#but i hope some people get somethign out of this

[theguardianace]

man. it hasn't even been a full half day of this event being out and im already drafting a fic for it. what an absolute RIDE thsi has been.

[c-nan]

a lot of people don’t like to hear this, but like..if you need help, if you need anything you have got to ask for it. no matter how much you think your struggling is visible and how much you think people should just be able to see and reach out..they won’t, they don’t see, they don’t know what’s going on and you can’t expect them to be able to read your mind and know exactly what’s going on/what to do to help. it’s up to you. it’s YOUR responsibility to both want to get help and actively try and get it. no one is going to help you if they don’t know you need the help in the first place and it’s not fair to get angry at them for not knowing

[deivorous]

thinking about grimm and religion this morning and honestly making myself a little sad.

[infernalantics]

qifrey witch hat atelier is really interesting bc i feel like with the type of character archetype he is (ie the mentor/teacher type who seemingly isn’t like most other adults who accept some kind of status quo) his personality traits are … fascinating. like granted there’s some stuff we don’t know that much about so a lot of this is speculation and me kind of spewing out my thoughts…!

but anyways somethign thats so fascinating to me about the small little glimpses of qifrey we get as a child is very different to the present day one we see now. which i don’t really know how else to describe other than putting these two side by side

he feels a lot more..? expressive now. which imo is a combination of a lot of things. young qifrey genuinely makes sense to be someone who’s quite uh.. confused & afraid. a young kid not really knowing his past but only knowing what took it away from him and a feeling of hard-focused anger towards them.. while at the same time having all of that taken away from him means he kinda doesn’t know who he was…? a emptiness from something they took out of him that he can’t really even place what’s missing..

which is realllyyy evident in this panel + these lines. i think that qifrey as a young kid being obsessive about his whole past was probably not super expressive or talkative and prob didn’t have that many friends aside from olruggio. being a kinda weird case of a witch learning magic and all…

(hm. sound familiar? i mean like. coco was in a horrible situation/circumstance regarding forbidden magic that caused her mom to turn to crystals and instead of having her memories wiped qifrey took her in and taught her magic. while qifrey was in a horrible situation regarding forbidden magic that took away his past, left him without his eye, but instead of having his memories wiped beldarut took him in and taught him magic. but that’s beside my point. for now)

but his search kind of abruptly gets cut off after going to the tower + learning it was a new type of magic. and he can’t tell anyone about this so i think he basically just sits with it for a while, his leads fizzle out for a while and in that time he starts the atelier and gets some apprentices and within that time is a lot happier and more content .

n then coco appears, he gets another lead, the grudge bubbles back up, yada yada youve read the manga. (probably)but all of that to say i think such a lovely part of his character is his ANGER!

i think this scene can be interpreted a lot of different ways since we kinda just don’t have the resolution to it yet and i think it may uh. be a minute until we do… but qifrey does absolutely care very much for the people around him. that much is evident. and i don’t think his anger is always in spite of him caring, i think it also works in tandem with it.

qifrey wants to keep being a teacher, he wants to be fulfilled and he wants a future. but essentially he’s been put on a time limit. (or at least he sees it that way) this happy present he has is temporary and slipping through his fingers so he’s working really desperately to settle everything with the brimhats to try and keep his future.. they took away his past, he didn’t know who he was or what he came from, and his future is being lost too… the combination of knowing his secret could super get him in BIG MASSIVE TROUBLE + that he seems pretty damn insistent on dealing with this on his own… makes his decision to wipe olruggios memories in ch40 REALLY COMPELLING!!! the line “from the pursuit of hope, comes the cost which is despair itself” really ties the whole scene together for me…

and even aside from his own backstory i think he has an anger to him that comes from his care for the girls + olruggio exactly too. you can see this in the way he immediately fuckign snaps when coco gets hurt

but god this is wayyy longer than intended but all of this to say. qifrey has a tendency when something isn’t fair, it’s hard for him to just sit by and let it go. it’s why i think he’s a rlly good mentor figure for the themes of witch hat atelier. his anger resonates with the viewer, because it makes you think: fuck, man, isn’t it unfair he just got his past ripped away from him? isn’t it unfair that coco just got hurt in a battle she shouldn’t have to be fighting? isn’t it unfair that the law tells you that there’s so much you can’t do about all of it, too?

where i think qifrey is going, or where i hope he his, is letting himself truly realize that he doesn’t have to feel all of this alone.

which i think he knows that, logically, but again he’s committed to dealing with things on his own and is kind of a hypocrite lol. which is something he kind of just literally says here in the fact he’s extremely reckless with his own well-being (also likely due to the fact he sees his future as slipping away from him too and well. probably illness in his brain) but tells coco not to do what he does…. god bless❤️

because also i mean.. coco understands. she might understand better than most! to have your whole world changed and not understand why everything has to be unfair! to be wronged by forbidden magic but still have to sit with the hurt of knowing it could be used to help so many people! (notably coco’s mom… qifrey himself…)

which she literally says herself!!!

and olruggio, who keeps reaching out, who wants to be someone he can rely on and trust.. and who probably helped him a lot in his search, too, even if he thought it might be bad for him, he cared about him..! in a lot of his most reckless moments, olruggio is there to help him (eg “whats your top priority right now?!”) and i think that was probably true for a younger version of them, too.

and overall for coco… magic is hope. magic is seeing a problem and finding a solution. magic is wanting to help people. magic is so many beautiful things bundled into one.

qifrey DOES have a future. because as long as coco is around, she will find a solution and she will find hope in the darkest of moments. because as long as olruggio is around there will be someone who cares about him and will try to reach out. because magic is hope, right?

isn’t all of that so much of what qifrey taught her himself?

because i do think qifrey still has hope. i mean.. so much of his conflict COMES from having hope and chasing it and the agonizing feeling of that. (again, “from the pursuit of hope comes the cost that is despair itself”) but even if it hurts to live in a world that is unfair and feeling like you’re powerless, even if it is a hard and difficult battle to hold onto that hope despite everything, it’s always worth it. even a tiny little glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel is enough to run towards it.

i think that in the end what qifrey has left to do is let other people use that hope towards him.

(….although it might be a bit of a rocky road getting there AHAHAH i don’t know how many more epic qifrey moments like ch40 we’re getting….)

anyways this got really long i didn’t expect this to turn into a whole rant abt qifreys character HAHA but thank u if anyone reads this witch hat fandom is pretty small so i might actually tag all of this. i would love more witch hat mutuals ehe.. ❤️ have a good one

[zarrella-hisone-and-only]

heyyy, I hope you’ve had a nice day I was wondering if I could request ushijima, bokuto and sakusa with a fem tease sitting on their lap for a bumpy car ride and they get ‘excited’ down there 😏 it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable with writing this! <33

Don't worry lovie I'll do my best to delivery!! Hopefully you enjoy it! Sorry if this took a decade, I ran into some writer blockages along the way heh! 😫

Bumpy Car Rides

Summary: How would the Haikyuu boys react to their dear lover sitting on their whilst on this bumpy ride?

Warnings: Characters are aged up, dirty talk, mentions of sex, teasing. Not Proof read!!! New writer!!

