#but i feel like this tag is also not only abt shipping tho i do use it like that on this blog

[vice-like]

just saw this one in the main tag and it got me thinking... "wanting to do the right thing but having your actions distort your goals" is obviously about natori, he even reflects upon it directly more than once during the chapters BUT even tho world unbent is from natori's pov, i always thought it wasn't just about him but also about matoba and the exorcist world. for me it was clear that midorikawa wanted to expand upon the exorcists and thought natsume's pov wouldn't have been enough for this case (i also think she always wanted to expand upon natori's and matoba's younger days as well)

so with that in mind i tried thinking if that could apply to matoba too and it might be a stretch but i think it does, but in the sense that "the right thing" for matoba and natori are two different things and matoba might not even think abt doing it along those lines

like, from what we've seen, i interpret that matoba genuinely thinks the matoba clan has a responsibility to protect ppl, regardless if they can see yokai or not and he takes that very seriously, most recent example being what he said abt a previous matoba head being unable to protect the miharu; also to achieve this the clan must be powerful above all others and for that he needs to do anything and if he has a limit we haven't seen it yet. we see that during world unbent ("i won't let us fall"), but most recently during homura arc when he was willing to bet his own life just to be able to control a powerful vessel (being shortsighted enough abt the possibility that natsume had to snap him out of it), he's power hungry, but weirdly enough he's like that because it's "the right thing to do" or what he must/needs to do, the matoba must be powerful to be able to protect anyone and anything ("you can't protect anything if you're not powerful, shuuichi-san")

so "having your actions distort your goals", how does that apply to matoba in a world unbent? midorikawa was merciful enough to let us know his initial goal (or what he wants ppl to think his goal is?): "i'm looking for allies i can use" and at first he was definitely testing if natori could be that, but by the second part (that tellingly starts with a companion matoba artwork to natori's in the first part) i think he wanted to work with natori so badly simply bc he was a peer his age, probably the first and only in the exorcist world and for this interpretation i have no evidence just vibes lol besides this part in midorikawa's afterword from homura arc

anyways, for me this conversation during the second part of world unbent is the best example of matoba's actions distorting his goal:

in my interpretation matoba's goal here was to be picked by natori to be that person, to be his peer, to be the one that teaches him and works with him and "he's better" bc he's more powerful than takuma-san and that's a fact (also idt he wanted to be his "mentor" per se, i think he wanted to be closer than that but that's my bias lol). as i see it, matoba was not trying to bad mouth takuma (and i think natori understood that too), but simply stating what's most important: power, which is ultimately very different from the things that natori puts first, even tho he's also seeking to be a more powerful exorcist

another thing that is also funny about these two understanding but mostly misunderstanding each other is that natori wants to become powerful so he could be needed, so he can protect ppl, "do the right thing", which is the same but also different from the reason why matoba seeks power and the kind of power they seek is also different but the same in one aspect, natori wants spiritual power but also "power" to better himself, to be a better person, while the power matoba seeks is spiritual but also a power that will make the matoba clan unbeatable which can be power over ppl

the way his actions distort his goal here is this: natori focuses on the fact that matoba values spiritual power and the power one can have over another more than someone's character and what natori wishes to learn from ppl like takuma is how to be better as a person so he can carve his own path or at least finally find what his path even is and how to set himself in it. this blinds him to anything else, him and matoba are fundamentally different, end of story. and so from his pov he can not see what matoba is offering which was actually matoba's main goal in this conversation: "I can teach you, I can work with you, I can protect you, I can help you become more powerful, I can protect ppl, so you should stick with me, you sould use me instead of him" and matoba's shocked reaction is proof he was misunderstood and natori's reaction to this conversation was unexpected to him, if my interpretation of what he meant is right or not is up to debate tho

so if natori realises and reflects upon his "actions distorting his goal" does matoba do the same? and that's what intrigues me a lot here, because honestly i don't know, we are not shown that ever. does matoba realise how his actions can hinder his goals? does he care enough to reflect on it? does he care abt how he's perceived? does he care about how natori perceives him specifically? and honeslty the way he gets "worse" abt this in the present timeline (being an unsettling little shit especially towards natsume) makes the interpretation that he doesn't care enough to change and so doesn't reflect upon it seem plausible but when it comes to matoba maybe it's simpler that that:

from afterword for chapters 52-54

he's just like that, he is who he is, the matoba clan head but also matoba seiji and he's not afraid of his mistakes, he'll face them head on even if they distort his goals. most interesting tho, while i do think he's like that partially bc he's a little shit and likes having fun ruffling ppl's feathers, i think it's interesting how there's a possibility of him seeing that habit as a mistake, idk if that interpretation is right but matoba is a character that is difficult to interpret especially bc we dont get his pov, he's a confusing character and the fact we never get into his head makes him even more multifaceted. now that we're getting more into matoba clan drama maybe someday we'll get his pov, but until then ig it souldn't be too hard to think a person notices and reflects upon their mistakes right? well, unless the person is matoba seiji, then i dont know.

there's other things i want to talk abt here, especially the fact that natori wants to be needed and current timeline matoba might actually need him, but does natori know that? you think the "a burden can be shared" bs might be an indication that he does, but i don't think he actually does lol also the fact matoba was seeking someone to use but ended up wanting to be used instead to this day (and is ecstatic abt it during homura, one of the many reasons why he looks like he's having the time of his life during those chapters imo), idk just the fact natori recoils at the wording of "someone to use" but wants to be useful himself and matoba ends up wanting to be used by him so badly it's funny (and also a little sad). just these two always wanting the same thing but mostly not and understanding but mostly misunderstanding each other more than anyone ever could for one another, how they could go together seamlessly but mostly don't yet i dont have the capacity to expand upon those right now, midorikawa gotta give me more so, anyways

[waywardsalt]

.

[louisjude]

I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it

hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…

huge answer below

yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.

i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.

toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.

now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.

oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.

aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.

jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.

ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..

the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.

what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.

oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.

he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.

every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.

meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.

so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.

maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.

🫳🎤

[serv0z]

RAHHH a drawing of all the sillies currently occupying my brain right now. Funny thing is!! My last LN related drawing was posted almost exactly a year ago!! how funny! Close-ups and yapping under the cut

