#but i finished the first chapter of this and i just wanted to share a lil đ„ș
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I Hate It Here
Kang Dae-ho x Reader After joining a mysterious game of life and death, you find solace in the company of another player, one so vibrant and optimistic it draws your mind from the horrors that await you. fem!reader, fluff, usual content warnings for Squid Game, guns, language, death etc, obvious spoilers for Squid Game season 2, mostly edited, not perfectly accurate to the episodes but close enough 5k words Hi all! If anyone else is like me, I've fallen down the rabbit hole of Squid Game since watching season two, and wrote this piece on my fav this season! I still have a poll up on my page for what other characters I should write about (accidentally set it to a week rather than a day oops), so if you have any other requests, drop a vote there, and specific suggestions in my comments or asks if you have any. This also happens to be the longest fluff piece I've ever written, so I hope its ok! Will add another chapter if people like. Enjoy <3 TTPD Contents | General Masterlist | AO3
You hadnât even considered that the weird guy who started shouting before the first game started would be telling the truth. That you could actually die here for money, or for entertainment, or for whatever the twisted fuckers who brought you here wanted. You figured he was just vying for attention, or trying to scare you all into backing out. Then you heard a gunshot.
After that moment, you followed every piece of advice he shouted out, satisfied he knew something you didnât. You made it over the finish line, shocked and traumatised, thanks only to hiding behind someone a lot taller than you. You immediately collapsed on the dirt panting with exhaustion, a few tears falling from your eyes. What had you gotten yourself into?
You were relieved when Player 456 called for a vote to end the games, and even more relieved at the realisation that his number was only a little after your own. He was called to vote first, red X marking his jersey, and you followed suit just after him, lucky as Player 452 that you could get your voting over and done with quickly. He smiled at you, bowing his head slightly in acknowledgment, and you returned the favour, moving to stand beside him. You quietly celebrated with him when a player chose your side, and you watched as he tried to talk to the remaining people, explaining how heâd played before. Then you consoled him when it didnât work. It came down to the last vote, the stress almost too much to bear, but as Player 001 was adorned in blue light from his selection, you realised you were stuck here, and you were close to crying again.
Player 456 automatically took you under his wing. There seemed to be another player that he knew, so you sat with them as you ate the provided food, dejected at the outcome, but grateful to at least have found some allies. You were trying to ask a few subtle questions about the game, but other players kept approaching your group. You shrunk back a little, avoiding the attention that came with being around the previous winner of the games, listening as people spoke of their admiration for him, and grilled him for information as to what was happening next.
You hadnât noticed at first - a voice speaking from behind you - and honestly, you didnât want to turn around, still feeling shy and awkward. Eventually, though, the crowd dissipated, and the source of the voice jumped down from one of the bunks. He was tall and lean, shoulder length hair pulled into a half-up half-down style, strays falling around his temples and framing his face. His smile was infectious, carrying from his lips to his eyes, which were rich brown in colour and full of joy and enthusiasm. You were transfixed by him as he introduced himself as Kang Dae-ho, quickly bonding with the man Player 456 knew thanks to their shared military history. He was the antithesis of you - so outgoing, so enthusiastic, so full of optimism. Even down to the blue circle that adorned his uniform; on most, it was a bad look, voting to continue at the risk of others, but on him, it seemed courageous.
His chattiness was as contagious as his smile, and as he joined your group to eat, you found yourself immersed in conversation with him: about the game, about the other players, about the members of your little makeshift crew. Even watching on and cheering together as Player 001 took down a few bullies in front of everyone. He was comfortable to be around. A welcome distraction that helped you forget where you were, or what you might have to do as the days passed.
And it was working. Until, after a while, the conversation lulled momentarily, and you couldnât stop your mind from drifting to darker places. What the game might be. What it would involve. If it would ever really get as brutal as Gi-hun said it mightâŠ
You felt a gentle nudge on your arm, snapping you out of your spell at the sound of your name falling from Dae-hoâs lips.
âYou good?â He muttered quietly, a hint of concern on his face. You had been talking for a few hours now, and you had done everything in your power to keep up your positive front, to pretend you were happy to be here but it was fading fast.
âYeah, Iâm justâŠâ
âScared?â A sigh of relief fell from your lips.
âYeah.â He smiled softly, glancing around to see where the others were, before leaning in closer.
âMe too, honestly. Just trying not to show itâŠâ There was a sincerity in his voice, a vulnerability that you could tell wasnât fake. He wasnât just saying it to make you feel better.
âDae-hoâŠâ you muttered, gesturing to the blue badge that signified his vote, âwhy did you choose to stay?â He shrugged, glancing back at the crowd of people who were starting to prepare for lights out.
âI need the money, and honestly, when I voted, I didnât know anyone here. I figured itâs not like Iâm personally killing anyone. No harm no foul, right? Itâs just the way a soldier thinks, I guess. You donât know who youâre shooting, just that theyâre in the way of your victory. But nowâŠâ he paused a beat, his eyes darting over to where Jung-bae and Gi-hun were sitting, deep in conversation, before landing on you, eyes scanning your face with a curious intensity. âIâll do everything to keep my team alive.â You couldnât help but laugh coldly. The sentiment was sweet, sure, but there were no guarantees.
âFrom what Gi-hun told us, it might not be a team game. It could be something completely out of our controlâŠâ
âIâm hopeful!â He exclaimed, the optimistic, puppy-like demeanour back as he grinned at you.
âIâm glad someone is.â The intercom informed you that it was 10 minutes until lights out, and you couldnât help but let out a shuddering breath. You werenât looking forward to that - trying to sleep in a dark room filled with hundreds of people you didnât know. Desperate people.
âLetâs find our beds for the night?â Dae-ho prompted, standing and offering his hand to help you up. You took it, smiling at him thankfully and glancing around for the other members of your team, palm feeling cold when his touch left it. âLook, there are two next to each other just above where Gi-hun has set his things down. We can bunk close together so you know youâre safe. Iâm a light sleeper!â His constant proactivity in making you feel safe and comfortable was warming your heart, but simultaneously causing a bout of nausea and anxiety that rose from your gut. One of you might die tomorrow in these twisted games. He would betray you in a heartbeat to keep himself alive, regardless of his sentiments. And despite that, you're already starting to trust him.
He was right though; he was a light sleeper. A few hours in and you hadnât slept at all yet, fear clouding every corner of your mind, and the only thing soothing you was the soft purr of his snores. Eventually, you couldnât help but sit upright, a quiet but frustrated sigh escaping your lips as your hands ran across your face and through your hair. His voice muttered your name, and you glanced over in shock to see him slowly sitting up in his bed, his tired eyes raking over you with concern.
âWhatâs wrong? Are you ok?â You pulled your legs to your chest, nodding at him before resting your head onto your knees.
âCanât sleep.â You muttered as a sorry excuse of an explanation, but it seemed to convey what you really meant, his head cocked in worry.
âCan I help at all?â You opened your mouth to reply, to tell him that you'd be ok, but he continued before you had a chance. âMaybe you should try falling asleep before me. Iâm going to be awake for a while now anyway, I can keep watch.â You were going to protest, to tell him to rest up and keep his energy for tomorrow, but honestly⊠it might help you. Just knowing he was keeping an eye out could get you a few hours of rest at least.
ââŠwould that be ok?â You asked timidly, but he nodded with his now signature enthusiasm.
âOf course! I told you Iâd protect you, Iâm keeping my end of the bargain.â
âThank you.â
âDonât mention it. Please, just get comfortable.â Your body instinctively laid down as close to him as possible, only the bars between the bunks separating you, curling up on the small bed and settling in. You closed your eyes, exhausted beyond belief, but the moment you did, panic overtook you. It was irrational, sure, but before, when you couldnât see him, you could hear him snoring so you knew he was still there. Now, it was dead silent. Your arm reached forwards instinctively, avoiding the metal posts to meet the soft fabric of his uniform, fingers latching on securely. You blushed at your own response to fear, grateful to the dark surrounding you, but as you felt him shuffle closer, allowing you a firmer grip, all of your nerves dissipated, your body finally giving in to exhaustion.
