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tenebraevesper · 1 year ago

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Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Final Conclusion)

''It's been a long, rough road and I'm finally here. I move an inch forward, feels like a year. Everything I feel seems so unreal. Is it true? Is it true? I take one step forward and two steps back. Got a hundred thousand pounds sitting on my back. Up, down, all around, don't know quite what to do to get through. Well, I'm on my way...''

(Never Turn Back, Shadow the Hedgehog (2005))

Welcome to the Final Conclusion of my Shadow the Hedgehog's character analysis! It has been a long, rough road for me, but now I'm here to give you my final thoughts on Shadow the Hedgehog as a character in Sonic Prime.

So, shall we dive in for one last time?

I started this character analysis with the statement that ''Prime!Shadow is peak Shadow'', making it my mission to re-watch every episode of Sonic Prime to back up my argument, and I believe that I have succeeded.

When I had learned that Sonic Prime would have Shadow in it, I made sure to keep a close eye on him, as we know all too well just how tight SEGA's mandates around Shadow's character are, having seen him at his worst in the Sonic IDW comics. I had been hoping that Sonic Prime would let Shadow have more room as a character, let him breathe a little. He doesn't have to be just the grim Vegeta-type Stock Shonen Rival to Sonic, but he can also be a hero on his own.

So I waited and I hoped, and, oh boy, did Sonic Prime deliver!

With the placement of Sonic Prime in the mainline canon being deliberately vague (aside from obviously being set after Sonic Advance 3) we only had the knowledge of Shadow's backstory to figure out how his character might be utilized in the show, and let me assure you, I did not expect that Shadow as a character would actually go back to his roots.

As TV Tropes puts it, Shadow is the composite character of ''the intelligent, perceptive, and pragmatic (with good intentions) of Sonic 06'' self ''with the wrathful but good intentioned disposistion of Sonic Battle'' self.

In short, he is exactly the Shadow people wanted to see for so long, ever since Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), which is considered to be the peak of his character (not counting Sonic Adventure 2). He is the grim rival to Sonic, but has a kind heart and the will to protect the world regardless of how people see him. He is not above using violent methods to achieve his goals, but has primarily good intentions, and will clash and work together with Sonic depending on the situation.

That alone is very impressive, but what makes Prime!Shadow stand out even above his Sonic 06 self is the fact that he actually undergoes through subtle, but legitimate character development.

As I had stated in Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 1), Shadow starts out as a loner who prefers to stop Sonic from causing the end of world by fighting him instead of talking to him. This is kind of understandable, since Sonic also sucks at communication and listening to other people, including his friends, which is how the whole Shatterverse event starts in the first place, and gets punched by Shadow for causing this whole mess.

In Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 2), I had been pointing out how, after both Shadow got all the frustration he felt towards Sonic out of his system in the first half of Episode 09: Avoid the Void, he manages to convey to Sonic just how much damage he had caused by breaking the Paradox Prism, leading to the two to actually start communicating properly. Of course, it is not perfect, and Shadow certainly gets annoyed by Sonic over the course of the episode, but he is willing to talk rather than to fight.

However, it takes until the second half of the same episode, aka what I covered in Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 3) for Shadow to finally realize that he needs Sonic if he wants to fix reality. But before that, we have a good old fashioned rival fight, where Shadow decides to save the world on his own, showing us that, even if the world is at stake, he won't miss a chance to enjoy his fight with Sonic. However, upon his failure to enter the Shatterspaces, he understands that he won't be able to do this without Sonic's help, as he's stuck in The Void. Of course, this is just the beginning of their attempts at proper teamwork and they still won't miss a chance to banter with each other.

Speaking of bantering, we slowly start get more and more of those, as covered in Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 4), with Shadow snarking at Sonic while also trying to keep him on track. Not only that, but Shadow also plays a role in stalling the Chaos Council, showing that even if he cannot travel through the Shatterverse, he can still support Sonic in his own way.

When the Chaos Council arrives at Ghost Hill to take the Prism Shards, we finally see what it looks like when Shadow and Sonic team up and it's glorious. Even if their relationship hasn't started out well, you can see how they slowly become better and better as a team, protecting each other and coming up with plans to protect the Shards.

One thing that gets pointed out, however, is Shadow's distrust of other people. In Sonic Prime, Shadow has no friends, which is something Sonic teases him about when Shadow shows clear distrust of Nine. Shadow is right to be distrustful of Nine, pointing out to Sonic how he's not the same as Tails, especially due to how Sonic is projecting Tails onto Nine and treating him as if they were the same person.

However, Sonic is not wrong either in regards to his statement how Shadow needs to learn to trust people, and rest assured, it appears that Shadow actually takes this to heart, as he begins to trust Sonic.

This is seen in the first half of Episode 17: Grim Tidings, which I covered in Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 5). Not only does Shadow not blame Sonic for losing the Shards to Nine, but he also keeps reaching out for Sonic, who is grieving the loss of Ghost Hill and his friends, protecting him from danger, reassuring him that they will get the Shards back and comforting him by complimenting him. It's incredibly sweet to see that side of him, a kinder, softer side which he appears to show only around Sonic.

This extends into the second half of the episode, covered in Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 6), where Shadow keeps up with his mission to protect Sonic as they try to recover the Paradox Prism from Nine. Not only has their teamwork significantly improved, with both being incredibly in sync, but the moment Shadow realizes that Nine is after Sonic, he abandons the Paradox Prism and instead focuses on saving Sonic from Nine, eventually throwing him out of The Grim and basically sacrificing his own life for Sonic.

I absolutely loved seeing this protective side of Shadow, showing just how much he cares about Sonic and how much he has grown to appreciate him.

(Also, note how Shadow once again has beef with Tails, having fought him in Sonic X and Sonic Boom before).

What follows next is the battle against Nine, covered in Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 7), which shows us Shadow and Sonic's contrasting personalities and ideals bouncing off of each other, while working perfectly together. They have now reached a new level of trust, respect and understanding, with Shadow showing complete loyalty towards Sonic, even if their initial methods of reaching their goals clash with each other.

Also, Sonic introduces Shadow as his boyfriend to his Shatterverse friends.

''Probably gonna regret that.'' ''I heart you too, Shadow.''

Oh, did you really think I wouldn't talk about the blatant Sonadow subtext in Sonic Prime? There is a reason why fans nicknamed the show Sonadow Prime.

These two dorks have so much chemistry in this show that it is hard not to ship them together, even if all instances of them working together as a couple were unintentional. Sonic Prime definitely shows the appeal of the Sonadow ship, and if you go by The Sonadow Special Bumblekast Interview with Ian Flynn, these two are probably one confession away from dating each other (even if the ship will never become canon, because SEGA says ''No'' to romance in their Sonic media - a wise decision).

Why am I saying this? Well, Ian says that, in order for Sonadow to be executed, there would have to be an understood vulnerability to Shadow, and he would have to open up to be more accessible at a personal level. He notes how it doesn't take much for it to happen, and that it just has to become established to build that bridge, especially with Sonic being so casual and accepting enough as he is, and he would allow Shadow to be who he is, which is kinda prickly and stand-offish. They would have the occasional moment where Shadow let's his guard down and is more empathetic and emotionally available, but otherwise, they would play it fairly cool and aloof.

Also, how would it be made official that they're together? Ian says how they're so cool and aloof in their own way that he cannot see either of them making some dramatic declaration or turn all mushy and lovey-dovey, as that's not who they are.

''[...] The adventure concludes, and they're standing side by side on the hillside looking at the sunset and the wreckage, and they share, y'know, a compliment, and instead of like, a fist bump or a 'See ya next time', and one of them runs off; maybe they throw arms around each other or something, just kinda stand there. [...] I see them just being very chill about it all.''

So, let me ask you something - in Sonic Prime, which character is starting to show his more vulnerable side, letting his guard down and and reaching out for Sonic, either to comfort him or to protect him?

Yeah, a simple screenshot speaks more than a thousand words.

Also, if you don't care about what Ian Flynn said, just take note of how affectionate Sonic is towards Shadow and Shadow in turn just let's him do whatever he wants. Sonic hugs him, and Shadow doesn't push him back. It's absolutely adorable and it gets even better when we get to the finale!

Episode 23: From the Top (covered in its full form in Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 8)) concludes the battle against Nine, with the whole Shatterverse being reduced to nothing. Sonic decides to sacrifice his life to restore the Paradox Prism, and we see Shadow completely heartbroken when he sees that Sonic isn't moving, probably believing that he is dead. I don't think Shadow had ever shown an expression like this in any media.

Fortunately, Sonic is still alive, but barely holding on, leading up to a race against time, where Shadow carries a dying Sonic towards Green Hill.

''I never knew you were a hugger.'' ''Do you want me to save you or not?''

*shouting from the back* Just kiss already!

Hey, I mean, it isn't them throwing arms around each other, but we do have Sonic flirting with Shadow and Shadow responding before the sense of panic sets in when Sonic goes limp.

Fortunately, the day is saved, with Sonic and Shadow retaining their memories of what had happened and remembering what their learned from each other during their adventure (with the Shatterverse probably being wiped out because Sonic doesn't shatter the Paradox Prism).

''I am the Ultimate Lifeform. I go wherever I want.'' ''Wh-huh?'' ''CHAOS CONTROL!''

One thing I don't believe I had mentioned is how there is three times when Shadow declares his status as The Ultimate Lifeform. The first time is a response to Nine's comment about him and Sonic being twins, with Shadow pointing out his uniqueness. The second time he states it is when Nine is shocked to see him defeat Grim Alpha Sonic, with Sonic quipping how he's ''modest too'', showing off that he is adept to battling and will win the fight no matter the odds. And lastly, he states it once again before he teleports the Paradox Prism, noting how he can go wherever he wants, which I believe is him declaring his won freedom to not be tied to anything (like a certain promise) and doing things his way (not to mention the fact that he spent a good chunk of the show floating in The Void, unable to go anywhere).

Unfortunately, as I said before, the ending kinda feels like it's missing something, and while people might point out how it's either perfect the way it is or list a bunch of flaws or seek signs of an nonexistent sequel, the one thing I wanted to see is for Sonic and Shadow to have at least one more conversation.

''If knowing you has taught me anything, there is always another way.'' 'Wait, was that a compliment?''

I wanted them to meet up again and reflect on their adventure, as well as talk how much they have grown closer as a team, with Sonic even offering Shadow to join him and his friends at the beach for a couple of chili dogs. I'd have Shadow be reluctant for a moment, before accepting.

Maybe have Sonic ask Shadow what happened to the Paradox Prism and Shadow assure him that it's in a safe space. Perhaps they could also ponder on what happened to the Shatterverse, and whether it's gone or it still exists. As for Sonic's friends, they would probably wonder since when Sonic and Shadow are now close buddies, with Sonic about to tell them about their adventure in the Shatterverse before Dr. Eggman returns with another scheme and the adventure continues.

I really wanted some kind of finality to show their newly formed bond. After all, there is so much to talk about, like the fact that Sonic definitely had a traumatic flashback to Sonic Adventure 2.

Or have Shadow admit that he doesn't want to lose Sonic by just telling him not to get so reckless again when around another world-shattering stone.

*sighs dreamily*

Oh well, being a writer, I guess I might as well write this alternate ending by myself then. I might let these two have their moment, showing appreciation for each other in their own way.

Also, Shadow is a hugger. That's definitely canon now.

One last thing to mention before I finish this is - what did Shadow do with the Paradox Prism? Well, I have an idea for how this adventure might continue, albeit in a different universe:

Sonic Boom Shatterverse (Sonic Prime/Sonic Boom)

So, does anyone want to see how Boom!Shadow and Boom!Sonic handle their own universe shattering into pieces? Coz I do!

#Sonic the Hedgehog Analyzer (Masterlist)

#Ten's Thoughts #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #tails nine #sonic prime #sonadow prime #sonadow #sonic boom #boom sonadow #boom sonic #boom shadow

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shanastoryteller · 2 years ago

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Happy birtday shana! Can i get some Percy x Tonks? Love you Grandma! 💖

“Have you considered getting an assistant?”

Percy lifts the scroll he’s reviewing so he can look down at his wife. He’s sitting on one end of the couch while she’s laying out with her head in his lap and her own paperwork floating in front of her. “I am an assistant.”

“No one’s buying that anymore,” she says. “I know you’re sticking around to help Bones, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but ever since taking down Fudge and his ilk it’s obvious to anyone paying attention that you’re more than an assistant.”

True, but, “Most people aren’t paying attention. It helps maintain the fiction. If I get an assistant myself, that fiction will be a lot harder to get past the average person.”

Tonks sucks her bottom lip between her teeth, a sight that’s distracting for reasons that makes her place on his lap unfortunate. Well, fortunate if she’s willing to be distracted, and unfortunate if she wants to have a serious conversation, which she clearly does. “What if Bones got a second assistant? Lots of important people have more than one, and they could actually be yours. Or they could be hers and deal with the actual assistant duties that you’re currently handling on top of running the government.”

“I’m not running the government,” he protests. “Amelia’s very good at her job. I’m just – smoothing things along.”

“Percy,” she sighs.

He frowns, giving it serious thought. “Do you have someone in mind?”

Her eyes go big and wide, slightly larger than it’s possible to achieve without her metamorphmagus abilities. “Why, Percy dear, why would you say that?”

He mentally run through all the people possibly suitable for this role that Tonks knows and who she likes enough to suggest this in the first place. It’s not a very long list.

“Cho?”

She huffs. “No!” A beat of silence passes. “Okay, yes. She and Cedric are sort of fretting about what happens after she graduates, especially because Cho isn’t really sure what she what she wants to do. She’s the top of her year, and a Prefect, and Head Girl. She could do this.”

“Does she want to?” he presses.

Tonks shrugs. “No idea. I wasn’t going to talk to her or Cedric about it before talking to you, obviously, but I think she’d like it. It exposes her to a ton of different people and careers which might help her figure out what she wants to do, and she’s someone that you know and so can trust, and so Bones will trust her, and she’ll be able to actually help you guys. Unlike some other random person you don’t have a history with who neither you nor Bones will trust to know or do anything.”

That is very true. They’d manage to purge the worst of the dregs from the ministry, but there were plenty of people who weren’t the worst but weren’t good either. Enough people want Amelia to fail that it’s not exactly easy to bring someone in without worrying about betrayal.

“It’s a good idea,” he says to her, “I’ll talk to Amelia about it tomorrow.”

Tonks grins and knocks his scroll aside. He frowns, but then she’s straddling him and her lips are on his, and well.

Work can wait a little while. His wife is more important.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #lance-with-a-chance-of-anxiety #harry potter #siat

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el-tur-el · 10 months ago

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coconut skins. - Chapter 1

Pairing: Rolan x F!Tav

Warnings: Tailplay, Light D/S, Explicit Sexual Content. 18+, Minors DNI.

Word Count: 2,674. Read it on AO3.

While she was immensely proud of the work Rolan put into his studies - the achievements he’s managed to garner at an age much younger than those before him, the respect that his new title commands - she would be the first to admit that sometimes it all became a bit of a slog. The constant late nights studying, crawling into bed beside her long after the sun had set over the Gate and the sky had become scattered with pinprick starlight.

She tried to stay up with him when she could; she’d drape herself over a chaise in the study and pretend to read while he worked. In truth, she was spending more time watching him. Fingers twitching as he scrawled notes on a piece of parchment with a quill, the shape of his mouth and he silently rehearsed the verbal components of new spells he was working on. Something so mundane should hardly be considered intoxicating, and yet the competency set a heady thrill in her veins. The Master of Ramazith’s Tower.

Gods above, but he deserved it.

Tonight, boredom has settled itself into her bones, leaden and heavy. She’s been sprawled out on chair in the study for the better part of six hours now, idly leafing through a book while he pours over research and hastily scribbles notes in the margins. She can see the exhaustion radiating off of him, the soft hunch of his shoulders, the way he’s rubbing at his temples and mumbling under his breath. She wonders, idly, if he even knows what time it is. If he had even been aware of the sun sinking far below the horizon two hours ago, painting the room in split yolk yellow and flicker flame orange.