I'm running on 3 hrs of sleep bc i stayed up till 5am to make this and then i had a neurologist appt at 8 so!!! (i got officially diagnosed with adhd or add we win, i already forgot which one he said but i get my meds tmrw!!) I might take a nap after this im so exhausted. ANYWAYS.!!! i love. flowey and clover friendship no one start yelling at me abt how flowey didnt care!!! theyre best friends to me!!!! and it works out as im a clover kinnie nd floweys been my comfort character for years now. we win. I don't think monsters really had binders at first (dont use bandages btw guys, dont be like Starlo was!!11) I think the first time one fell into the trash dump or wtvr someone picked it up and then once figuring out its uses just!! boom!! business!! figuring out how to safely make more and!!! finding ways to accommodate certain monsters with different body types!! esp with the spikes and such. Ceroba def helped Starlo out with his bandages often before they were able to get him a binder. the one where clovers drawing is !! an idea of revived!clover or clover staying in the underground in hiding. Martlet got him that shirt :)) and obv the bell earring is from Ceroba. sorry to all my cotl followers i STILL have no colored the 5 body refs of both narinder and lambert. I picked the colors here on a whim so uhmmm it's not official!!! not yet anyways!! i do like what i used for Narinders fur tho, so that might stay idk yet i hte coloring BNJKNKSD i colored this whole thing on a wild impulse.. thus staying up all night. I think clover would really enjoy waterfall if they were ever able to visit it after or during the whole soul thing. It's peaceful and beautiful and also one of my fav areas in base game sooo :) i missed my LN kids. I reread Raccoons on ao3 and remembered how much i loved them and their silly lil dynamic. im a #1 six defender btw i WILL throw hands if u say some wrong shit abt her. mono, less so bc i think a lot of people have a good grasp on his character now but six is ALWAYS villainized. Has been for years nd it ticks me off bc?? she was right for her actions kinda?? not really?? ofc both characters made bad choices that lead to it but dont disregard her feelings either? idk its a whole thing i cant get into on THIS post. a lot of the doodles are just random moments like Six in the Maw with their bigass keys and locks, maybe its one of the ones to the kitchen and thats why she's rushing :D? Mono isnt really. he wasnt meant to be in the end game room but i wanted funky lighting so do with that as u will. Silly stuff with RK and Six, RCG I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT U HUN <333 I JUST DONT HAVE A DESIGN FOR YOU YET!!! same for Low and Alone </3 RK with the nomes my beloved <333 nd ofc the last dance based on the animation on youtube!!! do not tag any of the ln kids as ship!!! and do not tag clover and flowey as a ship either!! only two im fine with in this drawing is staroba or narilamb oki goodnight

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Johnny cade for the "give me a character" thingy cuz I love him :3

How I feel about this character

  I love Johnny, man. Very simple feelings ‘bout him, but yk, I love him. I don’t often…spin him ‘round in my brain like I do with some of the others, but I have a lot of strong opinions abt him and I love him lol

All the people I ship romantically with this character

  I occasionally ship him with Dally, but only occasionally. Idk they’ve got something goin on but idk what lol. I definitely don’t see them as an older brother and little brother, although I get where people are coming from- idk though, that’s like the least interesting take on their whole…deal for me I guess? I (personally) don’t think Dally and Johnny are brotherly/parental at all, and reducing them to that means losing out on the much more interesting (I think) dynamic that they do have- like Dally can’t be vulnerable with anyone BUT Johnny, and Johnny is at his most confident with Dally. And he has power over Dally that no one else does. It could be romantic or platonic for me, but the important thing is that they’re equals imo. I mean c’mon, only one of them’s canonically stabbed a guy to death, and it ain’t Dally. They’re tied together somehow idk man

  I sorta like the idea of Johnny and Sylvia being something tho. I don't think abt it much, but it adds something morally bad to a character that’s supposed to be purely good that I find fascinating. Not the sorta ship I ship per se, but one I like toying with sometimes because there’s so much to unpack there ig. I don’t usually see it as canon but I sometimes like it.

  Finally, I read this GUT WRENCHING fic one time where Johnny was who Sandy cheated on Soda with. I…really liked that fic. The ship hits a lotta the same notes as Johnny/Sylvia but explores Johnny and Soda…idk man again not the sorta thing I usually see as canon but holy shit the fic kinda blew my mind lol. It’s here if y’all wanna check it out- mind the tags and all. It’s a rarepair but it KILLS me man. It ain’t…canon to me, but I think abt it sometimes (the ship and the fic) and just feel things idk. (Part of that is probably b/c I love Soda, but yk)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

  Uhh Dally also honestly

  I mean Johnny and Pony are close too, but I really don’t see them as BEST friends. Ik a lotta people do which is perfectly valid, but in my head they’re…not? I dunno. They’re definitely friends, but TO ME it’s in the way that I’m friends with kids who I’ve grown up with who are like cousins to me now- we’re close, and I know they have my back, and I could tell them anything if I really wanted to, but I probably won’t unless we’re alone together in a church for a week. (@veggiesforpresident just talked abt them earlier today here, and she put it into words a helluva lot better than I am rn- definitely check that out)

My unpopular opinion about this character

He’s tough. I mean everyone knows that, but I’m not massively fond of fics/art that portray him as small and soft. Like sure, Pony sees him that way, but to the rest of the world Johnny is a hood. He may be small, but he can fight. He loves drag races, man!

  Idk, Ralph Macchio put it best in this behind the scenes book I own: 

  “Johnny was always described as the runt of the greaser litter- the one they all protected. However, as the story unfolded he became the most level-headed and clear-minded in the face of adversity. I always recognized that in him even from the first reading of the book at age twelve. I am biased, but he is one of the richest and fully drawn characters in the ensemble.”

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

  I’m biased b/c I love Soda but I woulda loved to see him hanging with Soda. Really the rest of the gang in general (not that there was time for that lol), but it’s canon to me that Johnny was friends with Soda first. Eventually they diverged and became close to Dally and Steve respectively, but in elementary school it was Johnny and Soda. 

  (On the other side of the coin, I like the idea of Dally and Steve having had a bit of a fling that they don’t talk about as a way of repressing their romantic feelings for Soda and Johnny respectively. But that’s not always canon to me lol.)

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

hey there! Feel free to block me if you want, especially if you find this rude or anything. This is actually genuine, i’m NOT being sarcastic or anti.

i’m on the fence about proshipping. On the one hand, don’t like it? Don’t read it. I’ve read some crazy fanfiction that teeters on the line, but that’s not the point. On the other hand, it gets to a point where…you’re just normalizing r@pe or inc3st in fiction. And people say it’s just fiction, but fiction can definitely influence reality! But writing shouldn’t be censored. People should be free to write what they want, however they want. It’s art and should be treated with the same diligence. However, the when, where and how proshipping fanfics are presented SHOULD MATTER. It’s not censorship to require warning tags, or restrict it from young readers more severely.

okay, that’s my little rant lol. Again, i’m not gonna think you hate me if you block me and never answer this ask. Just wanted to get some other points of view and share my own.

dwdw. and thank you for being so respectful and nice abt it <3 anti or not, its always appreciated/gen

and i (personally) have some views that are probably pretty controversial LMAO. Which is pretty much, if something is normalized in fiction and it doesn’t breach over into real life, we’re okay.

say for instance, murder is common in fiction, it has been justified, shown as good, etc etc. practically doesn’t get portrayed or seen as bad. yet irl if someone goes out there and kills a random family, ppl aren’t going to go “oh yeah, thats normal” they’re going to be upset and appalled for what that persons done.

same thing with incest and rape, theres been a lot of fanfics over the years that have those two things, yet both are absolutely abhorrent in real life bc they hurt people, and no amount of normalizing it in fiction will normalize it irl.

