#but i felt like i needed to get the whole story out

[hongjoongspoetry]

I am so ready for this series to see daylight omg!

I don't even know where to start, to be honest. You really know how to make me feel like I'm in the exact setting as the characters. The warmth of the coffee shop mirroring Mingi's personality when he gives the MC a drink, him checking up on her, the little brush of their fingers, her asking him about his glasses, her fixing his glasses for him — it’s so domestic, but with an undertone of complexity that we are still in the dark about. You don't call someone a friend who would defy gravity for your sake 😭 Also, through the first few paragraphs we can evidently see how good relationship they have, just by them knowing each other's every move, fussing and worrying about one another, it's very cute and I like how you didn't need a whole backstory to capture the weight of their "friendship".

Another thing I love about your stories, your MCs are never dull. They always have interests or occupations that are new or "unusual". I don't think I've ever read a fanfic where the MC makes jewellery for a living (that could just be me not being good at finding fics, but I stand by my words!)

“Buy some butter-flavoured popcorn, I forgot to grab some yesterday.” Mingi nodded as he unlocked the door, playfully tugging on my pinkie when I went to open it. I glanced back with raised eyebrows and he shrugged, looking down to the floor like a kicked puppy. I chuckled and squeezed his pinkie back, pulling my hand away as I finally pushed the door open, “Don’t pout, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

Fuck, these two will be the end of me and we're not even that far into the first chapter 😭

She had untameable ginger hair and fiery red lips, her earrings always colourful hoops and her outfit the colours of the rainbow. She was full of energy and life, filling the shop with her radiance much like the sun filled our hearts on a cold winter day. I loved working with her, she saw beauty in everything and offered anyone a chance when they felt useless or good for nothing.

Girl, did you just pull a Stan Lee moment on us and include yourself in your fic? Because if you did, you're a genius and this is amazing 🩷

The whole scene where they are first watching a movie and cuddling together on the couch then making out is so sweet and domestic, and I think it's so funny how the MC refers to Mingi as a good friend. I'm really intrigued on what Mingi's view of this whole relationship/friendship is, and if he sees the MC as a friend too? I doubt it, but I mean, it's still the first chapter so I can't really draw any conclusions. All I know is that the MC has been through stuff and needs time to figure out what she wants/needs on her own, but Mingi is a bubble she can get lost in and not worry about other things. Yet that will probably only hold for so long because she will have to face these things sooner or later, and I wonder what support Mingi will give her then?

A great first chapter, Ari 🩷 I'm really excited to see what the other chapters will have in store for the MC and Mingi. This is just the beginning and I can't wait to see more of their friendship/relationship progress through the chapters. I'm already dying for the domestic setting and couple like exchanges between them, like I need more.

Every time I see you...chapter 1 ↰

...my throbbing heart rate spikes up

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

☆ Warning: none ☆ Word count: 5.3k ☆ Rating: sfw ☆ Genre: slice of life, established situationship, post university setting, fluff ☆ Summary: There was nothing exclusive between the two of you, but somehow you didn't mind being in Mingi's arms, in his presence. A day spent well gets rewarded by a movie night with the person you're the most fond of.

☆ Visuals ☆ 

M.list

A/N: And so, the first chapter is here! It's a slow ease into their relationship, it will pick up as we proceed, I promise. I hope you find it intriguing, let me know what you thought of this part, I'm curious to hear your opinions! I think this is very different from what I usually write, but soft!Mingi is so dear to me that I sob anytime I write for this series LMAO. The Mingi from this story is canon Mingi, and you can't convince me otherwise lol. Next chapter coming next week around this time! ^^ Check out the vision board I made for this story, as well as Giselle's Dopamine song! Taglist is open for the story! Enjoy! ^^ divider

Taglist: @spicxbnny @hongjoongspoetry

🎧 𝘭 𝒹𝜎𝑛’𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝛼 𝓂𝛼𝑛, 𝒿𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝛼𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝜎𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 / Ⴘ𝑒𝛼ℎ, 𝑦𝜎𝑢 ℓ𝜎𝜎𝑘 𝑠𝜎 𝑔𝜎𝜎𝒹 𝑠𝑡𝛼𝑛𝒹𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑒𝘹𝑡 𝑡𝜎 𝓂𝑒 / 𝛮𝑒𝘹𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝘭 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝐷𝜎𝑝𝛼𝓂𝑖𝑛���� / 𝘊𝛼𝑛’𝑡 ℓ𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝜎𝑢 𝑐ℓ𝜎𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝜎 𝓂𝑒 🎧

            The scent of ground coffee was potent as the grinder disturbed the otherwise serene atmosphere of the modest coffee shop, located in the heart of the city, right under a publishing company. Thus, it was famous among bookworms, office workers, or high school students who loved to skip their last class of the day, the school was located just a bit further up on the street. I loved this area because it was always busy, littered with people and various shops on both sides of the boulevard, housing hidden gems and other popular hot spots like the Moon & Stars Coffee Ground coffee shop that Mingi worked at part-time. His back was turned to me as he worked the coffee grinder, his exposed biceps bulging as he screwed the top of the lid back shut, finally stopping the grinder. Silence fell upon the coffee shop once again, giving way to the quiet jazz music playing through the speakers. Mingi had the opening shift today, the shop wasn’t opened yet, but I had a few privileges by being his friend, so, I was allowed in as long as I helped with dusting the tables off and changing the flowers which were withering away in the small, cute, orange vases placed on top of each round table.

The coffee shop was an explosion of colours, the walls painted a deep green with low-hanging retro chandeliers that gave the place a moody vibe even during the day. Plants weren’t scarce either, giving the air inside a much-needed refresh from the polluted air coming from the outside. Abstract paintings hung on the wall from artists even I didn’t know, and the counter I was leaning against was a deep maroon, sturdy and able to withhold a few splashes of the drinks placed atop it. A few delicacies were displayed in the window to my left, most of them were still being baked in the kitchen located straight behind the counter, and I picked at the leaf of the small plant absentmindedly as Mingi’s silver rings collided against the shaker he used to combine different coffee grounds. The sun was just rising on the horizon, coating the inside of the coffee shop in an orange hue, a single sunray falling onto Mingi’s dark brown hair, making it appear lighter than it was. I continued watching him in silence, my eyes still heavy from having woken up not even an hour ago.

The world was still quiet outside, but those who started their jobs early or had to travel longer were out and about, all quiet and not bothering each other as they walked down the sidewalks. The coffee shop had half an hour before it would open, and by that time I would be gone, headed to the store I worked at. We were lucky that our workplaces were relatively close to each other, if we were in a hurry, we could make the walk last roughly ten minutes. The thought of having Mingi just around the corner was comforting for some reason, perhaps knowing that if I texted him that I needed him for something, he’d come running around the corner brought a sense of security with itself. I was used to having Mingi by my side, ready to drop everything if I needed his help or assistance with something. He was a good friend, dependable and trustworthy, loyal beyond what could be considered healthy. I smiled as Mingi lightly swayed his hips to the music, the dark green apron tied around his waist accentuating the tininess of it. The sweet scent of salted caramel made saliva gather in my mouth, and I knew Mingi’s intention before he had even turned around.

“You haven’t dozed off, sleepyhead?” He asked with a chuckle, his voice quiet and a deep rumble in his chest. It had always been like that, gravely with a rasp to it, yet warm in tone and used with gentleness. Mingi wasn’t the type of person to shout, perhaps if he got too excited his voice would raise a few octaves as he was carried away by his exhilaration, always eager to share it with someone as his eyes sparkled like the stars on a clear stary night.

“Not yet,” I answered, chin resting in my palm as Mingi leaned his hip against the counter, searching for the right lid for the cup he held, “It would be a bit difficult while standing up, I’m not like you.”

That made Mingi chuckle as he threw me an amused glance, his heavy and sharp eyes friendly as they crinkled at the ends. He found the right lid for the cup and placed it on top of it, pressing down thrice to make sure he had placed it on correctly. Then, he slowly pushed the warm container towards me and I smiled, accepting the coffee wordlessly. Our fingers brushed together and I felt a rush of warm tingle through my hand, making my smile widen as did Mingi’s, his eyes becoming smaller with the action.

“Thank you,” I muttered as I raised the sweet coffee to my lips, taking a cautious sip since it was still hot. Mingi hummed, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and his taut chest muscles pulled at the form-fitting white tee he wore. It was warm inside the coffee shop, but I wondered how his exposed arms weren’t covered in goosebumps yet. My cardigan was warm, yet I didn’t look forward to when I’d have to step outside into the crisp morning air once again. Mingi’s necklaces were nicely layered, his outfit simple but put together with a good eye for fashion, “Did you forget your glasses at home once again?”

Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and he reached up with a hand to touch the bridge of his tall nose, having to check physically that his glasses were missing or not. I shook my head with amusement as I took a small sip of the salted caramel-infused drink, “Seems like you are the sleepyhead.”

“No, it’s here,” Mingi argued, leaning down and reaching forward, arm getting lost in the counter as he felt around for his glasses. His thick eyebrows furrowed, and from his position, they framed his eyes, making his already sharp features sharpen even more. He liked wearing his hair brushed back and out of his eyes lately, the length not quite ready to require a cut, but annoying enough to make Mingi complain about it every once in a while, “See?”

He stood up straight, his height almost intimidating as he leaned forward, shaking the glasses in front of my face before he wore it, the rim thick, boxy, and black. The shape suited his face and softened the intimidating features he was born with, making him look cute. I reached forward, hip digging into the counter, to push the glasses further up on his nose because he had a habit of looking above the glasses instead of through like he was supposed to. Mingi pouted at the action but leaned into my touch, his plush lips jutted out reminding me of our adolescent days when he was nothing but a sulky boy, hating his round-rimmed glasses and always complaining about his school uniform, which didn’t fit him because it was a hand me down. It had taken a few years of maturing for Mingi’s muscles to grow out, strengthened by Pilates, his guilty pleasure as he liked saying. The few classes I accompanied him had me convinced that Pilates was invented for those who craved to have their muscles burning for days, a sort of masochism that I found no joy in.

“You should wear it more often,” I noted, raising an eyebrow as Mingi playfully rolled his eyes, “before your eyesight worsens, of course.”

“Right,” He mock-saluted, leaning just a bit over the counter to be closer to my face, “You’re starting to sound more like my mother each day, Y/N, it’s a bit freaky.”

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, reaching out to flick his forehead, but he knew me too well and dodged my inoffensive attack in time. But before I could retract my arm, he grabbed my wrist with his large hand and brought it down to the counter, gently keeping it in place as his larger hand caged mine against the surface. It was a small effort to make physical contact and I didn’t hate it, I rather enjoyed the small moments of intimacy we could share freely when it was just the two of us. Mingi was an affectionate person, he didn’t shy away when he needed a hug or just a little bit of support, arms wide open and eyes soft as he batted his long eyelashes at you. I hummed and basked in the peace that enveloped us around, something we both enjoyed on quieter days. There was no need for loudness or boisterous behaviour, we already knew who the other was, and there was no need to show off anything.

“Let me play the role of a concerned mother for a bit longer, then,” Mingi snorted, glancing at the clock on the wall to make sure he didn’t keep the coffee shop closed for longer than the program said, “Did you start your research on your final coursework?”

Mingi liked to stay ahead of his assignment deadlines, but sometimes laziness got to him like to any other person. But he hated having to hurry and half-ass his work so that rarely happened. Unless he was loaded with coursework, his assignments would be handed in weeks before their deadline.

“Yes and no,” Mingi sighed, his soft fingertips gently tracing my skin, “I’m supposed to meet with my coordinator this week so that we agree on a subject, I have too many ideas to choose from and I know he’s not fond of research that goes past the twentieth century.”

I nodded, taking a larger sip of my coffee, I could already feel it rejuvenate me, the sleep was gone from my eyes and my body felt less sluggish. It’s a wonder I even managed to get out of bed today, “And let me guess, you want something that deals with the nineteenth century, huh?”

“You know me too well,” Mingi chuckled with a shake of his head, taking his hand off mine as he reached out, swiping his thumb over the corner of my mouth. I looked down at my cup of coffee and ignored the skip of my heartbeat, my cheeks feeling a bit warmer than before, “Maybe I’ll manage to convince him, who knows…what about your day? Do you have a lot of work to do?”

“Not that much, we got three commissions this weekend for five pieces, I’m hoping to get the larger necklace done today,” I answered, glancing at the clock on the wall, and realised I’d have to leave in five minutes if I wanted to make it to the store before it opened.

“You’re always quick, I’m not worried about it.” Mingi winked with a bit of a struggle and I smiled, humming because I knew he was right. I had been making jewellery for a long time now, I was becoming faster and faster at crafting lately, it was rather a blessing since we could have plenty of orders coming in on busier days.

“I’m going to go now,” I said as I grabbed my bag off the floor, throwing it around my shoulder as Mingi nodded, grabbing the keys to come and unlock the entrance door for me, “Are you coming over tonight?”

“Yeah, want me to bring anything?” Mingi asked as he came around the counter and linked our pinkies together while we walked to the door. I quickly did a mental check if I had everything we’d need for our movie night, then remembered that I was out of popcorn…the most important snack of the night.

“Buy some butter-flavoured popcorn, I forgot to grab some yesterday.” Mingi nodded as he unlocked the door, playfully tugging on my pinkie when I went to open it. I glanced back with raised eyebrows and he shrugged, looking down to the floor like a kicked puppy. I chuckled and squeezed his pinkie back, pulling my hand away as I finally pushed the door open, “Don’t pout, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

Mingi hummed as he came to the door and leaned against it as I exited, giving me a small smile, “See you, have an easy day.”

“You too, Mingi.” I waved before turning around to head down the street, which was slowly filling up with cars and people as the city awoke, the sun higher in the sky. I could feel Mingi’s eyes on the back of my head, and I didn’t have to turn around to know he’d stay in the doorway, watching me until I crossed the crosswalk and turned the corner, disappearing from sight. The thought of having someone who cared for my safety and looked out for me wasn’t too bad, but I thrived on my independence and wouldn’t have struggled if Mingi wasn’t so sweet to look out for me. Even so, the lingering warmth in my chest due to his attentiveness wasn’t too disheartening.

            By noon, the city had fully awoken and was bustling with restless people going on about their day. The jewellery store I worked at was on a side street, so, we were away from the rambunctious traffic and the impatient drivers that honked their car’s horns at the smallest inconvenience. That didn’t mean, however, that our store was one filled with quiet and calm, it was quite the opposite if our clients proved to be teenage girls looking for beaded friendship bracelets, or colourful rings with gemstones of which attributes they didn’t know about so they asked me or my boss, who was a lovely lady in the forties. She had untameable ginger hair and fiery red lips, her earrings always colourful hoops and her outfit the colours of the rainbow. She was full of energy and life, filling the shop with her radiance much like the sun filled our hearts on a cold winter day. I loved working with her, she saw beauty in everything and offered anyone a chance when they felt useless or good for nothing.

Her store, much like herself, mirrored the same brightness its owner carried. The walls were a light orange with yellowy rays painted on the opposite wall to the entrance, mimicking the warm sun beaming down on Earth through the clouds. Wooden shelves were set up across from the front desk, framing the walls with quirky designs that held the handmade jewellery we worked on day, and sometimes even at night. The floorboards were a rusty copper, and much to everyone’s surprise upon a first encounter with the store, a gorgeous Persian carpet was laid down with intricate design that just brought the aesthetic of the whole place together. The back room was small and hidden behind a beaded curtain right behind my back, offering a perfect escapade when the day was getting too long and the customers were too demanding. Incense always burned, coating the store in a woody scent that felt refreshing but sometimes nauseating if my boss left it on for too long, the ceiling fan thankfully dispersed the strong scent evenly.

The store wasn’t huge, but it felt inviting even upon one glance, and our customers felt cared for whenever they entered and we listened to their requests closely. Having landed this job was just as random as me deciding one day that I wanted to attend a Fine Arts course, focusing more on crafts and clay making. The few vases I had designed were displayed on the higher shelves where it was harder to reach and accidentally break them, my boss was more than happy to sell those too in her store. We both contributed with a little something of ours to the store and that’s why it worked out so nicely, just two fundamentally different people who enjoyed the same arts were brought together to attempt to make something beautiful and long-lasting.

I was tying the knot to the custom-made bracelet one of the teenagers had asked for when her friend walked up to the front desk, eyebrows furrowed and phone in her hand. She held two crystals in her palm, looking at them sceptically.

“Which one is the rose quartz?” She asked, her voice loud and a little rough as she let the crystals fall onto the glass counter. I glanced down at them and pointed at the clearer one on the left.

“That’s a clear quartz, the other one,” My burgundy nail pointed at the pinkish crystal, “is the rose quartz. Which one are you looking for?”

“Rose quartz,” She answered quickly, pushing at the rose quartz with narrowed eyes, “Is it true that it attracts love? Will I find a boyfriend if I wear it all the time?”

“Depends, are you a Taurus or Libra?” I asked as I leaned back in my chair, my boss was on her break and, meanwhile, she knew more about crystals, I had learned this and that from her throughout the years I’ve worked here.

