#then that last line just gives me whiplash what does that mean!!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Peach..

I miss him so so much.

Can you gush about Jimin ?

Love how you wrote about him.

Thank you so so much in advance.

Whenever you are free. No pressure.

***

Hi @misslauwie

When your ask came in weeks ago, something in my chest squeezed a little. Because god yes I miss him too. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is kinda 'off', like everything is 'wrong', like we're all stuck in a holding pattern of sorts... And for anyone who thinks that's too dramatic, no it's not. Look around you. The world is kinda fucked, and the reason is because Jimin isn't on stage right now seducing the crowd performing like rent is past due, dancing his heart out, and singing like the fallen angel he is.

It's hard for me to talk about him these days though... I mean, there's always so much to say when it comes to Jimin, but the words don't form quite right for me these days.

Is it alright for me to simply post some pictures I come back to when I miss him and jikook?

Assuming I have your permission, that's what this post is going to be about.

(they cuddle)

*

There's this one from his last live before enlisting. Bare-faced, in an all black hoodie and beanie outfit looking hot as hell. It's the way he's giving 'Korean skaterboy who moonlights as a hacker', but at the same time he comes across as responsible, capable, and real. Cute too.

But lol, maybe that's just what I see when I'm biased.

*

Who else gets stuck looking at his eyes?

There's always so much to say about Jimin because literally everything about him could yield its own thesis. From the range and depth in his stage personas; to how pretty his body features are, before they morph into something more... deviant; to his voice that polarizes and entraps every audience. There's so much to talk about when it comes to Jimin, but I keep coming back to his eyes...

*

(This gave you whiplash didn't it :))

He's always known exactly what to do and how to do it.

*

Jimin is giving 70s cult leader in this shot and it's a fave. He's too modest to ever ask, but we all know we'd join a commune for him if he pulled that zipper down a little lower.

Anyway. Does anybody know why he likes this pair of shoes so much? I've always found them a bit ugly, but somehow, he makes it work. And it's clear he likes them a lot since he wears them all the time. But like... why?

*

Another picture I stare at on days when I miss jikook jikooking, is this one.

It's the moon in the shot that does it. The lines and symmetry, the afterglow of the sunset, Jimin's wide curved back, Jungkook focused on him, Jimin focused on him too, the fact someone else saw them like this and took this picture. They could've been chatting about what they'd like to eat for dinner or some other mundane thing, but it's the care and focus they show for each other that comes through so clearly for me in this shot.

*

This one has a place in my gallery because it's peak jikook.

*

As is this one:

*

Anyway.

Down bad for Baby G.

Imagine if PJM2 has a track like Set Me Free Pt 2 + Tony Montana... imagine the cataclysm it will cause in k-pop, imagine the havoc this cutie patootie pie will cause.

*

Sigh.

*

One day, when I find the words, I'll try to write about all the ways he charms. I owe a kind person from Tumblr (KPFT) a post about him.

*

In 2025, he'll be a 30 year old man desperate to get back on stage. And lord, I just hope everyone is ready.

*

This is the last one.

I come back to this picture sometimes because back then, they really did just have eyeliner and a dream. He gave his all right from the start and has created life-changing art. It's endearing to know he's both a bit of a workaholic and can be lazy too... and to know he still sleeps the exact way - like this:

...and this:

..and this:

*

@misslauwie I miss him too. Also miss Jungkook and the rest of the tannies. For Jimin, it makes me very happy that at least, Jungkook is with him.

He'll be back soon. 💜

[disastergenius]

Observations/my favorite things in Hadestown Live from London:

Act 1:

Melanie La Barrie's interpretation of Hermes really works for me, it's my favorite version so far

Caribbean Hermes! Irish Orpheus!! Northern Eurydice!! love that they got to keep their accents

Orpheus's "Yes..." in Come Home With Me

Orpheus's laugh as Eurydice accuses of him being a liar and player; the playfulness of the interaction is so cute and helps balance their dynamic (you get why she would actually want to give him the time of day), and she returns the laugh at the end

Grace Hodgett-Young and Dónal Finn both have absolutely gorgeous singing and speaking voices

"and the sugar from the maple" line sounds so good

the voice crack "Yes!" (Wedding Song) gets me every time

more giggling from Orpheus and Eurydice

Gloria Onitiri's Persephone is so good! Her characterization is fun and I like her vocal choices

singing "who has finally returned to us / with wine enough to share" (Livin' It Up On Top)

I've loved every single version of All I've Ever Known I've ever heard

knowing that Dónal's favorite line is "But when I saw you all alone against the sky/It's like I've known you all along"

the strings solo is beautiful (All I've Ever Known)

Zachary James is really good as Hades, I like that he's not trying to do a Patrick Page impression

Removing Epic II means we miss the best transition of the show of Epic II into Chant I

Grace Hodgett-Young has such a strong and consistent voice; Eurydice's desperation in Chant really comes through

I have also never heard a bad version of Now That the Chips are Down

Dónal's Orpheus sounds significantly sadder and more angry at himself when he realizes why Eurydice left and as such, he sounds much more desperate to go after her. He also sounds more unsure as he starts walking but the strength in his voice is perfect

not gonna lie, I usually skip Why We Build the Wall. It's fine as a song and well sung, and I understand why it's there narratively and it helps worldbuild Hadestown before we see it through Eurydice's eyes, but it just does nothing for me (Act I functionally ends at Wait For Me)

the chorus getting quiet at the end of Why We Build the Wall is a good choice

Act II:

jumping straight to If It's True on this album is crazy. I'm aware that since it cut songs it's not meant to be fully representative of the show, but it really changes the listening experience if you skip to the middle of Act 2

Dónal's If It's True is devastating. What can I say that hasn't already been said: it's the perfect mix of sad and angry and unifying for the workers. Righteously angry union leader Orpheus is the best

Epic III fantastic as always

Epic III lyric rewrite is fine. I still like the og version (from the off-broadway version) and I get why it keeps changing but I do think the lyrics are not as inventive

Epic III They Danced instrumental/vocal is also beautiful I love it so much

giggles in Promises! Getting flustered as the audience cheered

Promises is the last time we see Orpheus and Eurydice happy together and Grace Hodgett-Young and Dónal Finn play it so well, the emotions are all there

Wait for Me Reprise

Leaving off Doubt Comes In is criminal, I'm so sorry, Dónal's version is great and equally devastating and this is the song I'm the saddest was excluded

Road to Hell Reprise continues to be sad and the emotional whiplash without having Doubt Comes In is wild

Overall:

Fantastic album, I love this cast and glad they got a recording. Mourning the cut songs (also they cut so many Hades and Persephone songs; they have none of the ones they sing together), living in denial that they have them recorded from this performance and will release them someday.

[mango-jpeg]

pushover notes

first had the idea n started making notes back in may, originally was shinji’s pov but i was having trouble getting it off the ground. switched to aki’s and ideas flowed a lot faster

title from the song pushover which i picked way back at the beginning when i was thinking about shinji pov but titles are hard so i kept it even through the switch

since it’s been a while since i wrote this (aug/sept) i’m trying a different format and doin a kinda like. commentary track for lines that stuck out in some way while i did edits just before posting

“Fuuka committed tax fraud?” Akihiko interrupted, confused. “No, you idiot.” Shinji shot him a look. “And even if she did I wouldn’t tell you.”

one of the first things i wrote. 1) love the idea of fuuka committing fraud 2) shinji explaining things badly is precious to me. pls never learn how to communicate properly

Fuuka had prepared a welcome home dinner and was quietly proud of her work. It was a lively meal; Ken was hungry for stories from abroad, Akihiko was curious about Fuuka’s studies, and Shinji kept piling food on his plate, until he was physically unable to eat another bite.

when i first wrote this scene i was like ‘oh god what food are they eating’ then i realized. akihiko probably doesn’t care that much. yippee!

“I don’t mean…” Shinji’s brows shot up in disbelief and Akihiko grimaced. Obviously he was aching for it, but he wasn’t an animal. He could control himself. “Just let me hold you.” Something passed over Shinji’s face and he turned his head to hide it. Akihiko watched his chest rise and fall rapidly, like he was trying to catch his breath. When was the last time he got some decent cardio in?

despite the shift in pov to akihiko, this fic is primarily about shinji suffering <3

Fuuka seemed to enjoy herself—she took lots of pictures and stopped to read all the little placards—which Akihiko suspected was the entire point of the trip; Shinji followed her closely, like he could will her into a good time through sheer proximity.

crinjiro sighting . i love how an outside pov gives me more opportunities to make shinji look lame :)

“You—you ain’t wearin’—” Shinji sounded incredulous and almost pained. Akihiko felt his fingers bite into the crease where his ass met his thigh. Something in the way he said it made Akihiko a little defensive. “I don’t need to, they have a thing, this netting—” Shinji made a noise weirdly close to a sob. “Stop talkin’.”

i love that akihiko is canonically indifferent the clothes he wears beyond his own sense of practicality, and i think it’s funny to have him prance around in tiny running shorts w nothing on underneath

Akihiko liked to consider himself overall levelheaded, and he prided himself on his mastery of his body. But Shinji was wearing a loose sweater with an overstretched neck that left his collarbone exposed and it was driving Akihiko into the grips of total insanity. As, he assumed, it would anyone with eyes and a heartbeat.

really wanted to emphasize the difference between what akihiko wears/does that drive shinji crazy (tiny shorts, fellating a popsicle, etc.) and what shinji does (ie. nothing)

“You have no idea what you do to me.” / “You’re a fuckin’ idiot if you really think that.”

probably my fav lines of dialogue in this

Shinji turned to him. His face went through so many different expressions so quickly Akihiko nearly got whiplash. An expression of agony was the one that stuck. Akihiko had literally seen Shinji face down death with more composure than he was looking at him then.

loser. an early bit that made me laugh. so much of what i write revolves around what i think is funny......