And we can even get into old examples like with Greek Mythology where rape and the incest were seen as normal(-ish) in the stories, and still, people think that those things are horrible in real life, so fiction didn’t affect reality there. So, why would it change with like, idk, a wincest or willmike fics.

yes writing can influence reality, but only if you let it. Do research, look at studies, don’t rely on words that a random person made up to tell a story, because then, you are at fault, not the creator or the work. (You spoken generally here, not at you anon)

If you live your life and base your knowledge only on fiction and nothing more, then yeah, your reality is going to be skewed, but again, thats not the fictions fault. - 🧁🍕

ofcofc! so, just to clear up any confusion, being proship JUST means being anti-harassment, and pro-ship and let ship. you don't gotta like what other people ship, you just gotta respect them enough to be able to block and move on.

i def agree, tags should be applied correctly, and mature content should be age restricted, but there's a limit to that imo. like, i wouldn't agree with sites making you show your ID or anything, due to the invasion of privacy, when a lot of the issue of kids being in spaces they shouldn't be could be solved by better parenting.

i also don't agree that certain kinds of fiction "normalize" rape or incest. fiction CAN influence reality, sure, but it's never gonna make you go from "incest bad" to "incest good" just from watching, like. game of thrones, ya know? there would 100% have to be a problem with the individual to begin with to even reach those kinda conclusions (and that's largely a problem with lack of parenting, education, or mental health resources)

my point is, if someone reads a yucky darkfic, and rape/murder/incest/whatever is depicted as good, it is still on you as the viewer as to how you react to it.

again, it's totally fine to think those kinds of fics/ships are disgusting! you're allowed to feel your feelings! but to assume that everyone who reads those fics has even the potential to be bad people just because they read those things is, like. objectively the wrong way to go about things

#/nm ofc - 🏁🎸

[averagemafuyukinnie]

2 years and over 40k posts and I'm only making a pinned post now

TALK TO ME!!! i love talking even if im awkward

also pls tag me in things

i can't fit everything in my bio so here we go

my names are kia, kyrie, neptune, and jack and i use he/it pronouns. friends can call me mafuyu (or yuki etc) as well. i have a pronouns page if you want more info

my dc is averagemafuyukinnie

I'm taken!! idm flirting jokingly just dont do it srsly. ill probably yap abt my gf a ton

I'm a minor so don't be weird please!!! adults can interact tho it's fine. again just don't be creepy

I'm from italy and i speak italian, english, some french, and I'm trying to learn spanish

i mainly post about project sekai, but I'm also in other fandoms such as:

in stars and time (I'm still on act 2 so no spoilers)

needy streamer overload

bocchi the rock

toilet bound hanako-kun (rereading the manga rn)

assassination classroom

doki doki literature club

pokemon (kinda)

sk8 the infinity

vocal synths (vocaloid, utau, etc)

alien stage

dandadan

and probably more i forgot

some of my all time fav characters/ships are:

saki tenma

kasane teto

mafuyu asahina

ena shinonome

miu takagi

leo/need

niigo

ryo yamada

kikuri hiroi

kangel/ame

siffrin

till

hyuna

momo ayase

harusaki

ruinene

mafuena

mizurui

shihomiu

ichikanahona

sakian

sakiena

ivantill

mizisua

probably more

bolded ones are hyperfixations/all time faves

i also draw sometimes!!! you can find my drawings in the #kyrie art tag

i run @sakitenma-everyday as well as a few rp blogs: @hinomori-shihofficial @junior-high-mizuki-official @werewolf-enanan @transfem-saki-official @miu-takagi-official @honahona-ln @sup3rn0v4-mmj @mafurs @poketrainer-yuki. I also have a few other blogs id like to keep separate from this one

if you need me to tag anything feel free to ask, i tag with "#tw [thing]". if i forget to tw anything feel free to remind me. I won't tag caps or swearing bc i use them a lot

for me, please tag emetophobia, graphic gore, graphic sh and animal death. ny catchall tag is '#neptune look away' but the normal tags are ok too

while i do my best to use tone tags when necessary, I'd prefer them being used as little as possible when talking to me (or just dont use them at all)

dni if you're lgbtq+ phobic in anyway (especially terfs fuck off), sh/ed blogs, pedos/zoos, zionists, pusu supporters, anti-endos, and if you think transandrophobia isn't real

do not drag me into any kind of discourse

[doginurbloodstream]

INTRO

i go by silas or bive (both r online only), it/its or he/him pronouns r fine. im also a minor so js keep that in mind 👍

DNI: pro/neu harmful paras, pro/dark/com/ect.shippers/if you ship real people, babyfurs/abdl, nsfw blogs, if you fetishize wlw/mlm relationships, kinnies/kff, feral nsfw

furry🫵

im a non/alterhuman, heres my types

dog therian (german shepherd, samoyed, border collie) - physical, psychological, & behavioral. im not completely sure, but they sorta feel like the same theriotype that js changes the way it presents. like i never feel like multiple of them at a time. (if anyone has a name for this please drop it 🙏)

kintype that idk what to call - psychological, behavioral, emotional & physical-ish. it feels wolfish & shadowy/smoky. ive only seen one other person with this kintype. i used to consider it a ghost, but im not sure anymore- this is what im talking abt if i say "im kinda a wolf"

reindeer therian - psychological & behavioral. idrk have anything to add onto it. i want hooves rly bad tho :(

white nosed coati(mundi) therian - psychological. this one doesnt feel very prominent, not sure how it got here since i had no idea what a coati was until i started researching.

bive (regretevator) ficitionkin - unknown origin, maybe multiverse related. i look a little bit diff from the canon- i have clawed hands/feet, as well as a tail.

silas (truesona) ockin - psychological. i may have been wrong abt this one- i am an anthro/feral blue dog tho. im in the process of redesigning him

cross fox otherlink - this was originally physical out of spite, but then i realized i actually do have physical identities. now i js wanna be a fox :p

tiger otherlink - prolly siberian idrk to decide tho-

red fox (natural morphs) animalhearted

river otter animalhearted

terrestrial isopod animalhearted

feline kin or hearted - im not sure which tho

fandoms im in (im not super active in most of em tho)

avatar the last airbender

arcane

deltarune

hells paradise/jigokuraku

regretevator

lackadaisy

dungeon meshi/delicious in dungeon

death note

sweet tooth

tags:

#silas posts - i tag all of my posts with this, it includes reblogs if i said smth that feels more like a post

#silas yaps - i tag this onto posts which dont really mean much i js feel like saying smth

#silas yaps alterhuman edition - my non/alterhuman posts

#silas yaps music edition - mainly lemon demon & tally hall, but i might also talk abt other music

#silas draws - my art

#silas yaps fictionkin specifically - fictionkin posts

i might add an aro/ace tag

song dump

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/751011464262860800?source=share

Seeing the numbers compared, I realized that you are right, anon. It's a privilege to be able to write long fics, regardless of them thinking they're unable to write short fics because short fics are mostly scenes so it's not that long fic writers are incapable of writing short stories, deep down, they don't want to. Maybe it feels wrong for them since they've made an impression they always write long fics, maybe they find short fics less impressive, or believe that people won't give the same feedback as when they post something longer.

But I would like to argue that longer doesn't mean it has a plot. I've read 80k words of a character getting tortured with no chance of figuring things out or getting out of that situation and ended quite the same as the start. I've read 25k fic of characters just hogging. These fics have no stakes, no crisis, no buildup, no development, nothing just series of the same scene over and over with different sets or different positions.

Fanfic is free and that is why you encounter things that are, in a way, out of the box and technically are not allowed in the publishing world. But that's the beauty of it. Is it really that big of a gap for people who can write long fics vs people who can only write short fics? Because of how free fanfiction is, most things are okay to do, including only being able to write plotless or short.

One reason why I get jealous of other authors who manage to write longer fics than me is because I was too busy at the time. I found a good system for myself (dedicating a certain time to finish a chapter and then uploading them as I edit and so on) and you can build your own. I think with the right system, anyone can do it.

