#but i do know he was an immigrant and came over as an adult; so possibly less likely to have renounced but again idk

[pocket-mobster]

decided im gonna look into getting italian dual citizenship, and if i find out i don't qualify, i will be very mad for no good reason

[msnanu]

Life Twist 01 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren't expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK's noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 5k+

⏤ author's note❧ I just wanted to state that this is the first time I write a fic - so bear with me, please 😌 - also just as an FYI, I don't have an specific schedule to update since you know.. adult life hahaha but I'm already working on next chapter. I love this story and I hope you get to love it as much as I do 💜

You were finishing unpacking your clothes when your phone started to ring, you smiled seeing that your screen was flashing with Chris’s name on it. Christian – aka Chris – has been your best friend since you were 15, you met him during your high school years through acquaintances and you clicked immediately.

You both feel like you’re each other’s soulmate but of course only in a platonic way, although a lot of people tend to misinterpret and think that there’s more to your friendship. It’s hard for people to understand that a woman and a man can be just friends without any sexual desires but to be honest at this point of your life you don’t care about what others might think of your relationship with your best friend.

‘Hey y/n, finished unpacking yet?’ asks your best friend with his chirpy tone as soon as you pick up the call

‘Hey Chris, ughhhhh no... still working on it, but I promise I’m making progress, I finished with almost every room of the apartment, I’m cleaning up in my bedroom right now. I think by tomorrow I might have everything in order’ you say while biting your lip and looking at your clothes scattered all over the new assembled bed, I mean... at least it doesn’t look any more like a tornado came through your window

‘I told you I could’ve helped you; you can be so stubborn sometimes’ you hear your friend sigh and although you can’t see him you know he’s shaking his head at you

‘No no…You’ve already helped me enough, if it wasn’t for you, I would never had the balls to move to another country – so take a rest of me, bestie’ And that is totally true, he had helped you with all the immigration bureaucracy, he also basically got your new apartment. While you were still at your native country, he went on apartment hunting and showed you the different options you had through videocalls, gave you tons of tips so you wouldn't miss anything while moving to another country since he had experience in that area. After all, he had moved to Seoul 2 years prior to you.

‘You would’ve done the same for me, we both know that!’ you smile while hearing your friend because you know that’s also true, you both would do anything for each other without hesitating.

He doesn’t give you the chance to respond anything and keeps going: ‘Anyways, I was actually calling you to invite you to a birthday party tonight – it’s Jackson’s birthday, remember I told you about him? He’s that friend that works at my gym. We were talking today, and I might have slipped that you moved to Seoul recently and he told me to invite you, he really wants to meet you’

‘Me? Why would he want to meet me?’ you respond with a surprised tone

‘According to Jackson’s words and I quote: he is really curious to get to know the only girl I’ve retained in my life without sleeping with her’ he says with amusing tone

He cackles when he hears you snorting ‘Wow, now that’s a good way to convince me to go to a birthday party of someone that I don’t even know’

‘It might not be the best invitation but at least is a chance to meet new people and make some friends’ he says that since he knows you struggle when it comes to meeting new people

‘Um..I have friends, I have you’ you respond almost immediately

‘You’re a sweetheart but I’m talking about other people than me, although you know how I love all your attention on me, babe’he says while chuckling because he’s already imagining how you’re rolling your eyes at him after you heard that pet name

‘Oh my god you’re so full of yourself – ughh, okay you’re right, I should get to know new people. New country, new life… new friends I guess’, you say a little insure knowing you’re not the most sociable person in the world but it would be kind of nice to have people to hang out other than Chris

‘And maybe you can get some action too, it’s been what? A year without any proper activity?’ he talks without any filter like he usually does

‘Wha- Okay, I’m hanging up on you. I’m not in the mood to talk about my sex life right now’ you respond acting offended though you both know that you're just teasing each other

‘Or the lack of –’ When Chris hears your gasp he chuckles and says immediately ‘Sorry sorry, just kidding bestie, I’ll pick you up around 9PM, don’t make me wait pleaseeee, byeeeee byeeeeee see ya. I love you’

You can’t even get mad at him for calling you out on your sadly lack of sex, it’s not like he’s wrong. So, you just laugh it off and respond by saying ‘Fuck off - You’re unbelievable. K, don’t worry I’ll be ready when you get here. See u later, love you too” 

Once you end your call with Chris, you grab some of the last items left in the moving boxes. You come upon a frame, it's a picture of you and your dad when you were 4 years old on your summer vacations at a swimming pool where he was teaching you how to swim. One of the many things that your dad taught you in life. Your eyes start to feel watery at the sight of your dad's sweet smile and with a deep sigh you give a kiss to the picture. You place the frame on your nightstand and while cleaning a few tears that dropped on your cheeks you can only whisper - "I really hope I'm making you proud dad, I'm finally looking for my happiness ".

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

You look at yourself in the mirror, thinking you did a decent work with your make up and cleaned yourself up pretty good after a long day of putting everything in order at your new apartment. You weren't so sure on what to wear for Jackson's birthday party, so you just went for an all-black outfit: leather jacket, mini leather skirt, a Ramones shirt that you love and combat boots.

After looking at your reflection in the mirror one last time, you took a selfie and sent it over to Chris to ask him if you were dressed properly for the occasion, which he replied with: 'You look gorgeous babe, almost too perfect for the occasion! I'll pick you up in about half an hour ;)' – you can’t help but smile at his compliment. You know he's nothing but honest with you, whenever he had to tell you that you looked like shit, he would do it. And of course, it goes both ways.

Your best friend is punctual as always, 9PM sharp he was at your building entry texting you that he was outside your home. Jackson’s place wasn’t that far away from yours, only about 10 minutes on a car drive. While Chris was driving, you chit chatted about your exhausting day, and he told you that this girl – Hani was her name you wanna say? - that he’s been hooking up for the past month asked him the golden question ‘What are we? Where is our relationship going?’ and that’s where Chris decided to put an end to the hooking up. He just doesn’t want anything serious right now and is totally understandable.

From what your friend has told you, Hani got really upset at his response, although to be fare... he did warn her when they started hooking up that he wasn't looking for anything serious, he’s not an asshole that goes around giving false hopes to any girl.

It’s been like this with Chris for a while now, he did had a girlfriend a few years ago and they dated for about 3 years until he found out that she was cheating him with her boss – pretty shitty move if you ask me – she broke his heart and after that he hasn’t been in a serious relationship with anyone, just hook ups until the girl finally gets tired of being just ‘friends with benefits’, that’s how it usually goes.

When you finally arrive at Jackson’s you start to feel slightly nervous, it’s been a while since you got to meet new people and it’s in a total new environment, new country... totally different cultures, a lot to take in. Chris knowing you, holds your hand tightly for a moment and before entering to his friend’s house tells you ‘Don’t worry, he and his friends are all pretty cool people, they’ll love you - now come on, let’s go and start socializing!’. You chuckle at his enthusiasm and as soon as you enter, you’re greeted by Jackson holding a red cup with beer on it.

Jackson smiles at you and your friend and says ‘You’re y/n, right? Wow, you’re even hotter that what I imagined – sorry I don’t mean to be unrespectful, but you know how weird is to see that this guy over here has a female friend and didn’t sleep with her yet? Anyways, it’s so nice to meet you finally, I’m Jackson’ and he immediately gives you a hug which it honestly startled you.

You chuckle and once he’s finished with the hug, you respond ‘I know, it’s always amusing to see how people get surprised that we’re really just best friends. Um, it’s nice to meet you too and happy birthday! Thanks for inviting me over’ you say shily

He keeps smiling at you while he also hugs your best friend (apparently, he’s a hugger) and says ‘Chris’s friends are also my friends, so please make yourself at home – I haven’t invited a lot of people because I actually have a small group of friends, come with me and I’ll introduced them’ and you both follow him to the living room going through a large hall – which by the way, is so freaking beautiful, you can’t stop staring the marble floors and beautiful art works hanging on the walls and you think to yourself how amazing this apartment looks – your thoughts are interrupted by the group of people who’s now in front of you having a discussion about who was the largest hands in the group - though you're not sure you heard right -

And then Jackson speaks getting everyone’s attention ‘Guys, this is y/n, Chris’s best friend – yes, she’s really his friend and she is a woman, I know!! How crazy it sounds, huh? She just moved to Seoul from basically the other side of the world so be nice to her’

One of the guys with a boxy smile says to Jackson ‘Hey! –  we are always nothing but nice, she’ll think poorly of us if you say it like that!’ and Jackson just laughs it off and starts to introduce each and one of them. There’s 10 people right in from of you – which to you, it sounds like a lot of friends, you never had more than 3 o 4 friends (one of them always being Chris of course) so 10 sounds like a lot of people – you learn that the guy with the boxy smile is called Taehyung, then there’s Namjoon, Seokjin – though he told you to call him Jin -, Jimin, Yoongi, Hoseok – or Hobi how he introduced himself - , Aria – which you learn is Hobi’s girlfriend -, Joey, Emma – Joey’s girlfriend – , and last but not least Jungkook who smiled you shily and waved his hand to greet you from afar – you almost gasp at how this last guy seemed like he was built by the God’s themselves, you felt like you wanted to look up to the sky and say ‘WOW, well done!’ – to be honest, they were all insanely attractive but there was something that caught your attention straight to Jungkook and you couldn’t quite wrap on your finger what was it.

The night went smoothly, they all seem to be really friendly and made you feel comfortable as if you were one of them already. You spent most of the time hearing their stories about the last trip they went to last year – Hobi’s parents own a lake house in Chuncheon, which you learn is about an hour away from Seoul – and they’re planning to go again in the next month or so – and you’ve been invited to go with them by Hobi himself which you gladly accepted and thanked him for including you even when you just exchanged a few words with him throughout the night.

