#but i don't want to leave out any of it
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Hyun-su and Wui-myeong's dynamic on the first three episodes of season 2 does give both Grimmichi and Aishin vibe for me
The homoerotic tension, the bloody brawling, the mutual insulting, the mind games, the struggle for dominance, the strong ego of both sides
Can't wait for season 3
#am i really the only one here who shipped this toxic yaoi of sweet home?#sweet home 2#sweet home season 2#sweet home netflix#sweet home#cha hyun su#cha hyun soo#cha hyunsu#cha hyun-su#cha hyun-soo#jung wuimyeong#jung wui-myeong#jung wui myeong#jung ui myeong#jung ui-myeong#jung uimyeong#I'm gonna cry this is too much variations#but i don't want to leave out any of it#ui myeong x hyun su
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There are multiple gods in the game that you can directly interact with and they all have ties to the narrative. You can interact with Shar via Shadowheart. You can interact with Mystra via Gale. You can interact with Myrkul via Ketheric when he takes on the avatar form. You can interact with Bhaal via Durge and in the fight with Orin. You can interact with Bane after killing Gortash and using "Speak with Dead" in which the soul you speak to is not Gortash, but Bane himself. I would include Vlaakith in this list but Vlaakith is not a god, she is a lich presenting herself as a god. And, of course, there is the Absolute which doesn't really become a god until it ascends into the Netherbrain (although that is debatable).
But, did you know that Lolth will also interact with you? As far as I am aware, Lolth is the only non-story related god in which you do have interactions with. One of them is only available if you are a Lolth-sworn drow, and the other is only available if you are a Cleric of Lolth (you do not need to be Lolth-sworn for it).
The first instance is in the goblin camp with the spiders in the pit. This does require that you are a Lolth-sworn drow and that you have the ability to speak with animals. When talking to the spiders, you will have the option to present yourself to the spiders as Lolth herself. If you fail the persuasion check, Lolth gets pissed off as she was listening to you and is not happy that you tried to present yourself as her. And she tells the spiders you are an imposter and they attack you. But if you succeed the check, Lolth doesn't do anything and the spiders will think you are Lolth. So, Lolth doesn't really have a problem with you pretending to be her. But if you are going to pretend to be her, you better do it right. If the spiders think you are Lolth, you can ask them about what's going on in the goblin camp and the spiders only talk about one thing. They immediately tell you that there is another drow in the camp who has forgotten her way and that she is forsaken. And, as I said, Lolth is here. She heard the spiders admit this. Lolth does nothing about it.
The second instance is in the Underdark with the Phalar Aluve. When you interact with the sword, you have two different checks, a Strength check and a Religion check. If you do the Strength check, you can just pull it out of the stone and be on your merry way. If you perform the Religion check, the narrator will tell you different things depending on certain conditions. If you are a Lolth-sworn drow and/or a Cleric of Lolth, the narrator will tell you that the religious rite to pull the blade from the stone is blasphemous as it pays honor to the weak. If you are of any other race and/or cleric of any other god, the narrator will tell you that the sword is of Eilistraee and the rite pays honor to the fallen. The religious rite is that you spill a little bit of your blood and the sword will rise out of the stone on its own. If you do this as a Cleric of Lolth (you don't need to be Lolth-sworn) you will feel hundreds of spiders crawl all over you as Lolth is warning you not to do shit like that ever again. Not only did you perform the religious rite of another god, you performed the religious rite of a god she hates. And she is letting you know how much she hated that.
These are the only two instances in the game that I have found in which Lolth interacts with the player but there are plenty of other moments in which Lolth could interact with you, but doesn't (such as with the Phase Spider, the baby spiders in Grymforge, Kar'niss, or the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar). Of these two moments where Lolth does interact with you, one of these instances is in the goblin camp, and the other is in the Underdark not too far away from the goblin camp. I don't think it is much of a coincidence that these two interactions occur in close proximity to Minthara. Almost as if Lolth has a reason to be in that area specifically to watch and monitor things, and you just so happened to be there. And the only things that compel her to interact with you is because you pissed her off. But, as long you don't piss her off, she will do nothing and she will say nothing.
