#but i did give him blue arms. idk why i kinda like em better but i can go either way

[trees-to-meet-you]

[bibiwrld]

Nerdy loser Anakin Skywalker!— Turned Bad Boy!

Pairing: Nerdy loser Anakin! x Black fem oc!

Author’s note: I honestly thought this was a cute and funny idea. Kinda short, but I’m thinking of a part 2, idk.

Bad boy! Bad boy!

Whatcha gonna do?

Can’t run away from ‘em

💋!

They weren’t girlfriend and boyfriend, that’s what they agreed on until Sydnee was ready and he was fine with that. Anakin thought what they had was special and he wouldn’t want to ruin it, but he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous when he’d see Sydnee talking to other guys around campus. They didn’t look like Anakin, they looked cooler— wearing fashionable and darker clothes, messy dark hair, piercings, always had a cigarette between their lips and they spoke with such vulgars words.

Was that allowed? Talking to other people?

Even if he wanted to, Anakin couldn’t, no other girl caught his eyes quite like Sydnee did. She was the only one for him.

He paced his living room with his phone to his ear, listening to it ring. “Pick up, pick up—”

“Anakin, it’s late, this better be some type of emergency.” Obi-Wan, his older brother, groaned.

“I-it is!” Anakin interjected, standing in place. “I met a girl.” His voice now a little more hushed.

Obi-Wan almost choked. “A girl?!”

“Don’t sound so shocked.” He said with rolled eyes. “I just need..a–a little advice.”

“I’m your older brother, that’s what I’m here for.”

“Do you think girls like edgy bad boys?” He plopped down on his couch.

“Some girls do, yeah. Girls think they’re cooler, more attractive, assertive. They like laid back guys, very nonchalant, guys who just don’t give a shit, y’know?”

Anakin was none of those things.

“I should just fake it, huh?” He adjusted his glasses.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Little did Obi-Wan know what he told his younger brother, was the worst advice ever.

Right after that phone call, Anakin went on a shopping spree. Buying a new wardrobe that consisted of dark tees with cool graphics, dark long sleeved shirts and baggy jeans. He also stopped at Target and bought black and blue hair dye, fake piercings and contact lenses.

He stood in front of his mirror, listening to the audiobook of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, with a patch of blue in his hair.

He couldn’t believe he was going through with this. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling.

His arms grew tired as he dabbed a section of his hair with a hair dye brush coated in black hair dye. He prayed this came out good, finally putting a clear plastic cap on his head.

💋

“I was thinking of hitting up this club tomorrow night, I heard they got male strippers.” Lilian slowly scrolled on her phone giggling.

“Wait for real?” Chloe leaned all the way into Lilian trying to look at her phone. “Oh my God, they’re hot.”

Sydnee didn’t really care to look, she had other things to worry about, like where Anakin was. He didn’t send a good morning text like he usually does every morning, as he’s always up before her, she hasn’t seen him around campus and it usually doesn’t take long for her to see him walking around.

“What’s your problem, Sydnee?” June asked with obvious attitude, chewing her gum obnoxiously as her nails clicked against her phone.

Sydnee doesn’t know why she still hung around this girl, she was so rude and annoying. “I’m just wondering where Anakin is, that’s all.”

“Now that you mention it, I didn’t see him in Physics today.” Chloe rested her chin into her palm, suddenly thinking about Anakin.

“Seriously girl?” June scoffed. “You’re still hung up on that guy? It was one thing to fuck him, but to actually give a shit about him is crazy.”

Sydnee’s fist balled up, slowly turning her head towards the obnoxious snob. Before Sydnee or Chloe could say something in defense of Anakin, Lilian cut them off.

“Is that..is that Anakin?” Her tone was a mix of surprised and a bit of disbelief.

Sydnee quickly turned around, searching the busy cafeteria for the boy with glasses, but she didn’t see him at all. She squinted, then noticed a tall guy in an army green tee, baggy ash jeans, grey converse and black, messy hair, sluggishly walking over to them.

She could only stare in awe, her eyes just following him as he got closer. She noticed he had on black eye shadow, messily smeared on his lids.

He dropped his bag on the floor, sitting beside Sydnee. “Hey doll face.” He removed the cigarette from his lips, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Doll face?” Sydnee silently muttered to herself. He’s never talked like that, ever.

“Sup girls?” He nodded to the 3 girls.

“Uh..hey?” Lilian rose a brow.

“What’s with the look?” Chloe asked.

He focused hard on every word, trying not to stutter.

“Can’t a guy express himself?” He snapped, slouching and spreading his legs.

“I think he looks better this way.” June gave small nods.

Of course she did.

Sydnee rolled her eyes at June, then brought her attention back to Anakin. She reached her hand out to fix his hair . “You have bed head, Ani—”

He corrected her, moving his head so she couldn’t touch it. “Anakin and that’s just how my hair is.”

“Well Anakin, you missed Physics class.” She narrowed her eyes at him, taken back by his actions. “And you didn’t text me, I was worried.” Her voice softened, a pout on her lips.

He took a small drag from his cigarette. “Woke up late.” It took everything in him not to choke.

“You never wake up late.” Her brows furrowed.

“Are you wearing eye makeup?” Chloe leaned over, examining him.

His voice was a bit shaky, trying to maintain that dominant tone. “No…?”

“Okay, liar.” Lilian chuckled.

Sydnee looked him over and over again, noticing every detail about him. She didn’t hate the look, but she was a bit confused.

“What’s with the cigarette? You don’t even smoke cigarettes.” Sydnee felt like she was losing her mind. “And your hair…did you dye this yourself? And when did you get all these piercings?”

Anakin shrugged. “I’ve found myself, y’know?”

Sydnee knew something was up, but she didn’t know what. “Where are your glasses?”

“Don’t need em.” Smoke escaped his pink lips.

“Can you stop with the smoking? We’re indoors.” She screwed up her face.

“Whatever.” He took the cigarette from his lips, smushing it at the heel of shoe, then flicked it off somewhere.

June then jumped in. “Why don’t you stop complaining and appreciate that your boy toy looks hot?”

That was it.

Sydnee grabbed her bag and abruptly stood up. “Go fuck each other.” Looking June and Anakin in the eyes before storming off.

Anakin internally panicked, this wasn’t going how he planned it was.

“What’s her deal?” June screwed up her face.

“You obviously don’t know what the deal is because there is no fucking deal.” He spat before grabbing his bag to chase after Sydnee.

Sydnee hustled down the hall, stepping harshly with arched brows.

“Sydnee!” His voice called out. “Sydnee!”

She rolled her eyes and stopped walking, leaning against the wall with crossed arms. “What is it, Anakin?”

“Y-you’re mad.” He frowned, standing in front of her.

“Well duh.”

“I-I’m sorry.” He breathed out. “I thought you’d like m-me..like this.”

“I don’t hate how you look, but the way you’re acting, why would I like that?” She looked away.

“B-Because I saw you talking t-to guys…that l-looked like this.” He breathed out. “I-I thought i-if I–uh— if I looked and acted like them, maybe you’d l-like me more.” He hung his head low.

Her arms gradually unfolded at his confession. “Anakin, what?”

“I-I know, it’s sooo em-embarrassing.” He groaned. “I-I hate cigarettes!” He then tugged off one of the fake earrings. “Th-these aren’t even real!”

Sydnee couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re too cute, Anakin.” She cupped his face, bringing it down to hers.

“Call me Ani, plea-please, I like it when you call m-me that.” He nuzzled his face into her hands.

She couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t ever change yourself, I like you just as you are.” She brought her lips to his, tasting the cigarette he smoked, but she didn’t care.

His hands found her waist, bringing her in closer.

The smacking of their lips were the only things heard in the empty halls. She softly tugged on his bottom lip, making him moan out.

“So cute.” She muttered before pulling away. “You do look really hot though.”

“Really?” He beamed.

“Yeah.” She bit her lip. “How about we go back to your place and fuck with your little bad boy cosplay on, hm?”

He covered his mouth in excitement. “Oh my God, y-you’re so insanely a-attractive.”

She giggled, holding his hand. “Come on, bad boy Anakin.”

💋

[cloudsrust]

Do u have any personal head cannons for the OFF folks??? I am 👂👁👂

*cracks knuckles* Let’s see how many of them I remember- it’s been years after all sygdhf. Headcanons under the cut since it’s quite long.

Elsens: (think I already talked about these ones but Imma repeat them here for order. Also yes starting with the Elsens because I love them to bits sobs;;)

-Since they are so many, they start off with numbers as their names. To have one of their own they gotta either earn it or they just use nicknames among each others. -They cannot normally travel through zones on their own will. They can only do so through a demontion/promotion or because of the will of their Guardian.

-Being bitten or wounded by a spectre isn’t always mortal for them, the stress of the attack can be however. Not because they become burnt (gonna get to it to the next point), but because they either: A) get eaten/killed off by the spectre due to them being vulnerable in that state, so they aren’t able to fight back. B) They’re disposed off by their guardian as damage and stress control. (Would’nt want other elsens to see them on a rampage and become burnt too afterall.)

- I believe they can still live after turning burnt- they won’t have a head anymore but they can be calmed down to go back to their “normal” lives. Having no head means no eyes- so from that point on they’ll have to live with being blind. In Zone 1 being blind, or just remotely impaired for that matter, is a death sentence- unless Zone 3 is searching for blind workers specifically- after all they got a certain job in which not seeing can be preferable..

- This is an headcanon I got by seeing the artwork of the artist @/katatumuripai (Their Elsen art is both cute and creepy- but extremely cool looking! I really suggest you check ‘em out!). Spectres/other enemies only attack if they sense deep fear or if they are threatened (approaching them can easily be seen as threat too)- but if they’re left in peace and not forced into contact they’re safe to be around. They can even warm up to a certain Elsen and become like pets for them. Batter:

-*Deep breath* ...nonbinary Batter. Agender/Gendervoid to be more precise. They got a mission to fulfill, they got no time for stuff like gender. (Also idk why but I feel it fits their whole thing of purity.. really no idea why it does tho;;;)

-Their eyes are always closed, as if in some kind of trance- especially when the Puppeteer is in control of them. When left “stringless” they can open their eyes, but why should they? (enter a whole speech of them wanting to keep themselves pure even in mind/not wanting to see the world in such state for personal taste.) I like the idea of you only seeing their eyes once you’re not in control of them anymore- in the Judge ending. (Also explains why you literally need to throw eyes at your opponent to know their weak points/stats lmao.)

Zacharie:

-If you ask him what’s their gender they’re gonna answer either “Merchant” or ignore the question. He vibes with any pronouns.

-Under their mask? Void. Just a pair of frog like eyes starring back at you.

-Has a collection of unusual/rare items (the ones you can collect and give to them for either the Aries card or the Ashley bat (Can’t believe I still remember that after 5 years lmao)) that he would never sell (shocking I know.)

-He might look a bit out of shape/weak but they have an impressive strenght. Better not mess with them.

-This is... very self indulgent but- they travelled across all of the zones not only to to fulfill his role as a merchant but also to collect enough colors for Sucre (ex. the Red of the meat fountains, the Blue of the library walls, the Yellow of the sand in Zone 0, etc.). They wanted to paint a rainbow for her in their hiding spot (Yes I still think about “Somewhere over the Rainbow” as the ending song to this day sdhsgds). Every reset he hopes to have enough time or well... luck- to do so with her before the world is turned OFF.

Sucre:

-Genderfluid Sucre... and she likes to use she/her pronouns the most! (She likes the sound of them.)

-An artist at heart. No matter what she got she will find a way to turn it into art- be it painting, music, dance, crafting.. anything goes!

-Was found and adopted by Zacharie as a sibling. They have a very strong bond.

-Extremely hyperactive and willing to know others but will get uneasy/anxious if there are too many people around.

