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animasolaoriginal · 5 months

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(3) I n n o c e n c e L o s t

He finds her in a brothel of all places. A chance encounter, but one that will change his life – and hers – forever. – or: A story about a cowboy who falls in love with a prostitute, who happens to be so much more than that.

GENERAL TAGS: NSFW! Explicit! Size difference, age gap, slow burn romance. Cowboys, outlaws, prostitutes. Historical inaccuracy. Horses, guns, violence.

Chapter 1▫️2▫️3▫️4▫️5▫️6▫️7▫️8▫️9▫️10▫️11▫️12▫️13 ...

Chapter 3: The Promise

m!OC x f!OC -- WORDS: 5.5k -- READ ON AO3

when a girl meets a bunch of outsiders

Chapter 2 -- Chapter 4

Wow.

When the girl returns from Ginny's wagon, she looks like a completely different person. A young woman. Long brown hair in a messy side braid, hanging over her shoulder. She's wearing a dark green skirt with a white underskirt peeking past the hem, reaching her calves, made of stiff cotton, hitched up at one side to reveal a pale knee clad in the ruffled fabric of a pair of long bloomers. Frilly white socks in dark ankle boots. Her torso is covered in a loose violet linen blouse, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, hugging her soft chest, hinting at the small mounds beyond, buttoned up high enough to hide any sign of cleavage or too much skin.

He's almost a little disappointed.

But in his mind he still sees the naked girl as she steps out of the tub, water running down her pale skin, along the gentle curves of her body and the harsher edges of her hipbones, her hands outstretched as she offers him support to get out as well, her arms squishing those soft little breasts together. His large hands close around her wrists, and he gets up with a groan, his body heavy from the warm water, the rest of the alcohol, the comfort of being with her.

She leads him to the bed, his eyes roam her small frame, the way her hips sway, her rear, those small but plump cheeks, how her thighs move when she walks, the muscles in her calves. He barely registers how she grabs a towel, how she dries his large body, then hers, all he sees and smells and wants is her. Her big green eyes look up at him, and it might have been a trick of the light, but he sees hunger in them, her pupils slightly dilated.

He watches her as she crawls onto the bed, on all fours, then spins around and lies down on her back, legs pressed together, a little stiff, before she settles on the sheets, hair splayed out around her head as she sinks onto the pillow, a slight jiggle to her small breasts, her arms resting above her head in a submissive sort of gesture.

His body moves on its own, his mind spinning, the weight of his cock a constant reminder what he really wants, but when he climbs onto the bed, over her, he takes a deep breath, his eyes roaming her frame, every inch of her pale, slender body, and then he simply lies down on her, focused on not squishing her, his heavy head resting right in the valley between her breasts, his arms snaking around her small body, so tiny, so frail, so vulnerable, and he still wants to press his broader frame to her soft skin, feel her warmth.

His hips encircle her pelvis, her upper thighs, he feels the slight throbbing of his cock as it's squished between his lower stomach and her leg, and then... he just fell asleep. Too comfortable to follow the images in his head of doing things to her he probably shouldn't be doing, no matter how much he wants to. (Keira's kid.) Before he drifts off into blissful unconsciousness, he feels her small hands on his back, sliding into his hair, holding him like he's holding her.

And now she's here, in his camp, away from the grueling life of servicing random men. She looks different, she walks differently. More timid, as if the world is too big for her, the sky too blue, the sun too warm, too many unknowns around her. But he'll help her adjust, he'll take care of her, he's promised himself this the moment he has seen Keira in her, heard of her story.

He still can't believe the woman he once loved would leave her own daughter like this, destined to be degraded every night, to be just a body, a mouth, a throat, to be used. There has to be more to that story.

Like there is more to the establishment she has worked in. He had no idea about the strings attached to a simple brothel in a small town, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, whose hands are pulling them, who he has made very mad probably. But then again he doesn't care. She's safe now. She was one of many girls, why would they come after her specifically?

He sighs the many thoughts away and walks towards her, watches Ginny tug on her blouse, fluffing it up a little, making it more airy, loosen a few buttons. The girl blushes when he approaches them, meeting his eyes with a shy smile.

“Beautiful,” he says in a low hum, tilting his head. She blushes even more (or is that rouge on her cheeks?) and looks away, a soft little giggle falling over her full lips.

“Functional,” Ginny exclaims with a laugh and pats the girl on the back a little too hard, causing her to stumble a bit. “This weather can be brutal in too many layers. I'll pick up some more clothes for you later, dearie,” she tells Nebbia with a motherly smile, and she nods at the red-haired woman, muttering a soft: “Thank you.”

Ginny laughs and walks to stand next to Ben, looking back over her shoulder. “She may look like Keira, but she is so much more polite,” she whispers at him, and he huffs a chuckle and nods. “Be good to her, huh?” she adds and pokes her finger into his side playfully before she keeps walking.

“Of course,” he growls, his eyes still fixed on the brunette in front of him.

Then they are alone, and she looks so small and helpless, her hands fidgeting with the fabric of her wide skirt. He takes a step closer, looking down at her. She tilts her chin up and meets his gaze. There's more than shyness to her expression now, there's curiosity, expectation. Like she's waiting for him to take her hand and show her this new world he's brought her to.

And so he does, his long fingers close around her wrist, move down until he envelops her small hand in his, and with a crooked smirk, he tilts his head to her and nudges her onward, pulling her along towards where the horses graze in the bright sun, their coats shimmering in the light, their manes and tails moving slightly in the warm breeze.

She squeezes his hand gently when she follows him. “They're so pretty,” she whispers as he watches how her eyes wander over the various horses until she spots the large black stallion, bigger than all the others, on the other side of the meadow, grazing in the shadows near the trees. “Hey, is that the horse that carried us last night? The black one?” she asks quietly, looking up at him with her big green eyes. Like deep water pierced by the rays of the sun, shifting, glowing.

He's lost in those eyes for a moment, but nods nonetheless. “Come on, let me properly introduce you to Thunder,” he says with a smile and leads her along the edge of the field towards his horse.

“Thunder?” Her voice sounds almost mocking.

He scoffs. “Yes. You don't think that's a good name for a big black Friesian?”

She mouths something he can't understand, as if repeating a word she's never heard before. “Why Thunder?” she then asks with childlike curiosity.

“Well, I've won him in a round of poker, and it was a stormy night... and I was drunk out of my mind, so...” he explains with a shrug, giving her a smirk. She replies it in earnest.

“I guess it's better than Lightning Bolt or something,” she muses.

He laughs, stopping and raising their joined hands to point towards a large gray Mustang with a black mane. She frowns at him, then looks that way. “Let me introduce you to Lightning Bolt,” he chuckles. “Mitch's horse. Won the same night.”

“Oh,” she makes and stifles a snicker. “You are very creative men...” she says before she looks up at him. “Who's Mitch?”

“The man at the table who's been smoking,” he says and keeps walking, squeezing her hand. “The man you probably heard this morning. We are a tight-knit, more or less democratic community, but he runs things around here. He might look and sound stern, but he'll warm up to you, don't worry.”

She gives a doubtful humming sound, falling silent then. He throws her a side-glance and continues on their way along the meadow until they reach the large black horse. Thunder snorts in greeting, bowing his large head towards them.

Ben lets go of Nebbia's hand and pats the animal heartily. “Hello, old boy. Well rested, huh?” With one hand on his strong neck, slipping his fingers through his long mane, he reaches the other out towards the girl who keeps a respectful distance. She looks particularly small next to the giant steed. “Come on, don't be afraid, he's mild as a dove,” he chuckles.

She raises an eyebrow but cautiously puts her hand on his large palm. He pulls her closer, then places her hand onto Thunder's shiny black coat. He's warm to the touch, muscles twitching beneath their hands. She gasps slightly as Ben moves her hand along the back, letting her feel the strong muscles and warmth of his skin. He stands right behind her, caging her in between his body and the horse.

Thunder's withers stands at proud five foot six, probably six inches taller than the girl trying to look over his massive body. She is still petting the patient animal, when he leans back a little, about to slip his hands into his pockets, but then he has the urge to grab her waist and lift her up. And he does. She yelps and squeals, but doesn't kick him, luckily, until he's sat her sideways on the horse, her eyes wide, her lips trembling, her hands trying to grab his wrists in support.

“Still afraid of heights, hm?” he muses, looking up at her, his hands resting on her hips.

She nods. “Please set me down,” she whispers. “It's even worse when I can actually see the ground...”

“Don't look down then,” he laughs, holding her in place. Thunder snorts but doesn't move.

“Will you hold me?” she asks, her voice a breathy whisper, shaking slightly.

“Of course.”

He sees her swallowing before she dares to look around, her breath slowly easing as she focuses on the forest and the meadow and the house in the distance. She even looks up into the blue sky and inhales deeply, her chest rising under her blouse. But as soon as he lets go of her, she gasps and stares at him.

“Calm down,” he chuckles, remaining close to the horse, her shoes brushing against his arm. “Maybe you'll like it more if you'd sit like a man,” he then tells her.

“Like a –”

“With one leg on either side.”

“Oh,” she breathes. “But my skirt –”

“Lift it up a little, I'll hold you,” he says and puts his hands back on her waist while she fidgets with the hem of her long skirt. She hitches it up to her knees, revealing more of the long bloomers beneath it. “Now try to throw one leg over his neck.”

She leans into his hold (the trust she has in him is both impressive and a little concerning) and does as he's suggested. He helps her by lifting her slightly, allowing her skirt to ride up more as she moves her leg over the horse's body. The thick fabric is gathered in her lap now, her bare shins hanging off either side.

“Grab his mane,” he instructs, gently nudging her elbow to make her do it. She is a little stiff on the horse's back (such a tiny girl on this giant animal), her hands shaking, but eventually she digs her fingers through the thick black hair and grabs a tuft of it in each hand. “You're doing great, sweetheart,” he praises, and she turns her head to him and smiles timidly.

He keeps one hand on her lower back, showing her he's there, but lowers his other hand to grab a hold of Thunder's halter, then nudges the reins free from where they're tugged to a post. Taking a step forwards, he sees the horse following his movements, slowly starting to bring his large body into motion, and Nebbia yelps in surprise, gripping the mane tighter when she sways slightly backwards.

“It's alright, relax, I got you,” he tells her, but her body is tense under his hand. “You won't fall. Trust me.”

He feels her taking a shuddering breath as she white-knuckles the tufts of hair in her small hands. A sigh of his own escapes him as his hand wanders towards her tight fists, gently easing her grip. She looks at him, pressing her lips together. He keeps his hand there and leads the large Friesian in a half-circle across the meadow, his heavy hooves stomping loudly over the grass.

“He moves so gracefully,” he hears her whisper, and smiles up at her. “Despite his build.”

He laughs at that. “Never judge a large guy by his build alone, eh?” he muses, throwing her a wink. A few red spots move onto her pale cheeks and a smile tugs at the corner of her lips. He gently squeezes her hands.

“Can I get down now? I should probably be more... productive,” she whispers, and he remembers Mitch's words. No slacking. He nods with a sigh and turns Thunder around, bringing him back to his spot in the shade. By the end of the round, she sits much more relaxed on top of the large animal.

He puts the reins back around the post, patting the horse's neck gently. “Well done, boy.” Then he turns to the girl on his back, tilting his head with a smirk. “So, you think you can get down yourself?” he asks, putting his hands on his hips, shifting his belt slightly.

The tiny girl looks down at him with a fearful pout, hands still gripping the mane tightly. “Please help me,” she mouths barely audible.

“Try to put your leg over his neck again,” he says, dropping his arms and stepping closer. “Don't worry, I'll catch you if you slip.”

She holds his gaze, then focuses on what he's told her. She's still stiff, very tense in her movements, but somehow she manages to pull her leg towards him, sitting sideways again now. He smiles up at her and reaches his arms out, beckoning her closer. This trust in him... what does she see in him that makes her so trusting?

Suddenly she leans forwards, her hands finding his forearms, then his shoulders, while his hands scrape along her sides, trying to grip her waist, and with a slight “Oof” from him and a tiny yelp from her, she falls into his arms, wraps hers around his neck and slumps against his chest as she slips off the horse's back. He holds her, arms tightly around her small body, pressing her against him.

He can't help but inhale deeply, take in her scent, remember last night.

Her cheek moves over his, soft skin against the roughness of his beard. She holds onto him, relaxing in his hold, the tension falling off her. Thunder gives off a loud whinny and breaks through his thoughts, his memories of her naked body beneath his, of his wants, of her lips around –

With a deep sigh, he loosens his grip and lets her slip down his body until her feet meet the ground, her arms outstretched, hands gripping the back of his neck as she looks up at him. Hopeful, intrigued, a little flustered and confused. Her cheeks are reddened. His hands rest on her waist, thumbs rubbing over her stomach, fingers tracing the curve of her spine. He wants to rip off that violet blouse, expose her, really feel her...

“Thank you,” she whispers, and he doesn't know what exactly she's thanking him for, but he takes it, nods with a soft smile, watches her, awfully aware that he shouldn't look at her like this. Not in broad daylight, not here with everyone watching him like he's gone mad for bringing this girl to their camp.

But he had to. And when push comes to shove, he will go with her, if they don't want him, he will not leave her to her own devices. Not now that he knows that she exists.

He takes a deep breath, and she sees it as a sign to let go of him. Her hands move slowly down along his chest before she drops them, the same moment he drops his, and she takes a step back, almost bumping into the large black horse behind her.

“Alright,” he sighs and puts his hands into his pockets. “Lemme show you what you can do around here to get on Mitch's good side,” he tells her with a wink and tilts his head to the side to show her to follow him. She nods eagerly and walks with him.

Nebbia is surprisingly enthusiastic about the various chores they have around the camp. He shows her the laundry buckets near the back of the house where a small creek bubbles along the line of the trees, the clothing lines spanned between them, drying clothes already on them. They meet Milly, the oldest of the women, her toothless smile full of joy at the sight of the much younger girl.

The next station he brings her to is the cooking wagon. The cart is full of supplies, mostly tin cans, but there's fresh meat hanging outside the tent erected next to it, drying in the sun. The smell is mouthwatering already. A large pot rests on a stand above a fire-pit, a big ladle inside, bowls of various shapes and sizes piled up around it. Soup of the day, or of most days. They don't get too much variation around here. But it's a belly filling meal, warm and tasty, so he doesn't complain.

On their way to the supply tent, they walk past a group of men lounging around a smaller fire, sitting on the dirt, backs against the logs around them, smoking and drinking already, laughing at their own jokes. It's Bob, Bill and Joe, their best shooters, fastest riders, but also their most degenerate. They're good on a job, but bad among people. He's tempted to avoid them by taking the girl in a wide circle around them, but despite their mid-day buzz, they spot her immediately. Bob's whistle cuts the air.

“Boys, behave,” Ben tells them sternly, holding onto Nebbia's hand a little tighter as he pulls her towards him.

“Ah, c'mon, Ben!” Joe slurs, raising his beer bottle. “I thought you brought her here to share!”

His jaw clenches, as does his hand around hers. A little gasp escapes her, but instead of squirming away, she presses closer to his side, away from the leering men. “She's the newest member of our camp, an equal, Joe. If you wanna keep the ability to drink with that dirty mouth of yours, I'd say you shut it right now.”

Joe waves it off and scoffs, but remains silent. All of them do, actually, so he pulls her along, trying to ignore them for now. He eases the tension in his hand and takes a look at the girl next to him, ready to round the corner of the house, when Bill's voice wafts over to them.

“I wish I could take my whores back to camp, that would spare me the ride to –“

A rush of air. A loud crack. A grunt. A fist hitting the middle of his ugly face without hesitation, a deep growl rumbling from Ben's throat. He's left her standing at the corner, having witnessed the trembling of her small body at those words, and with only a few long strides he has reached the men and let his anger out. His hand is throbbing, blood (not his) running down his knuckles. The other man writhes in pain, holding his broken nose.

“What the fuck, Ben?” Bob calls out, attempting to rise from where he sits.

He takes a menacing step towards him, raising his fist. “I dare you,” he hisses through his teeth, eyes narrowed, jaw clenched, fury boiling beneath his skin.

Bob raises his hands and slumps back down. “Alright, alright,” he mumbles.

Joe just stares at him. He throws them each one more dark glare, then turns around, inhaling deeply, his fist clenched by his side. Nebbia waits for him with wide eyes, trembling lips, and as soon as he reaches her, her small hands grab his bloody fist and pull it up for her to look at.

“I'm not hurt,” he growls, but she only looks up at him, cradling his bloody hand between her fingers, her skin so soft and delicate, pale in comparison to his tan.

“I'm sorry,” she whispers, lowering her gaze, her fingertips gently caressing his throbbing knuckles.

He frees his hand from her hold and uses it to grab her chin, making her look up. Her gasp is both scared and surprised. “Do not apologize! Those bastards deserve every punching they get if they call you... if they talk about you like that,” he mutters darkly.

She swallows hard, unable to move away as she stares at him, her body shivering despite the heat around them. He watches her for a moment longer, then lets go of her chin and sighs, wiping his hand on his jeans to get rid of the blood that isn't his. Then he offers the same hand back to her, palm up. She puts her delicate hand onto it, and he closes his fingers gently around it before he pulls her further through the camp.

They reach the large supply tent where the Stacys try to bring order into the chaos of last night's haul. There are shelves stacked with ammunition, medical supplies, match boxes, candles, blankets, other useful things they snatch up whenever they head out. A makeshift wall in the far back holds additional weapons, shotguns, pistols, rifles, cleaning supplies. The two women who look alike except for the hue of their skin and the size of their noses look up, eyes hard, lips pressed together.

“Ladies,” he greets with a bow of his head. They share a look before their eyes move over the girl, up and down, almost as bad as the men have looked at her, but at least the women know when to shut up – but to be fair, both of them are missing parts of their tongues, another similarity they share, so he shouldn't be so quick to judge. If they could talk, they'd call her the same name. Whore. Unwanted. Doesn't belong here.

Ben clears his throat and nods again, always slightly intimidated by their muteness. He pulls the quiet girl along, who seems to shrink even more beside him the more he shows her of the camp and the people inhabiting it. Once they're out of earshot, he leans down to her.

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly.

She chews on her bottom lip. “They all don't want me here, huh?” she whispers.

He sighs and straightens, pushing his free hand through his messy hair. “They all started out as outsiders. Hell, we are all a bunch of outsiders, people pushed out of society, left behind, forgotten, trying to find their place. We came together like this, each of us with a stranger backstory. So once they remember that, they'll welcome you in their midst, too. You are one of us now, do you understand?” he adds and looks at her, squeezing her hand, tempted to grab her face and stroke her cheek, wipe his thumb under her watering eyes.

Her gaze is wide, green orbs shimmering in the dazzling sunlight. A tiny smile grazes her lips, before a frown settles between her brows. “But... you said you're a sort of... democratic bunch, but then you just brought me here without them knowing, without them agreeing, how is that okay?” she whispers, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

He just shakes his head, inhaling deeply. “You're special, sweetheart,” he says, and she frowns deeper. He doesn't say anything more, and she doesn't press him, just looks away, looking more confused than before, with her cheeks a little bit more red.

They continue their way through the camp, the clanging and shuffling of the Stacys organizing stuff in the supply tent echoing after them.

“Also don't take anything the twins do personally. They're... very strange women, sharing the same name, almost the same looks, the same fate. They used to be performers in a traveling circus until the ringmaster decided he had enough of their blabbering and cut their tongues out.”

Nebbia's eyes grow wider when she looks back at him, a shocked tremble rushing through her. He rubs his thumb over the back of her hand.

“We call them the Stacys, by the way,” he says nonchalantly and leads her past the line of tents, nestled against the side of the house. She follows slowly, still battling her reaction. “Those bastards by the fire were Bob, Bill and Joe. Mitch and Ginny you've already met, Milly was the lady by the creek,” he lists, trying to remember who else he should introduce her to. He also doesn't want to overwhelm her with names and people too much.

“Who was the other man at the table? The one next to Mitch?” she asks quietly, looking up at him, seemingly not as overwhelmed as he has thought.

“Mitch's right hand, Steve,” he answers quietly, his eyes wandering ahead in search of the man. Luckily he can't see him. “You should stay clear of him, though.”

“Why?” she asks innocently.

“You know, we're all people trying to start new lives here, forget the past. Well, some of us, him included, have a rather dark past... darker than any of us combined,” he tells her in a hushed voice, leaning a little closer. She holds his gaze curiously, but he can see goosebumps on her bare forearms. “He was a very disturbed fella, might still be, no matter how helpful he's been recently. Just... stay away from him, it'll be fine.” He hopes.

She stops walking, squeezing his hand. “What did he do?” she breathes.

Ben shakes his head, straightening up again. “A story for another time,” he says, his gaze stern.

She bites her lip, but nods, looking down at the ground. He starts moving again, dragging her gently after him. Curious little kitten, you know what curiosity did to you, hm? he thinks, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

They reach the large table again, and it's only Mitch, who sits in the bright sun, still smoking, flicking through a book. Ben has to admit that he owes him, his life, his will to keep going, him being here, but the older man doesn't always make it easy to be around him. His dark mustache twitches when he looks up at them with narrowed eyes.

“So,” he says, leaning back in his chair, staring at Nebbia. “Do you think you can work, girl? Make yourself useful?” he asks her, and Ben feels her flinching slightly at the deep, demanding tone of the other man.

“Yes, sir,” she replies timidly, not meeting Mitch's eyes. “I... I've worked before,” she whispers. “I... did the laundry, I cleaned, I repaired clothes and sheets, I –”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mitch cuts her off with a wave of his hand, the golden rings on his fingers gleaming in the sunlight. “Just do your part, and keep your head down. No trips into town for a while,” he adds, looking up at Ben, his gaze stern.

He suppresses a sigh. “Yes, Mitch,” he grumbles, working his jaw. Next to him, Nebbia squeezes his hand. He looks down at her.

“Does she need a room or a tent?” the older man asks after taking a drag from his cigarette.

“We'll figure it out,” Ben replies, both to him and to her as he meets her curious gaze.

“Ben?” Mitch's voice is a deep gruff grunt, hoarse around the smoke he's exhaling. He meets his eyes. It's just a look they share, but he knows what he's trying to tell him. Keep your head down. Be careful. I know who she is and who you think she is. But she is not her. Words they've shared before. Clenching his jaw, he gives a short nod, then turns away and pulls the girl after him.

Nebbia stumbles slightly, but catches herself before she follows him to the front of the house. There he stops, letting go of her hand to put his own into his pockets. She looks up at him with a frown. “So, where do you wanna start?”

She tilts her head. “Start?”

“Working. Laundry with Milly? Organizing with the Stacys? Cooking with Ginny?” he lists, watching her closely.

“What are you going to do?” she asks, meeting his gaze with a somewhat mischievous glint in her green eyes.

“Tending to the horses,” he says, looking her over with a smirk. “What? You wanna get dirty too?”

“You didn't say that was part of the chores here as well.” She sounds almost pouty.

“I thought you didn't like horses.”

“No, I'm terrified of their heights, but feeding and brushing them or cleaning their saddles doesn't require me to sit on their backs, right?” She takes a step closer to him, despite her very small stature building herself up in front of him. It's adorable. “And I like them. I find them really beautiful. Also, I... hmm, maybe I should stay clear of your people for today, until they get used to my presence...”

He's surprised by her change in demeanor. She was so timid and shy when he showed her around, introduced her to the others, a shrunken little girl too afraid to lift her eyes. But now she stares at him, challenging him, giving him cheek, and it feels refreshing. It reminds him of her.

“Oh and what did you mean by I'll make some money, but not how I think?” she asks, clearly on a roll now.

He raises an eyebrow. “All in due time,” he sighs and turns away, taking a step towards the meadow. She turns too. “You're motivated, huh? I like that, but don't overdo it.” He can see her frown as he looks over his shoulder at her. “Well, come on then, we got a lot of horses to brush!”

Her face lights up immediately as she staggers to follow him, taking quick small steps to catch up to him, a happy smile grazing her full lips. Lips around – He groans, pushing a hand through his hair, then over his eyes as they walk together. His head is spinning, be it from the hangover, the post-heist-high, or from meeting this little gem of a girl.

He's promised her a better life, and he's glad she's away from the brothel, but what if all of that will come around to bite him in the ass? Mitch seems to see where this will go, his words of warning still echoing in his mind. Ginny's also had the same idea. Be good to her. And he wonders who she should stay clear of the most? The three leering degenerates? Steve? Or himself?

Last night he's told himself he wouldn't soil her, keep her innocence, make her feel safe. Treat her like a proper lady. But every time he looks at her flushed cheeks, at those ocean-green eyes, her beautiful lips, he remembers the rest of her, the alabaster skin, the slender body, lean limbs, small breasts, the hint of hair between her legs. The trust she is giving him.

He knows he doesn't deserve it. Because all he wants is to grab her, rip her clothes off and look at her again, bring his lips to hers, to her neck, to her breasts, down her stomach, force her legs open and taste her, feel her, soil her.

She's Keira's kid.

She looks like Keira. Is that why he feels so attracted to her? Despite her age? Despite it all? Is that enough to justify the throbbing of his cock? Or is he just as fucked-up as he's always feared to be?

He has no idea. But what he does know is that he will protect this girl, keep his promises, allow her to have a better life. And maybe, somehow, she feels grateful enough to allow him something else in return. Who knows.

Chapter 2 -- Chapter 4

End notes: A little bit more world building and somewhat vague character introductions, but don't worry, there'll be a lot more plot in the next chapter. A lot more! Get ready!

(Also I apologize for my incredibly creative naming skills... Bob, Bill and Joe, and Steve, yup, and Mitch really has nothing to do with RDR2's Dutch, nope, not at all... at least it wasn't intentional, my mind works in strange ways. But don't worry, these characters don't play that big a role anyway, it's about Ben and Nebbia, remember?)

Picture credits to their respective owners. I don't own anything. I gathered these from all around the Internet. If you see your picture and would like to have it removed, please tell me!

Thank you for reading!

Next chapter on Tuesday!

AO3 -- MASTERLIST -- INSPIRATION POSTS

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ahenvs3000w24 · 8 months

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04: Art and Nature, The Perfect Storm

“Art elicits sympathy, conjures empathy, and these emotions are requisites for a kind, kinned sense of society.” – Jay Griffiths

Art is everchanging; it has adapted yet challenged the world in which it was created. Artists provide a glimpse into their innermost thoughts, passions, and perspectives; often to convey a message. Art is a catalyst for a heightened sense of awareness and feeling that individuals are encouraged to reach on their own (Beck et al., 2018). It is the power of self-realization and emotion that enables art of all forms to leave a lasting impression.

The representation of our natural world through artistic representation is not a new phenomenon. Art is capable of resonating with everyone, regardless of ethnicity, health, and intelligence (Beck et al., 2018). The art form in which a nature interpreter selects to present their information is dependent upon the theme and the intended audience (Beck et al., 2018). As someone with an artistic background, I have been an advocate for education in art. Throughout my childhood, I was exposed to several different workshops and camps that instilled the value of using our natural world to create. Children are untouched by biases and often do not yet hold strong enough opinions to reject information. As a nature interpreter, I would use my knowledge and passion for art to educate the younger population.

I intend to use visual art and photography to interpret the natural world for the younger generation. Between the ages of six and twelve, children experience an accelerated development of their frontal lobe. They begin to understand themselves and their position within the world but are largely untouched by the responsibilities of adulthood. Art is about the feeling and the process; the intellectual component comes with maturity (Hooykaas, 2024). I would want to focus my attention when developing my interpretation of nature on the emotional vulnerability of these children and allow their wonder and imagination to blossom.

I live just outside of the Muskoka area; a region full of natural beauty and opportunity to explore. I live close to the water and have walked many trails near my home. I have a passion for photography and painting with acrylics. My interpretation of nature would involve a combination of the two. The camps in my childhood would have us walk through the small forest nearby and collect specimens that were lying on the ground. We would bring our collection back and were asked to recreate the forest through our unique lenses using paint, glue, and any additional art supplies we required. As I reflect on this exercise, I recognize this was nature interpretation in its purest form. Through experiencing the forest, collecting the natural remains, and reconstructing it into something beautiful, this was a demonstration of the process of beauty and regeneration. I would facilitate something like this for my artistic interpretation of nature.

I interpret the “gift of beauty” in combination with the “gift of passion”. The interpretation of nature that I would provide for the younger generation would encourage the children to appreciate the small things. The beauty of our surroundings is often overlooked. It can also become overwhelmed by the larger picture. Breaking the natural space down to each component teaches us that not everything needs to be overcomplicated. Routinely appreciating the small things will instill a passion to seek out more which is the emotional response all nature interpreters hope to see in their pupil.

I strongly believe that art slows our pace and encourages us to feel. To feel, we simply cannot be passive rather, art requires action, not simply acting on autopilot (van Boeckel, 2015).

References

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: for a better world. Sagamore Venture.

Hooykaas, A. (2024). Unit 4: Nature interpretation through art and planning for “All” scenarios. University of Guelph. https://courselink.uoguelph.ca/d2l/le/content/858004/viewContent/3640018/View

van Boeckel, J. (2015). At the heart of art and earth: an exploration of practices in arts-based environmental education. Environmental Education Research, 21(5), 801–802. https://doi.org/10.1080/13504622.2014.959474

#envs3000 #university #forest #art

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mukelaniot · 1 year

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CULTURAL HUMILITY

Cultural humility is defined as ‘a process of openness, self-awareness, being egoless and incorporating self-reflection and critique after willingly interacting with diverse individuals’. It has been an increasingly important concept in healthcare delivery, as there’s often power imbalances between clients and healthcare providers, especially in cross-cultural interactions. Cultural humility is promoted across health disciplines as it facilitates better and effective engagement between health care providers and clients and reduces power imbalances, resulting in better health outcomes.

While there have been many studies conducted on cultural humility in cross-cultural interactions, not much research has been done on cultural humility on people from the same ethnic group. Some people do not realize that there can be an imbalanced power dynamic between people of the same ethnicity. It could be because of gender difference, a large age gap, or that people are from diverse backgrounds and or generation, meaning their beliefs may not be the same. Or it could be from the perceived hierarchy that having less education means one is inferior to the other.

During these first 2 weeks of prac, without even realizing, I put this concept was put action. I was given a client with the same race, same ethnicity, and the same religion as me, but we have quite a big age difference, as he is old enough to be my grandfather. Upon initial contact, I had to eliminate the potential power imbalance, as it is known in our culture that in any context, the adult is always right and is superior to the young. Luckily, the client did not seem to consider himself superior and did not give me any problems. There was mutual respect between the both of us.

I informed the client about autonomy (the right of patients to make decisions about their medical care without experiencing undue influence from their health care providers), and client-centeredness, about how he has the final say in in decision making during the therapeutic intervention process, to remove the possible perceived hierarchy that patients should always do as told and question nothing.

While I may feel we both behaved appropriately towards one another and the therapeutic experience went well, there is a chance he does not feel the same way, and that is okay. There is still time to do better because if this week taught me anything, it is that despite all I have learnt so far, I still have a lot to learn.

REFERENCES

Singh, H., Sangrar, R., Wijekoon, S., Nekolaichuk, E., Kokorelias, K. M., Nelson, M. L. A., Mirzazada, S., Nguyen, T., Assaf, H., & Colquhoun, H. (2022). Applying “cultural humility” to occupational therapy practice: a scoping review protocol. BMJ Open, 12(7), e063655. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjopen-2022-063655

Foronda, C., Baptiste, D.-L., Reinholdt, M. M., & Ousman, K. (2016). Cultural humility: A concept analysis. Journal of Transcultural Nursing, 27(3), 210–217. https://doi.org/10.1177/1043659615592677

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wornoutmouse · 3 years

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Fun fact: demon slayer starts in 1912 and ends in 1927(or at least that's when the Tashio era ends). Using that math Tanjiro (as long as he kept his health good) would very well be alive today at the ripe age of like 78 if my math is correct since he started as 13 in the series. (My math probably wrong asf)

Power imbalance, power bottom reader, knife play, blood but not blood play...

He hated you.

Your very being irked him more than anything he'd ever experienced in all his centuries of living. You were clumsy, boisterous, and played that arrogant music all throughout your home while walking around half naked. Well in Muzan's opinion you were half naked, he couldn't even begin to describe his disbelief at the trend of exposing skin.

It didn't help that you had that insignificant filth running through your veins. At first he was unsure, after all this was a completely different country than Japan, not to mention your darker skin and coiled hair. But no, he could smell and recognise the Kamado blood running through your veins just as strongly as it had run through all your ancestors.

Completely undiluted.

At the very beginning when you first moved in, you came to his home. Knocking aggressively on his front door already getting off to the wrong start. When he opened it, you slipped past him and walked into his living room barely even saying hello as you put poorly decorated sugar cookies on his obsidian coffee table. "This is a nice place you got here Mj."

Muzan's eyes twitched, that joke had long since gotten old since he moved to America.

Now that you were closer he could definitely smell, the century old stench of rivaling bloodlust simmered just below your onyx skin. At any moment he expected you to attack him in some way or form. "Anyways I'm here to say hello neighbor, my name is Y/n and I'm your new best friend!"

Your happy attitude also agitated him to no end. Even though the knowledge of demons had dwindled down to only a few select families, even basic humans were wary of him as their baser instincts made them aware of his dangerous origins. This fact had long since forced Muzan to only prey on the elderly to survive. You had stayed a bit longer babbling about some nonsense that Muzan never acknowledged as he watched you from a good distance.

"You know you really got to add more to your wardrobe than 1963 suits." You walked from the back of his home, an area that he didn't even notice you wandered to. Finally getting bored, you open his door bidding your farewells.

Just before leaving you stop and with a cheeky grin say, "If you ever need anything just come on over. We Kamado's are known for our kindness."

Since then he'd been on edge around you. The point of relocating was for him to keep a low profile but now it seems he'd have to come face to face with an old nemesis reborn.

Muzan snapped out of his thoughts with a flinch as he pierced his hand with his nail. He watches the dark blood well up from the wound and drip down his wrist. In the end this world had long since lost its hostility dwindling the average human incapable of basic combat. Giving you were no doubt a great descendant, Muzan failed to see you as a true threat.

But one can never be too sure

🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢

You heard a knock on your door, soft and hesitant. "I don't think I'm expecting company." You checked your watch and peered out of a nearby window. It was at least 8 at night, you were braless wearing sweats with a red T-Shirt and on your way to bed. In the back of your mind you visualize your two grand-uncles Inosuke and Zenitsu coming over to make you spectate their fights. For two old dudes they still had enough strength in them to do hip breaking nonsense.

You open the door shocked to see your next door neighbor standing before you. For once he wasn't wearing a suit that cost more than your house. His attire was still expensively dressed but in a more casual sense, that being a black dress shirt and slacks. His sleeves were rolled up displaying his pale skin. "Can I come in?" A dazzling smile you had never seen before practically blinds you as he walks past you into your home.

When Muzan walks in his eyes immediately dart to the clear as day Nichirin Blade sword displayed recklessly on your living room wall above your couch. "You like it?" A hand on his shoulder makes him jump, "Got it from my grandpa, he says it's really special but I feel like he's exaggerating. You know how old people are." Muzan shakes out of his stupor. "I don't quite understand what you mean by that, however I do know that it's much more wise to listen to your elders than ignoring…..It could save your life."

Muzan replicates you and puts a hand on your shoulder gently squeezing. This was it, he'd go in for the kill and it would be over, the amount of blood he'd pump into you would be enough to watch you meet a satisfying end of combustion completely untraceable if the police were to get involved. How he wishes he'd be there when your poor grandfather walks along your remains splattered on every surface in your living room. Unable to do a thing as he's finally in his last stretch of life.

The beauty.

Muzan's finger only twitches in the slightest before pain sparks from his own neck. "The thought of you coming into my own home unprovoked and at night no less, was the most obvious sign one could ask more." You had his hand gripped so tight your veins popped while your other hand held a small pocket knife that burned brighter than any Nichirin sword he'd ever encountered. He didn't understand, he was quick enough to kill even the best of the ancient Hiroshima. So how did a little foreign girl like you get the upper hand?

It was embarrassing and almost laughable if any of his pillars were alive to tell the tale.

You press the blade harder before bringing your other hand to caress Muzan's cheek, "Did you think I'd be just an ignorant descendant of an infamous hero?" You clicked your teeth disappointingly. "How naive, you've really become lazy after all these millennia huh?" You walk forward, pushing Muzan back with seductive strength. He allows you to push him into your couch, I say allow because at any time he could have stopped you.

Muzan is most definitely not holding me at gunpoint right now.

The knife never wavers even as you climb into Muzan's lap, pressing it even closer against his jugular. "You do know getting beheaded will not kill me, and I doubt this petty little kitchen knife will get the job done in the first place." Your lips draw into a smirk and you press the knife closer as you trail it down his chest, "That may be true but it's gonna take one hell of a time for you to grow back." Your hand jerks down, popping his shirt buttons open.

Muzan watches with interest, your eyes light up as more skin becomes exposed. The tones of your dark skin contrast strikingly as you caress his pectoral with the tips of your fingers. "For a 1,000 year old grandpa you look decent." Still threatening his life with your blade, you kiss him. It's deep and carnal. Your lustful desires being made known as you grind in his lap. The flesh of your ass snuggly hotdogs the forming outline of his cock. "I've always wanted to be with a demon. You've had to of become a real freak after living this long!"

When you pull away Muzan's thin lips are pink and a bit swollen. He is out of breath despite needing none, "You have a lot of nerve for a mere human." With your free hand you loosen the belt of his slacks, only standing to pull them off, pleased when Muzan voluntarily raises his hips to aid you.

Don't get him wrong, he was still planning on killing you and ending your wretched bloodline once and for all, he just needed his mind to clear itself. Your scent, your confidence, strung him along like a puppet. His hands grip onto your ass cheeks like a lifeline. Molding them between his fingers, even giving them a shake through your sweats. His nails elongate and puncture the thick fabric as if it was nothing more than a spider web.