You woke to loud classical music and the intercom announcing that the next game will be starting shortly. You blinked your eyes open, groaning already at the aches forming in your body and the speed of your heartbeat at the thought of the horrors today might bring. But then, you felt a hand softly close around your forearm, giving a gentle squeeze of encouragement. You glanced down to see where your hand was still clasped around the edge of his T-shirt, the back of your fingers grazing the warm skin of his stomach, his own arm draped atop yours from where he lay on your side. You blushed furiously, untangling your arm from his and sitting up as casually as you could manage, rubbing the back of your neck in an attempt to hide your red cheeks.
âHeyâŠâ he muttered sleepily, shifting to sit up too, and your body automatically turned to him, as though after just a few hours of knowing him, you were programmed to seek his voice out and follow it. âRemember what I said, ok? Stick by me today. If itâs Dalgona like Gi-hun said, pick triangle, and if not, weâll work it out.â You couldnât do much but nod, nerves and fear clouding your senses. You just focussed on putting one foot in front of the other, climbing out of bed and lining up with the rest of the players in the centre of the room. When the guards starting walking, you followed wordlessly until you reached the game room, the only thing keeping you from breaking down was the knowledge that Dae-ho was right behind you.
Gi-hunâs confused expression when you entered the room confirmed everything you needed to know - you wouldnât be playing Dalgona today. However, Dae-hoâs optimism from the day before was well-placed, as the speakers announced that players should arrange themselves into teams of five. It was an easy pick. At some point during the night or morning, Gi-hun had reconciled with Player 001, and he honestly seemed like a solid addition to the team. He had physical skill - youâd seen that during the fight - and he had a seriousness about him that made you feel confident.
They announced the games, and your heart dropped. As the only girl on the team, you knew theyâd ask you to play gonggi, and it just wasnât something youâd played. As the inevitable question came, you shook your head in shame.
âIâm sorry, I never had anyone to teach it to me.â Your heart broke at the disappointment on your teammates faces.
âI can play gonggi.â Dae-ho piped up from beside you, and you breathed out in relief.
âAn ex-marine playing gonggi?â You heard Jung-bae pipe up, and you couldnât help but frown at his comment. You could immediately hear the pride drain from Dae-hoâs voice as he replied, and you glared at the older man, hoping to quietly convey your disappointment in him.
âI have four older sisters, so I played with them sometimes.â Jung-bae started to backtrack and encourage him, but you couldnât help but think about why Dae-ho felt like he had to defend himself. It was such an endearing trait - a softer side that you valued and trusted in an ally - and yet he was explaining why it was ok to be good at a kidâs game. It made you feel sad for him. You interrupted Jung-baeâs forced sentiment slightly harshly.
âIâm good at flying stone. I used to bet the boys in my class that I could beat them and won every time.â Jung-bae looked as though he was going to say something, but Dae-ho spoke up first with a wide smile that calmed your nerves.
âPerfect! Weâre lucky to have an expert with us. What about the rest of you?â
The rest of the team decided their roles quickly, Jung-bae sarcastically stating if he couldnât play flying stone like he wanted, ddakji was his next best choice. You just shrugged. Gi-hun settled on jegi, and Player 001 seemed happy with what was left to him, so now, all you had to do was wait.
The first race was awful. It felt like a car crash you couldnât bring yourself to look away from as the second player in their team missed in flying stone over and over and over again. Your team were discussing strategies based on how they were doing, how missing the stone eats up time as you have to fetch it, but you just felt a lump form in the back of your throat. If you failed this, all of you would die. The timer hit zero as he finally struck the stone, and you ripped your eyes away just in time, covering your ears and staring at the floor as the sound of gunshots ricocheted throughout the room. You eventually opened your eyes as the pink guards carried large gift boxes into the room that you could only assume were coffins for the dead, and turned to glance at Dae-ho in horror. He wasn't looking at his surroundings, practicing his part of the game with some small stones, but there was a noticeable shake in his hands that hadnât been there before.
It was hours before it was your turn, and you were already exhausted before even playing. Watching everyone else, being so invested in each and every personâs survival, constantly thinking about how you could improve on their methods for their own attempt - it had taken its toll. And now, it was finally time for you to do it. You looped your arms around Jung-baeâs and Dae-hoâs, ankles already bound together, and he gave you one last smile of encouragement before you set off. You moved in accordance to Gi-hunâs shouts, reaching the ddakji station before you knew it. It only took two attempts and it flipped, the excitement of your group palpable as you continued to the next game. Your turn.
Your hands were shaking as you took the stone from the guard, almost so much that you dropped the damn thing. You tried to breathe deeply, to calm yourself down, but your mind wouldnât stop returning to that first race, to the player who missed over and overâŠ
Warm hands surrounded your own, snapping you out of your thoughts and grounding you. Dae-ho spoke, and you looked up at him, fear etched into your features.
âBreathe. Remember how you used to do it. Youâre just on the playground winning a bet. Steady your hands, breathe, and throw.â You nodded along as he spoke, breaths returning to normal just long enough to compose yourself, crouching slightly. Like a skipping stone. As it left your hand, you cursed quietly. You were worried that it was too high, not quite the right angle, but by some miracle, it caught the top of the stone, toppling it just with the lightest touch. You couldâve cried as the Circle guard raised his hands above his head to mimic the shape on his mask, relieved that you wouldnât be at fault if your team didnât make it.
Dae-hoâs arm was like a vice as you made your way to the next game, his own nerves now evident. He gathered the gonggi in his hand, feeling the weight of them, and you and Player 001 leant slightly away from him to give him the space he needed. Jung-bae started to speak, throwing some generic words of encouragement his way, but you shushed him quickly. Heâd told you earlier that he concentrated better when it was silent, so you intended to make sure that he had the conditions he needed. You watched as he let out a breath in preparation, then began, moving with speed and accuracy that left you in awe. As he held out his fist to the guard, and they approved, you couldnât help but quickly wrap your arm around him, a short celebration before moving to the next section.
It took Player 001 a long time to complete the Spinning Top. You couldnât help but flinch every time he failed, glancing up at the time in worry as he cursed himself out over and over. Gi-hun set him straight, calming him down quickly and reminding him of everything at risk, and he finally succeeded. The last portion of the race passed in a blur of seconds, Gi-hun quickly completing Jegi with the help of Player 001 before stumbling over the finish line, unexpected tears falling from your eyes in relief. You had actually made it, all of you hadâŠ
Gunshots rung out in the room, and you screamed, instinctively ducking down, your hands flying to your ears. It wasnât until your heartbeat returned to normal and the guards started to unlock your ankle restraints that you realised Dae-ho had wrapped himself around you, one arm pulling your face into his chest, your head nestled tightly in his hand and folding the rest of himself around you. You tried to move, legs now free, but he wasnât budging. You could feel his heart hammering against his chest, breaths shaky as they fanned against your neck. You pulled your hands from your ears, pressing them to his chest and gently easing him back to standing. That seemed to snap him back to reality a little, but he looked confused, still shaking.
âHey, Dae-hoâŠâ you muttered, and his eyes finally settled on you, looking like a deer caught in headlights, âitâs ok, they didnât shoot us. Weâre alive, weâre okâŠâ You could almost see the cogs turning in his mind as you said that, the confusion and fear slowly giving way to relief, breaths steadying as his eyes frantically scanned your body for signs of injury.
âWeâre ok?â He whispered, and you nodded.
âWeâre all good. Nobody got hurt. We did it.â He nodded, the gravity of what you said finally hitting him. He smiled, but his eyes still looked far away, like he wasnât quite grounded yet. âLetâs go back to the dorms, yeah? Then vote to get the fuck out of here.â He just nodded again, and you led him from the room, following the rest of your team, who kept glancing back at him with a concerned expression.
