#but i know that we can be annoying at types lol
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A Weekend to Remember 💕
Summary: Terry wants to give his girlfriend Siya (Sigh-ya) a peaceful weekend away at his place to help her loosen up after a rough week. 🩵
Warnings: Some smut 💋 and 420 friendly 🍃
This is my first fanfic y’all so take it easy on your girl. It’s been a while! lol. Enjoy!!!
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Terry POV
Friday Night 🌙
My girl Siya, who I’ve been seeing for about five months now, has been expressing her frustration with work all week. I’m not quite sure what her exact job title is but I know she works with badass kids and intense parents everyday in the school system. I’ve always admired her patience with people on a daily. I told her I do labor and engineering work for a reason cause I’d catch a case. Nonetheless, I know she needs an outlet and frankly, just a good time so she can let her hair down a bit. I can admit I’ve been slightly negligent to my lady’s feelings recently due to my own work being a shit storm with high volumes of orders and requests needing to be completed. A couple nights in a row I’ve been falling asleep on her mid conversation from pure exhaustion. I know that stings her a bit because we don’t live together and she really treasures our nightly FaceTime calls. She lives about 35 mins away from me on the other side of the county so anytime I get to see her face I try to make it last. I know she knows I still love her and I’m here for her like always but I’m the type of man to show it. Especially when I know I’ve been slacking a bit.
On the way home from work today, on a high from finally making it to Friday, I text Siya to let her know my plans.
T: Hey babe, hope your work day ended on a high note today. I want you to pack a bag to stay over my place for the weekend. I wanna show you how much I’ve missed you all week.. I’ll be there to get you around 6. I love you ❤️
S: Oooo you got plans plans huh? 😏 lol ok baby, I’ll be ready when you get here. Just let me know when you’re on the way 😘
I smile down at my phone at her response. She always finds a way to make me laugh. That’s why this weekend I want her to feel like she’s fully taken care of. My girl is the kind of woman who loves detail but loves simplicity even more. She loves good vibes and ambience.. she loves to be able to take in all the small joys around her and revel in them while spreading that same feeling to the people around her. It made me think about what I wanted to plan for us this weekend. I want to take Siya’s mind off of all her stress and worries and I have to be quick because I only have about 2 hours until I pick Siya up…
Siya POV
That text from Terry made my day. I haven’t stopped smiling since I got it just as I was about to sprint to my car after calling it a day at work. Don’t get me wrong, I love aspects of my job but the mental rigor of trying to put out fires everyday is A LOT. I was just starting to get annoyed with Terry actually, he’s been seeming a bit distant and uninterested but those thoughts faded away as soon as I read that text. If there’s one thing I know about my man its that he’s thoughtful when it counts and loves to prove it.
Getting home to my quiet condo, I drop all my stuff in my office room then head straight to my bathroom to shower off all the angst of the day. Blasting some Summer Walker and Kehlani while the hot water slowly soothes my body into relaxation. I make sure to shave and moisturize something serious not yet knowing exactly what Terry has planned. I just have a feeling it’s going to make me fall in love with him even more.
After my shower, I decided to fix something small to eat to hold me over and then pack my bag for a stay at my man’s.
*phone vibrates*
T: I’m heading to you now babygirl 🩵
S: Ok be safe ❤️ see you soon daddy 💋
I don’t know what it is but Terry still makes me giddy and nervous. I can’t stop checking my hair and light makeup in the mirror just to make sure nothing is out of place. If he knew I was taking what I looked like so serious, he would reprimand me saying you look beautiful regardless, don’t trip but hey, I’m just a girl with nerves!
Dressed in a causal three piece cozy fit, perfect for this fall weather and brisk evenings, I wait for Tory to arrive while chilling on my living room couch. Just as I start to feel a little antsy my phone vibrates again.
T: Come open your door for me beautiful
Without texting back, I hop out of my seat and speed walk to the door with a smile. I open the door to find my tall, muscular, ocean eyed teddy bear of a boyfriend dressed in a hoodie and joggers to match.
“There she is” he says before softly pulling me into his arms and lifting me into a tight hug. He smells so good..
“Hey baby, I missed you so much” I say before planting a kiss on his soft, plump lips.
“I’ve missed you too baby girl. More than you know. Come on, let me get your bag for you” He says slightly brushing past me into the living room to grab my pink duffle bag. “You ready, mama?”
Terry POV
It feels so good having Siya next to me again. It’s only been about a week and a half since I’ve last seen her in person but right now let me know that’s too long without her. Her soft, luscious, radiant skin. Her fragrance that always smells like something sweet that makes me hungry for her. Head full of curls and that amazing smile that still makes my heart skip a beat. I’m sprung, no doubt. I can’t keep my hands off her as I hit the highway heading back to my place. My free hand found its way in between the heat of her thighs and rested there for comfort as I gripped the steering wheel. Snoh Alegra playing from my truck speakers and our heads bobbing to the smooth tunes. I look over at Siya softly singing the words and I crack a smile involuntarily. Call me corny but I made a playlist just for this ride back so I knew she’d be feeling it.
“You know this is my song” She says with a playful smirk while dancing in her seat.
“Yeah I know love”
Siya went back to her karaoke as i focused on not missing a turn right up ahead of us. As soon as I made the turn off our usual route, Siya stops her concert and looks at me with curious eyes.
“Where we going?” She asks
“Just a little detour babe, don’t worry” I reassure her grabbing onto her hand to hold.
I could tell my words put her at ease. I watch her lean back in her seat to take in the beautiful sunset outside our car windows. The sky barely lit but just above the horizon it’s painted a firey bright orange with clouds leaving small traces of purple and blue. Approaching our destination, I see Siya sit up, peeking out of the windows to take in the view before us. A walking park adorned with vast land scattered with trees and a beautiful lake front that provided a perfect view to watch the remainder of the sunset. The area is empty and barely any cars drive past at this time of day. Perfect for a chill ass smoke session to get my girl right for this relaxing weekend I got planned for her.
Siya POV
Terry is always up to something I tell ya. I’ve always appreciated the effort and thought he puts into the things he does for me. No matter how little or large. Terry knows I’m a sentimental nostalgic who loves taking in sunsets and sunrises. I mean, I couldn’t even count the amount of moon photos I have in my camera roll too. He also knows I don’t take the time to enjoy these things as much as I’d like to. To just be present.. with a beautiful view.
“Let’s sit at these benches over here” Terry said taking my hand and leading me to our seats near the lake.
“This is beautiful Terry. How do you know about this place?”
