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lolita-lollipop · 4 years ago

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Hi hope you’re having a wonderful day! Could I please get a bnha coraline au story. So like y/n has had a pretty bad life like a whole bunch of stuff and now they have to basically parents their own parents at the age of 15 cause they’re lazy alcoholics who just go to work come back and drink. One day after they move in y/n gets curious and finds explores around the house while they’re alone and discovers the door to the other world and meets their dream parents. The parents are aizawa and present mic who just genuinely love the reader, they don’t want to take readers soul that just want to help them. They have a sister eri and a brother shinso and when reader tries to leave they all beg and threaten reader not to leave cause “your parents never cared for you anyways” and “we’ll love you more then they ever would” and force reader to be the new baby of the family gender neutral reader if possible, please and thank you ( 03^)~💚

YANDERE CORALINE AU ERASERMIC FAMILY X READER

GN READER

-I do apologize if you wanted a shorter work, because this ended up being kinda long, sorry!

-there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes here and there, this is unedited, I will fix them :)

(I don’t know if you actually wanted the reader to be treated like a baby, literally like an infant, or just like the youngest in the family, I needed up doing the second option, tell me if wrong.)

——————————————————————-

You hummed a tune as you wandered the hallways, your footsteps dragging, you had tried to tell your mother to drink some water and put the strong bottle of vodka down before she ended up killing herself. She yelled at you, told you to “shut the hell up ya damn brat”, god knows where your father even is. It had only been a day or two in this house, and they had already made it feel like a prison for you, oh my, A SINGLE DAY.

In all honesty the house was nice, old, yes, but still nice. It seemed as if the last owners hadn’t been here for hundreds of years, let alone clean the place, as all embellishments on the walls were antique styled, and everything, I repeat, everything, was covered in dust. There were a few different pieces of furniture that looked as ancient as the neighbors, including a dresser filled with a different articles of clothing, a few dusty chairs here and there, curtains clawed away by... something, and little tables with droors filled with little trinkets.

One room in particular was exceptionally creepy in your eyes, it seemed like a child once slept there, probably long dead by now, the walls were covered in a striped floral wallpaper, chipping at the edges, various stuffed animals that hadn’t been touched in ages, what looked to be a changing table, and a smaller sized bed placed in the middle, fitted with dusty purple bedsheets, probably that color because of the gathering dust, you sat down on the mattress, inhaling the scent of the room. It smelled oddly of lavender, not a musty mildew smell you were expecting. You spent a moment just finding comfort in the warm smell, before noticing a small dent in the wall behind what you thought could be a changing table. Almost looked like... a tiny door?

“What the heck is that?” You questioned or yourself, narrowing your eyes at the wooden frame that looked like a small threshold, cautiously standing up form the bed, and making your way over to the door, you struggled to move the large piece of furniture, pushing back gains the groun and shoving it out of the way. It was indeed a door, and it was indeed tiny. There was a small cobweb strung across the mass of it, which you batted away with your little hands, pulling at the doorknob a few times to reveal the fact that it was locked, you let out an exasperated sigh. Well... it’s not like you have much to do, might as well find the key.

Surprisingly, it hadn’t taken long for you to find the small, heart shaped key that fit the locked door, it was tucked into one of the white droors of the small table in the corner. It was the first place you looked, almost as if it’d been calling out for you. It only took a few moments for you to push the key into the lock and turn, you let out a sigh of relief when you heard the satisfying click of the lock opening. Wondering what was going to be on the other side, you pushed open the mini door, to reveal a tunnel of sorts... today’s just full of surprises isn’t it.

“Man this tunnel is lo... whoah.” You stood, still balled up in a crawli mg position, shocked at your own surroundings. Everything looked so... new, and polished, you stared Jan absolute awe at everything, literally everything. Where are you?

“Oh, honey you’re finally here!” A male voice rang out from behind you, immediately large hands were lifting you off the floor from under your arms, holding you like a baby, this guy cradled your head in his chest, no matter how much you squirmed, the iron grip he had on you did not loosen. You snapped your head up to meet his eyes, only to be met with buttons of such a piercing yellow it almost hurt your own eyes. A shrill scream left your lips, as you flung your feet back and forth in attempts to free yourself.

“Oh, oh right. I’m sorry , I should’ve been a little slower, it’s scary I know, you’ll get used to it I promise. I’m hizashi, your other father, re you alright?” He questioned, backing up a little to give you space, bringing his hands up to tell you he wasn’t going to hurt you, ever. You were usually a calm person, but given the situation, like some random person living in your house with buttons for eyes, the reaction was warranted. You breathed for a small moment, inhaling the even stronger scent of lavender that was oh so comforting, before standing back up, giving whatever this was at a chance of explanation.

“Who- who are you?” The question left your lips faster than tryouts could hold it in, he gave you a smile and walked closer again, booping your nose and once again pulling you off the ground. He was tall, slightly lanky, and his hair was a bright yellow to match his eyes, little dangle earring wee attached to his ears, you just stared in awe at the inhuman man who was holding you.

“Silly little thing! I just said it! I’m your other father, like your real father, just perfect for you! Dinners almost ready, so let’s go meet the rest of the fmIly okay bubs?” He questioned m, speaking down to you like one would a child, even though you are a fully capable human. He grabbed your hand, and gently rigged you off into some hallway, you slightly dig your feet in, staring back at the little door that got you here in the first place.

———

“Honey, this is your reality, if it was perfectly fit for you! We love you, unlinke those scum who call your your parents, don’t your bat to be loved for once y/n?” He spoke, the two of you arrived at what was probably the kitchen, him explaining what was happening pretty thoroughly considering he had to do it in a few minutes, barging through the doors, a few other pairs of button eyes were scattered thievhiur the kitchen.

“Daddy! I helped bubba make dinner tonight!” A little girl, probably not even over the age of five, came running towards the two of you, smiling fully. She was sporting a pair of red buttons, which matched her little jumper, you had your face buried in this ma- hizashis chest, his arms wrapped around the entirety of you. He sent an exited stare towards the little girl, who jsut gasped and smiled even harder. She made little grabby hands towards you, so hizashi set you down on the ground, whispering a “time to get down” in your ear. Instantly, the little girl attached herself to your torso.

“Bubba/sissy!” She squealed, patting your stomach, as much as you would love to knock her off of you, she’s a kid, you don’t do that to kids. This young girl claimed to be your other sister, which at this point you were led to believe because apparently anything is possible at this point, she was pretty adorable.

“I-uh, yeah?” You spluttered, visibly flustered, you tried to get a grip of yourself, it was kindof odd, although the girl seemed much younger than you, the way she carried herself presented that she was much older than she came off, from the maternal glint in her eyes, to the planned movements, it just seemed... mature.

—————small time skip—————

It had been maybe an hour, you had been seated at a dinner table, quite the large one actually, in between a black haired man that you could tell was staring at you, and a purple haired teenager who looked to be a similar age to you. You sat there just kindof awkwardly trying to not touch any of them. At one pint. The purple haired guy tried to feed you, which was an unfortunate suprise because you were off in dreamland, and were ckmoemteky confused as to why he was even trying something like that.

“You’ll probably hurt yourself trying, just let me do it” he spoke, it is safe to say that this button eyed family is an odd bunch. First the woerd door, then a creepy guy tryna pick you up, then some little girl who probably wasn’t so little claiming you to be her “younger sibling”; then the offpdutirng glances front his beanbag guy, than this? What is happening.

Sooner or later, after the really odd display that was dinner had finished, and you had help washing your hands, because for some reason they thought you needed it, it was announced bettime, and with a snap of the man him you learned name was Aizawa, food was gone, along with all the dishes. If you were to be completely honest with yourself, you almost lied this, of course not the babying thing, but the fact that you weren’t cooking or cleaning or trying to snatch a bottle from your parents, it almost made you wnat to cry how perfect this family was. God how much you wished this was your own.

It’s sounds selfish, and unreasonable, but you never had a childhood, the day you were born your life was already sighted off as “servant of my own parents”, you lived them, you did, these people were so nice thiugh, they were odd, maybe a little quirky, but still jsut a perfect little family. Apparently one that includes you.

“ALRIGHT! time for bed!” The yellow haired man exclaimed, seeeping you and eri right off of your feet, holding you in his arms as eri giggled at the sudden swish sound. The two men on the other side of the large room cracked small smiles at the sheer adorable ness of the position, the two little ones of the family and their father! What a sight to see!

“Shhhhh, I think y/n is gonna sleep with us to Tonight okay eri?” Hizashi whispered to the young girl, loud enough for you to hear, she nodded and smiled one of her sickeningly sweet smiles, hr eyebrows raising before her button eyes. She motioned to be put down ‘, waving goodbye and latching her own hand onto shinsos, who also waved his hand.

