#but i kinda want to make another fake dashboard thing

[siffrins-therapist]

I forgot about this one XD

[luvdsc]

haha, what if we kissed? (lol jk... unless?)

fact! you’re secretly in love with your best friend, and so is he!

pairing :: zhong chenle x reader genre :: fluff / best friend, buzzfeed worth it au word count :: 5,072 words warnings :: none playlist :: sunny afternoon (red velvet) ⋆ about love (marina) ⋆ all about you (nct u) ⋆ love (x lovers) ⋆ bella notte (f. murray abraham & arturo castro) author’s note :: i literally just finished writing the rest of this in my meetings today and am posting during my lunchbreak, but happy (1 day late) birthday, chenle sweetheart!! ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

“Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Dream: Worth It!”

Chenle shouts loudly from the driver’s seat, waving excitedly at the camera attached to the dashboard as he waits for the traffic light to turn green. You visibly flinch in your spot on the passenger's side, startled by the sudden greeting, and even Jisung jumps in the backseat, almost dropping the camcorder he was fiddling with.

Your best friend continues to give the camera a dazzling smile, paying no attention to your and Jisung’s brief glares. “Today on Worth It, thanks to a fan’s suggestion, we’ll be trying out three different spaghetti dishes at three drastically different price points to find out which one is most worth it at its price!”

“Yes,” you chime in, nodding excitedly at the camera and giving a little wave. “So if you want to see another riveting episode of Chenle and Jisung going on three dates at three drastically different price points while I third wheel again, please stay tuned!”

“Hey!”

Both the boys wildly protest, but you blatantly ignore them, checking your phone quickly before beaming at the camera again. “So here’s our first spaghetti fact! The word ‘spaghetti’ is actually the plural version of spaghetto. Spaghetto comes from the Italian word spago, which means twine or thin string.”

“Wait, that actually makes sense. Spaghetti looks like thin strings,” Chenle says, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Yeah, basically every language makes sense, except for English,” you remark, setting your phone down in your lap before turning to your best friend. “So are you excited for this episode’s dish?”

“Yes! Shout out to Moony for your suggestion,” Chenle calls out, driving forward before making a right. “If anyone else has any suggestions for future videos, please feel free to comment below.”

You start to explain the first restaurant to your viewers. “Our first stop is called Legalize Marinara! It’s a small hole in the wall place in downtown LA, and fresh pasta is made everyday. We’ll be talking to the owner and chef Johnny Suh about the daily process.”

“And cut!” Jisung calls out, and you stop there, pressing the off button to end the recording. Later on, the three of you will have to work on snipping up the recordings to create a smooth transition from there to a shot of Johnny and his restaurant before jumping into your quick interview with him.

You quickly scroll through the questions you had written ahead of time to ask Johnny on your phone, mouthing the words and memorizing them. You were always the one who asked about the history of the restaurant because Chenle wasn’t as good with the more sentimental questions and preferred the light hearted ones about the food specifically, which you didn’t mind. As long as you get to try good food at the end of it, you’re one very happy, very stuffed camper. You are very much looking forward to visiting Legalize Marinara.

“—and that’s how the pasta is freshly made everyday in the morning.” Johnny finishes up, giving the camera a very charismatic smile and a wink. “We also have a special brew of coffee created by my dad, but that’s a story for another episode. I’ll bring out the spaghetti once it’s ready.”

You and Chenle thank him before going over to sit at one of the small metal tables near the entrance. The place had a sort of modern, yet retro feel to it with an eclectic mix of vintage, kitschy furniture adding pops of color here and there to the otherwise simple space with a neutral palette. The name of the restaurant flashes as a neon sign, serving as the main wall decor along with records scattered here and there on the wall as well.

Jisung stands across from the two of you, propping the large camera on his shoulder in preparation. You and Chenle both take a sip of the special coffee drinks Johnny prepared for you each on the house, pleasantly surprised by the crisp, refreshing taste your taste buds are immediately hit with. Johnny appears minutes later, a pretty plate of simple spaghetti and meatballs along with some Parmesan and garnish on top in hand.

“Here’s our most popular dish: spaghetti with meatballs!” he announces, placing the plate in front of you both carefully. “It’s a simple tomato sauce, but it’s made with organic, local ingredients that we get from the farmer’s market every morning. We get the fresh meat from the butcher down the block everyday to make the meatballs and buy the cheese from local sellers as well. We also add the secret spice mixture created by my mom to the meatballs, which gives it a distinct flavor from other restaurants. Please dig in, guys!”

You immediately swirl your fork into the plate of spaghetti. It looks and smells absolutely fantastic, and your mouth is already watering. You cannot believe that this only costs thirteen dollars. This is an absolute steal. You are just about to take a bite when—

“Wait! We didn’t do a ‘cheers’ yet!” Chenle exclaims, sticking out his fork towards you. You clink your fork against his own metal utensil, and he’s finally satisfied, retracting his arm. Finally, you take the much anticipated bite. The flavors absolutely explode in your mouth, and you’re already reaching out to take a second forkful of the delicious masterpiece.

“This is amazing,” you declare, and Chenle nods enthusiastically, spearing a meatball with his fork. Jisung briefly pans the camera over to Johnny, who shows a double thumbs up before doing finger guns and giving an exaggerated wink.

“Here, try this.” Chenle cuts a piece of the meatball and offers it to you. You reach out for it, but he pulls back, smiling widely and eyes sparkling. “Nuh uh, that’s too easy. Say ah, Y/N.”

“I—” Your cheeks grow warmer than ever, and his grin grows broader, wriggling the fork in front of you. Face burning, you move forward and take a bite. You can hear Jisung fake gagging behind the camera and very much would like to flip him the bird, but you are a professional. You’ll get him back for that later. After all, revenge is a dish best served piping hot and spicy, and you have some Carolina reapers leftover from another video that may accidentally find its way into Jisung’s ramen next time.

You and Chenle spend some more time describing the dish in between bites as Johnny pipes in here and there with some well placed dad jokes that has Jisung shaking his head behind the camera. By the end of it, you both are very happy, and you switch places with Jisung who has a chance to try out the pasta himself at last. He silently eats it before tossing a thumbs up at the camera, and you stop the recording there. After thanking Johnny once more before the three of you leave, you all pile into your car and get ready to go to the next stop.

Up next: Penne for your Thoughts.

“Can we stop here?” Jisung pipes up, peering out the window with interest. His eyes scan the surroundings, peering at the empty space and the wide stairs in front of the spiraling columns of a grand building.

You furrow your eyebrows, glancing at your friend in the backseat. “We’re still a couple blocks away from the restaurant though.”

“This looks like a good spot to film a dance,” he muses to himself before sitting up straighter. “Can we take a quick break? We’re still early, and I wanted to film a quick TikTok before the sun sets.”

You look over at Chenle, who shrugs and pulls over. He backs up into an available parking space, parallel parking smoothly, one hand gripping the back of your seat and the other on the steering wheel. “Alright, do your thing, Jisungie.”

Jisung excitedly hops out from the back. You and Chenle follow suit, locking the car behind you. Your friend is busy setting up his collapsible tripod before placing his phone on it and calling over to you, “Hey, can you stand in front, Y/N? I wanna angle this correctly and check the lighting.”

You move in front of his phone, standing several steps in front of the stairs. Jisung fiddles around with his phone for a few moments, switching up some of the settings and zoom functions before straightening up, eyes bright. “Okay, stay there to mark the spot! I’m gonna press the start button to record. Chenle, can I borrow your phone? I need to play the song for the dance.”

Chenle hands him his phone, and the familiar intro to Doja Cat’s “Say So” begins to blast on top volume. Jisung hands it back to its owner and hurriedly moves to stand in front of his own recording phone as you step aside. “I kinda also need you two in my TikTok.”

“Wait, what? I don’t know the dance,” you protest, starting to back out, but Jisung grabs your hand, pulling you into view, as Chenle bounces over with a shrug of his shoulders, never one to shy away from the camera.

“You don’t need to dance. I just need you both to uh, kiss my cheek on, um, both sides when I tap on them both. It should be the fourth time she says ‘say so’ in the song,” he stammers slightly, face turning slightly pink. He avoids making eye contact as you give him a suspicious look, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What? Why?”

“It’s part of the dance! Now get out of the shot please because the chorus is finally coming up again!” He unceremoniously shoves you out of the frame, and Chenle quickly catches you before you faceplant into the ground. You have a few choice words to yell at your friend and are about to furiously march over to him, but Chenle tightens his grip on you. “Let’s just let him finish, and we can go on. You know how he is about dancing.”

“I’m paying Renjun to put another cockroach picture as his lockscreen again,” you huff, frowning at the dancing boy. “Why didn’t you say anything about the whole kissing request anyway?”

“Eh, I’ve done it before. It’s no big deal.” Chenle shrugs, and you start to stutter, brain malfunctioning, “Wait, you did wha—”

“Oh, it’s almost our cue!” Chenle pushes you towards Jisung as he runs behind the camera to the other side, and you find yourself stumbling for a second time before catching yourself. Grumbling to yourself, you catch Chenle’s apologetic expression, and you sigh, shaking your head as you wait on the sidelines for Jisung to do the move.

And there it is.

Jisung points at his cheeks, tapping them on both sides, and you and Chenle jump into the frame. You lean forward, pressing your lips softly against— wait.

Eyes widening, you jump back in shock, mouth popping open, and the same reaction comes from your best friend when you two realize that you just kissed each other. On the lips.

Crouched on the ground, Jisung looks rather smug after quickly dropping down mid-dance and orchestrating the whole incident. He quickly stands up, striding towards the camera and ending the recording, before efficiently packing up the equipment and walking back to the car without another word.

“Did we just—” you splutter, unable to continue your sentence, as your face grows increasingly warm. Chenle refuses to make eye contact with you, the darkening blush spreading across his face like wildfire. The two of you both direct your disbelief at the same target, rushing over to the car which he boredly stands next to, waiting for Chenle to unlock it.

“Jisung!” You both shout his name, and he just stares at you both, a small grin across his face that he struggles to hide. “What?”

“‘What?’ That’s it? What was that?! Why did you do that?” you exclaim, waving your arms around. Chenle is rendered speechless, unable to say anything after the quick outburst of his other best friend’s name.

“I was tired of listening to Che—mmph!” Jisung is abruptly cut off as Chenle throws his hand over his friend’s mouth, effectively interrupting whatever he was about to say. The two of them silently look at each other, maintaining some sort of telepathic stare that’s probably discussed in the universal book of the bro code. You’ve seen Jaemin and Jeno or Renjun and Donghyuck share the same look before and never really understood it. To be honest, it kind of reminds you of that one moment where the main characters of a chick flick gaze into each others’ eyes and then kiss.

The sound of a text notification cuts off your train of thought and breaks the intense stare down going between the two boys, and you check your phone, eyes widening. “Oh my god, we’re going to be late if we don’t go now! Taeyong just texted me to confirm if we’re coming.”

The three of you hurry into the car, buckling up in your seats. Your hand lightly grazes Chenle’s amidst the rush, and you freeze. You look up, heat spreading across your face, as Chenle meets your gaze, turning redder than spaghetti sauce.

“Alright, you can continue this moment at the restaurant,” Jisung says loudly, jolting the two of you out of your stupor. You quickly retract your hand, mumbling a quick apology, and look away, cheeks still growing warmer than ever. Chenle awkwardly clears his throat and starts the car up, driving to your second stop on the map.

Penne for your Thoughts is simply lovely. It reminds you of a place you would see on the shiny cover of Architecture Digest: a hot spot where all those social influencers would take aesthetic snapshots and post to their Instagrams. The restaurant is quaint and spacious: a large area filled with lots of greenery, hanging plants in simple white ceramic pots, white painted brick walls, and wooden tables with soft cushions on each seat. Once you wrap up the interview with Taeyong, you are seated next to an open window with a great view of a pretty koi pond in the back.

“We serve Korean fusion style food here, and our spaghetti has a freshly made tomato sauce that includes chopped kimchi infused in it. We found that using garlic marinated pork belly makes a more flavorful meatball, which we char slightly, paying homage to the wonderful KBBQ samgyeopsal. We also found that a raw egg yolk on top adds a richness to the pasta, which is similar to a bowl of bibimbap. And there’s some grated Parmesan and mozzarella on top.” Taeyong sets the plate of gorgeous spaghetti in front of you and Chenle with a shy smile. “I hope you both enjoy it.”

You don’t know how else to describe the dish, except that it is beautiful (Just like the restaurant owner, like have you seen his face? Lee Taeyong is the true modern day Adonis, but you digress). You swear you saw Chenle wipe a tear from his face out of the corner of your eye. Practically salivating, you impatiently wait for Jisung to take a few close up videos and pictures of the dish before you immediately dig in.

Fork awkwardly hovering in the air, you pause, turning to Chenle. “Uh, cheers?”

His own loaded fork is halfway to his mouth when he halts. “Oh! Right. Yes. Um, cheers, Y/N.”

The two of you stiffly tap your forks against each other before facing forward again and finally taking the much desired bite. The flavors are bursting like fireworks, and if someone told you that you had died and gone to heaven, you would believe them because there’s no other word to explain the taste other than heavenly. Dante had many circles leading to the center of hell. If you are to apply the same concept to heaven, Legalize Marinara would be the first circle you enter once you go past the pearly gates, and Penne for your Thoughts would most definitely be the second.

The clinking of Chenle’s fork against the plate breaks you from your thoughts, and your good mood falters when you remember the incident again. You plaster a quick smile as you begin to describe the dish to the camera. Chenle chimes in with a wide smile of his own that looks a little too forced, but the only one who seems to notice is you.

Once the recording is wrapped up, Chenle drops you off at your apartment building for you to change into a more dressier attire for the last stop. He and Jisung will change at their place before coming back to pick you up for dinner.

Up next: Terrazza San Valentino.

The place is positively breathtaking. It is an upscale restaurant with open seating on a terrace, leading to a beautiful view of the ocean. Wisteria vines and bright flowers weave their way through the twisting low iron fences encompassing the space as they climb the sides of the building. You have the perfect seat to witness the picturesque sunset over the rippling waters. A bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon had been brought out and now rests on the covered table, uncorked and already poured out into two glasses. It very much reminds you of the beautiful restaurants you visited along the Amalfi Coast, specifically Il Capitano in Positano. You only hope that the food here will be just as amazing as the pasta you ordered there.

You just wish your company was a little better. The atmosphere felt more awkward than the time your mom had set you up on a blind date with her coworker’s son. You had to text Chenle for help that time, and he came to your rescue, helping you escape after pretending to be your long lost son. Obviously, your date wasn’t dumb enough to believe that, but he did believe that you were completely off your rockers and immediately took off after that.

Sneaking a glance at your best friend, you sigh when you realize that he refuses to look your way. You carefully tuck the skirt of your wine red dress under your crossed legs. The sweetheart neckline emphasizes the simple gold necklace you have on, and the dress tapers off at your waist, accentuating your figure perfectly. You paired the outfit with a matching lipstick, a simple black clutch, and some elegant black heels with ribbons that loop around your ankles into a pretty bow.

In other words, you look stunning, and Chenle’s palms are growing sweaty. He undos the first few buttons of his white dress shirt, desperately wanting to take off his tailored suit jacket, but his attire would look much too casual without it. He avoids eye contact with you and remains silent, growing even more flustered by the second, and looks at Jisung helplessly.

Of course, his other best friend proves to be useless again (Disappointing, but not surprising). Jisung simply wriggles his eyebrows at him, eyes darting from you to Chenle, before zooming into his face at a very unflattering angle. Chenle throws him a dirty look, and Jisung merely sticks out his tongue in response. However, they immediately smoothen their expressions into much more pleasant ones when Jaehyun comes out with the plate of food on a small cart.

“This is our play on spaghetti.” He gives you a dimpled smile, and you briefly wonder if the customers rave about this restaurant because of the food or the chef. Perhaps it is a combination of both.

He continued to explain the dish, setting it down in front of you and Chenle. “We use strangozzi that is made fresh every morning. We infuse sun dried tomatoes that we dried ourselves into the olive oil for a minimum of thirty days. The pasta is cooked for sixty seconds, while we slightly sauté grated truffle in the oil in a pan. Once the pasta is ready, we transfer it to the truffle pan and cook it for another minute, making sure to coat the pasta in the sauce. And then we grate some Parmesan and truffles right on top at the table.”

Jaehyun pulls out the expensive mushroom, generously grating thin slices on top of the glistening strands of pasta. The smell is incredible, and your eyes are already hyper fixated on the dish in front of you. He puts down the mushroom and grater, picking up the second grater and the cheese from the cart before shredding the cheese perfectly.

When he finishes, Jaehyun places them back on the cart and smiles at you both charmingly once more. “I hope you enjoy your meal. If you need anything else, please feel free to ask.”

You thank him before he leaves, and Jisung takes all the necessary shots before giving the okay to start eating. You and Chenle offer up some comments about the elegance of the dish, describing its appearance and finally twirling some on the end of your fork. You murmur a quiet “cheers” as the two of you clink your glasses of wine together and take a sip before having the first bite.

The amount of money you have to pay to have a truffle dish is absolutely worth it. The taste is simply indescribable, and you truly have no words. You are blown away by the amount of flavor that can be created with just a few ingredients, and your taste buds are singing. Wide eyed, you turn to look at Chenle, who has the same astonished expression on his face, already staring back at you in complete surprise.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out, and your best friend agrees with you. “Holy shit indeed.”

You immediately go for another bite, and Chenle quickly follows suit. “This is— this is incredible. I don’t know how to describe it, except, except, wow. I can’t stop eating it, and the sun dried tomatoes, olive oil, fresh pasta al dente, and truffles just work so well together. It’s like a symphony in my mouth.”

“I agree,” Chenle nods enthusiastically, swiping another forkful of the yummy goodness. “This has to be one of the best dishes of the entire season.”

“Yeah, absolutely.” You spear a slice of the truffle with the pasta, and the ensuing bite is simply perfect and delectable. “I would come back here every single week if my bank account would let me.”

The stifled atmosphere between the two of you suddenly becomes relaxed at that point, the thick tension dissipating with food never failing to act as the perfect ice breaker and buffer simultaneously. For now, you can pretend the kiss didn’t happen and almost forget it (key word: almost).

“There’s a very popular fan suggestion,” Jisung pipes up, looking at the comment section of the previous video where you and Chenle announced your current recording’s star dish. “It got over twenty thousand likes and five hundred responses.”

“What is it?” You pause in eating, fork poised in the air, as you look over to your friend behind the camera. Chenle pays no attention, continuing to take another bite.

“Recreate the Lady and the Tramp moment.”

Your jaw drops, and your eyes grow round. Practically scandalized, your voice goes an octave higher. “You mean the kissing scene?!”

At the mention of kissing, Chenle chokes on a noodle, spluttering and nearly hacking up a lung, and you quickly reach over and firmly pat him on the back repeatedly until he stops coughing with a weak “thanks.”

“What? This is a food show! Why do they want us to kiss?” your best friend wheezes, and you pass him a glass of water. He grabs it from your outstretched hand gratefully and takes a large gulp.

“I don’t know, fan service? Anyway, it’s good for the views!” Jisung gives you a thumbs up, and you frown at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Why don’t you do it with Chenle then?”

“It specifically says you and Chenle,” he informs smugly with a smirk, and you glower at him, much to his amusement.

“Well, if it’s for the fans…” Chenle trails off, a faint blush beginning to make its appearance on his face. He hesitantly pulls out one strand of the pasta, picking up one end on his fork.

You can’t believe this. Yet, you slowly reach out for the other end of the strand with your fork, twirling it onto the metal prongs securely. You move to take your end of the noodle, while Chenle does the same, both of you actively avoiding eye contact.

“Oh c’mon, at least make it a little more romantic than that. Jeno and Jaemin have more chemistry than you two right now,” Jisung complains, and you would very much like to chuck the half full bottle of wine at his big, annoying head (Chenle also has similar thoughts).

Taking a deep breath, you finally place the noodle’s end in your mouth. Cheeks burning, you can feel your heart rate already skyrocketing at the mere thought of kissing your best friend again. You know you’ll freeze up if you look at him, so you do your best to focus your gaze on the center of the noodle strand. You’ll have some time before the two of you meet in the middle, right?

Wrong.

It comes much too soon, and your palms are growing sweaty as your heart races in your chest at a breakneck speed. Your lips are mere millimeters away from his, and you pause. You can’t hear anything, but the pounding of your heart and the blood rushing to your cheeks, and you finally find the courage to peek up at your best friend. You find him already gazing at you, a soft expression on his face. His eyes dart down to your lips before meeting your eyes once more, and you suddenly realize that he’s waiting for you, that he won’t do anything unless you want it too, that it’s okay if you don’t.

But you do.

So you muster up all the courage you possibly can and close the distance, carefully pressing your lips against his for a tender kiss before biting off the noodle. When you pull back, you finally notice the awestruck expression written all over Chenle’s face. He lets out a small laugh of disbelief before he positively beams, bouncing in his seat, and you sport a matching smile, albeit a little bashful.

“Uh, anyway, who left that comment? We should probably give them a mention,” you say, clearing your throat and hoping the heat subsides in your cheeks soon. Chenle continues to grin like the Cheshire Cat and secretly grabs your hand underneath the tablecloth, intertwining your fingers with his. You can feel your face exponentially growing warm once again, but you still send a pleased smile to your best friend.

“Uh…” Jisung awkwardly laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “‘Insert goofy’s chuckle.’”

At Jisung’s answer, you freeze up entirely in your position before immediately turning and locking eyes with Chenle in complete horror, the both of you instantly coming to the same, dreadful realization.

