as he should be. the information failed to ease your mind, creating a lingering unease.

after reaching the hospital, the attending doctor informed you that lando was still asleep but encouraged you to enter. you opened the door to his room, and an immediate sense of tranquility washed over you. lando's peaceful slumber tugged at your heartstrings, and the sight of his features made you want to cry; you had missed him so damn much.

you took his hand, staying by his side as he slept. despite your exhaustion, the anticipation of his awakening kept sleep at bay.

lando woke up and confusedly stared at you for five minutes straight. in his head, he was trying to figure out if you were real or if his desperation had just made you up. you squeezed his hand and that seemed to clear his mind. you were in fact there.

"love?" he muttered, scared of being wrong.

"hey baby" you whispered to him, smiling softly.

"you're here? what are you doing here?" he hurriedly sat up, his expression filled with worry, like he wasn´t the one on a hospital bed.

"i'm here to see you." you extended your hand and let it travel through his face. "got the week off, couldn't leave you alone." his smile was priceless. he rushed his arms around your waist, since you were standing now, and pulled you closer to him, head in your belly.

when he told you he had missed you like crazy, he didn't define it well enough.

he locked his lips with yours as soon as he had a chance. you missed that feeling, you missed it too fucking much. you missed everything about him too fucking much, and maybe this misfortune was just what you needed to realize that something had to change. you couldn't miss him like this all the time.

it was literal hell, for the both of you.

adam entered the room after some time and, from his face, you could see he carried good news.

and you were right. "you are free to leave today, all the exams cameback with positive answers. you still have to stay in brazil, of course, a flight so long could jeopardize your health, so you'll have to stay for a bit longer, but you two can go stay at the hotel for tonight.

you and lando celebrate this little "victory" with each other and then you start talking about going home, anticipating what you'd do.

the room was uncharacteristically quiet as he payed attention to the TV and you lost yourself in your own mind.

"I think I might quit my job." you let out with your head layed in his chest. he twists his head to look at you. "what?" he asks, clearly confused, in his head, trying to figure out where all of this was coming from.

yes, it's true that he didn't like to travel around the world every year and leave you behind, and it's also true that this past year, he felt your support fade away, but he didn't want you to leave your life in second place for him. he knew, and understood, how important for you it was to have your financial independence.

he had started to feel guilty, even though this was not his fault.

you thought and rethought about it during your flight, since it was the only thing you could do. of course you never wanted that, but you also couldn't bare the distance anymore, and his accident showed you that.

you wanted to be there, to be able to celebrate every single one of his podiums by his side and not over the phone, you wanted to be able to hold and support him whenever he needed you to do so.

six years into your relationship, neither of you envisioned it ending anytime soon. if it did, you had your savings, but for now, you craved closeness.

"seriously. i want to be with you. i think i never noticed how affected i was by your absence, but i am a lot." you admitted with a sigh. helistened intently. "I want to be able to be with you."

"are you for real?" he asked, concern in his eyes. "I don't want you to feel pressured to do that. I love you whether you're here or on the other side of the world."

"I know, lan. it's not like I would stop working. I just have to find something within my capacities that allows me to travel around the world with you. and it's not like you're going to break up with me, leaving me with nothing. I have my money."

"it's not like I'm gonna break up with you, period." he smirked. "we're a forever thing."

turning you around as if you were as light as a pillow, you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I love you," you whispered against his lips.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

[buccini555]

𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬: "𝐏𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲"

≡ You invited all your friends to your birthday party but only they came

♡ ⠂⠂୨୧ H e a d c a n o n s

⌕ 𝑭𝒕. Hanma Shuji, Kisaki Tetta, Takeomi Akashi, Wakasa Imaushi, Shinichiro Sano, Mitsuya Takashi, Hakkai Shiba and Taiju Shiba

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝.𝟷 | 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝.𝟸

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐦𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐣𝐢‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

Just when you were losing all hope of anyone coming to your party, Hanma showed up completely late with some flowers in his hands.

"Happy birthday! Wait... Are you crying?" He wouldn't even realize how late he was, much less that there was no one there, however, as soon as he came to his senses, he realized that none of the guests had attended your party.

"What the fuck are they thinking? Damn! I'm sorry, but, well... At least I'm here with you, it's not a big deal, but at least I am." Even though Shuji didn't show his feelings much, he would be a little sad seeing you so hurt at your own birthday party, so he did his best to cheer you up, handing you the small bouquet of flowers and covering you with hugs and caresses throughout the day.

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐓𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐚‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

Kisaki would be the first guest to arrive at your party, he would shyly hand you your gift and kiss your cheek, as time passed, he realized that no one else would come.

"I'm sorry for no one came..." He would hug you, gently comforting you until you calmed down, that situation made him feel incapable, since the only thing he could do for you was just stay by your side.

"I'm not going to let those bastards ruin your birthday, we can celebrate together, I know I'm not the best person for this, but... I'll do anything for you." Kisaki would say, resting you on his chest and stroking your hair subtly, spending the rest of the day being affectionate like never before.

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

Having spent the night before drinking, on your birthday Takeomi would wake up dazed from the feeling of post-drinking, for this reason, even if he was late, he couldn't help but attend your birthday party.

"I'm here, my little princess, do you think I would miss your birthday?" Takeomi would hug you as soon as you opened the door, without even noticing the fact that you were crying, however, when he realized that the room was empty and you were ending up in tears, the older realized that only he had attended to celebrate your party.

"Bunch of fuckers... No one came, right? No need to cry, I'm just here for you, hm? I'll teach them a lesson later..." Takeomi would speak, comforting you in any way he could, after that, he would celebrate your birthday by your side, even forgetting about his drinking headache.

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐖𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

"Am I too early, my princess?" Wakasa would say when he arrived at your birthday party and saw that there was absolutely no one but you and he, at that same moment, you hugged him, when he observed the sadness in your expression, he realized that none of the guests had shown up.

"... Holy shit, how did they have the cowardice to do this to you? I'm not going to allow some useless people to ruin your birthday." He would speak in a low and crestfallen tone, caressing your face and gently wiping away each of your tears, even though the older didn't express himself so easily, he was definitely determined to make you happy again.

"I'm here... I don't want to see those beautiful eyes full of tears again." After comforting you and cheering you up at least a little, Wakasa and you would stay together, eating the party's sweets and snacks while he would hug and kiss you every minute.

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

Shinichiro always took your birthday really seriously, always being the first to wish you a "happy birthday", for that reason, the boy would definitely be the first to attend your birthday party, giving you your favorite gift and some beautiful flowers, it would take a long time for Shinichiro to notice the disappointment in your eyes when he came to the conclusion that no one else would come to his birthday party.

"H-hey... Don't cry, don't let them ruin your party. I'm here, I'll always be..." The same would say with the intention of consoling you, then hugging you and giving you all the affection possible until you finally calm down.

Shinichiro would really be there for you and for you, celebrating your party as if nothing had gone wrong, you and him would have fun eating all the chocolate cake and cheese snacks.

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

Mitsuya would definitely take his little sisters to celebrate your birthday, being the first to arrive, Mana and Luna would give you your gift, right after, Mitsuya would wish you congratulations with a subtle kiss on your cheek, as time went by, no one in addition to the three, he had arrived at your celebration and as soon as the boy noticed the sadness in your eyes, he felt even worse.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry... But, we're here to celebrate with you." He would say, giving you a tight hug, trying to cheer you up even if it didn't seem possible.

Throughout the day, Mitsuya would try hard to keep you distracted from the event, you would actually have fun together even more with the presence of the sweet little girls, he would be as attentive as always, making you feel much better.

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐇𝐚𝐤𝐤𝐚𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐚‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

"S-sorry! I ended up being so late that everyone already left-" You would interrupt Hakkai with a tight hug and as soon as he noticed your face full of tears, he would realize that no one had attended your party birthday, at that moment, the tallest just returned the hug, leaving the gift he had bought you aside for a brief moment.

"...I'm sorry, don't cry, please." He would say being heartbroken to see you crying exactly on the day you should be smiling, even without knowing what to do or how to act, Hakkai would be determined not to let that day end in even more sadness.

Hakkai would remain by your side throughout the day trying to cheer you up in any way he could, you would eat cake together and the taller one would spend the day telling you random facts about his stressful routine just to get a few smiles from you.

‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊𝐓𝐚𝐢𝐣𝐮 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐚‧₊˚ ୨୧ ˚₊

"I hope I was the first to come and honor my little doll's birthday." Taiju really wasn't the affectionate type of guy, however, for your birthday, he would at least try to be less cold, ending up being the first to arrive and showering you with the most varied gifts and flowers of every color he could find, despite furthermore, when Taiju realized that time was passing and no one else showed up for his party, he began to get angry, even more so when he saw you crying because of this fact.

"You don't need to cry like that, I'm here! Then I'll personally try to teach your colleagues a lesson." Taiju would say in a serious and threatening tone, somewhat worried about your condition, his heart that felt like iron melted like butter when he saw how much it had affected you.

"God! How did they have the courage to do that to you..." He would finally give in and end up hugging you in search of comforting you, Taiju would become the most affectionate maid possible on that date to simply not end up destroying your long-awaited birthday.

[whackk-kermitt]

Dealing w/ Your Gremlin Behavior

Genre: Platonic Headconnons

Warnings: None

Request: What if Y/n was another God, who was basically a little chaotic gremlin; they see you as their child/sibling.

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Kratos

You give him a headache.

He will not hesitate to tell you to shut up.

You ramble about stupid things so often that sometimes he believes his ears will bleed.

Kratos has to hold you back by the collar when he sees that dangerous glint in your eyes.

The one that lets him know you want to try and make friends with the creature that wants to make you it's dinner.

That one that tells him that you're going to do something stupidly dangerous while claiming that you're helping.

You're not helping. You're just giving him one more thing to worry about.

When I say he's worried, I mean worried.

Atreus has done some dumb things, but you were wild and almost feral sometimes.

He's extra hard on you and even more strict with how he trains you.

Congrats, he'll drag you out for hunting and training more often than Atreus.

He's absolutely terrified that if he takes his eyes off you for even a moment, you'll piss off a troll or a soul eater.

Can't take you anywhere.

But he'd kill for you.

So I guess you can stay.

Just please stop trying to bite everything that's trying to kill you.

Atreus

Atreus thinks you're hilarious.

Bonus points when Kratos is yelling at you, not him.

But most of the time you've roped him into your shenanigans and he's taking heat too.

Half the time he watches and cheers you on, the other half he's right there with you.

Mostly because things have gone horribly wrong and he's trying to help fix it before Kratos comes along and catches you two.

Mimir

He can't do much more then tell you off if you to something stupid.

So, that being said, gremlin has free rain.

Until he tells Kratos to be his hands and smack you around some.

Then you better start acting straight, cause Kray don't play.

You are never allowed to carry him.

Never again.

Not after last time!

Sometimes though, its just good fun to watch you be wild.

Makes him miss being young.

And, you know. . . his body.

Freya

She has no patience for it.

Behave yourself, at least around her.

When you go gallivanting and come back with scraps or bruises, she'll scold you endlessly while tending to them.

