#but i fall victim to the internet all the same

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

sometimes I really do think we hit peak technology like twenty years ago and we're just doing stupid shit now. Like bro, we fit entire movies and albums onto a plastic disc that our tv or music player just like eats and then we can listen or watch at home as many times as we want? Awesome. That's lit. Literally perfect. But now shit is just like being beamed to us through the air but we still have to pay for it for some reason? and then sometimes even when we do pay for it we don't get to even keep it? and the quality sometimes sucks ass? and also like ai and the internet are lowkey evil? yeah no thanks. I'll take the plastic discs. Those were pretty awesome.

[tiredbitchposts]

Look, i know that Shen Yuan died a virgin and while he had no sexual experience he canonly kissed before getting with Luo Binghe, but do y'all know what would be hysterical in my opinion? If Shen Yuan had a gaggle of ex girlfriends he left behind when he died. Now, you may be wondering, what's so hysterical about that? Well, for one, it just tinkles me pink to think that the same guy who indirectly died from how angry a webnovel he dedicated a great amount of time commenting on made him actually got/could get bitches but decided that verbally abusing Airplane over his shit writting sounded more fun. I also think that knowing the system he'd at some point fall victim to some type of plant or curse that'd force him to name all of his ex lovers out loud unless he wished to die while the rest of the sect watches. Can y'all imagine Yue QingYuan, Luo Binghe, Liu Qingge and fucking Airplane's faces while he's there naming "Yu YaoYao, Mei Ling, Jiang Qin, Fei Liao" plus who else with a pained look on his face while trying to guess if middle school and internet relationships also count??? Plus, i just know he rationalized any lack of sexual thoughts he had towards his exes with "Well, i can't think sexually of a woman who's not my wife, that'd be disrespectful"

[thewritingfairy]

Hear me out!

What if Jason had a partner or a friend who is so dear to him. Someone who understands him and is there for him but also puts him back in place when his straight up being an asshole.

Imagine someone break something important to that person and their anger and rage remind him so much of the reader's anger at him.

And the worst part? The one who broke that thing didn't mean it when they apologized. Just like how he didn't mean it when he apologized to the reader.

That happened to me once where I wronged someone but didn't truly feel the damage I caused till the same thing happened to a loved one of mine.

I apologized again to that person. This time sincerely and not just out of politeness. They didn't forgive me for a long time and I respected that.

Related fic: 04.1 Jason's crime

Now this might sound rude, but this version of Jason would never get a partner. The people he falls for are empathetic, lively and family-oriented. I imagine he falls for the jaded yet kind person that while they have such an angry face (to an extent) they are the kindest person you’ll meet.

The moment a potentional crush finds out about (Name) they leave. They try to get in contact with you, but you purged Name Wayne of the internet. And they don’t know your mother’s maiden name, but just know you’ve got quite a few strangers in your corner. However the idea of Jason going through something he put you through is interesting, but Jason’s attack was aggressive, excessive and most of all violating. Not sexually don’t get me wrong, but your safe place was violated. The only place your family could touch was destroyed.

And the aggressor often feels victimised by not receiving their victims acceptance. The only thing it would do is give Jason some understanding of why you are angry but not why you aren’t forgiving him. Because he had ‘crime lessening’ circumstance, and mainly he feels like you’ve wronged him. So why would he feel guilt?

His process to guilt is slow and dangerous.

[kiefbowl]

There is something revealing here and in other notes of that post. I'm trying to put my finger on it...it's as if there is an acceptance that White Supremacy, while wrong, is a privilege people are allowed to indulge in, and so other people need to endlessly be patient and rehabilitate them. Like it's a White Right, like of course they get to explore their evil legacy a bit, in order to discover it's wrong. And/or that fascism/white supremacy/ideological racism is something anyone could fall "victim" to if they were exposed to the same "magical" radicalization material, and not that people who "fall into" hate groups already have a fundamental world view that is precedent...they start from a place where the natural logical progression is an all powerful ethno-state.

It's also revealing that a hypothetical reformed neo-nazi must needs constant validation and forgiveness lest they fall back. Presumably someone who has exited a hate group like this, truly reformed, would not seek validation, they would have the wherewithal. They would self-actualize, and understand why. But it's revealing isn't, that they can forgive a "nazi phase" because the risk is that they could return to a "nazi phase"...so what are these people imagining they are forgiving? They aren't imagining forgiveness, they are imagining some sort of mutual sycophantic theater where politics is just...the posts you make on the internet I guess. Idk, lots to think of here. I don't think these people have met real creeps, the kind that make your skin prickle. I don't think these people have engaged at any level what neo-nazi material looks like.

[sturnmeovr]

♡‧₊˚ Sweetheart!Reader x Babydaddy!Chris - Gender Reveal ˚₊‧♡

Gender Predictions

The sound of intermixing conversations flowed around the room, family and friends filled each seat at the dining table, all mingling as they finished the last of their dinner. Mary Lou and Jim were too excited for their first grandbaby’s arrival, so they jumped at the chance to host your gender reveal at their house, making sure to have everything put together for the special moment. Of course, they wanted to be surprised with the gender of your baby just like everyone else, so they left the cake decorating up to a local bakery. It was a small group that attended your reveal, less than fifteen people. 

Keeping your pregnancy a secret from the world had been hard the last few months, but you didn’t want your child around any negativity. The internet was a crazy place and neither of you wanted your child to fall victim to that. Since you and Chris were keeping things private, you two agreed to only tell the people you weren’t able to hide it from. 

After everyone finishes their dinner, some leave their plates half finished due to the anticipation boiling in their guts much like it did yours and Chris’. You smooth a hand over your bump, looking to your left to see your mom with a kool aid like smile stretched across her face, “excited, sweetie?” You give her a small, toothless smile, “nervous,” you tell her. You hadn’t been able to shake the feeling all week. Knowing you were about to find out the gender of your baby had your mind spinning and your brain thumping. Your uneasy comment gains Chris’s attention, he looks over at you and places a hand on your thigh, making you turn towards him, “don’t be,” he reassures you once your eyes meet his. 

“If everyone would quiet down, Y/n and Chris are ready to cut their cake,” Mary Lou announces to the party guests. The room falls silent as you and Chris stand at the head of the table, a white heart shaped cake was placed in front of you, the white icing piped the words “It’s a ….” in cursive across the top of it. Each family member and friend watched, smiles and looks of anticipation plastered on their faces, a few with phones in their hands ready to capture the special moment. Butterflies dance around in your stomach and your heart hammers in your chest as Chris hands you a matching wine glass, “ready, baby?”

Your mind runs wild, not letting you push out a reply, instead you press your lips together and nod your head at him. Chris gives you a reassuring smile, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand, your fingers being intertwined the whole time. “Okay, you guys count us down,” he tells the room full of people. The two of you line your glasses side by side along the edge of the cake, looking the opposite way as the both of you press down, cutting thru each layer of classic white cake and mystery icing. Once you can’t push the wine glass down anymore, indicating you were thru all the layers of the beautifully decorated cake, the room starts to count down, “three… two… one!”

