#but i do have the benefit of knowing how many volumes do i can start buying them

[kon-konk]

Y'all, we're really almost at the end of Servamp. Volume 21 is about to come out and Tanaka Strike has announced that the series will conclude with volume 23

I guess I was right when I said this felt like recent chapters were the start of a final battle

[wesstars]

heaven on earth (ii)

wednesday addams x fem!reader (mostly gn, only term used is “girl friend”)

summary: your friends-with-benefits situation with wednesday isn’t so friendly anymore, but if you could only uncover your own eyes, you might’ve noticed. wc: 5.5k tags: explicit, MINORS DNI! all characters involved are 18+. kinda ooc wednesday, painfully oblivious reader, bad fluff, fluff to smut, top!reader and bottom!wednesday, semi-public (car) sex, mild blood, biting, mild overstimulation. a/n: not sure how I feel about this lol. special thank you to 🕷️ anon for her ideas and workshopping <3 comments/asks welcome, as always!

read part one here! this can be read standalone, but is intended to be a continuation.

masterlist

For the fifth time, Wednesday slapped your thigh to get your attention. “Turn it down.”

You huffed a laugh, and figured it was time. You were playing your ‘obnoxious’ pop playlist, full of mostly Taylor Swift and random Korean bands. It was collaborative with Enid, and likely one of Wednesday’s least favorites. Lowering the volume, you tossed Wednesday your phone.

“Alright, it’s your turn.”

The two of you were driving back from a day trip to a nearby town—actually, you were supposed to be driving back the rest of Enid and Co, also, but while Wednesday was beyond ready to leave, they all wanted to stay and do something called a “holy trinity.” How someone could have so much alcohol in so little time was so bizarre to you, but then Wednesday, of all people, rolled her eyes and downed three shots in just as many minutes, and seemed no worse for wear. 

Seemed was the key word there—not a quarter of an hour later, she’d grabbed onto your arm, grip slack, and her eyes were becoming unfocused, roving all over your face only to miss your eyes and tack onto somewhere lower.

You’d coaxed her to eat something after that. Post French fries and buttered bread (she’d kill you after she knew you’d made her eat such unrefined food,) as well as a bottle and a half of water in, she’d mostly walked it off. You figured it was time to get Wednesday home. As far as you knew, the rest of your friends were still out, though you’d made Yoko promise to text you when they were leaving and when they got back. The windows were open in the car; the wind lifted Wednesday’s fringe off her forehead. You glanced over to where she was gingerly operating your phone, punching in letters on Spotify. Your heart twisted.

You didn’t really want to admit that weird feeling you had the first time, and all the rest of the times, you saw Wednesday. It was a sort of jittery one, with a swoop in your stomach, that made you want to prod her into a conversation. You’d gotten quite a bit more than you’d bargained for, from that first fateful kiss in the classroom, to every secret, heady rendezvous after. The last time you two had been intimate—fucked, in your bed—had left an indelible mark, natural as a shadow settled neatly in your chest. The bickering and play fights had only made things worse, and you knew you had to ignore it all, for Wednesday. To keep things the same, because… something’s better than nothing, right?

You supposed that “something” was where you were right now. Being her ‘girl friend,’ with a space in between, sex and unrequited feelings included, was the best place that you could ever be with her. You had those close moments with her that you could cherish, but also that emotional distance that Wednesday undoubtedly wanted. Perfect. Your childlike sentiments were ones that you were likely to carry in your heart, deep down, for fucking forever. They were never going to see the light of day.

Lilting piano filled the car, shoving images of you and Wednesday seated together before the keys into your mind. Your phone dropped back into your lap.

“Nocturne? In E minor.” You blurted out before you could stop yourself.

“I’m surprised you know.”

“Hey!” Indignant, you nearly shot something back that was sure to start one of your bickering matches again, when an unfamiliar sound rang through the car, lovely as the music, but something you’d never heard before.

“Did you just laugh?”

Wednesday’s mumbled denial was covered up by your own laugh, bordering on hysterical as your heart picked itself up and started racing. 

“Do not insult me like that,” Wednesday grumbled, rubbing the hem of her sweater between her fingers. “Focus on the road. Dying with you in a car crash is too pathetic to even consider.” Though her words were sharp as always, her even tone had something in it that, if one wasn’t careful, could be mistaken as gentle.

You snorted again, unable to stop laughing. “And if a double decker bus…” you sang, tapping your fingers on the steering wheel. Wednesday’s glare nearly sliced you clean in half, and you were smart for once, shutting up immediately. She wasn’t laughing anymore, and some part of you mourned that.

After Chopin played Liszt, Liebestraum no. 3, and you wondered if Wednesday knew how to queue on Spotify. You followed the winding road up the mountain. You’d be back at Nevermore soon, but selfishly, you didn’t want this to be over. It was an odd time, with no bickering, no siege, no sex, and who could blame you if you were feeling particularly, disgustingly, sentimental? Blame the Liszt.

Turning the car off the road, you pulled into a deserted vista point. Carpe diem, you thought, throwing caution to the wind and the car in park. 

“Why have you stopped?”

“Weds, we’re looking at the sunset.”

“I do not need to see it, it happens every day—”

“Oh, come on,” you laughed, unlocking the car doors and stepping out. With the wind whipping around you, blowing your hair every which way, you ducked to peek into the car. “Humor me, I guess. Don’t you feel sorry for me, or something?”

She gave you a pointed look. “I do not.” But she followed you out the car anyway.

Leaning on the hood, you looked out at the scene as she joined you. Spiky evergreens stretched out across the stony slopes, with the last vestiges of snow clinging to the tops. The sun stretched its longing light into the rapidly darkening east behind you, pulling taut the shadows and blanketing everything in an aureate shine.

You glanced over at Wednesday—despite her earlier protest, it seemed as if she was tolerating this. The tension around her brow was gone, and her arms hung relaxed by her sides. The silence wasn’t rare, but it felt reverent anyway. Your heart adored her in her outfit; it was something your mind refused to register. She was in black knee high boots, made of some leather you couldn’t pronounce, an inky dress, flowing in the wind, down to her thighs, and a soft deep gray sweater. There was a sort of bleeding sentiment, beginning to seep into your everyday life, into wondering what Wednesday would think of the book you were reading, imagining her reaction to Bianca’s quip, overthinking her hand clutching your sleeve in the courtyard.

You deliberated, vaguely, what it would be like if you tumbled down the mountainside, into those trees—would the wood be cushioning or bruising? It was a serious consideration, with all that you were feeling. Those damned feelings, ones that Wednesday would undoubtedly scorn, made you kick up the gravel underfoot in frustration.

Beside you, Wednesday cast an uninterested look over you at the noise, silently judging. A beat passed. She grabbed the collar of your shirt, wrinkling it, and pulled you into a bruising kiss. 

“I am going in the car. The back seat. Be not afraid.” She retreated, and gave a little smirk, one reserved for the golden light and dark trees.

It was purely unfair, as the blood rushed from your head to pool in your stomach, making your heart work overtime. Stumbling to the back seat, you’d barely sat down before Wednesday reached over to the console and locked the doors. She’d taken off her boots, leaving her legs clad in white socks scrunched around her calves.

She climbed into your lap without preamble, squeezing your hips with her thighs. The car roof meant she had to duck her head just a bit, giving you the perfect opportunity to press your lips to hers. Having Wednesday on top of you was the kind of thing that made your head spin. And spinning you were, down into that deep unending abyss where there was only the smell of hot sugar, pine, and iron. 

The Midas touch of the setting sun made Wednesday seem even paler, from her exposed knees to her small hands, glowing like some ethereal being. She kissed you as if she could wrap her teeth around you, like searching for sweetness in the corners of your mouth. Sure enough, there was something about her, a sense of urgency, that threatened to take in all of you. 

“This dress is nice,” you murmured, pushing it up her pale thighs, rubbing away the red marks her boots left on her calves. Your hands continued upward, to the light dampness of her inner thighs.

“You said you liked it last time.” Wednesday immediately glanced away, as if she hadn’t meant to say those words. There was a faint flush to her cheeks again, but the two of you were fogging up the car windows.

You ignored the pulsing in your stomach that traitorously screamed she wore this for me? “It’s enchanting,” you said. “Like a witch of the wood.”

You nosed your way into the nape of her neck again, a favorite spot of yours, unable to stop your stupid mouth from running. “I adore it…” You pulled her tighter to your lap, skimming the seam of her underwear at the juncture of her thigh. “Can I touch you, Wednesday?”

“Get on with it,” she said, breathlessly, indulging you with a quick quirk of her lips. 

Skimming the back of your hand up between her thighs, you sent your other hand to palm her chest through her dress. You felt her through her panties, the fabric soft and smooth from her slick. Dipping your hand below the waistband, you wasted no time finding her clit. Her breath came down hard—it was her tell, you knew, even when her face remained mostly impassive.

She was sensitive today, back arching with a small gasp as soon as you touched her. Hand shooting past your head, Wednesday grabbed onto the headrest, hard enough for the leather to creak. Her outstretched arm was right next to your head, and you couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss the inside of her elbow. 

She sighed, unfurling tendrils of a storm in smooth skies. “You have all of me,” Wednesday said, something soft.

You press a kiss to Wednesday's forehead, equally soft, as you curl your fingers again. “If only, Wednesday,” you said, unthinking.

Wednesday froze, squeezing her other hand on your shoulder hard enough to leave pretty bruises under your collared shirt.

You pulled back, cocking your head. “What is it?”

She furrowed her brow at you, as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing, then glanced away quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Your fingers traced another circle around her clit.

“Stop asking.” Her voice was firm, but it had a waver in the middle, like she’d almost changed her mind. 

“I’ll stop asking,” you whispered, “if you tell me what’s up.” Her eyes were glazed over with a sheen not unlike her slick that coated your fingers, something shiny and sweet. 

“You’re hopeless,” she said, not even a second before she clapped her hand over your mouth.

What an Addams wants, an Addams gets, you surmised, blinking quickly. You rubbed your free hand up and down her thigh, trying to soothe her, but she only moved her hand to grip your jaw, her intent the sear of fire through the underbrush.

“I do not like repeating myself,” she said quietly, “so listen closely.” She shifted closer to you on your lap, car leather squeaking, settling on her knees so your nose was in her collar. She reached down and gave you a handkerchief from her pocket. Knowing what she meant, you pulled your fingers from her warmth, feeling a hard lump in your throat. “And make no noise.”

You nodded. She looked wild on top of you, hair mussed from your make out session, the apples of her cheeks a dusty rose.

“Honesty colors me,” she said by way of explanation. “And you talk too much, so this is how it will have to be.” She seemed to think for a moment, biting her lip. Her burgundy lipstick contrasted so starkly with her gray sweater, as if she was the only screaming color in a black and white world. She might hate that, you mused absently. Maybe she was more a whirlpool of the blackest black, sucking in all of the color and light around it so that you had no choice but to be drawn in, to the only real thing you’d ever known.

“You’re stupid,” Wednesday started, matter-of-factly. “Just like everyone else.” You nodded, used to this sort of thing by now. “But your particular brand of stupidity is showing its truth.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, arms automatically going around her waist while you leaned back to look at her. Where she was going with this, you had no idea. You only knew that that whirlpool was making its way closer and closer to you.

“At first, our… arrangement was indeed purely physical.” She paused. “But things have changed, quite drastically. I do believe I’ve reached a… point of no return, but I have since found a balance.”

Wednesday locked her eyes on yours, unflinching. “I give myself to you time and time again-” the words were unfamiliar from her mouth- “yet, you seem to give no indication that you know. ‘If only?’ It’s nearly laughable.” She gave a huff, though her gaze was contemplative. You cocked your head, mind uncomprehending, mouth dry.

“You have my heart, beating or still.” Her words rang quiet in the car. Your own heart started up again, with all the betrayal of a thrumming bass. You tried to push it down, but it didn’t erase the reality of what Wednesday had just said—did Wednesday ever lie? She was good at it, sure, but you’d long learned that Wednesday’s word was her end. “And it appears as though you are completely unaware.”

“Unaware?” You broke her rule, and you could see the tick of annoyance in her eyes. But you plowed on anyway. “Are you saying that you have my—that I don’t know that I have your—that you like me?”

“My devotion is more than that,” Wednesday said casually, “but it may be that you’re unable to handle that at this time.”

Sure enough, you could feel your body informing your mind that you were hyperventilating, Wednesday’s weight on your lap the only thing keeping you from shooting off to Saturn.

“I don’t—” you struggled for your words, the usual wit you showed while bickering with Wednesday, the strategy you’d used to defend Jericho, absolutely nowhere to be seen.

“Need I pull stars from the sky to prove myself to you?” she said, raising an eyebrow in amusement, as if she wasn’t blowing through every poorly stacked defense of yours. It would be just like Wednesday, for every word of hers to be devastating and world shifting. No one knew Wednesday Addams and remained unchanged—that was just the kind of person she was, romantic as murder via blade. Perhaps to her, your wide eyed reaction was enough of a damning confession. “You’ll be the end of me, but what bliss that would be.” 

“Um,” you started, eloquently. “You’re… you’re not thinking straight,” you rasped out, mind freezing. You could feel your back stuck to the seat, unyielding. “You’re—”

“If I didn’t know you and your oblivious tendencies, I would think that it is almost insulting of you to doubt me.” She gave a small sniff, chin held high. “You think that just because you do not recognize my words, means that I am not in a right state of mind?”

In one fluid motion, she pressed her forehead to yours, and cradled your face between her two cold hands. Your name felt like salvation from her lips; “believe me, I’m wide awake.”

Your jaw went slack, and you were sure you looked as much a dumbass as you felt.

“I intended for my… vulnerability,” Wednesday’s voice wavers on the word, “to be a sign for you, but either you are just that unobservant, or you are unwilling to admit to what is right before your eyes.”

“I’d never not pick up on something on purpose, Weds.” Your brain was wading through a thick mud, unable to turn at the speed that Wednesday wanted.

“Does that mean that you are willfully disregarding the way I show myself to you?” Finally, in her words, you were able to see the exact vulnerability that she had alluded to.

“No, I’d never, I just… didn’t want to hope,” you said, embarrassed. “Romance isn’t your thing.”

“It’s not,” she replied simply, quietly. “I understand your reservations.” Wednesday’s hands held an imperceptible tremble, but her gaze was strong.

“No—of course I—” your throat tightened, but you felt the weight falling from your shoulders anyway. That was something you recognized. “Of course I like you.”

The silence rang yet again, and Wednesday’s eyes widened, the onyx of them turning warm as molten metal. The exact expression in them was hard to place, but it calmed you, in the wake of speaking aloud something you’d been afraid to admit to yourself.

A thought occurred to you, more clear than any you’d had since Wednesday had opened her mouth. “Even if we’d never—if we never have sex again, I’d still l—like you.”

Despite the way you stumbled into and over your words, Wednesday’s dark eyes on yours grew warm, pupil blurring into iris; the corner of her mouth gave an upwards tick.

“In the cracks of light,” Wednesday whispered, reverent as prayer as her fingertips traced your cheekbone, “I see the heaven on earth I’ve won with you.”

She kissed you then, and you couldn’t hold back any more. It was something like pure relief—though your mind still didn’t quite comprehend Wednesday’s confession (confession!), your heart broke the dam, pulling you down past inhibition. Spiraling to Wednesday’s gravity, it was as natural as breathing to give in.

Wednesday, all knowing as always, must’ve seen the way your resolve broke. She slid her mouth against yours, open and hot, unhurried but eager. The car leather under your thighs was as warm as Wednesday on top of you—not even she was immune to the rays of waning sunlight, it seemed.

