#but i felt better afterwards
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My head...
#drank too much i threw up on the way home last night#but i felt better afterwards#but i had a great time
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law doodles
#drew these while having an intense panic attack LMFAO#it worked#i felt way better afterwards#🦌🥀 ❝ law#lawrence oleander#boyfriend to death#btd2#btd2 lawrence
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Uncomfortable with dancing.
Ramshackle prefect felt a bit ridiculous crying while wearing cool clothes.
Based on a personal experience and a part of me really felt bad for Idia when he had to go dance and sing in front of people, would have been mortified as well.
#twisted wonderland#glorious masquerade#rollo flamme#twst rollo#twst yuu#Yea got asked for a dance once a long time ago and although it was nothing wrong or bad I was on the verge of tears#i really really do not like dancing in public spaces with lots of ppl#I refused and felt like a big idiot afterwards but it was still better than dancing#anyway-I thought it would be an interesting take for wet rug ramshacle prefect here#And I think that since Rollo is a lowkey simp and on the calm side (well mostly) he would understand#and the next day Rollo got his uniform stolen by that same person#Once againnwas supposed to work on other drawings but I blacked out and woke up to rollo content on my screen
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Ashley was no longer interested in the relationship and decided to end it.
Vincent was heartbroken.
#sims#sims 3#ts3#ts3 gameplay#ts3 legacy#day legacy#day gen2#ashley day#vincent reed#yeah so for 4 sim days they did nothing romantic or interact with each other at all (which was strange to me)#like no thoughts or wishes or autonomous anything#it really felt like they were just co parenting with each other and after some testing I felt like they were better apart#ashleys wishes afterwards appeared like she was relieved to be broken up unlike vincents who was distraught
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okay that stupid ass drink wore off and idk how i managed to 1. draw and 2. post said drawings while like that
realized partway thru my loopyness that the reason i was actin so weird was mostly bc of the drugs, yes, but also because said drugs made me relax so much i fully unmasked and was havin a great time, autism for the win yet again. but because of that i am just now realizing how anxious and on edge i am even in my own home, yeesh.
sorry about earlier btw, but i think it was funny
#anyways dont do drugs kids#i legit only drank this stupid thing bc of my rib pain so eh#decent experience even tho i cried. but i surrounded myself with all my sun and moon plushies afterwards and immediately felt better
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so many Chekhov’s guns unfired!
(aka i am frothing at the mouth over fionna and cake’s finale and have things I need to say)
what happened to thing glitching and becoming normal when fionna and cake touch them
what about the show cheers? why was the last episode named after it when it played almost no part
why is prismo glitching?
ASIDE FROM THAT
I both love and feel unsatisfied with the finale
It felt like Simon was spoonfed his revelations
the final episode felt like a rushed attempt at a ‘and they all lived happily ever after’
what happened to the rest of farm world Finn’s family? Did he die? Is he okay with his son leaving to go to another world forever? What about the other children?
why does Simon move on so fast? Not even a year? And he has to get basically spoonfed by a choose your own adventure book to come to the realisation his relationship with Betty was not exactly healthy
Also what happened to Marceline and regular Finn? Did they not notice Simon disappearing for a week? We needed more interaction between them!