“Me and a homeboy of mine use to come here and go fishing sometimes. We even came out here just to chill. Get our minds right” Terry reaches into this hoodie pocket, “So, with my beautiful lady having the hard week she did.. I figured we’d start this weekend with some reallll relaxation” he declares pulling out a thick cigar blunt with a playful, big cheesy smile.
Terry and I have smoked together before but it’s been quite a while. Shortly after we started dating we both decided to take a tolerance break and focus on work and being a bit healthier. Not to say we didn’t break our pact from time to time but it has definitely been a couple months since I faced a fat blunt.
“When did you start smoking again?” I ask genuinely curious.
“Right now. I figured since work has been kicking both of our asses, we deserve this. You deserve this,” He says lighting the blunt and passing it to me. Instantly the thick weed smoke and scent hit my nose and brought back all those fond memories of getting high and letting my worries roll off of me like water.
I take a deep breath and allow the smoke to hit my chest. I hold it for a few seconds before a deep harsh cough escapes my throat.
“Take it easy, babe” Terry said laughing while patting my back.
“Oh whatever! It’s been a while” I snap back at him out of a little embarrassment of my fragile lungs. I take another puff and force myself to keep in the smoke long enough to feel the after effects.
“You good mama?” Terry asks me as I pass him back the blunt.
“Yeah I’m good. This shit is hitting me nice..” I say leaning back into the bench, letting my body and mind unwind. I start to listen to the gentle wind of the night breezing past my ears, the lake in front of me rippling from the wind. It’s so peaceful. I feel Terry’s arm cradle my shoulders from be side, providing extra warm from the cool breeze. We continued to pass back and forth until our blunt became a roach. The lowering sun completely gone but now the fluorescent moonlight took its place. It gave us ample light reflecting from the shimmering lake. I could feel every bit of my body soften and loosen up. My head lay back to rest on Terry’s buff arm still wrapped around me. We were both pretty quiet enjoying our high and the tranquility around us. I look over to Terry to make sure he’s okay only to meet his incredible grey eyes, low and hazy from the marijuana, already locked on me.
“How you feeling?” He asks deep in tone, his gaze still stuck on me.
“Good. I feel great actually”
“Good. I’m glad to hear, babe. Come here…” Terry whispers before grabbing me around my waist and pulling me into his lap. Never taking his eyes off me. I was starting to really get lost in them. All I could picture was the last time we fucked, soaking my satin panties as I clinch my thighs on Terry’s lap. My eyes gaze down to his juicy pink lips that just seem to be calling my name. Without hesitation, i pull Terry in for a passionate kiss. Lips smacking and soft biting making us both groan into each other’s mouths. I could feel Terry’s thick bulge grow stiffer below me as he shifts my booty on his lap to help adjust himself. He let out a soft moan before placing lewd, wet kisses all over my neck.
“Terry you know that makes me weak” I moan out as he hits all my spots causing me to quiver.
Ignoring my plea, gripping onto my thighs, he continues to place warm kisses on my neck and slowly down my chest. Suddenly he stops and looks up at me. The moonlight beaming out of his now dark clouded eyes. He sits up, gently moving me off his lap and back on the bench before standing up and starting to take off his hoodie. I bite my lip watching him undress, revealing a white tee hugging his defined abs and massive arms. I quietly stare up at him from my seat, heat rising within me from anticipation, wondering what’s next to come. Also forgetting that we’re technically in public.
I’m high as shit.
“Lay back on my hoodie babygirl” Terry says softly while stretching his hoodie out on the bench space beside me. I do as he ask and lay my heated back to the wood bench to rest. Terry, now sitting by my feet and smirking down at me, slowly turns to me with his eyes still intensely on me, lifts my legs and places them firmly over his shoulders. Now I get the hint..
“Take these off” he whispers before licking his lips and pulling at my pants with authority.
I lift my lower body to assist him in slipping my pants and panties off in one quick swipe. The cool air hit my bare legs and made me clinch my legs shut.
“Open up for me, babe” Terry commands sliding his large body back on the bench and lowering his head right above my wet, aching pussy. “I got the munchies.. but all I wanna snack on is you”
With a sloppy, wet kiss to my throbbing clit, Terry began to devour my pussy like his last meal. I couldn’t help but to moan loudly as he slurps and licks me with purpose. One thick swipe of his tongue after another. As he playful darts his tongue in and out of my pussy and tenderly rubs my pulsing clit, I stare up at the stars above. Thanking God and the universe that I’ve found this man.
“Ahhhh Terry.. this feels so fucking good babyyy” I cry out reaching for the bench arm rest behind my head for leverage.
“Mmm.. you taste so damn good mama.. I could eat you all night..” he spoke with all his concentration still on my leaking pussy. Suddenly feeling two thick fingers slowly sliding into me, I arch my back out of pure ecstasy.
“Fuuuuck” I cry out letting Terry quicken his pace. Beginning to feel an amazing but unfamiliar pressure build within me.
“Pussy clenching up baby, you about to cum?”
“Oh my god… Terry!” I shout unable to explain what I was feeling. Silence falls as nothing but the sound of Terry’s fingers slipping in and out of me and his slurping and smacking fill the air. My eyes close shut and I swear even with them closed, I can still see stars. Suddenly, a loud gush erupts from my slippery center.
“God damn..” Terry groans staring at my pussy forming a puddle below him with a look of pride and accomplishment.
“Did you just make me squirt?!” I asks out of pure shock. Did I really just squirt on my boyfriend on a public bench?
“Hell yeah I did. You got me and my hoodie soaked baby girl” he says with a chuckle and a menacing smirk.
“Oh my god” I say laughing to myself, covering my face as Terry lifts me up to hold me in his arms, face to face.
“Aww none of that now. Shit, that was fucking amazing. I didn’t know you could squirt like that, mama. I find it sexy.. lets me know I’m doing all the right things.. maybe I should get you high and eat you out more often” he suggest with that enticing smile of his.
“Yeah maybe” I respond with a smile and gaining a little sense of confidence back. The sound of loud car exhaust approaching made us both grab for our clothes and get dressed. Terry wasn’t lying when he said I soaked his hoodie. Even with it being black I could tell I left the majority of it damp and knew he’d be cold in this frigid wind as we walk back to his truck.
“I’m sorry again about that Babe” I say with my arms crossed in front of me to shield my exposed skin from the breeze.
“You don’t hear me complaining do you? Stop worrying, love. So what I’m drenched? I love that shit. All that matters to me right now is that you feel good.. you gushing all on me like that just shows me you was feeling more than good though.. right baby?” He asks slowly stepping closer to me, forcing my back against the truck door, invading my space in a way that makes my knees almost buckle. Him and these goddamn eyes!!
“Oh I’m more than good..” I almost whisper looking deep into his glistening orbs, feeling like I’m under a trance.
