#but i don't know if dennis actually knows how much mac cares for him

[kenzie-ann27]

if macdennis actually does become canon, it'll have to go down as one of the greatest love stories in all of television history, and that's coming from the show where one of the two men involved has a dildo bike

[sunscall]

The Mcdonalds' Love Language of Gift Giving

Luther and Mrs Mac hate Mac– this is undeniable. But it wasn't always that way.

Did they have to do this? Not necessarily. Breaking into a house and stealing other people's christmas gifts were extra risky with Mac being there. Mac gets excited and screams when he sees his gift, and they were probably aware of this, which is why he was the last to open his gift.

And yet they chose to bring Mac each time, even though they could've instead stolen the gifts to bring home, pretending like it came from them. I can think of a few reasons why they don't, but the one I'd like to believe is that while they couldn't afford decorating their home, they still wanted little Mac to experience unboxing his gifts the way most kids would– surrounded by a christmas tree and bright lights.

When Luther got out of prison, he showed indifference and even hostility to Mac the entire time, which was why Mac believed that Luther was going to kill him (and Charlie). But it turned out that Luther had listened to Mac when he said he always wanted to go to Cooperstown with his dad, and so Luther bought a ticket for them. When asked why he kept it a secret, Luther said that he just wanted it to be a surprise. For someone who didn't show much emotions, Luther wanted to express his apology by giving Mac what he wanted.

Mac does the same– he listens.

One of Mac's biggest romantic gesture in the show is buying the RPG for Dennis. He was even busying himself the whole day trying to figure out how to surprise Dennis with this. When he finally gave the RPG to Dennis, Dennis asked him, and how did you know I wanted a RPG? And Mac told him that it was because he knew Dennis... and that Dennis had mentioned it a lot of times. Giving a gift was Mac's way of showing Dennis that he cared, and Mac was all smiles after realising that his gift had an effect on Dennis.

Mac was also the one who immediately suggested buying a rat stick for Charlie's 'birthday'. And sure, this could be seen as manipulative, since Charlie wanted to quit rat bashing but I honestly think he knew that if Charlie didn't bash rats, he would still find some other animal to bash. That's because they've known each other since forever, and Charlie had a bashing stick when he was a kid too. And Charlie appreciated the gift, getting super emotional out of happiness.

(In the same episode, Mac bought Dennis a shirt too, but Dennis returned the actual shirt Mac bought for a nicer one. I think this was when Mac realised that he only enjoys giving gifts if the person receiving it actually likes the gift, which led him to listen to Dennis' wishes more and buy the RPG)

Okayyyy, the last. This is minor but Mac's insistence on buying a pear for Charlie when he found out Charlie had never eaten one. And now in the cook book, he has "Pear tart for Charlie" in his section, with a note of thanks because he thinks Charlie is going to like it. Super cute stuff

[fandomconsumesme]

Rambling as to make sense of DTAMHD, tw ed and klinsky reference, this is horrifically long but i promise i'm going somewhere with it

I gotta say, watching it the first time I was fairly disappointed (The acting and episode were great, just wasn't sure how I felt about it as a finale) But having spent time to process, i would say this does its job as a Dennis catharsis episode, particularly symbolically

Starting off, Dennis has been almost scarily normal this season, or about as normal as Dennis can be (catfishing your roommate into using xl anal beads), not creeping on women, not getting fed up with the gang all the time, working with them in a familial manner again. Shockingly, it seems he's doing pretty good, and growing into himself

Like at the beginning of the episode, he's actually going to a doctor and apparently everything looks normal. Either this doctor immediately needs to be disbarred, or Dennis has been doing better taking care of himself, an unheard of concept

4. Dennis has a desperate fear of getting old, willing to do anything to prove himself still valuable, something to be desired, both connected to his childhood abuse by Mrs. klinsky, a way of rationalizing that it was okay because Dennis is special, just more developed, and his tenuous relationship with his mother where he was the golden boy, but emotionally separated from her due to drug abuse.

5. Dennis' mind scenario thing starts right after the title sequence i think, and we pretty much immediately get his interpretation of the gang and how he sees them.

6. Charlie is childlike, confused over the concept of sea level, and Dennis has an almost patronizing view of him, not understanding how he's this way if they are so similar

7. Frank brings up the family style cooking, the point of the pressure cooker, but dennis and the gang are in two different places, and the only reason they called was the sea level thing. Dennis sees the gang as a family, but feels like an outsider

8. Dee is reasonable and kind, backing Dennis up, supporting his decision for a mental health day, but seems to lack understanding as to why Dennis is doing this, a fundamental disconnect

9. Mac is always in view, all of him, the focus of the call. Dennis stays watching him, even though he says nothing particularly relevant in the scene. The whole of him appearing also has interesting implications of Dennis knowing who mac is, but he can only get a picture of the other members of the gang for a few seconds at a time. Mac is his constant.

10. To continue that thread, the other members are always yanking the phone towards them, stopping Dennis from being able to interact with him, but Dennis always knows where he is.

11. Frank is an asshole, diminishing Dennis' problems, acting like they don't exist, and as a much smarter person noted here, dennis' watch starts beeping the moment he starts talking.

12. Mac is also patient, cautious of Dennis' boundaries and doing exactly what he has to to make dennis feel safe.

13. Dennis is insistent on it being his mental health day and none of them participating, but as becomes evident later, the day is miserable BECAUSE they aren't there to back him up and support him. Dennis tries to stay away because they make things complicated, but they make things complicated by causing him to have big feelings.

15. He also gets repeatedly annoyed by very little things, like downloading an app or not getting the precise tea he wanted, but then calms by blaming it on the system (system seems like such a familiar word in the context of dennis and his thoughts... I wonder what it could be referencing lol) So all of those little inconveniences that stop Dennis from doing what he wants, can in fact be attributed to the system. Not only does he acknowledge it's the system, but also that he isn't the only victim, that others suffer because of it.

16. The tsuma blares the song when he opens the door in the parking lot, and he's so focused on stifling it that he doesn't notice he's just made a mistake that will hurt him in the long run.

17. On the French dip, dee once again works in conjunction to Dennis, encouraging them not to eat it. Charlie is afraid of Dennis' wrath, but Mac wants for Dennis to come home and be happy. Mac tries to reassure dennis.

18. Overall an aggravating phone call, but the moment he turns it off there are almost reactionary consequences, a police car pulling him over.

19. Dennis comes up with his own metaphors for what he's going through in his mind, likening himself to a pressure cooker.

20. He also has Dee and Mac decide not to call because they want him to have a successful mental health day and respect his boundaries, but frank continues to belittle

21. Along the lines of 16, "Dennis' true self is the tsuma" theory, he goes into a fit of rage when he can't communicate with his car. Dennis is comfortable in the car, but when he exits he puts on a mask, and now can't get back in.

22. The true DENNIS System,

D-Deliver me from this as in get me out of having to demonstrate value

E-Engage with human as in wanting a real connection rather than a physical one

N-Nancy(boy)/Neighbor/Nightmare/Never ending as in repeatedly nurturing dependence in a way that hurts him with the wrong people

N-NIGHTMARE/Never gonna help me as in even worse than the first n, and him knowing that it only hurts to neglect emotionally

I-Is this real as in the potential of something real with inspire hope

S- Somebody help me as in him wanting to escape the system

23. By my reckoning there are 3 people the ceo could symbolize, those being Frank, mac, or Dennis as a mask.

a. Frank because he is so oblivious, able to live a live of lounging at the beach, but it was his actions and neglect which have led to Dennis being trapped in his own prison. The frank is an older figure, and it makes sense for the diamond to be derived from his heart as he is his offspring in a sense. Dennis is reclaiming his sense of free will, taking back control so he can live a life that isn't predestined by his upbringing. The hand on the chest is trying to make frank understand, dennis still gets the pleasure of violent retribution though.

b. Mac is the one orchestrating the pressure cooking of the diamonds, explains the extreme homoeroticism of the scene. The systems have been created to protect himself from mac, mac is allowed to lounge because he has found peace with himself (MFHP) Dennis wants that for himself, and receives it from mac. Mac reaches out first, at the encouragement of dennis, but is pushed away so dennis can show his appreciation, upon which mac looks shocked. They clearly understand and have sympathy for one another. A love song is playing, and dennis takes mac's purest essence for himself, showing how intertwined they are. Mac is left unhurt because it was about the gesture, not the carnage.

C. Dennis as a mask, or what Dennis has made himself into to survive, lounges because he has been given control over the inner dennis. He has created all of the systems, and tsuma is his, made into a form that he can control for his own benefit. Dennis is his own worst enemy, and seeks to deconstruct this unfeeling being in order to find himself. He has a touching moment with himself, where mask dennis realizes that it is necessary that true dennis come to power. explains the homoeroticism because of narcissism, and ultimately true dennis decides the most humane thing he can do is leave behind mask dennis, killing him gently and taking his heart, condensing it into a diamond that symbolizes his innate goodness and incorporating it into true dennis.

I personally think it's a mixture of all three, but regardless this IS Dennis' catharsis. The motifs are there (crying, a powerful body of water) and dennis takes back control, actively choosing to be better. it's different, but it's still there.

24. In the end, when it's all revealed to be a glimpse into Dennis' mind and he's lowered his blood pressure, it's not because he's won per say. before the title, Dennis was keying up for some kind of angry meltdown, but he takes a moment and thinks better. i wouldn't say Dennis has had just one catharsis, but a million little ones in his mind since the season started, a million little choices to be kinder, more patient, better. He calms down and has found at least a temporary solution to his problem (The kratom doesn't hurt either) dennis has gotten so much better with interacting with others this season tbh, and to continue that to an extent would stop him from being the dennis we all know and love, sleazy and manipulative. And what he loves, what he knows will help him, is to be with the gang, his family. And he makes the choice to go to them too.

Remember, there is a structure. It will be fulfilled. (And if it isn't, at least we have FVR and Tends Bar)

[charmac]

Heyo! I'd be interested to hear your theories on the macdennis writer's room situation!

IMO it's not as simple as 'Rob is pro and Glenn is anti' (and we always ignore Charlie in these conversations even though he's quite into it in the dvd commentary and pod), so your suggestion that the subtlety (lol it's really not subtle, but yeah r/iasip ig) in the writing of their relationship might be glenn's idea is quite intriguing to me, and I wonder how this all relates to the opposing views on whether Dennis is a serial killer amongst rcg. So much of the writing of Dennis comes from Charlie and also Rob, but it's definitely influenced by them observing Glenn (like the cereal story) and by Glenn's performance. And ofc we know Glenn pushes back if Dennis is written as too heartless because he maintains that he does have feelings and is quite sensitive in a way. Not sure where I'm going with this... I don't have a full theory fleshed out in my head yet, so I'd really like to hear your thoughts!

(not trying to stir anything with this ask btw: in fact, iirc there were some posts about this subject a few months ago and I didn't engage then because it pissed me off when the conversation turned into a "who supports the quuer fans more" kind of competition, as if macden is something so basic between rob and glenn, when we really have no evidence about what happens fr bts, beyond some fun speculation. just enjoy theorizing in drought times.)

Hey, thanks for the ask! To address your final point first, I don't want to talk publicly about what may or may not be the motivations of Glenn and Rob as "queer allies" or how they think this may affect their careers or whatnot. These kinds of discussions I don't believe are ever effective publicly when you don't know the truth. I'm not speculating on their motivations as people but as writers who care about the story they're telling and, more importantly, their characters.

When my message was "anti" and "pro" it was really just from the discussion that someone had to be pushing back against what I believe is Rob pushing forward (This was a black and white, who wants Macden now and who is saying no, wait. I truly do and always have believed Macden will happen. The nuanced discussion came after, in messages I'd rather not share since they are not just my personal thoughts but a conversation with another user.) I

t's not necessarily that Glenn is anti-Macdennis (and I think you understand that) and I want to clarify first off that I definitely don't think it's as simple as that, so here we go:

For Glenn pushing the subtlety, I think we agree completely that it likely links to how Glenn wants the audience to perceive his character (and how I love perceiving him): Dennis talks a big game that to the untrained eye makes him seem like this cold-blooded psychopath, but it's all a complete front you can easily see through. He gets a thrill out of these terrible things but would never act on them. It's interesting to hear of the live show "Dennis is a serial killer" talk brought up right along side all of this, because it's a perfect example of how Rob and Glenn clearly have opposing views on Dennis' character, and how that definitely plays into why they don't agree on canonising Macdennis. (As I understand, Dennis gets a thrill out of the idea of murder or harming people, but he could never act on it. Reddit (and to some lesser degree, Rob), don't get this, and think he probably does act on it and it's just not shown in canon (despite the mountains of evidence that Dennis is much too weak and feeble to ever do anything).

If you think about their current dynamic (actually, ignore 15, we'll get there), they've completely flipped from early seasons, and I don't think that's accidental or a fault of bad writing, I think it 1. is a result of Mac labelling himself as gay, finally, in S12 and 2. is a result of Glenn continuing to fight for Dennis' character staying consistent.

