#but i do miss those fandom days
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Feeling oddly nostalgic for the old 2013/14 Tumblr days. Back then I had a dedicated fandom blog with a fairly sized following (1.5k) and had a regular TMI Tuesday anon ask box each week. Thing is, because I was even then, slightly older than the majority of others in the fandom, it was a mixture of just I-need-to-get-this-off-my-chest tmi shit, mixed with agony aunt style Q&A's with a lot of baby queers who had just entered puberty. As an older LGBT+ person, I ended up acting as a surrogate older sister to a lot of regular anons. Looking back at this, I can't say whether it was appropriate, or if in most cases I even helped, but I remember almost every individual who reached out and I really hope things got better for those kids. I say kids, I think most of them are closer to 30 than 20 now.
#idk why im sharing this#but i do miss those fandom days#ended up leaving due to crazy toxicity levels#but i remember the anons and i hope theyre well#delete later
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Bit of a shame I left hp before I entered svsss because one of my favourite tropes at the time was 'dumbledore calls in External Support from different fandom during ootp and they show up to grimmauld to help (and utterly upstage everyone in the process)'.
And needless to say Sqq, at any point, would have been perfect.
Like. He's a teacher too. A scholar. Secretly from the modern world so he'd have no trouble with its intricate and mysterious workings, incidentally making himself look very cool and competent in the process. He'd have So Many Opinions. He'd incite bloody war with umbridge. He'd project his feelings for sj onto Snape with a side of commiseration for his role and fate. He'd mostly pretend to know so much less about hp than he actually does (which, hilariously, he canonically name drops in svsss, AND his system is pretty heavily implied to have previously worked in, like wow). He'd be constantly comparing Harry with lbh. He'd have a running internal dialogue bemoaning the world building, the characters, Harry's fate, the general decision making process, maybe some death of the author. Geeking out about magic. Raiding the library whenever he's free.
He might bring his students as part of an exchange, he might bring a fellow peak lord if it was a serious mission (liushen anyone?) he could bring adult lbh. Maybe sqh? Or sqh could be the messenger with the system and/or mbj.
A self aware character who couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least try to change Harry's fate whether or not he actually likes the kid? He could canon that divergence before you could say horcrux. That kind, oblivious, smoking hot exotic teacher who had people ruining their lives for him in a world that was used to people that pretty and also hated him specifically?? The hogwarts students wouldn't stand a CHANCE.
Man the scenes are coming to me so strongly I almost want to write it just as a like. Satire piece or something. Just Sqq ripping everything to shreds, accidentally or not. Diatribes on the author biases. Unintentional themes. Iffy world building choices. Nothing new, but through the lens of svsss' Sqq it'd be something for sure XD.
#Okay imagine. Sqq and umbridge being introduced side by side at the start feast.#And you've got a) condescending ugly old government stooge invader. Short and round. Terrible fashion sense. Trying too hard.#B) the most ethereal person you've ever seen in your life. Flawless glossy classy af. Tall and slender. Immortal from a distant land. Sword#This makes umbridge feel humiliated and inferior (this makes her much more vicious from the start) and Sqq is just ranting internally#About the meta textual correlation of beauty and morality which a) yikes b) he's wondering if anyone in the hp universe has realised#Or used to their advantage (he has a paragraph on riddles beauty he weaponised and then lost)#Kind patient a good teacher he's got a sword and supports the Prank Resistance those poor boarding school kids would WORSHIP#And they'd make it so hard to be oblivious lmao.#Ooooh flying swords vs brooms quidditch?#He'd 100% do a class or session on trans issues just to be petty#I do miss hp and the sheer size and breadth of the fandom on occasion but well. You know how it is#svsss#hp#harry potter#scum villain#crossover#fic ideas#fic prompt#He'd join spew and in a day everyone in school would support it lmao#shen qingqiu
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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my connor plushie is done.... should i post him now or wait until i finish hayden and risa....
#cal has thoughts#unwind dystology#he looks REALLY cute#these plushies are very small but connor was first and he took me like. four days bc i didnt work on him for two of those days#and i had a big learning curve with the glue#hayden and risa should both take a day each if i play my cards right....#anywya I've been gone for ages bc ive just been working on this plush and doing other things#i miss u unwind fandom
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sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.