“Not really…” The girl muttered as she shared a look with her friend, who had taken the bracelet I made for her to try it on. The strings I used were yellow and brown, a nice combination of colours, personally not my favourite, but it worked well with her complexion and it was also what she had asked for.

“Well, I heard it’s better if you have Venus in your chart if you want to wear a rose quartz,” I hummed, looking up at the ceiling in thought before I shrugged, “Rose quartz is good for emotional healing too, not just attracting love. But if you think it will help, you could try it out…”

“Do you believe it works?” The girl asked, her eyes just slightly widening. I chuckled, deciding to be honest with her.

“No, but that’s just me. Maybe it’ll work for you.” The girl just nodded, looking at her friend for another opinion. She just shrugged and told the girl to do whatever she wished. Their third friend walked up to the counter and told them that she wouldn’t buy anything today, so they could head out if everyone was ready to leave.

“I’ll buy it.” The girl said as she placed the crystal on the counter and I nodded, grabbing a small plastic wrap for her to store it in until she got home. I scanned the items and told the two girls the price of their purchase, watching them with amusement as they left the store in a hurry, words leaving their mouths in a hurry before they were even out of the store. I settled back into my chair and grabbed my bottle of water to take a gulp, my fingers aching just slightly from the various jewellery I had managed to make until now. The shop was rather busy today and my boss was excited as she whirled around, helping customers out with choosing items for themselves or as gifts.

My phone pinged before I could reach for it, and Mingi’s name lit up my screen as I unlocked it. I tapped on our messaging app and opened our conversation, gasping quietly when I was presented with a picture of a black and white spotted cat, emerald eyes staring curiously into the camera, head tilted to the side in wonder. Its ears were pointed backwards and I could practically hear Mingi cue at it. He loved kittens more than anything and had always wished to buy one, but he thought he was too busy right now to care for another little life besides his.

Mingi: Look how cute she is!! I’ve been feeding her for two weeks now, I’m 100% sure she knows who I am. I’ve named her Genie, isn’t she just so adorable? Me: Man, she really is adorable! I wish she was around when I’m at the shop, pet her in my place too! Genie because she grants wishes?

Mingi: Not more adorable than me, right?? I bet she’d love you too…but I’m her favourite, I just know it. I wanted to name her Greenie at first, but that felt weird. Genie, however, isn’t too bad. No reason for why I gave her that name, though… Me: I think she might be more adorable than you, Mingi… Wait until she meets me, you won’t be her favourite anymore, mister… Your mind sometimes is a mystical place, Mingi, I wonder what goes on inside of it

Mingi: Well, right now I’d like to be in your arms sitting on the couch or something… Something like…being the little spoon because I fall asleep faster when you wrap yourself around me… That’s what I’m thinking about right now instead of making sure I don’t burn the next batch of apple pies, do you want me to put some aside for tonight? Me: You are so cheesy, Mingi, anyone else would block you… I knew you liked being the little spoon, now I even have receipts of it, hah! I had muffins yesterday, so no thank you! Now stop texting and focus on your work, man. Mingi: Right, see you later, woman. Muawh

I chuckled and shook my head, setting my phone to the side with a smile on my face as I opened the new email we had gotten while I was texting Mingi. Seems like the week just started and we’d barely have any time to breathe between all these commissions.

            My living room was covered in darkness aside from the flashing lights of the TV, the movie playing at an acceptable volume to not disturb the neighbours or deafen us. The blanket was fluffy and draped over our legs, mine pulled underneath me while Mingi’s were propped up on the coffee table. His legs were long enough to reach it if stretched out, and I might have envied him for that for a long time. Our hands were intertwined underneath the blanket and placed on Mingi’s thigh, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing against my knuckle every once in a while. Our shoulders brushed together and I would shift around from time to time, to try and keep my ass from going sore. Mingi, on the other hand, had no issue keeping his initial posture for hours on end. The blackout curtains were drawn together to offer us privacy since I only lived on the second floor, and the butter-flavoured popcorn Mingi had brought had been long eaten.

We had been watching the movie in silence for over an hour now with the occasional commentary coming from Mingi about how cool Captain America was. No matter how many times we’ve seen this movie, it never got old or boring. Perhaps it was Chris Evans’ face that made the viewing more pleasurable, alongside Scarlett Johanson, but we were both pretty hooked on the plot despite knowing what came next. There were small easter eggs that we hadn’t noticed before, so there was always something new that one of us accidentally discovered during our rewatches. I felt warm all cosied up next to Mingi, a bit even sleepy as his familiar cologne eased my tense muscles after the long day I’d had. My wrists were sore from all the crafting at the store today, I had even brought home a bracelet that I had to finish for tomorrow. I was too tired to work on it now, but I could thankfully get it done in the morning in thirty minutes.

As if Mingi had read my thoughts, he grabbed my wrist with both hands and slowly started rubbing it, creating heat and gently massaging the tense muscles of my hand. I smiled and playfully grabbed at his fingers, making him chuckle under his breath as the Winter Soldier appeared on the screen for the first time, the car the characters had been using now nothing but a mess of scrapes. I could see Mingi angle his body towards mine from my peripheral, and he licked his plump lips before he cleared his throat.

“I’ve been thinking…” He started quietly, his forehead slightly creasing as his eyes bled into the side of my head. I turned my head away from the TV, familiar with the scene already. The light lit up Mingi’s face, his glasses creating a tiny shadow over his face as I raised my eyebrows at him to prompt him to continue, “So, we’ve both been working hard, and I could use a vacation before my last exams come up. I know I should be studying, but at this point, I feel like I could recite any textbook you hand me, I really need a break. You’ve also been working a lot, and you didn’t take vacation off last year, so…”

I hummed, curious as to where this was headed, “So?”

“Let’s get away for a few days, I’ve been looking for a nice little cabin somewhere in the mountains. Not too far though, I know you don’t like long car rides.” Mingi grabbed my other hand and started massaging that one too, making me sigh in contentment as my hands now tingled with warmth, the tenseness gone from them.

“Just the two of us?” I raised an eyebrow, the idea actually sounded appealing. I could use a break from the hustle and bustle of the city.

“Yeah, just us.” Mingi nodded, smiling a little as I contemplated his offer for a second. I would have to visit my mother before we left, and I’d have to let my boss know in time, but other than that, it sounded like a plan to me.

“Sure, I’d love that.” I smiled and Mingi’s eyes lit up, fingers intertwining with mine as he squeezed our hands together. I chuckled at his excitement and let my eyes run over his face, taking in the softness in his eyes and the curve of his gorgeous mouth. Something in my gut coiled as my hands continued tingling with electricity, and I licked my lips as I leaned forward, eyes set on Mingi’s parted lips. He mirrored my actions and leaned forward, closing the distance between us confidently. His lips were warm as always and faintly tasted like the marshmallows he kept stuffing himself with not even half an hour ago, another guilty pleasure he seemed to have. This one, however, I could understand and even support.

Our bodies leaned closer as I raised my free hand to hold his jaw, tilting his head slightly back so that our lips pressed together a bit firmer. Kissing him always brought a wave of excitement, an electrifying spark running up my spine as our lips moved languidly, taking their time since there was no reason to hurry. He was sweet and gentle even with his kisses, always allowing me to set the pace as his teeth nipped at my bottom lip, his long nose digging into my cheek. Mingi wasn’t a messy kisser but he had never shied away from a little saliva, and there was nothing he loved more than tracing his tongue against mine, sucking on it to deepen the kiss even more as he brought me halfway into his lap. Our hands parted as I grabbed his shoulder and swiped my tongue against his, a content sigh catching in the back of Mingi’s throat as his hand pressed into the small of my back, warm and burning through the fabric of my thin blouse. I could never get tired of his lips, sometimes kissing Mingi was so disorienting that we’d lose track of time, our lips almost as if glued to each other.

Inhaling through my mouth, I let Mingi press small kisses to my chin and mouth, muttering something I couldn’t understand before I captured his lips again, adding just a bit more passion into it as I felt a suffocating emotion build in my chest, heavy and demanding as if having Mingi like this wasn’t good enough. I had always craved more despite having everything I could ask from him, it seemed that I hadn’t been fully satiated just yet. It was a peculiar feeling, but I couldn’t ignore the fire and knot in my stomach anymore as he lapped at my tongue, his fingers gently holding my jaw as if he was afraid I’d slip away. Tonight was a slow evening, I was content with being in his arms, content in wrapping myself in a cocoon of safety that helped me forget the hardships the day had brought with itself. Pulling apart, I pressed a chaste kiss against his swollen lips and cradled his cheek, feeling how warm it was. Before I could completely pull back and sit back next to him, Mingi grabbed my arm as he readjusted himself on my spacious couch, opening his legs up so that I could sit between them. I climbed over his leg and settled down, adjusting the blanket around us so that it would keep his legs warm too as Mingi’s arms wrapped around my torso, nose nuzzling into my nape as he exhaled loudly.

“Do you think Natasha and Steve should’ve ended up together?” He asked quietly, mumbling it into my skin, and I laughed, looking back at the TV.

“I think they were too different for it to work out, and Steve was still in love with Peggie,” I answered truthfully, watching Chris Evans lean against the doorframe in nothing but a muscle white tee, a few bruises here and there, jeans, and a white towel to clean his hands in.

“I think Natasha would’ve been able to show him a new world, I wanted them together.” I didn’t have to look to know that Mingi was pouting, I could hear it in his voice.

“You say that every time we watch this movie.”

“Right, my thoughts won’t change on a random afternoon.”

I chuckled as silence fell upon us once again, wrapped around in the blanket and Mingi’s warmth, with his arms around my body, I felt the safest. It was a weird feeling that never developed into something I could completely understand, but there was something about Mingi’s presence that made me feel at ease, like the earth outside us would keep on turning around its axis and we wouldn’t miss out on anything because here, in each other’s arms, we had everything we needed. It was something I had never felt with anyone else, not even with my ex-boyfriend I thought I would end up marrying. There was something so gentle about the silence between Mingi and me, the understanding without spoken words, the warmth of a simple caress, the reminder that we were there for each other by the simplest things only made my chest tighten as the TV screen blurred, making me wonder whether I had gotten teary-eyed or just extremely sleepy.

Here in Mingi’s arms, in a dark living room lit up by the movie that we were watching for the nth time, I wondered if I could ever again trust that love existed, trust that there was indeed a person that was yours, meant to be with you without hurting you. I wondered if Mingi ever thought about it, if he wondered where his person was. Perhaps he didn’t care about such things and that’s why he wasted his days away by my side, smiling from ear to ear with glimmering eyes full of hope and something I could never truly understand. I grinned when I felt his feet rub against mine playfully, it was his way of letting me know that he wasn’t so lost in the movie that he wasn’t aware of me anymore. I sighed and relaxed into Mingi’s body, letting the doubtful thoughts and feelings simmer in a deep cavern of my heart for the rest of the evening.

 >> next chapter

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[wolfsclothing6]

Hey, love your stories! Could you write one about a guy who hates his body and buys a skin suit to become bigger and hairier? Maybe he doesn’t read the fine print, takes a hot bath, and gets stuck like that forever?

(Oh I like that idea and thank you for taking part of MorphoSkin Industries deluxe service)

Tobias Model #3224.

Package Arrived!

Okay, so I finally did it. After weeks of obsessing over the MorphoSkin Industries site, I pulled the trigger. My Deluxe Identity Series body suit arrived this morning, and let me tell you, the box was way heavier than I expected. They ship it in this sleek, all-black container with "MorphoSkin—A New You Awaits" printed in silver. Fancy.

Ripped it open, and there he was: Tobias Model #3224.

6'3", built like a truck, covered in thick body hair, and rocking a solid dad bod. Exactly what I wanted. Something bigger. Something different. My real self? 5'9", kinda scrawny, patchy facial hair that never grows in right. But Tobias? He’s got that rugged, burly look—hairy chest, thick forearms, the kind of guy who owns a flannel and actually looks good in it.

I found the instruction booklet (didn't read it, let’s be real) and just went straight for the good stuff

The inside of the suit was... weird. Cool to the touch, kind of like putting on damp silk, but it moved when I stretched it. I pulled it over my legs first, feeling them thicken as I stepped in. My thighs ballooned, my calves stretched, and when I flexed my toes, I felt calluses that weren’t mine.

I tugged it up over my stomach, and whoa. Instant gut. It even jiggled when I moved. I gave it a little slap—solid, thick. Damn.

Pulling the arms in was surreal. My fingers got beefier, veins popping under the skin, knuckles bigger, hair covering my forearms. The weight of it felt right, like I’d been in the wrong body my whole life.

And the face?

Lining it up took a second, but once it was on, I felt a sharp tingle from my scalp down my spine. My vision blurred, ears popped, and suddenly… I was Tobias. Deep brown eyes stared back at me in the mirror. A strong, squared-off jaw covered in thick stubble. My neck even felt thicker. I ran my hands through my now wild, unkempt hair and let out a deep, rumbling laugh that wasn’t mine.

"Holy shit."

After pacing around, flexing my new muscles, admiring the way my hairy stomach peeked out under my stretched-out shirt, I decided to celebrate the best way possible:

A long, hot bath.

I turned the water on full blast, watching steam fill the bathroom as I stripped off the last of my clothes. God, everything felt so heavy in the best way. My arms rested on my belly, fingers idly scratching at the coarse hair now covering my chest. This body was made for lounging.

Sinking into the water was heaven. The heat wrapped around me, seeping into my new muscles, making them ache in the most satisfying way. I stretched out, letting my thick fingers drag lazily over the surface of the water, feeling completely at peace.

I lost track of time. The steam, the warmth, the weight of this body settling in—it was perfect.

Eventually, I forced myself to stand, water sloshing off my broad frame. I grabbed a towel, rubbing it over my arms, my chest—except something felt… different.

The suit usually had a slight give to it, almost like a second layer of skin. But now? It wasn’t moving.

I frowned, pressing a hand against my stomach. No shift. No subtle detachment. Just me.

I moved to the mirror, wiping away the condensation. Tobias’ face stared back at me, as expected—but there was no seam, no subtle ridge where my real face should be beneath. I reached up, pressing at my jaw, my cheekbones, even behind my ears.

Nothing.

I tried pinching at my wrist, where I knew the access point was supposed to be. The skin didn’t budge. I dug my nails in harder, trying to find an edge, a weak spot—anything.

My breathing picked up.

"No. No, no, no—this was temporary. Just a temporary malfunction. I just needed to let it cool down, right?"

I paced the bathroom, my heavy footsteps thudding against the tile. My arms swung at my sides, the thick forearms, the hairy knuckles—it all felt too real now.

I snatched up the instruction booklet, my hands trembling slightly as I flipped through the pages. Then, I saw it:

"DO NOT EXPOSE SUIT TO EXTREME HEAT FOR EXTENDED PERIODS. High temperatures may cause permanent fusion with the host."

The booklet slipped from my fingers.

Permanent...

I looked back at the mirror, at the deep brown eyes that were no longer borrowed but mine. My broad shoulders, my thick-fingered hands. Tobias's body.

This was me.

I took a deep breath, watching my massive chest rise and fall. I ran a hand through my thick, unruly hair, scratching at the beard I hadn’t earned but now owned. My voice rumbled out in a nervous chuckle—except it wasn’t nervous.

It was satisfied.

I swallowed hard. Maybe this wasn’t the worst thing. I wanted to be Tobias, didn’t I?

[lavender-twilight23]

IMPROMPTU FANFICTION TED TALK

I’m gonna address something that I have thought about recently and then also give a little pep talk to anybody else that might be feeling this way or in a similar way:

Fanfiction is a valid form of expression and it’s okay to write fanfiction, no matter your age, no matter your life circumstance!

Recently, I’ve had doubts about whether or not I should still be writing fanfiction. I’m in my second semester of college, pursuing film, and I have plenty of original stories (three novels, four screenplays) floating around in my head that I keep telling myself I should get back into. But I still find myself feverishly writing fanfiction and pouring heaps of creative energy into that. And especially with how much fucking fanfiction I’ve written in the past six months, (over 201,000 words worth) I’ve had tons of thoughts like:

“You’re pursuing your passions, looking toward the future into your career ambitions, AT COLLEGE, and you’re STILL writing fanfiction?”

“It’s ridiculous how much fanfiction you’re churning out with all the original stories you have sitting in the back of your head that need to get written.”

“You’re wasting your time writing fanfiction, you should be investing your time into your original works, y’know, the things that are ACTUALLY gonna get released into the world one day.”

“You not gonna get paid for writing fanfiction– put more energy into writing the stories that you’ll actually end up getting paid to write rather than spending your time writing things that will only ever seen the light of a social media website.”

And shit like that. So I have thought recently: Why are you still writing fanfiction now that you’re taking active steps toward pursuing your dreams? Why are you writing THIS MUCH fanfiction when you should be spending your creative time working on your films/original novels?