“You know,” you muttered, between capturing her lips, “it’s just like you to say all that about moving heaven and earth. Most people just say ‘I like you.’” It wasn’t a complaint by any means; with your hands on her waist, you’d have it no other way.

“As I said, it is more than that.” She took a breath, completely steady and confident, now. “You consume me, completely.”

“And you, I,” you said softly, as if you could do anything but agree to her heady desire. “I’ve got you, Wednesday.”

Her forehead dropped to your shoulder, arms wrapped tight around you. It took a moment for you to realize that in her silence after your words, she was grinding down, near imperceptibly, into your lap.

“Mmm, my love,” you murmured, the significance of the endearment not lost on you, “look at you.” Sliding a hand up her back to her hair, you felt her braids through your fingers. You ran your hands down once more, under her sweater to feel the muscles around her shoulder blades. The heat you felt through her dress from where she was pressed to you, through your trousers, was something out of a darkest dream, unable to be forgotten.

Wednesday leaned up again, eyes sharp as a lance, to brand you with a kiss. She bit your lip, breaking through skin, and you grinned at the pain. It was hard and harsh, comforting like the thin edge of a knife. You felt the blood seeping into the seams of your teeth, rain in scorched earth. Intoxicated, you seemed to float closer into that sweet and dark whirlpool.

“That hurt, Wednesday…” you leaned in, voice dropping. “I wanna…” There was a beat of silence where you could only taste the copper in your mouth, sweet as you knew the slick between her thighs to be. You shifted your grip to her hips, bruising, and the soft little moan Wednesday gave in response spurred you on. “I wanna hurt you.”

You did, helplessly. Of course, you would rain hell on anyone that so much as lifted a finger against Wednesday, but to hold her trust that came with pain—you wanted that from her, to know when she hurt, when she wanted to hurt. Whether it was holding her back from the edge, or flying and dropping together to the bottom, bodies crashing against one another, you wanted it. Like something out of a classical myth, with wings of wax or blood, you would burn and be burned to feel the weightless warmth of that golden light.

There was no hesitation for Wednesday, just a look in her eyes that you’d come to know intimately as hunger. “Hurt me.” Her voice was low, nearly fond, in your ear as her eyes tracked the blood collecting on your lips. She leaned towards you and licked, tongue to your teeth, translucent saliva mixing with the burgundy. “I want it to hurt—I want you to hurt me.”

When she leaned back, her lipstick was stained with your blood, and it made you want to bleed if only she was the one taking it. You leaned your temple to her jawline, eyes burning at the sun through the windshield. Your hands continued once again up her thighs, just as reverent as before. The two of you never could do anything by half—you were always Wednesday’s. Realizing it, speaking it aloud, confessing or not, couldn’t have changed that. Despite that, as you rocked back and kissed the blood off Wednesday, you felt as though you were on your knees, professing everything you were. Giving one last cheeky swipe of your tongue on her lips, you went to tug Wednesday’s panties down. She followed your lead easily, tossing the expensive garment somewhere to the side. 

“My sweet girl,” you sighed, something possessive curling in your words. “What would you like?”

“Everything.” There was a devout way about her utterance that had your hands shaking with the desire to fulfill her. “Touch me.”

Crossing one arm around her to clasp the back of her neck, you brought her face close to yours, the tips of your noses brushing.

“Everything? How much can we do with ‘everything’ when you’re so sensitive, angel?” On cue, Wednesday’s eyes slipped shut as you drew a finger along her pussy to find her wet and wanting.

“Don’t you think you should be the one to answer that?” Her voice, bold and challenging, shook up your stomach like champagne. You were completely, utterly ruined before Wednesday Addams, and it was a nearly celestial ruin, so bright and beloved it nearly hurt.

You didn’t hesitate, slipping your finger in and grinding your palm on her clit. You didn’t miss her knees sliding further apart, that elusive grin gracing her face as she tipped her head back. Only her tight hold on your shoulders kept her from falling into your lap. Your mouth tasted of iron, such a contrast to Wednesday’s burnt sugar sweat on your tongue as you licked a stripe up her jaw to bite her earlobe. Drawing every small sigh out, you took your time, curling your fingers the way you knew she liked. You squeezed your hand, heavy where her shoulders met her neck. The jagged breaths she took in response made you crave more, and your stomach burned with contentment when she let you press another finger inside of her.

Wednesday’s half lidded eyes tracked down your neck, hunter to the scent of fear, leaving a shiver in her wake. It was inexplicably easy to discern what she wanted, even as she threaded her hands in your hair, something tingling and distracting.

“Go ahead, I know you want to.” Like blood rushing back into white fingertips, her soft lips were on your neck, undoubtedly leaving a smear of lip stain that you’d have to be chastised to wipe off. Almost as if she’d read your mind, she was sucking at your skin, impatient. Already you could feel the raised welt, and the way her tongue soothed the strain.

“You’re mine,” she breathed out, harsh despite the way she was panting with every twist of your fingers.

“Yeah,” you whispered, the haze of being Wednesday’s blurring your every action. “I’m yours.”

You curled your fingers, and had to bite down a moan as her teeth sank deeper into your neck, a cause and effect that you’d kill for. You swore as she set sight on your jawline, the sweet shock of her hot tongue making you shiver. 

“Took you long enough,” she muttered darkly—it seemed she was satisfied with the state of your neck, since you could feel the skin throbbing pleasantly. She leaned back, proffering her own throat.

“I was always yours,” you said easily. “I can just…” you trailed off as your sharp teeth met her skin in the spot you knew she liked, making her cry out, “show you better now.”

Wednesday’s hands tightened in your hair, pulling a broken gasp from your throat. Her smirk, challenging as she took in your reaction, only spurred you on. It was pure selfishness, when you grinned lazily as she tugged. You gave as good as you got, though, each curl of your fingers and shift of your hand had her trembling.

She was close; you could feel it in the uneven cadence of her breath, almost as erratic as yours. Pulling the collar of her sweater aside, you worked your tongue against her jugular, her pulse tempting and honey sweet in your mouth. It was nearly tangible between your teeth, soft and solid, the pounding of her pulse, just milliseconds away from your own.

“C’mon, Wednesday,” you whispered in her ear, “just like that.”

Her breath stuttered, climbing up higher to the returning lump in your throat. It was always a marvel, the way that Wednesday was so incredibly responsive to you, your touch or your words. The hard catch of her lip between her teeth made you grin, and you reached out, tugging it free. You leaned in to kiss her forehead as you slipped your thumb in her mouth instead, your fingers never stopping. 

“Wednesday.” She turned her glossy eyes towards you, and it was the closest you’d ever seen her to coming without really falling. “Let go.”

At your words, she gasped, and you could feel her cunt pulse around your fingers as she came. Her teeth bit into your skin and her eyebrows knitted together ever so gently—you loved to watch her come undone. She was all soft moans and flushed cheeks, open in a way that she hardly ever was otherwise. It unfurled something bright and warm in your chest, spreading out into your fingertips. You felt as hazy as she looked, the smell of her spilling into the air and undoubtedly lingering in your chest.

“That’s perfect, love, you’re so good for me.” You shushed her as she panted, eyes unfocused beneath her mussed fringe, but searing into yours. You continued your palm on her clit, holding her tight as her body stuttered. You moved your hand to cup her face, smoothing over unshed tears along her waterline.

“You’re…” Wednesday gave a low groan as you hit that sensitive spot inside of her again, none too gently.

“Yes,” you answered gently. “You’ll tell me if you want me to stop, won’t you?” She nodded, eager, as she pushed her hips into your hand, even though it made her whole body shiver. 

“Fuck—”

You hummed in response, feeling her cunt open even easier now that she was impossibly wetter. As you worked a third finger into her, Wednesday’s spine went rigid, a whining, desperate sound you’d never thought you’d hear breaking from her throat. She grabbed your hand, and her palms were damp. Her grip on your wrist was tight, just as much keeping you from progressing as it was keeping you from pulling away. You leaned in by her ear. “Does it hurt?”

She gave a jerky nod, jaw clenched and lips parted. You would turn a storm on its head for those ways that Wednesday strayed from her control, especially when you were the one guiding that meandering path. Pressing the heel of your hand into her clit, you laughed, small and indulgent, as she clung tighter to you, a strained little cry escaping. 

“Good girl, Wednesday… you’re taking it so well, aren’t you? You’re taking me so well, darling…” Fisting the front of her sweater in your hand, you pulled her off balance, tugging her close so her lips fell to yours, easy as breathing. Swallowing every single prized whimper that fell from her, you kissed her slow. Wednesday was already sensitive, but this was intense for even her, you could tell. Her breath came shakily against you as you pulled away, having smeared her lipstick to your content. Fingers sliding punishingly against her clit, your laugh rumbled low in your chest as she keened, soft and just a bit pleading.

“Very good, Wednesday, my love,” you coaxed. Her gasp, more like a sob, washed over you in a satisfaction that made you shudder. The slick from her previous orgasm clung to your hand, making it easy to keep up your punishing pace. Her tears shined like sea glass in her lashes, as devout to the cause of ruining her cheeks as the dusk outside was to darkness. You had no idea how much time had passed, only that if she asked, you’d stay right here with her until daylight again.

“I’m—” A whine rose from her throat, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“You can do it, baby-” your thumb circled her clit as your fingers found their way impossibly deeper into Wednesday- “just for me, okay?”

“Okay,” she repeated, mindlessly. This world where Wednesday let herself trust you to take care of her was one you could live in, drown in, make your home in. You raised your hand to the juncture of her neck and jaw, heavy and comforting. Reminded of every time Wednesday had put her hand in that same place on you when you were on your knees in front of her, more intimate than anything, you tugged on her wrist, instantly missing her hold in your hair. Intertwining your fingers together, you held your hands together in between you and Wednesday. 

Without a warning, her fingers tightened around yours, so hard that her knuckles turned white. You could see that how hard she came took her by surprise, too—eyes wide open and pupils blown. It was breathtaking, you thought, just how much tension was in her, all tense shoulders and choked cry. Her nails dug into your skin, her grip tethering you from dropping off with her. It stung, and you loved it, the maroon of your blood welling up just enough to smear her fingertips. 

Wednesday’s head fell into the nape of your neck, nuzzling like she could find the world’s secrets in your skin. Hand still in hers, you wiped away the smeared burgundy around the corners of her mouth with your thumb pad, fingers lingering.

“That was devious,” she murmured, words blurring around each other.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you chuckled. She nodded, somewhat resolutely. You eased your fingers out, tucking them surreptitiously into your mouth. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Wednesday, but she only narrowed her eyes.

Even in her post-orgasm daze, Wednesday looked dangerous. Her fringe was all over the place, getting caught in her eyelashes, and you could finally attribute the pink in her cheeks to something a little more than the fogged up windows. Surely, this was heaven on earth, having Wednesday with you, steady as planetal orbit. You shifted her to sit sideways in your lap, making sure her knees didn’t burn from the leather. She was watching you, carefully. It was almost as if she was trying to memorize you, the studious way she looked at you, like she was the sole messenger for a world that wasn’t allowed to take you in. It made your heart pound, finally in accordance with your head. You let her take her time in your arms, rubbing her shoulders. The little press of her lips was back, something you had adored for something dangerously similar to ‘forever.’ She seemed content in a way she hardly ever was, the haze in her eyes clearing as she studied you. 

“You’ve changed a lot since I met you,” she commented, not unkindly.

You looked down into Wednesday’s face, at the night air drifting through her hair again. You could feel the sting from the little crescent shaped marks that her nails left. It was a warm contrast to her cold hand in yours, clasped between you. “You changed me, Wednesday.”

--

wednesday: you have bewitched me, mind, body, and soul… i love, i love, i love you. 

reader: huh?

a/n cont’d for those brave souls that made it this far: yes, wednesday’s dress has pockets. isn’t that wonderful?

I’m SO BAD at writing fluff. plus, reader is the most unreliable narrator to unreliably narrate. should’ve put “painfully oblivious” as a warning for part one too.

please do not repost, reproduce, copy, translate, or take from my work in any way. thank you!

masterlist

[adventuringblind]

Any chance you could do Lando x AUDHD (Autism&ADHD) reader?? Either just him or poly with Oscar, maybe Oscar try a keep them both in line??

The Responsible One

Landoscar x Reader

Summary: Oscar reflects back on the chaotic duo he has for partners

Warnings: none :)

Notes: Lando is ADHD coded... change my mind, I dare you. Also, a life update for you all! I know things have slowed down, but I am still writing! I've been working my ass off and getting ready to start my masters program, so life has been insane. Thank you all for the continued support! ❤️

Masterlist

It certainly wasn't anything new to Oscar, having to manage both Lando and their girlfriend. The chaos they bring with every footstep is insane, but he loves them both dearly.

One time, he found them deep in a conversation about the difference between chocolate and vanilla. Sometimes, he gets absoloute silence only to be interrupted by Lando's strange thoughts that he just needs to say.

Don't get him started on taking them anywhere out to eat. He hates anything to do with it because both of them have differening food sensory issues. It's a pain to get them to agree on anything.

His favorite moments are when both of them are incredibly clingy. It's like being suffocated with hugs, kisses, and cuddles. It's an amazing way to die if you ask him.

He once had to run around looking for them because neither was getting back to him. Turns out they were asleep on the floor together. Blankets tangled with their limbs. Rain sounds playing from somebody's phone. They looked so cute and peaceful, and Oscar does love to sleep. So the Australian joined them in their huddle on the floor.

Speaking of the floor: why are they both obsessed with it? He can't tell you exactly why, but they both love it. Floor time is an essential part of their day that Oscar has adapted to. When Kim started finding him on the floor, he laughed and said, "Oscar! They got you, too!" Apparently, Max also likes the floor because of them. Then Charles started because of Max. The domino effect her supposes.

The one thing he spends most of his time trying to figure out is volume. Specifically why Lando can be quite on second and not the next. It's a jump from word to word sometimes. Whereas the female is so random, he can't predict it. He wouldn't mind it, except for when they set each other off, and then she gets overstimulated. Lando feels so bad that he has to apologize at the end of every sentence for the rest of the day.

He spends many hours trying to soothe both of them. He knows, however, that's at the end, he will be treated to comfort food and a movie. Not because he needs it neccecarily, but because the other two do, and he gets to reap the benefits.

Humor and jokes with the two are his favorite. One of them is blunt, and she loves to tell people like it is. She has no filter really and is a deadpan like Oscar himself. The other can't lie to save his life but tries. He lacks a filter in such a strange way that really Oscar never knows what he's going to say. Oscar is constantly having to hold in his laughs.

They both talk his ear off about random information about the things they love, but he could listen to them all day. They get overstimulated and need breaks. But he's happy to provide a safe space. They cuddle and hug and cling to each other, but he basks in it.

They love him unconditionally, including him. They make him feel wanted.

And it doesn't matter him to him how many people ask him why, or how many tell him they are too chaotic. He could care less. He loves them because they are the definition of distraction walking around as humans.

They are his chaos. He doesn't mind being the responsible one if he gets to keep laying on the floor listening to their ramblings.

And what can he say? It's fun to watch them be brutally honest with people.

[lilmissnoobster]

Andrei Nolan NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Andrei is a sucker for cuddling. Would lay on his back with your head on his chest calming down from the intense moment.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his arms, the muscles he has built up over the years of serving in the military makes it easier to manhandle you into positions that he likes.