From point 1: Dennis was always the more effeminate, more coded to like men one, more touchy with Mac, a little obviously in love with him, until Mac outwardly expressed those feelings back. As early as M&DBU you can see how terrified Dennis is of being seen as gay, and in a relationship with Mac. For Dennis, as gay as it got, it was okay until it was labelled. Now that Mac is labelling himself as gay, now there's a hard stop for Dennis. Being with Mac is something Dennis could act on, and then be labelled as. (gay, bi, likes men, fucking Mac, boyfriend *shutters*) This is something that would happen if he didn't keep full, hard control against it.

To point 2: I think this was a bit of a divide in the writers room that Glenn couldn't control. S12 he bowed out, clearly he was feeling lost in Dennis and the writers room. When he left for S13 and 14, and you can see how Rob's want for Mac to be out, canon, very gay, in love with Dennis, comes through full-speed in these seasons, because Glenn wasn't writing (mostly). Rob wanting this directly conflicts with Glenn's writing for Dennis. Dennis is opposing Mac in every way, he has this exterior he has to put on, anti-Mac, anti-whatever they were, he's completely thrown off by Mac, hates their old dynamic.

Rob wants canon Macden, but he perceives Dennis differently than Glenn does, and likes this opposing path of the two of them, and that's obviously creating an issue. Clearly I don't know Rob's intentions, and maybe I'm talking out of my ass, but I don't think I'd be far off to say that he'd enjoy putting Macdennis through some desperation-hell (ala, Dennis gives in and gets with Mac because he's horny, uses him, DENNIS systems him, the result is Mac has always been the long-con for Dennis, which I admit, I wouldn't hate hate).

I think Glenn is against it, because there's always been something there for Dennis and there's a reason he came back, there's a reason he's always stayed around, always supported Mac. He is in love with Mac. It's not a system or a game, but a fucking fight for his life to oppose his true feelings and hide his identity, not be labelled. Dennis is stuck, and there's nothing pushing him to do anything about it. He'll get off with his systems and his kinks and he's okay.

Now we move to S15 and look, they aren't...all that opposing...during Lockdown, they...got along. And then, here goes Dennis, yelling and screaming about Mac obsessing over his own labels and identity so he can ignore his internal struggle. It's clear, he needs something to push him.

How do they go about it? Dennis jealousy arc seems like the perfect fucking beautiful compromise. Rob gets something raw, a little insane from Dennis, and Glenn gets to show that Dennis really is in fucking love with Mac.

TL;DR: Rob wants Macden now in some kind of dirty, get on with it, Dennis is using Mac kind of way. Glenn doesn't want it canon until they reach the conclusion of this arc that shows Dennis really does have big feelings (good and bad), and those feelings really kinda have a lot to do with Mac.

--

AGAIN THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS AND I OFTEN WATCH THIS SHOW WHILE HIGH OR CROSS FADED SO IF YOU DISAGREE THATS TOTALLY 100% OKAY I DO NOT CARE IF YOU READ ALL THIS AND THINK IM STUPID OR WAY TOO INSANE ABOUT THIS ALL THATS TOTALLY VALID FOR YOU TO SAY! IF THERES NO JEALOUSY ARC IN s16 I AM A CLOWNNNNN!!!

[unfixablebabyyy]

pt 2 of the dennis You thing uh fair warning it's kinda all over the place but i had fun writing it (also gonna post it w the original but im a boomer and despite a decade on this site i still don't know how to work it properly lmao)

(nsfw, minors DNI)

There's something wrong with me. I haven't really been sleeping which is doing a number on the bags under my eyes. I keep getting these crazy headaches. I think I'm breaking out- I caught a blemish in the mirror last night and I'm certain it's gotten worse. Unfortunately, it's all your fault. The last woman I slept with was in and out of my mind faster than I was in and out of her, but you are driving me absolutely insane. Mac has started to notice, which is goddamn annoying. He keeps looking at me like I have some kind of disease, asking me stupid questions, constantly hovering. Maybe it's because I stopped eating. Or maybe it's because I stopped taking my meds. Either way, he knows something is up, but he can't find out, and neither can Charlie, and absolutely not Frank. You're too sweet to keep a secret from Dee and, no offense, but quite frankly, I don't think you could- you're not a very good liar. And if Dee knows we slept together, what if she told you about all the weird and horrible things I've done? She's been oddly quiet about the whole thing. I can't even think about it without feeling nauseous. What if she told you about the system? Or the binders? Or the tapes? Or all that stuff hidden in the side panel in the trunk of my car? I'm not stupid, I know that stuff is more than off-putting- it's incriminating. I need to calm down. I really need a Valium but I forgot to get my prescription filled- my mind has been occupied by one thing: you.

It's been about a week since we had sex. I made you dinner, and I did my homework- I knew exactly what to say, exactly when to laugh, exactly how and where to touch you. I like the music you listen to and the movies you watch, or at least that's what I made you think when I had it all queued up, with notes on your favorite parts. We're compatible, see? I drank too much, which was stupid of me, but you didn't seem to mind. It all happened so fast and intense and I was in control right up until I wasn't. As I watch the tape for the 500th time I swear I can pinpoint the exact moment you slipped into my brain and made a permanent home there. That night I did the unthinkable and actually allowed you to stay over and when I woke up the next morning with you lying beside me I was shocked to realize that I actually hated the thought of you leaving. And when you did finally leave, I felt so empty it made me sick.

Usually, once I've been with someone intimately, my desire for them fizzles into boredom within a few hours or so, but I feel like I want you more now than I ever did before. I need to feel your hands on my body, your breath against my neck, your lips on mine. I need to taste you again. I want to own you, put you on a leash or handcuff you to my bed and leave you there so that I know you're all mine.

I need to shower. I need to eat something. I need my meds. My hands are starting to tremor and when I stand up my head rushes and I almost blackout. Is this what it feels like? I'd almost forgotten. I need to focus. The last time I felt even remotely this way for someone, it ended in alimony and a murder accusation. I pick up my phone from my bedside table. 5:17 PM.

"Hey. Stop by the bar if you're out tonight, drinks are on me." Send. I groan. Get it together. I should really go and open the bar. Can't forget to stop by the pharmacy.

It takes me two hours to get ready because I can't decide what to wear or which cologne you might like more. The uncertainty is making me so anxious I forget to grab something to eat on the way out.

"Dennis! Can I come with you?"

I think Mac is yelling at me as I bound down the stairs, but I don't really care- I can't handle him right now. Outside the sun is getting low, painting the sidewalk with shadows. When I get to my car and slide into the driver's seat, I immediately feel a little better. The warmth of the day coupled with the smell of the interior lull the chaos into a low buzz. I inhale through my nose and close my eyes. Relax. I turn on the Range and the radio comes to life. I cringe, resist the urge to cover my ears with my hands as the chorus of "Hungry Like the Wolf" blasts at full volume. I snatch the dial and turn it down. Any other time I would've loved a little Duran Duran, but right now, it's jarring and abrasive. I pull out a Jimmy Buffet CD and stick it into the slot. As I back out of a parallel park, I begin to sing along, "I spent four lonely days in a brown LA haze, and I just want you back by my side." That's right, focus. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar.

I almost blow up at the pharmacist over the fact that it takes twice as long to get my prescription, except that she looks at me like she knows me, and not in a good way. She's tall, with dark hair and chocolate eyes, and I have to admit she does look a little familiar, but she's not you, so it doesn't matter. When she hands me my prescription and I still don't recognize her, she seems irritated.

Back in the Range, I pop open the cap and dump the pills in my hand. I pick out one and swallow it dry. The rest of the medication go back into the bottle, with the cap twisted tight, and I'm off to the bar, 20mph over the speed limit. When I finally turn onto Paddy's block, I clock Dee's car across the street from the entrance. I should have never given her that damn key. But then again, I've been so distracted lately, maybe I left it unlocked. Thank god the Valium is starting to kick in, otherwise I would be boiling over right now. Lucky her, I guess. I still slam the door when I get out, but before I enter the building, I roll the tension out of my shoulders and take a deep breath.

Inside, Dee is sitting at the bar, facing the door, with a heavy pour of wine in her hand and a smug grin plastered on her sharp face. Our entire lives, she's never bested me in anything other than being born 3 minutes before me, so her confidence right now is unnerving.

"Oh come on, really? Have you just been sitting here alone all day getting drunk?" a successful attempt at knocking her down a peg. Whatever you've told her (or she's told you) has inflated her ego dangerously.

"What?! Fuck you, I'm not drunk, I'm trapping you," she snaps back.

"Trapping me?" I can't help but laugh. It's so easy to get under her skin. I step behind the bar and take a clean glass to the tap, pouring myself a beer, preparing myself for what's to come.

"What do you want with my friend you little freak?" she blurts out, as clumsy with her words as she is with her lanky body.

"You have friends?" the drugs are doing their job. I feel like I'm beginning to even out, gain some control.

Dee, on the other hand, is seeing red, "You know who I'm talking about, don't play stupid with me. You couldn't just bang her and be done?" So then she knows I invited you.

"Honestly, Dee, I don't know who you're talking about," I take a sip of my beer and lean on the bar.

"Oh yeah? Then why don't I just text her and tell her not to come to Paddy's tonight?" Bitch. She smiles when she sees the mask come off and I glare at her.

"Whatever," my jaw clenches a little, but I try to maintain my posture.

"So? What are you planning?" she asks, and I roll my eyes.

"You always assume the worst," to be fair, she's also seen the worst.

"Yeah, because you haven't fucked the same girl twice since high school," that's probably true, "So what is it? You trying to prove some point to Mac? Did you and Frank make some gross bet about 'who could fuck Dee's friend first'? I mean what are you up to?" she squints at me, trying desperately to see inside my brain. I just shrug.

"Nothing," she should know I'm telling the truth- it's incredibly difficult to lie to your twin. But apparently I absorbed most of her brain in the womb.

"Dennis."

"Deandra," I mock, my patience wearing thin. Before she can open her big mouth, I say, "It's just drinks, ok? I had fun last time and I figured we could all hang out. That's all."

The longer the silence lingers, the more she begins to believe me until her eyes go wide, and she gasps, "Oh my God!" Suddenly, the door crashes open and in walk Frank, Mac, and Charlie. My stomach drops. I shoot her a pleading look, but she's ecstatic.

"Don't fuck this up for me," I whisper through clenched teeth, but it's too late. Dee turns to the gang.

"Dennis has a crush!" she shouts. The guys go silent. Mac's face twists as he cocks his head to the side.

"On a girl?" Frank doesn't look convinced.

"No he doesn't," Mac says incredulously. Good boy.

"Yeah, come on, Dee, what are you saying?" Charlie laughs.

"Shut up, Dee. If Dennis had a crush I would know about it, right Dennis?" Mac flashes his puppy eyes at me.

"Yeah, for sure," I reply, and Mac gives Dee an 'I told you so' look. The wind is absolutely sucked out of her sails.

"No, no, guys, do you remember my friend from the other day?" she desperately tries to hold their attention, but they've already stopped caring. We exchange glances, but that's the last of it.

"Dennis, pour me a glass of that slippery drink," Frank says as he climbs onto a barstool. My nerves are too fried for this shit.

"How am I supposed to know what that is?"

Frank waves his hand, "I don't know, Charlie always makes it for me."

"Oh good, I'm sure it's not something poison, then."

"No, no, Dennis, see, the Borax gives it this really nice sweet metallic taste-" Charlie begins to explain, but I raise my hand to cut him off.

"You know what, Charlie? I'm going to stop you right there because Borax is the stuff we use to clean the bar towels." I turn back to Frank, "I'm not making that- you're getting a beer."

"Oh, me too, please, Dennis!" Mac chimes in as he squeezes past Dee to sit on the stool beside her, nearly knocking her off her seat.

A few hours and a couple of drinks later, the door to Paddy's opens and in you walk with a burst of cool night air. There's the clatter of pool balls as Mac stands from his shot and I smile at you from the table, leaning on my pool stick, the medication and the alcohol bringing me right back down to where I need to be.

"Hey! Look who it is!" Charlie, who is drunk enough to be slurring his words, waves you over. "Wanna see something crazy I found in the alley today?" Before he can show you whatever it is, Dee pulls you aside and shoves some strong cocktail she made into your hand. I need to intercept.

"You want another drink?" I ask Mac to cover myself. I want to sprint over to you but I need to have self control.

"Nah," thankfully, he's busy lining up and practicing his next shot. As I make my way over I can feel my heart beating against my rib cage like a trapped moth.

"Hey," I hug you, kissing you on the cheek as I lean in. You're so warm and your hair smells like shampoo.

"Hi," your face feels hot against my cheek and when I pull away I can see that it's starting to turn pink. Dee looks like she's about to throw up.

"You wanna play?" I ask, motioning to the pool stick in my right hand, "Mac and I just finished a game."

"Yeah, sure," you look so cute and you don't even have to try- though it's obvious you have. It's reassuring. You want to impress me which means Dee couldn't have told you much.

"I'll be right over, I was just gonna grab another beer," I point to the abomination Dee gave you, "You want something else?"

You blush and look over your shoulder to make sure Dee isn't paying attention before leaning in, "A beer would be great," you whisper. God, you're so sweet, so careful about my sister's feelings. I nod and give you a little wink and when you brush past me to join Mac at the pool table I'm hit with a wave of your perfume and it's just as intoxicating as the first time.