You and Chris spin around in unison, both of you lifting your long-stemmed wine glasses at the same to reveal a white and blue striped pattern. You slap a hand over your mouth out of pure shock as everyone seated around the table cheers along with Chris, “I fucking knew it, I'm having a son!” he shouts out, happiness and excitement laced thru his voice as he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you in for a bear hug. Chris squeezes you tight, gently swaying on his feet, rocking the both of you side to side in the process. “A boy!” he exclaims once again before pressing a sloppy kiss to your forehead and placing a hand on your growing bump. You couldn’t help but let a bright smile make its way across your lips, “a boy,” you repeat. Your brain runs rampant at the thought of having a mini Chris running around. If your son was anything like his dad, you knew your heart would melt the day you finally met him, much like it did when you met Chris for the first time. Each day made your pregnancy less surreal for you, your gender reveal being one of the most memorable. You were surrounded by so much love and there was no doubt that once your son was here everything would be complete. He would always feel the same love you felt that day, he’d always be surrounded by people who would do anything for him. Knowing your baby would be taken care of and loved in the place of your absence made tears brim your eyes. You weren’t sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or if you felt that deeply about the people who attended and put your gender reveal together. One thing you could confirm, though - this was the day of your pregnancy by far.

Wc - 851

An - I made this as blurb because I have a fic for them coming soon! Sorry for everyone who wanted a girl 🫣 I feel like every dad!Matt or dad!Chris fic I read, they have daughters. Nothing wrong with that, I love and find so much inspo from other writers babydaddy fics. I just wanted a bit of a change! Don't worry, Mary Lou will get her granddaughter one day 🥹🫶🏻 Anyways, I hope everyone likes it! (sorry I just love this divider sm. I can't stop using it lol)

Babydaddy!Chris Masterlist

Masterlist of all of my works

Ask me questions or give me suggestions about babydaddy!Chris & sweetheart!Reader!

🏷️ - @lvrsturniolo @ribread03 @unknvhx @m11rx @loveparqdise @sweetshuga @emely9274 @frickin-bats @katie-tibo @leila-marie4 @delusional-4-fake-people @shadowthesim @immy08 @trevorsgodmother @watercolorskyy @thepubeburgler @courta13 (went back thru all my works and readded a few tags, sorry tumblr wasn't letting me tag half of my taglist for some reason??)

© All Rights Reserved to m00nl1ghts1vt. Please do not copy my work.

Photo edits and dividers are mine. Feel free to use.

[churchtttt]

Adderall rant:

I see so many tattoo artists that are bummed over not getting work or falling victim to this new wave of tattooing that basically goes against everything they were once taught in an apprenticeship. While I get it and would most likely be pretty annoyed that a bunch of 20 year olds with shitty Amazon tattoo pens are making more money than me, I do wonder if they truly believe they are pushing the boundaries of tattooing in any way shape or form. Because whining on the internet about losing clients to artists that “don’t know how to tattoo” or “cant even pull a line” is getting pretty tired.

Technical skill means NOTHING if you don’t understand composition / negative space / balance / body anatomy / levels / layering / texture / art history / tattoo history / (not to mention taste) etc. All of these rarely ever being a priority in the tattoo community. Because as long as you can pull a clean line or pack some black, you should be making six figures right? There’s so much that goes into what I do / many of my friends do that goes far beyond needle to skin. And while the “fuck it” mentality is heavily prioritized in my work, almost nothing is unintentional. I rely heavily on intuition while most are too scared to allow their natural impulses to take hold strictly because they are using the medium of skin. Fear will always be the death of revolution and clutching to technicalities rarely ever breeds true ground breaking art.

My work has never and will never prioritize longevity. With most of my inspiration coming from southern prison tattoos and religious / ornate works from the renaissance era, I will always aim for my work to share the same decaying texture and transient essence. No matter what, your tattoo is gonna age and look like shit 30 years from now. May as well have it look cool in the mean time.

I don’t do good tattoos, I do cool ones.

[radioisntdead]

I'd like to request Velvette and/or Camilla with an assistant reader who has a crush on them, and one day they get hit in the head and suddenly they can't filter their horny/romantic thoughts about their crush/boss when speaking.

"Yes ma'am, I'll get that to you within the hour. By Lucifer, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal."

"I'll call the supplier right now. I'd forego a week's pay just to get a kiss from you."

Stuff like that. And it just comes out nonchalantly and without rhyme or reason throughout the day.

As much as I love Carmilla Carmine, I gotta go with my favorite Vee, Velvette!!

Brain damaged

Velvette x reader

Warnings: reader is uh, very silly, also reader has glasses for no other reason than the fact I was listening to confessions of a rotten girl with Hatsune Miku while writing the first half so take that as you will, ending is a little rushed because I was about to pass out.

Also this started out as a oneshot but I got stuck in the middle so it kinda faded into headcanons my apologies for the wonky formatting!!! I think this could classify as a drabble+ headcanons??

You were an average sinner, didn't do anything particularly in life to get down here, you went to work and you came home at the end of the day, ate, browsed the Internet and slept.

Nothing special, if you could say there was something that made you stand out from the rest was that you were one of the Vee's, specifically Velvette's assistant, one that's been with her for years and still has yet to be replaced or worse.

Although that may soon change since during your time off you had a horrible accident involving a turf war and long story short you were the lucky victim of a concussion!

You didn't go to the hospital because, while being Velvette's assistant actually gave you great health insurance, you were late because your favorite webcomic finally updated and you were not missing it because of some concussion.

This will be a decision you come to regret because once you returned to work all your inside thoughts became outside thoughts!

Whether you realized that or not.

The first instance of this was you waltzing into work at the crack of dawn, Velvette was a busy woman who valued her beauty sleep, so for her to get that sleep others must sacrifice theirs.

Oddly enough today she was up and about the same as you, so as her assistant you followed her around with your notepad.

This is when the first accident came about.

"Can you believe the nerve of that fucker? Who does he think he is?! What do you think [Name]?"

"I think that if I were to die I'd like it to be by your hands,"

"What."

"What?"

Going from shit talking someone to your assistant to them telling you that they would like to die by your hands was jarring, Velvette immediately sent you off to grab her coffee and you not even realizing what you had said just skipped away to grab her coffee.

Maybe this was a once-off incident, maybe she had misheard you in her precaffeinated state.

It was NOT.

You handed her files? "Here are your files Miss Velvette," "Great, anything else?" "I'd like to bury my face in your chest but other than that no, I'll take my leave now."

Honestly that should've gotten you reported to HR but the Vee's don't really have an HR department, it's actually just five Niffty size sinners in a trenchcoat.

You accidentally brushed hands? "I have been blessed."

You fall down the stairs and she's standing over you? "Oh, an angel?"

That one actually got you kicked.

Velvette's not... Mad...

Mostly because she finds you quite cute, like a little silly thing.

She is REALLY CONFUSED THOUGH BECAUSE???? you've never been like this before??? And you don't seem to be realizing what you're saying????

She decides to Uno reverse you.

"Anything else you need me to do for you?" You ask handing her lunch or something,

"You can sit on my lap."

Cue you spiraling

Cue the rest of the day where you'd blurt out something and she'd retort in kind.

Your coworkers are confused for the most part because??? The last time someone tried this they uh...

Let's just say the Vee's swap employees.

anyways cue the end of the work day where Velvette ends up taking you on a date because??? You're flirting with her and she's reciprocating so obviously the next time is to take you out.

Eventually in true cartoon fashion you get another concussion and everything just swaps back, your inside thoughts are back to being your inside thoughts but you did get a girlfriend out of your concussions!!

She did drag you to the hospital though because you had TWO concussions!!

Your job may or may not be in jeopardy though because you're dating your boss and uh.... That's kinda messy soooooooo good luck with that!!

Good evening folks!! I do hope you enjoyed!! Happy Valentine's day! Whether you're spending this day with a loved one, family, friends or by yourself I hope you have a wonderful day, and remember if you like chocolate it's supposed to go on sale soon, I want caramel chocolates :]

Anyways as always thank you for tunin' on in! Have a great rest of your night!