The Judge/Pablo and Valerie:

-Very good at table top games/card/chess, no matter if they require skill or just luck- they seem to always win! A match between the two of them is a sight to behold.

-Both love to read, but Judge prefers witty comedies while Valerie is more interested in unusual tragedies (eh.. see what I did here? ..I’ll show myself in the corner.)

Dedan:

-*Even deeper breath* ...Italian Dedan. Listen I know the creator might’ve been joking and I don’t even know how nationalities or stuff would work in OFF bUT- I’m using the headcanon. (I need a badass and scary Italian character in my life y’all;;).

-Following the previous headcanon, he slips into Italian cursing when EXTREMELY angered. (And I don’t know about you all but when someone starts screaming profanities in Italian I get SCARED- it’s just so harsh,,)

-He is quite good at sewing, he needed to get good at it to fix up his coat (A gift from the queen herself) after every spectre attack- but he took a liking in it.  He now makes leather aprons out of the cows’ coats for his barns’ workers.

-He has retractable claws, kinda like a feline.

Japhet:

-They can change their size/body age- like a phoenix but they do so on their own will. (That’s how I explain their size changes during their boss fight. -At times they like to choose an Elsen in their library and just use their head as a nest for a nice nap. (While in their smallest form of course.)

Enoch:

-A good cook- but I wouldn’t trust his choice in ingredients..

-(Tw: possible cannibalism mention) There is a rumor around the lower class elsens of his factory that he eats his own rebellious employees whole- it’s just a rumor they hope.

-His body is very.. malleable. (Him using the tubes of his factory to get to the station before you)

-He smells like a snake, using his tongue. (listen he got no nose sdsgdhs)

The Queen:

-She is known as the Queen of a thousands faces because her expression/traits depends on the feelings/emotions of those who see it. The reason why we see her without a face is because we are seeing her through Batter’s “eyes”, a being with no emotions or feelings.

-Those tentacle arms are perfect for hugs and you can’t tell me otherwise.

-Her hair can move by her will.

Don’t have any headcanons for poor Hugo unfortunately,, These are all the ones that I remember right now though!

[the-hopeless-haze]

Someone You Have to Let In (Being Alive Chapter 7)

A/N: this is another long one - like 5-6k words? IDK! Someone needs to stop me lol. This chapter gave me so much grief so I hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, suspect gets handsy; par for the course for SVU episode

Read on Archive

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Rafael walks up the stairs to the precinct, his pulse racing and his heart pounding in his ears. Even his stomach feels queasy, and he can’t remember the last time he was ever this anxious. Olivia called him at one in the morning, saying she needed him there to talk about where they could get with this case. She never mentioned you - and he knew you were set up to be the thirst trap. Why wouldn’t she say anything about how you were? All he can think is the worst, and of course, she wouldn’t say anything to him. She may have suspected something was going on between the two of you, but she was never going to push his buttons and call him out on it over the phone. But that also meant that if you were hurt... he’d be the last to know. You hadn’t called him on your own, either, so something must have happened.

And sure enough, when he gets to the bullpen you’re at your desk, alone, huddled in a shock blanket, staring listlessly at the walls. Your makeup is done up like a working girl’s, all heavy dark eyeshadow and red lipstick, and he can see peeks of a tight sequined black dress underneath the blanket and torn fishnets on your legs. Eventually, your gaze meets his and you furrow your brow in confusion as he walks quicker toward you.

“What’s the matter with you?” you ask.

“What's the matter with me? (Y/n), what the hell? Why didn’t you call me?” he asks frantically. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Rafael,” you say as he kneels down in front of you. “Be quiet. They’re going to hear you and Sonny’s gonna be back any minute.“

“You think I care about that? What the hell happened?”

“Nothing! I’m fine. Olivia just didn’t want me in the room with him. It’s okay,” you mutter, shrugging. “I’m only wearing the blanket because I’m cold. Nothing happened to me.”

Rafael walks over to you and kneels down in front of you, peeling the blanket off to reveal fresh bruises and scratches, the imprints of another man’s fingertips and nails brandishing the skin of your shoulders. “Nothing happened to you? Bullshit. What’s all over your arms, cariño?”

“He got handsy. What did you think was going to happen? But do you honestly think Olivia would let anything worse than that happen to me? I’m okay,” you say defensively as tears build up in your eyes.

“You don't look okay! Why are you crying, then? (Y/n)--"

“Why are you yelling at me?” you cut him off, your voice straining as you wipe under your eyes with the back of your hands, black streaks of eyeliner smudging onto them. “Jesus Christ. You’re making me feel like I'm the one you're prosecuting. Go do your job. Don’t worry about me.”

But he did worry, now, because you had somehow figured out how to weasel into his life even though the No Vacancy sign was flashing. And it doesn’t even feel like a choice, it feels more like he owes it to you, and he’s honestly not sure how much he likes that. Still, though, he presses his lips to yours and takes off his suit jacket, draping it around your shoulders, giving you something of him to comfort you and put over the wounds someone else caused you. And isn’t that all love is? A healing balm for the pain we’ve been caused?

Rafael swallows thickly. He can’t be bothered to think of that now. He cares about you, but he doesn’t love you. Right?

Okay then.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Stop crying,” he says, trying to level his voice.

You laugh a little, a few tears still rolling down your cheeks. “Wow. You could teach a class on comfort. Stop crying? Who knew that was all anyone had to say?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do,” he whispers, reaching down and squeezing your hands.

“Hey. You got me to laugh. And anyway... It’s okay. I told you I’m fine.”

You don’t say anything else, and Rafael really doesn’t know what else to do, so he just kisses you, one of his hands leaving yours to smooth down your hair.

“I’m okay,” you whisper against his lips as you pull away. “You weren’t called here because of me. Go do your job.”

“(Y/n)—“

But he’s cut off from continuing because he hears the bullpen office door open and he glances up at you. “I told you Sonny was gonna be back,” you whisper, and your eyes are urging him to go but it’s too late. You’re still wearing his suit jacket and Rafael has your lipstick on his mouth. The unspoken “secret” is going to be spoken now, and fuck it, maybe it’s about time.

“Hey, (y/n), they didn’t have that tea you wanted so I got you a hot chocolate and... oh. I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?” he says as he walks in, standing in front of your desk with a tray of hot drinks and a bag of pastries.

“No,” you say. “Rafael was just gonna go see what Liv needed.”

“I know that, but I mean...” His blue eyes dart between you and Rafael knowingly and he grins. “Guess you weren’t lying about the boyfriend just so I’d stop trying to set you up with my Fordham buddies.”

“No,” you say, winking at Rafael. “I deserve better than that, anyway. I like ‘em Harvard Law educated.”

Even Rafael has to laugh at that, especially when Carisi rolls his eyes as he puts the food down on his desk. “You got her dogging Fordham now, Barba? She used to be such a nice girl, too.”

“Mm. Rafael made me mean just like him,” you giggle, clearly having too much fun with this. “He’s an awful influence.”

“Well, damn. I guess Amanda was right. I mean, we all kinda figured, but... Amanda would’ve bet her whole life savings that something was going on. Well, good for you guys. You want me to keep my mouth shut, too, or...?”

“Can we trust you to?” you ask.

“Won’t even tell Sarge. Promise.”

“Mm. No. It’s okay, (y/n),” Rafael interjects was he glances at you. “I think it’s time we give up the charade, don’t you?”

“I’ve only been saying that for a good two months,” you tease, but you lean over and press your lips to the side of his mouth. Was this how you were going to be, now that you could show affection in front of them? Maybe this is part of why he wanted it under wraps; he didn’t want the squad to see just how much he had let you into his life. He has a reputation to uphold, and a lot of it was built on the fact that he came off as stoic, stern, and standoffish. And yet, with a simple touch, you destroyed that illusion and made it seem like the front that it was.

“Olivia’s going to be wondering where you are. I’m fine. Go,” you tell him, and he nods, squeezing your hand again before getting up and heading down the hallway to meet her.

The case seemed simple enough, although he needs a positive ID from the rape victims and the suspect wasn’t budging. He kept telling Amanda that you wanted it, and it’s all Rafael can do to not break through the glass and choke him out. And it’s not that Rafael was jealous, because he wasn’t. As long as you wanted him more than others, that was all that mattered, and he knows you’d never want this son of a bitch in a million years. But he’d never quite had the sympathy for upset significant others in these situations until now. Listening to this asshole talk in hypotheticals about what he’d do to you? Thank god you weren’t subjected to listen to this.

“Sorry for waking you up,” Olivia says. “But thank you for coming. I wanted to know what you thought when we brought him in.”

“It’s fine, Liv,” he says. “I don’t sleep anyway. Besides, it’s always good to get ahead. Is (y/n) set to testify? She’s going to need to, considering she was bait and...I know that can be difficult for her. I just want this airtight.”

“She’s just a little shaken right now. Did you talk to her when you came in?”

“Yes. You know what happened to her, though, when she was younger, don’t you? I just don’t think it’s fair to have her be the one who draws the suspects out like that, considering..."

Olivia’s eyes widen and she touches his shoulder, forcing him to look at her worried facial expression. “Did she say something to you? I know she can push herself too far sometimes, but I wouldn’t have allowed this if I thought she wasn’t able to handle it.”

“No. I think she can handle it. I just don’t think she should have to.”

Her hand squeezes his shoulder gently before letting go, and she gives him a tight smile. "I know. It's really sweet that you care so much, though, Rafael. I guess you really do have a soft spot for her, hm?"

"Oh Jesus Christ, Olivia. Just say that you know I've been seeing her outside of work,” he sighs exasperatedly.

Olivia laughs, her brown eyes gleaming. "I was wondering if you were ever going to tell me. Carisi catch you?"

"Maybe."

"So how long? Amanda thinks six months, but I wasn't sure."

Rafael snickers. "You need to keep her on a leash. But no. She's right. It's been about six months."

"Well, good for you, Rafael."

“So what happens now?”

“You take her home.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah. That’s it.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Upset? Why would I be upset? I think you two are good for each other. You keep her grounded, she keeps you young.”

Rafael scoffs. “Nice armchair psychoanalysis.”

“Is that why you tried to keep it hidden, though? You thought I was going to be upset?”

“I don’t know. I’m a lot older—“

“Not my concern. If she's okay with it, who am I to intervene? She’s not someone I ever pictured you with, but... like I said. You’re good for each other, and I trust you to keep things in line. You have so far.”

“Maybe not, if everyone figured it out."

"Well, you may be careful to a fault, Rafael, but subtlety is not your strong suit."

"Do I want to know what that refers to?"

"Probably not," she says, her brown eyes teasing. "But I was sitting next to you at the bar a few weeks ago and that's when I knew without a shadow of a doubt."

It takes Rafael a minute to think back to what she might be thinking of - so what, he left abruptly? Amanda was the one who got you two in a cab together... and then he remembers his hands between your thighs and your hands between his, and he feels his face flush of its own accord. "I'm sorry--"

"Keep in mind that I have eyes, and this is fine with me, okay?" Olivia laughs. "You might have a tougher time with the D.A., though."

Rafael shrugs, willing his blush to cool down. "I'll deal with it when the time comes.”

Just then, Amanda and Nick come out from the interrogation room, and immediately Amanda’s saying, “Hey, what’s got Barba all flustered? (Y/n) in that dress too much for him?”

Rafael shoots Olivia a glare. “That leash? It needs to be about ten inches shorter.”

Olivia chuckles and looks at Amanda. “Cat’s out of the bag, Amanda. You were right. He just admitted it.”

“Son of a bitch,” Nick sighs. “I can’t believe I’m going to be out $100 for this shit.”

“You actually bet on us?” Rafael asks incredulously. “You two are unbelievable. I thought you weren’t supposed to gamble, Rollins?”

