#but i dont know if i should do that coz you shouldnt KNOW THAT about them!!!

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

Elliot, do you have any guilty pleasures?

"how the fuck do you expect me to fucking answer this? what do you think fucking PORN is a guilty pleasure or some shit? are you some freak fucking prude who's like oh fucking PORN is sinful????? dude what the fuck is wrong with you are you scared of pussy? are you fucking GAY???? jesus fucking christ i bet you're fucking gay i bet that's what it is. why would you fucking ask this huh? JEEZ"

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hi! Just want to vent out about this all happening om CE. Personally, i like watching CE's movies when he started being famous as Captain America. I dont search or read regarding his personal life and relationships. What makes me follow this is what is this PR stuff and why do all or just some went gaga over his relationship with abba. He wouldnt have said laser-focused on finding a partner when in reality he have already a partner to which we know is it really true. Come on, Chris if you love her, you shouldnt act that way like you're forced to do the papwalk and holding her hand. Like you cant wait for this to be over. To people calling CE names and such stuff, you should already stop. We might be mad and disappointed in CE regarding his relationship to 🐟 but in the end, it's still his decision. It's not easy to be a celebrity and you'll never know what CE been through in his career coz we dont know him personally. It is also not nice to wish someone dead from what i have heard. All of us wish something bad to people we dont like but thinking bad things can only give you stress and highblood pressure.😆

Aside from that, if ever CE would explain why he did this, would people understand why he have to do this? No, they will not. They cant, wont or will not understand why because it is not according to their justification. It's tiring to explain yourself again and again and you dont get the point you want to explain. I doubt CE will tell why coz people wont understand him. Why dont they put their shoes in CE's shoes so that you'll know whats it like to be him. As for 🐟, you left a bad taste in our mouth when you start having a relationship with CE (if that is even real🙄) and even being a racist as a celebrity is sooo baaaad. It will take awhile before that taste will be gone. Editing pictures as if you are there is 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮.

Haters go somewhere else to vent yourself somewhere else coz this is not the right place for you. Wouldnt it be a very big slap on your damned faces when you realize 🐟 is not CE's one true love you ever hoped for? Cant wait for that day to come.

That's honestly one of my hopes, An🫶n...

That this finally ends, and Chris is free to fall for his One.

Or the girl before the One. Anyone's better than Albitch, honestly. 😆

And I love everything about this Rant. It's really everything, and I can relate to it too. So, thank you, N🫶nnie.

Even if it'll be a long while before this PR thing with Chris and Alabama will be over, I eagerly await it. Let's just sit tight 😌

[tiodolma]

You know that moodboard you reblogged of Merlin and Morgana not being able to sleep? You know what occurred to me?

I'm thinking of season 3. These two with their love/hate thing and UST going on and their fights about evil plans, and you know... What if in one of those heating discussions, Morgana accidentally blurts out that she felt something and a lot of things for Merlin before the poisoning fiasco and then Merlin admitting the same.

And like both are in their minds... 😳 Oh, crap, what did I just said? So, both flee from each other, because this isn't good at all and neither can now sleep because of the whole situation. 😂😂

..... ok meta time

I think morgana has been honest enough even in s3 though (heck through s4-s5). Merlin is the more guarded one.

Based on Colin Morgan’s interpretation in many interviews, Merlin was the one who was self-aware enough that he loved her and deeply cared for her at some point. The show confirms that sort of acting decision coz he’s also always revealing his true feelings for her in front of kilgharrah and gaius. (plus the other character/actors have talked about it)

Meanwhile Katie Mcgrath doesn’t characterize Morgana in that way: that Morgana was self-aware enough that she loved him. I am of the opinion that Morgana was still on her way to falling in love with him when Fires of IDirsholas happened. All we know is that she deeply feels for him to the point where even Morgause didn't seem to know the whole depth of her feelings. KM insists that Morgana only wanted Merlin’s honesty and trust. We can see it In the show. Morgana had always told Merlin what she felt about him.

So if there was one who should admit their feelings then it should be Merlin.

Morgana already laid out everything she felt for him from S1-S3: “you are the actual hero here!” “I am your friend” "i don't feel so alone here," "i trust merlin” "you’re a good friend” “i have magic, merlin” “I now know what i am”. “i am afraid merlin” “i get that you only wanted to protect your friends” “i am upset that i was poisoned and you hurt me” “why should i care about people who dont care about me?” “Uther hates me and everyone like me” “you dont know how it is be be an outsider” “i thought we were friends then why are you against me if you understand me like what you claimed” “how can you hope to understand” “i dont really get you.” “Make me understand, merlin” "you're just a pathetic lowly serving boy to me," "you're a thorn in my side," "you condemned me to live in this poor state."

Meanwhile merlin is always like "i care for her", "i trust her," "she should be told that magic can be a force for good and it can be a gift" "she has a good heart," "she’s my friend," "i know her," "i feel sad for her," "she’s undergoing a hard time," "i understand her most of all," "i shouldnt have trusted her," "i dont wanna be bitter, angry and so full of hate like her," "i will never be like her," "i thought we were the same”

---but he says these only To the dragon and Gaius.

See how they contrast? With regards to to his feelings for Morgana, Merlin is only honest to his bosses, meanwhile Morgana is honest of her feelings for Merlin towards Merlin himself.

Merlin and Morgana were never meeting/fighting on the same ground.

It's honestly heartbreaking, especially since Merlin never holds back on saying the same wonderful words of affirmation to Arthur, to Gwen, to the Knights, to Freya, to literally everybody else.. but he could never say them to Morgana's face.

btw saying only "i understand" and not much else sometimes isn't enough anymore.

....

I honestly do not know what else Morgana could say that will push Merlin to honesty. I think she might as well strip herself naked and he still wouldn't give in (and s4 showed us that he can and will use that kind of weakness against her. he already used her nightmares against her after all).

All I’m saying is that Morgana had always been so so so vulnerable and raw in front of him. Normally that would give an opening to the other person to let down their guard and rely on her. (see agravaine, helios, aithusa, mordred)

But Merlin never did that. He had so many chances to tell her the truth and be vulnerable himself but he never allowed himself that kind of right in front of her. We know that he desperately wanted to but he couldn't because had been repeatedly and ceaselessly warned/conditioned/brainwashed/manipulated that it was the worst idea, that going against his job orders will have consequences.

.....

But as they are in s3? where they are just free to pursue whatever goals they have independent of each other... with how radicalized and extremist they both already are? With how Merlin has already lost at least 4 loved ones for the sake of protecting camelot and destiny (sunken cost fallacy and all that)? nah. I can't see him being honest to anyone, especially enemies who have done and said things he morally detests, anymore.