PSSSSSSSSST!!!!! Join our discord! It's welcoming to all fandoms not just hazbin and it's filled with amazing people!

[tapwater118]

Tap Water Productions Presents:

What’s the Deal With Evil Leafy?

Seriously, what’s her deal? What’s with all the chasing and the people-eating and the potentially-possessions? Where’d she even come from? Am I actually gonna answer any of these questions? Well, keep on reading, dear readers!

Hello, internet! Welcome to BFDI Theory!

A Crash Course in Evil Leafy

Before we can find out what Evil Leafy is, it would help to know where and when Evil Leafy is. Here’s a tabulation of all of Evil Leafy’s canonical appearances:

Evil Leafy’s first appearance is in BFDI 17, where she is one of the 30 recommended characters that could potentially join the show (recommended by MrOrange890). She fails to get enough votes to join, and is summarily sent to the LOL.

Her next “appearance” is in BFDI 25, where Leafy can be seen “turning into” Evil Leafy after Golf Ball accuses her of stealing Dream Island. Strange, but Bubble did briefly turn into Evil Bubble in BFDI 20, so maybe it’s just a visual flair?

Evil Leafy does not receive enough votes to join season two, so in BFDIA 1 she is sent to the LOL with the rest of the rejects. Evidently she escapes at some point, as she appears in BFDIA 2 to chase Book, Ice Cube, and Spongy through the Evil Forest. Book and Icy escape, but Spongy trips, allowing Evil Leafy to “sink into” him.

In BFDIA 3, Spongy is shown no worse for wear as he spits out Evil Leafy. She is quickly frozen by Gelatin, who takes the time to write on her back. She unthaws later as she is seen “sinking into” a frozen Flower in BFDIA 4. Notably, strange dark vines seem to grow out of Flower when this occurs.

Like Spongy, in BFDIA 5a Flower spits out Evil Leafy, again none the worse for wear. Evil Leafy then spends some time chasing Tennis Ball, Golf Ball, and Rocky through the Evil Forest, before consuming them as well as the entirety of FreeSmart.

Evil Leafy serves as the setting for BFDIA 5b, as it is revealed she contains an entire world within her being. Also notable is that the BFDI crew are not her first victims: various other objects can be seen living in this world, all of whom met the same fate as FreeSmart. Lego Brick confirms that there are in fact thousands of recommended characters trapped within Evil Leafy; she’s been quite busy off-screen.

(Most of) FreeSmart escape Evil Leafy in BFDIA 5c, who proceeds to give chase once more. Book and Ruby successfully kill Evil Leafy with a large weight, alongside Puffball and Fries. As TB, GB, and Rocky (as well as Firey and Gelatin) need to be recovered in BFDIA 5d, it can be assumed that they either died within Evil Leafy during 5b, or died when Evil Leafy was crushed. If the latter, it can be assumed that all of the other objects in Evil Leafy die as well.

Evil Leafy takes a leave of absence until BFDIA 6, where Team No-Name accidentally revive her by looking into a leaf-shaped mirror in the ˥IΛƎ Here Hotel. She gives chase to them, during which she phases through a window, causing Tennis Ball to remark that “she’s growing stronger.” Interesting.

As she’s about to catch Team No-Name, she hears Coiny repeatedly saying her name elsewhere in Yoyle City. This gets her to prioritize WOAH Bunch and FreeSmart over the helpless Team-No-Name. As she apparently cannot go underwater, she ends up causing the two teams to see-saw on the dehumidifier for some time.

After fruitlessly chasing WOAH Bunch across the dehumidifier, in BFDIA 7 Firey Speaker Box evidently has enough of her shenanigans and freezes her, causing her to fall into the flooded building. For one reason or another, she is absent when WOAH Bunch drain the building, and she is not seen again for an even longer period of time.

After a four episode absence, she returns in BFDIA 12, and after killing Bomby (note that her sinking into him actually does kill him, unlike the other times she has done this) and being harassed by a bunch of concert-goers, she becomes all buddy-buddy(?) with Pan Flute, and ends up doing her strange vine thing without even sinking into him like with Flower.

In BFDIA 13, Pan Flute decides he is done with Evil Leafy’s shenanigans and duct tapes her to the wall, which apparently is enough to contain her. That is, at least, until Leafy utters the word “Who?” in context of wondering who recovered her. This sound somehow burns away the tape, allowing Evil Leafy to go free.

Throughout BFDIA 14 Evil Leafy chases the contestants across the islands, notably causing her strange vines to grow through the islands. This comes to a head when she chases FreeSmart through the pirate ship, and after Book narrowly escapes being captured, she confronts them one last time while standing on the surface of the water, and Needle crushes her with the ship.

As the rest of BFDIA hasn’t released yet, we don’t know what happens to Evil Leafy during that time. She evidently sticks around, as she can be seen stalking TB and GB in the Science Museum in IDFB 1, though oddly does not give chase unlike her previous appearances.

After IDFB, Evil Leafy is seemingly gone. She never shows up, and none of the characters even mention her. In BFB 6, Diamondcup67 submits her as a recommended character, but even then she doesn’t actually appear; she’s been replaced by a cardboard cutout of herself.

Her sudden disappearance thus begs the question:

What Happened to Evil Leafy?

Unfortunately, it’s all but impossible to tell. Whatever happened happened during IDFB, which is a huge knowledge gap in terms of the timeline. However, I have ideas of things that could be related :

The Desertion of Yoyle City

Strangely, despite calling Yoyle City their new home during BFDIA, the contestants seem to have long abandoned it by BFB 1. Seeing how closely Evil Leafy is tied to BFDIA and Yoyle City (through the ˥IΛƎ Here Hotel), there’s reason to believe she might have something to do with this.

Something to note is that the BFB grasslands are not the same as the BFDI ones, as evidenced by Golf Ball’s Underground Factory; it still has the old grass around the entrance, as she had to move it to this new location. The new grasslands are also seemingly closer to Yoyleland than the old ones, as Yoyle Mountain can pretty much always be seen in the distance, whereas it is never visible in the old grasslands. This could imply that the desertion was hasty, or that there was no way to easily cross the Goiky Canal (or even the Evil Forest).

(Some confusion may arise about these actually being two separate locations, seeing as they’re both referred as Goiky several times, but Goiky could just be the name of the greater location that encompasses both grasslands, and potentially Yoyleland too.)

Also interesting is that Barf Bag is seemingly unfamiliar with Yoyleland; when she is teleported there in TPOT 4, she expresses how Yoyleland is her “lifelong travel destination,” as well as getting excited over getting to see a yoyleberry for the first time. This is very odd, seeing as if IDFB were to continue as purported, Barf Bag would be freed from the LOL at some point and would have had at least some time to explore Yoyleland. Did Yoyle City get abandoned in the middle of IDFB, such that Barf Bag was released from the LOL in the new grasslands?

Everyone’s Okay With Leafy Now

In IDFB 1, Leafy is still an outcast from the rest of the group, still being metal, hiding in the bushes, and throwing knives at people. When we next see her in BFB 1, she’s been accepted back into the fold of the cast, conversing with both newbies and veterans in her usual Leafy way with no objections from anyone (except Firey, but everyone already knows what his issue is). Why the sudden(?) change in group opinion?

Maybe this could be written off as the newbies both outnumbering the veterans and not knowing about the theft of Dream Island (seeing as how Eggy and Lollipop were seemingly completely unaware of the incident, and even Gelatin, a BFDIA veteran, only had cursory knowledge of it). But she still interacts in a cordial manner with a decent amount of season 1 veterans, and any that still have a problem with her have their issue unrelated to Dream Island (again, except for Firey).

