#granted. all of them made me laugh really hard to some extent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snorkling-in-sodasea · 1 year

Text

My Thoughts on Oops

Well, I guess I wanna give my thoughts over the newest Helluva Boss episode, Oops. At least on some things, I either won't go over every single detail or just summerize. At the very least, I'll go over big things. Also, yes, I read other posts on this site. Because that's what I do with every single episode of Helluva Boss (which seems to be some of the only reasons I even bother with this show anymore; it's more enjoyable to hear what other people think of the show than watching the show)

Anyways, I think I'll drop to Blitz's defense on something here, before getting mad at him. (I'll get mad at Stolas right from the get-go, though, so when I bring him up, well, you've been warned right here). Getting on with it, Blitz's defense is when he's skeptical of Stolas's affection. He says that Stolas asks about Blitz's day, comments on his drawings, and laughs at his jokes. Well, the first two things happened OFF-screen. Seriously, I should have seen this shit ON-screen if I'm supposed to even begin rooting for this relationship. As much as some people claim it's not horrid, or toxic as others would say, Stolitz is definitely problematic as all fuck and I can't with it. Seriously, I can't even care about Blitz and Stolas as individual characters. How am I supposed to care about their not-yet relationship or even just the two of them when they're together?

But yeah, Fizz makes it sound like Blitz is just being his usual paranoid-of-love self when the latter refuses to believe that. The episode in general depicts it that way. But I at least don't blame Fizz for being judgmental like that. After all, it's been established at the start of the episode that they only met twice in fifteen years. And Stolas is no doubt a complete stranger to Fizzarolli prior to the episode Ozzie's. How the fuck is Fizzarolli supposed to know how Stolas is like on a normal basis, let alone how he's like with Blitz? It's a complete outsider's perspective. Not to mention, Fizz still hated Blitz at the time so he's bound to not have a lot of patience or understanding for Blitz's problems.

Not to mention, even if Stolas is one of the good ones, that's just it. He's one of the good ones. It's like when you accidentally botch in baking a batch of cookies but then you find one that's not so burnt compared to the others. It's not that hard to like that cookie over the others. Except if we were to think about that metaphor again, then that means that Stolas is still burnt. Thanks to the kind of environment and background he comes from, Stolas still got negatively affected by it all; it's just not to the same extent as the other Geotia. (Not that I'm thinking Stolas is really a good person when it comes down to it. Remember that cookie metaphor I just made, please) So yeah, that not I really care about Blitz and I'm bound to never do so, but he's right to be skeptical of a doting and/or attentive streak that's coming from someone who never acted that way before.

Now here comes the starting paragraph where I thoroughly don't give a shit about him and will likely make that perfectly clear for the remainder of this post. Just so you know. And I think I'll start by the fact that, as right as he is in this episode, he's still a insecure jackass who keeps bringing others down just to prop himself up. It's been established in my head since the end of season 1, like second to last episode for sure, and that opinion has only been going strong throughout season 2. Granted, not my only problem with Helluva Boss but I'm sure you can take some guesses. I'm bound to have the common opinions as anyone who dislikes or even hates the show within logical reason.

But yeah, Blitz actually spills his guts to someone, voluntarily, and it's to someone who wouldn't give a shit about his personal problems. Fuck, is he inept with feelings. How he became that emotionally constipated is one thing but it pisses me off that he's just lived his life like this. If he was an antagonist character, a side character, or (most preferably) a minor character, then I wouldn't have to care. Instead, I gotta get fucking angry since, for all my personal reasons for continuing to watch this show, I'm usually stuck watching this grown-up little boy who fully embraces the sex part of adult life because he apparently thinks it's all you need to be grown up like real grown ups.

Then there's the fact that Blitz is all 'you got no idea what I lost in the fire'. Maybe that line would have worked better for Barbie. Maybe. If only because, since she's female Blitz, she's bound to be so full of herself to not realize it's all about her. Except Blitz is making it all about him because he's saying it to a guy who fucking LOST HIS LIMBS. And since Fizz lost his limbs, he lost along with those limbs his agency, his future, his very way of life... That's not even getting into the fact that Fizz is bound to have lost people he cared about. Seriously, it's super unlikely that Blitz is the only imp at the circus who lost someone to that fire and I'm not just talking about the fact that Tilla was supposed to be Barbie's mother, too. Seriously, 'you got no idea what I lost in the fire' has got to be one of the most insensitive things ever to say to someone like Fizz.

Speaking of, Tilla. I didn't feel it as strongly as Moxxie's mother but I felt instantly positive that the implications of Tilla's death was just for the sake of feeling more bad to Blitz. Well, guess what? I got a dead mom, too, and I felt shit for Blitz because he's shit. And the poor woman, Tilla. I can't feel bad that she died, too. I mean, she's the opposite to Moxxie's mom. Moxxie's mom showed up on-screen and we see her do things, even if they are just centered around males. Yet the lady was never given a name; Viv gives so many names to background characters I would never think about otherwise but she couldn't be bothered to give the mother to one of the main characters a fucking name. As for Tilla, though, she was name dropped but never made any appearances. So I can't feel bad that Tilla died because I never even got to see her. And since Viv and the other members of her crew are relying on me to give a fuck about Blitz to give a fuck about Tilla's death, then anyone who reads my posts know just how well that worked.

Stolas is a funny story. I'm happy to see that Stolas is an awful character now because, otherwise, I wouldn't be giving hate to a character who really deserves it. Especially since the show won't do it anymore... In any case, I didn't like Stolas's appearance here. The confession meant nothing; I knew it's just shipping bait. I got annoyed over him going over the contract; I felt like it was just some attempt to make Stolas look badass. Stolas says that last line; I think 'just go away already'

Striker and Crimson were a surprise but the episode seems to just treat them like mooks. Seriously, Exes and Oohs made a big fucking deal over how menacing Crimson was. (Sure, he's not actually a threat because his gang sure wasn't and, given Crimson's hiring criteria, sure isn't now) And if Crimson actually dies via collapsing building, then Moxxie got cheated of getting the last stand over his FUCKING FATHER. And yeah, Crimson really isn't that different from our protagonists in terms of vileness, but I could at least tell he was an antagonist character so you'd think you want Moxxie, the SON, to get the last stand, not a guy Crimson just remembered meeting once and someone Crimson never met before. And rest in peace, Norman Reedus Striker, I don't think we'll ever get you again... which makes me wonder why Edward Bosco couldn't just have voiced Striker from the fucking start. At least we wouldn't know that we'd miss Norman Reedus Striker.

Really, my only enjoyment from the episode was Ozzie and Fizz, especially when they were together. The banter, the antics, the communication, the nickname Fizzie Frog... the sex-related stuff was even tolerable with those two. I'd want the show to be about these two instead of Stolas and Blitz, especially in how that relationship got got formed, but then that probably means letting Viv and her crew be in charge of the writing. So I think I'll stick to fanfics, especially ones made from more passionate writers who at least try making a good story

#helluva boss #blitzo #stolas #fizzarolli #tilla #moxxie's mother #striker #crimson

13 notes · View notes

n3on-graveston3s-calling · 1 year

Text

Happier than Ever (Don't Try to Make Me Feel Bad)

Summary: At first, she’d been happy that Sasuke had finally returned to them, that he’d come to his senses! But it had quickly become apparent to her that no, he hadn’t “come to his senses”- that he was still who he had been when he had left. Still jaded, but in a whole new light, a new sense that had her shrinking away from him when he would look at her. Something had changed, certainly.

Fandom: Naruto

Characters: Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha

Rating: T

Author's Notes:

This is a repost from my ao3, based on an old request I got on my previous writing tumblr with the prompt: "No, fuck you. I was worth it." with Sakura & Sasuke.

I have my own feelings about this ship, but I will not accept any bashing on this work, regardless of if you do ship them or you don't. You got anything negative to say, post it on your own tumblr, not on this post.

The war had taken its toll on everyone, regardless of if you were shinobi or civilian. The loss of life was clear into the hundreds for the Land of Fire alone, let alone the number of shinobi who had abandoned, turned tail and turned rogue and now hid in the woods and traveled across the countries. Despite all of the loss, however, some good had come from it. They were safe, now- for the time being.

For now.

Sasuke had been granted a full pardon across all the Nations, though it was only written word on paper. The feelings of those who knew of him, who knew his crimes and knew what he had done, however, were not so easily swayed. Shikamaru still gave him the cold shoulder and refused to speak with him- Sakura couldn’t blame him, not really.

At first, she’d been happy that Sasuke had finally returned to them, that he’d come to his senses! But it had quickly become apparent to her that no, he hadn’t “come to his senses”- that he was still who he had been when he had left. Still jaded, but in a whole new light, a new sense that had her shrinking away from him when he would look at her. Something had changed, certainly.

But it had her wondering- had she ever truly known Sasuke? Or had she been foolishly in love with the idea of Sasuke Uchiha?

“I’m leaving Konoha,” Sasuke announced, breaking the silence of the bedroom. They hadn’t slept together, not yet- heavy petting had been the most that had occurred. But he never kissed her- not on the lips. It was strange; he always initiated, but any time she had gone in to give him a kiss, he would move his head away and a look would enter his eyes as if he were completely disgusted with her. “I’ve lingered here too long.”

“Going off to play vigilante again?” She asked, a laugh drifting through her words. It was a joke, but the way Sasuke stiffened had her quickly backtracking. “I mean, I could always- I could join you!” She didn’t know why she suggested that.

“No.” The answer is quick, harsh, his voice raised a few levels, almost a yell. “No, you have to stay here.”

“Excuse me?” Sitting up, Sakura stares at Sasuke’s back, at where twin scars settled between his shoulder blades where macabre wings had once sat. Orochimaru had done that, the wicked curse mark that had changed Sasuke, had clouded his mind and made him hungry for power. “I have to what?”

“You have to stay.” He repeats, not looking at her. Instead, he stared at the wall. “You can’t survive out there. You’re not made to travel or to fight to that extent.”

“I beg your fucking pardon,” Sakura mutters as she rolls out of her bed, bare feet padding over to her vanity, her jaw aching from how hard she was clenching it. “I’ve survived longer than you’d expect.”

“You’re a medic. You have to stay here.” His shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. She watches him in the reflection of the mirror. “You’re good at fighting, but you don’t need to go out there. I’m fine on my own.”

“You haven’t changed.” She whispers, gaze trained on the top of her vanity desk. “I thought you would have.”

Wordlessly, Sasuke rose to his feet and snatched his shirt up. His movements were harsh, sudden- angry. “You wouldn’t understand,” he sighs out, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t make it.”

“Fuck you.” Sakura spat, turning on her heel as her emotions began to swell; a bitter, jagged feeling stabbing through her heart and settling in her throat, like bile threatening to spill out. “I would make it. I’d survive. I survived for three years without you or Naruto, did you know? I survived fighting Sasori head on and I saved Kankuro’s life. I survived.”

“Fighting Sasori and saving Kankuro’s life is different from surviving in the wild.” Sasuke counters, brow furrowing as he turned to face her. “You’d slow me down. It wouldn’t be worth it, not with how quickly I need to move.”

“Fuck you,” the words come out as a whisper, wavering as tears filled her eyes. She always had been an angry crier. “Fuck you. I was worth it. I am worth it. I always have been!” Her voice rose to a yell, making Sasuke jump in surprise, confusion painting his features.

This wasn’t the soft Sakura he’d known- wasn’t even the Sakura who he’d held during the War.

“Get out of my house.” Jade gaze settles on the wall, not looking at Sasuke- refusing to look at him. “Get out of my house, Sasuke.”

“Sakura-”

“No. You made it clear. Now get out before I throw you out myself.” She turns away, arms coming to settle around her middle as he quietly slips out. He doesn’t close her bedroom door. She stays there until she hears her front door click closed, until she can no longer sense his chakra signature lingering outside of her house.

Only then did she let herself break, let the tears fall- not out of heartbreak. She didn’t feel broken, didn’t feel as if her world had collapsed in on itself again. She was angry- angry for letting herself be caught up in a fantasy of a man who had never really existed, angry for letting herself be talked down to for so long, angry for taking so long to come to her senses.

“I was worth it.” She repeats as she stares at the photograph of Sasuke- with his team. His team- Karin, Suigetsu, Jugo. Jaw clenching, she took hold of it and marched to the kitchen.

Her hand hovered over the trash, the photograph shaking. So long, she’d waited for him. Spent so many years waiting for him to return. Was she really going to do this? Her brow furrowed as she looked up, her gaze settling on a photograph she’d taken with Ino, Hinata, Tenten, and Temari shortly after the War ended.

The photograph of Team Taka fell slowly into the trash.

“I am worth it.”

#fandom: naruto #content: fanfiction #rating: teen #naruto fanfiction #naruto #haruno sakura #uchiha sasuke #if u ain't got nothin nice to say don't say it.

4 notes · View notes

studiojeon · 3 years

Text

use me | jjk

this is part of my troubled outsiders series. i think you can read this by itself though :)

| summary | - Jungkook was not someone to establish relationships and bonds out of interest, you knew that. Or maybe not, truth be told, he was an authentic enigma, so open yet so closed and shielded from others to see through, and that didn’t exclude you.

warnings: language (?), mentions of hook ups and situationships. mentions of emotional trauma.

contents: a compilation of moments that contributed to the growth of their relationship, jungkook is hard to read, jungkook is hard to read, jungkook is hard to read and sus. oc is kinda whipped and scared af. chaeryeong knows who you are and where you live. jk and oc are scared to let each other in. friends to lovers, idol!jungkook x student!oc.

author’s note: i hate this, but i have to get it off my chest. (the narration is off af but if i keep it in my drafts for longer this will never see the light of the day). p.s. thank u so much for the support on the last drabble <3

playlist: rain by trey songz (feat. swae lee).

words: 4.75k

“JK?” as his broad back faces you, you call out his name timidly, not missing the way he swiftly turns around as soon as he hears his name come from your lips. Hair wet and darker than usual, a very big sweat stain at the center of his hoodie. He had just gotten out of practice, you assumed.

“___?” he replied with the initials of your name as well, one of his tired grins plastered on his face, he must have been exhausted. You had caught on to him just as he walked out of the practice room in front of the elevator on your way to your office, right when you needed him, but now you weren’t so sure if it was a good idea to pester him. Even so, you didn’t know anyone else you could ask for help, aside from Linh who was currently in her own office doing other tasks you had assigned to her.

“Are you busy right now?” your eyes stare at him shyly, in hopes that he was willing to help you out, because you wanted to be around him, so maybe he could share a bit of his positive energy with you, the past week had been hellish. “Could use some help returning all those heavy stacks of paper in my office”.

“Of course! Why didn’t you give me a call earlier though? It’s pretty late” he walked by your side and you enter the elevator, beginning your adventure around the company.

Jungkook was fun. Always bubbly and reciprocative, constantly trying his best to make you laugh and make the absolute best of your situation, even if he could be a bit stubborn at times. You liked the spontaneity he provided though, the way he would switch from one topic to another and how he would make silly faces at you whenever you locked eyes.

He didn’t know, but in pure ignorance, he had just made your day ten times better.

In the past week, you had received a lot of counterarguments, one by one, on how useless your management tactics were. Granted, you hadn’t expected for your ideas to be welcomed with open arms, but at least you had hoped they would take them into consideration. You had also been assigned a team, in charge of social media management, who worked monotonously and with little to no insertion in the actual target audience… your logic was: how can you advertise products to an audience you don’t even have the mere interest to know? You had designed a strategy, presented it, and no one paid any mind to you.

But for the most part, you felt lonely. Had no one to talk to, nor go to whenever you needed your spirits to be lifted up.

Chaeryeong was busy busy with group projects and work. To the extent where she would get up at seven in the morning and come back at 12 pm. It wasn’t always like that, so you didn’t worry too much, but the fear she would wear herself off like usual still crowded your mind.

You close your office door with a sigh. Tired from everything, but somehow, your heart a little fuller, knowing that maybe you could use Jungkook in the future to give you a lift. Both figuratively and literally because he had offered to drive you home, being the gentleman he was.

“Why do you look like a sad puppy?” he asked you once you were sitting by his side in his very expensive and luxurious mercedes. Tinted windows and jet black shiny paint covered the outside of his car, the smell of air refresher and pinecone filling the inside. Mans was getting hotter by the minute.

“It’s friday night after the longest week of work. How can I not?” you put on your seat belt and lean back against the leather cushions. He pouts in response to you, with a concerned look on his face.

For a second you wonder if he did this with most coworkers… being nice to them and offering them drives after having met them just a few times before. Kinda risky behviour, considering his position and squeaky clean reputation. You figure this would only last a bit before he realized he had more important things to be focusing on.

“Do you ever get chased home?” you ask randomly.

With one hand on the wheel and the other leaned against his door he meditated on his response. “It happened once… And then I moved out, got a new car and everything. Shit was wild” he chuckles and you think that was the first time you had heard him curse, like ever. Jungkook, friendly and everything, wasn’t too big of a talker, but with you he found himself spilling, without giving it much thought. It felt refreshing to hear his voice and listen to his stories and the way he expressed himself. He was more interesting than he seemed, apparently. “Aren’t you hungry, by the way? We can have something to eat before i drop you off”

Traffic was hellish in Seoul everyday at every hour, and choosing to drive through Itaewon on a friday night wasn’t the smartest decision on Jungkook’s behalf, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him that. Considering the demands of his job, he probably didn’t know his way around the city that well. You conclude taking a detour wouldn’t hurt. “I’m starving actually.”

He ends up taking you to a restaurant near your neighborhood you had mentioned being good and not crowded at all, the latter catching his attention immediately. It was a modest but nice place owned by a very funny and loud ahjussi. The man had lost count of how many times you had come down from your apartment at 11 pm and asked him to make you vegetarian tteokguk, but they were enough so that he could memorize your five orders by heart and the amount of saewoo mandu you could down by yourself in five minutes. You were making him rich at that point so the least he could do was comply when you gently asked him to shut the place down for you. Jungkook hadn’t asked you, but you knew how things could get awkward and dangerous quickly if too many people found out about him being there. “Ahjussi, you don’t have to” the boy protested as he noticed that the man had shut the blinds for him.

“It’s okay, boy. _____ has been single handedly paying the remnants of my mortgage for over a year now, I don't mind doing this for her.” he joked in his usual nature. already writing down your order and patiently waiting for Jungkook in front of you to voice out what he wanted for a meal. “And well, you and your friends are making our country proud, it’s the least i can do to thank you”

“Ah, thank you.” Jungkook bows to the older man. Your heart softened in your chest, seeing how considerate he was towards other people. He must be great with parents, you think. “Do you really not get that many people around here?” he asked worriedly once he sat back down on the wooden chair.

“We do! But she’s the one who comes the most often” he nods toward you and Jungkook smiles once he found your gaze, a glint of playfulness in his eyes.

“Can you recommend me anything, miss?”

“Of course, sir. Yeol-ah, double up my order. Drinks are on me today.” You yell at the man’s son in the kitchen, who was still a bit older than you, but also close to enough to let you order him around shamelessly. You knew him quite well, actually. He was Chaeryeong’s boyfriend after all.

The tall boy pokes his head out of the kitchen door with a very confused expression plastered on his face. “Aren’t we supposed to close in like, an hour?” Chanyeol asks his dad in front of you.

“Just go cook, I'll explain later”.

The two men go back into the kitchen and Jungkook looks at you with an amused expression on his face. “What was that?” he laughs.

“I’m very popular, you know?” it probably wasn’t a good idea to go there, but you felt a little drunk on his voice that night, and you also knew your friend didn’t mind. “In fact, Chaereyong from ITZY is my best friend, who would have guessed?”

“Yeah and my son is her boyfriend, who cares?” Byung-ho yells back at you from the cashier, pulling a hiss from your lips.

Jungkook still continued to stare at the both of you with confusion and intrigue, you guess he thought you were both joking.

“Wait, really?” he utters after a few seconds with big doe eyes and a pout on his lips, a combination that appeared when he was either confused or lying, which wasn’t the case then.

“Yes, my guy.” you laugh. “That juicy legged shortie is indeed my wife”

Jungkook loved the food, to say the least. It was all vegetarian and korean as fuck, a combination he never throught was possible, but downed like thristy camel. He was a loud eater, which was fitting of him and his politeness, something else you had noticed that night. You were the opposite, and actually despised the sounds of other people eating, yet, looking at him enjoying his meal so much made you feel full yourself. He made you feel like a kid in some ways too, brought back the times when being around others wasn’t so hard, and you still could have a sense of security around you. Talking to him was rather easy, maybe because of his welcoming nature, or because in fact he actually was interested in whatever stupid shit you were saying, something most people around you didn’t do. He also, amongst other things, seemed very interested in your job and the likes, always asking questions and absorbing information like a five year old. You had explained to him the five key steps of process design and the psychological effects on marketing in society to which he always responded with wide gentle eyes and attentive nods, not once looking bored or… annoyed in any way.

Was he like that, with every girl? Because you weren’t anything special, there were many other girls who worked with him everyday and even if you hadn’t seen him in his work space, you could guess by the way most women in your company look at him whenever he passes by that either they were just as captivated as you by his beauty or that he had fucked them. You wouldn’t be surprised if he was just trying to get into your pants either, it wouldn’t be the first time it happened to you nonetheless.

“I can walk from here, JK” you mention once you found yourselves walking towards the parking lot. A bit sad about the expense you had just made on food, it was your fault for trying to seem cool and rich, neither of which you were.

“Oh no, I’m not letting you do that, girlie” he unlocks the door and gets in, not even letting you finish or allowing you to fight back.

“My apartment is literally a block away” you protest in the car anyways. You fear you had been too much of a bother, and deep down, didn’t want him to feel like you were seeking his presence unnecessarily.

“Well, good for you. But, you paid for the food, which was a lot, and i don’t want my sugar mommy walking by herself at 12 pm on a friday night” you first freeze, and then burst a very loud giggle.

“Whatever” you slap his bicep and roll your eyes. “ Next time you can pay if it bothers you so much.”

“So there will be a next time?” wide eyes stare back at you. “Count me in. I´ll pick where we will be going, just lemme know when so i can plan ahead” he rambles, a little too excited about your suggestion.

He drops you off with a smile on his face and hopefulness in his eyes, promising to see you around the company. You, on the other hand, feel a tad confused as you enter your apartment building. What was going on?

You had overthought things so much your entire life that it suddenly became too tiring to do. During the past few years you had to learn how to detach yourself and just ride the wave sometimes. Once you had turned eighteen, everything started moving at a very fast pace, the pressure of adulthood fell upon you like a brick and everything was so overwhelming that you started to simply let the course of your existence take you wherever it needed to.

That’s how you ended up going out with Jungkook at least once a week for dinner or a drive around the city for more than two months. Without even noticing, he became so engraved in your everyday life that whenever he’d cancel plans because of work, you’d find yourself with a void in your heart and a rush of boredom filling your senses. Even if you found yourself in your living room with the company of your best friend whom you had seen at most four times in the past two months, you were still wishing you could share that intimate space with him instead, willing to let him a bit more into your life, in hopes that maybe he would do the same. Sue you, you were curious over the most intricate details about his personality, how his personal sanctuary looked and if the smell of his room is just as good as his car’s. You could bet a thousand dollars (maybe a little less, considering the unconventionalism that characterizes him) that he also had a few plants that only remembered to water three out of seven days of the week.

