#but i have now gone everywhere *I* know of
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I think if any characters were married it would be poe and ranpo.
#accident? purposeful? yes#ranpo would have gotten fukuzawa to procure the paperwork for a partner license and poe would sign it whilst in the middle of writing#they would have gone to the office gotten it filed with suspicious haste and efficience#(and later when poe finds out he'll wonder how they got it done when he's a foreigner)#i like to think that now that ranpo has poe he can now travel the world (lord knows fukuzawa wasn't going to deal with that)#he gets jobs everywhere though he prefers to stay home#one day he gets a job in america and convinces poe to take him#poe is apprehensive#ranpo never accepts jobs there#a week later poe finds himself in another office with more paperwork and the beginnings of a marriage license#ranpo whose only job at this point is to sign smiles cheekily#marriage headcanons#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo sd#ranpoe#my archive
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#over three weeks now since hes gone#sometimes ill hear a noise and think. ah well there he is. ofc hed be back he wouldnt just leave me like that#like a specific way the wood would creek when hed jump up to his favourite sleeping place. the way his paws sounded against the glass door#the floor when he made his lil tap tap tap walk across the hall.#still haven't put away his boxies or his lil things or his bowls.#i still talk to him like hes lying just out of eyesight in his favourite boxie#we always did my puzzles together (i did the puzzle and he ruined it) and we just started one a few days before he. well.#i miss him all the time everywhere#cant stop crying. but like the curling up on the floor weeping type.#its like missing a limb or part of ur soul lol#collecting his fur like its treasure but then the realisation comes that thats it. thats all ill ever have of him now.#for the rest of my life. just this#and then we're back on the floor weeping lol#but i bought a locket to put some of it in so hes always with me still.#anyway. SUICIDE#bb boy#txt.me#u know the spiel. lets not talk about it i just needed to type it out#bb baby
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Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??
But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!
But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?
#stoned ramblings#life of faye#i swear I'm not as sad right now as this makes me sound just kinda lonely is all#work bonus#boss also said that if i wanted to take on more responsibility we could talk raises as well#and like most days I'm done by like 1 so it's not like I'm wildly overworked as it is#I'm going to set some aside for fun stuff and the rest is going in my savings#i am finally FINALLY trying to build up a savings again#it's probably a silly dream but I still want to save up for a house#so what else can i do but try and save?#rent's gone up so damned much everywhere that for somewhere halfway decent it costs about as a mortgage to rent anyway#the only reason my rent is semi-managable is because I've been here for 8 damn years so they haven't been able to drive it up as much#other apartments here start at hundreds more per month for new tenants#so i feel like I'm stuck here until i can afford a place#my one real hope is that I inherit enough from my midwest grandma when she passes to make a good down payment somewhere#sometimes to torture myself I like to go look at houses that I think are in my approximate realistic price range if i could cover the down#i want a yard for velma#i want to be able to open my blinds and/or windows and not feel like a whole apartment complex's worth of people can see me#i want a kitchen where all the burners work and I have enough counter space to work#i want a dryer system where my apartment doesn't get filled with warm wet air when the neighbors are doing their laundry#i want to do nude gardening#and have backyard bbqs with friends#i want enough dedicated space to do art that i don't constantly have to shuttle the easel around the living room and up and down the stairs#all pipe dreams i know#but hey the grandma did say that i was one of her three main inheritors in the will#so we'll see#just to be clear she has not passed but she's nearing 90 and keeps talking about it so it's hard not to think about you know?#anyway these are the sorts of things that i would talk about if I had someone to cuddle on the couch and talk to about my day#texts to nobody
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How many silly hobbies can Seras pick up? That answer is between me and god ❤️
#hellsing#hellsing ultimate#seras victoria#integra hellsing#sertegra#a#(that’s a lie the answer already exists it’s infinite she’s got forever she gets to do whatever)#this brain can fit sooo many ways for one of them to just stare lovingly at the other while they talk#there’s no way if those cats were allowed into hellsing manor that they would stay in seras’s room. my reasoning? no sunbeams to lounge in#do you know what room at least has the capacity to have sunbeams? everywhere else. those cats are now business partners#like yeah they’re probably mainly sleeping but like if seras is gone there’s now cats to keep integra company wooooowowowowowoow#fun fact: I’ve no fucking clue how cats work idk cat lore I tried reading warriors as a kid but got bored (I liked the maps though)#I was really good at doing webkinz warrior cats rp though my friend was always the medicine cat and I was a warrior#gay man lesbian solidarity Really Truly at its finest
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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags#but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes#and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but#all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time#these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine#but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like#the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now#and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event#there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz#they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares#like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant#there are no photos of her there and no paps outside#like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true#she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city#EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser#people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME#famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity#idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF#is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life#so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their#frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together#as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person#idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR
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i don;t need it.......