Maybe Leafy does something to gain back the group favor? Maybe something related to Evil Leafy? There is an obvious connection between the two, as suggested by BFDIA 13. Is there some encounter between the two that causes Evil Leafy to stop showing up? Is this the reason they move out of Yoyleland? I have an idea that I’ll get to soon, but it’s mostly speculation right now. There are many questions that unfortunately do not have answers right now.

So, that begs the question:

What even is an Evil Leafy?

There are two main aspects of Evil Leafy I want to bring up.

The first is her strange aversion to water. In BFDIA 6, she refuses to chase her prey into the water, even though they are sitting ducks at that point and she clearly prioritizes WOAH Bunch over the much drier Team No-Name. Additionally, in BFDIA 14 we see Evil Leafy standing on top of the water on Teardrop’s island. She absolutely does not want to go into that water.

And honestly, it makes sense why; after she falls into the water in the beginning of BFDIA 7, she isn’t seen until BFDIA 12. A four episode gap! That’s even longer than when she got crushed in BFDIA 5c! For some reason, water is especially dangerous to her, and while she isn’t afraid to go near it, she absolutely will not go in it of her own accord.

(Also worth noting that, as Needle likely submerged Evil Leafy when crushing her with the ship, we might not actually see her for a few episodes. If my theory holds water (heh), she most likely will not be in BFDIA 15. Ah, bugger. I forgot about the stinger where we see her safe and dry inside the ship. My bad. Ignore this paragraph.)

Secondly is how Evil Leafy gains her power. Tennis Ball remarks that Evil Leafy is “getting stronger,” and we don’t just have to take his word for it. Her “sinking into” move goes from being nearly harmless in BFDIA 2 and 4 to directly killing Bomby in BFDIA 12. Also, her strange vines go from needing to sink into someone to grow (BFDIA 4), to just needing to be near someone (BFDIA 12), to being able to grow anywhere regardless of if anyone is present (BFDIA 14).

I think they made it fairly clear where this power is coming from: in BFDIA 13, Leafy is the one who indirectly gives Evil Leafy the strength to burn away the tape and free herself via her confusion at being recovered. This goes back even further; despite likely being free from the LOL for some time during BFDI season 1, Evil Leafy is nowhere to be seen. You know when she does start showing up? When Leafy is exiled to Yoyleland.

Evil Leafy is an Anti-Leafy, the polar opposite of Leafy. Leafy is green, Evil Leafy is red. Leafy has been shown to love water, while Evil Leafy hates it despite (presumably) also being a plant. Leafy loves being nice to people, while Evil Leafy is seemingly built on detest for all she encounters.

Well, you say, Leafy is prone to lashing out at others. Does this mean Evil Leafy can remain docile around others? Yes! In BFDIA 12, Pan Flute treats her with kindness (at least initially), and in turn Evil Leafy does not harm him despite having every faculty to do so. Leafy and Evil Leafy are polar opposites. Two halves of the same coiny.

So, back to my idea I mentioned earlier; we can see that Leafy’s negative feelings apparently give power to Evil Leafy. Heck, even that moment I called strange in BFDI 25 could play into this: the negative emotions Leafy feels in that moment transmitting power to Evil Leafy. So what ultimately causes Evil Leafy to vanish?

If Leafy’s negative emotions give her power, it would only make sense that Leafy’s positive emotions drain that power. When Leafy got accepted back into the cast, I can only imagine she felt elated at that. She’s back with her friends! She can laugh and play and be nice to them just as she could before. Sure, some might still not like her, and she may still get sad and angry at times, but if you ask me I don’t think it can get much worse than “exiled to a distant land for years.”

Maybe she even precipitates the move out from Yoyle City. Yoyleland is a haven of bad memories for her, it would make sense she wouldn’t want to live there. And seeing as she makes some friends with some newbies (or at least gets on their good sides), they may want to follow her, eventually leading to everyone leaving on a “when in Rome” principle.

When Leafy is happy, what does that mean for Evil Leafy? Literally it means that her power is drained and that she cannot continue her reign of terror, but metaphorically it means that Evil Leafy is not necessary anymore. Evil Leafy showed up when Leafy was at her lowest (barring BFDI 16/17, but I’m willing to write that off as a form of Early Installment Weirdness), and she leaves as soon as that low point is over.

So that’s what Evil Leafy is. Even if not physically, at least she represents Leafy’s broken psyche. Leafy is unavailable, Leafy cannot handle the current situation, she remains exiled in Yoyleland. So Evil Leafy, the Anti-Leafy, the antithesis to all things Leafy, steps into the picture. And when Leafy becomes available again, Evil Leafy is gone. Leafy’s sorrow literally imprints itself onto the world, as if reality is saying “Oh, you don’t want Leafy? Then you can have Anti-Leafy instead. See how much better that fares for you.”

and that’s all I really have to say. sorry if this is a bit all over the place, i wrote it over the course of a week and had several new ideas in the meantime, so some rewriting had to be done. And with my luck bfdia 15 is going to instantly disprove all of this, so yeah for that

[wolfertinger]

(keep anon if it isn't on, please)

genuine question. should we all start paying attention to artists that salem reblogs on his tumblr? or only the ones in which they mutually reblog from each other? i've noticed he's reblogged a couple of artists i looked up to either currently or in the past.

i like willow's/fourleafisland's art a lot, i have for a couple of years now but i saw something a while back saying that they reblogged something from salem, or vice versa but it was also mentioned that willow may not have known. does anyone know if this is still true?

i'm not as petty as to disengage with someone's blog just from a one off encounter, but as an artist that posts my own stuff i really don't want to fall into salem's circle.

some other artists i'm somewhat concerned about:

sout999 (i've seen salem reblog from him a couple of times but i've never seen him interact with salem back unless if i missed something.)

(forgot their username but they had a dark brown deer/reindeer? fursona with super saturated red and blue swirly/hypno eyes) i guess this one kinda answers itself since i have seen that person reblog from salem before, but i have seen them involved in circles in the past where i knew the other person would be triggered by propara stuff... i'll list some of the artists below that i've seen in the same circles.

bupzbie (i used to follow him a couple of years ago but i was in the same-ish circles, mutuals with some of his friends and whatnot. i'm pretty sure he was good friends with that deer fursona person, i've seen him interact with them a handful of times before)

2bruza

faunbuns (i've never seen them reblog from salem before but they were mutuals/friends with bupzbie)

kurofai/bibiken/wizardcap/igaueno (looks like they drew pawberri's tumblr icon)

sorrysap/battleguitar/badsyndrome/feliburn (friends with bibiken)

if anyone knows or can think of anymore plz let me know bc i know how furry circles operate and maybe i was a bit naive not to realize it before, but after seeing the hehymn situation unfold right after the nas situation happened, literally the exact same thing, i will never not be suspicious of certain furries that seem clique-y like that. jpegdisco, mothsprout, etc.

srry if any of the artists mentioned above see this i don't want to drag someone into all of this but as someone with trauma like cocsa and being taken advantage of throughout my entire childhood and teenage years i'm tired of finding an artist whose art i really resonate with only to find out they're openly pro-para. it makes me feel so betrayed and gross and we should honestly be shaming these people more.