She rises from the chair delicately, walking across the room to his desk; footfalls ghostly silent against the carpet, her fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of the sleeve on her thin nightgown - a gift from him a month or so ago, with delicate flowers embroidered on the material.

“Love,” She murmurs softly, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind, pressing a whisper of a kiss against the crown of his head. “You’ve been at it for hours. Why don’t you take a break, hm?”

“In a moment.” He replies, not looking up from the paper in front of him - she swears he’s been stuck on this one for over an hour now, some text about the importance of somatic components in spellwork, written in tiny, cramped hand. “I’m nearly done with this one.”

Something tells her that’s not true - that he would sit here for another eternity if she let him; not bothering to slink to bed until the sun began to lazily pull itself over the horizon, and even then only allowing himself a half hour of rest before getting up to tend to Sorcerous Sundries for the day. She knows this because he has done it before, more times than she can count on one hand. Murmuring a quiet apology for being so late to join her, then turning around and doing it all over again the next day.

“Rolan, you’ve been staring at the same piece of paper for hours. Maybe it’ll make more sense after some rest and some breakfast.” One of her hands gently rubs over his shoulder, soothing small circles against his robe with her thumb.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”

Getting him to be anything other than self-sacrificial is a task akin to pulling teeth even on the best of days. He runs himself ragged constantly, all weeping edges. Nose to the grindstone until there’s little left but marrow. It makes her chest ache, truthfully; the extent to which he is willing to go in some misguided venture to prove himself.

He doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone, anymore.

She tucks a stray lock of hair behind the tip of a pointed ear, and brings her lips to the stark line of his jaw; no amount of pleading will get him to relent, but perhaps there are other methods at her disposal that will be effective. He’s always had trouble saying no to her when she looks at him with soft eyes, when she’s soft and clingy and sweet. Like he has a weakness for the saccharine. Or maybe just a weakness for her.

“Tav.” He rumbles, low and throaty - a warning.

She’s never been particularly good about contemplating consequences.

“Come to bed.” She whispers against his skin, dragging her mouth down to the slope of his throat. Open-mouthed and damp, her breath ghosting over his pulse point, her arms still draped over his shoulders.

He makes a sound in the back of his throat that sends heat spooling in her stomach, makes her feel effervescent. He’s still looking at the desk, but his gaze is unfocused and hazy, and she thinks, for one triumphant moment, that she may be winning this battle.

A few things happen in the span of a moment. He rises from his chair rather noisily, and a flicker of fear that she has somehow overstepped jolts through her. But then he’s pushing her up against the desk, the edge of the hardwood digging into the small of her back, his hands planted firmly on her shoulders. He leans dangerously close to her, his breath a heavy and ragged thing, a few strands of his hair coming loose from their tie and framing his face in a way that would almost be considered soft were it not for the glimmer of hunger held within the aureate flame of his eyes.

“Someone ought to teach you a thing or two about patience.” His voice is sharp and hushed, gravelly in a way she’s not sure she’s ever heard from him.

She stares at him with wide eyes, her lips parted in a silent question, her hands curling into the soft material of his robes at his flanks. He tilts his head to the side, eyes trained on her, flicking over her expression to see if there’s any hesitance. When he doesn’t find any, he leans in further, his breath hot against the shell of her ear.

“Is this what you wanted, Tav? To test my resolve? To see how much it takes for me to snap?” A yawning chasm of want splits open within her, a flush rising to her cheeks. “For me to pin you down and have my way with you like some kind of animal?”

“I’m certainly not complaining.” She finds her voice, shaky and uncertain as it may be, and the words fall forth in the ghost of a whisper.

“You would think that the time you spent saving the Sword Coast would have taught you even a little in the way of self-preservation, but here you are. Still so godsdamned brave.” His teeth graze over her earlobe, and she stifles a soft sound. “I could eat you alive. But you don’t care.”

“Because I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” She does, in her bones. He’d been reticent to even entertain the notion of anything that would put her in harm’s way, even if she’d expressed enthusiastic consent. Pain was not associated with pleasure in his mind, and she had never been about to argue - he’d been through enough. She wanted to be a safe place for him. A respite from it all.

He pulls away to look her in the eyes once more, a soft smile dragging up the corners of his mouth. “I wouldn’t.” He echoes, quiet.

“This is nice, though.” She feels like such a shy creature when faced with the intensity of his gaze. What a difficult thing, to be seen so thoroughly. For him to peel back the layers of herself, scrutinize each one. To know and be known. “The confidence.”

“I’m glad you think so.” He laughs, soft, all breath. “I’m rather uncertain of what I’m doing.”

She presses her lips to his cheek, featherlight. “Just do what feels natural. Or do nothing at all. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything.”

He contemplates her for a long moment, as though trying to determine the best course of action. It feels rather silly, to calculate intimacy, to map it out into data points and facts and figures. But she’s intrigued, curious as to where, exactly, this is going to go.

“I want to try something.” He says after a while. “Do you trust me?”

“Endlessly.” She replies immediately - she doesn’t even have to put thought into the question. She’d put her life in his hands if he asked her to.

“Undress for me.” The words are offered up on a breath, still so gentle.

She wordlessly moves to comply, shaky fingers moving to the hem of her nightgown, gingerly pulling it over her head. She takes the time to fold it neatly - she’d loathe to unceremoniously toss something so delicate, something he picked out for her by hand, on the ground. She turns to look at him with expectant eyes.

“Everything.” He’s perched back onto his chair, and he watches her with a neutral expression, his tone settling into something detached. It shouldn’t send a thrill of heat through her, and yet it does all the same.

She drags her bottom lip between her teeth, all nervous energy, but does as she’s told with no resistance. She steps out of her smalls, undoes her breastband, sets them both to the side. He looks at her appreciatively, eyes roaming down her body in a way that has her feeling like he could see right through to the bone if he so desired.

Oh, how vulnerable it is, the mortifying ordeal of being known.

He taps two fingers against the corner of his desk that is free of paperwork and stacks of books. “Sit.”

She wonders what he’s playing at here, exactly.

She settles herself down on the hardwood, sucking in a sharp breath at how cold it is against her bare skin. Suddenly so unsure of how to take up space, she folds her hands in her lap. Her movements feel awkward, unsteady.

“I’m going to finish my work.” He motions towards the paper he’d been engrossed in earlier. “And you’re going to sit there quietly.”

“And I need to be naked for this because….?” She blinks at him - suddenly she is very much feeling like the one who has been played here.

“If you’re good,” He ignores the question. “I’ll give you the attention you so desperately desire, once I am done.”

And just like that, he’s once again directing his attention downwards, beginning to resume his reading. She shifts awkwardly - the idea of sitting still, bare before him, with him not even paying attention to him…. It fills her with equal parts arousal and defiance, makes her want to act out so that this is over faster.

But she’ll let him have his way for now.

One of his hands comes to rest on her thigh - not gripping, simply touching. It sends sparks rolling through her, bright bursts of something fluorescent and alive. She takes in a soft breath, tremulous, and he offers her a pointed look before returning his gaze to his work.

And you’re going to sit there quietly.

Ah. She’s beginning to understand the game, now.

Silently, he pushes her knees apart, and she knows with resounding certainty the moment his hand splays out flat against the inside of her thigh that she is well and truly fucked. His nails drag a slow path upwards, and her stomach lurches, teeth sinking into her bottom lip in an attempt to keep silent.

There’s a heavy ache between her thighs, and it takes more than a little self control to not press them together, to coax his hand higher, to open her mouth to plead with him to relent. He’s still reading, and she wants to take back everything she said earlier about finding his bravado intoxicating - such a selfish creature suddenly in the face of such overwhelming want.

Perhaps he’s feeling merciful, perhaps he can sense the yearning bubbling beneath the surface of her, because his index and middle finger graze over her slit, and she nearly whines. He lets out a breath when he feels the evidence of her arousal, how wet she is just from being made to sit before him like this - but his gaze does not leave his work.

The callused pads of his fingers press against her clit, and her hands come to grasp at the edge of the desk, knuckles white from the effort of it. She hopes to all the gods above that he is not nearly as patient as he makes himself seem.

She thinks that perhaps she can handle this - a little touching, a little teasing, and then he’ll cave.

And then comes the tail.

The point of it drags over her thigh, and oh, that’s new. She does let out a gasp when he brings it up higher, when he flicks it over her slit like a silent question. Tentative, cautious, curious. Without really thinking, she spreads her legs a little wider, invites him to indulge in the impulse.

It’s different than anything she’s ever felt before. The stretch of it, the hesitancy he uses. He’s no longer paying attention to the words on the paper before him, instead staring at her with wide, glossy eyes, his lips parted.

“Look at you.” He breathes, the tone of his voice awestruck, and she lets out a whine - her patience has been unraveled, decorum discarded.

She shifts her hips, desperate for more - something, anything. He relents, dragging the spade of it out, pushing back in.

Fucking her with his tail.

It feels licentious. Base. Wrong and filthy and yet so completely and wholly right. She moans, her head tilting back, her eyes fluttering shut. His fingers work against her clit more insistently now, his breath heavy, leaning forward in his chair, drinking in the sight of her.

“Fuck.” She manages, shaky, all breath. “Holy fuck, Rolan -”

“That’s it, Tav. Just like that.” He’s all rasp and gravel, and she cracks her eyes enough to see him palming himself through his robes. Something within her snaps, fractures. “Want to see you come like this - want - Gods.”

It takes little more in the way of prompting for her to get there; flashbang bright behind her eyelids, her lips splitting open in a silent cry. It feels like drowning in the most pleasant way possible, the way it rips through her. He hisses out a curse from behind gritted teeth, his movements slowing, then stopping completely.

She’s panting as she comes down, peering down at him through unfocused eyes, her hair sticking to her forehead - skin slick with sweat, her chest heaving. He’s looking at her with a reverence in his eyes, an awe that she feels wholly undeserving of.

“That was - that was different.” She fumbles for the words, coherent thought having evaporated from her mind.

“If I had known you would have responded positively, I would have suggested trying that a while ago.” He leans forward to press his lips against the back of her knee, soft. “Was that alright?”

She motions to herself, disheveled on his desk. “I hardly think you need to ask, Rolan.”

“Right, yes, well.” He clears his throat. “No harm in checking.”

“Will you come to bed now?” She tilts her head to the side, her gaze flicking over his form, lingering on his lap. “I’d rather like to repay the favor.”

“I… believe I’m at an appropriate stopping point for the evening, yes.” He smooths out his robes and stands, offering her a hand. “But please don’t feel like you need to -”

“Rolan.” She takes his hand and gently slides off of his desk, lifting a finger to his lips. “If you don’t take me to the bedroom and ravish me right this minute, I swear to all the gods in every pantheon, I will cry.”

“Well, we can’t have that, I suppose.”

#rolan x tav #bg3 #rolan bg3 #bg3 rolan

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oursecretescape · 10 months ago

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Forgotten

words: 7.5k

genre: angst

If my fate is to disappear like this, then this is my last letter - Let go xx TW: Mentions of anxiety, panick attack. Trad: anjinho = little angel. a/n: Hello, my babies. This story is the translation of ''Forgotten'' that I recently posted. I tried to make it as angsty as possible, hope I have achieved my goal. My apologies before hand for any grammar erros. English is not my first language. I suggest you all read it along with the saddest song you like. Well... with all that being said, I wish you a happy reading (or sad? lmao. dunno). Tell me later what y'all thought. ♥

"Hey! We'll be there soon. Sorry for the delay. Today's rehearsal took longer than expected. We're leaving now."

Received at 5 in the afternoon.

I take a quick glance at the clock, and it shows eight in the evening. A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I feel my heart drumming slowly in my chest, each beat amplifying my growing sense of unease.

I get up from the couch and reach for the umbrella swaying gently in the wind coming from the window. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to manage the sudden surge of fear and despair growing in my chest. My heart is racing, and my mind is in overdrive. A sense of mortality and suffocation, all rolled up into a single emotion: anxiety.

I sit down, sliding along the corridor wall. I try to control my breathing while attempting to steady the pounding of my heart. I think that dying in the hallway of a building would be so pointless and dull that it makes me laugh. A laugh, strained and devoid of emotion, but functional.

Heart rate normalizing. Labored, but controlled breathing. Mind stabilized.

I feel my face wet with tears. I wipe them away with trembling hands. When did I start crying? I rise from the floor, swaying a little. I take another deep breath and press the elevator button.

Dad always said that thinking of ridiculous things in difficult moments would help distract me. He was right, as he always was.

The cold, damp breeze of Seoul's streets warmed my soul. Its black skies, like darkness, covered with thick clouds, carried heavy raindrops that, upon impact, met my umbrella, creating beautiful melodies. It was comforting to hear the drops hitting the hard concrete; they reminded me that I wasn't crying alone.

It was thundering when I arrived at the destination. Bright streaks in the sky made the monument even gloomier. I found it ironic how everything matched my feelings. As I entered through the doors, I could already hear muffled cries. Sadness and suffering permeated the air, leaving me melancholic.

After a few more steps, I could see the person I love the most in the world greeting me with a beautiful smile. His eyes were shining like true rays of sunshine. I sit in front of him, sliding my fingers where his name rests. Lee Joon-Ho.

"Dad, I miss you so much," I say aloud, my voice cracking with emotion. "It's been incredibly lonely without you here. You have no idea how much I long for your company," I said, feeling the salty taste of tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring my friends to meet you like I promised. They're all caught up with their own lives, you know how it is. But don't worry, I'll bring them next time when they're less busy," I chuckle, with no emotion.

I hear footsteps behind me. I stand up excitedly, my heart pounding, but this time as a sign of comfort. They didn't forget. I feel my face stretch into a small smile, which is quickly dissolved.

"Hello, young lady. Good evening," the guard gives me a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need to ask you not to linger too long on your visit today. The rain caused some minor leaks, and we'll have to close a little earlier."

"Oh okay, I understand," I responded in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. You have 10 minutes. I'll leave you alone," he said, bowing and leaving promptly.

I turn again, sitting on the floor.

"Dad, today I have to leave a little earlier. But don't worry, I'll be back soon," I feel the tears fall like the drops falling from the sky. "I love you so much," I say between sobs. "I miss you."

I stand up in desperation, running out the door, feeling the drops fall freely on my body, without the protection of the umbrella. It was as if I was washing away all the bad feelings flowing from my being.

Arriving home, I take a hot shower and change into comfortable clothes. The room were in dense darkness. It was just the rain and me. And my cat, who was rubbing against my leg, lay on my lap."

I feel my chest inflate with comfort at the presence of the little being and smile at the gesture.

With the phone in hand, I try to distract my restless mind. I see the Twitter icon and feel my heart pounding as if I shouldn't do this, but I do it anyway. The blue screen shining amidst the darkness of the room soon turns into white, leaving my vision blurred. I switch to dark mode and continue scrolling through my feed.

Within a few seconds, I see something that breaks my heart even more. Among the bursts of excitement from Armys, there are videos of the boys, my boys, having fun in a restaurant with her. They forgot about the visitation day because of her. Again, the reason why I was put aside is her.

Knocks on the door make me forget the feelings of jealousy and anger that burned in my body like fire. I hesitated to remove the furry creature from my lap, as it seemed so comfortable. With a little effort, I get up and walk to the door. Upon opening it, I see Adora's face in a comforting smile. Seeing a friendly face, I feel my tears fall freely on my face once again. She immediately drops the bags she was carrying and envelops me in a loving hug.

I can't say for how long we hugged. What I can say is that it was exactly what I needed at that moment. I feel my chest getting lighter as if all the bad feelings had been carried away by the embrace, and I feel grateful to Adora for that.