#someone tell me i don't need it..........#ugh. he is so cute sob#i'm just gonna keep this tab open on my browser...#I was trying to see if the toji look-up figure is anywhere bc the place i preordered it STILL doesn't have them#even tho everywhere else has come and gone and he's sold out everywhere??#so really nothing do to but wait and see if it gets fulfilled. and be massively depressed if it gets cancelled :)#all i want is a tiny toji for my desk. it's all i ask#and now tiny rengoku for my desk#if there is an endeavor one i don't wanna know LOL i am too broke#i would buy all of my favs in this style figure it is SO cute sob. why can't i have unlimited money
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okay guys, I have been really good at enjoying summer so far but today I was nearly slaughtered by mosquitos - I have ( without exaggeration ) at least 100 mosquito bites on my legs, arms and neck. not even lying when I tell you I had to wash off the blood, cause ofc I was throwing hands with these fkers.
like ... summer you cool and all but mosquitos are spawns of evil and no one can convince me otherwise
#eva rambles#diary#I know they have their uses but ffs I want them all gone now haha#my legs especially look like a battlefield#doesn't help that I have a slight allergy to insect venom of all kinds#got so many lil bumps everywhere now cause ofc stuff gets swollen#yippie summer and all#the walk was not worth it - not a bit
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my community has like one bar mitzvah a year and it’s happening right fucking now and I feel so so so sorry for that boychik who went out of his way to request a bar mitzvah and become part of the Jewish people going up to the bimah in the wake of mass death and most of the community refusing point blank to talk to each other in the wake of everyone now knowing how everyone else will actually respond to war crimes in our name/
#I should have gone but I couldn’t get there logistically#I uh know there’s white a diversity of responses#And I suspect many friendships broken#There’s the woman who told me I didn’t feel things as a Jew for caring about gazans#And there’s another woman who actually is married into an Israeli family but has Bernie stickers everywhere and peace now#And either her politics have radically changed as well or those two friends are not on speaking terms rn
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The paralyzing fear of getting a detail wrong in a fic, and then watching shows with multiple seasons and being like….. okay, why did no one catch this?
#fandom things#specific examples- why do they act like nick has no degree#to get that far in law school- to have gone to law school at all#he needed an undergrad degree in SOMETHING#why did the new girl writers not know this#in himym- (a show rampant with problems- like how has it already aged so so poorly and it’s only been off the show for 10 years)#lily has an art history degree yet teaches kindergarten-#that isn’t a job you get when you don’t have a teaching degree#she clearly works in a school- she would need certification in teaching#clearly no one was informed of this#how did ron swanson get hired-#they showed how he became the director of parks - by usurping the throne from the dad from family ties#who planted marijuana everywhere#but how did ron get hired when he hates the government so much#those are the examples i thought of now#there are probably more#new girl#how i met your mother#parks and recreation
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I've been thinking a lot about my plushie collection and rn I'm just soo overwhelmed by it. Because there's so many of them, and most of them I unfortunately have no attachment to. A majority of the collection was bought on impulse (mostly from goodwill and other second hand shops, where plush are sold very cheaply so its easy to purchase more at one time). I want to sort thru them and get rid of the mass majority that I no longer want, to make room for ones I actually care about, but it feels like such a hassle.
My datemate keeps trying to convince me to wait until we move to do anything. But then I'll have my first collection combined with the one at my current residence and it'll be even more overwhelming. And then there's the thought of where I'm even going to send all these plush. I live in a apartment with cats, and although most of the plush are in boxes, it might still make it hard to sell them because of that. And I live with smokers with no respect, who like to open my bedroom door and let all their nasty smells and nicotine get into my shit, so that's going to make selling even harder.