Your red cup was empty for the third time by now, so you got up and approached to the table were all the drinks were placed and poured yourself some Soju, while you were at it you feel someone approaching you and then a sweet voice sounds saying ‘Are you having a good time so far?’, you look up and realize that is Jungkook who’s now besides you also pouring himself a drink while he smiles at you.

You also smile at him and respond ‘Yes, I really am. Honestly you guys made me feel really comfortable, I tend to be a lot shier when I meet new people, but I don’t feel that way at all with you’

‘I’m glad you feel that way, sometimes these guys can get loud, me myself included, and people look at us like we’re weirdos’ he chuckles and sees you just nodding while you giggle at him and then he continues ‘Mmh, mind if I ask you what made you move in all across the other side of the world? I don’t wanna intrude, I’m just curious’  

Although you feel comfortable talking to him, you don’t want to get into much detail... at least not yet, telling your whole story about how after your dad’s passing last year you felt like you needed to work in your happiness because you knew that’s all your dad wanted, for you to be happy. You don’t dwell on how you realized that you needed to break up your 9-year-old relationship with your boyfriend – now ex-boyfriend – because you really didn’t share anything in common anymore, you grew out towards different paths, and neither of you wanted to accept it.

So you go with a simple response while Jungkook watches you attentively with those beautiful doe eyes where you feel like you can get lost so easily : ‘You’re not intruding at all’ –  you give him a comforting smile and continue – ‘I always wanted to live somewhere abroad, to have that experience at least once in a lifetime, plus Chris had moved here and he used to say to me how much he loved Seoul and how the people here always treated him so nicely. To be honest, he was a great influence on me moving in here. He’s pretty much like a brother to me so it was easier to decide on moving to another country knowing that he was going to be by my side and I was really missing him back home – though please don’t tell him that I said that, because it will just inflate his ego more’ you both snicker once you’ve finished explaining him part of the reasons why you decided to move to Seoul. Is not like you’re lying but you’re leaving a few big details out of the conversation, maybe some other day you’ll have the opportunity to tell him.

‘Well, I hope you really enjoy being in Seoul, I’m sure I’m enjoying you being here’ he admits shily to you. Your cheeks start to feel like burning and you can’t help but to feel hypnotized by him, God did he have to be this fucking gorgeous?

Before you can respond anything back, Taehyung’s loud voice interrupts the moment that you two were having - ‘Hey you two, what’s with the chit chatting? You better not be talking behind our backs’ while the others laugh because they know he just loves gossiping and wants to be included in any of it.

So, you both just laugh it off while you share a look and go back to the others

About 4AM, the night ended for all of you. Chris was insanely wasted, and you were cursing under your breath because you two got here on Chris’s car and you also had drunk a fairly amount of alcohol and weren’t in the best state to drive yourselves home.

Jackson takes a few steps towards you and your best friend - who almost couldn’t stand on his own feet without swaying – it was quite obvious that Chris wasn’t okay to drive so he offered ‘Do you want me to call an Uber for you? I would drive you myself but I’m a little bit tipsy honestly’ and just when you were about to accept on his offer, another voice interrupts ‘I could drive you both home if you want to, I don’t mind at all and I’m okay to drive’, it was Jungkook that was watching the whole scene of drunk Chris holding himself to you from afar

You felt bad for dragging him along with you and Chris’s drunk ass so you said to him ‘I don’t wanna impose you, we could just call an Uber really’, whilst he came closer to you and helped you lifting Chris from yourself as if he weighted nothing and responded sweetly ‘I’m not taking a no for an answer, and you’re not imposing, I offered myself, come on let’s go’. So, you said your goodbyes from a far to all the other guys that were also getting ready to leave and thanked Jackson for inviting you one more time before finally following Jungkook and Chris over to JK’s car.

After the impossible task of getting Chris’s drunk ass in Jungkook’s car, you went into the passenger seat while you heard your best friend from the back mumbling nonsenses that only he could understand. Jungkook asked where to go and you told him your address, you couldn’t leave your best friend alone in that state so that’s where you headed to.

As soon as he started to drive, Jungkook asked ‘How long have you two met?’ hinting on the drunk man that was now singing - or at least he thought that he was doing that - Jason Derulo ‘Swalla’ while lying in the backseat.

‘Too long if you ask me’ you both start laughing and you continue ‘Mmh, it’s been like...15 years since we met. We went to the same high school but didn’t shared classes together because we were on different programs. One day when we were both at recess, there was this guy who was a senior that kept insisting on me dating him and I would always say no. Until that day it got up to the point that he pushed me against a locker’ - Jungkook’s eyes widened while he was letting you continue your story –‘And afterwards the idiot tried to kiss me even when I was pretty clear saying that I didn’t want anything to do with him. That’s when out of nowhere, Chris grabbed the guy and punched him right on the face and told him to fuck off and leave me alone’, you can’t help but smile remembering how your best friend stud up for you even when he didn’t even know you.

‘Wow, well done Chris! From the very first day you were already protecting y/n’ Jungkook said smiling while checking on your best friend through the rearview mirror

‘Yesssssss, I saved noona from that asshole’ you hear from the backseat

‘Noona?’ Jungkook widened eyes look over to you, ‘Wait, are you older than Chris, y/n?’

‘Yes… well only 3 months older than him, my birthday is in May and Chris’s birthday is in August’ - Now that you think of, he only calls you noona when he’s insanely drunk -

You start remembering how one morning you got up seeing that you had 10 voice messages from your best friend, you got so freaking scared for a moment thinking that something bad had happened.

That was until you started playing all the audios and it was clear that he was wasted while he was sending those audios, some of them you couldn’t even understand what language he was speaking, there was another one where he was singing ‘You’re my best friend! No, I didn't stutter till the day end. Through heaven and high water oooooohhhhhhh, it kills me not to tell you, you're my best friend’ and finally the one where he screamed ‘Noona I love you, you’re my bff’ and that was it.

Seeing JK’s still surprised look, you ask ‘What? You thought I was younger? I don’t know why people tend to think that Chris is older than me but no, we’re both 93 liners’

‘I actually did think you were younger; you certainly look like you’re. I didn’t think that you were my noona too’

That’s when your eyes almost pop out of you head and you say ‘Wait, are you telling me you’re younger than me too? I thought all of you in Jackson’s home were about the same age as us’

‘Yes, noona’ says Jungkook while wiggling his eyebrows to you. ‘I’m a 97 liner’, he laughs at your wide eyes

‘Oh my god you’re a baby’ – you can’t help to think that you were almost salivating because of this Adonis that you’re talking to and now that you learn he’s 4 years younger than you, it somehow feels weird.

You've never felt attraction for a guy younger than you, maybe is the prejudice... You used to notice how guys - not all of them but the majority, at least in your experience - would take more time to mature than girls, so you never dated anyone younger than you, not even someone of your same age. You always aimed for guys older than you.

Although, to be fair, last time you were single you were 19 years old so anyone at that point would be immature probably.

Maybe now that you’re almost 30 it wouldn’t be a bad thing to be open to date younger guys, you could find someone that's younger than you and still have a good time, right?

‘Don’t call me a baby, please’ you notice how Jungkook’s tone changed to a serious one

‘Sorry, I promise I won’t call you like that again’- you can't help snickering seeing how serious he got just because you called him a baby - ‘It’s just that you surprised me, maybe it’s because you’re all muscle and give such a masculine vibe that I thought that you were pretty much the same age as me’

– Oh for fucks sake, that freaking Soju made your tongue start to loosen up, you start panicking once you have finished the last sentence because you realize that you said everything you were thinking out loud, you shouldn’t drink when there’s a guy this hot near you –

You feel Jungkook’s burning gaze and as soon as you look at him you see him smirking at you. Then he opens that beautiful mouth he has and says ‘So…you think I’m pretty masculine, noona?’

‘Isn’t that what I just said?’ you mumble, not even knowing how to divert the conversation because you’re about to pee yourself, he’s so gorgeous you feel like you’ll start stuttering any time soon if he keeps looking at you with those doe eyes

Before he could open again his mouth and make you blush again, you see your building entry and you almost scream interrupting him ‘We’re here!!’

Fuck, why am I getting this nervous around him? I feel like a teenager. Jeez, you must keep it together y/n! - you think to yourself -  

He then stops the car, and you open the door getting out not even waiting a second because you were starting to panic in there. You feel like the Soju has taken all your filters down and you could say almost anything to Jungkook. You just met the guy, you can't start telling him how hot he looks with those cargo pants or how insanely good that sleeve of tatts looks on him…God, maybe it’s just that it’s been so long since you had sex, yes... yes, it must be that!! That explains why you’re just a horny mess.

Jungkook gets out of the car quickly after you and waves you off when he sees you trying to get Chris out of the car, who by the way, is totally passed out by now and once again Jungkook lifts him up like a bag of potatoes and lets you guide him towards your apartment.

The wait for the elevator almost felt eternal but once it arrived you pushed the 7th floor button while you feel JK’s burning gaze on you but neither of you said anything. Once you got to your floor, you quickly open your apartment door because poor JK has been putting up with Chris’s weight for a while.

You guide him through your living room and tell him to drop Chris on the sofa while you place a bucket right next to him in case he wants to throw up at any point. You feel relieved that you finished cleaning up your apartment earlier since you see JK already analyzing everything around the apartment while he says ‘Nice place’ then his doe eyes set on one special picture on your desk next to your laptop while you’re putting a pillow under Chris’s head ‘Who’s this in the picture? Your dad? You look so much like him’

You freeze for a second and respond shortly ‘Yes, that’s my dad’ while you come close to where he is standing watching the photograph, he says ‘You have a tight relationship with him, huh?’