i don't care if a stranger fantasizes or copes with their own trauma privately, but why make a blog about it? why talk about it? why violently fetishize real life scenarios so openly with so little regard to who sees it? you people love to abuse the rhetoric of 'you're only a perfect victim unless if you act a certain way' but don't realize it goes both ways. i've seen the way that people who hold these attractions and beliefs shame people who simply don't want to see this stuff, or even so little as question it.

also am i the only one that kinda notices the propara shtick sometimes seems like a last resort for some people? fr34kpet or however you spell their username used to be peaceskiies, comfortpuppies, etc and had multiple callouts on their back. radio silence for years until they rebrand under a new alias posting feral porn. same with salem, called out multiple times, ran off the internet multiple times, comes back under a new alias with propara views. i've seen this happen with some other artists as well in the past but i can't remember who they were.

this is pointless to mention but i did also think it was interesting how pawberri also goes by ramiel and has a bunny fursona just like how deadbunny does. what's next? another ramiel? salemiel? lol

honestly. it is impossible, to keep track, of furry circles.

a long time ago, i came to live with the hard truth, that being in furry circles, inevitably, means you will have 5 degrees of separation, from people you hate. i do not just mean, people you personally dislike, or people you have beef, with. but ACTIVE, zoophiles. pedophiles. abusers.

furry, has long had an issue where popufurs, will shelter and protect their friends. no matter what. to the degree, i have seen furries that raped irl, and were accepted back with open arms, while their victim was chased off the platform. i have seen ACTIVE ZOOPHILES- not art. not fantasies. people who SEXUALLY ABUSED DOGS, IRL- be accepted right back into furry, with open arms.

knoxapoppin, the partner of wild---life, a furry that was exposed TWICE , PUBLICLY, for her zoophilic attractions. is still a popular dj, that continues to perform at cons, to this day. he has faced no scrutiny. no backlash. nothing. he is the partner to an animal abuser. but furries love him. and wild---life suits, are still in popular demand. this is the same, with artkour, and their zoophilic partner narmin. who self admitted to fucking IRL ANIMALS. self admitted, to being "addicted", to IRL zoophilic porn. yet artists like nepeteaa, continue to get suits from them.

there was a long time, i did not dare call myself furry. to this day. i still do not like to. but, liking cartoon animals, means you will be within these circles. this, is why i am so adamant, on protecting queer and alternative spaces, from people like this. abusers WILL manipulate situations, to make themselves the victim. they will wax poetic, about "lies" against them. and if you do not bother to research yourself. you will be an enabler, of an abuser.

the best thing to do, is to stay alert, and keep our spaces clear of IRL, ACTING PREDATORS, most of all. you will drive yourself crazy, trying to block out everyone associated, with a bad popufur. protect your peace, most of all.

[eyecantread]

In case James Somerton tries to release a second manipulative apology video, here's some stuff I haven't seen shared on Tumblr. In the initial wake of HBomberguy's video release on December 3, Somerton made the following post to Patreon that was quickly deleted:

Here he dismisses Plagiarism and You(tube) as "not bringing up anything new since the last time he was accused of plagiarism" and tries to pull the same victim card as before when he complained that a "big creator was unfairly targeting him." This is a rehash of previous controversies and criticisms he's received such as when he went after Nebula for "not wanting to platform him because he's queer (lol wut)" in 2022 and lashing out at Dan Olson on Twitter when Dan called him out for the Patreon shit in April 2023 (James begged his viewers to support him on Patreon because he claimed to be in dire financial straights and then bought a $5k+ camera). The man is very versed in DARVO.

The Ace Couple, a pair of Asexual podcasters (who you should totally listen to btw) detailed the Nebula debacle in a recent episode, as well as their own interaction with Somerton as financial backers of his film project who disagreed with the content of one of his videos. The issue? Aside from the shenanigans with Telos, the Indiegogo film studio the Ace Couple backed, Somerton had said in a video that asexual people don't get sent to conversion therapy, which is categorically not true. Naturally, he resorted to his tried and true tactic of accusing the Ace Couple of attacking him.

He then released a second statement later in the evening of the release of Hbomberguy's video:

All of this on top of him subtly throwing his cowriter under the bus for it in his apology video! Statements like, "I'm not trying to throw Nick under the bus" don't work when you also say things like, "things that weren't true I didn't write or believe made it into the videos!" What other conclusion are viewers supposed to make about shit like 'American soldiers lusting after Nazi bodies' and the snarking misogyny that can't be traced back to a source other than Nick wrote it? Somerton is using Nick as a fall guy and trying to gaslight everyone into thinking he's not and it's transparent and pathetic.

The man absolutely does not deserve another chance and any claims he makes that he is seeking money to reimburse the queer creators he erased by plagiarizing their work should not be trusted. The guy has zero credibility, don't give him the benefit of the doubt.

[trothplighted]

Like Marietta who seem to have been created just to betray Harry and be disliked… a character that never sat well with me was Cedric! I always felt like he was primed to earn our sympathy - he was a good son, good student, handsome, nice to Harry, and by all accounts didn’t “deserve” to die. I always found that cowardly. What do you think?

I finally have consistent enough internet to answer this! (Yay storms…)

The difference imho between Cedric and Marietta is that Cedric is well-utilized throughout GoF and Marietta is a vague whisper of a character in the one book where she’s a significant player. Cedric is primed for our sympathy for the whole book, and this is because we are supposed to feel like him dying was an injustice - because it was. He was a seventeen-year-old boy, he was at the beginning of his adult life, he had a family who adored him, he was popular and kind and brimming with potential. He’s present enough to have an impact on Harry’s life.

But I don’t think you’re wrong to have a kind of :/ reaction to a lot of this, especially since someone as famous in-school and as exciting and as handsome as Cedric would, I think, have logically been a bigger presence in the story up to this point. And yet, because Joanne doesn’t really plot out things beyond This Specific Book She’s Writing Right Now, we don’t get nearly enough of Cedric to make his death feel earned in quite the same way. I would have liked to see him be sort of a school legend or a big man on campus as early as book 1, and it would’ve been cool if that had happened.

GoF is, I think, the best-written and best-constructed of all the Harry Potter books. It’s the point where she took the writing level-up she achieved through PoA and applied it to a longer story with great success. It’s also the last point at which her editor had anything useful to do in the process of writing and publishing these books - she was very open in interviews and in discussion about OotP/HBP/DH that she’d essentially been given free reign to do whatever she liked, and that she didn’t listen to her editor beyond basic proofreading, and that she liked it that way. As a result it stands as the first really big book in the series, one that integrates an adult supporting cast well and sets up and pays off all of its major plot points. It’s a serious delight to reread, more than the first three even, and it’s also tight in a way we don’t see either before or after. And yet, it falls victim to the fact that Cedric can only be a character in this specific book, because she never included him before and can’t include him after.

I do actually think someone had to die in GoF to make the threat of Voldemort feel real, because Harry was always going to escape (and this is easily his most narrow escape, and the only one of her deus ex wandlore plots that pays off emotionally for me, because it’s desperate and uncertain and still requires him to make a run for it and survive by his own wits) and we needed to take Voldemort seriously to really feel the absolute pants-shitting dread that Harry feels in that sequence. I think Cedric was an obvious choice, as someone who really was too good for this sinful earth in the classic tropey sense and as someone whose death would catalyze sustained efforts to fight misinformation because of how good he was, but I think you’re right to feel like he doesn’t quite live up to his full potential here.