“HYUCK?!”

One new notification: Dream: Worth It uploaded a new video!

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

oh my god you guys actually did it. your relationship started all thanks to ME 🙆🏻 you’re welcome btw 😘 I take payment in the form of your first born’s name

notanimpasta replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle ok calm down rumpelstiltskin

jisung pwark replied:  @ notanimpasta what a perfect nickname for him. He’s an ugly little greedy man

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ jisung pwark LMAOOOO (and congrats, chenle and y/n!)

 insert goofy’s chuckle replied:  @ jisung pwark what tf no one asked??? 

notanimpasta replied: @ jisung pwark wait hold on you were supposed to edit that end part out????

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta i left it for the views ☺️

big head king replied: @ jisung pwark people watch for the food tho!!! 🙂

nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ replied: @ big head king I watched it for the kiss. Love is so beautiful 🥰💓💞🥺🥺💕💛💟✨💖

jenojam replied: @ big head king I had watched it for the food! but congratulations, y/n and chenle :) 

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ big head king i watched it because ron jeon said you mentioned me

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle IT’S RENJUN!!!!!! 🤬🤬 

mork lee rawr xD replied: hahaha I watch for the food~

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ mork lee rawr xD Thank you Mark, very cool!

winwin in past tense is wonwon!!! commented:

whoop whoop congrats lele 🥳🥳

rapperpunzel commented:

the pasta looks good 🍝

johnny’s communication center commented:

Thanks for stopping by! Come back for the couple’s special discount anytime 😉

baa baa yang sheep commented:

oh my god finally!!!

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ baa baa yang sheep you owe me $50 I was right, it happened before the season finale

baa baa yang sheep replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck suddenly i’m jared, 19

xiao dejasmine commented:

hahahaha cute ! 😁😁

ty track commented:

Thank you y/n and chenle for visiting ~~ congrats on your relationship !!! -TY

junguwu (◕‿◕✿) commented:

YAAAAAS CHENLE SWEETIE 😘😘😘

jisung pwark commented:

check out my latest tiktok video @ jisungpwark to see their actual first kiss!!! and don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe ☺️

notanimpasta replied: @ jisung pwark STOP USING US AS CLICKBAIT

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta no ❤️

jisung pwark replied: @ notanimpasta also red is sus

big head king replied: @ jisung pwark so when are you gonna do the best friend kissing challenge huh 👀

jisung pwark replied: @ big head king SHUT UP CHENLE

honeyfairy replied: @ jisung pwark 😳😳

gu ren gui god commented:

wow~ very cute, chenle! my angel 😊

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE commented:

YOOOOO CONGRATS, MAN 🤩🤪🤪

prince jae commented:

thank you guys for coming by! please stop by next year on your anniversary free of charge (:

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ prince jae omg mark and I will be there for sure ❤️

showmethemonet replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle my new boyfriend and I will be there too ☺️

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ showmethemonet I’m sorry, I was wrong, pls don’t leave me for bts jin even though i am so much more handsomer and talented than him 😌

apado gwenchana god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

[dreadpoetssociety]

I Told You So

TW: Suicide, abuse, kidnapping, blood, death

Note: Sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes, I didn’t go back through it LOL, but I may in the future. Enjoy !!! 

Request: “hi was wondering if i could request a reid x sister fic where the reader gets a boyfriend and spencer doesn’t like him and it turns out the boyfriend is an unsub. i love your work so much!!!”

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Sister!Reader

()()()()()()

When Spencer met your boyfriend for the first time, he told you immediately after that he didn’t like him. He began explaining the signs he was noticing, but you didn’t dare to listen. You told him he was a great guy, and that he was just being over protective because he was your brother. You told him to stop profiling everyone you meet, that who you date and who you’re friends with is entirely up to you, and that he should just let you live things out on your own. Of course, you did appreciate his concerns, but you just figured he was a bit overdramatic. I mean, you were all just kids, and of course Spence would have a biased view on you hanging out or dating someone.

Your boyfriend’s name was Noah. You’d been dating for about four months, he had wavy hair, dressed pretty plainly, very smart, and liked classic rock (Except Led Zeppelin, damn did he hate that band.) You’d met after the death of a mutual friend, Elaine Richards, a year ago, and the two of you became close after helping each other through such a hard time. You hung out all the time, called all the time, merged your friend groups together. Everything. And you loved him. Your friends all knew you both liked each other, and eventually, you finally went out on a date.

School had ended, and you had just got to the apartment to actually see Spencer in it, which was a very rare occurrence. 

“Hey Spence! I didn’t know you were off.” you said with a smile.

“I’m not, actually. There’s a case locally.” he said, which turned your smile o a frown.

“Well that’s not good.” you replied, trying to lighten his mood. He seemed stressed and aggravated, as that happened every once in a while when a case was particularly difficult. It always made you feel bad for him., “We should go do something before you have to go back. You know, some good ol’ sibling bonding.” 

“Sorry, Y/N, but not today. Serial killers don’t exactly wait for ‘sibling bonding.”” he sighed, annoyed. You figured at this point you’d just leave him to his thoughts, and decided to go out.

“I’m going out with Noah then. “ you replied, grabbing some of your things together. You didn’t’t notice, but this grabbed Spencer’s attention.

“No, Y/N, you’re staying here. This guy that’s out there is killing people who look like you. You fit his type.” he explained, “And I don’t trust Noah, not for a second.” 

“Jesus, Spencer, can you stop profiling literally everyone? There’s thousands of girls in this city that look like me, what makes you think I’m the one he’s gonna scoop up?” you realized that was a bit insensitive, and that you probably should care about those other girls, “Besides, wouldn’t it be safer to not be alone? You’re going back to the BAU anyway.” 

“Y/N, seriously, this can happen to anyone. You of all people should know that.” he answered. You knew what he was referring to. So a girl almost gets kidnapped once, and suddenly must live her whole life in fear.

“Spencer, that was a while ago.” you said in a small voice, “I don’ want to be afraid of it anymore.”

At that point, Spencer sighed and realized that he most likely shouldn’t have brought up the experience. He of all people should know that this was your way of trying to move on, and bringing up the past would mostly just set you back majorly, but his answer still stayed the same, “I shouldn’t have brought the up, but you’re still not going. I don’t trust Noah, you know that. Especially with a serial killer on the loose, Y/N. You’re staying home.”

This just pissed you off, “You know, you’re not right 100% of the time. You think you know everything about everybody you meet, but you literally do not. Noah is so good to me, and you just bash him and for what? I get you’re worried, but it’s started to get old. I’m not a kid anymore.” 

You walked off into your room without any other words being exchanged, and had decided you would just go anyway once Spencer left. You aren’t generally the rebellious type, but every once in a while you liked to have a little fun here and there. Spencer wasn’t home for long, after finding whatever it was he was looking for, and you just walked out the front door ten minutes after he did, texting Noah along the way. 

Your boyfriend lived nearby, so it didn’t really take him long to come driving up in his black sedan. You loved his car. It was so sleek, had a brown leather interior, a wood dashboard, and just drove beautifully. If he ever put it up for sale, you would buy it. But once you got into the car, you realized something was off. Noah seemed antsy, like something was bothering him.

“Hey, baby, what’s going on?” you asked, concerned. Noah got like this every once in a while, and you figure dit was just anxiety or something along those lines, and all you could ever do was jus be there for him.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about it.” he answered, somewhat blandly. Almost monotone, like he wasn’t happy to be there. But he was, and for what reason you were unaware. 

“Alright.” you said, “Let’s go to the mall, but not the one downtown, the one off the highway.” 

“No.” he snapped. He then recognized your surprised expression, “I mean, sorry, I just have a surprise for you.” this made you smile. Your boyfriend had always been a hopeless romantic, and he would constantly surprise you with nice dinners, cute gifts, and it just made your heart warm. He drove for a while, to an area you’d actually never been o that seemed to be completely secluded. There were empty fields, and eventually an old house that looked to be abandoned. You didn’t pass by much after that, except for one cemetery and a church. Even you had to admit, it was a bit weird, but knowing Noah, you knew to just be patient. He didn’t talk much the whole time, and just sat there smiling as he drove. The windows were closed, and you also noticed the doors were locked, but thought nothing of it.

“Spencer wasn’t even going to let me go out tonight, isn’t that so stupid? Like, he said some wack about some serial killer who’s been killing girls nearby. I looked it up, but they kinda seem to be right outside of town, like the dude’s avoiding it or something. I guess that girl from the Washington High soccer team got killed, too. It’s sort of scary.”

“That’s a shame.” was all he said in response.

Eventually, you pulled up to another house. It was absolutely destroyed, but you trusted him anyway. Stupidly. The two fo you walked in, and walked down to its basement. You knew Noah really dug these abandoned places, and you did, too, but the basement was full of rusted weapons, ropes, a table in the middle with restraints. It hadn’t clicked just yet.

“Noah, I don’t think I’m really fe-“ you turned around and were he was, gun in hand, pointe dat you, “What are you doing?”

“Get in the chair, and don’t scream.” he demanded. His whole personality changed. He was dominant, and his voice was heavier. You complied. He tied you tightly to it.

“So it’s you then?” you asked, weirdly calm. 

“Shut the hell up, Y/N.” and you did. You looked around you as he walked into another room. Looking to your right you noticed a shelf full of random things, mostly girl’s clothes and rings. Until you recognized one of them. A brown sweater with a tear in the shoulder, folded neatly on he bottom. Your heart stopped.

That was Elaine’s. And you had cut the shoulder open by accident after the two of you were messing around.

“Elaine?” you whispered, “You killed Elaine, didn’t you? She didn’t kill herself, you did! This whole time you faked it? You killed her and I mourned her and you pretended to feel with me? You killed her?” It was now that you fully processed what was happening. Your mind was racing, your heart was pounding, and all you could think about was the amount of clothes up on that shelf, and the fact that you were about to die. The items on the shelf far exceeded the numbers on the news. 

“I said shut the hell up, Y/N” he screamed, hitting you across the face with something solid, which knocked you out quickly, but not for long. The dizziness and pain when you woke up two minutes later was almost unbearable, and you had to re-process what was happening to you all over again.

Until your phone rang from the other side of the room. He must’ve taken it while you were out, and the ringtone was specialized to let you know that it was Spencer who was calling. 

“If I don’t answer it he’ll know. He’ll track everything from before I got here.” you said. Noah shot you a look, but promptly brought the phone to you. 

“Say anything, and I’ll make it painful.” he held a gun to you again, and your heart rate went up. He slide the phone open.

“Y/N?” you’d never been happier to hear your brother’s voice, “Where are you? I told you to stay home, and you’re not here.”

“Sorry,” your voice wavered slightly, “I just really missed Elaine Richards. I went to Southwoods Cemetery to visit her.”

Spencer sighed, “Please get back here as soon as possible, Y/N.” and he hung up. You prayed he picked something up.

()()()()()()

Spencer knew as soon as you spoke that something was wrong. Firstly, you’d never referred to your friend by first and last name, and Spencer actually hadn’t really known her last name until now, and secondly, Elaine wasn’t buried at Southwoods Cemetery. She was buried in the complete opposite direction, actually, at Rose Hill. He couldn’t pinpoint why you would say Southwoods, and why you would talk about Elaine, but he completely forgot about his case, and sped back to the BAU. 

The team knew instantly hat something wasn’t right when Spencer came back to the office. He couldn’t pay attention to the case evidence enough to put it together, and wasn’t staying on track.

“Reid, what’s going on?” Hotch asked him.  Spencer shook his head.

“Something’s not right.” he said, “Y/N went out earlier, but something’s not adding up.”

“I’m sure she’s alright, kid, teenagers go out all the time.” Morgan joked.

“No, no, really. I understand how the teenage mind develops, and how their brains develop. I know that rebellion is primarily a process that teens go through almost as a way to reject a “child” identity. I know that. But this wasn’t that. I told her not to go out, but she did anyway.” he rambled.

“Spence, kids do that.” JJ reassured.

“No, it’s not right. When I called to ask where she was, she would’ve lied. She wouldn’t have known I was home. She said she was visiting her friend’s grave, but she used her full name and said the wrong cemetery, her voice wavered, but nervously, not in a way that expresses sadness. If she had snuck out, she wouldn’t tell me she went there, and especially get the cemetery wrong when she’s been going to Rose Hill practically religiously. Southwoods is in an area she barely ever goes to.” he explained. Then his eyes grew a bit, “Garcia, can you trace her call?”

“I can try.” she said, rushing back to her computers, the team close behind. They knew not to question Spence, most of the time he was right. They all sat there for about three minutes before Garcia spoke up again, “That’s weird.”

“What?” Prentiss spoke up.

“Reid, her phone pinged off of like, twelve different towers in the two minutes you called her. I can’t track a location for the last hour.” she turned to him, concerned. The team all looked at each other worriedly. 

“We’ll have to split up, we’ve still go a case and this is off protocol.” Hotch broke the silence, bearer of bad news.

“No, actually, I think it’s the same case.” Spencer sighed. He looked up at them, “She fits the UnSub’s type.”

“You can’t be a part of this then, Spencer.” Hotch replied, which caused him to whip around, “It’s personal now. You’re  victim.”

“There’s no say in this.” Spencer had never defied Hotch’s authority before, but his sister was missing, “What do we have so far?”

“Well, we know he’s a sadist, white male, probably in his 30’s. He’d be social, fit in with a crowd. Probably good with the ladies, which means he sticks out, but not too much.” Prentiss relayed. Spencer thought for a moment. Who would you know that fit that profile at all. This UnSub seemed to make a connection with these girls beforehand. The team thought that maybe the victims were a surrogate to a daughter, or a sister.

“I don’t know how this related to Elaine and Southwoods. Southwoods is an hour and a half away, I had only been gone for about an hour, so she couldn’t have made it there yet.”

“Reid, who is Elaine?” Morgan asked.

“Elaine Richards. She was a friend of Y/N’s who died about a year ago. She committed suicide.”  Spencer explained. They were all silent for a moment.

“Garcia, can you bring up a picture of Elaine?” JJ asked. The analyst nodded and did so quickly, showing a picture of a brown hair, brown eyed, thin girl. It was saddening, really. They’re always too young. But JJ had confirmed her thought, “Spence, what if it wasn’t a suicide?” 

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“She fits his victim ideal, the hair, the eyes. Her file says she was smart, she had friends. They interviewed an ex boyfriend, her father, so on.” JJ explained, “What if Y/N stumbled onto something she shouldn’t have? Maybe Elaine was one of his victims staged as a suicide. The profile says he became active a few weeks ago, but what if it’s been a year? Maybe he’s been testing things out until he finally got something he liked.” 

“Garcia, bring up Elaine’s autopsy report. Is there anything about anything that matches up with his current MO?” Spencer asked, “Elaine was found at the basin of a bridge within the water. It was written that she had jumped off.” 

“Uhh,” she hesitated, “I’m not seeing anything. . . Wait. Yes, yes there is. The UnSub usually cuts three lines on their necks, right? Elaine had them, too, but there was loads of glass under her, so it was written off that she’d been cut when she reached the ground.” 

“This means he’s been at it for at least a year, then. The profile is wrong. This changes everything.” Prentiss sighed. Spencer still couldn’t pinpoint who you would’ve trusted enough that fit the rest of the profile, until it hit him. Noah.

“I knew there was something wrong with that boy.” Spencer said aloud, “Y/N’s boyfriend, Noah. He fits every part of the profile. We got the age wrong, he’s a teenager. He knew Elaine, too.”

“Noah’s the name of the ex boyfriend they interviewed.” Garcia stated. “Noah Allen.” 

“That’s him.” Spencer said, “What do we know about him?”

“Well, his parents are divorced, his mother lives somewhere in California while his father- oh geez. His father has a history of abuse towards his second ex-wife, who,” she stopped, “this poor kid. His second ex wife committed suicide after trying to file multiple reports of abuse towards her and Noah about three years ago. His father was finally convicted a year ago and sentenced to life in prison.” 

“That must’ve been the trigger. He blames her for his father being sent away.” Hotch said.

“But why would he be angry? Wouldn’t he be happy to see his abuser in prison?” Garcia asked.

“He’s lived with his father his whole life. Most likely he’d developed some kind of Stockholm Syndrome or was manipulated into thinking that’s how life was. He thinks his father can do no wrong.” Morgan said.

“But what’s this have to do with Southwoods? She wouldn’t have made it that far, and something tells me they were already at their destination.” JJ asked.

“Who owns Southwoods?” Spencer asked.

“Let me see. . . The Burke Family. They also own funeral homes.” Garcia said.

“Do they own any other cemeteries?” 

“Yes, one, Marshall Fields Cemetery. It’s in a more secluded area. It was considered completely full a few months ago.” she replied.

“Garcia, are there any properties around there that Noah’s family would’ve owned? Even a family friend?” Morgan jumped in.

“His uncle owned a house about a mile and a half up the road. It’s the only house in a two mile radius. It was foreclosed a few years ago and hasn’t been bought or even kept up since.” she said, “I’m sending you the address now.” 

“Let’s go.” Hotch demanded. The team ran to the garage and jumped into the SUV’s, but Hotch stopped Spencer beforehand, “You know you could get in trouble for this. This case is too personal.”

‘“I really don’t even care.” Spencer answered, quite informally. Hotchner sighed, and let him go.

()()()()()() 

It’d been a few hours by this point. You were beaten up, bloody, concussed probably. Noah had used a whole slew of different objects to torture you, pipes, knives, anything he could find. You could barely stay awake, but he wouldn’t let you fall asleep.

“I’m not going to let you die, yet.” he said with a twisted smile, “That ruins all the fun.” 

“They’ll come for you.” you replied faintly, blood dripping from your mouth. He yanked your head back by your hair, which caused a deafening wail from the bottom of your throat.

“They won’t find me. If they could, they would’ve by now.” he giggled. He tightened your wrists until you almost couldn’t feel your hands. Your shoulders were sore from being tied behind your back, but that didn’t amount to the pain in the rest of your body. You bleeding out practically everywhere, you could feel the start of every bruise forming, your head spun and pounded, and you were convinced you had a few broken ribs at least. 

“W-why?” you huffed out with tears.

“Why? Why? I’ll tell you why. I spent my whole life looking up to my father, but it’s women like you who ruin men’s lives. And for what? For attention? For power? You’ll never be on the same playing field, but the system is so messed up that it threw my father in prison for something that wasn’t his fault. He didn’t make Brenda kill herself, she did that on her own. And her reasoning? How she cried about him abusing us?” he let out a posh laugh, “That’s just how the world is. She should’ve known her place like I knew mine. And should’ve never spoken for me.” 

“Why me?” your face twisted in pain as you spoke, but if you were going to die, you at east had to know.

“I just told you!” he slapped you, causing you to sob, “It’s stupid women like you, Y/N. You just exist to ruin lives, and I’m going to stop you before you start.” 

But the door upstairs burst open just then, causing him to look. You smiled mischieviously, “They’re here. You better let them get to you before I do.” you threatened. It was an empty threat of course, given your state, but you felt so much rage that you honestly thought you might’ve killed him, too, which scared you.

“Noah Allen, FBI!” you recognized Emily’s voice, and it was like music to your ears. 

Noah had moved towards you and covered your mouth, holding a gun to your head, waiting for them to come down stairs. You watched frantically as you saw JJ and Morgan step carefully down.

“Noah, drop your weapon.” JJ demanded. At this point, Spencer, Hotch, and Prentiss joined them after hearing JJ speak. Spencer’s expression was horrified, and angry. 

“Death is an honor, you know.” Noah taunted as he pulled your head slightly back. 

“Noah, you don’t have to do this. If you cooperate, we can lessen your sentence, and we can negotiate a deal for your father.” Hotch said. Noah’s head turned slightly.

“That’s not how the system works and you know it. You’re lying!” he yelled.

“That’s not how the system works for civilians. I’m the Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. I can pull some strings, but only if you let her go.” he said. Spencer was surprised, Hotch never really used lying as a coercion, but he understood that all this boy wanted was his father to be free, and that he wasn’t a rational thinker. He’d fall for it.

“Swear? Swear on God?” Noah asked.

“Yes, Noah, I swear on God.” Hotch said. The boy lowered his weapon and came closer, but was startled when Morgan quickly, and not so kindly cuffed him.

“What? What are you doing?” he yelled out.

“Noah Allen, you are under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer quest-“

“What the hell! You lied! I’ll kill you for ly-“

“Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.” and with that Morgan walked him out with a few other backup, while the rest of the BAU rushed towards you.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Can you hear me? What hurts?” Spencer asked questions at about a mile a minute, but you ignored them.

“I g-guess,” you painfully said, “I guess this is that part where you say ‘I told you so.’ huh?” 

“Y/N, I don’t care about that.” he said, holding your face trying to check for any signs of concussions, that were definitely there, while Prentiss and JJ worked on getting you untied. One you were, you tried to stand up, stupidly.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Hotch said as you almost fell and hit the floor, “take it easy.”

You had your arm wrapped around Spencer while JJ had her hand pressed on your upper back and above your chest to keep you balanced.

“Heh, so humble.” were your last words before blacking out.

“A medic! Somebody get a medic, goddammit!” Spencer yelled, as he and JJ slowly followed you to the door, “Y/N? Stay awake.” 

()()()()()()

You woke up with bright white lines shining in your eyes. Confused you tried to sit up, but painfully failed.

“Y/N? Wait, Y/N, no, no, no, no, no, lay down.” you heard Morgan’s voice and felt him slowly and gently push you back down to the pillow, “How you feeling, kiddo?”