“Goodnight daddy! And y/n!” From there, you walked alongside them to their room, or what you supposed it was. This was the first time you’d really talked to Aizawa, and it was pretty embarrassing because he asked if he was aloud to change you out of your day clothes. You were a little too scared to say no, so you let him, it was probably one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to sit through, and that’s saying quite A lot.

When all was done, you had brushed your teeth, and wrrrnchanged into a set of lilac pajamas, silken and slippery, you were pulled on top of the yellow haired man, who then wrapped his arms around your waist and started “shh-ing” you, patting your head while rocking back and forth slightly, the other man slipped in next splaying his arms over you, rubbing circles into your beck

Mans with that, the lights went out, and you fell asleep.

——————————————————————

From there, everything in your life changes, you wake up the next day in the dusty lilac bed, wondering if it all was a dream, so the next night, you go back, and the next, and the next, until you started to spend your days there. Playing with eri, or cuddling with either of the three men, or just having fun without any worries or cares int the world. By that’s when it all starts, they kindof... changed.

They became overprotective, it showed in some more than others, but it was present either way. Al you wanted to do was check up on your dad to see if he was still alive or not, and eri had a whole crying fit, begging you to stay, and telling you she’d die if you left.

“No no! You can’t leave me! I-I I’m gonna die if you leave! I’ll die, please don’t keVe I promise il be good!”

It took a little shushing from you, but eventually you convinced her you weren’t going to leave, and so she went back to her normal self. You were with shinso once, and walked near the little door, he had immediately blocked it as if you were going to do something, then scolded you for going near such a “dangerous object”.

“You shouldn’t. Go close to that evil little thing, it might hurt you m, I don’t want you to get hurt, so stay away from it”

And then your other parents, they didn’t let you do anything by yourself, scared you would run off and get lost in the maze of nothing outside. You can’t even mention your real parents, you’ve been down here for at least a week now and haven’t been able to check on them, so when you did ask to go back for a day, hizashi slicks dying up and told you to cut out the nonsense, while Aizawa bubbles in anger, telling you that they lived you ten times better than your parents Eve could.

“They don’t deserve you, they don’t love you, we do, they’ll never live you half as much as we do, we can protect you here, why would you wnat to leave?”

Ans so one day, when your “other papa” or Aizawa, tried to take the key from you and lick you in here, you had enough. These people were supposed to be perfect, instead they turned obsessive, little button eyes showing up everywhere, watching your every move, you had thought your old life was a prison, now look at this.

You turned back, checking to see if anyone was watching, waiting to stop you, before pulling the key out of your pocket, ripping the boarding off of the door, pulling the panels of wood off one by one, shoving the key into the black door knob, you were just about to turn it, when a voice rang out behind you, no longer was the sweet girl who you played trains with, in the stead was something else just In ther body, you could hear it in her voice.

“Where are you going? You aren’t trying to leave are you?” She spoke, you froze on the spot, hands moving faster, ymtrying to get the stupid door to unlock, before you could even blink, the key snapped in half, not in your hold, in another sudden figure, your other brother. You didn’t even get the chance to speak before be t down and ripped the whole door knob off of it, giving you a knowing glance.

“I told you to stay away from it, I told you didn’t I? Now look, it’s broken” he hissed, throwing the iron knob somewhere else, you knew that I’d both of the siblings were here, the two parents were sure to be here along with them, you were proven right, as a pair of black and yellow buttons popped up behind the Eric girl, carrryijg... what is that?

“Oh my god... OH MY GOD” you screamed, the heads of your parents were in these men’s holds buttons sewn over the eyes, blood seeping out of their decapiated necks, you reMiedn screaming as the heads were discarded, jsut thrown off somewhere else. You were lifted up off the ground in your crying state, hizashi a hands stroked your hair, while his other hand went and wrapped around your butt to support you up.

“We told you baby, we tried to tel you at least. Now there’s nothing up there for you, there was never anything anyways, your safe now... they’ll never hurt you again. You’re ours...

Forever”

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Tell me if you liked it, I can change things if you want:)

#coraline au #yandere erasermic #yandere erasermic family #buttons #tiny door #lock and key #shinsou hitoshi #shinso #erasermic #daddy erasermic #eri #yandere present mic #yandere Aizawa #yandere shinso #yandere eri

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dreamteamspace · 4 years ago

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So this stream I got a bit confused with what was going on with the whole spiel with schlatt and dream, and I dont actually think theres a traitor. However if there was one why not niki ya know? I mean, he kept saying how it would be way more unexpected than eret in the independance war, and literally everyone so far has been thought of as a potential traitor to pogtopia,, except well,, why not niki? She also had this letter to her "dear friend" that sounded like a new turn for her character and idk man why not?

Alright I’m a very texting type of person and you’ve got my started on my hyperfixation here we go-

My thoughts on the whole situation and why I think Fundy is the traitor:

I think from Dream’s perspective: Everything makes sense. I’m HIGHLY certain that Schlatt’s deal, which Dream said is “Something Wilbur and Tommy would never give him”, was that L’Manburg will either cease to exist (become part of the Dream SMP, and we know neither Wilbur not Tommy would ever do that), or that Dream would essentially become leader of it.

That’s why, in this flip situation, if he wins, he wins all of it. This also makes sense, as Dream is 100% alright with Wilbur just blowing it up, too: Because essentially he achieves the very same thing: L’Maburg/Manburg is no more.

Dream is absolutely right that he was never on their side or really on anybody’s side. Dream is his own side. It’s his server. He IS the Dream SMP, in that sense, just like Tommy is the spearhead of the rebellion right now.

I’m also fairly certain Dream will pull a lot more people than they think into this, and I think they ALSO know, in a meta-way, that they won’t be fighting only Schlatt and Dream and one traitor. He’s just letting them wallow in their security, although I have to say he LOVES dipping in his dramatic implications about what he’s doing or will do. In this case, he might’ve managed to keep quiet to let them think they’re safe.

So for Dream: Either they win, and L’Manburg is his/no more, or Wilbur sees they start losing, and L’Manburg is also no more. Honestly? He just has to make Wilbur panic hard enough to hit that button... and then he wins. It would be bad if he loses, though, so I do think he’ll pull together for this. He’s very competitive.

(Lot more juicy theory as to who the traitor is under the cut)

I predict that a good portion of BadboyHalo, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Punz, potentially also people like Thunder or Alyssa?, are going to join Dream’s side. Sam seems close to the rebellion, but he’s also friends with George and Sapnap, but I just can’t see those two seriously fighting against Dream. If the stakes really are high, they’ll flip over to him, although I also can’t see them convincing Sam.

Most likely, George and Sapnap are just going to stay out of it entirely, and let Sam fight on the side of the rebellion. Maybe the current pet war might change that, though, say if Sapnap develops a new hatred against Tommy or even Sam? (I dont know what the pet war’s at atm but didn’t Sapnap and Sam fight over pets?), he would join in on Dream’s side. George? I have no idea. Most likely he just won’t be there. He doesn’t want to go against Sam (Who provides him with like. Everything), but he also doesn’t wanna fight Dream. IF he fights, though, I’m tempted to say he’d be on Dream’s side, but I’m honestly not up to date enough on his streams to say for certain.

As for the traitor: I actually haven’t seen Niki’s letter (to my great regret, I saw the news float around though), since I’m very focused on watching Tommy and Wilbur’s POVs. Honestly, if it’s Niki? That would be MASSIVELY surprising, and the biggest brain move I’ve ever seen. It’s possible, but I honestly don’t think it’s likely.

They’ve kept their characters fairly consistent, and while this IS kindof meta to say, I don’t think (with how things are atm), that Niki would betray L’Manburg, UNLESS she’s doing a double-agent thing and plans on tricking Dream in the end. That I could potentially see happening.

But knowing that she changed the anthem from Wilbur’s posessive “My L’Manburg” to just “L’Manburg”, that she’s been loyal even when they kinda half left her alone with Schlatt to tax her, and even during the pet wars she never strikes blood, but rather takes hostages and wants a sincere apology... I don’t see it right now. Then again, I don’t watch Niki’s streams on the SMP, so I could be wrong, as I’m not quite familiar with the intricacies of her character on the SMP besides the surface level.

On on hand... I also doubt whether there is a traitor at all, and Dream is just hoping to drive them apart and make sure they don’t get things done as efficiently as they could, because they’re busy pointing fingers at eachother, suspecting eachother, potentially even throwing somebody out once the tension between them snaps.