HOW WOULD MARCELINE FEEL ABOUT HIM WANTING TO BE ICE KING AGAIN
WE NEEDED THIS INTERACTION
WE WERE STARVED
idk it wasn’t a BAD finale but it wasn’t amazing either
it felt okay
but I am definitely going to ao3 to get that missing angst and feelings
might even write something
(pls excuse any spelling mistakes this was made at 2am full of emotion after the finale with no checking)
but srsly I had tears in my eyes after ‘The Star’ and comparatively the ending feels shallow where everyone gets to live happily ever after and everything is fine with no heartfelt reunions or residual feelings about what just happened
did Simon just not tell anyone he went on a crazy multiverse adventure? Or was he just like lol this happened to me… MOVING ON! It isn’t shown if any of the people close to him know what he went through
pls I needed more Marceline
I am begging there is a season two
these guns need firing
and if hbo won’t do it
then I will
#fionna and cake spoilers#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#adventure time#spoilers#fionna and cake episode 10 spoilers#no but we needed more Marceline and finn screentime#Marceline: hey finn have you seen Simon? he’s been missing for almost a week and won’t pick up his phone#Finn: idk last time I saw him he said he felt like his life had no purpose and he sometimes wishes he was ice king again#Marceline: what#Finn: then I took him into the forest on an adventure to fight monsters#Marceline: YOU WHAT#Finn: afterward she said he felt better and that he was fine#Marceline: he told me that too… oh no#still liked the finale but also it felt a bit meh#fanfic here i come
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Also it really sucks bc I want to draw but I CAN’T bc I’m in a lot of pain rn. Sitting here like
#AUGHH. I’m still in physical therapy btw.#I was doing p good for a while until I sat in the car for a 5 hour round trip and that fucked my back up SO bad#So I relapsed. And my pain has been Bad for the past couple weeks#Not nearly as bad as it was at the beginning but my pain levels are back up#Which makes me so MAD bc I was at the point where I barelyyy felt it#SIGHS#Well. I’m getting dry needling done tomorrow and that should help#Not SUPER fond of the idea of needles getting poked into my back but at this point I’ll do anything#My therapist says everyone who’s done it under his care has felt a lot better afterwards#And I trust his judgement so.#I’ll be poked and prodded at tomorrow morning lol#I just want this to be over. It started in May. It’s October now#It’s been what. Five months?? FIVE????#It’s almost been half a year since this started oh my fucking god. Killing myself#Shima speaks
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: SUR'KESH
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Wrex
With: Lt. Steve Cortez, Dr. Mordin Solus, Major Kirrahe, and Urdnot Bakara
And a Special Guest Appearance by: Adm. Steven Hackett
Alliance R&D has officially begun construction on the Prothean device. The team has dubbed it: "Project Crucible". We're throwing everybody who knows how to throw a hammer at it. This is gonna be the most ambitious undertaking in human history. I'm not saying it won't be a challenge- but we can do this, Shepard. You can do this. Never doubt that.
Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
+BONUS (the smirk™️)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#urdnot wrex#steve cortez#mordin solus#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#i feel like i probably should have split the actually sur'kesh set in half like i did with mars#but i got lazy after i split out the normandy summit gifs and i wanted to keep the rest of the mission together lol#wrex having small conversation moments with james and EDI was everything to me#bc with both of them it felt like wrex passing on some of his old kid on the block knowledge to the new kids on the block and i just 🥺#like i didn't get it in the gif but the second part of that convo with james he says something like#'you're one of shep's new recruits? hang on kid- it's a hell of a ride!' and when i tell you i SOBBED#like the entire first half of this playthrough is soph taking her newer squadmates out to help her build the army for the reaper war#so running into all these old friends/teammates and hearing them share their wisdom with james and EDI as new recruits is everything to me!#also EDI and james look very cute in their armor (ESPECIALLY EDI IN HER HUNTER HOOD I LOVE HER YOUR HONOR)#i'm just gonna say wrex's little tongue out at the salarians in the background of padok's gif sent me so hard i had to include it LMAO#and i'd write something about the mordin cameo but the mordin cameo on tuchanka is better so i'll save my thoughts for that one#ig thanks for being wrex's inside man mordin you were real for that one#the real salarian homie of this mission was kirrahe and i love him (he's my favorite and i adore him thank you for coming to my TEDtalk) :)#and i will also say that i adore bakara and she's the highlight of this mission for me bc of the lines but also like???#her grabbing the shotgun from wrex to take out the cerberus troops is everything and his expression afterwards is *chef's kiss*#and SOPH'S LITTLE SMIRK LMAOOOOOOO i had to include it bc i saw it in the back and it sent me to the next dimension lol#and since i just use the tags to share all my annoying little thoughts on a final note:#i included the elevator bomb scene bc in soph's canon she gets injured during it for the shenko angst pre-coup bc i'm an angsty bitch :)
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People who say that Beauty and the Beast (1991) endorses Stockholm Syndrome and domestic abuse have very grossly missed the entire point of the story.