I could just (re)donate my plush, but then I'll be basically throwing money away, and the same thing would be true if I literally threw them out. Maybe I'll try to sell the ones ik haven't been contaminated by anything because of being boxed up, and the rest I'll just donate. I could see if there's any children's or women's shelters I could send some to. I want to drop a few off for toys for tots as well, mainly the squishmallows because they still have tags and ik they'll be well loved
#ik I've talked about this before#but I truly mean it this time that Im overwhelmed#I have no room for new plushies#even the blue BAB frog I just bought. I haven't the faintest idea where it's gonna go#I'll obviously find room but still#and it makes me sad to have all these plushies here that I just. do not like#its mostly squishmallows that Im detesting atm#Im so over then#but they're my main displayed plushies and I don't want them anymore#I will keep a small handful. but the rest need to go bye bye. because they take up soooo much room#and are just. everywhere.#and there's a bunch of plush I don't even remember buying that are in the boxes that I definitely want gone#before I'd said sorting thru them all was hard. now I don't think it will be#maybe its just because Im nit hyperfixating on plushies rn that Im able to think more clearly about it#but yeah its time to purge my collection#Im even gonna get rid of some webkinz because a bunch of them were bought impulsively#luckily they were sorted right to the bottom of the boxes for their protection so I think I'll be able to sell them easily#anyways thanks for reading my rant guys#and if anyone has any advice on what I should do please let me know#viti shoosh
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#over a month now since my baby boy left me.#genuinely feel sick with how much i miss him all the time everywhere#it feels like its been 15 years and also only half an hour since then#finally got the locket to put some of his fur in so he'll always be with me. which.#made me feel better for approximately 4.2 minutes and then we were back to bottomless endless grief#I miss him and miss him and miss him and miss him and miss him all day every day every second of every minute#his absence is so loud#and i feel so fucking guilty so incredibly fucking at fault its killing me because i should have noticed soon i should have paid more#fucking attention#hes gone and its my fault. my fault my sweet darling angel who only ever loved me is gone#my baby boy deserved so much better#and all i can do is cry about it it doesnt change anything it doesnt make anything better it doesnt bring him back#anyway. i wish I was dead haha#u know the apiel ignore me i just needed to type this out ect and so on#bb baby#txt.me
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Thinking about how everyone talks about how arma always gets so much outside material of all the getter series, like it’s practically most of the merch and whenever getter is repped in crossovers-SRW or not-they always use arma as their iteration but probably due to the fact this a bit of obscure knowledge, I never hear anyone mention the fact arma afaik is the only getter anime to get some side stuff:
<In shin manga there is a singular bonus chapter that is set in armas verse that shows the end of the moon war, written and drawn by ishikawa himself <got its own audio drama cd midway through the shows production that covered events post moon wars but pre show, it also contained two songs that were character songs for go and ryoma, who their vas also sung for <In early 2000s, imagawa, the first director for the anime, in a magazine for a SRW manga he wrote his own three chapter manga that covered some of his ideas that didn’t make it in the final show after he left
Merch and crossover appearances are one thing but it’s kinda crazy how putting aside arc as it’s a full on adaptation, arma is the *only* anime to actually get some manga stuff even if it’s a few chapters, and a audio drama that’s like a hours worth of content on top of that. Like still kinda baffles me that during the whole period of the franchise post-ishikawas death that no one made mangas about any of the OVAs when each of them have potential for a prequel/sequel story that could just be a volume or so long, expect for arma getting a tiny bit of it. It’ll always be so weird to think about it’s the most popular iteration of the franchise despite there being a lot of disinterest for it in the mecha circles nowadays bc of how overused it is yet it’s clearly the one people care about the most and it seems early on it was so apparent it was the money maker.