"I'm speechless." While proceeding to talk for hours about how reckless and stupid that was.

She was horrified when she watched you insult a draugr's 'dead mama' while slashing it in half and doing a victory dance over its corpse.

What has she gotten herself into?

Yet despite your feral behavior, she enjoys being motherly again.

She has no problem cleaning you up and making food for you.

She just wishes you'd be more careful.

She's so afraid of overstepping and becoming too protective of you.

But she's not afraid to curse you for a day, a simple binding spell, to keep you in the house when you've gone too far.

You're grounded!

Sindri

You leave the house all clean and spiffy.

Always returning covered in dirt and mud, leaves on your clothes and in your hair.

He'll always frown and point to the bath he prepares for you when you leave.

You make his eye twitch every time.

You'd just grin and get to it.

Arguments over cleanliness while you're staying with him.

He knows you can't help the trouble you always find yourself in, but he knows you won't avoid it.

He knows you thrive on chaos.

He hates that about you, but he cares too much to let you go off with nowhere to go if something bad happens.

So his door is always open for you.

Even if it means you're dripping blood and dirt on his clean floors.

He just makes you clean it.

Brok

He's a gremlin.

So he loves that you are as well.

You two get into so much shit together it's hard to think you're both still alive.

Sindri is over it.

Heimdall

Absolutely not a fan of it.

Don't even start with him.

And for the love of god, stop trying to sneak up and bite him.

It was amusing for a while, but it's getting old.

He always has to hold you back when he see's you're about to do something stupid.

He will absolutely pretend to not have a clue who you are if you get caught doing something you're not supposed to be doing.

Lots of scolding and 'don't do anything I wouldn't do's.

If you were literally anyone else he would've fed you to Gulltoppr by now.

Baldur

He loves the chaos.

You keep him on his toes and his head on a swivel.

You are a challenge to put up with but damn you're fun!

Nobody makes him laugh quit like you when you're poking the bare.

Literally.

Please stop. What the actually fuck are you doing?

He actually 'died' jumping in when that dead bear wasn't really dead and decided it didn't like you poking it.

But hey, he's got a new rug and a fun story so yippee!

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

NOT PROOF-READ Might come back to this one and fix it up some more. It feels kinda empty right now; I'm off my game.

•Kermitts Masterlist•

[satansaidnottoday]

When they are sick: human Au.

Info: Human AU, GN!Mc.

Summary: how do they deal with being sick and how can you help them.

Warnings: just general talk of sickness.

Lucifer

He ignores all of the symptoms and signals that he's going to be sick.

Even if you try to tell him to take care, he will tell you it's just a sore throat.

He's sneezing all over his paperwork and can barely breathe.

He won't take a single day off. He'd just chug some pills and act like his fine.

In the end, you have to force him to bed when the fever takes over and he's writing down nonsense. You let Diavolo know he won't be working the rest of the week.

Protests and whines about it, but it's too weak to do anything about it. Internally he's actually glad someone cares for him, but it's too prideful to admit it.

He will sleep most of the day, trying to pass the sickness as fast as possible. Bring him tea, and some medicine, and put on his favorite classic vinyls. It will help immensely.

When he is better he thanks you genuinely. Being the oldest brother, he never got to rest and get taken care of. He's very appreciative.

Mammon

The moment he feels the smallest indication of sickness he starts to whine about it.

He just wants attention. Your attention specifically.

If you give in and console him he will latch on to you and act way worse than he actually is.

If you don't he will whine even more about you not caring about him.

"Mc! You're do cruel, I could die you know…"

Over dramatic when the cold actually hits him.

He's in bed with the lowest fever ever, crying because he's going to die.

Encourage him by saying he's way stronger than any sickness and he'll instantly stop.

You're right! The great Mammon can't lose against a common cold.

Won't let you leave his side. Gets really needy and asks you the most random questions to keep you talking to him.

"Okay but what's your second to last favorite animal?"

Will get better pretty fast, his immune system is amazing. He will pretend to still be a little sick to get pampered tho.

He will buy you presents as a thank you for taking care of him.

Leviathan

He ignores the symptoms at first. It's not like he leads a super-active lifestyle anyway. Playing video games all day can't make your cold worse.

His immune system is shit due to how little he goes outside, so when it hits, it hits really hard.

He says he's okay and can take care of himself. It's a lie, he not only wants you to take care of him, he desperately needs it.

He gets high fevers and skull-hammering headaches. Every time he sneezes he feels like his brain is rearranged. He can't even sleep because of the pain.

He clings to you and whines about the pain.

"Why meee?"

You make him his favorite chicken ramen because that's all he wants to eat.

Since he can't look at screens, you read him novels to keep him entertained.

When he gets better you stay over for a marathon of every new anime episode he missed.

Satan

He starts preparing when he feels the symptoms coming.

He tries a few home remedies he read about, but they rarely work.

When he is actually sick, he will arrange time off work. He has his doctor on the line and already made a run to the pharmacy to get real medicine.

Takes a lot of short naps.

His symptoms are strong, but he knows how to manage them.

Reads most of the day. Only allows the cats into his bed. Sadly, that doesn't include you.

He won't let you come close, he will even try to convince you to not visit at all. Of course, you still show up to make him vegetable soup and refill his honey tea.

When his eyes sting too much to read, you sit at a cautious distance and narrate to him whatever book he wants.

Gets better pretty fast.

He surprises you with homemade dinner as a thank you.

Asmodeus

He panics when he realizes he is going to be sick. Tries to deny it until it's too late.

He hates being sick, more than anyone else. He hates the puffy eyes, the swollen nose, the chapped and broken lips.

The only saving grace is you. He loves the extra attention (like he doesn't get enough already).

He actually has a pretty good immune system and has barely any symptoms.

Doesn't exaggerate his symptoms like Mammon, he just straight up tells you to pamper him.

And how could you say no to that face?

You spend the week holed up in his room because he doesn't want to be seen by anyone but you. Every time he needs you to run an errand for him, he frames it as a mission.

Your most frequent mission is getting more chocolate.

Skincare, skincare, and more skincare. You use around 20 different masks a day.

When he is feeling better he wants to go out and have a proper date.

Now you gotta pamper him because he was sick before! He couldn't fully enjoy his time with you.

Beelzebub

Has an immune system made of steel.

Rarely gets sick, and when he does he just goes on with his normal life. At most, he gets a low fever and has to test for a day.

You can convince him to take a little rest by offering to cook for him. Anything will do, even just instant soup. He just loves the thought of you cooking for him.

He will try to help, do not let him. One thing he does get when sick is dizzy. You don't want him near anything hot.

He is completely fine by the next day. I wish we could say the same about you.

He infected you. Now you're in bed with a high fever and can barely move.

Don't worry tho! He will make you the best chicken soup you've ever tried.

Belphegor

You would think he is another drama queen, but honestly, he doesn't have the energy for that.

He already expects you to spoil him at all times, sick or not.

He gets sick too often to make an event out of it. The winter, the change of seasons, and humidity variations; everything gets him mildly sick.

Of course, that's just a great excuse to take extra naps.

Doesn't care at all about infecting you, he will demand you cuddle him the whole time.

You're the greatest body pillow ever, so of course he needs you to feel better.

A lot sweeter than usual. He will drop the snark and be pure fluff.

Force him to eat some vegetables, he will never get better if he keeps sustaining himself on snacks and candy.

If you're strong enough, you will have to carry him everywhere. His bones hurt too much to walk.

If you're not strong enough, you will build muscle dating him.

Not much will change when he gets better, he'll just have more energy to tease you.

A little bonus Lucifer scene. Because I'm shameless about my favoritism.

"Luci, I think you have to go to bed," you said as you raked your hand up Lucifer's hair. He looked at you from his desk, his eyelids dark and red.

He tried to speak, but his throat hurt and he gave up. He let himself rest against your touch. He slowly shook his head.

"You have a fever, angel," you leaned down to whisper, caressing Lucifer's face and feeling it burn under your hands. "What you're writing makes no sense."

You tried to explain, but Lucifer wasn't hearing anymore. He hugged your lower body and let his head rest against it, looking for comfort. You gave him your arms and helped him stand up, guiding him all the way to his room.

Thanks for reading!

[armins-main-hoe]

Hi i rlly liked ur recent haikyuu manager post!! Could u make a karasuno and nekoma version to that?

Take ur time :D (ignore if don't want to do)

Thank you for liking the post! I'll write up any type request as long as I know who the characters are :)

Here is the link to the previous post.

"Oh no, you've got it all wrong. She does bite."

Karasuno and nekoma version

When you first signed up to be the manager for the boy's volleyball team, you really didn't think much of it. You only signed up because your parents wanted you to go to some sort of after school club.

You didn't like any of the clubs so you decided to be a manager for a sports team. Besides, you didn't think a manager would have to do much since most of the organisation for matches would be done by the teachers and coaches.

So here you are on your first day being introduced to the boys in the team.

Karasuno

(You can decide whether its Yachi or Kiyoko's place your taking)

You honestly didn't know much about volleyball but this was the only club left without a manager so here you are standing before the boys as you are introducing yourself to them.

"Hey, I'm Y/n L/n and I'll be your manager from now on."

Things went well and your parents laid off your back for a good while. Though for the first few practices you really didn't have a single clue with what was going on. You would sit, leaning your back against the wall, on the side and watch the ball go from one side to another while they yelled at each other.

To be honest, you didn't get the hype about the sport but you did your duty as manager as best you could.

The boys were wary of their new manager. Often glancing at her every now and then and she would always be looking at them with the same scary expression.

They knew the girl's scary reputation, everyone did. Why she ever chose to be their manager baffles them even to this day.

When Asahi said 'hello' to you for the first time he was pretty nervous and he ended up sounding a little odd. You thought he was trying to intimidate you or something so you glared at him.

Square up Asahi, Y/n about to swing some arms.

Daichi came in between you both, explaining to you that Asahi doesn't mean any harm. He is a friendly giant, promise.

"Yeah he better be."

But over the next few practices, you realised that Asahi really was the BFG so you apologised to him later.

Nishinoya gets on your nerves everyday. Like everyday. He'll be walking back to class and he'll bump into you on purpose. He'll shout "YO MISS MANAGER!" if he sees you across the hallway or streets. Unlike Asahi, this boy was looking to get beat up. He is the cause for 90% of your headaches. The other 10% goes to Kageyama and Hinata's bickering.

Not even a whole month goes by with you as their manager and you have nearly given each team member a smack or punch.

Over time though, you do get pretty close to the boys and you care about them though you might show it, you wouldn't actually ever say it.

When they have practice matches with other teams from other schools and that other team decides to talk shit about your team, you having a field day swinging your fists like helicopter blades.

Though you don't actually ever get very far with your punches to have a field day before the coach or a teacher stops you.

Oikawa once tried to flirt with you. He failed miserably.

By now you understood the game much better and 100% agreed with the hype about it. Would you ever play the game yourself? With these boys? No.