"What did you tell her?" my face is inches from her ear, causing Dee to jump and drop her phone onto the bar.

She rolls her eyes and huffs, "Nothing, weirdo. Your stupid little secret is safe with me... for now."

Great. She wants to keep me nervous, like she's got me wrapped around her finger, but she never will. That information is all I need from her. I grab the beers and head back to the pool table, ignoring her glare. There you're bent over the felt, taking notes from Mac who thinks he's giving you good advice.

"Now when you go to hit the ball, if you put your hips into it, it's like an extra boost of power," he's saying as I step up behind you.

"I don't think that's right, Mac," you reply.

"Well then how do you do it?" he challenges. I cant stop staring at your ass.

You line up your shot and strike the cue ball. It hits a stripe that ricochets off the side of the table before missing the pocket by a fraction of an inch. "Fuck," you mutter.

"See? You needed that extra push!" Mac thrusts his hips as he tries to prove his point.

"Mac, you look and sound ridiculous," I finally weigh in, setting our beers on a nearby table. "Here," I prop my stick up against the table and pick up the cue ball, placing it in its original position. "Try again," I say, and you obey. You bend back over the table and aim your stick at a different stripe ball. Such a good girl. My fingers slowly press into your hips, tilting them forward as the heel of my hand presses gently into the small of your back. I nudge your feet apart so that you're standing square. I have to step back or you'll feel how hard I'm getting. You take another shot, and the stripe falls into the pocket with a satisfying crack.

"Whatever," Mac stomps over to the bar, leaving the two of us to start our game.

I give an approving nod that I know goes straight to your panties, "That was pretty good." You lean back against the table and cross your arms over your chest, which squishes your breasts together, and you wore something low cut like a little slut. I want to take you out back and pick up where we left off, "Why don't we make this a little more interesting?" You raise an eyebrow, "How about loser goes home with the winner?"

"Hm," you match my grin, your eyes dancing, "Fine. Deal." And I'm back on. You want me, and any doubt or fear I'd held onto despite the Valium and the alcohol vanishes instantly. I begin to gather the balls for the break.

"Just out of curiosity, what do you think my chances are here?"

Without looking up, I chuckle and reply, "Slim to none." I then lift up the rack and gesture, "After you."

Ten minutes later, you lose. Of course.

"Good game," I round the table to lean next to you. You're so close I can feel the heat of your body against me and if it weren't for my friends and the accusations this afternoon, I'd kiss you. "So, did you wanna leave now, or...?" You laugh.

"I thought you were buying drinks tonight?" you challenge. It's only 10:00- the night is still young and you want a hunt. I'm more than happy to give it to you.

"Fine," the words leave my mouth faster than I can catch them, "I suppose if you're willing to release your inhibitions, I'm not going to argue." That was a bizarre thing to say. I'm still off my game, unable to reel it in because every time I look at you I think about the way you made me feel that night. To my surprise, you just giggle.

"If you slip me something, I'll pretend I didn't see," you shouldn't joke about that- I just might.

"Hey you guys wanna do some shots?" Frank shouts across the bar.

"Looks like you're up, bartender," you bat your eyelashes at me before walking over to the bar to join the rest of the gang, hips swaying, making my mouth water.

As the evening wears on, one by one they drop like flies. Charlie is the first to go- passed out in the men's restroom, an open can of paint at his side. Next is Frank, of course, sprawled over Charlie's lap and snoring like a chainsaw. Dee and Mac last until around 2AM, but after Dee throws up into the ice machine, it takes every ounce of composer for me not to lose my mind on her. You might find that unattractive. Instead I suggest she goes home, heavily implying that it's not a suggestion at all. Mac is the last to go, but he doesn't leave without asking if I need help closing about a million times and throwing you an odd look. When the door shuts and the two of us are finally alone, you lean over the bar, and I can feel your eyes on me as I wipe down the counter with an old bar towel.

"So, Dee seems to think there's an expiration date on our... whatever you wanna call this." That dumb bitch. I bet she told you all about my penchant for fleeting affairs. I bet she told you I'm a womanizer or a misogynist or just a fucking asshole. I bet she told you you were too good for me, and maybe she's right, but fuck her.

"Dee doesn't think- if she did that would imply that she has a brain," that was too mean. I can tell because you don't respond right away and I'm afraid that maybe you think I'm annoyed at you and not my idiot sister.

"If there is, that's fine," you continue carefully, "I would just like to be in the know."

"My sister believes I'm incapable of having any kind of genuine feelings toward someone I'm sleeping with," I have a feeling you'd appreciate honesty over any lie I could conjure up, even if it's a good one. You're clever. Sometimes I feel like you can see right through me and it scares the shit out of me.

You pause. "Is she right?"

"No," I've never been so sincere with a woman and it's making my palms sweat. You hold back a grin and I feel exposed, my stomach clenches, and I have to take the wheel or I'm going to start getting all nervous. I bite down on the inside of my cheek. "Alright," I pick up my jacket from behind the bar and pull my keys out of the pocket, "You wanna get out of here?"

"Absolutely."

You wait on the sidewalk as I turn off the 'Open' sign and lock the doors. Tossing the jacket into the back seat of my Range Rover, I round to your side and open the passenger door for you. As you step up to slide into the car, you lean up and kiss my cheek and I feel my entire body go numb.

"What a gentleman," you grin and bite your lip and I want to spank you but I don't because you just called me a gentleman.

We share a cigarette on the way to the apartment despite my rule against it in the car- I can't help myself, I need to taste your mouth. You tell me all about the week you had and I react as if I don't know- as if I haven't been following you around this entire time. As I slowly pull up to the building, I look up at my window where I catch a glimpse of Mac as he flips on the kitchen light and walks past. Shit. As I park the car, I figure the best I can do is bring you upstairs and hope Mac sees it as an easy fallback- if I could get Dee's friend once, might as well get her again while she's around, right? That cover story would have to do.

You follow me into the building and up the stairs, pausing at the door as I sort through the keys. Just as I touch the key to the lock, the door jerks open.

"Oh thank God- I heard you coming down the hallway- hey can you help me-" Mac is breathless as he speaks, but when his eyes fall on you he abruptly stops. "Uh, hey." He smiles at you to mask his confusion.

"Long time, no see," you joke and he lets out a short laugh before glancing at me. I glare back at him, challenging him to choose his words carefully.

"Yeah... So what are you guys up to tonight?" Wrong. I clench my jaw. What do you think?

"We were just going to go watch a movie," I squint at Mac, hoping he'll get the hint to shut up and go away.

"Oh, cool, well... have fun," Mac looks for approval, but I deny him the satisfaction, brushing past him and pulling you along until we're both in my bedroom behind a locked door. The reality of having you alone in here is indescribable. It's all nerves and appetite in the dim blue light. It all feels so good in the dark.

I'm willing to behave, but as I move towards the television, your body collides into mine, your lips on my neck, teeth grazing my skin. I already like this game more than any other we've played.

"Are you gonna fuck me tonight, daddy?" your voice in my ear sends chills down my arms. Your generation is so needy, and I knew you were dangerous when you let me come close to choking you in the alley that night, but I've been looking through your laptop when you leave it at home, your phone when you were sleeping the night I claimed you. I've seen your search history, the things you watch at 3AM when you're lonely in bed and undoubtedly thinking of me. You're depraved.

"Oh yeah, kitten," my fingers weave through the hair at the base of your skull. I tug hard and you gasp, chin tilted upward, throat exposed. You shiver when I run my tongue from your collarbone to the curve of your jaw. I nip your earlobe before pushing you away roughly.

You stumble back and bite your lip, waiting for a command. It's been two weeks since we met, and one intimate encounter and you're already so eager to obey. God, you're perfect. "Take your clothes off," our eyes are locked, and I don't let you look away. It's almost sacrilegious that you're still fully clothed- here in my room, you belong naked. Always. You pull your shirt over your head and reach behind for your bra. "No," my voice stops you on a dime, "Slower," I demand as I step back and sit down on the edge of my bed.

From here, I watch the way your breath hitches when the cups of your bra brush your nipples as it slides down your arms and falls to the floor, the way you rub your thighs together before pushing your jeans to your ankles, the way you look at me- standing there, in just your underwear, exposed- like a fawn in the soft glow of the city night that filters through the window.

"Come here," you look like you want to jump into my lap, but you're being so disciplined with me. And why wouldn't you be? I'm your elder, I command respect, and it's my job to teach you manners. You slowly walk over and straddle my hips before planting yourself on my thighs, your hands pressed against my chest.

I wonder if you can feel my entire body buzzing beneath you. You've been waiting for this, too. I can tell. You're absolutely ravenous with it. Usually I would find this kind of behavior to be slightly endearing if not pathetic, but I want you so bad it's only driving me further down the rabbit hole. You're allowing me to control you and it's like it's the only thing I've ever truly wanted. I wonder how far you'll let me go. Not tonight. I want you to trust me- I /need/ you to trust me. So for now I'll play nice. If you want daddy to fuck you, then I will. I'll make you think I love you, princess.

I slip a hand between us and press my index and middle finger to your clothed cunt. It's already soaked through the fabric. I watch your pupils blow out as I push your panties aside and touch you, dipping both fingers into your soft, wet folds and sliding them up to meet your clit. You let out a soft mewl and I have to remind myself to breathe. Usually it's all about me, and why wouldn't it be? I'm the man after all. But I need you to know how good I can make you feel so that it hurts even more when I teach you what pain really is. I'm going to make you cum over and over again in every way I can possibly think of, and then, I'm going to deprive you. I can't wait to watch the light slip out of your eyes when you realize the fun is over, that you're mine, that your only purpose is to please me.

I can't help myself- without warning, I plunge my fingers into your tight little hole. You rise, yelp, jerk away at the sudden intrusion, but I'm much stronger than you, and an arm around your waist holds you in place.

"Shh," I swirl my fingers inside of you and you cringe, but this time, you stay seated like a good girl. You like it when I hurt you. I reward you with patience- pumping my fingers in and out of you slowly, gently spreading them as I go, stretching you out. You moan and slump into me, your face to my neck, planting lazy kisses as I work on your pussy. I feel like I'm going to black out. My clothes are suffocating. When I pull my hand away from your heat, you whine. I wrap both arms around you and flip you onto your back so that I'm on top of you, my knees between your legs, arms on either side of your rib cage. I sit up for a moment to remove my shirt, unbuckle my pants. You bite your lip and I reach down and run my thumb along your jaw. You lean in to my touch and when I get to your chin I gently pull your bottom lip from between your teeth. And then the pad of my thumb is pressing down on your tongue.

"You look so pretty," and you do- looking up at me through your eyelashes, sucking on my thumb, body nearly naked beneath me. Nearly. I pull my hand away from your face and nudge your hips. You lift them and I slide your panties down enough for you to relax back into the mattress. As I begin to work the thin fabric down your legs, something comes over me, and I back down off the bed and kneel on the floor. You sit up, watching me, eyes going wide when I grab your ankles and tug you closer. I haven't done this in a really long time. A really long time. I'm not nervous, but my heart is racing.

I pull you a little closer, and this time I'm more gentle. You inhale sharply when I drape your knees over my shoulders and the flutter of my breath hits your glistening cunt. When I look up at you, your eyes lock with mine, and I take the opportunity to slowly lower my head between your thighs. I watch your face as I press the flat of my tongue against your hole and drag it up. You taste so good, better than I'd imagined. Your fingers curl into my hair, and the dull burn in my scalp feels so good, I pull away a little just to feel your grip tighten as you whine and tug me back into you.

I hear you breathe my name as I relearn how to do this. I had been certain there wasn't a thing about sex that you could teach me, yet here we are. And I want to make you feel good. I want to be the best you've ever had. I need to be. So I take it slow, I pay attention to the way your body moves, the sounds you make, the pace of your breath, the rate of your pulse against my mouth.

I pull away for a moment for air, turn my face into your inner thigh and close my teeth around your soft flesh and you gasp and pull my hair so hard my head feels like it's on fire, so instead of letting go, I leave a dark purple hickey in the center of the indentation my teeth made on your skin. You moan and it rattles through me and I'm back to devouring you. I add a finger, then two, then three, and the sounds you're making are absolutely obscene and I think I'm getting you closer.

You squeeze down on my fingers and I swear to god I feel it on my dick. I groan into you and the vibration makes you flutter around me again and I touch myself with my free hand. I might actually cum from this. Your legs start to shake on my shoulders, and I focus on doing everything right as you whimper and moan and white knuckle my sheets.

"Dennis," your voice breaks through our syncopated panting and makes my dick twitch in my hand and if my eyes were open you would see them roll to the back of my head. The pressure is building- I feel your thighs tense against my ears, and I'm beginning to lose my pace on myself- it all feels so overwhelmingly good. I open my eyes to see your chest rising and falling quickly. Like a trapped rabbit. My teeth graze against your flesh and I nip at you lightly, shove my tongue inside of you, replace it with my fingers once again as I suck and bite at your clit. You let out one loud scream before remembering where you are, and sob as you teeter on the edge of climax.