“That’s what I like to hear. Gimme kiss..” Terry says before pulling me into him by the waist and giving me two sweet, wet kisses, “come on, beautiful. Let’s get back on the road. We still got the night ahead of us.”
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK and sorry for any typos 🙈🩷 Depending on feedback I’ll write the rest of the weekend with Tory and Siya 🥰 I have a feeling this is gonna get cute and nasty lmao appreciate y’all! -Kye ✌🏽
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Can’t even lie man I’ve been offline all day and i immediately went to your blog to read your takes on the session and Pearl n gem n co. after watching some wild life. Thanks for having the best takes lol
genuinely, it’s an honour. crazy to me that anyone would come to this blog for good takes, they never make any sense and i’m always suspiciously resentful towards c!scott. i’ll take this opportunity to lay out my gempearl thoughts as well
first of all, it drives me insane the way pearl usually goes along with whatever scott and cleo says, but the only thing she consistently, and has repeatedly, contradicted them on is that she’s been antagonising gem. in fact at the start of the session scott poked her about it again and she laid out a short monologue to assert that his claims were invalid. funnily enough she goes back on this a few seconds later saying that “i’ll make her have a reason to hold that grudge” which honestly is not helping her case. however if gem can make vague threats about impulse i don’t see why pearl can’t do the same. women’s wrongs and all that.
and then after that scott tells impulse and pearl to apologise to gem and joel. again, it’s a bit odd to me how they keep harping on this bit, but every time they do, all they do is scold impulse for rightfully constantly accusing gem over the cows, and then impulse apologises, yet pearl is still implicated (for NOTHING). pearl did protest this point earlier that she was “just existing”, scott counters that “i don’t know what you’ve done but you’ve annoyed her”, so “keep your distance”.
and to think that the argument only happened because scott made a throwaway comment about a “request” he had for pearl if she wanted a life from him. i feel like he meant it as a funny aside and expected pearl to just shut up and take it, but pearl never shuts up and takes it so that’s the problem there.
also, on secret life: pearl argues that she was right to ally with scar, which like, okay, fair enough, but scott says that “it takes time” and that “look we’re together” i’m not sure why he’s under the perception that GGG is in anyway functional or healthy considering he himself is trashtalking impulse and pearl with gem geminitay (ok sorry i’m just salty over him being buddy buddy with gem). at one point cleo goes “we have to be enablers” (lowkey incorrect because pearl hasn’t done anything, you can’t enable someone to just do nothing, but i appreciate the sentiment) and pearl just starts. throwing eggs at the ground. really funny out of context.
now for the actual gempearl interaction (we get like one and a half per episode i’m actually starving). they’re so obsessed with each other. trust me i said so. pearl beelining to gem to say “hi gem! :D” and gem beelining to pearl to punch her and say “go home pearl” oh they make me ill i feel like they’re just constantly on each other’s minds. the problem is that we haven’t gotten a good gempearl interaction because when they’re near each other their allies are also hanging around, so it always ends up with gem getting glazed by scott or pearl getting distracted by bigb or something like that. it’s such a pity because gem specifically went to find the 4Gs’ base but she went to the old one instead of the new one where pearl was hanging around so we could have potentially gotten a 1 on 1 shiny duo interaction this session (i’m not sure about the timeline there) but we DIDN’T because gem’s not talked to the 4Gs enough to know that they moved bases. grrr.
and then gem drops the anger for a bit to encourage pearl to kill grian. i have NO idea what that’s about, i feel like she’s just into bloodthirst in general but what it does remind me of is her trying to convince pearl to kill the ender dragon in SL, coincidentally, when pearl was impulse’s butler. and now she’s encouraging pearl to carry out what impulse wants. i don’t know. maybe her type is murderers and she’s trying to give pearl a chance. or something
anyway as for the other half an interaction where gem finds etho pearl and cleo at her base, gem reverts back to loudly disparaging pearl within earshot. i feel like she’s nailed “ex who really wants you to know that you’re exes”, and pearl getting so indignant about it she can’t even form a sentence for a few seconds is great actually. might be a reach but whether on hermitcraft or life series, pearl tends to stumble over her words a lot when directly challenged by gem, which is probably just because she’s thinking hard on what to say and is sleep deprived half the time. but i find it pretty telling that pearl doesn’t say anything back to gem and just. leaves. it’s very obvious she’s still down bad for gem in a way but gem is intentionally making it very hard for pearl to remain so.
last paragraph. when joel visits pearl at their new base, joel is happy that pearl called his build a car and said she liked it (pearl likes cars fork found in kitchen). so joel and pearl are on good terms, which i expect would lead to interesting dynamics but at the same time joel would definitely follow gem’s lead over maintain that friendship but still his perception of pearl now is positive. so that’s intriguing
song of the day is down bad by taylor swift. trust me guys they want each other so bad
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thinking about how living w regulus would affect harry like
he's such a fucking snob about everything. food, decor, fashion, you name it, he's got opinions on it.
he does ballet despite being the least graceful person on the planet. he's somehow pretty good at it, likely out of spite
speaks french
very much a cat person, has a cat named leo who is his baby
like yk how james and sirius are extremely codependent? that's how harry is w leo. both of them can not handle being apart from each other too long
reads a lot of stories
thinks seeker is the best quidditch position
on that note, lots of slytherin house pride. james hates it. harry refuses to put any gryffindor decorations up in his room
harry loves taking pictures just like reg so the house is filled with photographs
and ofc harry is snobby about what types of cameras he uses thanks to reg. james now just lets them deal with the cameras & photography stuff bc he's scared to get the wrong thing lol
harry is taller than reg but bc dysphoria all of reg's old clothes (like quidditch jerseys + hoodies and stuff) are his size so half his wardrobe is from reg's hogwarts days
definitely the type of guy to change his bedding & curtains & everything in his room based on the season. will anybody actually be in there other than him and his parents? not really, but he MUST redecorate
idk what this even means but snobby about candles. this is another thing james is scared to buy him
harry and reg speak french w each other more than english
since james doesn't speak french w harry (i hc he's only comfortable speaking it w reg) harry is used to having a conversation in two different languages so sometimes he'll be speaking french w his friends without noticing
he'll be in the middle of a rant and realize they don't understand a thing he's saying lol
reg and harry control the decorating for every holiday, every birthday, etc.
the one thing harry knows how to do that reg doesn't/reg didn't teach him is cooking. reg never cooked for himself as a child so james was the one who taught him
doesn't look like it most of the time but all of harry's clothes are very expensive... did i mention he's a snob
harry is such a dry texter/writer... he's such a dick about grammar when it comes to writing even tho he can barely string a sentence together when speaking
deeply sarcastic (look! a canon detail! we never thought we'd see that on this account, did we?)