Personally i think the only way for merlin to finally tell her his truth is to trap both them in some situation where they have to work together, or where morgana’s magic isnt enough , or where they both have no magic, or where the have joint responsibility of another life. THEY HAVE TO BE TRAPPED. TRAP THEM TOGETHER.

[darkncruel]

Family

I felt sad today. I shouldnt make it all about me always. I should fight my own fights. I should never be submissive , maybe except few things, dont know what i am into yet. Sure , ppl are wrong. But i feel i should have dealt better. Its like i share , but bring the big guns of the family. I dont know what i ll say. I ll probably get wrapped up into it.

I feel strong opposition with paa. Its his wrong thinking , what can i do?

The truth is , you cant live with parents and siblings . Parents , even though they get old, you cant spend all your time with them , coz if you do, you might be working too much and making them feel better. But you are stealing from yourself. Your potential. I grow up, and see the more rights and wrongs. My parents arent perfect. They do have some major flaws. Would i have a clearer conscience if i just kept it in without a reaction over their injustice? Nope. I would be happy that they feel good but i would hate myself. I cant hate myself. I would die.

[ask-samevans]

SAM: maybe it like, shouldnt be. i mean i would usually make the person breakfast at least or like.. walk them to the door SAM: sweet SAM: idk, coz most people wouldnt be into it i guess? you also seem like the kinda girl that likes things to mean somethin. am i like totally wrong about that? SAM: thanks! idk if i would say like mature, i just dont wanna hurt no-one when just being honest could like stop it being a thing at all. but do we need some like... ground rules or somethin? SAM: i have dinner with the fam but do you wanna come around after that? i should be back by like 9pm? we can hang out, not watch some netflix and def not rush to get to sleep SAM: also how do you know ry will be away when i didnt even kno that??

MADISON: well thank you, but it's fine. it's like super normal for people to dip the next morning. MADISON: we totally agree. MADISON: why'd you think i'd say no? MADISON: honestly, it's really nice that you know that about yourself and are mature enough not to date. lots of people would do it anyway. MADISON: oh yeah, totes okay. honestly, i dont really date so. fine with me. MADISON: also idk if you're going home for thanksgiving or what but Ry just told me he is so, let me know if you're around and bored and I'll come over. 😚

[roteitbad]

pano naman ako? Nahulog na sa iyo.(translation: what about me? I've already fallen for you)

Ayato x itto songfic kasi putangina nyo.(translation: coz fuck u all)

Guide: bold and italics - tagalog, subscript and italics - translation

ooc everyone🥰

Ik that this song is usually reserved for thomato but LIKE

Ive grown to love you and you're leaving me. TYPE OF DYNAMIC.

Setting the scene: itto and ayato are already friends here and like been known each other for some time now. They both have romantic attraction for each other

Arataki Itto is not dumb(well-) while he sees friendship with the commissioner not impossible. Being his lover is another story. Still he probably had a small crush over sir kamisato thats covered by his admiration of the man.

Itto, knows what other people think of him, and frankly it doesnt bother him THAT much hahahaha... But still, him being a lover to ayato would mean he needs to mind his reputation. He believes that he is the best, just not the best in terms of being by ayato's side. He would have to leave everything he already is for the sake of his beloved.

So he settles for friends. Thats as far as possible. He would be happy with it. He calls his little crush as just admiration for the glorious yashiro commissioner. But it doesnt hurt to indulge in this admiration for a bit does it?

Kamisato Ayato loves his "bro." He used to only tolerate the loud man but after hearing through itto's rambles, he cant help but appreciate them. As he was the heir to and is now the yashiro commissioner, he only ever lived in monochrome sounds. He's to never misplace his laughter or to spill when he's supposed to be strong. So to befriend someone who's volume is always at at least 80. It was bothering at first, but slowly he came to love it. He came to love itto

He sees his bro's small advances at him. Always inviting him out, especially in very stressful times. Dedicating beetle fights to him even tho he most likely will loose. And they all could be just friendly gestures, if it weren't for the loving gaze itto gives him. A gaze that is filled with only love for him.

_

The day ayato decides to fully love itto back, was also the day itto decides to move on. Ayato would sigh and smile at his decision, while itto talks to other people to try to fill the hole in his heart that's made for ayato. And it is painfully obvious..

"Hello there, Itto, usually at this hour you would be pulling me out from my office through the window. Hehe"

"Oh-! Yea uhm as your "bro" i couldnt let you just be cooped up there ya know? Though i am a bit busy these days so u gotta just keep that in mind, alright?"

"huh,, you're busy?"

"mhmm yea, got people to meet and stuff. Plus the tenryou commision is kindaa on my tail these days. Not that i have one haha"

"..."

"heyy dont worry! We'll hang out soon! Just gimme some time alright?"

"Whatever you say, bro"

They both laugh, and went seperate ways, but both felt the same ache in their chests.

Itto knows that ayato wants to love him back, but ayato shouldnt. He must go now, so that ayato doesnt do so.

alam kong sanay bumitaw ang isang tulad mo. Lalayo na ba ako?

Poor ayato, the man he decided to love gave up on him. All because that itto believed he isn't the one that should be by his side

_

(i know that you're the type to give up easily. Should i go now?)

pano naman ako? Nahulog na sa iyo.

(what about me? I've already fallen for you)

binitawan mo lang ba talaga ako?

(did you really just let me go like that?)

"Itto please, i love you. Why can't you accept me? You loved me longer than i have, ive seen the way you look at me. I-"

"Ayato, you.. you shouldn't"

"You're the yashiro commissioner! Im.. im the dumb oni that creates havoc with his gang. I cant even dream of being your lover ya know?"

"Itto my status has no worth compared to you-"

"That's why! I don't want you sacrificing,, anything just to love me. Especially something as important as you being part of the tri-commision."

"so please.. you can't-"

"You're giving me up.. for something as stupid as a position?"

"you know best that it's not just a position to you, ayato!"

"..."

"i gotta go now, ayato. See you, when i see you"

_

i have no idea how to end it just- HAVE IT

[igonecrazy]

Ok ok um… shoot there’s so many titles I’m intrigued about sksksksk imma try my best 😅

TAM GIMME ALL THE DEETS ON TAM

SAME FOR ALL THE LILY FICS

Car Keying?? 👀

HAPPIER 2.0????? (With a happy ending orrr??? 🥺👉👈)

Am I even allowed to ask about more than one WIP? idc idc

Yesssssssss..you're allowed to ask about them all :")

alright..so.....