He loves your thighs; squeezing, pinching, gripping all of it! Would deem it an honor to be suffocated by them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Deep in you for sure! If you’re not into that then he’ll pull out and cum on your entrance.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He fantasizes about a threesome with the two of you and Makarov. The thought of you between the two of them makes him feral.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Pretty average experience, knows a good deal about the body to give you more pleasure.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Mating press. Being able to manhandle you into the position while guaranteeing he can cum deep into you while getting a good view of your face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Mid-serious, he doesn’t have much time due to being second in command so he cherishes the time he has with you. Will still laugh if something humorous happens.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps it trimmed, not overly bushy but not clean-shaven.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He looks at you like you hung the stars. Worships you and your body like it’s his last day on earth.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not often due to his schedule, will send videos of himself doing it though to let you know that you’re on his mind.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Power-play, rigging, praise with hidden degradation, choking, brat taming, edging, and overstimulation.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom, but won’t complain if you end up in a closet or bathroom stall.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you in tight clothes.His main motivation is seeing you in his shirt and a pair of tight booty shorts.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that could endanger your life if not well versed. Gunplay, knifeplay, choke collars. Does not like you not being able to communicate with him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Is a mix of both, loves seeing you on your knees infront of him. But enamored by your taste, loves being crushed by your thighs when he does.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Likes to start slow, then builds it up until the bed starts to roughly shake like your thighs would be afterwards.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sees them as a godsend. With how busy he is he loves releasing stress with his beautiful partner.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Only after research is done, does not like to try something new without seeing the risks and benefits.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

About three rounds, this Aussie man has the endurance to make them last a while though.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Sees toys as a plus, loves seeing how much pleasure he can get from you with a vibrator.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Is a fair teaser, knows that you will have to wait for him to have a chance to get away long enough.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Grunts and groans, talks you through it, occasionally moans if he is overstimulated. Has whimpered before when you take control and tease him for a while.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Used to have a Prince Albert piercing, removed it when he enlisted though for safety reasons.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Muscular body with a short, thick cock. Average length but nicely thick to stretch you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty normal, gets pent up if he doesn’t release about three times a week.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

When he is done comforting you he dozes off after about ten minutes.

[barananduen]

Art Advice: How to Deal with Art Block

Welcome to my Art Advice Articles series! In this issue, we'll talk about the different types of art block and how to break through them.

TYPE 1: I want to draw, but I don't know what!

TYPE 2: I want to & know what to draw, but it doesn't come out right.

2a) I've never been able to draw the way I want

2b) I used to like my art, but not anymore

TYPE 3: I have ideas but no motivation

TYPE 4: I want to draw, but I'm scared my new art won't measure up to my last good piece

Choose your type of art block from the list above the cut, and skip to the corresponding section below:

🌟TYPE 1 - I WANT TO DRAW, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT!

This is the easiest type of art block to deal with. DRAW ANYTHING! It doesn't have to be something spectacular; drawing an object on your desk or in your room will do; it will help you break out of this art block. Here are some ideas for you:

Ask people for suggestions. You don't have to draw all of them; just do the ones that appeal to you, in any way you wish.

Draw random objects: decorations, an insect, a slice of pie...

Close your eyes, draw a doodle/random shape. Open your eyes, try to make a creature out of it. Now redraw the creature with purpose.

Draw a scene or character from the last movie you watched / book you read / song you listened to.

Experiment with a different art form, like photography, crafts, dancing, etc. or a different medium (acrylic, pastel, pencils, etc.). This will shift your focus while still keeping your mind thinking creatively. Working with different art forms will: 1) loosen you up, and 2) give you ideas that you can apply to your main form/medium.

The last idea has another benefit. While working with a new art form, you will hone different skills, that will help you with your "main" medium if you have one (or the media you normally do). For example, if you draw and are stuck, working on photography can help you with composition and depth of field, among other things. Scrapbooking or making collages can help you with textures, color palettes, and also composition. Sculpting can help you with volume and angles. Dancing can help you with poses. You see things in a different light and can come up with new, fresh ideas. :)

🌟TYPE 2 - I WANT TO & KNOW WHAT TO DRAW, BUT IT DOESN'T COME OUT RIGHT

This type can take two forms:

a) You've never been able to draw the way you want; or b) You used to like your art, but now you no longer do.

The good news is: both are temporary!

⭐ 2.a - I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DRAW THE WAY I WANT

Many, many people who are starting with art are under the misconception that art learning is a relatively quick process, that you can get good at art in just a couple of months, whereas the fact is, it takes years to get to the level we want, with art as with anything else.

Exercise what I call The Three Ps:

Patience

Practice

Perseverance

We must have patience! It's important to give yourself time; focus, don't rush, and don't get exasperated when things don't go the way you wish they would. They will, with time.

In the meantime, practice! Do studies (from life or photos, not from others' art so you don't accidentally copy other artists' mistakes). Learn how to use shading to convey volume. Practice different light sources. Learn and practice anatomy. Learn about lighting and colors. Try different subjects, styles, genres - experimenting and learning to draw different things is super important! Branching out will not only aid in building your skill-set, but can also help you find what you like.

Keep going and don't give up! You must persevere!

While you're doing that ...

Focus on the journey, not just on the end goal. It is important to enjoy the process for its own sake. This attitude will help with patience and perseverance, and will keep you happy longer.

While you're doing this, don't feel discouraged when things don't turn out the way you want! EVERYONE makes mistakes! And everyone has had to go through a learning process. Just because you don't see others posting things with mistakes doesn't mean they didn't happen. Take mistakes in stride, have a little humor with yourself, and learn from them.

⭐2.b - I USED TO LIKE MY ART, BUT NOT ANYMORE

Usually, when you feel you've hit a wall, when you feel like you're no longer happy with your art, it's right before you begin to improve again, so don't let that feeling make you quit.

What happens is that your brain (your inner art critic) is no longer satisfied with your current work because you've seen things you like better, and, subconsciously, you're going "my work would be better if I could do _." The thing is, once you become aware of what that blank is (which will happen), you'll start working toward achieving it, and you'll be moving forward again.

Sometimes it's helpful to take a short break to clear your mind a little, like when you've been working on a project/paper too long and need a break from it because you can't think anymore. Take a few days, maybe a week or two, but don't quit entirely! In the meantime, you can use your creativity in other media. Try photography, crafts, decorative cooking, anything! Give yourself some time and approach things with a fresh perspective. Give your brain a break from what's bogging you down.

When you come back, you can do three things:

Try again. Sometimes things just "click" after you've taken your focus off of the matter for a while, like how you can better spot errors in an essay after you've laid it down for a day or two, than right after you've finished writing it

Go back and review the basics again. You don't need to spent ages doing this; it's just a refresher. Sometimes, we get hung up on our methods and forget something we once knew we should be doing. A refresher's always good. Personally, I make it a point to go back and briefly review the basics every couple of years.

You can try approaching things in different ways. Experiment! Do things in ways you didn't do them before. Try different types of lighting, coloring, shading, for example. Maybe you'll find something you like better than what you were doing before.

The important thing here is to realize that this sudden dissatisfaction with your work is a GOOD THING! It means you're about to make a leap and get even better! So, embrace it and don't feel discouraged by it!

🌟TYPE 3 - I HAVE IDEAS BUT NO MOTIVATION

This one might be brought on by other things going on in your life, maybe things that are making you feel down. Sometimes, even music or books or whatever used to get you in the mood to do art doesn't work.

Force yourself to draw -ANYTHING- (See TYPE 1 for ideas). This will help jump-start you, and then you can get back to drawing cool things. The same applies to writing - write anything! A poem, a haiku, an anagram. Do a few and you'll get back in the mood. If you do photography, just take your camera and head out. Take pics of ordinary things from different angles; try a type of photography you don't usually do. Don't worry about the results being good. Just focus on doing the thing.

When I've had this type of art block and did these things, I got out of it fairly quickly. When I didn't, and sat it out hoping it would go away on its own, I stopped doing art for five years, and in the process forgot many things I already knew about how to make art. Different people work in different ways, but I do recommend that if you feel this type of art block has been going on for too long, actively do something to try to get out of it, like the examples I mentioned above. You don't want it to drag on long enough to set you back in your progress.

🌟TYPE 4 - I WANT TO DRAW, BUT I'M SCARED MY NEW ART WON'T MEASURE UP TO MY LAST GOOD PIECE

Lastly, I want to address the mental cage that is choking under pressure. You can feel pressured by external sources (other people, social media) and by internal sources (yourself). Sometimes, you might feel like you have to perform at a certain level, and that pressure may make you perform below what you usually do. In worse cases, it may make you freeze and scared to even try! Don't let pressure play you wrong. Breathe deeply a few times and clear your mind… and draw without worrying about it! Just draw!

It's like how, sometimes, doodles on lined paper come out better than things you draw on a white sheet or on a canvas… it's because you're not putting pressure yourself to come up with a masterpiece.

Draw without worrying about how good or bad the outcome will be. If it's not as good as your last piece - nothing bad happens! Honestly! But you know what does happen if you freeze up because you're afraid you won't measure up to your previous works? You will not create equal or even better works at all! So, let go of the pressure, don't worry, and just draw. You WILL make better works; it's natural and makes sense. More practice and time leads to improvement, no matter what level you're improving from. Just give yourself the opportunity to do so!

Let go of pressure and expectations and just draw for the sake of it! You'll do fine.

Yes, it's important to challenge yourself and break out of your comfort zone to learn new skills, but sometimes (like when you're in this type of art block), going with your own personal strengths will give you the morale boost you need to draw again, and then you can keep moving forward and tackle challenges and new things with more confidence.

Believe in yourself! And remember: don't stop or you won't create the next awesome artwork you didn't know you would make, because your future pieces will always be better than your past ones. Don't forget that!

🌟CLOSING

I hope his article can give you some ideas and motivation to help you plow through your art block, whichever type it may be, and you'll be back on your way to creating beautiful works! 💟

~B~

You can find the index to all Art Advice Articles [here]

[no-less-than-a-god]

Narinder, through the Red Crown, had watched the Lamb fall to heretics, outnumbered and overwhelmed while already sporting wounds, with one of the small horns on their head snapped clean off. They had fallen with a crying bleat of surprise, caught off-guard by their own lifeforce being ripped from their body.

Now, they stand before The One Who Waits, brushing once-bloody hands against their red fleece with an air of unbotheredness, injuries and horn mended. Death, to the Lamb, is something they’ve long since come to embrace, and are long accustomed to the ethereal nature of the gateway.

“You will return to strike down the ones that have cut you down,” Narinder issues to the Lamb, and moves a hand to resurrect them safely back into the cult grounds.

“Wait!” the Lamb suddenly calls out, raising their splayed hands to their god in a show of impulsivity. Narinder stops, emaciated hand half-raised, and listens. Seeing his attention caught, the Lamb bows their head slightly as they continue speaking, a much quieter and mature volume this time, “I require assistance from you.”

The god leans closer to his vessel. “What do you seek, Lamb? How might your god help you?”

“I am but an ignorant, uneducated fool,” the Lamb proclaims, lifting their head and closing their eyes. Unbeknownst to them, Narinder’s eyes twitch at their words. “Two followers, a sow and a bear, approached me the other night seeking to be wed. To marry, as they said. I told them that I would handle all preparations and the responsibility to wed them, but I am at a loss, for I don’t know what they mean.”

“You seek knowledge,” Narinder summarizes. From either side of the Lamb, Baal and Aym perk up at hearing new words, and the god allows his disciples to learn along with his vessel. “You seek the meaning of marriage.”

“Marriage?” the Lamb parrots, and they open their eyes to furrow them curiously.

“Yes. Your followers wish to marry, to enter a marriage. This is done through a wedding, a type of celebration and mortal ritual to bind the two in spoken vows.”

“Is there a reason for marriage?” the Lamb asks. Narinder thinks, contemplating, before he chooses to reply.

“Many marry for love,” he starts. “Others marry for convenience, and some are forced into it by circumstances. There can exist many reasons for two to marry, but you must admit, it’s better to walk the earth with someone than alone, nay?”

The Lamb is silent, hand to their chin in thought. The One Who Waits allows them to think, and eventually, they look back up to meet their god’s eyes.

“I think I understand. When two want or need to share a binding of spoken vows, they throw a ritualistic celebration to bind themselves, so that they do not have to face the world alone.”

“In general, yes.”

“And what of weddings? How does one go about them?”

Narinder thinks. He wanders his own mind, faint memories fluttering against his skull. His ear twitches at them, neither nostalgic nor sentimental for them currently.

“That is something I can’t explain in a way that would assist,” is what he eventually explains to the Lamb, his hand inching towards them as a show of sincerity. Two small, hoofed hands place themselves on a bony finger in reassurance, and the god continues. “As various are the means of marrying, the ceremonies they bring are much more vast. It might be more beneficial to ask your followers upon your resurrection what they would wish to see in their own celebration, as the only requirement for a wedding is for those that wish to be wed to exchange spoken promises they vow to keep, and to complete the ritual with an act of mutual osculation.”

The Lamb bows their head again, hands clasping in front of them in the form of a prayer. “I have gained beneficial knowledge that will benefit the followers I cultivate for us. I thank you.”

“Is that all you seek from me upon this request, Vessel?” Narinder asks, straightening back to his true height. “I require you to ask of me more, if you seek need for it.”

“I have no additional need for now,” the Lamb replies. “I am ready to return to my flock. I have a wedding I need to prepare for, and to avenge myself against the heretics.”

“You will do well, Lamb,” Narinder speaks, and with a gesture of his hand, their form dissolves. Unspeaking, Baal and Aym resume their positions in front of their master, tails twitching in show of their own thoughts.

Closing his third eye, Narinder watches through his crown as the Lamb returns to their flock. They immediately seek the two they had spoken of before—the sow, and the bear—and they appear to speak excitedly to the Lamb before they turn away. Through the crown, he can hear the Lamb speaking, listing out a myriad of things to themself as they walk to the summoning circle at the entrance of the settlement, and pass it to head to the Darkwood portal.

A wedding. The Lamb will be kept on their toes to plan and execute it, with such little supplies. The cult has only existed for a century, after all.

A small, hidden part of Narinder, nestled away inside a wounded chest, wishes that he could be able to walk the earth again to assist his vessel. 

Maybe some day, that part of him whispers. An unrealistic dream, he thinks angrily. For how could he, if the only way he’ll be released from his chains is if the Lamb can defeat his siblings, and then lay down their life for him? It’s a shame, that Narinder cannot foresee the future. It’s a shame that he doesn’t know, doesn’t suspect, that one day, he will.