Slowly I pull away, and I can see her smile return twice as big.

"Better?" she asks, making me nod.

I step aside, and she enters, placing the food bags on the coffee table. I close the door and follow her.

"What did you bring?" I ask curiously, making her laugh.

"I knew food would cheer you up," she laughs. "I brought a lot of junk food. Sweet and savory cookies, ice cream, sweet and sour pork, hamburgers, and sodas."

"Soda?" I wonder. "Since when do you like fizzy drinks? You always said they gave you gas," I hold back a laugh.

"The soda is for you. For me," she reaches into the bag, pulling out two green bottles of soju. "I brought alcohol," she says sticking her tongue out as she shakes the bottles.

I smile at her little dance, but seeing her gummy smile reminds me of him. I feel the sadness wanting to return when I remember the videos, but I cast aside any bad feelings as I grab the ice cream container.

"I didn't want to bring it up, but I'm really sorry I wasn't there. You know how it is at BigHit. I couldn't leave the production until the work was finished," she explains, and I smile.

"It's okay. I understand," I whisper. "The important thing is that you're here now."

"About the boys..." she starts to say, but I quickly cut her off.

"No, it's fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"But you need to, Cassie. You know that. Keeping it all inside will only make it worse. You know you can trust me. Vent it out. I'm here," she holds my hand.

I close my eyes, nodding. I search within myself for the strength to let out everything I'm feeling. Everything that's hurting me. I bite my lower lip and open my eyes. It's going to be okay.

"It's been some time since my friendship with the boys started cooling off," I begin, feeling her squeeze my hand in comfort. "You know I met Tae before he became famous, and he's the one who introduced me to the rest of the boys. Since then, we've had a very strong friendship. We weren't always together, especially with the tours and my work, but we were close, like a real family. No matter how long we went without seeing each other, nothing changed, until recently," I sigh. "Park Ji-Hye showed up about 2 months ago, a few weeks before my dad passed away. She auditioned for the dancer position and passed the test," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I saw her audition," she says.

"So, since that day, I saw her getting closer and closer to the boys. They were always talking about how cool and funny she is, and, you know, I was happy for them. A new friendship is always good, especially for them, who are famous and always have to be careful with opportunists. But it never crossed my mind that she would take the place I had in their lives," I smile sadly. "They started visiting me much less. Calling me much less. Inviting me to the dorm or out much less. Until the day I literally became nothing to them," I look at Adora, whose face is red with anger.

"These..." I interrupted her.

"You don't want to lose your job, right?" I ask, laughing. "And you can't blame them either. She became their official dancer, which means wherever they go, she's with them," I shrug. "She's with them all the time, and that surely made them closer to her. Even more than me," I feel my eyes welling up. "I don't want to lose them, but I feel like I already did."

"Hey," she shakes me. "Calm down, breathe. I know they messed up. And they messed up badly, but it doesn't mean they've forgotten about you," Adora says, trying to comfort me.

"They forgot me the day my dad died, Adora. I'll never forget that. I feel like on that day, I died twice. I remember calling them in desperation, crying, not knowing what to do, feeling like my world was falling apart," I pause as I feel all the emotions returning. "And they said they were coming, but they never showed up," I continued after a few seconds of silence. "After that, they sent me a message explaining that Park Ji-Hye had gotten hurt dancing and they were with her at the hospital," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I remember. She just fell on her butt, but she made a scene like she broke her back. Everyone was freaking out at the company, even Bang PD. But in the end, it was just drama," she laments.

"After that, they didn't even visit me. Not even once," I laughed with no emotion. "Right after, they forgot my birthday. I understand that I wasn't excited at all because of my dad, but it wouldn't hurt to receive some supportive or congratulatory messages from them. I was so upset that I sent some sad texts. In less than thirty minutes, they were knocking on my door. We cried a lot, but I felt like a part of me had come back to life and that everything was going to be okay," I sarcastically laughed. "I couldn't have been more wrong, could I?" I asked.

"Cassie..."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. After today, I finally understood," I grab a spoon. "They found someone better than me. Someone who can be with them all the time and help them when they need it. I'm just sad that person isn't me. Not anymore," I shove the spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, to prevent the tears stuck in my throat from coming out.

For the rest of the night, Adora didn't bring up the subject again, and I was grateful for that.

A random movie played on TV, but my mind was far away. I looked to the side and saw Adora sleeping with her mouth open. A piece of cookie rested on her cheek while her hand lay above her head. I silently chuckled, covering us and then turning off the TV.

A distant ringing sound caught my attention. I tapped around the couch until I found the phone under the cushion. My eyes automatically closed from the sudden contact with the bright screen, but just as they closed, they widened.

After the first notification, thousands started to show up. My heart throbbed in my chest as my body was flooded with nervousness.

"Min PD: Cassie, please tell me you're there."

"Joonie: Please respond. We're sorry. It wasn't our intention not to show up..." The message appeared cut off because I hadn't unlocked the phone yet.

"Hobierto: Believe us, Cassie. Please, we know you're awake. Answer us."

"Jinnie: Cassandra, we would never do anything to hurt you. Please let us explain."

"Mochi: Answer the phone."

After that message, a group call popped up on the screen. I stared at it, battling the urge to answer. I sighed deeply and threw the phone back onto the couch because no matter how much I wanted to talk to them, I was still hurt. I didn't want to answer and end up fighting. Saying things without thinking and ending up in a worse situation. The best thing to do now was to rest.

I made myself comfortable on the bed we had arranged on the floor, and put the pillow over my head to block out the notifications. When I didn't see any changes, I pressed the power button on my phone and confirmed it right away. I lay back down and took a deep breath. Tomorrow is a new day. Everything will be okay. ——————————————————

It wasn't even dawn when I heard knock after knock. Disoriented, I got up, searching for where the noise was coming from until my feet led me to the front door. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall and got irritated to see it was six past two in the morning.

I swung the door open, ready to argue with whoever had woken me up so early after going to bed so late, but I lost my voice when I saw the seven people I loved most staring at me ty forlornly.

I felt two arms embrace me tightly, followed by two more until I lost count. Desperate whispers for forgiveness echoed in my ear, making me feel loved... until a certain moment. Memories of what had happened the night before made me wake up from the sleep I didn't know I was in. Slowly, I distanced myself from the seven, able to see the tears streaming down some of their faces and sadness emanating from the others.

"Cassie..." Jimin starts. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't our intention to leave you alone in such a difficult time. Please, believe us."

"We didn't come here to lie to you, Cassandra..." Namjoon says. "It really wasn't our intention. I know this is going to sound completely wrong, but we made a promise to Ji-Hye. We promised to take her out to celebrate her birthday since she's far from her family and would probably celebrate alone," I try to hide a grimace.

They couldn't miss her birthday, but could miss mine.

"As soon as we finished eating, we were going to come straight here. And we really were, Cas, really. But the company called saying we had to go there to finalize the last details for the album. It was then that we sent several messages in the group, but you didn't see any."

"That's why we're here," Taehyung says, interrupting Namjoon. "Cassie, listen to me. You're one of the most important people in my life. Sorry if lately my actions haven't shown that, but please, please, Cas, don't be mad at us. I couldn't bear to know that you're upset because of me," he whispers.

"Go to the dorms tonight. Let's talk about this calmly," Hoseok suggests.

I remain silent for a few minutes.

"Come on, please. Hum? Hum?'' Tae shakes my arm. ''You'll go, right? Say yes," he asks.

"Okay," I sigh deeply. "I'll go."

I feel arms wrapping around my body again, and I relax, enjoying the contact. This time, the hug lasted only a few seconds. The boys said goodbye, saying they needed to be at the company in a few hours.

"Tonight at 7. We'll be waiting for you," Yoongi said and then left.

I closed the door, trying to contain my excitement and the obvious smile on my face. As I turned to go back to bed, I was startled to see only Adora's head peeking out from behind the couch. She had a radiant smile on her face as she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up," I say, making her laugh. ——————————————————

I look at the clock on the wall. It's 8:07 in the evening. Damn, I was late. I could already hear Adora's voice slowly emerging in my mind, saying that I should have listened to her and picked out my outfit earlier. Shaking my head, I focus on finishing getting ready. The last thing I needed right now was a lecture from my own mind.

I hear knocks and the doorbell ringing repeatedly.

"Shit," I mutter as I hop over to the door.

I try to put on my sock while walking to the door, but my unfailing plan soon becomes fallible when I trip over my own hand and fall on the floor. The knocks and the doorbell grow louder, and I feel irritation creeping in. "ALRIGHT, I'M COMING," I yell and pick myself up.

I walk back to the door with a pout and my hair completely tousled, covering my face. I take a deep breath, fix my hair, put on a fake smile, and finally open the door. As I see the seven people I love most in the world looking at me with confused faces, I feel my smile turn genuine, and the earlier irritation vanish as if it had never existed.

"Is everything okay? Why didn't you come?" I hear Taehyung ask as he scrutinizes me from head to toe."

"What happened? Something serious?" Seokjin asks, and I shake my head.

"No, guys, sorry. I almost died trying to choose a good outfit to wear and ended up running late, sorry," I explained laughing.

''What do you mean you almost died?" Jungkook asks as I watch their faces turn into a grimace."

"It was nothing, really," I reassure, taking a quick glance at Jungkook, who was holding back his laugh.

He knew it. I am sure he did.

"Are you sure you didn't... you know... fall on your ass?" he smirks. "I'm sure I heard a huge..."''

"Hobi," I said excitedly, "What do you have there?" I pointed to the bags he was carrying while Jungkook laughed.

That little prick.

''Food," he says, shaking the bags. ''We know how much you love eating''.

I chuckle and make way for them to enter. In a few minutes, the food was already on the coffee table, and an improvised bed was set up on the living room floor. I change into more comfortable clothes and join them.

"Look, before we start, we want you to know how sorry we are," Yoongi says.

"Yes... Sorry for not being there on the visitation's day," Jimin adds. "If there's anything you want to say, anything that's bothering you, please let us know. We'll fix it all, Cassie. ''he holds my hand.'' We want things to go back to how they used to be."

"We're here for you, Cas," Jin finishes, and I smile weakly.

I pause for a moment, feeling that it still wasn't the right time. So, I just sigh and shake my head.

"It's okay, guys. Really," I open with a smile. "Let's just watch this movie already. I'm dying to see who'll be the first one to cry and shake in fear like a little kitten." I say, trying to change the subject, and smirk when I realize it worked.

"I am sure it won't be me," Hoseok says with confidence. "Cause you know..." he shows off his muscles. "I'm a man," he pauses for a minute.

It doesn't take long until Hoseok's laughter fills the room, making everyone laugh.

"Who listens to him talking like this, doesn't even think the Gladiator sandal outside belongs to him," Jungkook says, making Hoseok look at him flabbergasted.

''Hey, what do you mean by that?'' he asks shookedt. ''It's fashionable''

"Yeah, Hobi. Sure is," Yoongi says, patting his shoulder.

''Why I don't believe you are being honest?'' Hoseok asks putting his finger under his chain. ''I'm going to expose you on Twitter. Or should I say X?''

''What? Are you into Xvideos?'' Namjoon asks as he returns.

Everybody stops and looks at him. When did he even leave to begin with?

"What were you doing, Joonie?" I ask, smirking at him. "Were you in the bathroom?" he nods as the rest of the boys laugh.

''Now we know why you are thinking naughtiness'' Jimin says.

Namjoon's face turns red as he shakes his hands nervously. He tries to sit down on the couch but somehow ends up falling on the ground. We can see his cellphone flying around the living room as he throws his arms in the air in an attempt to regain his balance, but it doesn't work, as expected.

''No need to be nervous, Joonie'' I say. ''Everybody masturbates once in a while.''

''Do we?'' Yoongi looks at me suspiciously.

"I mean," I chuckle nervously. "How did we even get to this conversation? Let's just watch the movie for God's sake."

"Nah, nah. Don't you try coming up with excuses," Tae says abruptly. "What do you mean by that? Are you dating someone?" Jungkook seems to be having fun as he opens a beer can.

''What? Me? Dating?'' I laugh. ''Not even close. But I can't say the same about Jungkook, can I?'' he chokes.

''Uh? What you on about?'' he asks as he cleans his mouth. ‘’Seven days a week, huh?’’ he burst into laughter. He pauses for a minute before smirking. "Hm, why's that, baby girl?" he says, leaning in my direction. "Are you jealous?" he asks, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Do you want me to…" he bites his lower lip. "You know," he says putting his finger on my lips. I can already feel the cringeness and second-hand embarrassment traveling throughout my body as the rest of the boys laugh. This prick. ‘’You really need to get out from twitter,’’ I say, shoving him away. ‘’The next step is to put up a black and white profile picture and call yourself a webdom’’ He raises both of his middle fingers in my direction before turning his attention back to the beer can. ‘’Are you guys done? Can I finally play this damn movie?’’ Yoongi asks, making everybody nod.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for them to leave. Unfortunately, they couldn't stay overnight. They had to leave very early the next day due to their schedule.

I hesitated to get up; I didn't want to accompany them to the door out of sheer laziness, and feeling Taehyung shaking me with his foot made me even more sluggish.

"If you keep doing that, I swear I'll fall asleep," I say, making him huff.

"Come on, sloth imitation. Take us to the door," Jimin says, but gives up when he sees Jungkook lying next to me.

"Jungkook, I'm sure you really like your video game, right?" Seokjin asks, and in a jump, Jungkook gets up.

"Are you really not taking us to the door?" Yoongi asks, and I remain silent. "Okay then."

When I open my eyes to see what he was going to do, I feel an arm gather and squeeze my legs while a hand starts tickling my feet furiously.

"JESUS!" I scream in surprise.

I heard laughter as I fought for my life. The strange feeling that tickling brought made me confused if I was laughing because I found it funny or if it was fear messing up my nervous system. The laughter increased as I writhed and screamed for help.

"YOONGI, YOU JERK!" I said without realizing that I was actually yelling.

"Weren't you sleepy?" Yoongi asks. "So, I'm trying to help you."

"WAIT UNTIL I GET UP, YOU PIECE OF BROWN SUGAR, I'M GOING TO END YOU."

"Are you going to take us to the door?" he asks.

"OKAY, OKAY, I'LL TAKE YOU, JUST STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD," I yell.

I feel my body calm down and my brain start functioning again as the tickling ceases. I looked at Yoongi who was laughing while sniffing his hand.

"Ew, you have smelly feet," he says, and I get up.

"Come here, you little jerk," I chase after him as he runs away mocking me.

After a few seconds, I could already feel that the 70% of water in my body had evaporated and the air in my lungs was scarce. When did my body become so sedentary?

"Idiot," I curse Yoongi who laughs. "I hate you."

"I love you too, beautiful thing," I hear him say.

Finally, I accompany them to the door. After a lazy farewell, I see them about to leave, but a click in my mind makes me stop them.

"As you know, I graduated from college, but since it was at the time when my father died, I didn't have any enthusiasm to celebrate. Adora recommended that I have a celebration the day after tomorrow night, since it's the weekend. Just to not let it go unnoticed. So... you guys are invited."

"We'll be here, don't worry," Namjoon says, and I smile nodding.

We say goodbye again, and this time, I see them leave. Seeing the elevator door close, I go back inside the house. The smile on my face never leaves me for a second, and finally, after so long, I could feel that things would really be okay.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Thanks to Adora, everything was organized on time. The food was ordered since neither she nor I wanted anyone to die from food poisoning. The time we ended up in the hospital the day we cooked for each other was enough. No need to repeat the dose.

I check the time on my phone and see it's 8pm. They would arrive at any moment, so I sit next to Adora on the couch to chat until then.

☂ ☂

Some time passed, and the boys still hadn't arrived. I look at the time again and see that it's 9:46. I try not to think the worst and choose to believe they would be here soon.