Yep. So I guess some sort of guilt, or self-deprecation about writing fanfiction. And not just about the fanfiction writing itself, but also about HOW MUCH fanfiction I’ve been writing, to a point where I either 1) always have a project going, something I’m in the middle of, 2) always something next on my queue (I literally wrote a whole fanfic queue and color coded it to organize it for future fanfics and I have a huge-ass note on my phone/computer dedicated to recording/brainstorming ideas), or 3) spend more time in my fanfic-planning journal than taking notes for my college classes.

I’m doing well in classes and all that shit, but still, I find myself feeling bad that I write so much fanfiction, so to both combat that, and to give validation to others who might be hesitant about writing fanfiction as I've felt in the past:

IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY, IT’S VALID, AND YOU SHOULD KEEP DOING IT.

If it brings you joy, it has a purpose in your life. Fanfiction is just yet another way to express love for something you like, something you love, and that obsession comes out as passion, which has to be expressed, and it’s no different than drawing fan art, making edits, or even any hobby that ISN’T directly tied to a fandom.

If writing fanfiction is how you prefer to spend your creative time, then it has a place in how you live your life.

If it makes you happy and brings you joy, then it has a reason for being in your life.

Fanfiction has a purpose in your life, let it fulfill that purpose.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Carry on. ❤️🩷🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[s0urw00lf]

I gave a second chance to Cupid

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader

An: in honor of it being the month of love i wrote this inspired by the song cupid by FIFTY FIFTY. Because i think it fits Sam’s lover boy so much.

Supernatural master-list

Your love life was laughable. Being a hunter and finding a worthy guy was bad enough, and the ordinary guys you met were somehow worse. But it didn’t stop you for longing for love. The kind that made it into hallmark movies or those cute teenage love story books. Your heart clenched every tome you saw a couple out in public.

Any guy you dated in the past seemed to fuel your need for someone to love you the right way. Some nights you even cried in your motel rooms in hopes Cupid would send the right person your way.

You didn’t even know if it was in the books for you to experience love and that idea was what stung the most. But it didn’t stop you from hoping. You hoped to everything up above that you wouldn’t die without having experiencing what it felt like to be in love, and loved back and given the business you were in it could happen at any moment.

It seemed your hopes were answered when you met the Winchester brothers. More specifically the younger one, Sam. He was tall, and incredibly attractive, but not in a hot way like his brother more like in a cute way. Almost like a puppy, and his smile was enough to make you swoon like a high school girl who’d been asked to prom for the first time.

Your feelings for Sam were very obvious to him and even more so to dean who could also see the love Sam had for you. Dean loved seeing his little brother happily in love again after jess passed. Sam looked at you like you hung the stars, and he knew it. He couldn’t help falling in love with how happy you were all the time especially in your line of work, your bright eyes and adorable smile made everything better somehow.

When you and Sam finally got together you loved it. The feeling you had been longing for your whole life. Sam is a great lover, his little dates and notes he sat out for you when he went on runs. Coming home with food he knew you loved so he could surprise you with breakfast in bed.

“Here ya go honey” he placed your food on your lap. You let a giddy smile slip onto your face, “did you really drive forty-five minutes away to get me a chocolate and strawberry flavored pancake?” You asked tilting your head.

“Yep, it’s hard to find places that indulge in your weird food combos” he said. You rolled your eyes playfully “chocolate and strawberry are one of the most used food combos ever” you defended. He gave you a teasing smile “yeah, sure”.

You loved moments like this with Sam, he always knew how to make you feel loved and that was everything you could ask for and more.

[setmeatopthepyre]

WIP wednesday enabled/tagged-ish by @peapodbond & @geddyqueer <3 really felt like sharing this slice of antarct-fic. enjoy!

-

Katie slides the bottle towards him. “Drink up, kid. The rations don't carry over.”

Buck happily obliges. They drink in companionable quiet for a while, Katie occasionally providing commentary on the people coming and going or doing the rounds, telling Buck who they are, how long they've been coming to the Ice, pointing out the winterovers and the ones with interesting stories.

They're watching two pilots (“That's Hisham, helo pilot, third timer. Girlfriend's a kiwi, she's at Scott base. Other fella's one of the Canadians with Ken-Borek. Loïc, think it was. Fixed wing pilot. They tend not to get along.”) get into an argument that both men seem too tired to actually escalate, when Buck speaks up.

“Katie, have you ever been in love?”

She dangles her bottle from between her finger tips, eyes still on the argument unfolding. “Sure.”

He props his head up on his hand to look at her. “What happened?”

Katie levels her steely gaze at him but something she sees makes her soften a little. Shrugs. “She ran off to go study insular dwarfism in Madagascan chameleons. Left me behind.”

Buck's eyebrows raise along with the corners of his mouth. “Oh. S-so you're--”

She nods, taps her bottle against his. Leans in and mock-whispers, “There's more of us than y'think, kid. Even out here.” Considers it. “Perhaps especially out here. The Ice tends to attracts people like us.”

Buck watches her take a swig of her drink and lets the words sink in. “Wait, what do you mean, 'people like us?'”

Her pale eyebrows inch towards the edge of her bandana. “What do you think I mean, Buckley?” She gestures at herself. “The gays, the dykes, the-- whatever you are. You know. The queers.”

“Oh.” Something uncomfortable twists in his gut. “I-I'm not--”

Katie leans back, genuine surprise written across her face. “Well I'm sorry, kid. I could'a sworn last night you spent all of three beers waxing poetic about your helo guy.”

Buck makes a face. “W-well. He-- he's not my... but--”

“You're in love with this man, yeah?”

And he can't help the lovestruck smile that's tugging at the corners of his mouth, dips his head. “Yeah.”

“And you're a guy.”

“Uh, o-obviously.”

“So you're...” she gestures and Buck realizes he's supposed to finish the sentence. He shifts in his seat, discomfort gnawing at him.

“Yeah, I, uh. Yes, I-I guess that would make me...” he trails off, looks at her pleadingly, not sure if he wants her to give him all the answers or just drop the subject entirely.

“So, what, are you homophobic?”

Katie's raspy voice still carries, and Buck casts a panicked glance around the bar. Thankfully, no one seems to have heard her. Or they're really good at hiding it. “No! No. No, of-- of course not. I-I'm... I've always been an ally.”

She raises her eyebrows. “An ally who's in love with a man but can't even say out loud that he's... what? Gay? Bi?”

He gives her a desperate look from where he has his face practically pressed against the tabletop. “Right? I-I should know, shouldn't I? How-- How can I-I not know?”

He's whining. That was definitely a whine.

As if by some miracle, Katie looks less unimpressed with him than she usually does, which doesn't say a whole lot, especially considering the fact that she's not even looking at him right now. She's staring off into space as she takes a long swig from her bottle. When she speaks, her voice is uncharacteristically gentle.

“You came all the way out here to follow the guy you're in love with,” she says, slowly, as if trying to explain something to a particularly dense but, arguably, loved child. Then she sighs, puts a calloused hand on his. “Look, kid, you don't need to choose from a whole bunch of labels. Hell, the only labels I knew 'til well into my thirties was dykes and fags.” And Buck tries not to flinch, but she clocks him anyway if the roll of her eyes is anything to go by.

She pats his hand. “You don't need any labels at all if y'don't want them. God knows they probably never think about it.” She gestures at the other bar patrons with her bottle. “But there's not needing a label, and there's bein' ashamed of what that label means, and a lot of us older folk used the former as an excuse for the latter for a long time. Claiming that label means something to us. It doesn't have to, for you, but if your guy spent any time in the closet, it might mean a whole lot to him.”

Buck takes a moment for the words to sink in. “What, so he thinks I'm... ashamed of my feelings for him?”

She pats his hand twice more before removing hers and leaning back. “Hell if I know, I'm not a mind reader.”

-

no pressure tagging @ambernotember @sugarpenchant @geddyqueer @beanarie @epiphainie @leashybebes @iphyslitterator @rcmclachlan @trombonechurchill

[justastraymoa]

Yet Unnamed

Chapter 7

Masterlist

🥳Y/n first date🥳

Warnings for Yet Unnamed: Kidnapping, cuffs, injuries, drugging by injection, mentions of needles, lots of swearing, kissing, fluff, angst, idiots in love all around, sharp weapons being thrown for fun, zombies.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

Your ‘Introducing our 9th member’ YouTube video was being filmed today.  You were in a room just a couple of doors down from where the boys were going to shoot their part of the video.  But while they were together, you would be all alone, and you were terrified.

“I can’t do this.”  You were nearly hyperventilating as you stood on the set.  Your knees felt like jelly in a bad way and your mind raced with all the worst outcomes.  You paced and fidgeted through hair and makeup, struggling to get into your outfit because your hands shook so badly.

Chan stayed with you for as long as he could.  He stopped your pacing and rubbed the tops of your arms from behind as you both looked at the set again.  “Yes, you can.  It’s just questions about you.  Be yourself.  Be honest.”  He replied.

The problem was you suddenly had no idea who you were.  What was your favorite color?  Are you a cat or dog person?  What did you fucking do for fun?  You had no fucking clue anymore.

You turned from the set.  Because this was going on YouTube you had planned most of it and you would also edit together the video later, but you had actively been avoiding thinking about your part in the actual footage.  You have never been on camera like this before.  Millions and millions of people would watch this video and judge everything you said and did.  They would ruthlessly rate how you looked down to every individual eyelash.  You would be MEMEd and GIFed within minutes of the video premiere.

“We can just release the photos and write a blurb about me on the caption.  They don’t need to know me.  They really don’t care.”  You argued nerves getting the better of you.

Chan smiled at you softly and kissed your forehead, completely understanding your panic.  “You can do this.  STAY will love learning about you.  And you have all of us in the studio down the hall if you need anything.  We will keep our phones on.  Call or text any of us, and we will be over in a flash.”  He promised.  He held your face in his hands, careful not to smear your makeup.

He took a deep, purposefully slow breath, waiting for you to follow his lead.  Then he took another, and another.  Until your nerves were at a more manageable level.  For now.

Chan stood just off camera as you waited in the comfy plush white chair.  Final checks and adjustments were being made.  This part was all director and camera work.  Your work came before and after this.

Before you knew it, they were calling Chris away to start their own checks, and he was waving one last time before leaving you alone.

You tucked your phone away with another deep breath.  You can do this.  You can do this.  You can do this.  You don’t have a choice.  You already committed.  You can do this.

The interviewer cleared their throat and began.  “So start with your name.”

You plastered on the practiced pleasant face you had been working on.  “My name is l/n f/n, and I am the 9th and final member of what is known as the Stray Kids soul group.

“How did you find out you were the 9th member?”

This was the whole reason we were doing this interview.  Hopefully to stop anyone from ever finding out you were kidnapped and drugged into this situation.  Not that you didn’t choose to and want to stay.  You didn’t regret your choice at all.  Not even once.  “It was actually JYP who found me using his incredible reach and resources.  He brought me to Korea as a surprise to Stray Kids.”  It physically hurt to say anything decent about that disgusting man, but it was a necessary evil.  And the story was close enough to the actual truth to be an easy lie to keep.

“Were their any issues in the beginning?  Beyond the language barrier?”

You blinked.  You had come up with and approved the questions, but the language barrier part was improvised by the interviewer and unexpected.  Though you had agreed to some improvisation to make it seem more like a conversation, it still caught you off guard.

“They do not know it, but I am fluent in Korean.  I learned from my grandfather at a young age.  He taught me everything about my culture and heritage.  It was very important to him.”

Now it was the interviewers turn to blink, stunned and thrown off.  They recovered quickly, though, and immediately switched languages.

“You never told them?”

You shrug with a playful smile.  “They never asked.  It was never an issue.  They all speak English well enough.  And I was curious about what they would say if they thought I didn’t know what they were saying.”

“Well they will certainly know now.  What do you think their reactions will be?”

“I think they will be shocked.  It will be fun to see their faces when they realize.”

You were relaxing into the interview now.  You had found the groove and were feeling good about how this was progressing.  The questions about your speaking Korean got you off track, but in a good and natural way.

Plus, it gave you an idea.  You would need to record their reactions later when they find out.  It would be entertaining and fun.  Something STAY would enjoy watching as much as you will.

Your interview ended first, which wasn’t shocking.  Their answers would take longer because there were more of them.  You still stayed off their set though, so they would feel free to answer honestly.  You would see their video later when you edit it anyways.

Instead, you doom scroll online and sent funny Stray Kids memes to the boys. Spamming them with themselves. You found it endlessly funny to find ones that make you crack up and share them with the boys. They had the best reactions.

But only a few memes in Lino appeared and dragged you gleefully to their set. It was the same color scheme as yours was. But instead of a single chair there was two overstuffed couches and a coffee table with some snacks. They had several pillow and fluffy blankets to use and get comfy with. It was meant to be a cozy, comfortable chat.

You werent supposed to be a part of their interview. This wasnt in the script. "You are missing the point of having seperate interviews." You point out as Lino set you firmly between him and Hyunjin.

Hyunjin thew an arm around your shoulders. "We missed you."

"And you were blowing up our phones with memes." Chan rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I love looking at Stray Kids memes! I'll always be a STAY at heart. Now your number one fan!" You wink at Chan teasingly, making red dust his cheeks.

"We are almost done anyways. We spilled all the dirt on you already." Seungmin munched on a snack from the coffee table.

"Oh good. I feel less guilty now about spilling the tea on you." You didnt actually spill any Stray Kids tea and you doubted they spilled dirt on you, this was all banter for the camera.

For the next fifteen minutes you cuddled on the couches, chatted, and played around. You honestly forgot that you were being filmed or that there were staff in the room watching you. It was just you and your soulmates chilling, like any night at home.

~

The next morning over breakfast you noticed Chan acting fidgety. He kept glancing over at you as you scrolled through the socials you hadn't deleted yet and caught up on emails.

They had already sent you the raw footage from the interviews to edit together. But you weren't going to work on it today. Today was your day off and you were going to try very hard not to work.

"What's on your mind, Channie?" You finally asked clunking your phone onto the tabletop.

Chan coughed, choking slightly on his food as he was called out. Bin smacked his back and Lino rolled his eyes. "Can't even eat properly. Getting old enough that we have to puree your food before giving it to you?" Lino teased. You kicked his chair and gave him a look to be nice. In response he stood and left the room, coffee in hand.

"Chan? Everything okay?" You ask again when he was back in control of himself.

He cleared his throat twice to buy himself some time. "We haven't really talked about it. Just kind of brushed by. But we were talking and decided to ask. You can always say no. We would respect that one hundred percent! And it wouldn't change anything if you did! Promise!" He started rambling. Words vomiting out of his mouth that made sense but had no context for you to understand what he was referring to.

You really had no idea what he was trying to get at. He hadn't asked a question for you to say yes or no to. He hadn't even alluded to a question. Did he expect you to be able to read his mind? Because while you were learning the little tells of your soulmates, you had yet to master reading their mind. That would take more time.

Bin cut Chan off eventually, ending his rant and clearing things up for you. "We wanted to know if you want to go on dates with us. Individually and group dates. Like we do with each other already."

"Yes. That." Chan agreed letting out a breath and giving Bin a thankful look full of relief.

You bit your lip to stop from smiling as you felt like being a gremlin and teasing the man a bit. "Yes what, Chan?"

"Ugh, really?" Chan immediately caught on to your teasing.

Hey, if you were going to be asked out on your first date from a soul mate, it was going to be done properly. There would only be one time that you got to go on your first date with Chan and it would be done right, damn it. Even if you had to tease it out of him. You smiled and waited patiently, sneaking a teasing glance at Bin.

Chan sucked his teeth. "Willyougoonadatewithme?" His mouth didn't even move as he spoke quickly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Say again?"

"You make me regret this already." Chan sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. Bin laughed. "Will you, Y/n, my sweet, sweet, loving and beautiful soul mate. Who likes me enough to at least put me out of my misery one way or another. Will you please go on a date with me?"

"I would love to go on a date with you, my handsome Channie." You answer trying to hold back the giggles from his over the top third attempt at asking you out.

"Really? You want to try and be romantic with us?" Chan seemed surprised by your acceptance.

"I mean yeah. I thought we were naturally heading that direction." It's not like you hadn't been affectionate with each other. It was little things right now. Cheek kisses, hugs, cuddles, sneaky head kisses. But affection nonetheless.

"Awesome! I'm first. We are going in age order to keep it fair and not cause arguments." He explained.

You shrugged. "I know nothing about that. You are the only one who has asked me out." If he didn't think you would make each and every one of them properly ask you out, he did not know you well enough yet. You were going to drag them through asking you out just like you had Chan. And you would savor each and every memory from it.

"Thats their problem. Can you go today? Because I kinda already have a date planned."

"You have the date planned already even though you didn't know if I would say yes or not?"

"Well I figured if you said no, I could still take you just to have fun together in a nonromantic date way." He shrugged.

You wanted to coo. He had thought a lot about this date. Thinking through all possibilities so you would be comfortable. It was very sweet of him.

"What should I wear?" You asked.