Happy (LATE) Valentine's Day! Slaps you with lore for my au

[nevermindirah]

I have a hard to answer question how does one handle in a fanfic tog not going after shitler with Jewish!booker on the team without them coming off like assholes in regards to the human cost as well as the personal cost to booker, cause I'm drawing a blank

hi anon!

this is a super duper big large heavy question, and it's also one that might, depending on the context of your fic, have a very simple answer: the immortals are, other than their immortality, human, and therefore they can each only be in a single place at once.

they don't have superhuman strength or speed, they don't have magic, they don't have access to time-travel technology. I'm not an expert in ww2 military strategy but I'm sure allied governments looked into assassinating Hitler, and nobody managed to do it until the shitstain killed himself. the immortals are highly skilled and well-connected but not at the level of for example the agency that would go on to become the CIA, so who's to say they'd be successful in this assassination if they tried.

there's also the matter of when and for what reason the immortals might decide that killing this particular shitstain should go at the top of their to-do list. it's so easy for us to say in hindsight that a catastrophic volume of suffering could've been averted with this one person's death 10-15 years earlier than what happened in our timeline, but even with the strategic benefit of that hindsight, none of us can predict exactly what would've happened after a successful assassination in 1939, 1932, or even earlier. killing one leader doesn't ensure the movement he leads will stop with his death; someone even worse could have stepped in under the banner of a martyr.

things had gotten bad for Jews in a lot of places many times before things started getting real bad again in Germany. again, I'm not an expert, so I don't know when anyone outside of Nazi senior leadership knew anything about plans for the Holocaust — but would any of the immortals have learned about it sooner than international news media did? would they have known about it early enough that it was possible for a group of four immortals to stop? would they have believed such horrific plans if they'd seen them on paper? there's historical evidence that US officials didn't believe early reports could possibly be true.

there are photos on Copley's wall showing the immortals in Europe at several points during ww2 and there's that one panel from one of the comics of some of the boys being involved in liberating one of the camps. but we don't know details beyond that, and we don't know what the immortals were up to in the 1930s. they may have been very, very busy doing what they could to protect people from Japan's horrific war crimes of the same era, which started several years earlier than the Third Reich.

none of that is to say it would be easy for the immortals to know that the Holocaust was happening and not stop it. I'm sure it was devastating for all of them, who'd already seen so much needless painful death in their long lives, to see the ruthless mechanized efficiency of Nazi mass murder. it would be especially devastating for Booker, even without the Jewish Booker headcanon, bc his children died hating him bc he could not save them no matter how much they begged and no matter how hard he tried.

so my hope for the fic you're working on is that you'll show at least a little bit how their inability to stop these horrors weighs on the immortals. show the personal cost to Booker. do the others get why such horrors happening to his people, who are specifically being targeted because they are Jews, hurts him so badly? or does Andy make dark jokes about how God really must not exist or what did Booker do to piss him off.

does Andy make dark jokes like that bc she sees Quynh's face in every woman they rescue from the Japanese army's rape campaigns? it would have been just as impossible for the immortals alone to save every one of them as it would've been to stop the Holocaust. might their personal connections to victims thousands of miles apart in a war causing overwhelming suffering across most of the planet wear on the immortals' relationships with each other? they can only do but so much. how the hell do they choose which people to try to save?

now that I've thought about it, writing a fic where they do kill Hitler might actually be easier. you can just handwave the deeply frustrating logistical realities and make it so that conveniently killing the nightmare in charge happens to cause the whole house of nightmares to fall apart. (you can also handwave that in your new timeline non-Jews across Europe welcomed their Jewish neighbors home with open arms, when very often the opposite happened irl.)

this topic is so rich for all kinds of exploration in fic. you could end up with a long and plotty meditation on how painful it is for the immortals to have to choose between so many people who need their help. you might have only been asking for the sake of some references to this era of the past in a fic set during or after the movie where the historical timeline is set in stone, in which case I hope what I've shared here leads you to writing those passages with appropriate seriousness and care, even if it's ultimately a small part of a story mainly focused on other things.

this was hard to answer, but not intellectually, this kind of analysis is how my brain works. it just hurts my heart to think about how much my people have lost, how much pain so many people have suffered, and how much suffering is happening right now that there's so little I can do to stop. if I were immortal right now how the hell would I choose between Palestinians and Massalit people and Uyghurs and Rohingya and the multitude of Latin Americans suffering at the US border, all the Black Americans suffering systematically in US prisons, all the other people whose catastrophic suffering I don't even know about?

but I'm glad you asked bc this is such an under-considered element of TOG that's very worth the spotlight. I hope my thoughts here help you, and maybe others will see this and think about it as well.

[forcedtogrow]

Addressing Pre-T, Pre-transition Anons

I’m getting quite a few asks from pre-T guys about how much you can change your body pre-T, what exercises to do, how to fix body fat redistribution etc. and it has gotten to be a little too much so im making a blanket post regarding this topic. This post is MY VIEWS AND LIMITS. I am not trying to bully anyone, this is a kink blog for fun and I am not a teacher/doctor/counselor/therapist or parent. I am a fun big brother lmao.

1. There’s only so much you can change your body pre-T, and it’s totally dependent on your genetics and dedication to lifting/gaining muscle. Some guys are lucky and can easily pass without T by just working out, I wasn’t one of them but I’ve seen a handful of guys that did that before T. Even then, some of those guys needed T to get rid of an hourglass/pear shape.

2. You can’t spot lose body fat in hips/thighs/ass. You’d need to lose body fat everywhere, but pre-T your body is most likely to hold onto lower body fat because biology wants those fat reserves to make babies. It’s gross and dysphoria inducing but it’s true.

3. It’s worth it to work out pre-T, especially lifting, to create a solid base to work from. If you already have that you’ll grow so fast on T it’ll feel like magic. I won’t lie that it’s frustrating and awful, because I’ve been there and it feels like spinning the pedals on a bike without moving, but it does pay off.

4. Stay balanced with your diet and don’t force yourself into a crazy calorie deficit. It might not be the time to bulk if you feel like your body is reserving most energy as fat (could be your genetics or activity level), but maintaining a baseline that’s Not underweight is a good start.

5. I’m not in a place to tell you to bulk or cut, especially if I don’t know your height/weight/age/activity level. I am not a doctor or dietician and can only say what works for me and people I know.

6. Don’t just focus on one part of the body, do a full push/pull/legs routine at the very least. Like this: https://www.aston.ac.uk/sport/news/tips/fitness-exercise/push-pull-legs or this for a 6 day split: https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/6-day-powerbuilding-split-meal-plan

You need to build full body strength, and more leg muscle can actually masculinize your body and make your hips more boxy.

7. If you can’t transition medically/socially for whatever reason your main focus should be getting out of that situation. This is going to sound harsh but I know many trans people who risked a lot, some trans femme friends that literally risked their lives, and you have to decide what’s important to you. I’m being real because you will only regret waiting—there is no replacement for transition, there is no joy like transition, there is no pain great enough to negate the many many benefits of transition.

I don’t want to get messages like “what if it’s illegal where I live!” That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s sucks, but you either transition or you don’t, and if you don’t that’s up to you, but I cannot assist with that decision. I gave up a lot to transition and waited several years to start hrt for reasons too personal to disclose. I ruined relationships with family among other things, so please do NOT ask me for advice on this because I will not be coddling/sweet. Being a man is hard and messy and a sacrifice.

8. I will tell you what I eat and give general advice of bulking/eating but I will not make a meal plan for you. Every body has different needs that only you and a dietitian can work through, I’m not a licensed professional and don’t want anyone to take what I eat as the only way to eat.

9. If you cannot transition because you are a minor stay off my blog. Sorry!!

[mariacallous]

The far-right violence against foreigners in the United Kingdom these days strongly reminds me of a novel published in the 1980s: J.M. Coetzee’s Waiting for the Barbarians.

Coetzee, a South African novelist who won the Nobel Prize in literature in 2003, describes in this slim volume exactly why and how this kind of violence erupts: because communities have been drip-fed lies and racial prejudices for a long time, until they form an image of strangers—in this novel, the barbarian nomadic tribes—that has very little to do anymore with reality.

The central character in Waiting for the Barbarians, which Philip Glass turned into an opera in 2005, is a middle-aged magistrate who has been running a sleepy border settlement of an unnamed Empire for years. Nothing ever happens in the village or in neighboring towns and villages. Everyone knows everyone. The subjects of the Empire and the barbarians living on the other side of the border, which is totally porous, have bent the rules so that everyone can go about their business without bothering others. The barbarians come to the village for food and medicine and go home afterward.

The magistrate must implement the rules of the Empire but tries to do this in a human, benign-ish way. When there is an occasional cattle raid, for example, he has a serious talk with those who did it. He hardly ever takes prisoners, and when he does, they are fed, kept clean, and often released early: “All my life I have believed in civilized behaviour.” In his view, conflicts do not benefit anyone and should be avoided. All is certainly not perfect, but it keeps the peace. The communities live more or less quietly side by side.

Then, one day, a delegation from the Empire’s secret service (the “Third Bureau”), led by Colonel Joll, visits the village. Joll, an unbending bureaucrat, is convinced that the nomad tribes are secretly preparing an attack on the Empire. He leads an expedition in search of rebels and radicals and comes back to the settlement with many suspects in chains. They are terrified. Suddenly, the prison is full. The inmates are humiliated, starved, and tortured. The magistrate tries to stop this (“These are fishermen, not rebels!”), but Colonel Joll sidelines him and continues to torture the barbarians until all “confess.”

After the colonel’s departure, the magistrate feeds the prisoners and sends most of them home. One of them is a nomad girl. He tends to her wounds, washes her feet, and sleeps with her. Eventually, he brings her all the way back to her tribe. When he returns home after the long journey, Joll is back. He has the magistrate charged with treason—“consorting with the enemy”—and throws him in the same jail where the barbarians are kept.

No one comes to the magistrate’s rescue. Many villagers have become as hysterical as the colonel, and the rest are lying low. By now, every barbarian seems like a terrorist to them. Any behavior that was once normal has become suspect. Eventually, of course, the village just destroys itself—without a single barbarian going on the attack. The settlement is a ruin. Most people have left, including the colonel and his people. The magistrate stays: He has nowhere to go. As a bitter winter cold sets in, he feels stupid, “like a man who lost his way long ago but presses on along a road that may lead nowhere.”

Although the novel was published in 1980, it has stark relevance for our times. Coetzee, whose Empire of course depicted South Africa under apartheid, shows how easy it is for a few zealots to turn communities that have long managed to live in peace against one another. All they need to do is to plant false, scary rumors about a particular group; embed them in a larger narrative about sovereignty, nationhood, and security; and then start pumping that narrative around. If citizens are scared enough, they are willing to believe it all. As Hermann Göring, the architect of Adolf Hitler’s Nazi police state, said when he was asked how he got the German people to accept Nazism: “The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.”

With this grim novel, Coetzee issued a strong, principled condemnation of South Africa’s apartheid regime, then still in full swing. (He immigrated to Australia later, in 2002.) Its relevance for today’s “far-right thuggery” in the U.K., as Prime Minister Keith Starmer put it last weekend, is no less clear. When far-right politicians fan the flames of racial and religious hatred for years, amplified by social media and newspapers calling migrants and asylum-seekers criminals, at some point Muslim communities and mosques will be targeted, asylum centers will be set ablaze, and Nazi salutes will be seen on the street.

In a democracy, words have consequences. A democracy is a political system that must ensure different communities in society do not get at one another’s throats. All communities have different interests. Therefore, there is always some friction between them. Because society is always changing, the balance between the communities is always changing, too. Democracy is meant to help them find a new balance, all the time. This applies to all levels of governance: local, provincial, national, European. Politics, journalism, and other institutions have a role to play in this system—a clear responsibility. Incitement, provocations, the spread of fake news, and the demonization of one community because of skin color or religion mean that they reject that responsibility. These are forms of democratic sabotage.

Coetzee’s message, voiced through the magistrate, is not a happy one. “To the last we will have learned nothing. In all of us, deep down, there seems to be something granite and unteachable.” Still, the magistrate plows on—what else can he do? He may be far from perfect, but he is a good man.

In the words of Coetzee, the real danger in society “always comes from within.” The U.K. is lucky to have a prime minister who seems to understand this.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Playbook: How To Cultivate Self-Regard (In Every Area Of Life)

How to live with self-respect in every aspect of life. Here's your ultimate guide to living in your dark feminine energy.

Living with self-regard (or self-respect) means understanding that you cannot pour from an empty cup and the importance of making yourself your #1 priority. Feeling your best also has a domino effect. You become a better friend, boss, sibling, parent, child, lover, etc. when you feel comfortable with yourself and content in your own skin. Of course, some of these practices will apply to more than one area of life (ex. Sleep improves your physical and mental health and a good night’s rest can also be considered an act of self-care), but these principles/examples are divided up to streamline these tips. Enjoy xx 

Areas of Life: 

Career

Self-Care/Self-Development 

Finances

Physical Health 

Mental Health/Emotional Well-Being 

Sexual Health/Sexuality & Sensuality 

Relationships (All Types - Friends, Family, Work, Intimate) 

Career: 

Discover what you love: Find the subject matters, industries, and a way of adding value that lights you up inside. Take a job or get creative in your methodology to make this area of interest into your career.

Set clear goals: Do I want to work at a particular company? What position/title? Do I want to go out on my own – who are my dream clients, work volume, lifestyle, business structure, income? Write all these details down and strategize small, practical daily tasks/habits to reach your goal.

Build an indispensable skillset: Research, case-building, copywriting, strategic planning, computer programming, sales, data analytics, etc. Learn transferable skills to guarantee you'll always have something valuable to bring to the table in our ever-changing world/work culture. Start with one and accumulate more as you work towards self-mastery.

Know your worth: Negotiate – your salary, rates, workday structure, corporate benefits, PTO, etc. Never let someone have you begging for breadcrumbs or the bare minimum.

Speak up (when necessary): Communicate – clearly, directly, and assertively. Don't let someone walk all over you. Finish your sentences with certainty even if someone tries to interrupt you while you're speaking. Advocate for yourself, whether you're trying to secure a promotion, a new project, a proposed solution for a client, or taking a necessary break. Also, know when it's in your best interest to stay silent. Ensure your integrity remains intact. The truth of a matter speaks volumes.

Organize your day (Prioritize!): Set yourself up to win by outlining your priorities first before others' tasks and projects consume your mind and calendar. List your top 3 to-dos for the day that are non-negotiables for you and will inch you closer to your goals. I recommend the Productivity Planner for daily use.

Keep records: Have email records and call notes regarding every interaction and decision written down. This practice enables you to stand your ground when necessary and saves you a lot of trouble.

Set boundaries: Proudly affirm your 'no' to a project, any disrespectful comment, or too many nights of overtime work. Schedule and stick to your breaks and the time you clock out (within reason, of course). Never allow a company or endeavor to run you into the ground at the expense of your mental or physical health.

Make connections: Cultivating a network of mentors, colleagues, and peers in the same or adjacent fields is priceless. These connections can lead to new opportunities, provide a healthy and productive space to explore ideas, or generally vent and exchange advice. Strike up that conversation at lunch or an event. Follow up with a LinkedIn request or thoughtful email. You never know what this conversation might lead to and the opportunities it can bring.

Self-Care/Self-Development: 

Create daily/weekly rituals: Establish ones that add a little joy and streamline your day. These habits can range from a 10-minute yoga or meditation session every morning, to practicing morning pages or a daily shadow work prompt, reading 10 pages daily, getting your steps in, and planning your tasks, lunch, and outfit for the next day the night before to creating a weekly house-cleaning schedule or meal planning. Discover systems that allow you to put yourself first and set you up to win the day.

Find ways to feel beautiful: Create luscious skincare, shower, and hair/makeup/nail routines that make you feel like a queen. Invest in well-fitting, high-quality wardrobe staples. Make your favorite cup of coffee or tea daily. Keep your signature scent on hand. Exfoliate. Invest in matching pajama sets.

Indulge all of your senses: Light a candle. Put on a moody playlist to relax, focus, unwind, or turn you on – any melody that suits the occasion and gets you in the zone. Take a bubble bath or do a face mask. Relish in a warm beverage or a healthful, comforting meal. Use silk pillowcases, hair ties, and bed sheets. Pamper yourself with small everyday luxuries.

Expand your knowledge: Make it a priority to read a few articles and 10 pages of a book daily. Being educated on different topics and the world provides you with personal fulfillment and enables you to enter into a wider pool of conversations. This practice also strengthens your mind, sharpens focus, and helps your brain relax.

Explore your interests: Learn what subjects and activities light you up inside. Whether it's painting, dancing, tennis, spin classes, learning about ancient world history, politics, fashion, science, etc. Take time to study and practice in these areas of interest.

Embrace your creative side: Write, read, draw, create a mood board, explore Pinterest or Tumblr, style outfits, organize a section of your room, cook a new recipe, make a playlist – any fun activity that ignites creativity.

Plan dates for yourself: Take yourself out for coffee, lunch, a shopping date, or even a mini vacation. You deserve to enjoy experiences and derive pleasure from enjoying these life moments without worrying about anyone but yourself.