When Minthara was being tortured by the Absolute, she prayed to Lolth and begged Lolth to give her the strength to fight her enemies. But Lolth does nothing and Lolth says nothing. In fact, that was the full extent of Lolth's "punishment" for Minthara, nothing. All Lolth did was not answer Minthara's prayers and not show up when Minthara needed her the most. Lolth did not torture Minthara like the Absolute did, Lolth did not turn her into a drider, nor did Lolth eat her. All she did, was nothing. And yes, Lolth is known for abandoning drow and no longer interacting with them. A drow has to do something incredibly awful in order for Lolth to just back away from them entirely. But you cannot convince me that Lolth is going to let one of her Baenre's go so easily. It's not as if Minthara has done anything truly awful either to make Lolth that mad.
According to Minthara, she herself has sinned against the Spider Queen, but it's not as if she chose to abandon Lolth, she was forced away and mind controlled into being devoted to another god. But would this make a difference to Lolth? Does it really matter if Minthara was compelled to have faith in another god besides Lolth? It isn't until Minthara is freed and feels the absence of Lolth that she chooses to no longer follow Lolth. Minthara even mentions how turning against Lolth is a big no-no in Menzoberranzan. Minthara herself at one point has hunted down and killed those who turn their backs from Lolth so she knows the same will be done to her if she were to ever return home. In fact, if you are a Lolth-sworn drow or a Cleric of Lolth, you are given unique dialogue options with Minthara to kill her because she is a traitor to Lolth and these options continue to show up until you recruit her into your party and she joins your roster. Despite all of this, Lolth does nothing. Minthara spews anti-Lolth rhetoric left and right, and Lolth does nothing. If you take Minthara to the tabernacle, she will spit on a shrine to Lolth, and Lolth does nothing.
Minthara is also able to walk through the Gauntlet of Shar, which is in the Underdark, and Lolth does nothing. Sure, you could argue that its connection to the Shadowfell and the fact that Shar is there via Shadowheart is enough to keep Lolth away. The lore of DnD does not make it quite clear what the relationship between these two goddesses are. But I am willing to bet that Lolth is smart enough not to step on Shar's toes because Shar would annihilate her. However, there is a small little section of the Gauntlet where it actually does spit you out directly into the Underdark and into Lolth's territory. Minthara can walk right out there just fine, and Lolth does nothing.
But most importantly, Minthara's default ending is her returning to the Underdark with the sole purpose of destroying House Baenre and then killing Lolth. Destroying House Baenre could lead to a chaotic and political disaster in Menzoberranzan, and Lolth does nothing. Minthara quite literally wants to kill Lolth and has intentions to do so after taking House Baenre, and Lolth. Does. Nothing!
If Minthara goes into the Underdark and destroys House Baenre, this will cause chaos and death. And the Baenre's won't be the only ones she has to destroy, but any and all allies of House Baenre in which they do have a lot. And Lolth will feed off of all the death and carnage and chaos that Minthara is about to bring to Menzoberranzan because Lolth loves chaos more than she hates traitors.
Maybe, Lolth has not abandoned her as Minthara thinks she has. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara has not actually upset her. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara is already doing everything Lolth wants her to do. And all it took, was making Minthara think that Lolth abandoned her. There was no need for Lolth to answer Minthara's prayers, because Minthara always had the strength to fight her enemies.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#this game is all about the cycles of abuse and the characters choosing to break the wheel or continue the cycle#minthara is an example of someone who continues to cycle because she doesn't see that there is any other option#and the alternatives leave her vulnerable to abuse or death#she has had enough abuse in her life and most certainly does not want to die#when presented with the opportunity to rebound - either through bhaal or the absolute#she will choose it in a heartbeat as it is all she knows and she's familiar with it#if lolth ever speaks to minthara again - and welcomes and embraces her with open arms#i think minthara would completely relapse and devote herself once more to lolth because it is all she knows#and she expresses missing lolth and not knowing who she is or what to do without her#the only things that can pull minthara away from this relapse is you and her devotion to you#you are the only thing that can stop her from going back to lolth or embracing any of the other gods out of fear#because you are her reason to stay on the surface and you show her it is possible to defy the gods and live#you show her it is possible to have an identity outside of godly worship and that it is possible to live for one self#and to be devoted to one self#if you go with her to the underdark and successfully conquer house baenre and make your own house in its place#she's doing it entirely for the two of you#and i don't think she would accept lolths embrace and would continue to defy her