Why? Well have you seen the force at which they smack those balls? (lmao great wording) Like you smack other balls with that force but as a beginner who hasn't ever physically payed volleyball herself, they'd hand your ass back to you even if they were going easy on you. Help, Nishinoya would be a PAIN to deal with after.

Maybe you'll stick to being a delinquent manager and not a player.

Nekoma

Believe me when I say that Taketora was over to moon when he found out his team now has a manager. He was gushing and blushing about it for days.

He came back down to earth when he saw it was you though.

The infamous Y/n.

Just his luck.

But little did he and the rest of the team know, you actually really liked the sport and knew a lot about it. You would give them lots of pointers and took down notes of their strengths and weaknesses.

You threatened to beat them up if they didn't improve in your given time frame.

Did you ever beat them up? No you didn't, apart from Lev.

Lev has a very cheerful and playful personality and he doesn't even realise when he teases you for your height or whatever else. So he gets beat up with your clipboard one to many times.

Okay now I think about it, I think Kuroo would also be on your 'to hit' list. He is very good at provoking people and you. So he is also hit by your clipboard a few times too.

the poor clipboard is worn out.

You took this sport very seriously. The members often wondered why you didn't decide to play as a member on the girls team instead. When they asked you, you replied with

"It pains me to think that you lot would miss out on an awesome manager like me if i were to be a player instead, also because I know I would just be too good at the sport as a player so I decided to be nice and give you amatures a chance."

"Y/n you sound like Kuroo now..."

It wasn't long before Taketora began bragging about his team's manager to Hinata. Hinata thought you looked too scary and competitive for anyone to even see your feminine looks but the nekoma boys can see it clear as day.

Yaku was the only boy who never got told off by you. In fact, you actually get along with him pretty well, you both have very engaging conversations and he's the only one who receives pointers from you in your calm voice.

You have confiscated Kenma's phone a few times because he would get distracted by playing games on it and the poor boy wouldn't even glare or fight you about it like he would with Kuroo because he knew better.

The first time the boys saw you genuinely smile at practice, a smile that didn't have malicious intent or sarcastic, they were fawning all over you. That was also the first and last time they saw you flustered before being chased around the practice hall by you and your fists.

They'd see that smile again whenever they win a practice match or a real match in a competition and to them it makes victory taste that much sweeter.

Think even Hinata would agree with Taketora that you looked cute with that smile.

The boys sometimes forget that you do get into actual fights outside of school and practice so it often comes as a shock when they see you with some injuries when you go back to practice.

But they wouldn't want any other girl as their manager. They are more than happy to have you!

not proofread :/

But I had fun writing this like I did with the other post so thank you for the request!!

[sabulana]

Once again thinking about the Lost and Found department and the whole Afterlife stuff in Dead Boy Detectives.

It got a little long so...under the cut it goes.

So we know that Lost and Found deal with missing children, but who deals with adults? There must be a separate department for them, right? Why would there only be a department focusing on children when there are plenty adult ghosts hanging about as well?

Why is it called 'Lost and Found' when this usually refers to missing objects? Do the people working there see souls/children as objects? We know the Night Nurse has a certain way of thinking from the way she refers to the boys and how she acts (at least, prior to meeting Kashi) in that they must be 'naughty' or bad in some way because they refuse to cross over, without considering why that might be. She does show signs of beginning to change after meeting Kashi, (and I would have loved to see more of that in S2) but I wonder at everyone else in the department.

And for that matter, what roles are there in the department? We've seen the Night Nurse, the Notary, the assistants who follow the Night Nurse and the Principal (side note, would love to see if the boys and Crystal ever find out that she's Niko) but besides that, what actually goes on? Charles possessing Esther did set off an alert down there, but there must be other ways of tracking lost souls. They're not sitting on their hands, waiting for kids to possess the living, after all.

Also are there any men/male-shaped beings there? I only remember seeing women. And I say '-shaped beings' because we know the Night Nurse isn't human, she just looks like one. Is anyone there human or formerly human? Perhaps they're all trans-dimensional beings, who look human because that is the best way to have humans cooperate when they end up in their department. Kids aren't going to want to go with someone who looks like a monster, after all. And the Night Nurse is definitely a monster.

Also wondering if all the assistants/clerks have names or if they're referred to by role in the same way the Night Nurse etc are. I know the Night Nurse has been referred to as Asa in fics, but this is unconfirmed in canon, and is from the comics featuring the Nightmare Nurse. (I haven't seen Doom Patrol, but I know she was portrayed there, I just don't know specifics).

Next on my mind is the division of labour in L&F. The Night Nurse personally goes to collect the boys, but she's head of the department, right? Why not delegate? Does she go to collect every lost child that Death doesn't collect? Because there seems like there is probably a lot, tbh, given the world population.

How many people work in that department, and how is it all organised? Are there people tracking those that don't move on? If so, how come the Devlin family had to stay stuck in that loop for 30 years? Surely they would have been easy to find since they were in the same place the entire time.

And what about the suicide victims like Shelby, who walk the earth? Are they considered 'lost'? It seems kind of unfair that they have to just wander like that instead of getting an afterlife someplace else.

I have more thoughts but I'm typing this on mobile and gave myself a headache doing it. Anyway, the point of this is... I am about to make up a whole lot of shit about how the Afterlife works for my current WIP.

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 34 here/ Series Masterlist

Chapter 35

Summary : Loki meets the ancient one and she has all the answers for you both.

Warning: 18+,, HUGE Canon divergence (Just me making shit up), timey wimey stuff topics dealing with cheating and falling out of love,

You were at the hospital to see Mrs Geller but you were early so visiting hours weren't open just yet. You missed Loki, you hadn't seen him since the night of your birthday, which to be fair was just two days ago but you felt extremely anxious because of everything that has been happening.

Your mom had called you this morning to tell you that she had hurt her legs while working out and as soon as she had told you that you knew somehow it was connected to you.

Loki had told you that he would find the answers about all these glitches in time but you feared those answers would turn your world upside down again.

All those thoughts running in your head were starting to give you a headache so you got up and made your way to the staff area to grab a cup of coffee, luckily for you it was empty.

"You be like baby who cares, i know you care, bring it over to my place i don't know what you did–" you stopped singing to yourself as you felt a presence behind you so you turned around. It was Doctor Mark. Ofcourse.

"That's for staff members you know that right?" He asked you and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes,

"I know but ..it's just coffee you know?"

He shook his head in response and walked towards the machine to pour one for himself,

"How's she doing now?" You asked him so he sighed deeply as if your mere presence was irksome to him. Why were you meeting all these assholes doctors, at first Strange and now him.

"Same as before, she's stable but there's no improvement" he told you so you nodded

"But she'll be okay right?"

He turned his head to look at you as you asked him again, he seemed soft and sympathetic for once, he also seemed as if he knew she won't recover from this.

"What was that song you were singing just now?" he asked you to change the subject so you chuckled in response..

"It's under the influence by Chris Brown"

"The what?" He looked at you a bit surprised so you told him again, this time enunciating each and every word carefully.

"Don't think i have heard of it" he shrugged as he said that so you crossed your arms.

"That's fine i have not heard all the songs in the universe" you chuckled, however it wasn't from amusement but barely annoyance.

"I operated on that man once..we stayed in touch, that's not his song..I'd have known since he keeps sending me his tracks"

He said in a nonchalant manner so you squinted your eyes.

"Well that's nothing..i ..I work for loki..a literal god"

"Yeah what do you do for him?"

"I'm his assistant "

"If he's such a god why would he need an assistant"

"Because he does .." you walked out of there to save face after that. Why was he so annoying? And what did he mean when he said that song didn't exist? You heard it in the last timeline, that was the song you played as you both got high that night. You quickly took your phone out and searched for the song but you didn't find it anywhere..it didn't exist, he was right.

But how could it be? You remembered it, you heard the song, loki did too, you remembered the lyrics for god's sake.

As you reached home that evening you immediately called Loki.

--

Loki knew in order to find the answers you both were looking for he'd have to go find the sorcerer supreme and he did find her quicker than he had anticipated, maybe she wanted to find him as well..

"Pardon me, I need a moment," he said to the woman in front of her who was the sorcerer supreme before Doctor Strange. You were calling him and he never ignored you call no matter how busy he was or wherever he was so he picked it up immediately

"Darling are you alright" he asked you in a hushed voice,

"Yeah I just need to talk to you about something"

Well he needed to tell you something too but he knew it wouldn't sit right with you, he was being unfair again but he had to do this in order to protect you both.

"I'll be there in an hour okay?" He said to you softly before he hung up and turned his attention towards the woman everyone addressed as the ancient one.

"Is there no other way?"

He asked her in one last desperate attempt to avoid his fate but she only gave him a faint smile in response.

"If there was any other way you wouldn't be here seeking my advice. What you two have done have caused a warp in the current timeline, look around you Loki ..everything is disintegrating because you two chose to deviate from the original timeline and found each other before your time"

"It's's not out fault that your protégé messed up the spell and we both remembered each other"

"Well this time she won't"

As he entered your apartment you were pacing back n forth in your living space with a worried look on your face.

"You remember that song I played when we got high together the first time in the other timeline?"

You asked him hurriedly so he smiled but his eyes were teary, heart breaking at the thought that he was going to lose you again and this time you won't even remember him, he just had to rely on fate to bring you back to him. He cupped your cheeks and kissed you lovingly before he placed his forehead down on yours,

"I love you" he mumbled softly and as giddy as his words made you feel you knew something was wrong, you could just tell by the way he felt around you, it was as if you were connected to him in more than just a physical or emotional way.

"I love you baby .. something is wrong..isn't it?' You asked him so he sighed and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"What were you saying about the song? I remember it clearly" He brought one of his hands to your face to tuck your hair behind your ears, the gesture made you lean into his touch.

"It doesn't exist..not in this universe..why?" You asked him so he sighed.

"Perhaps it hasn't been created yet"

"Then how come we heard it in the last timeline?"

"Because we were living a life that was never meant to happen darling and.." his voice broke as he paused his words for a moment and closed his eyes as if he was too afraid to say whatever he wanted to say,

"What is it?"

"We are still living that way darling..this is not how we were supposed to meet again"

You felt your heart drop as he said that. No, you couldn't go through this again, haven't you both sacrificed enough for the sake of the world?

"So? What's the problem then?"

You asked him as you pulled away from him so he grabbed your arms and pulled you closer again,

"You know what is the problem here sweetheart..you can see it can't you? All around you, things are happening..bad things and they'll keep happening until we fix our mess"

"We fixed it once" your voice choked on your tears as you spoke and it took everything in him to stay strong at the moment, he had to, he had to suffer this time for both of you.

"I know..I know we did, we did our best, it's not our fault that we remembered each other but I have found the sorcerer supreme.. there won't be room for any error this time" as soon as he said that you broke down in tears. This was your worst nightmare coming true.

"No please loki no please..pleaseee nooo" your hiccuped sobs crushed him to the core. Why couldn't he just spend a lifetime with you where he could just keep you happy? He knew he'd have to spend years without you before he was able to fulfill all the promises he had made to you.

