#but i know i know the journey isnt finished yet

[stardust-static]

Hey you know how cargo pants are back in style? Well I saw a pair of satin ones and I was like yeah let me get these and be trendy! So I did. I even got a body suit to go under them. Me a year ago would not be wearing a body suit or cargo pants! But I lost quite a bit of weight since then and have been trying to be a little more adventurous. Bad move really. The cargo pants were not cute. I don't know if they ever were and bodysuits are a nightmare article of clothing. They'll give you wedgie both ways. Idk I'm pretty sure I just have a long torso, but yeah.. cargo pants are a no for me. I have discovered that I have a new love for jeans though! Who would have thunk. They do have to be thin denim and stretchy though. Regular denim makes my legs feel claustrophobic.

I have 7 more lbs to loose till I'm under 200. I'll tell you what though, those 7lbs are holding on for dear life. The cold also doesn't help. All I want to do is bake! And there's the fact that my shoulder has been hurting so bad. Just makes me want to not work out. I should figure out what's going on with that next week. Also at the beginning of January we get gym pass as part of our insurance that will let us go to almost any gym. So we did the typical we're going to start regularly going to the gym as our resolution.

This past year I have lost 100+ pounds. Next year my goal is 50 and then I'm done. I'll then just need to focus on maintaining.

I'm close, but it's definitely more of a struggle now that my body is adjusting. I'll need to push myself a little harder this coming year.

[claitea]

a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!

by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading in jp 13 - woowoo is not beating the marriage proposal allegations

im back after finishing metaphor refantazio. short one today

idk if this was fully reflected in EN, but wow there's uh, something going on here. so in trimax' re-introduction to vash and wolfwood, it essentially involves the latter crashing into a family's day and taking one of their member away.

granted there are a lot of reasons why vash has to leave his new family, and its completely understandable, but theres a good chance he's not returning without getting tossed around, stabbed, and shot a few times. and once VTS returns, vash isnt going to be able to lay low with Sheryl and Lina again. everyone is on the same page about this.

even then! there is. something about the scene between sheryl and wolfwood here. heres the OH's version. notice how she phrases vash leaving her and lina:

jp version:

/There are moments when, when one loses a member of their family... /The times don't always pass by easily... /I'd like -- /For you to never, ever forget that fact, Mr. Wolfwood. /.......... /Forgive me.

so, to re-contextualize this.

we have sheryl, the 'head' of the family unit here, who essentially is watching an adopted child fly the nest due to One shady man from outside town. said man is taking one of her family member away to live a new life after 1 meeting.

and while im sure there's a layer of dread knowing that vash might die in his quest after leaving this sanctuary, it also comes off as handing off one's daughter to their partner. usually for marriage, if you wanna bring in the asian pov? cause uh daughters marry into the husband's side? shrugs?

of course, i might be having shipping goggles on.

then again. in the next chapter a insurance agent hit man tries to kill vash, who gets shot trying to cover a bystander, and wolfwood comes in to stop that. hes pretty pissed about it too:

the EN here is pretty on point, but there's something about the phrase wolfwood is using for My Pal in jp. specifically, he uses the phrase, 人のつれ. which more accurately, would be roughly, "my traveling companion".

or, even MORE accurately, つれ Tsure is a person you drag along with you. which is to say, wolfwood phrases this as if hes the one initiating and leading the journey, not vash himself. (to see that monument with the KNIVES graffiti). theres possessiveness and protectiveness in that bubble overall too with a very accusatory tone thats clearer in JP than EN.

gotta also love this part here where he calls vash vash and not tongari yet. that starts in the chapter after this.

anyway that possessiveness and protectiveness even at this point isnt just bc he was hired by knives to do a job. this isn't the face of a man who is underpaid.

its the face of a man who thinks someone is a jackass

and needs extra tabasco pain on their open wounds for hurting one of his. (platonic? romantic? just a job? mystery!)

yay!

[rosvyy]

cute lil "no longer you" analysis

Ok guys so like we know how the oracle works? Yeah yeah yeah, they say smth and no matter what you do, it will come true because of what you do. However, there are different pathways obvs. So tiresias is like, "Yeah theres a lot of your journeys, odysseys if you will, and there are good an bad endings. I know there is a good ending here for you, but I dont know it here, it isnt yours." HOWEVER it could change. It isnt set in stone yet. He sings the prophecy. He sings what is most likely going to happen from this moment onwards, how in the musical Eurylochus stands up and is killed 'a brothers final stand' and the 'sacrifice of man' being scylla and how odysseus didnt do anything to prevent the death of the men. I think the 'last breath' is in reference to "Get in the Water" but it could also be when he washes up on Claypsos shore, although I doubt it cause thats a stretch. Cause like... yeah no. Odysseus is like "Hold on. No thats not fair. We have been well, we have been using other means instead of violence so we can be fair, this ISNT fair! Then Tiresias goes on to recite more of this version of the prophecy, how Penelope will be reunited with a man who isnt anything like Odysseus is. NOW this is where it matters imo. This prophecy differs so heavily from the book, but in the book there is a choice. He tells the men to not eat any cattle they come across or else they will suffer from it and Odysseus will arrive home much later than what he would like. The option of choice is still there, eat the cattle or do not. Odysseus being doomed by the narrative has this choice screwed by his crew, but it was still presented to him none the less. Epic doesnt go this route on a surface listen. There is no clear choice but the indication is still there. After Tiresia has finished the current prophecy, it comes down to Odysseus to place how the story will go. He could either "greet the world with open arms" and try beg Tiresia to tell him the other worlds and other prophecy's, or he could go down the path the Gods favour of anger and suffering. Upon hearing his wife is with a man "with a trail of bodies", he screams "who" with such desperation and anger which the audience has never heard before. Without even saying so, it has implemented and foreshadowed the vengeance and anger he holds to this man who has taken his wife. This is dramatic irony to the audience who knows what will happen, how he turns into this man. He doesnt hate him, he becomes him, so that he can seek vengeance on who Tiresia described. It also can be interpreted from the lines already presented by Tiresia that the man is Odyssesy, as his crew, the 558 men who died, trail behind him as 'the past is always close behind'. A trail of bodies which he met only a song prior to "no longer you". The "Who" line which Odysseus screams cements his fate, the anger and choice of bitterness athena steered him to and Poseidon reimplemented being chosen over the advice his dead friend gave him. This is when Tiresias repeats the first verse, the repetition illustrating how that world now is this world. It cements that there is no change to be done, Odysseus path will end in a trail of bodies which is greater than the one he already bears, and the sacrifices he must make in order to reunite with his wife while becoming something akin to the Devine whilst staying mortal, a monster.

[kosmicdream]

The FATE of FEAST FOR A KING

.. and Nasty Red Dogs… 

And some other miscellaneous thoughts about comics, writing, and time.... AND ENDINGS...

============= 

As I’m approaching 10 years on FFAK and NRD is currently 5, I’ve been reflecting a lot on How far this journey with comics has taken me and how far I still have yet to go. For those unaware, my first webcomic was actually Eggshells, which started in 2011, but i only started posting pages publicly in 2013. It too is unfinished, but its planned for 7 chapters. (I’m currently working on chapter 5, which probably will come out early next year.) I have 9 ongoing comics I’m working on. NINE!! 3 of those are FFAK related. (FFAK, After Dinner Treat, and the prequel series “Help.”) It is so many comics though. And beyond that! I have two other stories I’ve been working on for the past few years in secret, one being Nice Blue Cats, which I might still draw as a comic someday.. As well as a series of “one shots” that is meant to be its own collection. Slugmom and “The Teacher & The Fairy” are part of these one shot collections. Which, uh, it was designed to help me practice writing short stories. Which TT&TF is now going to be three parts long, and roughly 300 pages. So I guess that’s short enough…? Ha.. laughs… Anyway, as I was saying.. Sometimes I’m sure, readers might wonder. “Do you ever feel overwhelmed, with so many projects Kosmic?” Yeah dude. I sure fucking do. I got 9 of them! That’s more than a full pokemon team of projects that are potentially a decade + of work. A couple of them already are a decade old/older at this point. (Praeymoon is actually one of my oldest-lasting projects, even tho its first chapter only finally released in 2023.. I first attempted to draw ch1 back in 2016, but was unable to finish it and scrapped the “full color” angle i was trying then. ) All my current ongoing comic projects are as follows: Feast for a King, Nasty Red Dogs, Eggshells, The Teacher & the Fairy, Replacer, The Eyes of Miasma, FFAK: After Dinner Treat, FFAK: Help, are all written. The only one which isnt fully written is Praeymoon, which I don’t mind because the way that story is organized is almost more of a sandbox-fantasy world of mini stories. I’ll be honest, if you havent heard of Replacer or The Eyes of Miasma, I don’t blame you- its not that i don’t like those stories. They just kind of are the “most neglected” comics yet I’m also kind of amazed they exist at all, like I DONT know how I found the time to draw over 100 pages for both of them. They also have fully written outlines and all things considered, are probably only going to be under 400-500 pages in length. But that’s still a decent amount of work there. Its been ten years since I more or less started making webcomics… and as I plan, and try to calculate all my projects for the next 10 years, my main priority at the moment is well.. Finishing all of these fucking stories one way or another. Its hard! I don’t know if I can as I put way too much on my plate. But at the same time like.. Whatever. I could easily drop most of them, if I felt inclined to - but I don’t. They are my library of work, and I’ve sort of made an artist oath to myself that I will see as many of them to the end as I can. I’m excited that three are very close to its end. (Nasty Red Dogs, The Teacher & the Fairy, and Eggshells.) After that well.. I’ll see what I can cross off my list next once I get there.. That’s still going to take years to get those done. But hopefully not too many. 

[Spoilers for potential LENGTHS of FFAK/NRD.. And other things.. I speak very transparently about writing and working on comics here AND including my thoughts on ENDINGS.. You’ve been warned]

I’m comfortable enough sharing that the fairy comic is 3 parts, Eggshells is 7 chapters, but when it comes to FFAK/NRD.. Its much harder to give an estimate, or if sharing those things will only be disappointing or annoying to hear about.. If you have ever been around me for more than 10 minutes, i am constantly talk about the “length left” on these projects a lot anyway. At night, i count them in my head. In the day, I write little lists as if I’ve forgotten the names of them.. They are MY LIST.

