#but i just want to beat whiny fucks to death sometimes

[faggling]

I wish I could find a way to not get pissed off all the time

[sodobabe]

The Beginning of our Hotheaded Loverboy PT. 1

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write more Dew fics. This one is a work in progress so consider this chapter one. Dew is very whiny in this part as he’s a new ghoul and is going through it. Let’s cut the ghoul a break. The ultimate goal for this is for it to be a Dew x Aether x GN reader. Please see warnings below as some of the stuff written is very heavy.

Trigger Warnings: suicide, mention of physical and sexual abuse of a minor, warning for readers who have Emetophobia (it’s not detailed but the action is mentioned).

Smut Warnings: slight humiliation, praise, ever so slight choking, Dew coming in his pants because he’s needy.

Enjoy, and please tell me if I missed warnings so I can add them!

Dewdrop was the ghoul that nobody wanted to mess with. He was hot headed and severely misunderstood. He had a troubled human life. Nobody knew his life story except for Aether.

He grew up an orphan, in and out of foster care. He had to put up a tough act from the very beginning. He never knew his father and lived with his drug abusing mother until she OD’d one day. The memory of finding his mom unconscious after coming home from picture day in the third grade is one that never leaves his mind and often results in nightmares. He was the one who had to call 911. At the age eight, he was always making sure his mom was laid on her side after she shot up whatever drug she could get her hands on. He knew how to cook for himself. He had to do everything for himself from then on out.

When he was placed in his first foster home, he thought he was in heaven. His foster parents spoiled him and made sure he was comfortable. He never had to cook for or fend for himself. Unfortunately, they could not keep him due to his foster mom being pregnant with twins so he went to another foster family. This family would be his own personal hell. The foster mom would beat him for not saying please or thank you. This actually sent him to the hospital multiple times for stitches. When asked what happened, he was conditioned to say he was clumsy. The foster father would groom him, often times resulting in sodomy of a minor or sexual assault if Dew said no. He was stuck with this family. He endured this torture for years until one night he had enough. He found an old belt that his foster mom would hit him with and went to his closet where he would inevitably end his own life. While nobody really grieved his death, his soul found comfort in the pits of hell. He felt like he belonged.

He had been an outsider his whole life. Always interested in things other people weren’t. One thing he loved to do was play guitar. Sometimes after school, he would go to the local music shop and play to his heart’s content. Well, now that he was in Hell, he was able to enjoy all of the things he secretly did in his human life.

He had heard about certain people being summoned to the ‘top side’ by a man often known as Copia. He heard rumors that this Copia figure was looking for musicians for his band. Dew didn’t know much about being summoned or what even being topside meant, he just knew that he would be content with whatever was thrown his way.

As luck would have it, Dew’s faithful day arrived. Satan himself approached the guitarist and told him he was being summoned. Dew wasn’t sure what that entailed but he was eager to find out if it meant he got to play guitar and show off his skills in the human world without actually being human. Before he knew it, he found himself in a dark dungeon-like room, his body aching.

“Fuck me, what the hell happened,” he muttered to himself.

“Oh, good. You’re awake,” Aether, a fellow ghoul called out from the corner.

”Wh-where am I?” Dew spoke with confusion in his voice.

“Welcome to the abbey. You’ve been out cold for a while, that’s not uncommon with new ghouls right after summoning. You’re going to be sore, that’s why I’m here. Consider me your death coach. Kinda like a life couch but since we aren’t humans, make it death,” Aether said with a chuckle. He thought he was the funny one.

“I’m Aether, by the way. I play, or played rhythmic guitar in the band. Now I’m the touring nurse and head nurse at the infirmary. I’m a quintessence ghoul. You’ll learn more about your ghoul quality as you regain your strength. For now, let’s get you to your room so you can rest on something a little bit more comfortable than this awful concrete floor,” Aether continued.

With that, Aether scooped up Dew and carried him back to the den. Dew’s eyes were taking in the surroundings. Once they went through the doors of the den, he felt other eyes on him. He looked around and noticed four other ghouls staring at him from the couch in the common area.

“Who are they?” He whispered to Aether.

”Oh, those are the other ghouls. We can do introductions tomorrow. Right now, my main goal is to make sure you gain your strength back after a harsh summoning,” Aether said as he carried the new fire/water ghoul through the door to his room.

“This is your room. You can decorate it however you want. We just ask that you try not to dirty it up as Copia’s rats will find their way in here and get lost,” Aether said as he placed Dew down in his nest.

“Are you going to stay with me?” Dew asked, curling up into a ball.

”Would you like me to?” Aether replied.

Dew nodded his head and Aether crawled into the nest and brought Dew to his chest, holding him tight. Aether knew how rough a summoning was. He knew what the process could do to one’s body. He wasn’t about to let the new ghoul go through the process alone. Dew relaxed against the warmth of Aether’s body, breathing a sigh of relief as some of the pain went away thanks to Aether’s quintessence. Before he knew it, he was fast asleep, his body preparing for a brand new life starting tomorrow.

Dew started to stir from a nightmare. Even in his human life, he was riddled with anxiety while he slept. His troubling past never left his mind. Aether woke up to the sound of Dew whimpering. He pulled the new ghoul close to him and gently rocked him.

”Shhh, Dew, you’re okay. You’re safe,” Aether whispered to the still asleep Dew.

Dew grew more antsy, now kicking his legs. Aether had no choice but to wake him.

”Dew, wake up,” he spoke softly. Nothing.

”Dewdrop, hey, wake up buddy,” he said, a little louder.

This caught Dew’s attention, startling him awake. He was now holding his chest as he tried to fill his aching lungs with air.

”Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Aether cooed as he ran his fingers through Dew’s hair.

Dew started sobbing into Aether’s chest.

”Dew, hey, it’s okay. It was just a dream. You are safe. Nothing is going to happen to you,” Aether said as he held Dew close and gently rocked him.

Once Dew’s breathing was manageable, Aether sat up with the new ghoul in his lap.

”Care to tell me what that was about so I know how to help?” Aether softly asked.

“You can’t tell anyone. You have to swear you won’t tell anyone,” Dew begged.

”Hey, whatever you tell me Dew, stays between us. I swear to Satan on that promise,” Aether reassured.

“It’s my foster dad. He-“ Dew suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe again.

”Dew, just breathe. Take your time. You’ve got this. You are in control right now. You lead the conversation,” Aether said as he tucked Dew’s long blonde hair behind his ear.

Dew took a large deep breath and relaxed against the quintessent ghoul.

”My foster dad. He would abuse me. He would do sexual things to me. I have these nightmares that are just never ending memories of what he did to me. I don’t know how to stop them,” Dew muttered out as tears became more evident in his eyes again.

“Oh, Dewy, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Is there anything I can do to help you with these memories?” Aether question, tears now forming in his eyes as he felt like his heart was shattering for the new ghoul.

“I- I don’t know. Everyone always told me to go to therapy but I was too scared to go alone,” Dew replied.

”I’ll go with you, Dew. I go to therapy to help with my troubles. Not only is Copia a great leader, he is also a wonderful and sympathetic therapist. He will know exactly how to help in this situation,” Aether said as he laid back down on the bed with Dew curled up on his chest.

The two of them fell back asleep and woke up a few hours later. Dew woke up feeling like his skin was on fire. He was sweating profusely. He didn’t know what was happening so he decided to wake Aether up.

“Aether?” Dew asked quietly as he nudged the sleeping quint.

“Hmmm?” Aether mumbled as he rolled over to face the panicked ghoul.

”I think I’m sick. Something is wrong. I’m burning up,” Dew muttered out.

Aether sat up and let out a yawn before a stretch. He placed his hand on Dew and jumped back due to the burning sensation on the back of his hand.

“Ah, that was fast. Your powers are setting in. You’re a Fire and Water ghoul hybrid so you are going to feel hot and sweaty,” Aether said as he got out of bed.

”I’m going to go get Copia and a bottle of water for you,” he continued as he left the room.

Dew was miserable. He laid back down against the pillows but he felt like he was going to overheat and die. He didn’t want any of his clothes on. He stripped down to his boxers and just laid there, waiting for Aether to get back with water. He wasn’t sure what exactly meant to be a Fire and Water ghoul hybrid but he figured he would find out soon enough.

”Dew? Are you decent?” Aether asked through the door.

”Yeah, just in my boxers,” Dew mumbled in agony.

Aether came in, followed by Copia. Dew sat up and looked eagerly at the multiple water bottles in Aether’s arms.

”Here, but drink it slowly,” Aether instructed as he sat down with the water ghoul, pulling him against his cool body.

Dew let out a sigh of relief at the contact. He was able to feel some comfort as he chugged the water.

”Dew, I said to drink it sl-“ Aether started to say before he was cut off by Dew throwing the water up all over the bed.

”Slowly,” Aether continued as he got up.

Dew started crying at the loss of contact from Aether’s cool body and due to the fact he just ruined the blankets and sheets on the bed.

“My ghoul, it is okay. Accidents happen,” Copia soothed the agonized Dew.

”Aether tells me that you have nightmares and that your new powers are settling in?” Copia asks as he brushes the ghoul’s hair behind his ear.

“Aeth, you swore not to tell,” Dew said with anger and betrayal in his voice.

”Dew, relax, I didn’t tell him what the nightmares were about. I wouldn’t let you down that fast,” Aether said as he went to put the bedding in the laundry.

“Would you care to tell me about them? Maybe I can be of assistance?” Copia asked, drawing Dew’s attention back to him.

“I don’t want to talk unless Aether is here,” he said as he laid his ears back.

“I understand. We can wait for him to get back,” Copia reassured the clearly stressed out ghoul.

It didn’t take long for Aether to get back. He laid back down on the bed and pulled the hot ghoul against his chest once more. Dew let out another sigh of relief as he was getting comfortable and slowly sipped the next bottle of water.

”Alright, are you ready to tell me?” Copia asked as he sat down on the bed.

”In my past life, I was in foster care. My last foster parents abused me. My foster mom would beat me for any reason. My foster dad would sexually abuse me. They were the reason I died. I took my own life with the belt my foster mother would beat me with. I was hoping the nightmares that I had when I was a human would stay in the past life, but I guess that was not the case,” Dew babbled out.

”Oh, I am so sorry you went through that, my poor little ghoul,” Copia said.

”This is why I don’t like to be alone. I fear they will find me. I know that is impossible but I can’t help the paranoia,” Dew continued.

”That is okay, may I suggest something to the two of you?” Copia asked.

Aether and Dew both nodded.

“Aeth, why don’t you move into Dew’s room or vice versa. That way Dew never has to be in a room alone with his thoughts?” Copia suggested.

”I’d be more than happy to do that. Dew, is that okay with you?” Aether asked.

”Yes, please. I don’t want to be alone. Aether is my only friend I’ve ever had,” Dew muttered out.

’Very well. You two get that figured out, and I want to start a weekly therapy meeting for you, Dew. And don’t worry, Aether can come with you,” Copia said as he got up off the bed to leave.

Dew was still relaxing against Aether when Aether tried to reposition the ghoul. He let out a hiss, and Aether, a chuckle.

“Dew, relax, I’m just repositioning myself,” Aether said as he reached between him and Dew, adjusting his growing cock in his boxers.

Dew felt Aether’s cock pressing against his back and felt his body getting hotter. He was getting flustered with himself for not being able to control whatever it was he was feeling.

“Fucking damnit. I can’t fucking do this,” Dew said as he pushed off of Aether and stood up.

”Dew, just take a breather,” Aether tried to calm him.

”I can’t. I feel like my skin is melting off of my body. I am having these thoughts I have never had before and it’s all just too fucking much,” Dew spat out.

Aether knew exactly what thoughts Dew was talking about. Being a ghoul meant that you had a higher sex drive, for some ghouls, even for members of the same gender. Aeth knew all about this but he could sense that even his own sexual needs became needier since Dew came around. Was Dew the mate Aether had always heard about? Ghoul’s couldn’t choose their mates. They were summoned for the ghouls when Copia thought they were ready. For instance, Copia summoned Rain as a mate for Swiss but Rain is also a contributing member of the band.

Dew started to ramble on a bit more about how he felt. Aether was trying to think of ways to get the fired up (pun intended) ghoul to calm down. That’s when he just let his hormones get the best of him. He got up off the bed, walked over to Dew, grabbed him by the throat and passionately kissed him. This caught Dew off guard but he gave in and relaxed against the much larger ghoul. Aether picked him up and carried him over to the bed, never breaking the kiss. Dew was holding onto Aether’s back devouring the kiss. This caused Aether to ever so slightly grind his hips against Dew’s abdomen, drawing a moan from the hybrid’s lips.

”Dew, we need to talk,” Aether said as he came up for air.

Dew was panting after the loss of contact but was coherent enough to nod his head to acknowledge that he was listening.

”I think, I love you,” Aether said, avoiding eye contact with Dew.

Dew was now a bright red and left speechless.

“Wha- what do you mean you love me? I’m not lovable. That’s impossible. You only just met me,” Dew finally babbled out after slowing his breathing.

“Dew, there are things that you don’t know yet. I’m about to explain a big one to you. Some of these things may explain the way you feel,” Aether said as he sat down next to Dew.

”As ghouls, we have mates. Copia has files from Satan and he has a power that can tell who is who’s mate and he summons them. Two of the ghouls here are mates, Swiss and Rain. What I am feeling right now is the way Swiss said he felt when Rain was summoned for him. I feel like I cannot leave you alone. I feel like I have known you for my entire lives, both human and in death. I have been rock fucking hard since you got here, which is uncommon for me because I am the least sexually motivated ghoul that is currently here. I literally feel like I am on the brink of orgasm standing here. Another aspect of this feeling is being irritable. Swiss said that your emotions for your mate are all over the place and are so high that it makes you want to crawl out of your skin. We, as ghouls, cannot control who our mate is. It is someone that our souls have a bond with and that bond cannot be broken unless we were to die,” Aether explained.

”Is that why I’m angry? I have all of these emotions surging through me and I just thought it was from the summoning. I feel like I need to cum but it’s almost as if I can’t. I also feel like I’ve known you forever and I was hoping the feeling would go away because I know I am unlovable, but part of me wants to be shown the love,” Dew explained.

”Dew, you are not unlovable. You just never had your soulmate in your lifetime. I’m here now. We have each other now. If you want to take some time to process all of this new information, I under-“ Aether explained before he was cut off by Dew.

”Don’t leave me, Aeth. I just got you, I can’t lose you already. Don’t go, I- I need you. So fucking bad,” Dew growled out.

”Okay, I won’t leave. I’m right here,” Aether said as he hugged the little ghoul.

“Does this mean we are dating?” Dew asked, shyly.

”Only if you want it to mean that. For Swiss and Rain, that’s how they view it,” Aether suggested.

Dew nodded his head and resumed kissing Aether. He wasn’t sure what overcame him. Before he knew it, he had his hands in Aether’s pants, slowly stroking the quintessence ghoul’s dick, pulling sweet, soft moans from his lips. This got Dew all worked up, he felt like he was going to cum in his own pants.

”Fuck, Aeth, I think I’m gonna cu-“ Dew said before his own body cut him off.

Thick ropes of cum coated the material of his boxers over his crotch, leaving a pattern of wet spots from the stick secretment.

“Fuck, such a good boy for me, that’s so hot. Love watching you lose control in your pants before you could even pull your dick out,” Aether praised as he nibbled on Dew’s ear.

Dew moaned as his body dealt with the big release. He was limp in Aether’s lap now. Aether got up and pulled Dew’s boxers off, wiping up any remnants of his seed, and threw them in the dirty clothes basket. Aether went into the bathroom to release his own loud, moaning for Dew in the process, before returning and tucking the sleepy ghoul into the nest with a back up blanket from the hall closet.

“Dew, baby, I’m going to go get us some food and something to drink. Are you okay staying here or do you want me to get one of the ghoul’s to bring us something?” Aether asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Can someone bring us something? I don’t want to get up but I also don’t want you to leave quite yet,” Dew said as he held onto Aether’s arm.

“Sure thing, baby boy,” Aether said and winked at Dew, causing his dick to twitch.

Aether picked up his phone and texted Rain:

TO Waterboy: Hey, sweet thing, think you can do me a favor and bring some Gatorade, nuggets, and Mac n Cheese to Dew’s room. He’s spent but doesn’t want me to leave yet.

Dew questioned the use of the term ‘sweet thing’ from Aether to Rain.

“You will soon find out that we all flirt with each other. We also all fuck each other. Swiss shares his mate. I personally, don’t want to share you quite yet. The flirting is just a friendly ghoul thing. You will get used to it,” Aether explained as he chuckled and laid down with the sleepy hybrid.

FROM Waterboy: Sure thing, big daddy.

Aether set his phone down and pulled the sleeping ghoul into his side, allowing Dew’s head to rest on his chest. He dozed off for a bit until he heard a soft knock on the door. This startled Dew, causing him to cling to Aether and flip his ears up to attention.

“It’s okay, Dew, it’s just Rain with our food and drinks,” Aether says as he rubs Dew’s back.

“Come in, Rainy boy,” Aether instructed.

Swiss opened the door for Rain and the two of them entered the dark bedroom. Dew laid his ears back and tightened his grip on Aether.

“Dew, they’re not taking me from you. It is okay. They just want to meet you,” Aether said, grabbing Dew’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

Dew relaxed a bit as Rain handed him and Aether the food and drinks.

“Can we sit?” Swiss asked.

”Yeah, go ahead. I figured we could do introductions slowly today since he’s still pretty timid and clinging to me,” Aether explained.

Swiss and rain pulled up bean bags and sat on the floor next to the bed.

”So, you’re Dew, the new hybrid that Copia has been talking about. We’ve heard you are a great guitar player as well as a lil hot headed,” Swiss chuckled.

”I wouldn’t say I’m a great guitarist but the hot headed portion is right,” Dew snarked back with a smile.

