#but i missed being closer to him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

violentviolette · 27 days ago

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i got to talk to my brother for like, 2 hours tonight and it was so nice. we've been calling and video chatting almost weekly since the baby was born and im just like. really emotional about it we had a horrible relationship growing up and a large part of that was me, even tho obviously our dad is at the core of everything wrong with our lives, but still, i treated him fkn terribly. and ive been trying so hard over the last 10 years to be a better older brother and be there for him in a real and genuine way and make up for the first 18 years of our lives in whatever way i can and it really has paid off and our relationship is better and closer now than it ever has been and like. idk that just fills me with so much relief. i have so few family members left that i have actual relationships with and so to know that despite everything that happened, we can both still be in eachothers lives and have some part of our family just makes me really happy

#jack.speaks #i was really hoping he'd wanna reach out more once the baby was born and let me be more involved in his life #and he really has its been so nice just getting to talk to him on a consistent basis again #we used to go 6-8 months without talking at a time before #and i know thats normal in a lot of ways #but i missed being closer to him #our family was very tight knit and in a lot of ways it was absolutely toxic and disordered #but part of it was nice and comforting and made me feel not alone #and ive missed that so much in the last 10 years

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago

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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #Those last two high effort comics where just a warm up for this masterpiece. My true magnum opus.#I was originally going to do this gag as a 'alternate version of comic 155'#Then I realized that they have the 'Come back to Gusu with me' conversation twice. So here we are!#I did consider having WWX say 'I'm not going back to gusu with you' in the comic for the better plot accuracy.#I'm invoking the rule of silly by having Wei Wuxian read between the lines of 'Come back to Gusu with me'.#Because it does feel like a confession! It is a confession of 'I care about your safety and I worry for what may happen.'#It is also poorly articulated. You can't really blame WWX for reading into it as 'LWJ is just another person trying to control me.'#The relationship between them is not good! It is two parties who genuinely want to be closer with each other but cannot communicate it.#You can't really have what makes these two work so well as a dynamic without the past history of:#“Back then I really wanted to be your friend.” They are a *missed connection*!#WWX reaches out and LWJ rejects him. And now when LWJ reaches out it is WWX who pushes them apart.#It is a tragedy about the consequences of being out of tandem and realizing what you want far too late.#The momentum of WWX's downfall is far to fast to reverse now. It's a 'When' not ''if' question.#Back to your normal style of PD-MDZS next update. Thank you for reading!

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casualavocados · 17 days ago

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Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023) behind the scenes

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #ai di x chen yi #chen yi x ai di #chen bowen #nat chen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #userspring #userrain #userspicy #uservid #userjjessi #pdribs #*cajedit #*gif #they were told 'show your chemistry to the camera' and they just turned into chen yi and ai di.#this is so intimate i feel like im not allowed to look at it....and its SOOOO them....#it's giving post-canon tenderness to me. like....ai di being allowed to relax into chen yi and show him all his love in simple gentle ways #and chen yi accepting all of it and being glad and grateful that he simply has ai di in his arms #plus that little bit of possessiveness from both of them. the hand at chen yi's throat and the neck kiss #and chen yi holding ai di closer and smiling into it. letting ai di do what he wants to him as usual #the way its both 'i love you' and 'you're mine'#ITS ALL SOOOOO CONTENT AND FAMILIAR AND COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY AND FULL OF BELONGING #i really enjoy the bts bc you just watch them shift into their characters within half a second and back to themselves over and over #Thats not even nat and louis i swear to god they transformed. actors who act.#i miss giffing them often.....hopefully ill get back to that after my move....u would not believe how many adjustment layers these have

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skunkes · 5 months ago

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#a doodley #i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash #anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago #im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up #and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad #like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to #quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen #and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be #and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die #and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago #and your brothers that passed away #recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7 #the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad #said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then #i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was #like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry #im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible #i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad

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viveela · 1 year ago

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If you draw dip i woul be sooooooo happy

So I like to imagine Damien likes to fill in Pip about what happens back on Earth

#veearts #south park #sp fanart #fan art #damien thorn #phillip pirrup #pip #dip #damien x pip #i will talk more about this:#they become besties in hell u can't convince me otherwise #based this also a bit off of Damien still being in the bg sometimes #but yeah I think pip would be a bit bummed about passing so soon #ofc he's like well I guess I'm just unlucky oh well! but he'd miss being around everyone #even if they were pretty mean...#as they get closer Damien would tell him about the latest crazy shit that goes on #but he hides it under a lot of fake and real frustrations #pip very much appreciates it and can kinda sorta see through #and yeah basically this is canon in my head thanks

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meep-meep-richie · 1 year ago

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rent free

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grunklefordpines · 2 months ago

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HELLO. I HAVE A QUERIE.