Shinji made the face that he made when he was trying not to smile. It was a good face, though Akihiko hadn’t always thought that. He liked it more now that Shinji actually let himself smile often.

i don’t have anything to add, i just like these lines lol

“You’re crazy,” Akihiko said, in a hoarse voice. “Shuddup.” Shinji slapped his ass and stood.

i keep writing shinji as more embarrassed during sex than akhiko so i wanted to turn the tables a bit. i think that for shinji giving pleasure is less embarrassing than receiving it + eatin ass would be just normal oral sex to him

Akihiko stood in the middle of the room and considered his thighs. Should he focus more on lower-body workouts?

i think shinji’s sexual fantasies all involve akihiko doing squats in his underwear

Shinji was staring down at him, a faint furrow between his brows. Following some nameless impulse, Akihiko took the cock into his mouth.

i got stuck on the smut for daaays bc there was too much i wanted them to do… but ultimately i wanted akihiko to suck the strap-on more than i wanted shinji to use it on him sooooo whatever, he puts it on just for akihiko to suck it

Shinji’s pulse was steady and strong, thrumming against his fingers. Akihiko fell asleep smiling.

something something wow isn’t it lucky that shinji’s alive at all

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

okay this is for the "I say Havers"-meta anon because I feel a bit bad that I didn't give you what you wanted🙈

So we pick it up again after, the last post I showed you.

Captain says his line about the cover drive, Havers thanks him and then this happens :

(Two btws: -I remember making one of my silly little lazy posts with "say something I'm giving up on you" to this image

-just found out whilst looking for the GIF: I actually can tell from Gifs that only have his facial expression what has been said to him and at which point we are in the scene,solely based on his expression😮 )

Sorry back to the meta:

Would you look at him. In the first scene we have with him Cap dismisses him by saying "carry on" and Havers gets back to his duties. But here Cap, all wrapped up in his feelings made room for a pause by not saying anything after his cricket comment.

Now Havers says this and of course he can't just leave,he has to be dismissed and my boy has places to be (north-africa). But this is clearly not him asking for further commands etc.

Look at his eyes completely fixed on Cap and his raised eyebrow and the movement of the head. It's simutaneously the gesture one makes to remind someone that it's their turn to speak or do something as well as it looks like he tries to not only encourage Cap but is trying to indicate that "If you have anything to say, now is the time". Basically it looks like he's desperately waiting/yearning/hoping that Cap will adress his feelings/confess his feelings. He's almost trying to nudge him mentally to spit something out. (Still believe His inner monologue here was "say something, say something, say something!")

But Cap just confirms that that's all and in this second Havers realises that Cap won't say anything. And look how dissapointed he looks because it's just not happening. He's giving up and very very briefly has to get his facial expression in check. he turns to leave

(Excuse the screenshot quality I'm typing this on my phone and had to take this from YouTube)

So Cap now panicks a bit because this is probably the last conversation they'll be having and he at least has something to say that resembles a good bye or an I miss you just something to tell Havers what he means to him. So at the last minute:

and of course Havers whips around with an expectant look the only difference is he does not look like he's screaming internally wondering If Cap will confess anymore. I guess because he's already in his stiff upper lip/professional mode because my god the man can hide his emotions Like 1000 times better than Cap. Also he has given up after Cap gave him emotional whiplash twice already in this conversation. But nonetheless there is still a faint hope which is shown by how fucking fast he turns towards him.

So the next part hast been said by others before. Cap tries to say something, his courage leaves him, he shakes his head to himself and settles for

With this pleading look on his face of I dunno "please I mean it"? "please you have to understand/to see"? "Please believe me when I say"?

Wordwise though he's going the semi professional route of "I really liked working with you because I like you as a colleague"

So now Havers reaction which I for the longest time could not get. I mean i get the nod that's a "acknowledged....thank you ...you too... bye"

But the smile? So yeah now I gotta say first of all professional mode is on. But also in a way he got an "It's a shame that you're going, I wish you we're staying" but just not as a romantic confession. So he's smiling because at least he got that and it was sincere? Also happy that Cap did at least say something about his emotions towards him in the end?

seriously interpretations on that smile are very welcome.

Sorry this all is again incoherent babbling, but at least it's now about the right part of the scene.

[allwormdiet]

Insinuation 2.2

Time for another day of learning and adventure at Winslow High

That does have to be weird, though, right? Like "I fought a big badass villain last night and survived, my whole world has been changed by this encounter, I stared death in the face, what do you mean I still have to go to class and act like nothing changed?" Massive whiplash, I'd imagine.

Mrs. Knott gives the impression of being... better, at least, than Gladly. She's putting the effort in if nothing else, even if she has to leave the better-performing students alone in order to handle the rest of them, but that feels more like a matter of understaffing than any personal failure on her part.

God it's still messed up that Taylor has such little respite from bullying. This poor girl.

...I think this is the first time I've ever seen anything about Taylor knowing basic computer programming. Wonder if that ever comes back around.

And yeah Taylor, of course you have a geeky reputation, you're a fucking geek. Even setting aside the stuff with the bullying, like c'mon.

I saw a shitpost about how the single reason that Earth Bet is a dystopia is that Reddit is the number one news source in the world and there's something really funny about that idea.

Okay real quick the screenshot would be too small for me to add alt text, but “This article is a stub. Be a hero and help us expand it.” is an objectively hilarious line

And here we get the most information on any given Undersider, and it's immediately clear that Rachel has had a hard fucking life, like hell. Living on the streets as a teenage parahuman must be rough as hell, it's like living on the streets as a normal teenager except people want to recruit or imprison you while wearing stupid costumes instead of just police uniforms

(I would follow a Bitch fansite though, for real)

That's not how gangs work but whatever

So the ABB has a dragon man with dragon tattoos who uses the Chinese word for dragon as his cape name while being from Japan, a suicide bomber who dresses like a ninja, and a bomb Tinker. I don't know enough about Bakuda to really say but Lung and Oni Lee's gimmicks feel... mm. Lazy isn't the right word. Let's just stick with "racist" and move on so it stops bugging me

This is cute actually. She did a good job and she wants to like, celebrate that... and the only problem is that there's nobody she can celebrate with. I just made myself sad thinking about that.

And now she's basically Googling herself, which is also somehow cute.

There's something really funny about the idea that like. Taylor gets in touch with the Undersiders through a fucking Missed Connections post on a superhero message board. Like it's almost certainly the safest and most reliable way to get that message out, but that doesn't make it less comical.

And it looks like that's where we're leaving things.

Current Thoughts

Hit some highs and lows with this chapter honestly. Learning a little bit more about Taylor (swear to god I've never heard the programming thing come up before) and getting more of a breakdown on the Undersiders is all well and good, plus developments from the events of the night before, but again the whole Deal of the ABB grates pretty harshly. Like you don't need goddamn Edward Said to tell you that's all crap, it's just crap, and I don't think it reflects well on the author for putting that crap out there instead of thinking about it for maybe another thirty minutes first.

I gotta run some errands, 2.3 after that, God willing I don't have to read about the ABB for a while longer

[brynnterpretations]

I want one of the boys pairings please! A lot of the stuff I’m going to say is just going to transition from topic to topic, so sorry for any whiplash. I am a female with longish dark curly hair, bangs, 5’1, glasses. I have a few tattoos and an eyebrow piercing. I love to work and talk with children, and I love working with animals, and I’m a vegetarian. For as long as I can remember I’ve had a thing for the snarky funny guy who can be kind of an asshole - and by guy I mean anyone, male, female, or anything else doesn’t matter to me. I will drool over that person. I have confessed to every single crush I have ever had though it’s usually taken some time because my crushes last for a really long time - not sure why but just felt the need to get it out there. I’m a bit mean to the person I like when a crush appears. I was diagnosed with OCD recently - a lot of repeating behaviors like checking my alarms are on and that I locked the door. Some picking at my skin as well that comes with anxiety - I’m always swatted at by my sister to stop whenever she catches me. I love to talk to people and learn about them, though it can be hard for me to make friends. I love to read and watch a lot of TV shows. The way I dress is inconsistent - long skirt and tank top one day, and then long jean shorts and baggy tee shirt the next. Though I’m always wearing my trusty reeboks!! They are old as shit and everybody tells me to get rid of them. I can be a bit bossy and stubborn - and honestly kind of mean sometimes because of my “tone” and because I think it’s what some people need - though I mean well and just care a lot. I carry a lot of passion with me! And it gets me into trouble! But I think at the end of the day you’ll understand that I just care a lot. I’m not a liar, and I have a bad poker face because every emotion is written on it. You’ll know when I’m mad! And, I could lie if I wanted to but I don’t like to lie - I want you to know how I feel about something, good or bad. I’ll argue if I need to! I stick to my morals, which is why I don’t have many friends. I’d rather have no friends than give up my morals. Unfortunately I find grey morals hot (only on television!!!!!!). I don’t like sweets much, I like salt more. I try to eat pretty healthy, but chips are hard to give up. I’m an early bird, I feel like waking up late is missing out on the day. I know this is a lot, but I’m just thinking of random attributes so you can get a good idea. I feel like that’s a good place to end! I hope I gave you enough info!