”Well, I’m Swiss, this is Rain. I’m a multi ghoul meaning I have more than two powers. Rainy baby here is a water ghoul so you and him could talk about some of your powers,” Swiss suggested.

”I see you’re clinging to our beloved Aether here. Aeth did Copia finally treat you?” Swiss continued.

”Yes. About fucking time. I’ve been proving to him I’ve been ready for my mate. Now I have the love of my life with me all the time,” Aether said before giving Dew a kiss, causing him to relax a bit.

“Congrats, man. And Dew, treat our favorite ghoul well, please,” Rain chimed in.

“Thanks, Rainy baby, can you send Mountain to us in a couple of hours. We are going to eat and take a nap so Dew baby here can gain some strength and help settle the emotional chaos that is his brain right now,” Aether suggested.

Swiss and Rain both nodded. Swiss got up from the bean bag and yanked Rain up with him before slapping the water ghoul’s ass and telling him to go to their room.

”He’s kinda scary,” Dew said as he dipped his nugget in ketchup.

”Who? Swiss?” Aether said with a giggle.

”He’s really nice once you get to know him. He just tries to be tough guy because of his past, kind of like you,” Aether reassured the ghoul.

“What’s your story?” Dew asked in between bites of his food.

”Dew, my love. That is a story for another time. Right now, let’s just relax and enjoy each other’s company. What would you like to watch on TV?” Aether asked as he turned the tv on.

”Can we watch Grey’s Anatomy?” Dew asked as he continued eating.

Aether nodded his head as his mouth was full of food. He turned on the tv and they ate their food while just silently enjoying each other’s company. Aether had noticed that Dew had finished his food and went to ask if the hybrid wanted more. As he turned his head to ask, he realized that Dew was leaning back in the pillows, fast asleep. He smiled to himself and put both of their plates on the nightstand next to the nest. Aether turned the tv down and laid down with his mate, pulling him to his chest, resulting in a low pur coming from the little sleeping ghoul. Aether was content. He figured he would be perfectly happy just working around the abbey and for the band but now he had someone to spend his time with whom he loved dearly. All of these happy thoughts made it easier for him to fall asleep. Before he knew it, he was back into his dreamland which all seemed like reality now that he had his mate with him.

[pokoinsides]

Uuuh...

Here is the list of the characters(the first part),whose stories and existence are possible to find in this AU - Traumatic Pasta: (‼️TW:Mentions of SA,selfharm,violence,child neglect, alcoholism‼️)

I also need to notice,that everything in this universe happens in early 2010s (wanna avoid all the questions about character's age,so just telling you in case you care :P)

🍭🫀 - Laughing Jack: used to kill children,making their death the most horrible,painful, gruesome and disgusting,but now he's a babysitter for all the pastas.Of course,Jack would rather die than be a lovely housewife till the end of his existence,but he has to, because of having a debt to the faceless mf.It is a story for another post,but to be short,Slenderman is the current owner his soul, who's giving L.J protection from angels out of Heavenly Office,who wanted to send him to the hell after his ward Isaac(since L.J is a paradise twink,I formed a theory,that he,unlike other entities,can possibly have soul).

The clown is irritated by every noise and cough,emotional as fuck and can barely bear the existence of the children of the mansion (exceptions: Sally and Toby.They're mama's innocent kittens forever and no matter what).

👔🐙 - Slenderman: actually,fella doesn't give any fuck about the fact of a bunch of mentally unstable teens living in the mansion located in the middle of the forest under his wing,because it's not his,but only Jack's concerns.His only goals are to use this emo gang in his own interests,so he barely cares of the poor ones' physiological condition and mental health.

Slenderman is extremely cold and arrogant towards everyone,even to Jack.To be honest, it's the whole event,if he shows up in the mansion to give his proxies orders about next missions and call Jackie's tartlets a piece of shit.

🧸🖍️ - Sally Williams: the poor one is a doomed spirit,who has got accidentally adopted by Slenderman (he just picked her soul up,carried it to Jack and then was like:"Here,do whatever you want with it").Sally doesn't remember,how she has got into the mansion and the abuse provided to her by her uncle.The girl doesn't even know,that she's dead and travels between two worlds in her ghosty head - the first one is cute and adorable with unicorns and glitter and the second one is just...just the reality with all the goofy monsters there.

Sally's actually a cute bun,who's really easy to get distracted with some silly activities (drawing or playing,for example).Sometimes she's whiny and moody as any other alive child.Her favourite activities are getting on Jack's nerves and following Slenderman around.

Mental illnesses:

-Canon: honestly,I haven't found anything certain about Sally's mental health problems (except the fact,that she gets anxious,if her uncle is mentioned,which could be some kind of the first symptoms of PTSD,if I'm not wrong).

-Headcanon: retrograde amnesia,psychosis.

🧇🪓 - Toby Rogers: he's a mentally unstable teen around 16-17.His backstory in this au is pretty similar to the original one.The only exception is,that he hasn't burnt the whole neighborhood - instead,he was sponsored by the faceless mf with an axe from the garage,killed his abusive father and then a few more innocent people on his way to the forest.That's the reason,why he's feeling a bit of guilt because of having blood on his hands (not his father's one,ofc).

Toby had never experienced any kind of healthy family dynamic,so,when he had started living under Slendy's care,he quickly got attached both to L.J and Slenderman,seeing parental figures in them.He's literally the one,who gets nervous,when two entities have arguments and always tries to bring them together.

Mental illnesses:

-Canon: BPD,analgesia,Tourettes Syndrome.

-Headcanon: ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder (I dunno,if it's allowed to use GAD,so yeah).

🚬💊 - Tim Wright: he's an old mf in his early thirties.After beating all the shit out of Jay on the parking place,he decided to escape from the state and then (what a surprise!) got caught by the slendy fucker again,so he just...gave up?

Understanding his own helplessness in the situation,he decided to take its course,letting Masky follow Slenderman's orders and himself just becoming a drunkard,who tries to lose his consciousness of the whole desperation in alcohol.

Mental illnesses:

-Canon: in Marble Hornets' series it is noticed,that Tim has been suspected in having schizophrenia in his childhood,but it has never been proved or disproved,so I won't try to say something certain on this topic<:)

-Headcanon: DID (alter - Masky),Korsakoff's Syndrome (due to alcohol),CPTSD (thanks to faceless daddy;333).

🎭🔪 - Masky: Tim's alter.If the host for the current moment of plot is an always drunk to vomit vegetable,Masky is a cold-blooded murderer with no morals and whose only goal is following Slenderman's orders.In spite of being hated by Tim with all his soul,Masky himself is pretty neutral to him.He tries to care as much as he want and can about the body's health,preventing any suicide attempts or extreme self harm,but at all he only does it to keep body decent for missions.Plays the role of trauma holder and protector.

🎨🩸 - Bloody Painter: a murderous sicko with passion for art.He is one of the killers,whose determination of reality is the least broken,so all his felonies are done just because of the lack of moral.

It's really rare to see Helen anywhere out of his working place in the mansion.He even prefers to eat in his room,avoiding "family dinners".In communication with others Helen shows himself like a polite young man with high manners,but he still tries to avoid any contact with other pastas.

Mental illnesses:

-Canon: some wiki pages notice,that Helen is in autistic spectrum,so I'll add it here too:)

-Headcanon:body dysmorphophobia (due to the trauma tied up with his parents and their will to have a girl,not a boy).

That's all for today.I'm going to upload the rest a little bit later!:D

I don't have any decent arts for this post,so here you have the ones I've made with L.J and others for my friends.

[place-holder-for-witty-username]

we need more men in media who treat their girl right. I think THIS is what the whole hot villain trope should be, not whatever the fuck was going on with le murder incel whiny emo manbaby kylo ren and rey solo. when i say want to read/ watch fucked up gothic/dark romance i don't mean that nonsense.

i want it more like the scary fella in The 300 having to look to his wife for a nod of approval before kicking your maneen down a well and yelling THIS IS SPARTA. i love men who respect their wives/ partners and treat them as complete equals if not superiors.

i have to say i am really tired of the common trope in romantic media at the moment being 'woman is forced to be subservient to man, man is rude and condescending to woman, man abuses woman, woman realises kink she didnt know she had, man takes advantage of woman, man and woman become power couple, woman now has agency which excuses everything that came before because he's hot now and redeemed' like in ACOTAR.

to my mind that's not beauty and the beast. thats like severus snape's wet dream and the reason why lily potter probably has a restraining order against him. it is, in my opinion, telling women that if you submit and grovel and endure enough, then your obedient love will inspire him to change. an attitude which in real life will make u end up dead. be like sophie hatter and take no shit even if you do love him. (bacon burning broomstick beating poison weedkiller throwing best suit cutting uping and hair do ruining optional but not advised for legal reasons)

they can be 'dark' and messed up and weird gothicy people without the narrative justifying things and not addressing the problematic elements and instead just glossing over them and excusing it.

i like my silly fictional melodrama gothic romance weird and drama to the nines but Consensual and not a woman emotionally bankrupting herself and compromising on her values to make enemies to lovers work. sometimes the bad guy wants a dark queen to rule the world with. sometimes she wants that too and they can be a fucked up little monster couple together. sometimes he's just three layers of narcissistic abuse in a trench coat and ought to check himself before he wrecks himself.

i mean cathy and heathcliff were a deeply fucked up evil couple of psychopaths who ruined everything for everyone and were a toxic co-dependent mess, but emily bronte didnt pretty it up. she acknowledged they were a nightmare bag of bastards and yet managed to write a nuanced exploration of their love for each other in a way that didnt make everything they did seem excusable.

anyways this just popped into my head. probably because i am frustrated that all the 'dark romance' recs are just jazzed up right-wing trad wife sex dreams and not 'he digs up her corpse just to see her face one more time after years of being haunted by her ghost, until he is driven to the point of madness and die of starvation only to be reunited with her spirit after death, where they still walk the moors as ghosts to this day scaring the shit out of little shepherd boys because psychological torture is their love language".

Oh, I will be cruel to you, Marya Morevna. It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be. But you understand, don’t you? You are clever enough. I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable. But I am your servant. When you starve I will feed you; when you are sick I will tend you. I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased. For you alone, I will be weak.

Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless

Being your slave, what should I do but tend

Upon the hours and times of your desire?

I have no precious time at all to spend,

Nor services to do, till you require.

Shakespeare, Sonnet 57

La Belle et la Bête (1946) / Wuthering Heights (1939)

[anyoneseenadam]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a Azriel x reader where they are cuddling and talking after a long day of work?

pairing: azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: mental health/anxiety being mean, insecurity, asides from that it’s pure fluff and nice and lovey dovey

a/n: I love writing fluff omg, I went in a slightly different route that I intended with this one but I hope you like it :))))

------------------------------------------------------------------

You pushed the heavy wooden door of your home open, dragging your legs in as you fought to keep your eyes open. You pushed the door closed with your back, leaning your head against it, and closing your eyes for a second, before sliding down, still leaning against the door, and wrestling to remove you shoes with a huff.

You heard a cough ahead of you and looked up to see Azriel fondly watching you, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He was still in his leathers, so you presumed he had just beat you home, his tired eyes sparkling with humour as he watched you struggle with your boots. You didn’t say anything as you stood and padded over to him on heavy feet, wrapping your arms around his middle and squeezing your eyes shut.

You didn’t want to think of the long week you had dealt with, you just wanted to bury yourself under a mountain of pillows and blankets and maybe wrap your limbs around Azriel like a koala bear. He wrapped his arms around you, scarred hands rubbing up and down your back as the two of you stood together in silence, simply breathing in the other and allowing your souls to be reacquainted.

When you first met Azriel he had wandered into your shop on a whim, wanting to get Feyre some flowers to congratulate her on the pregnancy and he remembered Elain had mentioned this shop being one of her favourites. He had expected to be in and out, not in the mood for a long conversation, or any conversation for that matter. But as soon as he saw your pretty face, your flowy, dress that stopped just above your dirt covered knees, all his plans were thrown out the window.

“Can I help you?” you had asked, sweet-lipped, your voice sounding the way cherries tasted, sweet but with a deeper richness. A smooth tone that he could listen to for hours.

He ended up buying as many flowers as he could without seeming insane, not wanting you to ever stop speaking, wanting you to explain the meaning behind every flower in your store if it meant he got to stay with you.

You had noticed him as well of course. Who wouldn’t, he was beautiful and carried himself with so much grace and poise that you were sure he was a fallen angel. You had lengthened your descriptions of the flowers, face heating when you realised you were rambling and fighting a grin when he asked you to continue.

You had invited him to sit with you as you were brewing tea and he had accepted, sipping tentatively at the tea you told him you grew yourself, the greenhouse in your garden perfect for the needed flowers. The two of you had spoken for hours before he left, ignoring the confused looks from his friends when he came home with six separate bouquets of flowers. Instead deciding to picture your pretty face as he lay in bed that night, finally getting rest for the first time in weeks.

Now, you were wrapped up in his arms, still not speaking. He didn’t worry too much, he knew that sometimes you weren’t ready to speak, that some days you just needed some quiet to process your day and come back to yourself. When you had first explained the way you would drift from your own mind, feeling as if you were floating above your own body Azriel had almost cried, the realisation that maybe he wasn’t the only one in the world, that maybe there was someone for him after all.

He lifted you into his arms and carried you to the kitchen, carefully avoiding the plants littered around the house, before shifting you onto one hip like a baby, knowing you wouldn’t be letting go any time soon. He set about brewing your favourite tea, smiling as he picked up the pot that you had shared the fifth time he came to visit you.

The store had been closed but you had invited him, so he pushed in, cringing at himself when he realised how early he was but all his thoughts came to a halt when he heard that sweet voice of yours coming from your apartment above your shop.

“My lovers got humour, she's the giggle at a funeral, knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshiped her sooner. If the Heavens ever did speak, she's the last true mouthpiece, every Sunday's getting more bleak a fresh poison each week- AH!” you screamed when you saw him standing in the doorway, pressing a hand to your heart as it slowed back to its regular beat. “Fuck you, oh my.”

He genuinely laughed then, not expecting to hear you swear. The girl who had green stained fingers and who fed stray cats, the girl who always decorated for every holiday and who apologised when she bumped into inanimate objects. Your face was hot to the touch and you wouldn’t look him in the eyes, so he had stopped laughing, moving to up your face, forcing you to look in his eyes.

“You have the prettiest voice I’ve ever heard.” He said sincerely but you scoffed,

“No I really don’t,” you laughed but he saw the insecurities then, “I know it’s whiny.” He frowned; your voice having been one of your most attractive traits in his eyes. He had started to see beneath your cracks then, but now with you wrapped around him he remembered how deep they went.

“Do you want to talk about it baby?” he asked carefully, not wanting to startle you, knowing how deep you could get in your head, tiny noises startling you when you were zoned out.

“Bad brain.” Was all you muttered, and he frowned but just kissed your forehead and continued making your tea. When he was done he carried both you and the tea through to your bedroom, setting the tea down before twisting you again and carrying you to the bathroom. He sat you on the side of the bath and wet a cloth, cleaning the makeup from your face, and moisturising your skin before picking you back up and taking you back to your room. You slowly changed into one of his shirts and some loose boxers before crawling under the duvet and reaching your hands out to Azriel who had changed into his pyjama bottoms.

He crawled in next to you, pulling you into his chest, his wings wrapping around the two of you and then his shadows settling over both of you, protecting you from the outside world.

“How was your week?” he asked, one hand coming up to play with your hair knowing how much it relaxed you and feeling his heart warm when he felt you smile against his neck.

“Bit shit,”

“How so?”

“Just rude customers, and this one guy wanted like two dozen flowers which I made up but then he couldn’t pay and trashed the bouquets I had made him. Plus all the noise made my anxiety play up,” you muttered, and he frowned, not liking how put out you sounded.

“Want me to kill him?” he asked, only half-joking.

“I think that’s a bit extreme,” you laughed into his shoulder.

“Lightly maim then?”

“Maybe just a scare, make him think his house is haunted or something,”

“That I can do.” He smiled, kissing you, happy to have you partially back to him.

“What about you, how was your week, I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.”

“I know, sorry. I’ve been doing some stuff for Rhys.”

“I’m presuming I’m not allowed to hear about it,” you said, well aware of how secretive his job was.

“It’s not a mission per say, I’m just babysitting.”

“Is it fun at least?” you asked, grinning at him cheekily and he scrunched up his face, thinking back over his week of baby sitting two horny Fae’s while he dreamt of being in your little apartment.

“Not the word I would use, they’re too horny for their own good.”

“The babies?!”

“No! NO! They’re not actually children!” he backtracked as you collapsed into a fit of giggles, Azriel joining you soon after. “You know I think they suspect something,” he said once you finally calmed down, “I think they’ve worked out I’m sneaking off.”

“Hmm, guess we have to kill them then.” You mused and Azriel grinned,

“Only reasonable course of action.”

“I mean we’d be fools not to,”

“Clearly.” He laughed, before tightening his grip, “seriously though, do you want to meet them?”

“I mean, yeah. I think it’d be nice,” he noticed your mood had shifted again and nudged you, imploring you to continue, “It’s just you’re all so accomplished and amazing, powerful people and I’m just… me.”

He tried to ignore the pain that stabbed into his heart at your self-deprecating words, having thought them about himself enough times to know how they felt. “Don’t say that, you’re an incredible person. And even if you weren’t the kindest, sweetest person I had ever met, you’re still the girl I love and honestly I think Cassian is one ex-girlfriend away from selling me to the highest bidder.”

You laughed and nuzzled in farther, “Kindest person you’ve ever met?”

“Well asides from the occasional death threats,”

“ah yes, ignoring that. Of course.” He laughed and kissed your forehead, eyes closing as he heard your voice get softer and your breath slower.

“I love you.” He whispered into your hair as you felt your eyelids droop, the weight of the week lifted off of your shoulders as you buried yourself in Azriel’s arms, peaceful in his embrace.