“Like sunshine.” you mumbled sarcastically. You heard Spencer chuckle, “I’m sorry. You were right.”

“Y/N, it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re safe now.” he said. His face dropped, “Y/N, I’m honestly impressed by the hints you gave us. It was clever, and you just saved a bunch of lives.”

“They’re going to have to question you soon. They don’t care what condition you’re in.” Morgan stated.

“I don’t even really remember.” you whispered, eyes closing from exhaustion. 

“They’ll do a cognitive interview with you, then. It won’t be fun. But for now, get some rest.” Spencer knew that it didn’t matter what he said anyway, because you were already half way asleep. He was glad that you were falling asleep on your own accord, rather than from being knocked out or drugged up, and smiled at you. He swore then to do better at keeping you safe, and also not to underestimate you, either. How you knew that he would pick up on something as simple as a last name and a cemetery chain was beyond him, but it made him realize that you were actually much smarter than you ever let off. He patted your head gently, before falling asleep in a chair near your bed. 

[justherebecausemackenzieboyd]

Sorry Kayak boy it’s scrapped!

Summery:Aaron gives Mackenzie a job unfortunately Ben has left something at where his job is ... oops

I wrote this because @madden-mackron and @sugdenlovesdingle broke my dashboard with their reblogs😂❤️ anyway enjoy

“Give it back”

Aaron demanded walking into the wool pack.knowing full well it was the Scotsman that had nicked the tenner from his wallet,when he was in the cafe.

“Well I could but um it’s kinda turned into a liquid”. Mackenzie said pointing at his half drank pint.

“You what?” Aaron fumed.

Mackenzie looked down at the table feeling slightly guilty about what he had done.Don’t get him wrong he would happily steal from anyone,just maybe doing it to Aaron felt different.

“Huh sorry okay” The Scotsman apologised. “It’s just I’m really skint”

The Dingle sighed nodding his head.

“Look if you needed some money all You needed to do was ask!” Aaron insisted taking a seat next to him.

“I know it’s just... well I’m me I guess?”

“What a theft,annoying,obnoxious and childish”

Mackenzie bit his lip.

“Don’t you mean Handsome,sexy and Beautiful!”

The Younger man rolled his eyes,getting slightly annoyed now.

“Do you like being alive?” He asked.

“Yeah..” The Scotsman answered Quietly.

“Then shut it”

“Aren’t we getting a bit off topic here” Mackenzie questioned Sipping the last bits of his pint.

Aaron stared at the glass just remembering why he was here in the first place.

“Yeah guess we are” He shrugs.

“Look I can tell you’re struggling for cash so if you want you can come and work at the scrapyard”

Mackenzie’s eyes Lite up a huge smile plastered over his face.

“Uh yes obviously I would love that!”

Aaron nodded and stood up from his seat.

“Right 8:00 am sharp tomorrow got it?”

“Got it!”

Aaron turned to leave but not before turning to tell Mackenzie one last thing.

“Don’t make me regret it!” He insisted

“Oh don’t worry you will!” The Scotsman happily ‘reassured’.

Great what had he just gotten himself into.

————

Mackenzie was early Aaron had gone in at 7:30 to open up, but was surprised to see the Scotsman in an orange high visibility jacket. Throwing metal into the scrap machine.

“Look I made shiny bits!” Mackenzie proclaimed happily. Looking very pleased with himself.

The Dingle was slightly amused by how much fun the Scott was actually having.Kind of odd if you asked him. Then again it was Mackenzie after all.

“You know I didn’t need you in till 8 remember”. Aaron reminded.

Mackenzie rolled his eyes.

“It’s Fine besides I had time to crush that random car that was in the way”

Aaron’s face had a confused look on it. Clearly something wasn’t very right about what he had just said.

“Car? What car?” He questioned.

“Uh the sliver one?” Mackenzie Answered,looking even more confused than Aaron.

Their was silence for a few seconds before Aaron had realised what Mackenzie had done.

Now Aaron wasn’t too keen on Ben especially after last night.When he drove up to the scrapyard which he shouldn’t have been doing. followed him and drunkly insisting that he didn’t show up for their ‘date’. Which ended in Aaron telling him to do one and come back for his car tomorrow. when he was sober enough, to drive it.

Unfortunately their was no longer any car to collect as Mackenzie had just crushed it! Aaron was struggling with what to do now, but I mean it’s not like the Scotsman knew!

“Aaron you okay?” Mackenzie questioned feeling slightly concerned.

So it He he thought what did he owe that bastard if anything he deserved it!

“Aaron?” The Scotsman tried again.

Aaron shrugged then smiled. “Yeah fine just keep working I’ll check back later” He said walking into the cabin,To get on with some invoices.

The Scotsman Just stood looking even more puzzled.Then realisation hit him.

That car belonged to ‘Kayak prick’!

—————

Later that afternoon their was a very loud angry hungover man at the scrapyard...

“What happened to my car!”

Ben had made it onto the seen,staring at the remains of his car.

“Oh that was yours?” Mackenzie asked smugly,appearing behind him.

Ben looked at him rage appearing into his eyes.

“You!” He shouted pointing at him directly. “This was your doing wasn’t it!”

“Yeah sorry you know how it is when sometimes you just wanna rip somethings clothes off” He said smugly. “Or in this case it’s pieces”

“Why you! Ugh I’m calling the police” the Kayak instructor raged,walking away.Pulling his phone out to make a call”

“Yeah try it!” Mackenzie challenged.

“And stay away from Aaron you creep!” He said flipping him off before getting back to work.

—————

“How did he take it?”

Aaron questioned as he and the Scotsman Walked into the mill,sitting down with a well earned beer.

“Oh you know like you would if your car got crushed... so like that”

“We should pay him off for it you know”

Aaron suggested.

“What so it’s coming out of my wages?”

The Scotsman questioned slightly worried.

“Pfft no!”Aaron laughed slightly. “it doesn’t matter just if the police come knocking we have papers to ‘prove’ he wanted it scrapping”

Mackenzie smiled raising an eyebrow.

“You faked some paperwork! Classic Dingle!” He teased. “Nice work Honey!”

“Not to bad work either Boyd” Aaron praised. “You’re hired”

“Great let’s talk wages how do you feel about £2,000 an hour!

Needless to say it didn’t look like Mackenzie, would be looking for another job anytime soon. At least we hope so.

[sunshinejihyun]

35. Tim and MC please?!?! Love you tons!!

@kingkassam asked: 35. (I’m in love with my best friend) Tim and MC please?!?! Love you tons!!

Author’s note: Babe, thank you so much for your patience with me while waiting for me to write this (and answering some of my questions about season 1 since I haven’t played in forever). I love you so much and I hope you like this!

Warnings: Jen’s kinda a jerk? but other than that nothing

Summary: A year and a half after leaving the villa, Tim reevaluates his relationship

Word count: 2520

Masterlist

When Stars Align, They Burn Bright

A year and a half after Tim and Jen had won second place on Love Island, he was seated on a couch next to Jen, watching the season he was on for the first time since they had left the villa. It wasn’t that they avoided watching the show, they just wanted to live in the moment, get to know each other outside of the villa.

The villa was so different from the outside world; in the villa there were only so many options and everyone got along. Everyone was hot and kind of attracted to each other so it was easy to find someone you wanted to spend time with in there. But outside… proved to be more difficult. Jen’s parents didn’t like Tim and she wanted him to be someone he’s not. Sure, he’d put on a tie for a nice night out if needed but that wasn’t him on a normal day. They had their ups and downs, but it was Jen’s idea to watch their season. To watch them ‘reconnect’ for the first time and see them fall in love on screen.

But now, Jen was looking at him with the most horrified face he could imagine. The Tim on screen was currently narrating what happened during Cherrygate when his best friend found Levi and Cherry kissing right after a recoupling. Tim was smiling at the camera and rubbing the back of his neck. “At that moment, I swear it’s like everything hit me at once and in my brain I was like ‘mate, I’m in love with my best friend!’ and when I thought about Levi pieing her off like that, it drove me absolutely crazy.”

Jen flipped off the TV and flipped her hair off her shoulder before sighing. “Well that’s something I wasn’t aware of.”

Tim sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, just like younger him did on screen. “Nothing ever happened, and we ended up happy together in the end.”

“Are we happy, Tim?” Jen’s voice came out softly and he could tell she was nervous. “Because I’m not sure I am, not anymore.”

“Is this because I forgot to shake your father’s hand when we met them for brunch the other day? Because I can-”

“Tim,” Jen’s voice brought him back to the present and his heartbeat picked up, sweat starting to gather around his brow. “Seriously, when was the last time you felt happy.”

Tim thought back on their relationship and sure, there were laughs here and there and Jen didn’t make him miserable, but the last time he was truly happy and not just going through the motions was probably about half a year of being outside of the villa.

The last year wasn’t horrible, not in the slightest, but all they were doing was staying together because it’s what everyone expected from them and they still liked the other enough, but they fell out of love a long time ago. Both of them knew it, yet no one wanted to admit it.

His silence hung in the room and Jen got up, wiping her sweaty palms on the leggings she was wearing. “That silence answers more than you could ever know.” Smiling softly at Tim, she moved to leave the living room. “I think this is the end of us, Tim. You don’t have to move out right away but also… please don’t linger.”

Tim couldn’t fault Jen for asking him to leave; this was her apartment originally, it’d be silly for her to move out and him to stay and so he pulled out his phone and dialed the one number of the person he knew would take him in, no questions asked.

“Hello?” Her voice was quiet, like how it used to sound when he’d wake her up from a nap on the sun loungers in the villa. “Tim?”

“Hey mate, how was your nap?” Tim teased and she giggled on the other end.

“Great before some monster woke me up!” She readjusted herself and sat up. “Are you ok? You don’t normally call me out of the blue.” “Actually…” He trailed off not knowing how to start explaining things. “Wanna have a sleepover every night for an unknown amount of time?”

“Excuse me?” She was taken aback, Tim could tell by the way she laughed and he nervously laughed along as she questioned him. “What’s going on?”

“I think Jen and I broke up?” Reality was crashing down all around him and Tim felt himself start to break. “And I really need to spend time with a friend right now.”

“Oh Tim,” the tone of pity escaping her lips did nothing for him and a sob tore out of his throat. “When do you need me to pick you up? As soon as you need me, I’m there.” So, they planned that she would pick him up in three days and he was allowed to stay in her flat as long as he needed, all he needed was to buy some groceries from time to time.

After they finished their conversation, Tim started packing up his things, tentatively walking around Jen’s apartment while trying to gather up everything without running into her. He still had boxes left over from when he moved in and since Jenn didn’t like most of his decorating, all he really had to pack was some clothes and notebooks that held all the raps he wrote inside.

Sleeping on the uncomfortable leather couch Jen’s parents bought her for the next two night’s would be hell, but what got Tim through it was thinking about how he got to see his best friend soon.

When she pulled her car in front of the apartment complex later that week, it’s like a weight lifted off Tim’s shoulders and when she jumped out the car and wrapped her arms around his waist, Tim felt like a piece of his heart was put back in place.

“Oh my gosh I missed you so much.” He whispered, burying his head in her soft hair and she squeezed him tighter.

“I missed you too, Timye.” She responded, a teasing lilt in her voice as she brought back the nickname she gave him in the Villa. “Do you mind driving for a bit? I drove a long way here and I’m knackered. I need a little nap.”

Tim caught the car keys in his hand as she tossed them to him before bending to pick up a box full of clothes. “Yeah of course, I appreciate you coming to get me. Not many people would, to be honest.”

“Is that who I think it is?” Jen called out from the balcony and waved down at the girl standing next to Tim. “How’ve you been? It’s been forever hun!”

“I’m pretty good, yeah! Tim and I are gonna have a sleepover for a while! How are you, babe?” Tim saw Jen’s genuine smile drop off her face and get replaced with one of the fake ones, like the smile you plastered on your face when you ran into someone in the grocery store from primary school you never got along with but knew enough to exchange pleasantries. His stomach dropped as Jen’s cup of water got bumped by her elbow and the water poured over the railing, splashing onto his best friend.

“Oops, sorry hun! My mistake!” Jen nonchalantly waved off what she did and continued on. “I’m good, Levi’s gonna come visit me soon, want me to tell him you said hi?”

“Er, no that’s okay thanks, we’re not together anymore and haven’t really talked since we split.” Tim felt the girl stiffen next to him and he hurriedly moved to rush her to the car. “I think we need to go, we have a long drive and don’t want to be driving all night. Come on, I’ve got some spare clothes you can change into.” Without looking at Jen, Tim grabbed his last few boxes and shoved them haphazardly into the back of the car and jumped into the driver's seat. Glancing at the girl in a soaking wet tee shirt, he gestured to all his boxes in the back. “Go on mate, you’re soaked. Take some of my clothes for now.”

“Thanks,” she replied before unbuckling and leaning on the seat to dig through the boxes. Tim had to keep his eyes on the road and not think about the fact if he looked over to his left that her bum would be right there in his view, but telling himself not to think about that caused him to think about it more than not. It was a relief when she turned and sat herself back in her seat.

When Tim turned to steal a glance at her, her shirt was off and she was working on flipping one of his gray tees the right way. The car swerved as Tim did a double take. “Mate, put some clothes on, my god!”

She laughed and the sound put another piece of his heart back in place. “What? It’s not like you haven’t seen me in a bikini a million times before.”

“Yeah but seeing your undies just is… different.” Tim laughed at how ridiculous he sounded and he turned his attention back to the road. Once she had changed into some dry clothes, she propped her feet up on the dashboard and leaned her head on the window, eyes already closed.

Tim made sure to drive carefully and swerve softly to avoid any bumps that could have woken her up.

A week later, they were both sitting together on her dingy brown couch, her feet resting in Tim’s lap as he gently ran his hands over her calves before teasingly pinching one of her toes and making her squeal.

Once she had tucked her feet out of the way of Tim’s attacks, she turned to him. “Are you gonna tell me what happened between you and Jen that made you guys break up? Last we talked, you were considering buying a ring.”

Tim wasn’t sure how to explain, not really. So he said the only thing he could think. “Did you ever watch our season of Love Island?”

She shook her head no, so Tim got up to retrieve the TV remote sitting on its spot on the mantle and going to queue up the series, specifically the episode that caused Jen to voice her feelings about everything wrong with their relationship. “We were just going through the motions for the longest time, but we weren’t in love anymore. And then we watched this part of the series, and Jen just… she asked me if I was happy and I realized I wasn’t.”

Pressing play, Tim saw Cherry lean in to kiss Levi and the girl next to him tensed. “Tim? There better be a good reason you’re making me watch this. Because, ouch.”

He shushed her and pointed to the screen where Tim was now sitting on the beach hut chair, smiling at the camera. “What do I think about Cherry and Levi? Man, I hate what they did to her. Watching Levi pathetically graft on her for days and then when he got her he immediately pied her off? That’s shit, it really is. But after… when she came to me to comfort and just let me hug her for the longest time… At that moment, I swear it’s like everything hit me at once and in my brain I was like ‘mate, I’m in love with my best friend!’ and when I thought about Levi pieing her off like that, it drove me absolutely crazy.” The Tim on screen chuckled awkwardly as well as Tim did, the girl next to him had stilled, watching the TV intently. “Talia’s gonna help me come up with a plan to see if she’s interested in me, but I don’t think she is. That’s okay, Jen’s fit as hell and has been grafting on me some, so if it doesn’t work out I guess I have options! But this girl... she shines so bright, like a star. I don’t want to see her settle for someone who’s gonna burn out her bright light. She’s something special.” Tim’s best friend reached over and grabbed the TV remote, cutting off the rap he was currently spitting on screen.

“Tim,” she whispered, hand reaching blindly towards him. He offered his hand to her and his heart ached to meet her eye in that moment. As she grasped his hand tightly, Tim’s heart pounded intensely in his chest. “I never knew.”

“I know you didn’t. You seemed intent on making things work with Levi so I didn’t want to say anything and ruin our friendship and your relationship with him.” He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. “Are you mad at me?”

“Yes!” Her voice came out in a shout and neither of them expected it, both of them jumping and looking at the other wish eyes wide open before bursting into laughter. When they had calmed down, she rephrased. “I’m mad at you because I wish you would have told me. It would have saved me from a lot of what I thought was one sided pining.”

She looked up to meet his eyes and he saw sincerity all over her face. “You’re serious? You loved me back?”

“Seeing you with Jen killed me. Levi even knew that. Dunno how we lasted so long outside of the villa, to be quite honest with you.” She sighed and let go of his hand. “He knew I had feelings for you up until the day we broke up.” Without responding, Tim moved so his body was laying across the couch, his upper half laying in her lap. Her hands absentmindedly dropped to his hair and started massaging his scalp. “Are you okay?”

He knew the tears in his eyes would threaten to fall as soon as he met her soft eyes but he did anyway and her fingers immediately moved to wipe the salty drops away. “I just… I forgot what it felt like to feel loved and all of a sudden everything crashed into me at once and I just… this may be stupid to say but I love you. I always have, since that day in the villa that I realized it, and probably even before. I love you. I love you so much.”

She took his face in her hands, and squished his cheeks and he sat up and did the same, both of them staring intently into the others eyes, studying each other like this was the first time they saw each other openly. “It may be stupid, but I love you too. Tim, I love you.”

Hearing her say his name in that sentence pieced the rest of his heart back together, helped him come to terms with the last year where he fell out of love with Jen. But no matter how long it has been, he was constantly in love with the girl sitting in front of him, and it may be stupid, but love makes you do stupid things,

Curling into her soft body, Tim felt more at home than he’d felt in the last year and he couldn’t believe how lucky he got, it was like he got his own shining star.

[megaguardain]

Fake AH Crew: The Bat-Heist Chapter 2

Note: This has been edited to remove James Ryan “The Asshole Guy” Haywood from the story. Please enjoy nonetheless.

Full Story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22719961/chapters/54293320

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/megaguardian

Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/megaguardain

Chapter 2: Take a Night...

“Michael Vincent Jones,” the detective said as he tossed a hefty file on the metal table in front of a handcuffed Charlie, “aka, Mogar. Wanted for assault, gunrunning, grand larceny, grand theft auto-,”

“Love that game,” Michael interrupted.

“-murder, manslaughter, possession of a whole ton of illegal firearms and a much, much longer list of things I don’t want to list off because I have better things to do with my time. All of this in the Lone Star State,” the detective said. He leaned close to Michael and growled, “What are you doing in Gotham?”

“Sightseeing,” Michael snarled back at him.

“Right,” the detective agreed sarcastically, “You here with the Fake AH Crew?”

“I’m on vacation,”

“You rob banks while on vacation?” the other detective in the interrogation room asked.

“You have your hobbies…” Michael shrugged.

“You’re gonna have to give us something other than this vacation bullshit.” the first detective said rather threateningly.

“Don’t I get a phone call before you try to beat me?” Michael asked.

The detective grabbed Michael by the collar and lifted him out of the chair, “Listen to me scumbag,” the detective growled, “You’re gonna tell us why you’re really here and where your crew is or we’re gonna give you to-”

“Detective,” a woman’s voice said with authoritative tone. Everyone looked at the entrance to the interrogation room to see a woman with greying black hair wearing a trench coat with a gun and badge strapped to her belt.

“Uhhhh….Commissh?” the detective holding Michael asked, not putting the criminal down. The Commissioner looked at the detectives, then at Michael, then back at the detectives.

“He’s on his way,” she said before leaving.

“Who’s on his way? My lawyer?” Michael asked as the detective put him back in the chair, “Is it my dad?” he called as the detectives let the room and closed the door. Michael sat in silence or a moment before saying “Maybe it’s my mom,”

“Okay, you a get a million dollars but every piece of furniture you interact with is that breakaway stunt furniture from movies,” a British man with a large nose said. He wore a blue dress shirt and pants, sunglasses were holstered to a pocket on his chest. He sat in the passenger seat of a car parked across the street from a garage entrance. Above the garage door it said GCPD Parking.

“Every piece of furniture?” the man in the driver’s seat asked. He wore a white dress shirt with a dark vest, tie and pants.

“Every piece,” the British man explained.

“So, what if I’m really careful getting into bed? Will it collapse after I go to sleep?”

“No, it’ll collapse,”

“Damn...I don’t think I can do it, Gavin,” the man in the driver’s seat said, “I couldn’t go hang out with anyone without breaking their furniture!”

“You’re usually so careful Trevor. You might not break anything,” Gavin explained.

“I’d be way too stressed out that the slightest touch would collapse the table I’m setting a drink down on,” Trevor explained.

“It’d be like the most stressful game of Jenga,” Gavin joked.

“Exactly!” Trevor laughed.

The laughter abruptly stopped when they felt the car start vibrating.

“Why is the car-?” Trevor asked before they heard something roar. 

In the street in front of them, they saw a large vehicle swing in front of them and screech to a halt, facing the parking garage across the street. From what they could see of the vehicle, the rear had larger tires than the car Trever and Gavin sat in, and had a shell-like cover between the sets of the wheels. Below the cover was a large burner exhaust they could see heat emanating out of it.

“Hole….ly...shit,” Trevor gasped.

“That’s the Batmobile?” Gavin asked, leaning over the dashboard, “It looks like a tank had a baby with a Porsche or a Lambo,”

“Why do you think he’s just parked there?” Trevor asked after a moment of the Batmobile not moving, Gavin just shrugged.

Shortly after, the Batmobile began moving forward, rolling down the ramp toward the parking garage. As the car approached the large metal garage door it began to open, rattling as it the rows of links ascended and rolled back into the ceiling.