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It had been almost a decade since you and Ushijima had a fun day out. It was always him having to leave early in the mornings and coming home after you finished dinner. But this time you ahd somethign fun planned. It was autum and it had almost seemed like fate, a hay bale ride!

You smile hugging onto your muscular boyfriend's arm in pure joy. He sat down beside you far in the back of the cart. The guide moved and paid their attention to the younger children in the back, but you had other plans. Why bring your perfect boyfriend to this boring childish ride, maybe it was time to spicy it up a bit!

The hay bale ride was a hour and a half long. So you had loads of time to make this more fun for both you and your lover. You leaned closer to Ushijima's ear and whispered softly, practically breathing on him.

"Ushiii.. My seat is so rough, can I sit on your lap? Pleaaase.."

His eyes widened as he looks at you in utter confusion, were you really asking to sit on his lap?

"Wha-" You interrupted him by lifting your body up, just high enough to snuggle your bum comfortably on his thighs. His face was merely inches away from you, this cart was filled with children, adults, and old people.

You placed a small peck on the bridge of his nose, giving him a sweet and innocent smile.

"Y/n-" You cut him off again.

"Look babe, seems like it's about to get bumpy.." You wiggle in your seat atop of him, causing some friction underneath you. He raised his hand to cover his face, he lowly groans and sighs.

"Babe, I don't think this is the right time for-"

The cart bumps and you rub against him adjusting yourself again. It wasn't long till you felt something poking and prodding at your butt. A sly smirk plastered your face as you kept calm, continuing you effortless tortures. He places his hands on your waist tightening his grip.

If this wasn't bad enough for him, you managed to lean back and rub yourself against whilst letting out a small lewd noise for only him to hear.

Long story short, your little shenanigans put you in a bad position when you both arrived home.

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The bus was full and compacted. And well, there was only one free seat near the back. You grasped your boyfriends arm and pulled him through the crowds on people. Bokuto sat down and you wiggled yourself into his lap.

"Uh, b-baby owl!" He exclaimed a bit embarrassed at your small yet impactful movements.

You turned back to place a sweet kiss on his lips, licking his bottom lip before leaving the kiss. His face was flushed a bright red as he gripped the seat's edge in frustration.

Fortunately for you the bus ride has seemed to hit a few bumps along the way. This caused you body to fly and then hit back down on his little friend. Bokuto gritted his teeth holding back a groan every time you landed back down effortlessly perfectly square on his sweet spot.

You looked back at him and raised a brow. "What's wrong baby?" You tease asking so innocently. He had a mind to rip you to shreds when he got home, because his little friend decided to wake up and greet you.

"Baby owl, I'm not sure you want to play this game your trying..." He groans lowly in your ear. And well, I guess it turned you on a bit.

"What ever do you mean my love?"

"I'm not sure why your acting so innocent babe, you know damn well what your doing... And you'll regret it when we get home.."

You ignore his mindless and ballsy threats and notice that you have seemed to hit a mine bomb. "What a nice surprise.." You whispered feeling his member poking at you.

He huffed as the bus stopped and grabbed your hand taking you off the bus as fast as you could. And according to his promise, he sure did rip you apart the second the front door was closed.

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Sakusa wasn't one to go on public transports all the time, but this was the same cute trolley you would see everyday. After thousands of 'pleaase Omi' s and 'I'll literally die if I don't get to go on' , he finally gave in. You led him through the bundles of screaming children and messy toddlers to the back of the ride. There were two seats you you sat on the inside.

The trolley continued on its course and you were sure to watch the guide and make sure she wasn't looking at your boyfriend. You caught her catching another glance at him and you frown.

You lean over to Sakusa and whisper in his ear. "Omi, my seat is so dirty and close that nasty toddler in front of me.. Can I sit on your lap pretty please?" You whispered in the soft and sincere tone that he loved.

He shakes his head but you completely ignore it in jealousy. You slip yourself onto his comfortable lap and grab the hand that were near his side and wrap them around your waist. He stifles his breath and looks at you a shocked reaction. He was lucky that he had his mask on at all times because your boisterous action were sure to make his cheeks as red as tomatoes.

The trolley trudges onwards and hits a few bumps on the way. Between bumps you rub yourself gently across his groin, he lets out a breathy groan and bites his lip in frustration.

The guide glances at you wild actions whilst sitting on Sakusa's lap. She turns away now feeling silly that she was even thinking about making a move on him.

Meanwhile you kept doing your silly little antics causing your boyfriend unbearable pain. It wasn't long until you felt his anticipation peak. You leaned you back against his chiseled chest.

"Awh, are you excited for the next bump omi babe?" You whispered smiling in your words.

"Oh, you really want to play this dirty game again hm?" He quietly snaps back at you.

"Feisty huh?" You rub yourself against him again. He hisses and catches his breath, not able to say another word.

Long story short he had you in the shower bend over and screaming his name. He managed to wash away your dirty actions and reprimand you for acting like a jealous and territorial brat.

[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n brother), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

°•More under cut•°

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! (this specific chapter might be cringe)

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Thinking about it you realized you met him at Yunah's party. That was the day you met the Lee Siblings! Also when he met you and asked "I like you can i have your number?" Remembering that you decided to relive that moment and started replaying the memories.

You were at Yunah's house and she asked you to grab somethign from her room. You didnt know that the room on the right was hers and you went to the left. Oh boy did you know what was happening in there. You walked in to the room on the left and walked in to see some random group of hot dudes all playing League Of Legends. You did NOT expect that. "Oh sorry, but what are you doing in Yunah's room?" You asked the group of boys. Wow you were stupid. "Uh this is my room.." You tilt your head as you look at the boy who said that. His room? Who is he? "Uh who are you?". Are you dumb though? "Wow thats a new one. I guess ill introduce myself. Im Lee Heeseung." Holy shit bro. You never seen him but heard about him. Your in THE LEE HEESEUNGS room. "Oh sorry-" you tried saying before getting cut off. "Its fine your Yoon Y/N right?" Heeseung said. How did he know? "Oh yeah." You say shrugging. "Oh your Keeho's brother right? Your the most popular girl" Someone else shouts. "Oh uhm yeah!" you say trying to leave the room but they keep talking to you. "Im Jake." Oh so the one who said your keehos brother is Jake. "Dont be friends with him! Hes a loser and a bop. Im Riki." oh, so this is a competition about friends. "Yah! Dont say that Riki, your making yourself a loser! By the way im Sunoo :)" wow. so your gonna assume the other 3 are Sunghoon, Jay, and Jungwon. How do you know this? Yunah told you about them, plus you've seen them. "Oh well ima go bye!" You said while looking at Heeseung. He was smiling and you might have smiled back. You walk into Yunah's room and grab her hat like she asked. "Im back!" you yell walking down.