 But for those who do not know and wish to, NRD is likely going to end with 10 chapters. I have extended this in the past, so it could still change.. but it only really has gotten “longer” due to pacing of scenes rather than the actual content. And Honestly, it was paced out specifically to avoid this next chapter. Not that I didn’t want to draw it, its because i was Scared to do it.. Why? Because there’s cars I have to draw in it. And dogs. I have drawn those things before, at least once or twice. But I do not enjoy drawing cars or dogs. Dogs are okay now, but i hate that they have legs. Dont give me references, i have those. Its just how my brain is, with those fuckign legs and how there’s four of them. I know practice makes perfect. Or do-able. I have drawn amost 1000 pages of NRD, i dont remember how they bend and i’ve forgiven myself for knowing there’s just some things god cannot do, which is to give kosmic the ability to look at a dog leg and understand. Anyway. Because of this reason, somehow, finishing NRD with it only possibly being 4 more chapters, still feels harder than finishing ALL of FFAK - which (drumroll) might be .. only around 10 or 12 chapters left. Yes, you heard me- for the second AND third arc. 10 or 12 more. Will that also change? Probably!!!!!! Like, yes… its been 9 years and I’ve completed a lot more than just 10 chapters of comics in that time.. But wrapping up a story is way harder and I dont know what that’s like..yet! But i feel still confident that i will. I mean, i don’t really have any other choice than to experience it. I used to recoil and fall apart just emotionally contemplating finishing FFAK. my FUCKING baby. My joy. You mean that has to end?? NEVER. My attachment to it and the characters was incomparable to anything else I had done, and in my mind ever WILL make… (and that is still true.) But.. I’m okay with that now and I actually look forward to seeing how it could end up. Even if its bad! 

Its kind of weird to say, I just don’t really think it will be.. super good? Like.. it could be? I don’t know how readers will react. I dont even know how I feel about the whole thing.. I have felt so many feelings about this comic already, now I’m kind of.. Past it in a new stage. Zen like peace almost. There’s just.. so much that I wanted to PUT in FFAK and so much i could STILL put in. But I kind of just am okay with what i wrote, does that even make sense? The whole comic has felt like such a fluke to me, from the very start. And I managed to accidentally make so many great things in it I don’t actually understand sometimes. And my dreams for the comic has been nearly limitless. I couldn’t possibly contain all the feelings I’ve had over this story over the many years I have been making it, and all the incredible narrative outcomes I could see the characters going in.. the possibilities, the parallels.. The anime music videos..  I would NOT compare my writing style to GRRM, I haven’t read his books. but I can’t help but feel a bit like a weird baby version of him with the amount of cast members I have to push around and draw.. And I want to be clear. If FFAK was written as a book, it wouldn’t happen. I cannot write books. I do not think writing books is easier/faster than making comics, but sometimes it is hard to have to draw everyone. Point is, I understand the reality of a long-term comic project now, I have numbers and logs to prove it  and my range. And I’m fairly consistent, even in my low days. So.. in recent years my writing style has.. has changed to accommodate.. Those.. General Realities i’ve observed in myself. 

That’s why the second arc excites me. It has a lot of uhh, urgency that underlies it. You might have already noticed a change in the tone in chapter 16, which I’ve been working on for almost a year now. (I mean, I’ve been working on the written version for.. LOL.. much longer.) Maybe you haven’t! It could all just be from my own POV with how differently i feel that I delegate time to characters now. I did not start “writing” FFAK until chapter 10, and then i did not really start WRITING writing ffak until about.. Honestly, i want to say as late as 2019. It TOOK SO LONG you guys. I dont even know how many fucking thousands of pages of madness word documents I’ve got, with revision after revision and trying to list, contain, every possibly plotline… character backstory.. Blah blah blah.. Ive cut it down so much its impressive only to me. I don’t remember my lore anymore , and i love it. My readers probably know my lore better, and I don’t love it. Except when it benefits me. Then Its good. I would not describe myself as a RUTHLESS cut THROAT author, im actually too way sentimental to really let go of anyone. That’s why it took me so long to kill off Rock, but also because I wanted spoon to look really sexy and evil and that’s hard to do sometimes when I cant remember what half side he is. And when he was flipping around, I had to actually make a paper doll for him so i could TRY .. TRY to draw his arm on the correct side. Sometimes I didn’t. I just let it go if the drawing is good enough and i let it be a fun game for the readers to catch. But anyway, That’s why characters like Aeschylus are still around. Now that time has passed, I kind of regret it. Rome was right.. I dont need Aeschylus here and I’m mad he brought his friend Randall too. That being said, they’re some of my favorite characters in this arc even if they’re totally useless. In general, i have tried my best to not repeat all my writing sins and all my regrets of arc 1. I would not have been able to do this without the help of NRD to help get me to see that I can get attached and motivated to write new stories. When I hit my writing block in 2016/2017, it almost broke FFAK. FFAK still continued, but it also didn’t. But i was patient, and i worked through it.. And now I look forward to the ends of my comics, not because I want them to end but I’m very deeply excited for all the new opportunities my imagination to go to. I don’t know what that will be like. I don’t know how long it will still take me to get there, but I have it on [digital] paper and it does feel good to see that. Its affirming. I feel like i have a clear mission and I feel strong enough to really do it and commit to it. The second arc has barely started but in my heart I’ve made peace with the ending, whatever it might actually result as. 

Plus if I finish it and its so bad, I’m sure that will be inspiring in itself! People might actually write fanfics!! I think a lot of readers are NOT going to enjoy the ships, for one. The MEAN greedy part of me hopes they don’t. That’s the most ruthless part of my writing to me is the ship choices. Oh! My evil mind. I mean theres no possible way to please everyone, or even myself, but there is a possible way to displease a lot of people. Including myself. So that’s kind of the route I find myself drawn to. Why? Because it gets me out of the hole of like.. I dunno, being stuck. 

I used to write out a lot of big posts but over the years, I’ve kinda stopped. Mostly bc they were honestly really repetitive..or about lore that didn’t truly matter too much… That hasn’t really changed. This post is more or less “im still working on it, everyone! Just hang tight! Wow it’ll be a crazy wild ride” but it also is something I wanted to write to myself as words of encouragement. This has been a tough year. Like so tough that its hard to think about. But its very nice to feel like, i guess, my drive for my stories hasn’t gone anywhere. If anything, i really feel like i’ve gone through the mourning and ego death of “not being able to write a thing how you want” and now I’ve made total peace with it. Its just gonna be what it is, and I like that actually. When my life is tough, my comics at the moment serve as a place of hope for me - and assurance that I can survive through tough years. That’s the message they have ultimately given me, finished or not. And… I honestly don’t think of FFAK or NRD as my masterpieces or anything, but i know they might very well be the only stories people will know of when they think of me. If they think of me! So I wanna do a complete job with those. Rest assured, it’ll get there. I cant make big promises about all the comics I work on… even the bonus comics for FFAK, but at least those main two are my main priorities. That has not changed. THE FIRE is still in me. Even if FFAK took a like.. Mental.. 5 year hiatus its back baby. 

I’m about 30 pages in to my 50 page script for chapter 16, so I guess it’ll be around 300-400 pages more before its done. Things are picking up speed! So it could be less. I am also preparing for the monster that is the 7th nasty red dogs chapter. I cannot stress ENOUGH that this next chapter, I have put off since chapter 4. Yes, I’ve actually buffed the story out to be longer than it intended, just to avoid drawing it. I even put a horse guy in there, I never draw horses because those ALSO have legs but they’re worse than dog legs. And, its not that i didn’t want to draw this part of the comic! But I didn’t think i could do it. It intimidated me. It still does, but, I’m gonna do it already. I know chapters 8-10 will be hard too but like…eh… I know in my heart its gonna really be about 7 for me. It always has been about 7 to me.. 2024 will be a big year for my comics for sure, just because of that alone I think. Not only will I have chapter 16 done, as the first step of the 2nd arc and a new adventure of my apocalyptic wormy drama, I’ll be facing my fears of the dog variety. Its TIME. 

I’m so happy people have stuck around for my work, or shared it with others, even if they’re a strange mess. Its interesting to see, who comes and goes. I still enjoy refreshing my comments every morning when I wake up, and right before I go to bed. Its comforting.

My closing thoughts on this. I don’t HATE the ending of FFAK. I… like it! Its an ending. But I LOVE the ending to NRD. i think that ones legit good, i hope. With FFAK, part of me kinda hopes that turning up the pressure on myself of proceeding anyway will help the story. I don’t really know, or expect the ending to change though LOL…. Maybe i’ll come up with something better, but it will be too late so I cant do it or something, and then we can ALL write fanfics together of something else. Then sometimes I think about GUNNM and how the first ending was retconned but then last order was like? Basically the first ending again? I dont know actually, its hard to remember. THATS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN BTW. Also the ending is not everyone dies, even though that ending is fun and tempting. I didn’t do it, because end of evangelion already exists and its got a great song to go along with it too. YES it is also tempting to have someone go “WELL That was A FEAST.. For a KING” as the like final line, but I.. it wont wont. I prommy i take the ending seriously.

The reason I wanted to write all this, with webcomics, I think in general too people are so scared about writing their big comics that take 328523895235 years and the ending being bad. I see so many webcomics just, kinda die before the finale.. Which I totally understand, But I just.. Wanna show everyone that its much better and much more satisfying to just write the ending even if its a fucking disaster LOL. Because ultimately, its a webcomic. I don’t even know how to spell but people read mine! And so.. If theres anything I feel like i can promise and deliver to the world of the internet/my readers, is this big fucking disaster mess.. But it will end someday! And I’ll miss it. I hope readers will too, when that day comes (?) in probably another… 10 years…. idk.... BUT UNTIL THEN.. I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of chapter 16!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Kosmic Dream

[thekingofwinterblog]

So just something I noticed about spirit, which might give an insight into his and Maka's mother's relationship, and timeline.

