#but i feel like law would be your person in one piece fr

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

i know allie will probably never have interest in watching one piece but tagging her in this because i feel like if she ever gave one piece a chance, i think she'd fall head over heels for law??

@cafedanslanuit you have to see him to understand my vision

yes i'm assigning a self ship to someone who has never seen the show/read the manga but allie i just feel like he'd be your type. you'd be the sacred lady of the heart pirates

i see him being very soft for you, you'd like his aesthetic etc etc

he's a doctor, he's literally so smart but then if his competitive side is triggered he will do the dumbest shit imaginable like sending his ship off a cliff because someone else told him he was being a bitch for taking a safe route

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Mosaic

kaeya/gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, teensy angst, fluff

warning(s)!!!: hydro-vision/polearm-user reader (bc i said so), kaeya word vomits all over the place, kaeya also becomes self-aware of feelings and Dislikes that, kaeya also makes some poor choices in leu of those feelings, all is well in the end tho! he learns (and cries) (tayls is pushing the pathetic crybaby kaeya agenda and cannot be stopped)

w.count: 8.7k

synopsis: kaeya is none the wiser to the people around him and what it is they think about him- he didn't get his title of 'top candidate for grandson in law' for nothing. however, he never thought he'd get so swept up in his own feelings that when he does, he decides he has to put a stop to them no matter the cost. but can he really follow through with that?

a/n: i love when tumblr nerfs my banner quality but it's whatever. have some kaeya nonsense (fr take this away from me)

“A mosaic.” 

That was your answer to a question Paimon and the Traveler asks while you were meandering around the Favonius Library looking for a book you needed for some personal research. They had run into you there and a conversation about what some citizens of the City of Freedom embody had sprung up somehow. For example, Paimon was very set on saying that Master Diluc was a rock- set in his ways and tough to budge- and so on from there.  The ideas and objects tossed around were anywhere between insightful and downright silly. 

So, it was inevitable that eventually the trio would cycle around to the Knights. Jean was dubbed a Dandelion according to the Traveler and Lisa was crowned as an elegant bookmark that was so sharp it would cause terrible papercuts. Of course, Lisa’s object was picked ever so gracefully by Paimon even if it didn’t make much sense she was set on her answer, and nothing would change her mind. Then, when the personification of one Kaeya Alberich came around, admittingly the two Outlanders were stumped.  

Kaeya would always peruse around with such an air of mystery. Keeping important aspects of himself tucked so far away that very few people knew of his secrets- and they were tight lipped for their own reasons.  His smooth tongue aided him greatly whenever someone would ask about himself personally- spinning tales and weaving verses that got him out of any sort of personal interrogation. 

The trio knew if they asked Diluc, he’d give a short and possibly crude answer.  Jean would probably give him some illusion of not being sorted into such games and Lisa would just think you three were adorable and not give her two cents at all. You, however, thought on it for a bit longer and finally had an answer. 

“A mosaic?” Paimon mimicked, making sure her voice was kept down in the sanctuary of books. “Like the artwork?” 

“He is good looking,” Traveler pitched and it was true. Even people with aged or poor working eyes could see Kaeya was far from being an ugly man. 

“I don't see how him being a little ‘good looking’ is deserving of the title of being a piece art!” You chuckle at Paimon’s small fit of confusion. 

“Well, ignoring his looks, a mosaic is a piece of work that is made of small pieces right? It isn’t whole until it’s all put together. Just like a puzzle.” 

“So, he’s a glorified puzzle?” 

“That isn’t what I meant,” you shake your head in a small chuckle. You take a small trip to another corner of the library and run your fingers along the spines of different books before you grab one and easily slide it out of its spot on the shelf.

It’s a book on different types of art. Flipping the pages you find a page with a drawn on copy of a mosaic from another country. You lay it down on a nearby table and tap the drawing with your fingertip. 

“What I meant was the process of becoming a mosaic- how it’s created.” you trace the empty spaces of white on the page where the piece of the drawn on piece were supposed to connect to create a bigger piece. “Various pieces of work all put together to make one big picture. A series of events leading to a grand conclusion of hardwork and patience. Maybe it took a lot of time and work. Sometimes creating such a piece was so frustrating at times you wanted to give up, or maybe sometimes nothing looked right. But, by the end of it all- it couldn’t be anything but a wonderful representation of all those struggles.” 

Paimon floated in awe at your explanation and the Travelers playfully placed their hands on their hips as they looked at you. 

“You sure think highly of Kaeya, don’t you?” 

“It’s that noticeable, huh?” You chuckle a tad embarrassed. Your long-standing puppy-crush on Kaeya you’ve had since you met him wasn’t always the best hidden secret. In fact, you were almost positive that the Cavalry Captain himself knew you had a thing for him, but you were happy he never cornered you about it. 

“You’re a love-struck citizen alright,” Paimon rushed to the Traveler’s side in making slight jests at you. You shut the book you had used to try and explain your choice of object and rubbed the back of your neck as you ignore the warmth in your face. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” You turn on your heel and walk back to the shelf to replace the book. Paimon had cupped a small hand around her chin before she was floating over to your side and asking you another question. 

“So, if Kaeya is a mosaic, then who’s his artist?” You look at her and blink a few times, processing what she was asking. You didn’t expect a question like that.  You cup your own chin in thought and after a moment, you laugh at being caught off guard.  

“I hadn’t thought of that.  I guess maybe Mondstadt itself? It is where all his friends and family are after all. Oh, and his job of course.” 

“That makes sense,” Paimon muses, seemingly satisfied with your answer. The conversation had moved from the shelves to the open space of the library and soon out the doors. As the three of you left, the topic of objects to people shifted to one of getting some food into Paimon’s ever empty stomach. 

The book you had previously replaced back on the shelf was easily slid back out by a hand adorning open finger gloves. Taking a relaxed seat at a nearby table, he flipped to the very page you had been on before and looked at the image himself with a small huff that twisted into a quirk of his lips. 

“How interesting,” he muses before reading the whole installment about that specific piece of art. After all, how could he not? 

The next morning was quick to roll around. After a hearty meal at the Good Hunter and pleasant good nights exchanged with the Traveler and Paimon, you were more than ready to head back home to rest. After a swift debrief on the commissions set aside for you today, you move out of the way and off to the side so you could flip through the four pages of individual commission information. 

A typical site clearing of hilicurls, a balloon transport, and two other sites said to be infested with abyss mages and mitacurls. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in the form of a heavy sigh, you roll your neck and shoulders. It looked to be a very physical day, considering the commissions alone were already enough, they were hardly close in range to each other.  

“My, what does this sunny morning lack that is making your shoulder’s slack so much,” the familiar voice of the ever lingering person on your mind spoke. Lowering your commissions and offering him a greeting smile, you watch as Kaeya marches his way down the stone steps of Mondstadt to you. 

“The weather has nothing to do with it, I'll have you know.” When he finally gets to your sides, he silently offers his hand out for your daily commission sheets. You hand them over and resume your small effort of stretching. His eyes quickly scan sheet after sheet before he’s clicking his teeth and shaking his head.  

“Having your run all the way to Stormbearer, to Windrise, down to Springvale and then back up to Wolvendom is just cruel.” The way his voice has that familiar lithe to it, you knew he only half meant what he said. 

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and run into the Traveler who can do me a favor by hitching me a ride on a Waypoint.” You quickly take your commissions back and fold them down twice before storing them away in your pack. Watching the sun’s orange morning hue fade into its daylight yellow was tell enough that you had to get moving or else you’d be rushing to get your work done. Kaeya walked you to the city gate and even across the bridge before you were ready to set off.  

This is practically routine. You weren’t sure when it started, but at some point, Kaeya had started meeting you at the Adventurer’s Guild after receiving your daily commissions and would insist on escorting you out of the city. He claimed it was on the way of his morning walk to stretch his legs, but you weren’t sure how much you believed him. You allowed him to do it anyway since it always set up a good start to your day. 

Getting a small amount of Kaeya’s time was something you would relish since you never wanted to impede on his busy schedule with the Knights. It was the small selfish part of you that wanted to capitalize on this so-called ‘alone’ time that lasted only a small piece of the day. 

“Be careful,” Kaeya always tell you and you always nod back to him a simple ‘I will’ before he would watch you disappear down the worn, dirt paths. Your first destination would be Stormbearer Mountain it appears. 

Most of Kaeya’s morning consisted of going over documents shoved on him courtesy of his position as one of the ten Captains within the knight’s ranks.  With sighs echoing in his private workspace every few minutes and multiple tempting ideas of sneaking out without even processing the paperwork, he finally finished and approved the last document before placing it in a file on his desk that Jean would surely come and snag from him later. 

Leaning back in his chair that would soon need the cushions replaced, he craned his neck to gaze out the tall window in his office.  The sun was much higher in the sky than it was when he had arrived earlier that morning.  His thoughts easily drifted to you and a frown found its way onto his lips. 

“Are you doing alright?” Kaeya delicately asked to the air of solitude around him.  You were more than capable to handle yourself.  In truth, if you weren’t already associated with the Guild and kept so busy by them, Jean probably would’ve scouted you for the Knights instead.  ‘Your skills are impressive, and the others could learn a lot from you’, that’s probably what Jean’s pitch would be. All true of course, sometimes the job of trying to train the lower ranking knights was more of a chore than a duty, once Kaeya would often get stuck with.

He'd be more than happy to spar with you instead any day.  

Steering his gaze away from the window and moving it towards the ceiling, he traced the wooden beams above him with his single visible eye. He sighed again- this time not because of his now finished paperwork. 

“Surely, they’d be in Windrise by now… right?” His fingers drummed against the arm of his chair before he was bringing his chin back down to lock onto his office door.  His paperwork was done, so maybe…

Two knocks rapped against the thick door and Kaeya’s posture straightened out of habit. A muffled ‘Captain?’ heard behind it.  He let his head sink as a small, defeated breath left his open mouth before correcting himself again. 

“You can come in,” he answered.  Guess his plans to sneak away were once again foiled. 

By the time Kaeya made it out of HQ it was already late into the afternoon.  Stretching after stepping foot out of the large entrance, he stepped down the short set of stone steps before making his way towards the front of the city.  You must be back now, or close to the city at the very least.  It had been almost the whole day, if you weren’t back yet he’d simply go on an unprompted adventure to ‘bump into you’. Luckily, there you were; standing in front of the Guild and talking to Katheryne once again. Although, the look of you was less than encouraging. 

While you yourself seemed more or less fine, just from the distance between the top set of steps by Good Hunter to you at the Adventurer's Guild Reception, he could tell your commissions had worn you out today. It was no wonder considering the distance between them. Your clothes had clearly been fixed prior to you reentering the city since the dirt and stains on them were a clear indicator that you had your fair share of roughing up. 

Kaeya can, and did mostly, dismiss this all, however.  It was the serious look on Katheryne’s face and the way yours didn't show relief after a hard day's work like it normally would be. He started making his way towards you and started catching bits of the conversion you both were having. 

“I deeply apologize, y/n, but it’s an Emergency Commission we just received.” The way Katheryne’s voice was coated in tension made Kaeya’s pace harden. When he had arrived at your side, his hand came up to rest on your back without his notice as he looked at the way you held your head in your hand like you were preventing an oncoming headache. 

“What’s the problem?” Kaeya made it a point to look at you- directing the question at you and not Katheryne. Your hand dropped and you sighed with a shake of your head before looking at him. 

“It’s nothing, just a last-minute Commission.”

“What? You just got back from your commissions, didn’t you?” 

“It’s an Emergency. I can’t just brush it off.” 

“Make someone else take it then.” 

“No one else is available.” 

“y/n.” 

“Kaeya.” 

The small verbal battle you both engaged in was empty and Kaeya knew he was playing a losing game. He let out a sigh before he finally turned to look at Katheryne who must have all the patience in the world for standing by and letting you both bicker until she was needed for something. 

“What is the commission exactly?” 

“Apparently, a Ruin Guard has been spotted near Springvale after a passing Adventurer accidentally triggered its detection sensors. The nearby residents are frightened it could march into someone’s territory and wreak havoc there.” 

Kaeya pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand- the other still mindlessly resting on your back- as he sighed.  This is indeed something that couldn’t be pushed off for someone else to take. When it comes to those old machines, who knows what could happen if they aren’t swiftly deactivated. The Captain was at an impasse; letting you go after already being exhausted from running around all day or tying you to one of the Guild’s posts and keeping you there until someone else passed by that Katheryne could snag instead. 

“Fine,” Kaeya relented.  His hand finally dropped from your back and crossed with his other arm over his chest. “I shall accompany you then.” He saw you open your mouth- probably to protest- but he didn’t let you. “Ah-ah,” he tutted at you, “no arguments. Let’s get moving.” He uncrosses his arms to grab your shoulders, spin you around and lightly push you to get your legs moving. 

Luckily, Kaeya’s vision was extra compatible with your own. While your fight styles were different, the fact you had a hydro vision was very much a blessing. It was quiet easy work taking down a Ruin Guard that had been drenched in water then subsequently frozen. After picking up a few dropped items from the timeless machine, Kaeya had stood up and placed his hands on his hips as if proud of himself. 

“Aren’t you happy I decided to tag along now? We made quick work of that Ruin Guard.” 

You can only roll your eyes at the smoothtalker.  Still, you quietly laugh at his antics all the same. Finally calling it a day in the middle of the field you had previously battled in with him, you lay down on the grass.  You were already covered in sweat, dirt and other stains from your earlier commissions, so getting a little more on your clothes wasn’t a concern. You shut your eyes and took in the breeze you silently thanked Lord Barbatos for as you took in a deep breath, letting yourself decompress. 

Kaeya stood over you, moving so his boots were on either side of your head and he was looking down at your relaxing face.  With your eyes closed, you didn’t get to see the smile that was only ever present when you weren’t looking.  The moment your eyes would open, you would only see his normal everyday grin. And open your eye did and oh how lovely they were. The evening glow did wonders for their color. 

Evening. Yes, it is getting rather late now. 

“Are you ready to head back now?” He asked and you nod. Sitting up, Kaeya offers to carry you back to the city on his back- which you decline. That didn’t stop the fact that you reentered Mondstadt securely resting on Kaeya’s back as he held you up with a slight bend to his posture and firm grip on your legs. 

This routine would continue for as long as Kaeya’s luck would allow.  He’d be the first to see you in the mornings before being the one to walk you out of the city and if he was lucky, he’d be the first to greet you back (not including Katheryn). 

If Kaeya was lucky he would greet you back into the city and spend more time at your side.  Reporting in with you to the Guild. Running a few errands like stopping by to purchase things from Blanche or getting your polearm enhanced or repaired at the smith. 

If Kaeya was lucky, he would persuade you into getting dinner with him or dropping by the Cat’s Tail for some casual TCG matches when he was off duty. 

If Kaeya was lucky, the conversation between you both would be flowing well enough that even if there was nothing left to do, he’d be privileged enough to walk you home or come inside to continue occupying your time until you fall asleep or push him out the door saying that he had to get up for work in the morning. 

Today was not Kaeya’s lucky day.  When he got up this morning, his routine to finding you was practically ingrained in his muscles and when he didn’t see you at the stone steps, city gates or the Guild’s reception, confusion crossed his brows.  He casually took a seat on one of the nearby outside stools by the Cat’s Tail and waited until the time to clock in at HQ was growing closer.  With hesitation, he got up and looked around for you once more just to see if maybe he could at least catch a glimpse of you rushing around to get a (rather late) start to the day. 

He was antsy all day and he was astonished to find out that throwing a wrench in his morning threw off his day so much. Kaeya knew that seeing you first thing in the morning was quite a lovely way to start his day, but he didn’t know the extent in which it could affect the rest of it.  Not exchanging a good morning with you or even saying his usual ‘be safe’ message at the edge of Mondstadt nagged at him.  