“It’s not gambling when you know you’ll win, is it?” Amanda grins. “Thanks for the $100, Barba.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he snarks.

“You charging him so we can get out of here?” Nick asks.

“Yeah. Attempted assault for now so we can book him,” Rafael says, nodding.

Rafael talks to the suspect’s lawyer and has a conversation that will give him a headache into tomorrow, but there isn’t much to be said when there’s footage of him grabbing you thanks to cameras set up outside the club. And for the first time, he gets to leave the precinct with you without staggering your departure times so the squad didn’t see you leave together. He's surprised at how nice it is, even if he could do without Amanda and Carisi's comments.

“I told you it wouldn’t be so bad if they knew. I honestly don’t think they care as much as you thought they were going to,” you say as you walk with him down the stairs, your hand in his. You’re still clad in his suit jacket, wearing it like it was yours now, even buttoning one of the buttons toward the top.

“Still. It’s not exactly appropriate that we’re seeing each other.”

“Yeah, I know. But thank you for coming around.”

Rafael doesn’t say anything, just hails a cab. You lean your head against his shoulder as you wait, your tousled hair brushing against his lips. “Are you sure you’re alright? I watched the footage and—“

“I’m fine, Rafael. Really. Bruises will heal.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

You’re about to answer but a cab pulls over and you get in wordlessly, Rafael following. He thinks you’re about to continue, but you don’t, you stay silent.

“(Y/n)? Talk to me,” he says gently after a few moments.

You draw in a breath, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I’ll be alright, honey. I mean, I had to expect that would happen. This is what happens when you’re the youngest female detective on the squad... and... let’s just say I look forward to getting older.”

“They can’t force you to go undercover like that. I can talk to—“

“No. You’re not talking to anyone for me, tough guy,” you say, smiling softly. “It’s not like that. I offered. I hate doing it, but...whenever I do, I just think about how I’m going to get away practically unscathed because I have a whole team of detectives watching out for me. What about all those girls who don’t have that? I’m doing it for them, so we get these pieces of shit off the street. It’s just... what gets to you is them looking at you like another piece of meat. That’s what haunts me, that’s what’s going to keep me up at night... but I’m okay.”

“It doesn’t sound like it! Jesus Christ.”

“It was worse doing it for homicide in Boston, looking into eyes that envisioned you dead,” you say, and Rafael feels a shiver run up his spine. “Believe me. I’ve had worse nights.”

“I just don’t think you should be doing it at all, though, given what happened to you—“

“It’s part of the job. It’s not the same. I expected this,” you murmur, and you’re silent for the rest of the ride, and you’re silent as you walk up to the apartment with him, and you’re silent as you take your makeup off in his bathroom, sullen tears slipping from your eyes down your cheeks. Rafael stands in the doorway, feeling that pit in his stomach grow stronger.

“Cariño? Why are you crying? Did I push you too far? I’m sorry.” He walks in, coming to stand next to you.

“It’s... the rape. Sometimes I still feel like I’ll never get over it.”

“Oh, bebita,” he exhales, his heart breaking a little, you seeping in through the cracks. In his career, he dealt with many victims of horrible things, men and women of similar circumstances to yours. He never quite thought about what happened to them after he prosecuted their rapists, never thought of the havoc it could wreak even decades later, and now he feels terrible for it. Who was he to think his prosecution of their rapists did anything more than placate them momentarily? “Did I do something wrong? I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s not you. You’ve been so good,” you say, wiping your eyes with the tissue, a few leftover streaks of mascara bleeding onto it. “I don’t know. I was always told I’d never be a detective by my superiors in the academy, that I’d be stuck doing desk work because I was ‘too emotional’ or ‘too damaged’. I lasted a week in the Crimes Against Children Unit in Boston. A fucking week! The only reason I ever made it out onto the field was because the homicide lieutenant was desperate for staff. He would alternate between keeping the training wheels on and then taking them off, and it was just sickening. I never felt like a real detective. And here, I mean... Olivia’s like that too, kind of, but at least she only makes me step back when it is absolutely necessary. I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have been a detective. It would’ve been nice to have one part of my life this didn’t touch.”

“Come here,” Rafael says quietly, because he doesn’t know what else to say, and he lets you into his embrace, hugging you tightly into his chest. “You’re a great detective, and I’m not just saying that, (y/n). But you don’t have to do this to do your job. I don’t see Carisi wearing skintight dresses and I don’t see him with bruises up and down his arms, and he still gets paid the same as you.”

“Mm, Sonny in a skintight dress? That’d be something to see,” you giggle. “But I told you why I do this. It’s not just because I want to prove myself to the NYPD, it’s to protect those girls—“

“Okay. That’s admirable. But you’re paying for it now. And who’s protecting you?” You lift your head from his chest to look at him incredulously; as if he just figured out the world’s most complex math problem, and maybe he did just figure out one of your enigmas. “Let’s get you out of this dress, hmm?”

“I don’t want to have sex tonight,” you murmur. “Sorry—“

“That isn’t what I meant,” he says quietly. “Don’t apologize to me.”

“Oh?” you ask, your brow furrowing even more. “I thought—“

"No. Come on."

And it's quiet as he unzips your dress, as you slip one of his shirts over his head, as both of you brush your teeth before heading to bed. Rafael thinks you fell asleep as you're still silent for a few moments, staying stiff on your side of the bed, but you turn over and say, "Thank you, Rafi."

"For what?"

"For being so understanding. For being here, you know?" you say, pressing your lips to his. "I don't like to bring up my exes, but a lot of them just didn't get it and they just made me feel like I was never gonna be normal."

Rafael pulls you into his chest, kissing the top of your head. "You deserve so much better than that," he says, all too aware of how hollow that statement is. Of course you did. But was he really that much better? And did you love those exes? Was that all you were destined for, loving men who would never let you into their lives? You'd probably picked the most emotionally unavailable man on the block this time. But he wants to let you in, needs to, even if it terrifies him. He does care about you that much, and you had weaseled your way into most aspects of his life.

Still, though, there was a huge part of his life you hadn’t been introduced to: his Mami.

He has to let you meet her. You’ve been asking, maybe even practically begging, and he has to now. There’s a list of men and women he slept with that his mother never met, and maybe that’s a sin, maybe that’s what will send him to hell, because yes, maybe those rules about abstaining from sex before marriage are antiquated, but at least your mother should meet her, preferably before you bang her. He was too late for before, now, but you have to at some point.

The problem was that he hadn't mentioned you to his mother at all.

"Six months, Rafael Eduardo Barba, six months, you been taking this girl out on dates, you been buying her dinners, having her over your apartment, sleeping with her, and you don't have the decency to tell your mother? Ay, what is she like? Is she bonita? Is she inteligente? Oh, Rafa, is she Catholic?" His mother's phone tangent almost never ended. She wanted to know everything about you down to your social security number. Part of it was probably due to the fact that he hadn't introduced anyone to his mother in at least three years, maybe five, and she hated the last woman with a passion. God, Rafael barely remembered her name now, and he thinks Alex set him up with her.

He almost thought his mother passed out when he told her how old you were. But then, of course, she said it was a sign from God and that you were going to give her at least three grandchildren, preferably five. It was always one of Lucia Barba’s biggest regrets that she only had one child, having grown up with seven siblings, but Rafael always saw it as a blessing in disguise. His father didn’t need any more targets.

God, that phone call was hell. But he has to let you into his family life, so... it was going out to dinner with his mother on a Wednesday night.

“When am I going to meet your parents?” He asks you at dinner while you’re waiting for his mother to show up.

You smile. “We’ll see.”

“Not really fair.”

“My parents are miles away. Your mother is a cab ride away. It’s really not fair that I haven’t met her yet.”

“You use up all your vacation days to go see your brother. You could’ve taken me to meet them any of those times. You’ve gone at least three times since we’ve started dating.”

“Well. You’re always busy when I go.”

“I can ask for time off, (y/n),” he says, but that thought is left on hold as his mother walks in the restaurant, heading straight for their table. He smiles when he sees her, getting up and hugging her and kissing her cheek.

You get up too, scooting out of the booth behind Rafael. You shake her hand. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Barba. I’m (Y/n).”

“Si, it’s nice to meet you too, sweetheart. You can call me Lucia. So. How did you meet my boy?"

“Work,” you say, sliding back into the booth before Rafael. “He works with the squad I’m on.”

“Yes. Special victims unit. Tough job. You must be a tough woman,” she says, sympathetically. “Now...You’re a lot younger than my boy,” she says after a few minutes and Rafael almost slams the table and walks out. God, he loves his mother but this wasn’t what he wanted to talk about.

“What is it, 15 years, give or take?” you ask, turning to Rafael.

“Seventeen,” he murmurs, feeling sick. He’s never felt so old. There was his mother, who had him at seventeen years old. What the hell did she actually think about him being with you?

“Do your parents know how old he is?” Mami asks.

You nod, which surprises him. He didn’t know you’d had that conversation. “He hasn’t met them yet, though.”

“Ay, at least you have a good excuse. They live away. You know, I haven’t met anyone in a few years. Rafa’s been a priest. Or didn’t like them enough to bring them to me. You must be special.”

Thankfully, the waiter comes over, takes everyone’s order, and Rafael is able to rein the conversation in a little, talk about work, the weather, anything other than the topics his Mami was particularly drawn to. You ask about his abuelita, and his mother frowns.

“She doesn’t get out much these days. We’re worried about her health.”

“She should be in a nursing home,” Rafael says, pursing his lips. “She’s stubborn, though.”

“Let her have one more Thanksgiving and Christmas at home, Rafa,” Mami says. “We can talk about that next year.”

“I’d love to meet her,” you say. “Rafael talks highly of her.”

“Ay, she raised him the days I couldn’t. We both owe her so much,” she says, her eyes welling up. “When’s the next time you’re free during the day? Come with Rafa and me and being her groceries. She really never gets to meet Rafa’s girlfriends.”

“I’d love to,” you say, smiling brightly.

"You know, Rafa tells me you cook. You want some recipes?" She asks you. "I've always wanted to pass down abuelita's recipes, but Rafael can barely make rice, and he's never had a girlfriend who could cook either, far as I know."

"I'd love them, thank you! Rafael's always asking if I know how to make Cuban recipes, but I don't."

"Rafael eats too much takeout. I worry about his blood pressure," his mother says.

"That's what I tell him!" you say and Rafael rolls his eyes. Of course his mother would find something to gang up with you on against him. Traitor.

His mother gets a cab, and leaves you and Rafael alone on the street. “Do you think she likes me?”

Rafael laughs, hugging you. “Yes. She wouldn’t give recipes to just anyone, believe me. It’d be hard to dislike you, cariño.” He lets you go, taking your hand in his as you walk down the street toward your apartment a few blocks away.

“Really? Because you hated me when we first met.”

“No, I didn’t. Why are you saying that?”

“You sure didn’t seem like you liked me.”

“I did. I always did.”

“Even when I told you off?”

“Mm. What did you say to me? No woman wants anything to do with me?”

“I guess I might’ve been wrong?”

“You think? I got you to stick around.”

“Hey. It’s been six months. Don’t get cocky. Anyone can do six months.”

He doesn’t say anything, just squeezes your hand. He hadn’t put in over six months with anyone in well, about six years. So maybe not anyone could, but he'd let you in, and you were staying, weren’t you?

“I like her. I see where you got a lot of things from.”

“Really? Everyone used to say I look like my father.”

“I don’t mean you look like her, I mean you act like her.”

“Oh,” Rafael says, pondering on that for a moment. Maybe he could handle looking into his father’s face in the mirror if his mother’s values were truly behind it. “When do I meet your parents?”

“Christmas?”

“Why not Thanksgiving?”

“Too soon.”

“How is that fair? And it’s two months away.”