I ship you with...

Marvin T. Milk ♡

Boyfriend

GIF Source: @vcugifs ★ (link)

You and M.M. meet at CAVA, a healthy restaurant chain on 42nd St. You both share a love for healthy food, and, while in a slow-moving line, strike up some small-talk.

M.M. finds you very pretty, but isn't someone who immediately wants to ask anyone out, so you two just talk before ordering. And then, you run into each other, again and again and again.

Upon the fifth time, he decides to ask for your number — "it's rare to find a nice person to talk to in NYC" — and you two text every other day. It starts out mostly platonic, though you two share a mutual attraction off the bat, as you two text and make plans to try new foods.

After about two or so weeks of getting to know each other more and try more and more restaurants, M.M. begins seeing you as a viable romantic option. He's been pretty wary of love since.

However, he does not rush things. Fearing making a mistake and also worried about complicating things with his daughter and ex-wife, he wants to take things slow, and so... he does.

As another person with OCD, he catches onto it pretty quickly, especially the skin-picking. He doesn't push you on it, but tells you that he's always here for you to talk to, and also gives you gentle reminders that you are picking your skin when you start doing it subconsciously.

He also doesn't really have an issue with any "meanness" you may exhibit with a crush as long as it doesn't cross any of his boundaries, and would do his best to banter with you.

Around the three-month mark of hanging out, M.M. realizes he'd like to take things to the next level with you — especially with Frenchie's excited hugging and asking about "now who is this who is making you so happy, monsieur?" However, he is really, really nervous, and spends a week deliberating how to ask you if you could start seeing each other romantically.

Fortunately, though, he didn’t have to ask — he’d charmed you enough for you to blurt out your crush, and for the next few months, you two basically did everything couples did without yet being official.

M.M. would usually take things much, much slower, but after you were able to open up with him more than you had with anyone else, he decided to ask you if you would be his girlfriend over a quiet, romantic dinner with wine or your favorite beverage.

When you say yes? M.M. reaches for your hands to hold them in his and gives you the most warm, tear-jerking smile in existence.

M.M. would really, really appreciate your lack of a poker face and refusal to lie. Considering he works with Butcher of all people, and had to deal with Monique's hesitation for tough emotional conversations in the last few years of their marriage, someone who hides their feelings well is not someone he wants to be with.

You all definitely have one of the healthiest relationships there is due to your ability to communicate. While you have some sturdy walls up, your love of each other makes communication steady; maybe not always easy, but certainly relieving and strengthening.

You two are both early risers, and M.M. makes a routine of waking up early to cook you a healthy breakfast and some killer green juice.

On the topic of food, M.M. has always wanted to go vegetarian, and eventually vegan. While he isn't a big "pet" guy — bro has allergies galore — he loves animals from a distance, and when he hears you talk about it and tries your food, decides to give it a shot.

He’s also a big reader, so you both share a ton of book recommendations. As mentioned in another shift, M.M. is a micro-celebrity on Goodreads, and he would 100% urge you into getting it if you don't have it already.

You two share a spreadsheet of books you plan to read together, or books you want the other to read.

M.M. loves your appearance, and especially loves when you dress in more comfy clothes — it's always been something in every partner that does something for him.

Speaking of past partners, he introduces you to Monique and Janine, who you get along very well with. Monique and you don't talk too much just because it's a bit awkward, but you two still get along whenever you see each other.

Additionally, you basically become a second mom in Janine's eyes, and it absolutely melts M.M.'s heart whenever he sees you reading to her or playing around with her.

You three all go out for dinner on Sundays.

And, to conclude, a silly side note: your Reeboks give M.M. major anxiety, and he is always suggesting replacing them. The choice is yours, my friend.

Though he may end up buying another pair of them as a gift in hopes of

The Boys ☻

Acquaintances

GIF Source: @oceluna ★ (link)

M.M. is reluctant to have you get involved in anything relating to the boys, so they remain only your acquaintances, excluding you and Annie — you're not best friends or anything, but you get along really well and often hang out when she has the time.

As M.M. is the one Annie gets along most with outside of Hughie and Kimiko, she approaches you the first time you come in. You two end up talking for twenty minutes straight about books and your tattoos, which Annie is fascinated by.

As you come around more often, you two exchange numbers, and often go out late at night to bowling alleys and karaoke bars. Regardless of if you drink, it's always a fun time, and

While Annie doesn't share your exact sense of humor, she does find it very funny, and if you have TikTok, you two would send each other memes and videos nonstop.

Frenchie wouldn't get around to talking to you too much, but he's definitely the one who shares your sense of humor the most, so it's always really fun when he's around. Additionally, Frenchie loves animals — particularly cats — so he'd always have a fun time talking about them with you.

Also would encourage you to come with him to alleys in town that tend to have the most strays, which... is weird... and sounds very shady... but is fun, even if there are some awkward moments.

Kimiko wouldn't interact with you as much as Frenchie would, but she'd hold a silent appreciation towards you. She wouldn't always get your sense of humor, but she finds your honesty and kindness incredibly refreshing. A few times when you're left alone together, you two would pass a whiteboard around, small-talking about your lives.

And, one night when you two ended up in the office alone, you would have a really, really sweet conversation over takeout after you both had bad days.

Hughie likes you, but doesn't always know how to respond to your sense of humor, so he... kind of avoids you. Listen, listen! He does like you, but he tries to reduce awkwardness as much as he can, and he feels like he can never get it right while interacting with you.

However, once he found out you read a book that was one of the few he enjoyed (as a guy who isn't much of a reader), he'd warm up to you a lot more.

Butcher is... the most difficult of them. With your firm moral code and attraction to gray morals exclusively in fiction, he's a pretty tough guty to get along with. You're never rude to him, and he's never exceedingly rude to you besides the typical snarky comments, but y'all really just do not vibe.

Since you and M.M. share similar moral codes, too, your lack of a poker face when he ends up mentioning some B.S. Machiavelian idea has caused some borderline arguments between you two, which always ends up with Butcher telling you and M.M. to fuck off.

Queue M.M. defending your honor.

M.M. is the best boyfriend, on God.

You and Butcher can banter, though, and those are some rare but nice moments of camaraderie between you.

All in all: while Butcher's an ass and your time with the boys is limited, they all care about you, even with disagreements (AKA Butcher, the geezer). That's a pretty good accomplishment considering everything.

[spectres-fulcrum]

Some Palia crumbs and gut feelings I need to type out

Okay so I met the last “villager” I had left to meet yesterday(as I fell asleep while typing this). Tamala. I didn’t even like her in the promo art, and I had to go to her cause she never comes to town. I knew from promo stuff, she was an adult, a potion maker, and Hassian’s ex, so I was willing to be like some of my initial ick was jealousy. She just gives me SUCH bad vibes.

Like vililan vibes. And I’m intrigued but she grosses me off. Then my mind goes “If all magic is bad then does she even do dark magic if ALL magic is dark? And all you know now is that she does beauty and youth-ew, we will get there- potions.”

But she gives bad news vibes like sirens. Like there’s a reason she’s forced into the northern parts of Bahari Bay and none of the villagers dare to go to the north. Not even Hassian or Hodari who live in the Bay.

And we know it wasn’t always like that-Hassian and Tamala. They were lovers. And he’s a young adult. How young? Idk. I feel like 23/24ish. He feels like middle of the young adult age group characters. Kenyatta and Nai’o feels like the youngest, and Jel and Reth seem the oldest to me. Tamala is classified as adult and looks, idk, 30s, early 30s, and probably spun a web, but I saw in Discord she referred to an event 40 years ago, so she’s what, 45? 50? 60? Like how old was she 40 years ago is the question. (They clearly classified her by her appearence, smart)

So she;s idk how old and seduced the young hunter from the village-red flag. And she uses potions to hide her true age-red flag. And in our daily chat she was like, charming potions are so nice. They compliment you so much/hang onto every word you say/smth. And I’m just like. Angry. Cause is that what you did with Hassian, Tamala? Potioned him into “loving” you? Cause That’s so fucking noncon. Crosses so many lines. And it’s just like-Disguising.

If my gut feeling is right. That whatever they had was dressed up in potions of youth and charm and was never real at all but felt real-felt real enough. Like I grew up on Speak Now enough to know when to say “Alexa play Dear John.” Ow. I can see Hassian and Sifuu having a falling out over this gorgeous woman in the “my mother accused me of losing my mind but I swore I was fine.” Because they’re both so much more… fire…. Than Taylor and Andrea. Like full blowout argument, they don’t talk for weeks. Until Hassian realized it was all pretend and he’s broken and going home and mom doesn’t say I told you so like he’s picturing, but just has hugs and cuddles when the tears comes and it feels likes it’ll never be okay again but that’s…

And Reth once told me Hassian plays cards with Auni? Why? To keep an eye on him? So she can’t sink her claws into a child next? How often does Hodari thank the dragon that Najuma would never have any interest in witches promises beauty and love potions? Is part of why Jina can’t move the red tape an inch because Hassian accidentally moved them and touched magic too intimately?