will take his partners on the most expensive dates & whatnot like it's nothing... cedric the farmboy™️ is not prepared
writes sad boy poetry when he gets annoyed w someone... like harry will storm off all pissed and then he comes back 20 mins later with a beautifully written, very angry poem for whoever made him mad
has so many clothes & different curtains and bedding sets for different seasons that he also uses the closet in the guest room (reg takes up 99% of his and james's closet for the same reason)
has an inherent hatred of fake plants
bedroom is simultaneously tidy and so messy a hurricane might as well have come through
leaves a book behind everywhere he goes
secretly the worst sense of humor lmao
he may not have gotten his love of drawing/painting from regulus, but you def see reg in the way he is, you guessed it, a massive snob about art supplies
soooo indecisive. redoes his room at least twice a year
an asshole when he gets less than 10 hours of sleep... he's mildly tolerable after 3 cups of coffee (black, of course) but you might as well just ignore him until he gets a nap in
on that note is very good at making coffee and is, drum roll please, a massive snob about it. who would've guessed (somebody count how many times i've said snob in this post and comment it please and thank you)
if he doesn't like a gift he's horrible at pretending he's happy w it so people usually go through reg whenever they buy him something... this goes both ways too, people go through harry when buying something for reg
is visually james and lily's but in personality is really just reg's (and also lily's... he definitely inherited his spite from her lol)
is a crazy cat lady by age 20
at least 10 pictures of leo in his room... he has whole photoshoots for her and she poses for them
might as well not hang out w harry at his house bc he'll make out with his cat the whole time
loves going to art museums w regulus
he's a, surprise surprise, snob about art. james just doesn't comment on art altogether atp
his vocabulary is a weird mashup of french, english, and hindi that makes it very hard for anybody who doesn't know him well to understand what he's saying lol
looks angry until he smiles (he got this from lily but a life with reg has perfected it)
needs a golden retriever to his black cat in any given relationship (enter cedric and cho) (yes i'm going to push my rarepair on everyone reading this)
tl;dr being raised by/living w regulus has turned harry into a massive snob about literally everything and regulus is proud of it (blink twice if you need help, james)
#hp fandom#harry potter fandom#hp#marauders era#harry potter#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#jegulus raising harry#regulus raising harry really#leo the cat#let's give her her own tag :)#she is immortal btw. leo never dies#anyway
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IxxP types: man i always felt so disconnected from society and that makes me very lonely
IxxP types when they have the opportunity to connect with society: wHY DOES EVERYONE INSISTS ON DOING THIS??? Why can't people think for themselves?? Ew i'm just gonna stay away from everyone it seems like i'm the only person who doesn't do smth just bc everyone does it and thinks what ~~~ I ~~~ want to do
#that's me i'm an ixxp type lol#my father was too he was an istp i was also thinking about him when writing this lol#we were very similar in this point#inferior Je is just like this#ngl i wouldn't like to change tbh i love being a Ji dom#but i know that we can be annoying at types lol#we never listen to other people
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Sometimes I'm just existing and then think about Maxie and Archie
Because you know Pokemon is quite a lot about People And Pokemon And Connection. This coexistence. How People is glad to be with their Pokemon, and Pokemon glad to be with People. How this is base of whole concept. Without this connection we wouldn't have everything we have. That's the base. That's the thing that nobody touches.
And then we have Maxie and Archie. One of them loves pokemon, and doesn't like people. One of them loves people, but don't like pokemon. They're basically go against this Base of Pokemon. (They're stupid ok)
This is something hitting me so much like holy shit like aaughhh so much symbolism and how the true power lays in connection between Pokemon and people and how the best ending for Maxie and Archie is to connect again to try to understand each other and make Connection
#sorry for my bad english#sorry if it something someone told many times lol#pokemon#hardenshipping#It makes me think about au where they would be young trainers who go to their adventure#having this “rivalry” but in truth theyre like. best friends. and everyone know that#and this happens in Hoenn too#and you can see how Hoenn looked in their childhood#or it would be the same hoenn as we have right now fuck May and Brendan i have new heroes lol#and you have all these little stupid features#imagine youre playing as Maxie and you call your best rival friend and youre making small talk about he start talk about#how adorable water type pokemon are#and Maxie pretends to be annoyed but you know he arent#and in the credits you fight for good measure#and afterwards you can have option to walk to archie AND KISS HIM ON HIS FUCKING STUPID LIPS and then credits roll#holy shit guys im so smart take notes while im alive (pleaee dont. im ugly)#god damn it these tags longer than post itself lol#sorry
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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Inspired by this godly post which unlocked a part of my brain I didn't know existed, and solidly gave me complete and utterly brainrot until I wrote something
A thousand thanks to Lily for her wonderful help :))
"Does Kelly not mind you spending all your time with me?" Daniel asks, because she's Daniel and once she's thought something she can't keep her fucking mouth shut, even if she knows it's trouble.
Max looks up, pausing his set of weights, and blinks at her. Daniel feels her cheeks warm. One day, that mouth of yours will run you straight into trouble, young lady, her mum used to tell her, voice firm. Good girls know when to keep quiet. Daniel used to just laugh at the warning. Her laugh is loud and the opposite of quiet, but she used to know that everyone always loved her laugh.
"No," Max says after a beat and then continues lifting. Daniel hates the way her gaze tracks over him, lingering on the movement of his muscles, the ease with which he lifts the weight. Tawny hair brushed out of his eyes, cheeks dusted warm from the exertion. "Of course not."
"Why of course not?" Daniel asks. She wants to sew her mouth shut. This time, Max didn't look over as he answers.
"Kelly's very secure, she's not like other girls. And besides, she knows you."
It's strange. When Daniel was seven and Michelle eleven, they'd gone rock pool fishing. Michelle had been crouched over a shallow pool of water, her finger delicately brushing the tentacles of the anemone. Daniel had been scaling the rocks, wanting steeper, taller, more.
She'd found the shark first, nestled high at between the rocks, and for a beat she hadn't known what she was looking at. Just details, but nothing collective. Rotting smell. Shrivelled holes where eyes should be. Scales of silver lightning. Rubbery fish picked clean. The flash of bone, pearl white.
Then she realised what she was staring at, and screamed. Her father held her while her mother scolded her. I told you not to go climbing! It's too dangerous, Daniel. Why can't you just be good like your sister and stay by the shallow pools?
And then, later, ice cream. Her dad, beside her, explaining the horror away.
It's just nature, Dani. The waves wash them up, and they get stuck there. They can't get back to the sea, and then the sun dries them out.