“Go, go, go, go!” Trevor whispered as he grabbed a satchel from the back seat and got out of the car with Gavin. The two moved to the edge of the ramp as the Batmobile entered the garage, as the Batmobile passed the garage door it bagan to close. They proceeded down the ramp as the Batmobile turned right and ventured down another ramp. The gate was about half way closed before they got close.

“Gavin!” Trevor hissed.

“On it,” he said as he outstretched his arm. His hand began to glow with a pale green aura and the garage door suddenly slowed to an almost standstill and gained the same pale green aura as Gavin. Trevor ducked under the door, followed by Gavin, keeping his hand trained on the door as he ducked under. Once inside, Gavin’s hand stopped glowing as he put it down and the door resumed closing at it’s normal speed.

The two followed the ramp down to their right, descending down deeper into the GCPD Parking Lot. They stuck to the walls of the garage and duck behind the police cruisers parked inside, even though they didn’t see anyone else. They travelled down three floors before reaching the bottom of the garage. It was a roundabout looking base, it was completely circular with a small set of stairs leading up to a set of doors with a sign that had an elevator symbol above them. The Batmobile was parked parallel to the doors, it’s left side facing Trevor and Gavin as they hid behind a police cruiser and looked around.

“See anyone?” Gavin asked.

“No, let’s go,” Trevor said.

They cautiously approached the Batmobile, Trevor pulled a collapsed drone out the stachel. The two looked over the car with confused expressions.

“Where do I even put this?” Trevor asked.

Gavin kneeled on the ground and looked under the car, “Here?” he suggested, pointing under the car’s armor and chassis. Trevor kneeled down and reached under the car. He made faces as he moved his arm around until he felt the drone magnetically stick to something.

“Now, let’s hope that doesn’t fall off,” Trevor said before he noticed Gavin giggling, “What?”

“What was with the faces?” he asked, still laughing.

“Listen, a man’s face does weird things when he’s focused on sticking something in someone’s undercarriage,” Trevor explained.

“Whatever, let’s leg it,” Gavin laughed, standing.

Batman was brooding as the elevator played cheerful music. Cassandra didn’t know why they needed to play the music in an elevator that only police took, but she didn’t really care. The elevator dinged and the doors opened and Batman was greeted by the sight of Commissioner Wayne.

“You changed the garage codes,” Batman noted, the voice distorter still active.

“We had a Joker attack this week, what did you think I was going do?” the Commissioner retorted. She turned and led Batman to the interrogation rooms, taking him inside one of the adjacent rooms. Inside was a one-way mirror window that let them observe the interrogation room next door. The bank robber Batman caught hours earlier sat handcuffed. He looked bored out of his mind.

“Name’s Michael Jones. Jersey native, moved to Tyler, Texas when he decided to become a career criminal,” the Commissioner explained, “Runs with a crew called the Fake Achievement Hunter Crew, mostly they commit robberies and other kinds of theft,”

“Where’s his crew?” Batman asked, watching Michael pick his nose.

“We don’t know, he won’t talk,” she said.

“He will to me,” Batman stated.

“Cass,” the Commissioner said, “these guys are crazy,”

“We’ve dealt with crazy,”

“No, I’m not talking about Joker and his cult, or Pyg or even Ivy. These guys don’t steal stuff to make a profit or plan to take over the world,” the Commissioner explained, “They do it for the bragging right,”

“Bragging rights? Really?”

“Yeah. They once stole a fighter jet from a military base just because someone online challenged them to do it,” she explained.

“I’ll stop them Helena.” Batman said matter of factly. Helena Wayne stared at Batman for a moment, “What?” he asked when he noticed.

“It’s kinda scary how similar you are to Dad sometimes,” Helena explained.

“I try to live up to his example,” Cassandra explained, not turning off her voice distorter.

“I know,” Helena said, “I’ll kill the lights so you can do your thing,”

Commissioner Wayne turned and flicked a switch on a nearby console and the lights in the interrogation room turned off.

“Hey! Who turned off the lights?” Michael called out. Helena heard a thump, “Fuck!” Michael shouted and she turned the lights back on. Inside the interrogation room, Batman had dented the table with Michael’s head and held it there.

“I miss doing that,” Helena said.

“Where’s your crew?” Batman demanded.

“Up your ass,” Michael retorted.

Batman slammed Michael’s head into the table again, “Tell me,”

“I did. You’re gonna need a proctologist,” Michael chuckled.

Helena began to hear a commotion outside in the bullpen, “What the hell is going on now?” she sighed. She left the room and saw her officers and detectives arguing with a man.

The man was about five and a half feet tall and wore a faded blue dress shirt with a police badge on a metal chain around his neck. He had dark brown hair and a full beard.

“And who are you?” Commissioner Wayne asked.

“I’m Detective Tapp,” the shorter one stated in what sounded like a Boston accent.

This is going to be a long night, Helena thought to herself.

“Okay, detective,” Helena sighed, using the term ‘detective’ loosely, “What are you doing here?”

“Got word you arrested one of the Fake AH boys,” Detective Tapp explained, “I’ve been followin’ them from Texas. They’ve been robbin’ all the way up here,”

“Well, they robbed a branch of Gotham Trust. Made off with ten thousand dollars,” the commissioner explained, motioning for the detective to follow her. She pulled out her phone and texted someone before stopping away from her officers, “Why are you following them?”

“They’re my beat. Been tryin’ to get something to pin’em for years,” Tapp explained.

“They don’t seem that good at hiding who they are or who did the crime,”

“True. But someone keeps posting their bail,”

“Who?” the commissioner asked. There was a moment of awkward silence as the detective was suddenly interested in his shoes.

“We...don’t know,” Detective Tapp admitted.

“Well, we’ll know in a few minutes,” Commissioner Wayne said, “Batman will get Jones to spill their beans shortly,”

“Jones? Michael or Lindsay?” Tapp asked.

“Michael Jones? Why does it matter?”

“Batman can’t crack Jones,” Tapp said, “Man’s like ten bears in a human body. He’s tough,”

“We’ve had a lot of people like that here, Tapp,” the commissioner said.

“You read his file?” Tapp asked.

“Yeah, man’s cuckoo for Coco-Puffs. I believe in Batman getting info out of him,” 

“Is he beatin’ Jones?” Tapp asked. There was an awkward silence between the two of them, “I’ll take that as a yes,”

“Listen, Jones is the Fake AH Crew’s go-to fixer. Beating him isn’t gonna work,” Detective Roger Davis explained.

“Let me guess, you have a plan?”

“Eat shit you pointy-ea-,” Michael said before being punched. He was face up on the heavily dented metal table, he was bleeding a little bit out of his nose.

“Tell where your crew is before I start breaking bones,” Batman growled.

Someone about Michael was off to Batman. On the road, his body language told him he wanted to escape. He did everything he could to prevent himself from being captured. His body told Cass everything; he’s a fighter, he’s confrontational and really enjoys alcohol, but now he wants to be here. Why?

“Alright!” a male voice behind Batman called. He turned and saw a men with the Commissioner. He presented himself as a detective like the commissioner, but he was something else too, Cass could tell. 

“Oh goddammit. Not this guy,” Michael groaned in annoyance after seeing who was in the doorway.

“Batman. A word?” the commissioner said. Batman let Michael go and followed the commissioner out of the interrogation room, leaving the man alone with Michael.

“What’s going on? Batman asked.

“He’s a detective from Tyler, Texas. Been going after the Fake AH Crew for years,” the commissioner explained.

“He’s not very good at it,” Batman said.

“No, but I had Tim verify his identity and it check out,” Commissioner Wayne explained, “He’s going to offer Michael a deal,”

“A deal?”

“Yeah. In exchange for where his crew is-,” the commissioner ware interrupted by intense shouting and crashing sounds from the interrogation room. Helena drew her gun as she and Batman approached the door to the room. They got within a few feet of it before it was kicked off its hinges by Michael.

“Freeze!” the commissioner ordered, aiming her weapon at Michael.

Michael ignored her as Batman charged at him, throwing batarangs ahead of him. Michael dodged the batarangs, Batman punched him in the face as he dodged. Michael didn’t budge.

Michael smiled as he jabbed something into Batman’s abdomen. Cass felt prongs pierce her suit and then an intense, hot prickling sensation spike across her body from the prongs. Michael dug the taser in deeper before punching her across the room.

Batman crashed into several desks, he felt his head go through a computer monitor as he slid across the desk tops. He slammed into the wall on the other side of the room. Everything hurt.

As Batman staggered up from the floor, there was a loud CRASH and the sound of a wall breaking. He looked up to see a large hole where a window used to be. Running over to the hole, he looked out onto the street, Michael was no where to be seen.

“What the hell happened in there?!” Commissioner Wayne demanded as Detectives Tapp limped out of the interrogation room.

“Why’re you yellin’ at me for? You didn’t properly restrain him!” Tapp groaned.

“He was cuffed! He had no weapons or tools!”

“He’s part Amazon! You think some steel handcuffs are gonna stop him?” Tapp yelled.

“And you didn’t think to share that information?!”

“It’s in his file!” Tapp exclaimed.

“That does not matter!” Batman interjected, sounding almost like a demon with his voice distorter, “He got out. We need to search for him and his crew,” he said, he turned toward the commissioner, “I will head back to the Cave and see what I can dig up. You,” he turned toward Detective Tapp, “tell her everything you know about the Fake AH Crew,” he said before heading toward the elevator.

Michael ran down a nearby alley and stopped.

“Where the fuck did they park?” he asked no one. Michael ran down the street around the GCPD building, keep his head down and hiding in the shadows. He eventually made it to an alley that faced the garage door of the precinct. He looked down the alley and found a car running in the alley.

“Hey-o!” Michael said, getting in the backseat of the car.

“Michael boi!” Gavin said.

“How’d it go on your end?” Trevor asked.

“Great. Got my ass beat by Batman,” Michael said as Gavin drove the car out of the alley and away from the GCPD building, “What about you guys?”

“We got the drone on his car, I was surprised he doesn’t have a sensor or something to detect that kind of thing?” Trevor said.

“Dude’s pretty confident,” Michael said, “Can we stop at like a Big Belly Burger before heading back to the warehouse?” 

[its-jijii]

bsd character traits

howdy. idk how to start this. okay recently have been analyzing characters and,, i realized that most characters in bsd have traits (mainly one) that are blown rlly out of proportion. no spoilers below the cut i just don’t want to spam dashboards with longass posts 😩

so. a lot of bsd characters can be incredibly simplified and easy to explain. most characters that i can think of have a certain personality trait or something that makes up a lot of their character? for instance, i can say some of these traits and you’d be able to point to a certain character. childish and arrogant. happy and optimistic. obsessive and stalkerish.

ranpo, kenji, and higuchi. it’s like that for most characters, though. most of these traits are normal, or their causes are normal (such as higuchi’s “obsessive” behavior likely being a result of some mix of anxiety and idolization). anxiety and idolizing is okay and normal and moderation, but those traits are combined and amplified, which makes up a large portion of higuchi’s characterization. being optimistic is pretty normal,,, but kenji’s character is centered around being incredibly happy.

now this isn’t to say that this is a flaw in character design, or that it makes characters flat or boring. rather, i think it’s a pretty neat and interesting writing on asagiri’s part. y'know that post that’s like “if you can recognize a character by their outline, you know that it’s a good character design” or something like that,, yeah i think it's kinda like that but in writing instead of drawing? if you can write down a list of traits and think of certain bsd characters, then you’ve got a lot of the character covered already.

that isn’t to say that these traits are all that a character is, but mainly how they’re characterized and viewed. of course there is more to these characters, but if you were trying to summarize something, it’s very easy to simplify things to those traits. i think of this kind of like taking a character at face value. 

looking at a character’s dominant trait(s) and mainly associating that with them seems like taking their (entire) character at face value. and i don’t think that’s necessarily always a bad thing! but i think it’s also important to look past those fronting traits and see smaller parts of the character, or the reason characters are that way. looking past dazai’s intense suicidal character and secrecy, you find that he can be manipulative. looking past alcott’s intense anxiety, you’ll see that she is actually very intelligent and capable, but those traits are mainly covered up by her “face value” trait.

then, there’s the matter of how strange or abnormal these traits are. honestly at first, tanizaki or kenji didn’t stand out as “extreme” anything,,, that i think is bc asagiri does a good job at making some things subtle and weave perfectly into their character. some stuff, like akutagawa’s intense desire for approval and determination, can’t really be missed. tanizaki may seem like an all over kind of moderate character, but i think that it just happens to be that his “extremes” are more normalized or hidden.

for instance, tanizaki seems pretty anxious. mainly noticed this in his first appearance where he was pretending to be a bomber- bouncing his leg, apologizing thoroughly afterwards and making sure atsushi was okay, etc. seemed like he was having some anxieties over the matter. this stuff is pretty normal given the situation, and in smaller amounts is normal. the situation definitely made those actions seem more situational and less like a part of tanizaki’s character.

there’s also tanizaki’s hidden extreme, which is his obsession and protectiveness of his sister (which i also wrote about a bit). again, loving and being protective of someone, especially a sibling, is pretty normal. but with bsd, it seems like these normal traits are just,, blown out of proportion? suddenly they’re very intense, very extreme, and you tend to associate those traits with the character afterwards.

kenji’s “extreme” would be his optimism and happiness, which again doesn’t seem like an extreme, likely cause it isn’t bad. unlike negative traits like possessiveness or being gloomy, happiness when amplified doesn’t stand out that much. extreme possessiveness or antisocial behavior definitely stands out more. kenji’s happiness is simply a part of his character, and it seems like it's more like “him” than an attribute he has. he doesn’t have happiness, he is happy. really fuckin happy. kind of alarmingly happy?? i’m scared of him but that’s for another post.

anyway uhhh now that i’ve kinda talked about the traits and why they do or don’t stand out, i’m gonna just. do a list thing. with everyone’s traits. yes. i’m sorry this is gonna be rlly fucking long,, this is everyone’s “extremes” and maybe why. also this order is coming straight off the wiki sorry in advance 🥳 not including smaller side characters (office assistants, elise, and herman melville)

ada

atsushi - he’s kind of complicated but atsushi seems like a mix of extreme anxiety, desire to prove himself/do good, and babey. he’s absolute babey. most of this is due to past abuse in the orphanage. some of his smaller traits include fear of pain/death, bravery, and kindness. sometimes these traits contradict each other which is why i say he’s complicated. while afraid of pain and death, his desire to prove himself pushes him into brave and risky acts. while he is generally kind and he wants to do good for others, that sometimes means being brutally honest or pushy. (see: interactions w/ aku, especially in cannibalism arc)

dazai - extremely suicidal and fake (fake happiness/outgoingness). mainly, though, is his over the top suicidal ideation. he is incredibly suicidal, and if asked to point out the most suicidal character in bsd, there’s a very clear answer: the suicide maniac. dazai is also one of the incredible geniuses in the series, which surfaces quite often. some of his smaller traits that i said earlier would be that he’s manipulative, a liar, and insensitive. personally i think these are some of his most intense traits, but it also seems like he’s one of the characters taken at “face value”, with these other traits overlooked due to his excessive suicidal ideation/being eccentric. i could ramble more but i will save my dazai shit-talking for my other analysis. oh and i say that his faking expressions is different from lying. one is purposefully being deceitful for personal gain, where faking an emotion/reaction is simply to hide one’s true feelings.

kunikida - extremely strict and idealistic. heavily imposes his standards on not just himself, but everyone around him. can make him easily angered. some of his less evident traits are fear of failure and sadness over not being able to save people. his fear of failure can be hidden by his strict and confident nature. he also tends to act very neutral and unaffected when discussing past failures (usually people dying), which gives off an uncaring attitude. contrary to that, though, kunikida cares a lot! while it’s somewhat unclear as to why kunikida is so set on his morals, it may be his way of dealing with perfectionism issues and fear of doing things incorrectly. if all that is supposed to be done and all of his beliefs are written in his notebook, it is easier to stay to a strict schedule.

ranpo - childish and arrogant. i could leave it at that because that's 90% of him but i won’t. ranpo’s inflated ego was likely born from some kind of entitlement (im sorry that sounds mean let me make amends). with him being a great detective and the ADA being founded for him likely contributed to him having a great feeling of importance and intelligence. honestly that’s understandable though, he is a respectable genius. underneath those domineering traits are strong desires for praise, to fit in, and some motivation issues. ranpo really wants to believe that he is gifted, as he would feel like the odd one out if he didn’t have one. he will do anything for fukuzawa’s praise, which is probably linked to some childhood issues. lastly, his motivation- it’s connected to his tendency to find everything boring, and if something is boring, it isn’t worth his time.

yosano - sadistic and dominant. this sounds like weird bedroom shit but i swear it isn’t. mainly, the sadism comes to light when she’s using her ability or when she’s fighting- both which include her using weapons on other people. her domineering personality is also not always evident, as she is able to talk with a calm front if the situation needs it, mainly in civilized ADA meetings. otherwise, yosano will get intense and competitive, with an underlying desire to win. to some degree i think this aggression comes from wanting to stay in her position in life- she worked to get there, and she won’t back down from anything that may challenge or disrupt that.

kenji - overly happy and trustworthy. this is pretty clear from looking at him, but again doesn’t stand out that much,, it’s an extreme, but it’s an extreme feeling rather than mindset/goal. his happiness also doesn’t hurt anyone, so it’s less noticeable when he’s working with others- it often won’t affect them, aside from perhaps encouraging them or cheering them up. kenji is also, as we have seen, too trusting. he believes that trusting others is a good thing that will always lead to a good outcome. since this is an extreme belief rather than a feeling, it’s projected on his surroundings a bit more. i can’t explain any of his underlying traits or causes as we don’t know a ton about him :<

fukuzawa - kinda tough to say, but i guess extremely calm and protective? i wanted to say emotionless but he definitely has emotions, he just conceals them very well. rather, he tends to stay calm in almost every situation, no matter how bad it looks. he is also very protective of the detective agency and yokohama as a whole. underneath the mask, fukuzawa is caring- he literally never shows it, but i’ve never seen him scold someone, get mad, or punish someone (except post-cannibalism, but that wasn’t bad). he often looks angry but isn’t really, nor is he super strict. his past is still a bit too unknown for me to guess at why he’s like this.

tanizaki - extremely..... protective......... i just wrote about this ik but yeah uh. tanizaki is protective to the point it’s scary and he’s a danger to others. aside from that, tanizaki often seems very anxious, though he’s usually quite subtle about it. like i said earlier, it usually blends into the situation- if he’s in danger, of course he’s anxious. but, it seems that even when the danger has passed, he has lingering worries about whatever just occurred (getting scared at the mention of yosano’s treatment, desperately trying to find a way around punishment for disobeying fukuzawa). i feel like there’s more but my mind is blanking sorry y’all 😰

kyouka - emotionless? again she definitely has emotions, but similar to fukuzawa, rarely ever shows them. mainly what i mean by this is that she has a very underwhelming reaction to everything. if in danger, she won’t hesitate to do whatever, even if it’s violent, all without an expression. when bad stuff happens, she also doesn’t react much, unless atsushi is in danger or smth. one underlying extreme fear she has is being “evil” i guess? or just fearing the mafia. she absolutely doesn’t want to go back to the mafia, would rather die than kill again, and often has openly fearful reactions when faced with mafia members. her lack of fear and blank expression is probably a result of being desensitized to violence and also bad trauma from the mafia B(

katai - tired and isolated. seeing as how katai literally works from his futon, it’s safe to say that he enjoys sleeping and to some degree is lazy. he doesn’t really do anything, which also is a part of his isolation. i wouldn’t say antisocial behaviors since he isn’t aggressive, but basically he avoids social interactions like the plague. he never leaves his house, is horrible at talking to people, and is completely fine being cooped up in a small space for a week with no human contact. i’m sure people enjoy their alone time and sitting in bed.... but uhhhh....... yeah literally living in bed for a week with the only human contact being having take out dropped off? kinda extreme. his less evident trait goes hand in hand with social isolation- anxiety, or more specifically, social anxiety. what we mainly see of katai is during the small pre-cannibalism arc, which also shows his social anxiety. had the chapter not included going outside and interacting with girls, it would likely be unnoticeable. he is comfortable at home and doesn’t have that much of an issue with facing people and talking to them. however, he was very awkward in his interactions with higuchi (talking to her and pointing another way), as well as not knowing how to confess his love for gin.

pm

akutagawa - i’m so sorry in advance, akutagawa’s is rlly long bc he is kinda just. extreme. so uh, desire to get praise/prove himself, and few but extreme emotions. akutagawa’s most defining trait is his obsession with being acknowledged by dazai. unfortunately, it doesn’t end there- his very character extreme, a constant black and white fluctuation with no gray in between. there isn’t much of a spectrum with him, as it will be all or nothing. this applies to his view of others, view on the world, himself, his emotions, and actions. 

his emotions have been stated to be none at all, or intense anger/hatred and deep respect. his view of others seems to also be on opposite ends of the spectrum. either he likes them & respects them deeply, or he despises them. i can’t think of anyone who is in a neutral zone with him,, maybe he’s indifferent about some people, but i believe the majority of people fall into those two categories. then there are his actions, which are overly brutal even in the mafia. he uses excessive force and slaughter, aiming for flashy crimes to get dazai’s attention.

his view on the world doesn’t fluctuate as much, instead seeming to be fixated in one view- the world is cruel and harsh, and there are weak people and strong people. to him, the natural order of things is that the weak must die to make way for the strong. he also applies himself to a similar belief- either he is stronger, better, and more capable than everyone else, or he is weak, a failure, and would rather die than face defeat. extreme! 