"What took you so long Yn?" Yunah asked you. "I got a little distracted" Wait when did he ask you out? That night lasted FOREVER. Oh yeah when you went to grab a jelly shot he and his friend group was there. You tried grabbing the jelly shots from the cabinet (why were they there?) but failed. You were lowkey embarrassed. "Here i got you." Someone says pressing his body against your while reaching to get it. You turn around "Oh thanks hee-" you got cut off AGAIN. "Your welcome princess. By the way your really pretty!" Heeseung says while smiling at you. "Oh thanks" You say and all you can hear from behind was "OOOH~!" bro- anyway. "I like you can i have your number?" What do you say? A really hot,tall,pretty guy just asked YOU for YOUR number. "Yeah sure!" You say and dial your number into his phone. "Thanks" He says then you walk away. You go back to Yunah,Karina,And Wonyoung. "Heeseung just gave me his number now what do i do?" You looked annnoyed but was not. "GIRL ARE YOU NOT EXCITED?! YOU GOT LEE HEESEUNGS NUMBER!" thats all you remembered so then you went to the next party and then the next hoping to see him until one day

You were at Jake's party and they were bumping loud music and you were lowkey over-stimulated. The people everywhere you went were loud and someone noticed it and pulled you to the side. "Hey you okay? You dont look so good" It was Heeseung. "Oh yeah just over-stimulated." you reply. "Yeah, Sometimes it gets too loud."

< Previous - Masterlist - Next >

AN: Did i just leave yall like that. YES. It was short cause i lowkey feel sick and literally am throwing up. But i hope you enjoyed this so far. We are halfway through this FF woooo!

[abbyzenken]

Alright you people.... SPLITTER GIRL HEADCANON EXPLOSION TIME!!!! :3

In my days of using Tumblr but I have never posted headcanons nor think much about tuem... but splittet girl is making my head full of tjem so here we go

1 . She is roommates with chemical girl. Splitter really loves annoying the shit out of her and even calls her "chemical-X" (funny powerpuff girls reference... eeheheheh);; on a side note, they live on a duplex

1.1 Some stupid shit Splitter really LOVES to do is push bowling balls down the stars, blasting very shitty music and so on ^^ To annoy her roommate even more, she blasts this super shitty "song", at max volumne, not even bothering to turn it off nor be even more quiet; she just sits there and dances like a drunk lady. Hell, she will even laugh like a bitch (song link below, view at your VERY own risk, it is so fucking shitty oh my god someone please take away this guy's suno activies)

• Speaking of this... she dances like an idiot^^

...anyway I apologize for putting a shitty """song"""... back to what I was ramblign about

2 . Splitter girl REALLY loves doing parodies of children's books and those fuckass AI ""songs"", and oh boy are they so fucking funny;; She made alot of parodies of the shitpiece linked below

3 . Her room is just a bunch of wires, cables, chargers and whatever the fuck,, Weevil said that she'd have a shitty depression room but I personally think it would be shittier. There would be posters of badly drawn stickmen, unorganized wires under her bed and so on

4 . Speaking of the stickmen,, she draws like Brewstew:pp she also watches Brewstew alot because it suits her humor and gets a super good laugh ay them,, not to mention has merch^^

5 . She has VERY shitty hair. Like it is all knotty and shit, super hard to detangle that someone, regardless if it is her roommate or somebody else, has to make her go to a super professional hairdresser

6 . She makes ramen when she is SUPER high. When I say super high I mean like, a fucked up combination of someone smoking a blunt, Lindshey Lohan and an extremely shitty person. When making ramen, she would put all sorts of random bullshit - makeup, olives, anything, INCLUDING wood and metal. And then she dumps it all into the toilet and. fucking clogs it. And then her roommate would wonder what the hell happened and who made knock-off fairy dust and calls a plumber to fix that shit

7 . Unironically plays knockoffs of well-known games. Like instead of "Uno", she would play a very shitty knockoff called "Cnuno". I'd like to imagine that she just brought it one day and shoved it on chemical girl's face. It went like this :

"HEY GIRLIE!!!! LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT!!" "oh, that's nice^^ what is it, the game uno? "Oh Chemical-X, it's better! Do you wanna play... THE SHITTIER VERSION CNUNO?^^" "...what the FUCK is a Cnuno?!"

8 . Fast typer. Like in her journal entry she has so much spelling mistakes (such as "me/.", "norma;l" and so on). Not to mention she would also not put a comma where needed, and would put all caps letters when making a sentence sometimes (sOmethign lik;e This; yes I am typing like splitter just for this example)

9 . She absolutely LOVES getting drunk and going to sobriety tests. She would hope that her table will be the drunk table and if it is, she will scream so fucking loud and immediatly get as much as she can, and on the sobriety test, she is absolutely fucking shitty

10 . She and chemical girl would go to the same school and would share some of the same classes^^ For example, they would share woodshop class - chemical would be extremely good at it, meanwhile splitter sucks ass at it

That's all I have^^ I will share more splitter headcanons and possibly of the other girls (including chemical) tomorrow, so please look foward to it:3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not talking to my sister?

we both currently live in the same house with our mother and youngest sister, who is in elementary. the sister i don't talk to is about two years younger than me. dont want to give exact ages but we are both early adults now. we haven't spoken in about six years, just small talk that is mostly just me giving her a message or asking if she wants something to eat.

now, i stopped talking to her because we got into a fight because i told her she could not hold my little sibling (at that time my mom was the only one working and i was the one caring for my three siblings, including the eldest who is disabled, and i was the only one who knew how to care for a baby.) and she told me basically to die. and a lot of her words were just stuff she was repeating from my mom who has like this weird thing against me since ive been young, never really knew why. she would yell at me in front of my siblings and still does sometimes, though not as much since shes older. anyway, i didnt speak to my sister for about two weeks because of that and also it was not the first time she spoke to me in such a hurtful way, until some family members noticed and scolded me for it being as i am her older sibling.

i didn't feel like what she said was right but eventually i realized i do love and care for her so i did try to make it up by walking her home from school and hugging her and buying her snacks from the gas station that was near our house at the time. but i guess my actions afected her and ever sense she had no interest in speaking with me, which my mother does still constantly blame me for.

i feel bad and i did try many times to fix things and even still currently although i know she doesnt care for me i do little things for her. but she doesnt want to talk and at this point i don't feel obligated to even want to keep trying to mend our relationship when she doesnt even care.

then recently things kind of went bad, which i won't go too much into detail about, but she ended up going to a mental hospital for a few days for running away and threatening to kill herself. and she made some comments about me to my mom saying that i didn't care about her and its my fault she did those things, which my mom agreed. then she came home after begging my mom to get her and pretended as if nothing happened. i soon found out from my eldest sib (who this sister is closer to) that she only did that in hopes that she could get somethign from my mom but idk what and why she even mentioned me because then some people came around asking me if i abused her or anything and why i didnt talk to her.

but it made me angry and hurt since i have been working to be a better sibling even in this awful household, ive been trying to treat my baby sibling better too so at least she knows she's loved and not alone. i am working and going to school while she (sibling i am not talking to) gets to sit at home. i get her gifts and she doesnt even thank me. i still love her even though she hates me so much, even though i know she was just manipulated by our mom to feel that way about me. and for her to say that after ive constantly tried to be there even when she didnt want me it just hurted.

now i am so tired and im preparing to leave the house because i cant do it anymore, although i would hate to leave my younger siblings with my mom. and i think i will give up trying to mend our relationship, because i thought she could change but its becoming to much and i cant be here. i know i should not have stopped speaking with her and i regret it, but i feel like my efforts over the years should be acknowledged too.

and i just need to know am i a bad person for feeling this way? should i even keep trying?