Currently, he was sitting in a remote corner of the Favonious library, legs crossed as his rear was sat towards the front of the seat to make up for the fact his back was bent over the back of it.  He rests a flimsy, paperback book over his face, the pages scent of old paper and ink invaded his nose and the feeling of them rubbed against his cheeks. One of his hands held it open with his thumb and pinky and the other arm was hanging uselessly at his side, his wrist bouncing against his vision from time to time just for something to interact with. 

Underneath the book, his eye was closed.  He had tried reading the passages in this particular book at least four times now, but the words just weren’t registering in his mind, so he had given up. He was left listless; certain he could easily fall asleep in this very position at any given time. Of course, it wasn’t often that Captain Kaeya would get much quiet time to himself anyways. 

“Uh, what are you doing?” The voice of Paimon made Kaeya’s eye open under the book before he was pulling it down his face enough to only reveal that one eye.  Seeing Paimon floating at the Traveler’s side made him slip the book off his face completely and shut it before setting it on the table in front of him. His posture was corrected as he sat up straighter and rolled his neck. 

“Couldn't you tell? I was reading.” 

“Paimon think’s you were slacking off.” 

“Is that what it looked like?” He jokes as he pushes his chair back and stands up properly before placing one of his hands on his hips. “I would never be caught slacking off, you wound me.” 

“We’ve heard that before,” Paimon sighs with a shake of her head.  In the moment, Kaeya is reminded of the conversation he overheard before between you and the other two. The same time of day, the same location, the same two participants of that conversation. 

“Say,” he says to gain both of their attention, “what do you think it is?” Kaeya’s exceptionally broad and unprecedented question left the two Outlanders confused. The way the Captain could almost see materialized question marks float around their heads was comical before he elaborated. “I’m asking about my artist, of course. Surely you must have your own idea, no?” 

Both Traveler and Paimon’s mouth opened in shock.  

“You were listening?!” Paimon shrieks before she is shushed by other people in the library for her volume. 

“It’s rude to eavesdrop, Kaeya,” Traveler tells him as they cross their arms over their chest.  Kaeya fakes a gasp before shaking his head and shrugging with his arms up. 

“Eavesdropping? Why, I’d never.” He dropped his arms back to his sides. “I was simply in the area and didn’t want to interrupt such a compelling conversation topic. That would’ve been quite rude of me, wouldn’t you agree?” The looks he received were easily brushed off. “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question.” 

“Well,” Paimon started, “didn’t y/n say it would be Mondstadt?” 

“And? Do you agree with them?” 

“Paimon doesn’t see a reason why not,” she shrugs in the air. 

“I see,” Kaeya’s arm crosses over his chest before he’s resting his opposite elbow on it to cup his chin. His gaze shifts downward before he's blinking slowly, meaningfully. “I suppose I could give you half marks.” 

“Half marks?!” Paimon whispers. 

“What about ‘the people of Mondstadt?’” The Traveler interjects.  Kaeya’s eye shoots back to them and his hand drops from his chin to resume a casual stance. 

“That assumption is largely correct as well.” The smile he gives the two gives nothing away. It wasn’t clear if he was sincere about what he said or if he was just saying it to hear himself talk. “A mosaic is usually a large piece, yes? It would make sense for there to be multiple people taking part in such a project at some point I suppose.” 

“You suppose? You’re just running us in circles here!” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kaeya deflects with a lighthearted tone and short laugh. 

“Fine! We get it!” Paimon huffs before the conversation devolves into little to nothing until he is parting ways with the two, leaving the library and ready to end the day that seemed to have lasted longer than usual. Despite having a rather lax day, he felt lethargic. 

Yet, despite his lethargy, when he finally made it out of his day clothes and into his bed, all he could do was lay on top of his covers and stare at the ceiling. His eyepatch had been removed- just as always when he was in the confines of his home- and his long bangs covered the eye that was always so accustomed to the darkness.  One of his legs was propped up on the mattress with the other stretched out and his arms were folded behind his head. 

His mind was curious about a number of things all the time- so his racing thoughts weren’t unknown to him. Still, the nagging feeling in the back of his mind didn’t let up. Was not seeing you at all really that much of a clog in his daily life? It made him feel so off-set and that alone was enough to plant a seed of anxiety in his chest. 

Kaeya sighs to himself and his ceiling before rolling to his side and letting his bangs slip across his face and reveal his always concealed eye between the blue strands. He closes his eyes and wills his mind to stop dwelling on menial things. 

Heart and mind are difficult things to cooperate with one another though. 

Kaeya Alberich couldn’t risk getting mixed up in too many personal things- it made his future even more murky and daunting than it already was.  

After that one day of missing seeing you out before your commission, Kaeya tried to do it less on purpose. Maybe that was a message from the gods themselves that he needed to take a step back. If your very presence could affect his day to day life like it had, he needed to back off for his sake and yours. And while he didn’t see you off, he still would welcome you back any chance he saw you return to the city with a raised hand he would immediately tuck away again. 

“I didn’t do anything to make you upset, did I?” Of course, you had noticed his sudden shift in nature. 

“Of course not,” he tells you as sincerely as he could. His smile was strained on his lips and his nose felt like twitching from the sheer effort it took just to pull them up. From the unamused look you gave him at his answer, he knew you knew he wasn’t being completely truthful. Still, you just looked away from him and sighed. Kaeya was grateful you didn’t push the issue because a part of him was sure if you had, he would’ve spilled his guts about things he wasn’t sure of himself just yet. 

The process of slowly taking steps away from you wasn’t pleasant for either party. Kaeya’s days had devolved into nothing but more boring paperwork and patrols he could do with his eye closed, and that would mean seeing nothing at all. The dull lag of the daytime was boring to him with nothing to do between his job and downtime he suddenly had. The Angels Share's atmosphere was a welcome comfort to his new, unpleasant routine- though, he could do without the looks from Diluc.

Meanwhile, you had felt the sting of dejection in your chest. You had come to the assumption that maybe Kaeya had finally taken action on your unspoken feelings for him and was politely telling you to take a hike. It was logical to you; a common everyday Adventurer probably couldn’t make it work out with one of the Knights’ Captains. His previous time spent with you was probably just a hindrance, a distraction from his real work, so this was good. He could focus on what was important, protecting Mondstadt. 

Though, that mental pep talk didn’t make it hurt any less. 

Just like Kaeya, you decided to bury yourself in your work. Taking commissions on top of any other field requests. Clearing hilicurl camps wasn’t something difficult and while the occasional Abyss Mage was a pain, it was all manageable. So, when your back to back jobs kept you out of the city for days at a time, that slowly became the norm for the citizens of Mondstadt. 

It was only natural for no one to notice. 

“Has it really been that long?!” Kaeya had been passing through the central square of Mondstadt when he heard the familiar shrill of Paimon. His interest took little to be piqued and he easily strut his way over. “And no one has tried looking for them yet?” Paimon and the Traveler were stuck in a conversation with Katheryne as is the norm for them nowadays when their travels bring them back to the City of Freedom. “Oohhh,” Paimon worries, “Paimon’s worried.” 

“What’s the problem,” Kaeya interjects into the conversation. All eyes shift to him, his easy strides coming to a stop when he fully joins the group with his arms crossing over his chest. “My, what’s with all the long faces?” 

“Kaeya!” Paimon screeches. “Oh, maybe you’ll know! Have you seen y/n around?” Kaeya’s chest tightens. 

“Y/n? I’m afraid we’ve both been too wrapped up in our own duties recently. Sorry to disappoint.” The slight light of hope Paimon dawned dimmed and worry once again took over her features. The tension in his chest felt tighter, like a white-hot coil was entangling itself around his insides and replacing his ribcage. “Has something happened?” He asks slowly, making quite sure his voice doesn’t crack or waver. All his hard work to distance himself from you can’t unravel now; not when you aren’t even here. 

“We aren’t sure,” Katheryne fills in.  All eyes look to her as she repeats what she had just told the duo before Kaeya arrived. “Y/n had taken a rather dangerous commission the other day. It was a job that required them to explore and investigate some ruins that had been discovered behind a wall of rocks on Stormbearer. The commission should’ve well run its course by now, but we haven’t heard back from either the client or y/n, so some of us are beginning to worry.” 

Kaeya’s fists clenched, but no one took notice of them under his cross-armed stance. He made sure to keep his face from giving himself away. 

“Have you made the issue known to the Acting Grand Master?” He questions. Katheryne shakes her head. 

“No, we haven’t. We had had planned on bringing it to her attention if y/n still doesn’t get in touch with us by this evening.” 

“We should let Jean know right now!” Paimon insists and the Traveler easily nods in agreement. “What if they’re stuck in the ruins. Or- or hurt or something!” Paimon’s worry bleeds easily into her words like a fresh wound into water. 

“The last thing we should do is panic,” Kaeya said hypocritically. His gut felt like a boiling cauldron with panic as the main ingredient. Still, his many years of being persuasive and aloof didn’t let any of that show. 

Though, the off hand look the Traveler shot him made him doubt himself; they’ve been awfully diligent when it comes to reading him ever since his wild goose chase he sent them on not long after they arrived in Mondstadt. Or maybe it was just because they had more experience than he initially thought. Still, it almost made him squirm. 

“Well, we’re going to go tell Jean!” Paimon declared, her small hands on her hips as she bobbed up and down in the air. Kaeya just shrugs indifferently, surely not making any moves to oppose them. With a small huff, Paimon and the Traveler take off towards the Knights Headquarters. When they were well out of earshot and sight, Kaeya’s cross arms drop and his gaze moves to the ever-open gate that showed the wilds outside of Mondstadt. 

“Katheryne,” he almost whispers. “You said Stormbearer?” 

Your vision was blurred when you opened your eyes from your, albeit useless, slumber. You had long since tucked yourself between a small alcove of debris and rock in the ruins you had agreed to investigate. Had you known the person who had commissioned this job was some ruin machine-obsessed loon, you wouldn’t had agreed so easily. A couple ruin guards aren’t a big deal, but adding their mechanical brethren- so to speak- on top of a nut job maintaining them the moment you have to step away to recoup, that's when things get tricky. 

Your body had long since grown exhausted from using your Vision by excessively trying not to get killed. Luckily, the mad man only had his madness going for him, so hiding from his view was easy. Staying hidden from the machine’s censors was what worried you, but you had succeeded so far. Because of that very fact, however; you were reluctant to move. Beyond your weary body, hunger and thirst were starting to eat away at you too. 

Having been in hiding with no ample moment to even try fleeing back to the city for additional aid, you had run through what little rations you had. Your gut ached with hunger pains and your throat had never felt dryer, still you weren’t backed up against the preverbal wall so much you threw all caution to the wind. 

Your polearm had remained materialized as you kept it rested against your shoulder for ease of quick use should you require it.  Your vision had never felt heavier from its placement on your person and your hands cramped from how tightly you had gripped your weapon’s staff. You let your head fall back into the rock behind you and let out a silent sigh. 

In truth, you felt more foolish than injured or exhausted. You knew this commission sounded… odd, but you took it anyway. Anything to help distract your mind from the ever cloudy presence of Kaeya- or lack thereof. 

Your small sliver of respite you found in your cove of rock and debris was beginning to quake and crumble… literally. Your eyes you hadn’t realized had dropped back down shoot open and between the crumbling dust that threatened to get into them, you could hear the engines of machines whirring above you. You scramble to get out into the open before your previously, temporary safety could crush you. Though, coming out meant that you would be more vulnerable than you’d prefer. 

The moment your gaze lands on that familiar warm glow of the back of a Ruin Guard, you throw your polearm into its core, coating the blade with water from your Vision without much thought. The guard crackled with electricity as it malfunctioned and was brought to its metallic knees. Sprinting to its back to quickly retrieve your polearm, you made sure to use your Vision to drench its legs and feet just in case it got back up again. Perhaps the moisture would cause it to comically slip and buy you just a bit more time and maybe a chuckle or two. 

It was odd though, aside from the now jagged whirring of the jittering machine in front of you- there was nothing else. No crazed man trying to jump you or sick another random machine of his on you for whatever cause. It was in fact quiet, and that quiet put you on edge. Your brain knew you needed to stay on guard, but the silence was starting to lull your body into a false sense of security you couldn’t trust. 

Still, your mind that had been in fight mode for what should have been days now, had no chance against your weary body. Your grip on your polearm slips and the weapon clatters to the ground just before your knees did and your body slumped rather pathetically afterwards. 

‘If you fall unconscious, you’ll die’,  you mentally scold yourself. Trying to bully yourself into getting back up, keeping your eyes open, keeping your guard up. Still, your mind was beginning to feel as weak as your body. Thoughts swirled together into a mess of intangible words stuck in your mind and your sight was no better.  Perhaps it was your delirium and exhaustion, but your body suddenly grew cold and you vaguely felt goosebumps raise on your skin like winter itself had bloomed in these ruins with you. Among the changes you felt externally, you swore you heard a muffled voice too. 

Perhaps it was the mad man, the one who got you suckered into this stupid job. If it was, he could make quick work of you now since the last of your fight had disappeared taking out that Ruin Ruard core. The warmth you felt on your neck and cheek was the final thing you could mentally register before your body succumbed to its burdens.

‘Odd’, was the first thing that crossed your mind when you found yourself staring blankly up at a well maintained ceiling. You were sure that if you woke up again, and not gotten yourself killed or crushed, you’d be waking up to jagged rocks and mossy walls. So, the well furnished room you now occupied threw you for a loop- which your pounding head didn’t exactly take well. 

The room you were in was familiar, and you were sure you’ve been here before, but your foggy mind couldn’t process where you were.  The bed you were tucked into was soft and comforting, and with a wince the mattress gave when you push yourself to sit up. You were alone in the room and without much thought, you shuffle your legs out from under the blankets thrown over you to place your feet onto the floor and wobble up to your legs with the help of the bedside table acting as a- albeit less than desirable- crutch. 

The door creaking open was almost mistaken by you for the sound of your sore joints straightening out, as humorous as that was to you since you let a brief, lighthearted laugh escape you in a huff. Then, with your sights on the ground, you noticed a shadow casted by light you don't remember being in the room with you before. 

You follow the shadow along the hard floor covered with a single, purple rug until your eyes found a pair of all too familiar boots.  Your aching body starts to feel anxious- a small wave of gooseflesh running across your exposed skin at the idea of Kaeya being in your proximity for the first time in a while. Still, regardless of how you hadn’t been able to squash your silly crush on him or properly prepare yourself for a possible rejection without even confessing- you were no coward. 

With both hands tense on the bedside table, you raise your head to look at the blue haired man who had removed the fur, half-cape from his shoulder.  It was strange seeing how empty his shoulder was without the extra fluff the fur provided. Still, it was nice to see him in his entirety again since it had been a while. The blacklight of the space behind him made it difficult to see his expression since the lights in the room you had woken up in had been turned off presumably for your ease of comfort. 

“It’s been a while,” was the lamest thing that’s come out of your mouth in a while.

Of course it had been, you were both actively avoiding each other and practically the whole of Mondstadt picked up on it. Looking behind his shoulder you could only barely see corners of art pieces on the walls behind him and another rug that ran down the hall behind his heels.  “Kaeya, am I at your house?” You ask, finally realizing where you recognized your surroundings from.  

You’d been in his living room plenty of times visiting, but you had hardly been back in his room unless you were the one tasked with dragging him home from Angels Share and were generous enough to lug his body weight back to his bed. It was a rare occurrence since you were normally one to just dump him on the couch with a blanket and glass of water for his possible next morning hangover. 

Kaeya never graced you with an answer before he was marching into the room. His bootsteps seem louder than usual on his hardwood floors of his enclosed room, but maybe that was just the headache. His hands shoot out to grab your shoulders and turn you towards him, your hands that had been on the wooden night table were effectively removed from its surface and now Kaeya’s grip was the only crutch you had for balance before your brain could full calibrate standing without swaying again. 

“What on Teyvat were you thinking?!” He raised his voice and even in the dimly lit room with only light from the hall flooding in, you could easily see his expressions now. His brow was turned in a frown and his eye clouded with something you couldn’t pinpoint. It was a far cry from his normally suave and dismissive behavior. “Taking an obviously suspicious commission in ruins that hadn’t been officially investigated by the Knights? Seriously, you thought that was smart?!” 