mori - lack of impulse control and being an organized mess. by organized mess i mean that he thinks a lot, is smart, and leads the mafia,, buut he also seems not the best at some tasks (darts. professionalism. being a doctor?? didn’t he lose his medical license?) mori’s bad impulse control can be tied into his disarray kinda. this is hard to word but it’s kind of like when he’s presented with an issue, he immediately and casually defaults onto an extreme solution (three way war? okay let’s kill the president of the ada!) while i’m sure these things have been thought out beforehand, it’s his sheer wack presentation of things that make him look immature, irresponsible, and kinda bad at his job. 

chuuya - loyalty and irritability/aggression. while i do not believe we have seen the extent of his loyalty, it is worth noting that even after four years he trusts dazai with his life, despite dazai being a dishonest and irresponsible bastard. not trustworthy imo, but chuuya’s lingering feelings of loyalty do hold out. though not full trust and likely expecting something to go wrong, he still ends up trusting dazai. otherwise, chuuya is shown to be very loyal to the mafia, going measures to make sure dazai wouldn’t frame him to get kicked out. then there’s his irritability and aggression,, he’s shown to easily get angry and start fights with little provocation. some underlying(?) traits are his confidence (and sometimes arrogance), and his uhh,, diplomatic abilities?? idk what to call it, but if needed, he will calm down and focus to talk things out and make deals. most of these traits i believe can be linked to his old gang and possibly how they treated him due to his status as a powerful ability user. some of these also don’t seem extreme- he’s not extremely diplomatic, after all. buut these traits strongly contrast each other to make the switch more evident and dramatic.

higuchi - obsessive and stalkerish behaviors. personally i believe that this behaviors are rooted in a mixture of anxiety, loyalty, and idolization. i don’t know that higuchi has explained her infatuation with akutagawa, but it’s likely that she just admires him a lot. she also is shown to have a crush on him, which leads to the ideas that she’s obsessive and stalkerish. while i don’t deny those behaviors, i think that they’re mainly loyalty and anxiety dependent on idolization- except blown out of proportion and so extreme that she seems like a stalker. as she is loyal and deeply respects akutagawa, she also cares for him and his well-being considerably, as shown by the many times she interjects when his health is at risk. she is very, very anxious about his health, which likely is the cause for some of her obsessive behaviors (following him everywhere, trying to assist him constantly even when he says no, risking her life for him, etc). however, some isn’t all, so some of her stalkerish behaviors are genuinely rooted in a crush. but again it seems like this crush is just rlly fuckin extreme which is why she’s so persistent and radical in her attempts to help him/win him over.

kajii - curiosity. idk that this one needs a lot of explaining? his main focuses of curiosity are of god and science, but alone i don’t believe those things are extreme obsessions- he isn’t shown to praise god religiously (haha) like a certain someone, and obsession with science is already a kind of fixation on learning and curiosity, even outside of bsd. the entire concept of science is the study of the unknown. curiosity is a necessity if you are to be interested in science; its basis is observing, creating hypotheses, designing experiments, and then testing said hypotheses several times before compiling results and data into a conclusion. kajii’s fascination with experimenting is rooted in his desire to observe what happens, gather results, and learn from the experience. he is inherently curious about many things, but yes, most notably science and god. as for why..... no clue tbh.

kouyou - it’s kind of a control thing, whether it be with controlling/leading people, or being in control of tasks/responsibilities. there’s also a protective nature displayed, most notably of kyouka. in that sense, kouyou demands an amount of control over people and situations to execute action. her appearance also gives the impression that she is very specific and selective with her attire and how she presents herself- choices she has made, not mandated by anyone else. kouyou holds the position of one of the mafia’s five executives, and there’s nothing really to suggest that she is a bad leader or that she abuses her power. 

while sometimes misguided and blinded by her own experiences, kouyou’s intentions are often to protect, help, and teach, which are not bad at all. her execution of these could be worked on, but at heart she is trying to do good. currently this intense protective nature is fixed on kyouka, though it is alluded that there may have been a somewhat similar relationship with chuuya. as for why she is this way, she has already explained it with her past relationship in which her lover was killed while trying to escape with her. she doesn’t want that to happen again to those she loves.

q - he’s a mix of stuff, but mainly intense switches in mood/mindset and chaos. there’s also an underlying desire to be loved and to be not used, or “cursed”. q holds the belief that his ability is a curse that he never asked for (understandably), and has expressed that he wishes that he wasn’t forced to use his ability. paired with this wish to not be used is his wish for love- while never explicitly stated by him, he reacted very badly to being told that god is real but doesn’t love him. however, he probably wishes for more than just god’s love. q’s intense loneliness and wishing for someone to care for him can likely be attributed to the fact that he is only 14, has no friends, and seemingly spends all of his time locked up somewhere in the port mafia dungeons because he’s too dangerous. 

on the more evident side, q has extreme mood switches; he can bounce back and forth in between not wanting to hurt anyone or use his ability and then hating everyone and cursing everyone. his expression of these emotions are usually extreme, too- crying, sobbing, and begging can morph quickly into screaming, howling, and cursing others. these mood swings and hatred for others can also be attributed to his status in the mafia. it’s only natural for him to hate people when he only sees himself being used. his ability also is on the extreme side. both in what it is (mind control) and how it’s triggered (someone hurting him) speaks lengths of exactly how extreme his ability is. another smaller extreme that just occurred to me is his pain tolerance. he can be seen joyously causing intense injuries to himself which indicates that smaller and self-inflicted injuries are completely manageable for him.

oda - oda is weirdly like the opposite of what this post is about. there’s nothing really extreme about oda, unless you want to say he’s extremely bland? (i’m sorry hear me out) the entire thing with oda is his lack of emotions or opinions, and while i’m certain he has them, he very rarely expresses them. fun fact but he literally never smiled the entire dark era?? even with the kids 😭 okay but other than his extreme... lack of expressing feelings and opinions.. i think he’s very protective/concerned for others. he of course cares extremely about the orphans in his care, and he also cares for ango and dazai. i think that it can be said that oda’s main extreme is his fucking uh,, adopting orphan children. cause if i’m not mistaken he adopts like 15 kids in beast. he’s a serial orphan adopter. as for why, i don’t rlly know. i can guess that his stoic nature is some mix of trust issues and desensitized reactions to death/killing. under all that he’s strongly dedicated to his goals and future (caring for the kids and writing his novel).

hirotsu - honestly. not sure. he’s actually not that extreme. but, to me, his “face value” traits would be that he’s uptight and overly dedicated to tasks, though not to the extent that kunikida is. he was shown to harp on tachihara for being a few minutes late, killed an entire warehouse of people for stealing from the mafia, and tended to take successfully playing dazai’s video game a bit too serious, as he very formally apologized to dazai for his failure. he also seems to be dedicated to the task of supporting yokohama as best as he can, as he stays loyal and productive in the mafia even at his age. i would say that he’s loyal for staying that long (and he is), but he’s not extremely loyal, as he is shown doing random favors for dazai. however, these favors are usually to help support yokohama, so i guess he’s extremely..... uh supportive and trusting?? idk man hirotsu is just not that intense. intensely mysterious and cryptic maybe.

gin - though not exactly a character trait, gin is selectively mute. selective mutism, though normally a childhood anxiety disorder, can persist in late teens and adulthood. most likely, gin is mute by choice- and selective mutism is on the more severe end of the anxiety spectrum. while normal anxiety could cause someone to be shy, anxiety around others that’s so intense that the person can’t speak? yeah. there are, of course, other causes, but based on her interactions with others, it can be inferred that she chooses to stay silent out of fear or anxiety. she is capable of talking in select situations, and she can talk normally to some people. otherwise, she stays silent mostly, which makes her most outstanding trait her muteness. otherwise we haven’t seen enough to say if she has any other extremes. i also don’t have a definitive reason for why she’s mute.

tachihara - tachihara is another character with not many extreme aspects. what stands out most to me is probably his punk and carefree attitude. while he does easily get angry and violent, he can be just as quick to dismiss it if the situation calls for it. he is shown to be a bit more relaxed than his fellow mafia members, and he seems more into having fun with his job than being proper about things. his appearance also gives off vibes of a punk kid with an attitude, probably a mixture of kinda-spiky light hair, loose shirt, and weird fluffy cropped jacket. his attitude and appearance screams laid back to me. plus he dual wields in a weirdly casual way? he doesn’t have two guns to make his shots count and take on more enemies, he has two guns because he’s trigger happy and doesn’t care how bad his aim is. with two guns you don’t need good aim, you’ll eventually hit your target 😎 not enough known about him to say why he’s like this.

ace - not a lot is known about him since he existed for like two chapters BUT. ace is shown to be very greedy and ambitious. he frequently lies and plots to backstab others. if he’s an “extreme” anything, he’s an extreme snake, liar, and manipulative bastard.  he also has extremely slimy vibes but that’s probably just me associating all liars and manipulators into super slimy feels. as for why,, yeah no idea? he’s just extremely greedy and willing to step on whoever to get what he wants. that seems to be it though.

the guild

fitzgerald - extreme greed and determination. fitzgerald, while already wealthy, seems to seek more wealth at all times. even if it looks like he is bargaining, offering a large amount of money for something, or even randomly gifting people, he has an ulterior motive. fitzgerald is a businessman and would not strike deals unless they were ultimately profitable for him in the long run. his greed can sometimes be subtle or played off as something “good”, such as when he confronted that one businessman. the businessman admitted to the crime, attempted to pay off fitzgerald into silence, but was backstabbed in the end as fitzgerald provided evidence against him to the court despite the money given. 

another one of fitzgerald’s biggest traits is his persistent and determined nature. he is shown to not give up on his goals, no matter what the cost is. he wants to revive his daughter and help his wife? then he has no issues invading a foreign country, waging a gifted war against their gifted organizations, and willingly cursed ⅕ of yokohama with q’s ability, despite the fact that they were all innocent bystanders. as he stated, he was willing to raze yokohama to the ground to get the book. when defeated, it took a bit to convince him to try again, but once he decided to go for success again, it was almost simple for him to regain his status and wealth.

as for why he is so greedy, that isn’t really touched on or explained. his determination and independence can be chalked up to his “rules of success” or whatever. some of his underlying extremities could be social incompetence/ignorance, which honestly kind of makes up a lot of his character? beneath the absolute rich boy is an absolute ignorant rich boy. he seemed to struggle to understand why nathaniel felt responsible for mitchell. he also talks to alcott very flippantly despite her nervous reactions to him (and frequently ignores her warning to not follow dangerous plans). he doesn’t know what it’s like being poor, seen when he just walked into another person’s room in a hotel, thinking that he also owned that room.

montgomery - extremely playful and eager. the eagerness and playfulness kind of go hand in hand, as she is very excitable and loves to use her ability to mess with people and play games. this is evident in how over the top her speech is and how emphasized her actions are (the creepy big smile, her gesturing & clapping, etc.) her eagerness is mainly focused on winning and catching people in her game. these actions tend to blend into her character more than an intensified trait. an underlying strong desire is her desperation to fit in and have a place to belong, which is tied into her over-eagerness to win and do well. this is a result of her upbringing in an orphanage where she was unwanted. having no place to call home, she has fixated on creating a place where she can stay and fit in with others; particularly with other ability users, as she was outcast for having an ability when no one else did. 

steinbeck - though not as extreme as some other traits, steinbeck is above average in attributes like determination and a lack of empathy for strangers. his determination, for lack of a better word, will be used more as an umbrella term for his loyalty, thoroughness, and efficiency in his work. when needed, he will finish tasks assigned quickly and without skipping details. he is good at sticking to plans or an order and does his job well. despite disagreeing with fitzgerald’s ambitions and methods, he stays with the guild and even plans to lead it after its fall. his motivations are also rooted in his love and loyalty to his family. however, his intense thoroughness and determination also seems to lead to decreased empathy for others. he willingly went with the emergency plan, despite his ability causing q to curse ⅕ of innocent civilians in yokohama. he was also ready to sacrifice haruno and naomi for the purpose of fulfilling his mission. an underlying (and not as intense) trait is how laid back and casual he is. despite his jobs being cruel and sacrificing others, he does it easily and with a smile.

lovecraft - very very tired. being tired sometimes is normal if you didn’t sleep well, but lovecraft is constantly exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep. basically every scene with him includes him talking about how tired he is, or how much he wants to sleep. there were also instances of him briefly falling asleep in inappropriate scenes, such as when kunikida shot him and during the fight with dazai and chuuya. after the guild fell and his contract with fitzgerald expired, he immediately jumped into the ocean to sleep. aside from being incredibly tired, lovecraft has a few other feelings (though not as severe): being hungry and feeling anxious. hunger isn’t mentioned as much as being tired, nor is his anxiety; however, lovecraft has expressed that he feels anxious around people, as he never really interacts with them or goes out in public. before he was in japan with steinbeck, he apparently hadn’t been outside in four years. another extreme shut in! a bonus thing that we don’t know much about, but lovecraft seems to be bound to contracts he makes; even if he wants to do something else, he must “fulfill [his] contract”. assuming that he has no choice but to do what the contract requires, once he signs a contract, that’s a very powerful thing going on.

hawthorne - well uh. incredibly religious, and extremely dedicated/loyal. the religious part is arguably the biggest part of his character; he is a pastor, dresses like one, carries around a bible, and uses his rosary to activate his ability (which takes the form of verses from the bible). his purpose in life, and in the guild, is to pass on judgement to sinners and punish them. it is his strongest motivator, and he mainly spends his time speaking to god, reading the bible, and deciding how to use his ability to follow god’s will. all religion related- he’s incredibly dedicated. he is also loyal to margaret mitchell, to the point that it diverted him from god. his desire to save her and help restore her honor was also a big thing for him; eventually, this goal overtook following religion, which is a considerable achievement. i say that it overtook religion because he began working with fyodor in order to help mitchell- that was a mistake, as he currently is brainwashed into following fyodor’s orders without ever thinking on his own. he is no longer using his ability to follow his life’s work and to follow god. more underlying traits of his include arrogance and a lack of expressions. basically, doesn’t express much, though his tone tends to be arrogant a lot of the time. 

mitchell - with much unknown about her and little screen time, it’s a bit difficult to peg any extremes she has; however, she does possess a lot of arrogance that affects several aspects of her life. first and foremost, this arrogance tends to interfere with her relationships. mitchell is quick to start fights over petty things, automatically placing herself above others and asserting it quite forcefully. secondly, her arrogance disrupts how she acts and perceives others. as stated before, she believes herself to be above everyone else. however, beyond simply stating that, mitchell complains about having to do work when she believes that she is above that, too. she thinks that everyone else should be doing the work, and was shown to get angry at hawthorne when he wasn’t giving orders on the ship. another instance of this arrogance is her severely underestimating enemies, and becoming in critical danger as a result. a less noticeable trait is her honor, sort of? though it seems similar to her arrogance and inflated ego, mitchell is obsessed with restoring honor to her family, to the point that she would risk her life for it.

poe - hoo boy. poe has a few extremes: severe social anxiety/isolation, competitiveness, and a self esteem issue (sort of). poe faced ranpo in a battle of wits some time in the past, and when defeated, apparently fell into a deep depression. normally, someone would accept their failure and move on, but poe instead gained a lot of self-doubt and negative emotions. to recover from that fall, he became obsessed with facing off with ranpo again and winning. he is extremely dedicated and competitive, as he prepared to face ranpo again for six fuckin years. he is stated to be reclusive and shy, talking quietly and hiding his face with his hair. his profile says he dislikes noisy crowds and “being invited to a party and ignored by the only person he knows”. in short, he is not one for socializing or being the center of attention.

some of his underlying traits are his mood swings or conflicting feelings about others. though they aren’t super severe, it is worth noting that it happens quite frequently- he was confident when facing ranpo, then switched to a very depressed and sullen mood when ranpo didn’t recognize him. he was happy when he believed he beat ranpo- again, quickly transformed to intense disappointment and feeling of defeat when he realized that he lost. his conflicting feelings of others is mainly evident in his weird relationship with ranpo. he appears excited and overjoyed to watch ranpo use super deduction, but when asked if he was a fan, replied that they were rivals. when he trapped chuuya and ranpo in the book, he laughed in delight at potentially trapping and winning against ranpo in this way. immediately after, he was struck with the possibility of ranpo actually dying in the book, to which he got quiet and a bit scared about.

twain - another character with a lot of arrogance? but also a lot of excited reactions and constantly looking to mess around and have fun. he is shown to be very laid back and casual about his job, not getting disappointed when faced with defeat; rather, he laughs in excitement about someone being talented enough to escape his sniping. most scenes with him include inappropriate bouts of jokes and requests to engage in silly activities. however, he dislikes being ignored or left behind, so he tends to go with the flow anyway. more regarding his arrogance; twain believes his ability and talent to be great. his last appearance includes him commenting on how he is going to go home and finish writing his autobiography. not much is known about him, so it’s unclear why he is significant enough to write a book about. plus, his likes list himself and praise as the first two. a less evident trait of his, referenced in his likes and dislikes, is what he likes to do. sniping, of course, seems to be his favorite- this is likely because he likes adventure (and probably dangerous tasks/jobs), and dislikes plain or boring work. he likely gets bored easily, similar to ranpo, and needs an engaging and interesting task to entertain him.

alcott - most obviously, alcott has severe anxiety, though mainly it’s related to the social aspects of her life. this timidness and fear of talking to others dominates most of her character, and when thinking of alcott, the first thought that comes to mind is “oh, that really anxious and shy tactician.” alcott, for an unknown reason, relies heavily on approval from others, mainly fitzgerald. she has low self esteem, which also contributes to her fear of talking to strangers; she will run and hide if other people confront her. she only seems to feel more comfortable with fitzgerald, her boss, and poe, her fellow shy writer friend. other than her anxiety, alcott is also incredibly intelligent. it’s overshadowed by her “face value” trait, but is still very prominent. her work as a tactician means that she plans, but even her plans are the epitome of intense. using her ability allows her to write packets of potential outcomes to situations she really has no way of predicting. she also writes what to do should certain problems arise, though her cautious nature appears again as she often strongly recommends that fitzgerald does nothing.

the rats/decay of angels

fyodor - fyodor is another kind of tough one, but i’d say that it’s a mix of intelligence and composed attitude. another character with a very limited range of emotions- iirc there was one time he looked surprised, occasionally looks annoyed or confused, sometimes smiles, but mostly has no expression at all. he has dulled reactions to external stimuli, similar to kyouka, and likely hides his reactions or feelings like fukuzawa. one thing that is known, however, is that he is one of the genius characters and that he is constantly plotting and thinking. while he may not react to things happening around them, i am sure he notices them, takes them into account, and sometimes incorporates them into his complex plans. his ability to predict things rivals alcott’s, to the point that he predicts what everyone will do, how to trick them, and how to exploit the mistakes they will make. unlike alcott, his ability does not allow him to maximize his genius and complex plotting; all of his thinking and planning is done in the moment or before his plans are set into action, which is still impressive on its own. as for why he is like this, completely unknown. he also has a god complex, different from kajii and hawthorne’s religious beliefs. not only is his entire motivation to “cleanse the world of sinners” (ability users), but he has called himself god before. his religious beliefs seem to go beyond simply believing in god or following god’s word; no, he is god, and his job is to kill all ability users.

goncharov - goncharov didn’t show up much, but from what we saw of him, his main extreme is his dedication and loyalty. specifically, goncharov is very dedicated to fyodor- he underwent surgery to have “[his] unhappiness removed”, which makes him appear constantly smiling and declaring how happy he became with fyodor’s help. he is almost obsessive in his loyalty to fyodor, calling him “master” and apparently having similar interests (likes classical music, implied to have tea with fyodor, etc.) 

pushkin - again, didn’t show up much, but from what little we saw, he is very ambitious. he found joy in the way his ability was used in the cannibalism arc, stating later on that it was a genius technique and he would find it fun to do it again but with prominent world leaders. ambition is one thing and desiring to cause chaos similar to the cannibalism arc but with world leaders… yeah he must get really bored.

mushitarou - though not quite a character trait, mushitarou is extremely… clean? particular? just by looking at him, you get the impression that he is self absorbed, probably grooms himself a lot (look at his HAIR), and that he is confident. he is also shown to be very demanding, which is where his “particular” thing comes in. he requires everything to be done a certain way, with very specific and high standards. with his ability, he also believes himself to be unbeatable, though this cockiness may have led to him being caught by ranpo. fr if he’s sitting there yelling how he’s gonna get away with it, does he expect to still get away with it?? anyway. i don’t really know why he’s like this or other underlying traits, as our info on him is still pretty limited. i guess he cares about his friend a FUCK TON.

gogol - oh boy. gogol really likes freedom and being a clown. now, being a clown seems like a weird kind of extreme we’re talkin about… but i think that this trait is mainly just emphasized with how outgoing and excitable he is. he dresses like a clown, loves playing weird tricks and games, and frequently gives people “quizzes”. his body language also characterizes him as moving around excessively. overall just a mega clown. then there’s his love of freedom. his recently released character profile states that he dislikes “brainwashing, subordination, being unfree”. all his dislikes are tied into each other and definitely tied into his odd obsession with being free- hell, he even died saying, “this is a prison break! over the innate brainwashing known as morality, i choose the freedom of my soul!” basically, a reality where he must follow what others want is too confining and he would rather die to free his soul than continue living that way. pretty extreme! 