#meg text#getter robo armageddon#honestly this one can go on twit bc I actually haven’t posted on there for no reason recently#but also the arma haters are significantly worse no one gives a fuck on this site bc the fandom here so small lol#It is sad how SVN and New are so neglected but it also makes me wanna know why they flopped#bc even if SVN wasn’t dubbed in English iirc it was dubbed everywhere else and it had to have done well if new came after#also it had shin getter so I more so chalked up “this one people watched but doesn't talked about bc it’s so brief”#but can’t begin to understand why everyone ignored new other then “grr no shin getter” even tho the getters look cool#and also I will never left at the irony it’s slept on when it’s the ova where ryoma is in EVERY episode#not to say you can’t like a character who’s hardly there and arma is only gone for close to half the show#but no one ever mentions the fact he dips after the third ep for awhile and a girl essentially replaces him💀#and SVN he’s a literal side character despite the title and promotion art making you think he’s piloting shin#im side tracking with ryoma now in tags lmao but the post itself covered my main thoughts
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i FUCKING HATE BUGS.
#yeah yeah yeah they're good whatever on an ideological level im fine with them#but holy fucking shit i hate bugs so so bad especially when they're IN MY ROOM (BAD.) and MAKING AUDIBLE BUZZING NOISES (SKINCRAWLINGLY BAD#just took some big ass buzzy thing outside & now there's fucking ladybugs everywhere too cos it's autumn i HATE ladybugs. and im#going to have to redo my hair because it feels like my skins crawling.#..... u know what. i am extremely tired and overwhelmed and on the verge of tears rn. going to sleepy fr now that that bastards gone.#txt
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Sometimes this -> :)))) is just not strong enough for what I mean
#what I really mean is my face hurts from smiling and i know im high but I am happy and it feels so so nice im gonna fall asleep happy#tonight#and I am excited I have plenty of time to sleep before work and I’m gonna work and make money and then have a day off and yesterday was slow#and today might be slow again and I can just hang out#doodle clean stretch stand draw doodle print something for someone check email check tumblr check cat app open computer check online orders#still none doodle again think about leaving drink water copy something for someone tell someone where to find white out or letter openers#etc etc#anyways. I am happy work is easy and boring but fun and I’m happy there#I think I’m still in the phase of isolation post Covid that this is me just exited to be outside again#like sure I’ve gone places but now it’s like I’m going places and working and standing and seeing all kinds of people and remembering they a#also have lives of their own#there are teachers and moms and business men and people getting divorced and people printing trump court documents and putting them in a#binder yes that really happened today idk why this old couple was doing this or why they thought I’d want to hear about it#anyways yeah. people are everywhere you can find community anywhere love is endless#📤
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uhhh skaluli skin suit be like
sorry for no art i havent draw in over a week /gen
legit the last stuff ive done :
and ive done nothing else ive just been rotting genuinely
#artluli#what the dog doin#oc#original character#if i cant do anatomy ill just break it!#but yeah sorry for not drawing at all really sorry i just idk fszdgrrk#i was gonna take pictures of my old work book that i drew in to give you at least something to look at#but ive looked everywhere and cant fucking find it#due to my memory loss i dont even know if i got my work book back because i wasnt allowed to go to my desk to get my stuff after i was fire#maybe they tossed it and i just didnt notice because i was too caught up being sad over job loss wub wub unlucky#sucks because i actually liked some of the stuff i drew in there which is rare because i barely do traditional anymore#oh well#ive searched everywhere where i would have put it if i did have it like 3 times now and i cant find it so maybe im just shit or its gone#sorry for being depressing#and rambling lmao ill stop that now too#bye
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After several weeks of working with my bike education co-teacher, I realized that I did not, in fact, just meet her this year, and that we actually went on a single date in 2019 and then never contacted each other again. I did not realize it was her until I did, because her hair is different now. My hair is the same. I have no idea if she remembers/recognizes me, and I will never mention it. I hope she doesn’t either.
#it's fine because I'm not attracted to her#EXCEPT her massive cyclist/soccer player quads#every time I see her I'm like#your quads sir#in my head#but anyway it's very funny if we are now just both pretending that we never met before this year while both knowing better#too late to say anything!#the problem is that I have gone on 1-3 dates with half the gay/bi/queer women in Portland#in a few summers of Dating Around Looking For Love#and so now everywhere I go I see someone I have been on 1-3 dates with
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