Pantsers, plotters, and hybrids are equal to me and it's true because how do you know that a person didn't just recycle the same plot they use from their previous fics, thus being able to write different versions of that story? We've seen the viral meme abt fic writers recycling the same thing and a lot of people admit to doing it. Does this mean they're mediocre or bad writers? It's not like that's against the TOS or illegal. Nobody paid us to keep making fresh new ground-breaking stories. The quality of a fanfic is decided from how you treat it. Do you still like it even after five years? Do you think about it sometimes? Do you feel so ashamed you'd rather put it in an anon collection or close your acc completely and orphan it? Do you wish for it gone to the point you delete every trace of it?

It's not from the amount of kudos, hits, or comments, tho yes it is easier to find good ones if you filter by kudos but there are lots of underrated ones and I've DNF a lot of fics that are not to my liking but have high-kudos because people keep rec-ing it. I want underrated fics to be more popular but not because it needs to be popular but because I hope to be in a community with more like-minded people. Fanfic has no publisher, we can't earn from it so traffic is merely informative so it's the community that matters the most.

In fact, to tell you the truth, after 17 years of being in ao3, I've curated my tag very specifically and stopped using the fandom tag and went straight to the ship tag. I also mostly rely on bookmarks, private collections, word from mouth of people I trust or believe to have the same writing style and taste as me. So it was very niche and limited.

Lots of stories have plots but not all must be in your favor so you gotta figure what you like to start. Are you team canon divergence or AU? what trope do you like? Telling someone to stop comparing is ineffective. We always compare because that's how we communicate. But people feel inferior because they don't feel worthy of themselves. If you start to know what you want, it's easier for you to write more. Whether you're still stuck on making 1k-2k, etc, at least you don't waste your time feeling sad or down and you keep writing. That'll help stimulate your brain and you will improve.

(Also maybe just don't listen to authors who you think are humblebragging. Mute or block them if you need to because I know, to some people who are in the same fandom, these types of attitude have more context to it. Idk abt anon, but in some cases maybe they were moots or the account was owned by another fan they've encountered on tumblr or other social media often, a BNF maybe, or just a popular author that other fans praise or talk about often, and things could get personal. Shit can go south quickly in the community tbh)

--

There's definitely an art to condensing one's thoughts into only a few words.

[deadboystims]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🌱 ꒱ ) he / him ┊ billy , 17 ┊ autihd , gay , bpd ⚣

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🦀 ꒱ ) inbox : 3/5 - requests : CLOSED - divider

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🐛 ꒱ ) read rules & blacklist before requesting

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍁 ꒱ ) feel free to claim an anon sign off!

*rules & blacklist under cut ( keep reading ) divider : @kiyaedits

# @deadboybilly @deadboyrbs @ccozies

# do not interact : terfs , kink/nsfw , ddlg & variants , proship & anti-antis , proana/anti-recovery , loli/shotacon , dsmp fans , zoophiles , exclus , radqueer , maps/pedos , procontact harmful para .

also : scott cawthon supporters/defenders , msi fans/listeners/defenders , endo sys , “narc abuse” believer

warning : i support contradictory identities

# claimed anons :

🎁 anon

✨🐀 anon

🧟 anon

📼 anon

🎐 anon

🌈 anon

🔥 anon

💗🎤 anon

🐺 anon

🐇 sys

🌌🌼 anon

🐲🌟🏹 anon

🐜🔎 anon

💎 anon

🐝 anon

# request rules :

i’ll only take ship requests from fandoms i know/i’m in (check list below)

feel free to send in multiple requests but do it separately, do not do multiple requests in one ask, this makes it easier for me

be specific ! tell me what stims, colors you want, as well as anything u dont want ! i’m more likely to deny a request if u aren’t specific !

i have trouble reading typing quirks, if possible avoid using them / include a translation at least

search my page and see if i’ve done a board similar to what u want already! i’ll do requests if it has different/other specific stims for things i’ve already done tho!

my blacklist isn’t a moral judgement on all of these , some i just don’t wanna do

# long stimboard rules :

same as the above rules but,

i won’t do fandom requests

i’ll only take two at a time for my convenience

# blacklist :

dsmp - any & all members , qsmp

t0mmyinnit , jschl@tt , r@nboo , etc ( censored to avoid coming up in search )

south park , helluva boss , hazbin hotel , harry potter , the amazing digital circus

danganronpa , boyfriend to death , omori , fnf , the coffin of andy and leyley , ranfren

boyfriends ( webcomic ) , killing stalking , homestuck

hetalia , country humans

factkin , nsfw , proship , kpop

anything in my dni

# whitelist :

i’m very willing to do ( unproblematic ) niche media !!! don’t worry abt being too niche

anything in and out of my interest list, as long it isn’t in the blacklist

animals

boards based off of names

otherkin, fictkin + therian boards

objectum related boards (sfw only. obviously)

pride boards, like sexualities, genders + xenogenders, etc

plushies

character lgbtq headcanons, as long it doesn’t go against their canon (lgbtq) identity

oc boards

music/album stimboards (with specific stims to include)

aesthetics and -cores

i’m willing to do (sfw) agere boards but only for fandoms i know/non-fandom requests

# tags :

#stimboard - my stimboards

#request - requested stimboards

#not a stimboard - txt posts

#posted - replies to requests

#denied - request rejects or boards i need more info on

#my gifs - gifs i’ve made

#<3 - boards for my friends or boyfriend

#pride - lgbtqia+ related boards

#kin - kin related boards

#ship - ship related boards

#my favs <3 - favorite boards i’ve made

#sfw agere - agere boards

# trigger tags :

will not be censored (i.e. “bl00d” or “kn1fe”)

please filter out tags/content that trigger you

tags will be formatted as #cw (trigger) , but i will also provide a base tag as well

things i trigger tag : (fake) blood , bugs , knife , gun , snake , blade , scopophobia , flashing , fast moving gifs , horror , eyestrain , fake gore , weed , implied drug use

i do my best to tag everything with food with #food , sometimes i forget , sorry in advance

i am not responsible for your triggers if you refuse to use the filter features

while i do post agere content occasionally, this blog isn’t entirely safe for those who are regressed - be careful, filter out triggers

list of my interests !! (not in most fandoms, just things i like)

bolded & blue = current hyperfixations/fav to make

# special interests :

fnaf ,

marine biology ( sharks esp ) ,

scream ( movie franchise )

i have spin jealousy unfort so while i won’t block u pls don’t claim to like these more than me etc etc,,

# shows :

craig of the creek , adventure time , good omens , bee and puppycat , supernatural , gotham , moon knight , total drama , spongebob , gravity falls , bluey , amazing world of gumball , clarence , steven universe , smiling friends , live action one piece , mlp (fim) , fionna and cake , star vs the forces of evil , impractical jokers , ed edd n eddy , teen titans go

# games :

DDLC , roblox , minecraft , kirby , thats not my neighbor , papa louie games

# general :

horror media , bugbo , monster high , sonic , cats , clowns , lps , pusheen , laceygames , rob zombie , horror movies , plushies , nerdy prudes must die

# color(s + combos) i enjoy..

blue , red , green , pink , yellow + purple , blue + brown , blue + green , blue + orange , blue + white , orange + green , green + yellow , pink + green