They drown on air, Michelle helpfully pointed out, her feet kicking happily as she licked her 99. Daniel just just nodded, ice cream untouched. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the sunken holes, the rotting flesh.
She hasn't thought about that moment for years, but suddenly it washes back over her. She feels simultaneously both. The child, staring at the carcass, frozen in shock. The shark, burning up in the sun, chocking on air.
"What does that mean?" She asks, and somehow her voice is normal, is fine. She's fine. She's not a girl or a shark. She's stupid and a fool and a gawky, ugly idiot, but she's fine.
Max manages to shrug, even with the 50kg weights. "You know. Just that Kelly knows you. She knows what you're like. And she knows me too, of course."
Daniel swallows. She nods. She hates everything about herself.
"That's sexist," she forces herself to say lightly because if the silence stretches anymore, Max might notice and set his weights down and look at her, and Daniel can't bear that. She doesn't want his eyes on her, taking in every blemish and imperfection. The boyish, ratty clothes she works out in and her curls gone frizzy with sweat and her inked skin, so different to Max and Kelly's pale, perfect complexions.
"What's sexist?"
"Saying she's not like other girls," Daniel tells him, setting down the weights she been doing. Instead, she goes to grab the skipping rope, just for something to do.
Max laughs. Daniel's glad she's turned away. Her cheeks are burning again.
"It's the truth. You, of course, Daniel, are not like other girls either." He says it lightly and ends with a chuckle, as if it's all just a joke. Daniel drags a sweaty hand over her cheeks. Burning, burning, burning.
Apparently, in Max's mind, she and Kelly are the same; both not like other girls. Kelly, with her faultless makeup and wonderful daughter and classy dresses and perfect feminity. One end of the scale. Daniel, the other. Barely even considered "a girl." Always one of the boys, only woman in f1 for a reason.
"Thanks," Daniel says. She wants to make it sound humorous, like she's in on the joke too. Instead, it's too cold; muttered as if she actually gave two shits about the conversation anyway. She has an F1 season to prepare for, she's too busy to care about stupid shit like this.
There's a beat of silence as Daniel stretches out the rope, feeling the plastic flex and give. Then, Max exhaling, the gentle bump of his weights against the floor, the workout bench shifting as his centre of gravity changes. Daniel keeps her back to him, ignoring it all.
"I did not mean it as insult," Max finally says, stubborn. Daniel forces a laugh, turning to give him a smile, all teeth.
"Of course not Maxy. I get that." Voice light and blithe. One of the boys.
She thinks he'll drop it, but instead, his frown only grows. Pinched brows, thin lips, cheeks growing blotchy. Blue eyes regard her, intense and unyielding. She burns from the inside out.
"I've upset you," he says, in that blunt, genuine way only he can do. Daniel barks out another laugh.
"Don't be stupid. You're not important enough to ever be able to get under my skin." She gives him another smile with only teeth. She feels insane. Her mother tells her good girls stay quiet.
"I'm sorry," he tries again, growing frustrated now, "I did not mean -"
"I told you, you didn't upset me," she drops the skipping rope without actually using it. "Anyway, I'm bored. Wanna get lunch now? Or are you still trying to pump those muscle with more testosterone?"
Max gives her one last, searching look before standing. They're almost the same height. She wants to shrink to nothing.
"That is not how testosterone works, Daniel," he says with the air of an overworked teacher. He looks at her with a smile, uncertain but genuine. She laughs, allowing him to move the conversation on.
She walks out of the gym first but holds the door for him. He grins, relieved. His fingers skim hers as he takes it and she lets go. A chill runs through her. Cold like scales, cold like ice cream untouched.
Follow up here!
#whole lot of internalised misogyny to unpack here#in my head Daniel is looking like Tash Sultana in the music video for “Jungle”#Max just meaning :))) Kelly knows you and she knows me :))) and she knows we are both two good people who would not cheat :)))#while Daniel just going into an existential crisis of#:((( Kelly knows Max and I :((( and I am zero threat to her because I must be utterly undesirable :((( and not Max's type at all :(((#maxiel#girl!Daniel#for the first time ever lol#my fic#ending involves the tension between them growing and growing#and Kelly watches them share a podium and sees the way Max wraps his arm around Daniel's shoulder and hugs her tightly#and the way Daniel laughs so happily and loudly everyone can hear her#and suddenly Kelly realises she had been wrong and Daniel was a threat#and basically gives Max an ultimate to choose one of them and stop all contact with the other#somehow Daniel finds out and just locks herself away from the world during summer break because it's not even a question who max will pick#and their story ends with Max knocking on her door with looking annoyed with a bunch of drooping flowers#and before Daniel can even say anything he's stepping into her apartment and getting a vase from her cupboard#while complaining about how he ordered the flowers that morning but the florist fucked up his order and of course the flourists in the#Netherlands are much better and soon he will take Daniel there and pick proper flowers like tulips for her#she stares at him in pure disbelief and then starts to laugh. and Max looks over and laughs too and they're still smiling when they kiss#:)))))#apologies but I'm a sucker for a soppy cliched ending lol
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listen i'd go skinny-dipping in the dead of winter before i ever even consider becoming an anti but sometimes the proship community makes me sigh very deeply and take a very long and exaggerated sip from whatever alcoholic beverage i have on hand at the time
#scary crane rambles#not fandom#i classify with you but god you have some terrible takes sometimes. and also are a little annoying. but its okay#also why is there a ''proship community''. again thats like ''people who breathe community'' or ''people who blink community''#literally being proship is one of the most normal things you can do#not giving a fuck about whatever fanfic strangers on the internet are writing is so ridiculously normal#we dont need to make this a novelty. yeah i know antis are trying to make it this like. pizzagate type thing#but i think any person with a functioning brain would easily be able to figure out that antis are the insane ones#at least i hope so#sidenote i dont consider internet pred catchers to have functioning brains lol. ur not chris hansen. go drink a beer
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Tumblr sorta needs a 'Mute' feature in my opinion. Like what if I don't want to block this user, what if I don't want to become enemies and in some days I'd like to interact. But also most of the time seeing how they avidly encourage everyone else whereas I get the passive-aggressive 'oh yeah very uhh... interesting... (please leave me alone I don't like your art lol)' makes me want to unfollow every single fan of these characters and never draw them again.