sigma - uh my boy has only existed for like 7 chapters but. we’ll go with he’s extremely secretive and also babey. so, with the secrecy, it’s more like he has very bad amnesia and most information is unknown about him. real name, backstory, age, birthday, weight, height, ability name- none of that is clear, so he is either keeping it secret or doesn’t remember (possibly a combination of both.) from what we have seen of sigma, though, he is very kind and considerate of his customers and other people. he is formal and protective of not only his casino, but those staying at his casino. he has spent a lot of time memorizing everyone’s names and info about them for the sake of maximizing their safety and enjoyment. for being a member of a terrorist organization, sigma is a sweetheart. his kindness and innocence are more traits that blend into his character more, so it isn’t as evidently an “extreme”- but i do want to say that he has extreme memory issues and for being in a terrorist organization, he is incredibly sweet, which seems somewhat out of place.

others

ango - ango is very, very hardworking. another dedicated madlad. in dead apple, ango was shown to have willingly pulled several all nighters writing reports on the incident. when we were first introduced to him in the mafia, he was shown to be going above and beyond with his job; rather than writing a list of the people who died, ango wrote out a biography for each person, basically. he was uptight and against slacking in his job, attempting to refuse dazai and oda’s offer to go drinking, and very against being hugged by them when they stank of death. a bit of a clean freak with how uptight and orderly he was. he held a high ranking position in the mafia as an informant, where he handled much of their sensitive information and deals. his job also required him to work as a triple agent- initially in the special abilities department, then sent to infiltrate the mafia, and then in the mafia was sent to infiltrate mimic to work as a double agent. overall, his job(s) required a lot of him and he gladly overworked himself in all of them.

gide - he’s kinda weirdly obsessed with a specific goal? so less a personality trait or even mindset that is amplified, but a strange goal where he, as the leader of mimic, was determined to lead himself and his men into battle with worthy opponents who could kill them. their sheer determination to fight others with the goal of dying, basically a suicide mission, was what stood out. plus, gide was willing to go to horrifying extremes to provoke oda into fighting him. he believed oda to be the only one capable and worthy enough to kill him in battle, and once he realized oda refused to fight him, kidnapped and killed oda’s orphans, essentially angering oda into fighting and killing hm, also killing oda in the process. so still pretty extreme, but also extremely specific.

shibusawa - shibusawa’s extreme traits are boredom, intelligence, and collecting. intelligence is actually kind of dubious, as we don’t know to what extent his intellect is, but it is implied that he at least believes himself to be a genius and in some way or another, superior to everyone around him. he thinks of everyone else as boring, life as boring, and as such is constantly searching to cure his boredom. this boredom is probably his strongest motivator for most things, such as conducting the dragon’s head conflict. this boredom also might be an influence on his collector tendencies, as i believe they work in tandem in his ability use. bored of everything, he finds it interesting to collect things- his ability allows him to separate ability from ability user, so of course he finds it entertaining to watch people duel their abilities, his reward being another ability gem in his large collection. his collection is massive, and seeing as how all of his gems are from getting ability users to kill themselves with their abilities,,, yikes shibu that’s really intense and hardcore 😰

and with that, i think that’s about the end of this post (thank god). i decided against including the hunting dogs in this, as there is not enough known about them to determine what their extremes are and why. also its 5 am and im kinda lazy :( i wanna say that this post is also kind of like a spectrum. almost every character has a trait/goal/mindset/habit that’s intense and kind of characterizes a lot of the character; but, some characters are less extreme than others, particularly characters that don’t convey a lot of expressions. and like i tried to explain earlier, some traits don’t stand out that much and seem more like they’re a part of the character. not every “extreme” written here is the level of extreme that akutagawa’s obsession is, for instance.

a last note to end on is that i wanna talk about intelligence in bsd. it seems like a pretty all-or-nothing situation for the most part; either a character is of average intelligence or they’re a fucking genius. now, most “average” characters are still witty, innovative, and capable of basic detective skills, but there is still a large difference in say, kenji and fyodor. both are pretty dangerous and extreme in their own aspects, but in terms of intelligence, fyodor has kenji far outmatched. i’m gonna rank the different geniuses of bsd and their intelligence type. this is entirely personal opinion btw

ranpo- on top of having amazing intuition and deduction, ranpo is excellent at analyzing small details in a short amount of time. his sheer speed at completely solving impossible cases, even with little evidence, is what makes him so remarkable. he also is pretty good at being a tactician, though his strength mainly lies in solving mysteries.

a tie between dazai and fyodor. maybe fyodor a bit smarter tho. both are incredible tacticians, and their strengths lie in analyzing what their enemies are plotting. they are good at reading people and figuring out how to best use them, and lying/faking their way to get what they want. dazai is also a pretty good detective. 

i am sad to place alcott at third bc tbh she might be a two or tied with ranpo. alcott is fucking brilliant as a tactician and her ability allows her to create complex and detailed plans, correctly able to plot out every possibility her enemies may take. she hasn’t been shown to have any particular skills in reading people or crime solving, which is why she is placed third.

the debatables: don’t actually know the extent of their genius, but they’re apparently pretty smart and capable. mori, shibusawa, and ango?? i feel like im bsing my way now im sorry LMAO

honorable mention: katai

alright that is all im out. thank u for reading this hell i didn’t mean for this to be 8,000 words but its fine. probably. originally was gonna do shorter explanations for everyone and then reblog with more in depth but fuck it, its all here.

[redbone135]

Fake Dating AU

(I’m posting this here for Swanfire week because it bothers me to have unfinished fics on my AO3 account. It’s the set-up for a fake dating AU that I’m fairly certain will never actually get written. Strap in, it’s a long post.)

“Wait in the car,” Rumple hissed as sheriff Humbert let go of Neal’s shoulder with a resigned shake of his head, disappearing into his back office and leaving the front desk clerk to deal with this mess. The recurring shenanigans of Neal Gold had become way below his pay-grade.

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Neal insisted with a pout.

“I said. Wait. In. The. Car!” His father managed to get out through gritted teeth.

“It wasn’t my fault!” Neal shouted, kicking at the front desk as he passed, causing a heap of papers to fall over onto the floor. 

“CAR!”

“FINE!”

“Can I see his emergency contact form,” Rumple asked with a grimace, “I’d like to add Milah Cassidy to it - that’s Cassidy with two Ss and an I. If you could give her a call first next time-”

“You know,” the front desk woman - who the Gold family was on quite intimate terms with at this point - began while eyeing her stack of toppled papers on the floor, “There’s a juvenile support group for young offenders. Their rehabilitation program is said to work wonders.”

“I’m not an ‘offender’!” they heard Neal shout from the front entryway of the county sheriff’s office before slamming the door behind him. 

Rumple shook his head. His son would never agree to that. And honestly, he knew where Neal got it from. He wouldn’t want to sit in a room with a bunch of other bad decision makers and share stories of his failure while people plied him with cliche platitudes, assuring him he was still, deep down, a good person. He waved the flier away politely.

“We don’t need that.”

She shrugged, “You know, you’re going to run out of bail money eventually, right?”

“Bail money only runs out when he does.”

They both cast a thoughtful glance back to the front window, Neal visibly sulking in the passenger seat of his dad’s car. He’d somehow managed to find a sharpie in the immaculately clean car and was adding to the permanent collection of his ‘artwork’ on the car’s dashboard.

The front desk clerk raised an eyebrow.

“Ok, fine, give me the flier,” Rumple sighed.

*

Rumple had been right, Neal did not want to go to the group meetings. In fact, he had been so vehemently opposed that he had threatened to pack his bags and run away, and that had been the end of that conversation. So they hadn’t talked about it, or his community service, or the fact that he hadn’t seemed to learn his lesson at all. In fact, his family had stayed suspiciously quiet about it up until the day they had decided to all go out for a family lunch at Granny’s diner and Belle’s minivan had pulled up to a stop in front of the little church advertised on the flier. And even though Neal begged them to talk about it then, they hadn’t had much in the way of a discussion as his little brother undid his seatbelt, and his stepsister pushed him out of the car, slamming the door behind him, while his father waved spitefully and Belle promised they’d be back to pick him up in an hour. 

And he had never planned on walking into that church, he’d hitchhike to his mom’s and it would serve them right, but just in that moment a woman had walked by with a box of doughnuts and they had smelled really, really good. So maybe he had time to grab a snack before he booked it to the relative freedom of the Cassidy-Jones houseboat. 

Yes, the plan had been simple. Get a free cup of coffee and doughnut, sneak out the back before anyone noticed, get to his mom’s, and then when stepdad started to irk him - probably around day three - he’d come back to his dad’s and they would have all been so worried about him there would be no more talk about him having to go to these stupid meetings. 

Flawless plan.

And then he saw her.

She was slouched over in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, flanked on either side by two other girls that looked about as terrifying as Neal’s stepsister, picking at the loose threads in a hole in her leggings. She had thick, black-rimmed glasses that made her bright blue eyes look seductively large, and red lipstick that wasn’t her shade but definitely proved her point. 

And a homemade tattoo on her wrist. Intriguing. Neal had done enough homemade tattoos on his friends to recognize talent. His mind began to swim with daydreams of the two of them, stretched out across his bed with a bottle of India ink between them as he added intricate details to the daisy, transforming it into a work of art befitting the masterpiece of a canvas it had been painted on.

New plan.

So he stayed for the meeting, taking carefully timed sips of coffee so that he wouldn’t have to share anything with the group. She didn’t share either, he noticed. Perfect. She also didn’t want to be here.

So he waited for her by the snack table afterwards, watching her put extra doughnuts wrapped in napkins into her purse - like anyone would have cared if she’d just taken the whole box. 

“Neal Cassidy,” he said, extending his hand and startling her into jumping and dropping the doughnut she was holding.

She glared. “You don’t need to know my name.”

“I like your tattoo,” he offered, turning to follow her as she walked away toward the front door. “I have one myself, want to see it?”

“Not if it involves you taking off any articles of clothing,” she said, offering him a smug grin.

“Maybe later then,” he said, speeding up his pace to step in front of her and stop cold, blocking the only door, much to her obvious annoyance. “So, why are you here?”

“Stole a car.”

“Wow! Same, we’re twins!” he exclaimed with a grin, and he thought if he wasn’t mistaken he saw the tiniest hint of a grin on her face. “So why’d you do it?”

“Why did you?” she shot back a little too aggressively.

“My mommy didn’t love me enough,” he laughed, “It’s this whole tragic backstory thing, if only I’d had someone to be proud of me, maybe then I wouldn’t be living this life of petty juvenile crime. I was just one caring parent away from being a scholar and a gentleman. You?”

She definitely chuckled at that, her shoulders letting go of some of the tension as she placed a hand on her hips and shot back with equal glibness, “No excuse. I just enjoy pure, mindless vandalism.”

That was kinda hot.

“Really?” he asked, “No tragic backstory? No evil step mom, followed by one who is way too young for your dad? No little half-sibling that gets all the attention and an aggressive step sister who is just staying with you until her mom gets out of jail? No creepy step dad who hits on your friends and takes money out of your wallet when you’re not looking?”

“Nope. My parents are perfect.”

And the way she said the word perfect told Neal everything he needed to know about her family. There was her reason, beyond enjoying the random chaos of destruction, the slight inflection on the word perfect was her reason. And so Neal adjusted his plan slightly.

“Oh, wow. Well you want any of those things? You can have mine, I wouldn't mind sharing.”

“I think I’ll pass, thanks,” she laughed, pushing him lightly out of the way to walk to the church parking lot where a lot of the other teens were climbing into family cars. Of course his family wasn’t here yet. 

“Listen, Anna,” he said, “I know you don’t want to be here. Neither do I. What if there was a way we could help each other with that?”

“It’s Emma,” she corrected before realizing the trap she had fallen into. “And if you’re suggesting some sort of murder-suicide pact then you should know I’m already pretty close to murdering the creepy stalker who just tricked me into giving him my name.”

He grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets as he waited for her to finish surveying the parking lot. Her parents weren’t here, either. What a shame.

“Listen, you need someone to help you convince your parents you’re rehabilitated. It’s not a question. With your attitude, they aren’t gonna buy it without some outside assurance. I’d be excellent at that. What says ‘walking the straight and narrow’ better than a polite boyfriend who also happens to be really good and drawing up fake reports cards and providing alibis. I swear, I’ll have you out of this thing in under a month.”

She turned to look at him skeptically, “You think you can charm my parents? My mom literally calls my dad Prince Charming and you think you can charm them?”

“I know I can.”

She mulled it over, not seeming to hate the idea as he had anticipated. 

“And in exchange? I’m what? The sweet girl next door in a floral sundress who promises your parents she’ll take you to church and make you normal again?”

“Nah. Dad’s on his third wife and mom lives on a boat. They have no idea what normal even looks like. No, I want you to convince them this whole group thing is hurting more than it’s helping. And you look like exactly the kind of girl who can scare the daylights out of my dad. Tell me, how good are you at faking a pregnancy scare?”

“Who’s faking?” she laughed, rubbing her stomach sarcastically.

“Perfect!” he ginned, pulling a pen out of his bag and scribbling his number on a napkin for her. “I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow - wouldn’t want to have you out past dark. Oh, and one more thing, when you finally do meet my dad, I need you to mention how cute it is that he and my stepmom have matching British accents. That will make more sense when you meet them.”

“Goodbye, fake boyfriend!” she waved, as a rusty blue pick-up pulled into the parking lot, jogging over to climb into the cab.

Neal waited another thirty minutes for his family to arrive.

“How was your meeting?” Belle asked over her shoulder as Neal shoved Regina out of the way to get to the back seat. 

“Start any fights yet?” Regina asked, reaching into the back to punch him in the knee, “Light any fires? Get anyone pregnant?”

“Regina!” Belle scolded, “Don’t talk to your brother like that.”

“Step brother!” She and Neal chimed as one.

“And in the spirit of fairness, dearie,” Rumple mumbled from the passenger seat, “Those are all very good questions.”

Neal hoped Emma was as great as acting as he was. Because if his family thought he was trouble now, it was about to get a lot worse.

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Hi, Bunny! I hope 2021 is treating you kindly🌸🌸 I'm still here but I feel kinda useless bc I don't thirst on bts anymore (maybe it's a bold statement, like sometimes I still see some pics of jk in skinny jeans from fire era or some fancams from blood sweat and tears or fake love era and I just go feral, then I remember I'm a lesbian and in real life men aren't for me but jk still makes go crazy. It's very very messy) but I always check on this blog, I love here and I'm happy to see you on my dashboard!

If I can vent a little... I'm very tired 😣 after a whole year or more of numbing emotions as coping mechanisms, feeling things again sucks, I wouldn't recommend it. I just want to be fucked senseless (being horny I think is another coping mechanism) and sleep all winter like a bear ~🌼

Hi! 2021 hasn’t been too great for me so far 🥺. I’m soooo glad you’re still here even if you don’t thirst over them, I enjoy hearing from you 🥰 (and yes, there’s always something to go a little feral over regardless of your preferences 😁). 

I understand 🥺, it’s easier to find ways to cope/numb the pain and avoid feelings than to face them. Ughhh yes, I’m also so in need of intimacy 😩. 

[seanbees-writing-hive]

Your Friendly Fazbender Custodian! Part 1.

//So my first fic, this is where I see if I horribly embarrass myself in front of others Content warning includes blood, manipulation and implied child murder.

   At 12:30 AM, Joshua Arrived home from work, he unlocked the door to his apartment, locked the door behind him, kicked off his work boots, and walked to the kitchen to grab a trash bag. He made his way to his bathroom and began to undress taking off all his clothes in a slow 

methodical manner, his work vest adorned with a badge, his forest green button-up, and his pants all entered the bag as he turned on the water to his shower. In those moments where he waited for the water to heat up he thought about all that he had done, and what in god’s name he was gonna do with his clothes. All Joshua Could do once he entered the shower was sink to his knees as his shoulder-length curly brown hair matted down with the water, the sound of the water hitting the tub and drain was the only thing ringing in his ears as he watched pools of red fall off from his body and slowly trickle down the drain.

   At 12:30 pm the previous day, Joshua arrived at work at Freddy Fazbender's, a job as a janitor that he tolerated due to the pay, really the 23-year-old man only planned to work here the summer until he was ready to move from his current cheap apartment. Nonetheless, Joshua Arrived Right on time he would have to be brain dead not to as the man had sticky notes with the words "WORK AT 12:30" plastered all over his dashboard, with some additional ones on his fridge and bed at home.  He walked into work clocked in and checked the note his manager usually left for him keep track of what he was supposed to do for that day Joshua had asked for a list specifically as he suffered from Short term memory loss, this kept from just standing around doing nothing in fact it was so bad that he already forgot his manager and most of his fellow employee’s names, and what he had to wasn't much the usual stuff of hanging in the back until some kid pukes or knocks over their soda then clean it up. So there he sat in the back talking to some busboys and other employees whose faces kinda meshed together in his head, except for one. Dave Miller was a man that was impossible to forget, at least for Joshua, the man practically burned himself into the young Janitor's memory for one thing and one thing only: his eyes, and his voice. Any time Joshua had the misfortune of talking with Dave he always would notice how his eyes seemed to scan people in a sick manner, he wasn't sure if it was perverted or just analytical but the way Dave Stared at people caused his hair to stand on ends and his stomach to turn on itself in a fury. Dave's voice was another story,  borrowing is a word for it, it seemed to get into Joshua's ears and just stay there while he talked, any long conversation Joshua had with Dave seemed like it would end with an anxiety attack. So there Joshua sat listening to Dave talk to some other employee he has forgotten the name of, who he unceremoniously dubbed "The Orange one" about Las Vegas or Sports or something, so he was relieved when someone told him to clean up a mess at some birthday party table, some kid dumped the huge pitcher of coke that was bought for them to no one's surprise. Joshua cursed the kid's parents. As he made his way to the 2L puddle on the floor he felt a tug on his vest he stopped and turned to face it, as he looked down to see what looked like someone's kid, who spoke to him in the familiar sniffing voice of someone who had been crying "excuse me can you help me find my parents'' Joshua put on a fake smile, shit this won't end well, talking to adults was hard enough for him so he looked down and simply said "well sorry little guy uh I wouldn't know where they are but…" he would point to the first employee he saw "he can help you" he said in a fake positive tone that even a deaf man could tell was a farce. With a sniff, the child walked off heading for the person he pointed to as he went back to cleaning, had Joshua had known he had sent that child straight over to Dave, he wouldn't have done it.

 At closing time, Joshua was tasked with cleaning up and locking up the building before the security guards would make their way in for their shift. Joshua took his time, because despite his disdain he actually wanted to keep his job as a janitor. He had just finished whipping up the last table he heard a thud come from the back, with a sigh he walked to the back only to be cut off by someone he was not expecting: Dave. Dave at first looked pissed to Josh but that look quickly turned into an uncomfortable smile "Hey...Josh right?" He said in his familiar burrowing voice, Joshua typically went by his full name but didn't feel like talking to the man so he went along with it and responded "uh yeah….everything okay back there?" Dave nodded and responded in kind "Yeah one of the Animatronics Was leaking piston fluid, I was able to fix it but it made a mess on the floor, be a bud and clean it for me" Dave gripped Joshua's shoulders resting his fingers on his neck some of the aforementioned fluid getting on his neck and the back of his hair "thanks bud" Dave smiled and walked past, and almost without thinking Joshua went back and scrubbed the floors Dave's words burrowing in his head and his eyes, well as he was cleaning Joshua saw Dave's eyes everywhere, in the corner, the ceiling, and even on the empty gazes of the Animatronics, the fluid impossible to clean and the whole time he felt dirty.

 At 12:30 AM, Joshua Arrived home from work, he unlocked the door to his apartment, locked the door behind him, kicked off his work boots, and walked to the kitchen to grab a trash bag. He made his way to his bathroom and began to undress taking off all his clothes in a slow 

methodical manner, his work vest adorned with a badge, his forest green button-up, and his pants all entered the bag as he turned on the water to his shower. In those moments where he waited for the water to heat up he thought about all that he had done, and what in god’s name he was gonna do with his clothes. All Joshua Could do once he entered the shower was sink to his knees as his shoulder-length curly brown hair matted down with the water,  the sound of the water hitting the tub and drain was the only thing ringing in his ears as he watched pools of red fall off from his body and slowly trickle down the drain. All the while all he could think is why would piston fluid be this red.

[sell-our-skins]

Day 4 of Paradise Motel Week Post Canon AO3 Link ~ Hum Hallelujah “Trying to honor the dead is really difficult when the person who killed them is *right there*”

The Girl was struggling to close her backpack. It was a fairly cheap thing, recently bought by her mom. The shade reminded her of apricots, and all of the times she used to steal fruit flavored candies with Ghoul. Actual fruits were impossible to come by in the zones, or at least they used to be, but with BL/ind being gone, she supposed that she could try a real one now.

It was hot in the car. She was sitting in the passenger seat and the sun was beating down on her through the windshield. Her door was open, occasionally giving a short gust of wind. ‘Mom’s getting the keys,’ she told herself. Soon she could crank up the air conditioning and try to relax. That was, if the bag would actually close.

The zipper refused to budge. She gave it another exasperated tug, “Motherfucker,” she hissed out. Stupid zipper. Stupid backpack.

“Motorbaby?” Maya poked her head into the front seat of the van. Her dark hair, which was streaked with the occasional grey, was pulled up into a loose bun and a leather jacket thrown over a plain green tank top, “You need help?”

The Girl sighed, silently handing her mom the backpack in defeat. Maya smiled warmly, opening up the glovebox in front of the Girl with a gentle click. It was filled to the brim with trinkets from their adventures so far. The older Killjoy pulled out a half melted blue candle and began to carefully rub it over the zipper lining.

The Girl arched one of her eyebrows.

“Don’t question me, child of mine,” she warned with a chuckle, setting the candle down on the dashboard. Maya firmly grabbed the stubborn zipper, and closed the bag with ease.