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"the Gabe and Sally dynamic in the show is abusive" and "the way they've portrayed Gabe in the show is distinctly different from his book counterpart and fans can criticize that" are two discussions that can coexist
#I understand that this is hard topic to navigate#but me saying that /they've changed Gabe and that's consequently altered the dynamic he has with Sally in way I don't like/#is NOT me saying I don't think what they've portrayed onscreen is non-abusive#or that I WANT to see him abuse her???#its just the guy in the show while clearly controlling and abusive (emotionally and financially so far)#...I don't believe he's the guy who's presence was so horrid and disgusting MONSTERS avoided him#I wouldn't call him /Smelly/#in the book his abuse (all forms) is much more overt#(and just to be painstakingly clear: abuse doesn't have to be overt to be abuse)#but the guy in the show does not have the same presence as the guy in the book#book Gabe is menacing#he growls and he threatens and both Sally and Percy have developed very specific responses to deal with it#I've seen one take saying that people can't recognize the abuse in the show because its not physical (yet?)#but even disregarding the physical abuse entirely#if you compare the book scene and TV show scene of Percy arriving home and he and Sally readying for Montauk#there is a pretty stark difference in tone#and in how both Sally and Percy interact with Gabe#in the book Sally goes out of her way to avoid /provoking/ Gabe and asks Percy to do the same until they can leave for Montauk#and Gabe is just itching for any excuse to keep them home#and imo if Book Sally had said the things that show Sally did to Gabe#Gabe wouldn't have let them gone!#and again im not saying that the show's depiction is nonabusive#or unrealistic#im saying its simply /different/ than the book#and im upset that it doesn't feel like dynamic depicted the book#and no book sally is no simpering wilting flower#but she's also not what they depicted in the show either#pjo adaptation#sally jackson#pjo
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red earth and pouring rain - bear's den (x)
#royjamiekeeley#roy kent#jamie tartt#keeley jones#ted lasso#tedlassoedit#roy x jamie#royjamie#roy x keeley#roykeeley#jamie x keeley#roy x keeley x jamie#*#this song would not leave my head until i came up with the idea for this edit#(no discourse singling out any one character or pairing pls i don't want that in my notes)
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It is genuinely not surprising that Ashton has such a strong The Gods Are Going To Kill Us take on the situation, given what they specifically have seen and what they have to relate to. They're about two weeks out from 1.) getting done violence onto them by an angel and then 2.) being told they have a bit of a dead thing that the gods tried to kill inside them. Then they go and put a lot of effort into getting that dead scrap to wake up (with disastrous consequences illustrating how incredibly volatile its power is). Then they have their only religious friend blow up in front of them. Then they watch a movie trilogy where the only non-god main character is another earth genasi broken-walking-timebomb whose main purpose on the mission is to explode when the gods need him to. They don't see the Lawbearer weep for her son, they only see the Emissary, a child, crying because he's afraid to die. Then they go to Vasselheim, the city of the gods, and see the corpse of a Titan, the dead thing the gods killed, yanked out of the earth and puppeted by one wannabe god and now desecrated in death by the overconfident followers of all the others. They're making something beautiful out of it, they're living on it, and normally he'd be in favor of that but they don't even know its name. They're building new temples on the corpse of the old world, hollowing it out and starting fresh, and Ashton is a part of that old world. They cannot stop being connected to a power the gods seem to, at best, be willing to weaponize. That would make anyone paranoid; given their background it's impressive that he's not more combative, tbh.
#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#critical role#ashton greymoore#bells hells#you don't have to agree with it for it to be consistent characterization!#you try telling someone with any history with organized crime that a group of immense power and resources might want them dead#or might want to use them for their own ends#and also there's nothing you can do about it and you can't escape because that's just fate#they're going to wriggle! especially if they just tasted what self-determination might feel like#the same goes for imogen honestly#gelvaan seems like a fairly religious town but relvin seems like much more of an isolated loner than the snapshot we got of him showed#house in the middle of nowhere works with animals willing to leave with his weird wife#i do buy that imogen was brought up cut off from local faith based communities and her attempts at connecting with gods were glancing#vague prayers thrown out at whoever she could remember but assigned more value in hindsight
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fr can't believe d*sney is trying to twist my arm into watching m*rvel content again 🙄 (in the good year of our lord 2024 no less)
like bruv🤨 wasn't making kathryn hahn your lead enough🤨 nooo, ofc u had to make her a canon sapphic, cast aubrey plaza as her love interest*, throw patti lupone in there, & make it a goddamn musical?