‘Yeah, I did’ you say almost whispering with an unexpected sad tone. JK's eyes widen and realizes that you used the past to refer to your dad and starts cursing himself in his mind for his big mouth ‘I’m so so sorry y/n, I’m such an idiot If I kne- ‘

‘Hey’ - you interrupt and put a hand on his shoulder to make him understand that he didn’t do anything wrong, and you’re not upset at him at all - ‘There’s nothing to be sorry for, how would you know? Besides, it’s not like I can’t talk about it, it’s a sensitive topic for me… yes but it is what it is’ – he looks at you with a look that you got used to see on other people every time they found out that your dad passed away, it’s maybe pity? – ‘He passed away from bones cancer last year, such a fucking painful disease... you see how your loved ones are shutting down little by little while you can’t do anything to help them. We were really close to each other and we used to talk every single day. Even though I miss him like crazy, I know he’s not suffering anymore, and I held his hand until his very last breath. He was a great person but even more a greater dad and I’m proud to be able to say that I’m his daughter’ once you finish saying that you look down and take a deep breath because you know you’re about to cry – well, so long to not sharing your sad stories on the first day of meeting him

And then JK turns you to him and hugs you tightly while saying ‘The ones we love are always in our hearts’ then he grabs you by your cheeks and makes you look at him straight in his eyes while he cleans some of the tears in your face ‘I’m sure your dad is by your side all the time’

You nod at him, and you start to feel like an idiot crying in front of someone you met today, that’s not you – even Chris who was met you for 15 years only saw you crying two times, so you say ‘I’m sorry I’m such a cry baby, I always get really sensitive talking about my dad’

‘Now who’s the one apologizing for no reason noona, huh?’

You both share a look and start laughing while he’s still cupping your face. That’s when you both realize that you’re standing insanely close to each other’s faces, you clear your throat and JK’s hands leave your face. You swear you saw him blushing, but you don’t comment on that. In fact, you don’t say anything at all because you’re spacing out thinking how close you were from each other just moments ago.

You got back to earth once you listen to him saying ‘Um, so… do you need help with anything else? If not, I think I’ll head home, it’s been a long night’

‘It’s been a long night indeed’ you said smiling at him ‘but no, you already helped a lot, this moron is already sleeping so I’m just gonna have a nice long shower and head to bed’

You walk him to your door and meanwhile you’re debating in your mind whether you should ask him his cellphone or not. You feel like you’ll look desperate but since when do you care what people thinks about you? Ughhhhhh your mind is driving you crazy right now

So before saying your goodbyes, you settle on saying ‘Thanks for driving us here and for dragging Chris to the sofa, that was very sweet of you’

He smiles with that pair of lips that could knock someone over in a second and says ‘No worries, I’m glad that I helped. I had a great night being by your side. Sweet dreams, noona’ and he waves goodbye to you while heading to the elevator.

You feel like you’re about to melt thinking how sweet his voice sounds and before closing the door you hear him calling your name once again

‘Yeah?’ you manage to mumble

‘I was wondering if you could give me your cellphone number?’

‘Sure’ – and you can’t help feeling like a thousand butterflies were freed on your belly

Previous | Next

[mynamesaplant]

Yearning for Wood Floors

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Just a little short story about @critterbitter's hc of Elesa. This is not too long after her and her dad immigrated to Unova. Elesa is def not bitter about it, I promise 🤞

I'll probably post this to AO3 and I'll update this when I do.

Enjoy!~

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The floor was scuffed and dry, practically ancient judging by each crunch that crackled up Elesa’s spine with each step. The varnish looked more like those potato chips that were served in brightly colored bags at lunch. Yellowish, opaque flecks that made the room feel neglected at best and abandoned at worst.

Floors back in Sinnoh never looked like this.

Elesa’s frown deepened as she toed some of the loose chips at her feet, a spray of prehistoric resin sailed across the room. She stifled a sigh. It was kind of sad really. She remembered the wood floor at her cousin’s house, their mom always kept the floors spotless, and whatever cleaner she used made the house smell fresh and clean.

Things weren’t like this back in Sinnoh.

Aunt Johanna, like every other adult in Sinnoh, had everyone take their shoes off at the door. Elesa was used to padding around in her socks or bare feet, but Aunt Johanna bought her little Pachirisu slippers to wear around her house. That had to help keep the floors nice and clean from whatever was being trekked in from outside. It made sense. Meanwhile, Elesa watched the water puddle on the floor at her dad’s feet from his brogues. The rain had soaked into his laces.

That wouldn’t have happened in Sinnoh.

…

She missed the fuzzy Pachirisu slippers at her cousins’ house.

Elesa’s face scrunched up, her mouth thinning as she tried to suppress the flash of anger she felt toward her dad. He and the woman behind the desk were still talking – not that she could hear, she turned her aids off about ten minutes ago when the adults started getting into the paperwork. Even if her aids were on, it’s not like she could understand them. She didn’t understand Galarian.

Another stupid reason to bring her to Unova.

This office – what had her dad called it? – Unovan Disability Services, it seemed like a forgotten department in the government building. Elesa had pressed close to her father as they waded through the subways, up to pavement level, and through the dense crowds to this innocuous building by the harbor. The crowds were loud and made her feel claustrophobic.

There were so many people here compared to Sinnoh.

This woman was their assigned agent, her assigned agent, and she was here to help Elesa navigate this new environment while she learned Galarian. Elesa flicked her eyes up to the metal name plate. Her blue eyes narrowed ever so slightly in her attempt to read. The strokes and dots looked too limited next to the symbols for kanji she was familiar with.

“This is the agent, Talbot-san.”

What was written had to be her name. It had to be. What else could it be? Elesa might know what the letters said Talbot, but that didn’t mean she really grasped their significance. She offered Talbot-san a smile that didn’t really make in past her eyes, which prompted a sympathetic tut from the woman. Probably because she knew Elesa didn’t understand but might have wrongly assumed she was shy or nervous.

Elesa was mad. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to go home.

She didn’t understand why she couldn’t stay with her mother. Probably because her mother was busy with her work as a ranger. Headquarters deployed her all over the country and sometimes outside it to Fiore or Almia to help teach new rangers or to help with relief efforts after major disasters with displaced people and Pokémon. Elesa wouldn’t be allowed to stay at home alone or to go with her mother due to the nature of her work.

Aunt Johanna, Dawn, and Lucas came over to help them pack. Her dad didn’t even help at all really, Aunt Johanna did most of the work and scolded Elesa when she got frustrated with her dad. Her aunt had sighed and knelt down, lightly gripping her shoulders and giving her a sad smile.

Elesa knew what divorce was, but that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was understanding why.

“I know you’re upset, but please be patient with your father.”

She wouldn’t understand until later that her dad was heartbroken about his Staraptor. The death of his starter and the divorce with his wife broke him. He needed to start fresh, and Elesa was dragged along for the ride.

Something nudged into her shin, her dad’s work shoes, and she looked up at him. Leaning down, her dad asked Elesa what kind of Pokémon she wanted. That was why they were here after all, to get a starter Pokémon that would be able to assist Elesa on her journey when the time came.

That time couldn’t come soon enough for Elesa.

She had plans to find her way back to Sinnoh no matter what it took.

He kept listing ones she didn’t know. As much as she tried not to let it show, her face screwed up in frustration, because her dad never listened to her. She had a favorite type. His wife knew (her mother had gotten her a novelty pin from the Sunyshore gym giftshop – she treasured that pin). His sister-in-law knew. Why didn’t he?

Why did he drag her here?

She didn’t want to be in Unova.

She missed Sinnoh.

“でんきタイプ.”

Electric.

That’s all she wanted.

Her dad must have conveyed that to Talbot-san because she clapped with delight and brought up a few options for her to pick from. She swiveled her computer monitor toward them. The computer whirred hard enough to be felt through the floorboards, evidently working hard to only show names and no images.

Blitzle

Emolga

Joltik

Tynamo

Elesa just picked the first one, pointing with her finger before returning her gaze to the ground. It didn’t really matter. She always wanted her starter to be a Pachirisu anyway. She stared down at these messy floors, cracked and brittle, and Elesa had to stop the sudden tears that were threatening to drip from the corners of her eyes.

She missed Aunt Johanna. She missed her cousins. She missed Sinnoh.

She missed when her feet didn’t crunch down on hardwood floors like they were browned leaves in the autumn.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jess Piper at The View from Rural Missouri:

I am also the typical rural woman, with one exception…I am a progressive. And I’m loud. And I have a large platform. And I call out the GOP, which is why what I’m about to tell you might not shock you: my family was swatted. The swat unfolded in such an odd manner. I was gardening — no surprise — and I heard my dogs start barking. They do this when anyone pulls into the drive. I looked up to see a County Sheriff’s SUV parked down the drive. He didn’t pull up close to the house. My first instinct was panic. We have four adult children and my first thought was that something had happened to one of my kids.

The deputy was apprehensive which made me even more nervous. Then I saw he had a piece of paper in his hand. Whew! I thought maybe he was looking for someone or that I had a summons or something of the sort. He stood away from me and asked if my name was Jessica. He knew the answer, he lives down the highway, but I affirmed it. He then asked me how many kids I have. Again…panic. I asked him what this was about? He walked up to me and handed over the piece of paper he was holding. It was a printed email that had been sent to several law enforcement offices and several state offices in Missouri…it had even been mailed to my local water department. The email claimed to be from a close family relation. The letter stated that the family member had murdered me and my husband the night before. It went on to state that they intended to shoot and kill anyone who came on the property. [...]

This is going to be a long list. I can think of several state legislators who would like to see police storming my house with guns drawn. I get threats nearly every week online, but I brush them off as bots. And, then something came to mind that happened last week… I wrote a tweet last week that got the attention of an account called “The Libs of Tik Tok.”