Remember to rest: Getting 7-8 hours of sleep nightly and taking breaks is essential for productivity and overall well-being. Never feel guilty for allowing your body and mind to recover. Neglecting rest only backfires if you're playing the long-term game.

Finances: 

Know your income/expense ratio: Ensure you know exactly how much money is coming in and going out every month. Create a personal balance sheet to audit your financial well-being.

Track everything: Keep a record of every stream of income and where every dollar is going – expenses, savings, estimated taxes, investments, charity, etc.

Have a set emergency fund: Between 3-12 months of expenses should be ready in a high-yield savings account at all times. If you have a family or are self-employed, aim for 6-12 months of necessary savings to stay sane. Saving this amount of money takes time. Be patient, and cut back on frivolous expenses if needed for the short term. It's an act of self-care.

Invest (especially in a Roth IRA or backdoor Roth IRA): Set one up through Vanguard or Fidelity ASAP if you have not already. Don't underestimate the importance of compound interest on your financial future and security.

Automatically pay yourself first: Automate a portion of your paycheck to savings and your investments, so you never see this money. Pay yourself first before spending (on anything but necessities).

Always max out your 401K employer-matching: Make sure you know what percentage your employer will match and always meet this investment requirement. Do yourself the favor. It's literally free money.

Only spend on your essentials & what you actually enjoy: Invest in pleasurable items and activities strategically. Only spend on additional experiences and products that add value to your life. Cut unfulfilling expenses.

Read about personal finance/speak with your brokerage firm: Take time to read about these topics and learn everything your parents didn't teach you or were not taught at school. Use licensed professionals (CPAs, brokerage firms, etc.) as a resource, too, for your personal goals.  

Use savings plug-ins/discount codes 

Physical Health: 

Cook/eat healthy meals: At least 80% of the time. Focus on eating whole foods and a (mainly) plant-based diet. I've been vegan for 10 years and it's done wonders for my body, skin, and mental clarity.

Drink plenty of water daily: Set a target of ounces = to your weight in pounds. Incorporate lemon, lime, orange wedges, or frozen berries if necessary to keep this habit interesting.

Find workouts you love: Whether that's low-impact like pilates, yoga, walking or dance classes, spin classes, weight-lifting, etc. The best exercise routine is the one you can gladly maintain.

Make daily movement a priority: At least 15-30 minutes daily. I aim for 10-12K steps at least 5 days a week.

Limit processed foods, alcohol, cigarettes 

Step outside: Get at least 10 minutes of sun daily, weather permitting. Always wear sunscreen.

Sleep Well: Aim for 7-8 hours (Create a sleep hygiene routine!)

Maintain proper hygiene: Shower daily, moisturize, wash your hair on your necessary schedule, brush your body from head to toe, etc.

Do pelvic floor exercises: It does wonders for your bladder and helps to satisfy your libidinal energy.

Go to your annual appointments: Primary doctor/Obgyn/Dentist/Dermatologist

Mental Health/Emotional Well-Being: 

Meditate: Some of my favorite ones are linked HERE (for anxiety), HERE, (focus/productivity), and HERE (feminine/sexual energy).

Journal: Do a daily shadow work prompt, gratitude journal exercise, or practice morning pages (stream of consciousness journaling for 3 pages every morning).

Read: 10 pages of a self-development/psychology book, at least 3-5 articles, or a chapter of a fiction or non-fiction book. Daily.

Take breaks: A 10-minute walk, a real lunch break, listening to music, making coffee. Something pleasurable to recenter your focus and energy.

Discover movement you love: Walking and dancing are your best friends.

Keep your space clean: Wipe off all surfaces and put things away daily. Keep your desk organized. Clean and put away the dishes before bed. Stick to a house cleaning schedule.

Make to-do/bullet-point lists: For every area of life – work, chores, groceries, other items you need, wishlists, activities, and hobbies you want to pursue

Schedule and plan out your week: House cleaning, laundry, work project management, email time blocking, appointments, beauty routines, workouts, etc.

Create non-negotiables: Sleep, daily walks, a healthy dinner, your skincare routine, a 15-minute shower – whatever must-do rituals you need to look and feel your best every day.

Connect with your inner circle: Make a deliberate effort to stay in touch and catch up with those who are loyal and have your best interest at heart. Make time to chat on the phone, send a text, or better yet –get coffee, lunch, drinks, or dinner weekly with at least one person who you know makes your life richer in some type of way.

Put restrictions on social media/screen time: Use your settings to limit your time on certain apps (Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok, Facebook, etc.). I set mine for 2 hours a day. Stop checking email right before bed and first thing in the morning (at least try really hard not to –I'm so guilty of this one!).

Give freely: Be generous with those who you love, mentors, and mentees. Everyone appreciates when you put a little effort into giving someone a small thoughtful gift, doing a kind gesture, or lending an ear. It makes you feel good and can make someone's day, week, month, or year.

Set boundaries: Take time for yourself – to recharge, indulge in solo activities, have some fresh air, breathe, or sit in silence. Give freely with no expectations, but never overextend yourself. When seeking to know whether you're striking the right balance between giving and gatekeeping your energy ask yourself: Am I being kind, or do I feel like I'm losing a piece of myself when engaging with this person/attending this event? Be honest with yourself. Listen to and follow your initial gut reaction.

Go to therapy: If you can afford it, weekly (or bi-weekly, monthly) sessions are a game-changer for self-discovery, emotional regulation, and general happiness/life fulfillment.

Sexual Health/Sexuality & Sensuality:

Let go of shame: Internalize your right to pleasure. Claim ownership over this aspect of your life. It gives you confidence in and outside of the bedroom, so you move through the world with a magnetic aura and powerfully feminine energy.

Own your sexuality and preferences: Embrace who and what you're attracted to. This principle extends from your sexual orientation to your libido, turn-ons (fantasies, adult content, steamy memories, etc.), preferred positions, kinks, and devices. Sexuality and arousal are so personal. Allow yourself to be free of stigmas for the things you do in private. No one needs to know how you derive pleasure behind closed doors (unless it's a partner who's involved, of course).

Make time for self-pleasure and exploration (at least weekly): Understanding that you're in control of your own pleasure is empowering. Learning what you like is essential for sexual gratification – whether you're alone or sharing the experience with a partner.

Allow the mind-body connection to be your friend, not your enemy: Sex starts in the mind, so this point is important for climaxing. Get out of your head and into your body. Learning to enjoy your own body is a sign of self-respect.

Keep everything clean & hygienic: Only wash inside with water (no steaming!), clean any toys, and use protection. Safety and self-regard go hand-in-hand.

Find products & habits that make you feel beautiful: Invest in lingerie, sheets, perfume, body lotions, candles, wine, etc. that make you feel confident while in the mood.

Engage in playful & creative activities: Don't be shy about (safe and consensual) experimentation (I'll leave this to your imagination) and activities to build up tension, like a romantic dinner or a dancing session beforehand to make this area of your life more exciting and fulfilling.

Relationships: 

Communicate expectations: Clearly and often with any individual in your life. Listen and respond. Don't react. Validate emotions when necessary. If someone cannot do the same, understand that it's almost always a sign of projection. Remain calm and confident in yourself. Always command and show up to others with the highest level of respect.

Have empathy, but not at your own expense: Live with respect and consideration for others, but remember your life is for YOU. Beware of guilt-trippers. Don't take the bait.

Set boundaries: Uphold them unapologetically. Seek to understand others' needs and boundaries, so you can be considerate of their needs too. Empathy and kindness come from a place of self-respect. They are not the same people-pleasing.

Be generous (but don’t overextend yourself): See above in the mental health section.

Be true to yourself: Authenticity is essential to personal fulfillment. Live in your uniqueness. Remember: trying to be someone else doesn't work, she's already taken. You have so much value to offer this world. Let your queen energy shine through. Live your truth. Remain self-assured. Be unapologetically you.

[ninadove]

fav french media? (films, books, shows, games etc)

OH I LOVE THIS QUESTION THANK YOU SO MUCH 💖

I’m sure I’ll forget a lot of things and smack my own forehead in shame afterwards, but this is what comes to mind right away:

Literature:

Anything ever written by Victor Hugo is a masterpiece. This dude was a terrible human being, but he sure knew how to write, and he contributed to major changes in the social conscience of his contemporaries on many important topics (including but not limited to the death penalty and child labour). To give you a taste, here is my favourite poem ever, which he wrote, because of course he did.

My favourite piece of literature across all categories, though, is and forever will be Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand — the story of a man who convinced himself his unusually long nose makes him monstruous. The concept sounds so silly, I know, but this play is a masterpiece and a wonderful love letter to the French language.

Which brings me to my favourite comic series: De Cape et de Crocs by Alain Ayroles and Jean-Luc Masbou! Basically a twelve-volume-long fix-it fic, disguised as a tribute to French literature. Also, a beautiful bromance.

Visual arts:

Basically everyone in France can quote at least one line from Kaamelott, a comedic (?) series derived from the Arthurian legend. It is so well researched and hilarious — until it isn’t.

I’m sure there’s like, a very obvious movie choice that will come back to me in a minute, but I was raised on Disney and Scooby-Doo, so these are clogging my brain at the moment. Just give it time.

When I was very young, I would watch TV at my grandparents’ and enjoy Les Hydronautes, an animated series about an extraterrestrial explorer documenting the Earth’s marine wildlife in an effort to learn how to better protect her own planet (Aka There Are Many Benefits To Being A Marine Biologist: The Series), as well as C’est pas sorcier, a series of very fun documentaries on a plethora of subjects, from lavender farming to volcanic eruptions.

Obviously, Miraculous gets a place on the list too! 🐞🐈‍⬛

EDIT BECAUSE I FORGOT: Fantomette the animated series! This show is single-handedly responsible for my taste for smart women with amazing hair who ride motorbikes and kick ass. It even had Egytpology as a key part of the plot.

Music:

For me Formidable by Charles Aznavour is a classic, a very cute song, and a great place to start if you want to learn French!

A few other favourites include Fanny Ardant et moi by Vincent Delerm, Le Dîner by Bénabar (extremely funny to listen to while thinking about the Diamonds’ Dance) and J’ai cherché by Amir (This one is… Borderline when it comes to grammar, but cute enough that I grin and bear it. Also, it got us an honourable ranking at the Eurovision a while back, which is rare enough to be celebrated).

ALSO. I complain too much about bad translations and poor writing (see previous bullet point) not to show you kids how it’s done with Je vole from Aladdin (a genius play on words which delves into the two significations of the verb “voler”: to fly or to steal).

Video games:

Long ago, before I discovered the wonderful world of Nintendo, I would wait patiently every month for the new issue of Toboclic. This game had everything: cute animal mascots, stories, mini-games, arts-and-crafts suggestions, catchy songs, interactive documentaries… I’m sure my parents still have the CDs somewhere, but they probably don’t run anymore, which is a shame. I miss my friends.

Thank you so much for the ask, this was so fun to write!

@dragongutsixofficial please do this too so we can compare notes! 👀💖

[therealvinelle]

wait tell us more about the deleted fic where the professor who is more competent than Tom (and capable of breaking the curse) gets fired bc Dumbledore hates him

Asker is referring to me mentioning a deleted fic I cowrote with @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin.

It was one of those failed ventures that had a great many wonderful things in it, but it ultimately wasn't... good. We chose to scrap the project, and the things we liked in it have been recycled in other fics, with that one big exception of the DADA teacher storyline.

To get ahead of follow-up questions:

Mine and the Muffin's approach to writing is to always outline first. We start with the premise, and let the idea play out in a bullet pointed play-by-play synopsis. This way we know where we're headed when we write, and even if we end up completely disregarding said outline we have the benefit of having thought things through. We sometimes do outlines for chapters, and while writing a fic we will frequently write new outlines as we write (first outline described the path from A-F, we get to C then write C-H, if that's at all illuminating - marking out the path as we go).

The whole point of this is having thought the fic's progression through before writing. It has helped us make important decisions regarding the plot, as an optional path wouldn't actually go the places we want it to. More importantly, it has sometimes revealed to us that a fic that was in the planning stage should never be allowed to get further. (This was actually the case with a recent Rank Heresy writing competition, as we confidently set about to outlining our idea only to realize that it wasn't... good...)

The big scrapped fic stands out in that this process failed us, we outlined up until a point and set about writing, getting several chapters in before having a sudden "Wait a minute, where is this going?" moment that led to a "How can we salvage this?" crisis mode that turned into the horrible realization the fic as a whole could not be saved as the idea itself was bad.

Absolutely tragic, but very educational and has led us to asking far more critical questions ahead of writing (such as "Can we actually write this?", "Do we want to write this?", or "Is this something we've already written, or that could be incorporated into an already existing fic instead?") rather than just plunging in.

The volume of Twilight fics, many of whom wound up extremely similar and treading parallel ground, is also a lesson in that we learned to think very carefully before launching a new one. Is this an original idea, or did we just repeat a previously written fic?

Thanks to the outline, and seeing a suggestion to how the fic would play out, we've been able to say early on and before actually writing anything that "Yes, this is just (insert fic name) with (insert small tweak). YIKES" and scrap the idea.

So with that, know that the deleted fic was scrapped with good reason but that the best parts of it live on in fics that are available on our Ao3s.

[invested-in-your-future]

I have curious to know more about that:

In your version what would Jaune fallout would be?

Would he be an outcast or a you suck speech to be better?

How would the team dynamic be especially after the situation?

If I were to alter stuff in V1-V3, the bully arc would need some significant changes - far too many things in a show are built around excusing him rather than making him confront his flaws.

I think I said most of these before, but if I were to put it into a list.

Starting with the Bully Arc:

DON'T have Pyrrha help Jaune save Cardin and actually show that while his mindset is toxic, Jaune has the conviction to risk it all when pushed - of course, since Pyrrha wouldn't help him there, Jaune would actually get hurt, making the confrontation a bit messier even if the outcome is the same. And Cardin seeing someone like him put his life on the line to save him would likely sting a lot more.

DON'T do the weird "Ursa Grimm like honey" at all - the show has literal bullies prey on people in the forest, and Grimm are attracted to negative emotions - this means we don't get the "harrowing" scene of Jaune throwing honey at people and the whole plot is a bit less silly - and that means Jaune is NOT here because of blackmail or anything - having Jaune risk his life to save Cardin despite him being a bully is good enough as it highlights the qualities needed for being a Huntsmen and there must be no possible upsides to Jaune doing this - Pyrrha won't change her opinion and she is not involved in the fight - there's no benefit for him doing it other than it being his calling.

DO make Pyrrha genuinely angry with Jaune and have Jaune actually openly apologize to her after the Cardin incident and come clean to her.

DO have Cardin threaten to blackmail Jaune, but resolve it with Jaune coming clean to his team first (ALL of them) and then resolving to come clean to Ozpin and co.

DO have Ozpin shrug it off, either when Jaune comes clean or when Cardin decides to rat him out because, to him, the forest events would be all the proof he needed that Jaune has "needed qualifications" - can even throw in some shady Ozpin stuff and imply the teams are the way they are for a reason too.

DON'T have just Jaune and Pyrrha train. DO have the entire team JNPR decide to work spar together and train together to help him and make him regain their trust by putting in actual work to earn his spot.

There's no instant forgiveness or reassuring Jaune that he's great actually - everyone involved agrees that it's a work in progress, but his willingness to come clean and work to be a better person is a good first step. Team building.

Oh look we just got done with Jaune Arc arc of V1 in, like, two episodes instead of four or five.