TAM..The Art of Misunderstanding.. :"( the fic i was writing about the TMI gang visiting India :"( *cries in i wish you could see into my brain* this is so cute and so stupid..theres a whole scene where Magnus asks Simon about how long Jace and Alec have been together and Magnus just keeps jumping to conclusions and never letting Simon get a word in to tell him those two are brothers..and all the weird groping and smoochin (they werent actually smooching) Magnus and Clary have seen was actually them being asshole big bros and teasing Izzy and him who have just recently <insert the big relationship step that i gave them and forgor> and and and....there was this scene..where they're in a luxury train..and Alec and Jace are fighting-but-not-really-fighting where Alec calls Jace by his full name.. Jonathan Christopher Lightwood Herondale..and Magnus who was passing by their door just happens to hear it..and then he goes back to the room he is sharing with Clary and is like "OH MY GOD! Biscuit..we cant tell them we like them! They're married! *cries still in style coz its Magnus Fucking Bane*" and i have a few other ideas from when i thought this fic up :"(

Lily! My beloved series! I have two ideas in work for this and a couple more still brewing..well..1st is..Hannibal pleasuring Will in bed..when his phone notification for Abigail goes off and now he's distracted coz wtf did his daughter post now..and Hannibal is like "My Love *exasperated sigh* what at work has your attention that is more important than my tongue?" and Will is like "I swear its not work! *gets a glare* its not! its our daughter! *confused scrunch* she posted something somewhere! and i! i can bet you its about us!" they see it..and its a video of them dancing in the kitchen like Hannibal did with Bedelia in Florence..and with Lily clapping for them from her play pen..and Abigail is like "How do I date when they are just down the hallway setting insanely high standards?" AND the other idea was a pre-Lily fic about Will baby talking to his tumtum and Hannibal is like *cue serious face* "Will..my love..i fear i must say this..i feel like i should handle the discipline of our child.. *gets confused scrunch* you're very gentle with her..which i fear would only get worse once she gets here..i do love them..but i dont want our child to grow up spoiled, darling" *gets a solemn nod coz Will doesnt want that either* <cut to present day..Will just got back from work> and Hannibal is busy cooking and Lily is on a high chair and Hannibal is explaining to her what all he is doing and then Lily who has a giant cake slice in front of her goes "Pa..caa'e" and Hannibal wipes his hands and comes to hand feed her..and Will is like smiling but also "discipline her my ass" This series is a fluff fest..gosh!

Car Keying..idk if you remember it coz i might have thought of it back at glitter hand..but anyway..Alec shares an apartment with Izzy..Magnus is Izzy's bestie who keeps coming over..Alec hates the car that is always parked in his spot..because that means he would park in his neighbour's spot and his neighbour always got on his back about it..he ignores it a couple of times..notes down the plate number 3rd time..keys it a lil 4th time..makes a long scar 5th time..and 6th time he is going on a date with Magnus and they reach the parking lot(Izzy took his car today..its technically their car but..yk) and Alec is like I'm gonna smash this fuckers car! and Magnus is like where did my sweet shy Alec go? and Alec is like "Omg Magnus you're so sweet..i know i shouldnt be doing this and i wouldnt but this car brings out the worst in me" and Magnus is like darling you cant damage that precious thing..its mine.. and Alec just runs upstairs in shame..forgets the lift and literally runs :P

Happier 2.0 *cue teary eyes* Will..finds Hannibal with the help of Chiyoh who stayed back before the FBI could come for Will just in case he didnt want to be left behind..which he didnt..and Will is like "IS THIS WHAT YOUR LOVE WAS" and gosh

This is what you do? This is why you wanted me? This is why you isolated me from everyone, took away anything i dared to love, JUST SO YOU COULD LEAVE ME ALONE? ARE you that easily bored of me Hannibal Lecter?

Will-

What? You left me! YOU LEFT ME! To what? Go back to where I came from? Was i this easy to discard?

I was trying to do what’s best for you

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME! STOP TRYING!

Someone gib me strength to finish them 😭😭😭😭 coz i love all my WIPs but I'm so trash at actually getting them ideas down to a docs file 😭😭

[mothpile]

"dont get me started on the other ones" 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

ok i Was goingto go off but then i remembered i think i’ve just said them All on twitter n stuff . so .    it would get repetitive . but ummmmmmmm ok

- the moment the day ends everyone is just all chill. all the scps stop being all evil n stuff bcoz they r like “oh work’s done.” and just vibe. this is why you (the manager) dont have 2 Deal with them still being out the next day. 

- on that note, afterhours usually consists of ppl just chillin. there is activities employees can do 2gether, like book club or smthing (in blue star’s lore there is a note about how these things r Encouraged n stuff SOOOOOO) . abnormalities will join in sometimes . . .

- in fact abnormalities have their own lil groups n stuff . gun trio etc etc .. after hours they hang out . they can have their Own Clubs n stuff  .  yay <3

- also want to say i hc funeral as a dumbass but dumbass in the way like “what kind of animal is pink panther” stuff like that .  i think thats fuuuunny even tho his lore is all Serious n Somber .      der frei is also a dumbass but he’s more quiet so he doesnt speak out n Reveal this as much . red has a braincell but she’ll often ignore it bcoz Attack Kill Violence. 

- speaking of red n having a brain cell, i like to imagine she’s actually like . Good with kids (laetitia, galaxy kid, etc) . kids look up to her coz she looks Soo cool and will basically listen to anything she says. if an employee tells them you shouldnt run with scissors? um cringe lol who would listen to them. oh wait shit red is telling u not to do that? oh fuck u should listen to her she is So smart n cool . 

- unfortunately bcoz all the kids think red is cool they will alwaaaays try 2 hang out with her n stuff but this is sucks for her bcoz she is trying So hard 2 be nothing but angry n stuff. “no shoo shoo go away i need to shift into violence mode stoppppppp awit wait no dont run with scissors . dont do that. you’ll only have one eye like me and then you won’t have depth perception and it sucks i keep getting fucked up thanks to it u better not lose ur eye like that.”

- ...... she also swears around kids bcoz she just rlly Doesnt care.   this makes kids think she’s even Cooler bcoz OOOOOOOO she said the BASTARD WORD.... (laetitia: wow she said the bastard word thats a Swear wow . galaxy kid: what does that even mean. laetitia: idk i was hoping u’d know) 

ok under the cut is ones u cant look at now bcoz u dont know the character ^_^ bcoz u havent met her in game <3

- queen of hatred n red meet up once when they r both suppressing an abno one day . red is left fucking speechless when she sees her bcoz “HUH ???????? HUH ????????????????????? WHAT THEFUCK IS THIS ???????????? HUH ??????????????? ANIME? HUH WUH????????” . 