Hopefully life would draw you closer to more people like him.

"How's your boyfriend doing?" Chaeryeong asks you from the kitchen counter, sweet popcorn cooking in you popcorn-maker.

You sigh. "What boyfriend?"

She was a lot of things but oblivious, and you weren't either, just when you chose to be. "Cut the bullshit, you know who i'm talking about". The fake red head waits for your response as she pours the snack into a big bowl, and you on the other hand take this as an advange to search around the room for answers.

"He's just a friend" you say. "And he's fine, i guess… He doesn't really talk much about himself" you mention, matter of factly.

Chaeryeong nods beside you, understanding what you meant. Then, proceeds to tell a tale about her experience meeting the dark haired boy. "He's literally so quiet, but like, so incredibly kind. Once he tripped over and fucked up some of the decoration at an award show" she grabs a popcorn and continues her story. "He looked so panicked I thought his eyes were about to jump out their sockets — His eyes are huge, by the way."

"I know" you smile.

"My point is, he started to help the staff put everything back in order again. I think he's the only idol I've ever seen do something like that… i decided i liked him then" her beautiful features light up with mischief. "I bet he fucks great too."

You slap her leg. Hard.

"I'm only telling you this now so you don't get caught of guard when he actually manages to fuck you," her soft hands run through your messy hair, motherly touches easing the fluster in your body. "You know he's a big whore, right?" She adds after a while.

You didn't. According to Chaeryeong, who seemed to keep tabs on every single colleague of hers, Jungkook had quite the body count, not that you didn't have your suspicions before. Frankly, she only knew of two girls inside her company who had had some sort of situationship with him, but for the same reason, she also knew he had some history with other girls from different groups. "Yikes" you laugh nervously, in admiration of their ability to remain calm and collected without giving anything away to the public.

Thanks to your friend, you had heard lots of tea about other singers in the korean industry before, most of which were not as sweet or kind as they portrayed themselves to be, some even using their social status to get their way with girls. But for some reason, Jungkook had never made his way to your gossipping sessions, nor any other of his band mates (except for Jimin, who, if you remember correctly, used to have some sort of beef with one of Chaeryeong's company members). You guess it was because of his unproblematic nature that people chose to give him a pass for his sexual endeavors, not that they were of anyone's concern either.

A knock is heard against your office door. "Miss _____?" A girl with a brown bob cut pokes her head through it, the dim lights of your office shining upon her incredibly healthy locks. "Jungkook asked me to deliver this to you" sliding completely into the room, she places a box with a note on it on your desk.

"Thank you so much" you wave her off as she walks right out.

The package had a strawberry flavored canned tea and a bento box inside.

"I remember you telling me you'd never tried tofu pancakes before, so I made some for you last night. Hope you enjoy! - JK

P.S. Text me when you're done, maybe we can hang out tonight."

You felt like crying, in all honesty. The pancakes were heavenly, and he even added some slices of avocado and a few scoops of rice for you, despite not being the biggest fan of the fruit himself. With a warm heart and relief washing over your body because you wouldn't have to waste money on lunch that day, you had had half of your meal before said boy gave you a call.

"Did you like them?" He said almost immediately. "My assistant told me she already delivered them to you" he adds in a rush.

"Jesus boy, calm down." You giggle at his excitement. "Let me eat in peace".

"No, tell me right now." he demands with a fake angry voice. Cutie.

"They're alright".

"Figured… you have no sense of taste anyways" the hangs up. A giggle escapes your lips. Boy was something else.

Later that day, the weekend started it's course. Jungkook had offered to drive you to the Han River, careful to mention the fact he prepared a bunch of snacks for you two just about five times during your call. The place was almost empty, given that the rest of the city was doing something else more fun than staring at the night sky while sitting on itchy grass. Yet, you wouldn't change the setting for anything else. Usually, when you and Jungkook were out, he'd be in silent wary of your surroundings and the people who could be watching you. It broke your heart, knowing that most of the time he couldn't frequent places most regular people had the pleasure of enjoying, like the movies, for example, or a food stand in the middle of the street. Still, in that moment, the handsome man in front of you seemed as relaxed as ever, munching on grapes and strawberries as he sat in silence beside you.

"This blanket is so soft, isn't it?" he commented all of a sudden, caressing the fabric with his hand. The thing was made out of polar fleece, no shit. You just nodded and grabbed a piece of fruit from his container. "One of my friends gifted it to me on my birthday" he adds.

"I know. It was me".

"Well, maybe you do have a sense of taste after all" he complies as he lays down on the surface, eyes facing the night sky above you.

"Says the one who uses toe socks" you say back, poking his weak spot.

Instead of going back and forth with you as he usually would, he just winks and closes his eyes. He looked so peaceful and serene beneath you, features carefully carved on his face and slightly blushed cheeks from the cold wind. Jungkook was like that, randomly over confident and flirty with you, but just as quickly would refrain from even disagreeing with you in the first place, scared that you would snap at him. He hadn't told you this, but the way you saw thoughts hidden in his eyes whenever you made a statement let you know his true intentions, leaving you to wonder where that came from.

"Are you tired?" You ask after a few minutes. Still with his eyes closed, Jungkook denies.

"I just don't want to look at you right now," he turns to the side, back facing you as an offended expression finds its way to your face.

"Yah" you slap his back playfully, not letting him finish.

"Because you look too pretty." he mumbles the remnants of his statement.

Your breath catches in your throat as a shiver climbs its way down your spine. Why was he like that? He had no right tugging on your heart strings like that (if he was being serious in the first place because you never knew with him). You sigh, the blush his words provoked stinging your cheeks.

"You're supposed to say I'm pretty too" he turns around with a playful smile, expectant.

"You just go around giving compliments so you can get them back?" you hiss. "Why so insecure?"

"I'm not insecure, at all." He sits up again, ready to fight you and anyone who dares question the grandiosity of the confidence he had worked so hard for. "You can ask Linh about that".

To say you looked horrified was an understatement, hopeful that what you thought he meant was not it. "You fucked Linh?"

"Well, that's not for you to know".

What a gentleman, you think. And at the same time, ouch. He had just slammed a door on your face.

"That would explain the way she looks at you whenever you come by the office" you realize. Frankly, the girl looked a bit too panicked whenever Jungkook decided to barge into your space, usually bored out of his mind during his english lessons, laptop and notebook in hand, or struggling to get the questions right.

"Well good afternoon to you too" you ironically greeted once he sat in front of you, frustration written on his face. Linh, who stood by your side, suddenly fidgeting with the papers in her hand.

"Not the time, _____" he slammed both hands on your desk, startling you and your friend beside you. "Why the fuck did you make me enroll into this in the first place?"

"I did not make you do anything, dude. I just gave you an idea" you excused yourself, eyes back on your computer. You didn't miss the way Jungkook's eyes briefly followed Linh out the room, though.

His eyes looked back at you, leg bouncing impatiently on the floor as he leaned back with a pissed off expression on his face. You'd never seen him this way, so you took that as a cue to enter under paid therapist mode. "What's wrong?" You questioned gently.

"I feel incredibly incompetent right now." His hands roamed across his face with frustration. A sigh escaped his lips as he held tears back. "School's always been this way for me, always trying my best and constantly underachieving" he explained.

He was obsessed with winning, you’d even go as far to say more than he was with his job (which was a lot). It didn’t root from narcissistic behaviour though, but rather out of external pressure to constantly overachieve and exceed expectations. He was mostly good at doing that, but everyone had an achilles heel, yours was reading for example, his was studying and school.

"Jungkook, you passed most of your classes with more than 90%, what are you talking about?" a fact he had brought up to you randomly when you mentioned absolutely nearly failing most of your literature classes.

"Yeah, except for English." he shook his head in the way he would when he'd feel conflicted or insecure. "I don't know what i'm doing wrong".

"Did you fail something?" you tried to get some more insight into the situation, still unsure of where all his worries came from.

"No, there's just this sentence I can't properly put together" he turned his notebook towards you. "Ah, just look"

There were some words he had to conjugate and properly place in order to form a grammatically correct sentence, more than five attempts written in neat penmanship on the page evidenced the boy's battle with the assignment. He missed one very important aspect of it, though. "There's a fucking word that's missing, dude" you explain, grabbing the pen from his hand and showing him where the mistake was. "It's not your fault, it's the teacher's".

Jungkook's serious expression didn't go away though. "Well, damn".

You had some sort of emotional trauma with having people ask you for help, it made you think that they didn’t actually care for you as a person but rather just your skills. That was the way you’d grown up and what your position in society seemed to be as well, the one you could butter up and taste when you got bored. Heart had been broken many times too, whenever you’d realize what you thought to be a genuine connection was merely pure interest. Those thoughts clouded your head when Jungkook would randomly enter your office with a frustrated expression on his face, yet, that occurred less often than it didn’t.

Jungkook was not someone to establish relationships and bonds out of interest, you knew that. Or maybe not, truth be told, he was an authentic enigma, so open yet so closed and shielded from others to see through, and that didn’t exclude you most of the time, hence your wish for him to let you in a bit more before you could allow yourself to free fall into whatever was going on between you both.

You reach for the fabric of his hoodie, tugging his sleeve with your fingers just because you really liked the color of it, and maybe because you wanted to feel closer to him. He doesn’t react to your touch, just looks at your hands briefly as they play with the edges of his clothing. “Where did you get this from?”

“An online store, I think.” he replies softly, reaching for your hand on his arm, caressing the surface of your nails. “It’s a unisex brand, i can send you their link afterwards.”

“Is it too expensive?” you inquire, not only to keep the moment afloat, but because you genuinely liked most of his pieces of clothing, especially his hoodies and shoes. Jungkook laughs at your question and looks at you with a smile.

“I don’t think i would know, ____. I’m rich.” he says, playfully. And he was right, what was expensive for you might just be cheap as fuck for him, you wonder if when a lot of money is in your hands you start to become very tuned out from what’s affordable or not anymore.

“True.”

“I can buy you one, though. I don’t mind.” he adds. Soft look in his eyes, a pure and genuine offer that you had to deny.

“I didn’t say i wanted one” you lie, only partially, because although you’d not mentioned it, you did actually want it. “I just think it’s pretty” you finally let go of him.

“Or do you think I look pretty in it?” he pushes, a sucker for compliments.

“Yeah, that might be it.” you admit, because there was no point in denying your irrefutable attraction to the man, as much as you hated to be vulnerable, especially in front of him.

“I think it would look prettier on you”.

Don´t copy or repost please. by studiojeon on tumblr.

388 notes · View notes

totiredtowrite · 3 years

Text

"ＴｈｅＢａｒｔｅｎｄｅｒ"

Warnings - Alcohol, cursing, brief mention of seggs, the word prostitute if that means something to you

Note: Guess what, I made the dni thing bigger ehe 🤪. Also I need more Iwa works on my page

FEM READERS DO NOT INTERACT (SHE/HER, SHE/THEY)

/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

Iwaizumi Hajime was a rather popular man.

The reason being, of course, that he was the bartender.

Most everybody knew about him. The strong, handsome, man who worked at the saloon. Sleeves rolled to his elbows, the occasional charming smile, strong arms and cut jaw. If you've seen how he interacts with his childhood friend, the salesman who hangs around the bar, you'd almost think he was stubborn and rude.

While correct about the stubborn part, he was charming when he wanted to be. Good with people, good at his job, attractive. He was everything a bartender needed to be.

Of course, his job also meant dealing with the less pleasant people. Drunken idiots, the occasional prostitute who he usually just gave money and sent on their way with some kind words, those who ugly cried in the corner tables about how fucked up their situation was. (He felt pity for the last group of people, though it really wasn't his problem. Or his business).

Lastly, he got hit on. A lot.

Granted, a lot of people who tried to get in his pants were shit faced. So far gone that they probably couldn't remember their own name. Still, there was a decent number of people who were stone cold sober. As much as he hates to admit it, he actually likes the attention, to an extent. Pretty people fall at his feet, though many were...shallow. That surface level attention was nice in the moment, but he knew none of them would be able to provide the connection he wants.

The most he'd get from any given person who came through for his attention was a one night stand and some pretty words. Come sunrise, and they're gone.

Iwaizumi sighed, setting down the glass he was polishing. It was nearing the end of the night, only a few people left at the bar. While the business was open at all hours, (Iwaizumi works nights), there was a time when business slowed tremendously. A drunkard in the corner, a regular, was babbling nonsense about something to the woman across from him. There was a new woman with him every other night.

With another sigh, Iwaizumi put up the glass and leaned against the counter, watching the door with boredom. He was young, he was desirable, and he was giving up the idea that he'd get some sappy romance. Working at a bar, seemingly untouchable or unreal to the people around, was just going to be his life wasn't it?

He got up to turn around, when the sound of the door swinging open stopped him.

"I do hope this place isn't closed." A small laugh left your mouth.

Hajime turned around, breath catching in his throat. You were easily the most beautiful man he'd seen in what felt like forever. Even if other people, (or you), thought you weren't all that, he could say otherwise. And he would.

You tilted your head at his lack of response. "Hello?"

Snapping out of it, he shook his head furiously. "Of course we're- we're always open."

You gave him another one of those beautiful grateful smiles, taking a seat in front of him at the bar. You slipped off your overcoat, adjusting your vest. "M'sorry, I'm new in town," you chuckled. Iwaizumi let his eyes wander from your face to your, obviously expensive, clothing.

"Yeah?" Iwaizumi said, cursing his voice for cracking in the middle of the word. Thankfully, you didn't seem to notice. And if you did you hadn't commented on it.

You nodded. "It's obvious, isn't it?"

He laughed awkwardly, nodding yes. "Do you, uh, want anything?" He rubbed his hands together. No way in hell was he going to lose his cool over a pretty man.

"I dunno," you let out an exhale as you pondered. "You can pick. I don't usually drink."

He turned to find whatever the best thing in the saloon was. In truth, Iwaizumi didn't drink much either. With his back to you, he popped the cap off of the most expensive looking liquor in his cabinet. Biting his lip, he pondered what to say. It's not every day that some otherworldly looking new guy walks into his bar, after all.

"So..." he eventually started, "Ya staying long?"

"Mm," you rested your head in your hand. "Just moved in, not leaving any time soon. Can't tell you the details of my job, but it's...tiring."

He scoffed in agreement. "I know what you mean," he turned around and slid a glass over to you. "Well obviously I don't get paid as much as you probably do, but night shifts aren't fun. 'Specially not here."

You hummed. "I guess you've gotta deal with a ton of people, huh?"

Iwaizumi grunted in approval, absentmindedly watching you take a tentative sip of your drink. "Drunks, my dumbass best friend, people who wanna get in my pants," he sighed.

You looked up to take a better look at him. "Can't blame them," you giggled. "You in a relationship? Got a woman? Or a man. I won't judge."

Iwaizumi shrugged, feeling himself blush at your compliment. "Nope. Not like I'm opposed to either, but," he sighed in the middle of his sentence, "Finding well meaning people here is hard."

You traced your glass. "Tell me about it. I can't make a meaningful connection with someone for the life of me."

Iwaizumi laughed. It was a nice sound, sort of hoarse and rocky. "Then I guess we can be hopeless romantics together, can't we?" He smiled at you softly. His previous nerves about being faced with a man who may or may not reject him, (or even be into guys), have disappeared. Being around you felt...nice. Comfortable.

You hummed out a 'yes' into your glass, giving him a small smile. "I'm (y/n)," you said when you looked up. "How about you?"

He knew he was getting progressively more red. "Hajime."

"Well, Hajime," you sat up straight, "I guess we'll be seeing each other often."

No doubt about it, Iwaizumi was falling further and further into this hole. This stupid hole of feelings for a man he just met. "Yeah," he fought the stutter in his voice, "I guess we will."

Do not repost, translate, or copy my work on to other platforms.

#hq x male reader #m!reader #anime x male reader #x male reader #male reader #haikyuu x male reader #iwaizumi x male reader #iwaizumi hajime x male reader

113 notes · View notes

inkandpen22 · 3 years

Text

The Princess and The Pogue (Pt. 9)

Pairing: JJ x Reader / Topper x Reader

Word Count: 3.0k

Warnings: swearing, mild smut, angst, fluff

Part Summary: Y/N goes to see JJ after the party and she begins to think everything will work out

Masterlist

The Pogues are gathered around the bonfire, chatting over a couple of beers and joints. JJ keeps checking his phone every few minutes, wondering why you haven't texted him yet. You agreed for him to pick you up at your house at eleven, but he wants to wait for your text saying you're home. He's considered just going over anyway, assuming you're already there since dinner would've ended at least two hours ago. Before he has the chance to even rise to his feet to go, you and Topper roll up the driveway. None of the Pogues recognize the gray BMW, except Sarah.

“Is that Topper dropping off Y/N?” She frowns in confusion as the car comes to a steady halt at the end of the gravel drive.

Pope presses his fingers to his temples, wide-eyed. “Am I hallucinating?”

“Okay, enough weed for me," Kiara declares, passing the joint to John B.

Topper stops the car and turns to you. “You’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” you nod, collecting your bag between your legs.

“Call or text if you need me,” he instructs, still somewhat reluctant to drop you off.

“Will do,” you offer him a reassuring smile.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow," he complies, leaning over the divider and planting a quick peck to your cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” you return, granting him a kiss on the cheek as well. You climb out of Topper's car, walking toward the fire pit where JJ and everyone watch you utterly dumbfounded. “Hi guys,” you greet, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“Topper knows his way around The Cut?” John B pokes fun.

“Did he drop you off to scope out the place?” Kiara grumbles.

“He didn’t want me driving," you explain as you take a seat next to a silent JJ. "We went to Kelce’s for a little after dinner and I’ve been drinking."

“What a gentleman,” Sarah mumbles sarcastically.

“Hi Baby,” JJ greets you with a soft smile, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“Hi,” you grin, leaning in and planting a kiss to his lips to which he reciprocates.

“I could’ve picked you up,” he whispers against your lips.

“I know," you state, parting from him for a second. "I just didn’t want to make you do the drive."

“I’m surprised Topper let you out of the car,” Sarah snickers.

“We came to an understanding,” you describe vaguely.

“Oh yeah?" Kiara raises a brow. "What’s that?”

“We’re just friends,” you reply confidently.

“I don’t just kiss my friends goodbye...” John B mumbles under his breath.

“We’re just friends," you reiterate, starring the boy down warningly.

“You bet you are,” JJ agrees, pulling you into his side. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you too," you blush, peering over to meet his gaze.

“Movie anyone?” John B suggests suddenly rising to his feet.

“Yes!” Sarah bursts.

“Comedy!” Pope votes.

“Romance!” Kiara challenges.

“Actually," JJ sighs, standing up next to you. "I was going to head to bed, wanna come?” He asks as he glances down at you.

You hum. “Yeah, I’m pretty tired actually."

____________________________________________

You and JJ lay in bed, facing each other as you talk about everything under the sun. You could've watched the movie considering you've been up for hours talking, not once trying to fall asleep. Yet, spending hours laying in bed, talking to JJ, is a much better pass time.

“Fish tacos from The Wreck,” JJ answers without a moment's hesitation.

“Ooo, you know I’ve never been there,” you confess, intrigued.

“Really?!" JJ's eyes grow wide. "We’ll have to go ASAP! Kie’s dad makes the best hush puppies,” he dramatically gestures with his hands.

You giggle, “sounds amazing.”

“Okay, now your turn." JJ's arm drapes over you and rubs his hand up and down your back.

“Hmm," you hum, thinking it over. "My grandma’s chicken and dumplings. She always made it when I was sick and it’s like a warm hug.”

“Yum," he grins. “Dream vacation?”

“Anywhere with a beach,” you answer easily. “I love to travel, but I also love the ocean so can’t be too far from it. You?”

“Surfing trip around the world," he nods, clearly having thought about it before. "I’m talking Australia, Japan, Brazil, all over.”

“Surfing world tour. Very surfer Pogue of you,” you tease playfully.

“Would a Kook Princess like to come?” He offers with a sly smirk as his eyes fall to the small space between you.

“Sure I’ll follow,” you accept with a soft smile.

JJ jokingly nudges you on the shoulder with a slight blush to his cheeks. “Stop," he chuckles. "If anything you pick the places and I follow. Follow you around the world.”

“You would?” You narrow your eyes at him with a smirk.

“What’s that Carol King song?” He tries to recall and whispers some of the words. “Where you lead...”

“I will follow," you add in a sing-songy tone.

“Anywhere!” You both say in unison to each other, causing you two to laugh.

JJ exhales deeply, catching his breath after laughing.“Talking to you is so easy it’s scary," he confesses, taking your hand in his between you two.

“I never felt so understood until I met you,” you tell him.

His brows scrunch together as he watches your hands move around one another. “You don’t think Topper understands you?”

“I do... to an extent,” you shrug, not fully convinced. “He’s known me longer, so he knows why I am the way I am, but he’s not necessarily accepting of all of it.”

“What do you mean?” JJ wonders aloud.

“If I told him that I don’t want to go to every party and rather stay in, he’d wonder why. If I said I don’t like the Club and rather spend a day on some remote island somewhere he wouldn’t relate. I could tell you that I want to move to Guam and you’d be game for it. Some days I don’t want to have any responsibilities or social obligations which confuses Topper. He’s satisfied where he is. He’s satisfied being stationary and though I’m told I have everything, I don’t want any of it." You pause, finding yourself coming to a hard conclusion. You peer up at JJ who's eyes have left your hands and pour into you. "There has to be more right? There has to be something different out there.”

“Life beyond the OBX?" He seek to clarify to which you nod. "Yeah, there’s an entire world outside of here!”

“That’s what I want..." You whisper. "Something entirely my own and somewhere where no one knows me.”

“Maybe we should explore it together,” he smiles gently with content. “I mean, as long as it’s okay for one person to know you.”

“You don’t count," you blush.

JJ releases your hand, bringing his own to caress your cheek. “I want to see the world with you."

You lean into his touch, his warmth making you feel safe, seen, and understood. “I think that can be arranged...”

JJ shakes his head, as though he's come to a profound realization. “You’re everything to me." His words slip by in a whisper as he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your lips, sealing his statement.

You run your fingers through JJ's hair, pulling him in deeper. He smiles against your lips, loving your reaction. He moves to hover over you, encompassing you with his body. You take matters into your own hands and press JJ down to lay down beside you. Swiftly, you move to straddle him. A grunt leaves him and you cower slightly.

"Did I hurt you?!" You nearly panic.

“No, no,” he’s quick to assure you, bringing his hand to your face and brushing your hair back.

You hadn’t noticed when he got into bed, the bruises and cuts scattered across his torso. You remember them from the Boneyard and in the hot tub. You had thought perhaps they were from Topper.

JJ can tell that your mind isn’t satisfied. "What else is troubling you?" He frowns. "Babe, look at me, please."

"If these weren't Topper, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it,” he scrunches his face with a shake of the head. “Don't worry, it's taken care of,” he tries to change the subject, reaching up to kiss you.