"We are meant to be together my love, we are made for each other, I'll find you i promise, when the right time comes I will find you and I'll make you mine..i promise.. and then I won't let go until the end of time, until the end of us"

You stopped crying as he said that, you just felt broken at the moment, you didn't know how you'd survive this all over again.

"Thirty years, I have waited thirty years of my life..all my life to have a moment where I didn't feel so deeply sad or worthless. And then you came into my life out of nowhere and I have never been happier, i have been happier beyond my imagination with you" he cupped your cheeks as you let out broken sobs but you weren't done speaking just yet

"And now you want me to give it all up so I can go on and live miserably for a few more years? You are telling me that i…me..basic stupid me whose existence didn't even matter until I found you is the reason why this universe is falling apart and now I'm responsible to fix it? I'm supposed to sacrifice everything to fix everything all over again?"

He stayed quiet for a moment, he wanted you to vent, to take out your anger, whatever you had said had only pierced his heart deeply, he never wanted you to feel this way again but he had no choice, he never really did, he never got his will..

"Don't you see it, princess? It's all about you, everything has been about you, it had been about us finding each other but we find each other at the wrong time.. always the wrong time" He mumbled softly, things grazed over your cheeks to wipe your tears

You really wished his words had made you feel better but it really didn't, you only felt heartbroken at the thought of losing him, forgetting him completely and moving on with your life as if you weren't loved so immensely by this gorgeous man in front of you.

"And Yes you'll have to sacrifice again to save the universe and you won't even remember doing it but i promise that when I find you again I'll help you remember. The sorcerer supreme- she gave me her word that she'll help us remember everything, every moment that we have spent with each other, she'll help us relish those memories again, this won't be forgotten, our time together won't be forgotten"

You had to let go of him as if you had never fallen head over heels in love for the very first time.

You felt empty and all you wanted to do was halt time from moving somehow and freeze this moment right here so you could spend your whole life like this..a forever with him

"What if you don't find me lo? What if we don't find each other?" you asked between your broken sobs so he picked you up by grabbing onto your hips and walked a few steps to press you against the closet door, if he was going to lose you for years he'd want to engrave this moment in his head.

"We will..we are destined for each other. This is my last attempt to atone for my atrocities but I won't be so kind the next time.. I promise I'll ruin the whole multiverse and everyone in it just to keep you by my side"

Well you wouldn't even stop him.

You moaned as he pressed his lips against your neck and sucked on it while his fingers removed your clothes magically, he was going to fuck you but he was going to take his time, as you felt his cock inside you, you couldn't help but gasp as his girth stretched you out.

He didn't even use a protection this time but you didn't care about it, everything would reverse anyways. Right?

"What if you don't find me attractive when I'm older than this or bigger or ..just different" he chuckled but his teeth gritted and a moan escaped his throat as you clenched your walls around him

"You really think a few wrinkles on your beautiful face or a couple of pounds is going to change the way I feel about you?"

"Mmm i hope not" he didn't stop his thrusts until he had you a quivering mess, as he laid you down on the bed you were just staring at him with a dazed look on your face,

"God I'd never get enough of you" you whispered as your lips lingered over his mouth for a moment before you kissed him passionately.

"I'd never want that either sweetheart " he looked down at you, he can try all the positions in the world with you but this right here was his favorite of all, your body underneath him and eyes staring back at him with such love and adoration.

"Loo" you mumbled softly so he snapped out of his thoughts and leaned down to kiss you before he hummed "I'm scared"

"I know princess, so am I, but we have to do this. I can not lose you, I can't take such a risk" you nodded as he said that but he could still see the saddened look on your face.

"What if something happens and we aren't at the right place at the right time? What would happen to us then?" Your eyes welled up again so he cupped your cheeks and kissed you before he smiled.

"My love, no matter where in the world we are, eventually we will cross each other's path..I'll make sure of it. A moment so absolute where you'd would be eager and desperate to fall so deeply in love with me..just like this, you were made for me darling and I'll find you anywhere, anytime..i promise "

He kissed you tenderly and then he pulled away, a sudden look of confusion flashed across his beautiful features.

"That is strange" he mumbled and it made you giggle.

"What ..kissing me?"

"No..I uhhh ..just this moment we had just now..i have had a dream similar to this in the previous timeline..not same but similar..I always thought it was just us from the future" you hummed as he said that.

"It's a time loop Loki ..i understand it much better now"

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you snuggled him into you, one last time before you'd lose him again, you didn't even know how long you will have to go without him or when you'll see him again..it could be five years or ten or even twenty, you just hoped he'd find you before you're too old to love him the way he deserved, you wanted more time with him, you wanted forever.

Time was disintegrating so both of you had decided to go through the ritual the very next day, however this time you weren't really fixing the timeline but yourselves, the spell that sorcerer supreme was using would keep you in the same timeline but you won't remember the last few months in the way you did now, you'd remember it the way you were supposed to live it and so will everyone else around you.

She wasn't reversing the timeline again, she was barely fixing your time, she was fixing the mess Strange had caused with his spell. You'd wake up in the same time but your life will be completely different. She was going to make you forget each other. Or that's what you thought she was going to do. You didn't know the complete truth, he didn't tell you.

Before you could go through the ritual you wrote an important mail to Mark Johnson and asked him to send it to someone very important immediately. You needed it to be sent before the ritual, you had made sure to use an anonymous mail but you called him at the hospital to ensure that mail would get sent. Afterall he won't really remember you and you definitely won't remember him.

"I'll always love you lo, no matter where I am or even if I don't remember I just know my heart will always belong to you, it will never belong to anyone else"

His eyes teared up as you hugged him tightly, he wished he could have prevented this somehow but he knew he had to do this to protect you and your loved ones.

"And one more thing lo--" you mumbled softly and his brows furrowed

"Time was never wrong between me and you..it was always right..it was always pure and it was beautiful"

Just like last time you all sat down in a circle, he had kept his eyes on you before his world shifted right in front of his eyes, one moment he was there with you with your hands clutching onto his and the next moment he was in a prison cell in Asgard.

The spell had worked and it had worked the way he wanted it to work.

"When the time comes, you'd go see her and then you can make her remember everything you want.. before that you can not intervene no matter what" The ancient one warned him so he nodded, his eyes welled up at the thought but he knew he didn't want to live without your memories, he wanted to keep it, he wanted to remember you so he could make you remember him when the time comes, he was terrified of the pain that he will have to endure in the next few years but he was ready for it.

That's how he was destined to suffer.

A lone tear spilled from his eye as he sat down on the cold floor of the cell wishing that he was sleeping in your arms instead but he knew he couldn't afford that no more, he knew he won't get to see you, touch you or kiss you for the next seven years.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Taglist

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@cosniffee @lotsoflokilove23 @oreo-cream @aesonmae @salvinaa

[artistic-intrxvert]

can you write yandere funtime foxy and funtime freddy headcanons please and thank you?

Hey Bon Bon, we have a new friend!! Fr tho hello!! I got excited when i saw this :D ✨FNAF SISTER LOCATION APPRECIATION✨ I had fun writing this and I hope you enjoy and have an amazing day/night wherever you are!! <3333333

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO YANDERE TOPICS!!

Other TWs: Swearing, Mentions of breaking bones, dark topics, Funtime Freddy, feral animatronics..i think it's pretty self-explanatory-

If I missed a TW, please tell me so i can add it!

✨Funtime Foxy🦊

From what I understand of Funtime Foxy as a general character, he loves to have attention on him

So i would imagine as a Yandere, it would be much, MUCH worse

Wants your attention 24/7 and will not take no as an answer

As for how you got stuck with this little shit? Yeah you were hired to do all of the stuff that needs to be done during the day since your coworker, Mike, has the night shift

Funtime Foxy always enjoyed when you came by to make sure that his voice box and other mechanical parts worked fine because that meant that he got to spend time with you! Not to mention you have have all of your attention on him and him only

Hated it whenever you had to go check out the other animatronics heaven forbid Funtime Freddy

Yeah no Funtime Foxy and Funtime Freddy do not get along...at all

One day at work he doesn't respond to tests for his voice box so that you think it needs replacing, and while you turn around to go grab a new one he hits you over the head and knocks you out

Alright so now you are kidnapped, congratulations! Would you like a trophy? Nevermind, i don't think I have any that say "Congrats for getting kidnapped by a lovesick animatronic fox"

Anyways-

Loves to perform for you! I mean, he loves to talk about being on stage and performances so why not perform for his darling?

What other choice do you have? Escaping? Oh, no you don't

If you even try escaping this mother fucker he's going to know before you can even get to the vent that leads to the elevator

He will then proceed to break both of your legs, not flinching or pausing when your cries of pain echo throughout the underground circus

Will take care of you until you feel better, by then you would have learned your lesson...

"Now now, don't give me that look...why are you crying? Didn't you even think of what was going to happen? Tsk Tsk..i suppose i will put aside my lovely performance just to take care of you..”

🐇Funtime Freddy🎤

If you thought Funtime Foxy was bad, then you clearly don't know fear until you've experienced a Yandere!Funtime Freddy

Now, Freddy by himself is already dangerous enough as it is

But because he has Bon Bon and can literally throw him at people, there is absolutely no hope for you, I’m sorry to say

As for how you got stuck with this psychotic bitch, you are given the ✨Night Shift✨ instead of Michael

And for those of you that know your stuff, Michael has to deal with Freddy and Bon Bon on night 2

So on your second night of working your Night Shift, you got stuck with this motherfucker

Will let you leave the weird back room closet thing he calls his room, but will have the others keep you away from the door

Suuuuper aggressive; if you wanted him to be nice, do everything he says, simple as that

As for entertainment, he will tell jokes and will sometimes play hide and seek with you

Nah never mind he plays hide and seek with you a lot, it gets super terrifying

I can imagine you think your hiding well and then you just hear a whisper in front or behind you saying “Found you…I win”

No hope for you escaping, it’s just you watching him recite programmed jokes over and over and over again

If you try to escape, will let you get to the vent before promptly throwing bon bon at your head, essentially giving you a concussion

He will take care of you though! No need to worry!

If you dare pull something like this again, more headaches and concussions until it gets through your thick skull (his words)

“How many times am I going to have to do this before it gets through that thick fucking skull of yours?! *sigh* It’s fine, I will just have to keep you in my room for another week, not like you can say anything against it..”

-

This is my first time writing yandere stuff so I hope I got this right! I didn’t go back and check to see if these had proper grammar and spelling but it’s fineee-

Hope you have an amazing rest of your day/night!

-artistic-intrxvert

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

With you, everything's okay (USWNT x ADHD Reader)

This is part 3 of the ADHD reader series. It's kinda long, but hope you enjoy!

Part one

Part two

Words: 4.6K

Due to the Adderall shortage I didn't have much of my medication, which was not great. I was supposed to get a refill a couple of days ago, but I wasn't able to yet. It could be a few days, weeks or months until I got more. Given what's been on the news, it was something I had anticipated so I had a few days worth for when I really needed it. I had a doctors appointment next week to try figure out a different medication, but I was almost tempted to just not do it. When I first got medication for my ADHD it was a long process of dose adjustments, and dealing with side effects. It was mentally and physically draining. It was something I didn't really want to go through again. The headaches and sleepless nights when I didn't take it were bad enough. Though I didn't know how I would cope long term without it. 