By the time you got back to the main room, though, he was back to his usual enthusiastic self, excitedly discussing voting plans with the rest of your team, and encouraging everyone on their prowess in their individual games. Despite your victory, it seemed that you all wanted to leave, happy with the money as it was and wanting a fresh start outside of this hell. But as the voting commenced, it didnât take long for the O side of the tally to tick up, and by the time you and Gi-hun got to vote - the last out of everybody - it didnât matter. The circles had already won.
Dinner was a silent affair: Gi-hun, Player 001 and yourself eating quietly while Dae-ho kept guiltily glancing to where Jung-bae had extradited himself, his traitorous blue badge burning your eyes as though it was a bright neon sign. Eventually, he stood, pulling the older man almost by the scruff of his neck over to where the rest of you were and having a quiet, frustrated conversation with him. You sighed as Dae-ho dragged him to stand in front of you all, looking at you expectantly as Jung-bae just looked sheepish. You sighed. No point losing an ally over something you couldnât change now.
âItâs not like you voting to leave would have changed a whole lot, we were outvoted by more than one personâŠâ The subsequent onslaught of thanks almost made you want to take it back, but the joy and pride in Dae-hoâs face made it worth it.
While you pretty much knew each otherâs names already, he decided this would be a good time for everyone to introduce themselves properly, starting with himself. He explainied that his name meant âbig tigerâ, and it made you giggle. It was fitting - a hard and brutal exterior when needed, but ultimately a softy beneath it all. You heard everyone elseâs, finally learning that Player 001 was called Young-il, just like his number, but when it got to you, you had to explain that you werenât sure what your name meant.
âWe could always give it a meaning,â Gi-hun piped up, and you laughed.
âLike what?â
âMaybe⊠good at throwing.â You laughed again as his face crumpled in shame at his own attempt, the others chiming in to better him.
âLoud snorer!â Jung-bae exclaimed, earning an offended âheyâ thrown in his direction.
âGood teammate?â Young-il said, and Gi-hun scoffed.
âThat oneâs just lazy! What about pretty hair?â
âYou donât name someone after their hair!â
âKind angel.â Dae-ho said proudly, and you honestly felt close to tears as everyone else stopped bickering to agree with him. You smiled thankfully as his eyes met yourâs, laced with warmth and care. Maybe it would all be ok if you stayed a little longer.
"Ok, big tiger, kind angel it is."
âWhen we survive the next game and finally get to leave this placeâŠâ You had been talking for well over an hour now, and you had given up correcting his âwhenâ statements to âifâ. His optimism was so sweet it hurt your teeth, but if it helped him cope with being in here, then they could rot for all you cared. âWhat do you want to do?â
âWell, I want to pay off my debt firstâŠâ
âObviously.â He said with a laugh. âI mean fun stuff.â You smiled sadly, staring at your shoes.
âHonestly? Iâve been in survival mode for so long now I havenât thought about fun stuff since I was young.â You paused a beat, glancing back up at him. âSorry, I didnât mean to bum you out.â He just shrugged.
âThatâs ok, I know what you mean. But you should. Think of something fun, I mean. Might help you get through this.â You couldnât fault his logic, but it took you a minute before you could remember anything.
âWhen I was a kid, I read about the Bahamas being a magical place where there were black and pink sand beaches, and that you could swim with pigs in the sea there⊠it sounded so peaceful and picturesque. I think Iâd like to visit one day.â
âThat sounds amazingâŠâ he replied, wistfully looking at the ceiling. You were keeping watch together, your team peacefully sleeping under the beds behind you, and the silence their absence left seemed to be goading you to keep talking.
âWe could go together. A few weeks, no stress, just sunbathing and swimming andâŠâ It had slipped out before you could stop it, and you could feel the sentiment bouncing around the room, loud and weighty. There was a charged moment of silence, his eyes drifting from the ceiling to you, scanning your face for signs of insincerity. He wouldnât find any.
âThat would be perfect.â You smiled in relief, but it was short lived, both of you whipping your heads to the door frantically as you heard a knocking echo in the dark space. You found the source of the noise quickly though - Players 120 and 149 requesting to use the bathroom. You watched the scene play out quietly, smiling at the older womanâs dramatic display as they were finally let through by the guards, and the space fell into a stifling silence once again.
âWhat are you going to do when you get out of here?â
âWe.â He corrected you quickly, and you blushed.
âFine, when we get out of here.â He paused, fiddling with the collar of his jacket and pulling it up to cover the lower half of his face, fingers twirling the zip as he pulled his knees to his chest.
âI want to take you to see my hometown. My family still live there, and I know my sisters would love you. They could even teach you gonggi too, if you wanted.â A tear fell to your cheek, the tenderness of it all hitting you quickly. âMaybe buy a little place there and one in Seoul, so I can visit them as much as I want. Spend weekends by the water there. Not as exciting as the Bahamas, grantedâŠâ You rested your head on his shoulder, blinking back the tears and swallowing hard to clear the emotion from your voice. It didnât work.
âThat would be perfect.â
It scared you how much you trusted him so quickly. It hadnât even been two days and you found yourself daydreaming of a future with him. A future where you didnât have to do shit like this for money. A future where you both found good jobs, earning enough to keep you comfortable. A future where you could start over with the help of the money you earned here. A future worth living for. Youâd always been sceptical, but maybe trauma bonding was a real thing after all.
âDae-ho?â A sleepy voice behind you muttered, and you both turned to see Gi-hun shuffling out from beneath the one of the beds. You had all decided to make doubles when you were setting up earlier with the bunks that were already next to each other, sliding two mattresses together and having a buddy to make it safer, Jung-bae opting to sleep alone in shame. Young-il followed him out, yawning dramatically and rubbing his eyes. âYou guys have been up for a long time, let us swap out for a while.â
âAre you sure?â You asked, but Young-il yawning had set you off, following suit even though you tried to suppress it. They just gave you that look dads use instead of saying âI told you soâ. âYeah, yeah, ok fair enough.â
Dae-ho shuffled in first, and you followed. It was cramped, sure, but there was just enough room for you to sleep on your side or turn over, so you didnât feel claustrophobic. As you made your way in, you realised how dark it was, evidenced by the fact you only found where Dae-ho was when you bumped into him, your arm pressing into his. A few moments passed and you stayed like that, finding comfort in the warmth he provided you with, and the soft sound of his breathing. Then you felt it. One of his fingers delicately tracing a line up the back of your hand. Your breath hitched, then evened out as the patterns he drew soothed you, and you couldnât stop your head from lulling towards him to rest on his shoulder once more. Wordlessly, he withdrew his arm from beside yours and slid it underneath your neck, his hand falling to your shoulder, gently pulling you closer without being forceful. You allowed him to move you however he wanted, following his guidance and twisting until you were on your side, letting your leg drape over his and your hand fall to his chest. Your head ended up nestled into his neck as his arm kept tightening around you, hand eventually resting on your waist. You settled further into him with a contented sigh, his other hand meeting yours and enveloping it, the warmth and comfort alongside the rise and fall of his chest almost sending you straight to sleep.
It was a few minutes before you heard him speak, and even then you couldnât be sure it was real. You were so close to drifting off, and his voice was barely audible, lips ghosting across your scalp.
âPromise meâŠâ he whispered, quiet and vulnerable, âthat weâll make it out of here?â He sounded so broken. You lifted your entwined hands to your lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles that you hoped conveyed reassurance before tucking your joined hands close to your body.
âI promise.â His own lips found themselves on your forehead, the lightness of the touch leaving your skin tingling and a content blush fanning across your cheeks. His hands squeezed yours tighter as exhaustion began to pull you under, and all you could think was how badly youâd fucked yourself over. That even if you somehow made it out of this place, if it was without him, it would feel worthless.