IN YOUR JOURNAL, YOU VERY FORMALLY REFER TO SHERMIE AS "SHERMAN PINES", AS OPPOSED TO THE CASUAL TONE IN WHICH YOU REFER TO STANLEY SIMPLY BY FIRST NAME, OR EVEN AS JUST YOUR BROTHER.

I AM UNABLE TO DECIPHER WHY. IS THERE A REASON FOR THAT?

ALSO, WHO THE [FREAK] EVEN IS SHERMIE.

— A VERY CONFUSED READER.

Well,

He’s my and Stanley’s brother.

I’m somewhat estranged from Sherman, though—He doesn’t know me as well as he knows Stan and the kids—

To him, I am one half of the memory that remains in a childhood bedroom once shared by two brothers.

—I try to keep in touch, though.

#if the grammar isn’t correct sue me i spent an hour trying to figure it out #also remember that anything regarding shermies age is literally unknown #like he said shermie could’ve been the baby but realized that dipper and mabels parents would’ve been pregnant at a very young age #but the episode aired and alas. there was nothing to be done.#anyway i like the idea that shermie is the younger brother and closer to stan than ford #thinking about being away hurts ford a lot because it reminds him of how much he missed out on #he wasn’t there for the twins because he COULDNT be there. he missed so many milestones and so many celebrations.#he couldn’t be there for his brother when he needed him the most #he missed so many birthdays.#anywho #ford pines #stanley pines #shermie pines #mabel pines #dipper pines #gravity falls roleplay #the mind

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desire-mona · 2 months ago

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hate being the job oomf, how do i tell all the cool as fuck mutuals that my blorbo is my coworker?? its fucking up my dash cred

#desire mona #i miss when kutner was the blorbo. brain... bring him back #im being forcefed normal pills guys help #closer to you - sammy rae & the friends #thoughtsing #on the clock

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alexjcrowley · 3 months ago

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HOW DID I FUCKING FORGOT IT WAS MAX'S BIRTHDAY OH MY GOD I AM SO DUMB HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX KNOW THAT YOUR MERCH POPULATES MY VIRGINITY CORNER

#clarification: I have a bunch of F1 themed stuff that's mostly RedBull/Max themed #I call it the verginity corner cause being a RedBull fan in Italy is a surefire way to never get laid #not that I was having much luck before #ANYWAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!!!!! Happy birthday to the guy who got me into this sport #simply because I believed the memes about his dominance must have been exaggerated #Like nobody can win this much #right?#but he could. I miss those days. Anyway happy birthday to my most dangerous parasocial relationship #I am still firmly convinced I could pull him if he wasn't an F1 driver #he could infodump to me about cats and I could infodump him on. So much fucking stuff.#(also thanks Max for getting into F1 which made me grew closer with a friend because we're the only F1 fans in the friend group)#max verstappen

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heytheredeann · 5 months ago

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“Yes, there is a place where someone loves you both before and after they learn what you are.” ― Neil Hilborn

#gallya #gallyaedit #tmfuedit #the man from uncle #tmfu #illya x gaby #not spn #my edit #idk i was just thinking about them #initially this was supposed to be a napollya+gallya set #but while i have feelings about this type of theme and napollya too i feel like in the context of the movie it doesn't suit them as well #napoleon and illya tried to kill each other immediately it was more of a showing each other the worst bits immediately kind of situation #they learned to care about each other DESPITE all that so they are safe from this. or so they think #i feel like this 'still loves you after they learn who you are' thing will apply later #once they get closer and napoleon starts painstakingly shedding some layers and illya voluntarily lets napoleon be there for him #meanwhile i feel like this quote is 100% the horrifying realization happening in gaby's head at the end of the movie during the hotel scene #that not only illya loved the innocent civillian to protect she pretended to be but he loved the traitor spy too #terrible realization. 0/10. she doesn't want these feelings. evil.#forever obsessed with the way gaby RECOILS when he's being sweet in the final hotel scene #she seeks out gentleness from him when she's asleep or drunk otherwise she is like 'nope NOPE' or at least looks conflicted i'm obsessed #and i feel like she tried to talk herself out of feeling any feelings for him because well. he doesn't like HER he likes her COVER #AND THEN stupid illya had to be stupidly sweet with her even AFTER he knows. smh. how dare he #also off topic but DYING at illya's green hat helping him blend in i never noticed looool #i'm sure he has a whole collection of hats so he can always hide in different environments #god i hadn't giffed in forever i missed it looool