What are these acronyms?

[familyofpaladins]

(From a post talking about how I make an au everytime I watch another movie)

Oh you're spoiling me @sonderquill by indulging me in my au's. Also careful what you wish for lol

Okay heres a list of different Tmnt Au's that I've made in my head!! :D

Princess bride au

My own tmnt iteration au =Youngest leo (and oldest Mikey, but I tend to focus on leo)

Turtleverse - not so much an au as.... a big ol crossover and filling in some gaps from canon

Pacific rim au- I was actually gonna do a tmaynt promt with this au, but I skipped it because it was giving me trouble but I might come back to it

Treasure planet/island au - set in space like treasure planet but I pull in a bit more of the plot/events from the book

brother bear au - setting and details a little iffy

Looking through my notes to double check my Au's, I apparently also had a pokemon au, but I dont really remember where I was going with it lol

And now, Princess and the frog turtle au

Longer descriptions under the cut because uh. It got long lol (most of these are personality and character based from 2003 series, but could also be from other series/general/non specific iteration as well)

Princess bride au and Youngest Leo Au have links to their own posts so I'm not gonna say much more about them on this post

Turtleverse- So this is .... mostly just a place for all the iterations to hang out and meet each other. Kinda like the place in Across the Spiderverse. Theres not much for plot, except. The turtle in charge of everything in the turtle verse is the Donatello who disappeared in Same as it Never Was (2003 series). In this au, that Don was experimenting with alternate dimensions and time travel and accidentally sent himself to another dimension. Because of where ever he was sent, it takes him a while to travel through dimensions and then spends years hopping from universe to universe trying to find home. But because of [science stuff that I'm going to blame on quantum physic even though that's probably not the right term] his body isnt tuned to his home dimension anymore, and so if he ever made it back he wouldnt be able to stay there. And/or by the time he makes it back the events of same as it never was have already happened. So instead, he "maps" out the other turtle universes and allows crossovers to happen and a big ole hang out. (Like I said before, theres not really a Plot, but if there was, itd would probably have somethign to do with Don being A Bit controlling of the different universes and them not messing with Canon Events (like Manuel in Spiderverse), because he knows 03 Don made it to his home dimension, and while 03 Don got his brothers tow work together and defeat shredder, Don's brothers died and SAINW Don holds that against 03 Don and dosnt want other turtles interfering with other universes. So the plot would be addressing... all that while probably also dealing with some other interdimensionalproblem)

Pacific Rim au- like I said, I hope to draw of this and explain it more there. But I'll go ahead and give a run down. This is a human au. The bros are 4 identical brothers that pilot the only four man jaeger. They can also pilot a normal two man jaeger in any combination. But one day when a kaiju that comes out of the rift is more powerful than they expect, it tears into their jaeger and Donnie gets ripped out. After they get their damaged jaeger back to shore and injuries taken care of. They search for Donnie but never find him and (logically) assume he died. What they dont know is that donnie miraculously made it to shore and got picked up by some locals. But Don got a head injury and doesnt remember who he is and no one else realizes that he's the jaeger pilot who was lost at sea. (The bros are fairly private and so their faces arent publicized, and after people from the jaeger program looked for donnie, they really figured he was gone ((okay actually there is debate between the brothers)) so they didnt keep up the search.) As for Donnie, he assumes he's just a person whose home was destroyed by the kaiju and that theres just no one left to look for him. A man that goes by the nickname Leatherhead, takes him in and as the years go by the work on building the wall to protect against kaiju attacks (Don does his own research on the kaiju on the side tho). Anyway. After Don is gone, they cant pilot the 4man jaeger anymore and work in teams of two. But because of disagreements about Don's fate (like how they argued in SAINW) they dont work quite as well together. So Raph and Casey are drift compatible . And Leo and Usagi are Drift compatible. Mikey probably Could drift with others (if I wanted to bring in Mondo gecko into the au theyd be drift compatible), but he's trying to make sure his bros stay together and works with them.

BUT. Mikey hurt his arm during a fight. (Maybe just broken, maybe loses it if I want to lean into the SAINW parallel) So he's benched for a while. With all the gossip of the 4 drift compatible brothers losing a member and getting new drift partners eventually photos of their faces get out there. Someone who works on the wall keeps up with jaeger pilot gossip and thinks, "hey that guy kinda looks like those pilots. Guess the jaeger program really is going to shit if one is retiring to work on the wall" and maybe jokes about it with others. Eventually a rumor starts that theres a retired jaeger pilot working there. Don, who is probably going by a different name but I havent decided what yet, doesnt pay much attention to rumors and if he Does here, absolutely doesn't think it's about him. He doesnt pay much attention to the jaegers and focuses more on the kaiju themselves. Anyway, Mikey ends up hearing the rumor (because he's bored when benched and so goes out and wanders and also is secretly working on rebuilding their 4man jaeger) and goes "well it's not me, and I know it's not Raph or Leo... ". So trying to keep his hope down in case it's not what he thinks, (because really, it's been 5 years. If it was donnie he would have come home. Right?) He goes to see who this look a like is. He goes to where the wall is being built and looks around for a while and is about to call it quits when he bumps into someone. Don does a double take at the person he bumped into because he was looking at his notes instead of where he was walking. Realizes he's probably in the way and apologizes and goes to walk around. Then Mikey, who was so stunned to suddenly run into his brother (who he knows is donnie. Even with the scar he can see peaking out underneath his hair on his temple) who has been Gone for Five Years. He stops Don and questions where he's been. Don is very confused doesnt know what to make of this person who looks such like him. Eventually they put it together that don has lost his memories and Mikey begs Don to come back with him. Don isn't really sure what to think, (could this really be his brother?), he doesn't know this guy and doesnt know if he believes the "yeah I'm your brother and you have 2 more identical brothers as well" and he has been gathering impressive data on the kaiju that he doesnt want to abandon. So mike goes, come see my brothers and you'll see and if nothing else, you can conduct proper research with other scientist there. So don says yes. (But really. After just a minute of talking with mikey, Don would have gone back with him because he could Feel a connection and he Has to figure out the truth of what happened to him). Anyway they go back, Don meets his other missing brothers, theres crying and hugs and apologies and awkwardness. They do a drift at some point and Thats what brings back all of Don's memories. Something something they end up saving the day. I havent thought much plot past the bros reuniting lol

(God that was long. sorry)