☂ ☂

I sigh deeply at seeing what time it is: 11:14. I try to ignore Adora's pitying look and get up from the couch. I suppress the tears once again. I am tired of crying. And more than ever, I realize that they don't deserve my tears.

"Cassandra..." Adora calls me, and I look at her. "I'm sure there's an explanation for this. Something must have happened at the company, and they couldn't let us know." I shake my head.

Something inside me told me that wasn't it, and I decided to trust my intuition.

"Adora, can you take me to the dorm?," I ask softly. "I don't think I'll have the courage to go alone," I weakly smile, and she nods.

"Of course, my love. Of course..." ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The car journey lasted less than I wished. My mind was constantly clouded by memories, anxiety making the painful memories hurt twice as much. I laughed in disbelief. I wondered what I had done wrong to deserve this.

"Thank you for bringing me," I look at Adora. "And thank you for always being by my side in difficult times. If I felt supported and loved, be sure that it's all because of you. You're an amazing person, Adora, and I hope you know that." she smiles.

"Regardless of what happens there, remember that you are enough. Not for them, but for yourself. Don't belittle yourself for them, Cassie, and don't let the love you feel for them speak louder than your self-love. If you survived two hellish months without their presence, be sure that you can live your life and be immensely happy in the future without them. I guarantee you that," I feel her hand squeezing mine for comfort, and I smile. "I'll be waiting for you here," I nod.

I get out of the car, feeling Adora's words take effect. I walk bravely towards the towering building, ignoring every feeling of nostalgia trying to invade me. I couldn't lose focus now.

Arriving on their dorm's floor, I feel my heart skip a beat. I pause for a moment and try to put my thoughts and feelings in order. Seeing no result, I lean against the wall and try in every way to avoid a panic attack that was about to come. As if it were a heavenly help, I feel my phone vibrate. With trembling hands, I pick it up and see a message from Adora.

"Don't forget, you are strong and capable. And never for a moment think you are alone, because I'm here for you."

I clutch my phone tightly. Adora is right. I am strong and I am capable. I can do this because regardless of what happens, I will be okay.

I take a deep breath, gathering all the strength and courage from my being, and knock on the door. I freeze when I realize what I've done, but I quickly compose myself. I will be okay.

A few seconds passed and no one answered, so I knocked again. But just like the first time, there was no response. After the third attempt, I decide to enter. Typing the password on the door, I entered the dormitory.

Upon realizing that there was no one in the main hall, the pounding of my heart calmed down. I begin to walk through the dormitory, recalling every good moment I had with my boys. I feel the sadness emanating in my chest once again.

I really didn't want to lose them.

As I walked down the corridor, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I started walking with firm steps, but I felt my legs waver when I heard a female voice among their voices. It was her.

"Jungkook-oppa, you're so silly," I hear her delicate laughter, feeling jealousy burning in my chest.

It should be me there.

"The silly you love," I hear Jungkook reply.

I could hear the happiness in his voice. It was as if they didn't need anyone else at the moment but her. And that made me hate her, but my own mind scolded me. She is not worthy of my hatred. She is as innocent as I am in this story. She did nothing to hurt me, so why would I hate her?

"Hinnie," I hear Hoseok's voice.

Hinnie...

"Try it and tell me what you think."

There was a moment of pause until applause and sounds of appreciation were made.

"It's amazing, oppa," she says. "You really keep improving in the kitchen every day."

Unable to bear it anymore, I think of simply turning around and leaving, but something catches my attention. And it was precisely there, in that moment, that I regretted staying.

"Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?" I hear Taehyung say, and I feel my body tremble.

Once again, there was a pause until someone shouted.

"Shit, really," Jimin said. "We forgot to take the drinks out of the freezer."

I feel my heart break, as if that were possible. I let out a disbelieving laugh and finally come out from where I was hiding.

"And try more of this," Hoseok suddenly stops. "Cassie..."

I hear the sound of something falling to the ground. Soon, everyone was staring at me wide-eyed. I repress the urge to laugh. I realize how messy my whole body was the moment I wanted to laugh and not cry.

"Oh no," Jimin says, as if remembering something. "The party."

With that said, everyone becomes even more desperate. Seeing them approaching, I panic.

"Don't come near,"

They quickly stop. I see them not knowing what to do. And it wasn't just them. I end up getting disoriented with so much pressure. Where did my courage go when I needed it most?

"Um... what's going on?" she asks, and I close my eyes.

It's not her fault. It's not her fault...

"Ji-Hye, could you leave us alone for a moment?" Namjoon asks.

"Yes, of course. It's time for me to leave anyway," she gets up. "I'll see you later," she says bowing both to them and to me.

After she left, silence hung in the air. I tried to hold back my laughter, but when I saw everyone's confused faces, I knew I had failed. When I noticed that no one was going to say anything, I took the initiative.

"Do you know what's more disappointing? It's that I really thought this time would be different," I shrug. "I guess I was wrong, wasn't I?"

"Cas..."

"Do you remember when you asked me if I had something to say, Jinnie? If something was hurting me? Well, I do, and I hope I won't be interrupted."

With no response, I continue.

"I feel like I died. It's been a while since I am just surviving," I start. "The fact that you didn't come to the visitation isn't the part that hurts the most, it's that you weren't there when my father passed away. I remember how desperate I was, and the only people I could think of were you. But you weren't there. Damn, you didn't even call." I whisper as tears fall freely down my face. "When I found myself alone in the hospital, realizing that the person who adopted me and chose me to love had died, that was my first death. The person who loved me, who looked beyond language or race barriers, and who taught me everything I know had suddenly left, without even giving me a chance to say goodbye. Do you know how I felt? Devastated."

I pause for a moment. Melancholy takes over my body as I recall all the feelings I felt that day, and for a moment, I allow myself to cry all I needed. I sob so much that I thought I might choke. Without caring about looks or pity, I just allowed myself, knowing that everything would be okay.

"When I called the only people I thought I could count on, and they told me they were coming, I didn't feel so alone," I let out a humorless laugh. "Until I realized that those people never arrived. The people who always said they would be there for me weren't there when I needed them the most. That was my second death," I look at Jin. "Don't say these things to anybody if they are not coming from your heart. Don't hurt anyone else by saying you have their backs or that you will always be there for them when in reality it's not the truth."

I look at each one. Their gazes were distant, as if they were reliving every moment.

"You know, I don't want you to think I'm mad at Park Ji-Hye. Actually, quite the opposite. I was really happy when you said you met someone nice. Someone who really cared about you and genuinely wanted your friendships. I know how tough it is for you to find real friendships with all the fame, so I felt fulfilled too. I remember telling daddy excitedly, and he laughed at my excitement, happy for you and for me. Right after that, I lost him, and little by little, I lost you too, like I was meant to be alone," I smile weakly. "I am sorry if I'm being selfish, but that's how I feel. You guys forgot my birthday. Forgot the visitation days, and to top it off, you forgot my graduation party. It's like you replaced me as if I never even existed in your lives, and that really hurts. Really.''

I finish, and only then I realize they were crying with me. Some didn't have the courage to meet my gaze. We spent a few minutes without anyone saying anything. The only thing filling the air was the sound of our sniffles and sobs.

"On the day your father died," Namjoon begins. "We felt like we had lost a family member because he was, in fact, one. I am truly sorry, Cas, but for me, Park Ji-Hye's fall was an escape. I didn't want to face reality. I wouldn't know how to react to the loss of someone so special, and I also wouldn't know how to act with you," he looks at me.

"On your birthday, we thought you would like to be alone. It would be the first without your father, so we didn't know what to do, Cassie. We panicked," Jimin sighs. "But now I realize how you felt," he laughs humorlessly. "My God, I never thought I'd be such a horrible friend. What a disappointment," he whispers, covering his face with his hand.

"On visitation days," I look at Hoseok. "I confess that I clung to any opportunity not to go, Cas," he cries. "Not because I didn't love you. I love you, and I love you very much, but I never knew how to react to death. The only two times I entered a cemetery, I spent the rest of the week feeling bad, with depressive thoughts. I also couldn't let Armys worry. I didn't want their 'Sun' to lose its brightness. I am so sorry for not being able to tell you this before. I didn't want to seem selfish."

I suppress a disbelieving laugh.

"Hearing all this, I realize how futile our apologies seem," Yoongi laughs weakly. "But they are true, Cassie... I understand what Hoseok says. You know about my history with depression, don't you?" he asks, and I nod. "It's the same thing for me. If I enter a cemetery, my thoughts don't stop. Some come in a worse form, and I feel like I'm going crazy."

"We were selfish, Cas," Seokjin says. "I was. I didn't want Armys to see us sad because I knew the chaos it would be. I have no words to express how special you are to me," he pauses. "Cassie, you are my sister, my family. You weren't crying alone; I cried with you. I just couldn't show it. I knew it would be worse if I saw you cry, just like I am seeing now."

There was a moment of silence. Until his voice broke.

"I am sorry," Taehyung says. "Damn, I don't even know what to say, Cassie. You are one of the most precious people I have ever met. I remember how you stayed with us through thick and thin. I also remember how happy you were for us at the beginning, and I know the genuine happiness you felt when we received our first award. You stood by my side when my grandma passed away. How could I not be by your side too? My God," he puts his hand on his head in an act of despair. "You stayed by our side when we thought about disbanding. It was you who helped us see why we are here, who helped us find reasons to stay," he looks at me anxiously. "How could I be so selfish?"

"We thought that regardless of anything, you would always be by our side. That you would understand us, even with our deplorable attitudes. We always thought we would have you next to us, so we neglected you," Yoongi shakes his head. I feel like he answered more to Taehyung than to me. "Damn, anjinho, I'm sorry," I lower my head as I hear him call me by the nickname I loved so much.

"The fact that we started a new friendship also influenced us," Jungkook says. "We were so excited that someone, besides you, wanted a friendship without interest that without realizing it, we put aside the one that had been with us from the beginning," I hear Jungkook say muffled, as his two hands covered his face.

"We don't deserve you, Cassandra. We left you at the most difficult moment of your life, and yet you never stopped loving us," Yoongi pulls his own hair, a habit he always did when he was nervous. "We can't let you leave thinking that we don't care about you because, Cassie, that would be a complete lie. With the stress of the comeback, things only got worse. It was rehearsal, recording, agendas to fulfill, productions, trips, tours. Our minds were a mess, and Park Ji-Hye tried to help us from there. We know she's not the one to blame, and it's not your fault either. It's ours and only ours. I know this will seem like a lame excuse, but I didn't want to let you go thinking that you aren't precious to us. You are Cas. And you always will be."

I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. If before I felt bad, now I feel ten times worse. It seemed like I didn't even know them anymore. The feeling of comfort they made me feel was replaced by anguish. By sadness.

I open my eyes, and for the last time, I look at my boys. I realize that Taehyung understood my gaze.

"Cassie, please... Please don't..." Taehyung starts, but is interrupted by Seokjin.

"Don't you dare say what I think you're going to say."

"But I can't lose her, Hyung. I can't lose her," Taehyung says, crouching down.

I think about going to him, but then I retreat my body. If I do that, I know my heart will weaken, and at the moment, the only person I need to think about is myself.

"I'm sorry, hyung, but I'll be selfish," Namjoon says to Seokjin, and I look at him confused. "I don't know what your decision will be, Cassie. I'll support you, even if you choose to leave without our friendship. But I beg you... Cassandra, I implore you, try to find in yourself a little piece that doesn't want to give up on us. It doesn't have to be now. I want you to heal, and I don't care how long it takes. The only thing I ask is that you don't forget us and don't give up on us. Come back to us when you feel ready. I don't want to lose you, Cas. I..."

"I really hope you find a way to forgive us, Cassie. But understand that if you don't, we'll understand. You, more than anyone else, have every right to hate us," Yoongi says, interrupting Namjoon. "I hope you don't forget about us because, with all my heart, we won't forget about you."

I feel my heart shattering with every tear that falls on their faces. I smile weakly. I will really miss them.

I bow in a sign of respect, and as I return to my normal position, I raise my hand to my heart.

"Thank you, my boys. For all the good moments. You were a very important part of my life, which I will carry forever. I will never forget about all of you," I smile faintly. "How could I forget my first true friendships? My first loves?" I whisper.

I take a breath and smile. A true smile. A smile of gratitude.

"Regardless of what happened, you guys deserve nothing but love and happiness. Don't let anyone say otherwise. Even far away, please remember I will always be cheering for your success. And whenever you feel unloved, remember I love you. Very, very much.'' I can hear their sobs getting stronger. ''Don't think I blame you for what happened; I think I finally understand that life has its ups and downs. People come and unfortunately go," I see Taehyung desperate, trying to find something to say. I look away. I need to be strong. "I hope that every day your friendship with Park Ji-Hye grows, and that you take from all of this a lesson.''

I take a deep breath, looking at them for the last time.

''From the bottom of my heart... I wish you to be immensely happy."

In a gesture, I send thousands of kisses. I see Tae wanting to approach, so I turn around and start walking towards the exit, and this time, I don't cry. I feel the weight of sadness in my chest, but the weight of peace for having put everything I felt out was greater. And for the first time in two months, I believe it when I say that everything will be okay.

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secret-life-of-9to5-polyglot · 6 months ago

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JLPT D-148 - welcome to my new blogging journey

So, my goal for this 2024 is to pass the JLPT N2 exam in December, so I have created an intensive study plan to tackle all the different areas (hopefully) in an efficient way before the exam date

I have tried two or three times to sit down and study hard to try the JLPT N2, but I always gave up in the end as I haven't been strategic and realistic about my studies

So why is this time different (or at least it will be different) ?

I decided to approach my JLPT studies as if it was my biggest career project of 2024, which kinda true is btw, so I got into project management and treated this new study goal as if I were the big girl boss in the room

LET'S BREAK DOWN THIS JLPT THING TOGETHER OK?

WHY >> why do I want to pass JLPT N2?

Having a piece of paper certifying my level of Japanese

To feel "validated," to prove that my years of study and passion were worth something

Certify I can work with companies who have Japanese clients or partners

DEADLINE >> December 1st 2024 (T . T)

MAIN PROBLEMS >> problematic elements in my daily life that could be obstacles to achieving my goal

Lack of time

Lack of energies

Possible strategies to overcome those problems:

Learn to manage my time better

Learn how to face my procrastination problem

Learn how to manage my energies better

Work on my sense of discipline

SUCCESS CRITERIA >> parameters that indicate positive progress

Improve my success rate during Anki sessions

Improve simulations' total scores

Improve the score of those vocab & kanji exercises that have the same structure of the ones I find on the exam paper MAIN STRUCTURE OF MY STUDY PLAN:

Create all the flashcards on Anki for the vocabulary and kanji in Sou Matome N2 books

Study all the grammar points in TRY! N2 book

Focus on how to tackle in an optimized way the different questions on the test

LOOOOOOTS of simulations of the exam

Anki daily streak

Daily exercises that cover the different parts of the exam

RESOURCES I AM GONNA USE AND THEIR PURPOSE:

Vocabulary & Kanji learning:

It was recommended by the Italki teacher I am taking weekly lessons from, it was the perfect choice for me indeed! I am using these two books mainly as flashcards prep

Grammar:

TRY! N2 is the main resource I use for learning new grammar points and patterns and I tend to compare its explanations with the ones in the　ESSENTIAL JAPANESE EXPRESSIONS GRAMMATICAL POINTS DICTIONARY

General exercises:

These books are like the step n.2, all about reinforcing my knowledge and getting used to test format

Simulation book:

Planning to make a simulation of the test 2 weeks, this will help with getting used to the tight time available

Now that I have noted down the resources I need to tackle before Dec. 1st, I created an extremely detailed of what I need to get through every day. Of course, it would be hard to keep up with as I am also adapting to a new workplace and getting my life together, so here's why I am also thinking about emergency plans for those days when I don't feel well at all. This is something I will develop on the go, but one of the side quests of this long journey is to also increase my focus time, study stamina, and discipline.

