#but i may have fixated on several points instead of all of them

[specialgradefckr]

so, i’ve had this pervasive thought for a WHILE about clone!gojo. and maybe it’s on account of me being the filthy satoru kinnie i am, but there’s this lil detail i keep fixating on

the Six Eyes, by virtue of a multi-generational binding vow, are able to exist as a physical trait on the principle of only one person in existence being allowed to have them at a time. limitless is implied to be the same way, but i don’t think it’s ever explicitly stated.

but yuji in his entirety is proof of it being possible to loophole a binding vow / heavenly restriction without consequence, since he’s supposed to have zero cursed energy but slurps up sukuna’s anyways (and eats his brothers but we don’t need to think about that part).

so like. does the clone even have six-eyes and limitless? you alluded to it in the second part, but you also mentioned it wasn’t technically canonical to the long-form of the clone au. and if he does, how?? why???? does the Gojo binding vow allow him to exist because technically it’s still only one person with the eyes, aka Satoru Gojo, no matter how many of them there are? did both of them get weaker because it’s split between two now, like maki and mai? does he even know how to use his techniques(of course he does, he’s satoru gojo)?

aaaaaa fics rarely get me thinkin this much it’s so yummy yum brain buzz

-🃏

P.S. does part 3 take place before the scene where clone!satoru drugs reader in the end of part 1, or was that smth reader just went “BAD DOG” about and then they moved on?

lmao tho at the gojo kinnie being all like "ah yes that fic where you CLONE GOJO AND KEEP HIM AS A SEX SLAVE I AM ENGAGED IN THIS NARRATIVE" jsldfgsldfgh further proving my point that canon gojo would envy clone gojo

so the problem with the six eyes thing is that... it's lore. jjk lore. and gege SUCKS at keeping lore consistent. it's insane. satoru infamously says, post sukuna fight, "man he's so strong i prob couldn't have beaten him even without the 10 shadows" and then gege goes on in an interview to say "yeah so sukuna probs only won because gojo was distracted" like EVERY TIME GEGE EXPLAINS ANYTHING IT BECOMES LESS CONSISTENT.

here's my take on canon, which tbh is no less logical or consistent with gege's own so you might as well consider it canon:

-there can only be one six eyes at any given time, and the six eyes almost never come around.

this is said somewhere in the series but i forget where. i think tengen mentions that she, the six eyes, and the star plasma vessel - of which there can be multiple (?) - are "bound by fate" (?) although toji is said to have "severed" that fate (?). gege never explains what any of this means in detail and it's good that he doesn't because he would have contradicted himself somwhere.

-the limitless technique is the family technique of the gojo clan

this is stated somewhere in canon; they say often that gojo was the first to be born "with the limitless technique and the six eyes" - this all pretty much confirms there are other limitless users, though they may not be alive/around at the time of canon.

to my knowledge, it's never stated in canon that yuji has a heavenly restriction, although that would actually make a lot of sense considering his physical traits! ...up to the ending where gege just kinda goes "screw it" and yuji straight up uses sukuna's techniques and domain, without having any of his fingers.

but! back to the series hehehe!

it absolutely tickles me that you're thinking about this because i actually do have an explanation here for why the clone is the way he is. i'll give you a couple hints:

the reason that other fic wasn't canonical was because in that fic it was pretty much implied that clone!satoru found out he was a clone without you knowing, instead of you intentionally showing him and threatening to replace him. that's pretty much it.

in the most recent fic, you note that satoru is your only success to date, and you're not actually sure if you can replace him like you're threatening to.

and to answer you last question about when part 3 takes place... well, i'd hate to spoil the surprise >.>

that being said, the thing you're confused about concerning the six eyes probably won't be revealed in the next part. if you're ultra curious, toss in another ask with your best guess at why clone!satoru would have the six eyes, and i'll put the answer under a readmore for you <3

[finnoahsource]

hey guys, bit of a mod post here with something I'd like to address. long post ahead.

so, I always run this blog in a lighthearted but not too personal way, I very much dislike typing all this out and 'explaining' anything and have no interest in petty drama, but I'm seeing chatter again and think I deserve to say my piece. I've taken a couple days to process the most recent thing and put my thoughts together.

several times now I have been vaguely spoken about by another blog here in accusatory, negative ways, and earlier on finally received an anon from them (I do believe it is them, potentially anon from being a sideblog, this behaviour isn't new although I'm willing to listen if it's claimed it wasn't them) that was honestly really disappointing and disheartening to read. I thought it was fair to address publicly since the vague posting that others have seen is also public, and also because there's talk around. my intention isn't to encourage hate anywhere at all, so please don't.

I personally believe it would've been more productive to send an anon asking if there was any way we could chat (DMs are broken for this blog) because there was upset on their end, talk through it, but instead this happened not long after I posted a noah update.

apparently more was then said on their own blog, a friend messaged me describing what was posted and then deleted (something done in the past, multiple times, see second pic from a separate friend) and it aligns with them saying they mark the photos.

very rarely do people credit each other for public fan photos, because they're not ours, but do you not think that I may not want to interact with you anymore because you have a strange fixation on my blog? it's not exactly felt inviting towards me for a while. when I post something ~first~ I don't get reblogged, so I'm confused by that being said. congratulations on having more ease with finding photos that'd be in noah's 'tagged' section on IG if it were active, it's great you have a way and the time for it in your day, but those aren't anything special or rare, they're fan photos. acting like the holder of all information/updates by not posting sources is something I don't understand, but I don't dwell.

the easiest thing to say here is: I do not visit this blog as is being assumed. I've had fun navigating updates and learning myself how to do things. "IF you find them [yourself]" as if I haven't been doing that the whole time, same as any other update account.

however, I have friends who message me saying they saw something, friends who send me new photos or articles, anons who are kind enough to send things on either guy in case I miss anything too (and as I've said before, sometimes I might not answer those anons but they're always appreciated!) all just because they want to - so I'm never surprised if it came initially from that blog and I wasn't aware - and really, it's fine if it does. sometimes IG is first too, sometimes I'm first, it doesn't matter! - I just look for the original in case it's not the full photo - which their anon now confirms is the case sometimes, even if I don't understand why that's done.

back to my actual point - I have a community around me who sometimes help me out because that's what fandom is to me. community. getting excited and sharing that excitement. I can't speak for anyone else here, but that's how I work. I spend a LOT of time looking for new glimpses of the boys myself, and I'm just appreciative of when friends keep me in the loop because life gets busy.

what this also means, is that on occasion I may not immediately know a source or have the original version of something. it's often my excitement over the boys or a lack of time to come back on later/preferring to post right away that I might post and edit later on when able - I'm lucky that tumblr has that feature!

for some reason, the random fan selfie on a public facebook account is the source of some conflict now. I personally don't at all feel like I need to provide an explanation and give a whole rundown, I think it's ridiculous to 'defend' something that can have multiple explanations - but why not, because the lack of context and assumptions made from it honestly suck. so: I got that photo from instagram actually. posted not long after the blog (after I had a look), so THEY clearly got it from there, didn't give credit - so why is it only me? anyway, did my usual of searching social media platforms for it, to no initial avail. I got busy in real life, so I didn't think twice and posted it because I wasn't sure when I'd be back. after receiving the ask from this blog, saying they "marked" the photo (???? why) I eventually did the exact same search just out of exasperation and sure enough it finally popped up. this happens on FB and tiktok a lot, some tiktoks don't show up for like two days after being posted at times, I don't know if there's a better way to search but that just happens for me! anyone with better techniques feel free to let me know. the photo was actually posted many hours before either of us posted it, which reiterates my point that new posts don't always show up. that's kind of it. no "catching me red handed". the IG I got the initial pic from deleted the blog's version and uploaded the original I had posted shortly after I updated my post, so unfortunately I don't have a screenshot to back that up. again, I hate even having to explain such a non-issue.

everything I've just discussed is so normal for update accounts it feels bizarre to even say it.

I do try and include sources to what I post where I can, and am aware that I am a bit inconsistent and that's for a variety of reasons. if anything, as I said I always edit the post later to include it!

while we are on the topic of posting sources, it's a very standard thing for celebrity/media update accounts to do. it's done more often than not done, and not doing so limits others in your community. the main times I may not (initially) post sources are big event days, because it's easier on my brain. I am only human! and I'm still trying/wanting to have fun in the moment with everyone else while posting :') those days are fast paced, and definitely a time the inconsistency happens. that being said - if someone sends an ask about a specific photo/video, I've always been happy to dig for that one and tell you! I hope my inconsistency is okay.

another thing I want to address is the label of running these blogs like a 'game'. "I don't bother you at all when you do [post things first] because I respect the game" - what game? this genuinely shocks me. do you know how many noah stan accounts there are on instagram who all get things from each other? it's a lot! and they have fun.

I'm sorry but I didn't sign up to compete. frankly, I was here first and have always just had fun, never had anyone else on the mind. maybe I made a mistake in transitioning this blog into doing more updates, maybe not everyone wants it, but it became fun to do since when I began this blog it was very quiet, and I was only trying to keep spirits up during a multiple year hiatus with less finn and noah around, and create a safe space for noah love.

there have been multiple instances now where I have been vaguely posted about by this blog, with an accusation that I'm "stealing" content (also known as: publicly posted images on social media). it goes back to at least the sabrina carpenter concert noah and millie attended (date stamp in the photo I posted above). a fast paced, exciting event where - as so often happens on event days - everybody finds the exact same posts, and posts them at similar times. such is just the nature of it. there is no stealing because nothing is original. I do not keep up with that blog. bit presumptuous and self-absorbed to believe I have to rely on someone when I do put effort in.

"your job" ??? these are blogs on tumblr dot com. what are we talking about?

now, the accusation that I sent hate anons? insane to me. all I get from you pointing this out is that it's a projection. if you're the type to send people anons when you don't like something, that's on you I don't think that's got anything to do with me. clearly it wasn't me because I can see your blog? I don't even know what you mean by the "topic" you get anon hate for, my biggest guess is not posting sources in your posts? many people actually value that from update accounts, that's not a 'me' thing.

I don't complain when I'm made aware gifs are posted after I post mine, or when a source is actually added to your posts on the occasions I've posted something first and forgotten to add it. I'm made aware, but I don't focus on it.

even things like if I'm ever "late" to post (bad mindset), or don't know about some personal friend's account where noah appears, is that really something to fault? do we not all learn as we go? no one is better for having more time in their day or being in extra hidden corners. at least I don't view it that way. I also am keeping up with two people for this blog, and I think I've been doing an okay job at it!

anyway, to wrap this up, this negative discussion is the exact opposite of my intent with this blog. I felt backed into a corner after that anon, more unwelcome here again and I knew letting it go and bottling it up would only get worse as time went on. I hope people can understand my reasons for posting this.