You gasp. "Did someone do this to you?!" You quickly realize.

"Y/N..."JJ exhales deeply.

"JJ, I have to know!” You argue. “If someone-"

"It was my dad okay!" He confesses.

You heart sinks has the dark reality hits you like a ton of bricks.

"He... he gets mad sometimes..."JJ describes, looking anywhere but you. He begins to fidget with the hem of your shirt. When... When things weren’t good between us... I picked a fight with him. It was stupid. I shouldn't have done it, but I did! I think I wanted it. At least then I could control the pain,” he explains, killing you.

You lean down and plant a gentle, comforting kiss to his lips. When you pull back, JJ stares at you, stunned by the action. You swallow hard as you slide down, keeping eye contact with him as you plant a kiss to his bruised peck. JJ’s heart begins to race as he watches you. You continue on your path to his multicolored rib. JJ’s hand brushes over the top of your head gently. Your fingers curl under the hem of his boxers as you leave a trail of kisses over his cut and bruised stomach.

"Y/N..." He breathes heavily as his eyes fall shut.

"Never again,” you tell him warningly as a demand. “You never go back there. Here, Kie's, Pope's, my place, anywhere else but there. Morning, noon, or night, you need a place, come to me. You hear me?"

JJ nods, too consumed in you to voice anything.

"I see marks like these on you again, I'll kill him and they won't find the body. I've seen enough crime documentaries. I can be like Liam Nison in Taken,” you joke slightly.

"I'm sure you could," JJ smirks, peering down at you.

You lift yourself up to hover just above his face. You cup his cheeks, making him look you in the eyes. "I'm never going to leave you, ever! You never have to suffer alone again. I promise. Your pain is my pain. Whatever you inflict on yourself you also do on me."

"I promise too. You're my world, Y/N,” he tells you and you know he means it. “You're my life now."

Suddenly, there's a ruckus coming from outside in the hall. The sound of the screen door slamming against the frame and shouting.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! I’ll go get her! You stay here!” You hear John B yell.

“Like I’d listen to you!” Another voice barks.

You break from JJ, trying to listen. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” he frowns, peering over at the door. He climbs off of you and slips out of the bed. He grabs a t-shirt from the chair in the corner and pulls it over his head, his boxers still slightly exposed.

“JJ, be careful!” You beg, worried that it could be someone looking for trouble.

"I will, Baby. It's okay," he promises, heading toward the door to check it out.

“Cool off Topper!” Pope shouts before you hear a bang.

“Topper?” You mumble in disbelief, flying off the bed and toward the door.

“Y/N!" JJ grabs your wrist as you open the door. "Baby, wait!”

Before he has the chance to stop you, you stumble into the hallway. JJ rushes out of the bedroom, nearly running into you. Standing at the end of it, in the archway of the living room, Topper turns his attention away from the Pogues. His eyes land on you and a wave of relief consumes him.

“Y/N...” Your name falls from his parted lips faintly.

“Topper...” You stand frozen.

“There is almost an equal Kook to Pogue ratio in this house and I don’t like it,” Pope huffs from behind Topper.

“I need to talk to you," the tall blonde announces urgently.

You speed walk down the hall, despite JJ's efforts to stop you. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just... I... uh...” Topper stutters, nervously avoiding your gaze, and focuses on the small floor space between you.

“Have you been drinking again?" You question, coming to the conclusion he has. He smells of beer and weed, more than he did hours ago. "Did you go back to Kelce’s!”

“I was losing my mind, Y/N!" He bursts, uncharacteristically, causing you to jump and JJ to step forward toward you. "I needed a distraction, but nothing was working!” Topper explains in a rush, all fidgety. “Can we just go somewhere to talk?”

JJ immediately steps in, moving to stand between the two of you. “You’re not going anywhere with her!”

“Oh shove it,” Topper snaps at JJ.

“You forget you’re on my side of the island, Kook!” JJ barks, shoving Topper in the chest.

“Enough!” You scream, pressing a palm to each of their chests. “For Pete’s sake!”

“Back off JJ!” Kiara yells.

“I just need to talk to you,” Topper pants.

You exhale deeply, glancing between JJ and Topper. You know JJ won't approve and won't allow it without a fight, but you agree to speak with Topper. “Okay, let’s go outside.”

JJ laughs, pacing around. “You can’t be serious-”

“Ten minutes!” You shout at him, escorting Topper toward the door.

“She sure told you,” Topper mocks JJ as he backs up to the exit.

“Oh shut up,” you grumble, urging Topper through the doorway leading to the front yard.

You and Topper settle down on the hammock, swinging back and forth on the edge, side by side. The sun has long since set and the lights in the large tree illuminate the yard. Unable to sit still, Topper rises from his spot and paces in front of you.

“What’s going on Topper?” You ask worriedly.

The boy stops, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck nervously. “I’m losing my mind, Y/N!" He finally breaks his silence. "I feel like there are weights strapped to me and I’m being pulled to the bottom of the ocean, struggling for air!” He rushes out in a pant. “I’ve been an arrogant ass and too scared to pay attention, but now I’m just scared and I’m afraid if I don’t tell you this now that I’ll never get a chance like this again!”

You stand, taking his hands in yours. "Just take a deep breath!"

He yanks his hands free of your hold, running his fingers through his hair as he paces away. "I'm about to be the most selfish person on the planet!"

“Topper, just say it! It can't be that bad!" You try to reassure him, the pit in your stomach growing with each passing minute. You can only assume the worst.

“I love you!” Topper bursts out, meeting your gaze pleadingly.

A weight lifts off your shoulder. You thought it was something bad. “That's it? I love you too,” you laugh lightly.

“No!" He stops you. "Not the way you mean it... it’s not the same! I love you!”

Neither of you notice the Pogues hiding in the enclosed patio, watching everything go down.

“I knew it!” Pope announces from his spot by the window.

“Pay up!” Kiara holds out her hand to John B.

JJ's heart sinks when he hears the confession leave Topper. He wants to run for the hills, but he can't help but observe you stand there in shock.

Topper's chest rises and falls rapidly. “I didn’t realize it fully until I dropped you off and saw you with him. I know what I said earlier, that I’m okay with this!" The words fly out of him like a freight train going full speed. “But I’m not! I’ve been in love with you for two years! Before Sarah, during Sarah, after her!”

“Okay ouch...” Sarah mumbles from her spot on the patio.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, I’ve just been too caught up in everything else to notice!" Topper's voice cracks with emotion.

"You tell me this now!" You shout, growing more frustrated with each passing second.

He sighs, "I know, I know, I'm sorry-"

"No! You don't get to apologize!" You snap at him, utterly pissed off and frankly hurt. "You could've had me! You had me, Topper!" You correct as your eyes begin to swell with tears. "You had every opportunity to change the status quo and you didn't! You let me feel like a toy, there to satisfy you when you needed company! Yes, it was fun! Yes, it was great sex! Yes, I fed into the holding and touching, even when you and Sarah were on a break because I thought..." You swallow hard, processing what you're about to say. "Because I thought that eventually, you'd love me!" You break, tears falling down your cheeks. You finally let go of a truth you've been holding in for years now. "If I kept sleeping with you that one day you'd realize that we were more than just friends! Everyone else thought it! But you were caught up on Sarah and then it became not letting Sarah be with John B! I had to break it off after Bermuda because it was killing me! I couldn't take it anymore! I had to begin to move on!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot!" Topper rushes up to you, taking your hands in his pleadingly. "Tonight, feeling you again, I saw the rest of our lives and I want it! I don’t give a shit about our friends or golfing or the Club or Sarah because none of it matters if I don’t get to experience it with you!” He begs, “so pick me! Be with me! Love me!”

You whimper, unsure of what to do or say. Everything is happening so fast.

"You slept with him?"

You turn over your shoulder to find JJ standing just a few feet away. His eyes glisten under the lights of the tree. He swallows hard, taking your silence as enough of an answer. He nods his head, pressing his lips together to hold back his emotions.

“You’re exactly as everyone says!” He yells, pointing at you aggressively.

In a second, he's sprinting away down the gravel drive. You step forward, ready to run after him, but Topper grabs your wrist.

"Y/N, don't!" He pleads.

You yank your wrist free, before running him. "JJ!" You call, "JJ wait!"

"Y/N!" Topper shouts, running after you.

"JJ!" You beg for him to stop.

"Y/N, wait!" Topper grunts, sprinting.

"JJ!" You struggle to keep up with the boy. Soon, he disappears into the dark woods across the street and you have no choice but to halt, losing all hope.

You fall to your knees on the gravel. The sound of Topper's feet hitting the gravel quickly approaching. You slam your fists to the ground with a scream, hitting your boiling point. How much is a girl expected to take?

______________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly@cc13723things@hockeybabe87 @jolomez @plutooryectors

103 notes · View notes

caesthetix · 4 years

Text

SAY A LITTLE PRAYER — Ep. What Paradise Is

↪Eren Yeager mini-series

↪content; major character death, canon universe, heavy angst, description of violence, established relationship, spoiler for season 4, alternate ending, manga spoiler

"You know, I can't help but thank Eren that he killed her that night."

Everyone was busy with themselves after Jean beat Reiner to a pulp. The rest of them who were still awake, circling the campfire, waiting for sleepiness to engulf them. But that sentence was enough to stop them from dozing off, some pairs of eyes decided to fall upon them instead.

Hange tried to be neutral all the time. They needed to be the mediator between the Marleyans and the rest of the Survey Corps. After all, they needed each other if they wanted to stop the rumbling. Yet they couldn't help but speak up, they were human too after all.

"Huh?" It was Connie. "What do you mean by that, H-Hange-san?"

They just smiled softly as they looked down, watching their own reflection from the brown liquid in their hand. It was your favourite drink, coffee. Every sip would always be savoured as they imagined you sitting right in front of them.

"But we could use her strength. If she lived, she could help us to sway Eren." Armin spoke up, responding to their statement before. His blue eyes staring at the crackling fire, deep in his thoughts. "When we lost her, we lost seventy-five percent of the chance for winning this without having to harm Eren."

"You tell me that is the reason why he killed her?" The scowl on Connie's face hardened as he tried to connect the dots. "So we can't use her against him, eh? What a coward at the end. That lunatic bastard—"

"She would have followed him."

Mikasa's voice was soft and tiny as she cut his sentence. Yet even though it heard like a whisper, everyone could hear what she said. They blinked in confusion, except Hange and Jean who currently stood a few feet from them, somehow understood. The Marleyan raised their eyebrows in confusion, Annie could not understand what they were all talking about.

The rest of them were begging for more information, but the ravenette didn't give them any.

"She would have followed him."

Instead, she repeated the words. Her friends would understand her sentence — if they decided to use their brains for a while. They all knew you, she didn't have to give any further explanation regarding her statement.

Of course, now they understood why Hange thanked Eren for what he did to you. Even if you were alive right now, you were not going to be here, eating stew and drinking coffee while fretting about how to stop your lover who tried to commit genocide to the whole world.

You were going to be there, by his side, with your swords ready to be pointed out to anyone who tried to stop and harm Eren in any way. You would stand there, devoting your heart not for humanity, but for him. That was how big your love was, something that was blinding you, to the extent of worshipping him.

And they couldn't imagine themselves to be the one who sears their blades at you.

"You never told us, Hange."

Jean's voice filled the void, his feet stomping the grass underneath him, echoing through the quiet night. "That night, you never told us what happened." He stood on the other side of the campfire, his tall body looming in front of them as they seated on the ground.

The brunette stared at the man with a stern gaze, contemplating if it was the right moment to tell them. But their time was limited now, as their friends, they all deserved to know what happened that night.

"Alright." They put the metal cup down their lap. "Though I remind you now, it wouldn't be pleasant but," It even felt so heavy for them, by just thinking about your death. "But it would be so — her."

The veteran scout told them everything. From how you stood in front of their door, the coffee that they shared with you, to the time you cried when they gave you the key so you could go inside his cell. They were sure that you went there to talk and asked for a reason, but they knew thirty minutes wouldn't be enough.

Jean felt bad for asking, as he could see how much the commander suffered from this burden. Hange's hand balled into a fist, the other gripping tight on the cup's handle. Yet they keep on going, telling them how they saw Eren wash his face as if his hands were not stained by his lover's blood.

They explained the bruises on your neck, shaped like fingers as an indicator of how you died.

"Fuck." Jean cursed, his eyes glistening with tears that were threatening to fall. "Fuck." He shouldn't have asked, but it was too late, he could see the horror in your eyes, how afraid you were that night, how you were screaming for help but no one came.

For you to die, and the one who was responsible was your lover, he couldn't imagine the betrayal on your—

"But you know what's funny?" Hange spoke up once again, they were not finished yet. Their comrades immediately looked at them once again, asking for them to continue.

They sipped their coffee, recalling the gleam in your eyes, the comfort that they remembered up until now. There was no terror, you were not afraid of him even in your last moment. "There was no sign of resistance."

And that fact was enough to wake them up.

"Even from the start, when Eren choked her, she just stood there, letting him do it." They chuckled, almost maniacal. "Her eyes still shone with comfort as she looked at him. I-I always figure her out, I understand a lot of things about her. But, but I can't with this one."

They stopped, groaning as once again your eyes were the only thing that they could see. "I don't know anymore if she really believed that he must have to kill her for a reason," His hand shook the cup gently, letting the liquid swirl inside. "Or she believed that he would stop and let her go, even until she's gone for real."

And that last sentence broke them all.

The Marleyan couldn't look at the broken soldiers in front of them. Gabi and Falco pursed their lips, trying so hard to sleep. Annie who was sitting beside the unconscious Reiner, now having her pupils dilated as she understood the story, and who would be the mysterious woman that made them distressed like this.

Connie was silent as he kept gulping down water down his throat. Armin closed his eyes, but he could see it so clearly, the faith in your orbs. Jean just chuckled bitterly, muttering stupid woman again and again as tears were cascading down his cheek.

Then, Mikasa, her lips trembled as she tried not to sob. But whimpers already slipped, her empty cup fell to the ground as she put her hands on her ears as she wanted to stop the noises in her head. You brought joy, even in her life, and to be reminded that you were killed by Eren nonetheless, tore her apart.

The rest of the night was filled with nothing but sorrow. Tears accompanied them all to their sleep, silent weeps and choked-out sobs could be heard here and there.

Hange could only stay put under the white cloth that works as their blanket, staring into the dark green of trees, then went beyond that to see the night blue skies which adorned with stars. They subconsciously raised their hand, as if they were reaching for someone.

“Tell me, Hange!”

They tried to understand him, they really did. When they closed your eyes as you laid on the infirmary bed, they knew that you would appreciate it if they tried to understand why he killed you. Down in the basement, they tried to bait him with your condition, blaming him for how they lost another comrade.

“If there’s another way, then tell me what it is!”

But they were not you, they couldn’t see it. They wanted a reason but all they got from the man was just subtle answers, pain, anger, and how what he did was something inevitable. They just knew that he suffered too from what he had done, so perhaps it was enough.

They just wished — they could understand you.

"Oh, (Y/n)." They sighed, finally letting the tears slip down their cheeks. No one else saw them, it was just their lonely soul and the craving for your existence. "I think I didn’t know you enough."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈〄┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

His vision was supposed to be filled with lights, dark blue lights that came from the coordinate. He used to know it all, see it all, what happened in the world as he activated the rumbling, he could hear all the screams from those people underneath him. Trampled by gigantic power, without given any mercy.

He couldn't remember when it stopped. The terror, his friends fighting him so they could stop his plan — suddenly all he saw was just a bright pinkish sky. It was as if he was laying down on one of the clouds, soft and free.

The breeze tickled his long hair, good that it just swayed his brown strands softly, but not good enough to give him comfort.

Comfort, oh, how much he longed for that word.

The past few days had been so hard as he kept on living to grant freedom to the Island of Paradis. He could not count how many of his comrades died, how many of his followers ended up not seeing that freedom, let alone all the lives that he took.

And now when he knew that he failed, he chuckled as the realisation dawned upon him. After all these years — he was still the same useless boy.

"Eren."

He sat up in an instant. Dark green eyes searching for the source of where it came from. Surely he was not hallucinating, but that was a possibility. He didn't even know what this place, let alone believing that it was her voice.

"Hey, Eren."

But it was indeed your voice. No matter how many days or weeks passed after some time he had to part with you, he could always recognise that voice anywhere. Gentle, warm, and comforting, it felt like he was so close to heaven.

"You are here."

Then he felt it. He felt you. He looked down on his torso, finding two arms wrapped around him from behind. It felt so right as his hand slowly covered yours, testing it in case it was all in his head. But he could touch, he could trace his finger on the back of your hand.

He laughed, just a short one as he still processed what kind of magic existed in this place. You rested your chin on his shoulder, planting a peck on his cheek without warning that caused him to blush a hundred shades of red.

"(Y/n)?" He called out your name. "Are you real?" You only answered with a single hum. "How come are you real? Where is this place? Why am I here? I am not supposed to be here, I needed to finish the plan, Ymir is—"

You shut him up by placing your finger in front of his lips.

"You are free, Eren."

Silence. He could not understand that. Did it mean that he already died? But if that was the truth, why did he even feel more alive now compared to all those years that he spent before?

You slowly retracted your finger, pulling yourself from his embrace as gently as possible. Eren was still deep in thought, hands falling to the cloud-like ground he was sitting on right now. You stood up and walked in front of him, bare feet were now within his eyesight.

He could touch you before, and it didn’t feel like he was hallucinating. He felt your kiss before, and it made him sure that it was real. Bewildered, he looked up only to find you looking forward. Even though he felt that he was finally free, he was still curious about what happened in this moment.

"What is this place?" He asked again, now a lot calmer than before as he gazed at your face which showed nothing but peace.

"A transit." You started, eyes never leaving the glowing sight in front of you. "A place where you are finally free, but still misplaced since it was not the last destination where you should go." He hummed, processing your words that still felt unreal.

"Then why are you here?" All this afterlife thing was so foreign for him. "Why don't you leave and go to your last destination?"

"Oh, boy, you really asking me that?" You chuckled softly, snickering as if that was the dumbest question that you ever heard. Your eyes finally cast down to face him, and when he still looked so confused, you could only let out a sigh. "Because I am waiting for you, Eren."

You smiled wistfully, extending your hand for him to take. "What else could it be at this point?" He took it as he nodded at your answer. You helped him up, letting him stand by himself. And now as he looked around the endless clouds, he could finally embrace the fact that he was indeed — dead.

Anywhere he looked, he could only find the soft, white clouds refreshing the air. The colour was tinted orange as the sun in front of him shone like it would set anytime soon. But it had been perhaps minutes by now, and yet the colour never changed.

If he was finally here to feel his freedom, then he would take it. The world where he lived before was not his responsibility anymore. His friends had won, and it was not his place to ask for what happened next. Yes, he was ready to be free. But as he looked at you, he still had one, unanswered question that he needed to know.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He cleared his throat, melancholy striking his feature as your gaze met with his.

"Yes, Eren?"

How come you are here on his side? Why did you stay in this place alone just to wait for him? He killed you, why are you not running away? There was so much, so many questions that he never dared to ask you. But one, he needed to know the answer to this one question.

"Why don't you fight back when I try to kill you?"

You didn't flinch, you stood there with a neutral expression as if he just asked you if you had eaten before.

"Truthfully, Eren? I always thought that you were just trying to make me hate you. Looking at me with those cold eyes, tightening your grip like that." Your finger subconsciously went to your neck. "At first, I thought you were going to let me go at some point."

He could feel a lump start forming in his throat as he listened, tears were threatening to fall already. That was what you felt that night, you didn’t want to die. Of course, who in the right mind wanted to die? Let alone killed by someone that you loved.

"But as seconds passed and you were not loosening the grip, I understood." Then you continued, your hand now fell back to your side. Though, you still looked at him with earnestness written all over your face. "I understand that you had to kill me for a reason, that you knew it was for the best."

His breath hitched at your statement; which was supposed to make him feel guilty, to make him feel like he was not worthy of your faith. But with how there was no ill will nor sadness in your intonation, he couldn't feel any other feelings except — relief.

"So I believed in you, and I wanted you to know until the end that wherever I go next, I will always devote my heart to you."

You said it without doubt, as if you have been saying the same thing over and over again throughout your life. Yet somehow he could know that it was the truth. Perhaps you said that inside your heart for all the times that you spent with him.

While you still alive, you have put your faith in him, following him anywhere he goes. No one could sway your belief, you were devoted solely just to him. You praised his name, never leaving his side under any circumstances.

And he realised — that was the way you said you loved him.

So now, it was his time to do the same, to believe in you.

"Come on, Eren." You dusted the non-existent wrinkles on your clothes before extending your hand for him to take, a smile never leaving your face as you waited for him patiently. "Let's go home."

And without wasting another second, without any hesitation, he reached for your hand. The smile on your face widened at this, and the wind suddenly twirled around the two of you. He didn't know where home was, he didn't know where you would take him.

But as you started to walk in the direction of the sun, he followed. His eyes looked forward, dark green eyes turned into the emerald shade that was gone before. It was so beautiful, how he walked above the clouds, with your hand around his, guiding him to a new place called home.

Your laugh resonated in his ears as he caught up with you, gripping your hand tighter, afraid that he would lose you if he loosened up. Yet somehow he knew that he wouldn't have to be scared anymore.

Now he was finally free. From the burden on his shoulders, from the duty that was thrown at him by his ancestors, from the endless nightmare that he saw on each vision — it was all gone. And as his gaze fleeted toward your running form, he blinked in astonishment.

He saw you, a younger self of you perhaps, maybe when you were nine or ten. You looked beautiful, even with your hair slightly shorter, with chubby, adorable cheeks. Then you turned to face him, and he saw those glossy beads filled with purity.

And inside those, he saw a reflection. Of a boy not older than ten years old, with a brown outer and a sage green shirt, holding on to someone. Oh, it was him. He looked so free as he ran side by side with you, he looked so free with you leading him to his new home.

Laughter filled the air that surrounded you and him; high-pitched, carefree laughter that people would hear when children ran around the street to catch one another. That happy laugh slipped from both of your lips.

He held your hand tighter, not because he was afraid to lose you, but so he could feel your love even more. He ran with you faster, now becoming the one who followed you as he believed that you were going to take him somewhere, to the last destination.

A place where he could finally be free.

With you.

↪Back to Wall Maria

↪Citizen; @queenofcurse

↪Send an ask if you want to be a citizen of Paradis (taglist)!

#eren x reader #eren jaeger #eren yaegar #eren x y/n #eren angst #eren jeager x reader #eren aot #aot x reader #aot imagines #aot x y/n #aot #shingeki no kyojin imagine #shingeki no kyoujin #snk x reader #snk #eren imagines #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager imagines

202 notes · View notes

justkending · 4 years

Text

The Number One Rule. Chapter 17.

Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)

Word Count: 4700+

A/N: Ah yes... It’s time to trap an angry brother...

Chapter Seventeen:

“Steven Rogers, you are not canceling on me again. I’ve seen you a total of 3 times in the past two week,” Sarah scolded into the phone.