[lologoinsolo]

I'm usually just a lurker when it comes to fanfic buuut I've gotta say that your "In The Shadows" series is so wonderful. It's scary in the best way, and the way you describe scenes and imagery creates such a vivid image. Every time you release a new chapter I'm torn between reading it because 'Eek new chapter'! But then I'm also like 'Noo, what if something happens :('. The story has me on the edge of my seat every time. I also really love your world building (I'm likely a bit biased) especially with the 141. The way they function and are describes has me grabbing at every detail you give. They're so scary, yet I want to know so much more! It has me hooked for sure. I probably wouldn't survive a single night in the town if I was this curious lolol Sorry this is so long, I'm a rambler. Thank you so much for doing what you do! You are such a wonderful writer, and I hope you're taking care of yourself. Stay hydrated! (PS: Hoping this won't submit more than once, my internet is being iffy. So sorry if it does! Aaah so embarrassing Dx)

I love when people ramble in my inbox, I could listen to people all day if I could. I’m so, so, so glad you love it and came off your lurker status for it (you’re making me blush btw)

I am glad that you’re getting scared by them. Taking a crack at horror is not for the weak. I keep second guessing if this is horror or more of a suspicious/mystery drama…. I need to add more scenes of them killing. Welllllllll actually!! I don’t think this will be spoilers when I talk about Gaz and Soap’s way of killing/hunting. Under the cut is gonna be bloody (hahaha)

TW: Talks of past murders and death and just a general sense in how Soap/Gaz hunt…

I didn’t want to make them all the same kind of killer because in game and in their bio they’re all completely different in skills and overall character.

Soap’s way of hunting is flamboyant in a sense. It’s the thrill, the chase, the desperation in seeing his victim(s) try to run or outlast him. Before the rock was used (this isn’t a spoiler cause in the From Series the Sheriff is the one that found it) he was having the time of his life. He’s artistic in sense that he’ll rearrange bodies just for the wow factor that he knows it’ll bring to his later victims. But with that stupid rock now in use he’s been itching for fun. Goes far too overboard to sate himself when someone’s stupid enough to try their luck at night. (Now, can he jump the gun and scare off people because he’s overly enthusiastic? Hell, yes. Is there someone or someone’s that can rein him in… hehehehe, yeah.)

Gaz’s way of hunting is subtle. He lures, gains trust, speaks gently and kindly. Doesn’t want a poor little rabbit to run and make him work for it. He wants them to come to him. Everyone second guesses on Gaz because he makes himself personal. Plays on their fears and says to them, “oh, poor thing. It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. I promise.” And when that ‘poor thing’ opens the door or window well… maybe it’s their own fault for being so trusting. It’s an added bonus if they fall in love, everyone wants the big, bad guy to be soft for them so who is he to deny them their little fantasy. (Honestly I can talk about Gaz for hours. I love Soap but Gaz? Oh, yeah. I’m opening the door, baby.)

[asssiya]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATION 4.

· The absence of quadratures in the natal chart makes a person weaker. The difficulties that appear in life should motivate them to solve them, but people without quadratures seem to blame everyone around them and life itself for such a difficult fate. Although, most likely, it's some little thing. A person needs not to fall into the role of a victim and begin to discipline himself to solve his problems!

· The undeveloped stellium 4 houses such dependence on nostalgia. My dad has it, and he talks about his past all the time, as if he was stuck in that time and can't get out of this state and live in the present.

· The moon in the 6th house, their love for cats is boundless.

· Cancer in the 8th house and stellium in the sign gives a diagnosed mental illness associated with the stellium zodiac sign. For example, I knew one guy with Cancer in the 8 house and stellium Aries, and he was diagnosed with anger problems. The guy's friend had Cancer 8 house and stellium of Pisces and Aquarius, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

· Venus in the 11th house a social butterfly can meet a partner via the Internet or from friends to lovers. They can definitely become famous through social media in some way.

· The ascendant in Libra, the same guy/girl that most often everyone falls in love with.

· The Stellium in Pisces are so cute and shy, and they also adore music and may have artistic abilities. But the unprocessed clearly hide something like sacrifice, a manipulator, a liar and a person dependent on bad habits.

· Earth signs in the 5th house do not go on dates, considering it a waste of time. They are very focused on their career growth.

· If you have an ascendant in Leo in a composite card with someone, it means that you are both connected with some kind of creative activity. For example, I used to go to art school, and most of the people I communicated to had this position.

· I had Mars and Venus in Leo in 1 house in a composite map with a guy from high school. And literally everyone knew that we had feelings for each other, both romantic and physical. In a way, we were the main "couple" of our class. As well we were touching and teasing each other all the time.

· With my friends, I have always had positions in Aquarius, in a composite map. Especially the Moon!

· I have the Moon in Sagittarius and all the guys with Mars in the same the sign all the time were kind of pestering me, trying to find an excuse to touch me. This also applies to the opposite Mars in Gemini, but they teased and flirted with me more...

That is all.❣

[mangionebabymama]

Anyway, I ended up rambling longer than I thought, but I get your frustration here. You can absolutely make lighthearted jokes about someone and their quirks without crossing the line into mockery. There’s a difference between gently laughing at someone’s flaws and fully ridiculing them. And honestly, who cares if he was gullible, sheltered, or awkward? How is “mocking” those traits supposed to help him now? It’s definitely not going to get him out of federal custody tomorrow.

The weird part is they make these jokes about everything that went on with the police, for the tactics police use on everyone and are successful like 90% of the time unless someone in the custody has had multiple run ins with the law enforcement. Those just pissing me off. "He accepted food/water", they took him early in the morning, they made a warrant 9 hrs later which means they didn't start questioning him until night. They 100% denied him water or something to eat or even somewhere to sit until the questioning. This part wasn't even him being naive, it was him falling victim to games the police are taught to play with suspects and they succeed in majority of the cases .... The second is "why does he reply to X,Y,Z" people like you mfs have access to the internet, you are seeing the bs they are posting. How tf would he know ? Y'all have access to more information than him.

I’ve seen some of the jokes about the tactics they used in Altoona, and okay—sure, it’s all shits and giggles now because you’re laughing about it in hindsight. But I bet if you were in his position, you’d fall victim to the same games the police are trained to play. Like him, a lot of people have never been in police custody before and wouldn’t know what to do, especially when they’re improperly mirandized and subjected to illegal searches and seizures like he was.

If you were taken into custody early in the morning, not shown a warrant until nine hours later, and denied food and water during that time (also, while no one—that being your family and friends—knows where you are and hasn’t for months and you’ve probably barely eaten, freezing in the cold) tell me honestly: what would have you done in that instance?

And as for getting upset over who he responds to in his correspondence, he doesn’t fucking know some of these people the way we do, or have come to know about them LMAOOO. He doesn’t know the lore or the tea that’s been going on; he probably doesn’t even realize there’s an actual “established” community online dedicated to him, or at least he might not have the conceptual awareness that it’s grown into something so defined.

Also, the people you see acting a certain way on social media, within this community supporting Luigi, aren’t going to “show” or “sound” disgusting, immoral, weird, or however you perceive their behavior to be, when it comes to writing him letters. There are strict guidelines you have to follow when writing to him, and if you want your letter to actually reach him, you’re not going to act the same way you do on Tumblr or Twitter unhinged. A letter gets screened before it’s delivered, and at the end of the day, on paper, it’s just another person offering him support.

[milkichip]

This is probably over, and I kinda don't care about it anymore, so Imma yap (bored and this is stupid anyway)

I was sent these screenies of ... whatever this is

I don't know what the hell made this fella think that I give a shit about shipping discourse to the point I would bother people I don't know about it. So that's an interesting ... opening to start with.