"Goodnight, kind angel."
#squid game#squid game season 2#player 388#dae ho x reader#kang dae ho#dae ho#squid game s2#kang dae ho x reader#player 388 x reader#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#i hate it here
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word count: 1.7k
synopsis: in which sylus defies all logic and odds, just for you.
contains: part 2 of blackjack, sylus x fem!reader (non mc, first time meeting), slightly obsessive sylus, alcohol consumption, cursing, mentions of weapons and violence, and gambling (know the rules of blackjack).
a/n: in blackjack, you want to get as close as you can to 21 without going over. to bust means to go over 21. to stay means to stay with the cards you have. you can tap for more cards or wave to stay. a natural (best outcome) means you immediately get 21 with your initial cards. but, you don't have to get to 21 to win. so long as the dealer has a worse hand than you, you win. essentially, it's a game against the dealer, not the people you play with. reblogs & comments are appreciated.
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sylus has never lost in blackjack before.
he's mastered every gambling card game for the sake of business deals and corrupt clients. and yet, here you are, spitting at his mastery as you flip another twenty, forcing him to either stay at his nineteen or risk a bust. and sylus never stays or busts in blackjack.
while your hands question almost every statistic and probability out there, your expression is what truly does it for him. even though you've only been winning, you haven't shown a trace of happiness or any other emotion normally present at a poker table. there's nothing when your opponents raise their bets, nothing when you win their bets, and infuriatingly nothing when your silver-haired opponent leans on the table and gazes at you hungrily after you take his chips for the umpteenth time tonight.
chuckling to himself, sylus can't help but think, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours? what will it take for you to look at him with half the interest he's looking at you with right now?
"because the lounge closes in less than thirty minutes," you gesture to the clock, snapping the silver-haired man out of his thoughts. "this will be the final round."
you hand a deck of cards to sylus, signaling him to shuffle. he takes it from you, trying not to shudder when his finger grazes yours.
sherman and his lackey groan upon checking how many chips they have left. "and here i thought blackjack was the easiest game against the house," the former complains as he lights a cigar.
"perhaps," the latter starts carefully, "we can wager something different this round." he shares a knowing look with his boss before turning to sylus. "what do you think, mr. sylus?"
sylus sighs as he finishes shuffling the deck. that idiot messed up his shuffle. great, now he looks like an idiot to you. "what would you like to wager?" he huffs as he places the deck in front of you.
"the deal, sylus," sherman snaps. "if i win, we have a deal."
sylus laughs mirthlessly, shaking his head. seems like the imbecile finally decided to drop his friendly act. "and what will your little employee wager?" he asks with faux curiosity.
"that depends on the lady in front of us, mr. sylus," the man in question answers before licking his lips at you. "say, miss dealer. if i win, how about you accompany mr. sherman and me back to a hotel nearby? we promise you'll be thoroughly compensated."
the head of onychinus stands up swiftly, his hands curling into fists. he should have seen this coming. the knowing look sherman and his lackey shared earlier wasn't just a shot at trapping him into a deal; it was an attempt at you and who knows what nauseating desires. before he can pummel the two men into the ground, you speak.
"i'm afraid that won't be possible, gentlemen," you pick up a chip and flip it between your knuckles. "the main objective of blackjack is to beat the dealer, not to win exclusively." your eyes never leave the chip. "for example, what will happen to your wagers if only i win?" you place the chip down. "in other words, multiple wagers are useless in blackjack due to its main objective."
sylus smirks as he sits down, pride blooming in his chest. not only were you good at blackjack, but you were also good at navigating your way in and out of technicalities. oh, he's definitely buying you a drink after this. you earned it. besides, he's curious to know what a talented little lamb like you is doing in the n109 zone. maybe a drink or two will soften you up and lay your mind bare.
"what would you suggest, miss dealer?" sherman questions angrily, his eye twitching. "you're impossible to beat, and unfortunately," he chucks a gun onto the table, "i'm not walking away without a deal."
sylus tenses. you don't flinch.
"change the main objective," you eloquently respond as you reach for the deck of cards sylus shuffled. "the three of you will play against each other, and whoever gains a blackjack or the hand closest to it will have their wager fulfilled." you fingers never slip as you pass out the cards. "while a tie may be possible, the likelihood will be drastically reduced, as you will no longer be playing to beat me." your braid your fingers and rest them against your stomach, your eyes unwavering. "you will be playing to win."
while sherman and his lackey mull over your proposal, sylus takes a sip from his glass, his eyes glued to you. what could you possibly gain from this? no bets you can profit from have been placed. not to mention your choice to stay out of this round just cost you your chance to prevent sherman and his lackey from fulfilling their profane desires. his brows furrow, no longer enjoying the feeling nor taste of fizz on his tongue. this entire night you've only led him in circles, forcing him to deal with your unpredictable actions and signature indifference. does he hate this? fuck no. your antics give him a sense of desire, a driveâsomething he's been severely lacking for a while.
but, sylus' patience is wearing thin. he swears if he can't get you to look at him with anything but that damned emptiness, he's going to force his way into your eyes until they are filled to the brim with nothing but him, him, him.
"mr. sylus?" sherman's lackey snaps him out of his thoughts. "your wager?"
"ah," sylus places his glass down, ignoring the cracks forming on it from how tightly he was gripping it. "if i win-"
he pauses, noticing something.
"miss dealer, why did you give yourself cards? i thought you weren't playing," he inquires with a tilt of his head.
"i gave myself cards to stay true to the dealing rules of blackjack," you answer calmly, extending your arm towards sherman's cards to begin the game. "don't worry, mr. sylus. i won't be playing this round, only dealing. my cards are facedown, after all."
sylus inhales sharply. you said his name. you said his name for the first time. and fuck, did it feel so good to hear it on your tongue.
"stay or hit, mr. sherman?" you option the man. he has an ace of spades and a seven of hearts, giving him eighteen. the man takes another puff of smoke before tapping the table. "a hit," you confirm before flipping a four of clubs. the man curses loudly, sputtering on his cigar. "too high," you declare as you immediately move on to his lackey.
"stay or hit?" you repeat. the lackey has an ace of hearts and an eight of clubs, giving him nineteen. the man sighs before waving a hand. "stay," you confirm before turning to sylus.
you still upon seeing his cards. a ten of diamonds and a nine of spades, bringing him to tie with sherman's lackey. so much for the likelihood of a tie being dramatically reduced. you exhale before asking, "stay or hit?"
"hm," sylus hums. he could technically stay and walk away with a tie. sherman won't be selling him fake protocores since he lost, and his lackey won't get his way with you since he tied. besides, hitting would be risky since the chances of getting a two are barely one percent, and the chances of getting an ace are either four or two percent, depending on what you have.
sylus tilts his head, realizing something.
"miss dealer, may i look at your cards?"
"i don't see why not," you say after a few seconds, ignoring sherman and his lackey's complaints.
"thank you, miss dealer," he purrs, reaching for your cards. "you won't regret it."
you don't say anything. you just cross your arms and lean against the table, resuming your unconcerned demeanor.
sylus grins after flipping your cards. an ace of diamonds and a ten of diamonds. you had a fucking blackjack. for the nth time of the night, you drew another natural. there's no way he's letting you go after this, not after you reduced his chances of getting an ace from four to two percent.
at this point, you've already realized why sylus wanted to see your cards. he was trying to gauge his chances of getting an ace, but since you had the third one from the deck, his chances were now fatally low. not to mention, his chances of getting a two were also low, meaning staying was the best option. you reach for his cards, hoping to clean up and get the fuck out of the n109 zone because you know from the depraved looks he's been giving you, prolonging your stay would be dangerous.
but what you don't know is the type of person sylus is. he's the type of person to spit in the face of fate, probabilities, and every distinct concept known to dictate humanity. people don't call him a "relentless conqueror" for nothing. unfortunately for you, this man has found something he relentlessly wants to conquer: your fucking attention. he makes that very clear when he taps the table.
and god, is he glad he decided to hit because you finally reacted to him.
your once-indifferent eyes were now faltering with uncertainty. your once-crossed arms were now hanging loosely at your sides. your once-relaxed voice was now quivering as you asked, "i'm sorry, a hit?"
sylus runs a finger upon his lips, trying to control his manic grin. oh, you looked utterly confused, and he was all for it. never has he seen such a beautiful and enticing sight: you, pushed to the absolute brink with your eyes bewitchingly transfixed on him, trying to figure out why the hell he would hit when his chances of winning are painstakingly low.