Your sweats are tugged off completely leaving your lower half nude. Muzan moves his hands to hold your ass again but your blade politely makes itself known. You are out of breath and clearly flustered. "Watch yourself, demon, I'm the one calling the shots, don't forget that." Muzan bites his tongue with sharp glare. He raises his hands in surrender, "Of course."

Muzan can feel your wetness against his leg and it's driving him insane. "Hey…" red eyes refocus on yours, "You ain't got any diseases do you? And you can't get me pregnant right?" Muzan smirks hands enclosing around your ass despite your protest. "I can, however it will cost a lot more than doing it once." The odds didn't seem in your favor but you were in no position to stand down and grab a condom and Muzan knew it.

You curve the blade towards his chin, "If you are lying and give me some ancient unknown disease or I find out you have superman sperm, I will kill you." Muzan links his lips, "Wasn't that the plan from the beginning or have you had a moment of level headedness?" Your wrist is quick and precise, cutting a thin slash along his jawline., not enough to scar and it barely even bled, but the threat was clear.

You grab Muzan's dick and use your thumb to attack the underside with fast strokes. Said man doesn't react outwardly, the only sign being his eyelids lowering by a fraction. "Were you always this well endowed or did you adjust this part too?" Muzan was not amused by your insinuation. Deciding to once again display the true power imbalance this situation had, he loops his arms underneath your large thighs and lifts you just enough to thrust his cock against your hole.

From there he let's go, making you plop down on his length, making you yelp and allowing him to lean back with a relaxed sigh. You were so warm and tight. Now even though I explained what had happened with great detail, keep in mind that in reality it all happened within a fraction of a second.

Your large and in charge persona was cracking. You gripped Muzan's sides tightly as your pussy spasmed around his girth. "F-Fuck it's too….." you trail off not wanting to give Muzan the credit he was truly due.

It takes a few moments for you to get your bearings all the while Muzan and his dangerous jaw swayed in the crevice of your neck. A viper playing with its prey. The blade is back against his neck once again making his cock twitch. If he were human this would be a dangerous feat. Your grip never slacked nor lessened against his neck, slicing into a growing wound that dropped dark blood down his chest and to his abdomen.

His dick stretched your pussy and made it weap on each downstroke. Muzan's hands grip onto the cheeks of your ass with gritted teeth. Your insides gripped him ever so slightly. Sucking him back in as if he belonged there. He felt used and it felt good. His black ringlets stuck to his face from sweat and his red eyes grew in intensity.

He couldn't see much of your body, hell he could barely even touch. In the back of his mind humorous thoughts such as how he knew Tanjiro would lose his sanity if he knew his granddaughter was being bedded by the man he despised. But the more you bounced, the more you squeezed, the deeper you cut into his neck proved that you were truly the one in charge.

"Oh God you're so deep!" Your deep almond eyes shut themselves with pleasure. Muzan could feel your legs shaking with exertion at the same rhythm your pussy twitched. His balls felt tight after having no action in over a dozen years. "F-Faster." He has no care for your blade, only wanting to cum and feel the sweet ecstasy he knew your creamed pussy would provide. "Come on human, go faster." Muzan locks lips with you, gaze hardened and intent on proving some sort of point.

Tossing the knife you wrap your arms around his neck pulling his head closer. Red eyes target brown ones as his hands take a stronger grip on your ass. He uses his strength to bounce you. The sound of his balls slapping against the curve of your ass is just as disgusting as it is sexy. Your nipples rub against his through your tank-top making you both moan. The feeling blood stains your shirt making you shiver from the cool wetness

The couch you rest on bangs against the wall behind you the faster you both go. Muzan's feet are planted firmly in the ground, his fangs further elongated. He looks feral and it is in this moment where you get a glimpse of the horror many people felt when he took their lives. "Focus little Kamado, you wouldn't want to disappoint me now would you?"

Muzan's hips meet yours, spreading the tempo. Your juices coat his lap before finally you tense up completely into a cramp inducing stance as Muzan impaled you on his cock one last time. "Ahh.." Muzan empties himself within you with a relieved sigh.

Maybe the Kamado bloodline could go on.

#blackreader #black y/n #demon slayer smut #muzan x reader #anime smut #muzan smut #muzan x black reader #demon slayer x black reader

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atlafan · 4 years

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Office Neighbors - Part One

a/n: OKAY! this is my new love, professor!Harry x professor!Y/N. This is a slow burn, so buckle up because it’s going to be a longgggg ride. enjoy! (also reblogs/feedback is super helpful) not proofread

warnings:none yet...I suppose some fluff? slight angst??

words: 20K

masterpost

You were all cozied up in bed, in a cocoon of blankets. Even though it was August, your apartment had central air, and it was glorious. You loved nothing more than practically sleeping in a burrito of blankets year round. It was a new place to go along with your new job.

Y/F/N Y/L/N, Adjunct Professor, Communication Department: that was your new title. You had your master’s degree, and now you could finally move on to get your PhD. Your specialization was social media and the like, but you also had background in rhetoric and film. The few faculty that served on your search committee were quite impressed with the research you had already started conducting. Your main research was about the pros and cons of anonymity online. The school was a perfect fit. You would be teaching a couple of the intro courses for the major, and some special topics courses.

Today was faculty orientation. You would be given yet another tour of the university, go through some technology workshops, and be shown to your office. You were excited because you hadn’t been able to meet all of your faculty yet, and you’d be going to your first faculty meeting towards the end of the day.

You check your phone and see that it’s going to be in the mid 80’s today. You sigh and get up to start your morning routine. Once your face is washed and your teeth are brushed, you rummage through your closet to see what would be the most appropriate thing to wear. A flowy dress, in theory, would be a good idea, but the idea of sweating between your legs didn’t sound all that great. You settle on a pair of emerald green shorts that fall just above your knee, perfectly appropriate length for school. Plus, they were just a cute pair of shorts in general. You pair it with a white short-sleeve blouse, and tuck it into the shorts to show the shape of your body. Next, you needed to tackle your hair. You could leave it down, but sweat and humidity were not your friends. You had gotten into the habit of parting your hair down the middle more, you were twenty-six now it was okay to go with your natural part. You thought it made you look more adult, whatever that meant. So, you part it, and pull up each side to make pig tails, then you create a bun on each side. You looked professional, but fun. Just the vibe you were going for. You only apply a little makeup, in fear of it melting off of you. You slip on a pair of white tennis shoes for comfort, gather your laptop and other things, and head out.

Rolling through Dunkin Donuts, you treat yourself with a vanilla late instead of your usual, it was your first day after all. You’re not feeling too hungry yet, so you don’t get anything to eat. A college habit that just hasn’t died yet: barely eating anything until the late afternoon. You park at the building where your last meeting of the day will be, always thinking ahead. You sip on your coffee and enjoy your stroll across the beautiful campus to your first meeting of the day. There were a few people in the classroom, and you shyly smile and wave as you take a seat.

Policies and procedures are talked about after everyone in the cohort introduces themselves. You notice that you’re the only CM hire, there were three math hires, two for history, one for CS, two for art, and two for CJ. Some seemed to be around your age, and other seemed older. Everyone was friendly enough. You observed everyone’s posture and body language. You couldn’t help it, you were practically trained to read rooms and people.

The campus tour isn’t anything new. This was about the fifth time you had been walked around by some students to show you where things were, but it was nice to get outside for a good walk. You’re given a break for lunch, and you opt to eat outside at one of the open picnic benches. You notice that most people wanted to eat alone. It was a lot of social time, you yourself didn’t mind the break from talking and sharing.

After lunch are the technology workshops, making sure your account was set up and that you knew how to edit your courses in moodle. It wasn’t terribly difficult, but it was something everyone had to do. Luckily, as a first year professor, you wouldn’t be given any advisees. That you were thankful for. You had taught before, of course, and you loved helping students, but you wanted to make sure you had a good handle on the curriculum before telling students what they should be taking for courses.

Around 3PM a student comes to show you to your academic building, and escort you to your new office before your faculty meeting. There’s a bit of chit chat between the two of you before they open the door to the overly hot building. You cough when you first enter from the humidity.

“Don’t worry, it’s only like this for the first couple of weeks.” She says and you nod.

She guides you straight in where the communication lounge was. Wow, an entire lounge, you think to yourself. There were a few couches and three offices on the main level. A flat screen TV projecting student projects across from one of the couches. She takes you down a spiral staircase where there were four other offices, one vacant for you. There were two computer clusters, a projects and screen, and more couches. You already liked that it seemed to be an interactive space for students.

“Looks like you got the one with the window.” She smiles. “Have a nice day.”

“Thank you so much.” You beam at the student that you’ll probably never see again.

The door was open for you, and two sets of keys were sitting on your desk. The office was bare just waiting for your interior design ideas to be splashed all over it. Your desk was L-shaped with two monitors and a laptop plugged into a docking station. At least you didn’t have to wait to be given your school sanctioned computer. You smile when you see that you were given a Mac as requested. You look at your one window and take a picture so you could find curtains for it. You open and close all of drawers just to make sure there was nothing left behind inside the desk. There were two seats on the other side of the desk for what you would assume would be for student meetings. You could get better ones. You also definitely had room for a small couch, a love seat perhaps.

“Well, look at that, I finally got a new neighbor.”

You jump slightly and turn around. There were a couple of reasons that you were slightly started. Whoever it was that was speaking to you had a deep, gravel-like voice, and they had a British accent. Not totally uncommon at a university, but still something you weren’t expecting. You were also started because no one else was downstairs with you. As you turn around, your cheeks flush when you take in the man with the toothy smile before you.

He was wearing a loose pair of jeans with a couple of rips in them, beaten up white sneakers with different color laces, and a light blue t-shirt. You barely have time to take in his tattoos, or the thick rim of his glasses before he speaks again.

“I’m so sorry, did I startle you?”

“Only slightly.” You give him a half smile. “I’m Y/N.” She extends her hand out to him and he takes it, shaking it gently.

“I’m Harry.”

“Ah! Dr. Styles, yeah. You were away when all of my interviews were happening.”

“Yes, I was away at a conference, but I heard great things. And please, just call me Harry. We’re not a very formal group.” He smirks.

“So, your office is the one next to mine?”

“That’s right.” He nods towards it, and you step out to look at his door.

Dr. Harry Styles, PhD was on his door along with a paper with his office hours printed on it.

“You’re lucky you got one with a window right away, I’m surprised no one wanted to snatch it up. The two across from us don’t have windows, but maybe some people don’t really care about that. I happen to enjoy looking out the window to see what’s happening when my eyes need a rest from the screen.”

You nod your head and peep inside his office. He had put his desk in the back corner of the room. So if students were to come see him, his back would be to them and they could easily see whatever he was doing on the computer, but you notice he also has a corner set up with a few chairs and around coffee table. Perhaps he’s able to discuss things easier this way. Many ideas pop into your head about how you might like to set things up.

“There’s a really great consignment shop downtown with quality furniture for cheap. That’s where I got those that table and chairs.”

“Thanks.” You squint at the three diplomas framed one the wall, and a couple of certifications as well. He had a small shelf with a couple of awards too. “What’s your PhD in?”

“At the base level, Media Studies, but my master’s was in Literary Dynamics. I’m a bit of a book worm as you can see.” He points to the bookshelf full of worn books and you smile. “Got my doctorate here, same as you’re doing, and they offered me a tenure position. Been here about six years total now, I love it.”

You think for a moment to try to put together how old he might be. There was a boyishness to his features, but he also had crinkles around his eyes and a few specs of grey in his hair. Then again, so did you. You greyed early, not that anyone would know since you get highlights in your hair.

“I turn thirty-two in February, if that’s what you were wondering.”

“Oh…I wasn’t, um, I-“

“It’s okay.” He chuckles. “Shall we head up to the faculty meeting? They sent me down here to get you.”

“Yeah, let’s get to it.” You quickly grab your laptop and follow him up the spiral staircase, trying not to look at his butt too much.

He leads you down a hall to a room used for meetings. A large table with people sitting around it casually, a few you recognize from your search committee.

“Y/N!” Lisa, the department chair, exclaims. “Glad Harry found you, come in.” Everyone turns their attention towards you and you smile. You sit down, and Harry goes to sit at the other end of the table. “Right, so let’s go round the table to introduce ourselves to Y/N. Let’s tell her what courses we all teach as well. I’m Lisa, obviously, I teach Game Design and Senior Seminar. I used to teach more, but so it goes when you’re the department chair.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Andre, I teach Communication Theory, Digital Media in the New Age, and Journalism.”

“I’m Mateo, good to see you again.” He smiles and you nod. “I teach Tech Comm, Intercultural Communication, and Strategic Communication.”

“I’m Sandra, I teach Global Perspectives in the Media, Film and Video Production Techniques, and basically any other film production courses.” She laughs.

“I’m Harry.” He gives you that same toothy smile. “I teach Communication, Media, and Wellness, Media Effects, Analyzing Screen Media, Literature into Film, and The Craft of Screenwriting.”

“I’m Janette, I teach Philosophy of Communication, Advanced Composition, and Interactive Web Communication.”

“Wonderful, thank you everyone. Don’t worry, Y/N, our admin Lucas will email you all of this info if he hasn’t already.”

“That’s alright, thank you.” She smiles.

“Why don’t you tell everyone what courses you’ll be teaching this fall and spring?”

“Well, this fall I’ll be teaching Communication and Media Studies, Media and Cultural Studies, and Social Media: Technology and Culture. Then in the spring I’ll teach the two intro courses, along with Professional Social Media, and Rhetoric and Semiotics.”

“We’re so happy to have you aboard.” Lisa smiles.

Lisa goes on to explain any policy or curriculum changes. Y/N notices how casual the group is, and also how diverse the group is. It was nice to see.

“Now, I know it’s your first day, and you just moved to the area…feel free to say no, but we’re all headed downtown to the pub for dinner if you’d like to join us.” Lisa says at the end of the meeting.

“That would be great! I haven’t gotten the chance to eat downtown much.”

“Oh, you’ll love the pub.” Sandra says. “Best nachos I’ve ever had.”

You smile and stand with everyone. You notice that everyone just simply walks downtown. You run to your car quickly to drop her bag off, and continues the walk. You all go in and grab a table for seven. You slide into the booth and Harry slides in next to you, followed by Janette and Sandra. Lisa, Mateo, and Andre all sit in the chairs across from you. You weren’t sure if you felt comfortable drinking in front of your colleagues just yet, but you order a vodka-tonic anyways just to be social.

“Sandra’s right, they do have the best nachos here.” Lisa says. “Should we just get a couple of orders of that? We could do one with chicken and one without.”

“I can just pick it off, don’t be silly.” Harry says.

“I, uh , don’t eat meat either, and I can also just pick it off.” You speak up.

“Oh, please.” Lisa scoffs. “We can get one with and one without, no problem.”

“You don’t eat meat?” Harry turns to you slightly.

“Um, no.” He was very close to you, and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. You just met him. You take a sip of your drink so your mouth doesn’t feel so dry. “My doctor told me to cut out red meat, and then I got sick of chicken and stuff, so I just cut it all out.” You shrug.

“Things were sort of the same with me, I just didn’t like how it made me feel after eating it. There’s other ways to get protein. I eat a lot of beans and nuts.”

“Right.” You were curious as to why he was being so open with you.

“Course, I feel like I’m starved half the time, don’t know if that happens to you, but I always keep granola bars in my office if you ever need one.”

“Oh! Um, thank you. Are we allowed to bring mini fridges? I’m really into overnight oats right now, so if I could just leave that stuff in there…”

“We are! It can’t be one of those huge ones though, it’s gotta be one of those ones that looks like a cube.” Harry makes a fake outlines of a box with his fingers. The waitress comes over and takes the orders for the nachos. “Excuse me, love, could I also get a separate order of chicken fingers and fries to go?”

The waitress nods and Harry smiles at her. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Got someone at home who requested it.” He says before turning his attention to the other conversations at the table.

You wondered whom might me home waiting for him. A wife, a girlfriend…boyfriend? Harry wore a lot of rings, and his nails were painted, but a lot of men were doing that these days so you didn’t want to make any assumptions.

“So, Y/N, where’s home for you?” Andre asks.

“Oh, I’m from Boston originally.”

“Wow! And you moved up here to the mountains. Do you miss the hustle and bustle yet?”

“Not yet, I sort of don’t mind the quiet, although, when I first moved I had trouble falling asleep at night. It was almost too quiet.” You laugh. “But I’ve gotten more used to it. I’m in a great little apartment building, nice neighborhood. I think there are some grad students that I’m neighbors with.”

“Do you going hiking at all?” Mateo asks. “There are some great trails around here.”

“I haven’t gone yet, but I’d certainly be willing to give it a go.”

“We usually all go together before the semester starts.” Lisa says. It surprised you at how close everyone seemed. All different people of different ages. “There’s this really easy mountain about twenty minutes from campus with a beautiful view of the lakes region.”

“Well, I’ll certainly give it a go. Just let me know when.” You smile.

Sandra was absolutely right, the nachos were incredible. Lots of layers of chips and cheese, fresh veggies and guacamole, not to mention the sour cream and salsa. Everyone squares up their checks and heads out. Harry grabs his to go order from the bar. The sun was just barely setting, god, you loved August.

“I parked in the same lot as you, mind if I walk back up with you?” Harry asks after you all say goodnight.

“Not at all.” You smile.

“So, how was the first day? Is your brain ready to explode?”

“Only a little. I think if I take in anymore new information today I’ll pop.” Harry chuckles at that.

“I remember my faculty orientation.” He smirks and shakes his head. “I think I wore a suit, if you can believe it.”

“I’m sure you clean up really well.” You say playfully and he rolls his eyes.

“Well, you’re right about that, but it was super embarrassing at the time. No one told me how casual it was.”

“A little initiation ritual perhaps.”

“Maybe.” He looks at her. “I like your little, um, what do you call those.”

“Oh! My buns?”

“Yeah! Didn’t know if you’d still call them that, or poofs, or something.”

“Poof works.” You chuckle. “I wasn’t sure how humid it was going to be so I just did it up like that. They’re nice for keeping pens or pencils in.”

“Brilliant.” He smiles and reaches his car. “Well, I hope you enjoyed your first day. Feel free to email me if you have any questions. I know being new the area and campus can be overwhelming.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” You nod and get into your own car. You take a deep breath as you drive away. “I can do this.” You tell yourself. You enjoyed how friendly everyone was, you could definitely see yourself fitting in with everyone.

Harry gets home soon after he leaves campus, only living about fifteen minutes away. He owned a quaint ranch-style home.

“Andy, I’m home, bud!” He yells out. “Got your dinner.” He walks into the living room and sees his son playing video games. “Please don’t tell me you played all day…”

“Hey, dad.” He pauses the game and takes the to go box from Harry. “No, I didn’t play all day.” He rolls his eyes. “I went to the skate park at with Brandon, and then we swam in his pool, remember?”

“Right, I’ll have to say thanks to his parents.” Harry sits down on the couch and sighs.

“Tired?” Andy asks with his mouth full.

“Yeah, it was just a day full of meetings, then we all had dinner. Being social is draining.” He laughs. “How’s the chicken, good?”

“Mhm.”

“Let me get you some napkins…water?”

“Yes, please.”

Harry nods to his son. Harry usually got to be with his son all summer, but this year Andy asked to stay for the school year. It was a rather large discussion that Harry had to have with him and Andy’s mother, who Harry wasn’t on bad terms with, but he certainly didn’t live the one on one chat.

“I just feel like he didn’t get this idea on his own.” She whispered to him in the kitchen.

“I swear I didn’t put the idea in his head. He just asked me out of the blue if he could be enrolled at the middle school. He’s going into fifth grade, maybe he wants a fresh start. He has good friends here, Paige.”

“He has good friends at home too…” She sighs. “I just…so what, now I only get to see him on weekends? I’m his mother, Harry.”

“And I’m his father.”

“You get him for the entire summer.”

“You know it’s not enough time with him. I miss him a lot during the school year.” He drums his fingers on the kitchen counter. “Do you think…I mean…your boyfriend moved in with you, right? Do you think he feels uncomfortable with the change?”

“I don’t know, when Noah and I spoke with him about it he said he was fine with it. He was used to him sleeping over anyways. He’s knowing him for two years now, it’s not that weird.”

“I didn’t say it was weird, I’m talking about comfort. Maybe he just doesn’t want to share his space. It’s not just Noah that moved in, he has a daughter too…”

“Andy and Rachel get along really well. She’s only a year younger than he is.” She sighs again. “I don’t want him thinking he’s being replaced, Harry. What if he doesn’t want to come back into my life once he’s with you all the time?”

“I don’t think that could happen, I’ll make sure it doesn’t.”

“And you’d be able to handle him all year long?”

“Sure, I’d have to change when I’m offering my classes so I’m home at a reasonable time, but I can make it work.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I could always send him home to you if I can’t be around anyways, like how you do with me.”

“Right.” She looks into the living room where Andy had his headphones in, and then back to Harry. “That’s my little baby in there. How can I let him go?”

“You’re not letting him go, you’re letting him grow up a bit. Why don’t we tell him we’ll see how this year goes, and then we can talk more seriously about custody and all that?”

“Alright, yeah, that seems fair.”

“You only live thirty minutes away, I could always drop him off for dinner sometimes, or-“

“Yeah.” She nods. “Well, um, let’s go talk with him then.”

That conversation happened after the July 4th holiday. Andy went home every other weekend to his mother’s, and Harry always talked with him about how his time with her was. Andy would always say that had a great time. He really did just like his friends better where Harry lived, and he was getting older. Maybe he just wanted to live with his dad.

“Alright.” Harry hands him the napkins and water. “Shall we watch a movie and then get you ready for bed?”

“I’m not a baby.” He scoffs.

“You are though, you’ll always be my baby.”

“Dad.” Andy groans. “Don’t be gross.”

“Can’t help it, you’re too stinkin’ cute.”

“Please stop before I barf up my chicken.”

Harry laughs and switches the TV to Netflix. Andy looked a lot like Harry in that he had curly hair and green eyes. He had his mother’s button nose and freckles. Andy liked dressing in basketball shorts and t-shirts, but he also like using a scrunchie or bandana to keep his hair off his face the way Harry did. It was cute.

“Am I going to mum’s this weekend?”

“You are, my darling.” Harry sips on a beer while lounging on the couch during the movie. “That alright?”

“Course.” He shrugs. “I actually have a new skate trick to show Rachel.”

“Do you to go boarding together?”

“Sometimes. She’s better on her skates, though.” He munches on some popcorn. “I kinda like going there on Friday nights because her and Noah go to temple on Saturday mornings, so mum and I get up late and make breakfast together.”

“Good, I’m glad you get that quality time together. I hope you’re paying attention to the culture that Rachel and Noah are bringing into your life, though. She’ll probably have a Bat Mitzvah someday and you’ll have this big party to go to.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever…I mean…it’s sort of weird that you like Noah…”

“Is it?” Harry sits up. “I’ve got no problem with him. He’s a nice guy, takes care of your mum.”

“That’s just it, I have friends with divorced parents and they-“

“Well, mum and I aren’t divorced, Andy, you know that. We never got married.”

“Even still…”

“We wanted to do right by you can be good co-parents. I’d be a real brat if I was rude to him.”

“How come you and mum never got married?”

Harry nearly chokes on his drink. He clears his throat and pauses the movie. Andy never really asked questions like this. He never even saw Harry and Paige as a couple, he never knew them together.

“Um…well…we were really young when you were born. I was twenty when we found out about you, and I was twenty-one when you born, I was just barely finishing school when you came along. Your mum was a year ahead of me, so luckily she got her degree before you were born.”

“Were you together then?”

“Yeah.” Harry nods. “Mum and I dated for about two years in undergrad, and then…well…we found out about you, and we were nervous, but excited.”

“But you didn’t want to get married?”

“I asked her, but she said no.”

“Why?”

“She thought I only wanted to marry her because she was pregnant.” He sighs. “Things like that sort of get complicated when you’re older. I also had a lot going on for school, and she didn’t want me to put my career on hold, she already had a full time job and all that. We tried to make things work, but we both realized a relationship shouldn’t be made to work because of…a baby. We both love you very much, Andy, make no mistake about that, but mum and I make better friends than a couple, I can assure you.”

“Oh.”

“Do you wish we were together sometimes?”

“Sometimes.” He nods. “But only because I hate going back and forth.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighs. “We live as close to each other as we can.”

“I know.” He furrows his brows. “I just don’t like when Noah acts like he’s my dad because he’s not, you are.”

“True, but you should still be respectful. Rachel lives there full time too, so-“

“I can’t stand that either, honestly.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know…ugh, she was on the phone with one of her friends and she referred to me as her brother. Not even step-brother, brother! I’m not her brother.” He huffs.

“Andy…come here.” His son gets up and sits next to him. Harry puts an arm around him and holds him close. “You’re going through a lot of change right now, huh?”

“I guess.” He looks up at Harry. “I think Noah’s gonna ask mum to marry her…which I guess is nice for her, but I’d rather just be with you.”

“You are with me.”

“Permanently, though. I’ve felt better just going over on the weekends, it’s plenty.”

“Mum and I said we’d see how this year at school goes, and then we could decide. I want you here, but I have to respect what she wants too.” He smiles down at him. “Poor you, having two parents who just love you so much.” He kisses his forehead.

“Blegh!” He wipes the spit from his forehead away. “What is wrong with you?” He gets up and goes back to his own seat.

“What? A father can’t love on his son anymore just because he’s in the double digits?”

“Exactly, press play.”

Harry laughs and shakes his head as he starts the movie back up.

Your semester was off to a great start. You got your office decorated nicely, and you were able to make it a cozy and homey space, which was good because you spent a lot of late nights there. Balancing teaching multiple sections of three different classes while also making time for research was proving to be a little difficult. Sometimes students were hanging out in the lounge while you were working, so you didn’t feel truly alone.

You were on an incredible team. You met bi-weekly with Lisa just for wellness check ins. She knew how overwhelming the first year could be, and she recommended chatting with Harry. He was the last one to go through all of it, so he would have the best tips. Harry was often out of the building by 3PM most days. He held virtual office hours from his home office. You weren’t entirely sure why he always needed to get home so early. Well, you weren’t sure until the answer slapped you in the face.

“And this is my new neighbor, Y/N.” You hear him say as he knocks on your door. “Got a second?”

“Um…sure.” You stand up and see a young boy with Harry.

“Y/N, this is my son, Andy. He had a half day from school today, so he’s hanging out until it’s time to go home.”

“Oh! Hi, Andy. It’s nice to meet you.” You had foolishly assumed the picture of Harry holding a baby on his desk was a nephew or something since he himself looked so young in the photo.

“Nice to meet you too.” He mumbles.

“What grade are you in?”

“Fifth.”

“Oh, so you just started middle school? How’s that going?”

“Okay, I guess.” He shrugs. “Dad, can I go get a snack at the grille?”

“Sure.” Harry fishes for his wallet and hands Andy a ten dollar bill. “Don’t pig out though, I want you to be hungry for dinner.”

“Okay.” He walks away from them and Harry shakes his head with a smile.

“He’s a human disposal right now.”

“I…didn’t know you had a son.” You say awkwardly.

“Yeah! Yikes, have I not mentioned him before now?” You shake your head no. “Guess that means we haven’t spent enough time together then.” You blush slightly and Harry clears his throat, then pushes his glasses up his nose. “He, um, just turned ten in May…sort of had him young.”

“I see.”

“This is his first time being with me during the school year. He wanted to give this school system a try, couldn’t say no to that.”

“Oh…um…so his mom…?” You didn’t want to pry too much. Harry wore a lot of rings so you weren’t sure if he was married or not.

“She lives about thirty minutes away, closer to the lakes. She’s a para at a law office, does well for herself. We were college sweethearts, but it didn’t work out.” He shrugs and you nod. “She’s got a serious boyfriend and he has a daughter a year younger than Andy. I think he felt like his personal space was closing in on him, so he asked to live with me. I usually just get him for the summer when I’m not teaching, it’s been great having him around more.”

“He has your eyes.” You wanted smack your forehead for making such a weird comment.

“He does! One of the first things I noticed about him when they stopped being that weird, dark color babies have when they’re first born.” You simply nod your head. “Well, I’ve taken up a lot of your time…um…let’s plan a lunch or something sometime soon. I’d love to know how your classes are going. I know it can’t be easy teaching the intro courses.”

“I’m doing well with it, actually. I taught a lot of the first-year courses at my previous institution. I’ve just been more bogged down with my research than anything else.”

“I’d like to hear more about that too, if that’s alright. Didn’t get to hear about like everyone else since I was gone during your interviews.”

“Sure, we could do lunch sometime then.” Harry smiles at that.

“Great. You know, we get together to do a monthly game night with the faculty from the English department. It’s in a couple of weeks, I hope you’ll come. A lot of their classes double count within our major, so it would be good for you to meet them.”

“Yeah, just let me know when it is. I enjoyed the hike a couple weeks ago.”

“I was pissed I missed that.” Harry groans. “I had to take Andy-“

“Dad.” Andy comes back, handing Harry his change. He was biting into a BLT.

“Thank you, let’s go into my office, yeah? You’ve got some homework that needs to get done.”

“Fine.” He goes into Harry’s office with a huff.

“Anyways, I’ll let you know when the game night is.”

“Okay, thanks.” You smile at each other and go back to sit down in your office.

He had a kid, a ten-year-old…holy shit. You couldn’t imagine going through your master’s and doctoral program while also raising a child. Good for him, you think. Andy was a pretty cute kid, a mop of curls, just like his dad.

You gave yourself Saturdays off. Saturdays were for sleeping in, doing a quick pilates workout, grocery shopping, laundry and whatever other chores you may have. Saturdays were for curling up on the sofa with a cup of tea and good movie. Saturday nights were for you and Janette, who you have become pretty close with, to go have drinks.

“You need to find someone to bring home with you tonight.” Janette says, as you both begin your second drinks of the evening.

“Oh stop.” You laugh. “I don’t think I have the energy to pretend to be into someone enough to fuck them.” She rolls her eyes at you. “So…what’s this I hear about a game night with the English department?”

“Oh! It’s so much fun. Once a month someone different hosts it. Sometimes we play board games, sometimes it’s card games, one time we even played Heads Up, that was a hoot.” She giggles. “You should definitely come, Lisa’s hosting the next one. Her house is huge and has a beautiful view of the lakes and mountains.”

“I think I might, yeah.”

“Who told you about it? I think Lucas was planning to add you to the email about it.”

“Oh, Harry mentioned it the other day. He said it would be good for me to get to know the other faculty.”

“He’s certainly right about that.”

“I met his son…”

“Andy was in the office! Damn, I try to keep candy in my office for him. He’s so sweet. He was just a little guy when Harry started, can’t believe he’s in middle school.”

“Yeah, he was really polite. Sort of closed off at the same time.”

“Harry seems to think he’s become more self-aware. It’s a big deal for him to want to live with Harry year round.” She sips her drink. “Shouldn’t gossip too much about it though.”

“Right.” You sip your own drink.

“The students seem to like you so far, we’ve all heard good things from our advisees.”

“Really?! That means a lot.”

“Your teaching must speak for itself.”

“Students are always in the downstairs lounge, it’s nice to chat with them sometimes. They always seem to be visiting Harry. Andre and Sandra are down with us too, and they don’t have as many frequent flyers.”

“I know you’re new and all, but I didn’t think you were naïve.” She chuckles.

“What do you mean?”

“Harry perfectly fits the hot teacher trope, Y/N. He’s slightly mysterious with his tattoos and his nail polish, but still totally approachable. He’s dorky, but funny. He’s got a little muscle on him, but he’s not terribly intimidating, plus he’s fucking brilliant. You should sit in on his Literature and Film class.”

“One might think you have a crush on him from the way you speak about him.” You tease her.

“One would have to be straight, my dear.” She winks at you, and you laugh a little too loud. “However, I know an attractive man when I see one. Girls swoon over him all the time. It was really bad when he first started because he was a little closer in age with students, things have calmed down considerably though.”

“He dresses nicely too, I like his style.”

“It’s a little out there, but it works for him.”

“Sometimes I can smell the nail polish remover from my office.” You giggle. “He really hates when they’re chipped, huh?”

“God, you have no idea. Sometimes in the faculty meetings I’ll catch him chipping away at, next time I see him they’re freshly painted again.”

You take an uber home after having four drinks with your friend. You gossiped about some other people, Harry didn’t remain the topic of conversation for long. You get home and strip yourself of your clothes, and wash up before getting into your blanket burrito.

Sundays were for getting a head start on the week. Sometimes you worked from your office at home, but today you forgot something at your office at work, so you decide to just grab all your things and work from your office for the day. You were making some progress on your research and you wanted to keep riding the wave you were on.

You had a tie-dye t-shirt on under your coat that had a picture of Goofy on it, and a pair of jeans on. You didn’t need to be super dressed up for some weekend work. No one was usually in the building anyways. You get some up and put some music on while you do some reading and highlighting.

“Hey! Look who it is.”

“Jesus!” You flinch and look up. “Scared the shit out of me, Harry.”

“Sorry about that.” He rubs the back of his neck. “You’re a tad jumpy.”

“Hard not to be when you’re always coming out of nowhere.” You turn your music down and stand up to walk over to him, crossing your arms over your stupid shirt. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, Andy’s with his mum this weekend, and I needed a change of scenery from the home office, so I thought I’d come here.”

“Oh.”

He looks you up and down and smiles.

“Is Goofy your favorite?”

“Huh?”

“Your shirt.” He points to it. “Personally, I’m partial to Mickey Mouse, but Goofy’s fun.”

“This is a really old shirt, I did laundry yesterday so this is what I was left with.”

“Ah…and I suppose you weren’t expecting to bump into your colleague.”

“Correct.”

“Well, I think it’s proper cute, so no worries, I won’t make fun.” He winks and goes into his own office.

You feel your cheek and it’s considerably warmer than it was from before he got there. You shake your head and return to your seat, opting to put your headphones in to not disturb him. Just as you’re getting going in the zone again, he comes into your office and plops down on one of the reupholstered chairs you had on the other side of your desk.

“Yes?” You ask, taking your headphones out.

“I want you to come observe my wellness class this week.”

“Why?”

“Because I think you could use some time to distress. You don’t teach any 8AM’s, right?”

“No…um…what makes you think I need to distress?”

“You just look like you’re carrying a lot of tension. It’s a great class. We chat, we meditate. Sometimes students fall asleep, but I’ve told them it’s okay. If their bodies are telling them they need sleep, then they should sleep. We do a bit of yoga as well. Plus, I just think it would be good for you to observe me.”

“I was told your literature class would be fun to observe, couldn’t I do that instead?”

“And let you get out of a bit of meditation?” He scoffs. “I don’t think so, sister.” You laugh at that.

“Alright, which day should I come?”

“It’s my Tuesday/Thursday course. You can pick which morning you’d prefer.”

“Anything else?”

“Tell me about your research.”

“Are you just using me to procrastinate?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Hey, what happens between me and the stack of papers I need to grade is none of your business.” You laugh at him again. Harry was funny, no doubt about that. “Come on, just a few minutes, tell me what you’re working on.”

“I am researching anonymity online, the pros and cons, how social media is mixed into it, stuff like that. People carry themselves different on the various social media platforms, trying to show specific versions of themselves, but when you’re able to remain anonymous, you somehow are truly able to be yourself without fear of judgement.”

“So, what are the cons then?”

“Oh, there are tons. There’s the fear of someone finding this anonymous version of yourself and being exposed. Then there are the people that forget there’s someone else behind the screen and send nasty messages to other anonymously.”

“That’s my biggest fear with Andy. He’s been begging me for a smart phone, but I just don’t feel comfortable with that yet.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I told him when he was thirteen we could talk about it.”

“It’s funny, I didn’t get my first phone until I was fifteen, and it was one of those ones that slid open and had a keyboard. Literally had to use the family desktop if I wanted to go on Facebook.”

“Do people even use Facebook anymore? Feel like it’s just forty-year-old wine moms and Home Depot dads.” Harry snorts.

“No one uses it anymore because it’s not fun. It may as well be LinkedIn.” You scoff.

“Well, I’ll certainly be looking forward to reading what you whip up when the time comes.” He smiles.

“Thanks.”

“I’ll let you get back to it…um, feel like grabbing a bite later?”

“If you don’t disturb me for the next two hours I’ll consider getting lunch with you.”

“Oh, I love a challenge.” He grins and stands up, leaving your office.

You smile and shake your head. Perhaps your neighbor was becoming a pretty good friend.

“You’re coming to Lisa’s tonight, right?” Harry asks you as he slings his bag over his shoulder on Friday afternoon.

“I believe so, six, right?”

“Yup! Do you need directions?”

“I have this thing called a smart phone, and get this…it has an app where if I put in an address, it shows me the route!”

“I really hate it when you’re sarcastic with me.” He rolls his eyes. “Get it enough from my son, you know?”

“Will he be joining the fun as well?”

“Nope, he’s with his mum this weekend. I gotta go get him from school and get him all packed up for her.”

“Does she always pick him up?”

“She picks him up on Fridays, and I pick him up on Sundays.” He shrugs. “It just works for us.”

“Makes sense.”

“Right, well, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.” You smile and wave him off.

After knuckling at your eyes, you head home around 4PM. You wanted to shower and freshen up before heading to Lisa’s. It was a beautiful, chilly Fall evening, so you opt for a light sweater and black jeans, and a pair of boots. You run your fingers through your hair, reapply some makeup, and grab the bottle of white you had chilling in your fridge. You plug the address into your phone, and get going.

It was about a twenty-five minute drive. Lisa lived in a neighborhood with a lot of beautiful homes. Her driveway was long and winding, and on top of a hill.

“This must be a bitch in the winter.” You say to yourself. Maybe that was why she was hosting the September game night. There were a couple of other cars there, so you didn’t feel totally awkward. You walk up to the door and ring the bell.

“Y/N!” Lisa exclaims and hugs you. “Come on in, so glad you could make it.”