Idk. Just theorizing some gut feelings and crumbs. I don’t expect the game to delve into any serious shit like this-doesn’t mean we can’t. Also it’s not going to anger as many people cause it’s younger man/older woman vs the other way around. I’m very well aware of that. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t gross me out.

So now I’m like. Tamala will clearly move the plot forward and I want to know what I can gleam from her. And my character doesn’t know about her and Hassian or anything. She just knows her as the recluse who makes potions in north Bahari Bay and she doesn’t like her but is also intrigued. I’m intrigued but enraged and I don’t like how she is. I also don’t like how Taylor put Mean after Dear John on Speak Now. Fucking whiplash.

We’ll see. I just needed to get this out. I am thrilled to write it though but as a game character I do not want to interact with Tamala. And there’s people who romance her??? Well, I imprinted on Hassian and I don’t typically like the goth witchy types so…

[mossy-rainfrog]

hello everyone, I made a series of doodles to put inside of my copy of MobyDick and I would like to share them :3 pls enjoy:

[ID: Two traditional drawings. Ahab shows off his new pegleg with a flourish. Ishmael infodumps about whales to a fond Queequeg. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]

New Leg Goofin is for chapters 108-9, when Ahab gets fitted with his new leg! it's right before a super devastating chapter so i needed to make myself laugh lmao

Wikipedia Page About Every Whale is for the whole goddamn book, honestly, but I chose to put it at the beginning of ch.32, Cetology, where Ishmael really does try to explain every whale ever

[ID: A comic of Stubb and Flask bursting into Ahab's quarters, thinking the Captain is in danger, only to find Ahab and Fedallah playing a game of cards. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]

This gem belongs to p.344 where Stubb wonders if Fedallah means to kidnap Ahab, which was such a baffling ridiculous concept that I couldn't help but make fun of it. literally Ahab snuck this man on board bro, what the fuck is fedallah going to do to him. they're playing uno. shut up

[ID: Two drawings, with the first showing Pip after being cast away, haunted and alone on the deck of the Pequod. The other shows Ishmael and Queequeg homoerotically grasping hands while processing whale spermaceti. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]

this goes out to chapters 93-95, because the UNREAL whiplash from "a child was just abandoned at sea" to "hey let's be horny about whale oil" is still the most insane transition of all time. Ishmael, what the fuck

[ID: A simply doodled meme diagram for how to greet a fellow amputee. The "wrong" answer shows Captains Ahab and Boomer shaking hands, while the "right" answers show Ahab in a handstand and then kicking his leg up high, both times to cross his prosthetic with Boomer's. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]

this goes out to p. 454. every interaction between these two absolutely delighted me but my mental image for the specific line about them "crossing ivory limbs" got. very silly.

[ID: A small comic of Ahab asking the Harpooners to give him blood to temper his harpoon in. They stare back at him with varying expressions of confused, uncomfortable disbelief. End ID.]

the last one, for p.504. yknow that feel when your boss just walks up and asks you to bleed on his custom made harpoon??? yeah uh. normal workday things

anyways thank you for reading, I had a delightful time making these and am so very fond of them all, so yea :3

credit as always for the designs goes to the darling @pocketsizedquasar , as well as credit for pricelessly annotating my copy of MD and thus getting me to actually read it, love youuuu💙💙

[illmetkismet]

for the character thing, the outsider?

🙏🙏🙏 thank you so much, and a please accept my preemptive apology for the essay this will probably become...

How I feel about this character: I was saving this one for last from the batch of asks I got for this game, because the Outsider is my specialest boy of all time ���� I played D1 and was like, 'oooh how fun and sexy, a mysterious Void god!' but then D2 happened with the whole Omelas-ass reveal and my brain melted like a caterpillar in its chrysalis into a soup of sadness and suffering from which the beautiful butterfly of my borderline-unhealthy obsession with the Outsider emerged. You can't just give me a character who's a metaphor for isolation, expulsion, and profound loneliness, and not expect me to pick him up and put him in my pocket forever. Do I project onto him? Over-identify, even? Yeah, shut up, so whaaaaaat? Aren't all of us trapped in a Void of our own, really? Who here hasn't been forever altered by the cruelty of others? And who among us isn't constantly sticking their fingers in the pie of life, poking around in there, hoping against hope to find some glimmer of goodness and hope and joy? Who isn't sick of all this shit and just wants to rest?? Ha ha as you can see I'm totally normal about him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Just Corvo. He fascinates the Outsider, he surprises him, he's the catalyst for the kind of moments the Outsider says he waits for (this is, crucially, a line you only get from him after the low chaos Burrows elimination). I think the Outsider's been searching for someone who won't disappoint him for such a long time, someone he could give a piece of himself to who won't turn around and do something terrible with it. Like.... Come on! That's it, for me. To love is to give yourself away a little bit, to be surprised when the person who receives that gift treats it with the seriousness and consideration it deserves. And that's Corvosider 🖤🖤🖤

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Billie's whole journey to find him, and the understanding she comes to about him means so much to me.... 100% they become friends post-DotO. Letting him live is her way of letting herself live, to put her past behind her and prove to herself, once and for all, that she's more than a killer. And for the Outsider, she's the one person who could best understand the truth of what he is, how he was made into what he is, because in a way she's had the same done to her. The world fucked them both over so hard and forced them into these untenable positions that caused them both so much pain.... Oh god I have to stop thinking about this. They're best bros for life, next question!

My unpopular opinion about this character: I definitely prefer D2 Outsider over D1. I know ppl were very invested into the whole whale god thing, but his human sacrifice backstory was what really did it for me. Plus I love the way Robin Lord Taylor voiced him - the Hollows speeches in DotO make me so fucking emotional... He does a great job of going from bitchy to breathily earnest, and the emotional whiplash that gives me is very fun. Plus the way he scrunches his nose a little sometimes! Aaaaaa D2 Outsider my favorite son!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Obviously I really really really wanted to see what he would get up to after he became human again, cause uh, I wrote a novel about it lol.... But one thing I really wanted to see, that I didn't even do myself, was for the Outsider to go meet Sokolov, finally, as a mortal. I think that would be such great closure for both of them: for Sokolov to see indisputable proof that the power he was chasing was terrible and cruel (something he realized for himself in his final years, but meeting the Outsider would have driven this home beautifully), and for the Outsider to conclusively put away his old fickle relationship with humanity. For both of them to see each other as human beings, to really understand how fucked up the way they related to each other was. I'd love that!

[perfctvelvet]

Something Over Nothing

Zendaya/Reader

Content: ex-lovers, angst, implied cheating, smut, oral, thigh humping. 18+ only!!!

Author's note: Planning to post the Dua fic later this week! Also working on a series idea for patreon, but I'm not 100% sure about it. Anyway, enjoy!

“I don’t want to make this any more confusing than it already is.”

“How is it confusing? I think everyone would understand that we’re giving this another shot. And, if someone asks, we can just say we were taking a break.”

Y/n sighs in frustration. Zendaya has a gleam in her eyes, showing off her ardent optimism. She is 100% all in this, but Y/n isn’t sure what ‘this’ is. Yes, Zendaya was becoming present in her life again after months of not being together, but Y/n struggles to see where that equals their relationship rekindling; if anything she thought they were closer on the path to just being friends. There has never been any discussion of what they have — that is something Y/n is trying to avoid.

“That’s not a good idea,” is all she says, much to Zendaya’s frustration.

It’s going to take a while for her to budge, especially with the way things ended between them. It took her some time to simply even talk to her ex-girlfriend. Zendaya is at their once-shared apartment almost everyday now. Sometimes she cooks breakfast or dinner. She sometimes even sleeps in the same bed as Y/n when they’re both too tired after fucking each other. The lines were blurring and it’s because Y/n is allowing it which leads Zendaya to believe they’re in a better place.

Zendaya had made her favorite meal last night. The warmth between the two of them last night left her feeling hopeful about amending things. They felt like a couple in love again. She was even further emboldened to think that when Y/n invited her into her bedroom that night. There wasn’t that familiar lustful look in her eyes, instead she was inviting her in because she simply just wanted to be with her. It made Zendaya feel missed and loved. If she knew that it wasn’t a sign of them headed in a favorable direction then maybe she would’ve declined and just fell asleep on the couch.

“You never wanna talk about this! Everyone thinks something is up. My parents are asking about us — my friends too. And every time they ask I have no clue what to say to them.”

Zendaya gets real solemn and quiet, running her hand over her tired face as she sighs. Y/n has never, ever made this easy. She hates to call Y/n difficult, but it frustrates Zendaya how she’s constantly ignoring the obvious.

“Does everything we do mean nothing?” She continues.

Y/n scoffs as she begins to feel a little cornered. This is a topic Zendaya can go on and on about for hours, but Y/n struggles to entertain it.

She’s not using Zendaya like she may be implying. It’s just hard when she feels the pressure (and it’s not just coming from Zendaya) of trying to get back together. Things were very tumultuous at one point, and just because they’re both doing better now doesn’t mean she’s ready to just jump back in. Y/n can admit that she enjoys her company and still has deep feelings for her, but it’s hard when deep hurt also exists inside of her.

“It’s not just about sex. Not to sound like I have a big head, but there are plenty of people I can just sleep with.”