We had just started another month long camp which made this whole thing just a bit more difficult. Ally wasn't with me and I wasn't sure if or when she would be able to visit. For now I was trying to distract myself. I had spent hours so far scouring the internet and going from jeweler to jeweler with Ali trying to find the perfect ring for Ally. None of them were good enough or matched who Ally was. She didn't like fancy rings with big stones or really any stones. She preferred more plain, flush bands with maybe a tiny stone. Ally deserved more than a plain band though. I just had to find the perfect one. 

For the third or maybe fourth time I had dragged Ali out shopping with me. It had probably been hours and I still hadn't found anything that was right. I was starting to get frustrated when Ali literally dragged me away from the mall to the park across the road. 

"You need to take a break."

"But-"

"No, you're getting frustrated and irritable so we're taking a break."

My eyes started to water as I hid my face in my hands, "I just want to find the ring she deserves Ali."

Ali sat down beside me, pulling me into her side, "I know and we will. It'll just take some time, it's only been a few weeks since you got engaged. Have you looked into custom design rings?"

I had gotten Ally a cheap ring in the mean time, but I hated that she had to wait for a proper one. "I didn't even think of that."

We went back to the hotel after getting lunch. Since Ali mentioned it, I was itching to look into designer rings. I had briefly on my phone, but Ali quickly stopped me so I would actually eat. It was a free day so I locked myself in my room quickly going down the rabbit hole of custom rings. I spent hours comparing different companies and small businesses, calling or emailing them to figure out more around pricing and what type of designs they could do. I ended up finding a small business that could get it done in about 2-3 weeks once the design was decided on. 

The design was the next thing I got lost in. I wanted to get it done as soon as possible so Ally could finally get the ring to go with the proposal. There were a couple of ideas that I was playing around with, but it was hard to choose just one. I don't know how long it had been when my phone rang breaking me out of my fixation. Of course it was a facetime from Ally, her ringtone always brought me back to reality. 

Hey baby

Hi

What's got you so distracted that you didn't even look at me? I miss my beautiful smile

I laughed, quickly glancing at her, involuntary smile stretching across my face,Nothing, sorry

Right, I'll pretend I believe you. Did you eat?

It's not dinner yet

Baby, it's 9pm where you are.

No it's no- Oh shit, I got distracted

Ally giggled, the sound making my heart skip a beat. I wished she was here. I figured, Ali is going to bring you something since I know you won't leave whatever it is you're doing.

Thank you Al. Can I ask you something?

Anything

If you had to pick one thing from our relationship, date, holiday, whatever really, what's your favourite thing?

That's a hard one. Do you remember our snowboarding trip?

Our first trip together was a snow boarding trip. We hadn't been together very long and we ended up getting snowed in with no power for 2 nights. All we could do was read, cuddle, play board games, talk and try to keep the fire going. Ally and I had connected from the start, but that trip was a sort of turning point in our relationship. We got to know each other on a deeper level, telling each other all the intimate and deep parts of ourselves. That was when I told her about my adhd, my family, how they acted and how I felt growing up. 

It was the first time I ever cried in front of her. There had been a sense of shame wash over me. I wasn't one to cry in front of people, it had been ingrained in me since I was young. Ally had just held me tightly, whispering reassurances then making me laugh harder then I had in a long time. She had never judged me about anything. Sure, occasionally she would tell me I was being stupid, but she always had my back.

Where's that head of yours baby?

Sorry, I was just thinking back to that trip. It was a disaster, but I loved that trip.

Me too. I think that's my favourite

There was a knock on the door before I could reply. My stomach growled when I saw the food Ali was holding. I hadn't realised how hungry I actually was. In all honesty, I probably wouldn't have eaten if Ali hadn't shown up with food,  "Thank you Ali."

"You're welcome. I'm just glad someone could get through to you. We've all been texting and calling you, even knocked on the door. We figured you were asleep or completely zoned out."

"You got Ally to call me?"

"She was already going to. I just asked if she had heard from you. I didn't want to wake you up if you were asleep, I know the last couple of days have been hard."

"I appreciate that. I got stuck into that thing we were talking about. I'll show you later."

Ally and I continued to talk while I kept working on the design and she started to fall asleep. I stayed on the phone with her even after she fell asleep. We had always slept on facetime together when we were apart. It made us feel closer when we couldn't be. 

By time 4am rolled around I had finally finished the design idea. I had done a rough sketch, but also described my idea so the person could adjust if needed to what they could do. My design idea was mountains that wrapped around the entire band. A textured sky to resemble a snowy day with a small set diamond to look like the moon and hopefully someway to make the mountains look like it was covered in snow. I didn't know if it was completely possible, but even something remotely like that would be okay. I quickly sent it off before I could overthink and change my mind. I was very glad that we had another day off tomorrow. 

---

"Ally!" I ran, jumping in her arms and hugging her tightly. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I would surprise you again."

"Not that I don't love that you're here, but aren't you busy at work?"

"I am, but I can work remotely now."

"You can? Wait, you got the promotion?" Ally nodded, huge smile on her face as I picked her up and spun her around, kissing her hard. "Oh my god, this is amazing. You are amazing. I am so fucking proud of you Ally."

The girls wandered into the lobby, greeting Ally with quick hugs, "Guys! Ally got the promotion!"

Some of the girls practically jumped on Ally telling her how proud they were. They had even dragged her out for dinner that night saying that we had to celebrate her achievement. Some even going as far as doing speeches. I loved how much they adored Ally, how they had welcomed her into the team without hesitation. 

We were lying in bed that night, wrapped up in each other. I brushed a piece of hair out of her face before kissing her softly, "I really am so proud of you Ally. You're amazing. You've worked so hard for this, you deserve this."

"Thank you Y/n. I couldn't have done it without your love and constant support even if my job bores you."

"Yeah well, for you I will go through all the boring shit in life a million times over." I kissed her softly before sighing, "I'm sorry Al."

Ally's forehead creased as her eyebrows drew together, "What are you apologising for?"

"I'm sorry that it's been weeks since I proposed and I haven't gotten you a proper ring yet. You deserve the perfect ring and I'm sorry you don't have it yet."

She smiled softly, cupping my cheek and making me look at her, "Do you remember what I said when you asked me to marry you?" I shook my head. All I remembered was her saying yes and being very excited. "I told you that I don't care about a ring and I meant it. If this was the only ring you got me, I wouldn't care. All I care about is being with you okay?"

"I love you Ally so fucking much. I just- Your ring is on the way, I just don't know when it'll get here."

"It's okay, I already know I'll love it."

---

Arms wrapped around me from behind, kisses being placed along my jaw. I turned my head, connecting our lips in a long kiss as I pulled her round to my lap. Ally squealed against my lips, giving me the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. A breathy moan slipped from Ally as our tongues met. After a couple of seconds, Ally's fingers dug into my shirt as she pushed me away, "We're in the meal room."

"That can be changed besides no one else is here."

"I have a meeting in half an hour so stop being a horndog and show me what had you so focused."

"You can't blame me, you know what your work clothes do to me." 

I had been looking at different wedding themes on Pinterest, but I was struggling to find ones that might actually suit Ally and I. We were very simple people, we didn't need anything fancy to be happy. We weren't traditional either. It was something we used to make jokes about, how we would go the complete opposite way, have some random colour instead of white, casual clothes and a barbeque. Just one big party. I didn't know what we were actually going to do. When we talked about it, it was just an idea, far off in the future. Now it was a reality and I was so excited to marry Ally. I knew we actually had to talk about when we wanted to do it, but I couldn't wait to marry her. 

I turned my computer so Ally could see, "Anyway, I'm looking at wedding ideas. We should talk about when we want to do it, soon, sooner, soonish, far away, somewhere in the middle. I mean, I'm really fucking excited to marry you, but if you wan-"

"Okay baby, take a breath. You just named three times that are pretty much the same and aren't actually times."

"Sorry, I'm just excited. You know I never thought I would want to get married, let alone be this excited about it."

Ally wrapped her arms around me, kissing my temple, "I know Y/n/n. Don't apologise for being excited, I never meant to make it sound like a bad thing. Trust me, I can't wait to marry you and I love that you are excited to marry me, I would be kind of mad if you weren't."

I giggled, nuzzling my nose against her neck, "So what do you think?"

"Well, I think the sooner the better."

"Exactly what I was thinking. The more I look, the more I'm convinced on a court house wedding. It's such a process."

"A court house wedding would be a lot easier."

"No! you can't have a court house wedding," Kelley yelled making us jump and me glare at her. 

---

Today was the worst day yet without my meds. I was exhausted, my head hurt, I was irritable beyond belief, every little sound or touch felt a hundred times worse and I couldn't focus on anything. There had been a very small handful of times in our relationship that I couldn't handle Ally's touch, this was one of those times. It always made me feel like shit, guilty that my own girlfriend couldn't even touch me. That didn't help me feel any better. Ally was always so understanding about it all, reassuring me that it was okay and dealing with my over touching afterwards to make up for it. Today was no different, Ally had been amazing, giving me space, reassuring me.

Ally had brought me lunch so I wouldn't have to be around the team. We were sitting on the floor in silence after eating. Normally, just being near Ally would help but everything was starting to get too overwhelming. I felt like I was about to explode, like any second I would break. And I did. I didn't mean for it to happen, things just boiled over. Ally suggested we go for a walk, she knew it would help, so did I but I couldn't bring myself to leave the room. I ended up snapping at her.

"Come on Y/n/n, you know it'll help."

"Just give it a rest! I don't need you pestering me, I'm not a child, I'm an adult, I can handle this myself. Just back off."

Ally just looked at me for a second before getting up and walking out. I buried my hands in my hair, pulling slightly. Maybe it wasn't the most healthy thing, but it helped ground me. Well normally it would. It helped enough to snap me out of it and realised I fucked up, "Fuck."

Tears fell before I could stop them as I curled up in a ball and cried. I had never snapped at Ally like that before. Sure we had fights occasionally, but there was never yelling. I cried and sobbed, letting everything from the last week or so out. Being off my meds was exhausting, physically but mostly mentally. My mind was almost constantly a mess. It took me back to how I felt growing up. Like I was annoying, a burden, stupid. That the people around me only put up with me because they had to. Ally included. 

Once the tears finally stopped, I just lay there staring at the celling. It's like I was stuck there, I knew I had to go find Ally, but I couldn't move. The door opened then I felt someone sit down next to me. I knew it wasn't Ally, she always wore a perfume that I would recoganise instantly. 

"What's going on Y/n/n?" Christens soft voice filled the silence.

"It's too much. I-I don't know if I can handle this. I'm just a burden to everyone around me. I fucked up, Ally hates me. It's just too much Chris."