# inbox :

x

x

x

x

x

# long stimboard requests :

x

x

[uriekukistan]

Fanfic Writer Interview

thank you @alonelystargazer for tagging me!

no pressure tags @earthtodora @sunnyyflowerrs @kentuckyfriedmegumi and @kat-likes-writing !!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

counting the ones i moved to "anonymous" i have 36 for 3 fandoms

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Family is Embarrassing

Dancing With a Stranger

summer lovin'

koi no yokan

honey and lavender

all itafushi. i write other fandoms/ships sometimes but yeah im mostly known for itafushi. if i can even call myself known.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

okay so i DO but im just really slow right now because of uni. like i have 100+ comments stacked up im so sorry guys. uni is kicking my ass. but usually i try to bc i like to let readers know that i appreciate the support <3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

....this is hard i have a few that are pretty bad. the one that hurts me the most is right where you left me (ghost au)....idk it's like sad and happy. they both sortaaa get what they need but also like they dont get to be together, and i think (hope) it was obvious from the start that a happy ending wasn't on the table for them

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

contrary to popular belief i write a lot of happy endings!!!!!! i want to say koi no yokan even though it's not out yet, not because it has the objectively happiest ending, but because the whole thing is so angsty and a lot of people have said they doubt that i'll actually give a happy ending. and i will! anyway, i'd say its the happiest because its like. relieving at the end. without giving too much away.

Do you write crossovers?

i don't think i'd write a crossover in the traditional sense where characters from two medias interact, but i've written au's where i put the characters from x show into the universe from y show. that's probably as close as i'll get to a crossover.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

four times...ngl i was a bit confused abt one bc it felt like they hadn't read the fic, one time they just hated the ship and took it out on the fic, and the other was recent......that once kinda upset me bc of the second ask they sent.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

uh. hm. i have. i'm very shy abt it so i would never post it in a way that'd tie back to me, and only a few ppl actually know abt the details.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i've seen.........but im also chronically offline these days

Have you ever had a fic translated?

also no, but i do frequently get comments in spanish which is cool

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

tbh i think it'd be fun, but i'm also so particular abt my process that i think it'd frustrate the other person. however....there would potentially be a few ppl i'd be interested in writing with. but once again, i'm shy

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

itafushi ofc. my number one forever, i don't think a singular ship has ever grabbed me by the throat like this before

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

sigh theres so many. i recently published a new fic and i'm like not even feeling motivated to write the next two chapters......i feel bad abt that bc i did already share it. this is why i need to write all if not most of the multichapter before i share it. most of the things i have rn are just ideas tho bc i havent had time to write much that's new

What are your writing strengths?

oh god......um i think i do a good job creating an emotional atmosphere and taking the reader inside the pov character's head

What are your writing weaknesses?

description for sure. i'm just not good with visual things, whether its art or descriptions in writing. i'm also not observant which doesn't help like i couldn't tell you anything about what's happening around me right now which is Not Good. either way it hinders my writing fs. also i think sometimes i struggle w pacing and characterization. and dialogue. um. honestly i think i have a lot of weaknesses, i'm not the fondest of my own writing unfortunately.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

hm. i think it has a place ig, but personally i would never do it, despite the fact that i'm trilingual and definitely have the capacity to.

also this is an unpopular opinion, and i think it comes from my time studying japanese in university, but when i see like "gojo-sensei," or "itadori-kun" type things, it does make me cringe a bit. like i know that is what they are saying but like if i did that in class it would be marked wrong so i've just been trained to read it as incorrect.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

ngl rn im only interested in writing for itafushi. i would like to write more for tokyo ghoul soon though

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

at this present moment.....right where you left me. there is also a budding au in my drive that i'm quite fond of but i'm waiting to share more details on that

[deepwinterstrawberry]

HAII im so sorry to bother i do not go here and we have not met but hello u seem very cool!!!

i'm a MASSIVE marianas trench fan and i saw ur recent post abt their songs inspiring u for Blorbo Scenarios thru tags n stuff and i gotta admit i am DYING to know which specific song(s) of theirs inspires the possessive hate sex blorbo thoughts. Definitely Not because i want to understand your wisdom and visions and thus Also imagine my blorbos engaging in possessive hate sex with said song(s) KLMSGKLMFGHLK /lh

SORRY I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY AN INSANE ASK TO RECEIVE DFKMGKLDFGSD so obviously there is no pressure to share if you don't want to :D i understand Blorbo Visions are sacred sometimes and that's so fair

thankies sm for ur time, tbh im just so happy to see another mtrench fan out in the wild, i feel like we're such a rare breed LOL

take care!! :D <3

!!!!!!!!! oh man you made my day I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THEIR SONGS AND THE CHARACTERSSSS

the blorbos i was thinking of are very obsessed with/ignore each other in turns, so the particular song i was thinking of for that post was Remember Me By ("i know i don't seem to cross your mind / i'll give you something to remember me by" like hmm... what will that something be.... so many options..).

the tune itself is so jaunty though, which i do find delightful but doesn't quite capture the ideal energy, so my #1 fave song for most of my violent and/or toxic ships is Desperate Measures. that whole song and all the lyrics is just !!!!RRRRGRHHGHHRRRHHGHGRHG gah words fail me but it goes hard.

hmmm also most parts of Haven (the track) work pretty good too. 🤔 and do not get me started on phantoms. you know what, maybe i need to relisten to their whole discography and do a deep dive into this topic..... /hj

fr thanks for the message!!!!!!!! i've been trying to make my friends into mt fans so i can yell about them but have only had moderate success. my spouse does like to listen to The Killing Kind on repeat sometimes tho lol

i'd love to hear if you have any songs that you're like This is SO The Character :D but no pressure!

[aphverse-confessions]

Confessions Masterpost (DRAFT)

Hello!! Please enjoy this carefully curated guide to navigating through these confessions!

First and foremost, if u are here because the confessions annoy you, please be sure to block both this account and the "aphverse confessions" tag just to be extra safe! All confessions include that tag.

I also want to let u guys know that there are a LOT of tags. Like I made this SO hard for myself to keep track of. Please know I try to hit every relevant tag from the list below, but I will 1000% miss a few or more of the relevant tags. The most consistent tags are going to be characters, ships, feels (angies, happies, or sillies), and media tags. Because I remember that all those exists.

Lastly, this is marked as draft because it is missing hyperlinks! I don't feel like grabbing those all rn, but want to post this (finally) so people know what tags mean.