“Thank you for having me. I brought some wine.” You hand the bottle to her as you step inside.

“Oh, thank you, dear.”

“Shoes on or off?”

“On is perfectly fine, it’s all hardwood.” Lisa leads you inside. “I’ll get this open.”

You wait for her to pour you a glass, and then she leads you into the living room. Sandra and Mateo were already there. You wave hello and grab a seat.

“Y/N, this is Dan, the English department chair, Alice, Joe, and Fred.”

“Hi, it’s nice to formally meet you all.” You stand up and shake a few hands.

Everyone mingles and eats the snacks Lisa puts out. Her husband was quite the co-host. Janette shows up next, and you end up sitting with her. Harry’s the last to arrive. Lisa gets him a glass of red right away. He looked handsome. A tan cardigan over a white t-shirt and a pair of light wash jeans.

“Sorry I’m late everyone, Paige was over an hour late picking Andy up. There was an accident on the highway and she got stuck behind it, it was a whole thing.”

Paige, it was the first time Y/N heard Harry actually say the name of Andy’s mother.

“No worries, H.” Andre says. “Relax, we haven’t even decided on the game yet.”

“Thank god.” Harry plops down next to you on the couch. “Janette, did Y/N tell you she observed my wellness class yesterday?”

“She did, she told me she fell asleep the second you turned the lights off.” She snickers.

“Please, keep talking about me like I’m not even here.” You roll your eyes. Harry and Janette both lean over you so they can pretend to speak closer. “Okay, okay.” You push them both away. “That’s enough, thank you.”

“Alright, everyone, I was thinking we could play charades, yeah?” Lisa announces. “It’ll keep us limber.”

“English vs. CM?” Dan asks.

“You know it.” Lisa grins.

You were pretty good at charades so you weren’t worried. The couple of glasses of wine certainly helped boost your confidence. It was fun to let a little loose with your colleagues. It was some much needed bonding. Harry was quite competitive, which surprised you because he was usually so chill about everything. It was down to the final points, Harry needed to guess the name of your film correctly.

You put up two fingers.

“Second word.” You nod and he licks his lips in concentration You pretend to open a book and write it in it. “Uhhh, book…” He furrows his brows. You look up like as if you’re reading something, and then you pretend to write the book some more. “Notes…notebook, oh! The Notebook!” You tap your finger on your nose and your team cheers. “Ha!” Harry stands up and hugs you. He lets you go and looks back at everyone. “That was exhilarating. Better luck next time.” He says to the English team.

“Wasn’t exactly a difficult film to guess.” Alice says playfully.

“I had zero control over the slip of paper I chose out of that hat.” You grin.

You all help clean up before heading out. You slip your coat on and head outside after saying your goodbyes.

“Y/N?” You hear Harry from behind you. “You’re good to drive, right?”

“Yeah, of course. Wouldn’t get behind the wheel if I wasn’t.”

“Alright.” He smiles. “Just wanted to be sure.” He walks with you outside.

“It would be pretty bad if I got so fucked up I couldn’t drive home from our department chair’s house.”

“Lisa would actually get a pretty good kick out of it.” He smirks. You get to your car and press the button to unlock it. “Well…I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

“Same to you, any big plans while Andy’s gone?”

“Not really, I try to save the fun stuff for while he’s with me.”

“Aw, no hot dates.” You wink at him. Okay, maybe some of the wine was still in your system. He blinks at you for a moment and then he bursts out laughing.

“Right, the ladies are really fighting to knock my door down.” He wipes a tear from under his eye. “Can’t remember the last time I went on a proper date to be honest with you. Not exactly a turn on when you bring someone home and they see kid’s toys hanging around.”

“Oh come on, you’ve totally got the hot single dad thing working for you.” You nudge his shoulder. “Janette I usually go out on Saturday nights for drinks, you should come out tomorrow.”

“Um…which, uh, which bar do you go to?”

“Firefly, little more adult. We don’t really see the college kids there.”

“Sure, yeah, I know that place well. Um, what time?”

“Nine?”

“I’ll be there.” He smiles.

“Great! Goodnight, Harry.”

“Night, Y/N.”

He watches as you get into your car and drive away. It wasn’t until you woke up the next morning that you realize that you essentially asked him out, and that you sort of flirted with him. You text Janette immediately and let her know he may show up.

Jan: Yay! Harry’s so much fun to go drinking with, this’ll be great!

Will it? You think to yourself. It was one thing to have a couple of glasses of wine with colleagues, but you usually got pretty drunk with Janette, always taking an uber to and from the bar. You were a nervous wreck all day, and you weren’t sure why. You were hoping all of your Saturday chores would distract you, but they weren’t.

As you get ready, you decide on a blue dress that showed a tasteful amount of cleavage, pairing it with patterned nylons, and boots. Your hair is down and wavy, and your makeup looks cute, for now. You put on your leather jacket and head out. Well, not before doing a quick shot at home. Your leg bounces the entire time in the uber. Janette is already there at your usual table. She waves you over and you sit down.

“I texted Harry earlier.” She says to you. “Just so he really knew he was invited.”

“I don’t have his number, otherwise I would have. Sorry, I feel like I should have asked first. This is sort of like our girl’s night.”

“Are you kidding?! Like I said earlier, Harry is super fun to drink with.”

After you both guzzle down your first drink, Harry arrives. He’s got a black button up on with the first few buttons undone, exposing the birds on his collar bones. He smiles when he sees the both of you.

“H!” Janette says, getting up to hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hello, love.” He gives her a squeeze and a returned kiss. He looks at you and you give him a shy smile before giving him a side hug. “Thanks again for the invite, haven’t been to this place in a while.” He slides into the stool.

“Oh, of course!” Janette says. “I was excited when Y/N said you were coming.”

“Apparently I need to do more fun things when Andy’s with his mum.” He nudges you.

“What do you usually do when he’s gone?” You ask him.

“I usually clean up the house, stalk up on food, wash his sheets…dad stuff.” He shrugs with a laugh. The waitress comes over and smiles.

“Can I get you started with anything?”

“Rum and coke would be great, and I’ll start a tab.” He hands her his credit card and she nods.

“Nother round for you two?”

“Please!” Janette says.

“Yes.” You say with a smile.

The waitress nods and smiles. She walks away and looks back at Harry, blushing.

“Oh boy.” Janette grins. “I think you may get lucky tonight, H.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Our waitress did a double take.”

“She’s probably, like, ten years younger than I am or something. Not my style.”

“Fair enough.” She shrugs.

“What about you? Any ladies you’re trying to take home?”

“Well, if I weren’t in a long distance relationship, sure.”

“You and Sadie are still together?” He asks almost in shock.

“Of course we are! You would have known if we broke up.”

“Doesn’t it get difficult?” He frowns.

“I really don’t mind. When we’re able to be together it’s nice, but I like having my own space.” Janette turns to you. “Sadie is a photographer, traveling for National Geographic.”

“That’s incredible!”

The waitress brings all of the dinks over and you clink your glasses.

“Alright, what’s the gossip, ladies? Who are we shitting on?”

“Hmm.” Jaette taps her chin. “Perhaps Dan? He’s obviously still in love with Lisa.”

“Still?” Your jaw drops.

“Back in the day,” Harry starts, “he and Lisa were quite the item. She met Arnold at a conference. He’s a chef.”

“Ah, that’s why the food is so good.”

“Mhm, he’s retired now, but at the time she had to make this big choice between the two of them, and she chose Arnold. Built an entire life with him. Dogs, kids, big house, you name it.” Harry explains.

“And Dan’s been married and divorced twice. Lisa’s the one that got away.” Janette sighs. “Course, Lisa’s incredibly oblivious, or she pretends to be. You’d think they were simply best friends.”

“I wonder what made her choose Arnold over Dan.” You say.

“Good dick.” Janette says. “Simple as that.”

“Oh, come on.” You roll your eyes.

“You come on! Are you going to tell me you’d give up good dick?”

“So you’re telling me she was seeing both of them at the same time, and she chose Arnold because he hit it better?”

“That’s what I’m inferring, yes.” She sips her drink. “Getting to come every time you fuck is worth it, don’t you think?”

Harry nearly chokes on his drink from laughing.

“I forgot how nasty you can be, I love it.” He says and looks at you. “So, Y/N, what’s your answer? Is an orgasm reason enough to choose one guy over another?”

“Well, considering that I dated some real fuck when I was in college just so I could get some good dick, I’d have to say yes.” You say, enjoying the look on both of their faces. “I mean, it’s hard to remember how much you can’t stand someone when they’re railing you to completion.”

“Very true.” Janette agrees. “Also, Arnold is a really sweet man, sort of the whole package for her. I don’t think Lisa liked be challenged, and Dan, I heard, would challenge her on everything.”

“I’m usually up for a debate, but I get that. I don’t need to be in control of everything, but agreeable people are better.” You say.

“I wouldn’t say it’s because he’s agreeable.” Harry says, finishing his drink, and gesturing towards the waitress for another. “Arnold is smitten, not just in love, big difference.”

“How so?” You ask.

“When you’re…oh, thank you.” He smiles at the waitress brings him a new drink. “When you’re smitten, you walk around with rose colored glasses, to some that can be a bad thing, but I think when you’re that in love, you should really adore the person you’re with too. Arnold adores Lisa, Dan doesn’t. You can tell by the way they both look at her.”

It was nice discussing things like this with people who also observed people the way you did. It makes you wonder, though, what they may have picked up on about you.

After a few more drinks, you knew you needed to stop when your vision began to get hazy. Harry only had his two drinks since he drove himself. He drank some water as the night went on.

“H, Y/N lives not too far from you, help her save a couple bucks and drive her home, would you?”

“Jan…” You scold her.

“She’s right, I could give you a lift, if you want?”

“Um…well…sure.”

You both say goodnight to Janette, and Harry helps you into his car. He keeps the music low as he pulls out of the bar.

“So, where am I taking you?”

“To The Ledges, do you know where that is?”

“Sure do.” He chuckles. “Lived there myself when I first moved to the area.”

“Really?! It’s a great size place. I love it.”

“Got any pets or anything?”

“Nope, just me, myself, and I.” You grin.

“And you prefer it that way?”

“Well, after living at home my whole life, and then having various roommates over the years, I’d say that I’m quite enjoying living alone.”

“Good for you. I’m glad you’re liking it here so much. The person you replaced was such a twat.” You burst into laughter. “I’m serious! He never came to any of the outings. It was like he didn’t even care that we were trying to get him to engage. The second he got his PhD he left. Good riddance.” Harry scoffs.

“I really like it. It’s a lot different than being at a college in the city. I wasn’t sure how I’d do working in a college town, but I’m really enjoying it. I feel safe, you know? I didn’t always feel safe in the city.”

“I’m sorry, that had to have been difficult.”

“On the late nights it was. I usually had UPD walk me to my car. I don’t really have to do that here. I feel like I gained a lot of independence back.”

Harry pulls up to the apartment building, and parks. He turns the ignition off and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“What are you doing?”

“I was going to walk you to the door…”

“Oh…you don’t have to.”

“I insist.”

“Really, it’s okay. Um, thank you for the ride, it was really nice of you.”

“Thanks for the invite, I had fun.” He smiles.

“Me too.” You smile back and get out of the car.

You hear the car turn back on, and you know he waits to drive off until you’re inside.

“Paige, I get him for Christmas, why are you trying to change things?”

“You usually get him for Christmas because you don’t usually get him for the school year.” She crosses her arms as she stands outside in the frigid early December air.

“But you just got him for Thanksgiving.”

“You don’t celebrate Thanksgiving!”

“I observe!” He takes a deep breath. “His plane ticket is already paid for, he’s coming with me to London like always, and he will be back to you for New Year’s, like always.” He steps closer to her. “He looks forward to seeing my mum and Gem every winter, please don’t take that away from him.”

“It’s just…we’re hosting a Hanukkah party, and Noah really wanted him to be a part of it…”

“Shit.” Harry rubs the back of his neck. “There’s Jewish holidays all the time, couldn’t Andy be a part of the next celebration?”

“Dad! Come on, the Pats game is starting!”

“One second, just saying bye to mum!” He yells to Andy, and looks back at Paige, eyes pleading.

“Alright…he can still go with you.”

“Thank you.” Harry breathes. “His cousins would miss him terribly.”

“I know, I’d feel terrible doing that to him. I’m just trying to balance all of this. I wanna be a good partner to Noah, and somewhat of a mother figure to Rachel, but I don’t want Andy to feel like I’m favoring them over him. He comes first, he always will.”

“I’m sure he knows that.” He puts his hand on her shoulder. “Have a latke for me, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and gives his hand a squeeze before getting back into her car.

Harry heads inside and sits on the couch while Andy sits in his usual spot on the love seat, entranced by the football game.

“What was that all about? I heard shouting.”

“Could barely hear each other over the wind outside. Nothing to worry about. We were just confirming plans for your holiday break.”

“I’m still going to London, right?”

“Of course! No question about it.”

Andy smiles at Harry before returning his attention to the TV. Harry was usually very honest with Andy, but he didn’t need to worry him with any of the drama.

“You survived your first semester, congrats!” Janette says, popping a bottle of champagne as she walks into your office.

“Not over yet, I have finals to grade.”

“Whatever, the kids are gone, that’s something to celebrate.” She nods towards the plastic cups you keep in your office, and you grab two. “Any plans for the holidays? Going home at all?”

“Oh sure. Doing the Hanukkah thing with my folks, and then doing New Year’s in Boston with some friends.”

“Fun!”

“Wait.” Harry says, overhearing, grabbing the bottle for a swig. “You’re Jewish?”

“Yes?” You raise an eyebrow at him and take a sip from your cup.

“Brilliant. Paige’s boyfriend is Jewish, and I think it’s confusing for Andy. He doesn’t much like asking th guy questions, maybe he could talk to you sometime.”

“Sure.” You shrug. “Any plans for the holidays?”

“Yeah, Andy comes home to London for Christmas, and then I send him back for New Year’s with his mum.”

“You send him on the plane alone?”

“I haven’t always, but they let me walk him right to the gate, and he flies first class, so it’s very safe. They let his mum wait at the other gate too. I like to stay home for a few weeks if I can. I’m afraid I’m a bit of a mama’s boy.” He takes another swig of the bottle. “I am not looking forward to grading these papers. I really should just have each class do a presentation, can grade those right on the spot.”

“Tell me about it.” Janette groans. “My Advanced Comp class is going to be the death of me.”

“Well, clearly this champagne is going to keep us all awake enough to get through it.”

The three of you stand there laughing. You were looking forward to the long winter break. It would give you plenty of time to work on your research, and you wouldn’t be disturbed by any students popping in and out of your office, as much as you enjoyed the chats.

It was the beginning of January, there you were, working away in your office. You had a long flowy dress on, for some reason, and your door bursts open.

“Y/N! I’ve traveled across the pond for you!”

“Harry! You’re back.”

“That’s right, darling, I’m back.” He pushes everything off your desk, walks around to your and pulls you close to him. He crashes his mouth to yours.

“Oh, Harry.” You moan.

“Oh, Y/N.” He moans back before laying you on your desk. “I’m going to make you feel so good.” He rips your dress of and kneels in front of you, diving his head between your legs.

You wake up in a cold sweat, panting. Your eyes snap open and you grimace. Your legs feel sweaty, so you kick your blankets off.

“What the fuck?” You say to yourself as you sit up. Harry was attractive, but you never once fantasized about him. You reach between your legs and gasp. “Did I just fucking have a wet dream?!” You lick at your sticky fingers and shake your head in disbelief. “Shower, go shower Y/N.” You were talking to yourself, yes, but it was needed to help you calm down.

You were incredibly embarrassed. Harry was your friend, not someone you wanted to fuck, and certainly not on your desk in your office at work. Most people would be turned off, but doing it in a professional place was a big turn off for you. The idea of getting caught was also not a turn on for you. If you were ever caught you could be fired, and it just wasn’t worth it. Neither was dating a colleague. It wasn’t against the rules or anything, nor was it frowned upon, but dating in the workplace could lead to a lot of problems. You had a PhD on the line. Maybe it was time to just suck it up and go for a one night stand.

You had forgotten all about your dream by the time the January faculty meeting hit. That is, until Harry was the last to walk in. Your face flushes immediately. His hair was a little longer, and he had a bit of scruff that he normally wouldn’t have. He smiles and says hello to a couple of people, and then sits down right next to you.

“Hi.” He whispers with a smile.

“Hello.” You swallow and don’t look at him.

“How was your-“

“Can we get started?” Lisa addresses the group. “Much to go over, we need to start talking about the fall schedule.”

You were grateful for the distraction of the discussion, but you felt Harry’s eyes burn into you every few moments. He had to have known you were acting weird, you wouldn’t fucking look at him. Even if you thought to try, you just couldn’t. Two hours later, and the meeting finally ends. You gather your things quickly and head out, and down to your office. Just as you’re able to take a deep breath, you look up and see Harry standing in your doorway, hands in his pockets, squinting at you.

“Are we good?” He asks.

“Um.” You focus on the space behind him. “Yes, why wouldn’t we be?”

“Because you refuse to look at me. Even now, you’re not really looking at me.” He shifts his weight so he’s stand up normally. “Are you mad because I didn’t reach out over break?”

“What? No! I could care less about that, it wasn’t like I reached out to you.”

“So…what is it then? You make eye contact all the time, it’s not like you to not.”

“I…” You suck both of your lips into your mouth. “It’s nothing, it’s stupid, I’m being stupid.”

“If it’s stupid then just tell me.” He comes in and sits down on your loveseat.

“Harry, please.” You shake your head and sit down in your desk chair.

“Come on, Y/N. Clearly something’s bothering you.”

“Ugh.” You groan and get up to close your door. You sit on the edge of your desk. “I…had a rather odd dream a week or so ago…”

“Okay?”

“And you were in it.” You whisper.

“What was I doing in your dream?” He whispers back.

“That’s just it, I don’t know.” You rest your chin in your palm as you cross your arms over your chest.

“Well I must have done something to make you not even look at me. Did I hurt you, do something scary?”

“No…I suppose I wouldn’t call it scary, but I was certainly disturbed when I woke up.”

“What then?” A smirk grows on his face. “Don’t tell me you had a sex dream or something.” When your face stays the way it is his smile fades. “You had a sex dream about me?” You nod yes. “Where were we?”

“Here.”

“In your office?!”

“Shh!” You swat your hands in his direction. “Do you want the building to hear?”

“You had a dream that we fucked in your office?”

“Well, it wasn’t fucking per say…you sort of…I don’t know…it doesn’t matter.”

“No tell me, let’s talk this through.”

“You wiped everything off my desk, ripped my clothes off, sat me on top, and then…” You wince slightly. “You sort of…got your head between my legs, and then I woke up.” You say the rest of it quickly. “And I was utterly concerned when I woke up because I swear I don’t see you that way, Harry. You’re my friend, just my friend. I forgot all about it, and then I saw you and got all embarrassed again.”

He stands up from his seat and gives you a shy smile.

“It was just a dream, you don’t need to be embarrassed. We’re adults, yeah? Let’s act like it.”

“I just don’t want you thinking I’m some…sex maniac or something.”

“I don’t.”

“Okay…I’m sorry if I worried you during the meeting. It really is good to see you, I’m glad you’re back. We could have lunch soon, I’d love to hear about London.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He smiles, but you can tell it’s fake.

He heads out and goes into his own office, closing the door behind him. For whatever reason, your words hurt him. Just my friend rang through his mind. It wasn’t as though it were a lie, you were just friends, but you made it clear you didn’t want him to be the one between your legs in a dream. At first he was flattered, but now…well, now he just felt sad. Was he not good enough to be the one to get you off? Even if in a dream? He hears a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

You open it slowly.

“I hurt your feelings…”

“A little.” He admits. “Not sure why, though.”

“I just didn’t want you to think I was objectifying you.”

“It was a dream, Y/N, you have zero control over it.”

“But I must have been thinking of you subconsciously, right? Isn’t that how that works?”

“Okay, so maybe you were thinking of me and maybe that got mixed in with…whatever else.”

“I just don’t want you thinking I want to fuck you, that’s all.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” He mumbles.

“You want me to want to fuck you?!”

“Now who’d being loud?!”

“Sorry…”

“It’s just, well, how would you feel if I told you I didn’t want to fuck you, you probably wouldn’t feel too great about yourself.”

“It’s not that you’re not attractive, Harry-“

“This is making it worse.” He runs his hands over his face and looks at you. “It was just a dream, nothing to worry about, okay?”

“Things won’t be weird between us?”

“No.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did in that meeting, then we wouldn’t have needed to talk about it.”

“Did you tell Janette?”

“I resent that, just because I’m close with her doesn’t mean she knows every bit of my business.”

“I just didn’t know if I should be expecting some teasing from her.”

“No, none, and you better not tease me either.”

“I won’t.” He smiles. “London was good by the way…”

“Good, I’m glad.” You smile at him. “Talk later?”

“Yeah.”

“Not that I’m not happy to be out with the two of you, but why are the three of us out to dinner?” Andy asks.

“Mum and I thought it would be nice to see what you wanted to do for your February vacation. Usually you come see me and we go skiing, but mum knows how to ski too-“

“You’re canceling our trip?!”

“No! We were just thinking mum could take you this year.”

“But it’s your cabin.”

“And I don’t mind sharing.”

“Andy…I thought it would be nice for the four of us to go together. Noah knows how to snowboard, and Rachel wants to take a skiing lesson.”

“Great, so now this going to be a huge family trip? I don’t wanna do that, Mum.” Andy groans.

“Andy.” Harry sighs. “I think Mum and I have been very accommodating to you this year. Could you please just try to help us out a little? Do you know how many kids would kill to have their parents take them on a ski trip for their breaks?”

“I’m not trying to be ungrateful, I’m sorry.” He looks down at his plate and then back up to Harry. “Can’t you still come? The house is big enough.”

“It’s not a bad idea, Har.” Paige says to him and his eyes widen.

“Would Noah and Rachel feel comfortable with that? I wouldn’t want to overstep…”

“I’ll talk to them, I can’t see either of them feeling weird about it. She refers to you as Uncle Harry as it is, and it’s your cabin, I don’t think Noah would care.”

“Would you be alright with it?”

“Sure.” She shrugs. “There’s that spare room on the other end of the house, so you could have your own space and the kids could stay in the bunk room.”

“Wait, so this is happening?” Andy perks up. “You’d really come, Dad?”

“Yeah, if it’s not weird for anyone, I’m in.”

Andy gets up from the table and moves to hug both Harry and Paige, both of them looking at each other surprised. They give each other mental high fives for being able to figure things out.

“I’m really excited now.” Andy says as he sits back down.

“Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way…” Paige grins and looks back at one of the waitresses, giving her a nod. Happy birthday starts being sung throughout the restaurant.

“Oh my god.” Harry closes his eyes and groans. “This dinner wasn’t about me…”

“Nonsense.” She chuckles. “How often do we all get to celebrate together?”

A small cake with candles is brought over in front of Harry. The singing continues and he feels thoroughly embarrassed.

“Wanna help me blow ‘em out?” He asks Andy.

“Yeah!” He leans over and blows out the candles and the restaurant claps.

Harry looks at Paige and shakes his head. She laughs and thanks the waitresses.

“Andy, go get in Dad’s lap, I’ll take your picture together. I’ve got your gift for him in the car too, I’ll go get it.” Andy crawls into Harry’s lap, and Paige uses Harry’s phone to snap the photo. She beams when she looks at it. “You should get this one printed, it’s adorable.” She gets up and leaves to go get the gifts.

“Did you know about all this?” He says to Andy giving him a squeeze before letting him go.

“She just told me we were meeting you for dinner instead of going straight to your place.” He shrugs.

Paige returns shortly with a few cards and bags.

“Alright, this is from Rachel and Noah.”

“They didn’t have to get me anything…”

“They insisted!”

Harry takes the card out and smiles. Rachel had clearly drawn him a picture, it was cute. His smile grows wider when he takes a nail kit out of the small bag.

“I was due for one of these, I’ll have to text Noah a thank you.” Harry opens the next bag and sees a card from Andy that he also drew. In the bag was a new set of pocket squares for his suits, that he desperately needed, some bandanas, scrunchies, and a gift card to his favorite clothing store. “Went all out son, thank you.”

“Thought your…what was the word you used, Mum?”

“Wardrobe.” She chuckles.

“Yeah! Thought your wardrobe could use an update.”

“Should I be offended?” He says, raising an eyebrow.

“I think you should be happy your son has your keen eye for fashion.” She slides another card over. “That one’s from me.”

“You’ve done enough.” He says before leaning over to kiss the top of Andy’s head.

“Just open it.”

Harry rolls his eyes and opens the card. He starts laughing. There was some joke about being close co-parents, and a gift card to one of his favorite restaurants.

“Thank you.”

“More than welcome.”

Andy hugs Paige goodbye in the parking lot before hopping in the backseat of Harry’s car.

“Were you surprised, Dad?”

“Very! Thank you again for the gifts, it was very thoughtful of you.”

“I’m more excited about going skiing now.”

“Sorry if we scared you. I just wanna make sure Mum gets to see you.”

“I know.” He sighs. “Hey, Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“How come Mum has Noah, but you don’t have anyone?”

“I have you.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I just…I don’t know, I don’t have much time for dating.”

“What do you do on the weekends when I’m not with you?”

“Sometimes I see friends, or I catch up on some grading, I clean up too. You’re gonna start doing more chores, that would be the ultimate birthday gift.”

“It’s okay if you wanna date, you know…”

“I don’t exactly need your permission.” He chuckles.

“I know…but I want you to know I’m okay with it.”

“Well, I appreciate that, thanks.”

When Harry walks into his office Monday morning he’s surprised to see a vase full of flowers. There’s a small card with it:

Happy Birthday, H!

- Y/N

Harry smiles to himself and smells the flowers, he couldn’t believe you remembered. He only mentioned it once when his birthday was. Thirty-two was off to a great start. He hangs his jacket up and gets his computer set up. His first class wasn’t until 9AM, so he had some time to prep and wake up a bit more before heading to the lecture hall. He sees you walk by on your way to your office.

“Oh! You’re here!” You had two coffees in your hands. “My gift wasn’t complete yet.” You walk in and hand him his coffee. “Black coffee.” You smile.

“Thank you, the flowers are lovely.”

“Not that I thought you needed more plants in here.” You joke. Harry had a fuck ton of plants in his office windowsill.

“Well excuse me for enjoying nature.” He scoffs, and takes a sip of his coffee. You sit down on the couch in his office.

“Did you have a good weekend?”

“I did, Paige and I took Andy out to dinner to talk about his February break, and it turned into a little surprise birthday thing, it was nice. Can’t remember the last time we did something like that as a family. I mean, we have shared birthday parties for him and stuff, but I think he enjoys when it’s just the three of us.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…did he ever know the two of you as a couple?”

“No.” Harry sighs. “I think he was almost two when she and I called it quits. Now look at us, we’re all going on a ski trip together, including her boyfriend and his daughter.”

“That won’t be weird?”

“Not really, I’ve known Noah a while.”

“How long have they been together?”

“Well, they’ve been a couple for almost three years, but they were friends beforehand. He’s one of the lawyers at the office she works at. He came on, like, a year after she and I split, they were friends for a while, and I think once he knew she and I weren’t getting back together he made his move.” Harry shrugs. “No skin off my nose, I just wanted her to be happy. His daughter Rachel is as cute as a button too.” He takes another sip of his coffee. “Poor thing, her mum died in a car accident when she was really little. Paige is a great mum, so it was a good fit for everyone I think. The only thing I don’t love is that Noah is, like, almost forty.”

“How old is Paige?”

“Almost thirty-four, so it’s not super weird, but…I think that’s another reason why he waited to ask her out, you know?”

“I’m surprised he doesn’t have his own cabin to take her too.”

“Nope, just a massive house on the lake.” Harry chuckles and looks at his flowers again. “Thank you again for these, it was a nice surprise.”

“Oh, don’t mention it.” She sips her own coffee and gets up to go to her own office.

“How’d you know I’d like these?”

“Everyone likes getting flowers, Harry.” She smiles and leaves.

Harry had cancelled his classes during the week of Andy’s February break like he always did. He had forum posts for them to work in in his absence. Going to the cabin wasn’t ask awkward as he thought, and it was good bonding for Rachel and Andy. Harry, Noah, and Paige could hear the two of them giggling as they watched movies at night, it was sweet. Harry mostly stuck with skiing with Andy during the day, and he and Paige took him for a run or two as well. As Andy got older co-parenting got easier, for whatever reason. Any lingering feelings between Harry and Paige had simply fizzled into a normal friendship. There was no malice between them which was good for Andy to see.

“Uncle Harry?” Rachel asks one night at dinner.

“Yes, love?”

“How come you have an accent, but Andy doesn’t?”

“Because Andy wasn’t born and raised in a country where people sound like me. Although sometimes you sound like me when you’ve been around me a lot.” Harry looks at Andy.

“My friends tease me for how I say pasta sometimes.” He chuckles. “I say that like you.”

“It’s true! You say taco like Dad too. It’s pretty funny.”

“Well, those are my two favorite foods so it makes sense.”

“How come you have so many tattoos?” Rachel asks.

“Honey, tattoos can be really personal.” Noah explains.

“It’s alright, I got a lot of them when I was younger. Think my last one was when Andy was born, got his initials my forearm.” He extends his arm out.

“Harry.” Paige clears her throat, nodding towards his mermaid tattoo and shakes her head no.

“Oop! Sorry.” He blushes. “Sometimes I forget she’s there.” He chuckles.

“Can we paint nails after dinner, Uncle Harry?” Rachel pleads.

“Sure! Brought that nail kit you and Dad so nicely got for me.”

“Yay! It’s okay, right, Daddy?”

“Of course, princess.” Noah says lovingly towards his daughter.

After dinner, Harry sits with Rachel at the kitchen table, to not make a mess, while Paige, Noah, and Andy sit in the living room watching TV. On the outside looking in the scene may be odd, but this was working well for all of them. Andy was having a good time and that was all Harry cared about.

It was a Thursday night, you both swiped right, and you met him at a bar. After a few drinks you climbed into the backseat of his car and before you knew it you were bouncing up and down on his dick while he pressed hot kisses to your neck. His name was Gabriel, and he was just what you needed right now. Or he would have been if he had been able to last a moment longer. You were so close, and he came into the condom before you had a chance to have your own release. He didn’t even ask if you got yours, he just kissed your cheek and lifted you off him.

“Care to take this back to my place?” He says.

“Think I’ve had enough for one night, thanks.” You say as you button your pants back up.

“Let me at least drive you home.”

“No, that’s okay, I can take an uber.” You get out of his car and slam the door shut. He gets out and looks at you, you turn around and look at him.

“Another time?”

“No, I don’t think so.” You say bluntly and his face falls.

“Thought we just had a nice time.”

“You had a nice time because you got to finish.” You huff as you fix your jacket. You take your phone out and order your ride.

“Thought you did, my bad.”

“Right.” The car pulls up, and you get in.

This is why you hated doing things like this. Men on these dating apps just wanted to get theirs. They just wanted a place to stick it and they didn’t care if you were left satisfied or not. You take a nice, long shower when you get back, scrubbing the smell of Gabriel away from you. You grimace when you see the kiss mark he left on your collar bone. Luckily a shirt and scarf would cover it, and it didn’t look like it would last longer than a couple of days anyways.

“Well, were you being vocal about what you needed?” Janette asks you as she sits on the edge of your desk Monday morning.

“I said things like right there or like that…he didn’t even warn me that he was coming, he just did. Then he wanted me to come back to his place with him…”

“Maybe he would have put on a better show for you.”

“The previews certainly didn’t leave me wanting to see more.”

“Preview for what.” Harry says, peeping his head in. He had a slight tan from skiing, and it was sort of cute.

“Y/N saw a really bad preview for this movie about this loser, that’s all.” Janette says. “How was your week away?”

“Actually, not too bad. I think it was good for us to all do something together. Andy had a great time, that’s all I cared about. He even agreed to be with his mum for the entire April vacation.”

“Oh? What’s she going to take him to do?” You ask.

“They’re gonna go to New York to see some shows, I thought it was a great idea. It’ll be good for him to get some real culture.”

“And that’s not a trip you wanted to join in on?” Janette smirks.

“Hmm, large cabin where I have my own space or cramped hotel room?” He weighs his option. “I’ll take the bitter cold and the cabin, thanks.”

“What do you think you’ll do while he’s away?” You ask.

“No idea, I’ve got time to figure it out. Honestly, it’s perfect timing because that’s right during advising weeks so I’ll actually be able to help my students without him sitting in the corner complaining that he’s bored.” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t what’s gonna turn my hair grey first, him or the college students.”

“Oh please.” Janette groans. “Men look so much better with a little grey, makes you look distinguished, it’s us who look like old crones when we let our greys out. I don’t wanna hear it.” She shakes her head and looks at her watch. “Gotta get ready for my next class, so you later.”

“Is it true?”

“What?”

“Do men look better with a little grey.” He runs a hand through his hair.

“Depends on the guy, I think. I mean, I’m twenty-six so a little grey wouldn’t scare me away, but I’m not exactly looking for a silver fox.” You laugh and so does he.

“I missed your sense of humor last week. As good of a time it was, I felt like I had to be very careful about the jokes I cracked.”

“Well, no need for a filter here.”

Harry nods and goes into his own office. He thinks for a moment and then peeps his head back into yours.

“So, what movie preview did you see that you didn’t like?”

“What?”

“When I first came in, you and Jan were talking about-“

“Oh! Um, it was so bad I don’t even remember the name.” You tug slightly at your scarf out of nerves.

“Too bad, I could’ve searched it and had a good laugh.” He shrugs and leaves again.

Sometimes you wondered what Harry’s dating life was like, not that it was any of your business. He had mentioned a couple of times he didn’t make a lot of time for it, but what about one night stands? Did he make sure women got theirs when he was with them?

“I’m going to look like a fucking idiot compared to all of you.” You pout as you get your robe and hood on.

“You will not. Sort of miss the master’s robe, honestly, they’ve basically got pockets. You’ll have your doctoral one soon enough.” Harry says, putting on his own robes.

“I can never get this thing right, could you help me?”

“Of course.” He steps behind you and adjusts the blue hood for you.

“Do I need the cap? It’s just an honor’s ceremony.”

“You certainly do, and get used to it. This is one of three times a year you’ll need to put this on.”

“Three?”

“Grad commencement and undergrad commencement are separate ceremonies.”

“And we have to go to both?”

“We do.” He sighs. “You’re also not the only professor on this campus that isn’t a PhD yet, so don’t get down on yourself, yeah? You’re working towards it.” You turn towards him and his hands place gently on your shoulders.

“Thanks, Har.”

He smiles at the nickname and lets go of you. You and the other CM professors head over to the CM Honors Inductee Ceremony. It was a nice event for the honors students within the major. As soon as it ends you rip your cap off. You didn’t enjoy wearing it at all. You mingle with a few parents and take pictures with some of the students that wanted you in their photos.

“Y/N?” One of your students, Kayla, says.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering…for our final assignment, instead of writing you a paper about signs, could I make you a video instead?” She was in your Rhetoric and Semiotics class.

“Hmm, I think that could be really interesting. What would a video entail?”

“Well, I thought I could go to the grocery store and show unwritten rules, like how someone will put a divider down on the belt without having to be asked, or how when you go up to the deli you just grab a ticket, how branding works, stuff like that.”

“As long as you still send me a references page I think that could be fine. Of course, I’d have to show it to the rest of the class.”

“Deal.” She smiles. “Thanks.” You nod and then she walks away.

You head back to your office to hang your robe and hood up in your closet. You grab your back and smack right into your Harry.

“Jesus.” You say and back away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even see you.”

“No, that was me, I was walking too fast.” He unzips his robe and hangs it up same as you in his own closet.

“Why were you in such a hurry?”

“Single mum at the ceremony got a little too liberal with the hugging, had to get out of there.” He chuckles. “You hungry?”

“I could eat.”

“Wanna go down to the pub? I don’t have Andy’s still in New York…”

“Sure! That sounds great, actually. Let me just drop all this off in my car.” He nods and you both walk down to the parking lot before walking the rest of the way to the pub.

You both sit down at the bar and order drinks. You both end up getting Mediterranean wraps, not feeling quite hungry enough for nachos this time around.

“Any summer plans yet? I know it’s early, but-“

“Paige and I need to sit down with Andy to figure all that out. He got to stay with me all year, so it would be make sense for him to be with her for the summer, but I have a feeling he won’t like that. School gets out in June for him so I’ve got some time…but I have a feeling it’s not going to be easy.”

“Why do you think he wants to be with you so much more?”

“I just think he’s at an age where maybe he feels more comfortable being with me. He’ll be eleven soon, changes are starting to happen.” He chuckles. “Maybe Paige and I could split up the summer or something.”

“How have his grades been? Wasn’t that part of the deal?”

“His marks have been great, he’s doing well. He has some great friends and he loves his teachers. He really enjoyed playing basketball this winter in the town league too.”

“Not that I’m an expert on custody agreements, but couldn’t you do what you’re doing now? Wednesdays and every other weekend with Paige, and the rest of the time with you?”

“He hates the back and forth in the summer, that’s why we agreed on summers with me. I mean, she still sees him in the summer, obviously, but he usually doesn’t have to go every other weekend. We’ll see.” He sighs. “We try to give him what he wants to not make waves, but at the end of the day we’re the parents and he’s the child and what we say goes.” He finishes off his drink and asks for another. “Need a refill?”

“Sure, I could probably handle two.” You shrug.

Two turned into three, then, four, and finally five. The sun had gone down and it was dark outside. You two had split a chocolate lava cake. The bar was starting to fill with college students.

“Holy shit, it’s almost ten!” You say. “Should probably go before some of these kids try to buy me a drink for a passing grade.” Harry laughs at that and agrees. You split the bill, and nearly lose your balance as you hop off the bar stool, clutching as his bicep.