“Fine,” you grumble. “Thanksgiving. All they do when they’re in the same room is fight. I’m not really looking forward to you seeing that.”

Rafael laughs. “Looks like I won’t get in a word in edgewise. Perfect first impression: they won’t even notice me.”

You chuckle. “They care. They’re good parents. But they shouldn’t have had children together, that’s a certainty."

——

His mother calls him that night, a few moments after he gets back to his apartment. “Mami, what are you still doing up?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about that girl?” she asks.

“What?”

“You heard me, Rafael. Don’t play stupid with me, not anymore.”

Rafael sighs. “I just didn’t. I’ve been meaning to.”

“You’re my son. I know when you lie to me. There’s a reason you kept her from me.”

“Mami, I’m 43,” he says heavily.

“I know how old you are, I was there the day you were born. You give me a good reason now, Rafael. Because I don’t understand it. She’s smart, she’s beautiful. She has a good job. I can tell she cares about you. Why did you think I wouldn’t like her?”

Rafael laughs, smiling against his phone. “I knew you’d like her. That’s why I haven’t mentioned her.”

“Ay, Rafael, you make no sense.”

“Yes. I’m aware.”

“So explain to your poor madre!”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up,” he says softly.

“What? My hopes up for what?”

“Don’t make me say it,” he whispers.

“No. You say it, Rafael. Tell me so I don’t make any mistake.”

“I didn’t want you to get your hopes up in case I don’t end up marrying her!” The words hurt as they leave his mouth, turning around and stabbing him in the chest.

“But you did introduce me to her.”

And that’s where Rafael realizes his mistake.

“Do you want to marry this girl, Rafael?”

“I... I don’t know. You know how I feel about that—“

“Hmm. So you give me false hope anyway.”

“I care about her a lot, Mami.”

“But do you care about her enough?”

Well, that was the question, wasn’t it? He doesn’t know the answer. You two could never be perfect; could never be the ideal he had in his head because ideals weren’t real. Fairy tale romances didn't exist. So why try? Why get married, get tied down? Why not just keep a distance? You didn’t need to live with him, you didn’t need to take his last name, you didn’t need to have his children. You could just keep him company when he was lonely, and you could leave when he wasn't. And even now - you went back to sleep at your apartment because you had to wake up early the next morning to run with Amanda before work, and he had work to do tonight, and this way you didn't disturb him. It was just easier this way.

Right?

Maybe you didn’t want to get married at all, much less to an old man like him. You were still young, and you had years to settle down and figure things out.

Why was he hesitating? Men like him didn’t get women like you every day, and maybe that’s why men buy rings and ask for signatures on binding documents, he realizes with disgust. It’s why his father did it - his father was a decade older than his mother and he knocked her up and trapped her to a lifetime of suffering before she was legally able to vote or drink. Rafael didn’t want to be like that- you should feel free to leave him without worrying about divorce papers or the wrath of God.

Okay then.

If he could only have the good parts, it'd be fine. Waking up with you in the morning, your homecooked dinners that pull him away from his work just when he's getting fed up, the teasing that drives him up the wall but eases the tension in his shoulders... it's just, when you get upset and cry too much, when he's genuinely trying to work and you want to make out... and, oh, god, when you see him, when you just look at him and act like you know everything he's been through for the past four decades... It's too much. He doesn't want all of that.

Right?

Okay then.

Taglist: @caked-crusader​ @thatesqcrush​ @arabellathorne​ @law-nerd105​

Want to be added to the tags? Let me know!

NEXT CHAPTER

[saturn-in-autumn]

BRO your art and writing are both so good ajsbsjjs can I request a danny reveal to valerie? I would assume this would be a small drabble prompt but I'll let you choose how to do it and if you even want to do it in the first place whoops

ASDFGJHJK Thank you so much! 

Omg, first off I am SO SO Sorry this took me so long to get back to you! It’s actually so bad... But I finally finished your request!! It took me a while to figure out how to phrase everything and get my head around it but I ended up getting a little carried away in the end, I’m sorry... 

So here it is I suppose! I’ve also posted it to Ao3 here if you’d like to have a look, but it’s also under the cut if you want to read it on here! 

Thank you so much for your patience, I only hope it was kind of worth it? Idk. I ended up writing a short story/one shot rather than a drabble haha, I just didn’t expect it to get so long!  And thanks for the request idea! 

- Fire and Water -

Valerie sometimes thought Danny was like water.

He was so perfectly clear somehow, an undisturbed lake shining in the moonlight. His iridescent blue eyes sometimes felt like they could see right through her, somehow sense exactly how she was feeling, understand her deepest secrets.

That eerie calmness rippled and cascaded through him, so clear and tranquil, yet so incredibly dangerous.

He had a depth that terrified her to no end, a feeling that if she dove down too deep he would overflow, drown her with his power. As if his little lake held all the fierce might of the sea.

(In which Danny has a secret to tell Valerie, but doesn't quite know how to go about it)

“Ugh, what am I supposed to do Tuck?” Danny groaned, resting his head on his elbows in the grimy corner booth.

Tucker shrugged, patting his back awkwardly in what he hoped was a comforting manner. “I don’t know man, I don’t have a murderous ghost-hunter for a girlfriend.”

Danny sighed, looking forlornly across the crowded restaurant of the Nasty Burger. Valerie was still standing by the till, laughing with some customer as she took their order. She was gorgeous even in the grease-stained yellow of the fast food uniform. Silently Danny watched as she tucked a stray strand of dark hair out of her eyes and looked away. He was such a loser.

“Hey… but then again, it’s not really our decision to make.” Sam’s voice cut through Danny’s musings and he looked up at her dolefully. “Whether or not you want to share it with her is up to you.” She took another slurp of her slushie and frowned. “I thought you had sworn not to. Why the sudden change?”

Danny looked away, straightening to peer out the window at the passers-by on the street. “I don’t know… I just feel… like it’s wrong to keep lying to her is all…” Danny could feel Sam and Tucker’s eyes on him as he sighed again, “Look, we’ve been going out for almost a year… That’s, like more than I’ve ever been in a relationship my whole life! Plus, even if she doesn’t know it, I know her secret, but she doesn’t know mine, I can’t help feeling like I’m cheating on her or something weird like that…”

“Danny…” Sam started but he continued.

“But at the same time, I’m terrified that if she finds out she’ll hate me y’know? Like… I don’t want to lose her in the process…”

“Look Danny, as the current female representative at the table.” Sam said, placing her drink firmly on the table to look at him in the eyes, “I can safely say that telling the truth is probably your best option. If she finds out and it’s not from you, it’ll probably hurt her a lot more than just coming clean.”  

Tucker nodded, “You know, Sam’s right, if you really care about her what’s the worst that could happen?”

“The worst is that she’ll shoot an ecto-blast through my chest faster than I can say ‘Sorry’.” Danny moaned. “Or she’ll tell my parents or something… Then I’d really be dead meat.”

“And the best-case scenario is that she doesn’t mind.” Sam said with an eyebrow raised. “I’m sorry Danny, but if you guys really care about each other then keeping secrets probably shouldn’t be on the table. Valerie has a right to know if you’re hiding things from her, chances are she’ll figure it out sooner or later. Her aim’s getting better by the day.”

Danny winced, rubbing his upper forearm where the burn mark still stung.

Sam’s eyes softened and she reached over, taking his hand gently, “Danny I honestly think that anyone who knows you, the real you, won’t hate you no matter what you are. The real test is whether or not you think you can trust her enough to tell her and get away with it. She’s still the Red Huntress after all. I wouldn’t take this decision lightly.”

Danny nodded but smiled. “Would you guys mind though?”

Tucker blinked, “Dude, we’re your friends. If you want to date the most dangerous ghost-hunter in Amity Park we have your back. As Sam said, it’s you’re secret to share with whoever you want.”

Danny closed his eyes and stared at the ceiling, “Thanks guys…” he mumbled, glancing over to where Valerie was once again. It looks like she was packing up. “I think I’ll try and tell her tonight…”

At that Tucker’s eyes widened, “Wait, really? Like you don’t want to think about this a little more before you run in guns blazing?”

Danny blinked at him, “Well, I know it’s a little brash sure, but the sooner I do it the sooner I can sleep easy right? Whether she hates me or not I’ll at least know.”

Sam sat back, “You heard the man Tuck, if he’s stubborn enough he’ll do it.”

“Hey!” Danny said, sounding offended, “Okay maybe I’m not 100% on it, but I’ll feel better if I’m not lying to her. Besides…” He smiled slightly, “We’d kinda already had a date planned for tonight. I might as well make use of it…”

As if on cue Valerie walked over, she’d thrown a dark green jacket over the orange of her uniform that perfectly complimented her eyes. “Hey!” she said, arm raised and smiling, “You ready to go?”

“You bet!” Danny laughed, sliding past Tucker and leaving his money on the tray, “I’ll… talk to you guys later then?” He offered and Sam winked.

“Go get em’ tiger.”

Danny grinned, giving Valerie a quick peck on the cheek and the thumbs up to Tucker before the two of them walked out of the restaurant.

***

When they were gone Sam’s lips quirked into a smile, “He’s gonna die.” She chuckled, taking another slurp of her drink as she sat back in the booth.

“Wait what?” Tucker asked swinging his saucepan-sized eyes to her in disbelief, “What was all that about ‘accepting who you are’ then?”

Sam eyed him across the table, “You kidding? Valerie’s gonna stomp his heart into pieces with five-inch high stilettos, but even then, I doubt she’ll hate him for it.”

Tucker sighed and took another bite of his burger, “I don’t know. It’s just odd he has this sudden conviction to tell her everything. It’s a pretty big deal is all.”

Sam shrugged, “Yeah, but then again I guess it’s just a sign of how much she means to him. After all, he told us pretty soon after it y’know… happened…”

“Yeah but that’s different, we’re his best friends and you’re one of the main reasons he got his ghost powers in the first place. Plus, Valerie hated his guts on principle back then because she was still with the A-Listers… now she just hates him for different reasons…”

She scowled at him, but nodded, “Well then fine. Maybe he just wants to take their relationship up a notch. I don’t know why you’re having such a hard time with this Tucker, if Danny wants to go blabbering about his powers to people, he has his reasons for it. Despite appearances he’s not that much of an idiot to get caught by his parents or the GIW.”

“I know it’s just…”

“Ohhh,” Sam grinned, cutting Tucker off with a shit-eating grin. “Oh, I see, you’re jealous.”

“What!” Tucker shrieked, “Am not!”

“You’re jealous that Danny is opting to bring someone else in on the team, this was the same thing with Jazz! You’re too proud to admit that you like being a sidekick.”

“What!? Never. I’m Danny’s guy-in-the-chair! His wingman! His Q to his 007! It’s not like Valerie could—”

“Oh yeah totally, the Red Huntress with an arsenal of weapons and ghost-hunting experience would never take Tucker Foley’s precious slot as the guy-in-the-chair.”

“Fuck’s sake Sam.” Tucker spat, “I’m not jealous, and fine then, I don’t care who the hell Danny goes and talks to. Are you happy?”

“Ecstatically.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself coward.”

“I hate you so much…”

“I know. So… you down for Doomed later?”

He shrugged, standing up and throwing a few notes on the table, “Sure. I’ll catch you around 9.”

***

Danny hadn’t planned for this at all.

He mentally slapped himself as he and Valerie walked to the movie theatre, absentmindedly chatting as best he could about her day. The street was almost deserted at this time in the afternoon, couples walking to and from places, laughing as they held hands. Danny smiled. They were all so… alive.

Valerie said something and Danny watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her breath clouding in front of her face before hugging her jacket closer to her body and cupping frozen hands around a fresh cup of coffee to keep warm.