- ever since then, QoH has just put red as her Sidekick / best friend bcoz Ofc ! usually heros will have their dark backstory bestie who warms up to them and stuff ^_^!

- red gets a crush on her but doenst understand bcoz “hm when she calls me her friend i feel weird about it. “  she brings this up to her trio . funeral has 2 be the one to say like “. wait so u dont Hate her or even dislike her but ur saying u ‘feel weird’ when she calls u her friend and is nice to u . um . red . i think ur gay” and red just immediately goes “. WHAT . “ . 

- red: i know how to deal with this *leaves a note at QoH’s cell that says “GET OUT OF MY FACILITY.”.

- QoH also likes red like that but she’s also just all “oh no this is Totally the Normal Way you should be feeling about your friends! it’s normal to like them romantically . right ?” and her pals (king of greed and knight of despair (who r lesbians bcoz u know what ??? i can just say that. and also think of soooo much oh my god it could b so deep but i cant explain it SORRY </3) anyways they go “ . queen ur gay” n She has her anime esk moment “omg !!!!!!! ive fallen for my bestie O//O” .

-anwyays this is Lesbians inside the facility . <3 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

like i said i’ve never dated anyone, never slept w anyone, never even really kissed anyone that i count as a proper kiss; i don’t regret this as i’ve never really wanted to date anyone and i doubt i ever will—not in the proper “romantic” context anyways. in fact nowadays the idea of being totally independent in that regards is appealing whereas the abstract concept of being with someone makes me feel Neutral - Put Off

as per kissing, i just havent happened to do that tho im not put off by the concept, exactly. its the same w having sex—i’m not against it, but i do have a lot of boundaries and i wouldnt be surprised if nobody came along at the right time that i’d be comfortable being fwb. but there’s a chance i could ever have an orgasm w someone else’s help, as i’ve never even gotten close on my own, but frankly if this never happens at all i dont really care. im just mad that i don’t have access to this basic ass thing. being able to masturbate and get an orgasm. thanks for another arbitrary shit deal that ought to be one fuckin luxury in this life

also im fine w kissing to express affection. but again; boundaries. again; not betting anyone will come along who i’ll be comfortable kissing, awesome if they do. again; dont really care much abt missing out

oh im also always annoyed abt virgin jokes. i also would not call myself or anyone else a virgin because thats a fake and shitty concept but you know. there’s really no way not to be mocked here and i’m not about to take on the burden to spend 49 min dismantling why it shouldn’t really be particularly funny or be obligated to lay out every reason i’ve never had sex to prove that i get to be exempt from being laughed at

also it doesnt help i’ve never dated anyone b/c thats like oh definitely a loser. and im fine w it myself but im not fine w other ppls shit obviously. and yeah i’ve turned people down but i shouldnt have to say so. yeah i guess its hilarious or whatever that im single. im used to all kinds of contempt based on other bare bones factoids abt you and im not about to hide anything abt myself so that i can, idk, retain the respect of total asshats

oh and then there’s the fact that i dont really drink. ive been drunk once for like five min but that was coz i was dehydrated and didnt stop to think that my first drink shouldnt be coincidentally a cocktail that i didnt even like b/c i can’t get thru a full glass of anything containing rum w/o it being just punishment and gagging at the end. nobody likes alcohol for the taste and i dont like getting drunk coz ive never had friends for social drinking and all alcohol does for me is the Depressant shit of making me even more tired. but i dont have to abstain b/c of religious or Moral High Ground reasons and yeah i’ll have a drink to be polite or b/c i came to this bar to use their tvs or whatever but most of the time i dont bother but if you say you don’t drink assholes wanna ask why for shitty reasons and for the sake of ppl who truly would not be comfortable answering that question i hate being asked it and also ive never been non-sober in other ways and don’t particularly want to but i very much despise the whole straightedge thing and gotta explain im Not That lol like. its never enough to just say you dont want to. i mean, of course it is, it should be, but people act like its not

anyways back to the never dating ppl and don’t particularly intend to ever do so—sucks becauseeeee

1) having that kind of partner is being given priority from someone in a way you probably won’t be given otherwise (*i* won’t be given otherwise, i don’t have family or longtime close friends, and i wouldnt expect or want anyone i know to have to support me this much)

2) related to that first point—all the kinds of support ppl get in a relationship, financial and emotional and all that shit. like even that simple issue of how married ppl often get a bunch of essentials as wedding gifts that a single person has to buy themselves and theyre not getting to split the rent either lol

3) related to the first and second point—you’re the extra wheel around all the Most People You Know who arent interested in being single forever. like man i third wheel even as a friend amongst friends. and im just not interested anymore. used to be more depressed abt how Never Dating Anybody means youre guaranteed to be non top tier priority to anyone but im less bothered by the idea of not getting that kind of support. i have myself to be my Number One and its never enough to make sure things are okay for you but i dont care about how little other people might care about me b/c i’m not interested if they’re not

like its not me who has a problem w me not wanting anything Romantic but its so fuckin like hammered in as the ultimate peak of humanity that there’s plenty of external bullshit with this. smh

[irregulardiaryposts]