He needs to win this fight. If he does, he gets EVERYTHING. What they think of him after that point doesn’t matter, so the lie doesn’t matter. They can laugh at him afterwards, but he’ll still have won. I don’t know how many actually highly important details Dream would drop into conversation like that.

Consider, he does have a traitor. Why would he tell them he has one there? Why tell them that they’ll never guess? It just sows chaos in their group, and that’s what he wants. If he DID have one, he might just not say anything.

On the other hand: He might just be dramatic like that honestly. We all know they’re meta-fighting for the next spot in a sad-ist animatic, so Dream could very well be taking a more active role to insert himself into the story and cause some drama. Even if he DOES have a traitor on the inside, saying it still sows chaos. It’s a little risky, but if it really is something they won’t guess, then the chance that they’ll suspect the wrong person might be high enough, and make it worth it.

If he DOES actually have a traitor, my top sus are honestly Fundy, Tubbo, and maybe Ponk. I’m very sure it’s NOT Wilbur, Tommy, Sam, or Quackity.

Ponk doesn’t seem like the type of person to be reliable enough. He’s just kinda in it for the ride, and he’s too quiet to set a focus on. I don’t think Dream even considered him on the side of the rebellion for certain until today. It is, however, still possible. Tommy seems to trust him, and he’s not in deep enough for them to intently interrogate him on his loyalty, cause they know he’s more laid back when it comes to that. He feels only half in the rp to begin with, just wanting to fuck around with everyone. And then, BOOM, he’s actually been playing a massive role this whole time. It’s a little bit of a safe target, too, albeit a little underwhelming.

Tubbo... listen. We all love Tubbo. Tommy loves Tubbo, and we know Tubbo cares greatly for Tommy. Tubbo also seems(?) to care for L’Manburg. But I just....

It’s Tubbo, man. I have no idea. He seemed SO close to ACTUALLY flipping over to Schlatt before the festival. Everyone keeps pushing him around like this innocent tiny kid when he has the biggest third eye out of everyone and is the only one actually doing any work.

Tubbo has stated before that his official motivation is that he just wants peace for everyone. He just doesn’t want to fight and wants to do fun stuff. So of course he sounds horrified at the prospect of having to hunt down Tommy after Tommy was exiled, but happily went along with the festival. He was excited to do his speech. Schlatt actually placed responsability on them for once. He truly did seem happy about that.

It doesn’t matter as much to Tubbo who’s who. What matters is that the fighting preferrably stops, and they all just have a good time. Dream gave the line “I’m very convincing”, so I think he did actually have to convince the traitor, if there is one, to join his side. It wasn’t automatic.

Technically speaking, if L’Manburg is no more, and they’re all part of the Dream SMP again, doesn’t the fighting stop? If there’s no nation to fight over, then there’s no reason to fight. If L’Manburg is no more, then Schlatt has 0 power, and if Dream takes over, he could’ve promised to un-exile Tommy and Wilbur. And then they’re all part of the Dream SMP! No more fighting! Everyone’s on the same side!

Tubbo seems to care less for nations or sides, and much more for people, and for the people around them to be happy. His switch to enthusiasm at Schlatt’s festival came quickly, because many of the people he cared about still partook in it, and he never did hurt Tommy, because he does care about him.

But Tubbo DID say the line “may the festival begin” after his speech, and they knew what that would start. So why? In a way, I think Tubbo waged his options. Who does he care about more? Tommy, to his knowledge, is on Wilbur’s side. He might’ve decided in a moment of uncertainty that Wilbur and Tommy’s opinions of him are more important to them than the opinions of the other people there. Mostly Tommy, because we know those two would die for eachother. They chose Tommy over everyone else at that festival, potentially even over their own motivations, over their own gut.

Fundy, in fact, has MANY reasons to be the traitor, but isn’t quite obvious in that sense. They thought he was a traitor, actually, but once he showed them his diary, he essentially convinced all of them very certainly that he’s not the traitor, and they believed him. Dream joined the call later, so it’s possible he heard that part or Fundy told him about it (They’ve all been known to listen in on convos sometimes to know whats going in. They have to in order to build a good story line.)

Fundy has all the reasons. Reason number one, to me, is Fundywastaken. It’s canon in the Dream SMP lore, they just surprisingly haven’t done anything with it. During the independance war, that wasn’t a thing yet, and since they ARE a thing in canon now... they’ve never actually fought eachother. In fact, as things are now? We’re EXPECTING to see Dream fight his canon fiancé. Fundy officially joined the fight when Tommy asked him, confirming that they can count on him and that he will fight. We know for certain that Dream will fight.

If Fundy isn’t the traitor and doesn’t become one, then Dream and Fundy are inevitably meeting in battle on the 16th.

Consider his storyline: We’ve all been highly expecting Fundy to either punch Wilbur in the face or at LEAST be dissapointed in him or SOMETHING. He hasn’t, as far as I’m aware. He’s just standing there near him, very very quietly, giving a firm but quiet “yes” when Tommy asked him if they could count on him.

Fundy hasn’t expressed much to Wilbur at all, despite heving been left alone with Schlatt by him, despite how much he deserves to be angry at him for being patronized and not trusted with anything.

And, y’know... He’s officially Dream’s fiancé. The others don’t seem to know yet, and I don’t know how many people do know or not. It’s possible they just don’t know, and of course Dream wouldn’t tell them anything, not even tell anyone, this close before a fight. Dream might not even tell his close allies out of fear that the information could spread or that they could turn on him.

So honestly... Fundy seems the most likely for me to be the traitor, especially because there’s been plenty of foreshadowing for it, there’s a good setup, he has good reasons, and it wouldn’t seem like a cheap plottwist, but rather a gradual change.

Not to mention that meta-wise, Fundy has been actively involved in the rp and been dropping some pretty good lines himself. This isn’t something that Dream would have some non-rping person do.

I’m also kindof sure it’s not Technoblade, because Dream laughed it off and half-indicated that it is (Tommy: “I bet it’s Technoblade” Dream, cracking up: “I didn’t say that, you said that”), because he profits from doing so. He profits from them thinking Technoblade is the traitor. And also I really, really don’t think Techno would team up with Dream in this rp. Then again, Dream recently proclaimed to be on the side of chaos.... so who truly knows? I’ll definitly be surprised if it’s Techno, but I suppose it is a possibility. I just don’t think Techno can be convinced to much of anything, unless of course all it took was saying “Hey it’s Schlatt and Me against like 6 people so if we want an actual fight for once-” “Finally some bloodshed and war. I’m in”. I mean, I doubt it, but I’m leaving the possibility open.

TLDR: Dream wins if he wins the fight OR if Wilbur blows everything up. The traitor is likely either Fundy, Ponk or Tubbo, and I think there will be more people fighting on Dream’s side than just Schlatt and one traitor.

#mcyt #dream smp #mcytblr #dreamwastaken #itsfundy #fundywastaken #fwt #tubbo #nihachu #wilbur soot #dreamteamspace speaks

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sometimes-legal-blonde · 6 years ago

Text

University of California, Riverside- hacks

so, when I first sent in my SIR to UC Riverside- I had not a clue what to expect from coming to this school. I didn’t hear a lot about their theatre department, I was nervous about greek life, I was anxious about finding a job, finding my way finding roommates, etc, etc.

I scoured the internet, Pinterest, Tumblr, Reddit(which was honestly the best source) for real student opinions of what it’s like to go here. and I didn’t find much.

Since I am finishing my first year at UCR, I figure I will write out ALL the essentials and pass them down to you, reader, to be able to conquer UCR, make a solid college choice, and know what to expect.

ORIENTATION

so highlander orientation is a mandatory thing. It’s a good thing too- you really start to understand the school and the people and the vibe. you learn the campus and how to get around. you meet really dope people.

~You need to register for the earliest one you can find~

I am saying this because you register for classes at orientation. I went to the last orientation and didn’t even get into a major related LC. It sucked.

You also need to take placement tests BEFORE you go to orientation so you know WHAT to register for. Spanish? Math? English? find a UC and take your test to get it done. It’s super helpful.

It is HOT. Bring water. Bring good shoes (i walked 10 miles one day!). Bring a portable charger.

MOVE IN.

it’s hard. + exhausting. +scary. + exciting. I’m from the bay so i had a long way to go with tons of stuff and it sucked. It was also super emotional for my family and so that’s draining. Just be ready for that. Get there EARLY. If your move in says 2pm, honestly you could get there at 1. Get the good closet + dresser + bed. snooze ya lose.

GREEK LIFE

So I knew before coming to UCR i wanted to rush a sorority. It has honestly been such a great thing for me. Greek life at UCR isn’t everything. It doesn't define your life if you do/don’t rush- you can still be in a social scene without it. BUT- it IS really amazing if you do choose to rush.