I get on here and try to bring excitement and generate good spirits for a fandom that needs it. deserves it. I take time out of my day to search for things, I make gifs, I edit photos - I used to answer more asks but I'm still navigating how I feel there - I do a lot just because it makes me happy, I don't have time to keep up with another blog that intensely. I'm just lucky I have friends who look out for me.

to that person: I don't discredit any time and effort from you, so I hope you can understand that your assumptions aren't fact and genuinely feel more at ease there. people just like knowing where stuff comes from. my intention isn't at all to discourage you from being here, and I don't want anyone to go and attack either, please don't. I just wanted to speak since I never have, and there were too many assumptions. I hope you can start approaching this with a sense of shared community, too. we all love noah, and that's not an easy find these days, I don't see worth in in-fighting.

I think I've said all I can say. I'm not interested in a back and forth after this, no drama for entertainment for something trivial. I'm going to carry on doing as I have been the whole time, thanks to everyone for being here and I hope we all stay having fun no matter where 🩵

[crueclown22]

Hey, hey!, I'd love to hear a bit more about you're zombie AU/ home sweet home (can't wait for the next update btw!) and your psych ward au if you're willing to share more details! :)

I’d love to share more details about both <3

Home Sweet Home is basically the love child of me being in love with both Left 4 Dead and Motley Crue. At the time, I was very fixated on L4D which made me think about how I could mash them together. After I got the thought in my head, I came across a video from Casual Geographic where he was talking about rabies and then cwd (chronic wasting disease) and decided to combine both of the diseases, creating the zombie virus that’s present in HSH :)

The virus is a very complicated thing; like in left 4 dead, there’s different types of zombies. The type of zombie depends on the way that you catch it; if it’s a water contamination, your stomach rots out along with your esophagus. If it was transferred from flies, there’s a hive in multiple parts of the body that carry the virus and spreads. If it was transferred from an already existing zombie, from a bite, you’re pretty much gone if you try to outrun it or shoot it. They can be killed but it’s much harder than the other zombies, and they’re a lot stronger than the others. It has to do with the potency of the virus being transferred. Water contamination allows the virus to be pretty much watered down, while the direct bite isn’t watered down at all. Water contamination zombies are the weakest and the direct bite zombies are the strongest :)

The boys are getting introduced soon, and while I won’t say too much about how they meet, I can tell you Tommy’s coming very soon and Mick’s going to be the last introduced (but he’s going to play a big part in the story <3). I’m working on the new chapter, it’s just taking me stupidly long because I’m fighting the urge to make it a bit more casual but I need to match the tone of the first chapter 😭 Along with that, just being busy. It’s probably going to be updated by June, or late May (don’t quote me on that though, I never truly know lol)

The story is set around 1981, when Nikki was still in London. Nikki’s like 22-23, Vince is around 20, Mick is around 30 and Tommy’s around 18-19 :)

Onto the psych ward au!!

I am having a bit of trouble with this one (as my other posts say, along with not wanting to come off insensitive and to feed into any stereotypes about mental health or mental hospitals). Done a LOT of research but I’m gonna do a more, so it’ll take some time for the story to come out. A lot of it is based off of my own experiences, like I’ve said, I very much based Nikki off of my own shit to the point that it was almost not Nikki anymore, which is why I’m going back and editing and rewriting it.

The basis for it that I have right now, as I’m redoing the plot too, is that Tommy was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (still working that out to see how everything played out and how he got diagnosed). He ended up crashing his car on a bridge one day during a period of mania and his family put him in a hold. He ended up being transferred to a mental hospital. He’s been there for a while now.

Nikki’s there for an attempt; he has severe depression and struggles with a few other things that I can’t say too much about (I’ve got to tone those down from the original story so it doesn’t trigger others too much, which is why I’m not saying anything). It’s also going to be set in the 80’s, and in a mental hospital instead of a psych ward (as it’s not short term care, and I used the wrong term at first. I do call it the psych ward au though because that’s what I called it before.)

Nikki had just come in at the beginning of the story. I’m not sure what to do with Vince or Mick yet. Not a lot is known rn about the rest of the au <3

Hopefully this made sense and wasn’t boring 😭

[angelosearch]

A quick little meditation I wrote on why it is so painful to update my resume. I may delete this later because I might turn it into a larger personal essay piece.

It is 10:35 am and I am sitting in front of my laptop’s brutally large screen, fixating on the thin line the blinks on the document in front of me.

The document is my résumé, circa December 2021.

That was two years. That was one hospital stay, three intensive outpatient programs, and a two month stay in residential care ago. That was two jobs ago. The person reflected in this document represents an ideal self that I no longer aspire to embody: A girl, reeling from the reckoning of her CPTSD, hanging on the vestiges of a career that constantly reminded her of her flaws and insignificance.

And in that torrent of criticism and mistreatment, she felt at home. Her jobs became her family. If she could just be enough, then they would see her, then they would understand that she shouldn’t have to push herself to the brink of mania to earn their love. But even when they did try to claim she was talented, she twisted the words into lies and duties. This was the bare minimum. This is what she had to do. She was not worthy of real admiration.

Yet, she constantly kept trying to outrun one family to try to find one that would treat her differently, somehow without altering the contract of her contact. This document is a map of that attempt of escape, littered with sparkling phrases like “proficient in project management” and “developed effective marketing strategy.” Do any of these phrases truly fit what she has done? Is anything she has ever accomplished impressive in any way?

“Has anyone ever believed in you in your entire life?” One boss once asked her.

The question from the democratic ex-mayoral candidate turned marketing director caused her to spin out.

If they have, I’ve never recognized it—for all words in a language that you do not speak sound like gibberish the first time you hear them.

This man made her feel as though he believed in her, and she said as much on one autumn morning in the lobby of a hotel in Phoenix, Arizona where they had just pulled off a successful presentation as exhibitors at a conference.

But she required too much patience and too much medical leave when her illness reached its peak. He fired her on the phone while a messy medication transition left her unable to move for several days. He did so subtly that she had no idea she had lost her job, her purpose, until human resources called and explained how to return her computer.

That’s the last entry on the résumé.

I am changing this document to capture a version of myself who belongs in an Art Therapy graduate program. It reads like an obituary for a woman who knew nothing of setting boundaries or connecting with her inner child.

If she is not dead, I’d like to kill her.

But how can I shape this disparate smattering of “wear a lot of hats” skills into something that resembles the creativity, compassion, and emotional intelligence required of an Art Therapist?

Résumé and resume are such similar words in the English language that the modern spelling of the former word has dropped it’s accents to be more easily written online. To resume is to pick up after a pause—but I have always been told negative space in your work history is unacceptable.

But despite that, I am resuming. This isn’t even my first period of resume.

It’s funny how those gaps on your résumé are seen as something negative. I’ve learned more, and more valuable, things in the times between my jobs than I ever did in them. I cannot explain it in bullet points or with stop and end dates, but I do have experience with creativity and compassion and emotional intelligence. I’ve sat on a couch instead of an office chair and I’ve grabbed tissues instead of leaflets. I talked a woman, frightened and in chronic pain, through her first few days of residential care. I’ve been told my capacity for vulnerability makes space for others.

Can I list the applause I got from my peers as I left the treatment center as professional recognition?

No. We all must come to our places of work as unbroken things who swear their lives to the job. We get paid to lie about not just being there to be paid. The only true passion you must clock in for is the passion to stay alive.

I hope that the world of Art Therapy is different, but upfront I must pretend that I have an acceptable amount of trauma and valuable work experiences.  It’s makeup over a scar on my neck that looks like a hickey—an undeniable part of me too easily misunderstood to be revealed at the offset.

The true contents of what may make me good at my job may never be revealed to my colleagues, peers, or clients, and certainly will not be quantified on this document.

And so I move sections around on my resume like puzzle pieces and hope it matches the picture on the box.

[lilnasxvevo]

I was on the incel wiki bc one of you losers cross posted a greentext that mentioned negative canthal tilt and I was like “what the fuck is that” and looked it up and didn’t notice that the result I clicked on was incel wiki instead of regular Wikipedia right away bc the themes are very similar. And the article on canthal tilt on incel wiki is surprisingly even-handed so I did a little poking around on the rest of the site to see if it was somehow similarly reasonable and it largely was not.

The reason Toulouse-Lautrec on the homepage made me scream was just. 1) I severely doubt he would identify with incels/as an incel if he was made aware of the movement and 2) I severely doubt he would want That to be the main thing literally anybody on earth knew/remembered him for. Also I am not a Toulouse-Lautrec expert but I don’t think that’s even true. A quick glance at his Wikipedia page shows that he did have at least one legit actual girlfriend in his life. Especially for artists of the era, just because someone hangs out with sex workers a lot doesn’t mean no one wants to date them.

They go on to list Van Gogh as an incel as well which is nonsense. Certainly there was a long period of time in his adult life where he does not seem to have had a partner of any kind but he had so much shit going on that this also doesn’t seem to have been even in his top 20 most pressing personal problems. He may fit some people’s definition of “incel” but the idea that he’d particularly identify with the movement is, again, absurd.

If incels want a poster boy it would be much more logical to find a historical figure who actually wrote or complained about how difficult never being able to find a partner was for them emotionally and the negative impact this had on them. None particularly come to mind, except idk, maybe Petrarch? John Donne? But incels don’t strike me as the kind of people who read very widely, because to me it’s just such an ignorant, self-obsessed movement. I think if incels did things besides thinking about how single they are, they wouldn’t be Like That. For your primary obsession in life to be, essentially, the fact that you can’t control what other people think of you, I think you must be living a life that is tragically very limited, and for most of them I think most of those limits are self-imposed.

This is all speaking about incels as a broad movement and not the very specific Reddit-style incel who are violently misogynist and obsessed with dividing the world into Chads and Stacys and such. I’m just speaking to the very basic definition of making the fact that your dating life is not going well a major facet of your personality.

I think the reason I assume incels don’t read is because many of them act as though they invented loneliness. If they read more widely they would know that pretty much everyone is lonely at least at some point in their lives, and that even the beautiful people, even the rich people, even the charismatic people have significant troubles trying to find someone who will love them romantically.

And like. In my experience if you read ten novels at random, at least three of them will be by profoundly lonely people. And I think that knowing you are not alone in your loneliness makes it much easier to not fixate on it. So I sort of just think that incels should read a book. Nearly any book will do.

[badge-does-stuff]

I rewrote Hades and His Small Friends... 😳

There are some pretty big changes! You can check out the first chapter under the cut :)

REBLOGS + COMMENTS > LIKES

One of our main protagonists, a 41-year-old man named Hades, walks down the street calmly. He’s quite impressed with his look for today—he didn’t shave the stubble and he thinks it suits him (…nobody agrees; don’t tell him). He is on the way to his favourite coffee shop. It’s been forever since he’s seen Cashier Boy and Barista Girl (the brother and sister that work there).

It’s been so long, in fact, that he forgets he has to take a right turn instead of a left. 

He ends up in a wide alley, strewn with garbage. There’s graffiti on the walls of the redbrick apartments that make up the sides, and he can't help but stare at the colours. His eyes soon fixate on a person smoking a Camel.

They look young, and not much older than 20. They are sitting on an old yellow couch someone has thrown out. They seem familiar…

"Hey, kid," Hades calls. The person looks up. "Wait. Rocky?" 