Amity Park in autumn was both beautiful and freezing with the golden brown and red of leaves staining the paths and parks like wounded soldiers on the fields of battle.

He would have shivered if he could.

As it was Danny looked away, the cold didn’t really seem to affect him in the same way anymore. A pang of guilt struck his chest as Valerie laughed at something, she sounded so happy. If only she knew who she was walking with…

After the movie, he vowed, after the movie I’ll tell her. She deserves to know.

“Hey! Are you even paying attention?” She asked and he blinked, startled out of his musings.

“Uh yeah, sure… what did you say again?”

She sighed throwing her hands up in exasperation, “Honestly, you can be so… distant sometimes. What the heck goes through your head anyways? Stuck in the stars again NASA boy?”

Danny laughed, “I guess you could say that…” Was he really that obvious?

“Well, I asked, what do you want to see?”

“Oh right!” Gazing up at the selection he paused, “I…” he bit his lip, his mind going blank, it didn’t feel right to choose… “I don’t mind, how about you pick?”

She looked at him sideways, “Man you’re acting jumpy today.” A gleam caught in her eye and Danny gulped, “How about a horror?”

“Uh well… if that’s…” Danny stumbled over his words.

“Great! Glad that’s decided. I want to get really scared tonight, two tickets to your most horrifying film my good sir!” She chimed to the guy behind the counter.

The guy looked them up and down but shrugged, “Cinema 5, have fun.”

***

Danny wasn’t really paying attention through the film.

Guilt was eating away at him, gnawing at the edges of his subconscious as Valerie laughed and jumped at the loud noises and crappy special effects that Hollywood perceived ghosts to be. Danny smiled absently, they really had no clue how wrong they were compared to the real thing.

She held his hand in the gentle darkness of the cinema, and Danny couldn’t help but look at her in the faint light from the screen. Her green eyes glistened with excitement and curiosity, taking in all she saw with such conviction.

He smiled, she was light, warm and comforting. Even as she gripped his ice-cold skin Danny couldn’t help but admire her. She laughed when she felt like it, got angry when she felt like it, smiled and danced in her own brilliant warmth. Danny’s eyes softened as he leaned into her touch, savouring this moment. Feeling her heartbeat through her skin.

She was dazzling.

Danny pulled away slightly, his eyes narrowing, but she was like fire to his ice. She melted him in ways she could never understand, but he was sure, he was frighteningly sure he was going to burn her irreversibly in the end.

But if that’s the way it had to be, then so be it.

“Hey Val?” He mumbled, leaning further into her shoulder in the gloom of the theatre, feeling her warmth against his cheek. She stopped gazing at the screen and turned to him, her eyes still dancing in that dull luminosity. Danny sighed, letting his dark hair fall into his eyes so she couldn’t see that he was on the verge of tears. “I’ve been… keeping something from you. For a long time now… I just… don’t know how to say it…”

He felt her shift under his weight, and he pulled away, looking in the opposite direction. She was looking at him, he could feel her green eyes taking him in and he felt his heart panged with annoyance. Annoyance at himself, at how weak he was.

“Danny…” Valerie started, and he looked at her, she was smiling softly in the light, “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me anythi—”

“No, you deserve to know. But… maybe in a bit if that’s alright?” He grit his teeth and looked back up at the screen as the final scene began, he smiled sadly locking eyes with her. “I just… want this moment to last a little longer is all…”

***

Valerie sometimes thought Danny was like water.

He was so perfectly clear somehow, like an undisturbed lake shining in the moonlight. His iridescent blue eyes sometimes felt like they could see right through her, somehow sense exactly how she was feeling, understand her deepest secrets.

It was awe inspiring. Like Danny knew exactly where she went when she snuck out of class, knew her connection to ghosts and the other shadows of Amity Park. Knew who she really was.

But he never seemed to care. It was why, she supposed, she was so drawn to him in the first place. The eerie calmness that rippled and cascaded through him, so clear and tranquil, yet dangerously so. Pooling with something else.

A darkness. A depth that terrified her to no end, a feeling that if she dove too deep he would overflow, drown her with his power. As if his little lake held all the fierce might of the sea.

Why did that feeling surface now? That dread that crashed against the shoreline of her heart. Breaking the tension as Danny lead her out of the theatre and into the cool night air. What was this in her chest that felt like the pressure of being unable to breathe?

He laughed at something and Valerie felt a shift in the atmosphere as she looked at him in the light of the street, his blue eyes reflecting something she couldn’t see. Something beyond where they stood outside a bustling theatre.

“I want to show you something,” Danny said, there was a kind of relief to his words, like he’d been daring himself to say them. “But not here.”

He glanced at her and she felt that terrible drowning sense in her chest again as his clear-blue eyes softened in the moonlight. He looked… so sad, like this was somehow the last time she’d ever see him.

Danny stayed silent as they walked, weaving in and around the humdrum of pedestrians and life that flittered around them like moths to a flame.

She let him pull her along, feeling the familiar chill that buzzed between her fingertips of his skin brushing hers. He was so cold, so frozen in time. It gripped at her.

It was only now that she started to watch him in comparison to the people on the street. In his dark, navy jacket and worn jeans he stood out and blended in at the same time. Like he wasn’t meant to be there and was there all at once. It seemed unnatural somehow…

She shook her head, following him across the street to the park, letting the dull glow of the stars guide them along the cracked paths.

What was it he wanted to show her? And why did it feel like an ending and a beginning all at once? Her curiosity ate at her but if Danny was willing to show her, she would be patient.

The park seemed twisted at night time. The trees warped somehow in the dark, green grass glowing blue in the silver light of the moon.

Danny looked around and hurried on, pulling her up the hill to where a small crop of trees nestled between the undergrowth. There was no one around for miles but Danny seemed extra cautious, double and triple checking their surroundings to make sure they weren’t being followed.

“Danny, you’re scaring me you know that.” Valerie finally said, breaking the silence that had hung over them for so long.

He chuckled softly and came to sit next to her, looking out at the twinkling lights of the city spread out below them like a map. A perfect mirror for the stars above.

The throb of life buzzed about them, the shrieking of tyres, the chink of glasses and the laughter of people. The metropolis was a beating heart but here in this secluded tower, they watched it all in silence.

“I’m so sorry Val…” Danny finally said, and she looked at him as he laid back, staring upwards towards the sky. “I feel like I’ve been lying to you, from the very beginning.”

She wanted to interrupt, wanted to tell him what a mysterious jerk he was being and just to cut to the chase, but she said nothing, too entranced by the wandering lights that reflected in his irises.

“The truth is, that I…” Danny’s expression changed slightly, and his teeth gritted together. Whatever it was that he was trying to say to her, Valerie knew that it was probably something major.

“Danny… you don’t—”

“No, I do.” He said, pulling an arm across his eyes so that she couldn’t see him. “I have to tell you; cause otherwise you’re just going to find out from someone else and then I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

He sat up and turned to her, his dark hair framing his face as he gripped her shoulders. Her heart fluttered slightly in her chest; he was crying.

She watched as that perfectly clear water fell from his eyes, carving rivers in his pale skin. She felt something press against her lungs, that fear of drowning, and she opened her mouth to speak.

“I—”

“I love you…” Danny said, cutting her off, his head bowing as she blinked at his words, numbly they settled on her like falling snow as she felt her heart lighten. “I love you so much… That’s why it’s not fair to keep hiding myself, the real me, from you any longer.”

“Danny I—”

“No, Val, please, let me finish.” Danny looked at her and she felt a pang of guilt cross her chest. He smiled, such a sad smile, as he continued. “Val, I love you. I didn’t think I would fall for someone so hard as I do for you… you’re incredible you know that? You’re so strong and dazzling to look at it hurts my eyes.”

She felt her eyes widen but he continued, “Ever since I met you, you’ve shown me time and time again how great you really are. And quite frankly, I don’t think I deserve you. But I wanted to tell you that I love you. Let you know how much you truly mean to me so that you don’t lose sight of who I am.”

Danny looked at her, “I’m an idiot you know that? I’m such a complete and utter loser that I take so much of what I have for granted. Sam and Tucker have always told me so and that’s why I want to stop hiding from you Valerie. Because I care too much for you to continue acting, continue pretending that I’m alright.”

Danny began to shake as he spoke and she shifted closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in close to her as a smile lifted her face. “Hey. Look at me,” he lifted his eyes to hers and Valerie smiled, “You know, if you’re scared to tell me you don’t have to Danny. Cause…” She felt light, “Because I love you too.”

He blinked at her and smiled, “I was afraid of that…”

She laughed, “Oh yeah and why’s that wisecrack?”

He smiled but didn’t laugh. “Because of who… no that’s not right… because of what I am Val.”

She stopped laughing, he was dead serious, she gripped her chest, that tightness was suffocating now. The fun-loving idiot she had fallen for seemed to melt off him as his eyes narrowed, turning to her fully to look at her dead in the eyes. “Val, I don’t want you to think any less of me, I really and truly want us to continue being close, I want to hold your hand and laugh, go see movies and continue living like this with you for the rest of my life…”

Wait. What was he saying? What did he mean by…

“But, Valerie Grey. I can’t keep hiding forever. I brought you here tonight to tell you something about myself that I can’t share lightly with anyone. But you have to promise to trust me, promise me Val. Please promise me that you won’t think any less of me for it and that you won’t tell anyone else... please this is important.”

She felt the pressure in her lungs choking her now, but she nodded, why was she so scared? So utterly terrified that she might lose him? “I promise. I promise, whatever you want to tell me it’s okay Danny. It’s okay, you can tell me…”

Danny smiled and nodded, his shoulder’s sagging as he did so as if all the tension released from him in one motion. Like he had been waiting his whole life to hear those words. “Val… I…maybe it’s easier if I show you instead?”

She blinked but nodded, allowing him to let go of her as she sat back.

Danny looked at her, she was so perfect, sitting there patiently waiting for him to show her what he meant. He closed his eyes and looked to the stars, here goes nothing…

“Val, I’m so sorry…” he whispered, and triggered his transformation.

Valerie watched in mild horror as the light sparked around his mid-section, twin-rings expanding at his waist.

Wait what?

They broke and spilt, traveling over his body slowly as he stood there, changing him.

What’s happening?

Danny sighed at the feeling of relief, the cool sensation of weightlessness taking hold as the rings reached the base of his neck with a rush of adrenaline.

Valerie felt her hands fly to mouth to cover the shriek of shock as Phantom touched down lightly in front of her. His skin glowing in the eclipse of the moon, the black jumpsuit replacing the familiar jeans and jacket Valerie knew so well…

She stumbled, her mind racing a marathon as her heart banged so hard against her chest, she swore it was audible. No. No this couldn’t be right… Danny was… Danny was?

He looked at her with that same sad smile and she allowed herself to gasp. The clear blue of his eyes now glimmering green like emeralds against the sky.

He sunk to his knees and looked away; he’d ruined it hadn’t he? The curling white of his hair intermingling with the evening breeze. Looking down almost resentfully at the snow-white gloves that adorned his hands. “I’m so sorry…” His voice echoed across the space between them and Valerie inadvertently shivered. “I’m so sorry Val…”

Valerie just sat there, staring blankly at the scene in front of her as Phantom… no Danny, hung his head in his hands. She reached out, but paused, no this couldn’t be right… This was all a big misunderstanding, right? A joke?

She pulled her hand back, cupping it against her chest. But it felt so real, so obvious that she mentally cursed herself for being so stupid.

Danny Fenton, Danny Phantom, he’d barely even changed his name. She blinked, observing the shape of his face, the style of his hair, it was all the same, all exactly the same… But even then… Danny couldn’t be a ghost! Surely not… surely… and of all ghosts Phantom? The town hero? Her ultimate enemy? It couldn’t possibly be real; this couldn’t possibly be happening right now…

“You’re probably wondering what happened right?” Valerie snapped her attention towards him as he laughed dryly, the sound was grating, so completely alien to her, “That’s usually the first question I get asked…”

She nodded, she felt so numb.