If you are considering rushing~

- bring cute clothes! you need like cute outfits for all the days of rush + things that make you look cute and happy and make you feel good about yourself.

- follow the sororities on Instagram and get a little familiar with them. so when you go to the houses you kindof know what you’re getting into.

- do NOT feel pressured to go to a certain house because of a reputation or because of a friend you’re rushing with. Find YOUR home, somewhere YOU love and that you feel like you’ll be so happy at. These are the girls you’ll have sleepovers with and cry about boys but also go to dances and banquets and parties with. find your right spot.

when you rush

get INVOLVED in your CHAPTER. Getting involved immediately made me feel more at home with the girls. Do the bake sales, go to LETTERS!! play moonball, anchor splash, do your volunteer hours with them. It makes it so much more fun and you love the girls so much more.

Theatre, Film, and Digital Production

so my major is TFDP with an emphasis in acting and directing. I always loved stage and it is where I see my success but this program is really versatile and has you work on both. It’s a GREAT department. I LOVE the staff, people, and opportunities. GET INVOLVED. If you are a theatre major you NEED to be auditioning, working crew, meeting professors, going to coffee with the fourth years, and learning all you can from one another, There are SO many resources on campus. here are a few that helped me:

- R’ Shorts (a film club on campus! audition for their stuff)

- ALL THAT JAZZ MUSICAL THEATRE (I founded this club, we do musical theatre stuff and masterclasses, its GREAT)

- Latina Play Project/Model Minority (both theatre groups that work so hard and do great shows!)

-GLUCK (get paid to do IMPROV)

- and honestly just auditioning for everything on campus!! The department itself does fall play, winter musical/winter film, and a spring production as well. Also, there are a lot of other ways to get involved in the department- there is ALWAYS something going on.

In my experience, getting involved with people in the theatre department was the best thing I did for myself because everyone is SO kind and generous and wants you to succeed.

CONCERTS

UCR throws amazing- AMAZING concerts. The lineups are great, the food is great, the photo opps are great, the pregames/after parties are GREAT. Just go, have a great time, and enjoy yourself.

CLASSES

so like usually college is where we go to do school and stuff- and classes are HARD(for certain majors). I’m TFDP/Dance but I still have to take breadth and do the whooole shebang so here are a few tips to boost your GPA (even tho C’s get degrees).

1. RATE MY PROFESSOR! LISTEN TO IT!! DO NOT TAKE POORLY RATED CLASSES! SRLSLY

2. Taking a class C/NC is not the end of the world. If it is going to tank your GPA- DONT DO IT FOR A LETTER GRADE. there is a form online that allows you to CNC until i think week 8?

3. take a dance practice class for an EASY A and a GPA boost. My first quarter I took 2 dance practices before I declared dance and bc I literally SHOWED UP i got an A. People who don’t dance take these classes! Take beginning ballet or beginning hip hop. or spanish dance. literally any beginning course will be easy and fun.

4. Study rooms are orbach are coveted during finals week. reserve in ADVANCE.

5. 1st floor orbach- loud. 2nd floor orbach- silent. 3rd floor orbach- greek.

6. if youre desperate- go on reddit and make a post about a certain class. reddit has saved me a few times honestly. hidden gem.

7. GO TO OFFICE HOURS FOR YOUR TA’s. THEY ARE THE ONES GRADING YOU, SO IF YOU NEED SOMETHING AND THEY KNOW YOU- YOU’LL GET IT. I always had my Hist TA look at my papers before turning them in and one time my paper got submitted wrong and she let me resubmit and saved my ass. Literally just because I asked questions and was on her good side.

RIVERSIDE THINGS

+back to the grind coffehouse in downtown is open really late, good coffee, and it’s cute. it’s cash only tho.

+iced coffee from Lee’s sandwiches works better than adderall sometimes. it’s cheap and amazing.

+$1 tacos at the taco place on university next to asian fusion/walgreens

+ding tea is supreme, roasting waters is shitty boba(but good smoothies) with cool, reusable, glasses, boba tea house is the closest walk to campus, but Ten Ren’s is the BEST for studying.

+ontario airport is closest to UCR.

+everyone raves. so EDM is huge.

+you don’t need a bike to get around campus. I walked everywhere. It was great. it takes 15 minutes TOPS to get from one side to the other.

+taps works harder than the devil

+inkhouse tattoos in moreno valley is $35 tattoos on Tuesdays and 1/2 off piercings.

+riverside is pretty sketchy in some parts. Make sure you stay with people if you’re exploring at night.

+THE SRC HAS FREE MASSAGES SOME DAYS.

+UCR is in the shape of a circle. if you get lost, go to the belltower and work from there. people are really helpful.

+if you have to take an 8am, take it your first year when you live on campus. and take it your first quarter. after winter, you lose your will to LIVE...

+if you get shitty classes, try to register again 2nd pass. It’s worth a shot!!!!

+if you can’t get any classes you need, SHOW UP TO THE LECTURE AND ASK TO BE ADDED.

#ucr #university of california riverside #UC Riverside #ratchetside #the riv #dirty riv #lmao #college hacks #college tips #theatre major #dance major #film major

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hillnerd · 6 years ago

Note

I kinda want you to write a story that would deal with Ron is virgin but Hermione isn't. I just feel like I read a lot of Hermione dealing with Ron sleeping with Lavender (or another girl) but hardly the opposite so I just think it would be interesting. Btw I love your newest story your working on!

Thanks so much! Sorry for the long time coming on this. (Not sure which story you mean, but I think you! I’m assuming Won Won?)

PG-13- alludes to sexual acts, but doesn’t actually show or describe anything in any detail.

Ron and Hermione had always been known as a passionate pair of people. He was the hot-headed ginger who would leap into altercations every year. She was the stubborn firebrand who would debate anyone at any given time. When they were together, their verbal spars were well known throughout the school, and now that they were together their passions raged on.

When Hermione had kissed him in the middle of the Hogwarts Battle, it hadn’t been anything chaste or tepid- it had been fiery, ardent, passionate and mindblowing. He’d swept her up in his arms and it had seared through him, having Hermione finally kiss him as he’d always wanted her to.

After the battle and the war, it took a bit for them to get that fire back. Ron found himself haunted by phantom death eaters and visions of his loved ones dying, making him so cautious he seemed like a worried mother hen much of the time. Hermione was uncharacteristically withdrawn, finding it hard to even get out of bed much of the time as nightmares and flashbacks plagued her.

They were able to find their way back to their fire, though, together. Every time they were alone and able to kiss, reverent passion would begin to work its way back into their souls, and soon they found the physical part of their relationship begin to escalate in intensity. Being alone in Australia led to some nights where they very nearly went all the way- but with the stress of everything, they hadn’t quite managed to get there.

Once back in England, Ron moved in the Grimmauld place with Harry. Hermione had been spending much of her time with her parents, trying to rebuild their relationship. He couldn’t blame her, but he also missed her a lot. It made their moments together even more important.

One particularly heated evening at Grimmauld place, when snogging had turned to much more, Hermione rubbed into him in ways that made his whole body rigid with anticipation, and they were very nearly naked. She was so beautiful, and Ron couldn’t believe she was allowing him to see touch and taste so much of her. Things continued to escalate and before he knew it they were at the precipice of having sex.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” said Ron, as he was close to entering her.

“We did all the ‘necessary prep-work,’” she said, giving him a naughty smile that made his mind zoom to just what all they did to make her quite satisfied. The way her body had quivered had almost been his undoing. “Just go easy and it won’t hurt.”

“But first times… They always say it hurts a girl- a woman- the first time she-” Ron cut himself off, somehow unable to say anything more, as he was suddenly embarrassed.

“Well it… It won’t be my first time,” Hermione said, biting her lip and looking away. Ron stilled. What had been so special, tender and beautiful now felt uncertain and brittle. Ron rolled off of her to take in the information.

He turned away from her and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his knees. He had thought they were both doing this for the first time.

“Ron?”

“Yeah… Yeah… Give me a moment…” He said trying not to sound sharp or feel hurt.

Hermione slid beside him, still looking so beautiful, and put a soothing hand on his arm.

“Please say something.”

“I just… I dunno what to say…”

“It was only one time, and it didn’t mean anything, Ron. It really didn’t.”

Ron let out a sigh and covered his face with his hands a moment. He felt so hollow inside right now, and oddly embarrassed.

“Did you and Lavender not–?”

“No.” He hadn’t really been saving himself for Hermione, as romantic as the notion was to him. Did he have a right to feel hurt? Given the chance, would he have had sex with someone else? If Lavender had offered, would he have been able to resist?