"Hades?" 

"What’s happened to you?" Hades asks, running his hand through his (greasy) black hair. 

"Mom kicked me out," he calls back. "I’ve been here for a few days."

"Hera did what? Why?"

"Well, I got kicked out of uni. And I lost my job. Make of that what you will."

"And your dad was fine with this sudden change of events?"

"I… may have told Mom about his assistant, too."

Hades scoots over and claps Rocky on the back. "I taught you right. Good kid."

He laughs. "Safe to say Mom’s reaction was… a little different."

"Well, regardless, I’m proud of you, kid. You need help, yeah? Place to stay, an’ all that?" 

Rocky nods. "If it’s not too much."

"I got you. Don’t worry, dude. Have you been praying?"

"Nah. I haven’t, for a while. Not since a few months ago."

"No wonder, kid. We’ll work on it." 

Hades takes a second to look at Rocky. He’s in an oversized, yellowy-beige puffer jacket over an Arctic Monkeys t-shirt, grey sweatpants and—are those Crocs? They will be doing some shopping later on.

"Not to mention, you’ve been wearing Crocs for the past week and you’re still spending money on cigarettes? Look at me." Rocky’s eyes reluctantly meet Hades’. "Drop it. You are twenty-three years old and you know those hurt you."

"Fine. And, for the record, I stole a pack from Mom and Dad before I left."

"That’s no better." Hades gestures out to the busy street behind them. Rocky follows hesitantly, wincing as they step out into the sunlight that manages to completely vanish in the alley. 

Hades guides him down the sidewalk as he waves to the regular vendors and neighbours and such. It really has been a while; Joey’s Hawt Dawg stall has moved several feet to the left.

Once they get to the coffee shop that Hades is a regular at, called The Right Stuff, Barista Girl and Cashier Boy wave. They are wearing their uniform; a dark grey collared shirt with a name tag pinned on, a black apron of sorts and a white tie. As always, Cashier Boy has tied his tie wrong. Nobody seems to notice or care, so Hades doesn’t point it out.

"Mr. Hades! It’s been so long!" Cashier Boy calls from behind the counter. He has light brown, floppy hair and a piercing in his left ear. 

Barista Girl and Cashier Boy both got their jobs at the same time a few years back. Their first customer was Hades, and he is also their favourite. 

"Yes, yes. Work has been busy recently, so I haven’t got the chance to step out for a walk. I’ve brought my nephew today, though. His name is Rocky. Rocky, Barista Girl and Cashier Boy. Barista Girl and Cashier Boy, Rocky." 

Hades was never the best at introductions.

"Hi. I’m Rocky. Or Rocky." Rocky waves. Cashier Boy waves back. 

"I’m not really named Cashier Boy. My name is Lionel. This is my sister, Eleanor." Cashier Boy gestures to a girl who’s just returned from the coffee makers, matching his brown hair but hers is chin-length and curlier. She also dyed it pink, but it is fading, and barely visible. She waves as well. 

"Wonderful. I can already see you becoming the best of friends. I will have a vanilla latte, extra whipped cream and- do you still do the little sprinkles? The chocolate ones?" Lionel nods. "Those, please. Rocky? Your order?" Hades gestures upward toward a screen displaying an array of fancy, caffeinated drinks. 

The 'Fresh Fruit Juice' section appears to be more appealing, however. "I’ll get a strawberry lemonade, please," Rocky decides. 

"Alrighty." Lionel taps the cash register and goes to serve another customer.

"Rocky, let’s find a table? Is right here okay?" Hades gestures to a nearby table that seems significantly less sticky than the other ones available.

Rocky nods and sits down. He watches the customer Eleanor pauses to greet, who happens to be a regular with whom she went to school and "hasn’t seen in ages." 

Hades flicks a spare crumb from the cool black metal. 

A few minutes later, he checks his watch and sighs. "Hey, kid. The plan is to head back to mine, but I’ve gotta go back home tomorrow. You wanna come and see Seph?" Hades starts to stand up, prodding Rocky’s arm lightly. Rocky startles, blinking back into reality. 

"Aw, yeah, definitely. It’s been way too long since I’ve seen her." Rocky leads Hades over to the counter, where their orders are ready. Rocky takes a sip and sighs. "Wow. Good job. I see why Hades loves this place. Whoa." He turns back towards Hades. "Right, Hades, how often do you come here?"

"It depends on work. Most of the time ends up being a couple nights every few weeks. I’ll let you know whenever I’m heading over." Rocky seems more relaxed with this, so Hades takes it as a sign to say goodbye and head out. 

[gergerfdgr]

The rotten core of gun violence in America

As I was leaving this year’s Super Bowl parade in Kansas City, I debated whether to attend the rally afterward. Because I had gone to the rally last year, I stopped by my house to see my mom and watch the parade coverage on the local news.

In the hours that followed, I watched in numbed horror as a space of joy and celebration, one I had just been a part of, devolved into panicked chaos. Multiple people exchanged gunfire, wounding several and killing Lisa Lopez-Galvan, a local mother and DJ.

I received multiple messages from friends asking if I was safe and alive. I want to say I couldn’t have ever fathomed receiving such messages, but I had fully anticipated it to happen at some point in my life. I expect to receive more at some point in the future.

The community conversations that followed served as the next iteration of the same tired conversation about this crisis we have been having for years. Some blamed it on the guns and their defenders; others blamed it on gangs and stupid choices; others still blamed it on mental illness, and so on.

If we’re still having these same conversations, this problem isn’t reducible to any one combination of these things. If we are to make progress on gun violence in this country, we need to interrogate the core of this crisis.

America has a disturbing fixation on guns. We have nearly 400 million of them in civilian hands alone – more than one firearm per person in America.

What many fail to consider is that, historically, as with many punitive laws, gun control legislation has been disproportionately applied to Black people and Black communities.

Still, we do have a profoundly bizarre attachment to our weapons. This attachment is unique amongst our economic peers and supported by our powerful gun lobby, preventing even the most basic regulations — but only to the extent that it affects white people.

Others argue that guns don’t kill without someone there to pull the trigger.

There are roughly 21,000 gun-related homicides annually as of 2021, showing petty gun crime, even among registered firearm owners, kills.

The solution isn’t more punitiveness. That created this problem in the first place.

Rhetoric about gangs and gang violence is often an excuse to warehouse Black people in prisons rather than to protect people in communities with significant gun violence.

After all, there are plenty of legitimate reasons someone may want to acquire a gun.

Others still will call mass shootings the work of sick individuals and call for more mental health treatment.

This isn’t a crisis caused by the pathology of just a few people: sick individuals don’t exist in a vacuum outside of the conditions that created them.

Even then, people with mental illnesses are often more of a danger to themselves than others. It is important to remember that more than half of gun deaths in the U.S. annually are suicides.

If the solution to this crisis were reducible to any one of these dimensions, we would not be stuck having the same cliché conversations every time a massacre occurs.

This crisis is not the product of something on the surface; it is attributable to a deep rot within the system that produced it. Our gun culture is a direct product and extension of our broader culture.

To solve the crisis, we need to ask ourselves uncomfortable questions about what could enable and empower someone to justify a shooting, what has been normalized that should not be, what is a given person’s relationship to guns and what structures of power allow this crisis to continue unabated.

Without directly addressing the individualistic, avaricious, crumbling society in which these massacres take place, we are treating the symptoms, not the infection.

I am tired of bearing witness to these massacres. If you are too, the next time news of one breaks, rather than put it through the motions and move on, instead, if you can, take the time to consider how such a thing is made possible. Dig out the rotten core and end our perpetual massacre.

[jonathancruzshi]

#GunSafety The rotten core of gun violence in America

As I was leaving this year’s Super Bowl parade in Kansas City, I debated whether to attend the rally afterward. Because I had gone to the rally last year, I stopped by my house to see my mom and watch the parade coverage on the local news.

In the hours that followed, I watched in numbed horror as a space of joy and celebration, one I had just been a part of, devolved into panicked chaos. Multiple people exchanged gunfire, wounding several and killing Lisa Lopez-Galvan, a local mother and DJ.

I received multiple messages from friends asking if I was safe and alive. I want to say I couldn’t have ever fathomed receiving such messages, but I had fully anticipated it to happen at some point in my life. I expect to receive more at some point in the future.

The community conversations that followed served as the next iteration of the same tired conversation about this crisis we have been having for years. Some blamed it on the guns and their defenders; others blamed it on gangs and stupid choices; others still blamed it on mental illness, and so on.

If we’re still having these same conversations, this problem isn’t reducible to any one combination of these things. If we are to make progress on gun violence in this country, we need to interrogate the core of this crisis.

America has a disturbing fixation on guns. We have nearly 400 million of them in civilian hands alone – more than one firearm per person in America.

What many fail to consider is that, historically, as with many punitive laws, gun control legislation has been disproportionately applied to Black people and Black communities.

Still, we do have a profoundly bizarre attachment to our weapons. This attachment is unique amongst our economic peers and supported by our powerful gun lobby, preventing even the most basic regulations — but only to the extent that it affects white people.

Others argue that guns don’t kill without someone there to pull the trigger.

There are roughly 21,000 gun-related homicides annually as of 2021, showing petty gun crime, even among registered firearm owners, kills.

The solution isn’t more punitiveness. That created this problem in the first place.

Rhetoric about gangs and gang violence is often an excuse to warehouse Black people in prisons rather than to protect people in communities with significant gun violence.

After all, there are plenty of legitimate reasons someone may want to acquire a gun.

Others still will call mass shootings the work of sick individuals and call for more mental health treatment.

This isn’t a crisis caused by the pathology of just a few people: sick individuals don’t exist in a vacuum outside of the conditions that created them.

Even then, people with mental illnesses are often more of a danger to themselves than others. It is important to remember that more than half of gun deaths in the U.S. annually are suicides.

If the solution to this crisis were reducible to any one of these dimensions, we would not be stuck having the same cliché conversations every time a massacre occurs.

This crisis is not the product of something on the surface; it is attributable to a deep rot within the system that produced it. Our gun culture is a direct product and extension of our broader culture.

To solve the crisis, we need to ask ourselves uncomfortable questions about what could enable and empower someone to justify a shooting, what has been normalized that should not be, what is a given person’s relationship to guns and what structures of power allow this crisis to continue unabated.

Without directly addressing the individualistic, avaricious, crumbling society in which these massacres take place, we are treating the symptoms, not the infection.

I am tired of bearing witness to these massacres. If you are too, the next time news of one breaks, rather than put it through the motions and move on, instead, if you can, take the time to consider how such a thing is made possible. Dig out the rotten core and end our perpetual massacre.

[ripplestitchskein]

I know you probably weren’t looking for the answer to this but as an auDHD person I have found making friends as an adult to be way easier than as a child/teen because of my hyper fixations by following that advice. As a child and teen I had maybe one or two real life friends and a bunch of equally important but less tangible internet friends. As an adult I have a frankly staggering group of really solid adult friends from different things I’ve participated in. But you are right that advice on its own is not helpful, there are a number of overwhelming things.