V2 stuff

Just erase the "trying to woo Weiss" arc for Jaune Arc. Completely. Have the feud be about Cardin shifting targets and fighting Pyrrha in that sparring match and Jaune being unable to stay in his lane when she handled them just fine herself.

Drop the "I can't dance part" from Neptune. How about Neptune, despite his womanizer façade, actually likes guys but thinks it would make him seem uncool if he asked a guy out to a dance. Here, you have an actual LGBT rep two volumes in without "having to build up a relationship", and it ties nicely into the theme of dealing with toxic masculinity and how it affects different people. And we avoid a scene where two guys treat Weiss like an object they own.

It overall also ties better into the cross-dressing segment because it now becomes Jaune basically going - "Look, I learned my lesson, and I am comfortable without stereotypical macho nonsense" to Pyrrha. And it's a message to Neptune that there's nothing "silly" about not adhering to heteronormative "coolness" - oh look, suddenly there's no need for a laugh track of everyone pointing out that a guy in a dress is oh-so-funny in this diverse and accepting world of Remnant. EDIT: also yes monty intended ot to be about him keeping promises but that still works - Jaune regressing at the start by whiteknighting is him faltering on the promise he made to the team on v1 arc of this version - so the message of him reaffirming his promises still remains.

That's just off the top of my head in what could make him more bearable without sweeping his flaws or his forgery under the rug.

There are PLENTY minuscule things to change that would expand upon his characterization in a way that doesn't detract from the actual protagonists.

BUT

Since I am keeping the first three volumes as-is instead, I am treating the Fall of Beacon as Jaune's wake-up call for self-reflection.

Jaune had quite a bit of time to rethink everything that happened in Beacon - what he did or didn't do, what he said, and his overall priorities in life.

Coming face to face with how insignificant he ended up being ironically had provided him with a sense of clarity - everything falling apart allowed him to look at it all from a different angle.

He did not like the person he used to be, and that's where V4r starts - Jaune views his staying at Beacon due to forgery as a debt Jaune can never repay, and he strives to be a better person - actually worthy of that chance. He also understands just how privileged and stupid his behavior during Beacon was.

He has newfound respect for Pyrrha for having put up with him all this time. He also is regretful over how his antics had prevented them from actually exploring what could have been between them till it was way too late.

There's no melting her weapons for himself, no hero's journey for him. After the tragedies that hit Beacon Jaune ended up with a more clearcut understanding of who he wants to be and how he wants to honor Pyrrha's memory, in turn having processed grief in a bit more healthier way than the others.

[mel-1n-hell]

Safe Foods + Diet Foods Masterpost

(I live in the Midwest)

This is a list of a bunch of my personal favorite foods and ingredients to utilize when I’m heavily restricting. I usually love making the highest volume possible out of the lowest cals, but I also sometimes eat smaller amounts of higher calorie/denser foods if I’m, say, wearing something tight or whatever and don’t want to be water bloated. I believe in the importance of being at least mildly sated, and also in the importance of multivitamins+supplements! If you’re restricting, there is a 100% guarantee you are not getting enough vitamins to maintain external functions you really don’t want to start failing on you. I lost a lot of hair when I dropped a fuck ton of weight for the first time because I was 14 at my worst and didn’t understand anything/didn’t care at all about body chemistry, but after I was forced to recover, after my hair began growing back and thickening up, it became very important to me—as did many other aspects of my body that are influenced+enhanced by the ingestion of vitamin supplement (also hair oils like rosemary and castor and almond, leave-in conditioners, good conditioner in general // all of these things will support hair health and maintenance, specifically!) So take your vitamins! Especially capsules, because gummy vitamins are easier for your body to flush out. Plus, a lot of them are just placebos dyed a fun color and rolled in sugar. (The “Now” brand offers very high quality supplements and multivitamins in capsules/pill form)

Also, now that I’m an adult and can buy my own groceries, I have much more access to helpful tools that I wouldn’t have been able to access at 14 or wouldn’t have known enough about to even bother figuring out more. I’m much more educated now and feel almost as if restricting is too easy, too fun. Will it become a problem? Maybe. But until then, and as long as I know we’re all bent on our own destruction anyway, I’ll share what I know, because I wish I would have known about some of these things the first time I decided to dive headlong into the pits of despair (‘:

I can share my favorite combos/meals in another post if anyone would like to see it! First, though, a few general rules I follow, as a sort of context to the masterpost:

1. Caloric intake matters first and foremost. It’s just the simplest way for me to track what I’m eating. (Now don’t do this, but) You could be eating the shittiest, sugariest, most processed diet on the planet but if you’re in a caloric deficit, you’re still going to lose weight.

2. All vegetables are safe. A vegetable is not out here making anyone fat or unhealthy. Certain vegetables, like potatoes, are denser in calories, so it’s just a matter of learning how to use them, but if that scares or triggers you, stay away! For me, I always try to maintain that plants are nothing to be afraid of. I’m neurotic enough without being afraid of the food that literally comes from the earth.

3. All fruits are safe. Moderation is more important to keep in mind when it comes to fruits versus vegetables, because fruit contains more sugar, which means more calories overall. But fruits are my favorite additions to breakfasts, or as sides/snacks later on in the day. It’s a little extra something to crunch/chew on, and all fruit is just so yummy.

4. There’s nothing wrong with a chocolate fix!!! Dark chocolate (the higher the percentage, the better!) has numerous health benefits because it contains a plethora of antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals. It can be high calorie, so enjoy it in moderation, but there is absolutely nothing I love more than taking my time on a lux little square of dark chocolate while I’m reading a book.

5. No eating after 10pm. (I know most people choose an earlier time, but I’m a college student in a stem field who walks from her apartment to campus, so I get home later than traditional dinner time most nights.)

6. No eating before 7am. (8am is preferable.)

7. Eliminate as many sugary, processed carbs as possible. They aren’t really satisfying your body, and consuming these kinds of foods while restricting often leads to uncontrollable bingeing.

8. Eliminate fried foods (unless you figure out an air frier for a cheat night or something).

9. If you’re going to focus on any macros/micros, focus on protein and fiber! Protein is greater sustenance; fiber makes you shit.

10. If you binge, you binge. It happens. It comes with the territory of ED’s. Your body is literally pre-programmed to react this way to starvation because it’s a self-defense mechanism, and for many people, it’s an emotional defense mechanism. Just make your best mental and physical effort to minimize damage. Screwing yourself into the ceiling and just eating more will make you feel cosmically worse. Try to catch yourself before saying “fuck it” and continuing to binge harder, because even you know you don’t really mean that, and you know you’ll hate yourself to the moon for it later. Take a deep breath, name a few of the five senses to ground yourself or whatever, and then walk away. Listen to some music. Chew some gum or start sipping on lemon water. And remember: one pound is 3,500 calories. You would have had to eat that much on top of your basal metabolic rate (how many calories your body burns just existing) to gain just one pound. Water retention can be flushed. Fat cannot be.

11. Drink at least two quarts of water a day.

12. Take your fucking vitamins. xoxo

Okay! Now that I’ve rambled enough, here’s the masterpost (:

🥗 vegetables 🥗

1 cup broccoli, chopped (31 cals)

9-10 baby carrots (30 cals)

2 stalks celery (15 cals)

5 garlic cloves (20 cals) / (great roasted in the oven or as a flavor edition! stuff also makes you shit like crazy depending on how much you eat)

1 cup kale (16 cals)

1 cup spinach (7 cals)

1 cup baby spring mix (7 cals)

1 cup cauliflower, chopped (27 cals)

1 medium/small white or red onion (41 cals)

5 mini yellow/Dino egg potatoes (110 cals)

1 medium/small sweet potato (110 cals)

5 asparagus spears (15 cals)

5 medium white or baby bella mushrooms (20 cals)

1/2 cup sliced water chestnuts (45 cals)

🍑 fruits 🍑

6 mini sweet peppers (60 cals)

1 medium green bell pepper (24 cals)

1 medium red/orange/yellow bell pepper (37 cals)

1/4 avocado (75 cals)

1 medium tomato (22 cals)

1 medium banana (100 cals)

1 medium apple (100 cals)

1 medium grapefruit (104 cals)

1 large orange (87 cals)

1 clementine orange (35 cals)

5 medium strawberries (25 cals)

1 cup blueberries, frozen or fresh (80 cals)

10 raspberries (10 cals)

10 grapes (20-30 cals, depending on size + size variation; one small/medium grape is usually around 2 calories)

1 kiwi (40 cals)

1 cup red cherries, frozen or fresh (80 cals)

1 small champagne mango (80 cals)

1 cup honeydew melon, diced (61 cals)

1 cup watermelon, diced (46 cals)

1 cup pineapple, diced (82 cals)

1 medium cantaloupe (186 cals)

2 medium medjool dates, pitted (110 cals)

🍞 grains 🍞

1/3 cup flour, wheat or white (152 cals // for use in mug cakes, personal pancakes, personal cookies, etc.)

2 slices Healthy Life wheat, honey wheat, or white bread (70 cals)

1 Country Hearth light bun (80 cals)

1 mini bagel (100-125 cals, depending on flavor+brand)

1 bagel thin (110 cals)

1/3 cup rolled or quick oats, dry (100 cals)

1 cup plain Cheerios (100 cals // 140 cals for honey nut)

1/2 cup rice, brown or white (108 cals, brown; 102 cals, white)

1 “Ole” X-Treme Wellness wrap, tomato basil, spinach, or traditional (50 cals)

🍗 meats 🍗

3 oz (about the size of your palm) boneless, skinless chicken breast, cooked (120 cals)

5 medium chicken fajita strips, frozen (110 cals)

2.5 Simple Truth Organic homestyle chicken tenders (170 cals)

1/2 can Good & Gather chunk chicken, canned in water (50 cals)

1 can Chunk Lite Tuna (90 cals)

11 medium Member’s Mark cooked shrimp (60 cals)

1 tilapia fillet (112 cals)

4-6 pieces thin-sliced deli ham or roast beef (60-70 cals, depending on brand)

4-6 pieces thin-sliced deli chicken or turkey (50-60 cals, depending on brand)

🧀 dairy / imitation dairy and animal products 🧀

1 medium egg (66 cals // 78 cals for large)

1 tbsp I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, light buttery spread (35 cals)

1 tbsp Blue Bonnet, light buttery spread (40 cals)

1 tbsp Blue Bonnet, buttery stick (60 cals)

1 slice Kroger fat-free American cheese slices (30 cals)

1 stick Sargento Light mozzarella string cheese (45 cals)

1/4 cup shredded fat-free mozzarella cheese (45 cals)

1 slice Sargento Ultra Thin cheese, Swiss, provolone, pepper-Jack, sharp cheddar, or Colby-Jack (40-45 cals)

1 cup unsweetened almond milk, vanilla or original (30 cals)

1 cup Silk unsweetened cashew milk, vanilla or original (25 cals)

1 cup Silk unsweetened coconut milk (40 cals)

1 cup Almond Breeze unsweetened chocolate almond milk (40 cals)

2 tbsp sugar-free International Delight or Kroger coffee creamer (30-40 cals, depending on flavor and flavor’s brand)

1 Kroger Carbmaster Yogurt, any flavor (60-80 cals, depending)

1/2 pint Favorite Day low calorie protein ice cream, Mint Cookies n’ Cream (180 cals)

1/2 pint Favorite Day low calorie protein ice cream, Cookie Dough or Mocha Coldbrew Coffee (185 cals)

1/2 pint Favorite Day low calorie protein ice cream, Chocolate Peanut Butter or Mini Donut (190 cals)

1/2 pint Favorite Day low calorie protein ice cream, Caramel Maple Bourbon Pecan Pie (205 cals)

additional: any protein ice cream brand is a great dessert choice and so unironically delicious! I just listed Target’s because it’s cheapest, cost-wise, but Halo Top, Frozen Farmer, Enlightened, etc. -- they all market low calorie ice creams for anywhere between 270-470 cals per pint, depending on which flavor and brand.

🍚💰 god-send diet foods 💰🍚

1 bag shirataki noodles (20 cals)

1 cup shirataki konjac rice (30 cals)

1 pint Frozen Farmer sorbet, peach, strawberry, honeydew, watermelon, or mango (70 cals)

1 pint Frozen Farmer sorbet, strawberry lemonade (80 cals)

1 pint Frozen Farmer sorbet, raspberry (90 cals)

Walden Farms syrups, chocolate, caramel, pancake, maple walnut, strawberry, blueberry, etc . (0 cals)

Walden Farms dressings and sauces, Ranch, Buffalo Ranch, Caesar, Thousand Island, Chipotle Ranch, Bacon Ranch, Creamy Bacon, Italian, French, Honey Dijon, Balsamic Vinaigrette, Spicy Buffalo Vinaigrette, Super Fruits Balsamic Vinaigrette, Raspberry Vinaigrette, etc. etc. etc. (0 cals; there are literally endless flavors and all of them are zero calories. No joke. Look it up, order some on Amazon, Kroger and Walmart carry the most popular flavors)

Walden Farms coffee creamers, vanilla, mocha, peppermint, caramel, hazelnut, etc. etc. (0 cals; these might need to be ordered on their website or on Amazon)

Diet Soda, any flavor or brand (0 cals, obv)

2 tbsp Great Value peanut butter powder (50 cals // PB Fit = 60 cals per 2 tbsp)

Stevia or erythritol sweeteners (0 cals)

PICKLES!!!!!!!! (0 cals)

🥨 munchies 🥨

1 cup SmartFood white cheddar popcorn (70 cals // moderation)

1 cup Skinny Pop popcorn (39 cals // moderation)

18 mini twists, Rold Gold fat-free pretzels (110 cals // moderation)

23 twists, Clancy’s Everything-Pretzel Slims (110 cals // moderation)

3 Twizzlers (100 cals // moderation)

2 Zachary’s Thin Mints, mini dark chocolate peppermint patties (65 cals // moderation)

1 Brach’s Candy Cane (50 cals)

2 Hot Cocoa Kisses (36 cals)

2 Cherry Cordial Kisses (40 cals)

1 square 85% Lindt dark chocolate (58 cals // moderation)

1 X-Treme Wellness wrap, cut into 8 slices and salted+baked into tortilla chips, with 1/4 cup salsa (75 cals) or 2 tbsp Good & Gather queso blanco dip / Tostitos salsa con queso dip (90 cals // moderation)

1 slice Healthy Life bread, toasted and with 2 tsp I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! buttery spread, garlic+onion powder, and some salt (60 cals) OR toasted and with 1 slice Kroger fat-free American cheese, melted (65 cals)

1/2 medium banana or apple with 1 tbsp PB Fit powder + 2 tbsp Walden Farm’s pancake syrup for PB drizzle (80 cals // other sugar-free syrups add 5-15 cals, ex. Maple Grove [5], Log Cabin [10], Kroger brand [15], etc.)

2 slices deli rotisserie chicken / turkey, thin-sliced, spread w 1 tbsp Kroger fat-free cream cheese, rolled around 1 baby dill pickle (40 cals // without cream cheese, 25 cals // don’t knock it till u try it😒😒unless u just don’t like pickles lol)

10 strawberries and Walden Farm’s chocolate syrup (50 cals)

1 sugar-free Jell-O cup (10 cals)

1 sugar-free pudding cup (60 cals)

🧂🥫 other sauces / dips / condiments / ingredients 🥫🧂

Mustard, yellow, Dijon, or spicy brown (5-10 cals per tsp, depending on brand)

Miracle Whip Lite (20 cals per tbsp)

Stubb’s Sugar-Free Smokehouse BBQ sauce (10 cals per 2 tbsp)

Prego Marinara No Sugar Added (60 cals per 1/2 cup)

Chi-Chi’s Salsa (40 cals per 1/2 cup)

Tostitos Salsa Con Queso dip (40 cals per 2 tbsp)

Good & Gather Queso Blanco dip (40 cals per 2 tbsp)

Any sugar-free or fat-free dressing!! Just check labels.