“Well you’re giving me whiplash! You know how I feel about you, and sex complicates things.”

The way Y/n clings onto her and cries her name while she’s fucking her allutes to there being emotions attached to sex together. Y/n is gorgeous so she could easily find someone else to see or fuck, but she’s deliberately choosing to spend time with Zendaya and sleeps with her. That has to mean something.

It means something, but Y/n isn’t ready to jump into the deep end of the pool. She’s much more comfortable letting Zendaya slowly slip back into her life. She was becoming a part of her daily routine again; making breakfast in the morning, sometimes stopping by her job for lunch, and helping her unwind in the evening. The way she lifts the small burdens off her shoulders is much more appreciated than the grand declarations of love.

“I want to give us another shot,” Zendaya admits something everyone, including Y/n, in the entire world already knows. “You still mean so much to me.”

Y/n sighs in frustration. She wonders how Zendaya must feel about having to beg for this. She feels bad because she knows it must hurt to be shut out like this. However, she’s putting herself first — and she is telling herself to take it slow.

“I just don’t want to rush into things, and I won’t. That’s where I stand and I’m not moving on it.”

Although her words would sound like rejection to others, to Zendaya it sounded like a second chance is still being considered. That means something to her.

“Okay,” she says slowly as if accepting. “Okay,” she says again.

So, where do they go from here? Continue to act like they’re together again like they have been doing for the last month or so? Or will Y/n eventually go back to icing her out?

“Well, Y/n,” she hesitates for a split second. Her mouth gets dry, knowing her next words could ruin everything. “I won’t stick around forever…I can’t.”

Zendaya has never used herself as leverage with Y/n, it was usually the other way around. Y/n was stunned by the shift of tone in her voice, nearly putting everything into perspective. Even if she means what she says (she doesn’t though), Y/n realizes that the thought of not having Zendaya around makes her heart race. She’s been linked with other women before, but she never took is seriously because she always came around despite them no longer being together. Y/n honestly doesn’t believe Zendaya will stop coming around, but the threat scares her. Zendaya could very well give up on trying to rekindle a relationship with her and it would be absolutely devastating for both of them. Having Zendaya follow her around like a little puppy was fun — she can’t lie — however, she truly loves her presence being around. She’s too stubborn to admit it, but Y/n loves her being around. Zendaya has changed since they're relationship ended and while some of her new habits are new to her, she doesn’t mind them.

“You don’t mean that,” Y/n says weakly. She hopes to the high heavens that she really doesn’t mean that.

“Maybe I do.”

Zendaya’s voice is also weak. They’re both two liars who want each other very badly.

Zendaya can understand Y/n’s hesitation to want to jump back into a relationship with her. She has been a bit eager which she can admit. It’s hard for her to discern what is real and fake; she’s not good at simply just hooking up.

“But you’re the one who wants to keep trying, you said it yourself.”

“I did, but something has to give, Y/n. This isn’t fair to either of us. I don’t want to lay down with you knowing it’s not going anywhere. You make me feel good and not just physically. I just want you to see that this still means something to me.”

Y/n didn’t intend for the conversation to go this far. Zendaya is always willing to spill her feelings though and she figures this has been bubbling under the surface for a while. All she can offer her ex is a “sorry,” but she isn’t exactly sure what she is sorry for. Zendaya accepts it anyway and gets up to go get started on dinner. Y/n really doesn’t want to be alone right now, but she is unsure how to approach it.

She follows her into the kitchen about fit minutes later. She rests against the corner just watching Zendaya where she looks distracted. The guilt is starting to sink in. All of the homemade meals she’s been eating lately were made by her ex. Zendaya always said she knew how busy Y/n was and always made sure she had something to eat after work.

“Z,” Y/n’s voice almost cracks as she speaks. Her skin grows hot in embarrassment of both her weakness and why she’s standing in the kitchen’s entrance. Zendaya turns around and looks at her with an unreadable look on her face until it becomes one of shock when Y/n says sorry again. “I don’t want to fight with you. I wanted to have a normal day with you.”

A normal day with each other.

A “normal day” for them is Y/n coming home and then spending the first 30 minutes pretending there isn’t any sexual tension between them before they cave. She just wanted today to be the same. Zendaya feels a little guilty for throwing their day off by pressing her with uncomfortable questions. So she’ll be the one to make sure the day ends like a “normal day.”

Y/n understands what’s happening when Zendaya turns the stove top off and approaches her. Their argument seems so trivial when she raps her arms around Y/n’s waist and presses their lips together. She always had a way to make Y/n melt, which always pissed Y/n off. Zendaya’s soft eyes, warm embrace, and loving touch always pissed her off. She wanted to be strong enough to withstand the affection, but it was nearly impossible.

“Y/n,” she moans her name as if she’s touched her yet. Y/n is aware of the effect she has on Zendaya, she has used it to her advantage many times before.

Y/n feels herself being lifted up and she makes things quick by hopping onto the kitchen counter. The kissing intensifies as Zendaya leans into her. Her back meets the wall causing her to groan into her mouth. The vibration drives Zendaya crazy. The existing frustration is taken out in this bruising kiss.

“You taste so sweet,” Zendaya moans before kissing Y/n again. No candy she’s had as a kid could compare to this. Zendaya can’t think of the last time she has wanted someone so bad.

The day has been so long and Y/n is just so tired of fighting. She gives into her desires, what her body craves, and her ex-girlfriend’s touch.

Her legs get thrown over Zendaya’s shoulders, and her face between her thighs heats her up. She can feel her breathing against her covered sex. Zendaya feels privileged that she’s allowed this. She kisses Y/n’s bare thigh once and then again for good luck. Her hands grip the underside of her pretty thighs.

“I’m so lucky,” she whispers, voice muffled by Y/n’s thighs, but Y/n moans regardless.

Y/n bucks her hips which causes Zendaya’s nose to press into her clit. She likes when Y/n is this eager for her because she’s always willing to oblige. Soon her panties are on the floor and her wet tongue is pressed flat against Y/n’s clit. She cries out as Zendaya spoils her sensitive nub. She thinks the kitchen might break if she grips it any harder.

Her clit rolls against her tongue before she takes it into her mouth.

“Oh my god!” Y/n’s voice cracks as she whines.

The pleasure Zendaya brings her is something she’ll never get over. She almost thrashes around from the overloading of her senses. The sound of her ex-girlfriend’s lips smacking against her pussy makes her want to cry. She’s so good at paying attention to detail, licking her in the way Y/n loves until she hears that strangled “baby, baby, baby…”

Y/n is embarrassingly close to cumming on Zendaya’s tongue. She’s sure she could go for longer like the energizer bunny, but Y/n already feels ready to tap out. Despite the death grip on her, her thighs tremble beyond control.

Zendaya’s grip slips from her thighs so two of her fingers can push into her. Her pussy engulfs her in wet warmth, making Zendaya moan. She looks up at Y/n, a gleam in her eyes, and tells Y/n not to cum just yet. Y/n throws her head back and lets out a frustrated groan. Zendaya’s fingers are hitting just the right spot; how could she not cum when it feels this good?

“You were desperate for it,” Zendaya teases. She likes seeing Y/n squirm, especially after she tried to put a wall between them. “Throw a fit when this is all you wanted.”

Her walls keep sucking Zendaya’s fingers in, making it a challenge to pump them in and out of her. Y/n’s needy body is so fun to watch as she withers away under her ex’s power.

“It’s okay baby, you can cum for me now.”

Zendaya’s ability to read her body irks Y/n to no end, but all she cares about is having her permission to cum. She gets over being embarrassed about it feeling “too soon” to cum and lets go. Zendaya kisses her thigh as Y/n creams on her fingers. Arousal seeps out through any tight space it can manage to. It feels so obscene to watch it happen up close. Zendaya leans in and licks the exposed parts of her fingers, and Y/n’s clit in the process. Y/n shivers from the feeling.

“Good girl,” Zendaya coos. Her gingers slide out and she admires how messy Y/n is, “you look so pretty like this. This pussy cums so much for me.”

Y/n was embarrassed, but it’s true. Just because they haven’t been together in a while doesn’t mean Zendaya forgot how to play her body. She remembers every single thing that sets her off. Her thighs tremble and she tries to shut them, but fails because of Zendaya’s body placed between her legs.

“Z,” she whines. She’s out of breath, but she knows Zendaya wants more out of her.

“I know baby,” she kisses her inner thigh again. “I know it’s too much, but you can take it. I love you so much, you’re such a good girl.”

Zendaya stands up, ready to press herself against Y/n, but not before unbuttoning her shirt. Underneath is a familiar white tank top. It looks like any regular tank top, but Y/n notices the shad near the shoulder which is evidence of a time when she got too carried away. She can never help herself when Zendaya is feverishly going down on her, or filling her up to the point she feels like she’s being split in half. When it just feels too good, all Y/n can do is whine for her.

“Too much,” she cries, yet she’s opening her legs again.

Zendaya’s embrace is soothing but her body is so close to Y/n’s that it has her riled up. Her comment about it being ‘too much’ begins to sound like a lie when she starts gyrating her hips. Her pussy was looking for pleasure again, so Zendaya gave it to her. She pulls Y/n close to the edge and places her leg between her thigh. Y/n instantly begins to grind against her; humping wildly. She reaches her hand down between them and begins to rub her through her pants. Her movements are sloppy and uncoordinated, but she wants to make Zendaya feel good too.