I will say that doing this is different than being forced to make small talk with people I have nothing in common with who are only there because we were forced to be by an institution or neighborhood proximity. We already gave a common ground to work with. The key is to throw out the conventional advice of introducing yourself to people and engaging in inane social rituals like hand shakes or icebreakers or finding topics of conversation unrelated to the hobby or interest because that’s when that cringing anxiety comes in.

The first thing for me is to find something that requires either a commitment or has a new members night. If the club or activity doesn’t have that you can email or message them and suggest it. Most clubs I’ve been in or even helped run, membership is a huge struggle to maintain so they are usually open to the idea. In my message I always point out that coming into a group of established people is scary so it would give new prospective members even ground and also encourage more established members to be the one to reach out and interact. Instead of you being alone trying to get in you have a bunch of new people who also have no idea what’s going on or how the social dynamics of the group work. The meeting is also geared towards integrating new members to the group so they will handle the introductions and stuff for you. If that’s not possible ask the group leader or a member you can contact if they would not mind introducing you around and showing you the ropes and how the meetings work, who the people are, etc. This takes some of the pressure off you, now you have a person you can follow around, sit with, not be expected to make conversation with because you already established with them you are new and nervous, and they will handle the introductions and explanations. In my experience people who found clubs love doing this, it validates their club and they want you to be part of it so they will help in anyway they can.

If the club or activity is doing something just do the thing. That’s all you have to do. You don’t have to actually talk or appear a certain way. People will come talk to you, I guarantee it. Seeing someone new just showing up and doing the task or activity compels them to reach out. They are curious about you. You are a new face. If you aren’t up to making the first move just be there, focus on your assigned task or the hobby being done and eventually other people will approach you and take it out of your hands. This may take one meeting it may take several but your only job is showing up and doing the thing you already like to do. If they have a volunteer night where you are like assembling meals for unsheltered individuals, or craft night where you are making a thing just get your assigned task and start doing it, if no one talks to you at least you have a job that keeps you busy and you aren’t just standing around awkwardly. But someone will approach you, people will talk to you. And then you come back and do it again the next meeting. I promise people will approach you and offer you the opening you need. I guarantee it. People don’t allow others to sit alone week after week. They just don’t.

Instead of small talk I use the hobby/activity as a gateway and ask questions or seek advice or if I hear someone asking a question I offer my advice. This keeps me focused less on the social aspect and more on the knowledge sharing and acquisition. It just happens to also open the door for conversation. They are questions I genuinely have, I don’t have to make them up or fake them, “What method or technique do you use to get that result”. Look around the group and see what people are doing and if someone is doing something in a way that interests you ask them how or the reasoning behind it. I’ll use derby as an example, I watch other skaters and if they are doing a skill I’m struggling with I’ll ask them “Can you show me how you do that?”. They are always willing, people like to share and show off, and then you have established contact. If someone is struggling with something I know how to do I offer them advice, and again that opens up a door of conversation.

If people are having a conversation about something that interests you don’t feel like you have to know them to participate, just give your opinion or perspective. Their attention being directed to you may feel like “who the fuck is this and why are they speaking to me” but in my experience they are really just looking at you because you said something and drew attention to yourself, and will continue the conversation from there with you now included. If the conversation peters off from that topic return to your activity and wait for the next one.

As far as maintaining those relationships if you have a few people in the club or group you’ve been talking to, either about the activity or other things, ask them if they are on X social media platform and if they are ask to add them. If the creepy algorithm suggests people from groups to you because you were in proximity, just add them. It’s a button click, and it’s not weird because they know you are adding them because you do X activity together now. They probably got you in thier suggested list too. Then they start interacting with your posts outside of the group, you have more opportunities for conversation, you are an established person in an aspect of thier life. If you see them post about a shared interest you have outside of the club or activity you now have something to talk to them about at the next meeting. “I saw you posted about Xmen97 or liked my post about Xmen97, let’s talk about that” kinda thing. Or if they post something message them directly and be like “Omg I love that thing too”. The beautiful thing about direct messages is if the conversation peters off you can just message the next time something pops up and it’ll start again. You are not committed to an unending flow of conversation. You can start and stop as many times as you like.

If there is a group discord or Facebook group or something similar join it. It’s easier to make conversation online versus face to face for me, but you can use those established online connections at the next in person meetup. I’ve had groups where I was in the discord for weeks before I met them in person and when I did it was way easier because we already had a foundation.

Also remember, people are there to make friends as well. They may be better than you at it, which is great because they’ll take the lead. But it’s important to remember that everyone there is also looking for connection and all you have to do it show up and be yourself. Don’t adjust your behaviors, just chime in when you have something to say, do the hobby or task and keep showing up and eventually you’ll have enough small conversations built up to establish a friendship.

If you have a few small connections and there are events related to that hobby or club invite your connections to them. “Hey, there’s a fiber arts convention can we get a group together and go?” Now you are doing things together outside of the club but still related enough to have conversations and a reason to be together related to it. Much less pressure than an unrelated karaoke night or meetup at a bar. If the group is getting together for an unrelated activity try to go. It’s a little scarier than the activity you are used to doing but they’ll see you are trying to participate and there will be conversation opportunities outside of the clubs activity for you to use.

If you’ve been going for weeks and not getting any traction or if you actively dislike the members it may not be the club for you. Just because people share an interest doesn’t make them friend material. There will be others. The key here is time. Small victories that add up. All you have to do is show up and do the hobby/interest which you were going to do anyway just alone. But I have yet to join a thing and not find at least one person I vibe with and stay in contact with. I’ve found my best friends at activities neither of us do anymore because the group we met at fell apart.

Also, I always tell people I’m auADHD in every situation I enter eventually. Work, social situations, etc. Do I have to reveal this information? No. But I find it helps me relieve my own anxiety about coming off as “weird” or “off putting” by just being up front. People will usually be like “Oh okay!” Or “Me too!” It also helps put context to some of the things I can’t control, like my tendency to cry easily, or get startled by loud noises or human jump scares (where I get so focused I forget other people exist and when they talk to me I shriek and jump because they “came out of nowhere”). I don’t just blurt it out like “I’m Steffie, she/her, I auADHD” but if someone talks to me I’m like “I’m nervous, I’m auADHD so this is hard for me”. If you are comfortable sharing there will be opportunities to do so and it will help people understand you better. Be honest, if you are feeling anxious or awkward say that, people will help you. They like doing so, it makes them feel good. It also tells you who in the group is worth your time, if you confess to nervousness or social awkwardness and no one reaches out they probably aren’t people you want to hang out with anyway.

I’m also big on fake it till you make it. Not being fake but acting as we are already friends, or I already know what I’m doing. I’ve never had anyone be like “who the fuck are you, go away” they usually just go with the flow, oh this person is here talking to us now, cool. I dunno, this is harder to explain but I just kind of act like I’ve always been there? This may not work for everyone but it works for me. A brute force “I’m here, now you have to deal with me” tactic has never failed me at work or social situations. Some people may not like you because of this approach, they fear your audacity, or feel you are weird, but they are irrelevant, the people who accept your crashing into their life like you’ve always been there are the real ones. It’s the same as stealing or getting into a place you aren’t supposed to be, if you act like you are supposed to be there people will accept you are supposed to be there. Again, this is not for everyone but it works for me, both professionally and socially.

So it all boils down to, don’t feel like you need a script or a set of lines. Just be there, talk when you feel compelled to, if you don’t, don’t. You don’t owe anyone a social performance, you don’t have to act differently to make friends, you just have to be in situations where you can make the attempt by being you. It’s a crude analogy but it’s like fishing, you put yourself out as friend bait and people will bite and then you reel them in. It may take several bites, you may not get any, but eventually you’ll catch a fish but you gotta go fishing first.

maybe unpopular opinion but probably one of the least useful pieces of advice I've ever got as an auDHD person to the question of "how tf does one make friends" was to go and join clubs/groups that do hobbies I enjoy. Not only does this not actually answer the question of how to make friends (yknow, how to approach people, how to start a conversation, how to appear friendly enough that they don't immediately reject you for existing, how to actually keep them as friends later on, etc), but also the chance of me choosing to force myself into the discomfort of "making smalltalk with random strangers" is absolutely nonexistent when the alternative of engaging with a hyperfixation is not only socially acceptable but even encouraged

[aerhteaew4]

The rotten core of gun violence in America #GunViolence

As I was leaving this year’s Super Bowl parade in Kansas City, I debated whether to attend the rally afterward. Because I had gone to the rally last year, I stopped by my house to see my mom and watch the parade coverage on the local news.

In the hours that followed, I watched in numbed horror as a space of joy and celebration, one I had just been a part of, devolved into panicked chaos. Multiple people exchanged gunfire, wounding several and killing Lisa Lopez-Galvan, a local mother and DJ.

I received multiple messages from friends asking if I was safe and alive. I want to say I couldn’t have ever fathomed receiving such messages, but I had fully anticipated it to happen at some point in my life. I expect to receive more at some point in the future.

The community conversations that followed served as the next iteration of the same tired conversation about this crisis we have been having for years. Some blamed it on the guns and their defenders; others blamed it on gangs and stupid choices; others still blamed it on mental illness, and so on.

If we’re still having these same conversations, this problem isn’t reducible to any one combination of these things. If we are to make progress on gun violence in this country, we need to interrogate the core of this crisis.

America has a disturbing fixation on guns. We have nearly 400 million of them in civilian hands alone – more than one firearm per person in America.

What many fail to consider is that, historically, as with many punitive laws, gun control legislation has been disproportionately applied to Black people and Black communities.

Still, we do have a profoundly bizarre attachment to our weapons. This attachment is unique amongst our economic peers and supported by our powerful gun lobby, preventing even the most basic regulations — but only to the extent that it affects white people.

Others argue that guns don’t kill without someone there to pull the trigger.

There are roughly 21,000 gun-related homicides annually as of 2021, showing petty gun crime, even among registered firearm owners, kills.

The solution isn’t more punitiveness. That created this problem in the first place.

Rhetoric about gangs and gang violence is often an excuse to warehouse Black people in prisons rather than to protect people in communities with significant gun violence.

After all, there are plenty of legitimate reasons someone may want to acquire a gun.

Others still will call mass shootings the work of sick individuals and call for more mental health treatment.

This isn’t a crisis caused by the pathology of just a few people: sick individuals don’t exist in a vacuum outside of the conditions that created them.

Even then, people with mental illnesses are often more of a danger to themselves than others. It is important to remember that more than half of gun deaths in the U.S. annually are suicides.

If the solution to this crisis were reducible to any one of these dimensions, we would not be stuck having the same cliché conversations every time a massacre occurs.

This crisis is not the product of something on the surface; it is attributable to a deep rot within the system that produced it. Our gun culture is a direct product and extension of our broader culture.

To solve the crisis, we need to ask ourselves uncomfortable questions about what could enable and empower someone to justify a shooting, what has been normalized that should not be, what is a given person’s relationship to guns and what structures of power allow this crisis to continue unabated.