He just hadn’t had sex. He hadn’t expected Hermione to ‘save herself’ for him, exactly, but he’d sure not wanted to think about anyone else getting to touch her and love her like he wanted to. He knew he should be incensed or jealous, or maybe even hurt- but oddly enough he wasn’t. He was just shocked more than anything. And embarrassed that he was a wilting virgin and she was finding out this way.

He heard a sniffle beside him, and turned to see big tears working their way down Hermione’s face. She got up from the bed and started to gather her clothes to her, looking so vulnerable it made his heart clench.

“What are you doing?” he quietly asked, stilling her hand as she reached across him to pull her shirt from his nightstand.

“I j-just assumed you’d, you’d not want me to stay… You can’t even look at me!” she said, rubbing at her eyes and scrambling to put her bra on.

“I can’t stop looking at you, Hermione. Kindof always been an issue for me,” he said with a small lopsided smile.

“But… But I’m. You thought I was–”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ron said cutting her off, and bringing her to stand in front of him. “You love me, right?”

“Of course I do!” she let out.

“Then what does it matter? I love you back, and in the scheme of things… It’s really not that important. I mean, we nearly died about a hundred times in the last year. This is just… not really important. I’m not thrilled or anything, and I feel like a right tosser, but… I can’t change the past, and I don’t want to pull another Lavender situation to even the playing field… I just want you.”

“I want you too! So much,” she said, hands still holding her clothes in front of her. “Are you sure you’re okay with this though? I mean-”

“Just cause it doesn’t matter, doesn’t mean I want to talk about it.”

Hermione nodded, though she looked pained at not being able to talk something to death. Her brows where drawn together and she looked so uncertain.

“How about,” Ron said, standing from the bed. “You and I get dressed and we finish off that tin of biscuits I have downstairs. Who knows. Maybe we’ll end up back in bed after?”

It took some convincing, but she finally acquiesced and let him ply her with some sweets, and sweet talk to boot. She was looking so deflated and unsure of herself it made him feel a sod for even having reacted at all. At one point, he would have been so hurt and vindictive about it. He would have really made it into an issue, but really, there was no point in doing that. It’d do nothing but hurt them both, and he’d well learned his lesson from sixth year and the war. He’d let jealousy drive a wedge between him and Hermione before, and he’d be damned if he’d let it happen again. There was no point in dallying about with hurt feelings and petty jealousies. They’d survived so much, and he wasn’t going to throw all of what they had built away. She was beautiful, smart, kind - and she wanted him of all the blokes in the world. Loved him.

Later that night he was no longer a virgin anymore, and he and Hermione continued to learn each other’s bodies and wants and needs in ways no one else could ever know. They had the rest of their lives to make a million memories, and he wasn’t going to waste a moment of it.

To me, after EVERYTHING they’ve gone through- I honestly think Ron would handle this fairly maturely. He’s done with all that bullsh!t from before, and even during, the war. He’s gained so much heartache and perspective at this point that this is just so small potatoes. (Frankly, I think it should ALWAYS be considered nothing important because the concept of virginity being important and romanticized I find problematic, but that’s a long-ass speech for another day.) And as logical and confident as Hermione is, I think would be insecure about it at first as she’s not confident when it comes to feeling wanted, loved, and admired romantically- and she would definitely be self-judgmental about it. But anyways- there ya go, anon! Not some giant angsty story- but rather just an awkward moment between them that they get over relatively quickly- because life is too short.

#romione #what if #alternate universe #ficlet #hillnerd writes #hillnerd writing #Anonymous

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sinsiriuslyemo · 8 years ago

Text

Hey all, sorry about the delay!! Here is a new episode of Cuba v DR!! Stay tuned for episode 6 from @missjennifercole later!! And as always thank you for reading!

EPISODE 5

Junior paid the cab driver and stepped out of the taxi on 191st and Amsterdam, moving into the building. After his mother’s funeral, he’d gone through some of her things and found a letter, hidden in an old shoebox from his father. Thinking his dad may have wanted to keep the note, Junior had given it to him one day, but he could tell on Andrew’s face that it wasn’t a letter from him. He asked his grandmother about it, who would only tell him that his biological father lived in New York City. She didn’t think he would give up a summer semester to go looking for a needle in a haystack. She’d been wrong.

Being that Amber was the only person in New York that he corresponded regularly with, he figured she may want to help him find his biological father. He’d gone to her old office at the Times, but the editor told him that she’d quit almost a year ago. Luckily, they still had her last known address on file. Junior walked to the 1H at the end of the hall, knocking in the door, and silently hoping that his friend was home.

Amber opened the door and looked at him, eyes widening. “Hey,” she said softly, looking around to see if anyone was with him. “What are you doing here…?”

“Hey...it’s kindof a long story,” Junior replied. “You’re the only person I know in New York. Figured I’d come say hi...this a bad time?” he asked.

“No, no I'm just doing wedding stuff, come in,” she smiled and opened the door. “How have you been? How's college?” She looked him over. “You're even taller than before.”

“I’m good...school’s good, I almost have enough credits for my AA,” he answered, coming inside and eying the wedding plans scatter over the coffee table. “Sorry, I don’t mean to just show up, but...I actually could use your help with something,” he said. “I’m trying to find somebody. Don’t exactly know their name...or what they look like really, but I wanted to ask if you had any suggestions for tracking someone down when all you have is a letter they wrote twenty years ago.”

She looked at him softly. “Twenty years is a long time, Junior. But let me take a look and we'll see what we can do.” She held out her hand and smiled at him.

He seemed a little hesitant, but reached into his backpack and gingerly pulled out an envelope, handing it over to her. He watched her take out the folded up letter inside and waited while she read it.

Victoria,

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get in touch, and I’m even more sorry that I couldn’t do this in person. The last time you came to see me, you told me something that, lately I’ve had nothing but time to think about. I know the situation is probably nowhere near what you imagined when you thought about sharing this news, but we both knew me going away was a possibility. I don’t expect you to wait for me. I want you to do what’s best for you and our baby. Maybe someday our paths will cross again, but you have to get out while you can.

I won’t disappear completely, I promise, but I meant everything I said on the phone yesterday. Every word.

I only have one favor to ask, and I hope it’s not too much...if it’s a boy, I want you to call him, Junior.

I love you always and forever.

Amber swallowed hard, jaw clenching briefly.

“He sounds like he really cared for your mother,” she whispered. “Alright, well there's a lot you'll have to look into when it comes to this letter. But I need you to understand, you may not like what you find out. Are you sure you want to find him?”

She looked at him seriously. The words in the letter had suddenly made her heart clench. Omar didn't often speak like that. How was it that she felt in competition with a dead woman suddenly? She shook her head and took a deep breath.

“Well, one thing I already know, Andrew’s not my real dad. I mean...he is my dad. If I hadn’t found this in my mom’s stuff, I never would’ve known any different,” Junior answer. “At first, I was just gonna try to forget about it but…” He sighed heavily, trying to think of a way to explain it. “You know how when you find something that has so many answered questions, all you can think about is solving the puzzle?”

“Yeah, I do, I think it's in your blood if you're a reporter,” she took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, if this is really what you want, I'll help you.”

“I just wanna know where I come from that’s all,” he replied. “And if he still doesn’t want to know me, then I’m cool. I already have a dad...I just want to know who my father is. No one back home wanted to help, except my grandma, but all she told me was that he lives in New York City. So here I am.”

Amber nodded and took a deep breath. “Well tell me, if this was a source on a story, what does your gut tell you to do first?”

He thought for a moment, biting his bottom lip briefly.

“Track down my original birth certificate. See if his name is on it,” he answered.

“Good boy,” she smiled at him reassuringly. “It will also help to know where in New York your mother lived. She had to meet him somewhere, right?”

The front door opened and Amber tensed. “That's Omar, hang on a second.” She got up, moving quickly to the living room, blocking his path to the kitchen.

“Hi?” he mused with a chuckle, leaning down and kissing her lips. “What are you doing?” he asked suspiciously.

“Junior showed up on our doorstep about twenty minutes ago.” she whispered. “I don't know how he found where I live but he has a letter from his father and he wants to find out who that is,” she was gritting her teeth, she didn't like telling Omar things that upset him. She hated being the barer of bad news, always had, but it had to be said.

His face fell, and he pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily. Shrugging his shoulders.

“Okay, well...let him look, he won’t find anything,” he replied softly. “I forgot the list you gave me of the stuff you wanted me to get for the wedding, where’d you say you left it?” he asked softly.