"Daddy, c-can I-" you clench your jaw and knit your brow and it's so cute that you can't even use your words, and it's so cute that you call me daddy, and I'm about to cum, too, so all I can say is:

"Yeah, princess," and you're cumming around my fingers, against my open mouth as I spill out over the carpet and think vaguely about the stain. I thought you tasted good before, but now, I'm ravenous, and I love the way you tremble as I refuse to let up.

A few seconds later, you're cumming again, and if it wasn't for the alcohol and my medication, I would be ready for round two. Instead, I clean you up with my tongue and you scratch my head in sweet little circles as you come down. When your fingers find the space behind my ears my whole body tingles and it's like you've hit some sort of off switch. You giggle when I moan and close my eyes and rest my head against your thigh.

"I always catch you doing this," you take my earlobe between your thumb and forefinger and rub it a little, "What's up with that?" I hum at the familiar feeling coming from unfamiliar hands.

"I've been doing it since I was little," I mumble as you continue to make my brain short circuit, "I do it when I'm nervous," I'm not sure why I told you that part.

"You were doing it at the bar tonight," you comment, and despite the pleasure, my body tenses a little, "Do I make you nervous?"

When I open my eyes and look up at you, you're looking right through me, into my soul. I can't lie.

"Yes," and it makes me crazy. You smile.

"Good. That must mean you really like me."

I roll my eyes and sneak a quick nip to the inside of your thigh where my cheek was resting. You yelp and sit up to smack at me but I'm faster and I'm on top of you, pinning you by the wrists as you laugh. I hate how vulnerable you make me, all twisted up and trapped inside, and I feel like I need to contain you, but my hands on your wrists and my weight on top of you isn't enough. You have invaded every part of me, and it's too much.

"Well?" I can hear the smile in your voice even though my face is buried in your neck.

"Yeah, yeah," I feel like I'm in high school. You're younger than me and here I am blushing into the crook of your shoulder.

"Cool," your fingers slip through the hair at the base of my skull, "I like you, too." And even though I know that, the wave of relief that rolls over me makes me physically relax.

"Then you're staying," it's something between a question and a statement because the adrenaline is still making my head fuzzy. With my ear against your chest I can hear the methodical beat of your heart behind your sternum. I can't remember a time I was this intimate with someone. I want to get up, wash my face, grab you some of my clothes to wear, but my skin feels stuck to yours and your fingers in my hair is turning me off again. The air conditioner hums to life in my window and I feel the goosebumps pick up on your arms, your legs, the cool breeze ghosting over the thin sheen of sweat on your body. I sigh as I pick myself up off of you. I walk over to my dresser and tug open the top drawer, pulling out one of my Penn sweatshirts and toss it to you.

You bring the ball of fabric to your face, close your eyes and inhale. "You know this is mine, now," you say as you pull it over your head and hug yourself. I wish you weren't joking- I would love to see you in my sweatshirt every day for the rest of your life. I hope you wear it home tomorrow. I hope you don't go home at all. Next I throw you a pair of my boxers and when you stand and shimmy them up your legs, they hang so loosely off of your hips that I can almost see the v of your pelvis before you smooth the sweatshirt back down.

You hop back onto the bed and burrow under the covers, and I go to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. By the time I get back, you're sound asleep, your head on my pillow, filling my bed with the smell of your shampoo and body wash and lotion and perfume and you. I'm careful not to disturb you as I make my way into bed, as if you might leave if you wake up. When I wrap my arms around you and pull you into me, you murmur in your sleep and relax into my chest. I probably won't get much rest tonight, so I just enjoy the feeling of your warmth against me and the sound of your breathing as I think of how I'm going to explain this to my friends.

[drbased]

I watched this really, really good analysis of always sunny and I agreed with all of it, but she had to sneak the obligatory 'Charlie is a nonbinary icon' in there. Here's why Charlie being nonbinary would destroy one of the entire conceits of the show:

As she says, IASIP is a satire; it holds up a funhouse mirror to society and says, 'this is how you look' so we laugh but also can think about our actions and beliefs. In this satire, Mac, Dennis and Charlie represent the three facets of maleness and masculinity:

Dennis: Dennis represents rape culture, sexual insecurity and tyrannical narcissism

Mac: Mac represents hyper-masculinity, the 'naturalising' of patriarchy through religion, and the misogyny and homophobia that come with that

Charlie: Charlie represents audacity. Charlie is disgusting, uneducated and gullible. But he has absolutely no shame, he has zero self-awareness and no insecurity. He believes that he's owed the waitress despite offering nothing of value; he simply deserves her because he wants her.

Frank is the glue that binds them together. Frank is, in many ways, all of them combined: the lechery of Dennis, the bigotry of Mac, and the audacity of Charlie. But he has a confidence that they don't; he is more successful than they will ever be, because he puts the effort in. At the end of the day, Frank shows that even if these guys actually tried they'd still be abhorrent people with failed relationships living in squalor; this isn't a case of 'failed masculinity' holding the three men back; the values they all share are rotten to the core.

Painting Charlie as nonbinary misses the whole point; he's supposed to represent the more respectable face of masculinity - someone who is on the surface nicer, more respectful of women, who has romantic ideals and simple dreams, who toils stoicly with no delusions of grandure. He's supposed to represent the family-oriented, respectful, humble male. A good salt-of-the-earth working man. But in reality, as anyone who has met a man will verify, your chances of meeting a genuinely humble man are slim. He might be 'humble' in the sense that he does the shit jobs that no one else can do, but that never stops him from indulging in ridiculous schemes, from assuming that he knows how to be a lawyer, from stalking his chosen woman. He is demonstrably actively proud of his working-man status.

If you say he's nonbinary, or any gender other than male, the satire is lost; you concede that these traits aren't masculine enough and therefore aren't male enough. If you say he's nonbinary, you concede that he is sufficiently kinder than the others to 'opt out' of maleness (and yet terfs are the 'men bad' ideology 🤔), and his stalking is now seen as a genderless belief and activity rather than one that has an incredibly clear history of being something men do to women.

This is a more extreme version of how 'nice guys' present themselves; they believe that because they're not like Dennis (they don't actively seek to rape women), or like Mac (they don't make misogynistic comments and insults to a woman's face) then they must be the respectful form of maleness, which is Charlie. But Charlie's form of maleness doesn't stand in contrast to the others; it merely represents another facet to maleness that works together with them. After all, if those forms of masculinity contrasted each other, then the characters would argue all the time that the other is being disrespectful to women. But none of them care. If anything, they stand a united front against women like The Waitress, they will join forces to torture Dee, they will accept Dennis as a rapist as long as they don't have to think about it too much. And that's how misogyny operates in the real world; men may have contrasting beliefs about what 'counts' as misogyny, but ultimately they will all protect each other in the end. At the end of 'The Nightman Cometh' they all gather round the heartbroken Charlie, as if what he did was a sincere gesture of love to a human being, and not a comically obvious attempt at manipulation. It's deeply cruel and misogynist to paint Charlie as anything other than a man.

[cosmoseinfeld]

five ships for five fandoms

tagged by @pepsi-maxwell - thank you ❤ I actually had to mull this over for a couple of days... In the end, I went with the ships that gave me the most permanent brain damage. in no particular order.

1. let's get this out of the way: destiel (spn). yes, i used to be a "heller" but it would be hypocrisy if i didn't mention this ship because i dedicated about 9 years of my life to it. it did teach me all i know today about film language and how to read meta etc. boy did i WRITE meta on this... the tragedy of it all and what good it did them in the end (nothing). let's move on........

2. tommyalfie (peaky blinders). it's amazing what fans can make out of 20min of shared screentime in total. well, it's also the gravitas of cillian murphy and tom hardy... put those two in a room together and it's like touching one of those plasma balls... i think it's the fact that they both added so much weight to their respective characters that that relationship became a thing of its own... it's also the constant power playing and the whole "i can be vulnerable in front of you" and the "i see you" thing and the "i don't have to pretend to be someone else with you" thing, yknow... even when i am not actively watching peaky, i often read tommyalfie fics. thank fuck for fanon.

3. macdennis (always sunny). where to start... what a mess. there are times where i wonder if ive just read too many fanfictions and read too many specs and meta posts (back in the day when the fandom was alive on here... back in the gif set days. not the pet cemetery "came back wrong" days) that what i love and long for is just the fanon version of this ship. it's gotten too confusing trying to figure out if rcg are doing anything with it or what they are doing with it or if macdennis is just glob.... but what I, personally love about this ship is the "i can make him worse"/"i'll take care of you"-"it's rotten work"-"not to me. not if it's you" dynamic that mac and dennis have. they know each other in an out. they are toxic for each other. they are co-dependent. they are in denial. they are in the closet. they are out of the closet. they are each other's messes and a mess together. no one can stand it when they are not with each other. it can never be. it already is.

4. hilson/house x wilson (house md). similar to macdennis, what attracts me is the absolute toxic co-dependency. they know each other intimately. they are vulnerable in front of each other and sometimes, they use their knowledge to hurt each other badly. wilson is definitely the "i can make him worse" type. he is house's biggest enabler. one could say he needs to keep him a mess, so he has something to fix. they are both rotten works and they'll take care of each other always. the show isn't even remotely subtle about this. i mean, there is meta stuff but there is also the fact that gay people worked and wrote on the show andd there is dialogue like "I was afraid your wings would melt" and "one day, our friendship will break and it'll just prove your theory that relationships are conditional and you don't need human connection or deserve it or whatever goes on in that rat maze of your brain." - "you've lied enough for me. Maybe I don't wanna push this 'til it breaks." and "if you die, I'm alone." there's also a lot of angst which i love but they simply cannot live without each other and everyone around them knows it, too.

5. jerrykramer (seinfeld). i think there's me and about 10 other people who ship this as a thing. they are my happy place. they had one angsty break up storyline early on and then it's apple pies and butterflies the rest of the series. i could and in fact have written A LOT about them. they are sooo domestic and married with each other, that elaine and george comment on it. whether they walk in on something they feel like they shouldn't have (george. twice.) or they immediately notice when the two had a falling out (elaine). it's my favourite trope - when the people around the characters KNOW. and yes, there's a kiss that totally did not have to be there but there's also little moments when jerry takes kramer to his vacation home in tuscany or to award shows as his plus one when he totally could've brought a date... just go through my tag. (there's also the fact that jerry seinfeld and michael richards were absolutely enchanted by each other...)

[the-firebird69]

Breaking Away 1979 Trailer | Dennis Quaid | Daniel Stern

And this movie is going to come up pretty soon he is an obnoxious pig and a massive loser is making fun of everybody for doing these things and he's going to be stuck in some sort of permanent cycle riding his bicycle around and being a street person there's a there's a bunch of movies that he's going to be doing that he's doing this in saying it's cover and all that and we don't care if you're in a trash can people still have to see what you're up to I mean you're a moron we watch the best and they did what you're doing you're stupid okay George himself was on the street in Los Angeles bothering our son

Thor Freya

I exposed him and now everybody's exposing me he says I work for him almost directly and hurts but that's what it is I can't take over his body and win anything is all listen to stupid things and they check the stuff and then he has a huge induction process to go through and has to be number one and he's blessed says and his wife says it too. And a sense of humor is something else we really have to get off it but I don't think I can and he thinks it's really stupid and despicable but mostly he is laughing at it and that's how it's getting through because part of it is about him and he's riding a stupid bike around and he's trying to figure out what it means when he's not going to be riding a motorcycle and he won't be by riding a bicycle like that

Trump

Will you understand the question it's a red bike and he's going to be going past trucks with it and people will try and get him to admit stuff like having for years it's nothing new and you know that stuff and we know that there's another aspect of it and it's very rude and inspired buddies who are messing with everybody and that would be the Mac proper and what they're saying is we don't have room for you you're going to have to ride your bicycle but what he says is usually there's some sort of direct analogy to some sort of vehicle we looked at the bicycle and we know which one it is it's the Fuji and it was his when he was Ian Blanchard and is this goofy gooky guy who is a wimp with braces and nobody paid attention to and he's running top of the line bikes back then and going real fast and they're saying it too that he doesn't know how to do it and he won't know how to do it and that kind of stuff and he's asking to what and it doesn't want to ride a motorcycle in the street it's a waste of damn time and he's not really allowed to by himself and we don't like it either it's very dangerous let's hope they're not trying to precondition him because he's not going to do it and he says he's trying to get him to do it as John the idiot it's not true and he says all sorts of dumb s*** but really he says a lot of stupid things and he still doesn't get a lot of the stuff and it's terrible but really we know what it is it's a particular bike

Mac daddy

It's like this bike he's been talking about and it might be a manufactured by us and it's a long time ago in the future from now and he doesn't know about it yet and they want him to go buy Mac when he's in truck mode to try and get back to threaten him and I don't think so and our son is waving or something it's all very symbolic and it means that he has a new e-bike or something and it goes real fast and the laws are less restrictive because they think it's dangerous for people that's why they're restrictive and they lighten up on it and it goes around quite a bit after this posting and the idiots try to get going and the max don't want it now and they can see them locking it so that's why this idiot is riding the bike and he's got the outfit on from earlier and he rides by Max and it's symbolic Mac acts a little like them and they're working on it kind of I can't seem to get stuff to go so the sun says it can't go that fast because they'll draw too much attention