“I love you.”

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA ��this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[orleans-jester]

“Is it?” Frank said, as the boy brought up the obvious. They were probably all around the same age, but there was something just so juvenile about this guy, it really made him think that he was a stupid fucking kid. “Then I should hit it harder next time.”

It was a wonder this guy was able to go on for this long without being murdered. Perhaps it was Chernabog’s protection from the other side, but Frank could not imagine how anyone, not even Oogie fuckin’ Boogie, could put up with this sort of whininess for very long. He could feel the erosion at his patience. It was going to be real bad for Silas if he kept it up. Neither Delta nor himself had long fuses.

He was serious about not judging her. Everyone else in the world, fucking right, they were laid bare to him. He knew their thoughts, he could judge them better than most. But he had finished his judgment of Delta right when he realized he liked her. That was the only judgment that had been needed.

Even if she was better trained in patience than he was, as was demonstrated now.

Such was the curse of family though, one proud member talking about you with everyone else. Chernabog seemed to be that one, letting his son be privy to his devotion to Delta. Frank understood. Though he didn’t have much of a family outside of his mother at one time, she spoke about him to the ladies in her tailor shop. It was no mere annoyance. It was a large one.

But a thought from Delta took him away from that and he smirked over at her. Oh, those blessed memories. Delta helping him in securing the hooks, proving that he was the authority in taking pain, and she was in giving it. She was the only person to which he would ever belong, he knew that in his heart, whether it was beating or not.

He’d bring Silas to the construct that Chip had made for them, their torture tower, which also doubled as his pleasure rooms. Pulleys and ropes still hung from on high, and a few books scattered around showed his literary pursuits, even going as far as to reading while he was suspended sometimes. He found it helped him concentrate better.

“And what kind of art do you usually make?” Frank said, seeing Silas as a blank canvas. “Something modern like splatterpunk?” He chuckled as it it was cheap. He was hard-frozen into his own aesthetics. Blood and gore was fun, but that was more … Oogie’s direction. Violence for violence sake. Can’t see the forest for the trees, but deforestation is her passion. Frank - he had his own style, closer to Silas’s fathers, though he wouldn’t really know it. “I prefer surrealism. Exquisite corpses. You see, my girl and I - we work best as a team."

He would just suspend Silas for now, wrap him up in a body bag and let it hang from the ceiling, giving Silas time to think, to whine, to hope, to simper, whatever he wanted to do, but it was secure for now. Then he’d go back to Delta because being by her side was where he belonged the most.

--

There were many departed who were not in attendance. Iain - sure, he had friends up top but he was united with his daughter, he wasn’t going anywhere. Esmeralda wasn’t showing face - thank fuck for that, she was probably one of the most unwanted. She’d been trying to keep Frollo away from the living, keeping him down there rather than up there. Sally - she was always watching but she wasn’t approaching. Her son was all grown up. Delta too. As much as her heart ached for them, she knew - she didn’t have much choice but to let them go. They didn’t need her. They didn’t even want her. This next life - she was happier in it. She’d hopefully see them along in their own journey through life and death.

Figaro had been making rounds before seeing Lance. Willem might have been their person but he had brought a date and she wasn’t going to get in the way of their flirting and longing looks and tender touches, yeck. So bounce, bounce bounce until their eyes settled upon Lance and now they were in the big group that was the growing band.

They turned their head and saw Willem and grinned even more. “You sure you don’t wanna join the …” then their eyes went wide, looking behind him. Another ghost, perhaps? Another someone that they knew? Better.

“Not leaving without saying hello, are you, my boy?”

Somehow, he had wandered here. He’d always wanted to see the inside of this castle, and the tug from his loved ones being here had somehow got him to trundle up and inside. Figaro took a minute to try to grasp this, eyes actually filling up with tears and emotion, and then combined the three of them in a hug.

The flesh and blood intruder got a smack at the back of his head.

"HEY NOW! That's my head." As if Frank didn't know. That childish side was rearing. His left arm and even his foot stomped as he pouted about it. He couldn't move much else without actually trying to fight himself free of Frank's clutch.

Delta had to admit it helped her keep her cool when Frank said he wasn't judging her between their minds' link. She assumed so she was judging herself so harshly. If she was, why shouldn't he? That was her logic. It was hard to keep this dragon's fiery side cool once flared. If she knew Frank at all that was hardly his goal. She was sure he'd have loved to see her have at Silas, but she couldn't help but hold back. Silas knew her a little too well for her liking considering she didn't really know him at all other than who he was or where he'd been.

God damn Chernabog.

Delta gave Frank the look of thank you because she really had needed a moment to step back and think. In their minds' eye she'd clutch them together pulling him down from Spider Man's upside kiss, but this was no Marvel kiss. This was their kiss. FrankenLurch and his acid girl. The magic of their mind was she would pull from memories, Frank dangling from a suspension just out of her reach and she'd pull him tugging that hooked skin a little harder to flush full lips proper against his all while putting out smoke against the underside of his jaw. An added sweet kiss of Frank's beloved pain. It was the sort of kiss that could make her wet, drenched in fact, ready to put on quite show of self love below him as he dangled in the air. But this moment wasn't for that. This moment's mind kiss held a need of their strong connection, a firm hold before she stepped away.

Delta trusted Frank to do whatever needed to be done from there. She'd come back to him when she'd composed her thoughts on this. She wasn't even sure if Frank was going to just throw Silas aside for now and come back to the party or start having his way with him, but as she stepped away she felt confident Frank had everything under control.

So, she took her time to reconfigure. She held her head high and walked back out to take a peak at her party. She'd gather reports from her fae soldiers to see if anything important was going on. She'd take note of attendance. It was hard to tell anyone left when there were so many new and uninvited arrivals. She watched closely on the unhinged like her Hunch, the unpredictable sort. She noted the new band at play. Whatever. The Cheshire Cat Dj had gotten on her nerves anyway.

She did love the unpredictable sort, but the problem with them was they didn't always do things your way. Good thing she wasn't the Queen of Hearts or these people would be in bigger trouble. Delta just kept tabs watching them all not for order, but for knowing. If chaos was happening on her watch, in her castle, she wanted to be in the know. The band had something to do with the Reaper's family it seemed by the looks of it, so Delta was all the more approving. The more Merry Men she saw she couldn't be too upset by these ghostly comings considering they were all loyal to her. The castle seemed fairly safe so far considering the untimely realization that the castle was unprotected on this night.

As for Silas being drug away he kept his shoulders hunched up this time as opposed to how easily he walked the first time. This time he felt more like he was being dragged instead of escorted like a VIP. At least at first that's how it felt. Then the closer they got, so up against the other that way, so bold in his confidence to lure Silas in his clutches, that quite Frollo romantism kicked in, that poetry is classism, in how the heart beats for Poe and there's a knocking at his door kind of way.

Silas would say quite idealistically, almost sensually, and softly like he'd had an epiphany. "Oh... oh... I see. You want me to be the art now."

"I'm usually the artist, you see."

There was intrigue in his face. Curiosity sparked more at the idea of meeting a fellow artist than worried about whatever this man thought he was about to inflict upon him.

---

Outside at the party that Delta was taking a step back in, dressed to the nines, and trying to shake off how Silas getting under her skin, Willem had been spending most of his time with Nutmeg and the fae population. However, much of the fae population dispearsed when Delta needed extra security to figure out what was going on there.

Willem would notice a lot of his usual friends went barreling out the door. They looked like they were having fun. He peeked out and noticed Babyface and Ellie on the beachfront property side, not enough to notice what they were doing, but the water had a way of taking his mind other places too. There he was with Nutmeg, finally, in a date-ish situation, and he couldn't help but have similar thoughts as Babyface. The past was washing up in those waters. He didn't see Ian among the ghosts. He touched the spot of his curly headed memorial tattoo. He sure didn't see her either. He wasn't sure what he'd say if he did ever see her again.

Figaro seemed to be having a blast in the middle of the Theme Song Guy Band hullaballoo. He almost didn't want to disturb them, but being their person he felt the need to say something if he was leaving and Nutmeg would just have to understand. If she didn't, she wasn't the one anyway. So, he walked up to Figaro and said, "Hey uh, I think I'm going to head out for a bit. I have some dolls to check up on. I have to take care of them tonight. It's a weird night. Probably a good night to check in on them."

Yes, he meant Livvy's dolls, legendary female pirate, true form forever. His heart couldn't let them be and something about seeing that shore line felt like the breeze blowing his sails. It was a reminder of her. Hook's son always trusted the wind. Time to give those dolls a check in. He felt like their caretaker now that she wasn't around to love them like he knew she did. He thought too much like Geppetto now. They were all little people to him whether they'd been brought to life or not. Each one deserved significant care.

[definegodliness]

Time flies when you're fending off your demons. I failed tonight, but that's okay. Sometimes, it's just that nothing gets through. All you can do is try and find a spark, but if searching costs more than you have to give, and its denial actually starts hurting, you have to make amends with the darkness and the emptiness.

It's just one of those nights.

TV is a death sentence. There's nothing worse than television if you're trying to feel less alienated, looking for a random genuine emotion, or safe place. Nothing known seemed a good pick. Besides, I wouldn't want my favourite movies or shows laced with this sadness. It would haunt me the next time I'd watch them. That's how I ruined The Hobbit, for instance.

I tried, but couldn't write. No sentence wanted to be poetically strung together to the other. All I wrote were questions without answers. I tried to find what was missing inside me now, by comparing this state to the last time I felt so glad to be alive. But I couldn't retrieve any missing piece. When as the last line I rhymed: "I apologise for asking so many questions", I deleted the entire thing. It wasn't a poem, and I didn't want to sell it as such. My heart or soul's despair was too fragmented, and my intellectual abilities and coping too cold.

I did read a couple of nice poems on here. But after a while I realized I didn't need the refresh button much this evening.

Scrolled some memes. Nose exhaled a couple of times, but the trade off was scrolling through all this failed attempts at edgy bullery, all this bullshit political and social propaganda people guise as funny. It's not a good time for me to be confronted with humanity's underbelly.

It's not a good time for me.

I realized I hadn't listened to music for a long while. So I opened spotify and looked at the blank search window a bit. Couldn't think of anything to listen, let alone let the defeatedly picked song I last listened to inspire the next song, and another. It's all murky in me. Blocked off from experiencing existence.

However, like I said, that's okay. Sometimes you fail. I know this night is going to be fucking long. And I'll keep getting up out of bed to walk around a bit and reset. Probably smoke a cigarette. Maybe write you, dear, unfortunate reader, this... whatever this is. At least I'm not selling it as poetry.

But now, what? I'll be hitting the hay again, where an agony will wait for me trying to convince me its only escape is death. I will accept it is there. Abide its presence until my body's natural needs beat my brain and I collapse into sleep. Then, tomorrow I will live again.

That's the only thing important.

That's why it's okay when the demons win. They can make me suffer, but they cannot control my actions. When I can't win, inaction wins.

So, sleep attempt four, or five, commences. I dread it. As posting this message. Might regret its 't.m.i.'- and whininess, but it is finished. And I think there's some words of wisdom in there. At the least some moments of recognition. For tonight, that will make me feel less alienated.

Sweet dreams, then.

There's always a chance they are pleasant no matter the waking state.

You better believe it.

[dodo-begone]

Say That you Love Me

Pairing: Yan!Grian x Reader, Yan!Xisuma x Reader

Word count: 666 words (nice)

Warning: Yandere, mention of stalking

Summary: General yandere headcannons for Grian and Xisuma.

Grian

He is absolutely annoying. Wants to be around you constantly, do things with you constantly. You know, the whole shi-bang.

Essentially just a puppy following its master, except this time it’s a lovesick fool following their crush. It’s an endearing sight from the outside.

Aw Grian is making a new friend! And he really likes them. Just like he liked Mumbo! They’re just doing everything together. Becoming besties and stuff. How pleasant. :)

He’d build you houses, no questions asked. They’d be big and grand, only the best for you!!

Also since he built them, he can go in anytime. It’s his, after all. And you’re in his house. So that means you’re his too!!

Also since he built them, he can go in anytime. It’s his, after all. And you’re in his house. So that means you’re his too!!

Before he built you a house, though, he’ll just,,, go home with you sometimes. Just follows you right in, whether you invite him in or not.

Those times are usually when he wants attention, specifically cuddles. So when you’re down at any moment, like laying or sitting, he’ll just,,, fucking flop onto you.

Purrs too while holding you close with his wings.

Whiny baby. Will whine for your attention and affection. Come on, please? Just one more hug?

Will make up games to play with you. Occasionally he’ll invite others to play with you two. Or just some friendly competition between two friends; just against Grian and someone else. Just go sit on the sidelines and watch, for your safety of course. And can you cheer him on? He’ll really need and appreciate it. :)

Sometimes when he’s playing with you, he’ll let you win. When he’s playing with others he just wins to prove he’s better and capable. Like capable of caring for you.

When the competition is between you two, the prize is usually and IOU. Grian always cashed it in for a hug, cuddle session or a little smooch on the cheek (that only happens every once in a while). You always give it to him without too much though as you don’t mind showing him the affection.

Xisuma

Now who needs to “stalk” when you own the server? You just know everything! Of who’s on at any given moment, what they’re doing and every little thing about their past. It’s important to do background checks on everyone.

If he finds out that anybody fucked with you (in any way, shape, or form), then he’ll go fuck ‘em up right back. They’d want the devil to beat them to death, it’s that bad.

Oh and you can’t forget the need to know someone’s schedule for the next few months- it's very important!

Okay let’s stop lying to ourselves, he definitely stalks you. Don’t listen to what he says, he does. He can deny it all he wants, but it still happens.

He fucking obsesses and “stalks” you, let’s be honest. It’s his own form of stalking. Like he does but doesn’t, if you catch my drift. He just… magically ends up where you are.

If he got some “competition”, that shouldn’t be a problem. He can just… ban them from your life lmao.

Just the “you have been stopped” meme

“Haha they aren’t gonna bother you again!” “Xisuma, that was my brother-” “Won’t bother you again. :D”

I feel he’d somehow find the most tedious, long and lonely tasks he can just to spend some time with you. Specifically one-on-one time. During these tasks, y’all do everything together; the task, talking, eating and sleeping. Literally everything. And he loves it, lives for those moments.

Loves to have control over you. Or the feeling of control. Like he can control you but is gracious enough to give you freedom.

See, he’s really nice! He’s giving you all this freedom! Now please come home, it’s dangerous for you to be out with anybody else.

[rnelodyy]

C!Dream, the status quo, and why conflict is okay sometimes.

In this fandom, there is a lot of talk about conflict, who causes it, who avoids it, who is to blame for it, et cetera. An argument often heard from c!Dream apologists to justify his abysmal treatment of L’Manburg in general and c!Tommy in specific is “He was just trying to stop people causing conflict! He was protecting the server by stopping these conflict-causing maniacs!”

And it’s not hard to see where they get this idea from, because c!Dream repeats this sentiment a lot, from his “happy family” speech, to the speech during the final disc war about how c!Tommy causes constant conflict, to the fact that he always portrays himself as a reasonable authority figure trying to calm down these feral creatures always fighting with one another (and we’ll get to that idea…).

My reasoning for explaining how c!Dream’s worldview is deeply flawed may be a bit controversial, so I decided to write this essay to explore the following idea:

Sometimes, conflict is good actually.

(all /dsmp /rp, names refer to characters, not content creators)

Conflict, in itself, is morally neutral. It’s the context surrounding the conflict that allows us to ascribe morality to it. This fact makes this topic a LOT harder to discuss, because morality is subjective. What I’m writing here is all my own opinion, you may agree or disagree on some points, I just ask that you read it through and please don’t start shit over this.

Anyway, the context. It’s dependent on a number of factors.

Justification. Why was the conflict started?

Intent. What is the desired outcome for either party?

Proportionality. If the conflict is started out of revenge or punishment, is it proportionate to the wrong committed?

Power Dynamic. Is the person on the receiving end more, less, or equally as powerful as the person starting the conflict?

For example, let’s compare the L’Manburg War for Independence with the intervention during the Final Disc War.

Justification:

Dream declared war on L’Manburg because he saw them as traitors, and the land they occupied as rightfully his. Therefore, them making a country of their own where his rules didn’t apply was a violation of the status quo he wanted to uphold.

Punz and the others intervened because they didn’t want Dream to kill Tommy and/or Tubbo, and were tired of his constant meddling in their affairs.

Intent:

Dream’s intent was to attack L’Manburg until they surrendered, no matter how much hurt he’d cause or how many lives he’d take.

Punz and the other’s intent was to stop Dream from killing Tommy and Tubbo, and stop whatever plan he had to keep the server under control.

Proportionality:

L’Manburg declared independence in response to brutal violence as retribution for clumsy attempts at crime, on land nobody except Wilbur was using, were explicitly pacifistic and invited Dream to make an embassy in their land to discuss trade. Dream responded by declaring war, destroying their land, luring them into a trap and killing them, and continuing to beat them down until they surrendered.

Punz and the others intervened after Dream dragged two teenagers out into the wilderness to fight him, with little chance of them ever returning. This was after months of Dream’s meddling in conflicts he had nothing to do with, trying to control people’s actions, ripping Tommy away from his home and abusing him in secret and, in the end, destroying the place most synonymous with freedom from his rule. They intervened by getting Tommy and Tubbo to safety, letting Tommy (the kid who arguably suffered the most at Dream’s hands) take his items and beat him to death twice, then locking him up in prison.

Power Dynamic:

L’Manburg was significantly less powerful than Dream and his goons, with less skilled fighters and heavily inferior gear. They held their position fairly okay at the start, but after the Final Control Room, they were basically defenseless against Dream’s assault.

Dream had always had unprecedented power on the server. He’s leveled entire countries, crowns and dethrones kings when he feels like it, overruled the decision of a court of law, and in the end, had Tommy and Tubbo completely at his mercy before the intervention. Even beating Dream was seen as such an insurmountable task that it took fourteen people (excluding Clingyduo) to take him down.