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ssreeder · 9 months ago

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my favorite thing to do you ask? reading the updates while completely ignoring the fact that the fic is ending soon 🧍🏾‍♀️

My current mood trying to finish liab:

#I swear every chapter I’m like OK ANOTHER 20k CLOSER TO THE END #But the healing arc is taking FORVER #Because there are so many THINGS that have to happen #So I feel like I’m crawling through this part #But after the battle starts things should progress quickly after that #Yall know how intense those chapters can get #Phew. Gunna be a mess #BUT YOURE RIGHT IT IS GETTING SO CLOSE TO BEING FINISHED!!!!#It is kind of daunting to think about not having to write liab #It’s torturing me right now so im missing some of the sentimental feelings right now #But im sure ill look back and think AWWWWWWW I MISS IT #but right now i wanna slap jet & sokka and grab zuko back the back of the neck and tell him to STAY.#Anywayyyyy…. Next chapter is going great obviously #TWO CONFIDENT THUMBS UP #You’re amazing I miss you #I hope everything goes great!!#Gabbytril4mg #LIAB #leaving it all behind #ask

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eggtqrt · 11 months ago

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the thing about the charming siblings is i want to make them tragic. you're perfect, I wish I was perfect. you're allowed to not be perfect. I resent you for being perfect. I hate you for being imperfect. I want to be a boy. I want to be a knight. I want to be you. I could be better than you. I wish your destiny was mine. I wish people loved me the way they love you. I wish she loved me the way she loves you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I love you. I miss when we were friends. we never talk anymore. do you even care? you know nothing about me. you took my destiny. who am I? I'm supposed to be the responsible one. don't leave me. get away from me. when did you grow out of being a little kid? i miss home. the only place that feels like home is you. do you love her? do you love me? brother. sister. i was supposed to protect you. I'm sorry. I forgive you. nothing will ever be the same again.

it's about perfection and performance. it's about playing roles. everyone has their role to play. what if i want to be something else, something more. it's about femininity and masculinity. it's about not fitting in to either. is it about who you're supposed to be or who you want to be? I did it for you. I didn't ask for that. I'd burn the world for you. you never cared about me. I think of you always. there isn't room enough for all of us. i wish you'd never been born at all. I couldn't live without you.

#the thing about dexter and darling is they have a lot of parallels #they both thought their love interests (raven and apple) liked daring #they both wish they were like daring (though in different ways)#neither of them have a confirmed destiny #but at the same time dexter gets to be a prince and do the things she wants to do #and i think Dexter is sort of jealous of her because as another prince he gets compared to daring more #Dexter resents his siblings for being seemingly perfect and he also resents darling for how she doesnt even have to be perfect #bc she doesnt get compared to daring in his eyes #darling does feel the need to be perfect though and resents that she can't live the life she wants but her brothers get that life #daring TO ME has a superiority complex to cover up his flaws bc hes severely scared of being imperfect #but at the same time he wishes he was allowed to be imperfect bc the pressure is killing him #hes relied on false bravado for so long that he doesn't know who is without that especially when he loses his destiny #so he resents darling for her effortless confidence in who she is #i think they all used to be super close and daring felt like the one who needed to protect his siblings #but they grew apart as they got older and started to resent each other and he lost that protective instinct #but they all miss when they were closer #i think daring realizes he was “supposed” be the one protecting his siblings once darling starts protecting/saving him #to darling its too late for him to protect her bc she can protect herself and doesnt want to be protected #to dexter though i think a part of him wishes daring stood up for and protected him more #they all desperately need to be flawless but its killing them #and they all desperately want to be each other #and they all just want their siblings back #but they can't go back to when they were children #and they can't understand each other as they are now #but they love each other anyways #even as they resent each other #eah #ever after high #ignore that i wrote 50 million more things in the tags #i realize this may be out of character or whatever but idc

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casualavocados · 5 months ago

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I asked myself why I failed to notice. It was the first time we'd been apart that long. I found the birthday gifts you prepared for me in my room, from my 18th to my 21st. ...Shut up. I started to think about what you were doing back then. Were you celebrating my birthday all by yourself?