This is the only picture we have of Maka's mother as her and Spirit are telling Maka about the legends of Fire Force... I haven't actually read it, so i have no idea what those might be, but what i find interesting is how spirit looks so... Young, while his wife does not.

Like Spirit had maka while he was 18 years of age, so he cant be more than 20 at most here, but he looks like a teenager, while his wife despite being smaller, looks like she's in her early thirties.

Where am i going with this?

Well, in this flashback we see the dynamic the previous generation had while still at school... And notice that Spirit looks barely younger while flirting with this random lady, than he did after having Maka.

Now, for obvious reasons this doesnt mean that this scene is set before he and his ex-wife hooked up, but it's not hard to imagine that there likely was a period in Spirit's life where he tried to clean his act up, given that his wife actually agreed to marry him.

Meanwhile, this flashback to an earlier point than that gives us one of our only direct looks into how Spirit and Stein functioned as partners.

Their dynamic isnt as important as the ages here. This is clearly taken from their first year or so, and Spirit looks like a 12 year old who's hit a growth spurt, but not matured at all elsevise.

With all of this in mind, and with what we know of Spirit and his wife's school years, what can we figure out?

We know Spirit and Stein was partners, all the way until Maka's mother, while still a student discovered Stein's experiments, upon which Spirit was transfered into her care.

Why is this important? Because 1. It seems likely that all of the drama around this likely happened in their last year of school.

In other words, Maka was probably concieved while spirit and his wife was still in school.

If that is true, it likely means maka was not a planned child, and that one of the reasons why Maka's mother thought Spirit could clean up his act, was that he was still barely not schoolboy anymore when they hooked up.

In other words, while naive on her part, it was a possibility. Plenty of teenagers do leave behind their childish ways upon leaving school.

However, there is one final bit of info i havent covered yet.

We know there was a time period when the Albarns were happy together, or at least they were from Little Maka's perspective.

However, there is one little detail from these pictures from happier days that shines a final light on how things unfolded.

Spirit is not wearing his work attire. That means that at this point, he is likely not yet a death scythe, or at the very least, he is not THE death scythe.

When we get Flashbacks to Maka spying on Spirit as he's committing infidelity, Maka and spirit are both a bit older, but Spirit also has adopted his current work attire, meaning that at this point, he's become Shinigami's weapon... And that gives a very different picture of how things unfolded.

Because it means that when Spirit was still with his wife, as not just her husband, but her partner, he probably remained true to her, and was a dad Maka admired... It was when that stopped, and he no longer saw her every day, as their work took them in different directions, that Spirit fell back to his old ways, and began cheating on her. It's a thing that actually happens a depressingly lot in reality, when couples grow physically separated due to job developments, and one begins to cheat on the other.

If so it adds some very much needed context to why Maka's mother left Death City and her job as a meister behind so decisively without any further contact.

We know that she was a meister with the skills and determination to see Spirit's journey to a death scythe through to the finish... And the only thing she got out of it, was Shinigami taking her husband away from her, him then falling back into his old ways, and then years of an unhappy marriage, and finally all that remained of her happy teenage dream was the remains of a broken life. That was her reward for suceeding in doing her job to the fullest of her abilities.

No wonder she is bitter, not just at Spirit, but the entire system, and especially her old boss.

[lazulian-devil]

"Into the Frayed" Project

Im making a little masterpost for my audio drama WIP, which will allow me to conveniently send you where you need to be sent if you're interested in it.

Here are all posts I've ever tagged with "Into the frayed". And here are all the ones that relate specifically to the production process. Theres also the gods, if you want to look at the worldbuilding.

Whats "Into the Frayed"?

Into the Frayed is a fantasy audio drama, told via letters. It happens in my fictional world of Valfern (Val coming from the german word "Wall" meaning wall or fence, Fern coming from the german word for far, in the distance, or yonder). If you wanna know how to say that properly, google how someone would say Walküre (thats Valykrie) in german. The "fern" is honestly fairgame because I say whatever feels best. Sometimes more german, sometimes more english. Go bonkers.

Valfern is a world in which magic isnt perceived as positive, instead being a corrupting and malevolent force. Unfortunately, magic doesnt care much about its public perception and therefore sinks its teeth into many a thing, including people. These people are called "Jinxes" and generally ostracised. Theres a whole lot more to it (old gods and new gods and a surprising amount of plant research) but thats the gist :p

Our protagonist is Vaughn, a person (because I havent cast any voices yet, they could be any gender) who is slowly developing into a Jinx and needs to run away from their village to save themselves. They take this journey together with a Ravensworth (thats a fancy title for a mercenary) and write letters to their last ally among wolves: Franzis, their childhood friend. Vaughns goal is to make it beyond Sentinel, the city at the mountains border. Its a known story that the people beyond dont view Jinxes as Jinxes and if they just make it that far, they would be fine.

So only one question remains: Will they make it?

So, what now?

I'm working on finishing a "Proof of concept" episode, that has the first exchange between Vaughn and Franzis and is about... 5 letters aka 10-15 long? If that works out and I like it and enjoy making it, I have enough of a plot outline to script a small seasons worth of content (no more than 90 minutes total, because of sanity).

I did plot out the entire storyline and the supporting cast, but one needs to start small and grow steadily instead of burning once and brightly.

Anyways. I hope this gives you some insight into what I'm doing. If you have any questions, do ask. Especially world building questions.

Otherwise, I'll just start word vomiting all my research in small tidbits into my Tumblr.

Bye :)

[jordiestardust]

steve harrington x fem (implied) reader, college au, part 1 <3

summary: you’ve never really been fond of steve harrington. but your best friend is his roommate and theyre hitting it off pretty good, so you just might have to see him every day for the next four years. so maybe making him slightly more tolerable wouldnt hurt..

The books weighed heavy in my arms as i stood outside of the crappy off campus apartment my best friend now lives in. Sure, i havent been inside yet, but knowing Eddie, i was 1000% sure that it was some sort of fucked up. I had knocked a few seconds ago, and behind the door i could hear Eddie tripping over shit in his journey to let me in.

“Hellooo, M’lady.” He smiled brightly, taking the top half of my book load, and letting me into the dorm.

“Stop calling me that, asshole.” I snorted, closing the door behind me with a bump of my hip.

“Nope. Not until you finally decide to visit me for a reason other than making me study. We havent even started classes yet, you freak” He chuckled, making his way into the small kitchen area for a what i thought was a beer. Until he pulled two of like 13 juice boxes out of the small fridge.

“Its that.. Is that a juice box, Edward?” “Okay i can explain. My roommate is totally the party animal type, so all my good stuff stays in my room. Actually I think you might, oh i dont know, i think you might know him.” He shrugged, smirking and handing me my juicebox.

“Doubt it, never left Hawkins in my whole life. Now enough bull, I need to finish making my flashcards before classes start, which one is your room?” I said, looking through the doors to find the messier of the two.

“Y/N, Honey, thats not-“ Eddie tried to help, but I was determined to start the stupid flashcards. Until I found out who his goddamn roommate was.

“Your roommate is Steve Harrington?” I looked up at Eddie, who was now leaning against the doorframe, looking at me smugly.

“His roommate is Steve Harrington. Nice to see you four eyes. Someone grew over the summer, lost the glasses too, I see?” He smirked, placing the box in his arms labeled “hair shit” on his bed carefully.

“Im nineteen years old, dickhead. I dont grow anymore, and yes I lost the glasses. Eddie please show me to your room, I would like to start my flashcards”

“Shes still like this? Come on Y/n/n, loosen up a little I mean you got out of Hawkins. Its time for you to learn that life isnt all about having your nose in a book.” He said, leading you and Eddie into the living room as he spoke.

“Aw ive been upgraded from four eyes. Im flattered. And Harrington, youre only here because your daddy has money, so its not like youve ever needed to have your nose in a book.” Before Steve could shoot back, Eddie started speaking.

“Okay so now might not be the best time to mention this, but we are kinda trying to plan a movie night right now. So if you arent going to help, I do recommend going to get your roommate.” He asked, eyebrows raised in amusement, as him and Steve silently agreed over tape choices.

“How the hell did you drag Robin into this already Harrington?” I asked, throwing myself onto their slightly uncomfortable couch.

“What do you mean?,” He smirked, “Buckleys my best friend. She is also on snack duty, so if you decided not to stay, be a doll and tell her to hurry up, would you?”He said, leaving the area to go back to his room for more tapes. I groaned loudly, as Eddie aggressively took a seat next to me.

“You knew, and still let me come over? I hate you so much right now, Munson.” I said, laying my head on his shoulder, his crazy hair falling over my eye’s slightly.

“I know, but Harrintons not as bad as he used to be. I promise, M’lady” I could hear the amusement in his voice as he said that. The two of us just sat there in silence for a bit, until Steve came back, and assigned me to ‘decorate the shitty couch duty’.

“I have homework you know, Steve.” I said, snatching the stack of blankets from him. I couldnt see at the time, but Eddie had literally just walked out of the door.

“And I have a movie night to finish planning.” He stated plainly. Something about him and his indifference towards college was really frustrating. But I guess it was to be expected. Hes Steve Harrington.

“You know, former four eyes,” you rolled your eyes at the new nickname, “Im not going anywhere. Youre going to have to get used to me.” He said, placing the stack of tapes planned for later on the Tv stand.

“Youd be much more tolerable if you werent such a.. A you. You party until three in the morning, and dont care if someone ralphs on your lawn. You dont study, you charm your way into passing grades. And we still ended up in the same school. Theres no getting used to that.”

“Well you know, coexisting with you isnt making my life all sunshine and rainbows either. You study, and you study and you study. You get amazing grades, without having to wink at 100 year old teachers. Your friends like you for.. you, not your parents money. So id say its gonna take a while for me to get used to you too.” We were standing in a very awkward silence now, neither caring if Eddie was standing behind either one of us, and if he was its not like we’d notice.