I wrote about a doctor at the fatal Trump rally who gave medical attention to the fireman who later died at the rally. I talked about being so confused to see a doctor, an OBGYN, wearing a MAGA hat and shirt. In the tweet, I spoke about not wanting to think about the treatment an immigrant or a person of color or a woman in need of an abortion would receive from that doctor. I was horrified to know that a practicing physician could support Trump. There is an important distinction for me: The doctor wasn’t your ordinary, run-of-the-mill, conservative Republican. He attended a rally in which others had signs for mass deportation and concentration camps. That’s not okay. The tweet took off, but nothing too wild until that evening. I saw my phone blow up. I muted the tweet, but it was being quote-tweeted. A lot. So, I caved and looked at what was going on. It was the “Libs of Tik Tok.” Shit. Here we go. They were not only threatening me on Twitter, they found me on Facebook and started replying to my posts. They moved to my Tik Tok account and did the same thing. I spent a couple hours blocking and deleting comments and then really didn’t think much more about it. I thought it was over.

[...] Raichik uses her platform to harass teachers and LGBTQ folks especially, but anyone in general. I am a former teacher and a progressive activist…prime for the attack. Her minions often call in bomb threats and send police officers to the doors of progressives. Someone pulled my swatting off, but there is something they should know: I was rattled, but not terrorized. You didn’t win. I am a rural woman…most in my community know me and my politics. When an email came in claiming to be a close relation who shot and killed me, they thought better than to send a SWAT team out. They knew it sounded off because they know of me. They sent my neighbor, the Deputy Sheriff. They were right.

Read this Substack post from Jess Piper, and it’s very frightening. Piper and her family were swatted recently at their home, and anti-LGBTQ+ extremist account Libs of TikTok (run by domestic terrorist Chaya Raichik) incited the swatting.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Luis ramble time

TW//homophobia??

I think my favorite thing about Luis has to be the idea that his religious trauma led him to become homophobic but not in the sense of how it normally is. I think he internalized it as he grew up in a Catholic setting and became more interested in other people. This is why I believe he probably wouldn't have kissed Leon,,he will flirt and make flirty gestures but I don't really believe he'd full on go for it. I think it's more believable that he would've felt guilty because we all know one thing Luis still holds dear is his religion.

To me Luis is bisexual and when he met Leon it made him remember those odd feeling but he was to afraid to express them both from fear of loosing Leon and the feeling of being sinful. (this comes from someone who connects to Luis in these regards,,dw I came to terms with myself awhile ago!) And just like everything else in his life he ran away from it and ultimately..

He never let himself feel those emotions nor tell Leon

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FERAL I WENT OVER THIS I STARTED GOING DOWN SUCH A LONG RABBIT HOLE OUUUUGHHH

BUT YOURE SO RIGHT YOU HAVE A BIT BEAUTIFUL BRAIN IT HURTS SM,,,,,,,, I think you’re absolutely right but I wanted to add my own headcannons too cuz I think it could be a very very interesting discussion!!!!!! I’ve put my thoughts under the cut so it doesn’t clog up peoples dashboards!!!!

I couldn’t agree more I think it’d be pretty safe ro say Luis has a FAIR BIT of internalised homophobia from his religious upbringing (now I wanna clarify that I don’t have any religious trauma like, at all, I wasn’t brought up relifious but I have TONS of friends who’ve gone through it so I’ve done my best to understand it best I can!!!!) and where my headcannon sliiiiiiiightly differs from yours is that I think Luis probably would have come to terms with his own queerness by the time he’s working with Umbrella

Obviously he’s already very flamboyant and VERRRRYYY flirty w both men and women and he’s clearly confident in himself- but what a lot of people seem to forget that the lovely @blveherb and @possessionisamyth have gone into detail about is that Luis is an immigrant, and if you look at literally any piece of history from before like,,,, roughly around the 80’s queer and immigrant history were REALLY intertwined, like, the two communities would often be at the same places or facing the same struggles at the same time etc and obviously white historians haven’t done us any favours with preserving this history (and ALSO also i am WHITE AS ALL HELL so im obviously not in a position to be speaking on topics that i dont fully understand/havent affected me which is why i ask that if anyone is more knowledgable on the topic please do elaborate on it!!!!!!!)((also it’s obviously very very important not to try and take away focus from or erase poc history when talking about queer history!!!!!!!!!!!!!))

So I don’t think it would be much of a stretch to say that Luis, after leaving Valdelobos and ending up wherever he did, would have also discovered the queer community as a whole just by virtue of being apart of a minority (again, this isn’t something that’s ever even remotely effected me so please if I’ve made any mistakes or if anyone wants to point anything out do so!!!!) also I just imagine that, in general, Luis would’ve been grateful for any kind of community to fall back on after he left his own- how old he was when he left is unknown obviously but I can’t imagine being barely even an adult discovering the big wide world for the first time after spending your entire life in a tiny rural catholic village would’ve been easy which is why communities like that are so important (also you could absolutely go into how Umbrella would’ve fed that need for a community even further in a young naive Luis but that’s getting ahead of the subject)

Also somewhat on and off topic but M A A N Y historians have pointed out that Don Quixote is a pretty queer fricken book. That’s an entirely different discussion in and of itself but the whole book itself, the relationship between Alonso and Sancho, the history itself surrounding the book etc can leave a lot of queer interpretations to be read (and @highball66 has pointed out that while not specifically a term used for gay men, in some areas ‘Sancho’ has been used to refer to ‘the other guy in the relationship’, ie the man the husband is sleeping with etc) ((AND also it’s just,, kinda hard to analyse super old books through the lens of the LGBTQ+ community as we understand it roday- Kaz Rowe on YouTube has some good videos on the topic I can’t reccomend enough!!!!))

And so I personally like to imagine that by the time he returns BACK to Valdelobos, he’s probably come to terms with it- but like most traumas, returning to the place where it all started and manifested probably would’ve brought up those same feelings of internalised homophobia like you’ve said; which is why he’s so afraid to confess to Leon. Even if he KNOWS he’s come to terms with his identity n such, that doesn’t mean that returning to the place where it all started doesn’t bring back up those old feelings (also him returning home in the manor that he does just makes my theory/headcannon that he’s Trans go WILD but I’m saving that for ANOTHER DAY)

‘He holds Religion very Close to him’ GOD YOURE SO RIGHT ABT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like even if he doesn’t still believe in god or anything his upbringing still effects him!!!!!!!!!!!!! He still always does the sign of the cross whenever he sees a dead body and obviously that classic catholic guilt and need to repent follows his every actions alongside just, y’know, the average amount of guilt people would feel in his situation BCNEHENDJDND so can you imagine how much WORSE he’d feeling going BACK to Valdelobos and meeting LEON and having all those feelings and fears come up again???????????? OUGH WHY MAKE ME THINK ABT THIS OP /lh

AND and, like you mentioned, Luis always has this reoccurring theme of thinking he has more time than he actually has and that he can run away from anything. It’s honestly so so so very tragic; and just the idea of that cycle repeating AGAIN in something SO PERSONAL (ie, his love for Leon) is just,,,,,,,,,, o u g h it’s so heartbreaking man why would you say that I am strangling you /jjjjjjjj

Luis always thinks he has more time to fix his mistakes, to be a better person- and even when he starts to realise he doesn’t, he still holds out hope. He thinks, ‘tomorrow I’ll tell Leon’, but he never gets that opportunity.

And finally this one is purely self indulgent but I’ve always pictured Luis as being the kind of person to just be happy labelling himself as ‘queer’ cuz it’s quick and convinient but BISEXUAL LUIS SL TRUE

(Also obligatory ‘these are just headcannons/theories/analysis nobody is saying these are CANNON this is just an observation’ message!!!!!!!)

[weirdefilippis]

Hello there! Thank you for being so open about answering questions here, it's so interesting to see your processes. I was wondering if you might feel comfortable going into your thoughts and intentions behind your writing choices with Rahne Sinclair in your New Mutants run? It's probably the most controversial part of the run - especially to fans of the character from the original run from the 80s. Do you have any thoughts on the fan reaction as well?

A lot of comic writers fall into the trap of trying to energize a book or a fanbase by doing something shocking and new.

We are not above that temptation, and have fallen prey to it a couple of times, two in rapid succession.

The first was when we were asked to pitch what we'd do with Iron Man (years before the movie came out or was announced). We did the shocking thing - we killed him. Pitched an arc where Tony Stark was dying and did all he could to prevent it before he realized he couldn't. He'd die at the end of the arc, and his personality would go on to become the AI that powered the suit while others wore it.

We loved our grand, bold idea - not knowing how bad this would be if they were planning a movie featuring Tony Stark.

We didn't get that job, and all they told us is that they "had plans" for Tony and didn't want him dead.

Now, when we pitched New Mutants, we wanted to update some of our favorites from the classic team. And with Rahne, we knew the accent would likely have diminished over time - as it does with a lot of immigrants. But having had it spelled out on the page the way it had been during the classic New Mutants run meant this would be really noticeable.

Writing Rahne's return was right around this time we had that chance to pitch for Iron Man, and we didn't take the right lesson from not getting that gig - we'd chalked it up to bad timing. So we did it again, going for the big change - we decided to lean into how jarring losing the accent would be to the readers, and make it a deliberate choice on her part to reinvent herself because the wolf was no longer with her.

It made sense - she lost this part of herself and found herself inexplicably missing it. So she wanted to shake things up, shake herself up. Prove herself more adult, more American.

And that led to her being someone who would make a huge lapse in judgement as a teacher.

We thought it would get people talking.

It did, but not always in positive ways.

Like we said, writers do this a lot in comics. They want to make their mark, and shake things up.

In retrospect, a milder version without the kiss with Josh may have worked better. Perhaps having Dani able to talk about the other changes with her would have made them make sense a bit more.

But whatever the mistake was, we look back at it as mishandled. Not by Marvel, by us. We swung for the fences and didn't connect.

Live and learn.

These days, we're less inclined to want to shake things up so dramatically.