#disney#beauty and the beast#meta#disney meta#txt#belle was never abused once by the beast in the movie. he was really just a jerk#y'all do realize that there are people who are jerks that aren't necessarily abusive#now they might have a higher inclination for it but no beast never abused her#the scene where he lost his temper was supposed to show how much beastly nature was having a hold on him and he immediately showed regret#afterwards. as soon as belle called him out on his bad temper he never tried any other shit ever again#y'all really think that if he was abusive he would have redeemed himself THAT quickly?#again he did act like an ass but he was not an abuser. i don't think he woulda even been able to stomach doing something to her#unintentionally or not#the entire point of the story is that despite him literally being a beast belle was able to see “beauty” in him#she was able to look past that and see that he was actually a good person but that he just needed to improve himself#see belle wasn't a “i can fix him” type. she was the inspiration for him to become a better individual#being with her made him feel things he probably never felt before. he felt loved wanted desired#that is what he needed but had stayed away from because of his own insecurities#which is also why this discussion about whether he was hot in his human form or not is irrelevant in the end#belle loved him for who he was and she probably thought he was the most beautiful man in the whole world both visually and spiritually#also beast respected and loved belle. gaston only lusted her and saw her as a pontential trophy wife to boost his social status#you see gaston and beast are actually quite similar in the beginning#but the thing is that beast has virtues that gaston lacks#beast also wanted belle just to break a spell although he did try to show her humanity to show that there was an emotional complex human#being but he did genuinely fall in love with her and let her go. he sacrificed himself and his servants because he truly loved her#gaston would have never done that before he was already too far gone in his fixation with being the BEST#anyways#i have gone long enough about this but you get my point
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just wanted to thank everyone that's been encouraging me or offering some kind of support the last few times I talked about getting a cane... because I went and got one today and I didn't think it would make that much of a difference. I underestimated how much it would change for me.
So thank you <33
#got a prescription from my GP last week and gathered my nerves together to get one today#thankfully we have a health care supply store only ten minutes away on foot#I'd planend on getting an anatomical one as prescribed by my GP and it was comfortable and id probably have chosen it too but#then the lady there told me to try the derby handle instead and honestly that was even better plus i can use it on both sides#its sleek and black for now because i can barely bear the thought of anyone seeing me using a cane in our small town in the first place#but once im comfortable..#anyway we went to a shop across the street afterwards because my besties mum needed to get some things and I didn't wanna go home by myself#and tbh i preferred the thought of going into our small city centre with somebody i trusted and felt comfortable around the first time aroun#long story short im super suprised by the difference it's making 😬 i mean ofc i didn't just get the cane on a fluke#but it was like 'well let's try it out it may help and people keep saying it's for stability and chronic pain too so why not'#yeah so apparently i did need it#i felt so much better#there were several instances where i noticed the cane kept me from stumbling or swaying or missing a step#it felt good#so thank you all
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post depressive episode clarity like what the fuck do you mean they'll never disappear, just fade.
#mine#tw: sh#i'll be a 30yo woman a 40yo woman a 50yo woman a 60yo woman and someday an old woman with SCARS ON MY ENTIRE LEGS?? like forever????#and i KNOW i broke through enough skin layers for these to never heal entirely like catscratches do#forever? for real? like the rest of my days? i'm never gonna have a healthy clean body like everyone else ever again?#it's THAT easy to just throw it away forever in a second?#i'm gonna be sick#what the fuck man#like both shoulders both thighs both calves entirely ruined#what the actual. fuck.#FUCK.#the awful part of the last year is over thank god#it was an episode lasting from like idk january until#august maybe#i think i'm finally feeling better#but i was really looking into legal psychiatric euthanasia there. drafting my fucking mail to the Dying With Dignity type companies#cause i went to a shrink who told me that i have bpd and while i didn't believe him#fact of the matter is that in some eu countries you're allowed to get euthanized for that. so .#but that doesn't matter i'm a bit better now i'm not thinking about it as much anymore#but it sickens me that#not only do i have to fucking take it alone#but i also have to deal with a lifetime of ridicule disgust “turn off” and pity afterwards#my own best friend told me to make sure to cover up when we slept at a relative's#and i felt it was ridiculous that anyone could even judge me negatively based on the scars when it's me who had to deal with this shit#not them!! and clearly it wasn't fucking easy!!! like if anyone it's not you who's getting hurt from this!!!!!!#i asked her whether she would ever be thrown off by seeing healed scars#and in the coldest tone she replied 'No but I would not know how to explain that to my kids.'#the relatives did not. in fact. have kids.