-the actual analogy it's one of our bikes it's an e-bike and the winner takes it for a ride supposedly but he's really saying for our son to take it for a ride and for his people to buy it and to use it by going fast... And it puts it out there and everybody likes it but not BG he ends up running like hell and that's John remillard and it's not writing ours even though people know which one it is Ithink they do. His real mad so there's another movie

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[boysareouttonight]

saw someone in the replies saying that this comes from dennis manipulating women into dating him and like, from the little knowledge i have about this subject every sociopath is manipulative but not every manipulative person is a sociopath/psychopath? otherwise we would call every misogynist one. also the fact that dennis got sa'd as a teenager shaped and forever changed the way he perceived women, wanting to hurt them back and be in control and prove to himself and others this didn't affect him at all. we have to remember sunny is a sitcom before anything else and they have those recurring jokes through the seasons so ofc they flirt with the idea of dennis being a psychopath/serial killer but bc that's the joke!!! that he wants to be perceived as one but he's actually not. kinda like mac saying he's straight and then having several moments where it was clear he wasnt. like op said he's a loser he's insecure he's whiny. and so fucking pathetic too. yes psychopaths can experience feelings of anger which dennis expresses a lot through the show but he also expresses other emotions and there are crucial episodes to back this up. we cant forget he was canonically diagnosed with bpd too so his emotions fluctuate a little bit (like in charlie's mom has cancer). sociopaths usually don't wanna be perceived as such they mask themselves into society while dennis wants to be perceived as one sooo bad, bc then no one can hurt him. and every time he shows genuine concern or has a protective instinct towards someone he cares about (or someone he doesn't even know like that little girl abby) without getting anything in return, he tries to brush it off or pretend like it was about him. i genuinely think dennis is the most sensitive one, he feels too much. usually in a situation dennis is the one to get more worked up about smth that can be emotional, one of the examples being in gang tends bar dennis is the only one to have a breakdown. even tho all of them were have been stuck together all those years with no one to spend valentine's day with. dealing with feelings and trauma is a complicated thing for dennis which leads to him to stuff everything deep inside him until he can't take it anymore. glenn LITERALLY said on a interview that the things dennis does comes from a place of deep insecurity i'm quoting him here. there are so many contradictions about him that cancel the idea of him being a sociopath i can't wrap this idea around my head and idk how not everyone agrees.

i genuinely Do Not understand the dennis is a sociopath thing. like even watching the show at its most surface level like im stoned out of my mind put that one danny devito meme show on level SO much of what makes dennis’ character funny is him being insecure and whiny and emotional. WHERE are people getting sociopath serial killer from why is that such a widely accepted headcanon

[sunnykeysmash]

(ignore my main url my side-blog is gayasslovestory) BUT any particular thoughts on the conversation about identity and what dee’s line in that clip 👀

Well I don't have transcripts at hand yet so I don't know exactly what was said, but that whole scene felt very on the nose, Mac and Dennis frame Dee as she says that thing about falling in love and shutting up, she even looks at Dennis, and Dennis only starts lashing out about identity the moment Mac starts talking about being gay and going to bang dudes etc, but I'm sure any talk about identity is very irritating to him, as the person who has to constantly make up fake personas in order to keep up the lies he tells about himself. Notice he was very angry about "liars" as well, which to me is clear projection on his part.

For Dennis, it doesn't matter what you actually do, identity is what you convince yourself you are, even when actions and feelings don't match that. That reflects Jumper in a way, "feelings just get in the way" and all, but I think he's very conflicted about it, as well, because if tends bar is any indication, what he wants more than anything else in the entire world is to be known, for people to understand him ("because I know you, man"!). It's a very recurring thing that the gang misinterprets him, think making dennis reynolds a murderer, or speaks wrongly on his behalf, think tends bar and also the mongrel scene as the recent example, and he's kinda stuck in that. And it's also not the first time rcg uses something like covid to symbolize feelings, in chop, frank's distress is presented with belching (*sighs* oh, my peepee poopoo show, back at it again).

So for Dennis, I think, it doesn't matter what you actually do, because identity is how you're perceived as, so might as well play into that and be the best version of it you can manage, to him it's just as much a mask as wearing someone else's skin. And it's scary to step out of that, who even is Dennis?

And also, if mac is so obsessed about "what things are" and dennis "doesn't care for labels", there would be a conflict there if they got together, over how to define what's between them.

Anyway, I think it's a really good sign that they're tackling Dennis' identity in the first place, it was a long time coming! If dennis actually gets over his denial then that's a great thing for us in terms of macdennis.

As for what I meant by "menopause era" for Dennis, since I think that fits into this and I wanna talk about it also,

So irrationality, hot flashes (or fever), mood swings, paranoia. It checks out imo.

And now that Mac is hanging with Gus, who knows. But yeah, just wanted to bring that up. Anyway I don't really have many thoughts about it because I don't have the transcripts of the new episodes yet and I really need to read the dialogue. I will get back to you on this once I do.

[denniisa]

it feels like all the air has been knocked out of his lungs when mac says the reason he loved johnny was because it reminded him of him. dennis. of course he loved johnny for those reasons. dennis had been incredibly careful when curating 'johnny', making sure that they were different enough, similar in the ways that mattered. it had worked, his plan worked. he still felt so empty.

eyes watch as mac paces around the apartment and he stands frozen, unsure of what to do or what to say that would fix this. he couldn't fix this, he couldn't. and all of a sudden mac stops walking and he punches the wall. dennis can't help but jump at the sudden action, eyes only widening when he continues to punch over and over again at the newly exposed stud. hands reach out in front of him, wanting to reach towards mac, grab him by the shirt, yank him away before he hurt himself.

he doesn't though, he just stands still and listens. always, it was always him. and it was always mac. he loved him, god of course he did. he had for so many years. but he couldn't admit it, couldn't own up. he had to shy away from it, stuff it deep down. people always got hurt when he decided to show his true self, right ?? then why was mac hurting so much now ?? the lies were supposed to help, they were supposed to fix it. this wasn't fixing anything.

dennis finally forces his body to move when mac rests his arms against the wall, taking a few small steps forward towards him. "because i hurt you, mac. we're doing this because i hurt you." he says quietly, drawing in a deep breath, trying to keep it together and keep up the courage to keep actually talking about how he really fucking felt. "i don't know why i doubt it ... doubt you. i just do. it doesn't make sense, my mind doesn't make sense. not to you, not to anyone, especially not to me."

he takes another step forward, not wanting to get too close, but wanting to be closer, just a little bit. he's not sure what for, to either comfort himself or comfort mac. "i love you, mac. i have for ... shit ... i don't know, i don't. so long. and it scares me because i ... i shouldn't. i shouldn't love you. not because of you, okay. don't ... don't blame yourself. because of me. i don't know how to love, clearly." he lets out a weak laugh, blinking his eyes. he can't fucking cry now. "you don't deserve this, you don't deserve me. you ... you deserved someone like johnny. someone perfect. and i can't ... give that to you. it scares me, okay ?? i'm just ... scared."

Mac wanted to laugh. He wanted to laugh so hard he cried. He wanted to grab Dennis' stupid face and kiss him or punch him or...God, maybe all of the above.

He didn't move toward them, though. The distance between them right now was safe, and as much of a relief as Dennis' confession was, there was still so much turmoil they'd have to wade through before they saw the other side.

How long had he wanted this? How many years had he spent dreaming, no, praying for Dennis to reciprocate even the smallest gestures Mac had made toward him. This was all he had ever asked for, and...this was how it came about?

"The reason I loved Johnny was because he reminded me of you." Mac admitted softly. "He was...all the things I loved about you. He was bold, he was lively, he...he was passionate and...and the only thing that was different about you two was that he loved me, too. So if you're saying-if what I think you're saying..."

Mac ran his hands over his face, turning on his heel and pacing in a circle as he tried to find the words. God, Dennis was such an asshole. This wasn't meant to be so complicated. Why did they need a buffer like Johnny, why did Mac's feelings have to get all wrapped up in a man who never existed when the man he always loved was right here in front of him telling him what he always wanted to hear, and...

As his fist collided with the wall, the small string of curses that left Mac's lips were mumbled out, as he shook his hand to wipe off what drywall dust was left on it. He stared, blankly, at the fist-shaped hole he had left, punching at the exposed stud repeatedly as a sob wracked his body.

"Still, still, still? Really, Dennis? Always! It was always you! It was never anyone but you, Johnny was you, for Christ's sake, Dennis! No matter what I do or how hard I try, it's always you! I'm always coming back to you! You, you, you, you. Fuck, Dennis! How-How can there even be a doubt in your stupid little mind by this point, I can't fucking help myself! Every time I think, I think that's it, and we're done, I always find myself right back where I started, and that is-"

He punched the stud again. Ow.

"That is so, so, moronically in love with you, Dennis. You, yes, you. Not Johnny, not any-fucking-one else. And I'm so-pissed, I'm so pissed! That we even need to be having this conversation in the first place!"

Mac folded his arms against the wall, resting his forehead against his forearm as he took a deep breath.

"It was always you, man. I don't know why we're even doing this."

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[knifelesbianjo]

hi ivi i am BACK to talk about macdennis AGAIN. (also i missed you hiii how are you????) i think. the cold open is mac coming into the bar like "i have news i have wonderful news" but it's just dee. charlie and frank have a b plot that i haven't figured out yet. i'm thinking of this as i type it. and dennis is. not there. for reasons. and dee is like!!!! i want to hear about your news!!!! and mac is like. well. i don't really care about you knowing. but i'm a cunt so. there has been a Development. and dee is like. About What. and mac is like. i cannot tell. i promised. and then they argue and yell and talk over each other bc i Want to see rob and kaitlin interact on screen i miss it. anyway cold open "mac and dennis kissed". we cut back to mac and dee screaming and now charlie and frank come in and set up the b plot. idk about the middle of the episode. i think it should be one of those eps where the entire gang is involved actually. they're all trying to figure out what macs news is AND why dennis is missing. dee is with mac and charlie and frank are trying to find dennis. i know that i want dennis to be like. no we did not kiss. because then we will get macs big sad puppy dog eyes. (iconic). and then at the end of the episode we get a small quiet moment. very minimal dialogue. i am realizing that i want them to somewhat imitate the seddie icarly first kiss. for the softness and quietness and vulnerability. i am a sucker for a small quiet scene where the abrasive loud one seeks out the other one as an apology and they have a heart to heart with meaningful but limited dialogue. this is all i have atm. i might be back later. not rereading this! and Ask.

okay okay i have thought about this more. it's a flashback style episode. we are figuring out how it came to be that mac and dennis kissed. and then it cumulates into the soft seddie style kiss. this way we get a dennis monologue (like my other post) being horrible to mac. but also we get them being soft so dennis can be pathetic. the concept of "what do we deserve" comes up in both conversations. when dennis is being mean it's like "we don't deserve to happy" and then in the confession kiss scene it's like "i want to try to be happy with you". so they don't actually kiss. so now the "big news" from mac in the beginning of the episode needs to be not actually that they kissed. i want them to have a good first kiss :( not an evil one :( i am still workshopping

hiii Jess!!! I missed you 🥰

first whatever excuse to have mac and dee interacting again is amazing to me, i need their insanity, I honestly think they have a lot of potential together but it gets mostly ignored (or turned into mac insulting dee which is NOT fun, I want them insulting each other but also doing things together bc they are both insane)

and honestly dennis missing after they kiss is very him bc he does not know how to deal with it and then he being all 'we did not kiss' in front of the gang also fits, then to it being cut to them actually having a soft convo about it, which is lovely and gets to me. But also this would start a secret relationship type of thing between them and like I'm conflicted about it 🤔 like it has potential but also for me if they are going to do the secret relationship thing it has to be before we figure it out, after I don't know if it would feel right 🤔 but also might be, I don't know, maybe they can pull it of in a way that doesn't feel forced or too coward 🤔

now I love the idea of it being a flashback!!! honestly they haven't used flashbacks much through the show and I think that's sad bc I think they have much potential (literally 'who got dee pregnant' my BELOVED) so very on board with this, and even more if it's the whole gang making up their own flashbacks each one thinking how it could go.

No actually I love this last thing, like I think the macdennis kiss should have the whole gang involved, each one with their own version of it (dee seeing dennis extremely pathetic, Charlie seeing mac being the one pathetic, frank idk how honestly, i just know it feels homophobic but also would be fun, and even mac's and dennis own one, which are the most similar but there's a clear difference, and so in a way we never find out how it actually happened but we can picture enough and have our own theory) anyways love this love this, gonna be thinking about it!!!

[adamsdice]

I don't know if it was deliberate or not, but the sequence in which the gang abandons Charlie is quiiiite interesting to me. Especially when you take into consideration that Frank, the person that arguably cares about Charlie the most, was last to do so.

Dee leaves first.

In all honesty I expected that. Their relationship seemed to have been kind of declining since "Time's up for the gang" . . . and welp. yeah.