MAIN TIMELINE

Sharing all the extremely detailed plan would be too much, but I have divided these remaining 148 days into two main chunks of practice:

July - August : build the flashcard deck on Anki and study all the grammar points contained in TRY! N2

September - November : exercises

! one element that will be a constant presence in my study plan is doing at least 30 minutes of Anki revision + studying daily

This is more or less the complete overview of how I am going to tackle the JLPT N2 exam, I am feeling very energized and motivated.

Hopefully, I will also be able to update you on a daily basis here. Thank you so so much for your attention <3

#langblr #langblr community #japanese #japanese language #japanese study #jlpt n2 #jlpt exam #study plan #study tips #study motivation #study inspiration #study blog #learning japanese #japanese langblr

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docholligay · 2 months ago

Note

Would love to hear a little about how you decided characters birthdays while you don't care for astrology, seems interesting

I call my approach to astrology, "Astrology isn't real but Fareeha Amari is a Capricorn."

So any choice about when to have a character be born is MOSTLY chance. As annoyed as I am, and as much as I absolutely will not change my birthdays for the characters, which I settled on long long before Blizzard remembered that people are born on specific days, it's regrettably true that my choices are not INHERENTLY superior*

Anyway! I use a book, actually. A hilarious, stupid book, that I found in a coffee shop before beeb was born, when I used to spend every shabbat morning reading in a coffee shop. I went and bought a copy because I thought it was so fun.

So I went through it and basically matched my conception of the overwatch crew's personalities to the days, until i found one that was "right".

So, Lena, in my world, August 13th: (also the start date of the Battle of Britain!)

The Day of Long Odds

"...those born on August 13th at various times in their lives have to face seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on top and stay there.

'...although they can occasionally suffer from quite deep depressions, understandably, and feel beaten down by life, they more often maintain a cheerful, buoyant disposition...and manage to remain friendly, open, and above all, active.

"Many August 13 people have an attraction to danger that is not so much about risking death or injury, but triumphing over great odds. Achieving the impossible is what they are after."

"Those born on this day who recognize and take pleasure in how unusual they are are unlikely to even bother with [a lot of words for traditional progressive success] but prefer to cut their own strange path through life"

Their world, February 17:

"Because of criticism, expectations, or perhaps neglect, February 17 people come to realize very soon in their childhood that their sensitive natures will not survive unless they strengthen their defenses...such defenses may manifest primarily as secretiveness, suspicion, and armoring."

"Those born on this day do not wish to be hindered in their quest for self-fulfillment, so often they ignore what could be desirable human contact to avoid getting stuck or bogged down."

"They have an impressive earthiness, calm and physical presence which makes others sit up and take notice"

Obviously I am not criticizing them for not matching the book, because they are not USING the book, but you can see how I would never have picked such a day for Lena.

I'm not going to bore you with everyone, but my day for Fareeha, December 30th, is like "For them, it is important that the best possible job be done." "December 30 people hate mess and chaos." "They must be aware of dogmatically adhering to fixed principles"

So I think it's a great book for stuff like this because it gives some reason to pick a birthday that is good for human beings named Doc who are me, despite being upper level weird astrology.

*They are because I made them and I am the best OW person ever.

#also though 'astrology is fake but so is fareeha amari'#hilariously my birthday is 'the day of the mortal mirror'#and boils down to 'you will not fucking shut up about integrity morality and the human condition'

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popsickless · 9 months ago

Text

Help Me Out Would You? | part 1

[ a non canon story about neuvillette and Wriothesely ]

- proof read

- +17 only

________________________________

"How did i not see this coming." Neuvillette questions, pacing around the dukes office. Wriothesely chuckles, with his feet resting on his desk. "You're only one man, you cant control everything." He simply replies. Which was true, very true. No matter how hard neuvillette tried, he couldnt control all coners of the law in fontaine.

About 10 hours ago neuvillette had failed to sentence a criminal as guilty, despite having the correct evidence. The verdict was infact incorrect. Obviously he was outraged by the outcome. "Theres so much more I couldve achieved. It will have to wait until the next trial." Neuvillette sighs out of frustration and takes a seat on the red leathered sofa, right side of the office. He exhales softly, leaning in to the back of the sofa, Wriotheselys eyes on him the whole time.

He was always the person neuvillette would go to when something like this happened. He felt like it was a comfortable place to have a dig, without anyone else seeing, except Wriothesely of course. "Do you know what you need?" Wriothesely sits up from his desk, all perked up. Which was different from a minute ago when neuvillette was ranting about his day.

His head turns to the side, leaning an elbow on the arm of the settee. Obviously he was curious. "A massage." Wriothesely answers, getting up and walking towards the settee. Neuvillette shakes his head immediately. The first to protest about the recommendation. "I simply could not ask you to do such a favour. There is no need." He wafted his hand. Without wanrning, Wriothesely stands behind the settee and places both hands on neuvillettes shoulders.

"Ahh dont sweat it. Its a good job you arent asking." Wriothesely casually states. His hands start gently kneeding neuvillettes shoulders. Adding a little more pressure every so often due to the layers of clothing. Neuvillette didnt like the idea of doing things for himself. It was always about other people and he was comfortable with that. So this was a different setting. His head tilts back a little as the relaxation starts to kick in.

Maybe Wriothesely was a little too good at this. Neuvillette was holding back any sounds of comfort as possible, he managed to obtain them for some time until Wriothesely started massaging his shoulder blades. A soft gasp leaves his lips as the muscles in his back tenses up. "There we go..." Wriothesely says in a calm tone. "I never get to see you like this, Consider this a reward for the both of us" He adds, continuing the circular patterns he was doing before.

Expecting an answer, Wriothesely stops for a moment and leans in. A word hadn't come out of neuvillettes mouth.

"You good?" He asks curiously. But neuvillette was leant back with a hand over his mouth and his eyes shut. A sparke lights up in Wriotheselys eyes. "Ohh.." said in a low chuckle. He continues the massage, this time intentionally going for the sides of neuvillettes body, which causes a louder gasp to come out.

"Ah. Stop.." Neuvillette jolts, and sits up from the settee. His face had gone a bright red, as he immediately adjusts his blue coloured blazer. Wriothesely knew exactly what was going on. He knew vulnerability wasnt neuvillettes strong suit but this was a whole different type of emotion he had never encountered with him before.

"Whats with you? You seemed to be dazed off a moment ago?" He questions, taking a step back from the settee. Neuvillette stays silent for a moment, glancing towards the side. "I do not expect you to go to such lengths for me. I have to get going, i am needed elsewhere for tomorrows preparations."

Wriothesely doesn't stop him, instead he watches him walk out of the office without another word. How could he be so stubborn towards himself. "I was so close to breaking through. Pain in my ass." He mumbles. He takes a seat behind his desk, resting an elbow on the arm and his chin in his hand. All Wriothesely could think about was the elegant noises that came from neuvillettes mouth.

"Fuck...if he'd just let himself take a break."

The next morning , neuvillette prepares for the several meetings he had planned for the day. Leant over the bathroom sink, he took a minute to examine himself in the mirror. There stood the reflection of the shirtless man. Softly, he runs his finger tips underneath his eyes to try diminish the light pink circles. Thinking about yesterday, he runs his hands over his shoulders, and retraces every movement that was made by Wriothesely.

It wasnt the same. The massage did help a lot. His body felt more tender than usual. A part of neuvillette felt guilty for leaving so early. He takes a short sigh and leaves his bathroom. "Time to get ready i suppose."

Suddenly a ring of the doorbell filled the silence. Neuvillette peeped outside of the view hole, of course it was Wriothesely. He opens the door and gives a soft smile. Wriothesely smirks as his eyes go from the top of neuvillettes chest to the bottom of his stomach. "Bad timing?" He sarcastically asks, inviting himself into the house.

Neuvillette stood to the side, closing the door behind them. "You could say so." He shrugs, walking into his closet, which was a whole room. It was way too fancy, anyone could tell that whoever lived here was mega rich. It was also part of the reason why Wriothesely visited so much. The vibe wasnt exactly awkward but it wasnt exactly normal.

They were both still thinking about last night. Waiting for the other person to bring it up first. "I have a que of meetings for the day. whatever your requests are, make them quick" Neuvillette insisted as he rummaged around the closet for the same outfit he wore everyday. "Well what time do you have to be there.?" Wriothesely asks, admiring the shirtless man. The way his ash white hair dangled to the midpoint of his back. Even when neuvillette moved his body the slightest, it was still so elegant and beautiful.

Neuvillette sighs out of irritation, his patience was running thinner by the second. It was clear that the work had finally caught up to him. His behaviour had been different for the past couple of months and Wriothesely wanted to do something about it. "Hey.." he grabbed neuvillettes arm and turned him around. His eyes widened as they analysed every aspect of Wriothesely face. "Theres no need for worrying, im alright." Neuvillette falsely informs. But Wriothesely didnt buy a word of what he was saying.

He dragged neuvillette to the bedroom and forcefully pushed him down onto the bed. "Sit." He insisted. But neuvillette resisted. With just his black trousers on, white socks and no shirt, he lightly pushed Wriothesely out of the way. "W-what are you doing. Please stop making a fuss." Neuvillette asked, but was quickly silenced by Wriothesely pushing him back on the bed. His eyes were dark, dominant. Like he couldnt hold himself back.

"I said sit." Neuvillette struggles as Wriothesely climbs on top to pin him to the bed. "Wriothesely...I cannot-"

"Ill cover your meeting, ill reschedule them. There's no way you're getting out of this house today." Wriothesely commands. He slowly starts to massage the sides of neuvillettes body like he did yesterday.

Fingers trailing down every inch of his body, he begins to lightly press his lips againts neuvillettes chest. Soft and shallow breaths start to leave his mouth as hes forced to take in the pleasure. "You're taking a day off, and im going to help you." Wriotheselys words were demanding but soft. The further things went the more Neuvillette started to lean into every touch and sensation. With one arm pinning neuvillettes body to the bed, the other starts tracing the dents and curves of neuvillettes lower stomach.

"P-please. Stop.." he whimpers, he was reluctant on not allowing himself to feel pleasure, however that wasnt going to stop Wriothesely. "Help me out will you, and shut up." Wriothesely slowly drags his thumb across neuvillettes bottom lip. Eyes glued onto eachother. It was like looking into the ocean. Deep blue eyes, but bright enough to see his own reflection.

Neuvillette was completely overtaken with lust. As much as he didnt want to feel this way he couldnt help it. He could feel himself start to grow more desperate. Wriothesely moved lower down his body, planting small, wet kisses along the way. He invited himself to undo neuvillettes zipper.

Taking in the sight of every motion, neuvillettes face starts to grow more flushed. "Oh god...." he whispers to himself.

As Wriothesely begins to see the act through, his thumbs caressed the dents of neuvillettes v line. Finally placing his fingers around the thing thats been twitching ever since Wriotheselys hands touched his skin.

With every motion, a small and supressed whimper left neuvillettes lips, his eyes closing as he starts softly thrusting into Wriotheselys hand.

The sight, the sounds wanted him to grow more violent.

The faster he went the more the wet sounds could be heard. "S-slow down....or." Neuvillette begins to whisper through harsh breaths. "About to what..hm?" Wriothesely mocks. Instead of listening to neuvillettes pleaded words. He begins sucking faster, digging his nails into the sides of neuvillettes thights.

That was it. There was no holding back. A sensation he hadnt felt in so long. Neuvillette gribs Wriotheselys hair and starts pushing his head deeper. His moans becoming louder with each thrust. His hips started moving in rhythm with Wriotheselys tongue. The sounds of pleasure was like music to his ears, egging him on to suck harder, running circles on his tip with his tongue. That was enough to send neuvillette over the edge.

Completely shaken up by peak of his orgasm. They both take a minute to catch their breaths.

Wriothesely glances up to neuvillette. Grinning as he shuffles up his body. "In my mouth...really?" He chukles, admiring the worn out facial expression on neuvillettes face. Neuvillette sits up and rubs his eyes. "I never really got the choice." He replies, giving a small smile. They both clean up, and neuvillette gets ready for the rest of the day.

Taking a stroll through the city of fontaine, Wriothesely drops neuvillette off at his office. They both stand outside the entrance, looking at eachother. "I would like to thank you for this morning, as much as it inconvenienced my schedule..." Neuvillette begins to say. Wriothesely gives him a humorous chuckle, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Thats what friends are here for." He jokes.

Just as neuvillette was about to walk in he turns around last second. "What about you though? Shouldn't I-"

"Dont you think i have many other people to do that for me on a regular basis." Wriothesely jokes. He nods his head politely and making his way into the building, leaving Wriothesely to go back to the fortress of meropide.

They both couldnt help thinking, was this the start of something new?

#neuvillette smut #wriothesley #wriothesely x reader #neuvillette x wriothesley #genshin smut #genshin impact #fanfic

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bellaxgiornata · 2 years ago

Text

Safe Haven [Chapter Six]

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.2k [Series Masterlist]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains violence, drug use, domestic abuse, smut, hurt/comfort, angst, mutual pining, friends to lovers

a/n: This one brings some fluff and intrigue! And Birdy being Birdy... I always appreciate feedback so feel free to chat with me! And hopefully I didn't mess anything up, I did a fast edit so I could post!

Tag list: @loveroftoomanyfandoms @farfromstrange @rotscinema @1988-fiend @shouldbestudying41 @shiorimakibawrites @norestfortheshelbywicked @mattmurdocksstarlight @acharliecoxedfan @roseallisonparker @yarrystyleeza @dramaholic18 @mattkinsella2 @ms-murdockswift @theetherealbloom @24hflower @mattmurdocksscars @schneeflocky

Bright light hitting the back of your eyelids caused you to stir, a faint groan falling out of you. Tightening your eyes closed further, you burrowed into the warmth beside you, nuzzling your face further into your pillow. You’d had a peaceful sleep for once, this time not waking up with a headache from the wine you usually drank to achieve a sleep so undisturbed, and you didn’t want to wake up. You were comfortable. But the warmth around your waist unexpectedly squeezed you in return and your eyes flew open instantly.

You were met with the sight of a blue and white striped sweater, your mind quickly falling back to the previous night. You had come over to check on Michael after you’d seen him break down in his room through your bedroom windows that faced each other. He’d told you how he’d been there when his nephew–no, his son , you reminded yourself–had been accidentally shot and killed. He’d also told you how no one else in his family had been there for him.

Which remained true last night, too. You had told Michael you’d be there for him as long as he needed you, and that had turned into the pair of you staying up for quite awhile talking last night. Generally about not much in particular–certainly nothing personal on either of your accounts–but the conversation always managed to loop back to Jamie. And Michael had broken down each time the topic of his son’s passing was brought back up. Through the hours you’d been sitting on his sofa with him, not once had someone called him or came to his door to check on him. Not a single time.

Your heart had broken at that knowledge, which was probably why you’d stayed so late here that you had apparently fallen asleep on Michael. Now your cheeks were heating up with embarrassment realizing you were about to experience another awkward moment with him. Biting your lip, you tried to glance up and see if he was awake, but all you could see from where you were positioned on his chest was his dark beard and his mouth. And for a moment your eyes lingered on his lips, becoming all too aware of the solid feel of Michael beneath you. Eyes closing, you breathed in the warm scent of him that seemed to envelope you. He smelled like something earthy and smoky, the scent reminding you of the many birch trees you’d seen around Ireland when you arrived, but also something warm, too, almost like cinnamon. The scent of him reminded you of a bonfire on an autumn day–comforting and peaceful.

His unmistakably large palm ran up the length of your spine as beneath you Michael apparently stirred awake himself. He inhaled a deep breath, your head rising up with the movement of his chest, as his hand slid up your back. You fought the urge to physically shudder under his palm–his touch had felt too good. And it was wrong in so many ways for you to have enjoyed that as much as you had. But then Michael’s hand abruptly stopped just between your shoulder blades as if he, too, realized the situation the pair of you were in.