“It was the Fenton Portal.” He smiled, the white of his hair playing on the breeze like snow, “Mum and Dad couldn’t get it working so I thought it was safe enough to look inside… I… it turned on while I was in there…”

Valerie shuddered, phantom screams of Danny being electrocuted rattling her skull as if she’d been there herself. That was how he’d died? Screaming and alone?

“I’m so sorry Val…” He said again, looking at her, she jolted at the green of his eyes, but he continued, “I’m so sorry you had to find out, but I couldn’t lie to you forever. I just couldn’t keep pretending it was all fine considering our… history…”

A sharp pain rippled through her heart as she realised that he did know. Of course he did. Phantom had known she was the Red Huntress from the beginning, and yet even after every fight they’d had, every insult and curse she’d flung his way… Danny still continued loving her, being around her even then. Even then…

She felt cheated slightly, like he’d known her deepest secret for so long that it wasn’t fair she didn’t know his in return. But she stopped, hadn’t that been the point though? What would she have done if she’d known earlier? What good would it have done to know?

She reached for him cautiously and he flinched as she touched his shoulder. He was so cold, so incredibly cold but she gripped him, feeling the static of ectoplasm under her fingertips as she turned him to her.

His eyes were wide, but she smiled slightly, pulling him down into her, drawing him into a hug.

He was like ice against her, buzzing with electricity and energy that was the only way he could survive. “You’re so stupid you know that?” She felt him twitch slightly against her but she smiled, “I can’t imagine what it was like… what you must go through every day Danny… knowing that there is this side to you that you can’t share with anyone…”

“You’re not scared? Or angry? You don’t hate me, do you?” He sounded so timid, like a frightened child.

She thought about it, sure, she was certainly angry. But not as much as she’d expected, she laughed slightly, she hadn’t planned on this when she finally had Phantom in her grasp.

“Danny… I… don’t think I do… You never told me the truth because I never gave you a reason for it. I was so completely bent on destroying you that I don’t know… I lost sight on what I was fighting… but I’m glad you waited until now to tell me…”

He pulled back from her slightly so she could see his face, “You mean that?”

She nodded, “If I had found out earlier, I might have blasted you to bits. But as it stands… I’m…” she grinned, “I’m really glad I got to know you, Danny Fenton.”

He blinked at her reaction, pulling back further so that they were at eye level. “I…” he started but she pushed a finger to his lips.

“Let me finish loverboy. I believed ghosts were… well monsters. Bent on destroying this world and everyone in it, senseless and unstoppable monsters and nothing more… I never let my guard down, never let anyone see me weak. Until you Danny. I let you in and now, you’ve let me in. And that means so much more than I think you realise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty shocked, and it’s gonna take me a week to digest all of this… but I love you Danny. You, no matter what you are.”

His eyes widened and he laughed, the familiar sound tinkling against her making her smile.

Valerie didn’t exactly know how she found himself in the position she was in next, but all she felt was the soft press of lips against hers and she wrapped her arms tightly around Danny, feeling light as air. She slipped her hands from his waist to over his shoulders, pushing in for the kiss. Danny felt like his world had exploded into stars, she tasted like strawberries and sunlight mixed together in utter happiness. And Valerie smiled against him, he tasted like static but she didn’t care. Danny could’ve stayed like that forever, and he probably would’ve if Valerie didn’t slip her hands off of him and gently push away.

She smiled, the heavy fear had lifted from her chest and she sighed as it dispersed. The clear water moving in it’s wake.

“So what do we do now?” She asked and Danny blinked, smiling softly as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

He looked to the stars, feeling lighter than ever, “I don’t know.”

“Well, Phantom, how about a truce to begin with.” She winked and Danny laughed, getting to his feet he took her hand and pulled her up with him.

“My my, the Red Huntress herself is offering a ceasefire? I never thought I’d see the day!”

“Oh hush, I can still shoot you.”

He gulped but nodded, a bright smile lighting up his face as he began to float slightly off the ground.

“Not for nothing,” she murmured, eying the space between his feet and the ground warily, “But how about you… uh… what’s the word you use? Switch back? Cause if you walk me home in that state, I think my dad’s gonna have to bring out a little heavier an artillery than a shotgun.”

Danny nodded, touching down without a word, feeling the rings of light split around his waist again as the world held weight once more.

Valerie gasped as Phantom fell away but regained her composure, “Somehow I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that…” she muttered, and he laughed, his blue eyes sparkling.

“Val… I’m… I’m really happy with how tonight went…” Danny grinned as they walked back towards the path, “But you’re sure that you’re okay with this whole… me being Phantom thing?”

She hummed in thought but nodded, “Yeah, but you’re going to have to answer a bunch of questions I have about yourself and the other ghosts. Plus,” she winked at him, “I still expect to be able to fight. Treat me as an equal ghost boy, I refuse to be your sidekick.”

Danny laughed but waved a hand, “Oh don’t worry, I think Tucker wouldn’t talk to me again if I let you have that role.”

“Then that’s settled then… shall we—”

Danny’s breath misted in front of his face and Valerie stiffened as a wave of static swept the park. “Oh no,” she mumbled, a sensor beeping quietly on her watch as she reached for her backpack, flicking the switch on the underside.

He speeder hit the ground and Valerie’s eyes narrowed as she pulled down her hood, snapping the butt of her ecto-gun against her palm as she whirled to Danny.

He was already in fighting mode, the human boy she’d fallen for melting away as the half-ghost hero Phantom stood by her side. Just as a massive, bloated figure rounded the corner ahead of them.

She looked at him a smile playing on her lips, “You ready ghost boy?”

He grinned, “You bet, partner.”

[wateryourplance]

Perfect (Part 2/2) (Lance/Pidge)

(Pidgance Moth, Day 18: hopeless romantic | Yep, I headcanon Lance’s mum to be named Elena. Idk the name just sounds so motherly, even though my grandmother under the same name wasn’t haha MERRY CHRISTMASSS)

Lance laughed heartily as he watched Shiro and Matt exchange lighthearted insults at each other. Everyone was having a splendid time, laughing and joking about.

Lance couldn’t help but notice that Pidge was the only one who seemed to be silent.

Initially, he chose to ignore it. Maybe she didn’t find the jokes funny or just wasn’t interested in the topic.

That is, until he noticed her frown deepen.

He felt a twinge in his heart, compelling him to finally speak up. He cleared his throat. “Pidge?”

Pidge jumped slightly as she turned to Lance, waiting for him to speak.

“You okay?” He asked in a quiet tone in hopes not to draw attention to their seemingly private chat. He was genuinely worried about her and her well-being, and he simply hated seeing her in such an unhappy mood.

Pidge hesitated for a moment before answering. “Yeah.”

Lance did not like the tone of her voice. Flat and obviously lying.

Why has she been acting so cold and distant?

And only to him?

“Pidge, I want the truth.” His tone was firm, but not unkind. His voice was filled with. “You’ve been acting really weird, and I have the feeling it concerns me.”

Pidge was silent.

And that was Lance’s unspoken answer.

It did in fact involve him.

But he didn’t really know how.

Sighing, Lane combed through his hair. He was so confused and was just so desperate to know what the hell was up with his friend. “You know what?” He began. “It’s bothering me. A lot. So can we just sort this out or something? Maybe we can talk about it sometime?”

Lance didn’t know what she said, but she just curtly got out of her seat, stopping whatever topic everyone else was talking about. All eyes were on her.

“I’m...gonna go. I’m sleepy.” Pidge declared, looking at everyone but Lance.

Shiro merely nodded and smiled gently at her. “Sure, Pidge. Good night.”

Pidge headed out, muttering a silent ‘night’.

“She doesn’t usually sleep this early.” Allura noted. “Strange.”

“She is pretty strange.” Lance agreed, saying that more to himself.

Lance woke up in panic, his heart beating erratically as he felt his face.

Oh no.

He didn’t put on a face mask.

He frantically rummaged through his things, searching for his face masks. To his relief, he found the packaging.

To his horror, he was all out.

Lance felt like the world was about to end. He felt like his whole life was crashing into flames. He couldn’t believe it. Tears pricked his eyes as he sat down on his bed, crestfallen.

Lance forced a smile, trying to stay positive. “Maybe I can just sleep without ‘em.” He encouraged himself. “It’s just one night.” He placed Pidge’s earphones over his head as he collapsed onto his bed once again, wrapping himself in his sheets. He wriggled around a little bit until he found the perfect position.

For a moment, it was bliss. All was calm. He was almost entering the gates of Dream Land.

Then all these crazy thoughts filled his head.

What if pimples and blackheads grew overnight?

Or, or what if when he wakes up, his face would be old and wrinkly?!

Lance’s eyes snapped open as he fell off the bed with a squeal. He couldn’t just sleep and let those horrible things happen to his skin! 

That’s it; no sleep tonight for Lance McClain. He had to keep an eye out for his skin.

But he knew very well that staying in his room would lull him to sleep, and that was the last thing he wanted.

His eyes widened as he got an idea.

He could spend the night in the Bridge!

Lance sat on the cold floor wrapped in his blanket, gazing in awe at the beautiful expanse in front of him as the Castleship travelled at a steady pace. He let out a satisfied sigh as he pulled the blanket tighter around him. The music from Pidge’s headphones were at a moderate volume, giving him just the perfect amount of noise to drown in his own thoughts.

Lance thought about his mother and all the stories she told him when she was a kid. 

"Mijo, what’s going on? What happened?” Elena asked as she rubbed her eight-year-old son’s back comfortingly. She noticed her son’s left hand in a tight fist. She pulled away and gently took her son’s hand. “What’s this?”

Lance sniffed and choked up a sob as he opened his fist.

A blue crushed flower lay in his palm.

Elena frowned as she took the delicate plant. “What happened?”

“The...the girl I liked...” Lance whimpered, “she said she didn’t like me.”

Elena gasped softly as she sat on the sofa, lifting her little boy up so he could sit on her lap. She ran her hand through his his hair in a soothing motion while her other one wiped away his tears. “I’m sorry to hear that...” she said gently.

“Why did she do that? She was the second one this week! I’m so nice...and...and you say I’m cute!” Lance wailed as he wrapped his short arms around his mother. “Do you just say those things to make me feel good?”

“Oh, Lance...” Elena whispered, kissing the crown of her son’s head. “I’d never lie to you, mi querido.”

“Then why don’t they like me? They keep saying no to me. All my crushes hate me! I’m so weird...I keep liking people.” He rambled miserably, gazing up at his mother with big, round teary blue eyes.

Elena kissed Lance again on his forehead, wiping the tears that were already lessening. “They don’t hate you, mijo. And you’re not weird at all.” She muttered into his forehead before pulling back, smiling fondly. “You wanna hear something?”

He nodded.

“I was like you too.” She released gently, cradling her little boy. “I had a lot of crushes.”

“Really?” Lance gasped.

“Yes.” She laughed. “You got that from me.”

Lance straightened himself up in interest, listening closely. “I did?”

“Mhm.”

“But dad...”

Elena chuckled. “Do you wanna hear a story?”

“When I was seventeen, I met your father.”

“That’s so old!” Lance interjected, his jaw dropped. “I want to find my true love now!”

Elena grinned at him, ruffling his hair. “You’re very young, Lance. And seventeen’s young too.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “It’s only young because you’re old. But I love you anyways. A-and you’re still beautiful even though you’re old!”

“I love you more, Lancey. Thank you, but that doesn’t make it any better.” Elena returned jokingly.

“Anyway, please continue the story!” Lance begged, snuggling closer to his mother. “You fell in love with dad when you first saw him right?”