Treasure planet/island au- setting is in space like Treasureplanet, so the boys are turtles. But some plot/events and character roles taken from the book. Splinter and the bros help run an inn. Theyve all grown up hearing stories of the Pirate Krang and his hidden treasure. Someone comes to the inn with a map (I'm thinking baxter stockman. Possibly in this weird brain/tentacle form since this is space and I can use his weirder forms) and other pirates pancake the inn and burn it down with the bros barely escaping with the map. Casey is a friend of the family and they go to his house. Leatherhead is a doctor/scientist and was with the turtles at the time. Mikey and/or Don are messing with the map and are the ones to figure out how to open it. Once they realize they have Krang's Treasure Map, they set out to find it. Casey and leatherhead hire the crew. Leatherhead hires the well renown Captain April O'Neil with firstmate Traximus the triceraton. Casey hired the cook and his daughter who helped hire the rest of the crew. Oroku Saki is an utrom in an exo-suit "with a passion for cooking". His adopted daughter Karai is an excellent sailor. :) Anyway they set sail. April knows soemthign is up with the crew and doesnt trust them one bit. The turtles are slightly suspicious of Saki, but mikey likes cooking with him, Don is fascinated by his exo-suit, and Leo likes training with Karai, and is charmed by Saki's "Honor". Raph doesnt trust them at all, but has no proof for anything and his brothers seem okay with them so he keeps his temper down (as much as he can. He's raph tho lol) anyway. Leo (and mikey maybe?) eventually overhear Shredders real plans to create a mutant and take over the ship. The rest of the events are a little unplanned because it's a mix of book events and movie events and I didnt write down everything that I apparently originally thought of. But two of the brothers (originally wrote down Mikey and Raph but that might change) sneak off the ship to join the pirates pretending to think that they are still good loyal crew. They get away from the pirates and meet The Fugitoid, Professor Hunnicut, former navigator for the Pirate Captain Krang. Later 2 of the other turtle brothers (maybe leo and don?) Are trying to get the main ship back and have a epic fight with ... someone. Maybe hun or bishop and/or Karai. Idk. Like I said. Iffy plot points. Karai is the one who has a change of heart and helps the brothers. Also the pirates may not be after treasure so much as, say, a giant portal that can take them across the galaxy in the blink of an eye. Fugitoid may or may not have actually been the one to booby trap the planet so no one could use the technology again for evil.

Brother bear au- setting would probably change. but idk to what/where exactly. The brothers, when reach a certain age are given totems/amulets/soemthing(depends on setting) with a certain trait. Leo the oldest gets Guidance. Don second oldest gets Wisdom. And raph is supposed to get his. he gets Love. Gets mad about the animal he gets. (I havent fully decided if I'm sticking with the whole turning into a Bear thing and giving the eagle and wolf to leo and don. Or to turn raph into a turtle demon(like the ones from the ninja tribunal arc) because then I'm not sure what animal/creature to give to the rest of the brothers. Anyway). Mikey is the youngest and hasnt recieved his yet. things happen, Raph goes a bear/turtle monster and Leo does saving his brothers (I'm sorry leo 😭). Raph decides to go after the "monster" again, despite Don and mikey telling him not to. Raph goes out, kills it, and gets turned into said creature. Donnie who had followed after Rpah thinks his other brother has now died as well and decides he need to go after it as well. Mikey may or may not join him (I havent decided). Raph meets a young one along the way, and while I was originally thinking Tyler(? From lone raph and cub 2003) I think this would be a good spot for Spike/Slash. (I could also change it that mikey is the kid he picks up along the way, it could work. but I also like the idea of the 4 of them actually being brothers the whole time) anyway. travel shenanigans and raph realizing that the "monsters" arent monsters meanwhile Don is having A Time following the creature who killed two of his brothers.

Pokemon au- I'm just gonna screenshot what I have in my notes because I dont really remember where I was going with it lol

And then the newest addition to the Au's and what prompted that other post

Princess and the frog, I mean turtle- theres so many different ways I could go with this. But I think I'm leaning towards an au where, somehow, at least one of the brothers (who are mutant turtles) gets cursed into a normal turtle (because I think its funny). They're all trying to figure out how to break the spell/curse. They find April and think she is a princess whose kiss will break the spell, but she's not a real princess and ends up cursed too. So then they're ALL trying to figure out how to fix it. Havent decided if it's the situation from some of the original stories where the frog has to eat off the princess's plate three times, or kissed by a princess or "true loves kiss". But if it is the true loves kiss, I'm going the Platonic Love is just as true love as romantic love route.

This one hasnt been cooking in my mind as long so it's not as detailed, but I do like the idea of the turtles and april helping each other try to reverse the curse. (It could also be that casey and/or april got cursed originally and the turtles are there to help them find a solution. Or it could be that the brothers are supposed to be human and got turned into turtles/or turtle mutant)

So yeah, theres the different Tmnt Au's I have :)

[carletes]

🎃 Trick or treat! 🍬

One hell of a treat because I love you so much. KIND OF spoilers for TSOR sequel but not really—religious lore. This is my transcription of my voice note to Martina.

QUESTION: if the goddess is so powerful, why is it so important that there's somebody who keeps trying to undermine her? who is this person and why? what have they figured out? it's kind of an existential thing; it turns out that the goddess, to remain powerful and to remain a goddess, needs belief to back up her power. she needs people to believe in her. initially, the idea of the heresy was that if people believe she's dead, it might harm her in some way. but i also think it's the same thing if the people don't care if she's alive or dead, but simply think she's not powerful (EVEN IF THAT MEANS THERE IS SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL THAN HER!). she needs QUALITY in belief. she's a reflection of the hopes people put in her. charles' power to protect people isn't just somethign she gives him, it's what HE believes of HER that informs the power he gets. the leclercs and goddess therefore have a symbiotic relationship where they're informed by what the other thinks of them. so the sitting leclerc, what they think of the goddess, makes the goddess. the unknowable one doesn't care about this because they ARE the universe, they ARE the march of time, that doesn't need belief (as far as we're aware), it doesn't need anything, it just continues. so overtime, the implication is, maybe there WAS somebody other than the goddess. there's always two: there's the inexorable march of time, and then there's some other deity. and the goddess is what we have at present. so this person who's challenging her is challenging the notion that the goddess is insufficient. that is the harm, that is why the unknowable one is so pissed—THEY FOR THE FIRST TIME are actually invested in a deity, and they hate injustice in that sense. so they're pissed that someone is challenging the goddess, and that's why they chose lando and blanca—future rulers of these two really important realms—as recipients of their blessing. the whole theme of protection becomes really crucial to the entire story. carlos sees himself as THE protector. pierre sees himself as charles' protector. lando sees himself as anglosax's protector. so this combined understanding of their roles ends up inspiring what the goddess is: a protector. and i think it even informs how the unknowable one thinks of the goddess, because maybe they're a sum total of the world's perception of the place and time they are in. the real risk of this person, who is claiming to be a better alternative to the goddess, who claims that the goddess brings disorder, because if enough people believe that the goddess brings disorder, then she risks becoming disorder. at one point, as this unfolds, there's this dialogue between charles and pierre:

charles, in his lowest moment: what if this means that the goddess isn't even real, if the goddess is what i think of her, does that mean she's not real, she doesn't stand on her own? what do you believe in?

pierre: i believe in you, and that's enough for me.

and that's literally the idea: the goddess is what we make of her, and that gives charles the strength to continue, which strengthens the goddess in turn.

something something the leclercs were chosen because the goddess saw in them such total devotion to each other, caregiving of the land, of each other, and that is the spark she had that resonated in her too. she wanted to be them in her inchoate form.

oh my god ok yes the unknowable one was LONELY. they wanted someone to love. they felt so distant from the people for whom they were just the backdrop. they worshipped them but without the kind of intimacy that was needed. they had to be mysterious, aloof—but they wanted company. so they created the goddess from the stars and asked her what she wanted to be, and she chose our world and watched and she caught the attention of the leclercs and she wanted to be like them, so she gave them her stars.