His temper only made your headache worse and in turn soured your already not-so-great mood.  Reaching up to grab his arms like a hook for support, you verbally push back. 

“I think I'm capable of handling things myself, you know? The Guild doesn’t need the Knights’ to babysit them for every little thing, and as a member of the Guild that applies to me too!” 

“Oh yes, so capable you spontaneously disappear for days? Does that sound capable to you?” 

“It does actually because I was handling things just fine by myself, not that it makes a difference to you.” 

“You collapsed next to a Ruin Guard, y/n! What would you have done if it had restarted or if something else would have happened? Magically wake up and jump into battle again, because I have my doubts about that!” 

“What is your problem, Kayea?!” 

“You! You are my problem!” 

Astonished, you scoff before rolling your eyes.  It had been so long since you hashed it out like this with anyone, let alone Kaeya. It didn’t feel good, it made you feel sick to your stomach. Not hearing any retaliations from you, Kaeya guides you by the shoulders back against the edge of the mattress and pushes you to sit down again. You didn’t let yourself release the sigh of relief that you felt now that the weight of your own limbs was lifted- you wouldn’t give the Captain that satisfaction.

You expected him to let go of you, release your shoulders and march out of the room and maybe slam the door for good measure. Or maybe pace around the room before ordering you good enough to argue, so you would be good enough to get out of his hair. Out of the possibilities, the only thing that you predicted right was him releasing your shoulders. 

Kaeya's hands left your shoulders before sliding down your arms and dropping to the mattress edge on either side of you. You were stunned when he dropped to his knees in front of you and the pressure of his forehead resting on your knee felt heavier than anything. Caging you with his arms and using his head as an anchor on your legs he had effectively trapped you. You kept your hands tucked into each other by your stomach, making sure your knuckles wouldn’t brush even a strand of his hair and you could feel the thin strap of his eyepatch leaving an intent on your skin. 

“Kaeya,” you sighed heavily, his name leaving your lips like a weight. 

“I tried,” his muffled voice sounds weak that your gaze softens at the abrupt tone change. “I did. I tried to fix it, but my problem is still you and I can’t do anything about it.” 

“I have no idea what you’re-” 

“Tell me what to do.” His words that interrupt yours cause you to furrow in confusion. 

“What?” 

“Tell me what to do,” he repeats with a strained voice. “I have so many things I need to do, choices but I- I don't want to. So, do it for me.” 

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about. What does all that even mean?” 

“Make me choose you,” he sighs heavily before the hands of his that were placed on the mattress beside you move to lightly grab at your shirt like he was scared to touch you further. As if you’d push him away, scorn him for his actions and inactions alike. “Because I will. I just- I need someone- you, you need to-” His sentences never finish as his breaths become uneven. The hands that grip your shirt tighten to ball the fabric in his fists now. “I’m sorry.” 

Never had you seen Kaeya, the ever debonair Calvary Captain who kept all his secrets stored into his chest, kneel and subsequently crumble like this to anyone- much less to you. Perhaps in the past he never talks about, Diluc had seen him so weak, but that would be where the witness list ends. You lift your hands from your lap and hover them over his hunched body that clung to you like a child; you were unsure if touching him would set him off or if he would recoil from you. Your silence only made his hands that ensnared your shirt tug on the fabric like an anchor keeping a ship from sailing away. 

One of your hands reach to his head and your fingertips breach the blue tresses of his hair. His shoulders tensed and you almost snatched your hand away. 

“Don’t,” he mumbled into your leg. You weren’t sure if he was saying not to touch him or not to pull away. So, you kept your hand half in his hair and unmoving. 

You yelp when the tugging on your shirt flew into a harsh yank. The back of your knees that had previously been resting snug against the edge of the mattress were now well away with the back of your thighs replacing their spot. Closer to sliding right off the bed than comfortably sitting on it, Kaeya’s arms moved to wind around your waist and his face found a new home in your stomach as your arms hovered in the arm like a puppet's dangling from unused strings. 

You could feel the weight of his words fall onto your legs by way of the tears leaving his eyes. You could feel it in the way his shoulders shake and the uneven breaths that warms your lap through his mouth.

“Kaeya,” you softly start, “what has gotten into you? I've never seen you act like this before.” You slowly lower your arms and place your palms on his shoulders gently so as to not startle him; you weren’t going to keep them in the air forever, they’re sore. 

“I’m from Khaenri’ah, you know?” His voice strains as he lets out a pathetic laugh that’s damp with a web forming in his throat. He feels your hands on his shoulders twitch and his grip around you tightens so you have no chance of running from him. 

“Kaeya, what-” 

“My father abandoned me here with the intention of using me as a spy. I’ve only ever told Diluc, but when I did a lot happened and he left, abandoning me too. I don’t care about Khaenri’ah- not anymore- Mondstadt is my home. It’s where my friends are, my brother- even if he will never accept that role again. I can’t leave Mondstadt behind.” 

“I’m sure Diluc doesn’t hate you, not like you think. He just- he’s set in his stubborn ways and isn’t good at communicating.” You decide to speak only on his mention of Diluc, since the new information of the land in which he supposedly hails was still processing in your mind. 

Your previous comparison of Diluc to a rock briefly comes to mind at the mention of his stubbornnes. You nearly laugh at the thought, but now is definitely not the time.

“Please, please, make me choose you. Tell me to, order it of me, I don’t care. Just- don’t make me live without my artist. I can’t risk that again; I can’t take being abandoned again.” 

“Artist? Kaeya, what are you talking about?” You felt like you didn’t understand the words coming out of his mouth. 

There was a bout of silence after your question and the air felt heavy. You know Kaeya heard you, but he was reluctant to answer. Odd, considering the word vomit he had already coughed up in the last several minutes since he came into the room. Your hands start to move and lightly rub his shoulders over onto his neck, silently trying to coax him into talking more. 

“I heard what you said to the Traveler.” You almost roll your eyes because that could be literally anything. Does he know how often you get the chance to actually run into them and Paimon? He is just trying to dodge the question and by habit you lightly swat at his head. A silent, ‘okay smartass’ to keep him going in the right direction. He almost scoffs into your lap for that one. “You called me a mosaic.” Oh. “You told the Traveler that ‘Mondstadt’ is my artist; they said the ‘People of Mondstadt’, but only I know who my artist truly is.” His arms around you twitch and you could almost feel a stitch of pain in your side from how long he's been effectively squeezing you. “My artist is you. It’s just you.” 

The room is engulfed in a silence that feels heavy, yet... somehow also relieving. So much time recently had been the both of you dancing around the issues neither of you wanted to confront and all it took was you getting yourself into potentially mortal danger for days on end for the truth to come out. Kaeya knew you were someone important, but he didn’t realize just how heavy your permanent absence would be to him. Just the thought of possibly finding you in those ruins dead made his throat burn and ache like swallowing a ball of thorns. 

“Kaeya.” 

“I’m not lying,” his voice was strained, filled with fear of being labeled someone worthy of nothing. 

“I wasn’t going to say you are,” the hand that had previously tapped his head now rested on his nest of blue hair. The gentle strokes of your palm against his scalp were soothing as he felt your breath move your stomach against his head. “I don't see why you would lie to me right now.”  There was no doubt in your mind that everything that came out of his mouth was the unadulterated truth. You’ve never seen the suave captain bleed such vulnerability before. 

You didn’t say anything else to him after that. You move your hands to his arms, unwinding yourself from them before pulling him pathetically up onto his own bed. Not even bothering to fix your position, you fall back onto the mattress with your feet hanging off the edge and he easily follows you. From the lighting provided from the hall, you notice his eyepatch string had loosened from all his face hiding and you take it upon yourself to tighten it- securing it back where it belongs. Your fingertips linger around its material for but a moment before sliding down to his cheek.

His eye is brimmed with tears that had stained his skin with tracks and swelling. He also wouldn’t make eye contact with you, and you roll your eyes endearingly at his childish whims. With you both laying sideways on the bed, feet and legs hanging and not even a blanket to cover up with, your thumb run over his skin. Kaeya is quick to reach for and latch his grip delicately onto your wrist to keep it there. 

“‘M sorry,” he mutters again, sounding much more shy than he did before now that his face was in view of your gaze. You smile at him, knowing there was a long and meaningful talk in the near future. 

“I know. Go to sleep.” 

“But I-” 

“Artists' orders,'' you chortle. He just scoffs and offers his own eye roll, but his cheek warms under your palm. His eye closes and he let out a deep breath before taking one back in and repeating. 

“Stay until I open my eyes again.” 

“I will.” 

And you did. 

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 1 Side B

ThatchIzou edit was made by @cloneraid

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Thatch x Izou:

I still need to make a Thatch outfit to match your Izou :P (be glad I forgot before Comic Con) (Mod: yes, this is very much meant towards me. Other than this, no propaganda was submitted)

Propaganda for Shachi x Penguin:

They may be underrated characters with very little screen time, but you can see that they clearly are affectionate with each other (ex: hugging in the manga) and also speaking at the same time, sharing thoughts, and beyond that, they grew up together. They've clearly known each other for a long time and typically work together very well. They are a package deal, you cannot separate them <3

Two idiots with one braincell/ two bros sitting on each other laps because they're gay / it's not gay if it's the homie

Law officiated their marriage fr

They're overcompensating for how gay they are for each other and everyone can tell

(Headcanons included) Everyone who likes a cute younger brother aura X a serious Tsundere older brother aura would love this ship! Shachi and Penguin know each other before they even met Law. I think their parents are on good term since they went to the beach together. I like to think that they knew each other since birth. They are both very close, and inseparable since forever. And it would be cute to think that the both of them only has each other. A cute and shy Penguin being best friend with a fun and exciting Shachi (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)♡ They both survived the tsunami together. And since Penguin was the oldest one. He would feel like he had the responsibility to protect Shachi. Big brother aura Penguin! He loves Shachi so much that he would do anything to protect him… They are very close for a long time because they knew each other's blood type and Shachi invited Penguin to stay at his uncle's house. ✨But of course, the uncle and aunt were abusive. Since Penguin thought that he had to protect Shachi at all cost. Penguin would always be the one to receive most of the physical abuse. Shachi would be a crybaby and cry everytime he sees Penguin in pain. But Penguin would always say that he was okay. (skipping to growing up) there's also that time where a bomb exploded. Instead of worrying about themselves, they cared about the other person more ✨I think it was Penguin would called out for Shachi?Then, there was the fighting scene on swallow island where ShachiPen fought the enemy together. I like to imagine the both of them already liking each other since their younger age. Especially Shachi. Shachi who had been protected during his childhood by Penguin decided to become stronger for him. Because of INK, my favorite artist, that drew a lot of ShachiPen, I have their version of ShachiPen stuck in my head. And it also became my headcanon. Shachi became a lot stronger than Penguin and it is now his turn to protect him. Hehehe. After Savaody I like to imagine that something bad happened to one of them. Then they finally confessed their love. ♡(ŐωŐ人)

[4law]

ok!! i didn’t include everybody cuz this took longer than expected oopsie so lemme know if u wanna be added too! i’m not shipping u with ur selfship cuz that is no fun at all

@sauza : usopp (op), kuguri (hq)

every time you’re on my dash i’m laughing at the thoughts u share with us, and i think these characters can match ur energy so well. ur humor is unmatched i love u!!

@lawscorazon : law ENERU (op) & sakusa (hq)

ares radiates pretty energy and eneru radiates let me bother pretty people like ares until they fall for me energy.

@satotokii : bokuto (hq) & aran (hq!)

bokuto is self explanatory he is a ray of sunshine!! & aran i just feel like he gives good hugs and that’s what someone like u deserves— the best hugs :’)

@yourtamaki : killer (op) & shanks (op)

hear me out— killer will obviously treat you well, but why do i see shanks looking at you with heart eyes ??

@tofutobios : coby (op), zoro (op)

if u haven’t seen op then im referring to post time skip coby!! he has a heart of gold and u are so friendly so omg. and zoro needs your help with directions he needs u to hold his hand whenever he goes outside (NO I SHOUKD HAVE ADDED HIMEKAWA FROM HQ TOO) (omg and tanjiro from kny)

@strawhatsoraya : osamu (hq) & edgeshot (mha)

osamu cooks for you, and edgeshot i just feel like it fits. sora also radiates pretty person energy and edgeshot is so elegant!!

@killsaki : sabo (op) & hirugami (hq)

omg 🥹 i gasped when i thought of sabo that was the person i was looking for!! i was struggling hard fr kisaki & sanji fit so well

@euphofic2 : ace (op), matsukawa (hq)

i feel like after the smelly debate on your page, these two would add their own thoughts to it without hesitation. that’s why. LMFAOO IF UR SCARED OF BUGS, I CAN IMAGINE ONE OF THEM KILLING THEM AND THEN HE SETS THEM ON TOP OF THE TRASH SO U CAN STILL SEE THE CORPSE CLEARLY. laughs very loudly when u notice!!

@icy-spicy : kita (hq) & smoker (one piece)

kita picks flowers for you and smoker holds your shopping bags that’s all ima say!!

@eustassslut : bakugo (mha) & sanemi (kny)

i feel like these fit so well!! i wanted to ship u with kid so bad but here we are

@tenkomi : ace (op) & kenma (hq)

ok i haven’t talked to u all that much but i doooo feel like u and ace would have so much fun together that is what my mind thinks !! he would wake u up at 4 am to get pizza with him and then fall asleep on the way there

@ransluvrboy : oikawa with glasses (hq) & also law but since i ship everyone with law then also king (op! very pretty face reveal) AND OMG LOWKEY AIZAWA (MHA)

it fits the vibe i get from u! BUT ONLY WITH THE GLASSES. i associate u with that pretty green on ur blog and these men match that 🥹 hottest couple for real tell me ghost + king doesn’t sound cool as fuck

and robin

@creompie : shindo yo (mha) & kuroo (hq)

kuroo pats your head when he walks by or leans to rest on your head yeah! & then he does the jaw thing— where u quickly clench and unclench your jaw and u can feel it against your head 🙂

@ / kiiguru : luffy (op) & itadori (jjk)

in case dilly comes back!!

@vlyxen : kirishima (mha), & corazon (op)

no kirishima would love & adore u so good & corazon is so sweet please!! this would be so cute :’)

@rowan-rites : akaashi (hq) & megumi (jjk)

no cuz i just finished ur matchup & picked new ones but!! these characters here will go everywhere with you, and they’d let u fall asleep on their shoulder <33

@sanomnjiro : hawks (mha), tengen (kny)

from op i would put luffy bartolomeo! would be ur biggest fan pleaseee 😭 hawks covers ur eyes with a feather before asking “guess who,” then realizes the feather gives it away! u and tengen are hot that’s all

@dark-mnjiro : crocodile (op), & toji (jjk)

okay i’m getting this vibe … you know that night city / lux theme all over pinterest ?? no this is what u and these two remind me of !!!

@httphaitani : hina (op) & alisa (hq) or zoro (op)

omg and also iwaizumi if that’s okay!! alisa wants to bring you everywhere she goes & hina likes to hug your waist while laying on top of you to tell you about her day…

@sanjithesimp : penguin (op) & zoro (op)

okay penguin maybe not a super popular character but have u seen the fanart!!! ZORO MEANWHILE yes zoro fits so well

@ / benkeibear : twice (mha), (hq)

when i talked to u i literally felt like i was being hugged so yeah these characters would love you so dearly!!

@scabsaint : luffy (op) & sugawara (hq)

luffy would make it his mission to put a smile on your face every day! sugawara likes to see u melt into his hugs (: i already said ace for other people but i would add ace!!

@zorokinniemoment : eustass kid & law (op)

i chose characters that definitely know how to get under ur skin cuz i feel like that trope is so cute 😭 oh and tsukishima (hq!)