The thing about conflict, even violent conflict, is that it’s not always negative. If your sister is being abused by her boyfriend and refuses to report it out of fear, you’re gonna be hard-pressed to find someone unable to sympathize with you if you go over to his house and break his nose.

What is a defining feature of conflict, is that it disrupts the status quo.

That’s not to say that some characters are always disruptors and others always preservers of the status quo. For example, during the Disc War, Tommy is the one trying to preserve and Dream the one trying to disrupt (the status quo being: Tommy owns the discs), and during the L’Manburg War for Independence, Tommy and Wilbur are disrupting while Dream is preserving (the status quo being: Dream has absolute power and the entire server needs to follow his rules).

It’s ALSO not to say that this disruption is always bad, because sometimes, the status quo fucking sucks, and throwing it on its head is the right thing to do. Overthrowing Schlatt is seen by everyone on the SMP and pretty much every fan as morally correct, as while Schlatt being president was the status quo, it meant he was ruling as a dictator, exiling his political opponents, imprisoning and heavily taxing dissenters, being verbally and physically abusive to his cabinet members, and forcing a guest at his festival to execute a sixteen year-old boy for spying for the political opponent he exiled.

Conflict being a genuinely good force of societal change isn’t usually brought up in the fandom though, at least not consciously. A lot of people, both on the server and IRL, see conflict only as a source of hurt and pain, and try to prevent or avoid it as much as possible.

And here’s where Dream differs from someone like Ranboo. Because while both Dream and Ranboo operate on the assumption that all conflict is bad all the time, Ranboo shows this by becoming conflict-avoidant to the extreme, to the point where he refuses to pick sides in pretty much any conflict, no matter how obviously good or evil one side is. Meanwhile, Dream shows this by becoming controlling to the extreme. Mitigating conflict isn’t enough, he needs to control everything to prevent all conflict ever.

In Ranboo’s case, this is less due to ideology and more due to personality. Ranboo is a deeply anxious person, and hates being in the middle of fights. He’s also… not very self-critical? He has issues with self-worth, but he very rarely takes a look in the mirror to inspect what it actually is he believes and says, making him very gullible and convinced of his own righteousness. But while that’s a VERY interesting character trait, Ranboo’s conflict-avoidance doesn’t make him a very good character to examine in the context of conflict and what it means.

So let’s look at Dream. Because, despite claiming to want to stop conflict, Dream CONSTANTLY starts conflicts or escalates existing ones. The L’Manburg War for Independence could’ve been entirely avoided if Dream hadn’t lashed out so heavily at a nation of pacifists who made their own area to avoid violence from authorities. As I explored in my George Vod Analysis, the griefing of George’s house would’ve been a lighthearted dispute between two people if Dream hadn’t taken over the entire thing and turned it into one of the biggest diplomatic crises in the server’s history. Mexican L’Manburg hadn’t even existed for an hour before Dream came by to kill its residents and destroy its land.

So why is Dream so focused on stopping conflict, despite constantly starting it himself? Why is THAT his hill to die on?

Simple. Dream wants to prevent disruptions to the status quo. That status quo being “Dream is the one in power and everyone has to listen to him.”

But you can’t say that out loud. If you say “everyone needs to listen to me otherwise it’s not fair”, you sound like a whiny five year-old at best, and a tyrant at worst. So, instead of saying that, Dream says “I just want to prevent conflict, keep the server peaceful.”

Remember what I said about one party being the disruptor and another being the preserver? Well, Dream’s status in the early days of the server is almost always preserver of the status quo. The only times he’s the disruptor is if disrupting that status quo serves to strengthen the status quo of him being in power. For example: Stealing Tommy’s discs is a disruption of the “Tommy’s discs are his and his alone” status quo, but strengthens the “Dream is the most powerful dude on the server” status quo, because the discs give him power over Tommy.

By fighting L’Manburg, he was trying to preserve the status quo, because having a government on the server meant he no longer had absolute power. Hell, REALLY early on, he decided to kill George and burn all his stuff because George had full diamond while everyone else was still running around in iron armor.

However, after L’Manburg’s independence, Dream’s focus shifted. Instead of preserving the status quo, he’d disrupt it in order to return to the status quo as HE wanted it, with no nations, and himself at the top.

But again, that wouldn’t look good. Making yourself the undisputed ruler of the entire server is not good for optics, so instead, Dream hides behind the excuse that he’s just trying to stop conflict, or seeking retribution for slights against his nation.

By this point, Tommy, the only person who CONSTANTLY refuses to bow to his demands, becomes his scapegoat. Tommy is loud, enjoys chaos and getting on people’s nerves, and causes, admittedly, a LOT of conflict. Lighthearted, non-serious conflict with very little actual consequences, but conflict nonetheless. It’s not hard for him to start smearing Tommy’s name, painting him as this feral child at fault for every conflict ever, mostly because a lot of people already believed something like that to be true.

The idea that Tommy is uniquely destructive or chaotic is complete bullshit. Tommy is definitely on the more chaotic side, but he’s not that much more chaotic or destructive than your average server member, he’s just really loud and annoying about it, which makes the things he DOES do stick out more. But Dream, especially during the Exile Conflict, continuously pushed the idea that Tommy is the only one creating conflict on the server, that Tommy is responsible for all conflict ever, and that without Tommy, everyone would be at peace.

And at some point… Dream started believing this himself.

His speech during the Final Disc War illustrates this perfectly. He tells Tommy that ever since he joined, there’s been nothing but war and terrorism and conflict, and that those originated from the attachments Tommy brought to the server. That, by cutting off his own attachments, exploiting everyone else’s, and getting rid of Tommy, he could restore the old status quo, before L’Manburg, before Tommy, when everything was peaceful and no conflict existed. Except, Tommy is too fun to fuck with, so instead of killing him, Dream was going to lock Tommy up in Pandora’s Vault, probably for the rest of his life, to continue breaking him.

This is a prime example of Dream falling for his own bullshit.

First of all, Tommy didn’t cause all those wars, he was actually on the receiving end of most of them. A vast majority of the wars and terrorism Tommy got caught up in were actually started by Dream, or Dream was actively helping the guy who started it.

Second, Tommy didn’t bring the concept of attachment to the server. He gets very attached to things, true, but attachment is a very basic part of the human condition. Even Dream, the guy openly shunning all attachment, isn't immune to it, in the end, he’s attached to the server as a whole, and Tommy, who he gave almost biblical importance in his narrative. Like Tommy said, if you have no attachment to things, why does anything matter at all?

Third, getting rid of Tommy and controlling the entire server with their attachments… that wouldn’t have restored the status quo, because the status quo exactly as Dream envisioned it never existed. He’s not chasing a past that was ruined by Tommy, he’s chasing an idealized fairytale version of the past where everyone was friends and frolicked around in the fields and there was never any conflict, before Tommy came along and ruined everything. Before Tommy joined, there was a SHIT ton of conflict, from minor disputes over theft, to the above-mentioned incident where Dream destroyed George’s stuff, to the lemon tree conflicts that wound up being taken to court!

Except, even this idea of Dream wanting to restore an idealized, made-up past is only partially true. What Dream is looking to return to and uphold is a world where he was the only authority and nobody questioned him. The status quo he wants to return to, no matter how much he denies it, is the one where everyone was at his mercy and he could do whatever he wanted without impunity. However, because he’s convinced himself that conflict is the issue, not disobedience, even if his plan succeeded, he’d have to keep the entire server in a chokehold to get them to follow his ideal plan.

Because conflict is inevitable. Anywhere where there’s two or more people sharing a space, you’re going to run into conflict at some point. People will have disagreements, they will fight, they will have miscommunications, they will have a bad day or accident and antagonize someone else.

Resolving these issues through conflict, whether it’s verbal, physical or legal, will result in a healthier community in the long run, because people’s pent-up frustrations will get an outlet, and people will try to hash out compromises or accommodations based on the reactions they get. It’s not always the ideal solution, but it’s better than just sitting everyone down, telling them to play nice, and smacking them over the back of the head as soon as they start complaining.

But conflict threatens the status quo. And as Dream involves himself in more and more conflict, they increasingly start threatening HIS status quo. So in order to maintain his status quo, conflict needs to be stomped out as soon as it crops up, no matter how minor it is.

So, now to paint a timeline through this lens.

Dream started off as the ultimate power on the server, able to do whatever he wanted without consequence. Tommy joined and threatened that status quo, but he was just one guy, so keeping him away and occupied wasn’t too hard. It was fun, even.

Then L’Manburg came, and posed the first substantial threat to Dream’s rule. Dream tried crushing this rebellion before it had a chance to take root, but in the end, Tommy traded his discs (the things Dream was using to control him) for L’Manburg’s independence. The status quo changed, L’Manburg was here to stay.

However, L’Manburg still posed a threat to Dream’s rule, so manipulating events to destroy it became Dream’s next priority. He supported Schlatt during the election in the hope he’d destabilize the nation, then sided with Pogtopia in secret to help overthrow the government, then helped Wilbur with the TNT to blow L’Manburg sky high, then betrayed Pogtopia for Schlatt’s side for the revival book. When Pogtopia won, Dream was egging Techno on through whispers to try to get him to go ape shit, so with Techno’s withers and Wilbur’s TNT, L’Manburg was gone, and the old status quo had been restored.

Except it hadn’t been. L’Manburg was rebuilt, with Tubbo at the helm this time, and a new status quo was put in place, with L’Manburg still there and still a threat. However, with Wilbur’s death, Tommy was left almost completely unprotected, and Dream took his chance to get Tommy thrown out of the country, hoping to get his biggest threat out of the way, as well as being able to sink his claws into the L’Manburg Cabinet.

Dream isolated Tommy in exile and tried to break him to the point where he wouldn’t put up any resistance. During this time, he also commissioned the prison, which he claimed to only be for the most dangerous members of the server, but is a pretty transparent attempt to enforce his rule by making a place where he can stick anyone who disobeys him. The server is slipping more and more out of his control, with more factions popping up and more people outright defying him, so like any dictator, he takes harsher and harsher measures to stay on top.

Tommy escapes exile, and while Dream is keeping tabs on him, he can’t directly control him anymore. So, to prevent Tommy from returning to L’Manburg and stopping his plans at disrupting the status quo, he blows up the community house, frames Tommy for it, and goes to Tubbo to demand Tommy’s disc, the only reason destroying L’Manburg was disadvantageous for him. Tommy jumps in to defend himself and takes L’Manburg’s side, but in the end, Dream takes both the discs, then destroys L’Manburg with Techno.

By this point, the status quo Dream wanted to craft is almost complete. L’Manburg is gone, there are no other major factions threatening his rule, and he’s pretty much set a precedent for what happens to dissenters. All he needs to do now is get rid of Tommy.

Except he can’t kill him. Over time, Dream has become obsessed with Tommy, to the point where he’s started seeing Tommy as the lynchpin of the server that everyone else gravitates around. Tommy is almost a living MacGuffin: he brings chaos and attachment which gives him power, but in the right hands, that power can be harnessed to create order.

(This is absolute nonsense of course, Tommy is just A Guy, his presence itself doesn’t create chaos, and controlling him doesn’t mean controlling the entire server because a lot of people just plain don’t give a shit.)

So instead of killing him, Dream tries to put him in prison. He even outright says that he wants to finish what he started in exile, this time with even tighter control and no possibility for escape.

He goes to kill Tubbo for multiple reasons: Tubbo is no longer useful to him, Tubbo can be used as leverage to keep Tommy compliant in prison (the possibility to revive someone’s best friend is a pretty valuable bargaining chip), and Tubbo would absolutely raise hell if Dream threw his best friend in jail for no reason.

If Dream had gotten his way, he’d be able to blackmail everyone on the server into compliance. Tommy, his scapegoat, would’ve been in prison, so now without a scapegoat, he could’ve probably gone one of two ways.

He could’ve created a new scapegoat to blame all new conflict on. Quackity would’ve been a good candidate, he’s VEHEMENTLY anti-Dream, and would’ve had no qualms about starting shit with him. Whether it was with El Rapids or with Las Nevadas, Quackity would’ve been the biggest anti-Dream voice in Tommy’s absence. So c!Dream would keep Quackity around, blaming him for everything that goes wrong… Until Quackity would get too uppity and either gets murdered or put in jail with Tommy, and the cycle repeats until either people rise up, or everyone who isn’t completely subservient is in prison.

Or, he could’ve cracked down EVEN HARDER on conflict. Anyone creating a new nation gets stomped into the dirt, anyone fighting over resources gets murdered, anyone squabbling over griefed property gets thrown in prison for weeks at a time, all the while their property and pets that they care about more than anything else get dangled in front of their noses. Anyone who’s ever read any more than five pages about the dynamics of dictatorships can see that this kind of repression is basically ASKING for revolution, especially since Dream has shunned all friendships at this point and his only ally is only there because Dream pays him.

(this is all speculation, we don’t know what would’ve actually happened, dont yell at me)

The status quo Dream is trying to return to never existed, and the one he creates in the process isn’t sustainable. Stopping every conflict ever is completely unsustainable and detrimental to the larger community, which Dream knows, because he uses conflict CONSTANTLY to get his way, while still presenting himself as a peacekeeper. What he’s really against is disruptions of the status quo, because the status quo allows him to do whatever he wants and control the server as much as he wants.

Conflict isn’t inherently bad. Some conflicts are harmless, some are necessary disruptions of the status quo. Conflict itself is morally neutral, and trying to prevent all conflict ever leads into some… iffy territory. Remember when Ranboo yelled at the L’Manburgians for participating in conflict the day before Doomsday?

Anyway. Please examine situations with more nuance than “conflict bad”, it’ll make for much better analysis. Trust me. /nm

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

its canon gwen and leon went looking for frogs at night as children right?? which means elyan obviously went with them too mhm? SO

gwen was a master at frog hunting. she got so many that the bucket she was carrying them in overflowed and the trio had to hunt them all down cuz the frogs got loose in leons house (this happened on more than one occassion, they never got caught once,,, if you forget the True Loves Kiss incident)

you must be wondering, op, whats the true loves kiss incident? well my dear child, the true loves kiss incident was when leons mother caught leon with two frogs, and no gwen and elyan with him.

leons mom: son, why do you have two frogs in your hands?

leon, age twelve: uh- mother! this is, uh... gwen and elyan! yes, theyve been turned into frogs by an evil sorcerer and i must turn them back!

leon’s mom who knows full well those are random ordinary frogs: ...and how do you plan on doing that?

leon: ,,true loves kiss?

leons mom: what.

leon proceeded to explain the lore behind the curse of the lady and the frog (or in this case, the servants and the squire) and true loves kiss and the (and more importantly how it was a planotic kiss, cuz romantic kisses are gross and cooties)

gwen and elyan were sitting in an alcove right next to them and heard the whole thing (and still tease him relentlessly about it)

gaius: it seems sir gwaine has been turned into a frog

elyan: heh hey leon why dont you give him the true loves kiss hmm

leon: i-

gwen: oh stop bullying the poor guy, elyan

leon: thank you guinevere-

gwen: it would have to be a platonic true loves kiss remember? sir leon wouldnt want to get cooties after all

leon: i hate you

leon is also pretty good at frog hunting (though not as good as gwen). he often times teamed up with elyan to get half as many frogs as gwen did. hes fallen off cliffs and basicaly died on numerous occassions while on the frog adventures, and gwen swears his heart stopped one too many times during those occassions (they eventually grew desensitised when leon would momentarily die then come back to life, often times playing a game of ‘who can find the coolest looking leaf’ while they wait for leon to rise from the dead once again)

leon is somewhat sad his friends dont seem to be concerned when he dies and comes back (ofc they are, its just that ignoring it out instead of thinking of you actually dying hurts bro), but atleast sometimes he gets to keep the coolest leaf they find as a “thanks for not dying“ gift, so hes content

elyan eats the frogs.

just fucking swallows those little slimy things whole. almost dies every time, but his 10 year old self swears it was worth it (and so does his older, knightly self, thank you very much). hes learned from leon to spit at god in the face and cheat death! (leon: elyan no- // gwen: ELYAN YES)

sometime after gwen became morganas maid, morgana started joining them to skip out on dinners with uther. elyan is quick to object since 1. shes a noble (“leon doesnt count cuz, yknow; hes leon” “hey!”) and 2. shes a girl (“gwen also doesnt count cuz shes *gags* gwen” “i will stab you, lil man”)

his objections are very quickly pushed aside when he sees morgana almost eat a bright red (and incredibly poisonous) frog like it was an apple to prove her superiority to him. (it worked, and he is forever in awe, and wants to actually see morgana eat said frog but gwen and leon were so terrified of accidentally killing the kings ward and getting beheaded that maybe, just maybe, he’d keep it to himself)

morganas a PRO at frog hunting. maybe it comes from her training with arthur and the knights (“but im literally a knight” “shut up leon let me have my moment”), or maybe its cuz shes just good at everything she does, but shes GOOD good.

when they get into pairs to play games (yes they do other things too, sometimes the frogs are just too boring) morgana and gwen would pair up and basically always win so they made a rule to not let those two pair up.

it was a tie at first cuz obviously they only have four people so itd be 2 against 2. the dealbreaker was arthur who chose leon and elyans side purely to dwindle morganas chances to spend time with her crush (“you spend time with her every day! whats some game pairing gonna do?” “im in love with her arthur! we need chemistry! bonding! teaming up and beating up whiny little idiots like you!” “whaT DID YOU JUST CALL ME-“)

arthur joined in once.... emphasis is once. elyan kept giving him dirty looks cuz hes the bloody prince and thus a major arse and at one point convinced him to eat a poisonous worm to prove his manliness (“elyan why would you attempt to assassinate the prince?!” “it was FUNNY OKAY-“), and wouldve died if it werent for the fact they were close enough to gaius’ chambers to be able to revive him.

he was basically banned from going with them ever again (“see this is why we dont go to gaius when leon dies!” “shut up and help me find a cool leaf, elyan”)

random detail: the buckets they’d use are faded green (morgana supplied with the dye- they used to be buckets with metal frog eyes and legs molded onto them (curtesy of our favourite blacksmith children of course).

they stopped going frog hunting as they got older and thus gained more responsibilities, but there were occassions where they’d go.

one of which being elyan running away. on that same night, leon downright ran to gwens house as soon as he heard (and was finished with his duties), frog buckets in his hands. on the outside it did look pretty weird cuz why is a knight of camelot carrying some tiny frog buckets, but leon doesnt care. gwen needed cheering up cuz his brother was a lil shit and hes supplying it. (“dont you have patrol today?” “its in the knights code to be loyal, gwen. im showing my loyalty to you by dragging you froghunting to cheer you up!” “...isnt it also in the knights code to be honest? how did you get out of patrol?” “....um.”)

another occassion was when arthur became crown prince (more specifically after the whole tristan du bois incident) and was basically dragged a crossbow-point to go frog hunting with them (‘them’ being leon and morgana, cuz apparently gwen and merlin had some business to attend to (much to both morgana and arthurs dismay).

sometimes, when the world feels like its caving in on them, leon and gwen like to go frog hunting together. they’d reminisce about the time morgana beat up a badger to defend gwens honor, or the time arthur (who sneaked out with them that one other time) accidentally kebab’d three different toads, or that time elyan wore gwens dress to prove it wasnt that hard to run in dresses (it was. he failed miserably and sprained his ankle)

or they’d just sit by a stream where leon died once, and mourn the members of their little group and what fate brought them.