Maple Grove sugar-free maple syrup (5 cals per 2 tbsp)

Cocoa powder (10-20 cals per tbsp, depending on brand and purity of cocoa)

Dark spices are said to speed up the metabolism, and they also allow your brain and stomach to feel more sated after eating, so use lots of seasonings! Plus, flavor :P (chili powder, paprika, cayenne, red pepper flakes, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, cloves, etc.)

I hope you all found this post to be useful in some way, or maybe inspiring or motivating! If anyone has anything they’d like to add, don’t hesitate to reblog with your own list of favs. I plan on adding to this if I find anything new or remember something I might’ve glossed over when writing it.

That’s all for now. Stay hydrated and take your vitamins angels❣️

[hiveworks]

Hiveworks Interview with Clover, author of Go Get A Roomie! and Little Tiny Things

June 2023

Go Get A Roomie! is a queer found-family slice-of-life comic that began in 2010, featuring Roomie and her friends as they work through their internal and interpersonal struggles, as well as journeys of self discovery.

This month, Hiveworks is hosting a crowdfunding campaign to print the fourth and final volume of beloved webcomic Go Get A Roomie! by Clover.

We asked author Clover to talk about their experiences with GGAR, webcomics, and staying creative.

As the creator behind several comic series, what drew you to the webcomic medium?

I first found out that webcomics existed around 2008 and had a few favorites I followed regularly. Being into drawing comics myself, the thought of doing a webcomic creeped into mind slowly but surely. I loved how accessible webcomics were, how easy it seemed to be to start one, how certain webcomic communities were. So I started one :)

Go Get A Roomie! started in 2010. The world has changed a lot since then! What was it like to post queer content online then and now?

There are way more queer webcomics now than before! Go Get a Roomie! probably partly owes its success to the fact that there weren't too many queer ongoing webcomics back then.

Readers demanded more queer content, more specific to their needs. Now there's more choice. If you don't like a queer webcomic, you can find another one without any hassle!

How has the landscape of posting webcomics online generally changed for you? Has your audience changed?

Posting for three different webcomics means discovering what it's like to have a different audience for each, though some webcomics are similar enough that the audience remains largely the same. Generally though, I've had very positive experiences with most of my audience! They've been caring, and understanding enough that I've never felt rushed, or judged for taking time off when needed.

Go Get A Roomie! has concluded and you're now onto your newest slice-of-life work, Little Tiny Things, which updates Tuesdays and Thursdays. How do you stay motivated with posting your comics regularly?

I do it because I love doing it! Not that it's always easy to maintain the same schedule, but I like knowing that the story advances at a "fast" enough pace. I want readers to discover more of what I want to show them!

In addition to LTT and GGAR, you are also the creator of Headless Bliss, a surreal comic that bends towards horror. It's very different from your slice-of-life work. How does Headless Bliss fit into your creative process and identity as an artist?

Go Get a Roomie! had a few surreal elements when a character dreamed, or told stories, and I had a lot of fun with those moments because it was so different from the slice-of-life, 4-paneled, jokes I wrote for GGAR. It meant I could explore more, narration-wise and tool-wise. But it wasn't enough, I had ideas for another story that was way more psychedelic, because I've always loved those kinds of stories too (comics like Sandman have inspired me a lot), and so Headless Bliss was born. I loved having two comics of two different vibes to jump from one to the other.

Go Get A Roomie! has been successfully crowdfunded into three books, with the fourth and final volume currently underway. What do you think are the benefits of transforming webcomics to print? What are the challenges?

Webcomics online are neat because they're accessible for so many people, for free! But having them on print means more people can enjoy them, and I'm one of those who prefer reading on print than on screen. Crowdfundings are a great way to make a little more money from your hard work, but they're also a challenge because of all the extra work that needs to be done! Preparing the book, the rewards, sure, but also managing everything else surrounding the printing and the shipping of the materials promised, and on time too! Thankfully, having Hiveworks as a partner in crime means being able to share some of all that work, it's an immense help!

Outside of comics, what do you do to refuel your inspiration?

I try to not work too much! Give myself time to do something else, to go outside, breathe a little, you know? All that is told within stories has to come from somewhere, and that somewhere is you living things.

Any advice for comic artists who find themselves stuck in a rut?

Take a break and try not to feel too guilty about it. It's okay not to be at your best all the time!

What is something you're looking forward to?

Right at this moment, settling down in my new home, to be able to work once more on comics in a nice and welcoming environment. Once that's done, I'd like to try out the more "traditional" path to publishing and start a new comic for a publishing house! While still continuing webcomics because I love doing it :)

Go Get A Roomie! Book 4 crowdfunding campaign is hosted by Hiveworks. The campaign concludes June 16, 2023, at 12pm ET.

[anneapocalypse]

Too Many Thoughts About Sera: A Love Letter

This post was originally part of a big long write-up I did after my first complete playthrough of Inquisition a few years ago and posted on dreamwidth and later here. It has been slightly edited to stand on its own here, but it's mostly the same. I thought it might be worth it post it as a standalone, so here is a slightly less analytical and more feelingsy post about Why I Love Sera So Much.

I understand not everyone likes Sera and that's completely okay but I am going to request that you refrain from outright dumping on her or making personal attacks on her writer on this post.

If you're interested in my more recent efforts at an in-depth analysis of Sera's character and background, you can check out my Sera Series.

Knowing my affinity for difficult, complicated, "unlikable" female characters, I was probably doomed from the start. But the truth is I did not go into this knowing I would love Sera. I just wanted to get to know her, regardless of how I ended up feeling about her. So I romanced her with my mage Trevelyan, the first Inquisitor I actually finished.

And at the end of that journey... yeah, I love Sera. I love her a lot.

So let's talk about Sera. As a character, as a companion, and as a love interest, because in this playthrough I got to experience her as all three.

And disclaimer up front that I know Sera is a controversial character in the fandom and there are a variety of reasons for that, so if you don't like Sera, that's fine. Some of this may read as an impassioned defense of her, and it kind of is, but it's not a manifesto; it's mostly that I have a lot of thoughts and feelings I'm excited to share.

Sera is a city elf orphaned young and raised as the ward of a human noblewoman, Lady Emmald, an upbringing which has left her with both a troubled relationship to elven identity, and a deep hatred of the nobility. We get only a brief glimpse into Sera's childhood with Lady Emmald, as she does not like to talk about it, but we can gather that the memories that have stuck with her are not good ones, most notably the "pride cookies" story that Sera will share with the Inquisitor at a high enough level of friendship. Lady Emmald would buy cookies from a local baker and pass them off as homemade, unwilling to admit she wasn't good at baking. To keep Sera from finding out, Emmald told her the baker hated elves so that she would never go there. She led Sera to believe she was hated and to hate in return, all to protect her own pride. To this day, cookies bring up bad memories for Sera.

World of Thedas Volume 2 suggests that Sera may have inherited Lady Emmald's estate when her guardian died of illness sometime before the Blight, but rejected her inheritance, wanting nothing more to do with that life. I don't believe this ever comes up in the game, however.

As an adult, Sera is a member of the Friends of Red Jenny, a loose network of common people who collaborate across Thedas to benefit one another's interests and offer some degree of protection from or revenge for the abuses of nobles where they can. Sera's Red Jenny affiliation is a nice bit of continuity from previous games which I like a lot. The Friends of Red Jenny are first mentioned in a cryptic little side quest in Origins wherein the Warden delivers a small painted box to a location in Denerim on the instructions of a note looted from a body after an ambush, for the reward of a few gold coins. In Dragon Age II, Hawke can clear the streets of bandits and undesirables at night and return to "A Friend" in the Hanged Man for rewards; at the end of that quest line, "A Friend" is revealed to be a Friend of Red Jenny. And now in Inquisition, we have a Red Jenny companion, who brings her network of Friends and unorthodox methods to the Inquisition. (It's also suggested in the war table operation "Red Jenny and the Tantervale Charade" that Hawke's cousin Charade Amell is a Jenny operating out of Tantervale in the Free Marches, which would explain a lot about Charade's roundabout ploys to get Gamlen's attention!)

I think it's safe to say that Sera's personal identity is most strongly rooted in a kind of class consciousness; she identifies first as what she would call a "little person," a commoner.

And it's worth noting that Sera doesn't respect social climbers any more than she respects the existing nobility, which comes out a lot in her banter and in her responses to various quests. She disapproves, for example, if in "Noble Deeds, Noble Hearts" the Inquisitor gives proof of Fairbanks' noble heritage to Clara; she approves if you respect Fairbanks' wishes to keep his parentage a secret and live as a commoner. In "Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts," she disapproves of reconciling Celene and Briala, but approves of any outcome that involves blackmail (either against Gaspard or against all three parties).

I think there's an interesting contrast to be had, too, between Sera and Vivienne, both of whom are characters I like and find quite interesting. And despite what you might think if you take their conversations at face value, I think their relationship is quite a bit more complicated than Vivienne being more privileged than Sera and looking down on her. Vivienne dresses, talks, and behaves like a noble, yes—but she's not a noble. Vivienne was born to Rivaini merchants and raised in the Circle of Magi, where she rose to First Enchanter of Montsimmard and then Enchanter to the Imperial Court of Orlais—a position that according to Leliana was once "little more than Court Jester" until Vivienne herself worked to make the appointment a position of respect. Sera is elven and common-born yet inherited a noble fortune; while she probably would never have held a title in Ferelden, she could have had greater financial resources at her disposal, had she not rejected them. It's easy to forget, but both Sera and Vivienne have come from fairly humble origins, and both of them have been presented with some unique opportunities given those origins.

Vivienne holds considerable influence in Orlais for a mage, but we should not forget that she has had to work for every scrap of it. Vivienne's manner, the way she approaches every situation with confidence and poise and her head held high, is just how one survives in Orlais. If you're not looking down at someone, you're looking up at them, and if you're looking up you're under someone's boot. On the one hand I don't love the way Vivienne treats Sera, especially a romanced Sera; on the other hand I must admit that "It's nothing personal, darling. I am demonstrably better than most" is an absolutely sick burn and I did laugh. (These days, I am frequently more amused by companion acrimony than I probably should be; I think somewhere around DA2 I just gave up on being bothered when companions don't like each other and instead embraced the comedy gold that often comes with it.)

There's a delightful little bit of party banter where Blackwall (who shares much of Sera's distaste for the nobility) needles Vivienne a bit about how she must miss being away from the luxuries of Val Royeaux. To this, Vivienne breezily responds, "I miss them. I do not require them. But please, continue to imagine me a pampered lady, if it makes you feel superior."

I am reminded here of the ongoing tension between Solas and Sera that comes out frequently in their party banter. At one point Solas will remark that it is a shame she was "denied an elven life," and Sera fires back, "Ooh! You think the only reason I'm not elfy is because I had no choice? Poor me, right?" At multiple points Solas will offer opinions on Red Jenny. When he asks Sera, "Do you wish to disrupt the nobility, secure a title? Or change the political structure entirely?" Sera responds with dismay, "None of it! I don't want any of that!"

Set these next to each other and they show us how Sera and Vivienne are alike and how they are different. Vivienne has worked hard to achieve upward mobility, and the reward for her success is that everyone assumes she is too privileged to know anything else. Sera has deliberately rejected upward mobility (as well as "elfiness") in favor of class solidarity, and is rewarded by people assuming that she is too stupid and ignorant to have chosen anything else.

Sera and Vivienne do not like one another, and probably never would, and Vivienne especially doesn't approve of the Inquisitor romancing Sera and makes that known (I'm sure the reverse would also be true if Vivienne were romanceable, which she isn't, because the world isn't fair). Both of their identities and worldviews are rooted in a certain understanding of power and power structures, but they approach those structures completely differently. Vivienne is a climber, believing it worthwhile to try and reach the top. Sera despises climbers, preferring to stay on the ground and fire arrows upward. And yet as different as they are, they have both made very deliberate choices with regard to their social status, and both will in their own way call out the assumptions other people make about them.

I think the biggest question that arises with Sera is, if she thinks the nobility is so terrible, then why isn't she trying to actively change the existing power structure? This is certainly Solas's confusion, as expressed in this conversation:

Solas: I do not understand you, Sera. You have no end goal for your organization. Sera: Nobles get rattled, and people get payback. I play in the middle. Solas: Why not go all the way? You see injustice, and you have organized a group to fight it. Don’t you want to replace it with something better? Sera: What, just lop off the top? What’s that do, except make a new top to frig it all up? Solas: I…forgive me. You are right. You are fine as you are.

This, I think, gets at some of Sera's core beliefs about power and why she prefers to act from below rather than trying to get to the top. Sera views structural power as inherently corrupting. Anyone who makes it to the top is going to frig it up.

That's what being at the top means.

We might call it a failure of imagination on Sera's part that she doesn't seem to be able to consider the possibility of creating a different kind of power structure, only replacing who's at the top. And, well, fair enough. But consider even in our own world, with a variety of governing structures on display for us, the challenge of imagining something completely new and then envisioning a realistic path to it. (And if you've got that all figured out, let me know!)

Sera is class-conscious, Sera identifies and organizes around class-consciousness, but she is not a revolutionary. We might criticize that about her, but why lay that burden on her, specifically, when the Inquisition is packed to the gills with people who have far more structural power than Sera? This setting is full of injustices, but it is worth questioning why the burden of righting them should be laid on this character, specifically, when she is already dedicated to helping other "little people" in smaller and less risky ways.

Once the Inquisitor gets friendly with Sera, they can ask her more about herself, about where she's from. In this conversation she'll talk about the Red Jennies in Denerim where she grew up, and she'll mention that some other Jennies were "a lot more serious about being serious" and that it got some of them killed—a reminder that Sera's "little people" have plenty to lose. And Sera really hates anyone who gets less powerful people hurt and killed for their own ends. I think this is really at the heart of both her visceral hatred for nobles and her passion for Red Jenny, and this becomes really clear during the "The Verchiel March," when Sera will get more and more upset if the Inquisitor keeps talking to Lord Harmond and appears amenable to working with him. She never set out intending to kill the Verchiel nobles, only rattle them a little, but after Harmond murders an unwitting informant in front of her? She's furious. She wants him dead. And if the Inquisitor is willing to work with him, that makes the Inquisitor someone who can't be trusted.

So let's talk about Sera's relationship to elven identity. There's no question that it's a complicated one; one of the first things she says to an elf Inquisitor (which at the time of writing I'm currently playing) is an offhanded "Hope you're not too elfy." You don't get an approval hit for saying she's "different for an elf," but she will respond to the effect that she doesn't appreciate assumptions being made about her based on her being an elf, which doesn't seem unreasonable, honestly. I've seen Sera's attitude framed as self-hatred but I do feel like it's a bit more complicated than that; has she struggled with self-hatred in her life, yes, absolutely--the cookie story makes that very clear. But I think that to simply say Sera hates herself for being an elf is an oversimplification in the same way as saying Vivienne hates herself for being a mage. Sera definitely has some insecurities, and I think Vivienne needles her accurately when she remarks that Sera actually cares a great deal what people think of her. At this point in her life, however, I don't feel like she hates being an elf so much as she hates when all people (elves and otherwise) see in her is their own presumptions about what elves are or should be, and not who she is.