@momodwriter : shinso (mha) & akaza (kny)

i just see it. i can’t put my finger on it, but i see it. and yes i did want to put crocodile ):

[eternal-echoes]

Hello! I came across that St. Thomas Aquinas quote you posted about needing to confess to sins one is unsure are mortal or not and am confused. I suffer greatly from scrupulosity and resources for dealing with it have always instructed that if you're unsure if something is a mortal sin or not, assume it is not and let your anxious mind be at peace about it and to avoid confessing to these things. The 10 Commandments for the Scrupulous (a wonderful resource for me) advises "Only confess to sins that are clear and certain," not ones that you doubt are sins or not. It's been a piece of advice that's helped me greatly over the years and I'm constantly having those moments of: "Was that a mortal sin??" but am able to let the worry go by reminding myself of the resources I've read.

Is it simply that there are different rules for the scrupulous and people without it should confess to doubtful sins while those with religious OCD should not? As you may imagine, this conflicting advice has me anxious now.

“When a man doubts whether a certain sin be mortal, he is bound to confess it, so long as he remains in doubt, because he sins mortally by committing or omitting anything, while doubting of its being a mortal sin, and thus leaving the matter to chance; and, moreoever, he courts danger, if he neglect to confess that which he doubts may be a mortal sin. He should not, however, affirm that it was a mortal sin, but speak doubtfully, leaving the verdict to the priest, whose business it is to discern between what is leprosy and what is not.”

- St. Thomas Aquinas (St, Supplement, Q.6 A.4 Reply Obj. 3)

—

Hi Anon, I was honestly worried when I reread it again after being posted that it would stir someone’s scrupulosity.

The best explanation I can come up with it is:

It is possible that someone can commit a mortal sin but because that person had no knowledge that it is a mortal sin due to invincible ignorance so the culpability is lessened in that regard (i.e. being born in the wrong religion and having died with no access to Catholicism). If that person has led a morally virtuous life to the best of his knowledge and ability, he could be in Heaven.

So with that in mind, committing sin may not have the effect of a mortal sin on the soul even if it is mortal because the agent’s knowledge was impaired and therefore was not acting with full knowledge that it was a mortal sin.

I think this is one of those things that doesn’t apply in every case so each one has to be judge on its own. I believe abortion would be judged differently if one has been misled to believe that a fetusl isn’t human.

I think what St. Thomas Aquinas is saying that for everything we’ve done that we’re not sure of, we should let the priest know so he can guide us to see if it is a mortal sin or venial sin. (One time I wasn’t sure if watching TV shows from pirated websites is a mortal or venial sin and when I confessed it the priest said it was venial.)

I’m gonna tag @fr-perry @coruscanttojerusalem

for a more detailed explanation because I feel like I have missed something I probably should have done more research before answering but I know you sent this to me yesterday and I didn’t wanna keep you waiting. If I had said anything wrong here, I’m hoping that Cunningham’s law saves us here.

[aeferkssr]

hi! can i request a matchup? im pansexual and my pronouns are they/he :) i go by franz and i like drawing, programming, and playing video games. i draw digitally, im a dog person, my mbti is enfp (even though im kinda shy and an introvert?) my favorite song is dr sunshine is dead and i sleep a lot

you programme? thatsa actually so cool what. people are telling me to get into programming because i like games but its really not for me. hope you find genuine joy in the hobby franz!

i see your fate and to whom it's intertwined with, the beholder of your heart is...

yanfei!!

☆ this one was actually a little hard but i have an idea for you ☆ ok so lets say that you isekai'd into genshin and was found by madame ping ☆ and she took you to her little table to talk about stuff when you met yanfei ☆ she of course showed interest in you because who wouldn't? you're from another world entirely! with different lifestyles and with different laws! ☆ she definitely asked if you knew anything about the law in your home and when you told her all the other stuff you did she thought it was really cool ☆ she thought you were really cool hehe ☆ how yall actually got together tho im not really sure.. ☆ BUT what i do know is that i feel like even though she has a lot to say (she kinda has to speak lots as a legal advisor) but she's always at a loss fr words when it comes to you <333

"yanfei sweetie, please come to bed" you whined to your girlfriend, who had piles of paperwork sprawled out over the desk in your shared room. "give me a minute franz, i'm almost done with this client's case," she said while picking up yet another piece of paper. "but you said that an hour ago..." you mumbled under your breathe. tired, and utterly sick of her persistence to continue her work at these ungodly hours of the night, you leave the comfort of your bed to walk over to your girlfriend, hugging her by the waist and putting your head in the crook of her neck. "franz honey, i swear i'll be in bed in the next five minutes. just wait a little ok. i swear ill be--" she quickly got interrupted when you picked her up from the waist and carried her to bed. "bed. now 'fei. im tired." you say as you cuddle her close to prevent her from slipping away. "hehe,, ok love"

☆ omg, you know all those dogs walking around in liyue harbour?

☆ you would feed them regularly and they would start to like you a lot

☆ and then when yanfei comes around that area the dogs flock over to her because she smells like you

☆feeding the dogs together <3333

☆ as a former yanfei main i allow you to date my daughter

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

---

anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

[brvdleymilligan]

HLO slinks in thru a bead curtain.......... truly sry this took me so long to concoct bt i’m here now, hand on hip, smiling coyly at u all...... i’m nai n i’m rly excited to b here so i’ll just dive right in!! u can find bradley’s pinterest board here n her muse tag here. like this or hmu for plots!

[ cis female, she/her, margaret qualley , twenty-four ] i can’t be sure, but i think i just saw BRADLEY MILLIGAN drive onto the parkway. don’t they know we’re not supposed to be driving on that haunted road right now? maybe it has to do with the fact that they’re so +RESILIENT and -VOLATILE that makes them feel UNPHASED about everything going on. i guess we could also chalk it up to the fact that they’re always reminding me of LEMON IN A FRESH CUT, THE AMBER BLINK OF AN ANGRY ALLEY CAT, GRINNING WITH BLOOD ON YOUR TEETH. either way, i hope they get back safely. [ nai, she/her, 24, gmt ]

aesthetics: singeing a hole in your fishnets with the cherry of a menthol, spitting a pistachio behind the bar just to hear it ping off the nozzle top bottles, lemon in a fresh cut, a war torn poppy standing alone in an empty field, pressing thumbs to yellow bruises, stomping over flowerbeds when there’s a path right besides it, dangling over ledges just to feel your chest jolt, a snarling rottweiler that needs muzzling, limp feet poking out behind a door, ‘I PROMISE I DON’T BITE’ scrawled on a name tag, slapping a bald head in front of you at the cinema like it’s a bongo, not owning a single jacket that isn’t stolen, driving a stranger’s car down the wrong lane against the screaming traffic, hair more feral than a wolf cub and eyes smudgier than a coal mine.  

BACKGROUND:

ok SO. her father owns a strip club in crescent hill named no angels. it’s kind of.... a seedy establishment i won’t lie. hs a red glowing sign like it’s lighting up a window in amsterdam. cigarette butts floating in oil slick puddles outside. unsavoury characters crawling all over like rats in a sewer. despite this it’s a legitimate business on the surface of things n it does pretty well in trade. it’s like.... that place people warn u NOT to have ur bachelor party at unless u fancy urself the type tht willingly enters a lion’s den bt tht almost??? adds to the allure in a way??? ppl r like wow so sketchy it’s the thrill of a lifetime........ i mean run while u still can bt go off i guess

it isn’t Confirmed Public Knowledge bt it’s pretty heavily implied thru the rumour mill that bradley’s father is the head of a gang of rly............ Not Nice people. all the ppl that work for him u would hands down NOT want to run into in a dark alley. while things seem legitimate on the suface it’s pretty clear they’re into shady dealings n the townsfolk that suspect that would indeed b correct! the club’s a front for a drug business n they’re also washing n running counterfeit cash thru it. they probably also have their hands dipped into a few other local businesses to run their cash thru these too n keep it all seemingly by the books so nobody comes sniffing around. they even r friends with a member of local law enforcement that’s working w them for a cut so they honestly have all bases covered to keep things airtight n foolproof. perhaps a business in reed too which bradley oversees bt i haven’t given this Too Much thought as of yet??

so ya she’s grown up fairly local most of her life n would maybe be known around town as such.................. the milligans r certainly Interesting as far as families go so like. it honestly wldn’t surprise me if ppl nudge elbows when they see one of them coming n immediately walk in the opposite direction. just quite an intimidating presence...... they’re like caged animals where ur specifically instructed NOT to stick ur fingers between the bars bc they WILL bite

on a more personal note her dad is pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse

in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story.

(abuse tw) they had a horrible marriage n tony ws emotionally manipulative at the best of times, violent at worst, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole unhealthy mess.

(death implied tw) anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him

when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline

(drugs implied tw) she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n often gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless

(hospitalisation tw) she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion

CUT TO!!!! the present. she’s currently living at the motel which is like. the least homely place she cld ever live rly but bradley loves making her life uncomfortable n doesn’t rly believe in growing sentimentally attached to anything if she cn help it <3 probably gets into arguments all the time w her neighbours it’s a whole thing.... atrocious at feeding herself has breakfasts frm the vending machine like her organs aren’t screaming fr vegetables.... plays music too loud n sometimes vanishes for days at a time without a word. she’s a lot.

i honestly feel like the murders haven’t rly phased bradley too hugely....... i won’t lie she probably genuinely is like. oh maybe it’s smthn to do w my dad. n just blinks the other way not rly that phased. on some subconscious level i think she rly just thinks........ death follows her wherever she goes n is like. this is just life for me! kind of depressing. holds her hand bt then screams n pulls away when she inevitably bites me.

PERSONALITY:

the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for

once drank a bottle of whiskey, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried

barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%

if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip

(alcoholism tw) high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin

loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u (rare) and u murder a man in cold blood (not so rare in the broad scheme of bradley’s life) she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty

honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. minefield!

has the worst luck in romance…. ever. ALL her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality. definitely NOT a romantic. very cut n dry abt these things. sex is mostly just sex n she’d kind of scoff at anyone that wanted more from her

mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. huge chunky stomping boots with steel toe caps that would RLY bruise if they gave u a kick. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hs kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content. the only time she rly looks put together is when she has to do something/go somewhere/see someone on behalf of her father....... he kind of uses her as a sort of. honey pot sometimes fr shit his gang get up to it’s like. not! a way u should ever utilise ur daughter but :/ i cannot stress enough how much i wna drop kick him in the neck

she’s v sarcastic. blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s very confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever if she feels like it. independent too like she hs a bunch of (predominantly surface connection) friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone n does this often. she’s probably kind of known around town bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy

likes: drunken snow angels that drag on so long they flirt with pneumonia, stealing cars, throwing watermelons off rooftops to watch them explode, shooting pedestrian’s with bb guns from hidden spots on rooftops. 

dislikes: telling the truth, tulips so yellow it’s like they’re gloating, playing music loud enough to fry your brain and serve it on a piece of toast, going home.

PLOTS:

someone tht works at the ‘no angels’ strip club?? either as a dancer or bartender or whtever. just a forewarning it’s probably gna b a pretty….. seedy and Not That Pleasant environment bc it’s like. a crime hotspot inevitably bc it’s a gang hangout so. ur chara wld truly be in fr a rollercoaster ride to say the least

(drugs tw) she deals coke fr her dad’s gang so perhaps ur muse buys off her

anyone….. she’s brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!

fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship honestly bradley is. a handful...... it’s also rly not often she ties herself down tbh so this would maybe have to b discussed/be circumstantial/kind of rare)

mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n broke the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it

ppl she……. Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination

on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it

maybe people who r her neighbours that live at the motel too??

OH it could b fun if ur muse runs or works at a local business maybe like. a bar? idk? n bradley n ur muse have developed a rapport bc she frequents the place n is................ a Character

um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!

[mastreworld]

Be nosy-

1-50

I'm very nosy! 😛

That took me a second but here they are:

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Grey-asexual, aro-adjacent, and bi... something (it’s complicated)

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Playing Sims 2, but I feel like it’s about to shift. Not sure what’s next.

3. Ever done any drugs?

Not beyond alcohol, no. I wouldn’t be against trying space cake one day but that’s more for curiosity's sake.

4. What piercings do you want?

I have one in each ear; can’t think of any other I’d like to have.

5. How many people have you kissed?

Not sure... between 5 and 10 maybe? I’ve never been a fan of kissing tbh.

6. Describe your dream home.

With a space for everything so it doesn’t get so /#(&% cluttered.

7. Who are you jealous of?

No one that I can think of.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

Don’t have one right now. I’ve been watching “Cold Case” but that’s not really a show you can binge on since it’s so tragic. I do occasionally go on a “Final Destination” binge-watch though.

9. Do you watch porn?

No, I gave up on that decades ago because it was all so boring and disappointing. I can, however, enjoy gifs and pics.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Not secret but I have a cat-blog @cattyfelines , one writing @mastrewritingupdates and one @naughtymastre that I no longer update because tumblr fucked it up in their sex-negativity 🙄

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

That... I really don’t know. I support teleporting as a way of traveling though.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

To snuggle up against Loki in bed with my face against his neck, his arms around me and my leg over his hip... sorry, got a bit carried away in the details, heh.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Absolutely not! *shudder*

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

Making sure that I and my daughter remain financially secure for the foreseeable future. I would also finally feel free to donate to any causes I want to support, so I don’t feel so powerless in the world.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Nope, and I prefer singlehood.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

I did, but they seem to have disappeared so I guess they got tired of Tumblr’s fuckery and moved elsewhere.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

Not unless I allow myself to think about it. My anger gets triggered by bullies and bigots, especially if they act controlling.

18. What tattoos do you want?

One of Loki’s helmet and the words “God of Mischief” and possibly one with some kind of cat.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I changed my first name slightly by omitting part of it and just leaving “Marie” back in my twenties. I also tried to change my last name to “Strega” but the patent laws in my country wouldn’t allow it so I added it as a second first name instead (and use it in informal situations.)

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Nutritional science keeps coming back in my obsessions. As does various languages I want to learn.

21. Describe your best friend.

Lives in India, writes naughty Loki fics, and sent me a box of beautiful things recently 🥰 She’s also adorable.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Uhm...@MCU Loki?

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Meatloaf, Buffy Sainte-Marie, FR David, Modern Talking, Belinda Carlisle... though I’m more into individual pieces than artists.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

I’m really not much for traveling but it might be fun to go back to London one day. Also considering visiting Amsterdam at some point. And I’m getting curious about India.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

All alone. Snacks at the ready. Favorite music. Indulging shamelessly in one of my favorite games.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Summer.

27. What’s your pet peeve?

People who won’t respect the word “No” (or boundaries in general).

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

I’m originally Swedish so my thoughts revert to Magnus Härenstam and Brasse Brännsström, lol. There might be someone more recent but it’ll pop up after I’ve posted this, most likely.

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Probably “Thor Ragnacrap”.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

Can’t. I’d just disappoint them due to not being able to keep up the contact.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

After careful consideration and trying out both, I prefer paper books. E-books are practical though, so I still have some.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Don’t know... Probably one of my own making.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Tailored to my taste and body shape. Soft materials. Black pants and short jackets. Colorful tops. A mix of masculine and feminine. Comfortable shoes with heels.

34. What’s your coffee order?

None, I can’t stand coffee.

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

None beyond Loki. I crush easily but mostly on fictional characters since they are more interesting.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Nope. They killed those thoroughly.

37. Have any tattoos?

Not yet. Maybe I get around to it someday.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. I drink wine when invited somewhere and I like sweet dessert wines and creamy liqueurs, but I can’t have more than two glasses or I get sleepy.

39. Are you a virgin?

No, that was a long time ago.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Nope, but I feel affectionate towards them.

41. How many followers do you have?

1661 as of this moment.

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Slender, black hair, male but with a bit of an androgynous vibe. Intense.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Sweet-tasting food.

44. Do you read erotica?

In the form of fanfic smut, yes. I rarely come across anything good among mainstream books.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Never officially dated, so can’t say.