“I have an idea.” I said. I can’t believe youre doing this Y/n. “You dont like that im smarter than you, right? What if.. What if I helped you study?” I could tell he was skeptical, and so was I. I didnt know what hell i was getting myself into then.

“Whats in it for me?” He said, bending down in front of the couch to start moving the equally shitty coffee table.

“You get to teach me how to have a good time,” Seeing the look on his face I felt the need to elaborate. Loudly, “NOT THAT WAY. I mean you can, take me out on the town or whatever it is you do. Bowling, drinking, dancing, whatever the hell it is you deem fun.” Now he was smiling and I couldnt tell if it was a smile that should make me embarrassed and run full speed, and probably trip, out of the apartment.

“Okay. But, i get to pick where I take you and when. You can pick what we study I guess. Hey maybe that stick thats been up your ass for the last nineteen years will finally disappear.”

“Haha, very funny Steve. Im being serious though. You teach me to not be a prick, I make you less of an absolute dumbass, and hope it makes you more tolerable.” I absolutely could not believe id even offer to do something like this, but there was no way in hell id spend the next four years hating his guts. Im with Eddie 25/8 and apparently hes tight with Robin. Hating Steve would fuck everything up. Which is why i wasn’t entirely suprised when he said,

“Okay. But only because id pay good money to see you consume alcohal, Y/n/n.” He said, a somewhat serious, and very rare, look on his face.

“Cool. Cool cool cool. So you think we should like.. plan it? Or is not planning things part of the Steve Harrington Slutty Popular Rich Kid experience?” I asked, as began to turn the coffee table around to make a little snack stand. Creative.

“Oh it’s definitely part of the experience. But planning might help, hows after the movie sound?”

“I have to study after the movie, Steve. Im already moving it back because of your spontaneous attack movie night. “

“So after the movie? Perfect”

A/N: posting is literally so inconsistent but i have like a total of 45 minutes of free time every day- but once i get my schedule n stuff down ill def post more😍🤞 so p2 prob coming soon! if u have ideas for this mini series dm me im so uncreative rn💀

[purpletyrant]

re: kittys imaginary sburb session

or, "this mspfa has been tagged as 'nonsburb' for years, these are all the scraps youre getting so let me just overexplain them now in a post that would be better suited for patreon if a KITTYQUEST patreon was something i was remotely interested in maintaining"

now, i know what youre thinking: didnt KITTYQUEST just get its climactic upd8 featuring major character death and a huge mood shift? shouldnt you be talking about that??

well, sure, maybe ill do that someday in the hypothetical KITTYQUEST retrospective video i have floating around in my head. it took long enough to finish - two and a half months, that is. but this panel alone required me to take a ton of personality quizzes while roleplaying as each one of kittys friends, so god damn it im going to analyze all of this right now. read below the cut to learn all about how kitty and her friends (and cousin) would disastrously fail in a doomed sburb session that was never meant to happen

in the most recent upd8, kitty explores the shell of a dream bubble that hasnt been taken in by the black hole yet. this black hole is the one caused by the collapse of the green sun, with lord english at its center. the black hole is devouring everything, as ramona? explains, including the furthest ring, every universe created by sburbs many sessions, and the entirety of paradox space. its an awfully long process, and kittys earth c that we know and love isnt in any imminent danger, but ramona? indicates that many alternative timelines are meeting their end as we speak. in the epilogues, the black hole deposits its garbage onto earth c. in KITTYQUEST, we know as much about where the black hole ends as we do in real life. personally, i view it more as like a Big Crunch. the opposite of the Big Bang, where quadrillions of years from now the last atom of the last molecule will be erased. take from that what you will - KITTYQUEST has never been a story that is interested in grand cosmic abstract ideas. its priorities are much more pedestrian and intimate. who cares about the ultimate fate of the universe when these middle schoolers over here are feeling kinda sad?

ramona? is the vergil to kittys dante, taking her on a journey through hell as kitty processes the traumatic deaths of her parents. a dream bubhell, if you will, the contents of this dream bubble merge the familiar with the imaginary. we see pieces of scenes we recognize from homestuck, but new scenes are introduced as well. most notably is the land kitty wakes up in - the Land of Unicorns and Fractals, a vaporwave dreamscape torn straight from her sburban account. someone once asked why kittys planet isnt a land of Frogs since shes a self-assigned Space player. well, sburban is an mmo. thousands of players cooperate in a massive medium, so not every Space player needs a Forge. but really, this was foreshadowing that kitty is pretending to be a Space player. she wants to be a Rogue of Space because it makes her feel more equal to her parents. but she isnt one, and the name of her land gives it away very early. in addition to LOUAF, we see illusions of ramonas planet, the Land of Wax and Altars, and the lands and god tier forms of her ghostly friends. neither kitty nor ramona? react to these illusions, suggesting that only we the viewer can see them. like ramona?, the reality of them is nebulous. its more likely that they are not real ghosts, but illusions created by the somehow still-functioning mechanics of the dream bubble. like memories of lusii and loving parents, these projections are not real. or perhaps they used to be real - and they are remnants of an alternative timeline doomed from the start

kitty will never play sburb, and she isnt meant to. sburb will only be played on earth c once, by caliborn a billion years from now. anything else goes against the continuity established by homestuck. as such, a session played by these kids will never succeed. but what if the cult of the witch planned better? what if they werent all bark and no bite? what if kitty was thrust into sburb properly, and what if the cult cared enough about her friends and family to ensure she had other players? this is the result we would get. lets take a closer look

Nat Eglish | Sylph of Space | Prospit Land of Dust and Frogs Denizen: Echidna

yeah you heard me right, nat stole kanayas classpect right out from under her. what gives, isnt her family historically tied to the heir of breath? well, take it up with the quizzes that diagnosed her with kanaya disease. i dont know how to classpect, you want me to do it MYSELF? get real. besides, it figures that someone linked to june through her ancestor would be a space player

nat is a go-getter, her mix of interest in both STEM and the arts makes her a formidable student and an excellent sburb player. shes the perfect candidate for the frog breeding task, because even though its a little more organic than the science shes used to, shes great at planning things out and being organized about it. LODAF is a planet originally covered in desert. its frogs are in a fossilized/mummified state. the LODAF we see in this upd8 has been overtaken with ocean and lilypads, indicating that she was successful in terraforming her planet and initiating the frog breeding process. great job nat, we never doubted you for a second. i wonder what her interaction with echidna was like? nat is a pretty easy going individual who steers clear of drama, so maybe she and her denizen were able to strike a deal. why kill a giant snake when you can work together?

nat spends a lot of her early session trying to spur her friends into action. as we will come to find out, the welfare of the other planets is directly tied to her own. so nat is tasked with being the one in the group project who reminds everyone to do their own parts of the assignment. this is hard for nat because she is so laidback by nature. being pushy isnt her thing - she likes to be perceived as cool headed. if her friends dont get it together, nat will risk having to crack her knuckles and start laying down the law

as a space player, her helper is the knight in the session, who loves to be helpful more than anything else. you know him, you love him, its....

Nornsa Moirai | Knight of Life | Prospit Land of Bleach and Coral Denizen: Charybdis

have you ever met a girl more suited to be a knight than nornsa? as the knight of life, nornsa is the unofficial/official sidekick of nat as she runs around turning frogs into slime. he may not be a time player, but he tries his best

much of nornsas performance in sburb is going to depend on whether his family comes with him. hes fiercely protective of his twin sisters, and raises them perhaps more than their perpetually busy father does. if all three come with him, nornsa will likely be too distracted with ensuring their welfare to properly undertake the duties required of him. keeping them safe competes with killing underlings, completing his planets quest, and helping out nat. he would no doubt be stretched to his breaking point. on the other hand, being separated from them isnt much better. though he isnt being held back by the needs of his family, nornsa centers his identify around his ability to help other people, especially his family. the crushing guilt of leaving them behind - perhaps to certain doom - prevents him from performing at 100%. he may fail to live up to his friends expectations, prompting a similar nervous breakdown. there arent many sunny sburb outcomes for nornsa as someone who doesnt live for himself, and this is reflected by his planet

LOBAC is a dead planet covered in bleached coral. nornsas task is to revitalize it for the consorts, who will surely die if the reefs are not restored. moreover, the water from this rejuvenated planet will be necessary in terraforming LODAF, so nat relies on nornsa to complete his quest to complete her own. nornsas planet in this upd8 is restored to full color, which is natural since nats planet is also in full health. the process of revitalizing LOBAC likely involves themes of making sacrifices and being selfish. in other words, nornsa has to make some tough choices to make himself happy. he has to learn how to prioritize what he needs instead of conflating his sense of worth with what he can do for others. ironically, though, once he makes this breakthrough and finishes his quest, his success immediately benefits nat rather than just himself

Capable Greenhorn | Rogue of Light | Derse (you heard me) Land of Chess and Towers Denizen: n/a, later revealed to be Cetus

cg is a slippery creature who defies me whenever i try to get a good idea of who they are. first a hope player (buzzer error noise) and then a mind player, cg finally settled on being a light guy, which i think suits them. cg keeps their cards close to their chest. as a resident of a chessling dormitory, they know how to live communally. they certainly enjoy their alone time, but they are more familiar with being part of a unit rather than an individual. this is all to say that cg is a great sburb hopeful, studious, team-oriented, observant, and slow to act if they arent certain what path to take. theyre very deliberate, and in a sburb session i think theyre easily the brains of the operation. the problem is that theyre... well, a carapacian!