“I take back my eyebrow raise. You’re clearly a deity in disguise,” Maya rolled her eyes, handing the Girl her bag and buckling herself up. The Girl carefully set the fruit-colored-bag in the backseat.

Maya started the van, and she started to head towards Route Guano. It was only now sinking in, what they were doing and where they were going. The Girl could feel her stomach flip with anxiety and her head filling with doubts.

It was apparently visible in her face, since her mom commented on it, “You know, we don’t have to do this. We could… make an altar for ourselves. Just a family thing.”

She actually considered it for a second, but no. She wasn’t going to let some asshole ruin her day

“I’ll be fine.”

--=+=--

The two Killjoys pulled up to the Ultra V hideout, which was formally some type of restaurant. A fast food place, most likely, but it was nearly unrecognizable. It was covered in spray painted tags and other interesting looking ornaments. However, today, it was also decorated with different types of desert wildflowers.

Pretty much as soon as the car had stopped, a teal haired Killjoy burst through the front of the restaurant, followed by their pink haired twin.

“KIIIIIIID! KID KIID!” the twins called out, running towards the car as fast as they could. The Girl felt a little smile appear on her face as she opened the door and hopped out of the van. Instantly, Vaya had pulled her into a tight hug and loudly exclaimed, “I can’t believe you actually came!”

“Yeah, glad you could make it, tumbleweed,” Vamos tried to play faer previous excitement off casually. Fae leaned against the van, a caricatured version of looking cool. Though they somehow made it work.

“Don’t scratch the paint, pup,” Maya piped up, hopping out of their car with a bag slung over her shoulder, “Can ya’ lend me a hand?”

“‘Course, Ms. Psychic,” Vaya called out, letting go of the girl and rushing to the other side of the van, their sibling following closely behind.

Merely a few seconds later, Vinyl came walking towards the group. The Girl gave him a wave, grabbing her apricot backpack from the backseat. Vinyl pointed at her backpack, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, uh, I got it. You can see if mom needs help, though,” he nodded at her words and travelled around the vehicle. The Girl glanced over at the doorway. The last member of the Ultra Vs was just standing there. Staring back at her and leaning against the doorway. His hair had faded slightly, turning a sort of pinkish red.

She sighed and looked up into the sky. Probably around 4.

‘You’ve been through hell and back you can deal with this,’ she ran a hand through her hair and made her way into the Ultra V hideout. Val’s eyes were practically staring right through her. Like a snake watching its prey. The Girl just tried to not acknowledge it.

She looked around at the now decorated restaurant. There were a handful of wildflowers in a variety of colors in cans and petals on the ground. A desk had been pushed out into the front room, making a makeshift altar. It was extremely plain, the only things on it being a faded polaroid of Volume in a soft yellow frame, a couple bad luck bead bracelets placed on the corners of the picture frame, a bag of chips, most likely stolen from Tommy, and a hair dye kit in Electric Frankenstein.

She opened up her bag and began to pull things out of it. Beads, photos, and other precious items. The Girl started to add things to their shared altar, making sure everyone had a section. Her family, her friends, no one was left out.

“Surprised you’re even here, halo head,” Val finally piped up, after what quite possibly could have been the most awkward silence.

‘Halo head,’ she mused to herself, ‘haven’t heard that one in a minute.’

“I’m here to help, don’t get sour,” she said with a sigh, carefully setting out both the battery powered and real candles.

“Help with what? None of this even… matters,” he moved away from his spot in the doorway and towards the altar she was working on.

She didn’t even dignify his sentence by turning to look at him, continuing to set out the picture frames. Val was just trying to get a rise out of her, she knew it.

“I mean, what deity is this for, again?”

“The Phoenix Witch,” the Girl strung a string of bad luck beads around the top of the desk.

“Yeah, the humanoid in a feather coat.”

She gave Val a somewhat annoyed look from over her shoulder, “Just a few months ago you saw me explode into a ball of green electricity,” she went back to what she was doing.

That seemed to set him off, really make him flare up, “I’m not gonna let some bomb with a silver tongue make my crew-”

“Heyyyyy!” Vaya announced their presence as they burst in through the front door. When they noticed how tense Val was, they cleared their throat, “Hope I didn’t interrupt your little get together.”

“Nope, we’re fine,” the Girl put on a fake smile. Apparently it was believable enough, because they let it go with a shrug.

Vaya was followed in by the rest of the Killjoys, all holding different bags filled with goodies.

Val’s anger seemed to fizzle out, since he practically slunk back into the background. It was like a sparkler, going from loud, bright, and fiery to silent in a matter of minutes. A sparkler in Poison Red hair dye. It still made her frown when she thought of it.

--=+=--

The altar was almost completely done, and Vamos was helping with the finishing touches. It was packed full of gifts and photographs, all meant to honor the ghosted. Maya, Vinyl, and Vaya were all in the restaurant’s kitchen, cooking both for the altar and for all of the other Killjoys. There was laughter coming from the kitchen. Well, Vaya and Maya were laughing, Vinyl was trying to fight the smile that wanted to appear on his face. The others were able to hear due to the openness of the restaurant. Val was hunched over on the couch, scribbling in his notebook.

“Lookin’ pretty shiny,” Vamos adjusted one of the frames near the back, since the glare of the lights had made it difficult to see. In it was a photo of Dr. Death Defying and Cherri Cola that the Girl had stolen out of Dr. Death’s station. Faer smile faded almost instantly.

“Christ, I kinda miss the old man,” fae mumbled, tone somewhat sorrowful, maybe even regretful. Fae brushed some of their neon hair out of faer eyes and continued to stare at the frame for a moment. Val shifted on the couch, no longer hunched over. No, now he was listening.

“Yeah, but, I guess… it happens… in a way?” the Girl struggled to find the words, she could feel herself getting somewhat choked up.

“It wasn’t his time,” Maya added, her tone laced with bitterness, “It’s a damn shame, but he’s with the witch now”

“God can you hear yourselves? He was a broken record. A dust angel. What’s the point of all of this?” Val’s voice snapped through the conversation. Everyone was tensely staring at Val, now. A stiff silence having come over the room.

“You wouldn’t know a broken record if you were hit over the head with one,” the Girl snapped back, after what felt an eternity, “The hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you just enjoy something for once?”

Val wrinkled his nose at her, storming out of the building without another word. Fuck.

“Guess you really blew up on him,” Maya tried, her joke falling flat.

--=+=--

It had only been around 15 minutes. The Girl hesitantly poked her head out of the door, looking at Val, who was sitting on the stairs.

“What?” he didn’t look up at her, like he thought the pavement was the most interesting thing in the zones. The stars were just starting to pop up in the sky, the sun sinking behind its spot in the hills.

The Girl just plopped down next to him and stared up at the sky, “You don’t have to like me, Val.”

Val looked up from his pavement, staring at the Girl with a look of mostly confusion.

“We just can’t keep pretending like we aren’t bothered by each other,” she ran a hand through her hair, focusing on a particularly bright star.

There was a beat of silence, “And I know you’re too stubborn to agree. It’s fine,” she hoped that her words came off as lighthearted. The last thing she needed was Val snapping at her again.

“You like the stars?” he finally spoke up.

She broke her staring contest with the bright star to glance at her fellow Killjoy, “Yeah, uh…” The Girl ran a hand through her hair again, debating whether to share what just popped into her head.

“Party, they used to tell me that when you got ghosted you would get turned into a star,” Val looked over at her, his face unreadable, “It always made me feel better, when I would hear people talking about claps going South on the radio. Made me feel like they were just… turning into stardust.”

He looked like he was processing her words, struggling to find the right response.

“Shiny,” is what he finally landed on.

“Yeah, shiny.”

[starshipsandsuperheroes]

1) i accidentally unfollowed you while trying to send this ask, thanks tumblr ui 2) regarding top dnd moments: have you had any moments where you suddenly realize something big about your own character? or like, a moment that sticks out as when you realized that the character had really come into their own and was something more than just you playing the role?

1.) that’s hysterical omg

2.) Yeah I actually do, weirdly enough?  (Also ty for indulging me on this alsdkjfasd ily)  I’ve actually got one who this happens to all the time - she really kinda lives like, independently of my immediate intent, and I feel like I’m constantly surprised by her.

For those that don’t know her, the character I’ve played the second longest is a rogue assassin named Amelia.  Her original name was Amelia Shepard, she started out neutral evil, and the only thing she really cared for was whatever it was gonna take to keep herself alive (yeah i went edgelord rogue it’s fine she’s working on it).  Currently, she goes by Amelia Foster (Foster being our party’s “family” name, which is of import in the world of the campaign), she’s a true neutral character, and while she still prioritizes her own life, she’s been known to take a few more risks for the party.

I remember sitting in Denny’s with my party a few months into playing her and the DM looking at me and saying the words “I don’t think Amelia is capable of love.”  At the time, I agreed with them, and as far as I could think ahead, that was gonna remain true.  She definitely got away from me though, and without me noticing, started taking steps closer and closer to true neutral.

There are two moments that stand out in particular on that path - the Tetanus Orb Incident, and the Karl Marx Incident.  It’s some of the most connected to a character I’ve ever felt while playing D&D, and I’ll detail them below a cut for anyone curious about what those were (to save dashboard space).

(also side note: it’s weird as shit in a very fun way to talk about my own pcs, because i feel like i usually end up doing so in a way where i frequently deflect to the rest of my party, so the last few days have been really interesting in reflecting on like, my own personal experiences dsjfalsdkfjas)

Curious about any of this?  Come ask me about it!

The Tetanus Orb Incident came at the end of a rather weird session.  We were playing in a room we’d never played in before, the majority of the party had been asked to leave the room for like a half hour and go sit out in the freezing cold hallway while the DM and one party member had a talk (in character about things we Couldn’t Know), and then we had come in and to make a very long story short gotten chased by a Rakshasa through a church while ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man played for literally two and a half hours straight in the background.  For the most part, it was a really good time, it was just a lot of weird energy that ended up combining to, I think, set the tone in a very specific way.

We also had these things our boss had given us that, as far as we could tell, were little chalky orbs that could cause rapid onset tetanus.  Amelia was the most bound to our boss, and also deals primarily in poisons, so she ended up carrying them.  Generally the use seemed to be to put them in water and then cause rapid onset tetanus in everyone who drank of it.

There’s a scene that would pretty regularly play out.  Our boss was a terrible person, and hated us all, but for various reasons had it out in particular for Amelia.  We’d get back from a job, get a debrief, and the party would get into an argument with her.  She’d snipe at them, they’d snipe at her, this would go on and she would get more and more agitated, Amelia would say one thing in contribution, she’d set Amelia on fire (long story), the group would get her to let Amelia go, she’d drop it, and we’d go our separate ways until she singled people out to torment individually.  Sometimes she’d set other folks on fire to change things up, but it was a pretty cut and dry encounter we came to expect.  That scene started to play out when we got back from the Rakshasa chase - Elle (our boss) was already agitated from the incident at the church, so it didn’t take her too long to get worked up.

This time, though, she didn’t outright target Amelia.  It was sammygiddings’s Satomi that she turned on.  The room was shaped differently than we would normally have to play, and the physicality of the scene had increased a bit - people were standing, and our DM as Elle was walking between people.  They approached me in character and demanded one of the tetanus orbs.  It was technically hers, so I mimed fake obliging.  And then Elle told Satomi to open her mouth and moved to have her swallow it.

I was in motion literally before I realized what was happening.  By the time I focused again, I was standing too, my hand on my DM’s wrist, knocking it away from sammygiddings’s face.  At first I was embarrassed, because I hadn’t meant to get so into it that I actually, physically grabbed them to stop it, but the scene continued to play out without a word or anyone seeming weirded out.  Elle ripped her hand away, tossed me back the orb, called me names, and all the other fun stuff we were used to from that scenario played out accordingly (hope she’s rotting in hell, even though I know she’s not).

It wasn’t until later that I realized that Amelia had moved, not me, and for the first time ever had put her own neck on the line for someone else.

The Karl Marx Incident was the final domino in the line that started after the Tetanus Orb Incident and ended in... well, character development very few saw coming.  To make another very long story as short as possible, the campaign is an exercise in anti-capitalist theming, which is fucking delightful but also can get very dark, and one of the ways it got very dark was the sudden need to move around five million people out of one of the parts of the 50 million-person city when one of the powerful corporations tried to take over their part of the city via martial law.

Originally, the people in the area wanted to stay there and fight the corporation off, reclaiming the third level of the city as their own.  We went to find them to either see how we could help or talk them into something better.

It probably would have been a good idea to let wizardcowpoke’s Junie do all the talking , in hindsight.  The situation was far more of a setup for her to shine, and she was far more prepared for any sort of charisma skill check (especially at the time) as compared to my Bastard.  I found myself talking before I realized quite what I was doing, though - talking to the people to convince them their ideas of reclaiming the space were bullshit.  

The primary group affected were a union of what the city calls “divers” - the city tends to build on top of itself, and the divers were the ones that maintained the structural ruins that now acted as supports for the current “upper” city.  The group working to take over their level?  The corporation whose primary strength comes its monopoly on the train out to the desert.  Amelia, before I even realized what she was doing, began to rally the assembled group.  They were skilled, she reminded them, and they were survivors.  Fuck UMIC.  You’re stronger as a union than they could ever hope to be.  Go out to the desert, to the mountains.  Commandeer the train, start a new commune, and when you have the strength and resources to do so, build your own fucking railroad.  Take their greatest strength from them, but be patient about it.  You’ll wound them much deeper that way then trying to just kill every base level employee you come across.  With wizardcowpoke’s help, as well as the rest of the party, we managed to convince them to try it the long way.

We ran into other problems from this, including a false hydra later down the line.  But at the time?  The session finished, and the DM took my character sheet for a moment, erased something, wrote something new on it, and passed it back over to me.  My alignment had changed and I hadn’t realized it.

[planetary-plantpunk]

You know, there is a lot to dislike about the tumblr website, but I think that one of the things I find the MOST honestly distasteful is the constant cycle of:

1. Somebody makes a post, with a made-up "fun fact," or just mistakenly incorrect information about possums, that is ultimately harmless. Maybe they do it on purpose (for "notes," for attention, for money, whatever). Maybe they just misinterpreted information and made an honest mistake.

It's always something vaguely plausible and entirely surface-level believable about a butterfly species that doesnt really exist, an atmospheric anomaly that doesn't really happen (but SOUNDS like it totally could), or a historical fact/event that someone made up.

2. People read that post and comment on it, believe it, reblog it, etc.

3. The post is inevitably debunked multiple times.

4. A thousand rude-ass cockroaches crawl out of the woodwork to rant about how GULLIBLE and STUPID and CARELESS everyone is to have been DUPED by such FLAGRANTLY INCORRECT INFORMATION and you're all such MALICIOUS IDIOTS for PURPOSELY SPREADING LIES and on and on and on.

Just, why? What harm has been done?? We find out that some plausible, vague, ultimately untrue post was actually bullshit, ta-da, nobody reblogs it anymore, and we MOVE ON.

For example, this post about " particular water ions" in the ocean that interact with our brain chemistry. Somebody finds the post, who is not well-versed in the intricacies of chemistry, and thinks "wow, cool!" And reblogs it.

Maybe they google it later and find out is was bullshit!!! Maybe they don't!!! It Super Duper doesn't matter that this person didn't know enough about chemistry to know off the bat that it was incorrect information!!!

Why on earth would they suspect that somebody would go to the trouble of making a fake post about WATER IONS?

They wouldn't!!!

Most people don't automatically assume that everyone on the internet is constantly making up bullshit for some unknown reason. Nobody is stupid or naive for assuming that everybody else on the planet isn't personally out to get them, and they're not gullible because they don't automatically race to extensively fact-check every fun-fact thay somebody posts about koalas.

By all means, fact-checking Big Posts (info posts about natural disasters, ecological situations, political actions and protest coverage, news, donation links, accusations of crime, etc.) is a great practice and is very important for people trying to get their news or help out with a bad situation through the internet (maybe tumblr isn't the most useful place to be conducting that kinda business, but that's another post).

But getting pissy because people aren't expending their energy to dive down a rabbit hole over the healthiest beta fish tank arrangements before they reblog a fun post from somebody who seems reputable at first glance? That's just vindictive and childish.

Don't lash out at others just because they're not using the internet the way you want them to. Also, don't rip into people who honestly didnt know better and were trying to spread a Big Post that they thought had accurate information. They were just trying to help, there's no need to be cruel.

If you're expecting everybody who spends their leisure time surfing a cutesy blogging site on the internet to be constantly researching and double-checking every inconsequential post on their dashboard, you're going to be very disappointed. Frankly, nobody else is particularly outraged that Some Guy On The Internet made a random fake post and they got tricked into reading a fake funny story about Will Smith. If we realize we were Had, we just say "oh well," and get on with scrolling.

Nobody is making huge, impactful decisions based on a fake story about somebody who did something funny at comic con 10 years ago. Let it go. They will, in all probability, eventually find out that whatever they reblogged was fake anyways. Their misconception will most likely be corrected by time. Just move on and find yourself some REAL facts about koalas if it really matters that much.

[kyogre-blue]

Live action round-up

What I’ve been watching, live action edition: 

Good Omens, complete (6 episodes) -- The only western one (lol). It’s solid for what it is, but I found it to be kinda uninteresting on the whole. I’m also not a fan of this kind of “seemingly random characters and details turn out to be exactly what’s needed, like a grand plan” plot style. Well, I mostly just wanted to know what my dashboard was buzzing about, so I did get that. The production as a whole is very, very solid, it’s just a mismatch to my personal tastes. 

Guardian (2018), complete (40 episodes) -- lmao. I actually enjoyed watching it and would recommend it, even though it is very ridiculous and the plot is a mess. The main leads are exceptional, as everyone says, the soundtrack is great, and I found the fake scifi genre change to be at least deeply amusing (probably because it’s just so anime). Unfortunately, the quality dips quite a bit in the second half through a combination of factors. Fun fact: It’s also now on Amazon Prime, which has some hilarious choices in how it renders the various terminology.  

SCI, complete (24 episodes) -- So I kinda watched this at random because certain people reblogged a listing of where to find the subs. I thought it would be a crime show like NCIS or something. It is admittedly a show about several cases being solved by a special police unit, but the cases feature things like hypnotism mind control, split personalities, plastic surgery to look like another person for Revenge, and child soldier human experimentation programs. Overall, it’s pretty good, but dang the subplot with the sister’s “romance” was terrible. 

Love O2O, dropped (5/30 episodes) -- It feels like it’s been a long while since I watched a normal romance, haha. The girls are so cute and lively! The male roommates are fun too. However, I really am not fit for “normal” setting stories. There was just no interest or excitement. Random note: The female lead’s avatar has such skinny arms. I felt constantly afraid watching her swing her sword. 

Tomb of the Sea, dropped (5/52) -- Now this is a show with budget. Unfortunately, I found it to be rather dull and miserable in that gritty way. It was also dark and with a lot of secondary, disposable characters, which made it very hard to keep track of what was going on, especially since I didn’t really... care. 

Oh My General, dropped (6/60 episodes) -- This is another case where the ML is supposed to be exceptionally beautiful, but imo he’s just kinda so-so. It’s too bad because the MC is hot and cool. This show is actually pretty engaging, but I don’t enjoy anything relating to gender roles, so I found a lot of its content to be kinda tedious. 

The Untamed, ongoing (14/50?) -- The plot changes are very interesting to consider. I feel like some of it makes the story more tropey (the Jiang party being treated as underdogs at the inn, the setup of the Wens doing demonic cultivation, etc), but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, I feel like the casting is kinda off. The actors look way too old for the flashback school days, and especially LWJ is just not doing it for me. Aside from that, costumes feel kinda meh (men have exactly 2 hairstyles, which doesn’t help me keep track) and the action scenes are... not great, but the scenery and sets are lovely. But the most notable thing... “childe” “gentry”.... subs why

[thatonefangirlwhowrites]

Shut up and kiss me- Ethan Dolan smut

Grayson called...of course I answered. I had walked through the door to my apartment after a rough shift. Ethan’s car was broken down on the side of the road in the middle of The dessert. I grab the keys to my truck and lock my door. Gray sent me his location so I put it in the GPS and start heading to get him and Ethan. It took about a hour to get there. As I got on the gravel road Ethan called me. I press the answer button on my steering wheel.

“Hey!” Ethan says

“I’m on the gravel road now.” I reply knowing he’s calling to see where I am at. “And you’re lucky I trust you two.”

“What do you mean?” Ethan asks as I hear Grayson say something in the background.

“I’m driving down a gravel road at two am in the middle of nowhere...it’s sus. You’re so lucky I trust you.”

“It is sus.” Ethan responds.

“Where the hell are you?” I ask,having been on this road for ten minutes.

“Wait, I think I see you.” Ethan says as I notice the twins stood by Ethan’s Jeep.

I pull up in front of Ethan’s Jeep I put my truck I park. I hop out my boots hitting the ground.

“Y/N is in yee haw clothes.” Grayson says as I open the back door.

“Shove It Dolan.” I call as I grab my tow straps from the back seat. “It was theme night at the bar.”

“So it was yee haw night?” Ethan asks

I walk over to Ethan throwing the tow straps at him before nodding.

“Hi, Gray.” I say giving him a hug.

“Yo, what am I? The ugly twin?” Ethan says

“You said it.” I tease wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

“Thank you for coming to get me.” He utters placing a kiss under my ear. Tease, I think as he pushes me into him a little tighter before letting go.

“Of course! I couldn’t leave my favorite YouTuber on the side of the road.” I reply looking over at Grayson.