#god i really really don’t want to do this. but i have to but i don’t want to but i have to but i don’t want to. and so on. you get the gist#though i guess i am more not wanting to let go of an idea or fantasy rather than reality#like i always wanted to be an active participant in fun oc art fandom writing etc etc communities#but all i really did was make way too many people uncomfortable with my worthless stuff.#like it and me are just not built for interacting with people lmao. especially when it comes to stuff like my characters or uh.#i don’t know you can’t call it art or writing just uh. creations i guess.#and like i knew that before i made this blog but then people started interacting with me and i thought hey maybe this’ll work out maybe i#can be better and then i so wasn’t. and for that i am very sorry.#(and i mean this is not the main reason why i feel like i have to do this but i can’t just go back like nothing happened on here lmao.#i deleted 90% of my shana posts i had/am having a crashout i gotta at least follow through after being so embarrassing#after being even more insufferable than usual haha. and if i stayed there would be even more people who feel obligated to stay around#i feel. and i so don’t want that. so just one more reason why i gotta be brave and just fucking do it.)#also i do realise that there’s the possibility of not deactivating and just logging off and leaving but every time i took a break like that#i always like felt a bit ‘better’/delusional & thought it’d be ok to return. sure that’ll happen again.which is why i have to be so drastic#like even if i made a new blog i know myself well enough to know that i’ll be too embarrassed to reach out to anyone again.#so it would really be a working solution to this problem. i really should just do it.#romeo’s wretched rambles#also a message to everyone telling me that they like shana and that he’s not a shit character to obsess over & more importantly share#with folks: appreciate the sentiment but there’s a lot of his evil you don’t know about.#i was implying some stuff here and there and some people i’ve told more privately but even they are missing like 25% of the shana.#those being the absolute worst parts of him. i am still absolutely obsessed with him but that’s my error to fix and i can’t subject#people to that anymore in good conscience. seeing people say they like him actively feels like i’m pulling a shana myself and deceiving#people with lies of omission sometimes. remember that lol. obviously ik that there r big differences but sometimes it just feels awful stil#so maybe he’s better contained in a separate private blog that i can torch once i get over this rot and just be done with this fucking char#again i don’t mean to say that i don’t appreciate the support but i’m sure many of your guys’ opinions would change If You Knew. you know.#(god. with the lies of omission thing. every day i learn more abt how i subconsciously write things that make me deeply uncomfortable lol)#(and that i fear. like. that wasn’t even intentional when i gave him that trait. i just realised that while typing this pointless mess lmao#anyways. thanks for readin if you made it this far. send me anon hate or something. hit me with an anvil and spit on my corpse if you will#i hope that at least by the end of this week i will have put my brave pants on and decided on what to do. sorry for being so annoying.
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#people very much want to blame readers for a lack of engagement with fic these days but frankly i think this is.... incorrect#we need to be real about WHAT ao3 is#it is an archive#it is not a space that is particularly conducive to social engagement#the most collaborative experiences i ever had around fic happened on livejournal#it was not on ff.net#like i agree that there is a depressing drop off in like...idk the idea of the social acceptability of leaving comments#and a far more pronounced divide between readers and authors#but this isn't happening bc readers suck now and they're selfish and entitled which frankly is how many posts opining about this issue sound#it's not like lurking or sorting by complete works only is NEW#these are things that have always happened#what has CHANGED imo is that the spaces where fic happens and the spaces where fandom happens are now very different#and isolated from one another#and we can blame readers for not bridging that gap all we want but it's not gonna fix it#especially since we know how well shaming people for Not Enjoying Things Correctly tends to go#like i don't have an answer to this problem but i think this ''you're entitled!'' ''no YOU'RE entitled'' back and forth#between writers and readers certainly isn't going to fix anything either#it's only going to push those two groups further away from each other#to my mind what we need is a) a platform more conducive to collabortive fic writing and fandom interaction#(think LJ or old dedicated fandom message boards)#and b) a cultural shift within fandom spaces away from this idea that authors are like... untouchable or whatever#bc from what I have observed authors who DON'T have this issue are ones who started creating fanworks from within a pre-existing friendgroup#a pre-existing readership really#and these little subsets then grow into larger readerships#the problem is how partioned all these group start#and that i think is a byproduct of an overall more hostile fandom space where people feel like they can't speak or create openly#without being in danger of running afoul of some fandom scold and their lackeys#like fandom has never lacked for drama but i do think in a post-tumblr/twitter fandom space we can all agree that shit jas gotten Buckwild#*gestures at how bg3 fandom recently speedran fandom insanity primarily on twitter*#shit is different these days and blaming each other for that is missing the forest for the trees
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Whenever I see a new picture lately my mind goes "I used to be obsessed with THAT?! Thank fuck I got glasses"
Like fr nothing does it for me anymore, the spark is dead but it's still entertaining, like watching a car catch on fire
As Childish Gambino would say, "hot like a PARKED CAR."