“Wanna split an uber? I can’t drive, and I don’t think you can either.” He chuckles.

“Yeah, good idea. I’ll order it.”

“No, I’ve got it.” He takes his phone out as you both head outside. The car pulls up after a couple of minutes and you both get in. “We’ll drop you off first.”

“Alright.” You smile. “This was fun tonight. I like when we get to hang out.”

“Me too.” He smiles at you. “Can’t believe your first year is almost done.”

“I know, it’s really flown by.” You crane your neck from side to side and sigh. “Maybe now that I know the area better I’ll feel more comfortable trying to really meet someone.”

“Meet someone for what?” You look up at him, making a face as if the answer is obvious. “Oh! That’s cute you think you have time for a relationship.” He laughs.

“Excuse me?”

“Y/N, you spend all your free time on your research.”

“I just spent some free time with you, didn’t I? Janette and I go out, and-“

“Janette travels with Sadie in the summers.”

“Guess that leaves me stuck with you then.” You nudge him. “Actually, I’m hoping to go to Boston for a bit, visit friends and family. I’m hoping to get to the beach too. I love summer.”

“You should come hiking with me. Despite the black flies, May is great because it’s not humid yet.”

“Might have to take you up on that, I really enjoyed it this fall.” The car pulls up in front of your house. “Have a good night, Harry.”

“You too.” You both reach over and hug each other. “See you Monday.”

“See you Monday.” You smile and get out.

Once the school year was over, you sat with Lisa and went over your course evaluations. Overall you did really well, and she reaffirmed how happy she was that she hired you. She wishes you a happy summer, and that’s about it. You ask if you’re allowed to use your office in the summer, and she says yes but it gets really hot so it’s not as great as you may think.

Saturday night as you’re having your last girl’s night with Janette you get a text.

Harry: Hey! Know it’s last minute, but I’m taking Andy up Rattlesnake tomorrow morning, care to join?

Y/N: sure! As long as he doesn’t mind…

Harry: got his permission already, we’re all set ;)

You bite your bottom lip and smile, and Janette peaks over your shoulder to see what you could be smiling at.

“God, what a gift it would be if I come back in the fall and you two are dating.”

“Oh, stop.” You nudge her. “We’re friends.”

“Would it be bad to be more?”

“I don’t really think it’s a good idea to go out with someone you work with…”

“Good luck finding anyone else who’s decent around here then.”

“I could meet someone in Boston, do the long distance thing.”

“That gets old.”

“You’re doing it!”

“Yeah, but I’m more of a free spirit. Sadie and I don’t care about marriage or kids or a house in the hills. You, my sweet friend, would like all of those things.”

“True…” You finish your drink. “Well, if I don’t want to puke on this hike tomorrow I should probably get going.” You both stand and hug and kiss and wish each other fantastic summers.

You get a restful night’s sleep, and get yourself ready in the morning. You had invested in a pair of hiking boots in the fall, so you were feeling prepared. You put on a pair of spandex shorts, and put on some mesh shorts over those. You opt for a sweat resistant short sleeve shirt, and pull your ponytail through a baseball cap. You get everything in your small pack that you’ll need: sunglasses, sunscreen, water bottle, granola bar, rag, and bug spray. You drive out to the trail and park, lathering your arms and legs with sunscreen. You see Harry’s car pull up, and Andy hops out, bandana and clip keeping his hair back, just like Harry’s. Harry had a sleeveless shirt on and you could really see the definition in his shoulder muscles. You put your sunglasses on and head over to them.

“Morning, boys.” You smile.

“Morning.” Harry smiles back.

“Hi, Y/N.” Andy mumbles shyly.

“Hi, Andy. Dad told me you’re doing well in school. Bet you’re about ready to be done, huh?”

“Yeah, only a few more weeks.”

“Can’t believe he’s going into sixth grade. Makin’ me feel old.”

“You are old.” Andy giggles.

“Mhm, thanks.” Harry rolls his eyes. “Let’s get going, shall we?”

Andy walks a few paces ahead of you and Harry.

“His birthday is soon, yeah?”

“Yeah, next weekend, actually…um…Paige is hosting his party this year.” Andy looks back at Harry making a face, and Harry makes a face back at him.

“That’ll be fun.” You say, not noticing the exchange as you look at the various trees surrounding you.

“Yeah…it will be. Um…it’s Saturday afternoon…”

“Weather looking good?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great. Probably still cold to swim at the lake, though, right?”

“Yeah, but the kids will still have a water balloon fight.”

“Dad, just ask her!” Andy groans as he turns around again.

“Ask me what?”

“He wants you to go with him to the party.”

“Andy!” Harry snaps at him. “Keep walking.”

Andy rolls his eyes and continues to walk ahead of you.

“Is that true, you want me to come?”

“Is that weird?”

“Not really.” You shrug. “Although, I’d only know you and Andy.” You chuckle.

“See…it’s just…Paige’s parents will be there, and that’s fine, but Noah’s parents are coming too, and it would be nice to have a buffer other than my son. He’ll be off playing games and eating junk good, I don’t want him to think he needs to babysit me…”

“I totally get it. I don’t think I have plans, I could go for a little while.”

“Really? I’m not asking too much?”

“Not at all, what are friends for?” You smile and he smiles back.

You walk a few paces ahead of Harry, but still behind Andy, giving Harry the perfect view of your bum in your shorts. He wasn’t staring, but he certainly wasn’t not looking. When you get up to the top your jaw drops. The view of the mountains and the lakes were even better in the late spring. You snap a few photos, taking one of Harry and Andy, Harry taking one of you looking out, and then you all sit down for some water and snacks.

“Andy, do you enjoy hiking with your Dad?”

“Yeah, it’s a lot of fun. We go a lot over the summer.”

“Andy’s hiked two of the 4,000 footers, hoping to get a couple more done this summer.”

“Wow! That’s incredible.”

“You should come with us, Y/N. We’re going to camp overnight at one of them.”

“Oh, you don’t wanna go camping with me, I’m a real snob. I need running water and indoor plumbing.”

“It has that.” Harry says, taking a sip of his water. “There’s bathroom, no shower or anything, but working toilets. You bring all your own camping gear. It’s pretty cool.”

“I’ll consider it. Think I should probably go on hikes that are longer than a mile up.” You laugh.

“You guys can do during the week now that school’s over, right?” Andy says.

“I wouldn’t want to exclude you, Andy.” You smile.

“Don’t worry about me.” He crunches down on his granola bar. He shares another look with Harry, but again it goes unnoticed by you, too busy looking out at the beauty of the mountains and lakes.

You all hike down the mountain in not time and say your goodbyes. Harry tells you he’ll text you with more details about the party later in the week.

“I told you she’d say yes.” Andy says from the backseat of the car.

“I wish you had let me work up to it a little more.”

“You were taking too long. Sometimes you just need to pull the trigger, Dad.”

“Is that so?” Harry laughs. “Things are a little more complicated at my age. Sort of awkward asking a colleague out on a date.”

“If you two are friends does that make it a date?”

“Well, she’ll be attending with me, so that makes her my date.”

“Does that mean you’ll kiss her goodnight?”

“Andy!” Harry looks back for a moment and then gets his eyes back on the road. “No, I’m not going to kiss her. You heard her, what are friends for, that’s all she sees me as.” He sighs to himself.

“That’s why you need to step up your game.”

“Son, do me a favor?”

“Yeah?”

“Just, shut up for the rest of the drive home.”

Andy bursts out laughing, but does as Harry asks, knowing he’s being a bit annoying.

It was a beautiful day on Saturday, but you were worried about being cold out by the water, so you opt for a pair of high-waist jean capris that flare a bit at the bottom. You find a sleeveless white blouse and pair it with a blue cardigan. You put your hair up in your two buns, and throw on a pair of wedges.

Harry: I’m outside

“Shit.” You say, just finishing your makeup. You run around, grabbing your purse, and the box you had wrapped for Andy’s gift, and head out.

You open the passenger seat and get settled, smiling at Harry.

“You didn’t have to get him anything.”

“I know, it’s just a new basketball. I saw it at WalMart when I was picking up a card. I hate showing up to these things empty handed. What did you get him?”

“A new bike.” He grins. “It’s in his mum’s garage already.”

“Oh! He’ll be so excited. He skateboard too right?”

“Yeah, I really don’t know where he gets his coordination from. Other than skiing I’m pretty clumsy.”

“Don’t you go to a boxing gym?”

“Yeah, and I look like a proper oaf.” He laughs and looks at you. “You look nice by the way. Your outfits are always so put together.”

“Oh, um, thanks.” You blush slightly. You wanted to tell him that you did your hair the way you did because you know he sort of likes it, but you thought that might be a weird thing to say. “Does, um, Paige know you’re bringing me?”

“She does.” Harry nods. “You’re not, like, nervous to meet her are you?”

“No.” You scoff. “Why would I be?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “What did you say to her about me?”

“Well, before I got a chance to say anything last night when she picked Andy up, he spilled the beans.” He rolls his eyes. “So I told her you’re a friend from work…is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s what I am so it makes sense.” You drum your fingers on top of the box to the beat of the music. “None of your family will be there?”

“They’re going to FaceTime in for it. They came for his tenth birthday since it’s a bit more sentimental.”

“Do you miss them?”

“Oh sure, but I love here too much to go back permanently. I like going during winter break, that’s enough.”

“You don’t go during the summer?”

“Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes they come to visit here during the summer too. My sister has two kids of her own so it’s not always easy to travel.” You nod your head. “You know, I’ve known you almost a year and I don’t know a thing about your family.”

“What’s there to know? My parents are still together, somehow, I’ve got an older brother who’s a sous chef at a restaurant in Boston. He’s not married, but he has a partner and he’s just lovely. I usually stay with them if I go home for a visit.”

“That’s great! How much older is he?”

“He’s around your age, actually, so not a huge age difference.”

“And when’s your birthday?”

“Beginning of August.” You grin.

“Wow, so you had just turned twenty-six when you came to us.”

“Pretty much, got hired at twenty-five, not too shabby.”

“Not at all.”

The conversation went on for the entire drive. That’s how it always was with you two, always a lot to talk about. When you get out of the car you’re able to get a good look at Harry’s outfit. His outfits were usually well crafted, you’d call his style dad-chic. He was in a pair of tan slacks that he had cuffed at the bottom, a pair of white loafers to go with them, a white tank top tucked in with a floral open short-sleeve button up. Very handsome. You smile at each other and then he leads you around back to where the party was. You weren’t the first people there, but you weren’t the last either.

“Dad!” Andy exclaims and runs over to you both. Harry picks him up and swings him around before setting him down.

“Happy birthday, kiddo.”

“Thanks! Look, all my friends from school came.” He points over to them. Harry recognizes Brandon and his father out of the bunch.

“That’s great, bud, let us come in and say hi to everyone, can you say hi to Y/N?”

“Hi, thanks for coming.” He gives you a surprising hug.

“Oh! You’re welcome, Andy. Happy birthday.”

He runs back over to his friends and you walk further into the backyard. It was stunning. Grass that led to sand that led to the lake water. A boat parked further down by the docks, and just gorgeous views for miles. The house itself was huge, you couldn’t believe it.

“Harry!” A woman, who you would assume is Paige, comes waking over. She was beautiful. Shoulder length blonde hair, sort of thin, but not quite a stick. She was wearing a yellow sundress. Her and Harry share a slight hug. “He’s eleven.” She pouts.

“He’s eleven.” Harry agrees with a sigh. “Oh, this is Y/N. Y/N this is Paige, Andy’s mum.”

“It’s so nice to meet you.” She says to you. “Let me take that for you, thank you for bringing him something. I’ll put this with the others.” She takes the box from you. “There’s wine and beer for the adults if you like, but we also have soda and water if you’re not up for drinking. I certainly had a glass after my folks showed up.”

“Did your mother put her white glove on and see if there was any dust?” Harry teases her.

“She may as well have.” Paige rolls her eyes.

Harry puts his hand on the small of your back and leads you closer into the party.

“This is a lovely home.”

“Oh, thank you. I sort of inherited it. It’s was my grandparents’.” She sets your gift on the table with the others. “There’s snacks inside and outside. Feel free to hangout wherever.”

“Where exactly are your parents?” Harry asks.

“Up on the deck.” Paige points up towards it. “Feel free to avoid them as long as you like. They’re speaking with Noah’s parents at the moment. My sister should be here soon.” She looks at her watch. “I’m gonna go check on some things.”

“Alright, love, thanks.” They smile at each other. You get a bad taste in your mouth hearing him call her love, for whatever reason. “Wanna meet some of the parents. I know that guy, Ed, the best. He’s Brandon’s dad, Andy’s best friend.”

“Sure.” You nod and Harry leads you over. “I never quite understood why some parents stay at kids parties.”

“Well…look around you, wouldn’t you wanna hang for a bit?”

“Got me there.”

“Harry, hi.” Ed shakes Harry’s hand.

“Good to see you, this is my friend Y/N, we work together at the university.”

“Hi.” You shake his hand.

“Great to meet you. Brandon was so excited when he got the invite. He and Andy get along so well.” The three of you watch them and the other kids playing tag.

“Born to be friends I’d say.” Harry says.

“Uncle Harry!” A young girl comes running over to Harry and he picks her up, kissing her check, and then setting her down.

“Hi, Rachel, can you say hello to my friend Y/N?”

“Hello.” She beams up at you, a couple of teeth missing. “My grammy and grampy are here.”

“Are they?” Harry says.

“Mhm, I love them a lot.”

“I’m sure they love you too, sweetheart. Are you having a good time for Andy’s birthday?”

“Yeah! We’re going to have a water balloon toss soon.”

“Oh, that’ll be fun!”

“Daddy said he’d be on my team for it.”

“Well, that’s good.”

She smiles again and then runs off.

“Your ex’s boyfriend’s daughter calls you Uncle Harry?” You ask.

“Yeah…she sort of started doing that on her own. She knows I’m Andy’s dad, but I don’t think it quite registers with her yet how we’re all mixed together.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“A glass of white would be great, thank you.” Harry nods and leaves you standing with Ed.

“So, how long have you and H known each other?”

“Well, I started working at the university last August, so less than a year. We’re office neighbors.”

“Ah, how nice. He’s a really great guy, isn’t he? I coach the boys’ basketball team and he was the first to sign up for snack duty.”

“He’s definitely always thinking of others.”

“How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Oh, um, we’re not.” You shake your head. “He just asked me to come with him, ex in laws, you know?”

“Shit, I’m sorry for just assuming.”

“It’s alright.” You assure him. Harry comes over with a glass of wine for you and a bottle of beer for him.

“Sorry that took a moment, I ran into Noah inside and had to do the hellos. Still managed to not bump into Paige’s parents though, so that’s good.” He chuckles, taking a sip from his drink.

“Bad blood?” You ask.

“Even though things between Paige and I are perfectly fine, in their eyes, I’m always going to be the guy that got her pregnant and didn’t make an honest woman out of her.”

“That’s annoying.”

“Very.”

An hour or so passes and then Paige announces that the balloon toss will be beginning soon.

“Dad, be my partner?”

“You got it, buddy. Mind holding my drink?” He says to you.

“Not at all, have fun.” You smile.

More people had come down off the deck so they could watch. Some parents partnered with their kids, and other kids just partnered with kids. Everyone starts about a foot apart. This should be fun, you think, knowing Harry’s competitive nature.

“Would you look at Harry, he looks like an old man from Florida.” You hear a woman scoff.

“Notice how he’s been avoiding us, always a child.” You hear a man say, and this makes you turn towards them. They must be Paige’s parents.

Everyone playing was further apart now, some balloons had popped, but Harry and Andy were still in the game. The balloon pops at Rachel’s feet and she giggles loudly. There were only a few people now. You watch as Harry lobs the balloon perfectly to Andy, and Andy catches it with ease. It was Brandon and his dad vs. Harry and Andy now. Brandon overthrows it, causing the balloon to pop on the sand.

“We won!” Andy shouts running towards Harry.

“Great job.” Harry jostle’s Andy’s hair. Everyone cheers for them.

“What do you say, honey, cake and gifts now?” Paige asks Andy.

“Yeah.” He smiles.

All of the kids sit around a large glass table while Paige goes inside to get the cake. Harry walks back towards you and you hand him his beer.

“What were you saying about you have no coordination?”

“I had to win, it’s his birthday.” He laughs and then stops when he sees Paige’s parents. “Lydia, Nathan, how are you?”

“Oh, are you speaking with us now?” Lydia says playfully, giving him a hug. Harry shakes Nathan’s hand.

“You know how it is when you first get to a party, lots of excitement. I’d find you eventually.” He clears his throat. “This is Y/N, we work together at the university.”

“Hello.” You smile and they both look you up and down.

“How nice for you to bring a friend.” Nathan says, his tone laced with sarcasm.

“I’m gonna go see if she needs help with the cake.” Harry says to all of you, and you also decide to move away from the rude people you were standing with.

Paige and Harry stand on either side of Andy’s chair as everyone sings happy birthday. After cake the gifts come out. Noah takes Harry into the garage to grab the bike.

“Alright…this one is from…Y/N!” Paige says brightly as she hands the gift to Andy. He tears the wrapping paper off and gasps.

“Alright! A new basketball, thank you!” Andy says looking in your direction and you nod with a smile.

“Okay, Andy, Dad and I got you something really special.” Paige says pointing over to Harry who was wheeling the bike over. Andy’s jaw drops.

“Are you serious?!” He stand up and walks over to the bike.

“Know you’ve been wanting it for a while, and your grades have just been so good this year, we just had to do it. Mum’s got a new helmet, elbow and knee pads for you in the house.”

“Thank you so much!” He hugs Harry and then he hugs Paige.

“You’re more than welcome, baby doll.” Paige says to him and then he squirms away from her.

“Mum.” He huffs.

“Right, sorry, not in front of your friends.”

Paige’s sister helps her clean up the remains of the cake while the kids continue to play yard games. You find yourself sitting in a lawn chair when a man you have yet to meet takes the chair next to you, but you recognize him as Rachel’s father.

“We haven’t gotten to meet yet, I’m Noah.” He shakes your hand.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” He smiles. “I was happy to hear Harry was bringing someone with him. Takes a bit of the pressure off.”

“Exactly.” You nod.

“How’d you meet?”

“We’re office neighbors, I started working at the university less than a year ago.”

“Oh! Right, you went hiking with them last weekend.” He says in understanding. “Andy told us. He’s quite the gossip.”

You observe Noah as he speaks. His hair has turned to salt and pepper, definitely had crow’s feet, also wore glasses, but he had a warm and inviting smile, similar to his daughter’s.

“He certainly speaks his mind.” You chuckle. “He’s very sweet though, I have to say.”

“Very sweet. He’s a good kid. It’s nice for Rach to have someone to grow up with a little She adores him, definitely sees him as a big brother.”

“That’s good. I’ve always found blended families to be interesting. You all are doing it well.”

“Took us a while to get to this point, but it’s all been worth it.”

“Y/N?” You both turn to look at Harry. “Party’s starting to dissipate a bit, are you about ready to head out?”

“Sure!” You stand up. “It was nice talking to you.”

“Same here.” Noah stands up and gives Harry a thumbs up without you seeing.

You both say your goodbyes, Andy gives you another hug and says thank you again for the gift. Harry tells him he’ll see him Sunday night, and then you head to his car.

“Hope you didn’t mind when I had to leave to chat a couple of times.”

“Oh, it was fine. I enjoyed just hanging out. It was a beautiful day.” The sun was just starting to set.

“Yeah, I’m glad the weather was nice. I think it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” He looks at you and then gets his attention back on the road. “You really did look nice today.”

“Thank you, Harry.” You smile and give his shoulder a squeeze.

“Am I…taking you straight home?”

You blink a couple of times before looking at him.

“Where else would we go?”

“Well, I’ve got a back deck of my own. We could sit out, enjoy the sunset…if you want.”

“That sounds nice, actually. Yeah, let’s do that.” You smile.

“Great.”

You notice his jaw and shoulders relax. Were you making him tense? You both listen to the music on the radio as he drives you to his home. You smile as he pulls up. It was a decent size ranch. Cream color paneling and red shutters, very cute.

“Here were are.” He says awkwardly as you both get out.

“Do I get a tour?”

“Of course!”

He unlocks the front door and leads you inside. There was an open concept kitchen and living area. The house smelled like fresh coffee. He noticed you taking a whiff.

“I have an automatic air freshener.” He says and you nod.

“I like it, should get one for my place.”

“There’s a full bath down the hall, Andy uses that, and then I have my own bathroom. Three bedrooms totally, and then you can see I technically have two levels, that’s what I use for my office.”

“It’s a huge loft.”

“Yeah, it’s partially why I bought the place. I didn’t feel cramped. Basement’s partially finished which will be great for Andy when he’s over if he wants to have parties or whatever. Uh, and then the deck is this way. Can I get you anything…I only have red wine, I know you like white…”

“Red’s fine, maybe just put an ice cube in it for me?”

“Can do, make yourself comfortable outside.” He smiles.

You slide the glass door open and smile. It was a decent sized deck. There was a small glass round table with chairs, a grill, and some Adirondack chairs as well. You sit in one of those after taking a glance at the flowers and plants he had in pots. You also notice the various flower beds he had in the yard.

“Here you go.” He says, sitting down next to you, handing you the glass of wine.

“Thank you.” You smile and take a sip. You cross your cardigan over yourself.

“Are you cold? I can get a blanket.”

“Oh, no I’m fine, thanks. It’s beautiful out here.”

“Thanks, took me a while to get it landscaped the way I like.” He lights the citronella candle on the small table between you to help keep any bugs away. “I’ve been thinking of getting an above ground pool for Andy, he loves to swim, but it’s a lot maintenance, and his mum as the lake right there.”

“That house is incredible.”

“Noah’s helped her revamp it quite a bit, and the boat’s his.” He takes a sip of his drink and looks at you. “Thanks again for coming today.”

“Of course, I had a really good time.” You smile.

“You’re not just saying that?”

“Not at all. It was nice to finally meet the people you’ve told me so much about.”

“Are you hungry or anything? I could bring some-“

“Harry.” You put your hand over his that was resting on the arm of the chair. “Relax, yeah? I’m all set, thank you.”

“Alright.” He blushes and looks straight ahead. You notice him check an app on his phone. “Are you free Tuesday morning?”

“I think so, why?”

“Weather’s looking good, how about we go on one of those longer hikes?”

“I’d like that.” You smile. “Anything special I’d need to back.”

“Just a lunch, maybe some T.P.”

“You’re funny if think I’m going to take a piss in the woods.”

“Everyone does it.” He shrugs. “Don’t worry, I’d keep lookout for you.”

“You men have it so easy, you can just whip your things out, go quick, and you’re all set. Me, I’d have to roll my pants down, squat, hope none of it got on my shoes, wipe, and then get dressed again.”

“I’ve had to do that before, sometimes you just need to take a shit in the woods.” You burst out laughing at that. “Course that only happened because I went out drinking the night before.”

“Good to know.” You wipe a tear from your eye. “But seriously, I’d love to go hiking with you Tuesday.”

“I know it was more so Andy that invited you on our little camping trip, but you’re welcome to join in on that if you feel comfortable.”

“I would just feel like I’m intruding on your quality time.”

“You wouldn’t be, he likes you…um…I like you.” Your head snaps in his direction and your eyebrows shoot up. “I mean, like, I like hanging out with you, is all.” He was internally cringing at himself.

“I like hanging out with you too.” You swallow. “I’m glad we’ve gotten to know each other so well. You’ve been a great help with my classes. You’re so progressive, not always using the same syllabus and being willing to make things work for the students. It’s refreshing.”

“Please, go on, the narcissist within me is loving it.” He smirks and you roll your eyes. “Don’t sell yourself short, you’re doing really well. I enjoyed observing your rhetoric class. It was a nice refresher. I hope you won’t work yourself to much this summer. I know it’s more time for research and writing, but it’s also time for you to clear your head.”

“Thanks, I’ll try to keep that in mind.” You finish off your wine just as the sun it setting, the light from the candle being the only thing to keep things bright enough to see.

“I can, uh, bring you home now if you want.”

“I could just get an uber so you don’t have to go out again.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s no trouble.”

Harry drives you home, and you find yourself lingering in the car.

“So…Tuesday?”

“Tuesday.” He smiles. “Bright and early.”

“How early?” You raise an eyebrow.”

“How’s six sound? I’ll come pick you up, we’ll get to the trailhead by 6:30. It’s always better to summit earlier in the day.”

“You’re the expert.” You shrug. “Works for me.”

You both lean across the console to give each other a hug a goodbye, like you normally would, only this time…you press your lips to his cheek before getting out of the car. His gaze stays fixed on you, and it’s not until you’re inside your building where he lightly presses his fingers to his cheek to feel where you kissed him.

#harry styles #office neighbors #harry styles series #harry styles au #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #professor!harry #singledad!harry #professor!y/n

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sips---tea · 3 years

Text

NSFW abc for Severus Snape

A: Aftercare

Severus isn't the best at aftercare, not knowing exactly what to do but lay and snuggle into you. If he cums onto you then he will get it cleaned off by pouring you a bath which he does not join you in, unless you nag him to.

Sometimes Severus says something in concern if he leaves a large hickie or he was overly rough which it can be. He will get out some cream which will help whatever he left and will make sure that you are feeling okay.

B: Body Part

Severus loves your neck and wrists. The way that he can wrap his hand around them, hold them, kiss them, bite them. Both are perfect to grip during sex or in private. He loves using your wrists to hold you down if you are being bad or just for fun, he can grip both of them in one hand while his other traces your neck.

C: Cum

Severus only wants it in you, either swallowed, in your ass or your cunt. He sees no point for his cum to be anywhere but in you and he takes pride that it is. Sometimes he likes to see it painted over you as a testament to his ownership, however, he is satisfied that although he cannot see his mark, he knows that you have it.

D: Dirty Secret

Severus may be dominant but he has bratty sub fantasies of being tied up and pegged until his master/mistress is happy with him and gives him praise. He would never tell this to you, keeping it to his head, however, sometimes when he looks at you he cannot stop thinking about you tying him up, a riding crop in your hand.

E: Experience

Not much, still fawning over Lily when you arrived that he had never really got to be with anyone else or gain experience. When you arrive he learns a lot and becomes very experienced just through you teaching him what his natural dominance can do sexually.

F: Favorite Position

Anywhere he can see your face and the slight twitches and movements you make when he fucks you. This means missionary, against a wall, he is not the biggest fan of you sitting on his lap as he likes to be in control with thrusts, however, he sometimes lets you bounce on his lap.

Severus also loves knee grinding, the way you clutch to him and with all your effort grind against his thigh and knee, trying to catch your orgasm.

G: Goofy

Severus is never really goofy, but after he is more likely to be as he is relaxed, letting out his frustrations and annoyance out on you and now being more relaxed, forgetting about his duties as a teacher and a double agent.

H: Hair

Severus doesn't have much hair on his chest or around his cock, apart from a little sporting of pubes which he does not bother to shave unless you nag him too. He doesn't see the need to shave and doesn't see the need for you to either.

I: Intimacy

Surprisingly, Severus is quite intimate, loving it when you look into each other's eyes as you both fall over the edge or you wrap your legs around him as he thrusts into you. He loves cock warming after, keeping himself still close to you as you both rest after.

J: Jack Off

If he does then it will be when you are away, however, he does not really see the need to, unless he is frustrated, as there is nothing to turn him on when you are away. He sees little point in it, seeing marking as better use of his time than pleasuring himself halfheartedly without you.

K: Kink

Severus has a daddy kink, although he doesn't like it out of the bedroom, preferring it to be just in private or in sex. Severus sometimes has a wand kink, using his wand against your head like a knife kink would work or to fuck you, there are many uses for his pliable wand. Of course, Severus likes to be dominant and likes to use his hands as much as possible, to slap you, choke you, pet you.

L: Location

The bed to him is the place which makes the most sense to have sex but anywhere in your and his rooms will work such as against a wall. He also likes it in his office, with his office locked tight. Severus, however, does not see it as appropriate to fuck you in his classroom, even with the door locked as he does not want his classroom to be contaminated or have any suspicion that he was having sex in it.

M: Motivation

Just seeing you with that look in your eyes starts to get him going. Also, you, sitting on his lap and nuzzling into his chest, slightly brushing his cock either on purpose or not.

Sometimes it can be bad news from the death eater meeting or just frustration with life can get him going, wishing to take it out by fucking you to forget his problems.

N: No

He is turned off by age play such as you being a student. He finds it disturbing as a teacher and completely refuses to take part in it. Severus also does not like a kink that hurts you too much, at that point his caring side will question what he is doing as he does have a very overactive brain which always puts him in doubt, this means with his wand play he does not use spells which will hurt too bad.

O: Oral

Severus prefers receiving it, loving feeling your lips wrapped around his disco stick, however, he doesn't mind giving also, but it does not give a good view of your face so he can watch your little movements.

P: Pace

Severus likes it quite fast, however, he likes to go slow to tease you and make you sometimes beg for it which he loves to see. After a while in your relationship he will go slower, enjoying more sensual parts of sex (although he wouldn't say) and loving how you rock with his pace.

Q: Quickie

Severus sees no point in it, the only time a quickie could occur is between classes which could mean students outside as he fucks you which he would not find comfortable. Severus much prefers it long, loving to orgasm multiple times with you.

R: Risk

Severus is not that open to experimenting with different things, but he is quite a stickler to things he knows he enjoys, his stubborn nature making it difficult for you to persuade him to try anything new.

Severus as said does not like much risk, not liking the thought of anyone, especially students, knowing what he is doing. Severus also will never find out about anything he would want to try sexually, not looking for anything new, sticking to what he enjoys.

S: Stamina

Severus will go on and on until he is satisfied, which is usually three rounds, however, it can be longer if he wishes it to be. Severus will slowly use stamina throughout. If it was a short session then he will definitely start again in the morning. Severus likes to see you red and quivering, however, it is not a must and he will stop if you have had enough.

T: Toys

Severus is not much for toys, always preferring the touch of his fingers, tongue, cock making you squirm and moan rather than an object used only for sex. Severus would see there being no point of buying it if it only has one use of sex. If you nag him, or buy it yourself, he will use it sometimes, such as handcuffs, but it is not for every time.

U: Unfair

Severus loves to tease you, loving how you react to him pushing so close to the edge of pleasure and then losing it, your red face, your annoyed expression doesn't fail to make him chuckle and tut at you, telling you to be patient.

V: Volume

Severus is not that loud, only letting out little grunts and moans in sex. These noises are hot though, his low voice sounding like music as he lets out sounds of effort as he fucks you. He likes to whisper little things in your ear, such as praise or grunts to show you how much he wants you.

W: Wild Card

Severus always gets worried if his sex is okay, if you are okay and if you enjoyed it. Severus wouldn't ask you directly but would use occlumency to see the answers to his questions.

Severus also likes using occlumency to discover what you want which you are too awkward to ask in sex and in normal life. This means that you are always surprised that he seems to know what you are thinking and so that, at least at his angle, there communication.

X: X-Ray:

There was a study that men with long noses have big dicks. This is true, he has big dick energy and he doesn't hide it from you. To add to that, Severus is tall, so his dick is long and thick, fitting into you perfectly, hitting each part of you perfectly.

Y: Yearning

Severus's sex drive is quite high, although he wouldn't want sex all the time. Severus sometimes does not see the point in sex, preferring holding each other and reading, cooking with you, going for a walk than simple desires of the flesh. If you wish for sex he will mostly oblige. Severus' yearning is higher when you are both are at home, not needing to worry about interfering with children or professors distracting you both. It also means there are fewer responsibilities for you both.

Z: ZZZ

Severus is never a great sleeper, but after sex, he can feel more relaxed, it all depends on what happened before and after. If there's a big death eater meeting the next night he wouldn't sleep, letting you snooze after stimulating you so perfectly. However, after the war or back home he can sleep quickly, with nothing on his mind but you.

#snape smut #snape #severus snape #snape fanfiction #harry potter

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lisinfleur · 3 years

Text

Insecure

The Request:

Author’s Notes | I’m sorry for taking so long, babe! But I hope you enjoy it! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Ivar x Reader Info | Modern Age AU, requested by @lol-haha-joke for 5CW Ivar II, posted for HTGI Event. Words | 1173 ⁑ Warnings: Erotic content, some explicit scenes. Mentions to wounds and blood.

It was like being smitten by one of Thor's bolts right in the middle of his head. Although it was the sexiest scene Ivar had ever laid his eyes on, it froze his body entirely.

Instead of going into the obvious arousal seeing his wife touching herself and hearing her moans were supposed to throw him in, his thoughts started swirling into his mind like a furious storm, spreading stones of insecurity and fear everywhere inside his head.

For a long moment, Ivar stood still and silent at the door of his room, watching that scene simply because his brain couldn't process the electrical impulses and decide if he should enter and stop that or leave her alone.

And leave the hallway.

The house.

Maybe her life.

His body essayed the steps in and out of the room dozens of times, indecisive, scared. Until her body shuddered over the bed, and she threatened to open her eyes.

Worse than the idea of not being able to please his own wife was the thought of being caught discovering her personal games.

Her relief.

At first, Ivar's body swirled over his braced legs, and his back touched the wall beside the bedroom's door, listening when she moaned louder, faster...

She was coming! But it was so strong...

He couldn't remember any time in which she panted for him like that.

As she started moaning lower, his body was finally able to move away from the door. His steps taking his defeated self to his living room, straight to his bar.

Ivar's hands were trembling when he placed a cup, pouring himself some pure whiskey.

His mind was moving fast through the memories of their moments. The many times she said he was amazing or ended up laughing over his chest after a long night together. All the praises...

His feelings mixed insecurity, fear, anxiety... Anger.

As always, everything in Ivar's mind would slowly turn into boiling anger, and it wasn't different this time. His hand started trembling in anxiety, but now, it was fury.

The cup, emptied in a single sip, wasn't placed but slammed against the bar. Ivar slammed his fist against the bar one, two times, trying to put that anger out against the wood.

At the third slam, however, his hand missed the place and slammed the cup, turning it into sharp shards of glass that opened a large cut in his palm, causing Ivar's voice to echo in a growl between the wrath and the raw pain.

Of course, she heard his sounds from the room and came as fast as she could. Her eyes were large when she saw his blood flowing so freely like that.

"Oh, my gods! Ivar, what happened?" she said, fully concerned.

Picking up a towel from his bar to roll his hand and hold the bleeding.

But he didn't answer.

His eyes were destroyed on her figure.

How could she lie to him for so long and yet sound so truly worried about his well-being?

How could she hide that secret for so long from his sharp eyes and blessed mind?

"Ivar? Love... Answer me..." She insisted, touching his face.

How could she be lying and still sound so real? So full of love?

With his anger lowered by the pain, all that lasted was Ivar's blues, hurt and sad into her eyes.

"Why did you lie to me for so long?"

His words and the pools of sadness in his eyes confused her completely.

"What?" she asked, dizzy.

Her steps took him back to the couch where they could sit as her fingers were quickly calling the emergency service of his health insurance.

"I saw you," he affirmed, causing his wife to cringe for a moment. "I saw you touching yourself with that toy... Why didn't you ever tell me I wasn't enough? Why did you lie to me and said it was good to be with me, Y/N?" Ivar inquired.

His voice was as full of pain as his eyes were, teary.

But his wife looked at him completely shocked.

"Wait... You... Oh, mighty Odin, Ivar! You got everything wrong, for the gods' sake!" she burst, rolling her eyes.

Igniting the anger into his as Ivar tried to keep his wounded heart protected.

"What did I get wrong, Y/N? My wife moans louder for a damn plastic piece of shit than she does to me, and yet, she lies every time we fuck, so she doesn't have to tell me I'm not good enough for her! That's what I get!"

But once again, she just sighed, looking at him.

"And here is what you got wrong, my love," she said.

Her voice sounded strangely meek into Ivar's ears, crumbling his defenses once again.

"I never lied to you, and I do not need that toy. I like to play when you're not around to make me crazy, but I could throw it away at any time, and I wouldn't miss it. I moaned louder cause that shit was on high speed, and I didn't notice when I started. When I'm with you, there is no such thing. You build my pleasure, you make me feel warm, you love me, Ivar, you don't just make me cum with raw pleasure, and nothing more."

Her words were making sense, causing Ivar to slowly start feeling himself an idiot.

"It's my fertile day, Ivar. I was warm, and I didn't know how late would you come from the company. My intentions were to start warming myself to wait for you to come home. I never wanted to exchange you for a toy or needed a toy because you're not enough. I like to have toys to prepare myself for you. And even when I'm using them, my eyes are closed because I'm remembering your touch, your hands on me, your body into me, your sounds..." she explained.

Causing Ivar's anger to become nothing and give place to a huge shame of his own stupidity.

"Shit..." he growled. "I... I'm sorry."

"No, love. I am sorry," she answered. "I should've told you I liked these games. I should've explained everything, so you wouldn't feel like this. My poor Ivar... I love you, my dear, it would never be different. You're better than any shitty plastic toy I could ever buy, uh?"

Her warm fingers slid through his jawline, tracing it in a way he always loved to feel.

"Now we'll take you to the hospital, treat this thing in your hand, and come back home, so I can replace that toy with what I really wanted in me tonight... Does it sound good, my love?"

Ivar couldn't repress a smile on the corner of his mouth.

"I hope the hospital doesn't keep me for too long," he mumbled.

The smile became bigger on both of their faces.

He would have to wait to have his treat, but at least, his heart was relieved. His precious wife was his, and no toy was better than him.