Very slowly you pushed yourself back from Michael, realizing you had one arm wrapped around his waist and one hand gripping his shoulder. You removed them both quickly, your eyes awkwardly meeting his as you did. His own arms immediately slid their way off of your waist, returning to his lap as he sent you a sheepish smile.

“Well this is certainly…” you muttered, voice trailing off as you glanced away.

“Awkward?” he supplied.

You nodded, tucking some hair behind your ear as you did. “Yeah,” you agreed. “Just a–a bit. I uh, I’m sorry for–”

“Don’t apologize,” he said quickly, cutting you off.

Your eyes flew back up to meet his, taking in the gentle expression on his face. The smile on his mouth was still there, though it looked slightly less timid than it did seconds ago.

“I uh, I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep,” you mumbled.

“Neither did I,” he admitted.

Silence fell between the pair of you as you shifted a little bit away from him on the cushions. Your eyes fell down towards your feet, taking in the sight of your mismatched socks. Heat was still burning at your cheeks as you sat there incredibly aware of his presence beside you. Sucking in a sharp breath, you turned to Michael and spoke at the exact same moment he did.

“I should go.”

“D’ya want some coffee?”

The both of you sat there, trying to catch what the other had just said. Your lips parted, eyes going wide at his offer. Meanwhile Michael’s expression returned to sheepish as he ducked his head, running a hand over the back of his neck. He nodded solemnly.

“I understand,” he whispered.

“I mean I–” you began slowly, stopping to nervously bite your lip when he immediately looked up at you from under his lashes, his hand pausing on the back of his neck. “I could…go for a coffee,” you finished lamely.

“Yeah?” he asked, his hand falling down to his lap as he perked up. “It’s probably not anythin’ fancy to ya, I’ll admit.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “As long as it’s not decaf I’ll happily drink some caffeine right now,” you replied. “I just uh, should probably call Megan. If you don’t mind? She had that shift last night and is probably wondering what the hell happened to me now that I think about it…”

Michael waved a hand as he rose from the sofa. “No, go ahead. I’ll get a pot brewin’ in the kitchen. Which is just down the hall there,” he said, pointing down his hallway.

You nodded, sliding your phone out of your pocket as Michael turned and exited the sitting room, making his way towards the kitchen. Immediately you noticed you had a few calls and texts from your sister. The last one was from ten minutes ago. Heart sinking at having worried her, you quickly dialed her number and waited as the phone rang. But it only took two rings before she picked up.

“Fucking hell, are you okay?” Megan asked, voice full of concern.

“Yes, I’m so sorry, Meg,” you told her in a rush. “I would normally have sent a text or something but it was late and I guess I fell asleep without realizing it. I just woke up and figured I’d give you a quick call so you wouldn’t be worried. I’m so, so sorry.”

Megan blew out a rough breath on the other end of the line. You felt awful for making her worry like that, especially with the two shifts she’d had to work at the hospital and especially with your situation. She’d probably gotten shitty sleep last night and it was all your fault.

“I thought you were fucking gone,” she whispered. “Or–or dead .”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Meg,” you repeated. “I really am. It won’t happen again.”

“Where are you?” she asked. “If you’re not here, where the fuck did you fall asleep?”

You cleared your throat, your eyes darting towards the partially open door of the sitting room. Briefly you wondered if Michael could hear you. Would he be listening in?

“I’m uh, next door,” you said awkwardly.

There was a moment of silence before Megan let out an ear splitting shriek. It was so loud that it startled you and you had to pull the phone away from your ear until she was done.

“Christ, thanks for that,” you muttered.

“You fucked him didn’t you?” she squealed. “Oh my God, you took my advice!”

“Pretty sure that wasn’t your advice,” you said, lowering your voice. “But no, I did not do that.”

Megan scoffed over the line. “Yeah, okay. As if there’s any other reason you’d be there the whole night,” she said.

“He was grieving ,” you snapped, your voice a quiet hiss. “I saw him through that damned bedroom window and I couldn’t just–just ignore him. So I stopped by and we talked. Ended up falling asleep on his couch with him. Nothing of that nature happened.”

“So you’re coming back over now?” she asked slyly. “Because if you’re calling me instead of just coming back home, I’m guessing the answer is no.”

Eyelids dropping closed, you knew she’d caught you there. Your shoulders fell as you sighed.

“He’s making me coffee,” you admitted. “So I’ll be back after that.”

“Oh, you’re staying for morning coffee?” Megan teased. “He’s not trying to kick you out already? Damn, sis, he wants you bad .”

“Stop it,” you warned.

“Come off it,” she replied. “You know you want him. Stop trying to hide it from me. I’m not an idiot.”

“I’m hanging up now,” you said.

“Just undo that man’s zipper, get on your goddamn knees, and ta–”

You hit the ‘end call’ button in the middle of her comment, already knowing exactly where she was going with that. More than likely she’d be repeating all of that to you when you went back home after that coffee. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t about to go into Michael’s kitchen and try to not think about his cock.

“Fuck,” you breathed out.

The memory of his strong arms around your waist just moments ago resurfaced. It had felt so incredibly good to be wrapped around him when you’d woken up, your head resting on his firm chest. He’d smelled good, too. Better than you could have imagined. You knew you weren’t going to be able to forget about that now–any of it.

Shaking your head, you tried to push all of those thoughts aside for the time being. Now wasn’t the time to make sense of them. Michael was probably wondering what was taking you so long. Rising to your feet, you slid your phone into the pocket of your sweatpants and shuffled your way around his coffee table and towards the hallway. As you walked, you realized his kitchen was the same distance from the sitting room as Megan’s was from hers. You figured he'd probably heard at least some of that conversation and that thought had you blushing.

When you rounded the corner and turned into the kitchen, you spotted Michael already pouring coffee into mugs on the small island counter. His eyes darted up to you, a small smile on his lips as you stepped over towards the kitchen island. Gradually you came to stand at the opposite end of it, leaning your hands against the black countertop.

"How d'ya take your coffee?" he asked.

"I'll drink it black," you answered. "I don't need all the extra in it."

He picked up one of the white ceramic mugs and took two steps towards you, holding the cup out to you. You whispered a soft 'thanks' as you accepted the steaming mug from his hands before drawing it to your lips. Swallowing the hot liquid down, you eyed the coffee mug in your hands in surprise–it was better than you'd expected.

"What? Not good?" Michael asked curiously.

Your attention turned to him over the top of the mug and you immediately shook your head. "This is actually better than those coffee pods Megan has," you responded. "You apparently have good coffee."

You thought you saw pink tinge his cheeks as he turned towards his fridge, opening it and pulling creamer from a shelf. He poured some into his own mug as he shook his head.

"Can't actually take the credit," he admitted. "Birdy was the one who picked it out." His eyes rose up and fell on you as he put the cap back on the creamer. "Ya met her already, from what I've heard."

"Ahh, yes," you replied, bringing the mug back up for another drink as you carefully thought out your response. "She did pay me a welcoming visit the other day," you continued after your sip. "Seems like a sweet woman. Apparently she knows good coffee then."

That seemed a safe reply.

Michael chuckled, nodding as he turned and opened the fridge door again to put away the creamer. "She's certainly somethin'," he mumbled.

Both of your hands held onto the warm mug, oddly enjoying the coffee and the light conversation with Michael this morning despite the awkwardness of having woken up on top of him. Across the small kitchen island, he raised his own mug to his lips, his eyes on you. With the bright sunlight pouring through the large window just to your left, you could see the varying flecks of green and brown in his eyes. They still seemed to hold a lot of pain in them, but they also somehow looked lighter this morning than any other time you’d run into him yet. A little less mournful, somehow.

“Thank ya for stayin’,” he said softly, breaking the silence.

You shrugged, fingers nervously fidgeting against the mug in your hands. “Wasn’t a big deal,” you mumbled.

“It was to me,” he replied.

His eyes held yours and it felt like his gaze had somehow pulled you in yet again; you couldn’t seem to look away from him. His elbows were resting on the countertop as he slowly leaned in further towards you, and even though he was still a few feet away, the little gesture felt somehow intimate. Your pulse quickened when his mouth opened, as if he was about to say more but he was still trying to process how to put it into words. Movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention though, and somehow your focus finally shifted away from his and down towards it.

And then you screamed, jumping backwards and almost spilling your coffee when you registered what you’d seen. Michael instantly tensed, pushing off of the countertop and immediately making his way over towards you. He was anxiously looking out of his front window, his back to you as he came to a stop just in front of you.

“What?” he asked quickly, eyes still searching out of the window.

You shifted around him a bit, your finger pointing down at the kitchen island. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Michael’s brows furrowing as his gaze followed to where you were pointing. It took him a moment but when he saw what had startled you, you saw his shoulders visibly relax. He looked over his shoulder at you, a grin sliding across his lips. There was a glimmer of amusement lighting up his eyes and quickly replacing that hint of panic you’d picked up on.

“A spider?” he asked.

“Yes!” you said, taking another step back and cowering around your mug. “I fucking hate spiders!”

“It’s a little spider, Grace,” he said, amused. “It’s not goin’ to hurt ya.”

Peeking back around Michael, your eyes dropped down to where it was crawling towards you on the countertop. You cringed, taking another step back. Michael’s brows rose high onto his forehead as he turned fully towards you, his lips curling into an even wider grin as he took in your reaction.

“Okay, well either it goes or I go,” you told him. “So on that note–”

His amusement quickly vanished at your words before he abruptly cut you off.

“I’ll get rid of it,” he stated.

Gaze flying back up to him, you watched as he turned and searched around the counter beside the pair of you for a second. He grabbed an unopened envelope from a stack of mail sitting in the corner and turned back around. You had expected him to smash the insect with it, but instead you watched as he very gently placed the envelope down in front of the spider. Ever so carefully he coaxed it onto the piece of mail and then gingerly he lifted it from the countertop. You backed up almost entirely down the hallway towards the sitting room as he made his way out of the kitchen. He chuckled softly as he turned to the right, making his way to the front door. You watched in curiosity as he unlocked the door and stepped outside, crouching down and releasing the spider out there instead of simply just killing it on the counter.

He stood back up before turning to face you where you were still cowering in his hallway. He was grinning just outside the front door at you, the amusement back on his face.

“Does that work for ya?” he asked, tone almost teasing.

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” you said awkwardly.

You could feel the heat once again rising to your cheeks this morning. How embarrassing, getting worked up over a spider in front of some Irish mobster. Though it was oddly telling about his character with how gently he dealt with it. And how he’d seemingly moved in front of you when you’d initially screamed, as if he’d maybe been trying to protect you from a threat outside, something vastly more serious than a spider. And that had you curious in more ways than one.

“Michael, what’re ya doin’ out here, dear?”

At the unmistakable sound of Birdy’s voice, you instantly tensed. Your hands tightened around your mug, your heart rate once again rising. You knew she was aware of something being off about you, especially because she’d apparently been watching you lately. Finding you here at Michael’s first thing in the morning having coffee was only going to raise further suspicion and interest about you.

“Was just gettin’ rid of a spider,” he said, glancing at Birdy who you assumed was just outside the door. “Grace is afraid of ‘em.”

“Oh,” Birdy said, her tone noticeably shifting. “I didn’t know ya already had company, Mikey dear. So ya have the lovely Grace here this mornin’?”

Michael shot you an apologetic look before Birdy appeared just inside the doorway. She was wearing another dress and heels, her hair in perfect curls and her face made up. She shot you a wide smile that only sent chills down your spine–it wasn’t exactly a friendly smile.

“I wasn’ tryin’ to intrude, but do ya mind if I stop in?” Birdy asked, her eyes shifting back and forth between you and Michael behind her.

You cleared your throat, taking a few steps towards the kitchen. “I can just go–”

“Nonsense, love,” Birdy said, her eyes dropping to your mug. “Ya haven’t even finished your coffee yet!” She waved a hand dismissively as she stepped inside, Michael following behind. “I don’t want to ruin your mornin’. Just stoppin’ by to see how Michael was doin’.”

“I uh, I’m grand,” Michael said, closing his front door.

Birdy hummed out a noise in response as she stepped into the kitchen, her eyes curiously landing on you. That wide smile was still on her face, her focus not even remotely on Michael as he stepped around behind you, one of his hands lightly brushing along your lower back as he tried to maneuver around the small space back to his mug.

“So ya don’t like spiders, dear?” Birdy asked.

“I’m certainly not a fan of them, no,” you answered her, a strained, polite smile on your lips.

Michael chuckled lightly. “Shoulda heard the scream,” he teased.

Birdy shrugged indifferently, her eyes never leaving you. “They’re not for everyone. Some o’ them give me a fright, too.”

You brought your mug to your lips, trying to drink the coffee down faster without being too obvious. You wanted an excuse to leave now, your peaceful morning with Michael completely disturbed with her presence here. Her piercing stare was making you uncomfortable.

Birdy’s head tilted to the side as she continued to study you. “How d’ya feel ‘bout snakes then, Grace?” she asked curiously.

You froze, the mug just at your lips. For a moment it felt like you couldn’t breathe as her words hit you. Very slowly you lowered the cup from your mouth.

“What?” you asked.

“Snakes, love,” Birdy repeated. “Ya know, those slithery little serpents. Ya like those?”

On the opposite side of the kitchen island from her, Michael raised his mug to his lips. He seemed almost unphased by Birdy’s odd question, though his brows drew together at it while he drank down his coffee. You, on the other hand, were all too aware of her touching on something that was making you want to bolt out the front door just to your left. You were pretty sure she was onto something.

“No,” you responded, your voice sounding off even to your own ears as you spoke, “I–I’m not really a fan of those either.”

“Hmm,” Birdy hummed out, her blue eyes fixed on you. There was a long, awkward pause before she said, “Then I s’pose you won’t like the collection o’ snakes Michael’s brother has in his basement.”

Swallowing hard, you sent her a weak smile. “No,” you agreed, your voice still off, “I suppose I wouldn’t.”

Michael’s attention shifted towards you, his eyes narrowing a bit before they returned to Birdy. You could practically hear his mind beginning to work, picking up on the weird tension now palpable in his kitchen. You raised the mug to your mouth again, drinking down the hot coffee faster.

“You’re a writer, correct?” Birdy continued, that smile still on her lips. “I seem to recall your sister sayin’ that.”

“Yes,” you answered quickly.

“You’ve got some sort of series published, yes?” she pressed. “A whole load of books in it?”

“Mhmm,” you responded, your nerves increasing.

Birdy’s eyes narrowed, her attention dropping down to the countertop as one of her manicured nails tapped her chin. Michael was watching her curiously now, his coffee forgotten on the island.

“What was the series called again?” she mused aloud. Her eyes widened a second later before they darted over to you. “ The Road to Hell , yes?”

Fuck me.

Forcing another tight smile on your face, your cheeks aching at the gesture, you nodded once. “Yeah, that’s the one,” you said, voice tense.

“Ya know, I’ve heard of that series before. But I thought that was actually written by a…” her voice trailed off for a moment, that thoughtful look briefly returning to her face. A moment later she said it–your real name.

“It’s a pen name,” you explained simply.

“Odd ya pick your sister’s last name for a pen name,” Birdy replied slowly.

“Guess I was more creative with the actual story than the pen name,” you said, fighting to keep the edge out of your voice.

“Ahh, well,” she said, shrugging lightly. “Maybe I’ll have to pick up some copies, seein’ as the lovely author lives just down the street.”

Throughout the entire exchange between you and Birdy, you had noticed the way Michael remained silent, simply studying the pair of you. Just watching the back and forth with increasing interest.

You needed to get out of here. Make an excuse and leave.