We've also seen enough teacher-student stories to know we don't want to write any more of them, so we totally get why that kiss still bothers Rahne fans to this day.

As we said, live and learn.

There isn't much we'd change about what we did on New Mutants and New X-Men (regardless of reactions to it), but there are a few big things.

And that kiss is one of them.

[berniesrevolution]

Editor’s Note: This article, republished from the Daily Yonder, is part of a series of photo essays created for the American Creed ​“Citizen Power” multi-platform documentary initiative exploring American idealism and community leadership from a range of young adult perspectives.

Jonathan Blair lives, works, and studies at Alice Lloyd College, in Eastern Kentucky. He coordinates a work-study crew of about 60 people, mostly first-generation college students from rural Appalachia. Blair and two of his crew members — Jacob Frazier and Carlos Villanueva — document their connection to blue-collar work in and around the Appalachian coal industry, and they reflect on their hopes for the region.

Explore more of Jonathan Blair’s story here.

My grandfathers on both sides were coal miners. My father is a mechanic for one of the railroads that transport coal. Basically, ever since our family has been in these hills, the coal business has put food on our table, and that’s the case for most families in our region. Even if it’s not why they came here, it kind of became what they did, because that was what paid, and you’re going to do whatever it takes.

Survival is a big aspect of Appalachian culture. For a long time, coal meant survival, but there was never a sense of stability because the coal business is like a light switch: It’s either ​“on” or ​“off.” And when that switch was off, a lot of people, like my grandpa, would find manufacturing jobs elsewhere, in Ohio and other places. And whenever the coal business picked back up, they would come back, because this is home. Today, you look around and you can see the mountaintops have been removed to extract the coal from them, and much of the coal that was deep in the ground is gone. The coal business is a phantom, a shadow of what it used to be. We can’t rely on it coming back to what it once was.

(My stepdad Charles Hampton was in the Marines, but he got injured. He used to work for a drilling company but now he’s retired. He also used to be a truck driver but he got injured there too.)

For Appalachians, other than faith in God and the love of our families, coal has been what we have always leaned on. Now we are having to take a step back and look away in order to move on to the future. Like diamonds, coal takes millions of years to form, so there won’t be much forming in our lifetimes. In fact, it could be exhausted by the end of our lifetimes.

I know very few people my age who go into the industry. The generations before us have warned that no matter how good the money is right now, no matter how sweet of a deal they’ll cut you to get you to work, it’s not gonna last. It can’t last. Right now, the price of coal is up but we’ve seen what happens when the price goes down and industry packs up and leaves.

There is no plan B in places like this. A major concern for my generation is finding that plan B right here in the only place we’ve ever known, because these mountains are home. And it truly is beautiful.

(My grandfather and his co-worker, underground about two miles.)

(The culture in Appalachia is rich in faith. Ever since I can remember, I was in the House of God listening to my grandfather preach. I asked him to turn to any passage of scripture, and he turned to Luke 15:11 (the story of the Prodigal son).)

(Coal Miners go to work never knowing what the day will hold. One day my grandfather sacrificed his arm while cleaning a belt head. “I would go back in a heartbeat,” he said. Even though the work took something from him, his heart still has a passion for the industry.)

The Appalachian culture has deep roots because, much like the rest of America, this is a land of immigrants who made this their home. People of many backgrounds, colors, and creeds were brought together here to build the railroads and pull the coal out of the ground. Over time, bonds formed through our shared labor and sacrifice.

There’s a saying around these parts that goes, ​“All blood isn’t family and all family isn’t blood.” Coal workers often left their loved ones behind for the opportunities in this region, and although those opportunities have dwindled, many of them formed new families and remain committed to these mountains. That’s how we ended up with this rich culture.

(Although the family has been spread across the region because of work and other aspects of life, when we are able to gather the sense of joy never seems to falter. As I have grown older, I have witnessed these bonds grow, even as the distance between us becomes greater. It becomes more bittersweet each time.)

While Appalachians have always wanted to maintain a life and community here, the same can’t be said for the industry we’ve welcomed into this region. You can drive through these mountains and find ghost towns like after the gold rush, abandoned places that were once home to so many people.

A sense of distrust exists between the Appalachian people and outsiders — whether that’s big business or the government. This distrust is deeply rooted and generational because New England businessmen came into the area and ripped a great deal of the coal out of our mountains. When the prices were low enough for them not to bother anymore, they went back home. When it was time for war, the federal government would come into our region and recruit young men, leaving behind suspicion and fear of exploitation among locals. It’s difficult to erase those scars of generational distrust. Many Appalachians fear that solutions presented by new industries or the government will only repeat the exploitation of the past. When you can see the end of the coal industry, it’s frightening. But there are solutions. Fear has to be countered with knowledge and power.

(Continue Reading)

[militantinremission]

A quick thought about The Democratic Party

The Democratic Party's blatant lack of regard for Black Americans & BLACK SPECIFIC ISSUES is reaching new heights. 100,000 Michigan Voters voted Uncommitted in the Primary. It's estimated that 9,000 came from Dearborn, but Governor Gretchen Wihitmer, Congresswoman Debbie Dingell, & Michael Moore ALL went out of their way to avoid talking about Detroit, Flint, & Lansing. How many of those 91,000 votes came from there? Mainstream Media is trying to shift the voter apathy narrative to Gaza, but Arab Americans IN TOTAL only make up 1% of the population. Young Adults don't traditionally vote in Primaries (in large #s), so WHO is responsible for this phenomenon?

Following the Primary, Kamala Harris visited Selma, AL & walked across the Edmond Pettus Bridge. This was supposed to be a TRIBUTE to the Blackfolk that were beaten bloody 59Yrs ago (Bloody Sunday), but Kamala Harris spent her time talking (emphatically) about Gaza- It's Mother Emmanuel Church all over again. The Black Church enjoys a 501c3 Tax Exempt status, in return for NOT getting involved in Politics. In Reality, Black Churches are being used for a Democratic Agenda that addresses EVERYONE but their Black parishioners... When are We supposed to say that We're insulted by the callous disrespect on Both Sides?

Joe Biden 'Powered Up' to give what could be his last State Of The Union Address. In it, he made several overtures to Women. He makes his Case for Ukraine, Immigration Reform, & Aid to Gaza; he even tells the LGBTQ... Community that he's 'got their back' (where did We hear THAT before?). Then he glosses over the 59th Anniversary of the March on Selma's Edmond Pettus Bridge, stressing the need for Voting Rights(?!). Joe Biden is 'Old enough' to know that Selma was about Equality & The Right Of Expression. 59Yrs later, Selma, AL remains poverty stricken. The bridge in question, is still named after a KKK Leader. THIS has been the Democratic Party's Legacy w/ Black America- broken promises & blatant disrespect. I am constantly reminded of an editorial that I read in a 1898 Wilmington, NC Newspaper that stated:

"The Democratic Party never has & never will stand for the Uplift of Black People"... Action speaks louder than Words.

The DNC & their Proxies can ignore Black America's Issues if they want, but We have reached CRITICAL MASS Family! Black Political Awareness is nearly back to 1968 levels, which scares these people to death. The Streets are talking about The Black Agenda & the need for Lineage Based Reparations for American Descendants Of Chattel Slavery. Press on Young Fam! We were distracted by The Cosby Show (Scholastic Achievement) & Gangsta Rap (Ghetto Fabulousness), but y'all AREN'T falling for the Oakey Doke. I am personally proud of Our Young Lions & Lionesses speaking Truth to Power unapologetically & learning how to Do for Self.

-The Real Ones got Ur backs!

[cherryblossomforest]

I'm finally a bit more regulated and out of that emotional flashback, and whoever was pulling me into them has stood back away from me. I feel a bit more adult.

It's long...

Upon reflection, I know what led to this. I've been talking about my relationship with my dad for weeks at various lengths with different people. Now that everything is up in the air and mixed with trauma anniversaries everything is triggering everything else. Attachment trauma is the worst and my dad holds a lot of that trauma for me.

Today when he came over and before I started absolutely crying my eyes out. I was observing him. He's getting older and this year with the death has aged him so much and I can see his mental struggle. I can see him not as my dad but as a person. I can see the pain seeping through him.

Then the tears came and I lost myself. I get it though and I hear the pain within myself. I hear what these parts have to say and the sheer pain they carry. It's so big and it hurts. It's the feeling of having no one and being so incredibly alone. Of holding myself above water whilst everyone around me gets floaties.

I have no one. I am my own support. I am my own bestfriend. I live alone. I sleep alone. I wake up alone. I am so alone. That is painful. I'm losing a friend after nearly 15 years. That is painful. It makes sense why it feels like everything is crashing down. On top of that, I'm dealing with a disability which makes me not able to do things people my age do. I'm even more alone because of that. So I get it. It's painful, especially for these younger parts.

What I am realising though is that my dad can't help me because he can't help himself. He helps people who need help and I've spent my life wondering why I never got that help. I spent my life trying to figure out what I was doing so wrong. What I'm realising, especially today, is that he helps people to avoid looking at himself. Looking at himself is painful and he cannot cope with it so he turns that to other people. Then you have me. I am the baby of the family, I am autistic and I am damaged.

My dad is the baby of his family, he is autistic and he is damaged. Out of all his children, I am the most like him. I have his humour and mannerisms. All the ways I cope are like him.