Elven identity is a complicated thing in this universe, and tensions between city elves and Dalish elves is certainly nothing new. Dalish elves largely view themselves as the sole keepers of elven culture, calling city elves "flat ears" and in some cases barely regarding them as elves, and yet I would argue that alienage culture is also elven culture. Though they are not referenced as a group in-game, we also see plenty of examples of what we might call "country elves"—elves who live on farms and in villages in more rural areas, some of whom still maintain a bit of the ancient language and a belief in the ancient gods. (The elf family you meet in Lothering comes to mind, as well as various NPCs around the Hinterlands.) Even among elven servants, which could be regarded as a sort of sub-class in itself, there seems to be a kind of subtle understanding and solidarity, based on Briala's point of view in The Masked Empire. All of these are elven culture.

Sera is on the extreme end of not identifying with elven culture generally, but I want to draw a distinction between Dalish culture (which might be called a kind of Elvhen reconstructionism) and elven culture generally. Sera is not fond of the Dalish, but I'm also not sure how much contact with Dalish elves she's actually had, considering that she's lived most of her life in major cities. So I have to wonder if her particular irritation with the Dalish comes from interactions with actual Dalish elves, or from their general reputation. I'm not saying the Dalish wouldn't be rude to Sera; many of them definitely would. I'm just not sure if her feelings about them come from direct experience with the Dalish or from other elves generally.

Because Sera does feel alienated by elven culture generally, and if you listen to to her ambient dialogue and banter throughout the game, if you take her on quests and listen to the things she says, it becomes really obvious that being told she's the wrong kind of elf is a particularly sharp pain point for Sera and has left her with a lot of anger and resentment. I don't know from whom exactly this has come, because she never goes into details, but it's obviously something she's heard a lot.

I had Sera with me for most of Jaws of Hakkon on this playthrough, and she has some really interesting dialogue for Finn, a young Avvar man who is in danger of being disowned because due to a disabling injury, he is unable to complete the ritual hunt for his late father's funeral rites. "Wait, so he does this or he's the wrong kind of elf?" Sera snaps, like that's something she's been told repeatedly. She clearly feels a powerful compassion and solidarity for Finn, insisting the Inquisitor give the gifts of the hunt to Finn himself so that he can keep his father's name: "We help him. Not asking. Do it." Upon doing so, Sera remarks to Finn, "Say what they want, and you can belong. But maybe when you figure that threatening you was shit, come look for a Jenny." She wants him to have the option to stay with his community, but also for him to know he has somewhere to go should he choose to leave. I really love that. To me, this is Sera at her best, reaching out in solidarity and compassion to help someone outcast, offering them a place to belong.

Sera certainly has her less-sympathetic moments too. Her absolute glee over the revelations from the Temple of Mythal is honestly not cute. I have sympathy for where Sera's coming from on elfy things, but she's really spiteful about it in this case: "The Dalish. Are going. To shit themselves!" She'll get angry at a human Inquisitor (as she did at mine, who was in a romance with her) just for trying to be respectful of what they saw in the temple and not outright denouncing all of elven tradition as rubbish. "You're not even an elf! Why are you being so damned elfy?" There are several ways to resolve this fight, and it certainly wasn't a relationship ender with a human Inquisitor. (I can't speak to elf Inquisitors since I haven't romanced her with one yet.) I certainly don't think it's out of character for Sera, but it definitely exposes some of her pettiness and insecurity. If she were fully secure in who she is, elfy or not, she wouldn't need "elfy elves" discredited to validate her.

But Sera's a flawed character, and that's not a bad thing. I think she does show some growth in subtle ways, too—if an elf Inquisitor befriends her, her journal will include the line: "Book. Read elfy stuff for her (scratched out)." She's trying! In Trespasser her journal entries express concern about whether the Inquisitor is "all right with the elfy stuff" and wanting to be there for them and help if they aren't. A big step forward from the Temple of Mythal!

I also enjoy the way Sera actually comes around to certain people you wouldn't expect her to like, or at least respects them. Of Josephine, Sera remarks that "She's as good at humbling her kind as I am, just with less mess. Knows her business, if you have to have it." And there's this beautiful banter with Dorian:

Sera: So you’re fat with it, right? Dorian: Me? Are you referring to…? Sera: Do you sleep on silk while gold shits down all over you? Are you rich? Dorian: I left all that behind. Although I do miss the gold-shitting from time to time. Sera: You really left it, huh? Knew you weren’t all bad.

I talked quite a bit about Vivienne above, so let's talk about how other characters interact with Sera.

After a successful march through Verchiel, Cullen notes at the war table, "Potential future gains may be impressive. Do not tell Sera I said so."

Why not?

This quest is Sera's first chance to prove her value and the value of her organization to the Inquisition—and she's proven it. (Yes, things go a bit sideways later, but that hasn't actually happened yet, and she continues to bring information and quests to the Inquisition after that setback if allowed to stay.) So, that Cullen doesn't want to acknowledge her value after she's demonstrated it? Well, that sucks a little! We sure wouldn't want to let one of our allies know she's valuable to us. All because he doesn't like her personally—and because she's not important enough to be worth showing respect. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, honestly, and illuminates a certain feeling I have about the Inquisition generally.

Let's review the backgrounds of the rest of the Inquisition's inner circle, shall we?

Cullen Rutherford, Knight-Captain turned Commander, respected enough to gain the trust of Leliana and Cassandra which is not nothing. Leliana, experienced bard, used to mingling with nobles, friend of the Hero of Ferelden, Left Hand of the Divine. Josephine Montilyet, noble-born, Ambassador. Cassandra Pentaghast, Nevarran royalty, Seeker of Truth promoted to Right Hand of the Divine at a remarkably young age. Dorian Pavus, Tevinter nobility, albeit estranged from his family, still influential enough to be apprenticed to a magister. Varric Tethras, born to a powerful dwarven Merchant Guild family, popular author, friend of the Champion of Kirkwall. Vivienne, Enchanter to the Imperial Court, mistress to the Duke of Ghislain (which in the Orlesian court is considered a respectable enough position to be declared openly). The Iron Bull, Qunari Ben-Hassrath, commander of the Bull's Chargers. Solas, the Dread Wolf of elven legend and though currently known only as an elven apostate, quite vocal about his authority on elven history and his dismay over Sera's everything.

Compare all of those Very Important People to: Blackwall, (not) Grey Warden, traitor, murderer, and liar. Cole, spirit, lost soul. Sera, commoner, elf, Red Jenny.

At the end of the day, you can spin it any number of ways and it's generally in-character for most of them so this isn't a writing complaint, but people look down on Sera. Most of your advisors and companions are either noble-born, used to mingling with nobility, or otherwise Someone Important. Even Blackwall, the closest to Sera in terms of class (and you can tell by how well they get along in party banter), spends most of the game pretending to be Somebody that he isn't. Cole's whole personal conflict is a crisis of identity and fear of his own nature. Sera is low class, crass, broad, common—and an elf to boot. And she doesn't try to hide any of that. She is who she is.

And her commonness is her value. She sees things in a way that people like Cullen and Josephine and Cassandra cannot. She has a perspective most of the Inner Circle doesn't. She is valuable because she is nobody. The founders of the Inquisition make plenty of noise about "restoring order" and you get a lot of dialogue about how the Inquisitor gives hope to "the people" and how important they are to "the people." Well, Sera is the goddamn people. Not to say that she represents all commoners, but if the Inquisition has contempt for the manner and perspective of someone like Sera, they are going to have that same kind of contempt for many of the very people they claim to be protecting, when they actually meet them face to face.

Sera's crassness and prankster tendencies come across as disrespectful, but it's worth asking why exactly everyone else is deserving of her unconditional, unearned respect when they show none to her. Just because they're Very Important People of higher social standing? Is that not an assumption worth interrogating? I think it is, and I think Sera's very presence in the Inquisition invites us to examine assumptions about class and status and respect that might otherwise go unexamined in a story like this. And if you've read my Masked Empire essay, you know that I am 100% here for storytelling in this universe that dismantles the fantasy trope of the benevolent nobility.

It's no mystery why the companion Sera gets along with best is Blackwall, and they have some great friendly banter. I think she might even get along fine with Cole if she didn't know he was a spirit, and if he didn't constantly say out loud really on-the-nose things about people's hidden pain, because that's the stuff about him that freaks her out. If he was just a weird dude who wanted to help people and went about it in some strange ways, I think she'd be cool with him.

I gained a lot of sympathy for Sera over the course of the game and romancing her, but frankly nothing gained me more sympathy for her than seeing how shitty other characters are to her. Sera's used to being treated like dirt, but she's also not going to curtsy and thank you for the pleasure. Fart noises, indeed.

But that's not actually a complaint about the game. Like I said, I think the unexamined disdain for someone like Sera is pretty in-character for most of our Very Important Companions. And I like all of those characters a whole lot, so I'm definitely not trying to slam any characters to uplift Sera. It's good for characters to have flaws. Sera has them. Every companion has them. That's good writing.

Where I do have some complaints is in the ways in which the Inquisitor is able to talk to Sera—or rather, the ways they're not.

For many of the dialogue options with Sera, even the most positive response kind of implies that you're just tolerating her or humoring her. Even when you're trying to role-play as aggressively positive toward Sera as possible, the Inquisitor as written and voiced comes off as confused by her and by Red Jenny. Of course that will make sense for some characters, but the total dearth of a "Sounds rad, count me in" option when Sera tells you about her organization is a source of continual frustration to me. Why, exactly, don't I have the option to say I think Red Jenny is awesome? Why is that not a thing my character can think? Of course I should have the option to say otherwise, but why I assume I won't get it and will need it explained to me over and over?

The concept of the Friends of Red Jenny is not that hard to understand. People with little power banding together to exercise a bit more collectively should not be stupid or baffling. It especially should not be baffling to a mage or a surface dwarf or a Vashoth qunari. It also shouldn't be that confusing that they're working together to achieve small goals and desires without looking to start a large-scale revolution that would likely just get a lot of them killed. It's not complicated, but the game seems to expect you to view it with, at best, confusion, and at worst, contempt. It starts to feel like you're expected to either dislike her or at the very least not "get" her, and that rubs me the wrong way not just because I do like her, but because it feels railroady. I should have the option to vibe with Sera right from the start if I want to.

(For the record, I'm pretty sure the reason this happened is because the Inquisitor was originally conceived and written as a human from a noble family. Basically everything that's annoying about the Inquisitor's dialogue with Sera makes so much more sense if you look at it from that perspective, and it's also not the fault of her writer. Mark Darrah has talked about this more recently, and the Bioware team never actually wanted to have a human-only Inquisitor but had to start out that way because EA wanted the game to ship in 2013; it was a whole thing.)

Where you do get the option, it's fun to vibe with Sera. It's real fun. She has some excellent friendship content that is not unique to the romance. There's the pranks sequence, wherein Sera wants to play a few tricks on the Inquisition's advisors. I can see how this could be off-putting to some people (I don't like practical jokes in real life) but I can appreciate Sera's stated reasons for doing it: to humanize these Very Important People to their underlings and as such, to improve morale. In that way, it reminds me of the Iron Bull taking the Inquisitor to mingle with the rank and file disguised as one of them, to hear their perspectives and give names and faces to the people depending on their leader. It's also really nice for breaking up the Everything Is Super Serious tone of the Inquisition as an organization and injecting some fun into it. Again, Sera just brings an energy and perspective to the Inquisition that no one else does. Then there's the roof talk about the cookies, after which you have the option to go spend some "friendly roof time" with Sera whenever you like. For a reluctant Inquisitor, I think Sera can offer a much-needed escape from the gravity of their work, and I certainly found her becoming that for my Inquisitor Eleanor.

I find Sera's little window alcove in the tavern so charming. I also love the idea that she just claimed this space and told everyone to piss off. Maryden might have had a thing for Sera, if the song is any indication, so maybe she went to bat for her. Either way, Sera has her own little space and collection of curiosities.

The codex entry you can read nearby features a note from Quartermaster Morris questioning whether it's a good use of Inquisition resources to give her a cabinet. A cabinet. She doesn't even have a private room with a bed, but how dare she ask for one wooden bookcase for her stuff. Again, it's everyone treating Sera like a waste of space, like she doesn't deserve even one nice thing, while Skyhold's "visiting dignitaries" have their every whim catered to.

And let's talk about stuff. Let's talk about Sera's collection of things, a collection for a girl who's been reminded her whole life of all the things she doesn't deserve. A collection of the few things a girl considers important or interesting after she rejected the inheritance left her by her abusive foster mother. Parts of Sera's catalog are very funny! I will always laugh at "Goblet. Fancy cup. Cup. Shit goblet." But I also find something very touching about Sera's little collection of things, and what she writes about them, especially with a romance active, as she gradually adds things that remind her of the Inquisitor she loves. I could write pages just talking about how much I love Sera's journaling but some bits I especially love:

Silk. Bolts, not arrow-bolts. Soft! Make something!

Use silk for her! Underpants (scratched out). Tit thing (scratched out). Scarf (scratched out).

Silk is stupid. Get book to sew better. (scratched out).

Silk comes out of a worm's arse! Yuck!

That book she reads. Why's it good? Soooo long (scratched out).

Stupid book. Didn't cry.

Book. Learn Human stuff for her (scratched out). Every book is human stuff.

Sera's gift quest, "A Woman Who Wants for Nothing," is delightful and made me so glad I chose this romance. In it, Sera mentions that she got the Inquisitor a hat. Well, actually, what she says is, "Listen! I got you a hat, but it's ugly, so I drew Coryhe-whatzit's face on it, and stuffed it with apples. Everyone's hitting it with sticks! I really hope you like it!" and then runs away giggling. The Inquisitor, charmingly, takes this SUPER SERIOUSLY and decides she needs to get Sera a gift in return. She then asks everyone in the Inner Circle for gift ideas, with the responses ranging from supportive befuddlement to outright annoyance, with Solas and Vivienne both giving approval drops and Vivienne sarcastically replying, "Just shave something rude into your privates, dear. She won't get the redundancy." (If you entertain this suggestion, you get a hilarious bonus cutscene later.)

But when the Inquisitor returns to Sera to confess that she asked everyone for advice but couldn't figure out a proper gift, Sera replies, "Wait wait wait. You went to everyone and said I was your lover? Right to their faces?" She doubles over laughing before adding, "Best gift ever."

It's a funny scene, and a funny quest, but at the core of it is the fact that the best gift Sera could receive is someone who accepts her, who isn't ashamed of her—someone who's proud to claim her and love her for who she is.

Usually, the expression that a person "wants for nothing" means that they already have everything they could possibly want, but for Sera it takes on a different meaning. Sera, probably the least wealthy member of the Inner Circle, with her rejected inheritance and her little collection of things—Sera for whom the greatest gift is not another thing for her shelf, but simply acceptance.

In Trespasser, Sera has a new journal codex, "Sera's Past and Now Things" and it's even more of a delight, with such notes as "Back to the Winter Palace? Never good. Pack bees." It also features Sera's worries about the Inquisitor's mark, which is slowly killing them, with increasing distress for a romanced Sera and such heartrending bits as:

It isn't... (scratched out).

I will... (scratched out).

We have to... (scratched out).

(The book is scuffed, as though thrown against a wall. This page also has what look to be tear stains.)

I have arrows. They leave and things die.

I get to keep something.

Why don't I get to... (scratched out).

Make her happy. I will keep that she was happy.

I also found it really touching that her love being there makes the Fade okay for Sera, and helps her face something she's afraid of.

If you can look beneath the surface with Sera, I think her friendship and especially her romance is really moving, and taking the time in-game to get to know her is extremely rewarding in the end.

The Inquisitor and Sera can get married at the Winter Palace during Trespasser. Inky can wear her terrible dress uniform and Sera wears an ugly dress and shouts "That's our bells, nobbers! We frigging win!" from the balcony. It's perfect.

I love Sera, I'm so glad I really got to know her, I'm so glad I decided to play her romance. This one's a keeper.