I remember two years ago the exact same thing happened when someone liked the same character and the same ship and I swear I was the only person in the fandom they bluntly left out and could not spare a single good word for. I can't even blame this on my art being "ugly" because this type of user always aggressively praises all art styles and all levels of skill, it feels more like 'a personal thing except we never fought a single time'. And now my toxic trait of needing approval from [cool person name] is back to haunt me years later! Add the unability to "abandon" this character/ship/whatever despite wanting to after facing so much unspoken passive spite, because I am a contrarian and the best way to trap me into doing something is to try to exclude me from it. I didn't face attempts to very aggressively bully me out of the yard/class/community/etc, sometimes with physical violence included, only to let something mid like passive aggression online finally do it.
I am really stupid and naive person despite my age, but in like 5% of the cases I will still understand the hint and understand what is going on. Yet I have to pretend to be clueless even in rare situations when I know someone hates me, because since they never admitted it, quitting will be perceived as me being "paranoid". But dear goooood, it hurts sometimes. I hope that one day I will be numbed to being treated as a tumor on an otherwise healthy body of society that someone is dying to amputate- and always a person whose approval I want, of all people. Knowing that this day will come is one of the things that keep me going as both a person and a creator. Things like viruses and diseases still try their best to persist, so even if I am actually one, I should persist. It doesn't matter whether I actually rot everything around me or this is just my self-depreciating delusion upon focusing on people that mistreated me and not people that loved me. What matters is persisting, I just still feel angry that it hurts. I can't respond spite with spite or passive aggression with passive aggression, I can't do the 'smug asshole' when I become aware that someone tries to starve me until I "die". I can just fall over and cry about it like a kicked dog, despite being so old, especially when it is a person I didn't have anything against.
And really.. It is as simple as turning the internet off, so I don't see The Person and can focus on doing stuff that I like, as if they never existed and can't crash my self-esteem. It is just annoying to keep doing this, a feature to not see them unless I am in the mood would be better. Like.. blocking is not an option. Not only it implies being enemies which is not my intention, but also it will be like an "evidence" that I was "crazy". They didn't do anything, right? Well, they know what they did, but it was never verbal, so it is my fault I "imagined things", right?
#/vent#/negative#/HEAVILY negative#fandomry rambles#like I started crying typing this do not read it unless you already know#it is just stupid how I don't even need any sort of drama to *just* annoy people to THIS severe point#like I said even before everything there was a very similar situation#I just evoke some primal hatred in specific type of people#it is probably what happened with maasanox but they apologized and moreover felt bad vibes from the stalker bully idiot#it is more like that meme from Lilo and Stitch#'ah yeah all artists and other creative fans deserve knowing they are liked and talented and supported...'#*katya walks in* 'EXCEPT THAT ONE!!!!!!!'#the punchline is that the two years ago guy and todays guy are fans of the same character#I swear the fictional bastard has abnormal ability to reveal the ugliest truths and bring out the worst in people#like the last time someone kinned the twink every single person here showed their true face and that was painful#not a single person got spared of showing what they were made of and me lacking spine was the LEAST of the sins brought up for judgement#you see this is why truth hurts. because people are terrible. truth is always ugly because WE are always ugly#I kinda love him for that but seriously can he stop making the worst things surface for FIVE minutes lol#in my excuse I am TRYING to kill my 'inner child' because these problems are too stupid but it seems impossible#I am a kicked dog with rabies in the past today and always
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Sigeumchi-Namul/Korean-seasoned Spinach is so damn good and I really need to just start making some and leaving it in the fridge to eat through the week, cause it's so low-spoon and keeps well and is delicious cold~
Just blanch some spinach (boil for 30s-1m minutes then rinse in ice cold water or run under cold water tap), press the excess water out of it (either squeeze it with your hands or find some good weight to press it with. I'm thinking leave the spinch in a strainer in the sink and put a glass bowl full of water on top of it but i haven't tried yet). You might want to bunch it into a cube and chop it a few times (the amount of chops depending on how big a batch you've cooked).
Then season it with soy sauce (or coconut aminos and maybe add salt if soy-free), toasted sesame oil, toasted sesame seeds, minced garlic, chopped green onion, and, optionally, add some gochugaru (Korean red pepper flakes) or silgochu (shredded Korean red pepper) if you want some heat. Even regular black pepper is good in it if you don't like the spicy pepper heat.
I haven't tried, but it probably works well with frozen spinach too, just thaw it according to directions and then season as above. Probably takes longer to thaw than cook, but easier on clean up that way.
The amount of seasoning will depend on how big a batch you make, but start low then add more. Sesame oil is strongly flavored so start with a tsp. Maybe about .25 more soy sauce than sesame oil, but your taste will vary. It should taste nutty from the sesame oil and a bit salty.
#low spoon recipe#low spoon cooking#I was just reminded of this dish and then realized the low spoon cooking blogs i was following haven't posted in a long time so...#Putting it here instead of submitting it lol#And ffs no teenage white girls telling me I'm calling Korean food wrong like the one that said kimchi can only be cabbage PLEASE#I'm still annoyed with them. The caucasity of it all#(Yeah i know I'm white too but my husband is Korean my MIL worked at a traditional restaurant owned by her sister in seoul)#(If she says cucumber kimchi is kimchi then it's fucking kimchi. You can buy radish kimchi at uwajimaya. Kimchi just means pickled veg)#(I know this recipe isn't for kimchi but just in case they try to say the same thing about namul... which can be many different veg not jus#spinach... namul is just a type of seasoned veg banchan/side dish. I think it was watercress namul last time we visited her)#(She's made it out of wild greens she's picked before it was one of the first things i ever ate that she made and it was so damn good)#(I bet you could make it out of like. Dandelion greens if you wanted.)
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one of the things i hate the most is “historians will say they were just best friends”. it irritates me like a splinter under the skin. first off, the way people showed affection in the past was different; there are etiquette books warning girls in the 19th century not to kiss their friends (who are girls) on the street because it’s impolite. men would walk arm in arm together. but everyone sees that and screams that it’s gay (I’ve seen someone look at a Sherlock Holmes Paget drawing and claim simultaneously that it was gay AND that Holmes is a bottom because he was holding Watson’s arm. How is that not fucked up to assign sexual positions based on amount of affection rendered?). It comes from a modern (and mostly American) mindset that any sort of affection has to be gay, and then that’s applied erroneously to the past.
my second point is this: it’s enormously hard to call someone homosexual or queer or whatever else you may wish because they didn’t have the labels themselves coupled with how the display of affection is different than now. also the evidence is sorely lacking. most people didn’t take down a note and go “I am so and so, I enjoy sexual congress in this manner with this person and not in the way that would make me [heterosexual]. Good day, future person reading this.” You have to look at phrasing and context and the pieces that ARE left behind, but even then you generally can’t wholesale declare a historical person’s past sexuality.