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #chen yi x ai di #ai di x chen yi #nat chen #chen bowen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #userspring #userrain #uservid #userspicy #userjjessi #pdribs #*cajedit #*gif #do you ever cry about the chen yi that woke up to find ai di gone.#do you ever think about the chen yi that felt ai di's tears on his face and reached up to hold him closer. to comfort him.#who saw & chose in a moment the true ai di that had always been by his side then lost him in the next. & woke up to learn it was his fault #cuz i think about the chen yi during ai di's prison time a lot. i think about him going over so many of his memories #reevaluating ai di's anger and teasing and realizing it was all heartbreak. THAT IT WAS ALL HEARTBREAK.#the guilt...the desperation & need to get through to ai di so he never makes him feel that way again. understanding that he loves ai di too #the way he gently touches ai di's hands and face here... he tied him up to keep him from running but hes being so earnest and SO careful #with ai di's pain & ai di's love. his expressions & the way he takes deep breaths before admitting things out loud like its clear #hes thinking hard abt what he wants to say and how he wants to say it. bc he has to make ai di understand how much he means this #how much he misses him. how much he wants to make this right. how he wants & needs to be by ai di's side forever bc he loves him!#he loves him!!!!!!!!! GOD. i love chen yi.

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lokh · 11 months ago

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shuro got two drawings. TWO. and im the only one excited about it

#ITS A SKETCH BUT STILLLLLL #honestly i dont think hes all that fascinating by himself.#but his potential with laios............ what if laios could make him better 😭😭😭😭😭#this is about the hug thing 😭😭😭#honestly i dont know how much i actually ship #OHHHHHH SO THATS IT #ok so. what i was about to say was that the ideal laios ship dynamic for me #is people falling for his autistic rizz and him just being oblivious.#which. isnt really a Ship thing so much as a one way crush #but maybe the reason i feel more strongly abt laishuro than labru is that.#laios Already has strong feelings abt shuro #obviously he does get a lil closer to kabru by the end #but the whole point with them is kabru desperately trying to find an in and somehow missing before getting there #so i understand the appeal there too but. ya know..#I JUST WANNA POST THIS COMIC OK THERES ONLY A BIT TO GO #I /NEED/ PEOPLE TO SEE THE VISION. PLEASE

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liuisi · 4 months ago

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feel like theres a balance to strike between "people putting guidelines to being a christian (you need to read your Bible everyday, you need to need to never miss church, you should never be anxious... etc.) and saying that not doing them is sinning is wrong" and "you DO need to grow in your faith and be consistent"

#julia.txt #is not reading your Bible everyday a sin? no not really #SHOULD you do it? yes!!! how do you want to live according to God's will if you dont acquaint yourself with God's will everyday?#the flesh doesnt take a day off #is it a sin to miss church? no! should you do it? also no!!#(with the caveat of being sick or any other unavoidable circumstance)#you cannot grow closer to God if you do not commune with Him and worship Him #and that INCLUDES other meetings than sunday #i just see too many people dismiss church easily #like oh i made plans with my friends i cant come oh i took a meeting i cant come #if you want to be serious about your walk with God you cant dismiss church that easily #is it a sin to be anxious? no!!!! of course not!!#but we cannot let ourselves wallow in it either #we cant think oh im anxious its just my disposition its my mental state #we have to WORK on it. how many verses are there about God taking care of us. how many times has He assured us that He will not leave us #does that mean you'll wake up one day and you wont have anxiety anymore ? no #but it DOES mean that God can alleviate it #and. i feel it necessary to point out that if you KNOW its God's will that you do something #and you dont do it #thats a sin. you're going against God's will #knowingly #romans 14 20!!#all things indeed are pure #but it is evil for the man who eats with offense #<- if i do something that violates my conscience it is a sin for me even if it might not be In Itself a sin #we cant call everything legalism and use it as an excuse to not grow #faith posting

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exltwounds · 6 days ago

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Sometimes i hate to be the one who's always right

#i suspect that my ex bestfriend like the one i've been friends with for over a decade is now dating that one guy friend #who i was really into years ago when we were all from the same group of friends #and the point is that i ALWAYS had that gut feeling she was also into him but due to the fact that she was always dating someone else #she never really gave him a chance #and she knew i had some feelings for him at the time (she never tried to help us get closer btw which i took that as a subtle sign lol)#<- i mean thats what friends do right? especially really close ones #and one time she almost tried to start a make out sesh with him knowing i was there to witness it happening #she then brushed it all off saying she was drunk and blah blah blah #fucking bitch #i should've fucking ended it that day tbh #why am i mad about it now? i don't know #i just hate the idea that she could've started dating him earlier instead of supporting me trying to get close to him or whatever #possibly behind my back for a bit even #and me being so right about it since the very fucking beginning #if y'all ever catch me posting about how much i miss that person you're allowed to come to my house and beat the shit out of me #cause i don't and i didn't deserve this #end of rant

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