He is the first generation of immigrants from the Caribbean. There was no space for him. He is the baby of 6. He watched his dad die at 21. My grandma was all types of hell as a mother being someone raised by slaves. He grew up here through the 60s and after as a black boy. There is so much he had to change about himself to cope. He wasn't allowed to feel. He wasn't allowed to be himself. He was beaten up on the street just for being black. He was beaten at home just because his mother needed to let off steam. He's autistic just now at 60 realising that he is. He fell for my mother who psychologically abused him and blinded him from the horrors she was raining down on people. He married her twice just to try and make things work, wrongly so but I cannot imagine the things he went through. He was with her from like 22 years old. He loved her so much. Watching your wife and mother of your children change in front of you. Turn on you. Abuse you without you knowing because men can't be abused right? He watched all 4 of his children fall so deep into everything he hoped he could avoid. He only had eyes for my mother and he worshipped the ground she walked, only to realise she blinded him. Only to realise the reality of the situation too late. I cannot imagine trusting someone so much only to realise they are evil and not seeing the signs. The guilt. The shame. The trauma. He fell into a deep depression. That's the one thing he admits. He's been in a constant depression since his second divorce. He's struggled since his second divorce with my mother.

So looking at me, like he said today he sees a mini version of himself rather than me. He expects me to get on and cope because he's had to do that his entire life. People haven't extended grace to him. He's had to navigate life alone too until he fell into my mother's hands. He looks at me and it reminds him of who had had to change. He sees how I deal with things and I am a younger version of him but I'm also the parts of himself he hid. The parts that there was no space for. The parts he had to suppress and he cannot cope with it.

Today when I was crying and explaining my pain he was choking up. I could hear him trying to hold himself together to not cry. I could hear his breathing changing. I could hear the struggle in his voice. He can't sit with me because he can't sit with himself. He abandons himself so of course he's going to abandon his mini me.

This doesn't make it okay. This doesn't make it easier. But it helps me extend him grace. It helps me realise that I won't be able to get what I need from him. I need to grieve that. I need to cry about that but I also need to look somewhere else. It's not going to be easy but it's necessary for my own growth and healing.

[randomreadingtimewithtsuki]

Thank you for everything you do! I appreciate it so much! That said, is there any chance I could request the detective agency from Kemono Jihen reacting to the reader being a wolf kemono? The reader's likely an immigrant due to there being no wolves in Japan. Thank you again!

Hello! Thank you for requesting!

I hope this is of your liking please let me know what you think!

Tsuki's note: I made reader be.... just there? I don't really know how to write immigrant stuff? i hope that is ok! But i guess you can have a wolf in japan if one of your parents is immigrant? anyway!

Tsuki's note 2: I made reader an adult, just because... i kinda want to adopt the kids? so yeah...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You joined the agency quite early on.

At first, you helped Inugami here and there. then Mihai came around and you got a little worried about your tanuki friend dealing with such ... a sneaky vampire.

So you slowly and unofficially became a detective too.

Inugami made it official after he realized you were spending more time in the agency than anywhere else.

You actually thought it was quite sweet of him to shelter kemono kids here and there.

Whenever a new kiddo was staying around, you would rush to get something for them to get comfortable.

You were excited to have a new member! Though you were told you were being too... Clingy - you wanted to keep them safe!

Well, this complaint escalated a bit when Shiki came around - he did not enjoy how you were always around him. Sure, you wanted to protect him, but... a bit too much?

He had told you that you looked like a golden retriever - not too far from the truth hm?

With Akira was the opposite reaction. The boy LOVED how you always watched over him and helped him out. The thing he loved the most was hugging you.

With Kabane things were... interesting? At first you thought he did not like too much contact like Shiki, but... he actually didn't care.

He didn't understand most of the things you did.

The children took a long time to figure out you were a wolf kemono - You only turned into one when and if it was really required or to watch over the kids as a "big dog". Just like Inugami did as a Tanuki.

Despite your friendliness with the kids, they soon realized you were more reserved around strangers or acquaitances.

When they first saw you as kemono ( without knowing you were you) you heard quite a few discussions between them - Akira and Kabane thought you were a big dog, a Husky or a German Shepherd maybe? But Shiki said you looked more feral.

You could watch them debate that all day long.

That being said, when they found out about you, their reactions were all over the place:

Akira thought it made sense, because wolves are like dogs. So of course you were friendly and cuddly!

Shiki thought Wolves were more reserved so you were out of the curve.

Kabane didn't had much of a thought, just that your tail was similar to Kon's.

Kon took you as a rival Kemono - as foxes are cousins to wolves.

You thought it was adorable how Kon tried time and time again to fight you, a mock fight, of course.

Once they saw you actually fight, they realized you were not just some fluffy wolf: You were fast, strong and very good at tracking.

This made Kon lowkey up to you - since you were "cousins" she figured she could learn somethings from you. You moved similarly!

They also came to realized you were friendly and cuddly with them because they were important to you- you saw them as your puppies.

With outsiders of your circle you were a lot more distant and quite brutal in a fight.

You also took the meaning of home quite seriously - it must be protected, no matter what!

Despite their different reactions, they all loved cuddling with you on your kemono form, even Shiki - it was fluffy and warm!

Sometimes even Mihai and Inugami would pat you a bit.

It was not uncommon to see you carrying Kon by neck - as if she was an infant.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!

[nyxwordsmithwrites]

Chemically Imbalanced Chapter 40

Trigger warnings: violence, unplanned pregnancy, immigration problems, abuse, spousal abuse,

Jose couldn't believe that his son was sitting in front of him. Years had passed since he last saw him and he'd all but lost hope for a reunion. But here they were. Roman, his son, had become an adult in the time that passed. The reunion was bittersweet to Jose as it reminded him of just how much of his son's life he missed. Remus and Roman chatted as though no time had passed which only made the guilt he felt sting more. 

Virgil shifted in his seat and moved a cup of tea towards Jose, "You look like you might need it just as much as me." He offered, trying to lighten the mood when he'd noticed that Jose held his tension in the same places as Roman. 

The older gentleman sighed and rolled his shoulders attempting to release some of the tension, "I--thanks." He replied, taking the hot ceramic cup and letting the heat ground him. The next time he looked up he saw Roman looking at him, "Roman." He offered quietly, "I don't even know where to start or how to explain." He said quietly, looking back down at his tea not daring to look at Roman for fear of seeing resentment or hate. 

"Just like in the Sound of Music, the beginning is a very good place to start. " Roman offered with a smile, watching his dad and taking him in. Even though it had been years there was something so familiar about him, that familiarity brought safety.

Jose let out a wet chuckle, "Alright then. The beginning it is." 

There was no denying that it had been love at first sight. Jose had been studying abroad for a semester when he met Natalie. The whirlwind romance was one for the ages. They quickly went from strangers to never seeing one without the other. 

Their friends had said something about how they were too dependent on each other however both of them brushed it off. Those comments only made the two of them seek each other out even more. 

When the semester came to an end Jose tried to convince Natalie to come back home with him but was met with resistance. 

"I don't want to move. What if it upsets the baby?" Natalie worried, resting her hand over her nonexistent bump. 

Jose nearly fainted right there as he took in his beautiful Natalie, she stood near the window with the setting sun behind her casting a bright halo around her making her look angelic,  "You're pregnant?" He asked, leaning heavily against the bench for support. 

Natalie turned towards her boyfriend with a bright smile and nodded, "I am." 

With those two words, Jose's fate was sealed. He would do anything to be there for his child. Natalie had never looked as beautiful as she did at that moment. He quickly moved towards her and spun her in circles, quietly whispering near her ear in his native language about how happy he was and how he couldn't wait to be a father. 

_____________________

Jose did his best to provide for them but unfortunately, immigration policies that had been put in place did not work in his favor. Eventually, Natalie stated that the visa process and the money were a waste of time when they could just get married. With their marriage came the ability to earn more money with better-paying jobs due to his visa.  

But the marriage had been more out of necessity or obligation than love. For years Jose had tried to get a visa through the legal channels and had poured so much money into the process. He had his second thoughts about the marriage especially when they were really struggling and he'd picked up any overtime that was offered. The reason for the overtime was two-fold. One was because they needed the money as Natalie insisted on being a stay-at-home mom. Two he dreaded going home every night. If he didn't work overtime Natalie yelled that he was good for nothing and tried to starve their son to death. On the other hand, if he worked overtime Natalie became suspicious and accused him of cheating on her. Of course, neither of these were true but after hearing them so often it felt like maybe she was right.  

With a better-paying job and more manageable hours, Jose finally felt like he was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All that changed after Remus was born. 

____________________

There was something different about Natalie after Remus. She looked at the child like she feared he might spontaneously combust or perhaps she was wishing he would. She had never looked at Roman that way. Jose thought maybe he was just seeing things since her behavior towards Roman hadn't changed. 

After a long shift, Jose came home and found Natalie barricading herself in the kitchen with a knife pointed at Remus. She was shrieking and crying as she watched her son. It was impossible to understand what she was saying and honestly, Jose wasn't sure he wanted to know. 

His eyes went to Remus who was sitting up and looking at his mom, reaching his hands out for her but by the look in Natalie's eyes she didn't even recognize the child as her. The first thing he noticed about Remus was the blood around him that was coming from his hand. 

Jose picked up Remus and took him and Roman to the bathroom so he could patch up his son. He would likely never know how Remus got injured as that day Remus stopped talking to anyone but Roman. 

This was the first time Jose considered that maybe Natalie needed help. He did his best to keep Remus away from her and ensure that he had everything he needed. Jose also tried to urge Natalie to seek professional help but if anything that only made things worse. Even when he suggested Roman and Remus go to therapy he was met with resistance by Natalie. 

When Jose had brought up seeking help Natalie had screamed and cried for hours about how she was trying her best and maybe if he did more this wouldn't be happening

Without Natalie's knowledge, he did manage to take both of his sons to therapy. Jose couldn't care less what Natalie's reaction would be if she ever found out. This was in the best interest of his children.  

At this point, Jose was half convinced that this was normal behavior. There were times after the fact that Jose went over all of the days leading up to the end that he tried to pinpoint if he'd missed a sign but everything seemed normal. 