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caermis · 4 years

Text

❝Love❞ Ch. 1

❦BNHA! Various X Black!Reader ❦Characters: ⇻Izuku Midoriya ⇻Mirio Togata ❦Warnings: None ❦Plot: “Y/N L/N. Thank you for your help.” -H.E.R.O Ward Association, Block 15. A young 20-year-old, that has been chosen as the right choice to raise 10 Installments. That are Children? ❦Notes: ⇻This does not involve Pedophilia, Hebephilia, or Ephebophilia(Nothing to do with a sexual attraction towards literal children) -G/BsF/N = Best Friend’s name

❝Ch.1❞ ❝Ch.2❞

Chapter One

A New Mother's Dismay

Midoriya & Togata

I am Y/N L/N

Her E/C eyes silently watched the striped ball roll to her feet, before trailing up the group of kids in front of her. They were all faceless, and their voice held no real warmth or joy, but they screamed the 10-year-old's name. Over and Over and Over. Asking her to play or pass the ball to them. Slowly picking up the ball, taking slow steps before speeding up excitedly. They cheered her name, waiting for her. Before she tripped over her own feet. Tumbling to the ground, the ball rolled back to the other kids. Feeling tears prick her eyes, before slowly sitting up. Only this time, the kids frowned at her, and picked the ball up, and walked away.

I am Y/N L/N

I stared at the red F- on my test; I gripped my skirt, trying to stop the tears at my failure. The faceless high school students chuckled and turned from me like I wasn't even worth bullying. Like I didn't exist. I was alone. I am alone. Repeating those words, I looked into the mirror and watched my face morph into the kind face of my mother. I would never be like her.

I am Y/N L/N

My feet dragged against the pavement, I casually walked home. I sighed. I was currently a university student, who was after their Master's degree in literature. Having published a book, when I was 18, lucky it allowed me to get a scholarship and buy a house, still didn't mean I wouldn't have to get a thankless job.

Luckily working at the University Cafe wasn't extremely bad. Tiredly lifting my arm, iLuckily,t was already 9 pm, and the sun had set a few hours ago, but the streets were still lively, with other College students going out on dates. Seeing my apartment building in the distance, I let out a sigh and took out the gate key. Inputting my pin code, I opened the metal gate and slipped inside and let out a yawn. Staggering up the steps, I walked down the hall, just wanted to get inside and change into something comfortable, until I noticed a package in front of my door.

Walking up to the brown cardboard box, my name written decoratively in sharpie. Lifting the box, I quickly unlocked my front door and slipped inside. Kicking my shoes off and locking the door, I walked into the living room and placed the box on the coffee table. Using my keys, I ripped through the tape and began to open the box. A white card rested on top of a black box, my fingers grabbing the card and reading over it.

A gift.

-H.E.R.O Ward Association. Block 15

"What..." Placing the card aside, I pulled out the large black box and took off its plastic wrapping, my fingers running along the metal of it, before opening it. I yanked my hands away, staring wide-eyed at the money inside. I slapped my hands over my mouth and stared at it, before grabbing the note on top and reading it.

Y/N L/N,

Congratulations! You have been chosen as the direct Caretaker of Block 15: U.A-L.O.V. This is part of your payment, once receiving an installment, which is 200'000 per Installment. This amount has been doubled as of today, due to [REDACTED] circumstances. Expect the arrival between this week or next week.

Thank you,

-H.E.R.O Ward Association. Block 15

I bite my bottom lip, closing the box. So it wasn't a mistake. Grabbing my computer, I started to look at the H.E.R.O Ward Association. Finding absolutely nothing or anything I did find was restricted. I stared back at the box, thinking of ways to get rid of it or return it. I didn't sign up for this, but something told me I couldn't get out of this predicament.

“John! A Number 15! For Mary!” You called out before turning back to the woman behind the counter. “That’ll take just a minute.” Mary smiled and turned from the counter, going back with her friends. Seeing that was the last person, I let out a sigh. Just happy that the lunch rush was over.

Rocking on my heels, I glanced over the cafe, before locking eyes with a tall boy with blonde hair. Dread immediately filled my stomach as he smiled brightly and proudly walked towards the register, making exaggerated movements with his arms.

I watched him with a raised eyebrow as he came closer, just spotting a short boy with green hair stumble after him. Upon reaching the counter, he smiled. “Are you L/N-san?” I nodded and watched his smile get bigger and he pulled out a white card and passed it to me.

Y/N L/N, The first installment. 1/10

Name: Mirio Togata. Age: 9 Block 15: Permeation

Looking from the note back to Miro then looking away from the blonde boy and yelling into the back. “I’m heading out early! It’s an emergency!” Turning back to Mirio, he stared at me with happy blue eyes. “You're very pretty L/N-san.” Giving a half-assed smile, you slipped off your apron and moved around the counter, just spotting the green-haired boy as he hid behind Mirio. “Oh! This is Izuku. He’s 7 and shy. Say hi and give L/N-san your card.” Miro ushered Izuku forward, making him almost trip but catch himself and fumble with his fingers, and pull out a card, quickly pass it to me and hide behind Mirio.

Y/N L/N, The first installment. 1/10

Name: Izuku Midoriya. Age: 7 Block 15: One for All

Not having time to go over the details, crouched down and stared at them. Offering your hand. “Let’s go get something to eat.” Mirio excitedly grabbed my hand, while Izuku slowly grabbed mine. Standing up, I walked with the two boys, heading towards the pizza parlor, mentally thankful that I left my backpack at home, and that I kept my wallet, phone, and keys on you.

Finding a table in the back, I left them here to get a medium-sized pepperoni, half cheese pizza. Paying for the meal, I went back to the table, waiting for my name to be called. “Thank you, L/N-san,” Izuku whispered quietly as he sat beside him, fiddling with his hands.

“Y/N. Call me Y/N.” You smiled and clutched your hands together, having literally no idea what to do. The two seemed respectable enough not to cause trouble. “Y/N. I like your name a lot. Are you from America, cause…” He trailed off, subconsciously rubbing his skin, his eyes on mine.

“Cause you look different.” Izuku grabbed my hand, showing the difference of skin tone, “but not a bad different. A good different.” The green-haired boy quickly added on. Mirio nodded, smiling at me. Feeling my heart clench, I ran my hand through Izuku’s hair and reached across the table and padded Mirio’s head. “Thank you.”

“A half Pepperoni and half Cheese for Y/N!” Pulling for the two boys, I told them to wait for me as I went up and grabbed the pizza. “Y/N! You had kids! When!” One of my friends, G/BsF/N grabbed my arm and stared at me. I rapidly shook my head and crossed my arms. “Hell no! Listen, I’ll explain later!” Grabbing the table, you headed back to the two boys.

“I've never eaten pizza!” Mirio excitedly took a bite of his slice, while I quickly slid a plate, handing Izuku a smaller slice. Watching the two eat, I pulled out my phone, going through different apps.

“Y/N?” Looking at Mirio, watching him sink lower into his seat. He stared at me with wide eyes, seeming to be panicking. Permeation. I quickly stood up and moved to his side. Grabbing his shoulder. Not exactly sure what to do, I made him look at me. “Y/N, Im...Im sorry-”

“Hey. It’s alright. Just breathe. I'm here ok.” I spoke softly, slowly patting his head. Watching him slowly reappear from his seat, his hands gripped my shirt. Staring at him, whatever I just got myself into, I couldn't back out of.

“Miri... I'm here for you ok. It was an accident. Let’s just go home alright. We can buy clothes and things tomorrow.” I slowly pulled away. Packing up the rest of the pizza before leaving.

Upon arriving at my apartment, I found a yellow and blue backpack in front of my door. “I'm assuming those belong to you two?” Mirio sheepishly smiled, as I walked with a sleeping Izuku on my back. “Sorry. We thought you'd be home, but you weren't so we went out to find you.”

“How do you know where I work?”

“The man who brought us here told us.” I unlocked the door, allowing him inside first. Watching Mirio quickly slip off his shoes and dart deeper into the house, excitedly looking around. Walking inside, I kicked the door closed and took off my shoes, lacing Izuku on the couch, and using my coat as a blanket. Placing the box of pizza on the counter.

“Mirio?” Walking down the hall heading to the spare bedroom, Mirio stared out the window into the street. “Y/N, is this me and Izuku’s bedroom?” I slowly nodded, staring at the makeshift bed, until I actually bought a bed.

“I thought you both could help me buy a bed. Seeing as money isn't an issue.” Mirio nodded excitedly and rushed out of the room, going to explore the apartment. Which had only three bedrooms and two full bathrooms, so they had enough to explore.

After a few minutes of exploring on Mirio’s part, and me on the computer, looking at certain bed frames, Izuku cuddled up to my side.

“Y/N! Do you think we can go to school!” Mirio slid into the living room, a red sheet around his neck like a cape. He was playing superheroes with himself, saving invisible citizens and villains, going by Lemillion. “Well, legally you'll have to.” Mirio cheered and disappeared down the hall.

“Do I have to go to school too?” Izuku tiredly rubbed his eyes and looked up at me. I nodded and watched him smile. “Izuku come play Heroes with me!” Izuku looked fully awake and climbed down, darting towards the sound of Mirio’s voice.

Listening to their cheering and entrances introducing themselves, sometimes bickering on how to save someone. My eyes focused on the best schools close to the apartment, before settling on Boku No Hero Academia K-12 School.

“Y/N!”

“Y/N!” Izuku in a white cape, naming himself to be All Might, and Mirio who had changed his red cape to a black one, changing into a villain. Ran into the living room, staring at me. “Play Heroes and Villains with us! You can be the person I save.”

“But I wanna save Y/N too.”

“But we need a Villain and Villains can't save people.” Izuku and Mirio went back and forth before I stopped them. “You can take turns.” The two nodded, and we went on to play.

“Give me the secret formula!”

“Ah, save me!” Struggling in your metal restraints (horribly tied yarn) you stared at Villain Lemillion with fearful eyes, as you fell closer to the lava(floor). “That’s fine. This lava can read your mind, so I'll win either way! Mwahaha!”

“Someone help me! I need a hero please.” Falling closer to the lava until the door opened and there appeared the hero All Might. “I am here to save you Y/N-oops I mean-I am here to save you, citizen!” He chucked a pillow at Villain Lemillion making him fall back. “No, my plans!” Watching him fall into the lava, dying with his tongue out and making a sizzling sound.

“Are you alright!?” All Might jumped onto the platform, undoing my restraints and making sure I was alright. “Thank you! You saved me! You're my hero.” All Might look embarrassed and smiled.

“Still sizzling over here.”

We looked over the edge of the platform(my bed) and down at Villain Lemillion, who was somehow still alive. “How are you alive!? I killed you!”

“You're a hero. Heroes don't kill people!”

“Y/N, do heroes kill people?” Mirio and Izuku looked at me, I thought for a second. “I guess if they really need to but never their main villain.”

“Main villain?” Mirio climbed onto the bed and stared at me. “Like the person, they go up against. “Like Batman and the Joker. Their main rivals, but you can always have more than one rival.”

“Like! Like! Um...when All Might fought All for One so they're main rivals!”

“Oh! You're so smart!” Izuku's eyes lit up as the two talked. Maybe All Might was a Hero, I haven't heard of. You brushed it off and checked the time, 8:23 PM, and the boys ate around 5 or 6, so dinner was in order. “We’ll eat dinner, then you both can take a bath. We’re going to check out your schools tomorrow.” The two cheered and climbed down, rushing towards the kitchen. Following them, deciding to settle on Pizza, which they basically inhaled and ready for a bath.

While they took a bath together, I chose their PJs, realizing that Mirio had zero sense for what was for bed and what was not. After a few minutes of slashing and hero talk, they both came out squeaky clean, saying that heroes needed to be clean. Tucking them into bed, they both started asking me for a bedtime story.

“Uh, I don't know any.”

“Make one up!”

“N/N, please!” Izuku called me by my nickname, staring at me with Puppy dog eyes. Sighing, I cleared my throat and made myself comfortable. “Once upon a time, there was a boy. A boy not many liked cause he was different, though this boy had a friend. A friend that was really mean to him and put that boy down.”

“If they were friends. Why was his friend mean to him?” Mirio spoke quietly, staring with half-lidded eyes. Izuku slowly nodded, “Shouldn't friends be nice to each other?”

“Until that boy met a hero, and that hero gave that boy his power, after some convincing. So the boy was given the old Heroes power, a dangerous power that would hurt the boy, but the old Hero didn't tell the boy that. So the boy could tell no one. Though this boy didn’t listen and told his friends, who didn't believe him. We soon learn his friend is jealous, he thinks the boy looks down on him. Jealousy is a nasty thing.”

“That doesn't sound like a hero.” Mirio slowly dozed up, while Izuku softly muttered. Slowly patting his head, I nodded.

“I guess it doesn't.”

#bnha x black!reader #bnha x poc!reader #bnha x mother reader #mha x black!reader #mha x poc!reader #mha x mother reader #izuku midoria x reader #mirio togata x reader #izuku midoriya x black reader #mirio togata x black reader #izuku midoriya #mirio togata #black reader #poc reader

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chickensarentcheap · 3 years

Text

Never Gonna Be Alone -Chapter 26

Title: Preparations

Warning: it’s filler. I figured we needed some cute daddy Tyler. lol

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @alievans007, @miss-smutty, @tragiclyhip

“When you met mumma, you guys were working together, right?”

Addie poses the question as she sits atop the kitchen island; legs swinging back and forth as they dangle over the edge, the heels of silver and gold glitter infused jelly sandals lightly thumping against the wood. She insisted on bringing one of her favourite pairs of shoes from home; arguing that she didn’t care that they were ‘out of season’ and that she would wear what she wants, when she wants, and no one could tell her otherwise. In the end they’d gone perfectly with the new ‘Christmas’ dress she’d picked out Bloomingdales; a vibrant yellow concoction with capped sleeves embellished with strips of lace, a sash around the waist that ties in an enormous bow at the back, and an elaborate tulle skirt several layers thick that shimmers in the light. Forgoing all the burgundy, emerald green, and red dresses that had lined the regular priced racks in favour of an outfit from the leftover and highly discounted summer section. It was a hill Esme hadn't been willing to die on; preferring that Addie showcase both her independence in choosing her own outfit, and being proud of her personal style and preferences. And it suits her; as bright and adorable as her personality with just enough ‘no fucks given’ sprinkled on for good measure.

While tiny and seemingly fragile, she can be extremely assertive and adverse to any form of compromise; tenacious to a fault and digging her heels in and sticking to her guns when she feels she’s one hundred right about her stance. Even if there’s mountains of proof to show that she is, in fact, completely wrong. Someone so stubborn and feisty lingering inside that cute, wee package; able to hold her own while out playing with her older siblings and not afraid to get a bloody nose or a fat lip or a black eye. And not deterred in the slightest when she DOES get injured; right back to what she was doing only hours after getting stitches or a cast removed. Not shying away from climbing trees or splashing in mud puddles or helping muck out the goats stalls while wearing clunky rubber boots paired with a Disney princess dress. Very much like her older sister had been at that age; enjoying being physical and active and playing sports and rough housing one minute, then showcasing her more ‘girly side’ the next. Loving trips to the salon with mummy for manis and pedis; enjoying picking her own shade of polish and then getting to sip orange juice from a champagne glass while getting a facial and her hair trimmed. Collecting dolls along with various rocks and shells and beach glass. Superhero figures taking up residence on her bedroom shelves right alongside stuffies of her favourite animals -koalas, sloths, and kangaroos currently at the top of the list- and snow globes from different parts of the world. Her closet filled with not only frilly dresses and sparkly leggings and colourful sweaters emblazoned with unicorns and french bulldogs and flamingos, but old hand me downs from her brothers; ripped and faded jeans and tattered t-shirts and board shorts.

“Right,” Tyler confirms, as he tends to running a brush through her waist length hair; damp from misting it down with a spray bottle in order to easier part it into sections.

It’s a far cry from his old life; his beaten and busted up hands with their multitude of scars and calluses once used to being soaked in blood and caked with dirt. Large and weathered with misshapen knuckles, they’d long ago gotten accustomed to hard, manual labour and the brutality that he’d had to inflict on others; fists that pummelled bodies and faces and fingers that pulled triggers and wrapped around throats and choked the life out of combatants. And while they still get caked in mud from working around the house and they’re still entrusted to load magazines and are capable of taking a gun apart in thirteen seconds flat, they’ve morphed into other uses. Beginning with diapering babies and tending to the impossibly tiny snaps on jumpers, buttons on little sweaters, and zippers on sleepers. Moving on to tying kid sized shoe laces and cleaning and patching up skinned knees and elbows. Advancing to far more difficult hair styling techniques than the simple ponytails he’d began affixing on Millie when she was a toddler; various styles of braids adorned with ribbons, and snapping barrettes and clamping clips into place.

Being a girl dad is unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The six short years -despite the little time he’d actually been home- he’d spent with Austin had prepared him for raising boys. His son, when healthy, had been extremely active and fearless and full of curiosity and energy; getting as messy and as dirty as possible and loving every second of it. Obsessed with superheroes and sports and always clad in clothing that displayed his favourites; football jerseys and baseball caps and sweats emblazoned with Superman or Batman logos. He had been terrified twelve years ago when the news had come in that Millie was in fact going to be a girl; not only envisioning frilly dresses and a closet full of pink and those ridiculous headbands parents insist on putting on their infants, but thinking back to his own treatment of women. The days when he’d used them for nothing more than sex; random strangers picked up in bars or that he’d meet on the street in whatever city a job sent him to. A failed marriage; putting more of a priority on the military than he did on treating his wife properly. And all he could think about was how having a daughter was somehow a punishment for the bad shit he’d done. A little girl that he’d have to protect from guys like him.

It was hard to get used to; big fingers having to master putting in tiny earrings and tending to impossibly small zippers and buttons , getting comfortable with the amount of pink and purple in their rooms and closets. Eventually graduating into attending tea parties and playing with Barbies and helping make crafts; getting used to paint on his palms and between his fingers and glitter stuck under his nails and in his hair and beard. Determined to be a hands-on father even if its activities are way outside of his comfort zone; gymnastic meets and dance recitals as opposed to lacrosse matches and football games. Being a girl dad isn’t for the weak; having to worry about your little girls’ hearts being broken and if the guys they pick will treat them right and if they themselves will make smart and responsible choices as teenagers. And the hormones; the up and down emotions and the drastic switch from bitchy to overly sensitive. Having a wife go through it once a month is enough. never mind the thought of three other girls. The worry of how he’ll handle not only the emergence of puberty, but if all four female ‘clocks’ decide to sync up. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle THAT; all the women in his life going through the cramps and the moodiness and the demands to be coddled and babied one minute and left the fuck alone the next.

“Does that mean mummy beat up and killed bad guys too?”

“No. She never did any of that stuff. That was my job, not hers.”

“What did she do?”

“She tracked down the bad guys. And where they were doing mean things to good people. Then she told me...or guys like me...where they were so we could go and take care of things.”

“So you could go and kill them?”

“You don’t always have to kill people. Sometimes it’s enough to just rough them up a bit.”

“And other times they fight back and try to hurt you and you have to hurt them first?”

“Pretty much.”

“Have you killed a lot of people?”

“Not that many," he lies. It's actually a staggering amount; the death toll -from his hand alone- in Dhaka putting the count well over three hundred.

“How many is ‘not that many'?’”

“I don’t know, Peanut. I’ve never kept track.”

“But you’ve helped more people than you’ve hurt. That’s what mummy said when I asked if it was true. If Tyler was lying when he told me you kill people for a living.”

“That’s a while ago. That you asked mummy that.”

“I was three. That’s a whole two years ago. But sometimes I think about it. Especially when you go away. I think about you having to kill people.”

“And what do you think WHEN you think about that? About what I sometimes have to do?”

“I dunno know,” Addie shrugs, and then lifts the spray bottle clutched in both hands and holds it towards her face; giggling when she pulls the trigger and catches some of the mist in her mouth.

“Does it bother you? When you think about it? That I’ve killed people? That sometimes I still have to?”

“Why would it bother me?”

“Kind of a hard thing to hear, don’t you think? That daddy has to do stuff like that?”

“It’s your job. It’s what you do. You have to hurt people to save other people. And sometimes, if they try and hurt you first, you have to kill them. Because if you didn’t, they might kill you and then you never come home and we never get to see you again. It’s not THAT hard to hear. I’d rather you kill someone and come home than never see you again.”

“You know,” he plucks the spray bottle from her hands and dampens a section of hair. “You’re pretty smart for only five.”

“Smart like mummy.”

He leans in to press a kiss to her cheek. “Cute like her too.”

“Are you going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Who would I get in trouble with?”

“God. Isn’t that one of the things we’re not supposed to do? Kill people?”

“How do you know about that? We don’t talk about that stuff at home.”

“I hear things. At school. Some of the older kids talking. Are you? Going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Probably,” he admits. “I’m sure I’ll face some kind of judgement for it. When my time comes.”

“But wouldn’t it be okay ‘cause you only kill bad people? That were hurting good people? Wouldn’t that be allowed? And if you had to kill someone so you could come home to us, wouldn’t that be okay too?”

“I don’t know,” he snags a yellow cloth ribbon off the island and begins braiding a section of hair around it. “I’ve never thought that far ahead about things.”

“It would suck if you got in trouble for helping people. That wouldn’t be fair at all. If you got sent to hell for doing stuff like that. I mean, you were doing something GOOD. You weren’t doing something bad. You HAD to kill evil people to help good people. And to make sure you come home to mummy and us kids. I can’t see you getting in trouble for something like THAT.”

“Doesn’t make much sense to me either. But not a lot does anymore.”

“I’ll be really mad if you get in trouble and sent somewhere different than me. I don’t want us to be in two separate places. I want us to be together. All of us. You and mummy and all us kids. I don’t want us to all be separated. Well, maybe Millie could be. Because she’s mean to me. All the time.”

“Millie is going through some stuff. She’s going to be a teenager soon. A lot of drama leading up to THAT.”

“She says I’m annoying. That she used to really like me when I was a baby and couldn’t do anything. But now I can do lots of stuff and I can talk and she says that pisses her off. That I’m a bratty little sister.”

“You are NOT bratty.”

“Right? That’s what I said. She’s bratty if anything. Am I annoying, daddy? Don’t lie. You can tell me the truth.”

“You are not annoying. If anyone is annoying, it’s Millie.”

“I said THAT too! But she’s mean. She even threatened to cut my hair off. Shave it. Because I couldn’t find my brush and I borrowed hers and she didn’t like that. So you know what I did? While you were gone?”

“What did you do?”

“I took the tops off two Oreo cookies and I ate the middle and then I put in mayonnaise and I put the tops back on and gave them to Millie. I told her I was being a good little sister and bringing her a snack. And she put a whole one in her mouth! She almost puked!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “You actually did that?”

“Yup. It was awesome. I laughed so hard, I almost peed! But then she started chasing me around the house threatening to kill me. Mummy was screaming at her to lighten up, that it was just a joke. And then she told mummy to shut up and Tyler got mad. REALLY mad. He tackled Millie and grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face into the carpet. Then he put her in a figure four leg lock and made her cry.”

“Millie told your mom to shut up?”

“Oooops…” Addie tilts her head back to look at him, a sheepish smile curving her lips. “....I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part.”

“Who told you not to tell me? Millie?”

The five year old shakes her head.

“TJ?”

Another shake, followed by a tiny “No.”

“Addie…”

“It was mummy! She said not to tell you because you’d get pissed off and you didn’t need to. Because she took care of it right when it happened. Well, Tyler did. He was really, really, REALLY mad. She learned her lesson. I’m sure of it. He made her cry. Lots.”

“Did that happen a lot? Millie getting mouthy with your mom?”

“Not really.”

He stares pointedly down at her.

“A few times,” she reluctantly admits. “She said some things that were really mean. To mummy. And she said the F word once, too. Mixed with the B word.”

“She said that ? To your mom?”

Addie chews nervously on her bottom lip. “Yeah, she called her an f-ing B word.”

“What did mummy do?”

“She didn’t get a chance to do anything. Desi freaked out. And he’s really big and he can be really scary when he wants. Like you. Desi told her that she should never, ever talk to her mum like that. And that you’d be really mad if you found out. And that she’d rather deal with him than you. Which is true. Desi might be bigger than you, but you’re definitely tougher. I mean, he doesn’t kill people for a living. You do.”

“Things were pretty bad, huh? While I was gone.”

“A little. Millie went off the reservation. Big time. She’s lucky she’s even breathing. ‘Cause Tyler was ready to kill her. And I don’t blame him. You’re mad, aren’t you. Are you mad, daddy?”

“A bit.”

“You know how I can tell? That you’re mad? Your neck moves. Right here,” she reaches up to press to fingertips against the side of his throat. “Where the bad guy shot you a long time ago.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Mummy told me. I asked her how you got that scar. She said that a long time ago, her and Ovi were in trouble and you had to get them out of a really bad place. And then you made sure they were safe and sound, but a bad guy shot you. In the neck. And that’s why you have the scar there.”

“Did that scare you? Hearing that?”

“A little, I guess. I mean, you could have died, right?”

“I could have, yeah.”

“And then you and mummy never would have gotten married. And had kids. Millie would be the only one to exist. None of us would. So yeah, that part scared me a bit; that the bad guy could have killed and none of us ever would have been born. Did you kill him?”

“Eventually.”

“Mummy said she stayed with you. After it happened. And that she went back to Australia with you and that’s how she ended up there. It’s where you guys got married. And had Millie and me and Kota and Brookie. That we were the ones born there. So we’re REAL Australians, like you. Everyone else is American.”

“Everyone else WAS American. You’re all Australian now.”

“How does that work?”

“A lot of papers you have to fill out. To become a citizen. But you all are. Mummy and I made sure of it.”

“Is mummy an Australian too?”

“By marriage, yeah.”

“It’s a good thing she married you. You’re a lucky guy, daddy. That someone like mummy fell in love with you.”

“I am,” he confirms. “Very lucky. She’s a pretty good mummy, huh?”

“She’s the best mummy EVER. If we could pick our mummies, I’d pick her. Because she’s nice and she gives good cuddles and kisses and she tells the best silly jokes. And she’s super smart and really cute too. And little! Like me!”

“That’s where you get from. Being so cute and wee. You’re just like your mumma.”

Her eyes sparkle as she smiles broadly up at him; the corners and the bridge of her nose crinkle. “And that’s a good thing, yeah?”

“A very good thing,” Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he brushes the tip of his nose against hers; smiling at the way she throws her head back and giggles.

He’s seen her mother do that exact movement and expression a number of times; excitement while on the rides at Disney World with the kids, when she’s had one too many glasses of wine and even his terrible ‘dad jokes’ are suddenly hilarious, when they’ve been on one of their ‘mommy and daddy’ vacations and she’s gotten up the guts to try something new and exciting; emboldened by his encouragement and forever feeling safe and secure as long as he’s by her side. So much of Esme in the tiny little girl in front of him; tenacious and ferociously intelligent and loving deeply and fearlessly. Knowing the darkness and the horrors that exist in the world but not allowing herself to be tarnished by it; always finding ways to smile and laugh and find the beauty in every day.

“What do you think mummy would have done if she didn’t do the job she did?” Addie inquires, when she finally drops her head back down and he’s able to return to tending her hair.

“I don’t know. Teach? Be a nurse? Maybe a doctor?”

“How would you have met her? If she didn’t do her old job?”

“Maybe I would have met her on the beach. In Australia. Maybe she would have come there on a vacation.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you would have gone to where she used to live. In Chicago.”

“She used to live in Colorado. That’s where she was born and where she grew up. Chicago is a totally different place.”

“She used to live by the mountains. When I was in her tummy, you guys lived on a hobby farm. And you had goats and chickens. Mummy says we still own that house.”

“Yup, we do. We rent it out.”

“Can we go there one day? I’d like to see it. I’d like to see where you guys were living when I was in mummy’s belly. Is that where I was made?”

“We’re pretty sure that’s where it happened. Not many other places it could have been.”

“Maybe we can go and visit. And I can see where I was made. That would be fun. I want to see the mountains.”

“Maybe one day.” He finishes up the first braided pigtail, securing it with an impossibly small elastic before turning his attention to the other section of hair.

“If you met mummy a different way, would you have still liked her? Would you have still fallen in love with her?”

“Yup. Why wouldn’t have I? She still would have been mummy. She still would have been the same person. Still would have been the most beautiful girl ever.”

“Do you think she still would have fallen in love with you?”

“I sure as hell hope so. Would sure suck if she didn’t. Your mumma is pretty special, Peanut. She’s the love of my life. Took me until I was thirty five to meet her.”

“You were married before, though. To Austin's mom. You didn’t love her?”

“I did. But not in the way I love your mum. Your mum? That’s who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Grow really, really, REALLY old with. It’s a whole other kind of love. And you know what? It’s not easy to explain. You just know what you feel.”

“Imagine if things were opposite? If you went to Colorado and met mummy instead of her meeting you in Australia and working with you? And then you would have stayed there; where the snow and the mountains are instead of the beach and the ocean. How come you moved? Why didn’t you guys stay? Where the mountains are?”

“Things changed. We weren’t happy there anymore. We needed to get away. Go back to the place where we were the happiest.”

“In Australia?”

“Yup.”

“That’s where I’m happiest too. I love it there. I love how warm it is; the sun and the sand and the water. I like the sound it makes; listening to it when I’m trying to fall asleep. And I like how the beach feels; between my toes and when I let it run through my fingers. And I love my room and my toys and my school and my friends and all the goats and our pigs and our chickens. And Charlie. I love him the most. I love making him peanut butter sandwiches. I’d miss him the most. If we had to leave. We won’t have to leave will we, daddy?”

“I don’t see why we would have to.”

“I don’t ever want to leave Australia. It’s perfect there. It’s where I was born. And where you were born too. We have that in common. We were BOTH born there.”

“Yeah…” he grins, and presses a kiss to the back of her head. “...we were.”

“I mean, we have other stuff in common too. Because you’re my dad and that means you helped make me so that means half of me is half of you. The other half is from mummy. And we both love surfing. And animals. And Vegemite. I LOVE Vegemite. It’s sooooo good.”

“Speaking of Vegemite, was it you that left the Vegemite and Nutella sandwich for Santa?”

Addie giggles. “Maybe…”

“Why would you ever put the two of those together?”

“Tyler made it for his school lunch once and he let me try a bit and it was really good! So I thought Santa might like to try it. Part American, part Australian.”

“You know, that’s pretty genius. And it worked. I tried a bit and it wasn’t bad.”

“Right?! You wouldn’t think it would work, but it does. Somehow. Kind of like you and mummy.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“You and mummy are so different. You’re really tall and big and she’s really short and small. Like, you know how mummy is a morning person? She’s always really cheerful and smiley? And you’re not? You’re moody and miserable. A total grump face! And you don’t like to talk until you’ve had your first coffee. With three shots of espresso in it.”

“You notice all that stuff?”

“I notice everything. Mummy says I’m very observant. And that I have really good instincts. Like you. She says ‘cause my tummy tells me if something is right or wrong. And yours does too. You know how else you and mummy are different?”

“How?”

“Mummy talks to everyone! She’s very talky talky. A chatterbox.”

“Geez,” Tyler grins, and tugs playfully at the completed pigtail. “I wonder who ELSE is a chatterbox?”

“She’s a social butterfly. She makes friends everywhere she goes. People like her. Because she’s so bubbly and cute and she makes peoples hearts feel warm because she’s so nice to them. You’re more serious. You don’t talk a lot. At least not to people you don’t know. People are scared of you sometimes. Because how big you are and because you got all the drawings on you and the scars and stuff. They think you’re mean. ‘Cause of all that.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think you’re just daddy. I KNOW you’re not mean. I KNOW you’re a nice guy. I KNOW you give awesome hugs; your arms are big but they feel nice and they wrap all the way around me! If people really paid attention, they’d see that you’re nice. You have soft eyes. They’re blue and they’re pretty and they’re kind. Especially when you smile and they go all crinkly. If people really gave you a chance, they’d see you’re not scary at all. You’re only like that if you HAVE to be. If bad people are near mummy or us kids.”

“Are you ever scared of me?” It’s a recurring thought; if his children ever pick up on the worry and the tension and the fear that comes with his issues. It’s a feat some days; forcing himself out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Wanting nothing more than to stay under the covers and surrender to the exhaustion that comes with doing battle with his own mind every day. But his family is his number one priority, whether it’s a good day or a horrible one. And he’ll ‘fake it until he makes it’ as long as his children and his wife know that they’re loved; provided and cared for and made to feel safe and protected.

“Why would I be? Why would I be scared of my daddy?”

“Well, you know what I do for a living. You know what I’ve had to do to people. Does that scare you?”

“Nope. Because that’s just your job. It’s not who you are. When you come home, you’re just daddy. You take us bike riding and hiking and swimming and surfing. And you help us find rocks and shells and you let me sit on your shoulders when we walk on the beach or go into town. And we take naps. On the hammock. I love our naps on the hammock.”

He smiles. “So do I.”

“Sometimes I get a little worried. When you get upset. Or you and mummy argue. I don’t like when you guys argue. I always worry that you’ll hate each other. That you’ll get a divorce. And then you won’t live with us. It makes me sad when I think about that.”

“You don’t need to be sad, Peanut. That’s never going to happen. I’m never going to go and live somewhere else. I’m going to stay right where I am; with you guys and your mumma. And just because we argue? That doesn’t mean we’re going to hate each other. I could NEVER hate your mum. And I’m pretty sure she’d say the same thing about me. We love each other. Very much. Divorce is NOT something you need to think about. But do I ever scare you? Have I ever?”

“I don’t have a reason to be scared of you. Because you love me. You’d never hurt me. I never worry about that. Not even when you yell and your voice gets REALLY loud. I know you’d never do anything mean to me. Just to bad people. And I’m not a person. I’m a GOOD person.”

“You definitely are. You’re a VERY good person. An amazing little person.”

She smiles. “Like mummy.”

“Just like her. More than even I ever realized.”

******

“Addie…” TJ singsongs as he saunters into the kitchen, both hands tucked behind his back. “...what are you doing?”

“Tyler!” She cheerfully greets, and excitedly waves to him with both hands. Her entire face lighting up at the sight of her second favourite male in the house

She’s become extremely close to her oldest brother during her five years on earth; idolizing him and turning to him for help and comfort when daddy is either caught up with one of the other kids, tending to work related matters, or out of the house -and sometimes even the country- all together. And TJ dotes on her in return. Spoiling her and babying her ever since she was an infant and he was always more than willing to help change her diapers and give her feedings. In awe of how tiny she was and how she’d look up at him with so much adoration. He’s the quintessential older brother; patient and loving and ready to kick anyone’s ass that dares messes with her.

“Look at my dress! It’s the one I picked out when I went shopping for mommy. That I kept a secret. Isn’t it awesome?”

“Awesome just like you. It’s really pretty, Ads. Your favourite colour too!”

“Yup! Mummy bought it for me. She said it’s perfect for me. For my personality. It reminds me of Belle’s dress. From Beauty and the Beast.”

“Looks a little like it, I guess. But you know what? It’s even prettier. And you’re more beautiful than Belle. WAY more beautiful.”

“Really?” she gasps, and a noticeable blush creeps into her cheeks, spreading all the way to the tips of her ears. “You really think so?”

“I REALLY think so. Belle has nothing on you. You’re the prettiest princess EVER. Way prettier than ANY of them.”

“Oh goodness!” She clamps both hands over her mouth in embarrassment, then giggles into them. “Like mumma? Just as pretty as her? Mumma is the prettiest EVER.”

“Just a smaller version of her.” TJ leans in close and presses the tip of his nose against hers. “Guess what I have? What you forgot in my room?”

“Adeline!” she cries, when he reveals the item he’d been keeping behind his back. And she snags the doll from him and showers its head and face with kisses as she clutches it tightly to her chest. “Adeline! I’m sorry I forgot you! I didn’t mean to!”

“I kept her safe for you,” TJ says. “So Declan wouldn’t grab her. You know how he likes to get a hold of dolls and torture them. I didn’t want him getting her. She’s way too pretty and I know how much you love her.”

“He’s mean to my dolls! He’s always taking their heads off and putting their arms where their legs should be and crazy shit like that.”

“Hey,” Tyler frowns, and tugs on the half braided pigtail. “What did I say?”

“No bad language. Especially on Christmas Day. I can’t help it though; sometimes it just slips out. If you didn’t swear so much around us kids…”

“That’s it. Throw me under the bus.”

“You swear A LOT, daddy. Especially in the car. When other people don’t drive fast enough or use their blinkers. If mummy knew exactly how much you DO swear around us, she’d be mad. REALLY mad.”

“Your mum has a worse mouth than I do.”

“As if!” Addie scoffs, and he can’t help but smile; easily hearing Esme’s voice and picturing the expression on her face; the corner up her mouth and her nose scrunched up in disgust, eyes slightly narrowed. “Thank you, Tyler!” She curls an arm around her brother’s neck, squeezing as tight as she can. “You’re the best! Thank you for keeping her safe from the Ginger. You’re the best brother EVER! I only trust you with her. And daddy. That’s it. You guys are big and strong and will keep her safe no matter what.”

“What the hell are you wearing?” He addresses his son as the latter moves to the fridge, pausing in the braiding of Addie’s hair to survey TJ’s wardrobe a pair of ill fitting and impossibly baggy jeans, an enormous untucked dress shirt with its sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a loose pink, purple, and grey striped tie.

“Your pants. And one of your shirts.” TJ reaches into the fridge and grabs a carton of chocolate milk and a jug of white. Closing the door with his hip and carrying them to the counter by the sink; pouring a mix of both into a plastic tumblr retrieved from the dish rack and then snagging two straws from the cupboard. “Mum told me to. She said none of my clothes were good enough for Christmas dinner. All my jeans have holes in them and all t-shirts have to do with surfing. We’ve never had to dress up for Christmas dinner before. Why do we have to start now?”

“Your mum’s trying to make things perfect. To avoid drama. With your grandmother.”

“Too late. Grandma brings drama with her. And drops it on everyone else.” He drags a bar stool across the floor and places it in front of his little sister. “Here Ads,” he holds the cup in front of her. “A yellow straw just for you. So you don’t have to share my germs. Let me hold it; so you don’t spill anything on your dress.”

Giving a delighted squeal and a smile of appreciation, she takes a pull from the straw. “I think you look handsome, Tyler. You’re growing up. You’re going to be as big as daddy soon.”