"Casual. Movable. I would suggest pants." He informed. "I'll pick you up in 2 hours?"

You paused. "We live together. Where are you picking me up from?"

"Your room, obviously! It's our first date, let me do it right, Y/n, gosh!"

"Okay sorry! Two hours, my room. Got it." You fake salute him with 2 casual fingers.

Bin snorted, quietly watching your whole exchange. "You are such a nerd." He pushed at Chan playfully.

"Maybe. But this nerd has a date!" Chan shouted that last bit throughout the apartment. He stood with a huge smile and put his dishes away before coming to give you a kiss on the cheek and leaving the room with a bounce in his step.

Just over 2 hours later you laughed in delight when you saw where he was taking you. "Axe throwing! I've never done it before!" You took his offered hand as he opened the car door for you, and you went to the front desk.

"I saw you watching videos a couple times and thought it looked fun. I've never done it either." Chan admitted. This was new for both of you then. It will be fun to learn it together. And most likely be really bad at it together.

The instructor led you to a 'lane' and demonstrated how to throw an axe and a star. There were several projected fames you could also play so you weren't just throwing axes at a wooden board over and over again. It included tictac toe, hangman, and a zombie killing game.

You of course started with killing some zombies. You expected to miss every time since you had never thrown either weapon before, so you shrieked in happiness when your very first throw stuck into the wooden wall without a problem.

"Aha! You see that! It actually stayed!" You hopped and thew you arms around Chan, already having the time of your freaking life!

Chan laughed in delight and caught you with a huge smile on his face. "And you got a zombie first try!" He pointed out.

"Your turn! Your turn!"

You spent the hour and a half time limit playing each game in turn, the smile never leaving your face. And you only stabbed yourself once with the sharp point of the throwing star. You hadn't even really noticed, but Chan immediately did.

As soon as he saw the tiny drop of blood on the back of your hand, he worriedly grabbed it. It was no more than you would get at the doctor from a finger prick test.

"It's okay, babe. I just wasn't careful when I removed it from the wall and one of the points got me. It doesn't even hurt." You vaguely panicked when you realized you let a pet name slip, but Chan didn't notice, to preoccupied digging into his pocket.

Amazingly, he pulled out a band aid and antibiotic ointment. "You brought first aid?" You asked him in shock.

He ignored the obvious question. "You should still take care of it. Don't want it to get infected or scar." He mumbled brow furrowed in concentration as he nursed your hand.

You melted. He thought ahead so much that he came prepared with first aid in case something happened with the sharp weapons you were going to be using. He really prepared for everything.

Sighing in fond exasperation, you were completely smitten with him and his caring personality.

When your time was up for axe throwing, he took you for some food nearby, both of you still smiling.

"This was super fun, Channie. Thank you so much!" You were swinging your hands between you as you walked slowly back to the car, enjoying your time just you and him.

"Thank you for agreeing to come. Especially since we gotta be so careful and secretive in public." He responded.

It's true, though you hadn't really noticed it much, too focused on the man you were with and how much fun you were having. You both had to disguise yourself out in public so no one would see you together and spoil the upcoming reveal. You had easily accepted it as the norm when he brought it up at the beginning of the date.

Once inside the security of your apartment building, he immediately removed the disguises, looking relieved. You giggled and mussed his flattened hair into something a bit better. He let you, with a thanks and smirk when you were satisfied.

In the elevator, you didn't let yourself overthink it. You leaned in and pecked his lips before moving away again and looking ahead.

However, he caught your wrist gently in his fingers and slid his other hand to cradle your face and neck as he pulled you close again. You met the kiss halfway this time. The kiss was still a mild one but lasting much longer than your peck on the lips, and you let your body melt against his.

You eventually made it back to the apartment, sharing one last kiss before rejoining the others.

Lino appeared as you were removing your shoes, his arms crossed.

"Finally! I thought we were going to need to send a search party for you! We need to set a curfew." He chastized.

"Lino, hun, it's not even dark out." You pointed out patting his shoulder as you used it for balance.

"A time limit then. Or check in points. Something!"

I looked up at him. "Do you do that with your other dates?"

"No, but it's different with you!"

Chan kissed Linos's cheek in greeting. "Sorry we worried you. We will check in next time." He promised soothing Lino gently.

Linos posture relaxed. "It's just. You know there are dangerous fans out there. It's a risk to let your guard down too much." He sighed.

You were reminded again how different your life was going to be now with Stray Kids. Even a simple date was more of a risk. Going out in public at all was putting yourselves in danger. Not just from being recognized, but to be mobbed as well. And if we weren't careful, someone could overhear or see something that could damage Stray Kids' reputation. The realization was kind of mind-boggling.

"Hey, you're back! How was it?" Felix asked as soon as he saw us. He didn't seem to be as worried as Lino was.

You felt your face light up as you remembered. "Amazing! We went axe throwing! It was so fucking fun!" You gushed. You immediately brought out your phone to show off the pictures you took.

"Hyung setting the date bar high, huh?"

"It's not a competition, Lix."

Lix laughed through his nose with a half smile.

"We are a group of eight men and one woman. Everything is a competition when it comes to you." Lino stated. Chan and Lix nodded in agreement. You sighed and rolled your eyes.

The rest of your day off was spent catching up on chores and unpacking the boxes of your stuff that had finally arrived. You also needed to build a bookshelf you bought. It had been leaning on your wall since it had been delivered. You were procrastinating the headache and frustration of building the damn thing.

So, keeping up with ignoring things you didn't want to do - or build - you started by unpacking what you could without the shelf. Mostly what little clothes you decided were worth keeping, and the collectables you couldn't bring yourself to give up.

Admittedly a lot of the collectables were Stray Kids and other K-pop memorabilia. Other groups that you stanned. You couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed by all of it for the first time in your life. But there was no way you could let it all go.

So, you hung up your fan made OT8 skzoo art in the frames on the tree Hyunjin painted and set up your skzoo plushie collection on your dresser. Your multiple K-pop shirts got put away carefully and the acrylic stands went on the dresser and desk. One or two even on the bedside tables.

After a few more sentimental items were set up or put away, you could no longer ignore the bookshelf. You were at a point that you could no longer put the rest away without it. Everything left was set to be displayed on it.

You dumped the boxes contents unceremoniously on the floor before looking for the instructions that got buried. The noise attracted a curious Han.

"Oh! It's so cute in here!" He complimented looking around at the new additions.

You flapped your hands at him, blushing. "Stop looking! I was STAY before ever meeting you, I couldn't just let all this stuff go! I spent years and a lot of money collecting it!"

"You are too cute!" He gushed just a little teasing.

You sighed. "Whatever. You may not want to stay in here. I'm about to curse a lot trying to put this stupid shelf together."

"Want some help?"

"Thank you for the offer, but it's okay."

"You sure? I don't mind. I kinda like doing stuff like this. Plus, it will go faster with two people."

Yah, true, sure. But You were used to doing things alone and you just knew you would get frustrated and snap at Han. Then later you would feel terrible. This was all still too new and you didn't want to hurt any of them on any day, but you really didn't want to make them hate you and send you away.

But still, the offer was tempting. "Okay. I'm sorry in advance, though, for anything I may say or do." You warned him

Han waved you off with an easy smile and sat on the floor across from you. "Don't worry about it. I understand."

Together you open the instructions and lay it flat on the floor. There were a lot. It unfolded to poster size or bigger. Sure, it had pictures, but not nearly enough to make up for the sheer number of instructions there were.

You suddenly regret every decision that led you to this moment right here. The work ahead of you seemed so daunting and impossible.

"Okay. It's a shelf. Can't be too difficult." Han said quietly, more to himself to you.

As it turns out, even building furniture is better with your soulmates. Han had this cute little frustrated pout that melted your own frustration any time you saw it. In between the two of you and the directions in two different languages, you were managing to figure the shelf out well enough.

"I think we put this piece on upside down." You said tilting your head sideways.

Han studied the shelf, then the picture on the directions intently. "Damn it. We did. Fucker!" He concluded.

You laugh as his pout increased and he began to grumble under his breath while removing the upside-down piece. Your laugh made him look over at you, and something he saw made the frustration leave his facial features and be replaced by a soft smile.

Finally, after 90 minutes, you both dusted off your hands and stood back, admiring your handiwork. He helped you move your new, extremely heavy, 5-teir bookshelf to a nice blank spot on a wall. It fit perfectly.

"Now you just got to fill it up." Han sighed. He flopped on your bed and made himself comfortable.

You kick the box half full of books, albums, and photocard binders gently with your bare toe. "That's the easy part."

You bent and grabbed some books first. You had kept several of your favorites that had beautiful dust covers or printed edges. Some were signed by the author. And some were just your favorites. Worn down from being read over and over again.

You place them on the shelf in such a way that it displayed the beautiful art or edges. You took great pride in your little collection. And you would have fun collecting more and adding them to the empty spaces you still had on the shelf.

The albums came next. You had acrylic stands for displaying your favorites or the ones with amazing covers. They are placed just so to show them off.

The photocard binders are something that you spent a lot of time on and were very particular about how they went on the shelf. You didn't really display them like the books or albums. There were a select few favorites in protective cases and displayed, but very few. The binders went on by group and placed in timeline order within their respective groups. You were slightly OCD about it, and it drove you nuts when anyone messed with them.

Finally finished unpacking, you glanced over at Han and noticed with a start that he had fallen asleep watching you finish your room. You carefully grab a blanket and drape it over him, tucking him in gently. It was late, and he had stayed up to help you. The least you could do was leave him to sleep. And you really didn't mind sharing the bed with him for the night.

Quickly and quietly changing into your pjs, you crawled slowly into the bed next to him, scootching under your comforter carefully and flipping off the light. Relaxing when your movements didn't wake him up. To prevent gossip and rumors among the group, you left the door open. You weren't sure how 'that' part of the relationships worked yet and didn't want to cause problems.

It was odd sleeping with another body next to you. You were used to sleeping alone. But that being said, you fell asleep quickly and deeply. Feeling content and secure among your soulmates, and doubly so with one closer than usual.

👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

Yet Unnamed Taglist: @fackeraccount @velvetmoonlght @hyunjinstolemyheart @vampkittenb82 @happy-jj @estella-novella @demigoddreamon-blog @tiana-maxivar @ms-flowergirl @jennibahng @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @mimimiloomeelomi @simpforskz143148 @xxeiraxx @lil-bear08 @brbwritingfanfic @jisungs-iced-americano @zofia515 @missvanjii @malyxsoulpersonal @silentreadersthings @pixie0627

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght

[toffeeflowerrrssss]

ִ ࣪𖤐 — "Full Circle"

︶ ⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶

╰┈➤ Prologue

— An Itoshi Brothers Reincarnation AU x FEM!Reader — CW!

—Suic1de Warning!

— Summary:

— Masterlist:

· ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── ·

It has been long ever since I've felt the gentle yet cold embrace of the breeze caressing my skin, a bittersweet taste of freedom lingered...

As the fresh air entered my lungs, I let myself relax as I slowly remembered every stupid and impulsive decisions I've made. Such actions have resulted in making a pathetic story that I am ashamed to call my "life".

My life which contrasts so much to Shinoa's ... The name of my favorite game's protagonist.

As ridiculous as it might seem, I am not embarrassed to admit how envious I am of a digital character.

Shinoa De Rosier, the main character was of a noble bloodline. Her family had quite a lot of influence both in the social world and political grounds. In order to maintain their reputation they must act with no flaw.

However, Shinoa was unique. An outgoing personality, wanting to ride horses, hunting, running around even if it means getting filthy? She doesn't mind! Such traits were looked down upon by everyone around her and caused an uproar within their community.

So when the cold-hearted king requested a bride from the Duke of De Rosier, they immediately presented Shinoa thinking the king would dispose of her immediately. Yet by some miracle, he was immediately fond of her. That's where the game began, where Shinoa would gain the favor of everyone in the palace with her unique personality, resulting in her romancing not only her fiancé — but a knight, a servant, a marquess, and her fiancé's younger brother

Such a story would only befit fiction, more specifically a dating simulator.

But in other people's eyes, it is nothing but a childish and worthless game.

But to me...

In a world where reality is nothing but a joke, it was the only thing that brought me comfort and the distraction that I desperately needed.

To live a life where the only hurdle you have in life is to pick your destined one in a line of men who were willing to devote their whole lives to you, how could I not be envious of Shinoa's seemingly picture perfect story?

Now I finished the game, played all the routes it could offer. I felt as if there's nothing left to do.

Slowly, my eyelids lifted. The breath I sucked in earlier was now forming into a sigh.

One last time.

I looked back at my apartment, a sight that is too familiar.

It made me sick.

I tore my gaze away reluctantly, not wanting to linger any longer than I should.

Now gazing at the sight in front,

A beautiful sunset.

For a moment I locked my eyes upon the gorgeous sight before me as the sounds of the city slowly fade

Out of instinct my arms spread wide, letting the cold breeze yet again graze through my skin as my mind went blank.

For the first time, a moment of silence was shared between me and this world

....

....

....

Such silence was interrupted by a thought;

"if I were to live another life, would it be better?"

'Such a stupid thought.' I muttered

But...

If I was blessed by another life I would want one like Shinoa's... maybe better?

I only scoffed at such thoughts, I was ending my life yet I wished for another?

I chuckled slightly

Such a Juxtaposition

....

....

....

One last time I put my gaze on the sunset before me.

The view so beautiful yet it reminds me of something so nauseating,

The scenery when I made the most stupid decision my entire life to which I regret until now.

....

....

....

....

Now i have a choice

A choice where i can end my suffering by running away from my problems

or going back, and staying quiet till i can't anymore

....

....

....

....

'i wanna be selfish this time.'

with one last breath, i placed a foot forward as it hovered above my one way ticket to the freedom I've always yearned for

....

....

....

....

....

....

As i was finally able to escape this hell

my breath hitched

....

....

....

....

....

i was scared

after everything I've been through i was still

scared of what I've awaited to do

huh..

through and through i was still

....

A Coward

....

But with just another step i change it all

....

just

Just one step

....

I tried to move, but i couldnt at all

i was paralyzed on the spot

....

....

....

....

c'mon

C'mon

C'MON

HE'S GONNA BE BACK ANY MINUTE RIGHT NOW

THE ONLY CHANCE I HAVE IS GETTING SHUNNED TO THE SIDE JUST BECAUSE IM STILL THE PERSON I VOWED TO CHANGE?!

PATHETIC

PATHETIC

PATHETIC

PATHETIC

PATHETIC

PATHET-

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

What a way to coincidentally overcome my fear huh?

Slipping as i was lost in thought earlier is what resulted to me falling off the building right now

....

not gonna lie..

thinking of nothing, as my body gets pulled down by gravity is quite peaceful

Its as if im flying, the cold wind enveloped my body was just another reason for this peacefulness...

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

....

Huh?

Looking around i saw myself in, what looks like a cottage? Aren't i supposed to be in the afterlife by now??

As I had so many questions in my brain, I felt my head sting, making my hand land on my forehead

Uh...

Why is my hand so small?

scratch that, why am I so small???

WHAT'S HAPPENING????

.Prologue end.

Stay tunned for the next part!!

_________________________________________

Heyloo i just came up with an interesting storyline and i wanted to share it with y'all!!!

Special thanks to my dookie bear @kxniiiii

for helping me with the writing and coming up with the AU with me!! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。ILY DOOKS ♡ ♡♡ ♡

Part 2 is gonna be out uhhh when me and dooks aint that busy with school 🫶

[decayed-cartilage]

The Intern

Hannibal Lecter x AFAB! Reader

Masterlist. PT 1

Warnings for chapter: power dynamic? Mentions of erection.. creepy! Hannibal, Morally wrong! Hannibal

Synopsis: Y/N is on the brink of graduation, with just one requirement left—an internship. Somehow, she finds herself under the esteemed Dr. Hannibal Lecter, a man as brilliant as he is unreadable. Cold, precise, and impossible to rattle, he keeps his thoughts well-guarded. But Y/N can’t help her curiosity—she wants to understand him, to get beneath the surface. And whether he intends to or not, bit by bit, he lets something slip. Something darker. Something she might not be ready to see.

After what felt like endless hours of writing and submitting, writing and submitting, I finally received an email back from one of the many psychiatrists I’d been desperately trying to reach for my mandatory internship—Dr.Lecter, A prestigious man with many colorful reviews, which had drawn me to contact him.

From: H***********@gmail.com

To: Y/e@gmail.com

Subject: Internship for Johns Hopkins University

Dear Y/N,

I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing your application and personal portfolio, and I must say—your dedication and talent are impossible to overlook. It’s clear you take your work seriously, and intelligence like yours is always refreshing to encounter. I have no doubt that you would be the perfect young lady for me to mentor

do get in touch at your earliest convenience, and please, use my personal number (***) ***-****

Best,

Doctor Lecter

My heart pounded out of my chest, my eyes scanning his words again and again as warmth flooded my face. Oh god—had I really sent all that? How had I forgotten? Yes—I had sent all of it, in a tired, near-lucid state, exhausted from working so hard. My words had grown almost desperate by the last emails, pleading for validation.