One day he came home from work with Remus on his hip to find the house trashed. There was a letter amongst the wreck from Natalie that said she was taking Roman and leaving. That Jose was no longer the man she married and she couldn't take it anymore. Upon reading that letter Jose knew he should've felt sad or ashamed but he couldn't help but feel relief. That Remus was safe, he was safe. The only thing he was worried about was Roman. How he'd ever find his son or ensure that he was okay. There was no telling what Natalie would be capable of. Thankfully, she hadn't shown any aggression towards Roman but Jose knew that it wasn't safe for Natalie to have him. 

After Natalie left Jose never stopped looking for Roman. However, there were very few people who wanted to assist an immigrant in finding his child. He'd told his story many times and found that most people just stared at him and came to the conclusion that his wife was abused and running for a reason. During his search child protective services had been called on him multiple times as anyone who listened to his story assumed that Remus was also in danger. Thankfully these assumptions were unfounded and he was able to take care of Remus on his own. 

_______________________

Years had passed and Jose had stopped telling people his story. This didn't mean he'd stopped looking for Roman but he mostly used the internet or prayed that somehow they would make it back to each other. 

The day has been like any other day when he received a text from an unknown number claiming to be Roman. Jose was hesitant to believe it at first as it seemed so impossible but upon further investigation he realized it was actually Roman. 

It took everything in him to be patient to schedule a meet up. This was his son they were talking about. A son he never thought he would be allowed to see again. With the reconnection came the hard part of trying to explain to his grown son what had happened. But it felt like all he had were excuses. That he hadn't tried hard enough or been a good enough father. 

______________

Once he'd said his part Jose hazard a glance at Roman and saw that his son had tears streaming down his face, "I'm so sorry." He pleaded, needing his son to understand.

Roman shook his head, "Dad no." He whispered, wiping at his face and feeling Virgil's hand on his thigh rubbing small circles, "you did so much for both of us." He added, "She--she always told me you left."

"I promise you I didn't. I have spent all of my free time looking for you." Jose assured, setting his hand on the table near Roman and instantly relaxing when he grasped his hand. 

The teen choked on a sob, "I believe you." He whispered, squeezing his hand. 

Those three words broke all of Jose's resolve. Roman believed him. His son didn't blame him. He didn't hate him. Jose swallowed hard, "Roman. Can I have another hug?" He asked gently, trying to let his son set the pace. 

Roman immediately got up and wrapped his arms around his father, not even allowing him to get out of his seat, "please stay." 

Jose whimpered and leaned into Roman any attempt at trying to pull himself together shattered by his son's request to have him stay. 

[lazlolullaby]

Lost Royal Eugene Plot Bunnies~

hot takes and plot ideas on Eugene and his royal heritage being significant to how he ended up as a thief...because the brainworms are wriggling again

Normally in these kinds of fantasy stories, there’s a letter, or an item, or even a caretaker that stays with the Lost Royal and reveals the truth either when they’re old enough or when the chips are down.

Eugene doesn’t have that. He didn’t have that at all.

It can be argued in the movie (if he knew) he didn’t mention it because -

A (the letter): he just met Rapunzel 2 days ago, she’s not getting everything at once. Plus if he has proof his family abandoned him, even for good reason, it still hurts.

B (Royal item): he’s got a family heirloom that’s stashed somewhere that he can’t sell because he’s sentimental. May or may not know where it came from. Backed up by: the entirety of Tangled and also: the engraved comb and the scrapbook of wanted posters from RTA.

C (caretaker): He’s proudly a Thief, and a New Adult, who wants to tell their parental figure what they’re actually doing for a living??? This is assuming that they’re a Decent Person - if they were abusive and Eugene paralleled that with the Gothel situation - hoo boy now that’s a rabbit hole filled with plot bunnies~

The only thing Eugene ever had in his possession that hinted to his Royalty was a two-headed coin. That’s it. I suppose that was part of Edmund’s master plan - keep him as far from the Royal Line as possible so he would never find the Moonstone at all.

But he was carried away as a baby - he had to have had a nursemaid at least to feed him.

So in canon. We’ve got a gap between being sent away as a baby and being a “employed” by the Baron as a teenage thief.

I’ve uhh...got a theory.

The world isn’t kind to immigrants. Even in a lighthearted "never say die”, fantasy world, it’s going to be rough. The nursemaid (for funzies, let’s call her Claire) tries to support herself and baby Horace. And some people are kind enough, but there’s people that see Horace as a meal ticket, an obligation or a trade for a later reward when he’s King.

So Claire changes their names and runs, further than anywhere anyone she’s known has ever been. Claire throws herself into maintaining an orphanage in Varadaros, essentially hiding orphan Eugene in a stack of orphan needles.

Meanwhile, a Princess is stolen and a King tries to eradicate every criminal possible. The unlucky who are accused of more than what they're guilty of flood Varadaros.

The panic creates a power vacuum and one man rises to the top of the dust heap ; a man who styles himself as royalty, mimicking their manners and excess. The Baron.

Plague happens and there's no magical Flowers to save anyone. Claire dies when Eugene is around five, young enough to vaguely remember her voice but not her face. Claire’s possessions are gone through and divided.

The letters for Eugene are read. At first they think it’s a joke - ah, of course her favorite kid is a Prince! What a funny family joke! But the more they talk to others - they realize that he does line up with the facts.

Word gets out. Sure, it’s not the Lost Princess, but it’s something.

The Baron hears about it. And the one thing he wants that he can’t ever have is a Royal Title. So he shows up at the orphanage. Talks to them real gentle-like. Tells them to look the other way when he brings Eugene over to his gang.

They refuse.

Baron puts the pressure on the orphanage, threatening them and cutting off their supplies. And - in an effort to save everyone else - they relent. Baron gets the Royal item and the letter. It’s lucky that Stalyan takes a shine to Eugene - they could legitimately marry and cement the title in their family. If he doesn’t work out - he still has the letter, he could pass off another kid as Horace. It’s not like there’s a shortage of brown eyed kids anywhere.

And that's the story of how Prince Horace was swindled out of his destiny for the first time.

[the-cat-chat]

April 15, 2023

It Chapter Two (2019)

Twenty-seven years after their first encounter with the terrifying Pennywise, the Losers Club have grown up and moved away, until a devastating phone call brings them back.

JayBell: Since we decided to do Stephen King month, we thought we might as well finally watch the sequel to It (which we watched the previous Halloween). When this movie came out, I remember people being disappointed by it, so I went into it with my expectations pretty low.

With that said--yikes. I’ve never read the book, so I don’t know how much they stuck to the book or not. Either way, the plot was just bad. Half of the movie is the group of kids (now adults) revisiting the past and trying to “remember” the events of the first movie. It was as if they had a bunch of unused scenes from the first movie and thought, “well let’s just stick these scenes in the sequel and call it a day.” It was boring. And honestly I’m not sure what these scenes really added to their characters, with the exception of Richie’s character (Finn Wolfhard/Bill Hader).

And don’t get me started on the stupid ritual stuff. [redacted]. The movie also gives us this quasi-origin for Pennywise with his daughter and the picture on the wall. But it’s vague and then never brought up again. Beverly doesn’t even mention it to the rest of the group. Like “hey guys you’ll never believe who I saw in a picture at some old lady’s house!” Nope. It doesn’t mean anything and the info has no bearing on events.

And the love triangle again, my god. Spare me. The movie doesn’t even provide any new development to the relationship between Beverly and Ben. No. It’s just about this stupid poem he wrote to her when he was a kid. Ugh.

The only good thing about this movie was that the adult actors had much better banter between them, especially compared to the kids in the first movie. And Bill Hader did provide some humor. He was definitely the best part of the movie.

Oh I haven’t even talked about the ending. [redacted]...so it’s completely stupid. Like we kill the clown by hurting his feelings and making him feel insecure? Ughhhhhh. And the overly sentimental send off for the kids come on.

Rating: 2.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: This movie feels like it broke me. I know I say that a lot, but I really mean it this time. I have so much to say, yet nothing at all. Let’s start with the positives. I wanted to see the sequel in all honesty bc Bill Hader was the grown up version of Richie. And I love him and think he’s soooo funny. I’m sad to report that’s not enough. (Remember THIS is the positive). That’s it that’s the positive. Oh and the ending the ending is realllllly great. Like the actual ending. She. The torture is over.

Nooow. I felt confused the whole time. Not like I didn’t know what was going on - I just didn’t know whyyy. That’s the whole 3 hours I will never get back. Asking why?? Why would you do it?? Gross fortune cookie baby fly spider things? The weird leper with the tongue? I get, I really do but still. I hate it. Mind you I totally forgot everyone else hated- but the hate is justified for obvious reasons. The majority of the movie is trying to figure the which kids match to the grown up version- then whyyyy they can remember anything- yet Stan did?? Right?? Does that make anyyyy sense???? How did he if the others didn’t? Was he still in Derry??? Whatever. And then they ALL split up??? They do know this crazy clown wants to kill them AGAIN?? And I stilllllll have no clue why they have the story of Pennywise being an immigrant that then joined the circus??? Since it’s something entirely different that I can’t figure out - bc whatever IT is takes form of a very specific thing- and whatever IT was to an ancient civilization IT is a clown when it comes to Derry, Maine. Makes sense clowns are terrifying. But heyyy even worse is his giant spider legs. Oh and when he shrivels into a gross little baby clown when they shoot him down and tell him he’s nothing. Like honestly- between allll of them seeeeeing their worst fears and memories- they couldn’t have pieces it together quicker. And did we really need anymore of the dumb romance stuff agggaaain.

Honorable mention to the freakish naked granny and Stan being turned into a weird head on spider legs. Really didn’t need that in my life. Thanks.

Rating: 0.1/10 Cats 🐈 (that’s me being generous)

[avese23]

//toh spoilers

CRYING

Literally grew up with Luz what the fuck

Everyone looks so gay

Darius dad figure confirmed!!