[bibbawrites]

Touch Me, Love Me - Alex Mercer x Willie SMUT (18+)

Request: yes, there were too many to copy and paste so here are main highlights from ones that werent just “willex smut” -  Alex finally getting the courage to talk to Wille about wanting him to be more rough and then of course the smutty rough part. /  it’s their first time together but they have both had sex before /  Alex is the bottom and Willie the top / can they be vocal I can just imagine Willie be very loud / why is alex always the top i wanna see some whiny bottom alex 

Word Count: 1406 words

Summary: Alex finally works up the nerve to admit something to Willie and Willie is more than happy to oblige 

Warnings: gay sex, unprotected sex, light swearing, rough sex, reference to past luke x alex 

A/N: you guys really wanted this so the anxiety of not wanting to let you all down is so real rn, so i’m just gonna post this before i start to hate it any more lol enjoy hopefully 

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @molinaroberts​ @joynersgoatblog​ @courageous-she​ @littlemissaddict​ @gloomybrieyxb​ @itsyagorlemmalyn @jatpxmultifan​ @moneybagmgk​ @emeliii1​ @mybradforddream​ (the strike through means it wont let me tag you)

Alex was pacing when Willie poofed into the studio for their weekly movie night, where Willie had been catching Alex up on everything gay that had happened in cinema since his death. But by the look on Alex’s face, they wouldn’t be doing much movie watching that night. 

“Hotdog?” Willie called, drawing the blond’s attention to him. 

“I need to tell you something.” Alex blurted out. 

“Anything.” Willie assured him, perching on the arm of the couch and watching as Alex paced. 

“Luke and I dated. In the 90s. I never told you that.” Alex said after a moment. Willie nodded. 

“I figured. You guys radiate ‘we were boyfriends’ vibes.” He admitted. Alex froze, spinning to stare at Willie in disbelief. 

“Wait, you knew?” He questioned. Willie shrugged. 

“Not for certain. But I knew something had gone on at some point.” He answered, and Alex resumed his pacing.

“We didn’t date for long, less than a year.” Alex bit his lip. “But we stayed pretty... close afterwards.” 

“I’m not quite sure why this is relevant.” Willie frowned, and Alex too a deep breath. 

“I’m ready.” He said quickly. 

“For what?” Willie asked, confused. Alex bit his lip again. 

“To sleep with you.” He mumbled, and Willie’s eyes widened. 

“Oh, wow. That is not what I expected to hear.” Willie joked, his smile falling when he saw the frown on Alex’s face. 

“What else is bothering you?” He asked softly. 

“Wheneverlukeandiusedtohavesexitwasreallyroughandikindareallywantyoutofuckmeroughly.” Alex mumbled, so quick that Willie could barely understand a word that he had said. 

“Alex breathe.” He instructed, and Alex took a deep breath. “Now what on earth did you just say? Cause it sounded like another language.” 

Alex took another deep breath. 

“Whenever Luke and I used to have sex it was really rough and I kinda really want you to fuck me roughly.” Alex repeated, and Willie’s jaw dropped. Alex was full of surprises today. 

“You want me to fuck you? Roughly?” He repeated. Alex nodded. 

“Well yeah... You’ve met Luke, I bet you can imagine how he was in the bedroom.” He rambled. 

“Alex...” Willie trailed off and Alex froze, clearly sensing Willie’s hesitation. 

“Oh god, did I go too far? We can just forget this never happened.” He said quickly, and Willie shook his head. 

“No, Alex. You’re fine. It’s just... I’ve never topped anyone before.” He admitted. 

“It’s not that hard, really.” Alex replied, turning bright red at his admission. 

“If you say so Hotdog.” The nickname seemed to calm Alex, the blond finally settling down on the couch next to Willie. 

“Are we gonna do it here or do you have some secret hidden place for us to go?” He asked. 

Willie grinned. 

“I know just the place.” 

- 

“Is this where you live?” Alex questioned, looking around the hotel room that Willie had brought them to. It looked like any other hotel room that Alex had ever seen, except for one thing. Where the door would normally be was a blank wall, closing the room off to anyone who couldn’t poof through walls. Willie shrugged slightly.  

“Sometimes. Mostly I live at the club with the other dancers. But whenever I need to be alone I come here.” He said. Alex nodded. 

“How did you find it?” He asked and Willie grinned. 

“Honestly? I was skating down the hallway outside and my board caught on the carpet and I fell through the wall. Then I realised I was in a hotel room that for some reason had no door, so I just started coming here all the time. You’re the only person I’ve ever told about this place, let alone brought them here.” He admitted, sitting down on the edge of the large bed. 

“I’m honoured.” Alex sat down next to him and they both fell quiet. 

“Hey Lex?” Willie whispered, breaking the silence. Alex smiled softly at the nickname. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m kinda nervous, about topping you.” Willie looked down at his fingers, his heart skipping a beat when Alex took his hands. 

“You’ll be okay. Plus you know we can always stop if we feel uncomfortable.” Alex assured him. 

“Okay.” Willie nodded. Alex grinned. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So should I-” Alex cut him off by crashing their lips together and Willie gasped in shock, letting Alex take the lead for a few moments before he took control, pushing the taller boy backwards into the bed and climbed on top of him.

Willie’s fingers fiddled with the bottom of Alex's shirt, before pulling it off completely and kissing down his chest. He moved away to pull his own shirt off, kicking his shoes into the corner. 

Alex kicked his own shoes off, watching Willie intently.

"Take your pants off." Willie instructed.

"You’re sure no one will catch us here?” Alex questioned, but obeyed nonetheless. Willie nodded, already removing his own clothes to reveal his naked body, Alex blushing at the sight.

"I promise, I don’t even think anyone knows about it.” He reassured Alex, placing a gentle kiss on the blond’s lips. “We’re safe here.”

“Okay.” Alex stuttered as Willie’s hand made its way down Alex’s body and rested on the bulge in his underwear. Willie lent in, connecting their lips again as he massaged the bulge, leaving Alex a moaning mess.

"Can I take these off?" He asked, pulling away from Alex's lips. Alex nodded. Willie pulled Alex's underwear off quickly, throwing them aside.

"God you're so beautiful." Willie muttered, scanning Alex’s body, his mouth practically watering at the size of Alex’s cock. "Get up onto the bed."

Alex obliged. Willie sat in front of him.

"How do you want to do this?" He asked.

"It’s up to you. Tell me how you want me." Alex replied. Willie bit his lip, thinking.

"Okay. Lie down on your back and spread your legs." He said, and Alex did it. Willie ran a hand down Alex's thigh and Alex shuddered. Willie laughed slightly.

"I'm gonna put a finger in, okay? Loosen you up so it doesn't hurt as much." Alex nodded. Willie put a lube covered finger in, his other hand on Alex's hip, drawing gentle patterns. After a minute he added a second finger, and after giving Alex a second to adjust he began scissoring his fingers to stretch Alex out. The drummer moaned.

"You like that?" Willie asked, adding a third finger, and Alex could tell he was smiling.

"Feels so good." Alex replied. Willie removed his fingers, grabbing the lube once again to pour some on his dick.  

"If you think that was good wait ‘til we get to the next part." Willie jerked himself a few times, making sure he had enough lube, before moving closer to Alex, lifting the blond's hips slightly to make it easier, and then slowly entering the blond, both boys gasping at the pleasure.

"Tell me when to move." The skater instructed.

"Now." Alex whispered. Willie thrusted roughly, and Alex flinched slightly at the discomfort.

"Are you okay?" Willie asked, freezing slightly. He knew Alex had asked him to be rough, but he didn’t want to hurt the other boy.

"Yes." Alex replied, as the pain turned to pleasure. "It feels good now."

"Good." Willie said, thrusting again and beginning to set a fast pace, slamming into Alex. Alex moaned and reached down to grab his dick. Willie shoved his hand away, wrapping his own hand around Alex's cock, jerking it in time with his thrusts.

"Please Wills." Alex whined, his breath coming out in pants.

"Please what?" Willie questioned. Alex moaned loudly, his head falling back.  

"Harder." Willie complied and the room was filled with the sound of slapping skin, of loud moans and swearing.

“I’m so close.” Willie gasped, slamming into Alex with as much force as he could, and Alex screamed out in pleasure.

“Cum in me, please.” Alex begged. “Please Willie, please.”

Willie moaned loudly as he reached his climax, filling the younger boy with his cum, and Alex followed close behind, his own cum coating their chests.

After riding out their highs Willie pulled out, collapsing onto the bed next to Alex.

"How was that?" He whispered. Alex smiled shyly, snuggling into Willie.

"It was perfect. Thank you." Willie kissed him softly.

“Next time, you’re topping. I can’t wait to have your massive cock inside of me.” The skater grinned and Alex turned bright red, biting down on his lip.

“Well…” He whispered. “There’s always round two.”

[lostinwoods]

Problem with Sunrise and the Yashahime production.

In order to write a story, you have to be in love with your characters. A story is like your baby, the baby you have made. If you are not in love with it, not proud of it, no one will ever be.

Your characters are a representation of your personal inhibitions and likings, your skill, your talent and the sweat you shed trying to nurture them and mould them the way you would love them to be.

Your story, your character might deal with a lot, showcase many probable facts, or might just be there for its own sake. But, they will always be loved by you, revered by you.

Your character will a personality of their own.

But that is the problem with Yashahime production. They treat their characters as just that, character. They do not blow a soul into their character. That is why their characters are withour life, as dry as husk.

Nothing can improve a storyline if your characters are not lively. No story will ever progress without a character.

The characters they have created for Yashahime are pathetic, they are meant to imitate their parents. But they do not even reach their toes. The characters run around like their heads been chopped off, doing generic things that do nothing to shape their characters.

Towa is bizzare! At first, she was shown as a fiercely protective sister to Mei. But then Setsuna and Moroha show up and she suddenly leaves behind everything in that era and follows her sister with a promise 'Imma gonna return!', but then making no efforts to ever go back, potentially even forgetting about the parents that raised her for so long. What is that saying about her character? That she is an ungrateful bitch, who will never show any love to the people who cared for her.

Heck, at least Kagome found a way to return back home time to time. Maybe Towa does not find a way, but she should try, just like how she tries to save Sestuna from whatever butterfly.

Towa surmised to be the main character is worse than Inuyasha being an idiot and swinging his eword. Even as idiotic people used to make Inuyasha, that boy was so intelligent that Towa looks like a spec of dust infront of Inu's fighting talent. Towa is Inu in a fanfiction where he swings his sword left and right without inhibition done right! Towa is the absolute description of someone who swing their sword left and right. I am not even joking. She legit pokes her sword here and there and then her eye does the glowy thing and she whips out a light saber. What the fuck will she do when the pearl will disappear from her eye I wonder. Sesshomaru probably had done one thing right, he had assessed the brains of his children correctly and placed those pearls. They truly would have never made it alive without those.

Setsuna was shown as a demon slayer who sometimes badmouthed her own trade of demon slaying. Like seriously? Then she changed into a stagnant character who does nothing other than stand beside the girls and give them a hand time to time. Often been shown as a character who does not care about Moroha much but is saved time to time by the girl. Sometimes Sestuna is even shown to have great feelings for her twin and her cousin, but the rest of the time, she is as bland as a sheet of paper. Now...that is dissociative identity done right!

The twins in all have been seen as characters who are most of the time dubiously flipping from one character trait to another. They were meant to each reperesent the white and dark traits of Sesshomaru maybe potentially both settling in the grayer zone. But, unfortunately turned out to be sisters with a serious case of split personality disorder.

Who are the parents? Where are the parents? Where is Sesshomaru in there? Where is Rin in there? You wanna make Rin a pathetic bimbo who dolled herself to simp Sesshomaru? Think again! Rin is a massive mean lady when she wants to be. She has the mouth of a sassy female when she was 10. She is independent, courageous, fiercely protective and loyal. Where are those things in the twins? Do not insult Rin by making her their mother, seriously devs.

Moroha is the only character who remains at a constant pace of a character which probably is a mixture of Inuyasha and Kagome. But then subsequently has not inherited the love for their parents that both Inuyasha and Kagome had exhibited. Why make her so unfeeling and hateful, why would she not care about parents like Inuyasha and Kagome? Moroha is shown to not only not care about her parents but actively ignore any subject related to them. Maybe the girl could have been just bitter about her parents abondoning her but the girl clearly has all her memories about what shit went down during her birth. She knows her parents were protecting her from danger. Then why not let someone speak of them? What I can infer is probably a misunderstanding.

Well, maybe Moroha is the only character who could pull it through with Yashahime. By the way things are going, it seems she is the only one gaining personality and would probably become the best character after her misunderstanding with InuKag clears up.

The villains that are created are a different issue altogether. They are stumbling fools who have the fighting talent of pricking their toes on a nail and dying.

The main villain, or what we know to be the main villain has no agenda, no motive and no will whatsoever. I mean they show the villain to be so vague that he himself is not sure of what he is doing. Like...bruh, seriously?

Riku was maybe designed to be a clever anti hero but turned out to be a diabolical psycopath who makes no sense of what the fuck he wants to do. How he wants to sort things out. Often introduced as a character being present in during all major events. But has no major role in the series. For a dude as diabolical as Riku, you would figure him to be cunning and wise but nah...he ain't that. He is rather a pedophilic bastard who is shown sniffing Towa out far more than he does anything of use. And at the end just probably wants to gobble the pearls down like coloured M&M's.

Zero was introduced as a rather villanious character but her backstory turned her into a whiny bitch who could not take Inu Taisho's rejection/death properly and played table tennis with the powerful Shikon. Then she is promoted into a nagging sister who is there to beat her brother, Kirinmaru out of his home and get rid of his serious shut in personality. Okay...and then what? Nothing, that's what!

Hisui? Who's that? A MirSan replica? Bruh...please! Kilala got better personality than that Taijiya misfortune! How and why the fuck is that lame fuck even trusted with the Hiraikotsu? Guess he is about to break his fingers carrying that massive weapon one of these days.

The OG cast, let's just say that an immature ten years old would have done better things with them compared to these asinine production teams.

Nothing will fix Yashahime if the characters are not fixed. They seriously give me anxiety over how useless they can be.

Moroha should have been made the main character, Yashahime would have been 40 times more enjoyable!

[schrijverr]

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 7 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: mentions of grief

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 7: Betony Means ‘Surprise’

Alex and Thomas had gone on two more dates together when April rolled around. Nothing had been made official yet, but the kisses had become more heated, their text messages more familiar, with Thomas staying over after movie nights.

However, Alex now had a problem.

He stopped Angelica as she exited her office: “Hey, Angelica, Angie, one of my favorite sisters, how are you?”

“What do you need, Alex?” he wasn’t all that subtle and she saw right through him.

“I am having a minor crisis and I need you to tell me what to do, but I can’t have Thomas overhear. Can we please go into your office?” he pleaded.

“Having love life issues?” her eyes lit up and he felt a small betrayal at her glee about his crisis, but he was also just happy she was listening.

“Yes,” he sighed, “Can we go now?”

“Of course,” she opened the door and ushered him in, asking, “So, what’s up? Tell me everything.”

“Did you know Thomas’s birthday is the 13th??” he whisper yelled at her.

“Yeah, I’ve been friends with him for a while, it’s always been that date,” Angelica shouldn’t sound so amused in Alex’s not so humble opinion.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know what you’re so upset about, Thomas has been the birthday boy before, ‘Lexi.” she teased him.

“Yeah, but when he was the birthday boy before,we weren’t in this weird limbo where we’re not dating dating, but it’s also not friendship and when it was my birthday we were just beginning to be friends, so I have no clue what he’ll expect from me and I’m really freaking out and you need to help me. Now. Preferably.”

Apparently the panic in his eyes was enough for Angelica to drop the teasing and say: “Hey, no reason to stress, take a breath for a moment,” Alex did so, “Good. So, what is the main stressor right now?”

“I can fulfill expectations except I do not know what the expectations are and I will mess up,” Alex told her.

“That’s valid, but you’re also a dumbass,” this is why he loved Angelica, just because she knew him well enough to call him out on his bullshit, even if the bullshit was coming from his own brain.

“Just tell me what to do,” Alex said tiredly, he had been stressing so much about this that he just wanted to give up at this point.