Now, the tag navigations

General Post Content:

Tags that decribe content not under specific character/ship/series tags such as the length or the purpose

NSFW?! - Posts that contain sex, drugs, or other suggestive themes. The question mark is because usually the post is subtle and idk what I'm doing. If someone actually sends me an explicit confession I will probably explode (protip)

Long! - this tag is for any confessions with multiple paragraphs. Entirely up to op (me!) if smth fits my idea of long. We have fun here

Angies - this tag is for all those angry/vent/upset confessions over relatively trivial things

Fandom angies - lots of confessions address the fandom as a whole. This tag is for people complaining abt general issues with the fandom, a subtag of angies

Happies - this tag is for happy/wholesome confessions

Sillies - this tag is for fun and silly confessions

Headcanons - tag for headcanon confessions, I do not do individualized character headcanon tags because I already made myself tag general character, love character, and hate character individual and I do not want to ALSO hc tag characters

Shipfessions - Name borrowed from my sister blog @aphblr-shipfessions (not run by me, only similar premise, hence sister blog like sister location), this includes any tags related to ships

Mys shipfessions, mcd shipfessions, mid shipfessions, and coco shipfessions are the subtags for this (some posts are unclear for what universe and do not receive subtags)

Hate shipfessions is another subtag for this

Series:

Tags grouping confessions by the series they pertain to

Minecraft Diaries (and it's adjacent tags) - for all confessions related to minecraft diaries (VP included)

Mystreet (and it's adjacent tags) - for all confessions related to Mystreet (PDH included)

Phoenix Drop High (and it's adjacent tags) - for all posts related to Phoenix Drop High (FCU included)

My Inner Demons (and it's adjacent tags) - for all confessions related to my inner demons

Side Stories - for all confessions related to the original side stories

Side Quests - for all confessions related to spinoff series of aphmau featuring the mcd/mys cast (ie mermaid tales/royale tales)

That one fucking series - for all confessions related to that one fucking series (aka small quickly abandoned series by aph not related to mcd/mys)

Cocomau - for all confessions related to current Aphmau videos (post 2020)

Nonaphmau media - Many people have used this blog for reach in finding old fics/accs/comics/etc, or confessing to consuming some fucked up Aphmau related media. This tag is for them. This tag also includes references to specific tumblr blogs/users

Media finding - specifically tackles the former use of this

Character Tags:

I try not to maintag characters if any hate is included, so I have devised my own tagging system for characters for u littler haters wanting to scroll through ur least fav characters confessions. I know tumblr’s tagging is generally fucked tho and “[character] tag” may appear in the “[character]” tag. Please block “[character] hate” or “[character] love” for preference.

Also worth noting for convenience I have grouped all divine warriors under the same tag (Shad and Irene do have individuals) and have included the Jesson tag here in the character category.

If ur looking for mcd or mystreet specifically for a character, ur out of luck sorry I am not tagging that. Maybe harass me and I'll think abt it

A-Z (If alphabetized wrong, no it isn't)

-Op spells it LaurAnce and Sylvanna (correct me if double n is canonically incorrect) please notice this in both character and ship tags

-Nana is used to refer to the infamous "Kawaii~Chan" this includes ship names

Aaron Tag (hate or love)

Aphmau Tag (hate or love)

Blaze Tag (hate or love)

Brendan Tag (hate or love)

Dante Tag (hate or love)

Divine Warriors Tag (hate or love)

Donna Tag (hate or love)

Ein Tag (hate or love)

Elizabeth Tag (hate or love)

Emmalyn Tag (hate or love)

Eric Tag (hate or love)

Garroth Tag (hate or love)

Gene Tag (hate or love)

Irene Tag (hate or love)

Ivan Tag (hate or love)

Jesson Tag (hate or love)

Kai Tag (hate or love)

Kenmur Tag (hate or love)

Kiki Tag (hate or love)

Kim Tag (hate or love)

Liochant (hate or love)

Lo Tag (hate or love)

Melissa Tag (hate or love)

Modzilla Tag (hate or love)

Nana Tag (hate or love)

Laurance Tag (hate or love)

Logan Tag (hate or love)

Shad Tag (hate or love)

Sylvanna Tag (hate or love)

Teony Tag (hate or love)

Vylad Tag (hate or love)

Zane Tag (hate or love)

Zenix Tag (hate or love)

Zoey Tag (hate or love)

*character tag is used for ship posts but the love tag for that character is not usually used as the characters are not usually being discussed by themselves in those posts. Please know that to see ships with a character u will have to scroll through the general character tag. Please block the character hate tag if hate for ur favs bothers u (ships popular enough to have a name will be tagged as that ship)

**also not all characters have a hate/love tag, I just like consistency, please feel free to send hate/love to balance out my tagging system

Ship Tags:

The ships lucky enough to get the great honor of recognition by op (me!), for all ship related confessions please see shipfessions tag

A-Z

Aarmau tag (hate or love)

Dana tag (hate or love)

Garmau tag (hate or love)

Garrance tag (hate or love)

Laurmau tag (hate or love)

Vylenix tag (hate or love)

X Confessor tag (hate or love)

Zana tag (hate or love)

Zanvis tag (hate or love)

Miscellaneous Tags:

Op (me!) is feeling silly and making life harder for themselves

❤️‍🔥 - Tag for the Valentine's special, a bunch of ship/Valentine's related confessions

- Confessions op (me!) Thinks are important!!

🤭 - Confessions op (me!) Left some silly little tags on

😳 - Confessions sent off anon!

My confessions - Original posts from op (me!)

🩷 - Posts about op (me!)

😵‍💫 - The old Aarmau countdown posts! An era may she rest in peace

*emojis picked based off op's (me!) commonly used emojis because I don't want random emojis in my frequent list

Op (me!) Is only one person. I will tag things wrong. Please politely leave an ask or comment if smth is missing a tag or has an incorrect tag.

This is a lot also like Jesus there is no way u read that entire thing! But I had to write it and then retroactively add ALL of those tags to posts I had already made! So please be nice to op (me!), I love u guys and am doing my best!

[midnightmayhem13]

You're all i wanted

a/n this idea has been in my head for a while nd i'm tryna fill up the nebula x reader tag🩶 love my tall emo girl so here's some angst

summary: love wasn't ever easy. especially when nebulas embarrassed of her love for you and treats you like shit on the bottom of her shoe

nebula x reader; mean nebula, also mean guardians gamora x nebula, gamora x reader (platonic) angsty with a happy ending; just nebula with her soft girl

nebula had caught your eye ever since you two met. having to take nebula in for gamoras sake, you couldn't help but fall in love? you didn't understand, well you did i mean she was beautiful even with all her parts, her eyes captivated you, the way she didn't let people tell her what to do or ever let herself be scared of something. you fell in love from afar bc she wouldn't let you close anyways.

little did you know, nebula had taken a liking to you. now that was something she didn't understand. why you? and why did she like you? she treated you as if you didn't exist and you still made efforts to try to be close to her. you had defended her and all she did was yell at you and tell you to leave her alone. she shouldn't like you she thought. she sure didn't try to act like it. someone as beautiful as you didn't deserve to be with her. being mean to quill or drax or rocket was easy, it's the only way she ever treated them. but seeing you get teary eyed or hearing your voice crack when she raised her voice at you hurt her more than she cared to admit. and she liked seeing people get hurt. why did she get angry when rocket made a mean comment and made you cry? or why did it anger her when you got hurt fighting a goon?

nebula had you under her gaze all day everyday, her sister took note of this. gamora found it odd bc you couldn't seem like a threat even if you tried. the thought came to her head but she ignored it. nebula didn't like you like that right? right?

it was obvious to everyone that you had heart eyes for nebula. you wouldn't tolerate the way she treated you if you didn't. you didn't plan on telling her, never in a million years would your feelings be reciprocated.

it all started going downhill one night. the whole team, even nebula. was sitting together having drinks and laughing.