“Don't worry about it, I'll get it,” she took his hands. “He's determined,” she said softly. “He just seems to want to meet his father, that's all. If you want me to lead him in the wrong direction…” she let the offer hang in the air. She hated that idea, but she'd do it if he asked.

“No, don't do anything, just leave it alone,” he replied. “He won’t find anything,” he said again.

“He wants me to help, do I just tell him no?”

“Tell him the truth, you’re getting married in a couple days, you don’t really have the time to go on a fact finding mission,” he answered, shrugging.

Amber looked away, “You should at least come say hello,” she mumbled, turning and moving back to the kitchen.

“Hey Amb-- Whoah…” Junior chuckled as he and Amber almost ran right into each other, and he looked up at Omar. “Hey,” he said with a smile. “Omar, right?”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again,” Omar replied, offering the kid a soft smile.

“Yeah, you too. Um, I just got an idea so I’m gonna go, but I can call if I find anything,” Junior said, looking back down at Amber as he reached for the letter. “I need this,” he mumbled softly, carefully taking it from her hands with two fingers and tucking the letter back into it’s envelope. “I’m not sure where I’m staying yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as I check in somewhere, okay?” he said as he walked to the front door, turning to wave at Omar. “Congratulations, man,” he said, smiling. “See ya!”

The door closed and Omar arched a brow at Amber briefly.

“What was that...the paper he took?” he asked softly.

“Your letter to Victoria when you left her or she left you,” she waved a hand dismissively. “He found it in her things. He's a smart kid Omar, I wouldn't be so sure that he won't find anything.”

She went back to her wedding things, her hands shaking a bit as she really thought about that letter. Victoria had a baby on the way and Omar had still sent her away. She wondered if a wedding ring would keep him, or if she'd be another Victoria.

“She kept that?” he mumbled almost to himself, furrowing his brows. “I was in the middle of serving a ten year stretch when she told me she was pregnant.”

“You don't owe me any answers.”

“Okay,” he replied. “Where’s the list you made for me?” he asked casually.

“I'll take care of it, I know Nevada has you running around, it's fine,” she meant it. She knew he was tired from work.

“I cleared my whole day, it’s fine. Nevada’s going to Sugar Hill later with OJ to check out the repairs and meet the new Jefe. Besides, Dama y la niña are both sick with the flu, so he’s not gonna be there long. Just give me the list, I got it,” he replied.

She nodded to the list that was sitting beside her. “Here,” she said softly.

“Alright…” He picked up the slip of paper and kissed her. “I’ll see you later. Want me to pick up dinner or are you cooking?” he asked.

“Pick it up,” she said softly and kissed back, sighing looking up at him.

“What’s the matter? You were singing zippity doo-dah out of your asshole this morning, now you look like somebody shit in your cheerios,” he mused with a smirk.

She made a face, “Ew, goodbye.” She was under pressure with the wedding, but what mattered was she was marrying the man she loved. She took his hand and kissed it. “You don't have regrets about this...do you?”

“About what? Getting married? No, of course not,” he answered, looking at her curiously. “What’s gotten into you?” he asked.

She shook her head, “I don't know,” she whispered. He sat down beside her, dropping the list on the coffee table.

“Talk to me...we’re gonna be married, we gotta talk to each other, mami.”

“I don't know, reading that letter…I just wonder if I have you, or if I have a time limit until you decide that it's better for me if we aren't together.”

“Why would I decide that?” he asked.

“I don't know,” she said honestly. “That's what scares me. I don't know and for the first time in my life I have something other than Barbie that I don't want to lose. That terrifies me.”

“Amber...I wrote that letter twenty years ago...I told Victoria to get out while she could because I was in prison when she told me she was pregnant. Besides, we were both nervous about having a child in this neighborhood...and me doing what I do and her being a single mom for the first few years? What would she have done if I’d gone to prison again? What if I’d gotten killed?” he explained gently. “She was pregnant, and the only reason she didn’t leave when she first found out was because she loved me. She didn’t want to leave me...she also loved Andrew, but that’s beside the point.

“The point is that when you have a baby, you can’t think about yourself or what you want anymore, because it’s not about you. Every decision you make, every choice affects them. They can’t speak for themselves, they can’t think for themselves yet, so you have to do it for them, and hope that whichever decision you make is what’s best for them. Only for them.

“Sometimes you make sacrifices, but...seeing Junior, how great he looks, how you can tell that kid was not only loved, but he got to experience his childhood without having to worry about violence or danger anymore than other people do...it makes it worth it. With regard to us...we both know where we stand...we’re adults, we can make our own choices about what life we want, and I want one with you.”

“Yet all he wants is to meet you,” she said gently. “He doesn't even seem to care if you like him or not, he just wants to know where he came from.”

He squinted his eyes a bit, tilting his head curiously.

“Is this about you and me or is it about Junior?” he asked.

“It was about us, but then you brought up Junior, so I thought it was fair game,” she looked at her hands.

“I brought up Junior because you asked whether I would send you away eventually, and the answer is no,” he pointed out. “You’re not pregnant, we don’t have a baby to think about. It’s a completely different situation.”

“Well it's a good think you found yourself a wife with built in birth control,” she tried to give him a light hearted smile to shift the mood. He gave her a gentle, yet slightly sad look.

“That’s not why I’m marrying you,” he replied. “I’m marrying you because I love you, and because for the first time in my life, I’m with someone that I know can handle my life, because your life’s not that different. I don’t have to worry about you being vulnerable to someone trying to hurt you because most of the time, you’re two steps ahead of them,” he added, smirking at her.

“Your life is messy, mine is too, but you're marrying me for more than that, right?” She just wanted to hear him affirm her. She was nervous, pre-wedding jitters set in my everything that was happening with her mother, her sister, the police and now Junior.

“Yeah, cause I want to spend the rest of my life listening to your crazy ideas,” he replied, smirking. “And I love you.”

She smiled and kissed him softly. “I love you too, I'm sorry, I think having my family here and the wedding and the FBI, it's all been a lot,” she kissed him again. “I feel better when you're here,” she said honestly.

“This whole shin dig will all be over soon, and then it’s just us,” he answered. “And look at it this way, at least we don’t have a crazy ass stripper to deal with,” he added, trying to make a joke of his own. “You wanna go through this list together?” he suggested, picking up the list.

She smiled a bit and nodded, “Sure,” she curled up close to him and smiled. “Let's do it.”

When Nevada arrived at the designated meeting spot, he was greeted by two men, strong looking figures that looked him over with curiosity.

He glanced back at OJ, who smirked at him, clearly amused that this woman felt the need to bring bodyguards as though they weren’t on the same side.

“Donde esta tu Jefe?” Nevada asked, turning back to the men.

“Ven,” the man said, nodded for them to follow as they walked towards one of the buildings a little ways down the block.

“The fuck is with the hostesses, bro?” OJ mumbled to him. Nevada shrugged his shoulders, walking past the two men after they led him into an apartment, and he saw a woman, whom he assumed was Madison, sitting on the couch in the far corner of the room.

Taking off his shades, he walked right up to her, sitting in the chair that was perpendicular to the couch.

“Hola mami,” he said, leaning back in the chair. “What’s with the bulldogs?” he asked playfully, pointing with his thumb to the two men.

“I didn't think that it would be easy to find me back here,” she said and smiled holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

The woman was dressed in all black, still mourning the loss of her husband.

“Mucho gusto,” he replied, shaking her hand. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, you know,” he added, smirking softly.

“I assure you, I'm not afraid of you,” she nodded and the men left without a word. She eyed OJ, “Hello,” she smiled warmly.

“Could’ve fooled the shit outta me, you hide back here, sent two pit bulls outside instead of just coming up and shaking my hand,” he mused, shrugging one shoulder before he gestured to the man a good distance behind him. “That's my right, OJ...we were already going over to Sugar Hill to check it out. Don’t know if Jasper told you, pero we had a little incident a while back. Whole neighborhood was shot to shit.”

“Excuse me for being cautious but I just recently buried my husband for not being careful,” she said with a straight face. “I've been told I'm not very welcome here by the other Jefes, so I'm playing it safe for now.”

“Bueno, mija, I can understand that, pero you don’t have anything to worry about. Those other Jefes answer to me. They’re not gonna fuck with you,” he answered. “Sorry to hear about your husband. We just buried our father not too long ago so...I get it. Pero you don’t need to be careful around me. We’re all on the same side. Besides, if they heard about how this meeting started out...they won’t, trust me, but if they did it would only make them think they’re right about you,” he said softly.

Giving her a disarming smile, he stood and offered her a hand.

“Bueno, vamos. I’ll show your new neighborhood,” he offered.