Elena smiled sheepishly. “No, actually.”

Lance’s eyes were wide with horror. "You didn’t?”

“I was too focused on another boy, but your dad and I were best friends right away.” She told him, caressing his cheek. “I never saw him as a crush. He was just my best friend.”

Lance was too shocked to speak, only nodding for her to continue.

“We went to college and I had a lot of boyfriends.”

“Did dad have lots of girlfriends too?” He asked.

Elena shook her head. “No. He liked this one girl a lot, but she didn’t have a crush on him.” She explained.

“And then what?”

“When your father and I graduated college and started working--”

“So old!”

“--he was still always there for me.” Elena said tenderly. “When boys would leave me, he’d always be by my side and take care of me. And whenever he’d talk about the girl he liked, I’d listen and comfort him.”

Lance smiled upon hearing that his father and mother had always been taking care of each other. However, his little mind was still confused. If his parents liked different people, why were they together?

Elena must’ve noticed the confused expression on his face when she giggled. “One day I realised...that I was dumb.”

“No you’re not!” Lance defended. “You’re super smart!”

“Yes, but I was dumb for not realising sooner that your father was the one I needed.” Elena finished, her eyes bright. “I realised that I loved him.”

Lance gasped in awe. “But he liked a girl...”

“He did, didn’t he?” Elena hummed. “One day he decided to tell her he fell in love with her.”

Lance scrunched his nose. “This doesn’t sound very nice. What...what did she say?”

Elena beamed proudly at him. “I said ‘I love you, too’.”

Lance gaped at her. “You were the girl?!” He yelled, surprised.

“I was always looking forward for the things I wanted, when what I needed was right in front of me.” Elena looked into her son’s eyes lovingly. “I thought the things I wanted would make me happy, but now...I’m satisfied.”

“That was really...” Lance struggled in finding words. “I feel better!”

Elena laughed. “I hope you get what I was trying to say, mijo. Now go do your homework!” She said firmly as he slipped off of her lap.

“Wait! One question!” Lance added. “Did you find daddy handsome?”

Elena grinned widely. “Mhm.”

Elena’s grin only grew wider when her husband entered the living room, probably checking on them. “I still think he’s very handsome.”

That was Lance’s motivation.

Their story was his motivation.

He learned that finding ‘the one’ would take time, and rejection’s just part of it all.

Little did he know, that wasn’t the only thing she was trying to teach him.

Lance chuckled warmly at the memory. He missed them so much.

He never stopped trying to find ‘the one’ with their love story stuck on his mind. If only someone knew how much he thought he related to his father.

Maybe...maybe his mum would be like Allura.

Maybe his love story would be just like his parents’.

In deep thought, he didn’t notice the presence of someone...

“You come up here to rock out?”

Lance yelped, jumping in shock as he turned to the voice’s owner.

Pidge was smiling playfully, an eyebrow raised at him expectantly.

Lance needed a moment to fully process what she was trying to imply before smirking. “Oh, Pidge,” his smirk turned into a Cheshire Cat-like grin. “No, um, just...looking at the stars.” 

They laughed, recounting that memory. “Can’t believe you still remember that.” Pidge remarked as she calmed her laughter down, sitting next to him.

“I could say the same thing about you.” Lance teased. He extended his arm. “It’s kinda cold. Wanna snuggle or something?”

Pidge visibly blushed, but Lance guessed it was because it’d be awkward for two good friends to do such a couple thing. “I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself.” Lance shrugged, letting her headphones rest around his neck. “Why’re you suddenly in a good mood?”

Pidge looked up at him, ready to speak.

“Ah, don’t tell me.” He interrupted. “Pidge the nightowl, of course, of course.”

“Actually, no.” She immediately said. “Well, yeah, that too.”

Lance shrugged. “Close enough.”

Silence entered the room, making the huge space seem so small.

Lance desperately wanted to ask about her attitude towards him, but he knew he’d kill her positive mood. He opted for silence instead.

“So,” she began, “why’re you up?”

“Ran out of face masks.” He answered, relieved to finally speak. “Am I crazy for trying to watch out for any things to pop out on my face?”

“No, it happens.” Pidge shrugged, hugging her knees to her chest.

“Why’re you up?”

“Thoughts keeping me awake.”

Lance tilted his head. “About what?”

“Stuff.”

“Very specific, Pidge.”

Pidge chuckled. “You seemed to be in deep thought too.”

“Thinking about my family.” Lance answered. “My parents to be exact. Their love story, to be more exact.”

Pidge nodded in understanding. “What was it?”

“My mom had a lot of boyfriends before settling with my dad.” He explained, his heart warming. “And my dad pined for my mum for a pretty long time before...”

He paused to look at his friend, who gazed back at him patiently.

Suddenly his heart fluttered.

And he didn’t know why. 

“Before...?” Pidge pressed, causing him to realise that he stared at her longer than he intended.

“Before realising she loved him.” Lance finished, his voice small. 

Pidge smiled. “That’s really sweet. It sounds...familiar, and yet so unfamiliar.” She pondered. “When I was younger my dad got me a--” she stopped abruptly, and Lance was quick to notice her shiver slightly.

He quickly wrapped his arms around her, the blanket fortunately big enough for both of them. “Don’t even try fighting it, you’re obviously cold.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Pidge joked, actually snuggling closer to him. “I guess they turn off the heating when Coran and Allura aren’t here.”

“To conserve her magic?”

Pidge snorted. “Anyways, my dad got me this really old computer.” She resumed slowly, trying to remember everything. “It was cool but...I really wanted the newest model that had better, well, everything. So I saved up for the new one and when I got it, it didn’t even last for three months. Apparently it couldn’t carry my documents.” She rolled her eyes.

Lance laughed lightly as he shook his head. “So you tried the old one.”

“And it was perfect.” Pidge swooned. “It worked perfectly and actually worked really well. Best part was it was easier to add upgrades. If I’m not mistaken, it still works well.”

“That kinda is like my parents’ love story. Kinda. Pidge version.” Lance humoured. 

“Guess the moral is...we keep looking forward when what we actually need is right in front of us.” Pidge trailed off awkwardly, her voice almost like a whisper.

“That’s kinda what my mum said once...”

And then it hit Lance.

What he needed was literally right in front of him.

And she was just perfect.

[randomfandomimagine]

Smile (Dan & Phil x Reader)

Characters: Dan Howell (danisnotonfire) and Phil Lester (AmazingPhil)

Fandom: Phandom/Youtubers

Categories: Reader Insert, Gender!Neutral Reader, Polyamorous

Title: Smile

  Requested by anon:

Hello! Could you possibly write a Phan x reader (polyamorous relationship cause I rarely see it) and the reader is depressed and kinda suicidal so Dan and Phil just take care of them all day. Like tell them why they're amazing (cute sticky notes idk whatever is fine) and take them out and just make em happy and feel worthy. Very fluffy! You don't have to write this if it's too triggering and/or if you're against polyamory. I'm just sad and this stuff always makes me happy. Chao!❤

Requested by anon:

Could you pleeaasee write an imagine where Dan and Y/n have a cute date night at home with dinner, movies and cuddling, etc and then they put music on and 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran comes on and they slow dance in the living room and with their foreheads pressed together and just really fluffy stuff then Dan says everything he loves about Y/n and he proposes at the end of the song?? Sorry that it's so specific! thank you! <3

I let out a big sigh as I continued to apathetically browse Tumblr on my laptop, not really even enjoying what I was doing. I was just trying to distract myself not to dwell on my negative thoughts.

I stirred in my bed, lying in a different position, and feebly kept on scrolling through my dashboard. I couldn’t wait to go to sleep.

Then a knock came on the door, surprising me. Even though, honestly, I should have expected them to check on me. Truth was, I had almost forgotten I lived with Dan and Phil.

“Come in” I replied tiredly, sitting up slightly to look at the door.

“Hey, Y/N” Phil stuck his head and stared at me.

I noticed how he frowned when he saw me, his eyes filling with concern.

“Hi, Phil”

“You alright?” He asked me, trying to keep an upbeat tone in his voice.

With a sigh, I put the laptop away and properly sat up. Phil cautiously walked into the room when he noticed this.

Since I wasn’t really saying anything else, he sat down in the bed with me.

“We haven’t really seen you for like two days other than bumping into you on your way to the bathroom or something” His beautiful blue eyes pierced me worriedly.

“I have been feeling… well, pretty depressed” I was so tired that I didn’t really care telling him the truth. I just wanted to feel better.

I could read the genuine sadness in Phil’s eyes in response to my words, but he still kept a cheerful attitude when he replied.

“Why hadn’t you said something? You know we’re here for you” His hand tenderly rubbed my upper arm in a fond gesture.

I just shrugged, not really knowing the answer. When I was like that, I was pretty lost and didn’t really know how I felt. I was just so dull and passive.

“Well, we’re gonna get you to smile, you’ll see” Risking it a bit, he leaned forward and kissed me in the cheek. “Dan!!”

As he called out to the house, hoping to receive an answer, he stood up from the bed and offered me a hand. I felt too lazy and couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed.

“Yeah?” Finally, it came Dan’s voice from somewhere in the house.

“Y/N is sad!” Phil replied loudly, so he could hear him. “Come here and help me put a smile on this cute little face!”

I rolled my eyes at his attempts, still finding them endearing. Phil was also so bright and so nice, it warmed my heart.

“Wot?!” Dan exclaimed in outrage, and we could hear him racing toward us.

Phil chuckled at his endearing gesture while I waited for the inevitable.

When Dan arrived to our room he was gasping for air as he had run so fast, the goofball. I would have smiled if it weren’t for that mood I was rendered in because of my stupid depression.

“You’re sad?! I thought you were being lazy and wanting to be alone with your movies and stuff” He sighed, not too happy about such discovery. “Is your depression acting up again?”

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I don’t know…”

The two of them were there, watching me worriedly, and they were so determined to help me. It was so sweet, but I couldn’t expect less dating them both.

“Wanna go play videogame or something?” Phil offered with a kind smile.

“I guess…” I shrugged again, not truly feeling like it but knowing it would do me some good.

Besides, Dan and Phil always managed to cheer me up. I never understood how they did it, but after spending a few hours with them I felt so much better. They made me so happy.

I guessed I was too focused in my own negativity to remember. Or to even think about going for them for help.  

“Let’s go!” Dan took me by the arm and somehow pushed me onto his shoulder.

“Dan!” I complained as he carried me outside the room.

“Be careful!” Phil yelped in a high-pitched voice, stretching his arms out just in case I fell, prepared to catch me.

*

They tried distracting me with videogames, movies and anime, but it didn’t quite work. I couldn’t really focus enough to enjoy any of those activities.

Using it as a last resort, we were watching Friends, knowing how great that show was. It always filled you with great vibes and made you laugh. Good enough, I guess.

The three of us were cuddling in the couch, me being in the middle so I was in the receiving end of both their cuddles. Phil comfortably rested his head on my shoulder and cupped my hand with his, a gesture that surely meant to reassure me by giving me some affection. Dan copied him as well, taking my other hand and intertwining our fingers together.

We laughed a little when, in the TV, Joey pushed Ross into the refrigerator and blamed him of breaking it. That show was so light-hearted and funny that it somehow managed to raise my spirits a little.

Feeling comfortable and slightly better, I leaned into Dan and rested my head on his chest. Phil didn’t lose time to wrap his arms around me and fondly nuzzle my neck as Dan placed an arm around me.

We didn’t speak as we watched TV, we didn’t need to. We were comfortable, and for the first time in days it was finally starting to feel like I could allow myself to smile a little. Because I was content right there and then with them.

All of a sudden, Dan suddenly gasped. I could hear his heart speeding up a little since my ear still rested over his chest.

“Have you eaten anything today?” When I looked up at him, I noticed how he stared at me gravely, eyebrows knitted in concern.