“It’s going to be a while before I’m THAT big. But I’m going to work on it. As soon as I’m allowed, I’m going to lift heavy too and put on ALL kinds of muscle.”

“Then you can go after bad people too. And beat them up and kill them when you have to.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Tyler suggests. “Something tells me mummy might have an issue with that.”

“Why doesn’t mum just tell grandma to get lost?” TJ inquires. “It’s not like they like each other. They never have. They’ve always fought. I remember how they’d get into it at Christmas. When we were still living in Colorado. Grandma would get drunk and she’d pick fights with mum and mum would fight back and cry and then you’d go off on grandma. Is that going to happen this year? ‘Cause it’s been nice and quiet at Christmas. Do we HAVE to listen to grandma's shit?”

“What did I just tell your sister? About the language?”

“She’s five, but she’s right. It IS hard to stop and it does just come out. But do we, dad? Do we really have to put up with her?”

“It’s one night. I think you can manage. If I can grin and bear it, so can you. Suck it up.”

“If she starts in on mum about ANYTHING, I’m going to lose it. That’s my mum. No one talks to my mum like that. I almost taught Jacobi a lesson. For calling mum cute and wanting to ask her out. I’ll teach grandma a lesson too. I’m not afraid of her.”

“If anyone is going to teach her a lesson, it’s going to be me. You stay out of it. Your mum wouldn’t want you getting into it with her. You’re TEN.”

“Doesn’t matter how old I am. That’s MY mum. And no one is going to treat her bad. We’re supposed to protect her, remember? You and I.”

“You’re supposed to be a kid and stay that way as long as you can. I’M supposed to protect your mom. And I think I’ve been pretty damn good at it for the last twelve and a half years. And if your grandma starts? I’ll stop it. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Why does she hate you so much anyway? Is it still the same crap? How she’s pissed because you stole mum away from her family and moved her all the way to Australia? ‘Cause you got her pregnant before you married her?”

Addie scowls. “Who cares? Lots of people have babies and they aren’t married. And so what if mummy didn’t go back home and she stayed with daddy? She’s an adult. She can do what she wants. And she wanted to be with daddy. None of grandma’s business. I’mma tell her that too. If she starts saying mean things about daddy or mummy. I’mma tell her what for.”

“You’re not going to do a thing,” Tyler informs her. “You’re going to leave all the telling off to me, got it?”

“I don’t like her,” Addie says. “She’s not a nice person. She has a mean smile. And her eyes are empty. They don’t sparkle or anything like that. Are you sure that’s mummy’s mummy? Because when mummy smiles, her eyes sparkle. She LOOKS happy. Grandma? She just looks mean.”

“No one likes her,” TJ grumbles. “Best thing we ever did was get away from her. But IS that why, dad? Is that really why she doesn’t like you? Because she still thinks you stole mum and took her all the way to Australia?”

“It’s a few things.”

“I bet it’s the job too. I bet she really has a problem with THAT.”

“Again…” Addie huffs dramatically. “...who cares? So what if daddy kills people? They’re BAD. They deserve it. He helps good people and sometimes when he’s helping them, he has to kill the bad guys. I don’t see a problem with that. If they try and hurt him or kill him, he HAS to kill them first. So he can come home. To us. And mummy. It only makes sense.”

“If Ads can get it, ANYONE can,” TJ says. “She’s only five. What’s grandma? A hundred? If a five year old can get it…”

“Daddy makes the world a better place because he gets rid of the bad people,” Addie continues, as she takes another sip of the drink her brother offers her. “If we had less bad people, everything would be great. There’d be less wars and less people getting hurt and everyone would love one another and be happy. Daddy’s doing a good thing. By sticking up for people. Like you do. At school. You beat up the bullies when you have to. Remember the older kid that tripped me and shoved my face in the mud? Remember him? He’s in grade eight AND you kicked the crap out of me. Because he picked on me.”

“You’re my sister. It’s my job to protect you.”

“And remember that other guy? On the playground by mummy’s store? The one that pulled my hair and told me I was adopted because I’m small and I don’t look like any of you guys. You freaked out on him and made him apologize and scared him away. He’ll cross the street now if he sees you coming.”

“You can’t let bad people get away with doing bad things,” TJ reasons. “If you don’t stop them, they’ll just keep doing bad stuff.”

“Exactly! So it’s a good thing that daddy goes after the bad guys. Grandma needs to learn. And she needs to learn TODAY. You should tell her, Tyler. You should tell her off. You’re not scared of anyone.”

“Not being scared of anyone or anything is not always a good thing,” Tyler informs her. “If you’re not scared, you don’t take a situation or people seriously. That’s when you get hurt. And you know what? No matter how big of a bad ass you think you are? There’s always a bigger one out there somewhere. Believe me. I’ve learned THAT lesson the hard way.”

“The guy who shot you just got a lucky one in,” TJ reasons. “You were already hurt. You weren’t one hundred percent. Some guy had already shot you, hadn’t he? A sniper?”

“What’s a sniper?” Addie inquires. “Is it like Swipper on Dora? Something like him?”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” Tyler says. “You don’t need to know that stuff. Not until you’re older. WAY older.”

“A sniper’s a guy that hides somewhere and shoots you,” TJ replies. “Somewhere where no one sees him. It’s why they’re so dangerous. You don’t even know where they are. They just shoot you. And they kill you before you even know what happened.”

“But daddy didn’t get killed. If a sniper shot daddy, shouldn’t he be dead?”

Combing his hand through her bangs, Tyler tips his daughter’s head back. “What did I just say? About you not needing to know about this stuff?”

“I’m curious now. Tyler said they hide and shoot people and kill them. How come you didn’t die? If a sniper shot you?”

“I guess he didn’t manage to get a good shot in.”

“It was the other guy that almost killed him,” TJ says, and takes a sip of the concoction in his hand. “The one that got him in the neck. That’s when he almost died. Mum saved him.”

“How? How did mummy save daddy? Daddy…” she swivels around in her stool to face him. “...how did mummy save you? Did she shoot the bad guy back?”

“Mum stuck her fingers in his neck,” TJ says. “To stop the bleeding. Or he would have bled to death.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “She DID?”

“When you’re older, MAYBE I’ll tell you more more about it. But for now…” Tyler places his hands on her shoulders and gently turns her back around. “...you don’t need to know this stuff. And you…” he stares pointedly at his son. “...don’t talk about this around her. She doesn’t need to know about this. She’s a baby still.”

“I’m not a baby!” Addie objects. “I’m five! I can almost ride my bike without training wheels. Babies can’t do that.”

“Just don’t, alright?” He addresses TJ. “Don’t talk about this stuff around her. Because she’s going to repeat all of this and she’s going to repeat it to your mum and that won’t end well. For you OR me.”

“It happened though. I mean, it’s part of how you guys met and got together and ended up getting married and stuff. It’s your history. I don’t see why…”

“I said ENOUGH. No more. Not around her. Got it?” He’s on edge; the mere mention of Dhaka and the incidents on the bridge playing straight into the anxiety and the panic he’d felt the night before; when he’d woken up from the nightmare and been on the verge of losing control and had turned to the fentanyl for relief. And it scares him; how easy it had been to not only access the powerful med, but actually take it. He’d encountered no resistance or hesitation; remorse and guilt not setting in until the following morning when he’d woken up and it had been the first thing on his mind. It’s alarming how quick things can return; an addict’s mind and behaviour.

Nodding, TJ holds his hands up in surrender.

“You’re both going to be nice tonight,” he says, and finishes Addie’s final braid. “To grandma. Because your mum is already stressed out enough and we don’t need to make it worse for her. So if the best you can do is smile and nod, just do that. I’m not asking you to kiss her ass. I’m just asking you to be civil. Can you handle that?”

TJ nods.

“You?” He tugs on one of Addie’s pigtails. “Can you do that? Be civil?”

“Do I have to be near her? Or sit on her lap? ‘Cause I draw the line there.”

“You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just don’t be a little asshole, alright?”

“Me? I’m Mary Freaking Sunshine, remember? That’s what Grandpa Koen calls me.”

“Well then live up to it and be nice to your grandmother. Smile until your face hurts, got it?”

“What do I get out of it?”

He smirks.

“Mummy says to always negotiate. Never settle for the first offer. Can I sleep in the big bed tonight? For being nice to grandma?”

“No.” Wrapping an arm around her waist, he lifts her off the stool; pressing a kiss to her cheek before setting her on the ground.

She turns to face him. Head cocked to the side and one hand clutching her doll, the other planted firmly on her hip. “Can I have ice cream for my bedtime snack?”

"Maybe."

“Maybe isn’t good enough.”

“You ARE just like your mom, aren’t you.”

“I’ll be nice if I can have ice cream for my bedtime snack and you snuggle with me and draw on my back for half an hour. And that’s after FOUR stories.”

“You're bossy, you know that? Two stories.”

“Three. That’s as low as I’ll go.”

“I will give you two stories, ice cream for your snack, and forty five minutes of snuggling and drawing on your back. Instead of half an hour. We got a deal?”

Her eyes narrow as she considers it; nibbling on her bottom lip and swishing her hips back and forth. “You’re good at this.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Peanut. I’ve dealt with tougher than you. What do you say?” He offers a hand. “Deal?”

“Deal!” she agrees, his hand easily swallowing hers as they shake on it.

Grinning, he runs a hand over the top of her head and then drops a kiss on her hair. “You really DO have a lot of your mum in you.”

“Great things come in small packages,” Addie reasons, standing on her tiptoes as he leans down and pecks her lips. “Thank you, daddy!” she chirps. “My hair looks beautiful. You always do it perfect.”

“Pretty hard not to when my subject is so cute. Good thing I married your mum, huh? So I could have a kid as cute as you?”

“You really are a lucky man!” she declares and then cheerfully skips out of the room.

“I hope grandma is on her best behaviour,” TJ says, as he finishes the drink in his hand and then slides off the stool and returns it to its place at the island. “Because if she DOES start on mum, it’s going to be a wild night. I really hope she watches her step.”

“My too, kiddo,” Tyler sighs, and reaches out to tousle his son’s hair. “Me too.”

#Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Extraction fan fiction

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bubblesthemonsterartist · 4 years

Text

*cracks knuckles* Clearly I’m going straight for the Blackout.

ENJOY, FRIENDS. FOR YOU, I THROW IT UNDER THE CUT

Under 1000 Words

take my burdens (and bury them deep) by @thelionshymnal Rated M Nothing makes me happier than a fic of my favorite BroTP, especially when Obi is offering to disappear Kiki’s dirty dealings. Content warning for attempted sexual assault and Obi doing what he does best: getting rid of the body.

A Fic That Got You Involved In Fandom

Seven Suitors for Shirayuki by @sabraeal Rated T Look. You all are just going to have to accept that there is a certain generation of this fandom that was dragged in, kicking and screaming, by this fic. I wanted to diversify by saying something else managed it, but no. It was the fact that this story was stuck on chapter five for MONTHS that made me vibrate until my own fic fell out. XD

Made You Laugh Out Loud

An Extra Rise Before Dawn by @sabraeal Rated G I don’t often worry that I am going to pee from laughing so hard when I’m reading something, but this one definitely does. In one spot in particular. You might be able to guess it. It is simultaneously an incredible sweet and incredibly funny fic that hits all the right notes for me.

Favorite Trope Reversal

Fussing with Firedrakes by @leewritingrecs Rated T 1) Dragons. 2) Damsel in distress is no damsel and she is NOT in distress thank you very much 3) Kiki is a DRAGON 4) Obi is cursed, and 5) DID I MENTION D R A G O N S ???

Fic That Made You Friends With the Author

The Wide Florida Bay by @sabraeal Rated E I had to think about this because while I read Seven Suitors first, this was the series that made me start sending anons and eventually made me join tumblr where I proceeded to endlessly play the ‘what if’ game with Jen. CLEARLY this is where our friendship was forged.

Action-Packed Fight Scene

Agent, Parts I, II, and III by @infinitelystrangemachinex Rated T Like Jen, I was positively torn, because both Andi and Sarah do fight scenes SO WELL, but Agent ultimately won out because there is just something so delightful about Shirayuki flailing and clinging to Obi like a cat that doesn’t want to go in the bath while arrows zip all around them

Edit: Screw it, I’m reccing them both

Republic of Tanbarun by @claudeng80 Rated T An action adventure series where romance is involved but is by no means the focus. Zen and Obi adventures abound. Politics galore. And some masterfully done slow-motion to quick motion fight scenes that I L O V E D

Gen Fic

Fugue in Three by @infinitelystrangemachinex Rated G Ryuu casually destroys Obi and Shirayuki by breathing as they count down the days until he comes of age. Technically this fic has a romantic pairing, but it is by no means the focus of this fic. If you don’t agree, you are welcome to meet me under the Big Oak between the hours of 12 and 4 for a duel.

Missing Scene

Like Brothers Do by @claudeng80 Rated G Obi is clearly Kiki’s annoying big brother and handles Mitsuhide’s rejection in the best way he knows how. Also read: Mitsuhide gets what’s coming to him. (ง'̀-'́)ง

Canon Divergent

We work at the mall by @kaedix Rated T With how many AUs we got floating around this fandom, I was hard pressed to choose a favorite. But there is just something so sweet and wholesome and American teenager about this. It just latches onto you and never lets go. (Also the gang all work at my favorite places in the mall when I was growing up. What’s not to love?)

Steamiest Kiss

Were Hearts Not An Unknown Country by @sabraeal Rated T LOOK. SOMEONE was going to have to go dig this out of the rubble of her compilation fics and it might as well be me. Also the birthplace of the much loved AnS fandom practice of solstice kissing.

Contains Your Favorite Headcanon

The road to Clarines is Gravel by @codango Rated E Not the focus of the fic as a whole, but like, Torou and Obi are siblings. GALAXY MIND EXPLOSION. I mean, I loved that so much that I wrote a pre-canon fic of this fic. Additional note totally not related to the bingo square: I will ALWAYS be here for positive sex worker representation in fics. Fair warning, though, this is the most unfair AU in existence because the brain screams that it SHOULDN’T WORK and yet by some sort of writerly sorcery, it DOES. PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY.

Wept Real Tears

let it make you by @thelionshymnal Rated M It’s not every day that someone manages to write a fic that makes me stare numbly at the very first line for a solid 15 minutes, big fat tears rolling down my cheeks, but Hymn did it. And then she somehow managed to kiss it better. All in 1100 words.

Free Space

AnS Role Swap AU by @owlsshadows Rated M This series has it all. Shirayuki as an assassin. Obi as both a royal bastard and a pharmacist. A mysterious meeting out in the woods where it makes you question whether Nanaki and Obi are two different people or the same. Also Zen having some very conflicted feelings regarding his royal authority and how he can choose to handle rejection.

Edit: Since I’ve already doubled up once, let me double up again, I have so much love to give and not enough space to give it!

Blizzard by @nebluus Rated T This is one of the earliest fics I read in this fandom and it remains to date one of my absolute favorites. Obi gets hurt protecting his Miss and a blizzard rolls in. Thankfully they find a cabin where Obi, who is definitely on his death bed if no one finds them and SOON, proceeds to still fuss over his Miss. Best scene: When he warms her hands with his. Also the second chapter is all sorts of delightful domesticity I IMPLORE you to please read it and soon.

Favorite Fan-Made OC

All Pain Will Turn to Medicine by @sabraeal Rated M All y’all should’ve seen these coming from ten miles out. I fucking LOVE Herr Anda, the cantankerous little bastard. And Jen knows this because she designed him specifically with me in mind. Academic catnap >:|

AU That Made You Find the Source Material

All Knotted Up by @sabraeal Rated G Admittedly, there are a great many AUs out there that made me look up the source material, but this Tangled AU is the most recent because I finally got on Disney+. And yes, Mitsuhide is the horse. Ryuu may be Pascal a little bit, but Mitsuhide. He’s The Horse. XD

First AnS Fic You Read

Loyalty by Evelyn Fiedler Rated K+ (which is basically G on AO3) My one and only ff.net rec from my earliest days in the fandom when I was combing for absolutely any content I could find, begging the fandom to help me decide if I was down for Obiyuki and all that it implied and this author most assuredly delivered.

Favorite Minor Character

Undertow by @jhalya Rated E The fic itself is a space odyssey of sorts. One mission among many where humanity attempts to colonize Mars. However the real selling point here, if you didn’t know, is Lord Seiran. He is a delightfully eccentric billionaire who clearly always wanted a large family, judging from how easily he fills out the adoption paperwork.

WIP

Caulk dirty to me by @leewritingrecs Rated E Have I mentioned I love the sex worker trope? I. Love. The. Sex. Worker. Trope. Also Obi is clearly divine at all of his jobs. Shirayuki already got to experience his skills at one of them. I wait with BAITED BREATH for her to experience the other :3

Canon Compliant

Thicker than Blood by @infinitelystrangemachinex Rated G In the aftermath of the death of King Kain, Izana and Zen must decide on which path they will take moving forward. Amazing fic. Unfinished, but a wonderful look into the dynamics between the Wisteria brothers and their absent mother.

One-Shot

Worth his Weight in Rice by @claudeng80 Rated T AU set in an Edo-adjacent Period where a disease has wiped killed off a significant portion of the male population. Resulting societal shifts occur. If you go into the comments, I have a couple of pages worth of reasons why I love this AU, but what I appreciate even more is how you have an absolutely perfect oneshot in this fic. It is a well-translated universe where we get a delightful clear, beginning, middle, and end, all in 5k. NOT an easy feat. Please enjoy.

Rare Pair

the fog pushing through my mind by @thelionshymnal Rated E Obi/Yuzuri, friends with benefits. Two pining idiots with some sore feelings decide to get stoned and take comfort in another warm body for the night. I just really enjoyed the casual intimacy of the encounter and how this is clearly neither of their first experiences with a one night stand. Neither of them are going to make it weird in the morning, they just need to take the edge off, ya know? Additional bonus for Obi being ready to stab the dumbasses who made Yuzuri feel like she was a weirdo in her past.

AU You Took a Chance On (And Now Love)

Lightning in a Bottle by @jhalya Rated M I mean, if Jules is gonna play dirty by making Obi the hot fish man running around without his shirt on 99% of the time, then of COURSE I’m going to enjoy Deep Blue Sea. It’s, like, one of my favorite movies now.

Favorite Trope

Moonshine Phantom by @leewritingrecs Rated T We got a murder muffin who ALSO used to be a sex worker? Sign me the fuck up, I am 1000% here for this. Also all the showgirls who clearly love their coworker and only want him and his adorable wife to have the best. They may have never heard of her before, but she looks sweet, and they all have a silent agreement between them that if she breaks his heart, they’ll cut her.

Fic That Gave You a New OTP

What the Heart Wants by @sabraeal Rated G Haruto/Mukaze. An attempted kidnapping and subsequent rescue makes Zen and Shirayuki painfully aware that their parents have had, at some point in their lives, sex. Izana may not be happy about someone banging his mom, but is HE rather pleased at having a new sister. >:3c

Pre-Canon

The Wolf in the Woods by @krispy-kream (YES I STILL HAVE THIS BOOKMARKED) Rated G Everyone knows that I have very delicate food feels and this ALMOST went under the Wept Real Tears category, but I like to spread out the crying as much as possible XD Shirayuki finds a boy at the edge of the wood and decides he needs something to eat. Filed under: Guaranteed to wreck me in 500 words or less.

#ansficbingo #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #PLEASE ENJOY ALL THE PRETTY FICS #I LOVE THEM ALL AND HOLD THEM DEAR

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animasolaoriginal · 4 months

Text

(6) I n n o c e n c e L o s t

GENERAL TAGS: NSFW! Explicit! Size difference, age gap, slow burn romance. Cowboys, outlaws, prostitutes. Historical inaccuracy. Horses, guns, violence.

Chapter 1▫️2▫️3▫️4▫️5▫️6▫️7▫️8▫️9▫️10▫️11▫️12▫️13 ...

Chapter 6: The Flight

m!OC x f!OC -- WORDS: 6.6k -- READ ON AO3

when a girl doesn't know what's going on

Chapter 5 -- Chapter 7

His voice is low and quiet in the night, her mind fuzzy from sleep. “We gotta go.”

“What?” Her eyes fly open, her heart instantly hammering against her ribs. “Where? What do you mean?” She sits up, scrambles closer to him, gripping his thumb as his hand closes around hers.

He pulls her towards him, and then off the bed. He's fully dressed, while she feels the cold night air wafting over her naked body. She looks up at the large shadow in front of her, then looks around, sees the outlines of bags and pouches near the door. What's happening?

“Get dressed,” he tells her, gently holding her elbow as he watches her. “We have to hurry.” His words cause her to inhale sharply, even though there is no urgency in his voice. He's calm, surprisingly calm and patient with her, while she stands on shaking legs and wonders where left and right is, where anything is.

“I...” She looks around, wiping at her tired eyes. “My clothes are...” A memory hits her like a kick in the stomach. She gasps, pressing her free hand onto her belly, feels the slight ache, the bruise, the pain as the boot has hit her. “B-baths,” she stammers, her chest rising and falling faster, her lungs tightening. It is hard to breathe. The hand on her stomach moves up to between her breasts, clenches into a fist, urges the air to make it into her body, but she can only gasp, like a fish on land.

Ben's hands are on her upper arms, holding her as he leans closer to her. She looks up at him, helplessly, lips parted and trembling. The lines on his face are deep. He grabs her head, then pulls her against his warm chest, holds her tightly, squeezes the panic out of her. But it's only for a moment, and not nearly enough to dispel the shaking from her limbs.

He lets her go then, left to her own devices, the memory assaulting her spinning mind. Breathing is still hard, but she tries to focus on what he's doing. He rummages through the dresser, pulls out various clothes, inspects them, shakes his head, sighs, pulls out more. When he finally turns back to her, she's sunken to the edge of the bed, white-knuckling the sheets, forcing herself to breathe deeply.

He hands her some clothes, but she can barely lift her arms, let go of the bed, so he helps her dress. Gentle, his hands guiding her limbs, he pulls a thin, long-sleeved shirt over her head, carefully freeing her long hair once he's done, letting it cascade down her shoulders. The black shirt (a man's undershirt?) sits a little loose, but it covers her up completely. Rolling up the way too long sleeves, he watches her closely, and she looks back, focusing on his handsome face, the lines and creases, the beard, the shape of his lips.

When he's finished, he urges her to stand, and she does, then lifts her leg a little, one after the other, as he helps her into a pair of long-legged jeans. The waistband is wide and sits strangely high on her waist, bulging around her hips and loins. He huffs an amused little laugh and turns around, grabs a belt and snakes it through the loops, then pulls it tight around her, not too tight, but enough for it to stay above her hips. He knots the soft leather belt and tilts his head, looks down.

She does too. The pants legs are so long, she looks and feels like a child, too tiny to fit into any adult clothes. But she is an adult, isn't she? After the law? She doesn't feel like it. Ben crouches down in front of her, and she has to grab his broad shoulders to keep her balance as he starts rolling up the jeans legs until she can see her feet again. They bunch around her ankles in a thick roll.

He frowns at the sight, then sighs and unrolls them again, before he shifts on his knees and grabs a pair of scissors from the shelf behind him. Carefully cutting off the excess fabric, he nods to himself, while she watches him, still too sleepy to react, too afraid to move, too confused about what's going on. The cut hem of the jeans is rough, but it'll do.

He looks at her bare feet for a moment, mumbling: “We'll find you shoes somewhere... you gotta go without them for now...” She nods.

Finally, he stands back up, towering over her, she follows his movements, chin tilting up, eyes roaming his frame. She sees him packing the scissors into a small shoulder bag. His gaze is back on her, and he turns around to the clothes hanging from the shelf and grabs one of those button-ups, the thicker kind, it has a plaid pattern, and when he drapes it over her shoulders, slips her arms into it, it feels warm and soft. He leaves it open, unbuttoned.

“Ben?” she whispers when he's done dressing her. “What's going on?”

He looks at her, gently grabbing her small hand between his bigger ones, cradling it softly. “We have to leave. It's not safe here anymore,” he explains quietly, squeezing her hand carefully before letting go and walking towards the door.

“Is it... because of...” she stammers, watching him, gripping the wide hem of the shirt. “...what happened yesterday?” Her voice is barely audible, shaking badly, her heart throbs inside her throat, making it harder to breathe again. He looks back at her, clenching his jaw.

One stride of his long legs, and he's back in front of her, his hands grabbing her face with a force that makes her inhale sharply as he tilts her head up to meet his eyes. “You can't stay here, for multiple reasons,” he says quietly, his gaze hard, a deep crease between his thick eyebrows. “I'll explain everything later, okay? Now we really have to go.”

She stares at him, not understanding anything, but she nods into his hands, inhaling deeply, pushing the lump further down her throat by swallowing hard. Ben leans closer and presses his lips to her forehead, the warmth of his mouth, however short the touch is, leaves a pleasant feeling that slowly travels down her body.

He lets go of her and grabs the bags by the door, slinging the larger one over his shoulder before he hands a smaller one to her. She takes it, then snakes one arm through the strap and adjusts the bag hanging from her hip. Once all bags are somewhere on his body, he stops at the door, and she sees him clenching his jaw. He turns back to her and fishes something out of the front pocket of his jeans.

“Here, take this,” he says and grabs her hand, turns it palm up and places a small, long metal object on it. She frowns at it. “It's a switchblade,” he explains, taking it back to demonstrate to her what he means. His thumb pushes against the edge of the object, and it flips into a longer shape, a sharp blade snapping out of its body. A little gasp escapes her. “Just for emergencies.”

His eyes are on her as he pushes the blade back together, concealing the sharp edge, and puts it on her palm again. She stares at it, chewing on her lip, then nods. “Okay,” she whispers and slips the hidden blade into the pocket of her borrowed jeans. It feels heavy, making the pants sag a little, but the tight belt around her waist holds them up.

“Brave little girl,” he whispers suddenly, and when she looks up at him, he smiles down at her, a glint in his dark eyes. The faint hint of a dimple grazes his bearded cheek.

She feels the corners of her mouth twitching, but the moment is gone as soon as he grabs her hand and places his other one on the doorknob, unlocking it with swift fingers. There he hesitates. Nebbia watches him, his large hand warm around hers.

He looks towards the window then, his jaw working. When he lets go of her hand again, she frowns. He suddenly grabs the edges of the dresser half concealing the broken window pane and drags it over the old floorboards until it sits right in front of the door, locking them in. Her frown deepens. “What –”

With a little huff of a laugh, he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards him as he guides them towards the open window. She freezes as soon as she looks down. It's at least a ten foot drop, and the little awning below the window a slick, moss-covered ramp right into her doom. “No,” she gasps, sinking her fingernails into his arm.

He grabs her shoulders and turns her towards him. “I probably should have asked this sooner,” he mumbles before he bends down a little to meet her eye level. “Do you trust me?” he then asks, dark eyes looking at her in earnest, eyebrows raised a little.

She swallows hard, but there's no doubt in her mind. She's followed him here without hesitation, without second-guessing anything. Because it has felt right. “Yes,” she breathes. “I trust you...”

He straightens, exhaling loudly. “I don't know why you would do that, but I'm glad you do,” he says with a smirk. He squeezes her shoulder lightly, then steps past her. “I'll go first, you follow, okay?”

“O-okay,” she whispers, the mere idea of climbing out of a second-floor window into literal darkness causing shivers to rush through her small body.

And then the mountain of a man, laden with bags and pouches, squeezes himself through the open window, carefully stepping onto the little roof, leaning down to grab the edge with one hand, bending at the knees, before he takes a quick jump and vanishes into the night, out of sight, and only a soft thud is heard when he lands on the ground below.

“Come on,” she hears him hissing.

For a moment she is frozen in place, her limbs refusing to move, to follow, to jump down. She can already feel the vertigo in her mind, and she isn't even out of the window yet. And it's dark. How can her mind be afraid of this height when it can't even see the ground? Or is it because she can't see the ground that it assumes it's far deeper than it is?

“Nebbia!” His voice echoes quietly through the night and cuts through her frantic thoughts. Inhaling deeply, she lifts her leg and climbs over the low windowsill, white-knuckling the frame as she steps onto the roof. “It's easier if you sit down and slide,” Ben's voice comes through the haze inside her head.

She nods, even though he can't see her, and awkwardly squats down, her hands sliding down the old window frame, and when she feels something sharp cutting into her palm, she winces, lets go and shrieks quietly when she slides down a little, but her bare feet on the old metal panels catch her fall with a squeak. She feels her soles burning and her palm throbbing, hot blood pumping out of the cut. Trying to ignore the pain, she keeps going, inching closer to the edge in that strange crab-walk until she can see Ben standing just below her, his arms reaching towards her when he sees her.

“I'll catch you, come on,” he whispers.

She takes a shuddering breath and plops down fully, letting her legs dangle off the edge. Her hands grip around it, and the sudden sting rushing through her nerves helps in pushing her forward, literally. With a jolt she leans in, lets go and slips off the roof.

A shrill shriek escapes her as she falls freely for a fraction of a second before she feels Ben's large hands grab at her, holding her, and she lands against him with a thud, making him stumble backwards slightly. Her arms wrap around his neck as she clings to him, feet off the ground, body flat to his, heart thundering inside her chest.

He sets her down and pries her arms away from him, then hisses sharply through his teeth when he sees her bleeding hand. A grunt escapes him, but he doesn't say anything else as he holds her hand palm up in his larger one, fingers curled around it carefully, then pushes a hand into his pouch and grabs a roll of gauze, shoving it into her uninjured hand. She is still shaking from the jump, confused and in pain, but too numb to do anything, so she just watches him as he slides his hand into another bag and gets out a bottle of alcohol.

She frowns slightly when he uncorks it with his thumb and then takes a swig, the smell so familiar to her she inhales deeply, remembering the first time she's met him, a little over twenty-four hours ago. He holds the bottle to her, but she shakes her head, and he shrugs. “Put your hand on your mouth,” he tells her quietly, and she furrows her brows. “Come on, we don't have time, darling!”

Pressing her free hand to her mouth, she stares at him with wide eyes, unsure what's about to happen. He holds her injured hand tightly, then brings the alcohol closer to the deep cut. The pain throbs with every rapid heartbeat, blood gushing out in the same rhythm. She feels faint, can barely breathe through her nose. It gets worse when she feels a sudden sting, a horrible burning sensation, when Ben pours some of the liquid over her wound.

Her shriek is muffled by her hand, and she jerks her arm away, trying to break free from his grasp, but he keeps holding her hand until he's cleaned it. Her head is spinning, quiet sobs escaping her as the first tears burn their way down her cheeks. The pain subsides slowly, and she watches him wrapping the gauze around her hand, her breaths frantic and loud through her nose while she keeps her hand on her mouth.

He ties the ends together in a little bow, then cradles her hand between his larger ones, looking down at her. “Are you okay?”

She nods, slowly lowering her hand, taking deep breaths past her parted lips. “Th-thank you...”

“We haven't even left the camp yet,” he says with a sigh and a chuckle, shaking his head as he grabs her uninjured hand and gently pulls her along, pushing the half-empty bottle back into his bag as he walks. “This is going to be interesting...”

They sneak along the trees surrounding the camp, far away from the tents and wagons, keeping to the shadows. It's a moon-lit night, and she can see surprisingly far over the meadow ahead of them. He's headed for the large horse at the edge of the forest, but before they enter the little enclosure, he stops and drops her hand again.

“Stay close,” he whispers under his breath, and she nods, following him as he sneaks off towards a tent she hasn't noticed before. It holds all the saddles for the horses, halters, bridles and blankets, additional reins and stirrups, saddle bags and other horse riding equipment. He grabs a blanket, then a bridle and reins, throwing the leather straps over his shoulder, before he steps towards one of the bigger saddles that hang over long horizontal posts, and she remembers the horn she's clung to, and the slope of the seat, and how it's made her slip right between his legs, against his – “Come on!”

Clearing her throat softly, she bites her lip and follows him out of the tent as he carries the saddle along the edge of the meadow towards Thunder. The giant horse, a black shadow in the night, snorts quietly as they approach, and she watches with growing fascination how Ben throws the saddle onto his large back and expertly fixes it around the horse's body.

She wiggles her toes through the short grass of the meadow while he moves on to remove the halter from Thunder's long face to replace it with a different one. There's a little clanging sound as he pushes the metal bar of the bridle between the horse's teeth and then the rest of it over the animal's large ears, fiddling with the leather bands to make it fit perfectly. His long fingers move quick, like he's done this all his life – which he probably has. The big beast stands patiently, barely moving, and lets him work, and she keeps watching Ben as he ties the large bag and the blanket to the back of the saddle.

Once he's done, he pats the horse's neck affectionately, then moves his eyes towards her. His face is set, neutral, but a little dark, and he seems to listen to the noises of the night for a moment. It's very quiet, almost too quiet, the croaking of the frogs is muffled in the distance, the insects seem to take a chirping break, and only the wind rustles through the leaves of the nearby trees.

Then there's a different noise to their right, the snap of a branch, a little groan, leaves rustling. Ben's head snaps towards the sound, and she freezes, instinctively moving closer to him. His hand finds her waist almost as naturally. He doesn't seem to be too alarmed by it, though. Looking up at him, she sees him clenching his jaw, then meeting her gaze as he looks back. “Ready?” he whispers, and without knowing what for, she nods.

He grabs her waist, his big hands splayed along her sides, and lifts her up effortlessly, and while she holds her breath, trying to ignore the new wave of vertigo, she opens her legs mid-motion so she can sit down on the saddle with one leg on each side, the too-large jeans bunching slightly around her slim limbs. She grabs the horn, and only seconds later, Ben hoists himself up behind her, nudging his boots into the stirrups and moving his arms around her to grab the reins.

She settles between his thighs, scooting back against him, feeling his muscles flex when he spurs Thunder on, and the giant horse starts moving slowly, his hooves stomping quietly over the meadow as Ben guides him towards the edge of the forest where there's a little path leading through it. Out of camp.

Inhaling deeply, she white-knuckles the horn of the saddle, holding on desperately, even though she feels the sting of her wound through the bandage, wanting badly to hold onto Ben instead, but he rests his hands with the reins loosely on her hips, the touch warm, but not close enough, too casually, not nearly as comforting as his hand on her stomach, holding her against him. Now she has to squeeze her thighs around the horse to hold herself up and keep herself from falling off. And she already feels her legs trembling from exertion even though it has only been a few yards.

Thunder moves towards the path, and there Ben stops him with a short, gentle jolt of the reins. The horse snorts and bows his head, stomping his hooves idly. She turns her head to look over her shoulder at the big man behind her. He's tilting his head as he looks at something down in the grass. Following his gaze, she flinches when she realizes that there's a man sleeping on the ground, snoring slightly. Not the man, though, she thinks when a different face pops up in her memory, leering down at her angrily.

“That's how they got in,” Ben murmurs, and she wonders what he means. He inhales deeply, his chest moving against her back, before he fumbles with his bag and pulls out the open bottle of alcohol. He extends his arm and drops it to the man's side, it lands with a thud and falls over, spilling its contents in the dirt. “You didn't see anything, huh?” he mutters, and she sees him looking back towards the house.

When Thunder starts moving again, she grips onto his forearm, pulling it against her to steady herself. He shifts the reins into his other hand and slips his fingers over her stomach before he curls them around her waist, holding her gently against him. “Why did you leave the bottle?” she whispers as they start to traverse the narrow path through the trees.

“To be honest, I wanted to knock whoever was on guard duty tonight out with it, but that lazy bastard beat me to it, so why not leave the source for his heedlessness next to him, huh?” A deep, short laugh rumbles out of him and makes her body shake slightly as well.

“Ben, who got in?” she then asks quietly, pressing both of her hands to his forearm, feeling the muscles flex beneath his skin.

He sighs quietly. “Bad men,” he replies in a dark whisper, his thighs twitching when he spurs Thunder on to move quicker. The horse falls into a lazy trot, making them bounce slightly on the saddle. Her fingernails dig into his arm. “They were looking for –”

“Me?” she finishes in a little gasp.

“Yes,” he growls against her. “And me. That's how they've found us. Someone must have recognized me in the brothel, then put two and two together when you were gone the next morning. I was stupid,” he adds in a low hum. “I'm sorry, sweetheart.”

“Don't be, I'm glad you were, I mean, I'm glad you took me with you,” she says with a turn of her head when the wind picks up around them as the forest opens up to a wider field. The darkness is slightly denser around them now. “But I'm sorry I caused you... trouble... I... I'm sorry you had to leave your camp... for me...”

He leans closer, resting his chin on her shoulder, his rough cheek rubbing against her soft skin. “You didn't cause me any trouble, baby,” he breathes against her, tightening his grip around her middle. “We'll come back when the dust has settled.”

She shivers deeply, holding her breath as the warmth of his touch floods through her body. “S-so... where are we g-going?” she stammers, unable to move with how close he is. He keeps rubbing his face against hers, but then he leans back, the tickling sensation of his beard gone. She misses it already.

“Where our noses take us,” he says softly, brushing his lips against the back of her head before nuzzling his nose into her hair.

Another shudder crashes through her, and she nods, unable to do anything else. It's an adventure, she tells herself. Off to the unknown. At least I'm not alone...

More and more clouds push themselves in front of the moon, and suddenly the night is as dark as the last one has been, and she is once again sitting on this giant horse, flying through the darkness. Ben's grip around her is strong and comforting, and she would relax against him, if her legs weren't trembling so much from trying to hold onto Thunder's body. Somehow it has been easier to sit on him sideways, tucked between Ben's legs, instead of sitting like a man.

Also it hurts more, despite the warmth of the man behind her and his thighs caging her in. The constant up and down does weird things to her loins. Or it's the rough fabric of the jeans against her naked flesh. No underwear, remember? she thinks to herself, groaning quietly as she shifts on the saddle to find a more comfortable way of sitting.