She nodded, standing, “Just let me send off Jaxon with his nanny.” She gestured for them to follow. “Make yourselves at home, I'll only be a moment.”

She came back with a little boy, about five or six, who grinned when he saw new faces. He ran right up to Nevada, extending a hand. Trujillo smirked and squatted in front of him, taking the boy’s hand gently and shaking it.

“Hola mijo. Me llamo Nevada, y tu, como te llamas?” he asked.

“Mommy! He talks Spanish like daddy!” He shouted in excitement. “I'm Jaxon! Are you my friend?”

“Si, mijo, I’m a friend of your mom’s. How old are you Jaxon?” he asked, still smirking.

“I'm five, I was born on July first, I like the color red and ninja turtles!” He jumped up and down excitedly. “My daddy and I used to build cars together. I helped made my very own engine. Right mommy?”

“Wow, hey that’s pretty cool,” Nevada replied, chuckling at the little boy. “I got a daughter who’s five, maybe I’ll bring her by some time, you guys can play together. How does that sound?” he asked.

His eyes lit up at the thought of a new friend. “Cool!” He grinned and hopped off of Nevada's lap.

“I gotta go to work baby,” Maddison said as she crouched down, holding out her pinkie. “I love you little bear.”

“I love you mama bear,” he linked pinkies with her and kissed her before running to the nanny.

“He’s cute,” Nevada mused, still smirking as he stood upright again. “He your only one?” he asked.

“Yes, we were trying for another and had just succeeded, but when my husband died the stress was too much.” She shrugged, “the world gives us only what we can handle.”

“Sorry to hear that too. My uh...mi esposa, she lost our first baby,” he replied softly. He rarely talked about baby x, mostly because it was among the worst times in his life. Not only had he lost a child too, but he’d almost lost you.

“I've heard it's much more common than you might think,” she said with a nod. “My condolences for your baby, and your father.” She seemed incredibly sincere.

“I appreciate that...my condolences to you too,” he replied, just as sincerely. “Don’t worry, the other guys will get over the fact that a woman is running Sugar Hill. We’re your family, me entiendes? We all help each other out, you’re no different,” he assured her, offering her his arm. “Vamos. We can take my car or yours, whichever you want. You can tell me all about your plans for Sugar Hill.”

She took his arm, “we can take your car,” she said gently, following him out.

#nevada ramirez #rafael barba #trouble in the heights #law and order svu #cuba v dr

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ellerevelle · 6 years ago

Text

polyamory

or is it just hookup culture

both exist. i dont think what im involved in is deep enough to be considered a polyamorous relationship, because i dont think this guy likes me enough to consider me a person he’s in a relationship with. I’m in that point where I’m afraid to ask him anything for fear of scaring him away. Which isn’t healthy at all, I realize.

We went to a BDSM dungeon party friday night. I admitted to him that thats extremely intimidating to me. New places in general, new bars, new friends houses, new places freak me out and make me feel anxiety. So this was definitely, obviously, in that vein as well. But we went in, and my confidence felt normal. I wasnt buzzing with comfort, I didnt feel myself glowing (I miss that feeling) but it wasnt scary. If anything it felt neutral. And I felt okay because he and I were together. Hooking up with him wasnt frightening or anything at all, I felt safe because I felt wanted by him. It was liberating. Then again, there wasnt a ton of competition, he even said the next day that he didnt really think anyone else there was attractive. So I wonder if things wouldve been different had there been sexier women there.

I have no idea how to feel right now.

He just messaged me via facebook and didnt ask, he simply said “i'm gonna spend the night with my new friend Ali tonight,”

and continued on, “ does that make you feel any particular way to hear me say?”

And I hesitated in a major way. To be honest, my stomach dropped. Same way my stomach dropped when I was over there Friday night before we left for our event and found an open condom at the foot of his bed. I mean, I know we’re not exclusive, I’ve known that from the start. And have been down with it from the start. I had sex with someone else, too. And definitely dont hesitate flirting or carrying on with people when he’s not around. Which is why I’m not sure how I feel right now. Its a double standard, right? That I’m imposing? I want to be the apple of his eye, of everyone’s fucking eye... I want to be the only one, but yet I want to have the freedom to do what I want and not be judged or managed or shamed...

But I like legit hate this feeling now. I hate that he’s with somebody else, that he’s excited to spend time with some new other girl. I’m trying to be confident, to know that humans are humans and we all have different things to offer and she’s not me and I’m not her, and that there are things about me that are very special and that him sleeping with her doesnt negate anything about how rad I am.

But like, if he thinks I’m rad and likes me, why not just... ask me to hang out tonight? It makes my insecurities skyrocket. Like, am I not interesting enough? Not pretty enough, funny enough? Was I not as cool as I thought I was? Am I being TOO clingy now that he and I are getting more comfortable? Am I setting myself up as the hookup BDSM group party friend? Because although I am excited about exploring that without judgement or slut shaming, my HEART NEEEEDS so much more... I’m scared. Multi level scared, like... He asked “does that make you feel any particular way to hear me say?”

I wanted to type YES YES IT DOES MAKE ME FEEL A PARTICULAR WAY AND I DONT LOVE IT. but like... fuck man, like... does that ruin everything? he wont reconsider hanging out with her if I dont like it. I feel like he’d just still hang with her and reconsider ME.

I want to be special enough for someone to prioritize. I guess maybe him deciding to ask me IS showing me he respects me? But it kinda feels like a trick question sortof? I mean... he wasnt asking me if it was okay for him to sleep with her. that part of the message was a statement of fact.

The question was, does it make me FEEL something. that feels like a trick question. Does he want me to feel jealous? I kindof wish he did... Like, if he felt jealous of some other guy I’m sleeping with, I’d feel flattered. And consider trying to be more monogomous to consider his feelings, tbh.

So what if I’d said, yes that makes me feel jealous?

And then like... what if thats bad and then my jealousy scares him off or bothers him or makes him worry that theres pressure on him now and all the other things women do to men and men do to women in relationships...!?! I know he’s afraid of expectations, he said so in a voicemail and has never brought it back up... which I find quite telling. Its clear he’s scared. Which is kindof what I considered, warp speed, before I typed my reply to him on facebook fucking messenger.

Because, you know, conversations of the heart deserve a rich and immersive platform, LIKE FACEBOOK FUCKING MESSENGER -___-

I replied to him with two gifs.

One was a “eehhhhh I dont knoooooowww about this....” squidgy eyed shrug sortof face.

Then the next one was a “go for it girl” wink from The New Girl.

Then I wrote

“ i think polyamory is great, the experience with you has been my first foray into it and so while i have pangs of hesitation, all in all im confident in myself and fucking love our chemistry and feel a smoothness to it all“

I dont totally feel a smoothness to it all. What I really wanted to say was, “just help me feel special. as long as I feel special to you, like, you show me that I matter to you, I’m down with other women in your life. Just dont make me feel like I’m just a consolation prize or a second thought or like, a back burner sort of person. Make me feel special, that you know I’m awesome, and I’m okay”

But I dont know if that would have read well.

With my ex, that didnt go well. I didnt articulate it in a manner he understood and I guess I came off sounding like a controlling diva princess. Which I still dont totally understand but, hey, we’re all biased to whats in our own heads. Our own words and opinions always make sense to US because theyre OURS, right? So yea. I didnt type all that.

I tried to come off as cool. Hesitant, but confident. So I hope that he like... sees that and like, sees me being cool and KNOWS that I’m special. Because I imagine not everyone would reply like that? Fuck me man. FUUUCKK, see!? all this big long post... I’m not cool about this.

Who is she? Is she hotter, funnier, cooler? better in bed? is it a psychology thing, like shes a NEW person so thats intriguing? Younger? Harder to get? I’ll never know unless we talk about it but I’m concerned talking about it I’ll slip up and say the wrong thing and lose this whole situation, then he’ll DEFINITELY sleep with other people and DEFINITELY put me on the back burner and OMG insecurities suck.

I just want somebody to see me as awesome as I feel, and say nice things and want to be around me the way I want to be around them. I want to share and make music and food with someone I love and tell them theyre great and make out and make love and be proud to hold hands at a party and have no one else because we’ve got all we need and aint nobody gon’ step to our awesomeness because we’re royalty. Like having a best friend. Like a beeeeeest friend.

I asked him if shes coming to his New Years Day party. I’ve been looking forward to going for a few days now, but now I’m realizing I wont necessarily be the apple of his eye. I’m horrible at competing for attention, especially in a blatant way. Plus I think it puffs up men’s egos too much to like, fawn for attention. I know I just have to be myself and if he sees me and notices and comes over to give ME attention then thats great, and if not I’m still just present and being myself and thats as pure as it has to be...