how does sburb deal with a player whos a member of its designated npc species? is it capable of treating that carapacian as an autonomous being? it appears as though it cannot, because LOCAT is a mishmash of skaia, prospit, and derse. little of cgs actual personality shines through, which im sure is frustrating for them. cg is not a person who often experiences the spotlight or special recognition, and being shunted to the side by sburb is demoralizing to them. the only pro to this situation is that LOCAT is able to serve as a teleportation/save point for cg and their fellow players. from the towers rising from its chessboard, players can easily move around without needing to go to sleep or use sburbs other portals. this is perhaps how the water from LOBAC was able to be transferred to LODAF

cgs sburb journey involves finding out who they are as an individual. being cut off from their dormitory siblings is like losing a limb or one of their senses. not only that, but theyre also a derse dreamer - despite being a prospitian. dreaming is dangerous and scary for them, and they have trouble coping with the old carapacian culture that rules the dreaming moons. they dont belong anywhere - prospit will not accept them, derse even less so, and their friends just dont understand. often sleep deprived from the danger of sleeping (i think its also highly likely their dream self would be assassinated), cg struggles to complete their planets quest. at the end though, cg will be delighted to receive the quests reward. LOCATs chessboard will overturn to reveal its true form - a planet that actually reflects who cg understands themself to be. just as carapacians will change their name to signify a new stage of their life, LOCAT will bear a new name as well - the Land of Cathedrals and Turrets

Malibu Tempra | Thief of Heart | Derse Land of Tech and Smog Denizen: Lamia

even before malibu got diagnosed with thief disorder, i knew it was coming. just as nornsa is a knight through and through, malibu cannot beat the thief allegations. she also cant escape being a heart player. trust me, i tried to make someone in this cast be a time player. she just wasnt having it, so i let her be whatever she wants

malibus land is riddled with neon segmented lines reminiscent of a motherboard. its bisected by a neon seam that keeps it together, and at its south pole is a giant mechanism coughing up smog in the colors of malibus psiionics, giving it the appearance of a giant spherical spaceship. its a cyberpunk nightmare, dystopian and colorful and loud. being held back by something loud and colorful is nothing new to malibu, as someone who has a strained relationship with her high-maintenance lusus. malibu is a lot of things. shes edgy and brash and quick to anger, but shes also quite sensitive. she hates feeling forgetten or useless, leading her to put too many eggs in her basket sometimes. this is the same girl who wants to go to both fashion school and a batterization academy - lets pick our battles, malibu. though shes whip-smart and fearless, shes easily discouraged. accomplishing her planets quest will be difficult for her, should she choose to see it through at all. 50/50 on whether she attempts it just because everybody else is doing theirs and she wants to fit in, or ignores it in favor of leveling up and getting that tiger (do the kids in the fandom these days know about 'got tiger'?)

her quest, should she choose to accept it, is clearing the pollution from the pipes in the planets center. like the bleached coral threatening nornsas land, the smog that gives LOTAS its name is a potential killer. previously, i suggested that LOCAT is the planet that helps water flow from LOBAC to LODAF. i think its just as likely that the mechanisms running through LOTAS allow for the same action. the planet itself may have to move across the medium to deliver water to LODAF, and a smog-coughing pollution-riddled land is no good at this task. if this is the case, malibu will have no choice but to put aside her own rash desires and put some serious thought into solving her quest. if not, nornsa and nat can always pass the ocean between their planets bucket by bucket through the towers on LOCAT

our next two players need no introduction. lets start with:

Ramona Flamel | Seer of Hope | Derse Land of Wax and Altars Denizen: Medusa

engulfing ramonas planet is a sea of hot, red wax. it would be more evocative of blood if ramona were human, but nonetheless it evokes a gloom all the same. from pockets in the wax, great columns of smoke rise in a haze that covers the planet. the experience of being on LOWAA is like walking into a church that has been burning too much incense. its consorts are in perpetual mourning - when ramona arrives in the medium, the flame at the heart of her land has been extinguished. the rising smoke from the sea tells us much the same, and LOWAA is at risk of hardening over if ramona cannot reignite the flame. the sea will solidify, and the consorts way of life will be forever altered. you could say this planet is experiencing a flame-L. anyway,

even if ramona didnt have enough mommy issues to level a city block, there is still the looming problem of her chronic illness. TPP is the specter that haunts every aspect of her daily life, and ramona is well aware that on alternia, she would meet a swift and early death because of it. remaining in a state of physiological stagnation is her reality for many years, a neverending nightmare of being trapped in a body that she cannot use to communicate her needs or defend herself. her majority human family cannot understand her, merely chalking up her many medically-excused absences from events as unfortunate but expected. her quest on LOWAA will force ramona to grapple with the trauma she has endured throughout her life due to TPP. living on borrowed time is a major theme of her session. the idea of achieving god tier and potentially curing herself intrigues her, especially since she has a limited amount of her medication left. but this goal competes with the time-sensitive task of reigniting the flame at LOWAAs center. save herself, or save the consorts? or could she save both? her abilities as a seer of hope will certainly aid her, but ultimately ramona will have to do the unthinkable to complete both of these tasks at once: she will have to ask for help. what the fuck, am i right? is that allowed?

i quite like the idea of all the lands in this session interacting with one another. if ramona succeeds in lighting the flame and saving her planet, perhaps the heat will be key to clearing the smog from LOTAS. what do i know? maybe thats how pollution works in sburb. perhaps the cause of the smog is the smoky breath of malibus denizen, lamia, who is curled up inside the center of the planet. the flame would be a great way to scare her off and clear out the pipes

and finally, the girl of the hour,

Kitty Harley-Leider | Mage of Rage | Prospit Land of Unicorns and Fractals Denizen: Chimera

many old homestuck analyses will point out that the lands of the beta kids are seemingly opposite to how the kids outwardly present themselves. im not sure if i 100% buy this, but kittys land definitely breaks this rule. LOUAF is a perfect depiction of how kitty presents herself in the beginning of KITTYQUEST. cutesy and loveable and pastel, this planet is covered in cotton candy clouds (literally, i used cotton candy as an overlay for this lands clouds) and is populated by starry unicorns and alicorns. these creatures play a similar role to the angels on eridans land - they are not consorts, but something else entirely

i dont have to tell you that kitty is... kind of a mean girl. how aware she is of this fact is up for debate, but kittys saccharine facade that she puts on for her doting family is just that - a facade. kitty is not a bad person by any stretch of the imagination, but she has lived a very privileged life. she is denied nothing, doted upon by all who know her, and has been fed the narrative that she is special and precious. i am not entirely sure the extent to which kitty uses her latent rage powers to her advantage when it comes to manipulating her loved ones - or if shes even aware shes doing it - but regardless, kitty is a girl who knows how to keep an act going. whether its pretending to her school friends that shes a normal kid like them, or pretending to her family (sans ramona) that she is a perfectly innocent "CINNAMON ROLL," shes no stranger to the idea that looks can be deceiving. the same is true for LOUAF

kitty will find out the hard way that the uni/alicorns of LOUAF are plaguing it. theyre mean to the bone - they bite, they buck, they kick, and theyve chased the consorts out to sea. she doesnt want to consider that something so pretty could be so dangerous, shes got a unicorn on her shirt for godssake. but despite how bright and colorful LOUAF is, its arid and desolate. the unicorns have eaten all the vegetation, and the land has become a desert. the remaining life is below the sea, where the consorts have grudgingly adapted. the activity underwater produces fractals across the waters surface, giving the land its crystalline appearance. even so, the unicorns are getting antsy with a dwindling food supply, and may take to plucking the consorts out of the sea to eat. kittys quest (heehaw) will be to accept the nature of the darling creatures she loves so much, reclaiming LOUAF for the consorts and earning the approval of the denizen. the consorts, once they repopulate their old home, will thank kitty by giving her the solution to ramonas quest: the remains of the unicorns can be used to stoke the flame in her planet. something something magic something something miracles. the consorts of LOUAF are satisfied knowing theyre helping the consorts of LOWAA, whose lives are also being threatened in a different way

so we can see that all the lands are tied together:

unicorn infestation on LOUAF is exterminated > flame on LOWAA is rekindled > smog on LOTAS is cleared > LOTAS can be used as vessel to carry water from LOBAC to LODAF > LODAF is restored and frog breeding can begin. and LOCAT is the save point and backup to LOTAS

why cant this session work out? well, we have already established that it goes against canon. sburb cannot be played on earth c, not yet at least. though everything fits together decently well here, this session is missing a crucial component. it does not have a time player. there is no equivalent to the beat mesa, no way to initiate a scratch, and no time player to fix fatal errors. not that a scratch would help anyway, because none of these kids were made with ectobiology save for cg. it is simply a nice hypothetical to think about, and a compromise for the folks out there who really, really wanted KITTYQUEST to be a sburb mspfa. sorry! hope this is enough for you

this was an awful lot of words and took a few hours to type. thanks if you read it! i hope the most recent upd8 wasnt too confusing. if it was, just read it a couple more times? our psychopomp ramona? is trying really hard to make the dream bubhell make sense to you

[inhumanevoid]

HEAR ME OUT OK HEAR. ME. OUT.

so post ep14/ post cannon right. Kinn kills Korn somehow and they get Nampheung help. Chay and Kim talk and begin their journey of healing. they arent dating just yet but Kim leaves no chance empty to show Chay he wants to cherish him for life. Porsche is still the head of the Minor family but convinces Kinn to give Vegas another chance and shares power w him.

Vegas has a hard time accepting that people genuinely want understand him and hear him out after years of Kan's toxic parenting, but Pete gently guides him through it.

Now Kinn has a habit of ending his calls to Porsche, Khun, Kim and Chay with "love you, bye."

SO what if one day kinn is on a call with Vegas, to finalize some final details of a deal, he ends the call with "alright. love you, bye." and just ends the calls. Hearing those words, Vegas is in shock. he doesnt move even an inch from his office. which is where Pete finds him late into the evening, after looking for him for a long time. Hes. very worried about Vegas having had a panic attack, or a flashback of a bad experience and Pete not being there to help him thru it. hes truing to coax Vegas out of his chair when he hears him whisper," he said 'love you'." Pete doesn't know what to make of those words but tries to get Vegas to talk. he notices Vegas has his phone cluthed tightly in his hands and wonders if something happened on a call. So he gently pries the phone away, and checks the recent calls. He finds that only kinn has called in the past 2 hours.