But really? My whole life story? A deep dive into why I chose psychiatry—endless run-ons about trauma and my relentless hope for a better world?

And—oh no—the pictures. Me in scrubs, grinning way too hard, double thumbs-up in front of a cadaver during one of my early tech programs. Or me, beaming like an overexcited tourist beside historical documents, looking ridiculously proud.

Yet, all of that faded as my eyes caught on one thing—his phone number.

I screamed like a teenage girl, shooting up from my seat as I sprinted to grab my phone, my hands shaking as I typed in his number—only to pause.

What do I even say?!

I groaned, throwing myself back onto my bed.

Third person (Hannibal's) P.O.V

Hannibal had been waiting. Days bled into each other, an endless cycle of monotony—listening to insipid patients whine about their problems, assisting in crime cases that barely challenged him, returning home to indulge in his more refined appetites. Even killing had lost its thrill. Nothing ever truly stirred him.

Until your email.

God, the desperation dripped from every word, a quiet, pleading sort of need that sent a slow, curling heat through him. You had laid yourself bare, unaware of what exactly you had just invited into your life. Your tragic little story, the way you carried yourself—so unassuming, so small. So easy.

Just picturing you in his office, lingering in his space, speaking to him with those wide, trusting eyes—his jaw locked, his fingers twitching with restraint.

Staring at the pictures you had attached, Hannibal felt his length twitch, his breath slowing as his free hand drifted—almost absentmindedly—palming himself through the fine fabric of his dress pants. God.

The way your lips curled, the way your smile beamed so effortlessly, so full of warmth—it was intoxicating. A stark contrast to the cold, calculated existence he thrived in. You radiated light, soft and unguarded, utterly unaware of the predator fixated on you.

His throat tightened.

Such an innocent little thing, standing there in your scrubs, so proud, so eager. So trusting. You belonged to a world of laughter and hope, while he—he was carved from shadow and silence, his smile only ever genuine when he was peeling flesh from bone.

And yet, here he was, jaw clenched, breath heavy, wanting.

Needing.

He exhaled sharply, fingers pressing harder against the growing strain beneath his waistband.

Oh, sweet girl… you have no idea what you’ve done.

Ding!

The sharp chime shattered the heavy silence, jolting him from his trance. His phone clattered against the desk, but his eyes were already locked onto the screen. He knew who it was. Of course, he did.

Hannibal was a meticulous man. A careful man. And yet, you had made it so easy for him. Every little detail of your life, carelessly scattered across the internet—your school, your favorite cafés, even the places you liked to study. He knew where you had been before you even told him. He had all of you at his fingertips.

And now, your number. Displayed so innocently on his screen.

"Hello Doctor Lecter! This is Y/n :),I got your acceptance email-"

The preview cut off, but he didn’t need to see the rest to know exactly how you would sound—bubbly, eager, grateful. A stark contrast to the dark amusement curling in his chest.

Still, he unlocked the phone, fingers rolling over the screen, expression unreadable as he took in the rest of your message.

and I just can’t express how grateful I am you responded! It’s even better since I’m attending the same school you did! I would love to set up a time for us to chat in person—I hope I’m not being too informal—if I am, please tell me! Thank you so much for your time!

Such sweetness. Such hope. He could practically hear the nervous excitement laced in your words, see the way your hands might have trembled as you typed, wondering if you were saying too much, if you sounded proper enough for him.

He exhaled slowly, his jaw tightening, his fingers pressing into the screen just a little harder than necessary.

You had no idea what you had just invited into your world.

He began typing.

I’m pleased to hear from you so soon. Why don’t we meet somewhere comfortable? Perhaps a coffee shop—there’s a lovely one, [your favorite coffee shop], that I hear is quite popular. It seems like the perfect setting for our first conversation. Let me know when you’re available, and I’ll gladly adjust my schedule.

And please, don’t worry about being too informal. I much prefer sincerity. I look forward to meeting you, properly.

With that, he sent the message, his thumb hovering over the screen for just a second longer than necessary before finally setting the phone down. It slid across his desk with a soft thud, the only sound in the stillness of his office.

Hannibal exhaled slowly, a drawn-out sigh that did little to temper the hunger curling inside him.

You had been on his mind long before your message arrived, but now? Now, you were real. Tangible. Just a text away.

And soon, within reach.

Rolling his shoulders, he adjusted his cuffs with careful precision, though it did little to distract from the heat simmering beneath his skin. His jaw tightened. He needed a walk. Fresh air. A moment to compose himself before his thoughts spiraled into something indulgent.

His lips curled slightly as he stepped away from his desk, anticipation thrumming in his veins.

You had no idea what you had just done.

But you would.

YOUR POV

Ding!

I was too nervous to look at his message right away. My fingers hovered over my phone, heart hammering so loudly it drowned out all rational thought. When I finally mustered the courage to open it, my face went hot instantly.

He mentioned my favorite café.

Had he been there before? Was he that local? Had I somehow missed him in the crowd? My stomach twisted at the thought—equal parts exhilaration and unease. It wasn’t strange for someone to know about it; it was a well-loved spot, after all. But the way he said it, so casually yet deliberately, made my skin prickle.

I let out a small, breathless giggle, my lips pressing together as I read over his words again. I needed to calm down. Breathe, Y/N. Act normal. But I wasn’t normal. Not right now. I was too warm, too jittery, too caught up in the weight of his attention.

A walk. I needed a walk.

Without responding, I shoved my phone into my pocket and grabbed my jacket off the hook by the door. My scarf—a soft, muted rainbow of colors—was next, the familiar knit worn and comforting against my fingers.

"I know it gets cold out there Y/nn! You're taking this scarf with you- it's my dying wish!"

I could still hear my mother’s voice, warm with fond exasperation, as she fussed over me before I left for college. The memory made me smile.

I wrapped the scarf snugly around my neck, letting the soft wool shield me from the crisp autumn air seeping in through the doorframe. My outfit was hardly practical for the weather, but I had always dressed like this—formally, neatly, a habit ingrained into me since childhood. A plaid skirt, fitted but flaring just above my knees, swayed as I moved. Tights helped ward off the chill, but only just. My dark grey moccasins were polished and proper, and beneath my heavy coat, I wore a delicate white button-up. The heart embroidery around the collar was my mother’s handiwork—stitched with care, meant to remind me of home.

Despite the structured appearance, I was anything but composed. Anyone who truly knew me would recognize the contrast between my polished exterior and the nervous, sweet-natured girl underneath.

I stepped outside into the cold, the late autumn air nipping at my nose and cheeks, turning them pink within seconds. The streets were quiet, save for the occasional rustling of leaves tumbling along the pavement.

-

The walk stretched on longer than I had planned. What started as a way to clear my head turned into an aimless journey, my feet carrying me farther and farther from my starting point. By the time I thought to check the time, my phone screen flashed 4:07 PM.

Four hours. Four hours.

I had wandered nearly halfway across the city, lost in my thoughts, replaying that message over and over in my head like a song I couldn’t turn off. The crisp autumn air had settled deep in my bones, my fingers stiff despite being tucked into my coat pockets. My legs ached, but I wasn’t ready to go home just yet.

That was when I noticed it—the quiet hum of a near-empty park, tucked away from the city’s usual noise. Golden leaves fluttered from the branches above, painting the pavement in warm hues. It was peaceful here, the kind of place where no one would bother me, where I could sit for just a moment and-

That was when I noticed him.

A figure moving toward me, his steps slow, measured, deliberate.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. Just another passerby enjoying the evening air, someone else drawn to the quiet solitude of the park. But something about the way he walked made my breath catch—a smooth, unhurried grace, like a man who never rushed for anything.

My brows furrowed as I squinted. Damn it, I forgot my glasses.

I could make out the tall, well-built frame beneath a long, dark coat, the way his shoulders sat perfectly squared, the way his hands—gloved—rested easily at his sides, as if he carried nothing but time and patience.

A strange feeling stirred in my chest, a quiet knowing before my brain even caught up.

Then, as he stepped into the golden glow of the late afternoon sun, everything clicked into place.

The sharp, unmistakable features. The neatly combed dark hair. The slight tilt of his head, like he had already recognized me long before I had recognized him.

Dr. Lecter.

Oh God.

My stomach flipped so violently I thought I might actually double over. What was he doing here? Had he seen me before I saw him? Was he here because of me, or was this just some freakishly timed coincidence?

My brain scrambled for an appropriate reaction—anything other than standing there like an idiot, heart hammering in my throat.

My cheeks burned before I could stop them, heat creeping up my neck, traitorous and undeniable. I must look ridiculous right now—flushed, wide-eyed, completely caught off guard.

But there was no turning back. He was already close enough that ignoring him would be rude. Unprofessional.

So, I did the only thing I could think of.

I forced my stiff fingers to move, lifting a hand in a small, hesitant wave.

And then—I smiled. Nervous, flustered, but hopefully not as painfully obvious as I felt.

"H-Hi, Doctor!" I blurted out, my voice coming out softer than I intended, almost breathless.

I forced a smile, though I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. My big, wide eyes locked onto him, searching his face for any sign of reaction.

A second passed.

Then another.

My stomach twisted, dread creeping in. Did I mess up? Did I sound stupid? The silence stretched just long enough to make my pulse stutter.

"I-It’s Y/N—" I started, my voice unsteady, but before I could finish, he cut me off.

"I know it’s you, sweetheart."

My breath hitched.

His voice was smooth, effortlessly composed, dripping with confidence in a way that made my skin tingle. He looked down at me with an amused sort of curiosity, his gaze steady, unwavering—like he was taking his time, drinking in every little reaction, every tiny shift in my expression.

"How funny is it," he continued, his lips curving slightly, "that I should run into you here—right after we had just spoken?"

I swallowed hard. My stomach flipped again, my nerves unraveling by the second.

He was so calm. So composed. And here I was, standing there like a nervous wreck, my thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind.

Whatever little confidence I had managed to build up crumbled beneath the weight of his presence. My body felt too warm despite the crisp autumn air, and I could hear the rush of my own pulse in my ears. Still, I forced myself to nod, hoping it looked casual—hoping he couldn’t tell just how flustered I was.

"It’s t-totally crazy!" I rushed out, my voice a little too high, a little too eager. I winced at myself, clearing my throat and trying again, desperate to sound normal. "I-I mean, I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was going. I must’ve wandered too far—I couldn’t even tell you where I am right now if I’m being honest."

I let out a nervous laugh, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear, willing my hands to stop fidgeting. My cheeks burned, and I prayed it looked like nothing more than the bite of the cold air rather than the sheer excitement buzzing beneath my skin.

I had imagined meeting him—dreamed of it even. But now that he was standing in front of me, watching me with that unreadable gaze, I felt like my legs might give out beneath me.

"I'm really sorry you had to meet me like this," I blurted, my voice smaller than I intended. My fingers fidgeted with the hem of my jacket sleeves, twisting the fabric as I dared to glance up at him. His eyes—sharp, knowing—made my stomach flip. God, why did he have to look at me like that?

"I promise I would have been more presentable— and- l-less shocked—I'm very sorry," I squeaked, heat rushing to my face as I dropped my gaze again, mortified by how utterly flustered I was.

A deep hum left him, measured and deliberate. "There is no need for an apology, hon," Hannibal said smoothly, the richness of his voice wrapping around me like silk. "You present yourself in a manner most... revealing."

He tilted his head, gaze unwavering, studying me as though he were unraveling something unseen. "There is an honesty in moments like these. A rare and unguarded glimpse into one's truest nature."

My breath caught in my throat. What—what did he mean by that?

I tried to piece it together, but the warmth in his eyes, the weight of his words, left me grasping at nothing.

I nodded at his words, dumbly, still trying to process the way he spoke, the way his voice felt like silk wrapping around my thoughts. But then, like a slap to the face, realization struck.

Oh no.

He definitely saw that I had read his message but never responded.

My stomach twisted as I stepped closer, suddenly feeling the need to explain myself, to fix whatever impression that might’ve given. "I—I meant to text back!" The words left me in a rush, my hands gripping the hem of my sleeves anxiously. "I just got too excited—" I stopped abruptly, my breath catching as my face burned. Too excited? Oh god. That sounded ridiculous. Desperate.

"I mean—" I scrambled to recover, shaking my head quickly. "Not excited—well, I mean, yes, excited, but not in a weird way! Just… I thought I should wait until I wasn’t so—so—" I let out a nervous laugh, utterly failing to dig myself out of the hole I was sinking into.

Hannibal tilted his head ever so slightly, watching me with that same unreadable expression, his lips curving just enough to make my stomach twist even further.

"There’s no need to fluster yourself on my account," he said, his voice smooth, deliberate. "Some things are best expressed in their rawest form, unfiltered… unguarded."

I swallowed hard, my mind racing, trying to decipher his words. Was he talking about my message—or something else entirely?"I—I completely agree!" I rushed out, still trying to steady myself, my heart hammering against my ribs. "But—still—I mean, we should set up a time. Whenever you’d like, of course."

I offered a small, nervous smile, shifting slightly on my feet, hoping I sounded even the slightest bit composed.

Third person (Hannibal's) pov

Hannibal watched you with quiet amusement, his sharp eyes taking in every flustered movement, every nervous breath. You were trying so hard to sound composed, but the way your words tumbled out—rushed, uncertain—betrayed you.

"I—I completely agree!" you blurted, your voice carrying that same delightful eagerness from your emails. "But—still—I mean, we should set up a time. Whenever you’d like, of course."

You shifted on your feet, offering a small, nervous smile, as if willing yourself to appear more put together. How endearing. You had no idea how much you were giving away. Hannibal let the moment stretch just a second longer than necessary, letting you stew in the weight of his gaze before finally offering a slow, knowing smile.

"How about now, then?" Hannibal’s voice was smooth, effortlessly calm. "It seems the only thing occupying you at this moment is our conversation. I don’t mind in the slightest."

He watched as you blinked, clearly caught off guard. Your fingers twitched at your sides, your lips parting slightly as if scrambling for a response. You hadn’t expected that—hadn’t considered that he might take control of the moment so easily, turning your nervous rambling into something entirely inescapable.

Of course, he knew you wouldn’t say no. You had been so eager, so desperate for this opportunity, your emails practically dripping with the need to prove yourself. The way you sought validation was almost endearing—so open, so unaware of just how much you had already given away.

And now, standing before him, you couldn’t hide it. The excitement in your eyes, the nervous energy humming beneath your skin. You were trying so hard to play it cool, but he could see it all—the way your breath hitched, the way you hesitated for just a second too long.

He let the silence stretch, just enough to make you squirm, his face giving no hints to how he felt.

"Oh! Of course! Now is perfect!" she blurts out, nodding far too quickly, her voice pitching higher than she probably intended. She grips the hem of her coat, wringing the fabric between her fingers, as if the motion might tether her to reality—might stop her from unraveling beneath her own nervous energy.

How utterly transparent.

I say nothing for a moment, only watching, taking in the way she fidgets, the way her pulse flutters just beneath the delicate skin of her throat. She is trying so very hard to maintain composure, but she is failing spectacularly.

She doesn’t realize how much she gives away. How easily every flicker of emotion plays across her face. It is almost endearing—the way she fights against her excitement, attempting to suppress it, as if I cannot already see through her.

And yet, there is something else beneath the surface. Something softer, untouched by the weight of the world’s cruelty. A rare thing, fragile and sweet.

My lips curl slightly.

She swallows hard, her breath quickening, the silence stretching just long enough for uncertainty to creep in. I can almost feel the way her mind races, second-guessing herself, wondering if she has said too much or too little.

Finally, I incline my head in a slow, deliberate motion.

"Perfect," I murmur, watching as her breath hitched

A/N oh my god I think is the first fanfic I've written since I was like ten, so if you like it tell me :) and if you don't, also tell me. I hope everyone is doing well and I hope to write more, or leave suggestions! Big kisses everyone :3

[gaylordscooter]

Moving in

“lemme get this straight, you already know what we’ve done, haven't you? i read your little journal.”

Blue shifted on his bed, trying to keep eye contact with Sans. “Well, yeah, but I wasn't writing about you three specifically.”

Sans looked disgusted but it wasn't at Blue. “there were others before us.”

Blue couldn't hide the guilt on his face.

“and you don't know where they are anymore. you wanted to help them too, huh?”

He really did. He was just too weak and scared back then, but now he's gotten used to talking to murderers. After all, one of his best friends is one.

It's important not to narrow them down to just that. Of course the idea initially sounds weird. Why would you ever want to show compassion to these guys? Blue formed an answer for that a long time ago.

When their story is scripted, was it really their fault?

He supposed offering a question as an answer wasn't the best thing, but his personal answer to that was “no”. At least, depending on how they act once they're out of their universe. As far as he's concerned, these three haven't caused any significant trouble after they’ve left their universes.

He didn't need all these justifications anyway. Personally, he didn't really care what they’ve done. He's here to help, that's what he does.