20:27 10/01/2021 so. yes hello . i have corona looool. its not funny but it kinda is. a lot has changed since the last time i wrote and yet nothing at all has happened. its 2021 lol. its just 2020 pt 2 tho. crazy shit. i feel fine tho i dont feel ill at all. im currently looking at some art that i like and trying to find more since i wanna make a collage on my wall or something. ive always wanted a room that just feels like ME ya know. i always felt like my room didnt really show who i was because i tend to live in my head. like all of me is in my noggin instead of showing who i am through the way i dress/how my room looks/personalised things like my phone and stuff . like its never really shown what im like probably because i dont really know who i am. that feels weird to say because of course i know who i am. its a me. mario. no. lol. i really want to get into tailoring my life to ME rather than just existing ya know. like i feel as though theres no point doing anything like expressing myself because ill just end up being not bothered to finish something or ill end up not liking it so ive wasted my time. but u know what. fuck it. i wanna do thinks like that and maybe one day ill look back at when i started doing this and thank myself. thats got to be worth more than the feeling of disappointment of wasting ur time for something u dont like. coz if its not better then thats not fair. i was contemplating whether or not to actually continue this because its cringe and i dont want anyone to ever find this because i hate people knowing more about me than i let them. you only ever get to know the me i want you to. lol. i exist on my conditions. i should really put this somewhere else than on a notepad on my laptop. maybe i should create a tumblr account and upload these coz i think i could access it more privately than this. the more i think about it the better of an idea this is. i still like writing on this notepad because its familiar and allows for more expression i think . because i can make as many spelling mistakes as i want and no one can correct me. haagaHHghvsqhdbjsnbsd. anyways what was i talking about. ah yes self expression. i think ive been struggling with this because i dont like boxing myself in. and i especially hate when other people box me in . :((((((( makes me mad >:[ hehehheh anyway i have the first day of online school tomorrow ... which... yeah sucks. but i dont even know if half my teachers are actually doing it lol. i hope prelims get cancelled because i mean the exams are so why shouldnt prelims be. the thing is that i struggle with motivation so much. and its not even like "i dont want to start this massive project because it will take a lot of time and energy" its more "i cant pick up that book that is within arms reach even though i quite like the idea of reading right now and wouldnt mind getting a bit of progress done i just physically cant put my phone down and pick that up because my brain doesnt want to even though.. it does????" man am i bad at explaining. anyway i was saying that because even though i knowwww i shouldve been studying the past two weeks the only thing ive done is like.. look at some spanish and thought about things i can do in my own time to help that. but the thing is i enjoy spanish for the most part so like,,, with me enjoying the subject, wanting to learn it, and going to fking uni for it, all ive done is 20 minutes of spur of the moment writing lmao. so chemistry and maths are fked. coz i dislike chem especially. fuck that shit lol. i feel very trapped in my own head but i feel like im doing that becauese ive learned to do that for so long. its weird existing to other people especially when u didnt feel like u existed to yourself for a long time. like as though ehdjsb jhbwalkjkjbf i dont know what im saying. oh yeah the minecraft end poem almost made me cry again. im gonna read it again because i just reminded myself and im gonna come back and tell u my fave. why am i speaking to you as though u are real. like ur a person. maybe ill keep doing that. what do u think. anyway brb wait im gonna play minecarft music while i read it and maybe i can cry. "i like this player. it played well. it did not give up" "this player dreamed of sunlight and trees. of fire and water. it dreamed it created. and it dreamed it destroyed. it dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. it dreamed of shelter." "does it know we love it? that the universe is kind?" "to cure it of sorrow would destroy it. the sorrow is part of its own private task" "to tell them how to live is to prevent them living" "take a breath, now. take another. feel air in your lungs. let your limbs return. yes, move your fingers. have a body again, under gravity, in air. respawn in the long dream. there you are. your body is touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. as though we were separate things" "and why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? to see you, player. to know you. and to be known." "and the universe said i love you - and the universe said you have played the game well - and the universe said everything you need is within you - and the universe said you are stronger than you know - and the universe said you are the daylight - and the universe said you are the night - and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you - and the universe said the light you seek is within you - and the universe said you are not alone - and the universe said you are not sepsrate from every other thing - and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code - and the universe said i love you because you are love" *sobs* " and the player was the universe. and the player was love. you are the player. wake up." how was i supposed to be okay after reading that huh. honestly tho i live minecraft like its such a beautiful game i cant believe i used to be ashamed to admit i played it :/ . in the middle of that i created a tumblr account coz i got sidetracked but its good to know that tumblr doesnt have a character limit that im aware of. anyway i know thats a lot of quotes its like almost half of the entire poem but like. its beautiful tho. its really grounding and like validating? to hear some of that idk. the universe is actually fking mental tho lol and i love learning about it i think thats one of the reasons i did so well in physics is that is taking something so entirely complex and crazy into math and reason and logic so i can at least understand a little about the universe. i can know it back. maybe i am the universe. and really were just understanding ourselves. getting to know who we are and where we all came from. i think thats lovely since some people (inc me) dont really know who they are or what theyre supposed to be so its comforting to know that at the very least we are all made from atoms and we were all forged from the same galaxy and that we are a part of the universe, part of something important just by existing. that we dont have to be special or unique by anyone's standards because we are formed in the same way stars are, were all just a collection of atoms, arranged to make up something incredible, and the fact that we can understand that shows how remarkable we are just by existing. like thats it. we are amazing just because we exist at the same time as the universe, that we are the universe. and so yes physics is "just maths" but maths is a tool to explain how phenomenal our exitance actually is. yeah. wow. ok imma go watch youtube or something now. bye bye. also notice how there was like an almost 3 month gap in between writing these. yeah.

[saltyreina]

WOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW today is really not my fucking day. So to reiterate my last 2 posts, even though basically I'm just ranting to myself and no one will probs see this.

1)dad tears me a new one for not wanting to waste my fucking time when there was a perfectly easier way of doing things

2) my brother and I almost had a fist fight coz he demanded I do something and when I said say please he went off and ofc I'm not gonna let that slide so i went off. Bitch I will gouge your fucking eyes out with my fucking fingers if you yell at me for no reason one more time.

3) and now my mother. Oh dear sweet mumsy. I honestly cannot wait for you to grow old so I can stick you in a nursing home. Yall might think that's heartless of me but DAMN FUCKING HELL that woman is getting in my last nerve. If it's not constantly talking about money and wanting money and asking for money, it's the favouring my brothers over me and my sister even though we fucking do EVERYTHING for her. Our brothers dont give her fucking shit. She lives with us for FREE, as in she dont gotta work or worry abt anything coz me and my sister have it covered AND we give her money every week on top of that. And she pulls this shit:

So I've finished packing away all the plates for my brother to wash. For the first time since he moved in with us 2 months ago we've decided to put him on dishes duty instead of having him laze around like it's a goddamn hotel.

My mother: oh son, dont worry abt the dishes I'll wash them tomorrow.

Me *having flashbacks of this whole week of her yelling at me to wash the dishes and calling me nasty names and insulting basically my whole person....because of a few dishes*: *looks at her, looks at my brother, looked back at my phone and said nothing*

Mother dearest: what? He shouldnt even be washing the dishes in the first place, that's something only girls should do. You and your sister are horrible examples of girls, making your brother do the the dishes.

Me *actively trying not to lose my shit*: why shouldnt he wash the dishes? Sis cooked, I've been washing dishes all week, why shouldnt he do the dishes for once? Hes eating too.

Birthgiver: Dont talk back! You're disgusting blah blah blah, the girls do all the chores, men shouldnt do that, blah fucking blah.

Me *what age do old people enter nursing homes? Asking for a friend* : alright okay alright okay

Egg donor: you and your sister are so useless, you cant even do a few chores.

Man this shit really pisses me off. What pisses me off even more, is that my sister and I are expected to do "female roles" at home while ALSO taking on the "male role". My brother doesnt work. He doesnt pay for shit, he just sleeps all day and then fucks off with his friends to do God knows what, in a fucking PANDEMIC mind you. My sister and I are the breadwinners of our family, which is really difficult for us because on my sisters side she has a daughter that she supports and then is expeacted to support 3 other people as well. And I'm studying in university as well and have a full time job that leaves me fucking wrecked everyday trying to keep up with assignments and work and apparently all the fucking chores????!?!??!