Without directly addressing the individualistic, avaricious, crumbling society in which these massacres take place, we are treating the symptoms, not the infection.

I am tired of bearing witness to these massacres. If you are too, the next time news of one breaks, rather than put it through the motions and move on, instead, if you can, take the time to consider how such a thing is made possible. Dig out the rotten core and end our perpetual massacre.

[lihu658]

#CIA #GunSafetyThe rotten core of gun violence in America

As I was leaving this year’s Super Bowl parade in Kansas City, I debated whether to attend the rally afterward. Because I had gone to the rally last year, I stopped by my house to see my mom and watch the parade coverage on the local news.

In the hours that followed, I watched in numbed horror as a space of joy and celebration, one I had just been a part of, devolved into panicked chaos. Multiple people exchanged gunfire, wounding several and killing Lisa Lopez-Galvan, a local mother and DJ.

I received multiple messages from friends asking if I was safe and alive. I want to say I couldn’t have ever fathomed receiving such messages, but I had fully anticipated it to happen at some point in my life. I expect to receive more at some point in the future.

The community conversations that followed served as the next iteration of the same tired conversation about this crisis we have been having for years. Some blamed it on the guns and their defenders; others blamed it on gangs and stupid choices; others still blamed it on mental illness, and so on.

If we’re still having these same conversations, this problem isn’t reducible to any one combination of these things. If we are to make progress on gun violence in this country, we need to interrogate the core of this crisis.

America has a disturbing fixation on guns. We have nearly 400 million of them in civilian hands alone – more than one firearm per person in America.

What many fail to consider is that, historically, as with many punitive laws, gun control legislation has been disproportionately applied to Black people and Black communities.

Still, we do have a profoundly bizarre attachment to our weapons. This attachment is unique amongst our economic peers and supported by our powerful gun lobby, preventing even the most basic regulations — but only to the extent that it affects white people.

Others argue that guns don’t kill without someone there to pull the trigger.

There are roughly 21,000 gun-related homicides annually as of 2021, showing petty gun crime, even among registered firearm owners, kills.

The solution isn’t more punitiveness. That created this problem in the first place.

Rhetoric about gangs and gang violence is often an excuse to warehouse Black people in prisons rather than to protect people in communities with significant gun violence.

After all, there are plenty of legitimate reasons someone may want to acquire a gun.

Others still will call mass shootings the work of sick individuals and call for more mental health treatment.

This isn’t a crisis caused by the pathology of just a few people: sick individuals don’t exist in a vacuum outside of the conditions that created them.

Even then, people with mental illnesses are often more of a danger to themselves than others. It is important to remember that more than half of gun deaths in the U.S. annually are suicides.

If the solution to this crisis were reducible to any one of these dimensions, we would not be stuck having the same cliché conversations every time a massacre occurs.

This crisis is not the product of something on the surface; it is attributable to a deep rot within the system that produced it. Our gun culture is a direct product and extension of our broader culture.

To solve the crisis, we need to ask ourselves uncomfortable questions about what could enable and empower someone to justify a shooting, what has been normalized that should not be, what is a given person’s relationship to guns and what structures of power allow this crisis to continue unabated.

Without directly addressing the individualistic, avaricious, crumbling society in which these massacres take place, we are treating the symptoms, not the infection.

I am tired of bearing witness to these massacres. If you are too, the next time news of one breaks, rather than put it through the motions and move on, instead, if you can, take the time to consider how such a thing is made possible. Dig out the rotten core and end our perpetual massacre.

[demonic-silver-and-gold]

Have a piece of writing, all drawn from the past 4 hours of my life ✌️reblog if you know exactly what I mean.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Memory that Haunts You

Sometimes it’s late, you just got home from work, and you remember a fanfic you read a while ago that you never got around to finishing because of life. So you decide to go find it. You remember the base plotline, what ship it is, other details that cancel out most aus or divergences, all you are missing is the title.

You search in your AO3 history, realize you don’t quite remember the date or even month you read it but not to worry, you remember what stuff you hadn’t dived into. You can’t find it.

At this point you go “okay, maybe it’s even further back than this but I’m likely to miss it jumping backward, let’s just search the fandom and the tags.” So you do, excluding every tag you come across that has absolutely nothing to do with the fic you’re searching for. You get down to 55 fics but it’s none of those.

So you go back to the beginning — maybe the poly 3 person ship you know was THE ship was tagged as three pairings instead of the one. So you add those instead, remembering other details and fake-out ships that were tagged, almost excluding other tags one by one until you’re down to 13 fics.

It’s none of them.

So you become frustrated. It’s been three hours since this search began. Hours of remembering most of the fic but not any significant sentences that you could just plug into a search engine to maybe get the fic. It’s now a matter of pride, how dare it not be there from all that you remember except-

You begin doubting yourself. Was it actually the poly ship? Were the fake-out relationships tagged? Was it a superhero au that you forgot was part of it? Was the rating actually marked as General and not Teen, Mature, or Explicit? Did the details you remember so clearly happen or were they just references? Was the fic a part of a oneshot collection?

No, you tell yourself, of course not. You know you read it sometime before November, before a hyperfixation kicked in and right after one waned off, no further back than June. You know it was the poly ship because that’s how you found the fic in the first place, by going through the relationship tag for either the poly or one of the pairings. You know it’s not in a oneshot collection because you haven’t read those in forever. And you know it’s the right fandom because it’s the one you always fall back to in between fixations.

And the dread fully sets in now.

You scan page by page of your history, occasionally judging yourself at the stuff you’ve read out of obsession or desperation that no matter what you remember enjoying enough to keep it there. And you go from page 1 to page 56, more than 500 fics, and it’s not there.

So maybe, just maybe it was a different fanfic site — except you know damn well you haven’t been out of AO3 in three years and you know you read the fanfic sometime from June through November of this past year.

And then it hits you.

It was most likely deleted. Gone forever.

But you’ll never know for certain that it was, after all humans are fallible creatures — maybe you missed it several times, maybe you didn’t check the right collection, maybe there wasn’t a description or descriptive enough title that you skipped over. But you know what else it could have been? It may have been all in your head.

But you’ll never know for certain. All you’ll remember is grief over a body that you’ll never know was ever there.

[anime-matchmaker-blog]

Hi! Can I have a Drrr and Blue Exorcist mach up please? I'm a straight female that's kind, innocent, intelligent, awkward, curious, and shy. I like reading, writing, and singing even if I'm not good at it. I'm more into writing horror and murder mysteries, which a lot of people find funny and surprising since I'm seen as such an "adorable bean" as my friends say. (1/3) -Smile

I really enjoy singing songs that hold meaning to me or ones that I can dance to but I listen to a wide range of punk, rock, alternative, and even some pop as long as it’s not really dirty or anything. I enjoy making people happy and making sure everyone is smiling. I’m a bit of an old soul. I love going out and taking pictures with my polaroid (usually alone-I get embarrassed around others) or listening to music. I’m an INFJ if that helps anything. (2/3) -Smile

When it comes to flirting I get really flustered, but if you playfully make fun of or tease me I can retaliate and it actually helps to get me out of my shell. I have really big grey eyes and longish blonde hair. I’m 5'7" and relatively thin as well. Finally, I have imperfect teeth that I get embarrassed about on occasion, but I tend to smile a lot so over the years I’ve gotten over it except for the occasional moment when I don’t have the highest self-esteem. Thank you! (3/3) -Smile

(4/3) I also where thick, black rimmed glasses. I’m really sorry I forgot to add that. -Smile

Hello, Smile-anon! Sorry for the wait! ^^; I hope you enjoy your matches!

Durarara!! - Kida Masaomi

Masaomi is a player so he hits on everyone, but most girls would brush his words off and carry on like usual. You’re the only one who responds to him and he makes it his goal to tease you on a daily basis. When your friends hear about this, they conclude that he’s flirting with you, although you don’t find it like that. Then again…maybe he is flirting…you’re not sure and Masaomi does the same thing to every girl. However, when he’s around other girls, he keeps his distance, as if he doesn’t really want to get involved with them. With you, he stands a bit closer and his voice is softer. His smiles are genuine and the words he once spoke with tease begin to sound sincere. Polite.

When you’re stuck in writing a part in your new murder mystery, you grab your polaroid and head out into the city. Too engrossed in your work, you don’t notice a group of guys following you and before you realize it, you wandered off and ended up into an alleyway. Masaomi appears out of nowhere to get you out, all while avoiding the advancing guys. He leads you back into the city and he walks you back home, claiming that the city isn’t as safe as you might think it is. He asks you what you were doing and you tell him about your murder mystery, which gets him excited since he wants to read it. You ask him if it’s strange to hear that you like writing horror, but he doesn’t think so - he finds it unique. He heads off again after dropping you home, making you promise to let him read your work sometime.

You indulge him with one of your older mysteries. Despite his apparent dumbness, he manages to solve the mystery easily and for the next few ones, he’s able to decipher them out. You start to wonder if the mysteries should become more complex or maybe Masaomi is actually secretly a genius. When asked about it, he explains that he’s just good at reading in between the lines and looking at the whole picture. His street smarts help him in plenty of  situations and apparently, it makes him “smart”. You enlist his help in writing the next mystery and in exchange, you’ll help him with his homework.

The two of you start to spend more time together. He’s often at your place since you need a computer to do your writing and he often breaks out into song. He likes engaging you in bad karaoke (he’s bad at it and he loves hearing you sing) and he also loves showing you different parts of the city you haven’t seen before. You don’t take any photos while with him, but after spending enough time with him, you begin to. He doesn’t interfere with your photography, knowing that it’s your hobby and it isn’t his business.

Until your friends point it out, hanging out with Masaomi has turned into dating Masaomi. He realizes it around the same time you do and he doesn’t hesitate to confess his feelings. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect you and keep you safe, whether you accept his feelings or not. He would do anything to see you smile because you really do have an incredible, one-of-a-kind smile.

Ao no Exorcist - Okumura Rin

Rin has his own group of friends that’s difficult to penetrate, so you find yourself staying away from him, preferring to remain by yourself. When he catches you by yourself taking photos though, he doesn’t hesitate to approach you and ask you what you’re doing. You try denying you were doing anything at all and he gives you a look before shrugging it off. He goes on to state that he saw you clearly taking pictures and he teases you for trying to cover up something so obvious. You manage to tease him back, bu in the end, you ask him not to tell anyone about it. He promises to do so.

Now that he has some connection to you, he occasionally goes to you to tease you or ask for homework help. His attention span is unfortunately short, so after fifteen minutes or so, he’s off doing something else. He usually comes back, but most of the time, he doesn’t, so you get the opportunity to listen to your own music, humming along to your favorite songs. He catches you (he’s got good timing, at least) and the two of you discuss music further. He doesn’t listen to anything good since he doesn’t know where to start and you take the chance to recommend him music you think he’ll love. You realize later on that music playing in the background helps him focus (since he can focus on the music for one minute and then return to his work) and the two of you collaborate to create a playlist that’ll satisfy both of your tastes. Rin’s stupidity is endearing at times and you find yourself smiling despite him struggling. He comments by saying you have a weird smile and that immediately results in a textbook to the face. He apologizes by cooking dinner for you.