and finally—hello? historians arent all straight and it’s pretty hurtful and irksome to be labelled as such. don’t you think we want to be able to find someone to connect to in the past and hold up as a beacon for other people, to say “you’re not alone” or “we’ve always been here, you just have to look”? but we can’t just run around calling everyone gay because 1) it’s not true and 2) it diminishes our credibility so that no one will believe us when we do find enough proof to make tentative claims toward the person perhaps not being straight
#I’ve found people in the past who were almost certainly gay.#BUT I can’t go “they were definitely 100% gay” I mean I can like with friends and stuff in private as a lark.#but if in a professional setting I would have to just say “here’s evidence I have that would lead me to think they aren’t straight”#there are certain professions that were friendlier to those outside the margins so to speak.#I know more about men than women and the 19th century than others#but stuff like mining sailing any type of lonesome farming ranching cattle driving and ofc theatre#anyway I know it’s a meme but it just annoys me so much becos like ofc we can’t just say they were gay#especially when a lot of times your evidence is solely they walked together or something like that#lol my thesis for my BS in history was Victorian sex and sexuality yeehaw#about me#gtoy
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.
#a little bit of a happy rant... (can rants be happy? if not i don't know the word then lol)#a while ago when i was deep diving into autism research because i'm 98% sure i'm autistic#i told my mom this and i also told her i wanted to go see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed#bad idea cause my mom is the type of person who thinks ''everyone is a little autistic'' which is stupid but anyways she didn't believe me#she thinks putting labels on things is bad and we shouldn't do it#but this is not a fun label... this is an actual diagnosis!!#i digress. the point is that i stoped talking about it because i don't have the energy or desire to try to convince my mother#that i know what goes on inside my brain.#but my brother! My brother is a sweetheart#he seems like he doesn't give a shit about anything but every now and then he will drop the cutest most affirming comments#(he did that when i came out as trans too)#i'm sure my brother has adhd if not autism or possibly both so maybe he has looked it up before or at least understands it better#but like for christmas he wanted to get me a weighted blanket because i'm always talking about how i need preassure and weight on me#and also that i like rocking myself to sleep (i need one of those automatic rocking chairs for babies but like adult size)#anyways he aknowledges (let's pretend i can spell that word) what i said and my suspicions of autism#today the noise of a tiny bit of air escaping from a badly close bottle lid was annoying me#i wasn't in the room i may add#when i complained my mom was like ''damn! that hearing!'' or somthing like that#and my brother. very casually said ''it's the autism'' which made me so fucking happy that is the first time someone fucking believes me!#but then my mom went ''naaah there's no autism here'' (or somthing amongst those lines) which took my excitement aways#but anyways i love my brother and his casual support <3#angel talks#personal
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woah... that's some premium human (kittycat?) heart in conflict with itself
(fr everyone in lackadaisy is kittycats to me lmao. going like, whoa, neat humansona ideas....)
and also fr like everyone get in on "mordecai killed atlas even though of course he didn't do it b/c he Wanted to: bet on it" if only for the fun drama of it all....it Is fun & funny to me that like, sure there's only so many major characters, and sure there's no incorrect one to point to like "wow what a delight" but i wasn't really That previously aware that mordecai is like a fan fave like omg the bad bitches (especial popularity) he pulled by being autistic :'] we just don't expect to see it lmao. like this theory should also be more popular then if even just by virtue of that premium kittycat heart in conflict with itself material it supplies. pointing at mordecai like haha he's sooo upset about all this and That Is Why He Quit, not to go investigate marigold which he's also just said he Wasn't doing until just now. we've seen the [oh grief? besot? interesting] bonus material....not that i don't think most people do imagine that of course mordecai has a good amount of emotional investment in things driving him here, but this does ramp it up which i think also works as an argument in its favor; like i'd be inherently more skeptical about any theory that required mordecai to actually care less about things lol than about any that gives him more personal emotional motivation
truly like "we know mordecai wouldn't want to kill atlas..." (agreed) "...so he can't have been the one to kill him" like first of all lol no way is it a Writeoff anyways, like we've got a mystery here but we Won't imagine ways in which [nobody could ever kill someone they didn't want to kill] wouldn't apply? second of all: Think Of The Drama Of Him Killing Him Even Though He Wouldn't Want To
#i also lean towards the additional drama of ''he felt a gay type of way about atlas'' lol#this theory does though add more mystery around ''what Specifically is mordecai investigating rn then?''#since i don't think it's [specifically who shot atlas] what with that having been mordecai; to me....#could be ''who knows that mordecai shot him'' but could also be something broader#such as the whole mystery of ''what were the circumstances that led to atlas's death''#lackadaisy#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#and i also know they're not Not kittycats...insofar as it's Not ''au of this world: what if ppl had been bipedal cats'' lol#and rather ''it's just this world as a setting in a fictional story & ppl are cats for fun & practicality & other rewards''#i will always remember the way the one time i recommended lackadaisy in person they rejected it b/c of the cats thing lmfao....#like yeah idk if you're first & foremost worried abt your state-issued fursona idk what to tell you i guess....#anyways you're so right. elevator pitch for this theory: intensifying mordecai's anguish marinade beyond [annoyed by own job]#joke's on him. his teamup with the savoys is a delight. see also my theory that:#where the comic cuts off currently the savoys Are abt to burst in & shoot gracie & have to become either more Friend Or Foe to mordecai#than he would like. out here like ugh we just work together can you Not forcibly carve sigils into my chest while serafine is like lol. lma#unbelievable........there's nobody you can put in a room w/mordecai & Not have it be a dream team#autistique funny little guy....the universal [makes it a dream team] ingredient
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literally any romance trope is made better with monsters but unrequited romance specifically... gets me