"yes, sweetie." your brows furrow when he calls you that. "a hit," he confirms with a teasing smile.
you gape at him (yes, keep looking at him like that; fill your eyes with him and him only) for a few more seconds before reaching for a card. people just really like to gamble, you reason. there's no way an ace can come out of this. however, your lips can't help but part when you flip over the card.
an ace of clubs.
he won.
#i had to do some calculations for this one#the things i do for sylus *sighs half lovingly and half tiredly*#sylus x reader#sylus x you#lads sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus fanfic#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace fic#lnds x reader#lads x reader
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Release~ Elijah Mikaelson x Reader
~~~~~~~~~
2k words: You are pent up and trying to get Elijah to pay attention but at what cost?
Warnings: smut, oral (f!recieving), teasing, slight overstimulation, and multiple orgasm (female)
A/N: Honestly I have been having this image of Elijah eating his lover out in my head for weeks now and I had to write that down (I might or might not also be procrastinating school work and sleep).
~~~~~~~
You looked at Elijah and rolled your eyes. He was all composed and relaxed, although you had tried your best to rile him up all day. You had tried everything. First you had worn one of his shirts in the morning, running around the house like that. He had just pulled you back in your shared bedroom preventing anyone from seeing you like that. As if anyone was home Then you had become a little bolder. You had tried to run your hands down his chest, his arms, touching his biceps, squeezing it slightly. But he had just taken your hands in his with an amused smile on his face and stopped you with a chuckle.Â
You had been pent up with sexual frustration for almost two days now and you didnât know how to communicate your desire to fuck with him. Right here preferably. Maybe on the kitchen table.Â
Elijah was now sitting in front of you with a book in his hand, reading, acting as if he wasn't noticing how pent up you were. You decided to tease him a little more by standing up and walking behind him with quick and deliberate steps wrapping your hands around him from your angle.Â
âWhy don't you come up in the bedroom with me?,â you whispered into his ears but Elijah only chuckled. Â
âWhy donât you let me finish this chapter and then weâll see?,â he asked. You rolled your eyes again and pointed to a dictionary on the table, âYou know I bet if I would search boring in there, a picture of you would probably pop up.âÂ
You knew it wasnât a good idea to talk to him like that, it was rather dangerous to challenge him. Elijah proved your point immediately as he snapped his book closed with a thud. âBoring?,â he asked, drawing out the syllables of the word and you smiled slightly, your cheeks heating up. Now you had him where you wanted him.Â
âWhy donât you come here and I'll show you something absolutely not boring?,â Elijah asked, his voice low and dangerous as he patted his lap. You quickly got closer. Elijah wrapped an arm around your waist, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your neck, as he pulled you down onto him forcing you to sit.
âYou see,â he started, âI planned to have a nice and relaxing evening with you today, showing you how much I adore you and that I am glad you are here,â he said his hand wrapped around your throat, âFor that I thought it might be of good use, if you are a little pent up, wouldnât you think that?,â he asked.
You didnât respond, your heart pounding in your chest. Elijah chuckled, âLove, I asked you a question,â he said and squeezed your throat to emphasize his point.
âYes,â you croaked out.Â
Elijah hummed approvingly, as his hand slowly ran down your chest squeezing your breast through the material of your clothes.Â
âBut you seem to be all eager and canât wait, isnât it like that, sweetheart?,â he chuckled and you whimpered as his hand snaked under your shirt. âElijah, not here,â you whispered, you might have been dreaming about him to fuck you, but this was to risky for your taste. But it wasn't any help, he ignored you pulling your shirt over your head with a smile.Â
âI missed the part where you get to decide that,â he chuckled and shifted you on his lap, so you were sitting on his right leg only, as his hand dipped under your skirt and made you shiver. Normally Elijah was taking his time, preparing you properly for him, but right now he was just pushing up the lace, his fingers gracing your folds.Â
âWhat a nice surprise,â he chuckled darkly, as he realized you werenât wearing any underwear.Â
âElijah,â you whispered as his fingers pushed against your clit, drawing lazy circles before stroking your folds twice.Â
âYou are so wet. I bet you've been like that for quite a while now, hm?,â he chuckled, his fingers going back to your clit to circle it slowly. You tried to buck your hips against him, but it wasn't any use,
He clicked his tongue disapprovingly, "Now, now, is that a way to act?," he asked, his voice lower again.Â
"No, I'm sorry," you whispered and he increased the speed of his fingers. He knew exactly what you needed and how to get you off at any time, but right now it was even easier for him since you were so desperate.
You were a moaning, panting mess beneath him, your head falling onto his shoulder as you pressed your eyes together and tried to keep the sounds to a minimum.Â
"Don't worry, no one's here," Elijah whispered, and you quickly checked with your super hearing and realised that he was in fact right. You let out a moan which only encouraged Eliah to touch you rougher. You desperately wanted him to insert a finger into your pussy, but he seemed to have other plans.
His skilled touch drove you to the edge quickly and effectively, and you whimpered as his fingers pushed you over it without a second thought. The heat of your orgasm crashed over you, and you panted, rutting against Elijah while trying to gain more friction, while getting away at the same time. Elijah had you melting into his touch and he just looked at you with a grin, "Now, now, what happened to the girl who was so confident only moments ago?," he whispered kissing your neck, keeping an iron grip on you, "Is she scared now?"
You crossed your arms, angry at how condescending he was talking. He gave you a light slap on the cheek before using his vampire speed to press you onto the couch.Â
"You look so beautiful, when you don't know what you want," he chuckled mockingly and his hands were on your thighs, squeezing them, watching your every reaction closely. When he felt like he had you were he wanted he slowly dragged his tongue across your folds.Â
"Does that feel good love?," he asked despite exactly knowing the answer. Your whimper encouraged him and he did it again. "Words," he commanded.
"Yes, Elijah, yes it feels good," you babbled your hips bucking against his tongue. You weren't sure if you wanted him off you or on you, but he didn't let you decide anyway.Â
Elijah moaned at the taste of you and your head fell back against the pillow as his lips closed around your clit sucking lightly. Then again a little harder. He was forcing another orgasm, and you knew it.Â
"Elijah, please," you whispered as his tongue circled your entrance before slowly sinking inside.Â
"Please what?," he asked innocently, and you moaned at the feeling of him. His thumb draw circles on your clit making you shudder beneath him.
"Please I need you," she whispered. Elijah smiled pleased. He knew what you meant, what you truly needed but he had zero intentions to give it to you.
"What part of me exactly?," he asked challenging you. You swallowed but you were to worked up to back out now, and honestly, this man had his tongue between your legs, it was a little to late to be embarrassed now.Â
"Your cock," you whispered and Elijah laughed his thumb running over your clit bringing you to the edge quickly and effectively.Â
"Oh but sweetheart," he whispered, "I like to see you squirming beneath me, coming undone just because of my tongue."
You moaned trying to get the strength to answer but Elijah didn't give you time, giving you a final lick with his tongue and pushing you over the edge. You moaned loudly, panting, as something inside you seemed to explode. Your body was already spent but not entirely satisfied.
"Look, love," Elijah said his voice slightly condescending, "I would have given you anything you would have wanted tonight if only you would have waited for me to finish my chapter, and take you upstairs."