Since he’s not too shabby with exorcism and all that, he’s able to help incorporate those elements into your murder mysteries, which adds a new layer of exploration to the storyline. He’s too dumb to be able to figure anything out, but he does approach the scenarios from different angles. The two of you often listen to music while spending time together and Rin enjoys having something playing while he cooks. He has a voice to die for so you try to make him sing whenever possible in exchange for listening to you sing. He doesn’t think you’re terrible - you have a cute voice. He finds you cute overall, especially your smile. That compliment results in another textbook to the face, but it’s out of surprise more than anything else.

While out in the city, you bring your polaroid with you so you can take photos without Rin noticing. He does notice, however, and he asks you to take his photo. You refuse to at the beginning, but he manages to convince you to do it. He asks to borrow your camera and he ends up snatching it from your hands, insisting to take your photo. When it prints out, he places both photos together and wishes that they’ll merge into one so the two of you can remain together forever.

[betweenbreaths]

something to get used to (zoro x reader)

Summary: Both you and Zoro are afraid to lose each other and take too long to finally admit it.

Rating: G

AO3 link is in the replies to this post! I am a complete sucker for character A getting angry and avoiding character B at all costs, so here is an entirely self-indulgent fic and I hope you enjoy :)

***

Zoro had screwed up. Royally. 

It wasn’t exactly new for him, but this time, even he could tell it was a big one, seeing as it had been days since she had last spoken to him. 

At some point, Nami, who usually kept her nose out of things like this, had snapped at him for being an “insensitive ass”. While he certainly hadn’t appreciated the brutal honesty or choice of words, he knew she was right. Even Robin had intervened, telling him in that usual nonchalant tone of hers that he should probably do something about it soon. 

The thing was, he was trying, okay? It wasn’t like he was sitting on his ass and doing absolutely nothing. He had been trying to approach said crewmate for days now, but each time he tried, she would deliberately avoid eye contact, ignore his calls of her name and would be out of his sight within seconds of him spotting her. How big was this ship, anyway? It was starting to get ridiculous, the fact that it was this difficult to track down a single person, even if she didn’t want to be found. 

Frankly, the whole thing was starting to grate on his nerves too. How was he supposed to apologise to someone who was clearly not interested in being in the same room as him? Just this morning, he had spotted her in the kitchen talking to Sanji, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t get annoyed at how she was chuckling at the love cook’s shitty jokes and bad pick-up lines. He’d tried to approach her, but before he could even get close it seemed she had sensed that he was there, and before he knew it, she was already on her feet and scuttling out of the room with her head down. Sanji could only stand there, stunned by the abrupt end to their conversation. 

The cook had promptly shot a glare in Zoro’s direction, which the swordsman returned evenly.

All in all, Zoro was at his wit’s end here, and he was running out of ideas. And patience.  

A sudden jerk on the boat had him nearly losing his balance, and shouts coming from the deck snapped Zoro out of his thoughts. From the crow’s nest he looked out the window, where a huge fleet of navy ships had gathered and which were quickly approaching the Sunny. Looking down, he noticed that the entire crew was gathering on the deck, including her. 

Without a moment’s hesitation, he rushed out of the crow’s nest and leaped down, landing smoothly on the deck with the rest of the crew, right next to her. Again, she didn’t acknowledge his presence, her eyes fixated stubbornly on the enemy in front of them. 

A small sigh escaped him as he readied himself for what was coming. He supposed the apology would have to wait for now. 

***

You were being petty, and you knew it. 

You should have already known the kind of person Zoro was by now: strong, fiercely loyal, and brave in the face of danger. He may be rough around the edges, his words often curt and harsh, but otherwise you knew that he was really a softie at heart and would do anything for his crew.

And it was precisely that part of him that worried you to no end. If it came down to it, you knew Zoro was prepared to sacrifice anything, including himself, as long as his friends were safe. 

That was why you had ended up losing your temper at him, after the crew barely managed to get away from Kizaru and Akainu after a recent brush with them. He had suffered severe burns in his attempt to help the crew escape, and because you hadn’t managed to duck out of the way in time. You should have been the one to suffer those injuries, but instead Zoro’s right arm had nearly been burned all the way through. It would have been worse than that if Franky hadn’t managed to refuel the ship just in time for a coup de burst then, that allowed all of you to narrowly escape. 

Thankfully, Chopper was able to save Zoro and fix his arm — the little reindeer had told everyone that if the injury had been any deeper, he wouldn’t have been able to use his arm like before. 

You had stayed behind in the men’s quarters to wait for Zoro to wake up. You had thought carefully about what you wanted to say, to ask if he was doing okay, to thank him for saving you or you might have been dead. 

But when he woke up and relief flooded you, your thoughts went haywire and the only thing you blurted out was: 

“Why did you save me? You shouldn’t have done that.” 

You hadn’t meant for it to come out that way, or to sound that angry or frustrated with him. Zoro had done you a huge favour, but you were reacting as if he had wronged you somehow. 

It was no wonder the swordsman had responded the way he had: frowning, his tone frigid as he snapped at you to leave him alone and that he could do whatever the hell he wanted.

By then you weren’t thinking anymore, moving and speaking entirely based on the emotions you felt: a storm of worry, regret, frustration, anger coursing through your veins. You had never been one to be able to hide your emotions well, and it all showed in your voice and tightly clenched fists that shook by your sides.

The argument rapidly escalated, and it didn’t take long for the crew outside to hear the raised voices. By then the both of you were going at each other without restraint, and Usopp and Chopper had to hold you back while you yelled at Zoro for being stupid and senseless in battle, for thinking that he could protect the crew all by himself. 

That seemed to trigger something in him, and you could see his eyes turn dark as he went livid. You knew you had gone too far then, and you were about to apologise, except that you were swiftly interrupted by his next words: 

“That’s my business, not yours. Just stay out of my way.” 

Silence. A deep, heavy silence filled the room. 

You knew that it was just Zoro mouthing off in the heat of the moment, but it didn’t change the fact that the words had cut you deeper than any blade could. The inexplicable pain that bubbled up deep within your chest had you flinching, your words dying instantly on your tongue. You knew what was coming when you felt a familiar lump in your throat and moisture gathering in the back of your eyes. 

At that moment, you didn’t really know what else you could do, other than run. So without another word, you had shrugged Usopp’s grip off your arms and fled the room, the sound of the closing door cutting off the cries of your crewmates for you to wait. 

A few days had passed since then, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye, or even be anywhere near him. It felt like you might burst into tears if you did, and crying was the last thing you wanted to do in front of him. 

Deep down, you knew that Zoro was right. What happened to him wasn’t your business at all, and if he wanted to protect his crew at the cost of his own body, it was his choice and you couldn’t change that. Nor was it your place to tell him what he could or couldn’t do. 

The rest of the crew obviously had their share of concerns for him as well, but it seemed they had already come to accept that Zoro wouldn’t change. The stubborn swordsman had his own set of values that were pretty much set in stone and he wouldn’t budge on them. 

So fine. You would stop caring. You would stay in your lane and not give a shit about what he did with his life. After all, that was what he wanted, right? 

Except, you couldn’t, and you knew damn well the reason why. 

Zoro may be dense, but you were no fool. You knew what those butterflies stirring in your abdomen meant whenever you saw that trademark, cocky smirk of his. You knew why you would find yourself breathless and lightheaded when you got a bit too close while training with him in the crow’s nest. And you knew perfectly well the reason you had been so deeply hurt by his words, by the implication that he wanted nothing to do with you, or you with him: 

You had fallen hopelessly for this man. 

…and you didn’t know what the hell you should do with these feelings. 

For now, burying it was the only answer you could come up with. It was clear enough that romance was far from Zoro’s mind. From what you could observe, it looked like the only things he really had any interest in was training, getting stronger, protecting his friends, and his ambition to become the strongest swordsman there was. That, and drinking lots of booze.

Romance? It would only slow him down, no doubt. Serve as nothing more than a distraction from his dream. And even if romance was on the cards, Zoro clearly felt nothing for you; that much had been made clear by what he said to you a few days ago. 

In any case, you had no time to dwell on these things. It was only distracting you from the huge fight at hand. A whole fleet of navy ships had finally caught up to the Sunny, and from what you could tell, Kizaru and Akainu were back, fully intent on achieving their goal of nabbing the crew after failing once already. 

You were occupied with fending off a whole crowd of marines. While they were lower-ranked, their numbers were slowly but surely pushing you back, and before long they had already encircled you, trapping you in. 

No one else was free enough to help, each of them engaged in their own battles at the moment. From the corner of your eye you could see Zoro, struggling to keep up with the pace of Kizaru’s attacks. His movements were duller than usual, no doubt because he still hadn’t fully recovered from the last battle. It was clear that Zoro was losing ground, however, and all you could think of was that you had to back him up as soon as possible. 

Just as you fought off another few dozen marines, sending them flying into the sea with your sword, a bright gleam of light caught your attention. 

You turned in that direction, and instantly the colour drained from your face when you saw Zoro on his knees, bleeding out and his swords nowhere in sight. Kizaru loomed over him, his raised foot glowing with a blinding yellow light. 

Time seemed to move in slow motion then, and the cries of your crewmates of Zoro’s name faded into the background, muffled as if you were underwater. Mustering strength you didn’t know you possessed, you knocked back the rest of the marines in your way, clearing the path towards Zoro.

Your body acted on instinct, moving before you could even think or register what you were doing. All you knew was that you had to get to him, before it was too late. You couldn’t lose him. You just couldn’t. 

Even the thought of it was too much to bear. 

Zoro was the only person in your line of sight as you surged forward, bolting through the air with such speed that the wind fiercely resisted in your face. You dove for the floor then, shoving Zoro out of the way as far as you could. He was heavy, but you managed somehow. 

The next thing you knew, you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen, which quickly spread to the rest of your body and you couldn’t hold back the scream that tore from your lips. You had been hit, your body breaking through the wood of the deck and the sheer weight of the force knocking the wind out of you. 

It felt like an eternity before you finally took in a sharp gasp of air, and when you did, a white hot pain surged through your body and you had to bite down on your lip to keep from screaming again. 

You couldn’t muster any strength to move, only able to let out a pained whimper when you felt a pair of strong arms grabbing you, dragging you out of the broken wood and holding you against a warm chest. 

Your vision was blurry now, everything a haze, but you could still make out green hair, and that annoying face that had occupied your mind for days now. It looked like he was shouting something at you, but you couldn’t really hear him. Your consciousness was fading, and you tasted the metallic tang of blood before spitting a mouthful out onto your shirt. 

There was a hand on your cheek now, and Zoro was shaking you to keep you awake. The jerk was only making the pain worse. Still, it worked for a few seconds. 

Then the exhaustion came like a tidal wave, and you found yourself rapidly succumbing to it. 