So Pete does the next most logical thing, after getting Vegas to get up, drink some water and eat; and calls Porsche. "Hey! sorry im calling this late but i kinda had something to ask you." "Do you know if anything happened between khu- between Kinn And Vegas today. i saw they had a conversation but Vegas is acting really weird right now and i wanted to ask if you knew anything".

Pete gets a call early afternoon the next day. its Porsche. he investigated the situation and found some very interesting things. things that warmed Pete's heart so much, he physically couldn't stop smiling.

Porsche ends the his call with Pete after reassuring him that he WILL find out of anything happened. so he leaves the garage where he was cleaning his Kawasaki, and heads up to his and kinns bedroom. he cleans up, calls for Mia, Kinn's scheduling assistant, and finds out kinns still holed up in his office looking over some proposals sent by their business partners.

So he heads down to their (unnecessarily) huge kitchen, makes Kinn some chamomile tea and saunters his way up to said office. he finds kinn is the very position he expected him to find. his suit jacket flung over the back of a couch, sleeves of his shirt rolled up, hands resting on his desk, hunched over a couple of files. Porsche sets down the tea on the small coffee table, guides Kinn away from those paper. promising he could go back the minute he finished the tea and settles down beside Kinn on the couch.

he starts the conversation very casually, asking kinn about work, deals, shipping, bodyguard training and then slips in a question about the calls v vegas. "how'd your call with Vegas go?" Kinn doesn't seem to think much of the question. "Oh it was fine. we're getting that weapons deal with the organization in Korea. Mr. Cassano himself will be present for finalization." Porsche thinks Kinn wont say anything he thinks isnt important. so he lets kinn go back to him files and paper. they both had a day off tomorrow. he would get all the information he needed then.

and so the next day, when laying in bed cuddling, watch the sunrise and just basking in each other's presence, Porsche asks kin about the call with Vegas again. tells him Pete's concern. Kin himself doesnt get it at first. it takes him an entire narration of the conversation, word to word, to realize what he said. Porsche fears kinn might try to deflect from it. call its a mistake. say it was habit and it will never happen again. and Kinn does say it was habit. he admits to not realizing he said it to Vegas too. but what Porsche doesnt expect him to admit is when Kinn says he might mean it some way. thats he mightve been trained, literally, to hate Vegas ever since he started his training as the heir apparent, he clearly remembers the time he spent with his siblings and cousins as kids. all the pranks on Tankhun, cooing over Macau, teaching Kim to ride a bike, fighting over who to sleep beside Macau, cuddling with Khun, eating aunty Vera's pastries and cakes. kinn admits to finding himself wishing those days never left. wishing they didnt have to hold a gun to each others back. wishing they could go back to their fights being on whether they go to the park or to eat.

and Porsche finds himself ache. For Kinn, for Vegas, for all the Theerapanyakul Kids. and especially for all the love lost. he wishes he could wipe it all away but he knows the only thing he can do now is to make sure no one is left alone hereon. his emotions bleed into his voice when he calls pete later. he knows pete feels the same. he knows theyve all embarked on the very slow journey towards healing and acceptance.

ahahahahahahaha hello everyone ^_^. Welcome to another brainrot/headcanon.

this was "ending the call with 'love you,bye' and not realizing it whilst the other party is about to explode because they dont know what to make of if" but make it KinnPorsche.

sorry for weird ending, i didn't know what else to do.

please please pretty please tell me your thoughts? :(

[melissa-titanium]

SCUG HEAD CANOSN jsutbecause iknow ill never draw them all

(warnijng. LONG ASS POST)

FOR 1. SIZE CHART BABY

monk < survivor < arti = rivulet < spearmaster = saint < hunter = gourmand!

survivor: a little on the skinny side, inbetween artificer and monk. albino i think :) if not then has sort of snow leopard patterning. small eyes, taking after their mama (i . headcanon gourmand is monk and survivors parent if this is dis proven by canon im So sorry i havent finished the game yet)) triangle shapes mostly. quiet and cautious (they used to be curious, but the world didnt allow that) and always tense, prepared for a fight. desperate to find monk :(. journey < destination. glass half empty

monk: takes more after gourmand! orange tabby coloration (+ karma flower marking on back) if that makes sense. big round eyes (sort of like how scavs with big eyes r usually friendlier) and significantly healtheri than survivor ! (i think slugcats r sort of like seals, they hv a ton of bodyweight. though they can vary, gourmand is like a little over average scug size) circular mostly (round ears, round eyes, round body etc) kind and curious, sees good in the world but above all wants to find survivor. journey > destination. glass half full.

hunter: very big slugcat, almost unnaturally so. a little skinny cause having the rot is no good for your health :( i dont have many headcanosn for hunter but ithink they have poor sight , completely blind in their canonically scarred eye which i think it was overtaken by the rot. the reason they can hold spears isbecause they have tendrils of the rot growing out of their back and wrap the spears around if that makes sense. square shapes mostly. a bit stocky, more muscle than fat. quiet, stern, and rarely takes risks. a bit lethargic from the rot eating away at them. journey < destination. glass half full

gourmand: THE best rainworld character *THE BEST* i think aboutthem alll the time ohohoo o RUBS CLAWS TOGETHER IGOT A TON OF SHIT. ok ok so basically they r THE ultimate slugcat . u guys know that one post about gourmand having the power to throw spears with the strength of a missile being shot. i cant remember if that was the exact wording but YEAH that was my exact idea of them they are incredibly inventive and smart and STRONG AS FUCK. they throw spears with *three times damage* than the average amount and that s FUCKING insane they kill so many creatures in literally one single hit man you cannot tell me that isnt Ridiculous. like no wonder they get exhausted after that?? god DAMN??? i straight up forgot what i was writing about in this post ilove gourmand too much OH RIGHT HEADCANONS . well for one they r surv and monks parent . due to ahving explored pretty much every corner of the region, they know a significant amount of rain world's history, just by piecing it together themself! very wise, emotionally. very strong morals and very strong will! they are surprisingly humble despite their incredible feats, but arent afraid to show confidence when needed. they are a friendleader forreal, they definitely know every slugcat in their colony by heart and are always there to cheer you up when u r feeling downl. good slug,best friend. knows a TON about fighting, very good at paw 2 paw combat i bet theyd spar with the little ones for fun sometimes :). already mentioned this but they r very kind and generous To a fault. a very competent leader but they do tend to take on too many responsibilities! i think they maybe stopped doing this when idk one day a scug in the colony saw them pass out from overexerting themself or some shit and then everyone started to pitch in after that. they are very grateful and a little embarazed. also when they lost monk and survivor i think the whole colony stepped up for a while to help while they were grieving (dunno if they were in the colony while losing monk and survivor, maybe losing them was what motivated them to keep pups safe IDK bare with me)) i think theyd be the eldest or second eldest of all the slugcats . they try to be fun with kids and are INCREDIBLY protective, letting no threat get within 100 feet of someone they wish to protect. they have been EVERYWHERE imean fucking everywhere. almost photographic memory, stores so much knowledge in that jineeeeeeourmos brain of theirs. boisterous/charismatic, welcoming, kind, and above all (despite the odds!), very happy with life :) mostly square shapes but theres some circles thrown in. . journey >>> destination. glass half full

love this thang. the spug.

*ok* holy shit i got off track. anyways

artificer: surprisingly, an incredibly small slugcat. just over the average juvenile size (a little bit bigger than survivor, and smaller than pretty much everyone else.) incredibly thin. before losing their pups, they were significantly healthier and just generally happier. i think they always had their xsplodey shit but it was more like a snail, a loud pop of noise used by detonating their explosion fluid stuff to startle predators if that makes sense? but then after losing their pups and doing nothing but KILLING KILLING KILLING KILLING scavengers for cycles upon cycles, they neglected caring for themself - including eating. eventually, they became near spearmaster in size & were able to propel themself into the air with the blasts due to their near-nothing weight. most scugs groom themselves as to not have their short fur become overgrown and tangle, but due to artificer's l;ack of nutrients they probably dont have their fur grow alot (does that correlate? idk if eating -> fur growth BARE WITH ME) BUT. they have it grown just enough to tie spears to their back with it. its matted and tangled and is rock solid when you touch it. OH ALSO before losing their pups, they had light brown fur! but then it stained permanently with scavenger blood :) atleast in my hc haha. ALSO their scar isnt just over their eye it covers about half of the left side of their body, renderng them entirely blind and deaf in their left eye and ear. partially deaf in their right ear from all the EXPLOSIONS they hear all the time. covered and imeanCOV;ERED in scars, moreso than hunter. unhinged fucking CRAZYYYY other slugcats are scared shitless of them bt they have a soft spot for slugpups so they would hypothetically always try to remain semi-not-deranged when around one But they havnt met any without guardians yet bc i know theyd drop everything and adopt them (or maybe not, in fear of having past events repeat?). square and triangle shapes. journey <<< destination. glass half empty.

rivulet: :) FISH . GUB GUB GBU i think out of all the slugcats i know the least about them BUT i love them all the same :) they r the MOST fun ever to play as! they strongly resemble a seal! their ears r almost nonexistent + they hv very short limbs and loooong whiskers. fat as FUCK (normal slug size) and incredibly fast they dart around like a bullet! actually pretty big, a little bit shorter than spearmaster (who is around saints size and a little shorter than gourman) big round fucking eyes and Surprisingly super quiet? usually just Stares......they radiate such a jittery energy youd think theyd talk alot (if scugs could talk) but no not really :) my cat is drooling on my arm thought id let you guys know . OK back to this ! very helpful and outgoing, a *little* nosy but out of genuine curiosity, always up to the task no matter how daunting. charming in their sillyfunny gooberific way. im sorry i dont have a whole lot here i wish i knew more about them :(( mostly circular shapes with some triangles. journey = destination. glass half full

spearmaster: very tall and VERY thin slugcat. pretty much all of their bodyweight is stored in their tail and you can. imagine how that i;s ! a bit lethargic from prety much having NO nutrients at all.. but to make up for it theyre pretty speedy and flexible as hell, they can bend their bones pretty much to fit into small spaces. also INSANE reflexes. pretty plain everywhere except their tail, you can very much tell they were Created. i think they are a bit irritable, but otherwise peaceful. tends to have tunnel vision when they are tasked with something to do, and are always wiling to help (i think most purposed creatures share this trait) they are pretty smart but have really bad memory i think. ALL triangles. journey < destination. glass is filled with water, what else are they supposed to think?

saint: second tallest (only a LITTLE taller than spearmaster). fluffy, curly, braided-in-some-parts fur. they have a faaaabulous mustache and FAAAABULOUS eye lashes. pretty thin, surviving as a vegan in a snow-covered world is difficult. their tongue works more like a chameleon tongue ithink ifthat makes sense? like they cant control it it just FWIP flashes out and sticks to stuff with barbs on the end. i do not know NEARLY enough about saint to say a single thing about them But ilove them theyre awesome. composed of pretty much all the shapes, maybe some diamonds in there too though. geometrical lookingikd ifthat maekssen8JURDTHJURDTIH. completely neutral on journey/destination and completely neutral on glass half full/empty.

also, . consi;der. ., arti <3< saint. if you know you KNo;W;98JRSEY9J8SH5E

[n3ssier]

Hi! I just read your other works and their super good :o

I know that you have written about these so sry if ur tired of them. But can I request a kapkan and echo x female reader where they have a crush on her? And they not really confess but like kind of a "youre really cool" in their own language and super quietly, but jokes on them, reader speaks their native toungue, and begins flirting with them and they just turn into a tomato. Tysm!!