seems a little desperate to me, but u do u boo ig 🤷♀️
(am i still going to watch it? probably. am i also going to hate every minute of it? most likely. ffs i'm not even healed from how caos fumbled the bag yet ☠️🙏🫡)
*((btw i see you 10y+ age gap catering to my m*lf k*nk specifically, i fucking see you))
#agatha harkness#agatha all along#agatha spoilers#agatha x rio#kathryn hahn#patti lupone#aubrey plaza#do not come for me for hating m*rvel besties it's called having taste :)#(jk like i have any taste to begin w/)#tl;dr i fucking hate it here#this feels like a hate crime targetting me specifically >:(#plus i do not trust either d*sney or m*rvel to not bury another round of gays#ig i will focus solely on angry middle aged lesbians making out and/or (b)eating tf out of each other#and joe locke shopping @ hot topic with his adopted mum#plot? who is she i don't know her#i just want kathryn hahn & her coven-slash-polycule to raise their gay son in peace leave me be 😌
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AU where when Kathony announces they're leaving again, Ben, Hyacinth and Gregory elect to go with them to India both to share in Kathony's experience and to get away from Lady Whistledown
#Kathony#Bridgerton#And everyone in the family keeps making excuses#to keep away from home#so they don't have to interact with fbc and their baby#cause the bridgertons would NOT be okay with the reveal#Colon would have to say#fine#pen and I will leave#cause Violet keeps lamenting she never sees any of her children anymore#except for the one son that married the woman#with the power to ruin her family#Pen would not care that her marriage is causing a bridgerton rift#cause she doesn't care about anyone but herself#eventually colon has to run away with his son#Lord featherington#and Colon comes back to the family#after promising now he'll never remarry#cause his ass can't be trusted with romance#anti penelope featherington#anti polin#Kate teaches Colon how to fill out a money ledger too#Cause Anthony has him on a strict allowance#really only the bare essentials for him and then anything the baby boy wants#cause then Colon can't get scammed again
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.
#obviously i am Thrilled with all the buddie goodness we got this ep#but one thing about this whole eddie/chris storyline that is driving me absolutely UP THE WALLS#is that there has just been absolutely Zero realistic communication about any of it from the audience's perspective#we don't hear anything about logistics in the moments where chris is actually leaving#(about how long he'll be gone for/if it's just for the summer/etc etc)#which whatever fine tim wanted it to be dramatic#but still in season 8 we don't know if there's been any discussion with chris OR helena and ramon about when/if he should be coming home#like you can infer if you want that the diaz parents have no intention of giving up chris and this was the plan all along#but tbh even that is largely extrapolation on the fandom's part bc they haven't told us anything!!!!!!#two facetimes and three conversations eddie's had with people that Aren't his parents is not enough!!!!#and i know it's the Eddie Diaz Routine(tm) to jump to the most extreme possible conclusion re him moving back to el paso#but WHY have we gotten no indication at all that he's attempted to talk this out with chris at some point in the last 5 months???????????#the dust settled a long time ago and eddie has Always been so good at talking to chris even when it's a difficult subject#i refuse to believe we're in last resort territory i'm sorry askdfjhsa#i want to write something about it but there's so much to tackle i don't even know where to start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway yes i know i was the one pointing out last week that storylines 8 seasons in are not going to be top notch but that doesn't negate#my frustration aksdjfhsih#tbd
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Idk if this is going to make any sense, but I always feel like there's something missing when I read thoughts about sskk and it really is the impact Kyouka has on them.
Like, a lot of it is "look at the impact Atsushi and Akutagawa have on each other" and "they are so similar at their cores" which is true! And essential for any bsd partner dynamic! But Kyouka also has commonalities - she has Atsushi's general wonder, simple wants and joys, and desire to be helpful and kind, but also Akutagawa's laser focused objectivity, initial lack of questioning orders, and straightforward ruthlessness when required.