Then it's Mac

Which I didn't fully expect to be honest. I figured Dennis would leave first, especially with him complaining about his back for most of the way + slacking off for a bit. But nope, Mac left first. It was because they lied to him 'bout the whole Irish thing though; which, while self-involved, is kind of understandable when you take into account who you're dealing with here.

Then Dennis

Get ready for the ramblings of a Charden enthusiast okay. Like I said earlier, I expected him to leave after Dee. But for "some reason" he didn't. He actually stayed much much longer than I figured he would. He's arguably the most vain and narcissistic in the group. So why stay with Charlie even if it was actively hurting him? It's not like he shows him a ton of distinct affection throughout the show or anything. Or ANYTHING.

And hell, he even left because of how bad his back had gotten. You tell me what this says. GO ON. I won't go on any further because if I start talking about those two I WILL NOT SHUT UP.

Then Frank.

This one's clear enough. Charlie and Frank's bond is probably the clearest in the group. So it's no wonder he sticks around mostly to the end. Not just to 'prove his worth' to Charlie like he said he would, but because he genuinely cares.

[unfixablebabyyy]

pt 2

There's something wrong with me. I haven't really been sleeping which is doing a number on the bags under my eyes. I keep getting these crazy headaches. I think I'm breaking out- I caught a blemish in the mirror last night and I'm certain it's gotten worse. Unfortunately, it's all your fault. The last woman I slept with was in and out of my mind faster than I was in and out of her, but you are driving me absolutely insane. Mac has started to notice, which is goddamn annoying. He keeps looking at me like I have some kind of disease, asking me stupid questions, constantly hovering. Maybe it's because I stopped eating. Or maybe it's because I stopped taking my meds. Either way, he knows something is up, but he can't find out, and neither can Charlie, and absolutely not Frank. You're too sweet to keep a secret from Dee and, no offense, but quite frankly, I don't think you could- you're not a very good liar. And if Dee knows we slept together, what if she told you about all the weird and horrible things I've done? She's been oddly quiet about the whole thing. I can't even think about it without feeling nauseous. What if she told you about the system? Or the binders? Or the tapes? Or all that stuff hidden in the side panel in the trunk of my car? I'm not stupid, I know that stuff is more than off-putting- it's incriminating. I need to calm down. I really need a Valium but I forgot to get my prescription filled- my mind has been occupied by one thing: you.

It's been about a week since we had sex. I made you dinner, and I did my homework- I knew exactly what to say, exactly when to laugh, exactly how and where to touch you. I like the music you listen to and the movies you watch, or at least that's what I made you think when I had it all queued up, with notes on your favorite parts. We're compatible, see? I drank too much, which was stupid of me, but you didn't seem to mind. It all happened so fast and intense and I was in control right up until I wasn't. As I watch the tape for the 500th time I swear I can pinpoint the exact moment you slipped into my brain and made a permanent home there. That night I did the unthinkable and actually allowed you to stay over and when I woke up the next morning with you lying beside me I was shocked to realize that I actually hated the thought of you leaving. And when you did finally leave, I felt so empty it made me sick.

Usually, once I've been with someone intimately, my desire for them fizzles into boredom within a few hours or so, but I feel like I want you more now than I ever did before. I need to feel your hands on my body, your breath against my neck, your lips on mine. I need to taste you again. I want to own you, put you on a leash or handcuff you to my bed and leave you there so that I know you're all mine.

I need to shower. I need to eat something. I need my meds. My hands are starting to tremor and when I stand up my head rushes and I almost blackout. Is this what it feels like? I'd almost forgotten. I need to focus. The last time I felt even remotely this way for someone, it ended in alimony and a murder accusation. I pick up my phone from my bedside table. 5:17 PM.

"Hey. Stop by the bar if you're out tonight, drinks are on me." Send. I groan. Get it together. I should really go and open the bar. Can't forget to stop by the pharmacy.

It takes me two hours to get ready because I can't decide what to wear or which cologne you might like more. The uncertainty is making me so anxious I forget to grab something to eat on the way out.

"Dennis! Can I come with you?"

I think Mac is yelling at me as I bound down the stairs, but I don't really care- I can't handle him right now. Outside the sun is getting low, painting the sidewalk with shadows. When I get to my car and slide into the driver's seat, I immediately feel a little better. The warmth of the day coupled with the smell of the interior lull the chaos into a low buzz. I inhale through my nose and close my eyes. Relax. I turn on the Range and the radio comes to life. I cringe, resist the urge to cover my ears with my hands as the chorus of "Hungry Like the Wolf" blasts at full volume. I snatch the dial and turn it down. Any other time I would've loved a little Duran Duran, but right now, it's jarring and abrasive. I pull out a Jimmy Buffet CD and stick it into the slot. As I back out of a parallel park, I begin to sing along, "I spent four lonely days in a brown LA haze, and I just want you back by my side." That's right, focus. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar.

I almost blow up at the pharmacist over the fact that it takes twice as long to get my prescription, except that she looks at me like she knows me, and not in a good way. She's tall, with dark hair and chocolate eyes, and I have to admit she does look a little familiar, but she's not you, so it doesn't matter. When she hands me my prescription and I still don't recognize her, she seems irritated.

Back in the Range, I pop open the cap and dump the pills in my hand. I pick out one and swallow it dry. The rest of the medication go back into the bottle, with the cap twisted tight, and I'm off to the bar, 20mph over the speed limit. When I finally turn onto Paddy's block, I clock Dee's car across the street from the entrance. I should have never given her that damn key. But then again, I've been so distracted lately, maybe I left it unlocked. Thank god the Valium is starting to kick in, otherwise I would be boiling over right now. Lucky her, I guess. I still slam the door when I get out, but before I enter the building, I roll the tension out of my shoulders and take a deep breath.

Inside, Dee is sitting at the bar, facing the door, with a heavy pour of wine in her hand and a smug grin plastered on her sharp face. Our entire lives, she's never bested me in anything other than being born 3 minutes before me, so her confidence right now is unnerving.

"Oh come on, really? Have you just been sitting here alone all day getting drunk?" a successful attempt at knocking her down a peg. Whatever you've told her (or she's told you) has inflated her ego dangerously.

"What?! Fuck you, I'm not drunk, I'm trapping you," she snaps back.

"Trapping me?" I can't help but laugh. It's so easy to get under her skin. I step behind the bar and take a clean glass to the tap, pouring myself a beer, preparing myself for what's to come.

"What do you want with my friend you little freak?" she blurts out, as clumsy with her words as she is with her lanky body.

"You have friends?" the drugs are doing their job. I feel like I'm beginning to even out, gain some control.

Dee, on the other hand, is seeing red, "You know who I'm talking about, don't play stupid with me. You couldn't just bang her and be done?" So then she knows I invited you.

"Honestly, Dee, I don't know who you're talking about," I take a sip of my beer and lean on the bar.

"Oh yeah? Then why don't I just text her and tell her not to come to Paddy's tonight?" Bitch. She smiles when she sees the mask come off and I glare at her.

"Whatever," my jaw clenches a little, but I try to maintain my posture.

"So? What are you planning?" she asks, and I roll my eyes.

"You always assume the worst," to be fair, she's also seen the worst.

"Yeah, because you haven't fucked the same girl twice since high school," that's probably true, "So what is it? You trying to prove some point to Mac? Did you and Frank make some gross bet about 'who could fuck Dee's friend first'? I mean what are you up to?" she squints at me, trying desperately to see inside my brain. I just shrug.

"Nothing," she should know I'm telling the truth- it's incredibly difficult to lie to your twin. But apparently I absorbed most of her brain in the womb.

"Dennis."

"Deandra," I mock, my patience wearing thin. Before she can open her big mouth, I say, "It's just drinks, ok? I had fun last time and I figured we could all hang out. That's all."

The longer the silence lingers, the more she begins to believe me until her eyes go wide, and she gasps, "Oh my God!" Suddenly, the door crashes open and in walk Frank, Mac, and Charlie. My stomach drops. I shoot her a pleading look, but she's ecstatic.

"Don't fuck this up for me," I whisper through clenched teeth, but it's too late. Dee turns to the gang.

"Dennis has a crush!" she shouts. The guys go silent. Mac's face twists as he cocks his head to the side.

"On a girl?" Frank doesn't look convinced.

"No he doesn't," Mac says incredulously. Good boy.

"Yeah, come on, Dee, what are you saying?" Charlie laughs.

"Shut up, Dee. If Dennis had a crush I would know about it, right Dennis?" Mac flashes his puppy eyes at me.

"Yeah, for sure," I reply, and Mac gives Dee an 'I told you so' look. The wind is absolutely sucked out of her sails.

"No, no, guys, do you remember my friend from the other day?" she desperately tries to hold their attention, but they've already stopped caring. We exchange glances, but that's the last of it.

"Dennis, pour me a glass of that slippery drink," Frank says as he climbs onto a barstool. My nerves are too fried for this shit.

"How am I supposed to know what that is?"

Frank waves his hand, "I don't know, Charlie always makes it for me."

"Oh good, I'm sure it's not something poison, then."

"No, no, Dennis, see, the Borax gives it this really nice sweet metallic taste-" Charlie begins to explain, but I raise my hand to cut him off.

"You know what, Charlie? I'm going to stop you right there because Borax is the stuff we use to clean the bar towels." I turn back to Frank, "I'm not making that- you're getting a beer."

"Oh, me too, please, Dennis!" Mac chimes in as he squeezes past Dee to sit on the stool beside her, nearly knocking her off her seat.

A few hours and a couple of drinks later, the door to Paddy's opens and in you walk with a burst of cool night air. There's the clatter of pool balls as Mac stands from his shot and I smile at you from the table, leaning on my pool stick, the medication and the alcohol bringing me right back down to where I need to be.

"Hey! Look who it is!" Charlie, who is drunk enough to be slurring his words, waves you over. "Wanna see something crazy I found in the alley today?" Before he can show you whatever it is, Dee pulls you aside and shoves some strong cocktail she made into your hand. I need to intercept.

"You want another drink?" I ask Mac to cover myself. I want to sprint over to you but I need to have self control.

"Nah," thankfully, he's busy lining up and practicing his next shot. As I make my way over I can feel my heart beating against my rib cage like a trapped moth.

"Hey," I hug you, kissing you on the cheek as I lean in. You're so warm and your hair smells like shampoo.

"Hi," your face feels hot against my cheek and when I pull away I can see that it's starting to turn pink. Dee looks like she's about to throw up.

"You wanna play?" I ask, motioning to the pool stick in my right hand, "Mac and I just finished a game."

"Yeah, sure," you look so cute and you don't even have to try- though it's obvious you have. It's reassuring. You want to impress me which means Dee couldn't have told you much.

"I'll be right over, I was just gonna grab another beer," I point to the abomination Dee gave you, "You want something else?"

You blush and look over your shoulder to make sure Dee isn't paying attention before leaning in, "A beer would be great," you whisper. God, you're so sweet, so careful about my sister's feelings. I nod and give you a little wink and when you brush past me to join Mac at the pool table I'm hit with a wave of your perfume and it's just as intoxicating as the first time.

"What did you tell her?" my face is inches from her ear, causing Dee to jump and drop her phone onto the bar.

She rolls her eyes and huffs, "Nothing, weirdo. Your stupid little secret is safe with me... for now."

Great. She wants to keep me nervous, like she's got me wrapped around her finger, but she never will. That information is all I need from her. I grab the beers and head back to the pool table, ignoring her glare. There you're bent over the felt, taking notes from Mac who thinks he's giving you good advice.

"Now when you go to hit the ball, if you put your hips into it, it's like an extra boost of power," he's saying as I step up behind you.

"I don't think that's right, Mac," you reply.

"Well then how do you do it?" he challenges. I cant stop staring at your ass.

You line up your shot and strike the cue ball. It hits a stripe that ricochets off the side of the table before missing the pocket by a fraction of an inch. "Fuck," you mutter.

"See? You needed that extra push!" Mac thrusts his hips as he tries to prove his point.

"Mac, you look and sound ridiculous," I finally weigh in, setting our beers on a nearby table. "Here," I prop my stick up against the table and pick up the cue ball, placing it in its original position. "Try again," I say, and you obey. You bend back over the table and aim your stick at a different stripe ball. Such a good girl. My fingers slowly press into your hips, tilting them forward as the heel of my hand presses gently into the small of your back. I nudge your feet apart so that you're standing square. I have to step back or you'll feel how hard I'm getting. You take another shot, and the stripe falls into the pocket with a satisfying crack.

"Whatever," Mac stomps over to the bar, leaving the two of us to start our game.

I give an approving nod that I know goes straight to your panties, "That was pretty good." You lean back against the table and cross your arms over your chest, which squishes your breasts together, and you wore something low cut like a little slut. I want to take you out back and pick up where we left off, "Why don't we make this a little more interesting?" You raise an eyebrow, "How about loser goes home with the winner?"

"Hm," you match my grin, your eyes dancing, "Fine. Deal." And I'm back on. You want me, and any doubt or fear I'd held onto despite the Valium and the alcohol vanishes instantly. I begin to gather the balls for the break.