“i’m gonna pass on your offer,” he said. “besides, if you plan on helping dusk ‘n killer, you're gonna need your full attention on ‘em. i got papyrus, they got…each other, i guess, but that's doing more harm than good at the moment.” He grimaced.

“Right, okay,” Blue nodded. Sans’s reasoning was sound. He did have a support system opposed to the other two, and monitoring all three of them would probably be too much.

“y’know you might die trying to help them, right?” His tone sounded neutral, as if he was just stating a fact rather than trying to deter him.

“Well, yeah.” Everything he did came with a chance of death. It's a part of having only one HP.

But given everything he has survived, which included his universe literally shattering, he's stopped caring about those chances long ago.

“that's not gonna stop you at all?”

“I wouldn't be here right now if it would—OH SHIT!”

Sans flinched at the sudden increase in volume. “what?!”

Blue’s eyelights shrunk and he stood up from the bed. “Your eye!” he yelled as if that explained anything.

“what about my eye?”

“The other one. Your magic eye, doesn't that keep you alive?” Blue asked.

Sans was taken aback. He hasn't thought about that in a long while. For this guy to know about it…Just how much did this guy know?

And how did he get that information?

Sans decided to look at him like he was crazy rather than responding, which immediately made Blue look nervous.

“...is that not right?”

He sounded like a kid who got a question wrong on a test. As innocent as that sounded on paper, he didn't appreciate that the question in this instance was regarding a personal fact about himself. A personal fact not even Papyrus knew.

“alright,” he adjusted his posture on the stool to lean closer to him, “how do you know all this stuff about us?”

Just like he wanted, the gesture seemed to intimidate him. He sat up straight on his bed, but he didn't lean back as if showing weakness would make him lunge at the other.

Blue tugged on his scarf. “Okay, I know it sounds suspicious, but a friend of mine told me all about you guys.”

He narrowed his sockets, “a friend?”

“Oof, okay, you want the full explanation?”

The look on Sans’s face was enough to usher him to continue.

Blue sighed. “So the friend I’m talking about is Ink, you've seen him a few times.” He lowered his voice as he continued. “he kinda doesn't like me talking about him to other people, but you are entitled to a proper explanation. he kinda knows everything about the multiverse and sometimes he tells me about it.”

The whole thing sounded like complete bullshit, but with how Blue’s been acting this entire time he felt inclined to believe it. How else would he know? Stalking them? He isn't even from the same universe as them.

With that being said.

“and how the hell does ink get all this information?”

Blue cleared his throat, “uhhh. i’m not actually sure. he just kinda. Knows. Automatically. i can point at someone and he’ll be able to identify their universe and backstory immediately.”

It felt like there was something Blue wasn't telling him with how vague he was being. Internally he took note of how he used the word “backstory” to describe one's past. As if he were talking about people like they were characters.

Sans didn't think anyone should have as much knowledge as Ink. Bad things can come out of someone knowing all of the answers.

They might start digging for more mysteries, consequences be damned, just to satiate their curiosity.

But Blue’s concerns right now were elsewhere.

“So anyway, about your eye. An entity called Error destroyed your universe and displaced everyone to The Hub. So everything left, including your eye, is probably in his labyrinth right now.”

He proceeded to ramble on about “Error” and the labyrinth that resided in a place called the antivoid.

What Sans understood was that his eye was in a near-inaccessible place and could be destroyed the longer it stayed there. So really it isn't any different from it being in the queen’s possession.

Despite Blue’s long explanation that hardly anyone has been able to get something out of the labyrinth unscathed, he insisted he was going to get his eye out from that place. By himself.

Sans was not gonna let this guy just recklessly risk his life like that just to save his own.

“It's fine! I've been there before. I’m sure I can get it back safely with the right planning,” he insisted.

“because your plan to rescue that skeleton from that freak went so smoothly,” he retorted.

“sending you three wasn't my plan.”

“sending that army of whatever those things were was your plan, though.”

“They're called Blueberries and that wasn't my initial plan either!” Blue crossed his arms, “besides, it did get everyone out relatively safely even though I hardly had time to think of it.”

Those “blueberries” were a good distraction, he’ll give him that, but he still wasn't sure this guy would be able to pull off retrieving his eye from what was essentially described as a multiversal garbage dump—plan or not.

“hang on, why doesn't ink just get it instead? isn't he a lot more capable?”

Blue looked at him like he told him pigs could fly. “No,” he answered succinctly. “Anyway, I’ll probably get it back in a week. It shouldn't be destroyed by then.”

The “probably” and “shouldn't” was real comforting.

He went on to change the subject as if the topic at hand was casual small talk.

“So you wanted to move into a house with just you and your brother, right?”

After they had that talk he sent Dusk over to Blue. He was curious how his conversation would go with him, considering Dusk hardly talked. The only person he consistently spoke to at this point was Killer.

To be fair the only other people he could talk to was him and Nightmare. Of course he wasn't going to talk to Nightmare and he could just sign whenever he was with Sans. Maybe things will be different with more people around.

Yeah right.

Speaking of Killer, he was out like a light at the moment. Even after he ate and was healed by Dusk, he still felt sleepy enough to take a nap. He didn't know how exactly those flowers from Fresh worked, but he assumed they could leech off of a monster’s magic, which is why it would knock out a monster like Killer—he was used to having a lot of magic in his system. Suddenly losing a lot wasn't exactly fatal for him but it confuses the body.

Or something like that, he wasn't a biologist.

Dusk was pretty loopy too after their first encounter with Fresh, but he was loopy all the time so it was hard to tell there was a difference.

Those two…he wouldn't have guessed they'd end up the way they were now. From day one those two seemed to loathe each other. Every day he wondered if one of them would finally kill the other. The fights they had would tear up parts of the forest. He watched them, at first out of some sick curiosity, but later on it was to call an end to the fight whenever they got too carried away.

But then there was that night where Nightmare gave them a blunt, probably curious to see how it would go down.

Well, he sure hoped sparking a relationship between those two was what he wanted.

Even without the weed affecting him, that night was a trip. Two murderous self-loathing alternate versions of himself clinking teeth couldn't be topped by any hallucination.

Killer stirred, finally waking up. He was still incredibly groggy. He explained to him that they were talking to Blue to sort out their living situations.

Dusk came in through the hallway shortly after, acting fairly cold towards Killer as if he wasn't watching over him and waiting for him to wake up moments ago.

Sans had a hunch he talked about Killer with Blue.

The hunch turned out to be right as he had a little chat with Dusk. They were going to live apart. That was good. Spending some time apart could make them less clingy to each other.

But the conversation between the two proved that being apart was gonna be harder than Dusk thought it would be. He retreated to the hallway where Blue apparently was standing too.

He was either eavesdropping or was on his way to the living room before he heard the arguing start.

He was generous enough to think it was the latter.

Blue looked back to his room, probably debating whether or not to go back. 

And then they heard Dusk shout that he loves Killer. The two winced. Sans even heard Blue shout-whisper a “WHY would he say that now?”

Too stunned to even move, the conversation was over before they knew it.

The silence was incredibly loud.

Blue gave Sans an uncertain look, straightened himself out, and finally walked down the hall.

Despite the silent tension between Killer and Dusk, Blue managed to act like everything was normal.

Even though he was the only one that was talking at this point.

Moments later, Ink dropped by to take them to the Hub. Sans spared a glare at him, which he did not miss. He said nothing, but childishly stuck his tongue out at him. Which was a thing some skeletons apparently had.

They dropped off Killer first. Sans grabbed him by his sleeve to lead him over to his room. He looked completely empty as he clung onto Dusk in a last-ditch effort to keep him here.

It was weird seeing the normally chatty skeleton look so dead.

Was this really the same monster that called his relationship with Dusk an “inside joke”?

He couldn't help but feel a little worried about him being alone.

Next, Blue took him and Dusk to their new homes. He had no idea how they were built so quickly—at least it seemed like it was newly built, he swore those houses weren't standing there before.

Their houses were right next to each other and were only about a block away from the hotel Killer was staying at. It was convenient, if those two wanted to keep in touch.

“cya around,” he told Dusk.

Dusk gave him a thumbs up in response as they parted ways.

When he entered his new home, he was surprised to see that Papyrus had already started settling in.

There were many open boxes on the carpet of the entry room, all but one empty.

“sup, bro.”

Papyrus looked so giddy with joy, it was nice to see him like this again. He paused his unpacking to waltz over to Sans. “SANS, ISN’T IT AMAZING? OUR VERY OWN HOUSE WITH POWER! THIS ISN’T HOW I EXPECTED OUR LIVES TO GO, BUT, I’M GLAD EVERYTHING TURNED OUT FINE.”

“yeah.” It was intimidating, how “normal” their life has suddenly become.

All the unspoken words and secrets clung to his back. He never planned on telling Papyrus, or anyone, about what he's done. There wasn't any reason to, not when they were just trying to survive.

But now, now he felt the sense that he was obligated to.

Even though the blood stains were washed off his bones and teeth, they were still crooked, and his eye sockets had sunken in ways only Sans’s should.

Granted, people wouldn't know that was because he ate human meat, but they'd still know he'd gone through a rough time.

He was so happy right now. There was no need to tell him right now. There's no rush.

He thought back to that encounter with a different Papyrus back at Nightmare's place.

“You hid what happened from your brother didn't you?”

He read him like a book, and it wasn't even his Papyrus. Would that mean Papyrus knew he was hiding something?

Back then he was too distracted by the fact he told everyone to start eating humans to even question anything about his injury.

He thought about how his eye was currently at even more risk than it initially was. He didn't really feel scared or worried about dying. A part of him might even accept it.

But if that's the case, why did he fight so hard to survive?

Why didn't he just give up back then? His life wasn't worth all the shit he's put everyone through.

Of course back then, all he thought about was the betrayal. He was blinded by his anger.

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT, SANS?” Papyrus asked.

Sans didn't realize he was just standing there and glaring at nothing for a little while. He relaxed his face. “yeah, it's just, surreal that we're here right now.”

“HONESTLY I DIDN’T EXPECT TO BE IN A BRAND NEW AREA WITH A BRAND NEW HOUSE EITHER. IT’S PRETTY WEIRD!”

Something about the cadence of Papyrus’s voice was off when he said that. He looked happy, sure, but something about the sound of his voice felt forced. 

“what about you?”

Papyrus closed his mouth and looked at him as if he didn't hear. While his hearing was pretty bad at this point, which is part of the reason he learned sign language, in a silent room like this he knew he definitely heard his question.

Still, he repeated his question, “how are you doing?”

Papyrus's happy demeanor cracked as he lowered his smile. “I’M NOT QUITE SURE…WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT QUESTION. OF COURSE I’M DOING GREAT!” His smile returned but it felt fake.

“uh—”

“WE HAVE POWER, A COMFORTABLE HOME, WE’RE TOGETHER AGAIN AFTER YOU MYSTERIOUSLY WENT MISSING FOR A WHOLE YEAR. WHAT’S NOT TO BE HAPPY ABOUT?”

There was something in the tone of his voice that Sans had a hard time pinning down at first and then Papyrus continued.

“EVERYONE WHO SURVIVED IS SAFE NOW. WE HAVE FOOD THAT ISN’T HUMAN MEAT. AND THERE’S NEW FACES TO MEET!”

Papyrus leveled with Sans, kneeling down and grabbing his shoulders.

Sans swore his tired eye sockets looked at him with desperation. Desperation to just, go back to normal. To go back to being The Great Papyrus.

The Great Papyrus that didn't hunt any humans for food, that didn't get unnerved by his brother, that didn't get scared of Undyne.

The Great Papyrus that had hope for the future.

No, he still had hope. It was just. Hard. To hold onto it.

Especially when it felt more like denial at this point.

“Are you sure you're alright, Sans?” Papyrus asked, quieter this time.

He looked closer at Papyrus’s face. No, he imagined all that desperation. That smile wasn't plastic, it was real. Papyrus was doing fine—maybe not “great” like he said but that desperation to go back to normal wasn't Papyrus’s.

Sans sighed, “i’m getting there.”

Papyrus frowned. “Why do you do that?”

He blinked, “do what?”

“Ever since you've gotten back you act WEIRD when someone says your name.”

He does? “huh?”

“YEAH, AT FIRST YOU DIDN’T REALLY RESPOND AT ALL TO IT, BUT NOW YOU FLINCH.”

He knew he was pretty unresponsive at first whenever someone called his name. For a whole year he was referred to as “Horror”. He had to get used to being called Sans again, but he didn't realize he flinched now. Does he do that when Killer calls him Sans too? Does he notice?

The thought made him sick. Was he really so used to that demeaning name Nightmare gave him that he reacted weirdly to his real name?

His name is not Horror.

get that through your skull. that should be easy considering the hole in it.

He hasn't told Papyrus or the others much about where he's been for the past year. He didn't feel ready to. Then again, he never felt ready to explain anything.

Some things don't change.

Papyrus sighed, taking his silence as reluctance to answer. “WELL I’M GOING TO SET UP YOUR ROOM NOW. SOME OF YOUR STUFF IS STILL AT THE OTHER HOUSE. GO TALK TO TORIEL SHE HAS YOUR STUFF PACKED.”

“oh, uh. alright.” He said a quick bye as Papyrus turned around, picked up a box and went over to where his room apparently was. Only one floor in this house, that's gonna be weird to get used to.

Nightmare's castle was also weird to get used to, but like hell would he call that place a home.

Welp, he should go get his things now.

He left the house. He spared a glance at Dusk’s new house. It looked smaller than his. Maybe there were fewer rooms since only he lived there.

He could see that the lights were off through the windows. Maybe he was sleeping, or out.

He made his way over to the house Toriel was staying at.

When he first arrived there, it felt like everything went back to normal immediately. It was almost like he didn't leave at all, but that was a temporary front. They can't just ignore his disappearance and everything that happened in between.

Even though Sans wanted to.

As he walked over to the house, he noticed two monsters standing on the doorstep from a distance. As he got closer, he recognized the two as alternate versions of him and Papyrus.

They were holding baskets of vegetables. That, along with their clothing and hats, gave off the impression they were farmers.

He felt awkward as he walked up behind them and interrupted whatever this was.

Thankfully it was Toriel they were talking to and she noticed him immediately. “Greetings, Sans! You are here to pick up the rest of your things, I presume?”

“yup,” he said. He couldn't help but eye the two skeletons here.

They turned around to look at him the moment Toriel acknowledged him. He wasn't wearing a hat right now so his head injury was on clear display for them to gawk at. To their credit, they managed to keep their expressions the same, but he knew they were probably wincing internally.

“Oh, you have not met these two yet! They are the local farmers, they hand out baskets of their produce every week.”

Right after she said that, the shorter skeleton handed her the basket he was holding. “yup, and they're cultivated by yours truly,” he said.

The taller skeleton scoffed, “HARDLY! ALL YOU DO IS SIT OR STAND BY THE CROPS AND JUST WATCH THEM GROW.”

“i scare the crows away.”

“THERE AREN’T EVEN ANY CROWS THAT LIVE THERE!” he countered.

The shorter skeleton’s sockets curled up in amusement. “i’m doing a really good job then.”

His brother shouted a protest that he shrugged off, and then his eyelights were back on Sans. “anyway, the name’s sans, but you can just call me ‘suman’ to avoid confusion. and you can call the tall one ‘pompano’.”

“STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO CALL ME A TYPE OF FISH!”

“but it's your favorite fish.”

“Pompano” frowned and rolled his eye sockets. “THAT ISN’T EVEN TRUE. YOU JUST CHOSE THAT WORD BECAUSE IT STARTS WITH A ‘P’ AND HAS THE SAME AMOUNT OF SYLLABLES AS ‘PAPYRUS’.”

“oh yeah.” Suman paused for a moment. “so, you’ll probably be seeing us around from time to time today. we got a lotta deliveries to make.”

“OF COURSE, YOUR HOUSE IS INCLUDED TOO!” Pompano piped. He gave him a smile before he turned to his brother. “THAT’S ENOUGH DAWDLING FOR NOW. I WOULD LIKE TO BE HOME BEFORE THE SUN SETS BACK AT OUR PLACE. THE CHICKENS NEED THEIR BEDTIME STORY!” 

“right, the chickens.”

“YES!”

“what about the cows, sheep, ducks—”

“OH THEY’LL BE FINE!”

“i’m just sensing some favoritism here.”

“PREPOSTEROUS.” Pompano already started walking away from the house.

Suman gave a quick wave to Toriel and Sans before following after him.

Toriel giggled as the two skeletons continued their banter in the distance. Then she looked back at Sans. “I apologize for the delay. I shall get the rest of your things now.” She turned around and walked back into her house.

Sans couldn't help but feel affected by seeing those two skeletons. He thought he was used to seeing alternate versions of himself and others by now but those two…they reminded him of how he used to be. How he and Papyrus used to be.

The teasing remarks. The light banter. The happiness they brought each other.

Of course Papyrus still brought him happiness, that was a given, but.

He doubted he made Papyrus happy.