Fuck that gender roles bullshit. It's literally disgusting of someone to expect only the women to do everything around the house that you fucking live in as well. Especially when youre a goddamn freeloader. If I didnt love my sister so much, I would move the fuck out and never have to deal with their bullshit. But since the house is under her name and she would definitely struggle by herself and have nowhere to escape and noone on her side. So yeah. Can not wait for when I can drop them off in front of a nursing home and call it a day. There is only so much emotional abuse we can take and you reap what you sow man.

Yup so thats my vent.

Tl:dr- my family fucking sucks and the only person I love is my sister and her daughter, the rest of them can rot for all I care. My dad will never respect any type of suggestion or idea that I have, my brother thinks he can talk to me however the fuck he wants and thinks I'll let him walk all over me (he was fucking wrong), my other brother thinks our house is a hotel in which he can do nothing all day while my sister and I slave away and my egg donor not only let's him, she encourages him. She is also a sexist bitch and abusive on top of it all. 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[gayphichit]

@ai-ni-tsu-i-te replied to your post “i lovvveee that art seeing victuuri in trans colors makes me weep”

Do you have any thoughts on trans viktor that you'd share if u were asked coz if so consider this an official asking

buddy my friend i ONLY have thoughts abt trans viktor. my person trans man viktor life story is as follows (lil bit of dysphoria talk maybe tw):

-prefacing this by saying i know NOTHING abt figure skating but yoi land of no homophobia means im taking an artistic license with how competitions would work and everything. 

-there are little things when hes a child that point to him being a boy, but its overshadowed by the fact that his life is figure skating. it isnt until puberty, and he realizes that there is something wrong that he needs to come to terms with. its takes a couple years of thinking and talking and having breakdowns but when he finally realizes it its very clear to him what the problem is. hes a boy but no one else knows

-viktors lesbian moms are of course very supportive of him. honestly the one thing that really stops him from being able to reconcile himself with being trans is his future career in figure skating. by 14 he obviously knows that figure skating, and being the BEST figure skater, is what he wants. he does not want to do anything to intentionally get in the way of that. he even considers holding off his transition until he retires thinking, “it isnt THAT long, ill have my career and then i can be who i am.” he very quickly releases that is no way to live and its the support of his moms that helps him realize that there is no reason to sacrifice who you are, for a career or anything else

-viktor comes out to the media and starts hormones the year before the lilac fairy/eros costume. its his last year in juniors and his first year in the mens division. everyone is expecting a big change for his programs. will he cut his hair? will he stop wearing skirts? will he be able to keep up in a different environment? the answers are no, no, and yes. viktor’s entire thing is surprises and that is what he does: he shows up with his signature long hair in a ponytail, unharmed, and a half skirt that in his own words calls upon femininity and masculinity. and he fucking dominates the competition.

-you obviously cant bind while skating so top surgery is definitely a priority. he has it done before his entrance into seniors division. tbh i dont know if top would keep you off the ice for more than off season (or even what off season is in skating) maybe he takes off a year? could he do that? would viktor do that? i dont think he would if he had a choice.

-he keeps his long hair for years after hes in seniors. he prides himself on both his appearance and his ability to surprise people and his hair does that. he LIKES having long hair. his gender shouldnt determine how he wears his hair. (QUICK SIDE NOTE: victor’s well documented fear of a thinning hairline??? STEREOTYPICAL TRANS GUY FEAR RIGHT THERE. that + his suits just hits me in the head as trans viktor evidence)

-i dont know if his eventual cutting of his hair is to do with his transness at all, especially since we dont know the age he does it. i assume it followed by some emotional ordeal tho considering do weird shit to your hair after a breakdown is gay culture across the board

-on the topic of being a public figure, theres a definite level of paranoia of being trans and that knowledge being available to everyone with a search engine. even in a world without rampant transphobia, there is a level of “is this person treating me different bc im trans? do they even know? should i tell them?” esp with potential romantic partners 

-i really dont think viktor has had much of a romantic past, bc of this and just general no time whatsoever. it isnt that he doesnt WANT it, bc hes such a romantic soul. its really really hard to date when youre trans, and id argue even harder when youre especially romantic and looking for someone to really love and be loved by. it took victor 27 years

-meeting yuuri is a curse and a blessing all at once in regard to fear of judgement for being trans. victor at least knows that yuuri knows, since hes a skater only a few years younger, so he doesnt have to worry about that, but theres still the question of “will he treat differently than he would have otherwise?”

-this is one reason that “i want you to stay who you are, viktor” on the beach is sooo vital to their relationship. being trans is so performative, and as a celebrity there’s so many other aspects of his life that are as well, and having yuuri say “i want you to be you” is a incomparable weight off his shoulders. its very easy to fall in love with yuuri after that. 

[digitalbeachrave]

I'll be voting no in the plebiscite, tell me why I should change

oh man i feel like im back years ago when i used to spend ages arguin on internet forumns about gay marriage

right, i aint gonna beg or nothin ((i dunt even know if this ask is genuine or not)) but i would urge you to seriously reconsider and vote yes on the same sex marriage plebicite

-polls show most australians are in favour of same-sex marriage ((im actually tryna find the sources coz i dont have any saved, I found the results of a VoteCompass poll which asked 350,000 people, tho theres probably better ones))

-most of the opposition to same sex marriage comes from religious viewpoints. religious views shouldnt be a basis to make law as we’re a country of many different religions and non-religious. and as a gay athiest it really rubs me the wrong way that other people’s religious views affect whether or not i’m gonna have the same rights to marry the person i love as a straight person.

-marriage is a legal contract that provides legal rights such as hospital and jail visitiation, having control over your partners legal stuff if theyre in a coma, etc, etc, it’s unjust that an opposite sex couple can get married and obtain these rights and a same sex couple cant. this is particularly important for gay couples who have kids, to know if their biological parent dies or something then the kids wont be taken away from their nonbiological parent

((im not actually read up on the current differences between marriage rights and de facto rights, i know current same sex couples can be in a legal de facto relationship. also i dont know the current laws on same sex couples being able to adopt/foster))

-treating same-sex couples as equal in the law to opposite sex couples helps establish our equality socially. it sends a message to gay and bi people if we’re treated the same as straight people under the law, that us and our sexuality and our relationships and our families are just as valued and equal as anyone elses. this is important as gay and bi people can often feel outcast and ostracised for our sexuality

-regardless of whether its legalised or not, same sex couples will continute to love each other and have sex and live together and raise children together, they just won’t have the legal safeguards that marriage brings

-honestly theres pretty much no good reason for being against same sex marriage. if youre against it for religious reasons then it being legalised still wont affect you, no one is gonna force you to enter a same-sex marriage, and no one is advocating that churchs be forced to perform them. but making it legal will affect gay and bi people positively

-most other western countries have it legalised, and so do increasing number of nonwestern countries. not only does this make us look bad on the social rights front in comparison, it may affect tourism ((which is a decent part of australian economy)), for instance if you were a gay british or american or whatever married couple who wanted to travel down under, why would you pick australia, which doesnt recognise your marriage and partnership, over new zealand, which does?