There was a pause as Steve talked on the other line. Y/N watching from the side. Her teeth nervously biting her thumb nail waiting to see if their plan would work.

“No, your sister has something planned. Something about going up to see Wanda and helping her with nursery decorating,” Sarah lied effortlessly. She really had planned this all out. Turning to her daughter she saw her nervous nail biting, and swiped at her hand, giving her an eye.

Y/N frowned at the movement and moved to cross her arms tightly around her.

“Ok, good. I’ll be seeing you at six tonight then. Don’t be late,” the older blonde nodded. “Hm mm, I love you too, sweetheart… Ok, bye.” Pressing the red button, ending the call, she turned to her daughter. “He’s not getting out of this one. We’re fixing this mess.”

“I hope so…” Y/N sighed.

A wave of relief came over at finally being able to talk this out with Steve, but with it a wave of anxiety hit too. As much as she was upset with Steve for acting the way he was, she understood that in the end, they had hurt his feelings. He was upset and disheartened that two of the closest people in his life, hid such a big thing from him and didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him first hand.

“Hey, don’t overthink it. You two are family. Family that has been through thick and thin. If he isn’t ok with you being happy, then I’ll give him a nice smack on the back of the head to knock some sense into him,” Sarah reassured, placing a hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “I raised him better than to act like this.”

“I know… It’s just,” she paused.

“You feel bad,” Sarah finished for her. “And in a sense you should.”

“Mom!”

“Hey, I never said I was picking sides. The way I see it, you both didn’t handle this situation well,” she shrugged, moving to the kitchen to make some tea. Y/N following slowly behind her. “You and Bucky should have just talked with Steve about things to begin with.”

“But-”

“I wasn’t done,” she stopped raising a finger. Y/N sighing and nodded her on as she sat at the kitchen table. “But, I understand where both of you were coming from. You were worried about his reaction, and from what I heard how it did end up playing out, I understand why you were worried. However,” she continued, pouring the water from the kettle into two ceramic mugs with tea bags. “I think if you brought it up and had an actual sit down conversation, things wouldn’t have escalated how they did.”

“We were worried that if things didn’t work out with us, then Steve would have that weird gap to work between us and it would just make things more awkward in the future. We thought it better to leave him out of it until we were further into the relationship ourselves,” Y/N defended.

“And I see your reasoning there. Which is what you need to tell Steve. He needs to realize what you thought you guys were doing, was to keep him safe and not that you didn’t trust him,” Sarah nodded, bringing the two mugs over to the table and giving Y/N one. “But you know Steve. He has a big heart just like your father. One that holds a lot of love for those around him, and given what’s happened, that heart that sits on his sleeve was wounded.”

“I know, Ma. I’m not happy with myself either. Bucky and I both feel shitty,” she sighed stirring some honey into the tea, but never actually taking a sip.

“Have you told Bucky about our little plan?”

“Um, to an extent. I just let him know that I was going to talk to him. Bucky asked if I wanted him to join because he wanted to talk to Steve too, but I think I need to talk to him first as his sister.”

“Probably a good idea,” Sarah nodded.

They stayed in silence for a second. Y/N never stopped stirring her tea as she looked off in the distance, no doubt playing the night out in her head. Sarah knew that her daughter just needed to have a second to think.

“I should probably start cooking dinner though. He said he’ll be here at 6 and it’s already 4,” her mom noted looking at the clock. “What are you going to do?”

“Uh, I was just going to hang out in my room and do some work until he got here, but I actually need to run an errand. I’ll try and get back before he gets here so I don’t scare him off,” Y/N sighed standing and wrapping her arms back around herself.

“Ok,” Sarah nodded going to the fridge to start on the meal. “Park your car in the garage when you get back.”

“Got it,” Y/N nodded, grabbing her keys and heading out.

__________

Y/N went about her errands, running to the pharmacy for a prescription, a quick run to work to grab some books she forgot, and a quick stop at the grocery store to get one last special thing…

But as the fates would have it, she pulled around the corner just as Steve was parking. He was a whole 30 minutes early.

And the attempt to drive away, in hopes he didn’t notice and circle back around, was pointless. Because they made awkward eye contact and Steve became stiff immediately.

“Shit,” Y/N groaned, stopping her car right in front of the driveway.

They had a quick stare off. For a second just blank faces and the next Steve looked full on infuriated and started marching back to his car.

Not letting it be that easy for him to have a clean getaway, and being the petty little sister she was, she quickly went to park behind him. She stepped out of the driver side immediately.

“Move your car, Y/N,” he groaned, sending her a glare.

“No,” she said stubbornly.

“Y/N, I’m not messing around. Move your car or else I will,” he said straightening his pose and walking to her car. But she matched his step. Was he forgetting that she had learned all her stubbornness from him. The two were two stubborn mules going head to head, and these jackasses weren't letting up on the other.

“I’m bigger and stronger than you,” he countered.

“Oh, wow. Great point there Captain obvious,” she jeered. “But not going to happen. We need to talk,” she said, standing her ground and crossing her arms with a straight face.

“I don’t want to talk,” Steve said, moving closer to her.

The two were now mere inches from being chest to chest, Y/N staring straight up at him and Steve looking down. If it had been anyone else under each of their stares, the person would have melted to the floor or ran the opposite direction and never stopped.

These two had been doing this since the dawn of time though, and neither was even close to relenting.

“Sucks because we’re going to,” she shrugged.

“Key’s Y/N. Now,” he commanded. Almost as if he was a Captain and she was a soldier beneath him.

“It’s funny you think that voice works on me. You should know I’ve become immune to it over the years by now,” she said with a smirk only making him more angry.

“Give me the-,” he resorted to grabbing her arms and trying to pry the keys out of her hands.

“No!” she shouted fighting back and turning her back to him to keep him from grabbing anything from her.

“Y/N, I swear to God,” he groaned as she elbowed him in the stomach and he started to pull her arms back in an attempt to pin them behind her and snag the keys. But she folded over, burrowing her hands toward her stomach and making it harder to get to them.

“You’re not supposed to swear to God! That’s bad juju, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes,” she mocked.

The two were in a full on wrestling match that was somehow moving to the lawn as Y/N kept trying to run off, and Steve followed eventually grabbing her around the waist and picking her off the ground.

“I’m not playing Y/N! This isn’t a joke!” he groaned just as she started kicking wildly to get him to release her.

“I’m not laughing, am I?” she screamed as he became close to winning. “No!” Y/N shouted. Her arms now pinned to her side, but the death grip she had on the keys in her hand was all she was worried about.

“Y/N Josephine Rogers! Steven Grant Rogers! Stop it right now!”

The two froze in their fight. Steve was holding Y/N around her middle about 2 feet off the ground. Y/N knees still trying to tuck into her chest to form herself into a ball and keep the treasure away. She was completely engulfed by him still as she turned to the sound of her name.

“I will not have you making a scene on my lawn. You two are not children anymore. Get your grown adult asses inside! Now.”

If Sarah Roger’s was cussing, you know you’re in deep shit. And the tone she had, matched with the deadly stare she wore, was terrifying enough to make a thief go back and apologize for robbing a bank.

“Yes ma’am,” they both said quietly.

Their mom gave them one last hard stare before stomping back inside in complete frustration and disappointment.

“Look what you did,” Y/N groaned when Steve finally put her down. “If she still has the wooden spoon from back in the day, we aren’t going to be able to sit down for the next week,” she said, brushing herself off.

Steve looked down at her not amused and rolled his eyes before he stomped up the porch himself.

“Geez, you try to lighten the mood a little,” she scoffed before following slowly after.

Once the two were inside, Steve refused to get within a 6 foot radius of Y/N. The brooding stare he had plastered on him was only furthering his intentions of showing how unhappy he was.

“Mom, he won’t stop staring at me like I kicked a puppy,” Y/N said in an irritated tone as she stayed by the threshold of the kitchen and Steve leaned back on the sink across the room.

“Y/N, sit down,” Sarah instructed, pointing the wooden spoon in hand toward the table. The ire in her voice was very clear and very scary.

Y/N didn’t hesitate to follow instructions. That wooden spoon meant business.

When she sat and looked back at Steve, he had a cocky grin on his lips at her being scolded like a child. But before he could get too comfortable, Sarah turned to him.

“You too. Don’t think for a second you’re in the clear, mister.”

Y/N choked back a laugh at the terror in his eyes as he watched the spoon carefully like the weapon it was when being wielded in her hands. He sent her a quick glare before begrudgingly sitting in the seat in front of her.

“Now, I’m going to make a plate and we’re going to sit down and have a nice family dinner. Understand?” she asked without looking back.

“Yes ma’am,” they both sighed.

“Good,” she nodded, grabbing plates.

“Uh, ma?”

“Yes?”

“I have some things in the car I need to get or…” Y/N paused looking at Steve who had switched to avoiding eye-contact with her. “Well, it can’t sit out in the car.”

“You’re excused,” Sarah nodded. “But don’t piddle around.”

“Ok,” Y/N nodded before quickly going back to her car and putting the things she needed into the fridge out in the garage.

“You set me up,” Steve said once she was out of the room and he heard the front door shut.

“Yes. And?”

“Really, Ma? Why’d you lie and tell me she wasn’t going to be here?” he groaned with an irked attitude.

“Watch your tone,” she warned. “And I lied because apparently you don’t remember what I taught you about having an adult discussion when you’re upset instead of pouting. Especially with your family.”

Steve caught on quickly seeing his mother knew more of the situation than he figured. “You know?”

“I’m not blind, Steven.”

“And you’re not upset?” he asked, confused.

Sarah stopped placing the food on her plate and turned to him. She saw the pain in his eyes. The hurt from the whole situation. She let out a sigh and dropped the hard act just a tad.

“Steven, I haven’t seen your sister this kind of happy since her junior year,” she answered, looking around the corner to make sure Y/N wasn’t back in yet. “I know she had a great time overseas and with college, but this is a different kind of happiness. One that I’m not going to question.”

“Did she tell you?” he asked, wanting to know if he was just the odd one out.

“No, I just have a mother’s intuition,” she smiled, walking over and placing a hand on his shoulder. “But we have talked and I’ve heard her reasoning. All I’m asking for tonight is that you do that same. You can’t be mad at someone or judge another if you don’t know their side of the story. I’ve taught you better than that,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “Am I wrong?”

He didn’t answer immediately. He was slipping from angry back to upset and defeated. Eventually he nodded and relaxed more in his chair.

Y/N came back in and the two looked up at her. She slowly walked back to her chair, but paused before sitting down.

“Need help with anything mom?” she asked in the weird silence.

“No, dear. I’m ok. I’ll actually take my plate to the study, you guys stay here,” she instructed, grabbing utensils for herself and a napkin with her plate.

“Wait-” Y/N said, all of a sudden nervous being left alone with her brother.

“This is not my conversation to be had. This is between you two,” she pointed before walking out of the room. “I will say this,” she turned back. “No one’s leaving until this is resolved. I’m not going to have my children hate each other or act like their still in middle school, you hear me?” she pointed to them both.

They looked at each other for a second, silently communicating before turning back to their mom.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good. I’ll be in the other room if you need me,” she smiled softly before finally disappearing.

Awkward tension almost instantly filled the atmosphere. No one was making eye contact with the other, Steve’s shoulders were rigid, and Y/N was gripping the back of the chair she was standing behind so hard that her knuckles were turning white.

Eventually, she spoke up.

“So, I have some explaining to do,” she said softly.

Steve finally looked up, but she couldn't read his emotions. After a second, he stood up and walked over to the plates their mom had set out and started placing his own meal on it.

“Right. I have a feeling I’ll be doing a good chunk of the talking then…” she caught on watching him move around the stove with his back toward her. “Steve, I don’t know where to start, ok? I don’t know what to tell you other than we thought we were protecting you.”

“Protecting me?” he said in a harsh laugh as he turned around.

“Yes.” Her answer was solid and showed no doubt behind it.

“Please, explain to me then how you and my best friend hiding such a big secret behind my back was protecting me,” he scoffed, grabbing a fork and walking back to the table. Slightly aggressively he moved the vegetables around on his plate before stabbing a piece of broccoli and biting into it without looking away from her.

“I will,” she said matter of factly sitting across from him, forgetting the food and interlacing her fingers in front of her as she leaned forward. Her eye contact was strong so he could see just how much she meant what she was about to say.

“Once we figured out there were feelings between us,” she paused seeing how weird this conversation was to have now. Steve even tensed more at the mention as well. “We sat down and talked. First, Bucky said he wasn’t going to follow through with it.” Steve’s eyes furrowed at that. “He wasn’t willing to lose your friendship and jeopardize ruining a life long relationship.”

Steve eased up some at the news. Bucky never said that…

“And at first, I was upset,” Y/N continued. “I was angry that he was going to let you depict how we went about life. So we walked away from the discussion and acted as if anything that had happened between us was pushed to the side and forgotten.”

“What changed?” Steve spoke up quietly, now lightly picking at the food on his plate.

“Well…” she thought back. “I had gone ahead and accepted that fact. I figured it would be awkward for a little, but if he didn’t want to do anything about it, then I wasn’t going to push. But then, later the day of my interview, I went to Becca’s for a wine night. When I showed up, Becca wasn’t alone. Bucky had come over and wanted to talk again.”

Steve was listening intently, but played with his food not wanting to show his interest since he was angry.

“He, uh… I guess he came to the conclusion that he didn’t want to regret not seeing where it went. And at that moment, I saw his perspective from the beginning. I didn’t want to be the reason you two had a falling out. I wasn’t going to be the person who took away your best friend if things didn’t work the way we wanted,” she said sadly, looking down at her hands as she picked at her nails.

Steve looked up and his face softened. No one had told him that both had tried pushing their feelings aside just to preserve him. They didn’t want to hurt him in the end, and they had been trying to prevent that from the beginning.

“But Bucky made a good point. We as well have been friends for a while and hopefully, if things didn’t work out between us, we could be civil. Hell, we even made a pact that if we did start a relationship and it ended up falling apart, we would stay civil and stay friends no matter what. We didn’t want it to be awkward for anyone else or ourselves. We’ve been a part of each other's lives too long to let that hurt us, hopefully.”

“So what made you guys decide to…” This was weird coming out of his mouth. “Start dating?”

Y/N chuckled softly at how awkward Steve looked saying that.

“We realized that what we felt for each other wasn’t something that could be ignored. We enjoyed each other's company, we clearly had romantic feelings for each other, and we’ve had a past that made us almost just as close friends as you guys are. I mean, Becca will always be my own Bucky, but he was there just as much in my life. He’s always looked out for me, and I’ve always tried to do the same for him…” She hadn’t realized she was smiling thinking back on it and when she finally came out of her thoughts, she looked up at Steve who was staring at her. “I don’t know how to explain it, Stevie. There’s a pull. A connection that’s just there. It just… It just made sense.”

Steve was no longer as tight in his body language as he was earlier. If anything, he looked deep in thought as if realization had hit him. She let him sit there and sift through all the new information. She knew he needed time to process, so she gave it to him.

Eventually he spoke up in just barely a whisper.

“How long have you guys-?” He didn’t finish the sentence as if he was still trying to find where it was going.

Y/N figured he knew what he was trying to say, so she answered.

“We’ve been dating for almost two months.”

“No,” he shook his head as he stared, unblinking at the table in front of him. “How long have you loved him?”

Shocked by the comment, Y/N widened her eyes when she turned to him.

“What?”

He finally broke his gaze from the table and looked at her. She could have swore she saw the slightest hint of a smile on his face. Vague and barely visible, but she could see something.

“Come on, Y/N. How long?” he pushed.

She had to think. She hadn’t really put into words that she loved him yet. Had she felt it? Now that she thought about it, yeah… She had always felt love for Bucky. It had changed in the last few months, but after her conversation with her mom the night before, she had realized maybe she was just as blind as Bucky was back in the day.

“I don’t think I could put a set date to it,” she answered. “I think it’s almost always been there and it took me growing up to know what that feeling was.”

Practically the same answer that Bucky had told him, just worded slightly different.

“Are you happy?” he asked, leaning forward some. The question and look he was giving her begging for an honest answer.

She didn’t hold back the smile that came to her lips. A genuine, pure, and blissful smile.

“Very. I’m very happy, Steve.”

He watched her for a second longer as if waiting for any tell that she was lying, but there was nothing. Nothing apprehensive about it.

“Ok,” he nodded sitting back in his chair.

“Ok?” she asked, shocked and confused.

“Yes. Ok,” he repeated, and that small hint of a smile from earlier grew some.

“Is that an, ‘Ok, whatever,’ or an ‘Ok, good,’ because those are two very different types of okays, believe it or not,” she asked, leaning forward with a raised eyebrow.

He let out a short, but real laugh. “Ok, as in I’m glad you’re happy. End of the day, that’s all I want for you… And Buck.”

“You’re not mad anymore?”

“Should I be? Cause I can flip the switch back it you wa-”

“No! No! We’re happy! We like that answer,” she was quick to cut him off.

“Ok then,” he laughed, going back to pick at his food. Y/N smiled with him and finally had an appetite to go and grab her own plate. “Almost two months?” he asked eventually.

Turning from the stove she looked back at him.

“Yeah, two months in like a week I’m pretty sure,” she calculated as she went back to making her plate and coming back to sit down.

“So that means, you’re the girl he’s been dating and not telling me anything about?”

“What?”

“Classical Mythology; A-Z encyclopedia? I should have noticed right then and there,” Steve laughed fully now.

“Oh God. I almost forgot about that,” Y/N laughed, running a hand through her hair. “That was an interesting night…”

“Ew, I don’t want the details,” Steve said, getting grossed out. “I’m trying to eat.”

“Oh, shut up. Nothing like that’s happened, and even if it did, I wouldn’t be telling you. That was just the night of our real first date,” she said, throwing a carrot at him that he deflected. “A night you were supposed to be at home and he could come pick me up without issues, but you had us thinking on our feet.”

He shook his head realizing just how oblivious he had been. Well, not fully oblivious.

“You know, thinking about it, he’s been a lot more peppy the last couple months,” Steve nodded more seriously now. “At first I thought it was just a change in pace, then he was sneaking out for dates with this mystery girl who I just assumed was someone he wanted to keep a secret because he wasn’t ready to share. Now, I’m starting to realize that I’m just a bad detective…” The last comment was a joke to himself.

“You’re not a bad detective. You didn’t even know you were supposed to be investigating us. We’re good like that,” she winked and he shook his head at her with a smile. “But in all realness, we were trying to look out for you. Like I said, if things didn’t go our way and we didn’t work out, we didn’t want everyone around us to have to endure that weird process with us.”

“I understand now,” he nodded. “I mean I wish you guys would have just talked to me, but I understand where you’re coming from.”

“I’m glad you get it. We really didn’t want to hurt you Stevie,” she said reaching across and grabbing his hand. “We love you too much to bring you down with us.”

“I love you guys too,” he said squeezing her hand.

A sweet sibling's silent conversation was had with their eyes before they went back to eating and laughing as they caught up.

“Is it safe to come back into the war zone again?” Their mom asked, coming back into the room. Her plate halfway done, but still pretty full.

“Yes, we’re brother and sister again,” Y/N joked.

“Good. I was getting bored in the study. The TV’s cable box isn’t working,” she said sitting down with them and going back to eating. “Speaking of. Steve can you-?”

“I’ll look at it for ya, Mom,” he laughed.

“Thank you sweetheart,” she said pinching his cheek. “Ok, so family movie night since we all love each other again?”

“Only if I get to pick,” Y/N interjected.

“You’re going to pick another murder mystery and I’m pretty sure we’ve already watched all the one’s Netflix has to offer,” Steve deadpanned.

“Ok, and? We have Hulu too,” she said, making a ‘psh’ sound as she stabbed a piece of food on her plate and filled her cheeks in a very unlady-like way.

“No. No more murder shows,” Sarah spoke up.

“I agree. I already see enough crime scenes at my job as it is,” Steve added pointing his fork at her.

“Fine, one of you guys can pick,” she relented. “Oh! That reminds me!” They both looked at her as she didn’t finish her sentence.

“Reminds you of…?”

“I got ice cream and Root Beer,” she smiled. “That’s what I had to get out of my car earlier.”

“Root beer floats?” Steve asked excitedly. “God, I don’t remember the last time I’ve had one of those. Those were dad’s favorite…” he smiled, but in fondness.

“I know. And anytime we had an argument, he would make us sit down and talk,” Y/N said with knowing eyes to their mom. “Then after we would make root beer floats.”

“He said it made everything better after a bad day,” Steve said in reminiscence.

“Joseph always knew how to fix a bad day with something so simple,” Sarah smiled with a sentimental grin.

“He sure did,” Y/N agreed, and they all shared a moment leading them to stories here and there about their memories as a family. The topic of their father was one that could tend to be touchy, but this time all it did was bring joy and that sense of nostalgia they needed.

(Tags for this series will be closing soon as it is getting pretty full, please send an ask if you want to be added:)

I’ll post on whatever chapter I decided to close it down here.

The Number One Rule (TNOR) Taglist:

@shadowolf993 @hello-i-am-daydreaming @jessyballet @emmabarnes @kmuir1 @beautifulrare4leafclover @thefallenbibliophilequote @l0ve-0f-my-life @shawnie--jo @asoftie4bucky @katiaw2 @sheeple @sznri @bxtchboy69 @taliarosej00 @bakugouswh0r3 @stopjustlovethemcu @babemendesxz @jenniereiji @taliarosej00 @loveyou5everr @natdrunk @im-a-light-child @stucky-my-ship

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness

@bellamy-barnes

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555 @iheartsebastianstan @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky

269 notes · View notes

forever-rogue · 4 years

Text

Afterglow - Part 6

A/N: Honey Bee finally made the smartest decision of her life in the last chapter and now...time to deal with the fallout. Thank you guys for supporting and loving this story too! As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know. xx 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: None

AFTERGLOW MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

Spitting out the toothpaste into the sink, you groaned slightly when you realized that you had left your mouthwash back on your desk. Tilting your head under the tap, you got a mouthful of water and swished it around in your mouth, trying to get the last bits of toothpaste out.

When you were satisfied with the lackluster brushing, you quickly splashed some cold water onto your face to wake yourself up. But it was no use - you still looked as tired and dragged out as you felt. There were dark circles under your eyes, your lips were chapped and cracked, and the joy you normally held in your eyes was all but gone. You had been going through the motions for the last three, feeling more like an empty shell than anything else.

But you felt liberated - free. More so than you had in a long time. That in itself made your current struggle worth it.

Grabbing your toothpaste, toothbrush, and hairbrush, you stalked out of the bathroom, ready to slink back to your office before anyone else arrived.

Looking furtively around the hall, you walked the short distance to your own office, almost making it to safety when you heard your name being called softly. Groaning inwardly, you cleared your throat and turned around, plastering on the best smile you could.

"Ally," you said softly, "y-you're here early!"

"I was just thinking the same thing," she joked, and while you could tell she meant no harm, it still caused you to panic slightly. She was well aware of you calling off your engagement, hell the whole world seemed to know, but she never seemed to pity you for it. Her eyes flicked to the items in your hands as a warmth crept into your chest and blossomed over your whole face, "I'm meeting a client early this morning because it was the only thing that fit into his schedule. Are you..."