I'm mainly active on Tumblr, not Twitter. (LOL)

This has been my Twitter bio since ... fall 2024 (the fall I apparently transformed my 18+ into ... an art account). So yes, it has suggestive art like once a month on it, but it's not...an 18+ account. But since I do have bouts of psychosis from time to time (and forget a lot), I did ask people who have been following me for a while if my account was ever 18+ (with the warnings and such), and I just so happened to forget... But they all said "no". Because uh... that never happened.

Of course, I still kept my suggestive art. Because that's what's advertised in the bio.

Here's what my bio was in the summer of 2024. So I guess I just...I'm stupid or can't read.

And the whole angle of me befriending minors on Twitter is...odd, considering that I don't really talk to anyone on Twitter, but I will admit I do call a lot of people "my friend" when I talk to them. Not because I'm friends with them, it's just polite. But uhhh... no, I don't go out of my way to talk to minors. As far as my knowledge goes, I talk to my same 3 friends who are all adults. The only Twitter friends I have.

Speaking of 18+ accounts, I do have one

There is 18+ and NSFW on this account that I made in fall 2023. (?)

BUT no, I don't have an 18+ for talking to minors on and an 18+ account for adults. I'm not that far gone.

My screenshot is on the right, theirs is on the left, but this was the "proof" that I'm sexually harassing a guy this person knew for over a year. It turned out to be my friend (my actual friend, haha) of 2-3 years. Screenshot of a conversation in a voice call taken way out of context as my friend was saying stuff like that first, and I just reciprocated because. Friends do that. So the only proof of all of these claims (as the rest have no proof whatsoever, go figure) was just not proof of anything at all. But me having friends. And he didn't want to start beef, not because he's scared of me or anything, but literally just he didn't have a problem with me.

Weird to try to convince my friend that they are a victim of me talking to him how he talks to me. Hey, what's the difference between me and him to the point that he would be a victim of sexual harassment, but I wouldn't? Hmmmmm...

Also, he told me because I asked, because we are friends. No, the mods didn't tell me it was my friend's screenshots. I kind of don't talk to that many people on the internet (stated before), so I know what my friend's DMs look like. And how would it be useful for the mods, or anyone else for that matter, to believe everything claimed about me without proof and then kick me from spaces I'm settled in?

I got confirmation of the person who made the claims from the mod, yeah. Not the screenshots, though.

I can understand boundaries and respect them really well but while I have stated multiple times (since like 2021 until now) that I don't really like and I'm not receptive to sexually charged replies to my art it's funny coming from the person who completely ignored all that shit and then

also

c'mon bro, pronouns are a simple boundary too, right there in the server

Yeah, that was an annoying thing to have to deal with for like. A week. Some of my posts started getting flagged after I stayed on the server too.

Two of my posts got removed, too, and yeah, I'm still upset about that (could be a coincidence, bro)

I'm not asking you (1 reader) to care, btw, cause I don't. You shouldn't either, frankly

It is just a very funny thing to happen to me over telling one person (it was not the insect person 💔 I don't know this fella) to stop badjackting queer people you don't like over ships. and then got badjacketed over that lmaooooo I didn't even have to ship anything. I think that was the "shipping drama that I started" like two months before they tried to tell the moderation team of a Discord server that I'm favorable of minors.

I don't really got a reason to believe this hasn't been done before and I just wasn't told, but y'know. It is what it is bru

still bored

[reveluving]

if the skirt fits ; andy barber x reader

summary: Andy finds a little secret of yours.

warnings: heavily implied s~mut; costume kink (minors DNI!), familial fluff & mild humour!

a/n: you don't know how happy I am for finally sharing this piece with y'all, considering how it has been collecting dust in my drafts since LAST YEAR, but here it is; one of my earliest ideas for the series! don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» wanna know what I have in store this fall? come & check out my m.list for 'reve's quirky reverie 🕷️'!

“It fits you perfectly,” He purred, almost deep in thought—probably in his own fantasy, “So perfectly.” ;

"You could dress up as Jason?" You suggested what might’ve been the seventh costume idea since the drive home from dinner at the Thai restaurant nearby. 

"Done that." Jacob replied as he leaned forward from his seat to talk to you and his father.

"Spiderman?" 

"I feel like everyone's dressing up as Spiderman this year." 

"But not everyone's going to dress up as the same one." You had a point, considering how you and his dad were the first victims of his Spiderverse fixation since the second movie was released, so you knew what you were talking about.

"I guess,” Jacob thought for a moment before falling back in his seat, taking your idea into consideration, “I guess I just want something… different." 

"If you want different, then we could get you one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes on the internet." Andy held a playful look even as his eyes remained on the road.

"Very funny, dad." His son grumbled, despite fighting back his own smile.

"Aw, cheer up, Jake. You've got time." You reassured him. 

“Yeah… And I’m not too worried. The store next to Aunt Sarah’s bakery got some cool stuff when I bought last year’s costume,” Jacob mused before asking you, "What about you, mom? Have you thought of a costume yet?" 

Ah, mom. Even after all this time, you and Andy will never get tired of him calling you that.

"Mmm, not yet. But when I do, I'll make sure you're the first to know." You and Jacob shared a smile in the rear-view mirror, only to be interrupted by Andy clearing his throat.

"Uh, you're gonna tell him first and not me?" He cocked his head, feigning disbelief.

"Of course. You lost that privilege when you suggested Jake the dinosaur costume." You and Jacob laughed as Andy dramatically groaned, telling you ‘I didn’t mean it’ in an angsty teenager tone.

"I am not dressing up Ken." Andy answered, removing his watch and leaving it on the vanity table.

"Oh, c'mon, Cowboy Barber has a nice ring to it." You said with a lilt. 

"And where exactly am I going to find a Western shirt in my size?" He quirked an eyebrow at you.

"We could always ask the Flags. Her husband might have one hidden somewhere."

"Just because we've seen him with a cowboy hat last Halloween?" He remembered seeing him wearing one during the community party at the park.

"You'd never know. Barbie and Ken are safer than your recommendation." You opened the closet without taking your accusatory eyes off him.

"What's wrong with a devil and an angel?" 

"Andy." Surely he could tell how ridiculous he sounded. 

"It's… easy…? And you'd look really good in it." He tried to persuade you, standing next to you.

"At a party full of kids?" You weren't sure how the parents that were a little more… conservative would feel about their kids' teacher dressing up like that.

"I didn't say it was for Wilson's party. It's for our afterparty," He wiggled his brows, "Just you and me while Jake stays over at the Wilson's." 

You snorted. How cheesy of him.

"Wilson's party first, then whatever you want after," You turned back to the hanging clothes, "And besides, you should be the devil, not me." 

That wasn't a no.

"You know what," He pursed his lips, already considering your idea—especially with the black suit he knew you'd melt over, plus a red tie before dodging the swat of your hand with a laugh. Just then, he noticed you'd been searching for something for a while, unbuttoning his cuffs and folding his sleeves before asking, “Need some help?”

“I can’t find my panties. The baby blue ones.” You frowned.

“The one with the lace?” He asked, prompting you to nod, “I mean, as much as I love seeing you in those, you know I don’t mind you without any in the first place.”

“Nice try, Barber," You narrowed your eyes at him, gesturing to the drawers in front of him before you rummaged through the pile of folded clothes on the bottom rack, “Help me search the drawers, please.”

He did as he was told, looking through the first stack before moving on to the next.

There was little progress in your searches but your curiosity was only piqued when out of the corner of your eye, Andy was looking closely at something.

“Did you find it?”

He took a quick breath before answering, “No, but I did find something better.” 

You furrowed your brows, standing up to ask what he meant by that until you caught sight of the familiar skirt he held.