SORRY I TOOK LIKE 3 WEEKS TO RESPOND NGL I FORGOT I HAD REQUESTS😭😭🫶🫶 I HOPE YA LIKE IT, IM USING GOOGLE TRANSLATE SO THIS ISNT GONNA BE GREAT, also, requests are open again!! reblogs VERY appreciated, like i’ll give u a smooch fr fr

echo

much to your dismay, you and masaru's bond had been nothing more than a close friendship ever since the first mission you two had went on together, you spent time in the workshop, going out to small cafes near the base, and sharing your opinions which you felt were too blunt for the rest of rainbow together.

it was great and all, but you couldn't help but yearn to hold his hand when you two were headed anywhere, or to rest your head on his on the trip to your next missions. masaru being the lowkey inexpressive guy he is, he was giving you major mixed signals and you spent your nights stressing over what to do over this childish crush.

the clock read 22:17 and you were spending your night with masaru in the workshop, working on your gadgets together after a tiring mission.

his gun lay on the left side of the table while he attempted to fix a problem in his gadgets. you had finished everything you needed to do by now, and were just waiting on him to finish. you study his concentrated face as strands of his dark, nearly black hair fall forward and cover his forehead. boredom sinking in, you then tilt your head and take a look at your surroundings, shelves, saws, worn down work desks, and to your surprise, a little dumpling charm on your friends gun.

"awww, i never knew you had this on your gun" you chirped as your heart melts at the small addition to his equipment "it's so cute!!!" this causes masaru to turn his head over and see what on earth youre freaking out over, before turning back to his work and muttering something so hushed that you nearly miss it; “あなたも、あなたが知っている”😮. (you too, you know)

without really thinking, a response in the same language slips from your mouth; “なぜありがとう、私はあなたについて同じことが言えます” (why thank you, i could say the same about you) 🤭 masaru’s head snaps over to look at you, as you smile at him, not realising that he never thought you would understand. you admired him, feeling fuzzy as he stammered a “uhh n- no problem, never knew you spoke japanese.” awkward for him, but a dream come true for you!

kapkan

maxim isn't very talkative, he doesn't really see the point in chitchat, and he doesn't wanna make himself vulnerable in that way if ya get what i mean, and you know this, yet still put in the effort and managed to befriend him. it was difficult, of course, but it was worth it in the end when you got to uncover the sweet man he really is.

he could be cold, but you knew he never meant it, and you could always tell when he was secretly enjoying the supposedly 'annoying' rants you have would have with him on late nights after a mission in an attempt to converse with the russian man.

fast forwarding a wee bit, the cold and hard seat welcomed you inside of the helicopter. it was a fairly easy mission you had just been on and only 2 operators were needed so you and kapkan had went together. it was now time for the journey back to the base.

you knew maxim was tired, but you wanted to help him destress and loosen him up from the recent action he partook in.

"hey, can you believe the alexsandr (tachanka) called me a loser earlier!! i was outraged! i know he never meant it but still!" you began, slightly sarcastically, as you weren’t actually offended by the title

"what? why?" his tone was more inquisitive than usual, maybe because it was his fellow spetznaz member committing such atrocities, or because he wasn't his usual self that day for some odd reason. you appreciated the fact that he was definitely listen though. despite this, your response of “i dunno” didn’t answer his question well.

“Я не думаю, что ты неудачник, я думаю, ты довольно крут, ты знаешь” (i don’t think you’re a loser, i think you’re pretty cool, you know)

you feel your cheeks radiate a subtle warmth as you raise your eyebrows slightly in surprise at his sweet yet unexpected comment. “спасибо, максим, хотя если я крут, то какой ты?! ahа” (thanks maxim, but if i’m cool then what does that make you? aha) your response made his ears go red and his eyes widen, which you could see through the gap in his mask. maxims eyes being ever so slightly more exposed to the sunlight leaking into the helicopter. his eyes met yours and a simple smile was exchanged, one that would be the start of something

[sowthetide]

heyyyyyy *saunters saucily into your ask box* congratulations! you have written a character so appealing that i cant stop thinking about her! and considering shes an alternate version of an already fictional character, i literally have no one else to bother about the brainworms she gives me. so, youre stuck with me. (side note if you do get sick of my endless asks just say the word and i will limit myself to like. two per chapter. probably. i can be normal i promise) ANYWAY i was listening to incredible amazing bigbrained theon playlist this morning and foreigners god by hozier came upand. the way i see it, in asoiaf canon theons one of the characters with the most interesting relationship with religion. he has the conflicting background, and doesnt really seem to connect with either. which isnt bad, not every character needs tk be spiritual, yet he is also some sort of mesiah figure??? like he has visions and talks to the weirwoods and has SO MUCH religious imagery like im not gonna get into it all but dude literally got crucified?? at a stake??? shit idk man. i like it. i like the part where he swears by the seven WHILE AT THE ISLANDS BEFORE HIS DEATH BAPTISM CEREMONY bbg theyre not pagans. but but but back to quenn- i feel like this is more emphasized in her story? maybe thats just me being delusional but (she lights insence in the sept after cat leaves hahahha im normal about this i swear) shes been abandoned by ALL the gods but still prays??? and for what??? stability???? hope?????? shes can seem like such a pessimist at time, a down to earth realist at best, but SHE STILL PRAYS. to what god???? im not very eloquent with words but you should listen to foreigners god the end byeeerer

-TeaInABowl

Why, hello again ;-) You're so nice to me 🥺 I really appreciate it cause I've been dealing with some Family Issues lately ❤️

Also, you do not have to tell ME about the pain of Quen brainworms!!! Thank god I have goddcoward, Ashen_Onion, and, of course, Y'ALL to scream with about Quen with, because otherwise I'd have probably lost my mind by now. Never worry about being normal because I've spent the last year being increasingly Unnormal about Quen, with extensive daydreaming about all of the Saw traps I have/will put her in.

You've reminded me to update my Quen playlist (the link is around here... somewhere...), but I also reallyyyy need to finish my Theon playlist too... eventually...

But back on topic! Yes, Theon's relationship with religion is such an interesting part of his character, and it's something that really drew me to him while reading (as someone with a complicated/agnostic outlook on religion). He has an unusually strong connection with the North's old gods, which is especially apparent in his ADWD chapters (which are some of GRRM's best-ever chapters, I will die on this hill), and I can't wait to see how that (hopefully) intersects with Bran's journey in TWOW.

I took this aspect of Theon's character and ran with it for Quen, as she has a lot of exposure to all three of the main religions in Westeros: the Drowned God during her childhood on the Iron Islands, and the old gods + the Seven during her time with the Starks. Quen has a closer relationship with the Seven in particular, due to her closer relationship with Catelyn/Sansa/Arya/Septa Mordane (by nature of being female in this 'verse), but she oscillates between all three when the occasion calls for it.

What is she praying for? Does she even believe in any of these gods? Who knows! Quen certainly doesn't. But she'll pray to the gods of the people she loves, so their gods might protect them. Also, as my dad would put it: "there are no atheists in foxholes". This is to say, Quen will cling to whatever gods get her the hell outta this clusterfuck in one piece. And, unfortunately, she finds herself in an inordinate amount of clusterfucks. She's clusterfucks Georg, really.

"Foreigner's God" is Thee Theon song fr. We all listened to it and collectively went THEON 🫵 If anyone has any other Theon song recs, I am always open to suggestions... 👀

[hoshi-y]

Natsuhiko x Sakura doing the things in Natsuhiko's fantasy in "After School Hanako kun"??

Fantasy Date

Natsuhiko x Sakura

Genre : Fluff

Characters : Natsuhiko Hyuuga, Sakura Nanamine

TW : None

A/N : when I tell you I cackled when I saw this photo I really did HAHAHA, my man has the wildest imaginations 😭😭

Anyways, I kinda yknow wanted to make it funny

I HOPE YOU ENJOY 💗 💗 💗

I want to marry you, M'lady.

Would it be the end of the world if Sakura DID accept Natsuhikos date proposals?