And with the image of her naked body in mind, she suddenly realizes she has nothing, only the clothes on her body (which aren't even hers). She never owned anything, but it didn't matter, at least she's had a bed she could call her own, a constant in her life, a place to retreat.

But now she has nothing, and nothing lies ahead (or everything, if she wants to take the optimistic approach), the unknown is so much scarier than the uncertainty of which client would come to her room at night. At least it has always been the same job, the same expectations – well, before she's been promoted to full-time... whore, offering everything. Somehow she hates that word, but that is what she's been, isn't it?

The memory of Ben breaking the other man's nose because he has used that word comes back to her like the phantom pain of a boot against her stomach. She gasps, gripping Ben's arm tighter, shivering despite the many layers of clothes he's given her.

“Everything alright, sweetheart?” he says softly, leaning a little closer.

“Mhm,” she makes, biting her tongue. Her body aches at this point, her mind is spinning, every muscle tense. The rush of the horse's speed, the wind howling in her ears, her hair flapping around her, the tension in her stomach, the vertigo, the memories, the throbbing in her bandaged hand, the chafing between her legs, it's all too much, but she doesn't want to whine or complain. She never has, she's always taken life how it has come at her.

“We'll take a break soon,” he replies, gently squeezing her side. “Just a little longer, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers, inhaling deeply, trying to focus on his warmth, on his presence behind her, on his strong legs around hers, on his – She closes her eyes with a groan, the sudden arousal not helping the burning sensation in her loins.

She still wonders why she even feels like that, why she is so attracted to him. He is so much older, so much bigger, he's a criminal wanted by the law (a murderer), but he has been nice to her, so is that enough to feel this tingling sensation every time he touches her, holds her, leans against her?

He's also your mother's ex-lover, that voice in her head reminds her. And he's probably only nice to you because of that!

Her eyes flutter open (not that it makes much of a difference in the impenetrable blackness of the night around her), her hands mindlessly rubbing over his arm. He can't be, right? Just because I'm Keira's daughter?

You've spent two nights with him now, completely naked, and he's not tried anything, have you noticed? He doesn't see you the same way you see him. Deal with it.

She swallows hard, trying to ignore the nagging voice hurling more doubts and insecurities at her. She fails miserably. A heavy feeling settles in her stomach (just below where he's holding her against himself). I'm just a kid, she thinks. That's what I am to him, right? A little creature to protect from the world, nothing more.

And maybe that is enough. That's more than she's ever had. Someone to look after her, take care of her, like a... parent? She has no idea how mothers or fathers would act around their children, she's never met any. She's always only been around the other girls, the other women. And the men that came to her didn't share their family stories either, they were too busy coming down her throat.

But does she want him to be a parent to her? No, comes the quick answer. She wants something else, she wants more, she wants to be close to him, really close, not just sleeping naked in bed together, even closer. They've met in a brothel of all places, and her expectations have been high when he's whisked her away, but the more distance they put between themselves and the house, the less he seemed to think about doing anything like that to her.

Pity.

And she starts to think the hard and lengthy girth she's feeling pressing against her ass (rubbing against her with every bounce of the horse's movements) is just the natural state of his cock (which only makes her crave it even more because that is just impressive). She should probably stop thinking these thoughts and start behaving like a normal girl her age.

But what do normal eighteen-year-olds think about in these times? Isn't that also the marrying age, the starting to think about building a family age? Or does that come later? She's never met any girls or women discussing marriage, so she has no idea. Living in a brothel surely is like living in a bubble sometimes. Has been. She's no longer there and she doesn't plan to return. Not if she can help it.

Which makes her think about the conversation she overheard this morning and Ben's mention of the bad men getting into the camp to get her. Who is after her? She is just a girl, one of many, who would have an interest in retrieving her? She's had a few clients who've been very fond of her and her skills, but would they go to such lengths to get her back?

And who owns the brothel? She always thought it was Madam Claire's business, not some person in the shadows who pulls all the strings. It is all rather mysterious, and the longer she thinks about it, the harder it becomes to think of any possible answers. And frankly, even though her thoughts have distracted her a lot, she still feels her sore butt scraping over the saddle.

She shifts again, almost loosing her balance when Thunder makes a little extra step over a root or something. A shriek leaves her, and she clutches at Ben's arm in slight panic. She feels him tugging on the reins, and the horse slows a little, before he stops altogether, bowing his massive head, causing a jerk to go through Ben's arm. “Easy, boy,” he hums at the animal. Thunder snorts. She looks around the darkness. Why did he stop?

He doesn't say anything, instead he loosens his arm from around her waist, and suddenly both of his hands are on her sides, drifting lower until he basically cups her rear. She squeaks in surprise when he lifts her up, one hand pushing under her thigh to nudge her to raise her leg. He moves her like a doll again, and she lets him, and then she sits sideways, almost on his lap now, before she slips between his legs once more, but it is much more comfortable now.

“Better?” he whispers as he leans closer, his beard tickling her cheek.

“How did you –” she starts, turning her head to him even though she can barely see him in the dark.

“You kept rubbing against my groin, darling, and probably not on purpose, right?” he says with a chuckle. She feels her cheeks warming up, happy about the darkness now. “Or did you?”

She clears her throat. “Uh, I...”

“I also assume it must be rather uncomfortable having your legs so wide open all the time, hm?” he hums provocatively into her ear. She shivers, but then she turns slightly and hits his chest with the back of her hand, staring up at him.

“Well, I never had the chance to get used to it, you've whisked me away before I got more experience on that!” she replies with a pout, her cheeks burning from the grin she tries to suppress.

His laugh is both surprised and genuine. She feels his hands on her waist again, his thumbs pressing lightly into her skin. “You'll get plenty experience with me, don't worry,” he replies quietly, leaning down again until his cheek rubs against hers, the scraping sound sending goosebumps over her limbs. Something else, hot, burning, itching, gathers right between her legs. “We'll be riding for a long time, sweetheart.”

A little sound akin to a moan escapes her. Everything he says sounds wrong to her, not wrong wrong, just... not the way he probably means it, unless he does and wants to play with her, oh he wants to play with her alright, but it makes her feel both more aroused and slightly strange, uncomfortable? Not really, just... strange. She sucks in a sharp breath and turns back, away from him, trying to ignore the way he holds her, leans against her, how he's warm, and comfortable, and... hard.

He leans back with a chuckle, letting go of her waist to snake his arms around her, grabbing the reins once more while pulling her closer to him, before he urges Thunder to move again. The horse gives a loud whinny, then falls into slow steps that quickly turn into his breakneck speed again.

She clings to Ben's arm, trying to hold on, now with both of her legs on one side. It does feel better, the strain on her muscles easing slowly. While it looks so easy for Ben to sit on Thunder's broad back, for her, it has been like doing the splits. Without underwear, in much-too-big jeans chafing her sensitive skin.

So apparently small girls like her cannot sit like a man after all. Not that she minds, actually. Sitting like this feels a lot better.

His arm is hooked around her stomach, fingers curling under her thigh to hold her steady, and it feels safer this way, too. He's closer, her shoulder blade presses into his chest, his touch is warm and comforting. And she can even lean her head back against him. Oh so much better.

They ride like this for a while, and she feels her eyelids getting heavier. The last time she fell asleep on this horse, she's woken up in a dilapidated house, surrounded by strangers. Her first (and only) day at the camp has been quite nice, actually, except for the ending of it. She refuses to remember it, but the memories still come. Breathing deeply, she forces them away and tries to focus on the woman named Genevieve, Ginny, instead, who's given her nice clothes (that she had to leave behind), who's been seemingly very happy to meet her, who knew her mother as well...

Will she see her again? Ben's said they'll return, but when? When is the dust truly settled? And will she ever be safe in that camp again, if they do return? She doesn't feel like it. Being with Ben makes her feel safe, but he can't be with her all the time, how they've proven last night...

And the second he's left her, she's been –

An angry huff escapes her. She doesn't want to think back to being manhandled out of the tub, held on the ground, forced to endure while a random stranger tried to take her from behind. She shivers at the thought. And it almost happened, too. Her first time, taken like that, a horrible, horrible thought. Stop thinking about it then! her own voice yells at her inside her head.

She swallows and squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, mindlessly rubbing Ben's arm as she holds onto him. He gives her thigh a gentle rub in return. “Almost there,” he whispers, his low voice vibrating through her body.

She nods, wondering how he can tell they're getting anywhere in this pitch-blackness. But then she notices the blue glow on the horizon, a thin strip of not-darkness creeping up the sky. Is it morning already? Probably not, but maybe it's coming closer. She looks around, noticing the shapes of trees around them on one side and a steep cliff face on the other, and straight ahead the land seems to open up more, there's more of that bluish glow, stretching all the way across the horizon.

Yet before she can focus on it, Ben turns the horse left, deeper into the forest. It's darker again, and the noises become more intense as Thunder slows down, the echo of his heavy hooves almost eerie in the dense space with all the critters scurrying out of the way, the insects chirping loudly, and the occasional howl of whatever animal lives close-by. Eventually he stops, and she squints ahead.

“We're here,” Ben says softly, slowly letting go of her and of the reins, resting his hands on his own thighs. She frowns.

It's a cabin, small, wooden, with boarded-up windows, a small porch and a roof that may be caving in at any moment. This man really seems to like the thrill of houses that are seconds away from collapsing.

“It's just for tonight,” he whispers as if reading her mind. She turns her head to him, but he already moves behind her, leaning up on the stirrup to swing his other leg over the horse's back, then jumps down with a thud of his heavy boots. Without hesitation he grabs her waist and lifts her off, and she's thankful he doesn't make her jump on her own.

She holds onto his forearms when her bare feet meet the rough forest floor, dead leaves and pine needles poking her soles. He steps back and fidgets with the bag attached to the saddle before he throws it over his shoulder, shoving the blanket into her arms as he passes her.

“Stay with Thunder,” he tells her, and she frowns as she watches him approach the old cabin, one hand on his gun holster. Her hand moves to the horse's long neck, patting him mindlessly, her fingers slipping through his long mane, while she waits for whatever comes next.

Ben gently nudges the door open with his boot, its rusty hinges squeaking in the silence of the night, before he steps past the dark threshold and vanishes out of sight. It's not silent at all, though. Nebbia feels as if every bush around them is rustling, as if all the animals of the forest are watching them.

She moves closer to the large horse, hoping he'll tell her in time if something wants to attack them. Ben's heavy footsteps are muffled inside the cabin, they stop occasionally, followed by a scraping sound as if he's moving furniture around. It takes him an awfully long time to make sure the house is unoccupied and safe.

When he finally returns, she has her arms wrapped around Thunder's large neck, savoring the horse's warmth, while she tries to keep her fears under control. Memories, the darkness, all her doubts, the nagging voices.

“Are you okay?” he asks, leaning over her to grab the reins and pull them over the horse's head. She shivers, lets go of the large animal and wraps her arms around the large man instead. He catches her with a surprised chuckle, one arm tight around her lower back as he picks her up off the ground slightly, balancing her on his hip while she lifts her legs and wraps them around him.

“Now I am,” she whispers into the crook of his neck, clinging to him like the child he probably thinks she is.

He gives a low huff, holds her close and carries her towards the cabin, pulling Thunder along. After attaching the reins to a pole next to the porch, giving the horse a reassuring pat on the neck, he then turns and enters the small house in the middle of the forest. Her eyes are closed by then as she gives into his warmth and strength, feeling safe and protected.

Chapter 5 -- Chapter 7

End notes: Now I could go on a tangent about cleaning wounds or how I only have basic (read: no) knowledge of how to saddle a horse and what all the things are called, or anything about horseback riding really, but I'll just leave this chapter sitting here like this.

(Note to myself: Remember the switchblade and the wound!)

I hope you enjoyed it. The adventure begins. The tension grows. The next chapter will finally quench the slow burn a little, but that's all I'm gonna say. Stay tuned!

Picture credits to their respective owners. I don't own anything (except the screenshot of RDR2's Shady Belle). I gathered them from all around the Internet. If you see your picture and would like to have it removed, please tell me!

Thank you for reading! Next chapter on Friday!

AO3 -- MASTERLIST -- INSPIRATION POSTS

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maybe-your-left · 4 years

Text

Good Intentions: End of Summer

Did I write a Solo Triplets fic even though I have two other fics that I should be working on? Yes.

Did I write about the triplets because I am lusting after all three of them and I’m projecting my lust of Adam Driver in a competitive swim suit? Also yes.

Am I going to write a fuck ton more of this because I’m a garbage human being who loves angst? Yes again.

Okay so this is written in a High School AU. You’re a junior in highschool whose been friends with the Solo boys (they are seniors) for a couple years, Matt being one of your closest friends. This fic is going to involve a lot of drama, and a lot of swimming lingo that you might not get but its okay because no one gets it outside of the swimming community. It’s mainly just so I can get this thought of AD characters out of my head and into something more productive. I hope you like it! Also yes there will be smut. Not yet, but yes. Just because the AU is different doesn’t mean I’m not gonna have them make sweet sticky love to us when the moments right.

Thank god outdoor events had tents set up. Or else you would be baking in the sun waiting for your races.

You sat under a large white tent surrounded by towels, goldfish, Gatorade bottles, and an assortment of games. Your teammates were sprawled around you, some were playing cards with each other, some were listening to music to pass the time, and you were just sitting down playing on your Switch.

The Rebellion swim team had been a great escape for you. It allowed you to make so many friends, almost considering them family throughout the years. It was a way for you to get away from your problems and immerse yourself in the competition. Most of the friends you’ve made had been through swimming, some from school, but all of you had a shared bond.

Right now you were resting after your medley relay, the rebels as you were called, had beat everyone else by a landslide. You reached over and drank from your water bottle when you heard faint screaming from the exit doors of the pool. Pulling back one of your headphones you looked around to see what the commotion was about. You couldn’t see all the way over, but you were sure it had something to do with the boy’s relays going on inside. They always were rowdy, and it didn’t help that most of the guys on your team screamed and yelled whenever they had the chance.

You shrugged and put your focus back on your game. Steady beats were playing through your headphones, you barely noticed the three boys running up to you. Suddenly a very large, and very wet body was jumping on top of you.

“Earth to (Y/N)! Why didn’t you come to watch us kick the First Orders ass?!”

You groaned and tried to pry him off of you, fuck he was huge, “Please get off me Ben,” you slapped his back in an attempt to force him up.

“You missed it,” Ben huffed into your stomach, “Matty almost false-started!”

“Is that right?” you patted Ben's shoulder, he was always the most competitive one. You glanced to your right towards the other boys. “How did you do Kylo?”

Kylo didn’t respond, only grunted towards you while grabbing his towel. He was the quietest, even though you had been around the boys for years he always kept you at arm’s length. You tried not to feel hurt by it, he seemed to do it for everyone but it still stung.

“Don’t be rude Kylo,” Matt smacked his brother’s shoulder, “He’s just grumpy that he almost lost.”

“I did not,” Kylo growled back, settling in front of you with his eyes glued to his phone.

Ben snorted, lifting his chin to settle on your sternum, “Could’ve fooled me, you almost let Hux beat you.”

Without warning, Kylo smacked Ben in the back causing Ben to muffle a scream into your suit. “What the fuck dude?” he yelled and launched off of you, tackling Kylo to the ground. They started wrestling with each other, Kylo getting Ben in a chokehold while Ben was trying to elbow him in the gut. You sighed and stared at Matt who just stood there staring at the two roll around.

When you first met the triplets, you weren’t used to the hostility between Ben and Kylo. Ben always tried to push his buttons, while Kylo tried to one-up Ben at any physical event which always led to the two of them fighting on the floor of wherever they were. Your first experience with that was when Matt had invited you over to their house to study for chemistry together. Although they were a year older than you, you and Matt had met in science class your freshman year the two of you quickly becoming good friends. Once you came over to their house you were quickly thrown against a bean bag chair by the boys who were fighting over PlayStation controllers. Needless to say, you started crying because Kylo had broken Bens’ nose and Matt was trying to calm them while also introducing you to the other two. Once they heard your tears all three of them apologized and swarmed around you, Ben and Kylo especially trying to show you that they didn’t really ‘hurt’ each other.

But now them fighting was normal, you just had to wait for one of them to run out of steam, or when Kylo eventually caused Ben to pass out. Although Kylo is the middle triplet, he is the strongest. He has the most muscle compared to the other two, although they all are exceptionally large boys for their age, Kylo looks like he could fight a bear at any given moment.

“Come on guys that’s enough,” Matt yelled, attempting to pry the two apart with his foot, “We don’t need someone telling Dad that you two can’t be civil anymore.”

Kylo pushed Ben off him, “Fine,” he pointed a finger at Ben, “This isn’t over.”

Ben rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to you, “(Y/N) big bad Kylo hurt my neck, will you kiss it better?”

“Get off me, Ben,” you chuckled, “I need to go get ready for my race.”

He huffed and rolled off you, grabbing a bag of snacks from his swim bag. You turned to your left and grabbed your cap and goggles, standing up and stretching before walking off towards the entrance doors. Kylo grabbed your ankle stopping you, “Good luck.”

You swallowed and smiled at him, “Thank you Ky.”

-----

After (Y/N) left, Ben threw a towel at Kylo’s face, “What was that about, lover boy?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to his phone. He had been mindlessly scrolling since he sat down, trying to get over the embarrassment of (Y/N) seeing him freak out about almost losing. Usually, he didn’t let Ben get under his skin but whenever he provoked him in front of (Y/N) he couldn’t help himself.

Matt stood up, putting on a t-shirt and grabbing his glasses, “We better get inside, I don’t want to miss her breaking the 200 record.”

“She didn’t come to watch us swim, why should we watch her,” Ben groaned, stretching his arms before grabbing his shirt to throw on.

Kylo reached in his bag for his stopwatch, “Because she’s our friend and this is important for her, besides I’m sure you’re #1 fan will be inside too.”

“Fuck is she here? I didn’t see her at warm-ups…” Ben looked around hastily, scanning the team in case his ‘favorite’ person found him before he could duck and hide.

“Yeah,” Kylo grunted, “She cornered me this morning when I came out of the locker rooms, pretty sure she thought I was you.”

“Common mistake,” Ben laughed, grabbing Kylo and Matt’s shoulders, “You two do take after your older brother's good looks.”

“Piss off Ben, let’s go I’m sure the rest of the team is already down by her lane.”

Matt and Kylo jogged in first, with Ben trailing not far behind. Making sure to scan the crowds for any ‘danger’. Kylo spotted (Y/N) first, hollering and waving his watch in the air, receiving a large smile from her in return. “Let’s get close, that way she can see us when she turns,” Kylo said over the crowd.

Everyone was packed into the building, the crowd was screaming and cheering for the open 200. The boys maneuvered their way to the end of (Y/N) lane, pushing out other spectators and calmly hopping the barrier between the swimmers and patrons. All three were crouched down, ready to watch.

“Event 3 Women’s 200 Freestyle, Heat 4. Swimmers Step up.”

The girls hopped up, (Y/N) gave a big smile and wave to the triplets and also a thumbs up to her timers. She always was so polite even when she was racing.

“Judges and timers ready, Swimmers take your mark.”

BEEP.

The crowd erupted, they dove and everyone was shouting. Matt and Ben were hooping and hollering at (Y/N) to ‘keep a steady pace’ while Kylo stared in silence. Making sure to get the splits when she made it to the wall.

“She’s gotta kick it up, that girl to her right is already close,” Ben yelled down at Kylo.

“She’ll be fine, it's just the first lap,” Kylo grunted, getting the first lap timed.

“Have a little faith, Benny,” Matt smiled before turning back to (Y/N).

Three laps later and it was the final stretch, (Y/N) was just a little ways ahead at the wall. All three boys were screaming at her, at the turn they were right in her face. Yelling to go faster, push harder. They stood up abruptly, watching the clock to see if she was going to win.

“That’s a new record for (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” the starter announced.

“Let’s go let’s go!” Matt shouted, scrambling to get around the excited spectators.

Kylo stayed quiet, he was so happy for (Y/N) but he didn’t want to show it. He would wait to talk to her alone that way Ben and Matt wouldn’t embarrass him if he stumbled over what he wanted to say. Even though he had been around her for so long, she still left him tongue-tied. She was so smart and sweet and put up with each of the triplets' moods. Not to mention she was beautiful and was always so happy to see and include him even if he was in a shitty mood. He had had a crush on her for a while now, Matt and Ben knew about it. Ben made it clear he also liked (Y/N) which was proving to decrease Kylos chances.

Kylo was pulled out of his thoughts when he saw you coming down from the lanes. Chatting with the coaches, thanking people, and crying about how excited you were. It was a big deal, you had worked so hard over the summer to beat the record. Kylo fought back a smile as you approached the boys.

“You did amazing, babygirl!” Ben shouted, lifting (Y/N) up by her armpits. Effectively crushing her face onto his cheek. “I’m so so so proud of you!”

He kissed her on the cheek, giving Kylo a side-eye before setting her back down.

Matt spoke up, wrapping his arms around (Y/N) in a much calmer fashion, “That was great, we were worried for a second that you were going to lose.”

“Glad you guys had so much faith in me,” (Y/N) huffed, she was beaming with joy. So proud of herself and happy that everyone could see her do well.

She looked up at Kylo, eyes wide and a big smile. Waiting for him to congratulate her, or say anything. Nothing would come out of his mouth, he was awestruck, and making a complete fool out of himself for the second time today.

(Y/N) nodded and crawled out of Matt’s arms, smiling and saying thank you for watching before turning to her other friends. “The fuck was that dude?!” Ben smacked Kylo upside the head. “She was waiting for you to say something!”

“You don’t have to hit me,” Kylo covered his face in his hands, “She just kept looking at me like that, I didn’t know what to say.”

“You’re ruining your chances with her if you keep acting like that,” Matt grumbled, staring off into the distance. Suddenly his eyes widened and he ducked down, “911 Ben she saw us!”

“What?!”

“Get down!”

Kylo hunched down, trying to become average height along with Matt and Ben. Blending in and attempting to make it to the exit undiscovered.

“Hey Benny,” a voice rang out in front of Kylo. “Are you hiding from me?” She smiled and pulled back on his shirt making him stand to full height.

“Wrong twin Bazine,” Kylo huffed and pointed towards the locker rooms where Ben was stalking towards.

Bazine whipped around, distrust coloring her face. For having a crush on Ben she sure wasn’t able to recognize him, making mistakes left and right between the two boys while Matt was left in the clear from her lustful gaze.

“Sorry Ky,” she flashed her teeth, “He keeps slipping from me today, didn’t even answer my texts.”

“I can’t imagine why.”

She glared at Kylo, turned and skipped off towards Ben, letting out a huge breath once she was gone.

Matt patted Kylo on the back, “One of these days she’ll get the hint.”

“Hopefully while we're still young.”

The two turned around and walked back out to the tents.

——

After your race, you were exhausted, but you were sure to say thank you and check in with your coaches and friends. Rose, Rey, and Phasma were so excited for you, they even filmed the race. Although the triplets were blocking them from getting very many action shots, they also were the loudest on the video.

You walked out towards the tents, plopping down and chugging some water. You shot a text to your parents, letting them know how you did. They weren’t there to watch you, even though they promised they would try this time. But it wasn’t a new thing, they were absent enough for it to be normal. It would be weird if they had shown up. You made sure to send them the video Rey took.

Looking up you noticed Matt and Kylo speed walking towards you, Ben nowhere to be found. Settling down in front of you, seeming to sigh in relief. “That was so close,” Matt said.

Kylo hummed and grabbed his water bottle, brushing your knee as he reached.

“Bazine find Ben?” you chucked. That poor girl. She was on the high school team before she transferred last year, she had her eyes set on the triplets. She even ‘faked’ being your friend for a while when she noticed how close you were with them. But of course Ben couldn’t keep it in his pants, and now she wouldn’t leave him alone. “It’s his fault really, he shouldn’t have led her on,” you said, grabbing a goldfish from Kylos bag.

“Hey,” he huffed, “I didn’t say those were to share.”

“It’s a swim meet Kylo, everything is to share. Now did you time my splits?”

He cleared his throat and nodded, “Uh yeah I did.”

“Wanna tell me them or am I supposed to guess?” You scooted over to his right, placing your hand on his knee. Kylo coughed and sat up straighter, showing you the stopwatch. Although he never tried to show it, he was always the most proud of you. Made sure to help you with technique, work on turns and dives, and he always would time your races even if you didn’t ask. “You did a good job,” he swallowed, “I uh, I’m sorry about earlier-“

“Why the fuck would you guys leave me with her?!” Ben shouted, pushing Kylos head down into his lap as he made it back to your group. “She fucking cornered me in the locker room! The men’s room!”

“Ben why don’t you just tell her to buzz off,” you rolled your eyes and glanced over at Kylo who was trying very hard to not knock out his brother.

“He won’t because he likes the attention,” Matt stated. Earning a glare from Ben, before he sat back and grabbed his phone from his bag.

“I don’t like the attention,” he huffed, “It’s not my fault that she’s in love with me. We barely did anything!”

“You slept with her!” Kylo shouted.

“Not right now I didn’t!”

You looked at Ben, trying to give him ‘you’re a fucking idiot face’.

Ben averted your gaze, staring off instead at Rey sitting with the other girls, “We just made out, nothing else.”

“You just made out with her?! Even though you’ve been avoiding her for a week?” you yelled. Ben clearly was not understanding that he was responsible for Bazine attachment, he kept stringing her on and when she got too close he would run away.

“Whatever I don’t need you guys to tell me what to do,” Ben said back, “Come on Kylo we have a race.”

Next to you, Kylo chucked, the two of them always raced against one another. Right now they had a 50 freestyle that was supposed to be neck and neck, however, Kylo always seemed to beat Ben no matter how hard he tried.

“Good luck,” you whispered to Kylo, “I’m rooting for you.”

Kylo smirked down at you and grabbed his stuff and left, Ben following behind him. You sighed and looked at Matt. Sweet normal Matt, he was so calm and level headed. Nothing like the other two, aside from their identical faces you could hardly believe they were related.

“Let’s go, whoever loses has to be my counter for the 500,” Matt sighed.

“You say that every time but Ben never follows through, he doesn’t have the attention span for it” you giggle, grabbing the stopwatch and running off to the lanes.

Inside is the same story, people shoving around each other. Trying to get a look at the top heats of every event. Thank goodness Matt was behind you, guiding you forward through the crowds. Ben and Kylo were side by side, Kylo lane 4, Ben 5 with Hux in lane 3. Hux was Kylos rival, or even arch enemy. They hated each other with a passion, even more than Ben and Kylo.

You got right behind the barricade, when suddenly you were lifted over it. “What are you doing Matt?!”

“It’s fine we did it earlier.” He hopped over too and stood at Bens lane. You turned and stared at the blocks. Both twins were stretching and jumping, getting ready for their sprint. You could see Ben was cracking jokes with his timers, probably making a big show about the top swimmers being brothers. While Kylo just stood and stared. You did a small wave, showing the stopwatch as he did for you earlier earning a very small smile.

“Event 8 Men’s 50 Freestyle, Heat 5. Swimmers step up.”

Up they went, strong and ready to beat the shit out of each other.

“Judges and timers ready, Swimmers take your marks.”

BEEP.

Diving in, Kylo and Ben were underwater longer than everyone else. Ben edging out ahead just a little. You and Matt were screaming, watching their every move.

At the wall you saw Kylo take his first and only breathe, shooting off the wall. Suddenly he was past Ben. Earning an almost full body length ahead of him and he glided into the opposite wall. Easily set a new record for himself and the team.

“You think he was going easy on Ben?” Matt smirked and looked at you, it was clear in the first half he wanted Ben to get tired. “Whatever the case, Kylo won’t let Ben win that easily.”

The two of you headed towards the exit, waiting for the twins. “Matt go get ready for your 500, I’ll make sure to grab the boys for you.”

“Thanks (Y/N).”

He turned and jogged out. Suddenly Bazine was at your left, her hand on your shoulder. “Can you believe Ben let Kylo win? Unacceptable,” she tsked.

Rolling your eyes you shook her hand off, “Whatever Bazine.”

Kylo and Ben came out, after shaking hands with the other competitors they were smiling and wrestling each other. Happy to have shared a good time. Once in front of you, their smiles fell slightly, probably because of the presence of Bazine.

“Awesome job guys! Matt and I were screaming for you,” you smiled and grabbed them both in a hug. Being sure to give them both attention, Ben was known to sulk whenever he lost.

Bazine rolled her eyes and pulled Ben to her arms, “Why’d you let him win baby? You’re so much better than that.” Grabbing his face and kissing the tip of his nose, you had to look away. Afraid that your temper would flare up, she was always so rude about Kylo. Even though he was nothing but ‘nice’ to her, she always tried to put him down. Ben just closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, trying to get her away with silence. After a moment he sighed and spoke, “I have to go.” and then pushed past Bazine.

She quickly followed Ben outside, trying to soothe his wounds. You turned and looked at Kylo who was staring at his feet. “You did a great job. Really, I even got your splits!” you smiled at him, trying to lighten the mood.

Kylo nodded and mumbled, “I should go get Matt’s stuff ready.”

“Let’s go together!” you smiled at him, slipping your hand in his while pulling him towards the lanes.

——

The rest of the meet went by smoothly, each boy winning their races. Matt especially, he was the odd one out. Only did distance races so he had his own set of rivals. But you all cheered just the same. Finally, the meet was wrapped up and you and your girlfriends were packing your bags.

“Are we all meeting for pizza?” Rose asked.

You shrugged, “I’m down if you’re down, I think we’ve earned it.”

Rey and Phasma jogged up beside you two, confirming the pizza plan. Everyone from the team was supposed to meet at the restaurant in fifteen minutes. “You guys wanna ride with me?” you said at the girls, each of them shaking their heads and proceeding to wrap up.

“I’m gonna head inside and change, see you guys there” you walked back towards the locker rooms. You looked at your phone, shooting the boys a group text about the plan.

Walking in you heard whispering, right around the corner to the men’s bathrooms. You leaned in and listened.

“I don’t know why you’re acting so weird dude.”

“I’m not acting weird!”

“Yes you are and if you can’t get it together I’m gonna swoop in.”

“That’s not fair Ben,” one of the voices silently screamed.

You peaked around the corner, huddled in a group were the triplets. Each one was already dressed down, and they were very close to fighting one another.

“I don’t give a shit anymore Kylo, I’m tired of watching you be a pussy,” Ben huffed looking up at the ceiling.

“He’s not ready Ben, don’t push him!” Matt yelled.

“He’s had years! Years of dibs!”

“Stop pushing me!” Kylo shouted, burning his face in his hands.

“If you don’t tell (Y/N) how you feel then I will.” Ben pointed at Kylo.

You cleared your throat, trying to get them to stop talking about you. Matt was the first to notice you, smacking both Kylo and Ben to shut up. Once Kylo noticed you his face went beat red, while Ben just smiled at you.

“Hey (Y/N)...” Matt waved.

You rushed into the locker room, frantically changing so you could quickly run out to your car before the boys could talk to you any further. This was going to be a long night.

TAGLIST: @finn-ray-nal-beads @morby @kirah36 @reylo-trash @onlykyloscenes @candycanes19 @clumsycopy

I just tagged people who have liked my stuff or who I think would be interested in my garbage writing!

#adam driver #kylo ren #ben solo #matt the radar technician #charlie barber #phillip altman #flip zimmerman #solo triplets #solo #au

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idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 · 4 years

Text

Tyson Jost N/SFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Tyson is the king of aftercare. He’ll get you a warm washcloth to wipe you down, and ask if you need anything and get whatever you ask for. If you guys end up in the shower afterwards, he’s probably carrying you there. And he’s a quality post-sex cuddler. A big teddy bear actually.

Also, he likes to be taken care of after sex. He likes when you take control in the bedroom, so afterwards, sometimes he’ll just lay in bed waiting for you to dote on him the way he would normally dote on you.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his arms and his ass. He knows those are his good assets.

He doesn’t really have a favourite body part on you. He just loves everything about you that he couldn’t really pick a favourite. But, he’s a sucker for your eyes. And he is a boob guy.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes to cum in you, condom or not. He’s not the kind of guy to want to see his cum on you or anything like that.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Honestly, Tyson doesn’t have a dirty secret. He’s very open with what he likes and his past.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Tyson hasn’t had a large number of partners because he’s more about a connection than a hook up. He knows his way around a woman’s body and he likes to learn what exactly makes his girl feel the best.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Anything close to you really. He’s just a big fan of skin to skin and being close. So, missionary and you on top but he’s sitting up chest to chest with you, and when you ride his face. He absolutely loves when you ride his face.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Tyson is a big fan of “if you can’t laugh during sex, you’re having sex with the wrong person.” Like he will blow raspberries on you while he kissing down your body to go down on you. He’ll make you smile and laugh, just as much as he’ll make you moan. If something awkward or embarrassing happens, he’s quick to brush it off and make it all okay.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He keeps things tame, but by no means is he shaved. Short brown curls.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He likes to keep things on the slower side, which in itself is intimate. As for romantic? Tyson is a huge romantic outside the bedroom and certainly romantic in the sense that he’s a giver. He’ll get some rose petals or candles on Valentine’s Day or your anniversary. He likes to keep you as close to him as possible, thrusting in as deep as he can and keeping you pressed against him. He whispers how much he loves you and how beautiful you are. Yeah, super intimate.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Tyson prefers to get off with you, so he doesn’t masturbate too much. When he does, it’s usually through phone sex with you talking him through it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He has a huge praise kink. He needs to be told he’s doing a good job and that also translate into him having to tell you that you’re doing so good for him.

Not really a kink, but he loves it when you take control in the bedroom. Guide him, tell him what you want, be on top, that sort of thing.

Honestly, Tyson is more on the vanilla side of things, but if you ask him to try something, he’ll probably say yes.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Behind closed doors. Private. He likes to keep things to his or your place. The bedroom, the shower/tub, the couch, that sort of thing. He will absolutely not be caught having sex in a public place. Being caught be EJ or Gabe would be enough of a nightmare.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Eye contact is a huge turn on for Tyson.

Running your fingers through his hair also drives him crazy. Playing with his hair will either calm him down or turn him on. And he loves it when you tug on it during sex.

Wearing his name and/or number also drives him crazy in the best way. He just loves to see “Jost” anywhere on you.

Wearing his clothes is another way to get Tyson going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s not going to hurt you. He couldn’thurt you. He loves you and the idea of doing anything that hurts or degrades you just makes his stomach turn. He wants to make you feel good, not hurt.

This includes things like choking and anything beyond playful spanking.

And the only words you’ll hear out of him is that you’re beautiful, he loves you, and that you feel so fucking good, type things.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Tyson is 100% a giver. Blowjobs are fine and all that but eating you out is honestly his favourite thing. He would love to spend all day between your legs, eating you out at his own pace, making you moan and tug at his hair as you cum again and again.

He also absolutely loves it when you ride his face. He likes it when you’re on top and he loves to eat you out, those combine when you ride his face and he just loves it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Tyson’s normal pace sits between slow and fast. Not slow enough to be slow, but he also doesn’t like to take things fast or rough. He likes to take his time with you.

On special nights like your anniversary or Valentine’s Day, then he’s slow.

And after a night when he played really good, scored a goal or three, then that’s when you’re seeing a rougher, more dominant side of him.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not one for quickies. He likes to take his time with you and he can’t do that with quickies.

Spontaneous blowjobs or going down on you right before he walks out the door on the other hand…

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Like I said, Tyson is more on the vanilla side of things, but if you ask him to try something, he’ll probably say yes. He’s a giver and he just wants you to feel good and be satisfied, so he’ll try things for you. But, he’s not one to bring up things he wants to try, he’s happy with how things are going.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s a professional athlete, he can last a while. And he has a reasonably fast rebound time, so he can go a couple times a night if you wanted.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Tyson doesn’t use toys. Honestly, he blushes bright red if/when they’re brought up or he sees/picks one up. They’re not really his cup of tea. If you want to bring them into the bedroom, then he’ll use them, but they do intimidate him and he will be bright red.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Tyson doesn’t edge, but he teases. He likes foreplay and kissing down your body and making you beg just a little but before giving you what you want. He wants to have fun, which he does through teasing you. Like, kissing up your thighs and your stomach and not where you want his lips to be.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Tyson is vocal. He moans a lot, sometimes they’re strained or muffled, but it’s honestly one of the hottest things ever. He groans deeply when you pull on his hair, and different praises are always falling from his lips along with strings of curses.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He is a sucker for lingerie. Especially black lace. Like he will be putty in your hands if you undress and reveal a black lace set. He will do whatever you ask of him.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a little more than six inches but he’s thick. Like thick.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

While Tyson is good at hiding his want, he is horny basically all the time, just like any other athlete or guy his age. You’re a walking turn on for him and yeah, he’s basically horny all the time and always ready to fuck you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He gets sleepy after sex, but he doesn’t necessarily fall asleep quickly. He gets sleepy and he pulls you to his chest or he makes you his little spoon or he becomes the little spoon (he loves to be the little spoon and he has no shame in that) and he likes to talk for a bit. His voice is soft and his words slur together in the cute sleepy way.

#tyson jost #tyson jost smut #tyson jost imagine #tyson jost x reader #colorado avalanche imagine #Colorado Avalanche #avs imagine #avs #avalache #hockey imagine #hockey smut #hockey rpf #hockey #smut alphabet #tyson jost alphabet #tyson jost smut alphabet #nhl #nhl imagine #mine

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hecohansen31 · 5 years

Text

Not The Right Time

The Story of How She Found Out:

Ivar+Reader (Modern! AU)

(Chapter 1: The Story of How We Ended Up There)

(Chapter 2: The Story of How He Found Out)

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

I hope you’ll like this chapter!

I haven’t been feeling the best lately mentally for various reasons, so youd feedback would mean the world to me.

I also wanted to say that like with ‘To Kill A King’ this was supposed to end in a much different (and longer note) but I just felt like it was better to cute it and analyse more in the following chapters.

As always: your feedback motivates me to write faster, so if you leave anything, such as an heart, a reblog or a comment you’ll have my heart for ever and ever!