"Y/n Y/l/n you are not a burden. I know things are hard without your medication, but that does not mean you are a burden. We love you, we are here for you okay? I know it's hard, I know it feels overwhelming, but we've got you. We've always got you Y/n. Ally could never hate you, she loves you. Did something happen with her?"

"I fucked up. I snapped at her when she was just trying to help. I've never done anything like that before. I fucked up Chris," My voice cracked, tears somehow welling up again. 

Christen pulled me into her. I didn't fight it, instead gripping her shirt tightly as sobbed wracked through me again. She rubbed my back, whispering quiet reassurances. Eventually Christen moved, being replaced by someone else who held me tight, hand slipping under my shirt and drawing patterns along my skin. Perfume overtook my senses, that sweet perfume I knew so well. I sobbed harder, gripping her shirt as if my life depended on it. In a way it did. I couldn't imagine my life without Ally in it. She understood me in a way no one else did, she knew how to calm me down, how to support me, how to make me laugh. Most importantly she loved me despite my flaws. 

"I'm sorry Ally, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, I'm so-"

"Shhh, it's okay, I've got you baby, I've got you."

It took a while, but eventually the tears stopped. I sat up, moving away from Ally to sit against the bed. I felt myself go numb. Over the years, it had become my way to protect my self when things, especially emotions got too much. It hadn't happened in a while. Things were never too much when Ally was around, it was manageable. Right now I didn't know where we stood and I was scared.  

I felt two warm hands cup my cheeks and soft lips press against my forehead, "Don't do that. Don't blank out on me. Come back to me."

"W-what are you doing here?"

"Chris texted, she was worried about you, said you needed me."

"You came even after I said what I did."

Ally laced her fingers with mine, "Of course I did. While I didn't appreciate what happened, I know you didn't mean it. Besides, you needed me. I will always be there for you when you need me."

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, I was just so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can do this Al. It's just so much."

She pulled me up, wrapping me tightly in her arms then guiding me so we were cuddled in bed, "I know it's hard baby, I know it's frustrating, but we've got this. I'm right here by your side every step of the way, I'm not going anywhere."

"We're okay?"

"We're okay baby. You owe me a massage though, when you're feeling better to make up for this."

I chuckled, cuddling into her side, my eyes getting heavy, "Deal. I love you Al."

"I love you Y/n. Try and get some sleep. I'm finished work for the day. Chris is going to bring dinner for us a bit later."

---

The ring had just arrived at the hotel and I was scared to open it. I ran straight up to Ali, pulling her away much to the confusion of Ally and everyone else. I shoved the package at her, making her stumble back a bit.

"Calm down a bit Y/n/n. What is it?"

"The ring. Can you open it? I'm kinda scared."

Ali carefully opened the package then the box. I was way more nervous than I expected to be. I had spent so long trying to find the perfect ring, I guess I was worried this wouldn't be it, that it wasn't anything close to what I was hoping for.

"This is beautiful Y/n. It's perfect."

I slowly took the box from Ali, freezing when I saw it. It was exactly what I had envisioned. Seeing the ring felt like a weight had been lifted. After spending so much time searching, I finally had the ring Ally deserved. Thoughts of her not liking it tried to creep in, but I managed to push them away. I knew Ally would like it. "It's exactly what I wanted. It came out way better than I expected."

"So are you just going to give it to her? Or do another proposal?"

"I'm not sure. I was kind of thinking about proposing again just for the fun of it. The original proposal wasn't that special."

"I think you'll find to Ally it was. Even if it wasn't extravagant, it was just the two of you. Personal and intimate." 

"Probably. Let's be honest, I just want to spoil her. Can you hold onto this for me? I'm terrified of losing it."

Ali wrapped her arm around me, trying not to laugh, "Of course I will. Let me know if you need help planning it. Let's get back before they start to question it."

Ally was going to say yes. Knowing that let the excitement bubble up instead of the nerves. I was incredibly excited to propose to her, the plan was already coming together in my mind. I didn't want to wait, all going well it was going to happen tonight. 

Once we got back, I beelined to Ally, "I have two questions. First, will you go on a date with me tonight? Second, do you want to go make out?"

"Yes and definitely yes."

---

Since we started dating, picnics were a big part of our relationship. We both had jobs that meant we dealt with a lot of people. Picnics were the way we escaped reality and people without being inside or around our flat mates at the time. I figured there was no better place to propose then on a picnic. 

Because our date was last minute and we had practice today, I hadn't had enough time to set up the picnic. Ali had agreed to set up the picnic while I took Ally bowling. She loved bowling and it gave time to set everything up. Ally had won by a lot which was not a surprise, I sucked at bowling. Of course she had gloated about it, but with the proud smile she wore, I couldn't even be annoyed. 

Before we left, I had texted Ali to make sure everything was set up so we didn't get there too early. I was driving when the reply came in. Ally went to check like normal, but I quickly stopped her, much to her confusion. 

"You can't check that one, it'll ruin the surprise." I pulled over checking the message, making sure to hide it from Ally. Thankfully she didn't question it. 

Ali: Food took longer then planned, just picked it up, need 10 minutes to finish everything. Also found the perfect place to film it.

Ally was wearing a grey sweater, white blouse underneath with the collar showing and black jeans. I don't know what it was, but I found her incredibly attractive when she wore stuff like that. It was mostly for work which is why I got kicked out when she was working. I couldn't keep my hands to myself. "So we need to kill 10 minutes. You look incredibly beautiful so lets make out." 

"Yeah okay."

Ali had set up a blanket on the beach with candles, rose petals and a small speaker for music. Instead of doing the classic picnic foods, I got Ali to pick up some Thai food because it was Ally's favourite and another one of our traditions. 

I watched Ally's eyes light up as we approached the picnic, "Baby, this is beautiful. How did you set this up?"

"I may have gotten Ali to help set it up. You like it?"

"You don't even have to ask, I love everything you do. This is perfect baby. Is that Thai? I'm starving."

I had planned to do the proposal first for 3 reasons. I was terrified of losing the ring, it was likely I would get more nervous as time went on and Ali was waiting to film it. "It is, you need to wait a minute before we eat."

I found the ring before taking Ally's hand, "Growing up I never thought I would find someone who loved me so unconditionally, who loved me as I was. Who would stick by me and support me through everything. But I did. I found you and I never want to lose you. I want you, no I need you by my side for the rest of my life. I love you Ally, more than you will ever know. I know you've already said yes, but I wanted to do this properly." I sunk down on one knee, opening the box, "Will you marry me Ally?"

"Yes, a million times yes." I easily slipped the ring onto her finger watching her eyes widen as she looked at the ring closer. "Holy shit Y/n, this is amazing. Where did you find it?"

"I designed it. It's based on the snowboarding trip."

"Just when I thought I couldn't love you more, you prove me wrong. You are amazing baby. Words can't describe how much I love this. I want this to be my wedding ring as well. It's too perfect to just be an engagement ring. Is that allowed?"

"We can do whatever we want. Ali filmed that by the way, I wanted it for our memories." 

---

Ally and I were looking at wedding ideas together for the first time. At first I was slightly worried that we weren't going to be on the same page, that it might cause fights. I had seen it happen to couples before. I quickly realised that it was a pointless worry, we were on the same page about everything so far. We wanted simple, non-traditional. 

We had started looking at things we would need for the wedding, such as the venue and catering. Everything we had looked at so far was expensive, which I guess wasn't that much of a surprise, everyone always says weddings are expensive. 

I sighed, pushing the laptop away and turning to Ally, "Why are weddings so expensive? Like I know we can afford it, but it just seems like a waste."

"I know, it's just one day, we could use that money towards our honeymoon or a house."

I straddled Ally, hiding my face against her shoulder. As much as I loved planning things, without my meds, even that was slightly overwhelming after a bit of time. There were so many options and things to consider, "We could do a backyard wedding. Ali and Ash might let us use their place if we asked nice enough."

"Of course we would." I jumped, turning around to find them both standing there. 

"I swear the word wedding is like a magnet for all of you. Every time it's mentioned, someone shows up."

"Well you guys keep talking about it in places where there's a high likely hood of someone being around. Anyway, we would love to have your wedding at our place if that's what you wanted."

Reluctantly, I climbed off Ally, moving to stand by Ali and Ash, "You would really do that for us?"

Ali smiled softly, pulling me in for a hug, "Of course we will kiddo. You're family. You're family too Ally."

I noticed Ally trying to hide her smile. No matter how much they showed they loved her or treated her like part of the team, I still got the same warm, almost ecstatic feeling. To me the team was family. The fact that they saw Ally as family was really important to me. "We're not planning anything over the top or even overly traditional, just simple with friends and family."

"Are your parents going to be there?" Ashlyn tried to hide the annoyance in her voice when mentioning my parents, but it didn't work. I wasn't surprised by it, when they found out what it was like for me growing up, they were pissed. 

I had opened up to them about a lot of things, especially Ali, but besides vague information about how they treated me, my parents never really came up. "No, I um cut them off about 3 years ago. They were just destroying my mental health. Ally's parents will be there though, they pretty much took me in."

"They like you more than me sometimes."

"Well we can't wait to meet them."

[heliocentricsunflower]

In your arms

needed some levihan comfort hehe

Words: 886

_________

It was one of those days that Hange Zoë could just not take it. They had experience in not sleeping for days, sure, but this is different. Firstly, they never had to deal with public opinion, secondly, they weren't burnt out, and thirdly, their self confidence has taken a major hit. Truly, why were they Erwin's successor? They always knew they could never amount to the greatest, but they honestly just feel like the most incompetent commander.

At least they know not to run away from responsibility; their next—and best—choice for the succeeding commander is only twenty. No way they're letting someone that young deal with this. No matter how painful their headache right now is. No matter how blurry their vision is becoming despite having their glasses on; they have to keep pushing forward, even if they start losing their sanity.

It's cold, but putting their coat on would be a hassle, and fuck— they just want to tear down their office. But alas, a knock on the door. One they seem to be familiar with.

Levi, they assume.

"Come in," they instruct, fixing their posture.

Indeed. it's the Captain, and he's brought... tea?

"Thought you might need it. Tea and some company," he says with a sigh, and a desolate-as-ever espression, gently kicking the door closed and locking it.

"Shouldn't you sleep too? I know you're an insomniac, but you should still try," they slump onto their desk, laying on their arms.

"Exactly. I'm the insomniac here. You aren't. Sleep."

"Can't."

"Deal with it tomorrow."

"I can't."

"You can. Go to bed, Glasses."

"I fucking can't, Levi. If I keep delaying the shit I have to do—which I've been doing a fucking lot lately—they're gonna keep piling and piling and, I don't know if you've noticed, but the entire fucking world wants to fucking kill every person in this island, and I can't think of a fucking solution, and our best option is to fucking euthanize ourselves. I—I can't—I can't fucking—"

With every syllable, their heart beats faster; with every word, their hearing gets hazier; with every sentence, breathing gets a little harder.

Levi knows Hange. He knows when they're about to break. And so, he knows how to calm them down.

So he walks towards them. He places the tea on their desk, takes off his coat, places it around them, before finally hugging them and resting his cheek on their shoulder.

That's when he felt tears on Hange's face.