You remained silent for a moment, hanging your head before letting out a long sigh, "look, I've just been staying here since things ended with Chad. I'm trying to find my own place, but its been a bit of a difficult go. Turns that a lot of people don't want to rent to you if you happen to have supposedly wronged Chad Williams. It seems like everyone knows him."

She reached out and gave your shoulder a soft, reassuring squeeze. Meeting her eyes, you found a small smile on her face, luckily not one of pity, "I'm sorry he's making things miserable still. I'm guessing your parents are out of the question?"

"Absolutely not an option," you admitted with a stiff laugh, "my mom seemed okay at first but she and my father quickly came to the conclusion that I was in the wrong and making a horrible mistake. They insisted I was just going through a phase because of nerves. When I told them I was sure about my decision and wasn’t going back, they all but...disowned me. Imagine the shame I’ve brought upon them in their minds...they’re so old fashioned. Maybe they’ll come around one day.”

"Yikes," she said as you nodded, "can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I never liked him," she admitted softly, causing you to almost give yourself whiplash as you looked over at her, "there was just something about him that was off. I think - I know, you can do so much better."

"Thank you," you said as you laughed lightly, trying to hold the tears that threatened to well up at bay, "I hope so too."

"I mean it," she insisted, "you're kind, smart, pretty, and you've got a good heart. What more could anyone ask for?"

"Apparently a dutiful, quiet little wife..."

"Very funny," she teased, "why don't you come and stay with us? While you get your own place? We've got an extra bedroom that's not being used, and it's much better than staying here. Have you been sleeping on your hard old couch?”

"Yes..."

"Absolutely not," she shook her head, "come over when you're done for the day. We'll get the room ready for you. Anna will be happy to see you again too. And you know what, it's not an option, its a demand. Just come over tonight and we'll get you settled. I'll have Anna pick up some wine for dinner and everything."

"Ally, you're much too kind..." you said as her phone stared to ring. She looked at the screen and a big smile spread across her visage as her wife's name popped up on the screen.

"Speak of the devil," she laughed lightly, "tonight! No if, ands, or buts!"

You could only nod as she walked away, chattering excitedly as she went to her own office. Before stepping in and closing the door, she gave you a grin and wave that was enough to cause a single tear to roll down your cheek. It had been weeks since anyone had even shown you an ounce of kindness; most people had decided to scorn you instead, blaming you for everything that had happened. Wiping the warm drop away, you stepped foot into your own office, stashing your toiletries away for what you hoped would be the last time. Hopefully that everything you'd finally be able to have a proper, long, hot shower and sleep in a bed, two luxuries that you had been greatly missing.

Pulling out a dress from the small wardrobe, you slipped it on, vowing to stop your little pity party. Sure, things weren't ideal right now, but you were still so much better off than others. That was something you did not take for granted.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Men really can be the worst,” Anna laughed, almost snorting into her wine as you held up your glass in a mock salute, “can you imagine being that pathetic and trying to sabotage someone you supposedly loved? I think it speaks volumes to his character.”

“The longer we were together, the more I realized that it was never about love, even if that’s how it started out. It was always about appearances and trying to please everyone else. It was getting so tiring.”

“I can only imagine,” Ally gave her your leg a small pat as you downed the rest of your glass, “but at least you’re free now. It’s easy to fall into routine and not realize how unhappy we’ve become. We get used to just staying on one path. Usually it takes something big to make us realize what we’re doing isn’t what we wanted in the first place.”

“Okay Dr. Ally,” Anna teased her wife, “we’re not at the office. But I agree...I am curious, and happy, as to what caused you to realize that you deserve more.”

You felt the blood draining from your face almost immediately as you swallowed nervously, mouth dry. You weren’t about to delve into the memories and dreams that had been plaguing you over the weeks, becoming increasingly more frequent the closer your former wedding date had approached. Frankly, you hadn’t even admitted that to yourself yet, not out loud anyway.

How were you supposed to tell yourself, let anyone else, that the reason you realized you deserved was better because you’d been dreaming of your high school boyfriend again? It had been twenty years, twenty long years without him - there was no reason you should have even given him a second thought. Yet...here you were. Still hung up on Frankie Morales, the boy that had earned your heart...and then brought it into a million pieces. You knew, you would be the first to admit, that it wasn’t all his fault, that you were to blame to an extent as well, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Ever since the day that you had run into him again, a day that should have been like any other, he’d been living rent free in your mind. Even if you hated him, even if you were still mad at him after all this time. You couldn’t help but wonder - what if. What if.

What if he had come to California with you and you’d both stayed there? What if you had waited for him while you went to school and he was in the military? What if he’d come back to you long ago? Would you still be together? Would you be married to him? Would you have a daughter or son that took on both of your best qualities? Or would you have eventually fallen out and broken up anyway, only to loathe each with every fiber of your being? Would you have stayed together?”

What if. What if. What if.

It was that haunted you for so long now.

“Umm,” you snapped back into reality and pushed the thought of the boy you had loved out of your mind. You set the glass back down and made a small, noncommittal sound, “it was just a lot of things. The more real things became with the wedding planning the more I realized that I didn’t want this. It was at my last dress fitting actually, that I realized I couldn’t do it.”

“That must have been quite a wake up call,” Anna’s eyes widened as she imagined the scene as you nodded, taking the almost empty bottle of wine and pouring the remainder into your class.

“It was,” you admitted with a long sigh, “you should have been the poor dress maker. I almost ran out on her. But you know, even though things are far from perfect right now, I would still do it all again.”

“Cheers to that,” Ally held up her class, and the two of you clinked yours against it, “now to bigger and better things. You can, and will, do so much better.”

“Thank you both,” just being in their presence, let alone their home, had you feeling infinitely better, “I don’t even know where to begin to thank you.”

“What are friends for?”

“I, however, do have some more good news,” Anna was proud of herself as the two of your gave her an inquisitive look, “I spoke to my friend who is a realtor today, no connection to Chad or anything, and he said he has a perfect little house available! It’s a little on the outskirts of town, a small, quiet neighborhood, but that it would be perfect for you. It’s not big, just a little two bedroom, one bath, but it’s all been redone recently, and it’s quaint. He showed me some pictures and I think you’d really like it.”

“You did...you did this for me?” you felt another wave of tears sting at the back of your eyes as she nodded.

“I’m not trying to push this on you at all, or anything of the sort,” she promised, “but we were talking and it just came up and I thought of you. I thought I’d just tell you in case you were interested...you are, of course, welcome to stay with us however long you want.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” you said softly, “truly. I’d love to see the place. If you like, I’m sure it’ll be great. And honestly, it would be nice to get out of the city and be a little bit out of the way and I don’t need anything much. I just want a place that will feel like home...my own place.”

“Obviously it comes with the stipulation that we will get to help decorate and pick out furniture if you move into it.”

“I would expect nothing less,” you agreed, “it’s going to be nice getting my own things and having it be truly mine.”

“A fresh start,” she agreed, “I’ll tell Elijah that we’ll stop by tomorrow and take a look? How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” you agreed, feeling your heart finally feel warm again, as a wave of calm washed over you, “absolutely perfect.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

The next two weeks were a whirlwind of moving, although you technically didn’t have much to move, furniture shopping, unpacking, and organizing your new home.

The house was cute, an older little home that had been recently renovated with a small yard and a perfect spot for a garden. You could already picture yourself gardening once the cooler autumn and winter months were over.

It wasn’t huge, but it had a spare bedroom you decided would serve as a home office and occasional guest room, although you figured you weren’t going to have many of those considering how easily everyone had cut you off. It was open, warm, and inviting, and it was perfect for what you wanted. It had brought up the idea of maybe adopting a dog or cat to keep as your friend. It had made you think of something that Frankie always said: anyone who wasn’t willing to share their home with an animal was as good as heartless.

It served as a sharp contrast to your former living situation; everything in the apartment you had shared with Chad had been cold, dark, and minimalistic. Nothing about it had ever felt truly homey, more like an ornate display at an art museum you were afraid to even look at. Chad had never wanted an animal of any sorts, not even a goldfish, claiming that it would take up too much time, too much space, and he just didn’t want something to take care of.

But your new home was the polar opposite, it was romantic and airy and filled with items and trinkets that made it feel like a home. A little animal friend would fit in perfectly. You were fitting in perfectly already.

You’d even made it a point to go around the neighborhood and introduce yourself to people. Your justification was that you had literally nothing to lose, your family had turned their backs on you, your ex-fiance had taken almost all of the so called friends you’d had, and were left to your own devices. In the worst case scenario, you’d have met a few unsavory people, and in the best case scenario you’d get to know your neighbors and maybe make a few friends.

Something in the stars seemed to align, as your neighbors turned out to be kind and welcoming, and you were sure the cookies you offered them weren't a deterrent either. They were mostly either older couples, or small families, a few roommates that lived together. The normalcy of it all was endearing, and to know that you had a place that you were welcome was enough to let your heart rest easy.

The only mystery that remained was your next door neighbor, the one on your left side. Whoever it was had been missing, gone or something, since you’d moved in several weeks before. While trying to maintain a respectful distance, you’d kept an eye on the house to see if you could spy anyone coming or going, see a car...something. But you never did - not even seen so much as a porch light flicker on. It seemed odd, especially in this neighborhood.

One afternoon, in the middle of unpacking the new bits of furniture for your living room and rearranging everything for about the tenth time, curiosity got the better of you. Maybe it was because you were in the middle of watching some true crime documentaries as you worked but you just felt...nervous. You were concerned about the health and safety of this mysterious neighbor that you hadn’t even met. You’d hastily wiped the sweat from your brow before rushing over to the neighbor on the other side of the seemingly nonexistent neighbor.

Unfortunately, much to your chagrin, the other neighbor, an older widowed man by the name of Eddie, who happened to have an adorable dog that you decided you’d offer to take on walks, was just as clueless as you.

He said he’d seen the man, at least you narrowed it down to that much, come on and go on occasion, but that he kept odd hours. He commented that he must have worked evenings or something, because he wasn’t around much at that time and it was always quiet during the day. Apparently it wasn’t odd for him to be gone for days at a time, or at least for no one to notice him. At least he’d be a quiet neighbor if he ever appeared again. But the older man hadn’t seemed too concerned, so figured there was nothing to worry about. You ended finding out that he was likely around your age, with dark hair. That was about all that Eddie knew; he said the man whose name he couldn’t even remember had always kept to himself since he’d moved in a few years ago.

You’d thanked him, given the small fluffy dog a few pets and trudged back to your own place, arms filled with various baked goods, including a delicious smelling loaf of banana bread. Eddie had proudly declared that he had taken up the hobby of baking in his retirement and he always had been plenty to share. You made a mental note to store that little piece of info away for future use.

And yet still, even as more days passed, you still didn’t see hide nor hair of the mystery man. You’d gone to work each morning, wondering if maybe you just missed him and you had conflicting schedules. You didn’t know why you even cared so much, or what drew you to solving this mystery, but you were just inexplicably invested.

One evening, as you were watching some Netflix and unwinding with a glass of wine, browsing the adoptable animals at the local shelter, it hit you. It was like the proverbial lightbulb had been switched on and you came up with a brilliant idea. When you’d moved in, you’d taken some fresh, homemade cookies to everyone in the small cul-de-sac - why didn’t you just make some for him?

It was brilliant, you thought to yourself as you set the wine glass down and almost tossed your laptop to the floor in excitement. You would make your favorite cookies, soft, gooey chocolate chip ones you fancied so much, get them all safely in a container and drop them off when you felt for work in the morning. If they were gone by the time you came home that would mean he had to have been there.

Yes, you thought to yourself, this is brilliant. No one could turn down a plate of fresh cookies.

So you’d spent the rest of the evening, bouncing around the kitchen excitedly, pouring your heart and soul into the every little step it took to make the perfect treat. By the time you’d gone to bed, excited and worn out, the little package was sitting on your counter for your to grab on your way out. This was going to be it, you just knew it.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You woke up early the next morning, even before your alarm went off, a smile on your face despite being tired. You almost stopped dead in your tracks when you realized that this was the first, the first time in what felt like a small eternity that you woke up like that. It was a good feeling, and you hoped that you would be able to hang onto it.

Once you’d showered and done up your makeup and hair to your liking, you slipped on a pretty golden dress. It always made you feel pretty, the color bringing a slight bit of joy into your heart. You always felt confident and good in it, and you decided it was just what you needed. If your last session ended early enough, you even planned on stopping by the animal shelter to see if you made a connection with any of the adoptable animals. It was going to be a good day. You could feel it in your bones.

Once you were ready to go, you grabbed your pre-packed lunch from the fridge, along with your purse and the package for your mystery neighbor. Almost flouncing over to his porch because you were buzzing with energy, you hopped up the steps and set it on the front porch and center, in the middle of the doormat, topped off with a handwritten note introducing yourself. The mat was a generic one, and you did a little look around to see if you could find a name or any personal touches around the porch. But there was nothing - no clue as to who it could be. It was no matter, you told yourself, you would have your answers soon enough.

Giving the neatly wrapped container one last fond look, you headed to your car and off to work. Hopefully you’d be busy enough to keep your mind occupied. It was silly to get so invested in something so trivial and yet...here you were. An eternal dreamer and optimist at heart, just like you always had been, even as a teenager. Even if you had to suppress that side of yourself for some time, more so with each passing year, you were still the same girl underneath it all.

The day felt like it had like it went by in a blur as you saw several of your regular patients, feeling like you were finally able to help them properly and give them your undivided attention. It went so well that you did manage to finish up early, which meant you could have your fun and go look at animals. You knew it would be a challenge to meet different pets and not be able to take them all home, but you were willing to give it the old college try.

You hadn’t bothered to stop home and change, opting to go straight to the shelter.

»»————-　♡　————-««

As soon as you'd gotten there and started looking at the different dogs, you knew it would be hard.

So many of the sweet dogs came up to you, some wagging their tails in nervous excitement, some just beside themselves, but others were more reluctant, sitting and observing you. You went up to as many as you could, keeping a respectful distance from them and offering them your hand to sniff. A couple of them give you a few licks, letting you reach in and pet them, but getting distracted as soon as they spied other people. Sweet dogs, all of them, but those weren’t the ones for you. As you walked through the various dogs, you were disheartened to find that you didn’t seem to have a connection to any of them. You hoped they would go to good homes soon regardless. Maybe it wasn’t your day to find a companion, which was totally okay with you. You’d just come back some other day and make sure that one of them got a home in your adobe.

But as you neared the end of the last row, you stopped when you spotted a small dog, small for being a pitbull that was, sitting in the corner of her kennel, a sad, dejected look on her face. She was a pretty thing, light tan with white marking on her sweet face, but her eyes contained a deep sadness.

“Hi, sweet girl,” you said softly as you didn’t even hesitate to drop to your knees, dropping on the floor of the kennel, sliding a few fingers under the barrier keeping you from her, trying to coax her to you. She observed you with keen interest, but remained rooted in her spot, “you are so pretty! I bet you’re just as sweet too, aren’t you? I can tell…”

“She’s very sweet,” one of the shelter’s volunteers, a young boy by the name of Lucas that had let you in, said as he walked up to you, “but she’s really shy. She’s less than a year old, but she’s already had a go of it.”

“What happened to her?” you asked gently, keeping your voice down so you wouldn’t startle her, “she looks so sad.”

“She was abused by her former owner, sadly. They found her when they went to raid the owner’s home, apparently he was a small time drug dealer on top of it,” he explained and you made a small in the back of your throat as you just looked at her. It made your heart break to know that this poor animal, and so many others like her, were being abused for no reason - not that anyone, person or animal, should ever have been abused, “it’s made her shy, but she does warm up to people.”

“What’s her name?” you asked as she moved ever so marginally closer to you. You smiled at her, giving her an encouraging little nod.

“Daisy.”

“Daisy,” you called softly as her ears perked up slightly. It suited her, you decided, a soft pretty name for a pretty girl, “hi sweet Daisy. You are a big lovebug underneath it all, aren’t you?”

She turned her slightly to look at as you offered her a small, reassuring nod.

“How about Miss Daisy Mae?” you asked her and you got a glimpse of her tail wagging ever so slightly, “yeah, I think that’s perfect too. May I pet you?”

It was silent, completely so sans for the other dogs in their kennels as you attempted to gain her trust. You didn’t want to scare her off, but you wanted to see if you could get her to come closer. Lucas told you could stay as long as you wanted, and you decided that you would do just that, plopping onto your bottom as you gently spoke to her. You spent some time sitting there, talking to her about anything and everything, and slowly, inch by precious inch, she came closer to you until she was just a few inches from your hand. When you moved your hand and she didn’t flinch, you gently petted her muzzle, tracing over it delicately with a few fingers.

“You’ve been through a lot,” you mused quietly and she gently rubbed her head into your hand, “but you’ve got so much life left to live. So many happy things to come. Would you like to come home with me and see? I have a big bed that I have all to myself, and I could really use a companion to take up some of the space. Would you like to help me?”

She made a small sound as she looked up at you, her tail wagging ever so slightly. That was enough to convince you that you were making the right decision. Giving Daisy one last gentle touch, you slowly pulled your hand back to keep from startling her and jumped to your feet. She was yours, it hadn’t taken much to figure that out, and you were going to make sure she came home with you.

Telling her you would be back in a little bit, you went off in search of Lucas, to tell him to get you all the paperwork so you could bring her home with that day.

»»————-　♡　————-««

As soon as Daisy was all yours, you’d set her up in your car, draping a big, soft blanket over the backseat for her. You were glad you kept one in your car for whatever occasion called for it; this was the perfect time. As soon as she seemed to realize what was happening, Daisy’s eyes had lit up and she already seemed like a different dog, her tail going softly, but nonstop as she stayed close to your side.

You’d stopped by the pet store on your way home, bringing her in with you as you stocked up on the best dog food, treats, several big fluffy beds (one for each room of the house naturally), and let her pick out several toys. Whatever she wanted she got, honestly, and before you knew it before pushing a huge cartful to the counter to the pay. Daisy, now in a pretty yellow collar and leash, followed closely by your side, a little stuffed bear in her mouth. This felt so right, so natural, almost like you had meant to find her. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had felt this much joy in your heart, and you hoped the feeling would never go away.

“And this is where we live,” you told her as you pulled into the driveway, pulling up to the garage and turning off the car. She stood up and went to the window, looking out eagerly. Your break broke a little when you realize she probably never got to run and play like any puppy should, but you vowed to change that. You got and opened the door, not even bothering to stop her as she jumped out and started to sniff everywhere.

Sighing contentedly at the sight of the happy dog, the one that had quickly turned from nervous to optimistic, you started to gather everything out of the car to bring inside. Daisy came back to your side, following you with keen attention as you opened the door to the house and let her explore.

It wasn’t until your last excursion to the car to bring in the last of the toys, that your attention wandered back to your MIA neighbor. When you studied his house, you noticed that all the lights were off, and there was no car in the driveway. The package you had you left for him was still right where you had placed that morning. A small, dejected sigh left your lips as you quickly dashed over and retrieved the package. It was only slightly heartbreaking, but you knew it wasn’t due to any fault of yours. But still...you couldn’t help but wonder. Who was he? Where was he? Maybe one day your questions would be answered, but at least for now you had your new friend to keep you company. Just as you thought about her, you heard a small, almost tiny bark from your door as Daisy poked her head out and looked excitedly at you.

“Coming sweet girl!” you promised her as you ran back over to her. This day was decidedly not a waste in the slightest, you reminded yourself, you had a new friend and that was more important than anything else.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Several more days passed, and Daisy adjusted to life with you without a hitch. She really was the sweetest girl you had met, and she had won a big spot in your heart, and bed, almost instantly. Gone were the cookies you had baked for the neighbor you thought might not actually exist, eaten with some milk as you watched Netflix late into the evening with Daisy snoozing next to you.

Something though, whatever little stubborn streak you had, told you to keep trying.

So you did.

That night you dragged yourself back to the kitchen and repeated the painstaking process of making your now neighborhood famous cookies again. He was going to get these cookies come hell or high water. This time Daisy joined you in the kitchen and watched your every move intently, as you walked her through the process, giving her your best impression of some lofty Food Network chef.

Just as you had previously done earlier in the week, you prepped everything and stuck the same note on the top, making sure it looked perfect. Even if it ended up as another batch that you would eat, you wanted to go through the efforts and ensure it was perfect.

The next morning, you herded Daisy into the car, allowing her to come to your office with you. She had been enjoying coming to your office and greeting your clients, being a good girl and laying on her bed while you worked. Many of them seemed to find her comforting, and as thought she could sense when they needed something, which she probably did, she’d often go to comfort them with wet kisses and nuzzles. Ally had suggested that you look into her having certified as a therapy dog, which you decided was a perfect idea.

You wandered over to his porch and left the little package again and turned to head off to work. Whatever was meant to happen would happen. So if he didn’t come and get the cookies, so be it. You’d stop worrying about it and let it go.

When you got home that evening, you brought everything inside and let Daisy into the backyard to roam around before her dinner time, when you looked through the front windows to try and see your neighbor’s porch. You huffed when you came to the conclusion that you were at just the wrong angle to be able to see anything. Stalking out the front door to get a better look, you sighed deeply when the package was once again there. What had you really expected? You’d struck out for weeks now, the man was an enigma to yourself and everyone else around, it was a far cry that you’d ever really see him.

Grumbling at yourself for being too hopeful and optimistic, you trudged over to his porch, ready to take the cookies back again and enjoy them for yourself. Maybe you could bring them, and Daisy, over to Eddie and see if he would enjoy them and the dogs would get along. It wasn’t terribly exciting, but it was something anyway.

You bent down to pick up the small container, ready to head back home and get on with your day. But just as you swooped up the container, you heard the door unlock, causing you to jump back in surprise, dropping the container and letting it clatter to the ground. You took a step back and looked up, finding the door open, but the screen closed. Squinting your eyes, you tried to make out the person on the other side but found it almost impossible.

“H-hi,” you stammered nervously, hoping the person wouldn’t think you were stealing or snooping around, “I-I moved into the neighborhood a few weeks ago, and I was just...I made cookies! I was going to introduce myself but I hadn’t seen you or anything, so I figured I’d leave them for you. They-they’re not old though, I made this batch last night.”

Nothing but silence met your ears for several moments as you nervously picked up the container to display it for him. You were nervous suddenly, terrified that you had somehow offended him, or...something.

“I-I’ll get going,” you said as you set the cookies on the bench that was near the door. Unsure why you felt the need to keep speaking you gave him your name, letting it linger in the air for a moment, “I live right next door, so I guess maybe I will see you around. Yeah...well, umm...goodbye!”

But before you made it off the porch, you heard the screen door open, and swing shut. You swallowed the lump in your throat, ready to turn around and make a proper introduction when you heard your name whispered so quietly, that you thought you might have imagined it. That voice...that soft, gentle voice caused your heart to skip a few beats. You knew that voice.

Turning around slowly, you came face to face with the man that had been on your mind for weeks. You brought your eyes up to the man’s face and a small gasp of surprise left your lips.