46. How many people do you follow?

213

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Uh... I don’t do marriage.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

Respectful, kind, open-minded, and quiet. Dominant and feral in bed.

49. Who do you text the most?

My disability coach, lol.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Sunny without being hot.

This was fun!

[collapsedsquid]

At nightfall on Wednesday, June 23, 1858, a knock came on the door of Salomone and Marianna Mortara, Jewish residents of Bologna. Only the wife was at home with the children. It was the papal police force. “Your son Edgardo has been baptized,” announced Marshal Lucidi, “and I have been ordered to take him with me.”

A few years earlier, the Mortaras had left the duchy of Modena, then under the rule of the House of Austria-Este, and moved to Bologna, the second-largest city of the Papal States. There they joined a community of some two hundred Jewish people, mostly merchants, who had carved out a comfortable living for their families in that fat, erudite, and reddish city. Though the walls of the Jewish ghettos had come down by that time, certain regulations still separated Christians and Jews. One of these forbade Christians from being employed in Jewish households, precisely in order to prevent situations like the one in which the family now found itself. The Mortaras had ignored this regulation. When their infant son, Edgardo, fell ill and was judged to be beyond recovery by both doctors and parents, he was secretly baptized by his Catholic nanny, Anna Morisi.

On the night before Edgardo’s removal, his male relatives assembled and were admitted to see the Dominican inquisitor, Pier Gaetano Feletti, who lived in the convent of San Domenico, where St. Dominic himself was buried. As one chronicler recounts, the priest, a government official of the Papal States, explained calmly that because Edgardo had been secretly baptized five years earlier, he was a Catholic and could not be raised in a Jewish household. “Don’t worry,” Fr. Feletti said, “little Edgardo would be under the protection of the pope himself.” Edgardo was six years old.

Thus commenced the series of events that brought the opprobrium of the world upon Pius IX. “For him I was the child of tears,” Mortara would later write, “and he loved me like a mother who prefers the son who has made her suffer the most.” As Bertram Wallace Korn recounts in The American Reaction to the Mortara Case, 1858–1859 (1957), the outcry was particularly loud in America. The New York Herald described the Mortara affair as one of “colossal dimensions,” whereas the Times published more than twenty articles on the topic in the month of December 1858. Newspapers in Milwaukee, Baltimore, and elsewhere expressed similar support for the demand that the United States intervene in the affairs of an independent state.

Pope Pius IX, who had been elected in 1846, was not deterred by the negative reactions. In fact, he repeatedly replied to those who, in the face of the public brouhaha, urged him to return the Mortara child, “Non possumus”—that is, “We cannot.” Piety, not stubbornness, explains this response. Those involved in the removal of Edgardo Mortara were certainly conscious of the human pathos, but the human element was not the only one to be considered. Both the law of the Church and the laws of the Papal States stipulated that a person legitimately baptized receive a Catholic upbringing. Today’s Code of Canon Law, can. 868 §2, still affirms that “an infant of Catholic parents or even of non-Catholic parents is baptized licitly in danger of death even against the will of the parents.”

The requirement that all legitimately baptized children receive a Catholic education was not arbitrary. Since baptism causes birth into new life in Christ, children require instruction about this form of new life. Furthermore, although the Italian Risorgimento had begun, the diplomatic world in 1858 still recognized Pius IX as both pope and prince in Bologna. While the pontiff displayed his human feelings by making Edgardo his ward, Pio Nono nonetheless felt duty-bound to uphold the civil law. This law was not unreasonable, moreover. Even today, the Code of Canon Law, can. 794 §1, assigns to the Church the task of educating Catholics.

As the Catechism puts it, “Baptism seals the Christian with the indelible spiritual mark (character) of his belonging to Christ.” This mark is invisible, and one thus may certainly understand why the Jewish community of the time interpreted Edgardo’s relocation as an act of unjust religious and political hegemony. Their nineteenth-century Gentile sympathizers, who took the Church’s action as an affront to religious liberty, deserve less sympathy. In fact, the Mortara case exacerbated anti-Catholic sentiment in the United States, giving the dying Know-Nothing party a few more years of influence. And prejudiced manipulation of the Mortara case has not disappeared. Steven Spielberg is currently preparing a film adaptation of David Kertzer’s The Kidnapping of Edgardo Mortara. In order to forestall wrong and unwarranted interpretations, which may include allusions to child abuse, Catholics and other people of good will must acquire a right understanding of baptism and its effects.

[...]

No one who considers the Mortara affair can fail to be moved by its natural dimensions. It is a grievous thing to sever familial bonds. But the honor we give to mother and father will be imperfect if we do not render a higher honor to God above. Christ’s authority perfects all natural institutions—the family as well as the state. This is why he said that he came bearing a sword that would sunder father and son. One’s judgment of Pius will depend on one’s acceptance of Christ’s claim.

Pius’s simple words—non possumus—were first used in the early fourth century when Diocletian ordered the destruction of Christian Scriptures and churches and forbade Christian liturgies. A group of forty-nine Christians in the African city of Abitinae were found to have disobeyed this command by meeting for the Eucharist in the house of a man named Emeritus. When asked why they had disobeyed the emperor’s command, Emeritus said, “Sine dominico non possumus”—“We cannot live without this thing of the Lord.” Because they had given to God what was God’s, Caesar killed them. Down through the ages and under many different circumstances, Christians have confounded the world by insisting on the reality of the Lord’s things.

Those examining the Mortara case today are left with a final question: Should putative civil liberties trump the requirements of faith? We should be grateful if that question does not become pressing, but we cannot assume it will not. Christians who are tempted to side with the enlightened critics of Pio Nono should examine how much they themselves prize the gifts of supernatural grace that ennoble human nature.

@balioc’s recent post reminded me of this tradcon piece that Matthew Sitman linked to when discussing Sohrab Ahmari that was published by a magazine that supports him defending the kidnapping by the papal states of a jewish child, known as the Mortara Affair

[aworldoffandoms]

Runaway - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Duty Calls

Pairing: Liam x MC [Ariel]

Word Count: 3, 857+/- (my words got away with me)

Rating: T 

Warnings: Minor swearing

Summary: Liam continues with his duties as king but stumbles upon information that brings him a step closer to getting the answers he seeks.

MASTERLIST

Tag list: @hopefulmoonobject @annekebbphotography @am-i-invisible777  @blznbaby @khakie4 @lauradowning29 @blackcoffee85 @captain-kingliamsqueen @moneyfordiamonds @super-secret-fandom-blog @jovialyouthmusic @zaffrenotes @ao719 @umccall71 @carabeth @furiousherringoperatortoad

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Pixelberry and all characters belong to them. The plot is all mine.

A special shoutout to @ernestsinclairs ! Thank you for all your edits, suggestions and rewrites! You are honestly the best! :) 

The sun had chosen today of all days to hide behind the clouds as Liam exits the palace to head into the capital. Situations like a queen’s disappearance still didn’t exempt him of his duties. There was the grand opening of a new cancer wing of the Children's hospital, the annual yacht race preparations, the tedious task of approving foreign business licenses afterward. A little pang speared him in the heart as the first task strayed into his mind. The treatment had been set in a new healthcare scheme that Ariel had spearheaded as queen. One last act of the most benevolent person he knew. Families would be able to claim treatment on this scheme and be able to pay the treatment off within their price range. A win-win in any case. Liam would do anything to make it easier on the families going through turmoil with a sick child.

Liam knew he needed this, not only because Regina had urged him to, but for his people as well. He hadn’t been out of the palace for an official engagement in almost a month. His people were getting anxious and it didn’t help that the media was exacerbating the situation -- even bringing up Ariel’s disappearance more than twice in each broadcast.

In all instances, Liam had to agree with this statement, because, in some way, it was true. Although finding Ariel was his top priority, he feels his heart squeeze with guilt as he realizes that his people, his country, needs their King. He couldn’t afford them losing faith in him now.

Having a country which didn’t support him would be the final nail in his heart and his mental stability.

Ariel needs me also…

Liam had to prioritize in some way. This searching was becoming all-consuming and maybe, just maybe, it was starting to wear on him.

He was exhausted all the time. Less than 4 hours sleep, paired with those eight o’clock meetings every day and signing off on royal papers in between, while also searching for Ariel and he’s already on thin ice.

This was unhealthy and his people were starting to see the cracks.

Liam steels himself as he squares his shoulders while taking a deep breath and plasters the regal smile on his face he used for all royal occasions.

As soon as he steps out of the black SUV, the dulled voices of the crowd outside erupts into cheering and loud exclamations from the excited crowd at seeing their King again.

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty!”

“Oh my goodness! It’s the King!”

“I feel like we haven’t seen King Liam in ages. Does he look tired to you?”

That last comment hit a nerve but he pretends not to notice and keeps his carefully composed mask on his face as he continues his march towards the hospital.

He gives the crowd a smile and waves as he makes the rounds talking to a few commoners and nobles that have gathered for the cutting of the ribbon.

Bastien then guides him to the wing of the hospital where he is met with the Director of Medicine of the Cordonian Children’s Hospital. What was her name? Ingrid, probably.

Ingrid curtsies and raises her hand to Liam and gives him a smile. “Thanks for coming, your majesty. We are so honored to have you here.”

Liam smiles, reciprocating the gesture as he gives the director a firm handshake. “I am always happy to offer my support in any way possible that helps the children of Cordonia.”

Ingrid flashes him another warm smile.

“Well…if you’ll follow me I’ll give you a tour of the new wing and then you can cut the ribbon to commemorate its opening.”

Liam nods as he follows Ingrid with Bastien and the King’s Guard following close. The media trails behind them with a few cameras recording his journey through the hospital with avid interest.

The tour goes well and Liam offers a genuine smile to the cameras as he cuts the ribbon. On his way to the car, he stops and offers a few words to some kids that were clamoring to get a glimpse of the king. He had a few kind words to them until Bastien ushered him away. Duties in Valtoria awaited.

Hana and Maxwell had put all their energy into keeping that duchy alive and since both were on the Royal Council they had enough power to help. Liam had no qualms with that, given that he gave Ariel that duchy, to begin with.

Another royal engagement and another day without his queen. He almost wonders if this is what he’ll end up doing for the rest of his life. Taking it day by day, barely existing as the world moves on around him.

Liam sighs as he loosens his tie, stepping into the wardrobe that he once shared with his wife. His eyes glance to her side and another wave of pain spears through him at seeing it empty.

He swallows the lump in his throat. How can he still feel this way? Why can’t he move on? It was like he was stuck in mud or bound by chains and only Ariel had the means to get him out. She was the only one to lift him from this horrid, dark place that he’s been in ever since she left.

Liam turns around to step onto his side of their wardrobe and strips off his official daily regalia. As he shrugs off his jacket a flash of white catches his eye under the lights and his breath catches as he realizes that it was his royal wedding outfit. His heart thunders in his chest and his mind flits back to that day when Ariel’s face lit up as their eyes met from opposite sides of the cathedral. He wanted to run to her but knew it wasn’t the customary thing to do and instead marvelled at her beauty.

He runs his fingers down the sleeve of his wedding jacket, despite the pain he feels he can’t help but smile. He has to remember the good times he had with Ariel. He needs to have hope. That’s all he has left.

As he turns to go into the bathroom, his fingers catch on something as they were still trailing down the front of his jacket and he snaps his head to his white tux and furrows his brow.

What could that possibly be?  

Liam’s brow creases even further as he steps closer and digs into the front pocket of his jacket. His fingers latch on to something hard and paper-like. He lifts it from its confines and finds a folded piece of paper.

His eyes narrow as his mouth twists in confusion.

“What is this?” Liam mumbles as he flips it over.

Something nags at him and his stomach clenches when he realizes that this is another letter as he finds his name on top of it in the unmistakable cursive script of his wife.

Why would Ariel write me another note?

Liam’s heart almost stops. A new note? She honestly couldn’t break his heart more than she already has? Her words in her goodbye letter still haunt him.

He gulps as he slowly opens the note with shaking hands. His pulse increases when he finds his name at the top of the note, but it patters off in confusion when he finds a cluster of letters underneath it.

***

B TF WHBGC MABL YHK PHNK IKHMXVMBHG. 

PAXG RHN WXVBIXK

MABL, FTR RHNK CHNKGXRZ MTDX RHN MH FHLVHP  – KHNY TGLPXKL PBEE UX MHXKE

UX LTYX, FR EHOY

***

I am doing this for your protection.  When you decipher this, may your journeys take you to Moscow - your answers will be there.

Be safe, my love

***

What in god’s name is this?

They were all a jumble of words, though their meaning was obviously forthcoming. Something so important and astounding that it could blow this whole investigation of trying to find his queen wide open. As a king…should he know what this means?

Maybe he came across a topic like this in his studies as a teen, but being a teen and a prince at the same time, he’d followed in Leo’s example just once, wanting reckless adventure and wallowing in luxury. His education was important, but he found himself bored with Machiavellian theory and fork placement for five hours a day when all he wanted was to sneak out and play maze tag with his friends and brother.

Right now, he wants to kick his younger self.

One thing was for sure…he needed to get this piece of paper deciphered and the only person who knew how to at least try to understand that paper was Regina. Surely she would be willing to help - this was her daughter-in-law and the chance for a grandchild after all.

Liam wants to get to it straight away but as he glances at his watch, the time had simply flown by. Regina would most definitely be asleep, and she didn’t particularly like to be waked.

He’d ask her in the morning, he thought to himself as he felt a yawn overtake him.

Stepping in front of the vanity, the contents of the note still perplexing him as he finishes, dries and gets ready for bed.

Liam closes his eyes, the letters dancing behind his closed lids.

His gut told him that those jumbles of words were important. Hadn’t Ariel been the one to teach him that? It had to be a test. But…why did it take him two years to find it?

That suit jacket had hung on his shoulders for so many times since her disappearance…how did it just show up now?

Could it be possible that Ariel had planned this in her own way?

Liam’s face lights up in a smile, even as sleep starts to come for him. To this day, Ariel still surprises him. Her unpredictability and decisiveness always manages to surprise him. Damn, she was a force. And he loves her more for it.

I miss you, Ariel.

Liam’s eyes prickle with tears, the cloud of sorrow almost drowning him again as the remains of his broken heart melt on the floor as it calls for his life back.

Liam turns to his side and splays his hand out on Ariel’s side of the bed. He sighs. He wishes. He yearns and he aches and desires for her to be beside him so he can cradle her in his arms, sink into her scent of freesia and strawberries.

Liam drifts off into a deep slumber with the face of his beloved behind his eyes, hoping wherever she was, she was thinking of him too.

***

“Breaking News just coming out from Sweden...Prince Carl Philip has been confirmed missing by King Carl Gustav and Queen Silvia. The prince was last seen out with friends before disappearing after a royal engagement. The prince’s security detail was reportedly neutralized.

The Swedish Royal family has released a statement to the public:

“We are utterly distraught at the prospect of our son, Prince Carl Philip, missing. Our security staff and national police are looking into his disappearance. If anyone saw anything last night, please ring the royal press office at 9398-2345-5443 or email at royalpressoffice@swedenroyal.com

We thank you for all your thoughts and prayers at this tough time and we hope against hope that Prince Carl Philip will return to us soon.”

______________________________________________________________

“Prince Carl Philip was out celebrating his third wedding anniversary at the Villa Solbacken.

This news comes as a number of other royals have disappeared throughout Europe. Queen Letizia of Spain went missing three months ago. Today marks the one year anniversary since Prince Amedeo of Belgium also went missing. It’s been two and a half years since Queen Ariel of Cordonia vanished into thin air. Should the rest of Europe be worried?

Royalists like to think so. However, we cannot jump to conclusions.

Please remember that if you have seen or heard anything about Prince Carl Philip, let the royal press office know on the number on the screen.

Until then, I’m Kerri Constance, goodnight.”

“Seriously, Liam? You’re watching this shit?” Drake says as he arches his eyebrow at his best friend.