"I'm—I'm so sorry..." they whisper.

"I know you're tired too—I'm sorry... for lashing out like that," they manage to hiccup between labored breaths.

"Don't... apologize. You're going through a lot. I know. "

Hange can feel it. The sting in their eyes. Levi too.

"You... don't have to..."

"You want me to."

"Still—"

"I want to stay."

"But—"

"Like how you stayed with me."

They know what he's talking about.

Oh, how he longs for those lost nights.

Those times were, still hard of course, but much simpler. He misses when Hange would still laugh and joke about dire situations to lighten things up. He misses when they would knock at his door at nights after every comrades' deaths to check up on him. When they would comfort him; when they kept him safe in their arms; when the two of them would talk until the sun rose; when they simply kept each other company through the night; when they fell asleep on the floor and he carried them to sleep on his bed.

He never expected to think this, but he wishes for the time when titans were just that: titans.

The Commander turns sideways on their chair and leans on Levi's body. They're gripping on the sleeve of his polo; he takes the opportunity to lead them to sit on the floor.

They never make a sound when they cry. Or at least, they try not to. This time, they're too tired to do anything but let their tears fall.

"Wanna drink?" Levi brings attention to the cup. They nod slowly.

The warmth of the tea against their lips provides familiar comfort. Levi really does make good tea, they think, but they can't seem to recall if they've tasted this before.

"Chamomile. The one we tried when we went to Marley."

"It's good..."

"Is that so?"

The Commander lowers the cup and exhales.

"You gonna do anything next morning?" they ask him, gently grabbing one of his hands.

"Nothing too important."

They turn to look at his eyes, as if asking him to stay.

"I'll be right here," he places an arm around them.

They feel a tug in their heart and burries their face in his shoulder. They wonder if he feels the smile on their face as they drift swiftly to sleep.

Levi gains a sense of relief and carries the sleeping Hange to his quarters. Carefully, he places them on his bed and removes their glasses and eyepatch. He takes a moment to look at them.

Despite their restful state, stress is still evident on Hange's face; Levi slowly lies next to them and gives a tender kiss on their forehead. Their face seems to have relaxed. He tucks away the hair bothering their cheeks.

"Goodnight, Hange." he lays next to them.

And for tonight, they're safe in his arms.

[aydaptic]

I imagine that being a Gavin fan when the dbh fandom was in its early stages must have been exhausting. I've been scrolling through dbh blogs, just to catch up on what I've missed out on and occasionally I'll come across posts like "if you like Gavin you're [insert stupid insult here]" or "Gavin is the personification of evil and if you even watch a single scene with him in it without feeling hatred, then you're [insert another stupid insult here]"

Following you, I've realised that Gavin is honestly not a bad guy. Yeah, he's not the most positive/friendly guy in the world but that doesn't make him evil. The only time we've seen him in a bad light is when he's interacting with something he does not like ex. androids, hank (both of which he has valid reasons for not liking). When he's not with either of them, he's pretty alright. Even Neil has said that if you met Gavin in a bar or something, he, at the very least, would be polite to you.

I know it's been said before but people can dislike Gavin (everyone is entitled to disliking who they want) but looking back, I believe that the hatred he received was so unnecessary.

If any of those people could have just looked beyond "he hurt my fave/disliking him for moral points", they would have seen that too.

This is why I'm happy that reed900 became so popular. Not only because it showed that there were people who wanted to delve deeper into Gavin's character but it also created a huge headache for everyone who hated him.

As someone who has been a Gav fan since launch day -- May 25th, 2018 -- I can confirm that it was indeed exhausting. I admit I'm biased, though. It was worse for me for reasons I'll get into down below.

There's still a lot of undeserved vitriol towards him posted on the regular, but my having muted 90% of the fandom makes it not nearly as noticeable. Ofc I can't avoid them all bc the amount of shit he gets always slips through the net. His haters are that obsessed with him (...which is not only pathetic but hilarious as well.)

Several ppl have told me that I was the one who made them see the layers involved when it comes to Gav. Hearing that warms my heart. It makes me feel like I'm doing something useful in this fandom.

As for my personal bias, I've been told multiple times by multiple ppl that I remind them of Gav. It made me realize that's one of the main reasons why I defend the guy. If you don't like Gav, you wouldn't like me, so I -- in the beginning -- took the hatred for him personally. Thus it was extra exhausting to have negativity constantly aimed at me (in theory) as an individual.

I feel the same way he does. I'm pissed at Hank and wouldn't stay quiet knowing that he gets special treatment from Fowler. I dislike Con and would try to stop him in The Interrogation/Last Chance, Connor. I dislike AI. I wouldn't believe androids were alive. I'm terrified of losing my livelihood, etc. I could make a list with dozens of things he and I have in common (even the smallest/unusual things like being unable to wink with one eye bc I can't do that either, lol.)

I share your amusement on his haters having to deal with not only Gav's popularity, but also Reed900. I'd say that's karma.

[gayf1hoe]

Part 3

We are currently in some bar Max found on Google which he said had, and I quote “good enough reviews' ' the air is thick with the smell of sweat and alcohol. Throughout the night I basically clung to Max and George who were more than inebriated, I on the other hand have only had one drink of water, not wanting to jump on the bandwagon of getting drunk. Throughout the evening I could feel Charles' death staring at me and I could tell he was still more than pissed at me, however I remain resolute in not breaking character.

As all the drivers who attended were on the dance floor, Charles approached me with my only thought being “oh shit”, he nonchalantly collapsed in the seat next to me as he did so he spoke, “How come you aren't drinking like the out of control nutter you are?” I can tell he is trying to provoke me but I know freaking out is what he wants, but I also know if I do loose it there literally will be ‘a murder on the dance floor’, so I simply reply “drinking is for those who need an artificial catalyst for having fun, I can have fun without downing that shit”. He gives me a blank stare clearly not expecting that response. As he does so, it sends a weird feeling through my body, not one I had ever experienced before.

After 10 minutes of awkward silence, I got up to leave when Charles finally piped up and said “where are you going?” I simply say “I have a headache so I'm going back to the hotel” he pulls a slightly disappointed face but I assume it's him trying to look sympathetic.

As I leave the Bar I text max to make sure he doesn't wait for me:

-----

Me: Hey Max, I left early and have gone back to the hotel. Enjoy the rest of your night. :)

-----

As I leave the club I walk down the streets I am totally zoned out listening to my music when I bump into someone and knock them over. I immediately stop in my tracks and help the person up when I realise who it is.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry Mick I didn't see you there.” I say completely out of breath and flustered

“Nah no worries it's fine” he says charmingly

“So I heard you were here to watch the GP, I have honestly missed you so much” the words now just flowing out of my mouth

We chat away in the dimly lit street which now had rain slowly pouring down, typical England, when Mick says “do you want to go and get a coffee or tea at the local café” whilst I stand there contemplating whether or not I should go for a drink with my ex-boyfriend, I blurt out a simple “sure” and think ‘What's the worst that can happen”.

Little did I know a fan had seen us and taken a photo and soon an F1 page had a post with the caption

"M/N L/N was seen with his ex boyfriend Mick Schumacher, could we see a return of the couple?"

Whilst me and Mick are sitting at the table we are discussing how the season is going: when he comes out with "So you and Leclerc hey, what's the deal there?" he asks interrogatively I huff at the question, "there's nothing to comment on he's rude, egotistical, can't take criticism and lacks basic common courtesy and he's in denial" my response is harsh but Mick can tell my harshness isn't directed at him. "Funnily enough isn't that what you said about me when we raced together", "well yes, but at least you were good looking" I replied but Mick adds "and you think Charles is ugly?" The thing is I want to answer that question but I don't even know the answer myself. It's no secret that people think Charles is gorgeous but I am still yet to make up my mind, I mean I have only known him for less than a month, and he's already pissed me off. So instead of answering the question I simply say "he's....anyway how's things with you".

As the evening comes to an end I decide to head to my hotel and as me and Mick part ways we give each other an embracing hug and in that moment I forget how much I have missed this and how much I have missed him. To give context, Mick and I broke up because he moved to F1 and I was stuck in F2 and the distance and time apart was not good for our relationship so we came to the mutual agreement to stay just friends however we hadn't really spoken since then apart from the odd ‘Happy Birthday’ text.

It's now the next morning and I wake up to some very angry texts from my media manager Luca,

-----

Luca: ARE YOU STUPID? ARE YOU TRYING TO END YOUR CAREER ALREADY?? YOU WERE SEEN WITH MICK, ARE YOU AWARE OF THE DRAMA YOU HANGING AROUND WITH YOUR EX WILL CAUSE.

You need to come in for a media meeting at 10:20.

--------

I get dressed throwing on a pair of black jeans and a team T-Shirt, as I arrived at the team media office I was given some indescribable looks from the employees. I reach the conference room where I find Toto, George and Luca. They are all looking at me and whilst I'm early it looks like they have been sitting there set in stone for ages. I semi waddle towards and seat adjacent to Toto, when he pipes up:

“We have brought you to our team for what you can offer on the track, you have an amazing talent, you have made history not only with your racing but with your openness about your sexuality . We sincerely appreciate what you do for us however you have been with us for only one race and have caused a media catastrophe, you were seen hanging out with your ex but he's not any ex he's Mick Schumacher. The drama doesn't arrive from the fact you are both men this is a race track not a reality TV set we don't bring relationships to the track, what you do outside reflects us as a team, so please accept this as your formal warning, do not, and I mean do not, cause anymore drama”

As the meeting goes on for what feels like an eternity I am lectured on the importance of PR and media and my mind remains unchanged, the media are dicks and don't deserve my kindness, if I have any.

So like a child who hasn't learned their lesson, I go back to my hotel and text Mick

-------

Me: Hey Mick, I have a free ticket for Monaco and my parents can't make it so I was wondering if you wanted to come?

Mick: Hey thanks for the offer. I would love to go. It would feel great to be in the paddock again.

--------

I really never learn my lesson, but hey life is more fun that way.

[tomatoswup]

Lunch Time!

summary: Since you didn't get McDonald's the last time, maybe you should get some for Lunch! You sure are hungry!

<Previous

warnings/tags: knives/nai jumpscare, another crack!drabble hehe, they really gonna put yall to work,,,you don'T EVEN WORK THERE,, but no warnings just plucking chickens :P, humor,

A/N: sorry for barely any updates, i just got sick again :,D am suffering,,,anyways is this another mcdonalds AU fic? YES,,, poor reader, they really goin through it naww,,,hehehe enjoy~

Work was a tiring, dreadful thing.

Thats what you concluded as you twirled and spun around in your office chair. How long have you been here now? 5 Hours now?

The rings of phones going off, the gossiping of co-workers around your cubicle, and the bright computer screen honestly just made the side of your head pound. The growl of your stomach making you feel somewhat a bit worse as the rushed small breakfast of the morning wasn't as filling as you would've wanted it to be.

What time was it anyway?

Planting your feet on the ground, stopping the spinning chair, you peaked up at the lone analog clock on the monotoned colored wall.