“You know, it’s actually great you brought that up,” you said, feigning like you’d just remembered something. “I forgot I actually have a conference call with my editor and my publishing company this morning. I should probably head back home and get ready for that.”

With shaky hands, you reached out and set your almost empty mug onto the countertop. Michael pushed off of the island instantly, his face falling a bit as he made his way towards you.

“I can walk ya out,” he offered.

Behind him, Birdy popped her hip out and leant against the countertop. One of those cat-that-ate-the-canary smiles slipped onto her mouth as she eyed you.

“Was lovely chattin’ with ya, Grace,” she said.

You shot her a tense smile, not trusting your words right now. In a hurry you turned and left the kitchen, grateful the front door was so close by. You could feel Michael just at your back as you slipped your feet into your shoes in a rush. Before you could reach a hand out to open the front door though, Michael was already maneuvering around you in the tight hallway and opening it for you. Your eyes met his yet again, some of your nerves momentarily dissipating when he smiled at you.

“I’ll uh, see ya later then?” he asked hopefully.

“I mean I–I do live next door,” you replied, aware Birdy was most likely eavesdropping from the kitchen. “So most likely.”

He nodded and you quickly turned, stepping outside and briskly walking down his drive and away from his house. You could practically feel Birdy’s inquisitive eyes on you from the kitchen window as you went. Rounding the tall stone fence in a hurry, you made your way straight to Megan’s front door.

So Birdy had apparently been doing some research on you. And if that was the case, well then, you figured two could play that game.

“I’m sure I’m not the only one with secrets,” you muttered to yourself, unlocking Megan’s front door. “Guess it’s time to see what the Kinsellas’ are hiding.”

#michael kinsella x you #michael kinsella x reader #michael kinsella x female reader #michael kinsella #kin amc #kin fanficiton

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the-sun-and-the-sea · 1 month ago

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Annie Cresta Week Day 6: Paint the Town Red

Annie sighs heavily and adjusts her braid on her shoulder.

Summer is creeping slowly into autumn, but District Four has a way of stretching the heat out. Today is one of those days. Free strands of hair have begun to escape her braid, curling in the humid air, but she can’t bother to exert the effort required to redo it. Sweat beads at her hairline, but going inside to any one of the Village’s cool air-conditioned houses would be admitting defeat.

This challenge is inane, but that’s what makes it fun.

“Nice weather,” Annie comments casually. Finnick’s lips twitch like he wants to disagree.

“Yeah,” he says. Somehow he looks fine, even in the heat. Does anything faze him? “I could sit out here all day.”

Is it dumb to spend a day trying to see who could endure the heat for longer? Maybe it is. But to Annie this is a victory. Her arena almost one year ago was brutally warm, but unlike District Four’s heat, it was dry. That’s what makes this bearable now. It’s funny how the smallest things can make the biggest difference. Still, there’s no way she’d be able to do this on one of her bad days, and this past year has taught her to appreciate every achievement.

Mags graciously let them use her porch swing for their challenge, which at least provides some breeze. Even so, the heat is oppressive.

“I want to celebrate my birthday,” she says.

Finnick’s eyes brighten. “Next week, right?”

“You remember? We didn’t even do anything last year.”

Last year, when Annie turned nineteen, she was only a few months out of the arena. Her birthday had been completely swallowed by dealing with…everything. This year, she’s in a better place, and all she wants to do is make up for lost time.

“Of course I remember,” he says, grinning. “I remember everything.”

“And you’re humble, too,” Annie says, nudging his shoulder a bit.

“I also remember that you like taking the boat out,” Finnick continues. “We do that all the time for birthdays here.”

“I don’t have a boat. And yours is too small.”

“Too small?” he asks, affronted. “Too small for what?”

Annie can practically feel his anticipation buzzing in the air. Maybe he can be fazed after all. “For the party.”

“Annie Cresta,” says Finnick, with all the reverence one might offer the ocean. “Are you suggesting we have a boat party?”

Maybe the heat is starting to melt her brain. It’s true that she doesn’t initiate these things often, but so what? She’s feeling fine for once, and she wants to take advantage of it. “What, you can’t handle it?”

Finnick’s standing up now, running a hand through his hair. “I can definitely handle it. You’re the birthday girl, so just sit back and relax, okay?”

With that, he takes off into Mags’ house.

The blast of cool air is heavenly on Annie’s skin. She can practically feel a sunburn starting to blister. None of that matters, though, since technically he entered the house first. “Finnick!” she calls after him. “You know this means I won, right?”

------

She honestly doesn’t know how he does it, but Finnick manages to secure them Kai’s boat.

Kai is one of Four’s nine victors, and perhaps the most elusive one of them all. Annie can’t say she’s ever had a conversation with him, but obviously Finnick has. “I just name-dropped Mags and he was fine with it,” he explains as she takes in the view of the huge boat.

Aside from Kai, all the other victors have made an appearance. This part isn’t a surprise to Annie. Finnick had made sure to get her approval on the guest list before setting the party up.

They take the boat out far enough to go swimming, dropping the anchor and just floating on the vast expanse of sea. It’s Annie’s favorite time of day, just before sunset. Everything is awash in golden light, and Finnick’s hair looks like it’s woven with strands of gold.

Her own hair is loose and flowing, and thankfully today isn’t as hot as last week. Her dress is light blue and made of breathable linen, swirling around at her knees.

“Happy birthday, Annie,” says Dylan, a fellow victor. He’s holding a glass of champagne and looks more relaxed than she’s ever seen him.

“Thank you,” she says, grinning. A glass of champagne is pushed into her hand, sparkling under the sun. It tingles down her throat and she laughs.

The party feels eternal, like she’s taken time and stretched it out like taffy. It’s a wonderful feeling to see the evening lying out before her, full of laughter and music and swimming. She dances with Coral and chats with Nerissa and swims with Callie and it’s all going wonderfully. She could be a normal twenty-year-old girl.

Until she’s not.

The most frustrating part of all is that Annie’s not sure why it happened. She didn’t see anything triggering. Nobody said anything wrong. But one moment she’s dancing with Finnick, and the next, she’s slipping away to the bathroom with an indescribable weight on her chest.

Annie is familiar with panic attacks. Believe it or not, she even got them occasionally before the arena, although they increased exponentially after the Games. The party is still flourishing outside, but all she can do is slump to the floor, pull her knees to her chest, and try to draw deep breaths.

Minutes or hours later, a gentle knock sounds at the door. “Annie?”

She grimaces. It’s Finnick. After all the work he went through putting this together, the last thing she wants to do is ruin it. “I’m fine.”

A pause. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

The door creaks open, and Finnick’s face is perfectly sympathetic without being pitying. Usually Annie appreciates how considerate he is, but today isn’t a usual day. “I’m so sick of this,” she says scathingly.

“I know,” he replies. “But you’ve got to give yourself grace with these things.”

“I don’t need a therapy session right now,” Annie bites back, and he doesn’t even flinch. She realizes with a jolt what she’s feeling. Anger. But for once, she’s not angry at herself for taking a nice occasion and ruining it with her inability to cope. “I was feeling fine. I was feeling good for the first time in forever and I just wanted to have a good night. I can’t even celebrate my own fucking birthday!”

Her chest is heaving, but it’s not from panic. Her entire body flushes with fury.

“Fuck,” Annie says when she realizes that everyone is watching her. Seven pairs of eyes are waiting to see what she’ll do. “They really just take everything and ruin it!”

At first she thinks her outburst is a total buzzkill, but then Calder shouts, “Fuck them!”

Then it’s like an explosion. Everybody’s shouting, screaming into the abyss. It’s so easy to not care when they’re so far away. Annie doesn’t see who, but somebody’s started to smash the fancy Capitol plates that nobody ever uses. She joins in until her throat is raw and her body doesn’t feel like a live wire anymore.

The sound of the victors screaming in unison is impossible to describe, but Annie won’t ever forget it.

At the end of the night, the victors depart the boat like nothing ever happened, happily wishing Annie a happy birthday as they go.

When it’s just her and Finnick, she says, “I really didn’t think they’d be so happy about that.”

“Well, they’re not happy that you’re struggling,” Finnick clarifies. “But you, like, leveled up tonight.”

“What?”

“You took the blame off yourself and put it on the people who deserve it,” he explains. “That’s a big step, and it’s not easy to do. They’re proud of you. And I think we all needed to release some anger.”

Annie laughs softly. “What about you? When did you level up?”

Finnick’s eyes flicker to the ground, though his smile doesn’t drop. “I’ll let you know when it happens.”

The sky is completely dark now, save for the sparkling stars. Annie doesn’t have it in her to offer any advice, and it’s clear that Finnick doesn’t want it right now. “Goodnight,” she says instead. “And thank you.”

He smiles softly. “Any time."

#i really hope yall like this one #annie cresta week 2024 #annie cresta week #annie cresta #finnick odair #odesta #thg #the hunger games

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haru-natsuka · 2 years ago

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Eccentric Party Night (Rei Sakuma x Reader)

I know most of the stories I post are about Twisted Wonderland but in truth I used to love Ensemble Star a lot and even watched their anime and searched about their story further as it is actually based on a game. I have always been in denial that Ensemble Star will post a MV for Eccentric Five as the unit just produces a song and their unit is actually no longer around after the bad things Eichi had done to them. But, guess what guyssss! Ensemble Star recently did post the Eccentric Five MV and I cried in happiness. Now, their happy faces are even stuck in my head and the only remedy for this is for me to write a story about them. As my all time favourite is Rei so I would write a story specific for him.

It was not a shock anymore how talented Yumenosaki students actually were. Their talent was beyond reach as every student held a unique skill that only they could master. You would never stop to be amazed every time you see them perform since the first time Rei showed you their live concerts. It was truly remarkable to watch and at that time you felt the urge to fly back to Japan and witness all of it with your own pair of eyes instead of watching them just on a flat screen.

'Rei, please bring me there when we go back to Japan. You better promise me'

'This beautiful lady seems excited hmm?'

As some misfortunes happened, Rei needed to go back to Japan first and left you here abroad so you can continue to help with Rei's task in resolving conflicts in Yumenosaki's sister schools. After one year of having a long distance relationship, you managed to return back to Japan and met with Rei again. However, Rei was not the same as the last time you saw him. You actually did notice the change in his demeanour when both of you were talking and texting but you never raised the question to him. You assumed he was being fine as this was Rei we were talking about. The very person everyone is seeking help from because of his skills in solving every problem. You never knew the damage Eichi had caused on him, how Keito used him did truly change your man.

You felt guilty to not really help him during his low so when you enrolled as one of the producers in Yumenosaki Academy, you did all your best to support him and all of the ex-members of Eccentric Five which your boyfriend treasured so much although it no longer exists. You knew the reason behind one of the top units suddenly disbanding as Rei did tell you what happened.

You did not know how but after today you did believe in a miracle. The Eccentric Five showed back on the stage performing their one and only song Eccentric Part Night. Their members shone as what they used to be. No it was brighter today as you could see everyone jumping around and actually giving their best on the stage. Even your old man who used to not really do his best to move around a stage was jumping with Shu. You could see the happiness radiating from their faces. The true brotherhood they held on after all of these years.

All the hardships they went through had flashed in your mind which felt more like a nightmare than reality. The corner of your lips quivered as you tried to control yourself from sobbing while everyone was enjoying the show excitedly. Everyone was ecstatic with their performance but here you were rubbing all the tears that kept on pouring out of your eyes with the back of your hands. The make up you applied for this special occasion must be ruined already. It wan not like you cry out of grieve but more actually on the contempt feeling spread in your heart. As one of the audience who sitted on the front line, Rei did notice your state but before he could miscalculated your emotion, you mouth at him,

I'm so happy for you

Immediately, when the performance came to an end you want to meet with Rei in the backstage who were laughing with the other Eccentric Five members. Everyone congratulated one another with their achievement tonight and even Shu acknowledged the perfection for the performance. You wanted Rei to be around his friends and let him enjoy his time with them more so you tried to be as unnoticeable as you can in the corner of the place. As you were just about to have a seat on the ground, a pair of shoes stopped in front of you and when you raised your face, Rei's smile greeted you. He crouched down to maintain the same eye level with yours before his thumbs caressed your leftover tears on your face.

"How did I do, my lovely Y/N. Is it that bad until you cried?"

"This is the best I had ever seen, Rei. It feels so right to watch the five of you on stage again"

"It's thanks for your hard work Y/N. You make this possible. Thanks for always supporting me" He placed his forehead on yours and stared straight into your eyes lovingly. He slowly cupped both of your cheeks in his hand as he brought his lips closer into yours and shared a gentle kiss with you. In the background, you could hear some disgusted comments from the boys and Hibiki loudly shouted amazing as he usually would.

#ensemble stars #ensemble stars x reader #rei sakuma #sakuma rei #rei sakuma x reader #rei x reader #eccentric party night #ensemble stars x you #ensemble stars x y/n

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emeraldspiral · 1 year ago

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Been thinking about how they could adapt the Zimvoid arc into a film, because I think it works really well as a finale. I think Zib is a perfect villain to make Zim and Dib realize ugly truths about themselves and challenge them to be better. But there's no way they'd just do a straightforward adaptation. They'd have to make major changes to the story so it'd be something new and exciting and not spoiled right from the start, just like how they started ETF as an adaptation of the first comic and then veered off into something totally original.

I like the idea of playing it like the comic story is canon and the movie is actually a stealth sequel. Like, Zib used time travel to go back and do everything over and he remembers how everything went the first time and is making changes throughout the story to take it off the rails toward a different end goal. Maybe he was even the one who made Zim forget "Phase 2" and caused the events of ETF to happen.

I'd really like to see Zib introduced a lot earlier or at least for the story after the twist reveal to go on for a lot longer because I feel like in the comic everything happened pretty quickly and there was so much more that could've been done with Zib. Like, he doesn't really do much outside of exposition. Even at the end, all he does is sit on his throne holding Dib captive while the Zims battle his giant robot for like 2 pages before main Zim merges them all and Zib's plan falls apart. I'd really like to see a big horror movie chase sequence with Zib as the monster, relentlessly stalking Zim and Dib through multiple realities and tearing through every obstacle like cardboard, like Wanda in Multiverse of Madness. Would also really love to see Zim and Dib tag-team against Zib since the climax of the original comic has Dib doing nothing while everything Zim does to achieve victory happens off-screen and it feels like kind of a missed opportunity to not have them work as a team against a being that is a combination of the two of them.

There's also a lot of sequences in the comic that are just kinda skipped over that I'd really like to see in some capacity. Like, we don't see much of Zim's battles in the arena so we don't know how he managed to beat 166 opponents in a day while supposedly being the worst Zim. We also don't see the rebel Zims battle against the top 99 elite Zims or #2 fighting his way through the Massive to get an audience with the Tallest, so I feel like we missed out on some potential for really funny and exciting action sequences.

I like that Zim and Dib had parallel arcs of being confronted with the idea that there are better versions of themselves out there and maybe they're actually the worst, before ultimately coming out on top to prove they're actually the best, at least by the logic of "I'm only failing because I've had it harder than anyone else". So I'd like to take the natural next step and have them become self-aware about how much they validate each other.

Like, in the comic the alternate Zims openly admit that they're happy to see a Dib and express admiration for their own Dibs, which makes sense because they've had time apart to realize their true feelings. But we never see if this gives Dib pause and causes him to reflect on how his Zim might feel about him, so that's something that could be added onto the original arc. I also really like the idea that while main Zim was imprisoned with the other Zims they were talking the same way about their Dibs in front of him, and because he hasn't had that time apart to reflect and come to terms with his feelings he's uncomfortable with the thought that he might actually like Dib. Plus, I think adding a scene like that would give extra context to why Zim refuses to work with Dib when he breaks them all out. I also like the idea that in general, because they've had no one but themselves to talk to in the void, the alternate Zims have been able to work through stuff that main Zim hasn't. Like, they all know that their mission was fake, the Tallest never respected them, and they're a joke to pretty much everyone but Dib, but main Zim's still in denial about all of it.