Liam gives Drake an exasperated scowl, his eyes still trained on the screen.

“No, Drake. I’m not watching this shit for fun. I’m watching it for a reason. The Prince of Sweden has gone missing.”

Drake’s eyes widen as he settles beside the king in the palace drawing room. The TV was blaring the six o’clock news, the anchors eagerly jumping on the story of the newest missing royal.

Liam stares intently at the screen and Drake just watches him for a minute, seeing the cogs turning in his mind. He was thinking and Drake liked to think that Ariel was on his mind. After all, why wouldn’t it be?

“They have been running this story all day. They’ve mentioned Ariel’s case a few times already.”

Drake nods as he leans forward in his seat, as he glances up at the TV listening to the anchorwoman talk about the missing prince and other royals that have been vanishing over the last few months.

“Have other royals been disappearing too?” Drake inquires.

Liam nods as he leans back against the couch, ticking off all the missing people on his fingers.

“They have. The Crown Prince of Denmark, Queen Letizia of Spain, the Belgian Prince, and Princess Marguerite of Monaco. She was at a summit for international relations with country leaders at the Royal Palace there. She went to freshen up, never came back. They’re . . . understandably upset over there.”

Damn! That many royals missing over a few months? And all of them in Europe? 

That put a bad taste in Drake’s mouth. 

Something didn’t feel right.

“Have you had any luck with the prisoners?”

Liam finally tears his eyes away from the television to give Drake his undivided attention. An actual smile seems to play on his lips, although faint.

“Yes. Under careful interrogation by Bastien and his men, they have managed to uncover plots that they were going to implement if the kidnapping was successful. One was using past indiscretions against us to blackmail into abdicating. They also got some information about some offshore accounts. Bastien did some digging and all of these link to many places in Europe and America.”

Drake nods, their American contact's words straying back into his mind. Nazario was his name, was it not? He’d be valuable in the future.

Liam sighs, his expression grave.

“I have a feeling that The Sons Of Earth have been funded by these people. And it seems like they are pretty powerful people considering that none of the money has been found anywhere else. Anton was sneaky. He went undetected for months as Ariel’s press secretary...so I wouldn’t put it past him to somehow get away with this.”

Liam glances down at the paper in his lap, fingering it for a few beats before he hands it over to Drake.

“What’s this?” Drake asks, his furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, the deciphering of the code now at play.

“A note I found in the pocket of my wedding tux.”

Drake’s eyes widen as he stares at Liam, then glance down at the note again. “What? How did it get in there? It’s been nearly three years since your wedding.”

Liam shrugs, exhaling heavily. “I have no idea. Ariel seems to have had everything under control even before she left. My guess is it’s a code or something.”

Drake glances at the note. The letters swam before his eyes almost teasingly, beckoning him to come and decipher them. But after a few minutes, the only thing he’d gleaned was that it was a sentence of some sort. What a pity that was. 

Drake leans forward on the couch as his mind runs, his mind latching onto some information he gathered when flitting through a Cordonian history book during one of his many journeys through the palace when a ball was underway. “I swear it was in a book...but I remember you mentioning something when we were kids...when that warrior Queen that founded the five kingdoms would use ciphers and hidden messages to send her allies details of where she was when she was in exile? Could this be something like that?”

At Drake’s words, Liam freezes, his back straightening in firm realization.

“Drake,” is all he says, the word pushed out like the dying breath of a man gasping for air.

Drake’s heart beats heavily, his stomach twisting in concern for his friend. Liam hadn’t stopped staring at him for a good two minutes.

“Uh...yes, Liam?”

Without a word, Liam snatches the cipher from Drake’s palm and stands up, charging out the door and stumbling into the main atrium.

“Liam, where are you going?”

Liam glances back at Drake, his eyes alight with the determination he saw only a few weeks ago when they were all gathered in his office.

Liam smiles. “I’m going to Regina to get this cipher figured out. She has experience with these. She had to decipher some letters my father would get in the mail. And then…”

“And then... what?” Drake says, Liam’s animated state disconcerting as his actions were almost robotic in nature.

“And then we find Ariel.”

Liam doesn’t say another word and continues on his way, Drake following after him at a brisk jog, still trying to catch the man’s attention.

“Liam...wait! Are you sure this is the right way to go?”

Liam glances behind his shoulder, addressing his friend as he takes the gilded steps up to the third floor two at a time. 

“Of course I am, Drake. Just have a gut feeling that’s all. I have no indication how long this,” Liam pauses, raising the folded piece of parchment up in the air. “...has been sitting in my jacket for. For all I know, it was there the whole time and I was too dense to notice it! It was right in front of my eyes this whole time!”

Liam takes a deep breath, his pulse rising in anger, his fists clenching beside him. He was angry. Angry at himself for being so consumed by his pain that he didn’t see the little details. At Ariel for sending him on this wild goose chase. At this whole situation. He should be living happily ever after with Ariel and here he was trying desperately to hold on to anything that could give him that.  

Add that to the fact that European royals are going missing and, deep down, Liam had no idea what was happening.

How could he be so foolish? How could he be so blind, so overcome by his pain that he couldn’t look at his wedding tux until nearly three years later? What kind of lurid joke was this? Had Ariel intentionally put that there? Would she be angry at him that he had taken nearly three years to find it?  

Liam sighs as he glances at Drake.

“What else can I do? Bastien has spent the last two weeks interrogating the captured prisoners. This may be the last bit of evidence we have. It could be what breaks the case and we have a solid lead.”

Drake stares at his closest friend and his heart tightens as he sees the light he saw earlier faltering in those blue eyes.

He couldn’t see his friend falling back into those old, destructive patterns again.

Drake sighs, nodding in resignation.

“Okay, let’s do this. Whatever answers we get from Regina - I’m with you all the way.”

Liam’s mouth lifts up in a winsome smile as his hand comes to Drake’s shoulder as he tightens his hold in gratitude. “Thank you, Drake.”

Drake shrugs. “All good.”

Liam chuckles at his friend's noncommittal answer as he knocks on the door three times. The pounding in his ears grows louder by the second until it’s replaced by another noise - the pattering of feet behind the door. A voice calls out, and Liam answers as he steps through the door.

“Regina? It’s Liam.”

Regina glances up and her grey eyes slightly widen as she catches the sight of both of them, disheveled from their trek up the stairs, Liam still slightly breathless.

“Liam? What is the matter? Is there something you wish to discuss with me?”

Liam nods. “Yes, there is Regina.”

Liam lifts the paper, Regina giving it the careful appraising look she was so famous for. “What is that?”

Liam takes a seat in front of Regina and passes over the note with the incomprehensible jumble of letters written on it.  Regina stares at it, before opening what was given to her, her fingers almost hesitant as she does so.  

Liam stares at his step-mother with intensely, his eyes scanning her face for any twitch or change in expression.

So, when he sees her eyes widen and a gasp escapes her lips, panic sets in. “What? What is it, Regina?”

Regina glances up at him, her eyes wide with shock. “Liam…”

Liam grits his teeth as he says, “What is it, Regina? Did you decipher it?”

It surprised Liam that it only took Regina a few minutes to read the cipher, but he shouldn’t be so surprised about that considering that she did it for his father all the time. He still kicked himself for not studying them in greater detail.

Regina sighs as she gestures in vain towards the letter in a futile attempt to explain its meaning.

“This cipher isn’t complex in the least but what it says is rather direct.”

Liam gives Regina a pleading look. “And does it entail exactly?”

Regina sighs, raising her gaze to his, her words blunt and piercing.

“It says the answers you seek are in Moscow. Ariel left to protect you. But from what?” Regina shrugs, as she shakes her head. “I’m not quite sure. But, I’m guessing it’s something big if it entails her leaving you and Cordonia behind.”

“Could the Sons of Earth be more involved in Ariel’s disappearance than we first thought?”

“As much as I don’t want to believe it -- I think they are. If we find the answers in Moscow…maybe the real reason that Ariel left may be revealed.”

Liam groans as he stands and runs his hands through his hair again, the frustration settling back into his shoulders.

He finally turns to Regina for a faint smile.

“Thank you so much, Regina. I will keep you updated on what we do next. You have helped me out immensely.”

Regina smiles and then turns back to the book she was reading, a quiet signal that the conversation was over.

Drake follows Liam out of the room, his voice ringing a little too loudly for his liking in the deserted palace halls.

��Liam. What do we do now?”

Liam glances to Drake, his eyes set in steely resolve, his jaw set.

“I’m not wasting any more time. We are going to Moscow. Tonight.”

[laughing-drawing-aces]

Character ask meme! Both Sam Winchester and Steve Harrington for 1, 2, 6, 15, 18?

Steve Harrington:

: favorite thing (s) about this character

Where to even begin? Lol. He’s just so sweet and kind to people. He loves the people that are his family and friends and he would do anything for them. He just cares so deeply about the people that he loves. And he’s just so sweet with kids while also being annoying about it lol. But also I love how he’s just able to be their friend and he’s so sweet. I love how he uses humor to get his friends to laugh and how he just wants to make them laugh and feel happy when they’re constantly surrounded by misery. I also love his bitchy moments and how he is very judgmental. And I love his sass and the way he’s a fucking badass without even meaning too. I just love everything about him! I also love how self aware he is in how he’s feeling - I mean he pushes it down but that’s a whole other reason but he knows what he’s feeling and just idk I love it lol.

2: what song (s) remind you of this character

Don’t blame me by Taylor Swift

Lovely by Lauren Babic (it’s a cover of Billie elish’s song but I love this cover a lot)

I wanna get better by Against the Current and the ready set (also a cover but I love this one)

A million pieces by point north

Funeral home by yours truly

6: fav thing the character has said

I’m stealthy like a ninja - ngl I just think it’s so funny and I love how he thinks of himself as a ninja , it’s so cute and sweet

15: fav line of theirs

I just want to help - this is just god this is who Steve is, this quote perfectly goes with his character arc and who he is as a person and it just means so much to me

18: what’s something you associate with this character

The color yellow mainly cuz of his sweater this season but also cuz yellow just radiated sunlight and happy energy which Steve is. Also huge cuz he fr looks like he’s the best at hugs. Also using hands to talk- when talking constantly moving hands

Sam Winchester

1: where to begin? Lol. Sam is just so fucking sweet and cares about everyone in his life. He legit has put himself on the line for people he doesn’t even know like he just fucking cares so much. His beliefs are something that I fucking love where he talks about how it isn’t what someone is but the actions that the person takes. And it’s just dibxjdhdb. I love how fucking smart Sam is like he was going to go to law school and got a 174 (I believe) on his SAT scores. However, on the flip side I also love how fucking reckless and dumb he can be. He fr told Dean that he wasn’t sure one of his plans would work out when dean’s life was on line (he said it after Dean was safe and this was in season 1 lol). I love how he said the exorcism backwards to get demons out of bodies and he wasn’t even sure if it would work! Like please he’s so smart but so many of his plans he doesn’t even know if it would work and for some reason I find that so endearing. Sam is a fucking badass and strong as hell! I can’t go without saying this simply because he’s just a fucking badass - I mean he took on Lucifer and got out of his possession all because he remembered a memory in the iconic ending of season 5! It’s just god Sam is so strong emotionally and physically. It’s just so I get feelings about this. I just love this boy so much! ❤️

2: okay so this is so basic but it does describe him~ welcome to my life by simple plan

Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos

Gasoline by Halsey

Let me down slowly by Alex Benjamin

6: what kind of house doesn’t have salt? Low sodium freaks!

I have no idea what it is but this quote is just something that I love and please it’s so fucking funny 😂 like he’s in the middle of a life or death situation and all he can think of is to be judgmental and just dunk on the people in that house

15: This is so fuckkng hard for me lol especiallt cuz so have 15 seasons worth of content to think about. But anyway I picked a longer line:

I’ve got demon blood in me, Dean. This disease pumping through veins and I can’t ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I’m a whole new level of freak! And I’m just trying to take this this curse ms make something good out if it. Because I have to.

Gos it’s just - it’s just it says so much about what he thinks of himself bht it also says so much about who is he is. He’s just trying to make something good out of something that was/seen as bad and it’s just- it gives me so many feelings.

18: dogs- look Sam loves dogs and of course we have Sam’s iconic puppy eyes in general that he does. Sam was always the dog person and he just loves dogs. He legit ran away from home one time when he was young and adopted a dog. Also of course we have the iconic purple dog shirt that he wears so I associate Sam with dogs. (other rant lol but I’m still pissed that Dean was the one who looked after miracle after they already established that Sam loves dogs)

[especially-heinous-ada]

Special Bonus! Original Part 3

Hey guys! As you may have read in my previous fic posts, my laptop stopped working the day I finished writing parts three and four of my fic, A Police Gala. I was afraid it would be permanent and I had lost the work forever. As a result, I re-wrote Part 3 and 4, but I was so in love with my originals that neither felt as good re-written. However, because my boyfriend is a wonderful, amazing person, he was able to fix my laptop, and I now have regained my original fics! So as a special bonus while you wait for Part 5, I present the original Part 3!  Let me know which version you prefer in the comments.

(photo is of the reader’s TV room) royalty free image found at https://www.pexels.com/photo/apartment-ceiling-chair-decoration-276653/

Rafael strode down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace. He was in no hurry to return home to his empty apartment after spending the better half of his night with such pleasant company. For a moment, he contemplated stopping for a nightcap, but decided against it, as he was soaked to the bone. His sopping-wet suit clung to his skin in an unpleasant manner as he walked and he cursed the cab driver under his breath. Luckily, it was a short trip from your apartment to his. He found it an amusing twist of fate. You lived so close to him, you were both involved in the law enforcement world, and yet, the two of you had no idea the other existed until now.

Once Rafael was under the building’s awning, he retracted the umbrella and gave it a hearty shake to slough off the rain before bringing it inside. He entered the building and nodded to the doorman.

“Good evening, Giles.”

“Good evening, Mr. Barba. Have a rough night?” Giles smiled, with a jovial twinkle in his eye.

“Actually, it was lovely. Until this, of course.” Rafael motioned to his entire body. “But it…perked up again at the end.” Giles nodded. The older man seemed to mull Rafael’s words over in his head.

“Take care not to catch cold.” He offered, before looking back out toward the street. Based on his expression, Rafael thought Giles might have inquired further about the events of his night, but he didn’t. He found himself wondering why. Though, he supposed he, himself, was probably to blame for that. Although Giles was a kind man and Rafael enjoyed the occasional conversation, it was rare that he had enough time to spare more than a line or two. He was always in a rush in the morning and upon the brink of exhaustion once he returned home.

Rafael stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. It was divided into two large suites—his, and that of an eccentric young tech guru. He had seen his new neighbor a few times, but they never interacted beyond a nod of acknowledgement. That was fine with him. He suspected they had nothing in common, anyway. The elevator dinged and the door opened to a hallway packed with people. Rafael groaned. Not another party. As soon as he exited the elevator, people from the hallway packed it full. He approached his door and unlocked it, wasting no time slipping inside. He placed his umbrella in its holder by the door and kicked off his shoes on the mat, too tired to take care of them properly. He sighed and crossed over toward his bedroom, wanting desperately to change into something dry and warm.

Entering his bedroom, Rafael quickly strips off the wet, heavy suit pieces and hangs them over a rack to dry. He sighs, wondering if he should even bother picking out pajamas to wear as he swaps his underwear for a dry pair. He decides it isn’t worth the trouble and slips underneath the covers of his bed. He stares up at the ceiling. Although he’s tired, his mind won’t stop racing. He’s thinking of your singing voice. Your dainty hand inside of his. The warmth exuding from your body as he stood close. The sweet nectar of your perfume commanding him to drink you in and never leave. The softness of your skin as his lips brushed against it…

Abruptly, Rafael sits up and throws the covers off of himself. He crosses the room back to where he hung up his suit. He reached inside his breast pocket to retrieve the piece of paper you had given him, wanting to store your number in his phone before he forgot. He felt the paper between his fingers and slid it out of the pocket carefully, to avoid ripping it. A frown crossed his face when he laid eyes on it. The ink had smeared and the phone number was no longer legible.