Plaid, grey and extremely short.

Uh oh.

You clasped your hands together in front of your tummy as you stared at the microskirt with wide eyes. You were even failing to notice him slowly breaking into a smirk. He didn’t stop there, reaching into the drawer he was looking into with his other hand to take out the matching tie. Your lips parted, darting your eyes between the article of clothing and the smug look on his face.

“I can explain,” You finally spoke up, your voice softer than you hoped for.

“Please, do,” He held the ends of the untied tie with both hands, “Because I’m pretty sure these are too small to be mine.”

Oh, he was going to have some fun with this.

“Well, it’s, y’know,” You moved your hands around, only to silently plea for him to understand without having you say it, “Andy, c’mon. You know what it is.”

It wasn’t enough for him, though, raising his brows and encouraging you to continue. 

He was clearly enjoying this. A whole lot. 

Unbelievable.

“It’s my old costume.”

He hummed, appraising the garment as he immediately imagined what you would look like in it, “So my pretty girl has a dirty secret of her own. Did you break any necks when you pranced around the neighbourhood in this?” 

“In my defence, I only wore that once, when I was in college, so,” You corrected him, recalling the party you attended in your final year. 

“So, you broke college boys’ necks.” 

“I didn’t say that,” You shook your head in amusement, “I just didn’t have the heart to give it away. It was just one of those rare times where I truly enjoyed living in the city.” 

Though the city wasn’t far from Reve Road, and hell, you’ve even thought about moving back once or twice in your earlier days, truthfully, you haven’t been there in ages, and thank goodness, too. What would life be like if you hadn’t stayed, made a name in the peaceful neighbourhood and met the Barbers?

"Do you miss it?" 

"Sometimes," You mustered a small smile, though it didn't quite reach your eyes, "But I had my fun. Grew up to be a city girl, earned my degree and let out my ‘wilder’ side a couple of times. But I love it here more, and if I want to keep my job, the last thing my students and my son need to see when they go trick-or-treating is their Literature teacher in this." 

You shared a hearty laugh. Your wonders about who or what you could’ve been if you stayed in the city were nothing more than a mere curiosity, and even then, it hardly mattered to you now.

“Wouldn’t hurt to relive the old days here in our room.” Oh?

"You can't be serious," You chuckled nervously, "It might not even fit." 

You were lying—you barely looked any different from your college years. You just weren’t sure if you were ready to see his reaction over such scandalous attire.

"All the more reason to try it," He replied confidently, closing the gap between the two of you. His voice deepened as he whispered, "C’mon. You can be a good girl for me, can’t you?" 

Like the gentleman he was, he used your weakness against you.

You knew you were done for when you gulped under his intense stare, cocking his head in the bathroom’s direction. 

You snatched the garments out of his grasp, the ‘deathly’ glare on your face contrasted with his conceited one as you obtained the shirt that came with it out of the same drawer. He continued to hold your gaze even as you closed the door.

Once you were alone, you couldn’t help but let out a silent scream.

You were too embarrassed to even face the mirror as you got dressed, not until you slid on the last piece—the skirt before turning around to look at yourself. You could barely acknowledge the coincidence of covering your face with your hands like a bumbling schoolgirl.

Because that was exactly what you looked like.

You remembered washing the set a couple of times after your first and only wear, and even then, you didn’t think the skirt could shrink that little. Your ass was hanging out of the hem, offering an ample peek at the black bikini brief you had taken with you. 

You came out of the bathroom, ignoring the warmth spreading through your body as you were met with Andy sitting at his side of the bed, shamelessly displaying the prominent tent bulging in his pants.

He hummed in approval before beckoning you to his lap, "Come here." 

You kept your gaze on the ground as you walked over to him, standing in between his legs.

"Come here." He repeated, this time, forcing you to maintain eye contact as he tapped his knee.

You let out the softest whimper, your arms encircling his neck before straddling one of his thick thighs. He rested his hands on your hips, only to run them up and down your body, watching your face already contorting between bashfulness and desire.

“It fits you perfectly,” He purred, almost deep in thought—probably in his own fantasy, “So perfectly.” 

He pulled you closer, bouncing his knee to rub against your clothed sex. Electricity coursed through your body over the not-so-innocent move, your breathing growing heavier by the second as he teased you further.

“But you haven’t answered my question yet. Did they or did they not stare at you when you wore this?”

He rendered you speechless. You were beginning to think your heart might burst out of your chest at any point. 

“I’m sure they did,” A part of him wanted to be annoyed but miffed was a better way to put it. Not at you, though, he could never. You were just trying to have fun and make the most out of what life had to offer. But if he was there to see you in this the first time you had it, likely showing your wilder side, oh, he couldn’t lie and say you wouldn’t catch his eye either. 

“But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore,” His hands slid past the hem, lifting it for him to drink in the sight of your curves, “It’s just you and me now.”

You dropped your head on his shoulder, hoping to stifle the moan that threatened to slip past your lips.

“Just imagine me bending you over the bed so I can get a peak of what’s mine underneath,” He sighed dreamily, smiling when your ass jiggled as he grabbed at and squeezed them, “Or should I throw you on the bed and have you on your knees?”

You didn’t answer, too focused on the way he groped your body until you jumped at the resounding crack and the sting that came with it on your left cheek.

"Does it come with thigh highs?" He asked ever so casually as if he wasn’t straining to have you just as much as you were him.

"I-It did, but… I kinda lost it." 

"That's fine. I can always get you a new one," He nosed your jaw, "In fact, I'll buy you more than just a pair. Maybe match some with your panties." 

You mewled, raising your head and granting him access to your neck. 

“You'd do everything your favourite professor tells you to do, wouldn’t you?” 

Fuck.

“Andy, I–” You nearly called him Professor Barber when the sounds of knocking on your door caused you and your husband to freeze up.

"Mom, dad,” It was Jacob, “I think Beemo's been collecting… socks under the couch?" 

Like a fish out of water, your mind was too blank to respond or even acknowledge the question. Thankfully, Andy was able to do it for you, “We’ll be right there!”

The two of you waited until his footsteps receded before you were able to let out a sigh of relief. Andy, on the other hand, had the audacity to chuckle at you. There was no reason for you to worry about scarring Jacob since Andy had already locked the door.

“Very funny.” You murmured sarcastically, moving off him and loosening the tie, hoping to ignore the ache in between your legs for the time being.

“Hilarious,” He cockily added, standing up with an almost pained groan. He stood behind you before wrapping his arms around your waist, “But this isn’t over.”

You stopped.

“I meant what I said about buying you thigh highs with it. Or better yet, some fishnets because my wife’s not so innocent after all.”

Despite getting cockblocked, he was immensely satisfied to see you shiver.

‘Beemo, are you collecting underwear too?’ You heard Jacob ask the cat incredulously, only for a ‘wait!’, followed by his footsteps going down the stairs, probably chasing the feline with whoever’s briefs or undies he had in his mouth. You could only hope it wasn’t yours.

“And, that’s our cue,” His shoulders slumped, only to growl in your ear, “Wear this for me tomorrow after dinner.” 

He then released you with a big smooch on your cheek, exiting the room to find his son, but not before winking at you.

Leaving you to wonder on your own if he’d throw you on the bed or have you on his lap tomorrow.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

» a/n: now is a good time to say; no, I have yet to come back to the series, but I was too stoked about this event and thought 'hey, this should be the best time!'

» consider it as a mini compensation! but I do want to thank you for still sticking around, just know 'future mrs barber' is nowhere near discontinuing! ;; gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