Meanwhile, Dib wouldn't just take Zib's explanation for what he did at face value. He's convinced no Dib would be stupid enough to attach Zim's PAK to themselves and not expect to be corrupted, and he can't bring himself to believe it was just the lack of recognition that drove him to it. He'd demand to know the real reason so he can avoid making the same mistakes and eventually Zib would admit he did it because he missed his Zim.

"You never really know what someone means to you until they're gone. Until you destroy the only person who ever respected you, who understood you, for a world that doesn't even appreciate the sacrifice."

Zib attached Zim's PAK to himself because he wanted his Zim back, but the PAK had been damaged and all that was left of his personality were his final thoughts and feelings. Fear, anger, regret, sadness, resentment, and shame. The Zim part of Zib's mind is just a malevolent ghost in the back of his head, and the Zimvoid is nothing more than a hell of his own creation. The Zim part drives Dib to commit atrocities to get back at him for killing him and the Dib part torments the alternate Zims and plots to destroy all the Irkens to get back at the Zim part. Both sides want to punish each other and both sides allow it because they feel like they deserve it for being failures.

Learning all this is hard for Dib to swallow because it means there's seemingly no good outcome for earth no matter what he does. Either Zim wins and earth is destroyed or he wins and destroys earth himself because his life is empty without Zim.

What makes all the difference to the story's outcome though is that because ETF happened Zim and Dib are in different headspaces than in the original story. Dib has already realized that proving Zim is an alien was just a means to an end to get what he really wanted, which it turned out he already had, and now that he knows it he can see that it's exactly the same for Zim with his mission. Meanwhile, Zim's walls of self-deception have already started crumbling since he realized he "lost" the Tallests' respect, which makes him desperate to reinforce them even as they grow more fragile.

So maybe instead of trying to get rid of all the other Zims to prove he's the greatest of them all, he'd try to hijack Zib's plan and turn it into a plot to conquer all earths in every reality to really show the Tallest he isn't a joke. But Dib would realize that there's an alternative to the no-win scenario he thought they were in; making peace. And he does it by echoing his father's words to Zim, "You're always trying to prove to your leaders that you're amazing. But you never needed to prove that to me, Zim. I've always thought you were amazing."

And Zim realizes that as often as he's said it himself, no one's ever called him "amazing" before, and Dib shows Zim how much he matters to him by risking it all just to save him from his own reckless stupidity.

And then I like the idea that it's kinda like a Sylki situation where even with all the universe's infinite possibilities they're still supposed to be enemies in every reality so them becoming friends kinda breaks reality and gives them the power to resolve everything and get back to their home universe when it seemed like they were trapped with no hope of escape.

And then that would be like the ultimate perfect ending for the series. Zim gives up his mission and Dib gives up trying to expose him because they both realize they don't care about winning anybody else over as long as they have each other.

#invader zim #zadr #zadf #zib #dib #dib membrane #zimvoid #iz

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sorcerous-caress · 1 year ago

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I was going through your tags and I’d love to hear more about cucking Nere with Minthara 👀👀👀

That idea lives in my brain in a fully furnished apartment.

Because can you manage being a male drow and finally breaking out of drow society to join a new one that promotes equality between everyone? Not only that but your boss is a guy too, the highest form of authority in the absolute army is a male and that makes you feel so seen.

No wonder Nere hates Minthara, she is like a constant thorn at his side that reminds him of a darker past. Both of them knows very well if this was the underdark, she'd have absolute authority over him, but now they're coworkers.

He has such an inferiority complex, he is acting like a Caricature of what a powerful drow women would be like. He is desperate for any form of power and reverence.

Which is why he clings to the mention of Ketheric Thorm so much.

Minthara's existence breaks his illusions, even while on equal grounds, she still proves herself to be a much more capable leader than he ever could be.

She doesn't even see him as a real threat, more like a snivelling brat who is always waiting for rescue. If you leave act 1 without being involved with the grove then Minthara would've still found it without your help and achieved her goal. But Nere would've died without your help because even his own people don't respect him enough while all the goblins adored Minthara.

So imagine Nere attempting to get you in his bed, maybe you're a cute new true soul that he can't help but lust over. He is completely not self-aware of how obnoxious or rude he is when he makes moves on you, coercing you into letting him show you how a real man can fuck you so well.

Imagine letting him hit it out of pity.

Afterwards, when you meet Minthara and she actually dominates your world during sex, making you beg for her touch and lips. You off handedly mention your fling with Nere before. How it couldn't compare to her.

Imagine going to Nere the next day with the sweetest smile on your lips, suggesting a threesome to him. He immediately agrees and barely asks about who the third person is.

The way it would go, with Minthara bending you over with your fucked out expression on full display. Showing Nere what you actually look like mid-orgasm. Something he probably failed to give you. Making him seeth with hatred as he gets turned on by how slutty and needy you look, your obscene moans and constant begging for more.

Minthara not allowing him to touch or even kiss you, he could only sit there. Maybe if he apologises to you loudly enough about how sorry he is for not satisfacting you with his dick, how much of a failure he is as a man, then she'd let him pump his cock to the sight of you cum drenched body.

#♡Nere #♡Minthara #♡cucking kink #♡smut

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starkstruck27 · 2 years ago

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I graduated tonight, so here's a tidbit for you in celebration!! 🎓💚

It's Billy's graduation day, and he can feel daggers being stared into him from all sides. He was named Valedictorian (he has no clue how he achieved that), so Nancy Wheeler is glaring from across the stage in the chair reserved for the Saluditorian. His dad was off somewhere in the stands glaring at him, and he was actually surprised he came to see him walk the stage at all. All the kids he beat up or messed with, even if he apologized, were glaring, pissed off that they had to follow his every move to know when to stand and sit on his command. All in all, it seemed like everyone there hated him.

But there was two people that were there rooting for him, even if no one else was. He could still see them, smiling and shouting his name and waving around these embarrassing homemade signs they made to make sure he'd see them. Max was wearing a homemade shirt with a picture of his face printed on it, and it was the least flattering picture ever, from his freshman year where he was mid-sneeze when the flash went off, but he couldn't help but smile when he saw it. Steve was standing next to her and screaming loudly, unashamed of anyone watching him. He had a shirt that said "I ❤ BH", like those stupid tourist t-shirts from New York, only with his initials instead. He was waving around a giant shark plushie that had a little graduation cap sewn on it, the stitching job no doubt having been done by either Joyce Byers or Claudia Henderson.

He didn't know it yet, but both ladies were also in the audience, along with Will, El, Hopper, Dustin, and Lucas, all there to cheer on Billy and Jonathan as they both walked the stage. Mike was sitting somewhere else with his parents and little sister to cheer on Nancy, but his mother eventually let him go off with his friends once Nancy finished giving her speech.

She was the first one to do it, getting the honor of speaking first, followed by the class president and the class historian. Billy was the last one to give his speech, and as the historian sat down, his heart began to race a little as he walked up to the podium. He had his speech written on a few note cards, but he'd been sleep deprived from finals and entirely too nervous when he wrote them, so they were near incomprehensible. So he didn't even bother to get them out, deciding instead to just wing it. He'd bullshitted his way through it anyway. And nothing could be worse than the class president's speech, which the poor kid had stuttered through and barely spoke into the mic at all, so he was impossible to hear. At least Billy would be able to be heard if his speech was awful.

"Friends, family, teachers, staff and guests," he started, trying to keep his tassel out of his face, "You're probably all thinking that I'm feeling so honored to be standing here as the vedictorian of the class of 1986. I know that you probably think that this is the highlight of my high school career. Hell, our saluditorian would probably kill to be standing where I am right now."

At this, a little laughter bubbled up from the crowd, and Billy allowed himself a second to enjoy the way Nancy's face went bright red before he continued.

"But you'd all be wrong. True, I did get here halfway through my junior year and still managed to build myself up to this point with little to no support, but that’s precisely the reason I don't feel honored to be making this speech right now. It's not that I think I don't deserve it, because I do. I've worked myself half to death to get here right now, to prove to myself that I was not a complete failure and that I was good for something. So I took the hard classes, I turned in all the work, and I did the best I could to put myself where I'm standing right now. But I'm still not honored to be here, because I didn't do it for recognition. I didn't do it for praise or to prove that I'm the best or anything shallow like that. I also didn't do it out of love for school or my classes. I did it out of survival. I did it because if I didn't, I might not be accepting a diploma at all today. I did it because I had no other choice."

As Billy continued speaking, a confused murmur went through the crowd. The audience was wondering where he was going with all this, and the rest of his classmates and the staff were all wondering what happened to the other speech they'd had to listen to him reciting for the past two days at practice. All in all, everyone seemed lost, but Billy didn't care. He took a second as they recollected themselves to look up and see if his dad was still in his spot on the stands. He wasn't, so Billy kept going.

"Most of you here know that I'm not a perfect person. I'm a dick, really. If someone gets in my way, I have no qualms about punching them in the nose or making them cry as they run home to their mommies to have them make the boo-boos feel better. I'm not proud of this. It's just a part of who I am and I'm trying to work on changing it. As I'm getting older and getting closer and closer to leaving this town, it's getting easier to do that. But so far it's been a slow process, because I didn't have any reason to change. That's another reason I never quit and threw myself into my studies, because as I get closer to getting out of here, I'm finding more and more reasons to change. For one, my little sister Maxine deserves a brother that she can be proud of, not one that she dreads admitting relation to. For another, as soon as I get my diploma and decide where I'm going to college, I'm gone. Out of this town, out of this state, and especially out of my father's house. Believe it or not, there are actually people worse to others than me, and if you want an example, well, my father is the best one you'd ever find. As soon as I get my diploma, I get to be rid of him forever if I want to be, and that's exactly what I want. And finally, I met somebody. None of you probably want or need to hear about my love life, and I'll spare you the dirty details, but just know that this person is my reason for everything. For living, for working so hard, and for wanting to change. It's for these reasons, and there are probably more if I put my mind to it, I want to change out of the jerk I was and into a person that would be honored to be the best student in their class. It's for these reasons that I'm even here in the first place, why I pushed so hard to make myself survive and earn it. I'm not the best Valedictorian that this school will ever have, I'm far from it. But hopefully, now that you understand why I'm here, you won't think I'm the worst one, either. You'll understand why I'm here, what I had to do to make it happen, and why, even though I'm not feeling honored by being here, I'm more proud of myself than I ever have been in my life."

Billy had been nervous about giving a speech he didn't practice, but so far he seemed to be fine. He could see Steve on the verge of tears off to the side of him, and it made him remember that even if he was a total flop and didn't make any sense, at least a few people would be proud of him. So he decided to finish strong.

"And to my classmates, the graduating seniors of 1986, I want to say this: I didn't get here on my own. I had help, from a lot of you. I'd like to address some people who really helped on my journey here at Hawkins High, short as it may have been, and helped either directly or indirectly in my success. Heather Holloway, you've taught me to be confident and given me your friendship, which is an invaluable gift that I truly treasure every day. I love you, forever and always you'll be my best friend. Robin Buckley, you've shown me that it doesn't matter who I am or what I'm like, that there will always be people like me in the world and that if I find those people, I don't have to be afraid of what they'll bring out in me. Eddie Munson, you've taught me to be confident in all things, that it doesn't matter if the world is watching, as long as I believe in what I'm saying and doing that someday, I'll make it through and make it out, even if it takes a few tries. Chrissy Cunningham, you taught me to be sweet and kind. Jonathan Byers, you taught me that sometimes I need to see life through the lens of someone else's camera. Nancy Wheeler, you've taught me that you don't have to like a person to be proud of their accomplishments. And finally, Steve Harrington, even though you're already graduated, you know why I'm thanking you, and you know what you taught me. As we move forward throughout our lives, myself and the rest of the class of '86, I implore all of you to take these lessons with you and actually practice them. You'll be successful in whatever you choose to do with your time if you do so. Learn from these people, you don't have to like them, but learn from them. And if you do, I promise you, you'll beat the odds that are seemingly stacked against you."

After Billy finished his speech, he went back to his seat and sat down, waiting for whoever was speaking next to say whatever they needed to. He wasn't paying attention, rather looking over to Steve and Max again, who were both crying and clapping for him.

When the principal finally stood up and read out the names of all the seniors and handed them their diplomas, Billy stood up to receive his first. A shy smile on his face as he listened.

"William Felix Hargrove, class of 1986 Valedictorian," the principal read out like a robot, already tired of having to read out the names of the 236 graduating seniors after the first one. Billy stood and walked over to him, taking his diploma and shaking the man's hand as he smiled for a picture. He was sure he'd have to fake smile when he was told ther would be a photographer there, but because of the screams and shrieks he could hear coming from Steve and Max's direction, he found he didn't have to fake it. As he turned to walk back to his seat he saw them still crying and cheering, making such a scene that Billy was almost afraid the audience wouldn't hear it when Nancy's name was called, but then they quieted down.

They stayed quiet through the rest of the ceremony, except when they needed to make noise, and as soon as Billy was allowed to go and find them, they were on the field with him, both wrapping him in the tightest hugs they could manage. Max was practically squeezing the air out of him, sobbing into his graduation gown that she was already proud of him and she always would be, drawing a few tears from his eyes in the process as he muttered a "thanks, shitbird" into her hair. Steve had let them have their moment, having gone off to talk to Robin and to give her her present and a hug, but now he was walking back over, holding out the shark plushie and smiling from ear to ear.

"I got you this," he said as Billy took the animal, his own grin creeping onto his face. "I figured flowers would just die and you could eat chocolates. I wanted to get you something that would last."

"Thanks, pretty boy. I love her." He said, his face heating up as Max went to talk to her friends and Steve began to back them up until they were hidden from sight behind the bleachers.

"I'm really fucking proud of you, you know that?" He asked as they walked, keeping an eye out to make sure no one was looking as they slipped away. "And I was so surprised when you mentioned me in your speech. You didn't plan that thing at all, did you?"

"Was it that obvious?" Billy asked, but he laughed.

"No, but I just know you. You only get that look on your face when you're determined to do something completely on the fly. It was still fantastic though." Steve replied, finally finding them a quiet, dim little nook to hide away in.

"Thank you. For everything, and I really mean that, Stevie. I wouldn't have made it without you. You're everything to me, you're the main reason I did all that stuff like I said in the speech." Billy said, his voice weighed down with emotion. Steve could hear it, too, and his smile only grew wider as he leaned in real close.

"You saying you love me, Hargrove?" He asked, and the question honestly surprised Billy. Neither of them had ever said it before, even if they had felt it, so it just seemed too casual. But Billy had meant the things he'd said in his speech, about confidence and being himself and all that, and he wasn't giving up on those lessons now. He lunged forward and kissed Steve with all his might, wanting to tell him not only with words, but actions too.

"Yeah, I am. I love you, Steve." He said as they parted, his heart racing as he went in for another searing kiss. He really did mean it when he said it, too. He loved Steve, and he always would.

When this kiss was broken, it was like everything and nothing had changed. Billy was still afraid to hold Steve's hand once they left the cover of the bleachers, but until they stepped back out into the setting sun, he did it. He let Steve adjust his cap and gown before they went out to take pictures, and he let him insist on as many as he wanted to commemorate the occasion. They still couldn't do much in terms of physical contact, but every brush of fingers or press of a side that managed to take place as they snapped picture after picture was like a tiny little press of sunshine to their skin. It was different, but that was okay by them.

"Oh, and by the way," Steve asked as Joyce geared up to snap the next shot, "Since when is your middle name Felix?" And when the flash went off, all you could see what Steve looking puzzled as Billy cracked up laughing.

#billys middle name is felix and i wil not be told otherwise #billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #stranger things #billy hargrove x steve harrington #ficlet #graduation #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #eddie munson #heather holloway #chrissy cunningham #jonathan byers

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