[fruit-salad-ship]

Pirate AU, captain Plum getting so angry at Peach, so stupidly furious, maybe she withheld information, maybe she did somethign dangerous and stupid, maybe she chased a ghost and endangered the crew, or just...was so dimissive to her own existence it just finally got to her, maybe she'd spent too long drowning her sorrows and being useless. Whatever caused it, Plum starts to throw her weight around as a leader. Kicks her second in command her sword, Peach doesnt even carry it most days, whats the point? She wont die if she's caught without it. So she sees it being presented, eyeing the captain from where she sits.

"Pick it up." Plums dead serious, Peach ignores her, she says it again, louder, angrier. the second time was not a request at all, so with a sluggish stagger peach gets up, picks her sword up, it is not in the best condition, she'd fix that but cant be bothered. It doesnt matter to her one way or another.

She instinctivley blocks an incoming attack, Plum is so mad, venting her anger at this woman through practice, or...maybe this isnt practice? She's attacking with real intent, perhaps a good fight would knock some sense into Peach. The woman seems only half heartedly bothering to defend, she doesnt fight back in any way, slowly being backed up to a mast, ducking to not get hit in the side, plums blade dinking off the wooden trunk.

This goes on for a while, with each lazy movement Plum becomes more furious, how is she putting so little effort into this and coming out unscathed? It dawns on her that if Peach was to fight back, would she have the clear advantage she thought she originally posessed? Plum thought she was the more refined and skilled fighter but...this womans wasting her potential.

Peach grows bored of the back and forth, instead of dodging, taking the hit. People tended to stop attacking soon after that. In a real fight she'd fake her death and get up after a minute of pretending to get back and protect whoever needs it. Plum however knows this tactic, she cant fake her death, the sword in her shoulder hurts, shes immortal, not immune to pain, grabbign it by the blade and pushing it back out of her, an act that unsettles plum, seeing the womans hand cut as she didnt struggle to remove her sword. No slowing, no time to think, plum takes another quick move to land another hit.

Theyre nose to nose, blade through this womans torso, poking out the other side. Of course Peach cries out from the sting of it, gutteral response, but it subsides, she can ignore it and focus on the captain, glaring up at her with such rage in her eyes.

"You done?" a raised eyebrow and calm demeanour from the old pirate. "Fight back." Plum wanted to see what was lurking on this ship, what she'd hired, irritated still from earlier. "You dont want that, just let me go back to my drink." Peach eyed the bottle stood on a barrel not too far away, just wanting a peaceful watch on deck. "No. You need to care. You need to do more than defend, I need a second in command who'll activley try to live, to survive, not just be a walking pin cushion and hope to die every time you take a hit."

This was stupid, the slight twist of the blade in peach's gut a threat, Plum felt guilt, she shoudlnt have been doing this, knew it hurt her, but would never kill. The irrittion that this idiot, this woman who could do so much, would just simply choose to do nothing instead got to her however.

"I'm not fighting you."

"Why not?!" Plums sword slid out and she took another agile swing, slicing through the womans shoulder, she didn teven try to move away from it.

"Because theres no point. You'll lose, all the skill in the world wont end me, its a fruitless task." And truth be told, Peach wouldnt raise a blade to her, couldnt even, unsure why, just...couldnt bare to fight her properly, fully aware of the horrors she'd enacted on foe in the past, no friend deserves that.

"So you only act when its too late? Only do something when youve already lost." At such close proximity Plum was able to glare at her, and for a brief moment, Peach felt something she'd not had in her for a while. Rage. Not more than four days prior to this she'd mentioned the past, her wife, the way she got revenge for what happened. It felt like...Plum was calling her out for that. For not doing enough then, as if what happened was her fault. While to some degree she agreed, the fact that someone would think she'd not fight tooth and nail to protect what she loved sunk in, a second or two ticking by as the fury started to collect.

Some small fragment of her old self started to surface, instead of pulling her body off the blade, taking one hand and shoving her opponent hard, sword going with her, freeing Peach and giving them a meters grace, space to adjust.

For the first time, Plum felt a little fear because of this woman, watching her straighten up, stop slouching, hold her sword properly, but more than anything, it was her eyes, they looked dark and menacing now, not tired or dismissive like before.

"I need to see that you dont let disaster hit before you do something. The crew need a second in command who cares wether they live or die. I need you to show me you have any real fight in you left, because right now, you look like youve given up." Peach was drunk, her shirt now had some holes in it, a small amount of blood on her person, wounds already healing up, sticthing back together, realising she'd not instilled any faith in anyone here since arriving.

"Fine. Have it your way." That deep seated anger started to rattle around in her, for the first time during this exchange, taking a step forward instead of simply defending. Plum did all she could to stop what happened next. The swing of that chipped old blade was so heavy it broke through her defence, staggering her back quickly, Peach's pace refusing to faulter, closing the gap steadily, as if fully in control, it was daunting, she didnt flinch to block the striked plum threw, eyes set ahead. "This is what you wanted right?" another solid hit had to be dodged, not blocked, there was no way Plum could handle another stagger like that. Their fight was brief. within five hits, the old and in places rusted weapon wrapped itself in such a way around the captains pristeen rapier, a moment where peach flinged the sword across the deck, clattering as she took one strike to threaten.

Plum felt a sting on her cheek, a thin line of red starting to appear, such a controlled strike that it only scratched her, looking up to see the looming threat standing close. "Dont you dare think that I wouldnt act before its too late. Thats...not what happened before."

It was suddenly apparent how this woman gained such a reputation, not once since she'd joined the ship had Plum seen it, never seen her do more than the bare minimum. The sword was sheathed, and Peach turned, grabbing the bottle she'd been forced to leave, leading her way off up the other end of the ship to be alone.

At least the captain knew now just what she was working with, and it frightened her a little.

[marsoid]

bulk answering asks

bc i let them pile up OOPS

@booblampoo asked:

You, your comics, your characters and story, have helped me accept a lot of who I am which wasn’t able to do before. Thx for doin what you do and for as long you it enriches you please keep doin it.

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 thank YOU for the support!!

@lethesbeastie asked:

Just wanted to say that your art and comic work is a huge inspiration for me, and that I always love seeing your work!! I hope you have a wonderful day!!

wah thank you, you too!!

@gribochekzhenka asked:

Hi. I really love your comic "long exposure"! I love Mitch, we are very similar in character and behavior. And I love Jonathan, he's very cute! You are the best artist I know! My girlfriend and I really like to read your work. I'm sorry, I don't speak English well... But I really want to say that you and your comics are fucking awesome!💗

hehe jonathan THANK YOU i appreciate it!

@kingdom-falls asked:

I just received my package for the Long Exposure hardcover+goodies, and I just wanted to say how awesome they all are!!! I especially love the pin since it rotates perfectly! The hardcover is DEFINITELY getting the spot of honor on my bookshelf!

aw YAY i’m so glad they got to you safely!!!!