[changhomin-hatsukoi]

Cr: Ocearielle

Uh.. what can be said bout this week’s malec~

- obviously the dinner scene was super cute and domestic. We also found out that Alec literally has zero poker face. Boy~ you can’t look more suspicious if you jump on the table and shouting out loud ‘Secret? What secret?’while doing the hula dance half naked~! XD

-  Again, i love how Alec cupped the side of Magnus’s head when kissing him.

- Seriously though~ how convenient it is to have a warlock as your boyfriend? Late for your dinner date and the restaurant already close? no problemo~ let me just magicked an impromptu fancy office picnic in a jiffy.

- Magnus trusted Alec implicitly. That’s what made it hurts so much. He never even entertained the idea that Alec might already knows until Luke mentioned it. And even then, he didn’t believe it.

- By the way, Magnus’s face when he said ‘absolute, total honesty’ to Alec? am i the only one who thought ‘oh shit..’ #ripalecsballs2k17 

- I.. actually like their arguing scene. Alec trying to shush Magnus when his voice got loud was funny.. and so real.. lol.. 

- Alec sweetie~ when you say stuff like ‘lets not be overdramatic’ or ‘lets not make it personal..’ when your partner is hurting.. that.. was really.. just not good, okay.. It invalidate the other person’s feeling. Like you’re saying what they’re feeling isn’t important.. like they’re being ridiculous.. YOU might think that way. But it’s not your call to tell someone that you didn’t hurt them when they told you, you did. 

- Has Luke been waiting inside Magnus’s loft all that while? lol..

- Luke is the dad to Simon, Maia, Magnus and Alec.. lol.. (not Clary anymore coz that girl never once said Luke is her family too.. AND she only sees him when she wants something >.>.. Let Simon be Luke’s youngest adopted child!)

- Oh, and I do agree that Seelie Queen might be the strongest as she lives for thousands of years already

******* 

OKAY.

I’ve read some fans are angry at Alec: 

- he should trusts Magnus more

- he shouldn’t follow The Clave orders 

- he shouldn’t scold Magnus when he was at fault in the first place

Some are angry at Magnus.

- he is selfish

- he makes this all about himself. He wants Alec to focus on him only

- he doesn’t understand Alec’s difficult position as the Head of the Institute

- he shouldn’t be so sensitive

I~... kinda disagree and agree with both.

I mean, I’m not angry at Alec nor Magnus. Coz i think their reactions were normal given their circumstances. It all depends on whose pov you look at.

Alec:

- he IS the leader of Institute. he IS bound to The Clave orders. There’s this thing called accountability, so he can’t simply just do whatever he wants no matter how right he thinks they are. PLUS, the secret was told to him by Robert. So by all means, even Alec wasn’t supposed to know. he has to think about the pros and cons of every single actions he plans to take before doing them. And if i’m not mistaken, it wasn’t like he knows about the secrets weeks before.. I bet in the show, it was only couple of days that he got to know about it. Magnus just got back from meeting the Seelie Queen. So this dinner was the first time they met each other after that. 

I honestly don’t think Alec has enough time to processed it fully, let alone think about sharing to with Magnus. For one thing, does he tells Magnus only or ALL the Downworlder leaders.. If he told them, would they keep the secret or would they cause a riot? Transparency.. does that means with Magnus only or with everyone? What is The Clave got to know about it, would Robert be in trouble? 

And tbh, i think part of Alec doesn’t want to tell Magnus is also due to his upbringing. Yes, he is in a relationship with a Downworlder now.. but that can’t quite erase the 20+ years of lessons that Downworlders are savages compare to those of Angel’s blood.. that all Downworlders are untrustworthy and incapable of being rational. 

Magnus:

- Like he said, Valentine wants all of them (Downworlders) dead. So yes, they do have the right to know that the weapon that could obliterate them is currently with their enemy and not being kept safely with the so-called police of the Shadow world. 

Think it like this, if there’s a big ass meteor coming towards earth right now that will kill us all, wouldn’t we have the right to know? Regardless of the fact that the government might think otherwise (’We don’t want everyone to panic’.. sounds familiar?). It’s our lives we’re talking about here.. of course we have the right to know what’s going on. 

I think one of the reasons Magnus is super angry was because he trusted Alec, he defended the Shadowhunters to other Downworlders because of that trust. What would happen if other Downworlders got to know about this? Magnus is the highly respected High Warlock.. what would happen if his own people wont trust him because they think his judgement is clouded by his relationship with Alec? 

I also think Magnus kinda used his past experience with other Shadowhunters against Alec sometimes. Just as Alec is subconsciously fell back on his upbringing in dealing with Downworlders, a small part of Magnus could judge Alec a bit too quickly based on the fact Alec is a Shadowhunter. He knows Alec is different but at the same time he is scared what if Alec is the same as them others afterall..?

- I think given time, Alec would be an amazing and great leader. he would know when not to follow The Clave blindly, how to maneuver his way between keeping The Clave off his back and keeping the peace with the Downworlders. It is very unfortunate that all this Valentine thing happens just when Alec took over the Institute (which btw, they shouldnt let Alec take over yet and maybe a more experienced leader sould be in charge - someone that we dont care getting screwed over by the Clave.. and let Alec be the leader when everything calms down and valentine/sebastian out of the picture) and making him looks bad. 

- I don’t think Magnus is being selfish or overly sensitive in getting angry at Alec. I think it is full well in his right to feel betrayed - as Alec’s boyfriend and also as Warlock leader who decided before to put his trust into this so-called new management. I think it is okay and NORMAL for Magnus to be livid and went off on a tantrum because regardless his years of living, he has that right to show how angry he was. Magnus has always been the gentler one of the two so it’s good for him to let off steam once in a while. 

- HOWEVER, i hope once he calms down.. he would see that Alec truly never meant to hurt him. That Alec really doing what he thought best. That it was INEXPERIENCE (both for the job and in relationship) that led Alec to make mistakes, NOT because he deliberately wanting to hurt Magnus and he doesn’t care about Magnus or other Downworlder. 