The two engage in a sloppy dance of admiration. Y/n can’t help but feel a little guilty about letting this happen. She’s strong until the very last minute where she destroys her own boundaries just for a taste of pleasure.

She would’ve suffocated in it if it wasn't for the obnoxious ringer interrupting the two of them. She whines embarrassingly loud when Zendaya pulls her leg away and she Y/n no longer feels any pressure on her clit.

“Shit.”

Zendaya is just as annoyed as Y/n when she realizes that the ringing is coming from her back pocket. She doesn’t want to answer, but with a sigh she reaches into her back pocket to see who is interrupting them. She hoped it was just someone a part of her team or a family member she wouldn’t mind sending to voicemail. However, the name on the screen made her heart race, and she knew she couldn’t miss it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Her tone changes completely causing Y/n to become curious. She has heard Zendaya talk on the phone with family, friends, and manager so many times before that she knows what the distinction is. The way she answered the phone is reminiscent of a time where their relationship was something new.

Y/n can hear the voice on the other side of the phone, but she can’t quite make out what they’re saying. Zendaya’s face is hard to read which just agitates her even more. The feeling in the pit of her stomach makes her feel dizzy and nauseous.

“No, no, I didn’t forget I just got caught up with something.”

Something.

Zendaya had to turn away from Y/n as she spoke on the phone. She was desperate to end the call, knowing that she was in the wrong, but she was stuck. She won’t be able to face Y/n once she ends the call.

“Okay…okay…sounds good…I’ll see you soon.”

Neither of them look at each other. Y/n hops off the counter and pulls down her skirt. She feels like someone’s mistress, but it isn’t fair. She was here first, and she always will be here.

“Y/n-“

“It’s okay. You can go.”

Y/n doesn’t turn around to face her which makes Zendaya feel even worse. It’s truly both of their faults for getting themselves into this mess and playing this game, but Zendaya can’t help but feel like she bears most of the burden. She shouldn’t be seeing anyone else while trying to figure things out with Y/n.

Nothing else is said between the two as Zendaya gathers her things and Y/n lets her out the front. She’ll be back tomorrow, Y/n is sure of it, but she hopes that they can both get their shit together by then.

[helianskies]

18 ] - "stop stealing my jumpers!"

With nedport or.....itaport

Does itaport exist outside of my head?

there was an attempt at itaport/portvene bc i was intrigued but i wasnt getting on with it so i uh well nedport it is, anon! sorry! :')

Ours

The first time it happened, Abel took it as a compliment. Henrique had looked not only cosy, but also somewhat amusing, swaddled in a large jumper, the too-long sleeves gathered up his arms, the hem hanging way down below his waist. It had been impossible to resist sneaking up on him from behind, hugging him, risking being smacked by flailing sleeves. And it had been worth it. 

The second time it happened, it was no different. Nor had it been any different the third, forth, fifth, tenth, or twentieth time that Henrique had appeared wearing one of Abel’s nice, thick, woollen jumpers. Something about them suits him. Or perhaps Abel just liked that feeling of the other being constantly wrapped up in his jumper, in his smell, in his warmth.

Today, however, Abel lacks such feelings, such little joys.

Because, while Henrique, already miraculously up and about (he had come into the bedroom and offered Abel his morning cup of coffee) is prancing around once more in one of Abel’s jumpers, when the Dutchman himself goes to get dressed, he opens his cupboard and finds—

“How can I have none to wear…?”

Abel only did the laundry two days ago, and he could have sworn that four of his five jumpers all went back on their hangers, and into his closet in their bedroom. So where on earth…?

The thoughts crosses his mind in a flash—so fast, in fact, when he tries to wrangle it back in it feels like whiplash. But the thought is there, nevertheless, and he can't help but check…

He turns around to face the other closet, which decidedly belongs to Henrique (you can tell whose cupboard is whose quite easily; one is notably neater, the clothes far less creased). He sucks in a slow, deep breath. He opens the doors. And there they are, lined up on the left-hand side: four of Abel's jumpers, that have seemingly magically teleported from one closet to another.

Abel sighs. Perhaps he needs to have a hard conversation with someone and lay down a boundary he'd never thought he'd want or need…

He pulls out one of his jumpers. He carries on getting dressed. And, once all of that is done, and he has returned his warm clothing to their rightful place, he ventures downstairs to find Henrique in the kitchen.

"Sleeping Beauty finally decided to get up then, huh?" his husband remarks over his shoulder as he stirs two cups of coffee. Those too-long sleeves seem to taunt Abel as he approaches. "You know, I'm starting to see why you like getting up early. The amount of stuff I've gotten done in the last hour is insane; I feel so productive!"

Abel hums, the sound rumbling in his throat. He doesn't want to play it down or come across as not interested, but… but he can't help but look from husband to jumper to husband to jumper. And that does not go unnoticed.

“Is everything okay?” Henrique questions, giving Abel a curious, quizzical look as the other struggles to once more tear his gaze away from his beloved cream woolly. “Abe…?”

He takes another patient breath. He knows this is better not left unsaid. So, “I’m going to say something,” he announces, which only seems to amuse the other—the wrong effect, perhaps, “and I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.”

Amusement becomes concern quite fast. "Okay," the other says slowly. "What is it?"

Abel steels himself. He tells him this is the right thing to do. He gestures towards the jumper Henrique is wearing—he even jabs a finger in its direction—and he exclaims, at last, "Stop stealing my jumpers! I'm running out of clothes to wear!"

It takes a few seconds, perhaps, for it to register. And then, Henrique laughs.

"Our jumpers, you mean," his wonderful(ly annoying) husband says—a comment that throws Abel for a loop. "When you agreed to marry me," he continues, "you also kinda agreed to share your stuff with me, too, benzinho."

"I— I don't remember that agreement."

"Mmh, well, that's why you always read the terms and conditions," the other quips, flashing Abel a smile. "You taught me that!”

And with that, Henrique returns to the coffee, and picks up one of the mugs to pass on to Abel. He takes it, of course, but he also can’t believe he’s just been fobbed off like that. This discussion isn’t over, he decides, as he takes a sip of his drink and—ooh, how does he always make such good drinks?—that is that! For now, he’ll let it slide. But he’s taking back his jumpers whether Henrique likes it or not!

Our jumpers… Tch… 

…Well…

…Maybe they could be…

…Sometimes.

[ final wordcount, 790 words! ]

[bad-apple-darlin]

I just finished my rewatch of s2e6… first time I’ve watched it since last summer. So here are my immediate thoughts after the final fifteen (mostly just agony tbh)

Oh boy what a ride that was. I had an intense mounting sense of dread through the whole episode, no lie, knowing exactly what pain was about to be inflicted on me and them. When the Metatron showed up in line at Nina’s I got a shiver even. Then of course Crowley opens the talk, all panicky and rushed, words spilling out of him. The dam is breaking on millennia of suppressed feeling and Aziraphale really just “hold that thought”s him and I can’t take it. Neither can Crowley. The silence of the background is deafening, I noticed that more this time than ever. It’s like time stops between them right there - tell me you said no. If I’m in charge…

The tension snaps and the heartbreak starts to unfold. Crowley makes his petition, his voice breaking in the exact right places to make my heart seize up. We’ve spent our existence - this love is ancient, this love is built into our foundations - pretending that we aren’t. Let’s stop pretending.

Aziraphale wants it; you can see it in the way he leaps forward at Crowley there. He’d take his hands if he could. Come with me - his vision for this version of them in heaven only-even-nicer is only possible if they go together. It means they can be together, openly, honestly, freely - well, free to do Heaven’s bidding. For one heartbeat of a moment, I think Aziraphale sees them wanting the same thing, and thinks he has found a way.

Oh, Crowley. Nothing last forever. And that’s it, I’m in tears, the miscommunication reaches its height and Crowley is shuttering himself to the world and Aziraphale watches his retreat with such open confusion and longing that it makes my stomach turn. They pick at each other, never content to let a scab form, always scratching at it. I don’t think you understand - oh I think I understand better than you do. They tense up again, the anger grows, and as Aziraphale turns away you can see the breath escape Crowley. His shoulders drop, he does this heavy-heart gasp for air before he storms across the shop to Aziraphale and the pure want of it drives me mad. Look at me. Don’t turn away from this. This is important, the most important thing. Don’t leave me alone with this.

And Aziraphale takes it in, pushes into Crowley, meets him for that sublime moment. It almost works. You can see the anguish build on Aziraphale’s face as he tries to process through it - I love - I want - I can’t - I forgive you.

Will any series of facial expressions devastate me more than the moment after Crowley leaves the bookshop? When Aziraphale’s face crumbles as the realization that his life long love is leaving him, the fear and sadness and longing, confusion and hurt. Aziraphale’s hands are trembling and mine are too and I cannot imagine the devastation of losing the one creature in all of creation that you have loved since before the beginning of time itself. The scale and depth of their relationship gives me whiplash to think about. And here, in fifteen minutes, it all starts unraveling at once, the subtleties, the coded language, the unspoken desire, the deep, passionate love. All of it laid bare and then ripped apart, their whole world crushed, and the promise of more destruction to come.