Have a nice day and reading!

SUMMARY: You are slowly learning to trust Ivar, when he is brought apart by some interesting news and a difficult choice: revealing the truth or continue on lying?

WORDS: 8, 5 K

WARNINGS: Pregnancy, Unexpected Pregnancy, Pregnancy at a Young Age, Mention of Abortion (and Being Harsh About it), Heartbreak and General Angst, Abandonement Issues and Being A Single Mom, Mention of Infertility, Talk about Custody Battles and Custody, Fighting and Angst, Use of The Word Cripple.

He remembered the day he had decided that he had wanted to be something more than simply friends with you.

You had been best friends since you were nothing more than children: you had always been the only one who had softly interacted with him, the only child of a couple who had just transferred in the small city, and not many people seemed open enough to start friendship.

Hence you had been pushed together and had seen each other grow, till the day Ivar had looked at you differently.

He remembered perfectly the way you had dressed, because it had been the first time you had shown yourself at school with a skirt.

It had been the first day of the third year of high school, it was hot enough to make everyone wary of coming back to school and of wearing anything that went below the knee, hence you had solved the problem wearing a simple straight skirt.

Light blue with a checkered fantasy, matched with a blue blouse in the perfect ‘schoolgirl’ style, nothing extremely seductive or surprising, hadn’t you worn hoodies and graphic t-shirt for all your life, till that day.

And Ivar had realized that you weren’t a simple friend anymore, you were a girl.

You had seemed uncomfortable in the entire ensemble, even more when Hvitserk had joked with you, asking you ‘when had you suddenly grown tits?’.

You had just tried to cover you up for the rest of the day, even going as far as to ask Ivar if it was too much.

And part of him thought it was too much, because he didn’t want guys to see those ‘naked’ long legs exposed, transformed from the gangly ones always covered with bruises from your clumsy behavior he was used to.

And even those curves as dangerous as a nightly road.

‘… I mean…’ he hadn’t been able to mumble something more than ‘… you look nice’.

And the fact that you still tortured him in his dreams with that smile you had given him after, was a further proof of how much he had felt for you, back then.

And how much you still had an impact on him like that.

He woke up, suddenly, sweating cold as he turned onto one side, sensing a body near him and he couldn’t help but think that it was you.

It had to be you.

Before anything sexual had happened, you had started sleeping together as soon as you could.

As a restless sleeper you were more comfortable tucked under Ivar’s arms, whereas he felt like there was a wonderful intimacy between you two, much better than anything sexual his brothers told him they did with their girlfriends.

And there was something inherently sensual in your soft voice in the morning, the hazed movements and the soft caresses, such as your nose brushing against his neck, or his hands around your hips, bringing you closer.

He was so lost in the entire dream that he didn’t realize immediately that the person beside him hadn’t your hair color, neither your face and your sweet smile.

It was Freydis, not you.

And he shouldn’t have been that disappointed.

He raised his body into an upright position, pain already shooting through his legs, signaling him that he wouldn’t have an easy day, even worsened by the fact that Freydis seemed to immediately understand his discomfort, waking up quickly after.

‘You shouldn’t wear the braces and you should use the wheelchair’ she always suggested on these days, even more if it was on the weekend, insisting they should have just laid in bed, peacefully.

But he just had this constant need to push and prove himself, to the point that rest wasn’t ever his priority even more when Freydis tended to him in that childish way that reminded him of his mother’s overbearing attentions.

Were you also that way with Eric?

From what he had seen the child had a large margin of freedom, maybe even more than he would have allowed, worried about the fact that he might end up hurt.

But wasn’t that the same reason he was chastising Freydis’ behavior?

Heahmund would have said he was a hypocrite.

About Heahmund, he should have spoken to him mostly to talk with him about the small progress he had made and ask for some tips on what to do next, although he knew that his future… was simply in your hands.

“I can bring you breakfast in bed” suggested Freydis, as she got up in her small white babydoll, the incarnation of naïve sensuality and still Ivar couldn’t feel as any man would have felt with such a woman.

“Thank you, sweetheart” he spoke, thankful for the absence of Freydis so he could talk with Heahmund and could reason on what to do about Eric and Freydis.

As much as he wanted nothing more than to keep the two worlds separated, he didn’t want to continue on lying to his fiancé, even more when she was undergoing expensive treatments to have his child.

But he thought he could push it back further, after the previous night you might not want to see him again and he might be forced to back off, as much as he hated the thought of it.

Even more now that he knew Eric.

The sweetness of that boy was a welcome change to the personality he had expected of a spoiled annoyed child, as he had been at his age, broken in by the exclusion and rejection of his fellow ‘friends’.

He hadn’t asked many questions to Eric about his life, not knowing if it was allowed and knowing that you wouldn’t have liked him snooping on your life, but he made a mental point to talk to him about it, if he ever met him again.

“Somebody is full of thoughts today” surprised him Freydis as she set down the breakfast tray onto the bed, between her and Ivar, taking the man’s hand softly “… something troubling you, my love?”.

“Just some things at the company” he replied, feeling bad for lying to her, but he didn’t know what he could say.

‘Hey babe, you know how I can’t get an erection for you? Well when I was in high school I could… and I got somebody pregnant’.

The worst thing ever was the fact that he knew how Freydis would have felt, like there was something wrong in her… and he knew all too well the feeling, so he didn’t want her to feel that way.

“You should ask them for some free time, they overwork you” suggested Freydis, kissing his hands.

Another reason why he loved Freydis so much was her continuous silent support, the way she would know how to make herself useful without getting on his nerves.

“… but then how would I be able to take care of you?” he smirked softly, a hand drifting onto her flat stomach “… and of our growing family?”.

Another flash of memory pushed your face on Freydis’ one as he imagined you with a full belly, the proof of your pregnancy shown as the bright smile of happiness on your face.

You definitely looked beautiful with a pregnant belly.

And so, would have Freydis.

“… want to relax helping me with some stuff for the wedding?” she suggested, a bright smile on her face, making one appear on Ivar’s, your face and your pregnant belly almost forgotten.

“… of course, sweetie”.

And as his eyes turned onto Freydis as she came in with invitation samples, a message from you came onto his phone.

Yeah, you were almost forgotten.

Almost.

---

Being a single mother could be extremely hectic, even more on the mornings when you had to juggle a job and your son had to go to school, a friend’s parent coming to pick him up on certain days since they had to take the same road to arrive to school.

What helped you was getting everything ready before ‘the beast’ woke up.

Your mother grabbed her coffee and her own breakfast, hiding in her room, a sign that she wasn’t ready to talk with you after what she had done the previous night.

You, yourself, didn’t know if you had to be thankful for what she had done or hate her for straight up disobeying the sole rule you had set up with her.

It was something that you would decide after the little chat that you were planning to have with Eric.

“Eric Luther (L/N) move your butt!” you screamed from the kitchen, hearing a matching giggle from the boy’s room, as you felt the familiar sound of your boy fumbling with his braces.

The doctor you had been seeing since Eric’s birth had suggested that you let your child do whatever he wanted to do on his own, trying to make him as autonomous as possible, as much as you could do that for a five-year-old.

As he came in the kitchen, stumbling and half asleep, rubbing on his eyes softly, you quickly moved to him, to tighten the braces as he leaned on comfortably against the furniture, till his crutch.

“… good morning, Flash” you joked softly, as you messed up your son’s sever bedhead, before kissing his nose, till he pushed you away, faking disgust, but you knew all too well that he was bashing in your affection “… slept well?”.

“Yeah” he spoke, although by his silence you were well aware, he wasn’t in the best mood, his legs probably hurting him “… can I have orange juice for breakfast?”.

“Of course, sweetie” you explained softly, moving back to the kitchen counter to fill a glass with orange juice as you offered him a plate with his favorite treat, adding some extra Nutella in his croissant “… can I get you anything else, my prince?”.

“Can I not go to school?” insisted the boy, with a way that was telling you he was taking advantage of the entire situation.

“Well… then also no soccer practice?” he immediately shook his head, promising that he was already feeling better “… can you sit, sweetie? I’d like to talk with you about something”.

“Of course, mommy” he quickly got up on the chair, using the crutch to keep himself up as he adjusted himself comfortably on the chair beside you, who had finished her own breakfast and was already in work clothes “… is it about your friend, Ivar?”.

“Yes” you almost hated that Eric had inherited Ivar’s skills for observing people “… did you… did you have fun with him?”.

You felt your palms growing sweaty as your breath came slower in your lungs, but you tried not to show anything.

“Yes!” happiness oozed from all his pores as he clapped his hands together “… we played Avengers and he told me more mythical stories! Did you know that once Thor dressed up as a bride to get his hammer back?!”.

The excitement in Eric’s eyes was contagious and you couldn’t help but smirk softly at him, daring a hand further to him to caress his face.

For a moment you almost wondered if his life would have been better if you had told Ivar you were expecting a child of his.

Maybe Eric would have smiled that sweetly each day.

“… would you…” your voice trembled lightly, and you tightened the grip on your hand on your thighs “… would you like to see him again?”.

“Yes yes yes!” screamed the boy, beating his fists against your kitchen table, making you laugh lightly to choke back tears as you made the boy rush back to dressing himself up to have a minute with yourself, collecting your body before you faced again your child.

Had it been truly a good choice to keep Ivar out of your child’s life?

Then you remembered the heartbreak he had put you through and thought about what it would feel for Eric to go through a similar ache, when he had already had so so many painful moments in his short life.

That’s why, no matter how good of an impression Ivar had done on your child, you couldn’t simply forgive him like that and made him come back in his life.

And you also had to take your time before you admitted to him that he was Ivar’s child.

Before you, yourself, started also thinking that way.

As Eric rushed out, saluting you shortly, your mother got out of her self-imposed exile, appearing on the doorway of your small kitchen as you rushed to make yourself busy.

“… you know that this doesn’t make you a bad mother” she commented setting herself on one chair, distractedly but searching your gaze.

“And what does that make you?” you couldn’t hold your tongue back anymore, a bit emotional about the entire admission of Eric and currently fighting with yourself about your own decision “… you sold me to the enemy”.

“I just realized before you that you can’t go on acting like you can do everything on your own” and as you were ready to reply to her, she shot you down with a quick look “… and don’t say that you have me, because as you have seen, I can’t always be there for you, one day…”.

“Do we seriously have to talk about it?!” you protested, tears now streaming freely on your face “… mom… I can’t…”.

“I know that you find it difficult to trust anybody but me, Eric or yourself, and I don’t blame you for that… after everything you have gone through… Ivar and your father… I know that it isn’t easy, but… you can’t simply destroy your health because of this” she reached for your hand, gripping tightly as you turned to face her “… you have to learn to let others in”.

“I am just scared that… maybe I did the wrong thing: Eric liked him… maybe I shouldn’t have ever ever hidden him” you set yourself down on the table the closest to your mother, leaning your head onto her shoulder “… maybe I just ruined his life…”.

“Sweetie calm down” she replied softly, pushing a hand through your hair “… us mothers do things on instinct which is something that always works, and we should never ever apologize for that! You did what you knew was right, which was pushing yourself away from the boy who had broken your heart”.

She softly pushed your hair away from your face, to look at you in your shared eyes.

“… now what has changed?” you asked, trembling.

“He isn’t a boy anymore, he is trying to make amend for what he broke and although what he broke might never become … whole again… you should allow him to help you, when you need it”.

“I don’t know…”.

“One step at the time” she spoke softly, before kissing the soft crown of your hair “… everything will be alright”.

You hoped so.

---

Ivar couldn’t help but be completely surprised by the fact that he was willingly coming to a doctor’s appointment, but you had asked him to come with you for a monthly check up, since he had wanted to be more present in his child’s life.

You and Eric hadn’t come yet, but he had also to admit that he had arrived early.

Still the knowledge of it hadn’t made him less nervous about it all.

And the fact that he hated waiting rooms at doctor’s office didn’t help.

He didn’t mind the doctors’ studios and hospitals, but waiting rooms made people look at him weirdly, as he shifted his braces against the ground in an attempt to calm himself.

To distract himself, he went through the plan you had elaborated with him to explain his presence to Eric: you had told him that since Ivar was a ‘senior’ at osteogenesis imperfecta might help the doctors with the right treatment for him.

He had also told Freydis to avoid calling him in the afternoon, having a big conference and being completely focused on it, since on it would depend the entire future of an important project.

The worst thing was that he hadn’t felt bad in the slightest to lie to her, being just happy of seeing again Eric.

He wouldn’t have chosen this doctor, but mostly because she focused onto pediatric medicine, but he could see where you came from, and what you could afford and couldn’t.

That’s why he had also decided to set up a deal for you about a financial help.

He knew you would be too stubborn to accept it, but you had a weak point: Eric.

He knew that the true reason why you were allowing him to see Eric was because he had been the one to insist with you to see Ivar again, and he couldn’t be happier.

You came in as Ivar was thinking that you would be late, just of a single minute before the start of the appointment, Eric stumbling happily on his crutches towards him, as you trailed behind him, with his jacket in your hands.

You were wearing jeans again, but a black skinny pair, and inserted in them was a white blouse with a jacket over it, in a casual elegance that stole his breath away.

Unlike Eric who literally smashed against him in a quick hug (he would have a quick talk with you about making Eric more wary of strangers), you simply smiled lightly at him, evidently at unease.

“Hey buddy!” he muttered as he ruffled the child’s hair and you sat down a chair away from him “… it’s nice to see you again”.

“You can tell me more stories!” squeaked Eric, gaining a look of reprimand from an old lady, to who Ivar glared enough to shut her up, before turning to his son, who was trying to sit on the chair.

“Hey… wait… I can help you” he insisted, worried about the way he moved, as a child he would have already broken a bone with such sudden gestures.

“No no, there is no need to” he spoke with confidence, finally settling himself onto the chair “… mom says that I am big enough to do it on my own!”.

“The doctor has told me that it is better for him to get used on doing things on his own” you explained, softly, as you set his jacket in his ‘Flash’ themed backpack.

He needed to watch that TV series, ASAP.

“… oh… I am just not used to it” although he was against it, he tried his best not to show any contrast to you as Heahmund had suggested.

But he couldn’t help but feel like it was just a tad irresponsible.

Aslaugh, his mother, would have never allowed it.

But his mother’s education had overprotected him to the point that it had smothered him and seeing the way Eric was so happy and hopeful he had to admit that maybe… maybe your parenting techniques weren’t bad.

He wasn’t allowed to think much more, because an Afro-American woman came out of the small ambulatory, with a medical jacket on her outfit and a smile on her face as Eric stood up, immediately greeting her.

“Auntie Caryn!” he ran to her, stumbling on his feet and hugged her, although he barely came to her waist, making the woman smirk as her gaze moved to you with a familiar smirk, moving then to Ivar.

And then shock and surprise was written on it.

He didn’t know what to say, suddenly a bit uncomfortable by the entire situation.

“Hello there, doc” you mumbled softly, taking back the child to calm him down, before turning to Ivar “… he is a friend of mine, the one… I talked about”.

He was worried about what you two had talked about but tried to be on his best behavior, smiling charmingly at the woman, who ushered you inside, simply mumbling a ‘oh this is new’.

Once inside she told Eric to get on the medical chair and wait for her, as you set up in a more private office, and you passed Caryn the medical records meanwhile Ivar sat down.

“He has been saying that his bones’ strength has been intensifying, but I don’t fully understand if he is saying it just to play soccer or…”.

“He plays soccer?” asked confused Ivar, feeling like he was basically a stranger in Eric’s life.

You turned to him annoyed, but still answered him.

“… yeah, he does, he is a goalie” and then turned towards the doctor “… today he woke up feeling pain, but it wasn’t enough to stop him or make him feel tired, still it hadn’t happened in three months”.

“That is a good sign” spoke softly the doctor, as she sat down examining exams after exams “… the level of pain endurance is always important to be kept under check in order for it not to worsen, unluckily it isn’t a proof of any bones strengthening”.

Your face immediately turned in a grimace, but you nodded lightly.

Ivar couldn’t help but notice how tense you were being, almost wanting to try to reach out for you, hadn’t he known that you would have rejected him, and such an open and heartfelt rejection would have pained him much harder than his legs.

“… and you must be the father” the words sounded uttered with a skepticism that brought Ivar back from his thoughts, and again it was you, who nodded.

Caryn had maintained her voice low, probably not to be heard by Eric.

“You share a similar pathology with Eric?” she continued, informing herself about his family history and his own treatment, which Ivar explained pretty quickly, getting the woman to nod along, meanwhile your grip onto the chair you hadn’t sat on tightened.

You definitely didn’t like doctor’s appointments, and he could understand why.

Aslaugh hadn’t either, but whereas you seemed to be more anxious, his mother had always and constantly been angry, with the doctor, with herself, with his father… her rage had always a great amount of varieties.

“… interesting” finished mumbling Caryn, before she dropped the papers and moved to her ambulatory, where Eric had ditched his pants and braces, and was now playing with the small action figures of Captain America.

“Ok, superhero, now go and lay down so that I can check your legs” told him the doctor and although Ivar was used to seeing his legs, he couldn’t help but be surprised by Eric’s, the same knocked and small bones he owned, lightly crooked in some places, in a way that seemed and was painful “… anything to tell me? Saved somebody lately?”.

“Just old ladies on cats on trees… you know… the old stuff” he joked, brightening the atmosphere “… I became a goalie in the soccer squad!”.

“Oh, that’s amazing!” complimented him the doctor, crouching down to the boy’s height as he sat himself in an upright position “… now let’s see how these pretty legs work”.

She did a quick check up, the child completely relaxing himself as she distracted him with some small talk, processing to touch up his legs and test his pain and strength.

Ivar moved his eyes from the check-up, only to check up onto you finding you nervous and tense, biting on your lips, as you tightened the grip on your hand, digging your colorful nails in your hands.

It was more natural then he had thought, but he reached out one hand out to you, uncaring of the rejection he had always feared so much.

But you gripped it back, giving it a light squeeze as your eyes focused themselves on Eric and Caryn, till the check-up came to a end and you almost freed ashamed your hand from his grip.

“... everything alright” commented Caryn “… I do think that the treatment is working, but I can’t be sure till a bone break which is something that I hope you’ll avoid young man”.

Eric beamed, promising to avoid ‘anything dangerous’, but the smart smirk on his face said the exact contrary.

She then left him to dress up with the promise of a lollipop in her office, scribbling something in his medical papers, as Ivar asked a few questions.

But Caryn asked the most important one.

“… am I going to see you, again?” she said with something that might have seemed spiteful, hadn’t he seen the way she had taken care of Eric and the way she smiled at you: she had been there when you had no one to turn to.

“I hope to stick around” he was a bit annoyed by the implication that he wouldn’t stick around.

But he could also see where she came from, having seen a single mom raising a child by her own.

He still wanted to explain to her that it wasn’t exactly his fault, but…

… he thought it was better not to.

You were trying to trust him and had even let him onto a physical level, but he couldn’t simply think that everything was now settled.

“… am I allowed to take part in the Sunday match?” asked Eric, once he was again on his feet and crutch “… it’s going to be my first real match!”.

“Of course, sweetie” commented the doctor, finishing writing and rummaging through a drawer before getting out a colorful lollipop, that basically made the biggest smile appear on Eric’s face “… see you next month, Eric”.

And then she turned to accompany you out, greeting you and Ivar as you already had the Eric’s jacket in your hands, trying to convince the child to wear it.

“… it was nice meeting you, Mr. Lothbrock, hope to see you next time”.

He tried not to grimace at the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“Mom can I eat the lollipop?” asked immediately Eric, as you smirked at him, having adjusted the jacket on his shoulder.

“Hey sweetie, I don’t think that would be a proper meal, for your afternoon break, but you can…”.

“What if we get ice cream?” suggested Ivar, knowing it was a low blow as you turned to glare annoyedly at him, but he wanted to spend time with his son, even if he had to use cheap tricks and childish ideas, because that’s all he had, against your big big brain and grunge against him.

“Yes yes yes!” and then he turned to you, although you had no chance “… can we please get ice cream, mom?”.

“I don’t think that my ‘no’ will stop you two” you mumbled, shooting an annoyed look at Ivar “… there is one near a park, so that we could talk”.

Well, that was troubling.

---

You cleaned Eric’s face, dabbing it with a small paper tissue, before sending the boy off to play, having to talk with Ivar, who was playing around with his own ice cream cup, messing his face the same way Eric did.

He had always been a messy eater, which was something that you didn’t mind since you, yourself, weren’t a polite one, but it brought you back to the old time when you were together and you would be sharing a plate of fries, after an hard session of studying.

“… did I do alright?” he commented, surprising you as he kept his eyes onto his meal “… maybe I exaggerated with the… ice cream…”.

“Eric seems to like you” you silenced him quietly, playing with Eric’s half-finished ice cream “… and as long as that keeps happening… you are alright”.

“Then maybe I could tell him” he suggested, his eyes shining brightly.

And like that you moved forward to look at him in the eyes, your grudge against him showing in your own eyes.

“Ivar, you broke my heart and I won’t let you do the same with my child” your tone was damnably serious, although you didn’t raise your voice “… so till I feel like I can trust you, you are simply a friend of mine”.

“Am I?” he raised an eyebrow with a smirk that had never failed to get on your nerve.

“I hope you can be” you breathed out softly, trying to gain the courage to speak with him again “… running away with Eric wasn’t the best idea, but I won’t apologize for doing what I thought was the best. I am still wary about your presence in my family, but it would be simply heartless to keep you out of it…”.

Ivar was now looking at you with surprise written all over in his face.

“… and unlike you I am not heartless” you delivered the finishing line and Ivar’s eyes veiled with sadness “… I hope you can understand where my distrust come from and respect it”.

“I don’t have a problem, as long as I can interact with Eric” although he seemed a bit hurt by your tongue-lashing “… he is a brilliant boy”.

“That he is” you spoke softening your tone at the mention of your boy, a you turned to see him trying to crawl up onto the small wooden castle in the park “… he is just gone through too much pain to also have his heart broken, again”.

“I’ll keep that in mind” he promised you and although Ivar might be a cunning little shit, you knew perfectly well that he would for ever ever hold the word he gave “… now… can I ask a few things about my child?”.

“I have photos for that”.

---

Although he knew that he hadn’t still won you over, as Ivar came back home he was the happiest man alive.

Eric was fine and although begrudgingly you had accepted his financial help, as long as you got to repay him, which he hoped would never happen, but you were too stubborn and honest.

He had always loved that about you.

Had he just said ‘love’?

He was halfway through looking at the photos you had shared with him, when he felt two pair of arms being pushed around his waist, gently hugging him from behind as Freydis pushed her head onto his shoulder.

“Ahh, it’s so nice to know that you aren’t dead” she commented, her tone as always soft, but he couldn’t help but notice something rotten in her tone, almost sarcasm.

“Sorry, sweetheart, just work… it’s been hectic” he confessed softly, turning around to kiss her softly on her forehead, his good mood unflinching even though she seemed a bit angry.

“… well you’ll have to take a bit off” her tone, again although gentle, didn’t allow any reply “… I have got some interesting news from the clinic”.

Which completely destroyed his good mood.

Because they either wanted him to undergo more therapy to strengthen his seed or they straight up wanted his seed, and he didn’t know which option was less interesting.

And more humiliating.

“I am all ears” he tried to muster a smile, thinking about the small video of Eric moving his first step, the braces on his legs so small that he had wanted to cry out “… is everyth…”.

“I am pregnant”.

Oh.

“Ivar, is everything alright?” her voice came to him as if it was too distant, far away and away “… it’s happy news, isn’t it”.

Of course.

They had been searching for that baby since they had become engaged and their wedding would be happening in three months, so he shouldn’t have felt that empty and apathetic towards that news.

Even more when he had the best time of his life with Eric.

He thought it was simply the shock and again mustered up a small smile on his face, hugging Freydis tight who had started crying on his chest, something that made the entire situation even more awkward.

“… I am just surprised sweetie, I didn’t think… hadn’t they said that the last sample of seed was too weak?” he asked.

Although he tried to leave the entire fertility clinic part at Freydis, since it was an entire new thing for him, whereas Freydis working in that climate, having a nurse degree, and being determinate about this, he still tried to keep track of it.

And the last time they had talked about it, Freydis had told him that the specialist had said that his seed was too weak to impregnate her, and the last two tries had gone badly.

There was something that wasn’t convincing him, but Freydis’ joy was so natural and sweet, and he just couldn’t call her a liar, and alongside that she rushed to the bathroom to retrieve the pregnancy test, showing itself as positive.

And in the end he couldn’t help but think that maybe his skepticism was a way to hide his guilt for having met Eric and you, ignoring Freydis, who would be his soon-to-be-wife and mother of the child she had worked so hard on having.

And maybe another part of his uneasiness about the subject was the fact that he hadn’t had a proper role in all this, but at the same time, again… that was partly his fault.

So, he just smiled through his teeth and gently tightened his grip on her waist, showing more enthusiasm in his smile, as she immediately matched him, kissing him softly on his lips as he smirked against them.

“Ahh beloved that is wonderful news!”

She moved to softly pepper his face with kisses, as she whispered about how lucky she had been and how beautiful it would all be.

‘It’ll just bring us together, even more!’ she cheered, as they sat down on the sofa, the pregnancy test forgotten onto their glass table ‘… that’s perfect timing’.

Ivar wasn’t so sure about it, but he faked a smile.

“We should celebrate it!” he proposed, feeling like the house was closing onto him “… our favorite restaurant, at 8 p.m.?”.

“Ahhh… I actually already did something…” she spoke softly, a slight blush gracing her beautiful face “… we had that dinner with Torvi and Ubbe… I thought it would be a perfect dinner to tell them the good news”.

And Ivar just swallowed his spiteful opinion and smiled.

“That’d be perfect sweetie”.

---

You kept on replaying the big smile that had been on Ivar’s face when you had showed him the first pictures of Eric.

At first you had been low key wary of showing something so intimate to him.

That was the main reason why you ditched social medias, but at the same time you felt like the journey you were on with Ivar, needed you both to take steps towards the other for the wellbeing of Eric.

Ivar had sacrificed his free time and had accepted to avoid admitting that he was Eric’s father, so you could show him a few silly pictures.

He had smirked brightly at the one of Eric overcoming the limits that his sickness had pushed him in, and you didn’t understand if he was happy for the child to have the chance he hadn’t had or if he was proud of your child.

Who was also his.

Either way, his smile haunted you as you crashed your head on the sofa, after you had managed to get Eric to start his ‘bedtime routine’, with your mother graciously taking care of the dishes as an apology of sorts for reaching out to Ivar without asking you.

You couldn’t help but feel fifteen again, having Ivar by your side, with that cute dorky smile of his, hidden with everyone but with you, as you smirked for a shared joke or when you caught him looking at you, concealing a smile that would make you blush.

But that was a dangerous road.

Because any memory about Ivar would bring you back to your ‘break-up’ story.

Although five years had passed, five years in which you had tried to desperately not think about Ivar, you still didn’t know why he had decided to break up with you.

The entire thing had just been too sudden and abrupt and you couldn’t help but think that the entire excuse of ‘having lost any feeling for you’ was the stupidest you had heard, and although you knew people had used some even more idiotic ideas.

But still… it had made no sense.

Ivar had never seemed the guy who was into it for simply the sex, unlike his brothers.

And maybe this was just an attempt to shift the focus from you, that you had been the problem.

Because it would have hurt you too much.

You were slowly spiraling down, when your phone started vibrating, signaling an incoming call, which either meant that Ivar wanted to schedule another appointment or you were being asked for another turn at the diner.

Both the ideas didn’t excite you particularly, but the number on the screen wasn’t known to you, and you thought it was maybe some publicity agency, so you were even more wary when answering it.

“… hello?” you mumbled, hearing a confused background till a familiar voice answered.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” you immediately recognized the voice of the owner of the gallery you had tried to get an internship in “It’s Tina from the gallery, am I bothering you?”.

‘No, I am just having a panic attack at the prospect of being pushed out of the best job I have had in a while’ you mentally thought but answered that it wasn’t a problem.

“I know it is late, but we have just finished a quick reunion and found ourselves to be very interested in working with you, the try-out was amazing…” you still didn’t understand how you had worked through it because you had felt like shit for the entire night, worried of having left Eric with Ivar “… so we thought about continuing on working with you, if you are still interested”.

“Oh” that was the best news ever “… of course! I’d like to work with you”.

“Then you start next week, a week trial, and then you are officially hired, I am sending to your email the timetable for this week”.

“Ahh yeah, thank you for the chance” you were honestly on the verge of tears “… see you on Monday”.

“See you on Monday” repeated softly Tina, before closing the call and you felt two pair of eyes on you, your mother having raised her face from the dishes and Eric who had listened onto the conversation.

And you couldn’t help but childishly reply:

“I got the job”.

“Then we have something to celebrate!” giggled your mother as Eric hugged you tight.

Maybe your life wasn’t going so badly…

---

He couldn’t help but feel like he just had to learn to be more discreet since the reveal of Freydis’ pregnancy, even more after his brothers had mentioned their meeting with (Y/N) at the diner.

‘Oh, Ivar hadn’t told me about it’ he had had a ‘Gone Girl’ flashback at Freydis’ voice and he had forced out a smile, replying with a simple:

‘It must have passed my mind’.

But Freydis had kept an eye out for him, hence the sole time he had had free from her he had spent it looking through Eric’s photos.

And he was desperately looking forward to Sunday morning since ‘Eric had wanted to invite him to his first soccer match’.

‘He is very excited’ you had mumbled over the phone, as he had basically locked himself on the bathroom at work to speak with you calmly ‘… it would mean a lot to me, my dad used to come before he…’.

Before he ran away.

He had worked some researches on your family after you had left your old city, which meant that he had heard the gossip his mother’s friends had for him.

‘Oh, Ivar you are such a sweet boy! It’s so nice of you to call him’ they had all mumbled and it hadn’t taken him much to discover the truth.

Your father had left you and your mother, running away with another woman and he found himself unable to stop the anger against that man from growing.

He had always thought that your father would have been one of the good ones: he was strict but not enough to have stopped you from hanging out with Ivar, outside of home, and he had been the one who had taken in Ivar although begrudgingly.

And from what he had seen and heard, he had loved your mother truly.

Had he also been dared by his friend to leave you and your mother?

Because he had then been as idiotic as Ivar.

And he could understand why you didn’t want Ivar back in your life.

“… so, let me know if you want to come” you had ended the call not giving him even a single moment to reply, as embarrassment was heard in your tone, clearly wanting to close this entire conversation early.

But he had the perfect timing, since Saturday Freydis had programmed an outing with her friends to let them know about the good news.

It was all Freydis had done, showing off the good news to everyone who would listen, receiving mixed reaction: polite smiles to her face and mutters under their breaths.

Their brothers had later cornered him after dinner to ask him if he really wanted this.

‘This is all moving too fast, Ivar, don’t you realize it?’ had uttered Ubbe.

Which he agreed on, but he would be damned if he admitted he was wrong and didn’t have everything under control.

‘… it might be a scam Ivar’ had uttered Sigurd and that was then when he had lost it.

‘Just because my life is going perfectly already and yours is shitty as hell doesn’t mean that mine is an illusion’ he had replied, harshly quitting any protests ‘… this is beautiful news and we should celebrate it’.

But he had been still nervous to utter it to his mother, mostly because she had been already angered by Ubbe’s quick eloping, which hadn’t lasted even more to prove her words, so he was trying to avoid doing the same.

And he also knew that he had to come clear with Freydis about Eric, because although he might have another child on the way, he wouldn’t simply abandon his previous one.

He just couldn’t do it to him.

And to you.

So, he had issued another reunion with Heahmund and Oleg, his business partner, about the entire problem, in order to get a second opinion on this entire mess, no matter how much he hated asking for help.

“We need to talk about a situation”.

“The one we talked about last Saturday after you barged ‘on my date’? “mumbled Heahmund, with a raised eyebrow.

“What situation?” asked annoyed Oleg, as he played around with some papers on the desk, trying to adjust them till they were perfectly set up, showing all his perfectionist nature.

“…. Ivar over here has a child, out of wedlock and from a high school sweetheart” quickly summarized “… and Freydis know no shit about it”.

“Ok that is interesting enough” mumbled Oleg, focusing his gaze onto Ivar “… do you need to make them disappear? I know people…”.

Both Heahmund and Ivar regarded him with a deep gaze of ‘what the fuck’, and he shook his head, mumbling about how ‘it was just an idea’.

“No, I… I actually want a relationship with my child and I am slowly reaching it” he muttered, explaining softly how you were slowly letting him in, although you refused to admit to Eric he was his father “… the problem is that… Freydis is pregnant”.

“Do you need me to make her disappear” again the glares told Oleg to shut up and Ivar wondered why he had asked him for help “… ok no disappearing, but …”.

“Dumbass you haven’t told her yet about the baby?” replied Heahmund, basically glaring at Ivar.

“I didn’t… I literally didn’t have the time” he mumbled, blushing furiously “… it all seemed so sudden, so I just had to come to your idiotic asses to get advise on when and how to tell Freydis about all this shit”.

“… well… I don’t think that there is a good way to do this” mumbled Oleg, nervously “… I’d say you just rip off the band aid”.

“… and risk your entire life” added Heahmund with a sarcastic drip in his voice, which made Ivar huff, because it was everything he had been thinking about.

Although Freydis hadn’t ever been jealous, she hadn’t had exactly much competition, he couldn’t imagine how painful it would have been for her to discover that Ivar had a previous child and that he intended contact, probably the most painful thing.

But still he couldn’t see an outcome of this in which Freydis would stop him from actually seeing you and Eric: she had always had this maternal instinct to her that he hoped wouldn’t have clashed with you and Eric.

But he couldn’t be sure till he asked.

And maybe he shouldn’t have.

Because when Freydis found out, accidentally, that Friday night, he couldn’t help but feel like all hell had broken loose.

He had meant to tell her on Sunday, maybe after he got her favorite breakfast and the new jewelry set, she had seen her admiring in her favorite store, in order for the truth to be sweetened.

To make it clear that as much as he might continue on seeing you because of Eric, it would never ever make him forget of her, the mother of his future child.

His soon-to-be-wife.

But everything had been destroyed that Friday night when he had come back to find Freydis on the sofa with the face of somebody who had discovered something she hadn’t meant to.

He still had tried his best to appear polite and nice.

“Hey sweetie, is everything alright?” he had tried to ask, but she had just sent him an annoyed look, before her small voice had uttered.

‘… maybe you could start with talking of your happy family’ she had replied, and he had known that she had caught him.

“It isn’t what you think” he had mumbled the most recriminating thing ever.

“Then explain to me why the hell Kristen caught you talking with a woman that wasn’t me” she had raised up, almost as if she had intended to challenge him, effectively getting him to move slightly away nervous.

He couldn’t help but feel that although he knew he was at fault here, Freydis was exaggerating the entire thing: he might have been simply speaking to a colleague.

“… and as if it wasn’t already enough, a child… WITH LEG BRACES!”.

He stumbled more and lost hold on his legs as he fell on his butt, hitting it soundly a terrible sickening sound of broken bones overcoming Freydis’ shout.

But what he found even more terrifying was that she didn’t move further, to try to help him or check on him, she just pierced him with her eyes as he tried to push himself back, failing miserably due to the pain coursing through his bones.

“… Freydis… I haven’t cheated on you”.

“That’s what all cheaters say”.

His hands weren’t able to grip, the pain was too much, so he reached in the pockets of his coat to retrieve some painkiller, swallowing a few pills dry, meanwhile Freydis went on a tirade on ‘how stupid she had been’ and ‘how horrible he was’.

“I seriously didn’t cheat on you, Freydis!” he shouted angrily, maybe more than he should have but he was in so much pain that he couldn’t simply put his usual filter on his words “… fuck Freydis, can’t you just shut up and let me at least explain?”.

She did, her eyes showing fear and he took a deep breath, checking his legs till he found the lump, and checked whether he had simply broken or bruised a bone, thankful when it resulted only very very badly bruised.

“… she is an old school girlfriend of mine…” he explained calmly, lowering softly his gaze “… we had sex once… and she got pregnant, I have only recently discovered of her and the child and I have been trying to \reconnect with him”.

“You…” Freydis looked like the one who was going to pass out from pain, as she stumbled back till the sofa where she sat gracefully, her gazed unfocused “… you had sex with her”.

“It’s the only time we did it, I… was never able again…”.

“So… you could have sex” she covered her mouth with a hand quickly “… you had sex… but you can’t with me…”.

And he understood that this had more repercussions that he might have realized.

“… Freydis I don’t know… I love you much much more than her… you know it… my prick is just…”.

“… and you had a child with her” she continued “… you are involved in this, you want to recognize him”.

“Of course, I want to! He is my child!” the words were natural to him as if her accusations were hurting him.

“… and what about my child?” she replied, her voice more a whisper before he spoke “… the one I worked so so hard for! Undergoing so many shitty therapies, just for you to recognize as your own a bastard child!”.

And that’s when he completely broke down.

“He is my fucking child, Freydis!” and before she could retort he finally managed to push himself on his own feet “… he isn’t a bastard or any less of the one in your womb and if you aren’t able to accept it, the door is there”.

And he shot out an arm to where the door was set up.

Looking back at it he wouldn’t have believed the threat he had sent to Freydis, powered by his anger and his pain, even for his usual anger it had been too much, but her accusation… how she had called Eric, his child, a ‘bastard’… had hit him in the face.

It had almost been a personal insult.

That’s why he also didn’t move in to stop her as she collected a few of her clothes in a small bag and pushed the coat onto her shoulder, barely looking back at Ivar who had managed to set himself onto the sofa again, not giving her a single drop of attention.

He couldn’t help but be pained with the way the door sounded once she closed it behind her, a light sniffling following her outside the room, as more sobs followed it.

But he felt almost cold and insensitive as a rock.

And he wouldn’t ask forgiveness for defending his son.

Even if he fell asleep alone at night.

Had he done the right choice?

---

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