"HA quill remember when mantis exposed your sexual feelings for gamora" drax cackled making rocket and mantis crack up at the memory. gamora just rolled her eyes leaned into quill

"alright guys cmon let's not talk abt that. y/n would be in a deeper hole if mantis did the same. she has the fatest crush on blue girl over here" quill said proudly. your world went dark. no no no no. not this way. everyone was laughing except gamora and nebula who now looked like she had a disgusted look on her face. you felt tears well up in your eyes. this is so humiliating.

all you wanted to do was run. so you did. you got up from your spot and locked yourself in your room. the men's laughs only grew louder as you ran away. gamora sending you a sympathetic look as you turned to see if they were watching you as well.

you sobbed and sobbed. the smallest chance of becoming close to nebula was just crushed. you didn't leave your room from two days. finally deciding you had to face your fears you went out.

the boys continued to laugh but it wasn't as funny as two days ago. but when you tried to approach nebula, she told you to get away from her and left. this continued for days as she avoided you and constantly made you know she didn't want anything to do with you.

it's not that she thought she was superior to you. bc god she was in love you with. she didn't know what that was tho.

after about a week of being avoided and treated like shit by nebula you decided to give up. you wouldnt bother or burden her anymore.

one day in the late evening you went to look for something you had left out. when you ran into all the guardians on the ship. gamora organizing some files and cleaning, the guys talking, mantis and groot making an attempt at knitting, and ofc course nebula working on something on her arm.

you took a deep breath and went out to look for whatever you were looking for.

"hey lover girl" rocket teased. not again. drax and quill caught on and had smug looks on their faces, ready to make you regret ever leaving your room.

"i would shoot myself if i were nebula, have you seen yourself?" drax snickered letting out a belly laugh. guess they felt like being dickheads to you again. the all laughed and pointed. looking as if just looking at you made them almost pee their pants

you would do the same in this moment.

nebula just watched. wanting to laugh but knowing deeply she wanted to shoot all the men in the head for hurting your feelings. she knew how much words hurt your feelings, reasoned it for calling you weak various times.

your sure you were already crying but you didn't notice. all you wanted to do was get out of there but they had blocked your path. making you start to shake. you couldn't stand up for yourself because your voice was caught in your throat.

peter caught his breath as if preparing himself to say something. you too had prepared yourself for whatever he was about to say.

"of course nebula doesn't like you idiot! you're uglier than rocket!" peter barley managed to get out.

that one stung your heart more than anything could. you didn't think rocket was ugly, but knowing it was obvious to everyone that you had no chance because you weren't attractive was what hurt.

"hey!" rocket said sounded angered, it soon turned into a deep laughter "thats... that's a good one" he nearly yelled not being able to hold back throwing his head back in amusement.

you didn't care about crying in front of them anymore, you just wanted to leave.

just as you had made your way out covering your face with your hands, someone pushed you harshly. and lucky you, you fell straight into nebulas arms who had just gotten up to leave

"UGHHH, get off of me!" nebula yelled pushing you away from her harshly. you nearly fell ass first on the floor. as soon as you regained your composition. you were completely sobbing. breathing heavily and trembling.

"im sorry" was all you said as you past nebula. you couldn't even get we it out without your voice cracking and your breath picking up pace. she saw you disappear into the shadows and heard your door close.

why did i do that? was all nebula thought, all she wanted to do was hold you and comfort you, even tho she didn't know how, she wanted to prove to the imbeciles wrong. instead of saying anything she just left

"what the hell is wrong with you?!" gamora yelled slapping peters arm and rushing to your room. your door wasn't locked bc all you wanted to do was curl up and die. "y/n..." was all she said. she held you and let you cry on her until you fell asleep. nebula had told her everything she felt about you. why wouldn't she let it show. you were the sweetest girl in the galaxy. you just wanted to love nebula.

after leaving your room she went to find her sister. she found her in her small room doing some work on a new weapon she recently found. "what was that nebula?" she asked fiercely. "i don't know, get out" gamora inhaled aggressively "are you kidding me?! y/ns the sweetest girl in the galaxy. all she wanted was you, nebula. you couldn't even defend her. and did you have to shove her? cmon nebula, i know we both never knew what love was but the least you could do is not treat her like shit! y/n would kill to be as close to you as i am right now" with that gamora left. leaving nebula staring into nothing, feeling as if she got stabbed in the heart.

this time, you didn't step out of your room. you didn't eat or leave the room other than to use the restroom. you cried day and night just holding yourself and cursing yourself for every catching feelings for her. and even after all of this. she was all you wanted.

nebula found herself think of you often. really often. the ship had been even less enjoyable without your constant efforts to try to talk to her or your beautiful smile when all she did was glare at you.

nebula stood outside your door. listening to your sobs knowing she caused this. knowing she couldve stopped it. she wanted to knock, to talk to you, to hold you. to love you.

she found herself in this position a lot. standing outside your door wanting to knock or see you walk out. she just wanted to see you. she regretted ever purposely hurting your feelings.

gamora eventually saw nebula doing this in her routine. encouraging her to talk to you. nebula just shook her head and walked away.

about three weeks later she was tired of waiting. wanting two just burst in and tell you everything. until one day, while she was staring at your door, you opened it. and for the first time in what felt like forever. she saw your gorgeous face. although there wasn't the light of happiness that there usually was. there was just, emptiness, puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks.

"i'm-i'm sorry i didn't know you were passing. i'll j-just go" you rambled going to close the doors before you cried at the sight of her face.

she slammed her hand on the door not letting you close it "wait. please." she said almost sounding desperate. with a deep breath, you let her in.

you two sat on your bed, an awkward amount of space away between. you fiddled with your fingers, quickly wiping away tears with the sleeve of your hoodie. nebula watched you. a small smirk on her face from finally being able to see you. she knew she had to make things right, right now.

she stiffly scooted closer to you. she heard your breath hitch and saw your cheeks get red. maybe there was still hope.

you two were shoulder to shoulder. facing the big window of your room. you always had the best view of the galaxy. she looked over at you and softly smiled when she saw you quickly looked away flustered

breaking the silence, she huskily said"i always thought you were the most beautiful girl in the galaxy." "wha?" you questioned softly the air having left your lungs from her sweet words.

you two were staring at eachother now. shoulder to shoulder. your eyes never looked so beautiful. and you had never seen how pretty her blue hue was.

she roughly grabbed your hand but held it gently. you were sure she could hear your heart beat. "please stop hurting me, it's not funny" was all you said. whispering it as you were on the brink of tears

nebulas heart shattered realizing you thought she was playing a cruel joke on you. god how she loved you, but how could she come about it.

she squeezed your hand three times. gently grabbed your chin to look into your sad eyes. she wiped a tear from your cheek. she didn't know what to do. so she just acted on impulse. she kissed you. softly, sweetly, briefly. when she pulled away your eyes were still shut and your cheeks were pink. you were so beautiful to her.

"im sorry, i never meant to hurt you. i didn't know what to do." nebula admitted shyly. you had stared with so much love in your eyes after everything she had put you through "it's okay" was all you said, your chin still in her hand, gazing at her. "no it's not. don't say it is because it's not. i will make it up to you." nebula stated firmly. posture stiffening as she squeezed your hand as if she was trying to pop it. you giggled and smiled. "you're all i ever wanted" you whispered touching your forehead against hers.

i love you, im sorry

was all nebula wanted to say and all you wanted to hear, but in never came out. but you were okay with it, as long as she was here now

and everything seemed right after that. you in nebulas arms was all you ever wanted. and now you had it.

a/n that was long i'm sorry😭 it had been in my head for the longest time and writing it felt so good lmao hope you guys enjoyed🩶

[genericdragon]

Hello! Since my art and designs seem to be getting more attention recently(??????) and stuff like this has come up a few times, I thought I'd lay down some ground rules about my art and characters.