He began to laugh, unsure of how else to react. He wanted to shout, to cry out in frustration. This was just his luck.

I finally meet someone. She gives me her phone number, tells me to call her. I agree to…then I lose her phone number.

Rafael contemplated whether he might be destined to be alone forever as he sat down on his bed, feeling defeated. He had no idea how else he was going to get ahold of you, and he didn’t dare show up outside your building like a stalker. That was a sure-fire way to guarantee you filed for a restraining order. He contemplated the ways he might get ahold of you as he climbed back underneath the covers, but he knew that rich people like their privacy, making it very difficult to contact them directly. He groaned and laid down with a flop as he thought of what he was more than likely going to miss out on. God, you were fantastic: intelligent, funny, talented, warm, down-to-earth, intriguing, and incredibly sexy.

Rafael’s mind turned back to the pictures from your lingerie photoshoot and he found himself getting aroused. The combination of emotional and sexual frustration built up inside him. At least he could fix one of those problems tonight, he thought as he slid one hand down underneath the covers.

***

You let out a big sigh. Your breathing is still a bit jagged and your heartrate, accelerated. You chuckle, putting an arm over your face to hide it, as if someone were there watching.

“Rafael Barba, what are you doing to me?” you say to yourself before removing the arm to stare up at the ceiling. It had been three days and you hadn’t heard a peep from him. You even went to another charity event tonight, in hopes that he would be there. He wasn’t.

Your mind returns to the other night. The dance floor. You relive the feeling of his hands holding yours, dwarfing them in comparison. They’re big, vascular hands with thick fingers that just scream I am a man. Your memory flashes forward to those same hands cupping your jaw delicately, making you feel so tiny. His face so close to yours that you can see every detail of it, but you’re focused on his eyes…then his lips.

“Gah!” You let out a shout of frustration. He was driving you crazy. You thought that maybe after you had some release, you could get him out of your head, but to no avail. Neither your hands nor your toys were enough to satiate you when you thought of him—and you couldn’t stop thinking of him. You turned onto your side and looked over at your bedside table. The clock read 12:00 A.M.

With another big sigh, you rolled out of bed and made your way straight into the kitchen. Whistling a haphazard tune, you grabbed a fresh bottle of wine from the wine cooler and fished the corkscrew out of a nearby drawer. You opened the bottle, threw the corkscrew in the sink and walked off into the living room, drinking straight from the bottle.

“Ahh, that’s better,” you think aloud, sinking down onto your white leather couch. You take another drink as you turn on the television. If a little on-on-one time can’t chase away the thought of him, maybe wine and late night television will.

“And in other news, the ‘Date Night Ripper’ of Manhattan has been brought to justice. Today, he was found guilty on 12 counts, including rape, murder and mutilation of a corpse—”

“Sick son of a bitch.” You said, shaking your head.

“Following the verdict earlier today, the prosecutor had this to say.”

Suddenly, the live feed from the news station cut to pre-filmed footage from outside the courthouse. The caption stated that it was from earlier in the day. Descending the courthouse stairs was none other than Rafael Barba. You groaned. A reporter called out to him, and he stopped to answer their question. He talked about how the jury made the right decision and how the people of New York could sleep a little easier tonight knowing the killer was off the streets, followed by some generic fluff about justice.

It was a pretty typical statement from an A.D.A., but it was the only typical thing about him in that footage. He wore a stylish black suit with a peach, checked dress shirt and matching baby blue tie and pocket square. You were impressed by the fact that he dressed himself so fashionably. His hair was perfectly coiffed and his jawline was more structured than the five-year-plan your financial advisor had explained to you this morning in explicit detail.  You let out a strangled groan. This had to end. Now. You took a large gulp of wine and stood off the couch, moving over to your entryway, where you had left your phone in your hurry to get to the bedroom. You kept drinking as you scrolled through your contacts, looking for someone tolerable enough to call to handle the situation for you, because you clearly couldn’t do it on your own.

“Damian. I miss you.” You purr, when the handsome man answers your call. “How soon can you be here?”

20 minutes was all it took and Damian was outside the door of your penthouse suite. You invited him in and wasted no time getting right down to business. You pulled him into your room and stripped down to nothing. Laying down on the bed, you pulled him on top of you. You moaned quietly as Damian kissed you and leaned into you, positioning himself between your legs.

Damian was a model you had worked with in the past. Neither of you expressed interest in a relationship, as he wasn’t exactly the type to settle down with, but when the nights were long and lonely, you could count on him to keep you company. Though you didn’t exactly need the stimulation; right now, you needed a distraction from Rafael. It was dangerous how quickly he’d taken up space in your mind. Damian kissed and licked his way down your body, stopping to suck on the tender flesh of your inner thigh. He moved up and let out a hot breath onto your renewed arousal before grasping your hip and taking you into his mouth.

You groaned at the stimulation, threading your fingers through his hair. Suddenly, your brain flashed a vision of Rafael’s perfectly coiffed hair on your TV screen and you imagined what it would be like to grip it as he put his head between your legs. The thought deepened your arousal.

No. You’re supposed to be taking your mind off him. You remind yourself. He’s a prosecuting attorney. He’s made it clear he’s too busy for relationships. There’s no way it would work out. That night was a one-time thing. A fantasy.

You let out a little gasp as Damian changed his rhythm, quickening a bit. Yes. Damian. Focus on him. He was rather good with his mouth. You had to admit, this was your favorite part of your encounters with Damian.

 He looked up and grinned at you as he started to use his fingers to tease you. It was a cocky, one-sided grin that you’d seen before—on Rafael’s face. You growled in frustration and Damian mis-read it as arousal.

“Ay, mami. You’ve never made that noise for me before.” Now doubly annoyed, you put your hand on the back of his head and direct him back to your center. You needed to come. Now. He gladly resumes his position and continues where he left off.

“Rafael Barba, A.D.A., Manhattan.”

You felt your frustration bubble up.

“Would you like to dance?”

Damian quickened his pace and you feel the familiar pressure build inside you.

“It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”

       Asshole.

“I’ll call you soon, if that’s still alright with you?”

       Liar.

 You let out a loud moan as you feel yourself near climax.

“That’s it mami, come for me.” Damian says. “Come for me.” After a few moments of resisting, you give in and let the waves rush over you. You panted and moaned and muttered things, but as you come down from your high, you don’t care enough to know what you said.

You scoot away from Damian, who sits up on his feet and looks at you with a confused look.

“Who’s Rafael?”

“What?” You reply, bewildered.

“When you came, you didn’t say my name, you said Rafael. So who is Rafael, and why is he not here instead of me?” He answers. You can tell he’s pissed off. Not that you could blame him, after you said another man’s name.

“Did I really say that?” You ask in disbelief. He sighs.

“I know I’m not exactly your boyfriend, but it’s awfully messed up to fuck someone when you’re wishing it was someone else.”

“I’m sorry, Damian.” You apologize, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You should probably go home. Sorry for wasting your time. You didn’t even get a chance to get naked. I’ll pay for your cab fare.” He shakes his head.

“It’s fine.” He thinks about it for a moment. “Actually, can I have the rest of that wine?” He motions to the open bottle on your bedside table. You laugh and agree. He downs a large gulp before looking at you once again.

“Good luck with this Rafael dude,” he says as he stands up and walks toward the door.

“Thanks.” You say. “I’ll need it.” The last part you mumble to yourself as Damian disappears and you hear your front door shut behind him.

You wake the next morning and resolve that something has to be done about Rafael Barba. You can’t spend the rest of your life obsessing over a man you spent one night dancing with and didn’t even fuck. You weren’t sure what would come of you contacting him, but you knew that you needed closure, whatever that happened to be. He was an attorney, so you knew that the only place you were sure to find him was work. Luckily, you were familiar with the DA’s office. You had toured it previously as a potential donor for the DA’s re-election campaign.

 You sighed, glancing at your phone to get ready for the day. No missed calls or texts. You took your time picking your outfit, styling your hair, and applying your makeup. He needed to see what he’d been missing for the better half of a week. When you were finally ready, you picked up your phone and your purse and walked out the door like a woman on a mission. Dressed to kill and armed with charm—Rafael Barba wouldn’t know what hit him, you smirked.

[lizzybeth1986]

Music Ask - Queen Edition

@callmetippytumbles tagged me on this, stating that she was sure there would be a Queen song for every question on this ask. Well Ima prove her right! 😂

So since they’re all going to be Queen (unless otherwise specified), I’m going to replace band name with album name instead.

1: A song you like with a color in the title:

🎶 White Man🎶 from A Day At The Races

“What is left of your dream?

Just the words on your stone

A man who learned how to teach

Then forgot how to learn"

Part of me loves this song, but part of me is also is uneasy about it. The song is supposed to be from the PoV of an unspecified Native American tribe, speaking of how colonization has destroyed everything they have stood and lived for - but it’s written by a British white man, Brian May - and we have no idea whether he consulted a Native American for this or not. If he hadn’t, or hadn’t gotten consent, it would be him speaking in the voice of the oppressed while still holding the privilege of being White…and that’s a little disturbing. I love the song, and Brian May is my favourite Queen member, but I can’t ignore that this song has problems.

2: A song you like with a number in the title

🎶'39🎶 from A Night At The Opera

For the earth is old and grey, little darling we’ll away

But my love this cannot be

For so many years have gone though I’m older but a year

Your mother’s eyes from your eyes cry to me.

Besides being an ace guitarist, Brian May is also an Astrophysicist with a Doctorate!! xD And this song really shows us his background in that area: it’s fashioned in the song tradition of a sea shanty, but is about outer space and time relativity. I called this "the plot of Interstellar, 39 years before Interstellar”.

3: A song that reminds you of summertime:

🎶Seaside Rendezvous🎶 from A Night At The Opera

One of Queen’s few vaudeville tracks xD

4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about:

Thankfully I got into Queen loooong after I broke up with my ex. BUT “More than Words” by Extreme and Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” hit very particular sore spots coz he dedicated them to me AFTER dedicating them to a girl he always had a thing for (long story gah).

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD:

🎶March of the Black Queen🎶 from Queen II

6: A song that makes want to dance:

🎶Don’t Stop Me Now🎶 from The Game

This one was the very first Queen song I actually listened to, and every time I hear it I wind up doing Hana’s happy dance in my seat 😂

7: A song to drive to:

HAHA there are two! One by Roger Taylor and the other from Brian’s first solo album:

🎶I’m In Love With My Car🎶 from A Night At The Opera

This is a song by Roger Taylor, and it’s not really his best (he’s capable of far superior tracks: Tenement Funster, Radio Gaga, These Are The Days of Our Lives, Small), but it garnered a lot of money and royalties by virtue of being the B-Side of Bohemian Rhapsody.

🎶Driven by You🎶 from Back to the Light

This song ended up being used as a theme for commercials for Ford cars in the early nineties, as I recall.

8: A song about drugs or alcohol:

Drugs: 🎶Don’t Stop Me Now🎶 from The Game

I mean, just listen to some of the lyrics! “Floating around in ecstasy”? “Tiger leaping through the sky defying the laws of gravity”? “Travelling at the speed of light”? I personally think the songs about a whole lot more, but you can’t deny the narrator sounds very trippy lol.

Alcohol: 🎶Killer Queen🎶 from Sheer Heart Attack

She keeps Moet et Chandon in a pretty cabinet

Let them eat cake, she says, just like Marie Antoinette…

Not about alcohol really, but it does mention it.

9: A song that makes you happy:

🎶You’re My Best Friend🎶 from A Night At The Opera

So John Deacon wrote this lovely sweet song for his wife, and it’s got the most adorable lyrics ever.

Ooh I’ve been wandering round

But I still come back to you

In rain or shine

You’ve stood by me girl

I’m happy at home

You’re my best friend

10: A song that makes you sad:

🎶Mother Love🎶 from Made in Heaven.

This is spoken of as being the last song Freddie ever recorded before he died, and his vocals are OFF-THE-ROOF powerful here. Two verses are sung by Freddie, and the last is sung by Brian May, who co-wrote the song (because Freddie felt too worn and weak and tired to continue recording, and told Brian he would return and do the rest. He never did). To hear Brian complete the song because Freddie has gone…is quite heartbreaking, actually. I’d definitely recommend everyone listen to this gem.

11: A song that you never get tired of:

🎶Teo Torriatte🎶 from A Day at the Races.

What I love about Queen is how appreciative they are of their overseas fans, esp those who loved them at the very start of their career. Way before Bohemian Rhapsody placed Queen on the map, they had a very devoted fanbase in Japan, and I believe this song was written specially for them. It also appeals to me as a super mushy romantic xD

12: A song from your preteen years:

EVERYTHING PRECEEDS MY PRETEEN YEARS. Okay but definitely this one we heard a lot:

🎶We are the Champions🎶 from News of the World

13: One of your favorite 80’s songs:

🎶Who Wants To Live Forever🎶 from A Kind of Magic

Another Brian May gem. I tend to associate this a lot with my Liam MC, Esther - esp for most of Book 2. It’s a beautiful track and was used as part of the Highlander movie OST.

14: A song that you would love played at your wedding:

We never had wedding dances at our weddings, and Queen is usually not wedding material haha but here’s some songs that would go well!

🎶You’re My Best Friend🎶 from A Night At The Opera

🎶Teo Torriatte🎶 from A Day At The Races

🎶Bijou🎶 from Innuendo

Bijou is very interesting because it was structured as an “inside-out” version of the usual song - there would be instrumental (guitar, in this case) where lyrics would be and lyrics where you would typically find a guitar solo. Haunting.

15: A song that is a cover by another artist:

🎶Goin’ Back🎶 by Larry Lurex

This was the first ever recording we have of Freddie Mercury, under the name of Larry Lurex. The original was written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin. A sampling of it is used at the very end of Mother Love, as a way of rewinding to the beginning…a symbolic goodbye to Freddie by going back to the first words that sparked his career.

Damn. I’m emotional now. 😭😭

16: One of your favorite classic songs:

Most people would go for 🎶Bohemian Rhapsody🎶 - and for good reason - but I think 🎶Prophet’s Song🎶 from the same album is equally deserving of this. It’s beautiful, has a lot of echoes that make it surreal and ethereal to me, and very power-packed vocals and lyrics.

17: A song that you’d sing a duet to on karaoke:

🎶Love of My Life🎶 from A Night At The Opera.

The fun thing about any Queen concert is that the audience has always been as much participant as spectator. LoML is one of the few ballads that the band used to interact with the audience, who were always ready to sing along. Freddie started this tradition in his live concerts, and Brian carried it on when he and Roger went back to touring as Queen +. To this day, you will always find a Queen audience being as involved in this song as the people on stage. It’s beautiful to watch. No Queen concert is complete without the audience crooning this ballad.

18: A song from the year that you were born:

🎶A Kind of Magic🎶 from the album of the same name (released 1986)

19: A song that makes you think about life:

🎶A Winter’s Tale🎶 from Made in Heaven

This happens to be one of Freddie’s last written compositions, and it’s unbelievably beautiful and dreamy. He had very few months left to live when he wrote this gem of a song, and there’s so much joy and hope and tranquility in it, and the moment you listen you will inevitably feel a sense of peace washing over you. I can imagine sitting by a lake alone in Switzerland, looking out at the sky and the snow, just listening to the song and basking in all it has to offer.

🎶Miracle🎶 from The Miracle

This is also a very hope-filled song, composed by Freddie shortly after he was diagnosed and told he had very little time left. It’s a very idealistic view of the world, but yeah I really like this one too. Just not as much as I like A Winter’s Tale. 😂

20: A song that has many meanings to you:

🎶White Queen (As It Began)🎶 from Queen II

On one level it’s about a girl who cannot see and the boy who loves her. On another I feel like it can also be about the sadness of unrequited love in general, and of an almost-relationship.