So Aziraphale is on his own, like he hasn’t been for time immemorial. And Crowley is on his own too, but without the anchor points of the precious, peaceful existence he was so attached to. Crowley looks exhausted. Aziraphale looks like an animal realizing that the cage he’s in isn’t meant to protect him, but to keep him trapped. He looks like a madman planning a heist - a magician envisioning his next illusion.

And me, I’m just rolling around wailing because I cannot believe I have to wait so very long to find out how they resolve this. How do they come back from it?? Because they do, no separation lasts long for them, not in proportion to their impossibly long lives. The Metatron walked in not a moment later and Aziraphale thought it was Crowley again, he was ready to hash it out and mend it that fast. Every potential is there. So how?? And when?? How long will it take for Aziraphale to own his feelings for the only being in all of history that he has ever loved? How will Crowley cope with the only loss he has ever really feared? How will I ever go another day without thinking about them and their loss??

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 61 TYRION XIV (pages 770-777)

The Battle of Blackwater - Tyrion Edition, part 2. Tyrion leads a sally outside to defend the gates and banks.

TW: blood and dismemberment

-

On the left, Tyrion was surprised to see Podrick Payne, a sword in his hand. "You're too young," he said at once. "Go back." "I'm your squire, my lord." Tyrion could spare no time for argument. "With me, then. Stay close." He kicked his horse into motion.

Pod! Such a good boy. I like that Tyrion does care enough to try and send Pod back, even if he doesn't succeed, and even if he can't spare any more care in what is about to be a very mentally and emotionally taxing situation.

Ser Mandon dropped the point of his lance at the last possible instant, and drove Joffrey's banner through the chest of a man in a studded jerkin, lifting him full off his feet before the shaft snapped.

While we do not approve of the horrors of war, before this chapter reminds me how viscerally freaking awful things are, I just want to say, from a technical skill stand point with Action Movie goggles on: that was a cool move, full cheers.

aaaand it's setting in how very impaled that man was. Hello Horrors, I was wondering where you'd gone. Maybe I should contact D&D, see where they bought their <Immortal Object> Action Movie goggles.

Ahead of Tyrion was a knight whose surcoat showed a fox peering through a ring of flowers. Florent was his first thought, but helmless ran a close second.

mmm, this is a good bit of action sequence. We have this thought, followed by a laundry list of kills by method, and I do mean laundry list. It manages to give the action a coherence, but also giving it both a detached and frantic energy.

... battle fever? Seems like an adrenaline rush met up with mild disassociation for a hot date.

"I yield, ser," a different knight called out, further down the river. (...) The man lay in a puddle of black water, offering up a lobstered gauntlet in a token of submission. Tyrion had to lean down to take it from him. As he did, a pot of wildfire burst overhead, spraying green flame. In the sudden stab of light he saw that the puddle was not black but red. The gauntlet still had the knight's hand in it. He flung it back. "Yield," the man sobbed hopelessly, helplessly. Tyrion reeled away.

goood, this fucking trope. It gets me every time, even though you always know it's coming in shows, with the camera angle and it's like "Just move the camera, show me what I already know, show me how much of the body is missing, show me how fucked the dying person is."

I think it's worse when they know. When they know but they're still begging for an impossible miracle like there's still some way they could survive it, get out of the situation, wake up and it's all just a horrid dream. Or maybe it's worse when they don't, and they're pleading for their life, but how do you tell someone asking for your help they're already dead.

I need cute cat videos.

One great hulk floated hull up between two smaller ships. Wrecks, but packed so closely together that it was possible to leap from one deck to another and so cross the Blackwater. (...) We made them a bloody bridge, he thought in dismay. Parts of the bridge were sinking and other parts were afire and the whole thing was creaking and shifting and like to burst asunder at any moment, but that did not seem to stop them. "Those are brave men," he told Ser Balon in admiration. "Let's go kill them."

Oh hey it's the line, from the speech, except it didn't go in that speech to begin with.

Also, I don't remember the bridge thing from the show. You've let me down and ripped me off again, D&D.

OH NO! THE HORSES!

GRRM did a really good job with this chapter, the flow of the action from focused in on Tyrion's POV, from concise actions and reactions and build on, to slowly losing contact with what's happening as Tyrion himself looses sense of what's happening. And there's a slight tonal whiplash as well, from Tyrion's focused seriousness, into slightly manic 'battle madness' and then into the post adrenaline fugue as he loses steam.

Yellow and green fire shone against the white of his armor, and his lobstered gauntlet was sticky with blood, but Tyrion reached for it all the same, wishing his arms were longer. It was only a the very last, as their fingers brushed across the gap, that something niggled at him... Ser Mandon was holding out his left hand, why... Was that why he reeled backwards, or did he see the sword after all? He would never know.

Two things with this, first: Lobstered gauntlets by the way, are called that because instead of little plates for each joint, or just one big plate to cover the back of the hand, lobstered gauntlets are kind of like mittens, made with bands that over lap like the bands on a lobsters back/tail. They are not wearing actually lobster shaped gloves complete with pincers. i know, sad but true.

Second: The earlier scene with the man begging to yield with his lobstered gauntlet only for the light of the wildfire to reveal Tyrion was essentially reaching for death being mirrored here? YES! This is the good shit. It's basically immediate pay-off foreshadowing.

Uhn, yes, love! it will haunt my nightmares for a week!

Then someone was kneeling over him. "Jaime?" he croaked, almost choking on the blood that filled his mouth. who else would save him, if not his brother? "Be still, my lord, you're hurt bad." A boy's voice, that makes no sense, thought Tyrion. It sounded almost like Pod.

That's kind of sad, that Tyrion thinks/knows he has so few people who would care for him.

But Yay for Pod!

I'm gonna go... watch some cute cat videos and recover from this chapter. The level of Horrors in this chapter? D&D could never. (Mostly because they were viewing this through Action Movie goggles.)

[manonamora-if-reviews]

Glimmer by Katie Benson

============= Links

Play the game See other reviews of the game Read the Post-Mortem See other games by Katie

============= Synopsis

It's bleak out there. No one would blame you for turning away.

============= Other Info

Glimmer is a Twine (Harlowe) game, submitted to the 2022 Edition of the IFComp. It was ranked 53th overall.

Status: Completed Genre: Slice-of-Life

CW: depiction of depression

============= Playthrough

First Played: 3-Oct-2023 Last Played: 11 Aug 2023 Playtime: around 10min Rating: 3 /5 Thoughts: Short but hopeful story. Kinda.

============= Review

Glimmer is about a person spiraling in helplessness, having a hard time to function around the bleakness of their situation. It is also about hope, and the importance of having caring people around.

Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.

The game is simplistic in both style and visual. A few lines of text, one choice, maybe some extra interactive links to add description. It is straight to the point. The world is bleak, so you turn your back to it. You face some hardship, so you avoid them. Little by little, you close yourself to everything around you. But, at your lowest point, a hand reaches out to you to pull you out of your funk (forcibly if you resist), reminding you that there are still good things out there to enjoy.

I thought the game started out strong, with tackling themes of drifting and avoidance turning into depression and isolation (though it felt at time a tad too surface-level in its representation), when faced with a bleak world and difficulties in your life. The whole losing your joie de vivre and vicious cycle of negativity.

However, I found the whole second act... dissonant almost? In your darkest moment, an unnamed friend* barges (back?) into your life, gives you a cup of tea and a biscuit, and like that, you snap out of it, awkwardly and timidly claiming you tried to get better all this time. When the first part of the game implied quite some time had passed between the first event of the spiral and current time, it feels like a whiplash to have a "recovery" happening so suddenly. This feeling was aggravated when choosing to resist the friend's pleas does little to change the outcome. As if by magic, you get better by the last page. After just a cup of tea. *I really didn't like that you would not even acknowledge their personhood, I think that's also a reason why it felt weird.

I still haven't made my mind about the (lack of) choices and what it means for the player agency. I've come to appreciate more the kinetic approach of storytelling in IF, and considering how debilitating depression can be, making you think you do not have a choice, it is thematically in line with the story. However, the few available choices lack in consequence or are essentially disregarded by the story, which makes the little agency the player has essentially useless. It felt a bit frustrating and unsatisfying.

I did appreciate the message the game was trying to convey, but I don't think the game quite manage to get the point across.

=============

OG Review during the IFComp:

Short but hopeful story. Kinda.

There is something so tragic with this story that did not hit me right away. One my first playthrough, I dismissed it as dealing with the surface-level aspect of isolation (whether by your environment/other people or yourself). Maybe it has to do with the way the writing portrays the indifference of the main character about what is happening around them and to them. It really shows how easy and how fast it is to become completely isolated and how much effort is required to get out of that pervasive cycle. I only realised how subtle this was until my second run.

Still, I am not sure how I feel yet about the game as a whole. The forcefulness of the friend in contrast with the absolute passiveness of the player made me feel a bit awkward. Even when you choose not to follow your friend, you don’t really have a choice in the matter at the end. The “recovery” of the player also felt a bit rushed*? I know sometimes it can take just a message to be “brought back to the living” for some people, but it felt a bit too fast when the first part of the game saw the player spiralling into deep despair.

The choices also don’t have any consequences at all, which I think is a shame. Even when isolating yourself, you still have agency about what to do (even if you end up choosing to isolate yourself more every time) and your action have consequences to yourself and the people in your circle. That felt a bit lacking? That or the MC has a really nice friend.