12:00 PM

Oh! How'd you miss that? It was lunch!

Without a seconds thought with the urge to get the fuck outta the place, you got up and grabbed your keys. Maybe a good meal could clear your headache. Thinking about it, you haven't visit that odd McDonalds in a while, it wouldn't hurt to visit again...

Right?

It didn't take long to find yourself in that same McDonald's, swinging the door open and cautiously walking in to avoid an airborne bun or sausage.

Maybe the nice guy from last time could take your order! What's his name? Bash?..Flash?...Vash, Vash! That was it!

"Hi-" Looking up as you took your wallet out of your bag, you couldn't help but freeze in place.

Oh shit

Instead of the kind-hearted poor worker you had expected, the scary, built...Actually pretty built dude who pummeled the shit out of that customer from that morning stood there. They did kind of look alike though.. Twins?

He shot you a stank look, tilting his head to the side.

Nope.

"Oh, uh..." You gaped out.

Peeping at the name tag on his...why was his chest that plump- SORRY IM SORRY WHAT WAS HIS NAME?

Squinting, you made out the name "Nai" before your thoughts were interrupted by cough.

"So you gonna order or keeping staring at me?" Your cheeks flushed as you took out your wallet “Oh uh yeah, sorry, can I get a number 2-"

"We don't have that."

...Okay? This was a McDonald's right? They really don’t have any quarter-pounders in the back?

Wasn't that their most common meal item?

"Oh? Really? I didn't think you guys would run out of-" Nai whipped his finger up to the clock on the wall nearby "You came at a shitty time, everyone working comes in and orders shit. So pick again."

A bit stunned, you rubbed your hands together out of nervousness before looking back up at the menu...What? Would you wanna get your ass beat by a McDonald's worker?

"Then can I get a 10 piece chicken nugget mea-"

"We don't have that either."

MF HUH???

HOW THE HELL DO THEY NOT HAVE ANY CHICKEN NUGGETS?!

"Chicken nuggets? Ya'll really don't have chicken nuggets?" You exasperated.

"Office party. Ordered 4 orders of our 50 chicken nugget deal, cleared our storage right up. Look, are you gonna order something we have or what?"

HOW WERE YOU SUPPOSE TO KNOW WHAT THEY HAD AND DIDN'T HAVE?!

"Or if you really want nuggets, how about you pluck the chicken in the back?" He deadpanned, leaning on the counter with his right hand and resting his left on his hip.

"....do you guys really have a-"

"No we don't have a fucking chicken."

Damn it.

"Wait..." He muttered, whipping his face around to the clock again as the beeps and dings of the back of the McDonald's became consistent, ringing at every minute.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before walking out from behind the counter to the front door.

"Hey!" He yelled as you looked around, he wasn't talking to you right? You nervously pointed to yourself unsure "Yes you! Get behind the fucking counter, I don't wanna get sued again."

SAY LESS SIR!!

You aint wanna get your ass handed to you today!!!!

You quickly slipped behind the counter with Nai right behind you. "What happened?" You asked, putting your bag down as Nai rummaged in the cabinets for something.

Was someone robbing the store? Was there another another customer he was gonna fight? Cops?

It wasn't until you heard slams on the door that you looked back down at him, before getting a face full of fabric.

"A-A hat?" You cried out as he stood back up "They break down the doors sometimes but you can work the shift today." Giving you a hardened smile, he slapped the hat down onto your head.

WAIT YOU DON'T EVEN WORK HERE!!!

"I CAN'T DO THIS!"

Suddenly, you heard a loud pop of a lock break, and the waves of business men and women, and other customers pushed through the door, hogging the lobby up as if they were the sardines from that one Spongebob episode.

"Well!? Nai screamed at you "Take their order!"

Bro you didn't even get to order food! When did your lunch end anyway?!

With a heavy sigh and slouched shoulders, you pressed a few buttons on the screen "Hello welcome to McDonald's, how can I get your order?"

Why do you keep coming here anyways?...

'Can I leave now?'

It didn't take long for the hour to end, and all the customers to be cleared out that all the staff from the back had come out to the front.

"Are they dead?"

"Well they sure look like it- Ow! What was that for!?"

"Wolfwood don't say that!"

Your body was slouched against one of the walls, the McDonald's hat covering your face as you sat there as limp as a doll.

"I hope they're alright..." One of the more taller browned haired female worker said as the small black haired one went to shake your shoulder.

"Just kick them, maybe they'll awake."

"Legato don't-"

"OW!!!"

Never again....

[mindotaur]

I find it interesting that syscovery is very rarely linear. Here’s a long post about discovering, rediscovering and accepting our system, filled with mushy feelings at the end because I am quite the sentimental one.

content warning for self-destructive behavior, though we don't go into too much detail about what that was

We’ve mentioned in our writing and in some previous posts how we’ve always been overtly plural, we just didn’t know that was a thing. I remember being seven and interacting with Lim, playing with her when we were alone. I would always talk to myself out loud, sometimes we had verbal disagreements that made our family look at us funny – and that’s how our brother gave us the nickname Sméagol.

There are many memories that we can only explain now that we know about our plurality, now that we have the language to describe what was happening to us. We had flashbacks we thought were hauntings, alters known by name to our friends and partner at the time (who we notably described as ‘the other me’), impulsive and self-destructive behaviors we didn’t always understand because we were missing part of the puzzle, terrible memory gaps that we tried to explain away as being a byproduct of alcoholism (never mind the fact that we started drinking to cope with the memory gaps, not the other way around), and more… less than stellar things. The true sauce on the disordered burger, if you will.

Giselle, one of our previous hosts, found a forum online that talked about DID in the 2000s and she was like “holy shit, that’s me/us!” and tried to get support for our system as a teenager.  The trouble is that we lived in a small town with truly shitty mental health professionals who only traumatized us further, and Lim (our primary protector at the time) knew we weren’t ready to deal with the DID. She essentially forced Giselle into dormancy and we completely forgot that DID even existed.

Did that stop the voices, the discussions, the flashbacks, the blackouts? Did it stop our mother from talking about how we “seemed like a completely different person from moment A to moment B”? Absolutely not. We just lost the means to explain it to ourselves and others, and so we were certain we were psychotic. We began to describe the sensation of dissociation as “I think I’m hallucinating”, because the voices would get more intense and our vision would get blurry. Suppressing the system made the cacophony louder, increased headaches and sensitivities, increased self-destructive behavior to the maximum.

We moved states, went to university, had a terribly traumatic relationship as adults and spiraled out of control. We were in another relationship when our partner told us we needed therapy because things were absolutely unmanageable, and they were right. We started seeing our therapist and regularly visiting the psychiatrist, taking medications as prescribed and searching for a name for what was wrong with us.

The first thing we were diagnosed with was schizoaffective bipolar disorder, explaining the apparent psychosis and the episodes of mania and depression that we had since adolescence. Except the antipsychotics didn’t do anything about the voices, they didn’t stop the dissociation, they just acted as mood regulators. Schizoaffective was crossed off after a while.

It took us two years of weekly therapy, at times bi-weekly, and several medication adjustments until we gained any form of stability. We moved out of our family’s home and found our first “real” job, and that’s when the memory gaps got worse. We had our own money, our own time, and access to the entire big city we were now living in. Unbeknownst to us, Giselle was back from her dormancy and ready to make up for the years she had lost, so we were partying every week, I had fresh tattoos I had no memory of getting or even planning for, clothes I didn’t remember buying, money absolutely could not stay in my account.

Giselle was also what you may call a sexual protector, so we would black out during very specific instances, such as visits to the gynecologist. One time I remember I was in the elevator of the obgyn’s clinic, I dissociated, and suddenly I was in a completely different part of town with a bag of goodies she had bought from a street vendor.

I can’t tell you what it was like from her point of view, but for me it was absolutely disorienting. We started seeing a different psychiatrist and we got diagnosed with DID, but a lot of the support we got came from the online community of systems willing to explain things in layman’s terms. Our psychologist is trauma-educated but she had never worked with a system before, so we learned together, and she’s an absolute gem.

It wasn’t easy at first. I used to fight every switch, to be terrified of losing control, particularly to Giselle because she was so wild and irresponsible. I didn’t understand then that she was wild because she was locked away and repressed for so long, I didn’t know I was making it worse. Sometimes when we switched it would last upwards of 40 minutes, and I would know we were switching because of the terrible headache and anxiety that would come with it.

Time isn’t something easy for us to track, so I can’t tell you how long it was until I accepted Giselle and she accepted that her actions had consequences. We established a truce, then a friendship. The headaches went away and we could switch intentionally. It was around that time that other system members started showing themselves, and we began to actively work on improving our communication and memory-sharing.

For the first year of this, our now-wife would attend therapy with us and help fill in the gaps where I couldn’t remember things. Eventually, we were able to return to solo therapy sessions and our psychologist started working with one of us at a time, depending on who would front that day. We missed a lot of sessions because we forgot about them, but our therapist is an angel and she never gave up on us.

I remember one of my earlier thoughts about recovery being “I don’t want to be alone”. I was scared of Giselle and whoever else I may not know about, yes, but I had Lim – and I didn’t want to lose Lim, she’d always been with me. When we learned about functional multiplicity, we all agreed it was the way to go.

I don’t know how many hours we put into journaling, planning, talking with our partners and friends, endless therapy sessions, exploring different hobbies, making and testing playlists that would help each of us front, finding out what our positive and negative triggers were, exploring the inner world… it’s been years of hard work to get to the fluid communication we have now.

Giselle eventually fused with Roland. I grew to love them both, and I love who they became together. August is an absolute sweetheart. I can look back now and see everywhere the others helped us survive, every hurdle we overcame together, and it fills me with the deepest love and appreciation for them. We’re a rather large system and I love almost every one of us. There’s one still stuck in abusive trauma cycles, but he’s been getting quieter and we hope to get him to come around.

Overall, we’ve achieved functional multiplicity. We can work, we have a healthy marriage, we have friends, we own a house… we still have some issues (example: our social anxiety got worse during the pandemic), but we’re working through them together and helping each other every step of the way. Lim learned to let go and not be overprotective now that we’re no longer in an actively traumatic situation, we’ve learned to be more flexible with our roles, even if some of us still find them very useful, and we’re almost always cofronting. Switches are easier, we have less episodes of one of us getting frontstuck, almost no flashbacks or dissociative seizures unless we’re in specific high-stress situations… I don’t know, it’s good.

I love my system. I love finding out who we can become together. I love our friends who accept us for who we are, I love being open about us with more and more people. I wish we’d suffered less; I wish the road had been easier, but I would not trade them for anything in the world.

I don’t know if I had a point with this. I was just remembering our journey so far and I needed to get the feelings on paper. I don’t know if this will be particularly helpful to anyone, and we are notably bad at giving advice, so just accept this as a testimony to our lived experience. I am so proud of my system and myself for our growth and recovery I need to shout it from the rooftops.

What I can say is this: if you’re a disordered system and you’re just starting to figure things out, be patient with yourselves. Put in the work to get to where you want to be. It’s so incredibly worth it.