“F-Frankie?” except this wasn’t the Frankie you’d known. No, this man was tired looking, nothing but sheer exhaustion on his face, dark circles, parched lips, no trace of facial hair, his hair flattened from what you knew was a signature hat. This was a different man, a world weary man, a man who you never intended on seeing again. But you knew that voice, you knew it so well, you’d recognize it anywhere, even after all this time. But there was something about him, how he was looking at you that broke our heart.

He remained silent as his dark eyes watched you, wondering how and why on earth you’d ended up as his neighbor. It was like some force was at play, some weird thing that kept bringing the two of you together.

He remained silent as the two of you looked at each other, his eyes quickly flicked to your left hand. You straightened up when you noticed that and got ready to walk away, unsure of how to feel in that moment. Once again, your life was thrown in a complete tailspin.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, unable to find any words.

But before you could leave his porch, his hand went to your wrist, taking it gently in his large hand as you immediately turned around and gave him a wide eyed stare.

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as you looked at him in silent question, and he did the same.

This was Frankie - your Frankie. After all these years, he was still yours.

Before either of you could say anything, he gently grabbed your face and studied it for a moment before crashing his lips onto yours. It took a moment for you to react, and for a few beats before you kissed him back, not even having to think about it. But just as quickly as it had started you came to your senses and while part of you was screaming to continue to kiss him, the logical part of your brain took over and you pushed him away from you. Immediately realizing what you were doing, he let go of you and took a step back.

“Don’t,” you insisted sharply, your voice crackling on the singular word, “don’t. You don’t get to do that. I shouldn’t have done that. Not anymore. Never again.”

Before he could say anything, you dashed away from him, running back over to your house. This had to be some sort of weird dream, surely life couldn’t be throwing another challenge at you. Surely you’d been through enough.

Surely you weren’t neighbors, after all this time and years, with Frankie Morales.

Life couldn’t be that cruel...right?

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist: @secretsweetscollectionblog @sheridans-dynamos @rogerfxckingtaylor @queenbbarnes @persephonesnebula @spacedustmazzello @queenlover05 @ah-callie @blushingwueen @thisis-theway @el-lizzie @rosetophighlander @rae-gar-targaryen @hiscyarika @readsalot73 @huliabitch @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd @beepbeepsephy @gooddaykate @scarlettwitcher @nerdyknightwritersblog @choicesarcade @arrowswithwifi @everythingaboutnothingstuff @24kgolden @suckerfor-fanfics @bestintheparsec @pedrosdoll @winters-buck @javihoney @aeryntheofficial @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial @asgardianvamp21 @keithseabrook27 @karmezii @dearspacepirates @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou @shameless-pope @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @lv7867

Frankie Taglist: @misslolasworld @annathewitch @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @mrscrain-x7 @jaime1110 @lokiaddicted @prettylittlegoldfish @heythere-mel @mrsparknuts @mrpascals @agingerindenial @knittingqueen13 @wickedfrsgrl @rogueonestan @i-ship-it-ironically @lv7867 @heyitmelexie @lordmotherofcats @godohammers @stitchers-in-stitches @none-of-your-bullshit @ghostwiththemostbitch @computeringturtle

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #catfish morales #catfish morales x reader #francisco catfish morales #triple frontier #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

373 notes · View notes

squiggledrop · 4 years

Text

Your Other Half - Spencer x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Spencer and Reader are in love, but what does that mean and can it withstand the complications of time.

Word Count: 1.3k

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Allusions to Death (please let me know if there are more)

Note: I literally wrote this at 3 am last night, and I’m not really sure what it is, so, I’m sorry in advance.

Spencer wasn’t your other half, for that would imply you weren’t whole before him. And that simply wasn’t true. Could you have lived a full life had you never met him? Of course, you could have. Love isn’t about finding someone who can fill all the voids in your life. It isn’t about consuming yourself with one person to the extent that you are completely dependent on them. Each of you are your own respective person, with your respective thoughts and ideals. You do not complete each other, rather you complement the other. You are two completely different, intricate, confusing, difficult, messy people, but whole nonetheless.

You did not fall in love, for you knew that if you dove in headfirst, eventually, the ground would catch up, leaving you in pieces. Rather, you found yourself in love gradually, bit by bit over time. You welcomed love through every joke exchanged, over every cup of coffee shared, through every sleight of hand and stolen glance. You walked into love, choosing to hold hands along the way, each of you taking your respective steps, but having the other as a guide should you fall behind.

Spencer may not have been your other half, but he is your best friend. He is the person, in a crowd full of people, you can spot in an instant. He is the person you choose to tell all your stories and secrets to. He is the person you feel most comfortable sharing your problems with because you know he would do anything he could to help, even if that meant just quietly nodding as he let you rant. He was the person you knew would never judge you, and neither you him. He was not your other half, but he was the person you chose to wake up to every morning.

Sure, you could live without him. Your heart would still beat and your lungs would still expand with every tick of the clock. But, it would not do so without a sting in your chest and the longing thought of his smile ringing through your head. You could live without him, sure, but you chose not to. He may not have been your light in the darkness, but he did remind you to open the blinds. He may not be the reason you are alive, but he sure makes living a whole lot easier. You get up every morning, making the choice to love him fully and completely. To be completely transparent and vulnerable, for you know he would never break you. You could live without him, but that doesn’t stop you from trusting him with your life. He knew you in and out and accepted and loved every quirk and flaw because it made you undeniably you.

That’s not to say you are both blinded by love. You have enough respect and dignity to call the other out when they are falling astray. Love should not settle or accommodate. Love should support you and guide you. Love should challenge you and make you question everything you thought you knew. Love should make you want to be better and help you get there. But, no matter how hard it may try, love cannot make you better. That must come from within. You may be a whole person, but that does not mean you don’t have room to grow. Love is choosing to grow in tandem with another. Love is the catalyst used to facilitate your individual personal growth, no matter how many times you use it, it never fails to come back.

Some days will be harder than others. You may feel as if you are growing apart and that is okay. Love is a choice and may not last forever. You are two separate people, and love is a partnership. It takes work and commitment and communication. Yes, a plucked flower will still bloom if put in water, however, you take the fragility of its beauty for granted. You fail to see it’s beauty stems from its strength, that of which you so carelessly destroyed for a moment of lust. Had you left the flower in the garden, allowed its roots to expand, connecting itself with its surroundings, living and breathing, just as surely as the earth rotates each day, you would have seen its full potential. Had you left it to grow in the garden, you could have nurtured and protected it, always knowing it would be there for you to admire. Had you left it in the garden, it would not have withered away one day when you forgot to change the water, leaving it to rot in a murky crystal vase.

You and Spencer grew your love in a garden, it’s roots knowing no bounds, your love spreading throughout the ground. Your love was strong, able to withstand even the harshest of winds that tried to blow it down. Yes, some days were harder than others, but remember love is a choice. You and Spencer made that vow long ago, that no matter the challenge at hand, you would always choose to love the other, standing by their side, choosing to weather the storm together. You both knew you may not always make it out to the other side, but that is what love is. Love is choosing to always be there, no matter the risk involved. Better yet, love is choosing to be there in spite of the risk. Love is showing the world that you care so deeply and completely for the other that you value the partnership over your personal gains. Love is gladly taking a bullet for the other, which Spencer wholeheartedly did that night he shoved you out of the way.

Yes, you are your own person, and yes, Spencer is too. You know you can survive without him, but god you don’t want to. With every second that goes by, as impossible as it sounds, you feel another part of you wither away, him having taken it with him when he fell to the ground. You know you can survive without him, but what is surviving truly.

You don’t want to survive, not at the cost of living. Yes, surviving is breathing, being the one with a beating heart. But it is also wishing you were the one that wasn’t. Spencer made you feel alive. Yes, you were your own person, but without someone to live for, to share all your accomplishments and setbacks with, to hold when you’re scared and laugh with when happy, what is it worth really. What good is a flower, adorned with sturdy roots that have grown over time, stretching out across all walks of life, if the bitter wind of winter still comes to kill it regardless? Yes, you may have weathered countless storms together in the past, but none of that matters when the frigid, ubiquitous cold destroys everything in its path.

You may be your own person, with your own life, but when your love is no longer there, having been ripped out of your hands, please forgive me if it feels as though your heart has stopped beating too. Spencer may not have been your other half, but your heart beats for him. Yes with every tick of the clock your heart still thumps, but what do you do when the only thing in your life that was as constant as the day turning into the night was the man that used to fill the now-empty bed beside you. How do you continue to walk another day, when your hand, with no one to hold, now feels so cold. Yes, you are your own person, but what good is that when all you do is sit in the dark, too empty and hurt to bother opening the blinds. What good is that when every breath feels like your last. What good is that when the beautiful world you built together is now desolate and cold, and you are all alone, with no person to call home.

No, Spencer was not your other half. He was so much more than that.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #spencer x y/n #spencer x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #dr reid #spencer reid insert

165 notes · View notes

randomingoftherandomness · 3 years

Text

What I am hoping for from Winner is King ( 烽火流金)

Okay, so at this point, let’s just be reals here, Word of Honor has kinda set the bar for me in terms of standards to expect from the slew of danmei adaptations this year. Granted, I know that there are some who think the way it was adapted was not up to their standards and that it could have been done better, please don’t bring it on this post because this is not the post for it.

In this post, I’m going to talk about Winner is King (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

Now, Sha Po Lang, the original novel, is for me one of the best things that I have read in a very long while. As such, I can be rather precious about what I am hoping to see come alive on the show and what I am hoping will be present in the portrayals I see. I know there are some concerns regarding the script and behind the scenes stuff - and they are very valid concerns that I feel too! - and with the recent announcement that instead of 45 episodes, we are only getting 40, I can foresee that there could be some rushed handlings of the very plotty nature of the source material and perhaps a sense that style can trump substance.

But as the actual show isn’t beaming right into our eyeballs just yet, here are some things I am looking forward to seeing in Winner is King and some things that I am crossing my fingers will make the final cut!

Warning for some novel spoilers ahead. I’ll keep it under the read more.

Tagging @zhongwans because I said I would haha...

Things I am looking forward to:

The Changgu dynamic. I think it goes without saying that if the chemistry between your leads is a dud, the show doesn’t need to even pass Go, it can just shuffle itself off the board because it will be dead in the water. The Changgu dynamic has to be nailed; I need to see that self-doubt, that caring for the other but coming at it from the wrong way, that awkwardness that comes with trying to hold back the burden of your love and care because you don’t want to overwhelm the other...

I need Gu Yun to be shamelessly sweet with his words and his coaxing of his Yan Wang from a sulk. I need Changgu saying “I hate you to death, Gu Yun” (pining)

Hu Ge Er. Let me just be clear here, I will cheer when she dies, but I hope that how they handle her characterisation will do her justice. There is no excusing the level of horrible that she is, but I hope that she isn’t written as a single dimension abusive piece of shit. Nuance, is what I am looking for. I need her to be the villain and the reason for Chang Geng.

I. NEED. THE. WOLF. ATTACK. SCENE. OUTSIDE. OF. YANHUI. TOWN. aka The First Time They Meet

There is legit no excuse for them to fuck this up, but the Steampunk elements. I would not know what else to say if they fuck this one thing up that is so integral and basic to the love of this IP. They cannot fuck this up. I am very sure I will join people in rioting if they do.

I need to see my Red Kites, my Heavy and Light Armours, my Dragons... I need to see the steam powered lamps, the iron puppets... I need them to get the Wind Slashers right. I need them to get this world-building right ok? I need to be dropped into this show and just swoon over just how accurate to imagination everything looks. Tencent does have the blessed ability to make very good looking productions, so on this note, I am assured.

I need them to get the human element right; I need to understand why Gu Yun is the way he is, I need to know why the members of the Lin Yuan Pavillion will back Chang Geng and why they won’t. I need to know why Liao Chi would betray the Emperor. I need them to make me feel; I want them to make my heart hurt when Chang Geng’s heart is hurting, I want them to make me cry when Gu Yun is at his lowest and feels like he can’t go on. I want them to make me laugh, I want to feel for Shen Yi and Miss Chen’s awkward courting.

On that note, I hope they get the Shen Yi and Gu Yun dynamic right too! These two are bros ok? Life and death, ride or die, best bros forever and I need, need them to nail just how integral these are to each other and how much they chose each other as family. I need the bickering, I need the protectiveness, I need the banter.

I also need Chang Geng conspiring to marry Shen Yi off quickly so that he can have Gu Yun all to himself lol but lbr here if we can get an ending for this show from Tencent that even breathes the same atmosphere of air as satisfactory I will praise the heavens

The Bone of Impurity. I don’t know to what extent they will cover this or if they would do it the way the book does it, but this being an element that is integral to Chang Geng, I would be surprised if they dropped it entirely. So yeah, I am looking forward to seeing Chang Geng fretting and worrying and getting Bone of Impurity attacks.

Just the way that Gu Yun allows himself to be cared for my Chang Geng and how Chang Geng lets Gu Yun care for him

I want one acupuncture hedgehog scene please and thank you

I do want to see how they handle Chang Geng and his elder half-brother; how that dynamic unfolds will be something to pay some attention to, I think

Oh! That moment when Chang Geng kneels down in front of his brother and tells him to please bury any talk of his marriage and revealing to his brother the scars that he carries from his time living under Hu Ge Er’s roof (this is one brand of Whump that I promise you will hurt you very badly and it will be very good)

The argument at Jiangnan is something I really think will also make the final cut. It wouldn’t make sense to drop it seeing as this is a pivotal shift in their relationship where Chang Geng is finally holding his ground and not bending over backwards and believing everything his Yi Fu says. And this was the catalyst for their four year separation so yeah. I hope they do this justice.

I am not a betting person, but I high key bet that the scene between Gu Yun and the previous Emperor where he tells the man, “If you go, then I won’t have anyone left” and this being the moment that softens the dying fucker’s heart enough to give him a bracelet of beads that will be a major plot point towards the end

THE. BATTLE. SCENES.

Things I am hoping will happen:

At this point, speculation is that the point that tripped Winner Is King up for a recheck was the politics. This year is the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party in China and rumour has it that shit be sieving thick and so a lot of shows are erring on the side of caution.

Politics is the highest likelihood of a recheck but I am hoping that it won’t be dumbed down or watered down too much because the politics and the way things played out in the book was absolutely divine and I really want to see that court intrigue and scheming and interplay unfold.

I’ve mentioned in my most recent podcast episode that I am banking on this show to scratch my itch for a Nirvana in Fire level of plottiness and infinite craftiness of the characters and I am crossing all fingers and toes for that to happen because All! The! Characters! Hold! Their! Own! And I need to see that play out please I am not asking for much...

The final sea battle with the Pope. I wouldn’t even know where they would even begin to shoot that scene but this is something I would love to see happen.

The Bone of Impurity attack after Gu Yun sneakily left the capital. That was the scene that caught me and hooked, lined and sinkered me for Chang Geng as a character. Listening to this scene be brought to life in the audio drama has really hammered it home that if they make this bit into the show, I will watch and weep if it is done right.

Cao Niangzi being Cao Niangzi. I am thinking it might not happen the way I want, but I just need them to get them right.

Ge Chen peeing on the enemy’s face. Please. I laughed so hard. I need this. It will be a balm to my soul.

Please, I need Gu Yun’s soul crushing flute playing like I need Gong Jun to always be absolutely horrible at singing because baby this is your niche and this is your charm own it work it

I also need Gu Yun stealing a bamboo flute from a 10 year old because he got jealous please and thank you

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town

I want to see that moment that Gu Yun hears first hand from someone who had knowledge of what Hu Ge Er would do to a baby Chang Geng and the horrible abuse she inflicted on him, because up to that point, he only knew that something went on, but never to the extent that revelation wrought unto him

Any of the Bone of Impurity moments; any mention of it, any visual representation of it... Gosh, just the idea of having the Bone of Impurity made visual is just... Ugh. Yes. Please. The suffering.

[bonus] Things I wish will happen but will probably not:

The hot spring scene or a version of it

An implication that baby cannibalism was involved in the making of a Bone of Impurity

The scene where they get to the goddess doll (the description of it in the book was so bone chilling and if they do this I will have nightmares, I’m just warning you)

I really, really want a scene where, after being crowned Emperor, Chang Geng goes to the frontlines to reclaim the South and upon hearing that he was there, Gu Yun immediately panicked like he was about to be caught with his pants down doing something illegal when all he did was ordered his subordinates to keep news of his injuries from being reported back to the capital

Any flashback of Chang Geng and Hu Ge Er before Yanhui Town; especially when they were with the Barbarians

I want to see some version of Hu Ge Er realising what she has done to her own child and to Chang Geng

Okay this got super long but what are you guys looking forward to seeing when Winner is King hits our screens? I’m looking forward to creating content for this fandom when it hits ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑) In the meantime, sound off on what you’re expecting and what you’re maybe wary about!

#winner is king #feng huo liu jin #烽火流金 #gab to watch #changgu #chang geng #gu yun #tencent #cdrama #sha po lang #杀破狼

43 notes · View notes

kanonsarchivedblog · 3 years

Note

Hi! I don't know if you write for this ship, but I like angst a lot. "no, fuck you. I was worth it." for Sakura/Sasuke? If you don't, that's okay! Thanks!

[ Prompt List ] Happier Than Ever (Don't Try To Make Me Feel Bad)

For now.

But it had her wondering- had she ever truly known Sasuke? Or had she been foolishly in love with the idea of Sasuke Uchiha?

“No.” The answer is quick, harsh, his voice raised a few levels, almost a yell. “No, you have to stay here.”

“You have to stay.” He repeats, not looking at her. Instead, he stared at the wall. “You can’t survive out there. You’re not made to travel or to fight to that extent.”

“You haven’t changed.” She whispers, gaze trained on the top of her vanity desk. “I thought you would have.”

Wordlessly, Sasuke rose to his feet and snatched his shirt up. His movements were harsh, sudden- angry. “You wouldn’t understand,” he sighs out, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t make it.”

“Fuck you.” Sakura spat, turning on her heel as her emotions began to swell, a bitter, jagged feeling stabbing through her heart and settling in her throat, like bile threatening to spill out. “I would make it. I’d survive. I survived for three years without you or Naruto, did you know? I survived fighting Sasori head on and I saved Kankuro’s life. I survived.”

This wasn’t the soft Sakura he’d known- wasn’t even the Sakura who he’d held during the War.

“Get out of my house.” Jade gaze settles on the wall, not looking at Sasuke- refusing to look at him. “Get out of my house, Sasuke.”

“Sakura-”

“I was worth it.” She repeats as she stares at the photograph of Sasuke- with his team. His team- Karin, Suigetsu, Jugo. Jaw clenching, she took hold of it and marched to the kitchen.

The photograph of Team Taka fell slowly into the trash.

“I am worth it.”

#naruto imagines #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #mission board: prompt #m's nonny answers #(i'm not tagging this as a ship)#angst

16 notes · View notes

darling-i-read-it · 4 years

Text

Ko No Mono

2x11

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, dead bodies,, will being hot as fuck

Author’s Note: I’ve made my bed now i have to lie in it. I still haven’t actually seen your guys reaction to the last episode at the tiem of writing this so hopefully it blowed over okay lol. I love Will and Hannibal dudes.

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar

Official Episode Summary :Jack and his team discover the truth of Freddie Lounds' disappearance, Will tells Alana to arm herself; Mason suspects his sister intends to usurp him and Hannibal shows Will how much Abigail reminded him of his sister.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll @ericacactus @vlightning95

(not my gif)

You woke up slowly this time, a nightmare less sleep. Unfortunately you felt Will beside you and you could hear how loud he was breathing. You turned around and grabbed his arm to ground him. You waited for a minute as he caught his breath and then he laid back down on the pillow before wrapping his arms around you, his head resting on your chest.

You pet his hair and wordlessly, as though in tune, the two of you fell back asleep. Whatever dream he had was not worth talking about right now.

You sat beside Will. Will sat directly across from Hannibal as he dished up your food. It was an interesting one this time around, confusing. Everything Hannibal made confused you but you were used to it at this point.

“Among gourmands, the ortolan bunting is considered a rare-but-debauched delicacy. A rite of passage, if you will,” aHannibal said, sneaking a smile to both of you. “Preparation calls for the songbird to be drowned alive in Armagnac. It is then roasted and consumed whole in a single mouthful.”

“Ortolans are endangered,” Will stated.

“He’s right,” you said.

“Who amongst us is not?” Hannibal asked. You shook your head but you weren’t about to deny a Hannibal made dish.

“I have been gorged, drowned, plucked and roasted. Not yet,” Will said simply.

“Traditionally, during this meal, we’re to place shrouds over our heads, hiding our faces from God,” Hannibal said. “I don't hide from God.” You smiled a bit at his audacity. You picked up the bird and so did Will.

“Bones and all?” Will questioned.

“Bones and all.”

You and Will both ate it all in one bite. Your eyes locked with Hannibals as you did so. You swallowed after a moment.

“After my first ortolan, I was euphoric. A stimulating reminder of our power over life and death,” Hannibal said.

“I was euphoric when I killed Freddie Lounds,” you told him. Your mind wandered. Your hands around her neck. Will beside you.

“Did your heart race when you did it?”

“No,” Will said.

“Not a bit,” you retorted.

Hannibal smiled at the two of you. You were growing in his mind, evolving. This was his design and he was liking the way it was threaded.

You stood in the morgue, the charred body of Freddie Lounds in front of you.

“Freddie Lounds ultimate failure was her inability to keep herself out of her own stories,” Jack said.

You smiled.

“Freddie had the longing need to be noticed,” you stated.

“She was noticed,” Will finished.

You were fuming. Absolutely fuming. You were in the room with Hannibal, Will and Margot Verger. She sat in the chair across from Hannibal but you and Will were standing. You didn’t even have the heart to sit on the desk like you usually did you were so pissed.

“There’s no baby. Isn’t even an embryo yet. I’ve got hormones in my pee. That’s the extent of it. But here I am, feeling maternal,” Margot said.

“We’re discussing a small group of cells. Barely life, but immediately seen to be life-changing,” Hannibal said in his physiatrist voice. You had your arms crossed and despite the fact you were pissed, your face was in a careful poker face.

“I feel like everything that was done to me can almost be undone,” Margot said.

“Through children we can disrupt our own sense of the past. We can protect them in ways we weren’t,” Hannibal inquired. You were pissed at him too. You weren’t sure why but you were sure it would come up eventually.

“Life eventually bounces back Margot.”

“I could be good to a child. I’ll go to parenting classes,” she said like she was pleased with herself.

“You’ve conspired with your unborn child to liberate yourself and you’ve made Will and Y/N an unknowing accomplice,” Hannibal said.

“I got what I wanted from Will, but I didn’t understand what I was taking until the strip turned blue. Y/N was just a happy accident. I thought you were single, honestly and I’m not proud of myself,” she explained. You raised your finger to her and Will grabbed it before it slapped her in the face.

“Nor should you be. You said-” Will started.

“I lied,” she finished.

You felt like you were mourning something that you figured was yours. You stared at Margot and saw the mother of your boyfriend's baby. You had one night of slippage and here was the result. Margot Verger. The Vergers.