He clicked with his tongue disapprovingly, "But this is what you wanted right? Pure stimulations. Or did I get the message wrong?"
"Elijah," you whimpered your hands tugging at his hair, trying to get his tongue off of you, but he just pushed them away holding them to the ground.
You wanted him to be the sweet Elijah who'd talk you through it but you had unleashed something. You had tried it before, but he had always been holding back. You knew he was also doing that now, there was no way you'd ever see the beast he truly was when he was completely gone, you knew there was a good chance you wouldn't survive it.Â
But that didn't matter anyway, this version of Elijah was already bringing you to the brink and back. You cried out every time his fingers or mouth would touch or taste you, the way he toyed with you not lost on you.Â
Hot tears were prickling down your face as he didn't stop, didn't show any kind of mercy. "Elijah please stop," you pleaded and he looked up at you, tilting his head kissing your lips. You wrapped your hand around his neck pulling him close. You tried to unbutton his shirt or at least get his tie off but he stopped you shaking his hand.Â
"My beautiful, beautiful, love," he whispered into your ear kissing your neck, "So desperate," his hand tugged into your hips as he kissed down between your breasts. He stopped at your belly and without further warning he sunk his teeth into it. You screamed in surprise but the pain quickly turned into pleasure that threatened to overthrow anything.
"Please Elijah, I am sorry for teasing you, I want you," you whispered and he could only chuckle as he slowly unbuttoned his pants. You watched him pulling his cock out and moving above you, so you could easily stroke him.Â
"Will you fuck me?," you whispered completely aware of how desperately you had to sound, with his cock so close to your pussy.
He smiled a kind smile and nodded, "I don't appreciate to deny you," he whispered, "You know that."
You watched him lining himself up with you and slowly sinking into you. You moaned loudly trying to adjust to his length. No matter how many times you two would do this you could never fully comprehend his size. It wasn't that he was that much longer than any average man, which he was too, but it was mostly how thick he was. He knew how you felt about his length and smiled, kissing your forehead in adoration.Â
You knew he wasn't mad anymore otherwise he wouldn't give you so much time to adjust to him. When he was really mad or disappointed with your behaviour he would just pound into you relentlessly.Â
You smiled up at him nodding and he began with slow, deliberate strokes.Â
"Sorry that I left you waiting for so long," he whispered and you smiled, realisation dawning in you.
"Elijah, did you set me up with letting me wait so long?," you asked. You wrapped your hands around his neck and had to close your eyes as he decided to pick up the pace.Â
"Maybe," he said as you opened your ey again, his eyes sparkling, "I do love it when you are all needy and begging for release."
He chuckled and you whimpered as his thumb brushed down to your clit again.
"Can you give me one more?," he whispered into your ear and you nodded without hesitation. Elijah's strokes on your clit increased together with his trusts, bringing you closer to the promised edge.
"Fuck Elijah," you moaned out as you felt how close he was to release. He released inside you but didn't stop stimulating your clit. A white wave of pleasure crushed over you as you came around him, moaning and whimpering as you tried to regain all your senses.
You felt Elijah's body crush down on you, but he caught himself, chuckling as he kissed your neck sucking on it, leaving marks that healed instantly again.Â
"You are cute when you are all spent," he whispered
"I love you," you whispered, pulling him closer, letting your hands run through his hair.
"I love you too," he said back without hesitation, drawing you against his chest and letting you close your eyes and falling asleep.Â
You felt content and safe just like you loved it.
#elijah mikaelson#elijah mikaelson smut#elijah mikaelson x reader#elijah mikaelson x y/n#smut#blood drinking#the vampire diaries#the originals
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'Day by Day by Day' or: The Great Five-Year Hiatus
So it's been quite a little while hasn't it?
Five whole years to be exact.
A stretch of time that anyone would rightfully call more than "a little while" if we're being honest. And for that I don't really have anyone to blame but myself. For the longest time I have struggled with maintaining active presences across multiple websites and platforms, at least in an organic way that doesn't involve services like Postybirb. I want to get better at that, and right now there's no better motivation for that than the start of this year, considering what I've got in store!
While the past five years have seen me doing everything from commissions, to adopts, ask answers, and illustrations on platforms like Tumblr, then Twitter, and now Twitter + Bluesky, I've pivoted to making the push I should have done a while ago: full length comics. What does this mean? Well quite a number of things!
As I stated in the first post on here I've uploaded since 2021, I've been working on constructing a website for the second half of last year and save for a few final finishing touches, I'm slated to go live with it during the first quarter of this year! This site is mainly going to be a hub for hosting all the comics I'm going to have going forward! From one-shots, to long-form narratives, it's all gonna be at this easy to find domain instead of trying to hunt me down across infinite platforms. I'm still going to be doing my best to maintain a renewed presence here and other sites, but that's going to be the "headquarters" so to speak!
And we won't be starting out things empty handed on a barren site mind you, oh no. To kick things off the first comic to be uploaded in full on there is going to be: Step-Monster! And not just the first volume that started it all folks, the long awaited Volume II is going to drop to wrap things up. 5 full new chapters to conclude the story of Matilda, the Millers, Roy, and their tale of circumstance, parenthood, trust, and love. Hard dates for these chapter's release will be coming soon, and teasers will drop as well so keep your ears to the ground! As the deviation that went up was titled: "Big Things" are indeed coming! I can't wait to finally bring you folks along for the ride on the stories and ideas I've been sharing pictures of online for so long. The time is here! It's time for comics! Time for stories!
I want to extend a massive thank you to everyone who has continued to follow, support, and encourage me during this loose "hiatus" of sorts. To hear through other folks that people are constantly bringing up and talking about Step-Monster even in this period of abesnce has done nothing but inspire me to get serious. Because if this is you folks when I'm not making comics I can't imagine what things are gonna be like when we get the ball rolling! Stay tuned everyone!
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Reading TGCF: Chapter Ten
For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.
I truly wish I could say this was a different tea, but from now on unless I state otherwise it's probably masala chai.
Body update: I feel less like trash than yesterday, but my right arm did take a hit LOL. Thankfully my hip is doing a lot better too so sitting is much better. (I'm not even a writer or specifically a writer on ao3, yet, it feels like I have the ao3 curse).
Nevertheless- onwards to chapter ten!
Immediately Xie Lian is here using his body to protect San Lang! You tell Fu Yao! p329
I should have waited one more sentence LOL. "Because...if I stand next to him, the snakes wont come". p329
omg. There is a 6th person in the pit and I am still not sold that that kid (a-zhao) is actually dead. I'm still thinking about the garden face man and what he was saying. p331
WTF- General Pei jr?? p333
okay! But now I need to know General Pei jr.'s motivation for destroying a whole city! p335
ofc Xie Lian knew General Pei jr from when he was General Hua. Who does this man not accidentally know? p336
Jeeze. Banyue's people were going to strap bombs to themselves if they lost. This is wild. Based on the history between the two warring countries I really don't think there was hope for a peaceful end. pp337-338
Oh yay! we finally get to meet the two cultivators from the street! Also that art is absolutely stunning, I love them both so much. I do hope we meet them again. pp341-343
Oh no! The entire time they have been running from her (The Wind Master) thinking she was evil as shit but she was actually trying to help them. p343
Dang this makes sense. General Pei jr couldn't just murder people directly because of his position. So, instead he lured them to their deaths (snake deaths, pit deaths, but definitely not him killing them technically!). This is some dictatorship misuse of power shit with full technical deniability for this guy. Gross. p345
Xie Lian had me suspicious about the wind master too, but thank fuck Banyue was let go for her good deeds. p347
Bro just wants to do the right and good things but heavenly politics are too much. He is definitely going to offend everyone at some point. p350
Whos cutting onions?? My heart at this small child who decided they would be building Xie Lian a large temple when they got home :'3 I'm totally normal about this. p352
The speed in which Nan Feng fled when Xie Lian offered to make food LOOOL Nan Feng: oh no, so sorry, my basement is on fire, and flooded, definitely need to leave right at this moment. Terribly tragic. p353
eeeeeeeeeeeeeep! "I still prefer the name 'San Lang'" p354
ONE CHAPTER LEFT!