Toriel returned a moment later, box in hand. She handed it over to him. “Your brother has already moved most of your stuff in, this should be the rest of it.”

The box was pretty small and light. What it held, he had no idea. Honestly, he was surprised he even had enough stuff for there to be box-fulls of it, and all of it was stuff Papyrus brought.

And they moved before Papyrus knew he was alive.

At this point he wouldn't be surprised if guilt killed him before his eye was destroyed.

He bid Toriel farewell and went back home. Again, he spared a glance to Dusk’s place before going to his house. The lights were still off but a basket of vegetables was left by the front door.

He sighed and entered his new house.

He saw Papyrus in the kitchen, stocking the fridge with vegetables. Those farmer brothers were fast, he didn't even see them walking away from the house.

“hey bro. got my stuff.”

He moved his head out of the fridge to look at him with a smile. “WONDERFUL! YOU CAN FINISH UP UNPACKING AND WE’LL FINALLY BE SETTLED IN.”

“sure thing.” He walked over to the living room where the doors to their rooms were located. Thankfully, Papyrus already had his “PAPYRUS ALLOWED” sign hung on his door so it was easy to figure out which room was his.

He entered his room. It was weird to think of it as his room when it looked so different from his old one (and the one at Nightmare's castle). The walls, like the rest of the house, were a light yellow, while the ground was composed of wooden floorboards.

There was a bed situated in one of the corners of the room. A proper bed for once, not just some mattress on the ground. The sheets and pillow case were a light green. Honestly, he wouldn't have minded if the room was just a plain white or beige. Maybe he’d prefer it, even, because it felt like the room itself was a “be happy” sign.

Or maybe he just wasn't used to a room looking so…homey.

He set the box down on a chair and opened it. He didn't know what would be in here, but he didn't expect it to be stuff from his lab. Immediately he reached out to the first thing he saw, his photo album.

Geez, he hasn't seen this in a long time. He lost the key to the lab awhile ago—he lost the key. How did they get this?!

Waving away the nostalgia the album gave him, he set it down and rushed out of his room.

The second he spotted Papyrus he spat out his question.

“papyrus, how did you get the stuff from the lab? we lost the key ages ago.”

Papyrus closed the fridge and turned around. “YOU DIDN’T LOSE THE KEY, YOU GAVE IT TO THE HUMAN.”

“human? which—why would i give it to a human?”

He scoffed, “WHEN YOU PRANKED THEM, REMEMBER? YOU HAD SECRET CODEWORDS AND EVERYTHING.”

Sans’s mind was drawing a blank. It took a few to realize which human he was even talking about. The one that killed Asgore and a lot of other monsters. The anomaly. That human.

The only reason he remembered them now was because Dusk mentioned them from time to time. It was funny. They used to be a huge problem in his life but now he could hardly remember what they looked like.

“how’d you get it back, then? they never came back.”

“WELL, INTERESTING STORY, ACTUALLY—”

“no way.” He was already narrowing his sockets.

“DO NOT MAKE PREMATURE ASSUMPTIONS!” He paused, waiting for him to respond.

He rolled his eye. “okay. i won’t.”

“THE HUMAN SHOWED BACK UP.”

He stared at Papyrus in stunned silence. That didn't make any sense. Why would they come back after that long?

“BUT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, THEY LOOKED THE EXACT SAME?? THEY SHOULD’VE LOOKED DIFFERENT. HUMANS GROW OLDER, RIGHT? AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN STICK AROUND. THEY JUST HANDED ME THE KEY TO THE LAB AND TOOK YOUR PHONE BEFORE DISAPPEARING.”

“took my phone?” Sans’s sockets widened. “....”

Oh god no.

“that asshole can shapeshift?” he muttered under his breath.

He could impersonate people. He could be anyone at any time. How can he be sure he's not someone here?

Is this part of his torment too? Of course they weren't free from him; of course there was a catch. He should've known.

He's not safe here.

“SANS? WHAT’S WRONG?”

Papyrus’s hands were on his shoulders.

“i—” Sans pushed down his instinct to deflect. He sighed, “i need to tell you about where i’ve been this past year.”

[the-crustation-sensation]

How i think arcane s2 fumbled Viktor. Coming from a disabled person

Not proofread we die like all my favorite characters

As previously mentioned, I struggle with chronic pain. I have POTs and probably EDS now that I think about it, and I use a cane on bad days since at times walking long distances is very painful

I started watching arcane shortly after discovering my own disability and I was SO happy to see a well represented disabled character, guess who my favorite character is (hard mode)

Anytime there’s someone with a physical disability represented in modern media, they’re never allowed to just… be disabled, casually. Yes disability massively affects and changes one’s live immensely, but it’s not the only all-encompassing trait of their personality. A lot of the time when I see a disabled character, they’re just there to be disabled. They don’t get a character arc outside of their disability… or much of a personality either (9 times out of 10 their usually always paralyzed in a wheelchair too, but that’s a different conversation)

And sometimes having a characters arc revolve around a disability is acceptable, but it’s not ok to have a token disabled character and do nothing else with their plot line. Disability is allowed to be a part of their story, but it doesn’t have to be the whole story. Make your disabled characters people with a disability, not a blank slate token character.

And that’s why I was so pleased with Viktor in season one. He exists With his disability, not despite it. It was very refreshing to a character have a very defined personality and purpose outside being a token disabled character. Yes of course his disability is a huge part of his story, but it’s not the entire story.

Now how did s2 fumble?

In s1 I think viktors descent into illness was well written, I was kind of expecting his disability to be a big part of his overall character arc in the first place (as it so often is) but in s2 I feels like the writers almost forgot that Viktor was dying of cancer … not trying to perfect himself

I was so excited to see what s2 did with his character arc, and I just ended up.. disappointed. On surface level i loved Jesus!viktor just as much as the next fan, but when you dig deeper into his story it felt so icky

Whenever a disabled person is represented, not only does their character arc revolve around disability, it has to revolve around “fixing” said disability. And a big pattern I see is many character arcs having an undertone of radical acceptance. I.e “you where never broken, you just needed to accept yourself” “you just need to love your disability as a part of you”

No… you don’t have to love the part of you that’s actively causing you pain and lowering your quality of life, or actively killing you like Viktors terminal illness.

Self acceptance with disability is all fine and dandy, but it is SO overplayed and overwritten. You’re allowed to be frustrated with your disability, and learn to move past it.

The big point is Viktor was never trying to ��perfect” himself in s1, he was trying to live.

In s2 they took the idea of Viktor working to cure his terminal illness and ran with it. They blew his arc so wildly out of proportion until he literally became a god obsessed with “perfecting” all of humanity.

And that just felt.. icky. It didn’t feel like Viktor. The Viktor in s1 had a dream of helping his people, of using his creations to uplift everyone! He never would have wanted to force all of humanity into “evolving” without their consent. And do not even get me STARTED on how he completely lost his autonomy to the hexcore, and in turn took it from so many people. That deserves a post on its own

I was so excited for the arcane writers to do something creative with his character arc, but no. Once again a disabled character fell victim to their entire arc being about fixing their disability, only to end with radical self love and acceptance

And the thing is I could get behind an arc of Viktor healing! He deserves to heal and live his life happy and healthy, but to me and him all of a sudden obsessed with “perfection” felt completely out of left field

I think my biggest problem with season 2 overall is that it lost sight of the entire theme of the show. Season one was a beautiful statement about classism, segregation, and how differently it affects people. It was representing real world problems on a scale we could understand. And the best part about s1 was that everyone on the main cast was relatively morally grey, they were humans who had realistic flaws, and made mistakes.

Nobody was shoved into a traditional “good guy/bad guy” box, and that made the show feel so much more real.

S2 was rushed, and for some reason the writers said “actually never mind, we’re going to bend everyone’s morals out of proportion so we can have a big bad villian we all fight at the end”

It had an overwhelming undertone of “forgive your oppressors so we can come together against a common enemy” which felt like a massive slap in the face to everyone who’s actually experience the classism and poverty that arcane represented in s1

I think so many of the problems with s2 could have been fixed or at least explained in detail if we got a s3. I understand as a writer myself that would have been a long, and expensive process that the arcane producers weren’t willing to go through. But I can’t help but mourn the story we could have had if the writers were just allowed to spend more time on it.

Overall, I could write an essay picking apart every tiny detail of arcane in general, so I’ll stop here. I just needed to get this rant out in writing and out of my head, I’m so insanely disappointed and mildly insulted with how the arcane writers treated Viktor, who had such potential

Feel free to share your opinions or completely disagree with me in the comments, please be kind as this is just my humble analysis and opinion.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Proper Etiquette Chapter 1, Whine and dine

Masterlist Word count: 1.3k Xavier x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your family is rich. Filthy rich. So rich that they bought titles for themselves and their children. Sadly, your parents want their titles to mean something and have an arranged marriage lined up for you. You told them you’d agree to it if you were allowed to live as a “commoner” for two years and if you’d find someone you loved who would marry you, you could. Surprisingly, they agreed. Only downside is that that deal was made 18 months ago and you really do not want to go back to that life.  

Author's note: Welcome to a new story! This one is about Xavier. I wanted to get the first chapter out there, but the next chapter is coming after I've finished my Sylus fic. Hope ya'll like it <3

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains swear words, talk of violence, mentions of alcohol, drinking, and smoking, sex, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

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'Can you at least pretend to have fun?' 

Your friend, Jeremiah, is getting increasingly annoyed at your sour face. Completely understandable of course. You two are in public, having dinner together. People might misunderstand and think you are here against your will. 

'I'm sorry,' you say, sitting up a little straighter, 'I'm just a bit down in the dumps.' 

'Yeah, well, being down in the dumps isn't going to get you a husband,' Jeremiah snaps back. Your eyes widen at his cruel words. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. 'Sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just-' 

'It's been a long week. I know,' you finish his sentence, trying to calm your nerves. Jeremiah is the only one who knows about your whole ordeal. You told it to him one drunken night whilst you two were watching a movie. 

What is your whole ordeal? Well, buckle up. 

Your parents came into money after your grandparents died and became completely blinded by the wealth. Apparently, your grandparents had quite the nest egg they were hiding. Probably for this exact reason. All that aside, your father is a smart man and managed to turn their fair bit of wealth into a grand bit of wealth. 

That only fed their delusions of grandeur. They started considering themselves high society while, just a few years ago, all of you were pinching pennies to go out for a birthday dinner. Now, they felt like they deserved titles and bought one for themselves, for your sister, and for you despite your disagreement. 

Eventually, it still wasn't enough. No, they wanted real titles, real wealth, real respect. Your older sister has been married for a while, but they saw an opportunity with you. They started arranging a marriage for you with some member of high society. You couldn't care less. As a counter, you proposed a deal. 

You get to live as a "commoner" for two years before the arranged marriage. Just so you can "feel how the real world is." Or at least, that's how you sold it to your parents. You added that you would also like to have the chance to find real love and that you would like to be allowed to marry someone if you found your true love in those two years. 

Your dad, ever the romantic, agreed and convinced your mother to agree as well. They moved you into an apartment, gave you a monthly allowance to assure you'd be comfortable, and left you to your own devices. 

A month in, you met Jeremiah at his flower shop. He was looking for help and you applied. You have been close friends ever since. 

'I swear, once wedding season is over, I am closing the store for a whole month,' he groans, 'we both need a break.' You reach over the table and take his hand. He looks up at your teary eyes as his mouth forms an "o" shape. Wedding season is usually the whole of the summer. Things usually slow down in September before picking up the next month again for fall weddings. 

However, it is the first day of May. You will be gone the first of September. Back to your rich life to marry some lord or prince or whatever your parents have picked out. 

'Maybe we should go over that escape plan again,' you joke, trying hard to smile and thinking back to that same drunken night you told him. The two of you planned out an elaborate escape for you that wasn't at all logical when you looked back on it the next day. 

'We really should,' he agrees and reaches to the bottle of wine you're sharing with his free hand to top off your wine. Before he can, you pull your glass away. 

'I shouldn't drink too much,' you note, 'I'm opening the store tomorrow.' 

'Right, it's your weekend.' Jeremiah almost looks defeated as he pulls his hand away and pours the last bit of wine into his own glass. When you started working for him, you agreed on a schedule that allowed either of you to have one weekend to sleep in. The store is closed on Sunday and Monday so it's only the Friday and Saturday. 

There's a pregnant silence between the both of you. A million questions yet to be asked. Too many for right now, too many to ask before you have to leave. You watch as Jeremiah meets you eyes again with a twinkle in his that you have seen before. 

'No Jeremiah, you can't marry me.' He frowns. 

'Why not? We could be happy together.' 

'Oh yeah? And what would your boyfriend think about it?' He rolls his eyes. 

'He'd understand. Besides-' 

'No. Jeremiah, I couldn't do that to you. Anyway, we can keep being friends. It's not as if I'll disappear from the face of the earth in September.' 

'I know. I just want you to be happy.' You take his hand in yours again. 

'I'll be fine. I promise. Now let's go home and watch some trash TV.' 

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ 

Jeremiah: "Btw, my friend Xavier is coming by to drop off some stuff. Forgot it was your weekend." 

You roll your eyes. Typical Jeremiah. The man can't remember things to save his life. It doesn't matter though; Xavier is not much of a nuisance. In fact, you sometimes wonder if he's a mute. The man refuses to speak more than three sentences to you. 

Just as you put your phone away, you see him walking in carrying a cardboard box looking as handsome as he always does dressed in that white leather jacket of his. He looks a little surprised to see you instead of Jeremiah. Still, you greet him warmly. 

'Hey, Jeremiah told me you'd be dropping off some stuff for him?' 

'Right. Shall I leave it in his office?' 

'Sure, I'll unlock it for you.' He follows behind you like a puppy as you walk to the office. He's been here a million times before and knows the way. You probably could give him the key and let him do his thing, but you feel you don't know him well enough for that. 

However, something strange happens. Something that has never happened before between the two of you. Small talk. Not just any small talk. Small talk that he starts. 

'Jeremiah told me you're moving soon.' 

'That's right. I'm moving back with my parents.' 

'Why?' You open the door for him, and he walks past you. The look on his face is neutral, but there's a curious twinkle in his eyes as he puts the box down on Jeremiah's desk. Everything suddenly feels unreal in the messy office. The dark hardwood furniture suddenly doesn't seem as dark anymore. The piles of files don't seem as high anymore. The chaos doesn't feel as present anymore. 

For some strange reason, it's just you and Xavier and the dust particles flying through streaks of sunlight, and it almost feels magical. Like a scene out of a movie. 

'Did Jeremiah tell you anything about my situation?' He shakes his head. You take a second to consider the consequences of telling him and quickly decide it doesn't matter anymore. 'I had a deal with them that I would try and find love in two years, otherwise they'd arrange a marriage for me.' He frowns and walks around the desk, leaning against it with his arms crossed. Now there is no barrier between the two of you and you suddenly realize how close you are. 

'What for?' 

You shrug: 'Greed.' 

He nods and looks you over for a few seconds from his spot on Jeremiah's desk. Almost as if he's weighing his options. And then he says the most out of pocket thing you've ever heard. 

'I could marry you.' 

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Next

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[welcometoteyvat]

finally typing up my late lantern rite thoughts (very long). overall 100/10 quest I love hu tao

The amount of Xingqiu's brother mentions were insane. Surely we'll see him either as an NPC soon, right? Right? /j Honestly here he sounded pretty competent, nothing like "a simpleton" like Xingqiu's troubles voiceline suggests hmm...

The little model animations were SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. contributed a lot to the experience and made it feel so much more alive. hu tao's expressions especially, but also yun jin's expressions, and Xiangling's "come back, get over here and eat!!!!!1!1!!!" was also really fucking funny. they've been adding these small animations for a while but this event specifically had so many of them and the effort paid off <3

in a similar vein I'm impressed how smooth the animation/model actions were when Xiao put the sigil on us

hu tao lan yan and qiqi fill in the gap fic please

timaeus is kind of silly, also very funny he and ying'er still going strong 2 years later. he's literally learning liyue language for ying'er? genuinely his dedication is impressive. they should make events replayable because how will everyone who missed 3.5 windblume know why timaeus simps for someone a whole country over

we finally know what the fake chinese characters in all those liyue signs represent (kinda ig). I need to look over this part again

if hu tao&/xiangling or hu tao &/yun jin stocks on ao3 don't increase after this I will start biting. MY GIRLS T_T T_TT_T_T_T_T_T_T. bro the farewell section was so tender I enjoyed it greatly. Their relationships with each other got developed on screen.. yun jin and hu tao's banter especially was really cute and really shows us their relationship aside from the hints in their VOs

YUN JIN OPERATIC HILITUNE ON SCREEN. the fanvid of it from bilibili can finally rest, thanks for your service, canon got here 4 years later.