“Oh...that might be offensive. Sorry Gray.” I sat offering a small smile.

“Were lumped together.” Grayson says with a shrug

“I hope not.” I whisper as Ethan starts tying to tow straps to his Jeep. Once both ends we’re tied together. Everyone gets in the truck. I start it and a My Chemical Romance song stars playing.

“Boo, off brand.” Ethan teases.

“You can change it. You know my passcode.” I say briefly looking over at E, who was reacting for my phone.

“He knows your passcode? That’s dangerous.” Grayson says from the back seat.

“He knows yours too.” I laugh

“We have the same face, that’s different.” Grayson smiles.

“What’s the passcode?” Ethan asks, staring st my phone.

“My birthday.” I say trying to focus on the road and not on Ethan.

“Which is?” Ethan asks looking over at me.

I fake gasp “I am offended. You were present for three birthdays!”

“We never celebrate on your birthday, it’s too close to Christmas. We always celebrate the second week of December.” Ethan defends.

“Okay, okay. You have a point. It’s the twentieth.” I respond.

Silence fills the car for a couple of minutes before Ethan asks “You’re talking to my ex?”

“Oh, yeah. She DMed me today. I was gonna tell you.” I inform stealing a glance at Ethan.

“What did you two talk about?” Ethan asks, I can feel his eyes on me.

“Read it.” I say “I was gonna show you anyway.”

“Read it out loud.” Grayson says as Ethan looks over at me with a questioning look.

I nod as he opens twitter.

“So my ex DMed Y/N and said ‘Hey I don’t know if you know me or not but I’m Ethan’s ex.’ Y/N responded ‘yeah, I know who you are.’

“Wow, snappy!” Gray says in a teasing tone

“She’s trying to stir shit up.” I defend as Ethan continues reading.

“My ex asks ‘are you and Ethan dating?’ Y/N replied ‘Do I look like his type?’”

Ethan laughs “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Look at me, I’m a tomboy wanna be emo...not your type.” I reply looking in the rear view mirror at Grayson who was already looking at me. I shake my head trying to focus on the road.

“My ex said ‘no but you two seem to get along well. And then Y/N said ‘yeah...we’re friends you kinda do get along well with your friends.”

“God Y/N.” Grayson laughs

“What’s it’s true?” I reply as Ethan snorts.

“And the she responded ‘he likes you I can tell.” Ethan finishes the conversation.

“I told you she as trying to stir shit up.” I say glancing st Ethan who was still laughing.

“ I mean...I do like you. We’re sleeping together.” Ethan says, too casually.

“Wait, what?” Grayson says from the back seat.

“Ethan!” I yell

“What? He was gonna find out eventually.” Ethan says playing a kid kudi song before locking my phone. He places a hand on my thigh giving it a squeeze.

“You didn’t have to drop that bomb now.” I snap.

I can feel Graysons eyes on me so I say “Just say it Gray.”

“I just...I didn’t know...how did I not know.” Grayson says with a frown.

“We were sneaky.” Ethan says placing a kiss on my cheek. “It was hot.”

“Ethan!” I snap

“Gross bro.” Grayson says from the back seat.

“Oh come on.” Ethan turns to face Grayson. “You’re suing you never thought about it.”

I look in the rear view mirror at Grayson who’s face was red. I can’t believe he’s thought of it too. Not that I have...okay, okay I admit. Grayson is just as hot as Ethan. And I may have a slight thing for Grayson. I know, I know I like Grayson but I’m sleepy with Ethan. It’s complicated. Ethan and I had a conversation about it and he told me that Grayson didn’t like me like that. I was hurt obviously but Ethan was there to make me feel beautiful. In hindsight maybe he only said those things to get in my pants. I do think about that a lot. I often wonder if I’m nothing more that a piece of ass to him. I shake my head focusing on the road.

The hour ride was spent in silence. Ethan’s hand never leaving my thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on my thigh. He knew I was inside my head. He can always tell when I’m anxious or upset. He squeezes my thigh offering a comforting smile as I pull into the twins driveway.

“Stay the night?” Ethan asks in a low voice.

“If it’s okay with Gray.” I respond looking in the rear view mirror at Grayson who was asleep leaning against the door.

“Gray.” I say gently. When he doesn’t respond I unbuckle my seat belt reaching behind me to touch his arm lightly. He doesn’t move so I gently rub his arm until he wakes up.

“Hm?” Grayson asks stretching

“You’re home.” I say quietly.

“Thanks for the ride Y/N.” Grayson says grabbing my hand.

“Of course.” I reply, feeling caught in the moment.

“Y/N is staying over.” Ethan says pulling me attention from Grayson.

“Oh...okay.” Grayson says getting out of the truck.

Once Grayson was inside Ethan turns to me.

“What was that?” Ethan asks annoyance in his voice.

I turn to face him. He’s mad, I can tell.

“What was what?” I ask as Ethan runs a hand through his hair.

“Don’t act dumb. You’re smart.” Ethan says, even when he’s angry he’s still complimenting me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Ethan.” I respond, hoping he’d drop it.

“The thing with Grayson. I thought you were over him?”

“I am.” I lie

“Don’t lie to me.” Ethan says obviously upset.

“Ethan.” I start

“No don’t Ethan me. I’m trying here. I’m trying...UGH!” He slams his hands on my dashboard. “Why do you like him?” Ethan asks, voice soft. He turns to face me sadness in his eyes.

“I...I don’t know E. I just do.”

“No, please tell me. Please, I need to know what’s wrong with me.” Ethan says, his voice full of sadness.

“Ethan.” I say grabbing his hand, lacing our fingers together. “There isn’t anything wrong with you.”

“Then why him?”

“I’m not giving myself to him am I?” I ask

“That’s different. It’s just sex.”

“Is it?” I ask, recalling the last time we’d slept together and how he went slow and sensual which was a change from the usual quick and hard pace.

“The last time wasn’t.” Ethan whispers squeezing my hand.

“I know it wasn’t. I...I don’t know how I feel.” I admit “I think I need some time to figure it out.”

“So you’re saying you don’t want to see me anymore?” Ethan says voice shaking with emotion.

“No, I can’t not see you. I think we just need to take a break from the sex.”

“I can do that.” Ethan says looking me in the eyes for the first time since we’d been in the car. “But, can I have a kiss before we agree to this?”

I laugh, untangling my hand from his placing my hands on his neck. He leans forward pressing a meaningful kiss on my lips. This kiss feels different from the others. Maybe because we’ve never kissed without it leading somewhere else but sitting in my truck innocently kissing Ethan was actually nice. His hands stayed on my hips, they’d usually be roaming my body. No tounge, no shedding of clothes just our lips touching. He pulls away with a smile. He places a kiss on my cheek before saying “I’m gonna miss that.”

“You know that was the first time we’ve innocently kissed.”

“It was...” Ethan says smiling.

I can see myself falling for this man. He presses another kiss on my lips muttering “One more.” Before placing another quick kiss on my lips. We sat in my truck just kissing for an hour. He’d mutter ‘one more’ each time. He’s so cute I think as he looks at me like I’m his entire world.

From that day on, Ethan had been different; almost like he’s trying to prove that he can be what I want. I told him that he didn’t have anything to prove but, he simply said he wasn’t trying to prove anything. Ethan had been holding my hand, kissing my cheek, wanting cuddles. He’s been so sweet but, at the same time he’s been trying to seduce me. He’s been walking around shirtless more, biting his lip,flexing on purpose. It’s only been two months but I can confidently say that I no longer have feelings for Grayson. I have slowly been falling for Ethan.

Ethan asked me to come over because Grayson was going to get a tattoo all day. He said that he wanted to make use of having the house to himself but I know that he just didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t complain. Before I could even get out of my truck, Ethan was at the door in his swim trunks. He’s holding a bag in his hands. Oh, no what is this boy up to I think as I put my truck into park. Ethan opens my door handing me the bag as he places a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

“Put it on and meet me by the pool.” Ethan says starting to walk away. I grab his arm pulling him back. He faces me with raised eyebrows.

“Don’t think you’re getting away with that pathetic kiss. I want a real one.” I pout turning my body to face him. He smiles grabbing my hips.

“What happened to taking a break from sex?” Ethan asks nose brushing against mine.

“Shut up and kiss me Dolan.” I whine as he places a gentle kiss on my lips.

“Better?” He asks after pulling away. I nod placing another kiss on his lips. I let go of him and he walks into the house, leaving the door opened. I look in the bag and see a black and white bikini. I roll my eyes at the flimsy material before jumping out of my truck. I walk in the house heading towards Ethan’s bathroom. I change into the bathing suit question why he’d bought something with so little coverage. I’d say a good ninety percent of my ass is out and the top covers a little more than my nipples. Now I see why he wanted Grayson out of the house. I opened the bathroom door and walk into the pool. Ethan’s already in the water. A backwards SnapBack on his head. He turns to face me smirking “Looking good, georgous.”

“Now I see why you wanted Grayson out of the house.” I respond walking over to the water. Ethan swims over to the edge looking me up and down. He bites his lip as I sit on the ledge, feet dangling in the water. Ethan rests his arms on my legs looking up at me.

“What?” I ask trying to ignore the feeling in my stomach that comes with him touching me.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

I snort “You’re cheesey, you know that?”

“Let me be cheesey. You’re very beautiful.” He says with a smile.

God, why does he have to be this cute?

“Whatever, Dolan?” I scoff trying to make the blush that spreads across my face go away.

“You’re cute when you blush.” Ethan responds moving to stand in between my slightly opened legs.

I’m a little taller than him in this position but that doesn’t faze him. He places his hands on my hips. His eyes flicker to my lips. I lean down to kiss him. His grip tightens on my hips as he licks my bottom lip. I pull back smirking “what happened to taking a break from sex?” I tease coping his word from before.

“Shut up and kiss me.” Ethan repeats my words.

Ethan pulls me into the water. I wrap my legs around his waist as he kisses me. He licks my bottom lip this time I part my lips. His tounge slides against mine. God, I didn’t realize how much I’d missed this I think as our tounges dance together. His hands slide down to my ass. He gives it a squeeze before pulling away.

“God, I missed this.” Ethan says going to place kisses down my neck. I tilt my head back giving him more space to work with. He places a kiss on my barely covered boob. He sucks a hickey on my left boob. His hands reaching behind me playing with the tie.

“Take it off.” I say as he stops his assault on my boobs looking up at me.

“Are you sure?” He asks hands still playing with the tie.

“Please.” I say making him groan.

He swiftly unties my top tossing it somewhere behind me. One hand comes to squeeze my boobs.

“God I missed these tits.” Ethan groans taking a nipple into his mouth.

“I missed that mouth.” I moan as he switches boobs. He shows the other the same attention before letting it go with a pop.

“Just Wait Princess. It gets better.” Ethan says placing me back on the edge of the pool. His hands go to my bottoms looking me in the eyes searching for any doubts.

“Just take them off Ethan. Please. I want your mouth.” I groan.

He quickly takes the bottoms off, gently pushing me to rest on my back. Ethan places a kiss on my stomach kissing down my left leg and then up my right. He’s always such a tease. He pauses to suck a hickeys on my thighs.

“Ethan stop teasing.” I whine as he blows cool air on my center.

“What do you want princess?” He asks, already knowing what I want.

“I already told you.” I whine

“Wanna hear it again.” Ethan says hooking his arms under my thighs.

“I want your moth. Please.”

“Where?” He asks as I buck my hips into his face. “Here?” He asks licking a stipe up my core.

“Please.” I beg just wanting his mouth on me.

He smirks before going to work. Sucking and licking at my core. His lips wrap around my clit. Crude slurping sounds can be heard as Ethan works his tounge into me. I moan grabbing his hair. His pointer finger circles my entrance before easily slipping in with how wet he’s made me. I tug at his hair when he hits my g spot. He moans against me taking my clit back into his mouth. His teeth scrapping my clit lightly. I roll my hips into his face. God, I really did miss this mouth. I feel the tightening in my stomach as Ethan brings his ring finger to join his pointer finger.

“God, Ethan.” I moan trying to warn him that I’m close.

“Let go, I can feel you squeezing my fingers.” Ethan says quickening his pace.

“Fuck, so close.” I roll my hips in time with his fingers.

“Cum for me. Show me how good I make you feel.” Ethan says before taking my clit in his mouth once more.

“Fuck, Ethan.” I moan, cumming. He doesn’t stop his fingers or his mouth agianst me until I’ve ridden out my high. He slowly stops fingering me.

I sit up jumping back in the water. Kissing Ethan, tasting myself in his tounge. Shit, that’s hot I think as he grinds his hips into mine. His bulge painfully hard. I bring my hands to run along his dick over the top of his swim trunks. He groans bucking into my hand.

“I wanna suck you.” I whisper in his ear nipping at his ear.

He groans telling me that he really wants me to.

“As much as I would love that. I wanna bust in that pretty little pussy of yours.” Ethan says picking me up.

I moan as I reach to untie his shorts. He kicks them off pressing me against the side of the pool. He pauses not moving just looking at me.

“You’re truly beautiful.” He says placing a kiss on my cheek. He grips himself bringing it to my entrance. He uses the head to tease my clit before he slowly pushes in. Both of us moaning at the feeling of him entering me. He slides in slowly giving it to me inch by inch. Once he’s bottomed out, he doesn’t move. He places kisses on my collar bone before he pulls out and trusts forward.

“God, I missed this pussy.” Ethan moans gripping my hips before thrusting hard into me.

“Fuck” I moan as he continues his fast pace. His balls slapping against my ass. The water rippling around us. He takes a hand off my hip rubbing my clit roughly.

“Such a good pussy, so tight for me.” Ethan moans in my ear nipping at it.

“Only for you.” I moan his thrusts becoming quicker.

“Who’s pussy is this?” Ethan asks delivering a slap to my pussy.

“Yours.” I moan crying out as he drilled into me. I clench around him as I near my peak.

“I’m close.” I warn

“Cum for me.” Ethan says as I suck a hickey in his collar bone. Ethan slaps my pussy again.

“Fuck, So close.” I moan keeping my lips on Ethan’s neck.

“Cum on my dick princess.” Ethan moans circling my clit with his thumb.

“Fuck, Ethan!” I moan cumming.

“Shit Y/N.” Ethan’s thrusts become irregular signaling that he’s close. He slams into me once more. Hips stilling as he spills inside me. Once we’ve both finished, he rests his forehead on mine. He places a kiss on my forehead whispering “I love you Y/N.” He looks at with wide eyes realizing he just said that out loud.

I smile “I love you too, Ethan.” He places a kiss on my lips. He pulls out still holding me close. We hear the front door open and Ethan pulls me behind him covering my body with his.

“Ethan!” Grayson calls walking around the house shortly noticing Ethan in the pool. Grayson walks out noticing the blac bikin too near the door.

“Seriously? In the pool?” Grayson groans covering his eyes.

“Nice tattoo bro.” Ethan says casually as if I wasn’t completely naked behind him.

“You’re cleaning out the pool.” Is the last thing that Grayson says before walking back into the house.

Ethan and I laugh loudly. Ethan turns to face me chest to chest.

“So...”

“Don’t ruin the moment by asking what are we.” I complain kissing Ethan’s cheek.

“Okay, okay.” Ethan responds placing a loving kiss on my lips. “I won’t ask...while we’re naked.” We stay like this for a while before I pulls away to find my bottoms.

“Ethan where did you throw my bottoms?” I ask swimming around trying to find them.

“I don’t know...” he responds pulling his swim trunks up. Seconds later he swims over handing me my bottoms.

“I’ll get you’re top.” Ethan says lifting himself out of the water and going to where he’d thrown my top.

He walks back saying “As much as I’d rather you stay like that, here’s your top.”

I roll my eyes putting my top back on. I get out of the pool as Ethan asking “so...”

“Ethan.” I groan

“I wanna know!” Ethan pouts.

“I told you I love you. What does that mean?”

“Boyfriend and girlfriend?” Ethan asks, hopefulness on his face.

“Yes!”

“I’ve got a girlfriend!” Ethan shouts running inside to tell Grayson.

That boy, I sear. I hear Grayson shout “Finally!”

[junionigiri]

Stiletto

Because it’s Todoroki’s birthday, I figured I’d publish this scene I wasn’t able to place in the todochako fic that I’m writing! I got back to this while playing a prompt game with my friend Tasia’sEndlessDreams--the prompt being, Stiletto.

I listened to Dashboard Confessional’s “Stolen” while writing this. Hope you like it!

The garden party ended abruptly and in an unexpected way, but at least it isn't as big of a disaster as it could have been, although Shouto is beginning to think that the presence of any Todoroki in her vicinity causes Ochako to have exceptionally bad luck. He hopes his hypothesis is wrong, and he hopes that Ochako doesn't come to the same conclusion, because there's no way that this arrangement of theirs will work if that were the case. "Anyhow, everyone else went home," Fuyumi tells the two of them. She tries to look apologetic, but it's obvious that Endeavor's absence and the calm that follows gives her relief. "Shoucchan, you might as well show Ochako around the rest of the estate. Or, maybe, bring her to the lake nearby! That's always a nice place to visit~" Ochako looks at him in interest. "That's amazing! You guys own a lake?" she says, bright brown eyes shining in awe. Fuyumi laughs. "Well, no. Just the boats." She puffs her cheeks and stares at Shouto in disbelief. Boats, plural, her eyes seem to say, although he isn't sure why he thinks he can decipher her thoughts so easily. "We can go for a ride, if you want. It isn't far from here," he tells her quietly. "Oh, no... motion sickness," she blurts out, and then blushes furiously. "But I'd love to see the lake... I'd like to take some pictures for Ma."

And so Shouto and Ochako takes the short drive to the lake. There aren't many people out and about, just a few couples and small families having a picnic and enjoying the fresh air and the less harsh afternoon sun. Having spent many days here as a child, Shouto meets the sight with a surprisingly painful nostalgia. The last time he was here, it was with Mom and Fuyumi-nee and Natsu-nii, and... and Touya-nii. He remembers the spot where they laid their blanket and picnic basket down. Where, seconds after, Touya and Natsu threw their clothes off their bodies and ran to the water, ignoring Mom's pleas for them to put sunblock on first. Where Fuyumi-nee helped him with his floaties. It's a distant memory that he doesn't particularly enjoy revisiting, because the contrast with his present life is harsh. Still, they play in the screen at the back of his mind, only interrupted by Ochako's gasp. "Shouto, it's beautiful!" He doesn't think it's possible for Ochako's eyes to be any bigger and brighter, but here they are, brown and shiny and taking everything in. She looks at Shouto with the biggest smile on her face. It doesn't look like she thinks much of it when she grabs his hand and drags him closer to the water, giggling excitedly along the way. He has heard Ochako laugh lots of times before, but the lilt of her voice makes something in his chest kick. That's why he follows her, a little dazed and light headed, until she yelps and almost falls flat on her face when they move from concrete to sand. He manages to catch her on time, one arm pulling her close to him, another circling around her waist. Soon, she's steady and speechless and just a little breathless, and he's staring straight into her flustered eyes and pink, pink cheeks. "You okay?" he asks, when her prolonged silence begins to make him worry. "Uh. Yes," she manages eventually, ducking her head in desperation. "Um, sorry, I got too excited--I forgot I was wearing Camie's stilettos, and heels and sand definitely don't mix, so--" "Ah. You're right," says Shouto. Doing the next logical thing, he bends down next to her feet, touches one gently and lifts it. She squeaks, for some reason, and stares at him like he's doing something scandalous. "You need to take your shoes off," he tells her matter-of-factly. "Shouto, I can do it on my own," she stammers, but allows him to remove her stilettos anyway. He realizes that Utsushimi's shoes are a little big on her when they come off easily. His hands make contact with her bare feet, and he sees then how small they are, how they almost fit in his hands... and how red some of her skin is from using them all day. He huffs, making a mental note to advise her on more practical footwear next time. When she's free of the shoes, her height dramatically decreases, so that the top of her head reaches the top half of his chest. Barely. She realizes this too and flushes again, a little angrier this time. "You're really tall and I'm really short. Okay, I get it," she says, puffing her cheeks again, making them rounder. "It's kinda why I have to wear them in the first place..." He chuckles at that. "You can just tiptoe when you have to stand next to me. It'll make your legs stronger, at least." She slaps him on the arm playfully, in fake annoyance, but laughs along with him anyway. They walk along the lake-side, where he shows her things like the dock and their two boats and a slope leading to part of a cliff where people dive. There isn't much to see, to be honest, but Ochako takes all the sights in with the same childlike wonder in her eyes, heels in one hand and Shouto's arm in the other. He listens to her questions and comments and replies as best as he can, lets her tell stories about the nature sights in her hometown and how she misses it and how you can't get air like this in the city. To his amazement, the sky is bright orange when they finish talking. He pauses to stare at the sky, Ochako falling in right next to him. "Should we head back?" Ochako says a little hesitantly. Shouto hums. She chuckles, "You tend to do that a lot, you know. Not... saying actual human words." He smirks. "What's that? I can't hear you from way up here." "Ah! Shouto~!!!" She tiptoes and raises her fists to beat him up playfully, which he catches in two hands easily. She pushes forward, he steps back--he pushes her to her place, and she does the same, and soon they're doing the oddest slow dance set to no music, at the edge of the lake. She starts laughing in her struggle, and soon he is too. He gives her a spin as she's on her tiptoes, and when she's facing him again she leans forward, so close that he feels her laughter thrum in his chest. The laughter dies soon after, though, and the sun sets further. "Yeah, we have to go back," he says eventually, and she nods in agreement. Soon they're on concrete, and her stilettos are back on. They get in the car and begin their long drive back to the city.