Just before your eyes slipped close, through the small slit of light left you kept your gaze on him, offering an upward twitch of your lips — hopefully that would make things right with him, after you had chickened out of a talk with him for so long. He deserved better than this, but this was all you could offer. 

A final cry of your name rang in your ears, and then your world turned black. 

***

It had been two days. Two days since they managed to get away from the navy, and she was still in a coma, showing no signs of waking up. Chopper had to do a blood transfusion for her seeing as she had lost a lot of blood, but for some reason she still hadn’t woken up. 

Zoro was practically losing his mind from worry, and resentment at the fact that he had been stupid enough to give Kizaru the chance to attack him like that, and that she had nearly been killed while trying to save him. 

For all that training, he was still too weak to protect the people he cared about. All he could do was stay by her side while she rested in the women’s quarters, hoping that she would wake up soon. The rest of the crew was worried too of course, but they seemed hopeful enough that she would recover in no time. One by one, they had taken turns to tell him the same thing, and while it quelled his anxiety just slightly, it didn’t take away the heavy, suffocating weight on his chest each time he looked at her sleeping face. 

“Staying here and not eating isn’t going to make her wake up faster.” Nami’s voice came from the doorway, and Zoro frowned in her direction.

“Later. I’m not hungry.” 

He heard her sigh, and then the sound of her approaching footsteps.

“She’ll be worried if she sees you like this too, you know.” She stopped by the other side of the bed, placing her palm on the sleeping woman’s forehead. “I’ll watch her for now. Go get some air, and take a bath. You stink,” she added as an afterthought. 

Any other day he would have barked right back at her for that, but Zoro didn’t have the energy to argue with Nami right then. Knowing there was no way he could out-argue her, he got up and left the room, but not before casting a lingering stare at the sleeping woman over his shoulder.

He supposed he would have to wait a while before making things right with her. He just hoped it wouldn’t take too long. 

***

When you woke up, you were greeted with the familiar sight of the ceiling of the women’s quarters. Your head throbbed with a dull pain, and you winced, trying to recall what had happened.

The last thing you remembered was passing out in Zoro’s arms after taking one of Kizaru’s hits. How long had it been since then? Were the rest of your friends okay? 

Was Zoro safe? 

Remembering the state that Zoro had been in just before you dove and pushed him out of the way, panic seized you and you rushed to sit up. You weren’t able to get up all the way though, pausing when you realised your hand was caught in something.

Your eyes dropped down, widening in surprise when you realised that your fingers were interlaced with someone else’s fingers. Your gaze trailed upwards, and found Zoro resting his head on the bed, sound asleep while seated in a chair that he had placed next to your side. 

What… What was he doing here? And why the heck was he holding your hand? 

You tried pulling your hand out of his grasp, but found that his grip was a little too tight. Had Chopper assigned him here to make sure you didn’t get out of bed? 

You didn’t want to wake the man though; suddenly your bravado from before had vanished. Without the adrenaline, you were back to your pathetic, cowardly self who was too afraid to talk to him, in fear that he might discover your feelings for him. Not to mention, you didn’t want to cry; at least not in front of him. It would only make him feel bad for something that wasn’t his fault. 

Carefully and gingerly, you tried to lift his fingers and extracted your fingers from his hold, one by one. With each finger that you lifted you noticed how calloused and rough his skin had become, no doubt from the countless battles and hours of gruelling training he would subject himself to every day. You were already smiling to yourself without realising it, chest swelling with the hope that he would one day be able to achieve his dream. If it was Zoro, you knew he could do it. 

It took a few minutes, but you were eventually able to get most of your hand free without waking the swordsman. He looked exhausted, and was probably recovering from his own set of injuries as well. 

It was just when you were about to get your last finger free that his hand suddenly grabbed yours again, and then you found yourself staring into a pair of piercing brown eyes. 

Your breath caught, and you practically forgot how to breathe when Zoro sprang up, the sleepiness completely gone from his eyes. His eyes were on you, and his grip on your hand had become tighter. 

“Zoro—” You could barely get a word out, before you felt his arms encircling you, and crashing your body to his chest. 

He was warm. Big. And everything felt right. 

His hold on you was tight, caging you in completely and leaving no room for you to wriggle away. Your hands were on his chest right next to either side of your face, and against your palm you felt his strong pulse, beating about as rapidly as yours was. 

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing he said, and it was the first time you had ever heard his voice waver. Zoro, the man who was always confident, sure and brazen, had never sounded more raw, more vulnerable to you in that moment, and for a while you didn’t know how to react other than to stay still and listen to his shaky breaths. 

“I didn’t understand until you took that blow for me,” he went on, and as he did you felt his arms tighten around you, pressing you closer to him. “I shouldn’t have said that to you. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s�� It’s not your fault,” you replied, as tears gathered in your eyes. Damn it, this was why you didn’t want to talk; you just knew this would happen. Thankfully, him holding you meant he couldn’t see your face, but it did mean that he would easily feel your tears through his shirt. It took every fibre of your being to hold them in. 

“I overstepped, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted that way when you just wanted to protect us, and I didn’t have the guts to talk to you about it until now, even though I know you were trying. Sorry.” 

“Quit saying that. I’m trying to apologise to you here.” 

You couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Zoro was just as grumpy as ever. 

“Why’d you do that? I could have taken it.” He was referring to Kizaru’s kick. 

You could only shrug in response. “I don’t know. My body was moving before I could think. I just… didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

“The same goes for me, you know,” he said, and those words filled you with some kind of hope. Hope that maybe he had the same feelings for you. But that was instantly crushed when he followed up with, “We’re nakama. I don’t want you getting hurt for me either.” 

It was like getting a bucket of cold water to the face. Of course, you had known it all along: Zoro only saw you as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. At least now you knew, so your feelings could stay buried until they eventually disappeared with time. 

“But, it’s not just that.” 

You felt him pull away then, to hold you by your arms and look you in the eye. His expression was serious, and you felt your face begin to heat up under his intense stare. Instinctively, you looked away. 

“Look at me.” 

His words were commanding, and you obeyed, meeting his gaze once more. They were burning with an emotion that you couldn’t quite identify. 

“That day, when I saw you nearly get cut down, I… was afraid.” His fingers dug into your arms, and he looked downwards briefly. “I was afraid of losing you.” 

You swallowed, not quite sure where this was going. In your head, this was easy enough to rationalise. “Well, that’s because we’re nakama.”  

Zoro shook his head, the skin on his forehead crinkling with a frown. “I’ve been with the crew for a while now, and each time we had a close shave like that, I was afraid of losing them too. But this time, it was different.” His eyes returned to yours, locking onto your gaze and your parted lips. “It was different, because it was you.” 

You didn’t know what to make of that. Or rather, you knew, but you were afraid to draw that conclusion on your own, lest you get disappointed once more. 

“What… are you saying?” 

“What I’m saying is,” he responded, his lips turning up into a gentle smile, one so tender that it made your heart melt, “I have feelings for you.” 

Your heart may as well have stopped then. You blinked at him, doing a double take as you tried to register his words. Feelings? You? But what about nakama—

“I don’t expect you to return them, so don’t overthink things,” Zoro continued, cutting off your frenzied train of thought. He must have been able to tell from the confusion written all over your face. “Nothing’s going to change.”

A beat of silence passed, with neither of you saying anything. 

Eventually, Zoro found it awkward enough to clear his throat and to release your arms from his grip. “Anyway, I should get Chopper in here. He told me to let him know when you woke up.” 

The sound of the chair legs scraping against wood was the only sound in the room as he got up to leave, but he was swiftly halted in his tracks as your hand grabbed his wrist to hold him back. 

He watched wordlessly as you got off the bed, and you held back a grimace at the pain throbbing in your abdomen. You’d be an idiot if you allowed him to walk away after saying all that. His confession had been short and straight to the point, exactly the way Zoro was.

And, just like Zoro tended to do, it had also pissed you off a little, and that anger was stirring up in you a boldness that you couldn’t muster before. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” 

He seemed to be taken aback at the sudden ferocity in your tone, and didn’t seem to expect to be manhandled when you grabbed him by the collar without warning and yanked him towards you, until your noses were barely touching. His eyes were blown wide, and you could see his face begin to turn red from the proximity. Up close like this, you could feel his warm breaths on your face. 

“You didn’t ask me what I think,” you told him in an almost-whisper, and you watched as he swallowed, uncertainty swimming in his eyes. 

“What do you—” 

You pressed your lips to his then, cutting off whatever stupid excuse he had to say in his defence. He always did this, assuming things on his own and jumping to his own conclusions. 

Then again, you had gone ahead and done the exact same thing, so you were probably being a hypocrite. 

Not that you really cared; all that you could focus on then was his lips against yours, gentle and tender and soft. You had released your grip on his collar by then, instead resting your one hand on his hard chest while the other wrapped around his neck to pull him closer. 

Zoro didn’t show any resistance; in fact, he quite eagerly leaned into you, arms snaking around your waist to press your curves against his body and to deepen the kiss. Things slowly grew bolder, more daring as you felt his tongue sweep across the seam of your lips. You obliged, parting your lips for him and your knees nearly buckled when his tongue entered your mouth, sliding against your tongue and swallowing the soft moan that had unwittingly escaped you. 

“Zoro…”

You felt his fingers in your hair then, and with a soft pull he tipped your head back, angling your face so that he could deepen the kiss with renewed vigour. You couldn’t help but be swept along with his pace, allowing him to kiss you over and over and over, each kiss an affirmation that his confession was real, that he had wanted you just as much as you had wanted him all this time. 

The realisation had your chest swelling with joy, and there was no stopping the big smile that your lips spread into, which forced him to pull away from the kiss. Breathing heavily, Zoro rested his forehead against your head, allowing your noses to touch. 

“So tell me again, nothing’s going to change?” you taunted, licking your lips and smirking at the man. 

“Heh.” With a chuckle and a devilish grin that made you almost forget how to breathe, Zoro lowered his lips towards yours once more. 

“I guess this is something I could get used to.” 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Am I the only one who thinks that Jamil was being a hypocrite in Chapter 6? Man's really told Leona "nobody understands me" and "you don't know what I've been through" when literally every overblot victim has been through shit.

I’m pretty sure that most agree that Jamil’s being a hypocrite. No one has said he wasn’t one. And you know what? I think that was the point. It was written that way on purpose.

None of us fans really seriously wail on Jamil (or on other characters) for being a hypocrite because that kind of behavior is to be expected of him/them. We were told at the very beginning of TWST that NRC’s students are often self-serving and think more of themselves than of others, and that they don’t care to accept help from their peers. It’s unrealistic to think these boys would be better people when not even a full year of time has passed to allow for them to sit and reflect on their actions. Like… it can sometimes take several years’ worth of therapy to come to that realization of, “oh, well maybe I fucked up in that situation or I said something insensitive to person B”.