Art Rules:

Generally if you want to use my art anywhere PLEASE ASK ME FIRST!!! I'll most likely say yes I just want to know about it. If you're reposting it on a different platform or sharing it on Discord or whatever I'd also appreciate if you could tell me what other people are saying about it or send me a link to the post. Also free to use as pfps or whatever as long as you ask first. and unless I say otherwise (there are some things I don't want my name attached to yknow) ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO CREDIT ME!!! ("genericdragon on Tumblr" will suffice). If it's art that I made specifically for you you're free to use it anywhere without asking just remember to credit me.

Please don't edit my art in any way, shape, or form, aside from maybe cutting out the background or whatever. (including drawing on top of it, changing colors, etc)

You're allowed to trace/heavily reference my art for practice (don't know why you'd want to tho) but DO NOT POST IT ANYWHERE OR USE IT FOR ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE.

Unless we're very close friends/mutuals do not expect free art from me. You can commission me on artistree or follow me on artfight (<- you are VERY likely to get free art this way.) I might do requests but only if it's something that I'd want to draw even if no one requested it. (no fetish baiting. I know it when I see it.)

Character rules:

If you want to use my exact humanization as your headcanon for that character or use them in your AU then be my guest! Again, just make sure to credit me for the design, and please tag me in anything you do with them :)

That being said, there are a few story related things that I'm not comfortable sharing with other AUs, but it's usually stuff that I don't post on Tumblr so you probably don't know abt it anyway. Just ask me if you're unsure. However I will also ask that you don't create an entirely new backstory for them if you're putting them in your own AU.

I can't stop you from taking inspiration from my designs but please don't just change a few things from my design and call it your own. They're not technically my original characters but I am still very attached to my humanizations and I'm not comfortable with them being modified like that. I'm glad that ppl like my designs but I don't want them to run too far away from me until they're not mine anymore yknow?

You are always always ALWAYS welcome to draw my character designs, especially when interacting with your own or other people's :) Tag me in any art you make of them!! I want to see it!!!

I made another post about it but self-shipping is allowed (as long as it's not a teenager who's way younger than you) just make sure to abide by the rest of these rules.

Also drawing nsfw of my 18+ characters is fine. (Unless I explicitly say they're a teenager or they are known to be a teenager in canon you can assume they're an adult) You can show me or not idc. Just don't send it to me without warning I don't wanna be jumpscared

Other Stuff:

I do not control the hyperfixation. If you followed me for one specific fandom/character that I don't post about often I can't guarantee that you'll see any more of it. Portal is the one thing you can ALWAYS expect me to come back to but the other stuff just comes and goes. Not saying that I'll NEVER come back to it again just don't hold your breath. Feel free to unfollow or block any tags you're not interested in, I don't take any offense to it.

Please do not reblog any art older than like... 3 or 4 years. I'll leave it up for now but if you reblog it I WILL delete it, sorry.

Continuing from that point, this is my blog and I will delete things as I see fit. Please do not download and repost my art if I delete it. If it's gone then I don't want it to be public anymore, please respect my wishes.

I won't throw a hissy fit if you like art but don't reblog it, I totally get that some things just aren't for everyone, but reblogging really does help a lot and I appreciate it :)

Please don't feel intimidated by me! Apparently some people think of me as a Big Scary Popular Artist and I have no idea where that impression came from but I'm not. I'm just a weirdo girl making my silly little drawings. Also PLEASE don't say anything to the effect of "your art is so good it makes me feel bad" or using my art to put yourself down. I have Kind Of Complicated feelings about my art so when people do this it really messes me up. Just don't, it makes both of us feel so much worse.

Asks are always welcome, although I do try to draw art in response to asks but sometimes I just don't get around to it, or it's for a fandom I'm not currently interested in. (Sorry to that one person who sent me an INSIDE related ask that's just been sitting in my inbox for several months)

I do have an nsfw blog, you can dm me for the url, although I may choose to withhold it from you for any reason. (I'm shy 👉👈)

Other than that just uhhhhh be reasonable treat me like a person respect my boundaries etc. I'll update this if needed but this is the most important stuff for now I think

[gojocon]

insta guidelines

↳ 18+ [n]sfw dc jjk writing + selfship + personal blog. minors / antis / blank / ageless blogs dni [if i catch you, i’ll block you.] don’t spam like [reposts are more supportive and don’t get me shadowbanned.] any hate towards any religion, minorities, sexual orientation, and so on, will have you blocked on sight. zionists and trump supporters, i’m frying your ass. 🔥

↳ interactions [likes and follows] come from @naomi-main.

↳ this blog is selfship and dark content friendly! i age up characters and engage w/ dark content and gross, unhinged themes [you have been warned, don’t come crying to my inbox.] everything is tagged accordingly, if you’re uncomfy, block the tw’s or block me. learn to separate fiction from reality. i am not what i write.

↳ open to any topics or themes in writing excluding scat, pedophilia, underage, beastiality, loli/shota, racism, self-harm, vore, tentacles [i love my fellow aliens tho], and abuse.

↳ satoru gojo is the star of this instargram themed blog, so posts are usually gojo-centric w/ an occasional small post for other characters + brainrotted spam typically written w/ a big age gap consisting of young adult female reader and older gojo in mind, but not always. i only write afab reader who uses she/her pronouns.

↳ inbox is open for anything excluding requests cause i feel like i’m being forced to write it and my motivation tanks [sowwy 😓.] i’m a slow writer, so don’t expect me to push out fics even though i said i would [i am a procrastinator and lose my flow easily.] however, i will spam my random thoughts cause my mind is always brewing something. i’m also not able to get to asks and such right away, so bare with me pls. keep in mind, i post a lot [varies though] so expect a bunch of spam in your dash.

↳ i say i’m not going to entertain hate asks, but i do anyway cause i like clocking a mf. do not send an ask to another writer about an idea from my posts [i notice, and you’re not as slick as you think you are. it’s extremely disrespectful and demeaning when you can just shoot an ask my way to hear more about my thoughts.]

↳ content is organized using the following tags (feel free to block any):

ᦏ᪔ navi - navigation tag

— naomi prattles - yaps abt anything

ఌ︎ — naomi writes - work tag

ᝰ — naomi draws - art tag

satoru <3 - all about gojo (my stuff)

​˗ˏˋ satocore ! ´ˎ˗ - satoru core posts (reblogs that apply)

[character name] ^ྀི - other jjk character content (rare + usually involves gojo)

satomi𑁤 - selfship tag

​[​ ฅ ] — pawships : - moots self ships

౨ৎ [ship name] - jjk ships (ex… gojohime, nanago, tba)

— [ dm’s ] - answering asks

ᥫ᭡ moots - asks from moots

likes! ᢉ𐭩 - fic/drabble/short thought reblogs abt gojo

⌞◉⌝ — gojography - art + gif reblogs

tw [warning] - warning tag (ex... discourse, alcohol, yandere, cannibalism, religion, pregnancy, baby trapping, food, children, infertility, cheating, stepcest, incest, feet, piss, periods, vomit, noncon, cnc, somno, tba…)

satories : [name] - series tag (ex… tba)