“Well, me and Thomas are friends, you know this, but his birthday- let’s say he’s not big on it and I never really mentioned it to him, so I don’t really know.”

“Then what-”

She cut him off: “But, he and James are much closer. You can ask him.”

“I don’t want to ask him.”

“Why not, don’t be whiny about this.”

“Because it’s embarrassing,” Alex most definitely whined.

“Then you just have to suck it up or keep stressing,” Angelica shrugged.

Alex bit his lip as he thought about it. He and James had worked together on a project, before James moved to a different branch. It was around the time John had died and Alex wasn’t a pleasant person back then, so when Thomas came back they had definitively grown apart. Alex hadn’t talked to James in forever.

But he also wanted to be a good maybe-boyfriend to Thomas and he didn’t want to disappoint or hurt the other man when it had been going so well so far.

He sighed: “Do you know where his office is?”

Angelica smiled and told him, before giving him a cookie from the jar she had on her desk, because she was ‘a grown woman who could do whatever she wanted, you judgmental asshole.’

“I’ll be off then.”

“Good luck, ‘Lexi,” Angelica waved cheerily as she went the other way to the printer room, while Alex felt as if he approached the doors of the Hell even though it was just the lift.

Getting off two floors below, he walked over to James’ office and knocked, waiting for a beat until the other called out: “Come in.”

He slowly opened the door and in the most awkward way possible he greeted: “Heeey.”

“Alexander, what a pleasant surprise,” he wasn’t sure how much James meant that, but he was hoping for sincerity.

“Yeah, good to see you too, it’s been a while, sorry. I, uhm, I’m not that good with keeping up with people,” he said, before adding, “Especially back then, sorry for that.”

James looked him over carefully, then said: “I understand. You must forgive him, but Thomas gave me some context.”

“Ah, yeah, well, can’t say I didn’t do the same,” Alex replied, “Though, I should have reached out again after I processed a bit more, I kinda took it out on you and that wasn’t okay.”

“No, it wasn’t,” James acknowledged, then the subject was apparently done in his eyes, since he swiftly moved on: “I suppose you have a reason for coming here now.”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

James gestured for him to enter so he closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the chairs across from James as he began: “Now, I know this is not your thing, but I need your advise about something.”

“Is it about Thomas?” James stopped him before he could continue.

“It’s about Thomas,” Alex confirmed.

“What stupid thing are you planning now?” James asked with a sigh.

“Nothing,” James didn’t believe him, so he went on, “Well, nothing yet. It’s- His birthday is coming up – I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you know that – but it’s coming up and I don’t know if I should do something or if he wants to be left alone, just- what are the expectations? Do you know what Thomas expects? From me.”

James paused at the word vomit and mulled over his words, before asking: “You really care about this, don’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s- it’s been really good and I don’t wanna mess it up,” Alex said, he decided to put all cards on the table in the hope that James would see he was honest and help him not fuck up the best thing that had happened to him since Philip was born.

“Hmm,” James hummed thoughtfully for a moment, then slowly and carefully he began, “Thomas does not like his birthday, he’s not a party man. He usually lets the date go by uncelebrated, so that’s something to keep in mind.”

“Okay, okay,” Alex nodded, “Is there anything I could do? Like, would he appreciate me showing up with take out and a movie or something? Like as a surprise? Is that something he would like?”

“I’m sorry, aren’tyou the one texting him every single day?” James said, “I have to listen to Thomas talk about you so much, I almost feel like I know you too well for the amount of interactions we’ve had and you really think me – the aroace – is the one to go for for dating advice?”

“Why is this so hard,” Alex groaned, “Ugh.”

James raised a brow at this.

“You weren’t the first I asked,” Alex told him, “I asked Angelica and she said to go to you. SoI hoped that you, as Thomas’s best friend, would be willing to help little old me.”

After a beat James said: “I think he would appreciate it, but bring a gift as well.”

“Thanks, you’re literally the best. What-”

“No, I’m not giving you gift ideas,” James cut him off, “Thomas is hard enough to buy something for and I came up with one idea and you’re not getting it.”

Alex chuckled at that, deciding that James had done enough for him to stop harassing the man about his own relationship issues. He smiled: “Alright, I’ll go now. Again, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” James called out to him as he left and Alex did a small lazy salute to him as he left the office feeling a bit better about how to go about it.

As he walked back to his office he mentally made a plan of action, nodding satisfied to himself as he did. It felt good to know what the game was, so that he could find a way to play. Knowing his surroundings had always given him comfort.

It was Wednesday and Laf was picking Philip up from school, claiming the babysitters spot after saying that he hadn’t seen his favorite neveuin forever. This worked in Alex’s favor.

He was let up into the apartment and was immediately greeted by Philip, jumping into his arms as he rambled about cars and a monster and French.

Alex listened and waited until he was done talking, before saying: “Wow, that sounds very cool, buddy. Seems you had a productive afternoon. How was school? Learn anything fun?”

“We talked about shapes!” Philip told him, before explaining why a square was a rectangle, but a rectangle not always a square, “Isn’t that super mega cool?”

“That is super mega cool, buddy,” Alex agreed.

Before he could say more, Laf interrupted: “Wow, just ignored in my own home, I feel personally attacked, mon ami.”

“Ah, sorry,” Alex was the only one of his friends with kids, of course Eliza and Maria had the orphanage, but it wasn’t the same. It was supposed to be him and John together, but now he was mostly on his own and he still felt awkward about it sometimes, like he was too young and had made a mistake, even though Philip was the best thing in his life and completely planned.

“Don’t worry about it, it was a joke,” Laf smiled, easing his anxiety slightly.

Alex smiled back, then asked Philip: “Have you been nice for your Uncle Laf? Didn’t tear the place down, I hope.”

Philip shook his head: “I was very good.”

“We’ll see,” Alex winked, before raised a questioning brow at Laf.

“Mon petit neveustill takes after his best Uncle and is an absolute star,” he said, “You did well with him Alex.”

“Good to hear,” Alex replied, ruffling Philip’s hair, “Maybe you’ll get an extra story tonight, buddy. You can play a little more now, I have to ask your Uncle Laf something for a moment, okay?”

At that Philip cheered as he raced off to his cars, dropping to his knees and getting immersed in his little world once more.

Alex followed him with fond eyes, before Lafayette said: “So, have to ask Uncle Laf something, I am curious.”

“Ah, yeah, uhm, don’t tease me, okay?”

“You’re onlymaking me more curious, Alexandre. What is it?”

“I don’t know what to get Thomas for his birthday.”

Lafayette gasped and jumped a bit, grin splitting his face: “I will help you find the perfect gift!”

“Really?” Alex was relieved, “Thank you so much.”

“It’s not problem, I need this sort of entertainment in my life,” Laf clapped him on the back, “So, what is the vibe?”

“Well, I’m planning to come over to his house with take out and just watching a movie together,” Alex explained, “James said he’s not big on huge birthday parties and we’re not dating dating so I don’t want to make it too big of a deal, but still a deal, if that makes sense?”

“Good insight, I once threw him a huge birthday party and he did not appreciate it.”

“Oof.”

“Yeah, it happens, mon ami, not everyone can see my great party planning skills for what they’re worth,” Laf lamented, “But a gift, he likes books, poetry, music – especially classics – and, uhm, fashion, but I don’t think you’re the man for that.”

“I would protest that, because he literally wears magenta suits, but he also said that I dress – and I quote – ‘like the pits of fashion,’ so he would agree more with you in that,” Alex shrugged.

“Good,” Lafayette nodded, “Now, music, I don’t know how much you overlap in music, so maybe stay out of that one unless you’re sure, so that leaves books and poetry, which you have a lot in common in, so maybe do that.”

Alex nodded, but couldn't say anything before Laf gasped: “Buy him love poetry.”

“That’s kinda corny don’t you think?”Alex asked.

Lafayette thought of that one time Thomas had told him Martha had written him a love song and he had cried, before he shook his head: “No, Thomas loves corny, it’s a good gift.”

“Okay, thank you, you are my knight in shining armor,” Alex told him.

“Live to please,” Lafayette winked, “Hey, do you and Pip want to stay over for dinner, I feel like we hardly get to talk with all the adult responsibilities.”

“Yeah sure, that sounds great actually, though it’s not my fault you’re in France most of the time,” Alex ribbed him slightly.

“Oh please, you would too if you had a real job.”

“How dare you,” they fell into familiar squabbling grown out of many years as young drunk college students making bad choices together.

As they wined and dined Alex mulled over Lafayette’s suggestion. It was a good suggestion, but Alex worried it might be too much, but then again he wasn’t doing much organization-wise, so maybe it would just have to be the gift that was a bit more.

He did want to show up as a surprise, but he didn’t want to be too unexpected or make it seem like he had forgotten or something.

While the night progressed, the idea became more solid in his head and by the time he was tucking Philip in, he knew what he was going to do.

By the time the 13thof April arrived Alex was kinda nervous as he came into the office. He put his stuff down in his office and took a deep breath before going to the break room to make two cups of coffee and wait at Thomas’s office.

He had timed it pretty well and not a minute later Thomas came sauntering over to his office, stopping when he saw Alex. Alex attempted a wave, but was stopped by his full hands, so he just said: “Uhm, happy birthday.”

Thomas blinked for a moment, the smiled and shook his head: “You didn’t have to do that, but thanks.”

“I know you don’t like to celebrate, so I didn’t want to do anything big, but I did want to do something, it would feel weird to just let it go by, so uhm, here,” he held out the flowers he had with him and the coffee, “I checked your office vase yesterday and there was nothing, so I hope that’s still the case.”

“It is. Thank you, they’re beautiful,” Thomas took the purple flowers, “What are they?”

“They’re betonies,” Alex replied, knowing why Thomas was asking. They had been doing this thing with flowers for a while now, both trying to find flowers that suited the occasion or the other person, which was why he had picked them.

“I love them,” Thomas smiled, opening his office and asking, “Wanna drink this coffee in my office before we start?”

“Hell yeah.”

They drank they coffee talking about nothing and everything as they started up slowly. Before Alex and Thomas starting drinking coffee in the morning, Alex would rush through drinking his coffee to get to his office as fast as he could, but he was starting to see the joys of taking his time in the morning.

Thomas loved how he got Alex to calm down a bit. He loved the other’s ambitions and quick wit along with his concentrated face when he was typing a mile a minute, but this more mellow version of Alex was also nice to witness from time to time.

After a whileAlex finally stood up, stretching as he said: “Alright, I should probably go to work now. See you at lunch? I’m buying.”

“I’m not saying no to free food. See ya, then,” Thomas waved as Alex left.

Whenthe door hadclosed, he got out his phone and quickly Googled the meaning of betonies. Frowning when he saw that they meant surprise, was it because the flowers were a surprise or because Alex had something else up his sleeve?

He started on his work as he mulled over the possibilities.

An hour into the day, Angelica knocked on his door and came in with a smile: “Hi, birthday boy, you feeling old yet?”

“And hello to you too, Angie,” Thomas deadpanned.

“Ahw, come on, Tommy, it’s all in good faith,” she smirked, entering his office and handing him a card.

With slight apprehension he took the card and sighed when he saw that it was a black and white picture of an old lady on a skateboard that read ‘OLD BUT STILL COOL!’ He looked at it then up to Angelica tiredly: “Why are you like this?”

“You love it,” she grinned, then added: “Old man.”

“Just because you’re two years younger, doesn’t mean you’re funny,” he told her, “I’m not even forty yet, so fuck off.”

“Well, you live in your world, I’ll live in mine,” she turned and commented, “Nice flowers.”

Thomas blushed and mumbled: “Yeah, Alex got them for me.”

“Ahw, how sweet,” Angelica cooed, “You two are so cute. If I wasn’t so glad being single, I would be jealous.”

“Shut up.”

“Are you blushing?”

“I don’t like how much it sounds like you’re enjoying my pain, Angelica,” he said, “And since it’s my birthday, you’re not allowed to.”

Angelica laughed: “What are you? Five?”

“No, according to this card I’m fifty, thanks for that.”

“You’re not actually hurt, are you, Tommy?”

“Give me a cookie from your cookie stash and I won’t be.”

“Come on, you big loser, it’s coffee break time anyway.”

He happily got up and followed her out of his office to hers, going back to hang out in the break room for a moment afterwards and catch up on life.

Lunch came around and Alex got a small cupcake, which he gave to him with a shrug: “I wanted to put a candle in there, but fire safety AKA Washington, was lame andwouldn’t allow it.”

“Life happens,” Thomas grinned, picturing Alex whining while Washington refused to let him burn the office down by accident.

“Yeah, it does,” Alex grinned back, “Okay day so far?”

Thomas nodded: “Yeah, got a cookie from Angie and been enjoying my flowers.”

“Glad you like them,” and then Alex gave him a mysterious smirk that Thomas couldn't decipher and he wanted to ask what it was about, but he also wanted to figure it out on his own. So, instead he asked about Alex’s work and let the conversation flow easily between them.

When Alex left to go back to work, he planted a peck on Thomas’s forehead then his nose when he saw the blush, commenting that it was still cute, which didn’t help the blush at all.

With Alex’s departure, he was thinking about the flowers again and he had no clue what to think.

He was still intently staring at them when James entered his office. His friend had already called him in the morning, but had come to congratulate him in person as well: “Thomas, congrats on being thirty-eight, almost not a youngling anymore.”

“Ugh, are you and Angelica teaming up?” Thomas asked, “I swear the only whose been nice about the whole age thing is Alex and that’s just cause he wants to be nice on my birthday, he’ll join you tomorrow, probably.”

“You’re being dramatic, Thomas,” James told him, no pity there, “Ah, flowers, how lovely.”

Aha, he could ask James what he thought they meant. He smiled: “They are. They’re betonies, they mean surprise, what do you think he meant with that?”

“I think he thought: ‘Oh purple, Thomas likes purple, these flowers are pretty, I’ll get them,’” James informed him.

“That’s not what he sounds like,” Thomas protested.

“It’s kind of what he sounds like, with the run on sentences. I swear that man doesn’t know a dot when it hits him in the face,” James complained.

“I always forget you two worked together,” Thomas mused, “Anyway, not the point. The point is that the flowers mean surprise and I need to know why.”

“And I already told you.”

“You’re missing the point, Jemmy. Me and Alex do this thing with the flowers,” Thomas explained, “He asked me out with cornflowers, it was fucking cute, alright. The flowers mean surprise for a reason and I need to figure it out. It’s probably a clue.”

“I think you’re blowing this out of proportion,” James said, twisting his handkerchief around his fingers.

“Oh- you- the- I think you’re lying.”

“What?”

“You’re twisting the handkerchief, you do that when you’re lying,” Thomas accused, “You know something.”

“No, I don’t and I don’t twist my handkerchief when I’m lying,” James protested.

“Yes, you do. You did it when Laf threw me the surprise party- oh God, he’s not throwing me a surprise party is he?”

“He’s not, Thomas, calm down.”

“So you do know something?”

“I can’t believe I’m still friends with you,” James avoided the question.

“I can,” Thomas replied, “Now, tell me what you know.”

James sighed and rubbed his forehead: “I’m not telling you anything.”

“Why not, Jemmy, please,” Thomas whined.

“Because the flowers mean surprise,” James told him bluntly, “I thought you were big on their meaning.”

“You’re so mean to me, Jemmy.”

“And you mostly deserve it,” James said, “Now, have your sisters called you, yet? Or your mom?”

“Yeah, I missed Ma and Mary, I think Jane just left a message though. Why can’t they send a text like Randy, that’s at leasteasy.”

“Oh, jikes.”

“I know, I’m gonna hear about that,” Thomas sighed, “But I don’t want to talk to them yet, because this thing with Alex is just really starting and I don’t want them nosing around – and I know they will – and I just don’t want them to ruin it. You know I can’t keep my mouth shut around them.”

“You’re going to have to tell them eventually,” James said kindly.

“I know, I know, but I want to at least know how to describe Alex when I finally do,” Thomas sighed.

James gave him a look: “You can talk to Alex about it.”

Thomas hid under his arms: “Yeah, but that’s scary, cause what if he doesn’t like me that much? What if he thinks it’s too fast?”

“Thomas, you’ve been on four, in your words, amazing dates, you’ve seen him cry in front of his late husband’s grave, you cried in his arms, I don’t think it’s too fast,” James said, “Now, I know, I might not have the best grip on this, but from what I heard from him, you’re good.”

“You talked to him? What did he say?”

“He said it was really good,” James decided it couldn't hurt to boost Thomas’s confidence, “Look, you don’t have to talk about it today or anything, but you’re going to at some point. I think you both want this, so go for it.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” Thomas whined.

“Then you hate me most of the time,” James smirked.

“I hate you.”

“You just said.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’d rather you don’t.”

“James, you assh- you know what? Never mind, that one never gets old.”

“Thank you, I try.”

Thomas stretched, popping his back, before making a face: “God, soon these old man comments are going to be true.”

James just laughed at his pain, then they chatted a bit more, before James bid him farewell and told him to enjoy the rest of his birthday. Thomas rolled his eyes at that, he was just going to sit on his couch with wine or something, James knew that.

He finished up his work early and said goodbye to Alex, who was still typing away on his laptop. He waved back absentmindedly, hair in a messy bun as he mouthed some words. The picture made Thomas pause, smiling softly.

At home, he kicked off his shoes and got dressed in black sweat pants and a tank top. He stopped at the picture of Martha on his bedside table. It was his favorite picture of her, she was wearing a yellow sundress and sitting in a field under a tree, holding her guitar and smiling.

He smiled at it and whispered: “I wish you could see me now, sweetheart. You’d be so proud of me.”

The picture stayed silent, but it’s presence was still comforting, so Thomas picked it up and looked at it for a moment.

Then he went downstairs and put on some classical music with a book, determined to enjoy his birthday surrounded by soft pillows.