21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title:

🎶Delilah🎶 from Innuendo

This song was about Freddie’s cat. It’s fun xD

22: A song that moves you forward:

🎶Death On Two Legs🎶 from A Night At the Opera

I can be a spectacularly petty bitch sometimes, and this number can be so vicious it satisfies those vengeful, bitchy parts of me lol. A lot of the lines in this song are particularly cutting, and it should be because it was written for someone who was fleecing the band dry in their early days.

23: A song that you think everybody should listen to:

🎶Track 13/Untitled🎶 from Made in Heaven.

Most people might be put off by this track because it’s 22:33 whopping minutes long, and it’s an endless loop of sounds but OMG is it trippy. Mostly a lot of synthetic, loops, Freddie saying words, and this overall ethereal, otherworldly vibe. Most Queen fans interpret this piece as a depiction of Freddie’s journey to heaven, and call it “Ascension”. Kind of like a requiem, a fitting goodbye to Freddie. I can see why. I mean I can always lie down, close my eyes and immerse myself in the tranquility of this track. All 22.33 minutes of it. It’s a strange recommendation, but in my mind a fitting one.

24: A song by a band/group you wish were still together:

🎶The Show Must Go On🎶 from Innuendo.

Queen aren’t together because their frontman passed away, not entirely out of choice 😟 (okay and John Deacon didn’t want to be involved anymore later on). This was written and composed by Brian May, but Freddie really makes this song his own in the singing. The way he hits some of those notes - at that stage in his life - is spine tingling.

25: A song by an artist no longer living:

🎶Lily of the Valley🎶, written by Freddie Mercury from Sheer Heart Attack.

[whatdoyouexpectthistime]

Her Love In The Zombie Apocalypse: Goodbye Goto

Author’s Note: This is the result of a dream I had, and I am absolutely unapologetic for dropping the Instructors in a zombie ridden Tokyo. Who knows... maybe this won’t just be a oneshot?

Happiness doesn’t last, does it?

In the perfect world, we grow to be strong, learn to believe in ourselves and to have the courage of our convictions, and finally meet someone with whom we can be that person – in both strength and weakness.

When you find that person, don’t let the small, the insignificant things come between you.

Embrace.

Embrace your differences and each other and don’t let go. Fight hard and with everything you’ve got.

Because you never truly know when the dream will end.

Panting and laboured beneath the weight of my backpack, I struggle to keep pace. Kaga and Soma are already pulling aside our barricade at the east end of the academy, while Shinonome and Ishigami stand alert for approaching threats.

At my side – always at my side – Seiji remains in step.

His face is smeared with the horror of his narrow escape, much like the rest of us.

But one of us fell, one of us didn’t really escape at all, the others just don’t know it yet.

Seiji doesn’t know it yet.

“Get the hell in here!” Kaga barks, but his curt urgency is no exaggeration now.

The threat is real, however disbelieving we were at the beginning, the truth has well and truly sunk in.

“Christ,” he huffs as Seiji and I pass him, and he and Soma begin to reassemble the barricade protecting our fortress home. “Could you possibly find a smaller pack?”

“Screw you,” I gasp, stumbling into the foyer and sliding the bag from my aching shoulders.

It hits the floor with a heavy clunk, the cans within part of the bounty we’d retrieved from several convenience stores much further from the academy than we have ever venture since the incident. Those closest to the academy have already been stripped bear, and it was the necessity to eat, and to provide for those who also shelter with us, that prompted a much more dangerous run to distant sources.

Roaring in my ears, my pulse refuses to slow, and Seiji looks me over with worry.

“Are you all right?” he asks quietly, leaning against the wall beside me, peering at me with those gunmetal eyes haunted by deep concern.

“Mm,” I nod, giving him a weary smile.

Anything to ease his troubles.

Anything to lighten this heart I love.

Anything to protect it from breaking.

But I can’t.

“That was intense,” I add, as Ishigami joins us.

“Everyone okay?” he asks, the blandness of his expression a stark contrast to the dangle of gore hanging from the left side of his glasses.

“Yeah,” Seiji confirms, and I nod also.

Liar.

But they take my word for it, this trust is what has kept us alive this long.

There are untold numbers of dead in Tokyo, some permanently, some now roaming, shambling, looking for prey – because it all happened so quickly, and people didn’t know how fast the infection spread, how virulent it was.

We still don’t know how it started. Even law enforcement was woefully unprepared, and communication came too slow, too late.

“Let’s get this stuff to storage,” Seiji prompted, shouldering his pack, before collecting mine.

“I’m not completely useless,” I argue, but I’m playful in my scorn.

Oh how many small things has Seiji done for me? When was the exact moment his selflessness won over my heart? I have no doubt, he would gladly give his life in exchange for mine – but this time, he can’t.

 When twilight drifts, everyone goes to their posts. We check our defences, reinforce each barricade, look for weaknesses and plug them, and check night-watch rosters.

Glancing down the list I note who is meant to be at each guard position. It looks as if I’m just doing my job, but in reality I need to know who is where for a very different reason.

Shivering, I pull my jacket more closely around me, and eventually meet up with Seiji in our room.

Our room.

It was going to be a little house, with a yard big enough for a dog and a small vegetable patch. That was our shared dream.

Now, he is all that I have left of that dream, and…

“You look tired,” he tells me, gently taking my face between broad palms. “You’re cold.”

“It’s a clear night,” I point out, leaning into his touch, trying to memorise the sensation. “It’s freezing out.”

“Well, it was a long day,” he smiles, carefully sliding his fingers into my hair and running them all the way to the tips. “Early night?”

“Gladly,” I exhale, hoping he can’t tell I’m gritting my teeth behind this smile.

He doesn’t know I organised a pack of bare essentials while he was showering, and hid it from sight. He’s treating me like he always has – the centre of his world.

Mouth dry, maybe from the gathering nervousness of what I must do, or maybe… I can’t tell if the jackhammer pounding against the inside of my skull is part of my transition, or the spread of guilt and grief and emotional pain so potent it’s a wonder I can stand, let alone smile like nothing is wrong.

And everything is wrong, because the throb in my forearm, hidden by the long sleeves of my flannel pajamas, is a harbinger of my imminent death, and horrifying resurrection.

And I can’t be here when that happens.

Just the same, I snuggle under the blankets, and as Seiji is reaching over to turn off the lamp, I wrap my uninjured arm around him, and press myself mercilessly against his back.

I want to feel the imprint of his body against mine, my fingers, my hands, I want to remember every taut undulation of his chest, and the steady rhythm of his breath.

“Your hands are still icy,” he grumbles, but hugs my forearm tightly.

And I pray he doesn’t hear my breath catch and stick in my throat, or feel the desperation to withhold a sob in the tension of my muscles.

“You always warm me up,” I whisper, hardly a breath at all, and he gives my hand a squeeze.

Nothing in the world would give me greater peace, than to remain here – but if I stay, even until morning… I might truly destroy him. Instead, I listen to the sounds of him, inhale the scent of him, until he falls asleep.

And then I have to exercise the absolute, utmost of my willpower to separate – softly so as not to wake him, when all I really want is for him to wake suddenly, grab me, pull me down and wrap himself around me.

I am my own person, but I would gladly let him consume me like tht.

Cautiously I cover him back up, but the slight motion of Seiji’s head causes his fringe to flop over his closed eyelids.

So innocent.

And yet so fierce in my defence – and this is why I have to go.

He would make excuses, drag it out, maybe even beg me to stay even while knowing my fate is a foregone conclusion.

Go. GO! You have to go. For his sake.

As quietly as I can, I retrieve my backpack. There is hardly anything in it, because let’s face it, I’m not going to be needing human supplies for much longer.

Then there is the letter.

Saying goodbye, face to face, seeing him break… I can’t. And it’s not arrogance to think he will, because his heart and mine are one and mine…

… is being torn apart.

On the pillow, still fresh with the impression of my head, I leave my final missive to him, and bite down so hard on my lower lip, it bleeds. These feet won’t move but they have to.

Go.

My insides are hollowed out, a gaping, weeping wound very nearly prompting a sob when in my retreat from out room I spy Domo-kun.

It’s so stupid that Domo-kun should symbolise our love somehow, but for some reason that gift to me left a lasting impression. And even in the chaos, he stayed with us as a constant.

“Goodbye Domo-kun,” I whisper, slipping out into the hall and closing the door on all I ever wanted.

BONUS:

 “Cold,” Goto murmured, rolling over and groping across the bed for his favourite source of warmth.

It was not so jarring an awakening, for he didn’t yet know the truth. His wife could be any number of places by far more obvious than having snuck out in the night to meet her grizzly fate.

So he clutched at the blankets and tucked them under his chin, and in doing so disturbed the piece of paper beside him.

Rubbing his eyes with the back of one hand, he plucked the missive from the pillow and unfolded it.

And dread began to form, dread that turn swiftly into a panic without description.

(Author/Narrator’s note: I blame @nitelotus​ for the following recording, after she made fun of me for crying as I wrote this. At least I don’t charge stupid amounts for voiced stories right?)

-Click to LISTEN to her letter-

My dearest Seiji,

We said, till death do us part – but, I’m not sure where undeath fits into that.

I am sorry.

I made a mistake and now… the cost of it must be paid. And this is the one time you can’t save me, no matter how many times I call you name, the enemy now inside me cannot be defeated.

You will be angry that I didn’t tell you, that I didn’t… give you a chance to say goodbye, but leaving like this is the lesser of two terrible evils.

I will turn, it’s inevitable, and I don’t want your last memory of me to be as a monster.

Please remember the brush of my fingertips against your forehead.

Please remember the warmth of my body curled against yours.

Please, remember the passionate heat, and the bliss of our every union.

And let me save you this time – let me stand, even at this distance, between you and having to see me as anything other than the woman you took to be your wife.

That woman will soon be consumed, but until the very end I will fix you in my mind and heart, grip you relentlessly, because you have taught me what it means to be loved so unconditionally, so completely; I will not be afraid.

Loving you, and being loved by you, has been a privilege I’m not sure I ever really deserved, but you have been the absolute, the most precious gift I ever received.

I love you.

Your dearest wife.

 The bed beside him was cold.

When in the night had she left him?

He knew she was gone but could not control his panic. It exploded inside him, could not be contained, and it drove him from their room in his pinstriped pajamas. With abandon he threw himself down the corridor, blind almost but for a target in the distance he had no way of seeing.

Morning greeted him with a slap of winter, but Goto struggled through the haze of his desperate breaths lingering in the air, and staggered like a drunkard to the outer most manned position.

“Did you see her?!” he shouted.

“Lieutenant?” the young man queried, looking very confused.

“My wife!” Goto gasped. “Did you see her? Did she leave this way?”

But the pair stationed there could tell him nothing, nor could any of the other outer guards, and finally, her last words to him clutched in his bloodless fist, he sat, in the dirt, trembling.

Why couldn’t he see her face? Why could he only see the back of her, her retreating figure moving with laboured steps through the undead who paid her no mind?

Losing her was… there were simply no words, but to know she had gone alone with such pain in her heart was a wound to him like no other.

 And all he could do was sit, and stare off into the distance.

[riverdamien]

Peniel, Newsletter Temenos Catholic Worker, Lent

Peniel "Where Jacob wrestled with God!" Newsletter of Temenos Catholic Workier P.O. Box 642656 San Francisco, CA 94164 Fr. River Sims, Director www.temenos.org 415-305-2124 Lent, 2020 ----------------------------------------------- Journal of An Alien Street Priest: One of my fondest memories is listening to the church bells in Amsterdam, especially late at night, as one wandered the streets. They rang with hymns every four hours, a reminder of God's presence. Each day as we awoke we were reminded of God's presence being with us during the day, and in our final moments before sleep they put us to sleep with the assurance God was with us. In the day time as we wandered in and out of the cathedrals one would find tourist shops, and museums--they were simply shells of a faith long past. The institutional church is becoming a shell of what it once was: severe decline in membership and worship attendance, under law suit and judgement by society over all, what once was, is now in decline. The "none"s, those who have no membership are now the majority. On Ash Wednesday, February 26, many of us will receive the mark of the ashes reminding us that we are mortal, and that Jesus is our Savior. Hearing the words, "Remember O man, you are dust, and to dust you shall return," is a chilling reminder of our mortality, and frees us from the prison of perfection, and the judgment of others, and is a call to accept our own wrong doings. When we are naked before our Creator we begin to understand the salvation that Jesus offers us with his love. In Mark's Gospel, as the food was gathered up after the feeding of the five thousand we read: "They picked up the fragments left over--. . ." reminding us of the extraordinary ability of Jesus to multiply and make limitless what seems, at the moment, limited; teaching that when we feel we are worthless, mere crumbs in the eyes of the world, God sees something more. Muriel Lester observes, "We should stop praying the Lord's Prayer until we can see that we are tied to the same living tether not only with our fellow countrymen and people of the same faith, but with everybody on the planet." Rather than hold on to what was, we should walk into what is, and into the future, striving to be the Beloved Community, recognizing Christ is Universal, and is Cosmic, reflecting all faith expressions, calling us into caring for every creature on earth. In so doing every fragment is a treasure. Every piece has value. And God want let any of it be tossed aside. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God! --------------------------------------------------------- Ash Wednesday--February 26, 2020 On Ash Wednesday we will walk Polk Street and Haight Street, sharing food, fellowship, and offering ashes. We will begin at 3:00 p.m. in the Haight, and continue at 9:00 p.m, on Polk. If any one is interested please call at 415-305-2124. We will be taking our time. So there are no time limits. ------------------------------------------------------------ Lenten Reflection 2020: Repenting of Ecological Sin and Cultivating Ecological Virtues: In the recent Roman Catholic Synod on the Amazon, ecological sin was defined "as an action or omission against God, against one's neighbor, the community and the environment." The seven deadly sins (pride, greed, lust, wrath, gluttony, envy, sloth) can be away where we have turned away from our Creator and creation. Through Lent--each week-on Facebook, and our website--we will examine each of these sins through the lens of creation and is paired with an ecological virtue that can help us restore our relationships and to live in sublime communion. We invite you to reflect with us on each one of these sins during this time. We would love to discuss your feelings and reflection on each one. Our preference is for you to call us, where we can personally interact, but as always email, face book, snap chat, and text are available any time. ----------------------------------------------------------- Holy Thursday, April 9, 2020: We will begin at 3:00 p.m. blessing sandwiches and chips, as elements of the Eucharist, and than walk through the Haight, visiting, and sharing. We will follow the same process on Polk at 9:00 p.m. Any one is welcome but simply know there is no time limit, and our focus is on our celebration. ------------------------------------------------------------ Good Friday, April 10, 2020--12 Noon-until 2:00 p.m. Nineteen Annual Tenderloin Stations of the Cross "Small Pebbles" Each of our acts is a small pebble that has consequences through out eternity. Beginning at Polk side City Hall If you would like to read a Station please contact us at 415-305-2124 This is a witness to Christ being crucified in front of us in the people on the streets, those who are struggling to keep their housing, and keep food on the table. We are not about numbers, but a witness. ---------------------------------------------------------- Easter Sunday, April 12, 2020--Service of Holy Communion Golden Gate Park 9:00 a.m. We will take anyone in attendance or who is around out for breakfast afterward. ---------------------------------------------------------- WE ARE BEGGARS: We are begging for money, we depend on your gifts to support our ministry. We are a 501 c.3, non-profit. Our needs have increased--we give a thousand pairs of socks a week, feed, and provide pastoral care. With the increase in our beloved on the street our funds are low. Personally I will begin working with the Census in order to raise extra money, so if you can give, please do so. Temenos Catholic Worker P.O. Box 642656 San Francisco, CA 94164 www.temenos.org 415-305-2124 ---------------------------------------------------------- Our thanks to the Reverend Gregory Weeks for being our editor on the Good Friday Service. Our thanks to Bill and Dina Tieje for the donation of our van. ----------------------------------------------------------- May the Lord bless you and keep you! May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and may the Lord make his countenance shine on you and grant you peace!Amen. Thank you, River+