#but i just keep losing weight

[femmeboyhooters]

Anyone got tips on how to gain weight?

[chloesimaginationthings]

The moment FNAF movie Vanessa knew she fucked up

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[zeb-z]

I'm actually unbelievably unwell about Etoiles character you don't understand. He's always been a sword, protecting by attacking first, by fighting back, offense as the best defense. He jokes a lot about dying for the island, dramatic and half sarcastic, but there's truth in his jests. He would kill, and he would die, for his daughter, for the rest of the eggs, for the safety of everyone on the island. He does not hesitate, for what good would that do him?

Then he gets the shield, and it changes the entire game. And while he can still kill to protect the island, he can no longer truly die for them.

His role is functionally the same - he draws attention to himself, he's just as ready for a fight as he's always been, he fights the codes to protect the island - but its the difference between a sword and a shield, because of his literal shield.

He's the only solid defense between the codes and the island, and all the eggs. The only one who can tank the hits and negate the effects of their crazy powerful swords.

A sword cannot hesitate, but a shield must consider it - he cannot take risks when he’s fighting in the Colosseum, because if he dies he’d lose the shield. He cannot risk attacking the fake Pomme without hesitation, not until he’s sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s not his real daughter.

A shield must be sturdy. It must hold up under pressure. It must stay strong and reliable, no matter the circumstance - as the eggs go missing and everyone else crumbles, Etoiles cannot follow suit. He will play his part and defend the island, shouldering what the others cannot, because who else will do what he does?

To lose the shield would not only mean to lose himself, but to lose his family. He cannot fall without failing the entire island, his loss would mean disaster, for who is he if he’s not standing between the ones he loves and the monsters that threaten them?

He's as much a shield as the one he carries.

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

just think itd be funny if they met irl

[rainyfestivalsweets]

It took losing about 120 pounds for people to notice.

Keep going.

Just keep going.

[thornymoth]

Just received my second plushie and pendant from @a-magpie-in-gravesfield, and I'm so happy right now! The plushie is unbelievably soft and huggable, and it’s now hanging out with the first one.

I meant to finish and post some art before making this post, but I got too excited. Couldn't resist sharing how thrilled I am that everything arrived safe and sound yet again, and just on time! I’m still as in love as ever with the letter and the wax seals it came with, but could we talk about the bag? It’s the most beautiful bag I’ve ever seen. /lh

He flopped face-first onto the bed after his long journey, and honestly, he looks so goofy like that. He’s just so husband and precious to me, I'll keep showering him with kisses and love forever.

[satans-knitwear]

Big baby Rosie keeps trying to sit on my lap as if she were baby belle sized, and the results are sweet and ridiculous. We definitely both need the comfort and silliness rn.

[justemithings]

i’m having such a hard time lately. i need to be worse

[astranauticus]

stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir

(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)

But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?

so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me

in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone

and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age

but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind

and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind

(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)

"I just see this place as my home"

so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3

[caffinateddepressoexpresso]

My biggest fear rn is that the scale I'm using in vacation is COMPLETELY off, and once I weight myself home I'll be way heavier than I thought.

[hussyknee]

That's 91.4F and real feel 105.8F to you godless USAmerican heathens.

I'm too fat for this. I'm going to die. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Edit: this is about Sri Lanka btw. Shit's unliveable even for a tropical island on the equator.

[jfkisonthemoon]

they honestly couldve done so much with junpei beheaded/dismembered and im disappointed that it ended up just being mira. so much of his character and his relationship with akane is characterized by his lack of bodily autonomy, and him being openly beheaded during the nonary games would be the ultimate example of this. its perhaps the most brutal death in the game, and it never really gets explained or developed beyond the one puzzle that we get with it. junpei has been shown repeatedly to be subject to akane's plans or follow her blindly and i just think that would have been a really interesting angle to approach his beheading from. junpei has willingly signed up for nonary games in two different timelines just because he knew he would see her. he was infected with a deadly virus trying to find her. he grew desensitized to death as he took underground jobs to try and find her. his safety always comes second when shes in the picture, and his beheading wouldve been a prime opportunity to 1. exploit his willingness to let himself die/be injured for her and 2. make akane confront the fact that her confidence that junpei will always follow after her is not necessarily a positive thing.

[rockafirevevo]

has anyone noticed the world is getting so much smaller lately

[wizardnuke]

does anyone know if we have to roll that rock up the hill again tomorrow

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i don’t have any evidence for this like at all but i just Really have this feeling that if suguru had stayed at jujutsu high instead of defecting his curses would’ve eaten him alive