His stomach started rumbling about an hour later, but before he could do something about it, his phone started ringing. Glancing at the contact, he saw it was Lafayette. He knew he couldn't just ignore the man, because he would show up at his door, so he picked up: “Hi, Laf.”

“Mon ami, bonjour, bonjour,” Lafayette greeted him excitedly, “Bon anniversaire! How are you on this fine day?”

“Yeah, yeah, you know, the usual,” Thomas said, “Though, Alex got me flowers, that was nice.”

“Ahw, you two are so attachante, I love you two,” Laf cooed.

Thomas just rolled his eyes at the Frenchman’s antics, he had long since gotten used to the unlimited amount of energy he seemed to have. He asked: “So, how has your day been?”

“Ugh, you would not believe, Tommy, what I’ve been through, okay,” Lafayette began, “Sometimes a day is ruined as it starts – it was a day like that. Woke up late, big line at Starbucks, didn’t have oat milk for my latte, was late at work, security were having issues and that was before I had even gotten to my office.”

“Sounds awful, Laf,” Thomas was happy to let Lafayette ramble, he liked listening to others with little expectations of his own involvement in the conversation.

“I know, right?” Lafayette agreed, “So, I get to my desk and I rememberedI left it a mess yesterday. Granted, this was my own fault, but it was another thing that just bogs you down, you know. Anyway, I get to organizing my desk then Janice came up to me.”

“Racist, homophobic Senator Janice?”

“Yes, her, the fucking bitch. And I was feeling myself, I was having my highlighter moment, got these cute dangling earrings in.”

“The ones Eliza got for you? With the little crystals?”

“Yeah, I love them – I should thank her for those again, hmm – anyway, Janice starts going off about them, like she’s not dressed like a Walmart clearance rack. Which, nothing wrong with that, but don’t come after my moment.”

Thomas just hummed, confirming he was still listening.

“I wasn’t having this, but before I could level her to the ground, Nyke saves me from slapping a Senator. I appreciate them so much, the only valid person in the entire White House, I will swear by that.”

That got a huff out of Thomas, who asked: “Not the President, but your intern?”

“Obviously, at least Nyke knows how to dress,” Laf replied, “Ugh, they were wearing a corset by the way and I am really tempted, but I’m not sure. What do you think?”

“I mean, if you want to. Why not?” Thomas shrugged, “It seems like something you could pull off. I don’t know, yolo or something?”

“Did you just say yolo?” there was a weird sort of glee and upset in Lafayette’s voice.

“Yeah, not cool anymore?”

“Not- not cool? Honey that hasn’t been cool in years.”

“It started ironic, okay.”

Lafayette cackled: “God, I know you were becoming old today, but hot damn.”

“Not you too,” Thomas whined.

“Not the first?” Lafayette asked, glee not at all hidden.

“No, James and Angie are mean to me and at this point I’m just waiting for Alex to join, but I think he’s waiting until my actual birthday is over in an attempt to be nice,” Thomas lamented.

“You know him so well.”

“I hate you.”

“Live to please.”

“Can we go back to Janice and Nyke?” Thomas pleaded.

“Of course!” Laf’s cheery voice came through the phone, “So, Nyke saved me from beating a bitch up, we drank coffee together – love having interns, it’s great – boring meetings blah, blah, blah.”

“I love that you describe your important job in the government as ‘blah, blah, blah.’”

“We all have our talents, mon ami.”

“Yeah, mine are getting insulted for being old. I’m not even forty yet, okay, I’m not that old. They’re only a few years younger than me, the assholes. I mean, Alex is thirty-three, he has no rights.”

“He hasn’t even started to, Thomas.”

“But he’s going to,” Thomas moped.

“I mean, true.”

“I hate it here.”

“It can’t have been that bad, tell me something good from today,”

“Well, Alex got me flowers, betonies, actually,” Thomas told him, “They mean surprise, know anything about that?”

“Non,” Laf was lying, Thomas knew it, but didn’t push, “Anything else fun?”

“Angie and James coming by was nice and lunch with Alex was nice too. He got me a muffin and complained Washington wouldn’t let him light a candle within the office,” Thomas smiled, “He’s a little menace.”

“Yes, he is, gave that to another scélérat.”

“Is the scoundrel in question perhaps Philip?”

“Indeed, I hear you’ve been upgraded to Uncle Thomas?” there was a bit of teasing in Lafayette’s voice, but also pride.

Thomas blushed and said: “Yeah, who said? It has to be someone from the movie night you weren’t at. Was it Alex? Or Angie?”

“Oh, non, it was mon petitPip, himself, grand tales of his bestest Uncle Thomas,” Laf most definitely teasing with that, but Thomas just blushed heavier, happy that the kid liked him so much, which had been an insecurity when he and Alex had started.

“When did you speak with him? He doing alright?”

“I would say that you get to see him more often than me, but I have him here,” Lafayette informed him, “We’re watching Beauty and the Beasttonight.”

“What? Where’s Alex?”

“Rude, I can spend time with mon neveu, Thomas,” Lafayette said.

“Lafayette, it’s almost 18:30, if Alex’s still at work I have to go drag him away from his laptop,” Thomas explained, “He should be picking Philip up by now, by a while ago, actually.”

“Non, of course not, me and Pip are having a sleepover,” Laf turned the phone away and Thomas could hear him yell: “Pip, you’re having a sleepover with your favorite Uncle, aren’t you?”

There was a faint, inaudible reply, before Laf returned to the phone and grumbled: “Thomas, you need to upgrade yourself to dad soon, I’m loosing my status.”

“What?” Thomas chocked.

“Nothing,” Laf breezed on, “My point is Alex knows where Pip is and it’s all good.”

“Then he could still be at the office, I should call him,” Thomas worried.

“No, of course not, he’s- uhm,” Laf was searching for words when the doorbell rang.

Thomas looked up and frowned, he wasn’t expecting company and he hadn’t ordered anything yet either. He told Laf: “Sorry, one sec. There’s someone at the door.”

“Oh, that’s my cue to go,” Laf sounded relieved at that. His nonsense babbling supply had run dry by now.

“What?”

“You’ll see,” and with that mysterious message, Lafayette hung up.

Thomas shook his head, before going to the front door, thinking of who the fuck it could be. When he saw the person through the window, it all clicked and he wanted to facepalm for it being so obvious.

He opened the door: “Hey, darlin’.”

Alex was dressed casually with a bag of take out in his one hand, a small present in the other. He smiled nervously: “Uhm, surprise.”

~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Disclaimer: aroace people can give good relationship advise, be in relationships if they so wish and I do not want to invalidate anyone, so sorry if it came across like that. I’m just picturing James as an aroace who doesn’t date and doesn’t want to and is tired of everyone’s allo shit.

I love James as a character, but it’s hard to get him in with so many moving parts and people, so sorry for his small role so far. I’ll see what I can do.

This actually goes for all the characters, I want to give them all the attention they deserve, but keeping the story going is also important, so balance ahhh

[wri0thesley]

Semi-angsty scenario (however much hurt you feel willing to put in) of Prosciutto surviving the train fight, albeit quite injured, at home with his s/o when the new passione finds him and wants him (for like information or to recruit him again? idk)

recovering - prosciutto x reader (1.7k)

SFW. reader is gender neutral.

warnings for: hospitals, injury, self-hate, death idealation. 

Things do not change overnight; not really. 

Oh, for Prosciutto, they changed in the course of an hour, or maybe less. For your boyfriend, it had been a case of waking up that morning with two legs and two arms and two eyes, a heart that beat sound and fast, a charming smile and a teasing voice and the knowledge of his own finesse - and having almost none of those things by the time midnight struck. 

Prosciutto’s physicality changes overnight. The doctors do what they can for him (you, on pulled tight tenterhooks by his bedside, listening to the beep of monitors with your heart in your mouth in case of a flatline), but the battle and the train have taken much from him. His brain does not change at all. 

He spends two months in the hospital, wrapped in bandages and needles and monitors. You both count the tiles on the ceiling, over and over. You bring him grapes and magazines, but not flowers (and absolutely not cigarettes, though his hand fastens about your wrist and he begs - the doctors say his lungs may never function the same way again). The nurses speak to you;

“Oh, he must have been so handsome,” they say, pity lacing their tone, as they pat your shoulder. As they ask you about children, and the engagement ring on your finger, and you know that they’re thinking that you should get away now, before you’re railroaded into taking care of him (as if you wouldn’t, as if taking care of him is a punishment--). 

“He is,” you say, stubborn - but they give you those same smiles. “He is handsome.” 

He hates how they fluff his pillows, how they speak to him, how they simper. “Like I’m an invalid,” he says, frustrated. You do not remind him that he is an invalid right now; there’s no point in that. Prosciutto is still grappling with being in bed. 

He grapples with the prosthetic leg and arm. He grapples with the glass eye when he’s allowed to remove the adhesive pad (he gives up on that one, eventually; you source an expensive designer eyepatch instead, all embroidered with roses and thorns and glittering semi-precious stones). He grapples with himself, the first time he sees his body full-length in a mirror. 

“Look at me,” he says, lip twisting in disgust. “I should have died instead.”

“Don’t say that,” you say, softly, standing behind him. Your eyes travel the same path as his; the prosthetic leg, all plastics and metal (the shiny skin of where his leg finishes just visible beneath the hospital gown he hates wearing). The jointed arm that he’s still struggling to use. The scars all across his face, the place his hair had to be cut because of how blood was matting it together, the pinprick needle points of all the cannulas and wires he’s had sticking out of him for months. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“You say that now,” Prosciutto replies. “But in a few months . . . in a few months, after you’ve had to take care of me, you’ll wish I’d died too.”

-

He tries to refuse help at first. He drops glasses and whiskey bottles and his cutlery and swears and kicks his one good foot into doorways, toppling over because his balance is still not quite right. He shrugs off your attempts to help dress him. He rolls away from you in bed and fiercely shakes off your kisses on scarred shoulderblades. 

“You should leave me,” he says, bitter and angry. “Find someone whole. I’m a fucking liability.”

“I won’t,” you tell him, patiently. “I would stay with you if you were a brain in a jar.”

“Better than this,” he grunts, but in the night his body curls around yours and you kiss away tears from his scarred face that neither of you mention in the early morning light. 

It does not change overnight. Six months after his discharge from the hospital, things have calmed slightly - Prosciutto still drops his silverware sometimes, but instead of swearing and blaming himself, he forces himself to laugh. The house has adapted, too; Prosciutto had tried to avoid them at first (“The period features!” He’d said to you. “I don’t want a fucking stairlift, these stairs haven’t been altered since 1840--), but he’d acquiesced in the end. 

Extra rails, things he can hold onto, antique wingback chairs with new handles he can help himself in and out of more easily. Gadgets to make his grip better, your bedroom relocated into what used to be his study - Prosciutto has always been the kind of man to resist change, but for you he pushes himself. 

And he still cries, of course. You hear him call out for Pesci. You hear him call out for Risotto. He wakes up panting and sweating and cursing Bruno Buccellati’s name (though both of you know what happened to him. Prosciutto has made his peace - he respects Buccellati’s devotion. He’s glad of Diavolo’s deposement. You feel rather less sanctimonious about it, and sometimes the voice in your head is glad that Bruno Buccellati came to a sticky end.). He tells you to leave him and that he’s not worth it and his working hand curls around your waist, pulling you into him, whispering he wishes he’d died instead. 

You live a slightly quieter life. Prosciutto likes luxury, but likes a bargain and hates spending money even more - you two have a nice little savings pot that keeps you in (if not the manner you were accustomed to before) modest fashion. Grateful Dead potters about the house - some of his tentacles are wizened and broken, but he reaches things for Prosciutto that your boyfriend cannot and lays his head on your knee, more desperate for affection now than he ever was before Prosciutto’s injuries. Prosciutto tenses when you lay your hand on Grateful Dead’s head, but shivers when your fingers trace soft patterns, his own head rolling back to enjoy the ghost of your hand on his stand. 

And you are happy. 

You are as happy as you can be. You and Prosciutto muddle along, but he is alive and you are by his side. You kiss him and his good arm goes around your waist, goading you into sitting on his knee. He whispers that he loves you, adores you, that you keep him going - and you whisper the same into his, sighing against his skin, happy that he is with you. 

Until the knock on the door, eight months after his accident. 

-

Giorno Giovanna, in real life, is tiny. He’s a boy - that much is clear. You’d heard he was fifteen (though perhaps he is sixteen now), but you hadn’t been expecting him to look . . . so young. Prosciutto is on edge in front of him, scowl on his handsome face so his overbite and slight buck teeth are more prominent, his knuckles white on the cane by his chair. 

“I don’t understand why you’ve come now,” you say to him, your voice pitching. You can see Prosciutto’s careful veneer falling apart in front of the new Don of Passione. “It’s been months.”

“We were waiting for Signore Prosciutto to recover from his injuries,” Giorno says, all benevolence. Your own heart beats treacherously fast in your chest. You do not trust this golden-haired angel, nor the dark-haired man he’s brought with him with one hand on the table and one hand in the gun in his pants. 

“I won’t be regrowing any of my limbs,” Prosciutto snaps, and you start as you see the gunman’s fingers flex on the handle. You put a hand on your boyfriend’s leg, high enough that it’s leg and not prosthetic, hoping to calm him. 

“We won’t be asking that of you,” Giorno continues, as if - in Diavolo’s reign - Prosciutto’s outburst wouldn’t be enough for him to find a bullet lodged in his brain. 

“I’m not exactly suited for field work in my condition,” Prosciutto says, and you want to shush him and talk for him. You hate this - hate that you can hear the barbed wire in Prosciutto’s voice, that it feels like you’re teetering on a tightrope. If Prosciutto says the wrong thing . . . you two have come so far! You’ve worked so hard! For Prosciutto’s life to come to an end, here, because of a wrong inflection or a rude word when he’s staring the man who killed his team-family-friends in the face and is expected to show deference to him . . .

You can’t bear it. 

“No,” Giorno says. Your throat is dry. You stare at the table in front of you (your old mahogany table was sent to an antiques shop; this one is perfectly sized for Prosciutto’s wheelchair on his worst days) and try and pretend that you aren’t on the edge of a breakdown and that your nerves aren’t fraying with every syllable that comes from Giorno’s mouth. “But . . . we have access to Diavolo’s files, signore, and we know you’d be well-suited for other things.”

“Prosciutto,” you say, aware your voice is small and whiny. You put a hundred things into the whisper of his name. The fear and anxiety and regret - the hope that you’d put the mafia behind you. You’re not stupid. A man like Prosciutto doesn’t get to leave his whole life behind. But you’d thought . . . after everything, you’d thought you were safe.

“Your family,” Giorno continues. “Your good name. Your knowledge of how the syndicate works. We could find a good use for you, signore, if you’ll agree to come work with us.”

(Giorno uses the word ‘agree’. You and Prosciutto both know that is not the case. There is no disagreement when it comes to these things. It is an agreement or an assassin in two weeks from now and a knife at his throat and you, with Prosciutto cradled in your arms as he bleeds out. Men like him do not get miracles twice.)

(He carefully says ‘with’, too. You both know it is ‘for’. ‘Under’. Prosciutto will be a pawn. Again.)

“Yes.” Prosciutto says. He shoots you a brief look that has a hundred apologies written all over it. “I understand, Don.”

They do not give Prosciutto much time to decide - both of them know, with you at his side, he isn’t going to say no. 

And when Prosciutto kisses Giorno’s ring and swears fealty again, he looks at you and you wonder how you were ever so foolish to believe you’d really escape. 

[twilightofthe]

What was your opinion of the Clovis arc? People I know either love it or hate it, no in between. I generally liked it but found it waayyy ooc.

Hey anon, thanks for the ask!!!!

AHSJFLSLALK OK SO UH. Wow. Clovis arc. Yiiiiiiikes ok so. I totally agree with you on the fandom divide and I also totally agree that everyone involved in it is rather OOC for my taste. That being said, that case of OOC is exactly why I personally do not like the arc that much at all.

(Please note that my following words are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, and that anyone is free to disagree, in fact I welcome the discussion, and even if this is your favorite arc, please consider yourself welcome on my blog I hold nothing against those who might like it)

Part of me was gonna make a short and sweet point about how I don’t like that TCW has had both of its main female characters have unwanted kisses forced on them, and instead of teaching young girls watching to tell those kinds of people to fuck off and respect their bodies, we get: 1. Just let it happen, you both must kinda like each other anyway or 2. Stay still then sit back while your boyfriend beats him half to death

But actually turns out I wanted to spend all day writing an essay so now you get this. So far I’m gonna hit four points:

the show’s constant need for Vader foreshadowing sometimes tending to completely override Anakin’s current mindset and personality he should have at this point in the timeline as well as his preestablished characterization

the way TCW gave Anakin a giant dosage of toxic masculinity to try and please the pissy movie critics who didn’t like that he cried

the role of Padmé and how TCW tries to portray her as a “strong woman” by just having her constantly be irritated by and sometimes even look like she actively dislikes her husband while simultaneously have her act OOC so they can blame HER and her actions for Anakin’s reactions and anger and overall Fall

How I think this arc is not irredeemable and that with some fixes it could be done decently— decently, not well, because a lot of this arc’s problems are also due to preexisting writing choices throughout the show

(Ok whoops this turned into a half Clovis arc rant half entire TCW Anidala commentary)

So firstly I wanna start that yes, I am fully aware that TCW is meant to fill in the gaps between AOTC and ROTS and help explain why Anakin’s mindset in the final movie is what it is and justify his Fall. Of course we need to show some Vader foreshadowing throughout the series, and in some places it is executed very well, notably the Mortis arc, the Bad Batch arc, the Wrong Jedi arc, as well as others that I can’t cite off the top of my head currently because I might have a mild touch of heat exhaustion wooo I need to get off the beach.