This is all a normal part of their journies of self-discovery and growth. Of course they’re going to deflect blame and worry about themselves first and foremost. Those aren’t always healthy coping mechanisms by any means, but it’s been made clear time and time again these characters are still works in progress when it comes to thinking beyond just themselves and opening up to others. A large part of Jamil’s hypocrisy, for example, comes from a fixation on his own past instead of stopping to consider the situation Leona may be in. Trauma can box you in and make you feel like you’re alone, like no one can relate to you. Maybe you fee so defeated you already anticipate not being heard out (which is entirely believable for Jamil, who has been talked down to his whole life and told to be servile). Then when you have nothing else to compare to (I doubt Jamil is cognizant of Leona/the other OB boys’ pasts in detail, nor how much he has in common with Leona until they actually had a conversation), of course his own problems are magnified or seem so much worse.

There’s a lot of different psychological factors entangled in this. What’s most important is to not dismiss the hypocrisy, but to understand it as an integral part of a character and their background and personality.

[depressed-teacup-inc]

Alright guess it’s my turn to say my piece about this competition, because theres a lack of Lukadrien explanation in the post as opposed to Lukanette means I gotta start advertising!

So here is my

Reasons Why I Like Lukadrien better then Lukanette!!!

(Aka Lukadrien propaganda time hehe)

General compatibility and aesthetic

This may be a shallow overview of the characters but I think that compatibility and aesthetic usually matter in ships so…

Adrien and Luka have the many opposites attract dynamics, from their names having light and dark metaphors, the prep goth aesthetic, the prince and the rebel aesthetic, classical music vs rock, guitar and piano, the list goes on!

From the get go despite being love rivals they’re kind and courteous and supportive the other’s ventures and find the other sweet and admirable, despite their differences

(Hell for all the love square yin and Yang metaphor, Lukadrien actually does it better? They feel way more like opposites attract and comfort one another to me)

They encompass many appealing tropes of coming out of the closet, breaking the mold, characters that always comforted being on the receiving end of comfort, and so on

Meanwhile…

Luka and Marinette are very much the “girl and the edgy secondary love interest getting together” aesthetic. I feel like their relationship is always Luka being a cool attractive bad boy and a source of comfort for marinette as she struggles with life, and they never quite go beyond that

They do encompass many tropes of devotion, choosing the guy who was always by your side and you never noticed, but again, it always comes back to what marinette gains from the relationship as opposed to both people benefitting from the relationship.

Which brings me to my next point!

Lukanette’s dynamic Vs. Lukadrien’s dynamic in canon

So in canon, we see how Lukanette’s dynamic was always a bit… strained. You can argue that it was canon constantly pushing the love square but really, it never felt like Marinette cared for Luka as a person, more as she liked how he was an attractive guy giving her attention and comfort, which she used as a distraction from Adrien, and throughout their relationship she kept comparing him to Adrien or telling him how much she preferred Adrien instead (even calling him Adrien on accident several times, to the point it was a meme in the fandom!)

She did a similar thing with Chat Noir where after she felt like her attraction to Adrien is what caused her to lose the miraculous, she fixated and pushed herself onto Chat Noir, because she liked how Chat Noir liked her and was there to constantly support her which is a great distraction from Adrien!

In my opinion, I feel like a relationship that’s inherently built on liking the way someone praises you rather then how they are as a person leads to very unhealthy and toxic dynamics (that is why in general, I don’t ship marinette with anyone! Until marinette realizes that someone loving her is not constant praise her way, and that her liking someone means she likes them for all that they are, rather then liking the image they present or their idea of them, she shouldn’t be in a fucking relationship!)

Meanwhile with Lukadrien, none of those expectations are present!

You see when Luka and Adrien meet, even if Adrien and Luka are supposed to be rivals they are nothing but kind to one another and see each other for what they are rather then a competition, or a challenge to overcome (unlike how Marinette sees Kagami initially)

Luka sees Adrien for all that he is (both as Chat Noir and Adrien) and deeply cares about him despite his flaws and despite not being a perfect curated image Gabriel made of Adrien, and in fact, is one of the only people that ever actually seem to care about Adrien’s opinions or emotions in regard to being paired off with marinette (will he be happy? What does he want from this?), or being lied to as chat noir (hell even Nino, Adrien’s best friend, in recent seasons is really just there to align with Alya and Marinette and pair Adrien with Marinette)

“But Teacup!” The imaginary devil’s advocate says, “didn’t you just say that a relationship built solely on one person comforting the other is unhealthy? If Luka is just there to constantly comfort Adrien and nothing more, what makes them any better than Lukanette?”

Thank you for asking devil’s advocate, the answer is Adrien comforts and support Luka in return!

In fact, I think that Adrien is one of the only people (if not the only one) to ever express support to Luka and praise him for being a good person, as he does in despairsada!!!

THATS RIGHT FOLKS PEOPLE LOVE TO FORGET THIS, BUT ADRIEN IS THE GUY TO CHOOSE LUKA TO BE VIPERION, NOT LADYBUG!

Marinette was actively seeking out Adrien saying he’s perfect, but Adrien was like “nuh uh you are so obsessed with the idea of me being perfect and everything you need in life, you are not acknowledging Luka for being who he is!”

Specifically the line is: “... Brave? Determined? Caring? Why don't you give him the Miraculous?”

ADRIEN ACTIVELY VOUCHES FOR LUKA IN SIGHT OF LADYBUG CHOOSING HER OVER HIM OR LUKA BEING SHAFTED!!!

Especially because Luka is often treated by the plot as a walking device to comfort people, It’s rare to see instance where characters support him, so in this relationship, you see how Luka and Adrien would actively help the other, and how it wouldn’t just be a one way street!

How each relationship would play out

So, we already have our answer on how Lukanette would play out! Lukanette did in fact date and did in fact break up!

I’ve seen many people argue that it’s purely because of her keeping secrets and needing to be ladybug, but we seriously all know it’s not.

Marinette throughout her relationship with Luka rarely expressed support to Luka or his wants or needs, and the entire relationship was never meant to last in her mind! It was just marinette needing a temporary distraction from her not getting to be with Adrien, before she moves on!

Hell even when they broke up!!! WHEN MARINETTE DUMPS LUKA AFTER A RELATIONSHIP OF CONSTANTLY COMPARING HIM TO ADRIEN AND NEVER FULLY COMMITTING OR CARING AS MUCH AS HE DID!!!

Their break up scene is purely marinette crying to Luka about how hard it is for her, and Luka sitting there like “I understand it’s ok I won’t hold it against you”

To the end Lukanette was “Marinette has a struggle usually related to how overwhelmed she is or not getting to be with Adrien, she goes to Luka, Luka comforts her and gives her advice about life”

(Honestly I argue that Adrien and Kagami’s breakup was healthier then Lukanette’s because at least Kagami got to genuinely be mad, and Adrien through the relationship actually tried to be with Kagami and never compared her to Ladybug or expected her to be ladybug, though yes he was still a bit obsessed with Ladybug)

Meanwhile with Lukadrien we don’t quite know how it would turn out (so take this point with a grain of salt, because this is my hypothesis analyzing their relationship)

But, from the patterns we see, it’s not a stretch to think that Lukadrien would be a more stable relationship!

Lukadrien is a stable and sweet friendship where two people actively support and vouch for each other, rather than a one way street of comfort, and Adrien has shown to put in a lot of effort into his relationships, an amount of effort equal to Luka’s!

I personally feel like even if they were to break up, I think their relationship would last much longer as it was never so unbalanced and in favor of one person, and will probably end as a result of differences, if it were to end at all! (Which, call me biased, I don’t think it would because of how compatible these two are)

What the relationship would mean for the characters

So! This is a point I make specifically when it comes to stories, because while in real life relationships are just as they are, in fictions, relationships often relate to a character’s growth or larger meaning to the story, and what it will mean for their lives and who they are as people!

With Lukanette, it’s pretty straight forward. Overall the relationship is just another reminder of how great marinette is and how much she deserves, if not a slight expectation subversion of “the final relationship not being between the main girl and boy” but it really stops there, because that’s all Lukanette ever was! A means of comfort for marinette!

Meanwhile with Lukadrien, the relationship would have a lot more meaning! Not one would it be subverting the expectations of main pairing happening, it’s:

- Adrien learning to stand up for himself and create a life he wants to live as opposed to letting others control him

- Luka learning to receive comfort as opposed to always give it to another, and learning to be vulnerable rather then always be the strong sweet one

- two characters fighting for their relationship in the face of everyone saying it’s “not meant to be” (which extends to discussion of what it means to be soulmates)

- AND SO MUCH SOCIETAL COMMENTARY ON queer relationships, inter-class relationships, the media, disapproving family, what it means to be good and do everything right, and so much more

Lukadrien as a relationship just always held so much potential to tell so many more stories then Lukanette did, because Lukanette was always designed to be one thing, while Lukadrien has the flexibility and potential to be everything!

While it may seem a silly category, in fiction relationships are more compelling and important when they matter more in the grand scale of the story

Concluding thoughts

Overall, I just like Lukadrien better

I know I’m biased because I never liked marinette as a whole, but fuck man Lukadrien is just everything this show could have been and more!!!

There’s a reason it’s my favorite relationship! Especially in a show that always seems to fumble every relationship they do, these two goobers standing the test of time and being kind and supportive to the other through it all, really just means… everything!

It shows how good and compatible these two characters would be, and how long lasting they would be!

I think the best way to conclude this essay would be quoting my friend @rainbow-arrow on the subject:

“Luka is good for Marinette, Luka and Adrien are good for each other. In this essay I will—”

Have a wonderful day folks, and may the best ship win!

(Also as a side note, if you wish to discuss Lukanette vs Lukadrien in Kitty section, Adrien being in Kitty section was inherently an act of rebellion encouraged by Luka, as the guy who invited him to play with Kitty section, which further adds to the “these two support one another and encourage the other to step out of their comfort zone” thing, while Lukanette was Marinette helping her friends in the band, and getting extra praise from Luka as she supports the entire group)

Semifinals 1

(Round 4 Side A Pair 1)

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Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

-They‘re just so good for each other. Luka is such a calming presence in Marinette‘s chaotic life and helps her relax when she feels anxious and unsure of herself, always willing to be there for her and offer a helping hand during tough times. Marinette has a deep appreciation not only for Luka‘s ability to play music but also hear heart songs, as if she understood immediately what he meant after listening to him play for the first time. They feed off each other‘s creative energy and are just generally so wholesome together. I could talk about them forever, they make me so happy!!

-Luka is the best boy, and deserves love from the girl he adores

-Luka/Marinette had 3900 works on AO3

-I just woke up and am too lazy to think of words for my favorite couple so here's some gifs as propaganda

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Luka Couffaine/Adrien Agreste

-I just think they're cute is all. My biggest ship is Luka/Adrien because they just seem to work well together and deserved more screen time. Then there's Felix because he looks like Adrien basically. Plus Luka is such a flirt, the way either boy would blush like mad if Luka flirted with them would be truly worthwhile.

-Luka/Adrien had 1142 works on AO3

TAG:

Luka/Marinette: @mikoriin

Luka/Adrien: @noonewilleverknowistealkneecaps

@lukacouffaineappreciation