“Y/N, please tell me you have” Phil separated himself from me, but his hand refused to leave mine.

“N-Not really…” I admitted in a whisper, ashamed to confess it.

It was just that when I felt like that it was so hard to accomplish simple tasks as such. Eating, drinking water, showering… all those things felt like a world to me when all I had the energy for was lying down in bed.

Not to mention that my upset stomach wouldn’t really accept food.

Gently sitting up so I wouldn’t fall without his support, Dan then stood up. He dedicated me a determined glance as he pointed his finger at me.

“Phil, you spoil the fuck out of Y/N” He told us in his jokingly important voice. “And I’m gonna make dinner!”

“Dan, you don’t have to” They were definitely spoiling me, actually cooking for me.

“I’m gonna!” He was already on his way to the kitchen.

Knowing him, he would also make my favorite meal even if it took him forever.

While Dan was gone, I looked at Phil. His kind blue eyes were piercing me lovingly, it made me think of how much they both adored me. Perhaps if I was worth their love, I couldn’t be that much of a mess as I thought to be.

I managed to smile a little, warmed by the idea that they were trying so hard to cheer me up, to take care of me and remind me how much they loved me.

To do anything in their power to make sure to look after me when I didn’t look after myself, to distract me and be there for me. That alone meant the world to me.

“You already know this, but…” Phil mumbled, eyeing me carefully as though what he was about to say was delicate. “You can always talk to us, if you need to vent or cheering up or anything”

“I know, Philly” Endeared by his further efforts, I held his face and pecked his cheek amorously. “Thanks”

He then displayed a cute smile, even if his pale cheeks had turned a light rose tone. It was adorable when he blushed.

“Want a marshmallow?” Phil suddenly said to avoid embarrassment and to divert my attention from his blushing.

To my surprise, that precious boy pulled out a small bag of marshmallows from his pocket as though he carried it with him at all times. I always knew he had a sweet tooth, but that was ridiculous!

“Phil…” I laughed, shaking my head at the silly scene.

He then let out a strange noise, a mixture between a shocked gasp and a happy high-pitched squeak.

“Dan!” He was overreacting, but it was great seeing how he celebrated my improvements. “Y/N smiled! She’s laughing!”

“Wot?!” A yell came from the kitchen, and we soon heard feet stomping as his enormous stature ran across the house to get back to us again.

Seconds later, he stood at the door of the room, watching us with a twinkle of joy shining in his brown eyes.

“Mission accomplished!” Phil jumped to his feet and high-fived him.

Even if they missed and made a fool out of themselves. I couldn’t tell if that was deliberate or not.

“Does that mean you’re gonna stop being nerds?” I affectionately asked them, trying to convey my gratitude.

“No!” Phil replied in his outraged high-pitched voice.

“It is still our duty to spill you to the maximum!” Dan took my hand and gently pulled at it until I was standing up from the couch. “Come here!”

“I’ll keep cooking, be right back!” Before he left, Phil kissed me in the cheek.

Gallantly, Dan placed an arm around me and took my hand and began to slow dance with me.

“Thanks, Danny” I gladly snuggled closer to him, hiding my face on his shoulder and enjoying the warm closeness.

“Don’t mention it, Y/N” He left a tender kiss on my forehead that made me giddy.

*

Having eaten, hydrated myself and being spoiled, it felt livelier. Dan and Phil’s cares had greatly improved my mood and seemingly belittled my worries and insecurities. They were still there, but with those two boys around they didn’t seem as important anymore.

Somehow I ended up lying in the couch, with my head resting on Dan’s lap as he tenderly caressed my hair and with my legs up on Phil’s as he absently tapped his fingers against them.

Thanks to them, I was experiencing a comforting calm and peacefulness that I hadn’t in days. My anxiety used to drive me crazy with distressing thoughts and this feeling of being unable to breathe. But right then I sighed happily.

“You know what you could use now?” Phil mumbled, his eyes directed to yet another episode of Friends in the TV. “Some fresh air”

“Very fresh air, actually” I replied jokingly. “We live in London”

Dan and Phil exchanged a hopeful glance because of my little joke. Those two nerds, being so happy that I felt in the mood to make a joke.

“You’re right” I mumbled as I lazily stood up. “But just a little walk, I’m kinda tired”

“Yeah, just enough to get you some fresh air!”

“Or some direct sunlight” Dan teased us, knowing it would be cloudy.

I briefly gave them a kiss before I went to get ready.

As I walked to my room, I noticed there was something in my door that wasn’t usually there. A small green sticky note with Phil’s messy handwriting.

Curious, I picked it up and read it.

‘Hi, Y/N! Get ready to read the things we love about you…’ I turned around the small note to read what was in the back. ‘I wanted to tell you in person, but Dan knew you would be all flustered so…’

That comment earned a chuckle from me, because I realized they were right. I would feel overwhelmed and stupid if they rambled about those things in person. But it was an adorable idea, and one that definitely made me feel better.

I opened the door and let out a small laugh when I noticed there were sticky notes all over my bedroom. Dan and Phil must have sneaked in when they were ‘making dinner’.

The closest one to me was on my bedside table, a blue sticky note with the number 1 scribbled on it with Dan’s handwriting. I picked it up and turned it around to read the first compliment.

‘Your amazing smile! Are you kidding me? That bright, genuine wonderful smile that can bring world peace! *heart eyes*’

I was very glad that they decided this method instead, because I would never see the end of it if they were telling me all those things to my face. I would blush so hard that their teasing would end me.

In the headboard of my bed there was a yellow one that read ‘Number 2. Your eyes are so warm and friendly and beautiful!’ with Phil’s handwriting.

The number 3 was written by Dan, stuck on my desk, and it said ‘I swear, Y/N, the sound of your laughter is so pure and precious that it purifies the darkness of my soul’ in an orange sticky note that made me laugh.

As I got changed, I kept on reading these cute little notes. And feeling happy and blessed with each one.

*

They were waiting for me out of my room, already dressed and ready to go out. They were so lovely, it was so heartwarming all they were doing for me that day. And always.

“Ready?” Dan asked me with a warm smile plastered in his lips.

There were hidden mischievous smile on both their faces as they tried to pretend like they didn’t fill my room with adorable little notes.

I nodded and hugged them both tightly. I lingered on the embrace for quite a while before we left the apartment, feeling lucky that I had those two wonderful boys that I could call boyfriends and that would always be there to cheer me up. To make me smile.

[therealraynarvaez-jr]

UM SHIP ASKS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do wash and bucky

you’re horrible

1. Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out you know it’s bucky, he is always getting into some shit. whether it’s with steve and sam, or just by himself. wash is the one who has to pull him back and actually stop him

2. Who's the one to send the other "I love my gf/bf" memes i mean, they don’t send those kind of memes, but they both send each other just regular memes

3. Who's the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn't like and how does the other react wash listens to soft rock and bucky hates it. it’s too slow and chill, it makes him fall asleep.

4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love they don’t do a lot of spoiling bc they’re poor as fuck, but it’s a fight to show their gratitude towards each other.

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them it’ll take them a few years after they first meet to actually get married, they settle down with each other fast, but marriage takes a lot of time and mones

6. What was their wedding like it was so gay, both of them were too emotional about it. bucky let wash take care of most of the actual aesthetics and stuff

7. Is their friends/family supportive oh yeah, sam is just happy bucky is stable and feeling at least better about himself. and y’know, wash doesn’t have any friends.

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying it’s a lot of... sitting together kinda quiet, being ready to reassure the other that they’ll be alright coming out of it.

9. Which one dissociates HA, it’s both of them. constantly

10. Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them ..... it just doesn’t happen, at all

11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like? they live in a decent sized one bedroom, there’s a lot of plants and cat towers ( they have five (5) cats ), but when they actually move into a house ( one that wash wants to build, like wtf wash please ) it’s out in the middle of nowhere and it’s so large and spacious

12. What do their dates look like they don’t go on many dates bc they’re not that romantic, but it’s always really nice when they do. they go to lunch or dinner, they go on a walk, it’s real gay

13. How does each act when getting drunk they don’t get drunk, really, for their on personal reasons. but if it ever did happen, that’s when it gets really affection, it’s bad

14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them ew, they would never touch each other, idk what you’re talking about.

15. Have they saved each other's lives before I MEAN, i don’t want to be the guy that said they saved each other by being there for each other, butttttttttt

16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless listen, wash loves the office and bucky hates it, but he’ll watch it anyways for wash

17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images they both do bc they only speak in memes

18. Does one of them kinkshame the other no, bc there is no kinks. but i wouldn’t put it past them to just say it in response to something the other is doing

19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them they’re both pretty banged up from years in war and fight ( i don’t want to talk about bucky’s arm, leave him be ) so that’s kind of a thing with them. and they don’t talk about it, but it’s less out of respect, more out of... idk, i guess they know?? that it’s okay, they know what the other has been through and why all those scars are there.

20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing? we don’t have to take our clothes off by ella eyre 

21. What is their song? Like the song that gives them overwhelming feelings? they don’t really have a song that they picked out, but I PERSONALLY KNOW it’s anything for you by ludo

22. What song do they listen to while going on a joyride neither of them can drive, they need to get back at it

23. What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones? okay, if they did go on joyrides, they’d go on relaxing ones. they’re not too wild these days.

24. Where would they vacation for a honeymoon wash wants to go to disneyworld. there are too many people there, so it’s a bad idea, but he wants to go. or, like, romania, or somewhere. bucky’s from there, so y’know.

25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda they don’t do pda, but they are gay in group chats. but more like “i hate you” “i know” gay then actual gay

26. Would they live in the city or the country they’re more suburbs kind of people. they’re not about the middle of the city living.

27. Which ones the red which ones the blue I MEAN...... wash is blue and bucky is red. i thought we knew this

28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope. “haaaa......they are both VERY mentally ill ( PTSD, though the cause is different for both, etc etc. ). As far as Wash, he tends to just...let Bucky live his life? He doesn’t want to police anyone’s recovery / coping / etc. He’ll try to help if he really needs to, but he typically doesn’t try to. “ --- @deweyfiinn

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there no, but if you touch wash anywhere, he will kill you

30. Do they dance together not seriously, but they’d probably just fuck around

31. Do they sing together horribly

32. Which one is better at cooking than the other and makes most the dinners they’re both alright a cooking, but bucky is better and does most of it

34. Are they a reckless couple or safe very safe, the safest

35. What be they kinks and do they try each other's kinks NO KINK

36. What would their valentines gifts be to each other bucky gets wash cat things. anything related to a cat, including a cat.

37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up? they don’t have real fights, they argue over dumb stuff, it’s not even real arguing. they’re too chill and in sync with each other

38. Which ones top, bottom, verse ....... anyways, wash is ace

39. What kinda sex they be having (gentle rough whatever) again, wash is ace

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them they both would, if someone actually came after bucky about the whole winter soldier thing, wash would kill. and bucky would do the same if someone was attacking wash for PFL

41. Which one has a favorite movie that they have the other watch with them again and again it’s Sing. they saw Sing when it first came out and now it’s one of the house classics

42. How would one react if the other was to die OH MY GOD, bucky would be devastated, there’d be.... like, very little reason for him to go on, which sounds bad, but i mean. like, he’d try really hard for a couple of months.

43. Who dies first it could be either one, they both have really big health risks that they live with, so either of them could drop dead at any second

44. Do they want kids they do! they’ll talk about it way more in depth at a later point in the relationship, but at some point, they do want kids

45. How would they spend their last moments together it’s so sad. bucky will try to be so caring in the last moments, reassuring wash that he’ll be okay after all this, that they’ll see each other again soon. try to make wash as comfortable as possible ( if it’s inevitable, old age or health problems ), he just wants to keep wash happy in his last moments