But it also has some rather hamfisted Vader foreshadowing stuff too. Like, y’all know the fandom joke where it’s like “Anakin: *Accidentally Leaves The Toilet Seat Up*. The Background Music: *BLASTS the Imperial March*” but like, they actually really do that. Like the time where they have Anakin take out a terrorist about to blow up an entire ship full of people and then play the Imperial March afterwards and imply he’s a “cold-blooded killer” just to defend the moral purity of the two people who were gonna stand there and let the ship blow in the name of idealism.

I’m getting off topic but yeah, sometimes the show’s Vader foreshadowing makes sense, sometimes it’s pretty forced, and the Clovis arc DEFINITELY leans towards the forced side, and when they try to force more of Darth Vader into Anakin at a point where he shouldn’t quite be there yet, it screws with his entire character.

This is particularly shown in the majority of the show’s takes on Anakin’s relationship with Padmé. Namely, they tend to forget nearly the entirety of AOTC with the exception of the Tusken murder scene, then forget even more of ROTS up until the point where Anakin strangles her on Mustafar. Basically, they take the truth that it was Anakin’s unhealthy attachment to Padmé that sparked his Fall, but then they decide to run with it where almost every single interaction he has with her in the damn show is him being a toxic overbearing dick to her and her acting like she mildly tolerates him at most and definitely doesnt respect him as like, I guess a way of showing what happened on Mustafar is in character for them???? Ugh, I’ll explain further.

So with Anakin’s aggressive possessiveness towards her. We know Anakin has possession and attachment issues. We know he’s a clingy needy whiny anxious mess who’s constantly afraid of losing or driving away the few people he has pinned his entire happiness on. We know he leans unhealthily on Padmé to provide the majority of his emotional support. We know he’s convinced himself he can’t live without her. But never, NEVER is it seen in the movies where his possessiveness turns into outward aggression towards her or this douchey pushiness. Never does he treat her like his property, like she belongs to him.

Not until Mustafar.

Not until he’s raving, half out of his mind with the warring emotions over the atrocities he’s just committed, until he’s begging her to understand where he was coming from, begging her and the child to stay with him and justify his decision, until he sees Obi Wan and sees her backing away from him, leaving him, and he PANICS because oh no no no you can’t abandon me, I need you, doN’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME. And he lashes out and tries to force her to stay, punish her for leaving and doubting him, and he puts that hand around her throat.

And that is supposed to be when we know he’s crossed the line, when we’re supposed to be horrified, where we know he’s lost himself, because he has NEVER ACTED LIKE THAT BEFORE.

Now how does Anakin act before? In the movies? He’s deferential to Padmé in almost every other scene they’re in together.

In AOTC, yeah he stares at her a bit creepily from a distance, he says awkward things and does goofy stuff to impress her, but he does Not get in her face. The few times he does invade her space, she flat out tells him: stand back. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t say that. Don’t interrupt me. And Anakin always, always backs off, respects her wishes. He follows her lead and lets her call the shots both on Naboo when he’s supposed to be protecting her and when she organizes the Geonosis rescue and once they arrive where she flat out tells him “I’m a Senator, I’ll handle this, just back me up”, and he’s all but just “ok yes queen”.

But they aren’t married then. Fine, take ROTS. It’s a movie all about Anakin’s issues but even then, when he’s worried about Padmé dying, he tells her he’s worried and that he can’t lose her, but he still keeps a distance. He doesn’t constantly hover and loom over her. If anything, Padmé, both in ROTS and AOTC is always the one to approach Anakin and close the distance when there’s conflict. When Anakin is upset, he averts his eyes and distances himself, tries to draw in on himself and brood silently, and we’ve seen it in Palpatine sometimes (of course with bad motives but he still does), but Obi Wan and Padmé both especially needing to be the ones to come over, turn his face to them and be like “hey, look at me, I care about you, what’s wrong”. Padmé SAYS in ROTS when he’s feeling specifically conflicted about losing Padmé, “don’t shut me out” and has to come over to him because he’s retreated into a corner of the room to scowl angstily out the window. Anakin does NOT get overbearing and possessive of her or get in her face, not once in the films.

In the fucking show? The Clovis arc, while perhaps the worst offender, isn’t even close to being the first time Anakin has been overly pushy and aggressive with Padmé, or acting like she’s something he owns, From that time in the Senate Hostage ep where he’s bugging her about ditching work and all but acting like incels texting like “awww but babe my dick hurts :(”, from the FIRST Clovis disaster ep where he’s childishly trying to screw up Padmé’s mission, to the Clovis arc in season 6

And this is where they just roll right in with their “oh so Anakin’s an overbearing, entitled douche” bit with the interaction he has with Pads and he’s trying to talk her out of taking the Clovis assignment and he says something along the lines of “as your husband, I demand you don’t do this”.

Hwat. The Fuck.

What kind of caveman-esque, 1800’s-ass man of the house whom my wife must obediently serve kinda entitled-ass BULLSHIT?!?!?!?

Like, I’m sorry, I really am, but that is just completely out of left field and not like Anakin at all. I mean to the point that when he’s an evil Sith Lord trying to talk her into taking over the galaxy with him, EVEN THEN he does not include “Padmé you must join me because I’m your husband and you do as I say” sort of domineering assholerly.

Anakin does not push Padmé around. He does not TRY to assert authority over her or try and force her to do shit. Not only because she doesn’t put up with that kinda shit for a second, but because Anakin respects Padmé; he will treat her with respect. He always has, and sometimes like in this arc it really doesn’t feel like he does.

Now of course Padmé’s response to the “I own you” declaration is “fuck you, asshole, I do what I want” and doubling down on her decision, and then decides to go even harder on the mission if only to spite her douche husband (and we’ll get to Padmé’s characterization in a bit) which is a very different kind of Anidala conversation we see in the show as opposed to the movies (also discussed later).

Now, the reason for Anakin’s overbearing douchery ties directly into an overarching problem in TCW— honestly, one of the very few issues I have with this show, but the problem is that it touches nearly the entire thing —and that is they almost completely reworked Anakin’s personality to be more hyper-masculine alpha male.

This is a topic I’ve discussed on my blog before, but the gist is that in the movies, Anakin was not the typical male heroic protagonist and DEFINITELY not what people expected from Future Darth Vader The Masked Brutish Male Power Fantasy. He was awkward, he was shy, he was soft spoken, he was clumsy around the girl he liked, he was very openly romantic, he liked frolicking in fields and candlelit dinners and snuggling. Two of the most important people in his life were soft, feminine women and he openly loved them very dearly and very gently— and he deferred to them when he felt it was right, as I’ve mentioned before. He CRIED when he was upset and was messy and emotional. And fanboys hated this with a burning passion. They couldn’t project their power fantasy onto this!!!! The Anakin critics were a HUGE part of the mob who crucified the prequels to the point of chasing both Anakin actors practically out of the movie industry in general.

The Clone Wars writers were obviously petrified of this happening again. So their solution, as has always been Star Wars’s solution to hateful fans being upset about an innocent character, is to completely rework them, hide or retcon all the undesirable qualities, and act like everything was all fixed. Now don’t get me wrong, there are aspects of TCW Anakin that I adore. As I’ve also mentioned before, they got his humor, his cleverness, his eagerness to do the right thing, to help people, his relationship with Obi Wan and Ahsoka and his men, they got that all perfectly. But the rest??? TCW’s solution to the criticism of Movie!Anakin was to turn him into an agressive, dominant, violent shadow of everything “soft” he was in the movie

Now, he speaks loudly and more deeply. Now, he’s cocky and overconfident and while yes he was arrogant in the movies, now it’s dialed up to like an 11. He never cries, never even THINKS to show a negative emotion that’s not Manly Rage And Aggression(TM). And then there’s the way he is around the women in his life. No more awkwardness or shyness, now he makes jokes about being a “ladies man” and does whatever the fuck flirting he does with Miraj Scintel even though the Anakin from the movies would have needed like every scrap of his self control just to look at her without insta-murdering her face. And then there’s how he is with Ahsoka and Padmé. He is muuuuch more of a loud brash dudebro around them who pushes his weight and is kind of controlling and their solution is just to have the both of them be Strong Women(TM) who Fight Back whenever he tries it too hard with them.

With Ahsoka, it’s not too bad because it’s a brand new dynamic and she’s a rather agressive firecracker personality herself when we first meet her, so the constant Snips n’ Skyguy snipefest works for them. For Padmé? It just means that in far too many episodes they’re in there’s a point where Anakin says something Eh and Padmé gets mildly irritated to actually annoyed with him for it and she’ll talk down to him and then there’s an argument between them because he’s bullheaded and she’s a Strong Woman. Why do I consider these out of character?

In the movies, despite the flaws, Anidala is a couple who actually tries to communicate. Anakin feels open to speak about his troubles to Padmé and her to him (for the most part, she definitely has a savior complex and a tendency to squash her own shit so she can help deal with both Anakin’s and the galaxy’s at large) when they’re worried or concerned about something and they want to talk it out, so they’ll talk it out!

The problem with Anidala isn’t that they don’t communicate, it’s that they try but also only do it by halves because they hate fighting. They’ll talk, Anakin will say something that Padmé might disagree with— the fascism discussion in the Naboo field in AOTC, the question of whether the Republic is just or not in TPM —and she’ll try and correct him if she feels he’ll listen, but if he doubles down, she’ll go “ok you know what, agree to disagree, let’s not fight” and she subtly changes the subject because she hates fighting with him. If Pads says something Ani doesn’t like— telling Obi Wan about them in ROTS, some emotional advice she tries to give in both movies —he’ll flat out shut down and be like “I don’t want to talk about this, let’s drop it” and then seek out cuddles or affection as a distraction.

And that brings us back to the Clovis arc. The scene where the “as your husband” line occurs. Anakin is trying to talk Padmé out of doing this not because he’s jealous. Maybe he was jealous the first time he met Clovis and saw Padmé being all cute n’ fond with her old flame, but this time it seems almost entirely because last time ended in catastrophe and he’s genuinely worried for Padmé and feels she’s not thinking wisely, that she’s putting herself in danger.

However, Anakin is deciding to voice these concerns in Possessive Dudebro Pushing because of the aforementioned misguided Vader Foreshadowing and Toxic Masculinity. Padmé? Is not even CONSIDERING what he has to say, is just breezing on through and shutting him down at every turn and generally acting like he’s a dumbass who doesn’t have a clue about anything.

Now, it is very in character for Padmé Amidala to be all “I’m right, you’re wrong, fuck you don’t get in my way”. HOWEVER, they aren’t framing this as solely Padmé having a goal and bulldozing her way through the situation. That’s not how they frame this.

They frame this as: Padmé is embarrassed that she misjudged the situation wrong the last time and embarrassed even further that Anakin had to step in and get her out of trouble— which he brings up —and probably remembers that he made fun of her while he did it—

(Timing out to say that THAT scene was also OOC; they once more wanted a Vader parallel what with Anakin’s silhouette when he opens her cell door and the way Padmé’s sleeping pose is identical to Leia’s in ANH. But Anakin basically steps in and gives her this condescending-ass “awww the little wife’s gotten in over her head like I SAID she would, good thing I’m here to rescue her!” bit that’s really just MEAN. It’s not like him and Obi Wan’s/Ahsoka’s teasing snark whenever they have to pull each out of trouble, he’s just kicking her while she’s already down. Really, Anakin’s reaction should have been a lot less humorous and a lot more pissy; she didn’t listen to him, didn’t trust him, and ended up in danger because of it. It’d be a surly and upset “I told you so”, not an amused one.)

—and now it seems much more like Padmé is solely taking this assignment to spite Anakin for being a dick and to pettily prove that she knows what she’s doing rather than any sense or urge to do the right thing. And....... childish pettiness????? Is not Padmé. And yet, she has the entire immature “don’t tell me what to DO, Anakin” attitude this whole arc that amounts to WAY more than just the normal response she would have to his overcontrolling dickishness

And once again, it’s because she, like everyone else in the episode, seems to think the problem Anakin has is that he’s jealous of Clovis. He’s not, not really. He’s insecure, yes, but he also knows Clovis is a bag of dicks as well, and trusts that Padmé knows she’s better than that. His problem isn’t fears he’ll lose Padmé, it is entirely that Padmé isn’t listening to his concerns, doesn’t trust him, is going into a situation they both know is unwise, and he is frustrated he’s not in a position where he can look out for her since he feels she’s not looking out for herself. And, he’s not entirely wrong. Padmé IS being reckless and kind of irrational solely to prove a point. He just goes about it pretty much entirely the wrong way, which is what you can really say is the cause and effect formula for any problem Anakin Skywalker encounters and subsequently makes worse.

And then there’s That Scene. The one where Clovis tries to force a kiss on Padmé and Anakin freaks and almost kills him for it. I’ll start off by quoting another Tumblr user on that very scene by saying in regards to Clovis: “that bitch deserved that”. The almost murder? Maybe not that far, but the initial hitting for disrespecting someone’s “no”? Yep, that was deserved.

My first criticism is that Anakin shouldn’t have even had time to attack him because why the fuck wasn’t Padmé instantly kneeing him in the balls?!?! Like Padmé is not prone to violence immediately, no, but she can will and does defend herself immediately when she needs to— her right punch knocked someone tf out once when she was pissed —and she already gave him a warning that his advances were not welcomed.

Now, I am absolutely not victim blaming. I am NOT saying it is the fault of a woman (I’d be a hypocrite if I did and that’s all I’ll say on THAT), or of anyone when faced with sexual harassment, if they don’t fight back for whatever reason, no matter how capable of doing so they may be. What I’m saying is that considering her previous behavior and personality and the fact that the show NEVER goes deep enough into explaining heavy stuff like why victims might freeze or NOT fight back when faced with harassment, I feel like showing her not attempting to defend herself at all is kinda strange.

Now, Padmé’s utter passiveness to the situation aside, we’re going back into toxic masculinity and misunderstood interpretations of how Anakin displays possession. While I’ll repeat that Clovis deserved consequences for the forced kiss, Anakin going full caveman defending his property jealous rage just. Doesn’t feel right to me. Again, I think Anakin would probs hit him and put the fear of living god into him, maybe even I’d buy the attempted murder if they framed it as Anakin doing it because he hates those who force their will on others and disrespect women, but the whole that’s MY wife and you’re touching her shite just once more feels alpha male aggressive ridiculousness. Like again, I understand Anakin is possessive of Padmé, but not like this. I’m sorry, but I just cannot see that, him fighting over her like she’s a scrap of meat.

Like, I completely think she’s in the right tho to put them on a break after he does it though. That’s well within her right.

But then onto the FINAL part where after Clovis goofs and fucks them all over and then dies, she forgives him and blames herself for everything and apologizes. And like, that part I do see as in canon and character for her and for Anakin. He doesn’t like to admit his mistakes, her mistakes weigh on her and when she fails to fix or save someone, she falls into depression and upset and self-blame.

But the fact that Clovis died because Anakin dropped him? Anakin Skywalker, who scaled an entire elevator shaft carrying two people over his back who combined probs weighed more than Padmé and Clovis. Anakin Skywalker, who’s used the Force to lift tons of debris, who’s used it to hold back explosions, Anakin Skywalker, MOST POWERFUL FORCE USER IN HISTORY WHO TENDS TO RELY ON BRUTE STRENGTH FOR MOST SHIT ANYWAY. That Anakin couldn’t pull two people over a ledge?!?!?!?!? This has always bothered me.

Like to be honest; I feel this entire episode could have been so fixable too. Like keep Anakin’s obsessive worry over Padmé making a mistake, keep the best part of the arc which is his talk with Obi Wan where Obi Wan tries to connect with him and explain that he’s not alone, all Jedi have emotional struggles and have loved, if perhaps he wants to TALK to someone about it, Obi Wan is here for him, like that? That’s okay!

Just ugh ffs, get rid of the nasty Anakin treating Padmé like a naughty dog who won’t obey him and the Padmé purposely acting unwisely to spite Anakin plot. Have the entire conflict be both of them being upset that the other doesn’t trust them, doesn’t believe in their advice, keep Padmé’s speech about how marriages NEED trust and compromise to survive, take all of Anakin’s aggression towards Padmé and transfer it to aggression towards Clovis, like make the conflict him menacing the guy if he hurts Padmé again just because he’s being overprotective and “if you won’t look out for yourself I will” and Anakin getting constantly checked for not being able to control his emotions, Padmé can tell him off for being overprotective instead of overaggressive and his possessiveness can instead show through him arguing that he needs to keep her safe at all costs. THAT can be the argument.

And if they want the Vader foreshadowing? Like real, in-character Vader foreshadowing??? Tbh, drop the Clovis beatdown, drop the machoness towards Padmé, and just have Anakin blatantly DROP the douchebag at the end of the episode instead of his hand slipping. Make him choose to ACTIVELY kill Clovis. Like THAT, Anakin taking the law into his own hands and deciding that he knows best and this guy is dangerous and has fucked up one too many times, there being an opportunity where there’s an chance to save Clovis when they’re alone without Pads, “be a Jedi, Padmé wouldn’t want this, do the right thing” Clovis might say, and we can see Anakin’s face considering, and then he just “Long Live The King”s him and lets him fall and die, THAT is an in-character Vader foreshadowing.

Then at the end of the episode, we can have Anakin lie to her, say Clovis slipped, say it was too late, and Padmé can believe him, thank him for trying. Then there’s the same thing where Padmé apologizes, and we can have a callback to the convo about trust and she adds that she’s sorry that she didn’t trust him, and when she says that, we zoom in on Anakin’s guilty face.

There. That’s how I’d fix these episodes

And THERE, I think I’ve complained about everything, I am SO sorry for the gigantic ass post and response, I’ll add a read more once I’m on my laptop and not on the beach on mobile.

But yeah anon, I hope that satisfies your question xD

Once again, I welcome discussion if y’all either agree with me or if you have any differing opinions, I know my takes are far from hot for several people and I’m curious to see what others think!