Omg Darius and the Blight dad 😳

How do they keep delivering

Blue bird <3

I need all the fanfiction please and thank you

OHMYGOD

and the morals!!!!

The collector was never a new big bad

And that sequence where the collector keeps trying to win at games and gets frustrated and you can tell the issue is that it’s a fight and they’re getting frustrated

And the conflict resolution

Cuz they’re just a kid

A really fucked up godly child

But just a kid

The pacing is so good on that end even with limitations

Kind of wanna cosplay them cuz the makeup look

Kings dad 😭😭😭

The journey of Luz’s magic omgg

Luz gets to keep both parts of her family 🫂

AMITYS HAIR WTF 😳

I want Gus’s hair highkey

I stole Sonja’s haircut and everytime I get braids I get closer to saying fuck it and starting dreads dear lord

They get to stomp on Belos hell to the yes

Skulls are so cool

Ooo I want to paint king

Bruh king as a teenager is giving Chameleon vibes

Awkward middle stage

But wholesome

FINALLY Raine gets to be happy

I was scared they were gonna die

They go through so much dear lord

Them and Hunter through the ringer dear lord

Dana why

They did a good main character revival plot

I know it’s a trope but it’s a good one

Cuz it’s about how they change!! Their arc!

It’s not about being a plot device it’s a character device

I have a friend who likes the trope a lot and we were talking about it before this episode came out so it felt special

Bruh the conversation about Belos between Luz and the titan

Reminded me of the conversation in TLOU where Ellie asks a question and Joel is like “no, {adult wisdom about trauma}” no spoilies, it’s near the end, you know the one 🦒.

Anywho I like those kinds of moments because it shows how young the protagonist is but doesn’t take agency away and it feels very genuine

Also bruh the symbolism of Luz and Belos as the two main humans in this story. But Luz came to the Isles as an immigrant and Belos as a colonizer. And Luz learning over the course of the show that that makes them very different things and not to feel shame in association to him. They are not the same. Stomp on that skull!

Bruh the Titan gave off Technodad vibes. Can’t proper explain it but he did 🫶🏽

So much exciting happened but again what got me was the ending. Like the end credits voice over with music shit. And right before that. Just. She’s going to wizard university. She’s grown up srygghjggh

We fucking came of age together what the fuck I’m not okay

@decentturtles help 😭

How can I do environmental science hw in this economy

Edit: and the way the show makes dance fighting delightful! Casting as a team is joyous even in danger

It’s like that here and it was like that for Grom 🫶🏽

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I can’t remember if Henrik home was ever seen. But how do you imagine it - traditional? Minimalist? Flat? House? Do you think he cooks Swedish food at home or has books in Swedish or due to trauma do you think he tried to completely assimilate even in his own home as an adult? Sorry if I sound victim Blamey trying to discuss this. I’m not good at Henrik meta so I’m just interested.

It's alright! I'm not easily put off when it comes to Henrik, unless people, like, infantilise him or pull the "Henrik never showed interest in men before Russ" type of stuff. (And I apologise for leaving this in my inbox for hours, I got distracted and caught up with some other stuff.)

We've seen Henrik's home thrice, I believe. S20E11 "The L Word" has Roxanna visit him, S20E13 "No Matter Where You Go, There You Are - Part Two" shows him at home at the very start (although it’s only a brief scene), and S21E30 "Don't Leave Me" shows him at home quite a bit. He definitely seemed to be living in a house in all 3 episodes, though it's not one we saw much of - the S20 eps only show the living room IIRC, and "Don't Leave Me" only shows the spare bedroom. (He also canonically has a flat in Stockholm, for whatever it's worth - we see it in S15E13 "Hanssen/Hemingway". It seems he lived there when he was a med student, going by Maja's mural there which is dated to 1983.)

I've always figured he probably keeps things fairly minimalistic. His house was a bit of a cluttered mess when Roxanna visited him, but he was having his post-Fredrik breakdown at the time, so I've always put it down to that. When he's in a better mental state, he's probably a lot more organised. Having said that, he is also definitely the sort of person who owns a LOT of books and has a ton of bookshelves around the house to hold them all. So his house is probably still a bit too cluttered to be totally minimalist, lol.

(I also headcanon that Henrik is a Doctor Who fan, and his favourite Doctor is, of course, the Eighth - the incarnation played by Paul McGann, for those who don't know their Doctor Whos. I mean, canonically, Henrik could be a Whovian! If nothing else, he's friends with Jason, who is a DW fan - he references the Fourth Doctor when offering Essie a jellybaby in S19E64 "Always Forever". So even if Henrik wasn't familiar with the show already, Jason could've got him into it.

Anyway, where I'm going with this that's relevant to Henrik's home decorating is that I love the idea of Henrik collecting Eighth Doctor action figures. Just because the mental image of Henrik bringing all his stuff over after moving in with Russ and Russ growing increasingly disturbed as he helps Henrik unpack all these mini John Gaskells is hilarious to me.)

We also know Henrik has a penchant for gardening, and in S13E44 "One of Those Days", he mentions that he grows roses. So I've always imagined he's got quite a lot of plants growing outside, but granted, the fact that we never saw his home during his first stint means that we don't actually know if where he was living then would be the same house he was living in after he came back to Holby (especially given he was planning on moving to Sweden permanently when he originally left).

Do you think he cooks Swedish food at home or has books in Swedish or due to trauma do you think he tried to completely assimilate even in his own home as an adult?

Oh, I am so glad you asked because I think I could talk about Henrik's identity as an immigrant all day. It's genuinely one of my favourite parts of his character, the way he doesn't quite fit in anywhere and nowhere quite feels like home to him - he's too Swedish for England, and too English for Sweden. I wish the show had explored it more.

I think he leans more towards the "tried to completely assimilate even in his own home as an adult" option, but not totally so. He's very detached from that part of his identity, but I think he does still get homesick and nostalgic for Sweden sometimes.

So he probably cooks Swedish food occasionally, and I absolutely believe he has some Swedish books around (I've actually mentioned it briefly in some of my unpublished fic) - mostly ones he bought when he was a young adult still living in Sweden and has kept hold of since, or copies of books he remembered enjoying when he was little. (We know he liked some Astrid Lindgren books in his childhood, and I have a strong headcanon he grew up reading the Moomin books - the woman who wrote them, Tove Jansson, based several aspects/characters in the stories off her own relationships with her girlfriends so... yeah, I just love the idea of young Henrik reading them so that he at least had one thing to turn to where there was some acceptance of queerness.)

He probably has books in a variety of languages, thinking about it, as he seems like an avid reader and we know he's quite a polyglot (alongside English and Swedish, he also canonically speaks French and German, and I think maybe more but those ones I know for sure off the top of my head).

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 19: Coyote Ugly

I did a lot of sleeping today, which I suppose is something I needed. I fell asleep on my couch last night, so that’s like not great is what I’m saying. But I think this was good for me and I hope to feel better tomorrow.

After dinner, I watched Coyote Ugly, which I had never seen before although perhaps I would have been better off seeing it when I was 11, when it first came out. I think it’s the sort of thing that needs to imprint on you early and then its extremely timely look and sound will make you feel nostalgic forever. Not that it takes much to make me nostalgic for the late 90s. That was about half the reason I watched it: I wanted some lighthearted stuff from that era. The other half was that I wanted to see hot women dance on a bar.

Overall, I liked it. It was fine. I think it had too much romance and general drama centered around Violet and too little hot women dancing on the bar. That’s actually a semi-serious critique. Like, Violet’s underdog chasing a creative dream story is fine, very standard, very common in that era of teen/young-adult-centered film, but it’s also just not that complex. I wanted to pretend to be at the bar, I wanted to see more of the other coyotes, I wanted the whole found-family feel around the bar itself. Truly. Those were the best parts. Although it was very obvious that the dancers and the actors were not the same people and the frenetic cutting to separate face shots from body and feet shots was a little dizzying. I liked Lil a lot and I wanted her to be my scary/hot boss/older-sister-figure. And I want to hear more about Tyra Banks in law school.

Also I don’t think she got enough credit for running a successful business as a woman, and for all of the work she and the other women did in like… fighting back men who are always on the edge of assaulting them. Like….girl, you couldn’t make this in 2024, there would be #discourse. Instead, we have the two biggest male roles judging Violet for her job—a job she’s good at, where she’s kept safe by the power of her female boss, and where she pretty obviously isn’t doing anything with which she’s uncomfortable. And neither of them really apologizes for it? Like maybe there is sort of a critique to be had of her choosing the bar over her chance to play live and further the career she actually wants. But she’s fired the same night so there really isn’t any resolution to that idea, any chance for her to actually choose priorities. I suppose it comes belatedly in her choice not to return to the bar—but that’s an easier thing to do than to quit, or to scale back, or to recalibrate her priorities on her own. Neither she nor Kevin really apologizes or resolves anything. Both Kevin and Violet’s dad are at the bar at the end, so I guess they basically got over it. But that works with the dad more in my opinion, because he really got into it, he saw just how ultimately it was harmless fun, and that was rather heartwarming. Kevin just kind of… sails along as “the boyfriend” and tbh I feel like he’d pulled out the sexist critiques in a moment if given the least provocation.

I think the implication was that he was an undocumented immigrant and I was sort of curious why they walked right up to that but never actually said it. I don’t know. Even though the romance was probably fully 40% of the film, it still felt very obligatory and paint by numbers to me. The men in these films are never worth shit.

But I did get my 90s aesthetic for sure. Random actors I fully did not expect to see showing up (Melanie Lynskey’s Jersey accent… I’m glad she chose a different American voice for Yellowjackets because can you imagine). The fashion. The color scheme. The music. The music! That list of bands appearing at the Bowery alone SENT me. Vertical Horizon. Edwin McCain. Suicide Machines. I need my 90s playlist immediately.