Yes, it would be/j

Natsuhiko asked Sakura on a date to the beach and she said of course

He was over the moon

Jumped higher than the cow who jumped over the moon my guy was that happy

They planned the date to a nice beach resort on saturday

He counted the days

Would groan and complain in the morning on why it isnt saturday yet

But when Saturday was right around the corner he could not get any rest because

He didn't get any sleep just saying lol

So when it was time to pack up the car and leave to pick up his lady

He went faster than sonic, finished getting ready, packing his bags into the car in an hour

Since he did all of these too early he had to play another waiting game

He's just sitting inside the car, hands on the steering wheel, with a huge smile on his face at 5 in the morning

If I was neighbors with him I would've called the mental hospital

He was supposed to pick Sakura up an 6am so when they leave it won't be too hot

He was already outside her house

at 5:30 in the morning

Sakura starred outside the semi-dark street at a beaming Natsuhiko outside her house, She sighed as she opened the door and walked up to him

"Natsuhiko.. It's early in the morning, Our call time was 6pm" She rubbed her forehead

"I was excited to see you M'lady~" Natsuhiko flirted which Sakura ignored him "Well, My stuff is already ready anyways, Help me put them in the car" Natsuhiko jumped out faster than a rabbit which startled Sakura a little "Natsuhiko calm down"

"OF COURSE—" Sakura smacked him "Its 5am Natsuhiko, People are still sleeping or trying to enjoy the morning." Natsuhiko nodded and followed Sakura inside her house

Sakura loaded all her things in the car

In just a minute

Why? well you already know why

anyways, they were on the road

The journey to the beach resort was pretty smooth

No traffic

No harsh sun

And they got there really early, not many people were on the shore nor on the pool of the hotel they were staying at

so Natsuhiko and Sakura decided to check in their room to walk around and explore

"Your room will be on 307, if the two of you have any complaints or concerns please refer to the landline inside the room, Thank you for checking in!" The receptionist handed Natsuhiko their room keycard and went to the elevator to get to their room

The elevator they boarded had glass behind them letting you see what was outside

"Their pool here is huuggee" Natsuhiko peaked over "We should eat first, we haven't eaten ever since we left" The elevator halted to a stop at their destined floor, they got off holding their bags and scouted for their room

once they've settled their things in they went back downstairs

Since it's still early in the morning, they caught up with the hotels breakfast buffet

Sakura ate a light breakfast

while Natsuhiko went HAM on the bacon and eggs

"Natsuhiko no one is gonna take the bacon and eggs from you.." She eyed him from across the table, He was eating the bacon and eggs like someone was REALLY gonna take it

"It's so good tho—" He suddenly chocked as he immediately grabbed the glass of orange beside him and drank it all

"Eat slowly, this vacation might turn into a hospital trip." She went back to reading while drinking tea as Natsuhiko scratched his head

After they finished eating they went back to their hotel room to change and walk around

Explored every area

Natsuhiko would flirt with Sakura from time to time using their surroundings

"M'lady, are a flower? cause I'd always stop in my tracks and stare in awe at your beauty~" He said as he eyed Sakura looking at a flower bush, She turned her head as he saw the tip of her ears go slightly red

He cheered to himself that he made her blush

Afternoon rolled in, They went over to the indoor pool to swim around

Sakura wasn't wearing a 2 piece rather a rush guard

not like Natsuhiko was disappointed

he sulked behind a slide

"Man all that swimming around made me hungry" Natsuhiko said as he place the towel over his shoulders

Sakura got up from the pool and grab her towel "We should go eat, there's this food bazaar nearby" Sakura said as she stared off to the direction of the bazaar

"I heard they have tasty takoyaki and the line up was long"

"Well, we better get going before alot of people start lining up" Sakura started grabbing her things as Natsuhiko followed

Well the line ups were crazy

But they managed to get theirselves takoyaki and went to other food stalls to satisfy their hunger

they even tried out some bazaar games

Sakura's hands were full that day

full of prizes

the energetic and happy afternoon has passed and it was now evening

Natsuhiko was thinking of bringing Sakura to this fancy restaurant nearby

He could barely make a reservation earlier cause of how many people were reserving

But he manage to get them a table

Natsuhiko sat on the bed waiting for Sakura to finish up, He was anxious, He wanted to ask her THE question

the sound of the bathroom door opening made him snap out of his thoughs, he looked up and its like an angel was sent down for him

Sakura wore a cute dark green dress with an oversized white cardigan, black flats, and her hair braided into a bun.

He might've been starring at her for awhile cause she was now feeling uncomfortable with what she was wearing "Do I.. look weird?" She asked which he immediately swatted his hands anf shaking his head with a big bluch on his face

"NO, no you look.. stunning M'lady~" Natsuhiko stood up and kissed the back of her hand "Shall we?" He gestured to the door "We shall." Sakura wrapped her arm around his and off they went to the restaurant

the restaurant was fancy as HELL

Natsuhiko was a rich boy no wonder he could afford it all

They got a table on the balcony with a really great view

They ate while they talked, laughed

and most importantly for Natsuhiko flirting

The waiter poured both of them a glass of wine as they thanked him, They both picked up their glass and made cheers (is that what you call it..)

"I had alot of fun, Natsuhiko" Sakura said as she took a sip of her wine "Im glad you did, I saw how stressed you were so why not the beach ya?" he chuckled

"I also want to ask you something.." He placed his glass down and looked at Sakura in a serious manner

"What is it?" Sakura also put her glass down to give Natsuhiko her full attention

"I... I want to um.." He cleared his throat as he fidget in his seat, His mind cleared when he heard Sakura giggle and felt a hand ontop of his which made him explode "You wanted to ask me out, right?"

"Y-yeah! I've.. liked you for awhile.. well you already know that"

"Well, I accept"

He sat there utterly shocked

"W-WAIT YOU WILL?" Sakura nodded as she smiled a little "I've feelings you too Natsuhiko, and I was on telling you too when we get here" Natsuhiko smiled as he held her hand tight

"I'll take good care of you.." He kissed her hand, and enjoyed the rest of the night

(Meanwhile...)

We have once again come back to the school and into the broadcasting room

Tsukasa, Mitsuba, and Sakura were watching one of Natsuhiko's weird fantasies with Sakura, Again. Man they should make a whole series for him and his fantasies

"AHH NO FAIR He took you to the beach in his fantasy and we're not there!" Tsukasa pouted as he pointed at the cartoon bubble he made with his Kokujoudai.

Sakura sighed heavily as he rubbed her forehead "I'm gonna get fresh air. I don't want to watch this anymore." Sakura got up and walked out of the broadcasting room

Mitsuba sat there with a weirded out look till it turned into a terrified-disgust face

"AGGHH TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THEM KISS THAT LOOKS SO WRONG!!" Mitsuba cover his eyes with his sweater as Tsukasa did not move and continued to watch

"Hey i think they're gonna make porn!"

"B-B-BE QUIET AND DON'T SAY THAT!!"

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, I really wasnt feeling well the past few days 😞 and i had a sudden burst of ideas in the middle of the night

I HOPED YOU ENJOYED 💗 im gonna go sleept and get mi mi mi's

[nebylitsa]

end of the year reading asks: 2, 15 and 24!

2: Did any book inspire you to seek out further media, such as the movie/show/fanfiction? How did you feel about that take? i actually only did the opposite of that this year, as it happens! i got into phantom of the opera from the 1990 miniseries and the musical, and have since devoured hundreds of thousands of words of fanfic about it. still havent gotten around to reading the book though.* same with rebecca - watched the 1940 film and bought the book, but havent read it yet.

15: A book you never thought you'd be into but were proven wrong i didnt think id like calling a wolf a wolf by kaveh akbar because id actually started reading it several years ago and never finished, but i gave it a second chance this year and LOVED it. liked his other book, pilgrim bell, too.

24: What new releases are you looking forward to next year? i dont know when itll actually come out (i mean, hopefully next year??) but the second volume of the worst journey in the world graphic novel adaptation

*ok this is not entirely true. the reason i still havent read poto isnt just because i "havent gotten around to it," its also because i genuinely cant bring myself to start reading it because i know i will become very sad and its going to hurt so so fucking bad :)

[reflectingiridescent]

Hey, I’m so sorry the shitty job is continuing to be shitty :( I’ve been there, when on the drive to work the central reservation starts looking more enticing than finishing the journey into the office. And thats when you know, you have to quit.

Nothing is more important then you well being. no job, no manaager no nothing. If you have to walk out and never look back for you. Thats what you have to do, do it.

Work will replace you, your family, friends and peole who care about you will never.

If you need to stick out the final months you need to make sure your safe first. If the idea of unaliving youself is persiting, you need to make certain you are safe, and make it as hard as posisble for yourself to do anythgn when your in that bad place. Remove any dangerous objects, don’t have then anywheree acessible to you. Go out and buy the bigggest shampoo and conditioner you can, don’t wait for them to run out. Make plans. Even somethign small. Have those things to look forward too.

Seek help now. It may be a load off when you finally get to leave that place. (IT was for me). However consider that the time youve been there has been traumatic. It may have effected you deeper than you can realise and sometimes just getting out of that situation isnt enough.

Talking thearapies are great. There’s online self help guides for things like CBT if you can’t seea professional. Medication can help, and there’s no stigma in needing this.

When we break a limb, the healing prcess is just one component, once you get that cast off there’s physiotherapy, occupational heath, and time to rebuild the strength. Consider the same for your mind. Giver yourself the grace and space to heal. Hopefully this will help you long term in the future.

One month can seem like a long time. Break it down. Same way as eating an elephant, you do it one bite at a time. Get through the next week, if thats too much, just the next day, or even hour by hour. Celebrate each of these milestones. you can get there. You ARE getting there. You can do this becuase you are doing this!!!

Please stick around. You’re going to do wonderful things.

And i have so much more to ask you about your writing.

I think the most annoying thing is that I have been in some version of this cycle for three years. Work is bad, but there’s a pandemic so I can’t easily move jobs. The pandemic gets better, I lose my job and visa. I burn out at the next job because I was so overworked at my last job. I negotiate to take a three month break and come back to this back-breaking efficiency thing they have put on me (where both of the people running my program burn out before I do 😂😂😂 and one has to be warded at the national mental hospital).

I’m just building back my finances from the three months off. Like I’m fine, but nothing has been sustainable for three years. And yet I am sustaining? But I can’t do this forever. And now I’m scared that the next job I landed (because I secured a new job over a month ago) is going to be the same, despite it being a different industry.

Like I physically can’t afford to burn out again? I’m just worried.

Two days from now, I’m taking a week off. And I moved up my therapy appointment. And yet it still just seems like every day at this job lasts years.