"Just out of curiosity, what do you think my chances are here?"

Without looking up, I chuckle and reply, "Slim to none." I then lift up the rack and gesture, "After you."

Ten minutes later, you lose. Of course.

"Good game," I round the table to lean next to you. You're so close I can feel the heat of your body against me and if it weren't for my friends and the accusations this afternoon, I'd kiss you. "So, did you wanna leave now, or...?" You laugh.

"I thought you were buying drinks tonight?" you challenge. It's only 10:00- the night is still young and you want a hunt. I'm more than happy to give it to you.

"Fine," the words leave my mouth faster than I can catch them, "I suppose if you're willing to release your inhibitions, I'm not going to argue." That was a bizarre thing to say. I'm still off my game, unable to reel it in because every time I look at you I think about the way you made me feel that night. To my surprise, you just giggle.

"If you slip me something, I'll pretend I didn't see," you shouldn't joke about that- I just might.

"Hey you guys wanna do some shots?" Frank shouts across the bar.

"Looks like you're up, bartender," you bat your eyelashes at me before walking over to the bar to join the rest of the gang, hips swaying, making my mouth water.

As the evening wears on, one by one they drop like flies. Charlie is the first to go- passed out in the men's restroom, an open can of paint at his side. Next is Frank, of course, sprawled over Charlie's lap and snoring like a chainsaw. Dee and Mac last until around 2AM, but after Dee throws up into the ice machine, it takes every ounce of composer for me not to lose my mind on her. You might find that unattractive. Instead I suggest she goes home, heavily implying that it's not a suggestion at all. Mac is the last to go, but he doesn't leave without asking if I need help closing about a million times and throwing you an odd look. When the door shuts and the two of us are finally alone, you lean over the bar, and I can feel your eyes on me as I wipe down the counter with an old bar towel.

"So, Dee seems to think there's an expiration date on our... whatever you wanna call this." That dumb bitch. I bet she told you all about my penchant for fleeting affairs. I bet she told you I'm a womanizer or a misogynist or just a fucking asshole. I bet she told you you were too good for me, and maybe she's right, but fuck her.

"Dee doesn't think- if she did that would imply that she has a brain," that was too mean. I can tell because you don't respond right away and I'm afraid that maybe you think I'm annoyed at you and not my idiot sister.

"If there is, that's fine," you continue carefully, "I would just like to be in the know."

"My sister believes I'm incapable of having any kind of genuine feelings toward someone I'm sleeping with," I have a feeling you'd appreciate honesty over any lie I could conjure up, even if it's a good one. You're clever. Sometimes I feel like you can see right through me and it scares the shit out of me.

You pause. "Is she right?"

"No," I've never been so sincere with a woman and it's making my palms sweat. You hold back a grin and I feel exposed, my stomach clenches, and I have to take the wheel or I'm going to start getting all nervous. I bite down on the inside of my cheek. "Alright," I pick up my jacket from behind the bar and pull my keys out of the pocket, "You wanna get out of here?"

"Absolutely."

You wait on the sidewalk as I turn off the 'Open' sign and lock the doors. Tossing the jacket into the back seat of my Range Rover, I round to your side and open the passenger door for you. As you step up to slide into the car, you lean up and kiss my cheek and I feel my entire body go numb.

"What a gentleman," you grin and bite your lip and I want to spank you but I don't because you just called me a gentleman.

We share a cigarette on the way to the apartment despite my rule against it in the car- I can't help myself, I need to taste your mouth. You tell me all about the week you had and I react as if I don't know- as if I haven't been following you around this entire time. As I slowly pull up to the building, I look up at my window where I catch a glimpse of Mac as he flips on the kitchen light and walks past. Shit. As I park the car, I figure the best I can do is bring you upstairs and hope Mac sees it as an easy fallback- if I could get Dee's friend once, might as well get her again while she's around, right? That cover story would have to do.

You follow me into the building and up the stairs, pausing at the door as I sort through the keys. Just as I touch the key to the lock, the door jerks open.

"Oh thank God- I heard you coming down the hallway- hey can you help me-" Mac is breathless as he speaks, but when his eyes fall on you he abruptly stops. "Uh, hey." He smiles at you to mask his confusion.

"Long time, no see," you joke and he lets out a short laugh before glancing at me. I glare back at him, challenging him to choose his words carefully.

"Yeah... So what are you guys up to tonight?" Wrong. I clench my jaw. What do you think?

"We were just going to go watch a movie," I squint at Mac, hoping he'll get the hint to shut up and go away.

"Oh, cool, well... have fun," Mac looks for approval, but I deny him the satisfaction, brushing past him and pulling you along until we're both in my bedroom behind a locked door. The reality of having you alone in here is indescribable. It's all nerves and appetite in the dim blue light. It all feels so good in the dark.

I'm willing to behave, but as I move towards the television, your body collides into mine, your lips on my neck, teeth grazing my skin. I already like this game more than any other we've played.

"Are you gonna fuck me tonight, daddy?" your voice in my ear sends chills down my arms. Your generation is so needy, and I knew you were dangerous when you let me come close to choking you in the alley that night, but I've been looking through your laptop when you leave it at home, your phone when you were sleeping the night I claimed you. I've seen your search history, the things you watch at 3AM when you're lonely in bed and undoubtedly thinking of me. You're depraved.

"Oh yeah, kitten," my fingers weave through the hair at the base of your skull. I tug hard and you gasp, chin tilted upward, throat exposed. You shiver when I run my tongue from your collarbone to the curve of your jaw. I nip your earlobe before pushing you away roughly.

You stumble back and bite your lip, waiting for a command. It's been two weeks since we met, and one intimate encounter and you're already so eager to obey. God, you're perfect. "Take your clothes off," our eyes are locked, and I don't let you look away. It's almost sacrilegious that you're still fully clothed- here in my room, you belong naked. Always. You pull your shirt over your head and reach behind for your bra. "No," my voice stops you on a dime, "Slower," I demand as I step back and sit down on the edge of my bed.

From here, I watch the way your breath hitches when the cups of your bra brush your nipples as it slides down your arms and falls to the floor, the way you rub your thighs together before pushing your jeans to your ankles, the way you look at me- standing there, in just your underwear, exposed- like a fawn in the soft glow of the city night that filters through the window.

"Come here," you look like you want to jump into my lap, but you're being so disciplined with me. And why wouldn't you be? I'm your elder, I command respect, and it's my job to teach you manners. You slowly walk over and straddle my hips before planting yourself on my thighs, your hands pressed against my chest.

I wonder if you can feel my entire body buzzing beneath you. You've been waiting for this, too. I can tell. You're absolutely ravenous with it. Usually I would find this kind of behavior to be slightly endearing if not pathetic, but I want you so bad it's only driving me further down the rabbit hole. You're allowing me to control you and it's like it's the only thing I've ever truly wanted. I wonder how far you'll let me go. Not tonight. I want you to trust me- I /need/ you to trust me. So for now I'll play nice. If you want daddy to fuck you, then I will. I'll make you think I love you, princess.

I slip a hand between us and press my index and middle finger to your clothed cunt. It's already soaked through the fabric. I watch your pupils blow out as I push your panties aside and touch you, dipping both fingers into your soft, wet folds and sliding them up to meet your clit. You let out a soft mewl and I have to remind myself to breathe. Usually it's all about me, and why wouldn't it be? I'm the man after all. But I need you to know how good I can make you feel so that it hurts even more when I teach you what pain really is. I'm going to make you cum over and over again in every way I can possibly think of, and then, I'm going to deprive you. I can't wait to watch the light slip out of your eyes when you realize the fun is over, that you're mine, that your only purpose is to please me.

I can't help myself- without warning, I plunge my fingers into your tight little hole. You rise, yelp, jerk away at the sudden intrusion, but I'm much stronger than you, and an arm around your waist holds you in place.

"Shh," I swirl my fingers inside of you and you cringe, but this time, you stay seated like a good girl. You like it when I hurt you. I reward you with patience- pumping my fingers in and out of you slowly, gently spreading them as I go, stretching you out. You moan and slump into me, your face to my neck, planting lazy kisses as I work on your pussy. I feel like I'm going to black out. My clothes are suffocating. When I pull my hand away from your heat, you whine. I wrap both arms around you and flip you onto your back so that I'm on top of you, my knees between your legs, arms on either side of your rib cage. I sit up for a moment to remove my shirt, unbuckle my pants. You bite your lip and I reach down and run my thumb along your jaw. You lean in to my touch and when I get to your chin I gently pull your bottom lip from between your teeth. And then the pad of my thumb is pressing down on your tongue.

"You look so pretty," and you do- looking up at me through your eyelashes, sucking on my thumb, body nearly naked beneath me. Nearly. I pull my hand away from your face and nudge your hips. You lift them and I slide your panties down enough for you to relax back into the mattress. As I begin to work the thin fabric down your legs, something comes over me, and I back down off the bed and kneel on the floor. You sit up, watching me, eyes going wide when I grab your ankles and tug you closer. I haven't done this in a really long time. A really long time. I'm not nervous, but my heart is racing.

I pull you a little closer, and this time I'm more gentle. You inhale sharply when I drape your knees over my shoulders and the flutter of my breath hits your glistening cunt. When I look up at you, your eyes lock with mine, and I take the opportunity to slowly lower my head between your thighs. I watch your face as I press the flat of my tongue against your hole and drag it up. You taste so good, better than I'd imagined. Your fingers curl into my hair, and the dull burn in my scalp feels so good, I pull away a little just to feel your grip tighten as you whine and tug me back into you.

I hear you breathe my name as I relearn how to do this. I had been certain there wasn't a thing about sex that you could teach me, yet here we are. And I want to make you feel good. I want to be the best you've ever had. I need to be. So I take it slow, I pay attention to the way your body moves, the sounds you make, the pace of your breath, the rate of your pulse against my mouth.

I pull away for a moment for air, turn my face into your inner thigh and close my teeth around your soft flesh and you gasp and pull my hair so hard my head feels like it's on fire, so instead of letting go, I leave a dark purple hickey in the center of the indentation my teeth made on your skin. You moan and it rattles through me and I'm back to devouring you. I add a finger, then two, then three, and the sounds you're making are absolutely obscene and I think I'm getting you closer.

You squeeze down on my fingers and I swear to god I feel it on my dick. I groan into you and the vibration makes you flutter around me again and I touch myself with my free hand. I might actually cum from this. Your legs start to shake on my shoulders, and I focus on doing everything right as you whimper and moan and white knuckle my sheets.

"Dennis," your voice breaks through our syncopated panting and makes my dick twitch in my hand and if my eyes were open you would see them roll to the back of my head. The pressure is building- I feel your thighs tense against my ears, and I'm beginning to lose my pace on myself- it all feels so overwhelmingly good. I open my eyes to see your chest rising and falling quickly. Like a trapped rabbit. My teeth graze against your flesh and I nip at you lightly, shove my tongue inside of you, replace it with my fingers once again as I suck and bite at your clit. You let out one loud scream before remembering where you are, and sob as you teeter on the edge of climax.

"Daddy, c-can I-" you clench your jaw and knit your brow and it's so cute that you can't even use your words, and it's so cute that you call me daddy, and I'm about to cum, too, so all I can say is:

"Yeah, princess," and you're cumming around my fingers, against my open mouth as I spill out over the carpet and think vaguely about the stain. I thought you tasted good before, but now, I'm ravenous, and I love the way you tremble as I refuse to let up.

A few seconds later, you're cumming again, and if it wasn't for the alcohol and my medication, I would be ready for round two. Instead, I clean you up with my tongue and you scratch my head in sweet little circles as you come down. When your fingers find the space behind my ears my whole body tingles and it's like you've hit some sort of off switch. You giggle when I moan and close my eyes and rest my head against your thigh.

"I always catch you doing this," you take my earlobe between your thumb and forefinger and rub it a little, "What's up with that?" I hum at the familiar feeling coming from unfamiliar hands.

"I've been doing it since I was little," I mumble as you continue to make my brain short circuit, "I do it when I'm nervous," I'm not sure why I told you that part.

"You were doing it at the bar tonight," you comment, and despite the pleasure, my body tenses a little, "Do I make you nervous?"

When I open my eyes and look up at you, you're looking right through me, into my soul. I can't lie.

"Yes," and it makes me crazy. You smile.

"Good. That must mean you really like me."

I roll my eyes and sneak a quick nip to the inside of your thigh where my cheek was resting. You yelp and sit up to smack at me but I'm faster and I'm on top of you, pinning you by the wrists as you laugh. I hate how vulnerable you make me, all twisted up and trapped inside, and I feel like I need to contain you, but my hands on your wrists and my weight on top of you isn't enough. You have invaded every part of me, and it's too much.

"Well?" I can hear the smile in your voice even though my face is buried in your neck.

"Yeah, yeah," I feel like I'm in high school. You're younger than me and here I am blushing into the crook of your shoulder.

"Cool," your fingers slip through the hair at the base of my skull, "I like you, too." And even though I know that, the wave of relief that rolls over me makes me physically relax.