Now the question is, how will mxtx ruin my life in the last chapter of this book?
I do own book 2, BUT I think tomorrow I will order the third in celebration of finishing book 1. I might do this the last chapter of each book to prep for more reads.
#bloopitynoot reads tgcf#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#mxtx#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#hua cheng#san lang#the wind master is kind of cute tho ngl#she feels very good vibes only#i'm not even mad about it though
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2025 wips
thank you for the tag @anincompletelist <3
i am a perpetual too-many-wips disaster so i'm always grateful for an opportunity to lay out what i'm working on.
malex pretty woman au (roswell new mexico)
my next big project is the malex pretty woman au. alex is the rich, detached businessman, michael is captivating in tiny blue shorts and thigh high boots. do you see the vision? i need to make a banner and pick a title!
(i make ONE comment to @bigassbowlingballhead about craving a certain type of fic and suddenly i'm being enabled into my next longfic đ). i am genuinely so excited about this one. i've got about 5k written and the whole fic is plotted. i'm thinking this will be in the 25-30k range? maybe? honestly jon is better at estimating my word counts than i am so who knows. still not sure if i'll finish writing this one and then edit and post chapter by chapter or what i'll do, but i think i'll be able to get this one up this year.
firstprince exes (rwrb)
if i have another big project in me i would LOVE to finish my outsider pov firstprince exes fic. i love love love this weird little fic but it is a real challenge to write.
sequels & additional chapters
part 3 of conformation (rnm) will be just alex and michael after their fun with maria at the club. maybe alex will make good on his idea of tying michael up and seeing how much he can take. i could write millions of words of sub!michael please do not tempt me.
chapter 3 of after hours (first prince/rwrb) aka mechanic alex will be alex and henry's first date.
one shots
come back inside is a malexa morning after the airstream scene fic...what if michael convinced alex to stay? this is probably more than half written. malexa my beloved đ
hunting guide au (tknp, men's hockey rpf). tk hires pat for a guided hunt with his young daughter.
these might not happen đ
shadow is a buddie fic that was gonna be a big bang fic (which will never happen) but i *could* finish and post the first few chapters as a one shot. featuring baby eddie having his mind blown by a slightly older, extremely gay buck at a college party while visiting his sister.
i wanna be adored is an elliott/marco, marco gets dropped into crystal valley fic that i've written about 5k for but can't quite get to do what i want. when i started writing it there were no kissingchambers fics, but there are lots now! so if you like them you should probably just read those bc this bad boy probably won't see the light of day even though i've got about 5k written.
dumotanger omegaverse college au (men's hockey rpf) - y'know i really love this one and i am unhinged about dumotanger but i think there's just something missing here that i haven't been able to figure out. i'd love to finish it if i do though! i've got maybe 3k written.
okay those are the ones with something significant written. i have LOTS of other abandoned wips and ideas, plus i always like to do some kind of short prompt series. i haven't done femslash february in a while so maybe i could write a few ficlets for that? maybe do some shuffle prompts again? hmmm. we'll see, we'll see.
my askbox and dms are always open for questions about my fic, wips, ideas, etc. <3
open tag for anyone with wips they wanna share!!!
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Regina cuts her off, her stomach roiling. âYou talk about me with Henry?â Emma shrugs. âYou come up sometimes. He really does care about you. And I think you care about him.â âYou think?â Regina demands, and her fists tighten. âYou think?â Emma turns away from her, focuses on Henry on his swing. Regina follows suit, letting the sight of him calm her. Heâs going higher and higher, and he kicks off his shoes when heâs at the top of the swing, sending them flying across the playground. Itâs so normal, so much like a scene from a year ago, before everything had fallen apart. âI wasnât sure,â she says. âI didnât know if youâŠif you saw him as something to have. Or if you really loved him.â Regina seethes. Something in her chest withers and dies. Sheâs furious. She isnât hurt, because she will never give Emma Swan the power to hurt her again. âThis town still stands only because Henry is inside of it. And you think that I donât love him?â Emma doesnât respond to the threat, which had been stupid and will set Reginaâs time with Henry back again, sheâs sure. âYou didnât kiss him. When he wasâŠafter he ate that turnover. You didnât even try to kiss him awake.â Regina had sat in the hospital room and wept, had felt the world falling apart around her, and no, she had not kissed Henry as Emma had. How arrogant it is, to believe that a kiss can work magic. How privileged it is for the laws of the world to break only for you. âI am no Charming,â she spits. âI donât get beautiful fairytales, and I donât expect them. Forgive me for being a realist.â Emma is silent. When Regina turns, Emma is watching her again, and there is a lingering something in her eyes. Not quite pity, not quite sorrow. But understanding, and Regina hates seeing it more than anything else. Hates the way that her heart leaps, and the next few breaths hitch and donât emerge right.
#i Cannot post fic before i finish the whole thing bc i donât have regular fic writing time rn!!!#but i finished the first chapter of this and i just wanted to share a lil đ„ș#how do we feel about hanahaki with a devastating twist đ€#ANYWAY got a new assignment thatâs gonna take over my life but this story wonât let go of me so iâll be back!!!#swan queen#vintage s2 for y'all <3
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So here we are
...again
#a preview for next week#because i'm losing my mind over the next chapter#in the best way#i wrote this chapter last fall with no intention of it ever seeing the light of day#i was just having fun writing for them and getting to know them#the word 'again' has a link to my first post of the two of them#the photo i took right after finishing this chapter the first time#it felt fitting to recreate it now#as time went on i really wanted to share their whole story#and then i heard this song and it sparked inspiration for this entire arc#every time i hear the intro i see this image of the two them walking together#so it was fun to finally create it#it's so simple.. nothing special really.. but meaningful to me nonetheless yknow#for me... sharing this chapter now feels like a full circle moment#even tho we're only half way through this arc lol#anyway.. i hope you enjoy this week's chapter as much as i've enjoyed writing it and bringing it to life#enjoy the good feels while they last lol#đđ©”#aries outtakes#atlas extras#asher extras#spotify
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover đ„șđ„ș#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawaâ#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the worldâ#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground đđđ Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#âWow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!â *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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Every time a new newsletter comes out I know I'm one of the few people who gets excited to find out the game won't be coming out any time soon. At this rate I might actually be able to finish Part 3 of Looking Glasses before it comes out, which would be ideal.
#when I first started the comic I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to get to the wellworld before Chapters 3 & 4 came out#so I'm glad to have surpassed that goal#so my new goal is finishing Part 3#I'm sure there will be a ton of cool stuff in the new chapters that I'll want to engage with#but if bits of it really contradict my comic that would be sad#so I want to get as much finished before then as possible#for now I'll just keep on trucking#(I actually have some exciting Looking Glasses news to share soon)#nickel for my thoughts
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I am stuck in such a rough place at the moment
Because like right now, I want to rant about how I view Dan Feng and Yingxingâs potential dynamic based on my interpretation of Dan Feng and Yingxing given the bits of characterization of them that we have
But at the exact same time, Iâm literally planning the Yingxing lifespan fic that would include all of this information conveyed through events and dialogue within the fic that paint the picture I have in my mind of their dynamic
However, also Iâm gonna be starting the fic from when Yingxing is a literal child being picked up by Huaiyan so getting to the point when I can finally show off that dynamic is going to take SO long and Iâm so impatient
I donât know what to do ToT I need to scream about them, I love them
#i have very specific feelings about them#to the point that i dont actually ingest much fan content of them#bc to no ones fault it doesnt match how i see them#which again is no ones fault its just how i personally see them#but i want to scream about it so bad#to see if anyone does share or to just get it out and air that out#but like AHHH#I want to put it in the fic and I dont know if screaming about it before will end up ruining the experience#bc i have like so many important scenes crafted and summarized and thought out#for the whole course of their relationship#and it genuinely makes me so emotional thinking about#PLANNING THIS FIC IS RUINING ME#I JUST AANT TO SCREAM ABOUT IT BUT I CANT#when I have the first chapter finished I am blasting it everywhere idc#hsr#honkai star rail#yingxing#dan feng#xingyue
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7 up :âą)
@spindrifters + @drownedlove ty 4 the tags!!