- No, Alec real~~ly shouldn’t say ‘lets not make it personal’ when Magnus was telling and showing him how upset he was with Alec. The same as Alec should not said ‘lets not be overdramatic’ to Magnus before.. 

I’m not saying he’s a horrible boyfriend (Seriously, he is the best boyfriend in the entire Shadow World universe right now...). BUT he really should learn how to communicate with his partner better.. like what NOT to say and do and when to shut up when your partner is angry at you.. ^^;;;  

[sassymariposa]

Girls 2k19

I have been wanting to rant about this issue on Twitter but it seems to be too mainstream so I think I will just let it out here since nobody could be bothered about this BUT still I need to rant (me being me 🤷‍♀️😂). So basically, me being a feminist I believe that girls should keep supporting each other instead of dragging one another down. You know what I mean? Yes, that is what I mean! We are already in 2k19, girls. At least, grow up! What actually happened was I stumbled upon this one familiar girl's account on Twitter (I know I got triggered easily on Twitter, mayn I get it 😂). We know each other and we sorted of having some bad history in the past but somehow we managed to talk about it and getting over it in a very professional way. Dont get me wrong. I love her, even adored her way of getting our conflict resolved before coz I kinda screwed her up but she approached me in a good way to solve that issue #salute But when I read her tweets, I was quite shook of her way calling another girl out. For me, it is kinda rude and a girl like her (she is very graceful) at least shouldnt say that. Then, I was upset for a moment then I was like okay girl maybe you are mad now I get it. Then a little while later, I saw another stranger on Twitter also doing the same thing which was calling out and dragging down another girl which truly hurt me. It is ffs 2k19 already and why are you girls behaving this way? Well at least if you really need to drag one another, could you please not doing that in public? It kinda shameful to read and see this kind of behaviour. But then again, nobody could be bothered. Everyone has their own reasons and perspective and it is their rights also. I should not be bothered by this, right? 💆‍♀️ Das ist alles. Danke for those who actually spared some time reading this 😂🙇‍♀️

[miya-k]

Katsucon Day 02

- Saturday! Of course my mom didn’t tell me what time we should be awake or time we need to get to the bus for the tour and we were running late. Rushed mornings makes me cranky and I hate it. So with the rushing we were actually an hour early for the bus….yay waiting time. I really don’t mind waiting but as long as I’m doing something else…not just sitting still. We got to do a bit of touring but she just wants to do what she wants…or go to places she couldn’t go last time. Hello? Me??? First timer here. I wanna look around and take pictures for my own memories??? I couldn’t even use my gopro to do self portraits without her commenting something that’ll make me…not in the mood.

The trolley stops every 30mins so we have that time to look around. She wanted to be early so we won’t miss it…..early meant sitting and waiting again. That’s not touring if I’m just sitting and waiting…..I just can’t. I wanted to see Thomas Jefferson statue coz HELLO?! PHOTO OPPORTUNITY?! But she wants to do Smithsonian since she missed it last time. Ayyyaaaahhh. At this point, I definitely want to go back and travel in my agenda.

She wanted to see other museums and we were in a long line. She then changed her mind to go to the next museum so we can keep on moving. Luckily it’s the museum I’ve been looking for coz Yayoi’s exhibit will be there. And it gives me an idea how I can travel when I see her exhibit. Oh my…she did not let me enjoy my walk around the exhibit. I was checking out the shop for Yayoi and mentally planning her other exhibits so I won’t forget. She kept tugging me to go to next area and take pics of her. Oh boy…this part she stepped over the line where it let’s you know if you’re too close to the art. Some guards yelled at her to step out and such. Goodness. All for pictures I tell you. Asian parents. After this…my touring trip just keeps going down the hill. I couldn’t enjoy my museum visit.

Off to next museum….she thought it would be close to Smithsonian but apparently it’s a lot farther away smh. We were at Stop 7 and Smithsonian is at Stop 13. We skipped the other stops which made me feel….bleh coz they’re also something I’d like to see. Sigh Oh well….mental note here to see them.

Boy we got to Smithsonian and line was hella long. Shouldn’t be surprised since it is the Smithsonian and free admissions. After eating lunch here, we split ways coz she wants to see the diamond and gems…uhm I thought she hasn’t been here and why just the gems??? Anywhooo, I definitely took my time to check things out. Can’t get the Night of Museum movie as I walk around. Slowly my mood is getting better coz of the movie references!! Reading some of the fun facts of artifacts are interesting….I’ve actually read or know them from somewhere. From my history classes and from other museums I’ve visited! Ah the photography exhibit was beautiful. I loved all the photos! Some photographers must be so patient to get that perfect moment of capture. Made me want to go back to photography and give myself another shot to try it (pun intended pfft)

Okay I still have about 2 or 3 more areas to explore when my mom called me sayiing she’s done and waiting on me. I felt rushed now to go through the remaining areas. And it was the gems and diamonds area….didn’t help when there’s also a line around and it’s harder for me to do a quick check so I skipped a lot of them. i gave up checking out the other parts so i can meet up with her. We left the museum to wait for the trolley bus to take us back but we dont know if they already passed or how long we’d wait. Decided to walk about 10 minutes to the 1st Stop and found out we missed the bus to take us to the hotel for about 5mins. The next bus to take us would be an hour and a half. I wasnt planning to sit and wait again so i left and started walking around downtown to kill time. heck...i found a photography store with all Leica! I’m pretty sure i was couple blocks away already when I got a call from mom saying she called uber and i need to hurry back (urgh the frustration) i don’t want to get into more of this coz it was just so frustrating on the way back to the con. 

- finally got to the room and i changed into Dva casual with my mom making comments as to why i take so long to put on make up and everything...blah. I just want to see Overwatch cosplayers and take photos...and enjoy my night at katsu. 

 - we totally separated from this point and my goodness my mood has gotten better. Running into cosplayers and asking to take selfies with them was so fun. I know I have a lot to learn with communicating coz i can feel my face turn red after speaking with them. Like it shouldnt be hard since i’ve been a con-goer since high school????? I was definitely determined to find Jii again...coz he said he’ll be in Junkrat all day saturday. about 20 minutes later, i found him with other awesome amazing Lucio, RG (i gave a nickname to Roadhog because i’m a dork like that) and Dva! 

- Then Darin de Paul, the VA of Reinhardt, showed up in the middle and I freaked out! I want to take pictures or video with him!!!! I couldnt make up my mind to which one so i kept switching back and forth on apps! When I decided to take a video, he stated his voice is starting to crack on his last video with a fan, so i opted with just a photo instead. He’s super nice and loves all the Overwatch fans...I wanted to cry seeing him and other OW cosplayers. The past 10 minutes were amazing and nothing can top it so i decided to call it a night haha.