“You’re just as bad as your brother,” you hissed. “And did you know?” you asked Hannibal.

“I was aware of Margot’s goal of having a child. I was not aware of the means to achieve it.”

“What do you want from us?” Will asked. Still using ‘us’. It was after he said that he realized this could ruin any relationship he had with you. He didn’t even know if you wanted kids but someone else having his child was surely a dent. He looked over at you and you couldn’t even look at him. In fact, the only person you could look at was Hannibal.

“Little or nothing or as much as you’d like to give,” Margot said simply. You shook your head and left the room to your desk.

You sat there and shut the door behind you. You knew you shouldn’t be mad at Will. You did it together and it was a joint decision, granted it was not really talked about. A spur of the moment, completely calculated thing. You stared at your computer, the blank black screen that reflected you back at you.

Margot walked out and you stood up, refusing to show any emotion.

“I hope you’re pleased,” you said simply. Will left the office but you didn’t look at him.

“I’m sorry,” she said. You wanted to strangle the life out of her but instead you just walked past her and Hannibal to the office, shutting the door behind you. You walked over to the chair you promised yourself you would never sit at and you sat in it. Hannibal was still sitting at his chair.

You stared at each other.

“You swear to me you didn’t know,” you muttered.

“I did not know,” he said. “I had no idea you were bisexual.” You shook your head but you had bigger problems.

“It was a spur of the moment thing. Will and I had just…” you trailed off. “I was in the wrong headspace for her to have conniving plans.” You stared at Hannibal and stood up. “I don’t like those chairs,” you whispered. You walked over and finally sat on the desk. Hannibal got up.

“Has Will left?”

“He’s presumably waiting for me in the car.” You looked up at Will and tears pricked your eyes. “It’s not his fault,” you promised. Hannibal leaned against the desk beside you.

“But you believe that this will change things.” You whipped the few stray tears.

“Shouldn’t it? I mean come on, wouldn’t it be weird if I was having your child but you were with Alana?” Hannibal laughed dryly at the comparison. You took a deep breath. “I don't even know if I want kids but...that was supposed to be my kid,” you whispered. “Will and I were gonna have that family, the family that has now started between him and Margot Verger.”

Hannibal wiped your tears away with his thumb. He was now standing directly in front of you, looking down at you as you sat.

“Will loves you,” he promised. “And cares about you more than I would care about Alana in your analogy.” You nodded and he hugged you. You pressed your head against his chest.

“I just have to talk to him,” you whispered. He nodded.

“But your emotions are valid. Don’t forget that.” Hannibal pet your hair but he felt your emotions hitting a hard chord.

This wasn’t good.

The car ride home was interesting. Silence. Uncomfortable silence. That wasn’t something that you and Will were quite accustomed to. You got into the house and immediately locked yourself in the bathroom to catch your breath. You stared in the mirror and imagined how Will must be feeling.

Excitement to be a father? Going through things you were supposed to feel together one day?

You opened the door and Will sat on the bed. You walked over and sat beside him, looking at your hands.

“What does this mean?” you asked.

“If we have any more threesomes I should probably wear protection.”

“Good advice overall however I don't’ see many more threesomes in our future,” you whispered. He wasn’t sure what you meant by that. Did you mean just in general or that you wouldn’t be together at all?

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I should be asking you how you’re feeling, father to be,” you said, voice breaking. You hid your emotions as best you could.

“Y/N…”

“It was meant to be us,” you whispered. “The two of us. Not you and Margot Verger.” He nodded and looked over at you. “Do you want me here now that you’re having a kid with her?” The dreaded question.

“Of course I want you here,” he said quickly. “I’ll always want you here.” You looked over at him. “Do you want to be here?” You nodded even quicker.

“I do.”

He hugged you tightly and you wrapped your legs around his waist as you sat on the bed. You buried your face in his shoulder. The battle wasn’t over but at least you knew you had each other.

“After Abigail,” he whispered. “I dream about her. I dream about teaching her to fish,” he told you. You nodded. You felt maternal to Abigail as well.

“And Hannibal....” He nodded, pulling away from you a bit. “Robbed that from us.”

“Yeah. He did.”

Will grabbed your arm. He was sweating, it was even showing on your pajama shirt. There was a knock on the door that had woken him up from a nightmare.

“You okay?” you whispered. He nodded.

“Who is that?”

“If it’s Margot Verger again I’ll drown her in the sink.” Will got up and walked to the door as you grabbed him a robe. You could hear from the back room that it was Alana.

“I guess I’m trying to convince myself of something. Or maybe I’m trying to convince you. Or maybe I don't know why I’m here,” she said. You walked up to the door.

“I know why. You’re worried I killed Freddie Lounds.”

“Did you?” Alana asked. She looked at you and you looked at her. Your friendship had unfortunately dissolved over time. She seemed so pensive now.

“What do you think?” Will asked.

“I think that’s the wrong answer to tell somebody who is already wondering what you’re capable of,” Alana said. Will turned to you.

“Can you make us some coffee?”

“Two or three cups?”

“Two,” he said bluntly. You nodded and walked into the house but you could still be here.

“I know you’re lying to me. You’ve slipped into some kind of skin and I think it fits you a little too well,” she said.

“I told everyone Hannibal was a killer and no one believed me. Just like no one would believe you if you said I was a killer,” Will said and you smiled as you started to make coffee.

“I'm afraid, Will. But not of you. I'm afraid for you. I don't think Hannibal is good for you. I think your relationship is destructive.”

“Hannibal's good enough for you.” You almost clapped at that but you contend to pretend you weren’t listening.

“You should be afraid. You’re right to be afraid.”

Alana Bloom stood back at Freddie’s funeral. You were with Will but you wanted to talk to her first so you told him to wait back. You walked up to her and she let out a small sigh at your presence.

“I’m here to mourn Freddie Lounds. Can’t imagine it’s why you’re here,” she muttered.

“I’m here in support of my boyfriend. His psychiatrist recommended he come.” Alana looked over at you.

“They aren’t who you think they are. You may think that you know Hannibal Lecter but you don’t. I don’t think anyone does,” she said. Almost like a warning.

“Says the girl sleeping with him,” you whispered teasingly. “I know Hannibal better than you know him Alana. And I know Will better than that. You may think you’re right about every single thing Alana but I can assure you, you are not.” You whispered. She let out a huff. She can’t imagine herself being wrong.

She walked away.

You sat in the room with Will and Hannibal. You sat on the desk while they sat in the chairs, reminiscent of old times.

“I’ve been so preoccupied with taking a life, I’m having trouble wrapping my head around making one,” he muttered.

“You and Y/N have never discussed it?” You shrugged.

“Not often. We’ve always had other things on our minds,” you admitted. “Just that if it happened it was in the future.”

“When men become fathers, they undergo biochemical changes that affect the way they think,” Hannibal explained.

“You said the same thing happens when men become killers,” Will inquired.

“Fatherhood is not always a nurturing role. Fathers can be killers. In protecting a child, things trapped inside a man for years fly free, ready to explode in pain. And dangerous behavior. What sort of father would you be?” Hannibal questioned.

“He’d be a good father,” you said quietly, answering for him.

“How quickly we form attachments to something that does not yet exist,'' Hannibal whispered. You and Hannibal shared a look.

You stood beside Will at a crime scene. This one was not yours. This was Hannibals. Freddie Lounds was put into a religious figure.

“What connection do Freddie Lounds and Randall Tier have?” Jack asked.

“The Grahams. Randall Tier was their suspect and Hannibal’s patient,” Alana said. She looked to be having a tough time. “Freddie was investigating his murder when she died.

“Freddie was investigating a lot of things when she died,” Will said.

“This is a psychopath who has incubated fantasies of killing is translating them into action. He’s building himself up. Or somebody’s building him up,” Alana said. You and Will shared a look.

Jack Crawford would be showing Alana Bloom Freddie tonight. Freddies body, alive, completely and utterly alive. You and Will did not kill her. Alana was breaking and Jack would show her that you and Will were not the murderers she thought you were.

Technically.

“This is a courtship,” Alana whispered.

When you got word about Margot you were silent. You went with Will to the hospital silently.

You stared at Margot Verger, without a child now, silently.

Hannibal approached you and while Will immediately left you strayed for a moment. You looked over at him and you shared a look.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“I did nothing but suggest simple actions.” You nodded and grabbed his hand as you turned away. You held it for a moment. Then you followed Will.

Mason Verger watched his pigs. Will walked up to him and held him over the edge. You looked at him, waiting from behind. You had taken out the guard, per request. You didn’t want the child and you were relieved it was gone. That being said, you would likely back Will in anything he wanted to do.

“You think it was Margot’s idea to have an heir? Think it was your idea to take it from her? My idea to come here and kill you? What you, your sister and I all have in common is the same psychiatrist,” Will said. He brought Mason back to the ground and you raised a gun to his head.

“Aren’t you his secretary?” Mason questioned. “Oh you and baby daddy!” He paused. “Margot messed with the wrong throuple.”

“If Hannibal had his dithers, you’d be wrapped around a bullet,” you said. You put the gun down.

“He’s the one you should be feeding to your pigs,” Will finished.

2x12

#hannibal lecter x reader #will graham x reader #will graham imagines #hannibal lecter imagines #hannibal lecter x reader x will graham #will graham x reader x hannibal lecter #hannibal imagines

200 notes · View notes

missturtleduck · 4 years

Text

The Girls of Ba Sing Se - (Sokka x f!Reader) Pt. 13

Part Twelve│Part Fourteen

“We’re both warriors in our own right, and too good to be surrounded by stupid boys all the time.“

Crossing back over the Serpent’s Pass was easy. The heavy weight on her chest that pummelled her out of nowhere was infinitely hard.

Across the deep-water chasm, Y/N carried Suki, ignoring the strain on her calves and arms. Without the serpent or the extra people holding them back, the girls made their way over the Pass before night fell. The biting cold was not a problem either as Y/N kept a flame lit in her hand as the sun began to lower in the grey sky, enveloped by a cluster of clouds.

“I sent a message ahead of us,” Suki told her idly, adjusting her headband as they walked.

“Oh?”

The Warrior nodded. “The other Kyoshi Warriors will meet us back past the docks and into the wooded area westward.”

Nodding, Y/N focused on the ground beneath her feet. It was unchanging, dusty and sharp, as they began to exit the steepest climbs of the Pass, watching it plateau with little interest. If she could analyse the rocky path they were on, it would distract from the rocky terrain she and Sokka had metaphorically stumbled onto.

“Why did you invite me to come along with you, Suki?” Y/N said, her voice too loud in her ears after hours of endless silence.

Suki smiled at her. “Call it a hunch, but I think we’re like-minded people.”

“Because we’ve both had crushes on Sokka?”

“What?” She snorted, a massive grin now on her face. “No! What I had was a fleeting moment of ‘oh he’s cute’ and that was the end of that.”

“Oh,” Y/N said, flushing with embarrassment. “Well now I feel like an idiot.”

With a gentle nudge, Suki shook her head. “Don’t. We’re both warriors in our own right, and too good to be surrounded by stupid boys all the time.”

The joke summoned a low chuckle in Y/N’s throat, suddenly washing away the bashful feeling settling in her gut. Suki was easy to talk to, it seemed, but that ease with soon disappear. At the end of the journey, the she saw the other Kyoshi Warriors. They were in full garb, waiting.

She felt more out of place than ever. Frowning, Y/N smothered the fire with her shame. A furious grey stretched over the atmosphere, the colour of smoke. Inhaling a deep, controlled breath, she tried in desperation to replace the pressure in her chest with warmth, and for a moment she succeeded. The blossoming fire lily of energy spread, easing the tension in her muscles, her intense scowl softening.

“Warriors.” Suki announced their presence with all the nobility of a Fire Nation general. “This is Y/N. She will be travelling with us for a while.”

A murmur rippled through the group as easy and detrimental as an ocean tide. Y/N had no real experience with other girls her age. Sure, when she had been to visit her father in the Fire Nation Palace, Azula had been welcoming, so to speak. By welcoming, she meant more that the princess seemed to want to add her to a collection. She seemed to keep friends like butterflies, pinned to a board by their wings. This would also be ignoring the age gap between them; the same could even be said for Toph and Katara.

This was going to be strange.

“Yes, she is a firebender, but I would trust her if I had to put my life in her hands,” Suki said, voice turning sterner, more sincere, overcoming the collective whisper of doubt. “You didn’t see her risk her life for the sake of others. Y/N is fierce, and she will fit in with us for as long as she needs.”

With that, Suki had finished. Quelling the uncertainty with swift decisiveness, Y/N couldn’t help but admire the leadership she was displaying.

Tents set up and food gathered, all that was left to do was set up a campfire. Rather than letting one of the Warriors ache over sparking flame with rock, the firebender ignited her forefinger, pointing it at the pile of dry wood collected and arranged with the neat discipline of a trained fighter. Y/N ignored the yelps of the girls around her as the fire hit the wood with fierce accuracy. Under the intense heat, the wood began to crack, splintering and cracking as loud as thunder. As it settled, no longer spitting like a vicious pygmy puma, the girls wasted no time lifting a cooking pot over the campfire.

“No meat in the soup tonight.” A gruff voice said, startling Y/N. “Is that okay with you, firebender?”

She looked at the owner of such a low voice; a tall, leggy girl was stirring different nuts into a broth, stoking the flames every now and then to keep it boiling. Other than a single braid that was slung over her shoulder, her head was completely shaved.

“I don’t mind,” Y/N smiled, swallowing her nerves. “When you travel with a monk, you get used to a vegetarian lifestyle.”

The Warrior looked at her with some curiosity as she continued crushing the shells off of the main ingredients for their meal. “Huh. The Avatar, I’m guessing. What’s he like?”

“Sweet,” Was the first word that blurted out of her mouth. “Young. Fiercely devoted.”

“Glad to know our saviour is sweet.”

“Hey, I also said devoted!”

The two girls stared at each other before bursting out with laughter. They sat there for a few silent moments. Y/N tamed the flames down to a simmering heat as her acquaintance stirred in some green herbs. It smelled divine, summoning images of pine, hiking in the rain, and home. Home was the strongest memory dredged up by the broth.

“I heard,” The girl said, a teasing smile playing on her pretty lips, “That you’re really here because you got into an argument with a boy.”

Perhaps if any of the other girls there had teased like that, Y/N would’ve lost her temper, but this one seemed kind. “You could say that we had a conflict of interests.”

“Those interests being fire and water?” She continued to joke, nudging Y/N’s shoulder. “I’m glad to know I’ll never have these problems with boys.”

Y/N furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t like boys,” The girl shrugged with an easy grin. “Girls, however...”

“Wait, that’s an option?”

Now looking as confused as each other, they were interrupted by another Kyoshi Warrior. This girl had her face bare of paint, her entire body beaming with pure light. Wrapping her arms around the girl at the pot, she planted a kiss on her cheek before looking up to see Y/N, who sat shocked.

“Li, are you already bullying this poor girl?” The cheery one frowned – as much as she could looking like sunshine personified.

“Of course not, Yu,” Li said, clasping her free hand over Yu’s. “I’m just enlightening her to the many possibilities that being in the Kyoshi Warriors has granted me.”

This was a revelation to Y/N. It was her great grandfather who had spearheaded the criminalisation of ‘abnormal’ relationships, so she had never witnessed such explicit affection between two girls. It made sense though, why she never recognised her admiration of fellow women as anything more than friendship after a certain age. In fact, watching Li and Yu be so tender together reminded Y/N of an array of people she had considered close friends, those she would stare at a few seconds too long.

There had been a guard in Ozai’s palace with whom Y/N often walked the gardens when she would visit many years ago. Yes, she had been very young, but she remembered this woman with such intensity; she had these glittering gold eyes, as if someone had caught the sun in manacles and poured its blessing into her. She remembered, Princess Y/N, besotted with this woman and announcing to her that one day she would marry her. She startled at how panicked she had turned, and became sad when she never saw her again.

Even after her, there had been others she had admired; Jin who lived near her mother, Suki to some extent, and she was now realising how she had completely melted in front of Li.

But then there was Jìngyi and Sokka. Where did they fit?

“Sweetness,” Yu whispered to Li, “I think you broke the poor thing.”

“Hey, firebender,” Li said, brushing her companion off, “First bowl of soup fresh just for you.”

Numb, she took the bowl with a nod. “You can call me Y/N.”

That scent was back again as the pleasant nutty broth exuded heat. Swirling up in tendrils of steam, Y/N caught those glimpses of home again, but they were even stronger now – perhaps more melancholy and informed. But who was it she was seeing? Where was home?

Sipping a spoonful, her entire body warmed up in a way that could only be comforting. It was like the embrace of a fireplace after being caught in the rain. Spirits, it was good. It was definitely better than anything her and Katara had managed to cook up from the wilds. Watching her new acquaintances, Y/N realised their bond was forged in something other than affection; it seemed that Li was the cook and Yu the forager. Love, it seemed, could flourish somewhere that no one would ever expect it.

“This is lovely, thank you,” Y/N said with the utmost sincerity, bowing her head lowly.

Usually, she was all about etiquette, but the flavour and the sad pit in her stomach made her desperate to wolf the meal down. So many words to describe one bowl - splendid, delicious, homely – but Y/N could find none to describe how she was feeling.

“Tomorrow,” Li cut in past Y/N’s thoughts, “Yu and I, that being my Yu, will help you get ready for the journey ahead.”

Y/N allowed a small giggle to pass her lips at Li’s bad joke. “What do you mean?”

“If you’re travelling with the Kyoshi Warriors, you have to look like one!” Yu laughed, tapping her foot against Y/N’s knee as she took a seat opposite her.

“What, with the–” YN gestured to her face, mimicking the swipe of a brush over her eyes and lips.

“Yes!” Yu said, excited, “And with you uniform as well.”

“Is that okay?”

All three of the girls looked up behind Y/N’s shoulder to see a now bare faced Suki. Her red hair was tied back haphazardly in a pony tail, wisps of hair falling either side of her face. Out of any uniform whatsoever and in some comfy looking sleep clothes, she looked more relaxed.

Suki wasn’t looking at the other girls though. Suki was looking at Y/N.

“Oh!” Y/N flushed, sheepish. “Yeah, that would be great! Thank you for allowing me to travel with you.”

“Not at all,” She brushed off, taking a seat next to her on the ground, sandwiching her between her and Li. “Soup is going down a treat, girls. I’m sure we’ll all be sleeping warm in our sleeping bags tonight.”

A sleeping bag.

Oh no.

“Where am I sleeping, Suki?” Y/N asked, placing an empty bowl down on the ground – though it was refilled pretty quickly. “I mean, I don’t have problems with staying warm usually, so it’s fine if I don’t have a sleeping bag, but– “

“Y/N,” Suki interrupted, “You can have my sleeping mat and just lie between two of us just in case the winds pick up.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Crisis averted, Y/N thought as she dug through another bowl of soup. But what kind of crisis, she had to wonder. Crisis or not, she had no trouble getting to sleep under an ocean of stars, laid between Suki and Li. She felt comfortable – content, even – which was new. Perhaps she wouldn’t have too much trouble travelling with the Kyoshi Warriors after all.

And she’d hardly thought about Sokka all evening.

TAGLIST: @lunariasilver @maragreene @bestyearsof5sos @korra-rail-me @moistpotatobear @sporadicalalmondcookie @jaayypasta @animeboysimppp

#atla #sokka x reader #suki #kyoshi warriors #sokka #aang #katara #toph #angst #bi!reader #f!reader #the girls of ba sing se #missturtleduck

73 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Text

YYH Recaps: Koenma Appears

Welcome to episode two, everyone! Before we get to the recap proper, I want to continue down Nostalgia Lane for a moment. Remember how last time I mentioned a Hiei bookmark I used daily back in middle school? Well, I tore through an old "treasure box" I created as a kid (a collection containing everything from a shark tooth to a small book on witchcraft. You know, the important things every child needs) hoping to find it... but I didn't. It's a hard life we lead.

However, I did find some other YYH relics that I thought you all might enjoy seeing. Behold — and, if you'd like, laugh at — my collection:

First up is a picture of young Toguro and Genkai that I wanted to use as my bookmark, but found that it was too wide. For the record, I didn't (and still don't) care about Toguro much, he was just the byproduct of finding a cool Genkai picture. Not shown is the back of the image with the names of my classmates because I made them all sign this along with our yearbook.

God bless my friends for putting up with me.

Second is a collection of very pretty trading cards that I ordered from god only knows where. I have vague memories of not finding any at my local comics shop and convincing my mom to let me order on The Olde Internet. Did I want the trading cards to trade them? Absolutely not. They exist to sparkle and make my heart happy.

Finally, I've saved what is perhaps the best for last. Now, you have to understand that grade to middle school age Clyde did not have the education that she would receive later on, which includes a knowledge of the ephemeral nature of fanworks and the importance of accurate record keeping. What this means is that I have absolutely no context for this. No author, no explanation... just the image itself.

Was this a standalone fanart? A part of a fic? Some specific request or just the will of the artist? I cannot answer these questions. I tried a reverse image search (which is, admittedly, the extent of my tech skills) and you know what the single hit I got was? "Fiction." Thanks, google. So yeah, I can only assume that my child self considered Kurama giving a de-aged Hiei a bubble bath adorable enough to save, but the artist wasn't important enough to jot down for future viewing. Sorry about that, mystery artist. And, as should go without saying, if anyone does know where this came from please let me know! Though I suspect that this is a case of a YYH-specific site closing down and the fanworks getting lost along with it. That happened a great deal before the age of AO3 when volunteers decided to put their time and talent towards saving fanworks of all sorts...

But enough of all that. Let's get to recapping!

As we established last episode, Yusuke and Botan are on their way to the spirit world to kickstart Yusuke's ordeal. Watching this after over a decade of consuming other media, I really appreciate that Yusuke acts like a human person and asks lots of questions about this. When Botan is cryptic for the sake of the audience — we're going to see "the person" who can explain everything — Yusuke is justifiably like, and what person would that be?? I mean, this is also a way to establish basic facts for the viewer and it simultaneously feeds into Yusuke being someone who is difficult for the sake of being difficult — "If someone wants to say something, they should come to me!" — but it's just nice to see a character who doesn't accept cryptic BS because the story needs them to. If Botan gives an unclear, but ~dramatic~ explanation, Yusuke is going to call her out on that.

So she explains that they're going to see King Yama and Yusuke is all whoa whoa whoa, there's royalty involved? Suddenly, he's not so adamant that they come to him.

Botan tries to reinforce this rare spark of humility and demands that Yusuke be on his best behavior from here on out.

Pff. Yeah right.

But “he can send you to oblivion forever if he wants to!” is a suitable enough threat to cow Yusuke for now. Which is interesting considering that a few hours ago he was happy to accept hell as his rightful ending. Granted, we could argue that there's a big difference between hell and oblivion — a character may not be afraid of punishment in the same way they are a lack of existence — but I'd say this ties more into Yusuke's development at the wake. Now that he's accepted that people care for him and that he should strive to return to them, the threat of having it snatched away actually means something. Even if that line is otherwise positioned as a comedic moment.