@sharkface-daydreams asked:

i just got my copy of Long Exposure in the mail and I'm so excited!!! I love having a copy of this lovely comic to hold in my hands it means a lot to me 🥺💜

NICE I’M GLAD!!! 💕💕

@nightsistcrs asked:

hey there! i just binge-read all of long exposure and i really love it! in one of the chapters i saw an ad for a nsfw zine, but i can’t actually find the link anywhere. is it still on sale? thanks!

the NSFW LE zine Dong Exposure was a kickstarter add-on and no longer available, sorry abt that!! if it does come back i’ll say somethin tho

@spooky-stockmarkets asked:

Will your gay wrath and the choke shirts ever go back on sale? I was looking to buy some merch off your store, but they mostly seem to be out of stock. :(((

(Love ur work btw)

agh yea i have a lot of stuff that’s out of stock rn. working to get more things added soon tho! sorry for the inconvenience!!

@lea-fy asked:

your bowser is so (animal noises) and im just wondering if u would ever draw him again. not to save humanity or anything but yeah somethign like that

HA maybe i will........ if my will to draw ever comes back from the war.........

@spookylostboy asked:

I know the physical copies of Long Exposure were from your kickstarter, and I wanted to ask if they’d be available to buy? Or were they solely a kickstarter bonus? No pressure to answer! Twas just curious :]

they’ll be up in my shop hopefully this summer!!

@fou-and-foue asked:

how does it feel to have your comic out and about as a physical product that people read and buy and own and love <333

pretty dang coollllll

@algernonsbouqet asked:

HI I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE YOUR COMICS AND STYLE THEYVE GOT SO MUCH LIFE AND PERSONALITY IN THEM 💞💞💞 YOURE AWESOME HAVE A GOOD DAY

HEY THANK YOU!!!! 💞💞

[fumikomiyasaki]

For the wrong wedding ( okay no angst but chaos and maybe reverse-)

Chizuko and Flynn ( an abduction by force )

Cattleya and Louis ( kidnapped I think- demon ma'am looks angry at the bride for stealing )

Cattleya Eye Reveal:

I Object! I have counted this as the boys get stolen from what I got from this so

He was tired... usually it was hard to catch him like that, especially cause he was used to fleeing and getting away... now he was here... caged in chains in a fancy suit... trapped by a crazy woman who wanted to always marry a "Vampire." Not noticing that Flynn never was one but only acted as one... and now forced to a marriage altar thanks to her... for the first he felt a bit of regret... after all he wanted to save himself up for his precious Onyx... he wanted to lead her down the aisle in a pretty dress... and as he went to this fantasy in his head, suddenly the door bursted open and some people rolled him down the wedding location... what was his best action... just to distract them with entertainment and hope to flee.. there was not many options with all of the people being on "her" Side.

Arriving at the altar and hearing the priest talk his head started to spin and the voices in his head mocked him... untill he suddenly heard the sound of breaking glass about him... somebody broke through the glass mural... and stood before him in a blood stained red dress... his dear Onyx.

"You have got the wrong bride.... because I am here to take the count back where he belongs."

He noticed she was emberassed acting that way but did it for his sake. As he played along.

"It is true, i was promised to this beautiful gem,so you can't wed me... I am a shamefull man If I seemed like you had a chance-"

"What are you doing just staring, get her!"

"You really want to marry him in such a tacky dress... well then... you have to go through me."

The rest of what happened Flynn blanked out cause of his voices... all he know he woke up to a tons of blood on his suit... Chizukos dress dyed as well and her holding him in his arms.

"You really are an idiot."

"I am sorry Onyx... I will promise to be less reckless."

She still punched him on the chest... deserved really... but despite the horrid scenery around him... there was somethign calming and beautifull about holding his dear Onyx like that... he was truely glad he had her... and one day he wants to see her in a dress like this... just not stained in blood.

In actuality he was just waiting cause he got a ton of things for Cattleya as he promised... but eventually some demons took interest in the handsome young service and his pure appreance... to the case of one group taking him away to a woman who fell in love at first glance... wanting to make him hers fully.

And so he was wrapped up in this make shift wedding that freaked him out a lot. Seeing so many different demons just not caring about what he actually wants... while this demon lady just eyes him like a love crazy fool... how could he get out of this... his screaming wasn't heard... yet suddenly the room felt dark and silent... many turned to the door behind him.

He was surprised because for sure he recognized it was his dearest but... he rarely saw her showing her eyes if at all. Cattleyas glare was almost deadly at the bride.

"This wedding is canceled."

"Its her this is not good."

"What are we gonna do, we upset her."

Many were quite, even the bride was shook to the core seeing her approach and undo Louis ties.

"This one is mine... and I will not let anyone take him, keep that a warning for the future."

Nobody dared to object or lay a finger on them.... as they got out of the venue he quickly wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you so much... I owe you my whole life... as well as I promised it before I will serve you for all eternity."

"That is what I wanted to hear... for now lets get back and let you take a breather from the shock... we have some things to discuss later."

Her tone towards him was far more calmer... he barely felt any of the fear the others felt... just admiration and moreso... he fell for her even more that day... his promise was true... he would dedicate his life to her only to be with her... and that promise he wanted to keep in mind.

[valkyurii]

hey man I saw your post talking abt ur current feelings regarding life and even if we don't really know each other I'm gonna try to at least lend a helping hand,, even if you don't think youre super cool or youre boring or somethign your friends will see differently if theure good friends-theyll notice things you refuse to see in yourself, i get it to some degree i dont find myself all that interesting either but the odd thing is other people are really good about picking out details about you that you cna just outright not/can't acknowledge-your friends should enjoy your company even if you don't get quite why, if they say youre funny then chances are they really mean it sorry if this is a little incoherent or not reallly helpful i hope you feel better soon regardless it can be really rough sometimes

Thank you anon, I appreciate the message. I guess you’re right only it’s kind of hard to believe at times. My head just won’t let me believe it I’m afraid. This is how I’ve always been so it’s hard to change at this point

[bunbunpawz]

Introduction , I think?