#unrequited love usually annoys me because the hints the author lays out are either too obvious or not explained away in a realistic way#which makes me think the mc is an idiot and thus i begin to hate them#but like. i love monster biology. i love making up monster behavioral traits and culture and like. mating rituals#and if your friend is a spooky little guy and he's acting weird around you it's kind of like... he's always weird? he'a a monster#specifically i like it when monsters have like. mildly weird fetishes. like for collarbones or smells or whatever#so like if spooky daniel excuses himself from the room when i come in from my morning run i'm not gonna think#'oh he's totes jacking it to how sweaty i smell rn'#i'm thinking 'aw :( he's got a sensitive nose i forgot i must REEK to him rn'#and if i wear an over-the-shoulder top and he keeps glancing at my newly exposed area i'm not thinking#'oh he must instinctively see this as me baring my neck like a deer or perhaps a rabbit'#no!!! i'm either thinking 'lol prude' or 'well yeah i basically never wear this kind of shirt'#'it's like when you're trying not to stare at a woman's cleavage or smth'#or im not even noticing!!!#if some of my clothes disappear i'm not thinking 'ah yes for his nest of items which smell like me for his goon cave'#i'm either not noticing or assuming i misplaced them!!! a bitch is forgetful#if there is Mysterious Ooze i am simply not asking. i am looking away. unless it is actively Nasty i am simply Not Asking#if he's particularly excited when our plans get cancelled and we get to stay home im not thinking#'ah yes he's keeping me contained to my den just like the tasmanian devil' (look it up)#shit i'm excited too!!! i hate plans let's make macaroni and watch professional wrestling#if he suddenly hates all men in my life okay i'm concerned. what the fuck did they do. what the fuck did YOU do.#if he's just slightly pissier than usual then yeah i get that the guys at work suck ass#if he's giving me gifts i feel awkward about it but if it's just like a shiny rock that shit's going on the mantel#if it's food fuck it i'll fuck the guy myself#love monster cultures but i hate it when they make monsters assume their cultural way of expressing love is the norm#and then they're just like 'we're dating now and i will say NOTHING ELSE ABOUT IT'#like yeah have the guy express love through his culture but i think it's cuter#if he does it that way specifically so it goes unnoticed#like 'i can never be rejected if they don't know there's something to reject'#'i get to shower you with affection which you understand in some type of way AND i never have to face the mortifying idea of being alone'#monsterfucking
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Didn’t get any sleep last night because I had a migraine and I was still awake when my wife got up for work, which is fine. Except they lost their wallet and I was trying to help look and offering suggestions to where it may be even though my head hurts so horribly bad and they just kept getting more frustrated, because they couldn’t find it, not with me, and being mean and now I’m upset
Like bro I haven’t slept all night after an eight hour shift and I’m in severe pain can you please be nice to me for five seconds while I’m trying to help you
#personal vent#I’m lowkey trying to convince my wife to go to therapy for anger issues because they’re genuinely very snippy and mean to me quite often#when they’re slightly annoyed at anything and it’s starting to become actually detrimental to me#like Saturday we had made plans to go to my grandmas and sit in my inflatable pool all day because it was hot and we were both off#but they forgot and instead played Minecraft all morning and at 2 when I finally convinced them to go over they spent the entire time we#were over there mad. they refused the shoes I was wearing despite burning their feet because they were so pissed off id asked for their help#using the airpump. they didn’t bring a swimsuit so they couldn’t sit with me at all#the shoes I was offering them were actually their shoes I was wearing and I said ‘you can have my shoes’ meaning the ones on my feet not#ones that I owned and they snapped ‘actually they’re my fucking shoes’ at me#they also get extremely mad if I tell them#that something they’re doing has hurt my feelings even if I’m bringing it up just to discuss because I’m trying to communicate healthily#with them and they get so defensive that I’m#not sure if I’m being overdramatic or if they’re genuinely being mean to me anymore#again this is painting our relationship in a really bad light but I have no one in my real life I can talk to about this stuff#and I genuinely think they just don’t know how to handle or process their anger and frustration at other things and I am often the nearest#person to them so it often gets taken out on me. but it’s really really not fair to me and I’m starting to get so burnt out by it#like go to fucking therapy and learn healthy ways to process your anger/take criticism on your actions or I’m gonna blow us both up#lol#also as I was typing these tags they called me and told me their wallet was in their bag. a place I suggested they look like ten times.#and a place they got very mad at me for suggesting. what if I screamed.
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I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic
#the only exception to this is its okay if he develops some pesudo-romantic psychologial fixation on one of his long suffering male sidekicks#or assistants or whatever (since this character acrhetype ALWAYS has some sort of like Straight Man Every Man helper to follow#him around and be an audience stand in. sometimes multiple like a whole team of assistants. sometimes just one etc.)#like a strange not-entirely-romance-but-mutualy-unhealthy-comedic-codependence w someone you worked w 25+ yrs COULD be in character. sure.#ASIDE from that one exception though..... just keep them aromantic and asexual.. why would someone who has been that way for their#entire fucking life suddenly be like ''well I've known this woman three weeks but she's really hot! whoops!''#''guess I'm going to act completely out of character! sometimes booba so booby it fundametally alters the dna of me personality. you know ho#w it is'' .. like shut up.. explode#It's not that I project personally onto these characters (writers are bad at writing them and they're generally annoying as shit) BUT just#like... coming FROM the perspective OF a cold detached ''robot'' seeming hermit freak.. like textbook scholar wizard man locked#away in a tower somewhere type personality... You just watch shows sometimes and you can SEE that the writers are trying to write#the Character Archetype that is your actual realworld personality and you're just like 'we do NOT fucking act like that!!!' lol#you know ? like .. i don't actually care about the characters themselves but more just.. the principle of the thing. staying true to what#has been set up. You can't be like ''oh yeah this is your typical cold detached hermit weirdo with zero interest in human relationships for#the most part blah blah blah'' and then 5 minutes later be like ''WAIT GUYS!! LOOK! they're still NORMAL! look they love booba#too!!! haha hashtag Relatable!!'' .. what have you done to him.. you've massacred the archtype.. cowardly fool#Also I'm referencing them as male because this character archtetype is usually male but the same thing can apply for other gendered versions#of the archetype. it's ALWAYS annoying. no matter what it is lol. GOD AND IT'S even worse when they're supposed to be like hundreds or thous#ands of years old like.. some sort of supernatural being who's ''above it all'' because they've seen the world's cycles for so long#and blah blah and then it's like ''omg.. suddenly into romance.. for some reason all 900 years of my life nobody has ever been good#enough but YOU.. random ass person who I met 30 minutes ago and are completely average in every way or maybe you have like one#special power or are smart or something but apparently somehow I've lived 900 years without ever meeting a single other smart person#or whatever but WOW.. you... instant soulamtes.. I am no longer aromantic and asexual. I am also no longer smart.''#at least if it's a human with a normal lifespan you can be like 'well they were only 30. maybe they genuinely did just have their first#sexul awakening' or something but.. you're telling me like.. 900 years??? 1000 years?? and NOW they're like 'whooa!!' lol#Which obviously all aroace people are different.. all people with autism or schizoid pd or any other mental illnesses that can sometimes#lend people towards that type of 'weird hermit' archetype are all different. plenty of these people WILL have relationships and sex and desi#re those things. but it's like.. if you are OBVIOUSLY setting out to write that one VERY specific archetype within the broader archetype#then GO ALL THE WAY!! you cant have someone be like HALF-detached partial-hemrit sometimes-maybe-genuis or whatever#or I guess you can but like. it should be that way from the beginning. it's the random sudden shift in personality thats jarring
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