But a lot of the external influence on sskk I see mentioned is Dazai and Chuuya's... which I get, because they're the previous double black, but also Chuuya is very minorly involved by proxy only, and while Dazai undeniably is at the heart of sskk conflict (and it's good to analyze in depth!!!), I feel it's understated how much it was actually Kyouka who kickstarted the development between them - Atsushi was brand-new to the Agency, but saving Kyouka cemented his mindset of proving his worth and also gave him someone to look out for - his position became less fragile from that point on and more permanent. Her mix of kindness and darkness also forces Atsushi in the Guild arc to reassess the idea that people are either "good" or "bad". (He's working on this still, but his judgements are becoming much more nuanced than at the beginning.) And as for Akutagawa... I have a lot of thoughts on their dynamic and how I really don't think there's a whole lot of bad blood there anymore after my all-time favourite scene where they fight in Cannibalism arc - but all I will say is that he legitimately thought what he was doing would make her strong enough to survive, and both Kyouka and Atsushi telling him this is wrong, that people can't live being beaten down like that forces him to reassess his own situation in the Hawthorne and Mitchell fight. (He still has a ways to go, but I seriously hope he eventually realizes that his treatment by Dazai was horribly unnecessary and cruel.)
But what's great is that Atsushi and Akutagawa influence her development too! I don't even need to get into Atsushi's: he believes in her potential and sees her as the young girl she is - not a weapon but a person. She starts off pretty much attached to him and only him, but as time goes on, she starts to adopt a more positive mindset and becomes more confident making decisions as a result of his faith in her. With Akutagawa, she is, like Atsushi, forced to reassess others, especially after he tells her he's glad for her having found that will to live. Kyouka is unable to continue fighting him after that, and I get the sense she saw him as a person there, instead of only the man who harmed her. I also find it really interesting that she has no shame or concern about her mindset aligning much more closely with his, to the point where she'll work with him if necessary.
This is a bit of a mess but really it's one long-winded ramble on how I loved these three working together in Dead Apple and would love to see them working and fighting alongside each other again. I know, I know, this is probably not going to happen because it's supposed to be about sskk as a duo but consider:
They are a trio in my heart.
#the fighting style approach could also be really interesting. sskk relies on atsushi as offense and akutagawa as defense#but this often leaves akutagawa more vulnerable#kyouka is perfectly equipped to be the 'midfielder' in a sense#also if anyone has any good fic recs with these three working together i would love to see it#also also kyouka and akutagawa foil characters real#this whole thing might be one reason why i was a bit disappointed about kyouka's role in beast tbh... like it made sense but also#i think more could've been done with her#but that's a whole different thing that i don't really want to get into#anyways let's analyze all these characters together because foiling abounds:#atsushi lucy sigma tachihara kyouka akutagawa#also they should all hang out i think.#bsd#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#bsd kyouka#shin soukoku#sskk#potentially it could be kyouka who comes across vampire akutagawa and that would be a very interesting confrontation.#fingers crossed because i am fascinated by their dynamic
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bozo dubbed over dubbed over
#video#elevenlabs#i've been fucking obsessed with these stupid fucking elevenlabs dubbed videos#specifically a friend sent me a ytp sexer dub and i absolutely lost it (laughing)#so i wanted to try a few videos out myself to see what the site would do with them#for some reason my first thought was to use bozo dubbed over#''i... i...... i.... ah..... i hope nobody leaves'' fucking killed me#i only did like 5 videos to see what it'd end up generating but usually if the audios too clear it'll just repeat what was said#except in the ai voices that it uses#the second video i did was just bozo dubbed over again. but that version is like really evil for no reason#third video was hotel mario high quality. and it basically says what they already say but with weird annunciations and the likes#fourth video being meet the sniper. it wasnt exactly what i wanted but it did alter a few lines#the final one just being hotel mario again but lower quality. which did result in me laughing really hard#granted. all of them made me laugh really hard to some extent#for the record. i didnt do any alterations except just make it dub from english to english#i don't know if there's more you can do with it. i don't think i can make any more without making a new account#unless the limit resets every week or so
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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All it takes is a wee little nightmare to make you too scared to step foot outside for fear of Bad Things happening, like it’s an omen lol