"Then you're staying," it's something between a question and a statement because the adrenaline is still making my head fuzzy. With my ear against your chest I can hear the methodical beat of your heart behind your sternum. I can't remember a time I was this intimate with someone. I want to get up, wash my face, grab you some of my clothes to wear, but my skin feels stuck to yours and your fingers in my hair is turning me off again. The air conditioner hums to life in my window and I feel the goosebumps pick up on your arms, your legs, the cool breeze ghosting over the thin sheen of sweat on your body. I sigh as I pick myself up off of you. I walk over to my dresser and tug open the top drawer, pulling out one of my Penn sweatshirts and toss it to you.

You bring the ball of fabric to your face, close your eyes and inhale. "You know this is mine, now," you say as you pull it over your head and hug yourself. I wish you weren't joking- I would love to see you in my sweatshirt every day for the rest of your life. I hope you wear it home tomorrow. I hope you don't go home at all. Next I throw you a pair of my boxers and when you stand and shimmy them up your legs, they hang so loosely off of your hips that I can almost see the v of your pelvis before you smooth the sweatshirt back down.

You hop back onto the bed and burrow under the covers, and I go to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. By the time I get back, you're sound asleep, your head on my pillow, filling my bed with the smell of your shampoo and body wash and lotion and perfume and you. I'm careful not to disturb you as I make my way into bed, as if you might leave if you wake up. When I wrap my arms around you and pull you into me, you murmur in your sleep and relax into my chest. I probably won't get much rest tonight, so I just enjoy the feeling of your warmth against me and the sound of your breathing as I think of how I'm going to explain this to my friends.

so i just read You and was obsessed w the perspective and also i just love getting a lil peak into dennis's brain so this is a something i wrote idk (also slightly inspired by that one meme of that anime girl lol)

(nsfw, minors DNI)

Dee's taste in... well, everything is absolutely abhorrent, but her taste in people is especially repugnant, which is why I can't fathom why such a striking creature would ever consider her a friend. What do you see in her? She's annoying and rude and abrasive, but you, you're none of those things. And I knew that the second I met you, but I had to be sure. So for the last week or so I've been doing a bit of research and it turns out, you really are just perfect- kind, smart, fun, absolutely stunning. Your only flaw lies in the fact that you're so incredibly naive. You leave your doors unlocked, your windows open, you always walk around the city with headphones on and your face in your phone. You're such an easy target. Don't you know how sick the world can be? But it's ok, it's not your fault- you're prey. Good thing I've got my eye on you. I'll protect you, even if it means you never go outside off leash again.

And now, as you sit across the bar from me, I can smell your perfume and I just want to drown in it, in you. You're half turned away, joking with Charlie as he throws darts, and from your side profile I can make out the tiny bumps of your nipples under your shirt. The past three nights you've come with Dee to the bar, you haven't worn a bra. You're clever, but not subtle. It's beyond cute. When you turn to me, I make sure my gaze lingers on your chest a second too long. I want you to know that I noticed.

"Hey!" I could never get tired of your voice. I need to know what it sounds like after a long night of crying.

"I.D., please."

You giggle. I've been carding you since the first night you came in, it's become a joke between us. Really, I just love reminding myself how young you are. When you hand it over, I brush my fingers against yours. I pretend to examine it and nod approvingly before handing it back. You grin, and this time, you brush your fingers against mine.

"Alright, what can I get you?"

You bite your lip, "Surprise me." Of course you want me to decide for you. I smile. I could surprise you. I could slip you something and we could have a night full of surprises. But not yet.

"You got it." And I know exactly what I'll make you- I saw the cranberry juice in your fridge and the vodka on your counter while doing my research. You were at work.

"Just don't make it too strong." Don't worry, I won't start making them strong until you're at least three in. Your eyes go wide as the song playing over the jukebox changes from some Dire Straits Mac had put on to Depeche Mode. "Personal Jesus". Kind of on the nose, but you won't notice.

"Oh my god I fucking love this song," you're so bubbly, and I know, I saw the album sitting on your record player. That's why I queued it up when Dee mentioned you'd be stopping by.

"I saw them when I was in middle school," don't forget, I'm old enough to be your daddy. I was in my twenties when you were born. You like that- I can tell by the way your cheeks get a little more pink.

"Ugh you're so lucky, I would love it if they toured again," I slide you your drink and smile.

"Well, if they do, I'll take you." Did your dad ever buy you concert tickets? I bet he did.

"Then it's a date," now you're really blushing, "or whatever." You're so sweet it's making me lightheaded. 'Or whatever'? So submissive. I imagine if I were to take a bite out of you I might get a toothache.

"It can be a date," of course it's a date. You bring your drink to your lips and sip and god I wish I could just reach over and taste you. You smile as you set it down.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think maybe you like me," Like you? Last night I was looking at custom dog bowls for the cage I'm going to put you in. I can't sleep at night without touching myself to the thought of cumming inside of you, marking you, making you mine. I don't like you, I want to cut you open and crawl inside of your ribs and hold your heart in my hands.

"You're adorable," I could rip you apart with my teeth. You cross your legs and readjust in your seat. Again, not subtle. I wonder just how wet you are. I mean Jesus Christ, all I have to do is look at you and I can practically hear that little lamb heart beating in your chest, and I can only wear this wool for so long. Sooner or later you're going to see the teeth and the claws. Maybe they'll scare you, maybe not. Either way, it won't matter when they're making you bleed, and judging by how red your face gets when I speak to you, I think you'll bleed easy. Bruise easy, too.

"Do you flirt with all of your sister's friends?" you're starting to get a little bolder. I lean in so that my face is inches from yours, like I have a secret. Your eyelashes flutter.

"No. Only you," I won't play your games, I want my intensity to bring you to your knees. The last couple of days have been fun- toying with you, making you wonder whether my charming smiles and compliments and gentle touches were platonic or not. But it's time to show you who's in charge. You bite your lip. I swear to god I can smell the pheromones on you.

It doesn't take me long to get you drunk enough to slip out the back door with me while everyone else argues over a game of pool. You really are such a lightweight. As the door swings shut behind us, I cup your little face in my hands and press my lips to yours. I don't want to. What I want to do is rip your clothes off and pull you to the ground and watch as the panic begins to rise when I slap my hand over your pretty mouth to muffle you. But that could be dangerous and I have to control myself. You kiss me back and slip your hands under my t-shirt where they roam across my chest, up my shoulders, down my back. It's giving me goosebumps and making it harder not to hurt you. I decide to test my limits. When I push you up against the rough brick exterior, I shove a little too hard and you yelp. But it only seems to make you want me more. So when I lean in to kiss you again, I bite down on your bottom lip, and you moan. Of course you're one of those girls. You love the abuse.

My hand finds your neck and you gasp even though I don't tighten my grip- I just want you to know I could- I want to. Someday I will- I'll choke you so hard and for so long you'll pass out, and then I'll smack your face until you wake up, just to do it again. I'll make you beg for the privilege of breathing. But not tonight. If I ever want to get to that point, I have to stay focused. Besides, just the feeling of my fingertips on your throat is turning you on- I can feel a wet patch forming on my knee where I shoved my leg between yours.

The heat of your body is making your perfume stronger and I feel like I'm going insane, like I'm on the verge of doing something depraved. You push your hand into the waistband of my jeans, then my boxers, and I can't help but growl when your fingers wrap around my cock. As you start pumping your hand up and down, I lose myself for a moment and dig my fingers into your neck. You whine, and when I release, I notice the dark red crescents my nails left on your soft skin.

It's best if I make my hands busy, so I work on the button of your pants as you continue to play with me. I groan into your neck as you squeeze me hard. Pretty soon I'm going to have to pin your wrists to the wall. When you do it again I bite your neck hard enough to serve as a warning and you quickly soften your grip as your jeans inch down just enough. Good girl.

You shiver as the night air breathes down the alley. I can feel your pulse in your cunt as I touch you over your panties. You're so pathetic, you easy little whore. I haven't even bought you dinner and you're already about to let me fuck you stupid next to a dumpster behind my bar. But I won't. I'm gonna make you beg for it. I want you to be so achy and needy for my cock you'll let me do anything to you. I can't fuck you tonight, you haven't earned it.

I sigh and retract my hand. "You're drunk," I press my lips into the crook of your neck and practically feel you deflate against the wall. "Why don't I take you home?"

"Oh," your voice is so sweet and soft, "ok."

I pull away and brush a loose strand of hair from your face before planting a kiss on your lips. Relax, angel. I'm not done with you. You pull your hand out of my pants and the absence almost hurts.

"My car's just down the street, I'll tell Dee you got sick," I brush my thumb across your cheek and peck your forehead before snaking my arm around your waist and leading you down the alleyway. At the end, before we step onto the sidewalk, you stop.

"Did I do something?" Your eyes are so big.

"Consent is really important," I lie, "I just want you to feel safe with me," it'll be all the more enjoyable for me when you realize you're not. My answer seems to satisfy you.

When we get to my Range Rover, you raise an eyebrow, "Nice car."

"Thanks, Frank bought it for me when I got into Penn," it doesn't matter if it's true, now you think I know how to take care of something for a long time. I've established my ability to commit.

"Jesus, isn't that Ivy League?" And just like that, you see that I belong to an elite community of scholars.

"Yeah."

In the Range, you begin looking through my CD collection, pulling out albums you recognize, asking about ones you don't. You like old music, old cars, old men. You mention that your dad introduced you to Christopher Cross, so of course I slip it into the radio and skip to Sailing and tell you it's my favorite, which is true, but I happen to know it's yours, too.

I pretend to be lost and ask you where to go even though I've made the drive at least 20 times in the last week. When we get to your place, I park the car right outside of the familiar front doors and look up at your dark window.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" you spread your legs ever so slightly. So obvious.

"How about I cook you dinner tomorrow night," you'll act like a whore when I say, first I've got to teach you some manners.

"When?" you don't want to leave.

"I'll call you." Get out.

You step out onto the curb and wave.

"Goodnight," I say and you turn and head in. I don't leave until I know you're inside, safe. In fact, I don't really leave at all. I park the Range a block away and walk back. Your light is still off, but even in the darkness, I can see you up there. You really should close your curtains, especially when you're inside, naked and panting, humping your pillow like a bitch in heat.

[caroline-in-hr]

if u don't mind me asking, what are u currently writing? cuz you mention a north dakota fic and a sunny fic 3. i'm just really exited to read your stuff :D

that’s really cool that you’re excited, friend. I just hope they don’t disappoint when I finally pop them out omg

(by the way, in case people out there don’t really care to listen to me talking about my writing? anon’s always on, so let me know and I’ll try to work out a tag so people can blacklist this kinda thing, if they want! I like talking about my writing, but I really do understand if other people aren’t here for that and want me to tone it down. I don’t mind doing so!)

SO, on the docket so far, we’ve got north dakota fic, which is a 1210 fix-it fic that I honestly thought could be short and sweet? it’s not looking that way - I’m aiming to keep it under 20k words but we’ll see. (fun for people to read, most likely, but a bitch and a half to write and rewrite and revise.) the synopsis is that dennis leaves for north dakota and actually does try to give the whole fatherhood/responsible human being deal a shot. but it’s interestingly enough turning into almost a reverse sunny fic 2 - where the theme of that story was ‘certain events are beyond dennis’ control, and dennis loses control of himself the more stubbornly he tries to resist the changing tides,’ the theme of north dakota fic is turning into ‘dennis cannot force change himself, even if his intentions are good, and he has to learn to accept this.’ underneath that layer, north dakota fic should also examine dennis’ feelings for mac? as I’ve got it in my head, the ending isn’t super ‘macdennis is literally the prophecy’ - it’s more along the lines of how sunny fic 1 ended, if that makes sense. but mac and dennis should get a good conversation or two out of it.

and I can tell you right now, I’m figuring out a way to centrally work in at least three songs - ‘free bird’ by lynyrd skynyrd, ‘landslide’ by fleetwood mac, and ‘once in a lifetime’ by talking heads. (also, the sideplot is mac and frank are facing prison time for the illegal weapons trade. if anyone out there knows where I can read up on this for research purposes, I would be super grateful.) I’m sorry to keep inflicting my music taste on people, but I want to see if I can work a neat theme out of this one.

after that is sunny fic 3! which, I don’t have a title for, but it’s another numbered guy, which means I actually planned it, which means I’m waiting for a sunny-styled title to pop up so I can work out another title card gag. this is your fandom-standard ‘five times x does y (and one time x does z)’ fic, which I don’t think I’ve ever written period (and I’ve bounced in and out of fandoms for ten years, now). basically, after mac comes out, he tries dating five different guys (one of whom is the lawyer, because I want a turn at writing the lawyer like you wouldn’t fucking believe) and dennis, being a real asshole, sabotages the first four relationships, nearly costing him his friendship with mac. I don’t plan on sugarcoating that, either; sabotaging a relationship is a Dick Move, and I love mac too much to make him stand for that once he finds out. similarly to north dakota fic, the inner plot focuses on dennis examining his feelings for mac, but it should be a little more overt than the former.

now, time for the standard warning: adhd + fragile hyperfixation + big girl job + slow writing process = none of this shit is being pumped out overnight, unfortunately. but I do hope that I’ve got enough discipline to get at least these two out there!