rules: post 7 (or more) lines of a wip you've been working on
here are 7ish lines from the still-untitled werewolf fighting ring au aka. the only wip i have been working on lmao
âYou donât get to do that,â he spits, as if the words have gone sour on his tongue, âYou donât get to play Saint Sirius and start making decisions as if itâs ever been your goal to protect me. I am not your fucking pet, Black, and Iâm not going to play your little game and roll over and let you save me. If you actually cared about me risking my life, youâd give me enough of the fucking money you have rotting in your Gringotts vault so that I wouldnât have to. But you havenât, and you wonât, because we both know that none of this is actually about me or my safety. Itâs just about you wanting to know that thereâs an animal out there more fucking trapped than you are!â
no-pressure tags: @steelycunt @mayescapade @mayzarbewithyou @fruity-individual @suspendedinbush @pretentiouswreckingball @twisted-tales-told if any of u would like to!! :âą)
#this wip went from. 22k words to 34k words this weekend. so#think i am slowly reaching the point of acceptance where i put the zombie fic on indefinite hold instead of telling myself#that i will finish it first#and instead start posting this one once i finish like. the first 6 chapters#aka Part I#and also once i think of a title#and also once i email my beta reader in shame and say heyyyyyy so i have this new wip....#but anyway! this is literally all ive wanted to write for like. 3 months at this point i think it's time to accept#that it has just become my main wip#and is getting 2 the point where i want 2 start sharing it#sad day 4 zombie fic fans happy day for wfrau fans i suppose lmao#wfrau#tag game <3
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6, 12, 30 for the writing asks ^_^
6. Whatâs the last line you wrote?
Shaking its head in what seems like disbelief before meeting his eyes again, almost like it wants to say something before it makes a noise like a growl, "oh, you're one of those seraphs, aren't you. A star-eater. No wonder you act like you've lost your mind."
(ignore that that's a couple sentences, the Thought is important)
12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?
Oh yes! I outline my fics thoroughly. Though, I do allowed myself to deviate as much from the outline as I feel like when things go off the rails. Some snippets of planning from a couple fics & concepts:
My outlines are very... One for one. With some exceptions. I tend to basically write a very brief version of the fic and try to get the feelings and words right before I actually write it. This is... Also why it can and will take me a month to write a oneshot. I try to get things Right.
30. How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?
So! I edit them a bit? I edit while I work, but often I don't really touch anything I've already written unless it's something longer that might be taking a few months to get through. I think the fic I've edited the most is the prologue of Artificial Stars, which was originally a quickly written 2k oneshot into about 5k of actually decent fic.
Usually I don't edit to make something shorter/more concise, since I tend to only come up with more ways to bridge concepts when I go back to it. Also to be fair... There's usually no difference between first draft and final product. I cannot be asked to edit my fics after I write them, I just release them to the birds and pray for the best. (Unless I actually decide to show it to my beta reader in full instead of just sharing snippets as I... usually do.)
Conclusion: Rarely, those thangs are being given to the world as-is unless something is horrifically wrong with them
#ask a ghost#asker: solxr-planet#ask game#i get a little silly sometimes but also uhhhHH!! welcome to several things i havent posted about before#grey notes is an oc thing that will never be finished but i still have the line-by-line dialogue between two characters that is.#kind of how i plan dialogue? at least how i outline it.#i'm super picky with it and i plan stuff so much that you can usually tell pretty quickly when something isn't planned#ALSO!#scene titles!#nobody sees them ever but theyre there for me and me alone#usually theyre song lyrics or something i think is important to the concept but also other times theyre just kind of silly#âall the candy you can eatâ is a song title from one of my favorite albums.#honestly i think this is the first time i've shared anything of my writing that is even remotely roshambo-centric#i am still learning how i want to write & characterize him so its a bit funky#haunted bookshelf#purely for the random stuff that's in there#also! i started breaking things up into scenes rather than just chapters and it helped a hell of a lot with my process#since it's easier to divide when there's a lot potentially happening in a chapter of something#or even just in a oneshot#my process is. definitely made for the way i write. i don't think i would ever recommend anybody do what i do with my fics#also yes i could actually just edit my plans and call that a fic because really that is the effort i put into them.#theoretically you could call my outline my first draft because really that is the way that it is
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what is in the air that is making writing the wip i forgot about for months suddenly so easy to continue right now? the words are floating out of me; i am simply a vessel for the ghost of some late writer at this point. because i genuinely can't believe that i'm actually writing AND that what i'm writing right now is actually good.
#do these words make sense or am i just typing random letters#i can't tell#i think i forgot how to read#definitely didnt forget how to write though#im actually so impressed with myself#if this wasn't just me writing to procrastinate on doing more important things#I ACTUALLY ALMOST FINISHED WRITING AN ENTIRE CHAPTER#WHICH IS WILD TO ME#because writing more than 200 words in one sitting is usually an impenetrable feat#but boy am i on fire!!#somebody call the fire department to put me out!!#actually dont because i want to keep writing like this#these tags are getting out of hand#but i doubt anyone is reading them#OK BACK TO MY GOOGLE DOC#google vs sleep deprivation let's see which one takes me out first#I JUST FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO ΩΩ ON MY COMPUTER?? just thought i'd share#that's all#ok#bye
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I MISS WRITING SO BAD !!!!!
#lakes thoughts#like#i hope u guys know i havent been updating my fics NOT bc i dont want to#but bc i just. havent been able to write#and i feel awful about it. i do.#i miss being able to churn out chapter after chapter like it was nothing (not that it *was* nothing but ykwim?)#i miss updating and sharing my ideas and plots#i had a whole summer thing i was going to do and was so excited to do but never finished the first part of jt#and so it has stayed in the drafts and im so sad about it#i want to write. i really really do. i just. idk !!!!!!!#thank u to everyone being patient with me#im just very sad abt this rn
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I feel accomplished because this week while I was at work during my free period, I wrote apparently about three pages worth of dialogue that I'd left in my WIP as "[insert more dialogue here later]" and I was able to tie it in to the rest of it (as in, what I'd already written after the "[insert more dialogue here"]), and while there are still places in my WIP where I was like "[add something else specific here?]" it means I'm done with that first...whatever it is, of my current WIP. (I still haven't decided if I'm writing just, like, individual parts of this WIP, or if they're chapters, or what. Most of them are super fucking long so I have NO IDEA what to call them. To call them chapters doesn't seem accurate given how long they are, so...parts?! I GUESS?! I'm not writing a novel, but I've also never written a novel before anyway and it shows.)
#when I'm lonely in a world of my own#WOW I have 31 pages of some very self-indulgent bullshit I'll never share with anyone!#er sorry that's 31 pages of the first...part or whatever it is. I've written at least 50 pages of other chapters/parts/#scenes and other stuff that happen well after this first part/whatever it is. LOL#but then again there is a gap of over a year (in story) after this first part/whatever and the next chapters/parts/whatevers. so...#I keep thinking about sharing some of it here under a self-conscious 'keep reading' but I've been re-reading it since I finished it#last night and I'm probably being way too critical but I'm also like 'this is too self-indulgent. no one would even want to read this.' lma#(bless you if you think you do want to read it. but I can assure you that you do not. but maybe I'll be brave...I just won't say when...)
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