Hello,  Pleasure to meet you, pleasure to see you again if you’re here not for the first time. I am a Jirai Kei girl, with a postivie twist.  I dress Jirai kei, and head out to kabukichou for fun. I don’t really do anything bad (unless you’re one of the people that consideres a half a can of strong zero once in a blue moon to be bad) I try to keep most of my life private, but also share my thoughts. Most of my posts are just me rambling about things I thought about and want to get out there for myself to remember later. I never thought anyone would see my posts but I have somehow gotten followers, and people thanking me once in a while for a post or for my positive approach.  well, I say positive, but it’s more like a not negative? I am very cynical, but I don’t particualrly intend to drag anyone down with me into negativity. I think everyone has plenty of that themselves already.  I was born in ukraine, but migrated to another country at a young age where I had experienced war since I can remember. I also never got to not be a forigner.  No matter where I go I am a minority or a forginer.  I am not native to English, so excuse me if I make mistakes.  I am also a fast typer so I don’t always notice things here and there. I probably have sever depression, but due to circumstances I never got diagnosed with it, therefore I cannot announce it as a fact, even though It is pretty clear. What I have been diagnosed however, Is Avoidant Personality Disorder. No, it does not mean I am A social. Just scared of the world, and people. I am ace, and due to reasons above, and probably plenty others, I have a hard time connecting to people, let alone doing somethign as intimate as dating. Most of the time I am stuck alone with my thoughts. These thougths are what I tend to put out here. occasionally I will talk about Jirai kei, and things revolving around it. I took Jirai Kei as my coping machanism. I don’t drink, smoke or do much things people tend to do to deal with stress, so I think putting my frustrations into a style isn’t very harmful. I just find a connection to like minded people through wearing similar fashion. I don’t encourge any behaviors, but I also will not radically shame you for your coping habits, unless they are harming someone.  My biggest dislike is when someone bothers someone else, and causes them genuine discomfort for no reason, like bullying, or smoking near them when they are clearly appauled by it. I do not find it shameful to have mental issues, and physical signs of it on your body. I feel the need to mention this as one of the most comment things I get told is that jirai kei promotes self harm. I think this is false, I think jirai kei accepts people that self harm and not cause it. It welcomes people and says , it’s okay. even if you have scars you can still wear cute clothes. I don’t have a lot of money, so I can’t afford the cool brands and pretty things. But I try my best to take jirai kei pictures and collect clothes and items, slowly. I also try and help others understand the world of jirai kei from my perspective. Some people come to my page to tell me Jirai Kei is not a real fashion style.  It’s just a slur. And that westerners have taken it and made it into a thing. But the irony of this statement is that, if westerners made it into a thing, then it is now a thing. It has become real. For all of you out there, that DM me that they are jirai kei but cannot come out as jirai kei due to all the hate. Do what makes you happy. Nobody can decide for you how to feel, you can only feel for yourself, and if this makes you happy, and doesn’t harm anyone, then it is not something to be shameful. Come I welcome you into the world of Jirai Kei. And if you’re interested in my thoughts, I hope I have something worth hearing for you to see.  And if you want to tell me something or express something to me, please do! I never know what people think, or if they even see my posts or want to see my posts until they say something. Don’t be shy give it a try :)  Thank you for your support

[strawberry-peach]

Ok I think im gonna dump all my feelings in here because i just dont have anyone to talk to and as much as the finale itself made me sad and a little bit upset, ive also seen comments that added to that and i just need to let this out somehow. if you happen to read this and dont agree... ok, fair, but just let me be please.

so yeah, by now i can admit that the finale was not great but also not awful. at first i accepted it and forced myself to be ok with it but then i just got angry and that doesnt feel good either. The thing is, i thought the beginning going thru Ted just glossing over his impending leaving with flat reactions and little to no talk about it felt strange, and i truly truly believed it meant he was either doubting his decision of something was up. As the ep progressed i started believeng more and more that he really didnt want to leave, and this is where i stand now. I really think he didnt want to leave all behind, and for a moment i thought they would do somethign about it, or maybe just imply a change of heart or the possibility of a turn around, doubts back in Kansas, the oportunity to go back to take his boy, anything. But he just left and that was it.

In the end, and as we know, Henry comes first. He always did. And I knew this and I actually love this, you know that I do. Ted and Henry's relationship was a priority for me too. So I fully understood his need to go back to his boy, his need to be with him, to be more present in the way he felt they both needed. The idea of his kid feeling left behind or abandoned probably haunted him as much as the idea of his kid leaving him. And both those things probably felt exponentially more likely with him living thousands of miles away.

The thing is that it broke my heart that he thought he had to leave everything else behind to fix that, that all the alternative options aviable to him, to them, the offer Rebecca made him for fucks sake, all of that was not worth trying. That him trying to keep some of all that happiness he had found was not worth it if it meant demanding a possible sacrifice from Henry's (and/or Michelle's) part. His new home was not worth keeping in the face of threatening the stability of Henry's.

I felt, in the end, that all of his flat reactions, his disconnectedness, his detachment, his emotional absence, his disregard of other's pleadings, his un-Tedness, whatever you want to call it, it all came down to him shutting his doors down in order to get through it. He went to the opposite of his usual coping mechanism. Because he felt he had to go back to Henry, no in-betweens, and he couldn't afford to be swayed to do anything but. He dropped everything, his newfound call, his success, his potential, his place of belonging, his friends, his new family, Beard himself ffs. All of it, there was nothing he wouldn't let go of if he had to in order to go back to his kid. Maybe he thought everyone would get over him soon enough, maybe he thought his job was done and that was enough for everyone, maybe he didn't allow himself to think of it or he would realize his decision could hurt people who cared for him. Thing is his own happiness outside of Henry was not worth it enough for him to ask for a middle ground, apparently. And that sucks.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but you know me, I love my faves more than I should and I love Ted with all my heart. So what the fuck do I know really?

Outside my heartache over Ted's finale, there are other things that I did not vibe with. For instance Beard staying with Jane. I was really really hoping that wouldn't be the case. But you know what, that weird ass cgi wedding looking like a fever dream gives me hope. It never happened.

Also Dutch guy? Of all the weird sloppy endings they could have given Rebecca, this one took the cake. What the actual fuck man? And the fact that she bumps into him like a fairytale meetcute right after she's wrecked by saying good bye to Ted? Just like that? Missed me with that. She deserved better than that. Do I mean Ted? Not necessarily, no, even though of all the options we had through the show, Ted was absolutely the best for her. But it just felt so taped on, like a last minute fix.

I also really wish we could have had more of Nate and Ted talking things out. I just think both of them deserved to let things out and reach proper closure. The things that went between them were important, they were worth being properly adressed. The pain they both went through because they care a lot for each other... Man. I appreciate that Nate made Ted listen to his apology at least, even if it was just that. Because I felt he was being his checked out self then and both Ted and Nate deserved to have that said out loud, so thank you Nate for that.

The weird Roy and Jamie thing? Yeah... I guess it was supposed to be a moment of levity? I don't know. I understand that it was a moment of regression for both of them, a step back of the work they had done through the season, it just felt a bit too close to the end, you know? Like had this had happened before we could have had a sense of it being worked out again, but now? It leaves me with the feeling that we are still very much in a volatile area. Especially after last ep? Idk, weird.

And finally, why was Jake still in the picture? That guy should have been gone long ago. I mean don't even get me started on all that crap, there are so many nos in that line of story. I just want him gone. Appreciate Henry's nonexistent rapport with him, love that he was so clearly done with the dude. That's my boy.

I think that's all the bad I can think of. It sounds like a lot and not that much at the same time. Like it's what five, six things, but some feel so so off. I loved the rest, as rushed as it felt for me, it was nice. Loved the match, loved the BELIEVE sign moment, loved Ted doing his little dance, loved Trent sharing his work and being so eager for feedback, loved Roy stepping into the Diamond Dogs and trying therapy, loved Keeley growing his bussines again, loved the callbacks (us-ie guy!), Isaac's penalty goal, Colling getting to kiss his fella, Thierry being Zorro, Nate and his box omg, the newly fixed BELIEVE sign! So so many things to love, but so much unfairness and bitterness too.

Anyway, I'll stop the ranting. I'm probably forgeting to mention something or missing a point here or there. This is just feelings vomit. And just saying that the last part, where so much of the what-the-fuck-ness is condensed, felt so fucking weird and out of left field, I am waiting for them to announce it was a joke, or a s4 or spinoff or special ep or that it was all Ted's dream in the plane... I'm waiting.

Do you hear me Jason&co? I am waiting.