Overall, this was a short and concise story, but it also left me unsatisfied.

[misquigleya]

thoughts below my dudes spoilers be extra heavy

getting some big ole "lost" vibes from that whole freezing to death scene with lottie, don't know how i feel about that cause "lost" fucked us over in the end and i'm still not over it all these years later. so. yj writers...don't let me down

akilah was precious with the little mouse / shrew ( not exactly sure what it was but it was cute ) and her being the only one really semi-clinging to "normalcy" with still studying for the STATS? i'm rooting for you bby girl pls do not follow in mari's footsteps

speaking of mari....girl if you find yourself wondering why you were chosen for the next bbq....think back to all the BEEF you were starting and having with everyone in that cabin like a;sdklfj pull your head out of your ass lmao

benny boy, my dude, my home-skillet....pls don't ask the "vicious monsters" what they would have / will do if you're chosen / selected for the next feast cause that just not a good thing to be putting in their heads. also you should have used your crutch against mari cause girly really be squaring up with you like ma'am that is a full grown adult man...sit your ass down

LAURA LEE PLEASE COME BACK CAUSE YOUR GF IS LOSIN IT BABES like...lottie really does need a voice of reason and i think that's what laura lee was to her aside from the og believer and thinking she [lottie] had a direct line to "god" with knowing what's up with the wilderness and shit

....javi being alive was not on my bingo card but i don't think he's completely out of the woods ( ha ) just yet cause it's still possible that he could not have been one of the, i'm assuming, 8 survivors. but we shall see but i know for certain that nat's gonna get an ear full from travis / the others cause of the whole "finding" his [javi] pants in the tree. but i had a feeling that it would come back and bite her in the ass...just not in the form of javi being alive

i love vanessa palmer so much like that's my butch lesbian <3 love that they own a little shop and it looks like it involves their interests, etc. absolutely love it for van

tai you need to talk to someone and i hope you actually talk to van about like....everything leading up to you just randomly showing up to their place of business which....other tai seems to be in more control???? like the whole breaking into jessica robert's place and finding the info to find van then "waking up" on the side of the road with no gas. way pass sleep walking and eating dirt and that don't sound good nor could it mean good is to come of it

shauna and jeff, mom and dad, you need to get it together but i'm with jeff in the way that shauna should not have told callie that she killed adam, that jeff knew, and helped get rid of the evidence. like it just...SHE'S TALKING TO A 30+ YEAR OLD CREEPO COP which i get it, she doesn't know that but still. she's already leaked that shauna did have an affair with adam and that just shines some shit light on shauna and jeff and just....baby what is you doin

something that was on my bingo card and that is having me squinting even harder at walt is the whole story about him having won a settlement and "surviving" an accident. also proclaiming himself to be a millionaire???? oh you mean hottie lottie's bread and jam aka the type of folks that come to cult camp???? nah. walt has def gotta be involved someway cause it makes sense; lottie knows how misty is/was and she could have seen that walt was the same ( if he wasn't fucking coached to be that way ) and pointed him in misty's direction cause it could be the perfect way to get misty to the cult camp though i'm sure misty would have found a way to get HER WOMAN back one way or another

and now to the biggest thing i have screamed with the wifey ( @scatcrccio ) ....if these writers are dicking me around with mistnat/NaSTY being a thing after teasing it so fuckin hard last season oN TOP OF THE ACTORS BOTH SHIPPING IT....i will get violent. it's giving me too much whiplash and flashbacks to killing eve and i just can not go through that kinda shit again. so if tHE WRITERS COULD PLEASE JUST EASE UP ON THE POTENTIAL SHIPS AND REFOCUS ON MISTNAT....that'd be fuckin super duper

....also absolutely no offence to lottie/nat or nat/lisa shippers like you do you boo-boo but i'm delusional and floating down the denial river grasping at mistnat and i need it to be canon okay????

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 24th April

An exercise in contrasts this week. I can't think of a double A-side with more disparate vibes. Not that I find them particularly memorable, in general - you generally get one side that's actually good and one that's just kind of there - but still, the change in energy between these two Pat Boone numbers is enough to give you whiplash. Thankfully, both sides of it have their charms, so I can't really complain.

A Wonderful Time Up There - Pat Boone (peaked at Number 2)

The first few notes of this lie to you, as Pat starts with a really slow Well, now, preparing you for a ballad. And then immediately we up the pace to something that's just alarmingly quick. We're rocking and rolling, but, like, really fast! We're not quite into tongue-twister territory, but Pat's really packing those syllables in. Honestly, it's quite a pleasant change from some of his sleepier offerings, recently.

And it turns out there's a reason for Pat's haste - you see, this is a song about the second coming, about how everybody's gonna have religion and glory / Everybody's gonna be a-singin' that story. As such, there's a genuine time crunch, a sense that the apocalypse might be coming, and coming soon: Brother, there's a reckonin' a-comin' in the mornin' / Better get ready 'cause I'm givin' you the warnin'. Heady stuff.

In true gospel music fashion, we have a real mix of emphasis on the excitement and goodness of heaven, with lines about how everbody's gonna have a wonderful time up there (glory, hallelujah) or some ( theologically dubious) lines about how we're gonna be rewarded for the things we've done, along also some more fire and brimstone bit, with Pat asking his listeners questions like How you gonna feel about the things you'll say on that judgement day? or Are you gonna be among the chosen few?

It's not that this is a wrong mix of things to put into the song - it's probably one of the more honest explanations out there of the Christian view of the end of things, abeit one that's definitely a bit lacking in Jesus - but the rock and roll "party" sound combined with some of the heavier lines does create a pretty weird sense of cognitive dissonance. The song seems like it wants to both put you into a party mood and scare you into trusting in the Lord. I don't mind it, but I can absolutely see why you might now. Especially because Pat does manage to sound pretty smug throughout. I mean, the emphasis on being rewarded for the things you did definitely comes off a bit self-satisfied, and lines later one, like the one where he urges you to read Revelations if you can understand - and you can if you try, also have a distinctly patronising vibe to them. Like, yes, I do personally think you can get a lot from Revelations, but do you have to be like that about it, Pat?

Thankfully, the song still makes me happy. Partly this is simply due to the sound of it, which is like nothing we've really heard so far. You've got a lot of clapping, some guitar and what sounds like a xylophone (?) but mostly, this song lives and dies on the backing singers, who join in prominently enough that the whole song has a sort of pseudo-a cappella vibe. It's fun, and the sheer pace of it covers a multitude of sins, including an absolute clanger of a key change that somehow, at the song's breakneck pace, kind of works? Or at least doesn't deratil it completely. I'm not convinced that the song actually needs the energy that the key change imparts, but that's not a problem, per se. So yeah. Not, despite it all, a bad song.

It's Too Soon to Know - Pat Boone (7)

And then, as if to make up for all the pace and excitement of the last track, we get this. A terminally sleepy track that calms you right the way down. It's a storied track, having first been recorded by the Orioles back in 1948. That first version has been credited as the first rock and roll track, which is kind of cool. But then here we are, ten years later, listening to Pat's honestly pretty soporific version, and it really doesn't sound like he's added much in the intervening years. We could have been listening to this back in 1952, easily enough.

Lyrically, I do like it, though. It's simple, and there's a real vulnerability to the lyrics, as Pat asks does she love me? It's too soon to know, / Can I believe her when she tells me so? He's in love, but it's all pretty new, and he's not sure if his girl is really taking it seriously: am I the first, or just another flame? He never comes out and says that he loves her, but he does acknowledge that he will be heartbroken if his attraction to her is one-sided, and then, in what's maybe my favourite moment of the whole thing, Pat also admits that If she don't love me, let her tell me so / I won't hold her if she wants to go / Though I'll cry when she's gone / I won't die, I'll live on. Which is just a beautiful and nuanced sentiment that you don't find in pop songs often enough. There's not a sense that Pat would blame his girl for just not having feelings for him. And he knows it would make him sad, but he's still tentative enough about their relationship that he also knows it wouldn't completely break him. It's a really honest kind of lyric - all credit to the Orioles' songwriter!

As I hinted at, Pat's version is sleepy, just him singing quite quietly, a piano, a faint guitar picking out chords, and a few pretty subtle backing singers. It's very light, very delicate, and it really suits Pat, here. I started off finding it a bit too sleepy, but the more I've listened, the more I've become convinced that actually, with the lyrics, it works really well. In a song about tentativeness and uncertainty, you really can't attack it too hard. And there's a restrained emotion to the delivery, you can't help but feel for Pat, a little. It's not a song about passion or desperation or wild delirium, it's a song about affection and anxiety and fledgeling hope. Of course it sounds like this, you know?

Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised by both of these songs. I've been a little down on Pat, but this set of songs was really quite good. I mentioned in the intro that the change of pace gave me whiplash at first, and that's still true. But I think that's a feature, not a bug - you aren't at risk of confusing them with each other, at any rate, and you feel like you've got two properly different records for your money. At first I was convinced that I preferred A Wonderful Time Up There. It's lyrics were a little questionable, but musically it just had me convinced. Plus It's Too Soon to Know was boring. But then I listened more to ITStK's lyrics, and they really make that song pop. Enough that I actually want to go listen to other versions of the song. So, surprising even myself, I think I ave to crown the nothingy ballad as my champion this week.

Favourite song of the bunch: It's Too Soon To Know