But I have a knot in my stomach now. Im trying really hard to be cool while still dropping hints of like, Hey I want you to treat me like a lady and maybe kiss my cheek and tell me its all gonna be okay, so to speak.

I dont want to need to be coddled. But I’m not that indifferent of a person. I want to KNOW how people feel about me.

I guess it could be cool tho, to like... be sexy and sexual and know he’s into me but okay with me expressing myself with other people. That is actually pretty cool, if thats whats happening.

But then why am I having such a hard time turning it around and being happy for him and confident for him and psyched for him to be with other people?

I feel like, ideally, I want to be with someone super hot and sexy and JUST into me, but to have the same intentions of like... kicking ass and taking names TOGETHER. Like, having threesomes or group sex and dominating the room, having everyone love us and fawn over us, but KNOW that we’re a TEAM and that without a single down we kick ass TOGETHER and are only in love with each other. That we can be physical and enjoy other people but at the end of the day we’re the ones in charge, our love is untouchable and although other people are fun and part of the mix, that nothing can reach the pinnacle of awesome that is us.

THAT would be tight. But I dont think he’s in that frame of mind. Nor am I sure that I’d even want that with someone I’m not in love with. And I’m not in love with him. Not yet any way. There’s so much more to learn first. SOOOOOOO much more to learn first.

Our “relationship”? does feel more mature though. At least for me. I am (contrary to this journal entry) much more brave about saying things out loud to him. I feel like I can confess and be more truthful about my opinions and what I need. Not entirely, but definitely more than with my ex.

uuuugh I feel sad and weird. Probably gonna clean my room and pirate some version of Spirited Away offline.

He just sent me a last little thing, because I said “have a good time tonight, be safe plz (implying please use a condom) and I’ll see ya next year.”

To which he replied “I absolutely will. Sending love hunnybunch.”

So he’s sending love...

Thats at least a smidge of ease off the knot in my stomach. I just wanna feel special :/ I hope she knows about ME. I want some manner of authority here. Although I dont tell other people I flirt or hook up with that I’m sleeping with him... But should I? Are we stepping into actual relationship territory?

I feel like if I knew where he placed me in this then I’d have more solid footing. But how the fuck do I ask that without sounding like a total dweeb/ or Nazi / or chaperone / or old lady?

FUUUCK I feel so dumb!

How can I feel less dumb?

No one is gonna read this far.

Goodnight.

#polyamory #Help #journal #rant

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spaceslouie · 8 years ago

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1. I just recently following your blog. And I find that we have same opinion for the most part, or from your tags anyway. This by no means that you’d agree with me but can I share my opinion with you. Like I think that so many people have been too critical about his solo works. We really dont know anything. I feel like, Louis have been so appreciative about the opportunity he got, but it looks like we as fan cant even give him a chance. What if he make do with what he got. What if all this was..

2. the only thing on his hand. He said it himself, limited people to work with. Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it. Its reality. That doesnt mean Louis dont deserve it. And people tend to forget, what you find rewarding could

3. be different from others. We want the best for him, and thats just it.. Why does it needs to be by the other 1D guys standard. I’m really emotional talking about Louis. Like, I want to respect what he do. I dont know the struggle he faced. This is the guy who hates their merch, their early music. I feel like the fandom so quick to talk but rarely listen. I dont claimed to know him, but I feel that Hes grateful for this opportunity. And I take my cue from him for the life HE live. thankyou :)

wow i . . got an ask! sorry it took me a while to answer this babe (depending on when u sent it) i dont come on this blog alot, i kinda just made a tumblr as an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations and to have a place to talk about louis lol

anyways i think we do have pretty similar feelings about the way things are going - mostly mine are just summed up by ‘idk what to think but i love louis and his music’ lol

To be real tho, i’ve been a 1D fan since i was 12, in 2011, and i was a larrie from like 2012 to pretty much a few months ago (not that im an ‘anti’ now or anything, i just dont kno what to think). For most of my time as a 1D fan (and especially a larrie) the culture w/ us has been, for better or worse, to hyper-analyze and doubt (for lack of better words) everything we’re given and told. Tbh, since i changed my perspective a few months ago (mostly bc of solo!harry), ive pretty much just been constantly reevaluating everything ive known for the past 5/6 years and i really just have pretty much NO idea what to think, whatsoever.

When it comes to solo!louis, ive just been trying to take it as it comes. key word is trying, bc 5/6 years of having a rock-solid idea of the “”truth”” (our ideas about the boys, management, their relationships, etc) is alot to overcome when u try to be objective.

When u say that ppl have been too critical of louis and his stuff, im not really sure which ppl u mean or if u just mean in general - ive definitely seen some ppl who seem to be critical just for the sake of it, or bc they actually dont like louis, which, ya, thats definitely too critical. But for some of the ppl being critical, it seems like theyre coming from the same place i was before i changed my perspective - if i hadnt been so put-off by solo!harry, i probly would still be just as dedicated to the fandom “”truth”” and i would be critical of solo!louis like i was/we were of everything else.

Basically, at this point, i think its just habit for alot of ppl to be critical and cynical. Or, even more, its generally more comfortable (especially when weve been telling ourselves for 5+ years that we know the “truth”) to be critical (in an all-knowing way like when ppl say “those stunts are so transparent” or something) than to admit that theres alot we dont kno. Or to admit that louis hasnt had the opportunities we thought he would have/we think he deserves, and theres not really anything to do about it.

Are they right to be critical? I honestly totally dont kno. But basically im done being critical just bc other ppl are - if something strikes me as wrong and worth being critical of, right off the bat, then ill criticize it. But if everything seems ok to me and i have no reservations and i see someone else complaining and making a big deal about it, i guess thats how i decide when someone is being too critical. Thats when it seems to me like theyre being critical just for the sake of it or bc thats what theyre used to. I think its important in our culture (1D fan/louie culture), at least for me in the place im in now, to just trust ur own instinct instead of looking to others to see if things are good or not.

At first i was a little confused by ur ask(s) bc it seems a little contradictory - u talk about how louis didnt get the best opportunities, and then u say ppl are being too critical. But i think i understand (maybe im projecting tho, bc this is how i feel about it). I think what i (and u, if im understanding ur ask rite) am feeling is that ppl want to place blame - we all want the best for louis, and we’re upset that it doesnt seem that he got it. We all love and appreciate louis, so it can be hard to see how other ppl wouldnt and how he wouldnt get all the opportunities we think he deserves. So we go off on his team, simon cowell, his record label, the other boys, etc., and we criticize them and everything louis puts out bc its through them/connected to them.

But it really all comes down to the fact that regardless of what we think louis deserves, we all know that what he gets probly wont match up to that. Youre rite, he literally said that he didnt get that many opportunities, and we have to accept that. No matter how much we love and admire him, we have to realize that for various reasons the rest of the world doesnt (at least not yet). He wasnt the most famous member of 1D, or the one pushed as the most talented, and the fact that he has a unique voice makes him kindof an acquired taste.

We have to realize that he is, like u said, doing the best w what hes got. We dont have the power to give him more, so from my perspective im just enjoying what we get and supporting it in every way i possibly can. Bc thats what being a fan is about - enjoying what u get, and supporting it so u continue to get it. We can wish he had more opportunities available, and even ask for what we want from him in polite and lighthearted ways - like tweeting him about his album, or nominating him for awards (like teen choice and stuff), or posting/tweeting about how we wish we had a video/photoshoot/etc as long as its nice and not demanding. But ya basically we are not in a position to give him opportunities so our only job (if we want it, which, being a louie, i do) is to support what he puts out.

You said: “Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it.” Basically, i totally agree w this and i think its totally ok to just enjoy what we get from louis w/o constantly worrying about how were getting it/what we ‘should’ be getting.

I am frustrated, and always have been, that louis doesnt get what the other boys do, but thats just the way it is. We have to accept that there isnt always someone to blame - for various reasons, louis has had less opportunities than the other boys, and theres nothing we can do about it. I would even go as far to say its not necesarily an injustice - like u said, he isnt the other boys, so we cant expect him to have the same situation as them. All we can do is support him and his music as much as we can/want to.

anyway im SO sorry for turning this ask into a literal essay, i guess i had a lot to say and honestly im not sure how much of it is coherent or even on topic, it took me like an actual hour to write this all out and when i reread it… it didnt make as much sense as it did in my head lol. anyway i do think we hav some similar feelings and stuff and i really apreciate hearing ur thoughts! I hope we both get to enjoy bty (im so fuckin excited!!! from the teasers hes shared already its gonna be SO GOOD!!!) and i hope more good things happen for louis! tysm for sharing ur thoughts w me! 💙

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