#Iykyk#Former fandom thoughts#I do miss having a muse tho lol#Ive gotten very good at separating the character from the actor#Lmaooo#Anyway#Fake activism always saves the day for those mediocre white men doesnt it#☺️☺️☺️
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I miss the stucky fandom from the 2020-2022 era, it was so lively with so many amazing people and there was so much good content going around
#remember remember#we were all in lockdown so we had nothing else to do but be here all day long#and so many fics got written in those years#so many great artists were active#and generally the tumblr dashboard was always full and alive#i understand that now we started living our lives again and a lot of people don't have time for fandom anymore#but it's also because marvel did some good damage with all the bullshit they produced after endgame#and new generations that come on here sadly don't really contribute much because they think it works like Instagram#liking posts isn't enough if you want to see more content#i miss those days and i miss so many of those people that now are inactive#i hope you are all doing well and i wish you all the best#dready rambles#stucky
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What if I say what most streaming services are doing(releasing all episodes at once) shouldn’t be a thing in the first place(except maybe for shows like BBC Sherlock lmao)
#coz shows just feels better when I can theorise what’s gonna happen next week#and like I get to interact with the fandom more on a weekly basis#plus I love going home every night to watch a show I was expecting#watching weekly TV was how I dealt with high school#because no matter how shit my day is I can always go home and watch the flash having a even more shitty day#idk might be nostalgia doing its thing I just miss those times
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you know who I should bring back? my first ever twilight muse - victoria
#those were some wild days in the twilight rp fandom and I was kinda young and dumb and honing my writing skills but I do miss her#cheerful oblivion ( ooc )
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🎶I have this thing where I make a new show/album my personality every 3-6 months—🎶
#rn it’s new girl#October was Steven universe which is painfully ironic in hindsight#😀#AND ALSO AGATHA ALL ALONG we had two shows in the fall thank goodness#we had a brief book of bill obsession#this summer was tortured poets#last spring it was the office#what will the next one be#ladybug? pnf?#I love both of those shows but it’s not really healthy for me to make them my personality😅#I’m hoping to like#be excited but chill for all the new content#it is cool that the two shows that really got me into fandom will likely be airing new stuff at the same time tho#I do need to finish adventure time but I don’t see myself becoming obsessed with that beyond the pre existing bubbaline obsession#anyway#fandom#cadence rambles#ik there’s lots of newer Disney cartoons as well but i just don’t find myself intrigued by any of them#I miss the high fantasy of toh and amphibia but that era is over#I’m not really interested in the misadventures of a bunch of random children on an island 😅#NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO WATCH THAT OR GOD FORBID WORKS ON IT#I’m just not the target demographic and not intrigued that’s ok!#I’m enjoying stuff about adults more these days (other than stuff I grew up with)#like new girl they’re all in their late 20s and barely have their lives together and I’m only 24 it just makes me feel normal and alright#rather than looking back to my past and mourning what I could have been#anyway. diary entry over.
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i hate being overly invested in amusement park rides because one second i'm like "defunctland is so cool, i love learning about all this old shit" and the next i'm all "the fuck do you mean, they're getting rid of fire in the hole" and cry about it for two days straight
#defunctland#and only one person at work knew what the hell fire in the hole was bc i'm like the only local there#if you've never rode fire in the hole please please PLEASE ride it before it closes! it's my favorite dark ride ever!#i get that silver dollar city is having issues maintaining its older rides but to do this when i'm still mourning lost river?#as much as i love sdc as a whole the old rides just hit different and i'm gonna miss them so much#there are only two fandom deaths i have cried about for more than a day and those would be yellowfang and fire in the hole#my post#alexandria rambles
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promise i’m not disappearing again! i just got unexpectedly busy these last few days, but i’ll be around to write either tonight or tomorrow!! i hope everyone’s doing alright and enjoying their week so far 💜
#get ready to ramble | ooc#i got an interview thursday and i wanna AAAHHH y’know but it’s fine it’s fine#alsoooo what if i did something silly like bring back some kny muses… i dunno but lately i miss them#i might do a lil rewatch and if i do that then i’ll likely find my inspo for those muses again#but i’m not sure that i’ll branch very far into the fandom/rpc itself#i met some cool partners bc of the rpc but i’m also a lil wary these days#anyway anyway!! i gotta get ready for the day — gonna see some friends B)#be good and be safe!! mwah mwah!!
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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i have so many images and concepts in me. and. they wont. come out
#tide of consciousness#im suffering. suffrin. haha#i miss. time cookie days. i psoted sooo many images. i even posted my cringe ass comics... and those cringe ass comics gave me. friends...#the stars and the universe itself are conspiuring against me so that. my images. will Never see the light of day#there wlill be no isat posting on pain of death. apparently. i can only make textposts. I HAVE SO MANY IMAGES#ive made two isat aus already. im insane. isat has made me insane. this is a category 4 hyperfixation event#USUALLY IM ALL OVER TUMBLR WHEN THIS HAPPENS...#BUT NO! NO! NO! I'LL DIE~~~ I'LL DIE#hurgh. hghrughh. hhhururugh. maybe ill#maybe ill do the thing where people have sideblogs for specific fandoms. im not very good at those#but maybe ill feel less . awful. and death. about posting#maybe
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I miss Friend....
#The good days of yanvn tumblr bro#Do yall remember those text formats memes and everything#It makes me realize how long I've been in this fandom#Duality hadn't even had a vn out back then and I was reading 14dwy posts on my shitty ah tablet#Like#All the yan vn characters were friends and everything#But I understand that shit happens and all but man I just miss it#It feels like everybody's went away#All that drama that started the downfall should have never happened hhhhhg#yandere vn#yandere visual novel#yandere#male yandere#visual novel#yandere male
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