#also it is p o u r i n g outside and it takes me an hour and fifteen minutes to commute to campus#i'm a good little student but sometimes i just can't be assed#esp with all the crazy stuff that's been happening on public transit and on my campus for that matter#i'm just getting a bad vibe today [insert empath meme here]#warning for me complaining about a graphic nightmare!!!!:#had a few stress dreams(?) last night but one particularly violent one in which a woman got run over by a streetcar--#--and the paramedics were moving people along but i accidentally got a really good look at her and it fucked me up#she looked like she was just sleeping peacefully but i could only really make out the top half of her body#probably because the bottom half was... yeah.#i think i also had another dream that i was being hunted by a sniper?? and they had called my cell and were threatening me + my folks?#and another one where i had to hide some children from... i don't really know what. some dangerous person who wanted to kill all of us#but the kids wouldn't leave me even though i begged them to.#yeah just a normal collection of dreams for me. literally ugh.#i don't even think i'm stressed in my life rn??#not any more than normal lol
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
#I'm not leaving the fandom btw! Just realized it kinda sounds like I will but I won't!#Still got my fem versions and some animations to spice things up in case I feel less inclined to draw my resident skeles lol#To the people that reached out before this thank you SO much!!!#I know this is not gonna reach many people considering my leave but i deeply appreciate it<3#I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot why they even followed me in the first place with how long I've left this time Hhhh#There's some plans about commissions as well cause no matter how many times I fix this poor pc it keeps failing me lmao#And I wanna try my hand at it to feel less pressured and dependent on my academics :')#It's a scary thought and an even scarier process and idk if you guys will be interested? but that's for another post ig >:)c#muah muah ily all thanks for EVERYTHING cause I'd restart this blog all anew if I didn't have so many people that I'd miss around here >:'D#blah blah Yuri is back on her bs so get ready for some banger art!!#To any mutual reading this pleaaaase bear with me if I don't reblog your art immediately#cause I've been tagged on a few and I wanna give them five tags each at minimum and I don't know where to start HHH#If there's something specific you want me to see you're welcome to tag me In it but don't be discouraged I haven't gotten to it yet!#This is So long I'm genuinely sorry aughghg 😭
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I've been thinking about Fig's possible exit at the end of this season, and as much as it makes me sad, I do think it opens up interesting character arcs. Because, being honest? I don't really see Fabian and Kristen wanting to go to college either. Never ever separating after high school is much more Riz's dream than anyone else's. Also, it's not like they'll stop being friends – they can't even really drop out of contact with the whole parent polycule situation, and Gorgug being on Fig's band. And in TUC2, it was clear that Rowan was still part of the dream team even when not actively going on missions with them. I do think it would be very interesting to see the Bad Kids realizing that they don't have to stay adventuring together to stay friends, and that in fact their goals for adult life can be very different from one another. A lot about this season has been about academic stress and how the Bad Kids are forced to keep saving the world with no real reward, and I think it's fair if some – or all – of them decide they deserve some rest.
#i really really don't want Fig to leave bc I love her dearly#but in the end of the day that decision is not only out of our hands but probably already made months ago by Brennan and Emily#and honestly I don't think we would even be getting Senior Year in any sort of near future. so who know what could change#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#figuroth faeth#fig faeth#the bad kids
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I wish I were normal :[
#idk I just wish I was normal kid who lived a normal life#and no it isn't epic different like I'm not secretly a magical girl who fights evil (that'd be so cool though I'd be down)#I mean like.isolated and not allowed to interact with people different#just sucks hearing everyone around my age going out with their friends or having sleepovers or just like.going out and enjoying life#meanwhile I'm stuck in my house with a strict mom who doesn't want me to make any irl friends#“you won't keep the friends you make anyway” SO??????#AT LEAST LET ME EXPERIENCE HAVING THEM#AND LET ME LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!!!#I don't like talking abt this bcz I don't want ppl to feel bad for having what I wish I had#I mean.it's not their fault my mom is super strict and controlling#so I try to refrain from bringing it up or posting abt it but it is REALLY affecting me right now for whatever reason :'D#so I just had to get something out abt it. I feel like I've kept that in for too long#vent
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see normally i try to avoid and dislike using "they're ooc" as a criticism bc it's been historically used to flatten out a character's flaws. i want to use any possible in universe route to explain what's going on regardless of whether it aligns w authorial intent or not. anyway i think ten is ooc in girl in the fireplace
#this is not the case with ANY other episodes of his whole entire run because with stuff i have issues with#i can come up with concepts that might not have been intended by the writer but are genuinely interesting to me otherwise#gitf is irredeemable. throw it in the garbage. ten would not do that.#mx tenth 'born out of love driven mad by love lives and dies by love' doctor. WOULD not do that. gbless.#this freak sticks by rose's side like glue until he can't anymore and you're telling me hed leave her on a ship#to live life 'on the slow path' with a random rich girl he JUST met in fucking 17th century france. explode#dr who#i'm making this post on my tumblr bc i don't want to keep getting into fights over this again lol#10 era
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