Yun Jin, having practiced the tao dou opera, MUST have known something correct?? or else she wouldn't have asked hu tao so many times to promise to come back, right? She trusts Hu Tao so much :'''' . if Hu Tao says she can handle it, Yun Jin knows there's no stopping her, and she will find a way, but it doesn't stop her from worrying nonetheless :''').

hu tao's death flags during part 2......

my agenda is speaking, but I wish Xingqiu and Hu Tao directly talked during the farewells section. something something chivalry and sacrifice. Hu Tao makes her peace with giving up everything to resolve the Tao Dou issue, but is Xingqiu at peace with losing a friend even tho its selfish of him to want her to stay? he has personal stakes in this please just let them talk a little

I'm really really glad they went through with the death, they showed Hu Tao's emotions, they showed her father and grandfather waving her off. I broke, she looked so tired but satisfied (thinking about her vision story, where she waited so long for her grandfather to never appear vs him visiting her for just a brief moment here)

my other favorite shot is when traveler pulls her out and she looks at them in muted surprise. she just looked so sad and fragile and in need of a hug :(((

the Themes (waves hands wildly). hu tao's father's lingering regrets were his fatal flaw, and so Hu Tao settles her affairs properly and steels herself before going to die. she leaves behind the plum blossom branch just like her grandfather left his hat.. genuinely what the hell. the parallels between her cutscene goodbye and her saying "happy lantern rite" kills me

the epilogue last year with the fontaine tourists was pretty fanservicey, and tbh the epilogue the year before was also somewhat fanservice to me, (liyue gang dinner and zhongli venti teasing) though I liked it better. However I think this epilogue was actually really good— the hanging out and the fluff felt natural, it fit with everything else and wasn't super sudden. Maybe this was because of all the setup that happened (Yun Jin and Xiangling's promises to Hu Tao, Xiao and Yelan's dynamic built up in Perilous Trails and their earlier exchange), so the payoff is good instead of forced. After the trials and danger they got put through, everyone gets a chance to relax, and I appreciate the slice of life after the main plot. also Yun Jin's opera was crazy good considering it was not a cutscene, the animation and camera angles really sold it

I thought the special guest was xiao again, like how LR 3.4 had him dragged to the harbor by Hu Tao.... xiaolan banter was also v good though.

THE ADEPTI. they're still watching over Liyue in their own way :') the affectionate bickering about hu tao's name :''''''''

I barely mentioned lan yan in this... her part was pretty minor ngl, her habit of learning everything about a person to the point of sounding a bit creepy is kind of fun though.

alright. fantastic quest absolutely no notes I got almost everything I ever wanted and I am so glad Hu Tao had such an incredible 2nd story quest. chongyun and shenhe exorcist lantern rite next year?

[monkeyartfiend]

@andersweek2025 day 1: power

"How to Stay Still" under the cut

In a fit of self doubt, Anders fails to run away from Kirkwall. (male, mage) Hawke is having none of it, and uses force magic to 'remove an option' for Anders. [some kissing and moaning, lowkey possessive bf, self sabotage. i guess hurt/comfort but theyre both hurt. set in the first 3 year gap. fairly short.]

"Tell me this isn't what I think it is," Hawke's two fists raised before him, one clenching a paper with a messy ink message in Anders' handwriting, the other tightly casting a magic force hold on his partner mage's struggling body. The Kirkwallian magic Hawke had picked up and favored in the years since escaping to the Free Marches now felt strange in his hands used against his own dear friend.

Anders gulped down a rising tide of stress. He strained uselessly against the unforgiving magic bonds Hawke caught him with. He was cramped unstable, still upright only by the magic of the powerful mage he had entangled himself with. But that entaglement had been too much. They'd gotten so close recently, and it wasn't fair - there was no possibility of a happy, normal future for Hawke if they stayed together. In his worst moment of doubt and fear, he returned to the thing that had always saved him in the past. So Anders replied through clenched teeth, "It's exactly what it looks like." He gasped for breath as the blue bonds of force tightened around him, "Hawke.. you have to let me go before it's too late."

Hawke crumpled the page, throwing it aside as he strode closer to Anders, pulling the mage to him. Anders' feet dragged along the cobbled ground until they were face to face, and Anders gasped a cry under the weight of Hawke's intense gaze. The buildings were squeezed very close in this alley, so no designer had bothered adding windows that would just look into other buildings. There was a community fountain built into the western wall a few paces away, and a few doors scattered further down the steps of the alley that led south out of the city.

"No," Hawke finally said after searching his partner's tired eyes, "I need you to understand that I want you by my side," he pulled Anders' body right to his own, feeling the magic drain from him. Hawke put out his strong arms and caught the blonde mage as he stumbled out of the grasp of force magic. Anders caught his breath, feeling his feet firmly on the ground again, and put his hands on Hawke's chest. "I want you right here," Hawke hushed, and leaned his head to gently kiss Anders' cheek. "If I have to tell you that a thousand times, I will," he clasped his hands behind Anders' back, locking the pair together in the darkness of Kirkwall's tight alleyways. "Please don't run away from me."

Overwhelmed by the warmth and strength and conviction from Hawke, overwhelmed by his own constant need for escape and the fact that he had really tried to run away again, from the only person in his life who had endlessly supported him. Overwhelmed by the spirit inside him who pushed and pushed at his psyche, who demanded things of him and his body. Overwhelmed by playing out the same story again, standing captured - but not by a jailor. Not in chains.

In love.

Held fast by someone that embraced his whole self, his choices and his mistakes, encouraged him to be better. Anders realized he was deeply, desperately relieved to have been caught by Hawke before he enacted his plan to get out if the city, "Please don't let me go," he pressed his face into Hawke's collar and gripped his partner's robe.

"I have you." Hawke knew what he was doing. Knew that the tightness in his chest he'd grown used to from taking care of younger siblings who made stupid choices, who were far from him now, was growing and changing for Anders. New fears tangled up with hope. It was his joy and his challenge to care for Anders, and he wasn't going to make it easy for his mage to slip from his fingers. He pulled back a little, and ran his hands over the fabric of Anders' robes, until Hawke's callused hands found Anders' stubbly jaw and gently pulled his head up for eye contact. His voice broke through his tight throat, "Please believe me," he swallowed, realizing he was getting teary, "when I say I love you, I mean now and tomorrow, and forever." Hawke cast his eyes down, unable to meet the depth of emotions swimming in Anders' moonlit eyes. "I know what's inside you because I feel it too. All the rage. All the sorrow." He put his forehead on Anders' and moved to take his partner's cold hands and hold them steady. His eyes flickered back to meet Anders', "Don't be afraid of me. I am with you."

Anders closed the distance between their lips before the words bubbling in his mouth got out. You couldn't possibly know what it's like. Their lips crushed together, legs loosing blood. You were always an apostate, you don't know what it is to be under their thumb. Anders opened his mouth, Hawke moved in symmetry against him and their teeth clicked. Anders felt the stiff hair of Hawke's mustache on his skin and kissed it. You don't know me, and if you truly did, you'd hate what you saw. Anders licked at the crease of Hawke's lips, mustache and skin and teeth and gums. Hawke met him at every turn, letting him explore, exploring him in turn. I know you love me. You shouldn't. I hurt the you I made inside my head so that the you standing before me now kissing me lightheaded might see what I really am, and leave me to ruin myself all on my own. Hawke let go of Anders' hands and pushed his mage back until he was pressed into the low edge of the stone water basin built out in the side of the tall old buildings of Kirkwall.

"I love you," Hawke whispered into Anders' mouth, wishing the words were a spell that could travel down his partner's throat and root deep inside the mage until he understood.

Anders felt the hot breath of his partner's words dance on his skin, and he moaned, unable to form words against the tide of self hate inside himself. He gasped as Hawke continued kissing him, his cheeks his eyes his ears his neck. Anders felt his knees buckle and he sat back against the edge of the stone water structure.

Hawke continued against him, wanting, needing, the desperate touches to prove to his mage that they could move as one body, working together in love.

Anders felt the cool bite of rough stone on his hands and pressed his fingers tightly into it, mixing sensations of warm hands running underneath his robes, with cold hard rock on his legs and back. The clash was painful, and Anders gasped out, "H-hold me with your magic again," the words were out before he knew what he was saying, what he even wanted. Hawke pulled back a little, and watched Anders' face searching for more words. "I-" he started, then pulled his hands from the stone behind him and gripped Hawke's robes, feeling the embroidery under his thumbs, "I want to feel.. entirely just you," he mumbled and tilted his head to expose his neck, "all around me."

Hawke wasted no time in pulling the magic through his body to wrap the force around Anders as he had done when he found the mage running down this alley towards the edge of Kirkwall. "Is that what you want?" He asked, voice husky from the desperate kissing and almost crying. Anders felt nothing but the blissful squeeze of magic on his body. He couldn't move to nod, so Anders was forced to meekly say, "Yes."

Hawke managed the gentle magic flowing from him to Anders. It was simpler force magic than the way he manipulated it usually to hold bands of attackers at bay, or to slam swordsmen coming too close to him far away. It was, nice, he realized, to control the force more subtly, holding only one, his beloved, tightly against him. Hawke closed his eyes and briefly imagined waves of force magic rippling across Anders' body, testing exactly how much control he could have. When Anders gasped and moaned as the force rippled down, Hawke smiled satisfied and opened his eyes to see his partner's face all screwed up in revelation of sensation. "You like when I have complete control over you, don't you," he asked curiously, almost teasing.

Anders' heart raced, "Yes," he breathed.

Hawke pressed forward and kissed him and said, "I'm stronger than you. I can remove the option for you to run away. So what choice remains if you know I won't let you leave?"

"I don't want to leave you," Anders whispered.

"I know you don't," Hawke refreshed his magic around Anders, "but running is the only thing you know how to do."

"I'm sorry," Anders relished the feeling of being held by his partner. All other sensation was lost to him.

"It's alright, love." Hawke ran his hand through Anders' hair and kissed his face, "Just, learn how to stay still for a while, please," he kissed Anders' lips, infuriating his partner who was nearly unable to respond, "for me," they locked eyes again as Hawke let Anders go.

Anders crashed into Hawke, taking his bearded cheeks and holding his face tightly against his own as they kissed again. Hawke wrapped his arms around Anders, and pulled him into himself, stumbling backwards as Anders put all his might towards getting as much contact with Hawk as possible. Hawke gasped out, "Will you come home with me?"

Anders nodded, holding Hawke's face, "Yes, yes I will, of course I will."

[thewardenisonthecase]

ok so listen. In the grand scheme of things, none of this matters, its just a video game and I shouldn't get this worked up about it. But my god do I need to talk about this.

Like I am not surprised that a white man from north america, who has gone on record to call the qunari "islamic borg" and back pedalled on saying that the dalish are definetly not inspired by indegenous people at all, would say some shit like this.

But its still BAFFLING to me to come out here and say that the group of people who are *taken from their homes as children*, who are abused and raped, who are not allowed outside contact with the world, who cannot hold lands or titles, who can get their identity erased (hello 'anders is not his real name'), who can get their own personality and personhood stripped from them is somehow, a story not about oppression but about gun control. 🤡🤡🤡

Don't get me wrong. I think thedas having a prejudice against mages makes for an unique world and interesting storytelling. but what is the goddamn point then, if you refuse to actually engage with what that means.

This is why they couldn't actually fucking adress the goddamn templar and mage war in DAI. Because that would require understanding why the mages are revolting and to do that, you'd have to acknowledge that YES, the chantry IS wrong in how it treats mages and that it needs to change. But I guess that's too fucking radical, and DA does not seem to ever be actually interested in changing the status quo.

Its just INSANE to me because like how can you add something as cruel as the rite of tranquility. something as cruel as the stories of mages being dragged away from their homes, and not think its about opression. to be SURPRISED, even, that most people would disagree that mages are dangerous. Because to me, the mages being at risk of posession was always a lame excuse, considering that heightened emotions seem to attract more demons and guess what? being constantly abused would definetly heighten certain emotions ( PROPS to dorian in that one VG ocdex entry for poiting that out).

How are we NOT supposed to think its about opression when you have examples, IN THEDAS, of mages who live outside of the chantry and who aren't dangerous? Hello, seers of Rivain? The Avvar? Tevinter is filled with mages and you don't hear stories of 'random mage gets posessed and kills 70 people'.

Its just baffling to me that it feels so much of what I find interesting in regards to this whole mage thing is apparently unintentional or intentional in the WORST way possible. For example, I was thinking about how mages are very dehumanized within andrastian socities, to the point where they are treated like they're not even citizens of that nation. I felt that when Meredith talks about "protecting the people of kirkwall" and my first thought was well, the mages are also citizens of kirkwall so how is that fair. Another point is the fact that mass murdering mages is fucking a-ok. In ANY other situation, killing a bunch of people would be wrong, but because mages are seen as not-human (and i say human in the sense of person), its fine to kill all of them.

And now I'm thinking that yeah all of this is happening bc the fucking writers themselves also don't see the mages as people.

This is why the topic of blood magic keeps running in circles. Because the writing is on the wall: so many blood mages that we meet in the games turned to blood magic as way to fight back against the templars. They're doing it OUT OF DESPERATION. Even fucking Anders can point out as such, when you're looking for grace he says "They raised the bloody dead. they must be desperate" because guess fucking what.

It doesn't matter how powerful mages are. It doesn't matter that they can lit things on fire with a snap of their fingers and this or that. Because even with all this power, THEY ARE STLLL NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT AGAINST GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TEMPLARS. WE GET TOLD THAT REPETEDLY; Wynne tells us the mages won't survive the right of annulment, Orsino says the thing. Its almost like, if you have a heavily militarized group that has the ability to cancel out the magic, SUDDENLY they are actually stronger than the fucking mages.

like david, you wanna take a fucking wild guess as to why people don't see the mages as dangerous as you put? BECAUSE YOU MADE THEM OPRESSED. YOU DID, EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO. HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING BLIND TO THE OWN SHIT YOU WRITE.

its just....gah. I shouldn't be worked up about something from 2020 but its just so. incredibly. baffling.

I FOUND IT. I FOUND THE FUCKING THING I WAS LOOKING FOR.

THIS. MAKES ME. SO. FUCKING. MAD.

(source)

[so-make-the-moon]

Long-winded cat health update ahead! I don't know if I've written about my cat here in the last few months, but he just had his (maybe) final recheck and it was quite positive! I work at an animal hospital, but at the end of May he had an injury that just wouldn't heal so he ended up going to the specialty centre in the city for an MRI where we found out he had a herniated disc (and 2 more that were close). So he had spinal surgery (hemilaminectomy) mid-late June and unfortunately because there's only one orthopedic veterinary surgeon in the province, he couldn't have it done at my clinic. Luckily I do have insurance on him, but it was still a big bill (about $3500 - yes, after insurance. The total bill, MRI and surgery, was about $11,000, but the original estimated high end was $19,000). He was healing well, doing great, keeping him contained and then, of course, he decided to barbarize his tail. So while he didn't need a cone for the spinal surgery itself, he suddenly needed one so we could stop him from licking and re-injuring the tail. Because he had the cone on now, he was shaking his head a lot, and then he got an aural hematoma. Because he was on an NSAID for the tail wound, he couldn't get any steroids which is the treatment for aural hematoma. I. WAS. STRESSED. We finally were able to get him his steroids after being off the NSAIDS for a few days, the aural hematoma healed, the tail is still a problem but now we're doing some new things, BUT- He's finally allowed almost all activity again. Surgery-wise, he's healing amazingly well. He's not allowed to jump unsupervised yet because he doesn't have any muscle mass in his left hind leg (which was always the trouble leg since the very beginning of the injury), so we need to get him running and playing again to build some of that up and then he's allowed to jump. We've still got a ways to go to get him to 100%, and he might never get there if there's permanent damage to the nerves, but we're very happy with his healing process. I've been so stressed in general, and then all of this on top of it, plus school, plus not working as much BECAUSE of school, so it was nice to get some good news.

[hellamorte]

do you ever think about how lucanis keeps losing and losing and losing — his entire life? losing his parents, losing his childhood because of the crow training, losing his freedom, his sleep, and one year of his life due to imprisonment. then the maker smiles upon him, and he's discovering something good (rook, the veilguard team, purpose), acquiring something back (his family, his life, his freedom, his job, his city), finding some peace in mundane things (coffee, cooking, taking care of others). it feels like the scales are finally moving, balancing — only for him to lose again. he loses caterina, he can lose his city to blight, he loses at weisshaupt, he loses grip on himself (thanks to spite), he loses control — he loses himself, piece by piece. rook can help lighten the load on his chest (thanks to spite), he gets caterina back, and breathing feels a little bit easier. but loss is not done with him. he loses illario, and it feels like losing a limb, a large piece of himself violently torn away. he's visibly shaken, but no one truly knows what it takes to string the assorted pieces of himself together and keep functioning. and then loss deals what seems like the final blow: some of his friends are dead or lost, and rook is gone, too. he failed; he only knows death, doesn't he? life only takes, and takes, and takes, giving only to tease and take it back. at that moment, he's falling apart completely — until they find rook, and there's a sliver of hope once again. the scales are moving, the team wins, they eventually go back to their lives — and that's when he realizes that the final blow is the life as the first talon.