Botan flies them through a portal where we see the River Styx below and Yusuke comments on how big everything is. At first I was like, "What are you talking about? You were just flying over some major city in fictional Japan, wasn't that big too?" but this line makes more sense when they reach the palace and you realize that yeah, it's big. As in, the camera blurs while tilting down its length to show how insanely tall it is. Yusuke and Botan are tiny gnats at the gate's entrance.

"Oh man, what a pad!" Yusuke says and sure, that's one way to look at it lol.

Botan announces that she has a "new arrival" and the gates open for them, but so far there's no one else around. One part of me wants to question the time and budget put into this scene because shouldn't there be, like, thousands of people? Even just waiting outside? The idea that this is the hub of the underworld and that Botan is responsible for ferrying all the souls, yet she is guiding just this one (1) dude for a solid day is, from a world building perspective, kind of nuts. But beyond the need to develop Botan as a character (she can't be a part of the story if her job is treated realistically, with all the endless work that entails), I think this choice functions rather well from an atmospheric perspective too. Meaning, this moment is supposed to be rather tense for Yusuke. He just died, just found out the afterlife exists, just discovered a desire to get his life back, and is now about to meet a King who can toss him into oblivion if he's rude — which Yusuke always is. So this is a Very Dangerous Moment and their relative isolation feeds into that. As does the setting. Yusuke flinches back from the hallway, saying that it looks like a giant throat, so he is now literally walking into the belly of the beast.

Suddenly, the size of the palace isn't an indicator of awesome wealth, just general intimidation. Also, check out the spikey purple mountains in the background and the harsh reds of the scene, especially compared to the soft yellow of the river. All of it is designed to create an, "Oh shit" reaction in both Yusuke and the audience.

Yusuke's image of King Yama matches these surroundings:

Oh wait! Wrong character ;)

He's massive, red, shadowed, and poses a formidable threat. And how does Yusuke deal with threats? By fighting them! Even those he can't hope to beat. Remember, this isn't a situation where Yusuke has any power here, but he still desperately holds onto the possibility that he might. What if he gets off a punch on King Yama's nose? Then goes for his eyes? Yeah, that'll work!

Overlooking the fact that it absolutely would not — Yusuke's fantasy conveniently skips how he escapes Yama's clutches — what exactly is Yusuke hoping to accomplish here? Somehow take over the entire underworld? Escape as a ghost and live out his afterlife in hiding? We don't know and that's because Yusuke doesn't know. He doesn't think ahead, he just obeys this instinct to fight. An instinct that, crucially, overrides everything else. Botan has already told him that all Yusuke needs to do is be polite and everything will be fine, but it's not even that Yusuke believes that he can't achieve that; that he knows himself too well and, fearing a slip, starts planning for a potentially inevitable confrontation. There are simply no plans outside of battle plans. Yusuke just hears about someone vaguely intimidating and his brain jumps straight to, "How do I beat him in a fight?" no matter the odds, or that other options are readily available to him. Again, much of YYH's characterization occurs though its comedy, so outside of the general humor of witnessing this fantasy, it actually does a stellar job of reinforcing precisely who Yusuke is. In life the only thing he had going for him was his ability to fight. It was his one joy, his one skill, arguably the one good thing he did if we frame those reflexes as "saving" the kid... so is it any wonder that fighting dominates his every thought? It's all he knows.

And, as we'll see down the line, that single-minded obsession is very useful to the spirit world.

For now though, Yusuke finishes his absurd plans to take down King Yama and Botan asks what in the world he's muttering about back there. Which is an unintentionally hilarious line because by the end Yusuke is not muttering, but full on shouting. Botan. How did you not hear him?

Not important. They reach the next door and we get our first inkling that all is not as Yusuke (and we) expect when Botan leans into an intercom to say that they've arrived. Tech in a fantasy spirit world? This feels not only out of place, but rather... mundane? That's the point. When the doors open Yusuke expects his super scary monster, but gets... a whole lot of monsters that aren't scary at all!

The underworld is run by various demons (or ogres), though their looks are contrasted with the harried office worker personalities they've got going on. Someone is running by with a comically tall stack of papers. Someone else is shouting into a cell phone. The first two demons we see cross paths, looking like they're about to punch one another, just as Yusuke expects... except they're just dramatically getting out of the other's way, worried not about the hierarchy of this realm, but the fact that someone is behind schedule. The nerve!

"This place is a madhouse!" we hear somehow shout and yeah, that's the joke. The afterlife is just as chaotic, overworked, and — ultimately — boring as any human office. For all the strangeness of seeing hundreds of demons, this is familiar.

Which, alongside Botan's bubbly nature contrasting assumptions about the Grim Reaper, is one of the first instances of YYH undercutting the viewer's expectations in terms of looks. No one entirely looks the part they play in this tale and if you're trying to teach people to look past surface characteristics... there are worse ways to do it. Horrifying creatures with horns and sharp teeth? Nah, they're just chill dudes trying to do their job. Cutesy girl who looks like she belongs in a mall reading magazines? Nah, she's the Grim Reaper. Terrifying delinquent with a spine-chilling reputation? Nah, he makes faces at kids and saves them from cars.

Of course, the "nah" isn't accurate either. These are monsters with horns, Botan is a cutesy girl, and Yusuke is a delinquent with that reputation. The message isn't so much that people look like Thing A, but get to know them and you'll discover they're actually Thing B, it's the idea that you can be A and B (and C, D, E...) simultaneously. People — or rather, seemingly simple archetypes — can, in fact, embody multiple characteristics at once.

We'll get our third example in just a second.

Yusuke makes a comment about this being the "dead people stock exchange" — accurate — and Botan leads him to a more ornate door past all the desks. It's clear they've arrived at King Yama's office, since she's bowing and formally presenting him to... someone. Yusuke looks around for the giant beast he's imagined, only for a tiny voice to hail him from the ground.

Looks are deceiving!

“This is Yusuke Urameshi and he’s honored to meet you." Botan knows what's up. She knows Yusuke isn't going to express anything of the sort without some prompting. Too bad he's busy cracking up at this apparent child running the show. Side note: Yusuke has a fantastic laugh.

He even goes so far as to accuse Botan of lying to him.

“Why would I lie about such a thing?!”

“Why would the spirit world be run by a toddler?”

It's true! That’s a legitimate question! I love that Yusuke asks questions. The "toddler" goes on to explain that he's actually the "mighty Koenma," son of King Yama, though he's lived fifty times as long as Yusuke, "so watch your mouth." Assuming Koenma knows and/or remembers how old Yusuke is — fourteen — and is good at math, that puts him at seven hundred years old. He looks good for his age!

"And in addition to knowing the secrets of the universe," he says, "I am quite potty trained."

You've gotta love Koenma.

Yusuke's attitude changes drastically once they get down to business. Koenma produces an egg, saying that Yusuke's ordeal is to hatch it and face what comes out. The hatching part isn't difficult, all he needs to do is keep it on his person. The challenge is in the fact that this egg will feed off his spirit energy and that energy in turn will change what kind of creature develops. If his spirit is wicked and cruel, so will be the beast and it will devour Yusuke upon hatching.

However, if his spirit is good and kind, the beast will become a sort of guardian, guiding him back to his living body.

Note though that throughout this conversation the egg is always a "beast." It's a "monster." It's not necessarily intentional, but there's a strong bend towards the negative here in the description that really emphasizes the whole "ordeal" aspect. Koenma briefly reassures Yusuke that he can remain a ghost if he prefers, but he's already made up his mind. Despite another threat of being lost to a void — this time through spiritual digestion — Yusuke takes the egg almost without hesitation.

He regrets it later though.

"I can't believe I did that."

Can we blame him? I'd be nervous about some egg feeding off the energy of my soul too and I'm a former, almost straight A student (damn you, math) with no life-altering regrets and a general desire to put as much good into this world as I'm able. I’m boring. But what if those occasional, mean little thoughts you have add up? What if the prejudices you're still unlearning stack against you? Does the egg care about what you do, or only how you feel about the act? This sort of test would eat me alive!

Maybe literally.

Good thing Yusuke doesn't have time for an existential crisis!

Just as he's beginning to regret this decision, Botan points out that it won't matter if he passes if he doesn't have a body to return to. Now, why wouldn't he have a body? Maybe because his mom is set to cremate him tomorrow.

Whoopsie.

Yusuke is, understandably, distraught. We get another excellent exchange:

“Botan, is there any way for ghosts to communicate with living people?”

“Yes.”

“SO ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME?”

I swear, Yusuke is the only smart protagonist. I mean, he's dumb as a sack of bricks at times, but that's neither here nor there. Bless this fictional boy for reacting like an actual person.

Botan explains that people are more attuned to the spirit world when they're asleep, so Yusuke can deliver a message to someone in their dreams. Seems easy enough. They first head to Atsuko, but find that she's raging drunk and nowhere near sleep.

"You fool!" she yells. "No one gave you permission to die!" Atsuko continues to yell about how plenty of people survive car accidents, so why couldn't you? "Were you mad at me, Yusuke? Didn't I raise you right?"

Botan comments on how sad the display is. Yusuke's response?

“The only thing that’s sad is now she’s got one more excuse to act that way."

Y'all, that's some mature shit for a goofy shonen anime. Yeah, Yusuke recognizes that, while she's obviously heartbroken, his death has just given her another reason to do what she's been doing for years: drinking herself into a stupor. Toss in Atsuko putting the blame on Yusuke — "No one gave you permission to die!" — plus the belief that she did do a good job — "Didn't I raise you right?" — and it paints a rather bleak picture. This is by no means an uncommon theme. Negligent parents, whether they're framed that way or not, are pretty common in shonen series, but it's still rather jarring to re-watch this as an adult and go, "Oh. The situation’s like that." It's honestly a lot when you remove it from YYH's otherwise humorous, casual context.

Yusuke heads to Keiko's next and finds her sound asleep, commenting on how her room looks more "girly" than when they were kids. Check out that smile!

He's about to try and deliver his message, but Keiko is in the midst of a nightmare. “She’s crying… what’s wrong?”

Oh my god. Remember how I just said Yusuke is also the densest protagonist around? Example A right here. You just died, you fool! You just saw Keiko collapse at your funeral. What do you think is wrong??

We get a peek at Keiko's dream where she is — shockingly! — thinking of Yusuke. He's far out of reach, walking away and unresponsive to her calls. Keiko soon trips and Yusuke disappears completely.

Luckily, she has the real thing at her bedside. Yusuke tries talking to her and at first it's unclear if this supernatural stuff is really working. That is, until Keiko murmurs about how heavy he is.

Reassured, Yusuke delivers his message that Keiko needs to help Atsuko pull herself together and, most importantly, call off burning his body. We get this very soft and pretty background to establish their yet unspoken feelings for one another, though Yusuke gets close with, “I’m coming back. I don’t want to see you cry anymore" as he brushes her tears away. Aww.

Keiko wakes, thinking at first it was just a dream, but no, "I'm sure I felt it."

The next morning she heads to Atsuko's to explain the dream, only to first hear that Atsuko had a dream too, this one about Yusuke "living in some other world full of ogres and he kept knocking them down until he became their leader." It sounds absurd, of course, but it brings Atsuko some comfort to think of her boy in a place like that and Keiko backs down. Right, she'd only had a comforting dream too.

Now, there are two important parts to this exchange. The first is that this is an excellent example of how you let the characters drive the story, rather than forcing the characters adhere to the plot you've come up with. Meaning, in the latter situation, our cast would have needed to have their personalities twisted and the viewer's suspicion of disbelief tested to give Yusuke what he needs: a sleeping family member willing to believe his message. But it absolutely makes sense for Atsuko to be drunk rather than sound asleep, so Yusuke can't rely on her. Likewise, it absolutely makes sense for Keiko to be asleep, but not believe the dream once she's woken up. After all, how many times have we been persuaded by something in the dead of night only for things to look more logical and less likely in the morning? The characters act both like themselves and like people who do normal, people-ish things, which means that Yusuke runs into more conflicts. That's good! It not only raises the tension and stakes — now he has less than a day to convince someone — but makes his inevitable success feel that much sweeter. A less well written show (cough-RWBY-cough) would have had the characters change their personalities, behave in unlikely ways, or just come up with a sudden, contradictory solution because Yusuke needs to keep his body. Instead, Yusuke actually has to work for that within the bounds of the rules established and the likeliness of each plan succeeding. The first one fails? Move onto plan #2.

Second, this dream of Atsuko's has some cool implications within YYH's world. Meaning, we're about to learn in just a moment that some people are naturally more aware of the supernatural than others, even when they're not asleep. We'll also see down the line that spiritual awareness tends to run in families... so perhaps Atsuko possesses more than the average mother? I'm not saying it's necessarily intentional on the author(s) part, but we can choose to read this dream as evidence of spiritual awareness — true insight into the world Yusuke was just in and the fantasies he'd had about conquering it — rather than just a coincidental joke for the viewer. After all, Yusuke gets his own spiritual awareness from somewhere...

(Okay, so there's totally another, canonical reason for that, but we can have both!)

So, as Yusuke puts it, “This dream business isn’t gonna cut it.”

“There’s always the final method," Botan says.

“You always this vague?”

I am literally living for these interactions.

Botan explains that the more extreme form of communication is possessing a living person, but there are two rules attached: it has to be someone you know and the vessel has to be someone who is quite spiritually aware, as discussed above. Atsuko isn't a contender because the story hasn't acknowledged that she might be sensitive, that's just my own headcanon now. Yusuke outright says, “In that case I’m screwed. There’s no one like that!"

Cut to good old Kuwabara.

At first it looks as if he's just oh so conveniently sensing a spirit right when the audience has learned he has this power, but in reality it's Yusuke and Botan flying behind him that sets it off. Again: this show is pretty good about keeping things internally consistent, rather than making choices because That's Just How Stories Work, I Guess. Kuwabara's friends note that he's acting strangely and I love this detail that apparently one of the guys is new to their group because the other two need to explain that this is the "tickle feeling." Ever since Kuwabara was a boy he's been able to sense the dead around him. Some nice, some... not so nice.

He looks directly at Yusuke — even though he's not able to see him — and declares that what's following them is “A puny low-level ghost, like a haunted racoon or something.”

I'd support Yusuke's anger more if he hadn't just exclaimed his surprise that Kuwabara serves a purpose 😂

Yusuke is pissed enough though to proclaim that he won't do it, nuh-uh, no way is he possessing this guy's body. Botan's response is one of my FAVORITES in the WHOLE SERIES:

"Here's my impression of Yusuke: look at me, I’m burning!”

Literally 75% of this series is just about a found family sassing one another and I love it.

Obviously this helps Yusuke remember his priorities and he grudgingly agrees to the plan. Botan prepares Kuwabara's body somehow — idk, spiritual magic or whatever — and warns Yusuke that he only has an hour to find someone and warn them because a human body can't handle possession any longer than that. Sure. I buy it.

So Yusuke takes control and please ignore the incredible ethical issues here. The show will never acknowledge them again.

He blurts out, “Hey, check it out! I’m inside Kuwabara, feeling smooth!"

Istg I don't remember the series being this unintentionally gay. I don't even ship Yusuke/Kuwabara and I'm digging the possibilities here lol.

Back on track, his friends drag him with, “Looks like he’s back to normal” because again, 75%. What's not normal though is Kuwabara (Yusuke) suddenly charging down the street to leave them behind. He heads straight to the restaurant where Keiko's parents work, demanding to see her. They're rightly concerned about this stranger barging in and screaming for their daughter.

Upon asking who he is/why they should tell him, Yusuke makes his biggest mistake: “Because it’s me, you guys, I’m Yusuke!”

Obviously the time limit and raw emotion of knowing who he is has outweighed the knowledge that, you know, no one would believe that. Yusuke has spent the last two days bopping around as a ghost and familiarizing himself with some of the afterlife's insanity. The knowledge of what's normal for everyone else — AKA, not dead boys appearing in strangers' bodies — is not at the forefront of Yusuke's mind.

So, Keiko's parents react accordingly! The father in particular is disgusted by this claim, going so far as to threaten Yusuke with his knife and outright insult Kuwabara's looks: “Yusuke was never ugly like you… we were close family friends with that boy!" His wife chimes in that this kind of joke is particularly heinous on the day of his funeral. Between Atsuko drunkenly blaming Yusuke for his death and Mr. Takenaka grieving for what he might have been, this is one of the few times we see someone just sad for Yusuke's passing, exactly as he was and without regrets or criticism. "We were close family friends with that boy" paints a nice contrast to the delinquent persona Yusuke was cultivating.

As he's thrown out of the restaurant he says, “We should have special passwords for times like this!” Fun fact, my family does! Well, not this exact situation lol. I was given a password as a child to memorize in case my parents ever needed to send someone else to pick me up or interact with me in any way. If the stranger didn't know the password, I was to kick up a fuss. I rest easy with the knowledge that this password would not doubt assist me if I was ever in Yusuke's position!

With Keiko's parents a bust, Yusuke starts sprinting to everywhere she frequents with the hope of running into her. Or at least he tries.

Yusuke is suddenly waylaid by a group of nameless teens with a bone to pick with Kuwabara. And you know what? I like it. I wonder how much of my praise stems from coming off of RWBY Volume 8, but it's just so nice to watch a story where the plot — simple as it is — hangs together. We've established that Kuwabara is a street fighter. Last episode we watched him start a fight with Yusuke. Yusuke is on a time limit. Now Kuwabara's tendencies have created a new hurdle for Yusuke!

Needless to say, Yusuke kicks butt, even in Kuwabara’s body.

As one guy is passing out he says, “Man that hurt! I didn’t think anyone could throw punches that hardcore except Yusuke Urameshi."

Yusuke: “Darn, giving Kuwabara a good name." LOL

You think this challenge is finished though? Nah. Over the course of about half an hour Yusuke encounters a comical number of people trying to get even with Kuwabara.

As always, I like the nods towards this writing decision to help justify it, with Yusuke wondering how Kuwabara has pissed this many people off. If you want to pull off something that has a low chance of happening, it can help to give the characters a "Seriously?" moment. If both they and the audience are on the same page over how ridiculous this situation is, the audience is more likely to accept it once the character does.

By the time Yusuke escapes his hour is nearly up. However, thanks to some coincidental plotting, he spots Keiko's friends just across the street!

YYH does a decent job of making its characters feel like they have their own lives outside of what's immediately happening on screen and we get a good example of that here. We pick up the girls' conversation partway through, both of them worried about Keiko's state of mind and, given that we'll see in a second that Keiko was in the store with them, it implies that something happened to reignite this worry. They're off enjoying their day, doing their own thing, there was an event we're not privy to, and now we catch the response to that. It just helps make the characters feel more well-rounded even though they are, at their core, one-dimensional background characters who don’t even have names yet.

Case in point: the one girl is still concerned with their image. "People are starting to say things!"

Yeah, your friend's childhood friend just died. Hopefully they're saying, "Poor thing."

Anyway, Yusuke runs up to ask where Keiko is only for both girls to run away screaming. Turns out his face is messed up from the numerous fights and Keiko's friends are easily scared.

Luckily, Keiko comes out just a second later and Yusuke is faced with the challenge of how to convince her in, oh, about five minutes. Remember, we've already established through Keiko's parents that just saying, "I'm Yusuke" doesn't work. That's why he hesitates. It's not just drama for the sake of drama, he's stuck.

“I’ve known her my whole life, there must be something between us that only I would do!”

Yeeeeaah. About that 😬

Suddenly inspired (I suppose that's one way to put it...) Yusuke runs up behind Keiko and grabs her breasts. “Keiko, nice uniform! They’re so squishy!”

It goes without saying that, like flipping her skirt up, this isn't okay. More specifically, the problem lies in the story framing this as a joke for the audience, something to laugh at despite Keiko's discomfort, rather than the concept of two childhood friends actually be that comfortable with one another. But, as already established, this is one of the more ehhhh aspects of Yusuke's characterization that, luckily, will mostly disappear as the story goes on.

Note though that the show clearly wants us to think highly of this. Not just as a "joke," but as a smart solution to his problem and more evidence of their inevitable relationship — the background becomes the same soft, bubbly background we saw during their dream conversation. And, admittedly, it does work. Keiko instinctively slaps Yusuke hard enough to knock him to the ground and he starts laughing, saying that he doesn't care what anyone on the street says, she hits the hardest.

What I do like about this is that the assault isn't the only thing Keiko bases her faith on. Not only has she already had the dream, we get to see Yusuke from her perspective, showing all the mannerisms she picks up on by superimposing Yusuke's real body over Kuwabara's. Indeed, she says as much: “I knew it was you from the first time you spoke…and it’s not just your stupid gags, or how you laugh. There are ways you move and speak that in a hundred years I wouldn’t forget."

Catch me crying in this club!

Knowing she believes him and that he's almost out of time, Yusuke reiterates his message: please don't burn my body and also keep Mom on track. Only, you know, it's phrased far better than that lol. As he speaks, both Yusuke's and Kuwabara's voices overlap until the latter grows fainter and only Yusuke's voice remains. His body too. It's a nice touch, avoiding the awkwardness of Keiko having this moment with a stranger, even if that is what's happening on some level.

“I know I’ve been a bum to you at times, but please wait for me."

His hour up, now we can get the awkwardness! Kuwabara comes out of his weird trance thing to find Keiko crying against his chest. Wow, he thinks, this girl must be really into me!

God, to have the confidence of Kuwabara.

Of course, Keiko quickly realizes it's not Yusuke anymore and slaps him too for cuddling her closer. My favorite thing is that when she does this a crowd INSTANTLY appears. I mean they TELEPORT in. We needed an audience for Kuwabara's shame and YYH delivered, all logic be damned.

“Um, sorry about that!” Keiko yells as she runs away, because she's a good person who recognizes that weird spirit things just went on and Kuwabara isn't actually to blame.

“No, that’s okay. I probably deserved it," Kuwabara responds because he's also a good person and I didn't appreciate him nearly as much as I should have as a kid.

Keiko runs all the way to Atsuko's place where she finds her dressed for Yusuke's funeral. She blurts that Yusuke might still be coming back and Atsuko goes, "He already has." Turns out she opened his coffin to "smack him one more time for leaving me" — yikes — and found that his heart had started beating again, just as Koenma said it would.

Being in a shonen anime, they apparently decide to just trust Keiko's message rather than, idk, taking him to a hospital or something.

The camera tilts up to show that Yusuke has been watching all this, including that both women break down again and comfort one another. Aww. How heartwarming.

What's less fuzzy though is this mysterious egg. Yusuke takes another look and finds that it has developed a heartbeat too, presumably in time with his body's. He theorizes that he did decent things today, right? But Botan (teasingly) points out that he did beat up a lot of other kids. Rather than getting angry, Yusuke remains uncharacteristically pensive, emphasizing the magnitude of what this means for him. He's got to get it right.

No pressure or anything! We'll have to see how Yusuke balances his karmic scales in the next episode. Until then, I'll try not to put all my TV time into Star Trek: Voyager :D

See you then! 💜

#YYH #Yu Yu Hakusho #YYH recaps #mymetas

17 notes · View notes