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hey if rinne can have his mum and niki can have his can himeru have kaname back
He nii-chan jacket too big for he gotdamn he,,,,,
#enstars#himeru#kaname tojou#himeru can have 1 nice thing from me. as a treat.#but also 'cause i felt bad for that other doodle req where he was suffering--#'cause i meant to draw something nice for him afterwards but never got around to it so he can have this#anyways so himeru is so incredibly smart yet stupid.#i have said this on main.#YOU BETTER READ THIS PART#there's no way he doesn't know you start losing bone and muscle mass after being bedridden for an extensive period of time.#so there's already a gulf of physical difference between him and kaname (because he is. a very physically active idol)#what is he gonna do when kaname wakes up WHAT IS HE GONNA DO WHEN KANAME WAKES UP#kaname's most likely gonna be in a wheelchair when he does but. yeah my point still stands#'physically identical' my ass#doodle req#sana postal service
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you guys won't believe this but y'all what a miracle..... God's grace always seems to come in floods when you least expect it. The boy problem is now resolved and at rest (well. somewhat.)
I somehow got around to talking to him yesterday about the disastrous conversation (the one where he went on at length about my age) and, God bless him, it was all ignorance rather than malice. He listened for a while, his face becoming more and more drawn and appalled as I explained how X thing came off, and at one point he just put his head on the table and was very, very upset because he hadn't thought about it from my perspective and hadn't realised the effects of his words. It was a surprisingly comfortable conversation (it is always easy to talk to him), and it was a relief to hear from his lips that he hadn't meant any of it in a hurtful way - he hadn't thought about how his words might sound at all.
#it was very sweet really and i am very glad that we are still friends. even better friends even because of this#he felt so badly that he actually wrote a long message apologizing again afterwards#anyway God bless him this is all very new to him!#and he's very conscientious and kind and thoughtful and i am glad that i was wrong about him meaning those things that way#it was a very sincere and honest conversation and i was grateful for it#God's grace abounds y'all a huge weight has been lifted off me and i am so so glad for it!!!#thank you for praying for me so much and for walking alongside me these past three months#it has not been agony the whole time! as i told him it was surprisingly joyful to fall in love with him. and i would go through it again#and i am glad that the end of this was not a careening dreadful painful agonizing end. praise God for that!!!!#the waiting room chapter
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Said goodbye to Chloe today. I think she had a good day. We split a steak and she had fresh catnip for dessert. She slept in the sunny windowsill and enjoyed her favorite weather. Neither her feet nor bladder were too painful either. She went quietly.
#I wanted to hold her and pet her and carry her but thought it better that she use this time how she like#anyway I got to hold and pet and kiss her body afterwards when it would hurt her feet#I miss her already. I’ve had her for such a formative part of my life and my routine wrapped around her care these past six years#but it was the right time and I have no regrets. I don’t regret not doing it sooner and I don’t regret not waiting. it was time.#i still miss her and holding her body at the end felt so surreal but necessary and awful and wonderful. my special beloved kitty kitty#pet death
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Spent half of lunch today ranting about the Tony nominations to all my very confused friends
#I felt so much better afterwards#so much fun#still dying tho#theater kid#musical theatre#musicals#broadway#broadway musicals#musical theater#tony awards#jean has thoughts
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end of march is crazy for writing like i have a 1.5k essay im doing today and tomorrow, a 2k word essay im doing wednesday and a 1k word research proposal im doing friday. and in the remaining week of the month i am WILLINGLY going to finish taob (~10k OPTIMISTICALLY) and make a solid start on tams (~5k-10k depending on how well writing goes). like yes girl write around 20k words worth of MULTIPLE PROJECTS in a handful of days there is no way this can end badly at all
#'hella no one is pressuring you to post anything if you arent able to or are overwhelmed by the barrage of uni work you have atm' stfu#i cannot stress enough the moment i give myself a self-imposed deadline for a fic it HAS to be met#like you guys could beg me to chill out and i simply would not cave#also i just got back from dnd and it was such a good session like i have actual friends there now#and the DM from today actually messaged me on facebook afterwards saying how much he enjoyed playing with me#and he said i brought a lot to the table and my interaction was 'better than some people that have been playing for 5+ years'#I GOT A GOOD GRADE IN DND SOMETHING THAT IS BOTH NORMAL TO WANT AND POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE#and next week is the first week im going without my mate bc she's away so i was a little nervous#but then this guy that's basically adopted us was like 'omg i'll make sure we're on a table together so you at least know me!'#which was nice enough on its own BUT THEN this dm that's been playing for over 40 years who always chats with us after#was like INSISTANT that we go on his table next week which im SO buzzing for bc he's like a veteran player he knows SO MUCH#and it felt very cool that he was actively inviting us like i dont think that's something he does often#hehehe im having fun with the freaks and weirdos <3333#hella goes to uni
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